#thinking of having him super humiliated but also like... obviously still wanting and enjoying that is SO 🙏🙏🙏

[rubra-wav]

I’m a bit hesitant to ask this because I’ve never requested spicy stuff anywhere but do you think Vox can change out his biology like other parts of himself? Could he choose to have a vag instead of a dick?

I may or may not have been thinking about pegging him when this idea popped up for me

NSFW / 18+ only obv

OH I LOVE THIS ASK SM BC IT HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY BRAINROT PILE I HAVE NOT SHARED WITH THE WORLD YET.

Anon, YES. YES I DO THINK HE CAN.

Though, he probably would not ever do that unless you are REALLY close and he's significantly recovered from his bs.

In theory I wanna say yeah he probably could, but if he could would he? Probably not.

BUT

I've talked about this in other posts, but Vox gives me hella internalised toxic masculinity stench (not towards others, just to himself mostly at this point) so he would most likely never do something that's so emasculating.

He would be so so embarrassed the whole time.

If we talk you somehow get him to deconstruct that enough for him to feel comfortable enough to do that and allow you to touch him while like that... (*thrashing trying not to go feral*)

Like he'd be probably really trying not to freak out even though he was interested in it enough to choose go through with it - he would still be glitching probably from the second you're seeing him like that.

If you treat him right and real well while he's like that... he would most likely be mortified by the sounds you managed to pull from him with that. (The thought of him trying to suppress his enjoyment and just failing miserably and letting out stuttering whines and stuff.... AAA)

Yeah I will probably end up doing a proper post on this at some point bc HFHFHFHFHF, but for now, have my probably barely coherent brainrot

Would probably end up bluescreening by the time he's finishing because like - not only would the pleasure of being screwed with a vag (strap or actual dick) be completely different then what he's used to, his internal bs would probably still be there yelling at him over it.

When I say it would take a LOT of work for this to ever be a possibility too tho I don't say that lightly. Like bro would be so hesitant to ever let this happen

[nubisaureus]

sharing is caring

Been having KuroKen x reader brainrot lately so here ya go, some spicy headcanons for y'all!

character(s): Kuroo and Kenma (timeskip)

pairing(s): KuroKen x afab!reader

contents: polyship (Kuroo x Kenma x reader), domestic shenanigans, cuddles, finger fucking, drooling, neck kissing

a/n: YALL DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND THE BRAINROT THATS CONSUMING ME I NEEDED TO WRITE THIS SO BADLY AAAAAAH

not proofread!

Enjoy! <3

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they're both completely smitten with you

Kenma is very clingy; he loves playing games while you two are hugging: he rests his head on your shoulder, while you basically nap on him

you and Kuroo are the ones to remind Kenma to eat and sleep properly: he'd even forget to drink water without you

Kuroo loves to tease Kenma just to get on his nerves; and that is usually done by giving you attention: he gets jealous super easily

of course it's healthy jealousy: they love competing for your attention, and overwhelming you with theirs

Kenma is a very interesting switch; his sex drive isn't high, but when he's in either a dommy mood or subby mood you can rest assured that things are gonna get steamy

as for Kuroo, he loves going with the flow: he definitely isn't a sub, yet doesn't mind when Kenma takes the lead

Kenma loves making you both writhe for him: he'll usually make Kuroo watch as he makes you feel good, then have him be desperate for release

on the other side, when Kuroo takes the lead, he loves to tag team on you with Kenma: they'll overwhelm you so badly that you won't even know left from right

«Look, Kuroo. Look how good they're feeling because of me.» he shoves two fingers in your pussy, making you writhe and ache for him to move. His clothes feel electric on your naked skin: it's humiliating that they are both still in their clothes, in a way; yet it also feels arousing. Besides, they'd get naked soon enough. Kuroo looks at the whole scene, while kneeling in front of the bed: your pussy spread out in front of him, yet he's forbidden from touching you, not until Kenma's sadism issatisfied. His fingers move in and out, while Kuroo is basically drooling: when he's satisfied, he tentatively danglesthem in front of Kuroo, a smirk plastered where his usual poker face stands. «Want a taste, Kuroo?» he teases, and shoves his fingers in his mouth, while Kuroo sucks on them like he was a man dying from thirst who had been offered water on the brink of his death.

just thinking about what transpired that night makes you wet still to this day

you usually end up sandwiched between the two of them when you're watching something or just cuddling

as you're cuddling, Kuroo would usually be the one to support you both: you usually lay on him, your head resting on his chest while he uses one hand to stroke your hair and the other to stroke any part of Kenma's body he can reach from his position

Kenma usually lays on top of you, with his head on your tummy, as he uses your chest as a console stand for his Switch (a/n the console this time BAHAHAHA)

as he plays on top of you, you love running your hands in his hair: you usually undo his bun, untangling his hair, then run your fingers through it, admiring the little goosebumps that surface on his skin, along with the little shivers he desperately tries to hide

that's just one of your cuddling positions though: another one you particularly love is when you rest your head on Kenma's lap, while Kuroo lays on you

in those times, your hands are in his hair, messing his bed head even more, although he doesn't particularly mind: he's laying on you after all

meanwhile Kenma is obviously playing a game, but will choose a chill one, which gives him the time to stroke your hair and look at you both with an embarrassed face, while Kuroo will tease him about that (a/n i need Kenma blushing in my life so badly-)

you take care of them both, and they take care of you as well

«Kenma..stop sitting like you're a question mark, please» you grab him by the neck, much like a cat, and pull him backwards, as to make him sit up straight. «He'll never learn, love. He'll end up hunched up like a croissant.» you let out a giggle, while the blond shots Kuroo a deadly look. «What? It's the truth, Kenma.» he kisses you, shooting him a challenging look. «Oh come on Kuroo, he'll get even grumpier than usual.» you kiss the blond's frown, and his face relaxes immediately. «I'm not grumpy...» he protests, as Kuroo lowers himself to stare at him dead in the eyes. «Bullshit. But since you're cute, I guess I'll let it slide this one time.» and kisses him, making the frown come back as he focuses on his game again. «I need to finish this video and you both are distracting me. Don't you have anything better to do?» he huffs, his puffed cheeks making you and Kuroo erupt in a loud laugh. «Sure, we can do each other.» he retorts, his shit eating grin making you shake your head. You loved those two dorks to death.

it's safe to say his gameplay took less than usual that day

Your predicament is such: you pressed between the two of them, your head resting on Kenma's shoulder while he passionately kisses your neck. Kuroo looks at the two of you, taking in the sight of the people he loves most in the world. Your necks are his weakness: he can't hold on any longer. When his mouth clashes with your neck, you can't help but let out a loud moan, your hands instinctively reaching for his hair, using it as leverage to shove his face deeper on yourself. «Something wrong, babe? You seem worked up.» he teases, while Kenma continues incessantly, his arms reaching to hug you from behind, his hands wandering around. «Seriously, Kuroo?» your breath is ragged, so instead of coming out as an angry question, it comes out as more of a whine. «I'm as serious as it gets, babe. So?» he licks an undefined spot, making you squirm in the very small available space between their bodies. You try to catch your breath. «How could I be composed when I have my two boyfriends ravaging my neck?» you blurt out, as they both chuckle.

[itsjaywalkers]

As the person asking for the reg nsfw headcanons (I pinky promise it’s me) I was thinking interviewer reg, but honestly anything works :)

i actually got two of these nonnie so . now i'm conflicted.. who's the original one huh..

but it's fine bc i'm nice like that and i love talking about my silly lil miserable guy (regulus) so !! sure u can have some interviewer reg nsfw hcs !! i love calling them hcs as if i'm not the author lmao

like i've already mentioned, he isn't super sexually active!! he does have some casual sex sometimes, to relieve stress and simply bc he enjoys it, but he's a very busy man (and fairly well-known too) so he's gotta be careful + has other priorities

regardless, he's a bit of a menace in bed

he knows what he wants and what he likes, and he's usually very confident in bed (apart of when he gets like . dysphoric yk) (which fortunately doesn't happen that often anymore)

he usually prefers anal not only bc he genuinely likes it but also . bc he isn't always comfy with using his front hole with ppl he doesn't trust/isn't close with, and it's easier to go for anal sex rather than going for his front hole just to realise that he isn't really feeling it and having to bring it up to his one night stand

this is different with james obviously!! not bc he has feelings, we all know that at the beginning is mere attraction, but bc he knows him

when they begin hooking up they're kinda close and despite how reg insists he can't stand him, there's some trust between them and james doesn't feel like a stranger!!

that being said, they also have anal sex ofc

like james, reg is also very switchy, but unlike him, he's very aware that he likes both, having control + relinquinshing it AND both topping and bottoming

he's kinda topped almost as much as he's bottomed tbh. but then again, he doesn't sleep around THAT often

he's veryyyy into spanking, both giving and receiving (impact play in general tbh)

tends to get quite loud

kinda into exhibitionism + vouyeurism but he didn't really know until james, bc again, he tends to be very discreet about his sex life, and never has it in outrageous places

the most public setting for him has been a cheeky blowjob in a club's toilets (again, until james)

isn't usually fond of pet names outside of sex but digs them when he's very horny (there's a shift in how he feels when james uses them once they start hooking up + when they begin dating)

loves to get choked during sex (also enjoys doing the choking, but prefers receiving)

more into hickeys and bruises than he'd like to admit but since his job doesn't allow to have these kinds of marks on display, he tends to not indulge in it, and always tells his partners to not leave anything on his skin

has toyed with bondage before, but nothing too intense or complicated

very into overstimulation

dacryphilia!! which he discovers thanks to james, when he begins topping him and makes him sob into the matress for the first time

has never seen the appeal of sex tapes or nudes and he's still not that much of a fan once he gets with james BUT they're both quite filthy and the thrill kinda does something to him + he likes watching himself and james have sex

as insatiable as james, gets horny easily but is a lot better at hiding it

praise kink!! and humiliation kink!! leans more towards the former tho

enjoys degrading james immensely

and we're gonna leave it there for now <3

[legacyshenanigans]

Alrighty, didn’t throw these in on the others in case people were uncomfy with NSFW (although if it’s Marvolo I don’t see how those can co exist 😅), but here’s my asks on NSFW headcanons/thoughts

And once again thank you my smut queen for taking the time to indulge me 💚💚

Has Marvolo every accidentally gone too far and hurt MC without meaning to? If so how did he react? Especially with caring for her, would he feel guilty or roll off his back?

Thoughts on Marvolo giving a sensual massage as a way to bridge the gap of him not being super romantic since it is sexy but still giving towards MC in his own way? (Maybe not candles but def a really good rub down and maybe some sweet words)

His fav positions?

Ones he hasn’t tried but wants to?

Things he has tried to indulge MC that he liked? Things he tried and didn’t?

Worst place(s) they’ve done it? Places they want to try?

His biggest kink(s) - could also be not explicitly sexual?

Things he has learned about himself while being the MC that surprised him in the bedroom?

Also it’s getting late in my time zone so I’m bout to go horny scrolling so I apologize 🤣

It's also super later where I am too, or early, depends how you look at it 😅 nearly 5am ahahaha. But I saw this ask and thought,

"Oof..I need to do this" 🫦😩🤣

I love these questions you have!! 💚🐍

I will undercut these NSFW answers❤️

1. One time when he was hitting her hard from the back, he pushed down on her back WAY to hard in a primal (not thinking straight) state to make her arch more so he could fuck her deeper, and absolutely blew her back out. She could barely walk the next day. They kinda laughed about it, but he did help her and stuff, and gave her lots of attention for being such a good girl that night and letting him go wild on her.

2. He'd have absolutely no issue giving her a massage if that's what she wanted, but it would end in sex 100%. Yeah, romance is a very strange world for Marvolo, and he does try at times because he knows MC likes it, and he wants to make her happy. He has the capability to be romantic because he can be incredibly charming, and those two things go hand in hand, but he still struggles with what romance is. Marvolos idea of romance is like him NOT spitting on her when they have sex 🤣 He also has no issue now telling MC he loves her and says sweet things to her pretty regularly.

3. Any positions where he can clearly see her face, he wants to SEE how he's making her feel, he wants to SEE it on her face, it's a huge turn on for him, even fucking doggy, he'll be growling at her telling her to look at him over her shoulder at him, he's very big on eye contact during sex.

4. I think its safe to say in his time he's done pretty much any position you can think off 🤣

5. Letting her take control more is something he will indulge in for MC, and he does enjoy it depending on his mood (I really need to do a fic on that haha)

6. Some people could argue the "worst place" they've done it is at the Den in the butchery room, even though MC and him enjoyed it. And I'd say they'd be down for it anywhere, to be honest. 🤣

7. One of his biggest kinks is "dark play." Type stuff, like causing pain, and then she's rewarded for taking it so well, with it getting a little worse each time (again, another fic I REALLY need to do) he also enjoys humiliation, him being the one causing it, obviously. (Ffs..Another one I now suddenly want to fucking do, but him letting MC do it to HIM 😅)

8. I wouldn't say there's much he's learnt about himself bedroom wize since being with MC. He just now has little bit more of an understanding that SOMETIMES sex doesn't HAVE to be rough, like lazy morning sex was something he'd NEVER done before meeting MC, and he rather enjoys that at times, which surprised him.

~

[nana-kom]

Hi 👋🏻

This is a wg fic, this contain weight gain, feederism, a little bit of sex, humiliation and bullying. If you don’t like don’t read.

New York’s Feedie

When Jeongin met Hyunjin two years ago, he never imagined that his life would take this turn, yet here he was, living in a sublime New York apartment with his boyfriend. It had been over three months since the two men had moved in, and they were both blossoming. Jeongin felt grateful for all they had achieved together, but he was nervous about his new life in the United States, as it was a very different place from what he had known in Korea. What's more, Hyunjin had recently signed with a modeling agency and had been on the job for several weeks, while Jeongin had enrolled at a university to continue his studies in literature. Things had by no means been rushed, and both were doing their best to keep things running smoothly, both in their relationship and in their various occupations. Although Jeongin was increasingly used to feeling lonely because Hyunjin worked so much, he obviously loved him and felt grateful for all the opportunities he had given him, but the feeling of loneliness had quickly replaced the excitement of the early days.

At first, Jeongin decided to devote himself to his studies and writing, as he too wanted to sign with a publishing house, but he knew he needed to make even more of an effort. As the days went by, Jeongin also made friends at university, which made him feel more surrounded, especially as he also met a boy from Korea named Jisung. He was really nice to Jeongin, and they spent most of their time together at university. As a friend, Jisung decided to act as Jeongin's tour guide to the best restaurants in New York. As Jeongin had no shortage of free time, every lunchtime they went to different places to sample the food. Jisung loved to eat, Jeongin always saw him nibbling on something, yet the man was miraculously still very slim, and he also spent a lot of time at the gym. Jeongin had tried sport before, but it wasn't really his thing, preferring to enjoy meals with his friend. Jeongin learn to love eating huge amount of food with his friend, when their class were over, they were going on new restaurant to make Jeongin taste different thing on the menue. And Jeongin was really enjoying every moment of eating, feeling the pleasure of the food in his mouth and how his belly was also swollen after every meal. So he takes a next step when he asked Jisung to give him some good addresses for having food delivered to his home, which Jisung did, and in the evenings that followed he order from one restaurant to another. Now eating his lunch with Jisung and enjoy his meal at night by himself in his apartment. As the days went by, the extra kilos began to show on his body, but even if he wasn't paying attention, he couldn't see much difference, and the food here must be higher in calories, so it's probably normal, he told himself. One evening, as he was drifting off to sleep, he heard the apartment door open and a few minutes later Hyunjin lay down on the bed beside him before putting his arms around him.

"I missed you," said Hyunjin, kissing Jeongin's cheek, and Jeongin smiled.

"You too." Said Jeongin and Hyunjin wrapped his arms around his belly before suddenly starting to touch it, catching the fat that was starting to appear.

"Looks like you're enjoying the food here... "Said Hyunjin and Jeongin suddenly straightened up, turning on the light.

"And what does that mean?"

"Nothing! It's just a fact, but I think it's super cute!"

"Hyunjin I don't understand what you're talking about!"

"It's just that...you've...well it's light...but you've put on weight..."

"The food here is pretty expensive and we don't have much choice in the cafeteria...and I try my best to…stay healthy…"

"I'm sorry baby, I know and I'm not saying it's your fault...I'm never here to eat with you...and I don't know any place to eat here..."

"Me neither...But I can lose weight if you'd prefer..."

"Of course not, I love your belly, it's all soft and fluffy, and I just want to kiss your little cheeks." Said Hyunjin, placing a kiss on it.

"Still, I don't see how I could have gained any weight..."

"In any case, you're still adorable."

That night, they fell asleep together, Hyunjn's hands around Jeongin's belly. Jeongin was well aware that he had lied, but he couldn't admit that he spent his days gorging himself. Because now, when he wasn't in class, he was either at the restaurant with Jisung, or at home eating, or working on his lessons with snacks on the side... He'd fallen in love with food and couldn't get away from it. Every bit of food that entered his mouth made him a little happier than the moment before. His weight gain became even more noticeable when his pants became too small for his thighs and belly, and also when his belly began to protrude from his t-shirts. Luckily for him, finding larger clothes wasn't difficult, and although he loved dressing up, being comfortable quickly became more important.

As the weeks went by, he noticed that his arms were getting bigger too, and that his belly was swollen all the time, starting to show more and more despite his baggy clothes, and he knew he wouldn't be able to hide his visible pair of breasts for much longer. But he'd also noticed that the more weight he gained, the more Hyunjin took care of him and even made sure to come home early to cook for him, so in his eyes it was a win-win situation. Hyunjin had noticed that he was eating more than before, but he had no idea how much Jeongin could eat in a day. Hyunjin wasn't the only one to notice Jeongin's sudden weight gain, and Jisung, for his part, seeing her friend taking pleasure in eating, began to offer to eat more and even help him finish his meals when Jeongin couldn't move. In the months that followed, Hyunjin increasingly found Jeongin not sleeping but on the sofa, finishing his meals with his stomach exposed and his hands massaging it. Jeongin was really fat by now, finding it hard to walk because of his belly, which was full all the time due to the food, and above all he had become more lazy than before and didn't really like to make any effort. And despite his new condition, Hyunjin found him so sexy and their sex life so much more exiting, Hyunjin loved to touch Jeongin’s breasts and when he was being penetrated by his boyfriend, he loved to feel his belly falling against his body. He loved to feel the weight of Jeongin's body on his own, and he loved to explore every part of his body and his fat. He was really happy with his boyfriend but his new body was something that really turn him on, he doesn’t really now why. But seeing how fat Jeongin was becoming make him really happy and kinda horny too.

One evening, Hyunjin arrived at Jeongin's door, explaining that he had been invited to a gala and would like him to accompany him. Jeongin agreed, wanting to please his boyfriend, but finding a suit in his size this time was much more complicated, but thanks to Hyunjin's contacts, they succeeded anyway, and seeing Jeongin in that outfit that evening, Hyunjin fell in love all over again. Seeing his double chin go over his collar and the shirt they'd taken a little wider a few weeks ago were now slightly too tight on him. After complimenting him all the way, they arrived at the party, and as they entered the reception hall, all eyes turned to them. Most people were whispering behind Jeongin's back as he waddled to Hyunjin's side. Hyunjin left his boyfriend for a moment to fetch them drinks from the bar, and a colleague nd of Hyunjin's wasted no time in making his way over to him.

 « You invited a friend?" His colleague asked.

"He's my boyfriend, actually! I wanted to make sure everyone liked me before showing I was in a relationship with a guy..."

"With a guy or with a whale?" Hyunjin raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Nah, seriously, Hwang, how can you date a guy like that? There's so much better out there...oh or is he rich?"

"Fuck you." Hyunjin then walked over to Jeongin before taking his hand tenderly.

"Shall we go?"

"What? Already? I haven't even met your colleagues."

"They're not worth it...I..."

"Hyunjin!" then called out a woman in the distance before arriving at his side. "Glad you and your...friend could make it..."

"Jeongin, nice to meet you!" he said, shaking her hand, and the woman winced slightly.

"Yeah…whatever...Can we talk? In private?" She said, resting her eyes on Hyunjin, and he nodded before telling Jeongin to wait for him.

Jeongin smiled and let him go before heading over to the buffet and starting to taste the different dishes that were being served, and the food was delicious, he could feel that it was good food and in his taste buds he could feel the luxury of this event and also realized all the work that Hyunjin did for him to be here and that if he could be here it was thanks to him.

"I don't think pigs are allowed at this kind of party!" then said someone behind his back.

"Excuse me?" Jeongin said, turning around.

"Are you really dating Hyunjin? How can he be dating someone like you?"

"I...we've been together for over two years...what business is it of yours?"

"When the most popular model of the season goes out with a real pig there's plenty to wonder about. Come on, tell me, did you pay for it?"

"No...I..."

Tears welled up in Jeongin's eyes and he decided to leave the party, so he found himself all alone outside waiting for Hyunjin to get out of that horrible place. He looked down at his belly and sighed. He'd put on weight, yes, and he'd never been treated this way before, so he didn't understand the problem: he was still a human and deserved respect. After a moment, Hyunjin came running up to him and gave him a hug.

"I'm sorry, we should never have come, these people...they're stupid."

"Why aren’t you leaving me?" Said jeongin, wiping away his tears. "I didn't put on weight just by eating at the cafeteria, I’m eating all the time..and I don't want to stop...you weren't there and I had nothing else to do...but now…it’s different…I love being fat…not really right now …but in general… »

"Innie, I don't care about your weight, I find you...super sexy, I love every one of your shapes and every single one of your bulges. And you're the man I love above all else, thin or fat, you're mine!"

"But someone like you..."

"Stop it, we don't care, the modeling world is super demanding on people's looks but they're not us! And I'm not them! I'm me and I love you!"

"I love you too!"

Hyunjin then smiled before hugging him again more tenderly and Jeongin felt safe in his boyfriend's arms, Hyunjin stepped back before caressing his cheeks then kissing him tenderly as he felt the taste of the tears that had run down his lips.

"Come on, let's both go have some fun!" said Hyunjin. "I'll look for a nice restaurant for you and me ok?"

"Wait, I've got a question, what did your colleague say to you?"

"Well...she asked me why I'd brought you here and what it did for my reputation..."

"Oh...and what did you say?"

"I told her that if she was jealous of our relationship she should find someone else...and that I was very happy with you no matter what they could think, after that I left because I didn’t want to listen to them talk for any longer tonight !"

"Thank you for standing up for me, I love you."

"Me too, and now I'm taking you to eat my greedy baby."

"Wait...I'm going to choose…I’m the expert, and I know a really nice place..."

"I'll follow you then. Surprise me."

"Trust me, you won't be disappointed."

[bloomingdead]

“I was kidding about being a ship hater but I also want to blast Ereloy fans with my eye beams and insult their favorite character character by calling him ugly.” Whatever, dude. If you want to remain toxic and bitter, that’s on you.

bruh took everything i said out of context and harped on my ugly erend joke (he is). i do wanna blast u diehards w my eye beams!!! gtfo of here! erend is still one of my favorite characters, and he's obviously the closest friend aloy has at this point (maybe other than her sister but imo they're still working on bringing closeness to their relationship).

people really seem to think that because i find shipping him with aloy inappropriate, and you guys greasy for doing it, that i must hate him. i don't. he's charming, with a way about him that's hard to ignore (himbo energy). he tries his best to be there for the people he cares about and loves super hard. he's great at public speaking and rallying people to his cause, whatever that may be in the moment. he's incredibly loyal to his job even if that means bending avad's requests to fit what he deems most important in the moment. plus avad respects him so much that he doesn't care!! and his underlings on the vanguard will NOT let go of the crush he had in hzd, to his humiliation as we see the confrontation with aloy followed by his drunkenness at barren light. he has good taste in music, the soul of a metalhead, and a heart of gold. he lost his sister as aloy came into his life, and there's every context clue to show that this crush fizzled out as he came to respect aloy more as an equal. he said something along the lines of "i thought i was a bigshot talking to a pretty girl from a tiny tribe... now i see i was lucky just to get a minute of your time" and the ereloys takes this as some proclamation of love when to me and many others it comes off as a transition within their relationship towards mutual respect and appreciation.

let's be real about who's truly bitter. you old bitches who keep trying to ship aloy with a man at least 10 years her senior, or those of us who just want to enjoy the game for what it is without diehard shippers telling us what was literally written into the story by its creators is wrong. just because he's age appropriate for you doesn't mean it's okay that you project so much onto aloy that you can't remember she's at most 20yo. or the contrary, you're so fuckin young that you can't see how inappropriate it is because they all seem like old ass adults to you. it just gives "you're really mature for your age" vibes. ew. not to mention, as one of my lovely anons did, that this spike in hetero ship content for aloy happened AFTER seyka was introduced. >inb4 "a BiSeXuAl WoMaN iN a ReLaTiOnShIp WiTh A sTr8 mAn Is sTiLl QuEeR" bffr, as a (now out&proud lesbian, i must add) woman who's dated hetero men in the past, does that man know he's in a queer relationship or consider it to be one because his girl is? in the case of erend and the nuances in his character which are intended to relate to a type of man we all know, (that you guys bulldoze with your hc's,) fuck the fuck no. most cishet men don't.

this is the kind of discourse we get when fanon becomes more important to people than what's literally written into the story. i love erend! yeah i am a little irritated that people started popping their horussies out for their favorite (hetero) ship after we got a canon (GAY) romance in the game. if you guys had any critical thinking skills/media literacy, you'd have gotten the point by now that even if aloy isn't a lesbian, she's never going to end up with your favorite male character. you'd also understand why the gayshippers are irritated with you guys doing this in the wake of homophobic review bombing. because now we know aloy is capable of romantic feelings and no one but seyka has brought that side out of her so far. you can call it bad writing all you want, it's my opinion vs yours. doesn't change the direction the series is going in terms of aloy's romantic future.

[ask-the-crimson-king]

Violence #9 @stories-from-the-warp

[Choose Violence Asks]

Worst part of canon.

Oh boy there's a long list. I genuinely do not know what part of canon I would say is the worst.

I'm just gonna fire off some of my takes as the aspects of canon that I dislike. This is in absolutely no coherent order whatsoever.

I dislike the direction that Magnus has been taken [going from a potentially very interesting daemon primarch who chafes and secretly works to free himself from the grasp of Tzeentch vs old bird man with dementia], though this is mainly how Chaos characters have been treated in modern 40k as a whole. There's scant few who didn't feel like flanderized villains and who had actual depth and interest. Shoutout to Josh Reynold's Apocalypse for being able to keep a balanced narrative and have a lot of depth for all sides of the conflict. Also rare W for Guy Haley for handling Kor Phaeron super fucking well in Throne of Light, despite only having him exist for 3 chapters. It was his first 40k appearance and it wasn't god awful.

I very heavily dislike the demonization of queerness with the overt association with Slaanesh - note: I think it's cool that Slaanesh is seen as the queer god, but I do not like how basically the entirety of the novel Fulgrim and some subsequent texts treat queerness as being bad and demonic and degenerate. That fucking sucks. As I said in a previous ask, as a queer dude myself, I don't feel very welcome or comfortable in fandom spaces for this reason.

I do not like how Lorgar was handled in the novel Slaves to Darkness, partially because it completely wrote him out of the Siege and how it completely humiliated him in what felt like fan service to all of the grimdark memers. It then made the lore about which Word Bearers were/were not on Terra fuzzy, something that gets egregiously fuzzier as the Siege wears on. The majority of the Legion followed Lorgar after Ullanor. How are there still thousands upon thousands upon thousands of them fighting on the Spirit and on Terra? Also, now it opens up the question of what the fuck happened to him afterwards, a question that I am convinced will never be answered. And maybe that is a good thing.

I do not enjoy the short story "The Reflection Crack'd" and could go without it being canon, partially due to the demonization of queerness that is rampant in earlier BL stuff.

I do not enjoy the direction Sortiarius was maybe hinted at going. I understand not wanting to make a one-to-one Prospero, but I genuinely think making it into a gun factory is not better. This is supposed to be the New Kingdom. Give it to the humans or something. Do something better than gun factory. Also, I dislike how little has been shown on Sortiarius, or anything connected to the New Kingdom. A Better Place/A Promise Fulfilled easily could fill novels and they should.

I do not enjoy the push for the Imperials being The Heroes and The Good Guys despite the setting having obviously theocratic fash leanings for the Imperium. Sorry, WarCom, but I have read at least three entries from the Dawn of Fire series, and the Imperials were horribly bland and heroic. I dislike the evaporation of the grey from the setting.

I do not enjoy how the xenos factions are sidelined again and again and again. The Necrons were able to enjoy some popularity as of late, thank everything, but all other factions deserve it too. Stop treating them as nothing more than side pieces when they have their own characters, societies, and histories, GW. I can maybe pass the tyranids, but at bare min genestealers deserve something.

The man who said "I have an avowed weakness for dusky women" from Betrayer was weird and creepy and I feel like could have probably Not existed. I do not like him. That was fucking weird.

I know people would probably say "oh daemonculaba" but honestly I've gotten over that entire thing by now. Yeah yeah it's disgusting, it's horrific, it's terrible, but so is 95% of the stuff that happens in the setting. Would I rather it not be canon? Maybe, if just to get people to shut the hell up about it.

Exception for the one artist human on here who's name I am forgetting who created Fernka with the daemonculaba. I would keep it canon purely for them. Fernka is wonderful.

OH. From the Vigilus campaign, Abbadon not killing Calgar. He absolutely should've. Let characters die, GW. Calgar could be replaced by a new primaris who you could give character to and maybe get people to like the primaris lore-wise who are otherwise averse to it. Maybe. But that SERIOUSLY felt like such a big let down, especially with the new Abbadon model released + the Chaos refresh that accompanied it.

There's probably more but this is what I have off the top of my head. Sorry this ask got super long, I had some Opinions.

[spittyfishy]

So out of all the V3 Remnants who would take the revelation of what they've done while in despair the hardest?

Well obviously none of them would really take it terribly well, (except maaaaybe Kiyo, I don’t think he’d be aggressively taken off guard, he was already a serial killer before all the despair after all). But I kinda think Kaito would take it the worst.

Now that may just be because he’s wormed his way into my blorbo list, and he now lives rent free in my brain, but think about it. All of Kaitos despair behaviour goes completely against all his usual values, plus there’s the reveal of what he did to his grandparents (who we know were super important to him since they were in his ‘most important people to you’ video from cannon), I think finding out everything he did would really mess with Kaito.

Gonta would also take it pretty hard, being seen as a gentleman is really important to him, which is why as a remnant he did his best to Not act like one. But finding out about that would just crush him. It’s not like the Remnants were very secretive either, everyone knows about what they were doing. There’d be a lot of shame and humiliation about how public it was on top of just the soul crushing fact they did all that stuff.

Honestly one of the most interesting parts of that would just be the dilemma of what to do next. They now know there’s nothing left for them to go back to out in the real world, all their families are dead, homes destroyed, everyone in the world knows they’re wanted global terrorists so it’s not like they’d be able to meet new friends or try to have a relationship with anyone outside the group.

So wouldn’t it almost be easier to stay in despair?

At least then they’d still enjoy everything that happened. It would be fine that they ruined their lives and had absolutely nothing left to go back to! Most of the Future Foundation wants them dead anyway, they probably wouldn’t even buy any talk of redemption. All they have is each other, and their despair, and the memories of Junko.

Of course for plot and consistency reasons the neo world should really end with whoever’s left as survivors (that is still up in the air for the most part though I know some that definitely will be blackeneds or victims) choosing the path of hope and defeating Junko and decidingly Not staying as remnants. Such a shame.

[animeomegas]

(infertile alpha request) oh, sorry! Preferably Naruto, Death Note or Obey me

(Thank you so much for clarifying! I’ve done Naruto and Death Note 💓 Enjoy!)

Naruto – He is a bit sad when he hears the news. He definitely wanted to adopt at least one child, so he’s not sad about never having children, because he knows he still can easily, but he was kinda really looking forward to being pregnant. He wanted to know what it was like, all the things he’d seen other couples go through (ultrasounds, cravings, birth classes), and it’s a little startling to have that dream suddenly ripped away from him. He’s not comfortable with any other conception methods, so he adopts all his children. But, when he’s cuddled up with his three adopted children, he can’t believe he was ever upset about not having biological children, and the thought that having biological children would have stopped him adopting all of his current children makes him feel sick because he can’t imagine a life without all his precious pups. Where would they be if he didn’t adopt them? Naruto decides that it was better this way, in the end.

Sasuke canon – Sasuke is very conflicted, at first. He had been clinging onto this dream of reviving his clan since he was a child, but now the only person he could ever tolerate having sex with can’t give him that… He’s not getting a donor, no way. There are no orphans from his clan to adopt. He honestly doesn’t know what to do, there seems to be no good answer. In the end, I think he would decide to just never use birth control and see what happens. The chances may be extremely slim, but he’s not comfortable with any other conception method, so it’s this or nothing. It might actually be quite a good experience for Sasuke in the end, because he is finally forced to examine some of the goals he clung to as a child to keep himself from breaking down and see if they are something he ever actually wanted. He might think about what life would have been like with his own pup occasionally, but he’s never been as happy as he is with his alpha and that is more than good enough for him (but not good enough for the council who harass him about having as many children as possible, constantly.)

Sasuke non-massacre AU – He doesn’t think it’s a big deal tbh. He got himself sterilised while he was in his early twenties because he didn’t want to deal with the possibility of getting pregnant, and he had to fight his clan for it! So, he’s glad that you won’t have to do that same, but it’s easier for alphas anyway. If you’re in a relationship with him, then you obviously don’t want pups, so he doesn’t think much about it. He’s like “Oh, okay,” then ends the discussion.

Shikamaru – This might be a problem… His child will be the next clan leader and they have to be of his blood, as is clan tradition. He would probably have to go for a donor to get pregnant, probably some distant clan member he’s never met before, but he feels really weird about it. He doesn’t like it, but he bites his tongue for once and gets on with it. He keeps it a secret from most people. The other biological parent is a clan member, so he just lets people believe that Shikamaru’s Nara genes were super strong, and that’s why there’s none of his alpha in their pup. I don’t think he would ever tell his pup that they weren’t biologically the child of both of their parents, he doesn’t think it matters and he doesn’t want to cause drama or have to involve the other bio parent if his pup asks after them. It’s better left as a family secret.

Shino – His situation is similar to Shikamaru’s. His child will be the next clan leader and in order to have a kikaichu and be trained like his clanmates, they have to be biologically an Aburame. Shino is also not comfortable with other conception methods, but mainly because he’s terrified of his alpha rejecting the pup if they aren’t theirs or reacting badly if Shino is pregnant with someone else. Some alphas have a hard time with those instincts and can’t accept non-biological pups or get violent when their mate is carrying someone else’s offspring. Shino is pretty scared. He also is so humiliated during the invasive insemination procedure. In the end, he had nothing to worry about, as his alpha was the perfect parent to their pup, but for about a year, Shino is constantly stressed that everything is going to change suddenly, and his mate will snap and leave them or something. It’s a tough time for him.

Neji – He’s actually quite relieved. It makes him feel a lot less guilty for his own fertility problems. If you’re both sterile, he’s sad that you’re both lacking something you want, but it makes dealing with his own problems easier. There are many orphans in the clan, so you both adopt from that pool, and Neji couldn’t be happier and prouder of his children.

Kakashi – Thank fuck for that. He got sterilised when he was in ANBU, just in case he had any missions that involved seduction. Kakashi might make a joke about how you’re lucky that you got to avoid the hospital and still be sterile. He wishes lol. Anything that helps him remain childless is good in his book.

Iruka – He makes sure his mate isn’t upset, but Iruka himself is totally fine. He wouldn’t mind not having children at all, and if they both decided to have children, Iruka would want to adopt anyway. He thinks it makes so much more sense to adopt when there are so many pups who need loving homes. He does get a little sad if his mate is sad though, but only out of empathy, not because he himself is sad.

Itachi canon – It is very helpful for him. While Itachi has issues with his heat and his health, he doesn’t have many problems getting pregnant, he just can't carry to term. And birth control is hard as a missing nin, so he’s very glad that he doesn’t have to worry about it. (Miscarriages are not fun, and with a fertile mate he would certainly have suffered through a few). It’s better for him this way, his circumstances prevent him from having children anyway.

Itachi non-massacre AU – He’s devastated. He doesn’t blame his alpha at all, but he’s very upset. His clan will never let him adopt, if they're losing one of their best shinobi to stay at home and raise children, those children better be the new top shinobi, so they have to be his biological children. He using artificial insemination, and he uses the sperm of another Uchiha (one that he's not directly related to). The clan elders are overjoyed that Itachi's pups will be 100% Uchiha blood rather than mixed. But Itachi is very, very firm about making legal protections for his mate as their pups' parent. He doesn't want his clan to pull anything to try and exclude his alpha or claim that his mate doesn't have authority over their own child. He's very firm about those conditions.

Sai – Huh, well, he hadn’t given pups much thought tbh. He’s totally okay with not having children, he genuinely doesn’t care that much. He likes it just being his alpha and him, so why change it?

Gaara – He’s another one who is completely devastated when he hears the news, but he is very stoic about it on the outside because he wants to be a good support for his alpha who might be struggling. He really mourns being able to carry his alpha’s pups. He doesn’t want to adopt because he really wants to carry a pup and breastfeed and everything, but he’s also worried about his alpha feeling betrayed or excluded if he goes for a sperm donor. He’s desperate for his own children, two at least, so he wants to use a sperm donor.

...

L – He nods and files it away in his brain with all the other information about his beloved, but he doesn’t file it as important. You have already agreed to not have children, so it doesn’t matter either way.

Light – Hmm, this is a problem for his plan. He needs someone to take over the perfect world he’s creating, and he was planning on it being the biological child of him and his mate. Well, it needs to be his child, but it doesn’t matter too much if it’s also his alpha’s biological child. Light isn’t comfortable with artificial insemination, but he’s down for seducing one of his fangirls/fanboys and using them. He wouldn’t tell them that the pup is theirs though because he doesn’t want to be tied down to someone he can’t stand. If they got too suspicious that his pup was theirs, they might find themselves the victims of a mysterious death.

Matsuda – He’s distraught for you and himself. He’s a very traditional person who wants traditional things, a couple of kids, a nice house, a dog, that kind of thing. He would want to try every possible method to conceive naturally, but after two years going back and forth between various fertility clinics, it’s clear that he’s not going to get what he wants. Matsuda goes back and forth between various other methods but eventually decides to adopt an infant. He never really stops hoping that he’ll magically become pregnant, but that doesn’t mean he loves his child any less, because he absolutely dotes on them.

[belphies-cuhm-sluht]

Could I please request the brothers reaction to a normally fiesty and strong female MC flinching at the sight of an emotionally abusive Ex. She remains strong and tries to play it off, but its clear shes not okay.

Brothers When MC Changes When Seeing An Emotionally Abusive Ex 

Warning (Mention of Emotional Abuse)

I didn’t actually mention what the ex did and I made this GN because anyone can experience any type of abuse, sadly.

Lucifer 

You were always so spunky, sassy, that’s what had drawn his attention to you in the first place. This little vacation that he had set up in the human world was something that he had planned a while ago, and now that the two of you finally had some free time, he was able to enjoy some time with you while you showed him around your hometown. He found it cute how excited you would get when you passed small stores, pointing to them and telling him how you always went there when you were younger but never actually going in. You would just pull him along behind you, almost as if you were scared that time would run out before you got to show him everything, although he would have been able to bring you back up at any time. The change was so noticeable, it was almost like hitting a brick wall. You had stopped running, your voice dropping so low he could barely even hear you anymore. Had he done something wrong? Not act excited enough? “What is it, Darling?” He tilted your head up to look at you, he saw the sadness in your eyes before you shook your head. “It’s nothing, let’s just go the other way…” He saw your eyes dart up, looking at the person who was walking down the sidewalk, heading towards the two of you. “Really. It's nothing. I’m just getting hungry.” You tried to sound unbothered as you turned around, but he knew otherwise. He let you pull him in the other direction, and once you got somewhere where you could both talk in private he asked why you reacted that way and you reluctantly explained everything. He grabbed your hand and squeezed it lightly, offering you a soft smile and sweet words that would help keep your mind off your ex for the rest of the evening. Once you’re asleep he will go out and find your ex and teach him a lesson, scare the hell out of him, and tell him that he’ll be waiting in hell for him when his time comes. No one dies, but it was really hard for Lucifer to keep it that way. 

Mammon 

Your feistiness was so attractive to him, he thought it was both hot and cute at the same time. You didn’t put up with anyones shit, and you had that attitude as soon as you entered the house. He thought it was amazing that you stood up to a bunch of demons, especially Lucifer, even he was too nervous to do that so he thought you were like, super badass. When you told him that you had managed to convince Lucifer to let the two of you up to the human world for a little trip, he was beyond excited. You were taking him on a sightseeing tour throughout the city, showing him your favorite hangout spots and where you’d go when you just needed to get away for a bit. The places wouldn’t have seemed very special if he had come across them by himself, but now that he knew they were your spots he thought they were amazing. As you walked down the street, window shopping and just goofing off, he noticed your body tense up and your head dropping to look at your feet. “Oi, you alright, babe?” He looked around, seeing if someone had maybe passed by and touched you because that would be unacceptable and he would handle that real quick. When you only nodded your head he realized that it was something more than that. If it was the latter you would have handled that person yourself, so whatever was wrong with you now, it must have been really bad. “Yeah. I just think it’s time we go now, don’t you?” You said to him, your eyes quickly glancing over at the person who was staring straight at the two of you. He nodded quickly, taking you back to that spot you had told him about, hoping that you’d tell him what was going on. When he found out that it was your ex and that they emotionally abused you?!?! Oh he didn’t like that, and it took every ounce of control for him not to go and find your ex right now to teach them a lesson. He waited to get back to the hotel, watching you get comfy in your bed before excusing himself under the guise of wanting to run out and get something. He’d yell at your ex, and not only that, he’d change into his demon form just to scare him a little more. Of course, his voice kind of broke because he got choked up when he thought of anyone hurting you… but he did what he had to do, and he’d do it again. No one messes with The Great Mammon’s human! 

Leviathan

The fact that you were so strong and so feisty actually made him weary, but once he figured out how fun you were to actually be around that weariness faded almost completely. Not only were you fun to be around, but you also stood up for him a lot when he was too awkward and anxious to do so himself. When you told him about a trip up to the human world he was slightly put off by it, but then you told him about this arcade that you used to go to and his thoughts immediately changed. An arcade?! That’s so cool! He’s always wanted to go to an arcade up in the human world, but Lucifer told him that it was unnecessary to open the portal just so he could play some video games. Now he could actually do that, and also hang out with you at the same time! It was awesome! He sat on the little chair in front of the Pac-Man machine as you stood right next to him, cheering him on as his score climbed higher and higher. Then you stopped and your hand gripped onto his shoulder tightly, and at first he thought that maybe you just got worried that he was about to lose, until he looked up at you and saw your jaw clenched and your eyes looking around the room as if you were looking for someone. “Everything okay, Y/N?” He asked, and you quickly loosened up, smiling down at him and nodding. “Yeah, it’s just getting late. We should head back.” That wasn’t like you at all, and he could tell that your smile was forced. He nodded, slowly getting up from the chair and leading you out of the arcade, noticing your body tense up as you walked past one of the employees. He knew it wasn’t a good sign, but he didn’t want to force you to talk about it. No matter what, whether you told him or not, he would stay by your side and cuddle with you until all your worries melted away. You were always so strong for him, it was his turn to be strong for you. 

Asmodeus 

The two of you together were like an unstoppable force not to be reckoned with. His personality mixed with yours, it was like the perfect cocktail. If anyone even attempted to talk down to you, he would sass them and put them in their rightful place. If anyone said anything about him you would shut them down in the blink of an eye. Everyone knew not to mess with the two of you, whether you were together or apart, it would never end well. When you invited him to go shopping in the human world with you, he was more than happy to go with you. You were trying on an outfit, ready to step out and show it off when you saw your ex walk into the store, quickly shutting the curtain again. “What’s the matter, Y/N?! I thought that outfit looked cute!” You chuckled from behind the curtain, stepping out and trying to act like nothing was wrong, but, being so close to Asmo had its flaws. He could read you so well, and he quickly looked around the store. “Is someone messing with you here? Do I need to speak to someone?” You knew he would too, so you quickly shook your head, grabbing yours and his pile of clothes and heading to the front counter. You didn’t have to say anything, he was looking around the store and he immediately picked out your ex, noticing that they were staring at you a little too much for his liking. Do not try to hold him back because he is going to completely berate everything about your ex in front of everyone so they’re humiliated and they’ll never look at you again. Then he’ll take you to the spa because you deserve it and you’re perfect and he just wants you to relax.

Satan 

Barnes and Nobles was having a book sale, you got an email about it and of course you wanted to go. You went to Satan first, obviously, and he quickly agreed to go. A bookstore with the only person he could stand to be around for long periods of times, other than Belphie. Sounds great, what are you waiting for? He really did enjoy your presence. You were feisty and you weren’t afraid to straighten him out when he was acting out of sorts. You were strong willed, and you didn’t let anyone step on you. You were nobody's floor mat, and he respected that about you.  Barnes and Nobles was packed, and he was shocked to see that so many humans actually still enjoyed reading because most of the humans he had met were idiots who seemed like they hadn’t picked up a book in their life. Maybe he was just being judgy, but, that doesn’t matter, he was in a store filled with books and you were right there next to him, it was the perfect day. While browsing through the sections you had somehow tripped over seemingly nothing, fumbling back into the bookshelf and he quickly caught you, looking around to see if someone had pushed you or something. “What happened? Are you alright?” He wasn’t letting on that he was worried, at least he thought he wasn’t, but your entire demeanor changed and that confused him. Your shoulders were tense and your pupils were dilated as if you had just seen a ghost or something. “Tell me.” He wasn’t going to let it go, so it would probably be best to take him somewhere private where no one else was around because as soon as you let him figure out what was wrong he’s gonna flip out. He’ll try to keep his cool because now that he knows, he doesn’t want to upset you, but he is mentally plotting your ex’s soon to be suspicious death. You’re so strong, and he doesn’t want anyone to break you, not the way your ex did. Never again. 

Beelzebub

Your feistiness was adorable to him, and you were always so strong, it was just precious. To him, you were like a little tiger cub, your rawr was small compared to his, but still just as mighty. He absolutely adored you and he would protect you at all costs. When you told him that you were going back up to the human world to visit some family he quickly offered to go with you. Not just because he really wanted to go with you, but also because the mere thought of food from the human world had his stomach growling. Of course you let him go with you, you loved having him around and you wanted to show him to some of your favorite restaurants and fast food joints that helped keep your stomach full during late nights spent up. Your hand was in his, swinging back and forth as you walked down the busy sidewalk, talking about random things that weren’t really important to you, but he found highly interesting and promised to remember either way. He felt someone bump into your shoulder, the bump pushing you into him lightly. Usually you would tell the person to watch where they’re going, or just laugh it off, joking about how clumsy and careless people were. This time though, you froze up, and even if it were just for a split second, he felt it. “Hey, what’s wrong? Did the bump hurt you?” You quickly looked up at him, laughing softly and tsking your tongue. “What? Pfft, no! Come on, we’re almost at the restaurant.” He didn’t believe a word you said, but the mention of food had him pushing that thought back, at least long enough to fill his stomach. He never brought it back up to you, he didn’t like the way you tensed up, it wasn’t normal for you. The person's face was etched into his brain, and as soon as the two of you got back to the Devildom and you fell asleep, he went right back up to the Human Realm. He didn’t need to get physically violent, his appearance alone was enough to frighten your ex, but he didn’t think that was enough, so he changed into his demon form. You had already been hurt, and he couldn’t do anything but promise to never hurt you like that, but he would make sure that your ex did that to no one else in the future. 

Belphegor 

Your personality traits were nothing short of entertaining to him, especially when that feistiness came out during conversations with Lucifer. It was his favorite thing, and he’d talk about it for days, especially if Lucifer would look shocked or insulted afterwards, it was hilarious. The trip to the human world wasn’t something that he wanted to do at all, but you had promised to lay in bed with him all day if he went with you and that was one offer he couldn’t refuse. You walked with him through the mall which was packed with people and he was visibly annoyed by the fact that you dragged him out on a Saturday, but that promise you made kept him from forcing you to go back and pick a different day to go out. You started pulling him toward one of your favorite stores, only to stop dead in your tracks and turn around which confused him to say the least. “What?” He was already on edge the entire time, being around so many humans, it wasn’t fun for him and he just wanted to go home and take a nap. When you acted that way, it only made him feel worse, his eyes scanning the entire mall. “Oh I just, I smelled the pretzel place and I really want a pretzel.” His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t have the patience to question it, and he honestly just wanted to get out of there so he let you lead him in the complete opposite direction. “You’re just like Beel sometimes.” He made the joke just to lighten his own mood, but now his eyes were scanning the entire mall. He had memorized every face of every person that had been standing in front of the both of you when you turned around, and now he was scanning the mall for any of those faces, seeing if any of them stopped and looked at you a little too long. He didn’t mention it to you, but a small smile crept onto his face as he made new plans for the night. Somehow your ex’s body was found in a river the next day. How strange. But don’t worry about it, just take a nap with him, you promised, remember?

[forsworned]

can i request a Rengoku x fem or male reader where he becomes completely smitten with the reader after they always make him snacks (and then some). mayybe he confesses in the end, idkk✨

[♥] love confession. {renguko kyoujurou x reader}

Genre: Fluff, Fluff and more Fluff!!

Categories: F/M

Relationships: Renguko Kyoujurou/Reader

Word count: 1,839

a/n: ahhhh!! i'm so sorry this took me so long to make. i hate writing when i'm not in the mood bc it signifiicantly depletes the quality of my writing and that's just no fair for you guys, i hope ypu enjoy this :) requests are open!

To say that Kyoujurou simply enjoyed snacks was an understatement. He was a snack fiend. He had a bad habit of carrying snacks anywhere and everywhere. Compliments to Mitsuri for making him pick it up.

[Name] would watch him pull them out of his sleeves. His uniform pockets and occasionally from in between the buttons of uniform. On multiple occasions, he’d sneak some mini taiyaki and other times senbei. When she was around him and she’d catch him, he laugh at himself and offer her some, which of course she would never deny. Kyoujurou was too cute to deny in her eyes.

Until one day, she had noticed that he hadn’t been snacking all day. Not once, not even a nibble and even that was enough to spark some suspicion on her end.

[Name] pondered all the times she had seen him that day and each time she had remembered, he seemed a little sad. Was it because he ran out of them?

Just then she had conjured up an idea. What if I made a bunch of his favorite snacks? That would definitely cheer him up!

Honestly, [Name] would do anything to see him smile and she would stop at nothing to get it. And slowly, but surely, that is exactly what she did.

It became a daily routine to bring Kyoujurou any snack she knew he would enjoy. And of course, he would accept every time because he simply could not get enough of [Name's] homemade snacks. Every time that he would ask what she would add to her food, she would insist that the secret ingredient was "love".

Which would obviously fly over his head (god bless his heart) because Kyoujurou was so oblivious it hurt. But like [Name] had firmly stated with all her heart. She wouldn't stop at nothing to get what she wanted. And what she wanted was Kyoujurou. So like any corny, cliche storyline, [Name] had told Kyoujurou that she planned a sort of taste testing for an upcoming cooking competition she had.

But like the good spirited man Kyoujurou was, he happily agreed. He would do anything to help his fellow comrades out. [Name] could jump for joy, but she held it in and instead gave him a time to meet up her place. Kyoujurou smiled his usual smile before bowing.

"See you then!"

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

By this time, she had already been in the kitchen for over two hours now whipping up a bunch of Kyoujurou's favorite snacks. The oven dinged signaling that her sweet potatoes were done. She pulled them out and set them down on the counter. [Name] was delighted with herself because not only was she done, but she had successfully prepared everything. The sweet potatoes were roasted to perfection and she set the scallion butter she also made on the side.

Now she had sakura mochi, senbei and takoyai. She wanted to keep it both sweet and savory so that he could enjoy both equally. All that was left was to surprise him.

[Name] pulled her pocket watch out of her breast pocket and checked the time.

He should be here any minute.

Her heart was pounding in her chest the more she thought about it. Somehow she had mustered up the courage to ask Kyoujurou to come to her humble abode--alone. And (mostly) happily obliged. There was still the lingering sadness about him that made her heart ache.

"[Name]?' She heard his voice call out and her anxiety peaked as she rushed to the door with a scarf in her hand.

"Yes, stay right there, please!"

And immediately he halted all actions and words. [Name] opened her door to see the fiery blonde smiling brightly at her and her breath caught in her throat.

"Hello, [Name]." His expression now slightly surprised, mouth in an "o" shape as he points to her cheek. "What's this?"

[Name's] cheeks dusted with a pink hue as she swiped her face and looked at her finger to see flour on it. She seemed alarmed which was enough to cause him to laugh at her.

"You wanted to show me something?" His voice soft now. And it took every once of [Name] to look him in the eyes and when she did, she could tell the same sadness was clouding his gaze.

She gulped and nodded her head as she pulled put the scarf. "You gotta put this on first."

Kyoujurou's cheeks visibly pinkened but he agreed and bent his head down as [Name] gently wrapped the makeshift blindfold around his eyes. Her fingers brushing against his skin was enough to send a shiver down his spine as she felt the wisps of her hair tickle her skin. She tightened the knot and Kyoujurou felt a lump form in his throat.

Her hands now in his as she tugged him along to her kitchen. Neither of them spoke as she led them there. Just two hearts thumping silently against their chests, unbeknownst to one another.

"You can take it off now." Her voice barely a whisper, but he heard quite well.

Her unraveled the loose knot and his eyes were now fully uncovered. Kyoujurou felt his heart stammer a bit , while his fiery orbs widened in blissful surprise.

"Surprise!" She cheered and she jumped with arms wide.

Kyoujurou did not move, just simply stood there speechless. His eyes carefully scanned the counter that was filled with his favorite treats and then to [Name]. He didn't know how to feel in that moment. He didn't know another human being was capable of making him feel a million and one emotions all at once. No one had ever done him such a courtesy and it made his heart swell.

His silence caused [Name] to twiddle her fingers nervously awaiting a response.

"Do you not like it?" Her voice was a squeak now. He gulped as he blinked back the tears stinging at his eyes. And then he did something that [Name] least expected. He had enveloped her in his warmth and squeezed her with such tenderness that she had never felt before.

"Thank you, [Name]." He breathed out. His chin sat on her shoulder blade as he closed his eyes and a small tear slipped out. He quickly wiped it away before pulling back and looking at [Name] who was staring at him with broadened [e/c] hues.

"No one has ever done me the honor of blessing me with such a thoughtful surprise." His smile was bright and cheery as ever. [Name] felt like her heart was going to implode.

"I'm in love with you."

She just blurted it out. Not intentionally. It just kind of came out. So abruptly in fact, that Kyoujurou immediately started to burn up. No one had ever confessed to him (false, many have confessed but he always took it as admiration and would pat them on the shoulder and smile completely oblivious).

"Eh?"

Was all that came out of his mouth. He didn't know [Name] liked him like that?! Sure she was super pretty, but Kyoujurou always thought she would take a liking to Giyuu since she was always poking at him trying to get him to talk. It's not that he didn't find her attractive, he very much did. But, again, it just absolutely threw him off because in his mind she could have any man she desired. But him? She liked, no--loved him?

"Ah! I mean--I--"

[Name] was at an unfortunate loss for words and she couldn't do anything to take it back, so she just braced herself for the consequences.

"Y-you're--" He pointed to her. "in love with me?" He then pointed to himself in shock. And [Name] thought she was going to pass out.

"Uh, yes. I am in love with you, Kyoujurou. I hope that this doesn't ruin our friendship..."

[Name] felt defeated at this point. She really couldn't tell if he felt embarrassed because he didn't return her feelings or not. Kyoujurou finally swallowed the lump in his throat. He noticed that [Name] was on edge and obviously needed an answer and none of his antsiness.

"I didn't think I was your type. I am extremely flattered." He deadpanned as he bowed respectfully in most erect manner.

[Name] felt an embarrassed sweat drop on the back of her head form.

"Y-you are?"

"Yes! I would find it most desirable if we formed an intimate bond!"

"Uh, Kyoujurou."

"Yes!"

"You can stop bowing now."

"Right!"

Kyoujurou was met with [Name's] glimmering eyes and flushed face and he saw her for more than his fellow comrade.

"Do you mean that." She hesitantly stepped forward. He courageously embraced her face with the rough palms of his hands against her smooth skin.

"Yes, I do. It would be an honor to have you by my side. If you would let me, of course." His voice smooth and even as he spoke. An illusion Kyoujurou had to conjure up to steady his beating heart.

"The honor is mine."

[Name's] face leaned forward and he felt her breath delicately aerating against his skin. And that's when his illusion broke because Kyoujurou had turned just as fiery red as the hair on his head and turned away in agitation.

[Name] was confused by his sudden humiliation. Did her breath smell bad?

"M-my apologies. I just got a little apprehensive when you got close." He gulped dryly as he peeped at her expression, but [Name] just burst into laughter.

She didn't think she had the capability of turning Kyoujurou into a flustered mess, nevertheless here he was doing just that. Oh, how the tables have turned.

"We don't need to rush anything, Kyo." She held a hand over mouth to hide her delight.

His blush intensified at the nickname. How much more was she going to embarrass him?!

She grabbed his hand and led him to the table where she was going to set everything up.

"Let's eat."

He followed her lead and sat adjacent from her and instantly his mouth watered as she set the dishes in front of them

"Thank you, again, [Name]. Really."

[Name] waved a hand as if to reassure him it was nothing as she took a chunk out of her sakura mochi. He quietly took a bite from his sweet potatoes and he was filled immediately with the void he had developed from years of coldness.

Soft, supple lips found themselves on his cheek and he felt his face flare up mid bite. [Name's] melodious laugh filled the room as she confidently took a bite from his chopsticks. Oh yes, the tables have indeed turned.

"Thank you for coming." She flirted as she made her fingers walk on his lap. His eyes followed them as they got closer to his upper thigh and he wondered where the shy [Name] had went. Another fit of laughter bubbled out of her throat as she faltered to the tatami mat.

"You are so cute, Kyo!"

It was only the beginning of [Name] driving Kyoujurou insane.

[jungshookz]

the one where yoongi hates his therapist but kind of likes her receptionist; lveb!verse

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; lveb!universe equal parts emotionally constipated and cheeky yoongi!! the man of our dreams!! i don’t really know what to categorize this drabble as but it’s cute and it’s sfw <3 

➺ wordcount: 5k 

➺ summary; yoongi hates going to therapy - but you and your dumb little hershey kisses make it a tiny bit better, he supposes. 

➺ what to expect; “you like a man who’s unable to form emotional bonds with people, baby?”

➺ optional reading: not necessary but feel free to read la vie en bonsai just to get a feel for what yoongi’s like and why we’re all falling hopelessly in love with him!! 

                                          »»————-　♡　————-««

“see you next week, yoongi!”

“uh-huh, yep.” the smile on yoongi’s face drops as soon as he shuts the door behind him and he immediately rolls his eyes

well

that was an hour and a half of his life that could’ve gone towards something more productive

watching paint dry probably would’ve been more productive than whatever the hell that was

dr. i-don’t-have-chairs-but-i-have-beanbags basically spent the entire session asking him to list out things that he loved which he thought was going to be an easy task because he liked a lot of things!

and everything was easy peasy lemon squeezy until dr. glittery-purple-nameplate pointed out that yoongi kept saying that he ‘liked’ this and he ‘liked’ that and he’d never actually said he ‘loved’ anything once and then she went into the whole ‘why do you think you’re so scared of love?’ thing and his eyes rolled so far back into his skull that he actually saw his pink, wrinkly brain

he knows that she’s just doing her job but he’d really appreciate if one of his sessions with her just consisted of the two of them sitting in silence while scrolling through their phones

he even asked her one time if it’d be alright if they did that just so he could tell his friend (the one that sent him here) that he willingly sat through an entire session of therapy 

obviously she said no and yoongi resisted the urge to use that as an excuse to give her 1/5 stars on google reviews (unfortunately the option to give 0 stars isn’t available) 

it’s just really hard to believe that dr. are-you-more-comfortable-opening-up-to-my-homemade-handpuppet-rory-the-lion has 5/5 shining gold stars on basically every single one of her google reviews

yoongi should be happy that he’s going to one of the best therapists in the city but he’s noT because: he doesn’t even need therapy!

he doesn’t even know why he’s here!

he shouldn’t be in therapy!

he’s min frickin yoongi!!

what the hell does he need a therapist for??

what the hell does he need therapy for?!

he can literally solve his own problems

if he’s sad he just plays video games all day and also eats an entire pint of ice cream  

if he’s mad he just plays violent video games all day and aggressively shoves an entire pint of ice cream into his mouth

he’s spent his entire life coming up with different coping mechanisms for himself and he thinks that he has a pretty good grip on his emotions

the only one that he’s a little iffy about is obviously <3 love <3 but-

that’s not a big deal, is it?

yes, technically speaking, he’s “emotionally unavailable” or whatever, but he really doesn’t know why that’s such an issue

yes, the thought of committing to someone in a long-term relationship and the thought of saying “i love you” to someone makes him want to rip his skin off but again, he really doesn’t know why that’s such a big iSSUE

besides

emotional unavailability is sexy

whenever he tells someone that he’s incapable of loving and the sex we’re going to have in three seconds will be animalistic and primal and will also mean nothing to me whatsoever their underwear basically flies off their legs and out the window

so, again: what! is! the! big! problem!

the only reason why he’s here is because, as mentioned earlier, one of his friends set up an appointment for him because god knows he’s not here of his own accord

(also, she did it without asking him first, so he’s still a little upset with her, but she made him a whole batch of brownies as a form of an apology so now he’s a little less upset with her. just a little, though.)

he knows she means well and only wants the best for him but he’s starting to think that maybe she sent him here to torture him and not to help him

his original plan was to go for like one or two sessions and then end it there buT there’s just a teeny little detail he has yet to mention 

there is one (1) thing that keeps him coming back every week

he’d even go as far as to say that this thing is the only thing that motivates him to continue to waste his hard-earned money on these weekly appointments

and that thing is-

“yoongi!” your eyes light up and yoongi can’t help but smile at how excited you are to see him even though you literally saw him when he was checking in an hour and a half ago, “how was your session?”

“it was-”

“oh, wait!” you gasp before pressing a finger up against your lips, “i don’t know if i’m legally allowed to ask you that. pretend i didn’t said anything.”

“my session was fine-” yoongi ignores you as he folds his arms up on the counter and leans forward, “i’m still dead on the inside and the concept of love remains ever so terrifying, so… yeah! everything’s pretty much the same.”

“ah, yes.” you lean forward as well, “that’s exactly what every girl wants to hear.”

“oh yeah?” the corner of yoongi’s mouth twitches in a smirk, “you like a man who’s unable to form emotional bonds with people, baby?” he asks in a particularly sultry tone and you grin in response

“you gotta stop calling me that before i fully fall in love with you, yoongi-” you sigh dramatically before flittering your lashes at him and yoongi laughs lightly, “well, it is what it is. one day at a time, right?”

“baby steps.” yoongi hums and you nod in agreement before suddenly perking up

“hey- you want a kiss?”

another reason why yoongi enjoys your company is because you keep a little gumball machine on your desk

except you despise gumballs (you told him that on his very first day here when he asked you why there were no gumballs in what was obviously a mini gumball machine) so you filled it up with hershey’s chocolate kisses instead (you change the flavour of them every week! last week they were the milk chocolate almond ones)

“a kiss? from you?” yoongi digs his hands into his pockets, “at least let me put some chapstick on first, darling.”

“you know what i mean, yoongi.” you roll your eyes playfully before plopping the machine down in front of him, “they’re the cookies and creme ones this week!”

"mhm. whatever helps you sleep at night, y/n.”

                                                                  ♡

“see you next week, yoongi!”

“you got it, chief.” yoongi forces a smile before promptly shutting the door behind him

he lets out a huff before shaking his hair out of his eyes

somehow the hour and a half in there felt more like four hours and a half

he kept looking at the clock and whenever he thought that at least a good twenty minutes had gone by, it’d turn out that only like two and a half minutes had gone by!

he feels like maybe once the door is shut that time just ceases to exist

today he was forced to talk about all of the romantic relationships he’s ever had and that’s something that he’s never really discussed with… anyone, really.

not even his closest friends! 

yoongi’s had a multitude of flings but he’s been in three serious-ish relationships (yes, he knows that’s a huge surprise) - obviously none of them worked out because he’s now in therapy for his intimacy issues, but still

needless to say, they messed him up pretty bad

see, his problem was (and you probably wouldn’t be able to guess it after looking at him) the fact that he… fell in love too hard and way too fast.

his first one was in high school - he was pretty much ready to marry this girl and even gave her a promise ring to which she freaked out and broke up with him on the spot 

(she said she felt that it would be better if they broke up since they were both going off to different universities and long distance relationships were tough)

(on the same day they broke up she immediately changed her facebook status back to single which yoongi thought was a pretty icy thing to do)

his second one was in his first year of university (not very long after the high school breakup because that’s how desperate he was to fall in love again) and he wasn’t super sure if he loved this person or if he just wanted to fill the empty void inside of him bUT after two months of dating yoongi asked them if they wanted to move into the same dorm together for the second semester of first year - they said no. 

and then they broke up with him. 

and yoongi ended up with a single-person dorm, which was great!

:D because it meant no one could hear him crying himself to sleep at night worrying that he would never find true love and that no one would ever love him :D

and finally, with his last relationship, he told [unnamed person because yoongi would like to keep that private, thank you very much] that he loved them, like, two weeks after they’d started properly dating (they’d known each other for a year before getting together so yoongi didn’t think it was that weird. it’s not that weird, right??)

long story short, they didn’t say it back, and instead responded with: “oh! thank… you?” and that was a pretty devastating (and humiliating) blow for yoongi and it was after that breakup that he decided that things just had to change

he couldn’t be this person for the rest of his life!

this pathetic wimpy shrimPY little ‘<3 i love you <3’ weak-ass PUNK

eventually he figured that if he just turned all his emotions off, he wouldn’t run into anymore issues

it’s like that saying mo’ money mo’ problems except in this case it would be less emotions less problems

and he thinks it’s been working out pretty well for him so far!

he’s never gotten attached to any of his one-night stands (although he can’t say the same for them, because c’mon - he’s an absolute catch)

and he kind of takes pleasure knowing that they want to have something more with him when he doesn’t want anything at all

he likes playing with feelings

it’s like dangling a piece of candy over a little baby

it’s fun!

…does that make him a twisted individual? 

is he going to go to hell for being a little emotionally manipulative?

also he always finds himself snickering whenever one of his friends started talking about how much they love (gags) their significant others

even the one who sent him here - she just started dating someone in her apartment building - is fully in love with her significant other (he might even go as far to say it was love at first sight for the both of them (double gag)) and sometimes yoongi has to shove a croissant into her mouth just to get her to stop blabbing about how fond she is of her boyfriend

after all this time, yoongi has finally figured out that love is merely a concept

it’s not real!

it’s an idea. 

love is not real.

so, again - yoongi genuinely doesn’t see the issue with being emotionally unavailable. 

this isn’t just him being stubborn or anything - he literally cannot come up with one single reason as to why being emotionally constipated is such a bad thing 

real life constipation is pretty bad but emotional constipation is totally fine! 

emotions make everything that much more difficult and he doesn’t have the time nor the energy to deal with it

being emotionally unavailable makes life easy, breezy AND beautiful!

...

of course, there is the one slight issue that sometimes pops into his mind

is he okay with being like this for the rest of his life?

because if he is, he’s… literally going to die alone.

sure, his friends will be there (unless they die before him, in which case he’s actually going to be alone), but even yoongi has to admit that platonic companionship and romantic companionship are two entirely different things 

is he truly incapable of falling in love with someone? 

he... doesn’t like thinking about that

he prefers to keep those gloomy thoughts tucked away in the dusty basement of his brain

he’d much rather think about-

“yoongi!” you greet as enthusiastically as always as yoongi rounds the corner, “have fun today?”

fun?

in therapy?

that’s hilarious.

“fun? oh, yeah.” yoongi snorts as he folds his arms up on the countertop, “i even got to talk to rory today.”

the two of you exchange knowing glances and you snort before quickly reaching up to clap a hand over your mouth

hey! 

you’re supposed to be supportive of rory’s role in therapy!

he has a very important job

one might say that his job of providing emotional support is far more important that yours, you measly little receptionist

you make appointments all day but rory saves lives 

“well, i’m… glad that rory is helping you during these trying times.” you clear your throat as you straighten up in your seat

if you get caught making fun of rory you’re dead meat

“mhm.” yoongi nods before leaning over a little, “now gimme a kiss, babe.”

your heart skips a beat in your chest and you can’t help but grin when yoongi turns his head and points to his cheek, “well?”

“milk chocolate caramel this week, babe.” you hum as you place the little gumball machine in front of him

“ooh, yummy-“ yoongi’s eyes widen in excitement as he cranks the metal knob, “so, you got any plans tonight?”

a single kiss plops out and he opens up the little metal flap to take it out

“eh, i mean i guess i do?” you shift in your seat before shrugging, “sort of.”

yoongi raises a brow as he unwraps the tin foil, “what’s that supposed to mean? you got a hot date or something?”

“...yep!”

wait what

yoongi pauses right as he’s about to pop the chocolate into his mouth

because he was… just kidding about that

that was supposed to be a joke

“oh!” yoongi clears his throat, “well, who- who are you… who are you going out with? tell me about them.”

“oh, you don’t wanna-” you shake your head, “the details are boring, i promise it’s nothing to geek out over-”

“no, c’mon! tell me.” yoongi shoves the wrapping into his mouth as the chocolate melts over his tongue, “give me the deets.”

“alright, well…” you reach up to push your glasses up, “i actually met him at the club that he works at! he’s a bartender. we’ve gone out on a couple of dates and he’s really nice! he’s super nice, i just- i don’t know. i guess i just- there’s not much of a spark, you know? he’s taken me out four times and he kissed me on the last one and it was nice but… i don’t know. i’m not sure i even know where i’m going with this story- b-but he’s nice!”

yoongi nods slowly as he pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek

ah

well

good for you!

whatever

you’re going on a date and it’s whatever

it’s not like he cares

because if he cared it would imply that he has feelings for you

and in case it wasn’t already clear, yoongi is incapable of having any feelings at all because that’s just who he is

he’s spent years building his status as an emotionless android and he’s not going to let a stinky girl like you ruin it (you are not stinky. you smell like pears and it’s very pleasing to his nostrils. and he hates that he spent thirty minutes at the drugstore sniffing multiple shampoos until he found the one that he’s pretty sure is the one you use. and now his pillows smell like you.) 

“nice, nice…” yoongi mutters under his breath, “anyways, i should, um, probably go! i’m like, two minutes away from getting a parking ticket-” he laughs nervously before reaching up to scratch the back of his head

“oh! okay, yeah-” you take the gumball machine down and set it back down next to your monitor, “are you- is everything okay?”

yoongi’s no longer looking at you and you’re usually the first one to break eye contact so this is… odd  

“yeah, i just- i remembered i had a thing, so-” yoongi coughs into his fist, “yeah, i gotta go.”

“should i- should i put you down for next week, or-” you get up from your seat quickly when yoongi basically sprints towards the elevators

“yeah!” he flicks his wrist at you, “um, yeah- go for it. i’m just gonna-”

ding!

the elevator doors slide open and yoongi rushes in at the speed of light

“s-same time, or-”

the door glide shut before you get a chance to finish asking your question and you can’t help but feel a little… rejected?

even though you’re not entirely sure what it is you’re being rejected by

that was weird

that was weird, right?

it’s not just your imagination?

you frown to yourself as you plop back down on your squeaky chair

maybe your chocolates tasted funky or something?

you unwrap one for yourself before popping it into your mouth

…

no, the chocolates are fine!

what went wrong?

you chew on the inside of your cheek anxiously as you quickly go through what just happened

everything was fine

everything was normal up until the point you said you were going out on a date…

oOh, maybe you shouldn’t have brought up dates or anything like that

you don’t know too much about yoongi’s sessions besides the fact that he has intimacy issues but maybe the subject of dating was triggering for him?

damnit

you idiot!

this is why you could never be a therapist because you’d probably end up traumatizing your patients instead of helping them 

you should’ve just told yoongi that your plans tonight involved NO dating and it was just going to be you going to town on a pizza at home

it’s too bad

you were kind of hoping the reason why he started acting so weirdly was because he didn’t want you to go out on a date

here’s the thing: 

you… you sort of… have a little crush on yoongi. at least, you think you do.

you can’t help it!

he’s surprisingly very sweet and he has that boyish charm that you’re really into anD he’s also super goofy AND hello!!!! even when you’re not wearing your glasses you can see that he’s really attractive!!!

sometimes you find yourself daydreaming about that smirk of his 

it just makes you feel tingly 

...

what were you talking about again?

oh

right! 

you’re pretty sure the two of you use the same shampoo and you don’t want to be that person but... 

match made in heaven? 

you’d like to think so. 

you just don’t want to ruin this super fun and bantery and also kind of flirty relationship you have with him (though, now that you’re thinking about it, you can’t help but wonder if it’s actual flirting or if yoongi’s just doing his thing) and you knoW he’s definitely going to freak out if you’re suddenly like hey,.,. do u,.,. maybe wanna go out on a date or something.,,. because i think i have a teeny crush on you because even though you’re dead on the inside you are OBSCENELY charming and witty and attractive and everything i want in a significant other,.,.

yoongi would run for the hills if he ever found out you felt that way about him!

“good going, y/n.” you grumble to yourself as you lean back against your chair

well

you can worry about your yoongi-related issues later

you have a date with a cute bartender to get to

a cute, very nice bartender

                                                                 ♡

yoongi’s jealous.

at least, he thinks he’s jealous

this is weird, right?

because yoongi doesn’t get jealous!

he doesn’t get jealous over anything so whY does he not like the idea of you going out with someone who isn’t him?

yoongi squeezes his fingers tighter around his steering wheel as he stares ahead with knitted brows

he left the office like half an hour ago and now he’s just been sitting in his car in silence

and before you ask, yes, there was a parking ticket tucked behind his windshield wiper when he came down here

“jealous, jealous…” yoongi mutters to himself before shaking his head and letting out a huff, “no. i’m not jealous. i’m not!”

he’s not jealous because he doesn’t like you!

he doesn’t!

he likes flirting with you, it doesn’t mean that he likes you

of course, if he didn’t like you… he wouldn’t be grinning like an idiot every time you greet him

if he didn’t like you, he would’ve called you out on your lame ‘you want a kiss?’ joke a long, lonG time ago - instead he just lets you keep saying it because he knows you like making the same joke over and over again

if he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t be coming back to therapy every week, for crying out loud

if he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t have bought pear-scented shampoo for himself

he should be buying manly shampoos!

like… winter breeze!

or… musky oak??

or diRTy monster truck??!? (he’s not sure if that’s an actual shampoo scent for men, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it was)

you know, those kinds of scents!

not frickin pear

yoongi pauses when he realises that he actually doesn’t mind the thought of waking up next to you

he feels his heart skip a beat and he gasps in surprise before quickly slapping his hand up against his chest

oh god

it’s happening!

“…son of a bitch!” yoongi groans as he slams his head back against the headrest, “are you kidding me?!”

he’s feeling!

NO!!!!

that, or he’s having a heart attack

(he’d rather have the heart attack.)

yoongi turns his head right as you exit the building and he doesn’t know where these emotions are coming from but all of a sudden he’s being flooded with what can only be describe as…

pure, blinding rage

“what the hell did you put in those damn chocolates?!” yoongi slams the car door behind him and you practically leap ten feet into the air

“i have no money in my wallet i only have a starbucks gift card and it has like three dollars left on- oh.” you immediately relax when you realize that you’re not about to be robbed

it’s just yoongi 

your eyes widen in slight fear when you see him storm his way over to you with his fists clenched at his sides looking like he wants to skin you alive

“you are unbelievable.”

“me??” you shake your head in confusion, “yoongi, what are you-” you pause to glance down at your watch, “why are you still here? you left, like, forty minutes ago-”

“answer the question, y/n!“ yoongi crosses his arms, “you did something to those chocolates! that’s the only reason why i’m feeling like this-”

“what- i don’t- is it your stomach or something?? maybe you’re lactose intolerant-”

“nO, i don’t mean i physically feel something-“ yoongi looks around before leaning in, “i’m feeling something.”

you frown

“yoongi, the chocolates aren’t special chocolates, if that’s what you’re implying. there are kids that come to the office, i can’t go around giving out marijuana infused hershey kisses-”

“i don’t want you to go out with your nice bartender guy!” yoongi blurts out, “because i… i want you to go out with me instead.”

you pull back in surprise before tilting your head curiously

…what?

“what do you- what are- what?” you ask incredulously before narrowing your eyes at him

did he just... ask you out?

yoongi swallows nervously

his pure rage has now been replaced by pure anxiety

“i’m saying that i-” yoongi shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans, “i’m- i wanna be the one to take you out. o-on a date. or whatever they’re called.”

“you wanna take me out on a date?” you ask dumbly and yoongi rolls his eyes

“a.. i mean i guess it’s technically a da..ate...” yoongi’s mouth goes dry and you can see the panic quickly filling his pretty brown eyes 

“we don’t- we don’t have to call it a date!” you perk up, “we can just... we can call it a... flirty hangout!” 

“a flirty hangout?”

“a flangout.”

“a flangout.”

yoongi takes a second to think it over

a flangout

yeah!

he can do a flangout because a flangout is noT a date 

“i’m sorry, i just-” you wave a hand in front of yourself, “i thought your whole schtick was that you didn’t believe in dates- flangouts- and ooey-gooey holding hands related situations, so why would you wanna-”

“because i like you!” yoongi groans before looking away from you and running a hand through his hair, “i think? i don’t know, okay? i know that i’m definitely attracted to- i just- you make me- i like talking to you after my sessions are over, and i like that you keep a gumball machine on your desk even though it still doesn’t make sense to me that you’ve filled it with kisses and not with actual gumballs, and i like that even though you know i, professionally speaking, have very intense intimacy issues, i-i like that you don’t judge me for it...” he trails off before letting out a breath and turning back to face you, “you can say no, obviously, but… i just think you’re really pretty and i think you know exactly what you’re doing whenever you ask me if i want a kiss.”  

you blink owlishly at yoongi and he immediately feels like he’s about to projectile vomit everywhere

see??

this is exactly what he means when he says that feelings make literally everything ten times more complicated

he just told you that he likes you and now he just made things awkward!

which means noW he has to go find a new therapist-

wait, no

nope! he’s not going to find another therapist - he’s just going to noT go to therapy

why?

because min frickin’ yoongi doesn’t need therapy-

“i do.” yoongi looks at you with wide eyes when you suddenly speak up

you do

did… did he PROPOSE to you?!

great!!

of course he did!!

his feelings are back and they’re even worse than before-

“i do know exactly what i’m doing whenever i ask you if you wanna kiss-“ you hold up a finger to correct yourself, “if you want a kiss.”

“i’m happy with either one of those options-“

“there is one minor issue, though.” you turn your phone around to show yoongi, “what am i supposed to tell sweet tae?”

“who the hell is tae- ohhhh, bartender guy.” yoongi winces as he glances at your texts briefly, “i forgot about him.”

“nice bartender guy!!” you push your bottom lip out in a pout as you scroll through your texts with taehyung

:-(

his last message to you was ‘excited for tonight!! see you soon :-)’

:-(((((((

“do you… do you genuinely like him?” yoongi asks cautiously

“i mean, i- i don’t noT like him, you know?” you sigh and reach up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, “it’s just that… he’s so nice-”

“okay, i think we’ve got that part covered-”

“i don’t wanna break his heart!!” you whine, “what do i do?!”

“alright, here’s what you’re going to do-” yoongi clears his throat, “you go out with him tonight-”

“but i don’t want to lead him o-” 

“you go out with nice bartender tae tonight to tell him that it’s over. and you tell him that you’ve really enjoying spending time with him, but you feel like the two of you would be better off as friends. it’s simple, it’s clean, it’s straight to the point! no harm, no foul.” yoongi dusts his hands off before smiling proudly, “and then i’ll take you to the mcdonalds drive-thru for dessert.”

“i mean, i guess so…” you purse your lips in thought, “should i, like… if he kisses me or something, should i kiss him back?”

“you’re going to pity-kiss him?” yoongi gasps dramatically before tutting at you, “wow. and i’m the one in therapy.”

“wha-”

“now, c’mon-” yoongi places his hand on the small of your back as he leads you towards his car, “let me drive you to your gross date so that we can go on our cool flangout afterwards-”

“you know, they’re doing a limited edition chips ahoy mcflurry right now-“ you grin excitedly as yoongi opens the door for you, “you wanna split one with me?”

“split one?” yoongi scoffs and bends down a little so he can look you directly in the eye, the corner of his mouth curling upwards in a teasing smirk, “baby, i’ll get you your very own mcflurry-”

(it turns out that taehyung actually planned to end things tonight, too - he said if you ever made your way back to his bar he’d give you a cocktail on the house! so, it looks like you can have your cake and eat it too.) 

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

[odetojeons]

how about woozi's kinks? ~

I ask everyone to be patient with those requests because suddenly a lot of people are asking and I need to think about it before posting 😂

Public Sex/Exhibitionism — I’m not the only one who thinks this, right? Like, I just know he feels so turned on when he gets to fuck you in front of people, especially if they one of the Seventeen members. It’s the way Jihoon gets drunk with the power he has, likes to have an audience watching as he pounds obscenely into you, would even grab and pull on your hair just so they could see the tears running down your face.

Power Play — Oh, he’s one of the members with this great desire to overpower someone in bed. Jihoon wants you to be good for him, the electrifying pleasure he feels when you obey his orders is mind numbing. I think it comes with the way he’s a producer and is always bossing around when he’s in the recording room, you can clearly see how he likes that. It wouldn’t be any different in sex.

Brat Tamer — Yes, at the same time Jihoon wants you to let go and submit, he also must enjoy fighting for power. It’s as if is something primal for him, to be able to show you who’s the boss when you try to disobey and tease him and conquer your submission, would manhandle you and bite at your nape so hard you think the mark might be there for weeks. Or even pull your ass up so he could slap it, which, of course, brings me to the next kink:

Impact Play — Not just with hitting your ass, but with actual other stuff, like a whip, for example. Jihoon enjoys seeing the red marks he would cause on the back of your thighs or on your ass, wants to see you bruised, as long as you want that too. I also know his aftercare game would be legit the best, with oils and massages and (super hero) movies and you just feel loved even when he’s hitting you so good you think you might pass out from the white pleasure.

Cockwarming — Obviously. I don’t even need to explain with this one. Since Jihoon is a producer, he must spend a lot of time in his studio, and you being there to keep his cock nice and warm is a must. He would make you suck him off slowly and keep yourself still until your mouth hurts from the stretch, or make you sit on his lap and take his cock up your hole as he busies himself with the next best song the world will ever hear (lmfao Jihoon is a music genius and you can’t disagree).

Bondage — Especially cuffs. There’s just something about Lee Jihoon that screams cuffing. Even those cute, pink, fluffy ones you would think he hates, but no. He loves them. He finds it unbearably hot when he sees you restrained with one of those, or spreader bars too. Have your legs opened for him as he eats you out is such a Jihoon thing. Not in the sense of wanting you to only be able to take what he gives you, but rather in the sense of how gorgeous you look tied up as he pleasures you.

Choking — Definitely one of his biggest kinks. The way his hand would wrap around your neck and your face would get red when he squeezes it softly might even make him come untouched. The fact that you trust him enough to do this has Jihoon going insane, like he can’t possibly wrap his head around the fact that you let him do this to you. And I think this isn’t something he would come up with at first, you would have to ask him to and he would refuse and refuse and refuse, afraid to hurt you, until he gives in and falls in love with his fingers on your throat.

Verbal Humiliation/Body Worship — HEAR ME OUT, Jihoon calling you names is such a big mood. The reason why I put these two completely opposite things is because he would get mean, say some stuff to you such as got fucked so good you turned into a dumb slut, but at the same time he would say everything about you is stunning, your eyes, yours lips, your neck, your bellybutton, your beautiful thighs, to the tips of your toes. A pretty little slut AND THAT’S IT. I just— I have no words. This is literally him. You’re not allowed to disagree.

Morning Sex — Not a kink but,, I just had to add this here. Like imagine you waking up to Jihoon hugging you tight, teasing little kisses on your shoulder as he ruts his hard cock on the swell of your ass. This sounds so like him, fucking the sleepiness and horniness out of both of you, not rough, but passionate sex. This is cute. He’s cute.

Foot Job — OKAY WAIT. Before you say I’m weird, just hear me out. I can’t take this scenario out of my head in which you’re at a dinner with your friends and Jihoon is sitting across you. In the mood of some teasing, you would press the tip of your toe on his inner thigh as soon as you support your foot between his legs. What you weren’t expecting though, is how he snatches at your ankle, pulling at it in a tight grip and making you slide further in your chair, a yelp almost leaving your mouth if you didn’t swallow it back down. Jihoon would be so pissed off, you have been a brat the whole night, making everything in your power to rile him up and he’s so hard it hurts. He would press the sole of your foot to his cock, fucking up against it in tight little motions as he looks you deep within the eyes. Jihoon would growl lowly, so that no one can hear him, almost punching the table when he comes. Okay this was supposed to be an explanation but instead I gave you a scenario. Not sorry though BYE!!

[writertothemaximum]

Summary: Fem!Niki fucks the shit out of Rinne at the beach.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings/Content: nsfw/18+, Niki x Rinne, Female Niki, Face-Sitting, Cunnilingus, Anal fingering, femdom

Notes: Normally I don't post character x character stuff on this blog, but as this is femdom, this is the one exception. I hope you guys enjoy!

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33432565

Inspired by this pic [Please click!]

With a groan, Rinne drove the van down the sandy road, trying his best not to hit the small child that decided to walk in the middle of the road last second. It was going to be one of these days, wasn’t it?

First, Niki begs him to lunch, it’s the middle of summer and 400 degrees outside, and now she’s proceeded to drag him to the beach so she can ‘eat ice cream on the sand’ or whatever. And here Rinne thought he was the annoying one. She should get her license, it’s bad enough she didn’t graduate high school.

Well, at least she made sure he was well fed and…Well, well-fed.

In the other way.

She was always really forward about that. Or maybe it was him and his sluttiness spilled off onto her.

Yeah, it was probably his fault. He should stop getting stoned with strangers in the living room.

Although Rinne wasn’t like that. Like, aggressive like that.

Neither were any of the men he slept with.

It was scary, almost.

No, it was just scary. She was scary when she got horny.

She always got him so embarrassed, why did she have to take her sweet time with him? Well, it’s not like she could just fuck-and-dump, but still. He always busted it too quickly, far too fast for his liking. Maybe he should go back to just being gay.

Niki thought Rinne looked super sexy today. She supposed he always did, almost to an annoying degree. To the point where men would hit on him in the street and he’d take them home and Niki would be witness to some random dude fucking him on the couch. It was almost never girls for some reason.

Was he gay?

No, she and him fucked all the time, Niki was a girl, that wouldn’t make sense. Rinne was definitely bi, like 100% bisexual.

Ah, he was 100% a bottom, that was all.

Can’t get off without his ass—The absolute whore.

He liked getting called a whore, too, maybe he was also 100% masochist, too. That would make a lot of sense, actually, now that she thought about it some. The way he groaned when she slapped his ass, when she bit his nipple, when she chomped on his neck, nibbled on the tip of his dick—yeah she liked biting him a bit too much.

Well, it was a hot day and it was time for ice cream and sausages on the beach. A nice tan would be cool, too, she was getting a little too pale for her tastes.

He didn’t really ever hit on her, he just kinda let her fuck him. He never got that embarrassed when he was with his male partners. It was like Niki was different to him, somehow. Like he wanted to get teased. Like he was annoyed by it, but secretly, he begged for it.

He always ended up begging for it.

Parking in a non-parking spot, Rinne popped out of the van and opened the side door in the back, grabbing a yellow floatie, a big towel to lie down on, and some sunscreen for good measure.

“Rinne-kun! Did you get the picnic box?” she shouted, running to the back.

“No, because you’d fucking grab it out of my hands, anyways, dick,” he said, sniping back.

Niki held her hand up to punch him in the gut, when she realized.

“Yeah, I would do that,” she said, chuckling out a snort.

Niki climbed around the back of the van, not really caring that her ass was in view for everyone who walked by. Rinne, feeling slightly embarrassed for her, walked in front of the door to block the view.

“What?” she asked.

“I well your, uh,” he said, stumbling. “Your fat ass was falling out of the fucking car!”

She poked a finger out, booping him right in the nose.

“Lmao someone’s embarrassed,” she said, chuckling.

“Oh god, stop using texting lingo in public again,” Rinne said, walking off to the shore, giving up.

“Wait, wait, I know a good spot!” she said, shouting at him.

Niki’s ‘good spot’ was actually a very nice, secluded section of the beach. It took them about ten minutes to find, and they had to climb over a dozen or so rocks, but it ended up giving them some nice shade, and Rinne was never opposed to a good workout.

Rinne spread his arms out to the nice summer wind and took in the world around him, finally allowing the toxic fumes of arrogance and annoyance to leave his body, and breathe in the fresh air of confidence and being a massive dick again.

Niki poked him in the ass.

“Bitch!?” he shouted.

“Are you going to set up the towel or what?” she asked. “I have lunch to eat.”

That’s right, she had carried four lunchboxes over the rocks.

Four. Plus a full tub of Ben and Jerry’s.

“Do I get any this time?” Rinne asked, leaning in. He was a bit hungry, now that he mentioned it.

Niki put a finger to her mouth, the fabric handles of the bags falling down to her elbows.

“Hm,” she said, earnestly considering it. “Maybe if you suck me off.”

“Jesus fuck Niki. You’re horny too?” he said.

She pointed at him, accusatory.

“And you’re not? Who the fuck isn’t horny!?” she shouted.

Rinne sighed and rolled the towel out. He sat down, crossing his legs. He should have invited HiMERU or Eichi or Ibara, or really anyone he could irritate into fucking him. This was wrong, Rinne was supposed to be the tyrannical crazy one, why was Niki walking all over him? It was unacceptable, absolutely unacceptable.

The crashing waves really were relaxing. It was a good thing he had come in his bathing suit.

“Fine,” he said, crawling down on his hands and knees. Niki didn’t seem to hear him, taking a big scoop of sweet chocolate ice cream and dumping the thing directly into her mouth.

His nose pushed into the bottoms of her swimsuit, far too skimpy for any good-natured girl to wear. Tufts of her hair pushed against him, and Rinne wondered why she didn’t shave down there. Whatever, it was just a little hairy and it was about to get a lot wetter.

Niki recoiled in the softness of the towel when she felt shivers ride down her thighs. Rinne flicked his tongue across her clit, stirring up a small sound of approval. He had always been so good at this. Niki wondered if he was just as good at sucking cock. The whole thing felt so relaxing under the heat of the summer sun, she was melting, just absolutely melting.

“Fuck, Niki!” Rinne shouted, jumping up and wiping the glob of ice cream off his back. “Why’d you spill the shit on me?”

“Dunno,” she said, the spoon sticking out of her mouth. She grabbed his head by the puff of his hair and shoved him back into her crotch. “I didn’t tell you to stop. Don’t you want some ice cream?”

“Hanernangh,” was Rinne’s response, his nose suffocating in vaginal secretions.

Leaning back, she squashed Rinne’s head in her thighs, small tufts of red poking out from the little sandwich. Ooh, a sandwich, she should have taken one out of the picnic box, that would have tasted really good right about now.

The wet rubbing felt so good, so good to just squash him right there, struggle around for air, struggle around, knowing that he’d get something out of this, knowing that he’d get rewarded for all his hard work. It god Niki madly turned on knowing that Rinne was getting off to this. Knowing that he liked to get scrunched, to get manhandled.

Niki sat up.

“Hey, Rinne-kun, flip over,” she said.

“Hah? Do I get some now?” he said, snarling. “I wanna get some before you spill it all over me.”

“Turn the fuck over, idiot,” Niki snapped back.

“Fine,” Rinne sputtered out, flipping over to his back.

Niki immediately decided to sit down.

“Hanaefng!?” Rinne shouted, obviously surprised.

“Keep going and you’ll get some ice cream, sheesh,” she said.

Niki began to pat down Rinne’s body, feeling a bit of sand, and a really nice tan beginning to form. And wow, really nice abs, really nice, firm, strong abs. But that wasn’t what she was looking for.

“Aha!” she said, pulling the bottle out of his pocket and slightly raising her ass off his face. “So you did bring lube you fucking whore.”

Rinne took a huge gasp of air, finally able to breathe.

“Jesus fuck, and just what are you going to do with that? It’s not like I can suck you off and fuck you at the same time,” he said, crassly.

Niki, annoyed, sat back down.

“Who said you were going to be the one doing the fucking?” she said, irritated.

Rinne struggled a bit before shuffling his ass out for better access. She had fingered him before, maybe she should invest in a strap-on. Then he wouldn’t have any need to do all of those one-night stands. She could just fuck him on her cock.

“Ooh, someone’s hungry for fingers,” she said, mocking. “Wanna come here for a smoochy-smoochy? I think you deserve it, Rinne-kun!”

Rinne, not being able to speak due to still having pussy in his face, responded with a large groan.

“Or do you prefer these lips?” she asked, rubbing all of her secretions in his face. She wondered how it tasted. Salty, for sure.

Niki leaned forward, taking one last scoop of partially melted ice cream before setting it to the side on the towel. Wow, the heat felt great. The sun, the way the waves lined up, it all just filled her with elation.

So when she leaned her face down to his groin, it made her all the happier to see that Rinne was hard. He liked getting humiliated like this, didn’t he? Wow, what a masochist. When Niki tugged at the hem of his swim trunks, Rinne lifted his hips, allowing her to get them off quicker. Someone was excited. Well, a large glob of lube, a finger made its way to the entrance of his hole. She felt Rinne hesitate on her clit as she pushed in, a loud groan echoing through the rock cliffs.

He was so soft inside. He always was. It was like his ass was made for pleasure, made for this lovely squeeze, caressing her fingers in an absolutely perfect massage. He was always so loose, too, she supposed that’s what being a cock-whore did to someone.

Hm, well, speaking of cock, his dick was right there. He was pretty hard. Would be a shame if someone were to maybe…suck it?

In a moment, her lips were around the tip.

“Haarhrhah! Nik—Niki!” she heard, Rinne tilting his head off her ass.

Retaliating, she sat back down, crushing his head hard into the towel.

God, it was too much at once. With the two fingers pounding his ass, the suffocating aroma on his face, and now the condensing suction on his tip. He was going to cum, he was going to cum—

Niki gripped the bottom of his shaft hard, not letting a drop out.

“You’re supposed to get me off, first, asshole,” she said, her glare enough to kill a man.

Fuck, fuck, thoughts poured through Rinne’s mind as he licked her clit as fast as he could, desperately trying to get her off, trying to get himself off, he was too hard, too overwhelmed.

Rinne felt Niki convulse above him, her hole tightening up, clenching around pure nothing as she came on his face. Noises spewed out of her mouth as she couldn’t control herself, everything coming all at once.

And that’s when Niki finally let go of his dick.

Like the grossest milkshake in the world, Niki kept sucking.

Popping her head off in a moment, she gave off a sigh of relief, as if she had a nice big sip of coffee, drinking all the semen up like a fat noodle.

Niki unplugged her fingers from his ass and Rinne shoved her off, letting her laugh as she rolled off the towel and into the sand.

“That was fun,” she said, still unable to hold her laugh.

“Bitch! You got sand up my ass!” Rinne shouted, making a motion in the air to slap her, obviously missing.

“Your fault for being such an anal fiend,” she said, the heat of the sand proving to be very relaxing. Ooh, she was right next to the lunch box. Time for a sandwich.

“Can I get my ice cream now?” Rinne asked, like a petulant child.

“Yeah, go ahead,” she said, diving right into the lunch box.

Rinne picked up the abandoned tub of Ben & Jerry’s only to realize.

“It’s fucking melted!” Rinne shouted.

“Well, suck faster next time,” Niki said, taking a big bite of her sandwich.

“Well, maybe if someone ate better, her fucking cunt wouldn’t taste like that fucking sourdough starter you keep around the apartment,” Rinne said, snapping.

“Hey, you love my pussy, don’t joke with me,” she said, right back.

Rinne grimaced, embarrassed, knowing she was right.

Pouting, Rinne forced the spoon into the chocolate wonder, scooping it up and landing it right in his mouth. It wasn’t all melted.

Yup, ice cream was good. Ice cream was always good.

[thevindicativevordan]

On Maxima

Every time DC wants to put Supes in a relationship with someone other than Lois, I always wonder why they don't just go with Maxima.

Especially since she's basically what they turn Diana into every time they try to hook the two of them up. Why not just go with the actual Superman Rogue/supporting character who is also a warrior-queen? Who is already almost as violent as she is horny, forcing Clark to try to get her to chill out, even as he's tempted to join her? If it isn't already clear, I like Maxima. Her character archetype, the supervillainess who tempts the hero with sex appeal, is one that's pretty damn popular for obvious reasons. Also for obvious reasons, this kind of character can provoke a backlash nowadays.

Personally I think she can still work just fine, she just needs some revamp. The basics of her character and backstory are still solid and offer storytelling potential. She's the Queen of the alien Empire of Almerac. Maxima is drawn to Superman because of his power. The real big fix is changing why she's attracted to his power, and why she came to Earth in the first place, shifting it away from eugenics to something else.

What I'd Do With Maxima

So I'm going to take some cues from the DCAU incarnation of Maxima in that the reason she seeks Superman out is because she's been deposed.

DCAU Maxima got deposed after she met Superman, but she lost her throne because her people judged her too self-absorbed and immature to lead them. Which she totally was, and changing that formed the crux of her character development over the course of the episode. I'd take a similar route with reworking comics Maxima's backstory.

Maxima has just taken the throne when the Interstellar Empire of Almerac comes under the assault of Mongul of Warworld. Crushing Almerac's defenses, Mongul gives the world an ultimatum: Turn over a selection of their greatest fighters to fight for Almerac's continued right to exist in Mongul's gladiator arenas or he'll reduce the entire planet to ashes. He also demands a sizeable portion of the population be turned over as slaves tasked with keeping Warworld running, and he wants Maxima to be among those slaves as a symbol of Mongul's authority over Almerac. Maxima angrily refuses, but her people don't trust in her leadership on account of her youth and immaturity, and Maxima is overthrown. She's handed over for transport to Warworld, but while en route she breaks free and seizes control of the transport. Alone and without allies, Maxima sets a course for Earth to seek out the one person she's heard is a match for the Lord of Warworld: Superman.

Only interested at first in his power, and planning to use and dispose of him afterwards, Maxima at first presents herself to Clark as a potential mate. Her hope is that will entice him to support her on what could be a suicide mission, and that offering power and wealth via marriage will cement his loyalty. Being betrayed by her subjects still stings her though she takes great pains to pretend otherwise. Superman turns down the marriage offer, but agrees to follow her to take down Mongul and free Almerac. The two travel back to Almerac which is in the midst of choosing who will fight on Warworld. Clark pretends to be a native of Almerac and is chosen as one of the champions. Initially planning to stay on Almerac and purge those who betrayed her while Clark fights on Warworld, Maxima chooses to give herself up to Mongul, after he announces that he will be vaporizing an entire continent as punishment for the Almeracans failure to turn her over to him. Amused at her compassion for those who betrayed her, Mongul adds Maxima to the roster of gladiators, and she departs with Clark to the arenas.

Over the course of a series of battles, Maxima and Clark butt heads, watch each other's backs, and gradually fall in love with each other. Maxima admires Clark's resolve, restraint, and maturity, traits she's forced to admit she lacked. She's skeptical of his idealism however, seeing it as a flaw that undermines his effectiveness, particularly when it comes to killing. Clark admires Maxima's passion, bravery, and refusal to settle for anything less than the best in anyone including herself. All traits that make him ponder if perhaps she does have it in her to be a good leader. He dislikes her arrogance and entitlement however, particularly when it comes to her royal right to rule. A frequent source of fights between the two is whether the common person should have any voice in government with Maxima scoffing at that and point at how the mob gave in to Mongul, with Clark countering that Almeracans had long felt unheard and cut off from their rulers. Obviously that they're both super hot doesn't hurt as part of why they end up sleeping together.

Ultimately through a series of events Superman and Maxima succeed in freeing Almerac and driving Mongul away. Then everything promptly goes to hell. Having fallen for Clark for real over the course of their adventure, Maxima repeats her offer to him of marriage, except genuinely this time.

The two have had sex a couple times already, and Clark is genuinely tempted at the prospect of sticking with Maxima. He's grown to enjoy her company (having sex tends to do that), he enjoys the freedom to be himself without having to hide his powers, the Almeracans embrace him as their champion, and as Maxima's consort he could take an active hand in shaping society. At the point in Clark's career where I'd want to do this story, he's growing out of his youthful rage, but he's still not at peace with his lot in life. Earth's inability to meaningfully change at the pace he wants frustrates him, and leaving behind the restrictions of life there does entice him. My point is that I think the appeal of Maxima to Superman should and can be more than just breeding little Clarks as has been the case in the past.

However Clark ultimately rejects the offer. He can't bring himself to cut ties with Earth, Maxima's unwillingness to cede some of her power to her people isn't something Clark can accept, and Clark is also concerned that taking up her offer would compromise his ability to be a hero. As you would expect, Maxima is pissed at his refusal, treating it as another stab in the back. Due to his help in freeing her people and reclaiming her throne, she spares his life but exiles him from Almerac, declaring him persona non grata throughout the Empire.

Unbeknownst to Clark, who leaves after it's made clear the Almeracans don't want a civil war, Maxima is pregnant with his child. The child allows her to avoid entering into a political marriage, maintaining her independence since she now has a heir. This daughter will be groomed in hidden to take over the Empire, which Maxima now has plans to expand. The humiliation Mongul visited upon Almerac has had a big impact on her mindset. Now she's focused on eliminating any potential threats to her people, and she wants to transform Almerac into the greatest Interstellar Empire in the Milky Way. Then it will never be at the mercy of a foreign power ever again.

For stories, Superman and Maxima are clearly going to clash given she's become an imperialist herself, no better than Mongul. You can tell stories about Clark foiling Maxima's attempts to conquer other worlds, or Earth itself. Maxima would occasionally dispatch assassins or go personally to attack Clark, for the purpose of preventing him from getting "soft". The public reason for this is that he's become a roadblock to her aims, and needs to be eliminated. Secretly, her goal is to constantly push him to be stronger because she wants him to meet his daughter one day. Not for any sentimental reasons mind you, Maxima wants Superman to teach their daughter to be his equal in ability and resourcefulness. After learning everything she can from Clark, said daughter will be charged with leading the invasion of Earth. Conquering Earth, and defeating Superman, will be the girl's rite of passage into cementing herself as Maxima's heir. The world of her father, Superman, is destined to be her own Throneworld as Almerac's is Maxima's.

Think you could have a lot of fun in giving Clark a "Damian" of his own to deal with. Personally I'd have it so that the "daughter" would be akin to the New 52 Maxima who I thought had some potential. You could have Maxima and Maxima Jr. argue about the morality of Almerac's expansion, with MJ ultimately taking her father's side which causes enormous problems for her mother since she can't disown her daughter without a replacement heir. I think that could be a fun family dynamic to explore.

Wondering where Maxima will show up next. Part of me was hoping Almerac was that part of underdeveloped Superman lore PKJ talked about fleshing out, but that seems to be either Warworld or the Phantom Zone. I still think Maxima and Almerac have a lot of potential to be major players in Superman's world, but it's going to take someone being interested in fleshing them out. Maybe the upcoming Superman cartoon will accomplish that? If not I'll just have to hope someone will down the line.

[chilly-me-softly]

Your best friend introduces you to their new partner. when you lock eyes, about to greet each other, you and your best friend's partner freeze up, horrified. You had a summer fling and suddenly, everything you felt back then comes rushing back to the surface. you thought you'd never see each other again, but now, you can't get each other out of your heads. Can you do this one with Dcl? I hope it’s not too detailed for you to work with x

You were supposed to be at your best friend's house half an hour ago but another errand turned out to be longer than expected so here you are standing at her door with the sorriest look on your face ever and hoping she didn't mind. Although she should be with her new boyfriend, whom she's due to introduce to you that very evening, so she might not have noticed.

Who are you kidding, she did notice but she's so excited that night that she's not giving you a hard time about it. You are curious to meet this guy who has driven her crazy, she has spoken very highly of him in the previous days and your curiosity has only increased because, unlike the other times, she has not allowed you to spy on him on his socials. She didn't give you a first or last name and you really have no idea what he might be like. But if she had, all that could have been avoided.

As soon as your eyes meet, a shiver runs down your spine. Time seems to stop and you can't quite register whether you've said or done anything. When you come to your senses, your friend has dragged you into the kitchen where it's just the two of you.

"I know why you're like this"

"Huh?" you open your eyes wide surprised and even more confused, ready to panic.

"It's not every day you get to meet a famous person isn't it!" you almost breathe a sigh of relief hiding it with a very fake giggle, agreeing with her even though you don't know what she's referring to. "And sorry I didn't tell you but I really wanted you to know him as the simple person he is" she continues but you're so relieved that she doesn't know your secret that you can't hear anything anymore.

That summer you've been visiting some relatives and taking a bit of a break from your daily problems, and that's when you had a little fling. One of those stories that doesn't really matter, because you know that once you get back to your everyday life, you'll go your separate ways and all you'll keep is the memory of a dreamy summer.

And your friend had followed the whole thing from afar, asking for constant updates, intrigued by this guy who seemed to have bewitched you. Of course, you had told her everything, including how you dreamed of staying there forever without worrying or doing anything and enjoying the view and that kind of relationship. Only she didn't know that the boy in question was her boyfriend, the one in the living room now. You didn't know that months later you were thinking about him from time to time and more importantly you didn't know how you should act.

You thought you would never see him again and that belief had helped you to put it behind you and get on with your life, but seeing him again so suddenly had triggered too much inside you in such a short time. You feel stupid because he obviously told you a bunch of lies, but at the same time you also decided to omit details of your life; what you felt that summer comes flooding back, every laugh, every moment together that seemed so special; and you feel like a bad friend because you're thinking of lying to her so she won't suffer, because you see her hopeful smile for that story and for having found a nice person; you feel like a bad friend because you're jealous of her cause she can have him all to herself. You feel like a bad friend because you see that you still have feelings for that guy, now her boyfriend.

And after thinking about it again and again you decide it's best to come out to her. You have never liked the same guy since you met and you have no idea how it will end but you don't want to lose her as a friend and you can't keep it to yourself much longer. If the situation was the other way around you would want to know, no matter how much it would hurt; it would be even more painful to find out by accident or after years and feel used or worse still humiliated and made fun of.

You ring her door hoping she's not home but the door opens and you are forced to face reality now. She greets you beaming as always, looking worried slightly at your expression thinking it's due to work but you explain that you need to talk to her and you sit down in the living room as always.

"It's not easy and I don't know where to start but please listen to me all the way through okay?" she nods and something you can't decipher crosses her gaze. However you take a deep breath and begin to talk.

"Remember I told you this summer I had that affair with that guy?"

"Yeah, the cute and super sweet one"

"Yeah" you sigh, "I-I told him I wasn't local and he hadn't given me too much information about him either. It didn't matter, because after the summer was over we'd all go our separate ways and never see each other again. And I swear I didn't know. I thought I'd never see him again and I kind of forced myself to think it was just a summer fling" you have your gaze on your hands that are nervously torturing each other, missing her wiping away a tear that rolls down her cheek.

"I never thought about what might happen between us if we shared even the most intimate details of our lives, if we exchanged numbers... and every now and then I thought about it but only you know out of curiosity. I always thought I was just nostalgic for the good holiday. Until-"

"Until you met him here" your friend's trembling voice makes you turn your head in surprise towards her.

"How...?"

"He beat you to it" she states bitterly and it takes you a moment to realise her words. "He said he's fine with me but ever since he saw you again he can't get you out of his head"

"(Y/F/N) I swear to you that-that I didn't think... there was nothing between us after the summer" you mutter helplessly as she shakes her head. "I know"

"I wouldn't do that to you, but I thought you should know" she nods lowering her gaze. And you don't know what else to say, you know the next thing will be bursting into tears as the lump is getting bigger and bigger and these start to fall at her words.

"It hurts, I can't hide it. But if you want to..." you shake your head interrupting her realizing what she's getting at.

"No. I wouldn't do that to you"

"The way he talked about you got to me you know. I mean I thought I liked him but I realised I'm not there yet. And I can't hold him to me, I'd be selfish" her voice cracks in several words and you squeeze your eyes tighter and tighter, trying to keep yourself from sobbing as you continue to shake your head.

"No" is the only thing that comes out of your lips at the moment.

And then comes the biggest blow when after a while of crying next to each other without acknowledging each other's presence, she asks you to go and leave her alone. You are tempted to impose yourself and say no to that too but you know she needs it and with a heavy heart you walk out that door, leaving but telling her to call you when she feels ready.

Part 2