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*Eddie trying to read a map as the designated passenger princess*

Eddie: I don't see anything. This town is fucking desolate and blank.

Buck: Other side babe.

Eddie: Oh.

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*After Buck asks Eddie out on a date*

Eddie: But what if I mess it up and we stop being friends.

Hen, already tired: Then you're either a fool or blind or both.

Eddie: What if I get pregnant?

Hen: Then you ask him to wear protection. Now please go.

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Eddie: Hen, can you please tell Buck that I’m mad at him? We’re in the middle of a fight and we're not talking right now.

Hen: You’re literally sitting on his lap.

Eddie: Yes, what’s your point?

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*Buck during Eddie's first day at 118*

Buck: You know what? Go fuck yourself.

Eddie, smirking: Fuck me yourself you coward.

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Buck: Hey, babe are you an F5 key? Because that ass sure is refreshing.

Eddie: Are you doing another software update? because not right now.

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Hen: How do you and Buck make up after an argument?

Eddie: If I was in the right I get to sit on his face. If he was in the right, I spend a lot of time on my knees until I can't feel my jaw.

Hen: ...

Eddie: Either way I win.

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Buck: I'm happy you're more comfortable with technology Eddie, but if you don’t stop sending these dumb memes I’m going to block you.

Eddie: I can’t believe you’re threatening to block me with the same finger you had in my ass last night.

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Eddie: Hey babe, I’m sad. Hug me

Buck: *hugging Eddie* Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das.

Buck: And das not good.

Eddie: *trying to not smile* I hate that it's working.

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*Buck sees the firefam talking in the kitchen*

Buck: What's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Eddie is? Because Eddie is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Hen: Um.

Chim: I…

Bobby: ...

Buck: No? Never mind then.

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*Eddie after coming out*

Eddie: It just feels amazing to finally spread my legs and be the person that I am.

Buck: You just said 'spread your legs'

Eddie: I said spread my wings. WINGS.

Buck, smirking: Sure you did.

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Hen: Is having a penis fun?

Chim: It has its ups and downs.

Buck: Sometimes it’s a little hard.

Eddie: It’s a pain in the ass.

Bobby: Guys, come on, not during breakfast.

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Buck: Hey, Eddie.

Eddie: Yes?

Buck: I’m jealous of your heart because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.

Eddie: You're such a romantic.

Buck: So let's go to the bunk rooms and fix that.

Eddie: *runs to the bunk rooms*

Firefam at the table: ...

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*Buck as the new interim captain with a clipboard in hand*

Buck: From now on we will be using code names. You can address me as "Eagle One"

Buck: Lucy is “been there done that”

Buck: Eddie is “currently doing that”

Buck: Chim is “it happened once in a dream”

Buck: Hen is “if I had to pick a dude”

Buck: And Bobby is... "Eagle Two"

Bobby: Oh thank god.

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*Eddie trying to sound cool*

Eddie: Fist me.

Buck: I- what the hell?

Eddie: *holds up hand for a fist bump*

Buck: Right, that's what you- Ok.

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*After Eddie joins the 118*

Chim: So, on a scale of one to ten, how much do you like Eddie?

Buck: Somewhere between "fuck him" and "I'd fuck him"

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*Buck and Eddie after an argument*

Eddie: I'm sorry about all the mean things I said before.

Buck: ...

Eddie: I'm assuming the fact that your hand is on my ass means you accept my apology.

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*After Eddie's coming out party*

Eddie: I'm just glad I didn't send any drunk texts last night.

Buck: But you did??

Eddie: What? No, I didn't.

Buck: You sent me a text saying "if you ever want your dick sucked I'd gladly volunteer"

Eddie: Oh, that wasn't a drunk text.