#fun fact I don’t like looking at this without the added mess of the old sketch behind it 😭 I will never move on to cleaning this up for good
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the xu minghao dilemma
❝ i was having more fun talking about how objectively and subjectively good i look. ❞
PAIRING ▸ xu minghao x fem!reader
GENRES ▸ fluff, humor, suggestive, coffee shop au, college au, childhood friends to lovers au
WARNINGS ▸ profanity, slow burn, weed consumption, tooth-rotting fluff, lowkey jeongcheol and verkwan if you squint, everyone being whipped for minghao, a somewhat heated makeout scene, friend group antics as per usual, minghao being the living embodiment of a green flag, ft. yooyeon from triples
SUMMARY ▸ like most film students, you find yourself experiencing the worst creative block of your life when you're tasked to film a documentary for your final project. enter: your old childhood best friend turned stranger, xu minghao—an (incredibly handsome) ex-dancer and barista who just might be the spark of inspiration you need to make the best film of your academic career. on the flip side, minghao needs this film to win him the scholarship that lets him dance again. despite all, your circumstances don't stop your old, repressed feelings for minghao from resurfacing.
PLAYLIST ▸ insomnia by zerobaseone • kidult by seventeen • meme by &team • heart surf by kep1er • glue song by beabadoobee
WORD COUNT ▸ 20,606 words
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ this is for user junyangis my favorite bot
“THE TIGER: ICONIC SYMBOL OF THE WILD, AND AN APEX PREDATOR THAT WE FEAR AND ADMIRE.”
You panned your camera to focus on Yoon Jeonghan, who was currently sifting through the mess of papers and notebooks across his desk. All of the drawers were turned out with their contents scattered across the carpet. His frantic search for his missing vape had been going on for the past twenty minutes, and you were certain this was his fifth time going through his belongings again.
Normal people, such as yourself, would’ve given up within the first five minutes, but your best friend’s resilience was admirable. His unwavering persistence was exactly the sort of character you wanted to showcase in your films. Without the context of the vape addiction, of course.
“And here,” you continued in the best David Attenborough impression you could conjure up, “we see a tiger in the wild.”
“Go to hell, dude,” Jeonghan snapped back. You squinted at him through your viewfinder to catch him carding a frustrated hand through his hair. “My Circadian rhythm needs flavored air to function.”
The tiny red light flickered once, then vanished as you stopped recording. “Try regular air. It’s good for you—and free.”
“Yeah? Then maybe this is my calling to get sober.”
(It was important to note that Jeonghan tended to say this very frequently.)
He finally rose from the corner of his dorm room where he had strewn the contents of his drawer all over the floor. Jeonghan crossed over to where you were sitting—on his bed, leaning against the wall with his Doraemon pillow—and plopped down beside you. His eyes, glazed-over and half-lidded, were fixed on the ceiling, as if he was going over each groove in the drywall.
For the past two hours, you had been agonizing over ideas for your documentary. Jeonghan was typically great when it came to bouncing ideas off each other, so you often pestered him until inspiration struck. Today didn’t seem like a particularly stimulating day for either of you, though. Your best friend paid attention for maybe half an hour, but even he started running out of ideas for potential documentary content.
“By the way,” he added, still stuck in a faraway trance, “do not use whatever you just recorded for your film project. I don’t consent to being exploited for views.”
It had been weeks since you came to terms with the fact that Jeonghan didn’t want to be the subject of your documentary. You had a semester to complete this project for your documentary class, and although you still had a decent amount of time left, you were starting to get worried because most of your classmates already started outlining their ideas. You hadn’t even found your main character yet.
There were quite a few reasons why you wouldn’t have chosen Jeonghan in the first place; it didn’t just chalk down to his disinterest in being filmed. You wanted to capture someone with a story—a progression or growth that tugged at the heartstrings of your audience—and using someone you weren’t already close with would help you film more objectively.
You raised a brow at your friend. “You? I was clearly filming a wild animal in its natural habitat.”
“Recording without two-party consent is tasteless,” he reminded. “And just for that, I’m not telling you the incredible, brilliant idea I just had.”
“You haven’t exactly shared that many incredible, brilliant ideas for me to feel disappointed about that.”
“No, trust me. It’s really good.” He used his elbows to prop himself up, shooting you a wide grin. His resolve to withhold his proposition crumbled within seconds of his excitement. “It’s the best idea I’ve had since that one time I stole Seungcheol’s towel and t-shirt while he was showering.”
You glanced at him through the corner of your eyes. “All you did was make him walk around shirtless.”
“Exactly.” Jeonghan returned your look with far more judgment than you had given him. “That was the best part.”
The memory was hard to forget. During your freshman year, you were living in the dorms where your RA was Choi Seungcheol. It was safe to say that a solid majority of the people on your floor had eyes for the dreamy Resident Advisor. Jeonghan only contributed to the noble cause of fan service by ensuring that Seungcheol would end up having to walk through the hallway with his glorious abs on display, his chiseled body beaded with water droplets.
“So what’s your idea? Ask Seungcheol if I can film a strip tease?”
“No, it’s—wait, that’s so good. If we can get that greenlit, you should totally—”
“Nope, definitely not doing that,” you interjected with a firm shake of your head. You were not going to present a half-naked Seungcheol as your final project. “Give me something more PG-13.”
“Boring, but fine.” After mocking a pout, Jeonghan’s lips immediately curled up in a smirk. “Xu Minghao.”
The very mention of his name made you straighten up. You hadn’t spoken to Minghao in years, and although your friends would tease you about being his childhood friend, you didn’t see your past with him as anything worth mentioning. After all, being close friends during middle school was nothing compared to the plethora of memories you made after the two of you grew distant.
“Huh?”
“Xu Minghao,” he repeated. “Streets are saying he’s quit dancing.”
You frowned. “Minghao quit dancing?”
That couldn’t be right. Minghao? The same Xu Minghao who snuck out of his house to practice for hours in dance studios? The same one who took eight trains, walked fifteen miles, and hitchhiked to get to dance camp on his own? The same one who shed tears when he won his first dance competition?
Dance was Minghao’s life; it came as naturally as breathing to him. You so clearly remembered his overwhelming passion that drove him to practice tirelessly for years. Just watching him move to the beat made you feel like he was born to express himself that way. You couldn’t imagine your childhood friend, who had been dancing his entire life, to just throw away all his hard work and talent on a whim.
“Streets also mentioned he hurt his foot real bad. Poor guy can’t compete at nationals anymore.”
“Streets?”
“I’m protecting anonymity, okay?” After you peered at him for a moment, Jeonghan caved under the pressure of your stare and added, “Fine. It was Seungkwan.”
You scoffed. All credibility of the rumor vanished like a wisp of smoke.
“Seungkwan also claimed Vernon needed to go to the emergency room when he got a paper cut,” you replied, unimpressed.
“No, I think it really is serious this time. You can check it out for yourself, if you want,” Jeonghan said. “He’s working at the café like, every day now.”
“His mom’s café?”
“Mmhm. He stopped for a while ‘cause of school, but he just picked up his shifts again.”
“And you think that’s what I should do for my documentary? Minghao quitting the one thing that could be worth filming?”
“I don’t think he actually wanted to quit,” Jeonghan said, looking down at his intertwined hands in his lap with a puzzled expression, as if the Xu Minghao Dilemma™ had been keeping him up at night. “I don’t know what it is. Seungkwan said he seemed kind of off when he was talking about it.”
You were quiet for a moment, and Jeonghan continued, “You also find it weird, don’t you? It doesn’t make sense that he’d just quit like that.”
“I mean, if something’s really going on with him, then I don’t think it’s right for me to ask if I can turn that into a documentary,” you said.
“I’m not saying that, but…” He trailed off before shrugging. “I just think it wouldn’t hurt to check in on him.”
You arched a brow at him. “Why don’t you check in on him? Aren’t you two friends?”
“We’re bros,” he corrected. Cue a dramatic groan from you, which was promptly ignored as Jeonghan elaborated, “our way of showing that we’re there for each other is by queueing up on League together or talking about the Roman Empire.”
“Jeonghan, you have never once mentioned the Roman Empire.”
“Jokes on you, I did a research project on it in middle school.” He shut his eyes to wave off the tangent he started going off on. “Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that you’re a girl—a woman. Women get to the point. They get things done.” He gave you a resolute nod, and you were starting to wonder if he was simply trying to use flattery against you. “Hence why I think you can figure out what’s going on with Minghao.”
You sighed. “But Minghao and I haven’t even spoken in so long. I don’t want to overstep.”
“Look, I’ve texted Hao—even met up with him in person—but the guy won’t budge. He just gives me that customer service smile of his and says he’s fine.”
“And what makes you think I’ll be able to do anything?”
“I’m not saying you will, but I think he’ll turn around when he realizes more people are concerned about him.”
On one hand, you didn’t exactly have any sort of relationship with Xu Minghao that gave you a reason to visit him. Did he even remember your name? You could only imagine the confusion drawing his brows together upon seeing you after years of silence. Or perhaps he wouldn’t care at all. The two of you could probably pass by each other as complete strangers, and he wouldn’t experience the same flicker of old memories that made your heart ache.
On the other hand, you truly were curious. And it wouldn’t hurt to visit the old café, either.
Plus, you would never admit it out loud, but part of you had been waiting for an excuse to talk to your old friend again.
You felt utterly stupid as you stood at the entrance of the café.
First, your heart was beating unbelievably fast for something that shouldn’t have been this difficult of a feat. It was a coffee shop, for crying out loud. All you had to do was walk inside and order something without making a fool out of yourself. Couldn’t be that hard, right?
Second, it was hard to pretend like you were only here for coffee when your only intention was to check up on Minghao. Now you were wondering if you should’ve texted him first, but that probably would’ve taken you a few days to work up the courage to send.
And the cherry on top of your miserable cake was that you didn’t even like coffee. Maybe you could get something to eat, but you weren’t big on pastries, either. You just had to force yourself to get whatever seemed the most appetizing and hope that Minghao took notice of you.
That was another thing; you didn’t even know what hours he worked. Your plan was to work in the corner of the café until you saw him coming in. Knowing your luck, he probably didn’t even have a shift scheduled for today. Still, you were determined to wait it out since you had come this far already.
With a shaky breath, you pushed open the door and were immediately greeted by a rush of warmth. You instinctively tugged your cardigan tighter around your frame as you scanned the space. It had been years since you stepped into the café, but everything was about the same; almost all the tables were occupied with teenagers or lone adults who came to get work done, the back wall had a space reserved for people to leave cute notes and drawings, and a familiar barista was eyeing you from the get-go.
There he was, watching you from the counter. Clusters of stars encased in two midnight pools.
Xu Minghao, who you skillfully managed to avoid interacting with for the past six years, was looking at you with the same familiarity that stirred in your chest.
Your first reaction was to flee, but you would’ve looked ridiculous running out of the shop, so you walked to the nearest empty table first. Did people look for tables before they even ordered? You were starting to forget how to normally function as you set your bag down on the smooth oak wood.
“Sample?” a gentle voice called from behind you as you were fumbling with getting your laptop out of your bag. You looked over your shoulder to see Minghao with a tray of bite-sized slices of cheesecake with toothpicks sticking out of the top. A warm smile graced his features, so dazzling to the point where it was blinding. “It’s one of our signature desserts here.”
“Oh,” was all you could say at first, disoriented as you picked up one of the cheesecake bites. “Thanks.”
“I’ll be at the front whenever you’re ready to order.”
He left before you could get another word out, and you shoved the cube of cheesecake in your mouth so that you didn’t look completely frozen (which you were). Minghao probably went around giving samples to every customer, but surely he recognized you, right? It wasn’t like the two of you were completely oblivious to each other’s existence. Minghao had to know you two had mutual friends from the Instagram stories and posts you were featured in.
Moreover, his leg seemed fine. Boo Seungkwan had once again proven to be an untrustworthy source.
You worked up the courage to walk to the register after going over the menu about twenty times, finally deciding on getting a mango fruit tea. As soon as you were in front of Minghao, though, your predetermined order disappeared from your head and the menu looked like a blur of words.
Your mind went completely blank.
“Uh…” You were floundering for something to say—anything. Coffee was the only drink coming to mind, but you weren’t sure the caffeine would be good for your nerves. “I'll have, uh…”
This was so stupid. You waited for minutes on end to decide on your order and ended up looking like a complete fool in front of Minghao.
“Would you like a recommendation?” he offered smoothly, as if this was a routine response for him. You wondered how many other customers lost their train of thought upon seeing his face.
“Yes, please.”
“I know it's chilly outside, but our fruit teas are pretty popular. And, if I remember correctly, you've always been a fan of mango,” he said. You swore he was trying to avert his gaze now, although he had been maintaining proper eye contact up until this moment. “Injeolmi toast is a favorite here, too. I know you like injeolmi, unless your tastes have changed…”
Wow. Maybe you were off the mark all along. Minghao clearly hadn't forgotten you; in fact, he remembered more of you than you could even recall yourself.
“Mango fruit tea—that’s right. That’s what I wanted to order.” You let out an awkward laugh, brushing your hair over your shoulder to distract yourself from how hot your chest felt. “Then I’ll order both. I’ve never had injeolmi toast, but I do still like injeolmi.”
His face broke into a bright smile—the kind that made his eyes crinkle at the corners.
“Oh, good. I was worried I didn't remember correctly,” he admitted sheepishly. After entering your order into the tablet, he turned the screen around for you to pay. You were so focused on tipping that Minghao startled you when he asked, “How’ve you been?”
When you looked up, his gaze was sincere. A torrent of warmth rushed through your body.
“Good. I mean—college, you know?” Everything you wanted to say sounded garbled in your head. You didn’t even know where to begin. “I barely have any free time these days outside of assignments and working on sets.”
“Oh, right. You’re in film, huh? How’s that been for you?”
“It’s been good so far. I’m actually getting ready to film a documentary right now.”
He looked up at you with wide eyes, gleaming with genuine interest. Since Minghao had been no more than a stranger to you these past several years, you hadn’t expected to see such sincerity in his enthusiasm.
Your heart must have skipped a beat or two.
“A documentary? About what?” But then his attention was lost, his eyes unfocusing to glance at the customer waiting impatiently behind you. You immediately felt guilty for taking up so much time, but then Minghao said, “I get off in an hour. Are you still gonna be around?”
“Yeah, I will.”
“Great. Save a chair for me.” He flashed one of his shining, award-winning smiles again. “Your order will be out in a few minutes, Y/N.”
The injeolmi toast was cold.
It tasted good enough for you to not mind, but when you saw someone else carrying a tray of the steaming bread, you figured that Minghao simply forgot to heat yours up. You were disheartened that you were doomed to eat cold, chewy injeolmi, but the sweet and nutty flavor was so delectable that you ended up scarfing it down within minutes anyway. The café seemed rather busy around this time, so you didn’t put it past Minghao to rush your order.
The mango fruit tea was incredible, though. By far the best fruit tea you’ve had. It was compelling enough for you to download Yelp to leave a glowing five-star review.
When you opened Café du Soleil’s page, you noticed that your dear friend Seungkwan (credentials: Yelp Elite Squad) had already left a review mentioning the same drink.
★★★★★ Nov 7, 2024 Incredible customer service. I love Xu Minghao. The mango fruit tea changed my life for the better.
You left a review about the mango fruit tea and injeolmi toast (conveniently leaving out the fact that yours wasn’t warmed up). A much more comprehensive review than Seungkwan’s, you would say.
Your nerves were still buzzing from your conversation with Minghao. It had been years since you two had spoken to each other, and now you were waiting for him to get off his shift to catch up with you. If you maintained a friendship with him all these years, then maybe all of this would feel natural. Maybe this would’ve been your designated table to wait for Minghao after his shift, spending time with him after work and walking home together.
An hour passed by faster than you thought it would. The first ten minutes felt agonizing, watching the minutes tick by painfully slow, but once you were consumed in a discussion post for your Narrative Production class, Minghao was making his way over to you before you knew it.
“Hey, stranger,” he greeted, pulling out the chair across from you to sit down in. Your eyes followed the slice of cheesecake he brought over on a plate before he nodded toward the empty plate on your tray. “What’d you think of the toast?”
“Really good,” you gushed. You opted to leave out the part where your bread was cold. “I was almost about to go up to order again.”
“Ah, right.” He pushed the plate in your direction. “This is for you.”
“Oh,” you answered, startled. “How much was it? I can pay—”
“No, don’t worry. It’s on me,” Minghao cut in smoothly, signaling his objection with a wave of his hand. “I forgot to ask you if you liked the sample earlier, but I ended up bringing it over anyway.”
Just as you remembered, he was always thinking about others first. Minghao was so earnest in his words and actions that it was hard for you to grasp that he was real. Even in his adolescence, you remembered he had a different air of maturity from the other boys just because of how kind he was. You wanted to pick him apart and dissect his brain to figure out if he was just biologically wired to be perfect.
He was so different now—not completely different but just enough to set you on edge. Minghao had grown into his features so beautifully and still spoke in that calm and soft voice, but there was this newfound confidence he carried that seemed almost unshakeable.
With the way he was staring at you so intently, you felt pressured to give your opinion on the cheesecake right away. You forked a sliver of the cake into your mouth, hand hovering over your mouth as you chewed. Mostly because you were trying to swallow as fast as possible so that Minghao would stop being so laser-focused on you.
“It’s good,” you mused. “I should come by more often.”
He perked up at your words, and soon Minghao was enthusiastically asking you to give him a recap on everything that was going on in your life. You hardly knew where to begin—or, rather, where to pick up after the two of you stopped being close.
You told him about how your parents disapproved of your film major, how it took months of convincing and begging until they realized that you were serious about your passion for filmmaking. He listened intently as you talked about all the short films you made on your own to persuade your parents, and he even watched one of them on your phone, giving you nods of acknowledgement and an impressed hum.
The conversation bled into different aspects of your life, and Minghao was able to join in while you two talked about how you met your mutual friends. You explained how you met Jeonghan and Wonwoo at a party, somehow hitting it off so well that you two ended up hanging out the morning after. Minghao met Jeonghan when they were placed in the same orientation group, and you thought about how funny it was that the world was small enough for you two to have grown apart and still ended up with mutual friends.
It was getting dark outside by the time Minghao was giving you the rundown of how he met Seungkwan, detailing the encounter in a way that made Seungkwan seem a little insane. Apparently, Minghao had gotten Seungkwan’s number at a dance workshop and the younger boy spammed him with texts one night until Minghao agreed to hang out. Thankfully, Minghao found Seungkwan’s persistence to be charming. A stark contrast from how you went home early during your first time hanging out with Seungkwan because you were so overstimulated.
When Minghao started talking about going to a dance workshop with Jeonghan, you realized this was your opening.
“Oh, yeah,” you said, feigning a casual tone, “Jeonghan mentioned that you were quitting dance?”
A sad smile dawned on his face. “At least until I finish college. I just needed to take some time off to focus on school.”
“That makes sense, I guess. But weren’t you supposed to have a competition at the end of the year?”
“Nationals,” he clarified. “I’ve been pushing back my withdrawal, but I’m gonna have to do it soon.”
You noticed his gloomy expression, and it was making you remember Jeonghan’s words about how Minghao probably didn’t actually want to quit. If he really wanted to drop out of the competition, then you were certain the corners of his mouth wouldn’t be tugging down, nor would the light in his eyes dim.
The Minghao you once knew was honest about his feelings. He unapologetically wore his emotions on his sleeve, and he prepared himself for every possible outcome so that he could keep a strong front. You always admired how he was able to stay so calm and collected as the world weighed on his shoulders.
Now, the Minghao before you looked like a kettle sputtering water from its spout, a whistle away from overflowing completely.
It was a bold question for someone you weren’t close with anymore, but you asked, “You don’t want to withdraw, right?”
With his mouth set in a grim line, Minghao shook his head. “If it was up to me, I’d still be dancing.”
“Then why aren’t you?”
“It’s just… complicated,” he said. “Our café’s been doing decently, but it’s not enough for it to stay up and running. We were barely keeping up with rent and now they’ve upped the prices, but…” He moved his leg from under the table so that it was stretched out to the side. “I tore my meniscus around four months ago. It’s a lot better now—still sore sometimes—but we had to pay for physical therapy on top of everything. I’ve had to pick up shifts here because we’re so understaffed now, so there isn’t really enough time for me to focus on dancing.”
“If we had enough money to cushion our rent for the next three months, I think this place would be saved,” he continued, “but if I’m gonna make that happen, I have to dedicate all my time here.”
Oh. You sent Boo Seungkwan a mental apology for ever doubting him about Minghao’s injury. Perhaps he wasn’t as unreliable of a source as you assumed he would be.
You knew that the situation must have been serious for him to quit dancing, but you didn’t expect the café to be at stake. Of course, you had zero knowledge on what it took to be a dancer at a national level, but you just couldn’t wrap your head around Minghao giving up this easily.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. It’s my decision.”
You asked, “Are you okay with that, though? Not dancing?”
“It is what it is.” He shrugged. “Our studio’s tuition on top of competition fees, private lesson fees, and workshop fees… it’s just not feasible for me to be able to keep doing this right now. Of course I could just practice on my own in the studio, but we just don’t have enough people to cover every shift here.”
You nodded along. He really sounded as defeated as his explanation made you feel, and you realized you were going to have to recount this to Jeonghan to get him to give up. This situation was far too nuanced for either of you to push Minghao to keep dancing out of pure passion. Sometimes that just wasn’t enough.
Minghao eventually had to go to close up the shop, and you had to turn down his insistent offers to give you more food until he basically shoved a bunch of pastries into your arms before you left. As you walked back to your apartment, braving the icy bite of the wind, one thing was for certain: you were most definitely not making a documentary out of Xu Minghao’s tragic story.
“I’m running a survey,” you declared, “because this is a democracy and I value all of your opinions.”
You had called for an emergency meeting the day after you met up with Minghao. Your friends were all sitting haphazardly around your room; Seungkwan had his legs up against the wall and his body sprawled across your bed, Jeonghan was right next to Seungkwan, Junhui was sitting on top of your laundry basket despite being scolded about crushing it, Vernon was on top of your desk, and Wonwoo was the only one sensible enough to be sitting in a proper chair.
Jeonghan scoffed. “She just doesn’t want to do the Minghao documentary.”
“There is no Minghao documentary,” you said. “There was never a Minghao documentary.”
“There was”—Jeonghan paused for long enough for the rest of them to think he had finished talking—“to me.”
Junhui leaned forward, nearly toppling over the laundry basket. Vernon was able to hold it down with his foot in time, although Junhui hardly even noticed his friend’s silent efforts to save him.
“What’s the Minghao documentary?” he asked, his eyes bigger than ever. “Like, Xu Minghao?”
“Yes,” Jeonghan answered. “Wouldn't you watch a Xu Minghao documentary?”
“I’d pay to watch a Xu Minghao documentary,” Junhui said, reaching over to high-five Jeonghan, who was extremely pleased that someone else supported his cause. “What can I say? He's a beautiful man.”
“Okay, there is no Xu Minghao documentary,” you repeated. “It's more of a… Xu Minghao dilemma.”
“So you called us here because of Xu Minghao,” Vernon chimed in.
“No,” you replied pointedly, “I called you here because I really value your guys’ opinions and want to hear your suggestions about what I should include in my documentary.”
“Xu Minghao,” Jeonghan supplied.
“Except for Jeonghan. I don’t value his opinion.”
“I think someone should die,” said Junhui with bright, sparkling eyes. “Something super tragic.”
“Or we can all live,” Seungkwan said.
Vernon offered, “Or how about something more sentimental—”
“—where everyone dies,” finished Junhui.
“Okay, that wasn't what I was getting at,” Vernon said with mild concern crossing his features. “You scare me.”
Seungkwan, distressed at this point, spoke up louder to rehash, “Why don’t we all just live?”
You let out a resigned sigh. “Jun, let’s keep in mind that I’m filming a documentary for a college film class, not a Marvel movie.”
This was going nowhere. Clearly, you misjudged when you decided your friends were the people to go to for serious inquiries. At this point, you were considering following up on the email you sent to the local ice skating rink a month ago, outright begging them for the chance to film their team practicing. (Spoiler: They ghosted you.)
“How about the geology department?” Wonwoo suggested, resting his elbows on his knees. “We’re researching crustal processes during the Hadean geological period right now. Exciting stuff.”
Because Jeon Wonwoo was an incredibly persuasive man (mostly because of his lethal attractiveness), you were immediately swayed by the idea. “Wait, that’s an incredible idea, Wonwoo.”
“That is the worst idea I’ve heard in my life,” Seungkwan blurted out. “If you make a documentary about the geology department, I will personally come to the screening of your film myself just to throw tomatoes at you.”
As much as you hated to admit it (or, rather, hated to admit it in the presence of Wonwoo), Seungkwan had a fair point. Presenting a documentary about crustal formations was probably categorized as a form of social suicide. You had no true interest in the topic to make it sound interesting, and the only selling point would be geology major Jeon Wonwoo and his face of the century. The lackluster content coupled with your indifference toward rocks was a disaster waiting to happen.
Maybe you could make geology sound interesting. You entertained the idea for a few seconds before recollecting the time when Wonwoo got four shots deep and started rattling off about the demand for lithium in China. Your freshman year self was almost charmed before those beguiling minutes stretched into long, torturous hours of Wonwoo breaking down geopolitics until you blacked out.
No, you could not make geology sound interesting.
“Thank you for that visual, Seungkwan,” you said. “Now that I’ve returned to my senses, I’ll accept ideas that aren’t about Xu Minghao or rocks.”
“What’s wrong with the geology department?” Wonwoo spoke up, his hand shooting up in the air to get the room’s attention.
Jeonghan snorted. “Dude, what’s she gonna film? Planet Earth?”
Wonwoo accepted his defeat wordlessly as his arm slowly retreated back to his side.
“Not that I don’t think you can come up with better ideas,” Vernon started carefully, “but why are you so against making a documentary about Minghao?”
“I’m not against it,” you clarified. “It’s simply out of the question. He doesn’t even have time to dance right now because of how busy he is with the café.”
“If that’s the issue, I can literally ask around to see who’s interested in working there,” Jeonghan said.
“Minghao’s going through a lot right now. I personally think it’s insensitive to push him to do something when he’s got so much on his plate.”
The men finally quieted down at your words, and you came to the realization that your girl friends would have probably been more useful for this sort of conversation. Maybe it was because the guys were all on good terms with Xu Minghao that they were pushing for you to ask him to work with you. It was the only conclusion you could come to with how insistent they were on you choosing Minghao.
Then, Jeonghan spoke up, “Didn’t you say you wanted to make an impact with your documentary? What if you could really help him out?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. Just think about it.”
Your forehead creased. He clearly did have something in mind and just wanted to complicate matters for you, but you held your tongue instead of pressing Jeonghan further.
Later that night, while you were laying in your bed with your laptop warm on your stomach, you could only think about Xu Minghao and his sad smile when he talked about quitting dance. He didn’t really want to quit, but there was just too much going on for him to juggle that along with the countless other balls being thrown at him.
But was it right for him to just quietly let go of his dream? A passion that he had chased his whole life?
If you were in his shoes and you had to give up your dream of film, you weren’t sure you could go down without a fight. Even when your parents were against film school, even when everyone around you questioned your abilities, you pushed yourself to take on every opportunity that came your way. Your situation had never been as dire as Minghao’s, but you could imagine how he must have felt for his dream to crumble in the palm of his hands. With the right amount of support, you believed he could mold that dream together again.
In the still hours of twilight, you opened up a Word document and started typing away like your life depended on it.
“You look like shit.” Kim Yooyeon’s eyes were wide when she watched you walk out of your room right when she was about to leave for her 8:00 a.m. lecture. She was in the middle of her bowl of cereal when you crossed her on your way to the couch. “Did you even sleep?”
Your hand flew up to gently prod at the tender skin under your eyes. “Do I really look that tired?”
You all but fell against the couch, sinking into the cushions like it was quicksand. Normally, you could pour yourself a cup of coffee and get through the day, but you had accumulated enough sleep debt over the past few weeks to reach your breaking point.
Your roommate snorted. “Remember when you stayed up for three days straight during finals week last year? You look exactly like how you did back then.”
Thanks to Jeonghan’s cryptic words, you ended up spending the entire night researching and planning ways for you to help Minghao—or, at least, what you thought would help Minghao. Your document spanned almost forty pages, and you weren’t even sure if you would be using any of it. Your intention was to share your proposals with Minghao in hopes that he would find at least one of them to possibly work out.
The problem was: you were seconds away from falling asleep on the spot and your eyes felt sore every time you blinked. There was no way you could make it to Minghao’s coffee shop and deliver your pitch in this state.
“I stayed up all night working on something for Minghao.”
Yooyeon’s spoon clattered against the bowl. “Xu Minghao?”
You gave her the same rundown you gave your friends yesterday—a much more vague one because you didn't want to get into the nitty gritty details of Minghao’s life, especially when Yooyeon probably didn’t even care. Plus, you were too tired to get into the specifics. By the time you were finishing up your story, your mouth was hardly moving in time with your brain and your eyelids were drooping. You weren't even sure if you were speaking coherent sentences.
Yooyeon had her bag slung over her shoulder and was asking you something. You couldn't quite tell what it was because you were hanging by a thread at that point, but you definitely heard Jeonghan’s name at some point—maybe. All you could muster was a noncommittal sound before you drifted into a slumber.
A flash of red behind your eyelids roused you from your dreamless sleep, but you didn’t have time to squint before the nuisance of a light source was instantly blocked. You opened your eyes to see Xu Minghao sitting by your feet, using his hand to block the ray of light that shone through the window and landed directly on your face.
Perhaps you overreacted, but you were sure anyone would scream at the sight.
“Sorry, did I scare you?” Minghao stood up, alarmed.
Clearly.
You scrambled to sit up while he awkwardly shifted to the middle of your living room.
“No, Minghao, I was just warming up my vocal cords,” you deadpanned. “I don’t think it’s weird at all that you’re inside my apartment while I’m asleep.”
“Oh.” Minghao went still for a second. You watched the puzzled look on his face morph into one of dread once he seemed to understand how odd the situation looked. “Oh.”
After a few more moments of gawking at you, he started again, “This looks pretty bad.”
“Yeah, just a little.”
“I swear it’s not as creepy as it looks. Jeonghan said you wanted to see me, and then your roommate let me in. She told me to just wake you up, but I felt bad after a while. That’s why I just let you sleep.”
That must have been what Yooyeon was asking you while you were half-conscious, and you probably stupidly agreed despite not catching anything she said. This wasn’t how you wanted to talk to him; you needed time to mentally prepare yourself to meet Minghao—preferably in an outdoor setting where you were appropriately dressed—but now he had caught you completely off-guard.
It looked like he had just gotten back from the gym with his flushed cheeks and the sleeveless top that showed off his toned arms. When he raised his arm, you could even catch a glimpse of the infinity tattoo inked across his shoulder blade.
“I can leave,” he suggested, unsure.
“No, stay,” you said. “It’s just that I was gonna go see you on my own. How long have you been waiting here for, anyway?”
“Maybe ten minutes? I tried calling your name, but you asked me to let you sleep a little longer.”
You flushed, mortified. On top of accidentally inviting Minghao over to wait for you to wake up, you were sleep-talking in front of him too? Any semblance of professionalism you had was crashing and burning before you.
“I think I was sleep-talking with my roommate, too. That’s probably why she thought I needed to see you now,” you explained with a sheepish smile tugging at your lips. “Sorry about that.”
Minghao laughed and took a seat once he realized you weren’t going to shoo him out of the apartment anymore—or perhaps now he felt less guilty about showing up unexpectedly.
“So we’re even, right? Your stalking is forgiven,” you said, “but not forgotten.”
His eyes went wide with mock surprise, feigning a gasp. “Stalking? I could sue you for defamation of character.”
“Then sue me,” you challenged. “I have an outfit that I’ve been dying to wear in a courtroom.” Minghao raised his eyebrows with mild interest before you reached for your laptop on the coffee table. “Anyway, I wanted to show you something that could probably make you rethink that defamation lawsuit.”
You then turned to face him and clasped your hands together out of sheer desperation. “Please let me make you the star of my documentary.”
Minghao blinked at you for a few seconds before asking, “The documentary for your class? You want me in it?”
You nodded eagerly. “It’ll be all about you—your dancing, the café—everything that shows how hard you’ve worked for your dreams.”
“I don’t know, Y/N…” He looked slightly uneasy at the prospect. “I might not have the time for this. I already have shifts at the café every day.”
“I think I have a solution for that, too.”
“That’s great and all, but either way, I don’t even know how much longer we’re gonna be able to keep the café running.”
“But Minghao, listen, I have it all planned out.” You scooted closer until your knees were bumping against his, and you angled your laptop for him to see the screen. “There’s a scholarship offering twenty thousand dollars, and they’re asking for a video submission on what success means to you. It’s specifically for the arts—something you’re passionate about.”
“You mean…” He trailed off, eyes fixed on the screen.
“I say we kill two birds with one stone; I film the documentary for my final project while you use it to win that cash prize.”
Minghao looked from you, to the screen, and to you again. There was a suspension of fear across his face that was coupled with a sparkle of hope in his eyes. It looked as if stardust had scattered across his irises and lit them up.
“Twenty thousand dollars,” he started before mouthing the words again in disbelief. “That kind of money could save the café.”
“And pay for nationals,” you added. “I stayed up all night planning this out. If you trust me, I think we can actually make this work.”
“You really think so? But do you really think people would be interested in watching something that’s just about my life?”
“No doubt about it. That face sells,” you deadpanned, which caused the tips of his ears to go an endearing shade of red. “I wouldn’t have done all this work if I didn’t think we could pull it off.”
“This is all assuming I even get selected.”
“I’ll make sure you do. It’ll be my best work yet.”
After Minghao spent a considerable amount of time scanning your document over and over again (you were pretty sure the words were probably burned into his brain by now), the corner of his mouth quirked into a mischievous smile. “So, how good are you?”
“Good at what?”
“Filmmaking. I’ve never seen your work.”
You folded your arms across your chest. “I’ll have you know that I’ve had plenty of experience. I’m just using you for my big break.” You didn’t realize you had stiffened up until you let your body relax. “Do you want to see something I’ve filmed?”
“Can I?”
“Of course. I can’t have you agree to something before you know the standard of quality you’re getting,” you said with a prideful puff of your chest that deflated too quickly when you realized that you would have to show Minghao something so vulnerable. Maybe it wasn’t as big of a deal for him, but you shed your heart and soul into your craft; it was precious to you. You opened the video file and looked at him expectantly. “We don’t have to watch it.”
“No, I want to,” he said in a voice so earnest that you wanted to believe him. He focused on the file name at the top of the video player. “A Bite of Summer—what’s it about?”
“It’s pretty short. I’ll just play it for you.”
You hit play and moved the laptop onto Minghao’s lap instead, watching both the screen and his reaction to your videography. He was so zeroed in on the film that he hardly seemed to notice the way you kept glancing at him.
Summer was sweltering. Growing up, you always spent your summers surrounded by friends and family, whether it was going to the beach or going to the park. Living in the moment was simple back then; you weren’t confined to responsibilities and commitments that kept you from enjoying what life had to offer. In fact, some of your best summer memories were shared with Minghao. The two of you laughed without a care in the world as the warmth of the sun enveloped you.
Once you entered high school, however, summer felt so humid that it was suffocating. You were up to your neck in assignments, exam preparation, and part-time jobs. It became difficult to enjoy your youth when you had countless hours of work to do. Coincidentally, it was your first summer spent without Minghao; you weren’t sure if things would’ve been any different if you two were still friends back then, but maybe it would’ve simmered the ache in your chest.
Your short film, A Bite of Summer, was created amidst your summer blues. The film was about a girl named Rhea who meets her younger self at the beach she once used to frequent during the summer. It represented the relationship the older you had with your younger self; you were excited to grow and move forward as the seasons changed, but summer was always a bittersweet reminder that you had no time to grieve over your childhood. You didn't know what you lost until it was gone, but perhaps that made the memories even more precious.
You were still looking at Minghao, but you could hear your main character, Rhea, asking her younger self, “Are you ever scared of growing up?”
Minghao was watching intently, hanging onto every word. You weren’t sure why you felt so nervous about him watching. In your last year of middle school, you and Minghao began to have long conversations about how terrifying it was to grow up. He would open up about how much pressure he felt from balancing dancing and school, and you would tell him how you felt like you couldn’t breathe in the summer heat. Perhaps he had forgotten by now. Perhaps he wouldn’t connect your film back as being so personal to you.
You couldn’t tear your eyes away from his reaction during the scene where the younger Rhea reaches for the older Rhea’s hand, gripping tightly even as cold waves started to lap at their feet. Minghao watched quietly, dark eyebrows pulling together as he focused.
“I am,” the younger Rhea answered.
“You are?”
“It sounds exciting, but nothing scares me more.” You watched as Minghao’s lips parted, chestnut eyes glistening when she continued, “Maybe it doesn't feel that way because you don’t have to live through those hard times anymore, but I’m glad the good times stuck. That means this feeling will pass”—their hands dropped to their sides—“and yours will, too.”
And that was when a tear fell from Xu Minghao’s feathery lashes.
You’ve never witnessed anyone cry over the work you created. Sure, it tugged at your own heartstrings since it was so personal to you, but to watch someone else have such strong feelings over your film made tears well up in your eyes.
“Are… are you crying?” you stammered out, a tittering laugh following as Minghao used the pads of his thumbs to smear his tears off his cheeks. It was a pretty sight, like watching wet clay come undone before you.
“It was really good,” he mumbled, giving you the most adorable pout you had ever seen on an adult man before turning his head away to keep wiping at his tears. “I’m serious. Don’t laugh at me.”
“I’m just surprised. I’ve never seen someone react like that to my work.”
If you were just a little braver, you probably would’ve thanked him first before telling him that you were touched. You would’ve told him that no one had ever peeled back your layers without making it uncomfortable—sometimes even painful—but he handled you with so much delicacy. You would’ve told him that this film was about you, at your core, and perhaps he had already picked up on that, but you would’ve been brave enough to express yourself.
But you weren’t brave, so you just smiled at the lone tears that streaked Minghao’s face before he wiped them with his sleeve.
“Seriously, you’re incredible,” he said, still staring at the paused video on your laptop. The corner of his mouth lifted. “That was so short and it still made me cry.”
You couldn’t help the wide grin that stretched across your face. “You’re actually crying.”
“Well, yeah. Are you having fun watching me suffer?”
Was it borderline psychopathic that you were smiling while Minghao cried? Probably. On the other hand, you were simply glad you didn’t burst into tears alongside him. You nearly felt like you could’ve with the way he got so emotional about your work.
“A little,” you admitted. Surprisingly, that got a smile out of him. “I’m just happy you like it.”
“I do,” he said. A pause, then, “Why’s it called ‘A Bite of Summer,’ by the way?”
You scoffed. Actually, you had your reasons, but no one had ever asked you about that film specifically.
“I hate summer, that’s why,” you told him. “I can’t stand the heat.”
“Really?” His brows lifted. “I think summer’s pretty overrated, too.”
You cracked a grin. “No, you don’t. It’s your favorite season.”
“Hey, I can still acknowledge my favorite season’s overrated.”
He grinned and held the palm of his hand out to you. You were confused before Minghao gently grabbed your wrist and put your hand in his, interlocking your fingers and giving you a firm shake. Your hands were too clammy to be gripping Minghao’s calloused palms, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“Use me however you want, director,” he continued, and the sparkle in his eyes was something magnificent. “I’ll be your best star yet.”
“No lawsuit?” you asked.
Minghao laughed. “No lawsuit.”
You were sweating like you had just run a marathon. (You practically did; the distance from your apartment to Jeonghan’s location in the library was a mile and a half, and you were sprinting half the time.)
Since you needed some time to plan out your filming, you exchanged contact information with Minghao and told him that you would contact him when you were ready. Your nerves were buzzing with excitement now that you actually had a subject for your documentary. Conversations with your classmates would no longer make you feel like you were desperately hurrying to catch up with everybody else.
Your friends usually claimed the big table on the third floor. It was positioned at an optimal location next to the bathrooms and the elevator, so you were quite proud of your unassigned-assigned table. Junhui and Wonwoo were normally the ones who spent the most time in the library, whereas Seungkwan and Vernon usually only stopped by if they wanted to mess around.
“You bitch,” you spat, pointing an accusatory finger at Jeonghan, who was trying to frantically wave off clouds of smoke when he coughed in surprise. You collapsed into the chair next to him, catching your breath while Junhui and Wonwoo hardly batted an eye. “You should be prosecuted for vaping in the library, by the way.”
“I know, right?” Junhui frowned disapprovingly. “Take it outside, Jeonghan.”
“Addiction kills,” Wonwoo added, doleful.
“I was gonna ghost it!” Jeonghan cried in defense, lowering his voice toward the end once he realized they were, in fact, still inside the library. He turned back to face you. “Anyway, why am I a bitch again?”
“You invited Minghao into my apartment!”
“Okay, a lot of accusations here. What about a hi? A hello? A congrats-on-finding-your-vape-Jeonghan?”
You fixed him with a glare. “It’s one accusation that has already been confirmed, Jeonghan. Start talking.”
“Yooyeon told me that you needed to see Minghao. All I did was pass along the message,” he explained before a smirk grew on his face. “So what did you need to see him for?”
“Oh, right.” You cleared your throat. “I’ve decided on doing the Minghao documentary.”
Jeonghan’s lips parted in surprise, the corners of his lips twitching upward again. “Oh my god, you’re actually doing it! I mean, I had a feeling after Yooyeon called me, but…”
“Good choice,” Junhui said. “He’s an absurdly attractive man.”
“Phenomenal face for the cameras,” Wonwoo agreed, humming along.
“Okay, since when were you guys the Xu Minghao Fan Club?” You looked around the table and shook your head once you saw Junhui’s dreamy expression. “Never mind, don’t answer that. Point is, the Minghao documentary is in motion and I have a shit-ton to plan.” You turned to face Jeonghan. “You said you’d help out at the café, right? You’ll get paid, of course, but Minghao can’t keep taking shifts every day.”
“They’re still having money problems?” Jeonghan asked.
“Unfortunately, but he said that hiring part-timers is better for them financially.”
He hummed, nodding along to your words. “Well, I didn’t say I’d be helping at the café, but I’ll find you someone.”
“They’ll still have to be interviewed, of course. Oh, and they’ll have to be trained, and—”
“Don’t even worry,” Jeonghan assured. “I have the perfect person in mind. Actually, I think I can find you a few more, too.”
“I’m a little scared.”
“When have I ever let you down?” Before you could point out that there had actually been a few instances, Jeonghan seemed to realize the flaw in his question and added, “Rhetorical question. Anyway, just leave it to me.”
To an extent, you did trust him. Not only was Jeonghan involved in several clubs and organizations on campus, but he was also a freshman orientation leader for two years in a row. This was especially useful in the sense that he had connections to students you had never even seen in your life; when you used to have inquiries on subjects you wanted to film, you always asked Jeonghan for any references, and he almost always had a name in mind.
After a pause, your friend gave you a quizzical look. “Did you run all the way over here just to say that?”
“Uh…”
“You know you could’ve just texted me, right? Or called? Modern technology works wonders, Y/N.”
“Oh—right.”
Come to think of it, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d been so excited over something that you full-on sprinted to tell your friends. It begged the question of whether you would be this ecstatic if you weren’t filming a certain someone. The ice skating rink surely wouldn’t have gotten this reaction out of you.
You were fairly certain you knew the reason behind your lapse in judgement, and it was becoming clear that Xu Minghao was tangled right in the center of everything.
Filming started the following Monday.
You captured Minghao throughout his everyday life at first, which meant you had to follow him around all day to compile footage. Mentally, you weren’t very prepared for this. Following Minghao from campus, to the café, to his dance studio, and wherever else he decided to venture made you feel as if you were intruding. It was as if you were peaking into a world that you weren’t allowed into.
He wasn’t that great when it came to school as a kid, but now Minghao really tried to study hard, even if that meant dozing off in the middle of reading a page of his textbook. Just a few days ago, he invited you over for a movie, and you were really supposed to be editing your footage, but you caved within minutes of him asking. You remembered Minghao had always been a sucker for coming-of-age movies, but you were dumbfounded when he shed tears during Little Women. (What you wouldn’t dare tell him was how endearing you found him).
You toed the line as someone between a friend and a stranger; perhaps to Minghao you would be considered a friend, but you weren’t quite sure why you couldn’t see yourself fitting in that space again. Still, as you filmed him and shot his interviews, you were so intrigued by the new sides of him that kept coming up, as well as the parts you nearly forgot about. It felt strange to hear such sincere accounts of Minghao from the interviews with his instructors and peers, yet to be the one behind the camera that couldn’t hold onto him before.
Today, he was waiting for you at 11:30 a.m. sharp outside of the Arts building. It had been a little over a month since you and Minghao started working together, but you were more worried about the scholarship deadline than your own assignment’s deadline. Filming was going smoothly, but you still needed to get interviews from his friends and family. Editing the dance footage was going to take the entire night since you were in the studio for hours.
You were overwhelmed, to say the least.
Minghao was finished with classes for the day while you had an annoyingly long gap between your morning and evening classes. You were supposed to shoot some B-roll, but that completely slipped both of your minds as you were well into scarfing down the breakfast wraps you two had bought before sitting on a cold bench.
Dark, gray clouds moved like smoke across the sky. It was getting chillier, and you were suddenly reminded of when you’d wait for the school bus with Minghao in middle school. He was always carrying around hand warmers back then, offering you one without fail whenever you started to shiver. Sitting shoulder-to-shoulder without thinking too deeply about how close you were. Now, with the awkward gap between you two, you wished you could go back to those simpler times.
Maybe you were already considered friends. Maybe you were overthinking all of this.
You rarely analyzed your other friendships this thoroughly.
You would rather shrivel up and die than admit that you missed being the closest to Minghao, but whenever he said something particularly sweet or gave you that gentle smile where his eyes crinkled at the corners, you felt your heart soar just a little higher. Maybe—just maybe—if he pressed enough, he would get it out of you.
“I told my mentor I’m gonna keep practicing for nationals,” he said once he was waiting for you to finish the last few bites of your wrap, “and I told my mom about the scholarship. It took some time trying to convince her that it could actually work.”
“She was against it?”
“At first, yeah. I mean, I don’t blame her. We’re doing this on the off-chance I get selected—nothing’s guaranteed.” He gave you a crooked smile. “But, at the end of the day, it could save our café, so she’s touched that you’re trying.”
You took the last bite of your wrap instead of replying. Of course Minghao meant well, but you couldn’t help but feel your stomach pitted with anxiousness at the mention of how everything was riding on this film. It made you feel even worse because Minghao had more to lose than you did. Nationals and an assignment grade; it was almost ridiculous how high-stakes his situation was compared to yours.
“Jeonghan actually managed to find part-timers for the café,” he continued. “They’re coming by in the afternoon.”
“That’s good news, right? You sound surprised.”
“I am surprised. We hardly get people who wanna work there.”
“Seriously?”
“It’s not as convenient as an on-campus job, so most people aren’t willing to walk that far for a part-time job when they can easily find something closer.”
You didn’t mind the commute yourself, but you only visited the café occasionally; it would’ve been a different story if you were heading to work there every single day. You hoped whoever Jeonghan found was actually committed to their job.
Then, Minghao asked, “What’re you gonna be filming today?”
“I was thinking we can get some footage of you training the newbies,” you said. “Speaking of, now that you have more employees, does this mean you won’t have to work at the café as much?”
He grinned brightly. “My shifts are cut down to three days a week now. I’ll have plenty of time to focus on dance. We have other employees to train the new guys, too, so it’s not all on me.” Minghao then leaned in a little closer (making you laser-focused on stepping on every crunchy leaf at your feet to ignore how your brain was spinning) to say, “Jeonghan thinks there'll be a lot more girls coming to the café.”
“Because of the new baristas?”
He shrugged. “They’re good-looking guys.”
You thought back to the demographic of cafégoers when you first visited Café du Soleil. The majority were, in fact, teenage girls. You wouldn’t have been surprised if you discovered that Minghao’s face was the selling point, but to have multiple men like him working there? Not only were you worried that the coffee shop would turn into the Ouran Host Club, but you simply couldn’t picture even more people of the same visual caliber as Xu Minghao.
Before you could reply, Minghao noted your pause and asked, “What’re you thinking about?”
“I’m just curious.”
“Curious about what?”
When you looked at him, his gaze frantically scattered about before he returned to looking down at his wadded-up wrapper. You wouldn’t have found it weird if you caught him looking at you, but the fact that he looked away so quickly made you feel conscious of how warm you were getting under your jacket.
“Just wondering if they’re really all that. I find it hard to believe that whoever Jeonghan called is gonna bring in more of a crowd than you already do.”
Minghao looked baffled before he chuckled. “I don’t bring in a crowd.”
“There were so many girls when I visited yesterday! Didn’t you notice them giggling after you left their table?”
“They were probably just giggling over whatever teenage girls giggle over.”
Minghao was oblivious by nature. He was also a man, therefore he was stupid.
Coupled together, it was a disastrous combination that resulted in wildly attractive Xu Minghao being utterly useless when it came to recognizing that he was blessed with a first-rate genetic sequence.
“Hao,” you started slowly, “teenage girls giggle over guys.”
“Oh.” He frowned, and you held yourself back from rolling your eyes as you witnessed him take actual offense to what was supposed to be a compliment. You figured he had deeply misunderstood what you were getting at.
“Cute guys,” you corrected.
“Oh.”
You straightened up and stared back at him, bewildered. “You don’t even know, do you?”
“Know what?”
“Your—” Unable to articulate what you were trying to say (partly because it was far too embarrassing to outrightly call Minghao attractive), you made a dramatic gesture to refer to his face. “That!”
To your horror, he turned incredibly smug. “What, my face? What about it?”
“Uh…”
“Are you trying to say I look good, Y/N?”
This just in: Xu Minghao was a sick and twisted man.
In this very exact, very precise moment, you felt the most vulnerable you had ever been in front of the dancer, and he was using the very opportunity to humiliate you even further.
“I’m speaking objectively,” you said.
“You’re objectively saying I look good.”
“Yes.”
“What about subjectively?”
“Can we circle back to the café instead?” you offered, buffering as if you had to muster up the strength to push the words out through your teeth. “I’d much rather talk about the café.”
“Really? I was having more fun talking about how objectively and subjectively good I look.”
A groan fell from your lips. “You objectively and subjectively need to shut up.”
Minghao laughed at your reaction before standing up and reaching into his pockets. “C’mon, let’s get going before it gets late,” he said and pulled out a hand warmer from his coat, holding it out to you. “Here.”
You took it from him. “What’s this for?”
“You’ve been shivering this whole time.”
While Minghao chatted your ear off on the way to Café du Soleil, all you could think about was how he surprisingly paid attention to the little details about you that most people would miss. You were formulating a rough theory in your head: Xu Minghao had to be some sort of otherworldly being because there was no other explanation for how perfect he was.
Yoon Jeonghan was going to the deepest circle of Hell.
As soon as you saw Choi Seungcheol in an apron, you knew your insufferable friend had an agenda of his own when he was scouting out potential baristas. To Jeonghan’s credit, the other two baristas he found seemed like they had been objectively scouted (no offense to Seungcheol, but you were 99% sure Jeonghan just wanted a chance to see the man as frequently as possible).
“That’s Chan.” Jeonghan jerked his chin in the direction of the younger guy who was fumbling with the cash register, and then you followed his gaze over to the barista who was fixing an acrylic pin of Elphaba from Wicked to his apron. “And that one’s Seokmin.”
Apparently, Jeonghan met Lee Seokmin through a hiking club. More specifically, Jeonghan met Seokmin at a hiking club party while they were trying to puke their guts out in the same bush.
Lee Chan, on the other hand, was a family friend’s son that Jeonghan adored. You recalled him bringing Chan to a college party once and never again; the high school senior was later given twenty bucks to keep his mouth shut about Jeonghan hitting his vape.
After his eyes lingered on his eye candy (read: Seungcheol) for a ridiculously long amount of time, Jeonghan finally noticed the reproachful look you were giving him. “What?”
“I know damn well you just wanted to get Seungcheol in an apron.”
“No,” Jeonghan sneered, as if he was disgusted by your accusation. “I was trying to see him with his sleeves rolled up. There’s a difference.”
“Whatever, dude. They both boil down to you being a whore.”
“Hey, I mention a hiring notice to the man I want,” Jeonghan started with an air of confidence, leaning back in his seat to take a sip of his latte, “and you turn yours into the star of your film. We’re basically birds of a feather here.”
You nearly choked over your own drink (the mango fruit tea—again), and you were suddenly grateful that Minghao was currently training the newbies behind the counter despite feeling jealous earlier about them getting most of his attention. It was a relief that you two were alone at a table and out of earshot. Jeonghan needed to stay far, far away from Minghao; he was clearly not to be trusted to run his mouth around the dancer.
You gave him an incredulous look, ignoring the burst of heat that exploded within your chest. “First of all, lower your voice before someone hears you and actually takes you seriously. Second of all, what?”
“What’s wrong with me wanting Seung—”
“I’m talking about the other part!”
“I said what I said—and if you think about it, you’re crazier than I am.”
“Excuse me?” Your whisper might as well have been a shout. You quieted down again before speaking, “I’m not crazy, and I don’t want Hao.”
“Yeah, okay,” Jeonghan replied, unconvinced, “So you’re telling me that you didn’t feel any sort of way after he gave you a piggyback ride home from the club last week?”
It would be impossible to forget, even if you were blasted out of your mind. After much persuasion from Seungkwan and Jeonghan, you were convinced to invite Minghao last-minute to your night out. You were already several drinks in when he finally showed up at the club, so your first instinct was to throw yourself into his arms. Not your finest moment. But he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer by the waist, so you couldn’t help but let yourself get carried away.
Several shots later, you found it impossible to walk with how your balance was completely off. Minghao, being the knight in shining armor he was, opted to carry you home on his back while holding onto your heels.
You settled for saying, “He was just being nice.”
“That wasn’t my question, and I don’t think he was just trying to be nice.”
“Is it so hard for you to believe that he’s just a genuinely good guy?”
“Well, he is, but it’s not like you guys just film your little documentary and move on with your lives after,” Jeonghan said. “He hangs out with you, texts you every day, finds literally any excuse to invite you over, and you guys even bought matching pajamas!”
“They were on sale!”
“Lots of things were on sale, Y/N; it was literally Black Friday.”
“It was Cyber Monday,” you corrected in a grumble.
“You specifically chose the pajamas to wear with him.”
“We’re friends,” you insisted, although it sounded like you were more so trying to convince yourself than Jeonghan. You would be lying if you said you didn’t feel the undercurrent of your emotions tugging at your ankles, but that was not a revelation you were meant to have at Café du Soleil with Minghao in your vicinity. “We’re just doing what friends do.”
Jeonghan slurped his drink in a ridiculously loud manner. You shot him a disapproving look.
“You know what I think?”
You were certain that you didn’t want to hear what Jeonghan thought, but nevertheless, you entertained his attempts to provoke you. “What now?” you snapped.
“I think you’re still hurt by how you two drifted apart—you and Hao,” he said, “and you’re probably thinking it’s gonna happen again. That’s why you’re too scared to admit he’s being a little more than nice to you.”
Bullseye. Jeonghan had watertight intuition when it came to the people he was close with, and you were no exception. His words were so on the mark that you felt vulnerable and exposed, like your skin was suddenly clinging too tight around your bones.
The thing was, you still couldn’t exactly remember how you and Minghao grew distant. You recalled the throng of memories of when you two were friends, but everything leading up to your falling out was hazy. Could you even call it a falling-out if there weren’t necessarily any hard feelings? He certainly hadn’t done anything that made you want to block him out of your memory (it was Xu Minghao, for God’s sake), but you couldn’t imagine why you would be so hurt over growing apart from an old friend.
“You really chose the worst possible time and place for this conversation,” was all you could mutter in response.
“We have air conditioning and cheesecake. What could possibly be better than this?”
Whether Jeonghan was selective about what he chose to be perceptive about or simply didn’t understand the gravity of this situation, you couldn’t tell; you just gave him a dumbfounded stare. “Anywhere else! Anywhere else would’ve been better!”
“You’re so picky.”
“And you can’t read the room.”
“You know what I can read,” he started with a cheeky grin while his eyes focused on something—or someone—else behind you, “Xu Minghao’s name tag.”
“Oh, do you like it? I drew Seungkwan’s dog and Vernon’s cat next to my name,” came a breezy voice from behind you, making your heart plummet to your stomach.
How long had he even been standing there? You thought you could just ignore Minghao, but you found yourself turning around to see his two pets he doodled on his nametag. Unfortunately, they were cute, but you were still too mortified to give him a proper reaction.
“How—how long have you been there for?” you stammered. “Did you hear what we were talking about?”
Minghao raised a brow. “Not long. Why? Is it something I’m not supposed to hear?”
You balked before answering, “No,” but the inflection in your tone made you sound as if you were questioning yourself.
(Jeonghan made direct eye contact with you and mouthed the word pussy. You made a mental note to deal with him later in a potentially homicidal manner.)
“By the way, Jeonghan, the guys you brought in are doing great,” Minghao went on to praise. “I don’t think we even need to train them for that long. Seokmin’s a natural at this.”
Jeonghan let out a wistful sigh. “I knew I recognized his potential.”
“Didn’t you guys meet at a party? How’d he manage to show barista potential?” you asked.
“I was thirsty and he brought me water.”
Nice. That was one way to prove himself, you supposed.
Then, Minghao turned his attention to you. “Were you gonna get some more shots today? Chan says he won’t make a run for it if he sees the camera this time.”
Earlier, you were trying to film Minghao showing Chan the proper technique of steaming milk, which Chan hardly was able to pay attention to because he was too busy gawking at the camera. As soon as Minghao was done talking, the high schooler hurried into the break room.
“I think I got everything I needed,” you answered, tilting your head up to see him smiling fondly down at you. The look in his eyes made you feel like something syrupy was trickling down your throat, as if you were drowning in his endearment. “Why’d you call Jeonghan over here, anyway? He’s pissing me off.”
As expected, your words got a rise out of Jeonghan. “All I did was sit here!”
“And you opened your mouth. That’s basically a misdemeanor.”
“Jeonghan, quit bothering her,” Minghao scolded. (“What? What the hell? What did I do?” Jeonghan went on to complain. “This is going in my Yelp review, by the way—one star for betrayal and terrible customer service.”) He looked back at you with a softened gaze as Jeonghan’s maundering turned into background noise. “You’re not leaving yet, are you?”
You were about to head out, but your legs suddenly didn’t feel like moving once Minghao looked at you with those warm eyes of his that made your insides feel like they had been doused in kerosene and lit aflame.
Jeonghan, who was hell-bent on his mission to push you and Minghao closer as much as you resisted, appeared to take your hesitation as an opportunity.
“We’re going back to my apartment to smoke,” your friend declared. Although that had never been the plan, you kept your mouth shut to see where Jeonghan was going with this. “You coming, Hao?”
Minghao snuck a glance at you. “Tonight? I don’t know. I might be free.”
“Holy shit,” Jeonghan gushed before Minghao’s words could even properly register in your ears, leaning over the table to put his hand on top of yours. “I should invite Soonyoung. Remember? The guy from our orientation group that you thought was cute?”
Of course you remembered Kwon Soonyoung. How could anyone forget a face like that? But you wanted to reach over the table and strangle Jeonghan for bringing him up in the worst possible context and potentially screwing up your non-existent love life for good. As you fought down your murderous tendencies and glanced nervously between the boys, however, you noticed a muscle in Minghao’s jaw twitch.
You started, “Soonyoung? I mean, sure, but—”
“Actually, I’ll be there,” Minghao cut in, his face void of emotion. “What time?”
Jeonghan simpered, quite pleased with himself. “Eight?”
“Sounds good.”
Without another word, the barista walked off, leaving you in stunned silence. Did you just witness Xu Minghao get jealous? There was no way for you to spin this as anything else; it was pure, unadulterated envy that bled out of him.
As your face grew increasingly hot, you spoke in a frantic, hushed voice, “He cut me off. He cut me off! Have you ever seen Hao that mad? I’ve never seen him that mad.”
But Jeonghan didn’t seem the least bit worried at all. In fact, he looked far too smug. “He’s really mad, isn’t he?”
“What’d you say all that for? I don’t think I can handle Hao and Soonyoung in the same room after this. I haven’t even brought up Soonyoung since last year, you douchebag!”
“Relax,” Jeonghan replied coolly. “I’m not inviting Soonyoung. I just said that to fuck with Hao.” A Cheshire-like grin spread across his face, and he pulled out his phone to start tapping away in front of you. “I’ve never seen him that jealous before. Maybe you should wear something nice and lace—”
“Shut up,” you interrupted with a scowl. “There were never any plans to begin with, were there?”
“Yes, there were—now,” he said, causing you to groan at the end. “I just told the group chat about it. You can thank me later.”
“I am not thanking you for the amount of torment you just put me through,” you said, hesitated, then stiffly added, “but thank you.”
“See? I’m always looking out for you.” He gave you a sincere look. “Now do me a solid and please get Seungcheol to show up.”
“I knew there was a catch.”
yoon jeonghan: smoke sesh at my place @ 9 yoon jeonghan: be there or our friendship’s over
boo seungkwan: i have no weed boo seungkwan: lost my vape too
you: real hustlers would never make excuses
wen junhui: she’s right
vernon chwe: i have your vape seungkwan
boo seungkwan: wtf give it back boo seungkwan: wait my vape with vernon’s saliva 🤤
vernon chwe questioned “wait my vape with vernon’s saliva 🤤”
you: alright chill
boo seungkwan: if i close my eyes i can almost taste him
vernon chwe: um. vernon chwe: i'd like to give it back because it’s yours but idk if i should anymore
jeon wonwoo: Why are we having a smoke sesh on a random ass day jeon wonwoo: I have a midterm tomorrow
boo seungkwan: leave tomorrow’s problems for a Tomorrow You
jeon wonwoo: True jeon wonwoo: Ok see u guys there
yoon jeonghan: i’ll provide the smoke sesh essentials
wen junhui: i have 11 edibles wen junhui: each person gets 1 and fight to the death over the rest
boo seungkwan: pog
you: thanks for that
jeon wonwoo: Amazing
vernon chwe: incredible
You were blasted out of your mind.
True to his word, Jeonghan didn’t invite Soonyoung to his gathering; and true to your word, you roped Minghao into bringing Seungcheol along.
You were initially worried that things would be awkward between you and Minghao, but he seemed to be in a significantly better mood by the time you got to talk to him. He didn’t even know that this whole night had been Jeonghan’s maniacal plot to set you guys up, so Minghao was completely oblivious when Seungkwan ushered him to sit next to you on the couch.
The night started off with Junhui passing out his edibles and auctioning off his last three to whoever did the best animal impression (one went to Minghao, one went to Jeonghan, and one went to Vernon). You were content with your one edible because you never had that strong of a weed tolerance, and halfway into watching Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, you felt your eyes starting to grow heavy.
There were two types of people when high, though: one was you, who could probably be considered motionless and inanimate; and the other was someone like Seungkwan, whose not-so-wise ideas seemed to increase tenfold.
And, of course, since Harold and Kumar wanted to go to White Castle, Seungkwan and Vernon wanted to go on an adventure, too.
After much planning (which you weren’t part of because your body felt as if it was sinking into the couch cushions), your friends mobilized their efforts to come up with a scheme to bring back food from three different restaurants at once. They split themselves up into teams; Jeonghan and Seungcheol were going to Taco Bell, Seungkwan and Vernon were going to Panera Bread, and Junhui and Wonwoo were going to Chipotle.
If you were sober, you probably would have reminded them that UberEats still existed—or that they should probably look up the closing hours.
Naturally, you and Minghao were left in Jeonghan’s apartment. You didn’t mind because they promised to bring back food, but Jeonghan had definitely orchestrated getting you alone with Minghao. This meant you were probably expected to make a move or do whatever else was deemed entertaining in their eyes.
“Why didn't you go with them?” you asked Minghao. Everything seemed much more amusing to you all of a sudden, like the tuft of his hair that just wouldn't stay down.
“I’d rather stay here.” He shrugged and nudged your arm with his elbow. “Why? Do you want me to go?” he teased.
You reached over and patted down the strands of hair that kept sticking up. “No, stay. I need a witness if Jun’s edibles kill me.”
He laughed. “You’re not gonna die.”
“I am.” You placed a hand against your chest, right where your heartbeat thundered at lightning speed. “Please don’t be mad at me if I flatline.”
“No, you’re fine,” he said, taking your hand and placing it over his heart. His heartbeat was fast but probably not as fast as yours. “See? They’re the same.”
You thought Xu Minghao should’ve done the right thing for your heart and not look so devastatingly good all the time, but he always managed to catch you off-guard with that sickeningly sweet smile of his. He also should’ve been making an effort to not touch you so casually when your heart was already running at a million miles per hour. It wasn’t very fair that you were cursed to control your emotions every time you saw him from a decidedly good angle (which was almost every angle). You needed to bury whatever you were feeling before he entered a dangerous territory of your heart.
On second thought, you weren’t sure you could keep him out.
“No, they’re not,” you said. “I think it’s because of the weed and the fact that you’re very close.”
You swore you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips, but Minghao expertly concealed it by raising a brow at you instead. “Oh? You’re blaming it on me now?”
“Blame is a strong word.”
Even he couldn’t stop the shit-eating grin from appearing on his face as he leaned in closer. “Then why am I such a problem for your heart, Y/N?”
“I don’t know,” you muttered. “You just are.”
“Does it have anything to do with me being objectively good-looking?”
You groaned. “You won’t let that one go, will you?”
“Unfortunately for you, I think I like where this is going.”
Something very dangerous was brewing in your chest.
You weren't sure if it was the weed that was making you bolder, but the haze was surely letting down your inhibitions. Instead of feeling like you were sinking deeper into the couch, you felt like you were gravitating closer to Minghao.
“Will you ever give me an answer?” he asked, and your breath caught in your throat when he delicately held your chin with two fingers, turning your head to look at him.
“No, I don’t think so.”
He pouted, and then you mocked his pout in return.
And just when you thought he was done messing with you, Xu Minghao dipped his head to seal his lips over yours, kissing your pout away.
Alarmed, you pulled back immediately, your eyes wide and unblinking as you stared at him in shock. He didn’t seem all that fazed himself, but he pressed his lips together tightly and withdrew his hand slowly. It was a short-lived kiss, but you were so close to getting hooked and losing all semblance of self-control.
“Sorry,” he apologized quickly.
“W-why are you sorry?” you stuttered, pitchy.
“I should’ve asked first.”
“Yes.”
“What?”
You shook your head to clear the mess of tangled thoughts. This was the worst possible conversation to be having while you were both high out of your minds, but you were also feeling a lot more courageous now that you knew that Minghao actually wanted to kiss you.
You wanted to kiss him, too. Now that you had a taste, you couldn’t resist thinking about how his lips would feel against yours again, how he would touch you again with such tenderness.
“Sorry, I thought you were asking,” you said.
“Asking what?”
“To kiss me.”
“Oh.” Minghao went silent for an entire minute. (You counted the seconds.) You watched as he stared blankly into space before the weight of your words seemed to finally register. “Oh.”
Your face felt hot. “Don’t just oh me.”
Minghao chuckled in response. He shifted so that he was turned toward you, one of his hands finding purchase on the back of your neck and the other on your knee. You nearly forgot how to breathe as you were so focused on how his touch burned your skin.
“No, I was just thinking about how cute you are,” he clarified.
“Huh?” You were pretty sure your voice was an octave higher, judging by how Minghao now looked even more amused by you. “Cute?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” His hand started to inch up from your knee, torturously moving up and down. You swallowed thickly. “I think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”
You choked out a laugh. “Are you kidding?”
“I’m dead serious,” he insisted, and you could tell he was by the way his eyes darkened and his hand slid higher up your thigh. “You know I’m not a liar, Y/N.”
When you didn’t respond, he lowered his voice and continued, “You know, a big part of dancing is about the finer details.” Minghao���s hand dragged across your skin so slowly that you couldn’t hold in your trembling breath full of want. “I always make sure to pay extra attention, so I think you can trust me when I tell you you’re pretty.”
For a moment, you were floundering for words. You were already feeling dizzy by his mere touch, and then he went on to say something that made you feel even more feverish. Xu Minghao truly was a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
“Here,” he said, “let me just show you.”
He moved the hand on your thigh to grip your chin again, pressing a few tentative, experimental kisses to your lips before finally capturing them in a longer, desperate manner. Your heartbeat was hardly a rhythm anymore, just a steady line of white noise that rushed loudly in your ears. Kissing Minghao was addicting, and as you moved your arms to wrap around his neck, you found yourself losing the last shred of control that was keeping you from him.
By the time Minghao made the daring decision to slide his hand up your shirt, you two had been kissing each other senselessly. Your legs were haphazardly strewn across his lap while he bent you down to kiss you at a better angle.
Part of you was worried that this was moving too fast; the other half was begging you to speed up.
You couldn’t make sense of anything when his tongue slid against yours so languidly, sending delightful shivers up your spine. One of your hands moved up to entangle your fingers in his roots, tugging just enough to have him groaning into the kiss.
Just when you were certain things were going to escalate further—and god, did you want them to escalate—a loud knock at the door had you and Minghao pulling apart like two magnets with opposite poles.
“I don’t have a key!” Junhui’s muffled yell was heard through the door.
You and Minghao exchanged a look before he stood up to get the door. You ran a hand through your hair to look presentable again, even though your half-lidded eyes were a dead giveaway that you were floating elsewhere, high up in the clouds.
With his taste still on your lips, the tangle of an unspoken truth wound itself tighter around your throat.
You used The Kiss™ as an excuse for some space. The excuse you gave Minghao, however, was that you “needed a week for editing.”
This was a (white) lie for two reasons:
Minghao wasn't going to interfere with your editing process to the extent of needing to completely push him away.
You definitely did not need a full week for editing.
The cherry on top of your excellent decision-making was that it only took you a little over a day to start missing Minghao again.
The worst part of it all was that being the sweetest man to grace this planet, Minghao understood you right away and stopped texting you immediately. And, of course, you started to overthink his silence, as if you weren’t the one who needed time.
After you and Minghao had been rudely interrupted by Junhui and Wonwoo, the two of you carried on like nothing happened. Apparently, Jeonghan had been very strategic about where he made everyone go to pick up food: Chipotle was close by, and he claimed it was important that you and Minghao didn’t spend too much time alone in case things got awkward; and the other two were mostly for Jeonghan’s convenience (Panera Bread because he wanted a charged lemonade, and Taco Bell because it was the farthest away and gave him more time to be alone with Seungcheol). There were good intentions, yes, but you were bitter because the only part of Jeonghan’s plan that was supposed to benefit you was the part that ended up cockblocking you.
The guys made it impossible for you to get some alone time with Minghao for the rest of the night. You couldn’t even see him the next day because you ended up sleeping in so late that Minghao was gone by the time you woke up.
Going back to your apartment the next morning felt like The Walk of Shame.
Now, you were sprawled across the couch in your living room, laptop warm on your stomach as you sifted through your camera footage. Yooyeon was sitting on the carpet and doing her nails at the coffee table. Earlier in the morning, when you gave her the rundown of the events from last night, The Kiss™ had her jumping on the couch for so long that you ended up banishing her to the floor.
“After everything you just told me,” Yooyeon said, “I think you should just tell him how you feel. Don’t mince your balls. Just get right to the point.”
“Mince my balls? I don’t think that’s an expression.” You paused for what felt like forever until the appropriate idiom dawned on you. “It’s mince your words, dumbass, not mince your balls.”
“Mince your words, mince your balls—same thing.”
“It’s really not.”
“Okay, but you two have had this weird back-and-forth for, like, a month now,” she said. “It’s not like he’s gonna say no to a date.”
“But what if he does say no?”
Yooyeon rolled her eyes. “You guys literally kissed. Pretty sure that’s a free pass to ask him out.”
You thought back to Jeonghan’s words, how he suggested that you were still hurt by you and Minghao drifting apart in middle school and that you subconsciously thought it could happen again. It was uncharacteristic for you to hold a grudge this long, though, but you really couldn’t remember what was the turning point that made you feel like you had to walk on eggshells around him.
After putting your headphones over your ears, you clicked on the next video file to decide whether you were saving it for the film or not. The thumbnail that popped up was Minghao’s arm around your shoulders while you were trying to record the both of you sharing takoyaki outside. It was one of the videos that you took for fun in the middle of your shoot, but the sight made your heart flutter in your chest.
“I’ll feed you,” Minghao in the video said, a wide grin on his face as he stabbed a toothpick into a takoyaki ball and inched it closer to your lips. “Careful, it’s hot.”
Your face twisted as soon as the searing hot takoyaki hit your tongue. You remembered how you were about to drop your camera and spit the takoyaki out, but in order to not embarrass yourself in front of Minghao and everyone else around you, it was crucial that you kept your composure.
“I said it was hot!” Minghao exclaimed when you shot him an icy glare.
As you attempted to eat the takoyaki without burning your tongue, some of the batter dribbled down your chin. You let out a muffled yelp when it scalded your skin, pointing frantically at the mess you were making. It looked like your lips were trying to frame the word tissue, but you immediately covered your mouthful of takoyaki with your hand.
Minghao laughed at you, a dimple carving into the corner of his lip. “Stay still. Let me get it for you.”
The video cut right while Minghao was wiping your chin with a spare napkin. You remembered how gentle his hold was on your face, as if you were fine china. The fond smile fixed on his face wasn’t doing your heart any favors. You glanced over at Yooyeon to make sure she was too preoccupied with her nails to catch the growing smile that kept creeping onto your lips.
When you opened the next video file, the thumbnail wasn’t a frame you recognized. Minghao was in his dance studio, facing the camera at the full-length mirror to capture his entire body. You remembered the exact day he must have filmed this because he let you attempt to braid his hair on the bus ride home.
“Hey, Y/N, I’m recording this without your permission,” he started, a mischievous grin playing on his face. “Since you’re out getting snacks, I’ve decided to vlog the choreo I just came up with.”
This time, you realized too late that your face had broken into a smile so affectionate that Cupid may as well have sent an arrow right through your chest. You were seven minutes into watching Minghao trying to master his self-made choreography when it finally hit you that you had spent the entire month with Minghao—laughing, hanging out, watching movies, going on long drives, studying at his café, and getting to know him all over again. All of that was under the pretext of filming your documentary, but now that you were realizing there was no excuse for you to be around him anymore, a strange feeling of apprehension consumed you.
You could say that you and Minghao were friends now, but your life had become so intertwined with his that you weren’t sure how you would feel when things went back to normal.
Your attention snapped back to your laptop screen when Minghao stopped dancing to speak to the camera again.
“I know you’re probably procrastinating on editing this, so you owe me five dollars if you haven’t watched this by the 19th,” he said. You checked the clock to confirm that it was, indeed, past said date and well into the week after. Just as you were about to make a note to send Minghao the money, he lowered his voice and continued, “But, since you watched till the end, I’ll tell you a secret. You can’t tell anyone, though, especially not Jeonghan!”
You noticed his face was flushed a faint shade of pink when he confessed, “Now I’m only telling you this because it’s been bothering me for weeks. You never brought it up, but… I intentionally didn’t warm up your injeolmi toast that day because I wanted you to bring it back so that we could, um… talk, I guess. I still can’t believe you ate the whole thing without realizing.”
Your heart stuttered—tripped, fell over, got up again, repeated the process—and, oh, you were a discombobulated mess on the inside.
Minghao chuckled to himself and started going off on a tangent about the injeolmi toast, but you were unable to move on from what he had said. (“You know it’s supposed to be warmed up, right? I figured you just didn’t know because you’ve never had it… maybe I should’ve given you the wrong drink instead.”)
The answer was jammed in your throat like a pill you couldn’t swallow: you liked Xu Minghao.
And, strangely enough, the feeling wasn’t unfamiliar.
You remembered exactly what it was like to long for the sun. You’d fallen in love with all of Minghao long before. A rush of repressed feelings from your middle school years bubbled to the surface, and perhaps they didn’t make any sense to you in the past, but it was all too clear now. What you felt for Minghao wasn’t anything new; your first love blossomed long ago, and you plucked out all the petals of your feelings before they could grow any further.
You just didn’t nip enough of them in the bud.
If you remembered correctly, you and Minghao started growing apart the day he got his first girlfriend. It wasn’t that you two had a proper argument or fell out, but you safeguarded yourself from the heartbreak by distancing yourself until you were out of each other’s lives. He must have been too caught up in his new relationship to realize it himself, but of course you couldn’t blame him when you were the one who pulled away first.
But things were different now. You were different now.
In the past, you made sure to swallow your feelings down, no matter how painful and thick they were lodged in your throat. Now, however, despite how hard you tried to suppress them, you felt as if you were glowing in the light of reciprocated love. It was maddening—agonizing even—but so wonderful.
“I think I like him, Yooyeon,” you blurted out, only looking in your roommate’s direction when you heard her knocking over her collection of press-on nails. The mess was hardly a concern to her right now, though. “Minghao, I mean.”
“Can I tell Jeonghan?”
You reached around your laptop to grab a throw pillow and whack her over the head with it. “I’m having the most insane revelation of my life and pouring my heart out to you here, and your first instinct is to tell Jeonghan?”
“Okay, damn, I’ll give it a few hours.” Yooyeon set her phone back down and turned around to face you again, her eyes lit up with excitement. “Now tell me everything. Like, everything. I need you to explain from start to finish.”
“That might take a while,” you warned.
She snorted and picked up her nail file. “I think I can make time in my very busy schedule.”
Your interrogation with Yooyeon didn’t take a few hours, as you expected it would; rather, your discussion cut into the late hours of the night, keeping you and your roommate up until dawn. Jeonghan joined over FaceTime at some point and screeched loud enough for you to worry about noise complaints (Wonwoo made a guest appearance, too), but you also learned that your friend group had seen this coming from the beginning. You weren’t sure how you felt being the only one out of the loop, but Jeonghan made sure to point out that you were just completely oblivious.
You didn’t exactly discuss your next steps, though. Yooyeon mentioned asking Minghao out on a date, but you weren’t sure how to do that without acknowledging The Kiss™ first. You had to bring it up somehow, but you kept putting it off to work on editing.
Thinking about Xu Minghao proved to be dangerous for your motivation. It had only been a week but you instinctively kept checking your phone to see if he texted you. (Spoiler: he didn’t.) It took all of your willpower, but you forced yourself to push him out of your head and focus on getting the documentary done.
Editing was torturous. You practically spent all day and night glued to your laptop, whether it was in the dining hall or in your bed. For something that was only supposed to be ten minutes long, there were hours of footage for you to get through, some of which ended up being unusable, much to your frustration.
Finally, though, after long days of tirelessly working, the finished project was in your hands.
Of course, Minghao was the very first person you told. You were so giddy that you called him immediately, your heart soaring when he picked up on the second ring. In under an hour, you found yourself running to Café du Soleil to show him the documentary.
Upon seeing Minghao’s bright face, before you could even get a hi out, he crushed you in his embrace. You breathed in the addicting scent of his cologne—gaiac wood and cedar. It was clear that neither of you wanted to pull away, but you took a step back first.
“Congratulations,” he praised, rubbing small circles on your upper arm with his thumb. “Do I get to watch it now?”
“If you have ten minutes to spare, we can watch it together,” you said, pulling out your laptop once you reached your usual table. “I wanted you to be the first person to see it.”
“I’m off my shift,” he replied, pulling up a chair right next to you, “so I’ve got time to kill.”
You handed him an AirPod to listen along with you. Sound was one of your favorite parts of creating a film—setting the atmosphere, building the tension, playing with senses and emotions—so you really wished you could give Minghao the full experience, but since you were in a public setting, this would have to do.
The documentary opened with Minghao at his dance studio, sweat glistening on his toned muscles as his body moved to the beat. The demanding choreography coupled with his exhaustion didn’t stop him from showcasing an almost flawless performance. There was a brief exchange with his mentor before the scene cut to an interview with Minghao explaining how his passion for dance started and how he had grown into competing in national-level tournaments.
You added a compilation of clips from Minghao’s previous performances, as well as accounts from his peers about how hardworking and motivated he was. His mentor gave a particularly heartwarming speech on how driven Minghao was as a dancer and how he put his all into everything he did. The part you were the proudest of had to be getting Jeonghan to give his two cents on being Minghao’s friend, and you were pleasantly surprised that he took it seriously and said something sweet.
“To me, success is about working hard despite my circumstances,” Minghao said. In his interview clip, he took on a more serious tone. “I don’t have to be the best dancer in the world as long as I’m doing what I’m passionate about. At some point, I think I lost myself for a while… but someone special pulled me out of that slump and pushed me to keep going. I can’t thank her enough, honestly.”
You knew it was coming because you put the clips together yourself, but your face still grew hot regardless. Minghao being right next to you wasn’t exactly helping your case or making you feel any less flustered. Perhaps most people watching your documentary wouldn’t realize who he was referring to, but you knew that he was talking about you.
The film then got into Minghao’s financial struggles with the café, showing segments of his mother talking about Café du Soleil and how much the place meant to her family. You then showed the new part-timers being trained (with extra screen time for Seungcheol, as per Jeonghan’s suggestion—or, well, persuasion), and Seokmin even gushed about how much he looked up to Minghao in his own interview.
The documentary ended with a few words from Minghao, switching back and forth between the dance studio and the café. The screen then faded to black with the bustling sounds of the café gradually fading out.
It was only when your screen was dark enough to see your reflection that you realized there were tears in both yours and Minghao’s eyes. You already watched it about five times yourself, but something was different about watching it alongside the person you worked with for over a month to bring your ideas to life.
And, apparently, you two weren’t the only ones tearing up.
Minghao flinched when he turned his head to see the part-timers sitting at the table behind them and peering at the laptop screen. “Fuck, you guys scared me.”
“Sorry,” Seokmin apologized, hastily wiping at a stray tear. “It was just so beautiful.”
Chan gave you a nod of approval. “The only thing it needed was more screen time from me.”
“You literally ran away every time you were on camera,” you said, swiveling around to look at the two baristas. “Were you two just sitting behind us this whole time?”
“Yes,” Seokmin confirmed. “We appreciated the subtitles.”
Truthfully, you were extremely satisfied with their reactions. Your short film, A Bite of Summer, bringing Minghao to tears was enough to rile you up for days, and now you had two other people who got emotional over a documentary you filmed and produced with your own two hands.
“You really outdid yourself,” Minghao murmured, and when you turned to him, he was looking at you as if no one else was in the café except you. He reached his hand out to brush a stray lock of hair behind your ear.
With a shy smile, you said, “It wouldn’t have come together without you.”
Through your periphery, you noticed Seokmin and Chan exchanging a look.
“Alright, they’re having a moment,” Seokmin announced, standing up and gesturing for Chan to follow him. “Let’s get back to work.”
Minghao, whose ears were a bright shade of red now, tried to awkwardly laugh off the embarrassment. There was a twinkle in his eyes when he looked back at you, and you burned up all over again once you remembered how his soft lips felt against yours. Unfortunately, one of the symptoms of having a crush on someone was that your mind often went blank and filled itself up with all things Xu Minghao instead, so you couldn’t exactly think straight right now.
“I’ve finished the application and essay for the scholarship,” he said, “so I guess all there’s left to do is submit.”
“I’m sure no one else had an incredibly talented film major directing and producing their video,” you joked.
“No, you’re right. If I don’t get the scholarship after this, I might take it personally.”
“Oh, please,” you muttered quietly, “you’re too nice.”
“I’m not that nice, Y/N.” To your surprise, Minghao’s eyes hardened. You had never seen such an expression on his face, and it made your stomach instantly sink to your feet, but he bounced right back to his cheery self soon after. “I’ll walk you home after we submit these?”
“Y-yeah.”
Minghao pulled his own laptop out of his bag while you copied the link to your video in Dropbox. You pasted the link into an email, but your finger hovered over the send button for far too long. Once it went through, you were officially done with this project; it no longer tied you to Minghao.
You sucked in a breath and sent him the link.
You could only stare at your Canvas submission page. The link to your documentary was already pasted in; all you had to do was hit submit, but you felt so anxious. Maybe you missed one of the guidelines, or maybe you needed to watch it again, but you knew deep down that you replayed it several times and it was as close to perfection as you wanted it to be.
“Hao, I’m scared. Let’s submit ours at the same time.”
He chuckled. “You don’t have anything to be scared of, but yeah, let’s do that.”
It took another thirty minutes for Minghao to prepare himself, though. He read over his application and essay again, handing it over to you afterward for a second look at it. When Seungcheol eventually entered the café for his shift, Minghao had him take a look at it, too.
Finally, you and Minghao were both ready with your submissions. You both had your cursors hovering over the submit button just before he slipped his free hand over yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“Ready?” he asked.
With the heat of a thousand suns burning your cheeks, you nodded eagerly.
You submitted your film.
It felt like a truckload of weight had been lifted off your shoulders, but the feeling of relief didn’t come without the slight unease. You looked over at Minghao, who had just submitted his and was being clapped on the back by Seungcheol, and you felt weird. You felt so incredibly proud of yourself, but another part of you couldn’t accept that it was over now.
“Hey,” Minghao said softly, grinning when your eyes met his. “We really did it.”
You sort of melted under his gaze, the corners of your mouth hitching up into a lovesick smile. “Yeah, we did.”
With that, his hand slipped out of yours to tell his mother about finishing the scholarship application, and you felt cold again.
Minghao offered to walk you home, but you could hardly hold a proper conversation with him; your head was a mess.
Maybe it was wrong for you to feel this way after your week of radio silence, but something about this felt so final. You were scared that once you reached your apartment, you would go back to the life you had before you reconnected with Minghao. As much as you told yourself that you were just overthinking, there was a nagging fear in the back of your head. Maybe it was from the high of submitting your project, but you felt a rush of adrenaline course through you.
You wanted to hold onto Minghao one more time and tell him how you felt.
It had been on your mind ever since you had your revelation yesterday, and sitting next to him in the café and pretending like you weren’t mad for him was nearly impossible. As you two trudged down the cobblestone street, your hands balled into the pockets of your coat, you realized that something along the lines of a confession was ready to burst through your lips. Minghao kept droning on about a holiday-exclusive drink that was coming to the café, but you couldn’t even listen to him properly without your brain screaming at you to tell him how you felt.
It was when he brought the conversation back to your documentary that you found the perfect opportunity to bring up the secret video he filmed.
“We must’ve filmed hours of content,” he was saying, throwing his head back and groaning at the mere thought. “I can’t believe you watched all of it—wait, did you watch all of it?”
“I did watch everything, Hao,” you said quietly.
“Hm? What was that?”
“I knew that the injeolmi toast was supposed to be heated up,” you blurted out. Minghao froze in his tracks and stared at you, wide-eyed, and normally this would’ve made you shy away immediately, but you wanted to be braver. You stopped walking too, and you raised your head to meet his eyes. “I thought you forgot to warm it up by accident, so I didn’t want to make you feel bad.”
At your sudden admission, Minghao was speechless, even more so when you continued in a breathless ramble, “And I want you to know that the only reason I chose this subject for my documentary was because of you; and I missed you all of last week because all I could think about was how you kissed me; and I really fucking hate summer, Hao, but you made me fall in love with the sun.”
“And… and I like you,” you confessed. “I liked you back in middle school, and I like you again now.”
Minghao’s jaw went slack as he searched your eyes, as if looking for a lie in your words, as if he could hardly believe that what you were telling him was real.
“Are you serious?” he asked quietly, almost scared that you would say no. He walked closer to you. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not!” Your courage threatened to falter, but you kept his gaze even as he reached out to hold your face with gentle hands. “I’ve never been this honest in my life.”
With a shuddering breath, he said, “You’re telling the truth.”
“Yeah, I—”
“Do you even know how long I’ve been waiting for this moment?” Although Minghao spoke in a murmur, your words died on your tongue the moment he started talking, especially after his eyes dropped to your lips.
You could only blink back at him in stunned silence.
“You were my first love, too,” he confessed.
His words struck you right in your chest. The winter bite no longer chilled you to the bone; if anything, a wildfire was ripping through your body. For a split second, you wondered if you were actually on fire, so you remained perfectly, unmovingly still until you realized that Minghao was waiting for you to answer.
You swallowed hard. “I was? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I guess I was scared it would ruin our friendship… but I didn’t do a very good job of salvaging it, anyway.” You could see the regret painted on his face, but then he steeled his nerves. “I don’t care if I don’t win the scholarship, Y/N—I mean, I sort of care—but no matter what happens, I’m happy just being with you.”
Your heart beamed.
Even days ago, the mention of your past with Minghao would’ve been a sore spot for you. Now, however, you didn’t want it to keep weighing you down like an anchor buried deep within the sand. Maybe you were both just stupid kids who didn’t know what to do with their feelings.
But all of that hardly mattered now that your souls found each other again. You weren’t ever someone who was big on the idea of destiny, but if there were stars out there that predetermined fate, they must have been shining for you and Minghao.
This time, you initiated. It was almost effortless how your arms found themselves circling around Minghao’s neck, drawing him closer to you. His eyes looked as if they were still in a dream, but after a few seconds, his gentle hands found your waist.
“I’m happy as long as I’m with you, too,” you said, your voice only loud enough for him to hear.
Minghao let out a breathless sort of laugh, almost like he was still in disbelief, and you smiled before pressing your lips to his. Compared to your first kiss, which was charged with lust and intoxication, this one was so loving and calm that you lost yourself in him so easily. He smiled into the kiss, and you couldn’t help yourself either once you felt his lips curve up against yours.
His hand found your chin, pulling away for a brief moment to take a good look at you. Let the high of your reciprocated feelings sink in. Your eyes flitted from Minghao’s lips to his twinkling eyes, your heart doing a series of backflips and spins when you saw his lips curl into a smirk.
“Yeah,” he said in a low voice, “I think I can get used to this.”
And when his lips found yours again, you were sure your souls touched, too.
(“So, are you gonna tell me if I’m objectively good-looking now?”
“Let it go, Hao.”)
EPILOGUE
Vernon scratched the back of his head. “I don’t know if I was tripping out, but I swear they just had us watch Kim Mingyu doing tricks on a skateboard for ten minutes straight.”
“I think that was an actual film.” Seungcheol looked through the pamphlet of student films that were being screened and read, “Kim Mingyu Does a Kickflip—yeah, that’s the one.”
“Whose bright idea was it to make us take Jun’s edibles?” Jeonghan, who was fitted in a formal suit and tie, complained as he slouched deeper in his seat. His eyes were a few shades too close to red to pass as sober, but he was at least able to function on his own. “This shit has to be laced with something.”
“This is your fault, dude,” Seungkwan replied, exasperated. He didn’t seem as faded as Jeonghan was, but he looked more like he had just woken up. “You told us this would be more fun if we got high!”
“Okay, and who listened to me?” He sat up to catch Seungkwan, Vernon, and Wonwoo’s guilty heads hanging shamefully. “Exactly.”
Yooyeon shot you a withering look. “They're stressing me out.”
It was the night of your film’s showcase. After you passed the class with flying colors, your professor recommended your documentary be screened during the showcase for all the film majors in your year. It was an annual event, but only a certain number of films were selected from the students. In short, this was big for you. You invited your friends, of course, although you were starting to regret it now that you had to put Seungcheol and Junhui in charge of babysitting them.
“Jeonghan, you really didn’t have to dress up like that,” you said once you noticed the contrast between his formal attire and Seungkwan’s sweater and jeans ensemble. “This isn’t even a formal event.”
Jeonghan leaned over Seungcheol to tell you, “This is important to me, okay?”
“Aw, Jeong—”
“I have to be the hottest one here.”
Alright, then.
“Jeonghan, remember what we’re actually here for,” Junhui prompted, motioning to the front of the theater.
You put a hand over your chest, touched. “Jun, you’re too sweet, I—”
“To see Minghao’s gorgeous face on the big screen,” he finished.
You decided you were going to let them finish their sentences from now on.
Minghao, who was sitting next to you and gripping your hand, raised your hands to press a kiss to each one of your knuckles. He saved his public displays of affection for rare occasions, such as your grand showcase.
You two had been dating for the past five months at this point. It wasn’t much of a surprise to any of your friends, but what did change was that Minghao spent a lot more time with your friend group now. (Sometimes you worried if they liked him more than you, but you weren’t one to vie for attention.) It was also safe to say that you two weren’t exactly out of the honeymoon phase yet. Your heart still fluttered whenever he did anything particularly sweet, and Minghao still went bright red whenever you were feeling a little bolder.
“I’m so proud of you,” he said, his voice tickling your skin. “You said your professor recommended submitting it to a film festival, right?”
“Mhm.” You grinned and used the hand he wasn’t holding to pinch his cheek lightly. “Your face could be seen by thousands.”
He laughed. “It’s really all about you, not—” Minghao paused when his phone buzzed from inside his pocket. You two exchanged a nervous look before he fumbled to pull it out. “I think it’s them.”
A week ago, the announcement of the scholarship recipient was supposed to be sent out. However, there was a complication that led to them postponing the results until today. You and Minghao had been on edge all week, but having to think about the outcome on the same day as your film showcase was nerve-wracking.
“It is them.” Minghao bit his lip when he saw the sender in his notifications. He looked over at you and squeezed your hand tighter. “I’m gonna open it now.”
With suspended breath, you tried to gauge his reaction as he opened the email. (It wasn’t very hard to read Xu Minghao’s expression when he wore his heart on his sleeve.) He took so long that you thought he was reading over each word twice, but then you watched as his expression morphed into one of pure astonishment.
“What is it?” you asked. “What does it say?”
“I…” He swallowed thickly. “I got it.” He turned to you again, mouth twitching into a grin. “I actually got it!”
Your life had been going so smoothly recently that the scholarship results had been plaguing your thoughts for the past few weeks. You didn’t have to worry about your project anymore, so saving the café and getting Minghao his chance to compete had been weighing heavily on your mind.
Now, though, upon hearing those words and seeing his eyes light up, you felt like you were glowing yourself. They selected Minghao, and they watched your film. Your work was going to save his mom’s café. It was going to let him keep chasing his dreams.
You let out a yelp so loud that dozens of heads turned in your direction, but you didn’t mind any of them as soon as you reached over your armrest to tackle Minghao into a hug. He wrapped his arms around you tightly and pressed a kiss to your temple.
“I knew they’d pick you,” you told him. “There’s no one else who deserves it more.”
“It’s seriously all because of you,” he said. When you pulled apart, Minghao looked absolutely winded from being so overjoyed. “I have to tell my mom as soon as we get home. She’s gonna be so happy that we get to keep the café running.”
Jeonghan, who was brazenly eavesdropping, patted Seungcheol firmly on the chest. “Hear that? You just got saved from unemployment.” He reached over Seungcheol (again) to dap up Minghao.
You felt someone tap your shoulder from behind, and you craned your neck around to see your professor gesturing for you to go up on stage. That was your cue to introduce your film, and you gulped down the bundle of nerves that rose up your throat.
Yooyeon squeezed your shoulder as you were getting up. Shakily, you straightened up, smiling weakly when your friends started cheering obnoxiously loud for you. Minghao caught your wrist before you walked to the front and gave you a reassuring squeeze that managed to calm your jittery hands.
You recognized a lot of your friends from your classes, so it wasn’t as scary as you thought it would be, but you were hopeful that the unfamiliar faces would be cheering for you by the time they saw your documentary.
“We know her!” Jeonghan and Seungkwan were screaming from the top, pointing you out to every stranger in their vicinity. “That’s our friend!”
At the right wing of the stage, you were handed a mic and instructed to walk out to the center. You had never been in front of a crowd this huge, but seeing your friends in the seats melted away whatever fears were holding you back.
“Thank you everyone for coming out today,” you spoke into the mic, smiling when it resounded throughout the grand auditorium. “My name’s Y/N, and I’m so excited to share my documentary: The Xu Minghao Dilemma.”
TAG LIST ▸ if you made it all the way here, thank you so much for reading!!! i hope you enjoyed xu minghao's dilemma 💗 first and foremost, this was written for @junyangis so shoutout my film major inspo. i tried to emulate the film student experience to the best of my ability so i hope it delivers 🙏 also you might notice the banner has jeonghan as the writer which sort of sounds misleading but it's because he was the one orchestrating everything between mc and minghao, so i thought it was fitting :') first fic of 2025, yay!! i hope to share more of my works with you this year & sending my love to everyone reading this right now ♡ thank you to everyone who asked to be part of the tag list as well !! 🫂
TAG LIST ▸ @jenoentry @wonudazed @aaniag @ily-cuz-i @fancypeacepersona @tokitosun @jeonnyread @reiofsuns2001 @markleeloveletter @dawn-iscozy @fennecnco @kookiedesi @nijisanjigenshin @xylatox @cookiearmy @nightshadeblooming @sillyuin @outrologist @flowerrpwrr @melonacco @sknyuz @enhasrii @skzdesi
#svt scenarios#seventeen scenarios#minghao fluff#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen#seventeen x reader#xu minghao#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#minghao imagines#minghao scenarios#svt soft hours#seventeen soft hours
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Chapter 14 - Proposal
John came trudging down the stairs, hair scruffy, face contorted from the light which instantly hurt his sorry head. He was getting too old to go out late at night and drink like that.
Sherlock was sitting in his leather chair, reading. “How are you feeling, John?”
“A bit rough. Sorry about that,” John moaned in reply. He walked over and flopped into his comfortable chair opposite.
“Not your fault,” Sherlock replied, not even looking up from his book. “I may have moved too quickly.”
John sat staring at his friend. Did he mean the drinks or something else? It was an odd turn of phrase to use. Last night had been peculiar to say the least. John hadn’t consumed so much beer in a short space of time in… well he couldn’t think how long it had been. Certainly never on an empty stomach, in any case, and he was incredibly embarrassed with his behaviour. Had he… sniffed Sherlock’s coat? He’d definitely said something stupid, or a few things, although the memory of it was very foggy. The combination of being found in his underwear and then getting drunk on a few beers and… god they danced? They bloody danced. What kind of a messed up night was that? He rubbed his hands over his face, trying to gain some semblance of sanity, to wake up a bit and then finally looked at Sherlock properly.
He was fully dressed. He looked showered and dressed, in fact. One of his nice black suits and a crisp white shirt, just open enough to show off his collar bones and suddenly John’s eyes couldn’t look anywhere else and it startled him. He blinked a few times, taking in his flatmate. His hair looked particularly good and he just looked healthy and relaxed in general. Refreshed even.
“You look very put together,” he heard himself say, before he could stop the words tumbling out.
Sherlock closed his book and placed it on his lap, sitting a little straighter.
“I have a proposal, John. For you.”
“A what?!” John nearly swallowed his own tongue. His eyes had blown wide and he was very confused.
“There’s a new case. My brother wants me to look into something and I’d like you to come with me.” Sherlock was watching John carefully.
John let out a heavy sigh of relief. God, he needed coffee. His brain wasn’t alert enough yet to wade through Sherlock’s cryptic ways. The word proposal had most definitely terrified him instantly. “Another one? We only just had a break,” John said as he sighed heavily.
“What’s that expression? When it rains it pours?” Sherlock offered with a smirk.
“Right. Why do you look nervous then? You never look nervous when there’s a case on,” John asked, eyeing him suspiciously. When Sherlock didn’t respond, John continued on. “I usually come with you. Don’t I? Why is this one any different?”
“It’s in Belgium,” he said carefully.
“Belgium?!” John was surprised. They rarely travelled outside the country.
“Yes. An old friend of Mycroft’s had a theft from his estate in Brussels and asked for me to come. I have a suspicion it’s not as interesting as they’ve led me to believe but they booked us a first class train fare themselves so I thought a couple of days in Brussels wouldn’t be so terrible.”
“And you want me to come - even though you’ve already surmised it’s not worth your time?” John’s senses tingled. Something wasn’t right.
“Well, I’d be lost without my blogger,” he teased. “Might as well pass the time with company.”
“I see.” John didn’t really see. This was all highly irregular. “What’s Mycroft holding over you then?”
Sherlock gasped, a dramatic overreaction to John’s words with an open mouthed gape.
“I can’t see why you would give this the time of day otherwise,” John added in explanation.
“Boredom is a cruel mistress, John. All my poorest decisions have come about thanks to boredom. We have no other cases waiting. I thought it might be… fun?” He tried the word out and then frowned.
“Fun?” John looked confused by that word passing Sherlock’s lips too.
Sherlock stood up, lifting the book from his lap and taking it over to return it to his shelves. Even John knew it was a diversionary tactic. Sherlock never said the wrong thing. He was very deliberate in his communications - be they kind or biting. He always meant it. Fun, was a word John had never heard as justification for Sherlock Holmes doing anything. And Sherlock knew it too. John felt responsible for the slightly awkward mood between them, so he tried to think of a way to reassure his friend. They were supposed to be moving on from yesterday.
“What time do we leave?” he asked.
Sherlock turned from the bookshelf, looking grateful for the redirect.
“Eleven.”
“Right then,” John said, slapping the arms of his chair before standing up. “Coffee is going to be required and a shower.”
Sherlock looked a bit uncertain. “Are you… really okay with this?”
“The game is on, Sherlock Holmes. And I follow where you go,” he said brightly, straightening his shoulders. “I’ll go up and throw a few things together and have a shower. If you make me a strong coffee and some toast? So we aren’t late?” John suggested.
Sherlock smiled ever so slightly. “Those terms are acceptable.”
“Good. I’ll meet you in the kitchen shortly,” he said with a nod and took himself back up to his room. He had an overnight bag for just these types of occasions in the top of his cupboard. It was common for them to head to the far north or the south just for a day or two. John had a standard few outfits he threw in for such occasions, he was predictable like that. Boring, John. You’re boring. Sherlock hates predictable. Maybe you should throw in a curve ball? Something new. He looked through his wardrobe and smiled, adding something different to the mix. He added a pair of nice shoes too. He even had a toiletries bag set up with what he needed already waiting in his cupboard so he grabbed that as well and he threw his coat on top of it all.
Then, he grabbed something comfortable to wear for the train and brought himself down to the bathroom. As he passed the kitchen, Sherlock was happily sorting the toast and coffee, and he was humming away to himself. Humming? John was struck by it. He wasn’t sure he’d heard Sherlock hum before. Occasionally when he was playing his violin, or writing music as he played, making adjustments. But humming for the sake of humming - while doing other tasks? Never. Despite all of the mess of yesterday, Sherlock was in good spirits. John wished he could let things go that easily, and just enjoy each day as a fresh, new start. He had never been good at that.
He showered quickly, and dressed, eager to get to the coffee, but also to get out to Sherlock which surprised him. It felt like something had shifted last night, and John wasn’t even sure what that might be, but he was eager to be close to him, to hear about the case, to tease out more information from his flatmate.
When he finally came out, Sherlock was seated at the kitchen table. He had actually scrambled some eggs as well and had a whole pot of the fancy filtered coffee brewed in the middle of the table. He was reading the newspaper, the pages sprawled across half the table, and was nibbling on a piece of toast, seemingly oblivious to John’s arrival.
“Wow. Eggs as well. And… you’re eating?” he asked, looking surprised.
“Occasionally I’ve been known to,” he quipped without registering John at all, continuing to read, or at least pretending to read.
John sat down and poured himself a coffee. “Well, in any case, thank you. I certainly need this and I didn’t have the energy.”
“My pleasure. I’m not always the difficult flatmate,” he commented.
John stopped with his mug halfway to his mouth and put it down again. “Sherlock.” He tilted his head in disapproval. “I don’t think that.”
Sherlock still remained focused on the paper so John reached out and put his hand on the paper, flattening it to the table and leaning forward to catch his eye. “I don’t think that,” he repeated. Sherlock maintained his gaze for a moment before returning his piece of toast to the plate and grabbing his knife and fork to eat, busying himself so he didn’t have to make a fuss.
John watched him for a moment before grabbing his own cutlery. “I know I don’t say it. But… living here… with you, Sherlock. It’s the greatest privilege. Getting to be your offsider on the cases, having a… a friend in my life I can rely on. It’s… well, it means a great deal more to me than I probably have the words to explain to you. At least, to do it justice,” he admitted. “I should tell you more often and I regret the things I said last night. You’re my friend. You’re my best friend. And you’re not difficult.” He paused, letting the words settle in the air between them. Sherlock had paused his cutlery and was staring at his plate, unmoving. The words had caught him by surprise and even John hadn’t expected them to come out.
“I had no idea I could be so poetic with a hangover,” he finally joked, to break the tension.
Sherlock, scoffed and continued to focus on his eggs in silence. After a few more minutes eating silently he finally looked up at John. “Thank you,” he said, surprising John. He also looked up and they held each other’s attention for a moment.
“Not a problem,” John said. “We don’t need fanfares, Sherlock. We just are. We’re Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.” He smiled and Sherlock’s face changed to an odd expression that John couldn’t read all of a sudden. He opened his mouth to say something and then reverted back to eating.
John watched him a bit longer, in case the thought came back, but he didn’t come back to it, so they remained in silence for a time.
Eventually, Sherlock, obviously feeling like it was the time for meaningful conversation, looked up at John. “Why do you…” He hesitated and grabbed his coffee, to sip at it nervously. “Last night. The man on the street that bothered you… Why do you always engage with that nonsense?”
“Why don’t you?” John asked, watching Sherlock closely.
“They don’t know us. They know nothing about us. What they think of us matters not to me, John. The only opinions I care about, are yours and… Well, that’s pretty much it, actually. Perhaps Mrs Hudson, depending on the moment. My parents, obviously, but they often misunderstand me, as does my brother. So long as I keep your good opinion, I can carry on with most things,” Sherlock said simply. As if that should be obvious. As if saying it meant nothing.
“Well,” John sighed in disbelief. “I feel the same.”
“Exactly. So what point is there arguing with some stranger who knows nothing about what I’ve been through in my life, or you in yours, or what we go through collectively together in our work and our day to day lives? You always have to correct people. Even people close to us, who know perfectly well we aren’t a couple and are only teasing. You never miss a moment correcting them, though. Don’t you think it only draw attention to the very thing you are trying to push away.”
John’s brow furrowed. “It bothers you? That I correct people, when they’re wrong?” John asked. “You love to correct people, Sherlock. I didn’t realise it would bother you.”
Sherlock stood to collect up their plates. “I just wondered why you felt the need. That’s all.”
“Well, because, it isn’t true. I’m not your boyfriend. We’re not… you know… it’s just incorrect information.” John was slightly put out that he was justifying something which made sense in his own head. “You’re a public figure.”
“And?” Sherlock asked.
“And, they should get their information right,” John said with a self-satisfied nod, finishing his coffee.
“You have an issue, John. With homosexuals,” Sherlock stated, placing the dishes in the sink and keeping his back to John, so he could say what he wanted to say.
“No, I don’t.” John was offended by the statement, and he sat up straighter, his hackles up immediately.
“I think you do. Between all of that correcting, and all the anger you seem to have over this last case,” he commented.
“What do you mean?” John was suddenly very perturbed by this line of conversation. Sherlock turned around at the sink. “You’ve been having feelings, opinions about this victim - the fact that he married a man. It bothered you. Why?”
John stood up, to bring his mug over, and to get rid of the nervous energy now coursing through him from Sherlock’s questions. “I… It’s just…”
“When we met,” Sherlock jumped in to say, “and you grilled me about my person circumstances—“
“Would we call that a grilling? When you didn’t answer anything properly?”
“I certainly would. You had a lot of questions for a first day together.”
“You were being awfully mysterious.”
“I don’t like to share.”
“And I have trust issues. I’m sure your brother passed on his reports. I need to know things.”
“But why was my… sexual proclivities… relevant to your living arrangement?”
“I just wanted to know if… you know, you would be coming and going with partners, or if… I don’t know really. I was making conversation, just curious?” he offered.
Sherlock raised an eyebrow. “And at the time you said it was all okay. That everything was fine. But what if I had said I was… gay? What if I had confirmed that for you?”
John shuffled his feet uncomfortably. “Well, then I’d have known. And…”
“And you… never actually reciprocated. You didn’t tell me anything about yourself,” Sherlock pointed out.
“It’s only reciprocating if you provide an answer too, isn’t it?”
“John.” Sherlock warned him. He wasn’t letting this go. And John was being deliberately stubborn.
“Well you said so yourself. I’m not gay. I spend a lot of time telling people I’m not gay.”
“You really do. What’s that thing Queen Gertrude says in Hamlet: methinks the lady doth protest too much?”
“You think I’m gay?” John scoffed, slightly horrified.
“No. I’m just… asking,” Sherlock said gently. “Just as you tried to.”
John frowned and looked at his watch nervously. “I don’t really see why this is so important right now.”
“I’m just… making conversation with my flatmate, as were you. There’s nothing strange about that, is there? Or so you say. You’re a very closed book, John.”
John sighed and leaned back against the counter now as well, rubbing a hand over his face. He kept a safe distance from Sherlock, but felt very acutely that his flatmate was trying to gleen information, and perhaps repair some of the mess of the day before. “Look, I just don’t… feel comfortable. With any of it, okay?” he finally admitted. “I come from a catholic upbringing, and I had two very conservative parents who tortured my sister into running away because she brought a girl home one day and mum caught them kissing. It was like they had found out she murdered a bloody priest. Honest to god. And back then… you know, things weren’t as free and open as they are now. I just learned to keep my business to myself. Am I gay? No. That is accurate. It doesn’t describe me. When I say that, it is accurate,” John sighed. He already felt a blush rising up his neck as the words were coming out of him. “But have I been with men? Yes, casually. I don’t believe anyone is just so black and white are they? There’s grey areas for most people. The Kinsey scale and all that? I have some grey areas, okay? But I don’t like to talk about it. And it’s nobody’s business but my own. I choose not to make it public. And now, living with you, apparently people can’t handle two grown men living together without it being sexual. It irritates the hell out of me. I don’t want you thinking at any moment I’m planning to jump you. You’re my friend and I don’t want anything to ruin that. It’s the first time in my life I’ve had a proper friend. So yes, I’m jumpy about it. I don’t want you thinking it’s true.” He sighed and paced the kitchen floor to get rid of the adrenaline after all that confessing. “And as for the married man? The dead married man?” He stopped pacing to look at Sherlock. “I suppose, I’m a bit… jealous.”
“Jealous?” Sherlock was genuinely surprised by that answer.
“Yes. He just… did that. He wanted to marry a woman so he did and then he decided to also marry a man and so he did. And it was legal - aside from the whole polygamy part, but in essence he was allowed to marry that man. And growing up, that wasn’t even an option.” “John, homosexuality has been legal since the 1960s here,” Sherlock said calmly.
“But marriage, Sherlock, marriage hasn’t been, until so recently. It’s something I just decided was not happening and it made me angry that not only was he allowed to do it, but he flaunted it by also marrying three woman and just ruining all of their lives. It’s infuriating. Think of all the men who had been desperate to marry and haven’t been able to.” John’s voice wavered. “One of my very good friends from my time in Afghanistan lost his partner before marriage was decriminalised and it… still enrages me.”
“Oh. John, I had… I had no idea. I’m sorry. I most definitely misunderstood your thoughts on this.” Sherlock seemed genuine. “You were so uncomfortable in the club. Last night. I thought….”
“What? You mean, seeing my very best friend, who has never explicitly explained to me where he falls on that line, took me to a gay club and for all intents and purposes flirted with a very young barman, in front of me, and then behaved in a very confusing manner all round. You’re wondering why I was a bit uncomfortable?”
Sherlock sighed. “Perhaps I could have handled that better.”
“Sherlock, I’m proud to be your friend. I should be so lucky to be able to date someone like you, if I ever felt comfortable enough to do so in public. You’re the most fantastic human I know.” He turned to look at Sherlock, square on. “Those emotions, those issues you’re picking up on? They aren’t about you. They aren’t about me discriminating about you. They are wholly about my upbringing and my issues with my own identity. I’m not ready to be all public and confident - whether it’s real or imagined.” John reached out and touched Sherlock’s arm. “You’re my best friend. The very best.”
Sherlock gave a half smile and looked at his feet uncomfortably. “Thank you. For telling me all of that.”
“I’m sorry, I’ve been upsetting you, by keeping it to myself. It wasn’t my intention. Some days I’m just trying to get from start to finish and I don’t think about it, but other days it’s an all consuming mess in my head.”
“You still seeing your therapist?” Sherlock asked gently.
“I am.”
“Good.”
“Are we… okay?” John asked, suddenly feeling incredibly uncomfortable.
“Yes. Of course.” Sherlock gave him a reassuring nod. They stood together awkwardly in silence for a moment, though.
“Shall I… call for a cab?” John suggested.
“Please,” Sherlock said with a smile. “Half an hour? I’ll just clean these dishes up and grab my things.”
“Okay.” John left the kitchen and grabbed his phone, walking up to collect his bag. He sat on the bed and let out a huge long sigh. God, that was a mess. What was that about?
Sherlock, meanwhile, stood in the kitchen, staring at the floor for the longest time. This just got far messier than I had even predicted.
——-
The two of them sat in the cab in complete silence. The awkward moments between them apparently a new and uncomfortable part of their friendship which John was not thrilled about. This time, John didn’t try to make conversation. And Sherlock didn’t have anything to utter either. John’s mind was working overtime though. All of the thoughts that had bothered him all week, in his own head, in his own stupid brain… and now Sherlock had called out most of them. Out loud. In the bloody kitchen over breakfast clean up, no less. Things John never wanted to say aloud. In a way, he felt better that he had said them. Maybe Sherlock could understand him better. For what purpose, he had no idea. He couldn’t understand how it would help, but Sherlock had seemed slightly relieved? Or at least less annoyed.
“Got the tickets?” John asked suddenly, out of habit. He was annoyed that he had been the one to break the standoff. Probably too late to check anyway, if Sherlock had forgotten them. But Sherlock never forgot them. He never forgot anything. That bloody mind palace. One of the very reasons John kept some of his opinions and thoughts to himself - certainly the more personal ones. No matter, now Sherlock could lock some nice personal new information into that mind palace to bring up later at a time that would embarrass John appropriately, for sure.
“Mmmm,” was all Sherlock replied to him with.
John nodded and went back to observing the scenery.
When they arrived at the station, Sherlock paid the cab and jumped out without a word, already starting his big strides towards St Pancras. John, as usual, had to leg it around the back of the cab and jog up the steps to keep up. But he didn’t argue. He didn’t shout. He just followed. John always followed Sherlock, wherever the detective led. And therein lay the danger.
——
Sorry these have been a bit late the last couple of days! I’m still making it before the end of the day at my end - just!!! I’m impressed with myself that I am still going. Thank you everyone for the lovely comments - it spurs me on to write the next chapter for you all!!
@lisbeth-kk @helloliriels @totallysilvergirl @221beloved @safedistancefrombeingsmart
@givemesherbet-blog-blog @naefelldaurk @a-victorian-girl @phoenix27884 @peanitbear
@starlitkeys @lumilama @yorkiepug @talkativeanxiousturtle @kettykika78
@kittenmadnessandtea @whatnext2020 @egregiously-chuffed @chriscalledmesweetie @catlock-holmes
@battledress @kholkate @randomquadballpun @little-owls-things @daltongraham
@sillygirlsmindpalace @oetkb12 @odditiesandeverything @johnlockficclub @rainstarboii @bheadhe
@hospitableasacactus @wssh13 @br-nz @solarmama-plantsareneat @givemesherbet-blog-blog
@dw91165 @pileofstardust2106 @moonkeller @surprisinglyokay @r4venlyn
@therealalexisamess-blog @e-b1838 @rhasima @salmonsown @tropelovingpainter
@westandforships @fuck-off-watson-rp @notjustamumj @marta-bee @melodious-me
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The egg task hater post :D
Comprised into 3 parts of the problems, the lore aspects and solutions because I just want them gone. Especially when it makes so much sense for them to be gone by now.
Problems with egg tasks ————
- A majority of the ccs hate the egg tasks. Foolish has mentioned it multiple times, Fit mentioned it specifically after purgatory due to him seeing it as an opportunity to get rid of them, Tubbo often would have procrastinated them and a lot of others procrastinate them or express that they just don’t want to do them. (I’m not very active on other POVs so if you have other example please add them)
- The ccs don’t log on to do the tasks and some don’t even know about them. They log on to have fun and play mc. Like take a look at Pepito’s parents(apart from Roier, I don’t think any of the others are aware of the egg task system, so are logging on to have fun).
- Single parents and looking after multiple eggs. They rarely ever know what to do with them, Foolish counts for one cookie but because of the inconsistency of Pepito’s parents he doesn’t get double the cookie stuff. Where as Phil almost always has to request the double stuff for Tallulah and Chayanne.
- Egg admins are busy. Multiple have irl stuff they need to do, like school, work or even attending hospital appointments. This has even made some of the old main egg admins like Ramon and Chayanne have to give up playing due to being so busy. Even at that it’s fairly obvious when another admin is playing a different egg because the personality isn’t the same, which isn’t a big deal until they mess up personal egg lore. That’s excluding their problems with lag or internet.
- The cc parents are busy. Majority of them are variety streamers or have projects outside of qsmp. They cannot always log in to play and are subject to outside factors like having to move, travelling, internet outages, launcher breaks or even sponsorships contracts (which might mean they can’t play for long due to having set contracted times where they have to do something else)
- Some of the stuff is hard or impossible to do. Take toxic caves; one glitchy mob and an egg with internet/lag problems will almost instantly be in danger. The parents having to do tasks with the eggs; again some eggs are busy and not all eggs will just hang out with whoever. For the current system specifically they need to include tasks the parents can do alone for some of the eggs to survive.
Lore/in game stuff ————
- Everyone knows that the egg tasks do not matter especially after purgatory which just means that it was the fed doing the killing when eggs didn’t complete their tasks. They even expected them to be gone after purgatory.
- The reason the parents don’t do anything about it is because they’ve expressed their dislike of egg tasks; yet it is such an integral part of the game play that they have no control over since the admins rarely ask them about it. So they just suck it up and deal with the fact that egg tasks are still around. They’re not really aware if they can go to Cucurucho about the egg tasks because it is really just a game mechanic.
- From my understanding, the competition part of the eggs is no longer the case due to the fact they all should have lost a long time ago. So why would they need to be so aware of if the eggs are surviving or are happy. Especially when the fed are very aware of most things that happen on the island with the eggs.
Solutions!!! ————
- Get rid of them. We did fine without them for a few weeks. Without them we eggs get more chance to develop and have actual fun with the cc. Plus the cc doesn’t have the added stress of needing to log in to make sure an egg doesn’t die. They could even just get rid of them by some fed excuse like them going bankrupt with cookie materials.
- Make them optional!!! Instead of cookies or food tickets being the reward just make it something egg related or make it something like tickets for egg cosmetics. They could even make it the reward for things that the parents might want like items in the shop or access to the mod access. By making them optional takes away the stress but still gives them the chance to do something with the egg to keep them happy.
- Instruct a cc that hates the egg tasks how to get rid of them in lore. The admins should get someone like Foolish or Tubbo who know how to manipulate information to speak with Cucurucho to get rid of them. Or get the players to investigate the cookies. They could even get the morning crew to revolutionise against the egg tasks and have them mess with the server to unionise against the egg tasks.
- Make it time based, like the egg spends under an hour with a person during that week. The egg gets to choose the person too and it can be anyone. It’s under an hour so the egg or parent doesn’t need to log on for a long amount of time if they are busy during the week.
————
Anyway that’s my case against egg tasks. If I am missing something or think of other solutions then I will edit it into the post. But thanks for reading my /negs posts because I’ll be an egg task hater for life 😀✌️
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#this was on queue#qsmp#qsmp discussion#idk if this is neg specifically but tags are here just in case#qsmp discourse#qsmp neg
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#259
“Seth? Right? C’mon in. Your brother told you who I am? Good. Want a beer?... Here you go. Let’s go out to the back deck. The sun went down, and the cool evening air is starting to kick in. Have a seat…. Ok. Seth, do you know why you are here? Let me be blunt. Your brother David owes me a lot of money. A lot. He’s been doing jobs for me that I need someone I can trust to do. But that’s barely covering the interest. I told him he needs to start working down the principal. So, he offered me… you….
“That’s right he sold you to me. You are going to whore off his debt…. Shut the fuck up. The deal is set. Have some more beer; it will help you to deal with what I need to go over with you….
“Your brother probably told you that I am a powerful man. Hopefully he didn’t tell you what I did. I will share with you one part of my business that you will be a part of. I have several whore agencies across several states. They ain’t like the whorehouses in the movies. The girls never see money; they show up at a set time and do whatever the man wants. They do not say no. They get to live in city, and they show their clients the best the city has to offer. They have everything paid for and get a nice credit card too.
“A few years ago—hell it’s more like ten or so, —I was convinced to do the same but on the fag side. Now, I knew nothing about fag sex, and it disgusted me. Once I got over the visuals, the business was just like the girls. The difference I found out was that I had to have two sets of whores—fag boys like yourself, and men old enough to be your father.
“It was Frankie, one of my goons, who told me that there is a lot money to be made by men taking the dominant role. I didn’t believe it. So, he arranged for me to watch him from a distance him work over this faggot. He didn’t tell me how much he was earning. When I saw this fag hand over three hundred bucks, I knew I needed to get into this. I mean my guy did barely anything other than smack the fag around, call him names, and sit on the faggot’s face at the end. That fag ate that fat ass while pounding its pud. Frankie even went over to the fag’s wallet and took an additional hundred out of it. And wouldn’t you know, that fag boy was loving life.
“Needless to say, that was how I got into the fag whoring business. I had Frankie lead it; he even got somewhat in shape, and now he’s my most popular whore men. Wait a minute, you know him. He fucked you behind a dumpster in the alley behind that fag bar a couple weeks ago. When I saw you at David’s birthday partner at my tavern and he told me that you were his sperm burping brother, I sent Frankie to find out more about you. I know that you can take a good pounding, face slaps, rough housing. Frankie also told me that you cleaned off his cock after we was done and that you drank his piss. You even begged him for more as he walked away from you, naked covered in piss behind the dumpster. That’s all I needed to hear.
“After meeting with your brother, all I had to do was press the massive debt. I knew how self-serving he was. He sold you out so fucking fast. And now I own you. Now strip faggot….
“You do realize who I am? No one ever disobeys one of my direct commands. Now think about your next move real carefully. STRIP YOU FUCKING FAGGOT. Take your time standing up. That drug I put in your beer will make you kinda dizzy if you stand too fast. Yeah, I didn’t want you to run back to your car. Kid, when you came in that door, you were mine. That’s it. Accept your fate. Good boy.
“Yeah, after Frankie roughed up that fag, I was curious. He arranged for me to use one of his regulars who was blindfolded. It was so much fun to kick and punch that faggot only to have him crawl to me, begging for more. With each time, I got more wicked, and they wanted more. I had a few fags over the years locked up and had the best of all worlds. My wife provides me with companionship. My girlfriend offers sensual making love and snuggling. And my faggot takes all my rage filled abuse.
“Underwear needs to go too. Let’s see what you have. Not bad. Looks like you are excited about being naked in front of me. That’s a lot of pre-cum. Decent sized balls. I’d say you are about six inches long. The shaft is a bit thin, but the head is good size. Your foreskin is not too long. That’s good. If there’s going to be one sweaty stinky dick around here, it will be mine. If yours becomes a problem, we’ll get you circumcised.
“What? Faggot, you are nothing more to me than my pickup. If I want to modify you out, I sure as hell am going to. I modify all my property. Tattoos, piercing, permanent hair removal, castration, branding, and so on. But actually, I am a bit cautious. I made the mistake of castrating a fag and regretted it afterwards. He just didn’t seem right to me. The cutter I went to tried to put in fake balls, but it still didn’t seem right. I ended up replacing that fag with another.
“I am looking for my perfect fag. I’m planning on letting my girlfriend go, but sometimes I need that close touch. Not going to do that with my wife. Every day now I realize that I want to be with faggots over women. Faggots are so much easier to mold into what I want. And every now and then I might snuggle with one.
“I like what I see. I want to see your cumload. Jerk off for me. I’ll give you a few minutes to do so. When you do, shoot in your spare hand. I want to see the quantity. I’m going to get your collar; it’s probably done charging. I’m also going to take your car keys. You ain’t going anywhere. Continue jacking….
“….Did you cum? You did! Good fag. When was the last time you came? Yesterday morning? Well that’s a good load. Here, lock this collar around your neck. Ok, so here’s the deal. You can jack off as often as you like, whenever you like as long as I am not using you. If I catch you jacking off, don’t stop. If you are watching porn, continue. But know this, no matter if you haven’t cum in days or you just had a massive orgasm, should I require your use, I fully expect 100% horniness and enthusiasm.
“This remote is hooked up to your collar. With this button… you fall to the floor just like that. Hurt’s like a mother fucker hunh? That’s on low. Remember that. It is also set up to shock you should you cross a 20-foot perimeter of the house. I am notified by an app on my phone when you do something that stupid. Also, the garage and my office on the third floor are completely off limits. You will not fare well should you cross that threshold without me.
“Bring your cock over here. Is your dick head sensitive. It is! Fuck yes! As you get soft, it’s driving you crazy. Good. Good. I see a problem here. Your pubic hair is all over the place. You shouldn’t have hair down here. Look how long this hair is. There’s enough so that I can twirl a bunch around my finger. With a firm yank,… it comes out in one clump. Aww shut the fuck up. Most of the time your screams of pain will turn me on, but now it’s just annoying. Another clump on the other side, and it doesn’t even look like you lost any.
“Look at me faggot. Say ‘Thank you.’ Good fag. Open your mouth. Here eat your pubic hair. Go on chew it. Nasty? I know, now swallow. And here’s… another bunch. Swallow these…. And these… And these… You’ll be permanently shaved in the near future so you won’t have to do much pubic hair eating.
“While you finish your snack, let me take you around the place and show you your duties. This is the kitchen. David told me that you went to culinary school but then dropped out. Well, you will be doing all the cooking here. Cleaning too.
“Let’s go downstairs…. This is your room, although you really don’t have privacy. Over there is your cot. Next to it is the plug you will put into your collar every night. I am notified on my app should the power level drop below 75%. That’s equivalent for not charging for a full week. Unless I just slam you with shocks, I should never get one of those notifications.
“You have a wash basin there, and your toilet is there. There’s your douche hose over there in the shower. No, I haven’t gotten around to buying it a toilet seat; the cold porcelain is fine. And I haven’t hooked up the hot water down here.
“Let’s go up to the Master bedroom…. You never climb into my bed unless I invite you in. In fact no non-sexual furniture for you either without permission. Through that door is the master bath. You will keep this place spotless. That includes licking clean my toilet. The rimseat next to it is when I want to make you toilet paper or a full toilet.
“And here’s the playroom. It’s totally soundproofed. You are going to suffer a lot in here. Screaming is encouraged. In fact, what time is it? Seven. Well we might as well start now. Get on all fours—knees and elbows. Spread those knees wide. Every night you will present yourself in this position, as you will every morning.
“Don’t get too excited. I am going to fuck you good, long, and deep. But that won’t until the end. We got a long way to go. You see, the only people who knows my affinity for preferring the boys to the girls are Frankie, me, and now you. Your brother thinks I’m adding you to my harem of fags. This is something that cannot get out. And if it does, I will know it came from you, and I want you to know the perpetual hell that will come your way.
“Tonight is a test of what you can expect, but keep in mind, tonight’s suffering will be only five hours long, much shorter than what will be if my preference is ever widely known.
“And after the paddling your ass to a welted mess, whipping your back until it turns to bloody hamburger, kicking your balls until they are swollen to twice their size, bruising up your face, and fucking you with very little lube, I may feel the need to snuggle up with you afterwards.
“But first, there’s a lot to do before we do that. Oh look your balls are just ripe for a good old fashioned full-force kick. Every night and every morning you will get one to always remind you what you are.
“Faggot right now with this kick your hell begins.”
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angel | kuroo tetsurou
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summary: the only thing that came to mind when you heard the word angel, was your crushes ex girlfriend. so what do you do when suddenly you’re the angel or how a book can bring two people together
pairing: college!kuroo tetsurou x fem!reader
genre: smut, a lotta plot tho, basically pwp
word count: 7.9k
warnings: dom!kuroo, fingering, oral fem! receiving, praise, both being extremly needy, it’s not really kinky, slight breeding kink tho, a few spanks, vaginal penetration
authors note: pls don’t even ask about the book thing, this entire thing is based of one of my dreams and i had no idea why the book appeared, but it did and i didn’t wanna leave it out soooo, ye<3 here’s a link to my masterlist
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you sighed, as you continued typing your essay. maybe coming to the coffee shop was not the best idea you had, since it was friday and apparently every college student on campus decided it was coffee time after their lecture, but you didn’t expect it to be so overflown with people.
sitting at the far back, you realized that you were not going to get any work done with how loud everyone around you was being, so you just sat back and observed the people around you, while drinking the cheap coffee you ordered earlier. observing and analyzing the behavior of those around you always came natural to you. some guy watching his girlfriend as she was deciding what to order, even though she was taking way too long, with love. a friend group of a few pretty girls walking past a table full of sexist pigs who thought the only way to get their attention was by whistling after them as if they were dogs. and your crush looking at you.
wait.
huh?
quickly averting your eyes back to your laptop, you could feel your heart rate pick up to an unnatural speed. pretending to suddenly be terribly busy with drinking coffee, a million thoughts ran through your head. you were quite positive that you’ve seen his girlfriend sitting right next to him, so why was he staring so intensely at you?
it’s not as if you never talked. kuroo tetsurou was easily the most interesting person you have ever had the pleasure of having intellectual conversations with. you were taking some business classes in your third semester, since you thought they would be of value for your future. that’s where you met him. kuroo sat next to you since the first day of the lecture but you were way too intimidated by his attractiveness to start the first real conversation beyond greetings, so when the opportunity had arisen, you snatched it right away.
after one of the lectures, he left his phone on the desk and since he was already gone, you took it and hurried after him. just as he was leaving through the huge main doors of your university, you caught up to him and grabbed his arm. embarrassingly, not being the most athletic made you look like a creep as kuroo directed his confused stare at your form, hunched over, breathing hard but still latching onto his arm.
“uh, hi? y/n, right?”, the tall boys’ confusion lightly seeped into his questioning tone as his eyes moved between you and the hand you used to hold him back from walking further.
taking one last deep breath, you forced yourself to stand up right and look into his eyes, but oh, what mistake that was. funnily enough, you never actually looked directly into his eyes, so you didn’t expect to suddenly have to divert all your focus on trying to keep the gasp, you wanted to let out, in your throat. in your memories, from the milliseconds you had the courage to look into his eyes when he greeted you, his eyes were brown but all at once you were confronted with the most beautiful hazel eyes you have ever seen.
as a consequence of having to put all your mental capacity on not gasping out loud or even worse, admitting how attractive he was, the words that came out of your mouth only furthered your embarrassment.
“you. phone. lecture. forgot”, you stumbled over your words as if that were your first attempt at communicating.
feeling your already hot face burn brighter as tetsurous confusion further solidified on his handsome face, you only hoped he thought the running was responsible for you looking like a sweaty mess.
you forced yourself to let out a short laugh as you broke eye contact to gain back your composure. “sorry, I didn’t expect the running to get to me that bad. maybe lev is right, I should try some aerobics with him”, starting to mumble towards the end, you shook your head. “anyway, you forgot your phone on the table in our lecture just now. i didn’t want to hold onto it till thursday and didn’t know where else to find you, so i ran after you. m’ sorry if I kinda freaked you out”, you quickly added while holding out his phone to him.
as you never really talked to the tall man before, your head snapped up to look at him when you heard his deep chuckle. was there something that’s not attractive about this man?
taking the phone from your hands, you were finally able to experience the first full sentence kuroo tetsurou ever directed at you. “well, thanks. i definitely didn’t wanna be without a phone two whole days, so i appreciate you running after me with such determination”, he remarked, as he observed how out of breath you still were, grinning.
“oh god, you know, never doing anything nice for you ever again sounds good right about now”, you groaned, lifting a hand in front of your face to stop him from studying your slightly damp face.
nothing on this green-blue-brown floating rock in space that is also known as the earth, could have prepared you for what you were witnessing next. with your mouth slightly ajar, you looked at tetsurou as he leaned over, clutching his stomach, while letting out the funniest laugh you have ever heard in your life.
in your mind, you saw a quick flash of a scene from ‘the lion king’, in which one of the hyenas was laughing exactly like that. you briefly wondered whether kuroo was influenced by that scene as a kid before you couldn’t keep your laugh in anymore after the initial shock subdued.
“my apologies, the situation was just way too perfect for me to not tease you. i’d be honored if you’d grace me with your kindness again, my highness”, he slightly bowed while, once again, flashing you that sly smirk that made you wanna punch and make out with him at the same time.
you tried to match his energy as best as you could with your head jumbled from the proximity to the man you have been sitting next to every tuesday and thursday from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m., but looking back at the interaction, you couldn’t wrap your head around tetsurou wanting to continue talking to you after that conversation.
“i’ll consider it, peasant.”
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after that, you and your smart seatmate talked a lot more. you found out that he was majoring in sports management and minoring in chemistry even though it was so different from management, just because he liked it. lev, your best friend at college since the first day when he didn’t see you from his 6’5” point of view and knocked you over as you were looking at the menu in the very coffee shop you were currently sitting in, turned out to be one of kuroo’s old friends from high school. which let you to find out the most unfortunate information about kuroo tetsurou thus far.
as you were walking to your next lecture with the dark-haired man, lev joined in with a tall, blonde, and gorgeous woman by his side. you immediately recognized alisa, lev’s sister. even though the silver-haired boy was ginormous, he couldn’t hold his liquor very well, which resulted in you having to drag the giraffe of a human home after a party quite a few times. there, you met alisa.
wanting to go in for a hug with the beautiful blonde, you froze at once as you tried to process what you were seeing. tetsurou had an arm wrapped around her petite waist, the other one placed on her sharp jaw, as he softly pecked her lips.
lev excitedly started telling you about a new side job he got as a model and while you supported him with your whole heart and were genuinely proud of him for landing that job, you could only zero in on the sight in front of you. your eyes hyper focused on the way his large hands were gently grabbing her waist, your ears on the soft ‘how was your day?’ and flirty ‘better, now that you’re here’ exchanged.
putting on your best poker face and directing your attention to the excited titan beside you, your own reaction startled you. even more surprising was who you were jealous of. you did have a small crush on alisa at the start, who wouldn’t? she’s tall, beautiful, fun, loving, caring, alas she was way too similar to lev to develop a full-on crush on her. then, it dawned on you, that the one you were jealous of, was not tetsurou, but in fact, alisa.
of course, you thought your seatmate was attractive from the first moment you saw him, but how you managed to develop a crush on him without even realizing it, was beyond you. ugly, jealous thoughts made their way into your head about one of the most loveable people you met. those disgusting thoughts slithered their hands around your throat, trying to suffocate you and so you buried that small crush in the back of your mind.
after that encounter you kept your distance to the handsome male. it was better for you, your sanity and everyone involved. in no way were you ever going to go between a loving relationship because of your own selfish feelings.
for crying out loud, you didn’t even know kuroo that well while alisa was like a sister to you. however, you weren’t able to tune out the insecure voices in your head. of course, he liked tall, model-like women who resembled angels not only physically but also with their personality. who were you to compare yourself to her? not even you yourself liked who you were, so why would one of the most attractive guys you ever saw?
you deserved someone good, but alisa deserved the world, so you just wished that tetsurou was the best for her.
and while kuroo tetsurou was a lot of things, he wasn’t ignorant, so when you decided to sit down in another seat in the lecture a few times or made up some excuses as to why he couldn’t walk with you to your next seminar, he knew something was wrong.
which brings you back to right now, with you staring at your laptop, hoping that the boy you’ve been trying to avoid wouldn’t come over to check on you. alas, your luck was apparently all spent, because you could see a tall, dark figure drop themselves on the bench in front of you.
“y/n.”
at the low tone of his voice calling your name, you lifted your gaze from your laptop to look at the boy you were trying to stay clear of.
“hmm? oh, hey tetsurou. didn’t see you there.” bullshit, he thought.
“yeah, ’m here with alisa. just a quick break before she has her next lecture.” while saying that, kuroo focused on your expression, trying to gauge your emotions and maybe get a hint on why you were actively keeping him at arm’s length.
after taking a swift look in the direction the happy couple was sitting just a few minutes ago, you nodded and kept your eyes on your coffee.
“that’s nice, you should probably go back now though. don’t want you to waste precious date time”, you said cheerfully, but weren’t able to keep out the slightly bitter tone out of your voice. that’s exactly why you were trying to stay away from him. the sight of the merry couple only fueled your toxic thoughts about two people you cherished and even though you wished for them to be happy together, the insecurities deep inside you wouldn’t let you.
seeing the slight change in your voice and expression, kuroo cocked his head to the side. did he say the wrong thing?
“she’s already leaving, so i decided to catch up with you for a bit.”
fantastic.
“well,” you remarked while closing your laptop and starting to pack your things, “I also need to get going, was nice seeing you though.”
“i’ll walk you”, was in fact not what you wanted to hear. but the universe hated you for some reason. you looked back at him and waved your hand dismissingly, trying to speedily think of a reason why he couldn’t accompany you: “uh, you see, i, uh... i’m visiting my parents this weekend, so i’ll just take the train. ’m not going back to the dorms.”
even if kuroo would have been stupid and oblivious, which he was not, your hurried attempt at getting rid of him just confirmed all his suspicions. but the ex-captain wasn’t going to let you run away from him so easily.
“no problem, i’ll walk you to the train station. the field i practice volleyball in with lev and a few others is nearby. ‘was gonna head there anyway, let’s go.” this time, he didn’t let you enough time to object, so you were stuck grabbing your things and following him, regardless of what you wanted.
to your surprise, kuroo didn’t say a thing on the way to the train station. you expected him to force you into a whole debate about whether pluto was a planet or not, but he just stayed silent. was that a bit of your luck shining through, or was he angry?
not wanting to push your luck any longer, you stayed silent as well, as you waited for your train at the designated platform. guess you had to make a surprise visit to your hometown because of your little lie, but maybe that was exactly what you needed. some time away to clear your head.
but just as you got excited for the spontaneous trip, kuroo finally dropped what has been on his mind the whole walk or rather, the whole three weeks you’ve been running away from him as if he was on fire and you couldn’t wait to get away from him as far as possible.
“y/n. why are you avoiding me?”, he questioned, looking at the rails ahead, instead of you.
“w-what? i’m not, why would you think that?”, you quickly sputtered out, hardly able to convince yourself of your own lies.
tetsurou gave you a look of complete skepticism, quickly shutting down your protests. “don’t play dumb with me, ’m not stupid. i know you’re not sitting down way further in the back or running out of the lecture on accident. you’re doing this on purpose. even just a moment ago you didn’t want me to escort you. tell me why.”
luckily, the train arrived just on time, so you quickly hoped on with a fleeting 'see you next week' and hoped he would just assume you didn’t quite catch what he said because of the train.
he didn’t though. he knew that you heard him.
the short spontaneous weekend trip turned into you staying for almost two whole weeks because of a cold, so your mom wouldn’t let you return without someone taking care of you, not knowing you had some big news waiting for you once you got back.
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“we broke up.”
wou were currently in the library after returning to campus, trying to catch up on some lectures you missed, when alisa entered. together, you were walking around the english literature section, catching up when she dropped the bomb.
“wait, what? how? when? why? huh? what did he do?”, you asked dumbfounded, feeling bad about your two friends, who were so clearly in love, breaking up. but even more than that, you could feel disgust creep up your spine because deep down you knew you were sickly happy about the fact that kuroo was now single. what a shit fucking friend you were.
“relax”, alisa chuckled. “he didn’t do anything, we just kinda came to the agreement that we don’t love each other the same anymore. i felt like he was always distracted the last weeks we were together, always deep in thought, and i decided to concentrate on my graduation and career as a model. it was a great college relationship and i still care for him, we just… we broke up about a week ago.”
“well, as long as you’re both happy with the decision”, you sighed while picking ‘pride and prejudice’ by jane austen from a bookshelf, not feeling like such a piece of shit for being lowkey happy about it anymore, but you still knew you two would never work. even if the breakup was mutually decided, tetsurou was still her ex.
hearing alisa giggle, you turned your gaze from the book in your hand and wondered: “huh? why are you laughing?” the tall blonde only grinned and continued her way down the aisle. completely confused, you followed her with the book still in hand.
“what the fuck? kinda acting sus not gonna lie.”
“wow, I thought you had better jokes than that y/n”, she teased, sitting down at a nearby table.
breathing out some air out of your nose in mock anger, you sat down beside her, tipping your non-existent fedora. “sorry i’m not up to your comedy standards, m’lady.”
alisa laughed loudly before noticing the book you were still holding, her laughter turning into a knowing grin. once again, you shot her a confused look: “what is it with you today? your mood swings are confusing the shit outta me.”
“you know, that’s like one of tetsu’s favorite books.”
“what? 'pride and prejudice'?”, you inquired, puzzled. why was she telling you this? “are you like, having some post-breakup nostalgia or?”
she laughed once again, waving her manicured hand dismissingly and shaking her head: “it just kinda popped into my head. i never read it, but he once wanted to read it to me. it did not end well; i couldn’t take it seriously and had to laugh the whole time. he just gave up and sulked for the rest of the evening.”
“yep, definitely pbn”. the girl shoved your shoulder slightly while snickering before taking out her laptop and working on something, leaving you alone with your conflicted thoughts.
as fate would have it, you didn’t really talk to kuroo for the last two weeks of lectures. finals were catching up and you had a lot of exams, leaving you with no time to catch up with the tall boy. plus, you were still trying to avoid him. you weren’t about to give into temptation and try your luck with alisa’s ex, which was much easier if said temptation didn’t walk around looking fine directly in front of you.
but with the weekend starting, you agreed to go to a party with the haiba siblings to treat yourself to a break from typing essay after essay. it was obvious that kuroo would also be there and this time, you wouldn’t be able to avoid him. the running had finally caught up to you.
before the party, you decided to go to the library to work on one of your essays, but with how much work there was left, you simply forgot the time. at 10 p.m., your phone rang.
“hello?”
“girl? why aren’t you here yet? and why aren’t you answering our messages? we texted you like a million times”, levs’ questioning voice echoed through the speaker.
quickly checking the time and number of messages you got, you gasped: “oh god, so sorry! i was at the library working on my shitty marketing essay! ’m gonna be right there!”
ending the phone call, you quickly gathered your things and rushed to your dorms. stripping on the way to the bathroom in your one room apartment, you hopped into the shower, feeling as if you were trying to break the world record for the fastest shower known to men.
as you were stepping out of the shower a few minutes later, someone knocked at your door, startling you. did the haiba siblings come to pick you up? with a hasty ‘’m coming’, you hurried to the door in only a towel.
“hey, I just got out of the shower, I just need…” faltering in your sentence, you gripped your towel tighter, trying not to freak out. because there were no alisa and lev in sight. just kuroo tetsurou. while you were standing there. with only a towel on. fuck. “that’s uh… you’re not alisa and lev.”
“er… n-no, no i’m not”, kuroo stuttered out, at least having the decency to avert his eyes to the ceiling, realizing what you had or rather had not on after checking you out. collecting your composure, you shot him a tight-lipped smile and stepped aside to let him in.
“come in, I just need to get dressed and do my makeup. you can wait inside.”
walking past you, the dark-haired man pretended to scratch his head to hide his red ears and quickly surveyed your room. “that’s…”, breaking off his sentence instantly when his voice cracked, he cleared his throat before trying again. “nice room.”
while kuroo tried not to have a mental breakdown and remember what he came here for, you picked up your disregarded clothes from earlier of the floor, being mindful of not to flash the man, and made your way to your wardrobe, chucking in your dirty laundry and scanning your variety of clothes to pick out the most flattering outfit for the party. “uh, yeah, thanks. so, uh, what did you want? ee would’ve seen each other at the party later anyway.”
but there was no answer, making you frown. just as you wanted to turn around, calling his name in confusion, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around your waist loosely, causing you to choke out his name.
kuroo leaned his head down towards your neck, slowly inhaling the scent of your strawberry bodywash before sighing contently. his soft, plump lips slowly trailed up to your ear, creating goosebumps on their way, before lowly murmuring: “you smell delicious. i could eat you up.”
you could feel yourself shiver at the low timbre of his voice and the indication of his words, as your heart rate picked up to the point you had the feeling as though you were going to die right then and there. how did his demeanor change so suddenly? it seemed as if you were in a room with a completely different person.
the ex-captain smugly grinned as he felt your breath quicken and chest heave without him even doing much, tightening one arm around your waist, while his large hand on the other arm splayed itself on your stomach, slowly sliding down towards where you wanted him. “hm? can I do that baby?”
just as quickly as the thoughts of ‘stop, this is so wrong. what about alisa?’ appeared in your mind, they immediately disappeared with the sweet melody of kuroo calling you baby.
not being able to keep a little whine from slipping out at the pet name, you nodded, your cheeks unbearably hot. but that wasn’t enough for him. tetsurou wanted your verbal consent, even if his half-hard cock already slightly twitched at the small noise you let out without him even touching you properly, screaming at him to finally fuck you.
avoiding the area, you wanted him to touch the most, his hand grabbed your thigh, causing you to squeeze your legs together in search of relief. he tsked at your lack of words and lightly spanked your thigh before tightening his grip around the fat, earning him a surprised squeak from you. “no, use your big girl words baby. i want to hear it.”
the instant tetsurou startled you with the spank, you hurriedly grabbed onto his forearms, lightly digging your nails into the muscles. already, everything was getting too much. his smooth voice seducing you, his dominant touch jumbling up your brain, his urgent need to hear your consent, his pleasant scent of a mix of his cologne, mint and husk surrounding you. him, him, him. you wanted more. you needed more. the slick between your legs grew embarrassingly fast, smearing on the inside of your thighs, showing off kuroo’s effect on you evidently.
“please… please touch me tetsu', I need it”, you whimpered out impatiently, making him close his eyes to stop himself from cumming already, your needy voice going straight to his dick standing at full attention. and even though the menace in him wanted to tease you and hear you beg more; he knew that he didn’t have the willpower to deny himself of having you any longer.
as you felt the tall male finally place his hand underneath your towel and cup your pussy, your head rolled back onto his shoulder, giving him full access to your neck. while dragging his middle and index finger through your folds leisurely, his lips and tongue placed hungry kisses on your neck.
“fuck, angel, you’re soaking wet. Is that all because of me, hmm?”, he lowly murmured against your neck, while his fingers simultaneously slowly circled your clit. you couldn’t stop your eyes from lolling to the back of your head or the small whimper that left you, even though the ‘angel’ left a bitter taste in your mouth. as much as the pet name made your stomach all tingly, you always compared alisa to an angel, so it didn’t quite sit well to be called that by her own ex.
but as you felt his middle finger enter you, all thoughts flew out of your head. The only thing on your mind were the raspy praises against your neck and his finger moving at a torturous pace inside you.
“please tetsu', more, I need more”, you complained whiny, because as much as it was all overwhelming, it also wasn’t enough. kuroo could only grin at your eagerness, but couldn’t blame you, since his own patience was speedily wearing thin.
with an uttered ‘everything for you angel’, he added his index finger into the mix, curling the two digits and, not wasting a moment, pumping them into you at a rapid pace, eliciting a quiet moan out of you. the ex-captain noted that you weren’t much of a moaner and mentally made it a challenge to have you crying for him by the end of the night. so, without much warning, his long, thick fingers started hammering against your g-spot while his thumb circled your clit at the same time, making you squeeze your eyes shut with your mouth opening in a silent scream, your hands searching for stability on the closet in front of you.
“c’mon, y/n, baby, i know you want it, fucking give it to me. ‘been fantasizing about this so long, just wanna make you feel good and fall apart for me. show me how much of a good girl you are.” his smooth voice flowed into your ear, seducing you to fully give into him. you felt as if you were being lured by satan himself and you were just a weak little human, not nearly strong enough to resist the whisper of the devil.
with a series of soft, high-pitched moans, you came on his fingers without any warning, your legs giving out at the intensity of it all. tetsurou only tightened his arm around your waist, picking you up without any trouble, making you clench around nothing at his display of effortless strength as he withdrew his fingers from your dripping hole. you thought you heard a small ‘good girl’, but you couldn’t tell for sure with the way you were still floating on cloud nine after he brought you to your orgasm that quickly.
panting and shivering at the goosebumps erupting, you lifted your gaze up at him as he placed you on your bed, only to find him already staring at you with low lids and completely black eyes, the beautiful hazel color of his eyes lost in all the lust and desire that took over his expression.
refusing to break eye-contact, kuroo lifted his with your essence-soaked fingers to his plush lips, wrapping them around the digits and sucking lewdly at them. once again, you felt yourself clench around nothing, rubbing your thighs against each other to get some relief, when you saw his eyes roll back as he tasted you.
the next thing you knew, your back hit the bed with the broad man lying between your spread legs, making you yelp. you could feel the atmosphere around tetsurou change once again. he was a lot more feral than he was before, as if his patience were running out.
his biceps wrapped around your plush thighs, holding you in place since the feeling of his breath against your cunt made your hips twitch up at their own accord, exposing the strong want you had for the man between your legs.
“’m gonna fucking wreck you angel”, he growled against your slit, before diving right in, licking and sucking messily at your clit, your pussy lips, everywhere he could reach. and as much as it shouldn’t feel pleasurable with him being as aggressive as he was, it felt fucking heavenly. you couldn’t help but arch your back, hands flying down to tangle in his messy rooster hair and tugging at the surprisingly soft strands, causing him to moan hoarsely against your sensitive pussy, the vibrations only egging you on. something about kuroo tetsurou losing his usual provocative, teasing demeanor as he ate you out felt so raw and animalistic, that it made your head spin and toes curl.
his large hand crept up your torso and he finally removed the towel that barely hid your breasts from him before palming one, drawing a content sigh out of you at the attention. but as much as he enjoyed listening to you whine and sigh because of the pleasure he was causing you, he wanted, no, needed to hear how much you wanted this, how much you wanted him.
“tell me how it feels angel, tell me how good it feels. ‘wanna hear your pretty voice, baby”, he huskily mumbled against your clit, making you arch your back at the delicious vibrations echoing through your core. but as much as you enjoyed hearing his dirty talk, you felt insecure about yours not turning him on.
preparing yourself mentally as good as you managed with the way he ate you out like a man starved, you allowed yourself a glance down only to see him expectantly observing you. the erotic sight only coaxed another high-pitched whine out of you, your head lolling back against your pillow.
at the next harsh suck on your sensitive bundle of nerves, your hips thrusted up against his skilled tongue and you finally gave in to your desire of wanting to tell him how good he was making you feel. only him.
“fuck, tetsu', d-don’t stop. feels so good, you feel so good, only you, please, please, please”, you needily moaned while grinding your hips up, simultaneously pushing his head deeper into your pussy and if kuroo had any self-control left, it was definitely gone now.
his toned biceps tightened around your thighs. his large hands squeezed your breast and hip harshly, leaving bruises for you to discover tomorrow. his able tongue messily switched between being shoved deep inside you and swirling your clit and you could feel the bed shake with how forceful he was humping the bed just from eating you out and hearing you talk like that. every little thing contributed to your orgasm washing over you like a tsunami. you were fairly sure you even blacked out for a few seconds because the next time you focused your attention back on tetsurou, he was frantically unbuttoning his jeans, with his shirt already off, whipping out his cock.
you felt your eyes widen as well as your pussy clench, you couldn’t remember the last time you were this horny, but you also weren’t sure how the fuck you were supposed to fit a cock this big and girthy inside you. meanwhile kuroo took off his boxers and contently sighed as he finally started stroking himself, giving himself some relief but it wasn’t enough. not by a long shot.
zoning in on your face once again - sweaty, low lidded eyes, blown out pupils- the impatient boy leaned down and kissed you for the first time that evening. after everything that just transpired between you two, the kiss definitely felt the most intimate, but it was also what you were craving the most from tetsurou for months now.
you didn’t know how to possibly express all the emotions you were currently overwhelmed with, so you tried to translate it all through the kiss. kissing back harder, all teeth and tongue, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer, pressing your thighs against his hips, hoping it was enough to convey what you wanted to say.
apparently, it was, because you could hear kuroo lowly growl against your lips before starting to dig his fingers into your hips and grind against you, finally letting you feel him where you needed him the most.
“n-not enough, tetsu'”, you eagerly whined, raising your hips, hoping it was enough to convince him to finally fuck you like you craved him to. but as thin as his patience was at the moment, kuroo tetsurou would not be kuroo tetsurou without his teasing antics.
he slyly grinned, pressing feather-light kisses down from your lips to your throat, making his way to your breasts, where he teasingly kitten-licked your nipples a few times, letting you think you were finally getting what you wanted before he raised his head and stared you down with his almost pitch-black eyes. “mmm, I know you can do better than that kitten”, he gruffly remarked while continuing to grind against you slowly, making you jerk and mewl every time you felt the head of his cock bump against your clit. “what do you want me to do, baby?”
how he still had it in him to tease and deny you, was beyond you, because you were on the edge of breaking down from how bad you wanted him. “’want you to fuck me, tetsu'”, you confidently said while gazing into his eyes, or at least, you tried to sound confident, but you were only able to whine and moan at this point.
kuroo closed his eyes and felt himself twitch against your pussy. you were going to be the death of him. sitting back up on his knees, he grabbed his cock and lined it up with your entrance, making you spread your legs automatically wider at the sight.
with one sharp snap of his hips, you both groaned simultaneously, your groan high-pitched, his low and guttural, at the feeling you’ve both been craving for. “fuck, you’re on birth control, right?”, he asked, straining himself as to not just start pounding you into oblivion or cum right on the spot.
“yes, shit”, you breathlessly answered, putting your hands against his toned abdomen as to let him know to wait, which only made him clench his abs at the feeling of your soft hands on his exposed skin. “j-just give me a sec, need a moment”, you murmured avoiding eye contact, suddenly shy at the fact that you were just lying there with kuroo balls deep inside you.
sensing your mood shift, the tall male grinned his cheshire-grin at you and teasingly remarked: “why? am i too big for you, huh?”, hoping it’d make you laugh and relax a bit, soon realizing that the idea completely back-fired on him.
as you started to laugh at his arrogant remark, hitting his abs slightly and telling him to shut up, your core clenched in-sync with your laughter, making you freeze at the sudden loud, almost pornographic moan escaping tetsurou’s lips.
looking up at him, you finally realized how much he was holding back as to not hurt you or make you uncomfortable. the handsome boys’ wild hair was already sticking to the sweat forming on his forehead, his jaw clenched painfully, nostrils flaring, eyebrows furrowed, biceps bulging with how hard he was gripping the sheets beside your hips to restrain himself. the thought of him wanting to fuck you so bad but holding back for your pleasure and well-being, was enough to make you clench down on him again, rolling your hips up against his and declaring: “’m ready, tetsu'. please, f-fuck me”.
with your words and the grinding of your hips, kuroo really couldn’t hold back the little stutter his hips did against yours but fuck, was he embarrassed by it. he felt like a teenager, touching real boobs for the first time all over again, knowing he wouldn’t last long. not with how long he had fantasized about this and with how you reacted to his every move and touch, squeezing him so tight, he felt like he wouldn’t even be able to move.
“’m gonna break you”, and with those final words, his large, veiny hands gripped your hips in a bruising, vice grip, pulling out so only his tip was inside your messy, drooling cunt, before snapping right back in, making you choke on your breath at the impact.
as much as kuroo wanted to bust inside you right then and there, the strong urge to see you lose yourself on his cock while he ruined every other man for you was much more prominent. so, the ex-captain rutted in your pussy like his life depended on it, wanting your moans and mewls and whines to never stop. there was so much that was running through his head while being empty at the same time. the only thought was to bring you both to earth-shattering orgasms, but he also wanted to spit in your mouth, choke you, spank your thighs and ass till you wouldn’t be able to sit tomorrow. he wanted to come on your thighs, your tits, face, but he also wanted to breed you.
you two were definitely way too young for children but he couldn’t get the mental image of you, stuffed with his cum with it running down your legs out of his mind, only making it harder for him not to cum immediately.
but you weren’t doing better either. the pace that kuroo was fucking you at, had you seeing stars, riding you up higher on the bed with every thrust and your eyes rolling to the back of your head. you gripped the sheets, his hands, his forearms, your breasts, anything, to try to stabilize yourself as you approached your high embarrassingly fast without your clit even being touched.
just as the thought crossed your mind, you felt tetsus’ calloused fingertips, from years of playing volleyball, circle your clit, causing you to throw your head back with your lips open in a silent scream.
“fuck, you’re so fucking tight kitten, so much better than i ever imagined. cum for me, wanna feel you cream on my fat cock, wanna see you lose your mind baby, give it to me”. at this point, he basically started rambling on about how hot and tight you were, how he wanted you to cum around his cock so badly, how you were gonna make him cum so hard, how you were making such a mess for him, what a good girl you were.
just as you felt yourself almost falling over the edge at the added stimulus to your clit and the filthy praises that were coming out of his mouth, you yanked the boy down by his arm, wrapping your arms around him firmly and kissing him so hard, you were sure you both would have bruised lips later.
with the new position and the intimacy of being pressed up against each other, one more thrust, and you were gone. cumming around his cock so hard, you couldn’t remember the last time someone made you cum that hard, if ever.
the pornographic moans of his name along with some ‘fuck’s and ‘so good’s, the jerking of your body against his and the vice-grip of your pussy on his dick as you came. it was all too much for the poor boy who didn’t even cum once the whole time, while you already had three orgasms under your belt. the last straw was your quiet, little ‘cum inside tetsu', want you to fill me up’ and so, a few short, sloppy thrusts later, kuroo buried his face in your neck, groaning loudly as he came inside, spurting hot, white cum against your abused walls.
the feeling of being filled up to the hilt by kuroo tetsurou was intoxicating. you whined, wrapping your legs around his hips, caging him in so he couldn’t pull out, not wanting the moment to end.
you both lied there, trying to catch your breath. as he pulled out after a few moments and got up to go grab a towel to clean you up, your hand caught his. “don’t go, where are you going?”, you whined needily, wanting to cuddle, to worn-out to care about the mess gushing out of your hole onto the bed sheets.
chuckling, the tall boy leaned down, kissing your forehead: “’m not going anywhere angel, I’m just gonna grab a towel and clean you up”. with that he retreated to the bathroom in search of a towel to use.
you, on the other hand, suddenly sobered up from your drunk-on-lust high at the pet name, making you realize what you just did. fuck, you just banged alisa’s ex-boyfriend. they weren’t even broken off for that long and you already betrayed her.
feeling like a bad friend and complete whore, you didn’t even register said ex-boyfriend was back, making you flinch at the sudden contact of your sensitive pussy with the wet, rough towel.
“relax baby, it’s just me”, he teasingly chuckled, while cleaning you up. when he didn’t hear you chuckle or bite back at his teasing, his expression morphed into a frown, lifting his gaze from your core to your face. “what’s wrong?”
“nothing, thanks.” but of course, you were lying. the panic that slowly settled in your chest was threatening to suffocate you. hell, you weren’t even able to look at him properly.
you felt kuroo grab your chin with his fingers gently, turning your head so you had to look at him. tetsurou was completely serious, he only hoped you weren’t regretting what just transpired between you two, as he repeated: “what’s. wrong?”, emphasizing those two words so you knew there was no point in lying.
feeling your eyes water up, you cursed yourself for showing weakness, since you weren’t one to cry often, especially in front of other people. “what are we going to tell alisa?”
that caught him off guard. “alisa?”, he repeated questioningly, as if he didn’t know what you meant. how could he not know? was he that stupid?
you sat up, rubbing at your eyes frantically with the rising anger inside your chest. “yeah, alisa. your ex. the one that’s like a sister to me. how am I supposed to look her in the eyes after what we just did?”
kuroo wasn’t stupid. you could vouch for that any day. you saw him in your lecture, and you had studied a lot with him, but right now, you were sure he was the dumbest person you ever knew, even beating lev. because even after explaining, he still only looked at you with a confused gaze, saying: “i don’t quite follow?”
groaning, you ran your hands through your hair in frustration, declaring: “you’re really smart, but you’re being so fucking dumb right now. how the fuck am I supposed to talk to one of my closest friends after I fucked her ex-boyfriend, who she loved by the way, not even that long after they broke up?”
finally, it clicked in kuroo’s brain. but the last thing you expected, was to hear him laugh. your head snapped up at the sound, glaring at him you almost growled: “what the fuck’s so funny, you fucking bedhead?”
“oh wow, throwing in the insults huh?”, he said between chuckles. “it’s funny because alisa was the one who encouraged me to come here tonight, though I don’t think she wanted us to outright fuck but, you know.”
what now?
“what do you mean she encouraged you to come here?”, you interrogated perplexed. suddenly he was acting all shy and sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck with his big hand, avoiding your eyes.
“well… we’re still friends, so we were talking about our lectures a week ago and she suddenly mentioned how you also were a fan of 'pride and rejudice'. i just… got kinda excited at that, since alisa wasn’t really interested in things like that, so i started asking her about it. she then called me out on my crush on you, saying she already knows why i was so distracted the weeks leading up to our break-up, thinking about you.”
while listening, your anger slowly morphed into nervousness at kuroo openly admitting he also had a crush on you, but you wanted him to finish his story before addressing the elephant in the room.
“i apologized immediately, thinking she was angry at me, but you know her. she was so sweet, saying she would only be happier if it worked out between us. after, she tried to set us up to talk to each other, but you avoided me like the plague, so she told me to come here before the party since you were running late, to confront you and settle it once and for all but uh…”, he sheepishly smiled, “i kinda got distracted when you opened the door in only a towel, so… that didn’t go as planned.”
sitting with your mouth agape in a ‘o’, your brain tried to process all the information, not knowing what to say to his confession and explanation.
“soooo… she’s not gonna hate me and cancel our friendship?”, you carefully pressed, just to be sure. “no, I don’t think she will”, he chortled.
“oh.”
with that, the room was suddenly extremely silent, making you and kuroo even more nervous. clearing his throat, he couldn’t take the silence anymore. “are you gonna give me an answer to my confession, or am I like, totally embarrassing myself right now?”
“uh, no, yeah”, you softly giggled at his obvious anxiousness. taking his face between your hands, you looked right into his hazel eyes in the dim lighting, before gently smiling at him.
“i like you too, nerd.”
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/31e232f3c04160e39e4de7352931d665/375594b98af521d3-0e/s540x810/77f4834eb3075b432d075b19541d274f392507b9.jpg)
bonus:
the next morning, you woke up to your phone aggressively vibrating on your nightstand beside your bed. you blindly reached out, picking up the call without even opening your eyes, clearly still half-asleep.
“hello?”, you groggily asked your caller, wondering who the fuck was calling you this early, when lev’s voice filled your ear. “y/n? hey, we we’re worried about you yesterday. why didn’t you show up? it was so much fun”, the big, over-grown baby whined.
looking down at the reason you weren’t able to attend the party sleeping soundly with his head on your chest, you smiled, carding your fingers softly through his raven-black hair.
“just… reasons”.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/67eabc458e9952109e4b62e17ed4651a/375594b98af521d3-70/s540x810/929beaa607f090a413339fd3eea6b8292242ac1c.jpg)
#kuroo smut#kuroo x y/n#kuroo x reader#kuroo#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo imagine#haikyuu!!#haikyuu kuroo#lev haiba#alisa haiba#kuroo tetsuro drabble#kuroo thirst#kuroo tetsuro oneshot#kuroo tetsuro hcs#kuroo tetsurou scenarios#kuroo tetsurou smut#kuroo tetsurou x reader#kuroo tetsurou x y/n#kuroo x you#kuroo tetsurou x you#kuroo tetsurou fanfic#kuroo tetsurou fanfiction#haikyuu smut#haikyu smut#haikyuu thirst#haikyu thirst#anime smut#kuroo tetsurou imagine#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x y/n
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Harringrove Week Day 2
So, my only knowledge of summer camp comes from The Parent Trap, Fear Street and a variety of murder mysteries so I’m kind of amazed there’s no murder in this. I’m added these prompts to AO3 under the name of Storybelle! 30th July - Last Day of Summer Camp
It is the last day of summer camp and Steve Harrington is a chicken.
“This is literally your last chance,” Robin says, ruthlessly. She’s wearing her Starcourt Camp counselor uniform: red shorts, striped t-shirt and sneakers, her name tag frayed and smudgy with marker after six weeks. Steve had written her a new one that read ‘Chief Bossy-pants’ but had found it stuck to his forehead one morning instead. How she’d broken in and stuck it to his face without waking anyone, he’ll never know.
“I know,” Steve says, in irritation. He’s going around picking up stray tennis balls, because the minute their hour is up, the kids all vanish like smoke without picking up their equipment. Which is how Steve is here, looking in the bushes and listening to Robin.
It’s made worse by the fact that he knows that she’s right. But he doesn’t have to say that to her.
“I don’t think you do,” Robin says, deftly swizzling one of the rackets in her hands. She sucks at tennis….or any sport, for that matter. But it’s okay because they have a system. Steve takes the lead on hikes and basketball, swim, tennis and volleyball and she does the same when it’s time for music, macrame or anything crafty that might lead Steve to gluing his fingers together. They make a good pair and the only reason Steve signed on for this gig was because he’d been guaranteed to be partnered with Robin, leading a rag-tag group of twelve year olds through assigned activities and supervised fun.
It hasn’t been bad, by any means. The kids are quirky and a little mouthy but nowhere near some of the terrors he’s seen other counselors trying to wrangle. One of Jonathan’s kids, Troy, has been in time out at the Big House at least seven times. That means no fun, no swim time, and cleaning under the watchful eye of Hopper, one of the camp owners. Steve had pegged him as a terrifying shit, not to be messed with the week of orientation. He kind of has to admire the balls on Troy for ending up there so often.
Not that it’s been smooth sailing. Erica, one of Chrissy’s little ten year olds, frequently slips away from her own group to annoy her brother, Lucas. Mike is completely smitten with Hopper’s daughter, El, and got busted sneaking out after lights out to see her. Max, from Robin’s cabin, Foxglove, punched another kid in the face on day two. And Dustin promptly hit a shuttlecock at a beehive, causing the entire sports area to be cleared out for the day.
It’s not been bad, Steve thinks. He could come back next summer. There’s something about the cool breeze from the lake, the sparkling water as the sun rises, the warm smell of pine. This whole place feels like the front of some postcard, the kind that the kids write every Sunday to be posted home and assure their parents that this place is the best and may they please, please come back next year. Some kids, like Chrissy and Barb, have been coming their entire lives, aging out of being a camper and into being a counselor.
Some, like Steve, get blackmailed into getting a job after they graduate high school by their dads.
Steve hadn’t expected much. He thought he’d eat some burgers, earn some cash and get his dad off his back. Hang out with Robin during their two nights off a week and maybe get a tan.
He had not expected to get punched in the gut with an overwhelmingly out of control crush that threatens to devour him from the inside out.
“And yet you’re still hiding out here, with me.” Robin drops the rackets back in the bucket and dusts off her hands. The heat of the day has turned everything a little hazy, a coating of sweat and dust on the back of Steve’s knees. The kids had flagged majorly, so Steve had sent them off with Nancy early to go to the canteen for drinks. No one in their cabins is all that good at hitting the ball anyway. No one except El, who is truly frightening and possibly moving the ball with mind control.
“You are my best friend,” Steve points out, prodding in the undergrowth for the ball that Will lost. How the kid hits anything when he flails that much astounds Steve. “Although currently I don’t know why.”
Robin makes a face. Their friendship is an odd one, based on trashy 80s movies, Taylor Swift and a complete desire to get out of Hawkins as soon as they’re physically able. And Steve’s not going to get the funds for that while his dad disapproves of him, so right now they’re saving up and a long year of minimum wage in his father's company looms looms when Steve gets back home.
“Fuck you, I’m a delight,” she says cheerfully, tucking a loose stray of golden brown hair back behind her headband. “I’m just saying that you could have had a way better summer if you’d not been such a wuss and actually gotten some.”
“Like you have?” Steve mutters, in a far grumpier tone that he’d normally allow for Robin. “What exactly have you done with Vicky this summer?”
“Enough,” Robin says cagily, leaning against the wall of the sports shed. Robin’s summer hasn’t been entirely without romance; she’d definitely vanished into dark corners on their nights off, reappearing with smudged lipstick and a dreamy smile. She’d also been nowhere to be seen during the Fourth of July fireworks, leaving Steve with their combined rugrats and covering for her with Hopper when he’d done his rounds. Steve can’t even resent her for it - if he’d gotten his act together, she would have done the same for him. “It doesn’t matter anyway, because she’s coming back to Hawkins. She’s working at the coffee shop so she’ll come into Kit and Caboodle on her breaks. California is a thirty-two hour car ride away.”
Frustrated, hot and more than a little heart-sore, Steve throws the last ball back into the basket with force. He knows how far California is. He’d Googled it the first night they were here, along with flight costs. He’d lain awake in his bunk, staring at the ceiling and hoping that none of the kids would wake up and see the glow of his phone.
It wasn’t worth it. Long distance doesn’t work out, everyone knows that. And even if it did, there’s no way that Billy Hargrove would ever look twice at him.
“It’s too late now,” Steve says, hauling the various equipment tubs back into the shed. There’s no point asking Robin to help, not when her upper body strength is limited to picking up her trumpet.
“It’s not too late, until he gets on a flight with Max!” Robin slaps her hand against the door for emphasis, looking like she wishes it were Steve’s head instead.
“He’s not gay,” Steve counters, kicking the last basket in and slamming the door shut.
“Steve, you are the definition of a useless bisexual,” Robin says in exasperation, stretching her long arms over her head. They need to go retrieve their munchkins from Nancy and head to scrap-booking, and their last swim session before it’s time for the scavenger hunt and the last night barbecue. Tomorrow morning the kids will have to pack, tidy up and have tearful goodbyes as they’re shoved onto various buses to ferry them home.
And Steve goes back to a normal life, sad and alone and mourning the fact that he never got to lick Billy Hargrove’s collarbones.
“Well, I don’t have the most practice with it,” Steve counters, setting off towards the path that will take them back to camp. He needs an ice cold coke and an aspirin, before he can even think about mentoring emotional children through making a glittery, sticky photo album of their memories. “Realizing I’m bi after one sloppy make-out session with Tommy H last year didn’t exactly give me time to hone my gaydar.”
“Mine has been in action since Sammy West in Second Grade,” Robin says, easily falling in step. In the distance, Steve can make out Chrissy’s bouncing red ponytail glinting in the sun as she and Eddie try to corral their collective kids. Steve returns Eddie’s peace sign and keeps walking. “I could pick out every queer counselor the day we arrived and your boy, Billy, is definitely one of them.”
“Maybe he is, but that doesn’t mean he wants anything to do with me,” Steve says, his words coming out a lot sharper than he intends. Robin’s face is gentle, almost pitying, as she loops his arm through hers. He leans gratefully against her, trying to appreciate this last moment that’s just the two of them. Even now, he can hear the raucous noise that comes from the canteen, poor Nancy trying to wrangle three separate cabins by herself. The next time they’ll have any peace is when they wave the cabins off tomorrow morning and the thought of it gives Steve a strange pang. He’s going to miss these kids, these people. He didn’t expect to make friends but he has.
“Or maybe you’ve been too sunk in your one-person pity party to see what’s right in front of you,” she says, and then doesn’t mention Billy again as they retrieve their kids and head off to Arts and Crafts.
***
“Can’t you take them?” Steve whines, as they follow the trail of kids down the path to the lake. Everyone is in their swim gear, clutching towels and almost off the walls with excitement at the chance of leaping into Lake Nora one last time. Robin and Steve follow at a more sedated pace, Robin through disinterest and Steve through reluctance.
“No,” Robin says, ruthlessly. “This is your wheelhouse, Harrington. You were swim team and swim captain and my coordination on land is lacking, never mind in the water. The kids are going for their last swim. Don’t fuck it up.”
“He’s going to be there,” Steve mutters, kicking at a large stick and sending it flying off the path. Robin rolls her eyes.
“No shit,” she says. “He’s the lifeguard. Hey! Don’t you guys dare jump in without us! Line up, you know the rules!”
The kids all screech to a sudden halt by the water’s edge, not daring to defy her orders. Steve has to admire her for that. They worked out a good cop/bad cop routine pretty early on and no one - not even Mike - dares disobey Robin’s rules.
Steve, they walk all over. He can’t quite bring himself to mind though.
But he really ought to work on the discipline thing before he has kids of his own.
He and Robin scramble down the last section before the trees open up and reveal the clear, sparkling water. Steve takes it all in for one last time, trying to preserve this in his memory. The bobbing kayaks, the kids giggling as the water laps their toes, the bright light glinting off the dock. Everything exactly like this.
“Alright, towels down,” Robin instructs, a lighthouse in among the sea of kids. “Earrings out, Max? El, need a hair tie? Angela, if you make faces, you won’t go in! If I have to discipline you for splashing again, you won’t go to the last barbecue! Okay, ready? Go!”
The kids hurtle away into the water, immediately churning up the stark, clear blue with bubbles and foam and tiny legs and arms immediately strike out in a desperate race out to the buoy. They’ll swim out and come back, to see who’s first, and then they’ll spend the rest of the time bobbing up and down and chasing each other.
“Will will win,” Steve says, shielding his eyes against the sun as he watches the bobbing heads compete to be the first to the buoy. “He’s gotten good.”
“Max isn’t far behind,” Robin comments, shifting a few towels away from the frothing water. The distinct red plaits are definitely close behind but what physical skill Will lacks on land, he seems to have taken to swimming like a fish. They’ve done this all summer, betting on which kid will win the race, who’ll make the most goals, who will be the first one to fall out of the kayak.
“I don’t want to be around her if she loses,” comes a voice from behind them and Steve turns.
He hadn’t known, okay? If you went back three months and told him that he’d meet the fucking love of his life at a fucking summer camp, he’d laugh in your Goddamn face. He’s Steve Harrington and he doesn’t do love anymore. He tried that two years ago and all it got him was humiliation and a broken heart.
Billy hadn’t even turned up that first week. He’d come late, with Max, and when he’d gotten off that bus - leather strap on one wrist, blue shirt sleeves rolled up his tanned forearms and sucking on a diet coke - Steve’s entire world had moved.
When he doesn’t see Billy for a while, he can almost forget. And then, out of the blue, it’s like a lightning bolt, frying every nerve in his body and stopping his heart dead in his chest.
Billy grins at him, entirely unaware of what it does to Steve. He’s wearing his favorite aviator sunglasses, pushed back over his golden curls. Save for the flip flops, red regulation swimming shorts and a whistle around his neck, he’s completely naked and it’s just miles of golden skin from the mole on his left knee to the delicate curve of his collarbones.
Steve is so fucked.
“She was born competitive, I swear,” Billy says, tipping his glasses down onto his nose and squinting at his stepsister in the distance. The kids are paddling back now, although the usual suspects have begun to flag. Dustin is last, Steve notes, and Max and Will are still fairly neck and neck in the front.
“I remember,” Robin says dryly, no doubt recalling the day Max had shoved a scrabble tile up some kid’s nose when he’d cheated. “Has she always been like that?”
“Don’t ask about the Monopoly incident of 2017,” Billy says, with a wince. He takes another step forward, bringing him level with Steve and it’s just enough to feel the warmth from Billy’s skin.
Steve doesn’t quite get Billy’s family dynamics. Max is his stepsister but he refers to their parents as Susan and Mark. Steve knows for a fact that Billy’s dad’s name is Neil so he isn’t quite sure how Billy ended up with Susan and Max when his stepmother remarried.
Not that it seems to matter - Billy and Max argue and adore each other in equal measure. She shows off to get his attention and he affectionately calls her a shithead, while saving her his share of dessert. Their relationship is something odd and incomprehensible to outsiders. Billy even writes postcards to their parents, wistfully mentions Susan’s cooking, bubbles about how Mark is going to help him fix up this old car when they get back to Cali. Billy doesn’t seem to mind that none of his family actually share blood.
Steve can’t quite understand: he’s currently in a shitty stand off with his dad, even though they both know that Steve will cave and come work for him. But Robin just graduated and her part time gig at the craft shop hadn’t really wracked up the funds so Steve might as well make decent money before they leave Hawkins in their dust.
It chafes, being forced into a box that he doesn’t want. Even if it’s for a year, before he and Robin get in the car and go, Steve feels like something is being carved out of his chest that he just can’t get back.
Will and Max stumble onto the shore, both breathing deeply.
“Who won? Was I first?” Max asks, a brilliant flush to her pale cheeks. Steve and Billy share a look.
“It was a tie,” they say in unison, rather than confess that they hadn’t really been watching. Steve’s attention had been on the patch of skin by Billy’s wrist, a faint strip of white made by Billy’s bracelets.
Max pouts a little but forgets about it when El comes up behind her. The rest of the group traipse out of the water, one by one, catching their breath after their race. Billy elbows Steve and points to the tiny dot still out in the water.
“I think Dustin’s flagging,” he says. “Do you want to go, or shall I?”
Steve stares into Billy’s sharp blue eyes and wishes he’d been braver this summer.
“I’ll go,” he says, instead of the words he’d really meant to say and heads out into the water.
***
Steve sucks some barbecue sauce off his fingers and thinks that he’s going to miss Murrary’s cooking skills most of all. The man only breaks out his culinary abilities for big events, like these barbecues and the end of color war, but the man is a fucking genius.
“You’ll be sick,” Robin says, looking at his plate with disgust. “That’s too many ribs.”
“Au contraire, my good woman, it is not enough ribs,” Eddie counters, looking at a bare bone with what can only be described as love. Robin groans loudly and turns back to her potato salad.
The last night's barbecue is everything that Steve could have hoped for. The evening is warm, with the faintest summer breeze and Steve’s happy and full. The kids are on such good behavior that the junior counselors get to sit together, so long as they keep a general eye on their charges. Not that anyone is going to risk pissing off Hopper on the last night - rumor goes that the last kid who messed around on the last night was made to scrub every toilet stall instead.
Steve chucks another bone back onto his plate and wonders vaguely if he’s eating to smother his feelings. His friends seem to have coupled up over the summer without him noticing. Nancy and Jonathan, still going strong, to Robin and Vicky’s new relationship to the surprise twist of Eddie and Chrissy lounging against each other like they can’t bear to be apart.
Steve bites viciously into another rib. It’s fine. He’s going back to Hawkins the day after tomorrow and he’s fine about it. He’ll be sad and single and pathetic and it’ll be a repeat of his job last summer where the girls couldn’t get past the stupid sailor outfit. He knows there’s some stupid mail-room get up waiting for him, payback for not agreeing right away.
Billy is hanging out with the other lifeguards, all of them now wearing the regular uniform rather than their swimsuits and whistles. That douche-bag, Shaun, is lounging in a chair like he owns the place and several girls adjusting their straps, soaking in the last of the summer sun. Heather Holloway offers Billy a plastic cup and as he takes it, Billy slings an arm around her shoulders and tugs her in closer, teasingly covering her eyes with his free hand. Steve’s gut twists unpleasantly at the sight and he turns away. He’s no longer quite so hungry.
“He’s not dating her,” Robin says, having followed his line of sight.
“Who’s dating who?” Nancy says, her reporter ears apparently still working even on summer break. Her hair is curling softly around her delicate face, loose from its usual ponytail. Steve still vaguely remembers running his fingers through that ponytail, in the car, in her room, by her locker.
“Billy and Heather,” answers Vicky, and Steve nearly drops his chicken wing.
“Did you tell her?” he yelps, outraged and Robin merely rolls her eyes. Vicky merely smiles apologetically.
“She has eyes, Steven,” Robin points out, rather meanly. “I think everyone has noticed.”
“No, they haven’t,” Steve counters pathetically. He’s definitely not that obvious. His friends might be obvious but he’s not. Jonathan’s feelings for Nancy were obvious from space and Robin would start chattering like some anxious tweety bird every time Vicky set foot near her but he’s not like that. He’s Steve. He's cool.
“Who’s noticed what?” Dustin asks, taking large, clumsy steps into the middle of the group. Chrissy whisks a cup of Pepsi out of the way just before he sends it flying.
“Steve’s crush on Billy,” Robin says before Steve can kick her, thoroughly ensuring that everyone now knows. Dustin reaches the other side of their circle and drops down next to Steve.
“Everyone knows that,” Dustin says, as though it’s old news and Steve covers his face with his hands.
“Everyone?” he asks, barely able to look at Nancy. It’s been several years now since their break up and into their tentative friendship, but out of an unspoken agreement they just don’t talk about stuff like that. She never talks about her relationship with Jonathan. He never talks about his dates with Heidi or Lucy or Sabrina or all of the other not-quite-replacements for her.
Billy doesn’t feel like a replacement. He feels like something new.
“We talk about it in the cabin when you’re doing your hair,” Dustin says, bluntly and Steve groans. Christ, every night all fucking summer he’s used the bathroom last when the kids are all asleep. Apparently, they’ve aired opinions on his love life instead, faking sleep the minute his foot hits the porch. “Can we have ice cream now?”
“Did you finish?” Robin asks sternly, her big-sister need for proper nutrition kicking in. She peers over Vicky’s head to look at the kids' plates, all seemingly empty. “Jesus Christ, Max, you can’t hide the bits you don’t like under the bench!” Robin scrambles up to run damage control but Dustin stays, seeming quite content to hang out with the big kids. Steve would never tell anyone - and while he loves all of his kids, from Max’s stubbornness to Lucas’ goofy jokes to Will’s sweetness - Dustin is by far his favorite.
“Did you really?” asks Steve quietly, letting Dustin pick a spare sausage off his plate. Jealousy and resentment and loneliness have soured his appetite.
“Well, yeah,” Dustin says, mid chew and not closing his mouth. “But nothing bad. We just think you’re an idiot for not asking him out.”
“Great,” Steve sighs and hands Dustin his plate. “I’ll just add it to my total.”
“Why haven’t you asked him out?” Eddie pipes up curiously, because it’s a valid question and clearly not a problem he’s had, judging by the way Chrissy is curled up into his side.
You’d think it would. Because he’s Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson and she’s Queen Chrissy. When they head back home, Eddie will return to his job at the local comic book shop and Chrissy will head off for college. And yet, neither of them seem to let it stop them.
Shit, Steve is going to have to make some major life changes if Eddie Munson is more emotionally mature than he is. Because he knows full well why he never got round to asking out Billy and she’s sitting on the other side of the circle, leaning against the guy she left him for. They’ll go to NYU together in the fall, where Nancy will be brilliant in journalism and Jonathan will take perfect shots and they’ll be that power couple everyone loves.
He can’t deal with Billy just being a summer romance. And he knows what will happen. The phone calls will become less and less. Billy would stop reading his texts. And before you know it, he’s met someone else, someone who’s there and not a million miles away in a dead end town.
He can’t do it again.
“I need a napkin,” Steve mutters, climbing to his feet and heading off to the table laden with spare cups, cutlery, napkins and sauces. He needs air and space and he really doesn’t need to be told what he should be doing again. He knows, okay?
He rubs his sticky fingers off with several napkins and lobs them into the nearby bin. Robin has returned to the group, having finally agreed that the kids have eaten enough for their well deserved ice cream. They’ve all clustered around the cart, shouting over the girl on duty there with requests for cherries and sprinkles. With Dustin back among his friends, Steve can finally see how much of an odd man out he’s been, how easily he slipped out. It doesn’t really mean anything, because they’re still his friends and Robin is always his person…but still. Maybe in another lifetime, Billy would be sitting next to him, instead of Heather.
As the sky takes on a softer hue, Steve shuffles over to the ice cream, because it’s still summer and no one said only the kids could have sundaes. But to his actual horror, Lindsay is no longer manning the cart.
“I thought Lindsay was on ice cream duty?” Steve says, dumbfounded, and Billy leans forward on the counter. A shiny silver pendant swings forward out of his polo shirt.
“She needed a break,” Billy says, easily. The lifeguards had been the ones put in charge of dishing up the ice cream, as the six of them didn’t have any designated kids. This had happened a fair few times over the summer, as Steve had shuffled his kids off to the tuck shop, only to find the man of his dreams sucking on a Twizzler at the counter. “I think your kids wore her out.”
“Yeah, they’re a lot,” Steve agrees. He’s heard this a lot the past two months. “Did Max shove a waffle cone up someone’s nose yet?”
“Night’s still young,” Billy says, with a shrug. He reaches out for an ice cream scoop and twirls it expertly. “Cone or cup?”
“I served ice cream last summer,” Steve says, out of nowhere and then wants to kick himself. “At the local mall,” he says, hurriedly. “Summer job. I mean, either’s fine.”
Oh shit. Maybe this is why everyone knows.
“Cone,” Billy says, mouth twitching. “I can offer chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, caramel, cookie dough, coffee…” He squints down at the labels. “I think this one’s mint?”
“No USS Butterscotch?” Steve jokes and Billy looks up at Steve with a smile so bright that it reminds Steve of the time he and Robin snuck out of their cabins early and climbed up the jungle gym to watch the sun come up.
“Ah, we’ve sold out,” Billy says regretfully, gesturing to the crowds of children dripping ice cream onto their clean clothes. “Little shits.”
“Coffee’s good,” Steve says, because he’d actually eaten the Butterscotch every day last summer and now the smell of it makes his stomach roll. Robin still won’t let him live it down. “And cookie dough, I guess?” Billy scoops one flavor and then the other into a waffle cone and presents it grandly to Steve as though it’s an Olympic trophy or something.
“Thanks,” Steve mutters, suddenly shy. This is a really good fucking chance - everyone else is preoccupied with their ice cream and the beginnings of the massive bonfire that Hopper’s in the process of building. Not even Robin has spotted them, not with Vicky looping their fingers together like that. This is their last chance to spend time with their friends like this and they know it.
It’s Steve’s last chance too.
But there’s something about Billy’s expectant face that stops him in his tracks. And Steve slowly realizes that he’s been standing here, holding his melting cone and gawking like some idiot for a full minute. Stomach churning, he mumbles a goodbye but as he turns away, Billy calls his name.
“Hey, Steve?” he says. “Want a cherry?”
Steve, in fact, does not want a cherry and doubts very much that it will go with coffee ice cream anyway. But it’s precious seconds with Billy, so he backtracks to the counter.
“Sure,” Steve says, wearily. But Billy doesn’t pull one from the tub. Instead he presses both hands firmly on the counter and leans over it to press a soft kiss to Steve’s mouth. Steve barely has time to appreciate Billy’s lips on his before it’s over.
“Okay?” he hears Billy ask and only then does Steve realize that he’s closed his eyes.
When he opens them, Billy’s eyes are curious, a little bit apprehensive. Like he’s worried he’s going to get kicked out of camp on the last day for kissing another counselor without asking, rather than this being the best moment of Steve’s whole fucking life.
“Yes?” Steve says, unsure why he phrased it as a question. “Why did you…?” Billy’s face drops a little, a worried twist to his mouth.
“Sorry,” he says, running a hand over his dirty blonde hair. He looks really upset now and somewhere in Steve’s barely functioning brain it occurs to him that maybe he should clarify that it’s not an action to be sorry for. “I should have asked. Shit, I’m so sorry. I’ve really liked you all summer and Max said….but I shouldn’t have believed her.”
“Max said what?” Steve says, twisting around to look for her. He now knows that the boys in his cabin talked about him and Billy but he wonders if maybe Robin’s cabin did too. Maybe Max noticed a lot more than just his feelings.
“Nothing,” Billy says, an embarrassed flush to his cheeks now. “I was being presumptuous and an idiot and…”
Steve’s brain starts working again, a few minutes too late. Because all he can hear is ‘I’ve liked you all summer’ and it just plays over and over on a relentlessly mocking loop.
“Wait, you’ve liked me all summer?” Steve asks, incredulously. Fuck, Robin’s right. He is an idiot and a chicken and a useless bisexual. “But Heather…”
“Is a mate?” Billy answers, looking adorably confused. “Fuck, Steve, I’ve liked you since that first day. I just thought…I mean, I should have known. Dustin told me you used to date Nancy.”
“We broke up years ago,” Steve says distantly, completely unaware of anything but the beautiful boy in front of him. Even the ice cream that’s slowly dripping down his hand barely registers. “She kind of cheated and broke my heart and since then I think I’ve been too afraid to fall in love again.”
“Right,” Billy says slowly, looking stupefied at this sudden load of information. “But are we going to be okay? I know I fucked up, but are we okay?”
Steve looks up at Billy. He thinks of all the chances he’s had this summer to be brave that he didn’t take. He thinks of Nancy, who loves Jonathan and never once looked back and of Eddie who put his heart out there and finally got the girl he’s loved since the 8th grade. So in the end it’s really easy to step around the counter to Billy and drop his ice cream straight in the bin without having taken one single bite.
“No, this isn’t okay,” Steve says honestly, because there’s no universe where he’s fine leaving this crushed looking Billy behind. Fuck his emotional trauma and fuck what comes next and especially fuck worrying about it.
This time when he kisses Billy he’s able to appreciate every second of it, the warmth of his mouth, the faint taste of cherries on his tongue. Billy’s hand curls around his waist and pulls them together, pressed skin to skin and the urge to lick Billy’s collarbones returns.
“I’m an idiot,” Steve sighs when they finally part, Billy’s mouth deliciously red in the fading light. “I thought you were straight.” Billy snorts loudly.
“Yes, my old man left me behind after the divorce because I’m so straight,” he says flatly, answering the unpleasant question of Billy’s home life. “I would have asked you sooner, I just figured that with Nancy and all, that you weren’t interested. I thought you were still hung up on her.” Steve hastily assesses a few of his actions this past summer.
“I think I have been,” he admits. “But not in that way. What she did really fucked me up. And even though I’ve been crazy about you since the day you got off the bus, I just thought that once you left for California again, it’d be the exact same thing all over again.” Billy swipes a thumb over Steve’s jaw, painfully gentle.
“I’m not Nancy,” he says, trailing his fingers down towards the bare skin revealed by Steve’s open collar. Goosebumps immediately spring up on Steve’s flesh and he wonders if now is the time to call in that favor with Robin so she can cover for him tonight. “And yeah, I know the distance isn’t great. But I don’t know if I’ll always stay in California, or if you’ll be in Hawkins. But I’ve spent all summer waiting for your cabin’s allotted swim time just so I could see you. I’m okay with waiting a bit longer.”
Steve just kisses him again and thinks that he’s going to try to do this as much as possible, until they have to leave the day after tomorrow. He tries not to think about the kisses he could have had this summer or the long year ahead, saving money so he can see Billy on holidays. Maybe Robin would consider moving to California. Maybe the end of this will hurt, but he’s not so afraid of it anymore.
They kiss hungrily, desperately, completely forgetting where they are and who might be watching until a furious tapping on the abandoned counter pulls them back to reality. Steve blinks at Lucas’ little sister, who is now impatiently tapping her fingernails.
“That’s probably a health hazard,” Erica says, tilting her head at them like they’re some sort of spectacle in a zoo. “But for another scoop of cookie dough, I won’t make a formal complaint.”
#harringroveweek#harringrove week#harringrove#modern au#summer camp#Billy Hargrove#steve harrington#robin buckley#edissy#jancy#hellcheer#Neil left susan after a few years#and left billy behind#billy is better for it#steve does sneak out of his cabin at night btw#so he and billy can make the most of it#it's a sort of open ending?#but I like to think that they make it work#and steve and robin and vicky#all move to california after a year#I really am thinking of a full length murder camp fic#I blame fear street
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Hi! How are you?
It’s currently 2:38am and I can’t sleep, so I was casually watching a video of a cake recipe and I instantly had an idea. So, imagine Chishiya seeing the reader making a cake, for example, Strawberry Crepe Cake (it was actually the cake of the recipe that I was watching), and realizing how much effort she puts into it, knowing that she made it just for him. It’s totally ok, if you don’t feel like writing I just thought it was a cute idea.
Love you, and stay safe! Oh and rest a lot!
Do I do anything besides resting lately? Haha xD
I’ve waited quite some time to finish this request, because I have actually tried out that recipe! It turned out surprisingly good despite being my first attempt, and if you have fun with baking, maybe you’ll want to try it out as well (:
In case you do, Kat even provided us with the recipe here.
Have fun reading!
The Strawberry Crepe Cake
The first thing Chishiya notices upon entering the apartment is the smell. The unmistakable note of vanilla flavor and flour, causing a feint dust to linger in the air of the kitchen.
Which looks like an absolute mess, although that’s not at all unusual when you decide to bake something. The whole countertop is covered in flour and ingredients as well as bowls are scattered everywhere, while you’re baking something in a pan and humming a feint melody. It almost looks like a pancake, just that it’s… pink?
“What are you doing there?” he asks upon getting closer to you, peeping over your shoulder to get a better look. Now he can definitely tell that it’s pancakes, and two of them are already cooling down on a plate next to the stove. Only that they’re not round but square, which is pretty unusual for pancakes. And he doesn’t recall owning a square pan anyway.
You lift your head with a smile and greet him with a quick kiss before you turn around the pancake. “Trying out an old family recipe of ours. I’ve done it plenty of times already, but never since we’ve moved together, so that needed to be changed.”
Chishiya hums, already delighted with the prospect of something sweet for dinner. You’re undeniably talented when it comes to cooking, and together with the fact that Chishiya is a sweet tooth, that’s a brilliant combination.
He scans over the countertop, where next to the bowl with the pink batter is some kind of cream, and then there’s a bowl filled with huge red strawberries. Obviously the dessert will contain them, and it’s getting better with every second. Moving to the side as inconspicuously as possible, Chishiya tries to get closer to the red sweets and has already stretched out his hand when the pancake turner hits him almost hard enough to be painful.
“Ah, ah, ah! I need them. All of them. No snacking allowed in my kitchen!”
“Your kitchen?” he replies with a smirk, retreating from the strawberries for now but not yet giving up on getting one. “Last time I checked, this was our shared property.”
You snort and put the finished pancake to the table before adding new batter to the pan. “Right now, this is my kitchen. My recipe, my kitchen. And my rules.”
While the pancake slowly bakes, Chishiya watches the rest of the kitchen. Not only does it look like a mess, but also like lots of work. Everything seems to be prepared already, although he has no idea so far what the end result will look like. There’s the pancakes, the strawberries, the cream, and a square cake mould without a bottom.
“What is this family recipe of yours, then?” he asks with a nod to all those utensils, and he wonders how long you’ve been preparing all this already. It looks like an hour of work minimum, and you don’t seem to be that far yet.
“Strawberry Crepe Cake.” As you finish another pancake and refill the pan, you brightly smile at Chishiya. “It’s fabulous, believe me! And I don’t have a single doubt that you’ll love it.”
That sounds interesting indeed. You have created so many things already, from cakes to pastries to sweets and back, but this has never been one of them. It makes Chishiya wonder why, because everything about it sounds good. He likes strawberries, he likes crepes, and he likes cakes. What could possibly go wrong? “We’ll see about that once it’s finished”, he smirks teasingly, barely avoiding another hit of the pancake turner.
There’s now five of the crepes, every single one looking perfect and resting on a huge plate to cool down. The sixth and last one is currently baking in the pan, and as Chishiya compares the size of the crepes to the baking mould, he’s sure that you won’t need all of them. Thus you shouldn’t mind a taste check, right?
While you’re occupied with turning the crepe, Chishiya reaches for one of the pink slices. But you move into the way faster than expected, blocking him from the plate. “Honey”, you sigh, “give up. I need everything here for the cake, thus no snacking this time. Isn’t there something else you want to do while I prepare this?”
No, he will get something to snack from this. He just has to find a good way to do so, and he shakes his head with a hum. “What – don’t tell me my presence is making you nervous? Are you afraid I’ll catch you making a mistake?”
You snort with a look in your eyes that is more than convinced you won’t ever make any mistakes with that recipe. After taking the last crepe out of the pan, you quickly turn around to breathe a kiss onto Chishiya’s lips. “Watch. But your hands stay off the counter, understood?”
He doesn’t answer, and you turn your attention back to baking. Chishiya watches with fascination how you coat the inside of the baking mould with plastic to make it higher, every move of your hands accurate and flawless. You test if the crepes have cooled down enough and give a satisfied nod when that seems to be the case, and quickly the first pink slice is placed at the bottom of the mould, becoming the base of the cake.
Only now does he recognize the decoration tube resting next to you, and you fill in the cream without spilling the tiniest bit. It seems like a handicraft for itself, and Chishiya knows everything you do here looks much easier than it actually is. Well, it is definitely easy for you, but you have done this dozens of times already.
With help of the decoration tube, you place a thin layer of cream onto the crepe before you cover it with another crepe. Chishiya could list many things he’d still have to do, but watching your calm hands is way too fascinating to do anything else. And the best of all: while you’re focused on placing the second crepe right, the strawberries are left completely unattended.
Chishiya moves swift and soundless, and the moment you realize what he has done, a huge red strawberry has already half disappeared in his mouth. It tastes fresh and incredibly sweet, indicating that those fruits have mostly been picked from your own garden and not from the market.
“Chis- aww, come on! What did I say about no snacking?” You try to pick the remaining half of the strawberry out of Chishiya’s hands, but he quickly swallows it down, his smirk almost as wide as his entire face.
“That was no snacking. It was a quality check”, he grins, stepping back so the pancake turner won’t reach him.
You roll your eyes and make sure to place the strawberries as close to the baking mould as possible to avoid any further incidents, but Chishiya doesn’t plan to snack away all your ingredients anyway. He just wanted one of those incredibly delicious looking strawberries, and he has been rewarded. Now he’s confident with watching and waiting for the cake to be finished – except for some potential leftovers, of course.
As you mutter something incomprehensible, you can’t hide the grin on your own face. You know Chishiya after all, and he knows that you’re not mad at him. Throwing a last glance towards him that tells him to stay away from now on, you cover the second crepe with cream, this time a thicker layer. Into this layer you place the first batch of strawberries, as close to each other as possible, and then fill out the remaining space with cream.
The whole procedure repeats: another crepe, a thin layer of cream, second crepe. Then cream, strawberries, cream. The top layer is made of the last two pink crepes and the cream remains are carefully spread over it all to give it a smooth appearance. The sweet scent of both the strawberries and the crepes lingers so heavy in the air now that Chishiya can hear the rumbling of his own stomach, waiting for the cake to be served in pleased anticipation.
“Three hours”, you explain while carefully placing the cake in the fridge, “then it’s ready to eat. Think you can survive that long?”
Chishiya shrugs, his eyes still glued to the now closed door of the fridge. “You barely leave me another chance, don’t you? Besides…”
His eyes have made out the bowl with a handful of strawberries still in it, and your laughter is almost as sweet as the fruits while you reach him the bowl. Only the smaller ones have been left, but the taste remains the same, and Chishiya picks up one after one while he watches how you begin to clean up the mess.
Almost one hour has he watched you now, plus the preparation time you spent before he arrived. That’s a long time for a simple dessert that will be eaten within a couple of minutes, and even though Chishiya would never admit that to you, it means a lot to him that you spend so much of your time to make something just for him. Plus the time that is needed to clean up the mess afterwards.
“You could lend me a hand, you know”, you mutter as you put the smaller bowls and jugs into the dishwasher and prepare hot water for the bigger utensils.
Chishiya, generous as he is, picks the towel from the counter and reaches it out for you to take. You do, but you have already seen through the smirk on his face.
“It was your idea, so you can take care of cleaning the kitchen. I’ll help you later when it comes to the actual taste test.”
“Yes. You’ll be a big help then”, you shoot back with another roll of your eyes. Chishiya doesn’t hear the rest of your complaints since he heads to his working desk to finally take care of all the things he still has to do today, although the next three hours don’t pass nearly as quickly as that one hour he has watched you create that cake. His eyes glance to the clock all the time, expecting the watch hands to have moved a huge distance when only a couple of minutes have passed. And his ears are always on alert, listening for any signs that you’re taking the cake out of the fridge, but all you do is open a bottle of juice or emptying the dishwasher once it’s finished.
Somehow, three hours go by, and Chishiya has even managed to be productive during that time. But when you call his name from the kitchen, he instantly drops everything back to the table and almost jumps back to his feet. Not that he’d ever show that much anticipation to you – once he enters the kitchen, he’s completely calm and composed. “What, is it time already? Don’t tell me you spent all of it cleaning up.”
Since there’s no pancake turner nearby, you aim the towel at him, which he catches easily. In the same moment you place the cake on the counter, the scent of strawberries and sugar returns, and so does he growl in Chishiya’s stomach.
You place your hands on the cake mould, ready to move it off, and Chishiya watches over your shoulder. “Careful; you’ll ruin it otherwise.”
“What”, you grin back to him, “you wanna do it instead?”
“Nothing’s calmer than the hands of a surgeon”, he replies and switches places with you. He doesn’t have any doubts that you would have done it perfectly, this is just the daily amount of tease and you both know it. He reaches for the cold mould anyway and carefully moves it upwards until it slips off the cake. So far, the plastic holds everything in place, and he removes it slice after slice, side after side. The construct holds since the cream has turned more solid due to the cold temperature, and when you eventually give him a large knife, Chishiya cuts off two equal pieces of the cake.
The edge cuts smoothly through both the crepes and the strawberries, and the whole thing looks almost too good to be eaten. Almost.
You help him place both pieces on plates and decorate it with powdered sugar, and with your free hand, you navigate him to the sofa. “I’ve made this only for you, and I hope you enjoy it”, you say with a bright smile and so much love in your eyes. Chishiya still doesn’t understand how you can love him in such a deep way, despite the person he is, but the love is there, every new day.
To appreciate what you did, he tastes a bit from the cake, and unsurprisingly, you didn’t disappoint. The crepes make an interesting contrast to the soft cream, which isn’t that sweet at all compared to the flavorful strawberries. It’s perfect. Probably even the best dessert you have created so far. Chishiya hums and a second spoon follows immediately, while you watch him and wait for a reaction.
He gives it with an approving nod. “It’s good, yes. Just one little thing…” With the spoon, he lifts up the lowest slice of pink crepe to show it to you, “those taste great, but… let’s be honest. They do look like ham.”
#chishiya#chishiya shuntaro#aib chishiya#chishiya x reader#oneshot#alice in borderland#aib#imawa no kuni no alice
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Hi do you think you do the 4 lords reaction to finding out their GN s/o has a shadow demon that goes wherever they go and some time find the 2 of them playing board games
Hiii!! okay important note here! i decided to go a little off topic (sorry) for the purpose of a part 2 where the lord’s s/o will be an angel!! of course still gender neutral and there will be a shadow demon but the s/o will be a demon that hasn’t fully formed yet!
i’ve been really uninspired lately so this probably isn’t my best! i apologise :((
Devil or Angel? Pt.1
General HC’s
It was strange how quickly your life had changed. One morning you were just a normal villager in some godforsaken town in the middle of nowhere Romania and the next day you woke up from the cold dirty ground with a pair of huge dark wings and sharp nails.
You had been exploring some of the woodlands surrounding the village, looking for a water source which was running low when a dark figure came barrelling towards you. It felt like hours, when really it was only a few seconds of sharp searing pain. Maybe it was a bad idea to leave the village alone.
You didn’t die however, or maybe you did? You weren’t quite sure what was happening to your body. All you knew was it must have been something supernatural to make the huge black wings appear.
“Looks like you finally woke up! Do you know how fucking boring it is just waiting for you to wake up?”
You screamed in terror at the large demonic creature floating above you. It was surrounded by a cloud of black mist with red eyes that pierced through its silhouette. It had a large wicked smile aligned with sharp teeth and a set of wings that matched your own.
Behind those eyes was something much more human however, in fact it looked rather bored.
“Who, or what are you?! And mind that language!”
The creature only laughed at you, amused by the whole situation which bothered you beyond compare.
“Well I’m a demon, if I didn’t swear you’d probably think me an angel with these playful charms I posses! And to be more specific I’m your demon, it seems you fell prey to one of the other demons condemned to this world it’s quite the tragedy really.”
You were shocked at just how easily this creature, this demon talked to you. As if it was a completely normal morning and life in the village had not changed at all.
“Oh don’t act so shocked, you medieval villagers have been worshiping my kind for a lot longer than that Mother Miranda. You’re one of us now!”
Surprisingly over time the creature, who’d you’d nicknamed “red” for their glowing eyes, was slowly growing on you. You might even call them a friend.
Sure Red was cocky as all hell and didn’t hesitate to cause trouble amongst the village but they became very protective over you and showed you the ropes on life as a demon.
Life can get kinda boring when you’re practically immortal and so you and red pass the time playing old Romanian board games and solitaire. When village life got really boring you even stooped so low to play go fish together.
A lot of the time you cause mischief in and around the village while Red was practically the devil on your shoulder, egging you on to stir the pot. The lycans were particularly enjoyable to taunt.
Regardless of everything, you couldn’t see yourself without Red and to lose them would crush you. There had been one too many nights when you’d chat about everything and nothing until you fell asleep curled up underneath your wings.
That was when you felt a protective wing curl around you, one that wasn’t your own.
“Always gotta fall asleep on me don’t you, huh? Don’t worry, I’ll have you partying all night before you know it kiddo.”
Alcina Dimitrescu
It started out as a stupid dare when Red dared you to sneak into Castle Dimitrescu and steal the Lady’s lipstick after hearing the village gossip that it was expensive.
You did not expect however to get caught in the hallway, starting straight up into the eyes of Alcina Dimitrescu, a stuttering and blushing mess. It was something that Red would tease you for until eternity ended.
After winning her favour, both you and Red were invited to stay in the Castle with Alcina and her daughters. She thought you were much better company than her brother and her affluent but gothic lifestyle totally appealed to you.
As it turns out you and Alcina had a lot more in common, both being creatures of a supernatural nature. You enjoyed the lazy afternoons curled up on the couch, a glass of maidens blood in your hand as she gentle stroked the back of her hand against your wings.
You had the finest outfits that matched your black wings perfectly and everything was tailor made so you were comfortable.
Red taught you how to fly so you were able to use your wings to be at eye level with Alcina which was perfect for hugs and kisses.
It turns out that Red is a great babysitter for the girls and keeps them entertained with hunting maidens and chasing them around the Castle while you and Alcina can spend some time together.
Donna Beneveinto
At first, Donna is truly scared of you and Red much like how you were in the beginning. But eventually, with the help of Angie she saw that you were not going to harm her.
You loved to spend time with Donna and watch her make her dolls or sew her dresses. Sometimes Red will come back with Angie from a day of causing trouble to find you reading to her another encyclopaedia of plants. Her head is resting on your chest and your wings are wrapped around her protectively while you read.
Your favourite thing to do together is to take Donna into your arms and fly to the top of the mountain where the waterfall begins and watch the sunset together. She’ll always have a deathly grip on your hand the whole time even though you’ve reassured her that you’d never drop her.
One time when you leaned in and gave her a kiss, a rather loud noise was heard from the corner and interrupted you.
“EWWW you guys are too cute!! All that lovey-dovey stuff makes me sick!”
Red is standing to the side with Angie on their shoulder who is sitting there making her own dramatic faces. One of Angie’s wooden hands covers Red’s eyes while the other is held on her forehead as if the kiss was enough to kill her.
Besides from their comment both Angie and Red act like your wing man for your relationship with Donna. They absolutely love you two together and have set up many dates for the two of you.
Salvatore Moreau
You meet Salvatore Moreau one day when you’re at the reservoir playing hide and seek in the near by mines with Red.
As it’s your turn to hide you end up ducking between some planks to find a tv set up and a small couch. Sitting in the middle of it happens to be someone you now know as Sal.
He thought you were going to kill him at first, hiding his face in his hands but very slowly after some months he saw that you weren’t a threat.
Over this time trying to convince Sal that you weren’t going to hurt him and trying to spend more time with him, Red took the opportunity to tease you for your crush.
“I think someone’s in got a little crush hmm??”
Eventually you become very close with Sal and the two of you will playfully chase each other at the reservoir. Sal will swim just below the surface while you fly just above it and your fingers brush together just where the water meets the air.
One time when you were chasing Red around the rooftops of the old village, you slipped and fell into the water, something that your large feathery wings did not enjoy and Red had to pull you out.
You ended up bundled on the couch with Sal, a bunch of blankets around you as your wings dried out. It took forever and you ended up a giant bundle of fluffy feathers but Sal thought you looked adorable.
Karl Heisenberg
Karl caught you and Red taunting the lycans when he went to check on them at their den one day. At the site of you two he raised an eyebrow and proceeded to light a cigar.
“I think you two may be lost, don’t you know it’s dangerous out here?”
You can hear the sarcasm in his voice and you spread your wings out to be intimidating, Red’s black mist behind you adding to it.
“Indeed it is very dangerous out here, I’d hate for you to get hurt.”
It was then when the three of you burst into a fit of laughter knowing that you were the strongest creatures in these woods and nothing could really hurt either of you.
Both you and Karl had a mischievous side and spent a lot of time causing trouble for his sister in her Castle.
It was fun to spend time with Karl and you both grew rather close. He even trusted you enough to let you help him on some of his plans and designs.
Red was particularly fond of the idea of killing Mother Miranda.
“Ooh when she’s gone can I have my picture put back up?! Pretty please!”
Karl designed his soldats with a red glowing chest plate that reminded him of your red glowing eyes which now matched Red’s.
While Karl will deny it forever, he’s completely in awe of you and finds you absolutely breathtaking. He can’t get over how soft your wings are and always cuddles up to you complaining that it’s cold even though it’s sweltering hot in the factory.
One day Karl took you by surprise and kissed you gently but with a degree of confidence which took him months to find. You melted into him and wrapped your arms around him securely, completely forgetting Red who’s hovering in the room.
“Guys I hate to break it to you but I’m kinda third wheeling here…”
Needless to say, Red third wheeled a lot and ended up befriend Sturm as an alternative to watching you guys make out.
#alcina dimitrescu#alcina dimitrescu x reader#lady dimitrescu#lady dimitrescu x reader#karl heisenberg#karl heisenberg x reader#donna beneviento#donna beneviento x reader#salvatore moreau#salvatore moreau x reader#resident evil village#resident evil headcanons#resident evil 8#resident evil#asks#prompt
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Congrats again on 2K. i’m so happy for you ❤️
For the emojis: 🔥☕️🚧
For the character: Jax, i feel like those emojis have a Jax vibe
Thanks for your request for my Emoji Fic Fest! And thanks for the congrats! 💗
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Roadblocks Don’t Suck
Pairing: Jax Teller x F!Reader Warnings: smut, swearing, car sex (quick & rough, light choking, Jax’s leather gloves (they’re a whole kink)) Word Count: ~1.4k Emoji Prompt: 🔥☕️🚧 (key words are in bold)
Jax Teller is a lot of things. Pussy-whipped isn’t one of them, but somehow when you ask for things he gives in to a ton of them. On some level in his alpha male soul that sort of stings.
He’s in the driver’s seat grumpy and grumbling like a five-year-old. You’re really in the driver’s seat with all the power that you hold, over the prince of Charming, destined to be king.
He lights a cigarette. The little flame matches his mood flickering sharply with resentment and regret, that he had caved to what you said.
“How’s your goddamn coffee,” he snaps, bitter and full of sass. Gruffly, to hide the fact that you can turn him into such a goddamn softie.
“It’s fucking lovely,” you proclaim, taking another sip and gloating without shame. This morning you’d asked Jax to drive your car to where the two of you are headed, rather than taking his Harley as he typically prefers instead. You wanted to sit comfortably with your coffee and finish up the book you’ve almost fully read.
He doesn’t know yet you were also hoping you could give him road head.
“Fuck!” Jax suddenly rasps as he steps on the brake just when you reach the end of your book, causing you to look up out the windshield in shock. It’s just a bit of bad traffic but your man sounds as furious as if your car was hit by a damn truck. “Ugh, there’s a fucking roadblock. This shit fucking sucks.”
Jax really just can’t deal with traffic at a standstill. He is seething, heavy breathing, living proof that looks can kill.
Glimpse flashing lights and obstacles with slanted black and yellow stripes to mark construction that’s in progress up ahead. Prince Fuming grits his bright white teeth around his cigarette like he wants someone dead. Possibly you. “See, bitch if we were on my bike I could’ve just driven right through…”
“Would you just stop? Here, I’ll give you a handjob,” you decide, casting your finished paperback off to the side. Sometimes—a lot of times—you’d rather make Jax Teller cum than hear him talk. “Shut up, just sit back and enjoy your smoke and let me stroke your cock.”
“What are we, fifteen-year-old kids? You’ll grab my dick and let me grope your tits?” he laughs, as you reach in his jeans to grip and squeeze his massive shaft. “Get down and suck.”
You take your hands out of his pants and cross your arms over your chest tightly, to tell him no such luck. “Maybe I would have if you’d asked nicely, you bossy little fuck.”
“You love it when I’m bossy.” Jax is well aware that his dominance gets you wet and juicy. “Know it hits you in your kinky little pussy.”
“You don’t know shit about my kinks,” you lie.
“You think?” he challenges with a dark glimmer in his eye. The heat of hell behind his smile. Glances out the window at the standstill traffic and decides to put the car in park so he can make this goddamn ride worthwhile.
Asking nicely isn’t really Jax’s style.
You can act like you don’t want it but there’s no point in denial. Every goddamn thing about him drives you wild.
When he wants something he takes it—bends your will to fight him off and fucking breaks it—snaps a finger and you’re naked—he makes sure you want it wholeheartedly too—but that shit’s never hard to do.
He always has you spouting off a senseless stream of oh God Jesus Christ Jax yes fuck yes in two seconds or less. Knows he’s your ever-living weakness. Face you see when you scream Jesus. Knows you’re his to play with any way he pleases. Knows just what buttons to press, to get his girl to be a wet whimpering mess.
Has you spread out on the backseat, shaking in heat, as he strips off your summer dress. Stays fully clothed because he knows it’s fucking torture when he doesn’t let you cleave against the smooth skin of his chest. Settle for clutching at the leather of his vest. The leather Jax Teller wears best.
Or is it…? Though you’ve never mentioned this before, Jax saw the sparkle in those pretty eyes of yours, when you watched his hands on the steering wheel clad in his leather gloves and thought that shit’s fucking exquisite.
To be honest it’s ridiculous that he’d wear leather gloves to drive a car. Today’s ride isn’t even far. You know it’s just so he can feel more like he’s riding on his Harley and it’s dumb as fuck but you don’t care about that given what a slut you are. Jax in the leather of his kutte is hot enough—but these damn gloves… they have you seeing fucking stars…
You’d wanted him to push your head deep in his lap while you bent down to suck him off. Feeling the smooth warmth of the leather in your hair and on your cheeks as you devoured his enormous cock and showered it with love.
He’d like that very fucking much, without a doubt, but in this moment he would rather see your gorgeous glowing face than have it buried in his crotch. More in the mood to fuck your pussy than your mouth. He wants to watch, the way your inner slut is spinning out—surrenders to his touch… the way your features melt, descending into ecstasy past anything you’ve ever fucking felt… as he traces his thumb across your bottom lip with one hand while the other frames your hips—taking you in his leather grip—tight as a belt, sharp as a whip.
And it’s insane the way it makes your pussy drip. Your brain is on a fucking trip. Can leather get you fucking pregnant? On the road the traffic’s still completely stagnant, but your man will have to get back in the driver’s seat again soon once the cars begin to move. There’s not a lot of time to get into the groove. No time for fun and games and foreplay—just a frantic feral fuck here on the freeway—love and lust one and the same to make and take when you two have nothing to prove.
Outside of sex, you know that it’s your job as Jax Teller’s old lady to continually kick his ego down a couple pegs. But it’s a different fucking story when he’s hovering above you and all set to shove his meat into the aching soaking heat between your legs.
A piece of prey for him to eat. To read your body as it breaks and burns and begs. Jax is the undisputed king when he has you spread in his bed or the backseat. And as his leather-clad hand wraps around your throat you gasp at how it feels so sweet because you know what’s coming next…
He applies just the perfect pressure and oh fuck you’ve never felt such perfect pleasure.
You can feel his power pouring through the leather. You can feel it pounding through your blood, as he plows deep inside your pulsing cunt, that fucking instant, with a savage fucking grunt, rock hard as he drives home and hits a flood, ‘cause you’ve never been wetter. You’re his fucking slut. Forever.
Two or three bucks of his hips—he sucks the prayer of his name off of your lips—tightens that leather fucking grip—your grip on consciousness begins to fucking slip…
Just came undone, though this had only just begun. He spills inside you that same second and you’re both sprawled on the seat sex-dumb and drunk.
Two seconds later all the cars outside decide to fucking honk.
He really doesn’t give a fuck. You’re both so bulldozed by the love you made you probably wouldn’t notice if this steamy little car of yours got totaled by a truck. Honk all they want for all you care—the two of you are far beyond the world out there—you’re stuck in heaven with no plans to come unstuck.
Maybe try fucking one more time to piss off everyone outside and push your luck.
Jax reads your mind because it’s his. Leather glove soft around your throat now as he smiles through a cigarette-and-coffee-flavored kiss. “Maybe roadblocks don’t suck.”
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Emoji Fic Masterlist
Emoji Fic Tag List – below; if you’d like to be added or removed, just let me know!
@happyhunnams @band--psycho @est11 @edonaspanca @starbooty @innerpaperexpertcloud @i-love-scott-mccall @six-camelot @alexa-rae-dreamz @coffeebooksandfandom @thesuicidalflower @flaireandsynch @helloheyhihowdyheya @gemini0410 @waywardodysseys @zozebo @bettergetusetoit @emilykjh @little-diable @rocketqueen @mrspeacem1nusone @miss-smutty @rayslittlekitten @abby-splace @chubbychubbs28 @miraclesoflove @tegggeeee @hunnambabe @missusnora @kesskirata @vixenrebellion @thexhostess @pomegranatearildreams @kandii395 @severewobblerlightdragon @itspdameronthings @niki-xie @cind-in-real-life @saweetspoiled @poge-life @few-proud-emotonal @samanthaisnthome @melodranas @soaharleys @charlie-hunnams-old-lady @simpmasterjr @nataliewalker93 @lovebarefootblonde @marvelousmermaid @tsukuyomi011 @sciapod
#jax teller#sons of anarchy#soa#charlie hunnam#jax teller smut#sons of anarchy smut#soa smut#charlie hunnam smut#jax teller imagine#sons of anarchy imagine#soa imagine#charlie hunnam imagine#jax teller fanfiction#sons of anarchy fanfiction#soa fanfiction#charlie hunnam fanfiction#jax teller x reader#jax teller x you#charlie hunnam x reader#charlie hunnam x you#emoji fics
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ghosts just wanna have fun; m
⤷ When Jungkook discovered that he could communicate with dead people, the last thing he expected was that they would be there to give him romantic advice.
✓ Couple: Jungkook x Reader | Psychic!AU & MedSchool!AU
✓ Filed under: fluff, crack (so many ghost puns), light smut (and jungkook being a nervous virgin)
✓ Words: 20,062
Author’s Note: In which Jungkook is able to see spirits, but it’s just Taehyung and Yoongi giving him dating tips because he sucks at talking to girls. Hope you guys like it, because it has been on my WIPS for over a year and a half and I can’t believe it’s finally out there... emotional, really.
Also, huge thanks to @storytaeme, who proof-read this mess like a champ.
There aren’t many embarrassing situations that can overcome the fact that Jeon Jungkook found out about his psychic abilities as he was about to lose his virginity.
To say the least, that hadn’t been the most pleasant of scenarios to open the pathway to the afterlife. Really, there was no casual way that he could justify the scream that broke from his lips, or the dramatic spin he took as he turned around on the bed — which, ultimately, had him falling into the small space between the nightstand and the wall, with his legs up in the air, and his butthole fully exposed for both planes of existence to see.
Still, that hadn’t been the worst part. If those two pallid silhouettes had merely disappeared once he had seen them, it wouldn’t have been as traumatic — perhaps Jungkook could have found a semi-believable excuse about what he had witnessed — but no. Not only did the ghosts remain there, with their arms crossed before their achromatic clothes and eyebrows slightly raised in expectation, they continued their conversation as if nothing had happened.
“Oh, he was definitely going to put it in the wrong hole,” the shorter of the two murmured, clearly entertained at the idea.
The other scoffed. “What if he did?” he threw back. “Maybe he likes that, we can’t judge.”
Truth was that, one way or another, Jungkook couldn’t even figure out what he liked — he didn’t even get the chance. He was gone from his (ex) girlfriend’s place before his brain could even attempt to construct a plausible explanation, even less to digest what had preceded that unfortunate revelation. Now, the wrong hole would forever be a source of trauma for him.
And the problems didn’t exactly stop there. Ever since his cherry-popping session was interrupted, Jungkook hadn’t been able to move further than the first base, thinking that he would embarrass himself all over again or, worse, be frightened by a random demon passing by. Also, the constant mockery of his ghostly counterparts certainly didn’t help his concentration.
The worst part? Helping Jungkook was kind of their whole point. And they couldn’t even do that right.
Taehyung and Yoongi were their names — they told him right after the first night he saw them. Jungkook didn’t know what had happened in the afterlife that they had been punished with such a horrendous mission and, frankly, at that point, he was too afraid to ask.
“But I don’t need your help,” Jungkook had said after one particularly bad date, dramatically throwing himself onto his bed. The furniture creaked under his weight and he wondered if it would snap before his mind did. “I just want you to leave me alone or, I don’t know, help me with something else — something useful.”
The two ghosts were by his desk, looking at his class notes and, at that comment, Yoongi raised his eyebrows. “Useful? Like what?” He asked.
“I don’t know, solving crimes or something,” Jungkook mumbled, turning around so he would face the wall. God, he just needed two seconds alone.
Behind him, Taehyung laughed. “You don’t even know how to open a bra, and you're out there thinking of reopening cold cases? Give me a break.”
“Ouch,” Jungkook whispered. Maybe another time, it would’ve hurt his pride a bit more. That night, however, he was too tired to care. “For your information, I do know how to open a bra. You two just started whispering and it distracted me.”
“We were whispering to you the instructions on how to open a bra,” Yoongi responded. “Would you need those if you knew what you were doing? No.”
Jungkook sighed. “I just—”
“This conversation is done, we went over this already.” Yoongi interrupted. “You need us, whether you want it or not. You’re painfully bad at romance, Jungkook, even worse at initiating sex. I’ve never seen something like that before.”
At that, Jungkook rolled on the bed and faced them. There was only one light in his bedroom that was on — the table lamp — and its clear orange shade passed through them both in an odd mixture of contours and lines. “Maybe if I could do it myself, without you two buzzing around the place, it wouldn’t be so bad,” he responded, aggressive.
“Calm down. You were already bad enough when we arrived,” Taehyung told him, leaning over to see all the scattered pages on his desk. He frowned once he saw something he couldn’t quite understand, and quickly turned away from it. “Nothing changed much.”
“Right!” Jungkook sat up on the bed. “Isn’t that enough of a sign for you two to stop trying to help me, then?”
“No,” Yoongi said calmly. “That’s a sign that we have to try harder. And so do you.”
He sneered. “I absolutely don’t.”
“Yes, you absolutely do,” he said. “You know what? Grab your phone and get yourself a date with that girl you like from physiology class. Two weeks from now.”
There was a second of silence as Jungkook’s mind struggled to piece the idea together. He wasn’t even sure about who Yoongi was referring to, there were a lot of girls in his class. “What? Why?”
“Just trust us. She’s into you,” Yoongi spoke.
Taehyung nodded in agreement. “It’ll work out.”
Jungkook scoffed. “When does it, really?”
“This time, it will,” Taehyung said. “Really. Do it.”
“Fine.” He breathed out, reaching for his phone. “What girl?”
Yoongi looked him up and down. “You know what girl.”
With a deep breath, Jungkook scrolled over his contact list, struggling to find someone that he would have even the slightest chance with. Truth was, he has no fucking clue of which one of the hundred and fifty people in his class would even look in his direction, much less go on a date with him.
“You do know… right?” Taehyung asked, clearly worried. “We can’t really give you names, but you… know, right?”
“What? Oh, yeah, yeah! Sure I do!” Jungkook laughed nervously, clicking on a random name and opening a chat. “Here, I’m sending her a text right now. No reason to worry… no reason at all.”
“Good,” Yoongi said, distracted. “Now, if you need us, we’ll be watching Gone Girl with your neighbors. We already missed the start of the movie, and I’m pissed off as it is.”
Taehyung nodded. “Amazing movie,” he said. Jungkook pressed send and prayed for the best. “We should have more movie nights over here.”
Yoongi said something in agreement and, in a second, they were already gone. Jungkook was left alone in his bedroom, with the light of his lamp casting over his features the desperation that he was feeling inside.
“This better work,” he mumbled to himself. “You two better not be trying to embarass me.”
_____________
And then, two weeks later, Yoongi and Taehyung were laughing at him as his last failed attempt at romance got up from her chair and basically ran away from him.
Yoongi leaned back against the chair, his ankles crossed over the large table. If someone else could see him then, he surely would have received a few complaints about keeping the mall under semi-sanitary conditions. “Jungkook, I’ll tell you something,” he started, clearly amused. “You’re so bad at romance that I wish I was alive just so I could punch some reason into you.”
Taehyung, who had stayed mostly quiet during the painfully awkward interaction, walked beside Jungkook and chuckled at his distress. Still, he was focused on the other ghost, and the implication of his speech. “That amount of violence is the exact reason why you’re no longer alive, Yoongi,” he pointed out, then turned to Jungkook before he could smirk at the reprehension. “But really, that was awful. If I weren’t spiritually tied to you, I would’ve given up by now. You’re hopeless.”
“Completely out of it,” Yoongi added. “Do you even know how women work?”
Jungkook rolled his eyes, and reached for his phone: there was no way he would enter a discussion with those invisible pricks in a public situation without something to mask it. Not that it would have been the first time.
Yoongi materialized on the seat next to Jungkook, his head leaning against his hand. The boy was already used to those sudden changes of position, but that didn’t mean that he liked it. In fact, after Taehyung had appeared next to him during a particularly bad time — in which the incognito tab had already been opened, and a bottle of lotion already waited for him — he could never erase the intense panic of such experiences.
But of course, Yoongi knew that, and he used his discomfort for his own entertainment. “You can’t ignore us, kiddo,” he said slowly, clearly amused. “And you can’t ignore the fact that you’ll die alone, surrounded by cats, if you don’t start listening to what we have to say. We have been tied to you for a reason.”
“And the reason,” Taehyung added, “is to make you stop cockblocking yourself.”
With a subdued groan, Jungkook pressed his phone against his ear — an old trick that allowed for him to have a conversation without being seen as clinically insane by passersby. “You two are the reason why this date went downhill,” he told them. “You told me to say all the wrong things. You two set this up knowing I’d fail.”
“Oh, no.” Taehyung shook his head in disagreement. “The words were right. Your delivery was awful.”
“Western-movie-awful,” Yoongi added. “And if you want to change that, you have to trust us.”
“Trust you? Where has that taken me?” Jungkook questioned, irritated. “You’re the reason why I lost my first girlfriend and haven’t had another one ever since.”
Yoongi chuckled. “The girl from the first night? She never talked to you again after that, did she?” He asked, but, of course, he already knew the answer. “Damn, that was cringe-worthy. Butt in the air and everything.”
“No need to remind me, I was there.” Jungkook clenched his jaw, trying to control his demeanor. It wasn’t fair that there was not much that he could do to make the two men shut up — since they were, quite literally, already dead, he didn’t have many threats to utter. “And whose fault was that?”
“Technically, yours.” Taehyung shrugged. “We didn’t present ourselves to you, you just saw us all of a sudden. We were just as surprised.”
“Besides, you were the one that had the B.F.,” Yoongi added.
Jungkook raised one eyebrow. “B.F.?”
“Bitch fit,” Taehyung elucidated. “He watched White Chicks with your neighbors last night, don’t worry about it.”
Jungkook groaned, pressing his hand against his face. Of course — the cherry on top would be outdated pop references, as expected. Yoongi had always been quite fond of the classic ‘with great power comes great responsibility’, and Jungkook thought that the overuse of that quote would be the ultmost reason for his insanity. Nevertheless, he came to understand that it was nothing compared to movies like White Chicks or even Legally Blonde. He would rather hear Uncle Ben’s famous line a billion times over before Yoongi accused him of having a B.F. once more.
He took a deep breath and tried to focus on the environment around him. The murmurs and disembodied conversations around the mall had morphed into the sound of irritating insects, and he felt as if the earth could just open up and eat him alive. He probably committed a terrible crime in a past life to be stuck with Tweedledee and Tweedledum like that.
“Anyways,” Jungkook stressed, “it didn’t seem like the two of you were surprised that I could see you. You just kept… talking about me. And my ass.”
Taehyung chuckled. “You were the one with the ass up in the air.” He vanished, then materialized in the seat in front of Jungkook. “What were we supposed to do? Ignore it?”
“It was an easy target,” Yoongi spoke, then seemed to realize the words that had left his mouth. “Wait, I didn’t mean the double interpretation.”
“Why can’t the two of you just fucking help me for once?” Jungkook asked aggressively. In a nearby table, one old man raised his eyes from his vegan burger and stared the boy up and down in disapproval. Jungkook lowered his voice and switched his phone to the other ear. “This is unbearable. You two are only making it worse.”
With a gesture that Jungkook knew all too well, Taehyung used his thumb to point over his shoulder, towards the path that his failed date had followed. “That one wasn’t good enough for you,” he said nonchalantly. “We can tell. We know stuff.”
“Then why did you set this up in the first place?” He asked, exasperated.
“As DJ Khaled says, you played yourself,” Yoongi cited. One more reference and Jungkook would be the one joining the world of the dead. “It’s not our fault that you get nervous and can’t deliver the lines right. When have the two of us ever failed?”
“When you died,” he spoke back. “Or did you forget the stupid mistake you made?”
Yoongi hesitated. As much as he tried to play it cool, he wasn’t the smartest one around. In fact, his tragically premature death was all the evidence Jungkook needed to make his point clear.
During his living days, Yoongi was pretty invested in rock climbing. On a beautiful summer afternoon, just as the sun was setting over the green-bathed hills, one of his friends dared him to bungee jump from the same cliff they had just climbed, and were standing on. Of course, the man agreed promptly, saying that he wouldn’t back out from such a mundane task; stating repeatedly that the fall wouldn’t be so high up anyway. But that wasn’t the turning point: Min Yoongi, in all his adventurousness, quickly decided that his local shop was too expensive and that he would create his own bungee jump cord instead.
According to him, making the cord proved itself to be quite an easy task. He had gotten some help from his local adrenaline addicts and the final product was a very good copy of the factory-made ones. He measured the cliff twice just to be certain, compared it to the rope, and made sure to test the sustentation and elasticity as many times as he could.
Still, Yoongi had overlooked an imperative detail: he shouldn’t use a cord that was the same height as the cliff he was jumping from.
Needless to say, he only realized his mistake once he was already dead.
Yoongi scoffed at the memory, ignoring his hurt pride. He swore he could still feel his back hurting when he thought about that. “That isn’t the point,” he said. He often did that: changed the subject once he realized he couldn’t leave with the upper hand. “The point is that you keep delivering lines like you’re a bad boy in a South American novela, then expect us to perform a miracle on you.”
Jungkook frowned, lowering his head. “That’s actually so wrong.”
But the problem was: Yoongi was right, and Jungkook knew it. In fact, that had been the exact reason why his date had left him that night — the boy had misunderstood Taehyung’s advice to play off as a mysterious man, and instead projected his image somewhere between a psychopath and a person that had only K-dramas as a basis of how human interactions were supposed to work. Jungkook missed his attempts at romance the entire time, but the breaking point was when Yoongi told him to act as a bad influence because, according to him, girls dig a good bad boy.
Once again, Yoongi wasn’t the brightest mind when it came to risk-taking. That was why he was more dead than Jungkook’s bedroom.
Jungkook, however, did not realize his own errors until it was too late. He had chuckled at his date’s embarrassment, using his opening to delicately place her hair behind her ear. “I’m going to tell you something,” he started, voice swift and placid as a river. With his eyebrows raised and his lips vaguely forming a pout, he looked like an off-brand version of Handsome Squidward. “I’m not really a good influence, and surely not the kind of guy you’d like to get with. So why don’t you do me a favor and follow the simple orders I give you, uh?”
Her eyes had widened in a mixture of second-hand embarrassment and fear. From the corner of his eyes, Jungkook saw her reaching for her purse over the table. “No, thank you,” she was quick to say. “I don’t think this will work, sorry. I’ll see you around college.”
And that’s how they ended at that point. The point they always seemed to end up in.
“I think I need a break from all of this,” Jungkook said, closing his eyes for a moment of peace. “I have a huge test next week and I couldn’t even study for it because of all the preparation for this stupid date. Can you two just take a step back? Just for a little while. Romance can’t be all that I think about.”
As he opened his eyes, he saw Taehyung staring at him. He couldn’t really read his expression.
And, without an answer, the two of them vanished.
_________________
If someone asked Jungkook why the hell he thought going to medical school was a good idea, he’d simply say that, at the time, it made sense. After all, he had thought, he’d be some sort of super-doctor, since he had an exclusive VIP pass to the afterlife — just imagine how many people he would be able to help just by asking a friendly ghost what was wrong with a patient. It would be a game-changer. He could even find the cure of cancer if he tried hard enough.
But of course, he quickly realized that he should’ve thought further about his decision. Maybe being a detective would have made much more sense — it would have been a lot cheaper, that’s for sure, and he wouldn’t have to sit through almost twelve hours of classes every single day for a diploma that seemed to be too far away for him to care.
That particular class, however, wasn’t the worst one out there.
It was Tuesday, and Tuesday meant Pathology. Jungkook loved that class because the professor hated teaching it, so the students had to sit in silence for about three hours trying to read the textbook by themselves. The professor said he would be there to answer any questions, but he was mostly scrolling through his phone and interrupting students every time they tried to ask him something — “That’s in the textbook, just keep reading.”
Most of his classmates absolutely despised that subject, but Jungkook thought it was wonderful: he often learned better by himself anyways, and the lack of conversation during class brought him some sense of peace. Besides, Yoongi and Taehyung hated sitting in that quiet room for too long, so they mostly left after ten or twenty minutes of trying — and failing — to strike up a conversation with Jungkook. It was the perfect day.
Well, most days it was.
Just as he was about to move forward to the next topic — Adrenal Insufficiency and Addison’s Disease — , the boy felt something poking his bicep and he was quick to turn to his side. Instantly, he recognized your expectant gaze and something fluttered inside his stomach.
“Hey, Jungkook,” you whispered, leaning over your desk, “is tomorrow afternoon still up? I really need help in cardiac physiology. I kind of suck.”
He hummed in agreement, fighting against the nervousness that crept up on him. Jungkook’s palms started to sweat just by looking at you, he really was one step away from reverting back to his pre-teen days. “For sure. I’ll be at yours at five,” he managed to get out.
“Thank you so much,” you said, then moved back against your seat. “I owe you one.”
“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled. If it had been anyone else, Jungkook would’ve had a stroke by then — after all, he wasn’t always invited to a girl’s place so easily. That’s someone that I have absolutely no chance with, he thought. So friendzoning himself made everything much easier. “Are you sure you don’t want to meet up at the library?”
“I can’t really concentrate there,” you answered. “But if you prefer, we could go.”
“No, no.” He shook his head. “Your place is fine.”
You smiled again, and Jungkook thought that maybe being shot wouldn’t hurt so much. “Thanks. See you at five.”
Jungkook nodded and turned around, facing his laptop. Just as he was about to restart typing his notes, he saw a known reflection at the corner of his computer. Oh, God, have mercy.
Yoongi’s reflection smirked from the back row. “Oh, man, she’s so into you.”
Jungkook shook his head in denial, eyes still glued to the PDF file in front of him. If anything, his classmates would have just guessed he was finding that subject more difficult than usual and, quite frankly, no one could judge him.
“No?” Yoongi raised one eyebrow, reappearing by his side with his hand supporting his cheek. Jungkook didn’t even need to look at him to know that he was just looooving the discomfort that grew inside his limbs. “I know those things, kiddo. It’s my job.”
From the front seat, Taehyung hummed in agreement. He had his arm placed over the chair, and seemed to find that entire situation a bit boring — maybe because he had seen it countless times before. “She definitely wants to get some of that,” he said. “We are proud of you, son.”
With a subdued sigh, Jungkook scribbled some aggressive words at the corner of his notebook, and showed it to the man by his side. “Look at this, Taehyung, he’s trying to convince us that they’re just friends,” Yoongi mocked, crossing his arms. “That’s cute. Just because you’re that oblivious, it doesn’t mean that we are.”
“Jungkook, we’ve been watching the two of you talk the entire semester,” Taehyung added. “Besides, Yoongi made me follow her around once. She’s definitely into you. In unholy ways.”
Yoongi nodded once again. “She wants to be your boo.”
“Was that a fucking ghost pun?” Taehyung’s nose cringed up in disgust, and Jungkook had to fight back the reflex of laughing at his reaction. “Awful.”
“At least I’m not the one who ghostwrote Jungkook’s ethics essay.” Yoongi threw back. “Yeah, and that was another pun. You’ve got no spirit.”
“You know what? Now I know why Jungkook can’t stand us anymore.” Taehyung smirked and, then and there, Jungkook knew exactly what was coming. “He can see right through us.”
The other ghost nodded. “Yeah, we’ve reached a dead end.”
Jungkook groaned in exasperation, hiding his face behind his hands. “This is torture.”
Next to him, you chuckled. “Come on, pathology isn’t even that bad. You’re good at this.”
“I know, I’m just tired.” He turned around to look at you, uttering the same excuse he had been using this entire semester. Not that it was an uncommon one, especially in the fifth circle of hell that was medical school. “I think I need to splash some cold water on my face. Wake myself up.”
You hesitated, staring at him as he stood up. Jungkook looked strangely pale, like he was about to throw up all over the classroom. “Is everything okay?”
Fantastic! My bachelor ghosts are just making me have a nervous breakdown.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” He said, almost stumbling over your chair. Some of your pens fell down, but Jungkook couldn’t even bring himself to get them. He’d probably just knock everything else over in the process, and he wasn’t even sure that he could stand back up after. “Shit— Sorry. I’ll be right back.”
Behind him, Yoongi chuckled. “Spook-tacular skills, as always.”
_____________
The sound of running water was all that entered Jungkook’s mind for a moment, his face feeling the coldness of the liquid as he splashed himself once, twice, trying to clear his thoughts. In the end, it was mostly in vain: his class was ruined, his notes were left unfinished, and he couldn’t get a second of tranquility anymore — not even in Pathology. If he weren’t canonized after his death, he would file a complaint for sure.
Abruptly, he closed off the faucet and the water stopped running. There was a heavenly instant of quietness, in which Jungkook followed the crystalline droplets falling from his hair to the sink, before Yoongi’s voice echoed behind him. “How you doin’, champ?”
Jungkook sighed and raised his head, looking at his ghost counterpart through the dirty mirror. “Is the bathroom empty?” he asked calmly.
“Hm? Yeah,” Yoongi said. “The ghost is clear.”
Just like that, his serenity was gone. “Yoongi, can you fucking stop? Your puns stopped being funny after the third attempt,” Jungkook asked, exasperated. He pulled some paper towels, and got even angrier at the way they fell apart in his hands. Good to know his college money was being used wisely. “Jesus. Where is Taehyung?”
“You know he hates toilet paper,” Yoongi told him. “Reminds him of his death.”
Jungkook considered the compelling idea of banging his head against the bathroom wall until he, himself, was part of the world of the dead. As he recalled very well, Taehyung had been a victim of Final-Destination-levels of misfortune: just because he had forgotten to take toilet paper to his camping trip, the boy had been forced to use nearby leaves. Those, as he would soon come to understand, caused an awful allergy on his lower lands, and the punctual bleeding was a sufficient opening for opportunistic diseases. The culprit? Some super strange bacteria that floated around the river. He was dead less than twenty hours after he came back home from septic shock.
Taehyung had endured, quite frankly, one shitty death. And, yes, Yoongi had made that joke a few too many times before.
“Doesn’t matter,” Jungkook realized. “What did I tell you two about chit-chatting with me in large public places? Especially my classes? I have to pay attention. And I have a test in two days, I need to be all here, and not thinking about other people.”
Yoongi giggled — almost childishly so — at the other’s anguished attitude. His teeth, a pallid shade of white, could barely be seen against the olive-green tiles that covered the bathroom walls. “You weren’t paying attention to the processes of intestinal inflammation, that’s for sure,” he teased, forcing himself to hold back his jokes a bit.
“I wasn’t even studying that chapter,” Jungkook mumbled.
Even Yoongi, who had a dense personality for such a diaphanous soul, could tell that the student was not in the mood for mockery. “Man, why are you so stuck-up? Taehyung and I are ghosts, but you’re the one with the dead sense of humor.”
Jungkook realized he needed a moment to think before he started yelling at nothing in a public bathroom. He really hoped the other stalls were empty, but he couldn’t be bothered to check.
“This isn’t about the puns. You two just don’t respect my privacy,” Jungkook said. This time, he was able to pull some good paper towels and proceeded to dry his face. “This has been going on for too long. Why don’t you two just vanish for some time?”
“Wish I could, kiddo, but I’ve got hours to clock,” Yoongi finally admitted. From the mirror, he could see the frown of confusion that was cast over Jungkook’s features. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m only following rules. Talk to the big guy upstairs if you want to complain.”
He threw the paper on the trash and shook his head in confusion. “I just don’t see the point of any of this.”
“You don’t have to.” Yoongi took a step closer. He often looked so unbothered — the two of them, actually — that Jungkook caught himself wondering which certainties they held, notions that would most likely be given after death. “Just do what we tell you to do.”
“That has only embarrassed me so far,” he said, turning around. “I don’t think I have it in me to trust in you two one more time. It has gotten me nowhere. Or, rather, nowhere good.”
Yoongi sighed. “Alright, let’s do it like this, then: You go and help Y/N with her cardio whatever stuff, and Taehyung and I just watch. We promise to shut up, unless you’re doing something seriously embarrassing. Other than that, absolute silence.”
Jungkook narrowed his eyes. “You promise you two won’t tell me what to say?”
“Promise.” Yoongi nodded. He looked very sincere. “We won’t talk to you.”
“I can live with that, yeah,” Jungkook agreed, leaning against the bathroom sink. “Sounds good.”
“Perfect.” He smiled. “Trust me, Jungkook. I only made one mistake in my life.”
Jungkook smirked. “And it killed you.”
“Not the point.” He raised one finger, clearly annoyed, then pointed it at Jungkook. “You’ll do great. It’s not like you’re gonna tell her about us or something.”
He laughed. “Yeah, that’d be awful.”
________________
But that was, ultimately, what he did.
To be fair, it was never Jungkook’s intention. He was completely sure that it would ruin not only his friendship with you, as it would also ruin his reputation, both as a student and as a future physician. Come on, how would he even explain that? How could he tell anyone that he not only saw two obnoxious ghosts, but that they were there to give him romantic (and sometimes sexual) advice? That’s insanity.
Spoiler: he didn’t explain it very well.
In the cosmic perspective, however, it was kind of Yoongi’s fault too. He had the problem of giving away too much sometimes, especially when he was alone and free from Taehyung’s scrutiny. And it was that extra bit of information that catalyzed the explosion that would become Jungkook’s confession.
For some reason or another, Taehyung hadn’t joined the two of them that day, as Jungkook crossed the campus towards your place. For the first time in a long time, their conversation — which was, again, masked by Jungkook pretending to be on the phone — was actually quite pleasant. Yoongi had told him a bit more about his life back in the day and explained that he was studying to become a lawyer when he died.
“I was thinking of dropping out anyways,” he said. “I just picked a random thing to study because I didn’t know what I wanted to do. And, well, I kind of did drop off. Just not from the course.”
Jungkook could not help but laugh at the absurdness of it all. Sad coincidences aside, it was unusual for Yoongi to make jokes about his death. Taehyung was much more open about it, but Yoongi seemed to be very bitter because of the way and the time he passed. But of course, who was Jungkook to judge?
“You know,” Yoongi started after a moment of quietude. “Taehyung and I were pretty surprised that day at the mall.”
Jungkook frowned. “Hm? Why is that?”
The other man chuckled. “Honestly? Because you’re dumber than we thought.”
Seems like pleasant times didn’t last much between the two of them. “We’ve established that I can’t talk to girls, Yoongi, I know.” Jungkook really wanted to change the subject.
“No, not that,” he denied. “Let’s go back a little. Remember what we told you in your bedroom that night? To get the physiology girl.”
Jungkook nodded. “Yeah, what about it?”
Yoongi laughed, amazed that Jungkook still didn’t get it. “You called the wrong one, idiot,” he explained.
“What?” Jungkook paused in his tracks and, in a mindless reflex, forgot he was supposed to be talking on the phone, and looked directly at Yoongi, lowering the device away from his ear. “There is a right one?”
“Hey, pay attention to your surroundings.” Yoongi pointed at a couple that also stopped, confused at the man’s actions. Jungkook cleared his throat, trying to regain some composure after that minor instant of public humiliation, and placed the phone back against his ear. “Let’s keep walking.”
With his heart beating insanely fast against his chest, Jungkook did as he was told. His mind was flooded with fragmented thoughts, working around words that seemed so simple, yet held so much.
“Yes, there is a right one — and you’re going towards her right now.” Yoongi responded, placing his ghostly hands inside his ghostly pockets. Jungkook never noticed that he still used the clothes that he had on when he died, but Yoongi wouldn’t be the first one to mention. “So don’t make a fool out of yourself. Not this time.”
Jungkook swallowed dry, feeling as panic started to climb up his lower limbs, weighing down on his muscles. His throat was dry as a desert and forming sentences proved to be a far more difficult task than he had anticipated. The air around campus had suddenly become hot for an autumn day, unable to enter his lungs with ease. He really was two steps away from a full-blown anxiety attack.
Yoongi frowned. “You good?”
Jungkook licked his lips, only half aware of his actions. “Y-Yeah,” he struggled to get out. “Just kind of a bomb that you just dropped on me, that’s all.”
Yoongi nodded, uninterested. “Yeah. Get over it. It’s not a huge deal.”
Only, it was. For Jungkook, at least. What if you two were… you know? Meant to be? Like the soulmates kind of thing; star-crossed lovers. Like in the “we got married after two months of dating and we are still together after sixty years” kind of insane love? That was a lot to process, a lot to think about, especially when he was having like three different crises at once. It was a recipe for a disaster.
Jungkook really was dumb when it came to anything besides his textbooks, but not for jumping into those conclusions. Frankly, most people would’ve been a bit overwhelmed by that.
No, his problem would reside on his next thought: If you two were meant to be, you would understand if, for some reason, he had to tell you about his ghosts, right?
Right?
_______________
To be fair with Yoongi, he did keep his promise. The two didn’t interrupt your conversation once, even if sometimes the moment begged for it, and Jungkook was two words away from ruining everything. Strangely enough, things seemed to work themselves out — the horrible jokes that Jungkook uttered seemed to suit your sense of humor; the shy and nervous demeanor that plagued his dates slowly melted away. It was good — in fact, it was the best talk he’s had with someone in a long, long time.
The issue was that, as much as the two of them didn’t talk directly to Jungkook, they still talked.
“What was that thing that she said, you know, to her friends?” Yoongi mumbled, his words coming out as a vague connection of syllables being formed at the corner of his mouth. He had his arms crossed, and his legs pushed up on the couch. “You told me that.”
“Yeah,” Taehyung took a moment to think. He had one of his hands buried deep inside the pockets of his white pants, and the other on the back of the couch. The two of them watched the conversation that unfolded above your living room table, the two of you trying to make sense of a subject that seemed to change every five minutes. “It was like ‘homeboy can like, get it’... or something.”
Yoongi nodded, satisfied. “Nice.”
Jungkook cleared his throat, trying to ignore that comment. It wasn’t news that you were interested in him — that had been the only thing Yoongi and Taehyung had told him for the past few hours, but it was very, very awkward to know those specific details. He was sure he wouldn’t like you to know the private conversations that he had with his friends, even less about the things he thought about when he was alone. There was something extremely violating about that, but, no matter how hard he tried to convince them, the two ghosts didn’t seem to care enough to stop.
The giggle that came from across the table ruptured his thoughts. “Why are you blushing?” You asked.
“I’m… uh…” he struggled, suddenly feeling the heat that emanated from his cheeks. Wonderful. Even when he was just thinking about something, he still managed to make a fool of himself. “Just… thinking about some embarrassing things I did in third grade. The usual.”
“Yeah, I’ve been there.” You smiled, reaching for the textbook across the table, and flipping through the pages. “I ruined this entire science project once. It was something about the pollination of flowers, but I missed that class. Ended up coming back to a lot of roses around the classroom, and decided to take a few of them home to my mom.”
“Oh no.”
“Yep,” you nodded, looking back at him. Jungkook thought that he had lost himself in your eyes for a moment, a depth so engulfing that he couldn’t find the right words once he stared at it. He had never noticed how beautiful you were — or, rather, he had, but he had never stopped to think about it — and, now, it seemed as if that was the only thing that he could focus on. “Everyone in class was super pissed, the teacher even tried to suspend me.”
He shook his head, trying to imagine a mini-you justifying your flower thievery in front of the principal. “That’s insane, actually.”
“Kind of.” You shrugged, looking back at the book. You weren’t sure what you were searching for anymore, so you decided to close it. You two had been studying for almost four hours straight, you didn’t think that your brain could handle any more of that. “They didn’t really believe me when I told them it was a mistake. Guess no one even noticed my absence the day before, which is… somehow… even worse, now that I think about it.”
A giggle reverberated in your throat as you dove into those forgotten memories, and Jungkook followed you.
“Don’t laugh at child me, that’s so cruel.” You smiled.
“I’m not.” He shook his head. “I just thought you were cute. Still are, you never really stopped being cute, I mean. You’re actually really pretty now, like a woman—”
“I got it.” You placed your hands over his, and the shock of your skin against his seemed to spread throughout his entire body. He didn’t know if that was a soulmate thing of if he was just really horny. Probably a bit of both. “Don’t worry about it. You’re pretty cute too. Like a man.”
“Thanks.” Jungkook itched the back of his neck, trying to find the right words to build his sentence. Panic began bubbling at the bottom of his stomach, sinking its teeth into his flesh as his words left his throat. “Actually, I wanted to ask you something.”
It was the right time now: the studying was over, the conversation was flowing, you had told him that you thought he was cute — like a man. Now, he just needed to ask you out. Just that. That’s it. Three words. He had practiced: Wanna go out? That’s it. So casual. So playboy-esque. He could do it. No pressure. If you were the one, he didn’t have much to get wrong.
But, oh my god, what if he got everything wrong? I mean, how many stories are out there of couples who were destined for each other, but something happened and it pulled them apart forever? The wrong time, the wrong place — the wrong words. Jungkook wasn’t psychologically prepared to ruin something so huge with a moment so small. He needed to calm down and focus. Just get the words out. Everything would sort itself out after that. He had faith.
“What is it?” You asked.
Jungkook cleared his throat, his eyes still glued to the touch of your hand against his. Outside, birds were chirping, unaware of the absolute shitstorm that was about to ensue. “So…” he started, “I was thinking that maybe I could— I mean, you — I mean we could...”
You tilted your head to the side, confused. “Sorry, what was that?”
He blinked once, twice, fighting against the wave of sheer terror that had taken over his brain, whitening out his thoughts. He had the sentence ready, but he had forgotten how to form it. “I’m just trying… I’m just trying here to just…” He swallowed dryly. “I was just wondering if you would like to… I mean, if it’s not a problem—”
From the other side of the room, Yoongi groaned. “Just do it! You’re making eternity so much longer.”
And that’s when it happened.
Jungkook turned around and yelled: “You told me you wouldn’t talk, you asshole!”
The entire room froze. A horrible moment of bewildered reticence followed as the realization crashed upon him like a gigantic wave. He couldn’t have just yelled at nothing in front of you, like an absolute madman, could he?
Your eyes widened and you pulled your hand away from his. The lack of warmth was like a dagger being thrown directly into his heart. “Excuse me?”
Yep. He totally did that.
“Not you!” He was quick to turn around — maybe a bit too quick, too intensely. Even with nervousness clouding his vision, Jungkook could still see the shadow of fear and confusion mingling amongst your features. He had ruined everything, and that was all that he could think about. “I’m just... personalizing my anxiety...”
“Are you... alright?” You spoke slowly, measuring his actions. Jungkook had changed from cute-nervous to absolutely-unhinged-nervous; eyes widened and jaw clenched; hands gripping the wooden chair like his life depended on it. Maybe that study session was a mistake. Maybe you should’ve just googled an online class, like your best friend told you to. “It looks like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Taehyung chuckled. “That’s pretty funny.”
And, if the situation wasn’t already bad enough, Jungkook started to convince himself that perhaps it would be a good idea to come clean with you about his psychic abilities — maybe that was actually the only way that he could get out of that mess. If you were his soulmate, you’d understand. It’d all be okay. Yeah, maybe you’d be seriously creeped out for like the first twenty minutes, just like he had been, but eventually you’d understand what had happened. You two would laugh about it later, maybe when you were sixty, on your rocking chairs somewhere, staring lovingly at a cornfield.
Was he losing it? Probably. But he didn’t have the right amount of mental clarity to fully think about the consequences of his actions in that moment.
“I… did,” Jungkook spoke sluggishly, barely comprehending the trail of words that dripped from his tongue. His voice was much calmer, but he could still feel like his entire body was engulfed by flames. “I did... see a ghost. Two actually.”
You frowned. This afternoon couldn’t possibly get any worse. “What are you talking about?”
“Jungkook, don’t you dare,” Yoongi warned, but his voice seemed to come from miles away.
Slowly, as if he wasn’t really aware of his own body moving, Jungkook adjusted his position on the chair, looking down at the sea of handwritten notes in front of him. He wished that human interaction was as easy as the types of pulmonary volumes, or perhaps the changes of oxygen inside the hemoglobin. That he knew. That he could deal with.
“Ok so, have you ever watched The Emperor’s New Groove?”
You blinked twice, puzzled. “What?”
“The Disney movie,” he clarified, looking up at you.
You shook your head, measuring how long it would take for you to bolt out of the door and run away from your own apartment. Maybe you could get out and then call someone for help. You wished you had already taken Psychiatry. “I know what that is, Jungkook, but I just don’t understand where you’re getting at.”
“Maybe it’s in the TV series that came after the movie, I don’t know, but Kronk has these two little beings on his shoulders, a devil and an angel.” He cleared his throat, and looked back at the sheets of paper. It was so hard to stare at you now, when just seconds before, it had been so easy. “I kinda have the same thing, only, they’re dead people. You know, ghosts. And they’re not on my shoulders — that’d be pretty awful, actually.”
Taehyung mumbled from across the room, “I really don’t think this is a good idea, Jungkook.”
“You’re making no sense right now,” you said, worried about the effect that your words could have on him. “I think… I think it would be better if you left.”
“I can see dead people, okay?” Jungkook interrupted, exasperated. You had to understand. You were the right girl from physiology class, you had to understand.
“Okay, Sixth Sense.” You laughed nervously. Bad time for a joke, you thought, but the boy barely seemed to process it. “Listen, I can tell you’re not doing very well right now, so you should probably leave, maybe clear your head a bit. You already helped me a lot—”
“No, I don’t need that. My head is clear—”
“You know, there is a very good mental health clinic in campus, I’ve gone there already, and I think—”
“No! I don’t need mental health, it’s true!” Jungkook stood up, walking towards the couch, where the two dead men sat. There was an unspoken contest in the room to see who could be more flabbergasted at the boy’s actions, and you and Yoongi were in a close tie. “I can prove it.”
You almost choked on air. “You what?”
Jungkook pointed at nothing. “They’re here right now, I can prove it to you.”
Discombobulated, you shook your head one more time. Maybe if you did that enough, your chaotic thoughts would just fall out of your ears, and everything would be much clearer. Maybe that was a prank, maybe that was a full-blown psychotic breakdown. You just didn’t really know what to do from there. “Jungkook, I don’t think—”
“Come on, just show yourself to her!” He yelled into the air, more specifically at your white couch. You just wanted to study cardiology, how did it end up like this? “Give me a sign, I don’t know.”
Yoongi chuckled, completely amazed by the way Jungkook continuously broke the Dumb Records that he had previously set himself. No bonus in heaven would be worth dealing with Mr. Smooth Brain over there. He should’ve gone for the orphans instead. “I cannot believe you right now.” He stood up from the couch and sighed, utterly defeated. Maybe he could just get it over with, and then The Big Man Upstairs would show him a bit of mercy. “But I guess now there isn’t much to lose. I’m only doing this because at least it would make this situation a bit better.”
“How?” Taehyung asked.
“There’s a slight improvement between psychotic crisis and psychic abilities,” Yoongi responded. He walked towards the window, rolled his eyes at the pathetic presentation of supernatural phenomena, and pulled on the white curtains of your living room. “Here. Boo! Paranormal activity.”
“Did you see that?” Jungkook asked, excited.
However, instead of meeting a surprised gaze, he only saw panic and preoccupation swimming inside your eyes. “The curtain moving? Yeah. That was the wind, Jungkook.” You stood up from the chair, measuring your chances at escaping. He was getting more and more erratic, and you didn’t know where the situation could escalate to next. “You’re seriously freaking me out right now. You’re being really aggressive about this.”
“Yoongi, you’re worse than the spirits in Ghost Hunters,” Taehyung groaned, reappearing next to your living room table. “You have to be bold, that’s what I always say. Make a statement.”
Taehyung’s statement, of course, had been the biggest slap against a lamp that Jungkook had ever witnessed in his life. The ghosts had once told him that it took them a huge amount of concentrated energy to do something as little as move a napkin, so there was no way that Taehyung wouldn’t be exhausted after making that heavy piece of furniture fly against the wall, shattering into a million little pieces with a loud noise.
“What the fuck?” Jungkook asked. “That was so dangerous! She could’ve gotten hurt.”
He shrugged. “You asked.”
“What the fuck was that?” You yelled, taking your hands to your face. Was that shared hysteria? What did you just see? Maybe you were the one who needed fresh air and a shrink visit. “You’re pranking me, right? You have like a nylon string wrapped around your hands or something.”
Jungkook moved his head in denial, raising his hands up in a sigh of defeat. “I swear to God, it’s true.”
“I don’t… I don’t believe you,” you said, clearly terrified. Not at the idea of ghosts, Jungkook realized, but of him. That date surely couldn’t have gone any better.
Yoongi sighed and materialized behind Jungkook. Lost causes, Yoongi was surrounded by lost causes. “If you really want her to believe you, tell her we can say some stuff about her, but it’ll probably freak her out.”
“They are saying that they can convince you by saying some stuff about you.” Jungkook swallowed dry. Something inside him was screaming for him to just shut the fuck up and leave your building. If there was something he learned by being with the two undead pricks, is that they could always make a situation worse.
But desperate times require desperate measures.
You adjusted your posture. Trepidation was still very present in your face, but there was also a small spark of interest swimming somewhere inside your eyes. “I seriously doubt that.”
“I can show you,” he said. “Just… don’t freak out.”
“Fine.” You licked your lips in anticipation. “The name of my first pet.”
“Is this a password verification?” Yoongi groaned. He just wanted to watch Twitches later that day, but Jungkook just had to start a seance in someone else’s room. Again: the orphans would never. “Fine. It was Mr. Green, a tortoise she killed by leaving to dry in the asphalt.”
“It was a tortoise, Mr. Green. You left it on the asphalt and it died,” Jugkook repeated without hesitation.
You blinked twice, taking in the answer. “This is so fucking weird. How did you know that?”
“Yoongi told me.” Jungkook pointed over his shoulder, where Yoongi stared you down. Just by looking in that direction, you felt a shiver run down your spine. You were losing it. “He’s, you know, one of the ghosts.”
“I’ve never been so exhausted in my life.” You placed one hand against the chair, leaning against it. There was no use to keep that conversation going, and you both knew it — and yet, just like a politician lying, it just didn’t stop. “But you could’ve asked anyone that.”
It was Jungkook’s turn to become completely lost. “Why would I ask such a specific question? I don’t even know your friends.”
Behind him, he heard another loud groan. “I’m so done with this.” Yoongi placed his hand on his shoulder. “Let me talk, Jungkook.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” He asked.
Yoongi snorted. “We are all out of good ideas. But I think this is the best chance you’ve got.”
“Who are you talking to?” You almost yelled.
Jungkook looked back at you and, for some reason, the preoccupation in his eyes scared you even further. “Okay, this is going to be really weird, alright? But it’s not gonna be me talking.”
“What?”
“It’s like… a kind of possession,” he explained, gesticulating a bit more than socially acceptable. “It’s like… uh… One of them is going to use my mouth for a bit. Talk through me.”
You laughed, and there was a high-pitched sort of timbre to it. That might as well happen. “Sure, of course. What else? Exorcism live?” You asked.
“Just give me the permission,” Yoongi commanded.
Jungkook took in a deep breath, and clenched his hands into fists. He hated that part. “Fine,” he consented.
Gradually, the muscles around his mouth and throat grew numb, as if Jungkook had entered a dream, and his body was responding in autopilot. There was an awful pressure on his shoulders and a ringing in his ears as Yoongi accommodated himself around his body, reaching for control. That was the closest he would ever feel to being a ventriloquist’s puppet, and it was as bad as it could be.
Yoongi spoke through him with ease: “You told your friends last week that you didn’t care if Jungkook was a shy virgin who played minecraft because he was exactly your type. You also said that your average score in physiology is ninety-seven percent and you didn’t need any help. You just needed an excuse to stay with him. Happy?”
Jungkook inhaled sharply as the pressure on his body subsided, the numb sensation around his neck growing thinner by the second. “So violating,” he complained.
“How did you know that?” Your voice shook him back to reality. Both of you were reaching new levels of terror every minute. “Are you stalking me?”
That back and forth was starting to get exhausting. “That wasn’t me. That was Yoongi,” he tried once again. He was starting to think that the whole thing had been a bad idea.
“Well, fuck you, Yoongi,” you spat.
Yoongi scoffed. “Fuck you too, princess. Maybe you really don’t deserve this man.”
“I’m not saying that,” Jungkook whispered to him, then turned back to look at you. He wanted to hug you and magically erase your memories for that afternoon, but, in reality, he couldn’t even move his legs without feeling like he could fall face-down on the floor. He really, really, really hated possession. “I’m just… I’m sorry about that.”
“About what, Danny Phantom?” You asked, throwing your hands up in an exasperated gesture. And there it was: from panic to complete fury. That was all that you two needed at that moment. “About making me scared shitless, or about exposing me like this?”
He suspired. “Do you at least believe in me now?”
“Does it look like I believe in you, Jungkook?” You practically screamed. Truth was: neither of you knew that for sure. “I’m a woman of science, you can’t expect me to believe that—”
Taehyung groaned, walking closer to Jungkook. It must’ve been a world record how quickly everyone in that room got angry. “Let me talk,” he requested.
Jungkook sighed, defeated. How much worse could it possibly get? “Go ahead,” he said.
There it was again: the feeling of being under anesthesia, the weight of an entire other being pressed down against his shoulders. Good times. “Yesterday,” he started, “you masturbated to the thought of Jungkook, but you forgot to recharge your vibrator so you had to use your fingers and you complained the entire time. Explain that, science woman.”
Another deep gasp, and Jungkook was folding over, finding balance on his knees. He really felt like he couldn’t even think straight anymore, his mind covered by a thick fog.
You didn’t seem to be in a much different situation either. “I’m… gonna pass out.”
“That was so unnecessary, Taehyung,” Jungkook whispered. His mouth was terribly dry, and his hands were shaking. “You guys really don’t know your limits.”
“Taehyung? Who the fuck is that?” You screamed.
Taehyung crossed his arms. “Hey, at least she believes you now.”
“He’s the other ghost. The one with no sense of boundaries.” Jungkook stared at Taehyung, clearly pissed off. Maybe his voice would’ve come out a bit more forceful if he didn’t get thrown around by sadistic spirits. “I’m sorry about that.”
You shook your head, dumbfounded. “I need you to leave now. And take your ghosts with you.” You leaned over the table, and grabbed his notes, shoving them into a messy pile. Not that you were super worried about the integrity of the paper at a time like that. “This has really crossed like... every line.”
Jungkook licked his lips, trying to find the right words to say. Someway, he managed to get his legs firm enough so he could start walking in your direction. “Please, I didn’t mean to—”
You shoved the pile of notes into his backpack, and then the backpack into his hands. Before he could react, you grabbed him by the arm, guiding him towards the exit. “Thanks for helping me, Jungkook.” The door opened with a forceful pull, and you shoved him into the hall. “Never speak to me again. Bye.”
The bang of the door slamming shut was horribly loud, reverberating inside Jungkook’s chest for a moment longer. Now that the possession daze was starting to move away from his body, the boy could feel the traces of panic crawling inside him.
Jungkook dropped his backpack to the ground, and started knocking on your door. “Y/N, please!” He called. “I’m so sorry about everything. You have to believe me!”
Your yell came muffled from the other side of the door. “Go away!” you screamed. “Or I’m calling the cops!”
Defeated, he closed his eyes and placed his forehead against the wood. Now that the situation had already climaxed, the absurdity of it all was starting to become much more palpable.
How could Jungkook be so stupid? How could he think that you would act normally as you were exposed to the supernatural world? Especially in such distressing, violating ways. Even if you were his meant-to-be, his forever person, it would be ridiculous to believe that anyone would take all in that with ease. He really outdid himself that time.
“Let her be, you two can talk another time,” Yoongi spoke, leaning against the wall. It was possible to see all the places that the pain was starting to crack through his semi-translucent form. “Good attempt, though. I’d give you a star for trying.”
“This is not funny,” Jungkook mumbled, moving away from the door so you couldn’t hear him. The artificial lights above his head were sharp, buzzing mockingly. “You two keep saying that you’re here to help me, but you keep making stuff like this happen. If she really did like me, you just ruined everything.”
Yoongi raised one eyebrow. “Why do you care so much about that one?”
Jungkook glanced at him. “You told me she’s the one.”
He frowned, crossing his arms. “I told you she was the right girl from physiology class, not that you two were going to die holding hands or something,” Yoongi told him. “You filled the blanks yourself.”
“That’s why we don’t give away all those details,” Taehyung scolded Yoongi, looking at him up and down. Jungkook had never seen him so irritated before — at least not about serious things. “You know we could get in real big trouble if someone heard about that. Which, correct me if I’m wrong, it’s kind of the entire deal of heaven to know about stuff.”
“I know, I know,” Yoongi groaned, disregarding his preoccupations. Maybe Taehyung didn’t understand his galaxy-brain plan yet, but he was sure that the heavens would. Or at least he hoped so. “But I think there’s something else that we need to focus on. Jungkook wouldn’t care this much about the other girls he dated, even if it was meant to be.”
“Why are you two talking like I’m not here?” Jungkook asked, annoyed.
“Why are you talking to yourself like you’re not in a corridor of an apartment building?” Yoongi threw back. Without a second of hesitation, Jungkook picked up his backpack and turned on his heels, walking down the hall, completely done with them. “Hey, come back. Just tell me what’s the fuzz with this one.”
He didn’t look back. “Aren’t you two supposed to know? All-knowing and shit.”
“We want to hear it from you,” Yoongi pressed on.
Jungkook opened the heavy door to the stairwell, allowing for it to hit behind him. Taehyung and Yoongi passed right through it, of course, and kept following him as he quickly moved down the concrete steps. “Y/N is my friend.”
Yoongi hummed. “Go on.”
“Isn’t that enough for a justification? What else do you want from me?” He inquired, aggressive. The sound of his steps echoed like drums through the expansion of the staircase, and he hoped that no one else had been listening to his apparent monologue. “I don’t wanna ruin this friendship by talking about her masturbation techniques, I don’t know if that makes the situation super unique.”
Taehyung clicked his tongue. “You have other friends.”
“I care for her, alright?” Jungkook turned around abruptly, making the two ghosts stop in their tracks. Taehyung had almost lost his balance, but it wasn’t as if that could have any serious consequences for him.
Jungkook sighed, trying to control the anger that had built up so rapidly, and continued speaking. “I care for her more than other friends. Fuck, is that what you two wanted to hear? Besides, it’s not like I know anyone better than her. I didn’t even think I had a chance with someone like that until you told me. She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s like… super hot when she’s mad—”
“Oh, would you look at that.” Yoongi grinned, satisfied. “Jungkook’s whipped.”
“What?” His eyes widened. “I’m not.”
“Why are you so red?” Taehyung asked.
Jungkook covered his face, feeling the heat of his checks emanating against his palms. “I’m not!”
“Okay, okay, calm down, tiger,” Yoongi raised his hands in a silent request for forgiveness. They were still a few steps above Jungkook, and the whole scene looked like something straight out of the Book of Revelation. “This is a good thing, we actually thought it would never happen. It’s not like you’ve been this introspective in what… five years? More even.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Yoongi sighed, and looked at Taehyung for confirmation. The other ghost nodded in a silent agreement, and Yoongi started to speak. “Listen, we’re here to help you, but we didn’t say everything,” he admitted. “We couldn’t, really, otherwise it wouldn’t be so... organic.”
“What?”
“Jungkook, you were desperate to lose your virginity,” Yoongi explained. “You still are, in a way. And that’s not a good thing, because you’ll get the first thing that moves and you’ll try to stick your dick in it.”
Taehyung chuckled drily, looking at a fixed point. “Which is not a good idea, believe me,” he spoke in a mumble, and Jungkook could not help but think that his advice came from personal experience. That, of course, was a story for other, less sober times.
“Is that why the two of you always interrupt me?” He asked, a bit offended. “Because those girls weren’t right for me? Like this is a purity cult or something?”
“Eh.” Yoongi did a so-so gesture with his hand. “Kind of. Not really. Doesn’t matter. What matters is that you actually feel something for this girl, something beyond the thoughts that come from your lower head.”
“And she feels something for you too, even after that trainwreck that we just witnessed in there,” Taehyung added patiently. “Which will help us a lot in the long run.”
“This doesn’t make any sense.” Jungkook crossed his arms, stubborn. He really could look and sound like a child throwing a tantrum when he wanted to. “I still don’t get it. It wasn’t your place to tell me who I could or couldn’t be with, it’s not as if you guys are—”
“Jungkook, that’s enough,” Taehyung interrupted him. “You don’t think it makes sense? Stop and think for once in your life.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What did you say?”
Taehyung glanced at him. “Listen, we just saved you from months of wrong dates and wrong nights. We pushed away people who didn’t really care about you, who just wanted you to use you, or who would end up cheating on you anyways. Not everyone gets this privilege,” he said, completely done with that victim mentality. “So, for once in your life, be grateful. Be grateful for the bad dates, the embarrassment, the times that it didn’t work out. And, look, we are sorry for the way they had to go down, it wasn’t as funny as it seemed from our perspective. But if you didn’t have those bad dates, you’d have very, very bad months following them. So you’re welcome.”
“And all those bad dates lead you to the right person,” Yoongi completed, watching as Jungkook’s expression withered into shame. He was staring to get it — they could almost see the hamster in his brain start running. “Now, listen, we don’t know if this is the for-life situation, that’s not the kind of information we have, alright? Do I look like a seraphin to you? No. But does it matter? No. Most relationships aren’t the for-life thing anyways, but they are here to teach you something. And if the afterlife thought that there was something good for you here, who are we to judge?”
“Yeah,” Taehyung agreed. “Now, can you please forget about all those past people and just focus on her? Maybe shut the fuck up while you do that? I get that you wanted to get your dick wet, but there’s a time and a place for that.”
The boy sighed, and leaned against the red handrails. It took Jungkook a few seconds to speak out. “I feel like I’ve just been lectured by my parents,” he admitted.
Taehyung relaxed his shoulders. “Good,” he said. “I’ve been meaning to slap some sense into you for months now, but I didn’t really have the permission.”
“Feel better?” Jungkook asked.
He nodded. “Much better.”
“I’m happy for you,” he said. Jungkook ran one hand through his dark hair, pushing back the strands that had fallen over his eyes. “And about Y/N… There’s no way she’ll ever talk to me after this mess. I ruined everything.”
Taehyung nodded. “You pretty much did, yeah.”
“You took the worst case scenario and managed to make it even more horrible,” Yoongi said. “It’s pretty impressive, actually.”
“Thanks, that’s great.” Jungkook chuckled, humorless. He could always count on them for emotional support. “But, I mean… What do I do now? I mean, is there anything that we could do to save this?”
“Worry not, my child,” Yoongi smirked, crossing his arms. “Taehyung and I are masters of seduction, and we’re here to help you. Just trust us.”
“And before you say something,” Taehyung interrupted, raising one finger. “You never had the right girl before, so we weren’t really trying. I think we can find some real solid ground here.”
Jungkook breathed out, and looked down at the grey stairs. Yeah, it’s not like he wasn’t at the bottom of the well already. “Fine. One last chance,” he agreed, looking back at the ghosts. “Just tell me what I have to do.”
______________
Much to Jungkook’s delight, he didn’t need to muster up the courage to talk to you, because you did that first.
For the first time in their lives (and deaths), Yoongi and Taehyung actually did something right. Jungkook didn’t really know the details of their plan, all that he knew was that they would find a way to “make you see what you were missing” so that you would ���come crawling back to him”. Which didn’t sound threatening at all.
Countless possibilities crossed Jungkook’s head — horror movie hauntings, Taehyung invading your dreams with claws for fingers, Yoongi with a wet wig crawling out of your TV — but, in the end, no matter how much he insisted, the two of them just wouldn’t say a word. Apparently, there was a lot going on backstage that Jungkook had no idea about, so he should just “take it easy” and wait for the sequence of events to unravel. Amazing. Now he knew how the characters in Final Destination felt.
“Just be patient, young one,” Taehyung had told him, thrown over his couch like a Victorian monarch. “All you need to know is that she will be back. Everything else it’s just… details.”
And, two weeks after the dormitory incident, you did.
There was a muffled thud as you placed your large books over the wooden table, and sat down across from him. The silence of the library didn’t allow for Jungkook to foresee your arrival, and to meet your gaze so suddenly was enough for his face to burn up in shame, his heart drumming against his ribcage. His sympathetic system really needed to quit with that bullshit before he collapsed.
“Hey,” you mumbled, seeming just as uncomfortable as he was. “Can we talk? You know what about.”
The boy swallowed dry, and leaned a bit forward. “Y-Yeah, sure,” he whispered back. “I’m really sorry, Y/N, I don’t know why I thought—”
“For how long?” you sliced his sentence short, making his lips fall shut.
Jungkook raised his eyebrows in surprise. “What?”
You cleared your throat, and shuffled on your seat. As much as the library was practically empty, neither of you felt courageous enough to use your usual voice tone — especially when dealing with that subject. “How long have you been able to, you know, see them?”
Jungkook took a second to respond, licking his dry lips and looking at the line of bookshelves as if seeking for the right thing to say. He felt awkward enough just interacting with someone from the opposite sex, but talking about the ghosts he saw? Hell, that bordered on a panic attack. Especially after the circus show that was that past study session. “Almost two years now, I think,” he finally answered. “But they told me they’ve been around for a bit longer. I just couldn’t see it.”
You shook your head in concordance, even if the information was everything but easy to understand. “That’s crazy,” you spoke. “I don’t know how you deal with it.”
Jungkook let out a dry chuckle. “Not very well, as you can probably tell.”
“I don’t think I can judge you. I didn’t precisely react well either.” You swallowed dry, wide eyes flickering on the world behind Jungkook. “Are we alone now?”
As much as he already knew the answer, he looked around just to check. “Surprisingly, yeah,” Jungkook responded, slightly suspicious. Yoongi and Taehyung were always looking over his shoulder and throwing him into messy situations, he couldn’t tell why they weren’t there when, quite frankly, it was their perfect shot at humiliation. Maybe they really were doing their jobs for once. “I don’t know why they’re not here. That’s weird.”
You shrugged as if to say that you wouldn’t know either. “What are their names again?”
“Yoongi and Taehyung,” he answered, then waited another second to see if he could feel their presence. Nothing again. That was really strange — they often responded upon being called. “Listen, Y/N, I hate what we went through. They had no right to say those things. I’m used to the privacy issues, since I have been with them for a while. But you aren’t, and I can only imagine how weird you felt hearing all that. I’m really, really sorry.”
You pressed your lips together which, Jungkook guessed, was a failed attempt to suppress the rubor that exploded across your cheeks. He couldn’t blame you, though, for there were limits that were crossed. “I’m over it if you are,” was what you forced yourself to say.
“I am,” he lied. None of you were particularly good at not telling the truth, and that was pretty obvious. But ignoring it was a start.
“Good, okay.” You cleared your throat, placing the palms of your hands against the pile of books. “Sorry for lying about needing help in physiology, and all that. I just needed an excuse to spend more time with you, as you know now. I guess it’s obvious that I kinda have a huge crush on you.”
“It’s fine.” Jungkook laughed, extremely relieved to notice that your last sentence was in present tense. “I kinda have a huge crush on you too.”
Honestly, even if it wasn’t for life, he’d have to give you props for still liking a guy that had had a borderline psychotic breakdown in your apartment, talked about your pet tortoise, and your masturbation technique, and still had the nerve to expose you to the supernatural world. It was a lot. Good on you for taking it like a champ.
“And,” he continued, “sorry for using my ghosts to expose your secrets. I just needed to find a way for you to believe me, and I had no idea about what they were going to say. I was pretty much in a frenzied state, I wasn’t thinking straight. It won’t happen again.”
“Apologies accepted.” You smiled, relieved. You were really beautiful, Jungkook thought in a breathless instant. He could look at you all day. “You know, it’s going to take me some time to get used to all that. I mean, I’m still not a hundred percent sure I believe in everything, but, I… My lamp flew across the room, and you told me things that you simply couldn’t know about. So, if it’s a prank, it’s a really good one.”
“I know how it is.” He nodded in agreement. “It was really difficult for me at first, too. I understand if you’d rather just stay away from me from now on.”
You sighed, looking down at your books — the two mammoth-sized volumes of Harrison’s Internal Medicine staring at you in mockery. “Weird thing is: I don’t really want to.” You crossed your arms and leaned back against the chair. Was that the sound of angels singing? Jungkook couldn’t tell. “I’d love to spend more time with you. Alone, if possible. And that counts both planes of existence.”
“Sounds fair, I’d love that.” Jungkook smiled. As he met your eyes, he was filled with a warm, rose-colored courage that he had never felt before. “Actually, I was wondering if, you know… you wanna do something? With me? Alone, of course. No ghosts. One of these days, I don’t know. If you’re not busy—”
You raised your eyebrows, interested. “You’re asking me out?”
He sighed, shoulders falling in defeat. “Trying, yeah. You can see I’m not the best at that either.”
Your smile grew a little. “That’s a big yes.”
“Really?” Jungkook stared at you like a lost puppy, his mind going completely blank for a second or two. The hamster in his brain was now somersaulting through his body, landing on his stomach and hitting him with a wave of nausea. “Wow, thanks. I don’t really have an idea of what we could do, though. Didn’t think I’d get that far.”
There was an instant of quietude as you thought for a moment, the space between the two of you permeated by the vague sounds of pages turning. “Movies?” You asked.
“Sounds great.” Jungkook smiled openly, his shoulders falling in alleviation. He didn’t know what Taehyung and Yoongi had done, but he was beyond thankful for it. Seemed like their sacrifices weren’t in vain, after all. “The film majors are doing this 2000’s marathon this week. I think this Saturday it’ll be either Mean Girls or 17 Again.”
“I’m in,” you spoke excitedly. “I’ll be there, just text me the details.”
Jungkook almost swallowed his own tongue as he watched you stand up, presenting him with a gorgeous view of thighs beneath the level of your skirt. “Great!” He exclaimed a bit too loud, his voice a bit too high-pitched, awakening his inner thirteen-year-old. He cleared his throat, lowering his voice another octave. “I mean, yeah, great. Thank you for… saying yes.”
“Thank you for asking.” You placed your hair behind your shoulder, and leaned in to pick up the heavy pile of books. All nine kilos of Internal Medicine.
“See you there,” he said.
You smiled. “See you, Kookie.”
Jungkook watched you walk away as if he was floating in a fever dream, completely unable to believe what had just unfolded. Did he seriously manage to get a date with you? Of all people? He must’ve been hallucinating. Maybe he ended up falling down the stairwell and died, perhaps that was his heaven, and he would—
Behind him, Taehyung sneered. “Kookie? You’re getting softer than your dick.”
Jungkook turned around so brusquely that the chair tilted back and, if it wasn’t for him holding down to the corner of the table, he would’ve fallen to the ground. “You two were there all along?” He whispered-screamed. Before he could land a sermon on them, though, he met the devilish smirk that was plastered all over Yoongi’s features. Oh no. No. The movies. “No, Yoongi, I know what you’re thinki—”
“Get in, loser, we’re going to the movies.”
_________________
Saturday rolled around and, with it, came your much anticipated movie date. Jungkook had spent the previous night tossing and turning on his bed, completely monopolized by anxiety, thinking about every possible apocalyptic scenario that could go down. What if he tried to take a slip of his drink, but ended up blinding himself with the straw? Maybe he would step on the wrong chord and set the entire college on fire. Or maybe he would trip, fall down on a poor girl, and kill her on the spot. That would be awful, you would never talk to him again after any of that — the imaginary disappointment in your face was like a punch in the gut.
Was he being ridiculous? Obviously. Did that stop his pre-date panic? Obviously not.
Still, with the might of a thousand warriors, Jungkook managed to drag himself to your date, his knees almost giving out beneath him when he saw you — he didn’t believe you would actually come, for some of him still thought it was all a sadistic heaven prank. Somehow, he blurted out a compliment about how good you looked while he was having a heart attack, and almost lost his consciousness when you smiled at him.
Yep, it would be a difficult night.
The movie marathon consisted of three 2000’s movies, and the two of you managed to arrive right before Mean Girls started, fumbling on your seats as the rest of the room grew quiet. The makeshift classroom didn’t look like a movie theater in the slightest, but it wasn’t as if you were expecting that in the first place — it was nothing more than an agglomeration of chairs and desks, combined with a few puff chairs and old couches scattered around. Much to your delight, you and Jungkook managed to grab one of those couches before another couple returned to their seats, and he could see that his ghost buddies had already found their own place on the empty chairs behind the two of you.
Surprise! None of the catastrophic scenarios in his mind actually came true. In fact, he had a great time with you, laughing at your jokes and sometimes flat-out stealing Yoongi’s commentary just to make you chuckle, which granted him a few mumbled complaints coming from the back row.
“Jungkook is so superior, don’t you think, Taehyung?” Yoongi mocked, and Jungkook was sure that he would be kicking his seat if he could. “So smart. So great. But can’t even figure out his own jokes. Has to steal them from a poor dead man. You’re a grave robber.”
Taehyung chuckled. “Hey, you’re helping him, at least. That’s our whole point here.”
“Grave robber!” he repeated, more aggressively this time. “I can’t believe you’d ruin Mean Girls for me like this. Not even hell would be so cruel.”
“How dare you say that about hell? If I get in trouble because you can’t keep your mouth shut, Yoongi, I swear to God—”
“Now you’re saying God’s name in vain, you heretic! That’s so much worse!”
Jungkook had to bite back a laugh as the two continued bickering behind him, only half aware of the scene in which Regina George glued her own picture on the burn book. He didn’t know when exactly he had done it — he had been so on edge the entire night that it was almost as if his own brain was instantly deleting his memories, but he had managed to curl one arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. He was sure that you could hear the frantic heartbeat of his heart against his chest, but he didn’t mind. He didn’t think he could even get that far.
But he did, and even reached beyond that.
Once the screen faded to black and the credits started appearing, there was a resounding wave of claps in the room, cheering for the absolute cultural reset that was that movie. One of the students moved to the front of the room, explaining that they would take a ten minutes break, then would return with She’s All That. Apparently, 1999 was close enough to the 2000’s for it to be picked as well.
“Do you wanna stay and watch it?” He asked, fighting every muscle in his body not to smell your hair. He knew that it would be super creepy, yeah, but your head was right there and it smelled so good.
You removed your body from his chest, looking up at him. “I would love to, but I have to wake up early tomorrow to study,” you said. “Big test on Monday.”
“Sure, yeah.” Jungkook nodded, slightly let down. To be honest, he had completely forgotten that information until that point. Seems like he would have a lot to catch up on during the next day. “I’ll walk you to your dorm.”
You thanked him with a smile, and you two got moving.
The walk back to your place wasn’t exactly awkward, but it could have also been a lot better. The two of you talked about the movie animatedly, the subject that you had to study — an awful amount of gastric pathology to memorize — and, eventually, landed on your weirdest experiences during hospital rounds. You were in the middle of telling him how two toddlers (twins) managed to puke on you at the same time, and how you thought that was a sign of a telepathic connection between the two, when he felt the back of his hand brush against yours, and everything around him turned into static. Suddenly, it was all that he could think about.
Jungkook had already spent the entire date with questions flying around his head. When was the right time to pull you close? Could he hold your hand, or would that be too bold? Could you smell how sweaty he was? Or maybe his deodorant was too strong? If he ran away, trained to be an astronaut, and joined the Mars colonization mission, would he be able to avoid embarrassing himself again?
And, more importantly: would it be weird to kiss you goodnight?
Considering the fact that he had no clue how to read your body language, and that almost all of his romantic experience came from bad sitcoms and Twilight marathons with Yoongi, Jungkook didn’t judge himself suited to answer that last question. He didn’t know if he should hold your hand, he didn’t know if you were just being polite or if you actually had a good time. Again and again, his anxiety got the best of him. He should really get back to seeing his campus counselor.
“So… we’re here,” you said, holding your hands in front of your body. You had stopped at the entrance of your block, and Jungkook took that as a sign that you didn’t want him to go all the way back to your apartment. Fair enough. “Thank you for tonight, I had a lot of fun. We should do this again sometimes.”
“For sure, yeah.” Jungkook nodded, somewhat relieved that you asked for that. At least that was a clear sign that you didn’t completely hate him. “That would be great.”
You agreed and looked down at your shoes. The darkness of the night enveloped the two of you, only half of your features illuminated by the dim yellow shine of the nearest light post. Jungkook almost fainted when you stared into his eyes, with a faint blush painting your cheeks, and questioned, “So, you’re not gonna kiss me?”
Windows’ blue screen. Please, hold.
“I… I, uh—” Jungkook’s mouth felt as if he had just swallowed an entire desert, his brain fighting to keep his voice steady. Your eyes, so focused and expectant, felt like daggers against his chest. “I didn’t know if you wanted to,” he finally admitted.
Your shoulders fell as a tender smile curled up on your roseate lips. Jungkook thought you were the most beautiful thing he had ever had the pleasure of seeing. “I do,” you told him gently. His heart almost leaped out of his throat. “Do you want to?”
And that was the easiest question that he would ever answer. “Yeah,” Jungkook said.
You smiled. “Perfect.”
The boy barely had time to react before your hand was curling around the fabric of his shirt, and you pulled him towards you in a playful tug. Jungkook’s eyes stayed comically widened for a second after your lips met, but, soon enough, he allowed himself to melt into your embrace, his nervous hands landing on your waist, and his mind instantly calming down.
He kissed you slowly, carefully, almost afraid that, at the faintest of movements, reality would shatter and he would lose that moment forever. Of course, it didn’t, and he stayed on that instant a bit longer before, at last, he pulled away, slightly breathless.
“I should’ve done that sooner,” he confessed.
You tilted your head at him, fingers playing with his hair. “It happened at the right time,” you said. “Some things can’t be rushed. Especially the good ones.”
Just like that, he understood what Taehyung and Yoongi had been saying all those years. No matter how cliche it was, there was some truth to the saying that ‘what is supposed to happen, will’. And, the better that something is, the more work it will require.
But, as he kissed you again, Jungkook realized that it was all worth it in the end.
____________
The following months by your side were so amazing that Jungkook constantly brought back his theory that “maybe he was actually dead, and that was heaven.” And, if it was, he would make sure to shake God’s hand himself because, holy fuck, was he one lucky man.
Okay, maybe the first few weeks together were a bit painfully cringe-worthy, but he was really trying to pretend as if they didn’t happen. Jungkook didn’t really get the memo, and he had to slowly figure out how to behave romantically with you. He got it wrong the first few times — kissing you at the worst possible moment, or sending you a huge bouquet of roses during your microbiology exam — but, eventually, you guided him towards more neutral grounds. Then everything went smoothly.
Surprisingly, even the undead duo calmed down for a while. Yoongi and Taehyung were still around, since they had no other option, but were much quieter now, only making punctual remarks when Jungkook made a fool out of himself. Hell, they even left the room when things started getting more serious between the two of you, instead of giving Cosmopolitan-worthy advice, and that was a huge improvement.
But, of course, it wouldn’t be Jungkook’s life if there wasn’t a huge joke waiting just around the corner. Soon enough, another issue would present itself.
It came in the form of a warm mumble against his lips, and the vague — yet deliciously noticeable — rolling of your hips against his own. “Jungkook,” you called, breathless after a long make-out session. The two of you were on his couch, with you sitting on his lap, straddling him. “I want you.”
He froze. What else would he do? Jungkook was a panicked virgin. He knew that your intimate times would happen eventually — and he really wanted them to — but he didn’t expect that his mind would completely malfunction once he got so close, with his erection growing inside his pants and the softness of your breasts pressing against his torso. It was just a lot, alright?
And, lost amidst the tempestuous sea of his sudden despair, all that he could utter back was, “Are… Are you sure you want to do this right now?”
“Yeah.” You placed a strand of hair behind your ear. Jungkook thought that he could faint on the spot. It was actually a pretty common sensation with him. “You don’t want it?”
“No — I mean yeah! Yeah, I want it.” He choked on his words, looking down in embarrassment, only to meet the contour of your thighs. His youth leader had been right all along: temptation was everywhere. “I’m just… I’ve never done anything before.”
“Hey, it’s okay,” you tried to calm him down, placing your hands on his shoulders. The heat of your palms seemed to have some effect on the chaotic emotions that boiled inside him, for his muscles relaxed considerably under your touch. “I won’t pressure you, okay? If you want to take more time, it’s completely fine.”
“No, it’s not like that. I don’t feel pressured.” He shook his head, then looked up at you. You could almost feel the conflict inside his gaze, the mixture of anticipation and fear that you knew all too well. “I want you, Y/N, I really do. I’m just nervous.”
“It’s fine,” you repeated. “We don’t have to do anything now, and we can start slo—”
But he couldn’t listen to the end of your phrase, because a familiar voice damn near hollered from the other side of the room. “Taehyung, come in here! Quick!” Yoongi yelled, signaling through the door like he was controlling the air traffic. “He’s getting some! Jungkook’s about to get his cherry popped the fuck off!”
You tilted your head to the side, staring him down with preoccupation. “Jungkook? Are you okay?”
“The fuck! There is no fucking way!” Taehyung’s voice got louder as he yelled, signaling his growing proximity. “Call NASA right now!”
Jungkook sighed, throwing his head against the couch. Goodbye erection, and goodbye any chance of having sex that day. “Yoongi and Taehyung just showed up,” he mumbled bitterly.
You lowered your gaze and took a deep breath, then removed yourself from his lap. Jungkook hated the lack of heat, and he swore he would have drop-kicked the two if they weren’t in a different dimension. The certainty of death was all that he needed to know that he would get his revenge some day. “Of course they did,” you complained, fixing your clothes. “I love being cockblocked by cockless ghosts. Again.”
“Hey!” Taehyung sounded actually offended.
Jungkook turned around harshly, his voice bitter. “Can the two of you just fuck off? This is not the time.”
“So you two can fuck?” Yoongi grinned, then looked at Taehyung. “We should, actually.”
“Jungkook… this is too weird now.” You raised your hands in a silent bargain for it all to stop. You could deal with a few psychic sessions every once in a while, but being a voyeurism victim for ghosts wouldn’t be the way you wanted to spend your afternoon. “Let’s do this another time, okay? I should get going anyways. Big day at the hospital tomorrow.”
He took one of his hands to his face, massaging his temple. You got up from the couch, reaching for your backpack. “Yeah, okay.” The boy pouted, and you leaned in to give him a quick peck on the lips. Disappointing end for a night, to say the least. “Good luck tomorrow. Text me if you get an interesting case!”
“Thanks! I will.” You threw your backpack strap over your shoulder and started walking towards the exit. Jungkook couldn’t blame you for just wanting to leave that place as soon as possible, he was sure that the discomfort was much worse for you. “Bye, Jungkook! I’ll let you know when I get to my place.”
He opened his mouth to thank you, but you were already out the door. The lock clicked shut, and the silence became thick, mocking him. Even if he already had an actual girlfriend, Jungkook still found himself being left behind by someone that would never want to see him again — dick semi-hard and morale shattered on the ground. Seems like he always found himself back in that position.
Taehyung materialized on the couch next to him, hugging his knees. He was staring at the closed door, somewhat expecting that you would come back, but knowing very well that you wouldn’t do so. “Okay, I accept that it was our fault,” he said, oscillating his gaze towards Jungkook. “Sorry, man. We are like, super invested in this. There’s almost nothing interesting going on in the afterlife and this is, like, better than any TV show airing right now.”
Jungkook rolled his eyes, utterly exhausted at the mess that had become his life. He was done giving them sermons: it had basically turned into the world’s worst pastime and gave little to no results. “You know what? Just promise me you’re not going to show up next time.” He stared both of them down. “I don’t wanna be watched, that’s just weird. And I know that Y/N isn’t happy about that either.”
Yoongi shrugged. “Some people like it.”
“Yeah, I’m not one of those people,” he told him. “Guys, please. I know you two are as excited as I am about this, and I appreciate your... support, but I think this is something I need to do alone. In peace. Not being watched by spirits. That’s isn’t too much to ask.”
“He’s right, you know?” Taehyung said, looking back at Yoongi. “We should stay in our lane for now.”
The other ghost looked down at his feet, which basically morphed into the carpet beneath them. For the first time in two long years, he actually seemed like he was rethinking his actions. “Yeah, sorry,” Yoongi responded. “We got carried away. We’ll leave next time. Maybe try something when your neighbors are having a movie night.”
Jungkook’s shoulders fell in alleviation. Maybe not everything was doomed. “Thank you,” he spoke, then nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I’ll probably do that. When is the next one?”
Taehyung looked at Yoongi, then back at him. “What are the chances that you’re gonna get your virgin shit together by tomorrow night?”
___________
Slim to none, actually, but he had managed to (kind of) do it. Focus on the “kind of.”
Jungkook had spent the previous night doing in-depth research about sexual intercourse, and basing his actions in real-life situations. That meant that he stayed up until four in the morning watching porn. Not masturbating. Just watching it very closely and trying to learn what to do — like an actual serial killer.
“Do you think that this is… a good idea?” Taehyung spoke from the other side of his room, preoccupation plastered all over his face. The whole porn-science was funny for the first twenty minutes, and then it just ended up being terrifying. “You know that people don’t actually have sex like that, right? It’s all exaggerated.”
“Quiet!” Jungkook raised his finger after a particularly loud moan echoed, his eyes red and glued to the computer screen. The white light from his device was awfully sharp, bathing his figure and making his image border on demonic. It really wasn’t a good look. “I’m researching. I need to know what to do.”
“You look and sound like a maniac.” Taehyung walked closer to the bed, measuring his movements. After he died, he thought that he would never be afraid of any other living thing — but Jungkook had just proved him wrong. Against his best judgement, he took a peek at the screen. “No! Oh my— That’s not natural. That’s so wrong. You should know, you studied anatomy.”
“I’m not gonna do this tomorrow,” Jungkook mumbled, closing the video. Taehyung recoiled back to the darkness of the room like a vampire that had just been touched by the sun. “The plot was interesting.”
“You’re not even hard, man,” he said, pointing at Jungkook’s trousers. “This is like, really weird. You should stop before you have some problem getting it up tomorrow.”
“What are you trying to say?” He narrowed his eyes, paranoid. “That wouldn’t happen. I know what I can do.”
“You’re the medical student, take a look,” Taehyung insisted. “There’s research about that, pornography affects young men and women a lot and— Actually, what the fuck am I talking about? This is crazy. I should’ve left with Yoongi.”
“Wait, I just—” Jungkook closed his computer with a sigh. His hair was disheveled and his gaze was unfocused. It really was the oddest night in Taehyung’s life/death. “I just don’t know what to do tomorrow. I’m about to have an anxiety attack. It’s like the third one tonight.”
Taehyung pressed his lips together, the discomfort inside him being replaced by a warm sense of understanding. “Man, she knows you don’t have experience. She isn’t expecting a porn star performance, or whatever the fuck you were just watching.” He pointed to the computer, which was now neglected amongst the sea of blankets. “By the way, I’m a changed spirit. I hate you for making me see that.”
Jungkook would have laughed at his distress if he wasn’t too tired to do that. “Technically, you decided to look at it yourself,” he corrected. “But, yeah, I know she’s not expecting anything great. But I don’t wanna make a fool out of myself, you know? Not like it’s a rare occasion or anything.”
Taehyung shrugged. Being alive made everything seem so much more important than it actually was, he thought. “Lay back and let her take the lead, then.”
Jungkook furrowed his brow, his eyes widening at the idea. Of course! That was the big galaxy brain moment he needed all along. “Are you serious? It’s that simple?” He asked, hopeful.
Taehyung chuckled. “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
Yeah. It was that simple. Who would’ve thought that those see-through idiots actually would have something intelligent to say?
Really, it was a time of miracles in Jungkook’s life. The following day, the planets aligned and, for the first time ever since puberty, everything went right for him: the class ended a bit early, his neighbors decided to watch two movies instead of one, and his place was perfectly devoid of any paranormal activity by the time you wandered into it.
He didn’t tell you that he had planned that entire thing before it happened — he thought it would be super strange to schedule his virginity loss out loud — and he was glad to see that everything evolved naturally. One hour and forty minutes after you arrived, you two were already at the same point that you had left the day before — only, this time, you two actually managed to get to his bed.
“They’re not here, are they? You’re sure?” You asked in between kisses for what should’ve been the fifth time.
“No, I asked them to leave earlier.” Jungkook’s hands pressed down on your hips, the sensation of your center rolling against his erection eliciting a sigh from him. Ha! Fuck Taehyung and his soft dick curse. “I actually… Before we do anything, I actually wanted to know if you could, you know, help me a little.”
You hummed, taking your face away from his. Jungkook watched as you licked your lips, your eyes dazed, and leaned in to place another kiss against his mouth. “In what way?” You asked.
“Just... show me what to do,” he said. “What you like, if I’m doing something wrong… everything.”
With a soft smile, you agreed, arms curling around his shoulders. “Of course,” you told him. “It’ll be my pleasure.”
That being said, you dove back to his lips, feeling as he both simultaneously relaxed and tensed up under your touches. Jungkook had evolved a lot in those past few months, you realized, since the early-dating version of him wouldn’t find himself in that position without turning into a stuttering, blushing mess beneath you. It was kind of cute, but you’d never say that out loud.
You felt his hands trailing up your back, underneath your clothes, his palms dwelling in the softness of your skin for a moment before, in a courageous movement, he decided to pull your shirt up. There was a short separation of your mouths as the piece of clothing slid up your arms, and collapsed against the floor in a puddle of cotton.
Jungkook sighed once he felt the lace of your bra against his hands; the softness of your breasts was something that he continuously daydreamed about. Now, without the barrier of your clothes, all that he needed was to remove that last constriction and he would be—
“Oh well…” He chuckled nervously, fumbling with your bra. “Sorry, I don’t know how to open this.”
You smiled at the embarrassment that danced around his features. “Relax, okay?” You said, moving your hands to your back and taking care of that problem yourself. You’d teach him about the magic of unclasping bras another time. “It’s fine.”
But Jungkook didn’t have time to think about an answer, for soon your bra was meeting your shirt on the floor. His reaction would’ve been the same if you just moved over and came back with a baby dinosaur in your hands — his eyes widening in amazement as he took in the image of your nude breasts, a small whimper perishing in his throat as he slithered his hands upward, cupping them.
Your breath stopped for a moment when he leaned in, reluctant, and enveloped one of your nipples with his warm mouth, his tongue delicately coming out to trace circles on your sensitive flesh. Jungkook groaned at the sensation, his cock becoming unbearably hard against his pants, and tilted your body over so he could be on top of you.
You curled up against the sheets, sighing in delight as the boy continued to work on your breasts, kissing and sucking lightly, taking his time. Every time you looked down, you could see that Jungkook was having almost as much fun as you, the small moans that dripped from his tongue vibrating inside your chest.
“Does it feel good?” He raised his gaze towards you, expectant. “Am I doing a good job?”
“Yes, very good.” Your hands curled around the roots of his hair. The action was gentle, but Jungkook shuddered under the sensation — every small movement proved itself to be a lot for him to handle. “You’re doing amazing. Is there something that you want to do, Kookie?”
The boy licked his lips, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed hard. Part of him (probably the sleep deprived one) still didn’t believe that you two were actually doing that — that it wasn’t just a figment of his horny imagination. No, it was real. You were right there in front of him, beautiful and devastating, caressing his hair as you waited for an answer.
“I… I want to make you feel good,” he said, wide-eyed and hesitant. His dick felt painfully hard being so constructed by his pants and, suddenly, he became aware of how clothed he still was. No wonder it was so hot. “Just tell me what you want me to do.”
Your lips curled up at his adorableness, one of your hands meeting his wrist. Patiently, you guided it down, and placed it on the hem of your pants. “Can you touch me?” You questioned. “I can tell you what I like.”
“Oh, please,” he almost pleaded, his hand already fumbling to open your pants. Much to his delight, those were a lot easier than your bra, and they were soon sliding down your legs with ease.
He took a moment to take in your form, eyes traveling up from your legs, to your hips, then all the way back to your breasts. As Jungkook met your gaze, he allowed for a suspire of relief to depart from his mouth, shoulders relaxing. “I’m so lucky,” he spoke, “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”
The smile that you presented him looked brighter than all of the stars above. “Come here,” you called, leaning against your elbows. “Give me a kiss.”
Obedient, Jungkook did as you requested, a grunt escaping his chest once you pulled him into a sloppy kiss, nails brushing lightly against the skin of his neck. He had goosebumps at the sensation, his hand moving by its own will, navigating down your stomach and towards your heat.
His fingers hovered, insecure, over the hem of your panties for a moment. Still, at the sound of his name being spoken against the kiss, he was overtaken by an ephemeral spark of courage. Soon, your panties were on the floor too.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” Jungkook whined at the contact, his fingers dwelling just above your entrance. Inside his pants, his cock twitched at the sensation, his lower body already tingling with excitement. He didn’t know how he would manage not to cum in his pants, but he would have to find a way. “What do I do now?”
“Now...” you said, leaning your head against the pillow. “Move up and find my clit. Make all those hours of anatomy worth it,” you joked.
Jungkook nodded, but anatomy was much more difficult when he wasn’t actually looking at a certain part of the body — he was much more interested in watching your expression. Embarrassed, he did as you requested, trailing his wet fingers up until you told him to stop. “Right there,” you said, sighing once you felt his hand pressing down on it, starting to trace small circular patterns. “That’s it, baby, great job.”
His heart leaped at the compliment, and his actions became firmer. Jungkook thought he would go insane when he heard you whimper and cry out at the sensation, your hips bucking up against his hand ever so slightly. “You’re so hot,” he breathlessly confessed, his words coming in a hot puff of air against your neck. His digits slowly trailed down, towards your entrance, and he paused. “Can I?”
“Yeah,” you agreed.
Jungkook swallowed hard, adventuring one finger inside you. At the sensation of your walls clenching around him, he moaned, biting his lip. “God, you’re so tight,” he told you, adding a second finger. You raised your hips at the contact, hands curling on his hair. “I can’t wait to feel you around my cock.”
His mouth came back to your breasts, sucking and licking your flesh. Jungkook was a mess, you realized — pressing down his hard member against your thigh, whining against your skin as his fingers curled inside you, sinking into your wetness. God, you weren’t made of steel. “I want it,” you told him, and he didn’t understand your words for a moment. “I want to feel you, Jungkook.”
And he didn’t need anything else. The boy moved away from your body and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it on the floor alongside the rest of your clothes. It was no time for hesitation— he didn’t know how much of his precious alone time he had left. “Condoms.” He pointed at his nightstand. “Top drawer.”
You turned around on the bed, reaching for the furniture as the boy unbuckled his belt and clumsily removed his pants. The mattress bounced beneath you as Jungkook tossed himself around, finding a way to lose his balance as he threw his pants on the ground. Much to his relief, you weren’t paying much attention to it.
He was already panting — in a mixture of excitement and his pathetic effort to remove his pants — by the time that you gave him the condom. “Do you put it on, or do you want me to?” You asked.
Jungkook had trained on enough bananas to know that he could do it, but he wasn’t gonna let the chance to have you touching him down there pass. “You do it, please.”
You nodded, sitting next to his expectant figure. Jungkook’s chest rose and fell in anticipation, his muscles glistening with the small droplets of sweat that decorated his caramel skin. His cock was hard and heavy against the fabric of his grey underwear, practically calling for your care.
Attentively, you watched as his abdomen tensed up at the feeling of one of your hands pressing down against his clothed erection, delicately moving towards his crown. A gasp tumbled from his lips as you rolled your thumb against it, noticing the wetness that had already accumulated beneath your hand, and he rolled his hips against the pressure. Really, Jungkook was too precious.
“Please, don’t tease,” he begged, eyes following your every move. His cock throbbed in your hands, needy. “I don’t think I can hold it much longer.”
With a hum of agreement, you moved your hand away from his erection, and pulled his underwear down gently. Jungkook whimpered at the fiction, and the way his cock was freed from its constraints, bouncing back against his abdomen. The smallest of touches was more than enough for him to lose himself.
“Shhh, it’s fine,” you calmed him down, slowly (too slowly) rolling the condom on him. His hands clenched into fists next to him, grabbing handfuls of the white sheets. Okay, maybe you were being a bit mean. “Just tell me what you want.”
Jungkook closed his eyes for a moment, holding back a cry of frustration. “Ride me, please,” his words came out in a plea, his expression so permeated by need that you thought that he could cry if you teased him any further. God, everything was so perfect about him — the glistening in his onyx irises, the reddening of his lips as he bit down on them, trying to fight back a whimper as you placed yourself over him. “I— I need to feel you. I’m going crazy.”
There was no need for more convincing — again, you weren’t made of steel.
You sighed as you sank down on his member, one of your hands finding support against his pecs, as the other curled around his cock, guiding him inside you. Jungkook closed his eyes and threw his head against the alabaster pillow, his flower-like lips opening to cry out at the sensation. “Oh fuck,” he cursed. “Oh, baby, that’s so good.”
Seeing him like that, so submissive, so deliciously responsive to your faintest of touches, was, at the very least, extremely erotic. You loved to see the way he flinched and whined at the sensation of your walls clenching around him, his hands unsure of where they should be on your body. Awfully slow, you rose your hips from him, almost letting him slip out, before you shifted your weight back down, watching as Jungkook moaned out your name.
God, he was really about to fall apart.
Slowly, you began setting a pace, moving up and down on his cock. It was a lot slower than Jungkook expected, but it was just the right speed to make him appreciate every sensation of your body wrapping his own.
“Feels good?” you asked, a bit breathless. The sensation of him filling you up was even better than you had anticipated, and, combined with his shameless exclamations of pleasure, you didn’t think that you’d last much longer either.
Before he could answer, a tremulous sigh ruptured upon his mouth, reverberating just behind his teeth. Jungkook took another second to find his words, inhaling sharply. “So good,” he spoke, and you almost whined out at the lust that ornamented his voice. “Can you move faster? Please?”
Maybe in different times, you’d take your time to provoke him a bit more. At that point, though, you’d do anything he wanted you to. “Yeah,” you agreed, doing as requested. The sound of your wetness and the slapping of skin against skin was lewd, filling the room alongside Jungkook’s voice. “Like this?”
“Fuck, yeah, like this,” he cried out, closing his eyes in absolute euphoria. He could feel the movement of your asscheeks against his palms, the sensation enough to drive him insane. Jungkook was already amazed at the fact that he didn’t embarrass himself with premature ejaculation the second that you removed his underwear — but it didn’t mean that he didn’t get close to it. The second his hands squeezed your ass, he was positive he would end the game a bit earlier than the two of you would like. “It— it feels so good. Please, don’t stop.”
With a moan, you threw your body forward, placing kisses on the curvature of his neck, a sensation that quickly sent shivers down his skin. The new angle made his cock hit even deeper inside you, causing for you both to melt in pleasure. “You feel so good,” you told him, nails digging against his flesh. The knot in your stomach was all too familiar, and you knew that you wouldn’t take much longer. “I love having you inside me.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s good.” He mumbled, only half aware of the words leaving his lips. Jungkook’s eyes were dazed and unfocused, looking at nowhere in particular, his fingertips digging in your flesh. “You’re… you’re getting tighter.”
“Y-Yeah,” you agreed, voice coming out in a moan. “I’m close.”
He swallowed hard. “I can help,” he said.
Before you could ask what he was trying to do, Jungkook moved his hand back to your center, two of his fingers playing with your clit. You gasped at the sensation, eyes closing as you kept riding him, rolling your hips, feeling as he reached for every part of you. It was all becoming too much, the pleasure that decorated his features, the delicious friction of his body against yours, the frail moans that dropped from his tongue like honey. He was just too much.
With a faint call of his name — a melody that would be stuck in his head forever —, you finally crossed the threshold of your orgasm, and came around him; morphing into a trembling and moaning mess. Jungkook watched, in absolute awe, as your face was monopolized by bliss, your teeth sinking down on your bottom lip and your eyes rolling back.
He removed his hand from your heat, placing it on your waist. Using every final ounce of energy in your body, you continued riding him. Through parted lids, you noticed that his thighs were starting to shake, signaling that he, too, was close. “Baby,” the boy called out, his fingers digging to the sides of your hips. Jungkook was both trying to guide your movements, and hold himself back to reality. It was a beautiful view — the way his expression lingered somewhere between delight and distress; his hips mindlessly trusting up against yours. “I think I’m gonna cum.”
You breathed out through your nose, trying to ignore the pleasure that, now, was turning into sensitivity. It felt good, in a way, but you were more focused on his relief at that point. “It’s okay, Kookie,” you told him, “you can let go.”
He had been so polite the entire time, with his “please” and “thank you’s. So, of course, when you told him that it was okay for him to cum, he did just as you requested.
Jungkook came with gasping breaths and a trembling, high-pitched moan, holding on to you as he thrusted his last sloppy advances towards your core. His hands, weak, fell on the bed besides him, clenching the sheets; eyelashes fluttering down as he dwelled on the afterglow of his pleasure. You could stay there forever, looking at the pink shade that colored his cheeks; the beautiful mess that his black hair had turned into; or the tears of relief that accumulated at the corner of his eyes.
But everything has to end, even the most beautiful ones.
His tongue came out to wet his lips, and his eyes, still hooded, met yours. Not even the biggest minds in the renaissance could’ve thought of an image so perfect, so ethereal. “You’re so amazing,” he praised. “That was… amazing.”
You smiled and leaned in to place a soft kiss against his lips. His member slipped out of you at the action, and his arms curled around your waist, keeping you in place. “You did pretty well,” you mumbled as you lazily curled up against his chest. Jungkook’s body was a delicious source of heat, and you could really get used to that. “I see a bright future ahead of you.”
He hummed, caressing your hair. Jungkook could finally smell it without being creepy, so that was a big victory for him. “You did most of the work,” he said.
“That’s not an issue.” You nuzzled his neck, pleasantly feeling as goosebumps spread throughout his body. Always so responsive. “I’ll let you take the lead next time, if that sounds good to you.”
Jungkook chuckled. “That’d be great, yeah,” he agreed. Part of him thought about using a few tricks he learned during his late-night research, but he wasn’t super sure that it would be a good idea. Maybe he should keep that card up his sleeve for a bit longer in case he needed to surprise you later. “Do you want to spend the night? It’s kind of late to go back to your place now.”
The words fell from his tongue with ease, surprising the boy for an instant. He noticed that he was much more comfortable in your presence, like the pieces of the puzzle had finally fallen into place. Not because of the sex itself, he realized, but because of the vulnerability and intimacy that came with it. It happened just as it was supposed to.
“I’d love to.” You smiled, and placed a kiss against his neck. “But I’m going to kick you out if you start snoring.”
“Out of my own place?” He asked.
You sighed, voice filled by traces of your upcoming slumber. “Don’t you test me,” you spoke, wrapping your arms around him. “Medical school is killing me, I need some sleep. And I will get it no matter the price.”
Jungkook laughed at your tired words, one of his hands caressing your head in infinite delicacy. As he held to your body, curling so perfectly against his own, he knew that everything would be okay. And maybe he needed a good night of sleep too.
A few minutes later, as he started to feel the sensation of his consciousness slowly drifting away to the land of dreams, a bittersweet sentiment overtook his chest. There was an instant, even if ephemeral, in which Jungkook believed he would never see Yoongi and Taehyung again — after all, the two had already concluded their mission: Jungkook got the girl and there was nothing else left for them to do. In between two consecutive breaths, he felt both relief and solitude. Silence wasn’t as welcoming once he realized no voice could break it.
Though, his melodramatic moment was short-lived. Behind him, a known timbre cheered for him:
“I’m so proud, I feel like a soccer mom.”
#bts fic#bts smut#fluff#crack#smut#bts fluff#bts crack#jungkook#jungkook fic#jeon jungkook#x reader#x you#bts x reader#bts x you#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook smut#jungkook crack#bangtan boys#yoongi#taehyung#reader insert#psychic!au#bts au#fanfic
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Life As We Know It {Chapter One}
Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.
Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.
Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara's blogs! >> @tacmc.
Life As We Know It Masterlist
Shelby's Masterlist
Tara's Masterlist
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e3fbae465f4bda4068f0f5db0ce44af3/d038d386d9258b46-df/s500x750/9150ae1b95f6417e5ea9c455a4a932fb3d4f5760.jpg)
5 years later….
Nyx looked at his birthday cake and the lone candle that was lit atop the icing before looking up at Feyre with a confused expression on his beautiful, little face.
His mother laughed, quietly, before leaning forward and taking out the candle. She had just blown out the flame when Rhys barely pushed the cake closer to Nyx, who put his chubby, little hands smack-dab in the middle of the icing and dug in.
Everyone had come to celebrate, and even Nesta couldn’t stop her smile from showing. At least, she let it show when she was on the opposite end of the house from the one and only, and massively self-centered, Cassian Nazari.
Of course, he would be at Nyx’s first birthday party. He was Nyx’s uncle - maybe not by blood, not that blood mattered when it came to Cassian, Rhysand, and their other lifelong friend, Azriel.
He, too, stood across the kitchen, watching as Elain snapped picture after picture of the jubilant baby, the mess atop his high chair the largest Nesta had ever seen. She knew Elain was taking notes for their own daughter’s birthday party, though she was barely three months old.
Rhysand’s smile was as big as Feyre’s as they watched their son, listening as his giggles filled the kitchen. Nyx realized quickly that the cake was for him alone and after smashing it for a few moments, he lifted a large handful to his chubby face and took a bite. His eyes lit up and that started the giggling anew.
Nesta loved her nephew and niece, had loved him since the day they were born, but she didn’t envy her sisters and their happy families. Unlike them, she had remained perfectly content on her own, especially after the endless string of disaster dates she had been forced to sit through throughout the years.
And children? It wasn’t that Nesta disliked kids. Not all kids, at least. She loved her nephew and niece, anyway. Having one of her own, though? Having to be around one every day? Every night? Having to constantly try and make a tiny person content?
No, thank you. That was a challenge she had little interest in.
A deep rumbling laugh came from across the house and Nesta looked up to find Cassian entering the kitchen, still chuckling at something Mor had said.
As hard as she tried, she couldn’t keep her lip from curling slightly as she looked at him. It only infuriated her more when he caught sight of her as he raised his beer to his lips and winked.
He was absolutely insufferable.
After their catastrophe of a date years ago, which Nesta had made Feyre promise was a stunt she’d never pull again, she had only been forced to be around Cassian Nazari a handful of times.
One of which was during Feyre and Rhysand’s wedding, only months after their date.
“You only have to walk with him for thirty seconds,” Feyre had sighed, while Mor continued to pin and curl her hair into place. “You don’t have to be happy about it.”
“Good,” Nesta said, draining the glass of champagne in her hand. “Because I’m not.”
As Feyre’s maid-of-honor, it was customary that she was supposed to walk out of the wedding arm in arm with Rhysand’s best man. She wished that he’d picked Azriel, but since it seemed the Cauldron hated her, it had to be Cassian.
Elain, who was harboring the world’s most obvious crush on Azriel at the time, was thrilled with how they’d be exiting the wedding. Nevertheless, she said to Nesta, “I think you two got off on the wrong foot. He’s a really good guy, Nes.”
Nesta shot her youngest sister a look of pure annoyance through the mirror’s reflection. “Have any of you ever been on a date with the guy? And not only a date, but the worst date of your life?”
Feyre snorted, fully aware of where this conversation was headed. “No.”
“Then you have no room to talk,” Nesta snapped, admiring herself in the mirror. “Mother’s tits, Feyre, he wore jeans to the nicest restaurant in Velaris!”
“At least he didn’t wear his boots,” Mor muttered, then she caught Nesta’s glare in the mirror. “Really? He wore his boots?”
“He was dressed for an all-night, summer bonfire,” Nesta said, shaking her head. “And he’s completely full of himself. And, he forgot his wallet!”
“Not like you can’t afford dinner,” Feyre said, and Nesta’s lips snapped shut. She was fully aware that the conversation had somehow become a let’s-pick-on-Nesta session.
Feyre added, “You have to walk back down the aisle with him, share an entire table during dinner, and that’s it. No one is asking you to dance with him, but be nice.” Nesta met Feyre’s eyes, her jaw set. Feyre sighed, “Fine, be civil.”
She scoffed, but nodded. “Fine.”
The ceremony itself went off without a hitch. It was beautiful and elegant and the perfect wedding Rhys and Feyre had always wanted.
She ignored Cassian’s unending looks the whole night, managed to give her maid-of-honor speech without snarling at him, and after that, took advantage of the open bar her sister and new brother had so kindly provided.
She was coming out of the bathroom, a glass of wine still clutched in her hand, doing her best not to trip over her own feet when she walked into a wall.
A wall of solid muscle that turned out to be Cassian’s back.
When he turned around and she looked up at him, his eyes were nearly as glazed as hers.
“Hello, Nes,” he said, smirking down at her.
She bit out, “Don’t call me that.”
“That was a pretty, little speech you gave,” he said, leaning against the wall. “I know true love exists cause I’ve seen it first hand. Poetic.”
Nesta scoffed, brushing off the skirt of her dress as if he had tainted it. “Don’t flatter yourself. I wasn’t referring to you. I was talking about Feyre and Rhys, in case you thought otherwise.”
“Oh, I didn’t,” he promised. “Honestly, I didn’t think you were talking about anyone. Just some fluffy shit that sounded sweet. Unless it’s that guy that showed up at the restaurant and ruined our date. Oh, wait,” he began, tapping his chin as if in deep thought, “You dumped him though, right? Poor bastard.”
“You’re a prick,” Nesta bit out. She refrained from saying that Tomas hadn’t ruined their date. It was sad that seeing her ex was one the bright points of her night, rather than seeing the Greek god standing before her. The pretentious, cocky asshole of a Greek god.
He only grinned. “But am I a liar?”
Nesta’s jaw locked. She eyed his tux. “I’m just glad you decided to clean up for your own brother’s wedding. No jeans?”
He scoffed. “Is that the worst you’ve got?”
“Do you prefer me to give you my worst?” she asked, brows furrowing. “If so, you may want to be careful what you wish for.”
Cassian said nothing, just lifted the beer she hadn’t noticed in his hands to his lips.
Nesta rolled her eyes, brushing past him, and made a move to head back into the reception.
His voice called out behind her, “You don’t have to be such a miserable bitch, you know?”
She froze, looking back at him. He was no longer smirking at her. Instead, his eyes were intense. “Excuse you?”
“You’re so miserable that you won’t allow anyone else to have any fun, won’t allow yourself to either,” he said, still leaning against that damn wall. He crossed his arms over his muscular chest, his dress shirt tight and loose in all the right places. “You want everyone else to suffer, just because you’re forcing yourself to, for whatever reason.”
“You don’t know a damn thing about me,” she bit out, stalking back over to him. She was so close she had to look up into his face.
“I don’t,” he said, words clipped. “I tried, but you didn’t seem very inclined to let me get to know you during our date. You were more concerned with my attire and your ex than you were with me. You thought all I wanted to do was fuck you.” His eyes, still glassy and glazed, dragged down her body and back up again. “Besides, you’ve got that damn stick shoved so far up your ass, there wouldn’t have been room for my cock even if I’d really even tried.”
A blink was Nesta’s only reaction. Then her hand was moving of its own accord, splashing her full glass of wine directly in his face and all over that pretty, white shirt.
“Go fuck yourself,” was all she’d said before she walked back into the ceremony, leaving him there to drip on the venue’s fancy carpet.
“Nesta!”
She blinked, Feyre’s voice drawing Nesta out of her memories, looking over at her sister. She stood next to Rhys and Elain, who had her camera in her hands, and Cassian stood behind Nyx’s high chair.
“I want a picture of him with his godparents, come here,” she beamed and Nesta tried not to cringe.
She had been so proud, her heart feeling like it would burst when Feyre and Rhys had asked her to be Nyx’s godmother. There was no hesitation when she said yes, tears lining her eyes as she’d hugged both her sister and brother-in-law.
She tried not to think about the fact that when they’d told her Cassian was his godfather, she nearly asked them to give the distinction to Elain.
But she hadn’t, wouldn’t. Despite what others, especially Cassian, thought of her… Nesta loved her nephew.
She loved her family.
With a sigh, Nesta meandered over to Nyx’s high chair. “Alright.”
“Closer,” Feyre ordered, gesturing Nesta to move in closer beside Cassian behind the high chair.
Nesta’s lips pursed but she took another step toward the boys for her sister’s sake.
“I’m not poisonous, Nesta,” Cassian muttered, smiling at the camera as he spoke. “You won’t burst into flames if we brush arms.”
“You’d be so lucky to brush arms with me,” she muttered back, hoping the smile she was giving her sister was convincing - and knowing full well that it wasn’t.
Without another word, Cassian tossed his arm around Nesta and said, “Cheeeeese!”
Nyx was giggling, looking up at his godparents behind him. There was so much joy and adoration in those big, beautiful eyes that Nesta didn’t have the heart to storm off, leaving Cassian in her dust, no matter how much she wanted to.
The camera’s flash went off and Nesta pushed Cassian’s arm off her shoulder.
The rest of the party was perfect. Feyre took Nyx up to the bathroom to clean him off, while Rhysand, Azriel, and Cassian hauled his many gifts out into the living room. Feyre opened them one by one, despite everyone knowing Nyx had no clue what was going on, though he did clap his chubby little hands and giggle at a few particular items. Nesta stood off to the side with Elain, holding a milk-drunk, sleepy Seph in her arms.
Azriel and Elain’s little girl had been a surprise, neither of them planning on Elain getting pregnant so soon after they got married. They both fell into the role of parents so seamlessly though, that Nesta knew another baby would be in their near future. They adored the baby girl, and she was the most perfect baby Nesta had ever seen.
Persephone hardly cried, only doing so when she was hungry or needed to be changed, and once whatever wrong was taken care of, she became a happy, smiley baby again.
Nyx, on the other hand, had been a hellion as a baby.
Which was to be expected, considering who his father was. Although responsible when necessary, Rhysand was just as much of a madman as Cassian...especially when infused with alcohol.
“You look good with a baby,” Elain crooned from beside her sister.
Nesta rolled her eyes. “You can keep trying to push me down the marriage-baby road, but I just won’t take it. Wasting your time.”
Elain sighed, dramatically, with that little grin remaining on her soft pink lips. “As long as you stay such a good auntie, I suppose I can’t complain.”
Nesta looked down at the sweet, sleeping infant in her arms. She didn’t mind those little snuggles.
She did mind the diaper blowouts, constant spit-ups, and loud crying, though. That’s usually when she gave Seph back to her parents and blissfully enjoyed her independent life.
Feyre gasped and Nesta looked up. She was holding a little guitar that had Nyx’s name and the night sky engraved into the dark-stained wood.
Nesta’s eyes snapped to Cassian.
Cassian smiled, fondly, at Feyre. “I know he won’t be able to start messing with it for another few years, but I couldn't help myself.”
“He made that himself, you know.” Nesta’s eyes shot to Elain, who was watching the scene before them. She whispered again, “He doesn’t do it for a living, of course, but it’s a hobby of his, making guitars. He’s really good.”
She blinked, the information catching her off guard for whatever reason. But all she said was, “That’s nice.”
She spent the rest of the afternoon, ignoring the man as much as she could, as she always did. But as the guests began to dwindle, as Nyx and Seph went down for their naps, the three sisters gathered in the living room, while Rhys, Azriel, and Cassian went out back to inspect the small jungle gym Rhys was building for Nyx. Again, he was too young to use most of it, but the tiny swing and slide would be hours of fun for the little man.
Feyre brought two cups of coffee out to her sisters before collapsing next to Elain on the couch. “That could not have gone better if we tried.”
Nesta leveled her a look and raised an eyebrow.. “If we tried? You had a minute-by-minute itinerary for a one-year-old’s birthday.”
“Everything was perfect,” Elain smiled, cutting off Nesta, blowing on her coffee gently. “Nyx had a good time, neither he nor Seph had a blow-up, Cassian and Nesta managed to be in the same room without stabbing each other. All in all, a good day.”
Nesta rolled her eyes before throwing a vulgar gesture towards her sisters, who were both laughing.
“Fine, new subject,” Feyre grinned. “Oh! Before I forget, Rhys and I are going out of town for our anniversary in a few weeks. I was hoping you could watch Nyx for a few days.”
It took Nesta a moment to realize that Feyre was talking to her. She froze, having been blowing on her own hot coffee. “I’m sorry, what?”
Feyre laughed, quietly. “I was hoping that you could watch Nyx while Rhys and I go away for a long weekend. We’re going to the mountains for our anniversary. To his family’s cabin.”
“Oh, that sounds nice,” Elain said, looking at Nesta.
Who blinked, having only unfrozen to set her coffee down on the table between them. “You want me…to watch Nyx…for the weekend? Alone? By myself? Just me and him?”
“That’s what I was hoping for, yeah,” Feyre said, nodding as she sipped from her cup. “You can come here, where all of his stuff is in one place, and make yourself at home.” She shrugged. “I’ll leave money for takeout and the key to the wine cabinet.”
Nesta hesitated. “I’ve only babysat Nyx a couple of times…all for, like, an hour each.”
“It will be fine,” she said, a genuine smile on her face. “It will only be three nights, really. We’ll leave after work on Thursday and be home Sunday evening.”
Nesta stammered and shook her head. “I have to work on Friday, the restaurant-.”
“I’ll keep him during the day on Friday,” Elain offered. “I don’t have any shoots that day, so he can spend the day with me and Seph.”
“You could keep him the whole weekend,” Nesta tried, looking at her younger sister hopefully.
“Seph is enough of a handful,” she chuckled, glancing at Feyre, who was nodding as well. “I don’t think I can handle two at once for an entire weekend.”
“Please, Nes,” Feyre said, drawing her eldest sister’s eyes to her. “I know you can do it and it would be nice for you to spend some time together, just you two.”
“And you can call me, if you need anything,” Elain added.
Nesta looked from Feyre to Elain. “You two already planned this.” They at least had the wherewithal to look guilty. She sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “Fine. But I’ll probably end up calling both of you every thirty seconds.”
“I can work with that,” Feyre said, just as Elain said, “Then it’s settled!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Nesta snorted, shaking her head. “But, I hope you know that I wouldn’t do this for anybody else.”
“Oh, I know,” Feyre grinned, “which is what makes you such a wonderful, wonderful big sister.”
“I am pretty damn wonderful,” Nesta agreed, grinning as she sipped from her mug.
As she drank, she peeked out the window, where the boys were putting together the playset. Once she did, only one thing caught her eye.
Cassian was already watching her.
And when he caught her gaze, that stupid little, cocky-ass grin appeared.
She hated that grin, hated it with every ounce of her being.
And she wouldn’t feel bad for it, no matter how much her sisters adored the guy.
She hated him, hated Cassian Nazari.
And she always would.
#life as we know it#snacmc lawki#shara#snacmc#nessian#nesta archeron#cassian#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf
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Waterfalls
A/N: We had so much fun writing the last one that we decided to do another one 👉🏼👈🏼This is another prompt from @majorharry’s 20k fic celebration! (congrats again cass, we lysm) we used prompt 40 “Cover up, please.” a nice little smutty possessive harry moment for you all in contrast to the last one ✨ - n + d
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masterlist
pairing: Harry Styles x Reader
warning: smut, exhibitionism, daddy kink, spit kink
word count: 3.3k
“Cover up, please.” Harry muttered, clenching his jaw noticing the stares coming over to them. It was to Y/N though. The pool party was a good idea in theory but once he realized people were going to see more of his lover in general, he felt that little (big) possessive head of his rear and he felt feral, a little bit. He didn’t like other people looking. Simply put— she was his. Of course she was her own person. Independent. She didn’t need him, but she chose to be his and that was the best damn thing that has happened for him. Adding in the fact that yes, Y/N was the most beautiful person he had ever experienced, he knew other people could see it too. Most of the time? He loved it. He showed her off to many people. But when she was showing so much skin and people’s minds would wander... he did worry. He didn’t like people imagining what her skin felt like or how it felt to grab his waist or how beautiful her shape really was. Harry took her cover up and scowled, holding it up to her. The roll of her eyes made him whine, pulling her further into his body. “No. Don’t want ‘em staring too much.” His large hands covered her ass, pouting slightly.
“Baby...” Y/N chuckled, looking up at him with her brows raised. She knew he had a tendency to be possessive, but it was something she thought of as no big deal. He was just protective of her, wanted to assert his dominance over anyone who thought about putting the moves on her. But this? She didn’t realize this would cause it to flare up. “We’re at a pool party, what’d you think I was going to wear?” She asked, pushing a few pieces of hair away from his face in an attempt to soothe him. “No one is looking at me.” Y/N pecked his lips a few times, “and if they are, they can clearly see you’re with me, no?” She wiggled her bum a bit in his hands. “Let’s go swim hmm?” She suggested, thinking that if she was in the water then she would be covered up in theory. “It’s way too hot for me to be wearing anything else.”
“Fine. At least in the water they can’t eye you up.” Harry glared at a group of younger guys looking her up with a near snarl on his face. No way in hell. He didn’t know where exactly this type of possessiveness came from. He usually was quite cool and collected, only having his moments sometimes. But today it was ten times as bad. He was truly unsure as to why besides the fact that she looked fucking incredible. He walked with her to the pool and laughed when she decided to jump in without him, Harry following shortly after. This was someone’s fancy house party and they had a sick pool. One with a water fountain and one of those pool bars and shit. But Harry was more focused on getting to a place where he could be with her alone. Before they’d made it to the pool, she had her cover up on and talked to people, Harry’s arm around her shoulder. They’d met up here after a long day of classes and hadn’t seen each other all day.
Y/N pushed her hair back as she came up from underwater, adjusting her bikini top so that nothing was falling out before she swam over to Harry and took his hands. “Come deeper.” She mumbled, pulling him further into the deeper end of the pool where it was less crowded. She’d missed Harry today and though they were at a party, she felt like she could take a few minutes to spend some time with her man. They both worked really hard and whenever they had spare moments they always found ways to make them count.
Once they were in too deep she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, tangling her hands in his hair to get it wet. Harry looked incredible like this, granted he always did. Y/N couldn’t help but think that part of it was because he was looking at her like she was the last meal on earth. She swore he hadn’t taken his eyes off of her since they got here.
“Look so good today. Always look phenomenal but... just have a glow.” Harry commented, feeling a sense of serene come over him while she had pet over his hair and got it wet. Harry moves them to a little shelf in the pool wall, perfect for him to sit on while she clung to him. “Been missin’ you all day, bunny. Wanted to kiss you first thing but, everyone else tries to steal your attention away.” He pouted. It was a needy day, which was pretty rare considering his natal chart, but it happened. Especially because he felt so stable with her. Never had he had an easier relationship. She made everything feel at ease. He really did love this girl. “Want to be selfish with you for a little bit. Can I have my kiss hello before someone comes n’ interrupts us?”
“Thank you, angel..” Y/N felt herself grinning wider and wider. She loved when Harry got like this. She loved seeing him get all soft and sweet and needy for her attention. Y/N knew most of the time I was her bugging him for his attention, but this was a welcomed change. “Mhm...“ She hummed, leaning in to press a sweet and gentle kiss to his lips. It wasn’t long before that one gentle kiss turned into a slow and steamy one. Y/N expected it though, continuing to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. The slight scratch of his facial hair was something that was new, but she didn’t mind. It just reminded her that Harry was growing into this beautiful man that she loved. She pulled back hesitantly, giggling as he chased after her lips and nuzzled her face in his neck. “Missed you...” Y/N mumbled against his skin, “Didn’t mean for people to steal me away... forgive me?” She licked at the most sensitive spot.
“S’okay. You’re just so desirable. Everyone wants to be around you. Don’t blame ‘em. But you’re mine.” Harry felt even more safe with the cover of the water to hold her ass, keep her close to him. The kisses on his neck had him sigh to himself. She loved to kiss and lick at his neck a lot, thing between them both, something he loved too. He was incredibly sensitive there and he felt good whenever she decided to treat him to some affection there. “Sometimes I don’t like Sharing you with everyone. They know you’re mine but still look at you like you’re available n’ if I was a bit more aggressive I’d probably call ‘em out on it. But I’d rather sit and get kisses from you than get in a fight.” He sighed, leaning his head a bit to the side. “You have a good day otherwise?”
“Yeah?” Y/N smirked to herself, he’d rather get kisses from her than get in a fight. “You’re such a good boy, hmm.” She teased, nipping at his skin just a little bit. “I am yours, don’t have to worry so much. Know I’m only ever going to want you, yeah?” That much was true. She hadn’t even looked at anyone else the way she looked at him. He was everything she could ever want or need from a man and it seemed that he felt the same about her. They’d been together for a few years and yet they hadn’t really left that honeymoon phase. “My day was alright... same old stuff. ‘S better now though.” She hummed, clearly her mind was somewhere else. There was just something about Harry being so possessive and needy that made her feel desired... wanted... Honestly, that’s all a woman really needed to get turned on.
“Good.” Harry took her in and could read her face. It was obvious, because he knew her. She was aroused. Horny. Whatever you chose to call it, she was wanting touches and biting her lip, looking at him with a little bit of a lost look. It was then he decided to swim them over to the waterfall area, letting themselves get wet as they moved through it. Thankfully it was empty, a small area behind it went deeper and he felt the mischief light up in his eyes.
“You’re shit at hiding when you’re horny.” He chuckled, pressing her against the wall of the faux cave. “Completely shit. You’ve got the drunk eyes and you keep stroking me.” It was making him smug as hell but he knew she wouldn’t really care. “What’s got you all turned on then?” He ran a hand under the water to grip her waist and tug her closer to him, adjusting their stance. “I’d like to know what’s goin’ on in my girls head.”
“Who said I was trying to hide it?” Y/N said as a matter of factly, looking up at him with those ‘fuck me’ eyes that she knew she was horrible at concealing. Wasn’t that the point though? Wasn’t the point for him to know whenever she needed him? He always took good care of it, she never had to touch herself. He was always there to help. She wished she could just strip them both naked in this pool, wished he would make a mess of her and make her feel breathless for the rest of the party. Y/N wasn’t opposed to doing things in public, they’d done it many times before. It was a different kind of rush. One she couldn’t explain. “Like when you get all protective of me..” Y/N told him, “like when you’re needy for me... makes me want to climb you like a tree.” She couldn’t be any closer to him at this point, that familiar throb appearing between her thighs. “‘s fucking hot.”
“Oh? Didn’t know you were so hard for me when I got possessive over you.” Harry smirked. It probably was because it was rare that he got so openly needy or annoyed at the attention she got because he wanted all of it. “M’glad you think it’s hot.” He found himself at her neck, returning the favor of kissing her neck. “But I can’t leave you all horny n’ not take care of you. What kind of boyfriend would I be?” He cooed.
“A bad one...” Y/N hummed in response, letting out a happy sigh as he kissed at her neck. “but you’re the best...” She told him, leaning into him as his hands began to move.
His fingers wandered south, finding the bit of swimsuit covering her cunt, smirking when he could hear her let out a shaky gasp. The water from the waterfall and the music and commotion from outside the party was loud enough that he wasn’t worried as long as they kept it down a decent amount. “Mm. That’s my girl, s’what I want. Do you want to cum?” He questioned, nipping a bit harshly at the joint of her jaw and neck.
“Yes. I want to cum. Please.” She pleaded in a whiny tone. “So bad, please... can I?” Y/N huffed, gripping a little tighter at his hair and feeling another shaky breath escaping her. She wanted relief. She knew he would give it to her, but how? Her free hand rested against his shoulder, that little bit of height difference making her quiver. There was just something about him looking down at her, all wet and hungry for her. His fingers tucked so perfectly between her folds. Even the slightest shift had her wanting to whimper. They were in public though, she needed to be quieter.
“Course you can, baby. M’not gonna let you suffer like this.” Harry murmured, pressing his fingers against her to rub a bit. Get her warmed up. To be honest, public shit got them both off. It did, and it was hot. He had taken her in the car, fingered her in a taxi (making sure to tip well), in many club or pub restrooms, as well as various other places. It was the rush.
“Gonna let me make you cum in the pool? In front of all these people? Such a naughty little thing.” Harry chuckled under his breath. “Love when you get all dirty for me. Can’t even wait till we get home, jus’ wanna cum all over my fingers.” He rubbed over her clit a bit harder, licking over her jaw.
A squeak of pleasure came from her, her hips jolting forward to get more but he knew just what to do. Slow and steady, perfectly pressured movements against her most clit. It was perfect, but she became ravenous once she had a taste. “Thank you, daddy.” She breathed out, her hips starting to move in sync with his fingers. “Yes!” She squeaked out once again, giggling knowingly when he said he loved when she got all dirty. He had given her the nickname bunny for that reason. Y/N fucked like one. Hard and fast and needy. It was good for the both of them, he liked to tame and she liked to be tamed. “Wanna cum all over your fingers daddy, want to make a mess for you, like a good girl.” Y/N told him, biting down on her lip to hold back a moan. She was looking up at him, keeping eye contact as he moved his fingers and felt his cock begin to harden against her stomach.
“Daddy...” She whined, brushing her front up against him just enough. Y/N felt overwhelmed with need, his fingers felt so good. She looked up at him and opened her mouth, sticking out her tongue just enough. He knew what it meant.
“Oh? My dirty lil’slut.” Harry grinned before he leaned over, spitting into her mouth. They didn’t do it every time, but it was an immediate cock tease when she wanted it. He loved her so much, especially because of how damn compatible they were. “Wanting me to spit into your pretty mouth n’ finger your cunt when all these people are around. Getting all wet because m’needy?” He let out a chuckle. “Course. You’re just my dirty girl. I love it so much.” He gripped her chin, opening her mouth again to see her eager tongue before he spit into her mouth again. She clenched and he could feel how hot it got her, pressing one finger in. A harsh whine came from her mouth, eyes closing, which had his attention. “Shhhh. Do you want them all to hear how much of a slut you are for me?” He asked, a bit condescending— he knew it made her wet— waiting for her to respond.
“No, daddy, I’ll be good.” Y/N whimpered quietly, feeling her cunt pulse at Harry’s words and actions. He always got her this riled up, it was never just a little bit. No, they were very much all or nothing but that made things extremely fun. “Please— don’t stop.” She whimpered out thrusting her hips forward. Y/N loved whenever he spat in her mouth. She felt like it was an unspoken dominance thing and it never failed to have her sopping wet. Of course they were in the water, but there was a clear difference between the water and her slick. Harry’s fingers moved so well, she knew she couldn’t have gotten any more soaked than she was. Another moan threatened to escape her but her own hand flew up to cover her mouth, biting down on the skin in an attempt to muffle the noise. She kept eye contact with Harry, feeling her knees growing weaker with every brush against that sweet sweet spot.
“Mmm.. I don’t know.” Harry cooed lowly. “I think you do get off on it. I think it makes you wet to think about everyone knowin’ how dirty you are.” He grinned, feeling her clench around his fingers again. Oh, yes. She absolutely did. They’d been together long enough for him to know exactly what she liked. “C’mon.” He breathed against her mouth as he fucked his fingers into her. “Admit it. Tell me how much you want them to know how dirty you are.” He was taunting her for sure but she seemed to like it, her soft little whine and whimper against his mouth as her hips bucked into his hand. When she hesitated, Harry let out a tut and shook his head, sliding another finger into her. “M’not asking again, baby. Tell me.”
Her hand moved from her mouth to grip at his bicep for stability. Y/N whimpered against his lips, feeling the orgasm building within her stomach. Harry was doing it on purpose, he loved the power he held over her, knew that he had her in the palm of his hands all desperate for relief. Y/N was too scared to speak, she knew she couldn’t keep quiet for much longer especially with how perfectly his fingers were moving inside of her. She looked up at him blankly, letting out a pathetic closed mouth whine.
“Yes, daddy! I do want them to know! I want them to know I’m a dirty slut for you!” She gasped at the feeling of now three fingers inside of her. “Make me feel so good, want everyone to know! Want everyone to know because they can’t have you! You’re mine.” Y/N was damn near tears at this point, bouncing in sync with his movements, begging to cum. “I’m so close daddy, please?”
“That’s my girl.” Harry grinned smugly. Harry loved making her admit those things, loved having her give in to him. A kink, maybe. Whatever that would be. “Cum for me. Let go.” He nipped are her skin, thrusting his fingers harder into her cunt and felt as she finally let go. His hand coming underneath her ass, holding her up as her body trembled and she let out the prettiest whine. There was nothing prettier than watching his girl cum. Nothing. “That’s it baby.” He continued thrusting his fingers in, curling them a bit to make her shudder. Keeping the orgasms going was the best thing ever, feeling her lose it on him.
Y/N felt like she couldn’t see straight, had proper stars in her eyes. Nothing could ever explain the true feeling of bliss that came after a release so sweet. She was panting, out of breath, trembling under his touch. Her eyes slowly closed as she attempted to catch her breath, fully leaning on him for stability. It was silent for a few moments, only the sounds of her heavy breathing, the water falling down, and the sound of the music. Y/N couldn’t have imagined it to have gone any better. She pressed soft kisses to his chest, listening to his heartbeat and feeling herself relax.
“That was so good...” She mumbled against his skin, “so fucking good.” She let out a chuckle and moved her hands up to cup his cheeks, pressing a sweet and loving kiss to his lips.
“Mm. I love you, sweetheart.” Harry murmured, pulling his fingers from her and gently adjusting the bathing suit bottoms so she was covered again. There wouldn’t be much clean up thanks to the water. “Now.. how about we go off and grab some drinks? Yeah? Can sit in my lap while we dry off by the bonfire.” He suggested, brushing a bit of the wet hair from her face away.
God, did he love her. Who knew having a bit of possessiveness would get them this far?
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A/N: This was very fun to write! we did get some requests to write some filthier stuff so consider this the beginning 😅and again, congrats to cass!! - n + d
let us know what you think!
masterlist
#writing#majorharry20k#harry styles smut#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles#harry writing#harry styles blurb
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Lost in Translation: Choujin X chapter 1
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Fun fact, I was planning to do fan translations for Choujin X with a scan group until it could get a simulpub release, though I didn’t expect it to get one from the very first chapter lol. I’m happy though since it means everyone can read it right away and it doesn’t mess up my schedule.
So instead I’ll be making comparison notes between the EN and JP text to supplement the official translation. I’m not doing this because the official TL is bad (I actually think it’s pretty solid and I hope it will maintain this quality) but because it’s inevitable for something to be lost in translation, and it’s nice to have that additional context for theory crafting and whatnot.
If you want to read it on Twitter instead, the original thread is here, but this is the proofread and way more detailed version 😄
This translation isn’t wrong, but there’s an emphasis on それ (which is TLed as ‘it’) that connotes a stronger, “other, that thing” feeling that isn’t present here. The general idea behind this sentence is: That [becoming a Choujin] resembles more of a disease [than a transformation].
Ely talks like a tomboy, she uses rougher speech patterns and the pronoun オラ (ora), a derivative of the masculine 'ore'. But it's a bit old-fashioned (eg. すまなんだ) which makes sense considering her upbringing with her grandfather on a farm. Hence her country bumpkin speech pattern in English.
Not sure if I should use Ellie or Ely? Ellie makes more sense based on the kana, but Ishida explicitly called her Ely so I might stick with Ely for now... (also istg that blond guy with the huge chin is a reference, I've seen him somewhere)
Tokio, I know your teacher is annoying, but it's rude to call her that lol. This is basically the oppai equivalent of paisen (senpai backwards, it’s slangier). Similar thing actually happened with Ely describing her dream hubby as Goldilocks instead of blond; ‘kinpatsu’ (blond hair) was inverted to become ‘patsukin’, hence the translation as Goldilocks.
Kurohara Tokio (黒原トキオ) and Higashi Azuma (東アヅマ). Kurohara is a common surname, means 'black fields'. Tokio is in katakana, so it’s hard to say what kanji it could be. 'Toki' could be 時 (time) or 外喜 (outside + delight). The 'o' can be the common male name suffix 男 (boy).
But when I think of Tokio, I think of TK's song called 'tokio'. You can read the translated lyrics here. If these lyrics end up being relevant to Tokio's character development I will eat my shoe lol.
Higashi means 'east'. Azuma (which can also be romanized as Aduma, it’s a softer ‘zu’ sound which is why Tokio called Azuma ‘Aju’ earlier in the chapter before correcting himself) is an archaic form of ‘east’. So...this guy is literally East East. The Choujin X equivalent of Moon Moon 😂
Someone also informed me that Higashi Azuma is a station in Tokyo, though the kana are slightly different (アヅマ/あづま vs. あずま). They effectively sound the same though nowadays, if I have to be honest. It’s like comparing the difference between 애 and 에 in Korean.
Tbh this is minor, but worth mentioning just cause it changes the meaning a bit. Tokio is saying something more like, “Why are we even talking about this [the roly-polies] again?”
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I think I heard people talking about how the official TL doesn’t match the original text, but personally I really like how this was translated! Sis is using the expression 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」, which literally means “boiling the dirt under someone’s fingernails and drinking it”. By taking the dirt/grime under the fingernails of someone that you admire, and boiling it and drinking it like a tea, you can become more like them.
But because idioms don’t tend to directly translate well between languages, translators often have to adapt it so that the meaning still remains the same. In English the closest idiom we have to this is “rubbing off on someone.” The “holding hands” bit was added to replace the physical aspect of “taking the dirt from someone’s fingernails” and also contribute to Sis’s sassy and very informal way of speaking.
So Sis is saying in JP (ignoring her personal speech style for now):
You should take the dirt from under [Azuma's] fingernails and boil it so you can be more like him.
And now in ENG it becomes:
You guys should hold hands or something, then maybe he’ll rub off on you.
It now sounds natural in English, still carries the same meaning as the original text, and also suits the character’s speech pattern.
Moving on, in that same panel the literal TL of Tokio’s dialogue is, “Policeman Azuma got dispatched again today,” emphasizing Azuma’s heroic deeds along with his family connections to the police. Another thing I want to note is that this is the second time Azuma has been called 偉い (erai) so far - noble, and now great guy. I’ll just dump the general English definition of 偉い from Jisho here so you get the general idea:
Great; excellent; admirable; remarkable; distinguished; important; celebrated; famous; eminent
But you can tell from how people describe Azuma as 偉い that others look up to him, think he’s a great person and Mr. Perfect. Always being placed on a pedestal by others. (What are the odds this will affect his mentality after the Choujin serum?)
The meaning is still pretty much the same, but I’ll offer a slightly different perspective. Sis mentions that if she were Tokio, she’d burst from the [Azuma] complex. (Clearly Tokio and Azuma's relationship is gonna crack at some point)
Tokio mentions an idiom about hawks (taka) before recalling his childhood memory about vultures. Vultures are called 'hagewashi', but in the chapter it mentions they can also be called 'hagetaka' (buzzard/condor, literally bald hawk).
The kids call him names like "Hagetaka Tokio" and "Hageo". But Hagetaka Tokio only really works in JP cause Hagetaka kinda mimics his last name (Buzzard Tokio doesn't give the same vibe). Same with Hageo. Hage-o = Bald-o = Baldy.
I also think Buzzard was chosen over another name for a vulture like Condor because Buzzard can pass off as an insult.
I would have translated this as, “I wanted to be a lion too...” but this is just personal preference.
A continuation of the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression Sis used earlier. Without the adapted idiom the exchange goes something like this:
Tokio: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?
Azuma: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.
Tokio: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.
Azuma: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.
But since the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression was modified to make it sound natural in English, it means this conversation has to be modified too.
JP: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?
EN: My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you. What do you think?
The “dirt from under your nails” part got adapted to “holding hands”, hence how the 1st line from Tokio becomes, “My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you.” “Can I have some?” makes no sense now in this context now, so it was changed to “What do you think?” as a question to Azuma to keep the similar conversation flow going.
JP: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.
EN: Huh? What’re you talking about? No thanks.
Azuma’s next line is similar enough to the JP text except for the removal of “scary”. I think the reason it was most likely removed is because leaving it as it is could be constituted as homophobic (2 boys holding hands, absolutely nothing scary about it as bible thumpers would like people to believe).
JP: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.
EN: She said to hold hands so you’ll rub off on me.
Tokio’s response to that is explaining what he meant by his proposal. In the original text he lays out the latter half of the idiom (he doesn’t even realize it’s an expression, poor boy), and in English he does something similar by going into why his sister said they should hold hands (so Azuma can rub off on Tokio).
JP: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.
EN: C’mon. That’s not how things work.
Azuma’s then rebuts Tokio’s proposal as ridiculous. In the original text he drops a typical straight man response (don’t do *insert whatever ridiculous thing the idiot suggested*). But since Tokio’s proposal in English isn’t as preposterous, his rebuttal is toned down in response by telling him not to take it literally.
Ultimately, even though a lot of this dialogue was changed, I still think it was successful in maintaining the original’s intent. Tokio takes his sister’s sarcastic suggestion literally and brings it up to Azuma, who dismisses it as silly. It would be nice if we could keep the expression as it was in Japanese, but in instances like this where it’s played off of in multiple lines, that’s easier said than done.
軟体 isn’t an actual word, it’s made up of the kanji soft + body. So kinda like Elastigirl, but Flexi was chosen instead. It doesn’t sound 100% right, but I don’t think I could come up with anything better.
Replacing the しい in 楽しい with the C plus that elongated pronunciation makes Johnny sound even more like a stereotypical Yankee, which is why he sounds like that in English 😂
Random but I found it interesting how Azuma called Johnny a youkai (妖怪) instead of something like bakemono (化け物) or obake (お化け) since they’re shapeshifting monsters.
Tokio is worried that if he doesn't do something right now, he's going to lose his friendship with Azuma. The sentence is fine as it is though.
Azuma’s line can also be worded as, "No hard feelings, okay?"
Bestial = 獣化 (juuka) = beast+change = beast transformation
That’s it from me, if you have questions about the TL feel free to send an ask or reply to this post, I promise I’ll check my inbox more often this time 😂
#Choujin X#Translations#fyi i also went into the holding hands TL#tl;dr i don't think it's bad and suits it well#but that's just my opinion
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Hello, I just saw that you opened your request. I'm the one who ended up writing a whole prompt! Imagine this for each member from La Squadra: they had an one-night stand with a random woman, she accidentally got pregnant and decided to have the baby without telling them. After a while, the woman got ill and passed away, but not without before sending her child with their father (let's imagine she has the direction of their hideout even if it's ooc, or she knew where they hang out). So, one day someone knocks the door and introduces themselves as the kid of one of the members/if it's too young, someone left them on the door with a explainatory note... How do you think each member would react by discovering that they have a child and they're supposed to take care of them from now? You can make each kid with different ages if you want, it would be funny to see Prosciutto or Ghiaccio dealing with a rebellious teenage son or Risotto trying to take care of a toddler, but I guess not all of them would want to keep their children. Sorry if it's a lot, haha.
La Squadra did a Diavolo
La Squadra x Reader, Platonic/Familial, SFW
A/N: your idea about mixing up the ages got me thinking, and I ended up using randomisers for the children’s ages (though I did consciously change some of them) and genders. It added a fun bit of chance to this prompt.
Formaggio, with an 8 year old daughter
The whole thing feels surreal to him. There's a little girl on his doorstep calling herself his daughter and by all evidence, it's true. He doesn't really know how to feel about it at first. On one hand it's kind of cool he had a kid all this time and you're clearly a lovely girl, but on the other hand, what the fuck? Still, not being the practical sort, his sense of sentiment far outweighs any question of how he's actually going to look after a child, so without much deliberation, Formaggio agrees to let you stay.
Formaggio isn't too experienced with kids but he doesn't exactly dislike them either, so he figures he knows what to do. At your age you can at least do the basics of looking after yourself, so he isn't too worried. The only problem is that if you ask him to cook for you or help clean your room, his eyes go very wide. He never quite picked up those skills himself, he's afraid, so you're going to have to ask someone else for that one.
The good news is that Formaggio is a very easy-going, fun sort of dad, who is a natural at playing with you and lets you do what you want when he can't be around. He quickly gets used to showing affection to you, letting you cuddle up to him on the sofa in front of the squad and even carrying you around once in a while. He gives amazing piggy back rides.
The bad news (or more good news, depending on how you are) is that you have to leave school. Risotto says that at your age you can't be trusted not to tell anyone your new family is a bunch of assassins, and taking you to and from school each day would be too much of a hassle. Nonetheless, you're welcome to continue your education from home, though Formaggio will hardly push you if you don't keep up with it. Melone is much better on that front.
Despite the risk, Formaggio can't bring himself to force you to lose all your friends, so he lets you keep meeting with them. Furthermore, he knows a few guys in other squads who have kids about your age, so he's happy to introduce you to them if you want a friend you can be more honest about your home life with. Formaggio might not have a clue what he's doing, but he's doing pretty good.
Illuso, with a 3 year old daughter
He's been fearing this day would come for years. A small child knocking on the door of the hideout, holding a note in hand addressed to him, just as a shady looking car drives away. Yeah, Illuso remembers your mother pretty well and he remembers the distinct lack of precautions they took during their encounter. Now, the consequences of his actions are here at his house, and Risotto is currently standing in the doorway of the office looking ready to give him the biggest dressing-down of his life.
After his tongue-lashing, Illuso frantically agrees to take responsibility for what he's done and see to it that you're well cared for, and begins the task of looking for relatives who might take you. Unfortunately, none of your mother's family can be traced, and Illuso can't exactly call up his own right now. Leaving you on the door of an orphanage isn't an option because you're old enough to say where you've come from, so it looks like for the time being, Illuso is stuck with you.
Initially, Illuso is not thrilled. He pawns you off on Melone, Sorbet and Gelato whenever possible and tries to live his life as before. But increasingly, he can't help finding himself visiting your room whenever he's stressed or has had a bad mission. There's something so pure about gently stroking your hair as you sleep. He can't help but feel... attachment, as he rubs his thumb against your tiny palm.
From then on, Illuso starts to make a point of spending more time with you. You're at the age where you just want to touch and explore everything you're given, so letting you make a mess with his makeup and beauty creams is an easy way for him to observe and learn about you. He even starts doing the more practical things like washing and feeding you every so often.
Eventually, Illuso becomes an actual father to you. He loves you as a father should and puts his time into making you happy. Illuso is glad he didn't give you away, as you've opened his eyes to so many things. For the first time in many years, he feels human. He feels redeemable.
Prosciutto, with a 13 year old son
As you tell him your story Prosciutto racks his brains. He didn't have many one-night-stands in his youth but the ones he did have were so far back he barely remembers them, so your mother's name doesn't immediately ring any bells. If it weren't for the striking resemblance between you, Prosciutto probably would have thrown you out for a liar there and then. But as you are, it's clear you're being honest. He lets you in.
After a short interrogation by Risotto to make certain you aren't acting on behalf of some third party looking to infiltrate the squad, it's agreed you can stay, so long as you keep quiet about it to your friends. At your age you can largely look after yourself and all you really needed was a roof over your head, so there's no problem with you moving into the spare room as long as you stay out of the others' way.
Education isn't much of an issue either, since you're likely well settled in your current school and can get yourself there and back. Just whatever you do, don't go telling anyone you live with a bunch of gangsters now. Prosciutto means it, you could seriously put yourself in danger if you do that.
Much to your father's ire, you end up befriending several members of the squad, especially the younger ones like Melone, Ghiaccio and Pesci who have some generational overlap with how you were raised. Prosciutto would rather you didn't do this but at the end of the day, he can't really stop you. God forbid you call him an old boomer again.
Your relationship is overall positive- Prosciutto makes a point of taking you on outings when he has the time, and giving you parental advice when you need it. However that doesn't stop you from making fun of his stuffy, old habits, and playing the moral high ground in regards to his work.
On that note, the problem comes when you develop an interest in the squad's work. It's only inevitable, given how pervasive the topic is in conversations around the house, and the fact you're more than old enough to know what a gang is, but the day you first ask him about it is no less welcome. What's scary is that you're about the same age as Passione's youngest recruits and, well, if you ended up joining them because of him, Prosciutto might never forgive himself.
Pesci, with a 6 month old son
He knew it had been a mistake. Not long after his 18th birthday he'd given in to the squad's pestering about his virginity and finally gotten rid of it just to shut them up. Now he's ridden with guilt. Not only did the poor woman get pregnant because of him but now she's died. He can't help but wonder, the letter attached to the basket you came in was very vague after all, was your mother's death at all related to your birth? If so, Pesci doesn't know how he'll forgive himself.
Pesci immediately panics and stumbles into his Fra's bedroom crying louder than you are. Prosciutto remains calm, advising him to first make sure this actually is his baby through Melone, in case this is somebody trying to trick him, and to then think through his options rationally. As far as Prosciutto sees it, he has two. He can either see to it that you're taken in by a caring, reliable individual, or he can keep you for himself. Surprisingly, Prosciutto's actually okay with the second one, since in his eyes duty to one's family is absolute.
Pesci stammers a bit and asks if he can wait a few days to make his mind up, which Prosciutto permits. But it isn't long at all until Pesci is far too attached to you to ever let you go, and it becomes clear you'll be staying for the long-run. Risotto is hardly happy about this but agrees with Prosciutto's sentiment of family, so he doesn't try to insist you be sent away.
Pesci is an incredibly loving father. He'll dash from the other side of the house at a moment's notice if he hears you crying. That said, being so young himself it's inevitable he requires some help with raising you. Sorbet and Gelato chip in quite regularly, as does Melone when Pesci is desperate enough to fall on using him. Prosciutto helps out too, being your uncle, and occasionally you've even had Risotto answer your cries.
La Squadra can only hope their situation improves somehow in the coming years, since Pesci has no idea how he's going to deal with an older child in a house full of assassins. At very least, being so young it's a long time before he has to worry about things like school. For now, what's important is that you are loved very dearly. Pesci has discovered a new protective streak in himself, something he discovers every time he looks in your eyes.
Melone, with a 4 year old son
When you arrived you were frightened and confused. You struggled to babble out the story you were told to tell as the strange men crowded around you in the front room of the house. Then, a bizarre looking man with purple hair pushed to the front of the crowd, insisting he knew what to do in a situation like this. He carried you somewhere quiet, and gently asked you to repeat your story again. You told him you were looking for your father, Melone.
Melone is elated. He's always wanted a child, but getting into a relationship stable enough to produce one has never been an option with the life he lives. Now the happy accident he never new he had has come home to him! Carrying you back to the living room, Melone introduces you as his son and announces to the team that he will be keeping you.
This is met with some protest. Not only are you of the age where you'll need constant supervision, but quite frankly, nobody trusts Melone to take care of a kid. Melone refutes their accusations harshly, making it absolutely clear he will not be giving you up without a fight. Finally, Risotto surrenders, on the terms that if he catches any signs of abuse or neglect, he will see to it personally that you are re-homed elsewhere.
Melone's parenting style is relatively laid-back. He believes parents should be a 'safe base' from which children should explore the world, coming back when they need advice but ultimately following their own whims within reason. He encourages you to play as you wish and does not stop you from bonding with the rest of the squad. Finding supervision for you while he's on missions proves to be a non-issue, since his stand's massive range means he can often do most of a mission's work at home.
When the time comes to educate you, Melone decides against the risks of enrolling you in school. He is an amazing teacher and can teach you everything you'd need in half the hours of a typical curriculum. Beyond the essentials of literacy and simple maths, Melone largely encourages you to follow you own interests rather than stick to some boring, arbitrary list of useless things a normal curriculum for some reason expects you to learn.
That said, he knows the importance of making friends, so he frequently takes you out to meet with neighbourhood children. All-in-all, the squad is surprised at his sensible parenting choices, and the happy child you are turning out to be.
Ghiaccio, with a 2 year old son
It's almost comedic the lengths Ghiaccio goes to to avoid the problem. As the others crowd around you in Melone's lap, Ghiaccio cowers in the corner insisting that you absolutely cannot be his. It's very obvious you are, of course. You look almost exactly like him, and have a cry to match. You've even inherited the same, mild visual impairments that earned him his glasses. There's no getting away from the truth.
After accepting the truth, Ghiaccio takes you away to his room to 'clear his head' before deciding where to send you in the morning, but when morning comes, that deliberation time quickly turns into a few more days, then a month, then never. It's clear Ghiaccio's become attached to you, and he cannot bring himself to give you away.
Unfortunately, he doesn't have the foggiest clue in hell how to look after a toddler. He has a hard enough time understanding what it is adults want from him, let alone small children. There are times he even considers giving you away again, but they never last long enough for him to go through with it. Bit by bit, he slowly learns how to be a father.
Melone is his primary co-parent. As cautious as Ghiaccio is about letting him around his baby, it soon becomes clear Melone can understand your needs far better than he can. The pair have many sessions together teaching Ghiaccio how to do things like wash you or cook your food. It's honestly a massive help, and probably the main reason Ghiaccio doesn't completely melt down within a month of having you.
These issues aside, Ghiaccio is a person who is very genuine in his affections. He would break the shins of anyone who even looked at you threateningly, and every fibre of his being wants you to be happy. He even learns to control his temper, as he knows from experience just how damaging an angry parent can be for a child. He's going to give you a better childhood than what his parents gave him, and that's a promise.
Risotto, with a 6 year old daughter
Well, perhaps this ought to have been expected. In his early 20s Risotto was really far less careful than he ought to be in regards to his encounters, so he probably had this coming. You are at a difficult age, old enough to understand your father is a criminal but young enough to still need his care. If he takes you in, there will be many challenges. And yet he cannot bring himself to turn you away. Looking at you he feels... obligation.
In the early days he tries his best to shelter you. He keeps you in his room and tells the others not to talk to you. But that's no way for you to live, and he knows it. Eventually, he swallows his fears and lets you explore your new home, even taking you out to the park a few minutes each day so you can run around. He talks to Melone about continuing your education, and asks Sorbet and Gelato if they'd let the spare room next to them be turned into a bedroom for you. He's going to make sure he raises you right.
Risotto may be quiet and introverted, but do not mistake that for emotionally distant. He does not underestimate his vital role in your emotional well-being, and is quick to pick up on when you are feeling sad or lonely. He makes sure to pick you up in his arms and ask what's wrong when that happens.
Though he didn't know her well, he mourns your mother with you, and is very watchful for the signs of attachment issues that may result from losing a parent at such a tender age. Being all you have left, Risotto gains a new instinct of self-preservation. For the first time in years, his life has meaning.
In terms of bonding, he prefers calm activities that allow him to passively observe your interests, such as watching movies or reading you books. When he's working in his office and doesn't need his camera on, he's happy for you to sit in his lap as long as you're quiet. He would ask if you don't read what's on his screen, though, at least not while you're so young. He'll give you a better explanation of what he's doing some day, but not just yet.
Sorbet and Gelato, with a 12 year old daughter
First of all, let's make clear that regardless of which one is biologically your father, they both feel equal responsibility for you. No doubt they were both present for your conception anyway, so as far as they're concerned, if one of them has a secret kid from a hookup, they both have a secret kid from a hookup.
Having always wanted children, they are happy when you appear on the doorstep and introduce yourself as their daughter. Though they don't say it out loud to avoid upsetting you, they kind of wish your mum had kicked it sooner so they could have raised you from a younger age, but they're more than happy to make do with what they've got. There's no hesitation in welcoming you to live with them permanently, and anyone who has a problem with this isn't brave enough to say it.
Right from the get-go they are very permitting parents, awarding you a generous helping of their cash each week and having a rule list that pretty much starts and ends with "don't talk to the police." Despite your age they don't expect you to be independent, and are happy to cook for you and help you out with other things when you ask. It seems parenthood was made for them.
Despite all this, there is one problem in your relationship that is making things difficult. That of your fathers' work. You're 12 years old and you aren't stupid. You know they kill for a living and you know they enjoy it. When you stumble into the bathroom at 1am to find them covered in blood and laughing together, there's no making excuses. No matter how good they are with you, this is going to make you afraid of them.
Sorbet and Gelato are incredibly stringent in solving these early issues. After all these years they've finally got the family they wanted, and they aren't going to let it slip away from their own cruelty. They are honest with you about their occupation, since they want you to know you can trust them, and make absolutely clear it won't affect their care for you. You are welcome to ask questions and receive honest answers, but other than that Sorbet and Gelato will make a point of not accidentally causing you to witness something you shouldn't.
With them, you are welcome to continue your old life in terms of school and friends. They want to spend time with you, but they don't want to overtake your existence completely. When you are up for it, they are keen to take you on outings that interest you so you can spend time together as a family. They hope you know how happy you make them.
#la squadra#la squadra di esecuzione#la squadra x reader#formaggio#formaggio x reader#illuso#illuso x reader#prosciutto#prosciutto x reader#pesci#pesci x reader#melone#melone x reader#ghiaccio#ghiaccio x reader#risotto nero#risotto nero x reader#sorbet and gelato#sorbet and gelato x reader
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Get with me
spencer reid x reader
synopsis; in which you get two sets of news and a happy ending
warnings; mentions of cheating, pregnancy scares, smut, unprotected sex, breeding kink (im sorry lmao), praise
pt 2 of ysbuwybf
a/n; patting myself on the back for not bailing on fic requests lmaoo anyways yall were so outa pocket with ideas, all i wanna say is that i am respecting our sweet prince anderson and letting him down gently (i’m writing this before the fic so i could completely switch it up) see end notes for final thoughts :)
hope you enjoy!
*also pls don’t cheat its so icky and a horrible thing to do
***
If your suspicions were correct you were fucked. Part of you would be ecstatic no doubt about it. But if things were true then you were utterly surly fucked.
Your period was late.
Which meant either one; your birth control was acting up or two; you were pregnant.
However being pregnant wasn’t a bad thing, far from it. The bad thing was that there were two candidates in the running to be the father. Your boyfriend, Agent Anderson who was nothing but a sweetheart even though he was about as exciting as a wet paper bag.
Or Dr.Spencer Reid. Your best friend who you had also been sleeping with outside of your relationship. The best man you’d ever known who was also aching to become a father some day.
For a week you had been avoiding both of them in the office. Unfortunately for you there were no cases. While yes a lack of serial killing was always a plus it also meant you were stuck in the same building as them for give or take eight hours a day.
For days on end you stuck in your earbuds and kept your head down while doing paperwork trying to ignore both sets of eyes which would look over to you every once in a while.
Were you even pregnant, was the biggest question. So you had decided that it was time to get your shit together. At lunch on Monday you had made a quick doctors appointment and went on your way. The little old nurse had told you she would call you in a few days with results.
In that time you had gone over every possible scenario or possibility. Who would you tell first? How would you even bring it up? Would Anderson hate you for cheating? Would Spencer be upset that the baby isn’t his? It would be like another JJ situation for him.
The thoughts plagued your mind throughout the week and the more you thought about it the more you thought about who you would have preferred to be the father of your child. Which then led to the guilt of picking and the realization that you in fact would have to break up with Anderson.
If the child did end up being his you would have to make it work, however you knew it was time to come clean and apologize for going behind his back. He deserved to know the truth.
Deep in your thoughts you barley heard your phone ringing. It was now Friday and you weren’t expecting any other calls besides the one from your doctor. You looked around and made sure no one was paying attention before you clicked the green button.
“Hello?”
You heard the voice of the nurse on the line, she sounded almost sad, “Hello am I speaking with Y/n Y/l/n?”
“Yeah this is her,” you said dryly. Your nerves were eating at you.
“Oh sweetie I’m calling with the results of your test. It turns out that you are not pregnant at this time honey.”
You let out the breath you didn’t realize you held in. It felt as is a weight was lifted off your shoulders.
“Oh, um thank you for informing me,” you said looking down at your nails.
“Of course. If you have anymore questions you can call back at this number or come in and set up another appointment. Have a good rest of your day.”
With that the line cut off and you fell back into your chair. Your hand subtly moved onto your stomach. Huh. You didn’t think that would be as hard to hear.
“Y/n?” a voice called from behind you.
“Oh hey Andy. Whats up?” you said putting a smile on your face.
He combed a hand through his hair before he sat at the corner of your desk, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you and I think it’s best if I say it clearly and honestly.”
Your brows furrowed. Oh shit did he already know? You had to stay calm.
“Yeah go ahead.”
“I think we should break up. It’s not you, I think we’re just missing a spark. At first it was fun but I don’t think this is gonna work anymore.”
Pot meet kettle, you thought.
“Plus I think Charlotte from Cyber Crimes is into me so yeah,” he trailed off.
You bit your lip to try and hide the laugh you wanted to let out. This was an unseen turn of events. “Yeah I get it. But hey no hard feelings. Go for it with Lotte, she’s a total sweetheart.”
“Thanks Y/n/n,” he said leaning down to give you half hug then gingerly turned and walked away.
Behind you Spencer couldn’t help but listen to the whole interaction. Once he saw Anderson reach the elevator he got up and made his way over to your desk.
You looked up and saw the small smile on his face, “Is it party at Y/n’s desk today?” you asked causing him to giggle.
“I think the news I just heard calls for celebration in the best way we know don’t you think,” he said looking around the bullpen nodding his head towards the hallway which was home to the spacious supply closet.
You looked around and made sure no one was looking. Emily and JJ were gone in Garcia’s lair. Derek was gone visiting his mom and the dads of the BAU were in a meeting.
“Lead the way doctor,” you said standing getting up form your chair.
Once in the closet Spencer wasted no time in pressing his lips to yours. He sighed at the taste of your cherry chapstick. You put your hands on his face pulling him down but while you were savoring the taste of his lips your mind couldn’t help but go back.
You could have been a mom. Spencer felt your lips slow down instead of returning the passion and stepped away.
“What’s wrong?”
“There’s something I need to tell you,” you said looking up at him.
He tried to hide the look of worry on his features but you could see right through him as he nodded for you to continue.
“Well earlier this week I uh was supposed to start my period but I didn’t,”
“Y/n-” he tried to cut you off but you put your hand up for him to let you finish.
“I went to the doctors and got a test done. Before Anderson came over I got the call and I’m not. Which is good right? It saved everyone a world of hurt and drama. I don’t know I just thought you should know.”
“Did you wanna be?”
“What?”
“Pregnant,” he said gripping your hips and pulling you closer.
You felt your cheeks get hot at what he was insinuating, “Well- I- yeah. I mean yeah, yes.”
With that he brought his lips back down to yours. This time you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. One of his hands slid to the back of your skirt and pulled down the zipper. You let it slide down your legs and stepped out of it.
You sat on the table in the room, pushing off the bottles of cleaner. Spencer stepped into the space between your legs, his fingers reaching for your panties and tugging them down your legs.
“I can’t believe I get this tight little pussy all to myself now,” he said biting marks onto your neck. You mewled tilting your head to the side and pulling on his tie.
“Spencer please. I need you so bad,” you whined out.
He stepped away and hastily started on undoing his pants, “What do you want baby? Is it for me to fuck you? Or is that not enough? Do you need me to fill you up with my cum? Want me to put a baby in you?”
You moaned at his lewd words and quickly nodded your head. Your hand flew down to your pussy, you were practically dripping onto the table and he had barley touched you.
“Please doctor I need you so bad.”
Spencer quickly stepped into the space again and took both of your hands in one of his large ones, “I own this pussy. I always have, you don’t get to touch without my permission,” he gritted out.
With his free hand he tugged on his cock before aligning it with your leaking slit. The both of you sighed as he pushed in inch by inch. Your head feel back with your mouth open in a perfect O shape.
After a second of letting you adjust Spencer started with rough thrusts. You could feel your hair start sticking on your forehead from the heat of the room. Spencer’s lips were inches from yours, sharing the same breath.
“Fuck I’m gonna fill you up so good. Let everyone here know you’re mine.”
All you could do was nod and moan in approval. His grip on you was deadly but it was just adding onto the immense pleasure you were feeling. The way he was repeatedly hitting your gpot had your vision blurry with stars. You could also feel him pulsing inside you knowing he was close to his peak.
“You look so pretty like this sweetheart. So perfect around my cock.”
You wrapped your legs around his waist bringing him impossibly closer, “I want you to cum in me Spence. I need to feel it,” you mewled into his lips.
This motivated him to start drilling into you. At this point you were panting, aching to feel the sweet release. His hand dipped down to rub on your clit, he groaned at the slippery mess where you both met.
“Oh god Spence!”
A high pitched moan escaped your lips as he added on the extra pleasure. Soon enough you were squeeing around him, ready to milk him for all he was worth.
“That’s it baby. Keep doing that. I’m gonna stuff you with my cum y/n/n fuck,” he said drawing out the last syllable as he exploded inside you.
He stayed inside as you both caught your breathes, slowly thrusting trying to fill you to the brim.
He pulled out and looked for a roll of paper towels for you to clean up. Once that was done you helped each other tame your hair and outfits as you always did, with quiet and loving gazes.
“Do you think that one did the job?” you said with a smirk.
“Well statistically the pill contraceptive has a 7% failure rate so with my calculations there is a chance,” he said while smoothing down your hair.
“Thanks genius,” you said lightly punching his arm, “Lets get out of here. Together.”
“Together,” he said slinging an arm around your shoulders.
a/n; so guys what do we think. im not gonna lie i kinda hate it but i think it was a good ending for everyone. kinda feel bad anderson didn’t get the whole truth but the cheating is OVER! also what did we think of what pregnancy scare?? let me know lovies!!!
#Spencer Reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#Criminal Minds Fanfiction#criminal minds smut#criminal minds fic#mgg fanfiction#mgg x reader#mgg smut#matthew gray gubler fanfiction#matthew gray gubler smut#matthew gray gubler x reader#chellewrites
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Spook-tober Day 1 — Decorating
@maribat-october-rarepairs
So, technically, it’s October 2nd for almost two hour here, but it’s probably still the 1rst somewhere, right? Well, I don’t care anyway.
It’s my first time writing for an event (Maribat or otherwise) and I wanted to write both prompts for Spook-tober - Maribat Month and the Maribat Rare Pairs Month, but didn’t have time to start writing before 11pm.
This one's for Spook-tober, though it could also qualify as rarepair since it's a Stephinette (is that the correct shop name???), because Steph is my Queen (Cass too, but I wanted Steph today). Though they don't interact (yet) but I think I’ll write a follow up for other days' prompt, maybe (day 9 and 21, I’m looking at you,).
Anyway, let’s start.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You sure you got the right address, miss?” The cab driver asked her with a skeptic expression. It would have been alright if the man hadn’t asked the same thing in at least twenty different ways during the ride.
“Yes, thank you Monsieur. I’m exactly where I wanted to be,” Marinette answered with a tight smile, like the twenty previous times. Giving him the money she owed him, she got out of the car to stand in front of the gigantic gate of Wayne’s Manor. The place was kind of intimidating.
Still hearing the car behind her when she reached the intercom, she turned toward it. The driver was shamelessly looking at her, probably waiting for her to get refused access.
“Are you waiting for something, sir?” She asked, tilting her head slightly.
“You’re gonna need a ride back, don’t ya? I’m already here, might as well,” he smiled at her with condescending amusement. Marinette was tempted to tell him that she would prefer to go back to the city on foot than to get into his car again. But her parents raised her better than that, so she only smiled politely.
“There is no need, sir, I really don’t know how long I’m going to stay here.”
“Yeah, right,” the man huffed, still staring at her.
Deciding to just ignore him, Marinette turned to push on the intercom’s only button. It took a minute before an elegant and accented voice responded.
“Hello, how may I help you?”
“Ah, hello sir. I’m Marinette, Jason asked me to come?”
“Indeed, Master Jason warned me to expect you.”
When the gate opened, Marinette made a point to turn around to smile and wave goodbye at the cab driver. She would cherish his dumbstruck expression for a long time.
Her victory was short lived, though, when she saw how long the march from the gate to the house was going to be. Jason better be on the brink of death. Or the world, she wasn’t picky.
When she finally got there, an old gentleman she thought might be Alfred was waiting for her.
“Miss Dupain-Cheng, I’m Alfred, the family’s butler, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Alfred said with a kind smile and a nod.
“The pleasure is all mine, sir. And just Marinette is fine,” she told him kindly, walking into the house. “Jason is okay, right? He didn’t say why he wanted me here, and I have to admit that he got me worried.”
Jason had been determined to keep her as far away from his family as he could manage before, and the sudden change was really odd.
“I see,” Alfred said slowly, closing his eyes for a second. “Master Jason is alright, Miss Marinette, do not worry. He just… Well, why not let Master Jason explain the situation to you himself. If you would follow me.”
Marinette followed him for a couple minutes through a couple of corridors, before he opened the doors to… a battlefield.
She thought that, maybe, it was supposed to be a living room, but it was hard to say, under all those decorations. They were literally everywhere. Throwing on the couches, a couple of boxes were overturned in a corner, a couple of garlands of little cartoon ghosts hanging hazradly from the chandelier. It was a mess, but she could see that someone probably tried to… decorate? Maybe? It was a really bad job, though.
Jason and a man she assumed to be his brother were battling with a plastic pumpkin and a skeleton respectively, while two more men and a woman—probably also Jason’s siblings, she heard Bruce Wayne was kind of a serial adopter— were cheering on the sidelines and a brooding teenager was glaring at them. Everyone froze as soon as they realized that they weren’t alone anymore. Alfred only sighed, nodded at her before going back to where they came from.
“Hey! Pixie! Great, you’re here,” Jason exclaimed excitedly, letting go of the pumpkin he was shoving into his brother’s face and stauttered toward her.
“Jason, in the name of everything that’s holy, what the hell?” Marinette asked with a voice deceptively calm. She could see the woman and one of the men behind Jason wince at her tone. Good.
“Well, see, we wanna decorate the house for Halloween, now that it’s time—”
“Jason,” she interrupted incredulously. “We are in September!”
“Well, technically, it’s already October in Russia,” the man that had been fighting with Jason piped up.
“Yeah, what Timbers said,” Jason said with a serious nod while Marinette could only look at him in astonishment. “Anyway, Bruce said we can decorate all the room in the Manor like we wish if we can make this one presentable, without the help of Alfred. And I really want to make a cat theme for his bedroom, so I thought; hey, you know a designer…”
“I’m a fashion designer, Jason, not an interior designer!”
“Same difference, Pixie. You’re my only hope, all of them are hopeless in terms of good taste.”
Marinette pinched the bridge of her nose, ignoring the various protests from Jason’s sibling, before taking out her phone.
“So you proceeded to send me ‘Hey Pix,” she said, reading the message he sent her earlier with a bad imitation of his voice. “‘Need you at the manor asap, urgence lvl 3’ before ignoring me, making me think that the world was probably ending—”
“World ending is at least a lvl 5, Pix, come on,” Jason interrupted with an offended expression. She ignored him.
“—Forcing me to take a cab with a absolute jerk driver—”
“Why did you take a cab? You have a car!”
“Adrien took the car, he is visiting Chloé in New York. But that’s not the point. The point, Jason, is that all of that was because you needed me to help you decorate for a day that is literally in a month?”
“Hey, Halloween is a very important celebration,” Jason’s brother, the one that had been cheering the loudest, told her with a solemn expression.
“I’m French, I don’t care about Halloween,” she deadpanned.
“I’m sorry, what?” The one Jason had called Timbers, probably Tim Drake, looked pained at the very idea that someone could not be obsessed by Halloween.
“I mean, we used to make speciales and sales at the bakery, and I’ve been to a couple of costume parties, but we don’t really pay attention to Halloween until around the 25 of October.”
“That’s sacrilegious,” Jason said, and almost all the others agreed in a way or another.
“Maybe for you, Americans,” she told him with amusement. “But it doesn't change the fact that I’m not going to help you.”
What? Why?!” He exclaimed, his eyes widening.
“Because, one, I don’t have anything to gain from it,” she said, showing him one of her fingers before adding a second. “And two, do you know how long the walk between the cab and the door had been? And all of it just for decorations?”
“Aw, come on, Pix! Bruce is going to make Alfred judge, and I have projects for the cat theme!”
“There is nothing you can say that is going to make me change my—”
“Hey guys!” A cheerful voice suddenly interrupted her, the owner barging into the room like a whirlwind. The woman was slightly taller than her, with long blonde hair and blue eyes. She had a beautiful smile that brightened the room and Marinette could feel the hearts that were making their way in her eyes. The girl was cute. Uh oh. “You are decorating already?! Cool! Be right back, let me just grab my stuff!”
Then she was gone, and Marinette could only blink slowly, before turning back toward Jason.
“Alright, I’m in.”
“What? Why— Oh, no, no, no! You’re not going to crush on Steph—”
“Oh, her name is Steph? What a lovely name,” she mumbled, looking back in the direction she disappeared. “But if you don’t want my help, I can just ask for her number and let you fend for yourself with the decorations, you know.”
“Pixie!” Jason complained, making his sibling laugh or snicker at him.
~~~~~~~~~~
Fun fact: when Marinette says that France doesn't care about Halloween until around October 25th, I’m talking from personal experience. I don’t know if it’s the same in all of France, but I grew up in Paris’ region (It’s not Paris Paris, but it’s like, the places all around and we call it régions parisienne) and they don’t care about it. Where I live, the shops don’t start selling Halloween themed candy before, like a week (maybe two?? when they start early) before Halloween and the children rarely go trick or treating. (I lived in this house for ~five/six years, and I’ve never got a child knocking for candy on Halloween.)
Again, I’m not saying it was like that for everyone in France, maybe it was only my city, but I thought it funny to have this opposition between Marinette and the Batkids.
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