#theyre watching tv but you cant see that

[demadogs]

stranger things season one 2016 was so fucking incredible. it exists as an entirely different entity to me than the rest of the show. you literally just had to be there. to this day nothing has ever come close to the amount of universal love for a fictional story that stranger things first received. ive been chasing this high for eight years.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

[skin-slave]

He had everything they needed to incriminate him planted on him. I mean, planted on him. Sorry. Planted on him. Sorry.

[skitskatdacat63]

I literally can't stop thinking about this sequence of pictures, actually completely brainrotting me

[pilonciillo]

i genuinely don’t know how i’m supposed to act at my age

[happyendingsong]

in some fairness to the kh quotes video he didn't choose what ones would get in the video himself (it was up to community polling entries) BUT i agree some of the takedowns are so nitpicky but gotta clear the brackets somehow i guess....

NO death penalty

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

its so painfully obvious that a lot of these people have genuinely never experienced a better piece of media. it makes me sad fr. like. guy who has only ever seen the dream smp "getting a lot of dream smp vibes from this" im begging you to please go watch a horror movie from the 80s. go read a goosebumps book or a creepypasta for gods sake .

[petrichor-and-moondust]

NO SERIOUSLY. I MISS THESE. WHAT THE FUCK. WHERE IS MY SECOND DISK OF SPECIAL FEATURES. MY DIRECTORS COMMENTARY. MY THEATRICAL TRAILERS?

if it weren't for special features on DVDs i *genuinely* would not be on the path I am now. Some Studio Ghibli disks have a special feature called "storyboard mode" where the original animatic of the animation is played instead of the finished movie. That's what inspired me to want to be an animator! That's what lit that fire! Kids today are LOSING that! Give us the DVDs back! Give us back Xtra-Vision and Blockbuster and video rental stores!

And you can't even rely on a streaming service for movies because they can be removed at any time. I have my own collection of DVDs because of this fact. I have films you can't get on streaming over here because of whatever the fuck reasons. I have six disks of tobey's spider-man films; 3 film features, 3 special features. I have A Silent Voice. School of Rock. I have Into The Spider-Verse with a director's commentary. I have the Care Bears movie from 1985! KEEP YOUR MEDIA PHYSICAL. That way it can't be taken away for bullshit reasons.

the death of dvds is so fucked. what about bonus features

[just-spacetrash]

🕵️

[allpiesforourown]

Superstar Luo Binghe au. All the directors beg him to be in their movies because his fame will immediately assure success for anything they make. He’s handsome, charming, dedicated, and most of all, extremely talented. He even does his own stunts!! Women love him, and men who say they hate him will still watch his movies so they can figure out how to be more like him. 

The only weird thing about Binghe as an actor is that he refuses to star in romantic films. He won’t kiss anyone, won’t pretend to date someone on screen, won’t even let another actor take over his role for the scenes he doesn’t want to do. His reason? He’s completely loyal to his husband.

Everyone thinks it’s stupid, obviously. You aren’t “cheating” by pretending to love someone else, it’s literally your job! Luo Binghe still refuses and says even he’s not good enough an actor to make anyone believe he could ever love someone other than Yuan-ge.

His fans hate this mysterious Yuan-ge. Because of his (probably insecure and jealous) spouse, all of Binghe’s fangirls cant see him sweep some y/n character off their feet. It’s even worse because they don’t know anything about this guy. Whenever someone asks to see or learn about Binghe’s husband, the star says he’ll never reveal Yuan-ge to the public, because he’s too beautiful and he doesn’t want everyone falling in love with him. 

People kind of run with the idea that obviously this guy must be a total weirdo who Binghe is embarrassed to be seen with. That has to be the explanation, because no matter how perfect someone is, how can they have such a chokehold on THE LUO BINGHE??

Then, one day, years after Luo Binghe’s initial rise to fame…. He goes on a talkshow. With his husband Shen Yuan. 

Obviously EVERYONE tunes in. No one uses TVs anymore bc of the internet, but just for this show, viewer ratings are the highest theyve ever been. Everyone wants to know what the fuss is all about with this guy to have Luo Binghe so down horrible. 

And Shen Yuan isn’t a weirdo. He’s also not some pretty yesman. He makes jokes that make the audience burst into laughter. He’s opinionated, which is really refreshing when every other celebrity stays neutral on every topic to avoid losing fans. He’s polite, but he’s not a pushover. He’s likeable, but he’s not a try-hard about it. Referencing memes makes him an instant hit with the younger generations, and the calm gentle way he talks makes him a hit with the older ones. All of a sudden everyone is going, okay we see why Luo Binghe is obsessed with him. 

Except… while shen yuan was making jokes and charming everyone, Luo Binghe was at his side, pathetically pawing at his husband for attention. The actor keeps whining every two minutes to be reassured yuan-ge still likes him. Whenever Shen Yuan compliments the host, Binghe looks like he’s about to cry. Whenever Luo Binghe jealously wraps his arms around shen Yuan everyone watching just rolls their eyes. Seeing them together people realize… shen yuan is the one that’s out of Luo Binghe’s league.

In just one hour public opinion goes from ‘no one can be worth binghe acting like that for’ to ‘luo binghe is so annoying, let shen yuan talk!!’ 

The next day someone finds shen yuan’s twitter and it blows up. He has his own fan pages now. There’s no pictures of him online other than the footage from the talkshow, so the fan accounts just post that over and over again. Shen yuan retweets a post about him with the caption “i never realized she was holding a plate of corn in this scene” and everyone loses their mind. Everything he says immediately goes viral bc that’s luo binghe’s attic wife.

People start nagging Binghe to post about Shen Yuan bc theyre so attached after his one and only publicized appearance. Binghe is super possessive, but yuan-ge tells him not to worry, so he relents and posts pictures of him and shen yuan on vacation. They’re together, holding hands… but shen yuan’s face and body are blurred out. It’s HORRIFYING. He looks like an eldritch monster bc luo binghe refuses to let anyone look at his yuan-ge in a swim suit, go away you perverts!! His instragram is now just full of pics of shen yuan where his eyes are blacked out so noone else can see how pretty they are. It’s nightmare fuel

Shen Yuan is unfortunately too unbothered to post pictures of himself. Everyone’s tired of Luo Binghe for “hogging shen yuan all to himself” when Shen Yuan is practically an internet celebrity now. 

People go to watch movies and their theatre conversations sound like this:

“Oh, Luo Binghe’s in this one!”

“Who?”

“You know Shen Yuan’s annoying husband?”

“OH THAT GUY..”

[planetary]

25 SHOCKING TRUTHS ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TV SHOWS😱

1. POKEMON - ash is in a coma and the show is he's dreaming

2. RUGRATS - the babies are on drugs

3. edd edd eddy - they died in 1962 (tuberculosis)

4. scoopy doo - theyre on drugs too and the dog cant really talk :(

5. rugrats - angela is in a coma and the show is her dream

6. spongbob - songebob is in a coma and the show is his dream

7. spongebob - spongebob and his friends are the christian hell sins

8. spoinegbob - squidward is heroin?

9. COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG - it was real it was all real none of that was a dream or a nightmare everything you remember is real

10. rugarts - angela is on drugs and all the other ones are dead

11. jimmy neutraon - jimmy is weird because he is gay

12. fairly oddparsnts - timmy is in a coma and the show is his dream

13. spongebob - sandy is taxidermy

14. higgly town heroes - higgly town is all cannibals and they eat other people and thats why they do that . how could they do that..? my heroes..

15. max & ruby - they are bunny rabbits and thast because thrre was. an apocalypse and max is a real human little boy but there was an apocalypse and his parents died and he's with ruby but he got hit on the head with a steel pipe because of the apocalypse so now he's in a coma and the show is his dream

16. disney aladdin movie - the tiger head cave is really really scary

17. danny phantom died - this one really happened they tell you in the theme song and you can see it happen in blood and gorey detail if you watch that one scary episode that only comes on at 3am. does anyone else remember that episode

18. dora the explorer - dora is on crack

19. faaiely odd parents - the fairies are drugs and timmy takes drugs and maybe goes into a coma for this reason and maybe has a dream that they're his magic fairies

20. caillou - hes bald. this theoru explains that cailiu has no hair because he is bald. and perhaps his parents are nice to him because he is bald. this could also explain why he has no hair (because hes bald)

21. courage the cowarsly dog - courage is a dog and he's in a coma and

22. the magic schoolbus - its magic because the bus was on drugs and then it blew up (becasue it was high) and they all went to purgatory and clones took their place

23. tom and jerry - tom should have been allowed to cook and eat that baby chick. and its fucked up that the show didnt allow him to. me and my friends watched it and we were all clapping and cheering for him to cook and eat it and we were so excited but of course the writers pussied out and didnt let him do it

24. finding nemo - that thing in the beginning didnt even happen but the dad made that story up so people would feel bad for him

25. sponegbob - in the latest season patrick says "Ok boomer!" to mermaid man and barancle boy

CHILDHOOD = RUINED 😫

[beansschool]

Yes! Buck's sexuality is so much more than a means to an end, and I'm so genuinely excited to see where they take it from here, Buddie or no Buddie. Especially when Tim, Oliver and ABC all seem genuinely excited to tell this story in a refreshing way and giving us new, positive representation.

No im not “grieving” Buddie, do you know how amazing it is to have queer/bisexual men representation in today’s media? Do you know how important it is for all of the community and the younger people watching this? This is a huge milestone and Buck’s sexuality is valid outside of any type of ship. Today we celebrate.

[eternalera]

i hate when people go "why cant people just be friends :((( why cant we have strong platonic bonds anymore?" to ships

and do you wanna know the reason? like do you really wanna know the reason. okay well here we go ig-

(click read more for an actual analysis of why this doesnt happen)

no one writes strong platonic bonds well anymore.

at least they cant do so without it seeming romantic because of one thing.

shipping and romance.

without a doubt it has taken over our society as a whole and this is for quiet a few reasons, we literally have a holiday about romance, one of the many things moments people experience in high school is taking out their crush to a dance (of course many people take friends and make just as fun if not longer lasting memories), influencers share their lives on the daily, most fans are teens going through puberty so yknow what that means, and hollywood.

the main reason being of course hollywood.

with all of these reasons combined hollywood sees this and basically goes "oh look at all of these opportunities for romance and most importantly drama!!" and then they take it, make a romantic bond, get you attached and then proceed to put you through hell with it getting you addicted to it. but why a romantic bond? why not platonic? because its simple, when tv and stuff started pushing out they wanted to get people heavily attached and they didnt think or care about platonic bonds because why have platonic bonds when you can instantly take it to the much "juicier" step? aka romantic bonds?

now im gonna lump in all of our previous reasons together. its no big surprise that our lives TYPICALLY (most likely not for people on the ace spectrum) are heavily centered around romance and sex and so in order to relate to the MAJORITY (from what large companies can tell) of people they tend to make that platonic bond romantic to get people swooning over it and thinking 'oh thats what i want in a partner'

so we tend to perceive these actions as romantic when in reality... theyre typically not, not unless youre kissing or actively having sex these actions arent all that romantic. even holding hands isnt really that romantic. ive had several friends who desire no romantic relationship with each other hold hands and jokingly press their faces close together as if they were being 'romantic' with each other. ive in fact shared a bed with my friend a few times and found that yeah... theyre just my friend. these actions are not romantic. so why do we think that they are?

hollywood, from our past memories and "experiences" (experiences in quotations because lets be honest... its just movie watching) we see these actions as romantic because theyve been dont with romantic undertones. for example let me put the absolute stupidest thing thats been romanticized.

giving someone your jacket or umbrella when its raining. especially when its friend.

yes. hollywood was romanticized basic human decency towards someone that you care about. im 90% sure that anyone reasing this would gladly give their jacket to their friend if it was raining and they didnt want them to catch a cold, or if they had an extra layer to just simply give them. OR if they had an umbrella they would share.

because thats what you do for someone that you care for

but in hollywood this was romanticized by the enemies to lovers trope or the rivals to lovers or... whatever you want to call it- it was romanticized and soon enough they began doing it with everything. friends to lovers. (i dont know which trope made it romantic first so dont quote me on this the main point is that they made it romantic when the gesture itself is NOT)

point being, like it or not romance is something that was heavily implemented into your mind as a child and will always be there. and its why we cant perceive friends as 'just friends' anymore or whatever youd like to call it. the implication of past experiences with media will always be there and guess what? suck it up. its always going to be there and theres nothing you can do about it.

so yeah. thats why people cant perceive things as just friends and why strong platonic bonds quite literally cant really be written well anymore. unless of course they shove it down your throat with the constant 'oh youre my best friend!' but even then- oops it was romanticized by hollywood...

so thats my take on the whole situation. personally i think you should just let people ship whatever they want as long as its legal lol

[biohazardousbunnywrites]

got inspired

Be a model for us

bayojeanne x gn!reader

warnings: smut, reader is afab, submissive reader, overstimulation, oral, fingering, massive dildo

summary: your girlfriends come home after a long day of shopping (and fighting angels) and bought things for you to model for them.

You lay on the couch in your shared apartment watching TV. a broadcast on the screen talking about an accident seemingly happening out of no where. This was nothing new to the people of the city but it was always jarring considering no one knew the cause of them, well you did.

Speaking of your girlfriends you wondered when they'd be back from theyre shopping spree. They'd been out all day and you missed them. You didnt like shopping tho, it made you self conscious and uncomfortable especially since they were both so perfect.

You didnt understand what they saw in you, you were just a mere mortal, no where near as elegant and graceful as the two witches.

you sighed turning off the news putting on f/s instead and then going into the kitchen to get something to snack on.

hours later you hear the door open as your girlfriends walk in ladden with bags and boxes from various stores.

"Hello pet" Jeanne said as you helped by taking some bags from each of them, "Thank you, love" Bayonetta says.

you bring them to your shared room, they quickly went to work putting things away while showing off what they got to you. you smiled listening to them talk about where they're going to wear their new items.

all that was left were a few boxes and a little red bag you couldnt see the logo of.

"whats that" you asked motioning to the item, "for you" Bayonetta said smirking, "youre going to model them for us" Jeanne said plopping down next to you on the bed causing it to bounce slightly.

"for me?" you asked incredulously, they cannot be serious "yes" they both said loving the darkening of your skin as you blushed. it got even darker, as you opened the box that was given to you

" you want me to model for you?" you asked looking at what your loves presented to you. "but of course" bayonetta said holding your chin forcing you to look up at her. "put on a little show for us wont you?"

you walked into the connected bathroom knowing they would win whatever argument you tried to get out of it. you stripped to nothing and you looked at the contents of the box, lingerie of course 'they are so horny all the time' you thought with a chuckle and an eye roll.

you put it on feeling a little self conscious about it before stepping out for them to see.

"you look quite fetching in what we picked out for you little one" bayonetta said looking you up and down smirking sinfully.

Jeanne circled around you "quite, we also got you something else to try on" she said as her and bayonetta smirked to eachother.

Before you could react you were pushed to the bed face down, ass up. you raised you head to see Bayonetta pull out a box from the little red bag they had with them. Inside was a new dildo. Bigger than the others they've used and not exactly human shaped either.

"you can stop us at anytime" Bayonetta assured you looking over at your concerned expression. you knew they would never do anything you didnt want them too. You wanted to do this tho if your pussy clenching at the thought of what was going to happen was any indicator of your excitement.

Jeanne gave a smack your ass "getting wet at the thought? just what I'd expect of a slut like you" she sneered moving the lingerie they had you model for them to the side so she can see your pussy clench around nothing at her words.

"oh come now Jeanne, be nice" Bayonetta said walking over "our little toy cant help enjoying being used, filled and fucked, its their purpose" she said running a finger through your wetness lightly teasing your entrance and clit with feather light touches before spitting on your pussy and rubbing it around.

you moaned "please" you pitifully said. another quick spank, "please who?" Jeanne said. you whimpered. "please mommy, please mistress" Both umbran witches hummed in approval over you.

a few more touches increasing in intensity until Bayonetta was fingering you. stretching you out to take the dildo now being held by Jeanne.

once they deemed you were ready, Bayonetta removed her fingers and spread you wide exposing your hole to the both of them. "mmm, such a beautiful pussy, its gonna look so good around this" Bayonetta said "indeed" Jeanne replied.

Jeanne started running the tip of the toy through your folds getting it nice and wet. she played with your clit and teased your entrance. you pushed back wanting it inside. wanting to please them. this time Bayonetta delivered the spank, "patience now little one"

soon you felt it pushing in. the head spreading your lips more, pushing at your hole, it stung as it stretched you out slowly, it was so big. "i-its too big, it wont f-fit" you moaned out, "Ill make it fit, slut" Jeanne said pushing in more.

soon it was all in and were streched out deliciously around it. you whimpered pressing your face into the cool sheets. Jeanne stayed still until you gave the ok to move. Both her and Bayonetta were entranced by how your cunt looked wrapped around this new cock.

When you started rocking back onto it with a whine Bayonetta grabbed your hips to still you. "now, now, love ask for it and take whats given" you whined again at being denied "please, please fuck me, please i-i need it" you whimpered wanting Jeanne to move. To pound you hole.

It seems they took pity on your pathetic cries and Jeanne started fucking the dick into you while Bayonetta started circling your clit. They both quickly brought you to the edge. "i-i-immmm gonna cummmm" you moaned out clenching on the intrusive toy wanting to keep it inside. Jeanne stopped moving causing you to try and rock back onto it but Bayonetta's grip on your ass stopped you. "please, please, please" you chanted over and over.

"such a desperate little whore" Jeanne said pulling the toy all the way to the tip, thrusting it back into slowly. lazily fucking you for a few thrusts, nothing to bring you over the edge.

you whined and whimpered, still chanting out pleases mixed with their titles. this went on for what felt like hours but was only in reality a few minutes.

"oh Jeanne give it to them, look how good they're being for us" bayonetta cooed rubbing your back and ass. Jeanne relented "you're right Cereza, such a good little slut for us indeed" she started moving it faster, squirting more lube onto the toy and your hole so she could slide it in and out without hurting you. once satisfied she begin moving it faster snd faster touching your clit in the process. "AAW FUCK!!" you screamed out as your girlfriend roughly pounded that monster cock into you.

They both cooed at you, Bayonetta slapping your ass before moving you in tandem to the toy pistoning in and out of you, causing tears to fall from your eyes and you to basically scream in pleasure as the 2 rearranged your insides.

They pushed right over the edge, with white hot pleasure causing your vision to blur for a second. you convulsed as you came taking in more of the toy as Jeanne slowed down her thrusts until pulling out once you had calmed. you whimpered at the lose of fullness.

"Aww look at that" Bayonetta said touching your wore out pussy, spreading your lips to see your stretched out hole still clenching and twitching. your pussy now creamy from the rough fucking. She leaned in and licked your slit causing you to jolt and cry out. "sen-sensitive" you breathed out. "Oh I know, I just adore you like this" Bayonetta said and she began to devour you. pushing you on your back and gripping your thighs to keep them open as you desperately tried to close them. you cried out as Cereza worked you over sliding her tongue deeply inside you. she moaned at the taste of you as you babbled incoherently. she finally stopped letting you collapse on the bed when you came.

your lay there boneless and twitching slightly as your girlfriends start cooing and cleaning you up. "such a good little pet" Jeanne said kissing the top of your head gingerly before she helped you into a hoodie as Bayonetta wiped the cum from your thighs gently as to not further stimulate your already overstimulated form. soon enough you were cuddled between the 2 witches as you drifted off into sleep. "you're the perfect model for us" bayonetta said as she played with a strand of your hair as you rest against her collar bone. Jeanne kisses the small expanse of skin at the back of your neck your hoodie doesnt cover.

they truly loved when you modelled for them and were already planning the next thing to get you.

finally im fucking done. you do not understand how long this was in my drafts, i meant to post this last year. i had more ideas but fuck if i remember them its been so long. anyway i hope you enjoyed this more than i did seeing it in my drafts everytime i opened them.

[fruitstopia]

┊❛ 𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦 & ed 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝖺𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗀𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌 ❜┊hcsᵎᵎ

A / N : ( the warrens tv ver ofc x lil!reader - no pronouns mentioned ) sighs lovingly lorraine... she ' s so mama !!! & i can ' t seperate her from ed :((( theyre both caregiver material you cant tell me otherwise!! also tumblr posted rhis b4 i edited it , idk how . . . sk if you ' ve seen me posted this b4 . . . no you havent!!

━━ mama lorraine.. or mommy-! whichever you prefer she doesnt mind :3 is the most gentlest , sweetest , patient & loving mama in da whole wide world!!!!

━━ mama! lorraine loOoves music ~ i could see she and dada! ed have their own collection of vinyls ! after dinner they like to put your favourite one on and mama takes you twirlin' ( not too hard ofc! she doesnt want u to have an upset tummy ) while papa watches nd do da dishes :((

━━ mama! lorraine 's such a great cook ! y ' all barely go out to eat cuz the world ' s best cook is here & she ' s your mama !

━━ mama lorraine who sings you lullabies before bed or whenever youre sad :( having you on her lap as her fingers weaved through your hair , leaning down to u then whisper " oh poor baby , cry it all out darling . . . it ' s okay . . mama ' s here "

━━ mama lorraine often get nightmares about smth bad happenin' to you or papa :'((( everytime that happens she ' d go to your nursery to sit on your rocking chair and watch you breathe , it calms her down .

━━ mama lorraine who keeps a piece of you wherever she goes , on her locket theres a picture of the three of you together & on the bag she usually wears theres a little teddybear keychain you picked out for her , everytime she misses you she ' ll take it in her hand and rub the fabric

━━ mama lorraine often scolds dada! ed for not being able to say no to you , the look she gives him everytime he said yes to you for a toy or more sweets is priceless

━━ dada ed . . . would be such a fun caregiver! the type to chase you around the house or play hide & seek with you

━━ dada ed is wrapped around your finger because he could never say no to those eyes!! could never scold you either it ' s always 'mama said' or 'mama will get mad if you don ' t'

━━ dada ed would often take you in car drives ! lots of trips to burger shacks buying u french fries 'nd ice cream , washing the car together & car - karaoke .

━━ when the car needs fixing he ' ll bring you down to the garage and you ' ll be his lil helper , youre sitting on a stool with a helmet on your head ( dada puts that there for 'just incase' ) & he ' s under the car with a hand reached out " can u hand me the wrench baby " u handed him a power drill " woahhh ! okay that ' s not the one bubs , here let daddy have it . . maybe you should just watch for now , okay? " he proceeds the next two hours explaining to u about every tools in the toolbox

━━ and that ' s how you knew what allen wrenches are for .

━━ y'all know how they like to match with each other on their outifts? like dada ' s tie matches with mama ' s skirt , etc etc - well they like to make you match with them aswell ! i imagined mama! lorraine knows how to sow - she ' ll make you matching scarfs , bows , bonnets , leg warmers & even stuffies !

━━ also both mama & papa are the best storytellers ever , they ' ll go deep into character and mimics the characters for you ! bedtime stories with them would be so much fun !

━━ regarding to what age you regress , when youre smaller mama lorraine likes to take the wheel & put all of her attention on you. while papa ! ed admires with a smile , don ' t get me wrong he loves baby you but he knows caring for you in that age brings mama lots of solace , so he ' ll let her hold you much longer , feeds you herself , let her take her time with u , because he 's happy that she ' s happy

[lakesbian]

Put the Undersiders in a busy airport or train station. How do they handle it? Who gets onto a the wrong flight/train? How many times would Aisha use her power to get into the cockpit or engine room of the train?

oh my GOD how is putting the undersiders in a busy airport or train station not one of the Situations we've put them in yet. this is great. paging @simurghed urgently. everyone please share your undersiders go to busy airport or train station thoughts this is my favorite kind of autism to engage in

brian is like. You know he's being brian about this. you know he's got his schedule printed out and all the tickets pointed out and they're in some little binder and he's making sure he specifically is carrying it the whole time. and the one time lisa casually reminds him to make sure he has xyz necessary item he's like I Have It, Don't Be Neurotic, because his coping mechanism for being nervous and feeling like a woman is questioning his Authority (<- assumed as the main and eternal coping mechanism) is misogyny. love him.

obviously taylor is bringing bugs with her wherever they go and i like to imagine if theyre sitting down in an airport waiting for a really long time and they were in one of the areas where the birds have gotten inside and are nesting + looking for food (that's a universal airport feature right? the birds that got indoors and just live there now?) she might entertain alec and aisha and also herself by flying bugs around 4 the birds and leading them on little hunting excursions and into loops and shit.

aisha takes selfies in the cockpit or engine room (shes posing next to the pilot and making bunny ears behind their head with her fingers) whenever she gets bored and then comes back to show them to alec and brian realizes theres Muffled Laughter happening in their row after aishas been Not There for a while and is like. hmm. that cant be good. and is doing a really bad job of trying to twist himself out of his seat casual-style to find out whats all that then. i can also imagine him insisting on seating himself next to aisha

...three seat plane rows. brian sitting in the middle of aisha and alec and having a wretched time. taylor rachel and lisa lezzing it up in the row in front of them.

i think alec would really enjoy take-off on a plane because Wheee he's all floaty :) and then spend the next however many hours experiencing boredom-induced ego death. possible activities include: fiddling around on his ds. making a little teenager-typical 2011-era flipaclip animation. accidentally falling asleep on brian's arm and starting to snore and drool while aisha is doing the same thing on his other arm. watching a bad movie on his little in-flight tv screen and hopefully trying to engage both brian and aisha in conversation about it because he wants to have friends.

okay i diverged from the point of air Port or train Station sorry. ive never been in a real train station so i have less to speak for there but i think it would be fun to watch the undersiders get crotchety with each other in a long line for overpriced airport food.

imagine if you will brian and taylor trying to fit comfortably in a Nappable Position in the chairs in the flight waiting area. leg cramp city

i think this would all probably be very stressful for rachel :( maybe she andt aylor should hold hands about it. to be safe.

i want to see how lisa tries to make waiting in an airport an enriching and fulfilling activity for taylor so bad. honestly it would probably be no matter what. real bonding experience.

brian laborn tries to carry 9 suitcases at once: and other fun adventures in toxic masculinity

alec vasil has to go pee, right now, for approximately 10-15 minutes, when he's asked to find something in a heavy bag: and other fun adventures in shirking responsibility

aisha laborn's mysterious magical snack manifestation: and other fun adventures in robbing the airport

you know if they were at a busy train station brian would do that thing where he ushers the undersiders around physically and it is fully an indicator of his psychological issues but also it'd be cute. it'd be cute to watch him blocking the crowd so everyone else could move more comfortably and use his Height Advantage to guide everyone most efficiently by pressing on their backs. his psychological issues are endearing

people keep asking about How Much Longer Until Boarding and lisa starts getting bored and providing real-time updates of the Precise amount of time left. if theres a delay she reads out why too

???

its nice. to imagine if they could have a fun time going to locations.