#this answer was supposed to be like

[moonspirit]

More Cadet!Aruani.. pretty please? Like, literally tell everything you got, I am willing to read an entire thread of it.

Ohhh anon~ I'm glad you enjoy my cadet!Aruani haha xD I don't do it often tbh, somehow.

But nope, not literally everthing I've got! Only bit by bit, so I can savour and ruminate on the thoughts and eke it out for future posts too xD

For now, maybe... some fluff between the two will do for now?

It's a slow day in the 104th training corps. No training since all superiors are away, no exams (also far away), no titans breaching walls and creating havoc. Everyone's off somewhere or very much in somewhere and being nosy about it, there's nothing to do, nowhere to see, and Annie's sure if she doesn't open her mouth and talk to another human-shaped being, she'll go insane.

Not that she has any energy for it.

But maybe... maybe if she can find him, all she'll have to do is listen.

It's doubtful, Armin is rather popular with the people and for all she knows, he could be making the girls flower crowns and reeling off obscure fact after obscure fact to anyone who listens with gusto. On a free day like this, maybe he's not even in town. Maybe he's been whisked off somewhere by his friends. Maybe he-

And then she stops in her tracks because there he is, sitting by the canal, a book in his lap (how typical, she wants to laugh), but all alone.

Maybe he'd rather not see her though and be bothered by her empty presence when he could be reading the book in peaceful solitude.

Somehow, even if she can't nearly overturn her desire to take his time for herself, the sudden doubt roots her to the spot and she can no more walk forward. Instead she just stares at the back of his head where the pale afternoon sun warms the locks of smooth gold hair with a desolate sensation of longing taking over her heart.

Who knew loneliness could cause feelings like this. Her father would be disappointed.

But maybe she creates a darkness, or maybe she creates a void, it's lost to her which, because Armin seems to think he should turn around at that very moment and look for some reason, only to end up blinking with surprise at the sight of her lurking around the corner like a homeless kitten with "take me home" written all over its face.

It's embarrassing really, but thank god he can't see her cheeks properly at this distance.

"Annie!" he calls, a great big smile spreading over his face.

Oh, stupid. Stupid of her to think he wouldn't want to share his time. Armin's an idiot, carelessly giving everyone his time! She's just another one.

"Hi." She says, stepping into the sun to sit next to him. The canal is like the dozen others just like it in this town, nothing remarkably large or impossible to fathom; if she transformed, she'd step right over it without so much as a glance down. She's also nimble and quick on her feet, qualities her father had made certain she was aware of if only to size up an enemy by comparison - even if she were to stumble sitting down by the edge of the canal, nobody in the military would expect her to fall.

So why then, does he reach a hand out as if to catch her if she falls?

And why can't she look away from the shape of his palm?

Armin's smile is, somehow, brighter than the sun on the back of her neck. "I thought you would've gone to the market with Mina and the rest. What are you doing here alone?"

"I could ask you the same," She retorts. "You're always surrounded. How come nobody needs you today?"

There's a flash of something like the edges of disappointment in his eyes, so quick and fleeting that Annie thinks she imagines it when it's gone.

"Well, you know, I'm glad to have the day to myself," He chuckles. "It's quiet and peaceful."

"Right, and then I intruded."

"No, no," He laughs, shaking his head. "I'm glad to see you, Annie."

Annie looks away, squinting at the flowing waters. The sunshine makes it glitter in a million different ways, dazzling her until all that's left in her vision is a soft, beautiful river of light, flowing to some unknown place. In the corner of her vision, she's acutely aware that the book on Armin's lap leaves its place for the stone ground - a sign that makes her nervous, really, because it means that all of his clever little attention is now on her.

"Pretty, isn't it?" He says softly, making her look at him.

At the shape of his face, framed by a soft molten gold that flutters with the wind; at the blue of his eyes, a shade she doesn't really know the word for as it penetrates deep into her own; at the tip of his nose, always dusted an endearing pink; at the ridge of his brows, a tad stronger whenever the bangs move away in the breeze; at the set of his jaw, the shape of his lips, the-

"W-what is?" She stammers, dazed.

"The water." He laughs, and she feels so silly.

"... Right."

Some of the people back in her hometown used to believe in Gods; said calling upon their names would ease their thoughts and bring them to calm.

Perhaps she should try it, just this once, because her heart-

But then, Armin leans in, a smile just short of bashful playing on his lips.

"There's more water like this beyond the walls."

Oh god, there it is. Again. Somehow, she's glad for it.

Annie can't help but release a sigh. "I was wondering if you'd grown tired of talking about the sea. Haven't heard about it in three days."

There's everything in his laugh, embarrassment, happiness, hope the size of the sun, and then some more embarrassment. For better or worse, Annie decides, it's her favourite sound and can he please continue to laugh?

"Sorry. I'm sure I've bored you by now..."

"No," She hums, drawing her knees to her chest and closing her eyes to the warmth heating up her face. "Tell me about it again."

And he does.

And Annie decides it's her favourite story because it's kind and beautiful and better than any of the ones she grew up hearing.

This story of the sea is sweet.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

[stevebabey]

personally love the interaction in the start of s4 where steve goes “ugh, you know i don’t do double vhs.” when robin suggests doctor zhivago. like ugh robin!!!! we’ve talked about this before!!! steve has a limited attention span and if robin puts on something too long, he will start shooting her with rubber bands

[wtfforged]

i think about this one piece party panel so often i wanted to draw it

the panel ⤵️

[that-one-weird-cloud0]

Batman: You need a new costume. That one provides no protection.

Danny: oh I cant.

Batman: You won’t owe me for it.

Danny: no I literally cant. Like if i remove it it just returns.

Batman:………. Explain.

Danny: look *takes off glove and explodes it into pieces*

*glove reforms on his hand*

Danny: see? Can’t get rid of it. It’ll just heal itself.

Batfam: …

[void-dude]

Where were tad when weirdmageddon happend?

You've been sitting in my inbox so fucking long, im gonna answer but it's gonna be super cryptic. It will make sense once I get to that point in the story. Anyways.

Tad was sitting in a golden cage of his own making!

Have fun being slightly confused and or intrigued!

[greenlaut]

anatomy of an assassin

[lucabyte]

I don't know how everyone isn't also always constantly thinking about how burial rites seem to be potentially one of the few things Siffrin instinctively remembers about their culture. But rest assured. I am in fact always thinking about it.

Textless version where they're just hanging out. It's fine!

[magnoliamyrrh]

that post about how traumatized people are expected to censor their own experiences reminds me of how when people with visible deformities or scarring post selfies, people will get mad at them and go “this could be triggering!! tw body horror!”

people need to develop a sense of shame for their own hypersensitivity and sheltered coddled lives. being shielded from the realities of other peoples lives is not a human right. if you dont wanna see scarred people then avoid looking at photos. if you dont wanna know about peoples life experiences don’t talk to them. I hate this shit so much. “You owe it to me to hide the evidence of your suffering because thinking about it makes me bummed out!!” I lived through the actual experience, I think you’ll survive witnessing the fact that I survived. jesus christ

sry for late reply but this is so damn real i still think abt this all the time. "i lived through the actual experience, i think you'll survive witnessing the fact that i survived" bars tbh. very well put into words

[simplydnp]

The Dan in the Shrek shirt and hat is giving “we were being silly and soft still in our pjs in the hotel room” vibes like he looks like he just woke up 😭🥺

lightly tousled for sure. a lil squinty a little flirty a little ruffled. definitely part of how they recovered from jet lag

[egophiliac]

I love how you draw Grim the size of a small cat. It genuinely blows my mind that according to the game he's actually approximately 70 cm tall... Like, Ortho is 148 cm. That's only two Grims! If Grim stands on Ortho's head, they'd be just a bit taller than Malleus (who is 202 cm and I'm not sure that's counting the horns)! The proportions are just so wild to try to imagine realistically... (and I do like the small cat Grim take more, it's very endearing)

every time I remember Grim is actually supposed to be the size of, like, a medium-to-largeish dog, and then I just...draw him cat-sized anyway. I also think it's cuter that way! 🤷 (let's just say he's not allowed to ride the servant unless he takes the shrinking potion first.)

ultimately I figure we all get a little artistic license in our fanart, and mine are:

cat-sized Grim

Lilia with hair spikes up to the heavens

w i d e Silver

[orphiclovers]

Rereading early ORV and I have some THOUGHTS on Kim Dokja. In typical me fashion, they are unpopular. So if he's your absolute favourite character and seeing him be criticized will ruin your day, maybe skip this post, ok? Peace.

-

What is so novel and interesting about Kim Dokja is that he GENUINELY doesn't really have a knee jerk emotional reaction of outrage and empathy when seeing injustice happen. He sees something immoral and bad, but doesn't FEEL horrified and disgusted. Emotions don't drive him to attempt to fix the situation or save anyone.

Instead his moral compass is based on the simple logic that 'bad things happening should be prevented if there is an opportunity to prevent them.'

This philosophy is the most apparent in his actions in Chungmuro on the WHOLE, with the food and marginalized group and etc. But I will point out this moment in particular as an example of what I mean.

They see women be driven to prostitution to survive. Jung Heewon has an instinctive, human reaction of outrage and disgust, wants to rush in and save them and damn the consequences, while Kim Dokja is calm and rational, holding her back and saying those woman will starve if they try to help right now.

This lack of empathy (feeling strong emotions) is definitely due to childhood trauma stunting his emotional development but... that doesn't change the fact this is a legitimate part of his personality now.

Usually, when a character is 'cold and ruthless', it's because they are repressing their true feelings and forcing themselves to be unfeeling for some goal. Like Yoo Joonghyuk, for example.

But we are IN Kim Dokja's head and get to see the way he thinks, and being 'unfeelingly rational' IS what comes naturally to him.

Before you say anything, I know the Fourth Wall represses some of his emotions in certain situations and certainly helps him deal with pain and horror. But we are ALWAYS TOLD when it's active, and it isn't in these moments.

Blaming all of Kim Dokja's less than moral thoughts and behavior on the 4th wall even when there's no indication that it's influencing him at that particular moment, is not something I want to do as it feels like an attempt to scrub away his moral greyness. I choose to believe that his narration, in moments when he's not wrong or biased or 4th wall-ed, is a basically accurate representation of his character. I think the authors didn't make his narration totally 100% unreliable all the time, with no possible indication of where he's wrong or right. Because that would mean there is nothing a reader can latch onto and draw conclusions about KDJ from.

If they wanted to write about a faceless self insert with no concrete personality traits and flaws, a person you can headcanon to be anything, they wouldn't have written ORV.

I think it's okay to acknowledge Kim Dokja's first reaction to seeing a woman about to be raped is not 'oh my god...those bastards...! I have to stop this...!' but '...she might be dangerous or a hinderence in a future...'

We don't need to make excuses here and try to justify this. A moment later he catches himself thinking like this and 'shudders with disgust at himself.'

His first, instinctive thoughts that he can't control don't necessarily make him a bad person. What matters is his second thoughts and what he actually chooses to do, which he CAN control. I ALSO don't think he's wrong to feel disgusted at himself for having low empathy. His guilt is justified.

I genuinely like him even more for always picking the 'moral option' in every scenario now, than if he did it immediately with no hesitation. Because it makes empathy and compassion a constant choice he's making, and putting in the effort reflects well on what his values are.

Kim Dokja legitimately can't help but weigh everyone he meets on a scale of how 'useful they potenially are' first and foremost. He does this with strangers and also with all of kimcom too.

"Who should I save because they would be useful in the future? I wasn't Yoo Joonghyuk to be thinking about these things." At this point, chap 74, he thinks Yoo Joonghyuk is wrong and doesn't want to be like him at all and mostly calls him a psychopath. He thinks 'acting like him' is wrong and undesirable.

He has a mini arc about Yoo Joonghyuk later, goes from 'he's a bad person, I know it because I know everything about him' in chap 81 to 'maybe I don't know him at all' in chap 82 but this is before that.

Seeing people as tools and deciding who to save based on future knowledge is a thing BOTH of them do. Yet Kim Dokja critisizes Yoo Joonghyuk for it, it's his least favourite character trait that YJH of TWSA has.

And in typical Kim Dokja fashion, this similarity between them is exactly what he despises in Yoo Joonghyuk - but now we find out it's not because he finds it amoral ("I'm not a humanist" - he doesn't care about that part) but because he sees it as a mirror reflection of himself. He's projecting, as always!

In early ORV, he hates the part of Yoo Joonghyuk that is the most similar to himself. (even tho they're sort of the polar opposites too. Yoo Joonghyuk is a deeply emotionally driven person, he feels empathy and the desire to save everyone but chooses to repress and ignore this and act like a ruthless 'psychopath'. KDJ disagrees with this choice, as Kim Dokja IS an unfeeling psychopath (low empathy) but does his best to act like a decent person and not an edgelord.)

[starry-bi-sky]

*stares at disciple SQQ falling into the abyss au*

oh you are so "SY-is-SJ" coded. You are so "fell into the abyss and suddenly remembered that oh i've been Shen Jiu this whole time, not just Shen Yuan. we are one and the same". you are so 'crumbling under the weight of the system and being in the abyss and the despair of never really being free and having suffered in both lives' built. you are so 'scrambling to come to terms with your existence and battling with which life is really yours, only to realize that they both are'. You are primed for going off the rails.

I'm so normal about this guys. i promise.

[tricodekus]

baby fever

[thembo-bright]

Soooo.... this is what's happening right now right?

[patrickztump]

I have to act a lot in these, which is kinda crazy, there's a lot of responsibility on me. But, uh, um– No, I'm saying I have to act and I'm not, like, good at it, really. You are good at it. ✘