#things that i could write about or draw. ooo i could probably fuck other people up by making them look into the mirror though???!

[resident-gay-bitch]

Hello there, I’m in genuine need of more fandom / online friends so like, if you also want more friends, here’s some info about me and maybe we can be friends? <3

My names Jay, I’ve recently picked it for myself (and then realised I could have possibly had an even cooler name Bo which is the shortened of my middle name and now im cursing myself for not realising it sooner and questioning weather or not to do a switch cause idk if Bo or Jay suits me better?!!). I’m 20 and FtM, and I go by he/they pronouns primarily but I also don’t mind if you use any others :)

I’m also Australian so yeah idk if that’s a selling point or not

Oh and I’m labelled as queer, I guess, but dude sexuality is confusing. I’ve recently been going down the aromantic / asexual spiral of questioning but I’m so unsure of everything I really suck at telling the difference between platonic and romantic feelings. I’m also somewhere in the sapphic spectrum I believe. So if you can relate to this mindfuck in any way that would also be rad.

I write fan fic for the Marauders Fandom (sirius is my everything and I’m also a tall sirius truther) and also Stranger Things but primarily Steddie for that tbh.

I’m also in the Good Omens fandom, as well as a few others more casually and don’t write fic for them :) recently I’ve been starting to watch JJK cause my best friend is really into it

My favorite two movies of all time are Rocky Horror Picture Show and Cars. That probably tells you a lot about me to be honest so do with that as you will :)

My favorite musicians are David Bowie at No. 1 (my lord and saviour), Maya Hawke, Hozier, Radiohead (im not a red flag I promise), Conan (I’m seeing him on fri wtf), ooo and I’ll add SOAD cause I’m really into them this month. But it’s ever changing really and there are too many to choose from, I’d say they’re my most listened to though :) I am chronically listening.

Uh I’m gonna spitball some more facts about me this is kinda hard:

I’m the eldest of 4 kids 💀 one of them is 5 years younger than me 💀💀 the other two are 6 years younger 💀💀💀 (I love them sm the annoying shitstarters)

I love to draw and make art but I suck at anatomy and colour theory it makes me want to rip my hair out (and I wanna be a fan artist so bad)

I’m attempting to learn bass but I also cannot commit to learning the bass (I blame my sibling for keeping it in their wardrobe so I forgoet it exists)

I am 90% sure I’m neurodivergent I just cannot really afford to get that diagnosis rn ya know?!

I did ballet & dance most of my life 🤯🤯 (now I’m a bartender and my old ballet teacher is a regular at the sailing club I work and now I look queer and cunty as hell and every time she sees me she just stares in disbelief and fake smiles it’s hilarious)

I still sleep with my childhood teddy :( I love her she is my one thing I would save in a fire. Her name is charlotte and she’s probably 3 years overdue for a bath but I love her

I’m fucking weird about stars - the shape not the astrology - like I love them. I see them and I get very excited and I draw them everywhere (you can probably tell off all my master lists, they all have stars drawn on the title strips 😭) I just really love them they’re so cute. I almost named myself Star actually

I’m a sagittarius. I don’t know what that means but I know it means a lot of things to people so hopefully it’s good things!

My favorite colour is green but more so earthy and cool greens. I love a good scrumptious yummy green, something mossy something sagey. I have a green wall in my room and it’s very nice to look at.

I lived abroad for a little bit as a teen in Vietnam which was amazing and I’m planning to move somewhere abroad again next year hopefully (seriously get me the hell out of SA)

My biggest dream / goal / career choice for most of my life was to be an actor but now I’m just kinda existing with no real drive or purpose in life. But I might pick acting back up now I’m becoming more comfy with myself and my gender :) my dream role is to play Frank from Rocky.

Uuuuuh that’s all I can think of :)

So yes, I hope I have appealed to your interests in one way or another. And if you’d maybe like to be friends please don’t hesitate to send me a message!

Maybe tell me a cool fact about yourself?

Or if you’re too shy to message first you could just add a random comment here or say something in the tags? I’ll message you! <3

Also if you have anymore questions I am trying to be a bit more of an open book, I love when people dive in with the nitty gritty so if you have strange questions I’ll probably be very excited to answer them lmao

Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day random people in my phone I hope to befriend <333

[messrmoonyy]

The fluff 49 with Remadora!!

I literally used to always just write from Doras thoughts yet here I am now obsessed with writing outta Remus’ head. Jealous Remus. We love to see it. Prompt from this list.

Prompt: ‘ is somebody jealous? ‘

Pairing: Remus lupin x Nymphadora Tonks

Warnings: mild language

You can find all my other writing on my masterlist and remember my ask box is always open, so drop me a request! Check my masterlist for who I write for!

Remus didn’t think he was a particularly jealous person. And he had plenty to be jealous of when he thought about it. But it just… never crossed his mind to be jealous. He was too far past having an emotion so useless, jealousy would never get him anyway. Being jealous of a man with more money than he had wouldn’t magically make a hundred galleons appear in his pocket. Being jealous of other people his age who were settled down with families wouldnt make his family return from the dead. Yet…. There he was, sat at his desk in the Grimmauld place library, practically seething.

He knew he was being ridiculous. Completely. But watching Sirius and Nymphadora laughing on the other side of the room was making his blood boil. He felt a little stupid in fact, they were related after all. But. The Blacks did have a bit of reputation for that didn’t they. And there was the matter that he’d heard Harry talking to Hermione about how he thought Nymphadora and Sirius were secretly a couple. And of course to top it all off Sirius had, and probably always would be, an absolute ladies man.

He didn’t really have a right to be jealous. Yes he and Tonks had been getting very… close, if that was even the best choice of words. He didn’t think close did justice right the several bouts of snogging he had found himself in a multitude of places around Grimmauld place. Only the previous night on the exact sofa she was pratting around on with Sirius now. Not to mention the nights Tonks snook into his room, or cornered him in the back of the library. And there was that one time he’d practically jumped her in the drawing room after a meeting. But there hadnt been any real discussion on what they were.

The only vague discussion being after their first kiss, when Remus has avoided her for a good four days after. Wracked with guilt that he’d let his self control slip. But she’d cornered him in the kitchen and forced him to confront the situation head on. He’d tried to tell her it was probably a mistake. That he wasn’t exactly the best of choices for her. But she’d told him he was ridiculous, that she didn’t care about his age. His condition. But there hadn’t been a talk on their situation since. He didn’t like to bring it up. Maybe it was simply casual for her. A late night hook up when she had stress form work to blow off. So he couldn’t be jealous could he.

But he was. Insanely so. His grip tightening on his quill as Sirius flung another awful joke at her and she threw her head back with laughter. Remus didn’t get it but she clearly did. He tried to distract his jealousy away by focusing on just how beautiful she was when she was laughing, how her eyes crinkled at the corners and her cheeks flushed pink. But it didn’t work as well as he hoped. Because if he noticed those things. Sirius must too.

“ if you two are going to continue being so noisy then would you just leave. Some of us are trying to work “ he snapped, slamming his fist to the desk for good measure. Sirius made some grumbled remark about Remus being a bore. But he didn’t care enough to pay attention.

“ ooo Tonksie that’s his professor tone “ Sirius said in a loud whisper before laughing again and nudging Tonks with his elbow “ sorry sir. Detention for talking in class? “ they both burst into laughter, Tonks steadying herself with a hand to Sirius’ shoulder. Remus sighed and tried to ignore them, his knuckles turning white around his quill. “ oh come on Re. Have a drink, lighten up “

“ I’m not in the mood. I’m trying to work “ he grumbled, purposely not looking over at she’d Sirius now had his arm slung around Tonks shoulders. He was being ridiculous. Though Tonks seemed to pick up on it.

There was then some hushed talking between the two of them, that his heightened senses would’ve allowed him to hear if he cared enough. But instead He huffed and looked back down at his mission report. There was the creek of the library door as Sirius left with another remark about how boring Remus was and then quiet. Assuming that Tonks had followed Sirius out of the room he debated on going to find her. But a few moments later her arms looped around his neck from behind him, her nose brushing against his cheek.

“ is somebody jealous? “ she said quietly, mischief evident in her tone. He’d hoped he hadn’t been so obvious. Clearly he had. Of course he had. He wasn’t exactly well practiced in the art of hiding his affections for someone. And besides, Tonks could read him like a book.

“ I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about “ he felt her smile against his cheek and she tightened her hold on him, bringing her chin down to rest on his shoulder.

“ he’s my cousin Remus. I might technically be a Black by name, but not by nature. Not really into the whole ‘ fuck your family members ‘ thing you know? Especially not Sirius. Merlin. It’d be like shacking up with a brother or something. Nasty. Ugh now you’ve put that imagine in my head “ she shivered at the thought and he couldn’t help but smile.

“ you said yourself he’s handsome “ he pointed out, remembering the conversation that had actually lead to their first kiss, in a much similar situation to the one they were currently in. His so thought non existent jealousy coming out to bite.

“ doesn’t mean I wanna shag him Remus “

“ you always have such a way with words “ she laughed lightly and moved around in front of him, hopping up onto the desk and folding her arms.

“ I’m quite offended actually “ Remus sat back in his chair and watched her intently. Her cheeks were flushed slightly from drinking “ I mean come. On. Remus. You’ll be saying I’m shacking up with Arthur next because I laugh at his dad jokes “ when she put it like that he guessed he had been a bit irrational with his thoughts.

“ I heard Harry talking about it with Ron and Hermione. I think most of the kids believe you and Sirius are up to something “ she scoffed at that and quirked an eyebrow.

“ so you’re listening to the theories of the most unobservant boy in the entire country? I mean I love the boy I do, but I think he needs a new pair of glasses. His clearly aren’t working well “ a small smile tugged at his face then, Harry was a bright boy but he did have a tendency to be quite…. Oblivious. To everything. Tonks was quiet for a few more moments before tilting her head to the side inquisitively, chewing lightly on her bottom lip. She looked deep in thought “ so what’s this really about then? “ Remus frowned and raised his hands as if in mock surrender.

“ nothing. I told you I heard Harry and the way you were with Sirius.. it’s nothing “ she rolled her eyes and hopped off the desk, stepping either side of his legs and wiggling to get comfortable in his lap. His hands flew to her waist, unable to stop himself as she placed her hands to his shoulders and titled her head again.

“ Remus “ her voice was slightly sterner but she was smiling at him “ you can talk to me. You know you can “ he debated telling her the truth. That he was just getting jealous because she could do far better than him. She could have whoever she wanted, whenever she wanted. And he was scared to lose her. What they had, whatever it really was, was great. Remus hadn’t been so happy in a long. Long. Time. He didn’t want to push too far and send her packing. But he didn’t want to hang too far back and have her run off to someone else. It was a constant dilemma in his head.

“ you and I “ he started, not really even sure where he was going with his speech “ it’s good. It’s. It’s marvellous “ she laughed a little and nodded with a tight lipped smile.

“ it is. Though I sense a ‘ but ‘ incoming “ he sighed and fiddled nervously with one of the beads on her shirt. They were haphazardly sewn all over it and he wondered if she’d added them herself.

“ I’m just waiting for the inevitable “ he said after another short moment of silence. Deciding now was a better time as any to tell her. She was stubborn and she had him right where she wanted him. So it was going to come out there and then whether he liked it or not really.

“ ‘ the inevitable’ being?…. “

“ finding someone better- no now before you make that face let me finish. Please “ she had sighed as soon as the words left his mouth, sitting back slightly with an eye roll.

“ Remus we’ve talked about this. Can you just get it into your head, that I fancy you. Not Sirius. Not some random ‘ someone better ‘. You “ he couldn’t lie that the words made his heart pound just that bit faster. The confirmation being all he’d really needed. But there was always going to be that worry in the back of his mind. It would never go away.

“ I know. And maybe I’m a fool to keep bringing it up. But you have to admit that I’m not exactly at the top of most peoples most eligible list “ she took his face in her hands then, making him look her in the eyes. He’d noticed she didn’t change their colour very often anymore after he’d made an offhand remark about how beautiful her natural brown eyes were. They were captivating.

“ no one else bloody matters though. You’re at the top of my list. That’s all that matters. Maybe I’m mental. Maybe I’m not. All I know, is you’re one of the only truly decent man I’ve ever met. You don’t make me morph. You’re so respectful it’s practically dripping off of you. And you’re proper fit too which is totally just a bonus “ he hoped she couldn’t feel his cheeks heating up under her hands. But her smile told him she probably could.

It was odd for him to look at her and think that some one could ever even have the nerve to make her morph for them. To fit their idea of what was perfect. He thought she was marvellous in whatever form she thought was best fitting for her each day. He’d never dream of making her change. In his eyes, there had never been a more perfect specimen of a person to walk the earth. She made him laugh. Made him feel normal. Cared for. He couldn’t believe she would ever have eyes for him. But she did. And he guessed that miracles must truly be real.

“ I’m sorry for being so jealous “ her face softened again and the backs of her fingers brushed over his cheek.

“ it’s fine. I mean. At least it shows you care? “ she laughed a little and he felt his tension melting away a little.

“ I do “ her hand crept towards the back of his neck, her fingers slipping into his hair and she shuffled a little closer again.

“ good. Now stop being a mope and realise we’re on own again “ she whispered the last part, her face inching closer so he felt her breath on his lips. And with a smirk she caught his lips in hers.

[harmoni-me]

hi! wanted to tell you that i absolutely love your writing skills, it’s so different from the others that i've read and it makes me feel so warm inside. keep up the good work! i'm really looking forward to seeing more

if you don’t mind, i'd like to request for a poly nagito x sweetheart reader x kokichi where they’re still in the crushing/pining stage and being confused about their sexuality. thank you, have a good day/night!💙

Phew! I finally did it! My fingers kinda hurt from typing all this haha! But I loved the request a lot! I played around with the concept you gave me as well, so it’s a story that branches out into multiple styles of writing. I do have to warn you though, goodness is this one long! But I hope you enjoy it all in the same! <3

I’m so sleepy lol 

quick trigger warning beware! : There is a scene in this where a character goes through mental hysteria that contains some panic attack like symptoms. If you are sensitive to that writing, please, skip the the fluffy scene that if used for comfort right after :) (Or just don’t read it at all, don’t worry! Harmoni understands!)

Nagito Komaeda x Sweetheart Reader x Kokichi Ouma! Pt. 1

Also can we just talk about this gif? It makes me so happy...This artist is so good too like WHOA! Check them out! 

“No…“

“1, 2, 3, 4-“

“NO-“

“5, 6, 7, 8!” Nagito finished, moving the silver, dog-shaped play piece across the board in rhythmic taps.

“NOOOO! BOARDWALK, NAGITO?! FUCKING BOARDWALK?!” Kokichi shrieked in a fit of rage, slamming his Panta drink onto the table, while standing up and causing an absolute fit.

Nagito was chuckling at the enraged boy, who was now standing on the kitchen counters, stomping in pure fury. Kokichi was a huge brat. A clingy, competitive, always-begging-for-something, whole-hearted brat. Though, Nagito would have to admit that he could never stay mad at Kokichi, in fact, he would have to say that he barely gets mad at him. Ever. He reminded the white-haired boy of a playful puppy, bounding and bucking happily when getting what it wants. It made Nagito’s heart melt, evaporate, then simply melt again, even when he was a cursing mess stomping on the granite countertops, getting scratches all over it.

“Woah! Nagi, that’s amazing! You got Boardwalk really early in the game, that’s so cool!” You smiled, while also laughing at Kokichi’s ferocious cursing as ambiance. Your smile drove Nagito’s attention away from the angered boy, and his heart went through overdrive once he saw your sweet smile, radiating so much contagious joy. It’s almost as if he was on a roller coaster that contained a different track each and every time he rode it. One minute, his heart would be doing loops, and the next, it excitedly go up again.

. . .

Now, this is where the problem begins. Well, the one of three problems that plague the three individuals all playing a simple game of Monopoly on a Sunday night. This is Nagito’s problem: Whenever he has an effect on Kokichi, making him oh-so-lovable in his eyes, his heart swells and fills his chest to the brim. Oh, was this feeling that was so incredibly foreign to him feel so wonderful when it dawned upon him for the first time.

Nagito could always draw the memory back within his vision in surreal detail. Kokichi and Nagito were loitering in the hallways of Hope’s peak, with the shorter purple-haired boy dragging the pale, frizzy haired boy by the hand to apparently “Conjure up the biggest most awesome-est prank Hope’s Peak has every witnesses since built into existence”. Honestly, how could Nagito say no to something that holds so much potential hope and despair, all contained in one big gift-wrapped surprise of a prank on the whole school?

After planning for a few hours, Kokichi seemed to have a fuse broken in his brain due to thinking about a truly fool-proof plan. The somewhat drowsy prankster reached into his schoolbag and pulled out two twin bottles of grape Panta, sliding one over to an unsuspecting Nagito. The purple plastic bottle bonked into Nagito’s forearm, knocking the bottle down from the force.

“Nehehe, I guess you really are the Ultimate Lucky student, huh? It just so happens I packed an extra today, Shamrock! Make it up to me sometime soon, okaaaaay?” Kokichi giggled, teasing the lanky, somewhat socially-awkward Nagito who was sitting across from him on a desk within a totally abandoned classroom. Nagito thanked the other, though, Kokichi really couldn’t respond due to being in the middle of chugging his favorite carbonated drink.

Nagito turn to his own bottle. He wasn’t the biggest fan of old-fashioned artificial grape flavored things, but it wasn’t the worst. Plus, it would be quite rude to refuse a drink from a friend, right? So the white haired boy simply picked up the bottle, and twisted the cap off, as per usual etiquette of opening a soda bottle.

Splash

It didn’t take too long until Nagito knew what was going on. The drink had exploded everywhere. The bottle of soda was basically empty by the end of the grape-geyser showcase, and poor Nagito was left drenched in purple, sticky, sugary liquid. The drink already was starting to dry into a thin, sweet crust on his skin, making the boy on a whole other level of uncomfortable. Though, it was kind of expected that Kokichi would be absolutely laughing his butt off in the moment, sounding like some sort of hysteric hyena mixed with a duckling quacking at some breadcrumbs. It was a laughable sight, no doubt, Nagito literally looked like the embodiment of a sad, wet dog.

But then Kokichi settled down after a bit, controlling his breathing from the pathetic sight. After doing so, he got up out of his seat, and knelt down to scrummage through his bag, revealing a regular branded water bottle. He then made his way over to Nagito, and without hesitation, sat himself on his soda-soaked lap.

“Aww, really going for that kicked puppy look, are you now? Well, since I’ve had all my laughing fun from this, I guess it’s only natural that I help you out, hm? Or would you rather just stay just like this? Oh, now, I wouldn’t mind it if we did…though it seems your eyes beg to differ…well in that case, let’s clean you up, shall we?” Kokichi hummed, teasing the ever living daylights out of the wet and miserable boy.

Kokichi then did something that made Nagito’s heart pound harder than it ever had before. The teasing boy reached behind his neck, untying his beloved checkered bandana. He then carefully opened the water bottle, and poured the contents onto the fabric. Once ensuring it was thoroughly soaked, Kokichi started to wash off as much of the stickiness he could. to Ruffling Nagito’s hair, from gently washing his pale cheeks, which were now sprinkled with specks of rose, and finally gliding the cloth along Nagito’s clothes and hands.

A few things in Nagito’s mind had clicked into place after Kokichi had handled him with the care equal to that of a lover. Well, ironically, Nagito had caught feelings for his tiny little prankster brat of a friend. Was it a huge surprise? Not really, based on the track that Nagito was on.

Another piece of the puzzle had snapped: Kokichi was a a guy. That was something really to think about. Never had Nagito found men attractive, but…

Finally, the last, and most worrying puzzle piece out of them all: Kokichi wasn’t the only one he has fell for. His heart has become torn in that moment, with every day becoming more of a wrestling match to the death rather than a silly tug-of-war between feelings. The other side of his heart was unsure, and fell for another person that had lifted him up through his lowest lows, supporting him like a much needed pair of crutches when having a sprained ankle.

And that person, was you.

. . .

“Ok ok ok ok ok! Listen here you little damn shamrock you!” Kokichi huffed, now sitting back on the ground, leg crossed, “You and I both know that I have Park Place, right? Right! Now, my dear little clover, I want to make a deal with you, if you will?” Kokichi smirked with evil intent clear within his irises.

“Ooo! Deals! Nagi, I think you should listen to Kichi, making profitable partnerships is pretty much his specialty.” You giggled, basically becoming Kokichi’s personal little advocate. He let out a quick “Yeah, what she said!”, causing Nagito to laugh and nod, gesturing for an explanation of the deal.

“Well, personally, my little clover, I feel like we should team up, you know? We could completely dominate over sweet our little gumdrop over there, making them drop to their knees in submission to us. You know, I have a feeling you and I both would enjoy it...” Kokichi shuffled a little closer to the platinum blonde, voice dropping, “We could rule them over together, as equals, or even make them surrender if they ever have the chance-“

“Sure! Though, you should probably get out of jail first.” Nagito chuckled, making the other boy grumble.

“OH YOU-“

“Heeeeey! I wanna join in too! It sounds like you guys are having fun and stuff, while I’m all alone…” You puffed out your cheeks, sadness dripping in your voice.

Both of the boys shot up to look at your somewhat downcast features, and oh, how it wreaked their hearts in one fell swoop.

Kokichi automatically shot up from his position, puffing out his chest in preparation for a new speech.

“O-ok! New deal! We ALL join evil forces TOGETHER, and absolutely destroy the game with all of our property, while reaping in the greedy rewards of the capitalist regime!” Kokichi loudly proclaimed, chuckling at the end of his new deal.

You gasped, “Deal! Deal! Taking over a money-based board game with my two favorite people ever will always be a yes for me!” You laughed, smiling at the thought of the three of you taking over Hollywood streets with a pose of limos, while using bags stuffed with pure cash as weapons made it ten times funnier.

Kokichi smiled, resting his hands behind his head, “Yeah! Let’s end it here and just say that we kicked so much millionaire ass that we now have control over the whole economy!”

. . .

This is the second problem, Kokichi is so undeniably confused. About what? About himself. He was sure as all hell about how he felt about you, he always went soft and squishy for you, and not to mention he would be extra clingy when it had to do with you. Headpats? Common, and always appreciated. Cuddles? Been there, done that with you.

But, then there was Nagito. Kokichi would never say this out loud, but he thought that Nagito was so…pretty. And god, Kokichi was a huge sucker for pretty people. Though, once he realized that his feelings didn’t go to just one person, that’s when he started to panic.

He had to take in multiple things at once, trying to accept it all at once, but it was just so incredibly difficult. He has spent the whole entirety of his life to perfect the art of lying, and one thing that he learned constantly manipulated his own mind and thought process, tearing it into metaphorical shreds.

In order to pull out a lie that everyone can believe, you have to lie to yourself, and proclaim your own illusion of your truth.

Did Kokichi want to believe he was immensely attracted to Nagito, who just happened to be a guy? No, he really didn’t. It wasn’t normal.

Did Kokichi want to believe that he had fallen so fucking in love with two of his closest friends? Hell no. In society, you had to pick and choose, it’s one or the god damn other.

Right?

One night, all of these feeling and thoughts rushed into the boy’s conscious all at once, building immense pressure within his head and chest. Was this a nightmare, or-

Suddenly, his throat started to close up on him, making him gasp out in agony, wheezing on the covers of his bed, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes.

Instinct kicked in within the speed of light. Kokichi shakily reached over to his phone, grasping onto it, and quickly set up a group call. Almost immediately, the two people he was panicking over had picked up.

“Hello? Kokichi? Is there anything you need?” A raspy voice rang out. It seems as if Nagito was awoken by the sudden calling.

“Yeah, Kichi? Is there anything wrong?” You softly spoke through the phone. It calmed Kokichi a little just hearing the two of you guy so worried over him.

“I-I know It’s out of the blue-“ Kokichi gasped for air “B-but can you guys please come over?”

And oh boy, did you and Nagito get there in record time.

After just a mere ten minutes, you and Nagito were outside of Kokichi’s bedroom door, and the both of you could hear the desperate hiccups and gasps of your poor friend.

The both of you had no doubts, nor questions. You just wanted the struggling boy to feel safe.

“We’re coming in.” You said, affirming your actions with light knocking on the bedroom door.

When the both of you came face to face with a Kokichi with puffy red eyes, clutching his heaving chest, and thick tears rolling down his face, it felt like the both of you just got shot in the heart, the weight of it sinking down into the stomach, emitting a feeling that could only be described as pure pity. But the two of you automatically got to work.

Sooner rather than later, You and Nagito were cuddling Kokichi from either side, supporting him, as well as being his shield for protecting his small, delicate frame from his own cruel thoughts. You had started to run your fingers through Kokichi’s hair, causing his breaths to become fuller, and not nearly as hitched. Nagito also wanted to contribute in his own way, so he decided to mindlessly draw messy shapes and squiggles into Kokichi’s side, hoping that what he was doing would be of any help.

After only a mere five minutes, Kokichi had passed out from exhaustion, but the two of you kept on doing what you were doing, wanting for the boy in-between you two to have sweet dreams about all of what he desires all night long.

Kokichi has never let go of that memory, and never will for the rest of his life, and it’s a constant reminder on how much he had lied to himself. He actually wanted the truth out of something for once in his life, and that was how long it would be in order for the loves of his life to live without restraint of societal chains. Whenever it was, he would always be ready. Always, with arms as open as the horizon.

. . .

“Why in the world are we watching Big Hero 6 again? Didn’t we watch this, like, a month ago?” Kokichi trudged from the microwave, to the plush couch, bowl of buttered popcorn in hand.

“(Y/N) wanted to watch it, is there a problem?” Nagito tilted his head, holding the remote, about to press play. You were bouncing in anticipation, because this movie was just never a disappointment.

“Hm, well, I GUESS there’s nothing wrong with it….just don’t be surprised when you hear me snoring.” Kokichi huddled up beside you, placing the bowl of popcorn on you lap.

“I deem you the popcorn peacemaker! Your job is to make sure no one’s being a pig.” Kokichi snickered, while you giggled at your new role in life.

“Nagi? You like popcorn, right? Here!” You placed the bowl on his lap, causing him to smile.

“Hey, HEY! NO! That means I have to reach my WHOLE ARM over to to Lucky boy, JUST SO I CAN GET SOME POPCO-“

“Sh sh sh! The movie is starting!” You giggled, shushing the purple haired boy, while you heard a little chuckle from the white haired boy who was next to you.

. . .

The last problem was you. Your heart bubbled up in joy whenever you where around these boys, making your face erupt like a volcano whenever something slightly suggestive is aimed at you when it has to do with either one of them. You liked both of them, a lot, and you gave everything in order for the three of you to flourish in bountiful friendship. Yeah, that’s the problem, it was friendship.

Oh, how desperately you wished that everything could be easy! If life were like an infinite rolling of crashing waves, things would be flawless, predictable even. Unfortunately, life really likes to give you the short end of the stick, and this was honestly one of the shortest sticks someone like you would have never asked for. The loving of two men, both equally, and having an intense desire to treat them as lovers. What would they do as lovers? Where would they go as lovers? The questions and possibilities are endless…

The only time where you felt as if the friendship could’ve resembled anything somewhat romantic, was a summer evening trip to the beach.

The water was the perfect temperature, the ocean was as clear as glass, and the sand didn’t burn the soles of your feet. The boy’s were in their swimming trunks, having their own little fun. Nagito was afraid of getting to deep into the ocean, so you always stayed in the shallow end, trying to capture as many tiny fishes as you could with your bare hands.

Kokichi insisted that him and Nagito bury you in sand, leaving your head poking out of a sandy little cocoon. When the sun started to set, you got some supplies that you brought, and lit the fire that the group planned to create. Everyone gathered around it, cooking hot dogs on sticks, and crafting tasty s’mores that we fed each other.

One could say that that night might be the most casual and platonic friend trip ever, but something was off.

Everyone looked at each other differently that night. When looking into their eyes, it was oddly intimate. It was like all of the stars in the night sky reflected off their eyes conveyed so much...love.

That night, you felt so adored, so cherished and cultivated to the brim of your existence. You felt something, and maybe the other boy’s did too, but that feeling has changed your life.

Thanks to these stupid boys; These stupid boys that you’ve given so much to, you don’t think you could ever love any other.

One you’ve helped get out of a terrible degradation cycle, another you’ve helped to not lie to himself, and not as much to others.

And thanks to your down to earth humility, your heart has been stolen, and it was going to stay taken by those lovely, unique boys who have helped you out of so many ditches, and so many of life’s cracks and dents. God, how could you not fall?

Their lives were precious to you, but you had no idea how they would feel about an actual relationship, so you’ve always been terrified. Petrified and paralyzed to the bone to ever think of what may happen if you were the cause of the fracture of the friendship. You didn’t want to ruin something that has taken so long to build, yet can be torn all down due to a selfish desire.

But, maybe, just maybe, if they went to you first, confessed everything that was bottled up inside, dittoed on how you felt…

Then you might just be the luckiest person to live on this earth, there’s no doubt about that.

[dangerouscommiesubversive]

Whenever commie is no longer busy and have time (and ofc would want to write it), would you be willing to make a complete list of those who would kabedon; and the list of "who would and would not say the f/curse word"?

Oh man, you want a complete list? Well, ok, let’s go show by show here, I’m gonna get really lengthy with it. Like, I can’t go through every character in every show, but I’ll hit what I think are the major points.

Fair warning before you mash the read-more: I did, in fact, go through nearly every show I’ve seen. This post is long.

We will start with Kamen Rider.

Kamen Rider 1号: I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me you heard my grandpa say a cuss. Go on. I dare you.

Kuuga

Godai Yusuke: is capable of saying fuck, but does not, because he’s too polite. He might kabedon, but not for any romantic or sexual reasons, just because he likes to be close to people and he gets excited about stuff.

Ichijo Kaoru: says fuck on a regular basis. I think he would kabedon unironically but only in the heat of the moment.

Ra-Baruba-De: doesn’t cuss because it’s beneath her. She’d kabedon Ichijo, but would follow this up with an attempt to kill him.

Agito

Tsugami Shouichi: does not swear and cannot kabedon, although someone else might do it to him.

Hikawa Makoto: might say fuck in a moment of stress, but rarely swears otherwise. He could and would kabedon, but only in situations where doing so would get a comedic result related to his strength and clumsiness.

Ashihara Ryou, the sexiest man in the world: probably swears like a sailor and would absolutely kabedon. The very thought makes me go weak at the knees.

Kino Kaoru: definitely says “fuck,” but I don’t think he does fuck, and he certainly doesn’t kabedon.

Ozawa Sumiko, however: both says “fuck” and does it. She will kabedon, and she will stand on Omuro’s shoulders to get enough height for it.

Ryuki

Kido Shinji: always wants to swear, but doesn’t actually do it. He could kabedon, but only in anger; the thought of doing so in a romantic or sexual context would make him blush and stammer.

Akiyama Ren: can and will say “fuck” at a moment’s notice. You know he kabedons.

Kitaoka Shuichi: says “fuck” quietly, when no one can hear him except maybe Goro. He would kabedon gently and think himself very sexy.

Yura Goro: is a sweet, sweet man who neither swears nor kabedons.

Asakura Takeshi: is saying “fuck” at this very moment. He would only kabedon as a prelude to stabbing.

Tezuka Miyuki: is on this list because I love him, but he does not say “fuck” and could not be induced to. He could be kabedon’ed.

555 (we haven’t finished this one so I can’t guarantee that all characters will be included)

Inui Takumi: I’m pretty sure he could say “fuck” but I don’t think he’s actually inclined to. Kabedon’ing requires a level of investment in whatever situation that I don’t think he’d want to admit to.

Kusaka Masato: oh, absolutely.

Sonoda Mari: swears all the time. Doesn’t kabedon because she expects someone to do it to her.

Keitaro Kikuchi: is a very nice boy who does neither of these things.

Kiba Yuji: contains vast lakes of suppressed rage, and if he says “fuck” even once it might all come out. Does not kabedon for the same reason.

Osada Yuka: says “fuck,” but only in her heart. Does not kabedon.

Kaido Naoya: says “fuck,” but only when he can’t find a more ridiculous option. Absolutely kabedons at a moment’s notice.

Smart Lady: does not say “fuck.” Will definitely kabedon you, and moreover she’ll do it with her leg to make sure that the situation is just, uncomfortably sexual.

Blade

Kenzaki Kazuma: is breathtakingly earnest but nevertheless does, on occasion, say “fuck.” Doesn’t kabedon because he’s too sad.

Aikawa Hajime: has neither the inclination nor the desire to say “fuck” or to kabedon.

Tachibana Sakuya: can say “fuck,” but mostly doesn’t. Also too sad to kabedon.

Kamijou Mutsuki: would say “fuck” to get someone’s attention. He wishes he could kabedon.

Kurihara Amane: is in so much trouble with her mother for saying “fuck.”

Hibiki

Hibiki/Hidaka Hitoshi: is An Dad, and thus is theoretically capable of saying “fuck,” but if he does then it means the situation’s gotten pretty serious. (Or he’s hit his thumb with a hammer.) He can definitely kabedon, but we’ll never see him do it, because that means the situation’s gotten a different kind of serious.

Ibuki: has too much self-control and dignity to say “fuck,” but said it when he was younger. Doesn’t kabedon because it’s just...not the right vibe for him.

Todoroki: has considered saying “fuck,” but the prospect makes him blush. Cannot kabedon to save his life but desperately wishes that he could.

Zanki: comfortable with the word “fuck” but uses it sparingly. Doesn’t seem like a kabedon type.

The Children: Asumu, Kyosuke, and Akira can all definitely say “fuck” just by dint of being high schoolers brimming with all kinds of messy emotions. Kyosuke would definitely attempt to kabedon someone, although he might not do it well.

The Tachibana Sisters: anyone who runs a restaurant can say “fuck.”

Kabuki: like Miyuki, above, is included because I adore him, even though he’s a movie-exclusive character. Definitely says “fuck.” Might kabedon in the process of tricking someone, but wouldn’t do it seriously.

Kabuto

Tendou Souji: feels that saying “fuck” is beneath him. Wouldn’t kabedon so much as he’d very gently brace himself against the wall and lean in, which, let’s be real, is much sexier.

Tendou Juka: you know that comic that people have done all those redraws of? I think this one is the original? This is an accurate representation of what would happen to someone, possibly Kagami, if Juka said “fuck.”

Kagami Arata: is all the time saying “fuck,” at least in his head, but doesn’t often say it out loud because it would draw the wrong kind of attention. Would kabedon Souji, probably, who would be surprised and then quietly delighted.

Kusakabe Hiyori: unlikely to say “fuck,” and if she did I suspect Tendou would take it badly (see above entry for Juka). Might be kabedon’ed, but would definitely knee the perpetrator in the groin.

Kamishiro Tsurugi: my beautiful son does not know what the word “fuck” means, but would definitely kabedon because he’s excitable.

Yaguruma Sou and Kageyama Shun: get one line because they do things together--imagine, if you will, Yaguruma saying “fuck” and Kageyama echoing him quietly a moment later. They would also kabedon together.

Kazama Daisuke: would say “fuck” very quietly. Does not kabedon.

Den-O

Nogami Ryotaro: cannot say any swear words without suffering a potentially fatal nosebleed. May have kabedon’ed once in a dream, but the thought of him attempting it in real life is actually laughable.

Hana: says “fuck” as an adult. As a child, says it more. Does not kabedon, because why bother?

Naomi: can do whatever she likes and I will support her.

Momotaros: says “fuck” regularly and with gusto. Kabedons as a greeting.

Urataros: does not use any curse words because women find them off-putting--unless the woman he’s with swears, in which case he does too. Will kabedon if it is situationally appropriate for getting laid.

Ryuutaros: see, again, this comic, but this time the person doing the shocked face and then later the punching is me. He does not know what a kabedon is.

Kintaros: is probably asleep. Believes that excessive swearing is unmanly. Doesn’t see the point of kabedon.

Sieg: believes that excessive swearing is unfit for a prince, but will very occasionally say “fuck” if it’ll get every eye in the room on him. Unaware of kabedon.

Kiva

Kurenai Wataru: does not.

Kurenai Otoya: does both, vigorously.

Asou Megumi: says “fuck,” doesn’t kabedon. Would encourage someone else to kabedon her though.

Asou Yuri: absolutely says “fuck” all the time, might kabedon Otoya to shut him up.

Jirou: I actually don’t think he swears? Definitely kabedons though.

Nago Keisuke: says “fuck,” but feels bad about it afterwards. Might kabedon from anger, or if induced to by Megumi.

Nobori Taiga: is far too polite to say “fuck,” but occasionally thinks it. Does not kabedon.

Decade

Kadoya Tsukasa: there is no question that he says “fuck” all the time. Not the romantic kabedon type, much to Daiki’s disappointment. May kabedon in other situations, though.

Kaitou Daiki: says “fuck” only occasionally, but with feeling. Would like Tsukasa to kabedon him.

Hikari Natsumi: says “fuck” regularly and energetically. Will sit on Yuusuke’s shoulders to kabedon Tsukasa.

Onodera Yuusuke: does not say “fuck” at all. Cannot kabedon because he is too busy giving Natsumi a boost.

W

Hidari Shoutaro: believes that saying “fuck” is unbecoming of a true man, but still says it if he stubs his toe. Kabedons unintentionally and then blushes when he realizes what he’s done.

Philip: has said “fuck” a total of once and then went down a rabbit hole looking into its etymology. Kabedons intentionally and with forethought, and then completely loses the thread of things as soon as Shoutaro starts blushing.

Narumi Akiko: says “fuck” just to shock Shoutaro. Definitely kabedon’ed Terui at least once, which he was unspeakably charmed by.

Terui Ryuu: is not open to questions about whether or not he says “fuck.” Only kabedons out of frustration.

OOO

Hino Eiji: neither says “fuck” nor kabedons.

Ankh: both says “fuck” and kabedons, and both are generally directed at Eiji. In fact, since he is only a hand, kabedon is an important part of his physical vocabulary.

Izumi Hina: does not say “fuck.” Would break a wall if she kabedon’ed, and thus it’s fortunate that she isn’t inclined to anyway.

Gotou Shintarou: would blush terribly if he ever said “fuck,” or for that matter if he attempted to kabedon.

Satonaka Erika: considers the word “fuck” an important part of her vocabulary, to be used sparingly. Kabedons Gotou, and at least once Date.

Date Akira: says “fuck,” but not in, like, an aggressive way? Just as an expression of mild distress. It does not occur to him to kabedon.

Fourze

Kisaragi Gentarou: is not legally allowed to say rude words. Would kabedon out of an excess of enthusiasm and then be deeply confused if the recipient blushed.

Sakuta Ryuusei: says “fuck” sparingly and only when it’ll have an impact. Does not kabedon.

Utahoshi Kengo: says “fuck” frequently and with enthusiasm. Doesn’t see the point of kabedon.

Jojima Yuuki: like Gentarou, is not legally permitted to curse. Kabedon would not occur to her unless it could be some way related to space.

Kazashiro Miu: says “fuck” occasionally. Kabedons when appropriate, which is rarely.

Daimonji Shun: wishes he could say “fuck,” but can’t quite bring himself to.  Doesn’t kabedon anymore, but he used to.

JK: only says “fuck” deniably. Strictly a receiver of kabedon.

Nozama Tomoko: doesn’t use curse words, she uses curses. Doesn’t kabedon, but appreciates it when she sees others do it.

Wizard

Souma Haruto: definitely says “fuck” sometimes. Prefers a flirtatious lean against a convenient wall over kabedon.

Nitoh Kosuke: says "fuck," but only if his grandma can't hear him--unless there's a notable archeological discovery in the offing, in which case all bets are off. Thinks he's too slick to kabedon, but he's not.

Fueki Koyomi: no.

Nara Shunpei: absolutely not.

Daimon Rinko: has said "fuck" on occasion and would certainly do it again. I can't imagine a kabedon from her though.

Gaim

Kazuraba Kouta: seems like he secretly swears kind of a lot. Does not kabedon because he is, at base, a deeply non-aggressive individual.

Kumon Kaito: says "fuck" at least once a day. Absolutely kabedons, but mainly because he's annoyed and slapping a person seems tactically unsound.

Kureshima Mitsuzane (Micchi): says "fuck" to sound edgy. Would like to kabedon but no one would take it seriously.

Kureshima Takatora: will use the word "fuck" sparingly, and only to indicate that The Situation Has Gotten Bad Indeed. Does not know what kabedon is.

Sengoku Ryouma: says "fuck" occasionally, and with malicious good cheer. Does not kabedon, but if he would like to give it a shot, I am available.

Takatsukasa Mai: says "fuck" quietly but with frequency. Doesn't see a good reason to kabedon anyone.

Oren Pierre Alfonso: only swears in French. Dismisses kabedon as a thing for callow youths, but despite this he did once have a heated dream of doing it to Takatora.

Drive

Tomari Shinnosuke: says "fuck" if he's hit his leg on a table or something, but in more serious situations he does not curse. I cannot possibly imagine him trying to kabedon, it's impossible.

Shijima Kiriko: doesn't swear as much as one might think; "fuck" is for special occasions. Will use a kabedon to get someone's attention.

Shijima Gou: says "fuck" all the time. Would like to kabedon, but hasn't found the right person yet.

Chase: does not swear. Does not kabedon--he's interested in human behavior but that's just nonsense.

Sawagami Rinna: is a professional engineer and thus uses the word “fuck” as punctuation. Might kabedon, but it’s unlikely.

Mr. Belt/Krim Steinbelt: mutters “fuck” quietly when Shinnosuke isn’t paying attention. Does not have arms.

Heart: has said "fuck" experimentally but didn't like the mouthfeel. Delighted by the very concept of kabedon but hasn't done it yet.

Brain: believes that swearing is a sign that you have nothing constructive, intelligent, or amusing to say. Provided Heart with the comics from which they both learned about kabedon, and since then the thought of Heart doing it to him has occupied his every waking moment.

Medic: has thought about saying "fuck" but isn't sure that she really wants to. Stole those comics from Brain and now she, too, would like Heart to kabedon.

Ghost

Tenkuuji Takeru: the thought of saying “fuck” has genuinely never entered his head. More someone who is kabedon’ed than someone who does it himself.

Fukami Makoto: can theoretically say “fuck,” but mostly doesn’t. Would maybe kabedon if the moment seemed appropriate.

Alain: thinks saying “fuck” is sort of uncouth but does it anyway. Wants to know what kabedon is, please tell him about it.

Tsukimura Akari: does not get enough sleep or lab time for anyone to be able to stop her from saying “fuck.” Has kabedon’ed out of excitement, but never for romantic reasons.

Yamanouchi Onari: tries not to say “fuck” because he’s supposed to be setting a good example, but sometimes it just slips out. Definitely doesn’t kabedon, but that’s more out of cowardice than a sense of restraint.

Fukami Kanon: see the comic previously linked to for reference for what would happen if Makoto found out that someone had taught Kanon how to say “fuck.” Reads comics in which there is the occasional kabedon, kind of wishes Alain would do it.

Ex-Aid

Hojo Emu: doesn’t say “fuck” because he works with children. Doesn’t kabedon because it’s not his style.

Parad: absolutely says “fuck,” if only to see Emu drop something in surprise. Thinks kabedon looks fun.

Kagami Hiiro: is too uptight to say “fuck” and too shy to kabedon.

Kujou Kiriya: uses “fuck” as an expression of low-key dismay. Does his best flirting from across the room, but might kabedon if it seemed like the reaction would be entertaining.

Hanaya Taiga: barely even thinks of “fuck” as a word, it’s just a noise he makes when he’s annoyed. Kabedon’ing would require him to get much closer to people than he wants to.

Dan Kuroto: definitely says “fuck,” are you kidding? Even before he was a cackling supervillain he was, at least partially, a software engineer. Does not kabedon.

Poppy Pipopapo: no.

Saiba Nico: says “fuck” all the time as long as Taiga’s not looking. Will not admit to reading the kind of comics where a kabedon might occur, but definitely does.

Graphite: thinks all of this is human nonsense and yet is, despite himself, intrigued.

Build

Kiryuu Sento: probably says “fuck” more than any other main Rider. Yes, even Tsukasa. Is kabedon’ed.

Banjou Ryuuga: says “fuck” because MMA guys have foul mouths, although he did clean up his language a bit when Kasumi was still alive. Kabedons.

Isurugi Misora: if Misora says “fuck” then something terrible is about to happen. Would laugh at anyone who asked if she knew how to kabedon. Would knee anyone who tried it on her in the groin. Kazumi knows this well.

Takigawa Sawa: considers the word “fuck” an essential part of her vocabulary, to be used frequently and sometimes at a great volume. Knows how to kabedon due to spy training but does not use it in her personal life.

Sawatari Kazumi: says “fuck” all the time, unless Misora is paying attention to him. Thinks that kabedon is very sexy and that he’s very good at it; mileage may vary on whether this is actually true.

Himuro Gentoku: says “fuck” softly and solemnly when something really bad has happened. Maybe he kabedons, I’m genuinely not sure.

Evolt: probably does both, but I’m not getting close enough to check.

Zi-O

Tokiwa Sougo: doesn’t swear because it’s not kingly. Does not kabedon.

Myoukouin Geiz: surprisingly, does not tend to curse. Definitely kabedons, not always romantically.

Woz: doesn’t say “fuck,” because there are more roundabout ways to express his frustration. Kabedons, sometimes for romantic reasons and sometimes just to be weird about things.

Tsukuyomi: specifically uses the word “fuck” to indicate that things have gotten serious. If Geiz isn’t going to get around to kabedon’ing her, she’s going to do it to him.

Zero-One

Hiden Aruto: look obviously I can’t really comment on these characters because I haven’t watched that show yet but just from the clips I’ve seen I think Aruto would spontaneously combust if he said “fuck.”

Saber

Kamiyama Touma: says “fuck” sometimes, especially if he’s very tired. Thinks kabedon is kind of a tired plot device.

Sudou Mei: doesn’t think saying “fuck” is that big of a deal, uses it to express irritation. Agrees with Touma that kabedon is overused as a plot device, but likes it nonetheless.

Shindo Rintarou: oh my god no, definitely not.

Fukamiya Kento: uses the word “fuck” the way other people might use the word “moist”--it’s not a word he likes to say, but it has its place. Not generally aggressive enough to kabedon, but might if it seemed useful.

Akamichi Ren: is a teen edgelord and thus says “fuck” a lot. Talks a big game, but is secretly too shy for a successful kabedon.

Ogami Ryo: has tried to clean up his language since becoming a dad and been pretty successful with it. Doesn’t kabedon anymore, but did once.

Daishinji Tetsuo: says “fuck” when he’s working on things. Kabedon generally involves prolonged eye contact, so no.

Sophia: good heavens no, can you imagine?

Tassel: might be a divinity of some kind, can swear if he wants although he’d probably do it in French, but if he kabedons then I’m a walrus. I love Tassel.

All right, that’s Kamen Rider done! Now on to...

Super Sentai

AkaRed: if AkaRed ever said “fuck” I think something in the multiverse would be profoundly damaged--oh, hell, this is how Zenkaiger happens, isn’t it?

Dairanger

Ryo of the Heavenly Fire Star: doesn’t say “fuck,” but you might when you taste his gyoza. They’re the best in the world, you know. It has never occurred to him to kabedon.

Daigo of the Heavenly Illusion Star: is too gentle to say “fuck,” or for that matter to kabedon. (Besides, anyone who tries to kabedon Kujaku is going to be in for some difficulty.)

Bullet Shoji, Warrior of Love: used to say “fuck,” because he used to be in a gang, but doesn’t anymore. Doesn’t kabedon because he tries not to intimidate people.

Kazu of the Heavenly Time Star: doesn’t say “fuck,” he just kinda makes a hiss noise if he’s irritated. Doesn’t object to kabedon in theory but not interested in doing it himself.

Rin of the Heavenly Wind Star: does sometimes say “fuck,” much to her uncle’s dismay. Does not kabedon.

Kou of the Howling New Star: is a horrible child and says “fuck” regularly. Too immature to be allowed to kabedon.

Kakuranger

Tsuruhime: does not say “fuck,” because if she’s mad she can just smack someone. She is fairly sure that people don’t actually kabedon in real life.

Sasuke: has said “fuck” once or twice but mostly tries not to. Too friendly to kabedon.

Saizou and Seikai: get one line because they’re attached at the hip. They are too goofy to say “fuck,” and would only ever manage to kabedon each other.

Jiraiya: not only does he say “fuck,” he will actually be saying “fuck” and not a Japanese equivalent, because he is more comfortable speaking English. I cannot imagine this man attempting to kabedon.

Ninjaman: is tremendously excited to learn about modern cursing, but never actually uses the words he’s learned because his teachers would be mad at him. Naturally too large to practice safe kabedon.

Hurricaneger

Please know that I’m not very far into this series yet, so this is based on fairly early impressions.

Shiina Yousuke: does not say “fuck” but often wants to. Doesn’t kabedon because it seems really aggressive, especially if you’re trying to kiss someone.

Nono Nanami: sometimes thinks the word “fuck” but doesn’t say it. While she’s read a few comics which contain kabedon, the thought of putting the concept into practice has never occurred to her.

Bitou Kouta: would never say “fuck” because children might hear him. Doesn’t kabedon because he’s a gentle soul.

Kasumi Ikkou and Kasumi Isshu: I just met these boys last night but I know in my heart that they both say “fuck,” and moreover they mean it. They also definitely kabedon.

Furabijo and Wendinu: can call me, please, I’m apocalyptically in love with you both.

Gekiranger

Same as Hurricaneger--I’m not that far in, we don’t even have the extra guys yet, but I sure do have some thoughts about the folks we’ve got so far.

Kando Jan: doesn’t even know the word “fuck,” probably has some cute repetitive term for sex that he uses instead. Doesn’t know what a kabedon is either.

Uzaki Ran: may say “fuck” very occasionally if she sustains an injury during training. Not inclined to kabedon.

Fukami Retsu: will pretend that he’s too in control of himself to swear, but does on occasion say “fuck.” Sees no reason to kabedon.

Mele: says “fuck,” but never when Leo can hear her. Doesn’t kabedon, would like someone else (*coughcoughLeocoughcough*) to do so though.

Leo: says “fuck” like he’s chewing on something and spitting it out. Definitely kabedons, but has no idea that this might have romantic or sexual implications.

Shinkenger

Shiba Takeru: does not say “fuck” anymore, because once he said it in front of Jii, who lost his mind. Could kabedon, he’s capable of it, but he’s a little too wound up in himself.

Ikenami Ryunosuke: would never say “fuck.” Not a kabedon type because it seems rude.

Shiraishi Mako: used to work with children, and thus didn’t say “fuck” for years, but now does occasionally--mainly while cooking. Doesn’t kabedon because she has other ways of getting in your face.

Tani Chiaki: is a Gamer and thus definitely says “fuck.” Nonetheless, respects women too much to kabedon them and the only men he might kabedon he is slightly afraid of.

Hanaori Kotoha: is a sweet, precious girl, very dear to my heart, who certainly does not swear or kabedon.

Umemori Genta: only says “fuck” if he cuts himself while preparing fish, or while arguing with fish vendors. Might kabedon to be goofy, but never seriously.

Kusakabe Hikoma/Jii: definitely had kind of a wild youth. Takeru once heard him say “fuck” to a kuroko while working on the clan accounts and has never recovered from the shock. Doesn’t kabedon anymore, but he did once.

Shiba Kaoru: doesn’t actually know the word “fuck” or anything about kabedon, and isn’t going to learn if Tanba has anything to say about it.

Gokaiger--one of the ones I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for

Captain Marvelous: I think we all know that the answer is yes on both counts.

Joe Gibken: says “fuck” quietly in serious situations, and loudly if Marvelous is deliberately getting on his nerves. Does not typically kabedon.

Luka Millfy: uses “fuck” as a general intensifier. Likes guys she can intimidate a little, so she does kabedon, but she mainly does it to Doc and Gai.

Don Dogoier/Doc: if you hear Doc say “fuck” it’s probably the middle of the night and he’s repairing an engine problem. Certainly does not kabedon.

Ahim de Famille: cursing is unladylike--not that she always tries to be ladylike, but she just doesn’t see the point there. Doesn’t kabedon.

Ikari Gai: probably uses some sort of goofy minced oath like “fudge” unless in the actual throes of passion. Doesn’t really have the poise to kabedon.

Basco ta Jolokia: only says “fuck” when no one is listening, because otherwise he might seem less than poised. Would kabedon Marvelous to get a rise out of him.

Go-Busters

Sakurada Hiromu: seems like he’d probably drop the occasional “fuck.” I’m of two minds on the kabedon thing; I think that he could, but I’m not sure that he would.

Iwasaki Ryuji: says “fuck” if he’s working late on some problem. Doesn’t kabedon because he doesn’t want to scare people.

Usami Youko: says “fuck” specifically because it gets Ryuji to make a shocked face at her. Might kabedon if she found someone short enough. She will never find someone short enough.

Nick, Gorisaki, and Usada: no, definitely not.

Masato Jin: says “fuck” with the casual manner of a man who has definitely not just dropped a wrench on his foot. Doesn’t kabedon, but has joked about doing so.

Beet J. Stag (the “J” stands for “Jueki”): says “fuck,” but doesn’t know what it means. Who would he even kabedon?

Enter: only swears in French. Would kabedon with one of his creepy tentacles.

Kyouryuger

Kiryuu Daigo “King”: is a ludicrously perfect shoujo manga love interest, and thus does not say “fuck” but does kabedon in a sexy way.

Ian Yorkland: says “fuck” on dig sites but not in polite company. Might kabedon if it’d make the girl in question smile, does not kabedon men.

Udo Nobuharu: used to say “fuck” sometimes, but doesn’t now that he’s helping to raise Rika. Too busy and tired to kabedon.

Rippukan Souji: is too uptight to do either.

Amy Yuzuki: doesn’t say “fuck,” just makes irritated noises. Might kabedon if it would get someone to stop screwing around and pay attention to her.

Utsusemimaru: is familiar with neither the word “fuck” nor the concept of kabedon, although he might learn about the latter from some of Amy’s manga.

Yayoi Ulshade: says “fuck” when she’s working. Perpetually disappointed that she will never get Daigo to kabedon her.

Candelira and Luckyuro: my beautiful wife and her adorable son have no knowledge of these things.

ToQger

Right, Tokacchi, Mio, Hikari, and Kagura: are all children and thus are barred from engaging with these things. Although I suppose now they’re all fifteen or sixteen, so maybe some of them have started cussing, but I refuse to contemplate it.

Nijino Akira: doesn’t know the word “fuck,” but if he did he’d use it. Doesn’t know about kabedon either, and wouldn’t use it if he did, because that involves getting way too close to people.

Wagon: much like Smart Lady, would kabedon with her leg, but in her case she’s trying to be cute and fun, not creepy. Does not say “fuck.”

Emperor Zett: can in theory say “fuck,” but hasn’t found an occasion to do so. Would kabedon to intimidate, I think he’d kinda puff up like a little angry wren.

Jyuohger

Kazakiri Yamato: will only say “fuck” if he’s just been bitten by an animal he’s taking care of, and even then only if it really hurts. Doesn’t kabedon.

Sera: doesn’t say “fuck” because there’s always something more cutting available. Would bite anyone who kabedon’ed her.

Leo: says “fuck” as long as there are no girls listening. Has been bitten by Sera at least once as punishment for kabedon crimes.

Tusk: says “fuck” about paper cuts, but nothing else. Doesn’t kabedon.

Amu: doesn’t say “fuck” because there are cuter ways to get mad. Doesn’t kabedon herself, but will take any kabedon from someone else as an opportunity to get them to do something for her.

Mondou Misao: says “fuck” sometimes, always apologizes directly afterward. Far too nervous to kabedon.

Bard: says “fuck” at least once a week. Isn’t clear on what kabedon is.

Uncle Mario: you leave Uncle Mario alone.

Kyuuranger

Lucky: does not say “fuck.” Might kabedon in a moment of high spirits.

Garu: is a polite man who neither says “fuck” nor kabedons.

Stinger: says “fuck” frequently. Kabedons with his tail.

Hame: says “fuck” quietly but often. Doesn’t kabedon, and would just vanish if someone did it to her.

Raptor-283: says “fuck” very rarely, but at great volume. Dreams of being kabedon’ed, this is canonical.

Champ: doesn’t curse, and thinks kabedon looks dangerous.

Spada: only says “fuck” in the kitchen, where he can say whatever he pleases, grazie. Could be kabedon’ed.

Balance: says “fuck” if he’s panicking, but only then. Might kabedon for fun.

Naaga Rei: doesn’t do either, and would be terribly puzzled if someone kabedon’ed him.

Shou Ronpou: said “fuck” once when he got his finger caught in the Kyuulette. Isn’t familiar with kabedon, but thinks it looks fun.

Kotaro: is ten years old.

Ootori Tsurugi: doesn’t say “fuck” because it’s not grandiose enough. Definitely kabedons, we see him do it at least once in the show.

LupinRanger Vs. PatRanger

Asaka Keiichiro:  might say “fuck” if he’s really angry, but would feel bad about it. Would blush if he kabedon’ed Kairi, but would still do it.

Yano Kairi: has been saying “fuck” on the reg since he was twelve. Would kabedon to make Keiichiro squirm.

Hikawa Sakuya: might say “shit” on occasion, but never “fuck.” Wishes he was the kind of guy who could kabedon.

Yoimachi Tooma: doesn’t say “fuck,” but does think it loudly. Too reserved to kabedon.

Myoujin Tsukasa: could potentially say “fuck,” but chooses not to. Not a kabedon type.

Hayami Umika: mostly has pretty clean language, but will say “fuck” when she’s sewing, especially if she’s just stuck a needle into her finger, which hurts like a bitch. Doesn’t kabedon herself, might giggle if someone did it to her.

Takao Noël: only swears in French, but does so in extensive and exacting detail. Kabedons, but in a chill way.

Zamigo Delma: thinks the word “fuck” is extremely funny. Would kabedon Kairi to make him uncomfortable, but if Kairi’s unavailable then he’s welcome to look me up.

Ryusoulger

Koh: has never said a swear in his entire life. Doesn’t kabedon.

Melto: says “fuck” often, but quietly, so that the others don’t hear him. Seems kabedon’able to me.

Asuna: doesn’t actually know the word “fuck.” Wouldn’t kabedon, like, on purpose? But she’d definitely do it unintentionally, please see this comic for reference.

Towa: will say “fuck” sometimes if his brother won’t catch him at it. Overconfident enough to kabedon, but I don’t think it’d occur to him.

Banba: says “fuck” if things have gotten very bad. Kabedons only rarely, when he needs to be very serious about something. Yes, sometimes that something is “I think about kissing you with such frequency that it’s interfering with my ability to focus.”

Canalo: doesn’t say “fuck” because Mosa Rex would be disappointed in him. Would never kabedon, if he even knows what that is, due to his overpowering Respect for Women. (It has never occurred to him that one might kabedon anyone but a woman.)

Oto: might say “fuck,” and if she did then Canalo would specifically blame Melto.

Nada: uses “fuck” as an expression of dismay, like, “well, fuck.” Not into the whole kabedon thing.

Tatsui Ui: might have said “fuck” once, but then was so embarrassed that she got a case of hysterical giggles. Absolutely does not kabedon.

Super Sentai is done! That was exhausting! Wow! On to...

Ultra Series

I have seen very few Ultra shows, so this section’s gonna be short.

Orb

Kurenai Gai: doesn’t say “fuck,” does curse in some kind of alien language. Doesn’t kabedon, I bet it’d make him blush, although mostly he doesn’t seem like the blushing type either.

Jugglus Juggler: says “fuck” regularly and with relish. Was once described by someone very wise as having “big kabedon energy,” which is to say, of course he does.

Yumeno Naomi: definitely says “fuck” and doesn’t care who hears her. Will kabedon Gai and Juggler simultaneously, one with each hand, and they will both be impressed and maybe a little turned on.

Hayami Jetta: says “fuck” sometimes, but not as frequently as he’d like people to think. Might try to kabedon, although he wouldn’t necessarily succeed at it.

Matsudo Shin: does neither of these things, as they have no relevance to science.

Geed

I can’t really say much about Geed, since we’re not even ten episodes in, but what I can say for certain is:

Asakura Riku: is too nice a boy to say “fuck” and not intense enough to kabedon.

Toba Laiha: definitely says “fuck” on occasion. Would kabedon with her sword.

Pega: is a child.

Igaguri Leito: does neither of these things, he is a sweet man. And I think Zero would disapprove.

Fukuide Kei: says “fuck” with frequency. I think he would, theoretically, kabedon, but there’s no one on Earth he’d do it to.

Belial: I haven’t actually, like, met Belial, but I’m fairly sure his existence is a concentrated dose of the word “fuck,” in the sense of, “oh, fuck, it’s Belial.” If he kabedon’ed he could destroy the planet, please do not let him.

R/B

I’m even less far into R/B, since I’m watching it by myself.

Minato Katsumi and Minato Isami: they do not.

Aizen Makoto: is too weird to do either of these things.

All right, we’re done with the brief foray into the Ultras. Now, last but very much not least, we have...

Garo

Of which I have only watched the original continuity, none of the Ryuuga stuff yet, so it’s a slightly limited take. However, I love all of these characters dearly, so here we go!

Saejima Kouga: is way too upright (and uptight) to say “fuck.” Doesn’t know what kabedon is, wouldn’t do it if he did.

Suzumura Rei: is a man who swears colorfully and at length and uses “fuck” to add a little bit of pep to things. Definitely kabedons, with varying levels of success depending on who he’s trying it on.

Fudou Leo: is a soft-spoken man, but nevertheless does occasionally mutter “fuck” quietly when he’s working on a Madou device. Blushes and stammers at the very suggestion of kabedon.

Mitsuki Kaoru: might say “fuck,” but only in the absolute heights of fury, which are rare for her. Not inclined to kabedon, but even if she was, who could she even do it to? The shortest person she might kabedon is Rei, who is seven inches taller than her, and it only gets worse from there. She’d need a boost to reach, and my dude Gonza’s back is not good enough for that.

Jabi: believes too strongly in the value of language well-used to say “fuck” except when absolutely necessary. Could kabedon with her leg, probably, and would if she thought it’d be useful.

Rekka: says “fuck” sometimes, mostly to express irritation. Most likely to kabedon with a knife or something.

Saejima Raiga, Mayuri, and Crow: I only barely know these kids but I adore them. None of them are allowed to do any cursing. They do not kabedon.

Madou Ring Zaruba: is a ring, so obviously he can’t kabedon, but he can say “fuck,” and I think sometimes he does.

The Moral Of This Story Is: never ask me for a comprehensive list of anything, because I cannot be trusted to do anything but go completely overboard.

[artificialqueens]

I'm Not Into Sometimes, Chapter 2 (Rosnali) - SnowBun

A/N: Very proud of this chapter <3 finally feel myself getting back to the writing style I enjoy the most. I hope you like reading this is as much as I like writing it. much love everyone xx

Summary: When Denali goes viral for posting a dance video, she doesn’t expect it to lead her to becoming a choreographer for Rosé, an up and coming singer destined for fame. Denali thinks that this might be her first (and only) shot at achieving her dream. If only her dream wasn’t wrapped up in a flurry of pink hair, charm and a supposedly professional relationship.

—

Release comes in the sound of blades scraping against ice. It is the feeling of her core tightening as she pushes off the ground and becomes the world turning on its axis. She is this moment of weightlessness and control.

Then her head begins to fog with visions of spinning rose-colored tops across a dark wooden floor, so endlessly mesmerizing. Her mind fills with questions of intrigue and challenge, the first time she’s ever seen duality so up close. Oh, to be so breathlessly enamored by beauty and talent.

It’s the loss of focus that weighs her down, causing her to land shakily on her right foot. She extends her left leg for balance and slides not-so-gracefully on the ice. She hears Olivia cheer in the sidelines, all bright white smile and wonder. It brings her back to the rink and away from the studio.

She skates over, pressing her forehead to the fence. “It’s not so bad.” She thinks. The rest of the world is slowly but surely getting hooked on Rosé, and she lives up to every expectation and more. She thinks it’s perfectly normal to feel a little charmed by her.

Even if she was a bitch at first.

“What’s wrong?”

Then again, she can’t quite answer Olivia’s question. She isn’t a fan from half way across the world. She’s the damn choreographer. She’s in New York, seeing her old friends and grasping onto her dream.

Said dream just had to come in the form of pink hair and clear brown eyes.

She shakes her head and smiles. “Nothing’s wrong, Liv.”

—

At first, she thinks she’s just so tired that she’s seeing things. When she blinks, she realizes that her eyes aren’t lying and that Rosé really is right there, sitting on the dance studio floor at 6:30 in the morning. She’s staring at intently at her phone, with an expression that can only be described as upset fury. She becomes too absorbed in typing to even notice Denali come in.

“Hey.”

She looks up and her face softens into a small smile. There it goes again, that weird feeling of nakedness that comes with being looked at by those eyes. The combination of this and the lack of sleep is disconcerting, but she manages to smile back anyway.

“Hey.” Rosé procures a coffee cup from behind her and reaches up to pass it. “I got you coffee.”

It takes her a minute to process, way too taken aback by the gesture. She’s always prided herself on being difficult to phase, but when a woman who is basically her employer that she barely knows hands her coffee, it’s hard not to act surprised.

Nonetheless, she accepts it gratefully, muttering a ‘thanks’ as she sits down on the floor beside her.

For a while, she stills as Rosé continues to type with such force that Denali’s scared that she might end up cracking the screen somehow. She wonders in silence, but she’d be lying if she says she’s not tempted to cross the arbitrary line and ask if something is wrong.

“Sorry.” Rosé’s voice suddenly rings clear, but the world around them still feels quiet, tranquil almost. “Just a lot of stuff that needs to get done before the video shoot.”

“Mmm,” Denali says, as she sips her coffee. “It’s fine, I don’t mind.”

Even if the phone has been tucked into the pocket of her bag, Rosé opts for stretching out her legs in front of her and yawning instead of getting up. She turns her head to look at the choreographer whose gaze is directed at the cup in her hand.

“So,” She draws out the word lazily, cocking her head to the side. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“What do you think of Phenomenon?”

It’s a difficult question to answer. If she says something bad, she’s kicked off this project. If she says something good, she’s just kissing ass. She knows that the only right answer to this question is her own opinion, but when her mother told her that honesty is the best policy, she’s not sure this is the situation that she had in mind.

“Honestly?” Rosé nods. “I think it’s great. The lyrics are good, the production is amazing, your vocals are fantastic. Plus it’s your own brand of witty and self-assured. Not sure what’s not to like there.”

She isn’t sure if this was the answer Rosé expected from her. All she hears is a sigh and they sink once again into that comfortable silence while Denali finishes her coffee. She doesn’t really know much, or anything really, about the woman beside her, but in the stillness of the morning, she feels comfortable.

“Right,” Rosé’s voice is soft and she hates herself for the ache that starts to bloom in her chest. “What’s not to like?”

She tries to ignore it, that stupid idea that this true vulnerability and not just small talk between colleagues; but she sees those eyes staring into the empty space, watches the beams of sunlight give her a blush halo. The ache spreads through her body and she bites her tongue to stop from begging to know what she could possibly not like.

Denali stands up and throws away her cup in a bin in the corner of the room. “Anyway,” She reaches out a hand to help her up. “We should get to work.”

Rosé smirks up at her and she thinks that the ache is threatening to cause an implosion. “Oh, so she’s all work and no play, huh?” She says, grabbing at her hand.

Then they’re face to face and Denali can feel the tug, that back and forth that comes with the competition that is flirting. She laughs a little, tries her best to play it cool. “I have to work hard if I want to play hard, don’t I?”

She walks away with a pair of eyes on her back and an ache that won’t go away.

—

“Are you going to spill all the tea now or what?”

Her eyebrows raise behind the glass of vodka cranberry that she’s holding. Of course, Mik wants to get straight to the gossip. She’d be surprised with any other conversation starter to their Friday night, almost a week since she’d arrived in New York. The bar Mik chose is a little too crowded for her taste, filled with other women who have been eyeing her. She notices but she ignores it in favor of the woman in front of her.

“What happened to ‘how have you been, Denali?’ or ‘how’s New York, Denali?’”

“Okay whatever,” Mik rolls her eyes. “How are you?”

“Tired.” She answers in a heartbeat.

“And would that have anything to do with a certain singer whose name rhymes with… shit, I can’t think of anything.”

She purses her lips together. If she’s honest, working with Rosé is probably the least tiring thing on her agenda. The ice skating in the early evenings as a bid to tire herself to sleep hasn’t been working. All its led to is sleepless nights staring at the ceiling until she sees the first vestiges of day creep through the windows, signaling another turn on the earth’s axis.

In the studio with Rosé, she can at the very least find some peace. The understanding that they are both good at what they do and the comfort of knowing that each day with her is a chance to know her more drives her to get out of bed and into the studio.

“A part of it, yeah.” It’s the tiniest bit of truth and Mik doesn’t look one bit sated by it. “What else am I supposed to tell you?”

“Oh, come on,” It’s that signature Mik whine that finally gets a laugh out of her. “You have to tell me something, anything!”

“You’re an MUA that works with runway models. You know enough famous people as it is.”

“That doesn’t make me any less curious about them.”

She bites her tongue when she hears those words. It’s not like she’s any different. Every morning with Rosé is an established routine with coffee and curiosity on both ends. The existing respect for each other’s craft makes them both wonder about the person underneath.

So, they start to ask questions. How’s New York? Where’d you get the coffee? How’s your morning? What’s the name of that guy on TV who used to host Fear Factor and is a shithead now?

Like clockwork, the questions morph into flirting. It’s standard, innocent, verging on comfortable even. Rosé is always the first to break into a blush, true to her name. At times, Denali thinks that she may have gone too far, but then she sees those eyes again, all amusement and interest. Each interaction is a chance for the ache to spread somewhere new along with the growing assurance that there’s nothing to dislike.

“I don’t know, okay?” She finally lets out. “We work great together and we get along, but it’s not like, ‘ooo, you’re my new bestie’ or anything like that.”

“Hmm,” Mik lets out a him, popping the straw out of her mouth. “That’s interesting.”

“Why is that interesting?”

“Let’s just say my sources tell me she doesn’t get along with everyone.”

Her eyebrows scrunch together at that. Sure, she understands that Rosé isn’t exactly everyone’s glass of wine, especially with the cold seriousness that she handles her music, but she respects that about her.

What’s not to like?

“Well, I don’t think she’s a bitch, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Or maybe you want to be her bitch…”

“Oh, fuck you!” She throws a tissue at Mik’s face as the model cackles in delight. Her phone suddenly chimes, a message from an unknown number popping up on the screen.

?: hey, I got your number from Tamisha

“Who is it?”

Damn her and her expressive features. She keeps quiet, brain going at breakneck speed to think of all the reasons why she’s texting on a Friday night when she probably has at least a hundred different parties to go to and a thousand different women trying to catch her eye.

Denali: really hope this is rose and not the guy standing outside Tamisha’s office who keeps asking me out

“It’s just Rosé.” She watches Mik’s mouth turn into an O-shape and she throws another tissue. “No, no, not what you’re thinking, sweetie.”

At least she doesn’t think so. Harmless flirting is one thing, but getting her number from her manager? They keep stepping closer and closer to the line and she thinks she sees the chalk start to smudge.

?: sorry to disappoint, it’s just rosé

Denali: too bad. what’s up?

“She’s texting you on a fucking Friday night.” Mik sounds absolutely dumbfounded. “Sounds a lot more than professional to me.”

She knows that Mik is right. They don’t even have practice tomorrow, so she can’t justify it as a possible cancellation. She’s about to come out with some boldfaced lie when her phone vibrates on the table.

Rose: just thought you should have my number. ps: my name is not rose

Olivia arrives and she slams her phone right down on the table.

“I’m buying us a round of shots.

—

She hates this. She loves this. Saturday morning is now the distant tip-tap of heels against the floor, click in the brain, a switch to her soul. Wake up, wake up, wake up. This is not home, it’s not her hotel room. It’s just a cold floor where she has some peace.

Then she hears that voice, every note of the song a gentle wave rushing in to carry her away from her body. Her eyes are glued shut, but it doesn’t matter when she’s already left her body behind on the shore. The voice grows louder, closer, and the waves start to grow. Her body is too far away now and she’s not sure if her eyes will ever open again.

Wake the fuck up.

“Denali?”

A poke to the ribs sends her rushing back into her own body. An involuntary groan escapes her lips and she hears a laugh from above her. She scrunches her eyes shut, terrified that any form of light might cost her the ability to see.

“What the hell?”

Her voice sounds like a croak to her ears and she manages to roll over onto her back. With a moment of preparation, she cracks open an eye. She’s greeted by the sight of Rosé kneeling over her barely functioning body, clearly trying her best not to laugh. Again, she groans and Rosé can no longer help herself.

“Why are you here?”

Honestly, she’s not sure about the answer to that one. There are bits and pieces of memories from last night printed on the back of her eyelids, but it’s all too fuzzy for her to try to piece together immediately. She remembers the sound of Olivia’s laughter mingling with Mik’s voice as they watched her throw back a seventh shot. The memory causes pain to start creeping into her head and she makes a promise to herself to never drink again.

There’s the sound of shuffling and when she looks up, Rosé isn’t kneeling above her anymore. She assumes that she’s sick and tired of her hungover ass, a perfectly valid response in her opinion. Then she hears humming beside her and sighs, glad that validity has no place in this situation. She closes her eyes again, losing herself to the light behind her eyes to ease the throbbing at her temples.

“Isn’t it a Saturday?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you here?”

“I asked you first.”

Her hands fly up to her face. Rosé is laughing again and the pain starts to spread throughout every part of her head. If only it would subside, maybe she’d finally have the energy to actually be embarrassed about waking up on the floor of her workplace.

“Went drinking.”

“Ah, and how’s that going for you?” There’s a smile in her voice. Fuck it, she thinks as she jumps straight over the line of professionalism with a flip of her middle finger. Oh well, it’s not as if this whole situation has pretty much created a void where the line should be.

“Your turn.”

Rosé goes quiet. She focuses on the sound of their breathing. Inhale, exhale. The expansion of her sides with every controlled gulp of air. She hears a plane overhead, letting the escape of air follow it far away from city streets.

“Just wanted to get away for a while.”

She turns her head, sees pale pink rose petals sprawled out on the dark floor. In the gentle light of a Saturday morning, her eyes break her promise to herself, drinking in the sight of weary beauty. She thinks she’s just hungover, but she believes she’s never seen anyone quite so pretty before.

“Well,” She looks back up at the ceiling, stark white staring back at her. “Same here.”

—

By 10:00 PM, she’s burying herself in sheets. She’s never been much of a fan of stillness, but she thinks the last week might be changing her mind.

A few hours earlier, she’d replied to Mik and Olivia’s texts, asking her if she was okay. She cursed and reassured them in the same breath. When they’d asked her where she’d ended up, she had said, “passed out on the floor.”

Half a truth is good enough, right?

If she had told them everything, she’d have to tell them that she laid in the studio for half an hour with Rosé’s humming the only thing cutting through the pounding in her head. She would have to tell them that she’d stumbled as she got up, letting warm hands guide her as she learned to stand. She’d have to tell them of the exchange of tender smiles, so different from the tug of war of flirtation that she’s accustomed to.

Her phone lights up. She expects Mik or Olivia, even Kahmora. No, she only sees that name and she giggles to herself like a damn teenager, a quiet admission that she’s allowed something to change.

Rose: pls tell me you didn’t go drinking again

Denali: I actually like having more than one brain cell, thanks

Rose: great, don’t want to have to pick you up off the floor again

Denali: won’t you ever let me live it down rose?

Rose: only if you start spelling my name right

Denali: the accent’s too much of an effort

Rose: then use my real name

Denali: ???

Rose: call me rosie

A smile graces her lips and she shoots off one last message. She places her phone on the nightstand and buries herself in the blankets, drifting into her first good sleep in a long time.

Denali: alright, night rosie

—

Monday morning suddenly frees up when Rosé says she has to move their session to the evening to make room for interviews. She fills up the rest of her morning by replying to emails about skating gigs for when she eventually returns home. She has lunch with Mik and Olivia and when they inevitably begin to pry, she stays mum on what she can only now describe as her complicated friendship with Rosé. She returns to the hotel and lets herself sleep, turning the feeling of being well-rested into a brand-new addiction.

When she arrives at the studio at 7, there’s no one there. While it isn’t like Rosé to be late, she doesn’t text. She assumes that she’s coming from yet another one of many interviews that she kindly referred to as, “shitheads trying to get way too personal.”

She settles for freestyling to loosen up while she waits. When the music starts, she feels herself break. Every moment is grounded in her own brand of ferocity and well, sex. There’s comfort in her own body, in the knowing that it is a temple of worship to herself. A signal from her brain to move, a single fluid motion, all indulgent offerings to the pleasure only she will ever feel. She throws herself into the fire and the sensation of pleasure starts to build.

The door opens, but she doesn’t, can’t stop. She feels like she’s hovering over the floor, on the brink of climax. The song peaks and she almost gasps, dropping to her knees and letting her back hit the floor. She takes a deep breath, relishes the feeling of being alive.

“Sorry.” She’s apologizing, but she’s not sure for what.

“I…” For once, Rosé is at a loss for words. Her quick wit has been thrown out the window and is probably being dragged around under the wheels of a taxi. She laughs breathily as she gets to her feet.

When their eyes meet, the air turns heavy with unspoken words and desire. She tries to look away, but she can’t. Brown gazes meet and for the first time, she permits herself the thought of what it would be like to kiss her. Maybe, just maybe, that wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“Uhm, okay! Let’s get started?” Rosé bursts out and she thinks that she might have won this round.

If the singer seems more distracted than usual, she doesn’t say anything about it.

—

The water in the shower is still cold when she receives a text that evening.

Rosie: no need to meet me for the rest of the week. We need four dancers for the video, auditions on wed

The water suddenly seems warm and for the first time in her life, she thinks she’s finally learning what it’s like to lose.

—

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Hey, I'm doing good too. Just normal amounts of stressful stuff right now. Just moved to a country I've never been to before but can't complain, things are not as hard as the last time I did this so. Thanks for asking! Yeah, I saw you posting about some pretty scary health issues before, I'm glad you came out of that alive and hope you're healthier now!

The nerve some people have! Haha I know I would be pissed if people were questioning my intelligence like that especially after a couple of drinks in haha. Though I do like taunting people when I play group games, I'll be like "don't need to try that hard guys, you're gonna lose anyway" just to mess with them or just call people sore losers if they accuse me of cheating haha (they're probably right on the accusations tho). People get real mad sometimes it's kinda funny. 😂

Omg literally laughed out loud reading this! Hahaha, how did you manage to fall over a road sign then end up in a ditch? lol omg hope you didn't get hurt too bad 😂 I was trying to downplay my drunken escapades but since you shared yours I should tell you my worst one:

I was at this summer street party at night and got drunk on something made out of tropical herbs and cachaça (which is about 48% alcohol), drank 3 and a half bottles of that like it was apple juice, made friends with a bunch of strangers in a bathroom queue (who tried to talk to me weeks later but I had no idea who they were), had to be held by my best friend while I peed (mostly missing the toilet), fell in the middle of the street and scraped my knee, threatened this boy who was helping me walk and told him not to try anything funny or I would beat him up, then dragged my friends to the beach and left them shortly after to go make out with my ex, came back with lipstick all over my mouth and chin and when my friends asked what I was doing I said I was just talking to my ex and they were like NO YOU WERE NOT, hahaha then I kissed all my girl friends on a dare and we danced under the full moon, then I told my best friend I had to puke so she took me to the ocean but I changed my mind and happened to step on a dead turtle on the way back and started crying bc of it, but last month my best friend told me it was a rock I had stepped on (I believed it was a dead turtle for 7 years!). Had the worst hangover of my life the next day. ✌️✨

Ah I'm happy you liked it! I've never listened to Six musical before but it sounds fun! I can see why you like it haha made me want to dance around my apartment 💃. And hey if liking musicals is your thing then it's great, I'm sure Hozier will understand if he's not your top artist of the year. 😋 Here's my "damie" Pinterest board if you or anyone else wants to check it out, totally recommend making one if you're a visual person like me!

https://pin.it/UcHVlkq

Oh I could talk about Dani and Jamie forever I think. I love the beast in the jungle speech too and it's so painful to watch, VP delivered that beautifully, but I have to admit I'm always a crying mess from episode 1 when older Jamie starts reciting that song about being sad while waiting for her lover to return, this show is fucking cruel I hate it and love it at the same time hahaha. Omg your mom 😂 but I mean it's truly an honor to be compared to someone like Dani, no? She's really great even if she needs a little help haha (don't we all).

Aaah you're amazing! Thank you so much, I'll read this pirate AU soon!

I used to draw a lot, really loved doing it when I was a kid as I said before, and all throughout adulthood too but I haven't done that in almost a year now bc I've got a bit of a case of burnout I guess, it just takes a lot of effort to do it when it shouldn't be like that at all. I used to do fanart too, for other fandoms. Even made one for Dani x Jamie but ended up not liking how it turned out haha. I've got a lot of respect for writers and fanfic writers also! Yall can make words make sense in really interesting and beautiful ways, build worlds so enthralling I can see them vividly in my head. Writing is such an incredibly fascinating skill to have! And I guess the most important thing is that we enjoy doing these things right? Even if we think we're not particularly good at it.

Anyway, have a lovely weekend! 👋✨

Good I'm glad you're doing great but sorry you're dealing with stressful stuff!! Hope living in a new country goes well for you I'm so jealous that you've lived in different countries I'd love to live somewhere else even if just for s few years!! Awwh thank you so much I definitely came out of it alive and am feeling so much better now thank you I mean I do some pretty ditzy things so when people say it to me it's pretty deserved sometimes, I'm secretly smart and people just don't expect it so I never mind too much haha I might have to start saying the things that you do and just taunting them over it I mean, I usually do win even when they make me answer different questions so I will definitely have to start saying things like that to them Haha I love that you're just like "yeah they're probably right in their accusations" I agree seeing how mad some people get over games and stuff is funny (it's me I'm people I hate loosing games depending on what it is and I am very competitive) So it was very dark and all we had for light was my roommates flashlight on her phone but while we were walking home a friend of ours that lived else where kept texting her to make sure we were still safe (my phone as dead at this point) so while she was texting him her flashlight was facing down and someone had moved this road sign to the footpath and it was on that sits on the floor so while I couldn't see it I walked into it and fell over it but while I feel I grabbed hold of it and flipped with it and fell in a ditch with it on top of me... I was fine and was just laid laughing while my friend looked down at me and in the most northern accent ever just said "get up you dickhead." and helped me off of the floor and then asked if I was okay... and I was so it was all good!! Haha 😂 I love this drunken story that sounds like one hell of a night and is a roller coaster from start to finish!! I'm sorry you thought you had stood on a dead turtle for 7 years though, someone really should've told you that it was just a rock!! But that sounds like my kind of night!! I love nights like that... stories that will last a life time... the only down side is the hangover... luckily I have only ever had one hang over in my life and it wasn't the morning after the road sign fiasco... I felt surprisingly good the morning after that haha 😂 It's such a good musical it's about Henry VIII wives and I just love everything to do with his wives and that musical is so much fun and actually gives a little insight to the lives the six Tudor queens had away from Henry and with him because at school we're mainly just taught about him which sucks!! I loved the Hozier song and am definitely gonna have to listen to more of his stuff!! I love musicals so much I mainly listen to musical soundtracks at the minute- usually, Legally Blonde and Six on repeat haha 😂 Ooo thank you I will definitely check out this Pinterest board thanks for sending it to me!! I could talk about them forever too... since watching Bly Manor my niece has been asking me so many questions about it and I am more than happy to talk to her about it haha!! The beast in the jungle speech just breaks my heart every time I relate to it so much and VP just delivers it so beautifully!! Oh yeah now I know at the beginning that it's older Jamie I am just a wreck the whole show is just so beautiful and heart breaking at the same time I LOVE IT!! Even though it makes me sob- I keep putting myself through it!! I mean, yeah I was happy that she said it Dani is great but it was the way she said it... my mum can be something else sometimes... she said she thought Dani was like me the first time she does the accent when she says "I've fallen quite in love with London" because I just randomly do accents a lot too but it was the way she was like "She needs help... but I like her she reminds me of you" I was just like... "Should I go get help?" I still don't know the answer to my question about if I need help or not but I mean I probably do need it You're welcome I really hope you like it!! It's a

great fic I love it!! Yeah I get that if stuff starts taking too much effort and burns you out you're not gonna wanna keep doing it so it's understandable that you stopped!! I think fan art is great and I really would love to be able to do it myself but I just don't have the skill it takes!! Awwh it's a shame you didn't like the Dani x Jamie one you did I would've loved to have seen it!! Honestly there are so many talented writers out there and when I read their fics I am just in awe of the worlds they have built and the stories they have created we are so blessed in this fandom to have so many amazing writers and so many amazing fics out there Oh yeah definitely its important to enjoy what you do!! I know I love writing and love writing fics for Dani and Jamie so I think I'll be doing it for a while even if I'm not great at it haha Awwh thank you very much I hope you have a great weekend too!! ☺️

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 103

[Date: 25/03, 12:17 AM GMT - 25/03, 3:41 AM GMT]  

[CW for drug mention, descriptions of violence, torture mention, suffocation mention]

[Page appears in chat and begins a game of “Smile Charades” by telling the server to draw their attention to their Spotify playlist called “The Court?”, which consists of the following songs: “Break My Mind” by Dagames, “I’m the Bad Guy” by Caleb Hyles, “Echo” by Crusher-P, “Break the Rules” by Charlie XCX, “Discord” by The Living Tombstone, “The Fine Print” by The Stupendium, “I Can’t Decide” by Scissor Sisters, “Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing” by Set it Off, “Entropy” by Awkward Marina, “Happy Pills” by Weathers, “The Pitiful Children” by Eric William Morris, and “Monster” by KIRA. The server then proceeds to guess what Page could be trying to imply by this choice of songs. The following conversation ensures:]

jayyyyyyyy: “oh, happy pills is such a good song! kinda makes me sad in a way tho, ykno? its so upbeat but its basically about taking drugs so youre not truly yourself, ykno?”

Page 👑: “....

:)”

Jack the Observer 👁: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “huh, kinda makes me wonder if those plants are the result of drugs? or maybe theyre not, i might be looking at this the wrong way,”

Page 👑: “....”

jayyyyyyyy: “ah, either way its fine! just me wondering out loud, ykno? :]”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “wow, what a unique and interesting message! thank you for the playlist, page, its really eye opening and neat to listen to :]”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “wow, what a fun song about partying and breaking the rules! ,i sure hope, none of ,the court does that!, :]”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “ooo i cant decide is a good one, a classic, especially for those in uh. *looks at writing smudged on wrist* ...the my little pony fandom...”

Page 👑: “....”

jayyyyyyyy: “its so cool! love how the singer has conflicting feelings about their attachment to the one theyre torturing, how they ultimately have to decide whether they want to be good and spare their life, or if they want to continue with the torture”

Page 👑: “:)”

[After a few minutes, the server wonders why Page is being so quiet and only responding in “:)”]

jayyyyyyyy: “nono, its okay, its like a yes or no thing

quiet for no, a smile for yes

is that right, page?”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “pog! alright”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay, so still gotta find what youre picking up from this

are you not a big fan of concerts either?”

Page 👑: “....”

jayyyyyyyy: “oh, you like em?”

Page 👑: “:)

....”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay, you do like concerts! something else too tho”

[After a few minutes of conversation among the server members asking Page whether he liked concerts, or if being with the Court was like being in a concert, or if he wanted to continue the conversation in the direction of the topic of concerts, or if he wanted to talk about other topics, all of which were met with a resounding silence from Page-]

[jayyyyyyyy: “music?”]

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “music! alright

want to narrow the topic some more, page?”

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “so im assuming this is about your playlist?”

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “do you want us to focus on... lyrics?”

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “so like the tone?”

jayyyyyyyy: “well i think we already get the vibe, ykno”

donti (e) (child): “or the feel of all the songs together?”

Page 👑: “:)....”

donti (e) (child): “is there a common thread were supposed to be seeing?

Page 👑: “:)

[After some deliberation, it turned out that the common thread wasn’t about the laurels or drugs, but was about specific songs.]

jayyyyyyyy: “alright! so youre focusing on uhhh

break my mind

im the bad guy

echo

discord 50/50

wolf in sheeps clothing

entropy 50/50

happy pills 50/50

and monster”

Page 👑: “:)”

[jayyyyyyyy: “does "im the bad guy" apply to crown here?”]

Page 👑: “:)....”

jayyyyyyyy: “aight

is crown one of the common demoninators here?”

Page 👑: “:)....”

jayyyyyyyy: “aight

uhhh

im the bad guy is about.. fuck, i half remember half dont

if i remember correctly, the villain is explaining that whatever evils theyve faced before, shes much more powerful than them, and doesnt need their assistance because shes fine on her own

but

im guessing page is more focusing on. Uh”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “oh! okay

okay, i got it

hm.. echo is about.. well, its kinda hard to say

let me look at the lyrics again

actually, this song is a perfect way to sum up the courts situation

"the echo in the mirror"

like.. youre fighting yourself? youre trapped in yourself, fighting yourself to be free”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “pog! alright

so uhh

so far we have uhh

being stuck and fighting yourself is something im seeing rn

and the other one.. i think its better if i dont say it

am i right on the fighting yourself theme tho?”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “someone that's not crown??

"someone else"”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “OKAY

didnt expect that

so who

not crown

themselves?”

Page 👑: “:).....”

Ethza: “hm

eachother?”

donti (e) (child): “are,,, are the people who wear the crowns... pulling at the strings of their body??”

Page 👑: “....”

Ethza: “Hm”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay so

im assuming its crown and the court?”

Ethza: “but its not crown

its someone else”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “hmm”

Ethza: “that was my first guess

so

someone else”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay! okay

and probably obvious but youre being controlled by your court version?”

Ethza: “but something else is controlling you”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “is it your court self?

the laurels?

something else?

feel free to respond to those separately”

jayyyyyyyy: “what, pray tell, the fuck are the laurels”

Page 👑: “:)”

[Ethza: “the laurels?”]

Page 👑: “....”

[Ethza: “something else?”]

Page 👑: “....:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “alright

hmmmm okay so

court selves are controlling the og selves, and crown is manipulating the court”

Ethza: “the court selves....aren't what they seem?”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “i was really hoping that wouldn't be right”

jayyyyyyyy: “well i dont think the court selves are evil”

Ethza: “i don't know if we'd call them good”

jayyyyyyyy: “theyre being manipulated, ykno? and theyre.. kinda stuck in an unwinable situation

well yea but like

either they let their alternate selves be free and they literally suffocate, or they let themselves be free and their alternate selves suffocate

and a while, youd want fresh air, no matter how good of a person you are”

[Ethza: “i don't know if we'd call them good”]

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “alright so theyre not good

obv im still suspicious that a lot of it is bc of circumstances but still evil”

Ethza: “...hey page”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “are they something we know?”

Page 👑: “....:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “i really cant think of anything else tho

dreamons maybe?”

Page 👑: “:)

:)

:)

:)

:)

:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “uhhh

OH SHIT”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “OH FUCK

OH FUCK

OH FUCK ITS DREAMONS”

Page 👑: “:)

:)

:)

:)”

donti (e) (child): “is that a smile or a yes ??”

Page 👑: “:)

:)

:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “ITS A YES

OH MY GOD ITS DREAMONS OH FUCK”

donti (e) (child): “UH!!”

jayyyyyyyy: “OKAY

FUCK

okay

ok im. calming down”

Knight 👑: “Fetch likes this song :)” 

[DAYWALKER! by Machine Gun Kelly ft. Corpse] 

Knight 👑: “It should be obvious as to why :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “WAIT NO BUT I HAVE OTHER QUESTIONS

okay page!!

is that "thing" thats more powerful than crown the dreamons?”

Knight 👑: “Page is not in service at this time. Please check the number or try your call again. :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “oh fuck off

GOD

you mother FUCKERS

donti (e) (child): “AH IS PAGE OK”

Knight 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “uhhhhhh buddy you ok”

Knight (he/they): “I see somebody talking with a mouth thats full of teeth i want to break :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “thats dumb as FUCK”

donti (e) (child): “well thats probably me time to scram :D”

jayyyyyyyy: “page did not say a single thing this entire time”

Knight 👑: “Then i'm not talking about him. :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “..neither did max”

Knight 👑: “I'm on borrowed time can't shake it :) blackout when i'm ragin'. :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “yea

again with that fuckin corpse song

hold on

huh

okay so im assuming this is just. 100% knight rn

bc you definitely did something to page

and the song daywalker is ab letting someone in on a secret and blaming them when the secret gets out

actually this song. lines up with uh

that scene”

Knight 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “the. ykno, the murder

unless im wrong but

seems. violent”

Knight 👑: “I prayed to god and went to sleep with bloody hands :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “damn! okay

uhhh fuck

okay knight can you like. post all the lyrics youre focusing on rn?? tryna get across???”

Knight 👑: “Punch that motherfucker in the face 

you hated what he said, right? 

beat his ass, leave him at the stoplight

i know you wanted change, but nobody's around

so, kick him again while he's on the ground”

jayyyyyyyy: “thank you!”

Big G (they/them): “Uhh”

jayyyyyyyy: “....oh god i just said thank you im going SOFT

"i know you wanted change but nobodys around" is really catching my eye

"you hated what he said right" hmm”

Knight 👑: “If a pussy wanna say shit, then i'll fuckin' stomp his face in

nah, not getting better, can't change it, i left blood all on the pavement 

i'm on borrowed time, can't shake it, blackout when i'm ragin',

me and all these pills be on a fuckin' first name basis,”

jayyyyyyyy: “im kinda throwing a shot here, but is the "you hated what he said right" part about the dreamons hating what i said?”

Knight 👑: “I never said it was about page :) in fact, i told you i wasn't talking about him :)”

[shnuggletea]

Happy Hump Day!

Not the Hump day for my collection but still a few lemons. Sorry if you got excited, I'm try to post a new chapter to Hump Day soonish.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised by the popularity of this fic. I wasn't kidding when I said I'd never planned to post it. I really felt it was too dark and too...raw? I really didn't expect it to be as popular or more than Cell Mates. Which I also didn't expect to get as much attention so clearly I have no clue on the subject. Thank you all for your support on this fic. I've continued it for you guys alone! Also, my keyboard has officially crapped out, making typing particularly difficult. IDK if I'm going to get a new one it what, currently in limbo on the subject, which doesn't speak sell for my writing career. Anyway, I hope you will all be patient as I get updates out as best I can.

Home Part Two

The kids were both tucked into their beds but I struggled to leave them. Something that was clear to Inuyasha and he didn't push me. He didn't push me to the bedroom either, only gently took my hand and led me there when I was ready.

Everything was quiet and even though I was tired, I felt as if I couldn't sleep. I was too afraid I'd open my eyes and be back at Naraku's.

"You want to take a shower?"

Inuyasha was reading my mind. Or telling me what to think because a shower sounded amazing after he said it.

"Can I…. join you?"

He was being meek and I didn't know why. But he still waited for my okay before following behind me into the bathroom. Helping me strip, we soon stood in the warm water together. Tentatively, he ran his fingers down my arms and it all came crashing down. The day I was taken away, the four days spent wondering if I would ever see my children again, feeling betrayed by Inuyasha, and then being rescued just before me and my baby were murdered. All of it.

My sobs echoed off the walls of the shower and Inuyasha's arms crashed around me. The water felt cool compared to the tears streaming down my face and the ones dripping onto my shoulder.

"I didn't know...I didn't think she'd do that...I'm so sorry Kagome…" I turned in his arms and wiped my tears on his chest. "She signed the divorce papers without struggle but I guess that's because she had this planned the whole time."

"How long until you figured it out?"

He squeezed me tighter to him, "I knew right away that you didn't run. You'd never leave the children. And you had no reason to."

"How did you find me?"

"I threatened her. Told her if she didn't come clean I'd tell every paper and gossip rag about how I had a whole family without her. It's all about status and money with her and a divorce threatened both."

Our tears had slowed and my hands pressed into his back. "I didn't know what to think. We had talked about marriage and baby names the night before. But she had that bill…."

"I get it. It looked real." His fingers twisted into my hair and his nose to the top of my head. "Those four days...I had to wait for the fucking warrant and I nearly lost my mind. If it hadn't shown up today I was going to tear that place down by myself. Anything to get you back." A single remaining sob released at his words and he began to whisper. "Tell me what you want to feel, Kagome. Anything you want, I'll give it to you."

"I want...I want…" I wasn't really sure what I wanted anymore. I mostly just felt numb. "I want to feel safe. And loved."

He curled into me, pressing his face into my neck. "Do you feel safe here in this house? Should we move?" I shook my head because this was our home. "Do you feel safe with me?"

If he had asked me any of those four days when I thought I'd been sold, I would have said no. "You're the only person in this world I feel safe with, Inuyasha."

With the careful tenderness, I knew him to have, he tilted back my head and pressed a heavy kiss to my lips. But that was all, washing and drying one another before getting into our bed. Even still naked, none of it felt sexual. Just natural.

With my head on his shoulder like a pillow, I still found I was restless. "So… you're the District Attorney?"

"Guilty," he said and I could hear his grin.

"Then… how the hell do you afford this house?!"

"Family money."

I shifted on him, his arm wrapped around me never moving as I worked my way onto my belly and looked down at him. "I suppose the old me would have been satisfied with that answer…"

His fingers grazed my jaw, careful of my bruise. "Since you're asking… my family was in… illegal but lucrative businesses for decades. Still are."

When I laughed, he cocked one of his brows at me. "I thought you were in the mob."

"I guess you could say I was. But then… I saw what my father did to people and left. Most of this house is paid for by money I earned but my inheritance helped."

Placing my elbow next to his head, I leaned on it heavily. "If you're the DA, what were you doing at that auction?"

"Apparently getting very lucky." He mused, running a hand down my side. "I was just an ADA back then and I was helping with some undercover work. They needed my name to get into the auction, what with being a Tenoe. I used my brother's name to get in. The plan was to get some info on Naraku. But then I saw you…" He sighed heavily, looking up at the ceiling instead of me. "I was a fool. Buying you like that and then bringing you here. I never meant to sleep with you but god I was already in love with you. The last thing I expected was to see you there."

"Where else did you expect to see me?"

He hesitated, then chuckled. "I just didn't expect my night to end like that…"

"Like the two of us in your bed?"

"I didn't think in a million years I'd be that lucky but I no longer regret that night."

"So you expect me to believe that you loved me at first sight?" I asked, truly not believing him.

"Something like that."

"Why did your brother's name work to get you into the auction?" I asked even though I had a pretty good idea why.

"I got out of the family business. He didn't. That's why he's not around much. But someday I'm probably going to see his name on my docket. At least with our familiar ties, I won't be allowed onto the case against him."

"Doesn't seem like the two of you are close enough for that to bother you?"

He was drawing shapes on my hip and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't doing things to me. My libido had been silent for days and I thought it would never hum again. But the more Inuyasha touched me, loved me, the more it started to vibrate.

"Sess is still family. And Sess always supported my decision to go straight."

"Straight?!"

"Get a job that was legal."

"Oh." He was staring at me, reading my reactions to see how I would take his words. "What does your father think of you now? With your family extended?"

"He died long before I...found you."

I dropped to him, rubbing his shoulder with my I bruised cheek. "I thought you were ashamed of us all this time."

"Never."

Brushing my lips across his skin, I kissed his collar bone. Then his neck. Then his jaw. Soon I had my lips and legs wrapped around him. Straddling him, I was rubbing against his dick with folds. My libido was alive and raging.

I already had him inside me, rocking hard as I arched back and grabbed his knees behind me. "Kagome...we don't have to…"

"I want to."

He was groaning. Loudly. "I missed you...so fucking much…."

"I missed...you too."

Turning, I gave him my back and put us at a new angle. His groans turned to yells as I hopped on him. My body was tightened around him, close to coming when he sat up. Wrapping his arms around me he forced me to grind instead of hop.

"I want to see you…"

Watching me over my shoulder, I turned my head as much as possible to look back at him. We watched one another as we came. I whimpered his name into his face and he sucked my lips into his mouth.

I slowed but we remained attached. Our lips, his cock, we were one and unmoving save for our mouths as they melded together.

There was no one who would ever make me feel like this. Like I was safe. Loved. It didn't matter what he did, it would never change. I was hopelessly and irreversibly attached to Inuyasha.

Gently pulling free, I stared into his molten eyes. "I knew it. I knew you'd wreck me." He looked offended and I smiled. "You've wrecked me for any other man ever. I'll always only want you."

"Good."

oOo

Inuyasha must have known, probably doing it many times while I was...away. But when I woke the next morning after several more rounds of sex and Inuyasha forcing me to put on clothes, Sota was snuggled up to me. Moroha was snuggled up to Inuyasha.

At some point, while I was gone, Inuyasha had started to let the kids sleep in the bed with us.

It was probably the only way he could get them to sleep. And himself. I had been contemplating another round or two of fucking before the kids got up but that was shot to hell. But I couldn't find it in myself to be mad.

I disconnected myself from Sota and he curled into Moroha, Inuyasha wrapping an arm around him too. Taking a moment to drink in the image, Inuyasha and his children all wrapped up and asleep together, I left for the kitchen.

The cook didn't really do breakfast. A series of pastries, cereals, juices, and whatever else was in the fridge were what we had every morning. Making coffee was always my first step, watching it drip into the large carafe of the very fancy and Italian coffee machine was hypnotic. It took me a month to learn how to use it and even then I only made black coffee. It could make lattes if I knew how.

Only a few sips in when I nearly dropped my cup completely, Inuyasha appearing in the kitchen doorway looking flustered and freaked out. Once his eyes landed on me there was a clear loss of tension in his entire body. A body that he immediately wrapped around me.

"Waking up for four days without you has given me PTSD it seems."

I had to give him that. Closing my eyes last night had been hard, fearing I'd open them up back in Naraku's attic. "Does this mean you're going to be even more protective than before?"

"Do you want me to? Cause I'm seriously leaning towards it."

Pulling from his hold, I turned to face him in his arms. "I'm afraid to ask how that's possible. You were barely tolerable before."

The pained look on his face worried me. It didn't match our current conversation at all. "Kagome...there is something I need to tell you. More things that...you don't know involving my past. Your past. Our past."

"As long as it's not another wife, how bad can it be?"

I didn't like the shift of emotions in his eyes. Or how he gently led me to sit at the small table inside the kitchen's 'breakfast nook'. All my concerns were made worse when he didn't sit across from me. Instead, he crouched at my side as if to keep me from fleeing from his words.

"Kagome...the night your mother and brother died...I was there."

oOo

I didn't really get it but as always, I did as my father asked. It was the only reason I was hanging out with this strange kid who kept looking around as if he was just as uneasy about this pairing as I was.

"Okay, we went to the arcade. We're good now, right?"

Yep. I wasn't the only one completely bored with this evening. "Yeah, we're good."

"Cool. Look, I appreciate you being all friendly and all. I know my dad was happy to see us getting along, what with who your father is. But I'd rather not be forced into a friendship just cause my dad works for your dad."

I felt the same way. "Don't worry, Koga, no hard feelings there."

"I'm right, aren't I? The only reason Inuyasha Tenoe hangs out with anyone is because his daddy tells him to?"

He was irritatingly right but I refused to give him the satisfaction, picking up the pace back to his place. Koga caught on and sprinted ahead of me only to come to a halt less than a block away. I opened my mouth to ask his deal but figured it out quickly.

His house was on fire.

The two-story building was split into two homes and both were now engulfed. With Koga's father on the bottom floor, it would have been impossible for anyone to get out or in now that the bottom floor was mostly ash.

Koga gaped like a fish so I ran around him, getting as close as I could. The heat of the flames licked at my skin before I was hauled harshly back. "Hey, kid! Stay out of this!"

Glaring at my 'so-called' savior, I found a familiar face with the gravel voice. It wasn't hard to put things together. "You did this?"

Youns, a man who worked closely with my father and I had known most of my life, had damaged his throat from the smoke. Add in how he dropped me off here to take Koga away and his two buddies watching the place burn just behind, it wasn't an outlandish accusation.

"Your father ordered it."

"Why?!"

Youns glanced back at his men who were indifferent to my cries. Why would they? Secondborn son would never be in power and I was also just a 'kid'. But Youns has known me long enough to give a shit.

"Look...it's not my place to say but know that Koga is lucky he was spared from this."

Speaking of Koga, I found him on his knees near the flames. His face was flooded with tears, an odd sight knowing the way he was. Koga was far from spared.

Youns and his men were moving to the car to leave and waiting for me to come with. But I just couldn't make myself move from the horror show behind me. "What about the other apartment? People lived there! Did you kill them too?!"

"Calm down!" One of the other men shouted, looking around for ears listening. "They ain't home. Sick relative, they're out visiting!"

They all tensed just as hands grabbed me roughly. I turned back to find a raging Koga holding on to me tight. "You...you did this….you got me out...why? Why did you…"

Youns grabbed Koga off of me even as I protested. Koga deserves revenge. "Because your dad was the son of a bitch that helped kill the boss's woman!"

I couldn't breathe. Youns' words knocked all the air out of my lungs. My father told me, promised me, that he would get revenge for mom's murder. His was what he meant.

I hadn't said a word when he promised because...I wanted it. I wanted revenge for the bastard that killed my mother. And this was it. This was what it looked like. This was the real reason I was here. Father could have sent Sess, the older and more powerful son. But no, he wanted me to see this and be a part of it. He wanted me to help with his vengeance.

Youns was handling Koga and no one noticed me trying not to vomit. Or the little girl slowly approaching the fiery husk. I almost missed her, spiraling hard and fast. Until she started to run, dead set on leaping into the flames. I barely got my arms around her waist before she joined Koga's father and became ash.

"Let me go! I have to...I have to…"

I held on tighter, the girl fighting like mad. Her black curls tickled my nose while her little claws dug into my skin. "Are you crazy? You can't run into a burning building!"

"My...MY FAMILY!"

It was then I realized what she was trying to get to. "Calm down, they aren't home. They're visiting a relative."

She calmed at that and I thought I'd won, setting her back on her feet only for her knees to give out and her back in my arms. "No...no they're home...I went..Sota….Sota was sick…"

"What?" I asked even without wanting the answer.

"They were home! I went alone! My baby brother has...has a cold! I have to save them!"

She leapt, jumped, clawed, scraped for her freedom. But I wouldn't give it. If her family was inside...they were already dead.

"There's...there's nothing you can do. I'm sorry. You'll only die with them now." She was still fighting at my hold so I tried again. "Please. Don't let their deaths be in vain. They'd want you to live on."

I didn't need to know them to know that was true. And this girl was a fighter, trying to get away and to her death just to try and save her already dead family. It reminded me of my mother, every bit stubborn and courageous when it came to her family. When it came to me.

Every pull at my hold and scream of horror from the girl had my stomach lurching. I did this. I helped. Not only did I get Koga out of the way but I said nothing. I knew it was strange the whole time, getting forced to hang out with a lowly soldier's kid. And I knew my father would get vengeance. I had supported it, prayed for it, wanted karma to give me my satisfaction.

They say be careful what you wish for and now I never wanted to wish for anything ever again.

The girl finally collapsed from her grief and anguish. Turning her big blue eyes on me, I watched them swell with tears, puffy and red as they spilled out endlessly. "You're safe now."

A shuddering breath and she blinked away a few tears. "I don't know you."

"I'm Inuyasha. And I've got you now. Nothing bad will ever happen to you again." A promise I wanted to keep more than anything.

I held her still, pulling her into my arms and taking her back towards the car. Koga was in a similar state, Youns holding most of his weight from the ground.

"She lived upstairs. And her mother and brother were home when you guys set the place on fire!" I roared, somewhere deep inside of me on fire as well.

At least they looked remorseful, even if fleeting. "They should have stuck to their plans. Nothing we can do now."

One of the men offered but it gave little reprieve to me. The girl was a victim and I was the one who wronged her. A debt I wasn't sure I could ever repay. Koga eyed the girl in my arms for a second and then laughed with a dead look in his eyes. "That's Kagome. She's eight. Her brother was three I think. Father died years ago. So now, she's an orphan."

"She has family," Youns grumbled, "she was out visiting them. It's why she's alive!"

I stared at her small face, cheeks stained with tears. Her teal eyes stared up at nothing, flicking around while she thought things through. They were beautiful, the prettiest eyes I'd ever seen in my life. And unlike Koga's they were still full of life. This wouldn't break her, she was a fighter. Strong and willful, I could tell that already. It made my heart thump in a strange pattern at the thought. Like hell I was going to leave her here like this, watching her life burn to nothing.

"Then we should take her to them."

oOo

It had been hard, as a fourteen-year-old, to keep up with anyone on my own. It mostly meant me sneaking off and watching her from a distance. Koga was easy to keep track of, getting deeper into the family now that he had no one. For some reason, he was allowed to live in the house. I didn't question it, in fact, I welcomed it.

But Kagome? Her grandfather lived in a small apartment on the other side of town from my home. It took an hour just to get there by bus. But I did it, went to see her at least once a week.

She seemed to be doing fine. Morose, as anyone would be. No more than I at the loss of my mother. Whenever kids gave her a hard time, she didn't back down. She was ferocious and I respected her all the more for it.

The grandfather looked more like he needed her care. Hardly capable of helping Kagome with much of anything. That was why she was always the one going to the store. I had no doubt she cooked too.

Even with all she'd lost, I watched as she went to the market, a spring in her step, humming a little tune. It was easy to get lost in Kagome, her bright and shiny happy face only made her glow all the more.

It was why I noticed right away when that faded.

It had been maybe a year since she moved in with her grandfather when she stopped smiling. I worried it was the grandfather abusing her. But after a few nights spent hanging outside their door or on their fire escape, I saw no signs of anything more than a loving man caring for his kin as best he could. So what had changed?

He was coughing a lot today. So much I was ready to call an ambulance when one showed up for him. Kagome was still nowhere in sight and her school had been out for a while now.

Men helped the grandfather into the back of the ambulance, speaking of taking him away for more care while he cried out for Kagome. But she didn't come. Then or the next day. Or the next.

I searched. For months I searched for her as best I could. But barely sixteen, it was hard. Especially without any help from my father. I didn't want him knowing about my little...obsession. The last thing I wanted was for him to have any kind of leverage on me.

Months turned into years but I still didn't give up. It was going to get me into trouble but the longer Kagome's location was unknown to me the more the anxiety grew in my chest. I was barely sleeping at this point, using all my spare time to comb the streets, asking around about a girl with teal eyes. But no one could help me.

College was a good distraction, the ache of losing my bright-eyed beauty never fading from my heart or mind.

At least I had a future I could look forward to. Father wasn't pleased, informing him I had no intention of joining his side. It was made worse when I told him I wanted to go into law. But I didn't care, ever since he killed those people, Koga and Kagome's family, I wanted nothing to do with him. Well, that's not true. I wanted to be the one to lock him up and throw away the key. I needed a degree to do that so I pushed forward.

A criminal law degree gets you a lot of privileges. One of which was the help of the databases of people and faces. As well as facial recognition technology at your fingertips. I'd be lying if all that wasn't also a large motivator in my quest for success. Becoming a prosecutor was really just a means to an end.

I had to assume my father calling me to his house had to be due to me locking up some of his colleagues. Aggravated assault wasn't the worst thing they were guilty of but it was the best I could do. And I was happy with what I'd gotten. That is until I saw the smirk on my father's face, entering his office where I was led.

"Inuyasha. Good to see you."

"Wish I could say the same. What is this about?"

My eyes flicked to movement, Sesshomaru stood to the side. This wasn't going to be good, both 'bosses' here in one place?

"It's about you! And your future within this family."

I huffed, "I have no future with this family."

"I beg to differ. I need your help with something. A business merger."

"I'm not that kind of lawyer, father."

He laughed and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. "No. But you're a man of good standing and respectability. Your job and family title makes you quite an asset to me."

"What the hell does that mean?"

I was angry. Pissed because once again my father wanted to use me it seemed. And I was right but I'd never expected something like this.

"You're going to marry Kikyo Takahashi. A fortuitous and great match if I do say myself."

Seething, I struggled to speak. So I did so through gritted teeth. "The hell I am. Who the fuck is she and why the fuck would I marry her?"

"For your inheritance?" When that didn't phase me, my father tried again. "Alright. Then...for Kagome."

"What?!" Now I could barely breathe.

"I know about your hobby and I know you've been looking for her. She's in a girls' home on the south side of town. Lovely little place. She is safe and happy and...blooming. And if you want her to stay that way, you'll do as I say!"

I'd been a fool, thinking for even a second that my secret was safe. Of course, father knew. And he had far more resources than I had all these years. He probably knew where Kagome was the entire time I wasted searching. None of it mattered now, because he had her and therefore he had me. I had no choice at all.

"Fine. But you don't touch Kagome ever."

oOo

The place was disgustingly garish. I'd never held any interest in places like these but it wasn't my decision. All I was there for was to sign the checks.

"What do you think?"

Taking my eyes away from the cluster that was the place in general, Koga waited expectantly for my response. "Does my opinion matter?"

"No. It doesn't."

"Then do as you please."

Koga huffed and crossed his arms in defiance. "I hate this. But I got no choice do I?"

"No. Not if you want this place you don't," I answered, shaking my head, "you'll never be able to afford it on your own…"

"The last thing I ever wanted was your help. Or to be under your thumb ever, Asshole. So know I'm doing this cause I ain't got a choice."

"I know," he'd said it several times already, "but I owe you don't I?"

"Don't think this makes everything square. We'll never be even until I can take someone you love away from you like you did me!"

"You really want to do that? Sink that low?"

Koga grimaced as he thought it through. "Guess it would depend on who you love. If you ever love anyone but yourself."

I did love someone but like hell, I would ever tell him that. Not with him threatening them five seconds ago. It was a good thing Kagome was far away in her own little world from me. She would only ever be in danger with me. Just like my mother.

"Even your own wife left you. Do you give a shit about anything?"

Koga was still going on, trying to have some kind of fucked up conversation with the guy responsible for his father's death. The man now paying for him to open his own strip club so he was out of my family's damn business. A clean start from the people that messed up his life.

"I care about justice. Which is why you're here and why you're going to help me if I ever need it."

oOo

"I don't like it, Boss."

I didn't like how Koga was calling me Boss. Reminded me of my father but that was probably the point. Ever since the old man passed, Koga had been far more amiable towards me. But now he was getting antsy.

"He's just going to come in for a drink or two like usual. All you have to do is give me a heads up if he moves!"

"I still don't like it. He talked some of my girls into quitting last month!" Koga griped but that was important information.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"They gave notice and left. No big deal. Other than making me short staffed!"

I'd have to check into it later. For now, I had other places to be. "I'll look into it. Just watch him tonight!"

Few had questioned my ties to the Tenoe family but once I became ADA on my own merit, any and all rumors stopped. And now my name would help once again, meeting the only cop I'd ever trusted enough to clue him in on my idea as he waited a block away for me.

"Inuyasha." He smirked.

I glared back at him. "It's Sesshomaru tonight. Don't fuck this up, Miroku, or I'll have you demoted back to beat cop."

He held up his hands and looked genuinely afraid. "You got it. Boss."

I cringed again. The second time that night getting called that and neither time could I say a thing about it. Koga was being a dick using it and Miroku was just doing his job and playing the part. As was I, pulling my hair back off my neck and tying it up. Anyone who had met my brother would probably know I wasn't him so I had to hope none of his friends were here tonight.

A simple auction and yet I had to hold my vomit and disdain at bay each time a person was pulled or dragged up on the stage.

I recognized Naraku's men in an instant. They were easy to spot, knowing them all by name at this point in my investigation. They were buying humans, drugs, guns, plenty of things I could use against them in court. The only problem was I needed proof that they were buying these things for Naraku and not themselves.

The auction was almost over and it was now or never. All we had was mine and Miroku's account of the evening. No real proof at all. We would need to turn a few people over, use their illegal purchases to our advantage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a rare treat today. A martyr. A virginal martyr has offered herself up in order to save her beloved home. Is there someone here kind enough to save her?"

I wasn't the only one confused. There wasn't anything like that listed on the docket. That alone had everyone's interest, including my own. "No. No, no, fuck no what is she doing here?"

It had been years but I would never forget those eyes. They searched over the crowd even with the light blinding her. But they held the same fire and color that haunted me at night, every night.

"Let's start the bids at 5k!"

"Shit!"

Miroku eyed me carefully while I watched the bids being made all around me. They were going to sell her to the highest bidder? What the fuck was Kagome doing here selling herself as a sex slave?! She was supposed to be safe!

The announcer said she was saving her home. Not the girls home she'd been in for years now? That wasn't possible, it was under my family's protection...until my father died.

"Shit!"

"What is it, Boss?" Miroku asked, glaring back at a few who looked my way.

I trusted Miroku but not with this. "The auction is almost over. We need to turn someone before they disappear."

That had Miroku moving deeper into the crowd while I focused back on the auction of the one woman I'd ever thought about past a hindrance. The only woman I'd ever cared about was up on stage while people called out amounts to buy her and her virginity?

Something took over me and the next thing I knew I was transferring money over to some guy named Hero in the back of the club.

I had bought Kagome.

I was far from done here so all I could do was send a car to take her home. And call Koga to meet her. He was the only person who knew Kagome at all and I doubted he would recognize or remember her. Since he worked for me and I needed to get a report on Naraku from him anyway, it would be two birds.

Now I was pacing. The auction hadn't worked out at all as I hoped. I wanted info on Naraku, not buy a person like meat. But it was Kagome and if I hadn't been there she would be in someone else's hold right now. That thought alone was enough to make me seethe so I quickly changed my thoughts to ones more pressing. Like how any second now Kagome was going to walk back into my life.

What would she think of me? A man that helped murder her family bought her at a black market and brought her to the ridiculous house his ex-wife made him buy?

Probably shouldn't tell her about Kikyo. That was too much for one night.

Any other thoughts on the subject were whisked away, the door to my room opening so I shot to one of my chairs to hide. I was such a fucking loser but I couldn't help it. This was Kagome we were talking about! She was the only woman I'd ever thought about. Even my sham of a marriage, the only times sex had been successful, I imagined I was with her instead of Kikyo.

I shouldn't tell her that either. It was even more fucked up.

I'd never been able to explain how her eyes had enraptured me. How her silly sweet ways had possessed me. How I had an animalistic urge to protect her even without either of us knowing one another well at all. And that was all I wanted, to protect her.

"Strip."

My blood was boiling. What the fuck was Koga thinking? Did he recognize her? Was he fucking with me?

"I said, strip! I want to see the product!"

"That's enough, Koga." I roared.

"I just wanted to make sure she wasn't armed, Boss."

I couldn't look. This night was shit and Koga was only making it worse. I was ready to pop and kill him. "Get out." The silence left me worried that Kagome had left too but I still couldn't make myself look. "Come here."

It felt like an eternity and a heartbeat all at once, the time it took for Kagome to stand before me. The fire lit her from behind, showing me the full figure she now had as a woman. I'd been so frantic at the auction, all I'd really taken in was her eyes. Now before me in all her glory, I was blown away by the woman she'd become.

She was gorgeous.

My dreams were no comparison as all I really had to go on was black curls, blue pools for eyes, and an energy that made my heart thump hard in my chest. All of that was there and more as my heart pumped blood hard to other parts of me. It was suddenly far too warm in this room. And Kagome was shivering.

A flush covered her lovely cheeks when I looked up, visible even in the shadow of the light. And as I found her eyes, I saw the darkening in them but not what I expected to see.

There was no recognition in her eyes at the sight of me.

Kagome didn't remember me. But that was fine. Better even. I could work up the nerve to tell her who I was at some point. Until then, I'd just play the part. Because as long as she was safe I would be happy. She could finally be in my sights always so I never had to worry about her again. That would be enough.

Or I had to hope it would be, my body threatening to sweat the longer she looked at me with those doe eyes of hers. Releasing a puff of air didn't help much either with getting into character. "What the hell am I supposed to do with someone like you now?"

"I can work."

She was still scared. I could hardly blame her. All that she had been through this night alone? It only made me want to protect her more. But I couldn't have her working in the office with me. It would bring up questions. And the answers would get her hurt.

"The only place I can put you is the club and can't have a virgin working there." A virgin that looked like her would have the men pissing themselves to touch and taint her. That had me stressed and agitated too but I could make Koga keep a close watch on her at the club. "You can't even dance, can you? What can you do?"

I really, truly hoped she didn't know how to dance. I seriously doubted that she could but I wanted to make sure before I put her to work with Koga. Last thing I wanted was her up on any stage ever again.

Out of nowhere, she dropped to her knees before me. It was far too easy for her to reach for my belt too. Before she could do more and make it hard for me to stop her, I grabbed her hands and stopped her myself. "You're a virgin aren't you? Don't drop to your knees so fucking easily!"

Tossing her hands out of my hold kept me from touching her any more than that. Because I was desperate to pull her up into my lap.

I was struggling. I didn't give a shit if she was really a virgin or not but there was something taking over my mind and making me say things I really shouldn't. "Take off your clothes." She had hesitated when Koga told her to strip but when I said it, she moved too quickly. "Slowly!"

This was bad. A terrible, terrible idea. But since she stood before me, the fire at her back, and I saw her grown-up body all I wanted was to see all of it.

And now I did, Kagome stood naked before me and my body was crowing to touch, taste, and feel her. This was a really bad idea especially since I was supposed to be playing a part here. "What's your name?"

"Kagome."

"Kagome?" I played dumb.

"Kagome Higurashi."

I knew that. I'd always known it. And I dreamed about this moment many times over. Which was why I rationalized, I had her sit in my lap and put my fingers inside her.

I didn't know a damn thing about hymens. Or what a virgin did or didn't feel like. But I was pretty sure they felt like this, her tight around just one of my fingers. I watched her eyes darken again before adding another. I had lost my mind, holding Kagome on my lap, the lap of a stranger, and fingering her.

Her head went back and my mouth was on her neck without question. Tasting her skin, it was like finally getting a drink of water after being stranded in the desert. Sweet and satisfying.

And yet I couldn't stop.

Taking us both to my bed, my mind screamed at me to stop. But it was the back of my mind, buried deep now under need and want. I needed Kagome because I had wanted her for so long. I wanted her in my life, wanted her safe and happy. And a really fucked up part of my mind was whispering "you can make her happy".

Using my shirt, I tied her wrists down. Because if she touched me I didn't know what would happen. I was already out of my mind looking at her naked body on my bed. I somehow managed to keep up the lie, making up some bullshit about her scratching me. With it out there, God did I want her to scratch me. Which would be hard to explain if she did it somewhere work would see.

I didn't want anyone knowing about her. Because Naraku had eyes and ears everywhere in this town. So not even work would know about her, not until I was sure it would be safe. How many people saw me buy her today? And how many of them would share that with Naraku?

No one could know not even Kagome.

Licking her nipples distracted me effectively. Because I was getting her into so much danger being with me. There was no hope because I couldn't stop. Not when I was a teen, obsessed with my regrets and not now, a man desperate to connect himself to the only woman I'd ever felt anything for.

It was crazy because I loved Kagome and she didn't even know my name.

"Inuyasha." She looked confused, still not remembering me and I ignored the hurt in my chest, making up another lie. "That's my name. So you can yell it when you come."

She was angry but too turned on to really care. I could see it in her eyes and feel it in her body. She wanted me too. And that only fueled me more, making me cocky.

She squeezed me tight when I pushed inside. Halfway in and I was so close to coming, I had to stop. I made sure to say something dickish. That got the flames in her eyes again and also calmed mine. Enough to thrust the rest of the way inside her.

And shit, it felt good. I wasn't new to sex. I wasn't an expert by any means. Maybe that's why, my lack of good sexual experience, that Kagome felt fucking amazing. My hips agreed, moving on their own. But I had to stop them before I came too soon.

Focusing on us made my whole body purr. I was inside of Kagome, we were one, our bodies were together in the most intimate way possible. Damn, even thinking about it was going to make me come.

So I pressed on her womb, right above where I was inside her. "Kagome." Say something dickish, say something dickish, say something dickish, "I'm right here, right now.."

I didn't mean it was an insult but she knees me anyway, causing me to chuckle. Which made me tremble inside her and I couldn't stop myself from thrusting again and again and again.

"Say my name, Kagome… when you come… I want you to… fucking scream it."

I wanted her to so bad. Wanted to pretend she remembered me, thought of me as I had her. As fucked up as that was, I wanted to be her world.

"Inu...yash...ah...AH!"

She tightened around me, coming, and I came right with her, groaning as my entire body tensed with pleasure it had never known before. Not on this level. That would be the only problem with Kagome being a virgin. She would never know if I was the best she'd ever had because like hell I was letting her go again.

I wanted her. Wanted her more. But all I had done was fuck everything up. She didn't remember me at all, I was just the guy that bought her freedom and here I was, fucking her.

What the hell was wrong with me?

It was a strange mix of satisfaction and regret that billowed inside me now. And neither kept me from wanting to fuck her again already.

I had to get her out of my bed. Needed her not to be naked and looking so damn sexually satisfied.

More than anything I needed to stop thinking about how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her because that was not up for discussion right now.

She was about to pass out so I carried her. If she stayed in my bed all night I didn't know what I would do or say to her. But none of it would be fair, not with what she'd been through tonight.

I took her to a room close to mine that had only recently been vacated by one of my former maids. It was luck actually, the maid had left to get married and left a boatload of her clothes behind. Something about shipping them to her later but now I would just pay her for them since it looked like Kagome was going to be wearing some of it. She came with nothing more than the clothes on her back. Clothes that were currently on my floor and she was ever so kind as to remind me of that. The venom in her tone was justified, I had nothing to stand on against her or it. I deserved her anger.

Because like it or not she was now in my life again and this time I was sure I couldn't let go.

oOo

Inuyasha had switched from crouching to kneeling on one knee by the time he finished his story. My mind was everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

"I'm...I'm not sure what to say…" he shifted, uneasy, "I don't remember you at all from that night. I don't remember any of it, other than seeing my home on fire and someone talking to me on the way to my grandfather's…" it hit me like a ton of bricks, "that was you?"

He nodded and things made sense. Why his voice had such an effect on me from when we first met? Or rather the second time, even though I'd forgotten h I'd always thought I'd made up the person who spoke to me that night because they could only have been a cop or an angel in my mind. It had been so soft and yet firm, reassuring even though I couldn't remember a single word that was said to me.

"You were in shock the whole way to your grandfather's. So I just promised your safety and revenge." Inuyasha whispered, his tone matching my memory to a T.

"Revenge? How am I supposed to get that?"

Inuyasha has his arms around me, one on the table before me and the other on the back of my chair as if to cage me. "Right now. I told you what happened and now you can get your revenge. I love you, Kagome. Always have. So if you were to walk out the door it would break me like nothing ever has or will again."

"What?!"

"You're a free woman. You can do as you please. You don't have to be with me, you don't have to be with anyone. It's your choice and as much as I hope you'll choose me, I can't expect that. And I won't force you either."

He was asking me to choose? Nothing was making any sense. I'd just gotten home and now he was asking me if I wanted to leave it? But he had lied to me and not just about his relationship status. He had lied about a lot of things including his reasons for bringing me here in the first place.

"Is all of this penance? Did you bring me here to make up for what you did to my family?"

He was silent, staring right into my eyes as if to search for my answer while giving me his. "Sort of. I didn't want you on that stage. It wasn't where you belonged."

"Where do I belong then?"

He shook his head, "I can't answer that."

I couldn't think of a time in my life in which I had so much freedom. Never had I ever had the power of choice before. And I had no clue what to do with it. "I need...some time."

Inuyasha didn't stop me as I rose and went around him, leaving him behind on his knees in the kitchen.

One chapter left!

[crystal-soba]

hihi i hope you’re having a wonderful day filled with sunshine n rainbows !! 🌷✨ could you pls write dbd ghostface/danny johnson with daughter ! reader ? perhaps where he’s the killer in the reader’s trial ? ooo or maybe where she finds out what he does n she gets scared ? 🥺💛

Heck yeah

.Danny found you in an alleyway, no stereotypical basket and blanket. Just a crying baby on the cold hard ground, cold and sick. You must have been abandoned there was no way a decent human being could allow you to rot in a cold alleyway. Screw work today, he felt a pull. Some sort of connection to you, he didn't know why. He wasn't one for children or kids in general.

.When he picked you up your crying didn't stop but it did quite down. How long have you been here? You felt cold, too cold. He took off his jacket and wrapped you in it. You must be hungry and afraid. He started to run to his house, he would have to call his boss later.

.When he opens the door to the house you were still whining, he walked to the kitchen and stared at the fridge trying to find something for you to eat. He sighed and opened his flip phone and called his boss, his boss had a son so he probably had an idea of what to do.

.He was getting ready to go to the store, a big list of supplies needed to give a three month old baby a decent life and you still being carried by him. He realized just how much he was unprepared, no clothes, you were covered in dirt and horrible smells and still starving. He sighed as he poured you a small bath in the sink. He scrubbed all of the mess off of you, he made a make shift swaddle for you made of one of his old shirts.

.As he walked through the Walmart he noticed all the strange looks people were giving you. He was doing his best, he didn't really know where these maternal instincts came from but they felt like something in his life was going to change for the better. He would eventually sort out all of the papers and certificates later but for now he was focused of making you a bit more comfortable. He wouldn't say it but looking for cute clothes for you was fun. He didn't care what other parents said or looked at you, he was going to make your life amazing no matter what.

.Six years have passed from then. He had gotten a different job, working as a journalist. You were his sunshine, his everything. The first victim of his was your real parents. He wanted to show them their mistakes and wrongs, he mad sure their deaths were painful and slow. After that he found it made great headlines for stories. Killing had become a side job.

.You were his main attention at all times, he would make sure you never found out about his job. The things he did were never going to be found out by anyone, especially you. You moved to different states constantly, never being able to have friends. You didn't have any other family, no grandparents, or uncles or aunt's, just you and daddy.

.your new house was smaller than the last one, you had a small room you were driving you and dad while watching a movie. He sat with you for a bit before going to his office. His office was where he wrote newspapers and did his job. You weren't allowed in the room, you didn't know why but you didn't want to fight with your dad.

.Danny sat in his office gearing up to start the next job, he grabbed his camera, knives, and suit throwing them in a duffle bag. He walked to you "y/n sweetie, daddy has to go to work. There's MacDonald's on the table and remember. Bed is at 7:00. I'll be back in a few hours." He grabbed his keys and left after you nodded.

.As he was stalking a couple holding hands he took mental notes. It had been a few hours of walking around their house until now. He was stalking them back to their house. Then he would kill them, just a simple quick few stabs then run.

.After he killed them he took a photo. Before he was going to leave he felt a cold chill as black mist flowed from the doors of the house. When he looked up he heard running and saw blood covering the forset floors.

.It was a week. A week without your dad, he said he'd be back later. When was later? You started to pack a bag full of snacks. You knew he was either lost or missing. You could find him, you looked at the map and tried to follow the streets, it felt like a maze of building and houses. You looked back and forth between the map and the forest. Maybe he went in to write about some animals?

.As you walked deeper and deeper into the woods you ft colder and colder. A dark fog made it hard to see where you were. "Now why is their a child in my domain?" The voice was dark and creepy. You couldn't see anything Infront of you. "I'm...I'm looking for my dad." You were scared "Ahhh. And who is your father?" You scratched your head "His name is Danny and he has black hair with blue eyes." The person chuckled "My child are you sure you want to see him? Where he is a dark place, no one is allowed to leave." You clutched your bag and nodded. "Very well."

.You woke up in a forest your head hurt a little before standing up. "Daddy!?" You called out as loud as you could. You started walking around the forest. You bumped into someone, you looked up "Daddy?" The old man standing there was surprised when he saw a child. "Can you help me find my daddy?" Bill didn't know what to do, this was no place for a child "What does he look like him?" You pulled out the drawing "He's my dad. He has short black hair, blue eyes, uhhhhh he likes to write stories." Bills sat down, maybe Dwight? "Does he have glasses?" You shook your head.

.Bill walked with you while holding your hand, he doesn't know what to do. He can't leave you alone with that maniac running around.

.That maniac he was talking about was walking towards him, he told you to hide behind the tree. The man had a black robe and a dropping ghost face. You watched Bill, The man also had a sharp bloody knife trying to stab your new friend.

.Bill tried to fight him off. Successfully ripping of his mask, Bill stoped. It was exactly how you described your father. He was shocked.

.It was daddy! Be was here. You got up to see him walking out of your hiding spot. Just before you ran to him Bill was stabbed in the chest. You watched as Bill's blood hushed out of his chest, daddy sat up and wiped the blood off of the knife.

"Y/n?" Your eyes were giant as you breath had quickened. "Y/n what are you doing here?" You were scared no horrified. You watched your father kill Bill. Tears filled your eyes and slipped down. "Y/n it's.... Init what it looks...looks like." You started to run away still crying.

.Danny watched you run away from him. He fucked up to whole new level. How would he convince you he was still alright. He had to stop you before you hurt yourself. He ran after you, he can still hear the crying coming from you. He started to cry, you were scared of him. And it was his own fault.

.You tripped over a big rock tabling down. Danny caught up to you, he picked you up. Your face was dirty and scratched your nose bleeding. He hugged you tight not letting you go. "Y/n please. Daddy had to do it, don't be scared daddy won't hurt you." He was still crying. "Why....Why did you have to..." You cried stuttering. "Because if I don't, I don't get him I would be punished. And I won't get to see you again. Don't worry he'll come back. It's like tag." You wiped away tears. "Tag?" He nodded fast. "Yeah I have to get the other people so I don't get in trouble."

.It took a while for you to stop crying. "Why are you here." He shrugged "I don't know." He picked you up rocking you. You held onto him. "Is he...okay?" He had shakey breaths and nodded. "Can we go home?" He was unsure as of what to say "I...I don't know sweetheart. But it's okay, don't worry." You nodded holding onto him tight.

.You both walked through the woods calming down "promise me you won't hurt anyone." He nodded "promise." He would have to do it when you weren't around the trials. Wipe the blood off his suit and possibly have someone taking care of you while he was busy... Oh well everything would be okay as long as you were safe. He knew life wouldn't be the same here but he was fine with it. You would be fine without certain things like tv or movies.

.He let you sleep on him, not being able to run or chase after survivors with you in his arms was impossible. He'd have to let most of them go this time. He watched you breathe, you were so peaceful. He can't let anyone or anything hurt you. That was finnal. step up his game and work harder for you. he smiled while looking up at the moon, he looked at the drawing close to him.

.You were everything to him, his little ray of sunshine. He's going to do everything he can to make you happy. Even if he has to somethings he will regret. It's all for you, the one good thing he's ever done right by.

So how was this? I really hope you like it. Sorry if it took a while, my first request and I want to do more so hit me with em

[itwill-comeback]

More headcanons bb

☆ Someone [Tomas] implanted a huge phobia of hospitals and doctors in Vlad like "If you ever get taken to a hospital they're gonna figure out that you're not human and dissect you like a frog, you'd be a freak science experiment" and 1. Vlad only feels safe in hospitals with Nelly and 2. Thanks for making him feel like even more of a freak you punkass and 3. When he woke up post-staking and was just like "Otis is here?" His mind immediately is torn between Fuck That Where's Nelly? & Otis Wouldn't Let Doctors Dissect Me, Right? & What happened to Joss? Is he here? Am I safe right now?

☆ Nelly knows he gets antsy in hospitals even when she's with him, but doesn't know why. She tries to talk him into coming by while she's working and meeting her coworkers but he just digs his heels in, full stop "Nah, I'm-- I'm okay... thanks tho"

☆ Also once he got into his teens and all his doctor's visits involved the doctor offering to speak with him privately without Nelly in the room just makes him damn near have a panic attack every time and outright refusing to let people draw his blood because NopeNopeNope I'mNotHumanGoAway!

☆ Getting his wisdom teeth removed and demanding he get all four of those teeth back because he doesn't want anyone to have his DNA.

☆ Normal Elysians never have to deal with this issue because vampires actually love the medical field. They can easily convince humans around them to give them a raise or help then with an overnight shift or donate money to the hospital or be more understanding about wait times or agree to a better treatment or forgive medical debt because everyone who has to deal with anything within a stone's throw of the medical field, either as a patient or hospital staff, is just consistently overworked, underpaid or just outright frazzled and exhausted. This leaves their minds open to persuasion and vampires use that to their advantage a lot.

☆ Never understood why vampires in movies can't handle being around humans in hospitals because oh no they might bleed! Like dude come on I could smell the most delicious food on the planet and still the other smells of Hospital just kill any appetite I might have. I'm supposed to believe people with super senses wouldn't get nauseating headaches at the smell of all that disinfectant and bleach and latex and sweat and chemicals and medicine and death and holy hell those bright ass lights? There's nothing appetizing in a hospital for folks with regular senses. Vampires at best just adapt to the senses onslaught that is the inside of a hospital and bear it for the sake of helping people.

☆ Also fuck the idea that vampires inherently just don't give a fuck about people. We see a few instances of people not immediately noticing the difference between humans and vampires and I honestly think vampires would rather help every person that needs their help than be picky about who gets much needed medical attention.

☆ On top of that even if vampires don't necessarily want to help people because it's the right thing to do, they could just as well be in it for the money because they would make fucking phenomenal doctors with their super senses and their extreme precision and attention to detail. Also just imagine the bedside manner of someone who can literally read your mind. They know exactly what you're afraid of and exactly what you want to hear, and what you need to hear.

☆ Otis tells Vlad about cool stuff Elysia made like chess, cities, and Sony, but he doesn't even think to mention all the brilliant accomplishments of Elysian doctors and scientists because there are so many, you could write a book about all the stuff vampires figured out as time went on in the medical field alone.

☆ And all that stuff about "this hasn't changed in the medical field in the past 70/80/100 years" Yeah that's because lots of vampires don't appreciate change if it isn't absolutely necessary. There's a lot of "When I was just a premed fledgling we still used brass doorknobs that disinfected themselves and now everybody wants stainless steel everything ugh"

☆ Add to that that it's usually free for doctors to sit in on lectures and classes about new medical stuff so that their practice methods don't become dated and vampire doctors literally get to watch humanity get better at medicine.

☆ Elysians almost certainly knew about bacteria and infection since before the plague but couldn't explain it to humans without betraying their secret so they had to use the right methods with the wrong science behind it to get stuff done. Ex. Plague doctors wore masks, gloves, long coats and boots, and had canes to keep distance from people but since they couldn't explain the concept of airborne disease to humans they just went "uhhh, the air is dirty? The stench of death spreads the plague so I wear this mask with herbs in it which protects me from the miasma? Gloves and cane so I don't have to touch sick people? Touching is bad, people are dirty?" And humans just went with it. Historians be like "They were wrong, but their methods were right! How observant mankind was!"

☆ Tomas was hailed as a great help with hunting during the plague times but fuck him, if anyone's gonna know who's healthy and who isn't it's the vampire doctors and they no doubt showed active disdain for Tomas going around and killing the few healthy humans left in any given populace. Like if you just take those humans as drudges and make sure they stay healthy you can share them with other vampires and then some people survive the sickness! They have antibodies for the plague! Don't kill them!

☆ So no doubt vampires cover all of the medical field and can easily keep information about Elysian patients out of the hands of human staff and helped shape privacy in the medical field (things like not reading through people's medical records unless it's necessary, laws that keep your medical information protected) but also the definite pursuit of Elysians to figure out what their biology is and isn't capable of, figuring out why they can't catch sicknesses and why they're allergic to garlic and how drinking blood of all things sustains their bodies.

☆ Can you imagine how dope it would've been if Nelly had lived and married Otis and become a vampire and just had so much further knowledge about medicine given to her? At first it's difficult for her to get passed all the sensory overload of the hospital but once she does she's absolutely ten times happier at her job? Night shifts are a blessing and she's happy to take them to let her human coworkers get home to their families? I'm always big heart eyes for Nelly, but fledgling nurse Nelly?? Is so so good?? One downside is that Vlad is even more insistent that they both get out of bed before he leaves the house because trauma.

☆ All her coworkers think she's so perky because she got married and finally has someone at home to help her and she's now got an empty nest and literally they're all just like "ooo girl! Marriage looks so good on you! How's your boy? He doing good at Stokerton University? How's your new hubby?? When is he gonna come by so we can meet him??" And she also gains new friends through meeting all her vampire coworkers I'm 💖💖💖 love one newlywed nurse!

☆ Vlad meeting vampire medical staff who [despite being super intrigued by his biology] are very understanding to his anxieties about hospitals and try to help him overcome his fears. This sweet anxious halfling gets his blood drawn for the first time in his life at age 18 and is super relieved to see that all the stuff they do is noninvasive and really not that bad.

☆ All the DNA analysis stuff they tell him about is sorta lost on him because he doesn't speak doctor lmao, but Nelly is super intrigued and can explain it to him in regular people terms.

☆ Also Elysian psychologists help him recognize that his dad planted that fear in his mind so that he'd avoid hospitals and avoid most things so that he'd probably never meet any Elysians. And probably also to distance himself from his aunt who Tomas likely saw as an obstacle and just in general he wanted Vlad to be distrustful of everyone and avoidant of others, especially people who would try to help him.

☆ Vlad makes fledgling friends at college and admits he has a phobia of hospitals and one of his friends is like "Dude don't be afraid of hospitals, doctors are super nice! I'm gonna be a doctor soon, I wouldn't dissect you 🥰" and another one's all "I'm gonna become a nurse, like your aunt! Medical staff are legit just normal people with good hearts! You have nothing to be afraid of." And it just completely shakes Vlad's view of medical staff as mad scientists who want to cut him open.

☆ Not that Vlad didn't have enough trauma to get therapy for [the staking, the fire, the attempted soul snatching, being bitten by crazies, his friends and family almost being killed, Tomas fucking Tod, almost draining his girlfriend, his abandonment issues, ect.] I just genuinely think being afraid of hospitals is a natural thought process for someone who's the first half-vampire half-human in the world. Also Tomas would do some shit like that to Vlad, never plant any phobia of something that would help him like slayer phobia or garlic phobia, but something he would almost certainly need someday? Like medical treatment? Yeah, let's make him afraid of that, Tomas. That's a great idea.

☆ As a little not medical related thing, I think even though Vlad said he didn't care what Otis did with the house when he was renovating it, I think he definitely was a little bit inclined to have Otis use stuff that was flame resistant and almost certainly put like four fire extinguishers in different spots in the house and was real particular about getting good blinds and drapes for the windows. Also no way in hell does he let Otis get a gas stove.

[docholligay]

ultrace replied to your post “BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

While a lot of these are great responses (DICE), I would throw a party for family and the few friends I have who are not family. A buffet of food. A few hundred dollars of booze available. Rock Band on tap as well as a gaming table or just a place for people to sit and drink and watch "those fools" at the other happenings.

I admit this kind of surprised me as I figured you’d get a 3D computer thing, but I like this answer a lot better!! I COULD HELP YOU PLAN A FUCKING BALLER PARTY. 

rhiorhino

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

Also I absolutely would get an Actual Haircut with a fucking rainbow dye job and some sweet tailored suits

I SUPPORT THIS. Suits are so great. 

rhiorhino

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

D I C E

YOU GOBLIN

keyofjetwolf

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

@docholligay​ I HAVEN'T PRICED A TRIP IN FOREVER SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S REASONABLE FOR THE PRICE. Maybe Vegas, fuck it.

Yeah Vegas would be totally doable! We could have a great few days in vegas for 2,000 and live pretty wild! I’d do an out and back trip where we just lose our minds for like, two days. 

MORE ANSWER BEHIND THE CUT

quantum-lesbian

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

probably getting myself a fancy tailored suit or on dnd dice & campaign books!

WOuld you get like, those fancy custom dice? I looked at those when I was thinking about doing Michiru because, you know, she would, but WOOF

its-decido

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

I forget what it’s called, but Amtrak does a pretty cool scenic trail along the west coast (and into Canada I believe). I’d pick out a few cities along to way to stay in and write that baby off as a “research trip” for writing or art research come tax season. One thing about being a creative working person is that the job can also be 100% fun XD

oooh I love the idea of a train trip! I love Amtrak, I’ve taken the Empire Builder more than once. Which cities would you stay in? 

kin-kaze

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

Go to Hawaii and do something involving sharks. Should be fine.

My wife has ALWAYS wanted to take me to Hawaii

moonlight1130

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

ooo, no or take a cooking class or two

oooh what would you learn how to cook? 

tymp3st

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

I have to admit, the idea of having two thousand dollars is kind of leaving me with static. Not being able to use it for practical things even more so. It would probably go to having some kind of massive shopping trip when con season rolls around again and/or renewing my dice of the month box. That doesn't even feel like it could account for half of it though.

WELL IT DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU BUY AT A CON., Or you could travel to a con! 

moonlight1130

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

or do something dumb like fly out to star wars land

ahahahahah that is dumb i love you

moonlight1130

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

I'd go to a super fancy restaurant and order everything I wanted and get dressed to the nine

YUSSSSSSSS FEMME DATE???

sittingoverheredreaming

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

My first instinct is to say I’d buy more tacky impractical clothes (I LOVE suit jackets that shimmer or are velvet or have bold designs, that sort of thing) and then use the rest on some excuse/occasion to wear them, but I can’t think of what that would be

Oh my god please yes buy tacky tacky jackets and then like, tickets to a ball in NYC or something!! 

shavedjudomonkey

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

I'd probably build a nice computer. That or use the money to fly out and visit friends I only know via Discord.

UNtil Nikki was building a computer I had no idea how easy it was to blow 2000 on a computer. 

tjwock

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

I now realize that probably sounds like I’m going to start growing weed, and while that is probably an excellent investment on silly and fun I really meant I could have a space where my cannas and dahlias could start growing properly before the long winters end

ahahahah IT WAS AMAZING THOUGH. I think greenhouses are amazing! I wish we had one, I’ve though about getting old windows and building one

tjwock

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

I’d get a green house. And fill it with all the green things.

cakeandpi

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

Silly and fun... I'd probably get most things from my games wishlist, then commission a bunch of art for both me and my friends

I love original art! 

pouncequick

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

The idea of having $2000 and not being able to use it for something practical is honestly breaking my brain. Probably a vacation of some sort--a national park or someplace where I could do a history deep dive. And a new cat tree.

Oooh can you think of which park you’d like to see? Jill and I are thinking of doing Denali next. 

madegeeky

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

And probably some more really geeky SM clothes and accessories because some cause of that shit is cute but so fucking expensive.

At that price you could just get shit MADE for you

madegeeky

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

If you mean only stuff and not trips, then I would buy that Queen Beryl dress because holy fuck that is extra I cannot justify it normally but with 2k it is mine. And then probably a lot of dresses, especially elegant gothic lolita clothing because that shit has the best prints but is expensive as motherfuck.

Have you looked on ebay for gothic lolita stuff? Idk EXACTLY what you’re looking for but I’ve seen a bunch on there at more reasonable prices. 

madegeeky

replied to your post

“BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

I would go to Orlando, FL and stay in this super cheesy hotel that Mr. Geeky stayed in once, that's done all in over-the-top 50s decor, has a bowling alley, an arcade, and a huge cafeteria instead of a little breakfast bar. Then probably Universal Studios because why the hell not but I have to admit the hotel is big draw. That or to California to see the Winchester mansion because, hell, have you met me? XD

WHAT HOTEL IS THIS I MUST KNOW

hemiscyra1983 replied to your post “BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

OH WAIT NO the money would definitely go to a new Disney Princess costume and wig who am I kidding

THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE CASS I KNOW

thoughtfulfuri replied to your post “BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

Probably commission some art. Maybe some display shelves! Certainly some more figuarts and stuff like that. A cute and ridiculous cat house! Probably just a bunch of fun stuff. I'd say *maybe*. a road trip but I don't know if that would meet the 'silly' criteria. XD

I think road trips can be silly! I fucking love a road trip. 

spyderqueen replied to your post “BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

Well the 3' tall Cherno Alpha model I saw in a comic book shop would definitely be among the purchases

AHAHAHAH that’s amazing

themiscyra1983 replied to your post “BUT A FUN QUESTION FOR TODAY”

I mean, probably a trip. I'd pay for a trip somewhere. Maybe to NYC, which I've never seen much of despite it only being a few hours away by bus.

YES! GO TO BROADWAY

[salmonthestoryteller]

The Crossroads

For @suzteel

A little Rosa-centric fic set after s1 with lots of Human Squad feels for you!  I hope you enjoy!

The Crossroads

Rosa can't help but start to feel trapped.  It’s not that she doesn't understand Liz's concern.  She gets that she can’t just go wandering around town where the wrong person might see her. Not until they figure something out.  Something that doesn’t involve Rosa Ortecho coming back to life. Because, let's face it, that's not normal.

Rosa isn't one for staying still, though. She's wandered what is apparently Max Evans's house and property so many times now she's certain she has the whole place memorized.  She'd actually managed to cut out a stencil from some spare cardboard she found. There was leftover paint from when the house was decorated - because, unsurprisingly Max Evans was the type to keep spare paint cans in case he ever needed to touch up the house's paint job. She's still not sure how her sister fell for such a boring guy, well boring aside from the whole alien-who-brings-people-back-to-life thing. Liz had not been amused when she had come to check on her and found her artwork addition to Max's exterior sidewall.

"Someone could find this and what would they think?"

"Well, I'd like to think they'd appreciate his taste in artwork."

"Rosa, I'm serious."

"Who is going to find it? Nobody is here. Liz, c'mon, just chill."

"Just, I'll get you sketch pads but please, don't redecorate his house more."

"Ooo. This would be a bad time to mention the bedroom, wouldn't it?"

"What did you do to the bedroom?" Liz's eyes widened.

Rosa laughed. "Psych. You're so easy. Your eyes practically bulged out of your head."

"Oh, you're a riot."

"I totally am." Rosa had nibbled on the Crashdown fries she had out on the counter while Liz unpacked the groceries she'd brought. "Have you figured out what to do yet? I can't live in Max Evans house forever."

"I know. Kyle and I are trying to figure something out."

"What about Dad?"

"Rosa, we can't tell him the truth. We can't tell anyone."

"Dad isn't just anyone."

"And what would I tell him? That Max was an alien? That he was some sort of healer and he brought you back to life? The dead don't rise from the grave, Rosa."

"It's Dad. He'll believe you. He always believed you."

"Do not start that with me."

"Why cuz it's a decade in the past for you? Cuz it's not for me. Dad never doubted your word like he did mine."

"Yes, he did, Rosa.  I had to tell him everywhere I went. And everyone I went with. And why I was five minutes late. Everything I did had to be perfect. To prove I wasn't turning into you."

The word stung.  Not as bad as the last day - the words then had cut even deeper. "It wasn't me you had to prove you weren't turning into.  It was Mom." She snapped back. "And it sure sounds like you failed at that while I was gone."

Liz closed the cabinet door with a bang. "That is not true!"

"Oh, yeah? I asked Kyle how often you visited home.  And you know what he said? Never."

"You died! You died and that changed everything! I couldn't stand to be in this town a moment longer."

"You abandoned everyone we cared about, everyone we loved, for ten years. That's on you, not on me!"

Liz had tears in her eyes, and Rosa knew she had the same.  Turning away, she nabbed up the keys from the counter and ran out the door. "Rosa! Rosa, wait!" Liz shouted after her, but she was already gone.

----

She ditched Liz's car ten minutes up the road, keys still in the engine.  She'd needed to get out - get away - and she couldn't have done that on foot if Liz was chasing her in a car. She needed to move, though, and sitting in a car wasn't the type of movement she needed.  She needed to run, to scream - she needed ten years of her life back.

The crossroads weren't far. One of her old hiding spots. Maybe if she could just see her things, touch them, she'd feel less disconnected with this new world. But there was a truck parked on the side of the road and who was sitting by the spot froze her.

Like Liz, Maria was older now. Her face no longer filled with innocence and naivete, but more defined - her eyes hardened as she glanced back sharply. If she'd been there to shield them, would they have kept more of that innocence? Could she have given them that? Or was this just the inevitable march of time and there was nothing she could have done?

Maria had one of her boxes, plucked from the ditch alongside the road where she’d kept it.  The box itself was open, and one of her sketches was in her hands. An old one, from simpler times.

Maria’s eyes widened, then her brow creased with confusion.  “R-Rosa?  How?”

“Don’t worry about how.”  Rosa told her, approaching slowly.  “Just accept that for now, I’m here.”

“That’s not possible.”  Maria shook her head.

“That’s what I keep hearing.”

“Am I dreaming?"

"I would hope you have, y'know, far better things to dream about." Rosa teased her.

"Nothing could beat this."

"Don't be stupid.  Look at you.  You got all hot and shit."

Maria let out a pained laugh. "That's what my mom told Liz."

"Mama DeLuca always knew what was what." To her horror the light hearted statement made tears fill her friend's eyes.

"Yeah, she did."

The emphasis on the last word was confusing and she reached out a hand.  Maria grabbed it, squeezing it. "Hey, don't cry."

"Sorry. This is just a really amazing dream." She managed an amazed smile through the tears.  "It's so real."

"Yeah. So, c'mon.  Come tell Rosa everything.". She led her to the back of the truck, and they settled into the flatbed as she started talking. When she fell did fall asleep later, Rosa took the small tin and repacked it carefully, glancing at the drawing one last time before doing so.

She drew up along the truck one more time to brush a hair from Maria's face.  "Sorry I wasn't here." She whispered, before turning her feet back the way she'd come.

-----

Alex Manes pulled up alongside her two miles from the house.  "You getting in or are you going to walk the whole way back?"

"Y'know, you should be careful about picking up strange girls.  Some of them turn out to be dead." When Alex rolled his eyes, she hopped in. "Do I get to call you Pegleg?"

"No."

"Long John Silver?"

"No."

"I know a guy with a false leg called Alex."

"What's the name of his other leg?" He didn't miss a beat.

"It's, like, tackey to steal someone's punchline."

"Uh-huh."

"Tough crowd."

Alex gave her a tight smile.  "Feel better?"

"Not really."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I want my life back." Rosa replied.

Alex nodded.  "I get that."

"Liz cut you off too?"

"We grew up, Rosa."

"No, like, the term you're looking for is fucked up.  Valenti, of all people, he grew up. The rest of you just fucked yourselves over."

"We did what we had to do." Alex responded.

"Or maybe you just did the easy thing."

“There wasn’t anything easy about any of it.”

Rosa scowled at him, but turned back to watch as they pulled up to Max Evans’s house.  “You’ve changed.”

“We all have.”

“The world just went out on without me.  I feel like an imposter in my own life. I keep thinking about what I would have done if I was here. What I could have done.”

“You can’t change the past, Rosa.”  Alex looked over at her.  “All you can do is keep moving forward.”

“Do yourself a favor and never write hallmark cards.”  Rosa told him, but her lips curled into a small smile, which he returned.  “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

Alex only nodded, but it was enough, and she forced herself to leave the safety of the car.  She wasn’t sure what to expect, but she didn’t have time to even say anything before Liz was hugging her.

“I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.  Hey, no worries.”  She reassured her.

“You died.  You died right after we argued and I never got to take it back.”  Liz clung on tighter.

“Liz, hey hey hey, don’t do this, okay?  I’m okay, you’re okay.”

“I can’t lose you again.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”  Rosa promised her.  “I’m sorry, too.”

Liz finally drew back, wiping the tears from the corner of her eyes.  “Kyle said if you wanted to, he could take you to one of the bigger cities. Someplace they wouldn’t recognize you. Maybe there you could-”

“Hey.”  Rosa interrupted her softly and waited for her to stop before repeating,  “I’m not going anywhere.  I’m here.”

“I used to lie awake at night and think of all the things I could have done different.  I could have said differently.”  Liz confessed.

“I guess this is our big chance to do things differently.  Let’s neither of us blow it, okay?  Well, I mean, we probably will.  But we can try not to.  What do you say?”  Rosa offered her a grin.  Liz hugged her again.

-----

“This is your ride, seriously?”  Rosa complained when she went out to meet Kyle.  They had planned a trip to Albuquerque for the day.

“I’m sorry, are you making fun of my car?”  Kyle crossed his arms.

“Aren’t you a doctor now?  Shouldn’t you have some expensive zippy little sports car?”

“In New Mexico?”

“Okay, point.”  Rosa conceded as she slid into the passenger’s seat.  “Please tell me there will be music for this ride.”

“My car, which you were making fun of, is bluetooth enabled, and I have Spotify.”  Kyle told her, placing his phone in the holder on his dash.

“Spot a what?”

“There will be music, okay?”

“Oh, you aren’t in charge of the music.”  Rosa grabbed his phone from the holder.

“That’s my phone, and you have no idea how to run that app.”

“I’m the one whose a teenager still, you’re the old fogey now, and I’m sure I can figure this out.”

“I’m not old.” Kyle told her, clearly insulted.

“You’re older than me now… but somehow not any taller.”

“Do you want to walk to Albuquerque?”

“Well considering you haven’t even pulled out of the driveway, I’m starting to think it would be faster.”

“Buckle up.”  Kyle told her.

Rosa grinned, and did as he said as they pulled onto the road.

[something-tofightfor]

Before the Beginning: The Constant

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader, Billy Russo x Madani (....)

Word Count: 3600 (is anyone really surprised?)

Rating: M (language, sexual situations) 

Author’s Note: Again, we jump back into Billy’s mind... which I have no rights to, and Reader’s mind... which is a little more open to interpretation. Interesting. I hope you enjoy. This is for @ooo-barff-ooo, who sent me a strongly worded ask a while ago. Hope she enjoys. 

@banditthewriter @breanime @obscurilicious @padfootagain @madamrogersstorytelling @ooo-barff-ooo @agent-bossypants @suchatinyinfinity @chibiyanai @songtoyou @drinix @dylanobrusso @likethetailofacomet @ilkaeliseb @editboutique @marauderskeeper @delicatelilyflower @king4thesirens @ymariejp @blah-blah-fuckit-shit @mr-robot-x @shinebrightlikeafanbase @littlemermaidprobz @ethereal-heavcns@zaffrenotes @jovialyouthmusic @introvertedlibrary @ladyblablabla @writing-for-a-chance @crayola-colored-skeletons @yesixoxo

Reader POV:

 As you sipped your iced coffee, you scrolled through the pictures on your phone, trying to find the will to delete them. You didn’t have pictures from dates or events like the other women that Billy had ‘dated’; all of the images you were thumbing through were much more intimate in nature, which somehow made things worse. There were pictures of the two of you tangled together on your couch, his lips on your neck, long hair hanging over his eyes and a satisfied smile on your face. There were pictures of you in bed - his dark hair standing out against your sheets, his body almost illuminated in the low light against his own dark ones. 

You bit your lip as you made it even further back, looking through candids of Billy in your kitchen, standing in front of your apartment’s largest window, pictures of the two of you just hanging out… like a normal couple would have, even though you were anything but. Sighing, you began to select multiple images, making quick work of it, because it had been long enough - too much time spent waiting and hoping. There had been similar photos on his phone of you, but you figured that he’d deleted them long ago in order to ensure that they wouldn’t fall into the wrong hands. “It’s time.”

---

You’d met Billy soon after his final deployment, and your first glimpse of him had been memorable.  Billy had been hunched over the bar with his long fingers wrapped around a beer bottle, picking at the edges of the label. He hung his head without drinking, and the first thing you’d noticed was the way that his hair drooped over his eye almost carelessly. I’d love to have those fingers wrapped around my throat. You approached him, sliding onto the empty bar stool next to him, and he hadn’t even looked up until you spoke directly to him, not bothering to disguise the interested tone of your voice. “Buy you a shot?” Though his eyes - and his entire face, if you were being honest - were gorgeous and you’d been stunned as he looked at you for the first time, you noticed that there was an emptiness behind them as he’d looked you over. You hadn’t known it then, but Billy was a master at hiding his emotions, and the few moments of despair coupled with the empty gaze would be all you got in the way of true emotion for months - until he had a nightmare in your bed and woke you by gasping for breath, his skin cold and clammy as his legs jerked. “You look like you need it.”

 The transformation of his face was seamless, and the cold, empty look was quickly replaced with a smooth smile and a glint in his eyes that was almost predatory as he eyed you. “Yeah.” He licked his lips, bringing the beer bottle to his mouth and taking a drink. “Yeah, OK. I’ll take a shot.” One shot turned into two, his hand brushing against your arm multiple times, your knee grazing his repeatedly, and you knew almost immediately that you’d be ending the night in bed with him, which you were perfectly fine with. “To absent friends and the shitty decisions people make when they’re cornered.” He lifted the whiskey and allowed you to clink your glass against his before he tipped it back and swallowed, your eyes focused on his throat and the way his jaw worked as the liquid went down. I definitely want him.

 By midnight, you were in Billy’s apartment, your arms pinned behind your back with one of his large hands, the other gripping your throat as he held you against the wall, his chest pressed to yours as he kissed you like you’d never see him again. And I probably won’t. His hips rocked against yours as he tugged on your lip with his teeth, and you caught a glimpse of them bared in a snarl as he lowered his head to your bare shoulder, latching on there with little hesitation. You knew his name, knew that he was a Marine Corps scout sniper - a lieutenant, he’d told you with absolute pride - knew that he’d just gotten back from his final deployment a few weeks prior - and you also knew that Billy needed to blow off some steam badly. His grip on your throat tightened and his hand slid upward, thumb roughly moving against your lips. Without thought, you parted them, flicking your tongue out against the pad of his finger before he bent it and you sucked it into your mouth, hearing and feeling the low groan in the back of his throat as he bit down harder on your skin.

 With a grunt, he released your hands and pulled his hand away from your face, leaning in again and kissing you hard. You immediately brought your hands up and threaded your fingers in his hair, yanking on it as he worked the button of your jeans undone and pushed them to the floor. “I don’t care where you fuckin’ touch me,” he grunted, pulling your hips flush against his. “I just want your goddamn hands on me tonight.” You nodded and kissed him again, feeling his fingers slip between the waistband of your underwear and the skin of your abdomen. Fucking hell. Billy shoved you back against the wall, pinning you in place with his body and even before anything had really happened, you knew that you were in for a treat that night with the man whose hands had made their way to the muscle of your ass - still beneath the fabric of your panties, fingers kneading and squeezing the skin almost painfully. The man’s built like a God, and I can guarantee that he fucks like one too. That had been your last coherent thought before Billy lifted you and your legs had wrapped around his waist automatically as he carried you to his bedroom.

 ---

 Going back through the pictures had reminded you of the night you’d met, the night you’d gone home with him for the first time - and you knew that it wasn’t good for you, even though Billy had been good for you. Your assumptions had been 100% correct, Billy was everything you’d thought him to be, plus so much more. You’d become friends - not easily, because he didn’t like letting people in, but steadily, and he trusted you. What was almost worse was just how much you trusted him, and how much his mere presence in your life had changed you. Billy had been a calming presence in your life, and even though you knew what he did, what he had done and what he still had to do, you didn’t care.

  “Enough. Just delete them.” Chewing on the straw, you made it to the first picture of him on your phone - Billy smiling at you over a beer from the second time you’d met him, two weeks after that first night, “So that I have a picture to look at when you call me at two am”, you’d said to him, one eyebrow raised as he ran his tongue over his lower lip, eyes dark. “Damn you, Russo.” Your finger hovered over the “Delete all 186 photos” button and you knew that it was the right thing to do - the smart thing to do. “Goddammit.” You hit cancel, locking the screen and putting your head in your hands. It had been a month since Billy had told you Rawlins was watching him more closely, that he needed to be careful with you. One month since he’d effectively ended your in person association - after one of the most thorough and memorable reminders of why you had worked so well together in the first place… and you knew that it was for the best, even if it didn’t feel that way when you looked at Billy’s face, smiling or smirking at you from your phone’s screen or from the commercials you’d seen on TV for Anvil. You enjoyed waking up in the morning and breathing, and so you’d understood when he told you that it was for the best. But that doesn’t mean that it’s easy.

 Finishing your coffee, you stood, getting ready to check the time on your phone when it lit up - Billy’s picture on the screen and your heart leaping into your throat as the sight of him. Goddamn him and his perfect face. “Hello?” You tried to keep your tone even, but knew that you sounded just a little too excited and heard him snicker before he even said a word, the sound familiar to your ear and making your heart ache. Casual my ass.

 “Hey.” He cleared his throat. “I need to stop by your place if that’s OK.” You paused. No. It’s not OK, it’s not, I can’t… “Somethin’ happened at work today, someone from Homeland showed up, and I need to talk to you about what happens next with us.” Us? I thought there was no us… not anymore.

 “Yeah, Billy. Of course.” You swallowed, throwing your cup into the trash can and beginning to walk back toward your place. “I’m on my way home now.” Whatever this is, it’s bad.

 Billy’s POV

 The bed was comfortable - sheets soft, pillows just firm enough for him, the mattress conforming to his body as he shifted onto his side. Billy sighed quietly, turning his face toward the pillow and drawing in a deep breath. It doesn’t smell right. He could smell his own cologne mixed with the scent of the fabric softener, but the most overpowering scent in his nostrils was Dinah Madani’s perfume. I shouldn’t be here. Billy’s eyes opened as he took in the face of the woman sleeping next to him; even deeply asleep with the aid of a sedative from her mother, Dinah’s face looked pained, a frown line present on her forehead. This is my fault. All my fault. I shouldn’t be here, I should be...

 It had been difficult for him to get away from the rooftop where he’d stabbed her partner - Stein - to death, rage in Billy’s eyes and blood splattering his face as his hidden knife disappeared into the man’s chest and throat repeatedly. Though he hadn’t liked the man based solely on the fact that he’d overheard Stein calling him pretty more than once, Billy hadn’t wanted to kill him… and yet he’d had to, barely allowing the man’s body to fall to the ground before taking off running in order to leave before Dinah had found her way to the rooftop, too. At least it wasn’t her. What Billy hadn’t been prepared for was the phone call from Dinah roughly an hour and a half later, asking him to come get her.

 Though he’d only known her for a week or so at that point and they’d slept together a couple of times, Billy hadn’t realized that Dinah had so few people that she could call, which made him feel… surprise.

He’d just finished showering, putting himself back together in a casual outfit, briefing Rawlins on what had happened when his personal phone had gone off, Dinah’s name on the screen. “H…hey, Billy? It’s… It’s Dinah. I need… can you… There was an… Sam’s dead.” She’d nearly broken down as she asked if he could come and get her to take her home, since she didn’t think she could drive, and the entire way there, Billy had gripped the wheel of his Wraith tightly, heart pounding. He wasn’t worried that she knew he’d been involved, because she wasn’t in the right state of mind to string him along or set him up, but Billy was still worried about what the phone call meant.

 Going along with Rawlins was one thing - killing American soldiers to keep a secret was another. Frank was another thing, Maria and the kids were something he couldn’t even being himself to think about most days, but this… this was it, and Billy knew that things were going to spiral out of control. Not only had Billy driven Dinah home after wrapping a clean blanket around her shoulders to keep the blood from staining the inside of his car, he’d helped her into the bathroom, shocked at the fact that not one of the other officers or agents had thought to wipe the blood from her skin or get her a clean outfit to wear. Those fuckers, they could have… Billy wasn’t sure what he thought of Madani on a personal level, but as a professional? He knew she would have been appalled at at the way her colleagues had let her leave the crime scene.

 Her mother had greeted them at the front door, eyes widening in shock as Billy had led her silent daughter into the apartment and to her bedroom, turning down the offer for Farah to help with the bath. “Dr. Madani, that’s not necessary. I’ve… I’ve helped people through similar situations before, I know what she needs.” The woman’s kind eyes had locked on Billy’s with a silent thank you behind them, and he nodded as he closed Dinah’s bedroom door behind the two of them, carefully stripping off her clothes without allowing his fingers to touch her bare skin any more than necessary.

 Even as the bathwater had run and he helped her into the tub, urging her to sit down in the steaming water, Billy’s mind had been running a mile a minute, thinking about what would happen next, what he could do to protect himself, to protect you. Dinah was nearly catatonic, barely able to bring her hands together to get the blood from them, and he focused on her face, on her eyes - the tremble of her lips. He talked quietly to her, his voice low and soothing as he bathed her, sponging the hot water onto her shoulders and arms, rubbing gently as the water turned pink. Billy had pulled the plug, letting the water begin to drain so that she wasn’t sitting in the bloody bath, turning the tap back on so that she would stay warm. It was easy, it was familiar, and it was not the first time he’d helped someone wash blood from their skin - hell, he’d done the same thing for himself, not even two hours prior.

 After she was clean, Dinah was slightly more responsive, helping him dress her in a pair of pajamas, telling him where her blow dryer was - but she was also very willing to take the pill Farah had left on the bedside table next to a cool glass of water. Billy had leaned over the edge of the bed, pulling the blankets up to Dinah’s chin, his hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. “You’re gonna be OK, Dinah. It doesn’t feel like it now, but you’re going to be.” She nodded once, her eyes squeezing closed and a few tears slipping out from beneath the lids as Billy stood, stretching his legs out. “Your mom is right in the other room -”

 “Can you stay with me, Billy?” Dinah’s eyes were wide open again, and as he looked down in surprise, Billy saw that she was scared. “Please? I don’t want to be alone.” She’s scared because of what I did, and she doesn’t even know it. He paused and then nodded, sitting back on the edge of the bed to untie his boots, pulling them off of his feet and lining them up in front of the nightstand. Billy stood, undoing the belt of his jeans and sliding them off too before easing himself underneath the blanket, leaving some space between himself and Dinah. “Thank you.” Her eyes had closed again and after only a few minutes, her breaths evened out and Billy knew that she was asleep.

 And there he was, an hour later, staring at the woman next to him in the early evening light filtering in through her curtains as she slept. I’m sorry, Dinah. You got caught up in this, and I’m just sorry that it had to be you. Billy shifted, reaching down toward the floor to pull his phone from his jeans pocket, unlocking it and clicking Instagram open. He quickly navigated to your page, looking at your newest posts and feeling his mood lighten slightly. He’d planned on breaking the no contact rule after the incident that afternoon, to tell you about what had happened, but Madani’s call had changed everything, meaning that he hadn’t gotten to you as he’d hoped. After a few minutes of browsing, he closed the app and tucked his phone back into the pocket, rolling onto his back and putting one arm beneath his head before turning to look at Madani again. He searched her face, and while he wished that he could erase the pain she was feeling, he felt… nothing otherwise.

 Not sadness, not pity, not fear. The woman had made her choices, had pursued him, and been willing to use her body to win him over - what she hadn’t know was that Billy was doing the same to her. Though Billy knew that Madani would likely figure things out at some point, he felt emptiness as he stared at her, and if he was being honest, it was closer to apathy than anything else, similar to the way he interacted with his mother… but without the anger and the hurt. It was routine for him, done because he needed to keep up appearances and nothing more. Madani truly was a means to an end for him, and even though Billy knew that his time under Rawlins’ thumb was likely (and hopefully) coming to an end, being near the Homeland agent for Rawlins was actually more helpful than Billy had ever thought it could be. Lying came second nature to Billy, as did using people for his own benefit, and the situation with Madani crossed both of those things off on the list while adding the benefits of keeping Rawlins placated - and keeping Billy physically stimulated. Not well, though. Not well enough.

 Billy’s eyes went back up to the ceiling, staring blankly at it, and he took a deep breath. It’s all wrong. All of it. I shouldn’t be here, not now, not... He let himself think of you again, of the way you smelled, the way your bed felt beneath his back, the way you fit into his arms. The way he felt for you was entirely different than the way he’d ever felt about anyone else before, and no amount of time spent in Madani’s arms or her bed were going to change that. Even though Billy didn’t want to think about what the future would bring in terms of his own safety and well-being, he was overly concerned with what it meant for you. I have to protect her. I have to find a way.

 The minutes ticked away and the room grew dimmer, but Billy was wide awake, the beginnings of a plan taking shape in his mind. He’d already been backing up your computers, had already planted the bag in your closet - that had happened the night he’d come to you to tell you Madani had showed up in a training exercise - but what exactly did it all mean?

 He needed to figure out a way to get you out of the city with him when it came time - because if there was one thing that Billy Russo knew, it was that time always ran out - and he wasn’t going to let it run out for someone else he cared about.

[fanfic-scribbles]

Tie a Yellow Ribbon For Me

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Even death can’t keep him From finding his way back to you.

Quick facts: Romance – [established] Gabriel/Reader – Nondescript Reader

Warnings: Angst-ish with a happy ending, many flashbacks handle it, use of ‘sugar’ as a term of endearment for a gender-neutral reader

Prompt: Written for @gabriel-monthly-challenge​’s February prompt: Spin the Wheel. I landed on “A Dozen Red Roses”. Tagging @archangelgabriellives, @archangel-with-a-shotgun , @archangelsanonymous, @ttttrickster, @warlockwriter, and @revwinchester.

Words: 2459

Special Context Note: For people who might not know: “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree” was a popular song in the seventies (I think?) performed by Dawn feat. Tony Orlando (I do recommend it; it’s a good song). It’s told from the perspective of a man writing to his lover after having been away for a few years. He tells her that if she wants him still, she can tie a yellow ribbon around a certain tree and he’ll come home, but if he doesn’t see it, he’ll assume she doesn’t want him back and he’ll keep going and never bother her again.

A/N: That summary is a little more sinister than I intended. Sorry, no dark!Gabriel here. Or “The Crow” AU. (Though hm, that’s a possible idea.) This is kind of an alt S5 post-“Hammer of the Gods” where Gabriel doesn’t go to Loki et al. This is sort of similar in premise to some other stuff I’ve written so I apologize to the people who follow me. Ironically, despite the title, this story was actually written to repeat listening of “11 Minutes” by Halsey and Yungblud feat Travis Barker ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Please enjoy! (PS: In case my formatting gets fucked up, flashbacks are encompassed by tildes (~).)

   You feel like you’ve gotten used to the silence.

Sure, you had periods of it before– spending 24/7 with a sometimes-manic archangel is a pre-requisite for madness– but those quiet moments without him had always felt like in-betweens. Small breaks, or minor reprieves, sometimes purposefully taken, and sometimes just waiting. Gabriel could have popped in at any moment.

Now he can’t.

You can say you’re mostly okay now. Mostly. You’ve lost before and you’ll lose again. It’s the nature of things, just being in the world as it is. Being a hunter in it means you’ll do it over and over and over again.

It doesn’t make it ache any less.

But you’re still going, because it’s what you’ve always done and it’s what you’ll always do. Right now you’re on your way to a small desert town that seems convinced it’s living out the movie “Tremors,” and going by the reports, you can see why. You feel a smile creep onto your lips. Gabriel would have found it funny.

~

“Have you been terrorizing a small city in Wisconsin in your spare time?” you ask and flick Gabriel with your big toe.

“Ooo, Wisconsin. Sounds like a party,” Gabriel says out loud, but the look he gives you asks, ‘Really?’ and he holds out a piece of whatever candy he’s focused on now. You trade him for the paper and take a bite while he skims the story.

He snorts and tosses it down. “Amateur. Credit for style though; there’s worse you could do than a Mel Brooks homage.”

You roll your eyes and finish swallowing. “I’m sure the three victims would agree with you, if they could.” You fold up the newspaper and set it aside from the massive stack of other regional papers that Gabriel had whined about, and yet gotten for you anyway. “I’ll head out tomorrow.”

“So you’re done working now?” Gabriel asks. He sits up and puts a piece of chocolate between his teeth, makes sure half of it is sticking out, and waggles his eyebrows.

You laugh and lean forward, bracing yourself with your hands as you stretch to meet his mouth with yours. Just as you’re about to gently bite on the chocolate, it vanishes, and Gabriel slips his tongue into your mouth instead.

Once you’ve had your fill of each other (for the moment) you can’t help how big you smile. “You’re so cheesy sometimes.”

He grins. “Sugar, you have no idea.”

~

You need a shower.

Badly.

You don’t feel the slime as much as you did when the constructs first exploded, but you don’t count that as a good thing, because it’s still there and you keep getting reminded of that whenever you shift. The day is dry and warm and a wind rushes across the desert landscape. When you step out of the car a strong gust blows past you and you shield your eyes until the air settles back to its steady pace. You get to your room and put your key in the lock when something catches your eye.

All down the sidewalk are cutouts in the concrete, just spaces of dirt that look like they’re supposed to be planters. Some of them have scattered cacti, but most are empty. Yours was empty, you're fairly certain, but now there’s a spindly long-stemmed something, being blown to the side and clinging to the dirt with nothing but tenacity. You kneel down to get a better look and–

it’s a rose.

Your breath catches in your throat. Not even a desert rose; a real, thorned rose, with petals that have obviously been sandblasted for a while and a thin stem that looks sickly.

But a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.

~

There are flowers everywhere.

Gabriel really likes this place. He’s been here for a couple of months, and it shows; every day he’s seen you (almost every single day, as of late,) he’s given you flowers– a bouquet of twelve red roses. And, as you haven’t exactly had places to put them, he has graciously offered to ‘keep them somewhere safe.’

So of course there are dozens (of dozens) of roses scattered all around the room, still miraculously alive. Heavy emphasis on the miracle.

“You're the one who said I was cheesy,” Gabriel says and sits down, but puts his drink on the side table. Champagne, of course, and he’s even wearing a ridiculous red and black patterned robe. It’s a testament to how much you like him that you are not making fun of him right now.

But you can admit you do like the roses. The petals are soft and they smell nice. You look up from your bouquet to see Gabriel smiling at you. The softness of his expression throws you off and you hide the lower half of your face in the flowers. “Why always roses?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” His smile turns all trickster. “It’s just what they have at the grocery store.”

You hit him with the bouquet hard enough that he falls off the bed. Well, his mad laughter probably helped, but you’ll still take credit for it. Asshole.

~

Someday, sentiment is going to get you killed.

You pick the rose anyway.

The young couple currently having their first date is pretty cute. Now that you’re not annoyed by them blocking the door, you can appreciate the beginning a new relationship. And it’s going to be one; they’re both all soft smiles and longing glances and dumbstruck lovelorn expressions. One of them keeps fidgeting with their hands, and the other shifts an enormous bouquet from arm to arm. You note the roses, of course, but it’s made up of a lot of other flowers too. It’s very pretty– and must have cost a fortune. You smile. Explains the coffee date.

~

“You work too much.”

“You’re a needy guy, aren’t you?” you ask and glance up from the screen. “Five more minutes, Gabriel. Then I’m all yours.”

He huffs and flops onto the table, head in his arms and pouting and grumbling enough to draw attention. You roll your eyes and, while he’s distracted, kiss the crown of his head.

He stops grumbling. But the next time you take a sip of your drink it’s like shoving pure sugar down your throat and you choke.

His smile is almost as saccharine. “I just wanted to make it as sweet as you.”

You stare at him and calmly wipe your mouth. “Twenty minutes.”

He sputters in protest.

“I’ll knock it down to ten if you walk up to the counter, wait in line, and buy me a replacement. With money.”

He starts muttering again. But he gets up.

~

You look at your computer and think about actually trawling for hunts, but, well, your coffee cup is empty and who can be asked to work under such inhumane conditions? You hop off the stool and almost crunch a stray rose underfoot. It must have been dropped by the happy couple by the door. As you pick it up you wonder how you’re going to interject and give it back, but when you stand, they’re already gone.

You look back at the flower. It’s truly lovely; obviously well cared for (and not just shoved in a fridge at a grocery store, Gabriel). You smile at the thought of his indignance, and set the rose on the table. It would be a shame to let it get thrown out, so you’ll take care of it.

Even at the end of the world, there are still mundane monsters to kill. You’re leaving a very shaken family with one less poltergeist and a lifetime therapy to look forward to (at least they have a have a lifetime, now,) when the youngest daughter runs up to you and holds up a rose. “Here! This is for you.”

Though you thank her and take it, the mom echoes your concerns when she asks, “Honey where did you get that?”

“I found it,” the kid chirps, like that’s all you need to know.

It’s a real rose with almost no thorns and a yellow ribbon tied around the stem. That’s an odd thing to just find. But the house has settled and you figure you can burn this and stick around for a day or two, just in case. You thank the little girl again, bid goodbye to her sisters and parents, and as you go you start to tuck the flower away when you see a small embroidered symbol on the ribbon.

An Enochian symbol.

  As you speed away, you barely resist the urge to chuck that fucking flower out the window. You want to. But at the same time, you can’t bring yourself to do it.

Fucking asshole.

~

“I need to understand!”

Gabriel shoves you up against the wall. Not hard enough to hurt, but it does stun you– for a second. His grip is too light and his expression too conflicted for him to convince you what a ‘monster’ he is. “You’re not that kind of person,” you say and stare him down. “So why do you want me to think you are?”

Gabriel jerks, but you grab onto his jacket and yank him back in. “What are you so afraid of, Gabriel?” you whisper. “I’m the one thing in the universe you don’t have to fear.”

Gabriel leans in, close enough to kiss. Your eyes shut on instinct. Or maybe it’s Pavlovian.

“You're the one thing in the universe I have to fear the most.”

Air brushes past your lips, the pressure of his body releases, and you open your eyes to empty space.

~

He had come back within a day, as soon as you had asked, and said ‘I’m sorry’ in every conceivable way without ever saying it with his mouth. (Well, verbally, that is.) At the time, you figured it was fine.

And maybe it was. Now that you’ve had a few days to freak out, get your hopes up and down and all around, you feel a little calmer. You have the roses set aside and the ribbon spread out on the bed while you sit with your Enochian dictionary. Gabriel wouldn’t lead you along willy-nilly. You have faith (just a little) that this means something.

And if this does turn out to be some “Drink your Ovaltine” bullshit you are going to find out how to travel back in time so you can murder him with your own two hands.

It takes a while, but you find the word, and then use a few other dictionaries and translation sites to get it into English. You check it five times, in different ways, and then sit, chest swelling with hope that you’re not sure you can handle.

‘Healing.’

You want to believe, but a rough translation boiled down to its essential part can’t make you Mulder. You put the books away and lean back against the headboard, just trying to process, when something ‘thump!’s against your door. You grab your gun and stay alert as you check the outside area, but as far as you can see, there’s no one.

But there are three roses, piled neatly just in front of the door. You smile. Because really– you’re skeptical, but you’re not stupid. You pick them up and put the flowers to your face while you mind the thorns. You’re pretty good at that by now.

“Okay,” you say and nuzzle the petals. “I’ll wait.”

You find five more roses over the next couple of weeks in utterly random places. On your pillow. In a sewer. In your water glass after you turn away for a second. In the basket you grab at a grocery store. On your passenger seat. That last one makes you ache.

That night, when you open your book and find eight perfectly placed rose petals, you almost cry. Twelve roses. It’s always been a dozen, so that means he’s coming back, right? He doesn’t appear right away, but you go to bed hopeful.

Except he’s not there in the morning.

Or the afternoon.

Or the evening. Or…

It’s late on the third day of waiting and hope is fading fast. You hit your forehead on your steering wheel and whisper, “Where are you?” Did you misread things? Was this set up in advance? Did he mean for you to heal? Was someone messing with–

Your radio comes on without any prompting and you jolt up. You’re so busy trying to look for danger that you don’t recognize the song at first.

“–nt me, if you still want me Whoa tie a yellow ribbon round the ole oak tree…”

You blink. You stop being afraid. And start being annoyed. “Are you fucking serious?”

But the song plays on, and the volume even gets jacked up. “A SIMPLE YELLOW RIBBON’S WHAT I NEED TO SET ME FREE–”

“Okay!” You turn the radio off and sit in silence for a few moments before you burst into tears and laughter both. “Fuck; you’re such an asshole,” you say, with wet eyes and a smile full of teeth.

You consider trying to track down a bonsai or some plastic palm tree, but you’ve waited long enough. Still, when you get back to your room you go through all the motions of getting ready to go to sleep. Once you’re actually sitting on the bed, you put the yellow ribbon to your wrist and manage to tie a messy bow.

You lie down, exhausted by days of constant, immense stress, and sigh. As you drift off to sleep you think, ‘I’m ready, Gabriel.

Come home.’

It happens without fanfare. You simply wake to an arm around your stomach, and a morning still dark.

“Hey,” you say, sleep-addled.

Gabriel chuckles. “Hey.”

You’ve never heard anything so beautiful, even as rough as his voice is. “You sound tired.”

“Yeah.” Gabriel presses closer to you. “Almost getting murdered by your own brother is pretty exhausting.”

“Hm.” That’s a conversation for later. Or never, depending on how stubborn Gabriel wants to be. Either way, not now. Not when you’ve got him back. You turn over and wrap yourself around him. “It’s okay,” you say. “Go to sleep. I’ve got you.”

He gives you a wry smile, but whatever snarky way you expect him to say ‘I don’t sleep’ doesn’t happen. He shuts his eyes, and you hold tight. “I’m glad you came back,” you say. “Even if I don’t have a hundred ribbons.”

He shifts with quiet laughter. “That’s all right.” He holds your wrist and places a kiss that straddles the ribbon and your skin. “I only need the one.”

[flandesuka]

Yo you should answer all of these scene questions👀👀

:OOO

you think so lad???? shit dawg i was thinkin just a few at a time but if that what u want my dear nonnie i will supply

1. wats ur scene name?

i was thinkin maybe ‘gods mistake’ would be a good one but then. i found a way to make it both danganronpa related, and, even better, a fucking pun as well. ‘kamukura kamukura jasqueen’, or just ‘kamukura jasqueen’ for short is good k thxxx

2. describe ur dream outfit!

oooo gosh this ones trickyy!! there are so many good outfits out there, especially in the scene community!! but it’d have to have a few tiny elements of dr cosplay to add a lil of my dangan-weeb culture in there ofc! more specifically, id really love to get one of kazuichis jumpsuit and just wig out and add shit like this just because i could:

(id just rlly love going out in all those glowy/shiny things at night like all that haha..and yes the shoes would probably kill me/my fuckin feet if i tried to walk in them but shut up i love them theyre cute as fuck)

3. describe ur dream haircut!

oo another tricky one!! i do like my regular hair, and honestly id be lying if i said i didnt love ibuki’s hairdo too but id defs have to go with something like this!!

yaaaassss, so pretty and spikeeeey! maybe id dye my natural hair colour black and/or add some funky colours if i ever actually got this style down!

4. describe ur dream room!

i have a lot of ideas for dream bedrooms actually, but heres a visual image of one of them i found!!!

MIKU ROOM MIKU ROOM MIKU ROOM MIKU ROOM

(this specific idea arose mainly just for the aesthetic but i also find it super cute and a good environment to be in general hhhnnggg)

5. if u could make anything out of kandi, wat would u make?

oh you mean those colourful beads and bracelet things??? i love those man!!! theyre so visually appealing to me aaaaa…id probably just make a fuck-ton of those and most probably use the little letter beads to say random words/phrases like ‘aubergine’ and ‘despacito’ knowing my shitposter self lmaooo! id definitely make a sansmaeda themed one too thoo fr

6. wat would u write on ur shoez?

it’d probably range from things like a simple kaomoji doodle to something randum and stupid like ‘seesaw’ bc yes asjnd

7. wat kinda piercingz/tattooz do u hav/want?

i dont think i rlly want any real piercings (at least not atm) but id totally go for those fake stick-on gemstone lookin’ ones! and as for tattoos, i cant rlly see myself gettin one of those rn either, but id want something like a mario power-up, preferably the bell one/cat suit powerup!!! its my favorite powerup and its sooo cute!!!

8. fave genrez?

i dont rlly have a specific genre, i like most kinds of music, but i rlly like energetic music that i can dance tooo!!! >w

9. fave bandz?

im a big fan of gorillaz and botdf!!! i like p!atd as well but havent listened to it in a while.. gatta catch up loool

10. fave songz?

my favs alternate a lot, but atm im super into ‘slow dancing in the dark’ by joji!!! so much emotiooon quq…also rlly hooked on botdf and jefree star’s ‘sexting’ tooo lmaooo

11. fave lyricz?

‘The world keeps spinning Among this sinning Oh what a cruel and disgusting place The purest moonlight Is bloodied by plight And screaming resonants But somehow I know That it’s all for show The world will reveal it’s true beauty soon And we’ll all reach towards the moon ‘

its so deep but its from a fucking kaito momota fansong and i love that asnkjdnefe

12. hav u evr been to a concert?

not in a damn long while my lad,, rip australians not havin many artists they like from other countries tour there ;-;

13. do u wanna be in a band?

ive always thought thatd be pretty cool ngl!!! tourin around with ur bandmate friends, makin awesome fuckin tunes, people lovin u and ur music, just livin the dream in general,, nice

14. wats da best soda/energy drink flavour?

havent rlly had any as of rn  my lad so i wouldnt know :/

15. wat do u miss most abt old internet?

i loved that we could all just be ourselves and act like the kids we are inside without bein reprimanded at all.. it aint rlly that much of an issue for me but i still think itd be a lot nicer if it was like that again sometimes,,

16. wats da best old meme?

ooohhh there are so many i still miss man! numa numa ermagerd and doge still remind me of the glory days…when old animeme was good and you could still haz ur cheezburgers in peace. also rage comics! rage comics were good what happened

17. best place 2 buy clothez?

i dont think theres any hot topics in australia but if there is. i will hunt it down you hear me

18. wat r ur fave accessoriez?

OH THERES SO MANY GOOD ONES??? as i stated b4 i rly love kandi bracelets and other glowy/led things!!! also rlly love ties with cute and fun patterns and long colourful and/or ripped socks like ibuki’s too hehe

19. wats ur best tip fr ppl that just got into scenecore?

im not rlly the best at advice, but my main point would be-just hav fun here dudes!!! dont let anyone else bulli u abt it, we’re supportive people, u can talk to me or anyone else whos willin to listen an/or help for reassurance ofc

20. opinion on furbiez?

oOH MY GOD YES. FURBIES. MY BABIES I WANT 10 OF THESE CHILDREN…I ACTUALLY HAVE A FURBY HE LIKES SLEEPING IN HIS SPECIAL DRAWER AND HIS NAME IS TINGLE I ADORE HIM I’LL POST A OF PICTURE LATER MAYBE

21. opinion on funko popz?

i like em and ive seen lots at eb games, but i dont buy em much..i do have a megaman pop with a broken arm tho loool

22. wats ur fave pattern? (zebra/leopard print etc)

i looove a lot of patterns but not gonna lie im always a sucker for rainbow checkerboard patterns yknow hehe!

23. fave color combo?

i dont have one rlly…soooo many possible comboooos…cx

24. sumthing u liked as a kid dat u still like?

im still going on girlsgogames and recently, ive finally mastered sues beauty machine!!!! its so good and fun all of ya’ll should try it my dudeeees

25. wats ur most used emoticon? 0w0

as most of ya’ll probs alredy know i spam ‘:O’ a lot, but one of my bigger favs is actually ‘x3′ and my fav kaomoji is ‘ଘ(੭ˊ꒳​ˋ)੭✧’ (both of them are so kyooot >w

26. wats ur fav typin quirk?

i luv talkin like dis, but i dont rly do it that often loool…i awso wuv tawking in ‘owo’ speak wike dis >//w//>

27. do u wish ur fllwrz talked 2 u moar?

hellz yeaaa!!! i luv followr interaction my dudee! it makes me super happi when u all talk to me heehee! x3c

28. tag ur fave scene blawgz!

:O !!! oh gawd!!! i dont know many atm but heeereee!

@xxadam-antidotexx (op of the ask meme)

@glitchkichi (not sure if this counts but their stuff’s rlly cool >v

@otonashi-banana (scene boyf…wuv im more than anythin >///w///>

29. wat got u into scenecore?

i dont remember exactly how it happened but i’d always sorta wanted to go back to the glory days that was the old web and the scene era, and that, coupled with a bright, colourful aesthetic that i could really enjoy, drew me in like a moth to a neon colored flame ig looollll

30. how long hav u been scene?

i’ve only been officially apart of the community for about a few months now (at time of writing) i reckon so some things are still a lil new to me ig ^^;;

31. wats da best thing abt being scene?

the freedom of bein able to express myself 4 one thing, and its just so fun being so ‘out-there’ yknow???? it feels so great really

32. do u hav a fursona?

i…actually used to but ive moved on from the furry fandom and ive grown more attached to my human sona anyway sooo :/

33. r u in sum “cringy” fandomz?

YEA man!! i dont rlly think dr is inherently considered ‘cringey’ but undertale is and im in that one for sure!!! i also kinda technically never left the skylanders fandom(?) so theres that too ig??? oh yeah and who wants to let me draw my old moshi monsters characters COWARDS

34. do u liek plushiez?

YASSSS QUEEEN!!!! i have HEAPS of them in my room on my desk with my gonta shrine

35. do u liek stickerz?

also a big yaaassss from me dawggg!!! i love them and i love those ones that you stick on your fase like this!

its so cuuute!!!

36. do u hav a friendproject?

i dont, not at the moment a least, actually! didnt even know what it was til recently but it looks kewl haha

37. do u hav any other scene account?

well, i haz this one, and i also have an emowire account for shuichi if that counts!!

38. do u make art? (drawingz, blingeez, etc.)

YES!!! i love to draw and i also make blingee edits sometimes!!! ITS SO FUN XD !!!

39. wats da most scene thing? (anything!)

hmmm, weeell…i think the most stereotyped thing would be that kewl, suuuper big hair like this;

its really prettyyyy, and i love all that colouuur!!!

40. ask ur own randum question!!

hm, oh wowie, since the anon didnt specifically ask this one…POTATOES!!! X3

phew, finally done, that was a lot of typing! this was so fun to do though, so thank u nonnie!!! :3

[flowerslut]

hit us with 11, 13, 16, 28, and 38 if you haven't gotten 'em yet 💕

11) Fluff, smut, or angst?

wow it’s like you don’t even KNOW me……………. angst sis!

13) Weirdest fic you’ve ever read?

oh god. when I was like… 13? maybe? there was this one girl I made friends with on the CSI message boards, and we both started writing fanfiction around the same time, kind of as a way to support each other and show each other that “hey, this isn’t so bad! we can write just like the adults do!” now, this girl was very different from me in that she was rich (she LITERALLY lived in a mansion) and outgoing and popular and very Not Depressed in real life (with a goddamn stable family + home life to boot, like? the fuck?!) so really the only thing we had in common was CSI.

well the fanfiction she wrote was just… and I hate saying this bc I HATE calling other people’s fanfiction bad but just. she wrote the most bizarre fics. they were just so boring? to the point where I didn’t understand what type of benefit she got out of writing it? what type of artistic release was going on? literally every chapter was the two characters going on a different, uneventful, boring date, they had identical conversations every time, all very shallow, surface-level, small talk nonsense. there was never any build up to scenes. no conflict. no real storylines. no real DIALOGUE. just weirdly repetitive, boring dates, where the two characters would just compliment one another and talk about slightly different topics of no real substance. it was…….. really something…. and I think about it all the time actually LMAO

28) Which tropes do you hate?

I’m not a fan of quite a few. the only ones that come to mind are Fake Dating (corny) Love at First Sight (really now?) that thing in fiction where a woman is angry so her love interest kisses her? y’know, that thing? (yeah fuck that) and other various corny/shitty romantic shit. like maybe I’m just picky, but there is a way to do Romantic stories right, and those^ are no-gos in my book. also I hate love-triangles. so much. oh and is gender-bending a trope? bc I hate that. I hate that probably the most.

38) From where do you draw inspiration?

other than the music I listen to, and I know this sounds corny to say, but I draw the most inspiration from my own imagination. really. I tend to hyperfixate a lot on whatever my choice of fandom so happens to be for whatever year we’re in. this year and (likely) next year’s focus is twilight. 2016-2017 was mainly miraculous ladybug with some Star Wars sprinkled in. 2013-2015 was mainly Naruto, and so on.

so when I fixate on any particular interest or fandom, I really fucking fixate. I mean like, I think about it CONSTANTLY. the things I like. the things I don’t. the things I wish I could change. the way I’d change things if I were the creator or author. and that’s really how I started writing fanfiction in the first place. I’d take my fav characters, I’d think about some scenario I’d love to see them in, and then Boom—suddenly I’m planning out giant stories in my head and I’m like “shit, now I got a new WIP”

some of my fics are born from the “put up or shut up” ideology, where I refuse to complain about not seeing what I want to see when I’m perfectly able to will the stories I want to read into existence myself.some are born from the “what if” ideology, where I wonder what would happen if B, C, or D happened instead of the original A.and some are born from the “nah love, I’m good” ideology where I take shitty canon, pluck the good stuff, and write what I wish had happened, or what would’ve been ‘better’ in my book.

of course I find myself writing my own takes on certain tropes (some hated more than others) for example I’ve written, what boils down to, a lengthy Secret Kid fanfic, a Memory Loss fic, a Stranded on an Island fic, and probably more, but these are always just things that just… sometimes happen during my whole “ooo wouldn’t it be cool if these characters had to deal with THIS” portion of my fic daydreaming.