#things that activate my bones
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Help I'm dummy old and the crack of my bones keeps alerting the Shambles!
#tes#oblivion#shivering isles#Through the Fringe of Madness#Gardens of Flesh and Bone#Jayred Ice-Veins#hero of kvatch#hok#tes oc#oc: acelta#i just want to pick mushroom in peace is that too much to ask#my old spine and knee and ankle and...#being a freelance alchemist is harder than i thought#but picking flowers and mushrooms is my favorite activity#is yoga a thing in tamreil? maybe back massage?
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Sabrae - drow, bard, child of Bhaal, the Pied Piper of the Underdark
#sabrae. my horrible girl. why do some of your bones look BLOODY#good news everyone I FINALLY HAVE AN ART STYLE#i also want everyone to know i was listening to the most saccharine russian pop while working on this#and for some reason firefox actively changes the background color to a brighter red (i can see it change during upload!)#it's fine in chrome and on mobile so i'm just gonna roll with it#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 fanart#baldur's gate 3 fanart#drow#drow tav#drow dark urge#ana draws things#ana draws bg3#digital art#bhaalspawn
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Man I hate being able to read
#average wattpad behavior tbh#someone typed that with their hands#on a separate note i hate the delulu thing#my mom said delulu to me and i made it my mission to make her regret it#it's fun when people say that sort of stuff because you can make them explain what it means and watch them Squirm#but like if you make it say real words it says the solution to your delusional like WHAT does that MEAN#if anything booktok recs make me worse off in life#colleen fucking hoover and shit#call me old and out of tune with the Youth but i think it's stupid#''ooh isaac why don't you just let people have fun??? :((( it's harmless :((('' i am actively making pottery out of your bones#delulu#tiktok#anti tiktok#booktok#there that way my target demographic will see this post#god i hate having eyes#maybe im the only person in the whole world who thinks it's dumb but that's ok i can accept that
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⛈
#last night we got devastating news from the hospital#friday we took my grandpa to the er for a delirium and leg pain due to clotted veins to get some testing done and help him#turns out he has end stage lung cancer that spread through to his bones. doctors give him 4-8 weeks - tops#i felt guilty all weekend for setting all of rhis in motion while he preferred to stay at home (which he couldn't)#and then we got this diagnosis on top of it all. i've been an absolute wreck. i was wirh him at the er and visited him sunday and today#he's doing okay but he's depressed -has been for years- and it's been really tough fighting for someone who has given up years ago#i'm going home tomorrow. i need some time to rest and process to prepare for al that's to come#anyway. just wanted to update y'all after friday's post. i'm okay - all things considered. i just won't be as active out here as usual
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Alina didn’t choose to have her powers taken from her and she didn’t intend for them to be lost. You can’t say Alina chose her ending when the ending was deliberately forced on her without her consent, and she is actively upset by this.
It has been said before and I will say it again:
Alina explicitly wants her power in the books. She has conflicting feelings on it, which is normal, but does on multiple occasions admit to herself as well as others that she likes the power, that she wants it, and that she does not wish to lose it.
This is not due to a lack of conceptualizing Alina liking her powers and Alina’s greed for power as separate things. This has nothing to do with Alina’s greed. Outside of Alina’s greed for power, she comes to love this part of herself she neglected all her life because she was raised by people who could not understand her and who taught her to be wary of her own people and culture, so much so that she subconsciously avoided dealing with who she actually was.
Equating Alina’s power with her greed is exactly what those oppressing grisha do in justification for their hate crimes. You are using the same logic as a cast of people set on genocide and oppression. Not to mention the direct connection between grisha being based on jewish persecution and how the thing that defines grisha is equated with greed, which is a highly common antisemitic depiction of jewish people.
Alina is the ethnic jew raised by goyim. She is the repressed queer child of homophobic parents. She is everybody who only got to realize and express themselves after finding and connecting with their community late in life.
A story about a persecuted minority hunted because of what makes them different ending with your main character, who is a part of that minority, losing that piece of themselves and being forced to assimilate, is incredibly problematic. And anybody who makes this criticism about “Alina choosing” forgets that Alina is a character who’s only choices are those made for her by the person who wrote her.
Another thing that people constantly misrepresent is that Alina is not happy to be stripped of her powers at the end, and explicitly expresses sadness, grief, rage, and anger about the loss of her powers. This is separate from her finding happiness despite her grief, but the grief never goes away. Which means that anybody saying she was happy to lose her powers or chose to do so is factually incorrect. Her agency is stripped from her in the end.
She doesn’t get to choose the peaceful life because the peaceful life is chosen for her. This is not a natural ending to a meaningful character arc of self realization. This is the regressive and brutal shafting of a character who’s arc was abused at every turn, and who’s actual development was walked backwards. Not because of her powers but because she is prevented from ever finding peace with her powers by the narrative.
She doesn’t have to fight a war ‘because of her powers’. She has to fight a war because her people are fucking oppressed. Laying the blame on what makes her different instead of the people who have singled her out because she is different indicates a severe lack of understanding in regards to racism, persecution, and oppression.
Her powers didn’t become so corrupt that they failed her in the end. She didn’t see the consequences and choose peace to avoid them because she wasn’t allowed to see anything at all. Her path was decided for her before she could even look down the other.
People focus on Alina and her powers because that is the story. It is a story about realizing something crucial about yourself that has been kept from you and repressed your whole life. It is an incredibly important story to tell. It is a coming of age story about self realization and self actualization and finding agency after a life where you realize you had none.
Blaming Alina being grisha for why she is stripped of her grishaness is fundamentally flawed argument. If the greed for power was what was supposed to be punished, then she would only have lost that which she sought in her greed. And if a balance needed to be reached, then there would be just as many sun summoners as shadow summoners in the world. Because she lost more than that and because of the discordance in thematic symbolism, the message becomes a punishment not for “greed” (which shouldn’t have even been the message in the first place for a plot and setting like this), but for something else. It becomes a punishment for her being grisha and coming to love and accept herself for it. It becomes a punishment of reveling in one’s difference. It becomes a statement about living outside of the boxes society tries to place people in. It becomes a message about oppression and assimilation on the side of oppression and assimilation.
The most important criticism about the ending will always be about the framing of Alina losing her powers. Alina choosing peace and love over power as a message would only have been able to work if Alina had been able to choose it. And to do so she would have had to choose it when she still had her powers. That is the only progression her developmental arc of “choosing peace and love” could have taken if it didn’t want to become regressive and strip her completely of her agency.
#grishaverse#shadow and bone#sab#alina starkov#sab salt#sab critical#ruin and rising#sab negativity#sab meta#myramblings#i need to get this off my chest before i explode#this is a vagueblog yes im sorry i had to put all of this frustration somewhere im sorry#this isn't worded very well but i am at my wits end#hopefully after i make this i can go back to focusing on the positive things that i actually like about sab#i actually dont mind the ending (it isn't as if cheap endings dont exist)#but when people come out and say it was good for alina or that she liked it or that the message was in any way a good one?#when it was actively harmful and entirely regressive?#no#alina's arc is a regressive one#which isn't exactly bad#but when it's framed as GOOD well... then there's some bs going on#fandomcourse#negative#negativity#antisemitism mention tw#genocide mention tw
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I am exhausted, good heavens.
#hey watch this neat trick I can do [cries]#love that for me#BUT#BUT- the actual EFFORT I put these days to not make a suicide jokes is *chefs kiss* phenomenal#actively shitting bricks as I physically have to stop myself from saying I want a car to hit me for the 50th time that day#I am not progressing any more than I am downgressing or whatever the opposite word is. but girlies#and boysies and peepsies#my lipgloss is popping and my eyebags are gucci- and so I shall prevail#MAN this tiredness is BONE DEEP man- it's like it's engraved into my goddamn clavicles#sorry that was like the only bone name I could remember- I don't even know what a clavicle is#anyways- I need to fall asleep forever and never wake up. But not in like a dying way#I just need to stop waking up tired and being tired and going to sleep tired and living tired like GIRL#WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SLEEP STOPS SLEEPING#I JUST SLEPT 10 HOURS HOW ARE YOU STILL TIRED#I am so tired that i stopped liking shit- like that SUCKS my dudes#I sometimes Don't Like art now and that is WILD to me because that was lowkey the One Thing that got me going#I used to actually LIKE english class! and reading Shakespear and shit!!!! and history class!! Now I don't!! Where did the spark go??????#Now everything feels like a chooooooore and it sucks major dick#and my graaaades are slipping because I stopped giving a damn but I NEED. TO. GIVE. A. DAMN#because those are like highkey lowkey and every-other-key my grades and I need them to go into uni so I don't die <333#I need to spite little mini me who said I wasn't going to live past 13 because BITCH- guess how old I'm turning next week????????#THAT'S RIGHT- 17 YEARS OLD- FUCK YEAH BABY I'M STILL NOT DEAD#SUCK MY BIG ASS SHLONG MINI-ME#and then I have a big biology exam the day after so- funnnnn!!#anywho- should I tag this as vent? this probably counts as vent right? like among us? impostor and shit?#sorry I think my brain is actively rotting out of my ears right now#vent post#personal vent#tw vent#tw sui talk
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@sableglass read Chapter 24 last night.
#it's a really cool feeling to have so many people's real-time reactions to something i've written#i don't always have appropriate responses to things. there's just something wrong with me.#so i got a bit overwhelmed when i was publishing the thing bc relative to the amount of positive interactions i normally have#like i just literally couldn't handle it haha#receiving praise activates my fight or flight i really am a fucking feral animal#but like... idk knowing you trust me enough to read the “what the fuck??” parts all the way through#and then it makes sense what i've been doing for the last what 300 fucking pages#this chapter is why i'm on the fence about ever writing the story out chronologically rather than compressing it the way i do#like if i had told that story chronologically it'd be some lonesome dove shit that slowly went bone tomahawk#they're on their fourth loop if we're going purely by on-page deaths#i don't even want to think about how many fucking pages it would be if i did it chronologically#you'd get a lot more of the in-town nonsense with royston (like watching him have to consciously decide to help sullivan vs. fuck with him)#and the hustons. i could write 300 pages just on cal and del. my roommate stans them.#i'm getting into spoiler territory soz#anyway#bc i think all i did last night was laugh at cocaine bear you get a hashtag post response <3
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smth kinda fucked up about watching doumeki go from whole assedly making life or death decisions for watanuki as a desperate but firm love language every other tuesday to fucking sitting in quiet anguish with a pained look on his face with his eyebrows fucking tweaking out, still able to make life or death protective decisions sometimes but being fucking paralysed with indecision most times that don't involve immediate physical actions to the point it's clearly ripping his head and heart in two even if he still retains that refusal to give up
#seeing love grant him the strength to make drastic actions but also to freeze him in a stasis that actively hurts every bone in his body is#iDKKKK IDK IDK IDK#my complicated thoughts abt rou strike again#i rly like the intricacies to which stuff stays the same and stuff plunges into tragic monotony and hurt#although some things about the ending/continuation are pure ass and clamp being dumb for no reason#the real complicated part is that i mostly love how well characterised and visceral the hurt of the angst is#but that i wish there was an inproving end point because of the love for the characters and moral of 70 percent of the story#you want these characters to go through it and then to come to happier places or reconvene somehow but#well#ive explained this conundrum 500 times before#but this is one of those specific cases where i have to say that the expression work in holic is so fucking singular#that even when they dont or barely speak you can fucking read everyones eyes like a book#its why i hesitate to call douwata subtext#it doesnt rly make sense cause the feelings involved are so obvious as they are with everything else in the series#the expression work is both rly good for understanding the story in a way that doesn't just focus on good art or speech bubbles#but also it means you can actively see a characters heart shatter into tiny sharp abrasive pieces in real time#it's beautiful and horrific and aaaa#when shit goes quiet and doumeki leaves the room and just breaks tf down and we basically see him all but fucking crying#god.
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he compels me in that i want to hit him so bad
absolute fucking cockroach. he infested my brain
(picrew)
#castys#picrew#been workin on the next thing for him and oohhhh wanna break his bones#thank god he's on a fucking leash. he needs to be#yes he would wear cargo pants unironically he likes having Pockets we can make fun of him for this#i know i made him specifically for me but God he activates my aggression
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hey if rinne can have his mum and niki can have his can himeru have kaname back
He nii-chan jacket too big for he gotdamn he,,,,,
#enstars#himeru#kaname tojou#himeru can have 1 nice thing from me. as a treat.#but also 'cause i felt bad for that other doodle req where he was suffering--#'cause i meant to draw something nice for him afterwards but never got around to it so he can have this#anyways so himeru is so incredibly smart yet stupid.#i have said this on main.#YOU BETTER READ THIS PART#there's no way he doesn't know you start losing bone and muscle mass after being bedridden for an extensive period of time.#so there's already a gulf of physical difference between him and kaname (because he is. a very physically active idol)#what is he gonna do when kaname wakes up WHAT IS HE GONNA DO WHEN KANAME WAKES UP#kaname's most likely gonna be in a wheelchair when he does but. yeah my point still stands#'physically identical' my ass#doodle req#sana postal service
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ah great. yearning hours again.
#AUGH. DAMMIT#i want to be held like my best friend used to hold me#we aren't friends anymore. it's for the best and i'm glad we're done#but i miss being held by someone who means the world to me (who i mean the world to too)#i hope when i go to college i find someone like that again. maybe we could be partners. that would be nice#but for now i just have to sit with this ache in my bones waiting for someday#so that's. fun.#i'm going to a big college. surely somebody there will know what a queerplatonic relationship is (and would like one with me)#someone who doesn't mind my idiosyncrasies and awkwardness and finicky-ness with physical touch#part of me's worried the school's too big. so big i won't be able to find someone like that#lost in the crowd yknow?#but surely we'd gravitate towards sort of the same things#majors or clubs or activities#i dunno. we'll see i guess#friday chats
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Honestly I think it would do us all well to go back to kinda cringy feminism again for a little bit idk cause I think maybe for some people the discourse somehow circled back around to supporting sexism just rebranded or whatever so its more aesthetic
#personal#instead of progressing the discourse into idk more inclusion of women of color and trans women#it went in the direction of like glorifying women being stupid and romanticizing beauty standarts#also weird centering of men all over again in feminism and in general for some reason#remember in the early 2010s when emma watson was like obliterated for that 'he for she' campaign#because it prioritized men in feminist discourse and then thats the exact direction where things went later on (and where it is currently)#people care more abt like 'haha this is my golden retriever bf he drinks respect women juice!' than about actual women speaking abt feminis#like being a feminist isnt about social change and women prioritizing each other its abt how dudes are hot when they do the bare minimum!#also have you noticed the rise in lesbophobia both in the sense of persecution of lesbians themselves#and of lesbians relationships and culture which other wlw are also part of (its giving lavender menace)#and also remember how we had the me too movement and then immediately after#everyone still fell for a smear campaing against a victim of domestic abuse?#anyway i would really love to get back to basics of like women should support each other!#and beauty standarts overwhelmingly negatively affect women and girls!#and we still need to incentivize girls to seek out intellectual pursuits especially in STEM and leadership roles!#because we continue to be underpresented in those fields and the only way to enact change is to bring our perspectives to those areas#instead of asking politely for guys to throw us a bone!#also stop acting like its cringe to openly and vocally center and prioritize women in every sphere of our lives possible!#and also maybe go back to actively trying to do that! and considering that a good thing!??#because we're the ones who should have our backs most of all?? idk idk#also where are the teeth??#why is everyone so afraid of being angry now???#its like some people circled back to being afraid of being mistaken for man-hating or something#just for pointing out common sense aspects of oppression without adding an asterisk about how men suffer too!#i thought we all knew there is no such thing as reverse sexism!!!#idk!!!#and this isnt me condoning choice feminism many women are evil and actively work against their own interests#or antagonize other women to make themselves feel important such as terfs etc#but idk its like everyone internalized that 'well women can suck too' so hard that its become like#'*most* women suck and we dont even have to keep trying to empathize and prioritize each other and our issues anymore'
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alright anorexia is boring, let’s get yolked
#yeah so i gained 20lbs and started hitting the gym pretty hard two months ago#struggling with weight restoration/relapse urges worse than ever BUT i’m also feeling good about my progress and enjoying myself immensely#honestly didn’t realize how bad i missed lifting#and now that i have time off work i can actually focus on getting my nutrition right (i.e. actually consuming enough protein for once)#pegasus speaks#my face#my ancient ipod camera is shit quality but my abs are starting to show for the first time in like … 1.5 years lol#and im pleased with my anterior/lateral delts! although my pecs need some serious work. wtf#i train chest 2-3x/week and i can still see bones fml#ed ment tw#weight tw#ask to tag#i feel like i’m kind of relearning all my limits. like in terms of physical/mental energy and stuff. idk#doing a lot of research and figuring it out as i go. trying to avoid falling into systemic fatigue etc#i’m already exhausted all the time but my doctor told me i should keep active so. i am#as much as i love the gym i do have to compensate in other areas of my life#if i want to push myself this hard then that’s my choice. but like. i need to give up on doing other things. give and take. spoon theory#etc etc etc
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I’m always so fascinated by people’s bad roommate stories. I’m not sure I’ll ever live with someone I haven’t vetted extensively beforehand ever again
#every living situation where i’ve been assigned roommates randomly; i always seem to get one person who is an absolute angel#and 1-2 people who are honestly fucked up#i lived in halls 1 year of undergrad and everyone was kind of equally insane. honestly no one stood out as particularly bad#because everyone was just constantly screaming. i dealt with it by going home most weekends and getting noise cancelling headphones#3rd year of undergrad i lived in a suite which.. honestly was basically an apartment. had a living room/kitchenette; a toilet; a shower room#and 4 bedrooms#one of my roommates i’m still friends with to this day but honestly they were and are kind of a ridiculous person#like they were actively dealing drugs most of the year and their boyfriend was around most of the time and they would bone LOUDLY#and that’s the good roommate. so you can imagine the other two#one of the others.. honestly wasn’t a bad roommate; she was helpful and clean and civil#she was loud as hell though. she used to have attacks of insomnia and decide to rearrange her furniture at 3 in the morning#and we shared a wall. she also had an illegal pet rabbit.#our personalities just didn’t mesh well; like it became clear pretty fast that we were going to spend as little time together as possible#third roommate was loud; rude; annoying and gross. she’d be calling people at 7am just to yell down the phone to them about her problems#i was like who is picking up the phone to this bitch. she also picked up on my homosexual vibes in that way that homophobic straight girls#always seem to have; and was convinced i had a crush on her. and she bought a betta fish (allowed according to dorm rules) and then it died#because she didn’t want to take care of it properly. and she refused to do anything for herself#like she was always breaking shit and leaving it because she didn’t want to email or call maintenance. so then i’d have to do it#because it was always something we specifically shared. like a set of shelves she put a fucking 5lb shampoo bottle on. twice.#in grad school it was almost the same thing. one angel roommate who was kind of messy but otherwise fantastic#she rolled the best joints i have ever seen. and i still miss her cat cali#it was the men that were the problem. one was an international student who left after a month and bothered nobody#like to the point i didn’t notice when he moved out because he was so innocuous#the other two though….. so one of them started hooking up with my favourite roommate and immediately became SUPER annoying#the other one stole shit; left lights on all the time; left fridge and cupboard and freezer doors open; tried to guilt trip me#into giving him my weed; played mariah carey at 2am; never bought a single cleaning product or household item for the collective#unless you told him to…… he was even using my toothpaste at one point. like. sir.#oh and he was always dirtying other people’s dishes and cookware and leaving them in the sink for days. and leaving big chunks of food#in the sink. it was fucking gross#personal
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ENIES LOBBY TIME!!!
Sanji's face here.... he Knows he is going to fuck him up
THAT IS SANJI??? 😨
Holding them in my hands again....
Sanji struck a nerve there akdjaoajkq
Increible trio btw.... look at the evidence
............ me next please 🙏🏻
That is love right there I can see it
What if we all killed ourselves (except usopp is telling her the opposite ajahkdhsakjd)
I need sanji to go insane like this more often.... after the timeskip it doesn't happen as much and I love to see him suffering
This is so funny.... there is no denying to her face card
"It's not like she actually wants to die" well yes she does, but no because you know she doesn't really. It is in a quantum state right now
Luffy is such a menace akdhaksjkaak
TELL EM!!!! THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!
Look at franky worrying about robin.... do not fret luffy is coming and he will NOT lose!!!!!
This is zoro remarking how usopps fear of being left behind makes no sense.... this is so good.....
This is so endearing but it also breaks my heart....
Who is that sultry binch... (I don't recall this attack AT ALL and i'm sure we never see it again)
They botched his bbl.... 😔😔😔
Luffy's face here... he was convinced she wanted to go with them but was compelled to do otherwise but no.... he thought wrong and he can't fight to her.... I've just been staring at this page for minutes like damn.
Nevermind.... this is something your mother would say "you want to die??? Just wash the dishes and you can do whatever you want later"
"If you wanna die, or whatever...." this is so good like he knows what he is doing.... he Knows.... look at her face. After knowing how luffy and ace were as kids this just makes more sense (oda didn't think about this i'm sure but damn does it fit) also the slight manipulation.... look at all of us we're already here and look how we all miss you already... you know that post about luffy being selfish but his selfishness is jusg kindness to others... yesh
Thinking about robin's cinderella lifestyle.... why did her mother leave her with that aunt and why didn't some archeologist take her in?? Because she doesn't complain about anything just like she doesn't respond when that mother accused her of hitting her child without reason... that's so fucked
Alright this is funny (and also true)... I'm sorry fellow women....
*Justin Bieber voice* I like your laugh... dereishi shishishi
SHE'S GONNA ASK HER MOM TO TAKE HER TO THE SEA WITH HER??? LIKE SHE DOES AFTER WITH LUFFY??? MY GOD!!! I just bursted into tears like I got punched in the nose I can't keep going ajdhakajk
I lied i can keep going... but head in my hands over this....
Find out how my emotional stability survives this arc in ennies lobby part 2. coming soon
#franky calling sanji brother eyebrows is too good akdbsksnsk also ily franky#captain t bone.... he got killed tecently.... i forgot who he was until now but he actually cared thats so fucked up.... cross guild come o#sanji going against cp9 by himself.... i shant say it... SLAY!!!! also the cook being mad about being pretty cause he has no individuality.#lucci talking about a little girl being born wrong and needing to die for it TO SANJI!!! OOF!!!#the frog stopped rocketman bc he thought they kidnapped kokoro just like they took tom 😭😭😭 this fucking frog always gets me#chapter 377 and franky is in the headline with the strawhats ❤️❤️ they recruit TWO thirty year olds in enies lobby ajdhaksjks#franky biting spandex head.... yeah... and he should do it more why did he stop biting heads... he got domesticated#luffy is such a menace here like damn.... he is charging thru EVERYTHING!! GET THEM BOY!!!!#also franky is so important in giving robin hope here... like she sees him fighting back no matter what and i KNOW that inspires her...#i am going to say it hina fullbody and jango have a challengers thing going on but without hina being involved physically iykwim#when in action panels the ink just becomes lines... OOF!!! CHEFS KISS!!! MWAH MWAH#completely forgot gear 2 used the shave technique.... thats so cool..... also iron body must be haki then... and finger pistol#i dont think i can do this... after this ends we got thriller bark and then marineford starts building up...#i can endure water 7 sad moments bc everything ends up well in the end but what am i gonna do with marineford.... my god#also dr clover and dr hyruluk and crocus all have smilar plant based hair designs is that bc they are doctors or just coincidence#also robins father is dead and for sure another archeologist or similar.... thats inch resting....#which also like damn olvia and dragon had to make the same choices with their children i am sure. thats so fucked. dragon backstory when#clover knew the name of the fallen kingdom (robonosuke lore??) and also olvia knew some important information the gov didnt know... ✍️✍️✍️#SAKAZUKI SHOT THE EVACUATION SHIP???? HELLO??? I DIDNT REMEMBER IT WAS HIM!! (also olvia knew where saul was)#kuzan is sick in the head... he can't bring himsef to kill child robin but he will kill her as an adult... also his beef with akainu is OLD#like no wonder she was terrified when she saw him again. he said live like a recluse or i will end you and she fucking did. THE bogeyman#there are comments saying they hate akainu and he has just appeared 😭😭 JUST FUCKING WAIT#you guys think when luffy realised robin's enemy was the world gov he also realised it was sabo's enemy too.... bc as a child he didn't kno#also pluton was made as a countermeasure for the weapon robin could reactivate... could that be the one that was used in lulusia??#bc i thought that weapon was pluton but if pluton is just blueprints.... this makes more sense... which could also mean the ancient weapons#are a countermeasure for weapons the government already has. and thats why they're hunting them down. to have no opposition#so there must be two sides of the ancient weapons bc they call pluton that but also the unnamed one that robin could activate#so is pluton a countermeasure to uranus (the one used in lulusia i think) but neptune? trios dont make sene but a trio and their opposite d#reading one piece#enies lobby
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i hate fatphobia i hate fatphobia i hate fatphobia!!!! "i don't hate fat people! it's about health-" ok, so it's about health? cool so i lost quite a bit of weight i didn't want or need to lose as a result of a health condition i've just had surgery to fix. i want to gain around 20 pounds because i feel uncomfortable, weakened, and unhealthy at this weight. why then, if not becayse fatphobia is a virulent HATRED of even the IDEA of fat bodies, can i not find any info on how to GAIN weight healthily???? why, when i actively search for this, am i met with page after page of private webpages and medical information sites alike volunteering metric fuck tons of weight LOSS tips, how NOT to gain weight after this proceedure, why i should actually LOSE weight instead??? because the institution of fatphobia would PREFER that i am sick, tired, cold, and SKINNY than if i gained even a single, healthy pound of fucking fat.
#im really bitter im sorry#i dont want to see all these bones in my face. i dont want to see every rib. i dont want to wake up with painful marks#where my knees pressed together overnight#i feel like a weapon#its making me incredibly dysphoric on top of it all#i was a skinny child but i was also incredibly active and a picky eater#i was actually a bit “over”weight in my teens and had the lessons of weight = value drilled into me#and now as an adult i want to feel whole and strong and resilient#i want to gain fat and muscle and feel capable when i do things like lift things and exercise#fatphobia#health#surgery#weight#weight gain#weight loss
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