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stevie-petey · 8 months ago

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episode two: vecnas curse

“Hey, guys?” Max gets everyone’s attention and points towards the boathouse. Dustin is the first to start walking down, Robin and Max not far behind, and you stand back with Steve. “Yeah, sure. Let’s go into the creepy abandoned boathouse. Yay.” “We’ve done worse, angel.” You sigh. “It’s really depressing that you’re right.”

Summary: you and billy play marco polo, max interrupts a saturday morning breakfast at the henderson household, robin crushes steves dream of becoming a 1950s housewife, reefer rick has an odd taste in movies, boathouses are creepy in the dark, and eddie munson likes it when you pull his hair.

Rating: general, some swearing

Warnings: drowning, violence, swearing, fem!reader, use of y/n, blood mentions

Words: 10.5k (i wrote this in one day)

Before you swing in: hey gang !!! so i wasnt supposed to update so soon. and then i wrote this entire chapter in one day. so now here we are. anyways ! read the warnings, this chapter starts heavy. on another note: i start senior year of college on tuesday so updates will vary as i settle into my routine again so pls be patient !! for now, heres a very surprising and unplanned chapter 2, enjoy !

–

Water.

There’s so much water.

In your mouth, in your chest, burning your lungs and swallowing every scream that scrapes your throat to escape. Every breath you take, more water spills into your body and quiets the desperate cries and gags you.

Your head breaks through the water’s surface and you inhale so sharply it burns your lungs even more than the chlorine does. You choke on the air, it’s sickly sweet, and a hand shoves you back under the water before you can inhale again.

Bubbles encase your screams, your arms flail up, your legs kick wildly to try and reach the surface again. But the arm attached to the hand is strong, it holds your body under the water without effort. In the rims of the ripples above you, the corpse of a boy you once knew stares down at you.

“I’ve found you.” Billy sneers, his voice muffled by the water that rushes in your ears.

His eyes are cold, his skin sunken in and littered with cracks. It’s yellowed, decayed, edges of his skin have turned gray as he’s decomposed. Billy’s hair is matted and his shirt is torn and yet his hand shoves you underneath the water again and again and again.

You try to scream, you try to fight against him, but he’s always been so much stronger than you. Even in death, Billy Hargrove’s weight on you anchors you to the rushing water that threatens to drown you.

Your head breaks the surface again. Billy pulls you up by your hair, your scalp burns. Air wracks your lungs as you struggle to inhale anything other than Hawkins' pool water. Coughs shake your body, bile rises in your throat, and Billy shakes his head at you in disgust.

“I’ve found you.” He shoves your head under, your nails claw at his skin but he doesn’t flinch. Blood drips down his arm, stains the pool’s crystal blue, and yet you’re drowning still. Again Billy yanks your head back up, for a brief moment you can breathe, before his breath ghosts your face and he hisses into your ear, “I’ve found you.”

Water. It’s all you can feel around you. Your lungs are on fire, you scrape your nails the concrete as you struggle against Billy, but you’re dying.

You’re dying.

Billy pulls you back, air kisses your face. Your vision darkens, more bile rises. There’s so much water. You can’t stop coughing, you think you’re crying, the chlorine stings your eyes as it sears your raw throat. Billy slams your head down onto the pool’s edge. Pain explodes in the bridge of your nose, blood stains the water even more.

“I’ve. Found. You.” You take one final gasp of air before Billy shoves you back under the water.

You’re weightless.

Everything goes dark.

Suddenly your body rips forward, jerking awake so violently that it makes you nauseous. Your chest heaves, your body struggles to inhale the air that was so cruelly taken from you in your dream.

It had been a dream, though the water felt so real. The taste of chlorine lingers in your mouth.

Panting, you force yourself to look around your room, list all the things you see. It’s become a little game you play, every time you have a nightmare so vivid that it challenges reality. Your eyes find Steve’s old basketball hoodie, draped over your desk chair. You focus on the bite of bitter cold from the charm bracelet’s silver that rests against your wrist. Breathing through your nose, you try to name what you can smell.

The scent of your mother’s famous waffles wafts through your room. Notes of freshly roasted coffee accompany it. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, your heartbeat settles down. Your fists unclench, your body finally relaxes.

It was only a dream. Billy isn’t really here. He didn’t really tried to drown you at the pool. It was all just a fucked up, horrible dream.

“Y/N! Breakfast is ready!” Your mother’s sweet, doting voice carries through your closed door. “Come join Dusty and I, please.”

You rub your face, sighing deeply. The nightmare bears down upon your shoulders, the weight of last night crushes your chest. “I’ll be there in a second!” Your voice is brittle, exhaustion evident.

Breakfast with your mom and Dustin is the last thing you want right now, but you know it’s better not to deny Claudia. She’ll worry, ask you if everything is okay. You’re scared she’ll notice that you aren’t at Family Video for the first time in months. Every weekend you’re there to see Steve, to tease him with Robin.

But the hurt that marred Steve’s devastatingly handsome face last night… You can’t see him, at least not right now. You’re not even sure he’d want to see you, which scares you even more.

You take your time getting ready, your movements slow. In the shower you scrub your skin raw, as if you can cleanse yourself of the memories from last night. The betrayal in Steve’s brown eyes, Jonathan’s raspy voice asking questions that made your head spin. Lucas and his heartbreak as your brother abandoned him. Dustin’s denial of your code blue.

Pulling on one of Steve’s old t-shirts, the smell of his cologne lumps tears in your throat. It’s all too much. You miss him, though how can you be sure you haven’t really lost him?

When you finally sit at the table, Dustin doesn’t look up at you, and your shitty mood only worsens. Only your mother brightens when she sees you. “Y/N! Here, I saved you some bacon, I know you don’t like it crispy.”

She slides some food onto your plate and you try to give her what you hope is a bright smile. Your mother can see through people in a way only you can, an ability she passed down to you. Today, you’re afraid that if she asks you what’s wrong, you’ll break. “Thanks, mom.”

Breakfast is tense. Your fork scrapes against the plate. The food looks delicious, your mother is a brilliant cook, but there’s cement in your stomach and you can’t bring yourself to eat any of it. Dustin doesn’t look at you even once, and your mother tries her best to make conversation.

“So, any big plans for spring break?” She asks, looking eagerly at you and Dustin.

You push some fruit around on your plate. “No, not really.”

“Hm, well why don’t the two of you go and build something together? Remember that robot set from Stevie? I’m sure you and Dusty could build something with what’s left!”

“Yeah, maybe.” As if Dustin wants anything to do with you right now. You must not sound convincing enough because your mother starts to frown. Panicked, you clear your throat and try to change the subject. “Hey, have you gotten any new toys for Tews?”

“I got her some new stuffed mice, but she doesn’t seem to like them.” Your mother responds, setting her fork down. She looks at her children in front of her, sees the tension that brews between them. Dustin hasn’t said anything all morning, and the dark circles underneath your eyes worries her. Grasping at straws, she rushes over to the T.V. and turns it on, hoping one of your favorite programs is playing. “Here, let’s watch something.”

Only the Saturday morning cartoons don’t appear on the screen. Instead, Channel 9 lights up. Hawkins’ news channel.

“We’re at the Forest Hills trailer park in east Roane County.” A broadcaster announces as a swarm of people behind her gather around something. There are cops everywhere, and you get up from the table, curious. “We don’t have a lot of details now, but we can confirm that the body of a Hawkins High student was discovered early this morning.”

Your mother lets out a strained gasp, the shock ripping through her body. Your own body stills, your heart skips a beat. The broadcaster drones on, explaining how the police believe there’s foul play involved.

Someone has been murdered in Hawkins.

Over by the table, Dustin’s eyes finally meet yours. You know he’s thinking what you are. Monsters have plagued Hawkins for years now, but there’s never been something as gruesome as a murder. Not in the six years your family has lived here.

Something isn’t right. The news channel interviews a plethora of neighbors in the trailer park. One woman talks about Barb, all the suspicious deaths since 1983. How Hawkins is cursed. Your eyes find Dustin’s again and you both exhale nervously. The woman is right, although she can never know what really goes on in this town. Hawkins is cursed, but not in the way anyone thinks.

Then, terrifyingly too late, you remember that the broadcaster had announced that the body was found in Forest Hills. Max lives in Forest Hills, and the body had been a highschool student. The police haven’t released the name of who it was and panic slices your nerves at the thought that it could be Max.

“My heart can’t take it anymore. It just can’t.” Your mother whimpers, holding Tews close to her chest. Your heart aches for her, she grew up in this town and all it has endured these last few years is pain and death.

Dustin sighs next to you and when the doorbell rings, he goes to open it. You follow, nervous and fretful as you always are.

Max stands on your porch, and the moment you realize it’s her, you pull her tightly into your arms. “Oh, thank God.” She stiffens at the touch, you notice that she’s out of breath, panicked. A terrible, horrible feeling of dread takes a hold of you. Pulling away, you force her averting eyes to look into yours. She’s scared; she’s never scared. “Max. What happened?”

Everything falls apart quickly after that.

Max drags you and Dustin into your room and collapses onto the bean bag. Her words are jumbled as she tries to explain everything. You sit motionless on your bed next to her, listening to every word she says. Dustin paces the room, both of you try to make sense of what you’re hearing.

“The body… It was found in Eddie’s trailer.”

Your breath catches at Max’s words. Dustin’s steps falter. Nausea washes over you, you place a shaky hand over your stomach to quell it. You’ve left your brother alone with Eddie hundreds of times this year, and now a dead body has been found in his home?

“No, that can’t be possible.” Dustin doesn’t want to believe it, he doesn’t want to consider the idea that his mentor could ever harm anyone.

Max bites her lip. “The police have his trailer taped up, it’s under lockdown. And the body they found, she was-” She pauses, takes a deep breath. “It was bad, guys.”

“You can’t seriously think it was Eddie though, right?”

You catch Dustin’s arm and give him a warning look. He’s antsy, you get it, but he needs to calm down. Turning to Max, you ask the question you’re dreading. “Who was the dead student, Max?”

The girl looks down, plays with her fingers, and you can see the remorse that drapes her shoulders. Fear plagues you again, it had to have been someone you knew. After a few moments, Max finally tells you. “Chrissy.”

An overwhelming sense of grief forces any air left in your lungs out. Chrissy had always been so kind to you. She was a ray of sunlight, you shared a class together sophomore year, she had given you daisies when she heard of Will’s disappearance.

Chrissy Cunningham was one of the few good things in Hawkins.

And now she’s dead.

Dustin can’t believe it, either. “Chrissy Cunningham?”

“A-are you sure?” You breathe out, eyes following his pacing figure as Max nods.

“Yes, she was in her cheerleader outfit. Same thing she was in when I saw her with Eddie.”

You frown at this. “She was with Eddie?”

Max nods again, and you’re struck by how odd the entire situation is. Chrissy is, was, the head cheerleader. While she was always nice to you, she never interacted with anyone like Eddie. Hell, hardly anyone ever associates with the guy, so you can’t believe that she would even talk to him. That she would willingly step foot in his trailer, especially after the basketball game last night.

You had overheard one of the kids on the team mention a party to Lucas before he left. Chrissy should’ve been there, next to Jason as they celebrated the win.

“Did you tell the cops?” Dustin asks, still trying to wrap his head around it all.

Max shakes her head. “No, but I-I can’t be the only one who saw them together. I mean, they stood out.”

“Are you even sure they were together?” You also can’t wrap your head around the fact that they’d be together in the first place. “Maybe… I don’t know, Chrissy had a friend who lives in Forest Hills as well?”

“No, Eddie and I are the only two students who live in the trailer park.”

Dustin paces again, in complete disbelief. “Eddie, the freak, with Chrissy, the cheerleader.”

“You know, his name’s not in the news yet or anything, but–”

“Eddie is going to be the prime suspect for Chrissy’s murder.” You finish for Max, understanding where she’s going with all this. It’s the only logical conclusion that can be drawn from finding a dead girl’s body in the guy’s trailer.

Anyone would be suspicious of that, and yet Dustin refuses to admit it.

“No, that’s crazy.” He glares at you, he can’t believe what you’re implying. “Eddie didn’t do this. No way.”

Max looks at you, she has a grimace on her face, and your expression mirrors hers. Sighing, you try to reason with your brother. “Dustin, they found a body in Eddie’s trailer.”

“No way,” Dustin hisses out, eyes burning into yours. He won’t back down from this, he knows you hate Eddie but he’s furious that you’d go as low as to accuse him of murder. You’re so fucking hypocritical. “And, FYI, your annoying vendetta against him won’t get us anywhere.”

“I don’t have a vendetta against him!” You scoff, hurt that Dustin would assume you’re only saying all this because Eddie mildly annoys you.

Max, sensing an argument brewing, gets up from the bean bag and intervenes. “We can’t rule it out.”

“Yes we can!”

“Dustin!” You and Max berate him at the same time, now standing in front of him. He isn’t listening, he’s blatantly ignoring the fact that someone died in the same trailer Eddie grew up in. He was the only one with Chrissy last night. Dustin is refusing to see the glaring red flags presented in front of him.

“Look, you guys don’t know him like I do, okay? Y/N practically wants the guy dead most days–”

“Hey!”

“So I don’t necessarily trust her judgment on the matter.” Dustin doesn’t let you interrupt him, he’s adamant to defend his friend. “When we got to high school, Lucas made all his sports friends. Mike and me? I mean, no one was nice to us.”

Upset creeps up your neck. You had been there for the boys, offering them sanctuary their first day, but they had denied you. It hadn’t been enough for them. They didn’t want your help, not anymore. “Dustin…”

“No one except Eddie.” He finishes, eyes only on Max as if it’d make it sting any less. He recognizes what he’s saying, that it isn’t fair to you, but he’s too overwhelmed to try and clarify it all to you. Not right now.

Max’s shoulders deflate, her resolve dwindles but she still argues anyways. “Okay, well. They said the same shit about Ted Bundy.”

“Ted Bundy was charming.” You snort, understanding what Max is trying to say, but it’s a poor example. “Eddie isn’t.”

She smiles briefly at you, the joke amusing her, but then she sees Dustin’s narrowed eyes and quickly defends herself. “I mean, he’s like a super nice guy, but then he’s murdering women on the weekends.”

“So you’re saying Eddie is like Ted Bundy?”

“No, we aren’t saying that.” You mollify Dustin, although you can’t help but add in, “besides, Eddie could never lure in multiple women. We still aren’t sure how he even lured Chrissy in the first place.”

Dustin is about to start yelling at you, you can see it in the way his mouth twitches and the enraged breath he exhales, but Max is quick to step between the two of you. She isn’t sure why you guys are at each other’s throats this morning, but she doesn’t have time to deal with it.

“No, we aren’t saying that.” Max glares at you, and you smile weakly back at her. “We’re-we’re saying that we can’t presume anything okay? But it doesn’t look good for Eddie.”

Dustin, now finally starting to listen, sits on the bean bag behind him. He lays there, looking small in the mass of the makeshift bed. He’s crestfallen, and your anger from earlier disappears. Sighing again, you sit next to him and nudge his shoulder. “Listen, I know it’s a lot right now, but maybe the police will find evidence that Eddie didn’t do it–”

“Why haven’t you told the cops this?” Dustin sits up, eyes on Max.

She crosses her arms, the question surprises her. “I… I don’t know.”

Dustin presses her, both of you notice how her body language changes. She draws into herself, she’s uncertain. There’s something there, buried beneath all the information she’s told you today. Something else happened in Eddie’s trailer, something she isn’t telling you.

“Max,” you soften your voice, afraid. “What did you see last night?”

The girl’s knees find your bed and her body falls against it. Max’s eyes won’t meet yours, she almost seems scared. Her demeanor causes your stomach to drop. What could she possibly have seen that terrified her so much?

“After I saw Eddie and Chrissy go in the trailer…” Max looks up at you and Dustin, her blue eyes guarded, alert. “Something else happened.”

She explains the lights flickering in her house. The static on her T.V., how the air felt thick. She tells you that she could hear a scream, Eddie’s fleeing silhouette ran into his car and the way the tires screeched on the pavement as he left.

The more Max recounts, the tighter the fist of dread inside your stomach coils. Flickering lights, static… It can’t be what you think it is. You catastrophize everything in your mind, you always are the first to fear danger that isn’t really there. Hopper closed the gate last summer. He died saving the world. The gate is closed, the Upside Down is out of your life. For good this time.

But then why does it feel like its spillage is leaking through the cracks you’ve desperately tried to glue over?

Max must see the panic on your face and she quickly backtracks. “Y/N, it wasn’t that weird or anything. Eddie always drives like a maniac and the power goes off at my place all the time. It’s a piece of shit, alright?”

“Then why did Eddie run?” The question taunts you, there’s something wrong with it. Shitty power grids and reckless driving can be explained, but why would someone scream while fleeing a crime they committed?

Max swallows. The question has been on her mind, too. “The look on his face… He was scared. Really scared.”

Dustin sucks in a breath, it’s subtle but you can feel it against you. He looks up, eyes meeting yours, and the dread that resides in your ribcage seeps into his. Max stutters out possible explanations, she tries to find something else to explain what it could mean, but you all know that it’s no use.

You realize why Max had rushed to your house. Why she hasn’t gone to the police with what she knows.

The fear on Max’s face when she arrived on your doorstep, how breathless she’d been from running over. That had been real, familiar. The same fear that crossed her face when you’d first unwillingly introduced her to the Upside Down all those years ago.

“Or maybe Eddie was scared because…”

“Something else killed her.” Dustin mumbles quietly, piecing it all together as well.

Your body is numb, your lips move but you don’t recognize the voice that speaks. “You think it’s the Upside Down.”

The words hang in the air, everything stills the moment they’re brought into the light. Beside you, Max nods, slowly, regretfully. As if she doesn’t want to believe it herself. “But, that’s impossible, right?”

Every year the impossible somehow becomes possible. Every year the wound that scabs over reopens, the blood of it chokes everyone you love.

“I don’t know,” Dustin’s voice is soft, he’s scared, too. “It should be.”

“And yet we always end up here,” you laugh bitterly. It’s the same fucking thing, over and over again.

Dustin’s hand finds yours, his touch is warm, yet unfamiliar now. He hasn’t held your hand in months, you almost forgot what it feels like against yours. “We don’t know that,” he squeezes your hand. He’s kind again, he’s your brother again. “There’s only one person who knows what actually happened.”

Eddie.

Whatever he saw, it’s important. No one will believe him if it’s the Upside Down, no one will understand that he hadn’t done anything at all. That monsters haunt the shadows of this town, that the deaths in Hawkins hadn’t really been deaths.

You have to find him.

–

Steve doesn’t think he’s had a worse morning than the one he’s having today. He hadn’t slept, his exhaustion a reminder of how much of an asshole he had been to you last night. He had yelled at you; he’s never, ever yelled at you. Not in the entire three years he’s known you, not even when you’d hurt him so deeply by cutting him out of your life that fateful summer.

But last night Steve swears he saw the same look in your eyes that Nancy had in hers the night she told him she didn’t love him. He saw it, he knows he did, and he had been fucking terrified. He can’t lose you, he doesn't think he’d survive if you ever left him. Especially not if he’s the reason you leave.

Steve is miserable, and his foul mood only worsens when you don’t float through Family Video’s front door with a smile on your lips and a glint in your eye like you always do every Saturday.

“Where’s Y/N? Normally she’s here by now.” Robin looks around the store, noting your unusual absence as she scans a movie to restock.

Steve pretends not to hear her, he really doesn’t want to talk about it right now. He knows that if he tells Robin the two of you had a fight, she’d demand an explanation and promptly call him an idiot, regardless of whether or not he’s in the wrong.

“Dingus, did you hear me?” Robin shoves the cart his way, causing it to hit his hip with a slightly painful thud. “Where’s that gorgeous girlfriend of ours?”

“She’s my girlfriend,” Steve grabs the cart and throws random movies inside of it as he starts to walk down the romance aisle. Fitting.

His coworker doesn’t miss the way he avoids the question. Suspicious, she blocks Steve’s path and forces him to look at her. “You’re dodging. Why are you dodging? Where’s Y/N?”

“Robin, we should really be focusing on work right now–”

“Oh my God, did you kill her? Did all that hairspray rot your brain and cause you to kill Hawkins’ sweetheart and force the world to mourn the beautiful legacy she’d leave behind? Huh, is that it?”

“What! No, I didn’t kill Y/N. What is wrong with you?” Steve elbows the girl, he isn’t in the mood for her ramblings, yet Robin remains standing in his way. She raises an eyebrow at him, silently daring him to keep avoiding her questions, and Steve knows he has to fess up. Looking away, he clears his throat. “We, uh. Sorta had a fight last night.”

Robin frowns. “A fight?”

“Yeah.”

“But you two never fight.”

“Yup.”

“Alright, so it was all your fault then.”

Steve rolls his eyes, he knew Robin would say that. “I didn’t even tell you what it was about.”

“And yet I know it was all your fault.” Even though she’s kidding, she sees the hurt that flashes across Steve’s face and eases up. Clearly whatever the fight had been about was bad. Bad enough that you don’t show up to Family Video like you always do. Taking pity on her friend, Robin flicks Steve’s forehead and prompts him to start talking. “Alright, I’ll bite. Tell me what happened.”

Steve leans against the wall, rests his head back. He knows he should talk about this, Robin will know what to do. He doesn’t have the best track record of communicating with his girlfriends, and for the first time in his life, he wants to try with you. Steve would do anything for you, even if it means being vulnerable with Robin in order to figure out how to make you laugh his name so softly again.

“Y/N was… Upset last night. After the game. She’s been having some problems with Dustin lately, and, I don’t know. I was trying to be funny, I guess? Cheer her up, get her to laugh.”

Robin winces. “Oh, that never ends well.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” Steve huffs. He always somehow makes things worse, and last night he’d gone for a world record with you. “I just… I really wanted to see her smile, you know? So I joked about our future together, said we’d live in a shoebox apartment in New York after she graduates, and she just…”

“Lost it?” Robin shakes her head at him, trying to hide her disbelief. She wants to give Steve the benefit of doubt, but she thinks she knows where this is going. And it isn’t good.

“She told me I couldn’t come with her.” The words had branded themselves onto Steve’s chest, the flesh still raw and bleeding. You hadn’t wanted him to come with you; you didn’t want Steve anywhere near you. “She was just going to leave, without me.”

Robin stands next to him and she nudges his head with her hand, hitting him without any malice. He’s such an idiot sometimes, a hopeless, well meaninged idiot. “Okay, you’re being very thespian right now. I’m sure that’s not what Y/N meant when she said you couldn’t follow her to college. She’s like, crazy in love with you. Anyone can see that.”

“Then why was I the only one considering our future the entire time? I mean,” Steve scoffs, angry again. “I asked her what she thought we’d do after she applied to college, and she couldn’t even answer me. For months she was applying and she didn’t stop to think about us, about our relationship. She just… she was just going to leave.”

“And your solution was to… Follow her to college, unannounced?”

Steve recognizes how stupid he must sound, but he doesn’t expect Robin to understand. When you’re with someone, when you love them, your actions become theirs. How they breathe becomes your heartbeat, how they sleep becomes your solace. From the moment Steve’s eyes laid on you, he knew he’d follow you to the ends of the earth.

He just thought you’d do the same for him.

“I wasn’t going to just show up at NYU unannounced, alright?” Steve pauses, he tries to find the right words. “But I thought… I thought she envisioned us together, for the rest of our lives. Instead she told me that I deserve better, as if I-I’m physically able to imagine a world where I’m not standing next to her, where I’m not a ten minute drive down the street.”

Robin bites her lip. She thinks she understands what Steve means, where his actions were coming from. She remembers the late night talks about Nancy, how the girl had hurt him deeply when she abandoned him. The surface level love that tainted his perception of himself for years afterwards. Robin knows that Steve clings onto any semblance of stability he’s presented. Years of being lonely and used have left him unwilling to let go of the ones he loves the most.

But that doesn’t mean he should give up his entire life to do so.

Robin thinks that this is what you really were trying to tell Steve, even if he’s too blind to see it right now. “Y/N wants you to live your own life. You gotta see that, Steve.”

“She is my life!” Steve throws his hands up in the air, he’s sick of explaining this to everyone. You’re his everything. You’re the blood he bleeds and the tears he sheds. His life is yours. He doesn’t care how pathetic it may sound or how dramatic it may seem.

“Steve,” Robin places a hesitant hand on his arm, and when he doesn’t pull away, she takes it as a sign to continue. “Y/N loves you, she wants what’s best for you. Meanwhile, you have no idea what you want. You’re seriously considering abandoning everything to live in a giant, rat infested city, and you hate cities! I mean, what would you even do there? Lay around all day and wait for Y/N to come home like some 1950’s housewife? No offense, Stevie, but you don’t have the legs for a dress. Although, maybe if you wore heels and some lipstick–”

“Get to the point, Robin.”

“Sorry,” she shakes her head quickly, refocuses. “The point is that her not wanting you to follow her to college is nothing personal. If Y/N didn’t see a future with you, then she wouldn’t waste her time with you. Simple as that. But she does, and she’s totally, madly in love with you. Plus, we both know that the real reason you want to go with her is because you’re scared she’ll find some hot, 6’5 guy to replace you with and if you’re not there, she’ll be swallowed up by all those hot models and rich business men who prowl the streets of New York–”

Steve covers his ears, shoving Robin away from him. “Okay, okay! I get it, Jesus. There’s plenty of hot men in New York, you’re totally not making this worse for me.”

“So you admit that you’re scared she’ll find someone else.”

“Okay, no. I didn’t say that–”

Robin runs towards the other end of the store and grabs a VHS tape. “Ignoring you! I’m right, you’re wrong, and I’ve just found our morning movie: Doctor Zhivago.”

Steve lets her change the subject, he’s tired of arguing anyways. “You know I don’t do double VHS.”

“But it’s about doomed love.”

Of course it is. “Oh, well that’s relatable.”

“Precisely.” Robin starts to go on and on about an actress in the movie who’s hot, but Steve drowns her out as he returns the cart. She grabs the T.V. remote and clicks it on for their movie, but quickly their morning plan dissipates when Channel 9 comes onto the screen.

“... that the body of a Hawkins High student was discovered early this morning.”

Steve and Robin stare at the screen in silence, the broadcaster’s words echo throughout the room. A Hawkins student is dead. The temperature in the room drops, Robin shifts uneasily next to him and Steve presses his arm against hers, silently offering comfort.

They stand side by side as the broadcast goes on. Neither one of them speaks, listening quietly as the details are revealed. It’s a horrific murder, from the sounds of it. The more the channel announces, the more tense Steve becomes. He doesn't like it, violence has always made him anxious. As his nerves spiral, he gets the horrifying idea that maybe the body is yours.

He knows it isn’t, he dropped you off at home last night, but he hadn’t stayed to make sure you made it inside safely. Steve curses, he’s a fucking idiot. He left you alone last night, and if you got hurt because of his selfish actions, he will never forgive himself.

Suddenly the front door opens and you run in with Dustin and Max by your side.

“Hey, Steve.” Dustin tries to get his attention, but the teen is already hopping the counter, sprinting over to you.

Forgetting about the fight from before, Steve clings onto your shirt and hugs you. His arms shake, you can hear his heartbeat stuttering a mile a minute. Overwhelmed with the scent of him and the feel of his body against yours, you melt into the hug as relief sags your bones. “You’re okay,” Steve exhales against your ear, his hand finding your hair. He tangles his fingers through the strands, tries to pull you in even closer.

“I’m okay.” You whisper back, clinging onto him just as desperately as he is to you.

The moment is interrupted by Dustin, who pounds on the counter to break the two of you apart. “Hey! Assholes!”

Steve glares at the kid, he doesn’t let you go, but he reluctantly steps away. “Someone was murdered, you know that, right?”

Dustin ignores the sarcasm. “How many phones do you have?”

“Two, why?”

“Technically three, if you count Keith’s.” Robin adds.

You make a disgusted face. “I wouldn’t touch his phone.”

Max tells Dustin that three phones will work and the younger teen quickly takes off his backpack before sliding it onto the counter.

Steve narrows his eyes, looking at you with slight panic. “What is he doing?”

Dustin throws the backpack over the counter and Robin yells as the kid jumps over and lands with a loud thud on the ground. He brings down a pile of tapes as he does so, and Steve tears himself from your side to try and stop him, but it’s too late. The damage is already done and Dustin has sat himself at one of the computers.

“Dude! My tapes, what are you doing?” Steve cries, groaning as he bends down to pick up the ruined pile.

Robin glares at your brother as she huffs as well. You quickly hop the counter, an apologetic smile on your face, and bend down to help. “I’m sorry about him. He’s Dustin. That’s the only way I can explain his behavior.”

“I’m setting up base of operations here.” Dustin’s fingers fly over the keyboard, ignoring Steve’s distressed cries.

“Base of operations?” Robin looks at you, she likes you, she really does, but sometimes she hates Dustin. “Y/N, I love you, but I’m about to strangle your brother.”

You hand her a tape and blow a strand of hair out of your face. “Ya know, I get that a lot.”

“Stop, get off!” Steve pushes Dustin, but the kid is like stone at the computer. Max is beside him now, having chosen to walk around the counter like a normal person.

“I need it.” Dustin responds, not giving much else for an explanation.

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose and turns to you. “Y/N, please come get your dog.”

“He’s not my dog–”

“I need the computer for Eddie’s friends’ phone numbers.”

“Oh, you mean your new best friend that Y/N and I hate? The one you think is cooler because he plays your nerdy game?”

You step in between Steve and Dustin now. You’re getting really tired of being accused of hating Eddie. While it may not necessarily be wrong, hate is a strong word. “We don’t hate Eddie, you’re just dramatic, Steve.”

“I never said he was cooler than you guys,” Dustin tries to amend, finally looking at you and Steve.

Behind you, Robin slams a tape down while she rebuilds the ruined pile. “Seriously, you guys, maybe on a Monday you can play around here like toddlers, but it’s Saturday. It’s our busiest day.”

You help her pick up a dropped sign, feeling bad for disturbing their place of work so early. “I promise I wouldn’t take them here unless it was important, please don’t hate me–”

“What Y/N is taking too long to say is that this cannot wait until Monday.” Dustin jots down the numbers he ends up finding. Steve drops his head into his hands, exhausted.

Robin rolls her eyes. “I’m not blaming your sister, she’s an angel, but is calling Eddie’s friends really an emergency?”

“Correct!”

You drop your head onto the counter, defeated. Dustin is only making everything worse, like he normally does, and you’re tired. Steve stands next to you, allows a hand to fall onto the small of your back. Without thinking about it, he starts to rub soothing circles into your skin.

“Want me to strangle him or you want to?” Steve asks Robin.

“We could take turns.”

Not bothering to lift your head up, you leave your face smushed against the countertop as you speak. “Please don’t strangle him, my mom would be really sad and we can’t afford a funeral.”

“Can you just fill them in already, Y/N?” Dustin pokes your side.

“Fill us in on what?” Robin asks, exasperated.

Finally raising your head, you look at Max and swallow down any remaining uncertainty. The sooner you explain everything to Steve and Robin, the sooner you can find Eddie and figure out what the hell is going on. With Max’s help, the two of you give them an abridged version.

“The murder happened in Eddie’s trailer.” You begin.

“And the body was Chrissy Cunningham.” Max finishes.

Steve’s eyes widen. “What, so the freak killed her?”

“Unconfirmed.” Dustin snaps from the computer. He’s almost done writing down all the numbers.

“Not exactly. There’s some… details that we’re hoping to figure out, first. Before we go to the police about Eddie.”

Robin doesn’t like the way you say this. “What details?”

“The lights flickered in my house, I-I could feel static.” Max says, eyes downcast. Nothing else needs to be said, Steve and Robin understand immediately.

Now quiet, Steve’s hand finds yours. If it’s really happening again, he’ll be damned if he lets you go anywhere out of his sight. He’s not losing you. Surprised by the affection, you look and Steve and find that he’s staring down at you with so much tenderness in his eyes, even after you both maliciously hurt one another the night before.

It’s almost too much for you, the honey in his eyes that are meant for only you to see. Jonathan’s words from last night burn your skin.

Do you ever wonder if we’ve made a mistake?

Steve doesn’t know what’s been said. Neither does Nancy. How could you possibly tell them what he’s done? The line he almost crossed? After everything the four of you have been through together, the deep history that divides you, how can you settle the ruins that Jonathan left in his wake?

You can’t. Not without hurting everyone in the process.

You’re torn out of your thoughts when Dustin calls your name. He’s giving out instructions, ordering everyone to call Eddie’s friends.

“Y/N, you’ll call out the numbers we need to dial and write down any leads we get. Max, Robin, you’ll be with me on the phones. We need to figure out where he is, if he has any specific hiding places. Steve, you can bat your eyelashes at customers or whatever.”

Steve makes a disgruntled sound in the back of his throat and you squeeze his hand. “You heard the kid,” you lean against his chest, allow yourself to smile up at him. “Go bat your eyelashes, handsome.”

He laughs, and because he loves you, because he will always love you, Steve kisses the corner of your mouth, right where your smile line forms. It’s a quick, chaste kiss. Enough to remind you that he’s still yours, yet mindful of the fact that things may not be as easy as they once were between you. “Aye aye, angel.”

And then he’s gone, leaving you with such a rush of love for him within your bones. Later, when there’s time, you and Steve will talk, and he’ll still be yours and you’ll still be his.

Everyone gets to work after that. Max, Robin, and Dustin spread out around the store and begin dialing the numbers that you read off from the list. Their conversations are short, all filled with the same set of questions. There’s at least eight people to get through, but dividing them up helps.

Robin shouts at you to write down some kid named David who has a vacation home in Tennessee. Dustin tells you to cross off one of the phone numbers ending in 5823, apparently the guy and Eddie no longer talk.

Max, who stands the closest to you at the counter, hangs up the phone and turns to you. “I think I might have a lead.”

“Seriously?” Dustin spins around in his chair and Robin sets down her phone.

“Yeah, apparently Eddie gets his drugs from some guy named Reefer Rick–”

“Wait, Eddie actually sells drugs?” You thought that had only been a rumor, a stereotype from people who didn’t know any better. Why the fuck is a drug dealer hanging out with your fourteen year old brother? Alarmed, you grab Dustin’s arm and force him to look at you. “He hasn’t offered you any, right? I swear to God, I will stab his boney little body if he’s offered so much as even a whiff to you–”

Dustin rips his arm out of your grasp. “Can you not freak out for more than five seconds? Holy shit, no! He hasn’t offered me anything, he isn’t irresponsible with his business, he only sells to seniors.”

“So you knew he was a drug dealer?” You’re so going to kill Munson.

“Guys!” Max claps her hands, breaking up yet another fight between you and Dustin. “The drugs aren’t important right now, what we should be focusing on is the fact that Eddie sometimes crashes at Reefer Rick’s.”

Robin pats your shoulder and nods at Max’s words. “Okay, that sounds promising. Where does this Reefer Rick guy live?”

“That’s the thing. No one knows. He’s more of a… a legend than someone people actually know.”

“Well that doesn’t sound suspicious at all.” You mumble under your breath, but Dustin hears you anyway and elbows your ribs.

Ignoring your pained cry, he looks at Max. “What about a last name?”

“I don’t know that either.”

“Bet the cops know a last name.” Steve says, back turned to you guys as he organizes some tapes. Max asks him what he means and he finally walks over. “I mean, listen, if this Reefer Rick is actually a drug dealer, I guarantee you he’s been busted at some point. Means he’s in the system.”

Dustin throws his head back in annoyance. “The cops? That’s your suggestion?”

“I mean, at this point I think they should be filled in on what we know, what’s going on.” Steve defends himself, and honestly a part of you agrees with him.

Technically speaking, this is a lot to hide from the police. If this had been happening last year, you would’ve been the first to suggest telling Hawkins police about everything. But last year Hopper was alive, this year he’s dead. He’s gone, and the new chief wouldn’t understand or even bother listening to what you’d have to say.

Hopper would’ve believed you. He always believed you.

“The police won’t help,” you say, and Dustin is surprised you’re agreeing with him for once. “At least, not like they used to.”

“You think Eddie is guilty, don’t you?” Your brother accuses Steve, and a fight breaks out between them.

Steve brings up some weak point about believing in everyone being innocent until proven guilty. “I just, you know. I don’t think we can rule it out.”

“That’s precisely what we’re trying to do here, Steve.” Max points out, annoyed by all of this.

Dustin nods. “And maybe we’d have a little bit more luck if you spent less time ogling my sister and more time trying to find Eddie.”

You flick the kid’s head and Steve waves his arms out, defensive. “I wasn’t ogling her, and even if I did, I have every right to as her boyfriend! Besides, someone has to attend to the customers.”

“And by customers, you mean Y/N.” Robin teases, knowing she’s right.

“I’m right here, you know.” You don’t like this conversation, you don’t even know how everyone ended up here in the first place.

“Sue me for trying to find a movie for my girlfriend, alright? We’ve got a very big selection in here. It can be super overwhelming, even if I’ve worked here for almost a year.”

You tilt your head at Steve. “You were trying to find a movie for me?”

He blushes, suddenly shy. “I mean, yeah. Figured we could… watch something later?”

“I’d like that,” you tell him shyly. Things will be okay between you, they have to be.

Meanwhile, Robin types frantically on the computer, and Max asking her what she’s doing catches your attention. You walk over, lean down to stare at the screen in front of you. “Maybe we don’t need a last name,” Robin explains, pulling up the store’s video rental catalog.

A list of Ricks pop up, and you quickly realize what she’s doing. “Oh, you’re a genius, Buckley.”

“Tell me something I don’t know, pretty girl.” Robin smirks, showing everyone else the screen. “There’s twelve Ricks who have accounts here.”

“That’s a lot of Ricks,” Max remarks.

Robin nods, she expected this. “So, let’s narrow it down.” She clicks on the first Rick’s name and his movie rental history appears. “Rick Alderman’s latest rentals are Annie and Dumbo.”

“I doubt a drug deal would rent sensible children’s movies.” You say, and everyone agrees.

“Alright, Rick Conroy. Sixteen Candles, Teen Wolf, and Romancing the Stone.” In unison everyone says “no”, and Robin moves down the list. “Okay, Rick Joiner. Mask, Footloose, and Grease.”

You hum thoughtfully. “Grease, I like this Rick’s taste in movies.”

Dustin snorts. “But he isn’t the Rick we need.”

Finally, Robin lands on a Rick Lipton, who has rented three Cheech & Chong movies over the course of a week, and immediately you all know that you’ve found the right Rick. Robin looks up the address and Dustin observes that it’s out by Lovers Lake.

Lovers Lake. Where you and Steve finally got together.

As if thinking what you are, Steve’s hand finds the small of your back, where it permanently resides, and he shares a shy look with you. There’s fondness in his eyes, the memory from that night doesn’t burn him. The tension of your fight lingers, you both can feel it, but the memory of that July night causes you both to smile.

And it’s enough.

–

Steve is the one who drives, he’s always somehow the designated driver, and everyone crams into his car. You sit in the passenger seat, he doesn’t let anyone else sit there when you’re with him, and Robin complains from the backseat.

“One of these days I’m going to sit up front and no one will stop me.”

“You sat in the passenger seat yesterday morning, Robin.” You remind her, smirking when you see how squished she is between Max and Dustin.

“Minor details. Please drive quickly, Harrington. I think Dustin’s elbow is lodged between my third and fourth rib.”

Lovers Lake is far. The house is in the middle of nowhere, the perfect place to hide, so by the time you arrive there it’s dark. Steve keeps a few flashlights in his trunk, a precaution he’s adopted since befriending you and Dustin. He hands them out to everyone with the warning to stay close.

“I don’t want anyone slipping away, you hear me?”

“Okay, dad.” Robin shoves past him, causing Max to giggle, and you pat his chest in pity.

Dustin rings the doorbell, figuring if Eddie is really here then he’d want to see a familiar face. When no one answers, he starts to repeatedly hit the doorbell over and over again.

“Guess he’s not here,” Steve says after Dustin rings the bell for the hundredth time, but the kid ignores him and starts to pound on the door instead, now yelling.

“Eddie! It’s Dustin!”

Still no one answers, and you begin to think that maybe you’ve gotten it all wrong. There’s the woods, the abandoned Hawkins Lab, and a million other places to hide. Reefer Rick’s house may have been too far for Eddie to run off to.

Dustin calls through the door about how it’s just him and that there aren’t any cops. Robin tries to get a look inside the house through the window while you shine your light around the house. Max seems to get the same idea and the two of you wander over towards the side, trying to find another way in.

Only you don’t find another way in. Instead, you find an old boathouse down by the water’s edge. It’s huge, masked by the trees and house in front of it. Eddie has to be hiding out in there, then.

“Hey, guys?” Max gets everyone’s attention and points towards the boathouse.

Dustin is the first to start walking down, Robin and Max not far behind, and you stand back with Steve. “Yeah, sure. Let’s go into the creepy abandoned boathouse. Yay.”

“We’ve done worse, angel.”

You sigh. “It’s really depressing that you’re right.”

Slowly the five of you approach the building, there isn’t any sign of life. The door is unlocked, which is both a good and bad sign. Robin pokes her head in cautiously, calls out into the darkness. “Hello? Is anyone home?”

Steve walks behind you, guiding you gently with his hands. Everyone spreads out, Steve grabs an oar that he finds hanging on the wall. He shows it to you, raising his eyebrows as he silently asks if it could be of any use, and you nod. Following his lead, you flick your knives out, eyes catching on a boat with a tarp draped over it.

Wary, you point it out to Steve, and he understands. Raising his oar, he brings it down onto the boat with force, stabbing at the tarp. Luckily he doesn’t catch on anything, or anyone, but Dustin yells at him.

“What are you doing?” Then, seeing the glint of your knives, Dustin scoffs at you. “Seriously, you really think those little elbow stabbers are gonna help?

You raise them at him. “I stabbed Billy with them, don’t forget.”

Besides, like hell you’re taking any chances this time. Even if Steve’s oar isn’t the most ideal weapon, it’s still a weapon. You’re in an abandoned building with a killer on the loose. Neither one of you is willing to risk being defenseless, not after everything you’ve been through together.

“He might be in here,” Steve continues to stab at the tarp, and even you have to admit it’s overkill.

“Just take the tarp off!” Dustin says through clenched teeth. Steve tells him to take the tarp of himself and again they spiral into an argument. You watch with slight amusement. Some things never change.

Robin and Max find something over by the table, alerting you that Eddie may have been in here. Dustin waves an arm out in front of Steve, who’s still jabbing his oar into the boat’s tarp. “Don’t worry, Steve will get him with his oar.”

“I know you’re being funny, little Henderson, but considering the fact that everyone in this room has nearly died a hundred times, personally, I don’t find it funny in the slight–” A figure jumps out from behind Steve and grabs him. “Wait, wait, wait!”

“Steve!” You scream, extending your knives, following after them. The person shoves Steve into the wall, holds a broken glass bottle to his neck. Pressing yourself behind them, you bring your knife to the perpetrator’s face, digging its tip into his cheek. A mess of curly hair touches your face, the scent of leather infiltrates your nose. It’s Eddie.

“Eddie! Stop!” Dustin exclaims, struggling against Robin’s hold. To your relief, she isn’t letting him get any closer, which you’re thankful for. “It’s me. It’s Dustin. This is Steve, and the girl with a knife fixation is my sister Y/N. She’s not gonna hurt you, right, Y/N?”

“Let go of him,” you sneer into Eddie’s ear, pressing your knife deeper into his face. The blade nicks the crest of his cheekbone, blood drips down, but you don’t ease the pressure. He has Steve in a chokehold, he could slice his neck any second.

Steve sees that you’ve cut Eddie and he knows you’re seconds away from gutting the guy, which would only escalate the situation. He needs you to be safe, he’s afraid that Eddie will turn the glass bottle towards you instead. “Y/N, angel. Look at me, I’m okay. Drop the knife, and I’ll drop my oar, alright?”

You hesitate, and Dustin screams at you to do as you’re told. Your eyes flicker between Steve and Eddie, lingering on the bottle that is pressed even deeper into your boyfriend’s neck now. A thud echoes in the room, Steve drops his oar. He looks at you again, his eyes pleading, and you reluctantly flick your wrist to put the blades away.

The moment your knives are gone, Steve lets out a pained groan. Eddie only tightens his hold on him and the glass cuts his skin. In a heartbeat your hand fists through Eddie’s long hair and you pull. Hard. He sucks in a breath, clenches his teeth, and finally looks at you. “Cut him, and I will kill you.”

“She’s cool! I promise she’s cool!” Dustin shouts from across the room, doing everything he possibly can not to get both Eddie and Steve killed. He doesn’t worry about you, he knows you can handle yourself. He’s more concerned that you’re about to have blood all over your hands.

“If you let me go,” Steve chokes out, careful not to move his mouth too much and cut his throat. “Y/N will be cool.”

Eddie doesn’t ease up, and neither do you. Despite the awkward angle of his head, he leers down at Steve. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We’re looking for you,” Dustin tells him, taking a cautious step forward.

Robin now speaks up. “We’re here to help.”

“Eddie, these are my friends. You know Robin, from band.” She pretends to play the trumpet to ease the tension, but it doesn’t work. “This is my friend Max, the one who never wants to play DnD. And you know Y/N, she used to hang out with Jonathan Byers all the time and I always talk about her.”

“I know all about Hawkins’ sweetheart.” Eddie sneers, flinching only slightly when you pull his hair even more. “She isn’t so sweet now.”

Your other hand reaches towards your back pocket, towards your knives, and Dustin’s heart skips a beat. He needs to resolve this. Now. “Eddie, we’re on your side. I swear on my mother. Right, guys?”

Robin and Max both swear, and Steve chokes out, “Yes, we swear on Mrs. Henderson. She-she’s great. You’d love her.”

Eddie doesn’t respond. Seconds pass, although they feel like hours. His neck must ache from the way you pull against it, and you see him staring down at you from the corner of his eyes. A crazed smile of interest crosses his face, his gaze lingers on your figure, blood drips down from his cut. You watch his every move, and when Eddie finally releases Steve, you throw him aside.

“Are you okay?” Your fingers ghost over Steve’s neck, checking for any sign of injury. He’s panting heavily, finally able to breathe again now that there isn’t a sharp edge grazing his neck. Your touch is gentle, your hands shake, and you hardly even register that Robin is next to you.

“I’m okay,” he breathes out, rubbing his neck. His shaking hands find yours, steadying them with your interlocked fingers. Mindful of the fact that Robin is present, he kisses the backs of your hands. “I’m all fine, angel. I promise.”

You want to carry him away, out of this town, away from anything that can harm him. You want to tuck him somewhere far away, where no one will ever find him again, alone with only you, safe and sound.

But you can’t. Instead, all you can do is sit next to Steve, caressing his hair as your body slowly attunes to his again.

Eddie is crying a few feet away, his threatening persona long gone. His entire body shakes, his eyes are dark with haunted memories. Dustin crouches down next to him, and Robin joins. Softly, as if talking to an injured animal she doesn’t want to scare away, she tells him, “We want to know what happened.”

“You won’t believe me.” Eddie sniffs, sounding completely and utterly broken. Something horrible happened to him last night, something that will haunt him forever. The way he holds himself, how small he tries to become, how he shakes violently. They’re all signs of trauma, not guilt or remorse. He didn’t kill Chrissy.

Taking pity on Eddie, you reach out and rest a hand on his shoulder. He’s startled by your touch, only moments ago you held a knife to his face, and now your hand warms his body. “We’ll believe you,” you whisper.

He tells you everything. The details are gruesome, bloody and terrifying.

“Her body, it just… lifted into the air and,” Eddie’s voice breaks as he cries again, and a part of you wants to tell him that he can stop, clearly he’s in pain. “And she just, she hung there. In the air. And her bones, they-they–” He stumbles over his words, but he clenches his fists and forces the rest out. “Her bones started to snap.”

Your heart stops. You can’t imagine how horrifying that must’ve been to see. The image of Billy’s body pierced by the Mind Flayer is still burned into your retinas. The same will be true for Eddie with Chrissy’s body.

“And her eyes,” he shakes his head, he tries to get the memories away from him. “It.. it was like there was something inside her head, pulling.”

Eddie describes the sound of Chrissy’s bones snapping, the squelching pop when her eyes exploded. “I-I didn’t know what to do so I-I… I ran away.” He stares at the ground, you see his fists tighten, he’s angry with himself. Ashamed. “I left her there.”

“There wasn’t anything you could do, Eddie.” You tell him. Anyone would’ve ran away. He’s human for being afraid, and you hope that he hears you through all the unnecessary shame. You know, better than anyone, how hard it is to hear anything over the roaring rush of guilt that floods someone’s mind.

Eddie ignores you. “You all think I’m crazy, right?”

“No, we don’t think you’re crazy.” Dustin’s voice is gentle, softer than you’ve ever heard it. Eddie yells at him, he thinks you’re all playing some cruel trick on him. He’s stuck in a state of flight, panicked and ready to flee, and Dustin lowers his voice even more. “Look, what I’m about to tell you might be a little… Difficult to take.”

You sit next to your brother, everyone else stands behind the two of you as you face Eddie. Dropping your voice to its own soothing, comforting lilt, you lean in closer to the scared teen and offer whatever solace you can give him. “It’ll be difficult, but I’ll be right here, okay?”

Eddie stares at you, his hardened expression softening little by little. “Okay.”

Dustin takes a deep breath. “You know how people say Hawkins is cursed? They’re not… way off.”

“There’s another world, hidden beneath hawkins. And sometimes it… bleeds into ours.” You reveal, careful to make your words as clear and concise as possible. Even after all these years, it still feels impossible to explain it all.

Dustin continues, beginning to explain the monsters that haunt Hawkins from the Upside Down. How you all thought they were gone, but that they somehow come back again and again. As your brother talks, memories flash before you. Billy’s death, Will’s disappearance, the darkness that infiltrated his tiny body. El, her powers. The Demogorgon, its cruelness and its tunnels.

Steve walks up behind you, your body falls against his, he draws you in.

“They’ve come back before, that’s why we needed to find you.” Dustin explains to Eddie.

Max steps forward as well. “If they’re back again, we need to know.”

Robin asks Eddie if he saw anything that night, Max asks if he saw any dark particles. Any indicators that you’ve come to learn that signal the Upside Down, but Eddie can only shake his head. Dustin presses him further, describes what the particles would look like, but it’s no use.

“No, man. There was nothing you could see, or-or touch.” Eddie’s voice is hoarse, you can see the exhaustion in his eyes, but his words catch your attention.

“Was there…” You swallow, your mouth has gone dry. “Did you feel static in the air? Like an electric pull, almost as if lightning was about to strike?”

Describing the sensation is easy, it’s the same feeling you’ve come to associate with El. Her powers, they have a magnetic pull to them. It’s hard to miss, easy to feel.

Eddie stares at you, and slowly, with hesitancy, he nods.

You fall back against Steve’s chest. Everyone else goes silent as the realization settles upon the room. It’s happening again. The dread crawls over your neck, settles into your throat. It will never end.

“She couldn't move. It was like she was-she was in a trance or something.” Eddie says, unaware of the despair surrounding everyone.

Dustin looks at you, his eyes reflect the grief that you feel. “Or under a spell.”

“Like El.”

He nods, before Eddie adds, “Or a curse.”

“Vecna’s curse.” Dustin says, eyes now on Eddie, and a cold chill creeps down your spine.

Steve asks who Vecna is, and upon hearing the name again, a pang rips through your head. Dustin explains who Vecna is, a character in Eddie’s DnD campaign, but you don’t hear any of it. You gasp in pain, the beginning stages of a migraine darken your vision and twist your stomach. Max notices, her eyes trail up your body and linger on the hand pressed against your head.

Lost in the pressure building within your skull, you don’t see the way Max almost seems to know what’s happening.

She doesn’t say anything.

⌑ series masterlist

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⌑ thank you for reading ! feel free to like, comment, reblog, or send in an ask so we can chat <3

#steve harrington x henderson!reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #stranger things #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things rewrite #slowburn #angst #bdyr #m's writing #a much less heartbreaking chapter #yall are welcome #(for now)

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nocasdatsgay · 13 days ago

Text

A Lesson in Heartbreak

Part 3 of 3: Where You’re Supposed to Be

Pairing: Azriel/Eris/Reader!F | Rating: T | word count: 6458

Neapolitan Bonds Masterlist | Part 2 | Read on AO3 Here

Summary: Eris and Azriel talk. You come back to Autumn and the three of you have to face each other and mend the heartbreak between you.

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, Depressive thoughts, reconciliation.

A/N: Hi… this is a long time coming. I was depressed and this was emotionally hard to write. I apologize for taking so long. I doubt it will come off as angsty as it felt writing it but I finished it. I hope you all enjoy it.

Tagging: (I am hoping I got everyone): @myromanempiree @pit-and-the-pen @lilah-asteria @crazylokonugget @st4r-girl-official @thisblogisaboutabook @paleidiot @div94 @tele86 @chaos-on-stand-bi @bobbyisbored @ysmtttty @romantasyreader28 @azrielsshadows42 @stargirlrchive @scarsandallaz @paintedbyshadows @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @acourtofbatboydreams @ninthcircleofprythian @secret-third-thing @theicarustoyourcertainty2 @hieragalbatorixdottir @daycourtofficial @prythianpages

Eris woke with a pounding headache. His forehead throbbed so hard he could barely open his eyes. He also felt a weight over him that wasn’t a blanket. Despite the pain, he forced his eyes open. Beside him was Az, still seemingly asleep. Eris didn’t want to wake him but also didn’t want to lie there much longer. Of course when he moved out from under him, Azriel made a noise, his wings closing and he looked over at him.

“Morning,” he whispered and rubbed his eyes.

“Morning.” Eris groaned as he pushed himself up. He was silent for a moment and whispered, “I thought I dreamt you came back.”

“Of course I came back.” He looked over and saw Azriel rubbing his own eyes. “I didn’t even drink and I feel like shit. Where’s that tonic Edith makes?”

Eris gave him a withered look. “There would be some in the cabinet if someone didn’t take it every time they felt terrible.” Az rolled onto his back and glared at him but didn’t respond. “I’ll get some brought up.”

“Then we talk.”

Eris tried not to wince when Az said that as he got out of bed. He simply nodded. It was the least he could do. Eris looked down at himself and realized he was still in yesterday’s clothes. He would need the bed changed and made up before you came back- if you came back. Head still pounding, he grabbed a sheet of paper and wrote a note to Edith, sending it away with magic. By the time he had returned from the bath and changed, there was a tonic waiting for him on the table. Az seemed to have taken his, if the empty bottle next to it was any indication.

Eris took it and sighed as the pounding faded, leaving him with a mental clarity and a knot in his stomach. He went over to the table and wrote another quick note to Rowen, asking to take over whatever meetings he had for the next few hours. The paper returned with a quick confirmation and Eris braced himself to leave the bed chambers. Az was waiting in the sitting room, looking out the window from his chair. Eris couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this- nervous; a foreign word to someone who has been through what he had these past centuries. He took a seat across from Az and waited. There was a moment of silence between them, before Az finally looked over at him.

“Did you mean what you said?”

Eris forced himself to look him in the eyes. “Yes.”

The hurt on Azriel’s face made his chest ache. He shuffled in his chair, wings behind him tightening into his back.

“I would have never asked for any of that if I had-“

“I know,” Eris said quickly.

The pain in Az’s gaze did not lessen. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“I can’t bring myself to tell you no. You were so enamored with the idea of a third mate. I eventually became numb to it.”

Azriel’s eyes searched his own, a question without asking. “You regret it.”

He shook his head. “Regret isn’t the word I would use.”

“Then what do you call it?” Az snapped back.

Eris opted for honesty. “I thought you’d leave.” Az went very still. “Elain said there was a third bond. She never said it was for both of us. I was shocked when it snapped for me too.”

“Why would you think that?”

“I didn’t deserve a second mate.”

“And I do?” Az’s voice raised, still dumbfounded at what Eris was saying.

“More than me.” He shrugged. “You made that very clear last night.” Az recoiled and Eris raised his brow. “Did you mean it? What you had said?”

The shadows came out, as if hearing the slight challenge in his voice. Az thought for a moment and looked him in his eyes.

“I did. When the bond first snapped for us, I didn’t want it. Being who we are, who we were, it was hard.” Eris could see the glint in his eyes, shadows wiping away the tears that threatened to spill over. “And I meant what I said when I came back. I mean it. I will always choose you. Because I do love you.”

Eris ignored the burning in his own eyes. In a soft whisper, he replied with those first vows he took. “Til the end of our days.”

A moment of silence and Az whispered. “We said that to her too.” Guilt welled in Eris’s chest. “If we want her to come back, we can’t just push her away.”

”I know,’ his tone was harsher than he intended. “I know that.”

“Then why do you act like it’s so hard?”

It was Eris’s turn to recoil at the accusing tone Azriel used.

“It just is.”

”No, it’s not.”

”Not for you,” Eris’s tone was cruel, so much that the shadows raised and arch like they would strike him.

“Then explain it.” Az demanded back. “Do you even love her?”

“Of course I do! That’s the problem.”

“Then why would you say that?”

“You don’t understand how difficult it is. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Can you try?”

They sat in silence for a long time. How could Eris put into words the problem was he loved both of them so much it hurt. He felt like he couldn’t even breathe half the time he looked at you. Azriel, he was more used to- but there were moments he’d see his mate out of the corner of his gaze and his heart still stopped in his chest. It was ridiculous and childish. And with you- with you it was so much worse. Eris could feel the heat in his cheeks.

“When the bond snapped between us it was familiar. I knew exactly what to expect and how to handle it.”

“So with y/n you can’t?” Az looked at him skeptically.

“Azriel, I can’t even look at her without wanting her.”

“That’s because she’s our mate.” Eris shook his head and Az looked dumbfounded. “It’s hard for me too, you know. It’s only been, what? Two years since accepting it?”

“Three.”

“Do you remember what it was like when it was just us?” Eris scoffed and Az frowned. “You were a new high lord on top of it. Blew out the fireplaces way more times when we first mated than when we mated-“

“You don’t have to remind me.” Eris winced, shoving down the embarrassment. “But I pushed you away. You gave me space. We controlled ourselves.”

“We had a decade and a half to do so as mates.”

”I should have more control-“

”We have two mating bonds each, Eris. One is still fresh.” Azriel scoffed and shook his head. “All this because you’re acting like a mate should.”

“I am a High Lord,’ Eris snapped. “I cannot afford distractions. I gave myself one year, which was what I gave us. It’s unacceptable for me to be acting like this.”

”It’s just dinner.”

”Not when I want to fuck her on the table.”

Azriel’s eyebrows shot up. He looked Eris over and his scent shifted just slightly. Eris couldn’t be bothered to be embarrassed.

He finally asked, “should I be jealous?” Eris didn’t reply. “You never tried to fuck me on the dining table.”

“Normally I want you under it.” Eris ignored Az’s jaw twitch. “Like I said, It’s easier to ignore it with you.”

Az’s brows furrowed. “I don’t know if I should be offended or not.”

“I told you that you wouldn’t understand.”

“You’re right. I don’t. Because if I want to fuck, I just do it.”

“Because you can. I cannot.” Eris stood in frustration, arms crossed and fingers gripped into his own biceps. “I’m High Lord of Autumn.”

Az laughed. He laughed and leaned forward onto his knees, rubbing his eyes. Eris ignored the pang of hurt in his chest. He knew Az wouldn’t understand but to laugh?

“Eris,” he said, catching his breath and wiping his eyes. “You’re right. You are High Lord. You can do whatever you want.”

Eris frowned. “I have an obligation to the court-“

“You have other people to do these things, Eris.” Azriel was now on his feet, hands moving and shadows whirling as he talked. “You don’t have to be at every single meeting! You don’t have to look at every itinerary. You purged the rot out of this court. I know because I helped you do it. If you can’t trust the people you hand picked to help run this court, then we need to reevaluate the court.”

Eris frowned. “I’ve done that. It’s not- it isn’t about running the court.”

It was true- he’d let go of his court duties to throw himself into his work for this upcoming summit. It mattered to him greatly that this went well. Azriel’s hand dropped to his side, head tilted and brows furrowed.

“Then what is it?”

“You wouldn’t understand.” He repeated. “You are my mate but you are not High Lord. The Autumn Court isn’t like the Night Court.” Az recoiled a little. “I do not mean that disrespectfully.”

Az frowned but didn’t reply. Eris hoped he would leave it be. Eris glanced out the window and he finally spoke again.

“Did you get a letter from her? While I was gone?”

“No.” A pang of guilt echoed in his chest. “Her friend replied. Said she would give her the letter but wouldn’t pressure her further. She will return when she’s ready.”

Gods, did Eris hope his own words were true.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You spent two more nights in Summer. You wouldn’t leave the room. Samira came to see you throughout the day so you won’t eat alone. The third day she barged in and demanded you have breakfast with her. The moment you stepped out of the room, a lone shadow crept up your body, curling under the collar of the loose shirt you were wearing. You had immense guilt for making it wait outside for three days with no access to you. Yes, you needed the space, but that didn’t make it better.

Tarquin was waiting for you both in the small dining room. She neglected to mention he would be there. You cut your eyes to her and she shrugged with a grin. It was the first time you’d seen him since arriving. Dressed in a deep blue and white robe, he had not changed since you last saw him. He greeted you warmly and offered a chair near him and across from Samira.

“Thank you, Tarquin.” You said softly, taking your seat. “Your hospitality is greatly appreciated.”

“You’re always welcome in Summer. Though I wish it was under better circumstances.” He replied with a warm smile.

You winced at that. “I owe you a great favor.”

“You owe me nothing. You are Samira’s dearest friend. She’s learned by now I’ll give her almost anything she wants.” He added with a chuckle.

“Almost is the key word in that sentence,” she added.

“I still thank you for your accommodation.”

“And you are welcome.” Tarquin gestured to the food. “Shall we?”

The perk of staying in summer was the food. Fresh melons were always served no matter the time. The greens were leaner than Autumn’s hearty root vegetables. Seasonings were drastically different. You took a poached egg with spinach and red sauce onto your plate along with what you were certain was a cheesy bread. Though Samira made you eat something, this was the first full meal you’d had in days.

“Have you been to the new south wing?” Tarquin asked.

“Not yet.” Samira answered for you, cutting her eyes at him.

“It’s okay,” you couldn’t help but smile at your friend’s defensiveness. “This is the first time I left the room.” You admitted.

He gave you a soft smile. “I see. If you are up to it, you should go visit it. We started a gallery for the schools. Students decorated it with their works.”

“That sounds lovely.”

A rustling of paper beside you drew your attention. You looked just in time to see the tail end of a wisp slither under the table. The envelope beside you was the one you’d received the night you arrived. The one you’ve been ignoring. You rolled your eyes and snatched it up, ripping along the fold to open it.

“Apologies,” you said to Tarquin and Samira, “someone is impatient and will not let me eat breakfast in peace.”

You knew you looked ridiculous, scolding something they couldn’t see. But you knew the shadow heard you, if the cool touch around your ankle was any indication. You pulled out the paper. It smelled like Autumn. It smelled like Eris. You ignored the pang in your stomach and unfolded.

Love. I do not fault you for leaving. I ask for you to return when you are ready. This is not something that can be resolved through letters. I know you are safe in Summer. I simply request that you let us know you are well. Azriel is beside himself; his shadows cannot get to you. Another pang of guilt hit you. As is your right. You could feel the pause before the next sentence in your mind despite there not being a gap. It’s disingenuous to apologize here. You deserve an apology in person. Until then, I will push out the timeline of the summit-

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you said aloud. You blinked and flushed looking over to Tarquin and Samira. Tarquin looked away; Samira gave you an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry.” You took a deep breath.

“Is that?” Samira looked at the paper and then back to you.

“Yes.” You cut your gaze to Tarquin. “Tarquin have you received any cancellations for the summit?”

Tarquin’s eyebrows raised. “Yes,” he said slowly. He looked as if he was still processing your question. He added, “Well, I just saw a letter this morning from Eris. I can assume it was about the summit.”

“I see,” you pursed your lips for a moment. “Tarquin. I thank you for allowing me to stay. And for providing such good accommodations.” You sighed. “It appears I’m needed in Autumn. They will not be postponing this summit if I have anything to do with it.”

You stood, stuffing down your true anger to keep your head in the moment. You stood, grabbing the letter and envelope. You frowned at the feeling of the shadow curling around your left ankle. You knew it wasn’t its fault but as it was a part of Azriel, you still were annoyed at the touch.

“I hope to see you both again under better circumstances. The summit preferably.” You knew your smile was tight and forced but couldn’t do anything about it at the moment.

“I’ll go with you and see you off,” Samira gave you a sympathetic look.

You nodded and gave Tarquin a nod.

He nodded back. “Hope to see you at the summit as well.”

You then turned and left, moving faster than intended in an effort to get to your things. And to get out the excess energy your frustration had caused you.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tarquin watched you leave the dining room and Samira stood to join you. Her hesitation had him glancing over to her. She was staring at him skeptically.

“You have not received any such letter,” she whispered.

Tarquin shrugged. “She doesn’t need to know that.”

“Who’s side are you on,” she put her hands on her waist, her dark braid flipping forward over her shoulder.

“If you were to ever run away to Autumn, I would like to think Eris would return the favor.” Tarquin could not hide his smirk.

You were equally if not more stubborn than Samira. He knew you would have stayed for a month without the right motivation. And from what Samira had told him- it only seemed fair. She gave him a stern look.

He added, “she is more than welcome to return, Mira. I promise.”

He reached over and took her hand to kiss her knuckles. That softened her stance.

“I’ll see her off. But if she returns even more upset, I’m blaming you.”

“Understood my sunrise.” He bit back a smile watching her leave.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Your anger dissipated the second your feet landed in Autumn soil. The crisp air filled your lungs, relaxing you immediately. You stood before the entrance to the house, sun shining through the trees and leaves casting shadows. In those shadows you saw movement. Az’s shadows swarmed up to you, swirling at your feet. Worse than the hounds, they swirled up and around your legs, presumably excited you were home. You shoved down the sadness you felt knowing they missed you. Which most likely reflected the state your mates were in.

You stepped through the wards, magic washing over you. Shadows dispersed and another step forward the doors flew open.

You inhaled sharply, gaze locked as Az stumbled forward. Your chest tightened and eyes watered. You willed yourself not to cry. Az stopped at the steps and Eris walked up beside him. Gods you wanted to run up those stairs right to their arms. You refrained. Instead you held your head high and blinked the tears away. They watched in silence as you walked up the steps.

“Where are the guards?” You asked, breaking the tense silence.

You didn’t ascend the stairs.

They both stared at you.

“We weren’t expecting anyone,” Eris' voice was so soft you almost didn’t hear it.

A flicker of motion at Az’s side had your gaze dropping. His hands squeezed into fists. Just as quickly his shoulders slumped and wings dropped. You glanced back to see silver lining his eyes. He whispered your name. It felt like he reached into your chest and squeezed.

You shook your head. “Don’t.” Your resolve was failing you but you forced your voice steady. “Let me come in. Then we talk in the small common room.”

Azriel’s face crumbled with hurt but Eris understood. He gently pulled at Az, guiding him back inside. You nearly collapsed the second they were out of your site. You didn’t know how you would get through this if just seeing them made you want to double over in tears. You wiped your eyes and sniffed. You can do this. You told yourself. You took a last deep breath, grounding yourself before you took that first step up the stairs.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Az was drowning. Or, at least it felt like it.

You were right there- at the foot of the steps, still in summer clothes, the smell of the sea carried up on the wind from where you stood. He didn’t believe it until he felt the wards move. He was in such a rush, he didn’t even winnow. He pushed at least two dignitaries out of the way to get through the halls. Now Eris was leading him away, deliberately warm hands the only thing grounding him. Az didn’t realize they were in the common room until Eris clicked the door shut.

“She was right there,” he whispered, vision blurring again. He blinked profusely and crossed his arms. He looked to Eris who was watching the door. “How do we even know she’s coming?”

She walks towards us. A shadow reassured him.

His heart was pounding in his ears while his gaze focused on the door. A moment later it opened and his heart leapt into his throat. You slipped inside, rogue shadows swirling around you while you clicked the door shut. You were so close; he could see the darkness under your eyes and guilt twisted in his gut. You looked between him and Eris.

“Sit, please,” you said.

Azriel didn’t want to sit. Shadows shoved him and forced him to move. It was ironic that the three of you sat in this room five years ago. You were a stranger then. Az didn’t even have to beg Eris to meet with you. Deep down he knew you were the one he was looking for, what he thought Eris was looking for too. He tried to not let the truth taint the memory. You remained standing, arms crossed tight against your chest. He could hear your heart beating with how silent the room was. You finally dropped your arms, and stood straight.

“You canceled the summit?” You asked and glared directly at Eris.

“No,” he replied curtly.

“You said in your letter you would. And then Tarquin told me you had sent correspondence.” You pursed your lips like you always did when angered and added, “Recant the letters. Like hells I’m going to let you cancel this after the mess it’s caused.”

Azriel glanced at Eris who looked as confused as he did. Azriel could hear the lift of Eris’s brow as he responded.

“I did not send any letters to Tarquin. All of my letters were diverted to your friend.”

Now confusion etched itself in your face. “But he-“ you looked off thinking and then scowled. “He fucking lied to me, that asshole.”

Az snorted. He couldn’t help it. Tarquin lying was unheard of. And to lie in Azriel and Eris’s favor? The notion was ridiculous despite that being the logical answer. You cut your eyes at him and Az stilled, waiting.

“It doesn’t matter,” you shook your head. “I only came back because I thought you canceled the summit.”

“What?” Az felt like a knife twisted in him.

“I,” you crossed your arms and clenched your jaw. Defensive. “I should go.”

“No.” Az was out of his chair and went to grab you. A warm hand grabbed his arm. Too many emotions were swelling in his chest. “Please. You just came back.”

“And I shouldn’t have.” You whispered.

There was pain there. It made the bond to you ache. He tried to claw at it, to force you to open your side. It didn’t work.

“How can you say that?” His own voice cracked but he didn’t care. He tried to pull his arm out of Eris’s grasp but his mate held fast. He turned to him with a glare. “Let me go, Eris.”

Eris ignored him. “You don’t have to stay,” he said softly. “Not if you don’t wish to.”

Siphons flared again as Az wildly turned to Eris, teeth bared “No.”

“I will not hold another female in this court against her will.” Eris hissed back. “My mother was held captive here for half a millenia. I won’t allow it to happen again.”

Az knew he was right but the bond in his chest squirmed. He looked back at you. You took a step back, probably out of fear. Shame replaced the emotions warring in him.

“Please.”

In the span of a moment, your stance shifted. Magic started to hum around you. Azriel flinched. You were angry. Very angry.

“Why!” You tightened your arms against your chest. “Why should I stay? You don’t need me. I don’t even know why you’re pretending like you even want me here.” Az felt frozen in place, like he couldn’t breathe. Angry tears fell down your cheeks. “Why spend time with someone you don’t want or need?”

Az fell to his knees, Eris’s hands still tight on his arm. His shadows had disappeared- to where he didn’t care.

“Baby, please.” He would beg. He would grovel. He didn’t care. You couldn’t leave. Not again. He muttered your name and tears fell down his own cheeks. “Please. We need to talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you wiped your eyes.

“This is my fault.” Eris let go of Az’s arm, stepping in front of him. “I shut you out. I thought it was the right thing to do. I’m clearly wrong.”

“What did I do?” You sniffled and wiped frantically at your face more. “What did I do wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, love.” Eris stepped closer and Az held his breath waiting.

“Clearly I did! I’ve been going to bed alone for months!” The sob you let out cut Az’s heart nearly in half. “I barely see you. I barely talk to you. Neither of you so much as touch me. I thought you both needed space but when you promised, you promised, to meet for dinner neither of you showed.”

“And I’m sorry.” Az whispered. He had no excuse. Not really. A fact he had to face now that you were here and hurting. “I thought-“

“You thought what?” Your anger resurfaced. “That I would be fine? Or did you even remember I existed?”

He winced, dropping his gaze to the floor. What could he even say to that?

“It’s my fault.” Eris repeated. “Be angry at me.”

“I am!”

Az finally forced himself up. You stepped back again at the movement. He forced himself to focus, to shoved down all noise in his head.

“I don’t know what else to say to make you believe that I’m sorry. That we’re sorry.” His voice was shockingly steady. “I can’t force you to stay if you truly don’t want to.”

He expected you to leave. To be even more aggressive. He could weather it.

He didn’t expect you to fall apart.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You couldn’t take it anymore.

Eris and Azriel both stared at you, silently pleading with their fucking eyes. You tried to be strong. To hold your ground. Even when Az was clawing at your bond. Even with Eris begging you to place the blame on him.

But it hurt too much. You caved in on yourself, sobbing in the middle of the fucking receiving room.

“You only want me here because of the bond,” you choked out. “You don’t. You don’t need me. You don’t.”

Az grabbed you.

You cried harder at the sudden feeling of his arms wrapped around you. He let you sob into his tunic, his scent already calming you even if you didn’t want it to. You felt the shift- he winnowed you somewhere. His hands moved lower and lifted you up. When was the last time he’d held you? You didn’t fight it. Shadows blocked your vision as he carried you a few steps before turning with you to sit down. He held you in silence, while your tears tapered off. Occasionally his hand would rub your back. Gods did you miss him, this. But this wasn’t what you planned. You wiped your eyes and forced yourself up. Hazel eyes you hadn’t looked into in days met yours.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” Gods, would you ever stop crying? Your face felt swollen. You probably looked like a mess. “Where…”

You looked around. You were in your rooms. He had sat you both on the bed. Something inside you relaxed. Then your gaze found amber, bright and steady at the end of the bed. You suddenly felt shame- for losing your cool, for crying on Azriel. You moved off of him quickly.

Eris got to his feet. “Don’t. Love, please. It’s alright.”

You stopped and swallowed hard. You glanced between them both. Eris blocked the way out. Az moved to sit up properly on the bed. You were cornered and your eyes watered again. Eris relaxed his stance but held out his hand.

“I can run you a bath.” Your bond to him ached. You missed his soft tone. “Or we can go to the sitting room and talk.”

Talk.

What was there to talk about? But his eyes pleaded with you silently. You nodded but didn’t take his hand. A slight you couldn’t remedy in time as he lowered it, fingers balling into a fist. You followed him out, Az behind you. The scent of them, of your rooms eased the tension in you. Now all that was left was sadness. You went straight to your arm chair, arms crossed tight against your chest again and legs tucked up against you. Az and Eris remained standing. The silence was heavy like the closed bonds in your chest. Eris and Az were looking at each other. Like they always did. Talking with their eyes in a way you couldn’t and hadn’t mastered. You couldn’t even bother to be angry about it.

“I’ll go get some tea. It’ll help with,” Eris trailed off, looking at you with his sad eyes. “I’ll be back.”

“No.” Eris stopped before he started, looking back at you puzzled. You scoffed. “Make Az do it.” You cut your gaze to your other mate. “Go make tea. Since you follow orders so well.”

“Y/N-“

“No. You were going to make tea while Az stayed here and calmed me down. Am I wrong?” Neither of them spoke. “Then you won’t have a problem with Az going.”

“Okay,” Az said, defeat in his voice.

Eris clenched his jaw and after a moment Az left, shadows trailing behind him. Now you were alone with Eris for the first time in months. The silence between you was even heavier. He finally sighed, and looked at you directly.

“Y/N, I am-“

“Sorry?” You supplemented quickly. He frowned but did not move. For some reason that made you angrier. “You say you’re sorry as if it matters.”

“It does matter.” He said harshly. “What do you want me to do, Y/N? What can I do to prove to you I am sorry?“

“Tell me what I did wrong.”

You wanted to be angry. You wanted to spit out those words with venom. But all that came out was more tears and a meek tone.

“Love, you did nothing wrong.”

“Then why don’t you love me like you love Azriel?” You sniffled.

“Y/N.” He fell back into a chair as if you’d actually struck him.

“I’ve tried so hard to be someone you wanted. And nothing I do is good enough.” Your eyes were hurting from how much you were rubbing them. “I’ve spent three days trying to figure out where I went wrong, what changed.”

“Nothing changed. That is the problem!” You blinked, shocked that Eris had yelled at you. He leaned onto his knees with his face in his hands. “Neither of you understand how hard this is.”

You curled up in the chair and watched him silently. More still from shock than fear. He finally wiped his face with his hand, pushing it into his hair as he sat back up. His eyes were tinged red, like he wanted to cry.

You’d never seen Eris cry before.

His gaze met yours and he scowled, jaw clenched. You still didn’t speak. He finally relaxed his shoulders and spoke.

“It’s not,” he paused again. Looking up and away, like he was trying to keep himself together. “Five centuries of hiding affection doesn’t go away in a decade. Azriel is different because he,” Eris took a deep breath. “I can push him away. I can let the hardened mask stay on even after the room has cleared. I can push away this,” he held his hand over his chest like he was touching his own soul, maybe the bond. “Want. I can hide it. I can tame it. I could the moment the bond snapped. But, the cauldron has damned me because with you I can’t.” His voice cracked. “And that is terrifying.”

What could you say to that? He sighed again, wiped his hand over his face again.

He added, “I’ve always gotten caught up in my work. It’s safer that way. It was always safer that way.”

The Mother was looking out for you, or maybe Azriel had been waiting for the right moment. Either way, he entered with a tray of tea and cups. He looked wearily between you and Eris while he sat the tray down. He made you a cup, putting exactly what you liked in it, and handed it to you. You hesitated- but not on purpose. You muttered your thanks and took it from him. The silence was heavy between the three of you as Az took his seat. He nor Eris reached for the tea. Az leaned onto his knees and sighed heavily.

“So can we talk about it?” He asked, looking at you directly.

You sipped your tea letting the warmth of it wash through you. Azriel looked so tired. They both did. Guilt started to churn in your stomach. Mostly because of Eris’s confession but partly because this whole situation was your fault. You held your cup tight like it was the only lifeline you had.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. You stared down at your tea, unable to look at either of them anymore. “I shouldn’t have left. I just thought you wouldn’t miss me.”

Cool shadows came in from your peripheral, wrapping up your arms. They did that when they thought you were upset. You were too tired at this point to be upset anymore.

“Why-“ Az stopped himself, clenching his jaw when you glanced at him. “Y/N, you’re our mate.”

“These past few months haven’t felt like it.”

They wanted to talk. You spoke the truth. Your words struck them both hard. You put the cup and saucer on the table beside you. Least you lose your grip on it. With nothing to hold you crossed your arms against your chest. The shadows moved but didn’t leave you. You continued.

“I didn’t think I was a female who needed time or touch. Not until you both stopped giving it to me.” Guilt still swarmed in you. “I should have told you sooner.”

“You tried to tell us, we did a poor job of listening.”

Az tried to crack a joke. The corner of your lips twitched a little. A glance at Eris told you he wasn’t as amused. Az sighed heavily, drawing your attention back to him.

“Do you really think we don't need you?” Az looked so hurt, you felt sick from it. You did that.

“I-“ Gods the tears were back. You blinked profusely. “You’ve been together for so long. Just because I’m your mate doesn’t mean I fit into your lives. It’s… obvious I’m still a disruption.”

Shadows recoiled from you, the solid dark wisps whipping around like they would hiss if they could. Azriel whistled to try and reign them in. They went semi- transparent and lowered themselves back down onto you. Gods you wanted them off. In a burst of over stimulation, your magic flared and pushed the shadows away from you. Az stiffened where he sat, watching the shadows slink back to him.

“I’m sorry. I-“ By the cauldron could you do anything right?

“It’s okay.” Az whispered.

The air was thick again- silence heavier than before. None of you were getting anywhere with this. Your mind became a quick tangle of worries- rapid thoughts one after the other, making you tense where you sat. You should leave. You weren’t needed. You should tell Samira to just make you a permanent resident of Summer. Ignoring a bond would be easier than breaking one.

“Y/N.”

You inhaled sharply, when warm hands touched you. You had stood up during your frantic thoughts. You were breathing heavily. Eris was in front of you- not unlike how he’d been when the bond snapped. His hand reached up and cupped your face. His thumb wiped away more tears.

“Let us in.”

You felt two gentle tugs in your chest. A lot different than the pulling and clawing from earlier. Reopening the bonds you kept shut for so long felt terrifying. Movement to your left caught your eye. Az was now beside Eris.

“Please?” Az’s eyes begged just like his tone.

You didn’t realize Eris was exaggerating his breath, breathing with you to calm you down. Slowly, breathing in and out gently, open your bonds. You would have collapsed if Eris hadn’t held onto you. Letting yourself feel them both, even slowly was too much. Your cold heart was suddenly flooded with warmth you hadn’t felt in months. Love. Love you’d forgotten was even there.

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed. You wrapped your arms around Eris’s neck and dug your fingers into his shirt. “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t speak, he didn’t have to. He carried you to bed, Az following behind him. The rest of the day was a blur of more tears and soft confessions, being held between your mates. You learned more about them in those hours than you had the last five years of being with them. You each had your weakness- you bottled up your grievances and let your thoughts rot in them. Eris did the opposite. He bottled up his love, hiding from you and Az when he didn’t have too. Burying himself in work to not seem weak. Az admitted his complacency, with how he would let things go unchecked. Just rolling slights and not addressing them fully.

You all agreed after a long warm bath that closing the bonds wasn’t working. It helped keep you all focused, but what good was that when you couldn’t feel your mates and them you? Even leaving them open a little wasn’t enough. You'd have to learn to function with it open. Eris only asked to wait until after the summit. He brought it up as he sat behind you, braiding and drying your hair. You’d changed into a soft nightgown and kept a cold towel pressed to your eyes.

“I do not need Az sending how he feels about me arguing with other high lords down the bond in the middle of a meeting.”

“It was one time,” Az was somewhere to your left, clearly offended. “I can’t help it, you're hot when you use your high lord voice.”

You snorted. Azriel wasn’t wrong. Eris muttered something behind you that you didn’t fully hear. Fingers pulled at the towel and you winced as the room came into view, lights and all. Azriel dipped the bed where he sat, shadows taking the cloth away.

You asked, “Do I look better?”

“You never looked bad,” Az smirked. His eyes ran over your face. “Your head shouldn’t hurt in the morning. If it does, we'll get Edith’s magic tonic.”

“Edith is going to revoke access to that tonic if you keep taking it for every little thing.” Eris tied the end of the first braid.

“Then it’s a good thing it’s for Y/N,” Az said with a sass in his tone.

You missed them. How could you ever think- you shut it down. No more tears for the night. For now, you let Eris start his second braid in your hair while Az spread out on the bed with his head in your lap. Exactly where you all were supposed to be.

#Neapolitan bonds #eris vanserra #azriel #reader x azris #acotar #a lesson in heartbreak #chapter 3 #angst with a happy ending #reconciliation

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