#i rly like the intricacies to which stuff stays the same and stuff plunges into tragic monotony and hurt | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

floorpancakes · 27 days ago

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smth kinda fucked up about watching doumeki go from whole assedly making life or death decisions for watanuki as a desperate but firm love language every other tuesday to fucking sitting in quiet anguish with a pained look on his face with his eyebrows fucking tweaking out, still able to make life or death protective decisions sometimes but being fucking paralysed with indecision most times that don't involve immediate physical actions to the point it's clearly ripping his head and heart in two even if he still retains that refusal to give up

#seeing love grant him the strength to make drastic actions but also to freeze him in a stasis that actively hurts every bone in his body is #iDKKKK IDK IDK IDK #my complicated thoughts abt rou strike again #i rly like the intricacies to which stuff stays the same and stuff plunges into tragic monotony and hurt #although some things about the ending/continuation are pure ass and clamp being dumb for no reason #the real complicated part is that i mostly love how well characterised and visceral the hurt of the angst is #but that i wish there was an inproving end point because of the love for the characters and moral of 70 percent of the story #you want these characters to go through it and then to come to happier places or reconvene somehow but #well #ive explained this conundrum 500 times before #but this is one of those specific cases where i have to say that the expression work in holic is so fucking singular #that even when they dont or barely speak you can fucking read everyones eyes like a book #its why i hesitate to call douwata subtext #it doesnt rly make sense cause the feelings involved are so obvious as they are with everything else in the series #the expression work is both rly good for understanding the story in a way that doesn't just focus on good art or speech bubbles #but also it means you can actively see a characters heart shatter into tiny sharp abrasive pieces in real time #it's beautiful and horrific and aaaa #when shit goes quiet and doumeki leaves the room and just breaks tf down and we basically see him all but fucking crying #god.

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