#things that used to upset me or made me so anxious i wanted to literally explode and die dont affect me anymore

[ruairy]

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[fuckingarataswespeak]

School stress and scary kid update for those who know whats going on:

[nightsmarish]

Summary: you find a dog and Sirius isn't so sure about keeping it

Poly!wolfstar x reader (Sirius Black x Remus Lupin x reader) | 1.2k

Tw: mentions of vet, reader think Sirius might be mad they brought a dog home, talk abt shitty weather, Sirius sitting on readers lap, reader oogaling Sirius' thighs

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆⊹₊ ✰ ⋆⊹₊ ✰ ⋆⊹₊ ✰ ⋆⊹₊ ✰ ⋆⊹₊ ✰ Remus sits in the arm chair in the living room, book open but he's mostly zoned out. Sleep has been evading him like Sirius evades doing the dishes. And it's likely that knowing that you're not home yet from your late shift has been making him anxious, normally Sirius would be up with him, waiting for you, but he has been utterly exhausted lately, so he doesn’t blame him for being able to sleep. 

The door unlocking breaks whatever trance Remus was in, hearing you try and be quiet while you shut it and toe off your shoes. Remus stands up, placing a bookmark to mark his place as he makes his way to the entryway.

“Hi, dove.” His voice is soft and warm. You face him, face lighting up despite your exhausted features.

“Hey Rem.” You're holding your jacket in your arms, smiling guiltily.

“....what do you have there?” 

“Listen- you- Sirius might be upset. So just, keep this between us? For tonight?” You rush out your words, having practiced how you would explain yourself on the way home. 

“Show me what you have and then we can talk.” His lips quirk up in amusement as he crosses his arms over his chest.

You hesitate for a moment before moving your coat. Remus walks closer to look into the little nest you made, where he sees a small ball of fluff.

“Merlin…” Remus mumbles as he follows you to the kitchen in your shared townhouse. 

“I found him outside of work, I couldn’t just leave him.” slowly moving the small puppy onto the counter, making sure its still asleep before going to the fridge to find something for the little thing to eat. 

You're not wrong for bringing the puppy home, and Remus knows that. It's been freezing out and raining heavily for days, he can’t imagine how pitiful the animal must have been outside. 

“I’ll- I'll take him to the vet tomorrow. Or find one open tonight. I swear, and we can all decide what to do from there.” You pull out some of the fancy lunch meat Sirius had bought for the sandwiches Remus has been taking to lunch this week, taking a slice and ripping it up on a small paper plate.

“Dove… I think we should wake up Pad.” Remus is slightly cautious despite it being his idea, knowing Sirius has always been a bit wary about the idea of getting a dog because he is a dog. Metaphorically and literally. 

You're filling up a small bowl with water, “I know, we should. I just- i don’t know. He's had a really long week and he's tired, and I don’t want to make it more exhausting because I brought home a dog.” 

“I know, but if he comes down for a class of water and you're hunched over a dog, he's gonna be half asleep and likely freak out a bit.”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll go wake him up. Can you see if he wants to eat or drink anything? Please?” You start making your way out the kitchen when you hear Remus confirm he can. 

Walking up the stairs, the door is cracked open to the bedroom, the light moon filtering in through the drapes and onto the bed. The bed where Sirius is dead asleep, hair messy, and shirt ridden up. You sit on the bed, gently brushing the hair out of his face.

“Siri? Baby?” Sirius stirs, groaning and reaching for your body, trying to trap you in bed with him. “Baby- Sirius we have a dog.” 

The laziness in his motions immediately stops, opening his eyes with furrowed brows and sits up. “What?”

“I found a dog, he's down stairs. I think I’m gonna find a 24 hour animal hospital to take him to.” You fidget with the hair tie on your wrist, not looking at his reaction. 

“Where did you find a sodding dog? In this weather?” Sirius rolls out of bed, standing in front of you, rather distracting in his boxers and concert shirt that you're pretty sure is yours. 

“Outside, near my work.” You shamelessly stare at his thighs, littered with a few tattoos that are a stark contrast to his pale skin. 

“And you brought it home?” 

“Yep, he's downstairs, wanna meet him?”

And Sirius does meet him, the little ball of white and brown fur. Even he had to admit the little thing was adorable (he thinks he's cuter but that wasn’t the conversation at the time). Both the boys accompany you to the 24 hour animal hospital you found. 

The puppy is rather healthy, a little under fed, and still shivering like a leaf. But caring for him back to help wouldn’t be too challenging. The next few days, the puppy remains in your home.

ᯓ★

“I wanna keep him.” You break the calm atmosphere of the house, Remus mixing batter for muffins, while Sirius sits on the counter and ‘helps’ while his record player softly plays in the background. 

“The dog?” Sirius whips his head back, Remus glancing over as well while he continues to mix. 

“No, I wanna keep james. Yes, the sodding dog.” Said dog, is sitting on your stomach while you lay back on the couch, watching oogaling Remus work. 

“I mean, I’m not opposed  to it.” Remus speaks up before Sirius can make a snide, and likely inappropriate response including James and him being called puppy. 

"I don't know..." Sirius glares, albeit softly, at the puppy, "I don't want dog fur on my clothes. And we don't know what breed he even is, he could grow to be huge. Like, part Tibetan Mastiff or something."

You hold the puppy's little face, pointing him to face Sirius, "but look at this little face! Cm'on baby, he's so cute!"

Sirius looks at the puppy, sleepily nuzzling closer to your hands, allowing you to do with him as you wish.

Remus watches Sirius' resolve dissolve quickly, "merlin... fine, we can keep him. But we should get him a DNA test. And neutered. And I still want to lay on you as padfoot, I get veto."

Remus smiles, pouring the batter into the muffin tin, “We should name him then, he deserves to be called more than the dog.”

“Padfoot jr?” 

Sirius looks at you like you've shot his mother, if this was a magical alternate universe where she was lovely. “No”

His reaction makes you laugh, disturbing the puppy, so he gets up and hops off the couch to go find somewhere else. Having gained a lot more comfort in this environment than his first day there. “You don’t want him to be your legacy?”

Sirius hops off the counter, walking to where you're laid back, moving on you to straddle your lap. “I am my own legacy, darling.”

Both you smile at each other, your hands moving up to hold onto his hips. Remus puts the tin in the oven and sets the timer, glancing at the record player, playing Cherry Bomb before joining you two. “What about Cherry?”

Both of you glance at him, “Like the song by The Runaways?” Sirius asks, smiling at the idea. 

“That’d be cute!” you sit up, only part way so he doesn’t fall off your lap. 

“With that logic, we should just name him Queen, if we are going off iconic songs.” 

“Yeah, but Queen isn’t a song, it's a band.” You sit up the rest of the way, taking Sirius with you. 

“Killer Queen is a song.” Remus points out.

“I like Cherry.” you hum, as Sirius dips down to kiss you.

[charliekomori]

Like fear, like love.

Summary: Some of the diaboys comforting you when you have an anxiety/panic attack.

Characters: Shu Sakamaki, Ayato Sakamaki, Laito Sakamaki, Subaru Sakamaki, Ruki Mukami, Kou Mukami, Yuma Mukami, Azusa Mukami, gn! reader.

Tags/warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff, mentions of anxiety.

❀ Shu Sakamaki.

“The grounding warmth of a blanket in the cold hours of dawn; vivid sun hues on the dull horizon.”

When you are scared or anxious, Shu is the type to pull you down into bed (or whichever random place he happened to fall asleep at) with him. Even if he seems unbothered, his heart literally breaks when he sees you going through trying times.

So he tries to do for you what works for him; trying to get you to rest, even sharing his earphones with you, the soothing notes of a classical melody lulling you into dreams with him.

And you can’t see it, but his ocean eyes soften when you finally calm down, having fallen asleep with your hand still in his.

His free hand brushes stray hairs away from your eyes,

“Sweet dreams.” He murmurs. 

Even though he doesn’t like to see you suffer, he’s happy he can take care of you.

❀ Ayato Sakamaki.

“Sparks of a crackling fire, propagating against the rain, brighter than lightning.”

At first glance, Ayato might not seem like the mist detail-oriented guy, but he is pretty perceptive and intelligent despite his silly moments (and he is not given enough credit for it!)

Especially, when it comes to your feelings and little shifts in your mood.

Initially, he tries to lighten the mood with his usual “Oi, you should be happier to be in the presence of Ore-sama, why are you looking so depressed?”

But when all you give him is a meek hum, then you can see a concerned crease between his brows, that cute expression he does where he goes wide eyed and pouts a little.

The redhead wraps his arms around you, leaning his head on your shoulder, a silent invitation to play with his hair, to keep you distracted.

“If something’s happened, you know I, the great Ayato, will protect you.”

❀ Laito Sakamaki.

“The language of wordless lips over heated skin, the unholy touch of deft hands in the dark.”

Laito’s probably the most versed in understanding another’s feelings out of everyone here. A subtle change in the way you move and carry yourself, the small crease in between your brows, or the way your jaw tightens; those speak volumes to him, and he knows right away that something is not right.

He tries to distract you in the way he knows better: sultry words whispered in your ear, in the dim light of his bedroom; his hand sneaking beneath your shirt, lingering dangerously low on your hips; his sensuous lips trailing your neck and shoulder, pointed fangs sinking in your skin, the afterglow of his kisses ardently addictive.

You try to stop him at first, not because you dislike what he’s doing, but rather that you don’t want to burden him.

To bring back the memories.

To make him feel like you’re just using him to relieve your tension.

Of course, he notices that, too.

“You’re nothing like her, bitch-chan.” He whispers in between lovebites. “So for tonight, give into me, okay? Nfu ~”

❀ Subaru Sakamaki.

“The tender brush of white rose petals scattered into the night, their familiar sweet scent fending off eternal shadows.”

When you’re upset or dark thoughts have you overthinking, the first thing that crosses Subaru’s mind is “is this my fault?”

For a moment, he starts fearing for the worst himself, did he upset you in any way? Did his tainted self hurt you? Would you be better off without him?

However, all of those ideas die out as soon as you cling to him, your face buried in his chest, his cheeks blooming in pretty rose.

Subaru hesitates for a moment, but then he holds you, even if a little awkward at first. 

Needless to say, he wants to punch anyone and anything that made you feel so anxious, but you need him now, in the same way he’s needed you on endless nights when all he knew was despair.

“I love you.” He whispers softly, crimson eyes closing as he nuzzles into your hair, leaving the softest of kisses there. “I’m here.”

❀ Ruki Mukami.

“The soothing truth of irrefutable words set in stone; the softness of blackened feathers; white crows guiding you home.”

Honestly, Ruki is one of the best people to assuage the intrusive thoughts plaguing your mind. Not because he is the most affectionate or soft, far from it, but because the logic he uses to make you see you’ll be okay is pretty much absolute.

Your own doubts scatter away, washed away by the night reflected in the deep ocean of his eyes. Somehow, he always has the power to make you feel like you’ll be safe as long as you stay by his side.

Of course, Ruki won’t leave you alone either. He’ll pull you into his lap while he reads a book, even read it out loud for you if you ask him.

“You’ll be safe with me, livestock. As long as you have your master to protect you, no harm will come your way.”

❀ Kou Mukami.

“A happy melody with lyrics that accompany your tears; not in tune, but a game of opposites, as if understanding you, setting your sights on blue skies after a downpour.”

Kou is another one who will notice right away if your mood shifts. Not just because of his eye; he doesn’t quite need to use it when it’s you.

Even if he now stands on the brightest stages, he knows pain like no other, and he doesn’t like that look on you.

You are his bluest sky. To see it covered by stormy clouds… It makes him sad. Though because he is a performer, he knows how to distract you from your endless night.

He brings you roses or any little gift he noticed you eyeing another time; similarly to Laito, he’ll resort to physical affection and naughty touches if you’re in the mood. 

But you always told him you love his voice, so now, he sings for his favorite audience: you and only you. He’ll teach you to dance like he does if you’re in the mood too, catching you securely in his arms when you trip, teasing you.

“My M-neko-chan is the cutest when they smile… You are my favorite sky, okay? Never forget it.” He tells you, as he kisses the corner of your lips.

❀ Yuma Mukami.

“The familiar scent of a fireplace in the home you’ve so longed for; he is the warmth of the sun on your back and the hues of rustling leaves in late summer.”

“Oi, sow, why do you look so depressed?” 

His rough voice is blazing sunshine amidst thick tree canopies. 

He’s noticed you staring at nothing and probably thinking about too much as you help him in the garden. 

He’s noticed the iron grip you have in the basket of tomatoes, the one now in your hand threatening to be crushed.

He’s noticed the trembling of your form.

He’s noticed you are not acting like yourself right now.

And Yuma can’t stand it. Like the unforgiving freeze of a clouded dawn making flowers wither, he won’t allow for the rose petals you put in his life to never bloom again.

So, as he always does, he lets his actions speak volumes. 

Taking the basket from your trembling hands, he gently throws you over his shoulder. Bathed in the last of the sun’s golden glow, he begins the short trek back to the manor.

“I won’t let anything happen to ya, ya hear me? So stop bein’ so sad, I’m here.”

❀ Azusa Mukami.

“He is the softness of clean gauze over your sore hands; a flutter of butterfly wings brushing your cheek as you wake from a sweet dream.”

Azusa is very attentive, so he can tell the little shifts in your mood when fear wraps their cruel claws around you.

At first, he’ll try to distract you, showing you his knife collection and telling you about the story of each one.

That helps a little, gentle smiles tugging at your lips every now and then as you see him excited to tell you about them.

But he knows that is not enough, that you’re still worried; your mind, a tapestry of criss-cross throbbing wounds.

So he’ll patch them up, no matter how long it takes for the turbulent flow of blood to stop.

He’ll hold you from behind, his ever tranquil heartbeat warm and soothing against your back.

“Eve… You deserve to be happy… My Eve is always beautiful… But I like you happy the most…”

[cherriesformatt]

sharing the news || matt sturniolo part 2

matt x fem!reader

summary: after a while you decided its time to share the news of your new chapter in life with Chris and Nick

warnings: pregnancy

word count: 1,5k

a/n: thank you for over 100 notes under part 1! I decided to continued the story. I hope you will like it!

It's been a month since me and Matt found out that I'm pregnant. It’s been hell of a ride so far. We somehow managed to talked Chris and Nick out of my little episode and told them I just got my period and was really upset, tired and need Matt to go to the store for me. I spent entire next two days in Matt’s room trying to figure out our situation. I was also constantly sick and anxious. After than I just tried to be as normal as I could so no one would be suspicious.

At first it was like I didn’t know what I should do. But then I found myself thinking about the baby with my hand on my stomach and I knew I wanted to keep it. I also did hear Matt talking to my belly in the middle of night which made me cry so hard in the bathroom because of how cute that was.

Today was my first ultrasound appointment to confirm the situation and check if everything is alright.

“You know… I was thinking that if everything is good I would like to tell Chris and Nick and then we can decide how and when we want to tell the rest of the family” Matt looked at me when we stopped on the red light.

Keeping this a secret form his brothers was really hard for him because they always talked about everything with each other. Which was scary for me at first. Their whole relationship and building my own with Matt but also becoming part of theirs. Now I just admire the bond between them.

“Yes I was thinking the same” I smiled at him and put my hand on his thigh. I was nervous about only one thing.

“What I was thinking… Is that I will literally jump if your fucking triplets genes worked too hard and there is more than one of those” I said what was on my mind recently.

“Oh my goodness… I didn’t think about this” He put his hand over his mouth.

He was clearly scared now.

“We giving one to Chris in that case” I said seriously.

“Please , we are never leaving our kids with Chris, ever” he said.

I only laughed at that and patted his leg.

“It’s gonna be all good Matt, let’s manifest it’s only one for now” I said.

“Baby… I know this month wasn’t ideal for you and we both tried to cope with the fact that we’re going to have a baby but also only us knowing for now is really special” He looked at me for a second and his eyes went back to the road.

That was also exactly how I felt and I leaned forward to him and kissed his cheek.

“I love you Matty… I know this is all hard but you’re right” I said.

“I love you too sweet girl… okay we’re here, let’s do this” He parked the car and took a deep breath.

Our appointment went smoothly. They did my blood test which confirmed that I’m pregnant. They also did bunch of other tests to see if I’m all good and healthy. Thankfully I was. The last step was the ultrasound.

“Alright parents…” The doctor said and I gasped at the cold of the liquid that she put all over my lower belly.

She called us “parents”, that took me by surprise and I felt so weird.

“Ready?” She looked at me and smiled and I only nodded and closed my hand on one of Matt’s hands.

She started the thing and looked at the monitor. We couldn’t see it just yet.

“Okay… I found it… everything looks great. The baby is healthy. Looks like you’re about 6/7 weeks pregnant” She said.

“Only one?” Matt asked and wiggled on the chair.

“Oh my Lord, Matt… He is a triplet and we were kind of scared that you know… there’s gonna be more than one” I laughed and looked back at the doctor.

“Yes there’s only one” She laughed as well and turned the screen so we could see it too.

I felt like my heart skipped a beat when I saw a little thing moving on the screen. Like a dot. But I knew it’s our baby.

“Oh my…” I said and she pushed some kid of button and sound of a really fast heartbeat started to play from the machine.

“Is that?..” Matt gasped as well.

“That’s your baby’s heart beating… it’s really fast that’s normal and that’s actually really good. The baby is really healthy, you guys… congratulations” She said with a big smile.

But both of us were speech less. I caught Matt swiping tears from his cheek with a corner of my eye. That moment was something you can’t explain. You need to experience that yourself to know how much love I felt in this moment.

When we were back in the car I put all of my stuff in the back seat, closed the doors and turned around to go to my doors but I was met by arms of my boyfriend.

“Oh Matt…” I said hugging him back.

He hid his head in the crock of my neck and I run my fingers through his hair. I felt tears on my skin and I couldn’t help as my eyes started to water as well.

“We’re going to be okay. We can do this Matt. Together” I said but my voice broke I couldn’t exactly feel what’s happening.

“I know… y/n I’m just so happy that’s it’s overwhelming” He said pulling back to rest his temple against mine.

“I feel exactly the same way” I whispered looking him in the eyes.

He kissed me and pulled me even closer to his body. I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else.

On our way back we stopped by target and some other places to get Nick’s and Chris’s favorite snacks, drinks and some funny, cheesy stuff that had “cool uncle” on it.

At home I put all of it in two boxes and also added a picture from the ultrasound to each.

This situation was so unreal for me and Matt. They were actually filming in the kitchen now. I really wanted to have their reaction on camera, so we told them that Matt wanted to do some kind of unboxing with their eyes blindfolded and they would have to guess what’s in the boxes.

When he texted me they are ready I took the boxes and come to the kitchen and put them in front of them and stood behind the camera.

“Okay you may open them” Matt said.

They started to pull stuff out.

“That’s bullshit it’s clearly Pepsi and popcorn” Chris said.

“Yes and that’s my own lip balm” Nick said annoyed.

“Okay how about this?” Matt took an ultrasound pictures and put into their hands.

“Piece of paper?” Chris said.

“No” Matt said and looked at me.

“Picture?” Nick said and showed it to the camera.

“Yes, it’s a picture” He nodded and smiled to the camera.

“Picture of us?” Chris asked and opened his can of Pepsi.

“No… but picture of someone that is in a room with us” Matt said.

“Oh my gosh you fucking freaking me out right now, what the fuck, are you a medium or what” Nick said an put the picture on the table.

“Okay… maybe just take your blindfolds off and Chris… you might want to wait with that fist sip” I said looking at them.

“I didn’t know you were here…” Nick said and started to undo the bandanna on his head.

I bit on my nails as I watched them taking those off. Then they looked at the boxes and I felt like I stopped breathing for a second.

“What the actual fuck? Is this some kind of prank?” Chris asked as his eyes widened.

“Oh my gosh are you kidding me?” Nick looked at me and stood up.

“Chris you owe me 1000 dollars… I knew it!” He hugged me tightly and I put my arms around him.

“Did you two bet on me being pregnant? What the hell?” I laughed.

My stress went away because how could I be stressed around them.

“I actually forgot that we did” Chris said and gave Matt a big hug.

“You guys… I don’t know what to say” Nick said pulling away from me.

“Well…. To be honest we don’t know either” I said and Matt only laughed.

“Yes… this feels really like a dream more than real life” Matt said looking at his brothers.

“Wait… are we first to know?” Chris asked.

“Of course you are… who else?” Matt looked at him and Nick went closer to them and they three shared a hug and than looked at me.

“Come here mama” Chris wiggled his eyebrows at me.

“Never, ever call me that again” I said seriously while coming into the hug.

They laugh and we stand like that for a minute or two.

“Okay I love you all but all three of you smell like three different colognes and I might throw up” I said stepping back.

This baby will be the luckiest baby in the whole world having them as a family.

[dolcefiente]

Dead Poets Society. 📖

10/10

— The damn tears… I can’t remember the last time i cried that much. It was absolutely beautiful. Literally made me into poetry. I’m reading and writing poetry. The impact this movie had on me is crazy. I wish i could forget about it and rewatch it again and again.

— At first, i was so hyped up! These boys were going to have such beautiful minds and hearts, they were going to have meaningful conversation. Mr. Keating was a wonderful teacher and the boys were so lucky to have him. I bet those lessons made every other student’s school life a lot more interesting and fun aswell. Made me wish i had someone to inspire me like him.

— This part was 🔛🔝.

— Amazing cinematography, amazing lighting, amazing cast, amazing script, amazing storyline, amazing actors… It felt as if they were actually living their normal lives in that school everyday. I loved every scene and absorbed it carefully.

— These two made me giggle so much. As someone who’s dealing with anxiety, i can say that we all need a neil in out lives. Because the guy inside us keeps us away from a lot of things and someone promosing us that ‘it’s going to be okay’ affects so much than you can guess. Even if that person doesn’t really do much, we feel relieved that someone actually cares our state of minds. That takes most the weight off of us.

— After i finished the movie, i scrolled through my socials and people were also crazy about these two. I didn’t really considered them as lovers but it’s one way to look at it i guess. 😅

— As the movie continued, i started feeling anxious and my guts didn’t fail me again. Neil’s death was a trauma for all but Todd & Mr. Keating the most. Losing such a person that ruled the people with kindness and the leader who never asked but always needed of course made people feel empty. But losing your roommate who checked up if you’re doing fine, convinced you to do as you wish, promised to take care of you is just… So upsetting that i had to pause and cry.

— Also FUCK Cameron for what he did. He always felt uneasy with the group and tried getting along anyway. Then ruined everything as if it was his own and everyone began to feeling depressed. Mr. Keating opened eyes and Cameron had no right to poke his annoying ass in them. I hope he becomes whatever he wants to be but never seen in daylight ever again. Mr. Keating was a captain to all.

— Todd’s poem, Neil’s play and failed confession, boys running to the woods to read their silly poems and every other scene was filmed so beautifully. Every single one of them had meanings behind them and i enjoyed all.

— Everyone should watch DPS before it’s too late to feel silly things in your stomach for reading beautiful writings. Watch it before you grow up as adults.

🎬,, Oh captain, my captain. You will be missed. (Rest in peace Robin Williams.)”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my friend's husband to stop claiming he had a mental illness for his own benefit?

I know the title really makes it sound bad, and maybe it is because I'm actually conflicted now.

I (26f), Grace (27f), and Will (26m) are the key players to the story. They had a baby almost a year ago, and I love her. I am the best unofficial aunt and official godparent- but that is neither here nor there.

I have stayed at their place before and I also have been at hotels, if I stay at their place I try to pay them and they decline. This last time I visited, I stayed at their place because Will wanted to take Grace on a date and get a hotel somewhere so I would watch the baby.

However, Will has just increasingly pissed me off claiming he has OCD and needs to be accommodated. I helped fold laundry, he told me it wasn't right and redid everything I did that was his- fine, we all fold things differently.

Grace pulled me into their bedroom one time to have a private and intense conversation that last over an hour and I sat on his side of the bed. He stripped the bed and put new sheets on and then yelled at Grace for allowing that as "my germs" were covering the bed. Grace felt bad because she didn't know he would care, I felt upset he yelled at her since he had never communicated with her, nor would I have done that if I had known.

Grace has movies displayed alphabetically, and it has ALWAYS been this way every time I have been over. Baby grabbed the shelf and they fell. I fixed the shelf, and put them all back. Will came in the room, saw it, became upset and claimed I was doing it wrong and effecting his OCD. He changed it to genre's, which is fine but it has never been that way. He claimed it had and I was mistaken.

Couldn't change the Baby's diaper because "what if fecal germs get on me?" He has gotten mad at Grace for not cleaning the right way, always falling back on germs being his big "issue" in OCD.

But I've never seen him actually have a compulsion? I have anxiety that can be debilitating at times... for example i have to lock my door 4 times each night for me to feel safe. I have a specific routine I do before bed and if I dont I panic. I got in a wreck two months ago, and now I can't drive that route. Maybe I have OCD maybe not, I know I have anxiety though.

But then Will goes and claims to have OCD and does...nothing. It feels really random to me?? Says his big issue is germs, yet can handle when the cat pees on the floor and can handle cat litter. Got a second cat, a kitten, who is still learning the litter box and does not care one bit and cleans it up.

Will's friend got drunk and laid down on his bed. Will laughed at how drunk he was and helped him stay in the guest room. Went to bed almost 15 minutes later and never changed the sheets or anything like he did when I sat there.

Has shared water bottles with friends (Grace would make sense, they literally had a kid together). He has dropped food on the floor then ate it. Will has made fun of Grace when she cooks, because she has to have steak well done because she got food poisoning one time and has been afraid since, which he knows, but wants his steak rare.

Anyways, I feel he is lying about OCD and using it to justify his actions which pisses me off. Grace has called him out for the double standard before. Grace has also tried to encourage him to get therapy, which he refuses. Grace does give him well grace when he does seem to be anxious to do something (like the movies, she shrugged it off and said if it makes him feel better sure).

The final straw was they were at MY place this past weekend, and I noticed how he kept staring at my pictures hanging on the wall. I already had a terrible day and was on edge, which they both knew.. He ignored our conversation and got up and took down a picture. I asked him what he was doing. He said his "OCD is acting up" because it wasn't in line with the rest of the pictures. I said it was a design choice (for a mental image, imagine three pictures in a row, picture one and picture three are the same shape and size hung at exactly the same level, while picture two is hung above that level somewhat, so it kind of looks like "^" with the points being the pictures, but the middle is not as pronounced). Will told me I was a terrible interior designer.

I'll admit, I saw red because it felt like he just wanted to have a chance to insult me. I told him he was a dick and using mental illness as an excuse to be one. I told him that if his OCD is that debilitating to go to therapy, but it seemed to me he was an asshole just trying to use it to justify his actions. He called me an asshole and a bigot and looked to Grace for comfort. Grace said that Will had no say in my design choices, but that I could have found a better way to tell him. Will didnt like that answer and stormed out and left my house.

Grace is now being told by Will to drop me as a friend. She won't. It is causing me a lot of anxiety because I know it is causing a lot of stress in their marriage and I don't want to be the cause of it. Will is adamant I apologize while I am adamant that he should apologize to me. i would be willing to apologize for what i said if he would apologize for trying to change my house, but he says i "dont understand OCD". AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

How would you describe Lloyd's sibling relationship with all of the Ninja? What kind of brother/sister is who to Lloyd? (Including maybe a emotional support Ninja?)

Lloyd's siblingship-

Kai: Cool Role-Model Older Brother

Jay: Older Brother that lets him Get Away with Stuff He Shouldn't (and shares his personal interests)

Cole: Responsible But Chill Older Brother (who Lloyd mimics a music taste from)

Zane: The Brother That WILL Put his Foot Down (especially if it's when Kai can't)

Nya: Girl Brother (just kidding that joke's been made before bUT we all know how much Nya means to Lloyd)

Bonus Jesse: Anxious Brother Emotional Support Brother Brother-in-Law Brother That Makes Sure He's OKAY (and also EATSSSS)

Now, as for everyone else with each other, I definitely read them as having sibling dynamics sometimes, but as a whole I wouldn't define nor label their whole interactions as "de facto siblings" either. It goes hand-in-hand with the "found family doesn't mean giving everyone a clear-cut nuclear label" thing people have been yapping about (which I agree with), and their occasional use of referring to each other as "brothers" I always read as "brothers-in-arms" and not...literally...brothers. Ahaha.

All that being said, I'm more in the camp of everyone being what someone else needs/perceives at a given time.

Sometimes, that means Cole's gotta pull the older brother card to get Jay to calm down; sometimes that means taking a step back and letting Kai defer into a more fatherly-leadership role; sometimes he looks to Zane for the comfort of a potential lover; sometimes Nya is both the sister he's always wanted, and an answer to many of his problems; sometimes Jay is the annoying younger cousin yet good friend you can't imagine your life without

Sometimes Kai's subconsciously trying to parent everyone else; sometimes he wants someone to tell him what to do; sometimes he's the brother doling out hard-hitting but necessary advice; sometimes he's that friend you wish would mind his own business a little more (but then regret the one time that he does); sometime he wishes he wasn't suddenly the "middle child" without a defined role in things

Sometimes Jay's playing kid brother to mostly everyone else; sometimes that means he's the friend that snaps everyone else back to their senses; sometimes he's a boyfriend trying to figure out the right way to get his partner to stop being so upset; sometimes he's like the boy next door that you forget exists until he's blowing something up in your backyard and you have to rush out to put out a fire—

Sometimes Zane is he "mom friend", sometimes he's the strange older cousin with extremely helpful advice you wouldn't have considered otherwise; sometimes he's playing mediator trying to maintain peace with everyone else; sometimes he's so lost in himself that he doesn't realize what he means to all those around him who love him

Sometimes Nya is treated as the precious little sister who no one is allowed to harm (unless you want a gang of angry older brothers on your back); sometimes she's the really cool aunt pulling amazing helpful gifts out of thin air; sometimes she'd the friend giving you the advice you didn't realize you needed

Their dynamics are nebulous and never really defined (which is also partly why the full-lean into RGB Sibs and the sheer lockout of the other three bugs me a bit), but while they are certainly family, siblings isn't always what I'd boil them down to.

All-in-all they started as loose friends united under a cause only they could achieve/understand, only to be left to fend for themselves and a green child of destiny they technically didn't ask for nor expect... but now, whatever they are now, they wouldn't change it for the world.

(which also makes some of the stuff in DR such a bitter pill to swallow)

[vaelzz]

It feels so odd to be treated with kindness and respect. I think people do themselves a disservice by keeping dismissive, toxic or downright negative friends, family or romantic interests in their lives. On the other hand I know how isolating it can be to cut it all out and just be left with your own thoughts in an endless echo chamber debating that you might actually be the toxic/negative, that you might be overly sensitive or perhaps selfish/narcissistic for feeling hurt over people downplaying or wilfully ignoring something you've achieved…

In worst cases downright insulted and degraded which I personally have always understood as people projecting their own insecurities and envy which helps ignore it sure but even still when it is persistent it slowly wears you down over time and serves as a way to validate your own internal negative thinking about yourself. I'd think I'd only care about what I truly think but then I'd simply let myself be exposed to negativity until it's literally hardwired into my very being and being told positive things is met with a lot of internal resistance because I truly don't believe it. The worst part is that I feel guilty for not truly appreciating kindness or affection which makes me anxious because I am unable to reciprocate and I understand it's not supposed to be like a transaction but when someone is genuinely nice to me I just melt into a puddle of confusion. This is all internal though because on the outside it's easiest to just say "Thanks!" and move on because exposing the issues I see can be seen as attention seeking or just simply draining to people which will be met with frustration and resistance from them.

But again it just feels so bizarre to have someone be genuinely appreciative. The screenshot attached to this post is an old artwork of mine reposted to the story of a new very special individual who has entered my life and it really puts into perspective the stark differences in every simple interaction. It feels so crazy to me that I'd invest so much time and energy into people that would refuse to input even the bare minimum and would even go as far to exert their own expectations followed by incessant downplay at every opportunity.

The artwork is from 2015 and it's taken on a cheap borrowed school camera at The Den Of Nargun and then further edited and painted over on my old craptop and only a mouse (R.I.P pre-tablet days) so screen was barely calibrated or accurate but it was inspired by The Hallow in Terraria which is one of my favourite games. I remember showing it to a close friend of mine this after gifting them a Canon film camera that had a good lens. (it was old and compatible with their new Canon and I used Sony so why not) But they literally said it looked like vomit which beyond irked me because whilst it's not perfect it was a prominent creation in my life when I was just 17 in highschool without many resources. I also won an acquisitive art award for it alongside another piece called An Ever Flowing Stream of Eternity, acquisitive meaning the local gallery acquired it and I was given $500 alongside some other art supply gifts which I don't like to brag about but surely it must have some merit or value for that? Certainly not vomit right?????

I guess to top it off I was only sharing it because having gifted them a camera I was recommending locations to go except they literally went 2 days later without telling me after I said I wanted to return there and retake some pictures now I am older with a better camera. Definitely some strong gaslighting there when trying to confront it but that's whatever but what really irked me was them just shoving all their photographs in my face and essentially demanding praise and getting upset if it's anything less than positive. I'd never really share much of my art or things I made because people wouldn't really care which I figured is fair enough because everyone has different tastes and there is zero expectation for someone to like or appreciate anything you do but after so many years of that you just feel so empty. Because this is just one instance but there are countless instances with plenty of other people too which is incredibly demotivating because why bother doing or sharing anything that someone is just going to devalue? Might as well focus my attention elsewhere??? Except I'd still always have that inherent drive to create and achieve things so ultimately it just led to cyclic toxic cycles of internalized perfectionism.

But now being met with something as simple and trivial as a story repost followed by being spammed likes because I felt sad about this artwork being called "vomit" and an overall general lack of appreciation after discussing some concepts around Tall Poppy Syndrome it just… idk it sort of warms my heart and honestly I was melting a bit and I felt so guilty that this person was showing kindness and appreciation towards me because I felt so underserving? The crazy thing is that it's so simple and basic yet feels so foreign to me to have someone take the time and basic thought to undertake the gesture. For the record the share and likes are meaningless, it's all just superficial social media bullshit but the simple gesture and thought is what touches me deeply yet it feels like such a basic and trivial thing so it really makes me think back to when I'd let negative people remain in my life and convince myself I'm selfish for ever having the passing thought that I'd like the same respect and energy given to be returned mutually.

[they-stare-i-ship]

I finished reading the atlas paradox

and now you're subjected to my SPOILERY thoughts.

Parisa Kamali: I love Parisa, I have loved her since the first book. I LIKE HER SO MUCH she's funny she's mean she's cool she's kind. She's incredibly powerful. She's so interesting and I really enjoyed how she slowly became "her royal softness". Whenever we have her pov it's so fun. I love how she's not scared of Atlas and how she challenged him. I can't wait to see what she does in the next book. I'm actually excited to see how Dalton has changed and how she reacts to them in the next book. Her relationship with Nico makes me so feel so nice. I also need her to be kiss Reina sometime in the next book.

Nico de Varona: he's been my annoying lil baby since the first book. I loved how he became more fleshed out in this book. I loved how lonely he got, his relationship with Reina and Tristan really intrigues me. HE'S SUCH A CHILD sometimes and I love him for it. Obviously I have spent the two books insane bc I knew he was in love with Gideon, I just knew it and they're just *chef's kiss* also speaking of his relationship with people, I think him and Libby will be stunning as besties, I truly cannot perceive them as romantic. They act so sibling like or even just asshole bestie like.

Reina Mori: when we started with this series I actually had more hopes from her. I feel like she didn't do much (especially in book 2) and my girl really doesn't understand communication. If she just talked to people sigh. But honestly her God thing, I am down. Go off, I'm excited to see her go off the rails bc people didn't talk to her the way she could have understood. I am low-key in love with how funny the duo of Reina and Callum is, tbh. I also get major ace vibes from her.

Libby Rhodes: honestly she was my second least favourite amount the six when we started. She desperately needed the corruption arc we got in the later half of the book. I think I will like her a lot more now. Her crush on belen was stunning to read. I can't wait for Libby to fuck shit up, literally fuck everyone up. And I genuinely truly deeply want her relationship with Nico to just be friendship. Friendships are equally as important and the fact that the universe made them parallel to eachother is my favourite thing.

Callum Nova: honestly I didn't really like him much during the first book, he was fine but we had more interesting characters. BUT DAMN CALLUM NOVA POST HEARTBREAK?? ~~ exquisite ~~ he's so fucking funny and hopeless and sad and pathetic. he is so desperate for love and so upset that he was denied it. He's my pathetic lil meow meow. Also I would LOVE to see him use his powers more in the future. As we keep learning about it, I keep loving him. Also I need Tristan to beg Callum to take him back.

Tristan Caine: actually I didn't enjoy his povs at all in the first book, I couldn't wait for them to be over. He is still my least favourite among the six but in the second book he was more interesting and fun. I'm a lil anxious of how Atlas is gonna use him and his powers. I don't care much of him but I want him to beg Callum or regret it for the rest of his existence. Also I hate LibbyTristan as a romantic permanent thing, they can fuck around and have fun but pls end at that.

Gideon Drake: I have loved him since day 1. He was the softer kinder balance to Nico's aggressive and abrasiveness. He is so interesting, his origin and his powers. I spent both the book wishing we had more of him. Now that we are out of the library maybe he'll get to play a more active role in the book. I am obsessed with Gideon (bc Nico is obsessed with Gideon) I love the tidbits we learn about Gideon like how Libby always liked him more or how max travelled with him for the rescue of the "prince". I want Gideon to have everything he wants, that's all.

Atlas Blakeley: I have been thinking of Giancarlo Esposito as Atlas the entire time. There's no explanation it's just vibes

Ezra: I'm glad he's dead 💖

[slayingqueenchal]

supportive friend | Ronald weasley x fem!reader.

summary : you have been nothing but nice to ron.. Until he makes you upset.

warnings : angst, fourth year, YULE BALL IS HELD AFTER SECOND TASK.

"Harry Potter's stupid friend" The thought of ron saying that lingered in Harry's mind.

"Why can't you.. Talk some sense into him" Harry told you, making you nod "I tried Harry, but.. You know how he is, but he'll catch up soon enough, y-you can't possibly stress about him again, the first task is tomorrow"

Ron was always, how do I put it, the second choice, probably because of how many siblings he has.

It was pain in the ass, trying to convince ron to tell Harry about the dragons, so you and Hermione told him yourself.

You had a thing for him, that's why you care for him more than you care for basically anybody else.

After him and Harry made up, you were relieved. Relieved that you didn't have to comfort ron all day because of his insecurities, though, you liked comforting him.

Cuddling was something you, Harry, Hermione and ron used to do, Harry and Hermione let that go, but you and ron didn't.

You starved skin contact with ron, which is weird, but it's sadly the truth.

You were worried when you searched for ron and Hermione and they both weren't there. Harry told you that professor McGonagall called them, but it didn't stop you from worrying.

The next day the two were no where to be found, but you had to be there with Harry to be his emotional support.

"You'll be okay Harry, goodluck" You hugged the anxious boy, trying to make him feel more relaxed, but there was no difference.

You began to ask where your two other friends were, and only receiving 'I don't know'

Until, Cedric came up first with Cho, then Krum with Hermione.

You immediately rushed to her, hugging her, not caring if your robes would be wet.

"I thought you were gone! " You laughed, giving her a hot towel. "I thought so myself, professor McGonagall suddenly put a sleeping spell on us! " Hermione giggled.

But, the time ran out, and neither ron nor Harry was there, until to heads popped up. "Ron! " You gasped.

It was ron, and Gabrielle. You helped the two get up to the platform, along with Fleur.

"Oh my Lord ron! " You laughed. "Bloody hell, y/n it's a crazy story! " Ron shivered "professor McGonagall-", "you can tell me later, youre literally cold, come" You grabbed his hands.

You still wondered where Harry was, well, he did, show up, in a rather shocking way.

After getting the towels, you both came back to Harry. Before you could speak to him, Fleur immediate kissed Harry on the cheeks, and Ron too.

Your stomach fell into jealousy, and your mood was ruined, but it wasn't visible.

It wasn't visible but there was a clear difference between you and ron. There was no more cuddles, slight flirting, or anything.

And you did that. Even Harry questioned that.

When the Yule ball got announced, you immediately wanted to ask Ron out. Few days after McGonagall made the statement, you finally packed up the courage to ask him out.

But, he didn't show you any interest at all. And you know it's your fault, you were the first to distance away from him.

So, you have up without even trying to ask him. "Harry, do you have a date? " You sighed. "Nope, I'm getting desperate" Harry scoffed.

"What about we go together, as friends, platonic" You suggested. Oh and, ron was there. "Oh, i-" Harry tried to speak, but ron cutted him out. "That's a good idea, I think you two should go together" Before leaving.

"Yeah, I mean, the ball is in two days"

You tried to plaster a happy look on your face, for the ball.

You smiled through the whole dance, even though there were some errors.

"Harry that's my feet! " You hissed. "Oh yeah?" He stepped your foot again, making the two of you laugh.

Ron on the other hand left his date, frowning and shedding some tears.

You and Harry decided to visit him, but he was trying to get away.

"Ron, wait! " Suddenly, Harry disappeared into thin air, but you didn't care.

"What's wrong? " You asked. "Didnt.. I didn't go with the girl I wanted to go with" That statement punched you on the face.

"Oh.. Me neither.. But our dates isn't so bad" You tried to cheer him up. "Your date wasn't so bad, you went with Harry! "

"Who's the lucky girl? " You ask

"Who's the lucky boy" Ron ask.

"He made it clear that he doesn't wanna go with me" You said in front of him, knowing that it's about Ron himself. "That's a blind folk isn't it? You're amazing"

"He is blind, Ron, why are you so blind? " You mumbled. "What? ", " He's you ron, you're him, in talking about you! " Your eyes softened, but his face became somewhat angry.

"So you asked my bestfriend? " Ron huffed. "I didn't have the courage, besides you were completely uninterested, I gave up when you asked girls that are way prettier than me" You defended yourself.

"That's ridiculous, I would rather go with you! ", " Well that's the thing isn't it? I'm the second choice, the seventh choice, if you will"

"Why does that matter? " Ron ask. "Why does that matter? You know how it feels, Ron, you've complained to me about how shitty it feels to be the second choice! "

"But you never get to feel like that in any other way! " Ron protested. "But it still sucks" Your eyes became gloss.

"I wanted to go with you! " Ron said. "Liar" You teared up. "You were boasting about your plan on asking fleur, you didn't say anything about asking me out"

"So that's it? You're jealous, that's selfish! " Ron scoffed. "I hate you Ron!" You gave up on arguing the boy, fearing that you'll be hurt more.

You cried your whole way to the common room.

Actually, you sobbed.

You didn't talk the next day, or the next next day, or for a month.

You talked to Harry about it.

"It's not like youre bad but I really wanted to go with him! Besides you know ive liked him since first year, and I don't want to be the one who always does everything, always saying sorry, or doing something, sometimes I just want someone to do it, Ron! " You sighed "maybe we werent made for each other, maybe I'm just.. Delusional"

"Oh shut it, y/n, you two are cute together, I think Ron likes you. " Harry comforted, but it didn't work. "You think, but he doesn't"

"He wanted to go to the ball with you, not with Fleur, Fleur was the second choice, he just.. Didn't have enough in him to ask you out, and then you asked me out, and it made him a bit moody" Harry said, making you feel more horrible.

"He's been talking about.. To just ignore it all, you know, the thing with you and him? Ron wanted to act like nothing happened. "

"I can't do that, that's not--thats toxic"

As days passed, you became more and more sad. Hermione pitied you terribly, and started to distance herself from Ron too.

"Hermione, Ron is your bestfriend, you can't just cut that because of me? Hermione I'm ruining the friend group" You teared up.

You became more anxious. "You're overthinking it, y/n, it's okay, but, I can't let you be miserable like this, you have to try and feel better"

"I don't know if I can when I see him laughing with Harry, Hermione, he said the things he said because he felt bad, not because he likes me, honestly Hermione, I think I'm going to act like nothing happened."

"I don't think that's a good idea.. However if you think it's the best shot you've got.. I think its fine"

And there you were, walking with Ron, but never talking to him. You'd ignore him, even if he asks for the time.

"Y/n, will you stop ignoring me? " Ron ask. "I thought you wanted me to ignore you" You scoffed.

"I'm sorry okay? " Ron said, genuinely sounding sorry, and so you replied with "okay. Apology accepted"

"You're not doing great, y/n! " Ron stopped you from walking away. "I can obviously see that, thanks"

"Stop it with this whole thing, you can't keep doing this! "

"But I can, Ron"

"You'll be sick" Ron said worriedly. "Huh, didn't even know you'd care" You rolled your eyes.

"I want things to go back as normal, but, you can't just be like this all the time" Ron protested, "well this is the new normal, Ron, accept that"

Just like that, you left, feeling worse.

A week before the third task, you two were still on bad terms.

You've had enough. You couldn't stop crying, on the hallways.

A boy decided to show up, Ron.

"Leave, Ron" You cried. "What? Don't cry" Ron tried to sound comforting. But you failed to put on an I don't give a fuck facade.

You jumped to hug him, receiving s tight hug back. "I'm sorry" You cried on his shoulders. "Shh, it's alright, I'm sorry too, my love" Ron whispered in your ears.

"I want you to be honest, Ron, I know you don't like me the way I like you, and I need you to be crystal clear about that or else I'll be miserable all the time" You sniffed, pulling away from the hug, "and I want us to stay friends, and I'm sorry for being an asshole, and what I did was so fucking selfish, I'm so fucking sorry" You tried to hide your face.

"What if I love you? " Ron asked. "If" You cried more. "I do love you" Ron said, "as friends,Ron, don't play with my feelings like that" You cried.

"No, love, I love you,bloody hell, why do you think I call you 'my love' if I don't love you? " Ron scoffed.

"You dont, I can never imagine someone living me, let alone you!" You denied. "I love you, so so much"

"Is this a prank, where's the twins? " You took a step back.

"Please just accept that I truly am in love with you, y/n" Ron softly says.

"I-i love you.. "

"I love you more" Ron says. The two of you leaned in and kissed each other.

The kiss was desperate, wet, full of love, and a small hint of lust.

"So uhm.. I was wondering if you want to be my girlfriend? " Ron asked in a high pitched voiced. You laughed with your teary eyes, going in for another kiss.

"I suppose that's a yes? ", " A massive, humongous, yes"

[vespaer77]

I'd like to tell you a story...

... about my first Tav, Shayla Moonsong.

She is a Zariel tiefling, and a College of Lore Bard, and while she wasn't my first Tav, she was the first one to finish the game. I had romanced Lae'zel, Shadowheart, and Astarion in early access, so I focused on her because I was anxious to try a new romance, Halsin. However, because she was created just after full release, her save file was horrifically bugged. I got the cut scenes for Halsin that allowed me to progress his companion quest and cure Moonhaven of the shadow curse, but after that I could get no further dialogue from him at all, even in camp. I was playing with a party limit mod by the time he joined my party, so I never needed to worry about dismissing him from my party, but I did occasionally have difficulty with him following the party. I had to run around controlling him a lot. The only scene I ever got with him once he joined me was specifically his sex scene, after I did the love test at the circus in Act 3. I knew literally nothing about him, lol, so I had to google the answers.

But that was the thing. I knew… nothing about this guy. He was just some hot elf my bard boned, I had zero investment in him other than that. And it became a head canon for me about her - she was a typical bard, slutting her way to the Gate. She slept with the Emperor, she had a foursome with the drow twins and Halsin, and she absolutely played Haarlep's game to get his pass code. And while I'd wished, at the time, I could have had the additional enrichment of a poignant, heartfelt romance, I did enjoy exploring a character that was more free with her sexuality. As a result, though, I'd ended up "saving myself" for Halsin, because I knew his romance would (or in my case should but didn't) open up very late in the game. And I'd shot down all of the other companions fairly quickly.

Including Gale.

Especially Gale.

He was still bugged at the time, and his… overly amorous nature, lol, was widely known to anyone who'd spent more than ten minutes on the internet. So I ignored a lot of opportunities to know him better. And at the time, he was honestly my least favorite character. Particularly because I truly didn't enjoy him in early access. I genuinely found him offputting and way too over the top, and subsequently much of his narrative flew straight over my head.

Like a Boeing 777.

But let's be honest. Because of the nature of his story, and the way he seems to compartmentalize his trauma as devotion, and because of the mask of charm and confidence he wears to convince your character of his usefulness, and the way he tempers his emotions so he doesn't upset the orb, all of these things… the complexity of his narrative is super duper subtle. Or at least to me it was. I was the complete dumb dumb that didn't pick it up from context like we were supposed to.

Until I played my bard, Shayla. The first one to get through Act 3.

I had saved the culmination of Gale's quest in Sorcerous Sundries til nearly the end. Just before all the stuff with the foundry and Gortash. At the time, he was still a checklist item, a box to mark off on my road to the final boss.

So I went into it feeling like this man was probably pretty fed up with me, lol. And then he read the Annals of Karsus and I realized right then just how much I'd taken this character for granted. Because everything about him, his entire personality, shifted right there, and he became… someone else. And everyone else in my party noticed it too. The choice of responses I was given was crafted in a way that made me feel like the writers very much wanted me to notice a change had taken place within Gale. And then I picked a response that was honestly a touch unkind. I don't remember what I said to him, but…

He yelled at me.

"She left me to die!" he said. I remember that part.

And when the camera panned back to me and the party, we were all wide eyed and reared away from him in shock and disbelief that this charming, confident, gregarious, and benign creature was suddenly so… dark. And it was at that moment that a light switch was flipped. The missing puzzle piece was found and snapped into place. Suddenly I understood everything I'd missed up to that point, and it was more than just an "ah hah!" moment. It was an, "Oh my god…" moment. He hadn't become someone else.

We were seeing who he truly was for the first time.

His mask had slipped. Cracked beneath strain. He'd been pushed to a breaking point.

Naturally, because he's Gale, he recovered quickly. But it was too late. I saw him. And then two things happened. I fell in love with him. Instantly. But then I also realized the game was almost over. His romance opportunity had come and gone, there wouldn't be a "confess your love at the last minute" option. And of course his fate at the end of the game was not so kind to my bard either.

I've had big feelings about it ever since.

And then the Hugs mod came out, which only served to further poke my great big ouchy feelings.

I've lived in head canon land for a while now when it comes to Shayla Moonsong. In my head canon, he did end up taking her advice, he did pick an outcome that didn't involve using the Crown of Karsus or the Karsite Orb, and in no way did he become a pulverized cloud of stardust. He ended the game living peacefully in Waterdeep, giving Tara belly rubs and ushering in the next generation of wizards without grooming them for a lifetime of suffering.

But that leaves Shayla herself and her big, unresolved feelings. Feelings that were never processed or acknowledged, as the time was never right between her relationship status with Halsin and the fate of the world resting on her shoulders.

So, what is a bard to do when she falls in love, but it's too late?

Nothing small, that's for sure. And it will probably involve singing.

(I'm planning on maybe two to three chapters for this story, in which she very much makes things worse before they get better, lol. She's still learning. But it's definitely gonna end with some light cunnilingus and good, heavy railing either on a kitchen counter or against a bookshelf. I haven't decided yet. I do hope, if you do decide to read this humble beginning, that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. And also please excuse my ill attempts at self-effacing meta humor.)

Pairing: Gale / named fem!Tav bard Rating: Smut is imminent (once we get through the foreplay… er, mutual pining) Word count: 4790

Read the story HERE or under the cut

Chapter One: The Wizard, The Real One

"Is there a loan shark in the audience or something?" Jory asked.

"Hmm?" Nelsyn replied, but she didn't look up from her lines. He supposed that was fair. She was busy letting Sara fix the adhesive on the curly teal wig that sat between her horns, and Jory knew as well as anyone on cast that nothing good came from troubling the crew. He let his heavy bear pelt slip from his shoulders as he sat down in the empty chair next to her.

"She's been there all night," he told his friend as he nodded toward the entryway to stage right. "Boss lady. We've been touring this show for months. We could all do it in our sleep, she knows that. Never seen her hover like this."

And there was no reason for it. "The Fall of the Absolute" was a roaring success. The production was Shayla Moonsong's crowning achievement, a media darling, and the current obsession of a whole continent. She'd catalogued volumes of stellar, five-star reviews thus far, and was selling out box offices everywhere she went. The show was the hottest new thing since "Volo's Guide to Sex in the Elemental Planes."

But it wasn't her biggest accomplishment. It wasn't what she was truly known for.

She was the Hero of Baldur's Gate.

She faced the illithid Netherbrain herself, and won.

And the tale they were telling in front of all those people was her story.

Heavens knew the winsome bard had faced far greater perils than watching a chapter of her life play out on a stage.

And yet there she stood, on this most unremarkable of nights, leaning just inside the door frame where she could observe without obstructing. Where she could scan the audience like a scrying eye, searching for… something. Normally she'd be flitting about like a cloud of gnats directing the cast and crew, answering questions, giving orders, helping the caterer, filling water jugs, finding toilet paper, running errands, meeting VIPs. Trying not to go crazy. But not tonight. Tonight she stood very still, chewing her thumbnail and unconsciously flicking the tip of her tail over and over, hard to the left.

And Jory remembered what Nelsyn had said about what it meant when tieflings flicked their tail to the left.

She was clearly nervous about something.

"Well, we're about to do the big emotional number," Nelsyn finally told him, closing the cover of her script while Sara gave her wig a good yank to test the glue. "It's the one all the teenage girls are sobbing over their sketch pads for right now."

She stopped to take a sip of water when Sara bent to pick up her cosmetics case. The girl made a gesture to Jory to give up his seat, and he tripped over his own feet unfolding himself to stand up. Once again he was reminded why he was cast as the big druid, Halsin. Shayla had told him once that while he wasn't quite as tall as the real thing… he was close. He wondered how easily the boss lady's former lover would have fit into that chair.

"This is our first time in Waterdeep," Nelsyn continued, trying her best not to move her lips while Sara applied a fresh coat of pink stain. "She probably just wants to see how it gets received. She doesn't really get to just sit out there and watch, you know?"

"Yeah."

"Could be it," Sara told them both, bunching her eyebrows and concentrating on keeping her hand steady. "Part of it, anyway. That is her favorite character out there, singing his heart out about the bomb in his chest."

"Her favorite character? The wizard?"

"Someone else got a bomb?"

"Please. Everyone knows I'm her favorite character."

"Listen," she replied as she wiped the applicator clean with a kerchief, "you're a good looking kid, and no one hates watching you take your clothes off out there." Nelsyn snorted, but they both ignored her. "A healthy percentage of ticket sales is probably yours, no one's arguing that. But that's not enough for you to game the win."

"Game the w- what?" Jory laughed, his oiled obliques glistening as he pulled the bear pelt back over his shoulders. "Look, I'm not trying to make it a competition or anything, okay? You brought it up. But I literally play an archdruid who carves ducks, sings to squirrels, and adopts orphans. Plus? He looks like this." He swept his hands grandly over his abdomen, flexing muscles most people had only seen in paintings or medical textbooks. "And did I mention he's also her boyfriend?"

"Her ex-boyfriend," Sara corrected him, pointing at Nelsyn as she spoke. "Have you even listened to the song she's getting ready to sing? You know. The one about love? And sacrifice?" She shifted her weight as an intern sidled past her to tidy the table, refill their drinks, and bag up the trash. "And don't tell me you haven't looked at Erik with both of your eyeballs. We've all seen him. The man has eyelashes as long as your forearm. And the biggest, saddest, wettest brown eyes on the face of this planet. He's like a baby cow, okay? I'm just saying." She stood to let the intern past her again, and bent to drag her cosmetics case out of the way. "This is the man she cast to play the lead in the big romantic climax of the whole show. When the main character realizes she's in love and it's too late. She's managed to capture," she pinched her fingers in front of her face, "the very essence of what it means to have sad children mooning over this show for years to come, okay? The baby cow is a cash cow. And he is clearly her favorite character."

"I think the vampire is her favorite character," the intern said, unprompted, as she reached to help Nelsyn out of her seat. "He's everyone's favorite character."

"You're all wrong," Nelsyn told them as she sloughed her way out of her robe with great theatrical flair. The intern caught it before it hit the floor, just as she'd done so many times before. Nelsyn stood with her hands on her hips and a gallant curve to her tail, casting her eyes toward the rafters and beaming a heavily pink-stained smile, resplendent in her artificially distressed leather armor blotted with thick fake blood.

"I'm her favorite character," she said, glowing with certainty. "And it should be obvious. I'm her! Now, stand back and watch while I go make a bunch of little girls cry!" And with that, she grinned devilishly and pranced toward the stage.

But once she was gone, the intern leaned forward and beckoned. Jory found himself instinctually drawn to listen.

"Well, you wanna know what I heard?" she whispered, and her eyes landed on Shayla for only just a moment. Jory nodded out of reflex. "I heard a rumor that someone in the orchestra pit overheard the boss lady telling someone in the box office that there was going to be a special guest tonight."

"What. Like, family?" Jory asked. "I thought she was an orphan."

"Could be anyone," Sara answered him from where she stood, combing through a wig hanging on the wall. "Philanthropist, politician. Who knows.

"Or," the intern hissed, leaning in even closer, "it could be one of them."

"One of who?"

"You know. Them. Thems what was with her, when all this went down."

"Like… like one of the actual…?"

"Don't you two have anything better to do than -"

"Wait. We're in Waterdeep," Jory breathed. He snatched up Nelsyn's script and started thumbing through it, fanning the pages and blowing a strand of hair across his nose. "Isn't… isn't the wizard…?"

Sara dropped her comb to her side and opened her mouth, but stopped and blinked at him instead. A thoughtful look crept across her face. She nodded her head in defeat.

"The wizard's from Waterdeep."

Then, as one, they all turned to look at Shayla where she stood at stage right, still as a statue.

And the music began to swell. The strings stirred the air with sounds as soft and sweet as sunset. The woodwinds sang a shrill crescendo as Erik began to make his famous climb.

And Nelsyn began to sing her famous song.

Before she disappeared beyond the narrow view from stage right, Jory watched her as she raised her arm to reach for him.

The wizard.

And her voice rang out so high and so clear, so heavy with every loss that Shayla Moonsong had ever suffered, with every plea that ever twisted her heart in bitter knots. With every word that ever fell from the mighty pen of their beloved playwright.

Who stood now with her hand at her throat. It bobbed once when she swallowed. Her lips parted and she drew a breath, and a hush fell over the crowd. She settled in to listen with the rest of them.

And her tail flicked once more to the left.

I know I've been unkind to you And I've pushed you way too far And I know in ignorance I forced you To reveal the man you are And I know I've left you with nothing to lose And even less to gain And though I know you owe me nothing Please don't give in to pain

Erik's silhouette was emblazoned across the long, velvet curtain hanging behind the hideously decorated staircase he was climbing. His movements were eery and real, despite their paltry attempts to pantomime a grisly memory that none of them had ever lived. Each step was measured and dreamlike and perfect, like a person caught in a trance or a dead man called home to his rest by a spectral light.

Or in this case, a massive papier mache facsimile of a netherbrain hung from a scaffold over the stage.

Please, Please don't do this I'm begging you not to go Please, Please don't do this There's something you need to know What can I do to make you wait Convince a goddess to change your fate Please tell me that it's not too late There's something I didn't say…

"It can't be him, though. Can it?" Jory asked. "Didn't he, like," he pointed a finger toward the stage, "explode?"

"Oh, no. It's just a story, mate," came a voice from behind them. It was Velanthyr, the elf who played Astarion. They rounded the table and perched themself on the corner, placing their white wig beside them as they took a bite from an apple. "She's embellished tons of stuff. For emotional impact. They all do it."

I should have loved you since I met you I should have loved you all along

"That bard she played? In the first act?"

"Yeah?"

"She ain't really dead either."

"Seriously?"

I should have told you that I love you Instead of hiding behind a song

"My cousin met her. Said he saw her play someplace they had dinner."

"No shit?"

"It's true. She teaches music in Baldur's Gate."

Is there nothing left that I can do But fall to my knees and pray

"So what's with her, anyway?" Velanthyr asked, pointing their apple at Shayla while they wiped the juice from their lips with their other hand.

The tip of her tail flicked again, and slowly she wrapped her arms around her middle.

To any god or any devil Who'd keep you from walking away

"She's been acting weird all night," they said.

"S'what we were just talking about."

Please, Please don't do this! Turn around! This isn't right!

"We think the wizard might be out there," the intern told them. "The real one."

"Oh no," the elf laughed.

Please, Please don't do this! Please, I'm begging you to fight!

"Hope he has a sense of humor. It's about to get weird!"

"Weird?!" Sara growled at them, flinging her comb about.

Forget your fickle god's desire I'd cross the oceans, I'd walk through fire I'd conquer all the Hells entire For you And yes, I know you're tired

"The man is getting ready to watch himself die! And I'm sure I don't need to remind you his death is self-inflicted! If there's a chance that any of this is real? That the trauma this man survived is on display? You all need to show a little respect." She shook her head and turned back to her wig. "Shut up and let her listen."

Sara's words may have stung him, but Jory knew she was right. So he obeyed her, and he listened. And for the first time he truly heard the fragile warble of desperate heartache that Nelsyn had worked so hard to craft through her voice.

Come back to me and take your rest Indulge one overdue caress I'll steal the sorrow from your chest And confess, I will confess

But he didn't just uncover a new appreciation for his friend and her level of skill. There was more to it than that. There was a depth to this scene that he'd been missing before now.

There was a meaning. One that wasn't meant for the whole world.

It was only meant for one man.

He could sense it in the vibrant tension bound between Shayla Moonsong's shoulder blades.

And then Nelsyn grew quiet. Everything got quiet. The music made a subtle shift to something low and dulcet, but tense, like a string pulled too tight without snapping. Jory found his feet had led him to stand at Shayla's shoulder. He could hear her breathing through her teeth and he felt compelled to reach out and take her hand.

She took hold of it like a lifeline.

You're everything to me and more You're all that I've been fighting for You're more than just an end to war…

Nelsyn paused after that last note. It was important to the narrative, it was the whole point behind the wizard's story. But her longing would go deliciously unrequited, and would inspire a veritable deluge of creativity from fandom communities everywhere.

Shayla squeezed Jory's hand, squeezed her eyelids firmly shut. She held her breath and Jory could see Erik had reached the top of the rise. There he stood, a straight, unyielding figure gazing off into the liminal distance, resolute.

And he would never turn around.

It wouldn't be long. Any moment.

Nelsyn sang her penultimate line.

And I would give my life for yours…

She held the word so long it nearly sank into Jory's skin. It sent a wave goosebumps to crest over every inch of his body. The orchestra wove their way through their final, sweeping refrain, and the conductor brought them to a close on a plaintive harmony between a flute and an oboe.

And then the light collapsed.

It shrank to a small, pale circle that drew its stark and shining focus on a razor-slim shadow cast against the curtain.

In the shape of a dagger.

Erik lifted it high and turned its point toward his heart.

"Gods preserve me," Shayla mumbled to herself. It was the only sound Jory could hear aside from the sniffs and sniffles of the audience. Collectively they teetered at the edges of their seats, enthralled by a beautiful, mournful man who was counting the final seconds of his life with undaunted stoicism and courage.

Nelsyn could've whispered her final line if she wanted to, but instead it burst from her as a scream.

"Don't do this!!!"

Jory felt it thrum like a shockwave within his own chest, and beside him Shayla flinched. She squeezed his hand even harder.

"Just tell me when it's over," she said to him. And then suddenly there was a flurry of activity.

He took a step back and yanked her away from the door when a small flock of technicians flew in to crowd the space they left behind.

Up high, far in the corner, Jory saw the dagger move against the curtain. And all of the good people of Waterdeep gasped when they watched the blade meet its mark.

"Fire in the hole," a technician murmured beside him, and the spotlight on the curtain went black.

Then a pair of spells were cast that bathed the audience in a blinding aurora. It blazed with ribbons of vivid blues and purples and greens, speckled with myriad glittering white stars.

And an arrow of roaring thunder was launched far overhead. It detonated with such a resounding boom that it shook everything, even the floor boards beneath Jory's feet. It rattled seats and drinking vessels, it toppled music stands, and it made Erik's staircase sway alarmingly as it was wheeled backstage, with him still riding precariously at its top.

Shayla Moonsong's face fell into her hands.

"Go on," Erik sang as he danced his way down the stairs. "Tell me how devastating I was. Don't hold back. Tell me everything."

"You were spectacular, my love!" Velanthyr assured him as they ran to greet him, cradling his face in their hands and kissing him sweetly. "You always are."

"Were they weeping?" he asked his lover, nuzzling their face with his own. "The lights are so bright, I can never see."

"They were drowning in their tears, darling. Drowning."

"Is everything alright?" Sara asked as she approached on her tiptoes, reaching for Shayla's arm. Velanthyr's wig drooped at her side, forgotten. "What can I do?"

"I can't even look," Shayla whimpered through the palms that smothered her face.

"Oh honey," Sara cooed as she pulled the woman closer. And in a blessed act of mercy, she asked the question that no one wanted to ask, but someone needed to. Long before now, before this critical point had been breached.

"He's out there, isn't he?"

"I think I've made a huge mistake." Shayla slid her fingertips down to press against her lips, unable to form any other words. She could only shake her head, her eyes as wide as dinner plates.

"Do you want us to look? See if we can see him?"

"I don't think I wanna know."

"Where is he seated?"

"E6."

"Oh." Sara briefly grimaced at Jory, but didn't stop rubbing circles across Shayla's back. "Front and center. Of course."

"Yep." The way her lips popped at the end of the word only served to emphasize how mortified she was. "Wouldn't want him to miss anything."

"Well, of course not. He's your guest," Sara replied, jerking her chin in a way that suggested Jory had been volunteered for reconnaissance.

"Oh gods!" Shayla raked her claws past her horns to twist them into her hair. "I even told him he could invite his mother!"

"Well that's a perfectly reasonable thing to do, one would think."

Jory understood his assignment. He sauntered away but paused at the door frame. The show wasn't over yet. When the technicians finished collecting their gear, they scrambled off to safely stow their rockets and retrieve the set pieces for the final scenes. They were dragging the staircase away from the main thoroughfare when Corinne, the woman who played the narrator, whipped past them.

"Coming through," she chimed, racing out to center stage, taking her place before the curtains could rise once more. Her final soliloquy would lead them into the epilogue, and would give Jory the opportunity he needed to cast his eyes past the orchestra pit and across the section of seats that lie beyond.

Front and center.

He would only have a minute or two. Sara would need to replace Velanthyr's wig. Erik needed a drink and Nelsyn's makeup needed a touch up. Very soon they would be on stage, the lights burning holes through their retinas, leaving them blinded and oblivious to all but each other and the saga they would spin to its end. He reached up to buckle the clasp on the bear pelt that draped across his shoulders.

For now, it was the narrator's turn. But he was ready. And then the curtains rose.

He smashed his face against the door frame like a cat burglar. A shaft of light swung down upon the stage illuminating Corinne at its center, and Jory peered out into the darkness it left in its wake. He squinted until he found the end of the section behind the orchestra pit, and he started counting backwards from there.

But seat E6 was empty.

Certain he'd made a mistake, he counted back again to double check, to be extra sure.

But he was right the first time.

"It's empty," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

"What?" Shayla cried as she spun to face him.

"Yeah," he told her. "I counted twice to make sure I had the right seat, but no one's in it."

"Oh gods." She began to pace, wringing her hands. "What about the one next to it?"

"Which side?"

"Just tell me if you see an older woman."

"Umm, okay." At first he wasn't certain. There was a child on the right side, but on the left was a person who'd stood up, and was bent with their back toward him, like they were reaching for something. "I think… maybe. Yeah. I think so. It looks like she's getting up. She's picking up a bag or something. Is that a cat?"

"Tara?"

"Who brings a cat to a -"

"She's not a cat. She's a tressym."

"What the hell is a tress- holy shit, it's got wings! It just flew over - oh! Oh, I think I see him!"

"Where!"

The tressym sailed through the air to float beside a tall, slender man who was moving quickly up the aisle toward the exit. He wasn't running, out of proper respect for social decorum, but he had the energy of a man who wished he was. His shoulders were hitched up near his ears and he was stifling his mouth with the back of one hand.

And a shiver ran down Jory's spine.

This was the guy. The wizard. The real one.

Gale Dekarios, of Waterdeep.

In the flesh. Right there.

From what little Jory could see, the play had done him justice. He was a very handsome man, lithe and lean, long-legged with a powerful stride, and every bit as comely as Erik had depicted him to be.

Yet it was hard to imagine, through simple sight alone, that this was a man who had once been the Chosen of a god. Or that this was a man who had once vanquished the avatar of Death itself. A man who had put an end to the Cult of the Absolute.

A man who had once made his own decision about whether or not to plunge a dagger into his heart.

But it was easy to see why Shayla would want to stop him. This man clearly meant something to her.

He didn't know what providence deemed it necessary for him to ask. It certainly wasn't any of his business. But the question tumbled out of his mouth, unbidden. Perhaps the gods themselves just wanted to hear someone finally say it out loud.

"Does he know how you feel about him?"

Shayla slumped and let her hands fall limp to her sides. She pulled her lip into her mouth, and her eyes swam with visions of regret. "No," she whispered to him. "It was never the right time."

Oh, how irony could be so cruel.

"You should go after him, then," he told her. "Go quick. If you hurry, you can catch him before he gets to the front door."

"Shit!" she snarled and for a moment, Jory was afraid she'd scurry across the stage in the middle of Corinne's long and emotional speech. There was a wild streak in him that almost hoped she would. But instead, she bolted through the loading bay doors and flung herself outside, presumably to tear down the alley between the theater and the wine cellar to run around the building toward the front.

Nelsyn wandered over to them, sipping cold water from her mug and watching over her shoulder as the loading bay doors swung back and forth on their hinges.

"Jory," she stated flatly. "What did you do."

"What?!" he cried. Sara could only double over and laugh at him. "I didn't do anything!"

"Somebody did something," she said, eyeing the doors skeptically. "And it looks a lot like it was you."

"I'm serious! She asked if we could see him, and I told her yes. That's all."

"See who?"

"The wizard!"

"What wizard? You mean, like… Erik?"

"No!" He stuck out both hands and shook them. "The actual wizard! The real one, from Waterdeep! Yes, he's still alive! No, he didn't explode!"

"Well, everybody knows that…"

"She wanted to know where he was, so I told her, and then she ran out the door."

"Wait. So he was actually here tonight?"

"Jory," Sara accused him, still smiling pitifully at him as she crossed her arms over her chest. "That's not all you said to her."

"But I didn't -"

"You asked her a pretty personal question."

"Where was he sitting?" Nelsyn continued as she took another drink and leered at him over the rim over her mug.

"E6."

"Wow. Front and center."

"Yeah. She didn't want him to miss anything."

"So what did you ask her?"

Jory could only roll his eyes and sigh. None of them had time for this. He dropped his head and pinched his brow between his thumb and his forefinger but when he looked up, he found all eyes were on him. Even Erik and Velanthyr had paused their conversation long enough to turn around and stare. The technicians in the back tried to appear as if they weren't listening, but everyone knew they were. Suddenly, he could feel the heat that was trapped beneath the heavy mantle of his bear pelt.

"I asked her if he knew how she felt about him."

"What do you mean, how she felt…" And through the window of her eyes he could see her mentally calculating every single word she'd just sung. Right in front of the very man it was all intended for. Seated front and center, missing nothing. Her eyes flickered like golden flames.

"Holy shit," she breathed. "Like… feelings? Real ones? What did she say?"

He didn't get to answer. Just then, raucous applause erupted from behind them. The thunderous retort of clapping hands and cheers drowned all other sound, and signaled to them all that their time was up. Corinne came skipping backstage as the curtains fell behind her.

"And that's a wrap for me! Slam and a dunk! Go get 'em while they're - what's going on?"

"The wizard was here tonight," Nelsyn answered her without breaking her eye contact with Jory. "The real one. Shayla is in love with him. What did she sayyy?"

"No," he told her, holding very still while Sara dabbed a powder puff over his face. "She said no. He doesn't know."

"Are you serious?" Corinne gasped, pressing a hand to her heart.

"Well he does now," Sara chuckled, wriggling her eyebrows as she dropped the powder back into her cosmetics case. "I hope she caught him before he got away. He deserves an explanation."

And all around them, activity buzzed. Scenic backdrops rolled by, the intern fussed with Velanthyr's wig on her tiptoes, Sara dug frantically around searching for her lip stain, and the other actors began lining up to take their places. But in spite of the jubilant bustle of life happening all around them, Nelsyn could only stand with her mug in her hands, awestruck by the revelation they'd just been given.

"Sweet tapdancing Asmodeus," she laughed, shaking her head with her eyes transfixed on some far away place. "You mean to tell me that this whole time," she jostled the water in her mug when she bellowed, "THIS WHOLE TIME?! This whole play has been just a great big love letter to some… man?! For months?! And he only just heard it? Tonight? For the first time?"

"I think that about sums it up, yep," Sara told her, taking the mug from her hands.

"That's genius!" She shuffled to her place in line, utterly befuddled, her eyes glassy and glazed. "They're star-crossed, it's perfect! I wish this would've happened months ago! Just you wait, you'll see. When all the little fan fic authors out there find out about this? They are gonna go berserk! People everywhere will pay money for a vial of our sweat! The contents of our chamber pots - we'll be famous!

"Gods have mercy on us all. There might even be a sequel. We'll be touring this show til the day we die!"

************************************************************************

[donnabenevientosimpingzone]

Alright, your poll made me curious! What are your new headcanons about Donna dating each of the newly mutated Dimitrescu sisters? (And, if you’re comfortable with answering it ofc, do you have any spicy headcanons too?)

Ooooooh okay okay ok ok ok- firstly I would like to preface by saying the newly designed sisters behave differently. Before I idealized them a little more than usual and they basically don’t act much different then normal, but this is the Cadou we’re talking about. As the captions say- the Cadou during the mutation heightens each sister’s respective sense so they do act more beastly and ravenous than usual.

Bela

- Becomes the most uncontrollable when mutated, if she doesn’t get it her way then there is no way, her anxiety reigns supreme

- Constantly by Donna’s side and needs physical reassurance; wraps her tail around her, a wing, wing across the thigh, anything

- Seems to constantly be in a state of fight or flight, girl will roar at a bee that buzzes just slightly too loud for her comfort, which means Donna has to be mindful of what may/may not set her off

- Donna has to let her repetitively check things, kinda like how your dog may sniff you a few times when you come home to make sure it’s you

- Often times if Bela is mutated, so is Donna. Spider Donna does a lot to comfort Bela, and neither of them quite know why yet

- As much of an anxious lil punk Bela is mutated, Donna finds it adorable. They’ve found their own groove with things, and while Bela is the one comforting Donna’s anxieties unmutated- she can return the favour here

- The progress of unmutating is like waking up after a night of drinking for Bela- she remembers bits and pieces but not everything- and ends up feeling awful about how she acts when mutated

- Theyre working on it together

Cassandra

- Cassandra is already a pretty hypocritical person, she’s the middle child, of course she’s going to act all whiny when she gets attention she wants

- But in her mutated form her mixed signals get even worse

- She’ll rub up against Donna practically begging to be pet, and then the moment Donna lifts her hand to do so- Cass hisses and runs away

- It definitely was a huge hurdle for the two of them to work over, but they’ve found ways

- Their love language is subtle. They may make eye contact from across the room, Donna may put out an extra plate even if Cassandra doesn’t join for dinner, Cassandra may take a nap on Donna’s bed when she isn’t there and leave it a mess to show Donna she did.

- Her mutated form does make a good mount though. On the lucky days, Donna gets to join her for hunts.

- Can spiral into uncontrollable rage if not careful, but somehow Cassandra always recognizes Donna and refuses to hurt her

Daniela

- the most conscious of the sisters when mutated, and therefore doesn’t act too differently

- The only real difference is just how eager she is to please

- Donna has to be pretty mindful with what she asks of Daniela while she’s mutated, because Dani is going to take it all literally and bend her back to make her request a reality- even if Donna says it jokingly

- They’ve come up with “safe words” so Daniela knows when NOT to basically start world war just to get Donna a lollipop

- Cuddles. All the cuddles. If Donna is also mutated, Daniela will hold onto her like a baby bat.

- Kisses are harder with Daniela due to how contorted her mouth has become, which makes her upset, so they learned to compromise by bumping heads like cats

- Tail wagger

As for the spicy headcannons- I will admit that I have thought of a few. These will be written more generally.

- they have prehensile feet, since their arms became wings- they adapt the bird strategy of making their muscular legs makeshift arms and hands

- Although they don’t have as fine of control, they tend to wrap them around the hips and legs, and use them to pin

- The tail is a very useful tool ya know.

- They have some control over the tentacles but definitely not entire control

- I have NOT thought about them as receivers so all of these are them as tops

Bela

- her split face is optimal for oral, and it tends to be her preferred anyways

- Tries to hold her beloved with her wings but it depends if it’s successful

- She has the longest tongue of the mutated sisters. Do with that what you will.

Cassandra

- she’ll use her pharyngeal jaws to keep her lover in place, she’s surprisingly gentle with them if she wants to

- Her wings are more used as tools to give her power, especially when she’s dry humping

- Really good with her tail. Do with that what you will.

Daniela

- has the best control of her talons, the bat-like wing giving her a thumb gives her the ability to finger her lover

- she has the largest wingspan of the sisters so they tend to just shield her and her lover like an extra curtain- she wants the meal all to herself after all

- She does have a tongue but it’s mostly pulled away due to all her teeth, when it does come out though- it has a grasping end. Do with that what you will.

[yourlocallyneysimp]

Genshin Impact x Makima!Reader

Characters: Scaramouche, Columbina, Lyney, Hu Tao, Gorou, Kazuha, Childe

A/N: This is rlly short- I also just finished watching Chainsaw Man because my friend forced me to. I still don't know much about Makima's character since I haven't read the manga, so I'm just going by the information in the anime. 😴

Warnings: Reader is manipulative, Makima's power is mentioned, blood in Scaramouche's part, hint of yandere themes

Scaramouche-

You make him anxious, a lot. He won't ever admit it of course, but he always goes out of his way to avoid you. It's just the way you always have the most normal expressions while talking about disturbing topics. He also feels like you could see right through him, through all his lies and secrets. It makes him uncomfortable just thinking about it.

He didn't think you were unusual at first since you looked pretty weak, but when the Tsaritsa partnered him up with you, he finally understood the reason why he always had this uneasy feeling around you. While having no luck finding the rest of the criminals the Tsaritsa tasked you both to find, you decided to use the ones you already caught to "end" the rest. As you were blindfolding them, you asked if Scara could cover his eyes too. He honestly thought this was all pretty stupid, but did it anyway since your gaze made him feel uncomfortable. After you were finished with business, Scara took the blindfold off and went on with his day as if nothing had happend. He wasn't going to waste his time with your silly games so he went to go look for the criminals himself. After he while, he found them. But....they were already dead..? At least he could see that one of them was the criminal since his head literally was twisted in the wrong direction. He couldn't tell from the others though aince they literally had no remains left except for blood. Wait.. This wasn't your doing..right? After putting the puzzle pieces together, he concluded that this was caused by you. He finally understood that you weren't human, but you were nothing like him. You were something that even he couldn't describe. A monster. That's what he came up with. Now he avoids you at all costs, not wanting to ever upset you fearing for what you would do.

Columbina-

What an odd, but interesting combination. You two would get along quite well. Columbina sees right through your lies and sweet talks and you could see right through her sarcasm. The Fatui could never tell if you both are serious or not since you both like teasing each other with interesting remarks and poking fun at the other harbingers. Columbina also loves your power. She personally enjoys seeing you crush your enemies with only the use of your hands, it's honestly a funny thing to look at. Columbina is sick and everyone around her knows that. She is the 3rd Fatui harbinger after all.

Lyney-

This combination fits really well. Two manipulative people finally meet each other. Your interactions would look normal to the people on the outside, but if they knew better, they would be able to tell that you both are in a constant state of conflict. Lyney likes teasing you while you enjoy acting as if his attempts of getting a different reaction out of you are not that obvious. You two also work well together when it comes to manipulating your co-workers. It's honestly a hobby that you both enjoy, seeing the determination on your workers faces as they try to amuse you.

Hu Tao-

Hu Tao likes you. She finds you fun and interesting to be around and loves that you don't treat her different like everyone else. She also tries to pull pranks on you, but never gets the reaction she always wants. It usually dissapoints her, but that quickly turns into happiness when you start giggling at her small attempts to scare you. Honestly, she doesn't even try to scare you anymore, she just want to hear you giggle again. It's a melody that she will never get sick of.

Gorou-

You got this man wrapped around your finger. Poor Gorou, he knows that you're not a good person, but he can't help but following you everywhere and all of your orders. He can't help but wanting to be your favorite dog. He also wants to be a loyal soldier to Watatsumi Island, but the way you treat him is strangely refreshing. You spoil him and reward him when he does something good. You would pet him on the ears praising him for his accomplishments. He would find many ways to impress you just so he could get praised again.

Kazuha-

Kazuha knew from the moment he saw you that you weren't the person you were claiming to be. He could tell that your act was clearly fake and that you weren't a good person. So, why did he become so interested in you? That's a question he could never solve. It's odd, he should be avoiding you since you were so overbearing to be around, but he finds himself always coming back to you. The way you make him feel, it's something he never felt before, even with the traveler! He was so addicted to this feeling, the feeling of being adored and loved. He knew you really didn't love him, that you were just using him for your own gain, but he still finds himself staying by your side craving for your love and affection.

Childe-

Childe knows better, he really does. He flirts with you a lot, but it's only because he wants to know more about you and your fake persona. He knows that you have many secrets, many that even the Tsaritsa probably doesn't even know about so he finds himself even more curious to uncover that information. Little does he know he fell right into your trap. Poor Childe, now he is wrapped right around your finger, unable to escape. Honestly, who knew that the 11th Fatui harbinger could be so careless? Well, he is the weakest after all.

[mrsnancywheeler]

okay so a blurb for something @miserablebl00d brought up on this blurb

some period typical talks about therapy

but billy's muse is used to breakdowns, used to good times and then terrible times. so there's this fear that if the good times are too long then the bad times will literally be hell. and she doesn't know if that happens if she'll be able to get through it, the band is broken up, you can't go back home when you live with someone, and so she is anxious for a bad time now that way it'll just be a blip and not a breakdown.

she says things to billy that used to set him off, things that might seem unnoticeable to others but she knows used to make him upset like mentioning exclusivity. being his girlfriend, his partner, loving him, but he's responsive he doesn't get upset. she tries to pester, be clingy because eventually he'll hate it, he'll snap, and he does get annoyed, angry sometimes, but the breakdowns aren't the same. they aren't how they were so it's not enough for her. going through all the cigarettes as fast as humanely possible just so he'll get annoyed when he has to get more and maybe he'll snap, but again he doesn't do that. going out to dates at bars and you're just drinking and drinking and finally he is getting upset when you get home.

"it's like you want me to fail or something"

"no I don't"

"you gave me an ultimatum, made me take care of myself, made me earn you and now it's like you want me to be who I was. you're so fucking confusing, none of the shit you does adds up!"

"I do want you to take care of yourself, billy"

"then things are gonna change! I need to change and you need to grow the hell up, this is ridiculous." you kind of like that he's mad because it means the anger is getting out, but it's like he can sense that. he's rubbing his forehead, brows knotted in frustration, taking deep breaths, "you need to see someone."

"what do you-"

"I need to take care of you too, you need to take care of you, I'm sure someone from the rehab center knows people-"

"I'm not crazy, billy. I don't need to see a fucking shrink"

"I'm not saying you're crazy, I'm saying this is difficult and the support is needed."

and you're grabbing car keys, you're out the door, at first you don't know where you're going because there's only one person you really want to talk too, but then you have an idea and you're driving to daisy's. pulling up in her driveway and pounding on her door, when she opens it just an, "I need to use your phone"

and you're sliding in past her, looking for her phone book of scribbled down numbers and she's just, "sweetheart-"

when you can't find one you're just looking at her, completely inconsolable with a, "daisy I need to talk to him, please just let me." and she's looking at you for a while, hugging you, sitting you down, and dialling up the one person you really need: eddie.

eventually she's handing it over to you, "eddie?"

"what's going on, sunshine?"

"I miss you, I need you here" you can't stop yourself from crying.

there's a silence, "what's going on?"

your brain can't comprehend why that isn't enough for him anymore, why he won't just come back and help you. why has everything changed? why is everyone different?

"he wants me to see a shrink or something, I'm not crazy, eddie. am I?"

"no, of course you're not crazy. maybe you just need some extra support, how's everything?"

"different. I miss it, I don't like this, it's weird."

"and he's?"

"doing better."

"what don't you like then?"

"it's new, he's different, everyone's gone. everyone left, you left me, and I don't know what my life is anymore."

"it's your life. it's not about chasing around some rockstar, it's yours."

"what if, I don't want that."

eddie's exhaling, "then maybe you should talk to someone." you're sniffling, but he's probably right. hearing his voice makes your heart ache for him though, for the eddie who was always there for you, who had never made you feel second best, who made you feel more loved then you ever had been, and your heart ached that all of that, all of him was gone.

"you never called me."

"how is-"

"why didn't you call me?" you're crying again and can't help yourself. technically he never agreed but you'd still expected it, "I was alone for months and you never even called me."

"I know" he didn't lie, he didn't say he was busy, and maybe there made it worse.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, I never meant to make you hate me. you don't hate me do you?"

"no, sunshine, of course I don't hate you."

"oh my god, I don't understand anything anymore. you didn't call, and I'm the only girl billy sees, and my best friend he doesn't even want to be on the phone with me right now. but I don't have anyone else, eddie, it was my whole fucking life and now it's gone and you just moved on. and you left me here and you never fucking called."

he didn't say he was sorry because he wasn't, be put his needs first, getting over you, but deep down he did wish he could be holding you, that he could turn this all off. "this is the way it's meant to be, it's rough now, but it'll be alright. you have who you always wanted."

was this how he always was? did you see him differently just because he wasn't billy? this wasn't how you remembered him. "but I miss you"

he sighs, "listen take care of yourself, I have to go to this gig and I've got dinner-"

"a gig? you're playing again? that's great, see why didn't you tell me, I care about that kind of stuff, I just want to hear from you."

"sunshine, you know that's not gonna happen."

and you do. you know he was never gonna be the one, never your happily ever after, but that didn't mean you didn't still long for him sometimes. that in times like these it was like you needed to pull him out of a pocketbook and that you couldn't breathe without him. like the part of your heart that had been reserved for him was being shredded. your chest hurt. "don't do this to me, please ed's, I do need you."

"I have dinner with rebekah, I gotta go."

"who's rebekah?" a knife twisting in your stomach no matter this hypocritical, the pain feels real. "just, talk to me about whatever please, if you're really never gonna talk to me again at least let me listen to you. eddie, please"

"you need to call billy, take care of yourself, please. I've gotta go" and as you listen to the silence as he hangs up, you're frozen until all the sudden your angrily throwing the phone down, watching it bounce on it's cord. you're not thinking when you're grabbing one of daisy's glasses and breaking it. not until she's coming over, holding you, telling you she called billy, that it's gonna be okay.

when billy does get there, he's holding you, driving you home, playing with your hair, "it's okay, we can sleep it off."

"billy, you wouldn't ever leave me would you?"

"no, baby, you're stuck with me."

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Can you write a fic where Eddie has a shy gf and she sees all the fangirls crowding him and gets upset because they keep ruining their dates (ie: restraunt dates, coffee shop dates, etc)? And Eddie finally gets pissed at the fangirls? Fluffy ending!

Request by @slasherblog hope you enjoy 🌸❤️

Warnings; Shy reader! Very protective Eddie, rockstar Eddie, annoying fangirls, bullying and reader being pushed, fluff.

❤️❤️

You were so proud of Eddie, Corroded Coffin was big all over America and you were so happy for him.

The only thing that drove you crazy was the fangirls. They were so intense that even Eddie found them grating.

They showed up everywhere, literally everywhere. It was fine when you were at home but when you went out together, like resteraunts and bookstore, etc they showed up.

Usually it was the same crowd of fans each time.

You were too shy to speak up to them, all the crowds and screaming girls made you nervous.

Even if you wanted to speak up you wouldn't be able to be heard anyway through all of the "Eddie!!" screams.

Some of them were cruel too, said horrible things about you that made you sick to your stomach or try and fight back tears.

The words pissed Eddie off to no end and while he was grateful for all the fans for supporting Corroded Coffin, he loved you so much and hated how upset the fangirls words made you.

Some people need to think before they speak and realise the impact the words they said had on others.

It was bullying and Eddie was not here for it, he was extremely protective of you and wouldn't allow you to be pushed around or made to feel less than, you were the love of his life, would one day be his wife and mother of his children.

He smiles, you were who he wanted to grow old with so the fans needed to get over themselves.

Things come to a head that day as Eddie already irate that fans have found you and him again in a new bookstore you wanted to check out, are waiting outside.

He could see how anxious it was making you so he took your hand and led you outside.

When you went flying out of his embrace and landed hard on the pavement because some fans didn't care you were there as they just wanted to get to him. Well, that's when he snapped.

Some of the more level headed fans help you up. You're shaking and look torn between embarrassment and being livid.

"That's enough" Eddie calls out and its like everyone shuts up at once. He wraps his arms around you.

"I'm so grateful all of you support me but this shit with my girlfriend, the bullying, name calling, stalking us wherever we go needs to stop!"

"I love my girlfriend and I will not have her frightened or you being physical with her, calling her names and following us around. Enough alright?"

They are shocked into silence. You smile grateful at Eddie and he leads you into his van.

The encounter has left him tense but when your hand slips through his it calms him.

"Are you okay princess?" you nod and while you feel sore what Eddie said has left you elated.

"Thanks for being so sweet Eddie" he reaches over to kiss your forehead.

"Anything for my princess"

🌸

After Eddie's outburst the fans still followed you...sometimes but there was no shouts or name-calling at you.

Most of them were more respectful, you assumed Eddie's words must have sunk in and it makes you happy because now you and Eddie can enjoy dates again.

Eddie is just as relieved because no one messes with you. His girl.