#this blog will be based on vibes and vibes alone

[i-am-creacheur]

okay listen. I get the urge to talk about my favorite life series ship like it's Canon in every season...BUT. THAT HAS NEVER ONCE BEEN THE CASE.

Yes, Jimmy would be upset if Tango canaried (technical scientific term for that). Everyone would be- even I would be, and I've never watched a single one of his videos. Canarying sucks, and it hurts. Of course I would be upset. THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I THINK JIMMY WOULD BREAK DOWN SOBBING FROM A CHARACTER STAND POINT. They have had only like... THREE on screen interactions. One is Tango murdering a man infront of Jimmy and another is Tango cheerfully burning down something one of Jimmy's teammates worked very hard on. WildLifeChara!Jimmy has more reason to hate or be afraid of WildLifeChara!Tango than to be madly in love with him.

I promise you, if Tango had offered Jimmy a life instead of Ren, people wouldn't shut up about for MONTHS. But, because it's Ren, somehow the interaction isn't NEARLY as homoerotic??? I understand having NOTP's, but the Jimmy/Ren ship doesn't even show up ONCE on ao3. Zero fics. ZE-RO. There's no reason to hate something that doesn't even exist.

This same concept applies for Flower Husbands as well- not just in Wild Life, and Secret Life and Limited Life and Last Life and Real Life though- in Empires.

I have no clue about Empires Season 1, but they barely interacted in Empires Season 2- and yet the amount of ship art I sift through on a weekly basis for my side blog is actually insane. Yeah, the few interactions WERE important, but I think Scott only flirted (in video) with Jimmy maaybbeeee three times. I have no idea what the count of that for streaming is, but I swear it is not enough to keep that number so inflated.

Although, honestly, this problem might just be affecting me because of my personal view on shipping- if it's in a context where it doesn't make sense for the characters to be romantically engaged, I won't read it or write it.

For example, my beloved Solidwood! I mostly get their vibes or read their fics from the following series: Evo, Last Life, New Life, Empires2, Secret Life. That's because those settings make sense! They are active, they are engaged, they have near constant interactions or very close base locations. It makes SENSE for them to be shipped. However, if you showed me art or fic of them in, say, Limited Life, I'd furrow my brow and tilt my head and say "no, that doesn't do anything for me." BECAUSE THEY HAVE ZERO REASON TO BE INVESTED ROMANTICALLY IN ONE ANOTHER THERE, AS A STAND ALONE SETTING.

Most of the major Jimmy ships, though, don't follow this rule. I can understand loving a ship so much you want to see it everywhere- but, I promise you, stepping back and looking at which characters actually have chemistry regarding the new setting and social system will do wonders... you won't have to think of new Au's to insert your favorite ship into a new setting... all ships will be your favorite ship (unless they give you the ick). Join the multishiper hivemind /j

No but honestly it's gotten to the point where I will like or dislike a creator/character of theirs by what ship is their most popular given the context of the setting. Like, Tango in Double Life? Awww the sweetie!! I love him :) and then Tango in Empires2 sets off alarm bells in my brain screaming at me. He is NOT meant to be here bringing that ship here, this is NOT its territory. Same problem for Scott in nearly damn near every SMP both Jimmy and him are in... except Wild Life because he's actually been pretty nice and not condescending or forcing on Jimmy. I guess also power imbalances in how fans view them is a major no-go for me...

Idk if you read this whole thing thanks I guess... for anymore needed context I am a Jimmy rarepair obsessed multishiper.

TLDR; Lots of popular ships are inserted into settings without a thought for what that would mean for the setting and any changes in the established social connections, which gives OP the ick. I'm also not policing ships I'm just begging people to please either understand more ships using in setting context or list their AU details in the summaries of the fics. This goes hand in hand with misinterpreting characters in writing also... the more ships you like the more characters you will get to get good at writing!!!!

[sodiren]

hello!! (^^)//

I'm making too many blogs at this point- i've created one more ahahah ;;;

this one is just to post about the songs i find- songs that get stuck in my head- songs I really like- all that jazz

I loop songs pretty often and for long periods of time so i think it would be funny to see- to record them for myself bwhahaghahga

[eldesperadont]

Matthew Lillard homoerotic murder twink role range:

is obsessively devoted to another man and helps him get away with murder (Stu Macher)

has men obsessively devoted to him help him get away with murder (Doug Van Housen)

[jensonsbuttons]

I was wondering do you know why Jenson chose to race with the number 22 in f1?

hello anon! the easiest answer is that in 2009, jenson was automatically assigned that number due to fia regulations and then once the fia said that drivers could pick their own number, he continued on with 22 since, ya know, he won the championship with it.

[legalownerofufoemoji]

MAN WHY DOES THE NEUTROIS FLAG GOTTA BE SO UGLY 😭😭😭😭 like thats SO DISAPPOINTING for a term I relate to so heavily

[imaginarianisms]

okay so i have. no idea when fire & blood part 2 is gonna come out so its. Very possible i could be wrong about a few things but here's a meta on m.yriah m.artell.

m.yriah m.artell was definitely in an interesting time period even before she became queen. i&. genuinely have no idea if she'd ever know queen daenaera velaryon or (big maybe) larra rogare or any of aegon's mistresses but i& think it's definitely possible considering we don't know if daenaera outlived aegon iii but it's very possible she did, who knows, maybe she was one of myriah's mentors in king's landing. she was around the time of aegon iv targaryen, aegon the unworthy, who's just. one of the actual worst rulers of the targaryen dynasty. iirc she was the eldest of the prince of dorne's children at the time so she was set to rule dorne much like princess a.rianne m.artell in our current story is, she was meant to rule & likely had that expectation, so when baelor targaryen comes along to speak with the prince of dorne once the crazy fucker finally arrives at sunspear, to agree upon a peace which included a marriage between his cousin prince daeron & myriah martell & the two would marry once they came of age, that probably really shocked myriah bc like imagine being expected to rule dorne one day & then you have to give up that right to become queen of all the seven kingdoms one day? that must've stung a bit, too, but it's also a MASSIVE undertaking. it's one thing to rule one kingdom, but seven? that's quite a lot. there had been many queens of westeros before, but myriah martell is the TRUE first queen of the seven kingdoms, because in all the previous reigns, dorne was never truly a part of westeros, it was its own independent kingdom, it had never bowed to the targaryens during aegon's conquest, they were the only kingdom that managed to fight off the targaryens & actually WIN or the previous conquest of king daeron i targaryen, dorne only came into the fold with marriage & diplomacy. so she probably had to learn about the non-dornish kingdoms & peoples as well before becoming queen. becoming this queen, however, Also involves marrying into the family that's attempted to subjugate & conquer your people since aegon the conqueror & his sister wives (& they ACTUALLY KILLED RHAENYS & A DRAGON BY THE FUCKING WAY). like. can you imagine how appalling it must be to marry into a family that felt superior to you & entitled to YOUR land. & keep in mind said bizarre inbred family is no longer the powerhouse they once were on the heels of the war that cost them their dragons & yet they learned nothing, even now. myriah joined king's landing at such an interesting time. she's supposed to usher in peace & prosperity to the realm but how do you Do That when Everything is working against you as a foreign princess.

bc keep in mind. the grandson of queen rhaenyra i targaryen just died attempting to subjugate HER country once more & was killed under a peace banner. a loss that demanded blood & caused outrage, despite the fact that daeron the young dragon lost over 10,000 lives trying to control a land that. Didn't Belong To Him. baelor the blessed was instrumental in creating peace arranging her very own arranged marriage alliance, her own son who was meant to be one of the greatest kings is named after him but dorne is Also where women have always ruled & baelor's three sisters were imprisoned against their will in the maidenvault for a decade. that must've terrified myriah (& it didn't help that baelor quite literally walked all the way to sunspear barefoot on the hot sands, she must've been like "father...... what is this man doing.... he's crazy"). i think just the stories she's heard of daena the defiant, rhaena, queen naerys, elaena & daenerys she'd hold a great deal of pity for them bc in dorne nothing of the sort would ever happen to them let alone naerys' abuse by aegon iv who i think later in life she would've gotten along with naerys as her daughter in law & tried to take care of her bc she's decent. i& genuinely think that even when she wasn't queen yet, she would've tried to bring more women into the fold & into positions of power. something we Do know canonically is the fact that daeron ii's court was disliked for being progressive/intelligent, pro women & pro dornish, who btw are poc, so the red keep at the time would be VERY inclusive & were likely pro sex work, pro disability & pro lgbtqia+/queerness because the dornish were known for accepting women's rights & elderly rights, the rights of people with disabilities & queer people, sex workers as well as same sex/same gender relationships & polyamorous relationships, elaena targaryen was the unofficial master of coin & was trusted with state matters for daeron ii & myriah & famously sided with THEM & not her sister's son during the first blackfyre rebellion & she could've been friends w/ elaena & not to mention myriah martell would be the first non-valyrian woman of color to become queen of westeros (there were black women who ruled before her notably {technically visenya targaryen & rhaenys targaryen who're mixed as their mother was valaena velaryon} alyssa velaryon, alysanne targaryen & daenaera velaryon, but they were all valyrian & the rest of the queens were presumably all white women). that's a MASSIVE deal. & not to mention the fates of the queens before her must've shocked her bc like literally none of that would've happened in dorne.

myriah was also a princess & queen to be under a father in-law who hated & attempted to take her country AGAIN even after she married his son. i honestly can't even imagine the amount of anxiety, rage & stress this would've caused myriah & i can't imagine she didn't have to swallow racist insult after racist insult from aegon iv. like. i almost wonder if some of the targaryens after the dance of the dragons, specifically king aegon vi, daeron i targaryen the young dragon, daena the defiant, etc. were desperate to get back some of their sense of superiority after their great house lost the source of their power, the dragons (by their own making. btw), & what better way to do that then to conquer the land that aegon & his sisters couldn't with even their own dragons. what better way to prove themselves Real Dragons TM & to prove their superiority. so when they were reduced to normalcy like yknow Literally Everybody Else that must've been a real hard pill for the targaryens to swallow lmao

this is the court myriah would have to contend with & this isn't even going into the fact that even Before she became queen, she & her children were considered unworthy for not being white paleskinned purple eyed blondes bc they were dornish & the court was Very Fucking Racist Towards The Dornish. going w/ the presumption that she was born in 146 AC, myriah would've been 24 when she had baelon, 26-30 (most likely 26) when she had aerys, 27-31 (most likely 27) when she had rhaegel & 28-32 (most likely 28) when she had maekar; daeron treated his half siblings well & yet they STILL go to war against HER queenship & the rights of her trueborn children after the death of aegon iv; myriah would've been 26 at least or 38 at most when he died (daemon blackfyre also married rohanne of tyrosh during this time & aegon legitimized all his bastards including daemon blackfyre, aegor rivers / bittersteel, mya rivers, gwenys rivers, brynden rivers / bloodraven & shiera seastar on his deathbed so myriah would've known them & she would've been 26-38 when she became queen, but i'm gonna go with the maximum possible age so she'd be a year younger than daena the defiant so she'd be 26 when she became queen) depending on which year she was born bc even that's unclear but if she was born in 146 AC, she would've lived through the reigns of aegon iii, daeron i, baelor i, viserys ii, aegon iv & daeron ii & very possibly even outlived her husband & if she was born in 158 AC she would've lived through the reigns of daeron i, baelor i, viserys ii, aegon iv & daeron ii & likely outlived her husband but for my sanity's sake i'm gonna go with the prediction that she was born in or around 146 AC if not maybe a few years after, idk yet, hopefully that gets confirmed. if she was born in or around 146 AC myriah would've been 7 years older than him; daeron ii died when he was 55 in 209 AC so she would've been 62 (if she was born in 146 AC) at most when he died so she definitely lived during the blackfyre rebellions era & very well could've lived in aerys i's reign (209-221) & maekar i's reign (221-233), idk, i like to think she lived just long enough to see aegon v become king & dying of natural causes when she was 79 years old as an elderly woman but fire & blood part 2 could prove me wrong, but she would've lived past alysanne targaryen. maybe she adopted daenerys after naerys died so she could make sure daenerys would be a good, clever & intelligent full fledged leader capable of ruling dorne like she herself was meant to & then later shiera seastar after serenei of lys died & it's because of that loyalty to her adopted family that she was loyal to the targaryens (& that could be a reason why maekar beefed with brynden bc he's protective over his adopted little sister while technically she's biologically his half aunt after her mother died & her father was an asshat & maekar is the youngest of daeron & myriah's children & shiera's the only little sibling he had so he's a grumpy older brother), who knows, maybe she mentored b.etha b.lackwood for a time before she's queen.

myriah would've had to be a spectacular & aweinspiring woman to survive & thrive under the circumstances she lived through, she & daeron had a healthy marriage despite so many things working against them & daeron ii built the castle of summerhall in her honor & the peace in westeros. she must've been bold, unflinching, intelligent, confident, sometimes even arrogant bc she Knows She's That Bitch, kind, clever & regal, embodying the very words of her house "unbowed, unbent, unbroken".

[shadowedresolve]

.......i caved. you can now find (an au portrayal of) aran over at @phantomtorched, my new sideblog where i'm temporarily placing p5x muses before we learn more about their official canon. help me.

[emypony]

.

[thunderon]

what a terrible time for me to remember that my roommate has a tumblr account and could theoretically find this post. *********** if you see this im sorry but it was funny and needed to be shared

so my roommate is completely straight edge like no drugs no alcohol etc and so im sure y’all can imagine my surprise when i saw she brought home this sign

so i immediately inquired

and now you may ask. what the fuck did my roommate think that sign meant? well

anyways i moved the sign so it’s now front and center in our living room and ive been laughing every time i pass it

[shadyapocalypse]

Made some trainer cards

[pressureplus]

this blog is the goat i love it sm :) totally get if it's too much but i'd love drunk seb headcanons. thnx ❤️

LOVELY, YOUVE GOT THE BIGGEST BRAIN ANON /POS

♡Drunk Sebastian Solace Headcannons♡

Warnings: Intoxication, Warnings to not Fuck The Fish™️, Brief Sexual Content

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟

First off, getting him drunk isn’t gonna be easy

His body is significantly bigger so it’ll take a lot more alcohol than a normal human person

That and he could already hold his drinks well, so it’ll take some work to get that man actually drunk instead of just buzzed

Don’t try to match him drink for drink, you WILL die of alcohol poisoning unless you’re an alcoholic

Which wouldn’t matter he’d still out drink you based on weight/size alone, so I guess try not to die is the only goal?

Doesn’t feel comfortable drunk around most people unless you’re BOTH that kind of tipsy or he’s already close with you

When you do actually get him drunk?

The flirtiest, giggliest drunk you’re ever met

Sebastian will laugh at literally everything, it makes him so much easier to talk with

The world is sunshine and rainbows as long as he’s really fucked up

Honestly? He deserves it. He’ll smile at you so softly and actually fully listen when you talk. Maybe he’s not the brightest, or most talkative, but he has weirdly good advice

Though he is super giggly and playful, he does flirt

Usually they’re kind of fun. They’re not meant to really invoke any real feelings

“Hey there hot stuff, you lookin for a chair?” As he pats a portion of his tail.

He WILL forget that he flirted with you later, so don’t try to corner him on it as some kind of gotcha moment. He won’t believe you.

It also doesn’t reflect his feelings entirely…well unless he really likes you.

He’ll get a bit tongue tied and may even let it slip that he thinks you’re just gorgeous

His flirting gets very personal if he has a thing for you, but it’s less frequent because the man is too busy squirming from just sitting with you

Think flustered school girl energy

If he likes you he will do ANYTHING you ask

Please don’t try to fuck the fish, he isn’t very smart and he’s not gonna be able to top you

You’d have to do 100% of the work, and he wouldn’t remember most of it tomorrow anyway

He will probably just fall into a fit of giggles at the offer, honestly, so the likelihood of it happening is like nothing

So unless you’re both so drunk you’re not thinking straight? Don’t do it. Dont even try it.

If he doesn’t like you in that way? You might actually die for attempting it. It’s not worth it.

Speaking of not worth it, that man loses so much motor function. His tail is apparently weirdly hard to control all the way

Will prefer to just sit with you and not go anywhere as he will not have the control necessary to do damn near anything

He tried only once to go do something while really fucked up

Stupid fishman got stuck in a vent for a few hours

Worst experience of his life, (drunk fishman claims) he would never ever do it again

He’s the kind of man that sings when he’s drunk too, but only if you do it with him. He mimics like a parrot.

Or if you manage to play songs with him somehow, he might sing them if he vibes with or knows the song

Get a man to sing your favorite songs horribly at an octave that outright hurts

Idk something like California Girls by Katy Perry? Have fun with it

He can’t exactly dance really well but he might do a fun little shimmy if the music pleases him enough

Have fun doing your shared little dances, drinking to forget (always remembering), and laughing about nonsense

I’m sure, as long as you get him something strong and a whole lot of it

The both of you will get along fine!

After all, he likes people that get him gifts like this a little more

[naneun-no]

On “Insecure Jikookers”…

Alright. I might lose followers for this and that’s very okay; curate your timeline and protect your peace babes. But for YEARS, every time the phrase “insecure jikooker” has come up on my feed my eyelid has done a little twitchy twitch 🤨🤨

And I have always ignored it, because I’ve never wanted to be out here policing ppl’s language and we are literally supposed to be having fun and celebrating love, like for me that’s the whole point, but —

I’ve been seeing the phrase popping up again surrounding the release of AYS and I just gotta say it.

You guys the term seems so culty 😬🥲

Like I think I get the origin (maybe)? It probably started when some of the early jikook bloggers (if you are one I salute you, I am not worthy, trust me this is NOT a dig at anyone, jikook bloggers are by and large cool and kind af ����‍♀️) would get these sketchy asks that were antis or cultists in disguise just casting aspersions on jikook’s bond or being blatantly homophobic and/or in general being rude little anonymous internet gremlins. Or maybe it was people who did want to believe that jikook was real but kept nagging and begging for reassurance at every turn, which I can totally see becoming annoying as hell and prompting people to start using the term.

But it feels like it’s used now as like a catchall for anyone who expresses any doubt or asks any critical questions? Even like… reasonable ones? And I used to see a lot of “hey believe what you want to believe but this is what I believe” but now it seems like the sentiment around jikooker communities has by and large become “if you don’t believe you’re an idiotic dumb person who has never known love — you’re either a rival shipper in disguise or WORSE (dun dun dunnnnn) an Insecure Jikooker — and we don’t want people like you around.”

And idk it just feels weird for a community that has always seemed to kind of pride itself on being the “rational, fact-based” ship… like we LOVE to be smug about how jikook don’t need edits to be obvious, don’t need slo-mo zooms with red circles and arrows because their chemistry and fondness and affection is just plain to see in basic footage. We’re the levelheaded ones 😌.

But doesn’t that mean that we should always be encouraging critical thinking, and if someone comes to a different conclusion than us, so be it? Like it or not, none of us have foolproof confirmation that jikook are anything more than very close friends. That’s literally all we know. The rest is our best guess based on vibes, anecdotes, dot-connecting, subtext and body language observation, experience, perception (!!This is a big one because confirmation bias is real!!), and suspicion. That’s literally it.

Look maybe I’m just projecting 😅 but when you criticize people for expressing reasonable doubt over something that is literally not confirmed, it’s just a little too religious fundamentalist for me! (This is why I was a bad Christian, because I always raised my hand and asked questions the Sunday school teacher didn’t like.)

Feel free to ignore me. I never want to come across as pushy or trying to stir up anything, it’s just a phrase that grinds my gears and I’m sort of hoping I’m not alone in that… but if I am, so be it! 🤣 would love to hear people’s thoughts because maybe I’m missing something.

(P.S. If you’re a troll who spams jikook blog inboxes this is not me defending you. You’re still annoying and you need a better hobby. Have you tried yoga? Snowboarding? Fly fishing? Filming food vlogs and/or painting? You should try cooking. You should stop being an anonymous internet troll stomping on everyone’s proverbial sandcastles and instead write a poem. K bye ✌️ )

[autieofthevalley]

ATEEZ'S KINKS THOUGHTS 🫦

[MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS OR DNI YOU WILL BE BLOCKED INSTANTLY, BACK TF OUT⚠️]

Okay, so i was watching tiktoks and this idea came to me, this is my thoughts on what kinks each member of Ateez could actually have based on videos i've seen of them and the vibes they give.

HONGJOONG / Daddy Kink

You've seen that man, he's the ultimate dilf, like really. The vibes, his looks, everything. And lately, we discovered that him and Yunho were dominants (based on that recent video with the medium guy). So yes, of course, he's a shy baby, BUT i'm pretty sure, that man is a secret freak, and he LOVES to dominate you. Don't care if you're a bit older or younger than him, he would ADORE being called "Daddy", or even "Captain" (you know what i'm talking about) while he pounds into you. He would, in fact, go even harder if you call him that from your own will, you know you would not be able to walk after that session with him. (The soft aftercare would be always here by the way)

SEONGHWA / Bondage and/or Blindfolded

Now, hear me out on that one. Okay, so i don't know why BUT i feel like Seonghwa would love bondage, either on him or his partner. As well as being blindfolded. I can see him tying up his partner and go down on them after putting a blindfold on them to enhance their other senses. He gives those vibes. He would also adore shibari (!!!), especially on him, as his partner would play with his cock until he's leaking bad, would turn him on so fast to be tied up.

YUNHO / Dacryphilia

Pretty sure it's not a surprise for any of you, because we literally all agreed unconsciously that this mf has a potential kink seeing people crying, turns him on. Firstly, like Hongjoong, he's a dominant for sure, secondly, i know he would (not even as a punishment) be a little meanie sometimes in bed, wanting to see you cry out to him after he edged you and denied all of your orgasms somehow, your tears would fuel him on and eventually, he would give in and obliterate you during at least an hour non-stop making you cry even more of overstimulation.

YEOSANG / Katoptronophilia

If you're not familiar with the term, Katoptronophilia is being sexually aroused when having sex and masturbating in front of a mirror. I'm not sure why, i can see Yeosang, even if he's mostly shy, having this secret kink. Like two faces of the same coin (if you know what i mean). Yeosang would be turned on seeing himself and his partner have sex, even making his partner watch him masturbating. The intimacy of it, the act in itself, he would instantly go all red and come quickly all over his chest, thighs, and hands, even watching his cock disappear inside you through the mirror, he would come so hard.

SAN / Size Kink

I dare you to look me in the eyes and tell San would not have a size kink. Have you seen him??? That mf knows, and he plays with that, as much as Yunho and his hands (but that's another story for another time i think). He would adore have a smaller s/o, loving the effect he would have on you. And he would certainly manhandle you in bed (gently or rough, if you ask him, after all he's a pleasure dom). He would be surely turned on, knowing the difference in size. He would have you pinned to the bed, both your wrists and your hips, enjoying the bulge in your stomach everytime he would hit your insides, a little too much, that man is a freak.

MINGI / Praising Kink

YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!! This manwhore LOVES and ADORE being praised so much, i could honestly do an hour compilation of him loving the compliments and the barking, he even asks for it most of the time!!! I know he loves when you praise him in bed too, telling how well he fucks you, or how much you love his body. He could come from your praises alone, especially if you're dominant, oh, he's surely coming hard from that.

JONGHO / Strength Kink

WOOYOUNG / Degrading Kink

I know this little shit loves to be degraded and also loves to degrade. He's a real switch and a whole menace, okay? When he degrades, he loves to call you a whore, his little slut while either getting sucked or pounding you the shit out of you, it's getting in his blood and boost his dominant side. When he's being dominated, though.. it riles him up to being degraded, he can honestly come from just you calling him your little whore, without being touched.

Listen to me right now, that man knows how to use his strength, bro knows how to break an apple in two in 0.5 seconds, first of all, that's hot and attractive of him. Secondly, he would surely use that ability in bed, and like San, he would also manhandle you. Would fuck you against a wall without hesitation and would eat you out also against the wall, just supporting your thighs on his shoulders and holding you in place with his bare hands.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

A.N : Happy Halloween my darlings 🎃 i hope you enjoyed my little train of thoughts ♡ make sure to reblog and like if you did !

[teekays]

hello! if memory serves you are the blog that talked about boy band pretty as a marketing tactic (or something to that effect? the search function does not work so if i’m wrong i’m terribly sorry) and i was wondering if you would be willing to find someone from each team (can include prospects if you want) to create the ultimate nhl boy band. this is not a necessary thing to do, solely shits and gigs and if you ever feel like it doing it. have a lovely day!

HIIIIIII that WAS me and you sent this at the perfect time because i am at the laundromat with time to kill and i LOVE to discuss this.... let's chop it up.... a few disclaimers: this is subjective so don't get mad at me and i will be including prospects and ahl players where i know its applicable BUT for most of these teams i will be going off the main roster + looks alone because if i did a full deep dive vibes analysis on every team's roster and prospects it would take me like two months to answer this ask... you understand. we are being SHALLOW here today in the true spirit of the boy band industry. let's go!!!

carolina hurricanes: i know everyone wants me to say sebastian aho but he is 1) too old 2) too unsettling looking. the elf on the shelf is not boy band pretty im sorry 😭 i do love him but he's just not the vibe here... i will say based on looks either scott morrow or jackson blake and his 90s heartthrob hair. i want to say seth jarvis because he's my special pop pop but that does contradict almost everything i have said previously so i will not be biased but know that if he was a pop star i would be his biggest fan i would kiss his poster. and that's my truth

columbus blue jackets: in the interest of journalistic integrity i went to their roster instead of just saying it's obviously kj as the intimidating aloof one in the boy ("boy") band but actually i do think it's cole sillinger.... teen heartthrob. also i didn't know that he was born in columbus because his dad was playing for the team and his brother is also on the team??? imagine having a whole destiny like that and its for COLUMBUS OHIO 😭

new jersey devils: jack hughes. open and shut case argue with the WALL

new york islanders: NOT MAT BARZAL. HE LOOKS 35. STAND UP LADIES!!! lowkey i do not know any of these dudes and this roster is kind of busted as fuck 😭😭😭 (NOT ANTHONY DUCLAIR who is too old to be a boy band boy but who i do love) bargain bin team... anyway isaiah george YOU! are the only cute person the new york islanders

new york rangers: matt rempe. those pictures of him lounging around on the phone??? wow. no words. diva heartthrob behavior. it's sad what they're doing to him what are we doing to our beautiful queens :(

philadelphia flyers: after much careful deliberation.... i think denver barkey is taking it. denver is such a deeply boy band name tbh he was born for this!!! i know everyone thinks it's jamie (who i still forget is a flyer 😭) but can you imagine him on a stage? singing a song? they are reinventing shoegaze for him. negative star quality (AFFECTIONATE!!!!!!! LOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!)

pittsburgh penguins: well NOW the obvious answer is rutger mcgroarty... not even worth going through that senior center roster when he's there tbh sorry pens

washington capitals: AGAIN. SENIOR CENTER ROSTER. i had to go to their prospects page to find someone suitable and my vote is patrick leonard he's a cutie!!! also im so sorry to say this but my jaw dropped when i got to this guy why are you playing hockey you need to make a children's album RIGHT NOW. i know he could do a banger cover of the We're going on a bear hunt song. but i digress...

boston bruins: matthew poitras is adorable and exudes star quality NEXTTTT. shoutout also brett harrison who looks like a long lost jonas brother

buffalo sabres: JACK QUINNN JQUIZZY HIMSELF partly for looks mostly for vibes... he has extreme "jack dylan grazer vape apology video" energy and also he has that boyish charm... either him or devon levi (hot) not miss owen power for the same reasons as jamie. she could never be a pop star 😔 ryan mcleod used to be the oilers popstar boy but now he's got too much competition he's a little niche for the title

detroit red wings: my gut tells me simon edvinsson but a look at the roster tells me there is some competition in the form of amadeus lombardi... if we were discussing this two years ago mo seider would be the obvious answer but he's too grizzled now 😔

florida panthers: 🙄 here comes another busted fucking roster... i guess denisenko??? panthers are not really representing here....

montreal canadiens: ARBER <3 he's like the bad boy hottie in the boy band. the one that makes your dad shake his head when he sees him on tv

ottawa senators: wow the atlantic division is fucking WACK this was another case of like. okay i guess ill pick one of yous but REALLY? so congratulations jorian donovan YOU are in the boy band

tampa bay lightning: seriously what is going on in this division. jack finley looks like he was the closeted one in a boy band from the early 2000s but he's aged past that now and he has a husband and a wine brand.... so we will bring him back for nostalgia points. welcome to the team. also i have to be honest i thought of myself as pretty well acquainted with the ahl but the SYRACUSE CRUNCH? that's crazy

leafs: JOSEPH WOLL! boyish charm out the ears on that one. a real cutie

chicago: obviously it's bedard. we all know it's bedard. on the surface he has no charisma but he does have a certain kind of shy boy charm and he IS adorable... he's the one in the boy band who makes your mom tut over him like "he seems like a nice boy"

colorado avalanche: wow huge props to matt stienburg for having maybe the single most boy band roster photo i have seen yet... THIS is the guy they get in the boy band because he's already had huge success with his hit single called like, Heart React Girlfriend or whatever. this is jacob sartorius if he played hockey. this is chase dreams. this kid is going places

dallas stars: it's obviously wyjo, joining the ranks with cbedard as The Nice One <3

minnesota wild: okay i was going to say brock faber because every group needs a kevin jonas (SORRY BROCK) but WHO is kyle masters and why does he look like knockoff brendan brisson. budget briss. diet briss. we have briss at home.

nashville predators: this just reminded me cody glass is a penguin now 💔 anyway the preds have some STRONG contenders here wow.... jeremy hanzel is taking it but i think luke evangelista could pull it off... now if you asked me to be really subjective it would be ozzy wiesblatt who would also be the subject of much poster kissing and rigged "which member of the nhl boy band should you date" tests so i get him as the result but that's just me....

st louis blues: jeremie biakabutuka your radiant smile has charmed me.... welcome to the band....

utah whatevers: MONTANA ONYEBUCHI I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THE SHARKS DIDNT APPRECIATE YOU. BUT WE WILL..... also matt villalta kinda giving off brand kj... you could build a whole off brand version of that umich team just with guys from other teams i bet

winnipeg jets: dylan coghlan you will always be famous to ME but i fear you are a little too old for our purposes here.... other than him they kinda don't have a lot going for them.... brayden yager it is your time to shine as off brand owen power ♥️

anaheim ducks: some strong competition here... tz is the obvious choice but i think we need to think bigger... olen zellwegger please step forward....

calgary flames: matt coronato i am free on thursday if you would like to hang out on thursday when i am free and also join this boy band

edmonton oilers: yet another old ass roster 😭 they're lucky they got so many sabres because matt savoie is saving their asses rn

los angeles kings: angus booth is smizing in every single photo i saw of him so. come on now

san jose sharks: it's so obviously will smith i don't even know what we're doing here tbh

seattle kraken: tye kartye looks like he would be into white water rafting so he can be the nature guy in the boy band.... strong competition from tucker robertson but he's just a touch too gay porn for this vibe

vancouver canucks: JETT WOO... HELLO.... but also shoutout cole mcward for having 2014 gay youtuber phenotype. a connor franta troye sivan type face if ive ever seen one

vegas golden knights: BRISS ‼️‼️‼️ my little tabloid queen... not only is he in the boy band but he's in the news and the media. he was born to be a star. natural ham. child actor energy. alex holtz is also a strong contender for this but i think he's off on his own doing his little pop star solo act thing

this took way longer than laundromat time but it was worth it i had so much fun!!!!! thank you!!!!!!

[dark-mnjiro]

eager :: michael kaiser drabble

Author’s Note: no idea what prompted this other than leaks today with Kaiser in glasses and his hair pulled back. The slutty man… god. I mean if we wanna get technical - anything Kaiser related on my blog is usually somehow Ryn’s fault. So we’ll just blame ryn anyway.

Warnings: michael kaiser x afab!reader, female bodied, she/her pronouns, praise kink, use of good girl, m!receiving oral sex, blow jobs, spit, gagging, dom/sub vibes, face fucking, rough oral sex, hinted established relationship, cum swallowing, mentions of cum, smut, consensual smut/blowjob, swearing/explicit language, explicit sexual content, idk what else…

“That’s my girl…”

The praise sent shivers up your spine as your eyes slowly moved up to meet his gaze as you sat back on your knees in between his legs. Heat rose to your cheeks as you finally took in the entire sight in front of you. His muscles were taught and you could see the outline of his abdominal muscles before his hand came to the top of your head. A gentle pat on your head was all the reassurance you needed before your attention returned to the belt of his pants.

“Michael…” his name slipped so delicately off of your tongue. It was music to his ears. You were always so eager to please him.

You unbuckled the belt before removing it and then undoing his pants. Tugging down the pants, you felt his hips raise to help remove the article of clothing. Giggling, you managed to remove his boxers as well before the heat rose back to your cheeks at the sight of his erection springing up and nearly smacking against his abs.

His fingers moved through your hair, pushing the strands out of your face. A content sigh fell from your lips at his gentle display of affection. Your hand encircled the base of his clock before a playful glint crossed your eyes.

He smirked down at you as you carefully took his length into your mouth. A low groan erupted from his chest as his head lulled back in pleasure. “…fuck.”

Bobbing your head, your hand moved up to stroke his length. His grip on your hair tightened, tugging at your hair and earning a small whine to escape your throat. Your eyes glanced up at him before taking him further down your throat.

A slew of (what you believed were) German swears fell from his lips as he sat up in his chair. His thumb brushed against your cheek before slipping back to your hair, gathering it all into his grip. You let go of his length before bracing yourself on his thighs as you felt him moving your head at a faster and deeper rate. Your eyes rolled back as the tip of his cock kissed the back of your throat, earning a gag as your throat tightened around him.

It only seemed to fuel his face as he stood up from his chair, increasing his pace. You could feel saliva pooling in your mouth before spilling out the corners and slipping down your throat the more he abused your gag reflex. Tears beaded at the corner of your eyes as your nails dug into his hips, wanting nothing more than to give him sweet release.

“F-fuck—!”

His hips stuttered as you whined, the vibrations alone sending shivers throughout his body. Another smothered whine escaped your throat before you felt the tip of his cock kissing the back of your throat. A white-hot substance filled your mouth and slid down your throat before he pulled back panting.

Tears had slipped down your cheeks as you looked up at him with your mouth agape, showing him the reminder of cum that you had managed to not swallow. His hands came to your face as his thumbs brushed away the tears before giving you a silent command to swallow.

“Good girl,” he whispered before you swallowed the salty substance.

“Did I do well?” you asked, sitting back on your knees again.

His lips curled into a small smile. “You were perfect,” he assured you as his fingers moved through your hand again. “Now let me show you what good girls get as a reward…” His tattooed hand moved to slide under your chin to make you look up at him. “Look at those pretty eyes, little mouse… on your feet now and on the bed for me.”

You rose to your feet without any question.

“…yes sir.”

[laracrofted]

baby, i'm high octane (epilogue)

synopsis: on her 29th birthday, nora wakes up in her new home.

pairings: jake seresin x nora rogers (oc)

warnings: 18+, minors and ageless blogs dni, swearing, smut (brief oral sex and shower sex), bradley is an idiot (affectionate), nora and jake are happy and domestic and in love. (wc: 4.4K)

note: i'm saving my sappy note for the end, but if you'd like all of the vibes, listen to daylight before or while reading 🩵

previous chapter | series post

TAGS: @theharddeck @bradshawsbitch @sometimesanalice @callsignspark @hangmanbrainrot @kandierteveilchen @startrekfangirl2233 @lostinwonderland314 @hangmanscoming @t-nd-rfoot @dempy @mlibbydp @bellaireland1981 @clancycucumber230 @kmc1989 @averagereader35 @eli2447 @filmflux @bethbunnyy @kajjaka @roosterbruiser

On the morning of her 29th birthday, Nora is awake before the sun.

At her side, Jake is fast asleep, a pillow crease across his flushed cheek, visible proof of how early it really is because between them, Jake is usually the earlier riser. He’s such a morning person. It’s almost obnoxious. 

During the week, he gets up at the crack of dawn – sometimes before, 4:45 AM sharp – and runs the five miles up the coast to Torrey Pines. He’s back with enough time to kiss a groggy Nora good morning and shower before he has to drive the half hour down to North Island.

It doesn’t make much sense logistically for him to sleep over during the week and drive an hour to and from the base – sometimes more with the evening traffic – but when Nora brought it up to him, watching a movie with him on the couch, tucked into his arms, Jake shrugged it off and said, “It’s worth it to me,” with a sweet kiss on her cheek. 

Weekends are nicer, slower.

On a slow weekend morning – a morning like this one – Jake sleeps in. He does a shorter run with the intention of catching her still in bed after; slipping back under the covers, freshly showered with dripping hair, a clean soap smell to his skin; hoping to convince her to spend another hour in bed with him.

(She never needs much coaxing.)

But now, for once, Nora’s the one who is awake.

She rolls onto her back with a sigh, staring up at the ceiling, at the exposed wood beams that slant overhead; listening to the steady rhythm of Jake’s even breaths at her side and the faint clicking sound of the AC switching back on – because Jake runs warm and Nora lived in the city too long to be able to sleep without some sort of background noise  – and outside, the gentle sound of the songbirds, flitting between the branches of the lemon trees in the garden, chirping softly. 

Is there enough bird seed in the feeder? She makes a mental note to check. 

She gives herself a few more minutes to will herself back to sleep before she gets up.

She’s never awake this early. She shouldn’t let it go to waste. 

Nora quietly patters across the room to the dresser and digs blindly around the top drawer for a blue one-piece she knows is in here somewhere. She doesn’t want to pull out her phone and use the flashlight, not when Jake is still sleeping so Nora continues to feel around in the near darkness in the mess of a drawer. 

She’s actually been thinking about clearing it out, moving everything in it to the second drawer so…

So Jake can have his own drawer.

She’s never lived with a boyfriend before – never gotten serious enough with one to get to that stage – and while Jake doesn’t actually live with her, he has started to leave some of his clothes at her place. 

It was unintentional at first. He'd come back from a run and throw his sweat-stained shirt into the hamper out of habit and forget to grab it from the laundry room. And then, Jake asked if Nora minded him leaving a spare linen-button-up in the closet for those nights when Nora wants to put on a little black dress and blow $50 on drinks alone at some beachside wine bar in Del Mar. 

She has been finding his clothes here more and more and always ends up leaving them in the closet or folded on the dresser, but Jake should have a place to leave them, have a place here.

She finally finds the swimsuit and ducks into the bathroom to change.

He’s still asleep when Nora comes back out, chest rising and falling, steady like the sea, arm outstretched into the slight indent in the mattress where Nora used to be. She catches her lip between her teeth, smiling, and slips outside. 

A pre-dawn chill lurks in the late summer air as Nora locks the blue door behind her and heads down to the beach. She’s grateful for her extra layer, a faded NYU sweatshirt that’s almost long enough to cover the hem of the linen shorts Nora pulled on inside. 

She doesn’t see a single person on the sidewalks on her short walk to the beach. It’s quiet and calm, and within a few minutes, Nora kicks off her sandals and sinks her blue-painted toes into the cool sand.

Dropping her bag in the sand, Nora casts off the sweatshirt and shorts and stuffs them into the bag.

She wades waist high into the ocean and curses sharply under her breath.

A sunrise swim might sound very dreamy and all, but goddamn, it’s so cold.

“Fuck,” Nora hisses.

She sucks in a harsh breath, bracing herself, and swims deeper. 

She adjusts to the cold after a few minutes – a few long and cold minutes – and after that, Nora floats on her back, letting the waves rock her closer to the shore and back out again, always keeping an eye out to make sure she doesn’t drift too far away. 

It’s quiet out here and so still, and with sea salt on her lips, Nora lets her mind drift with the tide. 

It’s been a little less than a month since Nora decided to stay in California.

At the end of July, Charlie helped her pack what little Nora had on North Island into a suitcase and a few boxes that ended up in the back of Penny’s garage while Nora went back to New York. She wasn’t there for long. She grabbed cocktails with a few of her friends who still lived there, shipped the rest of her stuff across the country, and hopped on the next flight back to San Diego.

She hardly left the house in the week that followed, busy unpacking her boxes in the cottage-style house, settling in to this next chapter of her life. 

Natasha and Bob were kind of enough to come over and help her with some of the unloading, diligently washing and putting away the meticulously bubble-wrapped kitchen boxes, organizing the built-in shelves in the living room. Nora left Bob in charge of the latter and came back from a coffee run to find the books separated by genre and then alphabetized. She could’ve kissed him. 

Jake and Bradley rallied Javy, Mickey, and Reuben into Nora’s own personal movers, and in a single afternoon, the Daggers carried in and unpacked the couch, bed, and bed frame and didn’t complain once. She had to promise them pizza and beer, but still.

Who needs movers when Nora has Uncle Sam’s finest?

From there, Nora has started to slowly furnish the rest of the house.

She’s been searching online and frequenting the local consignment stores with a very particular vision in mind, a vision of creams and pale blues; white linen and oak; sea shells and cowboy boots and gold.

Last week, Nora picked up the most gorgeous rug for the living room, one that picks up all of the blue accents and makes the whole room look bright and open. It’s perfect. It feels like a coastal dream, like hers. 

It is hers, Nora reminds herself again.

She doesn’t have somewhere to go, somewhere to be a month from now, four months from now. It’s all on her time now. And damn, isn’t that something?

When Nora heads back, the mid-August sky is a patchwork of blues, denim clouds and fading stars and the barest thread of gold creeping over the horizon. 

At home, she quickly rinses off in the shower and pads back into the bedroom. 

She slips back into bed and snuggles into the crook of Jake’s shoulder, resting her head on his outstretched arm again, and Jake mumbles something unintelligible in his sleep and tugs her closer, breath stirring the strands of pale hair at her forehead.

She’s asleep within minutes.

Sunlight pours into the bright room and spills across her back when Nora wakes up again. At a much more reasonable 9 AM. 

Stretching, Nora reaches her arms above her head and extends her legs in front of her, kicking into the sheets. She rubs the sleep from her bleary eyes and looks around the room. She’s alone.

A familiar shirt sits in a crumpled pile on the hardwood, like evidence, unmoved from when Jake cast it aside before bed, but Jake is gone. He even made up his side of the bed, meticulously straightening the sheets and pillows, stretching the wrinkles from the fabric. A military habit that’ll never cease to amuse her. 

Huffing out an amused breath, Nora plucks the shirt from the floor and slips it over her head.

She wanders out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, following the faint sounds of movement in there.

She’s greeted with the sight of his bare back,  ripped muscles and golden skin, rolling and flexing, as Jake moves between the pans on the stove – bacon, from the smell – and the humming espresso machine in the corner of the counter. Charlie gave her that as a housewarming present, and Jake’s made it his mission to make the perfect oat vanilla latte.

He’s humming a country song under his breath, one Nora doesn’t recognize.

It sounds happy.

She quietly crosses the kitchen and wraps her arms around him from behind, setting her cheek against the strong line of his spine, and Jake makes a startled sound like a sleeping cat that’s been unexpectedly patted on the head. She secretly grins. 

“No,” Jake protests immediately, shuffling to shield the breakfast from her view, voice comically close to a whine. "Go back to bed."

She laughs against his back. "No?"

"You heard me," Jake insists. "Get outta here. I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed."

Despite his words, Jake sets one of his hands over hers and intertwines their fingers. He has a spatula in the other hand, still pushing the eggs around the pan.

Grinning, Nora presses a kiss against a freckle on his back, against a dimple of muscle between his shoulder blades.

"I don't need breakfast in bed," Nora says. "Let's eat on the patio. It's beautiful outside."

She uses her most convincing voice, but Jake is stubborn, determined.

He gently argues – as if Nora suggested digging their breakfast from the Hard Deck dumpster – and eventually, Nora gives in with an amused shake of her head. He can win this round.

Mostly because Jake is adorably excited about the idea of bringing her a birthday breakfast in bed.

A few minutes later, Jake comes into the bedroom, balancing an iced latte and a few plates: blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. It's delicious, which isn't a surprise because Nora's come to learn Jake is a damn good cook.

Handy because Nora is only well versed in cocktail and dessert recipes.

When Nora's finished, Jake cleans up the dishes and brushes her hair out of her face. He kisses her cheek, her temple, the corner of her lips with a kind of reverence, like Jake can't stand to kiss her just once.

He ducks his head and murmurs, "Happy birthday, sweetheart," against her shoulder.

She catches his chin and kisses him, as honeyed and sweet as the maple syrup on her lips.

After breakfast, Nora gets a call from Bradley.

He's in the neighborhood – on his way to Penny's where, Bradley later reveals over coffee, is basically Maverick's these days – and wants to swing by and quote, see the birthday girl.

A cool breeze blows in from the coast, smelling like salt brine and sea lavender, so Nora shows Bradley to the stone-lined patio in the back and grabs a sweatshirt from the bedroom. She pulls it on over her linen dress on her way outside.

It’s only when Bradley raises his eyebrows that Nora realizes it’s a Dallas Cowboys fleece, one of Jake’s. 

“Shut up,” Nora says preemptively. 

She hands him a homemade Americano and sits next to him on the bench in the back, crossing her legs under the dress, looking out at the blue horizon of the ocean, a misty grey from the fog that lingers in the mornings.

“Didn’t say anything,” Bradley half-laughs, clearly holding back some joke about her being a born-again Cowboys fan. “Is Hangman here?” 

She shakes her head and sips her coffee through a glass straw.

"He's with Javy. They're going for a run in Point Loma." A run that Nora practically had to push him out the door for because Jake wanted to cancel all of his plans for her birthday. Both sweet and ridiculous. "He'll probably be back in an hour if you wanted to hang around and wait for him."

"Nah, I'm alright. I see him too much already." She gives him a look, and Bradley cracks a smile and knocks his knee against hers, all playfulness. "I'm here to see the birthday girl anyway."

“And drink her coffee.” 

He drops his shoulder in an easygoing shrug, brown eyes twinkling. “It’s good coffee, Rogers.” 

She grins. “Thanks, Bradshaw. You get me anything?” 

"Yeah, but I'll give it to you when I leave so I don't get punched."

He's wearing a cryptic expression, an I know something you don't know grin.

But before Nora can press him further, Bradley expertly changes the subject, distracting her with the latest gossip from the base, including Captain Mitchell all but moving in with Penny.

She still makes it down to San Diego a few times a week to hang out with Jake and see the rest of her friends. She pops down for the occasional night of cheap drinks and pool at the Hard Deck, meets Natasha for brunch at Little Frenchie, or spends the afternoon on Penny's boat with Bradley; but Nora will probably never see them as much as she did before. It's a strange and bittersweet feeling.

She's done with the documentary, and Nora doesn't miss the work, but she does miss seeing them every day.

Bradley drains the last of his coffee and sets the mug on the weathered wood of the bench. Another secondhand find from a neighbor who didn't need it anymore.

As if reading her mind, Bradley says, "We all miss having you on the base, you know? We all got used to having you around. It's not the same without you."

A faint smile as Nora says, "It's kind of weird, isn't it?"

"Don't you get bored out here?"

"So bored sometimes," Nora exhales, laughing, and Bradley chuckles, "but I really feel like I need to be bored right now. It's good for me." This is the longest break Nora has given herself in... well, ever maybe. She needs the space to recharge and breathe and feel like herself again. "It's nice to have some room in my brain to be bored for once. I felt so... scattered before."

"And I like it here," Nora continues. "I like having a place that's mine."

He goes quiet for a long and thoughtful moment, a slight scrunch between his brows.

“I’ve been thinking…” Bradley starts slowly, almost cautiously, testing the weight of the words. “I might want to move out of the apartments on the base and maybe get a house or something, I don’t know.” 

She looks at him, surprised. “You do?”

He chews on his bottom lip. Nods. “Why not? My squadron’s stationed here. Maverick’s probably going to propose to Penny soon. I won’t be leaving San Diego anytime soon, and I’m not getting any younger. I want something that feels more… grounded, you know?” 

She does know.

“Giving up on the bachelor life already, Bradshaw?” 

A cheeky grin pulls at his mouth as Bradley shrugs again. “Well, I don’t know if I’d say that. I should probably start with the house. Take it slow.”

“Sounds like a good idea to me.” 

“Yeah?” 

An undercurrent of uncertainty leaks into his voice, and Nora softens. 

“Yeah,” Nora reassures. 

A moment passes, settles, and Nora’s lips pull into a slight smirk.

Noticing, Bradley asks, “What?” 

“Don’t go too slow though. You said it yourself. You’re definitely not getting any younger.” 

He makes a face, and Nora can’t hold back a laugh.

“You need to kick Hangman out,” Bradley grumbles, good-natured. “You’ve been spending too much time with him.” 

Another laugh bubbles from her lips.

“He doesn’t even live here.” 

“Could’ve fooled me.” 

She ignores the pointed look Bradley gives her sweatshirt and continues, “And besides, I happen to like spending too much time with him. He’s my boyfriend.” 

She expects him to make a disgusted noise or fake gag like Bradley did when Nora first called Jake her boyfriend in front of him, but Bradley watches her and doesn’t say anything.

Her leg nudges into his. “What?” 

“Nothing. Just…” A shake of his head. “Hangman’s happier. You seem happier. I’m happy for you. It’s nice to see for both of you,” Bradley says sincerely. He drops an arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer to him. “I’m glad you’re here, Nora. Glad you stayed.” 

Moisture pricks at the corners of her eyes, but Nora blinks it back and swallows the rising lump in her throat. 

She leans into him. Presses her face into his solid shoulder.

“So am I.” 

On his way out, Bradley gives her a hug and her birthday present.

She sits crosslegged on the couch and slowly pulls the crumpled blue tissue paper out of the gift bag until Nora finds a messily wrapped rectangle. He must’ve wrapped it himself. She smiles to herself and carefully rips the paper away.

It’s a small waterproof camera, complete with a wrist strap so Nora doesn’t have to worry about losing it in the ocean. She can bring it on her next morning swim or the next time that Bradley invites her out on the boat. It’s sweet, so sweet that Nora’s a little confused.

She pulls out her phone.

Nora, 11:24 AM: Thanks for the camera! So sweet of you!

Nora, 11:24 AM: Why’d you think I’d punch you??

Bradley, 11:27 AM: There’s something else in there.

Curious, she pulls the rest of the paper out of the bag until she finds a rolled-up shirt at the very bottom. It’s a deep blue, a soft fabric. She lets it fall open and holds it up to get a good look at the words printed across the front.

“Oh,” Nora says out loud, reading. “You asshole.” 

Nora, 11:32 AM: Proud Navy Girlfriend???

Bradley, 11:33 AM: Do you like it?

Nora, 11:33 AM: What is wrong with you?

Bradley, 11:34 AM: Happy birthday, Proud Navy Girlfriend :) 

She sends him back a picture of her middle finger.

A hour later, Jake comes back, and Nora’s on the phone with Charlie.

He strolls in the front door, headphones around his neck, shirtless and drenched in sweat. Sweat shouldn’t be allowed to look that hot on someone. It should be illegal… or something. His dog tags gleam from the center of his collarbone. His shorts are slung obscenely low on his hips, low enough to reveal the mole there, and admittedly, Nora has only heard every other word out of Charlie’s mouth since Jake entered her line of sight.

“Nora?”

A droplet of sweat runs down his neck and pools in his glistening collarbone.

“Uh huh.” 

“Do you need to go?” 

Jake stretches his arms, folding them over his head, running his long fingers through his damp hair and setting his baseball cap back down, and Nora doesn’t even pretend not to watch the ripple that passes through his abs. 

“I, uh…” 

He catches her, of course, and smirks – a slow and humiliatingly smug smirk – and it’s all Nora can do not to fan herself. She coughs. 

On the other end of the line, Charlie snorts. 

“I’ll let you go. Have a good birthday.” And Charlie adds knowingly, “Tell Jake I say hello.” 

“Love you, bye,” Nora exhales and all but throws the phone across the couch, cheeks burning. “Charlie says hi.” 

“Hi Charlie.” Jake pushes the bill of his cap up with one finger, like the brim of a cowboy hat, and drops a slightly salty kiss onto her lips. His voice softens. “Hi, sweetheart. Did I already say happy birthday?” 

“A few times, yeah.” 

His eyes gleam. “A few? That’s not enough.” 

She bites her lip, grinning, and Jake presses his face into her neck, inhaling the smell of her perfume with a soft groan and also smearing sweat across her cheek. She wrinkles her nose at him and pushes him back by his shoulders.

“You need a shower. You’re all sweaty and gross.” 

“You weren’t lookin’ at me like I’m gross,” Jake drawls. He clambers onto the couch and puts his full body weight – his sweat-covered body weight – on top of her. She makes a high-pitched sound of protest, which quickly dissolves into a laugh, and Jake shakes with laughter. “You’re pretty gross now too, sweetheart.” He puts his lips to her ear, and Nora shivers under him. “Wanna join me and conserve water?” 

“You’re ridiculous,” Nora says, which isn’t a no, feeling a little breathless.

Grinning, Jake allows her to push him off the couch.

He ends up on his knees on the blue rug and looks up at her, green eyes glittering.

Jake reaches for her ankles and pulls her to the edge of the couch, begins to slowly push the hem of dress up, one inch at a time.

“What about that shower?” Nora asks, watching as Jake pulls the fabric higher and higher, exposing more and more of her bare thighs, which part slightly for him, almost like a reflex.

“In a minute, sweetheart.” 

He spins his baseball cap backwards – a move that should be douchey and shouldn’t even remotely work for her but infuriatingly, because it’s him, absolutely does – and bends down to kiss the center of her panties.

He licks at her through the fabric, drinking in the soft sounds Nora makes. 

“Jake…” Nora exhales. She knocks his hat from his head, burying her fingers in his damp hair, pulling on the strands. “We should… You shouldn’t…” Her brain isn’t doing its best work right now, and Nora can come up with is, “Guests sit on this couch.” 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Jake reassures, voice low and syrupy. “I’ll get it all.” 

"Fuck," Nora breathes.

He slides her panties down to her knees and spreads his tongue over her, and Nora’s head drops back on the couch, hair fanning across the back.

His mouth doesn’t leave her until Nora’s come apart on his tongue. Twice. 

After, Jake hikes her legs around his waist and carries her into the shower, hands spread across her ass, curled in her hair. 

It’s slow and certain as Jake works her open with his fingers and pushes into her from behind, warm water misting on her face, dripping down her front; hot lips pressing lingering kisses along her shoulders and throat. He pulls her dripping hair away from her neck, slowly winding it around his fist, pulling her head to the side to lick a stripe up the side of her neck. 

And all the while, Jake is murmuring in her ear.

Words full of praise and adoration and desire, and Jake smells like coffee and lavender shampoo and sweat and him, so very him, and god, Nora likes this, likes him more than she can put into words; loves this, loves – 

It’s burning, molten hot, full of feelings, pushing through the soil like early spring flowers, and when Jake breaths her name, it sounds like three precious words stitched into one. 

Around noon, Nora curls up in the arm chair near the front window, soaking in the feeling of the sun at her back, casting a shadow in the shape of her on the rug and the knotted floor boards. She loves the light in this room, gleaming, reflecting off the sun catcher that Nora hung in the window, sending a fractured light across the room in the afternoons. 

It’s her favorite spot in the whole house. 

She has a lot of free time now, and in that free time, Nora’s been sitting in this chair and digging through the buried files on her laptop; rereading old screenplays from college; half-written and abandoned drafts that Nora let her own perfectionism shred into something unrecognizable.

She’s been combing through the wreckage, hoping to make something new from the pieces.

And Nora finds herself coming back to the same idea – an ink-stained and half-formed whisper of an idea that’s lived stubbornly in the back of her mind for years now.

Something hopeful about losing your way and finding it again; about losing people and meeting them again; about soulmates, both platonic and romantic; about meeting someone and being absolutely sure.

She is scribbling in her journal when Jake settles into the chair within reach of hers.

He reaches for her hand to brush a kiss across her knuckles, a smile dimpling his cheeks, crinkling the corners of her eyes. He’s humming again, something happy, and Nora feels like a firework has gone off inside her ribcage.

She says his name to catch his attention.

And then, Nora says, “I love you.” 

And Jake grins in that easy and self-assured way that Nora’s come to love so much, like Jake knows her, really knows her. 

“I’ve loved you since June,” Jake says easily, so easily it steals the air from her lungs. “Just been waiting for you to catch up, sweetheart.” 

And just this once, Nora’s too happy to fight for the last word. She lets him have this one.

A year from now, Nora will be 30.

Not long after, Nora’s first feature film will come out. She’ll go to the very first screening. A small affair for her friends and colleagues and a few fans. She’ll wear a pale blue dress, and Jake will wear a suit and matching tie and pat his pocket the whole night to make sure the ring hasn’t fallen out, his grandmother’s ring.  

That’s later. This is now.

And now, Nora’s 29 and in love and for the first time in a long time, the world doesn’t feel like it’s ending. It feels like it’s just beginning. 

So Nora starts at the beginning. Starts with what she knows.

She opens to a blank page. And writes about love. 

end note: i finished this last month and fell into a bit of writer's block – slash post-creation depression lol – and didn't want to actually edit what i wrote, my bad.

i love nora and jake and everything BIHO has become so much. i love being here with all of you, and i love you for reading it and being so generous with your words and your feedback and your attention. 🩵 i'm also hoping – please, writer's block, i'm begging – to write more in this universe so if you really want to see anything or want to know any of my random post-biho headcanons, let me know!

likes are always appreciated, but comments and reblogs make my whole day, and i'd love to hear from you.