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I bet the JL has a “how fucked are we” metric that’s literally just how many of Bruce’s kids are there.

Like if he pulls up to the alien invasion or whatever with just Robin, then everything’s fine. More than fine, actually, because Bruce feels comfortable enough to bring his eight year old along for the ride. This battle will take approximately fifteen minutes and they’ll all get shawarma after. Not fucked in the slightest.

But if Red Robin shows up too… hmm, okay, this is getting somewhat serious. Tim is one of Bruce’s most trusted partners; he’s the smart Robin, the tactician, the loyal one, and so if Batman brought him along then it means he’s at least a little bit worried about shit hitting the fan and wants one his advisors around. But the combined brain power of Bruce and Tim is pretty much unmatched (DC plot armor for the win), so everything will be fine, basically. Superman might take a hit, but everything’s going to be fine. Just keep calm and you’ll all make it home in time to Door Dash some Panda Express before it closes. So not that fucked.

It starts to get serious after that. When Signal and Spoiler roll up the scene, shit has definitely hit the fan. Batman’s worried enough to call in reinforcements and he’s probably doubting the League’s ability to listen/obey his orders, so he needs a backup plan in case things go really south. But with Signal’s abilities and Steph’s superpower of turning anything into a joke, chances are you’ll be okay. Maybe impaled or something, but okay. But still, fucked.

When Nightwing shows, the JL knows it’s starting to get dicey out on the field. See, Nightwing’s got his own team, his own issues—the fact that he set that all aside to help out his dad is cause for concern. On a scale from 1-10, they are at a 7. Above moderately fucked.

And… oh God. Black Bat? Most of the time the JL doesn’t even see her, but once she makes herself known and starts fighting alongside her siblings, they all start to silently freak out. Black Bat is a fucking machine and if she’s breaking a sweat trying to fight the Big Bad, things are definitely not going to go well. They start praying that Batman figures something out. They freak out. They are intrinsically fucked.

But God Forbid you catch sight of the Red Hood. The prodigal son is a legitimate killer, and if Batman’s letting him blow out brains then the JL knows he’s desperate. And a desperate Batman is not good. At all. They are definitely fucked.

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There is magic in the air

and angels dancing on the roof

when it snows in London

❄️🩵❄️🍷❄️✨❄️

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the real star of the movie <3

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SUPERMAN (2025) dir. James Gunn

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David Corenswet as Superman/Clark Kent

Superman (2025) dir. James Gunn

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Incorrect quotes of Greek mythology

[In the DC Universe] Zeus: We're having a baby. Billy Batson: Oh, congratu— Hera, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.

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My brain the second I sit down to write:

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Imo in order to finish your writing project you need to be unhealthily obsessed with your characters to a point where you question your sanity

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Bully Batson

Billy can be an asshole. This has been said before by multiple kids, including Freddy and Mary. Billy thinks it’s genetic though. He thinks this because he remembers Ebenezer talking about how rowdy and rude “Clarence and his stupid wife” were when they were younger. (Ref to this Puppet post) Billy hid his cane because of that comment. After all, you don’t just call his mom stupid and think there won’t be any consequences. Best part is that Ebenezer just thought he misplaced it. Anyways, so yeah. Billy can be an asshole. He just chooses not to be. Most of the time.

Billy: *watching a kid swing* “Can I have a turn?”

Kid: “No!”

Billy: *sighs and walks away to play on the merry go round*

After a bit of letting himself spun dangerously fast and thrown off the merry go round a couple times. He went back to the kid to see if he could have a turn.

Kid: *still swinging*

Billy: “Can I have a turn now?”

Kid: “No! It’s not your turn yet!”

Billy: “At least have a turn.” *walks off to the monkey bars*

After hanging upside down on the monkey bars and letting the blood rush to his head causing him to nearly fall and snap his neck, he went back to the kid.

Billy: *annoyed that he’s not on the swings yet and nearly dying at the monkey bars* “Is it my turn now?”

Kid: “No! I already said it’s not your turn! Wait.”

Billy: *stares for a solid few moments just watching the kid swing back and forth before timing himself and pushing the kid on the swing*

Now, this didn’t achieve what Billy had hoped, which was simply pushing the kid off the swing. No, rather, it instead caused the kid to be pushed to the side mid swing causing him to swing weirdly and make the swing turn all around and jerk causing the kid to be thrown off. Billy, not expecting the swing to react that dramatically. That didn’t stop him from hopping on the swing though. It also didn’t stop the kid from whining about a couple scrapes they got.

Billy: *now swinging happily with barely any remorse*

Parent: *stomps over* “Little boy! Little boy!”

Billy: *slows his swinging* “Yes?”

Parent: “Did you push my son off the swing?”

Billy: *shameless* “Yeah.”

Parent: *sees the shamelessness* “Where are your parents?”

Billy: “They’re dead.”

*silence*

Billy: *goes back to his whimsical, happy swinging*

Now, that’s just as Billy. He “bullies”, as the media nowadays calls it, his villains as well. He doesn’t consider it bullying though.

5 Minutes and 39 seconds of Captain Marvel bullying his villains:

Marvel: *using magic to take individual salt grains and sprinkle them on Mr. Mind*

Mr. Mind: *being restrained by magic and the little grains feel like little pricks and itchiness* “ACK- STOP THAT!”

or

Marvel: *stole Sivana’s glasses* “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Sivana: “I DON’T CARE YOU DOLT!” *shooting at him with a laser gun and missing every shot*

or

Marvel: *has Captain Nazi in a headlock and is giving him a noogie*

Captain Nazi: *literally doing everything in his power to try and get out, including catching and biting*

or

Marvel: *keeps trying to scare the shit out of Adam by almost saying Shazam whenever he’s up close and personal* “Sha-”

Black Adam: *jerks away and flies like ten feet away*

Marvel: *literally points and laughs*

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H...E...L...P!!! 😭😭

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Things I think have Happened pt.2

I might make these “Things I think have Happened” posts into a series because I have a lot of little scenarios that are miscalainous or just sent to the drafts never to be seen unless I desperately need an idea.

Marvel: *sighs and looks like a kicked puppy*

Flash: “Cap, buddy? Is something wrong?”

Marvel: “Well, it’s just, Mrs. Wilkins got a lobotomy the other day. The poor soul.”

Flash: *sounds horrified* “What…? How did she get a lobotomy?” *is thinking some villain did this*

Marvel: “Well, you know, her husband pushed for it.” *shakes head in disappointment* “It sucks too because she was really really nice and would give me- uh some homeless kids any loose change and a cookie whenever she could.”

Flash wasn’t wrong about a villain pushing for it. It just wasn’t a super villain.

Also, Billy hired some ghosts to haunt their house and drive the husband mad with guilt about what he did.

or Batman: “Captain, could we discuss something?”

Marvel: “Of course! Is something wrong?”

Batman: “No, it’s just, do you have a mood disorder?”

Marvel: *sounds concerned* “What do you mean?”

Batman: “I have watched you rock back-and-forth, holding your head in your hands and practically sobbing after you poured some soda and it fizzed to much causing the soda dripping over the edge.”

Marvel: “…Oh.”

Batman decided not to comment of the fact that after Marvel had that previous breakdown. He did a 180 and was like “this is fine!” and went about his day.

or

Mary, Junior, and Marvel: *all on the floor in a rec room and watching Wild Krats*

Robin!Damian: *also on the floor, but he gets a pillow, and is watching it with them*

Flash: *recording this entire thing from the doorway*

A lot of comments on that video were wondering if Marvel is supposed to be the League babysitter or something.

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Tawky Tawny asked him to look after Billy, who can't transform yet. J'onn is trying really hard, honestly.

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Sweet Dreams

Billy likes sleeping. Just as any normal human child would. Unfortunately though, he’s not a normal human child. He juggles two jobs, Whiz Kid and the JL. Technically three if he counts patrol and actually being a hero in Fawcett as separate from the JL. Point is, he does a lot of stuff and sleeping is a wonderful to refresh himself. So, one day, he tried to get sleep as Marvel to make up for that lost time.

Then, the dream started.

Marvel: “Zeus? What are you wearing?”

Zeus: “Huh?” * looks down at his clothes* “The heck… Billy this is your dream. Why did you make me appear like this?”

Marvel: “Maybe because I didn’t expect to see you?”

Zeus: “Why wouldn’t you- Oh wait. You’ve never slept in your Champion form have you?”

Marvel: “No?”

Zeus: “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Come.” *gestures for him to follow and starts to walk off*

Marvel: *follows*

Zeus: “See, Batson, whenever Champions fall asleep, that can allow their patron gods to invade their dreams. That’s actually with me and the others are doing right now!”

Marvel: “Oh uh… cool?”

They played some cards, and yelled at each other about how people were cheating. Solomon won nearly every game. Except Uno which Mercury somehow won. There was a lot more suspicion of cheating when that happened. They then just sat in a circle like preteens at a slumber party and started gossiping about the other gods and goddesses from both Greek and other mythology. All in all, it was basically a sleepover, and if Billy was being honest, he didn’t hate it. Though, what he did hate was the fact that when he woke up he felt even more tired then before he went to sleep.

He noticed this was a pattern after a couple more times of him trying to make up for lost sleep as Marvel. As a result, Billy started kicking himself out of the dreams so he could actually sleep. The gods didn’t like this because Billy was apparently a chill little guy to hang out with. He of course, still said no, but you see, the Gods can be really, really… annoying when you say no to them.

Marvel: *sitting on a roof in Fawcett*

Zeus: “JOIN US!”

Marvel: “No.��

Achilles: “Please, Batson?”

Marvel: “No.”

Solomon: “Billy, please don’t leave me alone with them.”

Marvel: “Sorry, Solly. Still no.”

Solomon: “Again with that nickname…” *honestly doesn’t know whether he likes or hates it*

Zeus: “Wait, why is Solomon the only one who gets an apology?”

Marvel: “He’s the only one I feel bad for.”

Zeus: “WHA-”

This made Zeus mad so he pettily took away Billy’s ability to use lightning as Marvel. The Batson boy went a week before he caved and hung out with them in his dreams again.

Zeus: “You’re here!”

Marvel: *frowniest frown on his face*

He was then sequestered away by Zeus to watch Achilles and Hercules have a hot dog eating contest.

Mercury: “Who do you think is gonna win, Bill? We can have a bet!”

Marvel: “I don’t have any money to bet.”

Atlas: “Yes, Hermes. You forget he’s a… how do humans nowadays say it? Ah right. A brokie.”

Marvel: “Atlas, you just fell so hard down my favorites list your below Zeus now.”

Atlas: *extremely offended* “BELOW ZEUS?!”

Zeus: “HA!” *literally points and laughs*

The Next Day…

Wondy: “Brother, is something wrong? I’ve never seen you drink coffee before.”

Marvel: “I spent my night watching Achilles and Hercules shove hotdogs down their throats to see who could out-eat the other. Meanwhile, Atlas and Zeus were fist-fighting in one corner while Mercury kept trying to coerce me into making a bet with him, even though I had literally no money to make said bet.”

Wondy: “Oh.”

Marvel: “Yeah. Oh.” *sips his coffee* “Anyways, how was your night?”