#theyre probably not on tumblr but yknow just in case

[fraternum-momentum]

When I saw car fucker i legit thought its like transformers or sum …. YOU WANNA FUCK LIGHTING MCQUEEN????

WAIT WWAAAAAIT WAIT IAWAIT THIS IS ALL A HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING ALLOW ME TO CLARIFY. I SAID THAT IF HE WERE TO BE A REAL HUMAN GUY HE WOULD BE HOT. I WILL NOT FUCK THE CAR. THERE IS NO CAR FUCKERY HAPPENING HERE.

HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE (literally heh) like listen to this DON'T imagine the fucking car just imagine some cocky blonde guy saying all this:

super quick concept doodle of lightning

[eternalera]

discussing project 2025 and how it will most likely NOT affect ao3

tw: p0rn mentions/discussion

ive seen some news in the past few days about something called project 2025 and how it could result in ao3 being taken down because theyre trying to limit pornography and theyre classifying the lgbtq (or trying to) as part of that content.

people are afraid that because of this ao3 might be taken down as a result but here's why it most likely won't and you don't need to worry to much (but should still be cautious just in case). from my reading of the situation theyre mainly focusing on porn sites, porn hub and things like that. theyre started making it so that you have to enter in your drivers ID to prove that you are above the age of 18 so that kids and stuff dont have access to this content.

of course that itself is going to take a while because its a whole damn website, its not just in the US but it's international in itself. the programming and passing the bill will take an extremely long amount of time.

but this bill (or whatever) also violates things such as freedom of speech. writing is a form of speech and you are allowed to write about whatever the hell you want and no one is able to take that away, whether it be online or in real life and believe it or not writing gay fanfiction is a form of speech. especially if youre creating healthy gay relationships and promoting lgbtq content. the government cant just take that away because they classify it as 'porn' when its clearly not.

thats called censorship, limiting what you see so that they can control what you get fed in media and stuff like that. but not only that but if they were to do this then it would also affect sites like twitter, facebook, discord, pinterest, tumblr, literally ANY website where you can make ANY statement this would affect.

and no one is going through with that lets be honest for a second. because at that point its just controlling the internet and whats put out and what isnt. and no one can do that, at least not in america because guess what? YOU HAVE RIGHTS. and i can NOT stress this enough.

the government is NOT allowed to control what media you get fed and what you create. in fact that cant even reasonably define lgbtq stuff as porn because guess what? it wont work. people will riot, they will find a way, and yknow why? BECAUSE ITS NOT PORN.

then again you must be wondering about the explicit fics on ao3 and to that i say what about the explicit stuff on twitter? the bots on tumblr? hell even youtube.

the government cannot control all of this.

and if they were to even try i guarantee that the silly little website known as ao3 will be one of the first not even top five things that they try to target.

they'll target pornhub, youtube, twitter, literally ANYTHING before they get to ao3. and even if they do im more than certain that ao3 will lawyer up and put together a case about why they should stay in tact.

ACTUALLY if they try doing this in the slightest about ANY website that site is likely to fight back.

so while you should stay cautious i dont think any major panic is necessary. in order to take down ao3 the freedom of speech would need to be taken away in an amendment and that is not happening.

so basically, stay cautious but dont be too worried. and if ao3 does get taken down (which it most likely wont) there will probably be a set date where you can download and save everything before then

[eversplode]

hello rain world tumblr. in my rain world fic, Taking the High Road, i accidentally created a conlang for scavengers. whoopsie.

that is not what im here to discuss, however. see, as a story about a slugcat and a scavenger traveling together, it was inevitable that the slugcat would start trying to learn 'scavengese.'

so i decided "scavs are basically humans so they can make all the sounds humans can, but scugs are like. cats. so they probably cant make all the sounds. how do i do that."

after about 20 seconds of consideration, i decided to try pronouncing my scavengese words without using my tongue, and just writing the sound that i made. it was quick, it was easy, and hey, it definitely wouldn't come up much (lie).

an innocent comment on my fic asking "hey how do you decide what scugs can and cant say" has sent my into a shower thought-fueled speculative biology session to retroactively justify my decisions. so, i'm gonna put that here, because someone will probably find it as interesting as me. anyway.

(tl;dr, click here for some speculative biology on how slugcat language works)

so, let us start with the basis for scug language, which is two facts: one, scugs are, at their core, moist cats which have evolved to the point of developing culture and language, and two, they go "wawawa." why do they go wawawa? because the entire community agreed on it and also I Said So. so how do we build a language around this?

so as we all know, cat language isn't language as we understand it. cats don't use words, they use stuff like purring and hissing and non-verbal cues. so, if cats suddenly constructed their own society like it was a Thing To Do, their language would probably involve those same things. so basically, natural slugcat language involves mostly non-verbal cues and sounds that humans cant make.

so now we come to the second part: why does rivulet go "wawawa" when they "talk" with moon?

well, my theory is that scugs have very immobile tongues and no teeth. bear with me here.

slugs, yknow, the base of slugcats other than cats, dont have tongues. they have a thing called a radula, which as far as i can tell, is basically a tonguelike thing covered in very small teeth. now, correct me if im wrong, but you probably wouldnt want a spiky meat sack flailing around your mouth, like we do with tongues.

also, look at scugs diet. theyre herbivores and insectivores, most of them being unable to eat meat (i imagine centipede flesh is quite soft once you get past the exoskeleton). the only scugs that can eat meat are hunter, artificer, gourmand, and spearmaster. three of these are genetically modified, hunter being specifically created to be a powerful warrior, spearmaster being... spearmaster, and artificer being the only scug with claws and also being able to Spontaneously Explode For Mobility.

gourmand is a special case, being yknow, a gourmand. they can eat meat from lizards and such, however it gives only half the pips of other meat eaters. this says to me that their system isnt built to handle meat, and they can only eat specific parts of these creatures. this is probably true of all slugcats, its just that gourmand has experience is what parts can and cant be eaten, them being the gourmand.

anyway my point here is, slugcats cant eat hard foods. think about what they eat. blue fruit is a bug chrysalis and therefore full of goo, bubble fruit seem to be made of some kind of gel, popcorn is popcorn, slime mold is slime, ect. ect. in the case of gooieducks, scugs have to rip off the hard casing in order to eat them. scugs are made to eat soft foods and liquids. so, they probably dont have teeth. or, if they do, they are affixed to their tongue, and previously discussed.

so why am i discussing scug diets in this post about scug language? well you see, dear reader, if scugs dont have lips, how do they hold their food in their mouth? their lips. and what is the main part of your mouth you use to go "wawawa?" thats right, your lips. scug lips are probably the most easy to use mouthpart they have

so, imagine youre ruffles. moon has been talking to you in her weird ancients language to you, which seems to consist entirely of mouth sounds (no throat sounds or non-verbal cues at all! how strange!) you love moon very much and want to make her happy, so you try to mimick her language. you arent used to using your mouth to speak very much, so what do you do? you just start making a sound and flapping your lips. and what sound does that make?

"wawawa."

and THAT, dear friends, is why scugs go wawawa.

[whumpitisthen]

Okay this is the funniest reason ive heard so far for hating whump lmao cut for long post and also bc i know people dont come here to read bout stupid anti-whump dumbassery i just couldn't not dunk on some fools it was too delicious

Like i could start by saying that whump is literally in every media and is usually called "conflict" or a "villain" or "character development" as that is all whump ever has been and some people simply like that part the best but i cant really bc they're specifically talking about pet whump and conditioning (missing and dismissing the majority of the community who aren't into that) as well as torture in general, and calling the community a cult

Well number one i dont even wanna go into how people seem to be way too comfortable throwing around the word cult so freely while simultaneously talking about disrespecting real abuse victims and conditioning... Like theres layers to how hypocritical that alone is but were not going into that

Number two "were the reason people get tortured irl"?? Bro have you a single braincell, genuinely. That is unironically the funniest shit ive heard yet. Imagine thinking people get hurt bc already unstable individuals took some notes from their favourite torture accounts here on Tumblr and decided to kidnap someone off the street. And not bc, yknow, theyre unstable individuals. You honestly think healthy people would just become horrible for no other reason than reading some torture fiction online. Sweet jesus. "Yea i was just gonna go about my day as normal but i read this one drabble on tumblr about someone treating another person like a dog and now i think I'd like to have a torture basement and kidnap people :)" "hey im a healthy person who hates horror and gore but after reading this one shot on Tumblr i guess ill just have to become horrible and whip someone bloody for no reason!" Do you hear how fucking stupid that sounds

Also side note but where do you think we get our ideas. Like, do you think people couldn't think on their own of ways to hurt someone if they didn't have us. Like if they just didn't read whump they'd just? never beat someone up? if they really wanted to? like it wouldn't even come to mind??? Genuinely curious about the last time you went outside and talked to another person because i guarantee youll find several people who dont regularly read whump and would still like to punch their boss in the face several times or worse unprovoked

So in any case, anon, and everyone reading this. Internet trolls exist. Stupid people exist. Sometimes they overlap, and with their alarming lack of critical thinking skills, they share their opinions about things they don't even really care about. Whump is horror. Its fictional. And its written for many "horrible just awful and wrong" reasons, including, but not limited to:

a healthy coping mechanism for actual abuse survivors (such as our lovely and brave anon right here),

bc your story should probably have some kind of conflict and not just constant fuzz with no problems ever,

maybe you find it hot (ey i dont judge youre valid too),

and bc you think villains are cool.

Horrendous right? We truly are the monsters of this world, cant you see. Look at how evil we are indulging in our completely fictional words on a screen!!!!

Sorry for the people who didn't wanna see negativity today i basically never reblog """discourse""" (if you can even call this that) but this was just hilarious to me i couldn't resist lol especially bc i see everyone taking it so seriously (not that thats a bad thing) while im sitting here giggling to myself in disbelief at how stupid it all is. Sorry if i sound like i dont take it seriously, its bc i dont take it seriously at all and find it comedy gold

any hate anons please come my way and explain why were horrible id genuinely love to hear it (non hate anons who doubt themselves suddenly for liking whump are also welcome any time, id love to chat and make you see how absolutely cringe some of these whump neg opinions are and hopefully make your worries disappear :))

Also anon you are so lovely do not let your love for something be so easily tainted by dumbfucks who dont know what they're talking about, whump (even the most gory, horrible, vile, disgusting smutty conditioned pet noncon whump drabble you can possibly find) is normal and fine and good bc it is fiction and nothing more, as well as natural and born from like minded peoples minds. Do not ever feel guilty for finding safety or happiness in something that literally doesn't even affect anyone but you. I love you.

I saw a post on someone's blog that said when we write torture and pet whump and conditioning that we're the reason real people get tortured...because people have looked to fiction for their ideas on how to torture people before so when we write it for whump it's making us bad people and it can make real people torture others with our ideas. And a couple blogs here reblogged and liked it agreeing and saying whump is a cult, and now I'm feeling guilty about liking whump when I just stopped feeling guilty. I've been through a lot of real abuse and I really like whump but with those people saying it's disrespecting victims I feel like an evil person again.

First of all, anon, please don't feel like that.

You are not evil.

People who write or like horror are not evil.

You feeling like this and reflecting on it like this makes you quite the opposite.

I write about torture and horrible things. I like whump. I do not want to see these things in real life. And I doubt you do.

The world isn't as black and white as some people think.

And you have nothing to feel guilty for.

[movedsomewhereelse]

team rocket gets fucking thrown into hisui au

uhh i don’t use tumblr nor do i know how to use it so i am sorry if this is messy but here are headcanons and whatnot

(put under the “keep reading” thing in case some people don’t like. care about it idk)

• i think they’d get put into hisui inbetween series so the only members that got thrown are jessie, james, meowth, and wobbuffet

• they only remember themselves and each other. they have vague memories that they were on the same team or something and there was this really important boss guy that they feel like they should probably get back to. also yknow how there’s like those ingo things with remembering emmet? i think team rocket would be like that with ash+pikachu but less angsty (or still just as, depends)

• pokemon wise, i like the idea of jessie getting a shinx because she likes it’s personality or something. for james, i think he’d get an eevee, but hey who knows not me

• maybe meowth would convince a random pikachu to join them. because it feels important that they should get a pikachu

• everyone is super freaked out about this talking pokemon that looks like it should be on 2 legs so they don’t really like him at first but then he helps translate and then people start using him to translate and like him and stuff

• they sometimes hum their parts in the motto. like they don’t know the words but they can get the tune

• it’s not a song but i don’t know how else to phrase it

• they hate being part of the survey corps but they do it for the money. gotta get rich somehow and pay for food to eat

• sometimes they’ll discuss memories. they’ll try to figure out and put pieces together (not that it ever works. everytime they think theyre close, there’s one thing that makes it fall apart everytime)

• they hang out with ingo sometimes because they feel like they’ve seen him before, somewhere (whichever series’ this takes place between, it’s up to interpretation but they’ve either fought him like that one time in B/W or on TV or something)

• at some point they get shocked by lord electrode and blast off and while they go james is like “… shouldn’t we be saying something here” and jessie says swears. then wobbuffet does the wobbuffet thing.

• they show up again like 2 minutes later looking fine and everyone is like “wtf.” because that isn’t normal

• why are these random ass people completely fine after getting shocked by LORD ELECTRODE

• melli goes absolutely wild and is torn between being like “DAMN😍” and “DAMN🤬”

• i think it’s funny to think about some child wanting to dress up meowth or something and give him bows and crap. so he looks in a mirror after and gets hit with a horrible wave of deja vu that does not feel good

• yes it’s about meowzie. after a minute it’s back to normal but he is freaked out for a while so ehh

• the horrible deja vu continues when jessie shows this hairstyle that she got and doesn’t think it’s her look but james is bluescreening because that hairstyle reminds him of someone who is really not cool at all (jessebelle)

• jessie never wears it like that again

• now for jessie to experience, there’s that one island in the coastlands where there’s a chansey and while everyone else is like. scared because it’s an alpha pokemon, jessie is like “omg?????? wtf????” and she approaches it. then it attacks her and bam bad deja vu

• i don’t really know how wobbuffet would experience it so have fun imagining that

• i have two thoughts for the ash and pikachu situation- either A. they are in the present or B. they are in the past and i have thoughts about both

• A. the present. i think that ash would go to the next region (or stay in kanto idk whatever you want to imagine) and everything is normal at first

• but then after a bit of time passes it feels like somethings missing but he isn’t sure what

• at some point he randomly mentions team rocket and jessie and james and whatever. but then his companion(s) go “huh??? who are they???”

• it clicks. team rocket has not been around where did they go what

• so ash begins to search because he sure as hell isn’t going to the police about it, because 1, he is a hero, and 2, they would arrest them immediately

• basically he searches for team rocket while no one else does and it’s just shgshs yeah

• and B, where he turns up in hisui too with pikachu

• i would think he remembers everything. so when he sees team rocket he flips out and is like “wtf what are you doing here how did you follow me to the past!!!”

• jessie starts to be like “to protect the w-“ and then stops because. what????

• they don’t remember the motto but it feels like they should be saying it but they don’t know what it is

• they all stand there in silence until ash is like “aren’t you… gonna continue the motto??” and they’re like “what?”

• after a bit of debate ash and pikachu realize they don’t remember and are actually kind of sad now

• hey at least they don’t want pikachu now!!!…. hey what do you mean you have the urge to take pikachu please don’t steal him

• i don’t know it’s an interesting concept that i may expand on later

rhats pretty much it now i think!!! okay bye tumblr i may be back one day maybe not

[asylumdwellermoved]

last post gave me the idea to throw out random character hcs so here i go

♡ i like to exaggerate the aspect of robin being a shut-in in my head a little more. she probably has lost touch with socializing because of it so it makes her nervous. gardening is a hobby shes picked up recently to try to motivate herself to leave her room more often

♡ a weirdly specific one but f sydney and sometimes m sydney wear very red-centric makeup. very subtle when theyre pure, more prominent when corrupt. id like to draw their usual look sometime but in case i dont post it heres my awkward description: red eyeshadow (maybe it evolves to a red undereye byojaku when corrupt), and lips tinted in a gradient, deepest red inner and lightens to outer.

♡ kylar is a he/they but only mentions it to people who they 1: have personally gotten to know and 2: dont bully him (probably just pc and maybe sydney. maybe tried mentioning it to their monster parents but. yknow.)

♡ niki has a former-smoking induced oral fixation and is trying to quit

♡ doren has reading glasses. mgmdnf something something big muscular people with glasses..........

♡ said this like twice on here but whitney is a trans man. i like to imagine that since whitney was so "respected" around school and everyone was so used to him doing whatever he liked (when he wasnt being peer pressured) that people rarely gave him shit for transitioning when he did

♡ can i confidently say that dol fandom mutually agrees that kylar unironically listens to vocaloid nightcore and in every other aspect is the embodiment of an emo weeb middle school phase that was never grown out of or am i just. projecting. also saw a post saying that he is probably a tumblr yandere and it stuck with me ever since

♡ harper's hair is very soft and well-kempt. whether this is natural or something he puts time into is a mystery

♡ sirris probably masturbates in his time between classes every now and then,,, just. in the classroom. kinda has low self control and will do a few things like this without taking the risk of being caught into account very much (i.e. dropped dildo event)

♡ harper has had his own experiences with the wraith prior to when he became a "doctor". it got so bad that the paranoia would eventually keep him up at night and it stuck with him to where hes fixated on using his now-colleagues' scientific abilities to get some sort of clarity. on the note of harper being a former asylum patient, he had experienced a good few of the things he gaslights his own patients about and denies them for both his own sake and some sort of cynical and twisted feeling of "helping" them. but the wraith? that's something he just can't bring himself to ignore.

♡ since kylar usually has sex with pc in public-ish places they usually try their best to keep relatively quiet. the second you and him are in private? loud moaner and constant babbler. prefers this bc it feels amazing to him to express how much he loves you, but their easy desperation for you gets the better of them. (haunted house event)

♡ harper is just a little genderqueer. as a treat.

[transgenderer]

i feel like cancel culture discourse is mostly terrible because it like, doesnt really refer to a single phenomonenon? i think theres basically three things called cancel culture, at three scales: community, vigilante, and celebrity.

community cancel culture occurs among (generally large and decentralized, like on tumblr or twitter) groups of peers. usually its about minor political minutiae, works through callout posts or rumor networks, and generally has social/emotional consequences (rather than material), relating to ostracization, facilitation of abuse, scrupulosity issues, harassment generally a whole host of mental health stuff.

i think this is pretty unambiguously bad, but is hard to avoid, because like, wanting to have communities defined by certain political inclinations is reasonable, and also there are genuinely unacceptable political positions in a community (like, if your group contains a lot of LGBT, nonwhite, jewish, disabled, etc people, its pretty understandable to want it to contain zero literal nazis), and also people will use whatever they can to try to acquire social power

vigilante cancel culture happens when a group of people (often the same groups mentioned before) find somebody online, who has a job unrelated to politics, and decides that because they disagree wit their politics, theyre going to try to ruin their life. this includes harassing them, or in worse cases, trying to get them fired from their job, etc. this is, imo, unambiguously terrible, and essentially just like, communally justified sadism. this is also easy to avoid. dont try to get people fired for their political views, dont harass people.

celebrity cancel culture is the most visible, and the most ambiguous. it takes multiple forms, but i think they form one large phemonemon. the first form is the MeToo movement. this is, in its purest form, i think very good. there are lots of (usually men) people in powerful positions who use this position to cause harm to people they have power over, by sexually harassing them or sexually assaulting them. moving away from a culture of silence about sexual harassment and assault is good.

however, i think this too has failure states. often singular allegations, from unreliable sources or with explicit logical issues in them get passed around and can ruin someones career. one of the most egregious examples of this is the whole mitski allegations, which are it seems totally unfounded. theres also the problem of vague allegations emergining out of rumor networks, causing massive damage to someone's life, and then when the smoke clears it turns out the allegations were fairly minor, if they existed at all. one case of this is nick robinson, who got fired from polygon based on a bunch of vague rumored allegations, only for the eventual reveal to be he...flirted poorly and awkwardly with someone else in the games industry.

the other form is political cancellation of celebrities. this is complicated by the vast spectrum of celebrity in the modern era. this can go from youtubers with a million subscribers to yknow, real actual celebrities who get put in movies. generally these campaigns basically dont touch "real" celebrities, but can have a fairly substantial effect on minor celebrities. theres a wide continuum of outcomes heres. often a minor celebrity wont have their career destroyed, but they will be ceaselessly harassed to the extent it destroys their mental health. theres also the weird case of political creators, who are often not so much cancelled as lose popularity if their political views change, or views that are incongruous with those perceived by their audience are revealed. i think this is the least objectionable case of this kind of political cancellation, which is not to say it cant cause problems, especially when its paired with harassment.

anyway uh. cancel culture. its probably bad "on average" (to the extent you can average out stuff like this, which you cant), but its complicated and subtle.

[colorfulcatnights]

hello tumblr ive never shared any headcanons here before so im kinda nervous and if this messes up i will be sad :'] so uhhh here u go !! just kinda me rambling abt wave 2 bc i cant sleep

i feel like when wave 2 met each other adeleine and ribbon got along with daroach really well. they all wanted to get along with dark too and know more about him but he refused to open up around them and hardly showed any emotion. and sometimes if he showed emotion it would only be annoyance. adeleine thought there was no point in trying to get to know this guy because he clearly wasnt going to talk anytime soon but ribbon and daroach thought dark had some potential. i like to think that one night, daroach is like "wtf is with this guy is something wrong??" and eventually has a "man to man talk" with dark and basically just asks why he wont have any fun and loosen up. dark just replies with something like "theres no point in making friends or having any kind of relationship because we'll just die in the end." bc thats kinda what youre taught in the mirror world since everyone is so fragile and leaves the world so quickly. plus dark would also think that if theyre gonna defeat void (did they even know about void at the time?? idk im too tired lol) theyd need to be on guard at all times, rather than "playing dumb games and fucking around." daroach is kinda sad after the talk because he thought he'd be able to break through darks tough barrier, and he really wanted to see dark be happy and just have fun. their adventure continues on as normal and dark really cant help but envy seeing the others having fun and laughing. hes never had much of a friendship in his life, and the other person hes ever been close to was shadow kirby, who isnt even there. he also thinks about how daroach basically offered to be friends and how he missed the opportunity to befriend everyone and is more or less pissed at himself for that. and also pissed at himself for wanting friends at all. plus the feeling of homesickness was bothering him and he kinda just. stares longingly at the ground with this glazed look in his eyes and adeleine is like "um oh shit is he ok??" and everyone goes and checks up on him and keep asking him questions and stuff and he gets overwhelmed and snaps at them. then after that he just sighs and says he misses his home. and everyone gasps and theyre like "what the fuck he just opened up about his feelings omg" and they were realizing that they were finally getting somewhere. and ribbon instinctively goes up and hugs dark and he remembers how shadow kirby had hugged him and even tho dark would never admit it, the hug was really secure and made him feel more at home in a way, and he was happy. and without realizing it he started purring and the others were like "AAAAAH HE PURRS??? AND HES HAPPY??" and it kinda turns into a big ol group hug and dark gets super flustered but accepts it. after that dark very slowly starts actually interacting with the others and forms special little bonds with the 3 of them. he even at one point quietly laughs at one of their dumb jokes. when they all get to the end of the game dark starts feeling sad and he doesnt know why? daroach probably calls them over for a pep talk before the final battle and they all realize that they *might* not survive this. they say goodbye and thank each other for everything, yknow, just in case. anyways they win the battles over and they all realize, "wow, we're all alive??" and while daroach adeleine and ribbon are laughing and stuff, dark has a lot of emotions bottling up. hes happy hes alive, hes happy his new "friends" are alive. and he thought he'd be happier to know hes going home soon. but hes not, he wants to stay with these guys because for once in his life he feels happy and safe. it took him a long time to realize it but he finally found friends that he loves and cares about :) after a while he says goodbye and goes home with a heavy heart, but feels better when he sees shadow kirby again, and tells the kid about everything that happened, while making himself sound as cool as possible ofc. i like to think that he often goes back to dreamland to see daroach adeleine and ribbon, and even lets s kirby come along sometimes :)

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

[icharchivist]

cries think I made my ask too long so like half of it got deleted bc I typed it right into the askbox. anyways. I come bearing a3 thoughts! at first i was gonna watch the spring/summer and autumn/winter ones and then give my thoughts on both but. turns out i had too many thoughts lol? which i shouldve expected but i actually kind of... got bored by the first two chapters of this event! so i skipped and went to the stranger. and then went back. (1/?)

and then i got to like "tsuzuru and kazunari are having a fight?" and jumped on that like a starving wolf bc helllll yeah! i rly adored kazunari in sardine search, i think he was great! hes just so nice and has good vibes. he and taichi are kind of similar i feel? but i think their respective ages contribute to a lot of difference in their characters. why does it feel like this askbox limit personally wants me dead. (2/?)

anyways! i rly enjoyed the improv scene devolving to a real fight. admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event... it was still good tho. the scene i mean. (3/?)

also i rly liked tenma ragging on them afterwards. like he was mean but. first i adore tenma. second he just felt like. a different meddling type to muku lol? like the vibes he gave me were always like... im going to be a considerate leader and watch out for the ppl under me! therefore im gonna make sure theyre doing fine! aggressively. i think tenmas also just like a friendly person who likes to take care of others in general? like im not saying hes omi or anything but just like. (4/?)

that time he offers his car ride to juza so they can go to school together like hes surprisingly open compared to his initial prickliness. also ive got thoughts abt the tenma juza SSR conversation thing i read. one day ill make a tenma and juza fic and complete a trifecta haha... but thats something for another day! back to the actual story. the way tsuzuru dives right in after kazunari! that was so nice. like its easy to see how much they care abt each other. (5/?)

to the point where like even while theyre fighting theyre like angry but still like fairly quiet bc i think theyre both at least trying to be considerate of each other. ah the moment kazunari didnt respond to tsuzuru trying to talk to him i KNEW he was sick tho. felt proud of myself for calling that one but also the reason i knew is bc i have used the "character being sick during an argument causing them both to make up with each other" trope myself before so uh. like recognizes like haha. (6/?)

anyways the cg there was fuckin beautiful like kazunari looks so sad in the middle bit but then u see his shy smile? like hes sick but hes also like. happy to be there. idk. lovely. i adore kazu i think hes just deeply sweet to other people. tsuzuru telling him "you make everyone around you feel as bright and cheery as the things you design” is so wonderful too (7/?)

now im thinking. ah tsuzuru probably feels quite drained after a script and such (i know i am when i finish any piece--its like the emotions just rush out of me) so i like to think that like yknow. kazunari dropping by his room or whatever helps him set himself back to normal! but also when tsuzurus like oh u left ur magazines here! i suddenly remembered. wait shit kazunari and tsuzuru arent even roommates. wonder how much they bother masumi lmaooo. anyways overall very good story! (8/?)

some more thoughts: itaru and citron were so cute in this event! just like. citron saying itaru winking makes his heart skip a beat and itaru quoting citrons wrong sayings (which. i am also guilty of today i told my brother "we'll jump that bridge when we cross it" so) also i love how yuki is like "thank god i wasnt partnered with that hack" but like. yuki. u could literally just not talk about him. like its so funny to me yuki is like wow i hate tenma but he wont shut up abt him haha (9/?)

i also was a lil taken aback at hearing itaru go "for the lulz" tbh... like it fits him. but im mad it fits him? anywaysss thats all i had for this one! im gonna watch autumn/winter and go say my thoughts on that soon. sorry the ask was so broken up, idk what happened!

OLA FRIEND! Glad to see your thoughts again omg :3c

tho omg the fact tumblr deleted it all + the ask limit was all so evil D: poor friend.

I'm putting my answer under a read more because. Well. *waves hand* it got long.

The non-play events can be perhaps a little harder to get into because unlike the plays events that you start with a clear idea of at least the main plot (re: "they are preparing a play, i know the leads so i know who it will focus on"), non-plays events take a little longer to first set up what event they're participating in, how to prepare for it, and then bring up the conflict and which characters are going to have something to do with said conflict. So i can understand that they're a little harder to get into when we know the plays awaits.

On top of that, the first few events still were a bit tame because since it was early when the app released, i think they didn't go too heavy at once in case some people were still stuck on earlier chapters (esp since especially Winter is hard to unlock)

ANYWAY glad that it sucked you in on the second read :3c

So glad you were invested in that conflict!

Totally agreeing with you about Kazunari, and very good point about Taichi as well! they aren't the Puppy Pair for nothing :'D (Yuki took one look at both of them together and just Knew. His suffering knows no end (lovingly)). But yeah i think they have a lot in common, they both are the really bright and friendly figure, both also started in overcompensating a bit because both wanted to be popular in some ways.

But we do have, on one hand, Kazunari who wanted that rather late in his life while Taichi always thrived for that, the fact Kazunari made friends easily and it's just that he was scared of getting to the next level, while Taichi always struggled with this quest for popularity. In a way too both of them were at least scared to share a part of them, Kazunari worrying to show his thoughts, and Taichi being a spy and all of that... which impacts them really differently considering the guilt it puts on Taichi. And then you add their age into the mix, especially the fact Kazu is the oldest of his troupe and Taichi the youngest of his, it makes them fairly similar all while being fairly different.

both are so interesting to me and i love them bothhh, so it's always nice to see them have focus.

admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event

i love how you are seeing the patterns a3 tends to do it's so neat!

It's true the fight isn't really similar to their actual fight, though i do love that they had "swapped" their personality for the act and ended up insulting each other for theirr swapped personality. Like, Kazunari insulted part of himself in Tsuzuru's character and Tsuzuru did the same?? and then the fight escalated and the way Kazunari broke character hurts bc it's really that Tsuzuru hit where it hurts. But yeah it still wasn't too relevent to their actual fight, though i think the thing is that their fight was as such mostly because they tend to clash often due to their personalities rather than just this singular reason why, so to have the play go more "it's their personalities the problem" kinda hurt lol. But yeah still agreed that it didn't reflect much on the plot itself

I was rereading the improv bit to answer correctly and man since we're going to talk about Tenma next, i just. Love that when Kazunari, breaking character, his eyes sad, tells Tsuzuru "you have no rights talking to me like that..." it then cuts on Tenma being upset. Bc like. Exactly like you say, he wants to look out for the people under him. and like. Kazunari is his friend. A friend he also snapped at once and insulted for being who he was, so he probably could have relived a bit of his fight with Kazunari seeing those two fights; Except that now Kazunari is one of his closest friend and he doesn't like that.

Also like. It was also because he could still hide under the plot of the improv but it's so rare, and it never happened before that point, that Kazunari stands for himself in a "the way you treat me is unfair"? Like again re: his fight with Tenma, when Tenma snapped at him, while Tenma was unfair with him, Kazunari took the blame, called himself annoying and all yaknow?

The fact Kazunari is starting to accept that he can take more place for himself is something the whole Summer Troupe have been trying to help him work on, but especially Tenma. Tenma is always there trying to push Kazunari to say what he means, to express his feelings, to stop hiding.

And for once, Kazunari does that in front of everyone... and it's because he's breaking because of his fight with Tsuzuru.

I think Tenma probably felt it was even more of a reason to get involved like, this is the thing he's been working on with Kazunari about, and now he's being all hurt about it, not on Tenma's watch!

And i totally agree with your take on Tenma! (and would LOVE to read the Tenma and Juza fic once you get to it :3c). I think, Tenma is really caring and is trying to take a place as a caretaker and all, but unlike Omi, he has absolutely no reference for it.

Omi is the eldest of multiple brothers and everything indicates his parents have always been lovely to him. Add to it how he ended up leader of a delinquent crew he was clearly looking after, Omi has a history of taking care of people, of nurturing them, and he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile Tenma grew up on TV sets, mostly surrounded by adults and not by people his age, mostly getting advice from being ordered around by directors i think. And his parents are distant, hyperfocused on their job, not really nursing with him. So Tenma meanwhile really didn't have a family emotional support and was in situation where he couldn't befriend other kids his age. His only reference was probably Igawa (his agent) and i think for a long time he didn't exactly see it, and Igawa remained mostly professional so there was probably the idea of it not being sincere? That Tenma had to grow out of.

So like, they're both extremely nurturing and caring, but my point is that Omi has experiences in it and is at ease with it, while Tenma has been so alone and in places were he had no support system that even if he wants to support others, he still struggles with how to do it because he has no set exemple. And that's his development in the main story arc, to learn from how Izumi shows she cares in order to care back at them all.

Like i mean the way Tenma yelled at them about their mistakes at first feel like he would have picked it up from some directors on TV set yaknow? Probably hearing them say that with no consequences on others actors, seeing it worked, didn't think "that's an abuse of power and the actors probably all think badly of their director for that" but "wow that works", tried it on his troupesmates and realized this is... not how that works. And it's spending time watching how Izumi encourages them that have him fix his way to approach it.

So yeah i got lost too into it but like. I feel you on Tenma i love him so much and i love his development so to see him get pissed and involved there? was really nice. even if he was aggressive about it. He's still learning.

ANYWAY back to Tsuzuru and Kazunari, totally agree with what you say next. They still care a lot about each other and yeah they're at a point where this consideration they have for each other make their anger more quiet than trying to attack one another (Banri could NEVER-). so yeah totally agree with you!

DLKFJDLKF i LOVE the reasoning on "recognizing that Kazunari was sick". Your writer's powers making you see through... *coughs* unlike Tsuzuru....

AND YEAH ALL YOU SAY ABOUT THE CG.. YEAH. Kinda crying thinking about it again now LDKJFLKDJF It's just. Everything about it is so soft and tender. The things Tsuzuru tells Kazunari are soo so sweet sobs. They're just adorable i love those kids. and also i feel you for Kazu he's just that great huh?

The whole set up about Kazu dropping by his room is so so cute! I love it! Like probably the very first time Tsuzuru braces himself because "oh no i'm not in the mood to stand mister hyperenergy himself" but Kazunari quickly adjust his energy so that Tsuzuru can just recharge without being overwhelmed. Yes it would drive Masumi completely nuts. Which i think is a plus for Tsuzuru like, hey, if Masumi gets annoyed once in a while it's a win. But yeah also i think that Tsuzuru and Kazunari should really have the Artistic Soldiarity of Students in Art school Probably Working Until Very Late To Complete Their Projects. Would love if at the end Tsuzuru gave it back yaknow?

but yeah their story was really nice i'm so glad you liked it! :D

oh god yeah Itaru and Citron were SO cute in it too, i also love the comments Citron makes about Itaru's winks. Just there flirting in front of everyone like those two embarrassing friends huh. (probably with Muku being all starry eyes considering he greatly admires both Itaru and Citron and, well, Romance.). And yeah i love how Itaru ends up so much into Citron's rhythm (and this idiom you said? is glorious actually, 10 points for you)

DLKFJDLKF what a call out toward Yuki. "yes i hate Tenma,no i won't shut up about him, also if YOU say you hate Tenma i'm going to stab you with my needles, have a nice fucking day.". I love their dynamics so much aha

And yeah Itaru is there cursing us the whole time with the fact he's the greatest nerd ever and it fits him perfectly. It makes me laugh so hard.

Thank you so much for having shared your thoughts there! it's always a blast to read through them and i dearly enjoyed it! (+ it makes me relive the event a little and it makes me soft!)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So glad you had so many thoughts about all of this, what a blast.

thank you for sharing, and looking forward the Autumn/Winter reactions :3c

Take care!

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

[nowandthenoldfriend]

I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling unwelcome here ☹️ are people being mean to you? bc I’ll kick some ass. There’s no room for that here. I always assumed Twitter was the bitchy site and I’ve been too intimidated to go there myself but if it’s as chill as you say I can’t blame u for wanting to seek that out. Just know you do have a pal over here if u wanna ever talk beatles ... peace and love 😎

i dont think its really a site vs site thing, but just my own personal experience with it i havent seen a lot of fighting on twitter as i have here, so im more inclined to feel welcomed and comfortable on there. as someone who uses twitter and tumblr on rotation, i can say theyre both pretty bad in their own ways its just kind of the nature of social media at this point. i am following mostly lovely ESL peeps across the world who are sharing their fave beatles pictures, making edits and threads, and posting about experiences of being beatles fans across different cultures. its really quite beautiful!

i did get some anon hate in the recent past and turned it off but as you can see i turned it back on, but its startin to make me anxious to open tumblr in case i have messages. this one also made my anxiety shoot up but dkjgnsdf im glad to see its a nice message...

honestly, i will probably still stick around, and just not be posting as much as i have been doing the past couple of weeks. not really a hiatus just yknow, popping in whenever i feel comfortable. may sit down and build a queue back up again so you guys still have some content to go through!

thank u for the kind message anon i also got your other one and my header is one of my fave pics of john 🥺💚

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

[cutmannn]

If that were true then loli/ shota porn wouldn't be fucking EVERYWHERE. Major sites like google, bing, pixiv, tumblr, etc, would have that shit gone and reported instantly. But it's not. And anything that violates US law on 4chan is a bannable offense, yet loli/ shota its still allowed therefore is legal.

ok my full answer is under the cut cause BOY theres a lot of stupidity here ok

im sure that many IF NOT ALL (because yknow ITS ILLEGAL) sites dont fucking allow that shit, they just dont have actual people reviewing shit like that. it becomes the community’s job to report and actually bring this stuff to light because the shitty social media platforms can do their fucking job.

yes, there are some times where social media sites actually do catch the illegal shit, but most times the community has to be the one to step in for that stuff to be taken down.

it also might take too much work for companies to scope out the bad people. (by the companies standards) its hard to dig through thousands and thousands of good users and just try to pull out the bad ones hiding underneath, which is another reason why websites, social media platforms especially, have “report” features. its literally for cases like this where if something harmful goes unnoticed it can be taken off the fucking website. just because these users who post harmful content dont get taken down immediately DOESNT MEAN ITS ALLOWED ON THE SITE.

i know for a damn fact that no site is gonna be all like “hurbudurr its ok to draw underage kids in sexual situations” (obviously thats an exaggeration but yknow)

take Instagram for example, theres plenty of lolicon and fucking MAPS on there who go unnoticed and stay on that platform for long periods of time. that doesnt mean what theyre doing is okay. Instagram LITERALLY an option that is for cp and etc.

and yeah, 4chan doesnt allow that shit either dipshit

(https://www.4chan.org/rules) (an example of just some of 4chans nsfw boards that dont allow cp/lolicon (EVEN to their /b/board))

and, no shocker here, pixiv doesnt allow it either

(link) under the “prohibited works” section

oh, what about tumblr?

(link) this is under the “What tumblr is not for” section

probably EVERY website has a rule like this, im just too tired of your bullshit to find more examples

but like, can you not read or something? did you not even do a second of fucking research before supporting people who harm children?

i literally found all of these with simple searches on google. maybe if you used your brain for something useful and not advocating for child porn then maybe you mightve had a stronger argument here… but youre always gonna be stupid and ignorant about this situation so it wouldnt even matter lol

yknow, im wondering why youre sitting here trying to convince a child that this type of stuff is ok. like why do you care that much about allowing people to draw literal child porn lol like what is fucking wrong with you? youre disgusting and i hate you

[fab912]

I was tagged byyyyyy @blurryfaceimagines! To answer all these questions. Now see, I would have answered them all my phone...but I’m not crazy. So on my laptop it was lolol. Anyways

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag however many people you want

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Coke

2. Phone call: I think my friend RV on discord (I didn’t talk but darn it it was a call lol). If not that then my mom

3. Text message: My friend Kevin

4. Song you listened to: Die Anywhere Else from Night in the Woods

5. Time you cried: Last Tuesday I broke down

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Ive never even dated 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Never kissed anyone either 8. Been cheated on: Can’t be cheated on if I’ve never been involved in anything, eeeeey 9. Lost someone special: Yes/no? I mean it just hurt cause I knew em but I didn’t excessively know em. 10. Been depressed: …ya 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I don’t drink lololol. I’m a pretty boring person

 LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Most blues, green, and a darker red (way to go me lol)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yus! And I’m super thankful for all ya ;w; 16. Fallen out of love: Nah 17. Laughed until you cried: I wanna say yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I mean…if it was at work then I usually hear cause I hear all. Usually it’s just them mentioning me or something. If someone was talking bad about me, I would be like “Ouch…what did you want me to really care further?” 19. Met someone who changed you: I would say so, I think it’s mostly been good tho. 20. Found out who your friends are: I guess?? Kinda? I dunno? 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I am a kiss virgin lol Smooch smooch ;3;

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: The majority of em I’d say. 23. Do you have any pets: While they’re not mine because I don’t pay for anything of em…my family has a parakeet, some fishes, and a dog. I just have to feed em sometimes and care for em. 24. Do you want to change your name: Nah, I’m good with it. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I went to work. The exciting world of me working all the time, rip 26. What time did you wake up: Uh….12:43pm….listen I stayed up for late last night. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching hxh with bahare and the others 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Errrr….I dunno…the day all my loans are payed off? The day I get my own room/own space? The day I get a new computer so I can draw/animate? The day I feel motivated and don’t feel like a burden ;w; 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Yesterday night. She works today 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: That I could stop caring so much about what people think about me and that I could make myself happy. The need for validation. Whoops got too deep there lol 31. What are you listening right now: My meme song playlist on Spotify. So right now it’s Renai Circulation playing lol 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: We talking about Myspace Tom? Neighborhood friend Tom? …lol but yes I have, my 5th grade teacher was named Tom. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: The fact that I both wanna draw and not. Too many ideas and yet when I get in front of my paper…I feel I have to draw what I “owe”….whoops 34. Most visited Website: Probably youtube due to the fact it’s what I watch/listen to at work. Then it might be Tumblr (since discord isn’t a website ;w; )

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: Nope 36. Mark/s: Well I have beauty marks on my face, arms, legs, hands, foot? And I have some freckles on my nose. And a birthmark on my stomach. I also think I may have a birthmark on the back of my right leg? 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be something successful…president or doctor. Then it changed to voice actor, and then an animator. And look where I am now….none of those things lol. But I’m happy for my job, it’s in the art field! :3 38. Haircolor: Dark brown (part of the reason I just color my hair black in my drawings, it’s so much easier lol) 39. Long or short hair: Medium? Right now it’s a bit passed my shoulders, but I may get it cut to shoulder length ish soon. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: I don’t know? Like I legit don’t know. I’m like Jumin Han…like I don’t know feelings of love or affection towards others that is not meant to be friendly lol 41. What do you like about yourself: I don’t really know? I like my kindness? I would like to think I’m kind/nice 42. Piercings: My ears 43. Bloodtype: I don’t actually know 44. Nickname: Well teeechnically ‘Jacky’ is a nickname lol. But I guess Fab is a nickname too. That’s about as far as that goes lol 45. Relationship status: Single 46. Zodiac: Virgo 47. Pronouns: She/her 48. Favorite TV Show: Aw jeez….Steven Universe, Rick and Morty, Miraculous….uh…I’m sure there’s more but I’m suddenly drawing a blank 49. Tattoos: Nope! Although my mom has asked why I don’t get the Zelda triforce or Majora’s Mask. I wouldn’t cause I’m a wimp and kinda don’t want a mark, yknow? 50. Right or left hand: Right! 51. Surgery: See this is the weird thing…cause I think my mom mentioned I may have gotten a small surgery when I was suuuuper little? But I can’t remember the story? 52. Hair dyed in different color: Nope! Once a long time ago I wanted to die my hair a really dark blue. So my hair would shine blue all cool. But then I was like “nah I like my hair I guess” 53. Sport: AhahahaHAHAHAHAHA that would mean exercise. 55. Vacation: Yes plz. I mean…no yeah yes plz. I know it’s asking for a place but I would happy with a few days off of work even if I just stayed home 56. Pair of trainers: Am I that old that I don’t know that word? I can tell ya I only own like 3 pairs of shoes: my Nintendo hightops, a pair of black boots for colder weather, and some brown boot kinda things that are Converse (those are my 707 cosplay shoes, but I wear em sometimes with the pants I used for my Seven cosplay)

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: A peach 58. Drinking: Nothing actually 59. I’m about to: Probably force myself to draw or sketch some of these things gosh darn it 61. Waiting for: My sisters to get back from the store so we can make pasta cause I’m hungry 62. Want: A break (ok ok enough with the breaks and vacations from work lol). I dunno…food? To draw? To talk to people? All of the above!   63. Get married: I dunno. 64. Career: Well the job I have no is a career job I believe. Like I got a job in the industry right after I graduated. So I’m good being in this field tbh.

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: I am veeeeeery awkward with physical contact. So whenever someone hugs me I just kind of freeze up. And kisses, meeeeeeeeeeh? 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes are the window to the soul in my case theyre as black as my soul I mean huh 67. Shorter or taller: Taller, but then again it’s not that hard to find someone taller than me lol 68. Older or younger: I kinda wanna say I prefer people who are closer to my age? As long as they are a bit mature or can be? And by closer to my age I mean like a few years difference in both directions. I feel if they’re closer to my age then we can kinda relate to each other’s problems a bit more 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I don’t care? 71. Sensitive or loud: If they’re a good person I don’t think it should matter? 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I would prefer hesitant but I mean, I can’t control people. So they can be as they are. Like I said, if you’re a good and friendly person then that’s fine by me

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: Noooo 75. Drank hard liquor: I don’t drink at all                                                                         76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I can’t say yeah or no. I usually just misplace em cause I don’t need to wear em. 77. Turned someone down: …yeah…in 2015 I was apparently a magnet? Or something? Cause 3 people told me they liked me in that year and one had asked me out. I turned em all down. They are all good people too but I just didn’t feel it. I felt bad for saying no to all of em, even tho it was super flattering 78. Sex on the first date: Dude, y’all would be lucky to even get a hug on the first date tbh 79. Broken someone’s heart: I mean going back to (77)…I don’t know if I did? I don’t know how much those people actually liked me? 80. Had your heart broken: No 81. Been arrested: Cops can’t catch me lololol 82. Cried when someone died: Yup 83. Fallen for a friend: I don’t know? I think it might infatuation? But I really don’t know? I’m seriously like the beginning of the Jumin Han route, like what are these feelings

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: magic? In a young girls heart lololol 84. Yourself: Sometimes 85. Miracles: Don’t see why not 86. Love at first sight: Eeeeh? 87. Santa Claus: The big red guy? Don’t think so people the easter bunny tho 88. Kiss on the first date: Listen, y’all can do what you want. I will give you a firm handshake or a pat on the shoulder/arm on the first date. If I like ya enough, you may even get a hug

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Aaaaaaaaah…I don’t think I have no? I have friends who are a bit higher on my list but I don’t think I have a best friend? 91. Eyecolor: Super dark brown/almost black like my soul 92. Favorite movie: See I don’t know. But I do love Yellow Submarine a lot!

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As for who I’m tagging? These are a lot. So if any of my mutuals wanna do it so I can learn more about you? If not that’s cool too! ^^