#thinking about the time some dude took a picture of me in public and i didn’t notice and my ex didn’t do ANYTHING

[midwest-femme]

oblivious femme x butch that will hit someone for looking at them the wrong way <3

[gender-trash]

I would be very interested in hearing the museum design rant

by popular demand: Guy That Took One (1) Museum Studies Class Focused On Science Museums Rants About Art Museums. thank u for coming please have a seat

so. background. the concept of the "science museum" grew out of 1) the wunderkammer (cabinet of curiosities), also known as "hey check out all this weird cool shit i have", and 2) academic collections of natural history specimens (usually taxidermied) -- pre-photography these were super important for biological research (see also). early science museums usually grew out of university collections or bequests of some guy's Weird Shit Collection or both, and were focused on utility to researchers rather than educational value to the layperson (picture a room just, full of taxidermy birds with little labels on them and not a lot of curation outside that). eventually i guess they figured they could make more on admission by aiming for a mass audience? or maybe it was the cultural influence of all the world's fairs and shit (many of which also caused science museums to exist), which were aimed at a mass audience. or maybe it was because the research function became much more divorced from the museum function over time. i dunno. ANYWAY, science and technology museums nowadays have basically zero research function; the exhibits are designed more or less solely for educating the layperson (and very frequently the layperson is assumed to be a child, which does honestly irritate me, as an adult who likes to go to science museums). the collections are still there in case someone does need some DNA from one of the preserved bird skins, but items from the collections that are exhibited typically exist in service of the exhibit's conceptual message, rather than the other way around.

meanwhile at art museums they kind of haven't moved on from the "here is my pile of weird shit" paradigm, except it's "here is my pile of Fine Art". as far as i can tell, the thing that curators (and donors!) care about above all is The Collection. what artists are represented in The Collection? rich fucks derive personal prestige from donating their shit to The Collection. in big art museums usually something like 3-5% of the collection is ever on exhibit -- and sometimes they rotate stuff from the vault in and out, but let's be real, only a fraction of an art museum's square footage is temporary exhibits. they're not going to take the scream off display when it's like the only reason anyone who's not a giant nerd ever visits the norwegian national museum of art. most of the stuff in the vault just sits in the vault forever. like -- art museum curators, my dudes, do you think the general public gives a SINGLE FUCK what's in The Collection that isn't on display? no!! but i guarantee you it will never occur, ever, to an art museum curator that they could print-to-scale high-res images of artworks that are NOT in The Collection in order to contextualize the art in an exhibit, because items that are not in The Collection functionally do not exist to them. (and of course there's the deaccessioning discourse -- tumblr collectively has some level of awareness that repatriation is A Whole Kettle of Worms but even just garden-variety selling off parts of The Collection is a huge hairy fucking deal. check out deaccessioning and its discontents; it's a banger read if you're into This Kind Of Thing.)

with the contents of The Collection foregrounded like this, what you wind up with is art museum exhibits where the exhibit's message is kind of downstream of what shit you've got in the collection. often the message is just "here is some art from [century] [location]", or, if someone felt like doing a little exhibit design one fine morning, "here is some art from [century] [location] which is interesting for [reason]". the displays are SOOOOO bad by science museum standards -- if you're lucky you get a little explanatory placard in tiny font relating the art to an art movement or to its historical context or to the artist's career. if you're unlucky you get artist name, date, and medium. fucker most of the people who visit your museum know Jack Shit about art history why are you doing them dirty like this

(if you don't get it you're just not Cultured enough. fuck you, we're the art museum!)

i think i've talked about this before on this blog but the best-exhibited art exhibit i've ever been to was actually at the boston museum of science, in this traveling leonardo da vinci exhibit where they'd done a bunch of historical reconstructions of inventions out of his notebooks, and that was the main Thing, but also they had a whole little exhibit devoted to the mona lisa. obviously they didn't even have the real fucking mona lisa, but they went into a lot of detail on like -- here's some X-ray and UV photos of it, and here's how art experts interpret them. here's a (photo of a) contemporary study of the finished painting, which we've cleaned the yellowed varnish off of, so you can see what the colors looked like before the varnish yellowed. here's why we can't clean the varnish off the actual painting (da vinci used multiple varnish layers and thinned paints to translucency with varnish to create the illusion of depth, which means we now can't remove the yellowed varnish without stripping paint).

even if you don't go into that level of depth about every painting (and how could you? there absolutely wouldn't be space), you could at least talk a little about, like, pigment availability -- pigment availability is an INCREDIBLY useful lens for looking at historical paintings and, unbelievably, never once have i seen an art museum exhibit discuss it (and i've been to a lot of art museums). you know how medieval european religious paintings often have funky skin tones? THEY HADN'T INVENTED CADMIUM PIGMENTS YET. for red pigments you had like... red ochre (a muted earth-based pigment, like all ochres and umbers), vermilion (ESPENSIVE), alizarin crimson (aka madder -- this is one of my favorite reds, but it's cool-toned and NOT good for mixing most skintones), carmine/cochineal (ALSO ESPENSIVE, and purple-ish so you wouldn't want to use it for skintones anyway), red lead/minium (cheaper than vermilion), indian red/various other iron oxide reds, and apparently fucking realgar? sure. whatever. what the hell was i talking about.

oh yeah -- anyway, i'd kill for an art exhibit that's just, like, one or two oil paintings from each century for six centuries, with sample palettes of the pigments they used. but no! if an art museum curator has to put in any level of effort beyond writing up a little placard and maybe a room-level text block, they'll literally keel over and die. dude, every piece of art was made in a material context for a social purpose! it's completely deranged to divorce it from its material context and only mention the social purpose insofar as it matters to art history the field. for god's sake half the time the placard doesn't even tell you if the thing was a commission or not. there's a lot to be said about edo period woodblock prints and mass culture driven by the growing merchant class! the met has a fuckton of edo period prints; they could get a hell of an exhibit out of that!

or, tying back to an earlier thread -- the detroit institute of arts has got a solid like eight picasso paintings. when i went, they were kind of just... hanging out in a room. fuck it, let's make this an exhibit! picasso's an artist who pretty famously had Periods, right? why don't you group the paintings by period, and if you've only got one or two (or even zero!) from a particular period, pad it out with some decent life-size prints so i can compare them and get a better sense for the overarching similarities? and then arrange them all in a timeline, with little summaries of what each Period was ~about~? that'd teach me a hell of a lot more about picasso -- but you'd have to admit you don't have Every Cool Painting Ever in The Collection, which is illegalé.

also thinking about the mit museum temporary exhibit i saw briefly (sorry, i was only there for like 10 minutes because i arrived early for a meeting and didn't get a chance to go through it super thoroughly) of a bunch of ship technical drawings from the Hart nautical collection. if you handed this shit to an art museum curator they'd just stick it on the wall and tell you to stand around and look at it until you Understood. so anyway the mit museum had this enormous room-sized diorama of various hull shapes and how they sat in the water and their benefits and drawbacks, placed below the relevant technical drawings.

tbh i think the main problem is that art museum people and science museum people are completely different sets of people, trained in completely different curatorial traditions. it would not occur to an art museum curator to do anything like this because they're probably from the ~art world~ -- maybe they have experience working at an art gallery, or working as an art buyer for a rich collector, neither of which is in any way pedagogical. nobody thinks an exhibit of historical clothing should work like a clothing store but it's fine when it's art, i guess?

also the experience of going to an art museum is pretty user-hostile, i have to say. there's never enough benches, and if you want a backrest, fuck you. fuck you if going up stairs is painful; use our shitty elevator in the corner that we begrudgingly have for wheelchair accessibility, if you can find it. fuck you if you can't see very well, and need to be closer to the art. fuck you if you need to hydrate or eat food regularly; go to our stupid little overpriced cafeteria, and fuck you if we don't actually sell any food you can eat. (obviously you don't want someone accidentally spilling a smoothie on the art, but there's no reason you couldn't provide little Safe For Eating Rooms where people could just duck in and monch a protein bar, except that then you couldn't sell them a $30 salad at the cafe.) fuck you if you're overwhelmed by noise in echoing rooms with hard surfaces and a lot of people in them. fuck you if you are TOO SHORT and so our overhead illumination generates BRIGHT REFLECTIONS ON THE SHINY VARNISH. we're the art museum! we don't give a shit!!!

[beatrixstonehill2]

"I can't believe this is happening to me! It's so disgusting I can't stand it. And to make matters worse my big sweaty cock gets harder and more needy with every pound I pile on. When I started transitioning I was so hot. Perfect, really. My cock was only one inch. I was thinking of having the tiny thing removed, maybe. But my many boyfriends seemed to like rubbing it and slapping it as they came in my tight, perky ass. Everything was going so well! I was the girl I always dreamed of being, ultra girly, putting most cis girls to shame with how traditionally feminine I was, absolutely filthy, always down 100% of the time to please any guy that wanted me. Anywhere in public, I was never a prude. If a man lifted my skirt or dress to fuck my ass in public, I'd lift it higher for them and tell them to go as hard as they want. If a guy exposed himself at me and jerked off, I'd rush over to suck him off or offer my ass. I was the perfect girl! And then this happened.....

So, guys love to dote on girls they date. And I, boy crazy as I was, loved going on dates with as many boys as possible. Multiple times a day. I didn't really think my love of taking boys on dates out very much. More proof I'm a perfect girl--I'm pretty ditzy and stupid..... I was taking each boy out and they'd have one meal and that's it. I'd go from eating pizza, to bottomless pasta bowls, to a Chinese buffet, to all-you-can-eat wings. I couldn't very well disappoint my dates and not put on a show. Men love a dirty, pretty girl who can keep up with their eating, and drinking! I of course drank whole pitchers of beer with most meals. I started noticing I was getting kind of messy. I wouldn't wipe my face or hands off as eagerly, staying as pretty as possible mattered less than putting on a show and stuffing my face for these guys, knowing it made their cocks soooo hard to see me overeat!

I began belching, sometimes even drinking so much beer I'd soil myself, and just giggle about it. Overeating made me so horny. But I didn't realize how badly I was neglecting my feminine side..... I started forgetting my estrogen, I ate so much red meat and other foods it triggered my body to release testosterone. My cock started getting big, so did my testicles. Soon, I, this once petite pretty girl, was pushing 200lbs, hung bigger than most men that fucked me. My erections became impossible to hide. Worse yet, I'd ejaculate prematurely as the worst times. Like some horny junior high kid, I'd talk to a cute guy, and instead of being in control, sexy, dominant and confident in my body, I'd be chubby, sweaty, stuttering, and ejaculate mid conversation with no warning, having to apologize.....

Men still loved it, and found the grosser, fatter version of me equally as hot, but now a new issue arose..... The men that took me out on dates and fucked me weren't just gym dudes who liked to see a woman keep up once in a while, these guys wanted me fatter. I wasn't eating five meals a night like before. I was eating four or five meals at one restaurant, then I'd get picked up by the next guy and have to force down another four or five. I've gone from 210lbs to 340lbs in just six months. I'm ballooning so fast none of my old cute clothes fit. Nothing does. I wear clothes a few sizes bigger now because I know I'm just going to get fatter. It makes me so hard thinking of how fat and disgusting I'm becoming. I don't need my hands to cum at all, I just need to stuff my face and picture myself double this size and my fouteen-inch monster cock shoots rope after rope of cum, which I don't bother cleaning. I reek of semen and sweat all the time and my boyfriends love how bad I stink.....

I used to dance and be super active, fuck with loads of energy. Now I just gorge myself, making gross moans, belching and farting constantly, bathing only a couple times a month.... I don't really do my hair or makeup or try to look cute. I'm just a fat slob. I eat as men fuck me. I hardly move. If I try to ride them they stop me and tell me not to burn any excess calories. I just get chauffeured from date to date, eat so much I occasionally puke all over my big fat gut, only to order more and keep eating. I get fucked as I keep eating. I'm not a cute, sexy girl anymore. I never will be again. I'm a disgusting whale. A blimp, getting bigger every day, piling on as much lard as possible to please all of my feeders. Someday I'll be immobile, and they'll probably take turns caring for me as I stuff my face, hooked up to oxygen, my heart pounding through my chest. My cock over twenty inches long but so buried in lard it probably just looks like feminine little nub again. I'll have no choice but to get as fat as I possibly can, to satisfy their cocks, and my own..... I know it's my destiny. I already get completely winded just walking up one flight of stairs. My heart pounds like I ran a marathon, my belly and saggy tits drenched in sweat. I'm so disgusting. But I have no choice..... Like I said, I'm the perfect girl, I'm only interested in being exactly what other boys want me to be. And if boys want me to be a giant pile of moaning lard? A good girl like me has no choice....."

[lamnwar]

Hello! Very specific request. I have a job at a Themepark, basically I work as a Disney princess there (aurora). Its for children to sort of meet their Disney role models, favorite prince/princess. I read them stories, take pictures with them, etc. Could you sort of do a headcanon-esque scenario of how the gom will react to a partner with such a job? Maybe how some of them will be mildly jealous of the assigned prince? This was so embarrasing to type out omg if your uncomfortable with any part of the request/dont wanna do this lmk! No pressure, whatsoever. Love you, stay safe!

Hiiii thanks for the request! 💕 It was such a fun one to write and omggg you gotta be extra pretty to be working as a irl disney princess 😭

SHE'S A PRINCESS // KNB Headcanons

Context: in which you work as a theme park princess and your boyfriend feels some type of way about it

Pairing: GOM x gn! Reader (gender not specified

Warning: fluff, nothing too serious, slightly suggestive but safe for all audiences!

AKASHI

I don't think Akashi really went to theme parks as a kid so he's probably a bit surprised to know that playing a princess there is an actual job

Literally stunned the first time he sees you in costume like, his girl is just so pretty!!!

Would come on regular visit just to see you because my man is obsessed with how gorgeous you are and how well you play the role

The way you show so much grace and you are so nice to all the people that come to you

Would be the kind to take pictures of the public with you because he absolutely gets it, you are a princess

Talking of which, "princess" progressively becomes a new nickname he uses for you

He doesn't mind that you work with another guy as your assigned prince, but if dude tries to make a pass at you, he's as good as dead 💀

Smiles softly as he looks at children coming to you thinking you're the real character

And the way you're just so sweet with these kids aaaahh! my man just falls in love even more from seeing that

MIDORIMA

To Midorima, a job's a job, so he doesn't think much of it

He took some time before visiting you at the park and actually seeing you in costume

This DEFINITELY awakens something in him, trust me

Would obviously not admit to it but he really falls even more when he sees you in your princess get-up

He would occasionally visit you, but to make sure you're doing ok and is not too exhausted

He's such a meticulous guy that he'll sometimes help you out with your costume

Got a crease on your dress? he's on it already! Need someone to curl your hair at the back? he's your man

Not even surprised by the little kids who are convinced that you are a true princess, because you absolutely look the part

But sometimes these kids would get a bit sneaky and ask you if you really love the prince

It's hard to answer that question when you know that your boyfriend is nearby and he can hear you well

But you'll just look at Shintaro while you say "yes, I do love my prince" because thinking of him is the only way you can express genuine love

KISE

That guy could easily steal your job, let's be real

I mean he's just that pretty!! no offense to you but it's just the truth

When he comes and sees you at the park, you better believe people mistake him for a prince

And when they see the both of you together? Yeah, you might as well be a real royal couple

He's your best hype man too, goes around telling everyone that you have to be the best princess of the whole theme park

Doesn't mind the guy who works with you as your assigned prince, since he knows very well that he has nothing on Kise

I mean... he really can't compete

But he might a bit pouty when you play your role a bit too well, acting lovey-dovey with your prince for the public

He gets reassured when you come to him later and give him a kiss on the cheek

Not sure if it's allowed for you to break character like that, but it really doesn't matter if it's for Kise 🤭

AOMINE

Aomine kinda makes fun of your at first when you tell him that your job is to be a (fake) princess

But he's quick to shut his mouth the first time he sees you

Like... damn, that just unlocked a new kink

You're so damn beautiful he goes mad

Obsessed with princess! you

Has beef with a 6 yo once because that kid was looking at you for a bit too long for his taste

It's kinda funny because he's being ridiculous, but still

At first, very much against you having to work with another dude, especially when you have to play pretend a couple

But it doesn't last long because you told him once you're only his and it's enough to switch his mind

Now he brags to these kids that you're actually his

"See that gorgeous princess? Yeah she's in love with me"

"But what about the prince?"

"She loves me more than the prince"

A big PR disaster for the park, btw, but he couldn't care less

The most beautiful princess in the park is his, and he'll never lie about it

MURASAKIBARA

Very intrigued by that job of yours

What do you mean, you get paid to be a princess?

Honestly looking at him, you're confident he can book a job as a pretend royal

His physique is very prince-like, can't say that much about his personality

Anyways!

Comes to the park often so he gets to see you + eat nice snacks!!

Buys you food too when he's here, so you do not starve

Nods in agreement every time a kid points at you all impressed

"Yeah, she's indeed the prettiest"

Plays the game and tells people that you *are* a real princess

Weirdly enough, he gets hungry seeing you in costume

I mean that puffy pastel dress? Girl, you look like a pastry

Doesn't really like you working with a prince

He just doesn't get it! Like, what do you need a prince for? People like the princess more anyway

Even when you tell him it's part of the act, he's pouty about it

It's cute though, in its own way!

[adrianicsea]

the time that glenn howerton was in a gay period-piece play about crossdressing

so awhile back i was poking around glenn howerton's wikipedia looking for movies and such that i might have missed, and i noticed it had a small theatrical section listed. this was never something i'd given much thought in the past, but on this particular occasion i was so hard-up for new Glontent that i decided to see what i could find about the three plays listed there, because i'd never seen anyone else have much luck with that and i love a good internet scavenger hunt. walk with me.

compleat female stage beauty caught my eye right away-- the title of the play itself is interesting, and i happened to know already that the most famous real-life duke of buckingham was the lover of king james. so of course i went delving...

and what should i find but the entire playscript for compleat female stage beauty, For Free, on archive dot org? anyone on earth can rent it and read it for an hour at a time, or for 14 days if you want to really take your time with it. i have to assume that this is NOT common knowledge among sunny fans (or anyone else), as the archive upload only has 99 views at the time of making this post.

to give a VERY succinct summary of what the play is about-- in the 1660s, during the english restoration, women were allowed to act professionally onstage for the first time in english history. this caused problems for the male actors who had previously made their careers playing female characters, such as edward kynaston, around whom the play centers. outside of his acting career, kynaston is a gay man, and he's in a romantic entanglement with george villiars, the duke of buckingham (NOT the same duke of buckingham who was fucking king james-- that was this villiars' dad. we love gay fathers and their gay sons!) kynaston struggles to find his place in a changing social landscape where it seems as though his talents are no longer needed or wanted.

before getting into the script proper, the book has some information about notable early productions of the play. this is great because it pins down a lot of details about glenn's involvement in the show that wikipedia left unanswered, but there's also an unexpected sunny crossover here-- in an even EARLIER production, the lead role was played by david hornsby!

(i also learned over the course of my deep dive on this that glenn's costar, lead actor brandon demery, was a fellow member of glenn's graduating juilliard group!)

things don't end well for kynaston and villiars, but still, the onstage relationship between the two is both electrifying and heartbreaking as it changes over the course of the show.

now, this WOULD be where i would include cast pictures or footage or any kind of photos of glenn in this show... but if any such material exists, it's not publicly available. i went so far as to email the publicity and outreach coordinator for the theater that hosted glenn's production of this show to ask if they had any archived materials, but she told me that they didn't.

but this production took place in october of 2000, meaning it was pre-that 80s show, meaning we can all sit and think about how a glenn that looked like This was acting in a gay period piece about crossdressing and gender roles and the mystery of human sexuality. dudes rock.

a bit of a disappointing note to end on, i know, but i really wanted to talk about this play and share it with people!! it's a super interesting and overlooked part of glenn's early career, but also i think the script is fascinating and very well-written in its own right. i definitely encourage yall to check it out on the internet archive if you're interested-- again, it's literally free!

[meanbossart]

Asks about VaM, art advice, and miscellaneous stuffs

HI! Real quick please refrain from referring to Sad Sack as S/S for the uh... Obviously reasons LOL We call it "sads" for short!

If what you're asking for are recommendations for a website to host that kind of thing, Neocities, Twitter, Itchio and as you mentioned AO3 are all perfectly good options! Patreon too (depending on how gnarly you're planning on getting) but I'd suggest keeping that as a secondary host option because I don't think it lends itself super well for getting your work circulating. I believe Bluesky allows that kind of thing too, but I'm not too sure since I don't use it.

Now, If you're asking about public reaction rather than guidelines, anywhere you go you might find people that don't jive with the work you do 🤷 just be upfront about the type of content you're making right off the bat to avoid having anyone stumble upon it by accident to the best of your abilities, otherwise, I wouldn't worry too much. I know we're constantly exposed to examples of overwhelming harassment and "dogpilling" happening to others but... Truth be told, most of us won't ever get to the size/internet level of fame where we experience that. I think the threat is a little bit... Overstated, nowadays. Not to mention that most of the time people are getting harassment for things that have nothing to do with their work, and rather relating to their behavior and attitudes. Play smart, be responsible, and be honest! Whatever comes next is in god's hands LOL

Thank you for the ask! Not sure I was of much help 😅 but frankly when you're just starting out it's best to focus on getting the work done first and just throwing it out there, wherever it may be. You can worry about technicalities like that later!

I GOT YOU MAN the full sketch is now up on my patreon!

YES AND YES WHETHER IT BE STORIES OR ART OF DU DROW AND YOUR CHARACTERS SLAMMING PINTS TOGETHER BE MY GUEST PLEASE

I love seeing everyone's take on my weirdo so much, anything is honestly welcomed!

AW DUDE thank you so much! Especially for suffering through the mammoth of a story that ANE turned into - writing has never been my strongest point so I'm always shocked to hear from people that enjoy it 🥲

About the booze question, honestly I'm not picky at all, I usually go by price and by that I mean whatever is cheapest LOL but I prefer a dry white as far as types go.

You only have to pay for it once! You get a code that unlocks the software and all of it's features and you're free to cancel your subscription after that. At some point the code might change or there might be an update that requires subscribing again - but that seems like a very rare occurrence so I wouldn't worry about it.

OH NO I HAVE DEFINITELY TRACED MY OWN REFERENCE BEFORE, but not entire poses! When something is challenging I'll make a point of drawing it out the usual way.

I can remember a couple of instances from Nick and mine's comic where I traced pictures I took of myself, just as a time saving measure. Again like I said in the post, there are several ways to employ tracing your own material that is perfectly acceptable. I have also traced bare-bones 3D backgrounds that I made for the same reasons.

I know you specifically asked about tracing when something's complicated, but I still wanted to be upfront to demystify the practice under different circumstances. The rule of thumb is to never use it when you know it would be inhibiting your skill development!

Happy to hear you wanted to pick up the skill! I definitely understand the urge too LOL since playing BG3 and becoming so invested in the stories and characters my art has improved a ton, simply from forcing me out of my usual style and making me want to capture different moods and scenarios - finding something you're passionate to draw is, frankly a great damn start.

I replied to a bunch of asks asking for pointers and advice a while back, one of the questions was very similar to yours and I still stand behind the advice I gave then. Hopefully you can find something helpful here! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/740543514692173824/some-art-advice-asks-ive-been-meaning-to-reply

HMMM I don't usually think of myself as the best teacher/tutorial guy, but funnily enough I can think of a few things about this topic that I could elaborate on lol. If I do that in the near future, I'll put it up on my patreon (for free as with everything else.)

If there are any specific things about it that you (and anyone else who would be interested in it, for that matter) find challenging and would like for me to focus on, let me know!

---

That's all for now folks, and as usual thank you so much to everyone who's left a nice compliment, word of encouragement or funny tidbit in my inbox as well! I can't reply to you all individually, but I see and read all the messages I get c:

HAVE A LOVELY REST OF YOUR WEEK

[beepboopeeboo]

Classmates | 5. Café

Heyy i’m back kinda 😀 i hope y’all are still interested in reading this smau 😭😭 I ended up making this chapter a bit long to make things up (or at least I think it’s long)🧍‍♀️

“You know it would be really funny if Haerin and her friends walked right into this cafe right now,” said Rinji.

“No it would not! How’d you even find out?” Y/n gave a confused look knowing damn well she didn’t make it obvious that she and Haerin exchanged numbers.

“Danielle told me”

“You guys still talk?” Haruna questioned.

“Of course we still do. You’re making it sound like we’re exes, she was literally my band’s vocalist.”

Y/n shrugged, “I mean technically she is since shes a ex-member.”

“Can ex-band members not be friends or something?”

“They can they can its just…I thought something bad happened which was why she left.”

“Oh, no she had to leave since she wanted to focus on college. We’re all cool though.”

“Good to know” Y/n receives a text message a few minutes after and checks to see who it was from.

It was Haerin

“WHAT!” Y/n was so taken aback that she stood up from her seat and was quickly sat back down by Haruna. The people in the cafe looked at her with a concerned look, while her two best friends awkwardly laugh and smile apologizing to the onlookers.

Haruna hits the lover girl on the arm

“Ow! What was that for?!” Y/n says loudly as she rubs her arm pouting. Earning even more glances from other customers.

Rinji leans in whispering to Y/n, “You fucking idiot did you forget that we’re in a public place,” she continues, “What got you so surprised that you suddenly stood up?”

Y/n shows the two girls her notification and their eyes widen.

“Answer back what are you doing?!?” Haruna says.

“What do you want me to say!”

“Just tell her “yeah hey its y/n” or something.”

Haruna looks over at Y/n’s phone, “That’s it?”

“What else- oh she replied back” Y/n looks at her phone again

“Does this girl want me dead. My GOODNESS.”

Rinji waves her hand in front of the enamored girl’s phone to get her attention, “Y/n? Earth to Y/n!”

“Huh? Wha?”

“Dude you’ve been staring at her picture for almost 5 minutes. Send her a contact photo back or else she’s gonna think you’re leaving her on read.”

“Oh shit. You’re right.” She quickly looks through her gallery for a picture to send back to Haerin which took like a minute or so to find, but Y/n eventually found one that she liked and sent it to her. “Aaaand sent.”

Haruna just shakes her head at the girl in disbelief. Her childhood best friend of however many years has had the same crush on this girl since sophomore year and they are now just interacting outside of school, but don’t get her wrong she is happy for her though. Rinji on the other hand is just glad that Y/n won’t be texting them about the tiniest interactions that she and her crush just had or when she sees her in the hall every time. However, something tells her that she’ll still be dealing with even more of Y/n’s crush related things.

“WHAT?!?”

“Oh yeah. I invited Eunchae too so she might end up bringing someone along with her. Hope that’s alright with you guys?”

“Yeah thats cool. I’m guessing it’s Kyujin or Haerin?”

“Was this Haruna’s plan to get me to interact with Haerin??!”

Not really. Haruna just wasn’t sure if her tennis bestie was bringing one of their teammates or another friend.

“To be honest she didn’t really specify who she was bringing but I guess we’ll have to see.” Haruna shrugged it off meanwhile Y/n is trying her best to stay calm. “Anyways, while we wait I want to know how orientation went for you guys today. Because mine went pretty well surprisingly.”

“Same here. I got some classes with a couple of people that I know.” Rinji replied.

“Honestly me too and it’s mostly because I have like 3 classes with Haerin this year.”

“Really?” The two girls say in unison.

“Yeahhhh. We looked over at each other’s schedules in which the times and classes matched for 3 of them. Then it resulted into us exchanging each other’s socials and numbers once we were in our 3rd class together.”

The two girls just looked at each other then at Y/n with a face. Before one of them could even say anything the bell from the cafe door rang and Haruna checked to see who it was from her seat. Coming in was Eunchae, Kyujin and Haerin. Y/n’s heart was beating a lot more faster and she became nervous once she saw a glimpse of her crush standing alongside her own two best friends and she immediately looks down at her phone pretending to be occupied.

“Okay i gotta stay calm and pretend I didn’t see her. I’m just gonna pretend I didn’t see her or her friends.”

The three girls walk over to where the other trio were sitting after ordering and thankfully the table near them was empty so they all would be able to interact with one another. They were also allowed to put their tables a little closer to each other, as long as they put them back to where they originally were, and so they did. Haerin sits down on a chair close to Y/n but not too close.

“Seriously Y/n a fucking thumbs up??”

Y/n looks up from her phone and tries to scoot over a little more towards Haerin, while trying her best to somehow not embarrass herself. Her heart continues to beat faster so she distracts herself by fiddling with her fingers and goes on her phone to scroll through instagram. Her being shy doesn’t help the fact that she wants to talk to her crush, however, she couldn’t really think of anything to talk about. Haerin is also pretty shy and quiet so she doesn’t really know what they should talk about either.

“Y/n Kim go get our drinks,” said Rinji.

“Damn, why are we suddenly using my full government name out loud,” Y/n says as she’s standing up.

Rinji rolled her eyes

“I’ll come with you too, Y/n. I think ours should be done soon,” said Haerin and gets up as well.

“Oh. Yeah okay.”

As they both head towards the counter together, Y/n tries to strike up a conversation.

“So did you end up having any other classes with your friends?”

“Oh uh I think I only have one class with Kyujin, but I still have the same homeroom as Eunchae,” her crush replied.

“Same. I only got one class with Haruna and another with Rinji. Oh wait we literally have AP Lit together with Haruna and Kyujin.”

Haerin lets out a chuckle, “You forgot your classmates already?”

“Possibly.”

They giggle to themselves and grabbed the cup carriers holding their drinks, then walked back to where they were all sitting.

The six girls continue on to talk about random things from one topic to another.

“We should all seriously hangout again together some time!” said Kyujin. “Before I forget, Y/n and Rinji, is it alright if you guys can give me your numbers?”

Eunchae pulls out her phone too, “Oh! Can you two give me yours too so I can make us a group chat?”

“Yeah definitely,” Rinji tells the girl her phone number and afterwards Y/n tells hers next.

“Cool, thank you guys!”

After exchanging numbers, they put the tables and chairs back to where they were before both groups parted their ways.

“I guess that wasn’t so bad”

[previous, next]

Taglist: @sofakingwoso @newhairnewjeans @fluffyji @wintersgff @linnnsworld @aprilsavagegirl @frankzz9 @idkwhatim-doinghere101 @pandafuriosa60

[herejusttosufferalong]

Y'all, I've been glued to this saga because L and R are so similar to what I went thru with my ex, like down to the sleeping on the couch thing, only reversed, that I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A and S don't know what they're in for.

Storytime: My ex's Rory is called Mike and they met playing a sport in college when X was a freshman and M was a super senior, so he's ~4 years older. M took X under his wing and they became bros for life I guess. M is super nice and goofy but a hot mess as a person, can't be trusted with the simplest of tasks but gets by by being beloved by everyone. X has consistently thrown him bones, brought him on to projects and recommended him for gigs at the expense of his own career and reputation. You can't make this shit up.

X and I were long distance for the first ~year of the relationship, I moved out to him to a small ass town an hour away from anywhere because of his job and because it was cheap. We were in a 1bd apartment and the first little while was bliss, hot and heavy, amazing. It was my first time living with a partner. Maybe a few months in, M calls X - he got a job in the city an hour away and he's moving down. X gets the brilliant idea to invite him to stay on our couch until he finds a place. I was fine with it at first because he was a super nice guy but I had no idea what I was getting into. Ladies, when I tell you I became the 3rd wheel in my own relationship and a ghost in my own home, I'm not being dramatic.

I was working from home so I was alone all day in a town where I knew no one who wasn't connected to X in some way and when the two of them would get home, they'd bro out with each other and I basically had to compete for my bf's attention. We stopped doing anything that didn't include him and constantly had to be mindful about how loud we were in the bedroom because he was on the fucking couch. I couldn't relax in my own home that I was paying rent and bills for. Mind you, M at this point was further along in his career than X and making way more money. Two months pass, he still hasn't found a place and instead commutes an hour each way to work. Then the fucking pandemic hits. I was the only one working initially and I was at home with the two of them playing video games, working out, watching TV, yelling, laughing, on TT, on Zoom with their other buddies 24/7 while I was trying to work. We'd constantly end up doing whatever they wanted to do. Dude stayed on our couch for like 10 1/2 months, only paying for groceries, takeout and activities here and there. I kinda snapped during the holidays, I drove across the country alone to be with my family and didn't go back, my dad then made a round trip to go get my stuff because I just couldn't even look at X. Only then did it occur to X and M that maybe M should move out. But you know what the narrative in his friend group is about me? That I'm a cold bitch who broke his heart.

I look back on it now and I'm angry at myself for being such a dummy, I was a total pushover. My X wasn't a bad dude, he was just too much of a bro to know how to be a bf. He always felt a need to include everyone but that cut into the little time we had together. In my defense, he was really hot lol.

It's crazy to think how different my life is now with my fiance, we just bought a house earlier this spring, which wouldn't have been possible with my X because he spends all his money on his hobbies. X literally did the same HBS thing L did after I dumped him, hit the gym like crazy, he follows like a thousand half naked girls on IG, likes all their posts and thirsts in the comments, it's beyond cringe. This is also on his fully public IG account that he also uses for work. He hasn't been in a serious relationship since, I'm told he's become quite the fboy, but he's collected a seemingly infinite amount of new bros judging by his posts. M is still in the picture, of course, although he has his own place and a serious gf now, while my ex has a new roommate who he plays an expensive, niche equipment sport with that he spends every penny he earns on. My ex was a Leo, so I'm not surprised L has it prominently in his chart.

This stuff is not uncommon among younger Millennial men. My now fiance is 5 years older and he is a Man. He shows up for me the way I show up for him, he doesn't make plans without considering me and he's on top of his finances. He's a serious person. I never knew I could be at peace like this. I know what I'm building towards with him. A and S are just sidepieces to the main love story that is L and R and if/when one of them gets dumped, the other one will as well. They're there because they go along with what L and R want. It'll come back to bite them in the ass but they'll learn an invaluable lesson the way that I did - don't date a manchild who won't prioritize you over his friends.

some good advice for the youngins

thank you for sharing 💜🥃

[mash4077confessions]

For your last reblog, please do Mulcahy!!! I love your answers for him. You’re almost single handedly keeping Mulcahy girlies alive!

Thank you very much 😊

Alrighty, let's do the rest of these headcanon questions for Mulcahy!

3) Who depends on them? Everyone at 4077th, in someway shape or form, even if they don't really notice it. He would be prime for an "It's A Wonderful Life" kind of episode.

Back in Philadelphia...it's a very different story. Hell, one of the main reasons why he volunteered to go to Korea, was because he wanted to be useful and no one seemed to need him in Philadelphia.

4) What they would do if they had one month to live?

At first, I think Mulcahy would be very angry. He'd randomly lash out, he'd be hitting his punching bag. Then he'd get very solemn. He'd pray (a lot more than usual), and he'd drink heavily. Then Mulcahy would come out of that, and decide that his last days were better spent on others, instead of pitying himself.

He'd donate all his money, spend extra time with his friends and Kathy. He might even reach out to his brothers that he's long since stopped speaking to.

Mulcahy would give his all till the last moment of life, and still he'd ask quietly to himself, whether or not he'd really done enough.

5) A cherished personal belonging?

Well he has several things I can think of off the top of my head. The crucifix necklace he wears all the time, that was from Kathy. She gave it to him when he decided to join the church, and so it is very valuable to him.

He also has several photographs that he made a point to bring with him to Korea (one of his parents on their wedding day, as no one else seemed interested in having it, a picture of him and Kathy as toddlers, and then the one family portrait they had done when he was still a baby).

There is also his rather healthy library he took with him as well (Plato, War and Peace, The Completed Works of Shakespeare).

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back?

his hearing

His mother. She died just before his 18th birthday. I'm still deciding what actually killed her, but it definitely was caused in part to her having had so many children (7 total). It does things to your body.

If we're just talking about a general item, he has "lost" a couple of autographs from his favorite boxers (I say lost in quotations because what really happened was a nun found his autographed boxing magazines, including one signed by Artie Levine, and she threw them away because she didn't think it was appropriate for a priest to have so many images of shirtless men laying around. She claimed it was the boxing she took issue with, but we know what she was really thinking).

7) This character’s favorite character?

Hawkeye. It kinda goes without saying. Mulcahy is often in awe of him, and he finds him humorous (although a tad obnoxious at times), and he goes to him for help because he knows Hawkeye will be there when he needs him and won't judge him for reaching out.

Mulcahy is also great friends with Potter, though the man is much older than he is, they have a surprising amount in common (side note: is it just me or when William Christopher got old, he started looking more like Harry Morgan?)

Mulcahy also has very close friendships with both Klinger and Sidney.

8) What kind of car they would drive?

I don't think Mulcahy owns a car in his civilian life. Public transportation would have still been pretty common in 1950s Philadelphia and when he was in college at Loyola, that was in Chicago. No real big need to own a car when you're in a city center. That said, if he did have a vehicle, it would be old and second-hand. It would work but it wouldn't be fancy. Probably white or sand colored.

10) How they deal with pain?

Like physical pain? Dude can take a hit. When he was a featherweight boxer (his former life before Kathy got him to become a priest) he'd have concussions, couple broken ribs, black eyes, etc. Of course he gave as good as he got, and then some. But he has a pretty high pain tolerance.

(If you want to talk about that time that Margaret hit him and he acted like he was in pain, it's because she's a woman and he can't hit a woman, so he knew he'd have no way to physically defend himself if she really decided to let him have it. She's also REALLY strong.)

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing?

Mulcahy isn't much into fashion. If it fits and doesn't have holes or stains on it, it's good enough for him. His priestly attire is more important to him than any civilian clothes he owns. That said, he is very fond of his Loyola hoodie (aren't we all?), that "G" baseball cap that Hawkeye bought him, and he does have one really nice lavender button down dress shirt (worn only on leave in Tokyo, which he seldom gets to do).

13) What kind of parent they would be?

The best kind. He would be soooooo loving and affectionate towards his children. He would spend so much time and energy engaging with them on their level. The kids at St. Teresa's Orphanage absolutely adore him, and he adores them right back. He's not great at discipline, though. That would be his partner's job, for sure. Not that he can't lay down the law, when needed, but he's afraid he's overdoing it and sounding like his father.

14) How they did in school?

Mulcahy was always very interested in learning and had no problem keeping up with the lessons. The trouble was that sometimes he just really wanted to read Plato or Aristotle or The Odyssey...and his teachers didn't appreciate him wanting to go off and do his own thing. He definitely got hit by at least one teacher at school fairly regularly for this.

Mulcahy always wanted to learn and discuss very broad topics, and his teachers didn't want to deal with that. Which was not great for him because they'd labeled him a troublemaker, and that got him the belt from his dad. Mulcahy always got on better with the girls in his class rather than the boys.

The boys were all like his brothers and his father; they wanted to rough house and when they got older, go skirt chasing. The girls liked him because he was sweet, and kind, and dorky. They felt safe with him. The boys also beat him mercilessly, until he was 12 and learned that it was OK to defend himself.

Many a time, he had his glasses broken, and once again, his dad would go right for the belt.

I think he was always on the outs in school, even in the seminary. I'm sure he had friends but he also had a lot of people looking at him as if he were just one giant question mark. No one really knowing what to make of him, and overlooking so many wonderful aspects of his being, because of that lack of understanding.

15) What cologne or perfume they would use?

I don't know if he really uses any. If Mulcahy does ever use cologne, it's going to be something cheap and earthy. He is a very cleanly person and he has really nice kinda fruity smelling soap and shampoo. Because he's around the church incense so often, it does stick to his robes. The incense has a nice cedar sort of smell to it.The point being in all this, is that he bathes regularly (probably the most often out of anyone in the main cast) and he does smell very nice.

17) What they’d sing at karaoke?

Something upbeat and fun. Maybe from a musical?

18) Special talents they have?

As previously stated, Mulcahy has a serious green thumb when it comes to his garden. He's also got one hell of a right hook for boxing. He plays piano (how well depends entirely on who you ask). Mulcahy has a pretty solid knack for gambling as a whole, but his odds do fair a lot better when making bets specifically on people...rather than cards. He can whistle pretty well too. Carries a nice tune when he sings (still better sounding with a partner).

Sometimes his most important talent is just getting people to agree to let things go with a small smile, and a tiny "please? 😇"

Mulcahy can also read Greek...though that's mostly just so he can read poetry in its original language.

Also did you see his sand castle in GFA? Dude has some mad skills to pull that one off without a mold.

Mulcahy is a mutitalented person. I didn't even name all his talents/skills.

20) Household chore they hate the most?

This is tough, because Mulcahy loves to clean. He loves dishes, and laundry, and finds dusting rather relaxing. Of course, this is all done as an act of service for someone else's benefit; the rest of the 4077th, those he shares the rectory with back home, his mother when he was a child, etc.

My best guess would be cooking. I think he can cook a fairly decent meal, but most of the time he's only ever cooked for himself and that immediately makes him disinterested in the task. He's just doing it because he has to eat. That's it.

21) Their fondest childhood memory?

Ok, not counting the Gentleman Joe memory because we already know all about that one. I'd say it's a memory of a time with his mother for sure. A time when the house was quiet, because his older brothers and Kathy were away at school, his father was working, and there with his head nestled in his mother's lap was baby Mulcahy, listening to her as she read to him, and stroked his head. It was a good place to be.

22) How they spend their money?

While in Korea most of his money goes to St. Teresa's Orphanage and a few creature comforts for himself.

Back at home he definitely still gives a lot to charity (he has his preferred organizations within the greater Philadelphia area). Of course he has to spend money on necessities such as food, toiletries, clothing items as they fall apart, etc. He gives gifts to his loved ones from time to time as well (birthdays and Christmas in particular, but sometimes just to cheer people up).

As for money he spends on himself just because; well he gambles and you gotta have money on hand for that, he sometimes splurges and treats himself to a good quality cigar or a higher quality beer. He's got some good leather dress shoes that he keeps well polished. Oh! And on theater tickets (both plays and the movies). He also occasionally hits the local art museums and will spend hours there looking at the paintings and statues.

(And as I write this, I know suddenly really want to take him to the MET, because he'd absolutely love it.)

23) What kind of alcohol they drink?

Beer and occasionally wine. His max alcohol percentage is 5%. Anything stronger than that and he will get plastered so quickly. Most of the time, when he drinks you'll notice him sort of nursing his beer, as opposed to chugging for the finish. He actually likes the taste of beer, and usually isn't trying to get drunk.

24) What they wish they could change about themselves?

Mulcahy wishes he was a better orator, the kind that really puts the butts in the pews and has them all feeling God's words deep in their hearts. For clarification on this, he isn't a terrible speaker, but his sermons are loaded with dad Father jokes and thinly valed stories of people he knows.

In general, Mulcahy just wants to be better. To do better. He's chasing the approval of others, because he doesn't really approve of himself. Self validation isn't his thing.

25) What other people wish they could change about them?

The people who know and love Mulcahy, wish he could see himself as they see him (goes for most of the fandom as well, I think). But at the same time, his humility is part of what makes him, him, so maybe they just wish he wouldn't beat himself up so much.

People who don't like him or at least don't particularly care about him (Frank, some higher ranking members of the military, couple church officials from his home parish, etc) they would want him to be a bit more "fire and brimstone", and to have a bit more military sense. They want him to be more traditional and fundamentalist in his views. And they'd also like him to stop with the Bible puns. But they don't matter, because they don't like him anyway.

I feel like I've missed some small but still very vital details, but that's the trouble with headcanons; I could go on and on.

[patchofgrey]

Frequency Chapter 12 snippet

Naruto crossed his arms over his chest. They had gone through all that trouble of deciding to get a ring, then helping him customize it, just to have it sit in his belongings. They have yet to see Tenten wear it. Neji groaned, stating he was going to wait for the opportune moment to present it to her. There was too much stress and things to do for him to pull her aside for that. She was determined to work on her skills for her project, he was trying to assist her in gathering information. 

“Sounds like bitch to me!” Naruto teased. “It’s like you're playing pussy all of a sudden.”

“Wha-”

“Naruto, give him time. He is right, we all have been stressed out.” Lee stepped between the two of them, sensing the shift in Neji’s energy. “Besides, I am sure Neji will fully embrace his youth with Tenten when we are all more relaxed.”

“Why are you so hellbent on being involved in my love life?” Neji huffed, his cheeks fading to a light pink. “Don’t you have better things to do?”

Naruto clicked his tongue. “Dude, you’re the first one in our group who is engaged . You, Tenten, Sakura, Sasuke, and bushy brow are some of the closest friends I have. And you, specifically, are always on my ass about Hinata anyway especially when we started dating. I’m simply returning the favor for my future sister in law.”

The Hyuga prodigy stared hard at the Uzumaki. It was with good intentions, but really he would’ve rather kept it all to himself. Sooner or later, he and Naruto were to be family. He knew Hiashi would instantly approve of their marriage just as the lord had approved of Neji’s choice of partner; it was only a matter of time before Naruto proposed to Hinata himself. A groan escaped his lips, it was really none of his business.

“I already spoke to Tenten,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Once this mess gets sorted out, we will talk about marriage. Not when she’s in the middle of her own family dilemma that could potentially affect all of us in the long run.” 

“All I’m saying is, don’t drag your feet.” Naruto replied.

“That’s rich coming from you. You were completely oblivious to my cousin’s hints all these years and you’re telling me not to drag my feet? Tenten and I have been dating since our last chunnin exams; I think I know what I’m doing.”

Naruto looked at him in surprise. That’s when Neji realized that he had just aged his relationship with Tenten. It was true, they had begun dating not too long after they took the chunnin exams again when they were sixteen. They managed to keep it a secret from most of the group of their peers for quite a long time. The first of their peers to figure it out was Shikamaru, who agreed to keep the discovery to himself. Then, he had a long talk with Gai-sensei and Lee after he saved them from Kisame’s water prison. His affections had saved the group, purly under the responsibility he put on himself to keep Tenten safe from any harm without smothering her. Letting his emotions be open was already difficult for the Hyuga, but it was that situation where Gai-sensei had figured it out himself; how Neji had held her, and didn’t let her go. They worked hard to keep their relationship under wraps, however when they finally decided to make it public, it was after the war. Though one could argue that they did a pretty good job hiding it, it came to no surprise to people when they did make it public. They were always seen as a couple, even if they were pretending not to be. 

“So…all this time, you two-”

“Yes, Naruto.” Neji gave an aggravated sigh. “All this time.” 

“Damn, You guys are wild for that.” The blonde chuckled. “Practically married all this time!”

Neji’s eyes went wide at that comment. He supposed there was some truth to it when he saw their relationship as a bigger picture. A small half smile crept onto his face as he recalled all the times he was confronted about who he was to Tenten. 

“Yes, I suppose you’re right, Naruto.”  

“Of course I am.” The blonde grinned. “And when I’m the uncle to your kids, I will be sure to make sure they know how much of a wuss you were when proposing to their mom!”

As fast as the smile had reached his face, it vanished with the same speed. Neji felt a pit in his stomach and rolled his eyes. He had only spoken to Tenten about children, but hearing it from someone else made it seem more than a mere fantasy of his. Rock Lee saw the shift of emotion on his teammates face and chuckled a bit. Being an adult was hitting them faster than any of them would’ve imagined. 

read the rest here: FF.net | A03

[volkswagonblues]

JEJSJDAH HI making myself known is actually terrifying #socialanxietywhooop but here we go

I JUST FINISHED READING FIREBENDER'S GUIDE + DELETED SCENES AND OH. MY. LORD. quite literally obsessed I'm sitting here at work zoning out because it has left such an impact on me...where do I even start?

okay so I recently got back into atla because well I just started feeling so nostalgic?? and a zukka spiral later led me to your fic (one of my favorite jujutsu kaisen authors had your fic bookmarked. I knew I had to do it.) and well!!

the characterization. I'm absolutely obsessed. the way you wrote sokka as a cherry dude but he still has issues!! the depiction of said issues. zuko as he tries and tries so hard to do better even when he fails...personal favorite scene that made me giggle was when he ran back to apologize to li and lo btw cackled out loud on public transportation

but I guess what I'm trying to say is that firebender's guide, to me, feels like a really good depiction of how startlingly flawed and human we all are. like. not inherently bad but not all good, because no one is ever all good. it feels like such a good character study of zuko and all that he is since realizing only he can regain his own honor. it's just...how do I even express how lovely and raw and real it is in the best way?

AND THE WAY YOU WROTE ZUKKA. giggles. they're so!! even when they're mad at each other they have. a certain understanding. it's expanding on what we know about canon so beautifully. the gentle way sokka loves zuko while being mean enough about it because zuko just needs a little push when it comes to certain things. the desperate way zuko needs sokka but realizes that it can be gentle and fond. just. [incoherent screaming] THE WAY YOU WRITE YEARNING OHHHHH. MY.

and that's not even covering the wonderful way the plot took me for a ride. it was so beautifully crafted. I wish I could be you :") I was just as immersed in the larger plot as I was with the zukka dynamic. the worldbuilding ahdhajdj I respect SERIOUSLY respect the amount of research and dedication you put into this fic. genuinely. it all came together to craft such a beautiful picture and I'm HERE FOR IT!

anyhow. concluding what essentially became a rant. tysm for blessing the world with this fic 🙏

Hey! okay, sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a week because it's such a lovely message and I'm so touched that someone is reaching out to me about this fic. It was my first proper, completed, novel-length fic and I wrote it during COVID lockdown when I like, jobless with no outlet at all for my mental energy.

The process of writing the fic taught me a lot about plotting--I went the screenwriter's route and used the Save the Cat beat sheet (you can google it, it's basically a screenwriter's tool for plotting out movies, which is a medium that doesn't take shaggy and meandering very well. There's an excel version for novelists here: Elizabeth Davis’s Save the Cat Beat Sheet Spreadsheet for Novels)

I didn't read this book back then, but a book that really helps with worldbuilding is John Truby's The Anatomy of Story. I think some of the best books on plotting and storytelling are done by screenwriters.

And about the fic in general--ATLA is such a beautiful show and the zukka summer of 2020 was SUCH a crazy time because everyone was so desperate for a mental escape, I'm happy it still holds up!! I love both characters. I love thinking through the moral implications of the history in ATLA's worldbuilding and playing with the fantasy rules of that universe. Thanks so much for reading and thanks so much for brightening my day by telling me about it <3

[short-black-diamond]

Hiii :)

Hope ur doing okay <3. I wanted to ask if u could make a part 2 of Tokyo revengers member with a hijabi girl but this time they’re married and it’s like a headcanon of how the guys act in public, or if they help her to dress up please ! :) (if u do it, I’m okay with all characters but can u add mitsuya plzzz)

I rlly don’t know if that’s clear bc English isn’t my first language but I hope it is and sorry for the typos !!

Btw hello from France, I love ur headcanons hehee :))

Heyyy, I hope everything is okay over there, France looks like it's burning rn from the news I'm getting. Also yeah I am totally doing this!

Also your english is pretty good so don't worry sweetheart,

Also I did not proofread

Characters : Ran, Rindou, Sanzu, Baji, Mitsuya

Tokyo revengers with a muslim wife :D

Part one , part two -> tr with a muslim friend

Ran

This slick mf

this click model lanky ass dude mf

how did you even get to date him? With his fvking braids???

Anyways, back to the now where he has a better haircut-

Since he is what we could say the main leader of Roppongi, he must also have access to many clothing shops

and when I tell you he let his underlings install as many modest shops as possible-

just to go on a walk with you and be like-

"Oh, that is new. Wanna go in and see some dresses or skirts for you?"

again, he is a slick mf

but you somehow love him so i let you vibbeeeee

"Oh, that looks nice- oop, nope, not for me.", you muttered after you checked the price on the tag of a pretty looking dress

but ran just took it and put it on his underarm like a waiter would

you felt bad the whole time

cuz like, everything is so expensive???

but no shit cuz it has qualityyyyy

chile anyways

you got like ten dresses and two abayas you wanted to "just try out"

mind you ran is actually planning to buy the whole store for you

but you are also no better, you are a lil shit as well

when you got to the place where they hung the hijabs, you smirked at him mischieviously

your were trying to hold in your laugh as you tapped him on the shoulder

"He-hey Ran...w-wanna try this out?", and you couldn't do no more than to burst out laughing

ran just smiled at you in fondness while he thought back to the day where you first led him to one of the stores you frequented and he wanted to make you laugh

so he put on a headshawl, but he looked more like a grandma than a modest woman

and you had that exact picture in mind as you were giggling

at least he was your husband now

he pays for everything, he is sweet to you, and you feel comfortable around him, even in public

y'all look like a power couple tbh

he looks rich and you're his precious woman

damn I'm feeling so single now. Thanks for requesting this. It's a great reminder on how I'll never find a rich man like him.

Rindou

shy, still surprised and happy that you decided to marry him

like, you married him? he was bald on both sides of his head in his teen age gírl!

he looks better now-

enough of the bullying, this tsundere man (I still know nothing about these guys) had the same idea as his older brother and so, there were many shops, but under his name. He financed them, and so it was no surprise when he took you out on a shopping spree, only for you to take whatever you want

safe to say he fell in love all over again when he saw you happily strolling ahead and picked some clothes for yourself

he also loves showing you off

like, he's also lucky that you don't mind stepping out in public with him

y'all also look like a power couple

and honestly, he thinks that you look absolutely beautiful, covered in the finest silk and smiling that sweet smile of yours

Sanzu

You were the reason he stopped falling into the abyss of temporary ecstasy, which would lead to his death

He was surprised that you didn't look at him weirdly

and now, he is happy to call himself your husband

he loves touching the different susbances like jersey, silk, or cotton cloth, which you would use to cover your head with

"This one looks nice! Want me to buy it for you?"

Such a sweet man for you

always tells you when there's hair visible, also stands in front of you, looking down on you with a fond smile as you hurriedly fix your hijab

loves holding your hand and swinging it around

Feels much better when you tell him about Islam and stories from the prophets

wants to protect you at all costs because you're just so beautiful and sweet and he wouldn't be able to live alone anymore if something happened to you,

I mean,

you saved him from the drugs and alcohol, he wants to save you form all the bastards outside

Baji

You guys got together because he beated up a few guys who were harrassing you

stares at the men who look at you for longer than 0.0000001 second

like Baji...

please-

anyways

hates it when you wash your stuff and he has to iron them then, because he fears that he'd either not iron it perfectly, or the iron burns your precious and expensive cloths

you always tell him to let you do it yourself, his deadass response is always:

"If I can't iron my wife's clothes then what type of man am I?!?"

We love Baji

Is also in love with your cooking? Or when you go to a restaurant which has your traditional food, he is all in

wants to have kids with you, like in the first month of being married, he was like, "would you like to start a family? I'd love to see my daughters wearing hijabs as well"

Goals

we got him, sisters

You smile, "Let's wait a little"

Like c'mon Baji, let your wife have a calm live, kids can come later

but he still managed to put you into a baby fever

Sends you fucking videos of mothers playing with their daughters

little girls putting on niqabs

little biys praying alongside or behind their father

Baji got taught how to pray by you, your father, or his newly found friends in mosques

he wants to have children so bad, and the fact that Islam is not just a religion but the way of living life, he wants to teach his younglings as well

(How did I think about kids all of a sudden???)

Mitsuya

You better believe that when you ask him to go buy clothes with you, he's only looking for ideal cotton which won't irritate your skin

will make you feel guilty by saying: "don't you trust my skills?"

damn another gaslighter, but in a healthy way

I mean, sure, buying cotton itself is expensive, but at least he knows what fits you spot on and you don't have to look for stuff that you'll only wear once a month

takes lessons on how to make the perfect hijab and dress for you

I've said it once but I'll say it again,

GOALSSS

ok now here again

will have the same idea as baji and ask you if you'd like to have kids

to make them hijabs as well

In his next fashion meeting, he introduces the idea of having his models run the stage with modest clothing, and got accepted

when I tell you their marketing skyrocketed-

You're happy that your husband launches modest clothing for other muslims as well

---

Sorry if it got shorter and shorter but that was all I could come up with. And now looking back, I'm confused as to why Ran's is so long, I don't even like him, like wtf?

Anyways, I hope you liked it!

Leave a like or a comment! Reblog if you want to!

Read you in the next post!

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Death by Exposure

Written for the Phic Phight Prompts: At first Danny had been worried sick that Wes had figured out that he was Phantom, but when no one believed him it had sort of become funny. Still, after the anti-ecto act, and the GIW, and his own parents very public very violently vitriolic screeds against ghosts, Danny had to wonder what he'd ever done to Wes that the guy would risk exposing Danny to all that. (from @hpwotters-blog, or at least I think that's you're tumblr.), and Wes Weston wakes up to find an injured Phantom on the fire escape. (from @half-deadmagicperson)

Other prompts that will be included in later chapters but aren't in this one:

With how much time he spends on basketball and his delusional conspiracy theories, no one would ever suspect that Wes Weston has another secret hobby… (from @kadziduo)

And Wes has been spending more and more time around Fenton and Co. lately - hey! he’s only trying to get some much-needed evidence against them, not trying to get all buddy-buddy with them. And anyway, they’re an entirely annoying bunch, so he wholeheartedly blames them for the fact that he’s currently being monologued at by the ghost holding him hostage. (from @a-closet-emo)

Chapter 2: Exposome

AO3 Link

[Warnings for: violence, blood (ectoplasm) and injury, and guns]

Much to Danny's relief, everything continued on more or less as normal. His classmates didn't shoot ecto-blasts him while he walked down the halls, the G.I.W. didn't raid his house to abduct him for experimentation, and no matter what had been said at that presentation, the school's generally positive opinion of Phantom had remained intact, just like Sam had said it would.

The only thing that really changed was that most of the student body started wearing Fenton Wrist Rays to school. Some of the girls customized them by painting them with nail polish or gluing rhinestones to them. One girl even soldered tiny loops onto hers so she could attach charms to it. They were an accessory more than a weapon, now, and Danny found his worry subsiding.

Another thing that didn't change was Wes Weston. "I'm telling you people! Look at this!" He held up a picture of Danny with photoshopped white hair and green eyes. "Tell me he doesn't look like Phantom! You can't!"

"Yeah, and I bet if you photoshopped white hair on a picture of yourself, you'd look like Phantom too," one of the cheerleaders heckled.

"You know, there's a really easy way to prove if he's Phantom or not," an upperclassman pointed out, holding up his wrist to show off the silver bracelet there in demonstration. "These ray things don't hurt humans, right? If you really wanna prove he's Phantom, you can just give him a little zap, and see what happens."

Wes looked at the upperclassman, mouth agape in horror. "I'm not gonna shoot him!" he said, aghast at the very idea. Wes didn't even wear his wrist ray to school, and tended to scoff at the assertion that ghosts were all that dangerous at all. "I wanna prove he's Phantom not put him in the hospital."

"Uh-huh, sure." The junior scoffed and shook his head. "Sounds to me like you just don't want us all to see how wrong actually you are."

"Harmless or not, you know we're not allowed to shoot those things at each other," Sam interrupted harshly. "Unless you want detention, I suggest you put a sock in it. Come on Danny."

He followed her to their usual lunch table with Tucker right behind him. 

"I guess you guys were right about Wes not wanting to hurt me," Danny noted as they took their seats. "He may be an asshole, but it's nice to know he has some standards." Just as Danny was about to take a bite of his sandwich he felt his ghost sense go off and his breath misted in front of him. He put his food down with a deep, deep sigh. "I gotta ghost. If I'm not back by the time class starts, take notes for me, okay?"

"You got it, dude," Tucker said. "Do what you gotta do."

Danny sprinted to the bathroom to transform and then took off to deal with Cujo, who'd apparently decided to terrorize a pick-up game of catch on the football field by chasing the ball and tackling the players. Thankfully, Danny would definitely be able to take care of it before Valerie caught wind, but it gave him a bit of a scare when he got there and saw that one of players had activated their wrist ray and was trying to shoot Cujo.

"Stop that! Don't hurt him!" Danny shouted, firing a warning shot in front of the guy's feet to make him back off. "He's just trying to play with you. He doesn't know any better. Cujo! Come!" Cujo turned to look at Danny and happily trotted over to him, tongue lolling. "Good boy." Danny knelt to scratch Cujo behind the ears.

The little dog hadn't even gotten too excited and grown to the size of a shed, and yet these kids had tried to shoot him anyway. Thank the Ancients that they respected Phantom enough to stop when he told them to.

"Is he... friendly?" asked the guy who'd shot at Cujo, cautiously deactivating his wrist ray.

"Oh yeah," Danny assured. "And he's actually well-trained, too, but if he gets over-excited, well, he becomes a bigger problem. He's still friendly, but he's just a dog, and he doesn't know his own strength sometimes."

"Can I pet him?"

"Sure," Danny said. "He won't mind." The student let Cujo sniff his hand before stroking the dog's head.

"Ha," he was clearly amazed that he was able to do something like this at all, and his mouth fell open in awe. "Woah, he feels so weird, like if water could hold a shape."

"You mean like ice?" scoffed one of the other guys he'd been playing catch with.

"No, man! I can't describe it. You gotta feel it for yourself."

Skeptically, the other guy came closer and did the same as the first, cautiously stroking the dog's fur. Cujo rolled over to let them pet his belly, basking in the attention. "Oh, wow that does feel weird."

"I know, right?!"

"Sorry to cut this short, but I really need to get Cujo out of here before Valerie finds him, because she kind of blames him for ruining her life."

"Why's that?"

"Because he kind of accidentally ruined her life," Danny answered with a shrug scooping the dog up. Cujo wriggled for a moment, getting comfortable in Danny's arms before popping his head up, excited for the flight. The nearby students all said goodbye to both Phantom and Cujo. The two who'd been brave enough to pet him thanked Phantom for that opportunity.

Flying home with the ghost dog in his arms to usher him through the Fenton Portal, Danny grinned with relief, and hope. It seemed like the students of Casper High were more inclined to trust Phantom over the government. Maybe he could even convince them that what they were learning about ghosts was wrong, that ghosts could think and feel just like humans did.

After sneakily dropping Cujo off in the Ghost Zone, Danny flew back to school, but a newspaper vending machine stopped him in his tracks. The front page headline read "Phantom menace poisoning the minds of our schoolchildren!" It was an article about how Phantom was supposedly brainwashing the local youth into liking and trusting him. It warned parents to remind their children that all ghosts were evil, and dangerous, even if they appeared to act otherwise.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Danny flew the rest of the way back invisibly.

All Danny's hopes were dashed in short order as the situation grew steadily worse. The school installed ghost detector alarms that would wail anytime Danny got within six feet of them in his human form, which of course had Wes chomping at the bit to scream, "Fenton is Phantom! He keeps setting off the ghost detectors! If that's not proof, I don't know what is!"

"Danny got ecto-contaminated from one of our parents experiments a while ago," Jazz said calmly as she passed them in the hall. "If he was a ghost he would activate them from much further away."

"Yeah, what she said," Danny agreed. That, at least, was true. When he turned into Phantom, any ghost detector within thirty feet of him went off. His human form suppressed his ecto-signature enough to sow doubt in Wes' theory.

Danny's parents started giving speeches in the park about "ghost safety" that basically consisted of them spewing vitriolic ghost hate for an hour straight, and teaching ordinary people how to kill ghosts. They made Danny come to their first speech. When it was over he locked himself in his room until the morning, skipping dinner because he felt too nauseated to eat anything. 

Eventually, the propaganda started to work, and even some people at school started to believe that ghosts were evil. There were still others who disagreed, some because they wanted to believe in their ghostly hero and others simply to spite their parents, as teenagers were wont to do.

The worst was when the government gave approval for the G.I.W. to start doing anti-ghost patrols in Amity Park. Danny tried to go out as Phantom less, by the Ancients he tried, but despite their improved training, the G.I.W. just couldn't hold up to certain stronger ghosts, and they weren't immune to overshadowing either. Besides that, Danny had to protect the ghosts too.

It was one thing to let the G.I.W. chase them off, but they tried to capture ghosts for experimentation as much as possible, which Danny couldn't let fly. He wasn't about to let even his worst enemies go through anything like that. Then there were the ghosts that specifically targeted Danny, like Skulker, and forced him to transform and fight, disregarding the danger to both of them. Taking all that into consideration, try though he did, Danny actually ended up as Phantom even more often than before.

With so much more being piled onto his plate, Wes' continued campaign to expose Danny's secret stopped being funny again, and became annoying, and eventually, Danny was forced to wonder why. Why was Wes still so determined to expose him?

Surely he wasn't completely blind to everything going on. He had to know that there were laws in place that stripped Danny of all his rights as a human being, just because he had ectoplasm in him. He must have heard about all the vile things Danny's own parents said about Phantom during their "ghost safety" speeches. And there was absolutely no way the G.I.W. patrols could've escaped Wes' notice.

So why? What had Danny ever done to Wes that he would risk exposing—no, that he would do everything in his power to expose Danny to all of that? Sure, Danny had messed with him a little, had teased him, but so what? He'd never done anything to Wes that put him at risk of being dissected. What had Danny done to deserve all this?

Danny had feared Wes once, then laughed at him, then vaguely disliked him, but now Danny had grown to actually hate the guy. He resented Wes for continuing his potentially deadly efforts against Danny as the stakes rose ever higher.

Then the unthinkable happened. The G.I.W caught up to Phantom, shot him out of the sky. Danny took two shots to the back, one to the side, and one to the leg before was able to give them the slip by turning intangible and traveling underground.

It was spring break. Sam's family had dragged her into some fancy retreat that they wouldn't let her worm her way out of. Jazz was touring out-of-state colleges with their mom, and they wouldn't be back until the following afternoon. Tucker had gone to his family reunion. Danny had assured them that he would be okay. He'd promised he'd be careful.

And now he was bleeding out. Ectoplasm and flecks of blood soaked his jumpsuit, and he was sure he'd broken several bones when he'd fallen out of the sky and hit the ground hard. He couldn't go home, not in this condition. The house's ghost defenses would finish him off in an instant. He could go to his friend's places, but there would be no one there to help him, and he couldn't properly treat the wounds on his back by himself. He needed help. He needed someone who knew, who wouldn't hand him over to his parents or the Guys in White.

And he needed them fast because he could tell he was about to pass out, and he couldn't risk someone finding him unconscious and calling the G.I.W. on him. There was only one option available to him. Reluctantly, he flew west, huge drips of ectoplasm falling rapidly from his open wounds, splattering on the street below. The ecto-blasts had singed his skin too badly, preventing him from healing as fast as he normally did. The edges of his vision started to blacken as he flew sluggishly, awkwardly through the air, barely avoiding another anti-ghost patrol.

Finally, he reached his destination.

His only chance.

He landed heavily on the fire escape with a loud clang. The second his feet hit the metal, his knees buckled and he blacked out momentarily, unable to go any further. So there he was, helpless and injured, outside the bedroom window of none other than Wes fucking Weston, desperately hoping he hadn't just made a huge mistake.

Previous | Next

[alarrytale]

Can we talk about tzp? I’m glad to have found your blog since you seem to have the same opinions as I do about this situation (as opposed to the Twitter fans who want to force people not to talk about it lol).

I have to say, I absolutely LOVE that he is gay and married for a very long time. I’m so happy for him. His hubby seems like a cool dude too. They are CUTE! That being said, selfishly I wish he’d be more open about it. It bothers me that there’s this elephant in the room now and it’s not being spoken about as if it’s a bad thing! The fans are the worst! A fan met tzp yesterday in London. This fan said he was walking alone with his friend (lol…obv his husband). In the comments someone said “oh how cool! Glad you met him! Was the friend his husband?” And within hours the whole post was deleted. Last weekend he went to Joey Kings wedding with Garrett and a friend of joeys posted a Polaroid of them. Someone reposted it but so many people were commenting “delete this!!” I don’t understand why these fans are intent on keeping this info buried. Instead of just saying “wow that’s great congrats!” and moving on they just want it ignored.

I’m not really sure what my point is with all of this, it just kind of bothers me. Sure he’s entitled to privacy and I imagine he wants to protect his hubby since he’s not a public figure. I respect that. But trying to come off as straight feels a bit problematic. And fans saying he’s been outed is just ridiculous. Apparently he was very out before kissing booth and at that point deleted things and took his ring off. Which makes me sooo sad. But he did post his man several times since then. Just not a whole lot like before. I noticed he hasn’t posted him at all since the movie came out and he’s blown up. It’ll be interesting to see what he does now. He hasn’t deleted him off his ig so that’s good. They did, however, delete the video that people dug up of tay using the husband’s last name. Not sure what to make of that. Anyway I don’t think he needs to do anything or announce anything. But I wish he would post him more!

By the way it seems literally everyone in his professional life knows. First of all G went to London and hung out with T, Nick and some other cast (there was a picture), the director and a couple of the actors follow G, all the the photogs, fashion people who work with tay follow G, etc. So he’s clearly very out. Just not to fans. But I’m not understanding why I guess…

Would love your thoughts on it!

Hi, anon!

Of course we can talk everything tzp! He looked absolutely gorgeous last night! It's not fair, it looks so effortless! Styled by harry lambert too. He's killing it, both him and nick are. I'm so happy for them!

I'm sort of on the fence here. One one hand (what i'd like to believe) is that they're going for a glass closet. It's the perfect example of what a glass closet would look like. He hasn't really commented on his sexuality, but he's not afraid to be himself (manners and all) and have his husband tag along to events and posting him on ig. He just let things be without denying or confirming a thing.

On the other hand, it seems like they are trying (at least some effort) to make him seem straight (or not married to a man at least), deleting the taylor gerson video, taking off his wedding ring and not coming clean after being out for years before. I don't think this will work very well and for long. Fans and the queer community knows. The evidence is there and easy to find. Deleting things off the internet once people know is impossible.

The fans are guarding his closet for him (as we've also seen fans do for h and l - it's annoying as fuck...). It leads to fan policing, lying and the elephant in the room is growing. If his husband comes with him to events and are seen with him by fans, they're clearly not that set on hiding it. If they're pictured publically together fans and uas should be able to share it. Take cues from them, if they wanted to hide they would.

So since i'm not totally sure what they're going for here (closeting or glass closet) and i'm not clear on tzp's ambition, it's hard to have an opinion on why they are doing what they're doing. Other than the obvious reasons celebs are closeted in Hollywood.

[nancydrewwouldnever]

Hi do you have the soroff on interview with Chris were he speaks about Sandra and salma

I love a morning where I can wake up and piss off Megan. No, Megan, this still exists! Try to wipe it out wherever you can, but it will never wholly disappear. So let's all revel in the absolute unfiltered, no-holds barred bro-ness that is 24 y.o. Chris. (And let's see if anyone else thinks he's talking like a totally single dude in this, when he was supposedly still with Jess Biel at this time. I think those two took a lot of breaks.)

IMPROPER BOSTONIAN, August 3-16, 2005 Issue

CHRIS  EVANS

 BY  JONATHAN  SOROFF 

PHOTOGRAPH  BY  BILL  STREICHER

 Newly minted  movie  star  Chris  Evans,  24,  was  born  in  Boston,  lived  in Framingham,  and  moved  to  Sudbury  when  he  was  12.  After graduating from  Lincoln-Sudbury  High  School,  he  signed  with  an  agent  in  New  York  and  almost  immediately  went  to  Los  Angeles,  where he  was  cast  in  the  Fox  sitcom  Opposite  Sex,  a  summer  replacement  series  about  three  guys  admitted  to  a  formerly  all-girls school.  He also appeared  on  David  E.  Kelley’s Boston  Public,  as  a  disturbed  student who  holds  a  class  hostage  at  gunpoint, and  on  CBS’  The  Fugitive,  as  the  rebellious  son  of  a  local  sheriff.  On film, he  appeared  in  Not  Another  Teen  Movie  and  The Perfect  Score,  and  starred  opposite  Kim Basinger and William  H.  Macy in  Cellular, playing  a  man  who  answers  his  cell  phone to  hear  a  woman  desperately  pleading  with him  to  save  her  from  kidnappers.  Recently, he wrapped  production  on  two films:  Fierce  People,  opposite  Diane  Lane and  Donald  Sutherland,  and  The  Orphan King.  His biggest film to date, Fantastic Four,  is  based  on  the  comic  of  the  same name  and  was  released  last  month.  Evans lives in  Los  Angeles.

 Jonathan  Soroff:  You  started  acting  at  17. What happened  to  spending  your  adolescence lost  and  confused  and  aimless?

 Chris  Evans:  It  was  still  lost  and  confused and  aimless,  it  was  just  in  L.A.  It  really  has been  the  school  of  life.  It  was  great.

JS:  You’re  still  too  young  to  say  that.  All  my friends  agreed  that  you  had  the  hottest  body  in People  magazine’s  “Best  Beach  Bodies," which  we  were  looking  at  this  morning. . .

CE:  Really?  I’ m  a  Serena  Williams  man myself.  Jesus  Christ,  my  God!  She’s just unbelievable.

 JS:  My  friend  Joan  wants  to  know  if  you’ll date  her.

 CE:  Is  she  cute?

 JS:  Yeah.

 CE:  How  old  is  she?

 JS:  Fortysomething.

 CE:  All  right!  She  can  teach  me  some things.

 JS:  So  how  do  you  get  the  washboard  abs?

 CE:  [Laughs.]  They  shade  it  in.

JS:  So  it’s  retouched?

CE:  I’  m  sure  it  is.  I’m  giving  away  all  the secrets.

 JS:  One  role  you  auditioned  for  but  didn’t  get and  really,  really  wanted?

 CE:  Ooooooooh.  I  think  it’s  a  movie  called Jarhead  that’s  coming  out  with  Jake  Gyllenhall  that  Sam  Mendes  directed.  I  really wanted  that  part — not  the  one  Jake  has but  the  one  I  tried  out  for,  and  I  will  just harbor  it  for  ever  and  ever...

 JS:  Jake  Gyllenhall  is  also  one  of  People’s “Best  Beach  Bodies,”  so  Sam  Mendes could’ve  had  two  hotties  in  the  same  movie. OK,  name  three  famous  people from Sudbury.

 CE:  Hmmm.  Famous  people  from  the ’Bury... All  I  know  is  Paula  Poundstone. Who  else  is  there?  Believe  me,  there’s  a picture  of  her  up  at  L.S.  [Lincoln-Sudbury High  School],  so  I’d  know  if  there  were  any others.

 JS:  Best  thing  about  Sudbury  ?

 CE:  Oh,  man.  What’s  not  to  love  about Sudbury?  It’s  relatively  cliche,  it’s  your stereotypical,  standard  bedroom  community,  right  out  of  the  movies,  but  that’s what  makes  it  so  amazing.

 JS:  In  Fantastic  Four,  you  play  the  Torch. Does  that  mean  you’re  a  flamer?

 CE:  That  was  a  good  one!  That’s  the  first time  I’ve  heard  that!  That  was  real  smart. You  should  write  that  in  the  interview!

JS: I intend  to!  Which  parts  of  your  suit  did they  have  to  pad  out?

 CE:  Meaning  for  muscles?

 JS: I don’t  know.  You  tell  me,  Chris.

 CE:  They  padded  everything.  We  all  wore muscle  suits.  All  of  us,  except  for  [Jessica] Alba,  ’cause,  y’know...

 JS:  Her  shit  is  tight!  Another  “Best  Beach Bodies”  winner.  I’ll  bet  she  could  kick  your ass.

 CE:  Without  a  doubt.  But  anyway,  with  all the  padding,  the  codpiece  was  the  thing that  stood  out.

 JS:  Did  you  enjoy  wearing  tights?

 CE:  Y’know,  I  think  I’ve  worn  tights  my whole  life  doing  plays.  I  just  got  paid  a  lot more  to  do  it  this  time  around.

 JS:  How  long  did  it  take  to  get  into  costume every  day?

 CE:  It  was  a  bitch,  but  I’ve  heard  of  worse. Maybe  an  hour.  The  muscle  suit  is  a  solo job.  You  do  that  on  your  own,  with  a  big bottle  of  baby  powder  and  some  frustration.  Then  once  that’s  on,  two  or  three wardrobe  people  come  in  and  squeeze  this blue  aqua  suit  on  you  that’s  just  impossible to  get  on.

JS:  Sounds  miserable .  So  by  the  end  of  every day,  had  you  lost  like  10  pounds?

 CE:  We  definitely  did,  but  we  were  working  with  a  trainer,  so  even  if  we  trimmed down  and  weren’t  eating  enough  on  set, we’d  wrap  and  go  right  to  the  gym.

 JS:  Sounds  like  Hell.  On  a  different  subject, namely  Cellular,  what  advice  do  you  have for  someone  who  gets  a  call  on  their  cell  phone from  a  damsel  in  distress?

 CE:  Well,  hopefully  there  are  cameras rolling,  because  otherwise  it  won’t  be  a good  movie.  Other  than  that,  I  don’t  know.

 JS:  If  you  had  to  save  anyone  in  that situation,  who  would  it  be  and  why?

 CE:  Oh,  I  wish  it  would  be  Sandra  Bullock. I  wish  there  was  some  way  I  could  save  her from  something.  Isn’t  that  crazy?  I  remember  being  in  seventh  grade  and  seeing  her in  Speed,  and  just  being  like,  “That’s  it. She’s  the  one.”  She’s  a  f—  ing  goddess.  You should  have  seen  the  poster  of  her  I  had  on my  bedroom  ceiling  growing  up — this  massive,  massive  poster  of  her  in,  like,  a  bra.

 JS:  It  was  on  the  ceiling?  That  sort  of  begs  a certain  question. .

CE:  [Laughs.]  C’mon.  My  mother’s  gonna read  this  interview.

JS:  So  what  was  your  favorite  comic  book  as a  kid?

CE:  Aren’t  comic  books  for  geeks?  Just  kidding!  I  have  to  go  to  conventions,  and they’ll  string  me  up.  The  truth  is,  after  getting  the  part  and  going  out  and  buying every  comic  book  I  could  get  my  hands  on, I  came  to  appreciate  them.  The  stories  and dialogue  are  complex.  You’ve  got  eight-syllable  words, supposedly  for  little  kids.  The art  is  amazing.  So  I  think  they  actually  are educational.  If  my  kids  want  to  read  them, I’ll  say,  “Go  ahead.”

 JS:  If  you  could  have  one  superpower,  what would  it  be  and  why?

 CE:  To  fly.  Hands  down.  No  question.

 JS:  One  superpower  or  extraordinary  ability that  you  actually  do  have?

 CE:  [Laughs.]  See,  again,  this  is  something my  mother  will  read,  so  I  can’t  really  answer  that.

 JS:  I  think  you  just  did.  So  who  was  your superhero  crush  growing  up?

 CE:  Man,  that’s  a  good  question.  What other  superhero  girls  are  there?

 JS:  Wonder  Woman  was  a  big  one.. .

CE:  Nah.  That’s  a  cliche.  C’mon,  I gotta think.  There  must  be  someone  good  out there.

 JS:  I  personally  had  the  hots  for  Aquaman.

 CE:  [Laughs.]  Does  Jessica  Rabbit  count? If  so,  that’s  it.  She  goes  above  Sandra  Bullock,  just  so  Sandy  knows.  In  case  she reads  this,  just  to  take  that  feather  outta her  cap.

 JS:  Best  actor  you  ever  worked  with?

 CE:  Bill  [William  H.]  Macy.  Not  even a question.  The  guy’s  just. .  .he’s  unstoppable,

 JS:  Actor  you’d  most  like  to  do  a  love  scene with ?

 CE:  I’ll  say  Salma  Hayek.  Sandy’s  more  the one  you  settle  down  with,  set  up  shop  with, take  home  to  your  mother.  But  Salma’s  the one  you  yell,  “Action!”  and  just  go  to town.

 JS:  I  read  in  the  Weekly  World  News  that there’s  a  tribe  in  Africa  that  worships  Salma Hayek’s  breasts.

 CE:  [Laughs.]  I  believe  that.

 JS:  Your  show  Opposite  Sex.  Was  that basically  a  bad  remake  of  Bosom  Buddies?

CE:  Whatever  it  was,  it  was  a  bad  original of  something.  The  bottom  line  is  it  was bad.  We’ll  leave  it  at  that.

JS:  Speaking  of  which:  Not  Another  Teen Movie .  Is  that  going  to  come  back  someday to  haunt  you?

 CE:  Oh,  man,  I  don’t  think  I  did  anything too  terrible.  Did  you  hear  that  great  line from  Entourage :  “Before  Tom  Cruise  did Fourth  of  July,  he  did  Top  Gun.  Before  Tom Hanks  was  Forrest  Gump,  he  fucked  a  fish.” So  in  my  case,  I  had  a  banana  in  my  ass. What  are  you  gonna  do?

 JS:  I  never  saw  that  movie. 

CE:  Neither  has  my  Grandma,  and  I’m hoping  to  keep  it  that  way.

 JS:  Diane  Lane .  Most  beautiful  woman you’ve  ever  seen?

CE:  She  is  f—ing  gorgeous.

 JS:  Who  would  win  in  a  Jell-O  wrestling contest:  Diane  Lane  or  Kim  Basinger ?

 CE:  Ooooh,  Diane.  She’s  got  it.

 JS:  You've  got  a  thing  for  older  women,  don’t you?

 CE:  Well,  y’know,  I’m  a  student.  I  wanna learn.

 JS:  Last  question.  When  you  make  the  cover of  Vanity  Fair,  what  do  you  think  you’ll  be  I wearing?

 CE:  I  think  I’m  gonna  go  for  the  body paint  thing,  like  Demi  Moore.

[splathousefiction]

Thinking casually this evening about the hyper-connectivity of The Modern Internet and how it's broiling ever closer towards overt puritanical fascism because a single evangelical group (Exodus Cry) is strong-arming payment processors, and randomly remembered bathroom wall graffiti.

Always anonymous, it was an effervescent and disgusting way to shout into the void. You had "Jesus Saves" next to public contact information of queers. You had slurs and ongoing arguments that lasted until they were literally buffed out of the steel panels or painted over. Depending on the locale, the walls would be thick with the words of people long dead. Carved into the wood, granting them a fleeting immortality in a vacuum. Coated in piss, grime and shit, but still there after all this time.

Long after the words themselves had been wrote over, blacked out, buffed out, coated and pissed on. Something of those people remained. If you took the effort, if you peeled back the swastikas and Sherman Williams, something was writ that said "I was here, I existed, I was real. Remember me, please god".

And.

I don't remember the last time I saw that kind of graffiti.

I don't remember the last time I was in a truck stop and I saw "ON THIS DATE IN HISTORY, JOHN DOE SUCKED MY COCK RIGHT HERE". I don't remember the last time I saw poetry, pictures, art, stickers, arguments so trivial, insults so fucking obtuse in nature that you had to be there, man. Every time I stop for a piss or shit in public now, it's all clean. The walls are bare. They didn't just patch the gloryholes, they replaced the entire fucking wall.

The world has grown sterile and strange and persistent, an entirely liminal space with a corporate logo sign over the door when you walk inside. FFS, the doors don't even chime anymore. And used to, you could at least avoid this gross, brutalist corporatizing by escaping online. You had escape hatches into the unfiltered insanity and beauty of human nature so long as you had a modem.

Maybe the art sucked, maybe the ramblings were incoherent. Maybe it was someone just calling me a [Litany Of Slurs here] for having a different opinion. But in the filth and grime and shit and piss of the world, I was still able to feel something. I could be traumatized and laugh my head off and cry my eyes out in the course of an afternoon.

I had a choice.

We had a choice.

But gone is the bathroom graffiti. Gone is the reality of choice, and in it's place is a convincing funhouse mirror of curation. The paths towards learning new things, being exposed to new ideas and concepts and ways of life have been made clean, clean as those steel walls between the toilets. They put guard rails up so you don't accidently hurt yourself on enlightenment and damnation. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, et al.

It's not just us freaks, geeks and faggots either. That's the really depressing part. The internet has become so grossly corporatized that life saving resources, educational opportunities and more are now being blocked in schools, public libraries and sometimes by demand of the state. You can't do research, you can't find new art, new music, new ideas without a fucking VPN anymore just to access legitimate and legal resources.

And for what? To what end? So some corporate entity can have a 5% increase in earnings that quarter?

Evil isn't always some dude with a cape and a mask cackling. It's not always some elderly senator begging for us to bomb more people. Sometimes, evil is a slow poison that rips the soul out of something. Sure, what's left still walks and talks and smiles, but it's off, man. And so it will limp along until it's violently fish hooked into the Akira-like fleshmass of some corporate interest.

Denying the grime, piss and shit of human existence, denying us a chance to experience the ugly, the mundane, the horrific and the divine in equal measure is to deny us an inherent path towards understanding ourselves. Safely curated corporate spaces don't beget curiosity and questions-it holds a pillow over both of them in their cribs, applying pressure until they stop flailing. Then it tries to sell you the pillow at a discount.

It takes the multi-faceted splendor of the human experience, and shoves it in a sterile room with other similarly-minded people. It bolts the door from the outside, and by the hour begins reducing the oxygen within. It gets sold as some kind of cleanse in one of those instagram ads you see, posted by a robot with art created by AI and at no point in any part of this series of Posting Good Capitalism was a human touch ever involved.

Capitalism kills in meat space, and it's being predictably successful in online spaces as well. They're not just blocking access to DIY HRT and queer history, they're removing any evidence of it from servers. They're seizing your ability to buy drugs (if you want, as a consenting adult). God forbid if you want to look at porn (again, as a consenting adult) anywhere south of the mason-dixon line.

The net isn't just getting cleaned, it's getting made sterile through a slow series of psychological assaults on our very existence.

So before the whole shit-house goes down in flames, a few things.

You gotta keep being openly, loudly fucking weird. If we're going to be subjected to data curation from AI, your posts have to be so openly radioactive they'd make the flesh slip right off an entire advertising department. You gotta make a CEO afraid you're gonna shit on his desk and piss all over his paper work. Who cares if you get bullied or people think you're cringe. Fuck, at least you'll be you. At least you'll be authentic. At least you'll be fucking human and feel something.

And.

If worse comes to worse.

And you find these words somehow, some way, buried beneath the off-white eggshell paint, carved right into the sheetrock above that freshly-cleaned porcelain.

we were here, we existed, we were real. Remember us, please god