#this ''argument'' is always so funny to me

[lucidheart3]

Here is my movie SonAmy hc’s because even though they didn’t even talk yet I LOVE THEM ALREADY

- Looking at the moon used to remind Sonic of how he failed badly against Gerald and Shadow. How he lost himself, and almost did unspeakavle things, and failed to save Shadow even though it was his choice to sacrifice himself and Sonic told him he always had a choice. That’s until he met Amy under that full moon. Now he is reminded of his meeting with her instead. She made the moon beautiful for him again.

(I know this is cheesy but this also reminds me that ‘Moon is beautiful, isn’t it? means I love you in Japan lol)

- They adore each other equally. Amy loves the blue of his quills and how they shine when he uses his power. Sonic is mesmerized by her eyes because they are gorgeus even though ythey have the same eye color (because he has the seaweed eyes lol, obligatory call back to this post )

- Amy has similar interests with him. When they listen to music she has as much fun as him. She enjoys doing silly dances with him and they have a thousand videos of them just dancing and fooling around. He enjoys spending time with his brothers too, but this things in particular weren’t really appealing to Tails and Knuckles so it’s a huge deal for him that Amy enjoys music and dancing as much as he does.

- It’s so funny to Amy when Sonic fools around. When the others would be exasperated with this blue doofus she’d be laughing her pink butt off.

- Sonic has attempted to use Amy’s hammer several times and failed at every single one. I imagine him swinging her hammer around and collapse on the ground because it’s so heavy for him. But he is never frustrated and doesn’t feel like she makes fun of him when she laughs because her giggles are music to his ears.

- If the team ( that Amy is a part of now) ever has arguments, like in Sonic 3 with Sonic refusing to come around, she’d be PISSED at him. No holding herself back like Knuckles did, no offence to Knuckles he is the best big bro ever, but she would be making that cocky heghehog a pancake on the ground because they are a team, damn it! I imagine her in the Team’s argument when Sonic gets angry at Tails she’d be like ‘how dare you!!’ and telling him to get a grip quickly. Sonic is angry and scared at the same time. He’d be like ‘yes Ma’am.’ So I imagine her as the glue that holds the team together.

-Once Sonic shows her his favourite movies she is quick to get any reference from that point onward, and makes several of her own.

-She adores sweets so Sonic attempts to make her a Strawberry Shortcake (read; nearly sets the house on fire) so he is banned to use kitchen without someone overseeing him.She appreciates the sentiment though

- Amy teaches everyone to make flower crowns. Of course gives Sonic the one she makes first, and accepts his wonky one with pleasure and wears it with pride.

- Amy has a beautiful voice so Sonic learns how to play a guitar just to be able to perform with her.

- Amy is the first one that can get Sonic to wear clothes.She thinks brown suits him the best, he thinks it is boring (but all his clothes are brown now)

-Amy sucks at baseball so Sonic tries to teach her.But accidentally touching hands make them unable to continuate because they are so flustered.

That’s all for now, let me know if you guys would like to see a part two!!!

[inlovewithquestionablecharacters]

Cho Sang Woo X F!Reader: A blast from the past

a/n: this was originally supposed to be a Gi hun x Sang-woo X reader but it became something else.

Warnings: smut, kissing, Sang woo being an ass, fluff, jealousy, fingering, penetration (p in v), mentions of attempted suicide, domish Sang woo, fighting, no use of y/n, not proofread, female reader

Word count: 3656 (holy moly)

Fate is a funny thing. Here you were, trapped inside a game of death with none other than your childhood best friends. You hadn’t seen them in ages but the moment you laid eyes on the two men you recognized them instantly. You raced over to them, a smile on your face as you watched the men's eyes widen in recognition.

“Oh my god! Sang-woo, look who it is!”

Gi hun wasted no time, immediately pulling you into a warm embrace. He smelled different then you remembered. The sugary scent that he had when he was a child was completely gone, replaced with a metallic scent that reminded you of coins. Gi hun pulled out of the embrace, his arms holding onto your shoulders as he turned to glance at Sang-woo with an easy smile. The other man gazed at you with an impassive expression. He had always had a sober look, even as a child. You smiled at him but he didn't return the gesture, opting instead to push his glasses up.

“What are you doing here?”

The emotionless tone in which he asked the question made a twinge of anger shoot through you. He sounded like he was judging you. 

“I could ask you the same thing, Mister SNU Business School graduate.”

Gi hun looked between the two of you, noticing the obvious tension. In a desperate attempt to stop this conversation before it became an argument, something that often happened when you and Sang-woo had any sort of interaction, Gi hun placed his hands on either one of your shoulders. You looked at him, your belly warming at the sight of his goofy smile. 

“Looks like we’re going to be playing some games. Should be fun right?”

You glanced at the doll at the edge of the room.

“I was always quite good at red light, green light.”

Sang-woo shrugged Gi hun's hand from his shoulder before silently moving away from the two of you. You scoffed at the action.

“What’s up his ass?”

“I think he’s embarrassed that you saw him like this.”

“But I'm in here too. And so are you.”

“Yeah well, I never had a promising future laid out for me.”

Your brows furrowed at his words but Gi hun just shrugged, as if he knew the affirmation was true.

“Plus, he always wanted to impress you. Even as kids.”

Before you could question Gi huns words a voice rang out through the room, telling you the games were about to begin. 

Your hands shook as you walked back into the dormitory. Blood stained your face and clothes. You looked like a zombie, stumbling around in silence until you reached your bed. You knew the boys had made it too, you’d gotten a quick glance at them as you walked back to the dormitory but you were far too out of it to do anything about it. Luckily you didn’t have to search for them. They found you instead.

You raised your head as a sudden darkness filled your field of vision. Sang-woo stood before you, his face covered in sweat. Somehow he’d managed to keep his glasses on during the game. He didn’t say anything, his eyes moving over the blood on your body. A shrill call of your name rang out from behind you, causing you to look over his shoulder. Gi hun raced towards you, pushing past Sang-woo so he could get to you. He kneeled before you, his hands moving to hold onto your face. 

“Are you okay?”

His eyes seemed to notice the blood for the first time, eyebrows raising with horror.

“Are you hurt? Did you-”

“It’s not hers.”

Sang-woos voice made the two of you look up at him.

“What?”

“The blood Gi hun. It’s not hers.”

Your lip started shaking. Before you could stop them the tears began flowing from your eyes. A small sob made its way from your lips, causing Gi hun’s head to snap back to you. He watched you with wide eyes for a moment before his hands moved to tug you into him. He pulled you to the floor, holding you in a fierce hug. 

“It’s okay. We’re okay.”

Sang-woo watched the exchange with a heavy heart. He watched the way your hands clawed at Gi huns jacket, desperately trying to cling onto something. He wanted to move but he didn't feel like he should. You were probably angry at him, he’d been a dick to you after all. He thought of moving away, leaving you and Gi hun to your tender embrace. But before he could turn around your voice ripped through the silence. You called out his name in a rough whisper, voice a barely contained sob. You hand moved from Gi hun’s jacket, extending it to him in invitation. Gi hun unclinged himself from your body, allowing him to look at Sang-woo. Sang-woo looked from your tear stained face to Gi hun's wide eyed expression and before he could stop himself he was sinking to the floor before you, allowing you to pull him into a tight hug. 

You were sitting on your bed, one of the boys on either side of you. Gi hun held one of your hands in his lap. Sangwoo’s gaze drifted to your hands ever so often, a small twinge of jealousy making its way into his mind. He didn’t know why he’d suddenly started caring about your caresses with Gi hun. Even as children you’d always been closer to the other boy, a consequence of Sangwoos cold nature. But now he wished you’d cling onto him the way you clung to Gi hun. The thought was ripped out of his head when the alarm sounded. 

During the whole voting process your hand remained glued to Gi huns. You watched player after player vote until finally it was Sangwoos' turn. You gave him a small smile as he walked over to the buttons. Your face dropped as you watched him press “O”. You could feel Gi hun's disappointment beside you but he pushed it down to whisper in your ear.

“It’s okay. We still have a chance.”

You nodded, eyes never moving away from the back of Sang-woos head. 

Your body crashed onto the harsh ground with a thud. You groaned as you tried to lift your body up. You couldn't see a thing and your body was bound at an awkward angle. You felt a pair of hands move against your face. You twisted away, a small shriek leaving your lips.

“Stop wiggling around.I’m trying to help.”

You recognized his voice instantly. A small part of you wanted to keep wiggling just to make his life harder, but the cold air on your body was becoming very uncomfortable so you stayed still. The moment both of you were free Sang-woo made his way over to his bag, pulling out his clothes. You stared at him in disbelief. He seemed to notice your eyes on him because he turned around.

“You should get dressed. You’ll get sick.”

You let out a scoff.

“Like you give a shit.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You voted to stay!”

You’d made your way over to him, hands moving to tug the bag out of his hand before throwing it at the floor. Sang-woo gave you a tired look.

“I’m really not in the mood-”

“Oh! I’m sorry! You’re not in the mood to listen to what a shit person you are?”

Sang-woo bit into his lips in anger, his head moving to look at the road.

“Don't look away from me!”

You hit his chest with all your might, something you would do when he’d pissed you off.

“What the hell were you thinking huh? People were killed! We were all going to die and you wanted to keep playing? For what? Some extra cash?”

“Extra cash?” 

He was angry now. You could tell from the look on his face, the way his lips became a small line as he spoke.

“That money would get rid of my debt!”

“It’s blood money Sang-woo!”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t think about it. I saw your face when they started to fill the piggy bank. You wanted it.”

You shake your head at him.

“You don't know anything about me. You never bothered to.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means!”

Your face was so close to his that he could feel your breath on his skin. You were looking up at him with a scowl, your brows furrowed so intensely that the line on your forehead became very predominant. You’d only ever looked at him with such anger once before. He didn’t want to remember that day. His eyes shifted over to your body, gaze catching on the bare skin.He couldn’t help it, he’d always found you rather beautiful. He wanted to keep arguing but he was cold and tired. He knew you would keep this up all night if you had to. You were stubborn like that. So he did the only thing he knew would shut you up. He kissed you.

He tasted like cigarettes, his hands were cold as they grabbed onto your waist, pulling flush against his body. Your brain stopped working for a moment, the feeling of his lips was intoxicating but then you seemed to remember that you were mad at him. You shoved him off of you. Your face was flushed, chest rising and falling as you stared at him.

“You’re such a dick Sang-woo.”

With that you’d turned on your heels making your way to the bag that held your clothes. Sang-woo watched you rip it open, removing your clothes from inside before beginning to get dressed. He waited for a moment before beginning to get dressed too. 

Your shoulders shook as you walked down the road. You’d been giving Sang-woo the silent treatment ever since you’d both decided you would walk to the nearest convenience store so you could charge your phones. You kept up with Sang-woos pace but it was obvious you were having a hard time with the cold, not that you would ever admit it to him. Sang-woo stopped abruptly. You turned around to look at him.

“What are you doing? We're almost there.”

You watched him take off his suit jacket. He put his hand out to you, offering you the garment. You glanced at the jacket and then up at him. What was his deal? First he treats you like shit, then he kisses you and now he’s giving you his jacket.

“Take it. I know you’re cold.”

You're about to say you’re fine but a strong gust of wind blows causing you to shiver.

“Oh for fucks sake.”

Sang-woo makes his way to you, placing his jacket over your shoulders. You stare up at him as he drapes the jacket over your body. His glasses are slightly falling down his nose so you raise a finger to his face and push them up. He looks at you for a moment, surprised by the action. 

“Thanks.”

“You’re still an asshole.”

With that you start walking again, leaving Sang-woo behind with a shocked expression. 

It had been a day since you’d left the games. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t seem to stop thinking about that place. Or about Sang-woo. You hated to admit it but even since you’d seen him you’d been plagued by memories of your childhood. You had a crush on Sang-Woo when you were younger. It was hard not to be attracted to him. But as you two grew older he seemed to become more and more distant. One night you had a big fight. It was right before you’d gone off to college and neither one of you had spoken since then. That is until the games brought you back together. 

You stood in front of his door, a bag of takeout in your hand as the other moved to ring the doorbell. When there was no sign of an answer you rang again. You waited for him to come to the door but it seemed he wasn't home. With a disappointed sigh you began moving away. Your head snapped back to the door when you heard the lock click. 

Sang woo stared at you, his eyes moving to the bag in your hand before moving to glance at your face.

“What are you doing here?”

“I thought maybe you’d like some company…”

You looked at him, noticing the water that dripped from his pants.

“Did you fall into the bathtub?”

Sang-woo moved out of the way, not bothering to answer your question. You entered his apartment, being careful as to not slip on the watery floor. Sang woo trailed behind you in silence. He watched you remove the food from your bag, placing it on the table before turning to look at him. 

“You should probably change. You’re all wet.”

He looked down at his feet, watching the water drip from his pants. You watched him, worry filling your chest. You made your way to him. Sang-woo lifted his gaze from the floor as you approached him. The pitiful look you gave him made him feel pathetic. 

“Do you want me to help?”

He nodded slowly. 

“Okay.”

You moved your hand to his chest, slowly beginning to unbutton his shirt. Once you've managed to get all the buttons you reached beneath the cloth, pushing his shirt and jacket off in one go. The wet fabric landed with a dull thud on the ground. Your hand moved to his waistband, eyes gazing up at him through your lashes. The tension filled the air, making it hard to breathe. You moved slowly, afraid that any harsh move would make Sang-woo react negatively. You began to work on his belt but his hand stopped you. You looked up at him, searching for discomfort in his face. 

“Everything okay?”

He nodded, his hand moving to rest on your waist. You gasped as his cold hand made its way beneath the fabric, fingers skimming over the bare skin. He tugged your shirt up a bit, stopping only to look at you for confirmation that this was okay. You nodded at him, not trusting your voice. You lifted your arms, allowing him to tug your shirt off. He looked at you for a while, just talking in the sight of your flushed expression. One of his hands moved to trace your collarbone and you let out a breathy sigh. 

“Sang-woo.”

“Hum?”

“Please don’t tease.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

He was. But not on purpose. He was trying to remember every inch of your face. He needed to go back in time, even if just for one night. He wanted to feel like a teenager again. Young and unburdened. His hand moved to hold onto your face, fingers tracing your lips before he leaned down to kiss you. The kiss was gentler than the one he’d given you the night before. Your hands wrapped around his neck, tugging him closer. Your pants began to drench up the water from his as the two of you kissed. You pulled away to breathe and Sang-woo took it as a chance to kiss your neck. You gasped as his tongue moved over your skin. Your hands fumbled against his belt, tugging it off in desperation before moving to pull his pants down. His own hands found their way to your bottoms, pulling them off as well.

The two of you broke apart for a moment, panting as you took in the sight of each other. Your eyes traced over Sang woo's body, you’d seen it hours prior but the circumstances had been very different. You couldn’t help but rub your thighs together as your eyes caught onto his hard on. Sang-Woo's throat was suddenly dry. He’d been planning to kill himself moments ago, if you hadn't knocked he’d probably gone through with it. He pushed the thoughts down, trying to focus on the task at hand. There was a beautiful semi naked woman before him. He wasn’t going to waste the opportunity. 

With one long stride Sang woo made his way to you, kissing you with a newly found hunger. He pushed you against the wall, his lips swallowing your gasps. His hard on rubbed against your clothed cunt and you couldn’t help but moan. His hand moved down your body, fingers rubbing over your underwear for a moment before pushing it to the side. You gasped as his digits entered you, nails digging into the muscles of his back. The sound your pussy made as he fingered you was down right shameful but you couldn’t get yourself to care. Not when your body buzzed with your upcoming orgasm. Your mouth went slack as Sang woo shifted his hand, allowing him to enter his fingers even deeper. 

“I missed you.”

“You’re the one that didn’t keep contact.”

Sangwoo grumbled at your words, fingers curling into you.

“I- ah- had to find out how you-shit- were through your mother.”

He was moving at a rapid speed, his motions making the air leave your chest. 

“Gi hun was all over you.”

“What?”

The words caught you off guard. Here you were,in his apartment, with his fingers inside you. And he was talking about Gi hun.

“In the games. He was all over you.” 

“He was excited to see me. Unlike some people.”

Sang-woo stilled his movements at your words, making you whine.

“Why’d you stop?”

“You’re mine.”

“What are-”

“Say it.”

You looked up at Sang-woo with wide eyes. The pathetic puppy dong you’d found when you walked in was completely gone. Sang-woo was back and he knew exactly what he could do to you. Your walls clenched around his fingers as he waited for you to say what he wanted. 

“I’m yours.”

Sang-woo's neck twitched at your breathy voice. He crashed his lips onto yours, fingers moving inside you once again. Your moans became more and more high pitched. You were so close, your eyes began to roll back into your head, mouth becoming slack. Just as you were about to tell Sang-woo you were going to cum he removed himself from you completely. You wanted to yell at him. He'd brought you to the brink only to rip it away at the last second.

You moved forward, fully prepared to hit him but you stilled when your gaze fell to his boxers. He was incredibly hard. There was a small stain on the fabric you assumed was pre cum. You watched him place his fingers on the edge of his boxers, thighs rubbing together in anticipation.  In one smooth movement he tugged his boxers down, his dick slapping proudly against his stomach as he removed it from its continents. Sang-woo hissed at the feeling of the cold air on his dick. You stared at him without a twinge of shame. 

“Take your bra off.”

You didn’t even question it, immediately moving to unclasp the garment. Sang-woo made his way back to you, his hand moving to caress your breasts. You whined as he kissed your neck.

“Sang-woo please…”

“What is it, hum?”

“I need you inside me. Please fuck me.”

You could feel him smirk against your skin. This cocky bastard. You grabbed at his dick causing him to let out a moan. His head snapped up to look at you.

“I’m starting to lose my patience, Sang-woo.”

The look he gave you was comical. He was always in control but he’d forgotten just who he was dealing with.

“Either you fuck me right now or i’m leaving you to deal with this alone.”

“Oh yeah? And what about you huh? Gonna deal with this yourself.”

He grabbed at your cunt and you keened. 

“Don’t worry about me. I’m sure Gi hun would love to help.”

A growl left Sang woo's lips. In a blink of an eye he’d dragged your underwear down, his hands pushing you against the wall as he inserted himself in you. He didn’t give you a moment to breathe, his dick beginning to bully into you. All you could do was whine as his dick rammed into your pussy. You grabbed onto him, legs moving to wrap around his waist.

“Think Gi hun could fuck you like this? Think he could even compare to me? Answer me!”

“No! Sang-woo only you can fuck me like this. Please!”

“Good girl. You gonna cum? Gonna cream all over my cock?”

You were a babbling mess, your head nodding eagerly as your orgasm approached. You half expected Sang-woo to pull away again. It’s not that he didn't think of punishing you, the idea did cross his mind but the feeling of you wrapped around him was far too irresistible. And then if it couldn’t get any better you came. A shrill screech of his name made its way out of your lips as your juices counted his dick. Your body sagged into his, head resting on the crock of his neck. His hands moved to grab at your ass, allowing his thrusts to quicken. You whined into his neck, a slight feeling of overstimulation beginning to come over you. Sang-woo gave one last harsh thrust before his body stopped moving. You felt his side spill into you, coating your walls with ease. 

You removed your legs from his waist slowly. Sang-woo continued to pant, trying to recover from his orgasm. You pushed some hair off his face. He looked at you, his eyes full of an unexpected tenderness.

“Don’t leave me again.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Sang Woo. I’m right here.”

As if to prove your point you placed a loving kiss to his lips, forehead resting against his as silence filled the room.

[badgalsasuke]

hey there! i was just scrolling on tiktok and i came across this specific video.

it kinda irked me and i wanna know your thoughts on it. thanks for all you do!

Hi!

Oh my god Sakura stans are so fucking insufferable but also they're soooooo miserable!

First things first, the whole "Sasuke didn't deserve her" has never made sense because Sasuke never wanted that woman. If he had chased her or showed any interest in her and then turned out to be a shitty partner then yeah, but he never did and Sakura being the entitled dumbass she's always been is now dealing with the consequences of her incessant chase not caring that man always let her know he didn't like her.

This stan in particular is aware of the connection Sasuke and Naruto have, but doesn't like that they have it and also wishes it was Sakura who had it with Sasuke instead, hence why she felt the need to bring up SN at all when she could've made her dumb argument without it but Sakura stans can't never acknowledge they stan a moronic loser hence why they have to shift all the blame for Sakura's actions onto Sasuke with the whole "he would've been a shitty partner for everybody" (no, he wouldn't and the way he co-parents Boruto with Naruto is proof of that). They feel not just insecure about SNS but deeply humilliated by it because all they had ever wished for is for their cherry blossom queen to stop being pathetic once and finally get her charming prince, but that prince is instead obsessed with Naruto and that obsession is mutual. I have this feeling that Sakura stans whether they ship SS or NRSK or whatever other ship involving Sakura, need to fantasize and convince themselves that Sasuke mistreats Naruto just like he does Sakura and that his relationship with Naruto is just as shitty like his relationship with Sakura to cope with his lack of interest in her.

It's so funny how they mention all the things Sasuke did to Sakura but don't talk about how that girl still wanted him and chased him across the world when he explicitly told her it had nothing to do with her! this shitty miserable marriage is her fault! Sasuke didn't trap her in it, it was the other way around when that girl got knocked up through some shady ways!

They just want someone who is crazy about Sakura because well, I guess since she has nothing going on other than her one-sided obsession with Sasuke they have to imagine what it'd be like if she had ended up with someone who wanted her like Rock Lee or the Naruto they made up in their heads (who would always pick Sasuke over Sakura anytime anywhere).

[f1-tennisgirlie]

while i am on a roll, just decided to write another funny scene where some of the dumbasses hold an intervention for them so here goes <3

(p.s i wrote them as tennis players here idk why 😭😭)

A few days after the internet had barely started recovering from the married bombshell, their friends decided they had had enough.

It started when Lorenzo Musetti (still not over the betrayal) rallied a group chat titled “Intervention for Sinneralcaraz”—yes, a ship name, because even in his dramatics, he couldn’t help but be on-brand.

Lorenzo: “This is an emergency.” Daniil Medvedev: “They will not take us seriously.” Stefanos Tsitsipas: “They never take us seriously.” Casper Ruud: “We are seriously unserious people.” Matteo Berrettini: “Can’t believe I found out about their marriage through a meme.” Lorenzo: “Exactly. That’s why we must act.”

Somehow, within hours, Lorenzo had orchestrated a full-blown Intervention Zoom Call.

Jannik and Carlos? Invited under false pretenses.

When they logged in, sunglasses on, cocktails still in hand, they were greeted by way too many people sitting in deadpan silence.

Lorenzo: “Sit down.” Carlos: “We are sitting?” Jannik: “Why do you look like you’re about to read us our last rites?”

Daniil, who had clearly been chosen as spokesperson against his will, sighed. “We are here because you two are menaces.”

Matteo: “We lived through the fan account era. We lived through the constant Twitter wars. But the fact that you were MARRIED through all of it—” He actually clutched his chest. “I have never felt so foolish in my life.”

Lando Norris popped up in the corner of the screen. “I feel like I should sue.”

Pierre Gasly: “What was the reason?”

Jannik took a sip of his drink. “Entertainment.”

Carlos nodded. “It was funny.”

Lorenzo screamed.

Novak Djokovic, who had joined halfway through just to witness the chaos, finally spoke up. “I have won 24 Grand Slams, and even I did not see this plot twist coming.”

Rafa Nadal, rubbing his temples, sighed. “Carlos. Mi hijo. How did I not know?”

Carlos, casually: “You never asked.”

Andy Murray: “I have watched a lot of absurd things happen in this sport, but nothing—nothing—comes close to the two of you gaslighting the entire internet while wearing wedding rings.”

Jannik, smirking: “Thank you.”

Daniil Medvedev: “THAT WAS NOT A COMPLIMENT.”

Emma Raducanu, from her box, just shook her head. “I’m just here for the live entertainment.”

Stefanos Tsitsipas finally cut in. “Okay. Serious question. Were you ever actually beefing? Or was it all a long con?”

Carlos: “Oh, we were absolutely beefing sometimes.” Jannik: “There were genuine arguments. I stand by the fact that your takes were criminal.” Carlos: “And I stand by the fact that I was always right.” Jannik: “See? This is why you’re insufferable.” Carlos: “And yet, you still married me.”

Lorenzo fake gasped. “Divorce. Immediately.”

Novak, exhausted: “I cannot believe I canceled practice for this.”

Andy, visibly amused: “Lorenzo, you are acting like a jilted lover.”

Lorenzo: “I WAS LIED TO. WE WERE ALL LIED TO.”

Jannik: “Again. We literally invited you to the wedding.”

Carlos, sipping his drink: “You just didn’t read the email.”

Lorenzo: [inaudible screaming]

Daniil, massaging his temples: “I have wasted years trying to mediate your online fights. Do you know how many times I’ve had to say ‘just block him’?”

Jannik: “Oh, I did. But then I unblocked him because I missed bullying him.”

Carlos: “Aww, babe.”

Matteo: “No. Nope. Absolutely not.”

Casper, looking horrified: “Wait. How long have you been married?”

Carlos: “Define long.”

Lando: “BRO.”

Novak, muting himself because he was actually laughing too hard, waved a hand. “I am done. You two are impossible.”

Rafa, still distressed: “Carlos. I need to process this.”

Andy: “You need to process this? I’m never trusting anyone again.”

Emma: “I mean. Low-key? This was iconic.”

Pierre: “No. It was criminal.”

George Russell, from the background: “Both can be true.”

Lorenzo: “I will be pressing charges.”

Jannik: “On what grounds?”

Lorenzo: “EMOTIONAL DAMAGE.”

Carlos: “L take.”

Stefanos: “Can we at least get one serious answer? What made you guys finally drop the act?”

Jannik shrugged. “Some random person said, ‘imagine if they were actually dating,’ and we thought it’d be funny to go radio silent.”

Carlos grinned. “Then Jannik dropped the vacation pic, and we just watched the world burn.”

Daniil, visibly regretting every life decision that led him to this moment: “You two are evil.”

Carlos, smug: “And married.”

Jannik: “Don’t forget that part.”

Lorenzo, barely holding it together: “I need to lie down.”

Novak, standing up: “This was deeply unproductive. Thank you for wasting my time.”

Carlos: “Anytime.”

Jannik: “This was fun. Let’s do it again soon.”

[END CALL.]

And that’s how the world’s most unserious sports intervention ended—with zero resolutions, infinite chaos, and the married menaces continuing to reign supreme.

sincaraz au where they both run fan/update accounts for rival players/teams (big4? f1? football? etc.) and have beef but also flirt like crazy on the tl and subject all their followers to watching whatever the hell is going on between them and then bam they fall in love and somehow people find out they're dating/married/fucking/etc.

OR they're already dating/married/fucking/etc. but they have beef and flirt on the tl for fun

[msnihilist]

"Get a job and pay taxes" I do have a job, that's why I don't care if I'm making the """wrong""" fictional characters kiss, I have real problems to worry about and online time is my relaxing time, not my pleasing everyone time.

[ultravioletbrit]

“hold” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 488 words

this, but make it jegulus (i tried to get it as close to the original as possible)

Remus is sitting in an armchair doubled over with laughter. Sirius has fallen out of his chair and is cackling on the floor with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. Regulus is sitting on the couch trying his best to stay composed. And James in standing in the middle of the room with more passion and fire in his eyes than Regulus has ever seen.

“Hold on! Hold on! Hold on!” James is shouting.

“James—” Regulus tries to calmly interrupt.

“HOLD ON!” James looks pointedly at Regulus and his eyes look like they’re going to literally pop out of his head. “Her sister was a witch, right?” Regulus is trying so hard to hold back his laughter. “And what was her sister? A princess! The Wicked Witch of the East, Reg.” James is yelling, not unkindly just very passionately, looking directly at Regulus and nodding his head aggressively to emphasize every point.

James starts pacing in genuine distress. Sirius is rolling on the floor holding his stomach and laughing so hard his entire body is shaking. Remus has his hands over his mouth, which is doing absolutely nothing to contain his laughter.

Regulus stands up to meet James in the middle of the room. “I’m gonna stab him.” He mumbles under his breath, which makes Sirius laugh even harder—if that’s even possible.

James whips around to face Regulus. “You’re gonna looks at me and you’re gonna tell me that I’m wrong? Am I wrong?” James asks emphatically.

And the thing is—James is, in fact, very wrong. “It’s my favorite—” Regulus tries to interject but can’t even get a word in.

“She wore a crown, and she came down in a bubble, Reg!” And that proves absolutely nothing.

Regulus knows he’ll never get James to listen to him. “I’m not fighting with you.” He shakes his head, chuckling fondly.

James makes his way out of the living room. “Grow up!” He says over his shoulder.

“I’m not fighting with you.” Regulus says again.

“Grow up.” James seems to be losing steam as he leaves the room.

“Get educated!” Regulus yells then flops down on the couch and finally lets his laughter out.

Eventually Regulus, Sirius and Remus’ laugher fades into soft chuckles as they calm down and take several deep breaths to compose themselves.  

It’s a few minutes later when James appears in the doorway with a sheepish look on his face—that Regulus thinks is adorable. He slowly makes his way over to the couch and sits down beside Regulus. He’s quiet for a few moments then turns slightly to look at Regulus.   

“I’m not really mad.” James says in a small voice. “And you know I love you, right?”

Regulus chuckles fondly and takes James’ face in his hands. “Yes, I know you love me, Jamie.” He leans in to kiss James softly then pulls back the tiniest bit. “But you’re still wrong.” Regulus whispers against James lips.    

[redhoodie1723]

even more duos!

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 6 part 7 part 8

[sir-fenris]

Took me a little while to get to this 'cause my head was elsewhere yesterday, but I'm always here for the commmentary :D

I'm in the middle of an allergy attack and running on 4 hours of sleep, I'm gonna do my best.

Vi had lied to him, essentially. Paris was a prisoner just as long as he was here. But, as she reminded him frequently, he could leave at any time. They’d give him his sword back at the door. They’d take it away at the next base they crashed into. 

Lorelai was in her element, though. She was one of them now, clear as day. There was a little medallion around her neck, the gold markings which he recognized as distinctly imperial.

So funny to see Paris thinking about his kinda imprisonment, and then Lorelai is just having the time of her life.

He indulged her. He had to. And it was good for him too, to see the last stop before leaving Empire. Some kind of closure. One last goodbye.

I love Paris "having to" do stuff, it's delightful. Especially about Lorelai.

And love closure 👏👏 I know not always it's realistic to have one, but I really enjoy closure in whump.

It was a tundra. The frozen kind, though some stages were now in thaw. It was painfully beautiful. 

Ohhhh you didn't............ 😵‍💫

Only in the middle of the night, when they were already tangled in between each other’s limbs, did he realize the fever was upon him.

Own, Paris has a fever? Fucking god, he can't have one chapter of peace 🤣

“It’s my ship,” she said, the same way she ended all her arguments. “I could leave anytime I wanted. Why are you always trying to get rid of me?”

He desperately did not want to be rid of her. 

Then, as if reading his mind: “You give yourself way too much credit. I wanted this too.”

Well, Paris does actually give himself "too much credit" (I would say too much guilt). but that's to be expected after everything.

He wondered if he regretted it. Really, he regretted everything.

There we go. Love love love. Whumperflies.

If she was surprised by the change in topic, she didn’t show it. He suspected she wasn’t shocked at all. Delta was on the cusp of his thoughts, all the time.  Everything lead back to him. Lorelai raised one eyebrow at the new proclamation.

I need to say it.

👏HAUNTING👏THE👏FUCKING👏NARRATIVE👏

🗣AAAAAAAAAA

He didn’t mean to say that last part. Because he had killed Delta — and it had not felt kind. The ice felt colder beneath him as he went on.

Oh my fucking god, I need him metting face to face alive Delta so much, please, please, please, please.

I LOVE THE GUILT <333333

She barely reacted. He thought she might argue. Maybe he wanted her to. Maybe she saw another way out, some path that he didn’t. If he could do it all over, what would he change? Or would he always end up here — and Delta, dead on the ocean floor?

I'm......... AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

“They told me I needed to. It’s his conditioning. He needed to feel powerless, all the time, or he would stop working. I was fucking terrified of what would happen if I lost control of him, if I lost the only edge I had. I was scared of him. And I needed him.”

“I hated needing. I hated feeling like I was losing control. And that’s all I was doing, the entire time. Just losing control, constantly. Over everything. Over myself.”

THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING AAAAAAAAAA-

I'M KICKING MY FLWOWOWIRJDIAOQOKW GIGGLING

No words, just feelings. Fucking christ.

“I’m sorry, Lorelai. For everything.

I wish I could take it back.”

this is effectively the final chapter of Crash Out

paris and lorelai will return in Destroyer

I'M DYING WITH THIS OMG YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HANGING LIKE THIS-

-

Just a reblog and like isn't enough for the last chapter.

Here it is the super like, super kudos, super heart of "I really liked this"

Very very excited about what comes next (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

Crash Out - Love

(Content: fever, drug mention, bruises, discussions of past abuse, guilt)

He was in and out of sleep for a long time. He remained supervised. They didn’t trust him with as much rope as he could hang himself with. 

Vi had lied to him, essentially. Paris was a prisoner just as long as he was here. But, as she reminded him frequently, he could leave at any time. They’d give him his sword back at the door. They’d take it away at the next base they crashed into. 

Lorelai was in her element, though. She was one of them now, clear as day. There was a little medallion around her neck, the gold markings which he recognized as distinctly imperial.

“Did you scavenge that off a corpse?” he asked.

He had meant it as a joke.

He got the distinct sense that he had killed something beautiful. Like setting a butterfly on fire. Had she been changing all this time?

And yet she didn’t leave him. She changed all the time, but that didn’t. Over the border was still the goalpost. CTRL sheltered them at most stops. She’s their own now, of course she can stay. He offered what he could — intel when he had it, labor when he didn’t, when his body allowed him to. Sometimes he merely slept, looking sheepishly at the night guard for the time they were both wasting.

The border was a stone’s throw away and she wanted to make one last stop. 

He indulged her. He had to. And it was good for him too, to see the last stop before leaving Empire. Some kind of closure. One last goodbye.

It was a tundra. The frozen kind, though some stages were now in thaw. It was painfully beautiful. 

She had an eye for it more than he did. He’d have followed her up into the mountains and along the frozen stream, walked the whole length of tundra ten time over. Anything. Lorelai pulled winter weeds out from the ground to press into the journal she still carried. Small, living things dashed across the dead-land. Foxes and rabbits. Owls and swans. Living things, not so unlike them. Hot blood flowed through all of them, proof they still existed. Alive.

It was her idea to break into the cabin, which to him did not seem very altruistic, but he had no better ideas. Luckily enough, it was empty, seemingly abandoned for a time. They’d get better use of it.

Only in the middle of the night, when they were already tangled in between each other’s limbs, did he realize the fever was upon him.

A real one, this time. Not induced, not even dopesick. An honest to god fever.

Paris stood up blearily, feeling some of the heat recede when he’d detached from her body, but not much. It was still bright outside, something to do with the equinox. The sky was an odd, soft color. It was freezing out, which felt nice against his flushed skin. Lorelai groaned slightly from the bed. She wrapped the blanket tighter around herself before she shuffled over to the door. At that point, he’d already stepped out.

Paris was on his knees in the snow. He pressed some of it to his face, still appreciating the contrast between the cold and the burning. It felt nice. It was strange, the things that felt nice to him now. As the last dregs of the drugs cycled out from his body, he found pleasures unmuted in their absence.

“You okay?” she called from the doorway. She was barefoot by the entrance, where the carpet was still warm.

He nodded, though he probably wasn’t. The fever was cooking his brain. 

The blanket hung off her bare shoulder. He hadn’t seen it as well in the dark, but the bruises marked her skin just as much as the love bites. She’d been busy. She’d been through a lot.

“I’m sorry for dragging you out here,” he blurted out. He’d been meaning to say it for a while. 

“What?” She blinked. “I wanted to come. This was my idea.”

“But you didn’t know what you were getting into. I didn’t tell you anything. It was taking advantage.”

“Did you know?”

He shook his head

“I knew it would be bad. I didn’t know it would be like this.”

“It’s my ship,” she said, the same way she ended all her arguments. “I could leave anytime I wanted. Why are you always trying to get rid of me?”

He desperately did not want to be rid of her. 

“I don’t understand you.” he said. He couldn’t fathom the thought of anyone staying with him by choice. If he could’ve left himself behind, he would’ve. He’d have done it in a heartbeat.

“What part don’t you get?” she asked. It tickled him how annoyed she sounded then. Like her clarity was being taken for granted. 

Then, as if reading his mind: “You give yourself way too much credit. I wanted this too.”

“This?” he laughed.

“Not all of it. I never wanted you to get hurt, Paris. I just wanted us to get out. I didn’t know how hard it would fight to keep you.”

A pause. She said:

“I had fun, though. Is that horrible to say? I had fun. I don’t regret it.”

He wondered if he regretted it. Really, he regretted everything.

When he didn’t answer for a while, she sat down on the wooden steps. The blanket shielded her from the cold contact. She lit up a cigarette, holding it delicately between her lips.

Another pause. He said:

“…You know I couldn’t have let him go, right?”

If she was surprised by the change in topic, she didn’t show it. He suspected she wasn’t shocked at all. Delta was on the cusp of his thoughts, all the time.  Everything lead back to him. Lorelai raised one eyebrow at the new proclamation.

“I couldn’t just let him go,” Paris said, because he had been thinking a lot about it. “He was too dangerous. Nobody would ever let that kind of power live in peace. He would have always be wanted, always somebody’s captive. He never could have had a happy life. It’s not his fault. He didn’t do anything to deserve it. But its true. There was never any hope for him. The kindest thing to do would have been to kill him.”

He didn’t mean to say that last part. Because he had killed Delta — and it had not felt kind. The ice felt colder beneath him as he went on.

“I know I didn’t have to treat him the way I did. I’m not saying anything about that. But yeah. I never could’ve let him go.”

Clearly.

“I don’t know. That’s beside the point, now.”

She barely reacted. He thought she might argue. Maybe he wanted her to. Maybe she saw another way out, some path that he didn’t. If he could do it all over, what would he change? Or would he always end up here — and Delta, dead on the ocean floor?

“Why did you treat him like that?” Lorelai asked, leaning forward slightly onto her knees. “…You didn’t have to.”

It felt like being stabbed. But it was a miracle he’d even avoided the question for this long. She’d been patient with him, endlessly. He could afford to be honest. The fever would make it so, regardless.

“I was so angry,” he admitted.

“All the time. At everything. I couldn’t stand it. I hated my life and I hated myself. I still hate myself. The only reason I had to live was to try to keep empire running — and I didn’t even want that. It felt like the whole place was fucking diseased. There was this rot at the center of the machine. He was just the worst of all of it, the worst thing it had ever created. It wasn’t his fault. I know that, it wasn’t his fault.”

“They told me I needed to. It’s his conditioning. He needed to feel powerless, all the time, or he would stop working. I was fucking terrified of what would happen if I lost control of him, if I lost the only edge I had. I was scared of him. And I needed him.”

“I hated needing. I hated feeling like I was losing control. And that’s all I was doing, the entire time. Just losing control, constantly. Over everything. Over myself.”

“It just became a habit, after a while. It started with just…punishment. Then it was just because he was there. Because I could.”

He was acutely aware of how cruel the word punishment sounded in his mouth. He was aware of how absurd it was, without any of the false authority he’d once put behind it. Who had he thought that he was? He’d never had the right.

He forced himself to look up at her, scared as he was of what he’d find. The scars of his body ached in the cold.

“I’m sorry, Lorelai. For everything.

I wish I could take it back.”

~~~~~~~

this is effectively the final chapter of Crash Out

paris and lorelai will return in Destroyer

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @whump-queen @sir-fenris

[triglycercule]

so the dust smokes headcanon is really popular!!! i have an addition to it :33 cigarette smoke CLINGS to your body for a loooong loooong time,,,,, i don't know if monster dust has a smell but if it does maybe the cigarette smoke from his cigarettes could be used to cover up that smell so he doesn't have to deal with the scent of death all the time and yk,,,, feel the guilt :33

[ganondoodle]

kind of expected that the ability breakdown wouldnt get that much traction (especially on twitter bc if it doesnt do well in the first few hours it might as well be dead) but what i didnt need to wake up to was looking at my twitter notifications and thinking there was a long comment on it at first but then i read it and it turned out to be some guy having dug up one of my old totk tweets where i talked about how zelda was treated-

and if a quote retweet with a thread attached already starts with "this entitled brat didnt understand that zelda was being a history nerd by being in the past and getting to experience it herself" with two screenshots attached of the end of totk with zelda staring at the cam all uwu (which has ??? to do with their point??) i dont even want to know what else was in that thread

if thats how the majority of the fandom is then im even less surprised that nintendy doesnt even have to try to write anything good :I

ah yes, i am a game nerd, and by putting me in a game where i stand around doing puppy dog eyes while being shoved around by NPCs is me being a game nerd OBVIOSULY

[deus-ex-mona]

if the trope works, it ✨works✨ y’know~

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

[steelthroat]

I was thinking about the fact that it's very funny that my parents had more problems with me being atheist than with me being queer.

Like:

"Sure hon, you have a weird perception of your gender and you could possibly bring home women, men or everything in-between... fine, love is love we will take you to the pride and stuff ^w^. BUT WHAT ABOUT JESUS CHRIST HUH?????"

And when I say they had 'more problems' I mean they were like "ow... so you won't come to church on Sundays with us anymore? At least the holidays?🥺"

like idk it's so funny to me

[jrueships]

This is lowkey a stupid ass question but is your username jrue ships like different ships involving jrue or is it jrue’s hips 😭😭😭

yes !

[graveyarrdshift]

the older i get, the more i hate my family

[sysig]

Don’t let her fool you (Patreon)