#this answer? a good mess

[aardvaark]

i was thinking about how i wished leverage had a birthday episode for some of the characters cause that would be sweet, but then i realised something and basically…. okay here’s my thoughts in quotes form, just for fun

hardison: so when’s your birthday? i could plan something for us and the team to do and-

parker: i dont know

hardison: you don’t know… your own birthday?

parker: no, how would i know? pshh, cmon, you’re telling me you remember EXACTLY when you were born? watch this - hey, eliot, do you know your exact birth date?

eliot, innocently passing by, who was canonically anonymously dropped off at a hospital as an infant: no, how would i know?

parker: that’s what i said!

hardison: excuse me?? what is going on right now

sophie, walking into the apartment: whats wrong?

hardison: parker and eliot- well, okay, when’s your birthday? i just have to prove something.

sophie: …….july 12th

hardison: why did you pause? wait, is that your birthday or sophie devereaux’s birthday?

sophie: ………… (guilty silence)

parker: see, no one knows their real birthday! haha you’re so weird sometimes, hardison

hardison:

hardison: what the fuck guys

[auriidae]

do you think an angel and a demon could be on-purpose best friends...

[oldkamelle]

Still accepting Ideas? If so, Spy asking advice on Sniper on how to tell Scout that he is his dad.

[omaano]

oh but I gotta see "something sappy and pretty" please oh please

There you go, I cleaned it up for you! (I’ll figure out a way to make it PrettyTM eventually, see how that’s been the sticking point on this one? That is why it’s been a Wip for so long T^T)

On an unrelated note, I completely lost the ability to see any recent post in the bobadin tag, does anyone have any idea what I could do to remedy that???

[canisalbus]

IDK if I'm phrasing this correctly, but in my brain, Vasco is, like, the personification (caninification?) of an afternoon chilling on a back porch swing.

.

[tswwwit]

was bill mad at the cultists BEFORE he knew about the whole “we cut out your husband’s tongue for being ‘blasphemous’” thing? id imagine he’s the type to be mad at anyone (but him, if current dipper is into that) messing up his stuff. and was there a point where he clocked just how traumatized cult!dipper was?

Bill's initial impression was that they were a bunch of goddamn jackasses, but he wasn't mad at them yet! Sure, they scratched up his husband pretty deeply, and that's more than worthy of some retaliation. But it did summon him right to the guy! Punishment could be put off; he was pretty high on getting to see his human again! And, hey, what's the point in obliterating a perfectly good cult? Someone would pay eventually, but there wasn't a good reason to exterminate 'em. Once he brought Dipper home, and noticed how he behaved, though - That's when he started getting really irritated.

Too scrawny, for one. Too scared, for another. Bill's no stranger to inflicting horrible mental damage and the signs were all there! It'd be one thing to have a worshipful, devout husband bowing and scraping and flattering his ego. It was another entirely to see him shiver in terror while avoiding Bill as much as possible. Displaying no curiosity, no stubborn tendencies. No real kick to the guy, while also failing to eat well or drink well or thrive, even outside of that environment. And always, infuriatingly, remaining completely silent.

Something went down back at that ramshackle patched-together pile of crap they called a cult, and it was not to Bill's liking. And once the tongue thing came to light? That was the last fucking straw.

[luimagines]

Ohh, you think Warrior, Four, and Legend would have a dislike for humans? Can you expand more on that? Like the specific attitudes they grew up around that made them feel that way?

(If you want to and aren't too busy, ofc!)

I actually would have thought that Hyrule would like/distrust them the most. He would already come from a turbulent home situation as it is where you're not sure who you can trust and if Hylians are predisposed at this point to not trust/like humans, then he would have the distaste squared.

For Four and Legend, it would just be a product of the society they grew up in, I'd imagine. They don't intend to be malicious but they're warry about letting Reader get close. Between the two, I think that Legend would have it a bit worse than Four purely because of the amount of times he's been bitten by people in general.

Four might be calmer. I remember I wrote once where his Zelda was actually one of the worse one and he was horrified to see it in person. But I don't remember if that before or after his character development in this regard.

Warrior, I think, would be distrustful of people in general. Sure, he can charming and peaceable on the surface, but there's a reason I headcanon him as the best liar of the group. Not only is he also a product of the society he would grow up where Hylians would look down on humans, but he's been stabbed in the back from his own people on the war. And if his people, who are supposed to "better", can do that- what is a lower human capable of?

He'll be real subtle with it though.

It's all in the name of survival and making sure Reader doesn't hurt any of the other boys either.

Time and Wind are more of the middle ground. Time's bias would have to be learned by the time he's spent on the Ranch or while on the War of Eras. He's not fully convinced but he also doesn't really have the foundation to care.

Wind is similar. Like Sky, his world doesn't really have many people to point out the differences. Granted, he would know what a human is and what makes them different beyond their ears but there's just not enough history and prejudice that survived the floor that made the Great Sea.

[pixelatedraindrops]

Yuma Month: Day 25: Broken

Night terrors, burning body temperature, delirious hallucinations, and glassy faded vision…

Helpless and afraid, he calls out for his caretaker…but he’s not there…

He’s all alone now…with no one to help…

Completely broken.

[soaps-mohawk]

Which of the boys do you think can cook?? Do you think any of them have been like,, “banned” from cooking lmao??

I feel like I've answered this one before to, but once again, it also has disappeared into the void so I will answer again.

(I should really start keeping track of these things 😅)

Price and Gaz are definitely the best cooks.

Price has been a lot of places and learned a lot of things and probably knows how to make quite a few things. He also probably has to fend for himself quite a bit on missions so he's learned to feed himself and make it taste decent lol.

Gaz gives raised by women vibes, so of course he can cook. Maybe nothing super fancy, but he can follow a recipe and definitely knows how to make some things from scratch. Definitely enjoys it too.

Johnny I feel like knows a few recipes and can make those few really well. Struggles with new recipes and skills, but with time and patience he can figure it out. Plating skills are 10/10 though. Definitely has built a Dino nugget mashed potato volcano before.

Simon?

No.

[asherisawkward]

My reaction to the below post

Hello! Fan of Philip here. (I do NOT think he did nothing wrong. He did quite a bit wrong.)

I can’t help but notice that despite your claim of attempting to see things in an unbiased manner, you clearly have made no effort to step outside your favorite character’s side and look at things objectively.

So, I will list the facts:

Fact one: The Wittebane brothers were orphaned at a young age. This resulted in Caleb becoming entirely responsible for his little brother, who was dependent on him physically, financially, and emotionally. Especially when it is strongly implied that they had difficulties fitting in, as referenced by Masha, “They tried to fit in with this town, and its unsavory practices.”

Fact Two: Caleb participated in and even supported Philip with the witch hunting culture. Masha said, “They became witch hunters.” They, not he. Additionally, Caleb is seen in Hollow Mind making the mask that Philip uses when he plays “witch hunt” with his brother and interacts with the witch hunting community. There are also scenes of them witch hunting together.

Fact Three:Caleb met a witch named Evelyn and began to communicate with her. It’s never specifically stated how they met or when, but the memory painting below indicates that it was during a witch hunt. Take note of the pitchfork in Caleb’s hand.

Fact Four: Caleb and Evelyn kept their interactions regarding the Boiling Isles a secret, as noted by the rebus, Marsha’s statement of “They used a secret code to travel between worlds,” and the buried Titan Blood. They took great care to ensure that nobody would be able to find them out, including Philip.

Fact Five: Caleb is never mentioned detailing his change of heart and opinion to Philip, nor does he make any apparent interest in introducing the pair to each other until the scene depicted below, which is after years of Philip struggling to survive in the demon realm and thinking his brother was kidnapped. This leads Philip to having no reference for his brother’s growth and thinking that such an extreme change could only happen because of witchcraft.

Fact Six: Caleb and Evelyn had a constant method of transportation between the realms. This is supported by Masha’s previous statements, the buried vial of Titan’s Blood, the abundance of the aforementioned liquid and knowledge of how to get it, and the designated arch they used to travel between the realms.

Fact Seven: Caleb canonically abandoned Philip. This is not an opinion or a take, it is fact. One day, Caleb stopped coming back to the Human Realm and decided to live in the Boiling Isles with Evelyn. Not only did he ignore the fact that his brother was still clearly a child who seems to be closer to Gus’ age than any other members of the cast, but there is no proof that he even left a note behind to is brother or tried to take him along. Instead, Philip witnessed his brother seeming happy and free with a witch, something his entire society and even Caleb had taught him to hate, and he never comes back again.

Unless this portrait is just make believe?

If Caleb really didn’t intend to get stuck on the Boiling Isles, then why didn’t he try harder to get back to his brother? Philip has shown from his time on the Isles that it takes some dedication and knowledge of the dangers of Fool’s Blood, but it is entirely possible to get access to Titan’s Blood again. Caleb either was not nearly as motivated at getting back to his orphaned brother or he was not nearly as intelligent as we were led to believe through Hunter.

Fact Eight: Evelyn is in the late stages of her pregnancy when Philip finds them, implying Caleb was there for at minimum 8-9 months, which could play a factor in him not wanting to leave the isles and return to Philip. When Philip first arrives in the Isles, he is in his late teens or early twenties, as seen by his appearance below.

When Philip finally sees Caleb again for the first time, he has a beard and his face has matured to resemble his thirties. That is about ten years that Philip believed his brother to be kidnapped and brainwashed, if we believe both the math and Philip’s diary.

Credit to Teasnap on Duscord for fact eight.

Fact Nine: When Caleb and Philip finally do reunite, the former takes no consideration for Philip’s struggles to survive the Isles, the fact that he grew into adulthood with the same people reinforcing his biases as when he was a child, the terror and confusion he must have experienced at losing his only connection/parental figure, or any of the other trauma and issues that happened because of his choice. What does he do instead? He hugs Philip and introduces him to the woman he abandoned him for.

None of this is to say that Caleb is an inherently bad person or that he deserves to die in the manner he did, but he made some serious mistakes by choosing to leave his family behind for the Demon Realm, much in the same way that Luz does to Camila. What it does characterize him as is selfish and thoughtless.

I could go on a tangent about how with the way Philip was conditioned, he would have considered any kindness coming from a witch or demon to be a falsehood made to ensnare him and steal his soul, or I could do a lengthy analysis on how Philip desperately needs Evelyn to be evil or else the only person who ever mattered to him chose to willingly abandon him to a town that likely hates him. I could even do or link some explanations of the Boiling isles policies on magically weak or magicless beings are considered inferior and tormented (including Philip) (also note Hunter and Willow as victims of this).

The point is that Philip grew up in a place that taught him everything different, including himself (note his use of his left hand), was bad and needed to be destroyed. These assumptions were never challenged by anyone who could get through to him, and eventually he became a victim of the Sunk-Cost Fallacy.

Sunk-Cost Fallacy: the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial. (cited: Oxford dictionary).

Philip mutilated himself physically and corrupted his very being and humanity in order to save humanity and atone for his brother’s sin of loving a witch. It’s even implied that he doesn’t have any real plans for living beyond completing his goals, at the end of “Elsewhere and Elsewhen,” he says, “It doesn’t matter. I just need to live long enough to see this through.” None of this is indicators of someone who only wants to play the hero and be lauded with applause and praise.

All of this indicates that he is genuine and serious about his beliefs regarding witches, demons, and humanity. The change from a scared child to a horrific abuser planning genocide that is shown through the evidence I’ve detailed proves that Philip is anything but a one dimensional caricature of a villain, and that to say such is an insult to all the hard work that was put into making him.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

I often see people over in the clock app painting NHS as outdoing JGY in his scheming and tbh I get where they're coming from but I think that's just dubious at best because JGY and NHS are very different characters. Bear with me.

I don't think either classify as schemers per se— NHS's plan could have been derailed by so many things that had a very fair chance of happening and that's not scheming imo. At least not decent scheming. NHS is a smart resentful guy with means and patience who happened to get lucky.

JGY on the other hand, unless I'm forgetting something, we never see him actually playing the long game, do we? Save for sunshot. He takes measures to protect himself against getting his crimes discovered but that's basic self preservation rather than long term thinking.

JGY works with his current circumstances because he has too or he'll die, while NHS has the means, the safety, and the time to play the long game.

NHS has the luck that nothing on his plans derailed, while JGY does not, and that kind of highlights their respective social positions, JGY as a hard working man who gets the short end of the stick every time and NHS as headshaker who gets to do whatever he feels like doing because he's gentry. Also NHS being given more grace than JGY

TLDR NHS and JGY are very complex and very different in the ways they operate (noth of which reflect their lives and experiences) and reducing All That to "schemer 2 outdos schemer 1" is both reductive and a disservice to both their characters

[sergle]

Do you think "biscuits" could be the british cookies? would kneading that make sense?

still no dice!! british biscuits are more shortbread-cookie adjacent, which are similar to american biscuits in the sense that you don't want them to be chewy (so you don't want to knead it), and you don't want the butter to melt before you bake them (so you don't want to over-handle it)

[sciderman]

hi, sci!

not to sound spoiled because we just got the spideycablepool fic (and it was everything i needed and MORE) but do you plan on writing another threesome fic with a different third? just wondering

love you btw *blows you a kiss*

"a different third", ohoho, whoever could that be, i wonder...

maybe. maybe.

maaaaybe...

[necrotic-nephilim]

Hello! New to comics and I don't really feel like the New-52 comics are for me and would really like to read and understand Pre-flashpoint and all the dark and good stuff there. Is there an order or starting point you would recommend? Thanks for your time, and I hope you have a great day!

hi! i'm so glad you want to get into comics! i'd love to help with some recs! since you're here, i'm going to assume you're a Batfamily fan and most of my recs will cater to that, but i will try to encompass a bit of everything to help you just understand some big moments and all this mess that is DC canon. adding a cut bc jesus this got long.

so your starting point for pre-Flashpoint is going to be Crisis on Infinite Earths. the TLDR of this event is: DC had a big multiverse in the 70s and early 80s that wasn't friendly to new readers. to try to push their titles more and become a proper competitor to Marvel, they created an in-universe storyline that nuked the multiverse and gave a solid entry point for new fans going forward. this is why you hear terms like Pre-Crisis and Post-Crisis. it refers to the comics canon before and after this event, in 1985. some characters had some big changes (for example: pre-Crisis Jason Todd was a circus kid whose parents were killed by Killer Croc) but most remained largely the same, just simplified. you don't *have* to start with Crisis on Infinite Earths if you don't want to. it's a *good* storyline, but it's a big one and a lot of big multiverse-scale stuff happens. so as long as you understand it as "big event that nuked DC's multiverse and gave the world a clean slate in 1985", then you've basically got the gist. also Barry Allen dies during it, but he comes back so don't worry about it.

in general, if DC has some big timeline/canon-altering event, they're going to call it a Crisis Event. the only Crisis Events that will matter to you, trying to get into pre-Flashpoint are

Crisis On Infinite Earths - the above, starts the Post-Crisis/pre-Flashpoint timeline

Zero Hour: Crisis In Time - an event in the 90s that sought to fix some of the kinks that the above Crisis caused, like fixing the origins of the Legion of Superheroes and other Golden/Silver Age characters, not *super* important tbh

Infinite Crisis - this was a big event that brought back some characters who got nuked by Crisis on Infinite Earths, unfucked Power Girl's backstory, and set the groundwork to bring back the multiverse. if you've heard "Superboy Prime punched a hole in reality and it brought back Jason Todd" yeah, this is the story where it happened

Final Crisis - a big event that was partly meta commentary but heroes fought Darkseid, Batman died for a hot second, it was all a big deal about evil winning and all that

Flashpoint - the event that nuked this timeline, a big storyline to do with Flash and the timeline that would result in the New-52 in 2011

are you confused yet? good embrace the confusion it's going to become second nature of a comic fan. you don't need to read these events as a beginner. you really don't i promise. they'll sound big and important, but besides Crisis On Infinite Earths and Flashpoint, the start and end of this era, the rest you can just kind of breeze by so long as you understand the big plot points like Batman dying or Superboy Prime punching reality. unless you really care about a character central to these stories, skip 'em for now.

now for any character, if they have a Year One comic? that is a very safe bet as a place to start. it is what it sounds like. Batman: Year One is going to be Bruce's first year as Batman. same as Green Arrow: Year One, Batgirl: Year One, etc. when in doubt, if there's a Year One, start with Year One. (note: for Superman, his "year one" type story is called Superman: Birthright and it is worth reading if you like Superman)

for Batman, i am holding you by the shoulders when i say this: people will tell you to read The Killing Joke. they're liars. do not listen to them. it's a bad story. you don't need it. do not let the Joker fanboys lie to you. people will also say Dark Knight Returns. don't listen to *them* either. i *like* DKR, i talk about it a lot here. it's not a good intro to Batman. it's an AU story, it's not canon, ignore it for now.

now where you *should* start with Batman, imo, is as followed

Batman: Year One - as said above, Year Ones are good, this is solid to start with

Batman: The Long Halloween - this is an iconic story and it's a followup to year One

Batman: Dark Legacy - the followup to Long Halloween, also a very good story

Batman: Hush - this story is a solid starter if you want to understand the general vibe of Gotham, the typical characters you see in the Batfamily, and a good Batman villain

once you've got the basics down, you *can* get into the big boy storylines like Batman: Knightfall and Batman: No Man's Land, but don't worry about those right now. they're long and complicated and shouldn't really be your starting point no matter how good they are.

other very good pre-Flashpoint comics that are easy to pick up and iconic storylines

Death of Superman - this is a long arc in the Superman run that if you collect in trades, goes Death of Superman, Funeral For A Friend, Reign of the Supermen, Return of Superman, Doomsday. it's long, but a very iconic storyline

Wonder Woman by George Perez - this the run that helped define modern Wonder Woman within the pre-Flashpoint era

JLA: Year One - if you want a good Justice League story where you get characters besides Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman taking the shine, this is a great place to start

Green Arrow by Mike Grell - start with Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters and then go into Green Arrow (1988). this has the darker, very 80s vibes that gets a bit gritty and very realistic with the issues it faces bc Green Arrow comics tend to be more rooted

The New Teen Titans by Marv Wolfman - this technically starts before pre-Flashpoint, don't worry about it it's fine. a good run for all of these characters, can get a little confusing, it is okay to be confused do not be afraid to google shit

so, some big stories out of the way i'm just. honestly going to run down the line of the major pre-Flashpoint Batfamily members and give you comic recs for them that you can start with. (besides Bruce obviously, bc well. see above)

Dick Grayson

NIghtwing: Year One

Robin: Year One

Nightwing (1995)

Tim Drake

Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying

Robin (1990)

Robin II: Joker's Wild

Robin III: Cry of the Huntress

Robin (1993)

Barbara Gordon

Batgirl: Year One

Birds of Prey (1999)

Jason Todd

Batman: The Cult (as Robin)

Batman: Death in the Family (as Robin)

Batman: Under The Red Hood

Red Hood: Lost Days

Cassandra Cain

Batgirl (2000)

Batman: No Man's Land

Jean-Paul Valley

Batman: Sword of Azrael

Batman: Knightfall

Stephanie Brown

Huntress/Spoiler: Blunt Trauma

Batgirl (2009)

Selina Kyle

Catwoman by Ed Brubaker

Helena Bertinelli

Batman/Huntress: Cry For Blood

Huntress: Year One

Birds of Prey: Manhunt

Damian Wayne

Batman & Robin (2009)

there are other very important pre-Flashpoint stories for all of these characters, but these are starting points more than anything. figure out what characters you're interested and go from there. understanding the universe at large helps, do not get me wrong. but at the end of the day, comics are a choose your own adventure of who you want to give a shit about. you're *never* going to read everything "important" and you're probably not going to understand everything. that's okay. don't treat it like a media you need to "complete" like a tv show or a movie, but more like an open world game where you decide what characters/teams/stories you like the most.

pre-Flashpoint covers a lot of ground. some stuff will be darker and grittier, some stuff will be more light-hearted. it will all be about what titles you pick up and what characters you decide you want to read about. you're obviously going to get a much more grounded storyline out of Green Arrow than you are say, a JLA comic. i prefer the more grounded, "street level" sorts of characters. (if you like gritty detective stories, i will be biased and highly recommend the Question (1987) just because. i love him okay.) but you might find you like sometimes more worldly and big scale. at the end of the day: don't force yourself to love a comic you're not enjoying, even if you like that character. you can put that shit down. sometimes, "important stories" are by shitty writers that you won't enjoy reading and you shouldn't make this hobby a chore. i don't care how "critically acclaimed" it is, you don't have to like it if it doesn't click for you. and on the flipside, a comic might be considered "bad" but you may enjoy it (a personal example: Robin III: Cry of the Huntress is considered a very weak comic. don't care. i love it anyway.) accept the cringe, have fun, and enjoy yourself at the end of the day. none of it will make sense anyway so just read what sounds cool to you.

this was all over the place and rambly, but i hope it helps at least a little! welcome to comics anon! if you or anyone else would like more character-specific recs, feel free to ask! if i don't know, i can at the very least hopefully point you in the right direction <3

[zivazivc]

Is Les the kinda guy who would show concern for a friend's well-being even if said friend injured him in a drug-induced or alcohol-induced frenzy while he was trying to restrain them to prevent them from seriously hurting someone (and that friend otherwise isn't a violent person)?

This is such a specific question, and I'd still need to know so much more to guess how he'd really react... like how injured, is he under the influence too, what was the argument about, what genre is the friend and the other troll (or like what is their size because I have a hard time imagining Les being unable to restrain a non funk troll), and does the friend get hurt too, like there's so many factors that play a role...

but generally, yes, he would be worried for his friend, but i doubt he'd directly show it because he'd also be pissed at them. though he'd be pissed more because the guy is being difficult to restrain and being and asshole than because Les would be hurt. (we are talking about a close friend here right? cuz if it's just an acquaintance I doubt he'd even intervene. he doesn't get in other trolls' business) This guy grew up around a lot of physical abuse; he has very high pain tolerance and little care for his own wellbeing. He's even been in a number of fights/got jumped a few times in the past, and isn't new to dealing with injuries... :/

[tswwwit]

i’m sooo curious on bill meeting dipper’s parents. i think i remember you mentioning at one point they kinda sucked and treated dip especially bad. i’m sure that’s caused a lot of his long term mental health/self esteem issues and i can’t help but think his husband wouldn’t be too thrilled about that. also they don’t even know he’s married so that’s a whole other thing lol

In the Familiar AU, Dipper's parents shipped him and Mabel off to Grunkle Stan back when they were twelve, actually!

This was initially excused as the twins 'needing to get used to having magic'. Which makes sense! Magical puberty is a heck of a thing, and getting some training's useful to cut down on random magic surges.

But by the end of the summer, they hadn't made any plans for picking the kids up. This when Stan twigged to the real situation.

And by the end of that year, Dipper knew his 'paranoid' assumption was absolutely correct.

So the twins grew up in Gravity Falls, with only very occasional visits back 'home'. Contact's been sporadic, and Mabel's been the one who's clung more to their parent's attention. Dipper hasn't spoken to them unless forced to in years.

So yeah! Bill's not exactly thrilled with the parents - but lucky for them, they haven't met him yet! And they definitely don't know about the marriage. Much less anything else.