#this doesnt make sense bc its 3am

[entering--hyperspace]

Thinking about how Leo has like literally all his life had to play the cards he was dealt. He only starts rising through the ranks due to a chance encounter with Rytlock who saw something interesting enough in him to take notice and start favoring him directly. He only joins the pact because Bangar placed him there for the ulterior motive of having a Tribune who wasn't a loose canon in a growing order, receiving their intel whole keeping an eye on them. He is Chosen by Aurene to be her champion, he is given a more prominent position as a reliable person because the commander faked her death and they looked to him to fill in the void even if he didn't want to, he was the obvious second choice. When I start thinking about how quieter moments It becomes more obvious why hes so uncertain, hesitant, or defensive about things in regards to stuff like raising Aurene, being in a relationship, or otherwise existing outside of the context he was put in. Sieran's death fucked him up severely Because he was given/made the choice to join the priory, he took that path all on his own and it ended with someone so new to life and the world dying.

He's such a cog in the war machine that can't stop turning and doesn't know how to do anything but turn but daydreams about a fantasy where he has a normal life and hopes desperately if he tries hard enough and if he plays these cards well enough he can force the wheel to turn the way he wants it to. It's quite literally the only option that exists in his mind, but it also kinda explains why he clings so hard for his love of necromancy and spirit communication because those are the other smaller parts of his life he chose for himself and actively does for the enjoyment of it.

[jellycreamjammedart]

I said something like this once but it bears repeating:

There's nothing soul-sucking and frustrating in the same way as having to help uncooperative and stubborn boomers with technology

Sincerely, a millenial who literally can't do anything (including eating/sleeping) without being bothered by boomer mom with her phone

[saltymothball]

my unpopular takes on beetlejuice beetlejuice SPOILERS!! (long post)

(i am a fan of the original pls do not come for me) these are just my thoughts on the sequel :D please feel free to add yours too

context! im writing these notes as i watch so theyre a little disorganized

for reference i also rewatched the original immediately prior to the sequel

not opening with the classic beetlejuice muisic ?? even the stage show opens with that music where is it (EDIT- restarted it and it actually does open w the music, but it is much less fun/campy an and more of a spooky remix so i forgot)

its not plot necessary but i do wish we learned how BJ fixed his shrunken head and death by sandworm

where are the maitlands ???? 0 mention of adam and barbra at the beginning ?

BJ's ex wife intro was a very creative concept but i wish they did it with more sfx props and less cgi/green screen

Astrid is like very boring, theyve done nothing to get the audience (me) invested in her?? disney wish vibes like who is she

call it a headcanon i feel like lydia wouldnt be this fucking awkward of a parent ?? she had good role models ie adam and barbra (even if her own parents werent as active, by the end of the original movie it implied they were now living in a healthy family dynamic

the mother daughter drama feels really forced, reminds me of the out-of-place tension between wednesday and morticia in the 2023 show

all angles are super close up and feel like horror angles. the scene where astrid befriends that boy ?? felt like someone was gonna come up and kill them the ENTIRE interaction (edit i guess that makes sense but it nerfed the scene)

IMMEDIATELY knew his parents are dead btw. not showing their faces is so clearly they are dead. not an ounce of mystery. theory the boy might be a ghost too?

theory astrids dad isnt dead bc Lydia cant see him

the witching hour wrong ?? last i knew it was 3am not 12am. weird thing to get wrong

its like not a silly campy vibe ?? its like uncomfortable.

dont like lydias new man hes pushy and gross

i miss adam and barbra

it doesnt make sense that no one taking lydia seriously ? delia knows she can see ghosts and has also experienced beetlejuice

lydias fiance is a horrid excuse for a partner (how tf did she meet him like did he just walk in bc the plot needed another person to hate lydia

not the dead protester joke :(

the spill-your-guts/pregnancy felt really idk,,, icky??? dont know how to explain it but it uncomfortably long

follow up- a lot of the visual ghost gags felt very gross/gorey ? like in the original movie the gags were inbetween silly/sexual/spooky-but this one feels more like blood and guts instead of spiders and snakes. exhibit A) otho casually shoving corpse barbra out of the way when looking at the closet with delia / exhibit b) the guy with the cigarettes at the end of the original

theory that astrid is going to end up seeing ghosts by the end of the movie

love the "eeee!" noise BJ makes when people say his name

ok BJ with the guitar after lydia tells him off was legitimately funny

i know astrid is an angsty teen but my god she is so hostile towards lydia

calling it at 56mins the boys parents are SO dead bc they deliberately didnt have lydia meet them

listen i have nothing against jenna ortega but it feels like she is type-casted to play exactly one character now, like let the girl play something other than a monotone gothy teen

"they found a loophole and moved on" okay whatever that means

astrids awkwardness w this ghost boy is pretty cute. he is so definitely a ghost though

yup called it hes a ghost

"my mom was telling the truth... shit" lmao

this boy feels very sus bc why are you trying to bribe her w her father

still no info on how lydia and rory met ??

MURDER HOUSE ?? TH BOY IS A MURDERER ??? okay thats a good twist ill give them that

astrid going into the afterlife to see her dad feels very "lydia going to the afterlife to see her mom" plot from the stage show ?

astrid honey you have too much faith in this ghost boy

oh my fucking god delia did you really get poisonous snakes....so on brand for her

Beetlegeuse literally carrying the whole movie

every scene he's in is absolutely giving

william dafoe is pretty good too but adding him just feels like he is william dafoe and not the character hes playing (who is also an actor)

delia correcting herself from saying fuck is really funny like girl was that scripted

okay ok astrd seeing her dad working in immigration was pretty neat

i had actually forgotten abt BJs ex wife until now ? doesnt seem like she actually adds much to the story beyond giving BJ a new reason to pursue lydia... which he was already doing...?

are they all going to end up in the afterlfe wtf

the afterlife desert takes place on the fucking moon of saturn ?? okay

is it just me or is the sandworm not claymation... like maybe its just the way it looks but i swear it looks like they cgi'd it but then cut down the frame rate

damn lydias husband really got eaten by piranhas.. what a way to die oh my god

there was no real stakes to astrid switching her soul? they resolved that so fast like lydia just grabbed her and they ran

oh their husband/dad is back now everything is fixed...? like all that hate towards her mom is now gone bc her mom was telling the truth about seeing ghosts? dad just resolved the only conflict

beetlejuice didnt even help get astrid back he went on a pee break and the plot progressed

love bad cop william defoe

"are you filled with fear and trembling?" "yes im shitting my pants" absolutely gold

BJ on fetchquests this whole movie fr

the soul sucking lady please she ate bobs nametag :(

ok wtf they really solved ghost boy dilemma in 5 seconds, BJ ex machina... like he rlly just got him like that ??? anticlimactic

ok good astrid apologized for being a shitty kid

rory please stop kissing lydias neck

i kind of hate the modern nods like the self securing seatbelt in the priests car, or the influencers at the wedding, really weird unnecessary detail

BJ and Delia wedding crashers my fav

how did Beetlejuice get into the church ? if he is a demon like previously established, shouldnt he NOT be able to step on holy ground

enjoyed the slapstick moment of lydia punching rory, good moment

her red dress omg !! pretty

BJ himself is just too funny, making the priest sing top tier

i still miss adam and barbra :( if they can cgi that dead guy in star wars i think we couldve brought alec baldwin and geena davis who are in fact still very alive and look great

they really didnt make me interested in BJs ex wife other than she is pretty and looks like morticia addams ?

BJ making everybody partake in singing is very silly

everybody dancing at the wedding scene must have been fun to film, everybody looks like theyre jamming

lmao whos dog was that in the hallucinations ?? is that the dog who killed the maitlands

"ghoul squad" ok monster high

oh finally his ex is here

lydia so casually pushed out of the way lmao

why does BJ have more etherial powers than every other ghost?

offering rory to the soul sucking lady is so good

theyre really just gonna sandworm for the plot resolution again ???

his ex wife was a threat for all of 4 seconds

lol the legal marriage loophole was kinda funny

is delia like forever dead ? is she a ghost now? is beetlejuice dead?

i still love delia. "i will find charles and we will haunt you both" good for her

are the influencer wedding guests dead

everything got wrapped up very quickly

good on delia for still loving her husband even though that shark absolutely annihilated him

what ?? astrid is married now???

WHAT ??? SHES GIVING BIRTH ?????

oh ok its a dream

having a second pregnancy bit felt really weird

they alluded to another sequel :(

please remember i am actually a huge fan of beetlejuice !! no hate to the franchise these are just my personal opinions on the sequel. i would love to hear your thoughts as well !!

[tchaikovskaya]

this is very tangential so i will just put it in a separate unrebloggable post here lmao but

one thing (which is coming up Bigly wrt this Issue) that has continued to bother me is something ive noticed about an uncomfortable number of people's lack of emotional intelligence (? idk how else to say it but i feel thats not quite it) specifically their apparent refusal to take peoples intentions into account when theyre analyzing interpersonal conflicts.

like okay to give an example thats not related to IPV. (and yeah i know this subreddit is a far cry from an outstanding example of healthy human emotion and social mentality etc etc etc lmao but bear with me)

there was this one post on the AITA subreddit not too long ago that was basically like "i want a child free wedding. teenagers are okay. all of my niblings are 13+ except for my sister's baby who is a baby, like <18mo. all my niblings are thus invited except my sister's baby. my sister is refusing to come to my wedding if she cant bring her kid. my entire side of the family is in a tizzy about it. i wont budge. AITA for getting mad at my sister for turning this into a huge thing?"

and the replies were all like "yes you're the asshole, an invitation isnt a summons sweatie [one of their fave lines lmao] ;)))) uwu you invited her but she doesnt HAVE to come!" like okay yeah thats fine and dandy if she doesnt want to come lmfao but the issue is that the sister is clearly not UNWILLING to go to the wedding, she very much WANTS to go to the wedding but insists on bringing her baby, and her entire family is coming down hard on the bride ON THE SISTERS BEHALF for not making this exception, its not just that shes declining to come its that shes using her whole fukcing family as leverage to pressure the bride into making this allowance!!!! shes not ACTUALLY refusing to come, she has every intention of eventually coming once the bride inevitably caves bc of course she will. Shes fucking clearly being petulant because she's depending on the bride folding and the bride wont, and thats why everyone is upset! at the bride and not at the sister for being stubborn as a mule and making the whole thing about her and her damn baby instead of letting it go and accepting that shes gonna be staying at home !!!!

idk if this even makes any sense at this point lmao its 3am but just like. the insistence that everything happens in a vacuum and we all act according to free will and there are never any external social pressures on us influencing what we are and are not willing to tolerate when dealing with other people. its all just so fucking frustrating idk lmao !!!!

[hearteyedbunny]

3 for all your ships!! Aand 6,9 13 and 14 for anyone you want :)

oh god hi hello. putting this under a read more bc it got long

What would their song to each other be?

i dont have an answer for ALL my ships but, heres just a few. and these are more like...songs that describe their dynamic or make me think of them if that makes sense!

danse/art - put your head on my shoulder by paul anka. this song isnt necessarily fitting to their dynamic, but...i always come back to this song bc it makes me think of the soft, more calm and sweet moments between these two. i can picture them listening to it and slow dancing clumsily together, whether theyre a lil drunk or completely sober i dont know, but it always puts that image in my head and makes me happy.

shane/elfie - froot by marina. listen. this song is just straight up longing/horny from elfie's pov and i love it. this song is just fun and i like thinking about how BADLY she wants this dumb lil guy. thats her man and shes gonna TAKE him. also this song slaps.

shane/me - loser by charlie puth. UGH THIS SONG. THIS SONG. i feel so self indulgent when i listen to this song. thinking about shane longing for me and wanting me when im with my other f/os. his jealousy and anger and self loathing is just in hyper drive when he sees me with danse or arthur or whoever. i love torturing my husband <3

What small quirks do they love about each other?

i'll do this for shane/elfie. hmm...shane likes how emotive elfie is sometimes. she plays with her hair when shes nervous, she talks with her hands, she wiggles/wags her tail when shes excited or curious.

i...am blanking on any little quirks shane has im so sorry.

How did they know they were right for each other?

can i answer this for danse/me!!!! because like. god. i remember before i played fo4 i would watch my bf play it and he had danse as his companion a lot and. i just started watching him play more and more bc i started to feel IMMEDIATELY safe and protected by danse. my crush on him was instant. i started thinking about danse more and more. i barely even knew him yet but i felt so infatuated and longed for him. it just felt good right away, and i knew he was right for me. my love for him is unconditional and i hope he feels safe around me too. im sure thats how he knows im right too, he doesnt have to be or do anything different, he can just be himself and i'll love him regardless. even if hes a shit head sometimes <3

How do they express their feelings (Words, visual art, a song, etc.)?

answering for danse/art. neither of them are very good with words. danse is a very "acts of service" type of person. if art has a piece of equipment or something that needs fixing, danse already has it jotted down in his head to fix it later. art doesnt even have to ask, danse is already on it and tinkering with art's gun or armor or whatever.

meanwhile, art is very touchy if hes close with someone. he used to be better with expressing his feelings thru words, but it got hard after everything he went thru. so he sometimes just touches danse on his shoulder, his arm, his back, or holds his hand when he needs attention. danse had to get used to being touched all the time, but now he picks up on when art needs something or is trying to express something because he'll just give danse little touches or stand/sit close enough that theyre touching in some way.

Where would they go on a 3am adventure?

this screams shane/elfie. elfie calls shane at 3 am asking if he wants to come over. hes like elfie, its 3 am, why. she says she misses him and she wants to see him. he absolutely cannot say no to her so hes throwing on his sweats and jacket and booking it to her farm. i think theyd just chill together, so not really...much of an adventure. but i can also see her calling him up being like "wanna go explore that cave on my farm? :)" and hes like. what the fuck, but okay.

[jackiedaytona]

okay idk much about horror stuff bc I am a pansy but I do know a lot about being very deadpanned and odd as a child so imagine its kind of like the scene with steve and dustin where they’re walking through the woods but instead of baiting an eldritch monster, hes getting dragged to a graveyard to dig up someone’s dead pet

hes awakened by the feeling of eyes on him.

sam is standing not too far from the end of his side of the bed, knocking his foot off the bed when he notices that steve is up.

“come on” sam harshly whispered , “i need you to take me to the graveyard”

“TO THE GRAVE-“ a shush from sam and groan from henry shuts him quickly. steve points to the door and sam understands immediately

“why do you need to go to a graveyard in the middle of the night!” steve whisper yells.

“he’s up” sam offers nothing else. nothing but a quick pace to the doorway sliding into his boots he never ties and picking up steve’s keys. looking between the bedroom door and the front door left open steve makes a decision to follow after sam and ask questions later. he doesnt need henry waking up panicking about his kid running off in the middle of the night, especially to a graveyard.

with a huff, begrudgingly stuffing his feet into his slippers (house shoes be damned).

sam already parked himself in the front passenger seat, his music playing way too loud, as if its a regular day and not the middle of the night.

“finally! hes probably dead again already”

it all feels like really weird dream. hes driving on a shitty dirt road through the woods to go to a graveyard because his boyfriend’s son told him to. steve’s waiting for the faceless monsters to come out to fully commit to the strangeness.

and sam… Sam is not saying a goddamn thing. no explanation, no slips of information. just telling steve where to turn.

“can i at least ask…” steve trailed off when fixed sam’s sharp gaze on him

“you get one question”

“who is ‘he’?”

“binx” he said it like it was common sense. ahh yeah we’re going to see binx at the graveyard @ 3am what else would we be doing

“you have your shovel right?”

“my shovel?”

“you used all your questions. yes or no?”

“i never had a shovel…i have a bat?”

“great steve! gonna beat a hole in the ground.”

“im sorry, i didnt know i would grave digging anytime soon. i’ll be better prepared for next time”

“see look a quick learner too! and they say youre just a pretty face” sam said with a sarcastic smile “it should be fine he doesnt feel that big so maybe hes not that deep in. nothing a big stick and rock cant do” he continued, mumbling mostly to himself

sam walks off on his own analyzing every stick and stonehenge, steve following close behind him (its one thing to take sam in the middle of the night but to lose him too, he might as well stay at the yard)

“what are we looking for?”

“i answered that already” walking closer to the end of the graveyard, where it started to bleed into the woods. steve was starting to regret not having a flashlight

it wasnt until sam stopped by some loose dirt that looked like it was breathing. “fuck fuck fuck i got you little buddy dont worry” it came out rushed a worried. the most empathetic steve has ever heard sam sound. it worried him the usually quiet and deadpanned teen sounded on the edge of tears. wordlessly, steve rushed off to help dig up the dirt with his bare hands.

they had dug until steve saw a small black paw. moving more frantically when a weak cry was heard, sam tried moving the dirt from around the animal to give more space to move around. few minutes of waiting and the cat was crawling its way up. slowly and gently, sam had coaxed the whimpering cat onto his laps, laying calming pets on its head.

the cat was small and all black, had a weird face; missing left eye and tattered ear, the left side of his face was furless in general. The cat was shaking but not frightened, “hey uh..” breaking the tense silence “i have a sweater in the backseat of the car, do you uh…do you think he’s cold” steve had offered, just wanting to help.

there was a beat of silence, before sam attempted to stand up without disturbing the the cat, “that’ll be great actually” he said softly, all of his attention focused on the cat.

a quiet walk back to the car, steve opens the front door to help sam in and then goes through the back to grab his hoodie from the backseat. “do you need anything else while we’re out?”

“i dont think anything is open right now… but binx will need some food soon” another duration of silence before steve piped up again.

“can i at least know what just happened?” before sam could respond steve interrupted with, “and no more evading answers. you woke me up to go get a dead cat. i at least should know what is happening”

“…binx wasnt on his last life. i felt him come back alive again and needed to make sure he was okay.” the cat was now asleep, bundled up in the sweater and in sam’s arms.

“does henry know about this…cat resurrection thing youre doing”

“of course. he usually helps nurse them back to health and we take them to shelters so they can find families again” the smallest but most genuine smile steve has ever seen flashed on sam’s face before it was back to his usual stony, impassive state. “do we have eggs at home binx will need some protein”

“yeah yeah sure…” steve was unsure how to take the answer. on one hand it still felt like a weird dream and the other he was still too tired to tired to question whether sam was bullshitting him or not. what truly outdid him for the night was when he heard sam start to coo at the cat.

sam softly baby talking to the cat, “and maybe some bread, you came back from the dead you deserve a little special treat” bewildered but not entirely sure hes surprised by the turn this night had taken steve pulled into his parking spot.

“im going to take him to my room, can you get started on boiling like 2 eggs” not taking his eyes off the cat he walked up to the door and waited for steve to open it.

steve went into the bathroom to wash the dirt off his hands before going back to the kitchen to grab a pot and eggs and got that started. the need for sleep started to settle in but if he stayed in the kitchen. sam came back looking in the cabinet for a bowl, choosing some tupperware and filling it with water, he wordlessly went back to his room

this turned out way longer than i thought it was going to be sorry and sorry for any mistakes.

oh my god anon i Love it thank you for sharing

bonding with your boyfriend's son through his hobby of resurrecting pets. also you mentioned sam just standing over them while they sleep, and i've always thought of that as a staple of the horror-ish aus, where steve wakes up to this creepy kid just Staring at him in the middle of the night and jumps a foot in the air while henry is like "aw. hey baby. you wanna sleep in here?"

the next morning, after their little impromptu fieldtrip, steve's pretty groggy, sipping what he knows will be the first of multiple coffees. sam isn't paying him any more attention than he usually does (which is none) and he'd be convinced it was all a strange dream if it weren't for the cat purring in his lap.

"good morning," henry says, rounding into the kitchen and immediately spotting the cat, "oh, binx is up. why didn't you get me last night?"

"you said you had a headache," sam mutters back and steve can see his boyfriend soften.

"sweet boy," he murmurs, wrapping his arms around sam and pressing his cheek against his hair (only person who's ever been allowed to do something like that), "but i don't want you going out by yourself in the middle of the night."

"i didn't," sam says, "steve was with me."

"oh, he was?" henry says, sparing a glance for his boyfriend before turning back to his son, "and did you tell him thank you?"

steve can see sam sigh a little before actually looking at him for the first time all morning.

"thank you, steve."

steve mutters back a soft welcome, more interested in watching henry smile and press a kiss against the crown of sam's head before pulling away. he's sort of convinced that he's actually still in a dream, that he never woke up and it's just ongoing, but when henry presses a kiss against his lips and murmurs his own thanks for taking care of his boy, he decides he doesn't mind.

[gayspock]

the spiral 🤨

its like it hits the 3am mark and i start to lose it i think. who said that ive been losing it non-stop. whatever. i dontknow. i feel like screaming a little bit. anyone elsefeel like this. im just sort of tired now and have been for the past few days. i feel insanity spike up again when i think too hardabout how it doesnt matter over andover again. theres never a resolution theres never any relief it just shuts up cuz ur so fried you cant even think straight any more or cuz of whatever. i'llshut up for a few more months it'll happen again i cant ever findanything or help myself no matter how hard i try i keep trying it means nothing its worthless as it always was and as you know it is and continues to be and people say its not worthless youre not trying hard enogh youre not doing it long enough. its all i am at this point its all ive ever been its nothing but that/ its the onlyfucking thing in my head and nobody fuckingbelieves it because you cant be serious you havent done it enough nobody can be that fucking hopeless but youre proving it all to be truewith the fact you wont even swallow it . i dont know. i think about how sometimes you cant even have that. ifeel like im nothing but a joke all thetime. and people think so little of me, iknow they do. i dont thinkanyone hasnt ever thought much of me and i jsut get so angry every time someone tries to make an example out of it bc they do nothing but prove me irght but im not evenallowed to fucking say it orim a bitch. i wish it mattered i wish i could jsut say things to people everyones like be fucking truthful but dont be in the way that you actually mean bc we dont likke it we dont like you i think theres projections that people think they like but . i feel fucking crazy everytime im so fucking . fucking upset but im not doing enough its never enough what i can do and i dont know thats not even the point the point is icantkeep doing it i cant keep myself afloat . i can cry this over and overagain i just want a break or jsut one thing to feel okay or right just for a second. i

i dont know sorry the therapy thing again i thinkthe classic "im more mentally illt han you" vibe i feel so often this patronising fucking. energy from others who somehow manage toperceive me this specific fucking niche i exist in when im upset where im jsut such a fucking laughable joke even when its the rock bottom and eveyrthing im thinking andfeeling is so trivial and i just need to do it better to try it harder that im not fucking doing it well enough that i give up so easy that im forcing myself into it that its anyone of these things theres apart of me that just wants to beg down on my knees like pelase just for fucking once please think im a person and its rather pathetic i think abotuthis to everyone i feel like im going crazy i wishi was a person i feel so unreal i wish i existed fully in apersons life i wish itwasnt stretches of nothing of nothing and nothing and fucking screens all the time and still nothing in thosefor the majortiy of the time too i wish i wasnt so far away i wish i wasnt the afterthought i wish i could feel like i existed and properly did exist but i cant ever seem to latch on as i am i cantdo anything as i am and i try and it doesn twork i try to be me i try to be content keep trying everything it never makes sense im not trying enoughstill i dont know i dont know what its worth and even if its achievable it doenst feel like it means anything ay more i cant keep doing this and for what i keep spending every day i feel like every ounce of my life for he better part of a decade is just trying to keep my fuckig head on my shoulders and its not fucking sustainable but what else is there and im meant to betrying harder to be getting better theres nothing i can do im genuinely fucking alone and people dont like to hear it and im genuinely fucking hopeless and there is no way out and i cant evenf ucking have that thought ifeel nuts i hate myself so much

and i feel myself becoming more rancid every dayi will admit no matter how much i try to stop myself. really sharp fucking pangs of anger and upset at fucking everything that i cant fucking suffocate and its getting harder not to lash out at fucking everyone for every little fucking thing bc it sets me off and i cant just get a fucking grip but i dont know i wish there was something more susbtantial for once than just that and just this but also what does it even matter any more liek it mattered in the firstplace and im not just being delusional. whatever whatever its os stupid its so fucking humiliating how upset ive been getting i jsut keep crying over everything because i cant have anything i cant do anything keep trying to do things i try and i try and i try and its never meant anyhting i just feel so much spite and icant stop it its not fucking fair that people just exist and maybe theydont do it easily but they still manage todo something i feel so fucking alone people keep trlling me everyone feels alone feels isolated . so do they! but its not. that i hate being thatfucking asshole but its not that its not jsut the now its the fucking forever its the fundamental root cause theresosmething wrong with me it feels like i cant ive never not once felt like ive been seen i dontknow if i can even like peopel back at this point . people oh im so alone theysay butidont . i feel so fucking angry because theyve still managed to have had a partner or to have some sort of fucking companionship or family and i jsut sit. alone in the dark and i have done for years and no matter where i go ro what i do i keep trying i remember at uni i did try i did i tried to entrer circles but i just keep. falling to the wayside and i wish it was like i was rotted on the inide or i was trulky repulsive but i jus tthink theres nothing there i think theres nothing inside me to like i think i cant be anything and i think nobody wants nothing which is what i am and have been for such a long time bynow because i cant fucking piece anything together theres notihng . id ont know i keep thinking stupid things theres stupid things i keep crying about i thought about getting a cat or something that wouldnt fucking understand me enough for me to reject me but itd be unfair and unreasonable to try and bring anyhting into it my stupid fucking black hole existenc e how it wouldnt be realistic how nothing is its really embarrassing how fucking minute it is sometimes how such little things keep tipping me off i got angry i getupset everyone else has osmething or some interes tor something they can manage it with i cant find anything i think thats jst

part of it though i keep trying to find these threads out ii keep trying to find littlethings little hopes only to follow them through and just everything comescrashing down huge nos huge fuck yous it never fucking works out it never goes anywehre every time i try to get happy it just feelslike im slapped in the face and theres so many more thingsits nonstop its neverending theres not just one fucking thing to be happy about or to be proud about or to be satisfied with no matter what i do and it just feels so so ufcking insulting sometimes that you have to pretend it and force it up just to satisfy eeveryone else but i just cant do it i keep thinkign about it and i cant do it ive never done anyhting i can just feel like meant anything and its so embarrassing it sounds fucking melodramatic but its true and nobody will jsut . even let me have tha t and no one even fucking sees it happenign i just the onyl time when its not like this is actively trying to fucking disconnect myself form everything and lose mself in shit i still fucking hate but is manageable but thats going nowhere its nowhere its more nothing an d i dont know i feel like i used to thought it would matter if i kept blowing up like something could change but my head hurts so badl and i dont fucking care to pretend i fucking respect it either cuz they dont i just think i dont know im a stupid fucking cunt and i always have been and if ucking wish people would just say it to my face and theres a part of me that just fucking hates fucking everyone because who fucking cares what the fuck else can i even manage i cant if im never going tofucking anything to people why why i jsut need something for once i want to fucking hit someone so they can hit me back or fucking something so at least imreal even for a fucking second bleh bleh bleh beofrei realise even that i dont know i feel like m not serious enough whatever

[entering--hyperspace]

Cannot imagine whatever is going on through Mr Leonard Echowatcher's head. You spend your life yearning for a world where you lived differently, where the day wasnt soaked in war, blood, and battle. Where you could envision a future where you have a partner and a family with friends to live gracefully with. But then you are given such opportunities only to find you were never taught to be gentle, you have a gentle, empathetic nature and yet the physicality of it is a stranger to you. You are expected to raise a child with gentle hands so that she saves the world, What does that even mean? How can you accept your growing love for your friend when you were never taught how to love, that intimate love is a luxury best left forgotten, there are no need for such things in war. He has to learn to become the things he wanted bc he grew too old to develop it naturally. He becomes a father to taimi fumbling his way into learning how to care and parent, he is defensive of Aurene bc he is from a culture where they arent expected to raise their own young and yet has to do so with a dragon. It feels like a test, He has to prove both to others and to himself he is capable of being a father, of nuturing, that calloused, stained hands can still be gentle. He has to accept that love is a terrifying leap of faith in vulnerability in order to gain a partnership that is considered a rarity. I love the idea that he spent 30 years yearning for things he thought he would never have and when he is actually given those opportunities (albeit admittedly through unusual circumstances) he has to learn how to actually live in them, becuase they were always just Concepts until now. Ohhhh my god Mr. Leo you are my everything

[prosciuttoon]

ppl think it wasnt nice of him to leave her behind when:

1. she did sneak away on purpose, iirc i dont think she was there when they fought falin

2. izutsumi was so set on escaping the nakamotos, she would rather go on her own than be dragged back even if the alternative was more dangerous. death would be mercy compared to going back there. even when she first joined laios’ party she would consider going her own way even tho it was dangerous. i feel like izutsumis so determined shes a “ill do this or die trying” type of person

3. she was so open about wanting to escape the nakamotos, everyone (toshiro included) knew, so he made that decision w that in mind

under any other circumstance it would be a cruel and reckless decision. and to some degree IT STILL IS!!! bc its quite a gamble to hope she’d find her way w laios’ party’s help. but shes a smart kid, and a strong one, and it worked out, even tade was rooting for her! maybe he had faith in the touden party to help her, bc theyre kind people. and thanks to the anime’s new translation we see he knows izutsumi is capable of finding her way back IF SHE WANTS TO!

also to whomever it may concern it was not toshiro’s idea it was maizurus doing. he didnt even know (until recently) the shikigami was a curse that she originally put on him to babysit him!!

also i think abt this page a LOT bc his dad protecting him. hmmmm. where did the days go

sorry if this doesnt make sense its 3am and for some reason im not sleepy yet but theres no way these thoughts are coherent

while i feel like this new translation is pretty far from the original i think it was ultimately necessary for anime-onlys to get that kind of nuance from him that he was sympathetic of izutsumi's situation and knew she would not want to be dragged back to their home. which u would only get from seeing the extras and making interpretations. so # win i guess?

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

ok before i forget and the episode comes out im gonna just write down 4 my own sake what i think is gonna happen on tonights owl house episode (well technically tonights but i think id rather think abt it as tmrws bc it comes out at like 3am so ill watch it in the morning).

anyways most likely it begins like exactly where we left off anddd the collectors new game is this like dream sequence type shit w im assuming either like fucking idk. luzs biggest fears or how the collector views luz. or like both ? idk. but like her biggest fears bc i mean she sees herself as literally as bad as belos so thats im guessing like everyone else also thinks the her being in his clothes type shit. and then also that one scene with her friends all in like their old clothes kinda echoing that one season 1 ep 2 scene. im guessing the reason theyre in each of those clothes is bccc errr. well theyre not from the same time that much is clear.  id like to say theyre from the worst times of their life or whatever but that doesnt make sense 4 gus bc grom wasnt like. bad 4 him ? unless theyre all being forced into kinda roles like luz is too ? but that seems like it only rlly makes sense 4 amity n hunter bc hunters in his golden guard uniform n amitys just in her. Default Boiling Isle clothes ig ? which i GUESS could be like when she was around her mum ??? but then why not go full out and give her the green hair again ???? im just confused abt that part honestly unless it was to do w just significant parts of luzs life but then again why the fuck is gus in his grom outfit. anyways im obsessing 2 much over that one scene. er. ok um. anyways luz does this whole dream sequence thing for someee reason anddd. well belos n raine have their like fight im guessing. maybe bc likeeee idk eda does smth and we get some raeda angst maybe ??? and then bla bla belos possesses the titan oopsie doopsie. wait. wait ni that wouldnt rlly make sense. bc like the titans kinda fucked up. and we saw he couldnt possess grimwalker corpses anymore bc they were all fucked up n rotted. and the titan is likeeee loadsssss older than caleb so that wouldnt make sense. unless its like he can possess the body but cant move it much rlly beyond like environmental horror. like a humphrey omori type deal. except big humphrey is dead. and bones. and fucking hates air conditioning. and is a puritan. anyways errr yeah and thennnn eda n king becomee fuckinnn rabid n shit. king looks much bigger in that one scene tho so maybe he like becomes So Rabid he gets all titany n shit or whatever idfk. errrr. idk what like the hexquad n co would do. bc theres no way toh team would have time to give them all their own dream sequence stuff. and it wouldnt make sense bc the collector only rlly has it out for luz bc hes jealous of her for being besties w king. so like. idk. maybe they just like vibe. or hhave a big heart 2 heart moment. errrr. kindaaa hoping honestly that huntlow doesnt get a big like wow rainbows hearts scene like lumity did because having their sorta quiet understanding of mutual feelings feels more fitting for them yknow. but i wouldnt complain if they got smth big n obvious i just think itd be more fitting if they got smth sorta quiet and subtle. errr and thennnnn err fuckinnn. everyone comes together to save the day and kill belos and let that old man fuckin die already. and thennnn luz decides like fuck it we got a portal who says u cant live in 2 realms at once eda did it why the fuck wont u copy her. anddd they all lived happily ever after the end. oh andddd eda n camila meet n they do NOT have a mum fight because they both LOVE each othe because they both love LUZ and they are both GRATEFUL that the other took CARE of her and the end. oh and hooty becomes door again. the end part 2. and then disney blows up and everyone cheers and the end part 3.

[caruliaa]

in the alterante universe were s3+4 of cs are good im making a carmen yoyok amv right now

[panlyv]

i have one (1) ep of strangers from hell left and BRUH im THRILLED i Can't Imagine what's gonna be like i just know ep9 shot me Dead

[cuntstable]

Why... Would your videos only go on finnish tiktok?

unless im wrong like the stuff that ends up on an individual users fyp partly depends on that users language and location which is why like. for example non french speaking tiktok users almost never end up getting french tiktoks on their fyp despite there obviously being a lot of content creators from france on tiktok. its hard to break out of that even if your contents in english as long as you live in a non english speaking country which is why sometimes very rarely you see tiktoks where for seemingly no reason the comment section is all in a foreign language bc its primarily promoted to that countrys user population

[bedpissercastiel]

watch this *turns in the shittiest most worst written article youve ever read*

[cryptidmullet]

more renga hcs bc theyre all i think about

- reki always had to censor his swears bc of his little sisters so he comes up with alternatives like 'whizcrack' and 'sugarcicles' literally anything that comes to mind

- langa never really swore growing up either and after being around reki all the time he starts picking up and using made up swears too

- one of them will bail while trying a new trick and end up yelling 'schnizzlesnack' or some shit like that

- but also sometimes their brain doesnt catch up to what they're saying so they'll end up saying an actual word like cricket or cracker

- reki sucks at tying his shoes i don't have a reason for this but it's true he takes forever to do it

- reki had an obsession with dinosaurs when he was little and his mom kept a ton of drawings he did of them when he was younger and shows them to langa one day

- one of the drawings is of a plesiosaurus and its eloquently labeled "toast"

- one day rekis telling langa about how a lizard fell in his bowl of cereal when he was younger and langa is like "i had a standoff with a moose once" and rekis like you WHAT

- reki paints little designs on the twins' helmets when he starts teaching them how to skate

- langa got his ears pierced when he was 16 bc his mom wanted to get hers repierced since the holes had closed and he just decides to get them too

- they're just black studs and his hair usually covers his ears anyway

- but one time in the middle of class hes resting his head in his hand and his hair parts and reki sees the piercing and gets super flustered bc Holy Shit thats cute

- reki ends up asking him a ton of questions about it at lunch that day and spontaneously decides he too wants to pierce his ears

- so he recruits koyomi to help him do it since he figures if anyones willing to stab a hole in his ear its her

- she agrees and it ends up with reki sitting on the edge of the bathtub freaking the fuck out with a needle through his ear while koyomi freaks out with him and langa pretends not to laugh

- they end up having to get rekis mom to help but by some miracle reki ends up with two (definitely uneven) piercings and he feels epic

- langas favorite movie is die hard bc him and his parents used to watch it every christmas and he shows the movie to reki who ends up thinking bruce willis is the absolute coolest and watches a ton of movies hes in

- including the sixth sense which even tho its not all that scary freaks him out and he ends up texting langa at 3am asking if he thinks miya can see ghosts too

- gummy worms make reki hyper and langa always gets them for him when he stops at the store

- reki gets langa glow in the dark stars to put on his ceiling bc he thinks his room is too boring

- langa and his mom come over to the kyans' house for board games/cards once a month

- langa always wins uno but thats literally only bc of luck but it annoys the crap out of reki bc hes always on the receiving end of the +2 and +4s

- langas mom shows reki baby videos the first time they meet and langas embarrassed but doesnt really do anything bc he likes watching the videos of him and his dad too

- theres one of langa when hes like 7 years old dancing on his dads feet and it makes both langa and his mom tear up and before he leaves reki hugs both of them and thanks them for sharing that stuff with him

- langas mom adores reki

- also the first time nanako meets him she does one of those wide eye raised eyebrow oh ho ho looks at langa

- rekis mom thinks theyre dating and she'll randomly start vacuuming outside rekis room so she can peak in and make sure they're not doing anything "inappropriate"

- nanako and masae become besties and gossip about their sons

- all of rekis sisters love langa and the twins constantly cling onto his legs when he comes over

- at first langa doesn't know how to react but eventually he starts treating them like his own siblings (which with how much hes over there they might as well be) and he absolutely loves them

- reki thinks it's adorable every time langa lowers his voice to talk to one of them or lets them play with his fingers

[aphemorpha]

if batman ever gets a super power i want it to be melding into shadows (he cant teleport or anything but he’s basically invisible as long as he doesnt move. i think itd be neat) also please let him learn enchanting so he has some knowledge of magic. both of those things still fit with his character PLEASE

oh or he could have like. a city sense. so he knows where the most dramatic spot to stand is. and also vaguely know if a crime is happening nearby ig but thats less fun. just. give him basically useless powers that arent useless bc its batman.

if dick grayson had a superpower it would be hyperflexibility. he’s just a completely normal dude otherwise. actually for all of them theyre just completely normal except for whatever power they have. (except jason who is mildly enhanced. but thats what the goop pool does to you. ignore every other batfam member who has gotten brought back. only jason gets powers from it because he’s the coolest. (side note: cassandra is actually my favorite. jason is pretty low on my ranking of batfam members. doesnt mean i dont love him tho.) speaking of...)

jason todd just gets back up if you kill him. like, he doesnt have superhealing normally. but if he dies he pops back up like a daisy. (call this bitch a revenant. no seriously, after i finished writing this i realized “ah thats just the fantasy race i made except again”) (also i accidentally made batman a wraith, another race i made. whoops... ah, but tbf the wraith race is based on batman.)

barb can be a technomancer if she wants to

i wasnt going to give damian any powers but then i realized i could just let him talk to animals. he deserves it.

duke (do you want the ball?) already has a power lol

so does cass basically.

fuck i dont know enough about the other batkids to assign them themeatically on the nose superpowers. idk. let timothy turn into a bird? AHAHA AND THEN WHEN HE’S A BIRD ONLY DAMIAN CAN UNDERSTAND HIM ahhh suffering for the both of them.

also do you ever wonder if timmy boy is related to dinah drake? because i do.

actually damian and babs powers might be, well, overpowered. if they have superpowers i dont want them to detract from what makes the batfamily the batfamily which is kicking ass without the crutch of a superpower.

fuck its 3am im going to bed. maybe ill be more coherent in the morning