#they're called cake eaters for a reason

[l3viat8an]

Hola Ro 🥰

This is gonna be a mouthful but...

Thinking about Human! College au! Dorm neighbor! Beel and Belphie gets like 5 seconds of this lmao

Oc he's still a big eater but imma tone it*way* down cuz he human.

This bitch is the best cook in the entire dormitory. Like there is no broke college boy here because in addition to his job he sells lunch/dinner plates. They're reasonably priced but he sells so many that his profits are pilin' up Belphie has to help pack and deliver the trays.

Just imagine you move into your new dorm and before you even unpack your first item, there's a soft knock on the door. You open it up and you're honestly surprised at how far back you have to tilt your head to see the smiling face of this ginger. You studder a bit as you greet him and he smiles back warmly. "Hey! I'm Beelzebub, but you can call me Beel. I'm a Junior here" He smiles lifting up a tray "Brought over some lasagna, thought you might enjoy it" Oh! So that's what that gigantic tray he's holding has in it! Accepting the tray with a little smile you swear it weighs like 5 pounds. "Thanks... Uh, Would you like to join me? I couldn't possibly eat this much lasagna alone" He tilts his head slightly "You don't have a dormmate?" You shake you're head in response and Beel frowns a little bit. "I bet that's pretty lonely." He shakes his head and then smiles brightly again. "Well feel free to come by our dorm any time. I'll introduce you to my roommate tomorrow"

Beel comes in and the two of you eat lasagna together on your futon with box tables like a scene from a movie and you're taken aback by how much he eats. The tray of lasagna is finished in just under half an hour and you converse for a bit, complimenting him on his culinary skills and talking about classes and schedules. Eventually, he heads back to his dorm because whatever he was cooking in the pressure cooker is done and he needs to go pack meal trays. You offer to help as a thank you for the lasagna and he accepts joking about Belphie needing his beauty sleep anyways.

This becomes a regular thing for the two of you and Belphie is honestly grateful that his naps no longer need to be cut short. And surprisingly Beel's sales go up because you bring the flavors of your culture to the little business. Eventually it grows so much that Beel can quit his job and expenses are still fully covered.

Cutting to the list part of the hcs lmao

𓆦 Beel who finds himself a bit flustered as mix and chop ingredients, occasionally lifting a little spoon to his lips for him to sample the flavor. Admiring the cute satisfied face you make when tells you the flavor is perfect.

𓆦 Beel who eventually gets bold enough to lick a little bit of batter of your cheek, chuckling as your cheeks turn pink from his actions

𓆦 Beel who buys/makes lots of cream filled treat because he loves how a little bit always spills out of the corners of your mouth when you take too big of a bite. Imagining is his cum spilling out of your mouth instead of just the cream of a pastry

𓆦 Beel who jerks off in his room at 1 in the morning because he can't stop thinking about how your small hands were wrapped around the piping bag as the two of you iced mini cakes together. Wondering what it would be like for them to be wrapped around his cock instead. Belphie eventually knocking on his room door, telling him to be quite because the walls are thin and you can probably hear him from inside your dorm.

𓆦 Belphie who visits you in your dorm asking you to please just fuck Beel already because he has to deal with Beel's horny ass all day, every day.

𓆦 Beel who takes you on a proper date before he even tries to make a move on you because he wants to be a gentleman

My fingers are dead from typing this (´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡

~🍒

Nsfw content MDNI

��!!!!!! I have no words oh fuckkkkk-

𓆦 Very silly first thing but Beel who has a poster of Garfield eating lasagna in his kitchen :))

𓆦 Beel who during your date (if you went out for a change) sends a quick texts to Belphie telling him to get out so he can get laid-

𓆦 Beel who is the perfect gentleman throughout your whole date!!! Even asking before he kisses you because he doesn’t want to move too fast…

𓆦 Beel who can’t and won’t stop kissing you after that. The sweet softness fades away into hungry, biting kisses, as he nips at you bottom lip hoping to slip his tongue into your mouth. Only ever braking the kiss long enough to mumble about how good you taste~

𓆦 Beel who tries so hard not to just rail you into next week- he really wants to be gentle and slow…make it feel special for your first time with him…but when you whine and moan like that he can’t help it. Folding you practically in half on the bed and just stuffing you full~

𓆦 Beel who can’t stop telling you how well you’re taking him, how good you feel around his cock…how it’s so much better then he’s imagined and oh fuck- don’t squeeze him like that….he doesn’t want to cum too soon!-

𓆦 Beel who covers your tummy in his cum cuz he’s worried about cumming inside on ‘the first date’ :((

𓆦 Beel who still, after all that, wants to eat you out and have you cum on his tongue…..please? He knows you’re sensitive but it’ll feel good!! He promises!! He would have done it first but he couldn’t wait to feel you around his cock-

𓆦 Beel who carries you into the bathroom to wash the cum off, before taking you back to bed (dressed only in one of his huge t-shirts)

𓃾 Belphie who sneaks in as quietly as he can’t at like 3am….but can’t help peaking into Beel’s room. Seeing your body wrapped around Beel’s, “Good date?” both you and Beel open one eye and whisper back in unison, “Great date..”

[wolf-tail]

General Frustration With Helluva Boss

Sometimes, dealing with Vivziepop media is exhausting. One one hand, you have the violent irrational hateboner for anything and everything she's ever touched that a lot of people, especially on tumblr, have. It feels less born out of actual criticism and that weird flavor of "ouroboros snake eating it's own tail" cringe culture that a lot of people (mainly tumblr users) feel for anything that reminds them too much of their middle school selves. Like, ya'll picked Hazbin over South Park in the "worst cartoon ever" pole. South Park, the show that made antisemetism cool to hundreds of white tweens. That South Park. Yeah, that flavor of criticism is about as helpful or productive as bullying the kids in your local dead mall's Hot Topic.

On the other hand, you have the people who act like Viv and her team are incapable of wrongdoing and that any direction their projects going is the direct word of god and criticism of any aspect of either of her shows is a literal war crime.

I belong to neither camp because I enjoy my ability to critically think.

They're a long, LONG shot from perfect but there are things to like about both shows. Unfortunately, there's even more to criticize.

The Hazbin/Helluva fandom has a reputation for being childish, (often because a lot of them are actual children who have no business watching either show), whiny, and media illiterate. A creator can rarely if ever be blamed for the stupidity of certain members of their fanbase, though. Given the inane and frankly ridiculous misinterpretation of the character of Stolas by fans who are dead-set on viewing him through the most red-tinted "Ron the Death Eater" headass lenses, if I were a writer for Helluva I'd be tearing my damn hair out. But, sometimes, I wonder if Helluva's writing encourages the kind of dumbassery it's fans are prone to, mainly, with the latest short.

As soon as I saw the thumbnail, I knew what was coming. I tried to stay hopeful, I tried to think that Viv and her team wouldn't do this, but my expectations for this show are probably wayyyy higher than they should be.

The Helluva Shorts are Viv's little way of having her cake and eating it, too. With the plot of the full episodes being almost completely dedicated to more drawn-out character driven emotional beats, the shorts are allowed to maintain the monster-of-the-week mercenary assassination type plots, where I.M.P. has a target to kill and a specific goal to overcome for the episode. (Short 1 is an exception, and strangely the best out of all of them. It helps develop Millie's almost completely flat character and prioritizes her over the male characters she typically gets shafted for.) Short 3, Weeaboo-boo, is the weakest short by far, something even hardcore fans of the show would agree on.

To spare everyone the misfortune of having to watch it, let me summarize:

I.M.P.'s latest target is Emberlynn Pinkle, a twenty-something college student living at home with her parents. Her case file actually gave me some hope for this short, as the reason I.M.P.'s client wants her dead is over bullshit and inane shipping drama, something I sadly have experience with. I thought this short was going to critique the kind of nonsense the worst types of fans (like the ones outlined above) get up to, but instead, it just took one big look at fandom culture as a whole, and like a woman-hating redditor obsessed with powerscaling, decided to spit in it's face and call it a whore.

Emberlynn is portrayed as a sickeningly cliche charicature of female fandom, a horny loser burdening her parents, obsessed with sex, who writes dumb and lame fanfics about her dumb and lame self-insert oc. She feels like she was an attempt at a tounge-in-cheek little self-depreciating humor bit about fandom, but feels stale and mean-spirited.

She's a loser weirdo for being a monsterfucker, despite half the jokes in the show being about weird kinky sex. She's a horned-up creep for getting exited about being hunted by a demon and thinking he's here to have sex with her, despite that being THE LITERAL FIRST THING STOLAS DOES WHEN BLITZ BREAKS INTO HIS HOUSE, the only difference between him and Emberlynn being that Stolas has a tragic backstory, and is a man. Blitz kills her and sends her to hell, where she gets a sickass demon form I might add,

and is nothing more than a stalky, obsessive fangirl.

...

Do you ever wonder why creators hate their female fans?

We've already done this same song and dance with Supernatural, but I expected Vivzie, a woman herself who's made jokes about the kind of misogyny women in her field of work experience, to not treat female fandom with the same "icky girls ruin everything with their stupid horny bullshit" sentiment that the Japanese incels on 2chan who came up with the word fujoshi. But I expected too much from her I guess. How the fuck did The Amazing World of Gumball handle fanfic culture in a genuinely funnier and kinder way than she did!?

Viv is just doing what she does best, creating a female character with interesting potential and the teeniest weeniest bit of something resembling body diversity in her cast of stick figures, making her annoying, and letting her rabidly misogynistic fanbase trample all over her. She did it to Mimzy, and funnily enough, Emberlynn kinda looks like her.

This short sucked complete ass, and is just more proof that Viv sucks at writing female characters. I'm disappointed, she did Emberlynn and Mimzy so damn dirty.

[beautiful-basque-country]

Kaixo !

Would you know words in euskara to refer to LGBT people ? I'm learning the language since only one of my parents speaks it and I only had a child vocabulary, and I don't really know where I would find slangs or if basque LGBT history is totally similaire to the one of Spain and France. The dictionaries I looked at only give the formal words and I was wondering if there was others (I don't dare to ask my father so I come at you, ô stranger on the internet).

Have a wonderful day !

Kaixo!!!

Here's a little word list found online:

Words to say lesbian:

Neskazale: girls enthusiast Aluzale, motxinzale, potxorzale: vulva enthusiast Motxinjale, pikujale, txirlajale: pussy eater Lesbiana hutsa: A lesbian who has never had sexual relations with a man. Bargasta: It has been used to designate shameless women, although it does not exclusively refer to lesbianism.

Bekatorosa: it means "sinners" and it's used in Iparralde. It was used as a queer response to the exclusion promoted by the hegemonic Catholic religion.

Bilitisen alabak: it means "the daughters of Bilitis". Lesbians were also called "the sisters of Bilitis". In 1894 Pierre Louÿs published a fake collection of Greek poems called The Songs of Bilitis where Bilitis is a Sappho's student and that is the reason why Bilitis and his daughters are rightly associated with lesbians.

Joxe-Joxepa: it means John-Jean taken from the dialect of the valley of Deba.

Kuku: it means cuckoo. It is used in the area of Oarsoaldea. "Cuckoo parties" were held in the past, the term may be related to the Kuku Herri district of Azkoitia.

Lamia: character of Basque mythology. A name that gays, lesbians and transsexuals use to call themselves in good humor or jokingly.

Lesbiama: from lesbiana + ama (mom), a word game for a lesbian who is a mother.

Emakoi, emaztekoi, andrakoi, neskakoi and verb neskakoitu: they can be used to mean to have a crush on girls, to slip into lesbian attitudes and actions.

Piper-opila: it means pepper cake. A word proposed by the Basque lesbians of EHGAM in Donostia to name themselves about twenty years ago.

Sorgin: meaning witch. It has been used in both good and bad ways.

Soropila: proposed as an alternative to 'bollera'. Formed by sorority + opila (cake).

Tortillera and bollera: literally, omelette maker and buns maker. They're common Spanish loanwords for lesbians in many areas of the Southern Basque Country.

Ulertua, kapaza: The understanding one, the one who understands. Codified statement to indicate that someone is gay or lesbian.

For butch:

Emarkia, marimutila, tunkurruna: tomboy

Hartzeme: it means female bear. It describes a masculine lesbian as an alternative to the English word butch. Other words are mariaker (mary male) and mari-motrailu.

Lumaontzi, lumadun, lumatzar, lumatza: the feathered one. A lesbian with a masculine look.

For femme:

Emaztetto, ematto, maripinpirin, marinexka, mariguapa

Words to say gay:

maritxu, garbiñe: they mean little Mary and Claire, used for femenine gay men. It was a slur but now it's been reclaimed.

tximeleta, marikoi: butterfly, fag*ot. Homophobic slurs, more and more reappropiated among the gay community.

atzelari: top

erregina: queen. A proud gay.

hartz: bear Vocabulary related to sexuality:

Andraketa: from woman + suffix of action. Sex or sexual activity between lesbians.

Andramin: from woman + pain. Strong sexual desire for women. Lesbian sex passion.

Neskatan or mutiletan egin: sort of "to do among the girls" or "to do among the boys". Flirt with girls / boys (same sex flirting).

Opila, opiltxo bat egin: Cake / Make a little cake. Two lesbians have sex.

Bilbon ibili: literally, to walk in Bilbo. To have sex.

[x, x]

Regarding LGBTI history in Euskadi, it's been linked to the one in Spain: heavily prosecuted during the dictatorship and after it - late 70s - the movement started to rally and ask for rights and legal protection. Some highlights:

1978: Basque congressman Francisco Letamendia Belzunce “Ortzi” defends for the first time ever LGBTI rights in Madrid.

1983: Legalization of the first Basque LGBTI association and decriminalisation of sex reasignment surgeries.

1994: First registration of a common-law partner in Gasteiz.

2003: Right to adoption to same-sex couples achieved in Euskadi.

2004: First edition of the International Gay-Lesbo-Trans Film Festival Zinegoak in Bilbo.

2009: Unity of Gender created at the Gurutzeta hospital (Bizkaia), formed by a multidisciplinary team of psychiatrists, psychologists, endocrine system specialists, and plastic surgeons.

2010: The Basque Parliament passes a law proposal supporting the end of the consideration of transexuality as a mental illness.

Sorry for the loooong post!! Eskerrik asko for reading!

[retainerstainer]

Why do people need to be in a relationship after relationship after relationship after relationship?

What do I mean when I say this. When people (based from experience, girls) get out of a relationship, fresh back in stock, just a whiff of the single culture life and literally hearing their brain think properly for once after breaking up with someone, they have to immediately book the next ticket to failed-relationship-single-people-island, get into a relationship, or even a friends with benefits, situationship, or even a sextingship (not going to get into the context of that), just to breathe or operate properly again. As if being alone for at least 5 seconds will literally rip them apart and cause them to melt and cut out their hair.

I've seen girls do the same routine, and it boggles the mind as to why not only the woman, but the men, the gays, and the they's do it. Why do people need to quickly be in a relationship or some kind of "ship" after the next after the next after the next?

One word. Image. That word alone explains all the evermore reason as to why people do that and here's why. Whether it be society, close, friends, or even family dinners, people who can't stand being single for at least 5 minutes, don't want to get cannoned with questions and concerns as to WHY they're single, and apparently based from a real answer from a real human being friend of mine, are afraid of either ending up alone or being at the bottom of the food chain of the dating pool, and that thought alone, scares them and their life alone. Making them having to taste every flavor at Cold Stone. You'd be surprised to find out how many couples HATE each other and those are the same people who refuse or too stubborn to leave the relationship because it'll put them in that pool that is contaminated with single people advices and woes. As a woman, who is a very picky eater, ESPECIALLY, when it comes to men and dating, I have my standards, boundaries, and types. I have only been in 3 "ships" my entire life, the rest of the time of my life has been only about my needs. my wants, and my matters. And as a single person watching another single people go through THAT phase in their life, I'll hold your scissors before you cut your hair, the RIGHT one for you will come WITHOUT YOU EVER KNOWING! Relax, take a breathe, drink some coffee or drink of choice, and watch a romcom. Yes you only live one life, but the boys, the girls, the gays, and the they's CAN WAIT. Have hobbies, have something that will block out those thoughts. Get that degree with a man, without a man etc, etc. Live your life the fullest but not for the image or the subject being talked about at family dinner, but because you WANT to. You don't find who you're looking for when you're looking? NO! Please take this advice or whatever you want to call it with the full cup or a grain of sugar for your cookies, there is nothing wrong with constantly going back to back with people. Even before people get married, they like to try a lot of cakes before they even say "I do". But there is also nothing wrong with taking a break and figuring out what YOU want. Or perhaps maybe the reason you need to be in a relationship after another is because of attachment/needy issues in the past, then seek therapy.

[copperbadge]

This question has been eating my brain: Why do you keep on buying Mystery Crisps (potato chips) when there is a reasonable chance they’ll do GBH to your tastebuds??? Is the flavour pay-off worth it? Does, in fact, the ultimate Platonic ideal of the crisp exist? (Should I try this Crisp Quest at home?)

Oh, well, what's life without a little spin of the roulette wheel? Where else can you get an adventure and a fun story to entertain the internet with for $2?

It's not really confined to chips/crisps -- that's just a subset of my larger "Let's try this strange food" mandate -- but in the US, weirdly-flavored chips are still kind of a novelty, like we just don't get the variety of flavors you see in other countries a lot of the time. And of course people send me weird chips from other countries and I LOVE that, because Americans are kind of sad and unimaginative when it comes to chips -- we tend to just go for "spicier", which is kind of pathetic, and I'm never gonna get like, Lamington Cake crisps in the US.

Anyway, if they had called themselves "super duper strong flavored bbq chips" I would have passed, but they went with "SUPER STRONG CHIPS! THEY HAVE...A FLAVOR!" and I needed to know what the flavor was!

Also, you guys know the shoe Lil Nas X put out, the Satanic one with the drop of blood in it? The company that made the shoe is called MSCHF, and they're an art collective which does a lot of weird novelty "drops", limited edition items that go up for sale at random times. I have the MSCHF app, so I know when new drops happen, and while most of them I'm not interested in, a recent drop was "illegally flavored" chips -- chips with flavors of foods that are banned in the US. So I have Casu Marzu maggot cheese chips, horse meat chips, and Fugu chips waiting to be opened and taste tested.

I was an extremely unadveturous eater for the first 25 years or so of my life, and in some ways I still am (I'm not into organ meat, I wouldn't eat an ortolan because I don't want to eat anything's digestive tract, I can't bring myself to eat whole bugs) but it's just not that much money -- or wasted food, if I don't like it -- to buy a bag of chips :D

[come-on-darling-honey]

Remus Lupin loves warm gloves.

Specifically the woollen ones. The ones his mum used to knit him, brown with little pink flowers around the cuffs. They're frayed around the edges and too small for his hands now. As a kid he used to believe the gloves were magic, that if he wore them he wouldn't feel the pain of the moon. The pain that morphed his young, fragile bones. The pain that left scars on his cheeks, his arms, his torso, his legs and his small smile. He keeps the gloves in a small wooden box in his trunk, it also holds a picture of him, his mum and his dad. Before the pain began.

His mum doesn't knit him gloves anymore, they don't really speak to each other. The house is separated by two beings in different lives. The kitchen still holds the floral porcelain. No one touches it anymore. Not since his father passed. Not since Sunday dinners made a final goodbye. Remus can still picture the crack upon the base of the porcelain pot, the big one his mum would cook the main course in. The kitchen now sits, still in a frozen memory. The blood of his dad had caked on the surface of the floor, Remus had to scrub that away himself. His mother never went near the Kitchen. Seeing your husband dying on the old wooden floor, his wand cracked and splintered and no magic strong enough to replenish the need for a final breath. Remus would dream of an apartment in Paris, he'd still have the gloves but he wouldn't serve food in porcelain. He'd listen to his muggle records and read muggle books. He’d still receive letters from his mum and dad with a pair of knitted gloves.

For the Christmas the boys spent at Hogwarts in their 6th year, Mrs Potter knit Remus Lupin a pair of gloves. She'd known what'd happened to his father, the whole wizarding community knew but no one said it. They never knew the reason a death eater targeted Mr Lupin, unaware it was because they'd mistaken him to be the werewolf. Yet Mrs Potter knitted him a pair of gloves. They were a dark moss green, when he held them to his nose they smelt like the Potter manor. Of baking and pen ink. He could picture her sitting in the old red velvet arm chair knitting as her husband attempted his most recent invention. He could picture the memory of himself, James and Sirius running down the hall outside of the study where she would knit. The competition of who can get down the hall further sliding in socks. Peter was the referee and has called James the winner but James had tricked him with a spell that slightly plips the mind up. Remus recalled he and Sirius planning to spike James' drink. And that they did. And that Mr Potter laughed at James' large tongue while clasping the shoulders of the tricksters and said something the pair froze at, unaware of the others reaction.

"Euphemia look at what our boys did!"

[b-rainrot]

Nanny/Household Manager needed for 1-year-old baby in Edina (Edina)

As I write this, the countertop installation team is here fixing a little alignment issue they made with our dishwasher. I wish you had booked them and had gotten the dishes done before they came so my husband and I could have spent more time playing with our baby and going through a business training together. :)             We can’t wait to have you shine in what you do best and run our household so we can do what we do best and be a loving family and run a successful business.             We are definitely the coolest family ever and we live in Edina. We had a family friend temporarily in this position, and now we want you to keep our ship running smoothly.             I run my own company and work from home, and my husband works for me, so we are here literally all the time. We are hilarious, we tell fart jokes, and we both talk on the phone pretty often for my business and do a lot of pep talks and picker-uppers. You have to be super cool with that. Negative attitude-havers need not apply. If you describe yourself as optimistic, helpful, resourceful, kind, feminist, fun—we are on the right track.             I am a former San Francisco fashion blogger, first page of Google, and I care a lot about what my house looks like because home is The Most Important to me for a million reasons. So if you are the type that “just doesn’t notice” that you left crumbs on the table, thank u next. If you are going to judge me because I like to wear the occasional high fashion item, you’re on the wrong post.             If you are going to call my daughter a “princess” or make comments about how to “act like a lady,” BYE. This is not the job for you. If you are going to criticize her for being bossy, move on to a different post. If you are going to lament her wardrobe for its lack of pink, you should find somewhere else to apply. We have an “All are Welcome Here” sign in our yard. My daughter’s middle name is after a female presidential hopeful for 2020. She will never be told to hug someone unless she wants to. We will never buy red baseball caps. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? Fantastic!             I nannied all through high school and college and am still close with all my nanny families. So I have a lot of opinions, backed by research, on how to optimize my daughter’s development, and I know what it’s like to be a nanny. There is no shaming in our household. We do not cry it out. You can’t spoil a baby. We are not religious and ask you leave that to your personal time. Are you up for being The Best Nanny Ever that my daughter is going to remember always and forever and have adorable nicknames for you? My nanny kids called me RaRa. I still call hand sanitizer “hand sanimatizer” thanks to L at age 2.5, and we say we’re “going to the other side to see a cat” thanks to S at age 3.5. If you’re not looking for a lifetime relationship and view this as just a buck, not for you.             We are not fantastic cooks, but you are! Meal prep is fun for you and you’re excited to help take care of us. Also, I have celiac disease, so you can’t bring gluten into the house. If you don’t know what gluten is and you’re not resourceful enough to google it right now, this is not the job for you. I’m vegetarian. If you think that’s weird, we are definitely not the right family for you.             This position is all about owning the role and going above and beyond. The whole family does this. Our baby just hit 12 months and already says 13 words. We are 99% certain she just added another to the roster today; we will see if she still uses it again tomorrow. WE ARE SO PROUD!!! My husband and I go above and beyond with my business. You are the kind of person who rises to the challenge, gets the job done, and also helpfully points out how it can go even smoother the next time. And you notice that those T-shirts are wearing out when you do laundry, so you queue up an order for more…not because you were asked to, but because you are The Ship Runner.             Have you seen Sex and the City? I am looking for the Magda to my Miranda, minus the judgement. Basically, you have to help run the show, and love doing it.             No smoking of any kind. I have asthma so it’s not cool to bring that around, plus I’d like you to live a full life, so please quit, but still don’t apply. If you’re going to show up hungover, not for you. If you talk on the phone while you’re driving and don’t use Bluetooth or if you text at ALL while driving, ever, stop it, because you’re operating heavy machinery and you could kill yourself or someone else, but also, don’t even think of applying. I have never gotten a ticket, I don’t speed, I signal my turns 100 feet ahead, I come to a complete stop. If that bugs you, move on. If you’re going to do anything but that with my daughter in the vehicle, don’t apply, period.             If you think it’s cute to toss babies in the air, omg NOPE. If you have a temper; if your blood pressure goes up when a baby cries; if you think it’s funny to joke about hurting babies, GTFO. If you are passive-aggressive/Minnesota Nice and will dislike something, lie about it, and then hold it against us, go make a hot dish in someone else’s oven. We’re straight shooters, but honesty without tact is cruelty.             If you want a job that you can post the heck out of my kid on social media, sorry dude, not for you. You’re going to have to sign a non-disclosure for this position because I’m a Name in my vertical, and we are going to want to be friends in real life anyway so we will be friends on social media.             We’re in this together. So sometimes, because I am addicted to my baby and only want to stare at her rostro forevermore, I am going to be reticent to even hand her to you and in the beginning I will probably lurk over your shoulder. You also need to be able to do things like research gardening services, place an order on Amazon, run to Target or Jerry’s or Trader Joe’s, learn the way we Tetris our dishwasher. You have to love helping, and I love celebrating people who help, so then we will do great together.             Can you swim? Great. Will you get down on the floor to do tummy time? Necessary. Is singing made-up songs your cup of tea? Great, ours, too. Do you like dogs? Better, because we have two perfect little pups.             I have visions of us driving to Lake Harriet together and power-walking the lake with my baby in her stroller. In the summer, we’ll have picnics on the beach.             Taking care of her is top priority, but this job also needs you to happily do light housework, washing/drying/folding/putting away laundry for humans of all sizes in the house, doing the handwashing (bottles/pacis/snotsuckers), loading/unloading the dishwasher, running errands, etc. We have a weekly cleaning crew so no need to scrub toilets, but you get the idea.             The hours are 8 AM to 5 PM, Monday through Friday. Rate is $20/hour. Actual hours needed will vary up or down, so anything above 40 hours is paid at time-and-a-half. You should have multiple years of experience as a nanny, especially with infants. If you want to bring homework to do while she’s napping and you’ve already checked the household chores off the list, that’s totally fine. Or if you want to bring a book to read, great, or you can borrow one of my 9 million books on mindset/business/philosophy.             Still here? You rock. Reply to this post with the subject: Firstname Lastname, your new rock star nanny.             In the email:             Attach your resume as a PDF.             1. Tell me about yourself.       2. Why do you think you’re a fit for this position?       3. What is your favorite quote?       4. Are you certified in CPR and first aid?       5. Be honest: what kind of driver are you?             My favorite quote is from Dr. Seuss’ book, The King’s Stilts: “And when they played, they REALLY played. And when they worked, they REALLY worked.”             Let’s have the grandest adventure together. 

https://www.kraigslist.org/id/7055395893    

[dmjammes]

Food: Intolerance or Allergic?

17/09/2020

First of all, when will your baby be ready to eat solid foods?

A recap:

When they are chewing their fingers and asking for more milk, here's a sign!

You then can start introducing a fruit/veggie. Starting with simple mash at first (potato, sweet potatoes, carrot, pear, apple...).

We often say that routine is the key to succeed in your child's education, but with food, diversity will prevent your child from becoming a fussy eater while growing up.

It is round the age of 6 months that you can start offering food which contains allergens. But only one a day and you may be able to see if your child has an allergic reaction or not.

I know that you will start being scared at this point of your child chocking.

We all are!

But babies are less at risk to choke if they feed themselves than being provided with a spoon.

But don't be afraid, they seem to be choking, but they're gagging. It's a gag reflex which helps to prevent choking. As they learn to eat solids, they're pushing the tongue forward or out of their mouths and do a retching movement to bring food.

The eyes may water, cough or even vomit.

Easy to say... but, don't panic!

You may even make things worse by letting your child seeing you acting crazy!

Just wait and let them cough!

Coughing is the sign your baby isn't chocking.

Chocking: you are not able to cry, cough, or gasp. Big differences!

Babies can also be offered to drink a few sips during meals with their first cup.

From 7 to 9 months

Your baby will be eating up to 3 meals a day.

More finger food is to encourage so they can feed themselves, and they will slowly develop their co-ordination. That's when they learn how to start biting. You should be able to begin trying small pieces of meat, fish and green vegetables. Their curiosity in tasting new flavours will encourage a baby not becoming a fussy eater.

However, remember!

Babies do not need any salt or sugar added to their food (or in cooking water).

From 12 months

A child will now be eating three meals a day: healthy and balanced.

As your baby grows, eating together will encourage him to copy (imitation is a key) and develop good eating habits.

In addition to milk, (about three feeds a day) and with two healthy snacks in between meals.

-> fruits

-> vegetables

-> daily products

Let's not forget breastfeeding. It's recommended to do it for up to 2 years or longer.

But that's up to you!

Don't be surprised if your child will need less breast milk as he/she will make room for more foods. They are usually weaning quickly at this point.

Which also means, no more infant formula. You can use whole cows' milk, as he/she will need the vitamins found in it. But also, he/she can now, use a cup with more confidence.

From 2 years old, if the child is eating well, he/she can have semi-skimmed milk.

Suppose you choose a healthy, balanced diet. You can use alternatives, such as soya, oat, or almond drinks, from the age of 1.

However, we should not give rice milk under five years old, as it contains traces of arsenic.

So good luck!

Food intolerance or food allergy?

A food allergy is a reaction by your immune system (it thinks like proteins are dangerous).

The body releases a chemical: histamine, which causes the classic allergy symptoms of hives or swelling, to the anaphylaxis shock.

Symptoms could be a rash, eczema, itching, just after eating. It is believed that babies with eczema problems are more likely to get a food allergy, but it's not automatic.

Food intolerance is considered as "less dangerous" (the body is merely struggling to digest).

Symptoms could happen a few hours after eating with a tummy ache or a skin rash.

If you have any suspicion of food that may have triggered some symptoms, you can try removing it from your child's diet and observing if he experiences new signs in the next two weeks.

Afterwards, reintroduce the food and see if symptoms return.

Of course, read on the labels to see if a packaged food contains any allergen.

Which explains why schools and other childcare establishments are so strict about food policies, and so, to avoid any responsibility.

Here are the most recurrent food reaction categories:

Cheese

Cheese can form part of a healthy, balanced diet for babies and young children, and provides calcium, protein, and vitamins.

Babies can eat pasteurised full-fat cheese from 6 months old. This includes hard cheeses, such as mild cheddar cheese, cottage cheese and cream cheese.

Babies and young children shouldn't eat mould-ripened soft cheeses.

Brie or camembert, or ripened goats' milk cheese and soft, blue-veined cheese, such as Roquefort, they are a higher risk that these (unpasteurised) cheeses may carry a bacteria called listeria.

You can check labels on cheeses to make sure they're made from pasteurised milk.

But you can use one of these cheeses in a part of a cooked recipe as the bacteria is killed by cooking. Baked brie, for example, is a safer option.

Eggs

Babies can have eggs from around six months.

But, of course, avoid raw eggs, including into an uncooked cake mixture, homemade creams, or desserts.

Fish

Cod is usually the first and the most favourite fish in our children's meals.

However, fish can increase the risk of food poisoning, depending on how it's been cooked. And the amount of mercury can affect the development of the nervous system. So be reasonable!

Gluten

Some people remove gluten from their diet because they "believe" they have experienced some symptoms after eating wheat.

It's essential to make sure what the symptoms are. If you have noticed your child having reactions to a portion of food or have any suspicious ... check with a GP. He might ask you to pass some detection tests with a specialist and check for any digestive or stomach illnesses. (which is a condition, not an allergy)!

Nuts

It shouldn't be given to children under five years old, as they can choke on them.

So you can prepare some from 6 months old, as long as you make sure they're well crushed.

You might need to check with your GP if there are allergies in the family before introducing any kind of nuts and peanuts.

Salt

As we mentioned before, we shouldn't add any salt or sugar in their diet.

So do not add, and only check if the food is too salty or too fat as babies don't have well developed or strong enough their kidneys yet.

Sugar

Babies don't need sugar.

(Including sugar found in juices and other drinks), it's just about dental hygiene.

Honey, sometimes, contains a bacteria that can lead to botulism, (an infection which causes weakness in the muscles) which can be very serious.

So, you can give your child some honey when he turns one year old.

And, of course, honey is a sugar, so be careful about tooth decay.

But Parents, don't necessarily overreact!

Sometimes babies have a slight reaction, (usually a small red skin reaction), simply because it is the first time they are trying something new...the body is figuring out how to react.

There is no known cure for food allergies or intolerance. The only responsible thing you can do is to avoid being in contact or being close to an allergen.

When you see the doctor, he might refer you to see an allergist. An allergy test is necessary, and with no risk and pain-free.

It's usually a skin test, a drop of the allergen on the tip of the finger. A moment later, a reddish area and a lookalike mosquito bite will appear. Then you will know if your child is positive for being allergic.

Otherwise, for children with strong reactions, a blood test is being required, checking the level of the allergen.

#allergies #intolerence #food #eat #eathealthy