#they're doing numbers in my brain
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tiredassmage · 10 months ago
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the way i keep slowly bg-ifying more swtor ocs and becoming more and more madly in love with them about it
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shoechoe · 7 months ago
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Since I still get (well-intentioned) people telling me "Hey, did you know that you can teach apes to use sign language?", if you don't know already, Koko the gorilla almost certainly couldn't really talk with signing, the videos of her doing so have high evidence of doctoring and behind-the-scenes coaching, the majority of animals in the whole ape language project were abused (including Koko herself), and the studies were butchered and manipulated for media attention. As for now, there is no real evidence that apes can understand and use language much more than a dog can learn to connect symbols and noises with meanings, for example.
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burningfaith · 3 months ago
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next month me and my grandma are going to visit my godfather who lives in Spain, but instead of being excited (it's gonna be my second time abroad in my life) I'm anxious af, because even though I'm an adult I live with my parents and I need to tell my father about it. normal parents would - y'know - be happy that their children have opportunity to visit another country, but instead he's gonna be insufferable about it, because it's my mom's side of family and he despises my uncle. but what is he gonna do? kick me out of the house even though he promised that as long as I'm studying or working I don't need to worry about such thing, humiliate me as usual, tell me that I'm childish and spoiled or make my mom's life a living hell again? I'm aware of the fact that the longer I'm putting it off the worse his reaction is gonna be, but I'm just not mentally able to tell him that, because I don't know how he will react. I don't need any money from him, I don't have to use my phone during this trip (I dunno how the roaming and stuff work), I just want to be sure he's gonna behave like a proper human being towards my mom and my siblings when I won't be at home and not act like a total asshole while talking with me about it.
#i know that at my age i should be more mature and handle such situations better but as long as he's the way he is it's impossible#why can't both my parents be normal#and the fact that i wasn't able to get any summer job this year isn't making it any better because i know it's gonna be one of his argument#(czaicie to że nawet do żabki mnie nie chcieli. dosłownie emotional i brain damage)#'you didn't work so from where do you get the money for that'#don't worry definitely not from you because you can't even pay for my monthly train ticket to college#and at the same time have the audacity to call me dumb for commuting there instead of living in that city#while knowing that neither me nor mom can afford renting anything without your help#(okay i'm a bit exaggerating in my mom's case but she earns much less than him and he still makes problems with literally anything#even buying food even though he's in a very good financial situation and there are times when my mom has to make everything work all alone#because he's getting mad at her out of nowhere and only pays the bills that fortunately aren't that bad in our case)#(and unfortunately the bills include my telephone subscribtion because all of our numbers are in some kind of special offer where you pay#much less for one number when they're registered for one person so it's another problem in this situation because when i offered paying for#mine he refused and probably it'll be his another argument for becoming mad that i dare to spend time with the part of family that cares#about me unlike majority of his relatives)#i hope that at least when academic year starts i'll be able to get any part-time job on the weekends so i can save up more money#although i'm not sure if i'm gonna move out in the nearest future. i mean he's fucking insufferable and toxic but i just can't leave my mom#and especially siblings there even though i can't even fucking protect them from literally anything. at this point i'm just powerless.#there are times when he tries to change for the better but then he starts creating problems on purpose and everything is coming full circle#and the sole thought that my little siblings would tell me that i just ran away from this problem is fucking killing me.#niedziela wieczór i humor niegituwa. zawsze kurwa kurwa coś.#chuj idę słuchać myslovitz#pau.txt
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steakout-05 · 8 months ago
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autistic coded men who have orange cats my beloved
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#star trek tng#star trek#star trek data#garfield#garfield jon#jon arbuckle#jetpack joyride#professor brains#jetpack joyride 2#this is my type. weird silly or otherwise quirky guys who have orange cats#brains being autistic is more just a headcanon i have rather than deliberate coding#but he's been shown to have a few autism-like behaviours and traits across the shorts and jetpack joyride 2#it's kinda stereotypical but he's more of a logical simple thinker and he finds strings of numbers to be easier to remember than names#which i find to be interesting! he just has different thinking patterns from what i've seen in neurotypicals. and it's like.#it's the autism radar. i can always tell when a fictional character seems to be Not Neurotypical because holy shit they act like me-#-or another autistic person i know!#also all these characters are like. different facets of autism and i think that's so interesting#on the left we have highly logical direct and ''idk what to do with my face or my hands help'' sherlock spin autism#and then there's slightly unhinged dorky possible ADHD combo and complete lack of social skills autism#and finally there's the evil autism#and i love all three of them <3#i just realised they're also all sitting in big comfy chairs!#jon's armchair looks so comfy though. like i really wanna sit in there#it's probably slightly dirty and most definitely scratched up by garfield but my god that's what make it more homely and comfy#i wonder how many armchairs jon has gotten over the years. i should count all the instances of him having a differently coloured armchair#anyway yeah. autistic cat dads my beloved <3
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keeps-ache · 7 months ago
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HEY
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#oc#pink space#i really like the subtract glitch i've been doing recently - so here's some of that again lol :3#the way it interacts with their palettes is so fun i like it a lot ehegh :33#//anyway do you ever consider just tossing out any part the human body you've learned to draw and just drawing dumb little guys with arms#like pipecleaners forever or what hfhs#//oh this is was doobled in traditional originally#i need to digitize more of these. Because#though aura's hair was more extreme in the second panel in that version - i'm tired though and 3 days ago it was the same so no feelings to#change that lol :)#also i didn't shrink the noise enough so it didn't look right - and i was not going to reimport it so Bon Voyage my dude hfhs#was Supposed to fit on a 900x900 canvas but i made the panels a liiiiitle bit too big so it's 950x950#which is Fine it's a round number but it's not a Round-Round number so [gesturing]#1000x1000 was way too big for this little thing so she sits at a pleasant halfway point :>#//anyway i was also up til 3 a.m. last night doing ?? something ?? i genuinely don't even know what lmfhsbvh#nice though maybe my brain'll get a reset lol :3#stay up really late some random nights and jumpstart your brain!! it's foolproof!! never fails!! [<- these statements have not been reviewe#by the FDA or the Center for Sleep Control]#//ANywho now i'm going to be on my way#/oh i also forgot to post the oath n aura refs i made for artfight lol-#i'll prolly put those up w/ the kira and hid ones though :>>#i like to have the whole ensemble :D i Do feel bad when one of them gets left out hghsfh - like forgetting a stuffed animal somewhere#even though they're all together for small portion of the story it still feels off lol#i should prolly introduce the rest of the cast at some point. .... ......... ..........hm yea prolly. maybe one day hfhs#//anyway NOW i'm going i've run out of tag space i think hfhs - toodles !! :>
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batsplat · 5 months ago
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Pecco and Pedro are probably the people who more than anyone else want to beat Marc. Pecco because he is forced to do it for a matter of survival, his bet next year is to be able to win against Marc with the same bike. Pedro wants to win the first world championship with Marc in MotoGP, even better if he wins it against him, because of course that’s what he wants. I MotoGP your teammate is your first enemy, as surreal as it is, it would be more likely to see Pecco and Pedro helping each other (which would be unlikely anyway because they aren’t the type of people who do that) than one of them helping their teammate , especially if it's Marc. If anything Marc and Pecco have to be intelligent enough to at least not take each other out Portimao style, because in that case there will be someone behind them ready to bite
so I'm going to jump in right away by saying, I know this ask acknowledges it's unlikely but, yeah, pedro and pecco will not be helping each other in any meaningful sense - because they are both serious challengers to each other and they know it. sometimes, riders can be known to help non-team members in fairly small low-key ways (see in this post valentino accusing marc of deliberately towing ducati riders to get them ahead of his actual rivals in brno 2014). for both pecco and pedro, marc is definitely the bigger focus, but they are both perfectly aware of the danger the other poses, and will not be inclined to treat each other as anything other than an active threat
that being said! of course pecco has already nicely demonstrated this season that he does approach his marc fights differently than he does those with other riders (which is broadly the correct and smart thing to do, even if the specifics can be critiqued). portimao even gave us the direct comparison between pecco/pedro and pecco/marc! part of it, yes, will just be an element of self-preservation - marc is now back to being a major roadblock for winning any future championships, and he'll be in pecco's house so will of course require... extra attention. apart from that, it absolutely would be the most meaningful way pecco could win a championship, by beating the famous marc marquez on equal machinery... nobody has done that before, and it would instantly dispel any remaining doubts about pecco's ability and cement his legacy as one of the greats of the sport. he wants to beat marc so badly because marc is one of the two riders he's always been chasing... and marc's absence has left all the young pretenders in this odd place where they've taken the crown but don't quite believe it's theirs yet. (just to say this again, I personally don't share the view that marc's absence diminishes those titles in any way, but it is of course interesting when the riders themselves have these insecurities.) there was that interview from early-ish last year where pecco talked about some of his personal limitations and how he views his own status in the sport:
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fascinating, isn't it? of course, I'm sure a second title will have helped to some extent in making him feel a little more entitled to that status in the sport - but this is not the kind of thing valentino or casey or jorge or marc ever would have said. there's a self-consciousness to pecco, an awareness of his uncertain, shaky journey to the top of the sport, how he's fully cognisant of how different he is to those names... which can be a problem at times - delusion is an athlete's life blood, and while the level headed insight pecco expresses here is arguably admirable, it is not necessarily helpful for him as a champion. on the other hand, sometimes lacking a little in the delusion department can be a good thing if it allows you to deliberately improve yourself, pushed on by the knowledge that you still have a long way to go... pecco's biggest self-inflicted wounds have tended to come when he's at his most comfortable - you can theorise about why this happens, but maybe that striver mindset is exactly what he needs to keep him going. it's still quite the admission to describe his 2022 season as more incomplete than either valentino or marc's title runs. (mind you, it's arguably even less complete a season than some of their misses - of course with valentino you have the obvious ones, but did you know that marc scored an average of 13.44 points in 2015 vs pecco's average of 13.25 in 2022? obvious caveat that in 2015 there were considerably fewer competitive bikes and barely any capable of regularly challenging for race wins.) the need to prove himself is always there with pecco... it keeps peaking through with him, and it absolutely peaks through in his approach to marc. yes, yes, acosta is the future, jorge martin has been his title rival more recently... but of course, beating marc would be special. do you think pecco ever dreamed that of it? do you think he really believed that he could before he was already premier class champion? with most champions, you would say it's likely. with pecco, I'm not quite so sure
as for pedro, yeah, obviously, that's just the cycle continuing lol. deeply curious what those two regularly competing at the sharp end of races looks like. pedro has kinda kept his distance, isn't that much of a marc fan himself... when he talks inspirations he tends to bring up schwantz, stoner, pedrosa, and of course rossi
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schwantz is far from an unusual pick amongst riders, though as the years pass perhaps gradually more so - it certainly reveals an appreciation for the history of the sport. as do the other choices, in a way... let's not forget that acosta was eight years old when casey retired. of course back in the day casey and dani themselves got plenty of criticism for how 'boring' they were - that's just how these things go! nobody's ever nostalgic for the present etc etc
pedro did also talk last year about how the public wants celebrations and rivalries, critiquing how friendly riders are nowadays and saying people want battles like jorge/dani, valentino/marc, and so on (full clip here)
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heartwarming: global number of people who still care about the valentino/sete rivalry is now confirmed at 2 (two)
obviously, you can't just go out and manufacture feuds because you're feeling like it, and pedro's had a pretty quiet rookie season in that sense. but once he feels like he's settled in and can challenge the infamous marc marquez in an actual title fight? on the basis of this rhetoric, you'd at least hope he's not going to be too shy in taking on the challenge. of course he too wants to beat marc more than anyone else... again, it's a question of legacy, how pedro clearly situates himself within the same lineage as both valentino and marc - even if personally he aspires to be more of a successor to the former than the latter. always better to take the crown for yourself, right? this is a kid who's clearly into the history of the sport and is already determined to make himself a big part of that story... weaving himself into that narrative by taking on a legend of the past, taking on the task of disposing with that legend himself. plus, given pedro is so aware of that history - he knows that what people remember are the rivalries. he wants some of that for himself! it'll be interesting to see how proactive he'll be in making that happen, certainly seems like an enterprising young lad
anyhow, yes, plenty of potential for both of those dynamics. and yes, they do very much want to beat marc - but if we're talking about who wants to beat him the most, jorge martin probably deserves a mention right around now. does have to be said that something dumb like the portimao thing is costing pecco and marc this year. it's kind of gone under given the sheer bucketloads of points all the title contenders are throwing away, but pecco would be eight not eighteen points behind in the standings if he had settled for sixth in portimao, and for marc it would be twenty four rather than thirty five points if he'd backed out of the move and had another go on the next lap. relatively unlikely to make a difference at the end of the season... though for mr title decider pecco bagnaia, it sure might be! I did joke about making the pecco/marc portimao thing tradition, but generally speaking two top riders crashing each other out isn't that common a thing, and it's pretty..? rare? that it's the same two riders on multiple occasions? I'm drawing a bit of a blank here, to be honest... then again, title contenders do seem to crash rather more than they used to (admittedly they also have a lot of opportunities now) - so maybe this is going to become a more regular occurrence. but what is more likely to happen is that when you have two competitive riders on the same bike, they do run the risk of taking turns stealing points from each other at the circuits where their bike is at its best. I think pecco and marc can probably minimise this given what a good all-round bike the ducati is across a range of different circuits, and also given that as individual riders they do at least seem to be reasonably distinct in what their strongest and weakest tracks are. all in all, I kind of doubt they'll cost each other like that next year... though admittedly if portimao is anything to go by I may be tempting fate
#still think marc's gonna WIN that fight and it could easily be one sided but I do *hope* it'll be interesting at least#pedro citing casey and schwantz together... actually wonder how casey feels about schwantz these days#brr brr#batsplat responds#//#i think my favourite moment of 'man you people really will not help each other' was late 2017#where you did kinda look at jorge/vale and go. guys marc's about to take a SIXTH title. those are YOUR numbers he's surpassing/threatening#and valentino was the one who mathematically killed his teammate's chance of beating marc by finishing right ahead of him at pi#whereas jorge... well. you know#it's quite funny because the whole time during pi '17 i did have a bit of my brain go 'oh god what if valentino makes marc crash'#because that was some HARD racing and can you IMAGINE what the discourse would've been??#so many people would've assumed he did it on purpose to try and stop marc from winning another title. and it could've done just that!!#kind of ironic? funny? tragic? fitting? that their actual next conflict ended up being over something so incredibly deeply pointless#another miss from my side was having a bit of a feeling about catalunya 2019 given it felt marc had been kinda terse all weekend#bit too close to valentino a bit too often!!#though i suppose it wasn't as much a 'miss' as it was 'jorge what the fuck was that'. i still think i was onto something with that race#wow this is a bit of a tangent... anyway idk always healthy to correct for how self centred these blokes are#not just in the sense of being selfish but also in that they're just thinking about themselves#that being said if you put motegi 2010 and phillip island 2017 side by side it is kind of interesting...#current tag
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jackredfieldwasmyjacob · 1 month ago
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my number one weirdest talent has to be knowing by heart all abbreviations of spanish public universities
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jittyjames · 5 months ago
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why do i, an english/theatre major have to take calculus??? I WILL GENUINELY NEVER USE THAT. THIS IS SO HOMOPHOBIC. THIS IS GOING TO MAKE ME LOSE MY 4.0 I CAN FEEL IT.
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httpiastri · 1 year ago
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#im about to FREAK OUT bcs of my boss#like yes i'm so thankful and happy to be employed. really.#but my boss is so#it feels like he's never doing anything.... he's only in the office max 2 days per week and idk#hes just very strange#but the worst thing is that he just takes his own work and dumps it on me#which is fine in some ways! like i sometimes just sit around with no work to do#so then it's good to have something to do#but today... not only did i already have a shit ton of work to do but#he tells me to book a hotel for a conference they're having ?? and that's not even near what's in my work description??????#(i basically just do numbers rn. i sit with spreadsheets and move numbers around and stuff like that)#and the worst part is that he told me i cant email them... i must call........#and i get that this sounds super silly to those who don't have a fear of speaking on the phone but#it makes me freak the f out#i cant even talk on the phone with my parents. or my brother. or a friend. like genuinely just no i cant#it brings out so so much anxiety in me#i get dizzy just thinking about it#and again this is really really not even similar to anything in my job description ???? i wouldn't have signed up if i knew i had to do thi#and when i have things that i need to do but i physically cant then my brain just goes into pause mode and i don't do anything at all#instead of doing one of the many things i *could* do (like write an email anyway)#there's just no way im gonna be able to call but idk what my boss is gonna think if i mail.... because he specifically said that i must cal#rrGGG im just so frustrated!!!!!#and i needed to get this out.... soz for the rant#i just think i would cry (genuinely) if i were to make that call#alSO BECAUSE THE INSTRUCTION IS SO UNCLEAR LIKE ALWAYS WITH THIS GUY#I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO DO#gonna go drink a lot of water so i dont cry now 👍 sorry bye
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thorne1435 · 1 year ago
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Remember kids: propaganda isn't inherently bad, nor is it always misinformation! It actually depends on the agenda itself and what the effects of the campaign are.
You aren't immune to insidious advertisements, but you also aren't immune to body-positivity posts, for example.
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venacoeurva · 1 year ago
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Financial anxiety is understandable, considering things, but it’s so irrational with me, it would be funny if it wasn’t like. sad and annoying
Me: is relatively low income but in a stable situation
My brain: WE HAVE BILLS, CLEARLY WE MUST PAY FOR THEM ALL IN FULL NOW!!! (we do not) WE ARE GOING TO DIE ON THE STREETS RIGHT NEOOOOW!!!
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sophieswundergarten · 2 years ago
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Society Middle Name/Nickname Concepts!! Just because I can :)
Reynie "Fredrick" Muldoon
Sticky "Theodore" Washington
Kate "Ivy" Wetherall
Constance "Abigail" Contraire
Nicholas "Herbert" Benedict
Milligan "Dave" Wetherall
Rhonda "Sky" Kazembe
Pencilla "Ann" Two
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sysig · 4 months ago
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Everything day
#Had an Extremely long Game Day with smol today and I think it fixed my brain so that's great news#Past week has been rough!!!! Got hit with a semi-minor anxiety episode and a pretty serious depression episode to bookend last week#I'm all good it's just - took a bit out of me lol#Any number of things really too many to list so I'll just sum up as blegh - feeling better now#Started a new printing project!! Looking forward to that hopefully gonna do some test printing tomorrow#It Should work out well but pfbtl I can't count on my formatting skills for nonsense - shapes wtf are those#Been drawing <3 Been writing <3#Thinking quite very seriously about returning to doodle roots something awful#I tend to spend a Long Long time editing my stuff down by three different phases#Makes them very pretty! But I think I've had enough of that for the moment#New! Novelty! Needed and necessary and I'd rather Write about these than fuss more about how Pretty Or Not they are#They're pretty enough! I've made shapes on paper that previously didn't exist and now I can think about them as they are! Magic!#So that's the current plan - do still have One more step of editing to do before that lol but smol had offered me videos to listen to during#Good to have longer videos so I'm not constantly start-and-stopped#Oh and Pepper went into molt Again and just came out and he's genuinely gigantic now#And so dark! Handsome boy was a nice soft brown when we picked him up and so tiny small and now he's nearly black and huge#And so furry now he's definitely at least twice as fuzzy#Got him to eat - he was definitely hungry but he seems to be pacing himself still#Everything everything
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sherlock-is-ace · 9 months ago
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#panic attacks leave me feeling like shit for the rest of the day and that seems illegal#what do you mean i go through th worst feelings ever for a number of minutes and when it ends i still feel like absolute shit#the embarrassment of being seen as you lose all control of your body and emotions#and then your brain staying foggy and shitty all day#panic attacks should be a one time thing#i hate them!#kdfhgdfg#i was researching phsychiatrist yesterday because every day it's getting harder to deal with my brain hating me#but boy oh boy are they expensive!!! mental health doctors are never covered by my health inssurance and they're one of the most expensive#types of doctors out there and you can't just go once. it's a long term thing#so i very much doubt i'll be able to afford it#specially because my stupid work is not regular so maybe i can afford like 2 sessions and then never again for like 4 months...#i hate this so fucking much#and it's sort of a vicious cycle because i can't pay for therapy because i don't have regular work#and i can't find regular work because my anxiety paralyzes me most of the time...#but it's fine... could be worse#we still can afford food and pay for services so it's fine#i just wish my entire wasn't in other people's hands you know?#the people ruining this country the people who politely say ''thanks but you're not a good fit for our team'' etc etc#angel talks#personal#please ignore this post it's actually fine. i'm fine and not in danger of doing something stupid or whatever#it's all fine i'm just venting cause as i said my brain is foggy and putting things out there helps a bit
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izzy-b-hands · 5 months ago
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To Do for tomorrow (in theory at least, if the spoons are there to let me manage all of it)
-One last load of laundry (that idk where im gonna put bc im outta room but. I'll figure it out)
-clean bathroom sink
-swiffer all the floors (that are safely swifferable)
-double check my room and hide any sex toys still sitting out (in my defence, my toys my room my choice where they go, but also, i think a dildo can be a nice centerpiece on a desk or shelving unit top. Ties my whole room together!)
-pause the Oh God Mum's Visiting cleaning/prepping to try and gif Tyler's part in last night's concert (I fucking*screamed* when i heard the intro to his first song and saw him run out, poor Housemate was v chill abt me losing my shit in excitement lol)
-dishes, bc that's just a thing i like doing daily now. put on music, zone out for an hour and half, come back to conscious thought to a bunch of clean dishes. what more could a man ask for (I have ideas but I'll take dishes for now)
I'm writing this out, here, so when my forgetful ass is scrolling thru things tomorrow, I'll see this and won't forget to do anything
hopefully (Tomorrow Me pls don't fuck this up)
#text post#i have no right to be tired rn but i am a bit#Housemate and i are gonna chill tonight tho so that'll help#just relaxing and dinner and maybe a bunch of Tumblr scrolling#im just. already worn out at the idea of mum and her bf being here and i KNOW i need to get out of this funk#my brain is like hmmm but what if they cancel last minute. maybe you should just not do anything and act like they won't be here#my brain does that with anything that hardcore triggers my anxiety like work and Mum lmao#immediately is like 'what if they cancel everything forever and you never have to worry abt work or money again'#and I'll be like 'thats not fkn happening let's just prep for the situation and get thru it'#and yet. the brain persists in this#Housemate is being an absolute angel too and taking us on another dispo run before mum gets here bc#between work and mum im gonna just. need to have every minute be 420 at least mildly#to make sure i don't get overwhelmed and have a meltdown that puts me in my room for a week straight#and fucks up all of this#getting wizard high is for the nights during this next week tho bc Housemate has helped me convince mum#that I dont need to see them to the hotel each night and maybe hang out thru the night with them (sweet but pls no)#so the nights I'll have to try and keep my shit together#stoned and worry rambling too much rn but god just. let me not piss her or the bf off. they're gonna lecture me on like#at least three things im p sure of. I don't want to add to that number 🙃
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aropride · 1 year ago
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to be quite honest i think everyone who runs a public ed blog is a bad person 👍 regardless of if they tag their posts "only pro for myself" or if they have "dont interact if this is triggering!!!" in their bio because if they didn't want to encourage eating disorders they wouldn't run a blog other people could stumble across with content that they KNOW is triggering and making their ed worse.
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