#so a little more in depth but not really. but they used to do numbers based on standings. so wdc is 1 and runner up is 2 and so on

[whumpster-fire]

Regarding the design of staircases: while pre-industrial (and earlier industrial) societies did do all kinds of sketchy shit with staircase design, stairs do need to be pretty consistent to avoid turning into death traps. The maximum variation in the height and depth of steps within a staircase allowed by the International Residential Code and International Building Code is just 3/8 of an inch. Stair tread lengths also have to be long enough to fit the user's foot: generally a minimum of 10-11 inches in modern codes.

If I'm reading the drawing right, the third image essentially has alternating large and small steps, with the expectation that the larger species only uses the large steps, correct? However, the largest tread needs to be big enough to fit a Panthera's paw, and the height of any one riser, whether from long tread to short one or from short tread to long one, must be a uniform height that's usable by Mustels.

For the sake of easier math let's say the larger treads need to be 12" deep to safely accommodate Pantheras, a little larger than a human staircase, and an 8" total riser height is comfortable for them, while Mustels need a 6" tread depth, and to keep the riser heights consistent for them the riser height should be 4". (I'm using inches here because that's what the International Building Code has round numbers in for some reason). An individual staircase with these dimensions would have a slope of 2/3 (33.7 degrees): however, with this design, every pair of treads and risers has a total height of 8" and total length of 18", meaning the total slope is 4/9 (24 degrees). The combined staircase needs to cover 50% more horizontal distance for the same gain in height than one built for a single species would, and since a separate Mustel sized staircase wouldn't need to be as wide as a Panthera sized one, I think the space savings would be negligible in reality.

As for the usability of the stairs: if I was using those as a Mustel I'd need to either alternate between rising and non-rising strides (i.e. left foot on small tread, right foot on large tread, left foot on large tread, right foot on small tread) or lengthen my stride to cover the 18" distance between consecutive small treads in two steps, which could be awkward or difficult either way. As a Panthera I would need to use a longer stride length as well, and putting my foot on the small tread by accident would most likely result in tripping, but it would be somewhat manageable. As a Gilter, however, if the Mustel-sized tread is too small to safely step on I'd also be stuck using the Panthera-height steps which also need a longer than normal stride length, which would be even more awkward!

For the second staircase: if I'm reading it right the idea is if you're a Gilter you can have one foot on the small staircase and one foot on the large one and take steps that are half as long and high as if you were using the big stairs, right? This seems more or less usable if the half-sized treads are long enough for your feet, but if it's like, Gilters need a tread depth that's somewhere around 1-1/2 times as much as a Mustel, the half steps would have to be 8-9" long, so the big ones would have to be 16-18", and the height of the small risers is still constrained by what's usable by a Mustel so if that was 4", then again the "Small staircase in the middle" design ends up needing to have a shallower slope for the dimensions of the steps to be usable. This design is more usable for Gilters, but if it was built as shown then Mustels using it wouldn't have a handrail within reach which might lower the riser height they can safely use even further. A set of Mustel/Gilter sized railings in the center of the smaller steps would make it more usable, and putting Panthera-sized handrails on the outside would help direct them away from the smaller steps where they could trip and/or collide with smaller species, because the center section isn't really usable for Pantheras. If the idea is to build it narrow enough that a Panthera needs to place their feet on either side of the central smaller steps, that's going to kill someone, so in practice this staircase needs to be wide enough for a Panthera to walk on the side and completely avoid the small steps. That means these stairs have to be about as wide as a Mustel-sized staircase and a Panthera-sized staircase side by side, and with a shallower angle.

It looks like the smaller species also have proportionally shorter legs though, so the difference in ideal stride lengths might be a lot bigger than 2:1, plus the are the smaller species' feet proportionally bigger? If the riser height and tread depth that's usable for a Mustel is more like 1/3rd or 1/4th of what works for Panthera instead of 1/2 I think the third staircase ends up being impossible to build in a way where Mustels could ascend a step with every stride and would still require extra high steps for them, while for the second design making the smaller steps deep enough for Gilters without being really awkward for a Mustel.

The good news, however, is that a "Londo Style" approach, even if it had three fully separate sets of steps for all three species, would probably only need to be a little over twice as wide as just building a Panthera-sized staircase. And that's the worst case, for a "low traffic" staircase where they're only sized to be wide enough for either someone to go up in one direction or for one person in each direction. If it's a "high traffic" scenario where there are lots of users of all species and it would need to be built wide enough to have multiple "lanes" of people using it, splitting that width into separate staircases might have little or no impact on the total space a stairway takes up, and it might even accommodate more traffic if it prevents people from having to slow down to safely negotiate awkwardly sized steps / avoid collisions with smaller users.

Note also that this is assuming the larger species using the stairs also have significantly longer feet. If the largest species in a setting has proportionally short feet, e.g. if they're digitigrade or unguligrade, it may be possible to design stairs where the larger users can just climb them two steps at a time and still be able to safely put their feet on the treads. Depending on the design of a building there may also be other ways to reduce space: e.g. because Mustels and Gilters also need less headroom, you can reduce the footprint of a flight of stairs for them by putting in more frequent landings. For a multi story building the minimum footprint used for stairs might be achieved with completely separate stairwells.

tl;dr: I think the three staircase designs presented would come out pretty similar in terms of space used because "Londo Style" separated staircases can actually be built at that 30-50 degree angle (modern building codes for commercial stairways are closer to 30, older stairs are often steeper but this is definitely a "building codes are written in blood" kind of area) whereas the "space saving" designs are constrained by treads needing to be deep enough for the largest species using them to stand on it without half their foot hanging off the end while also having a riser height that the smallest species can use, which forces a shallower angle than would otherwise be possible, and may not be workable if the difference in leg length between largest and smallest users is too big. They might have a use case in outdoor stairs that need to follow natural slopes that are shallow enough for them but too steep for a sloped path, though.

How equal can a society be if some fundamentals are unusable by a third of the population? You can learn a lot about a world by looking at the little details, especially in furry settings!

[jensonsbuttons]

I was wondering do you know why Jenson chose to race with the number 22 in f1?

hello anon! the easiest answer is that in 2009, jenson was automatically assigned that number due to fia regulations and then once the fia said that drivers could pick their own number, he continued on with 22 since, ya know, he won the championship with it.

[dravidious]

You're more amazing than sickness

Lost Caverns of Ixalan is coming out on Arena tomorrow and I've avoided looking up any spoilers, aside from a few individual cards I stumbled across that didn't have any reminder text, so I have no idea what the new mechanics are. I looked up a list of the NAMES of the mechanics on the mtg fandom wiki, and I decided to make mechanics based on those names to see how close I get and also because it's fun.

Also I made this card for the descend mechanic at first but I didn't like the mechanic. How dare WotC make such a parasitic mechanic, they should really hire better designers smh. Also I realized that craft would probably be more interesting with artifacts that have tap abilities.

[mariana-oconnor]

Types of AO3 Summary

Option 1 - The Excerpt:

The quickest, the easiest! Find a section of your fic that contains the main premise of said fic and also showcases your writing. Copy paste that into the summary box. BOOM! Done.

Best used for any fic, unless it's so short the excerpt would be the whole fic.

Option 2 - The No Frills:

Just a description of the fic. No need for drama. No need to complicate matters. Keep it simple, keep it safe.

Example: "A short character exploration of Blorbo's thoughts after Daisy leaves."

Best used for short fics, poems and fics where the style/format is more important than the plot. Or fics that tie directly into a scene/episode from canon or another fanfic.

Option 3 - The Hook:

Draw the reader's interest by giving them a set up with no conclusion. Introduce the main character(s), introduce the status quo, describe an inciting incident, leave a question in the reader's mind.

Example: "Blorbo is a barista at a coffee shop, struggling to pay their bills, but after handsome rockstar Obrolb walks into their coffee shop they find that they have to decide whether a chance at love is worth the cost of fame."

Best used for mid to long fic where there's a strong premise and follow through. Especially good for AUs. Can be expanded for more complex plots or used multiple times in one summary for multiple characters or subplots.

Option 4 - The Sitcom One-Liner:

"The one in which [over simplified description of one of the main plotlines]" This is essentially 'boil your plot down to the very simplest statement you can, oversimplify if possible. The more bizarre or unhelpful the better.

Example: "The one in which Blorbo learns to like cake".

Best used for fics with at least a little humour in them.

Option 5 - The Rule of Three:

Three is a magic number. Find three key moments in your fic and just list them. That's it. Often ends with 'not necessarily in that order' if used for comic effect. If it's an AU, establish that quickly (i.e. 'Star NHL player Blorbo…').

Example: "Blorbo makes a friend, falls in love, and almost burns to death, not necessarily in that order."

Best used for anything, really. Three is a magic number. The human brain loves things that come in threes.

Option 6 - The Trope Lure:

Why bother describing the plot? We all know AO3 readers are here for the tropes. Similar to The Sitcom One-Liner just using tropes instead of plot. Often followed by the phrase 'that nobody asked for'.

Example: "The Space western / A/B/O / Mail Order Bride fic that nobody asked for."

Often tacked on to the end of The Hook or The Excerpt as a tl;dr.

Best used for fic that plays its tropes straight with no shame or second guessing.

Option 7 - The Pre-emptive Strike:

(Not recommended) You just wrote this fic, the self doubt is consuming you. You feel the need to apologise profusely for your existence for no apparently reason. You feel cringe, you think the fic is cringe, you want everyone to know that you think the fic is cringe in case they don't like it and judge you for it.

Example: "So I fell in love with this pairing and had to write this. It's weird and terrible. Lol! I suck at summaries! Sorry!"

Best used for no fics ever. I cannot stress this enough.

(Seriously, I am begging you, don't do this. If you're planning to use this option, rethink it and do one of the others. I guarantee you more people will want to read your fic.)

Sometimes added on to any other summary as a strange disclaimer. (srsly. don't.)

Option 8 - The Unapology:

Embrace the mayhem, embrace the deep dark depths of your soul. The opposite of The Pre-emptive Strike. A combination of The No Frills and The Trope Lure that truly gives no fucks.

You have committed crimes and you are proud of them. You know what your USP is and you're going to make sure your target market finds you. Look upon my works, ye readers, and despair!

Example: "There aren't enough tentacle fics in this pairing, so I had to write one myself!"

Best used for fics with controversial/polarising tropes with all relevant details already clearly stated in the tags.

Option 9 - The Interrogation:

What if you wrote a summary entirely in questions? What if your readers had to read the fic to discover the answers? Who knows what will happen if you do this?

Example: "What happens when Blorbo McBlorbo gets his wish and Daisy doesn't make it to the plane on time? What happens when Obrolb finds out? How will this change Daisy and Blorbo's friendship?"

Best used for... I honestly don't know. This style of summary does not vibe with me. Mystery fic maybe? Sorry guys.

Option 10 - The Multipack:

Got a bunch of shorter fics in one work? No way of summarising them all without a wall of text larger than the Great Wall of China? This one is similar to The No Frills in that you're not describing the plots themselves and similar to The Trope Lure in that often broader genres and tropes are mentioned. What links those fics? Are they all in the same fandom? The same pairing? The same challenge? Just slap that right in the summary. A chapter list with 1-2 word trope/pairing summaries can be included or not.

Example: "A collection of Blorbo/Daisy/Obrolb fics based on Tumblr prompts. Chapter 1: Regency AU Chapter 2: Werewolves vs vampires Chapter 3: Ghost!Daisy Chapter 4: Space pirates!"

Best used for (obviously) works that are compilations of fic.

Option ? - The Void:

I said The Excerpt was the quickest and easiest summary to do. I lied, well... I didn't exactly lie. What is quicker and easier than not having a summary at all? After all, that's what the tags are for.

Example:

Best used for... nothing? Write a summary, guys. Please?

[ribombee-lapidarym]

So, we've been doing some research on which platforms are best/worst for being openly endo/pro-endo on

Disclaimer: this applies only if you are going to be actively interacting with / coming across plural spaces in these socials

More in-depth info under cut

Tumblr: you know it, you love it, you're currently on it. Tumblr is near undoubtedly the best social media to be endo/pro endo on (that we've found). Users / followers of pro endo tags outnumber users / followers of anti endo tags, which, while definitely existing along with anti-endo blogs, are far less popular, as well as being full mostly of posts that aren't even about endos or even sometime plurality in general, they're more just regular posts tagged with it just to ensure the "icky endos" stay away from their posts.

Bluesky: anti endos are far more common to encounter on Tumblr, but are still generally outnumbered by pro endos. Most mentions of endos just have them on DNI lists from antis or people doing syscourse.

Pinterest: honestly we should have put Pinterest next to Twitter on this list, they're about the same. Anyway, you can't really do text posts though you can definitely find anti endo userboxes and flags, but there's also quite a few endos / pro endos on there. They seem to number about the same

Twitter/X: surprisingly good! A fair few systems on there state being radplur/radinclus, even if they don't explicitly state they're pro endo. We saw just as many people supporting endos as we did hating on them, though syscourse doesn't seem to be discussed often on there.

Instagram: anti endos appear to outnumber pro endos by a little bit. The top few posts we saw were about 50% "why endos are bad" 40% "why endos are okay" and 10% "why fakeclaiming in general is bad (this does not extend to endos)". Overall, fairly negative place to be, try to avoid.

Youtube: 95% of videos about endos are information videos about them or "why I don't support endos" or "why are endos problematic". Syscourse is not a popular topic there, videos are 1000 views at max. There are definitely better places to be endo / pro endo

Tiktok: absolute hell for endos and pro endos alike. Next to no pro endos, next to no usage of the proendo tag, home of Asp*nfr*st*n. For your own safety and mental health, if you use tiktok, do not publically announce you are endo. It is better to stay away from the plurality side in general, to be honest.

Reddit: not on this list. This is because, due to how separated communities are, Reddit is Schrodinger's syscourser: both anti and pro endo at the same time, depending on which plural communities you frequent.

Hope this is helpful! :]

Let us know if you want us to investigate another social media we didn't mention, we're happy to do so.... for a price (the price is you asking us :P. We will not charge someone for making sure they are safe to be themselves on the Internet ^_^)

Quick tag in case its interested: @furyfuzz

And transparent blank template for this arrow we made:

[choslut]

˖ ࣪ ، ◞ せ⌇ SURVIVAL. featuring sniper mask.

↻ sniper mask is a good man… right?

tags : outdoor sex, misogyny, manipulation, creampie, spanking, fucking to survive (not really but he says it is), wall sex, orgasm delay, slight mask kink, god complex!sniper mask, implied dubcon // wc. 0.9k

author’s note : sighs and screams and sobs all over the place. i didn’t actually get down to watching high rise invasion until recently and now i suddenly need sniper mask everywhere and anywhere all at once. poor guy is SURROUNDED by women who he can’t have (and i could change that :p) i know we aren’t quite done with this event yet but i want to thank everyone for all the support i’ve received!! follower numbers have soared and i feel more motivation than ever <3 keep liking n reblogging to help a girl out, and enjoy this one !! i love you all and here’s to almost 800 followers !!

this work is NSFW. minors and ageless blogs DO NOT INTERACT.

ever heard of the saying ‘boys will be boys’? it’s massively toxic, and mostly used to excuse the inappropriate actions of boys (or more predominantly, men), especially in situations where said boy (or man) is deemed respectable for the most part. 

for the most part, SNIPER MASK is a respectable man. of all the girls he’s come across in this realm, he has made it his duty to protect them because he knows that as a man, it is up to him to ensure women’s safety. he may even call himself a feminist, but that may be a step too far. 

that’s because what sniper mask is doing now is very very far from what anyone would call feminism. in fact, he’s acting in accordance to the famed statement, ‘boys will be boys’, except he considers himself a man. and as a man, he has a right to feel manly urges. 

lying to a vulnerable girl such as yourself isn’t very respectable of him, but it’s been ages since he’s had a good fuck, and he can’t deny himself after everything he’s done for all the other ditzs in this realm. he’ll apologise after, he promises, but for now, he can only focus on the way your cunt has him in a death grip. 

“m-mr. mask…” you’re pathetic. he told you that you needed to do this to practise building stamina for future disputes, knowing full well that his stamina is fine, and you won’t be getting involved in combat if he had anything to do with it. you’re just such an airhead, so dainty and fragile and easily scared by the stupidest things, and it would pain him to leave you all alone by yourself. 

“i know, sweetheart, but we need to do this. it’s necessary to ensure your and my survival.” it absolutely isn’t, but he’s telling you that to keep himself warm and snug inside your cunt. he has you pressed up against the wall of one of the abandoned high rises, far away enough from the rest of the players to make sure he doesn’t get caught. 

your eyes flicker into the back of your head as your hands brace against the wall, bare nipples pressed into the brick through your torn shirt. “s-shit, ‘m gonna cum—“

sniper’s hands grip onto your hips hard, gloved fingers staining your flesh with fresh bruises as he pulls you back on his length repeatedly. “can’t have you cummin’ yet, angel. you have to hold it. stamina, remember?”

your eyes widen as you remember what he said. you have to hold out for as long as possible. do as he says because he’s a mask and you’re just a human, and a weak one at that. his experience surpasses yours tenfold, so he knows what’s best for your survival, right? 

so you hold it for him, cunt clenching down tightly and hands forming into fists as you squeeze your eyes shut. he isn’t making it very easy for you; his blunt cockhead hits your cervix head on with every thrust, and his hands periodically crawl around your torso to play with your nipples. to add on to the sensations, it’s beginning to get a little windy out, and the cool breeze brushes against your agitated clit, causing small streams of wetness to spurt from your depths with every thrust. 

you want to give up. you wish you could just give up on this whole stamina building exercise and let the masks kill you, but sniper’s cock feels so good, and if he doesn’t let you cum soon, you might lose what little brain cells you have left. 

“i know you want it, doll, but y’gonna have to be patient, okay?” his deep voice rattles through his mask. “gotta hold out f’me. gonna make you a great fighter, okay?”

“y-yes sir,” you whimper, gasping when his gloved hand comes down on your ass with a slap! 

“good girl. turn around f’me.” he unsheathes his cock and watches you struggle to turn around on shaky legs, back now pressed to the wall and thighs slightly parted as your tits spill out of your shirt. you look like a mess, eyelids drooping and lips parted gently, and he wonders why oh why you haven’t caught onto his scheme yet. 

you, on the other hand, are confused for different reasons. you can’t even see his face, for crying out loud, so why do you want him to keep fucking you so bad? thoughts of stamina building or whatever fly right out of the window as he presses your waist back up against the wall, pulling your leg around his waist before lining his tip up with your hole. 

“you can cum for me this time, doll. i think it’s about time you felt some real pleasure.” there he goes again, helping out poor little girls like you down on their luck. 

he even has the audacity to smile to himself under his mask as he watches you convulse from orgasm, your tiny hands squeezing his biceps and eyes rolling into the back of your head lewdly. he follows not too long after, his grunts as shallow as his thrusts as he spurts rope after rope into your twitching cunt. 

does he feel bad for cumming inside? not really. girls like you are only good for one thing in a place like this; to be good, compliant little cumdumps for respectable, hardworking men like himself. 

PREVIOUS : LUCKY GIRL ft. daichi sawamura NEXT : SWEET TALK ft. choso

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© choslut 2024 — do not copy, repost or translate my works without permission.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Allergies II

Hardersson x Daughter!Reader

Natalia Guijarro (OC) x Hardersson!Reader

Part of The Big Adeventures Universe

Summary: You have another allergic reaction

In all honesty, you didn't really think it was that serious.

Nutrition meetings at Barcelona were a lot more in depth than what you were used to at Arsenal. They took ages and were full of information that would probably be interesting if you actually cared but, alas, nutrition had never been as interesting to you as other subjects so you tended to just zone out.

You were handed a new smoothie with some kind of new protein powder in or something you would have known if you actually listened.

You drank it.

That's when things start to get weird.

The nutritionist continues to drone on and you frown, scratching at your neck.

You stare down at your bottle for a moment as your throat goes all scratchy and intense.

You force yourself to swallow before glancing around.

Your throat gets a bit tighter.

No one else seems to be having such a reaction so you unscrew the top of your bottle to peer inside. You sniff the mixture before standing up.

You can feel people watch as you make your way over to the first aid kit at the front of the room. Your throat has fully closed up now and you know that you're turning alarmingly red and probably breaking out in hives.

Honestly, you feel a little bit shocked how you're even conscious right now but you grab your epipen and stab it into your leg.

"Banana," You say plainly," I can't eat that."

Even with the adrenaline now pumping through your system, you slide your way down the wall to sit on the floor, breathing in deeply.

The room erupts into chaos the moment you sit down.

The medical staff come in to check your blood pressure and your throat and the expiration date of your epipen. The nutritionist leading the session is going absolutely ballistic yelling at one of her assistants for not checking the allergy sheets before making and handing out the smoothies.

Talia looks close to tears as she forces her way towards you, practically shoving some of the medics away. "Are you okay? Is it bad? Do I need to call your mums?"

"No! Don't call my-"

Talia's already gone out into the hall, phone pressed up against her ear.

You wonder which one of your mothers she has in her contacts.

Surely not Morsa because she's still in that stage where she's pretending to hate your girlfriend but you can't remember your Momma and Talia interacting enough to have swapped numbers and you know for certain that you weren't one to hand out people's numbers without explicit permission.

As the medics fuss and the nutritionist yells, the team also gather around to check that you're alright but you just give them a gallant shrug.

"I'm fine," You say," The epipen did its work."

"I think I'd prefer if you take the day off," The head of the medical team says," Just to be safe. You can come back tomorrow."

You know better than to argue with him so you just nod with a little sigh of annoyance.

"I can take her home," Talia says as she re-enters the room," I've got her."

"I can take a taxi home," You insist.

You and Talia drive in together so only one car is used. If you go home in that car now then she'll have to get a taxi in the middle of rush hour.

"I'll take you home," Talia says," Coach can spare me at training today. Someone's got to make sure you actually follow medical advice."

You roll your eyes. "I swear you've been hanging out with my Momma behind my back." You take the hand she offers to help you stand. "You sound just like her."

You end up back home fairly quickly, curled up on the sofa and practically forced to take a nap.

Prins joins you, curled up in the bend of your knee. Reina settles on the top of the sofa behind your head, completely stretched out and at ease with herself while Kung manages to wiggle himself between your arms to nap there.

You don't know how long you nap for but it must be a while because the sun is setting when you wake up and you can smell Talia cooking up your favourite pasta dish in the world.

You sit up.

You've definitely been sleeping for a while because Reina has migrated to her cat tree, poking her head out of the cave to watch Kung bounce around the floor in outrage at not being allowed up there with her.

Prins has taken Kung's place between your arms and his tongue rolls out of his mouth in a semblance of a dopey smile when he notices you awake, his tail beginning to wag happily.

"Hi, little man," You say, gently scratching between his ears," Did you keep me company?"

Prins' tail wags even more fiercely than before.

"Didn't want to leave your side."

You jolt, shrieking and Prins whines a little.

"Morsa! What are you doing here?!"

"Talia called your Momma," Morsa says, tucking the blanket more firmly around your body," Your allergies acted up."

"I dealt with it," You insist," You didn't have to fly out."

"Yes, we did," Morsa replies," Because if we waited for you to tell us, it would take weeks!"

You puff out your cheeks. "I wouldn't want to worry you over something so silly."

"Are you calling your allergies silly again?" Momma says. She enters with two plates worth of food and you sit up.

Prins leaps down to wander over to his own dog bed. Seeing him lying there, Kung wanders over, jumping up onto Prins' back to finish napping there as Reina ducks her head back into her cave.

"No, Momma," You mumble, accepting your food as Morsa takes a seat on the armchair and Momma to the left of you, leaving an empty space for Talia, who also brings out food for herself and Morsa before taking her own seat.

"Are you feeling better, mi vida?" She asks," You look better."

You nod. "I feel fine. My leg aches a little but that's expected."

"We'll put an icepack on it once we've finished eating. Prins was very worried about you."

Prins raises his head at the mention of his name, tail wagging.

"He's good boy."

Morsa grins from across the room. "I knew getting you a dog was a good idea."

Momma scoffs. "You told me that we should have gotten her a fish."

Morsa coughs to clear her throat and mumbles," Don't lie, Pernille."

"You wanted to get me a fish?" You laugh in disbelief," And you say Rocky is the most disappointing pet in the world."

"Are you really saying your pet rock is more exciting than a fish?"

"Am I?" You pretend to think for a moment. "Yes. Yes, I am."

[gingernut1314]

Just A Bedtime Story ch. 4

Summary: You are out for a swim during your work break, only to stumble upon a fight on the docks. A fight starring a very familiar face.

Content: female reader, gendered terms, pre-season 1 arcane, introduction to Sevika and Nadia (my oc...though technically she's low-key canon lol), Canon typical violence (description of a fight), young Silco, young Sevika, young reader, reader using water manipulation, confirming friendship, slight Arcane season 2/League of Legends spoiler (Janna)

Word Count: 3.7K

A/N: This is a bit of a long one sorry. I caught a little too much in their interactions. Next chapter we will finally get them all aged up!! I hope you all enjoy!

↞ to The Water's Cold Embrace Masterlist | Arcane Masterlist | Request Rules | Blog Navigation ↠

The waters of the Undercity had always been a comfort to you--a second home. No matter how freezing--no matter how polluted they got, you always found yourself swimming within them. 

People who knew you often said if you didn’t need to breathe, you would stay down in the inky depth. And they would be very much corrected. 

It was truly too bad you hadn’t developed gills and webbed fingers. 

You had just resurfaced to take a much-needed breath when a sound other than lapping water and the creaking of wooden ships caught your ear. It was faint. So faint you found yourself swimming out from under your boss’ dock and toward the sound. 

Not only were you an avid swimmer, but you were nosy as hell. A nosiness that got you in trouble more times than not. 

The closer and closer you swam, the clearer the sound grew. 

Sounds. 

Stomping and shuffling feet, grunts and shouts, bone hitting flesh, the sharp zing of a blade flying through the air and cutting through the skin. 

It was a fight you were hearing. 

You swam toward the ladder on the wall and climbed slowly upward, water dripping off your body and making too much noise. You doubted whoever was fighting could tell the difference between the water swooshing against the wood and your body leaving it, but you could never be too careful. 

Peeking your head up over the wooden dock, you found a cluster of boys all around your age or older. You recognized them all instantly as the gang that thought they owned the docks. As the gang that tormented you to no end. Who you had stolen from only two months prior. 

They had stayed under the radar since then. You could take a pretty good guess as to why, that being they were embarrassed about their defeat. They were bloodied, bruised, and some dead, and word of their loss had spread like wildfire.

Partially because you had fanned the flames. 

But even when you knew they knew you had spread the word, they hadn’t come out of hiding. Not until now. 

You pulled yourself a little further upward, trying to catch a glimpse of who they were beating on this time. Slowly and carefully you scanned over the scene and…

There. 

You found them. Him. And fucking hell--

It was Silco. 

You wondered what the hell he was doing all the way over here? Especially since The Last Drop, his territory, was located in the heart of the Undercity while the docks lay closer to Piltover’s borders. Too close to your liking but you really couldn’t do anything about that.

You wondered why the hell he would draw their attention when he knew they would be out for blood--his blood specifically. While Vander had beat them into a bloody pulp, Silco had killed a good handful of their members.

You had greatly enjoyed this fact, but it still didn’t make it a good idea for him to be wondering about over here where they knew the area best. 

It was a ten-on-one fight. Seemingly unfair odds but somehow Silco was still standing. Somehow he was making it nine then eight then seven against one the longer the fight went on. 

His movements, while not the most graceful, were ruthless. Movements you knew spoke volumes to the amount of fights he had waged. To the number of fights he had won. 

You were awestruck by it. So hypnotized by his fighting that you failed to spy one of the fallen members get back up. To see him grab a loose plank of wood and rush at Silco, who was busy fending off two nasty-looking members. 

You and Silco both didn’t see the plank until it was crashing over the back of Silco’s head. He went crumbling to the ground, his knives clattering beside him as he went. 

The gang seemed to hesitate. Like maybe they believe he was faking it. Hesitated as if he were some beast who would snap up and crush them between his jaws, but Silco stayed down and your throat tightened. 

You rushed up the rest of the ladder, pulling the attention of most of the remaining members just as they went to beat Silco further into the ground. 

“Little fishy,” You were disappointed to see Rotting Teeth was still standing, blood running from a deep cut on the ridge of his nose. “I’d say you were here to save your little boyfriend, but your weak as all shit.”

“Good to see your mush-filled skull can still come up with shitty insults.” He grits his rotting teeth at you. 

“You still haven’t learned your place, have you?” You blinked at him slowly. 

“My…place?” You spoke, mocking confusion. “I don’t know what you mean?” He growled, too easily annoyed. 

“You bitch--”

“Oh, gods.” You groaned. “Where is the originality? Little fishy’s good, but bitch? Really? Everyone uses that.” 

“Here’s what's gonna happen, bitch.” You shook your head in mock disappointment. “I’m gonna kill your boy toy and then I'm gonna kill you. Understand?” He pulled a very dull-looking knife from his pocket, brandishing it your way like it might scare you. 

“No. I don’t think I do, because you won’t be killing anyone.” Rotting Teeth and his gang gave howling rounds of laughter at your words. Laugher you used as a slight distraction as you felt for the water below your feet. Water your magic sung the same melody with.

“Get--” But before Rotten Teeth could give his commands, you yanked the water upward, it hissing sharply as it shot between the planks. 

Startled shouts sounded from the gang. Shouts that turned painful as you moved your hands around, guiding the water to shoot into their eyes and nose. 

The breath in your lungs grew heavier the longer you used your magic. Magic you knew you could only control for so long before growing too exhausted. 

So, with great effort, you willed the waters to wrap around the throats of the remaining eight gang members. They gave strangled and fearful yelps before you were yanking them towards the waters below with a great grunt. 

As soon as you heard them splash into the cold waters below, you released your magic quickly. The strain of using such power had you stumbling forward, your vision blurring and every breath pulling in with a slight, whistling wheeze.

Janna had told you to start out small. Exploding the flask being a perfect example. It was at your skill level and you could do it without much thought anymore. 

Fully manipulating water like it was a second limb? While very cool, it definitely was still something you were working on…even when you wished to prove the wind spirit wrong.

“You have magic.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement and it was coming from Silco who had at some point regained consciousness. 

“Magic’s just a bedtime story.” You huffed and puffed out. Swallowing down air, you wobbled over to him only to nearly trip over his long legs, which were still sprawled out over the dock. 

“Bedtime--I just saw you control water.” You gave another swallowed-down bit of air, your vision starting to focus and breathing finally beginning to even. 

“I think that asshole hit you harder than I thought.” You knelt down in front of him, grabbing a hold of his head to shove it down and get a better view of the back of it. 

“Get your hands off of me.” He hissed, slapping your hand away. You gave a little fake ow at the hit.

“Wow…not even a thank you for saving your life?” You gave a mockingly hurt shake of your head. “That hurts.” 

“Oh please.” He all but rolled his eyes, pulling his legs under himself as he prepared himself to get up. “I had it under control.” 

“Okay. Yeah. ‘Under control’. We can call it that.” Silco ran one of his hands over his face, showing off his newly split knuckles. 

“Where did you even come from?” You held out your hand for him to take. He eyed it for a moment, as if to deny your further help, but reluctantly took hold of it. You helped pull him upward, savoring the feel of his chill skin against yours before it ended a few seconds later. 

“Went for a swim. Heard you getting your ass beat--”

“I was not--”

“Swam over here and saved it.” Silco gave you an exasperated sigh through his nose. “This makes us even, ya know. You saved my life, I saved yours.” 

“Fine.” He gruffly said. It pulled an all too cheerful smile to your lips that only seemed to annoy him further. “Just don’t tell Vander, yes?” The words quickly fell from him as he passed you. So quick that you almost didn’t catch it.  

You had planned on telling Vander the next time you made your way to The Last Drop, but that look in Silco’s eyes…you couldn’t place your finger on it, though your ability to understand emotions was growing much better thanks to hanging around actual humans. 

It was a look that was--near animals. Like the thought of Vander finding out you had saved him was turning him into a cornered animal. One that would snap its jaw at anyone that came too close.

Whatever it was, you didn’t like it.

You hopped to his side, wanting to follow him wherever he was heading. 

“Okay.” Silco looked at you like he didn’t quite believe you. “If you really don’t want me to, I won’t.” 

“But--why?” You gave a shrug. 

“I cut into a fight you definitely could have won.” You added a bit of a playful tease to your tone. But even when you kept things playful, you willed your eyes to remain serious. To try and tell him silently you wouldn’t. “Why would I want to brag about my own dishonor.”

“Dishonor? I didn’t know there was honor between thieves and murderers to begin with.” Silco ran his thin fingers through his shaggy hair, trying to tame back the frizzled mess it had become in his fight.

Your own fingers itched as you watched him. 

You wanted to do that.

“Oh yes. There’s a code and vow and everything. Very official.” You gave a dead serious nod. “Did you miss that meeting?” An amused smile pulled at the very corners of Silco’s thin lips. Lips you wanted to see sport a full smile. One you wanted wide enough you could look at the V-shaped chip there fully. 

You felt bad about it, but damn it was cute. It just completely complimented him. 

“Damn. Must have.” You gave him a small chuckle as you came upon your boss’ shop. 

“This is where I work.” Silco looked over the gray, stone backing of the shop. Took in the small sign above the door and empty, fish gut-stained crates lining the back door. 

“Are you working now?” You a small nod.

“Breaks about to end.” Silco gave a matching small nod, seafoam eyes landing on you once more. 

“Ah.” 

“Yeah.” Silence filled the space between you two. A silence you didn’t like and was quick to fill. “Why’d you come all the way over here anyway?” Silco ran his fingers through his hair once more, eyes falling away from you as he kicked at an invisible pebble. 

“Vander’s helping open The Last Drop. Went for a walk. Ended up here.” You really couldn’t help the smile that pulled at your lips then. 

Had he come here to find you? Had he come here to--dare you say--hang out? 

It had a giddy feeling bubbling in your chest you had to shove far down. 

“Do you want to come inside? I can introduce you to Nadia and Sevika.” He glanced back up at you, brows furrowing the slightest bit. 

“And they are…?” 

“My friends. Nadia is super sweet. She can clean and wrap your knuckles and take care of any of your other wounds.” Silco subconsciously looked to his bleeding knuckles. You knew he probably wouldn’t take the offer but it was there if he did.

“And the other?” 

“Sevika?” He nodded. “Well, Sevika’s…Sevika.” You shrugged. “She’s great. I think you’ll like her.” You grabbed hold of the door handle, which was dented here and there. “Come on. I can sneak you some food too.” At the prospect of food, Silco perked up instantly. 

“Fine. But only for a moment.” You beamed at him as he followed after you. 

The clatter of plates and pots filled your ears as you shut the door behind Silco, the kitchen a beehive of cooks and dishwashers and the heavenly smell of food. The chef shouted something to one of the other cooks who shouted right back as you reached to grab hold of Silco jacket sleeve. 

“Okay so…try not to be so tall.” You whispered, beginning to pull him from behind the wall. 

“Wha--am I not supposed to be in here?” You shushed him much to his dislike. 

“Technically no. Boss isn’t a big fan of men so…” You thought of how your boss didn’t even like Nadia’s husband, who was probably the sweetest man on this earth. Boss hated men so much she only hired women to work in her diner and on her ship. Hated them so much she only interacted with male customers if it was absolutely necessary. 

Silco gave a great sigh, so you tossed him a mischievous smile.

“Don’t worry. She stays in her office most of the day.” But just as you spoke, the door leading out into the front of the house swung open, making you startle so bad it showed physically. 

A lithe woman came through carrying a plate of food that looked like it had been picked through by an all too picky customer. Her wild, ruddy red hair had been wrestled into a ponytail that was fighting to escape its confines, and her pale, near pearlescent skin was covered in faint speckling of freckles. 

“Chef, I fear they--” Her burnt gold eyes flickered over you, pinkish lips pulling thin. “What have I told you.” She spoke again, her accent thick yet added another layer to her melodic voice. “If you go for a swim you must dry off. Dragging a mess in with you.” She shook her head, “I left a towel for you--” Again she cut herself off when her eyes looked just past you to Silco. 

“Nadia, this is Silco.” Her eyes lit in recognition of the name. A name that may or may not have been spewed from your lips many, many times since you first met him. She gave a small shake of her head once more, blowing a deep sigh from her lips. 

“Take this,” She all but shoved the plate of food into your hands, before rushing you and Silco into the locker room. “Give me a moment.” She smiled kindly Silco’s way before rushing back out of the door, washing the room in silence. 

“See. Food.” You flopped down on one of the wooden benches, crossing your legs as you placed the plate beside you. When Silco continued to stand in the middle of the locker room looking too out of place, you waved him over. “What? Are you scared?” Silco rolled his eyes, following your gesture and sitting down beside the plate. 

“Of course not.”

“Then stop acting like a chicken.” You teased, grabbing a few french fries and all but shoving them into your mouth. “The fish is fresh. Caught it this morning.” You spoke around the food in your mouth. Silco’s nose wrinkled at you in slight disgust but he wasted no time in ripping a bit of the fried fish. 

“You caught it?” You hummed in yes, grabbing a bit of the fish yourself.

“Boss takes me with her when she goes out to sea. Calls me her good luck charm 'cause we always catch a good haul when I’m around.” Silco nodded, chewing the fish slowly. 

“Because of your magic?” You were quick to shush him again. “Oh, would you stop--” Another long shush. 

“It’s not magic.” Silco rose a brow at you, not believing it for a second. “And if it was…sure. Maybe that’s the reason.” 

“Is it maybe the reason you can swim submerged in the waters and not reap the consequences as well?” You watched him for a long moment, slowing your own chewing. 

“I don’t like this line of questioning.” Silco ripped another bit of the fish off. 

“Well, magic is rare. As you said, just a bedtime story. It is only natural I would be curious.” He popped the fish into his mouth. 

“It is just a bedtime story.” You insisted, messing with a fry between your fingers. “But…probably. But I think it also has to do with how my guardian found me. Just a newborn drowning within them. Someone threw me in.” You held a hand up showing your inky black fingertips, the darkness fading out around your knuckles. Silco’s own eyes scanned them over, then your face. “Use to be worse. Use to have glowing black and red eyes too.” 

“That is…horrid.” You shrugged, popping the fry you had been messing with into your mouth. 

“Eh. Seen worse.” You mused, grabbing up another fry. Silco’s seafoam eyes darkened in understanding. 

They’d all seen worse. Experienced worse. 

It came with the territory. It was the unfair truth they all had to live or it would crush them if them is they tried to deny it.

“Why tell me?” Silco’s voice came out quieter. Soft. Like he didn’t even want to ask but needed the answer. 

“Because you asked.” You shrugged again. 

“That can’t be the reason.” 

“I mean--it’s you.” Silco’s eyes narrowed slightly in confusion to your answer. “I--you’re my friend. We’re friends. And…I guess I trust you to know. I want you to know.” You suddenly felt your stomach hollow out and your palms begin to sweat. 

Nervous. 

He made you so nervous. 

You hated it but found you wouldn’t try to change it.

“We’re…friends.” Silco carefully said. Like it was a secret itself. 

“I mean--I guess we don--” Silco shushed you just as you had him. It was an unexpected thing for him to do. One that had you gasping.

“We’re friends.” He confirmed, offering you a small smile. A smile that only made your heart twist and turn in your chest. One you couldn’t help but copy and copy brightly. 

“Yes. Good. I’m glad.” He gave a small nod, turning his all-too-seeing eyes back down onto the plate between you two. 

Oh, you could giggle. Oh, you could jump up and down and giggle. 

“After I get off of work--” But your words were cut off by the door to the locker door banging open. 

Nadia was hushly shouting, grabbing hold of Sevika’s strong arm and yanking as if she could actually move the girl. 

Silco was quick to his feet, readying for a fight he might have to wage against the girl. You watched his calculating eyes take in the muscle-ripped teen as if already searching for weaknesses to exploit.

Sevika went right up to him, bending down to look him straight in the eyes when she truly didn’t need to. It was just her way of telling him she saw him as inferior until he proved otherwise. 

“This is him?” Sevika asked, eyes never once leaving Silco’s own. 

“Sevika, enough of all this.” Nadia tried again, but Sevika was quick to shake her off.

“I’m not doing anything, Dee.” She responded nonchalantly, but her demeanor was anything but. Nadia turned to look at you for help but you just shoved another fry into your mouth. 

Silco’d be okay.

“Awfully close.” Silco calmly said. Though, just like Sevika, his demeanor was anything but. 

“Small room.” She shrugged. “Come to see her?” Sevika shoved a thumb your way. 

“She found me wandering.” 

“Wandering? So far from the heart of the city?” 

“It gets a bit boring staying in one place for too long, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I guess I would.” Sevika leaned in ever closer. So close you were almost jealous, wanting to be that close to him too. “You gonna hurt her?” 

“Hasn’t given a reason to.” Sevika nodded at this, gray eyes having yet to soften into their normal gaze. 

“Play cards?” Silco nodded back.

“Of course.” Sevika's eyes finally softened, her plump lips pulling as she gave a laugh. Silco’s shoulders loosened as she backed away, looking back to you and Nadia. 

“Didn’t tell me he played cards.” 

“Why would I ask that?” Sevika gave a deep, almost irritated sigh that was only teasing. 

“Come on, guppy. That’s the most important question.” You gave an elongated sorry. “Guess you wouldn’t ask, seeing as you suck ass at playing any kinda card game.” You dramatically gasped, throwing a fry her way. The bit of fried potato bounced off her skin like she hadn’t even felt it. 

More shouting sounded from within the kitchen. Shouting that had you, Naida, and Sevika all tensing at the sound, Silco the only one not privy to who it belonged to.

“Boss’ll kill him.” Sevika laughed. “See you ‘round, Silco. If you escape.” And back out the door she went. 

“Oh dear, oh dear.” Nadia was ringing her apron between her hands. “You must go.” She insisted to Silco, “Oh dear--forgive Sevika for us. Oh, and your knuckles.” She gave a look like his wounds were her wounds. “Forgive me. They look painful.” 

“He’ll live.” You waved her off, the shouting growing closer. Shouting now joined in by Sevika trying to keep the boss at bay.  

“Will I?” He asked as you shoved the half-full plate into his hands. 

“Probably.” You gave him a mischievous wiggle of your eyebrows. He opened his mouth as if to say something against whatever you were about to do, but you grabbed his wrist and yanked him back out the locker room before any sound could leave it. 

You’re boss all but bellowed your name, Nadia’s nervous voice trying to calm her down as you threw open the back door and shoved Silco out of it. You watched him stumble out, losing a few fries, before turning back around, looking very much bewildered.  

“I get off work at seven. I’ll bring you dinner, yeah?” You called to him. Silco had just started saying your name as you shut the door in his face.

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[wisteria-lodge]

Manipulative/Morally Grey Dumbledore? An In-Depth Canon Analysis

So when I look at Harry Potter, my goal is to separate what I think the books are intending to say, from what they actually say, from what the movies say… and what the common fan interpretation is. So today I’m interested in Dumbledore, and specifically in the common headcanon of  Manipulative/Morally Gray Dumbledore. Is that (intentionally or unintentionally) supported by the text?

PART I:  Omniscient Dumbledore

“I think he knows more or less everything that goes on here”

In Book 1, yes Dumbledore honestly does seem to know everything. He 100% arranged for Harry to find the Mirror of Erised, publicly left Hogwarts in order to nudge Quirrell into going after the Stone, and knew what Quirrell was doing the whole time. It is absolutely not a stretch, and kind of heavily implied, that the reason the Stone’s protections feel like a little-end-of-the-year exam designed to put Harry through his paces… is because they are. As the series goes on this interpretation only gets more plausible, when we see the kind of protections people can put up when they don’t want anyone getting through. 

Book 1 Dumbledore knows everything… but what he’s actually going to do about it is anyone’s guess. One of the first things we learn is that some of Dumbledore’s calls can be… questionable. McGonagall questions his choice to leave Harry with the Dursleys, Hermione questions his choice to give Harry the Cloak and let him go after the Stone, Percy and Ron both matter-of-factly call him “mad.” The “nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak” speech is a joke where Dumbledore says he’s going to say a few words, then literally does say a few (weird) words. I know there are theories that those particular words are supposed to be insulting the four houses, or referencing the Hogwarts house stereotypes, or that they’re some kind of warning. But within the text, this is pure Lewis Carroll British Nonsense Verse stuff (and people came up with answers to the impossible Alice in Wonderland “why is a raven like a writing desk” riddle too.) 

This characterization also explains a lot of Dumbledore’s decisions about how to run a school, locked in during Book 1. Presumably Binns, Peeves, Filch, Snape are all there because Dumbledore finds them funny, atmospheric, and/or character building. He's just kind of a weird guy.  He absolutely knew that Lockhart was a fraud in Book 2 (with that whole “Impaled upon your own sword, Gilderoy?” thing after Lockhart oblivates himself. ) So maybe he is also there to be funny/atmospheric/character building, or to teach Harry a lesson about fame, or because Dumbledore is using the cursed position to bump off people he doesn’t like. Who knows.

(I actually don’t think JKR had locked in “the DADA position is literally cursed by Voldemort” until Book 6. )

Dumbledore absolutely knows that Harry is listening in when Lucius Malfoy comes to take Hagrid to Azkaban, and it’s fun to speculate that maybe he let himself get fired in Book 2 as part of a larger plan to boot Lucius off the Board of Governors. So far, that’s the sort of thing he’d do.  But in Books 3 and 4, we are confronted with a number of important things that Dumbledore just missed. He doesn’t know any of the Marauders were animagi, he doesn’t know what really happened with the Potter’s Secret Keeper, doesn’t know Moody is Crouch, and doesn’t know the Marauders Map even exists. But in Books 5 and 6, his omniscience does seem to come back online. (In a flashback, Voldemort even comments that he is "omniscient as ever” when Dumbledore lists the specific Death Eaters he has in Hogsmeade as backup.) Dumbledore knows exactly what Draco and Voldemort are planning, and his word is taken as objective truth by the entire Order of the Phoenix - who apparently only tolerate Snape because Dumbledore vouches for him:

“Snape,” repeated McGonagall faintly, falling into the chair. “We all wondered . . . but he trusted . . . always . . . Snape . . . I can’t believe it. . . .”  “Snape was a highly accomplished Occlumens,” said Lupin, his voice uncharacteristically harsh. “We always knew that.”  “But Dumbledore swore he was on our side!” whispered Tonks. “I always thought Dumbledore must know something about Snape that we didn’t. . . .”  “He always hinted that he had an ironclad reason for trusting Snape,” muttered Professor McGonagall (...) “Wouldn’t hear a word against him!”

McGonagall questions Dumbledore about the Dursleys, but not about Snape. I see this as part of the larger trend of basically Dumbledore’s deification. In the beginning of the series, he’s treated as a clever, weird dude. By the end, he’s treated like a god. 

PART II: Chessmaster Dumbledore

“I prefer not to keep all my secrets in one basket.”

When Dumbledore solves problems, he likes to go very hands-off. He didn’t directly teach Harry about the Mirror of Erised - he gave him the Cloak, knew he would wander, and moved the Mirror so it would be in his path. He sends Snape to deal with Quirrell and Draco, rather than do it himself. He (or his portrait) tells Snape to confund Mundungus Fletcher and get him to suggest the Seven Potters strategy. He puts Mrs. Figg in place to watch Harry, then ups the protection in Book 5 - all without informing Harry. The situation with Slughorn is kind of a Dumbledore-manipulation master class - even the way he deliberately disappears into the bathroom so Harry will have enough solo time to charm Slughorn. Of course he only wants Slughorn under his roof in the first place to pick his brain about Voldemort… but again, instead of doing that himself, he gets Harry to do it for him. 

Dumbledore has a moment during Harry’s hearing in Book 5 (which he fakes evidence for) where he informs Fudge that Harry is not under the Ministry’s jurisdiction while at Hogwarts. Which has insane implications. It’s never explicitly stated, but as the story goes on, it at least makes sense that Dumbledore is deliberately obscuring how powerful he is, and how much influence he really has, by getting other people to do things for him. But the problem with that is because he is so powerful, it become really easy for a reader to look back after they get more information and say… well if Dumbledore was controlling the situation… why couldn’t he have done XYZ. Here are two easy examples from Harry’s time spent with the Dursleys:

1. Mrs. Figg is watching over Harry from day one, but she can’t tell him she’s a squib and also she has to keep him miserable on purpose:

“Dumbledore’s orders. I was to keep an eye on you but not say anything, you were too young. I’m sorry I gave you such a miserable time, but the Dursleys would never have let you come if they’d thought you enjoyed it. It wasn’t easy, you know…”

It’s pretty intense to think of Dumbledore saying “oh yes, invite this little child over and keep him unhappy on purpose.” But okay. It’s important to keep Harry ignorant of the magical world and vice versa. fine. But once he goes to Hogwarts… that doesn’t apply anymore?  I’m sure when Harry thinks he’s going to be imprisoned permanently in his bedroom during Book 2, it would’ve been comforting to know that Dumbledore was sending around someone to check on him. And when he literally runs away from home in Book 3… having the address of a trusted adult that he could easily get to would have been great for everybody. 

2. When Vernon is about to actually kick Harry out during Book 5, Dumbledore sends a howler which intimidates Petunia into insisting that Harry has to stay. Vernon folds and does exactly what she says. If Dumbledore could intimidate Petunia into doing this, then why couldn’t he intimidate her into, say - giving Harry the second bedroom instead of a cupboard. Or fixing Harry’s glasses. In Book 1, the Dursleys don’t bother Harry during the entire month of August because Hagrid gives Dudley a pig’s tail. In the summer between third and fourth year, the Dursleys back off because Harry is in correspondence with Sirius (a person they fear.) But the Dursleys are afraid of all wizards. Like at this point it doesn’t seem that hard to intimidate them into acting decently to Harry. 

PART III: Dumbledore and the Dursleys 

“Not a pampered little prince”

JKR wanted two contradictory things. She wanted Dumbledore to be a fundamentally good guy: a wise, if eccentric mentor figure. But she also wanted Harry to have a comedically horrible childhood being locked in a cupboard, denied food, given broken glasses and ill fitting/embarrassing clothes, and generally made into a little Cinderella. Then, it’s a bigger contrast when he goes to Hogwarts and expulsion can be used as an easy threat. (Although the only person we ever see expelled is Hagrid, and that was for murder.)

So, there are a couple of tricks she uses to make it okay that Dumbledore left Harry at the Dursleys.’ The first is that once Harry leaves…  nothing that happens there is given emotional weight. When he’s in the Wizarding World, he barely talks about Dursleys, barely thinks about them. They almost never come up in the narration (unless Harry’s worried about being expelled, or they’re sending him comedically awful presents.) They are completely cut from movies 4, 6, and 7 part 2 - and you do not notice. 

The second trick… is that Dumbledore himself clearly doesn’t think that the Dursleys are that bad. During the King’s Cross vision-quest, he describes 11-year-old Harry as “alive and healthy (...) as normal a boy as I could have hoped under the circumstances. Thus far, my plan was working well.”  

Now, this could have been really interesting. Like in a psychological way, I get it. Dumbledore had a rocky home life. Dad in prison, mom spending all her time taking care of his volatile and dangerous sister. Aberforth seems to have reacted to the situation by running completely wild, it’s implied that he never even had formal schooling… and Albus doubled down on being the Golden Child, making the family look good from the outside, and finding every means possible to escape. I would have believed it if Molly or Kingsley had a beat of being horrified by the way the Dursleys are treating Harry… but Dumbledore treats it as like, whatever. Business as usual. 

But that isn’t the framing that the books use. Dumbledore is correct that the Dursleys aren’t that bad, and I think it’s because JKR fundamentally does not take the Dursleys seriously as threats. I also think she has a fairly deeply held belief that suffering creates goodness, so possibly Harry suffering at the hands of the Dursleys… was necessary? To make him good? Dumbledore himself has an arc of ‘long period of suffering = increased goodness.’ So does Severus Snape, Dudley‘s experience with the Dementor kickstarts his character growth, etc. It’s a trope she likes.

It’s only in The Cursed Child that the Dursleys are given any kind of weight when it comes to Harry’s psyche. This is one of the things that makes me say Jack Thorne wrote that play, because it’s just not consistent with how JKR likes to write the Dursleys. It’s consistent with the way fanfiction likes to write the Dursleys. And look, The Cursed Child is fascinatingly bad, I have so many problems with it, but it does seem to be doing like … a dark reinterpretation of Harry Potter? And it’s interested in saying something about cycles of abuse. I can absolutely see how the way the play handles things is flattering to JKR. It retroactively frames the Dursleys’ abuse in a more negative way, and maybe that’s something she wanted after criticism that the Harry Potter books treat physical abuse kind of lightly. (i.e.  Harry at the hands of the Dursleys, and house-elves at the hands of everybody. Even Molly Weasley “wallops” Fred with a broomstick.) 

PART IV: Dumbledore and Harry

“The whole Potter–Dumbledore relationship. It’s been called unhealthy, even sinister”

So whenever Harry feels betrayed by Dumbledore in the books - and he absolutely does, it’s some of JKR’s best writing  - it’s not because he left him with the Dursleys. It’s because Dumbledore kept secrets from him, or lied to him, or didn’t confide in him on a personal level. 

“Look what he asked from me, Hermione! Risk your life, Harry! And again! And again! And don’t expect me to explain everything, just trust me blindly, trust that I know what I’m doing, trust me even though I don’t trust you! Never the whole truth! Never!” (...) I don’t know who he loved, Hermione, but it was never me. This isn’t love, the mess he’s left me in. He shared a damn sight more of what he was really thinking with Gellert Grindelwald than he ever shared with me.”

Eventually though, Harry falls in line with the rest of the Order, and treats Dumbledore as an all-knowing God. And this decision comes so close to being critiqued…  but the series never quite commits. Rufus Scrimgeour comments that, “Well, it is clear to me that [Dumbledore] has done a very good job on you” - implying that Harry is a product of a deliberate manipulation,  and that the way Harry feels about Dumbledore is a direct result of how he's been controlling the situation (and Harry.)  But Harry responds to “[You are] Dumbledore’s man through and through, aren’t you, Potter?” with “Yeah, I am. Glad we straightened that out,” and it’s treated as a badass, mic drop line. 

Ron goes on to say that Harry maybe shouldn’t be trusting Dumbledore and maybe his plan isn’t that great… but then he abandons his friends, regrets what he did, and is only able to come back because Dumbledore knew he would react this way? So that whole thing only makes Dumbledore seem more powerful? Aberforth  tells Harry (correctly) that Dumbledore is expecting too much of him and he’s not interested in making sure that he survives:

“How can you be sure, Potter, that my brother wasn’t more interested in the greater good than in you? How can you be sure you aren’t dispensable (...) Why didn’t he say… ‘Take care of yourself, here’s how to survive’? (...) You’re seventeen, boy!”

But, Aberforth is treated as this Hamish Abernathy type who has given up, and needs Harry to ignite his spark again. There’s a pretty dark line in the script of Deathly Hallows Part 2:

Which at least shows this was a possible  interpretation the creative team had in their heads… but then of course it isn’t actually in the movie. 

So in the end, insane trust in Dumbledore is only ever treated as proper and good. Then in Cursed Child they start using “Dumbledore” as an oath instead of “Merlin” and it’s weird and I don’t like it.

PART V: Dumbledore and his Strays

“I have known, for some time now, that you are the better man.”

So Dumbledore has this weird relationship pattern. He has a handful of people he pulled out of the fire at some point and (as a result) these people are insanely loyal to him.  They do his dirty work, and he completely controls them. This is an interesting pattern, because I think it helps explain why so many fans read Dumbledore’s relationship with Snape (and with Harry) as sinister. 

Let’s start with the first of Dumbledore’s “strays.” Dumbledore saves Hagrid's livelihood and probably life after he is accused of opening the Chamber of Secrets - and then he uses Hagrid to disappear Harry after the Potters' death, gets him to transport the Philosopher’s Stone, and he’s the one who he trusts to be Harry’s first point of contact with the Wizarding World.  Also, Hagrid's situation doesn’t change? Even after he is cleared of opening the Chamber of Secrets, he keeps using that pink flowered umbrella with his broken wand inside, a secret that he and Dumbledore seem to share. He could get a legal wand, he could continue his education. But he doesn’t seem to, and I don’t know why. 

So, Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality is a well known fix-it fic that basically asks “What if Harry Potter was a machiavellian little super genius who solves the plot in a year?” I enjoyed it when it was coming out, but the only thing I would call a cheat is the way McGonagall brings Harry to Diagon Alley instead of Hagrid. Because a Harry Potter who has spent a couple of days with McGonagall is going to be much better informed, better equipped and therefore more powerful than a Harry spending the same amount of time with Hagrid. McGonagall is both a lot more knowledgeable and a lot less loyal to Dumbledore. She is loyal, obviously, but she also questions his choices in a way that Hagrid never does. And as a result, Dumbledore does not trust her with the same kind of delicate jobs he trusts to Hagrid.

Mrs. Figg is another one of Dumbledore’s strays. She’s a squib, so we can imagine that she doesn’t really have a lot of other options, and he sets her up to keep tabs on (and be unpleasant to) little Harry. He also has her lie to the entire Wizangamot, which has got to present some risk. Within this framework, Snape is another very clear stray. Dumbledore kept him out of Azkaban, and is the only reason that the Order trusts him. He gets sent on on dangerous double-agent missions… but before that he’s sort of kept on hand, even though he’s clearly miserable at Hogwarts. Firenze is definitely a stray - he can't go back to the centaurs, and who other than Dumbledore is going to hire him? And I do wonder about Trelawney. We don’t know much about her relationship with Dumbledore, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she was a stray as well.

I think there was an attempt to turn Lupin into a stray that didn’t… quite work. He is clearly grateful to Dumbledore for letting him attend Hogwarts and then for hiring him, but Lupin doesn’t really hit that necessary level of trustworthy that the others do. Most of what Dumbledore doesn’t know in Book 3 are things that Lupin could have told him, and didn’t. If had to think of a Watsonsian reason why Remus is given all these solo missions away from the other Order members (that never end up mattering…) it’s because I don’t think Dumbledore trusts him that much. Lupin doubts him too much. 

“Dumbledore believed that?” said Lupin incredulously. “Dumbledore believed Snape was sorry James was dead? Snape hated James. . . .”

 We also see Dumbledore start the process of making Draco into a stray by promising to protect him and his parents. And with all of that… it’s kind of easy to see how Harry fits the profile. He has a very bleak existence (which Dumbledore knows about.) He is pulled out of it by Dumbledore’s proxies. It’s not surprising that Harry develops a Hagrid-level loyalty, especially after Dumbledore saves him from Barty, from his Ministry hearing, and then from Voldemort. Harry walks to his death because Dumbledore told him too. 

Just to be clear, I don’t think this pattern is deliberate. I think this is a side effect of JKR wanting to write Dumbledore as a nice guy, and specifically as a protector of the little guy. But Dumbledore doing that while also being so powerful creates a weird power dynamic, gives him a weird edit. It’s part of the reason people are happy to go one step farther and say that the Dursleys were mean to Harry… because Dumbledore actively wanted it that way.  I don’t think that’s true. I think Dumbledore loves his strays and if anything, the text supports the idea that he is collecting good people, because protecting them and observing them serves some psychological function for him. Dumbledore does not believe himself to be an intrinsically good person, or trustworthy when it comes to power. So, of course someone like that would be fascinated by how powerless people operate in the world, and by people like Hagrid and Lupin and Harry, who seem so intrinsically good. 

PART VI - Dumbledore and Grindelwald

“I was in love with you.” 

I honestly see “17-year-old Dumbledore was enamored with Grindelwald” as a smokescreen distracting from the actual moral grayness of the guy. He wrote some edgy letters when he was a teenager, at least partly because he thought his neighbor was hot. He thought he could move Ariana, but couldn’t - which led to the chaotic three-way duel that killed her. 

One thing I think J. K. Rowling does understand pretty well, and introduces into her books on purpose, is the concept of re-traumatization. Sirius in Book 5 is very obviously being re-traumatized by being in his childhood home and hearing the portrait of his mother screaming. It’s why he acts out, regresses, and does a number of unadvisable things. I think it’s also deliberate that Petunia’s unpleasant childhood is basically being re-created: her normal son next to her sister’s magical son. It's making her worse, or at the very least preventing her from getting better. We learn that Petunia has this sublimated interest in the magical world, and can even pull out vocab like “Azkaban” and “Dementor” when she needs to.   She wrote Dumbledore asking to go to Hogwarts, and I could see that in a universe where Petunia didn’t have to literally raise Harry, she wouldn’t be as psychotically into normalness, cleanliness, and order as she is when we meet her in the books. After all, JKR doesn’t like to write evil mothers. She will be bend over backwards so her mothers are never really framed as bad.

And I honestly think it’s possible that J. K. Rowling was playing with the concept of re-traumatiziation when she was fleshing out Dumbledore in Book 7. We learn all this backstory, that… honestly isn’t super necessary? All I’m saying is that the three-way duel at the top of the Astronomy Tower lines up really well with the three-way duel that killed Ariana. Harry is Ariana, helpless in the middle. Draco is Aberforth, well intentioned and protective of his family - but kind of useless, and kind of a liability. Severus is Grindelwald, dark and brilliant, and one of the closest relationships Dumbledore has. If this was intentional, it was probably only for reasons of narrative symmetry… but I think it's cool in a Gus Fring of Breaking Bad sort of way, that Dumbledore (either consciously or unconsciously) has been trying to re-create this one horrible moment in his life where he felt entirely out of control. But the second time it plays out… he can give it what he sees as the correct outcome. Grindelwald kills him and everyone else lives. That is how you solve the puzzle.

If you read between the lines, Dumbledore/Grindelwald is a fascinating love story. I like the detail that after Ariana’s death, Dumbledore returns to Hogwarts because it’s a place to hide and because he doesn’t feel like he can be trusted with power. I like that he sits there, refusing promotions, refusing requests to be the new Minister of Magic, refusing to go deal with the growing Grindelwald threat until he absolutely can’t hide anymore, at which point he defeats him (somehow.) I like reading his elaborate plan to break Elder Wand’s power as both a screw-you to Grindelwald, the wand’s previous master, but also as a weirdly romantic gesture. In Albus Dumbledore’s mind, there is only Grindelwald. Voldemort can’t even begin to compare. I like the detail that Grindelwald won’t give up Dumbledore, even under torture. And, Dumbledore doesn’t put him in Azkaban. He put him in this other separate prison, which always makes it seem like he’s there under Dumbledore authority specifically.  Maybe Dumbledore thinks that if he had died that day instead of Ariana…he wouldn’t have had to spend the rest of his life fighting and imprisoning the man he loves.

And then of course, Crimes of Grindelwald decided to take away Dumbledore's greatest weakness and say that no, actually he was a really good guy who never did anything wrong ever.  He went all that time without fighting Grindelwald because they made a magical friendship no-fight bracelet. Dumbledore is randomly grabbing Lupin’s iconography (his fashion sense, his lesson plans, his job) in order to feel more soft and gentle than the person the books have created. Now Dumbledore knows about the Room Requirement, even though in the books it’s a plot point that he's too much of a goody-two-shoes to have ever found it himself. He loved Grindelwald (past tense.) And Secrets of Dumbledore is mostly about him being an omniscient mastermind so that a magical deer can tell him that he was a super good and worthy guy, and any doubt that he’s ever felt about himself is just objectively wrong and incorrect. Also now Aberforth has a neglected son, so he’s reframed as a bit of a hypocrite for getting on his brother’s case for not protecting Harry. 

So to summarize, I think Dumbledore began the series as this very eccentric, unpredictable mentor, whose abilities took a hit in Books 3 and 4 in order to make the plot happen. He teetered on the edge of a ‘dark’ framing for like a second… but at the the end of the series he's written as basically infallible and godlike. I’ve heard people say that JKR’s  increased fame was the reason she added the Rita Skeeter plot line, and I don’t think that’s true. But I do think her fame may have affected the way she wrote Dumbledore. Because Dumbledore is JKR’s comment on power, and by Book 5 she had so much power. In her head, I don’t think that Dumbledore is handing off jobs in a manipulative way. She sees him as empowering other less powerful people. That is his job as someone in power (because remember - people who desire power shouldn't wield it.)

Dumbledore’s power makes him emotionally disconnected from the people in his life, it makes him disliked and distrusted by the Ministry, but it doesn’t make him wrong. That’s important. Dumbledore is never wrong. Dumbledore is always good. That’s why we get the Blood Pact that means he was never weak or procrastinating. That’s why we get the qilin saying he was a good person. It’s why we get the tragic backstory (because giving Snape a tragic backstory worked wonders when it came to rehabilitating him.) And that is why Harry names his son Albus Severus in the epilogue, to make us readers absolutely crystal clear that these two are good men. 

[hunkledunk]

I'm seeing a number of people defending the use of a logitech controller being used in the Oceangate sub claiming it's totally normal for heavy machinery to be controlled by such devices and I feel the need to yell from the rooftops that, while it's faaaar from the worst factor at play here...

NO, IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE TO USE A BUDGET THIRD PARTY VIDEOGAME CONTROLLER TO DRIVE A SUBMARINE

Listen. I hear you. You can use a commercial videogame controller for a lot of surprising things. They're ergonomic, incredibly easy to use, highly familiar to a massive portion of the population, very adaptable to pretty much any system you can slap a usb drive to, but do you know what they're not?

Reliable

They're made with cheap parts and are NOT built to last. I've had to replace dozens of videogame controllers for multiple different systems and for a variety of reasons. Compatibility issues, degrading input accuracy, unresponsiveness, all the way down to plain old wear and tear. Shit, I had to replace a dualshock 4 controller this month because holding directly up on the left analogue stick would have the input wavering 8~ degrees left or right.

I watch a castlevania speedrunner on twitch who uses the Logitech f310. It's an extremely similar model to the one used in the Oceangate sub. He talks about having to replace it every couple of months because they wear down so quickly. These are not devices made to steer one of the single most dangerous vehicles humans have ever created. Let me reiterate, even professional videogame players and speedrunners don't trust their controllers to last longer than half a year at best. Not that Mango is going to be using the sub to practice his tech skill but it says a lot about how temperamental these things can be.

The fact that it's got those little dongers on the analogue sticks for more precise movement should tell you everything, really. They recognise that the accuracy of that thing simply isn't good enough. It's not even a digital input modifier like hitbox controllers have, it's a cheap ass 3d printer looking plastic cone on a third party video game peripheral. It's not a budget issue either. If they needed more accurate fine controls the could've gotten a steering mechanisms with more accurate fine controls.

There's so much wrong with the Oceangate sub that it's a miracle anyone thought it was a good idea. There's no seats. You're bolted in with no way to open the sub from the inside. All the controls are digital with no mechanical backups. There's no distress call system. There's no black box equivalent. The one porthole isn't rated for depths even half as deep as they're going. Communication is demonstrably unreliable. All issues way more likely to cause a catastrophic incident. I would be surprised if the logitech controller specifically was the root cause of this one incident but don't let the truly comically bad engineering of the sub in almost every other sense trick you into thinking that it's acceptable for such an expensive and dangerous vehicle to be steered by a device many wouldn't trust to control mario with a consistent level of precision.

[soupinaboot]

Fuck it. Every Steve Harrington headcannon I have because I've been rotating that boy in my head like a pig on a stick Part 2 this is a little more in depth than the first one but only by a smug

- Epileptic, either since he was young or developed it over time due to all those concussions he keeps getting

- Favorite fruit is blackberries I have no reason

- Kinda sad but he never really had friends, yeah he hung out with Tommy and Carol but that was about it. Like after the fall out with them he was by himself, alone. I feel like if he was as popular as we think he is, he would have at least one other friend right?

- Does not have a filter at all. That one scene where he just casually says, "Oh yeah my parents are out of town because my mom doesn't trust him to not cheat on her any who!" and I feel like he just kinda does that

- Star Trek fan but he just does not comprehend that it's supposed to be nerdy (this is not my own I saw someone else headcannon this please tell me if you find them I can not)

- Absolutely sucked at ELA, could be cause of dyslexia or not whatever you want buttercup

- But on the topic of dyslexia, this headcannon is one of the main reasons why I love math nerd Stevie so much. Like, ELA test and History test are mostly long paragraphs that he needs more time to read through and his teachers don't care enough to give him extra time like he needs. But math tests tend to have a small paragraph that he can read faster or just focus on the numbers and finish on time, so he just got really good at math so he would have at least one class he passed

- Survives off of coffee, lord knows he needs it

- My most random headcannon is that since his parents were never really around or cared much for his safety, he used to hang out outside a lot and explore the wildlife around, got really into nature and animals, bought nature books etc. But his dad told him nature and animals were girly and forced him to stop even though he really loved it

- If he does ever go to college (which he doesn't have to, though if Robin went he would probably go with her), he would either get in education major and become a math teacher or some form of environmental degree

- His love language is quality time

- Among the three of them, Steve and Carol were the closest. Yes, Steve and Tommy met first, and yes they tend to call each other their best friends, but in actuality Carol and Steve were best friends. They have mean girl energy.

- He used to also play hockey when he was younger but stopped playing due to scheduling and shit. But he really liked it cause whenever he would practice there were these older figure skaters who would teach him figure skating (he kinda liked it more than hockey but he never told anyone)

- Speaking of scheduling, he is always tired due to his packed schedule. Since he was young, his dad forced him into a lot of sports and didn't really give him a break. Add that to his piano lessons, his jobs, studying that his dad forced him to do, friends, etc... he is just perpetually tired. And it fucked up his sleep schedule developing into insomnia as he got older

- Most of his and Eddie's dates are just them taking naps

- Once he meets Corroded Coffin they all become best friends. Like best fucking friends

- Specifically Steve and Jeff

[bishopsbeloved]

crystal clear

kate bishop x fem reader

there’s something about kate bishop that you can’t get enough of. you need to be close to her, always, but you’ll take whatever you can get — even if that means you’re just her fuckbuddy.

fwb to lovers, fluff and angst (happy ending), mentions of sex, god i love kate bishop, 3.3k words

read this fic on ao3!

Kate Bishop doesn’t swing by your borough very often.

When she does, it’s for either superheroing or sex. Her being in the area for the former will inevitably lead to her calling you for the latter.

You met through a mutual friend in college. You got on really well as friends at first, but you were undeniably attracted to her (who wouldn’t be?), and at a drunken New Year’s party she proved that attraction mutual when you were her New Year’s kiss. You ended up doing a lot more than kissing that night, and when you woke up in her bed the next morning she ever-so-casually suggested that the two of you “do this again sometime”.

“It’ll be good for both of us,” she shrugged. “You’re stressed with school, I’m stressed with… this,” she nodded over at her suit and bow, haphazardly discarded in the corner of her room.

You knew it wasn’t a good idea. You knew somewhere deep within you that you wouldn’t be satisfied with just sex. Kate Bishop is the kind of person that it’s difficult to get enough of, and you wanted all of her. But you’d take whatever you could get.

The two of you laid out ground rules, of course. Neither of you would sleep with anyone else (Kate didn’t have the time to find anyone else, and you didn’t have the interest). You wouldn’t tell any of your other friends (“America will never let me hear the end of it,” Kate said, nose wrinkling), and, most importantly, rule number one, you wouldn’t let it ruin the friendship.

“It’s just sex,” Kate insisted. “We can’t— I don’t do relationships.”

It’s not like it was news to you. Kate Bishop doesn’t do relationships, ever. Everyone knows it. You bit your lip and nodded, stomach already sinking a little. In retrospect, that should’ve been your first warning sign.

You hadn’t meant to break rule number one, though. Honest. If anything, it’s Kate’s fault, for being so… Kate. And it’s didn’t happen all at once, either. In an effort to maintain your pre-existing friendship, you both continued your routine of coffees every Wednesday morning, and walks with Pizza Dog in Central Park. Everything was as it always was on the surface, but within you could feel a shift begin, no matter how badly you wanted things to stay the same. Every time you caught yourself staring at her too long or laughing too hard at something dumb she said or your heart doing that stupid fluttering thing, you did everything in your power to put a stop to it. But you were helpless. Kate Bishop is a beacon, a lighthouse, and you’re drawn in to her against your will, no matter what you’re doing — whether it’s movie night or a coffee not-date or those late-night talks after sex or, yes, the sex itself. The sex is great. Just like everything else with her.

Fuck.

It happens gradually, so gradually, but everything comes to a crescendo when you roll over one morning and she’s already awake, staring at you with such depth and warmth in her big blue eyes. You blink back at her for a moment and know with frightening clarity that you’re in love with her. It’s crystal clear. You can taste your love for her on your lips when she kisses you good morning, and it terrifies you.

You don’t know what to do. You can’t tell her, that’ll ruin everything. It’s the number one condition of this arrangement — don’t jeopardise the friendship. This will do more than just jeopardise it. She’ll never want to talk to you again. And now that you’ve gotten used to Kate Bishop’s presence in your life, you never want to let it go. She makes your days brighter, she’s a joy to be around no matter what you’re doing, and you want to be around her in whatever capacity is achievable. Even if that capacity is friends who fuck sometimes.

So even though it’s a bad, awful idea, even though you’re already breaking the most important rule of the agreement, you carry on with it. You respond to every you up? text and then try to ignore the way your chest hurts the next morning when she walks out the door. Sometimes she’s gone before you even wake up. You think you prefer that, in some ways. At least you don’t have to watch her go.

Kate’s visits to your part of the city are sporadic, and mainly motivated by you, to be honest. There’ll be times when she doesn’t call in on you for a week, and then the next she’ll be at your place for three nights in a row. (She always makes an effort to maintain your Wednesday morning meets, though — a gesture you’d be touched by if you knew no better.)

This week has been one of those in which you haven’t seen her at all. Your life is a little less bright when she’s not around, although you do your best to distract yourself with college things and coursework, and your attempts are generally semi-successful. You’re just getting ready to turn in for the night when your phone chirps out the little notification tone reserved exclusively for Kate, and her name flashes on your lockscreen.

kate bishop <3: you awake? i’m abt five mins away

Your heart is in your throat, but you of course tell her yes.

kate bishop <3: ok omw

you: do i need to have the bandaids ready?

Your teasing, of course, refers to all of the times she’s shown up on your doorstep a little worse for wear. You’re sure you’re a qualified nurse by this point.

kate bishop <3: no

kate bishop <3: …yes

you: see you soon

You place your phone down, grinning stupidly to yourself.

(You are very, very stupid.)

In barely any time at all she is sat on your kitchen counter with you stood between her legs, gently dabbing at the most recent gash on her forehead.

“It’s just a flesh wound,” you reassure her exasperatedly.

“There was a lot of blood,” she pouts. You laugh softly.

“That’s what flesh wounds do. Even small ones. You should know that by now,” you tease, carefully extracting a Band-Aid from the packaging.

She sighs. “No, I think I’m seriously injured, and I need a pretty girl to kiss it better.”

If literally anybody else had said that you would not be smiling dopily back at them with a stomach full of butterflies. But it’s Kate Bishop, so you place the Band-Aid over her forehead cut before dropping a kiss on top of it. “Better?”

“Maybe if we kissed in… some other places.” The latter half is said against your skin as she wraps her arms around your waist to draw you in closer. You can’t help but melt into her arms as she begins to trail kisses down your neck, and the lower she gets the more open-mouthed they become. She grins wickedly when you start to make those little noises at the back of your throat that she loves to draw out of you.

“So sensitive,” she murmurs, her hands beginning to slide lower. Her eyes meet yours and they’re dark and stormy in the way that sets your stomach alight.

“Katie,” you pant, and she pauses to look up at you. “Maybe we shouldn’t— if you’re so seriously injured,” you try breathlessly, and she laughs. (The sound sends a little shiver up your spine. You adore her laugh.)

“You know I’ll eat pussy no matter what’s wrong with me,” she retorts, and you feel your face heat up. Yes, you do know that. You know it from experience. There was a time she had a broken nose, and — well — the activities she roped you into didn’t help that broken nose.

So you let yourself succumb to her touch, as you do every other night she wants you, and try your best to quash the bad, bad feeling that’s been threatening to surface the last few months.

Part of it is guilt, you think. You’re pretty much lying to her — or lying by omission, anyway — when you continue to pretend you’re not breaking the most important rule. You kind of feel like you’re violating her. She didn’t sign up for her dumb fuckbuddy hopelessly pining after her.

But also, you’re beginning to feel that maybe you deserve happiness. Maybe you deserve better than being the dumb fuckbuddy who hopelessly pines. You want to love, and be loved. You can’t stomach meaningless sex anymore, and you can’t stomach being meaningless to Kate.

Maybe if this ends now, you and Kate can still salvage your friendship.

You know ending things won’t be easy. That’s why you’ve been putting it off for this long. But you have to stop giving yourself false hope. It’s getting pathetic.

Even as you’re coming on her tongue you tell yourself resolutely this is the last time you’ll sleep with Kate Bishop.

When the act in question is over, she lays her head on your bare chest, humming softly. Your love for her hits you all at once; it sets you alight and sickens you all over again. You can’t do this anymore. This ends now.

“Kate,” you say quietly. “I’ve been thinking.”

The way that you say it makes her shoulders tense, she can tell something’s not right. She moves to sit up so she can see your face and take your hand between hers. You gently retract your hand, you don’t meet her eyes, and the cleft between her brows only deepens. “What? What is it?”

“I think,” you say shakily, “I think this… should end now.” You swallow, still not really looking at her.

“Why?” She says it quietly, and you can’t glean much else from her one-word response.

“I don’t really wanna be someone’s fuckbuddy anymore. I want to be someone’s girlfriend,” you admit.

Kate is silent for a few moments. “You know that I— I don’t —”

“Do relationships? Yeah,” you exhale. You tilt back your head, looking at the ceiling, anywhere but her. “So that’s why I’m saying we should— maybe we stop.”

“Okay,” she says eventually, and despite yourself you feel your shoulders sag a little as she confirms your beliefs. She doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. This is what it’s always been — just sex.

You feel her eyes on you and you’re careful to keep your gaze averted. You’re certain that if you look at her you’ll cry. Because you’re not looking at her, though, you miss the way she opens her mouth to say something else before thinking better and closing it again. You don’t see the way her bottom lip trembles as she turns away from you and begins to gather her various belongings, scattered across your room. You grab your phone from the nightstand and scroll through it mindlessly while Kate fixes her messy sex hair in the mirror. You only look up when she moves to open the door.

“I’ll… I’ll text you when I’m in the neighbourhood,” she says half-heartedly.

You press your lips together and nod. “See you around, Katie.”

“Bye, Y/N/N,” she murmurs, and closes the door behind her. You finally allow the tears to spill from your eyes.

You didn’t expect her to actually follow through. There’s radio silence between the two of you for a good while. You chicken out of breaking it to ask if Wednesday mornings are still on, and she certainly doesn’t initiate conversation, so you don’t see or hear from Kate Bishop for almost a fortnight (which is probably for the best, you’ll admit, since she’s left you in a right state). When she finally does text you, you almost fall out of your bed reading it, and have to double check that you’re not seeing things.

Sure enough, though:

kate bishop <3 (now):

can i come over?

You hastily type out a reply.

sure, when?

kate bishop <3: now lol?

kate bishop <3: i’m already omw

This makes you shoot out of bed. You’ve taken the definitely-not-breakup hard, and pretty much haven’t left your bed in the two weeks since you last saw Kate, much less your apartment. You’ve kinda just spent your time crying, eating ice cream and ignoring America’s threatening texts that come through when you miss another game night. You’re just not ready to face Kate in a social setting. One on one, though, is probably manageable. At least if it goes downhill no one else will see you cry. You’ll need to clean yourself up, though.

You spend the few extra minutes you know you’ll have, because Kate says hi to every dog she sees on the sidewalk, shovelling clothes from the floor into your closet in a vain attempt to make your place look a little more presentable, and questioning why you said yes to her coming over at all. When you hear a knock on the door, the silly little pattern only she does (“how else will you know it’s me?” she always says), you feel sick to your stomach.

You answer the door, and the two of you blink at each other for a few moments. Sure, it’s only been two weeks, but it also feels like there’s been a lifetime of change between you. The Band-Aid you put on her forehead when you last saw her is gone, and the cut beneath it is almost healed. A few others have replaced it on various different parts of her face, though. Her hair is loose, her cheeks are a little flushed from the journey to you and god, she’s so pretty.

“Hi,” you squeak out, and before you can do anything else she’s rushed forward and her arms are wrapping around you, tightly. It takes you a minute to process but then you return the hug, just as hard, breathing her in like it’s the last time you’ll ever see her.

“Hi,” you say again, but it’s much quieter this time, a whisper in her ear. She hums a greeting back into yours.

“I really missed you,” she murmurs quietly, and your breath hitches. You weren’t expecting any of this. She holds you close to her for a moment longer before finally letting you go. You don’t really know what to do with yourself, so you just step aside and let her into your apartment, closing the door behind her.

She wanders into the middle of your room, intently taking in everything like it’s her first visit. It’s not — far from it — and not much has changed since she was last here. There’s a moment of silence, and you can see the cogs turning in her brain. She’s building herself up to something. You don’t know what exactly, you don’t know what’s about to happen, but she’s got that faraway look in her eye.

“Kate,” you say tentatively, “what—”

She spins around to look at you, like you saying her name has grounded her, and she earnestly reaches for your hands. You give them to her uncertainly.

“Y/N,” she says, and her voice is thick with emotion in a way you’ve never heard it before. “I—”

She studies you intensely for a long, long moment before pulling you flush against her and pressing her lips to yours.

You can’t help it. Your eyes flutter shut at the familiar sensation, at the way she tastes, and your hands slide through her hair. The way she feels against you makes your head spin, and you’re gasping into her mouth and she’s whining, backing up towards the couch, and then suddenly she’s sat on it and you’re on her lap and Kate’s tongue is beginning to slide against yours, and it’s so good. You groan, your brain beginning to catch up with your body, and it takes every shred of willpower you possess to gently push her back.

“Katie,” you say weakly. She leans up desperately to reconnect the kiss, and when you shift from her lap to the empty seat on the couch next to her she makes a quiet noise of protest, her hands reaching out for you. “Kate. I told you I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Her face falls. She looks like a kicked puppy, and your heart clenches, but then she presses her lips together and looks up at you with determination.

“Y/N,” she says, reaching again for your hand. She’s not deterred when you don’t let her take it. She takes a deep breath, and you know as she opens her mouth you’re in for one of her trademark Kate Bishop rambles. “I am a fucking idiot. Think of the stupidest person you‘ve ever met and times it by twelve and that’s me. I literally—” She buries her face in her hands for a moment before continuing. “I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have let you end things. That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Which is seriously saying something, you literally watched me shoot down a priceless historical bell last year. You are— you’re— it wasn’t just sex to me, Y/N,” she says desperately, and this time when she reaches for your hand you let her. “I don’t think it ever was. I don’t know. I said I don’t do relationships, because it’s true usually I don’t, and that’s what you agreed to when we started this so I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, and also I didn’t know how to tell you that I’m maybe a tiny bit obsessed with you, like I’m always thinking about you, how do you say that to someone? That’s not a normal thing to say, and then I didn’t want to freak you out and then you wanted to end things so I thought maybe that would be easier for you, I thought maybe you didn’t want me like that so I just let it happen which why did I do that, but then it was too late because I’m an idiot so I was trying to let it go, but I can’t sleep, Y/N, all I can think about is you, and I’m sorry I didn’t know what to do, but I do. I do want a relationship with you, I want it so bad I want everything with you, and if you don’t then you can forget this ever happened because I don’t want to make anything weird and America will kill me if I ruin her perfect Wii Sports game night team, but I just— I really had to tell you. I want a relationship with you, I want to be your girlfriend. I want— yeah. Yeah,” she says breathlessly, her eyes bright, and when she finishes her spiel her shoulders drop in the way they always do, like a physical weight has been lifted from her body. You stare up at her adoringly, and take her face between both of your hands.

“Kate Bishop,” you say sincerely, “you are such an idiot.”

“Wh—” she manages, before your lips meet with hers again.

This kiss is different. For the first time, the two of you are on the same page. Kate Bishop is yours, she wants you, and the thought makes you want to sing. On her lips now you taste something beautiful blossoming between you. You kiss her until you’re breathless, until the air that’s in your lungs is hers, and then you rest your head in the crook of her neck while she holds you as close to her as she can, clutching you like she can’t believe this is real, her chest heaving and hands shaky.

“I— I really do want to be your girlfriend,” she whispers again, and this time it’s so gentle and vulnerable. Your heart bursts at the way she’s so earnestly giving herself to you, no matter how much she swore she wouldn’t.

“Okay,” you tell her, and when your eyes meet hers are full of hope. “Okay.”

[reccyls]

Your Hand, My Lady - The Mature Butler Pledges Loyalty (Victor story)

My translation of Victor's butler event story

--

As a result of the Evil King's Game, my exclusive butler for the day is...

Victor: Oh dear, how could this be! Turns out there isn't a number 6 after all, so the order gets turned back onto the king!

...the person who started this round of the game in the first place, Victor.

Victor: But one must put their heart and soul into what they have agreed to do, so do allow me to be your butler.

Kate: S-sure. I'm looking forward to it.

(Victor as my butler... I wonder what that's going to be like?)

...

Kate: Mm....

Victor: Ah... Apologies, Lady Kate. Did I wake you?

Daylight streaming into my room pulled me from my sleep.

As I sat up, I noticed Victor drawing open the curtains.

Kate: It's fine...

(Oh, right. Victor's going to be acting as my butler for the entire day today.)

Victor: Heh. Are you still sleepy?

He spoke quietly, almost in a whisper, mindful of how I was only barely awake. His voice was sweeter and gentler than usual.

Victor: You have no duties to attend to today, so if you wanted to sleep in, that would be no trouble. It is still half past 5 in the morning.

Kate: Half past five...? Then, I'll sleep a little more.

Victor: Of course. Sleep well, and I will let you know when breakfast is prepared.

...

As I curled up in bed once more, Victor silently approached and adjusted my blanket.

With a warm, ticklish feeling in my chest at Victor's care, I enjoyed my extra bit of sleep that morning.

After I had my fill of sleep, Victor woke me and I got dressed for the day. I also enjoyed a delicious breakfast.

Kate: Today's breakfast was really good!

As Victor spoke, he held a fork with a piece of apple up to me.

Victor: That is good to hear. I'll be sure to pass your words on to the chef.

Victor: ...My lady, how about some fresh fruits for dessert? Say 'aah'.

Hesitantly, I ate the offered fruit.

(Is he really going to feed me...?)

(Is this a normal thing for butlers to do?)

Kate: Mm, this is good too!

Kate: ...But, um, it is a bit embarrassing to do this.

The gap between me and Victor felt smaller than normal today.

It wasn't just regular kindness I could feel in the depths of his words and his expressions. He gave off the impression that he truly and deeply cherished me.

Victor: Please do forgive me.

Victor: I was enjoying myself too much and I have ended up making you uncomfortable.

Victor: Could you find it in your heart to forgive such an incompetent butler...?

Victor: Thank you very much. My lady is truly kind.

Kate: You don't have to apologize! You're not incompetent at all!

Kate: Please just keep doing what you think you should. If I'm actually uncomfortable with something, I'll let you know.

...

(I basically spent the entire day with Victor. It was a lot of fun.)

...The truth is, this past week, I'd seen some pretty horrible things during my missions with Crown.

I wanted to go on those missions so I could get used to that kind of tragedy, but all I ended up doing was make myself more and more depressed...

(...And that's when Victor proposed the Evil King's Game, and he ended up as my butler for the day.)

(Thanks to being able to spend time with him, I feel a lot better.)

But just like nothing sad lasts forever, neither do the good times.

Every hour that passed was one hour less that I would be able to spend with Victor.

Kate: Oh, thank you. If you don't mind?

Victor: Ah yes. Before dinner, may I braid your hair, my lady?

Victor: During breakfast and lunch, your hair seemed to bother you.

Victor: Of course not, leave it to me. I'll be sure to style your hair to be both practical and beautiful.

Victor sat me down in front of the mirror. Parting my hair with a comb, his large hands began to braid my hair.

Kate: ...You really know a lot about women's fashion, Victor.

Victor: I am your butler, but I do usually work as the queen's aide.

Throughout the day, Victor was careful to ensure that my clothes wouldn't end up dirty, and helped to suggest complementary accessories when I was unsure which ones to pick.

And the hands working through my hair were obviously very familiar with the act of braiding.

Kate: Oh, right...

Since he worked closely with the queen, it made sense that Victor would have picked up a deep understanding of women's fashion.

I was embarrassed that such a simple thought never even crossed my mind.

And not only that, but I became aware of a muddled feeling not unlike fog spreading through my chest.

(I had thought that I was the only one who would be able to see Victor as a butler.)

(I just didn't consider that I wasn't the only person to know this side of Victor.)

Victor has a lot of friends and acquaintances beyond just Crown, and I've never seen the face he wears in front of them.

For some reason, today, that obvious fact was like a dagger to my heart.

Kate: Victor, can I ask you for something?

(Is there a side of Victor that only I know...?)

(...Ah. That's right.)

Victor: Of course, my lady. Whatever you need, I am at your disposal.

Kate: This isn't something that happens every day, so I wanted to see you wearing a butler's uniform.

Victor: A butler's uniform?

Kate: Yeah... Have you ever worn one before?

Victor: No, never... And if this is what my one and only lady wishes of me, then I do not mind wearing one.

Kate: I'd love to see it!

And so, Victor went to go put on a butler's outfit.

(Maybe that was kind of heavy-handed of me, but I'm really excited.)

As I stood in the hallway waiting for Victor to be done changing, William approached.

William: Kate, have you seen Victor around?

Kate: He's in his room right now. Changing his clothes, to a butler's uniform.

Kate: Huh...?

William: A butler's uniform...? Ah right, he is our little robin's butler for the day, isn't he.

William: Sorry for this, but may I borrow your butler?

William: Her Majesty has summoned Victor for an emergency.

(Victor is my butler for the day... but the queen's orders take priority.)

Kate: Okay. It's Her Majesty's orders, after all.

William: ...You seem displeased.

I flushed, embarrassed at being seen through by William, who had let out a chuckle.

(Feeling lonely because Her Majesty has stolen Victor from me... I'm acting like such a spoiled brat.)

Just then, I spotted Victor, who had now finished changing, approaching.

But I knew that if I looked him in the eye, I would end up asking him not to leave, so I made sure to look away from him.

As I held back, William had walked over to meet Victor halfway, and the two of them began to speak.

It was most likely about the queen's summons.

Kate: ...Victor. Do you have a little time?

(Victor is going to leave.)

(But... if I could leave a little of myself in his heart...)

Propelled by a sense of possessiveness I didn't even realize I had, I called out to Victor.

Victor: ...William, can you go on ahead?

Seeing something in my expression or body language, Victor sent William off first.

Kate: Just a second, Victor.

I took one of my ribbons, and tied it around a lock of his hair.

As I told him my wish for him to keep me in his heart...

Kate: ...Today, you're not just the queen's aide, but also my butler.

Kate: Even if you're far away... please remember that.

Kate: ...This is my order, as your lady.

Victor took my hand and pressed a gentle kiss to it.

Kate: ...

Kate: I... I-

Victor: ...Of course. Today, I am your loyal butler.

Victor: And so would you tell me the reason for the fog that clouds your thoughts?

I didn't know whether to reveal the truth of what I wanted, but every second I dawdled was another second spent obstructing the queen's orders.

Gathering my resolve, I opened my mouth to speak.

Kate: ...I'm jealous of the queen, of how much time she has with you.

Kate: If I could... I want to order you to stay here.

(Every moment I spend with Victor is precious.)

(I wish we could be together forever... I've ended up thinking that way.)

Victor: ......

But the reality of the situation is, I'm in no position to make that demand. The queen's orders are absolute.

And so because I cannot always be by his side in reality, I wanted to make a place for myself in his heart.

I turned away from my thoughts, back towards Victor, who had fallen silent.

Kate: I'm sorry. I don't want to burden you, so just--

Hurriedly, I tried to pull my hand back, but Victor raised it to his lips once more.

Kate: ....!?

(Th-that... that wasn't just a kiss, was that his tongue!?)

Seeing my flustered expression, Victor cracked a teasing smile.

Victor's words were full of uncharacteristic seductiveness, and my heart began to pound loudly.

Victor: Just because I am your butler does not mean that you can let your guard down, my lady.

Victor: The more you say such sweet things, the more I wish to mark your body with my kisses...

Kate: ...I remember.

Victor: Do you remember what I told you earlier, when you had dressed up as a maid?

Victor: I said to make sure you only give your heart and your body to a partner you are happy to choose.

Victor: And so... may I think of myself as that partner, my lady?

Kate: You...

Kate: .....Yes. You may.

If I gave the wrong answer or if I evaded, I got the feeling that Victor would slip far away from me.

Determined to tell him the full, complete truth, I opened my mouth.

Victor: I see.

Victor let go of my hand.

(Oh....)

Victor: I'm sorry, I must go now. Until next time.

With that, he quickly walked away.

But Victor did not return before the end of the day.

(I... That was way too forward, wasn't it...!)

(When he comes back, I need to apologize for making things weird...)

...

(I wanted to wait for Victor, but at this rate I'll end up staying up the whole night... I should go to sleep now.)

Kate: Who's there...?

With that thought, I extinguished the lamp and got into bed.

Remembering all of Victor's smiles from the past day, I began to slip into slumber. And just then--

My bedroom door quietly swung open, and a scent that brought to mind a quiet deep night approached.

When I opened my eyes, there was a figure kneeling over me in bed.

Victor: ...It's me. Victor.

Kate: Oh, you're back from the palace...? It's late... you worked hard today...

I was on the cusp of nodding off, barely able to keep my eyes open as I welcomed Victor back.

Kate: And... why are you in my room?

Victor: ...Don't you know?

Kate: Is it about work...?

Victor: Hmm... Something a bit more personal than work.

Kate: Personal? Is there some kind of night banquet that you want to invite me to?

Victor: That sounds lovely, but no. The truth is...

Victor brought his lips to my ear.

Victor: ...I've come to steal your heart.

(Steal my heart?)

Kate: Hehe... There's no point.

Victor: Why not?

Kate: Because you already stole it a long time ago...

Kate: Why do you want my heart anyway, Victor?

I haven't been able to stop thinking about Victor after he left for the palace.

If that didn't mean that he had already stolen my heart, then what did?

(I'm pretty sure his eyes are more beautiful than my heart...)

Victor: Why, you ask?

Victor: Because it's so beautiful, I couldn't help but want it.

Victor: ...

His face was hovering above mine. In the darkness of the room, his eyes seemed to glimmer with light.

As I kept staring, those gorgeous eyes drew closer and closer... His long, beautiful hair fell across my face.

Kate: Haha, that tickles...

I felt the touch of something delicate across my neck, my shoulders.

When I realized that it was Victor's lips pressing across my skin, I felt no desire to push him away.

It made me think of all the times that Roger's corgi, Ale, would play with me. I giggled.

Victor: That's all? It just tickles?

(Huh...? Victor's voice sounds a little unhappy about something?)

As I was wondering what it could be about, Victor's lips moved from my shoulder to my ear.

Kate: ...Ah...

The heat of his tongue traced the shell of my ear. I trembled at the unfamiliar sensation.

Victor: Kate.

He whispered my name into my ear like he was trying to express a secret love that should never be.

With that strange joy held in my heart, my eyes slid shut, and I finally drifted off.

(He's looking only at me...)

(I don't know why, but that makes me really, really happy......)

...

William: ...I saw you paying a visit to Kate's room last night.

After finishing a discussion about work, William wasted no time in starting to gossip.

Victor: Are you accusing me of something?

William: Heh. Does it look that way?

Victor: No. You look like you're just having a laugh.

William: Not quite. I'm not poking fun, I am quite happy.

William: After all, were you not doing what your heart wanted?

William: And?

Victor: I'm sorry to disappoint you, but no.

Victor: I only went to her room to warn her not to give her heart away so freely. And...

Victor: Kate doesn't remember it at all. If she does, she probably thinks it was just a dream.

William: What a shame.

At William's words, a vague smile drifted to Victor's lips.

William: So why did you rig that game in the first place?

William: Surely you must have known there was no number 6 stick in the first place.

William: That's it? No other reason?

Victor: Nothing gets past you, Will.

Victor: Lately, Kate wasn't coping well with the missions she had joined. I just wanted to be able to do something for her.

----

Victor: ....No.

Victor: Even if I did have feelings for her... there is nothing I can offer her.

Victor: Because "Victor" belongs to "Victoria".

Notes: Victor's last sentence is written as "Because I belong to Her Majesty", but what he says out loud is what I have written down.

[takami-takami]

Like a Candle at Both Ends.

includes— hawks x reader. minors dni. smut.

warnings— sub!keigo. reader uses a strap. double penetration with a twist. multiple orgasms. overstimulation. dacryphilia. cum as lube. slight feminization (of keigo). slight degradation. some brattiness. face-sitting mentioned.

In which you blow the birthday boy's back out like a candle. Topping Keigo with a fleshlight underneath him, that way he gets so overwhelmed he cries. ♡

You're at least ninety percent sure Keigo won't remember a damn word he says, tomorrow.

It's a pity, truly, that his gorgeous babbles of incoherency that entertain you aplenty in bed will only live on in your memories; but you suppose you can't really blame him. It would be difficult for any man to remain focused in this situation— let alone one who gets as lost in the floaty depths of subspace as Hawks.

You've always known your boyfriend to have a penchant for indulgence. If the tabloids get one thing at least half-correct, it's that Keigo is quite the glutton for satisfying his baser urges.

Tabloids call him a foodie. They snap pictures of him at different restaurants every afternoon during his usual two o'clock lunch breaks, sinking his teeth into delicacies with a moan, only to wash it down with the most caffeinated coffee he can get his mitts on.

And those same tabloids write adorable little periodicals about how their media darling just loves a little something to eat.

But you know better.

The reality is, it's more that Keigo is simply a brat who likes to indulge. He likes to be pleased.

He likes to fill and be filled, to stuff and be stuffed; but you don't blame them for not reading between the lines, there. You suppose you do have the unfair advantage of seeing him make that same, satisfied face after you've milked his cock to empty itself past the point of shooting blanks.

If anyone on this earth is privy to a crucial little piece of information the rest of the world doesn't know, it's you. The paparazzi that flock like vultures outside local diners in the hopes of catching the number two may snap pics of him smiling to himself as he digs in, but they don't have the slightest idea what else Keigo likes to sink his teeth into.

Namely: your neck, if he's lucky; cock throbbing in your vice grip, on days you grant him permission to teethe at your skin until the splotches of color from his marks settle like satisfaction in his chest. 

But mostly— and especially, on nights like tonight— the revered, dignified hero Keigo Takami just sinks his teeth into the pillow like a goddamn whore.

Right now, as Keigo lays on his front and bites back some rather pathetic sounds, the plush pillow beneath him is looking unbearably chewable to his eyes. Your delicate hand is reaching around his body like a serpent, snaking underneath his pelvis to grip his sensitive length so carefully in your palm; and the man below you is beginning to suspect he might need another outlet for his sexual frustrations, soon.

"I c-can do that myself," Keigo releases the pillow and sputters, though his body doesn't protest in the slightest. In fact, his hips arch away from the toy positioned below, in order to allow you rightful access to his cock.

"Yeah, obviously," you answer with a squint, sliding your fingers along his length. "But I want to do it for you, so I will. Are you complaining, Kei'?"

"Mm. No," he hums the right answer, shifting comfortably to rest his cheek against the pillow and settle his weight on his knees. "But I might start complaining if you don't hurry it up. I don't take this long when I put it in you," he whines, smushing his cheek further into the fluff to resist the temptation to look down. He doesn't flinch a bit when you thread your fingers through his hair in response, practically petting him.

Still, Keigo sighs in pleasure rather than dissatisfaction when he shuts his eyes. He can't deny that your soft skin feels incredible on his cock, crackling with electric charge; but the fleshlight trapped beneath his hips is enticingly lubed and ready for him, and that simple fact is causing him to grow impatient. The way you're rubbing his tip against its entrance doesn't help in the slightest. It feels more agonizing than pleasurable, at this point.

"Stop playing with it and put it inside already," he groans. 

"Aww," you coo. "Are you feeling pent up today, Keigo?"

It's meant to be a tease, but the response you get is heartbreakingly genuine.

"A little bit, yeah," Keigo answers truthfully, cocking his head to the side for a second. His neck pops with the motion, achingly, and he cracks his neck the other way to make it look intentional. Still on his belly, he crosses his elbows and tucks his chin atop his arms. 

Keigo looks genuinely fatigued when he blinks. Black lashes rest on his cheekbones a little longer than usual today, and you're aware that the only thing hiding his prominent eye bags is a few layers of expensive, caked-on concealer. 

You swallow a pang of resentment at the sight. 

Next year, you'll be sure to make a few phone calls with some choice words and demands you refuse to budge on.

Somehow, the urge to spit an uncharacteristically shrill "let me speak to your manager" over the phone to some HPSC bigshot isn't quite as strong as the urge to spoil Keigo tonight, instead; to make your baby forget the press interviews his handlers drag him to, around this time every year. The meetups, the galas— even those photoshoots you're silently a bit thankful for because he looks so irritatingly handsome in them.

You take out your irritation on his wings, gripping the sensitive primaries in one fist. To his delight, you begin to stroke the sensitive, silky bristles along the sides of his feathers, teasing them with your fingertips.

"Woah, woah, woah," Keigo smirks. The plumage of his wingspan preens with the attention, arching into your touch like a purring, spoiled housecat. "Easy there, doll. What's gotten into you today— oh, fuck me."

The moan dies down into a pleased rumble in his chest; and before he knows it, his hips arch just like his glorious wings, grinding his backside against the pretty, pink appendage strapped to your hips by a few medieval-looking buckles.

"Nothing," you lie. "Just wanted to shut you up, but it's not working all that well." 

"Liar," he snides. "You know that makes me loud, baby."

"Wasn't exactly trying to hide that, but nice try."

Your palm finally guides his tip into the toy, slipping it deep inside while he sighs in momentary relief.

But the relief is just that. Momentary.

Keigo's hardly bottomed out for a dozen seconds before he's whining and trying to press himself back against the tip of your strap, too.

"Oh my god," you laugh genuinely, dumbfounded by how quickly he begs for the next little indulgence on the list. You're too busy popping the lid of a plastic tube and drizzling your strap with lube to babysit him; so for now, you ignore his whorish little display for attention. 

"You want it that bad, already," you ask, slicking the length and plopping the tip against his fluttering rim, giving him a few lovetaps.

"Yeah," Keigo smiles, deliriously. "Wanna feel you fucking against my prostate. Give it to me."

Cheeky. On another day, you'd deny him strap altogether for acting like he doesn't need to do anything to earn it.

"Tell me if anything feels weird," you say instead, kissing his shoulder once while you grip the tip in one hand, pressing it against his hole. "Does it feel okay?"

"Mm, yeah," he rolls his shoulders. "But can you, uh, let me just lay here a little, at first? You know, while you do your thing?"

Keigo shakes his hips in an attempt to look enticing with the shameless request. "I'll be really good. Promise."

"You're such a fucking pillow princess," you accuse as you slide inside his already prepped hole and begin to move; and just as quickly as you utter it, the pseudo-insult backfires in the form of a high pitched, utterly pleased moan below you.

"I-I can be your princess," Keigo immediately agrees, with some nods alongside each of your thrusts. When you sink into him, he sinks his teeth further into the pillow than his mind sinks to delirium— deeper than his pride sinks down to a new low. 

"I'm yours, I'm your princess," Keigo repeats. "I'm your fucking princess," he moans, reaching one hand back to claw those delicately manicured fingernails into the meat of your thigh. Each nail is meticulously cut, shaved down like the hair on his lithe body and painted an iridescent gold to match his eyes under your bedroom light.

It's whiny when he pleads, "fuck me"— and it sounds even more pathetic when he squeals it. 

With every infuriatingly slow thrust of your hips, Keigo makes a show of displaying his greed. He drags you into him, vice-grip in one hand locked in your flesh to pull it flush into his. His other hand busies itself clutching the drool-soaked pillow against his bare chest for stability.

You treat him delicately, fucking him too slow for him to even think of blowing his load? Oh, that makes him growl through his teeth.

"Just blow my back out, already!" He practically mopes, cock still throbbing in his toy. You can hear the purse of Keigo's lips, his adorable, jutted bottom lip that you're certain is wobbling at this point. 

"C'mon," he grits. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that you should, like… Keep your promises? They're no good if you don't, y'know."

There are only a few days in the year Keigo is allowed to act out like this, and he'll be damned if he doesn't capitalize on them to the fullest.

The brat's gonna put you in an early grave at this rate, you think. You may not be able to punish him today, but you certainly can give him exactly what he wants. 

And when you do give him what he wants, the reality becomes abundantly clear: he can't actually handle it.

When you speed up, he pants like a dog— or, more aptly given this pretty little position, dripping submission and precum while he gets his ass stuffed, face down— Keigo pants like a bitch.

With his tongue far too heavy for his mouth, he resorts to whimpering into the pillow— his poor little crutch. The fleshlight is still squished between his pelvis and the bed, so every thrust you grind against his ass milks his cock, too. It's impossible to keep his head clear and focused when he's stimulated on all fronts; but bless him, Keigo does try.

He tries so hard, pathetically, to focus through the sounds of his lubed cock rubbing against the wet silicone, through the full feeling stuffing his insides at the same time.

Yet even still, it's not enough for him. He snarls in frustration as he shoves his hand between his thighs to adjust the cocksleeve, angled so he can stuff more of his cock in it, enveloped down to his base and pressing near-painfully against his balls. 

Fuckin' perfect, he sighs, finally able to direct his attention to his lovely partner digging out his guts from behind.

"Make me your b-b—" He starts and trails off, brows pinched with effort. "Make me yours," he corrects.

Oh? You tuck that little tidbit away.

You suppose it's been countless minutes since you began railing the poor, whimpering pup beneath you. That is, if you were to judge by the rasp in his voice that builds each time he cries his heart out.

Keigo is, despite it all, a very, very good boy. He gives you his visual cues when he feels that telltale tingling in the swollen, blushing tip of his cock; the one that lets him know how close he really is to bursting along the edge. He tenses his already defined muscles and looks back at you with the cutest puppydog eyes, just to make sure you know he's close. 

"I'm gonna cum," he warns verbally, too.

But you don't stop.

If his muscles weren't tense enough before, they certainly are now.

"Baby?" Keigo near-panics, turning a bit to gaze up at you pleadingly. Your floral bed sheets twist into spirals under each of his fists, wrung in a manner not unlike his cock. "Baby, I-I said I was gonna cum."

"Yeah, I heard you the first time." You peer down your nose and eye the bead of sweat that slithers down his neck. 

You watch the tremble of Keigo's hips as he does his best to keep his position poised like a prized showdog, dutifully still. He resists the urge to meet your strokes, instead offering every scrap of control to you as he lets the length of your strap carve out his insides. With every angled rock of your hips, the tip of your curved cock rubs against his poor prostate, stimulating it and making it a nightmare of an endurance test to hold himself back from spilling.

Habit is a powerful thing. Of course, Keigo's body recognizes the familiarity of this song and dance. His cock, ever well-trained, expects you to deny its release; to still your hips and cause his balls to ache, heavy with deprivation, just like you always do.

But tonight, you don't stop. 

Your hands are still gripping his hips and your strap buckles are still clinking with your desperate movements. Your pelvis keeps pressing him deeper, manually pushing him in and out of the toy below; and he begrudgingly accepts your generosity, because it's possible that you just felt a little altruistic today. 

After all, it is his—

"I'm gonna cum," Keigo whimpers. "Fuck, baby, I'm gonna cum!" 

And with his nails tearing at the sheets, Keigo's world goes white; almost as white as the sticky mess he makes of his poor little toy, tip flooding it with rope after rope from his throbbing cock.

It rings in his ears when he climaxes, overloading his poor brain with endorphins and making him scream into the pillow he chomps down on.

Still, your delicate hands guide his hips back and forth, ignoring his babbling to watch him fuck his own cum into the toy. 

If it pleases you to watch Keigo continue the motion long after your hands have retreated, you keep it to yourself.

"Ah," he nearly shrieks, high pitched and pretty. "Too much! Ah, fuck, baby, please—"

"Yeah? How does it feel, sweetheart?"

"W-Wet," Keigo hiccups, hips stuttering just the same as his voice. He paws at the sheets when he continues, kneading them in his palms like a kitten. "So fucking wet."

"Mhm," you hum, sitting back on your haunches. You decide to make him use his words for your entertainment, to sate your indignance at his prior tantrums. "And why is that, babe?"

Your palms slide possessively down his hips and up the curvature of his back, meeting his arch. They trail toward his shoulder blades, fingers splayed as Keigo tries to chase them; and to your amusement, he hardly looks to be in the proper state to process the fact that he's actually being mocked, let alone protest it. 

To Keigo, all he knows is it simply feels good.

Keigo answers obediently, instead. It takes you by surprise, the way his unabashed filth spills without shame. Arousal pools between your thighs, but your body remains still— if only to watch the way he fucks himself on your cock, balls deep before he does the same using his own to the fleshlight below.

"Because it's stuffed full of my cum. It's s-so wet, full— fuck," he slurs, voice airy and utterly uncontrolled when he draws his hips back onto your thick, pink strap, down till his ass meets your pelvis; and he thrusts his cock back inside the toy, the subsequent shlick somehow louder than how he runs his mouth. 

Back and forth, in and out, Keigo irreverently milks himself from both ends. The motion of it smears his own spent along the sides of his cock, acting as the most obscene lubricant. It's messy, unbearably loud in its slick sounds.

It must sound as satisfying to hump as it feels, Keigo thinks. His lip wobbles at the thought, hoping it impresses you, and he bites the pillow below him.

"Aww, it's full?" You don't bother to muffle your laughs as you kneel behind him, simply watching as the once-powerful hero below you does all the work and fucks the snark out of himself, for you. The sound of your condescending laughter breaks him, whittling down his vocabulary as his mind sinks to that familiar, fuzzy place.

The silicone is unbearably tight around his length, even though you were careful to pick one out that he could fit into. The thickness and length of Keigo's cock does tend to make shopping for toys a chore, you muse.

You're not complaining, though. You'll take a couple extra hours of scrolling through fleshlight reviews on forums for the well-endowed before making a purchase, if it means you can keep getting split open by his massive cock when he bends you over the bathroom vanity.

Or the kitchen counter. Or the leather couch in your living room. Or the nearest single-stall restroom sink after you accidentally call him something you shouldn't have in public.

But tonight, the nicknames you call him sound nothing like "sir."

They sound like "puppy", like "sweetheart", like "good boy."

The ribbed, silicone rings inside are designed to squeeze his cock with each stroke. It normally feels simply pleasurable; though, after an orgasm that explosive, his cock feels nearly raw in its sensitivity, nerves exposed like live wiring and sparking electricity all the same.

"It hurts," Keigo squeaks through his fat, wet tears; and you begin to pull out and fuss over him. 

That is, until he wails and grips your thigh close in his claws.

"Wait, I want it to! Don't pull out, please don't, please don't pull out. I was so close," he slurs.

"Already?" Your face scrunches with disbelief.

"Uh huh," he nods furiously.

And just like that, your grandiose plans of discovering how much is too much for the glutton end up fizzling out. 

"Figures you'd be into overstimulation," you roll your eyes, palm slapping once against his behind as you watch it go from fleshy peach to red. "Whore."

"Huh?" Keigo drools. He sounds like a lost puppy, brain too fuzzy to register a single word— well, other than whore, but that's only because that word made his cock feel kind of nice.

"Not gonna remember a damn word you said tomorrow, are you," you ask, watching him rock his hips in desperation, drowning in his own pleasure. "Too lost when you get fucked, huh, puppy?"

"Mm-mm," Keigo shakes his head furiously, blonde tufts sticking up like stray feathers. At the sight of it, you're overcome with a sudden urge to claw at his scalp. 

"Mm! Love you," he adds for seemingly no reason when you yank his neck back by the roots, throat bobbing with his strained swallow.

Heart pounding like the percussion of a heavy metal drum with moans just as erotic, skin slick with sweat and cock wet with his own release; this is the man Keigo is reduced to as you take charge once more. You bully his prostate, thighs burning with effort and breath panting in his ear. Your left hand releases his scalp to grip his jaw and keep his back arched into your chest, while your right shamelessly milks his cock, fleshlight in hand.

It's too much. His moans are broken, climbing in pitch like a crescendo until the dam breaks and his mind shatters once more. 

You know how loud Keigo can be. You're well aware, well prepared; yet, like every time you make him sob and scream when he cums, it travels between your legs like lightning, regardless. 

After he collapses into the sheets, it takes Keigo ages to catch his breath. His body still shudders and twitches with the aftershocks of his orgasm, wings flapping twice before tucking against his shoulder blades, submissively. 

There's drool on the pillowcase, you note; and it's been chewed to bits.

When you pull out, he gasps. You rub the tip against his twitching rim in an attempt to soothe him, and his gasp settles into a sigh.

"Good?" You're out of breath, yourself, when you dare to ask. "You look like you lost one of your nine lives, for a second."

"Eh, it was alright," he smirks. "Could you do it again? I wasn't paying attention."

"Shut the fuck up," you slam the pillow against his side. "You're such a brat."

"You love it," Keigo teases, rolling onto his back and stretching. He exposes his belly. Blissfully comfortable, fucked-out, and entirely satiated.

His eyes nevertheless catch between your legs as you unbuckle the strap and let it fall unceremoniously. He wets his lip and swallows, pupils dilating.

"C'mere," Keigo says, making grabby hands. Expectant, he shifts in eager anticipation, settling into an acceptably comfortable position as you place your thighs on either side of his head— he won't be moving for quite some time, after all. 

"Oh," you add, pretending as if you suddenly remembered something. "And Keigo?" 

"Mhm?" He hums, craning his neck toward your core, eager to lap himself another helping to fill.

"Happy birthday, baby."

[demonvibez]

Impulsive

Characters: Lord Diavolo x GN! Reader Rating: Teen Tags: comfort, fluff, gn reader, MC uses magic, kissing Word Count: 4.3k+ A/N: Happy (Belated) Birthday to My Sweet Prince, Lord Diavolo ♡ I'd give him all three realms if I could, but for now, I'll settle for sharing this silly little fluff fic. This may be my favorite thing I've written so far, so I hope you all enjoy it as well!

Late was the hour at the House of Lamentation, when you find yourself tossing and turning in your slumber, your mind currently pulled into the depths of a rather vivid nightmare. It was one of those nightmares that just feels so real, filling your senses and sending you running from the unknown terror, your heart pounding as you run deeper into what looks like the House but feels like a maze. Surely there aren't this many hallways when you're awake?! And so many doors! You run to the end of the hall, ripping open the large double doors and running into the next...which seems eerily identical to the last. Except when you get to the end of the hall this time, you run into a dead end. Panic now striking your heart you turn to the window, only for it to vanish as you touch it. A crimson ooze begins to drip down the walls, and you can feel the shadow entity getting closer, your breathing becoming more erratic as your back presses into the corner. You're trapped. Something reaches out towards you from the abyss, it's sharp claws coming into view the closer it gets.

Just before it can grab you by the neck, you fully awaken from your night terror, pushing yourself to sit up in bed so that you may try to catch your breath. You hyperventilate for a moment, grabbing your chest with one hand as the other maintains a tight grip on the bed sheets as your eyes quickly dart around the room. You're awake, and you're okay. You snap your fingers to magically turn the lights up, so that you may inspect the room closer. Nothing on the walls - and you let out a relieved sigh. You sit with yourself for a moment, in an effort to allow your breathing to return to normal, before flinging your legs over the side of the bed and standing up. You cross the room and make your way over to the window near your desk. Reaching out to touch the window, a slight hesitation makes your hand tremble. As your fingertips touch the cool pane of the glass, you breathe out an even bigger sigh of relief. The window didn't disappear this time - you are definitely safe and back in your own reality.

So, why can't you shake this eerie feeling? That same looming anxiety that filled your mind as you were being chased by the shadow creature. You shake your head, trying to just will it away, as you pick up your jacket from the back of a chair and pull it on. You cross your arms to hug yourself as you walk back over to your bedside table. Eyeing your DDD on the charger, you reach down to pick it up, unlocking it and opening the contacts in one fluid motion. Before you can even process what you are doing, you are already dialing a number, the phone pressed to your ear as you sit down at the edge of the bed. It's not until you hear his voice at the other end of the line do you really register just what you're doing. The Future King of the Devildom murmurs your name, a slight hint of concern lacing his voice - he's surprised to hear from you at this time of night. 

"Is something wrong? Are you alright," he asks you. He has no idea that the sound of his voice alone is so soothing to you. You let out a shaky breath that you had no idea you were holding, scooting back on the bed so that you can lean against the wall.

"Y-yeah...I'm okay...I-" you cut yourself off, your eyes briefly widening. Are you really bothering Lord Diavolo with your foolish little problems? It was just a nightmare, and you're awake now. You're sure the Prince has way more important things to worry about than the silly night terrors of a human. "I'm so sorry for bothering you, I know you must be busy wi-" he cuts you off by saying your name once again, this time with a slightly firmer tone.

"I've told you time and time again that you may come to me for anything, at any time," he reminds you. Softening his tone, he exhales before continuing, "Please. Tell me, what's wrong?" He truly meant it when he said you can come to him for anything. It warms his heart to think about you coming to him for help, especially when you have so many demons around you that are also willing to give you the world.

"It's...I just...it's gonna sound really stupid..." you trail off, as you fidget with the hem of one of your blankets.

"I assure you, nothing you could possibly say to me is ever going to be 'stupid.'" As you let out another exhausted sigh, you can hear the squeaking of his desk chair as he leans back against it. Lord Diavolo has always been very sweet to you, doing his best to accommodate all of your needs since you've dropped down into his realm. He always seems to have the answer to your problems, especially the more massive ones - what will it hurt to vent to him now?

"I...had a rather vivid nightmare. It felt so real to me..." You begin to describe your nightmare in great detail, not holding back any of the emotions that came along with it. Retelling this graphic tale almost makes you feel as though you are reliving it, and the crack in your voice pierces Diavolo's heart as you try to hold back tears while you finish your story. "And then I woke up," you say with a sniffle, "I guess I was quite shaken by it all, and I called you because...well, it was kind of an impulse to be honest, but I think I just really wanted to hear your voice," you admit, a rosy blush painting your cheeks. You were a bit glad Lord Diavolo couldn't see you right now - you aren't sure, but you probably look like a bit of a mess. Something else you are unaware of, is exactly how much your admission has effected the Young Prince. The idea that you instinctively sought him out for comfort is enough to get his heart racing, and now it is time for him to act on impulse - which is something he is rather good at.

"I'll be by the House of Lamentation to pick you up soon," he declares, the sound of his chair scuffing the floor ringing out across the phone line. Your eyes widen, and you jump up to stand on your bed in surprise.

"Uhhh...excuse me, WHAT?!?" There's no way he's serious. You hear his signature laugh, and now you know he's not joking.

"I'm coming to pick you up! A change of scenery is always a good idea after a nightmare - especially when the nightmare occurs where you're trying to sleep. I'll just leave a note for Lucifer, and bring you back to the Castle. This is going to be so much fun," he says excitedly. An impromptu sleepover with the Future King of the Devildom does sound like a fun idea - but doesn't he have more important things to do than to entertain you?

"Lord Dia-"

"AH! What did I say about using my titles when it's just us?" You can't help but to let out a tiny giggle, and it sends his heart over the Devildom moon.

"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. I just don't want to be a burden on you. It's late, and I'm sure you have more important things to-"

"Nonsense," he cuts you off again. How can you possibly think you could ever be a burden to him? "I had just finished my work for the night when you called, and Barbatos hasn't even started the tea yet. We are just going to quickly portal over to you, and bring you back. It will be no trouble for us at all. Please, let me help you." Please, just let him take care of you. If you could see the look in his eyes right now, you'd see how much he yearns to pamper you with all of his affections. You spend so much time time and energy taking care of all of your demons, he wants so badly to be the one doing the same for you. Let him show you that he can be there for you, that he is capable of being your protector - even if it's from terrors created by your own mind.

"Okay...if you're really sure, then I'm game. Can you just give me like...five minutes?" He honestly doesn't have to ask you twice to hang out, you'll take any excuse to see Diavolo. You don't want to inconvenience him, but he's insisting, so why not take the gorgeous golden-eyed demon up on his offer? And even if you won't be able to fall back asleep, at least you'll have his company; his perfect smile, his soothing voice, the warm embrace of his hugs...

Before the Prince can even answer, he hears the sound of you jumping off of your bed and running around in your room. He can't help but to let out a small chuckle at how cute he thinks you are. He would tell you that there's no need to bother yourself, that you may come as you are - but as he finds himself in front of his own mirror, straightening his tie and hand-combing his hair, he relates to wanting to look impressionable for the person you're so deeply in love with. He's unsure if you return his feelings, but the idea of you scrambling around your room just to look cute for him for a surprise date has heat rising to his cheeks - which is ironic, seeing as you're doing exactly that.

"Of course! I'll send you a text just before we head over," he replies. Just after saying your goodbyes and hanging up, you race to your bathroom to freshen up your face. You had already tore off your jacket and discarded half of whatever other comfortable clothes you had worn to bed that night. Is this really about to happen?! Talk about a plot twist! One moment you're thrashing around in bed consumed with your nightmares, and the next your about to be picked up by the Future King to go hang out with him at the Demon Lord's Castle - your life can be such a rollercoaster at times.

You quickly wash your face at the sink, splashing the water in your face once more and staring into your owns eyes in the mirror, making sure this isn't also a dream. You've experienced nested dreaming a few times in your life, and it would sure as hell be disappointing if you weren't really about to see Diavolo. You shake your head, brushing off the thought, before turning off the water and exiting the bathroom.

You walk back across your room, and freeze in the doorway of your closet. The back of your closet is so dark - no matter how long you let your eyes adjust, the shadows casted in the back corners of the room still have this eerily ominous feeling. Your hand shakily reaches out towards the light switch, the hair on your arm standing up as anxiety courses through your veins. Just as you're about to flip the light switch on, a loud ding comes from your DDD, and you can't help but to jump. Your heart pounds in your chest for a few seconds before you remember why your phone had dinged - they must be on their way. Damn it! You're nowhere near ready! You flip the light on and start scrambling through your clothes, pulling out a pair of cute pajamas and putting them on. 

Just as you are pulling the bottoms up to your hips, you hear a slight cracking sound coming from the hallway, followed by a low humming noise. Barbatos' portal - they must be standing outside. Just as you arrive at the door, you hear a light knock, and you open it to find the Prince standing there in his RAD uniform, fist still raised to knock a second time. Behind him you can see Barbatos still in Diavolo's room, on the other side of the portal, his back turned to you as he sets a tray of sweets down on the glass coffee table by the bed. You look up at the gorgeous demon in front of you, and you can't help but to smile as your eyes connect with his. And the way he smiles back down at you, with a radiance brighter than any Celestial sun, is enough to make a small flurry of butterflies dance around in your stomach.

"Hey there! Ready to go?"

"Yeah, one second. Just need to grab my jacket real quick-" you go to turn around and pick up your jacket that you had previously thrown onto the floor, but Diavolo's voice interrupts you once again.

"There's no need," he says in his usually jovial tone, "I can have Barbatos light the fireplace if you'd like." Just then, you see the Butler turn around and nod at you, before speaking to you through the portal.

"Yes, and I have just started steeping a fresh pot of Hellfire Rose Tea. We have plenty of warm blankets, fresh from the dryer. You will not go cold in our care," says Barbatos, his lips curving upward in a knowing smile. For half a moment you wonder to yourself if he already knows what the course of tonight's events will be, but you don't really have too much time to wonder about that right now. 

"And of course, if all else fails, there is this." Looking down at his own chest, he starts unbuttoning his red RAD jacket. A blush creeps across your face as he unbuckles the golden belt and pulls the coat off of his large frame, holding it out for you to slide into. Your heart feels as though it is going to jump into your throat as you slide in your arms, the scent of Diavolo's cologne filling your senses as you pull the jacket tighter to your chest. The coat is rather baggy and long on you, but you feel so cozy that you don't even care. 

"Thank you so much for all of this, Dia," you say with a light blush still on your cheeks as you look up at him bashfully. Hearing the little nickname you've given him, the Young Prince can't help but to blush as well. No one has ever been so informal with him; he hopes you'll use it more, the sound of it coming from your lips like music to his ears. You move to try to take a step forward, but your feet accidentally step on the bottom of the coat, causing you to stumble forward a little.

"Oops, I suppose I didn't take that into account. Here, let me help you with that." And before you can even ask, Diavolo bends down and scoops you up in his arms. You let out a small yip as you instinctively wrap your arms around his neck, your little human hands struggling to grip him through the oversized coat sleeves as he adjusts you in his hold. He turns around with you to walk back towards the portal, and you tap his shoulder to stop him for a moment.

"Wait! One sec..." With your right arm hooked around him, you raise your left, shaking it a bit so the sleeve falls down your arm. Your reach your hand out behind him, focusing all of your energy towards the DDD that you dropped on your bed earlier. You close your eyes, visualizing in your mind the phone rising up off the bed and floating into your hand. The more you focus on it, the stronger your intent becomes, and a surge of magical energy within you causes you to open your eyes back up just as the phone glides itself across the room and into your grasp. At the feeling of the phone's plastic case hitting your hand, your eyes widen in surprise as you let out a joyful laugh. "I can't believe it finally worked..." You show Diavolo the phone you just grabbed telekinetically, pride filling your chest and spreading to the smirk on your face.

"Nicely done! Seems as though your sorcery lessons are paying off." That same pride fills the Prince's chest, for you find new ways to surprise and impress him every day.

"Thanks, I've been working quite hard on that particular skill." You slide the phone into one of the coat's pockets before wrapping your arm back around him. He walks the two of you through the portal, and over towards the grey-striped couch next to his bed. The cracking noise of the portal closing rings out once again, the subsequent hum it produced now falling silent. The only sound currently filling the room is that of Barbatos arranging a tea set on the glass top of the coffee table, along with the slight squeak of the couch cushions as Diavolo sits down with you, setting you in his lap as he leans back into the corner of the couch. You unwrap your arms from around his neck, making yourself comfortable and leaning back against him, your cheek resting against his collar bone as you drape an arm across his torso. Diavolo wraps his arms around you, pulling you just a little bit closer, and your eyes flutter closed at the warm embrace. That is, until, you remember...

"Oh, fuck," you exclaim, your eyes snapping back open, "did we ever leave a note for Lucifer?" Sure, the Young Prince is best friends with the Avatar of Pride, but it's still usually better for you to ask for permission from Lucifer rather than forgiveness. The Morningstar is no stranger to handing down punishments - even to his favorite human. Diavolo looks down at you, and the look on your face must have been priceless, for you can feel the laughter building up and shaking his chest before ringing out into the open air.

"Yes, in fact, I sent him a text message before making my way over to you. The last thing we want is a concerned Lucifer tearing apart the realm looking for you." And the last thing Diavolo wants is an intrusion by the Eldest Demon Brother. Lucifer always prides himself on how well he looks after you, always stepping up to the plate when he is needed the most. And while he admires all of the traits that afford Lucifer's status as the Avatar of Pride and Right Hand of the Future King, Diavolo sometimes feels as though it hinders his ability to get closer to you. He does his best to mask his jealousy, but you don't miss the way he pulls you just a little bit tighter to his chest. You can feel a faint tingle coming from the location of Leviathan's pact mark, causing your eyebrows to slightly furrow. Was Lord Diavolo really feeling envious towards Lucifer? Over you? Your eyes quickly dart over to Barbatos, who is currently walking out of the bedroom door, most likely to fetch the pot of tea. As the sin continues to stimulate the sigil on your skin, you can only deduce that it must be Diavolo. 

"Indeed, the last thing we want is for our time together to be cut short," you say, looking up into those gorgeous honey eyes of his, "At this point, I'm kinda glad I had that stupid nightmare..." The way he gazes down at you, so loving and full of affection, causes your heart to start beating at a rapid pace. You aren't sure if you're reading the situation correctly, but the moment just feels so...right. Impulse has led you both to this exact moment, and into the arms of the demon you've been pining over for so long. Perhaps your instincts will be right again this time.

Your hand floats up to cup his cheek, and immediately you can feel him lean into your touch. You hear him murmur your name, spoken in a tone laced with a longing you hadn't heard from him before. You both lean into each other, your lips meeting in a kiss that you both felt like you had waited an eternity for - like you both had been trekking across a barren desert, and you finally found an oasis in each other. Your hands glide up so they lace through his hair, as he pulls you so you're facing him, his hands resting on your hips. You lightly nibble his bottom lip, at which you can feel his large hands give your hips a little squeeze, and he obliges you by deepening the kiss that you're both so entranced by. 

You're both so lost each in other's tender embrace, wanting so badly for the moment to continue on endlessly, that you don't even hear Barbatos re-enter the room. The Butler was really doing his best not to interrupt the two of you - he was happy to finally see the Young Master making progress with you, in regards to his admiration. Neither of you had heard the sounds of the door opening and closing shut, so he was a little surprised that the sound of the teaspoon clinking on the glass tabletop is what grabbed your attention. You jump a little bit, your nose bumping into his slightly, before looking over your shoulder to see Barbatos with an amused look on his face - you erupt into laughter, with the other two following soon after. 

"My apologies, I did not mean to interrupt the two of you. However, the tea is ready, along with a few snacks that I have prepared that I know you are both fond of." You give Diavolo a little peck on the cheek, causing him to have the goofiest grin in all three realms, before sliding off of his lap and sitting next to him. Your hands have a slight tremble from all of the excitement, and the last thing you want to do is spill scorching hot Hellfire Rose Tea all over Diavolo and yourself. You reach for the cup of tea Barbatos prepared for you, about to take a sip as the Butler hands a plate of sweets to the Prince.

"Would you like for me to enchant the tea? To ensure that your nightmares will cease," he asks, as he crosses the room to put some music on the record player, turning the volume down so that it may play in the background. 

"No," you say with a slight blush, your eyes darting to Diavolo from behind your teacup, "I have Dia now, so I think I'm good." You smirk as you take a sip, maintaining eye contact with Diavolo as he takes a bite into his Hellfire Mushroom Rolled Cigar Cookie, the blush spreading across his tan face as your words sink in.

The two of you spend quite a bit of time together that night, just sitting in each other's arms and talking about everything and nothing. It started off just chatting in more detail about the contents of your nightmare, but quickly digressed into talking of your fears, your dreams, your ambitions, your aspirations. Diavolo has never connected with another being like this before, and he's all the more glad he gets to grow such a connection with you. And while he listens to your voice, he comes to the realization that there's no one else he'd rather bare his infernal soul to in all three realms. His visions of the future always have you in it, and he couldn't be happier to hear that you feel the same way. You both continue to exchange stories of your fondest memories, making plans to create new memories together in the future. 

Just as Diavolo gets halfway though his story - one of the many tales of him causing chaos to then sneak out of the Castle - he feels the weight of your cheek fall against his shoulder. Your breathing steady and one of your hands gripping his shirt as you accidentally fall asleep in his lap. Between his soothing voice, the soft lull of the music, and feeling completely safe in his arms, you couldn't help but to drift off to dreamland. And he can't help but to just sit and watch you for a moment; you look so beautifully at peace in your slumber, he wants to etch it into his mind permanently. He eventually picks you up as gently as possible - you only stir once or twice. The first time at the motion of him picking you up; the second when he sets you down on his bed and you subconsciously miss the feeling of his warm embrace as he goes to quickly change his clothes. 

He slides into bed next to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close to him, your back pressing up against his chest. As your feel his warmth envelop you, you turn over to face him, one of your arms wrapping around him as well while you're only half awake. He lays on his back, pulling you on top of him, and you lightly nuzzle his chest and mumble an 'I love you' before you fall back fully asleep again. Diavolo's heart feels so full - he never knew three simple words could mean so much to him. He presses a kiss into the top of your head before laying back and shutting his eyes, happier than he's ever been in his life. And while he doesn't want you having anymore nightmares, he'd give anything to spend the rest of his nights like this with you.

· demonvibez ♡ 2023 · do not copy, repost or modify · · likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! ♡ ·

[oneforthemunny]

the public needs to know!! how big is each eddie and what does he look like down there

(i remember we did a ranking like this last year but that was before we expanded our eddie family)

alright we’re getting graphic (literally lol there’s a pic) so nsfw ahead minors dni

ok the best way i could describe them is with these photos lol so attaching them here

penis sculpture the 4x4 by jamie mccartney

i’ll do by row then from left to right (so ex: row two, number three. would be second row down, third across.)

also idk about exact inches type sizes bc i have horrendous depth perception so ill think 5 inches is 3 or 10 is two feet long. like i’m awful at anything like that lol. so up to you, i’ll just describe the look.

let’s get into it.

older!eddie has row three, number two. definitely more of a grower. a little on the girthier side and veiny.

boxer!eddie is row one, number four. definitely has a hook in it like it’s just so fitting for him. one of the bigger ones length and girth wise. he’s packing a punch (literally). a shower 😮‍💨

janitor!eddie is row one, number one. literally perfect dick if that can be a thing. in my mind, he’s about the size of the one in the sculpture too. man is huge and does not know what to do with it lol. does not know it. I think he tends to be more of a grower but is also pretty big flaccid.

rockstar!eddie had a beautiful dick, which i’ve mentioned before, and i feel he’s row three, number three. veiny, big, thick, juicy, a show off just like him lol.

cowboy!eddie has row two, number three. more on the girthier side than length. nice and thick. leans more on the grower side but with the tight jeans he wears, you’d never know lol.

dom!eddie row one, number two. honestly just perfect for him lol. not super big but definitely more than enough. a shower.

hockey!eddie is row two, number one. hung HUNG!! more on the skinny side but the length makes up for it. definitely knows how to use it lol. a shower as well.

bouncer!eddie row four, number two. idk how to explain it, it just feels right for him. veiny and a hook in the head. hits you in all the right spots. he’s a grower and it’s kinda startling at times, a little intimidating which also fits him.

modern!eddie row three, number one. average size, a little thicker, but really just very pretty lol. more of a grower.

mafia!eddie screams row two, number two. feels nearly perfect which fits him very well. not too big but over average, not too thick but thick enough to stretch you a little. hits the right spot every time without fail, like it’s made for you. def a shower.