#this doesn't even make sense and is all sorts of incorrect obviously but it was funny

[starlitangels]

"Every song is somebody's favorite song" is a statistical error. Actually, almost zero songs are somebody's favorite song. Bohemian Rhapsody, which is 7.8 billion people's favorite song, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[ardbar]

You know. Noobs aren't really expected to last very long. Every time we see one that isn't Evbo, they never last long. We watch at least 5 of them die. Who knows how many Evbo has watched die. They probably aren't expected to last more than a few weeks.

And who would waste resources teaching things to people who will be dead in a few weeks anyways? Who would even teach them things? The Pros? The pros would Never, even if it was their Daily Task they would likely just sneer at the Noobs and call them stupid.

It makes me wonder. How many things are considered Common Knowledge that Evbo simply doesn't know even exist? How many things does he do that everyone else would consider him Utterly Insane for that were just... normal on the Nood Level?

EMF catches him using a bucket of water and bar of soap to wash his clothes instead of a washing machine and just thinks he likes doing it the old fashioned way. Shades Pro sees Evbo counting on his Fingers, only after 5 he's speaking jibberish. Shades decides he misheard him or Evbo is fucking with him. Seawatt finds him picking grass blades off a grass block and turns away with a roll of his eyes, not seeing Evbo stuff the fistful of grass into his mouth. He says that even reading is parkour because that's how he refers to all things he's never seen before (and 90% of the time is Correct in this assumption) and EMF and Seawatt think he's just making a joke.

And no one helps him because they don't know he needs help. They don't know that he can't read or write, he doesn't know numbers past 5 and ended up making up names for them, doesn't understand any sort of machine, even unable to understand how furnaces work really, as they had them on noob level but had no fuel for them, he eats grass blades because sometimes... sometimes Pros would "forget" to deliver some meat to his house, or he would be late and not get any, or sometimes the hunger would just get To Bad. Does he even know what a callender is? Evbo has no idea any of these actions are incorrect or that there's things he should learn.

After all, how can he possibly ask for the answers to a question he does not know exists?

Wait I actually love this. I've also believe that Evbo just wouldn't know as much as everyone else because as you said the Noob level just has no infrastructure. Like to your point about him saying even reading is parkour, he specifically mentions he only started to learn it after becoming the champion. This really goes to show how the noob layer just wasn't cared about. However this has always made me question some things, what exactly is the point of the noob level if ranking up is impossible. The master level is obviously a parallel for the wealthy elite, which would make the pro level something around the working class, following this type of logic the noob's would be like the lower class and menial labor. However, the noobs don't actually do anything. While we didn't spend too much time in the noob level all we really saw was that they have to do their daily parkour for food and then as long as they follow the rules they have no other tasks. Do they just exist to keep the pro class busy, to make the pros not realize they are still at the bottom of the social hierarchy?

Personally I think it would be cool if that was why the Noob layer is so underdeveloped and as you said not well educated. The noobs were only a means to an end. I think it would make sense that the Pro level has the biggest population since they aren't prone to dying like the noobs and because they do most of the jobs. Because they have the biggest population and thus a decent amount of sway the champion keeps the noobs around to make the pro's antagonize them instead of trying to rebel against the masters and him. By keeping most of the conflict between the pros and noobs he has effectively prolonged his society.

The noob's exist as an example that things could always be worse. That while the pros need to work to get time to practice parkour they at least have food, they at least have nice homes, they are safe as long as the noobs exist.

Personally I think it would be really fun wrote a fic about various things Evbo does and everyone else just looks at him like, "how are you alive right now?"

[dutchdread]

Ouch, that's gotta hurt.

Watching Cleriths celebrate NPTK these past weeks, knowing they'll, as always, be proven incorrect has been an exercise in patience. Sometimes it's just clear that you won't be able to convince people of a complex truth when so often discourse is limited to 280 characters. The reason Clerith exists is that people are unable to see the big picture, it survives by people squinting and not seeing the "but" that's located right after every piece of evidence they put forward. This means that you'll often be perceived to be arguing against what is to them the blatantly obvious. It's futile, nuanced argument never wins from emotion, so often you just have to take solace in the idea that "well, it will be fun to see their surprise 4 years from now". So when you get an interview like this, mere weeks after the game releases, which confirms everything that Clotis had been saying about, and had been mocked for, NPTK, you can't help feel a sense of schadenfreude.

Man that's gotta hurt. This is the difference between Clotis and Cleriths. Cleriths don't really like Aerith, because they want to assassinate her character. Rather than a sad tragic tale of a lifetime of love and loss they want to reduce her character to a shallow cliche rom-com about a capricious girl whose fickle affections change by the hour. The fact that the first person Aerith starts developing feelings for after 5 years of pining after Zack is a man who is almost literally channeling Zack becomes a meaningless coincidence in the story. The fact that she knows Cloud for 2 weeks, most of which is also spent pining over Zack is viewed as confirmation of how special their love is. It doesn't matter that Aerith doesn't even know who Cloud is. It doesn't matter that Cloud is shown to very obviously be in love with another woman. It doesn't matter that Cloud is clearly losing his mind. It doesn't matter that Cloud is constantly show as being apathetic towards her advancements. Even them fighting is recontextualized as "good chemistry" just to avoid facing reality. Usually nonsensical romances are seen as bad-writing, but here the cope makes people excuse all the nonsense as "how brilliantly written is this story? They love each other despite it making no sense, now THAT is romance". Zack is called irrelevant, CC is a "ret-con" and can be ignored, ACC is about how romantic it is to want to die to be with someone. The reason Zack is so predominant in Rebirth is in no way connected to Aerith yearning for exactly the bond he's constantly showing to have with her. The contrast with Clouds apathy means nothing, he definitely isn't there to have some sort of pay-off with Aerith in part 3. Nah, he's just there to give Cloud and Aerith his blessing and to F-off. The reason Tifa is silent and heartbroken at the end has nothing to do with her best friend dying and the man she loves losing his mind. The distance between her and Cloud at that moment is totally not used to illustrate the severity of the situation, or to set-up Tifas importance in the events for part 3. Nah, she doesn't get lines because she's just a side character duh!. That is how they think, every single character and story is assassinated, everything happens only to service Cloud and Aeriths romance, even Cloud and Aerith themselves are pushed through the mud. Screw the death of Ifalna, screw the death of Zack, screw the complexity surrounding Clouds Zack shaped psychology, screw Aeriths childhood and desire for real bonds of friendship, screw even the story of Aerith dying and how maybe, JUST MAYBE, the scenes surrounding Aeriths death have SOMETHING to do with the strong emotions surrounding death rather than just being "a cute romance scene uwu". Never have I seen any story interpretation reveal such rampant hatred for a character as Cleriths reveal for Aerith. To them, Aerith is totally the kind of person who would bond with Tifa, hear the very personal and intimate story about the promise shared between her and Cloud, hear that Cloud thinks that Zack is dead, and not 5 minutes later write a story about how "she loves Cloud and they wouldn't need no promises like that other girl". But sure, I'm the one who hates Aerith, not the people who think this is who she is, but me, the person who assumed she'd be less vile than that and that any song she'd write would encompass more than that. I stand up for her character and get mocked, called an Aerith hater, and called "toxic"....and then you get an interview like this. God it feels good to always have all your positions validated by future content. One has to wonder if the people still arguing for Clerith ever sit back and think "wait, the last 100 times I dismissed these peoples arguments I was proven wrong almost immediately, I am constantly having to shift my goalposts while they're just happily sitting there laughing as they consume media about Cloud kissing Tifa, or proclaiming to become her special existence....maybe I am the delusional one...." God I can't wait for part 3, it will be hilarious.

[racing-stripes]

all of you are wrong the mirrorball is not miles it's alex's "prize" for being famous & The Car, with all its introspection and self-reflection, functions as a goodbye album even if it isn't the arctic monkey's final one.

so basically. most if not all of the car is by alex TO alex (with notable exceptions). alex has never had a chance in his life to Not be famous- i mean, whatever people say i am was the fastest selling debut album in british history, and the bands' fame has only skyrocketed from there.

so alex, who has never not been famous, doesn’t know what his "prize" should be for going through all of it, he doesn't know what he should aspire to anymore. the mirrorball is some sort of consolation prize for going through so much. some vague thing he can Win once and for all, to say he deserved it.

for specific lyric analysis:

"don't get emotional, that aint like you"

an expectation of him imposed by an audience. more later.

"yesterday still leaking through the roof / but that's nothing new"

this sets up this album's theme of self-reflection. alex is acutely aware of his past and how he's changed. again, more later.

"i know i promised this is what i wouldn't do / but somehow giving it the old romantic fool / seems to better suit the mood"

i think this song, if not all of this album, is reflecting specificially on the audience's expectations of him around AM era (& after with tbhc, how he defied those expectations). he was a sex symbol, a "golden boy," the epitome of a romantic writer. after AM, he didn't want to do that anymore-- the "promise"-- but he's still an "old romantic fool."

"so if you wanna walk me to the car / you ought to know i'll have a heavy heart"

the car in this album comes up a lot (obviously, lol). i think the car is not a person. it's his escape from fame that he's after, his way out. but the fame is all he's ever known, and he's come to appreciate it, hence the heavy heart.

"so can we please be absolutely sure / that there's a mirrorball?"

the mirrorball is phrased like his reward for escaping that he'll get once he reaches the car. and i don't understand much beyond that, but i think it's nebulous on purpose. the mirrorball is what will make him feel okay, heal his "heavy heart." maybe it's a person, sure, but i think the important part is how he's itching to escape his fame.

"and how's that insatiable appetite / for the moment when you look them in the eyes / and say 'baby, it's been nice?'"

i've been stuck on this lyric for a while because of its romantic undertone with the "baby" and how it reads like the ending of a romantic partnership. but in context of him wanting an escape from the expectations and perceptions of an audience, i think it makes sense as the fantasy of saying goodbye to an audience once and for all. and this is def a fallacy although i'm not sure which one-- but doesn't he enjoy calling his audience at shows "baby?"

other rant which is probably incorrect or problematic in other ways because of how much intent it's attributing:

in the context of his alter egos, wouldn't it be fun to picture a mirrorball as the parts of his "fractured identity" making up a whole?

all the tiny pieces of mirror, all fracturing light slightly differently, making up one whole collective but fractured identity..,

[qqueenofhades]

I’m in undergrad but I keep hearing and seeing people talking about using chatgpt for their schoolwork and it makes me want to rip my hair out lol. Like even the “radical” anti-chatgpt ones are like “Oh yea it’s only good for outlines I’d never use it for my actual essay.” You’re using it for OUTLINES????? That’s the easy part!! I can’t wait to get to grad school and hopefully be surrounded by people who actually want to be there 😭😭😭

Not to sound COMPLETELY like a grumpy old codger (although lbr, I am), but I think this whole AI craze is the obvious result of an education system that prizes "teaching for the test" as the most important thing, wherein there are Obvious Correct Answers that if you select them, pass the standardized test and etc etc mean you are now Educated. So if there's a machine that can theoretically pick the correct answers for you by recombining existing data without the hard part of going through and individually assessing and compiling it yourself, Win!

... but of course, that's not the way it works at all, because AI is shown to create misleading, nonsensical, or flat-out dangerously incorrect information in every field it's applied to, and the errors are spotted as soon as an actual human subject expert takes the time to read it closely. Not to go completely KIDS THESE DAYS ARE JUST LAZY AND DONT WANT TO WORK, since finding a clever way to cheat on your schoolwork is one of those human instincts likewise old as time and has evolved according to tools, technology, and educational philosophy just like everything else, but I think there's an especial fear of Being Wrong that drives the recourse to AI (and this is likewise a result of an educational system that only prioritizes passing standardized tests as the sole measure of competence). It's hard to sort through competing sources and form a judgment and write it up in a comprehensive way, and if you do it wrong, you might get a Bad Grade! (The irony being, of course, that AI will *not* get you a good grade and will be marked even lower if your teachers catch it, which they will, whether by recognizing that it's nonsense or running it through a software platform like Turnitin, which is adding AI detection tools to its usual plagiarism checkers.)

We obviously see this mindset on social media, where Being Wrong can get you dogpiled and/or excluded from your peer groups, so it's even more important in the minds of anxious undergrads that they aren't Wrong. But yeah, AI produces nonsense, it is an open waste of your tuition dollars that are supposed to help you develop these independent college-level analytical and critical thinking skills that are very different from just checking exam boxes, and relying on it is not going to help anyone build those skills in the long term (and is frankly a big reason that we're in this mess with an entire generation being raised with zero critical thinking skills at the exact moment it's more crucial than ever that they have them). I am mildly hopeful that the AI craze will go bust just like crypto as soon as the main platforms either run out of startup funding or get sued into oblivion for plagiarism, but frankly, not soon enough, there will be some replacement for it, and that doesn't mean we will stop having to deal with fake news and fake information generated by a machine and/or people who can't be arsed to actually learn the skills and abilities they are paying good money to acquire. Which doesn't make sense to me, but hey.

So: Yes. This. I feel you and you have my deepest sympathies. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to sit on the porch in my quilt-draped rocking chair and shout at kids to get off my lawn.

[ryemiffie]

Okay In my last rant about Vox I think I got a bit too heated, so I'm gonna take a break from talking about the ever annoying Vox and instead move on to Velvette for a minute. So I saw a video of someone asking, "If Vox is a tv, and Val is a moth, what does that make Velvette??" And first of all no hate to that person I'm sure they just didn't pay much attention or something, but Velvette isn't Vox's and Val's kid, and even if she was she'd have to be adopted since sinners aren't capable of having children after death and it's not like they could of had her when they were alive obviously, so where did this idea come from? That Velvette is somehow their biological child??

Velvette is clearly not their kid, the groups dynamic doesn't even imply this so I don't know where the idea came from, but if you spend more than five minutes thinking about it it's obviously incorrect. Now onto what Velvette actually is, her old design was clearly based off some sort of doll, I think it was one of those clown dolls people like collecting (if I can find a photo I'll put it in here somewhere) but that's just what I looked at her and saw so I could be wrong about the clown thing. But I really liked her original design, it really sold the fact she was the youngest of the vees and had died very young, she looked like a doll that a little girl would have fun dressing up and playing with. But with her new design it's not apparent she's a doll, nor does she look all that young in comparison to the other Vees, and the casting choice for her didn't help either.

Her old design and place in the group dynamic made sense for the vees, Vox and Val are much older sinners from the 50s and 70s (at least according to what I could find) but Velvette was supposed to be a much younger soul who would've died around the early 2000s or the late 1990s, or at least that's what seemed to be widely accepted. I think having Velvette be very young in comparison to Vox and Val was a good choice, especially since Vox and Val wouldn't have the same grasp on social media hence the need for Velvette, a young soul who matches their ideals and who would be capable of helping them with that side of the empire they were growing. They all clearly have a use for each other and while that use isn't technically lost with Velvette's redesign, I do think it lost of some of the charm and execution possibilities by seemingly aging her up and presenting her in such a heavy contrast to her original counterpart.

Even with the redesign of the character and how they chose to present her I still think they could have managed to portray her as very young, but her voice kind of ruins that because she doesn't sound young at all, she sounds to be in her 30s or at least maybe late 20s, but her voice really does just paint her to be the same age as the other vees. Without prior context I would have just assumed when told Velvette is the youngest that it was just by a year or two, which I think really does just take away from the art of her character in the group dynamic. While I do love Velvette's current design, knowing what she was originally and what she was supposed to be, I'm just kinda disappointed.

Velvette's young age was supposed to place reason as to her knowledge going into hell, already having an understanding of the intricacies of how the modern media is run, such things as social media culture, everything that comes with trends from how to follow, make, and predict them, how to foresee the types of content that will appeal to the wider modern audience, and everything that comes with the advancements we have made in how we consume media. She already knew these things from her time alive and could introduce them to the rest of the vees, an example of this being when the character instagrams were a thing. In the beginning of the character instagrams, when the other Vees would post it was because Velvette told them they had to, because Velvette already knew how important keeping up their presence on social media was. When I first got into Hazbin hotel I was most excited for Velvette's character so maybe I just placed my expectations too high, but really I feel that there was a lot of failed potential with not just her but a lot of characters, and the show overall.

[punkitt-is-here]

It's fascinating to me to encounter people on the internet who choose explicitly not to say what their pronouns are.

To be clear, I respect your decision and applaud the firmness of your stance. I think that overall there should be less personal information on the internet and restricting pronouns is simply another step on the way to taking back internet privacy. The thing is, I have spent enough time, effort, money, and grief on the project that is myself that I am having difficulty grokking the desire not to have one's gender be known at all. I am totally disarmed by the attitude, and I attribute this entirely to my own experience growing up on the internet. I can no longer abide resigning myself to the perceived genericized maleness of the average internet user. I deliberately make my pronouns available I go on the internet, and I correct people in conversation when appropriate.

This is because, in my past experience (middle 2000s ongoing), if one did not have clear gender they got the masculine pronouns. Assigned Male By Forum Users wasn't just the default, it was the practice, the de facto, the un-inspected habit of the english speaking internet user. There Are No Girls On The Internet was then and to a degree still is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Even though it was obviously never the case, and that women have always been on the internet, sometimes it is easier to just go along with the flow to avoid the inevitable misogyny.

Keep it up, you funky little internet person. I like your horse comix! They are good.

Haha, I totally get it! When you work so hard on yourself, you want to make sure people see it right. I'm all for pronouns being readily available and stuff.

That being said, I like keeping em a secret for a couple reasons! They'll come out eventually, obviously, I'm a film student with a job and eventually someone from online is gonna meet me in-person and I'll be happy to let them know then and when I (IDEALLY) have a career that'll be public knowledge. I've got a perfectly good gender I'm very happy and comfortable with. For now, tho, since I've seen it a million times with artists online that i really love, I've found out that people tend to weaponize your gender/pronouns a lot. No matter what they are, too! I think I just get less weird comments and mail by just keepin' that shit a secret. Folks don't gotta know cuz it aint really that important. I like being able to speak online and not having one trillion internet strangers who think they know me because of some words in my bio cross-examine me every time I talk.

Also, it's fun! I've had people think I'm a cis girl, a trans guy, a trans girl, a cis guy, a nonbinary no-gender something or other, a neopronoun user, genderfluid...basically everything under the sun! And I think it's fun to see how people perceive me since I don't think you get that option a lot. It's honestly really fun to know that my online presence doesn't have any...like, gender coding to it, if that makes any sense? Because I've seen NO consistency in the guesses and I find that incredibly entertaining. Even some people who've known me for years passively online still use the incorrect pronouns cuz I've never clarified and I think that's just silly and fun. I'm glad to know that I'm very much not explicitly in any sort of "box" with the way I present myself, because I think gender is kinda silly in the first place.

So, uh, yeah! That's mostly my reasoning for not clarifying anywhere, hehe. :3c

[t-allyitup]

okay @potatoes-tomatoes just posted a character analysis on ed, and it was such an incredible take that i had to make my own post to add on to it. the link to their post is HERE, please check it out!

i think oftentimes edd is regarded as being an intelligent, genius-type and eddy is noted as being the classic scam artist/conman archetype, and while these are great, i think ed is sometimes written off as being a goofball or silly friend. this is (obviously) not an incorrect take by any means, as much of ed's persona IS comic relief/goofiness, but one aspect of ed that i always think about is that ed is CREATIVE.

ed is interested in art, comics, television/film, costumes, even dancing and music! ed is consistently an artistic mastermind, and beyond arts, ed is creative and imaginative in his head, too. his obsessions with monsters, aliens, all sorts of creatures in comic books/films are very noticeable through his character in the series. from the monster ed episode to him sketching "photos" of the cul-de-sac kids, it's a reoccurring theme that ed is creative.

on the post by @potatoes-tomatoes , they note that ed's character arc is notably less explored throughout the show, and this is something i definitely agree with. until reading their post, i never thought of a great explanation for why this is. there are also the commonly raised questions about neglect/abuse with ed (as with most of the characters, to be fair) especially in the instances of sarah's degrading behavior to him and his parents letting him be disturbingly unhygienic and doing things like taking away his stairs and the implied physical punishment he would get from his father at the end of that one episode. these (reasonably) raise a lot of questions about ed's backstory/developmental concerns, but what this poster said was very insightful—ed seems to suffer from a classic case of his younger sibling being the favorite.

emotional neglect is a very real thing, and while some signs have pointed to physical abuse or genuine physical/parental neglect, i think emotional neglect is clearly the most impactful result of trauma that ed has suffered from. his "outbursts" of noise and innapropriate laughter/timing for comments and jokes are all notable effects of this, and his lack of boundaries and personal space with his friends and difficulties with hygiene/self-care can also be linked back to an unstable relationship with his assumed primary emotional caregivers—his parents.

now, this is probably a good reason for ed's astounding creativity and array of niche/expansive interests as well. he finds peace and individuality, as well as affirming and inspiring things in his interests. they belong to him, and he gets to cultivate that section of his world, making it comfortable and he therefore feels more "understood." it's definitely possible that ed is just a creative guy, but it's also likely that this creativity is exacerbated by his lack of emotional support from his parents.

this leads to where he would find emotional support—the eds.

what @potatoes-tomatoes said about the eds acting as ed's parents makes a TON of sense, and it makes even more sense when considering that ed's character development arc happened before the show started or, alternatively, is a subliminal thing happening every episode, every season. they encourage ed's creativity and take his voice into account for scams and such. they listen to ed, even when he doesn't make very much sense. they support and acknowledge his interests, even when they use it for scams/science, and they engage in his interests by asking him about said interests and affirming his own interest in these things. they support him and engage with him, and they don't exclude him from anything, even though he may not fully understand what's taking place. he has an established role as a part of the trio, and specifically in the episode of ed getting grounded, they NOTICE when he isn't around.

they notice, and they care. they just him out of his room, and ed is instantly shining when he sees his friends faces—proof that the emotional impact they have on him is HUGE, doing things for his mood and self-esteem that things like getting his stairs taken away or being locked in the basement are suddenly turned near-irrelevant. ed clearly values the hell out of having an emotional connection to his friends, one that validates his identity and existence, and supports his creativity and imagination. the support he lacks from his parents is made very clear in his affection and loyalty to his friends, who honor and appreciate him.

this is my add to the take mentioned before, and before i get comments about how eddy and eddy torment ed i want to put a disclaimer that yes i know they take advantage of him at times and they are cruel, and they might not be the *best* friends on paper. i just mean that generally ed is obviously comfortable and feels cared for/loved by his friends which is clearly very important to him

[jacksprostate]

Was just wondering how you manage to replicate palahniuk’s style so well and also obviously write his characters?

Love your blog btw!

There's a few things that go into it!

Firstly, I have the advantage of, according to my friends, before I read any of his stuff my style was already kind of Chuck adjacent. I tend to be very rhythmic in my writing, I do like to have little repetitions, I like fun descriptions — similar to how he focuses on things reading aloud well, and favoring offbeat descriptions, his little ritual words, etc. That's my biggest secret, I just already wrote pretty close to it without knowing, so I didn't have a whole lot to change. Similar dog learning new tricks sort of deal. That said, there IS stuff I actively think about, especially with regard to character voice:

There's some things I'd call window dressing — minor changes that make it more recognizable. This would be things such as: the narrator does not get put in quotes, slips into 2nd person, using a rhythm where the dialogue tag goes in front (generally Tyler says, blah, not blah, Tyler says). That also makes it feel more active and present. I also like to outright include the occasional line from the book as a referential repetition, or a spoof on a line, I think that's the fun of fanfiction. But if those lines stand out glaringly it can be a sign you either need to change your style or maybe you're just trying to stick it somewhere it doesn't belong.

There's some bigger things: sentence variation is another thing I've invested pretty heavily in on my own and something I highly recommend any writer get in the habit of, but in trying to match his character voice I do consciously feel for when something is getting too long, specifically. The key with Chuck is he can have long sentences, but they're made out of short ideas. Long sentences often become grammatically incorrect as they're separate ideas jammed together for rhythm and sense.

He also shies away from adjectives; I kind of ignore this because I love a good adjective, but I've learned from it by making sure each one is impactful in its own way. Avoid superfluousness, keep things moving. He also shies away from stereotypical descriptions, I enjoyed building my confidence making weird ones. It's something I'm keeping going forward.

Another thing with his style is he loves fun facts. Fortunately I also love fun facts. To do those you have to keep it relevant, symbolic/metaphorical, purposeful, and simple. You can totally get complex, but only using simple building blocks. It's not to show everyone you know something, it's to build a little cliff to push the narrator off of. People don't need the detailed rockwork.

He often has little... almost like an aside? The narrator will ramble or think about something else for a little bit before getting back to the present. That shaky hold on the Now contrasts with how action focused everything is and allows moments of rest even if its still action.

As for character voice, the narrator; by following the above, you can get most of it, and then remembering his general view of the world to keep things in theme. He shouldn't be happy. He should have a lot of surpressed rage. Etc. Good character writing starts with a good understanding of the character, and that's real important for whoever your pov is. Always important to check if stuff passes the "he wouldn't fucking say that" test. When I have dialogue for him, it's almost an extension of his thoughts. I mentally read it to myself with the dull affect Ed Norton used for the movie monologue, really that shit was perfect. I usually can't keep a voice in my head like that but that one... yeah.

Tyler on the other hand I have to be pretty conscious about, sometimes I'll go back through the book and read some of his lines. He tends to be very direct. Very rarely uses names, it's tempting to use psycho boy or ikea boy all the time but it's the devil speaking. Tyler is direct, always serious even when he's laughing, his statements are not mitigated at all, if he is saying a pet name it is for its own impact not to soften any sort of statement. Rhythmically I find this directness difficult sometimes, but the 'Tyler says' dialogue tag makes it feel like a religious call and response on the narrators part and serves to soften things — but have that be the narrator's perspective and choice, not Tyler's. It's pretty heavily repeated in the book. Tyler also requires a "He would not fucking say that" test and I think I've gotten better at his dialogue over time (ex: retroactively, Tyler's dialogue in my psychoactive fish story s u c k s. I mean, it works, but I didn't really have a strong grasp on him at the time and while the actions sound like him, the words and delivery don't. Now though I think my snippets and the dildo fic are pretty strong!) A lot of it is just practice and tuning your ear. Reference the original material and try to dissect it.

Hope this makes sense :) if there's anything specific where you're like "how'd you write that" I can try to answer. Glad you enjoy my blog!

[magpiecrust]

What is Red Revenge?

Basically, it's a WW2 superhero story that actually goes into alternate history instead of pretending modern day would be unchanged from the real world after all these events and despite all these supernatural and superscientific elements.

I can't think of anything to compare it to. Über? The Specialists? There is also some inspiration from Inglourious Basterds. But Red Revenge is not as gory as Über or Basterds, the aforementioned inspiration i don't mean Tarantino's voyeuristic gore. Also nobody is as OP as Über's supersoldiers. Still, it's obviously very dark.

It's supposed to become a webcomic eventually. I've seen writing advice that tells you to make incorrect quotes, playlists, moodboards, etc. about your characters to get a hang of them, which is what i'm doing on this blog. I'm also still workign on the character designs. Researching armies, history, involved real people, and the weather so your alternste history that spans over a decade is realistic is a lot of work and takes a really long time (even withiut indecisiveness and procastination). While the unrealistic elements are the point of divergence, i want the events unfolding from their presence (and other interference) to be realistic and make sense. I need to do other stuff besides research every once in a while too.

Tom Handschin/Carmine Avenger is the main character, a young german antifascist whose adoptive father Hans Leonhardt is murdered by the nazis in 1940 when they're found in Paris. Tom becomes sort of a superhero, though he's propably more similiar to the pulp characters The Shadow and The Spider. Like them, he doesn't have any superpowers. He's also autistic and gay ace, like me. I might change his name to Red Avenger.

Like The Shadow, Tom has a bunch of other people working for him. The most developed ones, whom i've already mentioned on this blog, are Emese Nacht/Pine, Horst Dießl/Crow, and Arthur Tangemann/Star. They all have single-word codenames that are supposed to look like legit surnames.

Sascha Schwinghammer, Basti Brandt, and Karl Barbier are Hans' friends and compatriots who are alive (at least for the time being), Renate Brandt is Basti's wife and Hannah Barbier is Karl's wife (Hannah, Karl, and Sascha are secretly all together). Hans, Sascha, Basti, and Karl are all disabled WWI veterans, they met during WWI, remained in contact, and opposed the nazis together.

Detlev Herr is Tom's former friend from the orphanage and a current frenemy. The frenemy thing is because Detlev joined the communist party in the late 1920s and believed KPD's narrative that all non-KPD leftists are evil. And since Tom is an anti-USSR and anti-KPD socialist...

The other superheroes of Red Revenge, besides Tom, are the generically superhuman Louisa Kinge/The Catalyst, pretty low-level psychic dhampir Miyako Hasuike/Wisteria Woman, the hydrokinetic and potential nixie Tadpole, the vampire Noah Ashford/Grey Howler, and generically superhuman Orville Holm/Freedom Fighter.

The main villains of Red Revenge are, obviously, a group of nazi supervillains; their leader The Lightbearer, the robot soldier Living Inferno, speedster Falk Bernhardt Rot/Thunderlight, telekinetic Adele Siemon/The Maiden, and hydrokinetic maybe-nixie/human hybrid Romano Marchegiano, generically superhuman Byron Ashford, and sniper Jan Messer who i don't have codename ideas for yet. The Lightbearer's girlfriends Gretchen Wagner and Kreszentia Glasner might also get mentioned. I've already decided how and when all these people die, at least tentatively.

(Yes, Noah and Byron are related. There's a whole british upper class family drama with them)

(Tadpole and Marchegiano are not related. Neither are Miyako and Noah)

[watermelonsloth]

Fanfiction Pet Peeves in No Particular Order

(I primarily read Naruto fanfiction so all my examples are related to Naruto.)

(I'm also gonna say that none of this matters if fanfiction and similar fanworks are being made for fun. These are just personal pet peeves.)

No paragraph spacing or punctuation. I don't see it often, but it can make fics unreadable when it happens.

Character bashing, especially if that character is also out of character. It's just annoying and more often than not it interrupts the story. Most of the time it feels like the author is trying to meet a hating-this-character quota for the day.

Overuse of purple pros and complicated words. These things are not only usually used incorrectly or are inconsistent, but it makes it feel like the author is trying too hard to sound smart. Also, if your story needs a dictionary on standby to read, you need to edit it.

Author's notes in the middle of the story. It ruins the pacing of the story and throws off audience investment. Also, no one wants to read something with the author breathing down their neck. If something needs to be clarified, clarify it in the story. If you want to offer your thoughts, wait til the end.

Incorrect/inconsistent use of Japanese words, grammar, and honorifics. There's nothing wrong with writing fanfiction in English as an English speaker. Adding words and whatnot that you don't understand is noticeable and unnecessary.

First person perspective.

Making a character too out of character. In fanfiction there's some leeway to account for character interpretation and how the alternate universe could've affected them, but after a certain point the character changes just don't make sense. This is especially annoying in shipping fanfiction. If you don't like the dynamic between the characters, why are you writing about them to begin with?

Treating characters as defenseless kicked puppies. I find this particularly annoying in Naruto fanfiction because the Naruto series doesn't treat anyone as kicked puppies. Characters like Itachi, Nagato, Sasuke, and Naruto are treated as sympathetic, yes, but the narrative doesn't excuse their actions because of that. Itachi is treated as making the wrong decision, Nagato is treated as hypocritical, Sasuke is treated as in the wrong, and Naruto is treated as rude and acting out(until he goes through his character arc). Even Hinata, the easiest character to make into a kicked puppy, is treated with more agency in the original narrative than characters like Sasuke are treated in fanworks.

Angst for the sake of it. The way I see it, if angst isn't being used for character development, plot progression, or to make some sort of commentary(on the original work, the real world, etc.), then it's just unnecessary knife twisting. This problem becomes worse exponentially with every time it's used.

Poorly handled slowburns. If the characters kiss within the first 1000 words, the fic isn't slowburn. If there's no progression of the characters liking each other before they're suddenly together at the end, the fic isn't slowburn.

Difficult to follow plots and characters. Fanfiction plots don't have to be perfect, but the audience should at least understand why characters are doing what they're doing. I've come across too many "And then the characters went over there!" plots in fanfiction.

Fanworks without plots or conflicts. If a story is a series of one shots, is just a one shot, or is tagged as not having a plot(like PWP), this isn't a problem for me. But the second a story has a linear plot, I expect an actual plot. It gets really boring when stories refuse to introduce conflict.

Unbalanced writing/obvious author preferences. Obviously background characters will get less screentime, complexity, and development, but if a fanfiction has multiple main characters, I expect them all to be given the time and attention of a main character.

Not properly tagging the fanfiction. I don't care if it's because you wanted a plot twist, tag the fic properly. Character death, character reveals, scenes that feature specific things(a general rule is that if it can be considered a trigger or fetish, you need to tag it), and other similar things(I'd even consider things like infidelity to fall under this) need to be tagged regardless of what effect you want the scene to have on your audience.

These are all of the things that I can think of off the top of my head, but there would probably be more if I really tried to make a list of everything(I might just be picky). Feel free to share any fanfiction pet peeves you have.

[onewomancitadel]

Actually you know what, I spend a lot of time criticising my own analysis because it's fun and I think that at the very least I'm not falling to some of the most grievous sins of fantheorising and that's important even if I'm wrong, idealistic, put too much stock in one thing or another, get a thematic chord incorrect, etc.

I constantly feel like a failure and have a fear of being seen as stupid pretty chronically and I am still 'growing and learning' as they say. So I am trying very hard to convince myself that I try anyway and that matters. Like I am thinking of the times I have changed my opinion about something (e.g. once I had an opinion about Ruby/Oscar that I had simply because someone whom I felt knew better than me because I'm a dummy and they're obviously smarter than me was challenged and I changed my opinion and it made sense), or have considered alternatives and I think that that sort of reflection is important. Especially when I am plagued by 'you are an idiot you are an idiot you are an idiot' at all times of the day because hopefully that fear of being stupid shouldn't block one off from learning (that's what I really fear, that and being a burden).

Though I really really think the ability to reconsider one's points is sometimes made impossible by rude people in fandom who make everyone defensive so maybe my historically poor fandom experiences influence that a bit too and historically poor experience in general in life.

Obviously this is on my mind a bit because Volume 9 is coming up, and with a longer break than usual I've had more time to think - though honestly there's not a whole lot one can predict other than really broad beats which is, for me, focussed almost entirely on katabasis (and how it may or may not be played with considering the name of the world they've descended to), and I haven't really speculated at all on the actual Vacuo front because the Emerald City stuff is not going to be exact. I think Nora's arc might be the most clear and I really don't know if they're going to do Summer Maiden stuff this early, and my guess of a Summer Maiden endgame doesn't come until likely much later. That's the thing - I also don't trust a hyperspecific theory.

You can read my V9 Speculation tag, though I'm not entirely sure if that includes my speculation that Raven may have something to do with bringing Yang and co. home.

[klugpuuo]

7 15 27 a+d for dew (or if you wanna answer for another oc that's epic also)

doing this for dew AND feathers bc they are a pair do not seperate

7.What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

for feathers it would be any interaction w/ the concept of sky-sail festivals. his citizens used to hold massive ones and he would sometimes sneak out to watch everything, maybe even steal some food and get on a skysail (obviously he had to get off pretty quickly - it doesn't take much to realize that there's a stowaway and a thief onboard, especially one who likes talking so much!) he misses those festivals, but he enjoys the feeling of nostalgia he gets. it reminds him that it was real in a weird way. anyway, he can always talk to others about it, seems they were a pretty widespread phenomenon!

dew doesnt have much to be nostalgic about.

15.How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

giving dew my Ailment where she constantly scripts whenever she leaves a conversation and makes like 50 iterations [lol] of the same sentence to perfectly please whoever she's talking to and then when she gets back to talking she feels like she's a horrible person just misleading them or forcing them into an rp bc she scripted

feathers just says shit . unless it's serious, then he very carefully thinks of what to say next

27.What causes them to feel dread? 

well other than the obvious "THE ROT"...

feathers isnt bothered by much usually very bothering stuff. he does sorta panic when he runs out of a specific type of medicine thats hard as hell to fabricate or whatever though

dew gets that feeling pretty frequently unless she's actively shutting herself off :v:

A) Why are you excited about this character?

BECAUSE THEYRE FUCKING COOL. THEY'RE SO AWESOME. LOOK AT THEM.

dew is like... she's one of my Popular ocs!!!! people who havent directly interacted w me know abt her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAND SHE'S ONE OF MY POPULAR OCS WHO HAS NOT BEEN SEXUALIZED TO DEATH she did get the curse of incorrect assessment but like this is really good for a fat woman who wears shirts lie 30% of the time ok?

for feathers... smiles i just like writing him!! it's nice to have a character who always can use sign language tbh, and i love writing his dialogue it's fun he's silly. i love the concept of the only group's doctor being everyone's brother and i like how kind and loving he ended up being even though beneath it all he's really fucking annoying (funny annoying but. still annoying. and he LOVES being so)

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

are you prepared for that question.

THIS is what they used to look like. their original designs. before all the crazy lore, when feathers still Talked sort of like this, using full punctuation and proper hoofdletters.

one thing that's more or less always been true was that dew had fur or hair of some sort. i changed it to fur once i remembered she had hair so it would make a bit more sense considering my hc that iterators Dont have that

and one thing i've kept with feathers is the little diamond thing on his clothes, which you can actually see on artis too!

[margle]

thoughts on tone indicators and the generational language gap

((long post to get something out of my system because it interests me. doubt anyone else would find this interesting))

I recently saw @hbmmaster 's (jan misali) video on tone indicators and it got me thinking about how offline, older generations would understand and approach tone indicators. I specifically am thinking about older, offline generations because I am presuming that there is a wider gap in language understanding due to the meaning of acronyms, phrases and even words changing wildly between older and younger generations. The most common example of that would be lol: 'lots of love' or 'laugh out loud'.

Prior to jan's video I only barely knew what tone indicators actually stood for, aside from /j. My reaction to them was one of general confusion but I was always too lazy to look up their proper meaning. After I watched the video I wrote down what my initial wrong translations of tone indicators were because I was amused at how incorrect I was.

Recently, I was talking to my mum and stumbled across a common issue between us: she can never tell when I am joking or being sarcastic and it often causes offence. This is probably a mutual issue as I have been told I don't offer any indication in my tone when I am telling a joke, aside from sometimes smiling. However, she also struggles to decipher tone. Because of this misunderstanding, I was reminded of tone indicators and I brought it up with her to see what she thought of them. I told her that tone indicators were used online to tell the reader what tone a potentially ambiguous statement was (e.g. a joke). I asked what she thought they meant and found some interesting results.

This isn't really a proper experiment because I gave her the indicators out of context, whereas I had experienced them all for the first time in the wild. Nevertheless, the difference between my initial understanding of them and hers is interesting. (/j and /hj aren't included because I explained them to her as context).

/hyp (hyperbole)

I thought: /hyperbolic She thought: /hyper

/s (sarcastic)

I thought: /serious She thought: /serious

/pos (positive)

I thought: /piece of shit She thought: /point of sale

/gen (genuine)

I thought: /genuine She thought: /general

The most interesting one here is /pos. Obviously, within context, she may have been able work out that it stood for something else, but this demonstrates that different generations can have wildly different understandings of common acronyms. Im tired now and can't be arsed to go into this but I promise there are insightful things you can say about this.

Anyway, language is weird and interesting. For a long time I thought people using /pos were being strange and threatening and if my mum saw it maybe she would think they were talking about advertising (unlikely). It is fun how we can both be so wrong but in such different ways.

A side note: until a few days ago I thought that when people said (gn) on tumblr they were saying 'good night'. Nope, means 'gender neutral'.

Example:

This goes out to all my chronically online girlies (gn).

While 'good night' kind of makes sense at the end of a sentence, as a sort of sign off, in any other context it is clear that it means something else. Strangely, I just presumed that they were using 'good night' in a sarcastic way.

Example:

I love fandom girlies (gn), they are so fun to talk to.

I would have understood this as: I love fandom girlies ( actually not really, I hate them because they are boring and make me go to sleep).

Another interesting (disputable) thing is that I thought 'oomfs' was an onomatopoeic way of writing the roblox death sound. Idk man.

Like all things I write, this doesn't really have an end so I'll sort of just let it fizzle out.

[piosplayhouse]

2023 update : I know it's best to just leave this be since it's been dead for months up until yesterday and I don't want to feed any antagonism, but just for the record I do feel like I can explain myself and contextual analysis a bit-- this was posted towards the tail end of the American Stop Asian Hate movement, a few months after the first anniversary of the Atlanta spa shootings. There was a pretty tangible sense of paranoia in younger Asian American communities, which coincidentally makes up a lot of the English-speaking mdzs fandom, who felt in some cases unsafe openly flaunting their culture on the street, which subsequently led to a burgeoning movement to de-westernize online spaces to maintain a hold of that cultural capital and ostensibly create safe spaces for particularly diaspora to feel comfortable being asian within those. Off the back of this came a number of posts critiquing some culturally insensitive trends within western mdzs specifically, of which takes like the ones I mentioned above surfaced.

I don't agree with everything I said in these posts anymore, and I hope I made it clear from my interactions with people in the replies that I was a bit hasty and incorrect in my recounting of details from the book. I'm also sorry if anyone felt oddly by my usage of "white mdzs fans", obviously this is a very generalized label that doesn't pick up on the nuances of cultural identity and understanding as it relates to race, and a number of white mdzs fans are much more understanding of and knowledgeable about the historical, genre, and cultural context of the story than I am (especially since many that were willing to correct and discuss with me were white indeed). Ironically, by posting this, I did indeed become somewhat of the white non-expert fan stereotype I was reactionary towards I suppose. The fan landscape is much different now than it was a year or even 3 years ago when I first found out about mdzs, and I probably would not post this now without impetus because the focus has moved further away from people flat out refusing to look at the text from anything but a western lens.

I don't really know if I have anything else to say that doesn't sound like I'm not owning up to the idea that the original post did have misinformation in it, but since I did all the work of writing that shit up I feel like the additions should be dug up too to sort of remedy that

Anyway, I do implore you to read the analyses some people have written in the comments with textual evidence, they really are interesting.

This feels really silly to say but I feel like a baffling number of white mdzs fans somehow don't understand this but umm I know we all think of necromancy as sexy but wwx drafting everyone's grandmas into the skeleton war and fucking up their reincarnation cycle is culturally a very fucked up possibly irredeemable no-no

[leviiattacks]

Two Faced | Chapter Ten

↳ levi ackerman, the very person who was about to kindly behead you by a surprising turn of events manages to become your loving husband? you would be elated if this was true love, but it’s all thanks to a mysterious magic spell that your life is spared, for now at least.

pairing :: duke!levi x duchess!reader genre :: royal au ??? (at this point idek) angst, fluff, slice of life etc ?? word count :: 4k author note :: haha.... wowww it's been long since i last updated. honestly my physical and mental health have just been horrible... that's about it, i lost a lot of motivation but if you're still reading i am very thankful and i will try to deliver the story well. i tried my best but writing whilst sick is very tiresome :-) tags :: @patience-is-here​ , @chwlogy​ , @a--nonymousse​ , @imkumichan​ 

→ chapters list

Keeping yourself cooped up within Levi's estate and never daring to step a foot outside should have been what you had done. Blackmailing him to keep you confined within the walls of your bedroom would be much better compared to the problem you have to resolve now. Perhaps if you had done so you wouldn't have collided face first into this muddle.

Jean fiddles with the ends of his button up, he doesn't take the chance to glance up at any of his superiors. He's either much too embarrassed or has nothing noteworthy to start off with.

Erwin chooses to call the shots seeing as neither you or the Viscount by your side wish to begin.

"You both understand why we're here. Correct me if I'm wrong?" The Commander looks between you, Jean and your unfortunate excuse of a husband. Suddenly it looks as if the gears and cogs in Jean's brain move without warning.

Offering a demure nod you expect for him to follow in your footsteps and do the same only he stands there looking between you and Levi.

"Wait...The two of you are? A couple?" Stunned isn't the word, Jean's completely flabbergasted.

"If you figured that out this late, I do not understand why Erwin sees you remotely fit for my team." Levi's beyond insulted at the fact he's only just understood the situation.

Jean, now more intimidated than ever before straightens his back and coughs clumsily, "Sorry." He murmurs chestnut eyes making contact with the hardwood floors.

The Commander's laced hands sit atop his desk, elegant fingers moving similar to honey on a spoon. He sighs not out of fatigue but pride. Whatever plan he's come up with has to be decent at the very least, his body language is telling you that much.

"We have a number of possibilities we can choose from. We owe that pleasure to Mr Kirstein here." Erwin offers him an almost cynical smile, you can't help but gulp thinking about how this is essentially your fault. With all the constant training sessions and team building tasks it makes sense for Jean to have completely forgot about your unspoken rule. Solely blaming him is incorrect.

Raising your arm above your head to intervene you make it known that you're aware of Levi shooting you a look of warning by returning it. It's best he knows you don't care for anyone's opinion let alone his.

"Permission to speak Commander?"

Your request is agreed to immediately with the wave of  Erwin's hand.

"It's my fault for not reminding Jean. I'll take the blame, I hadn't even told him the full story concerning me and Levi."

Levi doesn't enjoy your defense in the slightest. "I don't expect my wife to fling herself at other men and allow for them to snoop around gathering the details of our personal lives."

Scoffing you shield yourself with your arms over your chest.

"Oh dear husband. If you want to get personal do tell me where my family is?" It's an inside joke only Levi will be able to understand.

"If you call those people family your standards are disgustingly low."

"Maybe that explains why I settled for you."

Again, other's opinions are not at the forefront of your priority list. Regardless it's quite enjoyable pushing Levi further into a corner with that sentence. You see the internal struggle play out within him. Jaw clenched, hands balled together. He doesn't have an appropriate response

Jean bursts out unable to hold it in any longer, chest trembling with every quake of laughter that ripples through him you have to shove him with your elbow. For a Viscount his etiquette sure is nonexistent.

"My word, the two of you sound like..."

Levi stares at him most probably expecting something along the lines of "An old married couple."

But, no. It's nothing anyone in the room expects. That includes you.

"It's as if you're unhappy with each other..."

Not a noise is made after that. Jean isn't mistaken, your heart is miserable. You've never had many relationships to begin with, whether it be familial, romantic or platonic and for someone such as your husband to treat you the way he does - it feels futile having to navigate around the complexities. Even if he isn't really your husband it's disappointing to reflect on your marriage so suddenly.

Feeling your face droop a little you bite your bottom lip with your teeth. Hearing the truth from someone you barely expect to hear it from has an effect on you.

You're so caught up analyzing everything it takes you a minute to even register Levi grumbling and lunging forward pilfering the collar of Jean's shirt.

"Every day you prove to be more and more pathetic than I expect." Levi turns to look at you after that. His stare bores into you but he doesn't come off threatening, you assume his last remark is directed solely at Jean.

When he turns back only glaring at Jean now with even more tenacity than before. He's ready to snap but Erwin has clearly had enough of the unwanted altercation in his office.

"Enough. The both of you. This is most bothersome." At the Commander's orders Levi is silenced although it takes all of his resolve to do so.

Finally bothering you take a good look at Jean. He's calm in an incredibly out of character way.

Is this not the man who trembled in his boots the first time he and Levi came into contact? It's almost as if he seems pleased with himself for drawing out such a reaction from his Captain.

Erwin shuffles through stacks of paperwork on his desk. The man needs an assistant at this point. You doubt you could find anything in that haphazard pile. Edges of crumpled paper poke out uncomfortably and Erwin becomes increasingly annoyed when he can't locate what it is he's looking for.

Just as you're about to ask if he requires any assistance it seems he's found what he's been looking for, that's if his eyes are any indication of the relief he feels.

"This." He holds up the paper, all eyes in the room are trained on it. "Under normal circumstances would not have to become an option."

"But these aren't normal circumstances?" Jean's thoughtless question is irksome when the answer is so obviously staring him down in the face.

Nonetheless Erwin nods incapable of losing his cool over something so minor.

"Sign to confirm to my proposition."

The document he places onto the desk isn't what you imagine, you can practically feel the dread climb up your throat once you're done scanning it. Jean's full name placed right next to yours in bold lettering has your stomach lurching. You don't have to read the rest to understand the new circumstances you've landed into.

To make matters worse Erwin places two rings down right in front of the both of you.

A pot of boiling hot water is what you've been thrown in.

Are you supposed to be some sort of replacement for potatoes? What's Jean in this scenario? Carrots?

"It is troublesome to have the two of you put on an act to be involved with one another but I see it as our safest option." Erwin notices your parted lips and slacked jaw. "You need not worry this isn't a marriage contract, you're simply acting."

There's no path out of this pot, you and Jean will simply have to deal with the prospect of being boiled alive.

Ah, you forgot to mention who would act as the hot water but you're sure the suspect is obvious.

Even right now Levi's fury radiates off of him, it's unclear if he was given the details of the Commander's plan beforehand but if his furrowed brow and pursed lips are indicators of the truth he must have had no idea.

Your suspicions are confirmed to be correct once Levi reaches forward plucking the paper away, it just so happens he's snatched it away the very moment Jean leans in to get a closer look at it.

"I was never informed of this."

Erwin gives him a guarded smile. "Do you have any jurisdiction over what I think is best?" Is his freezing reply.

"Yes. When it concerns my wife and another man - Correction. I meant boy."

Jean's taken aback by the subtle jab and shamefacedly shoves his hands into his pockets.

You watch the scene go down with a perplexed look the entire time. Levi's frustration seems to be legitimate yet he has no logical reason for it to ever be present in the first place. Unless he has a plan which outperforms the one you've just been given he's doing this all for nothing.

"I assure you your wife is in safe hands so long as you stop interfering."

Levi's about to bark back until he catches your confusion. He's become aware of your tilted head and telling expression and only then does he silence himself permanently not before sighing deeply, muttering an expletive under his breath.

 "I’ll sign it.” That seems to be Jean’s indirect way of asking what your choice will be.

“I... will too.” Is your hesitant reply.

Levi only becomes avoidant after that. Half way through Erwin explaining how you and Jean have to look believable Levi just ups and leaves without a word. Perhaps you've hurt his pride but for what he's done to you it's a small price to pay and so you do nothing to make amends. He has no reason to feel uncomfortable, you aren't really his wife, you're essentially strangers. Does he even know your favourite colour? Your favourite food? Your favourite pastime?  

You doubt he does.

Jean and you are rather successful with your act. It feels pleasant having him brush your hair out of your face occasionally or lovingly place a hand on your forehead to check if you've come down with a fever. He laces his fingers with yours when others are around and when they aren't he lets the act go. It's satisfying having a cooperative partner.

Naturally Jean is still a tease, even now he makes the odd suggestive comment or two in passing but you can't say you hate it. In fact it excites you to think of a response that borders the edge of teasing and simple fun between friends.

The increasing openness between the two of you is enough for the cadets to deduce that he's most probably the noble man you wed in secrecy.

It's only been a few days since yours and Jean's newfound behaviour, thankfully you haven't been flooded with questions just yet. The higher ups sit nearby during breakfast, lunch and dinner keeping watch over the cadets. It leaves you able to eat and drink without having to handle the constant inquiring of your comrades.

However, you aren't as lucky today. A meeting's taking place and after yours and Jean's convincing act Erwin deems it safe enough to leave you unattended for a short while.

Of course it doesn't go according to plan because when you're involved when does anything ever go according to plan?

The cadets are flocked around your table at dinner as soon as they notice they've been left to their own devices. The opportunity to sit down without everyone invading your space is barely provided to you. Krista is sat to your right leaning into you rather animatedly, Annie has made herself at home sat across you which in itself is completely out of character and slightly unnerving, Annie never and you repeat never concerns herself with you.

"Why did you and Jean hide it?" Armin hovers over your shoulder as per usual. He can't be blamed for naturally being inquisitive and it does give you the opportunity to lay out the foundations of your plan. Now's your time to muster up one of your rehearsed responses.

"It would interfere with work." You respond immediately wanting to appear natural. Pondering on an answer for too long would raise suspicions.

Armin makes a sound of approval and shuffles into the seat next to Krista, that is until Ymir can be overheard telling him to move if he knows what's best for him.

"I have a question." Says a voice across the table, you don't have to look at the blonde parallel to you to know it's her.

For once Annie’s initiated a conversation with you, she’s not particularly great at keeping her intentions discreet. Maybe she doesn’t care if you can tell what she’s up to? But if that’s the case her plan isn’t all that foolproof, there's no way you're to let any details slip away.

Sharply inhaling waiting for what it is she has to say you find that her sentence never comes. Instead she shakes her head and murmurs a "Never mind.". You don't even have the time to ask her to stick around, she's already rose from her seat taking her unfinished plate of food with her, you let her go assuming she feels unwell.

"So how'd you two meet? Jean already told me earlier but I'd like to hear your side." Reiner's taken Annie's empty seat and his gaze is unwavering. The trap they've set up is a clever one. Surveying the hall for Bertholdt you know he has to be observing too. The two never operate alone.

You suddenly hate Reiner. For whatever reason he and his trio are endlessly obsessed with you, they've caught onto something that's for sure but you don't know what it is and now they've completely ensnared you with a backhanded trick. There's no way out of this, you have no idea what it is Jean said to Reiner, the chances of you providing the exact same answer are slim to none.

"My memory is really fuzzy, I don't think Jean gave off much of a first impression so I've forgot." Your horrible excuse doesn't fly by, everyone simultaneously narrows their eyes in disbelief. What you've said isn't convincing at all.

Husband and Wife yet you've forgot how the two of you met?

Fidgeting with the ring adorning your finger the cool metal isn't doing a great job at alleviating the pressure of the situation.

"Jean said the two of you hit it off almost instantly. Who's being dishonest?"

Reiner's either lying to catch you out or he's saying the God honest truth and right now all you can do is hope and pray for a miracle to sweep you off your feet. Mikasa and Jean still aren't within view. At this point you're hoping for Levi to save you, it doesn't matter how so long as you escape unscathed.

"Hey, I think we're just making her anxious with all the questions." Armin is quick to side with you, deep down you know he only does so due to the respect he holds for his Commander. You thank the Heaven's for Erwin's admirable smile and commendable leadership, it seems to be the only reason Armin believes you and Jean.

"Or she's lying." Reiner's resting his head in one of his palms, he's still boring holes right into your frame.

Your eye twitches, this is all unnecessary and uncalled for, whatever it is Reiner wants out of you it better be worthwhile.

He still eggs you on. "You walked out of the Captain's quarters. I saw you."

Standing up and leaning forward you plant your feet to the ground as firmly as you can you.

"And if she did what's it to you?"

Fighting the urge to sigh in relief you've never been happier to hear Jean's voice but something's off. His breathing sounds heavy - like he fought his way to get inside. Turning only then do you notice Mikasa standing by him. She looks equally as exhausted. There's been some sort of a struggle.

"You think it was funny getting Annie to guard the door?" He heaves and runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

"And you think hiding secrets from the rest of us is any better?" Reiner's adamant there's information that the both of you are hiding, he's not wrong but that doesn't change that he's challenging you unprovoked without a reasonable motive.

"We're hiding nothing." Unlike you Jean is sure of his words, he's confident speaking up and he seems to be able to pull off the role of a protective husband perfectly.

“I came out of the Captain’s quarters because he had access to hot water. He said I could use his shower. That’s all it was.”

Reiner quirks an eyebrow upwards and is pleased with your answer. God you’ve said something incriminating haven’t you? It's not incriminating per se but it's without doubt malleable and easy to twist.

“Jean, you were okay with your wife doing that at the dead of night?” Reiner's still leading the interrogation.

“I was the one who suggested it.”

“I don’t believe you’re a couple." If it were Reiner who said that you wouldn't care much, after all it's pretty clear he never believed it but to your displeasure it isn't him who's spoken. Ymir's lopsided grin is all knowing and you're beginning to lose your footing in this argument any second now if any more people start to side against you.

If Ymir disagrees that almost certainly means Krista has her qualms about you too, you've observed beforehand that Ymir tends to speak for Krista on occasion. This happens to be one of those times.

Krista timidly raises her hand and Ymir gives her an approving nod encouraging her to speak.

"I don't like the conflict going on but it is suspicious..."

"Why have I only ever seen you two hold hands?" She asks.

Ymir slings her arm over Krista's shoulder affectionately. "Yeah, I tell Krista I'll marry her every day of the week."

Mikasa mumbles something unintelligible, Ymir gives her a look of warning but Mikasa doesn't seem to care. Instead she repeats what she has to say loud and clear.

"Stick to only speaking when Krista is involved."

Krista holds Ymir by her arm so she doesn't get up, she knows how she gets when she's been provoked. Even if Krista has her suspicions it isn't worth Ymir gaining a permanent penalty point on her record.

Thankfully Armin cuts in. "There's no solid evidence to show they're lying and even if they are the Commander's most probably told them to. Don't you think there's a reason? Leave it be if that's the case. I trust him with our lives."

"We have a right to know." Annie's returned and insists to keep this back and forth going.

Just as you're about to fire back Jean takes a hold of your waist, you look down and seeing his large hands planted securely around your frame has your stomach bubbling with anticipation.

"What are you— "

And then he kisses you, he doesn't ask and instinctively your arms move to whack his chest but you stop yourself in time. You realize it's for the sake of your plan not falling through and so you gently place your hands on his shoulders attempting to ground yourself. It becomes increasingly difficult when you sink deeper into the kiss than you'd like to admit. Blood rushes to the tips of your ears and the thumping of your heartbeat makes it difficult to articulate any thoughts, all you really know is that you like this, whatever this is.

Jean's hands don't feel like they were made to rest against your back, they feel slightly out of place as if he's a key and you're an unmatched lock. In spite of that the circles he comfortingly rubs into the sides of your waist are appreciated, you almost forget you're in a room full of people until you're flooded by cold air.

You've been dragged off of Jean and something in the pit of your stomach has you wishing Levi isn't responsible for the interruption.

To your relief it's just Hange, they're glowing in mischief, the grin on their face shows they aren't mad. They might even find this entertaining.

"Well I be damned... maybe they weren't bluffing?" Connie's been persuaded by the looks of it and Krista's busy whispering to Ymir, you hear the faint sound of the word "Romantic" escape her lips, she's equally as convinced as Connie.

Hange smacks your back light-heartedly and looks to the door for a second. "We leave ya' both for a while and you decide to give everyone a show?"

Erwin's stood by the doorway with a humorous smile playing at his lips, Levi however is anything but amused, he glares at you with murderous eyes, he looks like he's ready to end your life then and there but you know he won't dare do so and for a second you feel braver than you ever have before. Without much thought you grab onto Jean's forearm.

"Me and my husband will get going now!" You allow your gaze to loiter when you get to Reiner. He grunts an apology and you're oh so tempted to ask him to repeat himself but you'd rather not instigate anything.

With that said and done you and Jean leave after giving the performance of your lives.

Slowly but gradually the sky outside becomes dark.

The will to sleep left your body long ago. It's by pure luck that you even manage to catch three hours of rest. Training is the only available distraction and dying out in battle isn't favourable by any means, your boredom may as well be used resourcefully - Strapping yourself up in your ODM gear is the best option.

A quarter way through your warm up you can sense a presence behind you, the leaves rustle and the wind feels noticeably quieter. You'd bother to turn around to see who's intruded but Levi's snuck close enough for you to be able to smell his perfume from where you're stood.

"Feel disrespected? Embarrassed even?" You jab at him knowing it'll rile him up, you don't face him not wanting to give him the pleasure of seeing your face.

"Watch your mouth." he warns sharply.

Rolling your eyes you go about your business, it stays that way for a few minutes. All the while Levi stares at you darting from tree to tree, his scrutinizing gaze scalding you repeatedly.

"Y/N!" He yells at the top of his lungs.

For some unknown reason you automatically stop and lower yourself to the ground

"I have something to tell you." Comes his tense follow up. A finger of his latches onto one of the leather straps on your back.

You can't believe he's still denying the undeniable.

"You can wait till tomorrow. I'll be going to bed."

Levi doesn't seem to care for your cold response and proceeds with no warning.

"I'm jealous." His voice shakes. The grip he has on your harness doesn't let up. With your back turned to him you're still somehow able to detect the very obvious crack of pain.

Levi, jealous?

Gritting your teeth together you feel deceived.

How much longer will you have to tolerate Levi's push and pull?

“May I ask, what he is to you, my love?”

Your breathing grows heavy, tensing up you're completely shocked by the term of endearment that falls from his lips. You haven't heard it for so long, Levi sounds eerily different.

You hate to admit it but a flicker of foolish hope lights in your chest.

"Levi why would you ask— "

"Why don't you call me Lev anymore?" He whispers sounding strangled. You can't take it anymore and hesitantly look his way.

His eyes are filled with tears "I'm sorry my love, I don't know what went wrong." you falter for a second not knowing what to think.

At that moment the flicker becomes a flame.

The man who stands right before you is meant to be dead, never to be seen again. By all accounts this should be impossible, but Lev has always been a fighter.

Bitterness stings your heart, the wounds you've collected are still fresh but despite your body's protests you don't flinch when he gently takes a hold of your wrist, bringing it closer to his mouth.

"Lev...? Is that really you...?" You ask desperately.

The warm kiss he presses against your pulse point provides you with the answer you've been longing for.