#things Gordon does not want to do

[squidsinashirt]

“Sorry Mr Tracy, we’re having to use the paediatric machine today due to a breakdown.”

This is 100% a trap to get me in that machine but the stingray has sold it for me. I better get a sticker too 👀

[midmorninggrey]

i'm trying out this radical idea where my OCs don't all die. like maybe they get happy endings.

[hana-bobo-finch]

erm…..posting about an OC via a rushed shitpost was not on my 2025 bingo card!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂get it??? 😂😂😂because his name is bingo??(GETS SHOT)

these are all things he has done or has attempted to do so consider this the full intro post for that freak for now. he’s still too undercooked to fully introduce but damn I love him

[c0wchickenbeefp0rk]

How it feels seeing Gotham try to make me empathize with Harvey bullock multiple times when in episode two of SEASON ONE he literally threatens to beat a black teenager for not confessing and then justifies it by him not really meaning it and the kid being big enough to defend himself. Gotham ur not gonna make me have sympathy for your average milk toast corrupt cop who never gets better I'm sorry

[diorstarr]

[prettyflyshyguy]

Graphic design continues to be a new passion???

[homunculus-argument]

Just once I'd like to go somewhere abroad, weasel myself into a local church, sit through a sunday service and then go talk to the priest, saying that I'm a priest myself and it's interesting how you do that all quite differently from how we do it back home, and ask if I could do one of my own the way we do it. And if yes, proceed to take up next week's sunday sermon, and then throw the whole thing by yelling Gordon Ramsay style. Like going thiiis close to pronouncing the "fuck" in "DOES THIS FUCKING LOOK CHRISTIAN TO YOU?" even though the "fuck" is silent and only heavily implied.

Just straight-up go ham in there, remind them that "what would Jesus do" includes "leave the building, go weave a whip, and then come back inside to beat the shit out of people with it" as an option. Yell at the men for being lazy husbands for blaming women for everything, because where the fuck was Adam when his wife was left to make that choice alone. Real fucking convenient to act like you are without sin when your sin is to simply do nothing.

And then once I'm done just say thank you and leave, with no explanation, never to be seen again. That's not how sermons are where I come from, not that I've seen that many. I've never sat through a regular church service at home. I'm not even a christian. I just wanted to yell.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Clark: Mr. Wayne, can I ask some questions for the Daily Planet? Bruce: Certainly, especially for a reporter as handsome as you, Mr.-? Clark: Clark Kent. Bruce: A name as lovely as the man. Fitting. What questions do you have? Clark: There have been hundreds, if not thousands, of paranormal incidents reported within the Gotham Clock Tower, built and owned by your family. Do you believe these rumors have any weight? Bruce: You mean the legend of the Ghost Boy? Well, it's an interesting story, but in all the years I've been inside the clock tower, I've never seen the famous Phantom. Of course, I also haven't been inside it often, as my Grandfather closed it to the public due to safety concerns, and that included my family. Clark: Then you think that nothing is inside the tower? Bruce: I think the paranormal is real, especially with aliens like Superman being real, but I genuinely believe the Gotham Clock Tower ghost is just an old wives' tale. Clark: Hmm. Including the Lure? Bruce: Yes, including the Lure. As any Gothamite can tell you, the legend states Phantom's singing lures children into the Tower to never be seen again. Children are cautioned not to walk near the Tower after sunset or fall victim to the Lure, but I visited the Tower multiple times as a child, and many other children did too. It's often a dare Gothamites do as teenagers, practically a rite of passage. Clark: Quite a dare. Bruce smiling: It keeps things lively. You know how kids are. They claim they aren't scared, but everyone who does the dare is shaking in their boots. Clark: On the topic of those dares: What are your thoughts on recent rumors claiming that the string of missing teenagers are victims of Phantom? Bruce: I know Batman has made a statement, indirectly, since Commissioner Gordon was the one at the press conference - that he believes Phantom is behind this, but there is just no proof. Personally, I would rather a real detective investigate the missing cases than a man who hides behind masks. Even if Superman agrees with Batman. Clark: You don't seem to be much of a Batman fan. Bruce laughing: You seem to be one. I can tell I upset you with my opinion of him, but really, I think Batman is worthless and necessarily violent. He only punches at the problems but doesn't seem to fight for a better life quality in Gotham, and that's where crime really comes from. Clark is annoyed: Batman risks his life for this city. Bruce: You risk your life walking through the city. But I digress, if people want to believe Batman's warning of Phantom waking to kidnap teenagers, well, that's their opinion. Clark: Thank you for your time, Mr. Wyane. I'm sure many Gothamites will agree with a man as knowledgeable as you. Bruce: Thank you! And hey, if you're inclined in the same gender, I'm free this- Clark: Good day, Mr. Wayne. Tim watching Clark leave: What was the point of that? Bruce: Kent has a sway over the public; if he writes to take the warning seriously, then the people will listen. How was the stakeout? Tim: Oh, there is definitely something in the Tower. Its glowing green eyes locked with mine six different times, no matter how much I moved on the roofs. I was far away enough that Lure couldn't reach me, but I did hear a faint singing in the wind. Phantom is back. Bruce: Then tonight, we contact Zatana and John. That thing is going to give the kids back.

[arkangelo-7]

Okay, but, the GCPD and the Batfamily having a dysfunctional working relationship would be hilarious. Like, the cops know they need the Bats to help keep Gotham’s streets clean, but man, they are fucking troublemakers.

Take Dick, for example. He’s already naturally at home in a police station, so he’ll regularly waltz into GCPD headquarters to give pointers on cases, act as a translator, and will occasionally bring donuts for the night officers. But he’s also been trying to get them to unionize since 2009 and will also unabashedly steal things from the evidence locker. (He always returns it, usually with the adjacent case completed, but it’s a lot of red tape and that’s very annoying.) He also fucks up the coffee machine every time he uses it.

As for Jason… On one hand he is excellent at tracking down perps that have escaped custody or gone to ground. It’s not uncommon for him to pull up with a van full of criminals on the wanted list, which is great… expect for the fact that Jason is also on the wanted list. So whenever he shows up the GCPD cops have to put in effort (minimal as it may be) to try and “capture” the Red Hood so that they don’t get audited by Homeland Security. So now like once a month they have to chase the Red Hood across Gotham proper, because he handed the Penguin into their custody or something, and they have to look good for their bosses—it’s a waste of resources and really fucking annoying, but, hey, they got the Penguin?

Surprisingly, Tim and Stephanie are the most frequent visitors of the GCPD—and they are also the most dreaded. Because Tim is a plucky little know-it-all, but also he can and will update their entire database in a single night and will, at random, solve a cold case they’ve been sitting on for 20 years. The problem is that he’s just fucking annoying about it, and every other week he’ll break into the vending machine to steal the energy drinks—that shit is impossible to get replaced. And Steph? She’ll talk the ears off the night shift and get everyone off task, because they’re busy gossiping about the accounting department in the Manor’s office and planning a prank war on the fire department.

You would think Cassandra would be everyone’s favorite because she’s quiet and much less destructive then her siblings, but you’d be wrong—Cassandra is an absolute menace and the night shift workers have spent years trying to prove it. She will sneak up behind people, leave random pebbles in people’s shoes, and will put googly eyes on anything she touches. The day shift thinks the night officers need to chill because, “isn’t she the chill one?” (No. No she is not. None of the Bats are chill.)

And then there’s Damian. As Robin, the closest he usually gets to the GCPD is through Batman, via his consultations with Commissioner Gordon. But on the rare occasions he’s permitted inside the GCPD, he is dotted on extensively by the officers. He’s deadly and abrasive but they love him. They give him candy and head pats and let him use the sketch-artist supplies to do drawings, which they religiously pin to the break room refrigerator. Damian will pretend to despise this despite the fact that he so clearly loves it.

Lastly, there’s Duke. As the only day shifter, he’s widely considered to be the most well adjusted and relatable Bat. Half a year into his tenure as Signal, he’s on a first name basis with half the GCPD, has his own locker and fridge space for his lunchbox, a coffee mug with his logo on it is kept in the break room, and he’s already been nominated for Employee of the Year despite the fact that he does not actually work for the GCPD. The night shift refuses to accept that he is real.

[jaewritesfic]

Melon!AU Part 2

If it had been anyone but Cass to suggest it, Bruce is certain that both Damian and Tim would have responded with an immediate and vehement, Are you insane?!

But it is Cass. It's Cass, so Damian makes a choked sound and bites out, “Help. The Pit Demon?”

Similarly, Tim chokes out, “I don't know about that one, Black Bat. I mean- it's- it looks-”

“Judging books?” Cass asks through comms, a gentle disapproval in her tone that rivals Alfred’s in effectiveness. Bruce himself feels a little cowed by it.

Diplomacy had not, after all, been on his mind before his daughter spoke up.

He should know better than to make assumptions, especially if she's right and the creature isn't as hostile as it seems.

That's still a very big if.

“Commissioner,” Bruce says lowly, turning his head. Gordon is lingering near the roof access stairway, having come up to brief them but seeming reluctant to even look down on the creature in the alley. “Have there been any casualties? Injuries?”

Jim falters, uncharacteristically rattled. Bruce can't blame him - there's a low level dread and an unsettling feeling just being in the same vicinity as the creature, and that's as a seasoned vigilante. Someone who faces death down regularly.

“Uh. No. No, it uh- it took some swipes at people who got too close, but it didn't connect. We backed off pretty fast and called you as soon as possible.”

Bruce blinks. “Not even any blood drawn?”

Gordon shakes his head. “Damn miracle. The thing is fast and those claws are vicious.”

He hears Cass hum into the comms, and he understands exactly why.

The thing in the alley is built to do damage. He has his doubts it was any kind of miracle that made it ‘miss’ any of the swipes it took.

Trying to scare them off indeed.

“Black Bat. What exactly are you reading off the creature?”

“Looking for exits. Desperate. Overwhelmed.”

Bruce hums. “Being cornered and desperate will make anyone or anything dangerous. We need to proceed carefully here. Even if it doesn't want to hurt anyone, that doesn't mean it won't if it thinks it has no other-”

The shadow that is Cass shifts in his periphery, and he looks up to the opposite roof just in time to bark, “Do not-!” as Cass steps off the roof and flips down into the alley.

Why are his kids so determined to give him a stroke?

Dick vaults up over the edge of the roof to join he and Tim, saying, “I'm here, what's-”

He cuts off and claps his hands over his ears with everyone else when the creature shrieks at Black Bat's unexpected arrival.

“Black Bat,” Bruce grits out, heart in his throat as he peers over the edge with ringing ears. “Retreat back to the rooftops now.”

One tap to the comm. No.

Bruce grits his teeth, fighting not to show his anxiety. It's not like Cass to refuse orders. Hell, he can't remember her ever disobeying an order in the field so blatantly.

The low warning noise the creature is making now is almost as bad as the shriek. Something about it sets off every alarm bell in his brain, like it was never meant to be heard by human ears. Almost a growl, almost a moan, something celestial and unfathomable.

Cass doesn't back up or get any closer. She raises a hand slowly in a little wave and says, “Hello.”

If it were possible to startle a fax machine, it would probably sound like the creature does as it jerks and snaps its mouth shut in surprise, lamplight eyes going huge and round.

Masterpost

[sanguineterrain]

crushin' | jason todd

Summary: Barbara invites you to dinner with the Bats. She's done so before, and you've always declined, but this time, you agree because the Bat you've had a crush on for ages will be there. Little do you know, the only reason he's staying for dinner is because of you.

Pairing: Jason Todd x gn!reader 

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings/tags: batfam shenanigans, dick is a good meddling brother and deserves a fruit basket, fluff and humor, kissing, crushes, love confessions. just wanted to write something sweet and light :)

the divider

"So you're gonna press this," Barbara says, demonstrating on her own screen.

You follow along, clicking and typing. She nods.

"Good. Then you're gonna do this."

You open the file. A video of what looks to be Bruce drunkenly hula-hooping pops up. Your eyes widen.

"And that's how you keep Bruce in check," Barbara says, patting your shoulder. "Use sparingly. Only when he's getting on your last nerve."

"Wow," you say. "Babs, I... I don't know if I should have this kind of power."

"No, it's cool. I have dirt on everyone in this family, so really, it's my power. You're the only one who gets to see the vault."

You look at her. "You scare me."

She grins. "Thanks! Anyway, you're free to go. They'll be back from the mission soon, so our job is pretty much over."

The computer beeps. She checks the notification and types back. Then she hums.

"Or, you can, y'know, join us for dinner. Alfred keeps wondering when you'll do so."

You press your lips together. "I dunno, Babs... are you sure? I don't want to intrude."

"You're not. Seriously. And you know what I just found out? Jason will be here too."

Well. That does certainly stop your refusal in its tracks. You haven't seen Jason properly since he returned. You feel a pang of guilt at that; true, he's never at the Manor, at least not when you're around. But you could've reached out by now.

Still, being able to see him again properly is a wonderful opportunity. One you can't pass up.

"Okay," you say. "I'll join you all. As long as Alfred's okay with it."

She rolls her eyes, smiles. "Don't be ridiculous. C'mon."

You follow her to the elevator Bruce got installed for her. In the Manor, most of the family are sitting down to dinner. Damian and Cass are on one side of the table. Bruce is at the head. Alfred is still bustling in the kitchen.

You start to pull out the chair next to Cass, but Barbara startles you.

"That's Dick's chair!" She smiles sympathetically. "Sorry. He's particular. Isn't he, guys?"

"Yes," Cass says. "He's comfortable here."

"I've no idea what you're referring to, Gordon," says Damian. He nods at you. "Hello."

You smile. "Hey, Damian. That's fine. I'll sit next to you, Babs." You sit in the middle of three chairs, with Barbara on your right and an empty chair on your left.

"Hi, Cass. Hello, Mr. Wayne."

"Bruce," he reminds you. That's not happening. It feels way too weird to call him Bruce, even though you've known him since Jason was Robin. Just, no.

Cass smiles. "Hello. Glad to have you."

"Where's Tim and Duke?" you ask.

"Thomas is at university," Damian says. "Drake is probably with that idiot clone he calls a boyfriend."

Bruce looks up. "Tim and Connor are dating?"

"Good God," Barbara mumbles.

"Well, yes, Father. They've been dating for quite some time, even shared a room together. Last month, Drake went undercover in Atlantic City and the clone—"

"Old man! Where are you?"

"Jason, just—"

"Shut it, Dickhead."

The grandfather clock swings open, revealing the Cave entrance. Up stomps Jason, followed by Dick. Jason has a smear of purple goo on his forehead, but otherwise is clean. His back is to you.

Jason points an accusing gloved finger at Bruce. "You owe me a new bike, new guns, new gear, new phone, new—"

"Jason, slow down. Why exactly do I owe you new things?" Bruce asks.

"Because Tweedle-Dum here didn't scan the fuckin' spaceship that landed in Syracuse and melted my bike with purple goo!"

"It said it was empty," Dick says tiredly. "How was I supposed to know an abandoned ship would spit goo?"

"Okay, alright, boys, don't fight. Yes, Jason, I'll compensate everything you lost in Syracuse."

"Yeah, you will. And a new fridge." Jason thinks. "And a new TV."

"Master Jason," Alfred begins, walking into the dining room with a dish of roasted potatoes. "You may continue your bargaining with Master Bruce after dinner. Wipe that alien sludge off your face and have a seat."

Jason sighs. "Alf, I appreciate the invite, but you know I don't dine with most of the folks at this table. Gets real fuckin' crowded."

"Master Jason, watch your language," Alfred says sternly. "We have a guest. Behave like the young man I raised you to be."

Jason scoffs. "Who, Barbie? She doesn't—" He turns and stops, staring at you.

You smile, suddenly self-conscious. "Hi."

He swallows, eyes wide. "Hi. Hey."

"Aren't you staying for dinner?" you ask, confused. "Barbara said you were."

"I—" He glances at Barbara, then looks at you. "Uh. Well. I don't really..."

"C'mon, Jay, you guys should catch up!" Dick says brightly, already seated.

Jason's mouth sours as he turns to Dick. You pull out the chair next to you and tap the seat.

"You can sit next to me," you say, looking up at Jason.

He immediately turns back to you, lips parted. "Oh. I—y-yeah. Sure. Thanks."

"Master Jason. The goo," Alfred reminds, raising a brow. "And hang up your jacket."

Jason quickly backs up and bumps into the table corner. He winces.

"Right. I'm gonna... yeah. Be right back."

Jason disappears down the hall. Dick grins wolfishly at Barbara.

"You're amazing," he says.

"I know," she says, shrugging.

Alfred serves the last tray of vegetables, then sits. Jason soon returns, gloves and jacket away and goo-free.

"Did you style your hair, Todd?" Damian asks.

"No. Shut it." Jason scoots in his chair, glaring at his brother. But when you pass him the tray of roast, his expression softens. He smiles at you.

"Thanks," he says, and puts three slices on his plate. "Great roast, Alf."

"You haven't tried it," Alfred says, but looks very pleased.

"Don't need to."

"We're very glad you're here, Jason," Bruce says. "All things considered—"

Jason holds up a hand. "Ah-ah. I'm not here for you, old man. Save the speech for another day."

"And who are you here for, Jason?" Dick asks, propping his chin on his hands.

"None of your beeswax, Dick."

Dick shrugs. Damian begins to talk about an art project in school. You pay the appropriate amount of attention until Jason nudges your arm.

"Hey," he says, nodding at your empty glass. "Didja get something to drink?"

"Oh." Heat creeps up your neck. "Um, no. Sorry. I didn't know where to get the drinks."

"'S okay. Alf doesn't put out drinks anymore 'cause everybody drinks something different. You just help yourself to whatever's in the fridge. I'll get it for ya."

"Jason, you don't have to—"

He holds up a hand, smiling. "C'mon, none of that. You're a guest. Orange Fanta, right?"

You blink. "You remembered."

"Uh." His cheeks go pink. "I mean, yeah. No biggie. I'll be back."

Jason stands. Immediately, the others pounce.

"Are you going to the kitchen?" Dick asks.

"No," Jason says.

"Can you get me another Diet Coke?"

"Todd, if you're going to the kitchen, I would like another lemonade, please," Damian says.

"I just said I'm not going to the—"

"Master Jason, will you please bring this into the kitchen?" Alfred asks, holding up an empty tray.

Jason heaves a sigh. You wince.

"Sorry," you whisper.

He shakes his head and winks. "Nah, 's not you."

Obediently, Jason takes the tray and goes to the kitchen. He returns with a Diet Coke, which he tosses at Dick, who catches it with one hand, and a bottle of lemonade, which he throws to Damian who also catches it with one hand and a scowl. Finally, Jason opens the Orange Fanta for you and gently pours it into your glass, then sets the half-full can next to your plate. He sits down.

"Of course they get special treatment," Dick mumbles into his drink.

The table rattles, and Dick winces, squinting at Jason. The table rattles again, and Jason hisses.

"Boys," Bruce says wearily. "Enough."

"Yeah, Jason," Dick says, sticking his nose up. "Y'know it's my birthday soon. I deserve a brother who doesn't kick me."

"Oh, I'll tell ya what you deserve," Jason begins.

"Are we doing laser tag?" Cass pipes up from the end.

"'Course we are! Everybody's gonna be there." Dick looks pointedly at Jason. "Except my own brother. He refused."

You look at Jason, who's got a nasty glower aimed at Dick.

"You're not coming?" you ask.

Jason's expression melts away when he turns to you. "Uh, I mean—"

"No, he's not," Dick says, pulling the saddest pout you've ever seen. "He said he wanted nothing to do with my stupid birthday."

"Those weren't my exact words."

"They were very close," Damian says.

"Shut—"

"Jason, I can't believe you aren't going to Dick's birthday," Barbara says, shaking her head.

Jason's mouth falls open. "Et tu, Barbie?"

"You should come," you say, touching Jason's arm.

He immediately looks at your hand. You slowly remove it, smiling sheepishly.

"Then we can be a team," you say. "We're playing doubles. I'm horrendously bad at laser tag, but I bet we'd win together. I'd watch your six."

"Leaving them in the lurch, Jason?" Barbara tuts. "So unlike you."

Jason heaves a sigh. "For God—okay. Alright, brother mine. You win."

You beam. "So you'll come?"

"'Long as you and I are a team," Jason says, a little shy.

You bump his shoulder with yours. "Of course."

Dick looks at you. "You should join us for dinner every night."

You laugh bashfully. "Thanks, Dick."

Dinner goes on. Bruce excuses himself early, as do Cass and Damian. Soon, it's the four of you plus Alfred cleaning up after dinner. You and Jason are loading the dishwasher when Jason hisses. He pulls out his hand, revealing a thin red cut on his palm.

"Are you okay?" you ask, hovering worriedly.

"Yeah, 'm fine. I'll take the tray—"

"Jason, no," Dick says, herding him away from the dishwasher. "You have to get that wrapped immediately."

"What are you—dude, it's a tiny cut—"

"Yeah, but there was food on there, and you have no idea what can get into the wound and make you sick," Barbara says seriously. "You need to get it cleaned right now."

Jason rolls his eyes. "Fine, whatever. There's a first aid kit in the closet."

"There isn't!" Dick says, shooing Jason toward you. "Alfred hasn't restocked it. You have to go to the Cave. You should both go."

"Yes, great idea," Barbara says, looking at you. "You have medical experience, don't you?"

"I mean, a little, but—"

"More than us!" Dick says, shoving you both towards the hallway.

"I don't think so..."

"You take care of Jaybird here, he needs that hand," Dick says cheerily, opening the Cave entrance. "Go on, go."

"Christ on a bike," Jason mumbles, and heads down the stairs.

You follow, confused and concerned. The entrance slides closed. Jason goes to the medbay, muttering under his breath as he digs through one of the drawers with one hand. You join him, searching the top drawer for the antiseptic spray.

"Is the cut really bad?" you ask, trying to get a better look.

"No. My brother's just an idiot. Nothin' new."

You pull out the spray, some gauze, and a bandaid. Jason nods in thanks and goes to take it.

"I can do it," you say. "I do have medical experience, after all."

He snorts. "Fine by me."

You both sit on the edge of a cot. You turn to Jason and pull his hand into your lap. He inhales sharply. You stop.

"Is this okay?" you ask.

"Y-yeah. Fine. Sorry. I don't get touched a lot." Jason's mouth screws up. "Ugh. That sounded weird."

You laugh. "It's fine, I know what you meant."

He scratches the back of his neck while you clean his hand. He has big hands. Bigger than you remember. They're deeply scarred and calloused. You rub your thumbs over the pads of his fingers without thinking.

"You got soft hands," Jason says quietly.

"Heh. Thanks. The computer life."

He hums. "I didn't know you were working with Babs."

The guilt swims back full force.

"I know. I'm sorry. I should've reached out, Jason. I-I basically ignored you. Not on purpose! I just... I guess I wasn't sure where we stood and I thought maybe you'd be mad I was working for Batman after everything and I was afraid that we wouldn't—"

"Hey, whoa. 'M not mad." Jason finds your gaze. You frown. "I'm serious. I don't mind that you're working for Bruce. I mean, hell, I do too, on occasion. Mostly I just bitch at him."

You giggle. He smiles. You're still holding his hand. You don't really want to let go. Jason doesn't seem to want to pull away either.

"Well, even so, I'm sorry for not reaching out. I did miss you, Jason. And I'm glad you're back."

He clears his throat, ducking his head. "Huh. Well, I missed you too. And y'got nothin' to apologize for. I could've asked about you."

"Well—"

"Uh-uh, no, I'm the king of self-deprication. Y'can't take that from me," Jason says, eyes dancing with mirth.

You sigh dramatically. "Fine, fine. Can we say that we both could've reached out?"

"That's agreeable. And, uh, while we're clearing the air, I'm so terribly sorry 'bout my dumbass brother."

You tilt your head. "What do you mean?"

"Ah, huh. Hm. Well, funny thing. I kinda had a, um, crush on you, before. And Dick has it in his head that I... that I have a chance now. So... yeah."

"Before?" you ask.

You don't know why you're disappointed. It's not like you knew. Except maybe if you had, you wouldn't have missed out. Maybe you wouldn't have lost so much time.

Jason glances at you. "What... why are you sayin' it like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you wish... that I..." He shakes his head. "Forget it."

"Jason," you say, barely a whisper.

He looks at you. His eyes flick to your lips, just for a millisecond. "Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

A beat. Your heart falls.

"Yeah." Jason nods. "Yeah, kiss me."

You heart soars.

You hold Jason's face, still holding his hand. He gingerly touches your neck with his uninjured hand, strokes behind your ear with his thumb. Every nerve alights. You're kissing Jason Todd. The boy you've loved since you were thirteen.

"They did it! They're kissing!"

Jason growls against your mouth. You know it's not aimed at you, but it makes lightning shoot down your spine. Wow.

"'M gonna kill 'im," Jason mumbles.

You smile and pull back, just an inch. "It's nearly his birthday. At least wait till next week."

"Hm." Jason kisses the corner of your mouth. You like him so much. "Fine. Y'know you can convince me of pretty much anything? Wield that power carefully."

You wrap your arms around his neck. Jason braces you with a hand on the small of your back.

"I'm very flattered, but I think you're confused, Jay." A kiss to his jaw. "It's you who has a hold on me."

[gaea-a]

Imagine being the mom in the batfam ; part 1

Characters: Richard Grayson , Barbara Gordon , Jason Todd

...

-Taking care of Dick for the first time when he arrived at the mansion.

- Giving him time to adjust to his new life.

- Don't persuade him to call you mom, and instead be a constant support.

- Laughing and playfully teasing him when you find out he likes a girl from his class.

- Meeting Barbara one night and fulfilling your small dream of having a daughter (or at least treat her as such).

- Congratulating Barbara for every little thing she does.

- Being there to calm Dick down when everything becomes overwhelming.

- Congratulating him instead of scolding him when he tells you he's going to Blüdhaven.

- Hearing him call you "mom" before leaving the mansion.

- Designing Batgirl's vigilante suit with Barbara when she excitedly told you she wanted to help your husband.

- Helping her with the doubts she has about her body when she goes through puberty.

- Laughing while you both go shopping because you decided she needed to have fun, and you thought a "girls' day" would be the best solution.

- Going to her high school graduation because Gordon couldn’t make it that day and he asked you to go in his place.

- Hearing her refer to you as her "mom" in front of one of her teachers, only for her to apologize to you afterward, embarrassed.

- Welcoming Jason with open arms when he first arrived at the mansion.

- Laughing at Jason’s jokes and antics, even though Bruce wasn’t too happy about it.

- Hugging Jason warmly when he offered to help you take care of the garden, even though he had school tasks to do.

- Playing “Super Mario Kart” with him because he had never played a video game in his life before.

- Hearing him say "See you, mom!" not knowing that would be the last time you'd see him.

- In general, spoiling your little Jason until he was taken from you.

[temiizpalace]

☆┊DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND..

SUMMARY: little things he does that remind you you’re going to marry him someday.

CHARACTERS: all dorms (-ortho)

GENRE: fluff

WARNINGS: none

reader gender is not mentioned, reader is not mentioned to be yuu

MAKING YOU MEALS

he makes sure you eat RIGHT. no more skipping meals throughout the day on his watch. every lunch he’ll make you a cute little bento box so you don’t have to wait in line. and when i say cute, i mean cute. it doesn’t matter what gender you are your rice balls will have cat ears. dinner? come over to his dorm and he’ll make something for you. don’t feel like it? he’s going to your place and cooking there. breakfast? he makes something quick yet delicious for you. he’s like your own private chef, and you can only imagine what it’d be like to see a ring on his finger someday.

trey, ruggie, azul, jamil, lilia (good luck), silver

CLEANING YOUR ROOM (and everything else)

it doesn’t matter if your room is messy, tidy, or anything in between, every month he’ll make sure it is SPOTLESS. is there dust on your shelves? nuh uh. are there random stains on your floor that you thought were impossible to get out? he’s rushing to your rescue and somehow got the stain out. did you not want to go through your homework? everything is suddenly organized in its respective subject, going from A-Z. you’ve never seen your room so tidy before, it was like an epiphany. please just marry him on the spot, he’s begging.

riddle, deuce, jade, jamil, vil, sebek

LEAVING LITTLE POST-IT NOTES ON YOUR BELONGINGS

without fail, you’ll find a cute little sticky-note on your almost all of your belongings. sure, it gets annoying once in awhile, but reading the sweet message on it changes your mind almost instantly. “you’re going to do great today! stay strong. :)” “don’t forget to drink water! love you 🫶” “can we go out soon? my treat. text me when u see this!” it’s almost frightening to see how much yellow papers you keep inside your desk every time you opening it, but can anyone really blame you? you’re going to keep these til the day you die, and that grand total might be at the very least over 100,000.

ace, deuce, cater, jack, floyd, kalim, epel, rook

RANDOM GIFTS

expect to see a neatly wrapped gift on your doorstep almost every week. seriously. it’s like a delivery service except the company is literally your boyfriend. “dear, did you get me this?” you ask as you enter the room. he looks up from his phone as he looks at the expensive name brand sweatshirt in your hands. “yeah.” he answered so nonchalantly!! like sir!!! this sweater was 1000000 thaumarks!! what!! while you do appreciate the gesture, you feel bad he’s spending so much money on you. he doesn’t care though!! he’ll spoil you rotten til your very last breath.

leona, azul, floyd, kalim, vil, idia, malleus

PREPPING YOU SNACKS

depending on who this is, he may not be some gordon ramsay level chef, but he’s definitely more than happy to cut you a some apple slices while you study. sometimes he’ll come into your room with a backpack full of your favorite snacks just left at the side of your desk so you can reach down and grab the one you want to eat that day. sometimes all you need is an energy boost and he’s more than happy to make some coffee or tea for you if you’re busy. he’ll press a kiss or two on your forehead before placing the plate of beautifully cut fruit down and continuing on with his day and going back to his thoughts. now, what will the theme of your wedding be?

ace, deuce, trey, jade, jack, jamil, epel, malleus

A/N: notice how jamil and deuce are in almost every category. (sorry this one was kinda rushed 😭😭)

date published: 7/30/24

© temiizpalace — do not copy, steal, or put my work into ai. thank you!

[thebibliosphere]

The only thing I need from the BatMuppet story that I didn't get yet is the HIIIIIIII-YA moment where Miss Piggy karate chops Bruce Wayne.

And has no idea the significance of doing so.

Oh, no, no. She doesn't do it to Bruce. She does it to the Joker.

They're at a televised charity gala, making the rounds. All the usual glitz and glam. Miss Piggy has just left to powder her snout when the shooting starts, and cries to "get down on the ground now!" reverberate through the room. It's almost half expected that the night is going to end in a hostage situation. It's Gotham, for Christ's sake. But no one's expecting the Joker. He's supposed to be in Arkham. The Bats just put him there. He shouldn't be out already.

Bruce is stalling for time, trying to give the Boy Wonder and all his other kids time to get to them. He's stammering, hands in the air, offering to pay whatever the Joker wants if he'll let all these people go. Except the Joker doesn't take ransoms. He barely takes prisoners. And he's got a gun aimed squarely at Bruce Wayne's forehead.

But Bruce keeps trying, inching forward on his knees, hands behind his head. Trying to figure out how much he can get away with in a room full of all these fucking cameras. He's going to get shot. He already knows it. It's just a question of whether he can duck and make sure it goes through his shoulder and not his head. Christ, he fucking hates guns.

"Come on," Bruce says, trying his hardest to sound both scared and amenable. "Everyone has a price. Name yours."

The Joker laughs, gesturing grandly with his free hand. "Tell you what, Brucie-boy, you'll get a price when pigs fly!"

The sound of enraged hoofs striking off marble makes itself known. A deep, guttural squeal tears through the night. The kind that hunters of old knew to fear and keep at the end of a long spear. The Joker turns just in time to see Miss Piggy flying through the air. Eyes red. Tusks bared. Hand raised. "HIIIIIII-YA!"

Jim Gordon's outside, preparing to launch a frontal assault, when the news comes in over the radio. He listens, shouldering the radio against his ear as he pulls a cigarette case out of his pocket. "To shreds, you say? What about the henchmen? To shreds, you say..."

[mkarchin713]

Danny just goes with the whole thing and does a “how long will it take Bruce Wayne to realize I’m not his kid” challenge for his blog.

The Wayne kids are all process this turn of evens differently

Steph is enabling the shit out of Danny for the chaos.

Cass is chanting “new brother” under her breath when ever she sees Danny.

Damian is still pissed his father left him at the crime scene and is taking it out on Danny. (“Give my back my knife” “you stabbed me, it’s mine now”)

Tim is just happy Damian has a new toy to chew on that’s not him.

Duke is doing his best to stay out of the line of fire, that you Ghost Vision.

Dick is torn between supporting Damian and mothering the shit out of Danny.

Jason just wants to know why the pits act weird around Danny.

Barbara is filming all of this for black mail posterity

And now #Danny Wayne is trending.

Prompt: on a dare Danny dresses up as a Robin (OC style and it’s a different variation costume every time) and randomly join the bats on their missions or patrols.

The goal is to time it and see how long it takes before the random bat figures him out. After a while he decided to just start getting costumes that are cheap nock offs of the actual heros instead of his mix and match robin set. Sam 100% funs this and Tucker is feeding Danny info to help him blend In

Imagine if Dani joins in so they can be a duo of Robin and Batman. Sometimes Dani gets to be Batman.

[ablobwhowrites]

Do you think detective y/n does anything in particular without knowing to catch the eye of certain heros or villans. Like he has a mini garden and Poison ivy brings over her plant babies to meet his. Or like he likes to do the crossword puzzles in the newspaper and suddenly the riddler starts sending him riddles in the mail

(detective y/n just wants to have a normal hobby.)

Detective y/n can't have any normal hobbies in Gotham. Like if y/n has a art hobby and makes art or does pottery, just know Catwoman is taking his paintings, pottery or anything art related things y/n makes. This goes the same with the penguin but he gets his henchmen to take it. If Bruce finds out then he's getting supplies for y/n and it worries how Bruce knows he has a art hobby.

Gardening is not normal, I tell you want cause y/n always comes to check on his plants and sees more that he didn't put there and think it's just the plants growing more. And now he has a small version of Audrey II from little shop of horrors but instead of wanting to eat people, they spy on y/n for ivy and they are taken care of pretty well. Y/n is afraid of pissing off the sentient plant that likes to eat meat but they do make for a grea buddy to talk to in the mornings.

Riddler loves sending y/n stuff in the mail and he's even more in love than he already is when hearing, y/n likes doing word puzzles or just anything that involves riddles or anything like that. Bro is sending y/n more things and his mailbox is overflowing with letters and things riddler has sent. And oh boy if y/n likes the theater and with clay face use to being a actor, more or less shows y/n the stuff clay face use to do and their roles in movies and such. (sorry if I'm getting clay face's character wrong but he was a actor but please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) y/n being scared for his live obviously but clayface just kinda ranting on about the glory of being a actor of the arts and the most spectacular roles he played in but obviously Batman comes to save y/n.

If y/n shows interests in studying fish or something then black manta is definitely going to snatch y/n up to take him into his domain. (Manta makes sure that y/n can breath with the oxygen tanks he put on y/n) like manta is definitely not going to trap y/n down in his domain so manta can keep y/n forever.

The heros are as bad as the villains as superman or flash hears that y/n likes to travel. Y/n would be asked what country they'd like to go to and then immediately they would be picked up and carried to the place they wanted to go and let me tell you, when y/n was finally able to stand on their own after bascially being delivered to another country they wanted to see. They did yell a bit at flash or superman (after throwing up from how fast they were going.), they did try to enjoy their time there for a until having to go home the same way they came in (y/n is clinging into flash or superman for dear life when traveling fast in far distances).

The bat family is just as bad. Because Grayson and y/n work together like Gordon and Batman basically, so it's nice to have at least a normal person who would listen to y/n about his hobbies. As y/n does like to read books a lot and even started a good chunk of a collection. But of course, they can't be normal as Grayson would be recommending his favorite books (he's been wanting to yap about the books he reads. But most are murder mysteries or thrillers or something.) Damian likes to be included but manly lures in the shadows keeps tabs on y/n as Damian actually likes being around y/n like a little brother and big brother dynamic. Tim is the same as Damian but more of wanting to show y/n cool shows he watches and wants to have y/n see how cool they are and stuff because Damian doesn't like the shows or movies tim watches, Grayson is always busy and Jason doesn't really care all that much but watches them with tim. But y/n actually does like the shows and stuff so Tim will yap about his favorite characters to y/n and then deep dive on the series. Jason has a whole weapon arsenal and knife collection that he is very proud of and shows to y/n as still basically seeing y/n as a cool friend and wanting to show off his cool collection but Jason also does like reading the books y/n likes as they could talk about it in the future depending on when y/n comes over to the manor again.

Also imagining when Valentines comes around, just detective y/n being kidnapped by joker and Harley to have a romantic dinner but Batman saves y/n (to much of jokers and Harley's dismay) and ended up getting multiple Valentine cards and date requests letters from heros and villains a like. Detective y/n can't have a day off cause duty calls (also I'm planning to have detective y/n start dating someone in the series but I'll keep that secret for later. He's finally getting some love but later, he needs his angst arc to continue till then.)

(That's if for my yap session today but if you want more please don't be shy and request any ideas for stories or y/n ideas. But for now please stay safe and drink water!)