#they're so doomed it hurts

[vmuromuro]

himikochako

sorry guys. this is kinda a rough first post. hi ^^

Have togachako to ruin your soul <3 I've been waiting for this to be animated for so long and I just had to draw smth for the occasion. I love them so much

[lotus-pear]

do you finally see me?

[asarigg]

About: Part 2

DEVELOPMENT OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. PATH TO HEALING: part 2

Despite all this tension and mistrust, the next scene is full of gentleness. Aoba is extremely embarrassed and worried that he vomited on Koujaku, staining his kimono. But despite having such an important goal in mind, and the distance he’s causing by not wanting to involve him, taking care of Aoba right now and carrying him back home is more important. Aoba is so worried about having stained his kimono and Koujaku brushes it off, not only that but also uses his sleeve to clean it up. A kimono that signifies his identity, that is reminiscent of his mother, of her nurturing, something so personal.

I feel that after seeing Koujaku leave, Aoba felt especially vulnerable, those feelings of helplessness and neglect, that jealousness, sharpened by his discomfort after the effect of the drugs. So now it’s not only about Koujaku’s care, but also the warmth and affection placed on him that makes him feel better.

The main reason for Aoba's distrust towards Koujaku happens when he discovers the amount of tattoos and scars he had running through his body. The person he shared unique and intimate things with, only for the two of them, was not only leaving him alone but also hiding something from him, and the tattoos only confirmed it. What could be so serious that Koujaku is hiding it from him? Like we said before, it being solely because of the yakuza is kind of unlikely because he’s friendly with Virus and Trip, and you can’t possibly compare them to the friendship he has with Koujaku. So the shock mostly comes from feeling like his trust and friendship aren’t reciprocated, that he isn’t anyone special to him, that Koujaku is pushing him away and doesn’t want him by his side, he feels betrayed, lonely, rejected. He put all his trust in him, his hero, but it looks like Koujaku doesn’t hold him in high enough regard to confide in him. And so his heart breaks.

If one doesn’t trust, the other can’t either. They’re equals, and one can’t be without the other. But now, in a way, Koujaku is leaving him behind, and it could also remind him of how he left when they were children, of his parents, it’s a devastating feeling. That’s why he dreams about his childhood, a return to his most comforting memories, in which there was no distance or mistrust, in which Koujaku never pushed him away, rather, he was always with him, searching for him.

Alright, this is completely unnecessary in my opinion. It’s something so obvious I’m still surprised to see people reading this the wrong way, so that’s why I decided to include it. It’s something so important and shocking that it’s a shame that it’s interpreted in such a wrong way by either extreme censorship (crazy being a dmmd fan) or simple bias, because it’s been something that happens the twelve years the game has been around that people talk about this scene as if this was something that Koujaku ever wanted to happen or had made this decision on his own. What’s funny is that this is the usual coming from people who don’t like him, but surprisingly enough people that do like him sometimes also agree and then you can’t excuse it with rage bait. I really don’t understand how this can keep happening because one of the main plots of the entire game that moves the characters to act is precisely the brainwashing and mental manipulation that Toue wants to force on people. Each character has some personal relationship with this and it’s so blatant that I didn’t think I would continue to see these kinds of conclusions to this day and age.

It’s raining, Aoba returns to Glitter and a little while later Koujaku arrives too, soaked from head to toe and with a grim face. Although Aoba isn’t sure who he is referring to, because he doesn’t know the danger he entails, we know perfectly well that he’s pissed off because he saw him talking to Ryuuhou. During the conversation Aoba notices he was looking at something behind him, all that happens here goes exactly as the tattoo artist wanted, it’s all part of his plan, of his manipulation. Like we said before, rain is representative of the dragon's influence.

Somehow, what Koujaku is feeling now is the same thing Aoba has been feeling when he saw him leave. Anger, jealousy, disappointment and betrayal. He has seen the person he loves talking to his worst nightmare personified, the person he was looking for with the intention of killing him. His emotions are already unstable, but seeing them together upsets him so much that he’s no longer in full use of his faculties, with the tattoo consuming him, only managing to get angrier and angrier until he throws Aoba to the bed. First thing he does is to bite him, because it’s like he’s marking him as his in some way, like territory. His tattoos take over his body, over his feelings, and externalizes them in the worst way.

He’s becoming more and more irrational. Before he had a serious face, but now he’s getting angrier and angrier. This scene isn’t supposed to be hot (unless you’re into noncon lmao), it’s a scene where they’re pushing their relationship to the edge of a cliff, to a point of no return, these are the consequences and they either act now or they’ll be broken forever. There’s no need to have the full rape package because the point has already been made. It would just be for the sake of making the trauma more painful just for the kink and it just doesn’t fit. Considering how fast the entire story develops, the whole “Aoba forgives Koujaku” arc in order to have a good ending, it would probably feel empty and weightless.

I get the feeling that since Koujaku can still talk here, unlike the bad ending, people see it as if he’s actively controlling his body and just letting his anger peek (at most, he’d be only partially controlling it with the influence of the tattoo, or he’d be seeing it in “third person”, kind of like how Aoba can remember a bit of his life when Sly was controlling their body, but it’s not him). It’s pretty obvious that he’s not listening to Aoba, not only he doesn’t stop until he uses his power, he doesn’t answer his questions about what the hell he was talking about either. He’s not being rational, he just keeps repeating the same thing over and over until he can’t talk anymore. (His tattoo doesn’t need to be mature to do tremendous damage to his loved ones, to be honest no wonder he wanted to kill himself after this lol).

In the confession scene he also mentions that he vaguely remembers touching Aoba in this scene, the translations are actually a bit confusing because some suggest that Koujaku basically says that he liked how it felt even though he felt sorry about it being non-consensual, and others have a more reasonable answer where he says something like “I kind of remember what happened and I could only wish it was different”. I honestly lean towards the second one, because the first translation, which I think is the most popular one, already had several mistakes or slightly confusing translations and this one would be no exception, the implications are different. Honestly, just one more reason why I wished he would just say that he remembered literally making out with him in Scrap because this part only helps people to put the blame directly on him as if he had ever wanted that in the first place.

I need people to understand that the berserk form, beast Koujaku, whatever you wanna call it, is the same to Koujaku as Sly is to Aoba. They are forces of destruction that desire death and violence, with some kind of supernatural focus, beast Koujaku based on pure instinct, and Sly in a more sadistic way, consciously doing harm. You can’t expect any morality from them, and especially not from a beast. When Sly is in control, Aoba still remembers things that happen and vice versa. Koujaku remembering parts of what happens isn’t new and it doesn’t mean he was in control, period. I don’t see people blaming Aoba for what Sly does, so why would he be blamed for this? Even Aoba himself straight up tells you it’s not the same person, it’s impossible to know the tattoo exists and still thinking that this is somehow voluntary.

I’ve also seen people say that for some reason Koujaku fans just ignore this scene, as if we wanted to ignore anything slightly problematic or hinting at this being part of Koujaku’s personality in some shape or form, like we can’t stand the “fact” that he has any hint of malice in him and we don’t acknowledge it because we’re in a bubble dream world and it couldn’t be a worse misreading of the entire character. I can’t believe that it came from someone who liked Koujaku because it feels so disrespectful to him, to his story and who he is, basically all we’ve talked about so far. One thing is to have hcs and the other is to treat it as the canon truth and disrespect others because they don’t share those hcs that are pretty much incompatible with the character. Besides, I’m sorry, what else should we be talking about? They talk like this could happen in any other situation, and no. It wouldn’t because Koujaku didn’t choose this. They truly believe that a character who doesn’t have malice for some reason is a character without flaws or imperfections, and if they like this character it must be because there’s something bad in him that makes him a grey character, so they can keep enjoying their edginess. Got the wrong character, Koujaku’s imperfections and “impurities” are far apart from that selfish facet they wanted to give him. His lack of communication and his self destructive careless attitude of carrying everything on his own, the way he behaves giving less importance to himself and his inability to break the cycle by not relying on someone else are what builds him. If anything, being more selfish is what he needs, to be honest. Bad things can happen even if the intentions are good, it's a good natured character with nuances and flaws, to put it simple. And the good thing about Koujaku and Aoba is just how versatile they are, you can almost go with anything in your fiction and you'll probably find details and nuances about their characters that you can include there so it still feels like them, while separating from the strictly canon and exploring your own ideas.

I've mentioned this before on my Twitter account, long time ago. I personally wish they’d left more time to develop the feelings after this part of Glitter because Aoba immediately leaves and gets drugged by Ryuuhou. Same story, everything in the game happens really fast. With that in mind I think it’s fair to not take it too much into account, like many other things, and just imagine what would happen and that’s it. Because it’s true that they talk about it a bit, but then move on to something else right away and there’s no processing of what happened, the scene doesn’t feel as heavy as it should, like “Well, that just happened”. It’s the ultimate act of betrayal for god’s sake.

Ren recognizing Beni’s wings’ flapping like there aren’t a hundred other bird allmates that do the same sound will never not be iconic, truly an old man yaoi moment.

[cometblaster2070]

i sincerely want some form of like visual media like a movie or a tv show that'll focus on dorothy and ozma's relationship and not in a "wow BFFs forever" way because unlike gelphie which makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and chew glass, they're actually really sweet and cute and I genuinely enjoy reading abut the two of them and how close they are with each other.

also ozma's just an absolute icon in general and I love how she just met dorothy and was like wow I really like you. great!!! you're moving in with me now!!! i will not be listening to anyone on this matter!!!

there was zero hesitation and i love that for her like go girl live your dream get your girl and do whatever you want go make her a princess of oz and let her act as your regent while you're not there and while you're at it let's go and get her entire family to move into your castle because who the fuck is going to try to stop you.

[iwasbored777]

They were looking for an actor who looks like Aubrey Plaza on purpose, Rio was Nicky's father confirmed 😭😭😭

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 7 (pt. 1)

[they read the intro cards, it's quite cringe]

Logan: "You know what the honor is..." (tries to gesture)

Alex, interrupting: "Because nothing says Tour de France like mad stats."

Logan (after waiting): "...You get to spin that wheel."

Alex: 😊😊

i know, i know, i start every episode out with The Bit. and this could be a paragraph almost identical to the last intro because at first it looks same-old, same-old: logan is describing the activity like he's reading his own death sentence, alex still has not learned how to play to the audience, they both brighten up a little bit on the **iconic** line. but there are some differences. the body language. the way alex is once again posing so awkwardly so he can face logan. the way he looks right at logan immediately, and then the laugh just sort of tumbles out of him and he can't even keep his head up, and the way logan turns to him and his eyes track the movement of alex curling in down and towards him and then he uses the card to gesture and bring alex back in as it's time to start the game

i was rewatching this moment listening to their voices and their laughter when the thought came to me suddenly: "it's like they're taking care of each other." and i didn't even know how to elaborate on that more but it just felt so right that i had to keep examining it and now it've got it. the thing is, they're both struggling at this point. a lot. logan for obvious reasons, but alex too, very much so. silly season is hitting williams hard. there's rumors of antonelli, rumors of sainz, rumors of a mid-season replacement. on top of that, checo's contract is at this point being both ridiculed and questioned because of his failure to meet the goals, and what are people benchmarking him against? not max, his teammate, but logan. because logan can now outqualify him. and that's not "oh my god look at how well logan's doing!" it's "oh my god look at how absolutely dogshit checo's doing" (the general discourse, not my opinion). even when the williams upgrades make an actual improvement, nobody notices or cares because everybody else makes bigger improvements. and while williams doesn't have the worst pr situation on the grid, ever since australia they've needed some serious image management and that hasn't been attended to enough. jv is publicly and aggressively courting carlos, making outrageous claims about How Well They're Doing, and the longer the team goes while pretending the logan situation doesn't exist, the more aggravated the fans get. the team isn't doing anything to address the growing tension, and they don't have the on-track performance to do the work for them, so who's left carrying such a huge portion of the entire team's image? alex. he's walking on a wire to avoid falling into the absolute shitstorm of william's pr while still supporting and representing the team that's given him a second chance. he has to juggle being compared to logan and outperforming his car and people saying he deserves better and his team principal's fumbling and knowing he could have all this resentment and bitterness and jealousy from logan and that's not there. and because he's already created this image of sunshiney cutesy cuddly cat dad, he can't afford to have a single moment of visible anger or frustration, even though that's literally how racing drivers just are. so in many ways he's completely trapped in multiple situations and he doesn't know what logan's thinking or what anyone else is thinking and he's overwhelmed.

and logan doesn't have anything. no team support, no chance at another team, no certainty about literally any event in his future from the next few years to the next few weeks. his last few moments with alex are starting to feel like a consolation prize, starting to feel even more painful because of how aware he is of the time running out. and logan can see past the disoriented rambling and the hyperactivity and the media personality, he knows alex is overwhelmed. and it's not something they feel they can talk about with each other because they're scared of hurting each other, of driving a wedge between them when every goodbye feels like the last. but here's logan, unable to feign interest, unable to give the camera anything to work with because he's tired and he's bitter and he just wants to stop owing these people. but alex is there, kind of looking like he forgot they were filming today, and logan can't do much but he can do this. he can make alex laugh. he can remind alex that it's fun to be silly, you can make something silly out of this stupidity, that it's okay and the resentment at the whole thing doesn't need to be there and that they're going to get through this and they're actually going to have fun. he turns all the way into alex and watches his reaction, eyes him up and down, and his smile gets a little sadder and a little more mature as he lets alex half-fold towards him because "logan that isn't even funny how am i laughing every single time". and it's become this sort of ritual for them. it's literally just A Bit but it's their way of stepping all the way out of formula fuckup life and into just this little bubble of each other and a game. "okay, we're going to let this go now. we're going to forget that it's stupid and we don't want to be their social media guinea pigs and we're both being mistreated yet expected to deliver performances like we're not. we're just going to forget that and we're going to have fun with each other and it's going to be nice because we can do it together." and even with everything that's happening, logan is the one who initiates that. he flicks the switch for both of them. and alex's laugh is amusement, yeah, but it's also just relief– the beautiful dissociative relief of leaving everything behind for just a little bit. it's gotten to the point where alex visibly waits on that cue. he looks fidgety and frustrated and out of it and like a kid who got dragged to his mom's book club until logan starts even the beginning of the sentence and then he looks over and the smile starts to flit across his face and then the channel changes. logan's carrying them both over the threshold.

[the question is about average speed]

Logan (such a dumbass annoying smile): "Can I answer in miles per hour? I'm kidding ha ha HAA 😎😎😎" *smacks table* "Ah that's funny..."

Alex:

Alex:

Alex a million years later: 😂

ah, we haven't had one of these in a while. logan being a little shit just to annoy alex. alex being so annoyed and then so endeared he basically short-circuits. that was such a stupid joke and even the way he laughed was like "i just made the STUPIDEST joke >:)" it like has the tone of a dad joke but not even that it's just stupid... and he's the only one who laughs. even though it's obviously forced because that's pretty much part of the joke, it's supposed to be so not funny it actually is funny.

and then logan moves on from that and heads straight into thinking-too-hard-about-this mode and alex is processing on internet explorer speed. he laughs first when logan looks over at him with that stupid shit eating "did you hear that STUPID joke i just made" look and then he does the signature blush and look away (seriously we might have heart-eyes piastri and fuck me-eyes leclerc but what about cast-down eyes albon because he literally cannot hold eye contact when he's flustered which is 80% of the time in logan's presence) and then as logan starts musing about the question alex is like– i swear, he's playing logans expression over again in his head. he's tilted in logan's direction, not looking at anything, and i swear to god he's just remember logan's dumb shit-eating smile and thinking about the joke itself and then suddenly he's laughing. and he doesn't mean to and it even sounds unexpected like it's taking the breath out of him and then he literally has to interrupt himself like, "um! sorry!" because it takes him some time to regain his composure. logan crept out of the shadows just long enough to drop a shit joke and now he's huddled back but that moment is sticking way longer in alex's head than it should. bringing himself back to the game and out of his own head/imagination nearly pains him.

(will continue soon but jeez i had a LOT to say!)

ep 7 pt 2

[blueberry-tenya]

I think this is the general vibe with Noa & Mae's relationship, considering the Shakespeare inspiration all over the reboots

[yakam0z]

actually ... to be honest ... hated everything about this gut-wrenching blood-clogging moment i wish this terror wouldn't live in my head siding with reed is the least fulfilling ending everything feels wrong and like you played right into myers' hands i'd rather have songbird betray me a second time than be responsible for this 😔😔

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

I finally got around to watching the clone wars so here are some Ahsoka and Anakin headcanons that wont leave my brain

They both steal each other's stuff and complain when they catch the other one doing it 

As Anakin’s hair grows longer he finds himself looking for hair wraps or something to push it back 

And he stumbles on Ahsoka's stash he borrows them mostly when she’s off on a mission so she won’t complain 

But she suspects him of doing so cause they’re never in the correct spot he also steals some of her simpler hand wraps when he’s training 

Ahsoka's just as bad tho she’ll steal Anakin’s cloaks and shirts all the time cause for some reason the council failed to give her comfortable clothes  

It all comes to a head when Ahsoka is debriefing the council and Anakin and she stops and goes “Is that my head wrap?” 

The change of topic is so abrupt that no one reacts for a hot second 

And then Anakin goes into full-on defensive mode like “What? No your device must be defective cause this isn’t yours” 

Which Ahsoka calls him out because “Jedi’s don’t lie so just come clean sky guy I know that mine. And are those my kriffing hand wraps?! Take those off you’re gonna mess them up!” 

Anakin is still defending himself and Obi-Wan is stepping in scolding them for using this line for their petty and selfish arguments  

And then Anakin says “Wait snips is that my cloak” “Don’t change the subject just cause you got caught” “No no you can’t talk about getting caught you little hypocrite that’s my cloak!” 

Obi-Wan is still chiming in half-heartedly but he knows better than to stop a full-on argument between those two 

Especially when they’re throwing each other words back at them like “I thought you said I should keep warm” “And I thought you said I need a hair wrap with all this hair” 

The argument only ends cause Windu threatens to hang up the com 

After the debriefing ends Anakin calls Ahsoka back and the argument starts right back up again 

Ahsoka always gets ready with her music playing 

And Anakin in true big brother fashion doesn’t want Ahsoka to know he likes her music so instead he’ll just turn on their version of shazam and stands by the speaker in what he thinks is a normal fashion 

It always goes something like this “Master what are you doing?” “What do you mean snips I’m not doing anything” “Oh so you’re just standing in my doorway with your device on for no reason” “Yep” “Okay when well have fun”

And in bratty little sister fashion she turns off her music and lights and leaves him in the doorway 

Later on she makes a playlist of all his favorite songs and sends a link to it 

All she hears is a grumbled “thank you” from the other room 

Anakin also plays his music out loud sometimes and it took a small amount of time to realize the songs Ahsoka complains about the most are her favorites 

He adds them to their shared playlist and ignores her when she plays those songs more 

Over time they make a lot of joined playlists

Some to work out and train to, some to hype them up before a mission, some to wind down after a mission, some to play when they have nightmares 

It’s something that they both enjoy more than they probably should 

Obi-Wan jokes that some of those playlists will be the death of him 

Ahsoka runs abnormally hot to the point where she could wear shorts in winter and Anakin runs cold enough to be confused for a corpse  

Obi-Wan Padme and Ahsoka all agree that he needs to get checked out cause no way is it healthy to be that cold 

They're both fine in their rooms where Ahsoka can blast the AC and Anakin can turn the heater up as high as he needs 

But the common room is where the bickering happens such as “Jesus snips I didn’t realize we lived on Hoth” or “I’m so sorry master that every room can feel like Mustafar” 

I also know that they both get nightmares like Earth-shaking soul shattering nightmares 

Some where they get abandoned some when they can’t save each other in time and some where they have to kill each other  

Not a lot of words need to be said when Ahsoka wakes Anakin out of a dead sleep with tears in her eyes or when Ahsoka wakes up cause Anakin is checking in on her for the third time that night 

They both just grab as many pillows and blankets as they can carry so they can make the world's best pillow fort 

Obi-Wan has grown accustomed to finding them cuddled up on the floor while the credits of a shitty old movie roll in the background  

When they get older I feel like they unlock the childhood nickname status 

Don't get me wrong snips and sky guy are their normal nicknames and will never go away but those are mostly used when they’re out in public or on the battlefield 

When they’re around people they trust like Obi-Wan and Padme you’ll hear questions like “You good Ani?” or “Be safe Soka”

[the-blossica-fan]

Evil Mercuria, I feel, is... very, very angry. The type to try and stay calm at all times but is quick to anger

Now, Kanjira is very much afraid, and stays some time away, but Matilda is a lot more brave (or stubborn), staying by Mercuria's side (while also musing if this is how she feels secretly...)

After it's over, Mercuria is... the only word to describe her after that was "horrified", and even that doesn't do her justice...

She's quick to be hugged. She may or may not cry 🥺

Oh Lord, angst...

Mercuria is probably not a stranger to impotence and closeted emotions, especially because doesn't express it in a normal way. She's more of moving around and dancing to show her emotions, so an "evil" side of herself would be more vocal about her emotions.

I'd say verbally abusive due to her amplified emotions and anger. I wouldn't say she's calm most of the time, in fact, it's quite hard to get to her in this state. Being clumsy in her movements and awkward in the way her body conveys her emotions.

A very expressive face as well, probably scowling a lot but you can see more clearly how some things affect her.

Kanjira's natural easy going and hyperactive nature tends to clash a lot with Mercuria's now easily emotional state to the point where insults and profanities would get thrown around a lot. For both of them, it was best for Kanjira to stay away.

It hurt Kanjira a lot too, some things were stuff Mercuria found cute but now, in this "evil" state, she found it repulsive. Of course it took a big hit for Kanjira but she couldn't let that show and end up affecting Matilda, who was already too busy trying to meditate with Mercuria.

Speaking of Matilda, poor girl is overwhelmed. Her stubborn self tires Mercuria a lot, some harsh words were exchanged but, as much as I hate to say it, Matilda is quite used to them. She had to get her to calm down, to let others alone and try to get her into different activities to ease her mind. Matilda didn't get enough time to comfort Kanjira, much less try to think of herself.

After the days of mental and emotional torture that this was, Mercuria found some time alone to think of everything she did on the week. It was hard to think of Matilda having to endure those words, or Kanjira who couldn't even get close to Mercuria.

She took her time to gather herself and apologize to both, neither were mad at her, just a bit tired and, well, mentally exhausted, but they didn't blame her at all.

It kind of turned into Matilda comforting the two, Kanjira would cry her heart out while hugging the other two and this would also make Mercuria tear up and cry a lot. Someone had to comfort those two. Thankfully, Matilda is quite strong herself, emotionally and physically, so she could get by with two bodies sleeping on top of her.

[bayofwolves]

i was on the most random nostalgia kick and rewatched the prince of egypt yesterday and let me just say... that movie is truly one of the greatest animated films of all time.

[jaymber]

I've witnessed the Shibuya Incident. The Incident in Shibuya. The Incident specifically happening in Shibuya. That Incident...

Jujutsu Kaisen is now my favorite anime. EVER.

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

'What a strange feeling it was; to look into your eyes and onto the end of the world. In that moment, did you see the same thing?'

>>> Next <<< Previous

(Destiny Bond; a Pokémon fancomic --- pt.1, pt.2, pt.3, pt.4, pt.5, pt.6, pt.7, pt.8, pt.9, pt.10, pt.11, pt.12, pt.13, ???)

[gaytranszoro]

sorry okay im rewatching whole cake w a friend and got obsessed with the vinsmokes this time around okay. sorry. however i am a liker of themes and motifs and doomed characters. sorrey.

[torgawl]

never thought i'd see people try to argue or analyse wriothesley's murder in regards to his personality. i think people are missing the point. the situation has nothing to do with him and has everything to do with an extremely traumatic environment that made a small boy think the only solution so save himself and the people he cared about was to take the life of his abusers. it's not supposed to be rational, it wasn't premeditated, it wasn't about getting away with it. if you read his description of the murder you can see how out of it he was. his goal was to protect himself and his siblings and that's what he did. that's why he admitted to the crime so easily and why he is keen to associate the fortress as a rebirth place. he was just young, lost and traumatised and that's about it when it comes to the extension of it all.

[asitrita]

Over half of my Doffy & Rosi playlist (actually, over 75%) is the exact same as my aph Spain & aph Portugal playlist.