#things will get better! and if they’re not live begin them out of spite

[mymelodyisme]

Hello again hon it's me the christmas anon, I hope your doing well and your feeling okay, I saw your gum and tooth post and hope that's not anything serious you know? As for me I'm doing alright....theses last two days has been heavy on my mind but I think sooner or later I'll be okay.

*leans over and kisses your head*

Better be taking good care of yourself too lol

-❄️☕️

Hey hon!!!! 🥳 I’m doing as well as I usually do. I 🥺 have a blister or something on the gum that connects the teeth to the chin. You know that little spot directly at the front center of your mouth that feels like a thin web yeah it’s tucked there and eating is a nightmare 😭 if it doesn’t go away soon I mean I’m not gonna do anything special I have to just wait till my dental appointment. So boooooo but at least I’ll be okay eventually, as will you!!! Life is like a tooth infection, you ache, and you feel it everywhere, but then you consume a nice little pill and it’ll make you feel better. 🤔 hmm that’s a horrible analogy.

But no, actually I do hope you’re okay 🥺♥️🩷 life can suuuuuuck and days can be awful and heck even a week or more can be stressful a time but what’s cool about being alive is that??? It doesn’t have to be so bad! You can be nice to yourself! You can surround yourself with people who are nice to you!!! And you can just say fuck it!!!! And walks outside and make it different. Running away to disappear into the woods dropping all socials and becoming some towns local cryptid is a perfectly viable option. I think I’d like to live in the woods as a witch but I’m 😭 a BIG baby when it comes to bugs. I wouldn’t survive in the wilderness for even an hour. I’m a delicate plastic flower. But no really, I say for the third time, you’ll be okay eventually. When I think about life I think back to how when I was little girl playing games like Homer Simpson Hit and Run. I always wanted to walk around the map and enter every building. And I knew that wasn’t possible. There’s nothing in them because why would the developers make that when they don’t have to? Well we’re real!!!

We can enter any building, go to any location, dig into the very ground we stand on and I think that’s kind of cool. There’s so much to life that we don’t think about and maybe sometimes we should be a bit more curious about what’s inside 🥳 treat yourself like a video game building. What can you find inside of yourself that makes you excited to take a peek. Idk!!! I hope that made sense!!!! It’s so happy to see you ♥️🩷

[dollyyun]

DKP 7.4, FINALE (incomplete draft)

note: this is not proofread, so what you're about to read is the finale in its raw form with horrendous typos, grammatical errors and some paragraphs and even dialogues that don't make sense so don't expect much.

also way below are spoilers/details of the unwritten scenes (also in its raw form aka messy af) again i’m sorry if they don’t make any sense. i promise the revamped will be better. do send asks if you have anything to clarify!

wc: 11.9K

Time eventually became a valuable essence you began appreciating more, as well as cultivating your career, your friendships, your familial ties, and most especially your relationship with the guys that continues to blossom, because days turned into weeks, and weeks slipped into months just like how time slipped between your fingers before you could even grasp onto it a little longer.

Just thinking about the journey you sailed throughout those periods has you breaking into a soft grin while the upturned shape of your lips can be felt on his shoulder, prompting him to cast a quick glance down at you with a raised eyebrow. It is as though the past recollections are a memorable playback in your mind with waves of nostalgia descending on you benignly. 

It has been three months since you agreed to and established a polyamorous relationship with the guys, but it certainly was not all sunshine and rainbows ─ not saying that you often had arguments with them or that your relationship was all toxic. In fact, the guys genuinely and solemnly stayed true to their words in regards to treating you better than they did before.

But at the end of the day, they’re humans too, so flaws were inevitable. There were moments when you got into minor disputes with them and felt infuriated by their actions that ticked you off the same way they felt towards yours. However, a clear rule had been established that was deemed important in your relationship: listen and hear each other out before proceeding to the communication stage, followed by any needed consolation.

Those moments were rare, but they happened, and it is cliché to say this, but after every argument or petty dispute, your relationship seemed to improve significantly each time, and you slowly began to understand each other’s flaws and complexities better with open minds. You also acknowledged that not once did they ever raise their voice or hand at you during arguments, even if anger brimmed in their veins, and you appreciated that, just as you began to appreciate every little thing they did.

To the guys, their love for you outweighs anything else, and they treasure you more than you will ever know, which is why their anger would always be short-lived, as all that mattered to them was you running and seeking comfort and home in their arms at the end of the day. All in all, they had been nothing but amazing lovers in spite of their flaws and differences.

Speaking of differences, the dynamic flow in your relationship is oddly smooth, considering that each of them has a primal instinct of possessiveness towards you, but somehow, they make it work, and no schedule is needed when it comes to the fairness of spending time with you individually. Likewise, how being in a relationship with four guys didn’t feel as awkward to you as it was in the very beginning.

Plus, your friends in Milan were informed of your new relationship status, and they were more than accepting that you’re a taken woman. Initially, you did have some lingering worries about your friend’s differing opinions despite being accepting, but they treated you just the same, only putting a little more distance now with Eunwoo and Wooseok. The two older guys have known and seen how possessive your boyfriends could get, and so they respected your boyfriends enough to establish more boundaries between you and them. But to you, the two men probably wanted to save their hide from your lovers, who are more than capable of doing any form of harm.

As for Jennifer, she still doesn't particularly like your boyfriends, but after seeing how evidently happier you are compared to the years she spent with you, she couldn’t deny that your being in a relationship with them was right and meant to be. Of course, she gave a strict warning to your boyfriends, albeit they didn’t feel threatened by her, about breaking your heart again and taking good care of you on the day she, along with her father and your boyfriends, helped you in moving out.

Moving out of your apartment, especially when it was Jennifer’s father who generously gifted your once-humble abode to you, was honestly a challenging decision because even though you were totally psyched about living with your boyfriends, your apartment held both bittersweet memories of both hardships and ease.

As for Jennifer’s father, aka Mr. Huh, his reaction was not what you expected, albeit he looked a tad astounded after he had been told of your polyamorous relationship. Since he took you under his wing for quite a period of time and regarded you like his second daughter, it was natural for you to feel obliged to formally introduce your boyfriends to him, and you couldn’t lie about how nervous you were for them because Mr. Huh is an austere man who is fiercely protective towards his loved ones and has high standards, but much to your surprise, he seemed accepting and amiable enough to welcome them to the family on behalf of your parents.

Upon watching the interaction between your father figure and the loves of your life, you couldn’t help with the guilt pulling at your heartstrings of making the decision to move out of your apartment as you felt incredibly indebted to Mr. Huh for everything he had done and for supporting you when you had nothing in the beginning of your new journey here. You consulted about living with your boyfriends permanently with both Jennifer and Mr. Huh, and you even apologised to him profusely with tears filling your waterline, but the elder reassured you that he understood your decision and remained a supportive father figure till this day. 

Both Jennifer and Mr. Huh wanted you to worry less about such trivial matters and instead, they genuinely wanted you to be happy with your life and your blooming relationship because you deserved it after going through different stages of tribulation. Just like your boyfriends, your comfort and happiness matter the most to the father-daughter duo.

On the other hand, the guys moved into the mansion two weeks before the actual date of their lease termination over the penthouse that also held memories you made with them. They refused to do it at the very last minute, and plus, it would be convenient for them in advance as they wanted to focus on helping you with packing and moving out after dealing with paperwork and other vital issues at hand.

Moving in was the easiest part, considering you had more help than you would’ve thought, but to unpack your stuff from the boxes was simply gruelling that you had to take a day to take a breather before resuming it on the day after instead. Thankfully, your room had already been meticulously furnished by them, so it lessened your burden as you only needed to unpack and organise your stuff; even so, you felt easily fatigued.

When you first stepped into your designated bedroom, a wave of nostalgia hit you like whiplash in the face while you were in awe at how similar the design and layout were to your old bedroom back at the palace in Seoul ─ the walls were painted in cream that made the room more spacious than it already was, a queen-sized bed with upholstered bedframe that looked like puffs of clouds pressing up against the wall where the windows were nearly situated and by the window sill had ample space for at least four people to sit on top of the white fleecy cushion, your very own personalised makeup vanity corner with a full-length mirror next to it, and a fairly big walk-in closet for your clothes and other storage.

You felt the sincerity and love in their efforts in the way they organised and designed your room, rendering you overwhelmed and tearing up as you felt deeply touched. The guys panicked when a single tear rolled down your cheeks, but you chuckled and reassured them that you were being melodramatic. Of course, you didn’t forget to deliver your utmost gratitude to them even though they insisted that it was nothing and that they were simply doing their job as your lovers.

Frankly, it took you almost a week to finally settle in with the help of the guys, even though they had work obligations to fulfil during the daytime, but that also meant depriving you of being intimate with them. Hence, you took the liberty to organise and create schedules for each of them who would be having individual appointments on different days with you.

The sensation of warm, soft lips pressing into your cheek pulls you out of your reverie as you blink your eyes repeatedly before looking at Jake, who has been observing you with curious eyes. “What got you smiling like that, sweetheart?” He asks with an amused smile, placing his hands on your bare thighs and rubbing them in soothing motions as you are perched comfortably on his lap with your folded legs encasing his outer thighs while he is seated on his computer chair.

“Nothing much. Just thinking about our love-life,” You say lightly with a sheepish smile on your lips, eliciting a breathy yet fond chuckle from him as he leans back into his chair leisurely, his posture no longer as tense as earlier. You take a glance over your shoulder, looking back to see his computer screen that displays data and code that you are unable to decipher while a frown slowly tugs at the corners of your lips. “Are you still not done with work yet?”

You don’t want to sound like a whiny, clingy girlfriend, but this time, impatience is absent from within you. Unfortunately, Jake’s appointment with you clashed with his impromptu work schedule that required him to complete his follow-up tasks. Despite the disappointment, you understood that he must attend and fulfil his work obligation since he’s the head of the security team after all.

So you decided to hang around his personalised office room, but boredom eventually struck you, and your patience was running thin as you watched him in his element. Though it had been half an hour since you settled in his office, you chose to admire his handsomeness that nearly enticed you to pounce on him like an untamed animal to kill the time, but it was ineffective to your boredom. Somehow, Jake was able to sense your dampened, sulky temperament as his work forced him to neglect you for more than it should, and so he beckoned you over to sit on his lap while waiting for him to finish. 

You obviously felt keen and rushed to him, nearly tripping over some wires that had him chuckling at your clumsiness. Your short pleated skirt allowed easy access for you to settle your thighs over the sides of his as you managed to perch on his lap comfortably with your arms around him, to which he didn't mind and instead adjusted his seating position for your arms to wrap comfortably around him.

Every so often, you would rest your chin on top of his broad shoulder and give him tender kisses on his neck in an attempt to ease him whenever you felt his body tense up while listening to the sound of keyboards being pressed behind you. Of course, you did not miss the opportunity to bury your nose into his chest, nuzzling and inhaling his scent that offered you solace with his warmth cocooning you like a safety blanket. Despite being focused on his work, he would smile or press a tender kiss on your crown at your every action that he finds endearing.

Seeing the adorable pout on your kissable lips, Jake chuckles breathily as he grabs your hand before pressing a tender kiss on your knuckle in apology. “I’m finally done with my last task. I’m sorry you had to wait for so long.” He leans back against his chair, his head tilting lightly yet adorably while he gives you a boyish grin that sends familiar flutters to your beating heart. “I’m all yours now, lovely. So what do you want to do?”

“Honestly, I just want to cuddle with you and be close to you like this.” You tell him rather bashfully while his eyes soften as he gazes at you with an unmistakable fondness, knowing that you haven’t gotten the chance to be closely intimate with him alone ever since you settled in the mansion for a week now. “We can also watch some movies after cuddling or make something in the kitchen. Plus, I’m kind of craving s'mores.”

Jake nods his head meaningfully before leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on your lips. “Anything my girl wants,” His voice is laced with affection, and his eyes are gazing at you adoringly, which has you feeling all giddy. “You said you want to cuddle, right? We can cuddle comfortably there.”

Holding your thighs securely, Jake rises from the computer chair as he carries you with ease while you instinctively wrap your arms around him with your legs locking around his waist securely. He proceeds to amble across the other side of his office room. “We can do it like this.” He suggests with a mischievous grin, letting himself fall backward while squeals leave your lips as you hold onto him tight, embracing yourself for the incoming impact before he finally lands on the beanbag with a grunt that sounds huskily low and has you feeling something else straight in your lower stomach.

As the last of your giggles wane, you feel a palpable shift in the air around you, something rather raw yet intimate, before noticing the way Jake gazes at you with intense yet adoring fondness as he strokes the back of your head gently with his fingers playing intermittently at your strands. “I’d love to cuddle with you more than anything, but I feel a little tired, sweetheart. Plus it feels nice to hug you like this. What if I fall asleep?”

“Then sleep. You deserve it. Besides, you’ve been working for over two hours." You reassure him, smiling softly as you see how his eyelids are getting heavier with each passing second. You lift your head up for a bit to place a tender kiss on his lips before murmuring. “I love you, Sim Jaeyun.”

Jake smiles lazily against your lips, and just before you can pull away, he cradles the back of your head with his palm and presses your lips into his, kissing you deeply. The kiss feels sensual yet so innocent, his lips moving with yours tenderly in an unfamiliar dance, but soon enough, you feel something hard poking your lower abdomen that has you gasping softly into the kiss. Just like that, the last traces of sleep dissipate as his kisses begin to feel ravenous in the way his lips devour yours, utterly insatiable.

“Jaeyun,” You utter his name breathlessly as he pulls away from your lips, only to be startled when he switches position before you find yourself leaning on the beanbag with your legs being forcefully spread by his frame, barely giving you time to process the change of once tender atmosphere when he leans down and captures your lips in a kiss that demonstrates his desperation for you.

“Change of plans, sweetheart,” Jake rasps against your parted lips as you pant for air. He gives you no opportunity to recover from the nearly heated makeout session when he moves down to assault your bare neck with his ravenous lips, kissing and sucking your skin that forms a new hickey while your breaths become rapid with breathy moans leaving your lips as you buck up your hips, causing your clit to throb incessantly at the sensation of his hard bulge grinding directly at your clothed cunt.

“Are you not tired?” You manage to ask breathily despite your head spinning with desire for this insatiable man. You feel his hand moving underneath the material of your shorts and panties while your heart pounds harder in anticipation as his fingers nearly reach your throbbing clit.

“I’m feeling rather famished for something else,” His husky voice sounds heavenly in your ear, and there is an unmistakable desire in the cadence of his voice, borderline ravenous, that you feel giddy at the thought of him devouring you until you are reduced to nothing. He pulls away, only to meet your eyes and smirk down at you as he sees the utter want in your pretty eyes. His smirk melts into a soft grin for a fleeting moment, murmuring gently. “I love you more, my sweetheart."

Loving Sim Jaeyun is so easy, and you always find yourself falling in love with him over and over again. He is annoyingly mischievous at times, but he never does anything to upset you and tries his best. Even when you have already known that he is the most volatile with his emotions and his past diagnosis with borderline personality disorder, your love for him only grows as days pass. Although you also trust the other guys, you find it most comfortable to confide in Jake about any concerns, just like how you did back in Seoul.

As for sleeping arrangements, well, you don’t really have one with them, but on some nights Jake abandons his own bed just to head over to yours and sleep with you with his head on your chest as he listens to your steady heartbeat, simply because he wants to make sure your heart remains beating. You know that he fears losing you, and so it has become a habit for him to listen to your heartbeat whenever he lies on top of you, anchoring himself to you to reassure his paranoid mind that you’re real.

After Jake’s appointment is Sunghoon’s, but instead of you taking charge in planning leisure activities for the two of you, Sunghoon takes an insistent initiative, as according to him, he has been planning this surprise for weeks now, even before your settlement in the mansion.

Though Sunghoon is confident that you will love the surprise, he can’t lie about how nervous he feels, facing you as he carefully guides you to the awaited location of the surprise with his hands gripping yours, albeit the surprise is in the mansion itself, while your eyes are wrapped with a blindfold.

“Hoonie, this is so silly.” You remark with chuckles leaving your upturned lips, your eyes unable to see anything but the warmth of his hands providing you comfort, and his firm reassures you that he wouldn’t let you walk into a wall or bump into any object. “Why must I wear a blindfold when I could just close my eyes instead?”

“Because knowing you, you’d attempt to peek,” Sunghoon counters knowingly as a smirk touches his lips at your lips jutting into a pout. He intervenes before you can even make another comeback at him. “Don’t ruin the fun now, princess. Besides, we’re almost there. Just a few more steps.”

Sunghoon stays true to his words, because just a few more steps, you find yourself stopping in your tracks at the same time he does. He slowly lets go of your hands while you are shortly occupied by a fresh scent of something so familiar yet unfamiliar as it infiltrates your senses. “Okay, you can remove your blindfold now.” He instructs gently, his eyes remaining fixed on you.

You do as he told you, your fingers curling around the blindfold before pulling it down. Your eyes immediately adjust to the luminance encompassing the entire place, and after blinking for a few more times, your breath hitches in your throat at the pleasant surprise of his.

“Sunghoon…” You are at a loss for words, and maybe you are being melodramatic, but you can’t deny the whirlwind of emotions within you that threaten to overwhelm you. To others, the surprise is probably not a big deal, but to you? This has to be one of your memorable surprises.

For once, Sunghoon is unable to decipher the emotions swimming in your eyes and your impassive countenance—are you happy? disappointed? Or are you even surprised at all? He has no fucking clue, but the tension in his nerves becomes tenfold as he waits impatiently for your utterance. He desires your approval and satisfaction, and if he fails at pleasing you, it also means that he fails at being your lover.

“I know it’s not the surprise that you expected it to be,” Sunghoon finds himself needing to explain, albeit in a ramble, as the persisting silence from you unnerves him, but little does he know that you are simply occupied in admiring the sight before you. He tries his best to be subtle, but the nervousness in his voice is painfully evident in his ears. “I mean, you’ve already seen the library at the palace in Seoul back then, and the libraries we’ve been to in Milan are monumental, so this is probably nothing much.”

Sunghoon is silenced by your lips slamming into his parted ones with your arms thrown over his neck to pull him down just slightly, and he instantly wraps his arms around your waist, kissing you back with equal fervour, but there is a shared tenderness as your lips move against his slowly. Before you can get too carried away, you pull away from his lips, managing a soft, toothy smile at him while he swears he is falling in love with you over and over again. 

“You have no idea how much I love it. Thank you so much for the surprise,” You say with utmost sincerity and gratitude that has his heart swelling. Your eyes soften as you see a rare display of his vulnerability in his eye, prompting you to place another kiss on his lips. “I love you, Park Sunghoon.”

Sunghoon feels like he’s on cloud nine at the irrevocable love and devotion in your beautiful, sparkling eyes as you look at him. All the hours he spent planning and designing the entire place to make it look similar to the one in Seoul, as well as his efforts in working together with the contractors, are all paid off. He would do it again just to make you happy like this.

Sunghoon feels a tug at his wrist before looking down at your hand. “Explore the library with me.” You say in a demand that has him breaking into chuckles before letting you navigate the library on your own with your fingers intertwined.

Even though the mansion’s library is not as monumental as the one in Seoul, it still looks beautiful and royally elegant with its interior design and opulence. It makes you feel like you’re a real princess with your very own royal library. So how can you not love his surprise and him? 

No matter how tough and callous his demeanour is, you have always known that he is a softie at heart as you observe his every nuance before noticing the tip of his ears turning red, eliciting soft chuckles from you. The fact that Park Sunghoon, who you once knew, was never a man of romance and gifts, gifted you a place where you can explore different genres of fiction books that are filled to the brim on each shelf and read to your heart’s content is more romantic than he thinks.

Now, when it comes to Jay’s, you lack ideas of what to do and how you intend to spend the entire day with him, but fortunately for you, Jay loves to take charge and to be the one who plans your dates, not wanting his angel baby to think and worry incessantly. Apart from spoiling you with gifts, planning dates is part of his love language too.

Initially, you assume that he will be bringing you out to a more fancy date, but when he tells you to dress up in proper safety gear, you have a strong inkling that he will be bringing you out to a ride somewhere, and so you do as he tells you, donning black jeans and a leather jacket over your tight-fitting tee. 

The next thing you know, you are perched behind him on his motorbike with your arms wrapped around him for security as he speeds on the broad road where there are towering boulevard trees on each side of the road. 

You have no idea where Jay intends to bring you, but you trust him and his plans. Besides, you don’t mind riding all the way till night as you get to be this close with him, and so you enjoy this much-needed closeness with your arms hugging him tight enough that has him smiling behind the dark-tinted visor of his helmet. Turns out, the date not only includes bringing you out for a ride, but also exploring a street where you have never been as well as dining at a restaurant for lunch and trying out delectable pastries.

After the whole food adventure, Jay resumes bringing you for a ride with a fixed destination he intends to head to, and soon enough, you find yourselves entering a nearly empty yet broad parking lot with the beautiful orange hues of the impending sunset as a backdrop.

“So what are you planning on doing, exactly?” You ask with keen curiosity as you remain seated on his bike, your eyes following his movement and watching him as he presses the record button on his phone screen that is set up in a tripod stand, which he retrieved from your thigh bag.

Jay pushes up his visor to meet your eyes, and you see the way his eyes soften amidst the optimism. “I had this idea for a while now, and I’ve decided to capture moments of us on camera often from now on, whether they’re silly ones or not,” Just by the shape of his eyes alone, you can tell that he is smiling. “Because I want to show them to our child in the future; at least the glimpses of our love and dynamic.”

Your heart beats in a cadence that sounds symphonic in your ears while your eyes widen slightly at his statement. “Jay….” Your voice trembles with emotions with tears prickling in the corner of your eyes before you blink them away. You already know that he has the intention of marrying you one day, but to hear the two words of ‘Our child’ from his mouth hits you in the gut in a good way.

Jay’s chuckles through your helmet’s intercom send you butterflies all over as he extends his hand to you. “Come here, angel. We should say hello to our baby.” He beckons you over, and you proceed to dismount his motorbike before gravitating towards him and placing your hand on his, only to be startled when he swiftly pulls you in for a back hug and faces his recording phone. “Hi, baby. This is your parents.”

You can’t help but let out a laugh at how awkward the introduction was. “That’s not how you're supposed to do it, babe,” You tell him in between chuckles as you look at him with crescent-shaped eyes while he narrows his eyes in return. You redirect your focus on the camera and wave your hand at it. “Hi baby! This is Mummy!" You add a little yet dramatic flair to your introduction before gesturing your hand to Jay behind you. “And this is Daddy! We can’t wait to welcome you and hold you in our arms one day!”

Soon enough, the flow feels natural as you and Jay continue to give content to the recording camera—yapping off, teasing, and chasing after each other around the parking lot that is within the camera frame, and just being yourselves around one another without caring that you two may look like idiots in public, but at least no one is around. Plus, you get to see a new playful side of Jay.

After another round of chase, the two of you return nearer to the tripod stand while you pant lightly from all the running and laughing. Jay faces you, and as though you understand his telepathic message, you step a little closer before throwing your arms around his neck at the same time he hoists you up, prompting your legs to lock around his waist. 

You are too caught up in the moment to notice that the timestamp nearly reaches fifty minutes with a rare, vulnerable intimacy wrapping around you and him as he gazes fondly into your eyes. “I love you, Y/N Kang.” He says, his voice sounding deeper and slightly muffled, and you initiate the helmet kiss in return before breaking into fits of giggles. Just like that, the two of you end off the first content that will be saved in a folder for your child in the near future.

Finally, the long-awaited day to spend alone time with Heeseung beckons, and it starts off with you dragging him to the newly furnished arcade room that has been ready to use since two days ago. Since the other guys are also out of the household, you plan to spend the entire day playing with him to your heart’s content.

You are not a fan of arcade games, really, but you can’t deny the thrilling rush of competitiveness as you challenge Heeseug in a race where the two of you are now at the motorcycle racing simulator. But just like the previous games, you can see how he deliberately loses against you, as though he is letting you win when you know it yourself that Lee Heeseung hates losing.

You have no idea whether to be annoyed at him for letting you win so easily or not, especially whenever he innocently shrugs his shoulders or grins boyishly at your accusatory glares, but the undeniable flutters you feel in your chest are all you need to know that you are falling head over heels for him again.

“I know that you’ve been losing on purpose, but can you please not go easy this time?” You implore him with your fingers intertwined as you stand in front of the two basketball machines.

Heeseung simply smirks at you as he slowly releases your hand. “As you wish, my love. Just don’t sulk when I win.” He acquiesces, and the confidence exuding from him fuses the competitive tension in the air around you as he rolls his shoulders to the back before pressing the start button simultaneously with you.

As soon as the balls drop, you waste no time grabbing one and launching it into the hoop before doing it repeatedly despite missing the net. You can’t help but take a glance at Heeseung, in awe at how he is doing it with ease yet expertly and the fact that the balls he launched managed to swish through the net while maintaining a cool demeanour.

You can’t even be mad that by the time the countdown eventually stops, you have lost against him with a huge difference in the scores, because damn it, your man looks distractingly attractive in his competitive element. Even he has been aware of your eyes on him almost throughout the game.

“You didn’t even try to win, love,” Heeseung chuckles as he grabs you by the waist and pulls you to him, his dark eyes drinking in how you look prettily flustered under the intensity of his gaze. “Was I too handsome for you to find it hard to look away?”

Warmth weaves across your cheeks as you smile bashfully and nod your head in response. His eyes soften with adoration for you, but there is something else present in them, as though he has more to say to you in his mind. A fleeting hesitancy flickers in his gaze before he leans in to place a chaste kiss on your lips while cradling your face with his thumb stroking your cheek tenderly. “Where to next, my love?”

In response, you break into a roguish grin before grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the arcade room. Not too long later, Heeseung finds himself strolling around the outer part of the stupendous mansion with you, his fingers intertwined with yours while he listens to your rambles attentively and gives his remark whenever appropriate. Honestly, he doesn’t mind spending the rest of your day like this, as it is what he needed after not being able to have more time alone with you except sleeping with you in his room at night because over the course of weeks, he had other important matters to deal with.

Soon enough, the two of you are seated on the water fountain ledge, which is situated in the backyard, with you yapping off nonsensically until an abrupt silence from you draws Heeseung’s attention. The loss of your warmth as you slip your hand from his prompts him to look at you, his eyebrow raising as he becomes intrigued at the stark mischief written across your features with a devilish smile on your lips.

“Beloved, what are you doing?” Heeseung asks slowly, his sharp eyes watching you with scrutiny as you remove your sandals before rising from your seat and dipping your bare foot inside the water fountain. Eventually, the lower region of your white dress is completely drenched, with the entirety of you now in the water fountain. “Sweetheart, you’ll get cold─”

In a blink of an eye, Heeseung feels an instant yet abrupt chilling sensation hitting him in the face, but wet before quickly comprehending that you just splashed a handful of water on him, rendering him nearly drenched with his white shirt visibly soaked and his hair wet. 

That was definitely done on impulse, but you meant to do it anyway. You can’t help it with laughter leaving your lips, even if there is a chance he is pissed at your playful antics. You splash water at him again, but he abandons his seat and turns to you with a scowl on his handsome face, and yet the corner of his lips twitches into a menacing smirk.

“You’re so gonna get it, pretty girl,” Heeseung growls out at the same time you let out a squeal, unrelentingly marching towards you as he is now in the same fountain as you, unbothered by the water soaking the untouched part of his clothes. 

Your gleeful shrieks and laughter echoing in the air create a euphonious symphony of pure delight that is both infectious and dear to him as he wholeheartedly entertains you, chasing and splashing water at you the same way you do to him.

“Don’t let me catch you, love,” Heeseung says, stopping midway as the two of you decide to take a moment of respite from the battle in the fountain, standing further apart opposite each other. “Or I’ll devour you like a predator does to its prey.” He grins deviously as he takes steps forward, intensifying the trepidation in you that propels you to jump over the ledge.

The chase prolongs even when the skies are painted in dusk, and you are now running barefoot and trying to elude Heeseung, but the latter seems to be guiding you in an unknown yet intended direction that eventually leads you further away from the backyard. Nevertheless, you play along, because being with Heeseung always seems to summon your inner child to come out.

Something nudges you to turn to the right, and you do, but your pace decreases and your smile falters, feeling mildly confused yet intrigued upon seeing pavement of cemented flagstones that seem to lead you somewhere with the beautiful hedges of greens and flowers on each side. 

The chase with Heeseung has long been forgotten in your mind as you become immensely intrigued as you continue to advance forward, your feet stepping on the cold flagstones while Heeseung follows you from behind quietly yet stealthily with his hands tucked in his pockets, his features softening with unmistakable fondness.

Your face contorts into confusion as you begin to notice glowing radiance that flows faintly through an unbarred entrance with embellishment of elm leaves all over. Your steps hasten, feeling an undeniable sense of keenness at what may await you, and before you know it, the sight before your very eyes knocks the breath out of you. 

Your eyes go wide while your lips go parted, in complete awe at the beauty of this seemingly secret garden that you had no idea existed. The adornment of fairy lights hanging intricately on the towering tree branches above you encompasses this newfound wonderland, making it appear as though you have entered a magical realm. 

As you venture just a little deeper, you begin to notice some child-friendly amenities in some parts of the area: swings that are authentically crafted from slabs of wood for seats and affixed with thick ropes that are tethered to the stout branches, an impressive treehouse that looks sturdy with a scoop-designed slide, a cute playhouse painted in beige, and mini wooden benches.

The rustle from behind you pulls the trance that you are in, drawing your attention to Heeseung, who has been observing you with fond eyes, and you find yourself being rooted to the ground. “Heeseung, what….” You can’t seem to articulate your feelings that are jumbled into words while cacophonous questions clamour in the confines of your mind.

Heeseung briefly assesses your surroundings rather meaningfully as he ambles forward. “It isn’t much yet, but I do have plans on adding more amenities that are safe and fun for our kids in the near future.” He divulges the surprise he has been preparing for a while now.

You remain silent, feeling a whirlwind of emotions within you that threaten to sweep you away, and your heart continues to pound harder against your chest. He meets your eyes, and for the first time, his coolly collected demeanour cracks with the subtle yet sheepish smile unfurling on his lips as he rubs his nape. “I had some help from the guys and a contractor friend of Wooseok to come over to supervise the final condition of the amenities for safety reasons, but I crafted and assembled the swings on my own. Besides, it’s my idea in the first place.”

Your heart swells with so much affection as he takes pride in his hard work in the way he speaks confidently and takes the rightful credit. Just then, something clicks in your mind as you recall. “Is that why it was always so hard to see your face on most days since two weeks ago? Because you were busy planning and working on this beautiful wonderland?” You ask, your voice trembling with emotions.

You can’t lie that you are on the verge of bursting into a torrent of tears even though your waterline is void of tears as you think about how hard he has been working that even on the nights you slept with him, you noticed faint lines of exhaustion on his countenance. It deeply touches the depth of your heart, most especially when he thought of your future kids.

His eyes soften as he notices the way yours seem to glisten yet so beautifully under these fairy lights. “Yes, and it was all worth it for our future kids.” He says softly, his hand cradling your face with his thumb stroking your cheek tenderly. “I know it’s way too early to build a fun sanctuary for our kids, and I’m not even sure if you ever want kids, but that’s okay because this place is for you too. You can come here anytime and whenever.”

“I do want to have kids with you, Hee. More than anything.” Emotions manage to seep through the crack in your voice as you look into his eyes with unconcealing sentiment. You place your hand above his and lean into his touch, not realising a single teardrop manages to escape the corner of your eye as it rolls down your cheek that prompts him to wipe it away with his thumb. “Thank you for your hard work and this beautiful gift for our kids.”

Heeseung smiles in return before dipping his head and pressing his lips into yours, kissing you slowly with a careful gentleness, but you can feel his love pouring into the kiss as you reciprocate. You don’t even complain when the kiss lasts shortly as he pulls away first before resting his forehead against yours, basking in the serenity and tender intimacy that wraps around you.

“I love you, Y/N Kang,” He whispers affectionately before placing a kiss on your forehead. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened in my life.”

“I love you too, Hee,” You reciprocate, your eyes roaming around his chiselled yet beautiful features and burning them into your memory. You grab his hand and tug at it, a silent permission of wanting him to follow you around to explore. “Can we─”

“Of course, we can.” Heeseung says with a warm smile before you proceed to drag him with you, your pace and demeanour displaying exuberance. 

You begin your exploration in every part of the beautiful sanctuary with unbridled enthusiasm while Heeseung only watches and chuckles fondly at you, but he is attentive enough to prevent you from potentially falling or hurting yourself when you climb up the treehouse to explore and try out the slide or when he pushes you as you sit on the swing. You even carve out your initials on the tree trunk just below the treehouse with him, as well as the date, wanting it to be a permanent engraving for your future kids to see.

“Thank you for today.” You break the comfortable silence as you are now lying on the ground with him, facing the starry night with your head resting on his arm and attached to his side, seeking each other’s body warmth despite your still drenched clothes. You adjust your position, turning your body sideways to face him with your arm hugging him comfortably as if he’s your bolster. “I love everything that you have done, and…”

Your words become mushy as exhaustion begins to dawn on you, eliciting a chuckle from him, seeing the way your eyelids are struggling to stay open. “You can go to sleep, my love.” He murmurs, stroking your cheek gently as you drift off to your dreamland. It isn’t long until Heeseung is tempted as well, facing you with his eyes closed and his arms cocooning you, sleeping under the glinting stars.

But of course, just when you think that everything is all well and good, you receive texts from your best friends in Seoul to remind you of the monthly FaceTime tonight, and that is when realisation hits you that they haven’t been informed of your established relationship yet. You also doubt that Jennifer told them because if she did, the other two would have already bombarded your notifications.

Though you have no reason to fret over the outcome of revealing your relationship to Wonyoung and Karina since they were understanding and giving you advice a few months back when they were here, still, you can’t help with your overthinking mind of the worst possible outcome, worrying that they may not be as accepting as Jennifer.

“Hey, babes,” You greet your beautiful best friends right after they accept your call. You decide to settle in the living room, seated on the floor with your back rested against the large sectional sofa and your laptop on the coffee table while the guys are nowhere to be seen.

You try your best not to sound nervous, mustering a small smile at your best friends on your laptop screen. Jennifer must have noticed it first in the way she looks at you with knowing eyes while her pink lips twitch into a faint smirk.

Just when you intend to give her a glare, you are interrupted by Karina, her tone sounding astonished. “Girl, is that a whole new living room I see in your background? It looks massive.” 

“Since when did you move into a new apartment?” Wonyoung asks with genuine curiosity, her eyes narrowing at you with the slightest suspicion that has you swallowing your spit hard.

“The thing is, I’m living with the guys now, and it’s permanent,” You go straight to the point without beating around the bush as you want to get this over with. You curl your fingers into fists to prevent them from trembling while your resolve is teetering in the way your pupils shake, feeling unnerved by their unreadable expressions except Jennifer’s. “Which also means that I’m in a relationship with them. Yes, the four of them all at once. We’ve been together for three months or so.”

There is a pregnant pause with a rather painful silence emanating from them, as though they need some time to process this revelation, and you wince visibly, only to be taken by surprise at the positive change in their countenance.

“Details, Y/N! You know we love details, especially the juicy ones!” Karina demands in a whine, her sharp eyes displaying genuine interest that has your frayed nerves allayed. “There is absolutely no way you’re getting away without telling us how it happened.”

You groan out half-playfully as you rub your face, because as much as you want to, it feels repetitive to let them know what you told Jennifer back then and the fact that you have to rack through your memory. “It’s a long story.” 

“Summarise it for us, then.” Wonyoung is just as insistent as Karina, their eyes displaying impatience and expectation, and you know that you cannot refuse them, and so you begin to divulge to them, albeit keeping some details concealed.

“I mean, if you are happy with them, then we’re fine with it,” Wonyoung gives her conclusion as soon as you finish, and while you are more than glad that they’re accepting, you become easily distracted by four familiar yet handsome figures sauntering into the living room. “But tell your boyfriends that if they ever hurt you again, we’ll hunt them down and chop off their dicks.”

“Wony!” You exclaim, appalled and in disbelief by her warning that is uttered calmly while her face displays no remorse for the vulgarity that left her mouth, but more importantly, the guys heard her loud and clear, as evident in the look on their faces.

“Yeah, you heard that, guys?” Karina adds fuel to the fire as she quickly grasps the embarrassment on your face that your lovers are in the same room as you. “You’ll have us to deal with again if you dare to hurt our precious Y/N.”

“I can assure you that they wouldn’t do anything to hurt me,” You affirm assertively despite the warm temperature persisting in your cheeks as you ignore their amusing gaze on your face. “I’m sorry to cut our FaceTime short, but I’ll catch up with you girls in our next session. Love you.”

After bidding your goodbyes, you close your laptop, still refusing to meet their eyes. “Well, that certainly was something.” Jay speaks up, and you can’t resist looking at him just because of the attractive drawl in his voice. Your cheeks flush even more as he smirks at you, leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. 

“Sorry, they’re still protective over me,” You tell them sheepishly as you rise from the floor and gravitate towards them, unable to resist the magnetic pull before Sunghoon grasps the first opportunity to hold you in his possession. You look up at him with your arms around his body, your lips forming into a small pout. “But I swear they won’t chop off your dicks. I’ll make sure of that.”

“Of course, you’ll make sure of that, or else we’ll be experiencing another brat moment of you being deprived of our dicks.” Jake remarks with a chuckle, his lips adorning a devilish grin that has you groaning out in embarrassment before you bury your face into Sunghoon’s chest while the rest join in to tease you the same.

“Don’t worry, princess. We’re not in the slightest feeling threatened by them.” Sunghoon chuckles breathily, his hands cradling your face with the sulky pout that remains adorned on your lips to which he can’t resist giving you a smooch. “Besides, why would we feel threatened when we made a promise to always protect and cherish you?”

“I know, Hoonie,” You say softly, your eyes gazing tenderly at him and the others while your heart swells with irrevocable affection and trust. You sigh softly before beaming with a smile, deciding to dismiss the air of melancholy around you. “Anyway, shall we start preparing snacks for our game and movie night?”

With that, Sunghoon whisks you off to the kitchen with Jay trailing behind you while Heeseung and Jake proceed to convert the modular sofa into a reversible sleeper chaise bed that is rather massive to fit six people in for movie night later, and thus your first weekly Friday fun night begins ─ the fun part consists of you preparing snacks and baking last-minute sweet goods with Jay while Sunghoon every so often clings to you and distracts you with kisses, earning him a glare from his best friend.

And so, the remainder of your night is nothing short of bliss, having to spend more quality time with four of your boyfriends at once. You are not even fazed by the fact that you lost four times in a row against time, your laughter being accompanied by their playful banter and finding great joy in being in the presence of the ones who occupied your heart, and before you know it, time flies fast as movie night commences.

The movie that is still playing on the massive television has lost its essence in keeping you captivated as your eyes begin to wander elsewhere. Presently, the five of you are nestled in the sofa with a fleecy duvet shielding your bodies from the cold temperature and pillows supporting the back of your heads, which isn’t necessary for you, considering you are being cocooned in both Jake and Jay’s arms as you are right in the middle, not that you have any complaints.

“This is the happiest I’ve been in months,” You break the comfortable silence, feeling awfully sentimental as tears are wetting in your waterline while a soft smile touches your lips. You look at them, noticing their eyes attentively on you with equal fondness. “I’m glad that you all didn’t give up on me, even when you thought that finding me would be impossible.”

“Well, we have Sunghoon to thank for that,” Jake murmurs, his hand reaching up to cradle your face while Jay soothes you with an affectionate rub on your tummy. 

“Why are you tearing up, my love?” Heeseung asks gently, drawing your attention to him. Just the tenderness in his eyes is enough to make you burst into a rivulet of tears, feeling overwhelmed by their unconditional love, but you hold back the dams.

“I’m just happy,” You manage to utter, your voice trembling with emotions while a tear escapes the corner of your eye. “Thank you for loving me.”

“No, baby, thank you for accepting us back,” Jay insists softly as he grabs your hand and places a kiss on your palm, a gesture of affection that always has your heart flutter.

“You do know that you’re not stuck with us forever, even if you decide to change your mind?” Jake chuckles breathily, pressing a kiss on your temple, but you are no fool to dismiss the darkness that belies his light-hearted tone.

“I would love nothing more,” You say with a smile, baring your heart and soul, which are theirs to cherish forever. “I love you guys.”

“We love you too, princess,” Sunghoon reciprocates, and with a few more words exchanged mindlessly, the animation on the bright screen is forgotten and neglected, and soon enough, the five of you have inevitably drifted off to the same dreamland.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

In the serene confines of your room, the gradual evening sunray filters through your window, painting delicate tapestry across the ceiling. Humming a familiar tune, you sift through your wardrobe, your eyes and hands meticulously searching for the dress you had prepared and ironed three days in advance.

A delicate smile touches your lips as soon as you find the dress before grabbing it with your fingers, careful enough not to crease the ironed fabric. After slipping on the dress, you exit your wardrobe, and the way you move with grace has got a certain someone hypnotised as he stands by the doorway before deciding to watch you in a silent admiration, leaning sideways against the frame with his hands tucked in his pockets.

But you are too preoccupied to notice his presence as you are seated in front of the vanity mirror to apply the appropriate make-up that is not too glamorous but enough to enhance your features. Completing the touch with a cherry red lip tint and your favourite perfume, you move over to the full-length mirror to marvel at the final transformation with a small satisfied smile on your lips.

The black dress holds a blend of elegance and allure as it accentuates your contours perfectly while the low-cut flaunts your cleavage with the familiar platinum ring necklace resting delicately below your clavicle. You decide to let loose your natural locks as they cascade down your shoulders. Just when you think you are ready, you forgot about a pair of earrings that Jay gifted you last night.

The whole process of beautifying yourself probably took an hour, but it is a necessity since tonight is a little special. Unfortunately, it is not a date night, but rather, Jay’s company is hosting a private event tonight, and the rest of your boyfriends, including you, are part of the exclusive guests ─ of course, having been personally invited by Jay himself.

Initially, you refused to go even after being relentlessly coaxed by your boyfriends, but you couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in Jay’s eyes any longer, and so you begrudgingly agreed. Your intention is to be a good girlfriend and moral support to your boyfriend. Plus there will be free food and drinks.

As you examine yourself for another time, your eyes trail to the figure decked out in a black blouse with the sleeves rolled up to his veiny arms that also display his tattoos, who has been standing and watching you by the doorway with dark, attentive eyes.

“Jay, you scared me.” You chuckle nervously as your heart continues to beat erratically, watching him in the mirror as he ambles towards you with his dark eyes looking as though they are about to devour you whole. “How long have you been watching me?”

“For a while now,” Jay admits nonchalantly, his dark eyes scanning you from head to toe appreciatively with a tinge of fondness, but there is an unmistakable lust swirling in them, affecting you right in the core. “You got me fully mesmerised, baby.” 

Your breath hitches in your throat as soon as Jay stops directly behind you, leaving no space in between your bodies as his warmth melds with yours. You watch him silently in the mirror, his hands abandoning your hips to wrap around your waist, which feels like a sensual hug in the way his body is feeling you up and his dark eyes flicker to meet yours in the mirror.

“You’re in the mood,” You point out rather breathlessly, feeling dizzy at the intoxicating fuse of his strong cologne and his body heat. With his lips pressing down on your shoulder, you can’t help but melt against him as you tilt your neck to allow more easy access for him to assault you with sensual kisses. 

“Babygirl, I’m always in the mood whenever I’m around you. How can I not be when you look truly exquisite?” He says lowly, his husky voice igniting the heat pooling in your core dangerously and his warm breath hitting your skin. He presses one last kiss on the sensitive spot on your neck, eliciting a mewl from you before he returns his dark gaze to the mirror with a suggestive smirk playing on his lips. “You have no idea how badly I need to ruin you now.”

“Jay, we can’t─” You gasp softly at the sensation of his prominent bulge pressing into your bums that intensifies the heat pooling in your core. Your pulse drums in your ears while your eyes follow his tattooed hand sliding down your tummy, heading straight for your throbbing heat. “You can have me after the event or tomorrow. Just not now, please?” “I don’t think I can wait that much longer, angel baby.” Jay smirks, seeing the emotions in your hooded eyes contradict your words and your staggering breaths as his hand gets closer to the intended journey, but too caught up in the nearly blissful erotica that wraps around you like an intoxicating haze, you fail to realise another figure entering your room.

“So this is what the two of you have been doing,” Sunghoon accuses with a disbelieving scoff, and yet amusement is evident in his tone, prompting you to switch your position to view both of your dashing lovers better. “Might want to reconsider fucking around. Our chauffeur is arriving anytime soon now, so we better get going─”

The moment Sunghoon lays his eyes on you, he stops dead in his tracks while he feels his throat going dry at the gorgeous sight of you. He quickly recovers himself, clearing his throat. “Damn, princess, you look─” His heart races at a ridiculous speed upon seeing the shyness written all over your beautiful face, and he can’t seem to find a fitting word to describe your divine beauty, utterly speechless.

Despite your shyness, you flutter your curled eyelashes at him in a sly manner. Sunghoon recognises before meeting his eyes that seem to darken with a familiar desire. The corners of your lips curve into a small yet mischievous smile as you fiddle at the fabric of Jay’s collar mindlessly. “I believe that the word you are looking for is beautiful?” You say so slyly, and fuck, Sunghoon feels undeniably turned on by you.

Sunghoon takes two steps forward before extending his hand out to you. “Come here, princess.” He orders, and there is a discernible crack in his voice mid-sentence before he covers up with a cough, but not quick enough as he sees the way you break into a fit of chuckles while Jay watches the entire thing with a smirk.

Sunghoon lets out a frustrating sound between a growl and a gruff, displaying his impatience and annoyance in the way Jay is still teasing him with a smirk on his lips, whereas you seem to join the latter as you take your sweet time in moving towards him and accepting his extended hand.

Sunghoon catches you off guard when he takes a big step forward and wastes no time in grabbing your hand firmly before pulling you into him eagerly while you let out a startled squeal. He dives straight into your neck, unable to stave off the temptation, and places a lingering kiss on your skin. His desire becomes tenfold as your sweet yet exquisite perfume hits his nostril.

You gasp softly as he nips at your skin, and you arch your neck submissively to him on instinct, fluttering your eyes closed at the pleasurable sensation of him kissing and licking your neck. Your clit throbs once again when he presses his body against yours with his arms caging you, making you feel his prominent bulge.

“Maybe we should ditch the private event. I’d rather spend all night buried into you,” Sunghoon nearly growls out his words, his voice gravelly deep, and it feels like he has no intention of letting you go anytime soon.

But thankfully, you still have some rationality left in you. “Sunghoon!” You gasp at his words before attempting to push him away but fail miserably when you melt against his warmth. You sigh softly, leaning your head on his shoulder. “You know we can’t. It’s important for us to be there for Jay.”

Jay shoots his best friend a smug look while the latter rolls his eyes in return. Sunghoon reluctantly pulls away from you, but not before giving you a peck on the lips. He smirks down at you. “If you say so, princess. But the offer still stands even after the event, yeah?”

Before you can retort, another pair of footsteps can be heard outside of your opened door, prompting the three of you to look at the incomer. “Hey, guys. We really need to get going. Our chauffeur has just arrived, and Heeseung is waiting downstairs─” 

Jake pauses abruptly at the same time he barges into your room, and unlike Sunghoon, he continues to walk slowly towards you with his widened eyes fixated on you despite the fact that he is speechless, utterly in awe of your stunning beauty. “Holy fuck, sweetheart?” He says so breathlessly.

“Jaeyun,” You utter his name softly, your lips curving into a smile while your eyes soften at the way his features soften with a familiar sentiment as he examines you with clear appreciation. You feel Sunghoon’s arms loosen around you, as though he is permitting you to go to Jake, and so you naturally gravitate to him.

“My beautiful girl, you never cease to amaze me.” Jake breathes out in awe as soon as you stand in front of him, but he seems to be examining you for another time, as if the woman in his view is indeed a goddess. His Goddess, damn right. The warmth of his palms feels comforting as he cups your cheeks. A chuckle escapes you when his face twists into a playful scowl, but the possessiveness glinting in his eyes is not lost on you. “I’d hate for the others to look at you when you’re dolled up gorgeously like this.”

Jake captures your lips in a kiss, a short-lived one, and yet you can feel his burning desire even after he pulls away, but his lips remain grazing against yours, sending shivers down your spine. “Maybe I should hunt down and kill whoever dared to glance in your way after the private event.” He says softly, and you have no idea whether or not his words were meant to be playful.

“You look handsome, Jaeyun.” You compliment him earnestly as you marvel at his striking handsomeness, decked out in a suit similar to Jay and Sunghoon’s while his hair is gelled to the back with only a few strands falling over his chiselled forehead. The butterflies in your tummy are practically fluttering intensely as you look at your three lovers to appreciate their handsomeness for another time. “You all do.”

Before Jake can go in for another kiss, Jay’s stern voice cuts through the air. “Alright, let’s get going before we have another love fest here.”

“Fuck fest, you mean?” Sunghoon chuckles as the four of you proceed to depart from your room while you walk hand in hand with Jake, his warmth encasing you.

“You’re not entirely wrong, mate,” Jake shoots Sunghoon a mischievous grin, whereas Jay shakes his head, but a small smirk plays at the corner of his lips. Jake looks at you, and this time, you can feel his heated gaze that is burning with insatiable hunger for you as he licks his lips. “Our wife looks delicious enough to be devoured right here and now.”

“I’m not your wife yet, Jaeyun.” You remind him for the umpteenth time with a short huff, and yet it affects you just the same as you feel your cheeks warming rapidly the same way your heart races.

Initially, when they started to refer to you as their wife, every wire in your system went short-circuited, and you had no idea how to react. Sure, the five of you have been heavily involved in a serious discussion about tying the knots with you legally and officially in the near future, and the guys were determined to make it happen, but to you it was too soon for them to be referring to you as their wife and throw the term around so carelessly.

“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re going to be our wife.” Jay adds nonchalantly, draping his arm around your shoulder while you remain hand-locked with Jake. Despite shooting the three men the same glare, you can’t ignore the tension that has been building up ever since they came into your room.

You release a shaky breath as you decide to focus on the view in front of you, but it turns out to be a mistake, because one moment you’re descending the stairs, and then the next, you lock eyes with the only lover who hasn’t seen you until now.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat as you shamelessly examine him from head to toe. The all-black ensemble fits his toned physique perfectly, and his black hair is neatly parted so his forehead can be seen. Your heart swells with love as you see the familiar ring necklace that rests below his clavicle. When your eyes return to meet him, you swear you can feel your womanhood clenching with arousal as you notice the way his eyes darken with palpable desire despite the nonchalance in his demeanour.

His dark eyes continue to greedily drinking you in even as you finally stand in front of him. A soft smirk ghosts on his lips momentarily before he gives you a small smile and extends his hand out to you in a gentlemanly manner. “Shall we, my beloved?” Heeseung asks gently, even waiting patiently as you slowly unclasp your hand from Jake’s to take Heeseung’s, only for him to press a kiss on your knuckles while he maintains eye contact with you. “You look breathtaking, pretty girl.”

“Thank you,” You mumble, feeling utterly diffident as you are now being surrounded by four deadly yet dashing men, even though you have always been surrounded by them 24/7. You hope that your palm is not sweating just yet from all the nervousness as you busily cast Heeseung a small smile. “You look handsome, Hee.”

Heeseung reciprocates with a dashing grin before he begins to assist you on the way to the chauffeur, with the three musketeers following closely behind you rather protectively, as though posing as your bodyguard. Your eyes sparkle with fascination upon seeing the view of the sleek black stretch limousine parked directly outside of the entrance door, waiting for you.

As though the routine is rehearsed, Sunghoon takes the initiative to open the door for you before Heeseung assists you inside, to which you bend down your height slightly as you proceed to walk in. Your lips part open, and your eyes widen at the luxury of the entirety of the interior of the limousine, nearly bumping your head if it weren't for Heeseung’s hand cradling the back of your head before you continue to move further in until you finally settle on the leather seat.

For some reason, you resort to silence as you watch your lovers settling in, hyper aware of the previous tension that has resumed its course in the enclosed space. Your heart hammers harder as soon as Sunghoon sits next to your right while Heeseung is on your left. Not too long after, the limousine begins to accelerate, and the guys proceed to converse on a topic you don’t understand.

But the tension remains, thickening every second that has you finding yourself suffocated. It doesn’t even help that the intoxicating mixture of their strong cologne has your head spinning while you attempt to repress your burning desire in the way you squeeze your thighs together. You bite down on your lip harder, feeling your cunt throbbing with incessant need. Thankfully, you brought your emergency make-up kit so you can reapply your lipstick on your lips again.

However, throughout the ride, you fail to notice that Heeseung has been observing you from time to time, noticing the familiar pattern in your body language, bringing a discreet smirk to his lips. 

“Pretty girl, what’s wrong?” Your heart skips a beat when Heeseung places his hand on your exposed thigh, and despite the gentleness in his tone, you can discern a familiar deception that has you anticipating both with excitement and fear.

It isn’t exactly that you fear them, but with the thick tension hanging in the air and waiting to snap, the enclosed space of the limousine, the intoxication of their cologne, as well as the predatory gazes at your figure, you fear that the immaculate state of the limousine might turn into a sullied mess.

“Nothing,” You answer him, your voice sounding quiet, and yet it sounds loud to their ears, prompting the four men to exchange looks.

“Don’t lie to me, love,” Heeseung squeezes the flesh of your thigh, a warning you recognise, and yet you feel an unwise temptation to display your defiance to him, just a little, because the desire that is throbbing in every part of you desperately implores you to be released. “Tell me, what do you want?” His soft voice carries an undertone of dark sensuality, and you know that his question is an invitation.

“Speak up, princess,” Sunghoon joins in, adding fuel to the fire as he presses his body against yours, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. He grabs you by the chin firmly enough to force you to look at Heeseung in the eyes, and in doing so, allows you to catch the familiar hunger on Jay and Jake’s features as they also wear the same smirk on their lips. “Tell Heeseung exactly what you want. You know what you want, princess.”

It’s so mean, the way they all seem to be tag-teaming you, and how mean Sunghoon sounds, how Heeseung’s dark eyes are penetrating into you as though he is able to read your twisted mind, but if anything, everything seems to turn you on further, throwing you into the abysmal to the point of no return. Subconsciously, you bite down on your lower lip while your eyes become glossy with terrible need, drawing Heeseung’s attention to your bitten lip.

“I need you so bad.” You shamelessly admit with shaky breaths, feeling utterly humiliated by the knowing smirks they collectively wear on their lips, but you don’t give a fuck anymore. You allow your eyes to roam around his body and bite down your lips once more on purpose, knowing that Heeseung hates it when he isn’t the one doing it. “It doesn’t even help that you look hot in a suit.” You purr with an irresistible seduction that they can never resist.

“You heard her. Give what the wife wants, Heeseung,” Jay says loudly, leaning against the leather seat comfortably with his legs spread open while his clasped hands support the back of his head, as if the view in front of him is a show. “Driver, close the partition.”

On cue, the driver heeds Jay’s command, and in doing so, aids the now heated atmosphere with the partition finally closed. The next thing you know, you are being manhandled and immediately find yourself perched on top of Heeseung, causing your dress to hike up way past your thighs.

-from this point onwards would be the smut part but didn’t get to continue </3

unwritten scene 1 (the smut part in the limousine)

unwritten scene 2:

unwritten scene 3(the ending):

[commanderyes]

Hey folks

My head is full of storms right now so thought I’d yell a little before I go back to the aether

Hatred and ignorance triumphed this week. There’s no mincing it. No matter how much some of us pointed, and pleaded, and cried out and shook shoulders, the monsters still won. They’ve won in ways we never thought we’d ever see in our lifetimes, and the skies are only gonna get darker and darker from here on out.

I’ve spent these last days trying to comfort so many of my friends, because they are terrified of what’s to come. Because their livelihoods are at risk. Because their LIVES are at risk.

I’ve had to hear them say they are so close to end it all.

And as someone that doesn’t actually live in America I can’t even begin to describe how helpless I feel. To think that I have no power to do anything but listen and encourage and sometimes throw money at them. And then there’s that feeling in the back of my head that even telling them to not give up is nothing but hollow platitudes, -because- I do not live there. Because I have the luxury to “unplug” from all of this. That it’s not my place to speak about not giving up because it’s not -my- ass on the line

But what else am I supposed to do?

I’ve heard friends say the beliefs that helped them pull forward until now have been shattered. I’ve seen people on the internet swear they’re only gonna care for themselves and their families from now on, and the rest can burn for all they care. And I can’t say I don’t feel where they’re coming from. So many of us want to think people can be better. We want to think humans are fundamentally good. I’ve spent six years making fanfic doodles about why we should keep fighting for a world that over and over refuses to be rescued. And now I find myself walking out during breaks at work and just staring at the sky

Why indeed

Because if we give in, if we decide to stop caring entirely, then their victory over us will be absolute.

Because if we are to brave this ocean of blood and shit all over again we are going to do it together. Cling to everyone in your life that matters, cling to love and kindness, cling to happiness, cling to SPITE if that’s what it takes, and then hold on to it with all your fingers and toes and teeth, because no matter how relentlessly ugly it gets, there are still good things in this world, there are good people willing to care and try, and that is worth waking up every morning for, that is the world that needs you in it.

As others have said before, for every moment where we think “It’s So Over” there eventually comes a “We’re So Back”.

If you’re a woman, or poc, or LGBTQ+, or all at once, if you’re any minority whatsoever, or you’re just someone trying to fight the good fight; it’s going to be terrible out there, and that you have to keep on fighting harder than you’ve ever fought before is the cruelest goddamn thing. But even so, please, you have to try. You have to care. You have to endure. You have to stay strong. You have to love yourself.

Take all the time you need to grieve and rest and lick your wounds, and then get back up and continue the fight. Even if the skies get darker, the sun is still out there. Tomorrow is another day.

You are going to make it through this. You are going to outlive the monsters and see the end. You are going to smile and laugh and love again. You are going to survive this, and you are going to live

You get to live.

[rhondafromhr]

Hey Sims 2 nation, who wants to hear about my super elaborate kinda unhinged AU involving the Grunt, Curious (mostly Vidcund), Smith and Specter (mostly Ophelia) households?? Some of this is inspired by the game and my own playthroughs, some of it kinda diverges, some of it’s stuff that’s plausible for the characters imo but can’t really be replicated in actual gameplay. Also partially inspired by this post. I’ll probably give in to the demons and turn this into a 100k longfic at some point, but for now here’s what I got. It’s not fully fleshed out yet but hope you enjoy! Also hope you see the vision for Vidcund/Buzz, I’ve never seen a single person put them together (understandable, it is very much a crackship) but I think they have the potential for SUCH a fun and interesting dynamic and could really push each other to change, for better for worse.

—The way I interpret Buzz is as a deeply flawed sim, but one who has room to improve and do better. He wasn’t the most involved parent, leaving most of the difficult work to Lyla (as seen in the in-game memories with her having taught most of their toddler skills), he obviously favors Tank, being harsher on Ripp and ignoring Buck, he puts a lot of pressure on all of them to live up to a very strict set of ideals. This impacts all of the kids negatively in different ways. Obviously not great, but I do believe that he does care about them and with the right catalyst, he could begin to see the error of his ways and make an effort to change. Like he’s not going to become the most open, accepting, emotionally available dad-of-the-year overnight, but I think he could sort of redeem himself over time. I see him as the type of sim who, once his mind sets on something, is all in, so I think once he realized how shitty he’s been, he’d throw himself into trying to be a better parent, although he would definitely not get it right on the first tries and would continually make mistakes. Of course there are going to be growing pains in an arc like this and he has some pretty skewed ideas of what good parenting looks like.

—I definitely get why he’s portrayed as straight-up abusive and virtually irredeemable in a lot of fanworks and that characterization is valid, but based the limited info we have from family and individual bios, memories, environmental storytelling, personality points, etc I think you could go in either direction and have a decently solid basis for it in canon. (Buzz in Division 47 in The Sims 2 PSP is a different story, but tbh I see that as an entirely different timeline and a lot of the characterizations are different.)

—So anyway, here’s how it starts: Buzz is spying on his neighbors with the telescope because he’s a fucking freak who can’t mind his own business; Vidcund comes over to yell at him for spying because he’s also a fucking freak and assumes Buzz is spying on his household specifically. Buzz keeps doing it to spite him because no one tells him what to do on his own watcher-damn property. This continues every day and although neither would ever admit it, they both start looking forward to it bc they’re both lonely. Neither has many close relationships and every close relationship they do have is strained—Buzz with his kids bc he hasn’t been a very good father, Vidcund with his brothers bc there’s always been tension with Pascal over the whole Circe thing and he hasn’t been getting along with Lazlo as well recently. (That bit is inspired by my playthroughs—every time I load up that household, Vidcund and Lazlo have a negative interaction that causes them to lose their status as best friends). Slowly but surely, they build up a rapport and eventually something akin to friendship.

—Buzz gets his demotion, just like in the game’s scripted events, and will soon struggle to pay his mortgage and keep up his family’s current standard of living on his new salary, but he would rather die than admit to failure so he needs to find a way to stay in that house and keep up appearances. Meanwhile, with Pascal’s new alien baby, the Curious household is always loud and chaotic. Vidcund resents the lack of quiet and alone time and the interruption to his routine. Oh, look at that, Buzz has a spare room, and there are no crying babies in his house, just two horribly maladjusted teenagers and an attention-starved tween. Cue the “And they were roommates.”

—At some point, Buzz decides to try and get Buck into private school and invites the headmaster over. He enlists Vidcund’s help and they pose as a married couple (if he wants to impress this snobby ass school he can’t let on that he needs a roommate, and he sees that as the most plausible explanation for why Vidcund lives there. Also at this point Vidcund’s a professor at La Fiesta Tech so that kind of helps make them look even more impressive.)

—Buzz forces Tank and Ripp to spend the weekend camping at Three Lakes because he doesn’t trust them to get along for the night and make a good impression (who’s fault is that, Buzz?? Who played favorites and pitted them against each other??). They have a side story bonding and overcoming some of their issues there.

—To really sell it, Buzz and Vidcund casually touch each other here and there (an arm around the waist, hand on the shoulder, etc.) Both of them are too emotionally constipated to show affection in any way, especially physical, so they’re both super touch starved and end up liking it a lot. Like, a lot.

—Even though dinner fully caught on fire and nearly burned the house down, they manage to get Buck in. Buzz is all giddy (although he tries to hide it and be his usual gruff self) and keeps giving Vidcund these soft looks when he thinks he’s not looking.

—They end up sleeping together (in the literal sense, not woohoo) but Buzz’s reaction to it makes it seem like more happened. He’s all stressed over it, wondering what does this mean?? What are they?? He can’t believe he allowed himself to receive slight physical intimacy and comfort. What’s gotten into him??

—Cue Buzz and Vidcund lounging in the kitchen in their boxers and undershirts sipping coffee when Tank and Ripp come home early. Buzz is mortified and stammers trying to explain himself, but the boys Do Not Care.

—The fucking family drama this would cause!!! Imagine the Curious family finally finding out who Vidcund’s seeing. Pascal would be furious. Lazlo would just be confused, and maybe concerned for Vidcund, but they all suck at feelings and communication so he doesn’t express it in the best way. Then Vidcund gets pissed at his brothers, causing even more tension in their already strained relationship.

—Jenny I think would be extremely weary of Buzz because of his and PT9’s history and make it clear that she’s not going to tolerate any bullshit, but would try and put her best foot forward. She’s happy to see Vidcund in a relationship that seems to be making him happy and isn’t just one-sided stalking on his part (RIP Circe Beaker).

—When Jenny tries to talk to the other brothers about this, they’re already fragile and take it to mean that she sees their arrangement of living and co-parenting Pascal’s kid together instead of with romantic partners as inferior (bc a part of this is that they feel like Vidcund abandoned them for the Grunt family). They also incorrectly assume that Jenny thinks she’s better than them for having a more traditional family. And there WAS a time when she worried about them staying single in Pascal’s case or unmarried/only seeing Crystal casually in Lazlo’s (when you load up the household in the game, she almost always rolls the want to have a baby, but by that point she’s too close to being an elder to be able to do so; I think she adores her husband and her family and wouldn’t change anything, but because she waited so long due to PT9 being gone on his assignment, she wasn’t able to have a large family like she always wanted. So at some point she would have worried about her brothers waiting until it’s “too late” like she did, in a sense, but once she realized they really didn’t want that, she supported them.)

—PT9 is the type of sim to always take the high ground and focus on his own life and the people he loves, so Buzz’s beef with him has always been kind of one-sided anyway (saw a post of them as that “when someone’s so hateful it inspires you to be kinder”/“when someone’s so kind it actually disgusts you” meme and like yeah. That’s their dynamic). Buzz clumsily tries to make amends, and they slowly bond and put the time they fought in a Waffle House parking lot behind them (yes that is where the fight happened, it’s 10000% canon, trust). PT9 or Jenny will often playfully remind him about how he got his ass handed to him, but by this point (shockingly) he’s actually grown a sense of humor and he doesn’t mind. I just love the idea of Buzz, Jenny and PT9 having a slowburn enemies to friends arc.

—This leads to Jenny and Vidcund reconnecting. Between being significantly older and not sharing a lot of the same interests that her brothers always bonded over, I think Jenny always felt a little alienated and left out. Almost like they were in an exclusive little club she didn’t get to be a part of. But now Vidcund’s kicked out of the club too because Pascal and Lazlo hate his ass (not really. They’re just hurt and need time to come around to the idea of him being with Buzz Grunt of all people). So they get to get to know each other as adults and discover what they do have in common. Both love botany and they start gardening together. Jenny minored in botany and she’s extremely knowledgeable. Both are elated to have someone they can share their passion with. Vidcund is shocked and scandalized to learn that she grew and sold her own weed back in high school and college. (She still does on the side but shhh don’t tell Buzz). Both love to read and they form a little book club. They start out only reading the classics and scientific literature, wanting to impress each other, but they both have a secret love of trashy, pulpy romance novels that they try desperately to hide out of embarrassment. Eventually, they realize this and add some of those books into the rotation.

—As his relationship with Buzz has gotten more serious, Vidcund’s kind of struggling with his new role as essentially a stepdad, and Jenny and PT9 are the go to people for parenting advice. One night PT9 is essentially like “my brother in Watcher, it’s good that you care but you worry too much, there’s no guidebook and none of us truly know what we’re doing, everybody fucks up sometimes.” And Jenny’s like “preach”. (They also may or may not be stoned off Jenny’s primo weed for this discussion).

—What are the kids up to during all this?? Well, Ophelia, tired of her anxieties ruling her life, decides to explore the mysteries and weird supernatural occurrences of Strangetown. Initially, her goal is simply to learn how to exorcise ghosts so she can finally have some peace and quiet at home and no longer be constantly scared by them, but deep down it’s about proving to herself that she can be brave and overcome her fears. Through the process, gaining an understanding of the town’s weirdness will also give her a sense of control and make it seem less unknowable and terrifying. She drags Ripp and Johnny into it (they’re a polycule btw; they’re such an inseparable trio to me. I have installed mods in my game to allow polyamory solely so they can be together) and they begin to spend all their free time exploring the town and uncovering its secrets.

—Now that Tank and Ripp are cool, Ripp wants to spend more time with his brother, so Tank attempts to make things right with Johnny and Johnny gives Tank a chance, mainly for Ripp’s sake. So Tank kind of fourth wheels them and tags along on their adventures, but he doesn’t mind. He’s vibing and actually having fun for once. They also have to sneak around a lot bc Olive is really strict, as is Buzz (although he has started to loosen up a little at this point) and Tank really loves the shenanigans and rebelling because he’s never allowed himself to do that.

—I think Tank and Ophelia could eventually become close. They’re both bundles of tension and anxiety and hold themselves to impossible standards (Ophelia channels this into trying to be the perfect student and obsessing over her grades). They both struggle to let go of control because neither has really had any in their home lives. Neither one has really gotten the chance to talk about the parents they lost or given themselves space to properly grieve (Ripp hasn’t either), always too focused on surviving the here and now, but would eventually come to allow themselves to do so. (Haven’t really fleshed it out yet but the catalyst for this is that one of the supernatural adventures they go on involves ghosts and the need to process things to be able to move on to the next plane. It’s, like, annoyingly on the nose and Not Subtle Whatsoever to the point where it actually irritates them.)

—Also Tank is aroace. I see a character that doesn't have a canonical love interest and I go, “It’s free real estate” and hit them upside the head with the aroace beam. He starts out deeply ashamed of it, feeling like he failed to live up to the standards of masculinity his dad used to put on him and that he continues to put on himself, but slowly comes around to be okay with it.

—Buck and Jill become besties. I think it starts out as sort of a “well our families spend like every second together now. You’re literally always around and we’re the only two kids around our age at the function. I guess we’re friends?” type of deal. Like they’ve always been chill and friendly with each other at school, but never super close. But Jill brings out Buck’s more playful and imaginative side and helps him to just be a kid, and in turn she gets a new partner in crime. He also helps her gain the confidence to stand up to a few little shits who have been making fun of her at school, and they get their revenge on them with some kind of epic prank. They get in trouble for it and Buck expects Buzz to either be mad at him or ignore him per usual, but instead Buzz is proud that he stood up for his friend and for what was right.

—One day Buck and Jill are left alone in the house with the dog (I always get the Smiths a big dog and name it something stupid like Floofmaster 5000) and decide to give it a bath, haircut and dye job after Buck tells her about his dreams of being a celebrity pet groomer. (Fun fact for those not familiar with the game, that’s canon. IIRC it says something about him wanting to become a pet groomer to the stars in his bio. Sadly there’s no such career path in game to my knowledge). The Smiths come home to a bright pink dog with a surprisingly well-done haircut and a pink-stained bathroom. Jenny and PT9 try to (gently) scold the kids but they can’t stop laughing. PT9 dyes his hair pink to match the dog (in my heart he’s the classic “was adamant about absolutely not wanting a dog but then got the most attached to it” dad). Jenny joins in too because she always used to dye her hair fun colors and she misses it.

—Maybe Buck and Jill get crushes on each other and eventually date when they get older?? I usually put them together after sending them off to college in my game. Typically I give them both the pleasure aspiration too, so they spend their days just living it up, having fun, doing whatever they feel like doing. They match each other’s whimsy and chaos.

—Back to Buzz and Vidcund: at some point before they’re officially together but when they’re definitely Becoming A Thing, Buzz decides he needs to work on himself and repair his relationship with his kids before anything else can take priority, so they break things off but remain friends (emotional maturity??? From Buzz Grunt??? Inspiring. People really can change.) They’re both really mopey about it but insist they’re fine.

—Around this time, certified trust fund jerk Malcolm Landgraab IV comes on the scene to open up some new locations for his electronics retailer downtown. He and Vidcund meet, hit it off and end up in a sort of situationship. Vid still lives with the Grunts, but spends a lot of time with Malcolm and is around a lot less.

—The boys are Not Happy with this development. They’re like uh hey, where the fuck is he?? They’ve gotten attached to Vidcund and sort of started to see him as another parental figure. They kinda assumed Buzz and Vidcund were already a thing, so they’re shocked that they’ve “broken up” and not even told them, and that Buzz is being so cavalier about it. Also Tank and Buck don’t cope super well with big changes so this isn’t great for them :( now it’s up to poor Ripp to comfort both his brothers and tbh he has no idea what he’s doing. Get my man some of that primo weed, he needs it.

—Still, anytime Buzz or one of the boys call him for literally anything, Vidcund will drop Malcolm like a hot potato. It’s obvious where his priorities lie and where his heart is. Eventually, Malcolm breaks up with Vidcund, stating that he’s caught actual feelings but he knows Vidcund can’t reciprocate because he’s hung up on somebody else.

—This will become a plot point later: Malcolm keeps doing increasingly unhinged things to try and impress Vidcund and prove how great he’s doing after their breakup, which eventually escalates to him running for mayor of Strangetown. His opponent is none other than Circe Beaker and now everyone has to rally behind her because holy crap would that rich dumbfuck run Strangetown right into the ground. This is genuinely not meant to be a commentary of any sort, I just think a mayoral race between Circe “I definitely don’t have a man trapped in my basement to run experiments on” Beaker and Malcolm Landgraab IV would be funny, especially the way I like to characterize him (chaotic dumbass with a huge ego who has WAY too much money and free time and makes it everyone else’s problem.)

—Immediately after ending things with Malcolm, Vidcund tells Buzz what happened and why. After like a year of tension, they finally kiss. Vidcund moves his stuff from his room into Buzz’s and that’s that.

—They bicker a lot, sometimes playfully, sometimes not. It dredges up some memories related to their parents’ divorce for the boys when it happens in front of them. Buzz is trying but he’s still the densest motherfucker on the planet so it takes him a LONG time to realize this. Eventually, he and Vidcund learn to reign it in and the boys get to a place where they trust that it’s not anything serious and Vid’s not going anywhere.

—They’re both pretty ambivalent about marriage. Buzz has already been there done that and he fucked it up pretty bad. Vidcund’s not opposed but he’s never really pictured himself getting married. Eventually, when it comes time for Tank to start thinking about college, Vidcund mentions that as a prof at La Fiesta Tech any dependents of his get free tuition (including stepchildren) and suggests they get married for that reason. Buzz is like, “yeah, I don’t see us ever not being together anyway, sure.”

—I think they’re the type of sims to wear black stainless steel wedding bands. Buzz has an African violet engraved in Vidcund’s.

—As a popularity sim, Buzz would absolutely want a huge wedding and reception, and now that he actually has people who like him and would show up it’s within reach! But he knows how much Vidcund hates crowds and big parties so he keeps it lowkey. (Being considerate and prioritizing others’ needs and wants, even above his own?? Who is he??) They just do it at a courthouse and have a little family get together. Pascal and Lazlo come to at least make an effort to reach out and show their support, and Vidcund is overjoyed to see them, even if he acts aloof about it. Their relationship is still never quite as close as it used to be, but things are better.

—Also they’re autistic4autistic. Neither is aware of this. Buzz because he was raised in A Different Time and his parents were Very Traditional, so they just harshly disciplined him whenever he acted “weird” and he learned to mask very quickly; Vidcund because basically the entire Curious family was neurodivergent and Glarn and Kitty didn’t see the need to seek out a diagnosis, they just sort of accommodated the kids as needed and let ‘em do their thing. Buzz masks so hard and so consistently that he doesn’t even know how not to and refuses to accommodate himself (like if the fabric of a shirt is making him want to crawl out of his skin, he just keeps wearing it because he feels like he “should” be able to tolerate it and also that deeply ingrained toxic masculine ideal that suffering through it without complaining is the “manly” thing to do.) Vidcund cannot fathom masking and when it comes to things that trigger his sensory issues he’s a very “if it sucks hit da bricks” type of sim. He eventually convinces Buzz to just change out of the shirt, stop eating the food with the texture he can’t stand, take the aspirin when he has a headache, use the damn heating pad when his bad back is acting up, and just stop making himself miserable in all these little ways when he literally doesn’t have to.

—Tank is also like that (he learned it from his father and continued practicing it in an effort to be more like him and not disappoint him). He learnt about the joys of “if it sucks hit the bricks” from Ripp, and now that he sees his dad and Vidcund doing it, he feels more okay about not forcing himself to do things that make him really distressed or set off his sensory issues.

—Meanwhile, Ripp learned the joys of not hitting the bricks every time it sucks from Ophelia and Tank; especially with his creative endeavors, he starts sticking them out even when they get challenging, and he enjoys the satisfaction and fulfillment it brings him and creates some music and poetry he’s really proud of.

—The Grunt family looks for a car at some point and Buzz is initially going to get one of those unnecessarily huge trucks that don’t even fit in a lane on the road because of fucking course he’d be one of those guys. Ripp, the resident hippie who’s a bit of an environmentalist, is against this. Buzz actually ends up buying a more reasonable sized sedan, and Ripp is touched that Buzz listened to him, took his input and opinion seriously and even factored it into his decision.

[jades-typurriter]

Cherry Pops Under The Hood

This piece was my half of an art trade with @ricecreamart back in November 2023, starring her cast of OCs. She also did all the illustrations for this after the fact—if you're as much of a fan of plushie and mechanical stuff as I am (which, if you're one of my followers, there's a good chance), you should have a look at her work!!

The apartment was filled with all its usual signs of activity. The air inside was chilly—this deep into fall, the leaves had long since fallen and winter was beginning to butt in early. Ada hadn’t actually had to run her cooling fans in a long while, since it was cold enough even inside that her processors could be passively cooled, but she set them on low anyway. Her employers, Cherry and Nutmeg, appreciated any little bit of heat they could get, even the paltry amount that her system kicked out when she was just going about her business.

The two of them were seated at the kitchen table, snouts basking in the rising steam above their drinks. Ada relished in the mingling scents of Nutmeg’s tea and Cherry’s hot chocolate, and listened as the two of them bickered and bantered. Also as usual, Cherry was on the back foot in their flirty little playfight. Ada glanced over and saw all the tells that she was gonna be the first to get flustered: her eyes narrowed to help keep her face steady, her stubborn smile as though she was taking all of Nutmeg’s pokes and innuendos in good humor.

She smiled to herself and continued through the room, carrying a fresh load of laundry (and trying her best not to bury her face in the warm, soft fabric, another favorite new sensation of hers). She walked carefully—some component in her leg had failed recently, and the bundle of clothes was obscuring the ground in front of her feet. Though she tried to keep her gait straight, she could hear her own footsteps falling unevenly, heavy under her metal frame in spite of her padded exterior: thump-pmfsshh, thump-pmfsshh, thump-pmfsshh. One of Cherry’s ears flicked toward her and, grateful for the opportunity to retreat from Nutmeg’s teasing, she piped up.

“Hey, are you good, Ada? It sounds like one of your legs is dragging.”

“Yeah, uh…” she mumbled, her brows furrowing. “That’s a bit worse than I thought it was, actually… Here, lemme just set this down.” She dumped the clothes onto a nearby chair and, once again watching her step, ambled over to the table.

“‘ve you been having this problem long?” Cherry asked, resting her arm over the back of her chair to better face the housekeeper.

“You didn’t have to come in if you weren’t feeling well, you know,” Nutmeg added, setting her drink aside.

“Oh, I know, I just,” Ada hemmed, “I already have an appointment with the engineers that built this body for me, and y’know, they’re pretty busy… I figured, as long as I could watch where I was going, it wouldn’t be that much of a problem in the meantime.”

“Do you mind if I ask what’s wrong?” Cherry tilted her head. Ada had seen the expression before, on the number of occasions where she’d watched her fixing things up for other people—there was concern layered over it, but her interest was piqued.

“I think it’s a severed cable, the one that leads from my central nervous system to my knee. Or, maybe disconnected. I hope it’s not severed, uh. It could always be replaced, but it’d be much more of a hassle to have the whole cord unfastened and removed, and, y’know, it’s better to just not get damaged in the first place. Uh—”

“Do you want me to take a look at that for you?”

“Um.” Ada hesitated. Her fans, subtly, spun up. She hadn’t been examined by anybody besides the doctors and mechanics that had put her in her new body. For how many times they checked and double-checked her, from tip to tail and from paw to prow, that she’d be used to having someone poking around in her body, but… The last check-up had been months and months ago, before they were confident they could let her live on her own after the transition.

Plus, they were doctors, and it would feel… it would feel very different to have her friend get so close to her. Other than a doctor, it would actually be the first time anyone had gotten so close. But she had spent a good deal of time with Cherry since moving here, and she’d seen firsthand how good she was with her tools… Her fans spun yet faster; it occurred to her that they were becoming audible. Nutmeg’s eyes flicked between the two of them, which Cherry didn’t notice, but made Ada realize how long she’d been trying to think of what to say.

“Sure?” Okay, maybe she should have spent longer thinking about it. Nutmeg’s eyebrow jumped a full inch. “BUT, uh, c-ould we maybe? Do that in private? It feels a little… I don’t know, embarrassing. To have to strip and everything.”

“Oh, well, yeah. I mean, I wouldn’t ask you to get naked in the middle of the living room! C’mon, we can just do it in the den, you already know where my setup is.” She hopped out of her chair and, casually as anything, sauntered over to the den to wait for Ada to strip down to bare metal for her. Ada glanced back at Nutmeg; the wry smile she wore when she’d been pushing Cherry’s buttons was halfway back on her face—or maybe just half-concealed.

“You’ll be in good paws, sweetie,” she assured Ada, doing absolutely nothing to settle her nerves. Her wires. Whatever. “Do you need me to help you walk over there?”

“N-no, that’ll be—I’ll be fine, I just have to be careful. But thank you! Thank you, um,” she stuttered, eventually opting to just follow Cherry after realizing she wasn’t going to get any less awkward under the tanuki’s gaze. When she walked into the den, Cherry glanced over her shoulder.

“Just go ahead and get comfortable up here,” she said, patting a spot on the table. As she went back to rooting through toolboxes, she continued. “You said it was your knee, right? So you shouldn’t actually have to strip down. I promise I’m not gonna, like, look up your skirt.”

“Well, no, but—It’s not the c-clothes I’m worried about—well, I guess I’m worried about the clothes, too, um. Okay, just, you’ll see.” She turned away from Cherry—not that she was even looking. Gosh, why did this worry her so much?—and bent down to reach under her skirt. She fumbled for a moment before her paw found a zipper; she pulled gently, working it around the circumference of her hip joint, and began to roll down the now-freed fabric casing that sat over her metal frame. When it was about halfway down her calf, leaving her thigh and knee bare, she padded over next to Cherry and sat down on the table.

“Alright, are you—oh,” Cherry interrupted herself, finally looking over from her tools and seeing the exposed mechanisms. “Ohhh, I see, okay. My bad,” she apologized, rubbing the back of her neck. “When you said you had to strip, I thought you meant… your clothes. I forgot the fuzzy bits are separate, haha.”

“Oh, t-thats, totally fine,” Ada managed, unable to look Cherry in the eyes.

“I think I just, consider it… like, it’s your face, right? It’s like if you were trying to think of my skin as a separate entity from the rest of me. When I think of ‘Ada’, that’s just, what you look like.” Ada finally turned her head, just about at eye level with Cherry from her seated position. Their eyes lingered on each other for a moment; Cherry’s expression was still somewhat sheepish after the little misunderstanding, and something flickered behind Ada’s eyes that approached doubtfulness. Disbelief. Then a little smile broke on her face, and there was something very soft in them instead, softer even than her plush exterior. 

“That… means a lot to hear, actually,” she half-whispered, her eyes drifting downward. “Sometimes I still have to remind myself of it, but you’re right. This is me. It’s just, it’s almost a pleasant surprise every time I re-realize it, y’know? Like it’s too good to be true.”

“Oh, god, do I understand that,” Cherry chuckled, shoulders relaxing in the mercifully-broken tension. But hey,” she said, drawing their eyes back together. “you kinda get used to it after a while. Not in a way where it stops being fun, though!. Like, you still wake up some days, and it’s like it’s Christmas, but it doesn’t shock you like you’d lost track of the date, right? You still get to be you—it’s still awesome every time you remember ‘dude, this is your life now’—but you don’t forget that you’re you in the meantime. Y’know?”

“I can imagine. I get closer every day, I think. Physical… snags, like this one, remind me a lot of how things were before, but… I guess I have you for that now, right?”

“Right!” Cherry slapped a fist down into her open palm. “We’re gonna get you good as new in no time. You ready?”

“I-I think I am! Uh—” she stammered, pressing down her skirt between her legs. “Okay, now I’m ready!” Cherry giggled, then looked at her lap and back up at her.

“...Do your clothes even come off?”

“Sure! If. You take the rest of me off, too.” They stared at each other for another half a breath and cracked up again. That’s bedside fuckin’ manner, babey!! Cherry was doing a kickass job at this robot doctor thing already. She kneeled down, still giggling, to get a closer look at the laggy limb.

“Woooahh,” she mused, face-to-face with Ada’s bare knee. Her eyes were wide and sparkling like the robot had shone a little red laser dot on the floor in front of her. “Oh my god, Ada. I know we were just talking about how cool it is to be you, like, with a capital B and Y, but you really are an amazing piece of work!” She gushed for a minute straight about the suspension, a thick spring coiled around Ada’s stand-in for a tibia and fibula, which Cherry could see extending down the remainder of her leg underneath the metal sheath and the remaining fabric cover; that was to say nothing of the hydraulic struts that extended behind and above her knee, powering her locomotion.

“I kind of don’t want to touch anything there… at least, not if we can help it. I’m not gonna say I couldn’t do it—I’m pretty good, y’know,” she added with a flicked ear and a raised eyebrow. “Buuut, it’d definitely be more complicated to fix than a connection issue would, so let’s look around for that first, right?”

“Sure, sure. It should be higher up in my thigh. Thhhhhhat panel,” she recalled after some deliberation, pointing to a plate of metal on the inside of her leg, “should come off.” Cherry produced a screwdriver from her pool of tools and dutifully levered the compartment open, finding… well, it was much cleaner than she’d expected.

“Huh. I guess I gotta give ‘em points for wire management? I can see a couple other big cables running through here, but they’re all on the other side. This one seems to be the only one that runs to the upper leg. Kinda seems like putting all your eggs in one basket, though… If something happens with this wire, poof! There goes your whole thigh.”

“Just like now,” Ada sighed.

“Why would they do it like that?”

“It’s supposed to be like the femoral artery,” she huffed. “If you ask me, the human body is the last thing to be taking design inspiration from, but the engineers liked how tidy it was, and the doctors thought I was complicated enough as it was. They agreed that mirroring the bigger anatomical landmarks would make it so a non-specialist doctor could at least try to treat me.”

“Who the hell studies medicine and engineering?” Cherry muttered, peering further down into Ada’s chassis. “I can see it all the way to the end, though. Like, with a plug and everything still attached. It must’ve just come loose, so all I gotta do is—”

“NyaaAAAA—” Ada squealed. Her paws flew to her mouth; her fans revved full-force. Cherry’s claw had barely grazed the cable, but it felt like she had just rubbed her paw all the way along the inside of her thigh.

“Ah!! Did that hurt? Are you okay?” She looked up at Ada and saw the flustered expression half-hidden behind her paws. She felt a rush of air from the opening to the inside of Ada’s furry casing and realized that she was burning up. “...Oh.”

“I-I’m. Yeah, f-fine,” the mortified android managed, squeezing her eyes shut. “It was just, um. Sensitive. Sorry.”

“Oh, no, it’s no problem!! I should’ve looked a little bit more before leaping, I guess. I’m just,” she finished, bowing her own head again to hide the blush spreading across her own cheeks, “glad you’re alright. Lemme try it with some pliers instead—I’ll be more gentle this time.” She fished out a needle-nosed pair and, gripping the bundle of wire just beneath the plug, slowly finagled it into the socket.

Cherry instructed Ada to flex her knee; she could, just fine. She asked her to extend it, and she did, no problem! She rolled her ankle around next, even though it wasn’t originally the problem, just to make sure Cherry hadn’t accidentally knocked anything else loose while she was down there. She slowly snapped the panel back into place—this time, Ada had braced herself, and though she couldn’t look Cherry in the eye while she was working down there, she barely made a peep this time. They finally emerged from the den, Cherry holding the door open so Ada could make sure she could get around without difficulty again, and were met with Nutmeg eyeing the two of them over her mug.

“Did something go wrong?” She asked, voice full of exaggerated concern—after all, Ada was walking just fine.

“In my workshop?" Cherry gloated. "C'mon. It was just a loose cable. You’ll make sure not to flex your leg too far in the future, right, Ada?”

“Right!”

“Oh, good!” Nutmeg continued. “So, if you didn’t make a mistake in there, I assume you meant to make her squeak like that?” she asked, taking a slow sip of her tea and staring Cherry dead in the eye.

“Y’know,” she forced out, putting her best poker face back on. “I think I’m gonna take Ada to the park, just to put her through her paces. Doesn’t that sound nice, Ada?”

“Huh? I wasn’t done cleani—”

“Awesome! We’ll be back in a bit, Meg,” she growled, nearly shoving the girl out the door in front of her.

It wasn’t long before Cherry realized that she’d escaped from Nutmeg’s coolheaded quips without thinking to take a sweater—she’d jumped out of the fridge and into the freezer, with the way the weather had been recently. Ada offered to turn her fans up, and Cherry stayed nice and close to her (which was very, very easy, with how soft her exterior was). While the two of them walked laps to keep their servos warm and their blood circulating, they talked about all kinds of things. A simple “you mentioned ‘how things were before’” turned into swapping backstories: how Cherry got into tinkering with machines, how Ada got into a machine.

Of course, they had plenty of common ground, from the realization that things could be different, and the freedom that came with it, to the malaise that it had freed them from. Cherry managed to keep things light; like she’d said earlier, things only went uphill from the start of journies like theirs, and she was rarely without a crack that would break the gloom of a bad memory. It got dark faster than they expected, but it had more to do with how much fun they were having together than the shortening days. When it got too cold for Cherry to stand staying out any longer, the two of them walked back to the front door of her apartment building.

“Y’know,” she said when they arrived, “you didn’t have to walk me all the way home. It’s almost like the end of a date, or something.”

“What, with how much you and Nutmeg flirt while I’m around? It couldn’t be!” She froze; and Cherry felt the air around her begin to thaw. “Wait, could it be? Cherry, was this supposed to be a date??”

“I was just kidding, bestie, you don’t have to go critical on me. Usually, you get up under a girl’s skirt at the end of a date, right?”

“C-c’mon!” she cried, screwing her eyes shut again. “It wasn’t like that!!”

“I know, I know!” Cherry laughed. “Hey, c’mon. I promise it’s not like it’s gonna be weird or anything. Doctor-patient confidentiality, or whatever, right? But hey,” she said more softly, reaching for Ada’s paw. She paused before touching her, waiting for her to nod in confirmation before just going and grabbing things, this time. “We could make it a date, next time! If you want, anyway.”

“U-um. Yeah. Yeah!” There was a growing, fully snow-free circle spreading from Ada’s feet, at this point. “T-that would be, it’d be awesome! I would love that!!”

“Great! You know the door’s always open for you, bestie. See you soon?”

“I’m already scheduled to come over again in a few days!!”

“Sooner? I’m on my way to face the music. I was definitely losing to Nutmeg earlier. If you bail me out before she literally pushes me up against the wall, we can call it even for helping you out today.” Ada’s brow furrowed, a little concerned.

“She’s not… literally pushing you around, right?”

“Oh, no! I’m constantly asking for it. Literally, most of the time. I wouldn’t even complain if she did it tonight, but like… it’s the principle. I gotta save face after getting dressed-down in front of a guess like that, y’know?”

“Well, that makes two of us getting exposed in front of our friends, right? At least you aren’t alone.”

“Ha! Sorry again about that. But hey, maybe we can do that on purpose next time too, right?” She could see Ada freezing up again, and blew her a kiss goodbye to save her the trouble of finding her words again, ducking back inside; she could hear the air whooshing around outside all the way until she got back to the elevator.

plus a little bit of an epilogue for you =^w^=

I hope you enjoyed!! The transgender plushie robot catgirl is very near and dear to my heart. I know, I know, total shock. If you're interested in more of my writing you can have a look here and here. And please check Robin out too!! She's crazy talented and is the one who came up with Ada in the first place so

[kibblbread]

Using The Pizza Delivery Girl’s Survival Guide to Gotham City by @morverenmaybewrites as reference again because yes. 🙌 These are some thoughts on Y/N and JT living together as an established couple for the first 1-2 years!

After reader inevitably begins requesting that he be over more often or even move into her home I feel Jason will hesitate. He’s probably going to be very concerned about safety, considering so many people would love to hurt the ones he’s closest to as a way to get to him. Reader isn’t trying to hear any of it lowkey though 😭 she definitely wants her man off the streets. But on a more serious note reader really would prefer JT be with her in her little apartment (w/ proper heating) than running between all those raggedy safe-houses of his.

When Jason does make PG’s apartment his new base of operations of sorts, he’s a bit slow to settle in. JT likes his new home, he loves it actually, but feels his presence alone is enough to ruin a good thing. All the fear, self doubt & insecurity still lingers in the back of his mind and at the end of most thoughts. PG is much better at deciphering his moods at this point though and is more than happy to pull Jason out of his own head. She’s definitely not a mind reader but starts recognizing patterns of behavior/body language when JT is overwhelmed/panicked.

I headcanon that PG keeps a lot of disposable masks around so Jason can cover up on his off days.😷

Pushing aside JT’s inferiority complexes, it’s not hard to see he’s going to greatly benefit from cohabiting. Romantic or not, having basic needs met along with a partner will only affect his mental health positively. The apartment they share has a lot of plants, trinkets, and news articles(to fuel PG’s obsession with all things Gotham). When Jason starts really feeling comfortable and allowing himself to get invested he’ll host a small collection of books hidden away in the bedroom on a nightstand. There’ll also be a desk for him to tinker with tech or gadgets, less space in the closet and drawers for clothes, as well as 1 or 2 more hygiene products in the bathroom. PG ,for me personally, has plenty of self care products to spare and share. All this more than likely happens over the course of 3-4 months, but soon after this transitional period, Jason grows very attached and protective of his new and hopefully final home.

He won’t be too happy about PG inevitably suggesting they move, even if it means more room, he’s just naturally a creature of habit. Although New Gotham isn’t the most safe, it’s still leagues ahead of East End. For this reason alone I feel PG is inclined to stay a lot longer than she anticipated, even in spite of Ghost/Bruce knowing where they live.

But all in all, they’re happy. Dick and Babs get to visit every once in a blue moon since JT is still mentally struggling when seeing them. He’s less hostile and more neutral at this point and allows Timbo to speak to him on terms of business…

JT is totally super snippy about it though. lol

[skrittkicking]

oc introduction: iovitus rainbreak

TLDR: iovitus rainbreak is a 28 year old ex-blood legion soldier turned gladium following a traumatic event that left them without a warband and resulted in their expulsion from the legions. nowadays, they live with their older, also ex-blood cousin – gratta rainsunder, played by @rytlockdripstone – and are trying their best to move on from their past, but really, they’re just ignoring it and calling it an improvement

content warning: death, verbal abuse, bullying, ableism, drug use, mild torture, suicidal ideation

word count: 3049

born to two blood legion charr in a futile attempt to fix their failing relationship, iovitus was the second cub of lia windwalker (dame) and silas firekeep (sire). they had an older sister, eudocia, who died in infancy due to an unknown genetic illness. they were healthy for their early life and were sent to the fahrar when they came of age – things would quickly turn there, however, as a young iovitus soon fell into an intense illness – the same genetic one that had taken their sister, years before. it seemed to have sat dormant for a while, but the unfamiliar environment of the fahrar sprung it on. during their time spent in the hospital, iovitus would be visited by their mother whenever possible, though her visits were far and few between. she just wanted to see to it that her only remaining cub would survive – silas had been killed just a few months prior in a skirmish, so there would be no third chance. iovitus would survive this, but it left them permanently immunocompromised and threw off their hormonal balance, rendering them much smaller and scrawnier than their peers, and the young charr would never quite grow out of it. 

once strong enough to get back into the fahrar, iovitus had fallen quite behind their peers and had to work hard to catch up, all the while enduring relentless bullying for their comparatively scraggly stature and somewhat delayed social skills. to cope with this, iovitus eagerly seeks to prove themselves to their peers, taking on more and more dangerous dares and doing incredibly stupid things that a cub of their age should not be doing. in this time, though, they do make one true friend. he’s a year their senior, but the two grow very close, though doesn’t do much to protect them from the bullying at the hands of the cubs. in spite of this, however, iovitus continues to seek out validation from people who don’t have their best interest in mind, and this most certainly comes back to bite them in the ass. at one point around the age of six or seven, iovitus and a few other cubs sneak out of the fahrar’s grounds and explore the surrounding area; sometime during this, iovitus is either pushed into or falls into (they can’t really remember which) a ventilation shaft and breaks their right leg at the ankle. ouch! due to the nature of the breakage, it’s determined that the best course of action is amputation below the knee, so, goodbye leg. 

after spending some more time in the hospital to recover, iovitus is thrown back into the fahrar and continues their studies to the best of their ability, though they now have to walk with a mobility aid. no accommodations are given to them by their no-nonsense primus, tullia wildrush, which iovitus sees as some sort of punishment for their misbehavior, and begins to harbor a dislike for her authority, which will only continue to grow as time goes on. in actuality, tullia is attempting (for better or for worse) to push iovitus harder, knowing that if they do survive to adulthood, their opponents on the battlefield will actively target their newfound disability. the bullying they’d endured previously stalled briefly as the cubs had been harshly punished for their behavior by tullia, but it slowly fell back into where it was before – if not worse. before, iovitus might’ve been lightly pushed around, but now the cubs had something they could physically take from them: their walking cane. this continued till they were 10, when things shifted drastically: iovitus got into a physical fight with a girl who’d taken their cane and refused to give it back, pushing her down onto the ground and hitting her till she was still. oh. oops! after this incident, iovitus would be given a proper prosthetic limb by the primus, and the bullying died down – though it didn’t quite come to a complete halt, it was marginally less severe than it’d been previously. iovitus was never properly punished for the death of the other cub by their hands.

time passes, and iovitus continues to train hard in the fahrar, doing exceedingly well with both the longbow and throwing axes. as they shift into a teenager and are enveloped in the throes of puberty™, they go through what could be called a rebellious phase, purposefully going against what their primus says just for the fun of it – it earns them something of a respect amongst their peers, and iovitus relishes in that feeling, doubling down on their misbehavior. they also begin whatever the fuck the tyrian equivalent of hrt is, deepening their voice and earning them a neat little row of spines down the back of their neck, amongst other things. it’s only taken temporarily, as iovitus is satisfied with what they get out of it and don’t feel the need to continue. iovitus acquires a lot of piercings during this angsty bout of teenagehood. it is also during this time that they are introduced to the realm of illegal substances, doing whatever fun little hard drugs they can get their paws on. it never becomes an addiction, however, and iovitus is still keen to do well in the fahrar, despite everything. additionally, their close friend comes out to them as a trans woman, taking on the name cassia. she seems much happier afterwards, and the two blossom into a couple. win for the gays! 

soon after, the two of them graduate from the fahrar – cassia, despite being a year older than iovitus, stayed behind an extra year so the two of them could graduate together. rather than forming their own warband, however, they are invited to join the rain warband, as the both of them were amongst some of the best combatants in their year’s crop. iovitus took on the surname rainbreak, and cassia, rainsong. the rain warband was a spec-ops unit, operating as a sort of jack of all trades, doing whatever was needed of them – which usually meant killing what needed to be killed, interrogations, search and destroy/rescue missions, et cetera. all was well for a period of time, and cassia was quickly promoted to second-in-command, despite her young age. her prowess with the blade was incredible, as were her quick problem-solving capabilities and general badassery. iovitus also fell out of their drug usage during this period, though still did so recreationally whenever there wasn’t much to be done. things were good for a while, but they didn’t last long, thanks to the brewing conflict between the legions. wartime was fast approaching.

due to the nature of their warband, iovitus was spared from ever having to fight directly on the front lines, but that does not mean they are out of harms way; the rain warband is constantly moving from area to area, securing different zones, conducting quiet cullings, extracting information where they can, and doing whatever was needed of them without asking any questions. cassia was promoted to legionnaire after her predecessor was killed in a run-in with some flame legion soldiers. life went on and it kind of sucked because war sucks! iovitus gained a few cool new scars, so on and so forth. in the brief downtime that they have, iovitus and cassia talk about what kind of a life they’d like to live together when everything’s said and done. eventually, 2 members of the ‘band would be killed in an escort mission gone awry, leaving only 6 members alive. still reeling from the death of their previous legionnaire, this would hurt – but it was nothing in comparison to the event that would perspire in just a short few weeks time, so close to the end of the civil war. 

responding to a distress call from a nearby allied warband, the rain warband would find themselves locked in combat with a much larger, well-prepared set of flame legion soldiers. the warband they had been responding to were all already dead, so any attempt at rescue was out of the question. overwhelmed and underprepared, iovitus’ bandmates slowly fell till it was just them and cassia left – the flame legion warband had taken a few hits too, however, with a generous number of their bandmates dying. exhausted and grieving their fallen bandmates, iovitus and cassia are captured by the flame legion soldiers – rather than just killing them outright, however, they are tied up and beaten half to death in a futile attempt to squeeze any information out of them. being a spec-ops unit, however, they don’t really have access to anything they’d find useful, leaving the flame warband dissatisfied. there was no point in keeping the two of them alive, so they make the easy decision to just cut their throats and be done with it. cassia is first, and iovitus can do nothing but sit and watch as she bleeds out in front of them, coughing and sputtering, choking on her own blood. it’s an image that’s permanently burned into their head, and they watch the life slowly disappear from her eyes.

its their turn now, but just as the blade is put to their throat, their impending execution is interrupted by another blood legion warband – the tremble warband, who’d come to their aid, also having received the distress call from earlier. too little, too late. they are able to find and cull the remaining flame legion soldiers and rescue iovitus, but iovitus is, naturally, very upset. they’d just lost their entire warband in the span of a few hours and their partner – a staggering amount of grief overtakes them, and they’re not thinking properly. iovitus begs the tremble warband to kill them and be done with it – they reason that there’d be no witnesses to know what truly happened, and iovitus’ death could just be attributed to the fallen flame legion warband. the tremble warband refuses, obviously, no matter how much iovitus pleads for them to change their minds and reconsider. if they’re not going to kill them that easily, maybe iovitus can give them a proper reason to take them out. without any inclination as to what they’re doing, iovitus lashes out against their fellow blood legion soldiers, striking true with their axes – they manage to kill three before they’re knocked down onto the ground and hit hard enough to fall unconscious. iovitus wasn’t given what they desired – the release of death. they tried their hardest, though, having taken down the legionnaire and two bandmates.

following this, iovitus was brought to the blood legion homelands where they were put on trial for treason. iovitus didn’t care to fight the case, admitting guilt, hoping they’d be thrown into and die in some sort of gladiatorial combat. for whatever reason, however, the newfound legionnaire of the tremble warband, omiros tremblecut, decides to withdraw his case, instead allowing for iovitus to live freely as a gladium, much to the dismay of his bandmates. they are still found guilty of treason, though, and are expelled from the blood legion. at the time, iovitus did not know why the legionnaire did this. if they were in the place of the tremble warband, they knew that they’d certainly press for a painful death. iovitus knows now, though: the life of a gladium is a difficult one, ridden with grief, constantly followed by the things that they have done, knowing they can never return. there is no second chance; word of their crimes would spread, and even if iovitus was permitted back into the blood legion for whatever reason, they’d never find a warband willing to take them. it was a sentence worse than death, in a way.

leaving with nothing but the clothes on their back and a (stolen) raptor, iovitus wanders tyria for a few weeks, surviving off what little money they have on them. they don’t know what to do with themselves – it’s a brand new, unfamiliar, and quite terrifying world, and they have to navigate it all by themselves. part of them hungers for an easy death, but iovitus is too much of a coward to actually do anything. eventually, their funds run dry, and iovitus takes on a few odd jobs to get by. they purposefully pick and choose jobs that are dangerous, like mercenary work, hoping they’ll have an unlucky accident and end up dead. despite their best efforts, however, it doesn’t happen, and time slowly goes on. during this time, iovitus develops a fear towards other charr, avoiding them to the best of their ability – really, they avoid most social interaction in general, only talking to people when they absolutely have to. they’re also technically homeless, sort of just camping out in the woods when not actively enrolled in a job. life is miserable. iovitus takes out most of their piercings and begins smoking more regularly – it’s an easy distraction from their thoughts. they know it’s bad for them, but they do it anyways. maybe on purpose. since their expulsion, iovitus has actively worked to distance themselves from their charr heritage, taking on a more passive approach to life, and harboring a distaste for violence. 

at some point, iovitus picks up a job as a ranch hand, and discovers a previously unknown love for and skill with animals. iovitus takes comfort in them – sure, they have their raptor, but she wasn’t something iovitus really thought too hard about before. she was just kind of there. from here on out, iovitus begins to take on more and more work that deals with animal care and studies, slowly making a name for themselves in the community. the gladium begins to do their own simple research on genetics on the side, though they’re never confident enough to post anything they find. it’s all kept to themselves. time passes, and iovitus continues to work, pushing aside any thoughts of their past and pretending their heritage is nonexistent. they gain a few new companions along the way – first is meatball, an undead, underbaked minion of zhaitan who is too small to really do any actual harm. he’s free from the control of zhaitan, and sort of just acts like a bitchy cat most of the time. then, the aptly-named meathead, a smokescale whom iovitus rescued in maguuma after he’d broken his leg. meathead is trained in combat, and acts as iovitus’ companion. their most recently acquired little beasty is a griffon. he’s gifted to them as an egg by one of their coworkers, and though iovitus is hesitant to take him at first, they concede, raising him from a hatchling. he’s named W.P., and don’t ask what it stands for, because iovitus will never tell. 

as much as iovitus loves their animal companions, they are getting more and more lonely – it’s been a few years now. they are more social with their coworkers now than they were before, but don’t form any real meaningful relationships – most jobs are just a one-off thing, and iovitus loses contact with anyone they work with after they’re done. they crave the comfort of a warband – or, really, just anyone in general. the thought of another romantic relationship is overwhelmingly painful for iovitus to even consider. iovitus isn’t really sure where to start looking for companions. they don’t really like the limited feeling of living in a city – besides, the kind of work that they do requires them to move from place to place constantly. living in the woods also means iovitus has all the space to do whatever the hell they want and they don’t have to worry about neighbors or anything. it's fun! sort of. they do have to worry about bears and stuff, though, but that’s manageable. 

as terrifying as the prospect is, iovitus begins to look into their own family heritage, tracking down bloodlines and listing out all of their still-living relatives. charr don’t particularly care for their families, but iovitus doesn’t know where else to look – and they’re already not a very traditional charr, anyways. they have no siblings, so that’s out of the question. most of their aunts and uncles have been dead for a while, but iovitus’ mother is still around, as are a handful of cousins. well. it’s better than nothing, they suppose. it takes months of them building up the courage, but iovitus sends out a bundle of letters to any relatives they deem worth it, hoping they are unaware of their status as a gladium or don’t really care too much. most of them don’t respond, but iovitus does get two letters back – one from their mother, a harshly-worded response calling them a slew of insults and a blemish on their bloodline. ouch! thanks, ma. the other is from an older cousin – legionnaire gratta flashshot of the flash warband.  she’s unaware of the things iovitus has done, but knows of their gladium ranking. she doesn’t seem bothered by it, and the two grow close, spending more and more time with each other as time goes on. iovitus seems happier. are they? uhhh lol

gratta sort of moves in with iovitus, and eventually she leaves the legions altogether to live with them full time, all while iovitus continues to work – though at a much slower pace than they had been doing previously. they also spend more time in the human city of divinity’s reach, having made a couple of friends due to gratta’s unintentional influence. they have yet to connect with any charr outside of gratta in any meaningful way, still put off by the thought. iovitus also doesn’t really talk about their past unless prompted to, but there’s some things they haven’t told anyone – and they’d like to keep it that way. the thought of their friends – and, primarily, gratta – finding out of their crimes and wrongdoings terrifies them. so they’ll just bury it deep inside of them, and that’s that. it’s not healthy, but iovitus pretends it is. recently, iovitus has learned of their cousin’s occupation as a rift hunter, and are worried for her. it’s dangerous work, and she’s been doing it for a while. iovitus would much rather be doing it with her, to ensure she doesn’t get herself killed. they just don’t really know how to ask. oh, yeah, they also smoke a shit ton of weed, i guess

and that's where things stand currently! who knows what's in store for this kitty cat! wow i sure hope nothing bad happens to them!

[the-inkwell-variable]

Trick or treat!!

AHA A TREAT FOR THEE AND ALSO A CUTE PUMPKIN

TODAY'S TREAT IS A SNIPPET FROM ENDLESS, MY ZOMBIE SHORT STORY COLLECTION THAT I'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF

Under the cut, as it is violent and gory and definitely not to everyone's taste. Enjoy!

“Are y’all ready for some music from the good old days?!”

The screams from the crowd drilled their way into Darcy’s skull. She wanted to screw her face into a mask of pain, but she forced it to remain as blank and impassive as the weird mannequin backstage. She’d worked enough crowds to know that concert-goers were sharks in the water - a single sign of weakness, and it was all over. She’d be dragged under and drowned in the mosh pit. No, she’d have to hide her migraine with a firm glare and crossed arms. She’d done it a thousand times before, she could do it again. There was a reason these washed-up music stars kept hiring her as personal security. She was damned good at her job.

But that didn’t mean she had to like it. It was getting harder and harder to get out of bed on days that she worked. It was an easy gig, sure - she just had to stand in the wings and watch the crowd to make sure nobody tried to hop the stage, and if they did, shove them back into the pit where they belonged. It rarely happened nowadays. People didn’t have the balls they used to. Every show for the past three years had been the same, to the point that she couldn’t tell them apart if you paid her to.

It wasn’t too late to change her career path. Her mom reminded her of that every single time they talked on the phone. She was only thirty-five. There were people in their fifties that went back to college. She had enough money in savings that she could live for a few years without a job - not comfortably, mind you, but she’d have a roof over her head and food on the table, and what more could she really ask for? The real question was, what career path would she study for?

Her train of thought was interrupted before it could truly begin as the movement before her rustled a little too aggressively for her liking. Darcy tore her thoughts from their meandering train and focused on the crowd. A mosh pit was forming - weird, for a classic country concert, but she’d seen weirder. No, this was no ordinary mosh pit. Moshes involved dancing. This looked more like shoving, kicking, punching. So far, nobody was trying to climb onto the stage, so it wasn’t technically her problem… but she still had a job to do, and not reporting this could end up with her getting a bad review. Definitely something to avoid.

She tapped the button on the walkie at her hip. “Heads up,” she muttered into the microphone dangling from her ear. “Mosh pit forming. Looks pretty aggressive.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” A shrill feedback whine accompanied the dismissal, and she cringed in spite of her insistence to remain impassive. “We’ve got eyes on it. People dance harder when they’re drunk. It’s no problem.”

Darcy didn’t respond. No point, really. She wasn’t going to argue the point. This was her first time guarding someone in Bluegrass - maybe they just did concerts differently here in the sticks. Whatever, not her problem. As long as nobody got on the stage, she was happy to let them party however the hell they wanted.

Besides, it seemed venue security did have everything under control. Her eyes trailed to the back of the crowd, where two men in black uniforms wrestled a man out the side door. Maybe she’d just seen a few too many concerts gone wrong - maybe she should start trusting the security detail more. It wasn’t her circus, and these weren’t her monkeys. It would be a lot better for her building migraine if she just stood here and kept her eyes on her client, the one and only thing she was paid to do.

But she couldn’t shake that deep gut feeling that shit was about to go sideways.

Dwayne Davis stepped off the stage to shrill cheers and screams, wiping the sweat from his brow with his flannel sleeve. “What a crowd!” he crows, leaning closer to yell directly into her ear. “I could do this all night! Isn’t it positively electrifying, Darlene?”

“Darcy,” she corrected, an automatic reaction. Her eyes weren’t on him however. She couldn’t take her eyes off of two particularly aggressive men right up against the stage wall. They were dressed identically in plaid flannel and blue jeans - if it wasn’t for their differing hair colors, she’d swear they were twins. One shoved the other, the other surged back. An argument, perhaps? Or a fight in the making? Either way, it made her incredibly uncomfortable. “Mr. Davis, you should end the concert here. Fight’s brewing.”

“Are you mad?” Dwayne Davis didn’t even look at her, too busy cleaning his guitar with a dingy handkerchief. “Do you hear those screams? They love me! They need me! What kind of musician would I be if I ignored their cries for more? I just need a drink of water, then I’m going back out.”

It would be easy to stop him. Dwayne Davis was a scrawny little man, the kind that usually played the comic relief in those old western shows. Darcy was built like a brick house. It would be easy to grab his arm and drag him back out the rear exit, end this concert right now. Still, despite the almost primal urge inside her to grab her client and get out while the getting was good, she watched him toss back half a bottle of water and step back out on stage. The screams grew louder, almost unbearable against the pounding in her temples, but she couldn’t take her eyes off him. There was something about those screams that raised the hairs on the back of her neck. She’d heard plenty of encore demands in her time, but never any like this. It almost sounded like pain and fear, rather than exultation and demand.

Blood sprayed across the floor of the stage - Plaid One dug his fingers into Plaid Two’s shoulders and his teeth into his throat. Darcy was already halfway across sthe stage when Dwayne Davis let out a shrill scream as crimson splattered his imitation alligator boots. “What the - security! Help! Someone help!”

Darcy grabbed his arm. “We’re leaving.”

Dwayne Davis didn’t protest. He allowed her to drag him off the stage, his guitar bouncing off his hip. The stage trembled beneath their feet as people clambered onto it, though whether they were running from the violence or seeking to cause more wasn’t something Darcy was entirely willing to check at the moment. Their screams only spurred her faster. These were not people fleeing from the violence - these were the people causing it, and they were itching to make more. She shoved past backdrops and costume racks, barreling directly toward the back door. She had to get him out. Her paycheck depended on it.

A security guard charged toward them, screaming so loudly that it rasped against a torn throat. Blood sprayed from split lips. Darcy gritted her teeth and squared her shoulders, ready to body slam the man out of her way. Something shoved her square in the back, forcing her off-balance. She stumbled into the security guard’s arms, but he wasn’t there to help her. Dwayne Davis sprinted past, shrieking an apology that disappeared in the cacophony of agony.

I’m going to kill that motherfucker was Darcy’s last thought as the guard tore out her throat.

[thewritingmagician2022]

The Tortured Poets Department - The Anthology (Taylor Swift) - Dateables Part 2

As promised, here's part 2 - The TPD Anthology collection songs.

Barbatos: COSOSOM

So if you wanna break my cold, cold heart Say you loved me And if you wanna tear my world apart Say you'll always wonder

Like I said, this part of the album was quite hard to choose for.  I feel bad for Barbatos because I definitely think I slacked on his songs, which is surprising to me because album sounds so much more like what I think of for him than most of the others but here we are. The sound of this song in particular, so mellow and melancholy, makes me think of him. It’s got a lot of emotion packed into it but in such short, simple phrases and staying mostly calm; even the bridge is quiet intensity which is how Barbatos lives his life. I think of Barbatos being considered as heartless because he doesn’t show much feeling but it’s so untrue, especially with MC. I imagine that he never speaks up about his feelings for them and that’s why the hardest thing he could ever hear from them is them admitting their own feelings and wondering what could have been. It’s a shot to his heart knowing he could have had them but they’ve moved on and it doesn’t even matter anymore. 

Asmo: imgonnagetyouback

I, I hear the whispers in your eyes I'll make you wanna think twice You'll find that you were never not mine (You're mine)

Another Asmo song for sure. It’s sexy, bright, and not a little aggressive. Asmo firmly believes he can have anyone that he wants - everyone out there is his for the taking, whether they know it or not. That includes MC. It doesn’t matter if they play hard to get or show any interest in his brothers, Asmo is confident that he’ll have them by his side by the end of the night. And if that’s not the case? Well Hell hath no fury like a rejected avatar of lust. He can be very petty and spiteful when he feels slighted so he would definitely plan revenge if needed but, even then, he’s thinking about how he can turn this into a fun bedroom situation instead because there are so many better ways to work out those feelings, you know? 

Simeon: The Albatross 

So I crossed my thoughtless heart Spread my wings like a parachute I'm the albatross I swept in at the rescue The devil that you know Looks now more like an angel

This was a song that I considered for a few people but I feel like it fits Simeon’s story so well. Simeon is an angel - he’s supposed to be immune to temptation and to help people find their redemption. He’s known from the beginning that he should be keeping MC’s morality safe and remaining a guiding beacon of light. This becomes especially true once he sees how close she gets to the brothers and Diavolo and Solomon. MC is becoming a threat - being so close with such “bad” beings while also being the most tempting human that Simeon has ever laid eyes on. He knows he should stay away lest MC drag him down to ruin like the snake did to Eve but it doesn’t take him too long to realize that you’re not dangerous, you’re actually his salvation. You’re there to show him true happiness and freedom, and it makes him question everything he once thought was good. 

Satan: How Did it End?

We were blind to unforeseen circumstances We learned thе right steps to different dancеs And fell victim to interlopers' glances Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?

This is how I imagine things ending with Satan. The relationship has been so private and peaceful; no one ever had any clue what was going on behind closed doors. In fact, MC and Satan might not be entirely sure either. For a relationship that once seemed so strong, it’s been slowly dying since its beginning, doomed to fail once the lovers are separated until it’s just MC alone in the human realm left haunted by the ghost of their beloved. Of course everyone is just so curious because they care but everywhere MC turns they’re being asked about Satan and what happened to their relationship. For all the detective work the two of them used to do, MC can’t quite figure out exactly what happened. Just like everything else in their life, it’s over and they have to figure out how to pick up the pieces in front of everyone. 

Beel: So High School

You know how to ball, I know Aristotle Brand-new, full throttle Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto It's true, swear, scout's honor (Yeah) You knew what you wanted and, boy, you got her

Has everyone seen all the Travis being a himbo memes? Cause they are cracking me up. I feel like Beel is Travis - just a really good guy but definitely not the intellectual of a relationship, though he’s more insightful than people give him credit for. I don’t really like this song if I’m being honest but it’s so Beel-coded and I absolutely love the line about ball/Aristotle - I don’t get how anyone could hate it. I think this is very much MC, the most powerful and influential human basically ever, and her loving himbo demon boyfriend. They’re so happy in their own little bubble. It’s a relationship built on trust, comfort, and respect. They have fun and explore each other’s interests, and everything is soft and sweet like a first high school love should be. It’s not full of the same angst and insecurity the rest of the relationships are threatened with. 

Belphie: thanK you aIMee

All that time you were throwin' punches, it was all for nothin' And our town, it looks so small from way up here Screamed, "Thank you, Aimee" to the night sky and the stars are stunnin' 'Cause I can't forget the way you made me heal

Belphie as Kim? I absolutely love it. Belphie was our biggest hater by far in the beginning. He was convinced that we were the shitty one, fake and dishonest and a perfect _ of everything humanity represents, and so he does everything in his power not to only bring us down and lift himself up but also to torture us mentally during the process. His betrayal kills us, both literally and figuratively, and I know that MC would take so long to actually heal from that trauma because how do you move on when you’re constantly confronted with your killer? However, MC does move on and becomes so strong after and the bond they form with the entire family/Devildom never would have happened if it hadn’t been for Belphie’s choices. In the end, there’s something to thank Belphie for. 

Solomon: I Look in People’s Windows

I look in people's windows In case you're at their table What if your eyes looked up and met mine One more time?

This song is so sad and lonely feeling. It makes me think of poor Solomon who is doomed to outlive everyone he has ever loved and always be left behind unless he decides to run preemptively. I imagine Solomon referring to himself as a deranged weirdo who watches everything and everyone from the outside, always around but invisible. This song in particular is the epitome of what it would be like for him once MC is back in the human realm. He loves them, he misses them, no one in the world is nearly interesting enough to replace them and hold his attention. So he wanders around from place to place, always looking into the windows of restaurants and bookstores and houses, wondering if he’ll ever see them again. His thoughts are made up of what if’s and if only’s, and the none of it ever compares to the day that he looks into a window somewhere only to find MC already looking back at him (as if they didn’t spend all of their time looking out windows for him). 

Diavolo: Prophecy

Please I've been on my knees Change the prophecy Don't want money Just someone who wants my company Let it once be me Who do I have to speak to About if they can redo the prophecy?

The Prophecy is, by far, one of my favorite songs on the entire album and possibly my favorite on the anthology. It was really a struggle to decide who it fit with most (it was almost given to Mammon) but, ultimately, I thought that this song just felt so much like Diavolo. It’s beautiful, poetic and lyrical. It’s depressing and heartwrenching and full of goodness. Diavolo has revealed over and over again how truly lonely it is to be him, how badly he longs for genuine connection, how touch and affection starved he is. He’s a man who has everything in the palm of his hand - everything except love, which is the one thing he craves most of all. He thought he had it with MC and, for a short time, it was like his prayers had been answered but it was lightning in a bottle and gone before he even knew what was happening. And so the prophecy continues and Diavolo is forced to accept his fate. 

Levi: Peter

And I won't confess that I waited, but I let the lamp burn As the men masqueraded, I hoped you'd return With your feet on the ground, tell me all that you'd learned 'Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned

This was another tough one. I didn’t find anything that really super resonated with me for Levi but this was the closest I came. Levi is very much a child in some ways. By being such a shut in, he’s experienced very little social and emotional growth, even less so than most of his brothers. He loves fantasy and escaping into those adventures because he can’t actually be hurt. MC is entirely different story and, despite being so interested in them, Levi finds it very hard to commit to them beyond a playful friendship as if they’re lost boys together because anything more than that means that Levi will have to learn and grow and risk having his heart broken. MC would wait forever for him to open up, if they could, but the time comes when they have to go home and, unfortunately, Levi was just never able to take that final leap of faith and grow with them so he’s forever stuck as Peter Pan in his own little unchanging Neverland while ‘Wendy’ moves on to the future without him. 

Lucifer: The Manuscript

The only thing that's left is the manuscript One last souvenir from my trip to your shores Now and then I reread the manuscript But the story isn't mine anymore

Another tough choice. (I was being serious when I said this half of the album was hard). This song references back to Taylor dating older men and really considering what the purpose of that life lesson was and what it means for her going forward. I think Lucifer is definitely a life lesson for MC. They want to please him so badly that they’re willing to try harder to be smarter, more capable, more mature. Anything that will get his attention and maybe make him proud of them. His opinion is what matters most but, at the end of the day, MC is going right back to the human realm where Lucifer isn’t around and they don’t have to pretend to be better than they actually are anyone. They can relex and breathe and be the normal, fucked up human they always have been. It’s excruciating and MC doesn’t understand for a long time what the point of the transfer was for, if it was just going to leave them right where they started, but MC comes to realize that the journey and who we become along the way is the most important thing. Lucifer was a large part of their life story but it turns out he was only a chapter in their book, just how MC always imagined they would be for him. 

Mammon: I Hate it Here

I'm lonely, but I'm good I'm bitter, but I swear I'm fine I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on purpose This place made me feel worthless

Mammon! This is for my first and favorite man who is far more sensitive than he lets on. He lives on escapism, though not quite as overtly as Levi’s love of fiction or Satan’s reading. He is always moving, always meeting new people, always trying new things. He is spending his whole life looking somewhere, someone, to make him feel safe and happy and at home. Not that he would ever dare admit that to anyone. He hates the Devildom and what it’s turned him into. Where the brothers used to tease him with affection in the Celestial Realm, it all feels too genuine and harsh down here. He doesn’t feel like he has any value and no one can see the real him (is there even a real him anymore? If there is, it worth seeing or is the mask he wears the better choice?) MC is the only person allowed into his sanctuaries, the only person who makes the real world feel worthwhile. 

[nickgerlich]

Feel The Changes

One of the most contentious of subjects these days is climate change. It’s a politically-charged term, often misunderstood by laypeople if only because we have not been trained in science. Essentially, it includes global warming, which is strictly about surface temperature changes, but also the broader changes in climate. And for those of you playing at home, climate and weather are very different. “Weather” is what is happening right now; “climate” is the totality of a bunch of weather data points.

For those of you living in or near Amarillo, you may note we just hit ten consecutive days at or above 100F. That’s a record in these parts, although it pales in comparison to the current streak in Phoenix Arizona of 90 days. It’s almost enough to make you reach for a jacket.

But enough of the jargon, we have marketing to talk about, as well as consumer behavior. In spite of all the laughing face emojis you see on social media anytime someone posts a piece on the topic, or promotes EVs as a response, we cannot ignore it. Climate change is the elephant in the room, and if there is one thing I have learned in my increasingly long life, I’d much rather trust trained specialists in the field rather than empowered armchair critics who drink from the bottle of Dunning-Kruger. It’s what you don’t know that you don’t know that can kill you, or at minimum make you look foolish.

Besides, when the overwhelming majority of specialists in a field agree on something, it’s not a conspiracy. It’s a consensus. You couldn’t begin to pull off a conspiracy on that scale.

Marketers have their work cut out for them, though, when it comes to climate change, and the necessary message to curtail our consumption of fossil fuels. Whereas marketing was very useful in helping to reduce the portion of Americans who smoke (it is presently only 11.5%, down from about 45% in 1955), tobacco use is a strictly optional activity. Consuming fossil fuels is far more pervasive, extending far beyond the gasoline we put in our cars. It includes all of the plastics we use, synthetic fabrics, generation of electricity, and much more. It’s everywhere, and reducing our carbon footprint is tough. We can reduce it some, but getting rid of it entirely might well require us to abandon our cozy lifestyles and live off-grid in a cave with only minimal possessions.

EVs are perhaps the most visible response to the problem, but as naysayers love to point out, they too have a carbon footprint, not to mention include mining scarce minerals. For batteries. Oh, and there’s the nagging problem of what to do with expired batteries. Locally, we see hundreds of wind turbines erected in an effort to harness free wind energy, but those too have a carbon footprint, and the blades of the turbines must be disposed of. Recycling of both batteries and blades is something we can only hope for in the years ahead.

But then again, no one ever said EVs or wind turbines were perfect. They’re just better than the alternative.

Let it be known that I am on board conceptually with EVs, but I do not yet own one. They still do not have the key attributes I demand to meet my driving needs, which are range and recharge time. I also rather like a wind farm on the horizon. I envy those farmers and ranchers who lease their land for up to $8000 per year for each windmill on their land. Cha-ching.

How does marketing help effect change, though? And how does it do this without triggering the deniers who feel the need to bash something about which they truly know little or nothing? Oh, and never mind the implied overall change to lifestyles, because that’s what it is going to take, some folks being dragged into it kicking and screaming.

I don’t claim to have many answers, because this problem is larger than any of us can truly grasp, much less be able to solve. If you are anywhere near Canyon America, though, the best visual I can offer is our very own Mount Trashmore, the landfill west of town that has grown steadily throughout my 35 years here. Much of the contents in that eyesore is artifacts of our lifestyles, which have been in large part shaped by fossil fuels. Maybe someday, when they are done building it, they can make snow in winter and we’ll have skiing.

This is going to be much more difficult than the war on tobacco. This one affects each of us in varying degrees. None of us is perfect (especially me), but we can all do our part. This is all about our consumer behavior. As for marketers, it’s time to put on our creative hats and collectively figure out how to sell an idea that some don’t want to hear about.

Let’s get going.

Dr “Recycle, Reuse, Repurpose” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[starlingsrps]

where have all the bastards gone?

it’s not until they get there that elliot realizes that there is a difference between oxford and cambridge. he doesn’t think it’s that bad of a mistake to make - like how there’s a university of nebraska in omaha and one in lincoln, that’s what he thought. both schools are older than anything he’s ever seen before and probably the oldest places he’s ever been in. he mentions these things, just to make conversation, while he and sid are being escorted from the train station to their rooms. the condescending look he gets in response from an RAF flunky had been enough to tell him he’s wrong but no, he followed it up with a detailed explanation, the jackass.

“they think we’re stupid, don’t they?” he asks sid when they’re alone. they’re in what students allegedly live in but it’s nicer than anything elliot has ever been expected to sleep in. there’s a fireplace, for christ’s sake. he doesn't remember much of his year of college but he knows his dorm room sure as hell didn't have a fireplace.

“pretty much. you get used to it.” he shrugs, picks up his duffel. “kind of dated a girl who went to cambridge, made that mistake once. they take that shit seriously.”

“how the hell did you pull that off? did she hear you talk?”

“ha fucking ha.” he heads back towards one of the bedrooms. “don’t ruin my vacation, holland.”

“thought it was career development.”

“yeah, yeah whatever the colonel said.”

elliot follows him back to the bedrooms and enjoys the luxury of being able to close a fucking door for some privacy for the first time in almost a year. he unpacks and lays on the bed and hears…nothing. the quiet is going to drive him insane, he can tell already. he wants to be here but he doesn’t at the same time. as far as a career stepping stone, this is a pretty good one. he has good leadership instincts, at least that’s what they keep telling him. he still just feels like he’s doing his job but if that’s what brass thinks, then he guesses he’s not in a position to disagree. two weeks away with some privacy and not getting shot at? normally he would have been packed and waiting for the train before the conversation was over.

he really didn’t want to go. it’s time away from nell and two weeks away when she leaves at the beginning of january feels like torture. it’s nothing racy. he would love for it to be racier but there’s no goddamn time. he spent most of the last two weeks of november flying over france, trying to stay rested and keep his head in the game and not spend every single minute thinking about nell and how he can kiss her whenever he wants now.

this conference might be good for his career but it’s shit for his life.

there’s a welcome reception at the college and elliot knows better than to ask what he’s dying to (why there’s a college when there’s already a university). he hates talking to new people because he's always worried that he'll say the wrong thing or come off like an ass but, in spite of being surrounded by RAF officers, sid seems a little more relaxed. he knows damn near every army air force officer here which makes it easier for them to make conversation. eventually, they make their way over to a small table in a corner to sit and sid sighs like the air has gone out o fhim.

“half of these people make my ass itch,” sid mutters, bolting a sherry like it’s a shot of whiskey. over elliot’s shoulder, he makes eye contact with someone who causes his face to go dark. “oh fuck me.”

before elliot can respond that he’d rather buy sid dinner first, a rangy man in an RAF uniform has made his way over to their table and is beaming down at them in a benevolent way that can only signal that this is about to be another one of those uncomfortable conversations.

“halstead, old boy,” he starts.

“he’s mute!” elliot interrupts cheerfully, leaning over to punch sid hard enough on the shoulder that he’s sure they’re feeling it back at thorpe abbotts. “sorry about that. hell of a pilot though.”

sid gives him that same dark look and holds out a hand. “nice to see you, barker.” to elliot, he explains. “met at gravesden. taught you how to fly a b-17, didn’t i?”

“more or less,” he says, with an expression that indicates that sid absolutely taught him how to fly a b-17. from his wince, elliot can tell that sid shook his hand harder than strictly necessary. "you've come up in the world, i see."

he glances at the shiny major insignia on his collar and shrugs. "little bit."

"and this is?" he nods at elliot.

"captain elliot holland." he shakes his hand, tries to go easy on him with the grip but finds himself fighting it. something about this guy is, as sid said, making his ass itch. "nice to meet you."

it's really not but damnit if he's going to be rude from the jump.

"good to see you boys out during the day," sid says. "i know night bombing's got to be hell on your social lives."

barker laughs politely. "well, it does play merry hell but-"

"how do you feel about night bombing, holland?" sid asks, dragging elliot into a converastion he's not sure if he wants to be involved in. "never made a whole hell of a lot of sense to me."

"never did, now that i recall," barker responds, under his breath.

"me neither, if we're being honest," elliot says. "why not both?"

"exactly. hedge our bets."

barker sighs, as though they're neanderthals that have escaped his history books and joined him for cocktails. "daytime bombing is ungentlemanly."

"can't say i've ever been shot at by any gentlemen in the luftwaffe but maybe holland has."

elliot shakes his head. "not that i can remember."

"so i don't think i see your point, barky."

"it seems a bit unsporting, if you ask me."

"didn't." he looks at elliot. "did you?"

elliot shakes his head. "nope."

"not sure who asked you then." he cocks his head and there's something cold in his expression that makes elliot feel like he's going to have to break up a fight in the next thirty seconds. he can hold his own in a fight if he has to but if they're busting out swords or pistols or whatever the hell they use here, they're all screwed. “news flash, rupert, we’re both dropping bombs. i can just fucking see what i’m aiming at.”

barker leaves after that and the last thing elliot hears him mutter is that his name is bruce.

“technically, it’s warren dropping them,” elliot offers.

sid gives an appreciative nod. “exactly. and you know who sleeps like a baby at night? warren.” he takes the half empty sherry from elliot and polishes it off. “i’m going to say something. i'm not listening to this shit all week.”

elliot kicks him in the shin to keep him sitting. sid swears under his breath and glares but stays where he is. “leave it,” he says. “you want to start another war?”

“i’m not starting another war. i’m gonna throw him in that fucking river, that’s what i’m gonna do.”

“jesus christ. you’re here for career development. i’m here to make sure you don’t kill someone.”

[taiblogcomics]

Reptil’s No Longer Dino-Sore

Hey there, dated CGI. I didn't realise how quickly this batch of Avengers Arena was coming to an end, but yeah. This week, next week, and then we'll move on again. Time flies when you're not having fun, eh~?

Here's the cover:

See, now, if this was instead the cover of a paperback romance novel, that shit would sell like hotcakes. As it is, it's merely a cover of this series, but at least it's one of the better ones! Though if Hazmat has that much skin exposed, Reptil is probably sterile by now, if not outright riddled with radiation sickness. That's a bad way for a romance story to end. Or begin, for that matter! Or maybe dinosaurs are resistant to radiation. Who knows? I don't know if paleontologists can tell that kind of thing~

So we open by catching back up with Reptil, in case that wasn't obvious from the cover. He's starting with how he has all these fantastic dinosaur powers, including being able to swim and fly. Sorry, dude, but if that's so, then you just have prehistoric reptile powers. Dinosaurs were land only. If they lived in water or flew, they weren't dinosaurs. Except Archeopteryx. But I digress. He is, in fact, using some aquatic reptile powers at the moment, and he looks more like a big frog than any dinosaurs I could name.

So what's Reptil doing in the water? Hunting sharks and moping. The moping is mostly that dinosaur powers haven't solved all his real problems: finding his parents, getting the girl, not ending up in this crappy series. Know what turning into a dinosaur can do, though? Hunt sharks. Frankly, having food is a real problem if you ask me, so he's doing a great job. When he returns to shore, Hazmat makes him stay back long enough for her to get dressed, and then getting really hyped when she realises they're having shark steaks.

There's a few things going on with their "group". Their group of two. One is that Hazmat keeps thinking Reptil is peeping and perving on her. Like, she gets it, hormones are hormones, she's pretty understanding. She's also pretty radioactive, and that can't be good. The other issue, which they bring up over lunch, is that Hazmat really doesn't seem interested in moving on now that Reptil's burns are healed. He thinks they should find the rest of the teens, but she's pretty content to live on this beach and eat shark steaks and coconuts. Honestly, she's not wrong~

Anyways, who knows where the others are? It's not like they're going to fall out of the sky on top of them. This is when the rest of the teens fall out of the sky on top of them, the residuals of Nico's teleport spell from last issue. They explain the situation as best they can, and that's when X-23 wakes up. Fortunately, the trigger scent has worn off by now, so she doesn't immediately maul Reptil and Hazmat. Instead, Hazmat gives her a hug. Aw. Once again, I like seeing these characters actually working together and besing friends.

Hazmat offers the rest of them shark steaks, and while Nara and Anachronism (against his will) take her up on it, the others (X-23, Cammi, and Cullen Bloodstone) confront Reptil on what's going on. So, hey, you remember that issue where Reptil got burned? Turns out that was two weeks ago. I knew there were a lot of problems with this series, but one I didn't expect was its shit timescale and how bad it was at indicating how much time had passed. Like, you go back and read those issues I've reviewed since then. Does that sound like two weeks have passed? Two days, maybe.

Anyways, two weeks hanging out on the beach waiting for Reptil to heal has kinda driven the will out of Hazmat, and she's kinda content to just rot on this beach instead of fighting for her survival. Yeah, I dunno! I'm inclined to side with Hazmat on this one. If she sat here for two weeks without Arcade or Apex fucking with her, sounds pretty good to me. Nonetheless, the rest of the group decide she's a coward, and they opt to go out and see if Nico is okay. In spite of everything, they feel Nico's earned that. And, honestly, I respect that too. Leave no friend behind.

Reptil goes to Hazmat, confronting her about her attitude. She starts to undress to keep him away, but maybe dinosaurs are radiation-resistant, because he just pins her down and starts yelling how he can't stand to see her give up. After all, Mettle didn't die to see her rot away on a beach doing nothing. Yeah, she responds, in tears now, but he still died. Arcade snapped his fingers, Mettle exploded, and she couldn't do a thing about it. Being Hazmat hasn't helped at all.

And you'd expect this to be where it ends, but despite her breakdown, there's a cut to 20 minutes later, and as Reptil and the rest are prepping to leave, Hazmat turns up to go with them, having composed herself. She puts it a little pessimistically (”Let’s go die trying.”), but the spirit’s there. And Reptil ends on possibly the most positive note in the whole comic: Maybe friends are a liability in Murderworld, he thinks. But who's ever survived without having one~?

Yeah, gotta say, this is one of the better issues. You know it’s true when one of my only complaints is how bad the passage of time is displayed. Thank god for Reptil, huh? He’s breathed some optimism back into this wreck of a book. Only seven issues left, buddy! Let’s hope you can maintain it~!

[whoseyscientist]

BEST BRUCE WAYNE/ BATMAN FICS I KNOW

ok so I’ve noticed a distinct lack of fic recs surrounding bruce as a focus and figured hey, I read a fuck ton of bruce fics to fix that!! 

This is gonna be a mix of gen and shipping, for this list at least, I’m just gonna have all the longer fics with a more serious tone here- i lowkey wanna do another rec list for batfam or team bonding with the league and/or sweeter slice of life fics too (also all the other superbat fics, there were so many others but this list was already getting waay too long lol)

________________________________________________

GENERAL

I’ll Come Out Right On The Other Side

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21995317/chapters/52488031

A direct follow up to “Live While I Breathe” in which Bruce begins therapy.

His first major goal? Bettering his relationships with his kids, one at a time.

AKA: Bruce plans a bonding activity with each of his kids and generally makes a fool of himself. He thinks it might be worth it though, in the end.

Good Intentions and the Highest Hopes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35013313/chapters/87205279

Bruce offers each of his children the chance to go on vacation with him, and they get to choose the destination. Jason chooses the one place he thinks Bruce will enjoy the least, out of spite.

That’s how the two of them end up going to Disney World.

Yesterday's Voices

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11035398/chapters/24597084

While trying to take down a drug cartel that deals with memory altering drugs, things go awry, and Batman wakes up with no recollection of the last five years. As a result, his family must now race against time to find the antidote, while also having to deal with a Bruce who still thinks Jason is Robin. A Bruce who doesn't recognise most of them. A Bruce far less jaded and cynical than the one they're used to. A Bruce who still cares.

Nature and Nurture

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14519379/chapters/33545871

It was a no good, very bad night all around, and it kept getting worse.

In which the writer explores some classic tropes, indulges in some BatFam feels, and explores the effects of nature and nurture on the psyche of one Bruce Thomas Wayne.

(^ bruce gets hit with a spell and goes through different ages and bonds with each batfam through every one- it’s really really good)

Foreign Object

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7804285/chapters/17807005

Bruce Wayne deals with a serious illness, one that threatens the most crucial part of himself. He and the family try to cope with their own fears and expectations about it and then the aftermath. This is written partly as character study, partly as family drama.

A Good Place

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13515501/chapters/30999966

Damian Wayne is kidnapped and sent back years through time. Together, he and Father – who's only been Batman for a mere six months –must figure out how to return him to his own time. Over the course of the next week, Damian discovers that Mexican gangsters do not mess around, that social workers find Bruce annoying, that Bruce might be a little messed up, and that crystal chandeliers create the fondest memories.

Oh. And Alfred has hair.

Keep Your Head, Your Backbone, and Your Heart

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30878135/chapters/76242287

The last thing that Duke expected on what was supposed to be just a regular patrol was being suddenly thrown five years into the past, coming face to face with a darker, more violent Batman than the one he knew, a broken family, and a Tim who was a foot shorter than Duke, and not even Robin yet.

________________________________________________

SUPERBAT

A Common Misconception

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28374456/chapters/69587634#workskin

When Bruce Wayne comes out, he accidentally becomes the poster child of bisexuality and realizes his lifestyle of sleeping around needs to come to an end. Clark, being the supportive friend that he is, volunteers to pretend to date him for a year.

You know the rest.

Infinite

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9544220/chapters/21581087

With the help of an alien artifact Bruce is travelling to more universes than he ever thought possible. The only problem?

He can’t get back to his own.

Time To Give

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33784999/chapters/83984005

Martha Kent has lost her son; that's something Bruce can understand. A friendship that blossoms from grief and loss? Bruce can be selfish this once and allow himself at least that.

But then Martha gets her son back, and Bruce? Bruce doesn't. Living with what he's done and has had done to him? Maybe Bruce needs a little help with that. And it seems both Kents are willing to give Bruce as much time as he's willing to give them.

Until his son does come back. Both of them.

(A Superhero's Amateur Guide to Saving a Life, Falling in Love, and Preserving the Space-Time Continuum Despite) Time Travel

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25137466

There isn't anything unusual about the day Bruce dies.

Clark wishes there had been. He wishes he'd known it was coming; he wishes he'd been ready and waiting to stop it before it happened at all.

But having the chance to fix it after the fact is the next-best thing. He'll take it.

Porridge (New and Improved)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18916780

If there was no Batman, he would just have to create him. No matter what the cost. With the help of a Batman-inspired supercomputer that is close to the real thing (but not nearly close enough), Superman brings Batman to the world once more.

(^ crazyyyyy)

________________________________________________

BATLANTERN

Am I The Asshole?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28287774/chapters/69318234

Hal is sick, and Bruce helps out, and illness has a way of showing you not just who you really are, but who someone else is too. It's possible, Hal comes to realize, that he just might be the asshole. Possibly. Just maybe

What If

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22137433/chapters/52840714

(not the summary, but a note)

It's a "What if Hal came home to find out about Coast City's destruction after the fact?" and a "What if Bruce, being his general awkward but well-intentioned self, stuck his nose in?" and a "What if, Hal got a little support from his friends - take that and shove it, Parallax" kind of fic

The Little Green Light

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3785038/chapters/8419681

Bruce lets himself push back a door of possibility he really ought to have known better than to try, and gets entangled in Ollie and Dinah's complicated life. Hal Jordan has been there before, and offers him some free advice -- and then quite a bit more.

(^ honestly, any batlatern fic done by this person, literally every one)

________________________________________________

RARE(OTHER) PAIR

not really rare but more I couldn’t justify them having their own section so here’s where all the other pairs go lol

Find Your Purpose

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26624758/chapters/64921246

With the manor in flames, Bruce Wayne sets out into the world for a well deserved vacation. When he becomes separated from Alfred, Bruce finds himself trapped in a downward spiral he can't recover from.

Or at least not without help, and help comes from the strangest of places.

(^ bruce/bane- i really like how they dealt with the more political side of things and asked some real questions)

Coming Home

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12459708/chapters/28354785

After she receives his gift, Diana invites Bruce to Paris so she can tell him her story. They are interrupted when a figure from Diana's past returns with a message from Themyscira. Diana, with Bruce at her side, discovers that not all myths are myth and she is not as alone as she once was.

(^ wonderbat in my favourite flavour, protagonist diana and happy to be here bruce :))

When Another Clark Situation Becomes Something More

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40404015/chapters/101215623

This is the story of how Vigilante and Batman became an item. And it all started with Vigilante quoting Clint Eastwood in the right place at the right time. Golden Age of Hollywood cowboy movies played a huge role. And the batkids did too. But they aren't aware of that.

(^ incredibly rare vigilante/batman but it’s also really good- the writer really knows what they’re doing)

SCAR TISSUE

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38102632/chapters/95179879

Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne; once childhood friends, former young lovers, seminal business partners, coinciding superheroes, now... what?

They've shared more than their honest need of fixes, shared more than enough of their afflictions, and shared far more than one lifetime together. Left with scattered memories of their relationship, they're made to question whether they had too much together; if they still have too much remaining to answer for.

With their friendship stretched thin by matters demanding their alter-egos, failing romantic affairs, and inveterate personal burdens, they haven't seen each other in a few years but, when Bruce shows up at one of Tony's AA meetings, the pair rekindle their unremitting relationship in a way only they know how.

(^ tony/bruce- just two emotionally damaged, struggling, toxic billionaires who need each other so deeply they would rather die than be apart, yknow, as you do)

Half Way Across

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5795281/chapters/13357042

Set immediately after "The Killing Joke": Joker changes his mind on the way back to Arkham and agrees to Batman's offer to rehabilitate him.

What follows is a mess of conflicting needs, emotional ugliness and a whole lot of bad decisions, but no one ever said it was going to be easy.

(^ i know its batjokes x-x I know how ya’ll feel about the ship so i get if you wanna skip this last one but do know, it is really good. (unhealthy? definitely, but good? very much so)

[lavendertales]

Below the surface—Marc Spector x f!reader**

summary: you quite like the Moon Knight attire, as Marc and the boys are about to find out.

word count: 2.7k

WARNINGS: established relationship; cunnilingus from behind, doggy, anal & cum play, little edging & dirty talk thanks to Jake Lockley, squirting, Steven makes an appearance too. 

AGELESS/EMPTY BLOGS & MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!!!

A/N: This is exactly what you think it is: fucking in the Moon Knight suit. song inspo. 

gif: @theavengers 

read on AO3 

Marc Spector is different. Not in the way people usually claim in order to make themselves feel better about their choices. He truly is.

That’s because he lives his daily life with two other guys crammed inside his head.

No, that is not a euphemism. He introduced you to them and everything.

So yeah, Marc is different. So are Steven Grant and Jake Lockley, his partners in crime, as you began referring to them. It was always interesting trying to figure out who was going to take the reins during conversations—or more importantly, during your intimate moments with Marc.

You’d been a little reluctant to get involved with Marc at first; you knew him from way back when you struck up a lame conversation during a site digging in Egypt and have kept in touch over the years, but learning about his divorce from Layla—a gorgeous, intelligent and overall badass woman—hasn’t excited you because… well. You’ve always thought of Marc as devilishly attractive, but you saw a particular disturbance in his aura, so you’ve kept your respectable distance. Even a little more once he was single. You thought you’d give both him and Layla the curtesy of mourning their relationship if need be, and let them figure out their lives first before doing anything you might regret.

Turns out, Marc was also very ballsy when he wanted something.

Or rather, Jake was. You later found out that the reason your impromptu dinner invitation was forwarded and then accepted was because Jake decided to play that day.

But those two weren’t the only interesting fact about Marc Spector. No, of course not. Why would it be just that?

Marc was also under a God’s service named Khonshu, to punish those who deserve it. So, from time to time, he’d strap on this mysterious suit and go all vigilante on some poor unfortunate souls.

The thing is, you’ve only ever caught glimpses of the suit, of the bold Moon Knight. You couldn’t even make up much of it—you figured Marc wanted to keep you as distant as possible from the dangers of his endeavors in spite of his willingness to be truthful towards you.

Only glimpses. Till today.

He thinks you’re not at home. He thinks you’ve gone to do your research at the local library. So he walks inside the apartment, careful and yet carefree simultaneously, unaware of your glare just yet. He’s tugging at the hem of the—bandages? Is the suit made entirely of bandages? Reminds you a little of a mummy, but not so much because… this is different.

Oh, this is completely different.

You don’t say anything; you’re locked in a trance, really, simply admiring the bulky silhouette make his way about the apartment, appearing as if arranging his suit, and you cannot look away. You know underneath it is your beloved Marc and his two counterparts. The image and the knowledge work together in some sinful manner to make your blood boil in your veins and spread heat throughout your whole body, settling somewhere down below, far below the surface, simmering dangerously.

“Baby, hey!”

It’s Marc. He’s surprised to see you just standing there, paper in hand, looking at him. He’s covered from head to toe, even his face. His eyes are —hell, they’re white and bright, and under any normal circumstances, you might be afraid in the slightest, confused. But you’re not. You know who is standing right now before you.

“I thought you were—“he begins, approaching you steadily and carefully.

“I’m not. So. This the infamous Moon Knight.”

Your tone is flat, with a hint of sultry underlining it. Marc picks up on rather quickly—after all, it’s been almost a year since the two of you, as well as Steven and Jake, have been involved with each other.

“Yeah. This is—him,” Marc concludes, still hesitant.

“Why didn’t you want me to see this again?”

“Because it’s dangerous, baby. If anything were to happen…”

It’s you who approaches him, taking the reins in your hands, and thus surprising him. He’s expected a more refrained reaction from you, but he’s clearly underestimated your desire to be with him.

“Nothing’s going to happen,” you reassure him. “Nothing bad, anyway. Then again, it depends.”

Marc’s face appears before you, clear as the day. His brows furrow, confusion dominating his face altogether.

“Depends on what?” he asks.

You lick your lips, staring him up and down, and it doesn’t take him long to put two and two together. Yet, he still feels taken aback by your reaction.

“Don’t play the fool, Marc,” a coarse voice intervenes, and Marc shudders. “It does not flatter you. You know what she wants. Give it to her.”

“Real classy, Jacob,” Steven comments, and Marc can virtually hear him roll his eyes. “You could’ve framed that so much better.”

“Call me Jacob one more time, see what happens.”

“Not now, you morons!” Marc blurts out.

You smile. “I think you should listen to them.”

Marc’s frown deepens, and he feels like he’s fighting for his life with those two voices inside his head and your eager figure before him.

“How do you know what they’re saying?” he asks you.

“I don’t. But I can only assume Jake’s telling you something direct and filthy, and Steven thinks he shouldn’t say it quite like that.”

Stunned, Marc freezes in his spot. If Steven and Jake would’ve materialized themselves right now, they’d be in the same stance, the same shock becoming all three of them.

“She knows us so well!” Steven exclaims. “She’s brilliant.”

“You really know us so well,” Marc adds fondly.

You shrug. “You gotta learn the habits of those you share a living space with.”

“You’re so—“

Marc doesn’t finish his thought. He can’t, not when your doe eyes are locked on his face, so adamant about what your body wants. He shares the same need now, the same desire that’s overturning his entire composure.

“You shouldn’t be afraid to be honest with me,” you tell him, grazing his face. “I can take much more than you think.”

“That’s something to remember,” Jake grins somewhere at the back of his mind.

Marc smiles rather flustered, and you melt his every worry once your lips are on his. Everything he needs to know about this moment, about your wishes and feelings, is right in that kiss: fiery, needy, triggering pleasure centers in his brain that, up until then, have been taken up by the two inhabitants of his mind.

So Marc gladly reciprocates; he welcomes the distraction from the madness within, however long it’s bound to last. He’s eager to remove the suit, to feel you properly, skin to skin, but, as you stumble throughout the apartment till you land on your shared bed, you groan into the kiss and shake your head.

“No?” Marc checks to see if he’s understood you correctly.

“You look too damn fine to waste this moment.”

Marc can’t hide his astonishment, not even when your kisses turn sloppy and messy and you open your legs to make room for him to grind in between. Jot this down under things I’d never thought I’d be doing, Marc thinks.

It’s true that he has underestimated you; he’s been trying to sneak around in his Moon Knight attire for months, settling with the idea that you saw mere fractions of him this way, thus keeping you safe and sound. But deep down, Marc knew he could never fully hide his true self from you. And certainly not once you’d met Steven and Jake. He was still learning how to cope and function alongside you, and the fact that you stayed through the worst of it all made him rethink his decisions to hide from you.

There’s nothing to hide anymore, especially not now when he’s hastily removing the clothes from your writhing body. He cannot wrap his head around the fact that you want him this much, this desperately, and when he’s Moon Knight, no less. Marc leaves a wet trail of kisses from your mouth to your neck, progressing lower to your sternum, breasts, stomach, and at painfully long last, your sweetest spot.

Calloused hands grip your thighs to spread them further, but not before pressing light kisses on either sides of your thighs. You huff and mewl, your fingers playing with his curly hair as his mouth kisses your clit, beginning to lick up and down your folds.

Then, a sharp voice intervenes so abruptly, it nearly scares even Marc. “Turn around, Hermosa.”

You whisper Jake’s name, surprised at the change. You do as you’re told, switching positions till you’re on all fours, ass on full display. You’re not sure whether this lewd spectacle is for Marc or Jake now, but you don’t question it. And you certainly don’t care when the same mouth presses roughly on your folds and begins to devour you entirely, almost as if drinking straight from you.

A rugged moan escapes from your throat; each flick of the tongue gets you wetter and weakens your body, preparing it for the sweet implosion you so desperately crave for. One of your hands reaches back to rub circles around your clit, overstimulating yourself to the point of breakage. You don’t know which name should roll down your tongue as you’re climbing the throes of highest pleasure known to mankind, but you figure either one is good. Hell, you might even say Steven’s, just to mix things up a little.

Instead, nothing but choked sounds come out. You feel the pressure in your belly slowly building, ready to be detonated at any given point. Then again, Marc has always been godly with his mouth, so it’s not a fair game.

“Hmm, so needy… so needy and filthy. What a greedy little slut we have in our mouth.”

The voice trails off with a soft groan, humming almost, and you swiftly realize it belongs to Jake. He might have taken over the body too, you’re not sure. Doesn’t really matter because his words get you going further, adding more wood onto the fire.

“F-Fuck—“

It’s all you can muster, especially when you’re getting closer and closer.

“Let’s see what you can really handle.”

Suddenly his lips are no longer on your aching cunt and the emptiness makes you want to scream. You do squirm instead, but firm hands grip your flesh, willing you to stay in place.

Marc still cannot wrap his mind around this. It feels like an insult brought to the purpose he’d chosen to serve, to Khonshu and everything else in between, soiling the suit with these filthy endeavors. He’s never done this before, not even with Layla. It’s a wonder in and by itself, some sort of dirty miracle that he wants to remember for all of eternity.

“Be a good little slut and stay still.”

The voice is coarse and definitive. Still Jake, you conclude. You sneak a peek around you, turning your head enough to see Marc—Jake—stroking himself. Frankly, you’re a little surprised to remark how hard he is, but it’s nothing if not flattering. Your vision gets blurry the moment his cock fills you up to the brim with a single push of his hips. You feel so full and warm that you could cry on the spot and cum just from that. You start to move backwards, pushing against him, and then you hear Jake’s chuckle.

“You gonna fuck yourself on our cock? Hm? Like the desperate slut you are?”

You nod, doing your best to move enough to feel him, but it’s not enough. It doesn’t even come close to the real feeling. But it’s a good start. Though knowing Jake’s intentions, you might have to carry on like this for a while, thus forced to prove your neediness to an embarrassing degree. But do you care? Absolutely not.

And then you feel your flesh burn where strong hands grip tightly, kneading it between fingers; the same hands that now hold you while simultaneously propelling you back and forth to meet with the heated body that is finally fucking into you. While strong, there’s a certain tenderness to the grip that turns you soft as well, making you feel as equally safe as you are hot.

Steven.

The grunt and moans that ensue fill the room, a thick scent of sweat and neediness floating in the air as Marc takes you from behind. He’s mesmerized by the sight, completely enthralled by the moment and unable to think about anything else but you. The way your cunt swallows his cock, taking all of him in in the most intoxicating manner possible, your sweet noises, your warm skin… he’s never known a more poisonous, yet delicious sensation.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so—warm—“

You can’t will any words to leave your mouth; your mouth remains ajar, the only sound leaving being sinful moans, the feeling of his cock throbbing in and out of you slowly but surely knocking the air out of your lungs. Again you reach behind, finding your clit and attempting to rub circles on it to reach your high, but a hand slaps it away.

“You need more, baby?”

“Mhm—please—“

Marc slows down in the slightest, grunting as he does so; a spitting sound follow, and you feel heat and wetness around the curve of your ass.

Oh.

And then you feel a finger slowly protruding the tight ring of flesh there, boldly pushing in, all while you’re still being fucked from behind.

“You heard her, she can take so much more,” Jake teases.

“Shut up, lemme—“

“She’d take all we’d give to her.”

“Jake, I swear—“

“Fuck, baby—“

“That good?”

You desperately nod, the fullness overwhelming you. It’s wild and unprecedented, but you welcome it dearly. It’s too good to put an end to it now. So you start pushing backwards again, the feeling of his cock inside you and his index completely clouding your mind.

“She’s so good, damn it—“Steven coos somewhere in the back.

“Such a needy slut, this one. Needy and desperate for us, always dripping wet,” Jake adds mischievously.

Marc forces himself to turn off his mind and focus solely on you again. He resumes his pace, a little faster now, while maintaining a reasonable speed for your ass. He’s just as overwhelmed, if not more, and he feels so close, so dangerously close—but he wants to feel you first. He has to feel you tip over the edge of pleasure first. Then he’ll come too.

“M-Marc, I’m—I think—“

“Yeah? You’re—you gonna come for me?”

“Mhm, fuck—fuck, yes—“

“Good girl, come on, do it, baby… do it for me, please—please, let me feel you—“

It’s a blur after that. Your walls flutter around his cock, nearly strangling it inside you, but it’s more than that. It’s a lot more, actually: you keep coming, like waves of pleasure who wash over your shore, unable to stop, soaking his cock completely and spilling seemingly everywhere. Marc doesn’t mind, nor does he care; your reaction triggers his own climax, and he quickly pulls out, painting your ass with his seed.

Spent, Marc can only watch the filthy mess the two of you have made over the bed and your ass, oddly enticed. He licks his lips, suddenly aware that he’s still technically Moon Knight. He can only hope this little stunt will go unnoticed and unspoken of by Khonshu.

“Told you I can take more than you think,” you breathe, a smile grazing your lips.

“You did,” Marc chuckles, gently turning you around to kiss you.

“Next time we’ll fill her right up from the back,” Jake groans at the back of his mind. “See how much she can take then.”

Marc doesn’t correct him. He keeps that naughty wish between them. For now.

[thatsparrow]

post-banshees of inisherin thoughts

the quick n dirty bullet point rundown of the, like, 40-min conversation my mom and I had about this while hiking earlier (spoilers ahead, ofc)

beautiful. this one goes without saying, but truly, every shot of the landscape is the most stunning vista you’ve ever seen. god let me live in colm’s house on that bay

the setting and environment is so specific (and claustrophobic, almost, despite the grandeur of the scenery) in a way that’s so vital to the story. in terms of the town, we only ever see the same handful of streets, the same three or four buildings, the same two-block stretch of storefronts and the harbor. because it’s set in the ’20s, we of course have no phones or tv, but no radio even. it’s an island off the coast of an island. there’s no sense of needing to labor to make ends meet, and so there’s an abundance of free time that lends itself to how quickly things unravel. pádraic asking “do you think I have nothing better to do with my time” and colm saying, “yes, you have nothing better to do with your time.”

jenny my beloved :(

feels rare that you get a story about a friend breakup that’s treated with the same gravity and intensity of a romantic relationship ending. of course pádraic loses his mind—what else does he have (never mind that their friendship didn’t make much sense to begin with.) who could see an ex-anything having the time of their life after they’ve cut you out of it and not feel needy, desperate, insecure, hopeful, jealous, manic (which is also why the ending feels like it leaves the two of them in a very co-dependent, destructive place that seems very reflective of a romantic relationship gone bad. colm’s not looking to punish himself for pádraic’s company anymore. he didn’t stop pádraic from burning down his house, but he didn’t let himself die either. pádraic’s violence and follow-through has finally made him interesting enough to colm to renew the relationship, even if it now seems inevitable that it will end with one of them dying)

truly the scene that clinches the movie for me is when siobhan goes to return the first finger and tries to understand what’s gotten into colm, and he says that it’s because pádraic is dull, and she fires back that they’re all dull—it’s colm’s inflated sense of self-importance and the value of his own time that sets everything in motion, but is it really earned? of course not, but here’s siobhan telling him as much. he’s not special, and neither are you. none of us are

only saw it once, and so am working off last night’s memory of the costuming and color usage, but special shout out to that bright yellow coat that siobhan wears when she finally leaves inisherin

the whole question at the heart of it—what makes a life worth being lived? to be kind to those around you, and to be remembered as such, even if it’s only for a generation, or to dedicate all your efforts to creating something that lives on after you, no matter the cost. how does that play out? all pádraic’s got is his niceness, and that’s burned out of him by the time the movie’s done. colm’s spited himself enough to prove his point to pádraic that he can’t play the violin anymore. but who’s to say the story of this disastrous friendship won’t live on after the both of them are gone?

overall impression: I’m glad I saw it, and I’ll likely never watch it again

[testudoaubrei-blog]

Well, it’s not quite a master’s thesis, but this is (the first of) a series of posts on why Catra and Adora are the best love story in the history of kids TV animation and maybe the greatest love story in the history of TV. This may in some ways be faint praise - romance on TV is generally not very good compared with books or movies. Often it’s just some will they/won’t they sexual tension that is defused by getting characters together and re-heightened by breaking them up. TV is full of nearly shark jumping pointless dramas like Sam and Diane (Cheers, holy fuck am I dating myself, though that was technically before my time), Ross and Rachel (Friends, which was no Cheers) etc, but also some less annoying couples like Ben and Leslie (Parks and Rec) or Amy and Jake (Bk99) who are mostly just kind of cute and fun. Other shows, like the X-Files, teased viewers for years with unresolved sexual tension. In kids shows most romances are, appropriate for their target viewers, mild, sweet relationships based more on self-conscious flirting and blushing than on complex and conflicted feelings or deep passions - which is pretty realistic when the characters are young teens or even mid-teens. Some of these relationships are really well done - Finn and Flame Princess, Dipper and Pacifica (yeah I ship them), the early stages of Katara and Aang (before the showrunners imbued this childhood crush with cosmic significance), Steven and Connie, etc. Catra and Adora, though, are different. Their love story is not a side plot or a sub plot, it’s the heart of the show. It isn’t a childhood crush, it’s a very messy and passionate relationship between two young adults. She-Ra is an emotionally complex lesbian romance just as much as it is a thrilling action/adventure show. Everything about their relationship is baked into the show’s plot, its themes, hell even its musical score. The dramatic tension between Catra and Adora is not the result of stretching out a flirtation for ratings, but a coherent dramatic arc that runs through the entire show. As Noelle said, he made Catradora so central that execs couldn’t take it out without ruining the show. And the show is better for it. In this series of posts I’m going to try to show why, as well as showing why She-Ra is such a fantastic love story.

First off, let’s talk about how Catra and Adora’s character arcs are foils for each other, and how they come together and apart through the series. This is actually a post that I’ve been working on for a while but I keep summarizing the show rather than cutting to the chase, so I’m not going to recite many plot points so much as sketch out what’s going on with the dramatic structure at the time. But also, let’s talk about what each character’s arc is saying, and how they are commenting on each other. Spoiler alert: Catra’s arc is a subversion and critique of stories of empowerment through ruthless self-assertion and revenge, while Adora’s arc is a subversion and critique of chosen one narratives and stories of self-denial and self-transcendence.

When the show starts, Adora and Catra are shown as rivals and friends - their first scene starts the recurring motif of them reaching out for each other as one of them dangles above an abyss, as well as establishing their flirtatious banter and easy camaraderie. We quickly learn that these two young women plan to conquer the world together. These scenes and later flashbacks show Catra and Adora as deeply enmeshed in each others lives, to the point where neither of them (but especially Catra) have clear identities outside of one another. There is so much genuine love on both sides before Adora leaves, but also resentment, envy and fear, especially on Catra’s side, as well as a protectiveness on Adora’s side that deprives Catra of her autonomy. They are both being abused by Shadow Weaver - Catra physically  and emotionally, Adora emotionally. It wouldn’t be too much to say that Shadow Weaver holds Catra hostage to control Adora (this is why critiques that Adora abandoned Catra to be abused are actually kind of messed up, since they accept Shadow Weaver’s premise that Adora is responsible for what Shadow Weaver does to Catra). In addition, Catra and Adora actually see the world incredibly differently. Adora already sees the world in terms of right, wrong and her destiny to right wrongs - this is why it’s important for her  to accept the Horde’s obvious lies - she couldn’t keep living if she didn’t. Catra, on the other hand, sees the world solely in terms of survival and personal loyalty - everything for her is about preserving herself and the person she cares about - Adora.

Then, when Adora finds the sword, she leaves because it’s the right thing to do. Catra doesn’t even have a concept of ‘the right thing to do’ being something she should care about, or perhaps, something she can care about as an irredeemably evil, awful fuck-up. So at Thaymor neither one understands where the other is coming from, and Catra and Adora begin to part. This is the first turning point in their relationship. Adora chooses duty over what she desires, Catra chooses to protect herself (such as she sees it) and nurse her sense of betrayal and abandonment.

Their relationship until Promise is a kind of weird Frenemy thing that is fascinating to watch and sold me on the show. Neither one wants to fully admit to themselves that the other is now their enemy, neither one has given up on changing the other’s mind. Each is furious at the other, and desperate to see her again at the same time. There’s a lot of heartache and just as much sexual tension, especially at Princess Prom. Both of them come alive when they fight each other (more about that in a later post). But they’re already growing apart - Adora embracing her destiny as She-Ra, Catra rising in the ranks for the Horde. Adora now has the purpose she always wanted, plus other friends and a sense of being chosen to do something great, while Catra now has power - the means to protect herself from people like Shadow Weaver as well as the vindication she had always been denied, and even the opportunity to beat Shadow Weaver at her own game.

The next turning point is Promise. Holy fuck, this episode. It’s an episode that is even more heartbreaking after you’ve watched the show because you know just how much worse things are going to get, and yet, it’s a necessary part of both of their character arcs. Even through season 1 Catra and Adora had remained very much enmeshed in each others lives in an increasingly fucked up way as they grew apart but refused to turn away from each other. Even though they aren’t -exactly- a romantic couple (Adora doesn’t recognize and acknowledge her feelings until the last episode of Season 5), Season 1 of She-Ra is one of the worst breakups I have seen on TV. As I said in a couple of previous posts, this is the kind of shit that the Mountain Goats write songs about. Everything that was poisoning their love for each other even before episode 1 bubbles to the surface and combines with them fighting on opposite sides of the war to make a truly fucked up situation. In the end, it’s Catra that makes the choice to turn away from Adora. This isn’t a -good- decision. It’s spiteful, and destructive, and based on an outright deluded understanding of their relationship (inspired by Light Hope’s manipulations and her own issues), but it’s in some ways a necessary decision. Catra has been so wrapped up in Adora for so long that she isn’t going to be able to figure out who -she- is without cutting Adora out of her life. And the same is true of Adora.

But each of them do this in about the worst way possible. Catra embraces destruction, ambition, manipulation and outright cruelty, turning the tactics of her abusers against them and against everyone around her. She first triumphs over Shadow Weaver and manipulates Entrapta into trying to corrupt Etheria itself. Meanwhile Adora ‘lets go’ and commits herself to the self-denying mantle of She-Ra. Over the next several seasons, their respective paths will nearly lead both Catra and Adora to their deaths (in the Season 4 finale).

For the next season (counting season 2 and 3 as one) Catra and Adora are still closely linked, but as enemies. Still, there’s more than enough flirtation between them (that ‘Hey Catra’ in the first episode of Season 2 is something else), and especially on Adora’s side we see her hold back with Catra, and often take responsibility for the harm Catra inflicts, just like she had when they were kids. Yet they still drift apart - after facing off every other episode in Season 1, they spend less and less time on screen together through season 2 and 3. Catra continues her ascent to power and descent into villainy while Adora becomes more of a stressed out mess as she takes the fate of the world and the wellbeing of everyone she cares about on her admittedly broad shoulders. Catra’s one moment of vulnerability is rewarded by Shadow Weaver’s betrayal and her exile, then Catra triumphs in ruthless badass fashion through sheer desperation and aggression. In the Crimson Wastes, we see Catra at her most independent, and she almost seems happy. But once Adora shows up and Catra hears about Shadow Weaver, she’s sucked back into the worst of her resentments, and she makes very clear that being happy is less important to her than making sure Adora is miserable.

This changes everything. Catra completely breaks with reality and tries to kill Adora, herself and the world rather than lose to Adora and Shadow Weaver (I do think it’s important to remember that she does that after Shadow Weaver nearly kills her). Catra betrays everyone around her when she exiles Entrapta, threatens Scopria and lies to Hordak. Then she flips the switch. When Adora tries to fix things, Catra fights to her own death to make sure that the world disintegrates with her. For her part, Adora fights first to understand what is wrong with the world and then to fix it. Finally she tells Catra that destroying the world is her choice and she has to live with it, decks her, and then sees her off with a death glare once the portal is closed. With this, Adora writes Catra off even if, as she says later, she never never hated her. By doing that, Adora casts off the guilt that had dogged her and takes responsibility for her own life rather than someone else’s - this is actually a huge step for her, and one that will become more important in Season 4.

Season 4 is in many ways the nadir of their relationship. They only see each other once during the entire season, in Fluterrina, when Adora tries to blast Catra, much to the latter’s shock. There’s a sense in that scene that Catra is trying to have the same flirtatious enmity she used to have with Adora, and Adora is having none of it. Catra almost seems hurt by this, which is an early hint at how isolated Catra is beginning to feel. Catra spends the rest of the season at her highest and lowest. On the one hand she spends most of 12 episodes winning by every standard she has ever claimed to care about, besting Hordak himself in single combat and making herself co-ruler of the Horde and coming within a day’s march of ending the Rebellion. In many ways it is the ultimate empowerment fantasy - the abused young woman has defeated her abusers, showed up everyone who doubted her and forced everyone to respect her. But I think it’s striking that the show starts with her and Adora dreaming of conquering the world together and in Season 4 Catra nearly succeeds in conquering it alone, almost like she was trying to live out her old shared fantasy while proving she didn’t need her former best friend. 

At the same time, Catra is clearly miserable. She’s always been unhappy, but in Season 4 we see her completely isolated and lying to herself and everyone who will listen in a desperate attempt to justify her actions. Turning the tactics of Hordak and Shadow Weaver against them to gain power and then against Scorpia and Entrapta to maintain it haven’t vindicated Catra, they’ve made her more and more alone as Entrapta is exiled and Scorpia drifts away. Meanwhile Catra reaches out to Double Trouble, and her interactions with them reek of a kind of desperate desire to have someone in her life (the feeling of their interaction is of an unhealthy casual relationship where one partner becomes emotionally invested and the other takes advantage of that while denying the other the closeness they desire). As people leave her, one after the other, it becomes clearer and clearer that Catra doesn’t want power at all - she wants connection, friendship, love, and power is a very poor replacement. As I said in my long Catra rant, Season 4 is both her ‘Walter White as a Catgirl’ season and the beginning of her redemption. Everything comes to head when Sparkles destroys everything Catra has tried to achieve, Double Trouble delivers those harsh truths and Horde Prime shows up and makes it all irrelevant, just highlighting how futile all her struggles and sacrifices and crimes have been.

Meanwhile Adora spends Season 4 becoming her own her and her own woman. After telling off Catra, she grows more and more disillusioned with Light Hope and critical of Glimmer (though the latter has more than a shade of her old habit of taking responsibility for others - Adora’s development is not linear). She’s gained the courage and confidence to strike out her own path, not just follow a destiny. At the season’s end she once again breaks with her best friend to do what is right, and discards the destiny that she was being prepared for. But in this case she isn’t chasing one packaged destiny for another, instead she’s making her own choice and literally shattering the thing that she thought gave her life purpose. It’s badass, and heartbreaking, and along with decking Catra and jumping after Catra into the abyss (see below) it’s the perfect Adora moment.

In many ways Season 5 starts with Catra and Adora farther apart than they have ever been. They aren’t even enemies anymore, they’re completely out of each other’s lives. And both Catra and Adora are lost at the beginning of Season 5 - Catra is useless and alone on Prime’s ship, completely defeated despite ostensibly being on the winning side, and she goes through the motions of her normal plotting without any particular conviction and none of her normal flair. Meanwhile Adora is even more miserable and self-destructive than usual, throwing herself at Horde Bots and working herself until she drops of exhaustion. In a very real way they both stay lost until they have a chance to help the other. Catra takes responsibility for what she’s done and what she can do, saves Glimmer (at least partly for Adora’s sake), apologizes to Adora, and sacrifices herself. Adora only seems to come alive when she decides to turn around, face Prime, and save the cat. And when she does, Catra and Adora’s arcs, which had separated so completely in season 4, come crashing back together to end the series.

Adora during Save the Cat is such a contrast with the uncertain, hesitant and self-destructive wreck we’ve seen so far in Season 5. This is possibly her craziest plan in 3 years of mostly cazy plans, but she never wavers or questions herself. Even when Chipped Catra appears and we see Adora’s heart break while we watch, Adora doesn’t back down or relent. She keeps at it even as the tears stream down her face. She fights better trying to save Catra without She-Ra’s powers than she fought at the Battle of Bright Moon with them. Catra’s just about as desperate - we see her cry and plead, and now is probably as good a time to any to point out how amazing a job both VAs did throughout the show, but especially in this episode, and how good a job the board artists did. 

Seeing each other for the first time in a year, and only the second time since Catra blew everything up, Catra and Adora are probably the rawest and least restrained we’ve ever seen them. There’s barely any banter, no bravado, and no pretense that they are anything other than two women who desperately need each other (Prime doesn’t help with ‘You broke my heart’.) Then Catra is flung to her death, Adora jumps after her, breaks both her legs in the fall (we see her crawl to Catra, as though she couldn’t walk) and becomes the real She-Ra. It’s such a triumphant and deeply queer moment seeing a woman transformed into a warrior goddess to protect the woman she loves, and it’s the reason that, as dark as it is, Save the Cat is my Comfort Food episode.

Let’s not sleep on Taking Control, though. This episode is like a microcosm of what this show does best, especially the A plot with Catra and Adora. Catra’s reversion to lashing out at everyone and her refusal to be open to Adora shows just how much of a struggle this whole ‘being good and trying to connect to people’ thing is. Catra’s outburst gives Adora a chance to stand up for herself and refuse to be Catra’s punching bag, while also not trying to control her. Adora’s ultimatum gives Catra a chance to reach out to Adora (quite literally), and allow herself to be vulnerable. In this episode, we see just how far Catra and Adora have come since the messed up stew of their relationship in Season 1. Adora lets Catra be responsible for her own actions; Catra lets herself be vulnerable to Adora and takes responsibility for her actions. They’re both better people and better friends and better partners than they were, and the show has shown this in a strikingly nuanced and realistic way. 

The important thing to note in the next few episodes of Season 5 isn’t just how much closer Catra and Adora get to each other and how much they flirt (So much. So much, y’all) but just how -happy- they are. We see both of them transformed in the other’s presence. Basically, since they’ve parted, both Catra and Adora have been defined in no small part by how miserable they often are. They have both had their triumphs and their lighter moments, but there’s been a sense of melancholy dogging both Catra and Adora since episode 1. And now that they’re together again, that lifts, somewhat. Catra’s verbal barbs have lost their venom, and she can openly show how much she cares for Adora and even Bow and Glimmer. She’s still herself - snarky, cynical, somewhat devious - but she’s not engaged in a self-destructive zero-sum struggle with everyone around her. Meanwhile Adora has spent 4 seasons being a neurotic and sometimes nearly joyless mess who takes responsibility for everything and often doesn’t let herself enjoy anything other than the odd BFS group hug (exceptions include trying to uh...impress Huntara and reveling with the butterfly ladies of Elberron in Flutterina).  Around Catra, though, she’s a cocky, swaggering jock who gives as good as she gets. It’s a side of Adora we’ve only seen hints of before, and one that’s so much more confident and joyful even as the world is ending around her. Apart, Catra had tried to protect and vindicate herself with power and conquest, while Adora had tried to forget herself in duty and sacrifice. Together, they can be themselves again. This dynamic is crucial to the show’s portrayal of Catra and Adora’s romance because it doesn’t just show how much they love each other, but how they’re -good- for each other now that they’ve grown as people, and that they are so much better than they were when they were apart.

Until Shadow Weaver shows up. Their old abuser reintroduces tensions but even then things are different than they were. Now Catra isn’t just resentful of how Shadow Weaver prefers Adora - she’s  protective of Adora, which is clearest in Failsafe when she calls Shadow Weaver out for being willing to sacrifice Adora. And while Adora takes the Failsafe, it isn’t to follow her destiny or because she has a death wish - it’s because she loves her friends, and she is the only one who has any hope of doing this and living (though Catra’s suggestion that Shadow Weaver take it is a good one). And finally, when Catra leaves Adora, it isn’t because she hates Adora, nor, despite what she says, is it because she really thinks that Adora chose Shadow Weaver. At least, not exactly. It’s because Catra loves Adora, and can admit that to herself, and can’t stay around and watch the woman she loves sacrifice herself rather than choosing Catra. Before Catra leaves, she asks Adora ‘What do you want?” It’s a question that echoes Shadow Weaver’s speech in Episode 1: ‘isn’t this what you always wanted since you could want anything?’ As much as Adora has grown as a person, and defined herself and stood up for what she thinks is right, she still has never answered that question - it’s never been ‘what do I want’ but ‘what do I have to do?’ and that’s how Adora answers Catra’s question. This is Adora’s last gasp as a self-transcending hero, letting go of what she wants (not that she ever dared articulate what that was) in order to do what must be done. And it nearly kills her and dooms the universe, because Adora can’t be the hero that she needs to be by being anyone less than herself.

But it’s losing Catra that inspires Adora to tell off Shadow Weaver for good (not that she’d ever really warmed to her after season 1). And it’s love for Adora that inspires Catra to stand up to Shadow Weaver and demand that she do the right thing. In both cases, Catra and Adora aren’t just standing up to their abuser, but holding her to account for the harm she’s caused, and it’s the love that they have for each other that inspires them to do this. In Catra’s case in particular her refusal to let Shadow Weaver weasel out of finding Adora is a much greater triumph over Shadow Weaver than beating her up and breaking her mask in Season 1 - it’s proof not so much to Shadow Weaver but to Catra herself that Catra really is better than this and that she deserves better than this. It’s not turning her abuser’s tactics against her, but truly holding her to a moral standard and demanding that she do the right thing.

And then there’s Catra and Adora together at the heart. Catra has already come back for Adora and stayed to the end, choosing to die with her even if she can’t share a life together (not out of some death wish, but because Adora needs her). And Adora, who’s been avoiding answering the question for three fucking years, finally let’s herself want Catra when Catra finally confesses her love (breaking the last of her self-protective shields) and asks Adora to stay -for her-. And by admitting what she wants, Adora can truly be at peace with herself and be the hero she needs to be, lesbianism saves the universe, The End.

So anyway, that’s how Catra and Adora’s stories are woven together and how they compliment and comment on each other. Narrativiely, Adora and Catra start together, come apart, find something of themselves, and truly find themselves and each other when they are reunited. Thematically, they are critiquing seemingly opposing narrative tropes - empowerment narratives and narratives of self sacrifice. But by showing the flaws in both types of story and showing how neither self-seeking empowerment nor self-negating self sacrifice can actually make us happy, She-Ra asks and answers more profound questions than most prestige dramas for adults do. I’ll get into how the show sells the idea that the power of love can bring us happiness (and save the world) in a future post. But next up, I’m going to celebrate just how much Catra and Adora’s relationship revels in ambiguity, complexity and contradiction and so tells a grown up love story in a kid’s show.