#theyre so so powerful. they could do anything about that power

[allseeingdirt]

me :

me : bloodline magic as an allegory for inherited privilege send post

[triglycercule]

killer being like "yeah i know every single little thing about horror and dust" (because he watches them as a part time hobby (freak) (find something better to do)) and then he acts surprised when they do something that he wouldnt expect them to do in his little predetermined absolutely perfect concept of them

like what do you MEAN horror licks spoons clean when he's using them so he doesn't have to get a completely different one for the main course and the dessert. what do you MEAN dust has a lisp even though he speaks fluently and uses even more complex words than killer himself. horror knows how to sew and he often patches up their things without either of them noticing?? dust always wears oversized and clothes that cover him up just because he finds it comfy?? what??? out ra geous???? these guys have small little quirks to them that killer doesn't already know about???? killer immediately wants to know more. so he can expand his internal profile of them of course. not for any other more endearing and sweet reason. not at all,,,,,,,, (:3)

[orcelito]

ok I don't think we as a fandom talk about the way Vash cries blood enough

we only see it once or twice from what I remember, the one definite time being here ^ when the puppet attack first begins & he's dealing with the emotional agony of seeing so many of his family turn into puppets.

so it's clearly something that comes out only when he's in severe emotional distress.

the interesting thing is that Wolfwood is fucking TERRIFIED of him bc of it.

whatever this moment is, Vash is giving off the same sort of oppressive energy that Wolfwood's experienced with Knives. it's the first time during their travels that he's really been forced to recognize What Vash Is. he knew it of course, saw him in Jeneora, but he's such a goofy guy it's easy to forget.

but whatever Vash is doing here, it makes Wolfwood Incredibly aware of what he is.

so the real question i think is What exactly is going on here? is it unintentional? is it simply a response to the emotional agony?

Vash isn't the type to indiscriminately terrify everyone in the vicinity on purpose. he wouldn't be doing this purposefully out of anger while Wolfwood's there. no, in this moment, he's not even angry at all. he's Distraught.

going from This

to this

in just a moment.

yeah. that's some fucking emotional agony. i dont think Vash is doing this entirely on purpose.

but THEN...

as both Leonof and Wolfwood stare at him in fear, Both feeling his oppressive energy, Vash then lets out some sort of blast that blows against everything between him and Leonof. it doesn't destroy anything, doesn't even injure him, but it's a physically tangible effect that scares the Shit out of Leonof & spurs him into motion.

there may be some anger involved in this moment, but it's not the hair-trigger rage you would expect from seeing his family turned into puppets. it's something Quiet, something almost cold. he's distraught, Resigned, & retaliating just because he has to.

Vash hates all of this. he doesn't want to fight him. he fucking Knows this guy too, knew him as a kid, & none of this makes sense. but he knows that he needs to fight him, & doesn't have any kind of choice.

but he's not happy about it. not in the slightest.

[suffarustuffaru]

arc 8 ottosuba and mutually assured destruction (devotion)

basically i wanna talk about this again but more Specifically bc they are gonna fuck each other over so fucking bad. like this is the most disastrous combo of all time. you got natsuki subaru who has rbd AND a suicide pill in his fucking mouth that he can use at any time AND he will die as many times as it takes to save Anyone he cares about. and then you pair him with otto suwen, aka a devoted little freak whos willing to let entire countries and millions of people, including people subaru cares about, die to save subaru. and otto has died for subaru twice now and will gladly do so again on top of that. they are the absolute worst combo of all time bc natsuki "ill save you no matter how many times i die" subaru and otto "i would let anyone and anything die to save you" suwen are inevitably going to come into conflict. otto wont let subaru die at any cost but subaru having rbd means that hes gonna win no matter what. hes gonna get what he wants. hes gonna die and theres nothing otto can do to stop it. and even if otto does stop subaru, its a lose lose bc either subaru dies and uses the info he got to beat otto next time, or subaru and otto end up having more fights with each other anyway, or otto does end up stopping subaru in some way (example: otto wanting louis to die) and subaru gets pissed at him over it, or all the otto permadeath flags end up being real and otto dies permanently and subarus gonna be destroyed and i bet ottos still gonna be like "i told you we shouldve left vollachia when we had the chance" on his literal deathbed bc him permadying proves his literal point this whole arc. and subaru can save otto all he wants but if otto ever figures out this hurts subaru in any way ottos never going to get over it. hes gonna be upset and pissed forever. there is no winning with these two. their devotion is violent and theyve literally found their match in each other. bc their devotion strips the other person of their own free will and choice in the manner bc they keep saying "no. i have to save you no matter what, even if you get upset at what im doing and even if i do all of this behind your back without ever telling you." and if they keep being stubborn theyre just gonna end up dragging each other down - which is the exact opposite of their goals to save each other. they are likely going to kill each other by the end of this, metaphorically or not. and its going to be because of love. do you understand. how do you save someone who wants to save you first. how do you save someone whos devoted themselves to you, body and soul, in the most violent way possible.

also if otto manages to read the tome once its restored... he's gonna figure out rbd.

[moodr1ng]

ik im being mean and petty again even tho i just said i was gonna have an apple juice and a pastry but i feel so 🙄🙄 whateverrr... when people are like are you struggling with cleaning due to depression? try this trick! and the trick is ALWAYS a variation of "choose a relatively easy cleaning task you can do in 5-10 minutes and then just motivate yourself to do it because 5-10 minutes is fast". like ohh we are NOT operating on the same level of depression lol. you got no idea...

[red-dyed-sarumane]

void (oc) & ryuusei are so funny to me. little trauma man(genderless) gets a celebrity crush of the god of space & spends all of their time making photo edits of said god to post online. we're talking aesthetic filters with sparkles & flower stickers added. said god ends up becoming their best friend & is not only aware of this but finds it really funny & encourages them every time theyre like "maybe i should stop doing this since i know you personally".

[gorillaxyz]

people on death note tiktok are so stupid. i dont like that ship either because its extremely out of character NOT BECAUSE ITS TOXIC????, DIE

[scattered-winter]

category 18 event (thinking too hard about the lions again)

[anotherpapercut]

I'm gonna say something controversial and I don't care what y'all think of me after because a) I'm right and b) it's called a difference of opinion

twenty one pilots first 2 albums (self titled and vessel) were genuinely beautiful works of art and it was honestly really fucking weird that everyone decided they were Problematique because they "made music to profit off mentally ill people" as if they couldn't just be mentally ill people making art for themselves and the people like them. also there's no way you can listen to oh miss believer and not be moved

[timeisacephalopod]

The fact that cigarette companies exist is fucking dystopian and a sign of the failure of capitalism as an ideology- cigarettes are a product that undeniably caused a bunch of different cancers, we've all seen the tobacco death stats on the back of cig cartons smokers have, and yet. And yet, for some reason instead of saying "zero businesses should be selling cancer causing products to their customers, certainly not when those cancer causing products are so dangerous even the smoke of the product causes cancers in the people around smokers. Businesses have zero right to cause a massive health crisis in the population like this when their only function is to make money- you cannot give people cancer for profit."

Like you'd assume giving people cancer for money would be some kind of fucked dystopian novel that'd get ripped on for being way too over the top and unrealistic but no, we literally live in such a morally bankrupt capitalist brain rotted society that we think selling cancer is fine, we won't do anything about a set of companies that exist solely to get customers addicted to their highly dangerous product for profit. Instead we'll act like it's smokers who need to take responsibility for the industry that's exploiting them. Fucking disgusting if you ask me, that we're more okay with companies giving people cancer than we are with governments giving people welfare.

[mbat]

dude it is way too early for this, someone just told me to kill myself over something i literally dont know anything about

[triglycercule]

who made the mtt. and no i dont mean like who made the CONCEPT of the murder time trio (because i know who that is. touken kamui i thank you for the fangame every day :3) but like,,,, who decided to just randomly pair these 3 together?? like whaaaat.......

part of me wants to believe it was rahafwabas with the whole bad sanses group thingy being made with those 3 in there and then like. the fangame just gave them specifically a seperate group name. but STILL,,,,, where did this trio come from

[turnedpalefromlackofsun]

wait

id recognize that accent anywhere

isaac and sari sumdac are--

ok

so i never picked up that knockout was gay and i never picked up that the sumdacs are indian

im gonna be deadass. as a kid i never registered any of this beyond "natural variations in humans" and just never thought about it again

like oh yeah some people talk like that.

oh yeah he flirts with men. some people do that.

[rxmxa]

random (spicy) astro observations 18+

disclaimer: these are based on my experiences & observations ‼️⚠️🙈

ppl that have gemini mars, virgo mars, mercury-pluto, mercury-mars aspects, mercury-lilith aspects and also air signs in the 12th house (libra, gemini, or Aquarius 12th house) could enjoy dirty talk in bed. They love talking you through it or also you hearing say it back. They are the type to say the craziest shit in the heat of the moment.

ok we all know that mercury-pluto aspects like dirty talk (hearing it BUT especially giving it). mercury (talking/conversation) & pluto (the taboo) = freaky ass shit. they want to be talked through it & they wanna talk u through it!! BUT NO FR, I was sitting here wondering what exactly the flavor of the conversation will be based on your mercury sign and where your pluto is. Here r some ideas based on a random chart:

12h Gemini Mercury in opposition to 6h Pluto. Maybe when they're talking you through it, they're saying ALL THE WILD ASS SHITTT they've been keeping in their head, like they could start talking about their fantasies and things that were on their subconscious start to come (LOL) to the surface (12h). "I been thinking about fcking u like this ever since you were teasing me wearing that dress the other day" or things along those lines! Like it could really shake you to your boots with the specific descriptions. And if it's Gemini mercury, the dirty talk could be in the form of questions and very animated or rapid questions back to back in true Gemini fashion, of course. "You like that? you like the way I fuck you?"

But then you have the 6h pluto, so theyre mentioning 6h themes during sex like for example daily life/ routines. they could be talking about how turned on they get everytime they see u do anything mundane, like reading a book or tasting something, how they start imagining your mouth on other things. Or how the other day when u were doing (random daily task) all they were thinking about (redacted).

this all stems from me being nosey and wondering who else is acting a fool in bed too :( I wonder if the sextiles and trines are more natural/ sexier sounding, LOL, and then with squares and oppositions afterward, ur, like, OMG, why did I say that? I have Mercury Square Pluto, and I [redacted]. But honestly, it's not that serious and in the moment it feels hot so who cares 😭

In conclusion, Mercury Sign = HOW they say it, like the mannerisms in their speech. Pluto House = where the scope of their freakiness narrows down. LMFAOOO.

AND ALSO, where their Pluto is, you can also boost their ego. If they have Pluto in the 6th house u tell them about how their body is so attractive, how much it turns you on when they help you and make your life easier, that u wanna show them how thankful u are. or they have pluto in the 9th house and tell them they're so fucking smart, that ur so lucky to be with someone like them that u wanna make the experience worth it and memorable for them, that u will worship them. OR OR Pluto in 1st house, tell them you love how they move through life, how powerful they are, how other people are probably so jealous you have someone like them etc

speaking of mercury in the 12h though, we know that the 12th house rules over hidden aspects of ourselves, like secrets, solitude, and unconscious desires that are not immediately visible or acknowledged in the outside world. So with sextrology, that house can give u sneak peak into their fantasies and even the ones they might be afraid of acting on.

for ex with whole signs: in daily life, taurus rising strives to maintain a balanced and harmonious daily routine (libra 6th house) BUT THENNN with that aries 12th house they fantasize about being able to let loose, to be able to be more assertive and lead in the bedroom, to be able to tell them exactly what to do etc. look at the signs and its energy.

we know ppl with Mars-Uranus aspects are ~eccentric~ in bed, like they're willing to try anything new, like that new position they saw on Twitter or some shit, BUT it's also about spontaneity, like people with this aspect in bed could be like, "Okay, now let's do this" and then randomly b like" OKAY now turn me around and then do this." It's not just about picking one ~spicy new random thing~ to try. It's about keeping up with the randomness throughout it all.

you know what vibes ppl with mars-uranus aspects also give me? The scenes in the movies where they step into the apartment and its quiet for a split second but then theyre knocking shit over and breaking lamps and flipping tables and shit until they get to the bedroom. "Is somebody gonna match my freak?" was about this aspect

moon-mars synastry also gives me the vibe where you give each other the look in the middle of the party 👀👀 and then your like wellp guys we gotta go bye!! and next thing you know you’re.. well I’ll leave it up to your imagination. ORRRR also being late to the party because you were fucking LMAO

Sometimes, the crazy thing about having birth charts of related people is how even preferences can be similar. For example, one of my college friends and her brother asked me to look at their chart. They both have a Mars-Jupiter conjunction and have the same preferences regarding physical features (they're lighter and have light eyes, and they prefer people with darker complexions and darker hair and also people from outside their own culture).

mars-jupiter can manifest in many ways, but that's just one way it does for them. Being drawn (mars) to foreign cultures, dialects, and customs (Jupiter). But then the house highlights a difference; her conjunction is in the 9th house, and she is invested in her religion and spirituality ( 9h topics); it's a turn-on for her to find someone who aligns with her sentiments. He has his conjunction in the 1st house, so looking at 1h topics (body, appearance, identity), his focus could be more on appearance and less on a specific focus. For example, he could meet someone and be attracted to their appearance and confidence in who they are, so they check off their box with their preference and are more flexible with other qualities (such as their religious beliefs or daily routine, etc). But if the conjunction is in the 10th house, it's about focusing on someone career-driven, or in the 4th house and being attracted to someone who is in tune with their family and roots.

It can look differently though, like when ppl with mars-jupiter aspects like someone they can be like "i'm attracted (mars) to your intelligence, to the way you talk about the world, to how you think big (jupiter) "

or ppl with mars-sun aspects can be like "i'm attracted (mars) to your confidence and with the way you take up space and light up every room u walk into (sun)"

mars-uranus: I'm attracted (mars) to your unique tastes and niche hobbies and how you are so different than the other people in my life (uranus)

mars-venus: I'm attracted (mars) to the way you appreciate the finer things in life the way I do, how you look so beautiful when you take charge etc.

mars-neptune: I'm attracted (Mars) to the way you bring a sense of magic and mystery into my life, how you seem to live in a world of your own that’s so spiritual and dreamy (Neptune)

mars-moon: im drawn (Mars) to how safe and emotionally connected I feel with you, how you nurture my feelings and create a comforting space for me to express myself (Moon)

cancer mars in the composite chart will have you fucking like animals honestly. There is a sense of comfort where you want to be as close as possible (aka raw sex, breeding kink, wanting them to cum inside you and them eager to do it as well). This is the couple that after will giggle and talk about baby names or how many kids they’re going to have. Or what there future house will look like. This couple could be very big on aftercare as well or just cuddling and holding each other for a while once they are done. Truly some mom and dad energy right there honestly.

sun conjunct mars synastry can lead to a fast paced relationship. You meet one day and the next two days you might already be in bed together. It can be hot synastry until sun does something, no matter how trivial, that is just going to piss mars the fuck off. Can lead to make up sex though. But then it happens again.

Gemini mars (men) can have much more stamina and last longer in bed. But in the meanwhile they’re going to put you in dozens of different positions before they finally finish.

Mars-Saturn, Capricorn Mars or Mars in the 10th house, or even those with mars at cap degrees such as 10 degrees, 22 degrees placements love when people "play hard to get." They don't mind playing the long game and being patient. They could like bondage or any kind of restraint such as holding the wrists down or arms back.

[jammiesjars]

MDNI

Warnings: Accusation of Infedelity, heavily unedited writing (wrote this in a power outage in my notes app xx), fingering, eating pussy, dirty talk, dumbification if you squint REALLY hard.

One message is all it took for you to spiral.

Outrage was an understatement. A month, a single month, into Price’s deployment you had recieved a message from an unknown number. They insisted of Price having an affair with his so-called ‘receptionist.’ Being his wife, you didnt believe it. You and John had been married for years now. He wasnt that kind of man! (You hoped.)

Weeks passed and wheels start turning. Seeds of doubt had started digging into you. The late nights he had stayed at base before his deployment, only sending as much as a quick text of ‘Be home late. Dont wait up.’ Or the necessary secrecy between what happens at his job or deployment were starting to plant ideas in your head you wouldnt have ever had if not for that message. Youre being worn down, and its killing you. Its not like you could ask him; being thousands of kilometres away without any time to do as much as glance at his phone.

So the emotional resentment grew. You find yourself wondering how he could do this to you, crying in your empty home that housed the both of you not long ago. Before you even come to terms with it, Youve packed your bags and lawyered up, letting your resentment fester for far to long without any outside input.

On the third month of Prices deployment, you drive yourself up to base with one intention; leave the divorce papers on his desk to find when he comes back and to leave without confrontation.

Security on base knows you as ‘Price’s missus’ by now, offering a small wave and a smile as you walk by and into your husbands office. You put the papers on his desk, that frustration and hurt bubbling up all over again. He has your wedding photo framed on his desk and it only hurts more. What did you do to deserve this?

You turn to go, heading back towards his door when you hear muffled laughter and the sounds of gear being unzipped and dumped from down the hallway. Theyre back. You pick up the pace, praying you can slip out before he gets close enough to notice. You reach for the door handle, but the door opens before you can even grasp it.

Shit.

And there he is, your eyes drinking in the sight of the awfully more rugged version of your husband; beard outgrown and messy with tired eyes that light up at the sight of you.

That light dies as soon as sees just how mad you look.

“So youre telling me, one message is all it took to lose all fucking faith?” Price practically growls, fingers rubbing at his temples. Hes sat in his chair with you on the other side of his desk, just as furious. “Everything makes sense! The staying late at base, the short messages and lack of updates when your deployed!” You hiss, frustration bubbling over making anything small seem huge.

Price takes a deep breath, a futile attempt to calm his temper. “The shit I deal with doesnt sleep. Theres reasons i stay back that you will never know, love. The law itself, wont let me tell you. Same goes for messages. Im sorry i dont have the time to let you know im okay when im deployed, god knows i wish I did.” He scowls, his gaze so heated and intense that you almost look away despite your own fury.

“And what about this receptionist huh?”

Your tone has changed, soft and shaky. vunerable.

Price’s expression softens, but he doesnt say a word, simply rounding his desk to pluck you out of your own chair and putting you down in his office chair. He sinks to his knees in front of you, hands rested on your thighs. Blue eyes peer up at you, sickeningly sincere. “Love, I dont interact with her unless necessary. This isnt some romance movie bullshit.” Your heart is working overtime, lips parted as guilt bubbles. “You- you understand where my doubt is coming from, though…right? Everything lined up perfectly, and-“

Price simply tuts. “We’ve talked about that pretty little head of yours overthinking too much, havent we?” You freeze, throat drying. You nod. “Answer me, sweetheart.”

“Yes-“ you croak. “We have.”

Price grunts in approval, his hands now running up and down your thighs.

“Have you been feeling neglected, hm? Is that it? My sweet wife needs some attention?” Price rumbles, his large, calloused hands that have been marked by countless battles now playing with the hem of your skirt.

“You’ve got my attention now, luvie. No need to play these stupid games with me.”

Your mind is already growing hazy; your husbands words making you almost want to forget about this whole incident. A finger hooks onto the waistband of your panties, bringing you back to the moment.

“Stupid games? John i was prepared to divorce you-“ he shushes you, dragging your underwear down your thighs, then your calves and over your shoes before slipping them into his pocket. A cheeky smile graces his face. stupid muttonchops.

“Must’ve left you alone for far too long then, if you were willing to take it this far.”

He slings your legs over his impossibly large shoulders, making you squeak as your pulled forward on the chair.

“Wouldve come home and fucked those stupid thoughts straight out of your head if i had known you were having doubts about my loyalty, sweetheart.”

He presses a messy kiss to your clit, making you gasp. He grumbles something incoherent (“Me? Cheat? Silly girl.”), before licking a long stripe up your neglected cunt, causing your hips to buck. The taste of you after going months without has price groaning into your heat. He eats like a man starved, a mix of desire to prove his loyalty and that he finally gets to taste his wife after being away for so long.

Hes fuming, really. Toward you? No.

Towards whatever stupid bastard sent you that message. He’s glad you didnt notice him slip your phone in his pocket, because he knew you’d be against him hunting the fucker down. You just need a distraction to keep that pretty little head thinking too hard. And he’ll give you just that.

“Oh, my poor sweet wife…” He grunts, before sucking on your clit with a renewed fevor. He pulls off with a lewd pop, two thick fingers replacing his previous ministrations. You’re squirming in his office chair, mind hazy and hips bucking.

“Thinkin’ I was out here cheating on ya’… you know better, love.” He tuts.

His fingers curl so nicely into that spongey spot that makes you see stars. “M sorry-“ you’d slur, “I didnt believe it when I first saw the message I promise-“ you gasp as price presses his thumb against your clit, rubbing in small tight circles.

“Lovie, you stormed in here with divorce papers. Dont tell me you didn’t believe it.”

Your head tilts back as you pant, small gasps slipping past your lips.

“There we go.” Price coaxes, his fingers picking up their pace.

“Wouldnt even cross my mind to look at another woman when my gorgeous girl looks like that as I stuff her cunt full of my fingers.” He coos, watching your face intently as your release crashes down; intense enough to make you writhe and moan.

Price pulls his fingers from you, licking them clean before getting up off his knees. Your throat runs dry, bracing for whats to come even as you grapple your bearings. You’re mentally preparing for Price to be dissapointed, upset with you, maybe even mad.

He analyzes your expression, leaning back against his desk. His eyes scrape over your small form sat in his chair.

“Im not upset, love. That pretty little head of yours had months to overthink that message without a voice of reason.”

Price tilts your chin up.

“Lets just not have to do this again, hm? Then i’ll be mad.”

Its sounds like a threat, but it isnt. Price knows he’ll always be there to talk his beloved wife down from the edge.

[tojisth3rdwife]

BabyDaddyToji didnt react to your positive pregnancy test the way you expected him to. He was surprisingly chill about it despite all of the conversations the two of you had in the past about him not wanting anymore kids. Megumi was school-aged and wasnt nearly as bad as Toji made him out to be but you could understand his standpoint. Kids are a big deal. Theyre expensive. Theyre loud. They smell. They amplify your anxiety to the nth power. So yeah, you got it.

But for someone who didnt want any more kids, Toji wasnt that great at doing things to prevent them. He hated condoms and you understood birth control wasnt 100% effective, but there he was nutting you every night anyway.

So naturally when your period never came and your started to feel strange, your mind went straight to those conversations and how he would react if you were indeed pregnant.

He surprised you though. It was actually him who encouraged you to get a test because he’d noticed the change in you. And when you were sitting on the closed toilet seat, staring at the pee stick in shock with trembling hands, it was him kneeling in front of you with his huge hands resting on your knees.

“Tell me what it says.” he said calmly, his thumb skimming over your skin soothingly. Your jaw clenched and your eyes stung with the flow of tears threatening to coat them. Taking your silence as a response, Toji takes the pregnancy test from you and flips it to see for himself. When he sighs, a knot forms in your stomach and you brace yourself for the worst as his hard expression never changed.

“Toji..I..Im..” you begin, not even sure of what you wanted to say. Your voice shook with emotion, the sound making Toji’s cool green gaze jump from the test to your face. Before you could blubber anything else, the pregnancy test was set aside and Toji’s arms were pulling you from the toilet to join him on the floor. He stumbles back so that he’s seated with you cradled in his lap, rubbing your arm and cupping your cheek. You were crying by now, coherent words impossible as you sobbed into his chest.

“M’s-sorry..” you huffed and Toji furrowed his brow in confusion.

“For what? Im the one that did it..” he chuckled, though you didnt see what was so funny. You pull away just enough to brave a look at him, chin trembling pitifully.

“You…Youre not mad?” You blink, fat tears rolling down your face. Toji sighs at the sight of your sadness, feeling his heart was being squeezed and twisted just from looking at you. His expression remains stoic though, apart from the soft smirk on his lips.

“Nah..” he shakes his head. Your eyes flutter shut as Toji’s thumb rubbed over them to wipe the freshest tears away before continuing.

“Why would you think that, pretty girl? Hmm?”

This wasn’t part of your plan at all. Not that you were the traditional or conservative type but you at least wanted to be further along in your relationship with Toji before something like this happened. It had only been a few years of you being in a relationship, less than a year living together. Megumi was just now getting used to you being a consistent presence in his life and now here you go bringing a baby into the picture, someone else he’d have to tolerate and get used to.

And then there was Toji. He didn’t seem like the type to cut and run out on you over an unplanned pregnancy but would he resent you? Would he treat you differently now that things were about to get even more serious than they were?

Thinking of it all overwhelms you to the point of hysterics, and you hide your face in Toji’s neck to keep from facing the disappointment you just knew you’d find in his eyes.

If only you know how the only concern he had was comforting you.

“I just know this isnt what you wanted…I feel so stupid..” you find the strength to say between maintaining a steady breath, and Toji hugs you tighter. He kisses your forehead and exhales heavily, resting his cheek in your hair.

“It’s all good baby. None of that matters. Im here. Not goin anywhere, I promise.” He assures you, keeping you in his steady embrace until your breathing was no longer shuddered. You’d been quiet for a few minutes before Toji’s deep voice cut through the silence.

“Whew..hormones fucking you up already, huh? Damn…” Toji jokes half heartedly, earning him jab in the abs that he laughs off as he continued to hold and console you.

So boom. There you were. Pregnant af with Toji’s baby.

Much to your relief, Toji didnt change the way he treated you as the weeks passed. He was still sweet , in his own way, and very present. He went with you to the first appointment to confirm everything and make sure you were ok. He held your hand when your blood was drawn and watched the large monitor on the wall with interest when you were probed with the transvaginal ultrasound device.

“And there we are...” the OBGYN mutters distractedly as the probe stalled in a particular position inside of you, showing the small cavity of your womb and the little bitty bean nestled inside of it. Your eyes widen at the wiggly blip and it’s tiny heartbeat, your own starting to kick up in pace. Toji says nothing but he watches your reaction to seeing evidence of life growing inside of you. A life the two of you created.

Damn.

“What the hell...” you exhale, making Toji chuckle.

“Yep! Theres your baby. Id say youre about 9 weeks. Projecting your due date to be around...” the doctor pauses, typing something into the keyboard quickly.

“May 17th.” she finished.

She withdraws the scope and hands you a box of tissues to clean yourself, leaving for a minute to give you some privacy. Once alone with Toji in the small room, you looked to him with mixed emotions clear in your eyes. His expression is as stoic as it usually was but there was a warmth in his gaze that you found comforting.

He smirks.

“Looks like I knocked you up good, huh?” he jokes and you giggle.

“Yeah. It would appear so..”

You sigh as you sit up to get dressed and Toji sits back to watch you wiggle your booty back into your jeans. A magic trick if you asked him. You turn to him as you zipped your fly, uncertainty still clear on your face.

“What you thinking bout over there?” Toji asks, his eyes falling from your face to your trembling hands that worked over the button of your jeans. You exhaled a nervous laugh, shaking your head.

“Im honestly still in shock. Seeing the baby moving didnt bring me the feeling I expected it would..”

“What were you expecting to feel?” your man asks and you shrug solemnly.

“I dont know…Like I’m not making a huge mistake, I guess.” You chuckle humorlessly, blinking to resist that stupid urge to cry.

Toji’s head leans slightly, his eyes panning over you with concern. He sits up in his seat, offering you his hand.

“C’mere , mama..”

The irony of his usual pet name wasn’t lost on you but you were too emotional to be amused by it.

You walk towards him to stand between his legs and his hands come around to rub the backs of your thighs over the denim. He looks up at you with a softness that immediately disarms you, causing the tension in your body to melt away on contact.

“You cant worry about all of that shit right now. This is all gonna feel weird and new and scary but bright side is, you wont be going through any of it alone. Lucky for you, Ive kinda been through this before. Well..not being pregnant but..you get what Im saying..”

“I get it..” You smile at Toji stammering and lift a hand to cup his cheek, sliding it back to tug on his ear affectionately. Toji leans into the touch, grunting softly in reaction.

“Good. I also have some dad experience under my belt. Megumi survived a whole 3 and half years before you came into the picture and you see how he is. So you’re not just dead in the water here, babe. Ive got you.”

The image of Toji struggling with Megumi as an infant on his own comes to mind. You didnt know him then, only having his stories of that time to paint the picture for you. You couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for Toji to cope with the fact that person he thought he’d be spending his life and raising his son with was gone, leaving him to take it on alone. The sleepless nights and tearful days, with very little support since she was all he had.

You never told him, but there was a soft spot in your heart for Toji’s deceased wife, since she was the one who taught him how to love in the first place. And it was her love that lived on in him and Megumi that was allowing you to step in. What a privilege that was, that you didn’t realize until this very moment.

Of course he wasnt going to tell you that he was terrified. Terrified of history repeating itself. Terrified of him not being able to save you. Terrified of fucking up royally and leaving another gaping hole in his chest that he wouldn’t allow anyone else in to fill. He’d never show you his fear when he saw the amount of it you were already battling.

With a soft smile and another squeeze, this time on your ass, Toji pulls you into a hug you wouldn’t dare refuse. His head rests against your chest and he inhales the scent of your perfume.

Youre pulled out of your moment when a few knocks at the door have you both turning to look just as the doctor is peaking her head in.

“You two ready to come back in the exam room for a consult to go over everything?”

You look to Toji and he gives you a wink and a soft pat on the butt before he’s standing.

“Yeah Doc. We’re ready.” he responds before you can, giving you a tiny smile of reassurance as he encouraged you to walk ahead of him.

Part 2