#third is 9 by itself
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More food from over the years
#selfie#i can tell you something about every one of these#the sushi was like a spicy deluxe type. i bought it bc I had never seen that fancy packaging before#pictures 2 and 9 are both $5 schnitzel and chips. back when they were $5 not $7#god it's such a great deal. and it's so delicious#third pic is either Christmas or easter dinner. ham and potato salad and red salad#which is made with baked beans onion pickles sauerkraut potato and beetroot#it ties together really well#fourth pic is a satay chicken roll I got from a restaurant that closed down like a week later without warning#those are whole-ass peanuts btw. I remember this so well bc it was during my internship which was during my first year of tafe#the fifth picture is spicy ramen out if a packet. and when I say spicy I mean fucking SPICY#as in tears-streaming-down-my-face spicy#pic six is a steak my mum made me#the seventh picture is a mexican schnitzel. it's avocado sweet chilli sauce and cheese on top of a schnitzel and topped w jalapenos#the salad next to it is leafy greens with julienned carrots#picture eight is a pub schnitzel with just the richest gravy. so dark and savory and delicious bwaaaaah#picture ten is a takeaway schnitzel I got from a local pizza place/italian kitchen. it's notable because the schnitzel itself was bland#like it didn't taste like anything. it was bizarre#the dish on the left is called the [franchise name] hero. it's garlic bread topped with spicy salami and cheese
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do u have any hopes/ideas for what re9 might be or what u want it to be? personally i think they’ll stick with the bsaa plotline and pick up right after re8 but i really really want it to be a jill (or claire or both) led game. love chris but we’ve seen enough of him as a main recently. and idk if i’d actually want them to do it because it’s hard to believe capcom would do it well but it would be cool to use it as an opportunity to bring back some older side characters (sheva, carlos) and show us what leon’s been up to since 6/vendetta and kind of making it a the only people we can trust are people who have been through this shit with us kind of thing. idk. very rudimentary ideas. also i’m a little tired of the mold so i hope they go back to regular zombies/run with the reanimated corpses as soldiers thing they showed at the end of 8.
Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this! Needed time to like, sit down and think about it and type out my legit thoughts.
Anyway tbh I really hope they do pick up with the "BSAA is corrupt" plotline because that massive loose thread was basically taken out back and executed when it came to the Shadows of Rose DLC (probably because the people who made it had no idea what story they were meant to be continuing). I love Chris too and while I agree that we've had enough of this man already, imo he would be the best character to follow if this is the plot we're going with. Cuz for the BSAA who are actual notable (aka Marketable) characters we could follow?
Rebecca? Sure, but she's a doctor, and very much not an agent. Remember, this has to be a video game. Could potentially utilize her unfamiliarity with being an agent as an avenue for horror with her being thrust into survival, but idk
Jill? Yeah, I would love to see Jill again. But like, personally, Capcom has to tread VERY lightly about where Jill has been this whole time. Because (timeline-wise) it's been 12 years since her rescue, and we haven't heard shit despite massively important things going on in her world. I would love another Chris/Jill team up though for 9, kind of a return to familiarity
Sheva? Probably not, she's part of the African branch, isn't exactly in the picture. I love her, but Capcom doesn't seem to
Barry? He's not as recognizable imo, at least compared to the other og re characters like the main 4. I'd love to see him again, but idk, a LOT of people really really want Natalia to be a villain for some reason, and I feel like Barry being there might be a catalyst for that, and I really really don't want Natalia to be a villain
Hound Wolf Squad? Listen. Y'all know me, I LOVE these guys, HWS are my blorbos from 8 and I put way too much thought into them. If we were to pick up with the "BSAA is corrupt" plotline I do honestly think it should focus on Chris and his team. That being said, I don't think Capcom is going to do that given how much they were snubbed of any development or cohesive narrative in 8 and Shadows of Rose. I want it, it makes sense, but Capcom is stupid and I don't think they'll go in that direction
Bonus: Claire? I want so badly to see a Redfield team up again. It pains me that CV is all we have. And I think the leader of a humanitarian group would be a great foe for the corrupt military organization. I would love if they worked together, I miss it dearly
All that being said, I don't know if this is the plotline we'll follow. 8 was done as a cash grab imo, I can elaborate why I feel that way if y'all want, but basically, they don't (and honestly never really have) cared about themes and storytelling and being creative in a way that makes sense in the world that they built. They care about making money by scaring the player. That's it
#sid answers#sid bitches#anon#oh final thought#i am REALLY sick of the mold and hope they retire it but i don't think they will#7 8 9 is a trilogy. this series works in trilogies#1 2 3 is the tragedy of raccoon city#4 5 6 is the globalization of bioterrorism#7 8 9 is the mold and how it effects individual people trying to simply live their lives#not to mention stuff like the mechanics of these trilogies#first trilogy is tank controls second is third person over the shoulder third trilogy is first person#this series kinda separates itself into these trilogies in many regards#so yeah. i don't want mold but that's probably what we're going to get
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ALL THREE AT ONCE LETS GO
[I.D. three screenshots of the tags for asexual, aromantic and aroace all gradient highlighted and marked with the trending topic symbol. End I.D.] (thank you @lemondoddle for the id!!)
edit:
KEEP TAGGING THIS ‼️ the tags aren’t trending anymore so keep tagging it if you rb ‼️ (let’s make it to valentine’s day!)
edit 2:
asexual and aroace are trending again yall! but aromantic still isn’t trending so keep!! tagging!!
EDIT 3:
THEYRE ALL TRENDING AGAIN GOOD WORK YALL ITS NOT VALENTINE’S DAY IN MY TIMEZONE YET BUT HAPPY ARO/ACE/AROACE VALENTINES DAY WE DID IT ‼️ (still keep tagging though, don’t want to let them stop trending before valentine’s day is over) (or ever 👀)
edit 4:
i’m adding valentine’s day tag because. let’s invade that tag with this
EDIT 5 (and 6) (edit 6 is the image ids):
CAKE AND GARLIC BREAD FOR EVERYONE
[I.D. a beige-frosted one-tier espresso cake with caramel-colored drips on top along with nine swirls the same color as the rest of the cake around the top border. each swirl has a single espresso bean on top of it, and the cake itself has espresso beans surrounding it. End I.D.]
[I.D. half of a baguette in the form of garlic bread with a garnish of parsley or another garnish of that sort on top. the half is cut in six equal slices. in the top left corner, there are a few short ends of a plant sticking out, and the bottom right corner contains a section of the other half of garlic bread. End I.D.]
EDIT 7:
ITS VALENTINES DAY AND THEYRE STILL TRENDING HELL YEAHHHHHH
EDIT 8:
NUMBER THREE TRENDING?? TUMBLR IS THE BEST
[I.D. a screenshot of the tumblr trending tags list, showing third place as aromantic, trending with “#asexual” and “#aroace” in the same category. the background is a desaturated brownish-red, and the “3” is written in black text within a red circle. the rest of the text is white. End I.D.]
EDIT 9:
WERE MOVING UP ‼️ #2 ‼️
[I.D. a screenshot of the tumblr trending tags list, showing second place as aromantic, trending with “#asexual” and “#aroace” in the same category. the background is a desaturated yellow, and the “2” is written in black text within a yellow-orange circle. the rest of the text is white. End I.D.]
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Part 10: The Bridges Burned Around Us
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 11 - Part 12
Be good to me, and I'll be good to you (but please don't be too good to be true)
(In which an apologetic writer finally finishes a chapter that took much longer than necessary)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Fluff and Angst
Words: 10.2K (seems fitting for chapter 10 lol)
TW: Swearing
A/N: Hello my lovelies :) I am so incredibly late with this I know but considering it's really the length of two chapters, I think I should be forgiven. Despite how long this took me, I don't really know how I feel about this chapter because it's both filler but also pretty important so honestly it does feel a little all over the place. But I hope y'all like it anyways. I do suggest quickly skimming over Part 2 before you read this just to jog your memory a little bit. I did edit as I always do but there's probably typos/mistakes, so feel free to point those out. As always, let me know what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see in the future. Have a wonderful weekend my loves <3
May 2033
“What the hell Bueckers?” Coach yells, glaring daggers at Paige who has the audacity to at least look a little embarrassed as she reaches a hand to help the rookie she’d just knocked over with far too much unnecessary force. Azzi narrows her eyes at the scene, confused at Paige’s atypical behavior. It wasn’t uncommon for the vets to rib the rookies a little bit, hell they had a whole ragging initiation ceremony planned for this weekend to welcome the newest members of their team, but Paige seemed to have a personal vendetta against Angie Davis.
When they’d watched the draft together, Azzi could’ve seen sworn she’d seen a flash of uncomfortableness flicker in Paige’s eyes as the commissioner announced that the Valkyries, with their third pick acquired via Atlanta, were picking Angie Davis from Stanford University. The blonde had stiffened but only for a split second and Azzi had chalked it up to nothing because really, what beef could Paige possibly have with a 22 year old? Except clearly something was bothering the Minnesota native because this is the fifth time today itself that Paige has fouled the girl so hard that her body had almost slightly bounced as it hit the floor.
The first time, everyone had found it amusing because who didn’t laugh at a rookie getting a taste of the league. The second time, Coach had rolled her eyes but the rest of the team had still found it pretty funny. And then as it continued, Azzi could tell her teammates were just as confused by Paige’s behavior as she was. They might not know the blonde as well as Azzi did, but in the last month or so they’d discover that the basketball superstar was really just a ball of golden retriever energy. Since they’d started training camp recently, they’d seen that Paige always practiced hard but she also had the time of her life doing it. They’d seen that she might practically bulldoze her teammates in her eagerness to be a good defender but she’d always be the first one to help pick them up with a teasing grin on her face right after. Except apparently not with Angie. With Angie, there was nothing but brute force and the first couple of times, before Coach’s clear irritation had started to seep onto her face, Paige hadn’t even bothered helping the rookie up. And although Azzi would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that a part of her found this aggressive display of strength just a tad bit attractive, she also knew it was completely unlike her Paige to be acting like this.
“So,” she says softly, lowering her voice purposefully as she sidles up to Paige in the locker room after practice, “are we going to talk about it?”
“Talk about what?” there’s a smirk on Paige’s face as she takes a step closer towards Azzi.
The brunette narrows her eyes, “you know what.”
“What I know,” Paige whispers as she ghosts her hands across Azzi’s hips, keeping her movement innocuous as to not alert their other teammates who are engrossed in conversation not too far away from them, “is that I’m pretty sure you’re just looking for a way to get close to me.”
“You’re so fucking full of yourself,” but she can’t stop the faint blush that’s creeping up her cheeks as Paige’s hot breath fans across her face and her gaze shifts to the blonde’s sweat sheened biceps that are on fully display under her flimsy tank top.
Paige notices it immediately as her smirk widens, “appreciating the view baby?”
“Shut up,” Azzi shoves her back lightly, “don’t try and distract me.”
“‘I’m not even trying. I just have that effect on you,” Paige shrugs coyly as she pushes herself back into Azzi’s space.
The brunette’s eyes dart over to her teammate for a brief second, making sure the rest of them are still occupied with their own conversations as she takes her own step towards the blue-eyed woman, the edges of her lips turning up into a smug grin when she hears Paige’s breath hitch, “and what about the effect I have on you?”
There’s something thrilling about hiding this from their team, something sexy about having to keep their hands to themselves when they’re constantly desperate to touch. It was torture in a way, having Paige so close and not being able to kiss her or hold her. But that only meant that when Azzi did finally get to do all of those things, it felt like finally coming up for air; like after being deprived of her oxygen for so long, she could finally breathe.
Last time around, they’d kept it a secret from the world but everyone who meant something to them had known. Their old teammates for one. This time, especially since they hadn’t quite defined what this was, they’d chosen to keep it even closer to their chests. It had been Paige’s idea this time and Azzi thinks maybe she’d proposed it just to beat the brunette to the punch-maybe she’d even been a little disappointed by it- but she thinks that they probably do need a little more time; a little more time to trust that this time they wouldn’t go up in flames, that they wouldn’t burn everyone else around them.
“You don’t- you don’t have any effect on me,” Paige stutters.
“Is that right?” Azzi asks coyly, taking her shirt off at a ridiculous slow pace, enjoying the way blonde’s eyes are immediately drawn towards her toned abs, “none at all?”
“N-no,” Paige gulps as she watches the brunette finally get rid of the offending t-shirt and she’s left in nothing but a sports bra that does little to hide the curves underneath.
“Appreciating the view baby?” Azzi smirks, repeating the older woman’s words from before she slyly runs her index finger across the purplish red hues of a hickey Paige had left on her collarbone from the night before.
“You’re so-”
“Bueckers,” a loud voice interrupts Paige’s groan as the two of them spring apart, everyone in the room turning to look at their Coach leaning against the doorframe, “in my office. Now.”
It feels a little bit like they’re college students being reprimanded again but there’s this nagging intuition in Azzi’s gut, as she watched Paige sheepishly follow Coach into her office, that she’s missing out on some important information. Something churns in her stomach at the thought of it. Things had been near perfect so far; they were climbing back up to what they had been, maybe climbing their way to something better but Azzi thinks that if another gust of circumstance tries to shove them down again, they might not be able to get back up this time. Because this time, they’re not climbing alone. This time, they have Stephie and at the end of the day, she’s all that matters.
“So is Paige’s car broken or something?” Tessa’s question catches Azzi off guard as she shakes herself out of head and looks at her teammate with confusion.
“Uh no why?”
“I mean it’s just every time she shows up somewhere, it seems she’s in your car, with you. So I just figured something must be up with her car, why else would y’all be carpooling literally every single day unless-” there’s a sparkle in Tessa’s eyes as she leans casually against her locks, “unless there’s another reason?”
“What other reason could there be?” Azzi’s voice is unusually high-pitched as she avoids Tessa’s perceptive eyes and instead glares daggers at a spluttering Jana, “her car’s in the shop. That’s it. That’s definitely it. That’s the only reason I’m driving her around.”
“Aw that sucks,” Laila says with an oblivious empathetic smile, “I mean we could help out if that’s the case? With carpooling.”
“I don’t think-”
“What a lovely idea Phelia,” Tessa smirks and Azzi knows just by how guileful it is, that the former Gamecock is absolutely onto them, “what do you think Azzi? Maybe we can make a little chart for who drives Paige to practice huh? Be welcoming to our teammate?”
Resisting the urge to flip off both Tessa and Jana whose shoulders are shaking with laughter, Azzi settles on a sugary sweet smile instead, “I don’t think that’s necessary-”
“Oh we’d be happy to help,” Tessa chirps happily and Azzi’s suddenly wistful for the moment back in her senior year when she’d dropped the South Carolina guard for an easy layup.
“And that’s very kind of y’all but,” she reaches over to squeeze the younger girl’s shoulder tightly, making her grunt in discomfort, “I think Paige is okay. It just works better if it’s one person. Less complications, you know?”
“Won’t somebody please think about the complications,” Jana snickers.
“I’m so confused,” Laila says, a frown on her face as she looks weirdly at her teammates.
“It’s nothing,” Azzi says shrilly as she slings both her and Paige’s bags on her shoulders, rolling her eyes when both Jana and Tessa giggle at the domesticity of the action, “don’t worry about it, Phelia.”
“Y’all are acting strange,” Laila shrugs as she starts to make her way out of the locker room and Azzi’s rounds on the other two women.
“Whatever you think you know Tess,” Azzi raises a finger in warning, “keep it to yourself.”
Tessa makes a point to make a zipping motion across her lips as her eyes glimmer with mischief.
“Thank god,” Jana gasps dramatically, “I was so tired of having to deal with these two all by myself. Do you know how hard it is Tess? I’ve been doing it for YEARS.”
“You poor soul,” Tessa coos, “I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you. They’re kind of disgusting.”
“You peeped that already? Damn Azzi, do you realize how sickening y’all must be for Tessa to have already figured it out?”
“No forreal,” Tessa teases, “if you don’t want people catching onto your shit, I suggest y’all stop eyefucking every other second.”
“Fuck all the way off. Both of you,” Azzi grunts as Jana practically howls with laughter.
“You kiss your daughter with that mouth Fudd?”
“I dunno about Stephie,” Tessa drops her voice so only Jana and Azzi can hear her, “but I bet she kisses Paige with that mouth huh Az?”
Azzi groans, hiding her bright red face in her hands as her teammates' jovial laughter echoes through the locker room.
***
Paige is eerily quiet as she climbs into the passenger seat and Azzi knows immediately by the way she doesn’t try to coax her way into driving, that whatever conversation she’d had with Coach, likely hadn’t been a pleasant one. There are a thousand and one questions taking birth in her mind but Azzi doesn’t voice any of them, knowing Paige isn’t ready to answer them. Instead, she laces her fingers through Paige’s, resting them on the other girl's lap as she rubs a soothing circle against the back of her hand, a promise of whenever you’re ready to share, i’ll be ready to listen.
They’ve fallen into a routine of sorts, one driven by that fact Paige has practically moved into Azzi’s house at this point. Their day started with them dropping Stephie off at school before the two of them would go to training or practice or whatever basketball activities they had planned. Then, they’d go to pick up Stephie from school and Azzi would drop her and Paige off at Curry camp while she ran various errands before circling back to pick them up. It’s domestic as hell and there’s a part of Azzi that’s still a little fearful; perhaps they’re trying to fit the puzzle pieces of their separate lives into each other a little too quickly. But she thinks that maybe those puzzle pieces had never really been disconnected, because sometimes she thinks their existence might just be an extension of each other’s.
“You know,” Azzi begins softly when it becomes abundantly clear Paige isn’t going to speak first, “I’m okay with the fact that you’ve probably fucked other people. I mean other than the woman you married as well that is.”
“What the fuck?” Paige’s head whips towards her so quick, it must hurt just a little bit, “where the fuck did that come from?”
Azzi shrugs, “I’m just saying-”
“Why are you just saying?” Paige's eyes widen in panic as she possessively tightens her grip on the brunette’s hand, “are you about to tell me about someone you hooked up with? Because I’mma be honest Azzi I’d rather jump out of this moving car then hear about some whore who had the audacity-”
“Audacity? You do realize I was-”
“Say you were single and I actually will jump out of the car,” Paige warns, “but no actually dude what the fuck?”
“Well you see,” Azzi says carefully, “I’m trying to figure out why you’re being such a bitch to our new rookie and after careful deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s gotta be a hookup gone wrong because why the fuck else would Paige Bueckers, who has a hard time killing a spider, be so unnecessarily mean to this poor girl?”
There’s silence in the car for a second as Paige opens and closes her mouth, unable to get a word out, until she doubles over laughing, the sound of it echoing all around them. Azzi can’t help the soft grin that flitters across her face, relieved at seeing the way the tension begins to dissipate from the blonde’s shoulders. And Azzi swears that when Paige laughs, it feels a little bit like the sun has come out again; like the flowers are blooming and birds are chirping and everything is right in the world again and she thinks the sun should probably be jealous of the warmth Paige exudes because at least against the silhouette of Azzi’s sky, Paige burns brighter than the sun ever will.
“You-you think I fucked Angie?” Paige finally manages to splutter out between peals of laughs, “baby she’s barely 22.”
“Hey,” Azzi pouts, “you always did go for younger women. Like me for example.”
Paige narrows her eyes, “you’re literally one year younger than me.”
“One year and a couple of days,” Azzi corrects.
Rolling her eyes Paige uses both hands to hold Azzi’s non-driving one, “Azzi I swear to you that I have never in my life hooked up with Angie fucking Davis.”
“I know,” Azzi confesses, eyes still focused on the road ahead of her, “so what exactly is your problem with her then Paige?”
“You couldn’t have just asked me that?”
Azzi shrugs, “felt like I needed to make you laugh first. So tell me Bueckers-” before she can continue, she feels lips being pressed to her cheeks and can’t help the crimson tinge it elicits on her face, “what- what was that for?”
“Because you’re a little bit of a sap and I’m glad you’re my sap,” Paige grins, “all mine.”
“You’re trying to change the topic.”
“I am not.”
“Paige.”
The blonde sighs, leaning her head back against the headrest, “can we talk about it tonight? I wanna tell you I promise- I just- I think we need to sit down so that I- I can explain it to you properly.”
“That feels ominous,” Azzi’s stomach clenches at the seriousness in Paige’s voice as she turns onto the street for Stephie’s school, “should I be worried?”
“No,” Paige says firmly, bringing their enclosed hands to her mouth so she can brush a kiss across Azzi’s knuckles, “it’s nothing we can’t get through.”
Azzi nods as she pulls into the school parking lot, mustering up a reassuring smile of her own as she squeezes Paige’s hand. But there’s still a speck of fear dancing around in her gut; it’s this constant fear of losing Paige again that she doesn’t think she’ll ever truly be able to sweep out of her system. They’ve been doing so good these last few weeks -like they’re collecting together the scattered pages of everything we used to be and binding them back together with strings of all that we can become- but sometimes Azzi finds herself afraid that it might all just disappear, that a gust of wind might blow everything out of her hands all over again.
“HI MAMA. HI MISS BUECKS,” she’s shaken from her thoughts by the backdoor opening as Stephie barrels into the car, the happiness in her voice contagious as she leans over the console to kiss Azzi and then Paige, before hanging between them and tapping at her own cheeks. The two adults laugh as they simultaneously press their lips to the little girl's cheeks, causing her dimples to deepen as she giggles between them.
“How was school Stephie-bean?” Paige asks, peering over her own shoulder to make sure Stephie buckles herself in correctly as Azzi backs the car out.
Stephie scrunches up her nose is distaste, “it’s school Miss Buecks. It was so boring. Except for lunch. Lunch was great. I love lunch.”
“You’re so real Steph,” Paige nods seriously, “lunch is the best and school is so bor-”
“Paige!”
“C’mon Az, I’m not gonna lie to the kid.”
“Exactly Mama,” Stephie chimes in loyally from the backseat, “lying is bad.”
Azzi rolls her eyes as Paige twists her hand to hold it out for Stephie to high-five it from the backseat, “the two of you are insufferable.”
“What does that mean?” Stephie asks, tilting her head in confusion.
“It means we’re her most favorite people in the world,” Paige winks at the little girl as Azzi shakes her head fondly, choosing to keep the you’re more than that, you two are the reason my world keeps turning that tastes sugary sweet on the tip of her tongue to herself as she continues to drive.
“What do y’all want for dinner?” she asks instead, ready to make a mental note of ingredients she might need to pick up from the grocery store while Paige and Stephie are at Curry Camp.
“Actually,” there’s a slight nervous lilt to Paige’s voice and when Azzi looks over, she finds the older woman fidgeting anxiously with her thumbs, “I was thinking that maybe um- maybe y’all could come over to mine tonight? Maybe I can cook?”
They haven’t stayed at Paige’s since that first disastrous night. It hadn’t been on purpose per say; it was simply just easier to stay at Azzi’s, especially with Stephie to consider but perhaps a part of it had been subconscious self-preservation on the younger girl's part. Something about sleeping over at Paige’s feels more purposeful; like she’s fully letting herself step back into the other’s girl world and this time with the promise to not run away in the morning. It’s scary but when Azzi sees the hopeful look on Paige’s face as the blonde bites her lips, she thinks it’s worth it to take the leap; she’s ready for it.
“I think that would be nice,” she says with a soft smile, “I’ll pick up some clothes for Stephie while y’all are at camp.”
Paige beams and Azzi can tell she’s itching to lean over to grab her hand or kiss her touch her in any way but there’s still the little fact they still haven’t quite told Stephie anything about them yet that stops her from doing any of the above.
“What do you think of that Stephie bean? You wanna have a sleepover at my place tonight?” she redirects her attention to the little girl instead.
“YES PLEASE,” Stephie squeals, practically bouncing on her car seat before a frown crosses her forehead, “but um-” she hesitates, “you um- you can’t cook Miss Buecks.”
Azzi bursts into a laughter as an offended look clouds Paige’s face, “excuse me? I absolutely can cook.”
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie says, her condescension-filled tone as adult as she can make it be, “you burned my eggs three times this week and then Mama had to make them all over again and we were almost late for school,” the little girl smirks through her ramble, “but that’s okay because I don’t mind being late for school because like I said school is really boring.”
“Okay but what about the one time I didn’t burn the eggs?” Paige haughtily crosses her arms over chest, “have we all just forgotten about that?”
“Pretty sure they were a little undercooked and saltless that one time-OW,” Azzi’s snicker is cut off by a pinch to her stomach, “do you want me to crash the car woman?”
Paige ignores her, turning back to look at Stephie with a betrayed expression, “you said you liked them?”
“I didn’t want to hurt your feeling Miss Buecks,” the little girl wails and Azzi feels a mix of pride and love bloom in her heart at the kind soul she’s raised, “I’m sorry Miss Buecks but I just-” Stephie reaches as far as her seatbelt will allow to cup Paige’s hand in her tiny hands, “I really don’t think you should cook Miss Buecks.Please. I don’t wanna die yet. I’m too cute to die.”
“You know what Stephie bean,” Paige taps the little girl’s nose, “I think you might be even more of a drama queen than me-”
“Don’t sound so proud,” Azzi mutters under her breath.
“Shhh,” Paige chastises, never looking away from Stephie, “but alright sweetheart. I won’t cook. How about we order pizza?”
Stephie lets out a delighted cheer as Azzi grumbles, “more junk food? I swear to god Bueckers you’re completely ruining her diet.”
“On the contrary, I think I’m finally fixing it. You poor thing,” Paige coos at Stephie dramatically, “I bet your Mama was torturing you with nasty green things all day every day before me huh?”
“No no no Miss Buecks, veggies are good for you,” Stephie recites loyally and Azzi grins triumphantly at Paige.
“Oh dear Stephie you’ve been brainwashed-”
“Excuse me? Don’t try to corrupt my child out of her good habits.”
“I’m not corrupting her,” Paige defends as Azzi makes a left turn into the parking lot for Curry Camp, “I’m just teaching her the wonders of grease and oil and all the other fun things that adults lie are bad for you.”
“Paige you are an adult.”
“But a fun one,” Paige smirks, waggling her eyebrows at Stephie through the mirror as Azzi stops the car right outside the building, “right Stephie-bean?”
“The fun-est-est-est-est,” Stephie choruses back as she begins to unbuckle herself so she can latch onto her mother’s neck from behind. Paige takes the opportunity to climb out of the car so she can grab Stephie’s sports bag from where it’s kept in the trunk.
“You be good for Miss Buecks and Uncle Twin at camp today okay?” Azzi whispers to the little girl, “and I better hear that you made all your shots.”
Stephie scoffs, “you know I never miss Mama.”
“That’s my girl,” Azzi grins as she nuzzles her nose against the little girl’s before Paige opens the backdoor and Stephie unlatches herself from her mother, only so she can go barrelling into the older woman’s arms instead, “Stephie-bean you know you can walk.”
“But Mama,” Stephie whines, wrapping her hands tightly around Paige’s neck, “I’m too tired to walk-”
“Stephie,” Azzi sighs.
“You don’t mind carrying me, do you Miss Buecks?”
“Of course not,” Paige grins, “whatever you want sweetheart.”
Stephie looks pointedly at Azzi, “see Mama? Miss Buecks doesn’t mind.”
“Of course she doesn’t,” Azzi shakes her head, “alright off you two go. I’ll see you guys in a bit.”
“Bye Mama,” Stephie waves, “hurry back okay? We’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you guys too,” Azzi says warmly, blowing a kiss at both of them.
It’s uncanny how similar the two of them are, when both Stephie and Paige make a show of catching the kiss and bringing it to their heart before looking at each other and giggling over their own silliness. It makes Azzi’s heartache in the best way possible. And as she watches the two of them start walking up the stairs, Stephie rambling and Paige hanging onto every word, she thinks that as long as life gives her the two of them, she’ll never ask for anything else.
***
The first thing Azzi notices when she walks into the gym, arriving a little before camp finishes so she can say hi to her mentor, is Stephie sulking as she glares at Paige from the other side of the court. Confused, because it’s rare to see her daughter looking at the other woman with anything but pure adulation, Azzi follows the little girl’s line of sight to see what could possibly have upset her. A fond smile crosses her face as she sees Paige crowded by a bunch of children, all of them watching the superstar with wonder as she demonstrates her shooting technique. Paige swishes the ball into the basket and one would think she’d just scored the game-winning shot in the finals, by the way the gaggle of kids around her let out enthused cheers.
The blonde has always had this aura that draws people to her -Azzi would know; she’d been one of the first people to succumb to it (not that she’d put up much of a fight)- but there’s something different about the charisma Paige has with kids. Perhaps it’s because of her own childlike innocence that’s still intact despite her age, but it’s clear that the little ones adore her. Azzi watches as one of the little girls animatedly tries to mimic what Paige had just demonstrated, looking upset when the basketball barely touches the rim.
“I’m never gonna make a basket,” she hears the girl pout.
Paige ruffles the kid’s hair before lifting her up onto her lap, “of course you are. You just needed a little bit more height. Here try again,” she says as she urges the girl to shoot again now that she’s higher off the ground. This time the ball falls magnificently through the hoop and the child whoops.
“OH MY GOD COACH P I DID IT,” she squeals, hiding her face in Paige’s neck and while Azzi finds the whole thing quite adorable, when she looks over, she realizes that clearly Stephie is not nearly amused as she watches her daughter’s face transform into a scowl.
“Riley and Ryan used to make the same face any time I gave another little girl too much of my time,” Azzi grins as Steph appears by her side, the former Warriors guard bumping her shoulder as a sign of greeting, “I split the kids into groups, half with Paige and half with me. Kept Stephie with me cause you know I thought I was her favorite but she’s been glaring at all the kids with Paige this whole time.”
“She’s uh- she’s a little possessive,” Azzi chuckles, eyes still on her daughter who finally looks away from Paige, before angrily shooting the ball at the lowered basket in front of her.
“NICE SHOT TWIN NIECE,” Steph cheers as Stephie makes the shot, the little girl’s face unmoving as she gathers the ball back and gets ready to shoot again. Sometimes Azzi thinks, as she claps with pride, her daughter’s laser-focus attitude might rival her own. Maybe it’s a mother’s bias -she’d call it intuition- but she’s certain Stephie’s going to be a basketball phenomenon one day.
“That was so pretty Stephie-bean,” Paige is beaming as she approaches Stephie, the little girl from before holding her hand, “you think you can show Claudia here how you get that arc on it?”
“No thank you Coach Bueckers,” Stephie’s voice is perfectly polite as she makes a point to not look at the two people who’ve just entered her space, but Azzi catches the split second when her gaze shifts irritatedly to the way Claudia’s hanging off of Paige, “I’m a little busy right now. Maybe another time.”
“Oh she’s good,” Steph whistles lowly as Paige’s mouth falls open at not being referred to as Miss Buecks, “she’s gonna have Paige groveling after camp I bet. She’s gonna get whatever treat she wants.”
Azzi groans, “that is not a good thing. Do you know how much junk food she manipulates Paige into getting her?”
Steph laughs, “she spoils her huh?”
“You don’t know the half of it,” Azzi mutters but there’s a wistful grin on her face, “It’s part of why Stephie adores her so much cause she knows Paige would give her the world if she could.”
“I don’t think it’s just Stephie who adores her,” Steph bumps his shoulder against her and Azzi blanches at the knowing tone in his voice.
“That’s not- I mean- I don’t- I don’t know what you mean,” she stutters out.
Steph rolls his eyes goodnaturedly, “oh come off it Az. It was obvious when y’all were kids and it’s still obvious now.”
“When we were- you knew?”
“Of course I knew,” Steph scoffs, “I’ve been married for more than 20 years to the same girl I fell in love with at 15 years old Az, I know a thing or two about what love looks like. Of course I knew.”
“I’m just getting clocked left right and center today what the hell,” she grumbles but there’s a part of her that’s slightly relieved about the people around them slowly figuring it out. She thinks she should maybe be a little more embarrassed about how obvious they apparently are -have supposedly always been- but honestly she kind of loves that their love is so bright, that it’s impossible to not see it.
Love. The word sends a shiver through Azzi. It’s not a foreign feeling to her at all, especially not when it comes to Paige. If she’s honest with herself, it’s a feeling that has never left. She’d tried as hard as she could; shoving it underneath a rock of you’re not allowed to feel this way that weighed heavily against her chest. But it had always been there and as soon as Paige had waltzed her way back into Azzi’s life, the blonde seemed to have found a way to shovel it right back out. And that four-letter-word isn’t buried anymore; it’s right there on the tip of her tongue and every time Paige smiles at her -eyes crinkling with only for you-, Azzi’s this close to let it slip through her lips. She’s just waiting for the right time.
“Hey Stephie-bean can I fix your form a little bit,” her attention is drawn back to her surroundings as she watches Paige try to get Stephie to look at her again but her daughter is nothing if not stubborn.
“That’s okay. It’s almost time to go home and I’m sure Uncle Twin can help me with my form Coach Bueckers,” the little girl says contemptuously to a gobsmacked Paige before gesturing at Claudia, “how about you just keep helping her instead.”
“Sheesh that’s one petty kid you’ve got there Fudd,” Steph remarks before stepping to the front of the court and blowing his whistle, “alright y’all it’s 5 o’clock. Great job today! I hope you guys had a lot of fun and learned some good stuff and I’ll see y’all back here tomorrow!”
The former player diligently high-fives all the kids before they disperse towards their awaiting parents. Azzi can tell Stephie’s still irritated when the little girl barely hugs Steph, shaking herself out of her Uncle’s arms much quicker than she normally would as she all but stomps her way to her mother.
“Woah there Stephie-bean,” Azzi says gently, falling to her knees in front of her daughter, “what’s wrong?”
Stephie pouts miserably, “I’m mad at Miss Buecks. She’s been helping other kids this whole time.”
Azzi has to bite her lip to keep herself from smiling, amused by the child’s dramatics, “baby you know that’s Miss Buecks’s job right? She’s here to coach all the kids.”
If possible, Stephie’s frown deepens as she kicks her feet stubbornly, “she can coach them,” she says matter-of-factly, “but why does she have to carry them and give them hugs. She should only do that with me.”
“Stephie-”
“And camp is over now and she’s still with stupid Claudia,” Stephie whines as she uses her hand to turn Azzi’s face towards Paige, “see?”
The we don’t call people stupid lesson that she was just about to give her daughter dies on Azzi’s lips as her eyes fixate on where a stupid pretty young woman who she knows to be Claudia’s mother is staring up at Paige with a stupid flirty smile. Azzi has no idea what the blonde is saying, but she’s sure it can’t be that funny to make the woman tilt her head back in laughter, left hand reaching out to flick Paige’s bicep and lingering far longer than necessary.
“You know what Stephie-bean I think it’s time to home,” and really she feels just a little guilty with how she’s about to use her clearly upset daughter, “how about you go call Miss Buecks over.”
That’s all it takes to get Stephie running towards her and Azzi follows cautiously behind, only getting further irritated at how Claudia’s mother seems determined to step closer and closer to Paige and the clueless blonde does absolutely nothing to stop it, continuing to smile politely at the other woman.
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie comes to a halt in front of Paige, interrupting whatever conversation was going on as she practically forces herself in between the two women, “Mama says it’s time to go home.”
Despite the jealousy simmering her heart, Azzi can’t help that her heart skips a beat at the way Paige’s whole face brightens up at seeing Stephie; clearly relieved at the little girl using her nickname again.
“Give me one second sweetheart. I’m just a little busy talking to Claudia and her mother-”
“Mama,” Stephie says loudly, cutting Paige off as she turns to Azzi, “do you know if Aunty Chérie is in town?”
“Um- I- uh-” the brunette stutters, not having expected her little girl to bring that up as her gaze flickers towards a frozen Paige whose smile is completely gone, her body going rigid at the mention of Clémence.
“I was just thinking,” Stephie barrels on casually, “maybe we could go see her and she could give me cuddles and kisses since app-ently Miss Buecks is too busy to give them to me-”
The little girl cuts herself off with a squeal as she’s suddenly lifted off the ground and into Paige’s arms; the blonde peppering her lips against every inch of Stephie’s face.
“Never ever too busy for you and I’m especially never too busy to give you kisses Stephie-bean.”
“Promise,” Stephie holds out her pinky finger and Paige diligently intertwines her own through it, pressing a kiss to their now interlocked pinkies.
“Promise.”
Shaking her head fondly at her menace daughter’s antiques, Azzi fixes Claudia’s mother with a sweetly saccharine smile as she wraps a possessive hand around Paige’s bicep. She can feel the blonde’s eyes immediately drift towards her, clearly a little thrown off by her forwardness. It had been Azzi’s go-to-move in college whenever Paige’s fanclub would get a little too handsy. She’d sidle up into her girlfriend’s space, marking her territory as subtly as possible. Azzi knows this is a little different. It had been easier back then to play the action off as a protective best friend warding off boundary-less fans; really it was uncanny the things two girls could get away with under the guise of friendship. But it’s different now that they’re actual adults and she can see the clogs running Claudia’s mother’s head as she starts to piece everything together.
“Hi I don’t think we’ve properly met. I’m Stephie’s mom, Azzi, nice to meet you,” Azzi says finally, holding out her hand that isn’t still clasped firmly around Paige’s bicep, “I think it’s usually your husband who picks Claudia up from camp right?”
“I’m Stacie,” the woman says, primly returning the handshake, “yeah my husband’s usually the one who picks her up but I had a little time today-”
“Don’t lie Mommy. I heard you on the phone saying you wanted to come pick me up so you could meet Coach Bueckers-”
“Claudia,” Stacie hisses as Azzi narrows her eyes at the woman.
“You said it’s cause you think she’s really hot-” Claudia manages to get out before her mother furiously clamps her hand over her mouth.
“Azzi,” Paige whispers under her breath, wincing slightly as the shooting guard unconsciously tightens her grip, unable to keep the irritation of her face as she all but glares at Claudia’s mother.
“You know kids, they say anything,” Stacie tries to justify, cowering under the sintering heat of Azzi’s stare.
“Right,” the brunette nods with faux understanding, “well if you’ll excuse us, I think it’s time for us to go unless-” she turns her gaze onto Paige who looks innocently back at her as she hides a smile against Stephie’s stomach, “unless you’re still busy that is?”
Paige shakes her head affectionately as she tugs her arm out of Azzi’s grip, only so she can lock their pinkies together, the angle of it just out of Stephie’s line of sight, “never too busy for you,” she repeats, “let’s go.”
***
“Mama, will you tell Miss Buecks that I’m not speaking to her,” Stephie says as soon as the three of them get settled into the car.
“What,” Paige shrieks, twisting her head around to look at the little girl who decisively looks away, her tiny hands crossed over her chest.
“Stephie,” Azzi sighs exasperatedly, stretching her legs out in the passenger seat; Paige had insisted on driving this time and she hadn’t bothered fighting against it, “babes I thought you’d gotten over it? You were literally just talking to her.”
“That’s cause I forgot I was mad when Miss Buecks gave me my kisses but I rem-ber now,” Stephie explains.
“Remember what?” Paige asks frantically, “Stephie-bean what did I do?”
The little girl in question makes it a point to turn her nose up and look directly at Azzi as she answers, “Mama will you tell Miss Buecks that she knows what she did.”
“I really, really don’t. Stephie sweetheart please tell me so I can fix it,” Paige tries again, and Azzi lets herself marvel at how the normally jittery-woman seems to have endless patience for her little girl.
“YOU GAVE THE OTHER KIDS HIGH FIVES AND CUDDLES AND HUGS AND YOU EVEN LET CLAUDIA ONTO YOUR LAP,” Stephie bursts out emphatically, “you’re not supposed to do that with anyone but ME.”
“I-” Paige looks over helplessly at Azzi who holds her hands up in surrender, determined not to get in between the two of them and their dramatics.
“You didn’t even ask Uncle Twin to let me be on your team,” Stephie accuses and then like she’s suddenly remembered that she’d made a bold assertion a couple of minutes ago, “Mama could you please tell Miss Buecks that I said all of that.”
Azzi rolls her eyes, “I have a feeling she might have heard you.”
“Did you like the other kid’s hugs more than you like mine?” the little girl prods, her eyes suddenly glimmering with tears.
“Oh sweetheart of course not,” Paige consoles immediately, “I could never like anyone’s hugs more than yours, you know that. Your hugs are the best things in the whole wide world. And Stephie-bean, I thought you wanted to be with Uncle Twin, you said you missed him.”
“Wanted to be with you more,” Stephie pouts stubbornly, “I don’t wanna share my Miss Buecks with the other kids. I don’t want you to hug them or carry them and you definitely can’t give them kisses.”
“I didn’t even give any of them kisses,” Paige protests.
“Stephie, Miss Buecks is a person, not an object. She’s allowed to hug or carry or kiss-” Azzi tries to explain but is almost immediately interrupted by Stephie who gives her an unamused look.
“Well is she allowed to hug and carry and kiss Claudia’s Mama then?”
Azzi’s mouth falls open as Paige barely holds in her chuckle at the little girl’s cheeky question, “she absolutely is not allowed to do that.”
“Exactly,” there’s a satisfied grin on Stephie's face as she takes in the still dumbfounded expression on her mother’s face.
“I just- I meant the kids. She’s allowed to hug or carry or kiss the kids-”
“NO SHE’S NOT.”
“Okay, okay, okay,” Paige moves her hands up and down in a calming gesture before she reaches for Stephie hands, “how about this? From now on, I won’t carry any of the other kids and I definitely won’t give them any kisses. But can I at least give them one hug? Just one tiny little hug?”
Stephie ponders over the request for a second, “okay,” she agrees finally, “but only one hug and it can’t be longer than three seconds okay? And then you come and give me three of them right after?”
“Done. I’ll come give you five hugs right after,” Paige grins happily as the two of them shake on it before she turns back around to start driving them towards her house.
“Mama you can tell Miss Buecks that I’m speaking to her again,” Stephie smiles toothily at Azzi through the rearview mirror.
“Really?” Azzi responds sarcastically, “I couldn't have guessed.”
“You know,” Paige drops her voice so Stephie can’t hear them, “you’re being pretty sassy for someone who was just as irrationally jealous as a five year old a couple of minutes ago.”
“I was not jealous,” Azzi says indignantly, repeating herself when Paige’s smirk deepens, “I have no idea what you’re talking about Paige, I was absolutely not jealous.”
“Whatever you say baby,” Paige hums quietly as she turns the music up in the car, grinning at Stephie through the mirror when one of their new favorites comes on.
Azzi preemptively covers her ears as her soft “oh please don’t start singing-” is immediately drowned out by the two other people in the car beginning to sing at the top of their voices. They barely know the lyrics and they’re definitely not on key and really Azzi’s poor ears are bleeding, but as she’s coerced into reluctantly joining in, she thinks this could still be her favorite sound in the whole wide world.
They’re so enthralled in their cacophony -in each other- as they pull up to Paige’s house, that it takes them a far longer than it should to notice the figure on her porch. It isn’t until they’ve parked in the driveway, and Azzi’s gone around to grab her and Stephie’s overnight bag from the back while Paige lifts Stephie onto her shoulders, and they’re finally making their way up the three steps that lead to the deck, that they finally do.
All chatter comes to a halt as the boy -well that’s not quite right; not when he towers over Paige and Azzi as he stands up from where he’d been sitting on the lawn chair. It’s been almost four years since she’d last seen him in person and even then he’d been a fleeting face in the crowd. She’s seen plenty of his clips from the rookie year he’d just finished in the NBA but it isn’t the same as seeing him in the flesh now. So much has changed; the baby fat is gone from his face, he’s lankier and longer and there’s a discernible aura of confidence around him; as is expected from a 20 year old man. Yet, as Azzi lets her gaze wander over him, she sees what she’s always seen. She sees that same innocence, that same kindness, that same drive in his eyes that she’d always found reflected in his sister’s eyes too. She looks at him and she still sees a mini version of her Paige.
***
October 2022
“AZZI,” Drew screams as he runs across the arrival gate, his carry-on suitcase practically abandoned for the flight attendant with him to begrudgingly pick up.
“DREW,” Azzi’s smile widens as the little boy comes to a halt in front of her, his arms immediately wrapping around her waist, “oh my god you’ve gotten so much bigger little dude.”
Drew scrunches his nose up at her, “you literally saw me like a month ago.”
“And I think you might have doubled in size since,” she ruffles his hair before turning to the flight attendant who’s not so subtly checking her out, “thank you so much for getting him here safely.”
“Oh just doing my duty m’am, especially for a pretty lady like you,” the man says and Azzi winces at his dated flirting technique.
“This is Azzi,” Drew introduces, irritation seeping into his voice as he tightens his grip on Azzi’s waist, “you know how I told you I’m flying out for my sister’s birthday, this is my sister’s girlfriend and it was her idea to fly me out to surprise my sister. Because you know she’s her girlfriend.”
“Right,” the man grimaces and Azzi has to bite back the laugh threatening to escape as he hastily hands Drew’s suitcase over before barely managing a half-hearted grin, “I um- uh- well I should get back to the uh- plane or something. Tell your- tell your sister happy birthday.”
“Thanks again,” Azzi calls after the man as he all but runs away from them, shaking her head fondly down at Drew who’s giggling into her side.
“You think if I tell Paige he flirted with you, she’d get him fired?” he asks cheekily.
“There’s a nonzero chance that she’d at least try,” Azzi agrees as the two of them start making their way out of the airport and towards her car.
It’s a chilly fall morning and the sun has barely risen in the sky but Drew seems more awake than ever as he practically bounces into the passenger seat, clearly excited to see his sister who has no inkling that he’s coming. The idea had come to Azzi a week or so ago as she’d racked her head for ideas of what to do for Paige for her birthday. She’d done a good job putting up a front for the rest of their team -avidly cheering for them from the sidelines during practice- but Paige had been struggling these last couple of weeks. Azzi knows firsthand what it’s like to watch everyone else play the sport she loves while nursing her own injury and no matter how many i’m fine don’t worry about me spiels she got from her girlfriend, Azzi knew it was killing the point guard to not be out there with their team.
If she could, Azzi would have liked to have miraculously fixed Paige’s torn ACL as her birthday gift but that was wishful thinking. So instead she’d decided on cheering Paige up with the other thing she loved more than playing basketball: spending time with her baby brother. It didn't take that much convincing to get Bob Bueckers -who’d seen just how despondent his daughter had been those first couple of weeks in that gloomy hotel- to allow Drew to take the first half of this week off of school. From then on, the main difficulty had been keeping it a secret from Paige who seemed to have sixth sense for when something was going on behind her back. It didn’t help that Drew had come close to spilling the beans more than a handful of times. But they’d somehow managed it and this morning, Azzi had rolled out of her girlfriend’s arms much earlier than she would have liked to, ready to give Paige the day she deserved.
She glances at the clock. It’s almost 8 and Azzi knows that Paige is probably beginning to stir awake. She can almost picture the likely confusion on her girlfriend’s as she’d reach out for Azzi, only to find the spot next to her empty. As if on cue, the sound of a phone ringing vibrates around the car and Drew’s eyes light up at Paige��s name flashing on the media-board.
“Don’t say a word,” Azzi warns him as she picks up the call.
“WHAT THE HELL AZZI. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?” Paige’s irritated voice echoes throughout the car, “DO YOU KNOW HOW RUDE IT IS TO MAKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAKE UP ALONE IN THE MORNING? ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY?”
Despite Azzi’s warning, Drew snickers loud enough for the speakers to pick it up and the brunette fights the urge to hit her head against the steering wheel when Paige lets out a dramatic gasp.
“OH MY GOD ARE YOU WITH ANOTHER GIRL. ON MY BIRTHDAY?”
“No Paige I am not with another girl-”
“Well it sounds like there’s a girl with you.”
Drew opens his mouth to protest, clearly agitated with his voice potentially being mistaken for a girl’s but Azzi’s quicker, immediately clamping a hand over his mouth.
“I am not with-”
“Wait. Why did that voice sound so familiar?” Paige asks and Azzi can picture her scrunching her nose through the phone, “it can’t be any of the girls. I think I saw all of them in their apartments while I was looking for you but it sounds so-”
“It’s no one,” Azzi says hurriedly, “I’m just picking up something for your birthday.”
“I don’t want anything for my birthday,” Paige grumbles, “just wanted to wake up to my beautiful gorgeous girlfriend but no, you couldn’t just let me have that.”
A soft blush, tinted with hues of you make my imperfection feel perfect, creeps up Azzi’s cheeks as Drew teasingly waggles his eyebrows at her, “I promise I have something even better for you.”
“What could possibly be better than morning se-”
“Celebratory cuddles. Right yes what could be better than morning celebratory cuddles,” Azzi babbles, ignoring the weird look Drew gives her as she tries to prevent them from falling in the ditch her girlfriend is unknowingly about throw them into, “oh my won’t you look at that, that sign has all the reasons I shouldn’t try to talk and drive.”
“Baby what? Are you having a stroke. That’s not a thing-
“Oh it totally is and I really have to hang up. Love you baby, see you soon!’
“Azzi-” a loud beep rings through Paige’s protests as Azzi rushes to cut the call, slumping back in her seat with a sigh.
“Morning celebratory cuddles?” if she wasn’t so embarrassed she would laugh at the side-eye Drew shoots her, “y’all are so weird.”
“Watch it. I will send you back to Minnesota.”
“No you won't,” it’s uncanny how Drew has Paige’s exact smile as he goofily grins at her, “you love Paigey way too much to do that to me.”
Azzi rolls her eyes fondly, “yeah maybe just a little bit.”
There’s peaceful silence in the car for a while as Drew leans back in his seat, looking thoughtfully out the window. Azzi feels excitement bubble in her stomach in anticipation for Paige’s reaction to seeing her little brother. For as long as she’s known her girlfriend, she’s always known just how special Drew is to her; he’d been more a child to her than a brother and although it hasn’t been that long since Paige has seen him, Azzi could still hear the wistfulness in her voice every night she’d said good-bye to him on the phone. She feels giddy just knowing that seeing Drew again will put that earnest, loving smile she loves so much on Paige’s face. That smile, Azzi thinks, might just be the reason her world keeps turning.
“Hey Azzi?” Drew says slowly, “can I ask you something?”
“Course you can kid. You can ask me whatever you want,” Azzi reaches out to squeeze the little boy’s hand as he fidgets in his seat.
“Do you-” he hesitates, sucking in a deep breath, “do you think two people can stay together forever?”
Azzi’s taken aback by the gravity of the question, not having expected to deal with heavy-hitting ones like this so early in the morning. And really the truth is Azzi doesn’t know how to answer this question. It’s the kind of question her own brain conjures up sometimes and she has to distract herself from the way it makes her heart constrict because what if two people can’t stay together forever?
“That’s a heavy question,” she says finally, “where’s this coming from?”
Drew shrugs and his tone teeters on the edge of defensiveness when he answers, “just some things I think about sometimes.”
“I don’t know,” she says carefully, “I’d like to think some people can. I mean my parents have been together for a really long time and I’d like to think they’ll stay together forever.”
“How about you and Paigey?” Drew prods.
There’s an answer of yes that tastes like asphalt on the top of Azzi’s tongue and so much of her wants to spit it out and have that be the answer she gives Drew. But there are these uneasy shackles of uncertainty, of what if’s, of who knows what the future could do to us, that stops her. And she doesn’t know why she’s so scared of saying yes. Because if she’s honest with herself Azzi can’t really fathom a forever without her girlfriend; not when sometimes it feels like instead of a heart, it’s Paige that beats rhythmically against her ribcage.
“I really, really hope so,” she whispers.
“Azzi,” Drew’s voice is coated in sincerity and the brunette hums in response, “you won’t ever hurt my Paigey will you?”
And there it is again, the unpredictability of what could happen next that’s beginning to feel a little suffocating. She wants to give Drew a resounding no because Azzi would rather drive a dagger through her skin before letting Paige get so much as a paper cut but life is so fickle and she’s scared of making a promise she can’t keep. So she makes one that she swears she can.
“I promise that I will try my absolute best not to hurt your Paigey.”
***
May 2033
“Well,” Drew Bueckers sneers, his tone filled with contempt as he takes in the way Paige, Azzi and Stephie are practically wrapped into each other, don’t you guys just look so fucking cozy.”
There’s a sinister tension-filled quiet as the three adults -god it’s weird to include Drew as an adult but Azzi supposes that that’s what he is now- look between each other.
“Umm you owe me a kiss,” Stephie cuts into the silence.
“What?” Drew scrunches his face at the little girl.
“You said a bad word,” Stephie says matter-of-factly, “and Mama says whenever someone says a bad word around me, they have to give me a kiss. So Miss Buecks,” Drew's eyes narrow at the nickname as the little girl lightly taps Paige’s shoulder, “can you turn around and move closer so he can give me a kiss?”
“You don’t, you don’t have to do that-” Azzi tries to intervene.
“Yes he does Mama,” Stephie interupts her indignantly, “rules are rules right?’
“Stephie-”
“Rules are rules,” it’s Drew who cuts Azzi off this time, his previously stoic face morphing into something warmer as he takes a step closer to her daughter and presses his lips against her turned cheek, “there you go. Am I forgiven for saying a bad word now?”
Stephie grins up at him and Azzi feels a wave of this is how it always should have been pinching at her heart she watches the two of them.
“You’re forgiven but you have to promise not to do it again.”
“I don’t make promises like that kid,” there’s an unspoken accusation as Drew keeps up a smile towards Stephie but his eyes dart for the briefest second towards the two women around him, “but I promise I’ll try.”
“Okay,” Stephie accepts happily as she reaches over Paige’s shoulder to press her own lips against Drew’s cheek.
“What was that for?’ he asks a little dazedly.
Stephie shrugs, “because I think I’m gonna like you.”
“Drew,” Paige whispers finally, gently letting the little girl off of her shoulders, “what are you- what are you doing here?”
“What? A guy can’t just come visit his sister anymore?” there’s an unfamiliar hard edge to Drew’s voice -a stark contrast from how he’d been with Stephie- that makes Azzi flinch.
“Of course he can but I just- you didn’t- you didn’t tell me you were coming,” Paige presses.
“Well we've been talking about me coming down for a while but it just hasn’t happened and so I thought- I thought why not just come surprise you but-” Drew purses his lips as he gestures to the trio in front of him, “I think I might be the one who’s surprised.”
“Drew-”
“Actually you know what no,” he clenches his jaw, voice dripping with barely controlled anger, “I’m actually not surprised. Not surprised at all. Because really this- this is exactly what I should have expected from the two of you.”
“Maybe,” Azzi nibbles at her bottom, “maybe we should go-’
“NO,” both Stephie and Paige yell out in tandem as the little girl immediately clutches onto the blonde’s thighs.
“I don’t wanna go. Miss Buecks tell Mama I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’re staying right here with me,” Paige reassures the little girl as she turns her gaze back to Azzi, “you’re not going anywhere okay?”
“Paige-”
“I asked you to stay tonight and you’re going to stay. End of discussion,” Paige says firmly and Azzi lets out a reluctant sight.
“You asked her to stay? As in stay the night? Oh my god,” Drew scoffs maliciously.
“Drew,” there’s a warning tone in Paige’s voice as she deattaches herself from Stephie, keeping her voice low, “not right now okay?”
Her brother rolls his eyes, grunting out a “whatever,” but listening to his older sister like he always had and suddenly Azzi feels nostalgic for the little boy she had once known.
“You’re so tall,” she blurts out, grimacing slightly when he turns to her with a frown.
“Excuse me?”
“I mean I knew that. I’ve seen some of your highlights and I knew I mean- I knew you were taller and that you’ve gotten bigger and that you’d look stronger and all of that but I just-” Azzi gulps between her babbling, “you just- you look different Drew.”
There’s a shine of warmth in Drew’s gaze for a second but it flickers away faster than it had appeared and his eyes are cold with flecks of betrayal as he looks at Azzi, “that’s what happens as people get older isn’t it? I wouldn’t look so different to you if you’d been around to see me grow up.”
There’s venom laced in every word and Paige immediately opens her mouth to argue with him, but Azzi wraps a hand around her wrist to stop her. Because even if the words seep into her skin and infect it with bruises of guilt and regret, Azzi thinks she probably deserves them. She’d been in Drew’s world for so long and then one day, she just hadn’t been. She thinks he probably could have spewed something even more poisonous and she just might have deserved that too.
“Are you sleeping over too, Uncle Drew?” Stephie asks softly, unaffected by the tenseness of the adults around her.
“Uncle Drew?” Drew asks slowly.
Stephie nods with a grin, “Miss Buecks called you Drew and that’s when I figured it out. Mama and Miss Buecks have told me stories about you and there’s some pictures of you from when you were littler at Nana and Pop's house,” she rambles and Drew’s eyes soften at the idea of Stephie knowing of his existence, “ and just in case you don’t know who I am even though you should,” she gives him a pointed look as if everyone should know who the little girl is, “I’m Stephie. And you’re my Miss Buecks’s brother so that means you’re my Uncle Drew.”
“Right that um-” Drew clears his throats, “that makes sense Stephie.”
“So Uncle Drew, are you sleeping over too?”
“Yeah, yeah I guess I am.”
“YAY!” Stephie squeals as she laces her fingers through Drew and begins to pull him towards the front door, “so Uncle Drew what’s your favorite pizza topping?”
Something wonderful flutters in Azzi’s chest as she watches the two of them interact -it’s a little bit like seeing the past and present harmonically blend into one- but despite that, despite the reassurance that Paige squeezes against her hand, there’s an uneasiness lingering in the back of her mind. That wretched but familiar fear of the future weaves itself through her heart. Between the frostiness from Drew and whatever secret Paige is keeping from her, Azzi can’t help but wonder if these last couple of weeks had simply been a mirage. She can’t help but wonder if this bubble of happiness that they’ve built is about to be burst by a needle of circumstance again.
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My Roman Empire is how the life series writes itself. Here are some coincidences that I think about frequently:
1. Every person who has ever won a life series (Real Life included) was paired with another winner in Double Life (Grian & Scar, Scott & Pearl, Martyn & Cleo)
2. Several members had patterns in their deaths in Secret Life (All of Grian’s deaths happened while a large portion of the remaining server members were present, all of Scott’s deaths were arranged & he let whoever killed him kill him, all of Etho’s deaths were from Scar killing him, all of Jimmy’s deaths were from mobs of increasing strength (drowned, dragon & warden), all of Mumbo’s deaths were because of poor walking (walked off a ledge, walked into lava, walked into his own fence posts) & all of Martyn’s deaths happened in different dimensions)
3. Jimmy being out first 4 times in a row
4. Grian winning 3rd Life & then being dead last in the VR recreation of 3rd Life
5. Mumbo always having his final death moments after Jimmy’s final death
6. Pearl & Scar winning their seasons after being the underdog the entire season & having it the hardest
7. The first interaction Etho & Joel had in the entire life series was while they were in boats
8. Every time Scott is in the final two, whoever loses dies to a mob they didn’t know was behind them (Ren in Last Life, Scott in Real Life)
9. Jimmy always cursing at least one of his allies to do horribly each season (3rd Life was Scott’s lowest placement ever, 10th. Last Life: both Mumbo & Impulse were in the bottom 4. Double Life: Tango played poorly and was responsible for 2/3 of their deaths. Limited Life, Joel was out third & The Bad Boys died A LOT. Secret Life: Martyn was the first yellow AND the first red despite literally winning the previous season. EVEN REAL LIFE, Jimmy teamed with Grian, Joel, Scar & Impulse, who were the first 4 to be eliminated.)
10. Since Double Life, Pearl has wanted her allies to win the current seasons, she has outlived all of her main allies every season since then (Big B in Limited Life & Mumbo, BDubs & Joel in Secret Life)
11. Joel literally & metaphorically being the reason Lizzie was the first one out instead of Jimmy in Secret Life (Lizzie only died because she was trying to kill Scott to help out with Joel’s assassin task, by the time she tried to kill him & died in the process, Joel had already failed his task & just hadn’t told her yet, so if he had told her that he had failed, she wouldn’t have taken Scott to the end & fallen into the void & Jimmy probably would’ve first out again. Also when they were hosting an early funeral for Jimmy, Joel opened the grave & told Jimmy to “Rise”, I think this was Joel unknowingly breaking the curse.)
12. The fact that Gem’s final death is always her coming 3rd & dying in a 2v1 situation.
13. Joel’s first death in Last Life was fall damage, his first death in Secret Life was also fall damage. The reason Joel ended up on red life in Last Life was because of the Boogeyman curse (both times), in Secret Life, he because red because of being killed by a Boogeyman. In Last Life Joel’s final death was at the hands of Scott, causing him to place 5th, in Secret Life, Joel’s final death was being killed by Scott, causing him to place 5th. I’m leaving out one of Joel’s Last Life deaths, specifically when he died to Mumbo in self defence, but that’s mostly cuz there are more deaths in Last Life than Secret Life
This isn’t even all of them, there are so many more!
#seriously this shit is writing itself#I think about this all the time how is it not scripted#trafficblr#traffic smp#life series#grian#smallishbeans#goodtimeswithscar#solidaritygaming#dangthatsalongname#rendog#inthelittlewood#skizzleman#bigbst4tz2#zombiecleo#bdoubleo100#impulsesv#ethoslab#tangotek#pearlescentmoon#mumbo jumbo#ldshadowlady#geminitay#3rd life#last life#double life#limited life#secret life#real life
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★ KISS MY WOUNDS ★
☆ choi san x male reader
꩜ .ᐟ fluff
contents: playful!san, boxing, boxing match, locker room, kissing, kissing hands / arms, thigh grabbing, sitting on lap, pet names (baby), teasing
wc: 1.3k
summary: san asks his boyfriend to kiss his swollen knuckles after winning yet another boxing match.
a/n — this is literally like my first time writing a fic yall omfg!!! feedback is heavily appreciated, i’d really love opinions and thoughts on this. please spare me if this is complete trash >.< i’m still getting used to this and learning as i go along <33!!
♡︎♡︎♡︎ likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated ♡︎♡︎♡︎
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“8…9…10.”
and with the ring of the bell, the match that felt like it could’ve lasted a lifetime was finally declared over.
san was notorious for his opponents never passing anything but the second round, but today was different.
“and there we have it, ladies and gentlemen. referee kim hongjoong has called a stop to this contest at 3 minutes and 30 seconds into the third round, declaring the winner by knockout. choi san!”
despite his body physically feeling drained, san raised his arms to revel in that joyous feeling of being the winner, to have defeated the obstacle in his path to complete stardom—his opponent. in the crowd was y/n, wearing what seemed to be both a look of concern and frustration.
when san’s gaze fixed upon y/n, he recognized that look—the look he’d seen more times than he could count. for a second, san’s mind jumped to the countless times he’s had to reassure y/n, and it looked like today was going to be the same.
san wanted nothing more than to run over to y/n, exhausted body and all, but he knew right now wasn’t the time.
so, following protocol, san dropped his arms to his side and sauntered over to the ringside, where the medical staff could tend to his injuries and check for any signs of more serious damage. luckily, his opponent hadn’t caused any major damage; all he had were swollen knuckles and a slightly bruised left rib from where his opponent had gotten the better of him.
but that doesn’t take away from the fact that his opponent had more energy than the sun itself, an absolutely little firecracker that wouldn't go down. the crowd’s energy was still at its peak, but it was expected given the performance that san had just put on.
his eyes never left y/n’s, not even for a split second, even with the medical staff gently placing an ice pack on his slightly bruised ribs or with his coach practically drowning him in praise and awe. no, his eyes were on his beloved, the only person he cared about in this venue right now.
“locker room, meet me there in 10,” san mouthed, his eyes filled with nothing but love as he waited for y/n to respond.
y/n had responded with a simple nod, a smirk playing on the corner of san’s as he anticipated the moment of finally being with y/n. he’s been craving his boyfriend ever since y/n gave him his ritual good luck kiss earlier.
oh, y/n’s kisses felt like heaven for san; they felt like home. he could still taste the lingering scent of pineapple mint that radiated from y/n’s lip balm, a taste he had grown very fond of.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
once the medical staff had finished tending to his needs and had given him a thumbs up, san practically bolted to his locker room, and with the thought of y/n in his mind, it gave him an adrenaline rush like no other. there was also the fact that during the checkup, it gave him more than enough time to sit back and take a much-needed rest, giving him the respawn he needed for his time alone with y/n.
with the swing of his locker room door, san was only faced with nothing but an empty locker room. it was okay, though. given the number of people in the venue, he could only imagine the struggle to escape, from the wild fans to the mess on the floor from disposable cups and spilled food. he had expected for y/n to arrive a bit late.
he took the time to sit down on the locker room’s bench, purposefully choosing to position himself where his eyes could lock on the door, just waiting for y/n to arrive.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
the door to his locker room had finally swung open, and there was y/n walking in with that same concerned look. god, he looks so beautiful, san thought to himself.
“are you hurt?” y/n asked, rushing over to where san was seated, the shakiness in his voice showcasing just how concerned he was.
before san could even get an answer in, y/n had cut him off.
“what did the medical staff say? i want to know everything.” his eyes were boring into san, but all san could see was the amount of love y/n harbored for him, and the feeling was more than mutual.
“calm down, baby,” he said, his voice nothing but a soft and reassuring tone.
“i’m fine. just swollen knuckles, and my rib is bruised slightly, but nothing a little ice pack couldn’t take care of. there’s seriously nothing major.” san wrapped his arm around y/n’s waist, bringing him in even closer and sitting him down on his knee.
“really? are they sure? that fight looked... rough. y/n comfortably sat on san’s knee, his eyes still boring into san as he tried to search for any signs of discomfort or dishonesty plastered on his face, but was met with nothing.
“yes, baby, the medical staff team knows what they're doing. i wouldn't be sitting here with you right now if I wasn't okay.”
“but... my knuckles do hurt a bit. there is something I need—something that i desperately need, baby. and you're the only person who can give it to me.”
“what is it?” y/n had practically jumped out of san’s thigh, ready to get him whatever it is that he desperately needs.
a smirk played on the corner of san’s lips; this was exactly the moment he'd been waiting for.
“kisses.”
“kisses…?” y/n repeated, a small frown appearing on his face as if san had just asked for the impossible.
“yeah, kisses. kisses from my beautiful boyfriend. am I asking for too much?” san asked, his voice taking on a teasing tone.
a blush slightly creeped up on y/n’s face. “no, I just thought that you were going to ask for something, you know… serious.”
“but this is serious, baby!” san protested, his voice now a soft whine. his duality, from one minute being teasing and cocky to whiny and pouty, was seriously impressive, almost scarily impressive.
“look.” san held up his hands for y/n to see, showing his red-swollen knuckles. “don’t i deserve some tlc?" i just fought my ass off out there.”
y/n couldn't resist that soft, whiny voice—not now, not ever. it was as if a siren’s song had pulled him in.
the blush on y/n’s face deepened.
“okay, okay.”
y/n softly took san’s hands into his, bringing his hands up closer to his lips and tenderly planting kisses on the swollen knuckles. all the while, he kept eye contact with san.
san let out a soft sigh at the feeling of y/n’s lips on his skin. it felt like he was floating in the clouds with every kiss. y/n’s kisses were so soft and so loving. so… so… san couldn't even think; all he could do was just revel in the way y/n kissed his swollen knuckles.
“this is the best kind of pain relief anybody could ever ask for. kisses from my baby, ” he purred, closing his eyes and leaning back on the bench, the back of his head back against the lockers, as y/n kissed up his hands, going from the back of his hands to his wrists, even working his way slowly up his bare arm. the feint taste of sweat and musk lingering on y/n’s lips.
“you’re so cheesy,” y/n said, a slight chuckle escaping from his lips as he gave san’s arm one last kiss, directly on his bicep.
san opened his eyes and watched as y/n now made his way up from his bicep to just inches away from his lips. his mouth suddenly got dry, his tongue darting out to wetten his lips.
“yeah, I am. but you know you love me for it, baby,” he said confidently, closing his eyes again and pressing his lips against y/n’s in an affectionate and soft kiss.
y/n eagerly returned the kiss, moving his lips to match san’s rhythm, letting his body loosen up as he felt san’s calloused hands gripping onto his thighs and pulling him down onto his lap.
“yeah, I do.”
#— hynzsn’s fics 💌#kpop x male reader#ateez x male reader#male reader#ateez x y/n#ateez#ateez fic#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader#choi san x reader#choi san#san x y/n#san x reader#my first fic#first fic#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#san imagines#ateez fluff#san fluff
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Make A Move (Pt. 4)
footballplayer!Sukuna x fem!reader
genre: slow-burn romance, college au, fluff, angst
warnings: none so far
word count: 3.7k
(-> Pt. 1) (-> Pt. 2) (-> Pt. 3) (-> masterlist)
The stadium was loud and full, the spotlights lit up the field and many cheers could be heard, most of them were for Sukuna. The noise was truly overwhelming, and the crowded stands made it difficult for you latecomers to get a seat. The tension was palpable throughout the field as the players gathered on it and briefly addressed the public. Maroon eyes scanned the faces of the spectators, but were unsuccessful in their attempt to find what they were looking for.
Because you, Utahime and Shoko, were still walking between the people to reach the small space that was left and would have to be enough for you. Of course, you didn't know that your university's star player was looking out for you.
The space was very tight, but the atmosphere was infectious when your team's quarterback, none other than Ryomen Sukuna in his truest form, gained the upper hand in the first quarter with a clever passing touchdown to Yuji, the running back. Sukuna's number was, as expected, the number 9. The majority of the fans present cheered him on, even some students from the other university. That's how popular Sukuna was. His skills were widespread and you slowly began to understand why.
You didn't know much about football, but when the game reached its second quarter and you noticed how confident and secure Sukuna was in his own skin and how the people in the stadium reacted to his playing style, you slowly began to get a broader picture. Of course, the comments on the game were also a great help in understanding it. Aoi, the wide receiver of your offense team, as you learned, had just caught a sharp 25-yard pass from Sukuna and was thus close to the end zone. He runs towards it, the defense team of the opposing team trying to stop him, but in vain: Aoi Todo gets into the end zone and scores another touchdown thanks to Sukuna's pass!
The crowd is screaming and the ground feels like it's shaking. The kicker scores an extra point, but before halftime is reached, the opposing team also scores a touchdown plus extra point and a field goal by kicking the ball through the goal. You look at Sukuna on the bench, who is talking to the coach. He's a bit sweaty, but you watch as he keeps an overview and at the same time raises his bottle to his mouth to drink some water. He doesn't look like it at first glance, but he's focused on analyzing what's happening. Nevertheless, he seems pretty calm about the situation.
14-10. It's halftime now.
The cheerleaders come out onto the field and entertain the masses. After their performance, 20 minutes have already passed, the teams come back onto the field. The second half begins. While the players run across the field, Sukuna takes the opportunity to search the stands again. And this time he succeeds: the moment his eyes meet yours, a big grin spreads on his face. He raises his head in satisfaction, winks at you as he walks, then puts on his helmet, stops for the kickoff, and is back to concentrating on the game in no time.
You weren't sure if you saw correctly, but this little attention didn't go unnoticed by your friends, who directly took the opportunity to teased you about it. You couldn't suppress a slight smile.
The third quarter is similar, this time your eyes are more focused on Sukuna than on the game itself, as they had just before. Now that you have understood a little bit of what football is about, you can devote yourself to him in detail. And he wasn't disappointing, he is precise in every step and you can practically feel how engrossed he is in the game. He watches the defense closely and then decides to pass to the tight end, as the commentator calls him.
A man named Choso, you haven't noticed him before, catches the ball and passes it right back to Yuji - a risky move to deceive the opposing defense. If it isn't caught, the team loses the ball. But it works: Yuji catches the ball and runs straight to the end zone! And touchdown!!!
You've already lost sight of Sukuna when the kicker came back on the field and scored another extra point. The offense celebrates as the defense comes back, but in the end the score is 21:17, because the opposing team didn't sit idle either. You once again didn't notice Sukuna staring at you while he sat on the bench, too engulfed in the game yourself.
Fourth quarter - the last one. You watch Sukuna again when he's on the field. His shoulders look broad in his gear, the 9 a little covered in dirt and earth by now. He turned to you, cocking his head into the direction of the end zone in a way that told you to pay attention now. You were confused but decided not to lose sight of him this time and as if he was reading your thoughts, he made this task easier for you. Because as soon as he has the ball, he runs towards the end zone himself. He is really fast, his athletic performance is outstanding as he gets rid of the other team's defense and scores the decisive touchdown. Without hesitation, he faces the stands and points directly at...you, an overjoyed smile on his face. In that moment, you remembered his words:
"Keep a lookout for number 9, he'll score the winning goal."
And he was right. And how right he was. The crowd screamed and cheered and celebrated like crazy and didn't notice that Sukuna wasn't pointing at them, but at you specifically. And that made it even better, because that way it was your little secret. Your heart leapt within you at that thought. Nobody knew who Sukuna was really directing his gesture at, except your two clever friends who were stabbing their elbows in your sides in knowledge.
The players rejoiced in their teams success. The atmosphere was phenomenal, you have rarely felt such solidarity. The teams and fans were very respectful to each other, the evening a complete success. You were in a party mood yourself and you could even tell Shoko and Utahime next to you were feeling the same. Who would've thought football could be so enjoyable!
You were just on your way to leave the bleachers when Sukuna suddenly stood in front of them and therefore in front of you.
"You came." he stated.
"I promised." Sukuna grinned victoriously. You didn't know if it was because of the win in the game or because of the victory that he got you to come.
But before you could exchange any more words, the people behind you pushed through and forced you to keep walking. Sukuna quickly grabbed your arm and pulled you back so that you didn't get away from him. The people seemed to respect him so much that they no longer walked against you, but instead past you.
"There's a party tonight. Are you coming?"
"A party? Where?" But Sukuna just grinned.
"Meet me here in 10."
And with that he let you go and disappeared.
After minutes of waiting - Shoko and Utahime, who you briefly lost in the crowd, of course found you again and stayed with you - Sukuna finally came out of the locker room and headed towards you. He greeted you all and then told you about the frat party that was taking place. Yuji and Aoi also lived in the fraternity, but it was the non-players who planned and organized the party. Since you were playing against a college in your city, luckily it wouldn't take you long to get there.
"So, what are you saying? You coming?" he finally asked.
"We would love to! But we have to know the address since we have to get an uber."
Then the other players came out. Aoi greeted Utahime before he was interrupted by Sukuna.
"Hey, Aoi!" he called. "Can you take the girls with you?" he asked his friend.
"I can but I only have 2 seats left. I'm already taking Yuji and Choso with me."
Sukuna grinned cheekily.
"That's fine," he started and then turned to you, "you're coming with me then."
You tried to object and explained that you could just take an Uber, but neither Sukuna nor Aoi accepted your objection.
Shoko and Utahime took you aside for a moment to make sure you were okay with it and you calmed their worries. You all came to the same conclusion: it would be a good way to save your money after all.
You exchanged your locations with each other - just in case - but before they left, they gave Sukuna a dark look, a look that said "Don't try anything!"
When they got into Aoi's car, you were in the parking lot next to them on Sukuna's motorcycle. He gave you his helmet again. When Sukuna was almost driving off, Utahime spoke again
"Drive carefully," she looked at Sukuna, then turned her gaze to you, "we'll see you there." And so you drove off first, while Aoi was still waiting for Choso.
The streets were largely empty, after all it was almost half past ten at night. The temperatures were also cooler and thus your hands were a little cold. You tried to press them against Sukuna's clothes a little to get some of his warmth, but your attempt didn't go unnoticed by him.
"You okay back there?" he asked you sincerely.
"Yes, it's just...my hands are a little cold. I'm sorry."
He just laughed.
"What are you sorry for?"
He briefly took your hand in his - just the touch made you feel a little warmer - and placed it in the pocket of his jacket.
When he unbalanced your hold on him with this action, you were briefly afraid of falling, but Sukuna's grip was strong enough to prevent you from it.
"Whoops, don't fall for me yet." was what he said, poking fun at the little gasp that left you.
"Yours are just as cold!" you responded then, while he did the same with your other hand.
He laughed again.
"Are they? I guess I'm used to it already. Keep them here until we're there." he patted over his pockets before putting his hand back on the steering wheel.
"Is that really okay for you?" you questioned then, a blush decorating your face.
"No, put them out again." he joked and you wanted to slap him for that.
"Of course it is, I'd never complain about your hands on me." he smiled to himself.
"I wish you could see me rolling my eyes right now."
"I can imagine it pretty well." he replied, sneering at your comment. "But I mean it, keep them in there, I'll be your personal heater."
This statement made your heart beat faster again and you became quieter, your voice barely audible.
"Thank you..."
"Anytime, princess."
Then there was a brief silence.
"You don't often go out at night, do you?" That question startled you a little.
"Uh, no, not really. I mean, with friends, sometimes. It's not always safe as a woman though."
That saddened Sukuna. He knew the dangers of society, especially for women, but he couldn't imagine not being able to go out at night to clear his head. He thought about it and then came up with a specific question.
"So you've never seen the Rainbow Bridge at night?"
"Only from a distance. After all, it's far from home."
"I see. That's all I need to know." And with that, he turned right at the next traffic light, in the completely opposite direction to where you actually had to go. His words confused you, but of course you didn't know anything about his plan, you were completely clueless when it came to orientation in this big city.
About fifteen minutes later, you spotted the large, brightly lit Rainbow Bridge right in front of you. It didn't take long and you were driving over the colorful giant, fast and almost alone on it.
You couldn't believe your eyes, you just stared up at the huge bridge and the shining city behind it. A feeling of freedom came over you and in the middle of the bridge, Sukuna stopped and got off.
"Come on, you have to see the view from here." With these words, he offered you his hand and helped you to get off too. Then he led you to the edge of the bridge and left you to enjoy the breathtaking view.
From there you could see almost the entire city, see the many glowing skyscrapers, in which people were living or working. And the water beneath you reflected these lights and shone almost golden.
You were amazed, a gentle "Wow" slipping from your lips and you turned to Sukuna, whose smiling gaze was already on you.
"It's beautiful, really. But don't we have to get going?"
"We took the wrong way anyway, so take the time to enjoy it."
"Did we really?"
"You didn't notice?" he laughed and came closer to you.
"If you want, we can stay here." he suggested, which truly surprised you.
"And miss the party in your honor? Where has the arrogant Sukuna gone, isn't football your passion?" you teased.
"I have other passions too, you know." he said in all seriousness as he came a little closer to you again, his gaze now fixed on your lips.
Then he parted his slightly and your heart sank when his head moved forward. The tension between you was so intense that it could only be banished by a collision of your mouths, but before your lips could even meet, your phone rang. You immediately pulled away from each other, an awkward mood hanging over you. You answered. It was Shoko.
"Yo, are you okay? Where are you, we just arrived."
And after you told her about your little trip, Utahime was almost bursting with worry next to her, you finally drove to the party.
When you got there, your friends ran up to you and scolded you.
"Do you know how worried I was when I saw your location in the middle of nowhere???" Utahime screamed.
"I'm sorry, I really am-" you wanted to continue, but Sukuna interrupted you.
"It's not her fault, I was the driver." he voiced and Utahime looked at him disapprovingly.
"You didn't try something funny with her, did you? Did he?" She turned to you then.
"No, really, everything is fine. More than fine."
And when they saw you smiling like that, they knew everything was alright. Sukuna excused himself and ran into the scene, you could hear all kinds of people shouting for him and asking where he's been.
It had been over an hour since you left and in that one hour Sukuna managed to confuse you severely and utterly. What would have happened if Shoko hadn't called? Would you have really kissed? Or was that not his intention? Was it yours?
Whatever it was, you had to nip it in the bud with alcohol. No way you were catching feelings for the all too well known heartbreaker. You and the girls made your way to the kitchen, where you then mixed yourselves some drinks.
After this drink and another, you were on the best way to get drunk and so you stormed into the large hall. The music was loud and you didn't know most of the people here, but none of that bothered you in your drunken state.
You started dancing and from a distance you saw a girl next to Sukuna. You recognized her, it was one of the cheerleaders who had performed today. She was still wearing her cheerleader outfit and was obviously making eyes at Sukuna. You watched as other girls around looked at them in jealousy because they probably wanted to be in her place. Then you saw him smile at that girl and that fact was enough to wake you up again.
Sometimes you forget what a reputation Sukuna has and how popular he actually is. But every time there is something that reminds you that you would be better off avoiding him. In moments like that you feel like he is a stranger to you, which he technically was, even though he was so approachable just an hour ago.
But before you could watch any further, a black-haired guy came up to you and asked you for your name. He introduced himself as Tadashi and was one of the guys who lived here. You talked for a while and every now and then you looked over at Sukuna, but he never seemed to look back. He was still talking to the pretty blonde and you wondered if they were often seen together.
It was probably the alcohol that gave you the courage you needed to ask Tadashi about it. After all, he lived under the same roof as the football players.
"Hey, is that Sukuna's girlfriend over there?" you asked, pretending to be oblivious. You knew he didn't have a girlfriend - not for more than one night at least.
"Hm? Oh, no. Sukuna doesn't really date, I think. But I don't know him very well." he replied and you were stunned.
"Don't you live together?"
"No, Sukuna lives alone. Only his cousins Yuji and Choso live here."
His cousins?
You thought, but apparently you were thinking out loud, because Tadashi enlightened you.
"Yes, can't you see that? I think Yuji looks a lot like him."
That was true, after all, you almost confused the two once.
"Why does he live alone?" you asked, but before you could continue the conversation, someone shouted from the next room through the whole house.
"HEY, WHO WANTS TO PLAY SPIN THE BOTTLE?" Aoi yelled and caught Sukuna's attention, who then noticed you and Tadashi.
But you looked at Shoko and Utahime, who nodded at you in agreement, and so you followed Aoi's call and entered the smaller room in which a few students were already gathered. Yuji was also there, talking to a boy with spiky dark hair.
You sat down in the circle, Tadashi sat down next to you and several people joined you. Finally, Sukuna appeared, with the cheerleader in tow. His gaze was on you and he sat down opposite to you, his eyes swaying back and forth between you and Tadashi. You didn't know why, but suddenly you felt uncomfortable in this situation.
You played a few rounds and mostly it was questions, sometimes kisses that were exchanged. When the bottle pointed at you, you quickly answered the question that had been asked beforehand: What's your type?
"I don't really have one." It was as simple as that and Sukuna's as well as Tadashi's curious looks went unnoticed by you. Then it was Utahime's turn. Whoever the bottle stopped on, she had to kiss. She turned the bottle and it almost pointed at herself, but one last sway to the right and it clearly pointed at Shoko. The two kissed briefly and then it was Shoko's turn.
She asked - the bottle stopped on the cheerleader, who turned out as Manami - the same question that was also directed at you.
Her answer? Someone with pink hair. It was clear who she meant.
Nevertheless, Yuji called out, as funny as ever: "So...me?" he asked, half confused, half joking, and you all broke out into laughter.
But her words still sounded bitter in your ears and you missed the rounds until it was finally Sukuna's turn. He was supposed to kiss the person the bottle was pointing at and you couldn't help but feel nervous as the bottle turned and turned and finally...came to rest on you. Of course. Who else.
Sukuna looked at you in shock and then declared his words.
"I'll pass."
Everyone was bewildered.
"Then you have to drink!" Aoi then broke the silence and Sukuna just replied with a "whatever" and took a few sips of his drink. Then it was Aoi's turn, but you weren't paying any attention, still dumbfounded by Sukuna's reaction to you. Why didn't he want to kiss you? He almost did it earlier after all...
You just couldn't understand it and to be honest, it was embarrassing to be rejected like that in front of everyone. So when it was your turn to kiss Tadashi, you did it without hesitation. After the kiss, you briefly glanced at Sukuna, who then stood up and left the room. You just couldn't figure out what was going on inside him. Maybe it was the alcohol, but right now everything felt heavier than before.
After a short while, you also stood up and went into the kitchen to refill your empty cup. Just as you were pouring the Sprite into it, someone entered the kitchen.
"Didn't you have enough?" a voice called out from behind you. Unsurprisingly, it was Sukuna.
"Didn't you have enough?" you replied cheekily.
"I didn't drink. I don't drink during the season." he retorted, but that wasn't what you meant.
"I mean of me. That seemed to be the case a moment ago, so why are you interfering in my matters again?"
He chortled.
"What, mad I didn't kiss you?" he teased, but you weren't in the mood for it.
"Yeah, totally." you let out an exasperated sigh. "If you'd excuse m-"
But Sukuna stopped you in your tracks.
"I'm going to take you home. It's late already." he stated and you tried to stay as calm and nice as possible so as not to give him the satisfaction of getting to you.
"No thanks, I'm going home with my friends later. Go take someone else if you're bored."
And with that, you made your way back to Utahime and Shoko and continued playing for a while before you finally made your way back home.
When you got there, you were slowly sobering up. It felt like your life had been turned upside down. You couldn't believe how much could happen in a single day.
Wrote all of that today hehe. I literally have NO idea about football, I've been researching and I HOPEEE what I've written makes any sense. BUTTT apart from that I think that's my fav chapter so far :>
Pls let me know what you think, comments and reblogs are sooo appreciated!!!
taglist: @miakxn @aureliaborea @nonamevenus @silkija @sad-darksoul @joh-ahae @mysteriaqueen
#jjk fic#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#sukuna x you#sukuna x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk sukuna#jujutsu kaisen fic#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fanfiic#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen au#jjk#jjk au#jjk fluff#jjk angst#jjk smut#jjk smau#sukuna fluff#smau#sukuna angst#sukuna smut#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#toji x reader#geto suguru#toji fushiguro#nanami kento
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Sour Lemonade (One-shot)
AO3 | Main Masterlist
Your nephew's little league baseball games take up many of your summer evenings, and it's not the dust or the concession stand treats that keep you coming back - it's one of the coaches, Joel Miller.
Pairing: Little league coach!Joel Miller x f!reader
Warnings: 18+, MDNI! alternate universe, adult language, alcohol consumption, smut, unprotected p in v, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), fluff, flirting, angst, mentions of physical violence, light choking, baseball talk, mentions of child death, mentions of infidelity
WC: 12k
Divider by @firefly-graphics
Dust flies into your face, obscuring your view of the baseball diamond. “Fuck,” you spit, the sudden inconvenience enraging you. Aggressively, you wipe your lips with the back of your forearm, noticing now how sticky, slimy, and itchy your skin is from all the sweat and dirt. And the pirate bugs are relentless, tiny daggers pricking your pores at every moment. Each swat of your exposed skin produces a tiny black smear, only to be replaced by another miniscule, predatory black dot.
“Does anyone have some goddamn bug spray?” Anger invites itself to the baseball game now, alarming some of the innocent parents watching their 8-year-old sons try to play America’s favorite pastime. Your sister, who dragged you to this hell hole, tugs on your sleeve as she hops up from the bleachers.
“Jesus, can’t go anywhere without you cussing up a storm… no wonder your nephew knows all these colorful words,” she scolds you, your name rolling off her tongue with a sharp bite as she stomps over to the bathrooms. The rage inside you cools a bit, returning to its home in the corner of your stomach. She swings her tote from under her arm to her front, digging in the bottomless pit for some bug spray. She pulls out a pink spray bottle with feminine letters, and you already know it doesn’t have DEET.
“Sorry, Mer—for the cussing. But also, do you have anything containing any carcinogens? Need ultra strength right now,” you say, trying to ease the tension. She snorts and rolls her eyes, exchanging the pink bottle for a familiar green one. OFF! is plastered in big font on the front.
“Ahhhh,” you sigh, spraying the familiar harsh scent on your skin and clothes. She laughs, taking a big step away from the cloud of haze surrounding you. The mist cools your skin, though you know it’ll stick once it’s dried—you don’t care at this point. It’s the third inning, and you can’t handle another hour and a half of being a trained insect assassin.
“Thanks. Also, how d’ya know Noah isn’t learning cuss words at school? Or on YouTube,” you remind her, pointing a DEET-covered finger in her face. She ponders it for a moment, jaw ticking back and forth.
“Well, either way—these parents are going to blacklist you if you don’t put a filter on it.” You wave her off, grimacing.
“Meredith, let me put it bluntly—I don’t give a fuck,” you say, accentuating the last word and sticking your neck out. She laughs loudly and smacks your shoulder.
“Y’know, Noah loves that you come to his games. And I want to keep you around, so… I guess I can tolerate it,” Meredith says with a half-smirk, snatching the green bottle from your sticky fingers. “Let’s go back before the damn game is over.”
“Hey! Language!” you point at her, eyes widening in mock shock. A throaty laugh leaves her lips. The wind picks up again, sending a twister of dirt and dust your way, so hard it stings your legs. You curse yourself for not wearing pants.
Back at the bleachers, you find that your language is the least concern of these parents. It’s the bottom of the fourth inning, and the score is 2-9. Noah’s team looks somber as they take the field. Moms are perched on their bleacher chairs with crossed legs, quietly fanning their faces with paper programs with pursed lips. Dads spit their sunflower seeds and tobacco into the grass aggressively with arms crossed, shaking their heads with each dropped ball and fumbled groundout. A sharp contrast is the cacophony of shrill screams and boisterous laughter from children running around the nearby empty fields, with not a care in the world. They’re just happy to be here.
“Sheesh… tough night,” Meredith says solemnly in your ear. You nod, sucking your lips into your mouth. The pitcher on Noah’s team walks another batter, and a man, presumably one of the coaches, emerges from the dugout and steps onto the field, holding his palm up to the umpire.
“Time!” The umpire calls, waving both hands in the air a few times. You study the man as he approaches the pitcher, surprised at what you see.
He’s taller than average, but not too tall. His trim body is lined with lean muscle, though he’s somewhat soft in the middle. Broad shoulders stretch his gray t-shirt. Graying brunette curls peek under his hat, kissing the top of his strong, tanned neck. Strong legs stride quietly, though confidently, toward the poor boy, who is clearly distraught. The man kneels and puts a hand on the pitcher’s shoulder as he speaks to him. The boy nods, cracking a small smile and sniffling as the man jostles him softly. He told a joke, perhaps—whatever it took to get the kid to smile. You find yourself smiling, too, watching the pair interact. The man has a calming presence that seems to have trickled into the crowd. The tension in the air is less frigid, palpable. He high-fives the boy and stands, returning to the dugout. His gaze sweeps the field, giving his players a thumbs up, before turning to the crowd and locking eyes with you.
Shit. His face takes your breath away, complete with a curved nose, high cheekbones, plush lips crowned with a full mustache, and an angled jawline dotted with brown and gray hairs. His smoldering chocolate eyes, though, are what hypnotize you the most. He’s still staring at you, likely analyzing the structure of your features like you are to him. You notice his stride falters momentarily before catching himself, but his eyes never stray from yours as he returns to the dugout. Heat radiates from your cheeks. Your heart thuds in your chest, pulse racing at this gorgeous stranger checking you out. Meredith nudges you with her elbow.
“I’ve never seen anybody get eye-fucked like that,” she whispers, and you can’t prevent the loud guffaw that escapes from your mouth. You clap a hand over your mouth quickly and whip your head toward her.
“Who is that?!” you squeal, clutching her wrist.
“That’s Joel Miller, one of the coaches,” she whispers, craning her neck to look at him in the dugout. “His nephew is on the team. Brother is that guy sitting behind home plate here,” she points, alerting you to an attractive Latino man with shiny black curls and a similar strong nose. Damn. He’s fine as hell, too. Before you turn to look at him again, Meredith grips your leg.
“He’s staring over here, don’t look,” she whispers. You can’t help but smile and feel giddy, like a sixth grader developing their first crush.
The game ends on a higher note, with Noah’s team lessening the gap and ending 6-10. As parents trickle from the stands to wait for their boys out by the dugout, you try to catch a glimpse of Joel, who is picking up stray baseball bats and gloves, handing them to their rightful owners. Noah ambles over to Meredith and you, grin plastered on his dirt-stained face. He wraps his sweaty arms and hands around your midsection.
“Hey, buddy. You did great,” you beam at him. He sighs heavily and looks up at you, big blue eyes laced with disappointment.
“We didn’t win, though,” he laments, wiping his dirty face off on your shirt.
“S’not all about winning, my dude. Gotta have fun and try to get better every day,” you comfort him, patting the back of his sweaty jersey.
“That’s some good life advice right there,” a deep, sexy, Southern-accented voice interrupts. You snap your head up and see Joel, who’s already looking at you. God, he’s even more attractive up close, and he smells good, like pine and musk. His eyes travel your face before dipping down to your lips, quickly reverting to your eyeline.
“Joel! This is my sister,” Meredith introduces you, pulling Noah from your grasp. Joel holds out a hand. You grab it and shake, relishing the warmth and size of his hand. The two of you stare at each other for a moment before he lets go.
“Nice to meet ya. I think some of the parents are gettin’ drinks later, after puttin’ the Rugrats to bed,” he says, flashing a jaw-dropping smile at you. Meredith chimes in, saving you once again from your own awkward silence.
“That sounds great! We’ll definitely stop by, right?” she asks you, nudging you. You tear your eyes from Joel’s and nod.
“Yes—though I need a shower. I stink,” you admit, scrunching your nose. A deep chuckle emits from Joel, shoulders shaking with laughter. Your heart skips a beat.
“Y’can’t be that bad—at least y’look good,” he says with a grin, pearly whites blinding you. Your heart falters completely at his compliment and you’re frozen, like a mosquito inside a solid block of amber. Meredith, for the umpteenth time today, saves you from looking like an absolute fool.
“Joel, wait ‘til you see her all cleaned up! We gotta go get this kiddo showered and ready for his sleepover, see you in a bit!” she says, clutching your wrist and leading you and Noah toward the parking lot. Peering over your shoulder, you catch Joel’s eyes drifting up and down your figure. His smile fades, expression morphing from excitement, to astonishment, to desire. Oh, fuck.
Two hours later, Meredith and you are arm in arm, walking up to the bar the parents and coaches had chosen for the rendezvous. The summer heat has loosened its grip on the city, with gentle summer gusts and a Starburst-colored sunset replacing it. Your dirty and sweat-ridden clothes are replaced with some jean shorts and a fresh muscle tee, and you remembered to put lotion on your legs for once.
Meredith opens the creaky wooden entrance door, and you spot the baseball group in a corner of the bar. Eight parents and all coaches are here, each sporting a mug of some light and probably domestic beer. All greet you with either a wave or a loud greeting—they must’ve gotten started drinking early. You spot Joel sitting next to his brother, Tommy—both are staring at you as you approach the group.
“Since you’re late, you have to buy shots,” says one of the moms, lifting her empty beer glass.
“Fine, Katy—but it’s gonna be tequila!” Meredith quips, inciting a grimace from Katy and cheers from all the men at the table. “Let’s go up to the bar,” Meredith murmurs in your ear, setting your purses down on two empty chairs the group saved for you. You try not to look at Joel but feel his magnetizing gaze on you, and you make eye contact with him. His eyes are molten dark chocolate, sweeping over your face with a glimmer of want. You crack a small smile and his eyes latch onto your lips immediately. Before your knees buckle, you break eye contact and follow Meredith to the bar.
“So, you gonna fuck him, or what?” She teases once you’re both out of earshot of the group. You land a playful slap on her arm and drop your jaw.
“Mer! I don’t even have his number! Or know how old he is, or if he’s an ex-con, or a child molester, or a serial strangler,” you ramble, pulling a laugh from her.
“He’s not any of those things, but he’s in his fifties, I know that. Doesn’t look like it, though,” she says, eyebrows arching. He’s got some years on you, for sure, but you’ve had an experience or two with an older man—though this one terrifies you. His eyes alone could convince you to do almost anything.
The bartender pours up double-digit tequila shots, garnished with salted rims and limes, and plops them on a serving tray. Meredith hoists it up and you walk back to the table, making sure to put some extra swing in your hips in case Joel’s watching. You can tell from your peripheral that he is, in fact, staring at you. Something fizzes in your chest—warm, wanting.
“Cheers to not getting run-ruled today!” Tommy cheers as everyone clinks their shot glasses together. You down yours quickly, anticipating the spicy aftertaste. And boy, it burns like hell as it glazes down your throat. You suck on the lime and try not to shiver. Whoops and cheers fill the empty bar as everyone finishes their shots.
After a few beers and shots later, you’re feeling loose and giddy. Your end of the table is talking about the godforsaken umpire from tonight’s game, somewhat split from the other half of the table, which is discussing the MLB playoffs. Feeling a familiar pull, you turn and see Joel smiling at you. Once you make eye contact, he winks, which sends you reeling. He’s about to get up from his seat when one of the moms waltzes her way over to him, curling her polished claws around his shoulder.
You wouldn’t be surprised if he preferred her over you—she’s petite, with long blonde hair, tan skin, blue eyes, and perky fake boobs. She looks great, you admit, and she’s closer to his age. Sadness looms in your belly and your smile fades as his attention diverts to her. Oh well, you think. Good thing it didn’t go too far. Resigned, you join the conversation and try to focus on anything but Joel.
The night carries on, and you find yourself unbothered by Joel. Meredith completely let loose, singing along to the music echoing throughout the bar. Everyone at your end of the table is telling jokes, clinking glasses, and enjoying each other’s presence. It’s a fun night, you admit to yourself. You made every effort to not pay attention to the other end of the table but felt Joel’s eyes on you constantly.
What you didn’t realize was how much he wanted you to be the one pressed up against him, with his arm curled around your waist or his rough fingers stroking the smooth skin of your thigh. He needed to get away from this kid’s mom—she was newly divorced and obviously ready for a rebound. Yeah, she was attractive, but nothing about her excited him—if anything, he was irritated by her blatant advancements. The final straw was when she crept her hand up his denim-clad thigh and squeezed close to the apex.
“The hell are you doin’?” he says with a laugh, incredulous. She licks her glossy lips and leans in toward his ear.
“Oh, I think you know, big boy,” she murmurs in her sexiest voice. Joel is turned off. Not wanting to be rude, he lightly grips her wrist and pulls her hand back. You, unfortunately, look over right as he grabs her hand.
“Not interested, dear,” he murmurs back, watching the frustration grow on her face.
“Fine, Miller—there’s plenty more who want it,” she boasts. She snatches her manicured hand away and moves onto your side of the table, picking another innocent victim.
Annoyed, you stand and walk up to the bar, back facing the group. Guess her little routine worked on Joel—he really ate it up, even touched her arm. You chide yourself for letting this unnerve you—you don’t even know the guy, and for all you do know, he might be a sleazeball.
“Need a break from the loudmouths?” the bartender asks, half smiling. You nod, rolling your eyes playfully.
“Too much testosterone over there,” you retort, “I’ll take a Sprite.” She nods and punches a button on the soda gun, filling up a tall glass. Staring at the bubbles fizzing over the ice cubes, you feel a breeze on your side. It’s Joel, finally separated from his bimbo of the night.
“Hey, darlin’, can I get you a drink?” he asks, smooth, sugary voice tickling your eardrums. He sounds sexy as fuck. You hold his gaze but don’t smile, creating an icy wall between the two of you.
“Is your girlfriend okay with that?” you sneer, turning to take a sip of your Sprite. His shoulders sag just slightly, but you see it from the corner of your eye.
“She ain’t my girl, promise. She’s tryna find a rebound,” he murmurs apologetically. You shrug.
“Seems like she was getting close to getting one.” Ouch. It hits low and painful in his belly, though he understands.
“Listen, I know what it looked like. Promise ya, it ain’t nothing. She ain’t my type,” he says, eyes sweeping your face. Guilt pangs you, and you turn to look at him. Fuck. His eyes are solemn, repentant—he’s saying sorry, and he doesn’t even need to. You sigh deeply, feeling that the alcohol is forcing you to be honest with him.
“Joel, look—I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ha—,” you start, but he interrupts you, putting a calloused palm up and shaking his head.
“No need t’apologize, sweetheart. I get it. She was all over me,” he says, end of his sentence filled with a playful tone. You giggle quietly.
“Oh yeah, she was two seconds away from sinking her teeth into you,” you joke, chuckles exchanging between the two of you. Relief fills you, warm and cleansing. He stares at you for a moment before speaking again.
“So, that drink…” he says, a lopsided grin plastered on his rugged face. God, he’s handsome. You can’t hold off much longer.
“I ‘spose,” you tease, “Guess you owe me one, anyway.” His half-grin turns whole, smile sending a zip of desire down your spine. He leans close to your ear, sweeping your hair over your shoulder. The touch of his warm skin on yours and the proximity of him almost makes you jump.
“I’ll make it up t’ya, swear on it,” he says, voice an octave lower and Southern accent dripping with something you’re not quite ready to identify. You clamp your thighs together instinctively, another shiver rippling through you like that of the tequila shot. Joel waves the bartender over and orders your drink of choice and whiskey neat.
“So… you live with Meredith?” Joel inquires, watching you as he sips the amber liquid. You shake your head, twirling the straw around your drink.
“Nope, but I might as well with how much I’m over there, helping with Noah and whatnot.” He nods.
“I had a daughter once. Y’know what they say… it takes a village,” he says, tone laced with melancholy. Once?
“I hate to ask, but… what happened to her?” you ask carefully, hesitant to look at him.
“She passed away when she was little. Car accident. S’alright, though—it was a long time ago,” he says, smiling at you wistfully. You put a hand on his bare forearm, and he almost melts into a puddle.
“I’m sorry, Joel. That’s so awful. I can’t imagine experiencing something like that. Noah’s my nephew, but I wouldn’t be able to go on if something happened to him,” you add, hoping to soothe his pain.
“Enough about me, darlin’, I wanna know more about you,” he says, covering your hand with his. His touch is electric on your skin.
“Nothing exciting, trust me,” you say with a shrug. He scoffs.
“I’d be shocked to hear that you’re single,” he says, winking at you again. You shove him playfully.
“Prepare to be shocked,” you quip. He shakes his head and looks up at one of the TVs.
“S’a damn shame,” he laments. The alcohol sends courage racing through your veins.
“For whom?” you tease, mirroring his wink. His smile fades just slightly as he takes you in, desire washing over him. When he speaks again, his voice is even deeper than before.
“Not for me, that’s for sure.” Your stomach drops at his admission, though your face doesn’t show it.
“Yeah? Why’s that, Miller?” He takes another sip of his whiskey, eyes locked on yours.
“You kiddin’? Look at you,” he says, whistling lowly, eyes traversing your frame. If you weren’t blushing before, you are now. You wave him off and sip your own drink.
“Oh, stop. I bet you get the best of the best coming up to you,” you say, playing it cool. He takes another sip, swallowing with a hmm-mm.
“Darlin’, the best of the best is sittin’ next to me, and I reckon I got some groveling t’do if I wanna see her again,” he admits. He takes his baseball cap off, revealing thick, gorgeous curls, hairline swept with gray locks. He runs a hand through them before sliding the cap back on. Admiring his profile, you watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. Your gaze travels down to his neck, which might just be your favorite part of him at the moment—thick, tan, jugular vein bulging. You can almost see his pulse pounding at his carotid. Fuck, he makes your pulse pound. Sucking in a deep, calming breath, you avert your gaze to your near-empty drink, swishing the ice cubes around nervously. Joel nudges your arm with his elbow. You look at him, trying your hardest to maintain a straight face, but seeing his smile makes you grin.
“What?” you ask, noticing his eyes dipping down to your lips.
“Was just thinkin’,” he says, finishing the last of his whiskey as he eyes you inquisitively.
“About?” you press, tilting your ear toward him and raising your brows. He laughs at your facial expression and leans in, lips brushing your hair and nearly grazing your ear.
“’Bout what it would be like t’kiss you,” he hums, voice dripping with lust. Your eyes widen briefly, shock quickly morphing into nervousness, then anticipation as your stomach twists.
“Think I need another drink before then,” you say, slowly turning to face him. He’s close, close enough that you feel his breath on your face. He’s half-smiling again, brown eyes spanning your face.
“Nervous?” he taunts lowly. You look up at the TV and nod slowly.
“Darlin’, y’got nothin’ to be nervous about. I ain’t gonna make ya do anything y’ain’t comfortable with,” he says, face still close to your ear. You face him again, staring intently into his eyes.
“Oh, it’s not that. I’m afraid… you’ll be hooked,” you test him, hoping your bravado overshadows your nerves. His nostrils flare just slightly before he clears his throat.
“Reckon I need another drink, too—I might not survive,” he says, catching you off guard. A loud laugh escapes your lips. Joel is delighted at the sound and wonders how you’d sound doing other things, like underneath him or as his tongue unravels you. Suppressing an erection, he waves the bartender over and orders both of you another round.
“Wanna get some air?” he questions you, tipping his head toward the patio area. You nod, chewing on your straw nervously. The idea of being alone with him makes you squirm. You stand and he guides you outside, firm hand on your lower back. His fingertips burn into your back.
“Lemme just tell Mer I’m stepping outside,” you say. He nods. “Meet ya out there?” he offers, and you clink the rim of your glass to his in agreement. You watch him saunter over to the patio doors, salivating at the way his jeans hug his hips and ass. Meredith isn’t worried by your absence at all, still laughing and talking loudly with the group. She’s drunk.
“Mer, I’m stepping out back if you need me,” you say into her ear. She turns to you, holding your chin.
“Y’gonna kiss him, finally? He’s been tryna do it for the last hour!” she spits into your ear. Your lips quirk into a smile.
“Maybe, dunno. We’ll find out shortly,” you reply nonchalantly, shrugging as you turn to leave the table. She pinches your ass as you walk away.
Anticipation bubbles in your chest as you get closer to the patio. With a deep breath, you push the doors open and see Joel leaning up against the railing, hip cocked to one side. The patio is dotted with dim string lights and overlooks a small pond with a fountain, moonlight glimmering on the surface. The trickling of the water is soothing, a nice contrast to the loud music and voices inside the bar. He turns his body toward you, arm leaned against the railing as he watches you.
“Thought maybe I scared ya off,” he teases. You stand next to him, arm brushing his as he turns to face the pond again.
“Not in the slightest. Your girl back there, though? Not going within 20 feet of her,” you tantalize him, and he rolls his eyes as he chuckles.
“She ain’t even a blip on my radar, darlin’,” he says, voice shifting from playful to sensual. You feel his hot gaze on your face. Slowly, he dips his head closer to yours. You turn and lock eyes with him. You want him, though your expression is almost hesitant—his is pliant, asking permission. You look down at his plush lips and lean in while closing your eyes.
When your lips finally meet, a sensation roils through you like you’ve never experienced. You feel like a fishing boat in the North Sea, tossed around, dizzy, and soaked by the icy waves as they threaten to pull you under. You’re completely at the mercy of his lips, his touch. The kiss is slow, yet fiery—unlocking passion in both of you that has either been dormant or never existed. At some point, Joel turned to face you and pulled you flush to him, thick arms wrapped around your torso, squeezing you like he can’t afford to let go. You reach for his hair and knock off his baseball cap, and he laughs against your mouth.
It doesn’t take long for your tongues to tangle and the kiss to reach a new level of hot and heavy. He’s gripping your ass; you’re shoving your hands up his shirt. He’s breaking the kiss to nip at your neck and jawline; you’re moaning softly. He’s groaning into your skin at the sounds you make, telling you how good you are; your nails are carving shapes into the skin of his back.
You pull back, panting, fingers still latched onto his curls. Concerned eyes stare into yours, worried he crossed a line. You shake your head and laugh incredulously, glancing over at the moonlit pond. It’s surreal, the way you’re feeling now—none of your dreams have ever been so enchanting as this moment. Joel strokes your cheek softly, needing to know your thoughts.
“Everything alright?” he murmurs, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheekbone.
“Yes! Oh god, everything’s—amazing, I just didn’t know if—,” you stammer, trying to force the thousand thoughts swirling in your mind into a coherent sentence.
“D’you wanna get outta here, darlin’? I understand f’you say no, but good lord, I want you,” he breathes, searching your eyes for a semblance of hesitation or uncertainty. He doesn’t find either. Your pupils dilate ever so slightly, tongue darting out to lick your lips.
“Fuck yes,” you breathe, sending him over the edge. He smirks and releases you momentarily to pick up his fallen ball cap, tossing the sweaty fabric over his curls before grabbing your hand to guide you back inside. It’s hasty, the way he closes his tab and signs his receipt, tossing the pen back behind the bar with a chuckle.
“Let me tell Mer I’m leaving,” you tell him. He nods.
“I’ll wait here for ya, don’t need ya walkin’ in the dark parkin’ lot alone this time of night.”
“A gentleman, too? Hopefully that doesn’t carry over to the bedroom,” you coo, putting on your sultriest voice. His eyes are black as sin, sweeping over your body slowly.
“Oh, I am—ladies first,” he quips, enjoying the view as you turn to walk toward the table. Meredith is perched on the lap of one of the dads, whispering in his ear.
“Mer—I’m leaving. I’ll call you in the morning, yeah?” You shout over the loud chatter of the group and the music. She winks at you and gives you a languid thumbs up. Still drunk. You narrow your eyes at poor lad she’s sitting on, giving him a silent warning. He throws his palms up in the air in surrender. Meredith rolls her eyes at you before turning back to him.
Joel takes your hand as you walk out of the bar, giving the back a quick kiss. The excitement and thrill of leaving with him has you giddy, springy. Your steps are bouncier than before, confidence buzzing inside you. This fine man wants you, has wanted only you since he laid eyes on you, and is taking you home. Your past one-night stands have never been so exhilarating.
Joel leads you to a big silver truck, opening the passenger door for you and helping you into the plush leather seat. He swats your ass as you hop in, laughing at the yelp that escapes you. Trotting over to the driver’s side, he hops in and wastes no time getting out of there.
“Your place or mine?” He asks as the truck cruises onto a main road.
“Mine,” you reply, starting to feel nervous. Maybe a familiar location will calm your nerves a bit.
“Lead the way, darlin’.” You guide him to your apartment, which is maybe 10 minutes from the bar. He grabs your hand as you both speedwalk into the building, eager to rip your clothes off and finish what you started at the bar.
As soon as you’re inside your apartment, Joel rips his cap off and hoists you up, your back pressed against the door. Your legs encircle his waist and pull, crashing your hips together. His lips devour you hungrily, teeth nibbling your lower lip and hands frantically roaming over you. “Where?” he murmurs in your mouth, and you point to your agape bedroom door. You didn’t make your bed, but you couldn’t give less of a fuck right now, and neither does he. He carries you inside the dark room and lies both of you on the bed, your legs still wrapped around his midsection.
“Need t’see you,” he pants, and you point to the lamp on your bedside table. He twists the knob, filling the room with dim, amber lighting. His mouth latches back onto yours before moving down to your soft neck and collarbone.
“Off,” he says, tugging at the collar of your muscle shirt. You lift your arms up and let him tear the fabric from you, remembering that you didn’t wear a bra once you hear him curse.
“Fuck,” he groans, “look at you.” He squeezes your breasts, taking a nipple into his warm mouth. You inhale sharply, running fingers through his tousled curls as he sucks on one and moves to the other. He kisses down your stomach until he meets denim, sitting up and grasping the waistband of your shorts. He peers at you from poignant, hooded eyes.
“Can I take these off?” he asks softly, surprising you. He’s gentle, obedient, almost submissive to you, though you don’t realize what a treasure you are in his eyes. He wants to savor this, make sure it’s perfect for you. Your chest is heaving, nerves so alight that you almost forget to respond.
“Please,” you affirm, and he doesn’t need to be told twice.
You’re already soaked—you felt it once you sat down in his truck, the damp fabric of your panties pushed up into you. He unbuttons and slides your shorts off, leaving your green thong on and licking his lips as he notices the wet spot.
“Jesus… this for me?” he says, returning his needy mouth to your hot skin. You’re squirming in his grip, breathless.
“Yes, fuck,” you huff, whimpers leaving your mouth as he kisses his way down your left hip and bites your inner thigh. You moan, the painful prick of his incisors heightening your pleasure.
“You like that, baby?” he asks, peeking up at you from down below. Bashfulness washes over you at the sight of him between your legs, worshipping your body. You nod feverishly, lower lip between your teeth. He growls lowly and kisses down your leg, stopping at your instep and watching your response before retracing his path. He stops over your clothed mound and kisses featherlight, pulling a groan from you. You feel his smile curve against your core, but he doesn’t oblige you—he kisses down your other leg. You tug on his hair, needing his mouth on your most sensitive spot.
“Needy, ain’t she?” he teases you, breathing hot air on your clothed, throbbing pussy. Your back arches and you sigh heavily at the sensation.
“I’ma give you just what y’need, darlin’, just hold on for me,” he soothes you, teeth pulling the waistband of your thong back slowly. He needs help from his hands, though, so he loops his fingers in the waistband and rids them from you. His gaze is boring holes in you, looking at you like you’re the most precious thing he’s ever seen.
“Tongue-tied?” you tease him, watching his eyes roam over your naked body.
“Fuckin’ perfect,” he growls. He shifts downward, lower half on the floor before hooking his arms under your thighs and pulling you toward him. He stares at you as he blows softly on your clit. The chill of the air on your wet core drives you mad, your hips circling involuntarily under his grip. At what seems like a glacial pace, he leans in until his lips touch your clit in a featherlight kiss. Though light, the contact feels like the floor has dropped from underneath you, making you dizzy. His teasing has you so riled up; it won’t take much for you to reach the zenith. His tongue slips out and slowly, almost agonizingly, licks from your entrance to your clit.
“Shit, Joel,” you gasp. He smirks against your core, impressed with himself for learning your cues early on. He continues licking you languidly, sensually, changing his approach based on your moans, curses, and sighs, each twitch of your hips and death grip of his hair and arms, relishing all of you.
“Like hearing y’say my name,” he purrs, “Y’taste so good.” White-hot pleasure keeps shooting up your spine, like fireworks on July fourth. Your stomach feels tight, like you might snap any second.
“I’m close,” you whimper, hips rolling on his face. He hums in approval into your pussy. You reach down and grip his hands before he pulls one away to prod at your entrance. He curves two broad fingers into you, groaning at how warm and tight you are. A strangled cry escapes your throat at the stretch, part of you worried about how his cock will fit. He pumps his fingers quickly, and you snap, your orgasm taking over every fiber of your being. He talks you through it, praising you and trying not to come himself at the sight of you trembling, arched in pleasure.
After a beat, he removes his fingers and slots himself between your legs, head dipping down to kiss you, giving you a taste of yourself on his wiry mustache and smooth lips.
“Taste good, don’t you?” he croons into your mouth, pulling a low moan from your throat. Gripping the fabric of his shirt as you kiss him, you realize he’s still fully clothed. You tug the hem of his shirt up and he sits on his heels to pull it off, revealing a strong, toned torso with a softness that makes you melt. He notices you admiring him.
“S’not as good as it used t’be,” he chuckles, smiling at you as he tosses his shirt to some corner of the room.
“Shut up. You’re perfect,” you breathe, hands roaming his chest and stomach before landing in his waistband, pulling him back to you. He resists, only to unbutton his denim and slide it off his legs, leaving only his boxers. You reach out and grab his hard length through the thin fabric, gasping at the girth of him. Your fingers don’t even reach all the way around. His head tips back, breathy sigh escaping his lungs at your gentle but firm touch.
“Off,” you parrot his command from earlier, fingers tugging at the elastic waistband of his boxers. Eyes locked on yours, he stands and pulls them off his figure, cock springing as it releases. A mischievous grin creeps over his features after seeing your reaction to his manhood.
Fuck. He’s big, probably bigger than most you’ve had. The length is up there, but the girth is what worries you—he’s so thick.
“Don’t worry, darlin’, I’ll take care of you,” he soothes you, settling between your legs. Confusion contorts his face, like he forgot something—until frustration sets in.
“I don’t have protection, d’you have anything?” he asks, stroking a slow path from your inner thigh to your hip, making you squirm.
“No, but I’m good—I’m on birth control, and it’s been forever since I’ve had sex with anyone, so I’m clean,” you reply. You can’t even remember the last time you slept with anyone—months, perhaps.
“Me, too,” he adds, “minus the birth control.” His witty response makes you giggle. You sit up and lean forward to kiss him, stopping just before your lips touch.
“I want you inside me. Now,” you whisper, gaze flicking over his face. His eyes flash obsidian before he crashes his lips against yours and lies you both down. He rubs the head of his cock against your soaked folds, the sensation setting your body on fire. Aroused and impatient, you tip him back until your positions are switched, Joel’s head almost hanging off the edge of the bed. He chuckles at you but beams at your confidence. Perched on his lap, you lean back slightly and grind your hips, guiding your lips over his rock-hard length.
“Need a picture of this,” he says, bewildered at the gorgeous woman grinding on his lap, naked and needy for him. His rough palms caress your hips, stomach, breasts, before landing at your shoulders. He pulls you down for a kiss, the new angle pressing your slit flush against his cock, and you shudder.
“Fuck me,” he rumbles, mouth agape, messy salt and pepper curls dipping down to his brow. You sit up, bracing one palm on his chest and using the other to guide him to your dripping entrance. Making sure to watch him, you slowly sink down on him, the stretch splitting you open almost immediately. Your mouth drops and eyebrows arch, the pain and pleasure slowing your movements.
Joel’s face mirrors yours, your tight, soaked cunt squeezing him deliciously. He grits his teeth and grips your ass so hard you’ll have bruises, urging you down further onto him. You slowly take inch by inch until bottoming out, the sudden press of his tip against your cervix making you yelp.
“Okay, baby?” he asks. Your eyes are squeezed shut, breath coming out in heavy pants and hands clawing at his chest as you adjust to the size and thickness of him. A strand of your hair has fallen in your face, moving with each puff of your breath.
“Yes, j-just need a sec,” you whimper. Finally, your inner muscles acclimate to the intrusion of his cock, and you start to move. Each roll of your hips pulls a filthy moan from Joel, whose calloused hands are guiding you up and down his length. You’re whimpering with each thrust, the tip of his cock sending painfully pleasurable shocks up your spine as it slams into the deepest parts of you.
“Just beautiful,” he groans as he watches you bounce on him. It’s a good thing you’re on top, because he would’ve come by now had he been spearing himself into you. “Not gonna last long. Where d’you want me?” he spits.
“Inside me,” you mewl, and before he can react, you take the opportunity to press your chest against his, sweaty foreheads stuck together as you clap your ass against him as hard as you can. Your second orgasm washes over you suddenly, causing you to tuck your head in the crook of his neck as you cry out. Joel takes over, thrusting up into you a few times before grunting your name as he spills into you. Both of your pants and whimpers fill the room as you come down from your high. You’re still on top of him, arms wrapped around his neck, pussy wrapped around his cock still as he softens. He rolls you over and pins your arms above your head before dipping his lips down to meet yours in a messy postcoital kiss. You moan into the kiss, and his cock twitches at the sound inside you—he’s not quite hard, but enough to still stretch you out.
“Wanna do it like this next time,” you pant, cupping his cheek. He turns to kiss your palm and moves down to your wrist before latching his lips onto the slope of your shoulder.
“I’d like that, baby,” he purrs into your sweaty skin, “And I like that there’s gonna be a next time.” He rests against you for a moment before slipping out of you with a grunt and standing to find your bathroom. He returns after a minute with a towel, sitting next to you on the bed and wiping his spend from you.
A pang of disappointment washes over you suddenly, not wanting him to leave. One-night stands really aren’t your thing—you don’t want him to get the idea that this is a frequent habit of yours.
You speak his name softly, quietly. He slides back into bed, propping himself on one elbow and giving you his full attention. He tucks some stray hair behind your ear, your eyes closing at the tenderness of his touch.
“Hmm?” he hums, thumb tracing your eyebrow, forehead, temple, whatever part of your face is closest. You open your eyes and see warm, affectionate amber staring back at you. His eyes are so beautiful, so full of emotion, you find yourself unable to talk for a second. He quirks one eyebrow at you, lips sliding into his cheek as he waits for your response.
“D’you wanna stay?” you ask, hesitant. You really don’t know him, or if this is something he likes to do often, or if it was a spur of the moment decision made during your moment of passion at the bar. He leans down and kisses your forehead before pressing a slow kiss to your lips. Pulling back ever so slightly, his breath fans on your face and gaze flicks between each of your eyes before he opens his mouth to reply.
“Yes, I’d love to,” he says. You can’t help the grin that pulls at your cheeks. He twists the lamp, darkness spilling into the room, and tucks you into his chest before pulling the covers over both of you.
“Goodnight, darlin’,” he whispers into your hair, and before you can reply, you’re sound asleep.
Morning rolls around, and you find yourself pressed against Joel’s warm back, arms wrapped around his torso and moving up and down with his expanding ribcage. He’s still sleeping, or you think—he woke up not too long ago with you curled into his chest, torn between needing to use the bathroom, and not wanting to let go of you. You looked so serene, so beautiful as the sunrise painted your features. When he came back and tucked himself under the covers, you immediately latched yourself onto him, arms wound tightly around his belly.
Now, you find yourself in the same predicament, needing to use the bathroom but not wanting to disturb him. You slowly unfurl yourself from his broad back, stand from the bed and tiptoe to the bathroom connected to your room.
Joel had opened his eyes once he felt you rise from the bed and watched your naked figure travel across the room, the sight stirring his already half-hard cock. Fuck, you were gorgeous, and he wanted desperately to see your body trembling with pleasure again, the memory of your face twisted in euphoria sewn into his brain. When he heard the bathroom door open, he snapped his eyes shut again, wanting you to think he was asleep.
You, on the other hand, didn’t want to wake him and had a primal urge for some fresh coffee. You search the room for your robe, startling when two warm hands grasp your waist and pull you onto the bed. Joel props himself up against your headboard, legs spread as he pulls you into the open space between them. His strong arms loop around your stomach, pulling you tight until your back is flush with his chest. He tucks his face into your neck, pressing gentle kisses behind and beneath your ear, down the column of your neck.
“Where d’you think you’re goin’?” he croons, Southern voice raspy with sleep, igniting something inside you. You moan as his lips and teeth mark spots on the map of your skin.
“Coffee, I swear,” you groan, covering his arms with yours and squirming as his mouth continues adorning you.
“Mm. Not done with you yet,” he murmurs, unwrapping one hand from your stomach to palm your breasts. You arch into him, head tipping back on his shoulder. He growls.
“Feel good, sweetheart?” he presses, rolling one nipple between rough fingertips before moving to the other. You gasp sharply and nod against his shoulder, hips gyrating and ass rubbing against his hard length. He inhales deeply, the scent of your hair invading his space and heightening his arousal for you.
His palm dips lower, spanning your soft stomach before reaching your inner thigh, goosebumps erupting in its path. Lightly, he scratches at your skin there, loving how pliant your body is underneath his touch. He needs to see your face.
“Look at me,” he orders softly, and you turn your head to see him. God, he looks fucking good. His hair is fucked up from slumber, eyes wanton and full of sleepy desire. There are hints of intrigue and mischief sketched on his face.
Then, he kisses you, teeth tugging on your lower lip. It’s hot, the way he needs you in this moment, the way his tongue reaches for yours, the way his grip tightens around you. His hand dips further south, fingers feeling firsthand how much you want him. He moans at it, the wetness trickling from you.
“Joel,” you whine, his calculated touches teasing you. He swirls his fingers around your bud, almost excruciatingly slow.
“You want me this much?” he breathes into your mouth. Your hips are still rolling, ass feeling how much he wants you.
“Yes—please. Need you,” you moan softly, eyes opening to see him. He looks down, watching and moaning at how your slick coats his fingers. He prods his middle finger at your entrance, inserting it lazily into your tight heat with a groan. You gasp at the soreness of his cock from last night and at the stretch—his finger is thick, close to the size of two of your digits.
“Baby—need to stretch you out. So tight.” He pulls his middle finger out and adds his ring finger to the mix. He curls them once they’re fully sheathed inside you, pads stroking your soft walls. He pumps them in and out of you slowly, yet with enough pressure to send you reeling. The pleasure builds inside you, knotting tightly in your belly. You moan as he continues to unravel you, hips circling around his hand, his teeth sinking into your shoulder.
“Come for me, sweet girl,” he coaxes you, mouth moving to graze your earlobe. He holds it there, between his teeth, pulling it as you come apart on his fingers.
Your orgasm rolls through you slowly, vision spotting as the knot untethers inside your stomach. Joel fucks you through it and praises you, spurring you on more. It’s new for you, someone talking you through your orgasm, and something you didn’t realize you needed.
“Good girl, just like that—did so good for me, baby,” he soothes you, removing his soaked fingers from you. He takes the middle one into your mouth, brushing your tongue, and you suck lightly, moaning at the taste of yourself. His cock jumps.
“Need to taste you again,” he hums, placing his ring finger in his mouth. You watch him relish the taste of you, eyebrows arching and a deep groan escaping his throat.
“Can I fuck you now, baby?” he asks, syllables like chords of a sweet cello. You nod, tugging the back of his head down for a passionate kiss. He maneuvers both of you until you’re underneath him and he’s hovering over the cradle of your hips.
“Gonna go slow,” he says, palms cradling your face.
“Want you to fuck me however you like, Joel,” you whisper, searching his eyes. Brown irises flecked with gold, desire-filled pupils threatening to swallow them. He sits up, tugging your thighs toward him and tucks your knees at his sides. He grips himself and breaks eye contact to watch where your bodies are about to join. He looks up at you as he slips the head of his cock inside your warm entrance, jaw dropping as your walls swallow him.
Carefully, he feeds you inch by inch, eyes never leaving yours until he’s at the hilt. He commits to memory the morphing of your facial expressions as he fills you up—wide eyes, mouth dropping slowly, head tilting back and eyes snapping shut once he reaches the end of you. Only then does he look down to see where he has vanished inside you, moaning at the way your pussy stretches around him as he pulls out slowly.
“You feel so good,” you whine, fingernails lightly scratching his chest and stomach. His head tips back as he sets a pace, your muscles squeezing him and coating him in warm slick.
“Best I ever had—fuck,” he curses, fingertips bruising your hipbones. He pulls you up so your hips are propped up on his lap, leaving space between your back and the bed. You arch, head lolled back and hanging off the edge of the bed.
“Beautiful,” he moans, reaching a palm down to lightly squeeze the column of your throat as he continues pounding into you.
Blood rushes to your head, heightening the pleasure of each thrust. Your body is tingling, almost levitating.
With no notice, your second orgasm zips through you like a gasoline fire, flames scorching your neurons. Joel follows suit, lifting you into his lap, arms wrapped around your torso as he cries into your chest. You tug his curls, tipping his head back in a kiss as he finishes emptying inside you.
You pull back and run your fingers through his hair, stopping to cradle his face in your hands. He beams at you.
“Can I make coffee now?” you tease him, pressing a light kiss to his nose. He laughs warmly, squeezing you tightly and picking you up as he stands from the bed.
“I think that’s acceptable,” he replies, squeezing your ass before letting you stand on your own legs.
“So… when can I see you again?” Joel asks as he puts his shoes on. You’d typed your number into his phone per his request just moments ago and sent yourself a text with his name.
“Are you saying… you want to do this again?” you say, winking at him and dropping your mouth open in mock surprise. He rolls his eyes, standing to pull you into a hug.
“Yes, but not just sex. Unless, uh, that ain’t your thing,” he says, hesitation flashing over his features. You shake your head.
“What we just did isn’t usually my thing. I’d love a date. And more sex if that’s okay.” He snorts.
“It’s more than okay. You showing up to the baseball game tomorrow evening?” he asks, absentmindedly stroking the skin in front of your ear. You nod.
“Got a thing for the hot coach. Need to make sure I have my best jean shorts on.” He snorts again, raising an eyebrow at the prospect of seeing you with some short shorts on.
“How about I take you out later this week, then?” You swipe your eyes around the top of the room, lips sliding into your cheek as you try and remember your schedule.
“Friday? I have a busy week at work. Late nights, probably,” you offer. He nods with a big grin.
“It’s a date.”
The next day arrived in blistering fashion. Not a single cloud graced the blue skies, nor the tiniest gust of summer wind. By 5:00 PM, it was still in the lower 90s. You packed a large cooler full of water bottles, Gatorade, various other liquids stashed in your fridge, and snacks for Noah’s baseball game. Excited to see Joel again, you made sure to wear your best jean shorts and threw on a cropped tank top.
You pull up to the baseball field, searching the parked cars for Meredith’s SUV and Joel’s silver truck. You find both, parked at opposite ends of the lot. Your stomach drops slightly when you see his truck. He’s here, obviously—he is one of the coaches. Meredith waits in her SUV for you, hopping out when she sees you strolling up, big cooler in tow.
“Any booze in that?” she winks at you. You nod.
“I had some stray shooters in the fridge. All yours.”
“I believe you have something to tell me, yeah?” she says as both of you walk up to the entrance of the baseball complex. You look over to the field and see Noah’s team warming up in their familiar navy and red uniforms.
Joel is in the grass, hitting pop flies at the outfielders. His broad back is turned to you, the familiar shape sending a pang of anticipation up your spine. The flexing and jumping of his muscles and tendons is getting you hot. Meredith nudges you.
“Hey, I’m talkin’ to you here! Stop reminiscing,” she scolds you.
“I kinda have to if you want my account of the story, yeah?” you add, mocking her tone playfully. She guffaws.
“Spill. The man was obsessing over you since he saw you at the game.”
“Let’s just say he’s very good at what he does. And he’s a gentleman. He’s taking me out later this week,” you gush, cheeks burning at your recollection of yesterday’s events.
“Knew it. Could tell by the way he walks and looks at you. Mans is whipped. My guy on the other hand? Couldn’t even get it up. Passed out before anything meaningful could happen,” she seethes, eyes rolling.
“All old men are not created equal, Mer,” you joke, jostling her with your elbow.
As you two find home in the bleachers, you see Miss Blonde Ambition eyeing you from the concession stand. She looks pissed off, Juvéderm-filled lips contorted in a scowl and lifeless eyes swiping up and down your frame as she sloshes her Stanley cup around aggressively. Meredith notices, too.
“Guess she’s not too happy her usual antics didn’t work,” she gripes. You try not to give too much attention to the woman.
“What’s her name? I don’t even think Joel knows it,” you ask, noticing her return to the bleachers from your peripheral.
“Cassie. Divorced. Her kid is one of Noah’s closest friends on the team, unfortunately. I think he spends most nights with his dad.”
“Can’t imagine why.” Meredith chuckles at your jab.
A cloud of strong, overly floral perfume invades your nostrils, and you turn to see Cassie, manicured hands planted on her hips and face pinched in irritation.
“Hey, Cass,” Meredith says coolly, not looking in her direction.
“Is this your sister?” Cassie spits. Her voice is shrill, accent almost Valley girl. It would make a lot of sense if she was from Southern California. Meredith, having none of this hostility, whips her head at Cassie.
“It is. You got a problem? Because this is not the time nor the place,” she says, eyes narrowing briefly at Cassie.
“Just wanted her to know that she shouldn’t get too excited about her little escapade with Joel. He does that with every young thing that sits on these bleachers,” she boils, face and neck turning red. Ouch. Joel never seemed the type, but then again, you don’t know him. She could be telling the truth.
“Except you, yeah?” Meredith shoots back, unfazed by Cassie’s low blow. You, on the other hand, don’t miss how your stomach sinks and throat dries up at her words. Cassie’s mouth drops open. She cocks her hips to one side and lifts a finger at both of you.
“Oh, don’t worry, I’ve been there, done that. Nothing to ride home about. Enjoy my sloppy seconds,” she hisses. Meredith stands up, hackles raised and blocking you from Cassie’s view.
“S’at why you were all pissed off he didn’t want you last night? ‘Cause it’s ‘nothing to ride home about’?” Meredith fires, neck rolling. Anger boils in your belly, though you find it best if you don’t speak—Meredith has always been the verbal fighter, you the physical one. It’s not a road you plan on traveling any time soon.
Other parents in the bleachers are observing the confrontation, along with some players in the dugout, little claws gripping the chain link fence and wide eyes glued to the scene. You’re glad you have sunglasses on. You notice Joel turn his attention to you, shoulders drooping at what he sees. Embarrassed, you look down at your feet as Cassie continues her tirade.
“Tell your slutty little sister he’ll find a new spectator to fuck very soon—and I think it’s best if our sons don’t hang out anymore!” she screeches. It’s silent at the ball field—both teams have stopped their warmups to tune into the drama. A pin could drop here, and everyone would hear it.
Meredith hops off the bleachers and gets close to Cassie’s face. She points in her face.
“Slutty? That’s rich, coming from the lady who cheated on her husband with half the single dads at the last State Tournament!” Cassie’s mouth drops open in shock, taking a few steps back from Meredith. Some gasps ring out in the bleachers. Tommy walks over, stepping between the two sparring women and putting his hands up.
“That’s enough!” he booms. Meredith, nostrils flared and fists clenched, points a finger at him.
“Tom, you know damn well what she’s trying to do here. I’m not about to let it happen. She chose to do this in front of everyone to embarrass my sister. Ain’t my problem what comes out.” He pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes, shaking his head.
“I get it, Mer. Just didn’t need the kids hearing this stuff.”
Nausea squeezes your stomach and takes hold of your throat. You stand and grab your purse. Meredith turns to you, worried.
“Y’alright?” You shake your head.
“Need t’go sit in my car for a bit,” you reply, voice shaky. You turn and walk to your car, paying no attention to wandering eyes. Joel sees you ambling to the parking lot and sets his bat down, raking a hand through his stubble as he walks toward the dugout and out to the bleachers. He’d heard the entire conversation and knew you were probably hurting from Cassie’s remarks.
“I’ll talk to her, Joel,” Meredith says, stepping in between him and you, though you’re far away by now. He shakes his head.
“She needs to hear it from me. None of that shit is true,” he huffs, frown lines etched into his forehead. He jogs frantically to your car.
Hunched over your steering wheel, a knock at your window interrupts you. You jump and look up to see Joel. He looks worried. Shoulders sagging, you unlock the doors and tilt your head as you wait for him to get in. The door opens and he reaches for your hand. You snap it back involuntarily.
“I just wanna be alone right now, Joel,” you lament.
“Just let me explain, alright? I heard everythin’ she said to you,” he says, voice calm. You refuse to look at him, knowing that if you do, you won’t be able to stand firm.
“Look at me, darlin’,” he pleads, voice quiet. You sigh in defeat and turn to look at him. His amber eyes are filled with sadness and frustration.
“None of that shit she said is true. I’ve never slept with anyone that comes to these games, save for you and my ex-wife. Ain’t she ain’t been to a game in many years. Swear,” he says, voice tight, speech rushed.
You look back and forth between his eyes. Why would he lie to you? What could he possibly gain from fucking you—after all, he is a coach, and it might make him look bad to the parents and players. If anything, it was a risk on his part.
“I believe you, Joel. It just hurt,” you finally speak. He reaches for you again, hesitant from your previous rejection. You give him your hand and he kisses the back of it, eyes locked on your face.
“M’sorry. I knew she wasn’t gonna let it go easy. Promise ya, ya got nothin’ to worry about. I—I really like you,” he says, pained. You lean over the center console and kiss him, almost feeling his relief pouring into you.
“I really like you too… old man,” you tease. He roars in laughter.
“Y’gonna pay for that one, darlin’,” he says, half-grinning at you. He kisses you again before pulling back and checking his watch.
“Game’s gonna start soon, I gotta get goin’. I’ll see you later, alright?” You nod, smiling weakly at him. He gives you a quick peck before exiting the passenger side and trotting back to the field.
Noah’s team played an excellent game, which lifted the moods of all the parents and coaches. Cassie’s ex-husband, Byron, showed up and convinced her to leave, which was a relief for everyone. He apologized to you and Meredith for her behavior. Apparently, he already knew about her cheating escapade before they divorced.
Meredith, feeling badly for you, decided to splurge on concession stand snacks and got you a giant Bavarian pretzel and cotton candy, and supplied hot dogs to all the parents. You had fun, too—apprehension quickly turned to relief as parents took turns sympathizing with you and making you feel welcome. This was not Cassie’s first run-in with another woman in the bleachers, you found out—she made this sort of thing a habit.
Noah hit his first home run of the season, eliciting cheers and whoops from the stands. Joel, who had been working with him on his hitting mechanics, gave him a big hug after he returned to the dugout. The team finished 10-3, a great turnaround from yesterday’s loss.
The parents were eager to return to the bar and close it down again. You opted not to, feeling tired and needing a hot bath from the sticky summer night. You and Meredith chatted with Byron for a long time in the parking lot as families filtered out, discussing how to best keep Cassie away from the boys. They had a strong friendship, and neither Meredith nor Byron wanted anything to affect it. Byron shared that Cassie didn’t even have custody of their son—her cheating and drinking during their marriage put a bad taste in Byron’s mouth, and apparently the judge’s—he was awarded full custody.
After saying goodbyes, you were eager to get home, almost forgetting the most important goodbye. You scan the parking lot and see a familiar handsome shape leaning against the bed of his silver truck, eyeing you as you saunter over to him.
“Good game, Coach Miller,” you say slyly, sticking your hand out for him to shake. He grasps it, glancing down with one eyebrow cocked, before pulling you into his chest.
“Lotta motivation coming from the stands tonight,” he croons, wrapping his hands around your waist.
“For you or the boys?” He chuckles.
“Take your pick.” You shake your head and smile, watching the sun drop the last of its shape underneath the horizon. The sky is a beautiful cotton candy color, not unlike the treat Meredith bought for you earlier tonight. You two stand there for a moment, the only sounds being the quiet buzzing of the cicadas and crunch of cars leaving the gravel parking lot.
“Headin’ to the bar?” Joel asks you, holding your chin with his forefinger and thumb. You shake your head.
“Need a hot bath and some relaxation. You?” He smirks, thinking of your naked body undressing and stepping into a bubbly tub.
“Nah. Need the same.” Your lips twitch as you study his face, painted with a little mischief and a little fatigue.
“Want to join me?” you offer, watching a slow grin creep on his face.
“Hmm, need t’think about that one,” he says, eyes flicking over your face.
“What’s there to think about? You, me, naked in a tub. What could possibly go wrong?” You’re flirting now.
“That’s exactly what I’m thinkin’ ‘bout, darlin’, not whether I wanna go,” he says, pulling a goofy laugh from you.
“Meet you over there, then,” you say, turning to leave. He holds onto one of your fingers, preventing you from walking to your car.
“Y’want somethin’ to eat first?” he says, rubbing the skin of your finger.
“Sure. Something on the way?”
“I’m thinkin’ McDonalds. Text me what you want, and I’ll bring it over.”
“It’s a date.”
Not too long thereafter, you and Joel are sitting in your bathtub, backs at opposite ends. He’s tracing shapes on the skin of your knee, asking you every question that pops into his head.
“Shoe size?”
“Eleven. I have big ass feet,” you say, sticking a foot out of the water. He chuckles.
“D’ya want kids someday?”
“Nope. Noah is good enough for me. Never really wanted to be a mom. Would you have another?” He shakes his head.
“I’m too old to be a new father again. S’a lotta work. I had a good run with Sarah,” he says quietly, hand tiptoeing further up your leg.
He stares into your eyes, slicking his wet curls back from his forehead with his free hand.
“Why are you single?” His gaze bores into your face. You avoid it, focusing on mussing up some bubbles floating by your knee. You shrug.
“Haven’t had time, or the energy,” you finally say after a beat. “Haven’t found anyone worth giving either of those things to,” you add, tilting your head and meeting his gaze. He half-smiles at you.
“Yeah, me neither. ‘Til now,” he says, deep voice echoing throughout your bathroom.
“Oh yeah? Cassie, right?” you tease, and he snorts.
“Y’got me there. Alright, last question,” he says, hand stopping at the seam of your thigh. You tighten your muscles a bit, nervous.
“Shoot, Coach,” you say, flicking a bubble at him.
“Can I touch you, baby?” your eyes widen briefly, aligned with the quickening of your pulse. You’ve been wet since he ran the bath water for you and undressed you, fingertips gently tracing your skin as he removed your damp clothing.
“Yes,” you breathe. His finger grazes your mound, the sharp stubble like sandpaper against his skin. He grips your knees and pulls you into his lap. You look down at him, mesmerized by his face and the way he stares at you.
“One more question,” he says, warm, pruny hands traversing your back, warm water trickling from his fingertips to your skin. You thread your fingers through his wet tendrils, leaning your lips close to his, but not touching.
“I’ll allow it,” you whisper.
“Can I kiss you?” You nod, closing the gap between your mouths with ease. His lips are gentle against yours, somewhat chapped from the dry heat of the summer day and salty from sweat. He tastes like salt and mint, which he must’ve snuck into his mouth after you ate earlier.
The kiss deepens, wet sounds of your mouths and the splashing of water now echoing in the bathroom. He’s rock hard against you, cock only a few inches from your needy hole. He pulls back and stares at you.
“Alright, promise this is the last question,” he coos, rubbing his nose against your jaw and then your neck as you tip your head back to give him access. The stubble of his mustache and chin scratch at your skin.
“Fine. Last one,” you agree.
“Can I fuck you?” You nod.
And he does.
Some months and many bubble baths later, Joel wormed his way into your heart. And your apartment. He’s got a baseball cap or two hanging on your mantle, throws his keys in the dish on the kitchen counter when he walks in.
You spend most nights together during the week, either at his cozy home or your apartment.
He calls you his, you call him yours.
He fills your car up with gas when you’re out and about and your fuel light comes on, holds your hand when you walk into a restaurant, tells you how beautiful you are at least a few times a week—and not just when his cock is sheathed inside you.
He kisses you each morning before he leaves for work. Shares his food with you, even when he’s starving. Washes you in the shower and puts lotion on the spots you can’t reach after he dries you off.
Introduces you to his family, and shows you pictures of his late daughter.
Goes to the movies with you and doesn’t complain that you talk during the. Entire. Movie.
Lets you wear his ratty, baggy tees around the house, and even asks you to keep them on sometimes when he makes love to you.
Makes fun of how you use a hammer and that you can’t name the 31 different types of wrenches but corrects you each time with a warm smile.
Plays catch with you before the boys show up for warmups and lets you set up the dugout, though he’ll redo it later on anyway.
And when he finally tells you how much he loves you, you’re not shocked. Warmth ebbs inside you, like it does most days with him. You knew it all along, even if he never had the courage to say it—it was evident with each kiss, touch, and thrust, each bag of food he brought for you, each time he held the door open for you, each time he guided you somewhere with his strong hand on the small of your back.
You oftentimes wonder if he is your soulmate, though you already know the answer.
He makes lemonade with each lemon you give him, without complaint or judgment. And that’s all you can ask for.
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lock's otome game recs
i received some asks indicating an interest in a compilation of my favorite otome games, so i decided to go for it!! i've played about fourteen otome games, but of those fourteen, only these six left a lasting impression on me. there are still some that i intend to check out, so the rankings may update in the future. i'll give a very general overview of each game and how i'd score the categories that i find the most important in an otome game — the heroine, story, art, enjoyability, along with the characters i liked the most.
number 6 - piofiore fated memories.
heroine: 6/10 story: 6.5/10 characters: 7/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 8/10 favorite characters: dante (ishikawa kaito), nicola (kimura ryouhei) and yang (okamoto nobuhiko)
this game centers around the heroine, with the default name liliana adornato, who finds herself entangled in the politics of the region's three most prominent crime organizations. the game has an italian backdrop and iirc, takes place in the 1930s.
the overarching narrative, while it has its fair share of intrigue, isn't the game's strongest point. it's the interactions with the characters themselves that made the game feel worthwhile. each love interest has more to them than what meets the eye, so it's satisfying to watch the relationship between them and the heroine develop.
the heroine takes a passive role throughout much of the game, events sorta just happen to her. still, she has a kind disposition that makes her likable and doesn't make stupid decisions that has you wanting to fling your console across the room. her characterization changes slightly depending on the route. for instance, without getting into spoilers, she's more assertive throughout yang's route. the resulting dynamic made yang's route the most memorable, even if he's my third favorite character from the bunch.
what feels unique to this game is the effort put into the bad endings. in most visual novels, bad endings can feel like gimmicks. you make one or two wrong decisions and you're rewarded with a few paragraphs. the downward spiral of the characters in the bad endings are decently fleshed out and you can see how they arrived at this 'worst' version of themselves. they're suitably dark and it shouldn't come as a surprise that i enjoyed them because of that 😭
then there's the art. it's stunning, the details in each CG are mindboggling. the heroine gets to wear a variety of pretty outfits which is something i like to see. even in the story's weaker moments, a stunning CG would pop up that had me forgiving everything. i still glance through the gallery to this day.
number five - cupid parasite.
heroine: 9.5/10 story: 7/10 characters: 7/10 art: 9/10 enjoyability: 9/10 favorite characters: ryuki keisaiin (junya enoki) & gill lovecraft (kimura ryouhei)
iconic. showstopping. a little bit camp.
cupid parasite stars one of my favorite heroines, lynette. she works as a bridal advisor whose ambition is to ensure everyone finds their soulmate. in actuality, she's the goddess cupid, who left her post in celestia to better understand humanity and create lasting pairs. she's a delight to play as.
this game's presentation and overall aesthetic is the most distinct from any otome game i've played. aside from the presentation, the story itself is unlike any of the others on this list. when it comes to romance, i typically prefer them to be dark and mature. this game opts for a more lighthearted approach. it vacillates between being a romcom and dipping into the absurdist genre. there were times i was literally left speechless (glances at gill's route)... but it makes for an entertaining experience. the game's plenty funny as well.
personally, i enjoyed the more grounded moments when the mythological elements remained in the background. because of this, the true ending doesn't do it for me as much as they do in other games. as with anything, this is a personal preference though. i liked all of the routes and found the game handles the development of each love interest well. we're introduced to these men at their most pathetic and get to help them become a little more well-adjusted. lowering the cringe meter, if you will. it makes their growth all the most satisfying as the narrative progresses.
number four - even if tempest.
heroine: 9/10 story: 8.5/10 characters: 8/10 art: 6/10 enjoyability: 9/10 favorite characters: the heroine herself, tyril i lister (noriaki sugiyama), crius castlerock (makoto furukawa) and lucien neuschburn (kaito ishikawa)
right from the get-go, this game's premise had me hooked. it features the heroine, anastasia (<3!), who leads an incredibly tragic life. she's bestowed the ability to reverse time following each of her deaths and uses this to unravel a mess of mysteries the world's setting is tangled in.
this game is absolutely anastasia's story. without spoiling anything, i loved the approach they took with the time rewinding ability. how it's incorporated is unique to an otome game, which they take full advantage of to amplify the tragic romances. on that note, the romance itself occasionally takes a backseat to the narrative as a whole. personally, i didn't mind this in the moment, since i found the story so interesting. in retrospect, i do wish that we got more moments between the heroine and each love interest, especially in the true ending.
there are more gameplay elements here as well. you have to conduct investigations, gather evidence, and apply what you've learned during these trial segments. when i first read about this, i thought it'd be a gimmick, but i liked playing through them. it incentivizes you to pay extra close attention to the world.
while i liked the narrative as a whole, i do wish we got more worldbuilding. there are hints of political subterfuge and religious oligarchy that, while touched upon, could've been leaned into more to give the setting a distinct feeling.
number three - olympia soiree
heroine: 8/10 story: 8/10 characters: 8/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 10/10 favorite characters: akaza (yoshitsugu matsuoka), himuka (shun horie), and yosuga (yuma uchida)
in olympia soirée, the eponymous heroine, olympia, lives in a society divided into castes based on colors. she is the last surviving member of a clan that can perform rituals to keep the sun aglow. this game is a lengthier title, i believe i clocked in around 25 ish hours (i don't use auto-play so that sheds some time). the story benefits from this, as olympia has rich worldbuilding and lore that's revealed throughout the route's progression.
we get to see the consequences of this caste system and olympia's growth as she becomes determined to realize a better future for the islands. this makes the heroine someone that you want to root for. personally, i'm a sucker for stories that center around a sheltered individual being forced to face the harsh realities of the world and maturing in their own way. this, paired with the struggles specific to this setting, make for a gripping backdrop for the character's routes. all the love interests have problems of their own that they need to address.
this is certainly a mature title, there's plenty of steamy scenes featuring gorgeous artwork. seriously... all the pretty CGs are absolute eye candy. i enjoyed the balance between the main narrative and the development of the romantic relationships, i don't remember ever feeling bored.
ironically enough, i think this is the darkest game from the bunch listed here, surpassing the game with actual horror elements. there's a whole litany of trigger warnings to be mindful of when going through the game's bad ends. they are, as the term suggests, Bad. not light or humorous in the slightest. the poor heroine goes through it. please be mindful of these more touchy subjects.
number two - 9 r.i.p
heroine: 8/10 story: 8/10 characters: 9/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 10/10 favorite characters: minami (nobuhiko okamoto), hibiki (shunichi toki), kureha (toshiki masuda), and koyo (ryota suzuki)
i was looking forward to the english localization of this game before it was even announced ... i'd been wanting an otome game with this vibe for ages. and it didn't disappoint! there are four different overarching story sections, with two characters each having their routes fall under them. this makes it difficult to give a summary since each route has a vastly different feel. some routes lean heavy into supernatural horror (such as hibiki and kureha), whereas others are just... supernatural (like with yukimaro and koharu).
the basic premise is that the main character, misa, is a high school girl burdened with her career survey. she's uncertain what she wants for the future and is being pressured by his mother to pursue a career in medicine. in one way or another, depending on the story section, she comes into contact with the afterlife and those who inhabit it.
i loved this game, i couldn't put it down. the routes that leaned heavy into horror were my favorites, which shouldn't be a surprise lol. i do feel some love interests were given preferential treatment of others, i wanted more from sena's storyline in particular, since he's voiced by one of my favorite VAs (tetsuya kakihara, the voice of scaramouche) 😭... apparently this game is receiving a fandisc, so hopefully they'll remedy that in the future.
minami stole the show for me. from what i've gauged online, he's a divisive character, you either find him grating or love him (like i do). i'm biased but i do think he has the most interesting and well-written story out of the love interests, i've played through it three times already. i just adored the dynamic between him and the heroine. he's petulant, selfish, and a bit immature, yet he goes to extremes for her as he realizes his unhinged feelings.
hibiki is a close second. the most yandere-coded of the bunch, he's soft-spoken and polite, but that exterior hides a creepy personality. like all of the characters in this game, there's a tragic element to him. i was worried about the role the heroine would play in helping him 'overcome' this, but i think they handled it well. it doesn't feel like the heroine's fixing him so much as she's helping him have a different perspective on certain events.
yeah i'm not normal about this game, i cannot recommend it enough. it would've taken the top slot if some of the routes were a bit more polished. i didn't care for yukimaro's at all, for example. routes like minami's, hibiki's, and koyo's more than make up for it though.
number one - collar x malice
heroine: 10/10 story: 10/10 characters: 10/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 10/10 favorite characters: takeru sasazuka (daisuke namikawa), kei okazaki (yuki kaji), and aiji yanagi (masakazu morita)
the holy grail. the otome games that died for our sins. this isn't just a good otome game, it's an excellent story, with a very human cast, commentary on issues like the nature of crime, and you're left wanting to solve the various mysterious as much as the heroine does. speaking of the heroine, miss hoshino ichika is my all-time favorite heroine. she's clever, resolute, compassionate, and you can't help but fall in love with her a little yourself 😭😭
i'm not sure if this makes sense, but the world feels very... full? you get this sense that ichika exists outside just interacting with the love interests. she has her career, friends, and her younger brother that act as more than passing NPCs. the writers ensured all the characters with portraits are given some level of depth. i left caring about more characters than the heroine and love interests.
each route is dedicated to working through a certain case, which keeps the story intriguing as you progress. finally, all of the little hints that have been littered throughout coalesce into the 'true' route, where questions you've had since the first chapter are given satisfactory conclusions. at the same time, you're left wondering about a few things, such as the complete philosophy of the main antagonist.
ichika's relationship with each of the love interests develops alongside the case they're investigating, which almost always have connections or parallels to the LI's past. this helped ground them in reality and flesh them out into dynamic characters. you come to care deeply about them alongside ichika. the romance feels earned and doesn't come on too fast, which some otome games suffer from.
if you like otome games and haven't played collar x malice yet, i fully recommend it!!!!!!!! it's the strongest title from what i've played so far.
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Today is Erev Yom Ha'Shoah (Eve of Holocaust Memorial Day) in Israel. It will be observed by Jews outside of Israel, too.
The Hebrew date was chosen to honor the outbreak of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising. It's also a week before Erev Yom Ha'Zikaron Le'Chalalei Ma'archot Yisrael (Eve of Israel's Memorial Day for its Fallen Soldiers and Terror Victims), which is itself observed a day before Yom Ha'Atzmaut Le'Yisrael (Israel's Independence Day). A lot of people have remarked on the connection between the three dates. On Yom Ha'Atzmaut, we celebrate our independence, which allows us to determine our own fate, and defend ourselves without being dependent on anyone else, right after we remember the price in human life that we have paid and continue to pay for this independence, and a week before we mourn the price we've had to pay for not getting to have self defence during the Holocaust. NEVER FORGET that in one Nazi shooting pit alone (out of almost two thousand) during just 2 days (Erev Yom Kippur and Yom Kippur 1941), more Jewish men, women and kids were slaughtered than in the 77 years since Israel's Independence War was started by the Arabs. This unbreakable connection between the living and the dead, between our joy and our grief, is often addressed with the Hebrew phrase, במותם ציוו לנו את החיים, "With their death, they ordered us to live."
On this Erev Yom Ha'Shoah, I'd like to share with you some data, published on Thursday by Israel's Central Bureau for Statistics (source in Hebrew).
The number of Jews worldwide is 15.7 million, still lower than it was in 1939, before the Holocaust, 85 years ago (that is what a genocide looks like demographically).
7.1 million Jews live in Israel (45% of world Jewry) 6.3 million Jews live in the US (40% of world Jewry)
Here's the data for the top 9 Jewish communities in the world:
There are about 133,000 Holocaust survivors currently living in Israel. Most (80%) live in big cities in central Israel. Around 1,500 are still evacuated from their homes in northern and southern Israel due to the war (back in January, on International Holocaust Remembrance Day, there was a report about 1,894 survivors who also became internal refugees due to the war. Source in Hebrew). One Holocaust survivor, 86 years old Shlomo Mansour, is still held hostage in Gaza. He survived the Farhud in Iraq.
I haven't seen any official number for how many survivors had been slaughtered as a part of Hamas' massacre, despite everyone here being aware that Holocaust survivors had been murdered on Oct 7, such as 91 years old Moshe Ridler. Maybe, as we're still discovering that some people thought to have been kidnapped during the massacre, were actually killed on that day, no one wants to give a "final" number while Shlomo has not yet been returned alive.
Out of all Israeli Holocaust survivors, 61.1% were born in Europe (35.8% in the countries of the former Soviet Union, 10.8% in Romania, 4.9% in Poland, 2.9% in Bulgaria, 1.5% in Germany and Austria, 1.3% in Hungary, 4.2% in the rest of Europe), 36.6% were born in Asia or Africa (16.5% in Morocco, 10.9% in Iraq, 4% in Tunisia, 2.6% in Libya, 2.1% in Algeria, 0.5% in other Asian and African countries) and 2.3% were born elsewhere.
Out of all Holocaust survivors in Israel, 6.2% managed to make it here before the establishment of the state, despite the British Mandate's immigration policy against it (up until May 13, 1948). 30.5% made it to Israel during its very first years (May 14, 1948 until 1951), another 29.8% arrived in the following decades (1952-1989), and 33.5% made Aliyah once the Soviet Union collapsed, and Jewish immigration to the west (which included Israel) was no longer prohibited by the Soviet regimes (1990 on).
The second biggest community of survivors in the world is in the US, the third biggest (but second biggest relative to the size of the population) is in Australia. I heard from many Holocaust survivors who chose to immigrate there that they wanted to get "as physically far away from Europe as possible."
For a few years now, there's been this project in Israel, called Maalim Zikaron, מעלים זיכרון (uploading memory. Here's the project's site in Hebrew. In English it's called Sharing Memories, and here's the English version of the site) where Israeli celebs are asked to meet up with a Holocaust survivor (it's done in Hebrew), and share the survivor's story and the meeting on their social media on Erev Yom Ha'Shoah (which is today). Each year, there's also one non-Israeli Jewish celeb asked to participate (in English. This time around it's Michael Rapaport, he's meeting Aliza, an 81 years old survivor from the Netherlands, who was hidden along with 9 other Jewish babies for two years. He uploaded a preview of his meeting with her here, where he asked her what it means to her to be a Jew, and from what I understand, he will upload more today to the same IG account). This year, there will be an emphasis on Holocaust survivors who also survived Oct 7 (with 6 of the 20 participating survivors having survived Hamas as well). Here's a small bit from an interview with one such survivor, 90 years old Daniel Luz from kibbutz Be'eri:
(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)
#israel#antisemitism#israeli#israel news#israel under attack#israel under fire#terrorism#anti terrorism#hamas#antisemitic#antisemites#jews#jew#judaism#jumblr#frumblr#jewish#israelunderattack#shoah#holocaust
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alright, i finally finished Dragon Age the Veilguard.
tldr; 3/10. I didn't like it.
If you enjoyed the game and would rather keep enjoying it, please don't click the read more section as what follows is rather critical.
I can finally sit down with my thoughts and put them together in a more cohesive structured review, touching on most things that I wanted to address. I'll start with positives and then focus on the negatives.
Warning, this is VERY long.
Overall, I had a neutral to negative impression of DatV, which got worse by the end of the game. It had some good moments, but they were entirely unexplored and underutilized, suffering from bad writing. While the game itself is rather pretty, it didn't outweigh the dialogues, the stories and the lore butchering that took place.
1. Environment and visuals. 8/10.
I think Veilguard is a very beautiful game. I enjoyed exploring the corners of this new world, the little bits of environment design and storytelling that it had. It felt magical, certain locations were mesmerizing! I couldn't stop staring at the valley where you go to with Harding, the carcass of a titan.
2. Combat. 9/10.
I love flashy combat, I enjoy hack and slash, so until the very end of the game I was having most fun in combat. Yes there was repetitiveness but I tried to combat (hehe) it with changing my abilities and weapons every now and then. I liked combos and I liked timed parries. Enemy tactics got a bit boring by the end, but a few enemies still surprised me and challenged me.
.... That's where positives end. Now on to the negatives.
1. Characters. 2/10.
I don't understand what happened. Almost all the characters in this game were tuned down to a two-dimensional personality, "good" and "bad" - and absolutely no nuance. This happened not only to the villains, but to the different NPCs and even our companions. Their interests got narrowed down to single points of interest (Lucanis and coffee being a prime example to me), their motivations got watered down.
This is not what I expect from a Bioware game. I want to be challenged, I want to dislike characters or approve of their choices. I like characters who are messy and complex and don't always have their shit together.
I like villains who may have other reasons for their choices, other than "ba ha ha, I am so evil and I will do evil things". Where is Alexius who sold himself to the Elder one, just so he could save his beloved son? Where is Samson, forsaken by the Chantry and turned to red lyrium with his addiction? Where is Calpernia, misguided in her choices, just to free the slaves of Tevinter?
Where are the slaves of Tevinter anyway?? That's another topic.
2. Rook. 4/10.
On one hand, I liked playing Rook. They were stoic but with a humorous side, ready to get the job done, compassionate to other people.
The problem is that it's the only Rook you can really play. The protagonist is set in their ways and their dialogues and there is very little to roleplay. Rook really does feel like a gentle manager, trying to get everyone to play along nicely, while providing therapy every now and then, and is excluded from the majority of friendly interactions with other people. That awkward glance everyone gives you after their banter is embarrassing. The way you can third wheel people, the way the game actively offers you to leave a couple of animated conversations between other people - why even include those? Why not make Rook a part of the 'team'?
I did like Rook's dynamic with Solas. They got to see a different side of him, one that's not presented heavily in Inquisition. But like everything else, it felt surface level and underexplored.
3. Story arc. 2/10.
I am left unsatisfied with the story. The pacing threw me off so much nearly every quest, it was hard to stay on track. From "we need to solve this NOW" to "actually, let's all slow down and deal with our problems", the plot's priorities were all over the place. We kept hearing about the gods and their destructive oppression, but we saw surprisingly little of it. Yes, there was the Blight, yes there were Venatori and the Antaam, but they felt more like a video game fodder and dressing rather than a part of the story.
Not to mention that all of those things made little sense to me. Why would the gods align with aforementioned factions? Why would the aforementioned factions align with the elven gods? In-game explanation was not enough for me, it did not make sense. Not with the established lore in the previous games.
I also did not enjoy the ending. While the idea of Solas binding himself to the Veil is good and does make sense, what was suggested as the good ending (inviting Mythal to deal with Solas essentially) actually left me feeling awful. I sent a man, full of regrets and self-loathing, on a lonely journey to figure himself out. That... did not sit right with me at all. Neither did the fact that Northern Thedas, supposedly the point of the gods' attack, gets to live and flourish, while Southern Thedas is dying of starvation and blight. That is UNHINGED to me.
4. Music. 1/10.
There was no music. I remember one track. It was not memorable whatsoever and I can't believe they hired Hans Zimmer to do exactly nothing. Just wow.
5. Lore. ???/10.
And here is the worst offender. What was done with Dragon Age lore is unacceptable. I was doing a head-in-hands every five minutes. This was a slap in the face of so many fans who enjoyed the three prior games and delved into deep, interesting lore of various races, countries, cultures and religions. Veilguard showed a big middle finger to all that.
Everyone has already touched upon the sanitization of different factions. From the suddenly slaveless Tevinter to found family Antivan Crows, everything has been scrubbed clean and made sweet and palatable and "good".
The Dalish clans have been removed from existence as we know them. The Antaam left the Qun? Don't even get me started on that. The Chantry has no influence in this game? Really? The Chantry? The biggest religion in Thedas? The one that we know has heavy presence in the Anderfels, the Black Divine in Tevinter? That Chantry?
I think it really hit me how disrespectful the game is during the quest of saving the Dalish elves, where apparently Elgar'nan's Venatori, uplifted to be his servants and chosen people, were trying to sacrifice them. It's a gross and oddly telling idea that the ancient Elven god turned to a faction of racist mages to sacrifice elven people. I actually can't believe I'm writing this. Just how much are you going to shaft these people? Mindboggling.
There is a lot more I have to say on this specific topic, and I probably will later, but the idea is this.
6. Romances. 2/10.
Whoever said this is a game with romance lied so hard. So hard. The romance was atrocious. From the badly written flirting to the lack of romantic scenes (I romanced Davrin), to the poorly timed and awkward 'final' romance moment... It was atrocious. I felt no connection between Rook and Davrin beyond what game was telling me. My actual companions got more screen time with their romances than me and my LI.
Damn, even Evka and Antoine, my single most beloved NPCs in this game, had more romance going on that my Rook.
---
All in all, Veilguard was a massive let down. After having enjoyed the first 3 games many times over, with multiple playthroughs, I was so excited to see how the story of the Inquisition, of the elves, would end. When I saw the first trailer for VG, I knew I would never get to see it. When I played the game, I was left with disappointment and disdain.
I'm glad there are people who enjoyed this game, genuinely. I'm sure there's something to find for anyone, but it was not for me. Nor was it for many other people. It was a let down. I feel like I'll never get the conclusion I wanted - so I'll have to write my own I guess.
I have more thoughts on this game that I might be sharing, but for now this is the review I wanted to write. Thanks for reading!
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The Bronze Targaryen - 9
Summary - When (Y/N) falls injured in a battle with the mountain clans of the Vale, Rhaenyra and Daemon must travel to Kingslanding to protect Luke's claim to Runestone.
Warnings - blood and injury, violence, character death, general HOTD warnings
“I still do not understand why you could not just fly in on Vermithor and burn them out.”
(Y/N) rolled his eyes, stepping carefully over a tree root, “And burn down the forest as well?”
“It would’ve made this all go a lot faster.”
Gerold chuckled next to him, “Osric, leave him alone.”
“Both of you shut up.” (Y/N) snapped, and the two men beside him quieted. They continued to walk through the forest, careful to avoid any snapping twigs that would give their presence away to the mountain clans no doubt hiding somewhere in the trees.
It had been four moons since he’d seen his family, the most time he’d been away in six years. They’d been fighting back the clans for six moons, (Y/N) only flying out to Runestone two moons into the skirmish at Gerold’s desperate plea. (Y/N) was getting increasingly frustrated with their lack of improvement in the fight against the clans, and if they did not root them out soon he may take Osric up on his idea and simply burn the forest down with Vermithor. Gods know the dragon needed it after four moons of little activity in the Vale.
His thoughts fell back to Rhaenyra, she’d been in her sixth moon of pregnancy by now, and (Y/N) longed to be at her side on Dragonstone. She sent him letters with updates about their sons, and Daemon, but (Y/N) wished to hear her voice and witness their children's achievements with his eyes instead of reading them on a page.
The sound of a twig snapping behind them jolted (Y/N) out of his thoughts. All three of the men tensed, pausing their steps. (Y/N)’s grip on his sword tightened, and he watched as the two men beside him eyed the trees, Osric drawing back his bow string and Gerold lifting his sword up in a defensive position.
Before either of them could react an arrow whizzed through the air, catching Osric in the neck. (Y/N) watched in horror as blood pooled and leaked out of Osric’s throat, dripping down the front of his body, a shocked look crossed the man’s face before he hit the ground. (Y/N) turned to Gerold, opening his mouth but another arrow whizzed out from the trees striking his cousin in the collarbone before he could speak.
(Y/N) turned quickly and ran as a second and third arrow struck Gerold, not turning back to watch as his cousin’s body no doubt hit the forest floor dead. (Y/N) continued running, praying to the old gods that he would manage to make it back to camp before whoever was in the trees caught up with him. He cursed himself silently for only taking Osric and Gerold out on the scouting party, he was confident they wouldn’t run into trouble, the mountain clans had not been sighted anywhere near where the three men were scouting camp.
He heard the arrow before he felt it strike his shoulder, right in between the gap in his leather armor. Despite the flare of pain in his shoulder he kept running, even as a second and then third arrow hit his body, the third lodging itself in his leather armor instead of his skin; and he was grateful that he had brought some armor with him, even if it was leather. As he neared the camp, relief starting to flood his veins, a fourth arrow barely missed his calf as it whizzed by. But the shock of it caused him to stumble nonetheless. His stumble only caused him to pause for a second, but long enough for an arrow to actually lodge itself in his calf and he yelled as he tripped.
He hit his head on a branch as he went down, no doubt once again breaking his nose and probably giving himself a concussion as well. He groaned, pushing himself up and grabbing his sword from where he dropped it. He turned to face the direction the arrows were coming from, and he raised his sword up, cutting down a fifth, sixth, and seventh arrow as they flew at him from behind the trees. As he cut down the seventh arrow, an eighth one came at him from behind, striking him in his other shoulder, and as he turned to face that direction, two more arrows whizzed by, striking him in the stomach and the arm.
The force of the arrow hitting him in the arm caused him to drop his sword, and the stomach wound caused him to double over in pain, knees hitting the ground. As he hit the forest floor the adrenaline started to leave his body, the pain of the multiple arrows littering his body and the head wound making his vision swim. He swayed, falling onto his side, his vision tunneled as men approached him.
They stood over him, and one spoke. “Is he dead?”
“He will be, leave him. I want it to be painful.” Another said, and (Y/N) only had enough time to realize they were speaking the common tongue before he lost consciousness.
The dirt and sweat covering his entire body was not enough to dampen the day's mood. Syrax has laid another clutch of eggs, three this time to Daemon’s delight. The more dragon eggs that came into their possession the better, especially with Rhaenyra and (Y/N) needing an egg to place in a cradle within the next few months. The Dragonkeepers were already waiting for the prince as he climbed the hill, and he passed the saddle bag carrying the eggs off to them.
One of the Dragonkeepers passed him a piece of paper, the grim look on his face giving Daemon pause. He slowly took the parchment, looking down at the unbroken seal of House Royce.
“It is from Maester Pate of Runestone.” The dragonkeeper spoke, and Daemon gently broke the seal reading the words of the letter carefully.
To Prince Daemon and the Princess Rhaenyra,
Prince (Y/N) Royce has fallen grievously injured. He and his scouting party were ambushed not half of a league away from their camp. In the fighting, he took many wounds, most caused by arrows, and was left for dead. The wounds were severe and much blood was lost. But my greater concern is the fever that has followed. He burns from within as if his blood has been replaced with dragon fire. The Prince is strong, but I have seen blood fever take men half his age.
I fear to say this is not the only news that plagues House Royce. Lord Gunthor Royce, the Prince’s cousin, has ridden to Kingslanding, preparing to petition the court for the seat of Runestone if Prince (Y/N) is to succumb to his wounds. We must pray to the Gods that the Prince makes a full recovery, but if Lord Gunthor’s petition is accepted, the damage may be too deep to be undone.
Maester Pate
He read the message three times before the message really sank in, “I must speak with the Princess.”
He found Rhaenyra with Jace and Joffrey in the council room, she looked up as he walked in dismissing the boys and their maester. She was smiling as she took the letter Daemon held out for her, but his posture and expression seemed to give way to the grim news hidden in the parchment as her smile quickly fell upon seeing it.
Daemon watched her carefully as she read the letter. Her eyes watered at the report of her husband’s fate, and Daemon remembered that Rhaenyra had urged him to fly to help with the fighting in the Vale after they had received Gerold’s letter. Her expression quickly turned into one of anger and disbelief as she finished reading the letter.
“He means to call into question Luke’s legitimacy.” She scoffed, “And by extension, Jace, and by extension my own claim to the throne.”
“Gunthor cares only about Runestone, and the Royce line. Not about our politics.” Daemon said, hoping the words would bring his niece comfort. He doubted it as the thought did little to comfort him. “Has he made common cause with Otto Hightower yet?”
“Hm this is what I fear.” Rhaenyra frowned, worrying the paper between her fingers as she thought. “I cannot rely on my father, the vipers rule in his name according to Rhaenys. I should write to her, if nothing else she may be able to provide some advice.”
Daemon nodded, he had heard of Corlys injury and Laenor’s death leaving his daughter and Vaemond the only heirs to Driftmark should Corlys not recover from his injury. Last he heard Rhaenys was petitioning the throne pass to her and then to her granddaughters, Daemon’s daughters, upon her Lord husband's death.
“You are going to Kingslanding then?” Daemon asked, and Rhaenyra gave him a questioning look.
“Are you not?” She asked.
“I am flying to Runestone. I will join you as soon as I can.”
Rhaenyra shook her head, “No. I will accompany you.”
Daemon smiled at her, placing a gentle hand on her stomach. Since she had fallen pregnant (Y/N) had been insisting the child would be a girl, and Daemon could only hope his son would live to see her born, and even longer after that. “No. The boys need you, you must go to Kingslanding and protect Luke’s claim.”
“(Y/N) lays dying-”
“He will understand.” Daemon said. “He does not need you, your sons do.”
The look Rhaenyra gave him showed she did not like his words, but she conceded to them anyway, nodding silently. Daemon softly kissed his niece's forehead, “I will inform him of your desire to come, dear niece. Do not fret; (Y/N) is strong. You and your boys will see him again."
Daemon felt sick at the sight of his son’s bloodied body against pale sheets. He would’ve thought (Y/N) already dead if not for the wheezing of his breath and his chest moving painfully slowly. He carefully approached the bed, brushing his son’s (H/C) curls out of his face. He smoothed the sweaty and tangled mess back before pressing a soft kiss to his boy’s forehead.
His eldest son, his only son.
“Fever cannot take you,” Daemon whispered, taking a seat next to the bed. He clutched (Y/N)’s hand, cringing at the dried blood that littered his skin. There was still dirt and blood under his fingernails from the fight. “You are a dragon. This is not how you die.”
There was no indication that (Y/N) heard him, the milk of the poppy keeping him unconscious. Daemon watched silently as his son breathed in and out, he had broken a rib when he hit the ground, Maester Pate informed him. His son was lucky that he was found by the scouts sent after him after he and his group did not return at the scheduled time. If he had been lying on the forest floor for any longer, he would’ve surely died of his wounds.
Daemon cursed the Gods that let this happen to his son. It was bad enough he’d been dragged from his family to deal with a war that the Valemen should’ve been able to stop in less than a moon, but to try and take (Y/N) from him when he’d only truly had him for six years was something he could not forgive them for.
“Kepa.”
Daemon jolted out of his thoughts at the sound of (Y/N)’s raspy voice. He gently shushed him when it looked like he was going to speak again. “You will be alright, just rest.”
(Y/N) smiled, and Daemon’s heart ached. He rubbed his thumb across the top of his son’s hand in hopes of soothing him. He licked his lips, clearing his throat before speaking. “You were right, I should’ve never come back to the Vale.”
“No.” Daemon shook his head. “These are your people and you were only doing what you thought was best. That is never wrong, zaldrītsos.”
“I am not so little anymore.” (Y/N) laughed at the nickname before his face contorted in pain, and he started to cough. Daemon reached for the milk of the poppy the maester had left by his bedside, but (Y/N) stopped him. “No. No more.”
“You are in pain.”
“I am more useful when not addled by milk of the poppy.”
Daemon took his son’s face gently in his hands, “You are most useful alive.”
(Y/N) turned his head as Daemon tried to give him the milk of the poppy, and Daemon frowned at his son’s stubbornness. He placed the cup back on the table when it was clear nothing short of pouring it down (Y/N)’s throat would make him drink it.
“Rhaenyra wished to see you.” Daemon said, trying to move the conversation onto lighter thoughts. “I feared she would take off after me on Syrax as soon as I left. But she’s on her way to Kingslanding with your boys.”
At the mention of Kingslanding (Y/N) caught Daemon’s wrist, hand visibly shaking from the effort. “Gunthor-”
Daemon gently grabbed (Y/N)’s hand, taking it off of his wrist. Daemon placed (Y/N)’s hand back on the bed, covering it with his own. “I know. Maester Pate warned us of his plans.”
(Y/N) shook his head. “You must listen.”
“I am listening.” Daemon assured him, “But you mustn’t worry about Gunthor, leave him to Rhaenyra and I.”
(Y/N) ignored his father’s advice, continuing on as if he hadn’t heard him. “We cannot rely on Viserys for support. Gerold is dead, so if I die-” (Y/N) paused, swallowing before speaking again. “Gunthor is still unmarried and without an heir. Seek out Rhaenys, offer a marriage between my boys and your girls. If Luke is to be wed before Gunthor, he is a more attractive heir to the Lords of the realm.”
“Have you spoken to Rhaenyra about this?” Daemon asked, gently massaging (Y/N)’s still shaking hand.
(Y/N) nodded, “In passing. But we cannot afford to wait anymore.”
“You will live.” Daemon insisted. “You just need rest.”
(Y/N) gave him a sad smile, nodding softly but unconvincingly. His eyes started to droop, and Daemon once again reached for the milk of the poppy, holding it before his son. (Y/N) stopped him, “You must protect them. Do what you need to, just promise me you will protect them.”
“Of course.”
(Y/N)’s face hardened as best it could against the exhaustion plaguing his body. “You don’t understand. Do what you must to protect them.”
Daemon froze, giving (Y/N) a curt nod. “Drink the milk of the poppy.” Satisfied with Daemon’s answer (Y/N) finally accepted the drink. Daemon placed the empty cup back in its place, gently cupping his son’s cheek. He rubbed his thumb against the bruise on his cheek gently. (Y/N)’s cheeks were sunken, and the dark circles under his eyes mingled with the other bruises on his face. (Y/N)’s eyes closed, and Daemon kissed his cheek.
Daemon stood, making to leave, but (Y/N)’s soft voice caught his attention before they could.
“They were noblemen, father.”
Daemon froze, preparing to ask what (Y/N)’s words meant. But when he turned to look at his son he had already fallen back asleep. Daemon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, already feeling the beginnings of a headache beginning to form. He left the room, walking in the opposite direction of where Caraxes was waiting for him and toward the Maester’s chambers for more answers.
The yard was practically empty as Daemon arrived. He stepped carefully out of the carriage, scoffing at the measly introduction given by a Kingsguard.
“All hail Prince Daemon Targaryen.”
He could only hope that Rhaenyra and his grandsons were shown more respect, but he doubted that if the Hightowers were in charge of their welcome. He doubted Viserys was even aware that they were arriving in Kingslanding.
“Welcome, my Prince.” Lord Caswell greeted Daemon. The man was clearly nervous to speak with Daemon, if the mindless fidgeting was anything to go off of.
“Where is Princess Rhaenyra?”
“The Princess is in the King’s chambers.”
Daemon gave him a curt nod in thanks before stalking off into the keep. He scarcely recognized the place he once called home, and the thought that the Hightower’s influence had started to bleed into the very foundations of the keep made him sneer. Almost all the emblems of House Targaryen had been removed from the walls of the keep, replaced instead with symbols of the faith. Daemon wanted to gauge his eyes out on one of the points of the seven-pointed star.
He eventually found his way to his brother’s chambers, opening the door silently at the sound of soft voices within. He was not so quiet as to not alert his niece, who immediately looked up at him and smiled.
“Father, Daemon is here.”
“Daemon?” His brother said, and Daemon walked forward at the sound of his brother’s faint voice. The sight that greeted him turned his stomach and made him freeze. He had thought (Y/N)’s appearance was enough to give him nightmares for moons, but the sight of his brother was going to plague him till he died.
“Daemon.” His brother called out again, and Daemon approached his side cautiously. “Daemon. Help me up.” He placed a pillow behind Viserys, guiding him into a sitting position. His brother gave him a pained smile. “It’s been so long.”
“(Y/N) has taken a grave wound in battle in the Vale.” Daemon saw Rhaenyra cringe at his bluntness from the corner of his eye. He wished he could have eased into the news, but they were not here for reunions, and he’d made his son a promise.
Viserys frowned, “There is no war in the Vale.”
Daemon scowled at his brother’s words, just how far into the dark had the Hightower’s pushed him these past years? “No. The mountain clans have become restless, they have pushed in the boundaries of the Vale houses. There has been fighting for months, brother.”
Viserys’ furrowed brows were the only indication he gave that he had heard Daemon’s words.
“There is a petition to decide upon the succession of Runestone and the heir to the Runestone throne.”
“Petition?” Viserys said, confused, “Alicent and Otto…they see to all that business now.”
“No.” Daemon huffed in frustration, “Brother listen to me. You are to affirm your position for Lucerys to be my son’s successor.”
The door opened behind him as he awaited Viserys response, the soft babbling of his grandsons easing some of his tension.
“Something happened to (Y/N)?” Viserys spoke, and Daemon shut his eyes tight. He shook his head, standing and walking away from his brother.
Rhaenyra walked up to him, placing Aegon in his arms. She took Viserys from the wetnurse next, sitting on the bed in front of Daemon. Daemon pressed his cheek into Aegon’s silver locks, smiling at the sound of the babe’s attempts at words.
“Father, there is someone we wish to introduce you to.” Rhaenyra said, and Viserys looked at Daemon confused.
“Daemon.”
“Brother.” Daemon said, and Viserys looked down at the babe in his arms.
“Who is that?”
Daemon smiled, shifting his hold on Aegon so that he could show their grandson off to his brother.
“Father. This is Aegon.” Rhaenyra smiled, and Daemon brushed his finger down the boy's cheek as he tried to wiggle out of his arms.
“Aegon.” Viserys repeated, before looking at the second babe in the room.
“And this is Viserys.” Rhaenyra bounced the younger child on her hip, and Viserys broke out into a grin.
“Viserys. Now that is a name fit for a king.” Daemon chuckled softly, wondering what his brother would have said if Rhaenyra had conceded to (Y/N)’s choice of name for the babe.
Viserys groaned in pain, and the sound seemed to upset the already fussy babes as they immediately started to break out into whines and cries. Daemon gently shushed Aegon, but the babe would not be comforted by his grandfather’s soft voice. He passed him off to the wet nurse, Rhaenyra, doing the same with a crying Viserys.
“Oh, I'm sorry I-I’m sorry.” Viserys apologized mindlessly as the babes were taken out of the room. “Please. My tea. My tea.”
“This?” Daemon approached the table next to the bed, grabbing the only cup he saw.
Viserys nodded, desperately trying to reach for the cup as Daemon brought it to his lips to drink. “Yes. Yes.”
When he finished Daemon brought the cup up under his nose sniffing it carefully. He frowned at the familiar scent of milk of the poppy, it was clear as Viserys quickly fell asleep that the tea was not for pain but to keep him incapacitated.
Rhaenyra walked away from the bed closer to the doors of the chambers. “How is (Y/N)?”
Daemon sighed, running his hand down in face as he took a seat near Rhaenyra. “He is-” Daemon swallowed. “In pain, the fever has not yet broken.”
“Did you speak with the maester?” Rhaenyra asked, and Daemon nodded.
“Yes, when I got there and before I left.” Daemon took the piece of parchment Maester Pate had given him before he left out of his pocket. “(Y/N) had Pate write this when they discovered Gunthor’s plans.”
He handed the parchment over to Rhaenyra who ran her fingers over the unbroken seal gingerly. “It’s his final decree.” Rhaenyra froze at his words, and Daemon watched as she turned from him to cover up the wetness of her eyes. “It declares Luke as his heir, among other things.”
Daemon considered telling her what (Y/N) had told him as he left and what Maester Pate himself had confirmed before giving Daemon the parchment, but the look on his niece's face as she looked at the parchment in her hands made him keep his mouth shut. He would tell her later, she had too much to worry about already, and if Daemon had his way, Gunthor would be dealt with before Rhaenyra even had his to worry about retribution.
“He does not think he will live?” Rhaenyra said and it was obviously supposed to be a question but the tone in her voice told Daemon she already knew the answer. Daemon did not respond, and Rhaenyra nodded, handing the parchment back to him silently.
“(Y/N) wishes to betroth my daughters to your sons, to strengthen our alliance with the Velayrons.”
Rhaenyra nodded, “I will speak with Rhaenys.” She sighed looking at where her father was laying, still asleep in his bed. “I will also speak with Maester Gerardys. Perhaps if he could see the King he’d suggest a different-”
Rhaenyra paused as the door opened, and they both turned to look as Alicent walked into the room. Alicent gave them a smile, although it didn’t reach her eyes. “Princess Rhaenyra. And Prince Daemon.”
Daemon hummed, not even bothering to give her a smile back.
“It has been so long since we were granted the joy of your presence. Although I do wish it could be under happier circumstances.” Her eyes slid from Rhaenyra to Daemon as she spoke.
“Indeed. Your Grace.”
“Though not long enough to merit a greeting upon our arrivals.” Daemon said, and the way Rhaenyra smirked told him that she too had received a less than warm welcome back home.
“I’m sure the Queen had pressing business, Uncle.” Rhaenyra said, taking a place next to where Daemon was sitting. “What can either of us know of ruling a kingdom?”
“I do not rule as you well know.” Alicent said. “My father and I are mere stewards of the King’s will and wisdom.”
“And how exactly is that wisdom expressed…hm?” Daemon asked, looking at Alicent properly for the first time since she entered the room. “In blinks and wheezes? I’d be surprised if he could remember his own name. Or if you could.”
“King Viserys’ condition had worsened since you saw him last.” Daemon laughed, and Alicent glared. “It subjects him to considerable pain. On the advice of the maesters-”
“Ah, the maesters. Of course.” Rhaenyra barked out a fake laugh. “It is they who keep him addled on milk of the poppy while the Hightowers warm his throne.”
“Rhaenyra if you could see him without it, almost blind with suffering.”
“Oh, Alicent, I have no doubt it was an act of the purest mercy.” Daemon said, voice hard. “But tell me, for the King’s suffering, did the maesters also prescribe the removal of Targaryen heraldry and the installation in its stead of various statues and stars?”
“The emblems of the Seven serve only to guide us on an uncertain path. To remind us of a higher authority.”
“And on the morrow,” Rhaenyra walked toward Alicent, who to Daemon's chagrin stood her ground against his niece’s piercing gaze. “Which authority will sit in judgment of my son’s claim on his own inheritance?”
“That would be mine.” She paused. “And the hand’s.”
Daemon scoffed, bitterly chuckling.
“But be assured the Father is just and commands me to forget the accusations you have hurled in this room today.”
Alicent looked to the Prince and Princess, before giving another of her false smiles and walking out of the room.
Daemon watched as Otto Hightower stood in front of his brother’s throne. Rhaenyra stood beside him, eyes darting between her half-siblings and the Hightowers. Jace stood beside his mother, posture tense and mouth turned down into a frown. The boy was obviously anxious, understanding the gravity of the situation at hand, but his anxiety was nothing compared to his younger brother. Luke had been on edge since Daemon saw him last night, he cared less about the hearing of the petitions and more about his father’s health and it devastated Daemon to be unable to calm his grandson’s worries.
“Though it is the great hope of this court that Prince (Y/N) Royce survives his wounds, we gather here with the grim task of dealing with the succession of Runestone. As Hand, I speak with the King’s voice on this and all other matters.” Otto spoke, taking a seat on the Iron Throne, and Daemon frowned at how comfortable he looked there. “The crown will now hear the petitions. Lord Gunthor of House Royce.”
Gunthor Royce stepped out from the crowd, not bothering to look at the boy who’s future he was trying to ruin. He turned to address Alicent and Otto instead. “My Queen. My Lord Hand. House Royce can date their lineage back ten thousand years to the Dawn Age, we were Kings while the Targaryens were still in Old Valyria. We are the blood of the first men, not the dragon, and our blood shall stay that way until the day our house disappears.
“I have spent my entire life in the Vale defending the seat of House Royce, first at the gates of moon and then at Runestone. I am Prince (Y/N)’s closest Vale kin, his own blood. The true, unimpeachable blood of House Royce runs through my veins.”
“As it does in my sons, the offspring of (Y/N) Royce. The very spitting image of their Grandmother, Lady Rhea.” Rhaenyra spat, “If you cared so much about your house’s blood, Lord Gunthor, you would not be so bold as to supplant its rightful heir. No, you only speak for yourself and for your own ambition.”
“You will have the chance to make your own petition, Princess Rhaenyra. Do Lord Gunthor the courtesy of allowing his to be heard.” Alicent focused her gaze toward Rhaenyra and her family, voice tight. Gunthor smirked, finally turning to face Rhaenyra and Daemon.
“What do you know of Royce blood, Princess? I could cut my veins and show it to you and you still wouldn’t recognize it. This is about the future and survival of my house, not yours.” Daemon’s eyes narrowed at his tone. “My Queen, my Lord Hand, this is a matter of blood not ambition. I place the continuation of the survival of my house and my line above all. I humbly put myself before you as my cousin’s successor…the lord of Runestone.”
“Thank you, Lord Gunthor.” Otto spoke. “Princess Rhaenyra, you may now speak for your son Lucerys Royce.”
Rhaenyra took a deep breath, taking a step toward the middle of the hall. “If I am to grace this farce with some answer, I will start by reminding the court that nearly twenty years ago, in this very-”
She was cut off by the doors of the Great Hall opening. Everyone turned their attention toward the doors and Daemon’s breath caught in his throat at the sight in front of him.
“King Viserys of House Targaryen, the First of his Name, King of the Andals, and the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm.”
Everyone fell silent as they watched Viserys make his way down the hall. The layers of clothes did little to hide his frail figure, sitting loose on his body and making the drastic weight loss obvious to those in the room. He had a gold mask on one side of his face which hid the most gruesome of the damage from the crowd.
His brother paused as he walked by Rhaenyra, he gave her a small nod before turning to address Otto. “I will sit the throne today.”
“Your Grace.”
Viserys made for the steps to the throne, pushing the Kingsgaurd’s accompanying him off to make the climb himself. He only made it two steps before he doubled over, crown falling to the ground with a sharp clatter. Daemon stepped out of the crowd walking past the guards and toward his brother.
“I said I’m fine.” Viserys insisted as Daemon grabbed an arm to steady him. When he realized it was Daemon helping him he paused, face giving away his shock.
“Come on.” Daemon said, under his breath so no one but his brother could hear him. “Steady.”
He gingerly helped his brother up to sit on the throne. When Viserys was settled in his rightful seat Daemon turned, picking up the throne off the steps. Viserys bowed his head and Daemon placed the crown atop the head of his King. He gave his brother a nod, before making his way back to Rhaenyra’s side.
“I must admit my confusion.” Viserys wheezed. “I do not understand why petitions are being heard over a settled succession. The only ones present who might offer keener insight into Prince (Y/N)’s wishes are Princess Rhaenyra and Prince Daemon.”
“Indeed, Your Grace.” Rhaenyra brushed Daemon’s arm in encouragement as he stepped toward the middle. “It was my son’s wish that Runestone pass to his second trueborn son Lucerys.”
Daemon took the parchment out of his pocket, showing off the unbroken seal to the crowd. He paused as he made eye contact with Gunthor, unable to stop the smirk that graced his face at the anger in the Lord’s expression. “I have a decree, seal unbroken, stating that his mind never changed.”
He took a deep breath before his next statement. Rhaenyra had talked to Rhaenys last night, and while the elder Princess had been less than happy with the suddenness of the proposal Rhaenyra had assured him that she’d agreed. Rhaenys held no love for Daemon, only fostering Baela out of her love for his late wife. He made eye contact with Rhaenys before speaking, silently asking her permission before making the official announcement. His cousin gave him a subtle nod, and he spoke.
“As a matter of fact, Princess Rhaenyra has just informed the Princess Rhaenys and I of her and my sons desire to marry their sons Jace and Luke to my daughters, Baela and Rhaena. A proposal to which we have heartily agreed.”
“Well, the matter is settled. Again.” Viserys stated, wheezing. “I hereby reaffirm Prince Lucerys of House Royce as heir to Runestone.”
Daemon could practically feel the relief radiating from his family behind him. He gave his brother a grateful nod and stepped back toward Rhaenyra and his grandsons.
“You break law and centuries of tradition to install your daughter as heir. Yet you dare tell me who deserves to inherit the name Royce. No. I will not allow it.” Gunthor sneered at Viserys.
“Allow it? Do not forget yourself, Gunthor.”
“That is no true Royce! And certainly no cousin of mine.” At his words Daemon wrapped his hand around the hilt of his sword.
“Go to your chambers, you have said enough.” Rhaenyra hissed at Gunthor. She took a step in front of her sons, allowing Daemon to step closer to Gunthor.
“Lucerys is the true-born grandson of Prince Daemon and I. You’re no more than the second son of a second son of Runestone” Viserys said.
“You may run your house as you see fit. But you will not decide the future of mine. House Royce is the blood of the First Men. We are ancient kings, and I will not allow our bloodline to end on account of these dragon-” He paused on his words, and Daemon remembered his son's warning. Gunthor does not care about the rumors spread by Alicent, his hatred for Daemon and (Y/N) drives him.
“Say it like you believe it, Lord Gunthor.” Daemon challenged.
“Her children are dragon bastards!” He yelled, words echoing through the now silent hall. Daemon slipped from his spot next to Rhaenyra unnoticed. “And she is a whore.”
“I will have your tongue for that.” Daemon heard Viserys say as he raised his sword, still unnoticed by everyone in the room.
Do what you must to protect them.
Daemon brought his sword down as his son's plea echoed through his head, and in one clean slice, Gunthor’s head rolled off his body onto the floor, the rest of him hitting the floor with a thud seconds later. Daemon looked at the body, and the hall broke out into yells. The man who had plagued (Y/N) for nearly twenty years, who most likely ordered his death, fell with a single swing of the sword. It was almost laughable how easy it was.
“Disarm him!” Otto yelled, and Daemon held his hands up in surrender.
“No need.” He wiped his sword with a piece of cloth before sheathing it.
Before anyone could respond Viserys collapsed atop the throne. Raised panic voices echoed through the hall as both Rhaenyra and Alicent ran toward Viserys. Daemon turned toward his grandsons, motioning to Jace to leave the room. Jace nodded, taking Luke’s arm and dragging him out of the room. Daemon watched, frozen in place, as the Grand Maester and Alicent helped carry his brother out of the room.
Daemon could feel the absence of (Y/N) by his side like a burn. The empty seat between him and Rhaenyra drew his eye every time he turned his head. Jace and Luke refused to look at it, focusing directly on their newly betrothed. The people around the table sat deliberately in silence as they waited for Viserys to make his way to the dinner, Daemon nursing his cup of wine as Rhaenyra turned her attention to Alicent every so often.
The door opened, and everyone stood as Viserys was carried into the room. He was placed between his daughter and his wife, and as soon as the guards took a step back to take their place by the door everyone took their seats.
“How good it is to see you all tonight.” Daemon grimaced at the strain in his brother’s voice. “Together.”
“Prayer before we begin?” Viserys nodded. “May the Mother smile down on this gathering with love. May the Smith mend the bonds that have been broken for far too long. And to Gunthor Royce, may the gods give him rest.”
Daemon gave a bitter chuckle, which drew an amused look from his niece.
“This is an occasion for celebration, it seems.” His brother smiled, “My grandsons, Jace and Luke, will marry their aunts, Baela and Rhaena, further strengthening the bond between our houses. A toast to the young Princes and their betrothed.”
“Hear, hear!” He called out, giving a smile to both his grandsons and his daughter as he raised his cup. He watched as Aegon whispered something to Jace, which caused the boy to frown.
“Let us toast as well Prince Lucerys, the future Lord of Runestone.” Everyone raised their cups again.
Aegon once again turned to Jace to whisper something in his ear, this time Jace responded. His words were too low for Daemon to make out but his face gave away his anger. Viserys interrupted the two men before anyone else could respond.
“It both gladdens my heart and fills me with sorrow to see these faces around the table. The faces most dear to me in all the world yet grown so distant from each other in years past.” His brother stood, breath coming in short gasps as he struggled. He took the gold mask off his face, and Daemon winced at the sight of his rotted face. His right eye was completely gone, and his cheek was rotten and sunken. “My own face is no longer a handsome one if indeed it ever was. But tonight I wish you to see me as I am. Not just a king, but your father, your brother, your husband, and your grandsire. Who may not it seems walk for much longer among you. Let us no longer hold ill feelings in our hearts. The crown cannot stand strong if the House of the Dragon remains divided. But set aside your grievances. If not for the sake of the crown, then for the sake of this old man who loves you all so dearly.”
Viserys took a seat, body trembling with the effort of standing for so long. Rhaenyra shifted uncomfortably in her seat, before grabbing her cup and standing. She looked around before clearing her throat and beginning to speak, “I wish to raise my cup to her grace the Queen. I love my father, but I must admit that no one has stood more loyally by his side than his good wife. She has tended to him with unfailing devotion, love, and honor. And for that she has my gratitude and my apology.”
“Your graciousness moves me deeply, princess. We are both mother’s, and we love our children. We have more in common than we sometimes allow.” Alicent stood, cup in hand. “I raise my cup to you and to your house. You will make a fine queen.”
Alicent took a seat, and Daemon picked his cup up to take a drink of the wine. He was interrupted by Jace standing quickly, giving Aegon a dirty look as he did. Aemond followed his league, gaze trained on Jace. Daemon watched the three men stare at each other, grip on his cup tightening.
Finally Jace spoke, picking up his cup. “To Prince Aegon and Prince Aemond. We have not seen each other in years but I have fond memories of our shared youth. And as men I hope we may yet be friends and allies. To you and your family’s health, dear uncles.”
“To you as well.” Aegon said, clearly unhappy with the result of his relentless teasing.
Haelena stood next, smiling as if the tensions of the evening were completely lost on her. “I would like to toast Baela and Rhaena. They’ll be married soon. It isn’t so bad, mostly he just ignores you. Except sometimes when he’s drunk.”
He barked out a sudden laugh, covering it up with his hand. His brother asked for music, and the tensions dissipated from the room. Jace stood from his seat, offering his hand to his aunt Haelena and taking her to the middle of the room, where they began to dance. Daemon smiled softly at the sight, turning to catch Rhaenyra’s eye. She, too, was staring at the sight, and Daemon could tell it reminded her of her own similar dance with (Y/N) nearly twenty years ago.
Rhaenyra caught his eye and blushed.
“You miss him.” Daemon stated, and Rhaenyra nodded. She ran her fingertips along the edge of her cup, smiling softly to herself as she did. Daemon reached across, pointedly ignoring the empty chair, to rest his hand on his niece’s arm. “A fever will not take him from you, he is too stubborn for that.”
Rhaenyra laughed, “He is his father’s son.”
She touched Daemon’s hand in gratitude, she looked to where Luke was speaking to Rhaena. Daemon followed her gaze, smiling fondly at the sight. “I fear I may be made a grandsire again soon.”
Rhaenyra’s hand fell to her stomach, “Let us hope it will be a few years. There are too many babes in this family already.”
Daemon chuckled, but his amusement quickly died as he watched the guards take his brother out of the room. Everyone paused their activities watching the King silently as he was carried out. Servants entered the room shortly after placing more food on the table, but the mood was too damaged to return to its previous lightness. Daemon startled slightly as Aemond stood, table clinking under the weight of his hands landing on top of it.
“Final tribute.” He looked around the room, raising his cup. “To the health of my nephews, Jace, Luke, and Joffrey. Each of them handsome, wise…strong.”
“Aemond.” Alicent warned, but Aemond ignored her.
“Come let us drain our cups to these three…strong boys.”
“I dare you to say that again.” Jace challenged, and Rhaenyra tensed next to Daemon.
“Why? ‘Twas only a compliment. Do you not think yourself strong?” Aemond approached Jace, who rounded quickly on his uncle throwing a punch. He missed as Aemond dodged the first and soon all the children were out of the seat. Aegon had Luke pinned to the table and Aemond had pushed Jace to the floor. The guards separated the boys as Daemon stood and watched the action. Alicent had grabbed Aemond, harshly whispering in his ear.
Aemond spoke up halfway through his response to his mother. “-though it seems my nephews aren’t quite as proud of theirs, perhaps if they had their father’s eyes-”
Jace tried to break the guards hold on him, but Daemon took a step between the families before he could. “Wait! Wait!”
“Go to quarters. All of you go, now.” Rhaenyra ordered her sons. They mumbled under their breath, shooting glares at their uncles, but they turned and allowed themselves to be escorted out. Daemon leveled a glare at Aemond, raising an eyebrow in challenge at the young man. Aemond huffed, shaking his head as he followed his nephews out.
“It’s best I think if we go back to Dragonstone.” Rhaenyra said, and Alicent took his hand in hers. Daemon raised an eyebrow at the sight.
“You’ve only just arrived,” Alicent said, finger rubbing along the scar she herself gave to Rhaenyra as she spoke.
“Let me see the children home, and I’ll return on dragon back.” Rhaenyra said softly, “I have to fly to Runestone anyway.”
“The king and I would both like that.”
“My Prince you should not-”
(Y/N) waved the maester off, continuing to limp slowly down the steps; cane held so tightly his knuckles were white with the strain. He had practically leaped, as much a man in his condition could, when he saw the ships approach the shore of Dragonstone, signaling the return of his family.
Maester Pate had almost wrung his neck when (Y/N) informed him of his plans to return to Dragonstone on Vermithor when his fever finally broke. He probably would have if (Y/N) was not the Lord of Runestone, but he allowed the Prince to leave Runestone. (Y/N) had all but collapsed from the pain when he landed on Dragonstone, his last thought before he hit the ground was that Maester Pate would be laughing if he could see the Prince now. When he woke, the maesters of Dragonstone told him he was a fool for trying to fly while his injuries were still healing, but (Y/N) had just brushed them off and asked for something to alleviate the pain.
He watched now as his family made their way up the beach. His sons caught sight of him first, the eldest three breaking into a run toward him. Jace grabbed Joffrey and lifted him into his arms before the young boy could run straight into his father. (Y/N) gave him a grateful nod, and Jace smiled.
“Father,” Jace said. “Mother said you were at Runestone with a fever.”
“I got better.” Luke leaned into his side, careful not to aggravate his father’s wounds. He did not speak, but (Y/N) could see the events of the past weeks were weighing heavily on the boy. He ran his fingers through the boy’s hair, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “I will meet you inside after I speak with your mother.”
His sons made their way inside, but not before (Y/N) pressed a kiss to Joffrey and Jace’s cheeks. The maids carrying his youngest sons were next, and the two babbled and grabbed at their father as they walked by. He pressed soft kisses into their soft white hair before allowing the maids to carry them inside as well.
Daemon rushed him, bringing him in tight and (Y/N) grunted in pain as his wounds pressed into his father. At the sound of his son in pain his father released him, worrying painting his face. He grabbed (Y/N)’s face, “Are you alright?”
“I am better.” (Y/N) smiled, allowing his father to press a kiss to the top of his head. “I heard what you did, and I thank you. For protecting them, father.”
“You do not need to thank me.” Daemon said into his hair. “I told you once I would provide you with anything you needed and I meant it.”
Daemon pulled back, taking (Y/N)’s appearance in completely. “Did you fly here?” He sighed at (Y/N)’s guilty look, “Remember that you are not seven and ten anymore, my boy. You cannot afford to be so reckless with your life.”
“Uncle.” Rhaenyra cleared her throat behind Daemon. “May I have a moment with my husband.”
Daemon gave (Y/N) a smile, pressing one last kiss to his cheek before leaving. Rhaenyra looked downright murderous at the sight of her husband, and (Y/N) sighed. “I have been lectured enough these past days, Rhaenyra. I am aware I should not have flown so soon after-”
(Y/N) was cut off by Rhaenyra grabbing him and crushing their lips together. She pressed their foreheads together, breathing heavily when they broke apart. “I thought I would never see you again.”
“It is not yet my time to join my ancestors.” Rhaenyra laughed wetly, running her thumbs across his cheeks.
“We have much to talk about.” Rhaenyra said softly. “Your cousin is dead, and Luke’s position is secure.”
(Y/N) nodded, “I am glad.”
“Daemon did not tell me much at Kingslanding. I think he feared whispers being heard by the wrong ears.”
(Y/N) nodded, offering the hand not holding his cane to his wife. She smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, before taking his hand. “Come, I will tell you everything over dinner.”
---
Translations -
Kepa - Father
Zaldrītsos - Little Dragon
#edited and rewrote this so many times#and I still kinda hate it#x male reader#house of the dragon#x reader#x y/n#house of the dragon x male reader#daemon targaryen#house of the dragon x y/n#rhaenyra targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen x male reader#rhaenyra targaryen x reader
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HEY!
all these tweets were made for me and me only, but then i thought! why not share these? so be warned! it’s all horribly ooc, self indulgent, and canon is my bitch
the only ocs are civilians, every other character is canon in some way. also! everyones id is secret unless stated otherwise
finally the au itself is a mixture of many dc media. There will be NO lore or angst, at least for the time being. it’s a crack au!
MASTERLIST:
part 1 [carrie kelley!!]
part 2 [the REAL third robin! and… jarro]
part 3 [gacha phase]
part 4 [bf to bff]
part 5 [lore goes crazyyyy 🔥]
part 6 [verification]
part 7 [best friend?]
part 8 [fast typer]
part 9 [children]
part 10 [big family]
part 11 [public ids and time travel]
part 12 [dayshift]
part 13 [among us]
part 14 [stolen users and priv shenanigans]
part 15 [suspended]
part 16 [manga]
part 17 [speedsters]
part 18 [zesti cola]
part 19 [only in fawcett]
part 20 [dinaholliearrow ftw]
part 21 [arrowfam vs jason]
part 22 [smash or pass]
part 23 [family tree complications]
part 24 [the return of jason]
part 25 [game theory (don’s version)]
part 26 [jason’s favorite]
part 27 [its an assortment]
part 28 [west twins]
part 29 [arrowfam vs young justice]
part 30 [batfam shenanigans]
part 31 [time rip]
part 32 [another assortment]
part 33 [names]
part 34 [news coverage]
part 35 [gotham polls]
ships currently canon: clark/lois, oliver/dinah, barry/iris, wally/linda, ace/emiko, tim/bernard, duke/isabella, dick/koriand’r, stepanie/cass every other ship is implied because why tf not
tags: [#oocDC tweets] [#oocDC yapathon] [#oocDC polls] [oocDC faq] [admin art]
ADMIN'S STRAWPAGE
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Single Dad!Eddie x Fem!Reader Series
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19
Summary: A trip to the thrift store becomes overwhelming for Harris, and you and Eddie have to work as a team. But the real test of your relationship's strength is the crisis that unfolds days later.
Warnings: financial insecurity, school lock-in, missing child, police presence, mention of kidnapping, mention of drug addiction, blood (no gore)
WC: 8.5k
Chapter 19/20
Divider credit to @saradika
Eddie has already been awake for two hours when the phone rings. One part of parenthood that he hadn’t anticipated is that children do not understand the concept of weekends. Harris had flung himself out of his racecar bed promptly at 6:30 in the morning, crawling under Eddie’s sheets and poking his nose until he woke up.
“Har, go back to sleep,” Eddie had grumbled, the last word extended in a whine. One cheek was smushed against his pillow, muffling his complaint. “It’s Saturday; you don’t have school.”
In response, Harris pursed his lips into a perfect pout and used his thumb to peel Eddie’s eyelid open, getting as close to his face as possible. His morning breath was tinged with the scent of chocolate; Eddie groggily made a mental note to better supervise his nighttime teeth brushing routine.
“‘M hungry.”
That’s how Eddie finds himself pouring his third cup of coffee while his son keeps his eyes glued to the TV screen, watching Doug stutter and stammer in front of Patti. Eddie smiles, a blush creeping into his cheeks when he realizes that that’s probably what he looks like around you.
“‘Lo?” He cradles the receiver between his ear and his shoulder, wincing as he clumsily clinks the carafe into place. There isn’t enough coffee left to slosh over the side, a small miracle in and of itself, although he’ll have to brew some more if the caffeine doesn’t kick in soon.
“Hey, baby.” Your voice is sleepy yet sweet, smoothing all the creases of the morning. “Did I wake you up?”
Eddie laughs and takes a sip from his favorite mug, the one that proudly declares #1 Dad. It’s stained and chipped, but he’ll never throw it out. Wayne had bought it for him on his very first Father’s Day; ironically, Eddie had bought him a #1 Grandpa mug that year, probably from the same kiosk at the mall.
“Not even close,” he says, tongue flicking to the corner of his lip to catch the drip of coffee that’s pooled in the crevice. “Someone was up bright and early this morning.” His gaze flits over to the bowl of Cheerios snug between Harris’s criss-crossed legs, mostly uneaten despite his earlier protests that would make an outsider believe he was starving. “How was your sleep?” he asks, swinging back to your conversation.
You switch the phone from one ear to the other. “It was good. Would’ve been better if you were next to me, though,” you add, twirling the cord around your forefinger. If you could, you would capture the safety of his embrace and bottle it, releasing a bit each time you craved his gentle touch. “I might’ve even let you be the little spoon.”
He balks at this with a playful scoff, nearly spilling his coffee with the sudden movement. “Yeah, right,” he chuckles, licking the side of the mug before the bitter liquid can slide off and hit the ground. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”
Admittedly, his skepticism is rooted in truth; whenever you do get the chance to cuddle in bed, he’s always the one wrapping his arm around your waist, often taking the opportunity to snake a hand up your shirt and let the pads of his fingers brush over your breasts. It isn’t always a display of sexuality or desire–though you can’t say you mind that–but a connection, a way of ensuring that you stay close.
“Just a few more weeks until we get to find out for ourselves,” you tease, though he needs no reminding. Only sixteen days remain until you officially move in together, and he’s not ashamed to admit that he’s counting down. “Speaking of which,” you continue, glancing at the clock, “I was wondering if you and Harris wanted to do some furniture shopping for his new room.” You knew that he would be keeping his racecar bed; it’s unlikely he’ll part with it until he’s outgrown it completely. “Y’know, a new dresser or nightstand or something.”
There’s an extended pause on Eddie’s side of the line. You think the call dropped and are about to hang up and redial when you hear him say, “I, um…I don’t get paid until next week…” He nervously scratches the countertop with one fingernail.
“Oh.” You grapple with a response, trying to strike a balance of empathy without condescension. “Well, I was going to surprise you, but I sold some of Grandma’s old—”
“No way,” Eddie interjects, firmly but not harshly. “I’m not having you spend your money on me. We can just wait until payday.”
“I want to buy this for Harris. I…I probably should have cleared out Grandma’s room months ago, but I couldn’t. I mean, I could, but it felt wrong because I had nothing to put in its place.” You don’t care that you’re babbling on, forging ahead with your impromptu monologue. “It would’ve been too empty, but with you and Harris here, it won’t be empty anymore.”
Eddie tucks his thumbnail between his teeth. “Are you sure?” he prods, not wanting to sound ungrateful.
“Positive.” You’re much more assured in your reply. “If she knew Harris before she got sick, she would’ve spoiled the hell out of him, anyway.” The moment she saw him happily digging into the Oreos, she would have ensured that the cupboard remained stocked with Double Stuf. “In a way, s’like she gets to spoil him now.”
You can sense Eddie’s resistance tempering with an audible exhale. “He’s an easy kid to love, that’s for sure,” he muses, buying time to process the influx of emotions flooding his body. There’s the obvious gratitude that you’re so eager to take care of his son, but it’s cut with the insecurity of him not being able to do so. If you’re going to buy Harris furniture, it should be because you want to, not because he can’t. What if you hold this against him? What if, in the future, there’s an argument and you fire back with a retort about his shortcomings as a father?
Except…you have never done that. Ever. Not that night in the emergency room, or when you’d found out about the CPS report filed that evening. Not even when Eddie had made it his personal mission to tear you down, pulling insults from the depths and hurling them at you with reckless abandon.
You hadn’t brought up the way he’d helplessly panicked when confronted with the possibility of Harris’s learning disability, or how he’d let anxiety overtake him when he officially received a classification. With everything the two of you had endured, you’d never once echoed his anxieties about his parenting abilities; it was quite the opposite. With you by his side, he feels as though he can take on whatever challenge life chucks at him.
“Eds? Is everything okay?” Your tone is thick with concern; Eddie realizes that you probably think you’ve upset him. “We don’t have to go—we can do something else, or—”
“Sweet girl,” he says in one exhale, both to reassure you and to remind himself that you’re his, and he’s yours. Love surges through the phone lines when he speaks. “We can pick you up in an hour, if that works? I should be able to wrangle Harris by then.”
“Y’sure?” And, Christ, how his heart sinks when you shrink inward, reflexively making yourself smaller when you’re worried that you’ve offended someone.
Eddie doesn’t answer you directly, instead, calls out his son’s name. “Hey, Harris?” He frowns when Harris completely ignores him in favor of watching the cartoon. Using his free hand, he cups his mouth in a makeshift megaphone, amplifying his voice. “Harris Wayne Munson!”
The sudden sound jolts him out of his TV-induced stupor. “Huh?”
“Go get dressed and brush your teeth; we’re gonna go shopping with Ms. Sweetheart!” Eddie grins as Harris turns to him with a wide smile of his own. “C’mon, let’s go!”
Harris jumps up without further hesitation, inadvertently tossing his bowl from the makeshift table of his legs. Milk splatters, instantly soaking into the carpet, and the Cheerios topple out and land in a soggy pile. “Nooo, my bref-ist!” His big eyes well up with tears. “Daddy, you made me drop my bref-ist!”
“You, uh, wanna deal with that?” You can’t hide your amusement at the usual Munson chaos.
“Probably should, huh?” Eddie jokes back, stretching the phone cord as far as he can and reaching for the paper towel roll. “I love you, babe. See you in a bit.”
“I love you, Eds,” you tell him. “And Harris, too, of course.”
Some more static and shuffling; then, an energetic voice greets you. “Hi Ms. Sweetheart! Daddy made me drop my bref-ist,” the little boy reports.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Har.” You’ve perfected the art of mustering up sympathy for children’s not-soearth-shattering issues, a skill that every preschool teacher must possess. “Why don’t you help him clean up? That way, I can see you even faster.”
Harris pauses, mulling over his options. “Yeah, okay! Gotta go! Bye!”
You hear the clunk of him struggling to replace the phone on the hook, followed by Eddie saying, “Let me say good-bye before you hang—” click.
Pulling your own receiver from your ear, you stare at it with mild amusement. Never a dull moment with my boys.
Your boys drive up to your building just over an hour later. You stand up from the bench outside the entrance and smooth down your shorts where they’ve creased.
“Hey, Sweetheart.” Eddie lets the pet name roll off of his tongue. He wants to kiss you as you slide into the passenger seat, but he withholds his affection for Harris’s sake. It seems silly, considering you’ll all be living together, but he doesn’t know how his son will react to the romance aspect of it. Will he be happy? Excited? Disgusted by any display of affection?
You give his hand a subtle squeeze, turning around to greet Harris. “Ready to shop till we drop?”
“Till we drop?” Harris wrinkles his nose, glancing between you and his dad. “Why would we drop?”
“It’s just an expression,” you explain, catching a glimpse of the smile tugging at the corners of Eddie’s mouth. “Just means that we’re going to shop until we’re too tired to shop anymore.”
“I never get tired,” Harris declares, sticking his legs straight out so his flexed feet push up against the back of the driver’s seat, nudging Eddie slightly forward. “Grampa Wayne calls me an ‘Energizer Bunny.’” He bounces up and down in his booster seat to prove his point.
Eddie reaches his right arm around, keeping his left firmly gripping the wheel, as he moves Harris’s feet from where they’re planted into his lower back. “So, Har,” he starts, easing his weight onto the brake as he approaches a red light, “we’re gonna look for a new dresser for you, and maybe a nightstand.” He takes a deep breath as he delivers the news: “That means we’re not making any pit stops for toys. Got it?”
You want to interject, to let Eddie know that you don’t mind splurging on a small treat for Harris, but you bite it back. Whether or not you have the spare funds is irrelevant: this is the boundary he’s set for his son, and you have to respect it, regardless of your desire to spoil him.
Harris, however, does not accept the announcement as readily. “Not even, like, a little one?” he presses, holding his thumb and forefinger a millimeter apart. “Even if I’m really, really good?” He gives a hopeful smile, eyes blinking expectantly.
Eddie looks at you, serving as your cue to provide your input. You nod your approval, trying to hide your delight in being asked to make a parenting decision, regardless of how menial it may seem. He peers up through the rearview mirror at his son’s waiting face. “If you’re really, really good,” he acquiesces, features pinching into a grimace when Harris’s exuberant squeal echoes through the sedan. “You have to use your inside voice and stay next to us the whole time. Deal?”
“Deal,” Harris confirms. “Deal, Ms. Sweetheart?”
“Deal.” Laughter bubbles up inside you and you let it spill out uninhibited. You know that telling a child he can get a toy is an easy part of parenthood, but you silently swear to never take for granted being included in that choice. Harris joins you, though he’s not quite sure why he’s laughing, but your joy is contagious.
You lean your head against the car window, listening to the buzz of the radio filling the silence. Harris hums along, more on-key than the average five-year-old, which you can safely attribute to him having a musician for a dad.
“I’m not getting a new bed, right?” Harris says with sudden urgency. “Because I wanna keep my racecar bed.”
“Mhm,” you affirm, smiling when Harris relaxes back against the headrest. “Your racecar bed will be in your new room, don’t you worry.”
“Okay.” That response satisfies him until he thinks up another question. “An’ you’re bringing your bed, Daddy?”
Eddie chuckles as he pulls into the Goodwill parking lot. He picks a spot close to the store, right next to a green Ford with a faded “Clinton ‘96” bumper sticker. “Um, no. I’m not bringing my bed.”
“So are you getting a new bed?” His eyes dart from side to side as he assesses the size of the car. “Where’s it gonna fit?”
“I’m, uh, not buying a new bed, either.” Eddie kills the engine and unbuckles his seatbelt, swiveling to face Harris, who is more confused than ever. “Ms. Sweetheart and I are going to share her bed.”
Harris kicks his feet, processing this new information. “But you didn’t get married yet,” he points out, “so how can you share a bed?”
You rest your palm on Eddie’s forearm in quiet reassurance. “Some people share a bed before they get married,” you explain simply, knowing that less is often more when talking to young children.
“When are you gonna get married?” he asks, more curious than meddling. “Because it’s taking forever. My friends’ mommies and daddies are already married.”
Eddie doesn’t acknowledge the fact that Harris essentially referred to you as his mommy; instead, he slowly exhales. “I’d like to marry Ms. Sweetheart someday, and I think she’d like to marry me, too.” He looks over at you with a sheepish grin, and you give his hand an agreeing squeeze. “But, for now, we’re just going to try out living together. How does that sound?”
“I guess that’s okay.” Harris isn’t completely thrilled with his dad’s response, but he relents anyway.
“While, we’re, uh, on the subject,” Eddie continues, the tips of his ears flushing pink as he carefully considers his words. He chews on the inside of his lower lip. Is he really doing this? Is he opening his son up to this relationship? “You know that Ms. Sweetheart and I love each other very much, right?”
“Mhm.”
“Sometimes,” Eddie continues with only some trepidation, “sometimes, when grown-ups love each other a lot, they hold hands o-or kiss. Would that be weird for you? If Ms. Sweetheart and I held hands, or kissed?”
You avert your gaze, partly from bashfulness but mostly so Harris doesn’t feel any pressure from either of you.
The little boy looks at the car’s ceiling, centering his focus on the overhead lighting. Finally, with utmost certainty, he declares, “just no tongue-kissing.”
You snort out a laugh while Eddie goes bright red and sputters, “where did you learn about that?”
“Young and Restless,” Harris reports nonchalantly.
Eddie rubs his eyes, pressing his thumb and forefinger to his lids until his vision blurs. “Remind me to tell Wayne to stop letting him watch the soaps,” he grumbles to you, turning back to his son. “Yeah, no tongue-kissing.”
You easily lace your fingers with Eddie’s as you walk through the front doors of the Goodwill. Harris starts making a beeline for the toys, but Eddie uses his free hand to pivot him in the direction of the furniture department. Harris huffs but complies, trudging alongside you.
There’s a bright blue nightstand on display that immediately catches his eye. “Look!” he points, smiling so wide that all of his baby teeth are on display, “can I get it? Please?”
Eddie smiles warily, flipping over the white tag hanging from one silver drawer handle. He breathes a small sigh of relief when he sees the price is within the range of what he’d like to spend; rather, what he’d be comfortable asking you to spend.
“Looks like we’ve got a winner,” he says, posture straightening with the announcement. He runs his fingertips over the surface, checking for any chipping paint or splintering wood, but the finish appears to be intact. “I’ll go tell someone to set it aside for us.”
He sets off in search of an employee, leaving you alone with Harris. You swallow the nervousness building in your throat. You spend nearly every day taking care of children, but you’re suddenly inundated with the memory of losing him at the flea market. Those few minutes when you couldn’t locate him were some of the scariest of your life.
And yet, it hadn’t prevented Eddie from giving you another chance.
“Are you excited to move in with me, Har?” you ask, reaching out to ruffle his curls.
He nods, then looks straight up at you so that you’re staring at his nostrils. “Ms. Sweetheart?” The position of his neck changes his voice’s pitch so it’s froggy. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Can you marry my daddy?” His eyes shine with potential. “And then you can be my mommy for real?”
You crouch down to his height, heart melting at his request. “Harris, I love your daddy very, very much. And I love you very, very much, too.” You poke his nose gently, and he giggles. “Being married is a big responsibility—”
“‘Sponsibility?”
“Mhm. Responsibility. It means a really important job.” You slide your heart pendant across the chain on your neck anxiously. “And your daddy and I want to make sure that we’re ready for that kind of responsibility before we do anything, okay?”
Harris nods, but you can tell from his crinkled nose and furrowed brows that he doesn’t fully understand. You can’t blame him; it’s an abstract concept, one that even you often have trouble comprehending. “But I can tell you one thing: whenever your daddy wants to propose, I’ll say ‘yes.’” You smile at the thought of Eddie asking you to be his wife.
“Is that where he gets down on one knee and asks ‘Will you marry me?’” You’re about to respond when he adds, “and then someone runs in and yells about being their long-lost ‘dentical twin?”
Yeah, no more soap operas for Harris.
Finding a dresser proves to be a much more difficult task than picking out the nightstand. Everything that Harris likes is out of budget, and everything within budget is too worn down or small. There’s one that’s in good condition and isn’t too pricey, but it’s covered in hand-painted unicorns.
“That’s for girls!” Harris groans, stomping his feet. The last word is stretched in a whine. “I can’t have girl stuff!”
“We can paint over it. Whatever color you want,” you quickly jump in, trying to avoid a meltdown, but your efforts are fruitless. Fat tears stream down his cheeks; he’s already determined that the dresser is tainted.
“No! No, no, no!” he howls, throwing himself on the floor. He smacks down on his tailbone, fanning his tantrum’s flames. He quiets for a moment, too shocked to cry, but then he’s screaming louder than before.
It’s as though he’s lost control of his body, arms and legs knocking into the lower shelves without care. You can’t block him in time before he knocks over a lamp—a Nickelodeon-themed one that would have been perfect in his new room, ironically—and it shatters on the ground. Ceramic splinters, scattering across the linoleum like roaches in the light.
People start to stare, some with sympathetic looks, and some glare angrily at the child daring to interrupt their shopping. Eddie’s face blazes, vision swimming as he wracks his brain for a solution.
You’re faster, slapping a few bills into Eddie’s palm and jolting him from his thoughts. He watches you scoop Harris off of the floor, trying to avoid his flailing limbs.
“Go get the nightstand and pay for the lamp,” you tell him, straightforward and precise. “I’ll get him to the car and calm him down. Keys?”
Eddie blinks, the information swirling around him but not quite penetrating the surface. It’s when you hoist Harris onto one hip and balance his weight in one hand, using the other to make a ‘gimme’ motion that it registers.
“Y-Yeah, sorry.” Eddie fumbles for the car keys and tosses them to you, the two of you working in tandem. A well-oiled machine. You nod gratefully, wincing as Harris’s foot makes contact with your thigh. “I’ll be right out.”
You’re able to bring him to the car, struggling to unlock it and hold on to Harris. After a few failed attempts, you manage to open the passenger door and sit him on the seat.
“Harris, hey, Harris?” you start, keeping your voice soft and even while trying to pull his attention. His sobs are slowing down but he’s definitely breathing too rapidly for your comfort. “Hey, bud. You’re okay, all right?” You extend your hand and he tentatively places his own palm on top of it. “You wanna give my hand a squeeze?”
He does it, the motion grounding him enough that he can focus on your body in front of him. You don’t want to touch him, knowing that his senses are already overstimulated from the tantrum. Instead, you relax as his squeezing grows stronger and his breaths gradually even out.
“There ya go, Har. Just like that.” You smile warmly. “That was a really big feeling, huh?”
“Uh-huh.” His voice shakes and hiccups. He swipes at the tears on his cheeks, smudging them into his skin.
You reach into the center console and grab a tissue, wiping the mucus from his nose and lips. “Good as new.” With no trashcan nearby, you shove the used Kleenex into your pants pocket. “Can you tell me what made you so mad in there?”
“D-Don’t want girl…girl st-stuff,” he stutters through ragged breaths.
There’s a time and place to discuss the optics of categorizing interests into ‘boy’ and ‘girl,’ but you know better than to have that conversation now. “Oof, that’s why you were angry! That’s a lot to handle.” You gingerly tuck a curl behind his ear. “But, Harris, did you see what happened when you started hitting and kicking?” He shakes his head. “Well, you knocked over a lamp and it broke. You could have gotten hurt, or someone else could have gotten hurt.”
Harris’s face falls as you speak, absorbing what you’re explaining. “I-I didn’t mean to,” he sniffles. “‘M sorry.”
“I know you didn’t mean to,” you sigh, “sometimes, when we have big feelings like getting angry, we do things we shouldn’t without even realizing.” You pause for a moment, biting your lip as you consider your words. “Do you want to hear what helps me when I have really big feelings and I can’t scream and cry?”
“Mhm.” He nods again, little tongue peeking out to swipe up the tears above his mouth.
“I take a deep breath and close my eyes,” you start, demonstrating both actions. Inhale for three, exhale for three, and repeat. “And then I picture myself being in my favorite place in the world.” You smile at him, blinking back the sadness that comes with memories of holidays at Grandma’s. “Wanna try it together?”
Harris responds by closing his eyes and breathing in slowly. “Good job, Har,” you softly praise him. “Now breathe out; make sure you’re thinking of your favorite place, okay?”
“Thinkin’ about the zoo,” he whispers, voice raspy from shrieking for so long. “Daddy taked me there and we saw so much animals.”
“Zoos are a lot of fun,” you agree with a laugh. “I’ve never been to the one in Hawkins. Maybe we can go over the summer?”
“Yeah! I wanna show you the flamingos!” His grin stretches across his cheeks “Do you like flamingos?”
Like most people, you don’t have a strong opinion on flamingos, but you respond with an enthusiastic, “I love them!”
“Love who?” Eddie’s voice breaks into the conversation. He’s rolling out the nightstand in a cart, keeping one hand on top of it to hold it steady. “Me?”
You laugh, opening up the back door so he can wedge the furniture next to Harris’s booster seat. “Yes, Eddie. I love you very much, don’t worry,” you tease, seizing the opportunity to inconspicuously check him out. His biceps flex as he maneuvers the nightstand, and you have to tear your gaze from his denim-clad ass when he stands up and triumphantly wipes his hands on his pants.
“C’mere.” He pulls you in, pursing his lips in an exaggerated pout and planting a smacking kiss on you.
While you giggle, Harris is not as amused. He claps his hands over his eyes and groans.
“No tongue-kissing!”
You’re wrapping up storytime, your students fidgeting with their shoelaces—some fidgeting with their friend’s shoelaces—eager to move onto the corresponding art activity Will has planned.
“Okay, we’re going to use our walking—” Your announcement is cut short by Principal Sinclair’s voice coming over the loudspeaker. Her tone is typically warm and excited, but the way she speaks so sternly sends chills through your entire body.
“This is a lock-in. All staff and students must remain in their classrooms until notified. I repeat, all staff and students must remain in their classrooms until notified.”
You breathe out, though you’re still concerned about the cause of the lock-in. It’s usually some kind of medical issue that requires emergency services to have unblocked access through the halls. You hope that whatever it is isn’t life-threatening.
Will locks the door wordlessly, and you repeat your directions to the class. The kids walk to their seats, asking non-stop about what a lock-in means.
“We just have to stay in the classroom,” you find yourself repeating, losing patience with each iteration. You’re thankful for small miracles; your class has already gone out for recess, which means you don’t have to break that news to them.
Will is helping the kids glue multicolored strands of crepe paper in the shape of a rainbow, complete with cotton ball clouds. You’re unclogging a bottle of Elmer’s when the classroom phone rings, startling you. You place the glue bottle on the table, promising Joshua that you’ll be right back, and answer it.
“Hello?”
“We need you to come to the office immediately,” the secretary’s clipped voice informs you. “Bring your personal items. We’ll send someone to assist Will.”
Stupidly, you nod before remembering she can’t see you. “Y-Yes, of course. I’ll be right there.” You hang up, tell Will the plan, and bolt out the door.
What the hell is going on? Why are they having me break the lock-in to go to the office? You hike your purse higher up your shoulder, trying to ignore the dread pooling in your stomach and creeping up your throat.
Something is wrong. Something is really, really wrong.
Your feet can’t carry you fast enough. You nearly stop breathing when you see Eddie pacing in the lobby, Marion and Paula standing off to the side and speaking with Chief Hopper. The two teachers wear matching worried expressions.
As soon as Eddie spots you, he’s charging over. “Oh, thank God,” he murmurs, throwing his arms around you and hugging you tight. You can feel the tears falling from his eyes, wetting the crook of your neck. His hands squeeze against your back and your shoulder blades as his body is wracked with sobs.
You weave your fingers through his hair, holding him as close as you can. You’re desperate to know what’s going on, but you doubt he could explain if he tried. Instead, you continue comforting him while Principal Sinclair walks over.
Her strides are long and purposeful, and she meets your own terrified gaze with her own. “Harris went missing during recess,” she says quietly, “and Mr. Munson let us know that you might be an asset in locating him.”
Harris went missing. Bile inches up your esophagus and you swallow it, wincing at its burn. “Why would he—” You stop mid-sentence; his motive is not important right now. All of your focus needs to be on finding him.
Chief Hopper approaches you and Eddie, tapping your boyfriend on the shoulder with two fingers. Eddie looks up, wipes his face with the heel of his palm, and clears his throat, but a fresh batch of tears threatens to spill over anyway.
“We’ve just collected statements from his teachers,” Hopper reports, looking down at his notepad. “They said that nothing seemed out of the ordinary, that Harris was just playing with his friends one moment and then gone the next.”
“No,” Eddie shakes his head. “No, something had to have happened.” Harris had wandered off plenty of times, like at the flea market. The difference was that he was easily found. “If you haven’t found him, then he’s either hiding, or someone…” The thought is too painful to finish.
Hopper looks over at the principal. “You’re certain that the playground is secure?” He asks her, not accusing, but waiting for confirmation.
“Yes, absolutely secure,” she affirms, nodding her head. “The gate can only be opened from the inside, so no one can access it off of the street.”
You know this, of course, but it doesn't bring you closer to finding Harris.
“We’ve taped off the playground,” Hopper continues, “and we’ve got a search squad going now. Considering that Harris has been diagnosed with a disability, we’re beginning this investigation right away.”
“Mr. Munson,” a second officer chimes in, “is there anyone who would be inclined to take your son? Perhaps a non-custodial parent or an estranged relative?”
Eddie’s blood runs cold. “His mom, um, isn’t in the picture. Never has been.”
Hopper cocks one brow. “Never?” he asks disbelievingly. “How soon after he was born did she relinquish her rights?”
“She, um,” Eddie swallows, rubbing his nose in embarrassment, “she never did. Never relinquished her rights, I mean. She just kinda split.”
“So there was no formal agreement that she could no longer be involved in Harris’s life?”
“N-No,” he stammers, shame seeping from every pore. He’d always meant to start the legal proceedings, but that takes time and money…and maybe a small part of him had always hoped she’d come around and do the right thing.
He looks over at you now, the way you’ve stepped into a mothering role like a puzzle piece. Like any parent, you’d made some mistakes, but you’re also the most compassionate person Eddie has ever known.
He thinks of the times he’d tried to make his ex get clean, to want to get clean, and to be there for Harris. The weight of disappointment caused his chest to ache every time she’d mumble, “I’m gonna, but not right now” or “I don’t need help.”
Perhaps it’s unfair to compare the two of you; after all, you hadn’t struggled with addiction. But Eddie can’t help himself. You’d loved Harris before you’d even loved him, he realizes. And he’d never had to ask you to.
“Do you have any contact information for her?” Hopper taps his pen against his notepad. “Nine out of ten times in these situations, the child is with someone they know.”
What about the ‘one’ time? What happens then? Heat pulses in Eddie’s cheeks, sweat beading on his forehead. He doesn’t need Hopper to answer the question; he already knows what that means.
“It’s from five years ago, so I don’t know if it’s still accurate.” He stumbles over his words, thinking about the last time he’d called her; it was the invitation to Harris’s birthday. “I don’t know it by heart, but I have it in my address book at home.”
Hopper gives a brusque nod to his colleague and to your boss. “We’ll give you a lift. And, uh, it’ll be good to set up your place as a home base.”
“Yeah, yeah, right,” Eddie mumbles, simply going through the motions without processing them. He’s on autopilot, a robotic version of himself. If he was able to fully absorb his surroundings, he would note the irony of him sitting in the back of the cop car because they’re helping him instead of escorting him to the county jail.
You don’t let go of his hand the entire ride there, your thumb rubbing the soft hairs on his knuckles. “We’re gonna find him,” you whisper reassuringly, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand.
But Eddie is too embroiled in his own thoughts, imagining every possible tragedy that could have befallen his son. As soon as Hopper pulls up to the apartment complex, Eddie is flying up the stairs, two at a time, unlocking the door as fast as he can. You run in behind him, watching as he flings loose papers and pens from a kitchen drawer. He’s kicked over the boxes he’s already packed; clothes and some of Harris’s toys are scattered across the floor like a poorly-designed booby-trap.
He holds up the tattered black book, flipping through it until he lands on the right page. “Here. Right here.” He frantically points to an entry at the top, fingertip jabbing into it over and over.
Hopper takes the book from him, careful not to rip the already weathered materials. He dials the digits and frowns when he’s greeted by the automated we’re sorry, this number is no longer in service, far too chipper for the circumstances. He tries once more in case he dialed incorrectly, but he gets the same message.
“Disconnected,” he says gruffly, hanging the receiver with a clank. “Is there anyone else?”
Eddie can only shake his head somberly. If Wayne got Harris from school early, he would have told him. He wasn’t even sure how much of Harris’s maternal family knew of his existence, let alone his location. If someone took his son, it was more than likely a complete stranger.
Hopper’s walkie crackles with static; you and Eddie stiffen with anticipation. “Hey, Chief?” comes from the garbled voice on the other end.
“I’m here.”
“We’ve got a kid here at the school who says he spoke with Harris Munson right before he went missing today.”
Eddie stands up, walking closer to Hopper. Part of you expects him to grab the walkie and try talking straight to the other officer, but he doesn’t.
Hopper presses the small black button and speaks. “Copy. Does he know where we might locate him?”
There’s a deafening silence for a few moments; no more than ten seconds pass, but it feels like a lifetime. Finally, there’s some information: “No known location; just says that Harris told him he was having ‘big feelings’ and needed to go to his favorite place.’”
“The zoo,” you murmur aloud, drawing confused looks from both men in the room. “When he got upset on Saturday—at Goodwill—I taught him to do some deep breathing and picture being in his favorite place, and he told me it was the zoo. But I…” you swallow, furrowing your brows, “I told him to picture it, not actually go there.”
“Zoo’s too far for him to walk, and no bus driver is going to let a kid that young ride by himself,” the chief points out.
You nod, biting your lower lip. “He might not be at the zoo, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t trying to get there.”
Hopper thanks the other officer and turns to you and Eddie. My guys are deploying the search party as we speak.” He takes a deep breath and makes direct eye contact with you and Eddie. “We’ll do everything we can to bring your son back safely.”
Eddie buries his head in his hands, collapsing back against the living room wall and sliding down to the floor.
You look over at the police chief. “Can we help? Join the search…or something?” Anything besides sitting around and waiting for answers.
“Absolutely. We’ll keep an officer stationed here in case Harris comes home.”
You nudge your foot against Eddie’s. “C’mon, babe.” You try to keep strength behind your words, to be what Eddie needs right now, but it gets harder with each passing second. “We’re gonna go look for him.” He looks up and notices that you’ve extended your hand, and he takes it, pulling himself up.
He doesn’t say a word, but he follows you and Hopper out the door. He’s gnawing on his lips so violently that some skin peels off between his teeth; flecks of blood dotting his usually perfect mouth.
“We’ve got some time before sunset, so that’s on our side,” Hopper says as he drives back the way he came. “We’ll start in the woods near the school, and we’ll move from there.” He peers back at the two of you through the rearview mirror with a determined gaze.
“My uncle,” Eddie says suddenly, no certain expression on his face. He’s practically catatonic when he talks. “I want Wayne to wait at the apartment. I need to tell him…” If Harris does return home first and sees police officers surrounding the place, he might get scared and run off again.
Hopper scratches at his beard. “We’ll let him know, all right? Don’t worry about that.” He radios the instructions to a colleague, who confirms them and signs off, before pulling into a grassy area and killing the engine. “Let’s go. If Harris is going to come out for anyone, it’ll be you two.” He slams his door and then helps you and Eddie out of the backseat.
Before you can even begin, you hear a group of people shouting Eddie’s name. You look over to see Jeff, Jess, and Robin waving and walking towards you.
“We came as soon as we heard,” Robin says, giving you and Eddie a hug. “We’re gonna help you, and we’re not leaving until we find him.”
Jeff offers a tight smile, one hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “We’re here for you man,” he promises, sincerity in its purest form. “Viv is gonna stop by later and I’ll take care of Ettie.”
It’s a kind gesture, but Eddie’s stomach sours at the thought of still searching later. He needs to know that his son is safe now.
Harris’s name is echoed over and over, bouncing off of trees and shaking the leaves as you and your friends call out for him.
“Harris!” you cry out, throat raw from your constant shouting. “Harris, it’s Ms. Sweetheart!”
“Harris!” Eddie’s voice is even louder than yours; the power behind it is palpable. “Harris, it’s Daddy! Please come out! You’re not in trouble!” he adds, cognizant of the little boy’s fear of making people mad.
Every squirrel that darts across the forest floor has you whipping your head around, heart leaping at the prospect of Harris emerging from where he’s hiding.
He has to be hiding; your mind won’t let you imagine what could happen if the wrong person saw him walking by himself, determined to get to the zoo…
“Harris, Aunt Robin and I will buy you any toy you want!” Jess yells. “And all the ice cream you can eat!”
The five of you take turns making promises to nobody; they’re secrets shared with the wind. Each unanswered call leaves you feeling more defeated, especially with the sun hanging lower in the sky. It will be dark soon, leaving Harris even more vulnerable than he already is.
Will joins the group a few moments later, bringing granola bars, water, and flashlights. You can only stomach about a quarter of your snack, having completely lost your appetite. Eddie doesn’t even bother to eat, fueled by adrenaline rather than food.
“Principal Sinclair is also looking,” Will tells you and Eddie. “She’s with Lucas and Erica over at Merrill Wright’s farm. It’s closer than the zoo, but he’s got some animals, so they wanted to check there.” He pauses, casting his eyes down for a second before looking at Eddie. “Everyone’s helping out with this. They all want to find Harris.”
Tears well up along Eddie’s lash line; he blinks them away to keep his vision clear. “Thanks, man.” He coughs to clear his throat, emotions forcing their way through. “That means a lot.” For a moment, he sees Will as he was when they first met: an overwhelmed little freshman, unsure of his place in high school, let alone in the world.
What if Harris never gets the chance to find himself? What if he doesn’t get to grow up and learn new things, make his own mistakes, figure out who he is?
You put an arm around Eddie, unknowingly pulling him from his intrusive thoughts. “Can you try to drink some water? Please?” You know better than to nag him about eating right now, but the last thing he needs is to get dehydrated.
He cracks open the bottle and takes a few sips, not realizing how thirsty he was until the liquid covers his tongue. He downs it all without taking a breath, the plastic crinkling as he siphons out every last drop of water.
“Take mine,” you tell him, offering it with the best smile you can possibly muster, but he shakes his head.
“You need it, too.” He’s not wrong, but you have no issue letting him drink from your bottle if he’s still thirsty.
You take a sip and pass it to him. “We’ll share.”
Another hour passes, the pink and orange hues becoming deeper purples and reds as the sky darkens with night. Some people start to call it quits, returning home to their own children, breathing secret sighs of relief that they have children to return home to. Your group remains intact; no one is even considering leaving until they physically cannot move any longer.
With just overworked flashlight bulbs illuminating your path, you continue trudging through the woods. Hopper’s shift was over hours ago, but he’s steadfast in his pursuit to find Harris.
Eddie’s exhausted physically and emotionally, feeling like every part of him has been drained and can never be replenished. His son is missing; he might have been kidnapped, and he doesn’t know if or when he’ll see him again. All he wants is to hold him again, to hear his little laugh as he tells a cheesy joke he learned at school, to watch him sound out new words or draw a picture or just fall asleep in his own bed.
Hopper’s walkie crackles; he clutches it tight and holds it so he can hear it clearly.
“Chief, we may have a sighting.”
A light flickers behind Eddie’s eyes; he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but he can’t help himself. He listens intently as the other officer relays the information.
“Doris Driscoll just went outside to let her cats in for the night, and when they didn’t go inside, she went looking. Found them behind a bush, eating crackers out of a little boy’s hands. He told her his name is Harris. Matches the descriptions the father provided.”
Eddie grabs your hand, gripping it with whatever strength he has left. You feel a surge course through your veins as Hopper motions for you to follow him to his car. He turns on his siren and guns it down the road, swerving in and out of traffic to get to the old woman’s house as fast as he can.
Please, please let him be here, you silently pray, subconsciously screwing your eyes shut and holding your breath. The only thing worse than not knowing where he is might just be a false alarm that he’s been found.
Hopper slams on the brakes behind an ambulance parked in front of the Driscoll residence, their open doors allowing the fluorescent lights to stream through. Eddie watches, wide-eyed, as an EMT wheels a stretcher over to it.
A stretcher carrying Harris.
“Harris!” Eddie cries in simultaneous relief, exuberance, and fear. He instinctively reaches for a door handle, quickly remembering that he’s in a cop car and had to wait for Hopper to let him out from the outside.
You’re already crying; everything you’d been holding back to maintain a solid resolve for Eddie is crumbling as soon as you’d seen his son. You scramble out of the car, right behind him, and run to where the emergency technicians are treating Harris.
He’s awake and alert, and he spots the two of you right away. “Daddy! Ms. Sweetheart!” He tries sitting up, but a technician gently guides him to lay down again. “No, that’s my daddy and my almost-mommy!” he protests. “I gotta see them!”
You and Eddie reach him at the same time. He’s covered in dirt; it’s smudge along his cheeks, his arms, and his legs. He’s even managed to get some on the tip of his nose. Some blood is smeared on his right knee where he’s seemed to have scraped it, and the EMTs spray some antiseptic on it and apply a bandage before he can even feel the sting.
“Oh, thank God.” The words rush out of Eddie’s mouth, and he puts his palms on his son’s cheeks and presses kisses all over his face. “You’re okay, you’re okay…” He turns to the technicians, worry pinching his brows together. “He’s okay, right? There’s nothing wrong?” He pushes some of Harris’s damp curls from his forehead. There aren’t any visible bumps or bruises on his face, which eases a bit of his nerves.
One technician nods. “Right now, it seems like he’s just got some minor lacerations, but we’ll run the gamut of tests to rule out more severe injuries.” She looks over at the police chief, who stands a few yards behind you. “We’ll take it from here.”
Hopper gives a small, sad smile; it’s then that you remember that his own child had passed away nearly twenty years ago. She was only a little older than Harris is now.
Eddie follows your gaze with red-rimmed eyes, the realization setting in for him, too. “Thanks, Chief,” he says, just loud enough so Hopper can hear him. Hopper nods, placing his hat atop his head before walking away.
The EMTs check for any broken or sprained bones, shine lights into Harris’s pupils, and ask him a few simple questions to assess for a concussion. “We’ll have to take him to the hospital, just to be sure,” they say to you and Eddie, “but barring any extenuating circumstances, you should be able to bring him back home tonight.”
“Okay, yeah, okay,” Eddie breathes, crouching down a bit so he’s eye-level with his son. “Har, can you tell us why you ran away from school? You’re not in trouble; I promise.”
Harris looks down at the blanket draped across his lap. “I had really big feelings, and I tried thinking about the zoo like you told me,” he glances at you, “but then the feelings didn’t go away, so I decided to go there.”
You take his small hand in yours. “What were the big feelings?” you ask gently, free of judgment and filled with concern.
He thinks for a second, then states matter-of-factly, “Mad and sad.”
“Mad and sad?”
“Mhm,” he mumbles, wiping at his nose with his free hand. “‘Cause of Ms. Marion and Ms. Paula.”
You freeze, trying to regain your composure before Harris can pick up on your uncertainty. “What happened with your teachers, Har?”
“They were saying mean things about you and Daddy, and it made me mad and sad.”
At the sound of his title, Eddie speaks up. “Mean things about us?”
“Yeah, like, that Ms. Sweetheart is probably teaching you how to read, too,” Harris explains, “and I said that they’re lying, that you’re really smart and read to me all the time. And that Ms. Sweetheart isn’t your teacher; she’s my almost-mommy.”
Eddie clenches his fists, veins prominent as his body goes stiff. His anger isn’t at the insult, but at the way they could speak so brazenly about a child’s family, disregarding the hurt it causes. He doesn’t care what those women think of him, but he’s furious that they upset Harris.
“They keeped laughing and telled me to go play,” Harris continues, getting choked up at the memory. “I tried to do my breathing and my favorite place remembering with Charlie, but it didn’t work. And I got lost going to the zoo–the real zoo, not the one in my imagination–so I hided with the cats until the nice lady found me.”
You and Eddie share heartbroken looks, pushing aside your respective emotions as you tend to the little boy laying in front of you. “Get some rest, Har Bear,” you murmur, kissing the top of his head. “You had a long day.”
He falls asleep after a few minutes, constantly checking to make sure that the two of you are still by his side. As soon as his breathing steadies and his eyes remain closed, Eddie turns to you, exhausted and running on fumes. Wet brown doe eyes pleadingly gaze at you, lids heavy with sleep. You wrap your arms around him, unable to get close enough. He moves slowly, every action a delayed reaction, but he gradually embraces you, too.
“Stay. Please.” The words are muffled by the way his mouth is mashed into your scalp, but you hear them perfectly fine. “And if we get to go home tonight, come back with us. I need you both close to me.”
“Of course.” Your own lips press against his perspiration-soaked shirt collar. “I’ll stay as long as you need me to.” You pull back ever-so-slightly, brushing tears from his cheeks. “He’s safe. He’s safe, and he’s here, and we get to keep spoiling and loving him.”
Eddie absorbs this as best as he can, mind still spinning as the adrenaline crash hits. There’s so much he wants to say, but for right now, he just carves out space in his body for yours. Your light whisper keeps him grounded, pulling hi away from the spiraling that usually overtakes him in times of crisis.
“I’ve got you.”
--
#eddie munson#eddie stranger things#eddie x reader#eddie x you#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x f!reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson angst#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fanfic#stranger things fanfic#fanfic#eddie munson stranger things#stranger things#tui
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Hey how about some ART TALK
Art history is a bit of a hobby of mine. Last weekend I went to the Frick in Pittsburgh because they had a special exhibition we wanted to see, and in the gift shop I picked up a book that told the story of a series of acknowledged masterpieces. The first one in the book is Birth of Venus, the second is Mona Lisa, and the scream I scrumpt when I turned the page to see the third:
Let me tell you about Artemisia Fucking Gentileschi.
She was a 17th century painter and one of the first women to be admitted to a Florentian art society and is widely regarded as one of the finest of the Italian baroque painters. She was raised by her father, who was also a painter who studied Caravaggio, and early in her career she had to put up with people saying that her paintings surely must have been painted by her father (despite her father himself saying she was a peerless artist and super accomplished).
As a young woman she was raped by a colleague of her father's. Her father sued the rapist because he hadn't married her (THIS was the crime, not the rape itself, of course) and Artemisia was tortured with thumbscrews to verify her testimony. Some of the...ahem...feelings about this entire episode definitely come through in her work.
Contrary to how these stories usually go, Artemisia had a long and productive career, was well paid for her work, enjoyed the patronage of the Medici family, and traveled widely. History, however, has only recently come to appreciate her and name her among the great painters of the period.
Let's talk about THIS FUCKING PAINTING, though. Judith Beheading Holofernes. Probably her most famous work.
The story is one of Judith, a Jewish woman, who got the general of the army about to invade her city to come have dinner with her, got him drunk, and chopped his head off. Then she paraded his head out to the army, like a boss. It's been painted a number of times but this one...this one really brings the rage. Look at Judith, the strength in her arms, how she's got a look of steely concentration. If you look closely, you can see she has her knee up on the bed behind him to get more leverage. Her maidservant is helping hold him down. Neither of them look horrified or hesitant, they're ready to cut this motherfucker. (also that's definitely Artemisia as Judith. She put herself in a lot of her paintings)
It's an apt interpretation of the verse from the Book of Judith, which is admiringly succinct:
Her sandal ravished his eye, Her beauty made captive his soul, The sword passed through his neck. — Book of Judith, 16:9[7]
It's got a real "the tiger is out" energy, right?
Now let's look at the same scene, painted by Caravaggio, who was no slouch at painting, but...come on.
Judith looks like a scared teenager. She's holding him at arm's length as if that's gonna work. Her maid is a crone, lurking at her shoulder like Wormtongue. This does not, imho, compare to the power of Gentileschi's version.
Artemisia painted another image of Judith holding the severed head. And a lot of other paintings. I'm just thrilled to see this one in this book, as it's one of my favorites. We have one of her paintings here in Columbus and I always visit it when I go (when it's up, that is).
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**Health update**
So I never wanted to make another post like this but here I am.. I was hoping to just get better and never bring it up again.
To get those of you up to speed. I was diagnosed with CKD back in late 2021. I’ve been battling that for a while now. I’m actually doing really well in that regard. During a routine MRI in Nov 2023 for my kidneys we found what looked to be a hepatic steatosis and splenomegaly. It was later determined and I was diagnosed with hepatic tumors and splenomegaly. I also had a fairly large gallstone and what appeared to be a tumor/cyst on my gallbladder. We decided it was just better to remove my GB and the tumors all at the same time. So in January of this year I had laparoscopic cholecystectomy/tumor removal. That’s what the scars on my stomach are from. The tumors were tested and were benign. That was a huge relief. But it left my liver fairly damaged. I wasn’t to concerned about because your liver can and will heal itself. I recovered well and felt great.
Fast forward 9 months. I wasn’t feeling very well. So I made an appointment with my PCP and she wanted me to do a bloodwork panel. This is normal. We actually do blood once a month but really only check kidneys, thyroid, and hormones. So I did the panel and when the test results came in my Dr called me immediately. She ordered another AST/hepatic function panel for my liver, kidneys and pancreas.
After those test results came in she had me come to her office. I was met with her and a Hepatologist. They broke the news to me that unfortunately my liver not doing well according to the bloodwork. My pancreas/kidneys are actually pretty ok rn which is cool. But my total bilirubin is 1.4 mg/dl. At 1.5 mg/dl total bilirubin is where we really start looking at the possibility of Cirrhosis. If you don’t know what that is. Google it. Now I’m not saying I have this rn but it seems to be looking that way 🫤
They were telling me they could see my bilirubin trending up over the course of the past few months of bloodwork. Also previously being diagnosed with Splenomegaly which is a tell tale sign of Cirrhosis apparently. They’re pretty sure I have it or will have it. They want to run more tests and see how bad or good it is and we’ll go from there. It seems like they have a pretty good plan. Also for those of you that are going to say get a second opinion.. I got a second and a third. They said the same thing go figure..
So again I find myself going in and out of the hospital again. I don’t wish this life upon anyone. It’s not fun. Being chronically/terminally ill is no fucking joke. If it’s not one thing it’s another. It’s tiring and I’m soo tired. Honestly I can’t wait until it’s all over.. forever.
Anyway I figured I’d give you a bit of an update on my health and such. A lot of you ask in my DMs. It’s hard to answer everyone so a post like this gets it out there. But yea if you made it this far thank you and I love you 🫶🏻
#im sick#still sick#always will be sick#if it’s not one thing it’s another#health#chronic illness#terminally ill#please dont feel sorry for me#I don’t want that#trans#transgender#trans pride#transisbeautiful#mtf#transgirl#girlslikeus#mtf hrt#maletofemale#transformation#trans woman#trans women#trans women are beautiful#transexual#actually trans#this is what trans looks like#trans people#trans positivity#mtf positivity#actually mtf#mtf pride
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