#this fandom is a little bit. mentally ill?
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beastsovrevelation · 10 months ago
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I like that Yellowjackets went the "actually, the supposed mental patient is, in fact, a prophet" route.
It's the true horror for Lottie, the Wilderness being real. It's something inside, yes, but it's also a mystical force. It's everywhere. It's the true God (well, Goddess). It's so poetic, I love it. I could write a litany about it. The show executes the "actually, insanity would have been a comfort" trope so well.
I think, the Wilderness is a Lovecraft-level eldritch primordial entity, but folktale instead of sci-fi.
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edge-oftheworld · 2 months ago
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I don’t really talk about it much on here because I’m extremely lucky to be able to understand exactly what’s going on in my body, but it’s scary to live for years as someone who Gets Things Done in a way your peers don’t really understand, be putting effort into so many things you care about, and then suddenly lose the ability to do not only that but also basic tasks overnight after a deadline, and bit by bit after many. it’s scary getting really irritable sometimes to the point of violence, just when you were meant to be celebrating the rewards from your hard work, the only impact of the work you did that you can see is that you overdrafted your ability to do anything. including have a basic conversation without getting grumpy or crying. and your body is going to make you pay it back with interest, you already know that, but you don’t know how to start filling yourself back up. you’ve only ever enjoyed being on the grind, hard at work on exciting things.
I don’t know how many of you have been through the kind of burnout that’s years of needing 12hrs of sleep a night but with terrible insomnia, waking up to what feels like a hangover for weeks on end with little relief then rinse and repeat without having a single drink, feeling too sick to eat and needing to exercise to emotionally regulate but being unable to, anxiety that doesn’t come from worry but you’ll pick that up too at some point, dissociating every time you try to do mentally taxing tasks that you’re PAID for so it takes an hour of grounding yourself just to get five minutes worth of productive concentration, falling asleep the minute you feel a little safe by being in the presence of loved ones. but I suspect I’m not the only one.
I’ve had songs for the energetic and angsty times leading up to this. for the exasperated times and the brain fog and the times where all my limited energy is tied up in feeling things. that I need to, need to acknowledge, but it’s overwhelming and I live in a haze for weeks as a result of. songs telling of the kind of youth I wish I had, even when I was sold something else. songs for the months spent as a teenager trying to be there for my friends, worrying for them, distracting me from worrying for myself, trying to cling on to positivity and hope amongst it when I had to choose to make a discipline of always seeing that. I’ve had songs for healing and when healing is harder than expected and songs that have the right level of musical complexity to capture the layers of everything that’s happening in my head, making it sound good, telling me it’s gonna be okay.
I don’t know how I could ever say thank you for this. but I do know that I see parts of myself in the people behind these songs, of course I do, and I worry for them as a result and ache for them because it’s hard enough to feel this way when no one knows me or feels the need to control me or mould me into what they think I should be. I’d do anything to keep them all healthy and happy and all of their loved ones too and I don’t think it’s strange as a fan to take that seriously. I hope we can understand the need to treat them gently, and to while not questioning their privacy and the fact that they’re never going to tell us everything they go through, listen to our intuition when we catch something we relate to and treat what they’ve shared with us or hinted at with the dignity we would if someone we love told us something vulnerable. be kind in our expectations and be intentional in the fan culture we create because it does make its way back to them.
and the same goes with all of you. we’re bonding over the same things. I know a lot of this fandom is in the stage where interpersonal relationships are hard. we don’t mean to be grumpy of frustrated but we are. and I’m sending love to all of you. we can get through this together. it’s what they’ve always longed for isn’t it?
#thoughts after how worried I’ve been recently. since june I think#I’d love to start a conversation in this fandom about the connection im newly discovering between burnout and mental illness and fatigue#in a way we can be positive about these things and be there for each other without calling anyone to confirm if we interpret some songs#to represent experiences that may or may not be theirs because it doesn’t matter in the end. we have these songs and if you get it you get#we’ve all been clocked as ‘not feeling very well’ recently anyway so. it doesn’t need to be specific. but we do need to be kind#like hey. artist. I don’t know exactly what you’re going through to have written these songs that mean this to me. but I’m here for you#fill in the blanks. all we’ve got are our stories to share. I hope mine helps us understand and be a little kinder to those who need it#without thinking we can judge who we think needs it. but rather default to kindness and in the case of musicians etc that means patience#it means we learn together. what it means to connect and have boundaries and the boundaries they might like to have#anyway I’ve not said who these songs are by so if you reblog and wanna tag another artist that’s g I’ve got a few by several others as well#but I know this fandom. I know this band and I know exactly why I worry for each band member though I’m not gonna say here. just. take care#5 seconds of summer#5sos#luke hemmings#ashton irwin#calum hood#michael clifford#exact experience of burnout I have talked about is that of someone with adhd and a pda profile and some form of bipolar#which may be a product of pda profile things or not. these aren’t the only diagnoses I’d likely fit but they are the ones that explain the#story and have guided me to understand how to recover and I’m doing that bit by bit. and if you want me to tell you how please ask#but I’m not advertising it cause that’s weird I’d sound like a scammer if I did. even if when I’m hypomanic I think I can heal everyone
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hahahmitski · 2 years ago
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Just another one
Just a reminder that when all of Miss Peregrine's wards except Hugh, Fiona, Claire and Olive going to Miss Hawksbills loop they shouted her name loudly to find Miss Hawksbill. When Jacob talking he said "We had, as usual, little choice but to entrust our lives into a person who in normal world would be considered deeply unwell." HE CALLED HIS BASICALLY FASTEST WAY TO GO TO HER SISTER'S LOOP AND AN YMBRYNE, YMBRYNE I SAY "deeply unwell". I mean yeah she probably is "deeply unwell" but he says it like it happens all the time with different Ymbrynes. Prolly said to much but just can't believe that Jacob has to balls to say that about Miss Hawksbill. :(
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possuminnit · 1 year ago
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FOUND IT
what was that one tweet the writer of the uh most popular/first??? sbi superhero au thing made where they were announcing they were leaving the fandom. does anyone have that
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creation-help · 8 months ago
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I don't wanna expose any usernames here but listen.
If you genuinely think it's okay to put "delulu" in your URL, don't follow me. That's a very harmful term that's come along with this tiktokish wave of watering down mental health terms into what is basically just a new, trendier way of using them as insults and making a mockery of them. It's not a cutesy little Fandom way of saying you're being a bit silly about your favorite blorbo, it's barely a step above just saying slurs or going "I'm so ocd" "I'm so schizo" about something. I'm frankly really tired of this trend of people appropriating mental illness to express that they feel passionately about some characters or a piece of media. Can you please just learn to say what you mean instead of trivializing neurodivergency.
"Delulu" "acoustic" "restarted" Do. Not.
You sound like people who claim it's okay to use the r slur ""as a joke"".
It's not cute, it's not funny, it shouldn't be okay just because it's trending. Think for yourself for one second and do better.
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l0s3rd0wnt0wn · 15 days ago
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Platonic Yandere!Batfam x Weird black neglected!reader
You're a little bit weird—well, not just a little bit, but you're normal compared to your "family," those weirdos running around in masked costumes beating up the mentally ill. At least you have hobbies that don't endanger the public, like spending your time on the Internet spreading misinformation and having online arguments. You enjoy Discord calls with your friends and trolling Discord mods. It's just too fun! Plus, with the Batcomputer, you can dox almost anyone in the country. You spend most of your time in your room; there's no need for family bonding when you have your anime husbands to keep you happy. You're like an enigma in the house; you only appear when your stomach growls and when you need a proper meal that doesn't contain Dr. Pepper and spicy chips that might burn your insides. Your interests go from niche to unknown fandoms—so small that the author lets your self-insert become an actual character. Trickets and buttons from all types of fandoms decorate your bag like a museum. Thank God for Bruce Wayne's money; you wouldn't have half the merch you have now. But at school, you're also unknown—just the weird, geeky kids who hang out with other weird, geeky kids in your small circle of friends. You remember once you tried to invite Damian into the group because you knew he liked manga back when you were hopeful and naive. The little gremlin denied it and called them "childish." He literally reads shoujos, and this was the day you were going to introduce him to Cardcaptor Sakura—that little hater. But ever since then, you have kept your distance. Your brother Tim had the same interest; you tried to bond over My Hero, showing off a plush, only for him to tell you, "That show was mid," and it made you buckle to your knees. You tried to bond over books with Jason; he told you to read real books and that comics were for kids. You wanted to strangle his thick neck. Dick just didn't know anything about anything—he's too old. The girls just didn't care much. Barbara told you to grow up, and Stephanie gave you that. "Wow, that's really cool..." smile. You knew she didn't care, and Cass would rather train than hear you ramble about power ranger crossovers, but then again, how could you relate to them there superheros, And you're just one weirdo it makes you want to rip out your dreads and scream. You try so hard, but you're still an afterthought, just another body in the house and another mouth to feed. At least you can vent about it in your Discord servers or cry about while listening to vocaloid, maybe some Mitski for extra kick. But who were they anyway? You were way too cool for them, and they just don't understand your swagger. But maybe the people at the galas will appreciate your interests; then again, you'd rather not talk to old, rich, white people with laughs that cost 500,000 dollars and 20 cents.
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silkythewriter · 9 months ago
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Hello! Can I request alastor x reader where the two were married while they were alive, but reader died via illness or something and went to hell (though they never partaked in the cannibalism) and the reunite in hell?
“I'll love you 'til I'm dead”
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Warning!: Angst, but eventually fluff! A bit of OOC since I haven’t written in awhile.. (.,.)💧
Fandom!: Hazbin hotel!
Author note: LONGGGGG TIME NO SEE, HIYA! IM SO SORRY FOR MY HIATUS OF SORTS BUT I FELT LIKE WRITING SUM SMALL ♡´・ᴗ・`♡ I apologize!, I hope you guys enjoy and I’m so sorry for disagreeing yet again!.
Summary!: Spouse! Reader dying via sickness, but reuniting with alastor in hell.
ꕥ☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼ꕥ
Louise (Louise)
I'll love you 'til I'm dead
Louise (Louise)
Not even if she likes the way you dance
ꕥ☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼ꕥ
First of all, he cherished you to the fullest content. As stuck up as he seems to be smile and all, he was in desperate need of support and attention. And you supplying both of those was all he needed even if he didn’t say out loud the tender touches and moments you both shared alone was enough to tell you everything.
Your relationship was nothing less then sweet and tender, and depending if you knew of his..ahem..little side hobby, it was innocent as well!
He cared for you so deeply, so desperately, to the point where you became his tie to humanity. Of course he knew how to play a role of a sane man, but even then he needed you to tie him to the small humanity and sanity he had.
Although not a big fan of physical affection himself he would in private of course, indulge in your soft touches, and hold. He and there he may quietly slip next to you just so you could softly run you fingers across his skin.
But of course the unviable happen, as the world ripped him of what he held so dear. Maybe as a punishment for his sins and misdeeds, or simply because it could.
Of course in the 30’s medicine was far from advanced, not only that but expensive. So when the news arrived of your newly found sickness all he could do was smile and nod at the doctor as if he wasn’t receiving the most dreadful news.
At first, he genuinely did hope for a recovery, he believed you would get better. Sure a tiny voice in his head was feeding him scary thoughts, and his gut twisted and turned. He felt something was off but surely it was nothing!, right?.
But as your health deteriorated so did his mental state and sanity, even worse then it once was. He put up a front though, for your sake and his, comforting you and saying how you’ll be fine soon, and recover then both of you could go off and do something you always wanted to do.
At some points of repeating this it really turned into him assuring himself. That your not leaving him, no, not anytime soon.
The more you fell ill the more you watched him spiral infront of you. And all you really could do was stare at him with sadden eyes as you gave comforting touches against his cheek or holding him close, even if you could barely pull yourself up from the bed you laid.
You felt your time coming close to ending, and somehow so did he. But unlike you he denied it to the fullest extent.
“Please dear don’t speak of such things, don’t worry yourself. You’ll be fine you’ll see!, now just rest my dear”
He wanted to believe it’ll pass over anytime now, ignoring the doctors he spent fortunes on. And sometimes he does blame them even if they just told the truth. He hated how they couldn’t help you, how he couldn’t help you.
So the day of you passing was the day he lost his final tie to humanity. If not for you, why give such a nasty world mercy?.
ꕥ☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼ꕥ
The minute they lowered your casket and buried you with the dirt is also the day he decided to amp up his murders.
He’s not sloppy with his murders their always calculated and tidy but grossem. Even with this, losing you he couldn’t concentrate which didn’t help his case as his blood lust grew and grew.
Each and every murder his mind went blank, thoughts of you kept flooding in that he desperately wanted to rip from his mind.
If a woman that wore you same fragrant passed him. She would be gone in a matter of days.
Nights were colder, harsher, he always assumed karma would catch up to him, but to him not you.
He often questioned what happened how did it happen. How did you even get such a illness?, and why did it have to be you?. We’re you in heaven watching him in his pitiful state? Was there even such a thing?. If there was…he surely wasn’t going to see you he knew where he was damned to go, but you?, he was sure you deserved the Pearl-ist set of wings.
Depending on the days, months or years following your death, he’s like a ticking time bomb.
He yearns for you in such a way he’s humiliated at it in a way. He misses you desperately, widowed too soon, he always assumed it would be you to be in this position, but he assumed wrong.
Even then he couldn’t tell if he could subject you to the twist of his heart and guts. He would beg to die before you, but the pain he feels now is something he would never want you to feel.
Following thoughts of your death was also his. Would he get to see you soon?, one last glance before being damned?.
He never truly moved on, cause you were his only love. Loving someone for him atleast, was rare in a romantic sense.
At some point he genuinely does just continue his murders till his death, maybe it was your passing that truly killed him. After your passing he was a bit hasty, maybe that’s what lead him to be shot in the woods. But who truly knows?
ꕥ☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼ꕥ
Now, after his death is where everything truly came together.
His rise to power was fairly quick killing overloads one by one gaining more voices on his radio.
But the lingering feeling of hope stayed in him…maybe you were here? Waiting for him?, But at the same time he hated this life for you, in such a miserable and disgusting yet admittedly amusing place(at least to him)
Now depending on how you found him maybe the minute his radio debuted. Or maybe by a game of telephone by the residents in hell whispering rumors and describing someone all to familiar to you.
Either way! You guys do eventually find each other. By chance or destiny is up to you
The minute he spots you, hears you, even senses you, he freezes. His smile never flattering but static surrounding the area as he processes what’s happening. Is this some sort of trick?, how..how did you end up here?
In a matter a seconds though he’s in front of you, looming as his shadow grows in suspense.
He holds his appearance and self image very important but in this tiny moment of silence. He lets it slip even if just a bit, smile never faltering but I’m his eyes a glimpse of renewed joy. Genuine joy, not form the harms of others but from something warm…something bitter sweet.
Maybe it’s you who pipes up snapping him from observing you like a painting in a museum.
“See?” You said softly grabbing his hand gently like you used to do, as you softly brought it to your face and softly planted it on your cheek. “I’m real” you said with a soft smile (SILENT HILL REFERENCE!!¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
Depending on where you are he’s quick to whisk you away to somewhere secluded.
Despite the questions on his mind all he can do is silently stare at you taking in ever detail, even if some changes here and there, you were still you. The you that he missed so desperately for all too long.
Even if not one for physical affection he’s quick with holding you, scared of you being taken from him again, taking in all he can.
Your so much more precious then he leads on, and he’ll be damned to second hell if he loses you again.
In the period of first meeting you again he is keen on keeping an eye one you 24/7, doesn’t matter what powers or how long you survived without him in hell. He can’t risk it, especially not now as he started accumulating enemies so quickly.
He’ll treat you like it’s your first time dating, of course in his old time-y way, but either surprising you with flowers at random times of the day, or watching you get giddy when he kisses the crown of your head.
Now that he knows, and felt the pain of losing you, every moment you have together form than on is cherished more than before. He remembers every day with you like the back of his hand, what you ate, what you said, what you wore, and more!
He know’s…he knows he’s a messed up, and vail man. He understands the gruesome things he’s done with little to no regret. But if he did in somehow and some way do good, something good to earn you back in his afterlife man is he greatful for it.
Some nights he does just stare at you. He’s scared, he will never show it but he is. If he loses you again, for eternity, he’s not sure what’d he do with himself. And that, the fact you weight so heavily on him is the second scariest thing, first being losing you.
Over all, he’s taken aback having you back, but he gets use to it very quickly, your soft comforting touches and your voice that brings back a flood of memories is something he will never forget nor let ago, he isn’t losing you this time, and he’ll do anything to make sure of that.
ꕥ☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼ꕥ
WOW THAT WAS LONG, I LOVED WRITING IT THOUGH OH MY GOSH I LOVED THIS IDEA, PLEASE REQUEST AGAIN!!! \(^ヮ^)/
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oldmanjenkins985 · 4 months ago
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So, I wanted to talk about something since MD Twitter in particular seems to be having some issues with a current trend in the MD fandom. That being the Panic AU by @candyasbestos (apologies in advance for the ping, just felt like maybe you'd wanna see this)
So I'd like to start right off the bat by saying anyone who is uncomfortable with this AU is completely reasonable for being that way. It's more so that uncomfortableness leading to disdain for the AU that I wanna talk about.
So, I'm a horror fan. I watch plenty of things on horror movies and play plenty of horror games. And what exactly does horror media try and do? Make the player horrified and uncomfortable. Seeing grotesque imagery which may make you wanna vomit. One of the games that comes to mind for something that's definitely meant to make people uncomfortable and not just scared is Fear & Hunger. It's a game with incredibly uncomfortable imagery, sometimes due to gore and other times due to sexual themes. And it's perfectly reasonable for that to turn people off, yet I've never seen anyone have the kind of reaction to stuff like that compared to the reactions some people have had to the Panic AU
And that's the thing with the Panic AU, it makes *N* uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with himself due to Nyx's influence on him. That is the entire point of the AU it seems. And Nyx himself seems to be some kind of representation of mental illness (pretty standard horror trope, I know). I'm not an expert in the subject despite dealing with it quite a bit so I won't name any specific mental illnesses it could be, but it's clear to me Nyx is some kind of urge of N's.
I've made plenty of characters like Nyx for my original works that are also meant to be representations of mental illness. Voices that whisper to you to do terrible things, creatures that make you feel worthless and shut down, etc. I make these not only because I find them scary but also as reflections of my own experience with mental illness. And it's that first point again that makes me question people's reactions to it.
People have said "It's grossly out of character for N" and stuff like that which...honestly that makes me think they only saw the initial wave of art and don't really know how N feels about the whole situation. But the other thing is that so many AUs have intentionally mischaracterized N because of what the AU is. And I'm not talking just swap AUs, I've seen plenty where N's character is wildly different because of the circumstances of the AU. And I see the Panic AU no different.
I also saw another comment of someone saying "We shouldn't normalize behavior like this" and again, I question whether the person has actually researched the thing they're talking about. Nyx, the thing that makes everyone uncomfortable, is very clearly the *villain* of the AU. He killed Uzi, he wants N to kill Thad, he's a horrid little creature. Are villains not meant to do things we disdain? Murder, torture, etc. It's prefectly understandable these things would make people uncomfortable, but isn't that what many villains do? There's plenty of media with torture scenes in them which make people uncomfortable, but that's the point! Hell, some kid shows have torture scenes. What about the Lich's design from Adventure Time? He's a rotting corpse! In a kid show! His design is clearly meant to make the viewer uncomfortable.
So again, while I don't think anyone is in the wrong for being uncomfortable due to the AU, I think many of the criticisms are unfair. A piece of media which is specifically designed to make people uncomfortable should not be criticized for that very reason. Avoid it all you want, that's completely reasonable! Never feel like your reasons for being uncomfortable are unwarrented. But I'm just saying that if you were to critique Silent Hill because it's themes of mental illness and character depictions made you uncomfortable, and that was a *negative*, it just seems a little weird to me.
This is all just my opinion, obviously I'm not THE definitive person on the matter. And I'm not saying anyone who has the AU blocked or anything should check it out. I'm just saying, many people seem to be judging it unfairly.
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bizlybebo · 3 months ago
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hmm. how do i say this…. i don’t really like you guys lol i meannn i like u but umm this fandom is a little bit. mentally ill? no offense im sure u can’t help it, but it’s really not my style anymore💔
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catatombi · 7 months ago
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beware of fang
Hey, im gonna say it outright and state that this is a call out. people get called out for being dangerous. fangs nearly pushed 3 people to commit suicide(including myself) and i had to be hospitalized because of him, so this feels justified. Im sorry if you disagree, ill keep it short and to the point If you’ve been a long time follower of his im sure you’ve seen his vague posts about his ex friends, the cotl tumblr community and “fandom drama” with little to no context behind it, other than various people appearing on his DNI. his vague nature in the posts is intentional, he doesn't want to let on that he was abusing his friends. Ive tried time and time again to write something but it never seemed right, like what he’s done to me and my friends wasn’t severe enough to warrant something like this, but it is and i don't want to let this go any longer, esp not when he has my friends, their names, usernames and literal contact information in his DNI list Over the last year ive been friends with fang hes been horrible. Hes never changed and refuses to acknowledge what hes done to his friends and how horribly he has hurt them, to keep this short im keeping this bullet pointy Here is his carrd, he has everything neatly outlined for yall to block on every platform Dont harass, dont contact. all of this is public information so https://web.archive.org/web/20240713073710/https://fanged-info.carrd.co/#boundaries
https://fanged-info.carrd.co/ Twit: FFANGEDD / narilamb_ / mewhenimsilly Insta: ffangedd / narilamb Tumblr: ffangedd / fanged-cotl / fanged-xeno Cara: narilamb Blusky: fanged / narilamb Itaku: fanged Artfight: FANGED Toyhouse: FFANGEDD Sheezy: fanged Discord & telegram: narilamb All the people mentioned have given consent Cw !!! abuse, suicide, self harm https://drive.google.com/drive/u/2/folders/1MLMOT-qvgrX-9NnUEgpl4AkEPfixy2wG
The drive is a bit out of date, as I logged it all before april. Hes posted more awful shit and vented to me again since then Feel free to request the letter i wrote to him, i might share it anyway because it sums up my thoughts on the matter If you want any additional context feel free to ask
Fang uses suicide and self harm threats to control and manipulate his friends, hes begged me for assisted suicide and when i refused to help him commit he begged in groupchats. He begged on instagram stories as well as twitter, so much so that his twitter for suspended for 12 hours. He has admitted to wanting someone to commit suicide with him and has previously formed suicide pacts and nearly followed through on one with a friend. fang backed out first. he continues to redirect blame. refusing to take accountability for his actions. He still blames his previous medications, his ex psychiatrist, his self diagnosed BPD & OCD, psychosis, and states of beings from disorders he doesn't have (claiming to be manic or sociopathic whilst not having bipolar1 or ASPD) fang blames his (ex)friends, claiming they were projecting their mental illness onto him when they were just reacting to his abuse, that they the ones in the wrong and that how they treated him/cut him off was vile and unfair, and believes that he never got real closure when he did. it just wasn't what he wanted to hear and now feels entitled to an apology from these people when all he’s ever done is traumatize and terrorize them. He describes the amount in which he has cut over pavi, wart and kat because what they put him through and how they traumatized him. The traumatizing actions were: Kat asking for a content warning, pavi didn't want to walk on eggshells anymore and blocked him without an explanation & wart blocked him after being emotionally abused for months Hes described how he would carve their names into his thigh and told me that he will carve my name into his skin when i leave too. He demanded wart and surf choose their “real friends” and cut off their community for him because fang hated that they were being “two-faced” and hanging out with “people who hate him” He would spend hours venting relentlessly and graphically in his friends DMs, demanding their time and attention and expecting immediate replies. His friends are not professionals and shouldnt be expected to be an on-call DIY therapist for him, for hours, without consent. Fang has said he is completely unwilling to self censor for other peoples safety fang has vented to a 13 year old (they were not hiding their age) He referred to me (and our friends) as a phone person, a voice, icons. Concepts he can talk. Completely dehumanizing everyone that cared about him even to their faces. He blames his ex friends for his poor mental health and has said he wishes they watched him commit suicide, he wanted his friends to be traumatized from this (as if they werent already.) When a friend posted a screenshot of a gamenight to tumblr he had a breakdown so severe and so dangerous for so long that several of his friends has to mute the DM to keep themselves safe from his verbal abuse and suicide/SH threats He doesn't care about how triggering any of this can be for someone and will subject anyone (including people in danger) to his “venting” He didnt care about triggering me and contacted me at the worst of my suicidality in january and exasperated the danger i was in so severely I had to be hospitalized against my will before I could commit suicide. 
Im honestly not entirely sure what to even think. he knew the severity of my suicidality. he knew I had been hospitalized for an attempt in 2022, and still he chose me, probably the most vulnerable of his friends at the time to vent that heavily too back in janurary Hes a dangerous selfish person whos proven over and over that hes not getting better and isnt willing to change, i honestly had hope when he slowed down his graphic vent posts and victim blaming on twitter and insta but he decided to say fuck all and get right back into his shit train of shame and misery. Heres a link to all of the screenshot, damning ones are in important bitz if you’re not interested in going through them all https://drive.google.com/drive/u/2/folders/1MLMOT-qvgrX-9NnUEgpl4AkEPfixy2wG in these screens alone he: admits to sending his cuts to his friends, threatens to cut if i leave, admits that he was going to go through with a duel suicide and begged me for assisted suicide
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warts screenshots v
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full screenshots & complete context in the drive as for him claims that i was stalking him: i was scared, i was his friend. i tried so hard to be good enough and never was. the screens were a by product of confiding in my friends about what was happening and the drive was made to share w/ them i admit i prolly shouldve combed out some of it but, ykno also big phat apology for tagging cotl!!!!! only did bc fang has, please stay safe everyone, and thank you so much if you have read everything (the doc encase anyone was wanting it ! figured i;d just use tumblr regular posting method) https://docs.google.com/document/d/17QjXUEdQVd8c4GZS--vPo-xR3kgmoLl4ZmN3ROMutg0/edit?usp=sharing
edit as of 8:30pm 7/17/24 here is a link to pavi's response warts response and kats response
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feral-childs-word · 7 months ago
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Blood
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Fandom: DC
Yandere!batfamily x Male!reader
Description: Being a l/n has always been your thing but finding out your a fucking Wayne sucks especially how shitty and mentally ill your new family is.
Warning!: Angst, death, blood, neglect, curse words, made by a MINOR, not proof read, m/n going a little mental guys, anger issues (if you can call it ig)
A/n: I've reader neglected reader as a strong yet weak person getting easily manipulated and kidnapped with not that great with there mental health. But...what if we got reader who has anger issues but doesn't show them that often and is mentally not okay after the death of his mother? And on top of that being neglected only to be babied once being remembered.
Words: Who do you take me for? 🗿🗿
Welcome to blood series!- 1-Mother oh mother
Next ->
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There was a once a time where you lived with your mother. Your oh so sweet mother the one who raised you from the slums of Gotham. The women with that soft smile everytime she enjoyed or saw something she liked. With those soft yet delicate hands that always helped you when you got injured from riding a bike or tripping on thin air.
As you grew older you noticed how tired she always was coming home from work with dark bags that clung to her soft pale like skin yet she always smiled. God how you wanted to help your mother that time but you were just 10 doing nothing but helping keep the run down apartment decent for when she comes home from work and going to elementary school trying to get good scores and good reports so your mother doesn't stress on anything and doing activities to get you by while your mother worked.
Yet here you are 16 and staring down at the stone which engraved your mother name and last name with the dates of her birth and death. The rain poured heavily down on you not caring about the umbrella. Your eyes didn't move and glance at the movements you heard behind you. You didn't flinch when a hand larger than your mother's hand gently placed on your shoulder.
Your fists dripped with blood for how hard you clenched how you wanted to slap the man's hand away. You hated being touched it made you sick it made you angry it wasn't your mother's soft touch no. It was some random stranger talking that you couldn't hear because your ears rung like when your tv goes static.
Why?
Why?
WHY?!
Why couldn't she stayed home that day? Why couldn't she waited until morning to get you that stupid cake for your birthday?
"It's your fault you know" The voice whispered it was agonizing hearing that awful voice that annoying child like voice. You wanted to bang your head on something, anything. You wanted to claw your brains out just so you could get rid of that voice.
"If you hadn't asked her for a cake she wouldn't have died that day." The voice giggles whispering it to your ear like a soft melody. Gods how that voice annoys you breaking you down bit by bit.
"ki-"
Who was that?
"k-"
Huh?
"Kid!" The sound of the man says making you snap out of your thoughts. Turning your gaze downward to the shorter man his glasses glimmered under the lightning that flashed his hands still on your shoulder. The umbrella covered both him and you under the heavy rain.
"There you are lost you there for a moment." The man chuckles softly putting his hand down though you didn't relax just stared at the man. "Ehem has I was saying we gotta take you to the station see if you have any family members that is willing to take you in." The man says which you now concluded it's a detective with his brown coat and hat.
You swallowed thickly your hands unclenching as you nod your head weakly to tired and worn out to fight or speak you just wanted sleep. The detective smiles and gestures to you to follow which you obey and follow the man but not without giving the grave where your mother was buried one last look and turned away going in the man's car.
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Fuck being in a police station sucks.
The food is disgusting with now weird smelling the food it that they offer you. You rather eat the shitty school meals.
Your phone almost on low battery. The detectives ad Police officers refusing to drive you to get your things even your damn charger and they didn't have the charger you need.
This shit sucks the couches absolutely are uncomfortable they don't have enough fluffed cushions. Oh how you missed your bed and your cheek 5 dollar blanket your ma bought at 5 below when she got her paychecks.
Your leg bounced up and down looking up at the clock checking the time then down at the floor counting the different patterned carpet. Got how annoying that tucking of the clock sounded you just wanted to bash it until it stopped making that aggravating ticking noise. One more fucking hour enduring this shit your gonna loose it.
You leg bounced even more your hand tapping against your arm waiting for that damn door to open to have some news anything. Your head snapped to the sound of the door opening cringing at the small creaking sound it made. Your eyes landing on the same man that took you away from the graveyard and.....
No way....
This can't be happening...
Why is Bruce fucking Wayne here??
"Kid I want you to meet Bruce Wayne or should I say your father.."
SON OF A FUCKING BITCH
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draconicred · 1 month ago
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Experiences in the Alterhuman Community (and Beyond) as a Fictive
It's a weird experience being a fictional character, especially dealing with fandom, the fact that your source is fictional, and interactions with people based on that--including some of the dehumanisation that's so common toward fictionfolk. I'm gonna go into that here because I need somwhere to collect my thoughts, so this might get long. I'll be talking about my experiences as a fictive, but this could very well apply to anyone who identifies as a fictional being--fictionkin, fictionlinkers, etc.
So, I see the version of me on the screen as an AU version of me, in short. I mean, I'm me, and I don't think I even looked exactly 1:1 with my canon self--so naturally, even though events line up pretty closely, I see my source as... Almost like a fanfic of my life? Like sure, that's decidedly me, and decidedly a lot of the things that happened to me and my friends, but also not me. I'm not that guy on the screen, he's what represents me.
Even though I fully believe I got here by dying in a literal past life, my source media here is absolutely fictional to me and I just... Don't look at it in really any other way. Which I guess makes sense if you put it into my perspective--what else would it be? It really is like reading a fanfic based on your life though, or reading an article about yourself in the news. A bit of a shock, a bit of "why did they include THAT?" sprinkled in here and there, a bit awkward sometimes, and it does tend to resurface bad feelings. But overall, it's not that personal to me. I'm largely fine with it existing.
On the other hand, what is shocking is that people see me as fictional. I'm a fictional introject, from a fictional source, from the perspectives of a lot of people here. But I look at my source and I go well... Yeah, that's fiction of course, but my life is an actual thing that happened to me. Realistically I know that not everyone has spiritual beliefs and not everyone even accepts fictional identities as something "real", but man is it weird to just... Have it be spun in such a way?
I'm used to being in the media, I'm used to having cameras on me and being in the public eye. I'm used to articles and stories and posts on the internet. I'm used to fans even! But this isn't your regular, run-of-the-mill experience of people wanting to know you because you're a hero. This is people who see your life and experiences as a fun story they saw in a book or on TV, coming up to you with the idea that you're their favourite character, and not... A whole entire person. It's so damn weird.
There's still that level of disrespect that comes from people who are a little parasocial with you, but it almost hits deeper here because a lot of the time, you know they're not seeing a hero or the things you've literally done in your memories. They're seeing that guy on the screen they think is cool, and while he represents you, he's not you. And they're treating you like a celebrity because of that weird fanfic version of you on the TV or in that book.
There's usually little acknowledgement of your life or experiences as "real". When you're presenting as your fictional identity around others, you tend to get put into one of a few camps:
Cool Character from Media who I love and adore and want to talk to (and will probably get fanperson excited about it). I will probably get dispraportionally upset if Character tells me to back off a bit because I don't want my blorbo to be mad at me.
Character from Media I'm in love with and will immediately start asking invasive questions to or outright flirting with. Could get real gross real quick.
Problematic Character or Guy From Problematic Media that I instantly dislike because that's so Problematic how dare you show your face. I'm reporting you for being Character, you should change your identity if you want to exist so bad.
Character from Media who is disabled/queer/mentally ill/has any soft personality trait ever and I will now be treating you like a sweet little babyboy cinnamon roll who could not hurt a fly.
Person who identifies as Character? How interesting! I'm going to really pry and question everything from your actions in-source (to get unique perspectives from Character) and question literally everything else. Because this is Science and I'll get mad if you don't tell me everything, you need to tell me everything or you're rude.
Of course there's nuance and there's absolutely times where you'll be treated as a normal person, but the above are... So damn common. I've been here for a few months and I've already had some weird stuff happen to me simply because I'm Kirishima and people feel entitled to give me cutesy nicknames or whatever. Even without knowing me or my system at all beforehand. It's just.. So different from anything I've experienced before? Being treated like a celebrity is dehumanising enough, but being treated like a character.ai bot or just generally a form of free entertainment and not a person is so perplexing to me.
There's also that if you're from a popular source, you see stuff about yourself everywhere. Posters, plushies, advertisements, posts on social media--all of it. Some of that I'm used to already, but it's kind of weird when you're mentally aware that this is all for that twisted-mirror version of yourself and not you. And if you get a little uncomfortable at some fanart showing up out of the blue, or someone making a source related joke... You're kind of just expected to brush it off. Which yeah, I get it! It's about the source, not me, but it's still just... A weird feeling. A feeling of not being allowed to be upset because it's about the source and not literal you.
I think there needs to be a line, maybe. Not saying that fictives should be putting a stop to any media or fandom ever, just.. That maybe respect toward us for being uncomfortable with fan content due to being a fictive or fictionkin should be more normalised. It should be more okay to say "hey, I'm Character, please don't joke like that" to a friend, or "don't send me fanart of this thing, I'm Character and that's weird"--which it normally is! But there does tend to be a sort of layer of "Oh, it's because you're Character. You know that's not you, right? You shouldn't be upset, you need to source separate more."--when if most other people were to set a boundary like that, it would usually be respected. Source separation can be great, but if someone hasn't separated or doesn't want to, why is it okay to still send them material they're uncomfortable with--or at least, why do people tend to argue that the fictive should "just separate from source" instead? It... Just boils down to alterhumisia toward fictionfolk, honestly. It sucks.
There's a lot of problems with basic respect toward fictionfolk of all kinds--hell, even in the alterhuman community where it's meant to be safe. I don't know if this rant is entirely coherent or not, I don't know if there's anything noteworthy to take from it--but if you do take something from it, let it be that fictionfolk want to be treated like people. Source separated, not source separated, canon divergent or compliant, hearted, linker, 'kin or 'tive--we're people. Don't let our identities change the way you instinctually treat us. Let us be openly us, and treat us as you would anyone else.
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noblecorgi · 2 months ago
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2024: A Re-Entry to Fandom
I guess this is a thing? (Oh shit this brackets bit was written at the end and I appear to have emotionally vomited an essay. Sorry ‘bout that.)
In late 2023 I experienced a personal tragedy and retreated to where I had always found comfort: books.
I read a series that had been recommended to me before, but I hadn’t had time to read it - The Simon Snow Trilogy by @rainbowrowell and it awoke a dormant-but-never-forgotten love of fanfiction in me.
In my teens and early 20s I wrote a lot of fan fiction on the ol’ FF net, all of it of atrocious quality I’m certain, which is why I haven’t tried to rediscover that account.
Instead I found AO3, and restarted regularly writing for fun instead of for work or study/research.
I didn’t do any summation for 2023 because I think my first fic was posted on like 10 December 2023, but AO3 tells me I wrote 4 works, all SnowBaz, at a total of 55,154 words.
In 2024, I’ve published 5 works, at a total of 94,323 words.
What truly blows me away (and honestly makes me a bit teary) is the 1013 kudos, 100 subscribers (inc 15 subscribers to just me rather than a fic!), and 222 comment threads on my works. 🥹
So: my 2024 works.
Use your words, SnowBaz, Rated: E, 3,930 words
A smutty lil gift fic wherein Baz teaches Simon how to sext.
Splendid Morons, SnowBaz, Rated: E, 12,886 words
Published for Erotic Grope Fest, aka Baz’s birthday. A collaboration with @alexalexinii and a story written to enable their amazing art of Baz in lingerie.
Precious to me for not only getting to work with Alex, but also for being the beginning of my relationship with Becky @rbkzz, my incomparable beta who has become one of the dearest people in my life.
On The Rocks, SnowBaz, Rated: E, 74,592 words (WIP)
My opus, as it were. It originated from a fluffy cute prompt of “what if Baz and Lady Ruth were work besties?!” And I came along like “YEAH! But with trauma, exploration of love in mental illness, and alcoholism!”
I began posting it in March and it’s about 2/3 done now. But for Becky it would be both an absolute pile of horse poop, and an abandoned WIP. Instead it has a clear direction and she found motifs that I’d repeatedly used by accident in my drafts and built imagery, greater meaning, and also debated me ad nauseam on my preference for spelt over spelled.
Immune Response, @lumosinlove’s Cubs, Rated: G, 1,421 words
I was a big consumer of WolfStar in my teens and was recommended Lumosinlove’s Sweater Weather and, like many before me, fell in love with the story, the original characters, and ice hockey itself (much to the surprised glee of my Canadian spouse, who for a decade has tried in vain to get me on board. Little did he know the key was obviously gays.)
This is a lil’ slice of life sick fic examining how each of the Cubs responds to getting sick.
I have a lot more unpublished drabbles about these characters and some fics that are being cocreated so stay tuned for 2025?
Preliminary, my dear Basil, SnowBaz, Rated: T, 1,494 words
A gift fic for @martsonmars as part of the Carry On Discord’s Secret Snowflake Exchange.
Among their suggestions was “Sherlock AU, but not BBC Sherlock, 19th century Sherlock” and it hooked me with the idea that Baz would absolutely fancy himself as Sherlock. I actually sketched out a plot to SnowBazify 4 of the Holmes stories, so maybe 2025 will see them unearthed.
There is one other published fic I worked on this year, but as a beta rather than a writer for @swoopswrites @rsbigbang piece Class A which was super fun to do (and got me to watch a great series - The Gentlemen on Netflix) and Swoops has a fantastic mind so I’d encourage you to to check it out.
Finally, I have always been a writer rather than an artist, but I do enjoy drawing, and the need to upgrade my iPad for work arose and so I also tried my hand at drawing again for the first time since I was 17 or so.
In order from the first one to the most recent one, the lil scribbles I did this year:
Penelope Bunce, Wolfstar on a train, Baz with coffee, cuddly Cubs, FinnLo being adorable, iconic Moony with a cane, emo Sirius Black.
And THAT was 2024 (and 2023).
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@artsyunderstudy @asocialpessimist @angelsfalling16 @whatevertheweather @edenalix @emjaydellyone @erzbethluna @emeryhall @run-for-chamo-miles @raenestee @rimeswithpurple @roomwithanopenfire @thehoneyedhufflepuff @theearlgreymage @thewholelemon @lonleyhumanbeing @letraspal @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @youarenevertooold @iamamythologicalcreature @ichooseyousnowbaz @ic3-que3n @ileadacharmedlife @onepintobean @palimpsessed @prettygoododds @philaet0s @pacey-bunce-loves-joey @sorenphelps @skee3000 @stitchy-queerista @fiend-for-culture @facewithoutheart @fruitcoops @girlwithcurls96 @hushed-chorus @hihimissamericanbi @cutestkilla @cosmicalart @confused-bi-queer @noopienoopiernoopiest @messofthejess @monbons
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nekropsii · 10 months ago
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re: the misconception poll
can you clarify what you mean when you say "Dirk being uniquely mentally ill and not just 16 and isolated"?
i'm not sure i'm following the entire point
Most of Dirk’s issues can be summarized with “16 year old”, “isolated”, and/or “Prince of Heart”.
People tend to make him “uniquely severely mentally ill” by religiously professing that he is the worst off and either making him cut to the bone and/or straight up just putting him in an asylum. He’s often singled out as the most mentally ill Homestuck character, and when you question why, it’s always the most overblown shit you’ve ever seen. You wind up with takes like “Dirk is schizophrenic and only drinks flat sodas because the carbonation whispers terrible things to him” and people will just, like, nod along to that, and then keep adding onto it to make it progressively more and more severe.
The way Dirk’s mental illness is treated is often just a little bit nauseating, but not in a fun way. It feels oddly fetishistic a nonzero amount of the time. If I may be petty, the way some people handle Dirk is basically the Homestuck fandom’s equivalent to that brand of Yandere fetishism that’s literally just a deeply uncomfortable and inaccurate portrayal of BPD. It just kind of gives me the ick.
Is he mentally ill? Yeah. Is turning making a 16 year old boy’s mental illness catastrophically worse into a voyeuristic sport just kinda weird and creepy? Also yeah.
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nymph-ette111 · 6 months ago
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pls write Simon henriksson headcanons I’m gnawing at the walls of my enclosure 👩‍🦲
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WARNINGS; SUBSTANCE ABUSE (SMOKING/DRUGS) MENTIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS (DEPRESSION/ANXIETY) MENTIONS OF INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY, UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS (SELF-HARM)
AUTHOR'S NOTE; FIRST CRY OF FEAR REQUEST LET'S FUCKING GOOOO !1!1!1!1!1!!1!! kind of short, still new to the fandom so my headcanons of the characters might change overtime.
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-it was confirmed that Simon is a fan of heavy metal and DSBM :3 personally I am not an avid listener of this genre, I think it's pretty cool. I'd like to headcanon specific bands that I think are suiting for Simon but I barely know anything so I don't really have a say on this.
-probably has some sort of internalized misogyny. he grew up all alone, his mother being quite overprotective didn't help with that at all and seeing no mentions of his father in the game makes me think his parents were divorced quite early in Simon's life. being exposed to such settings at a young age might have messed with his perception of love and healthy romantic relationships. despite that, he doesn't care much about gender norms now that he's older. left that mindset long ago.
-picked up on his coping mechanisms in his early teens. he was a bit scared at first of trying something like self-harm, it took him him a lot of time and internal conflict but then decided to just fuck it, he had nothing to lose. felt guilty at first, dropped it for a bit and then picked up on it again. he knows it isn't a healthy way to deal and cope with his negative thoughts but he couldn't care less at that point.
-isn't unfamiliar with drugs but not that crazy about it. not as much as cigarettes, although he does it occasionally, he could still smoke like a pack in one sitting if the situation really called for it. usually just sticks to 2-3 cigs, thinks it's a good enough amount.
^ can you tell I have no idea what I'm talking about.
-you'll never get that crusty ass grey hoodie of his off of him. it's like a cartoon where the character's never change outfit throughout the entire show. besides the fact that it's a literal video game, even in his daily life he almost never switches things up. not necessarily dirty, just worn out and stained with stuff that doesn't want to come off no matter how many times he washes it.
-has a mini fridge full of energy drinks in his room. and by full I mean like two cans because the rest have been consumed and thrown somewhere onto the ground.
-cannot save money for the life of him. as soon as he gets his hands on some cash, it's immediately spent on either a pack of cigarettes or some useless shit. he doesn't even remember what he spends it on, it's just gone.
-hadn't picked up his camera in quite a while, he's slowly loosing grip on his interests. not necessarily because he is starting to dislike them, just doesn't have the motivation.
-but it's usually full of recordings of him on the train, lonely streets of Stockholm or some stray cat that has grown a liking to Simon for some odd reason.
-one time Sophie took his camera without telling him and recorded a small video of herself, just doing something simple like a peace sign or showing off a little doodle she drew in her notebook. despite trying his best to move on, he watches that video from time to time.
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beanjang-draws · 1 year ago
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Plague Ponies — Masterpost
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Plague Ponies is my go at an MLP Infection AU! inspired by the wave of new MLP horror content on TikTok.
Relevant tags:
#Plague Ponies: infection au posts
#Plague polls: polls related to plague ponies
#pony posting: general mlp posts
Read more for additional information :3
Plague Ponies will be a little bit of a slow-burn, focusing on character interactions when the stakes are much higher than they were during most of the show.
This is a grimdark, so things will get a little grim, a little dark. The standard blood, death, gore, body horror, and toxic situationships. There will be doomed yuri, corruption arcs, redemption arcs, regression arcs, and lots of angst.
What I will NOT be including in this series:
• Sexual/birth horror (rape, necrophilia, infant death, infant mutilation, graphic depictions of abortion, forced pregnancy)
• Mental illness diagnoses in character profiles (and no “insanity meters” or uses of common mlp grimdark “classics” such as Cupcakes-esque Pinkimina, crazy Twilight, Little Miss Rarity, etc.)
While I love dark, psychological horror, I want to treat these characters with integrity and not rely on shock value. I love the infection aus I’ve been seeing, but too many of them veer into being distasteful for the sake of nostalgia or something. I personally think we’ve grown past that phase of the fandom.
The first half of Plague Ponies will be focusing on Ponyville, taking place shortly after season 4, episode 7 (Bats!), focusing on the Mane Six and various background characters shown throughout the show. I created this wanting to explore character personalities, but everything is based on my own interpretation of the characters, so it may be a little different from someone else’s vision of the show.
While I will feature some characters from later seasons in the show, I didn’t really watch it regularly after season 4, so later editions to the Ponyverse may not show up. Sorry Tirek.
As I upload I’ll edit this post and link the “episodes” so it’s all in one place.
Thanks for reading :3
Season 1
Episode 1: Break-time
Episode 2: Research
Episode 3: At the Barn
Episode 4: In the Orchard
Episode 5: Obligations
Episode 6: Duty-bound
NEXT UP:
Episode 7: Girls Night In
Episode 7.5: Star-Crossed Encounter
Episode 8: Test Results
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