#they’re working on it !

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Nimona headcanons that I wrote during dinner

Wherever Nimona gets overwhelmed by their emotions they bite things

And you can see that all over the house there are bite marks on cups chopsticks on the couch the boy's arms 

You know the normal things 

They didn’t mean to draw blood and the boys know that 

They do however buy Nimona teething toys because they’re worried she’s gonna break something or hurt herself 

There’s a random Polaroid photo of the trio’s arms with matching bite marks 

It’s kind of cute in a weird way like matching tattoos except a not nearly as expensive 

The trio has a lot of the same vocal stims and they have no clue where half of them came from 

One day someone just walks into the house and mumbles “root beer” and the next thing you know the three of them are repeating it until they’re basically screaming it

The funny thing is they know a decent amount of T*kTok audios (or their universe’s equivalent) but they’re never on social media

Most of Ambrosius' life has been dictated by how the media perceives him he’s not gonna stay on social media

Social media is just too damn toxic and chaotic for Bal to handle 

He tried to be on multiple social media platforms 

It stuck for less than a month and he deleted all of them soon after cause he couldn’t stand it 

Nimona just hates social media

In his own words “It’s evil and chaotic but not the good kind”

Everyone in the trio has a weird sixth sense when the other two are even slightly uncomfortable 

Ambrosius has gotten multiple calls from Bal in the middle of meetings asking if he’s okay and if he wants to leave 

Ambrosius has shown up in the middle of a lot of Nimona’s fights even though he had no idea where he was and that he was even in a fight to begin with

Whenever someone tries to mess with Bal Nimona is just there 

Like a weird little fucked up version of state farm

Sometimes when the trio is arguing and Nimona is tired of them talking in circles she will shift some of her features away

Most of the time she’ll get rid of her ears and make a big deal about not being able to hear them

And when she does that they’ll start signing to her and she’ll get rid of her eyes 

Sometimes when they're really heated they'll try and tap on her leg in morse code

Which is when she decides to full leave the room and let them calm down

They don't follow her tho cause that's the sign that they've fully pissed her off and they know to walk away and take a breath maybe eat a snack maybe take a nap

Once enough time has passed and they’ve thought shit through they’ll have a little family meeting and talk it out

[arrowfleur]

I feel like Tank would probably body slam you into the ground on instinct if you touched them without warning

[resident-gay-bitch]

A little excerpt from a big fat fic I’ve got in the works (it’s prongsfoot centric btw) but it’s got TRANS REGGIE!!! And Reggie and Sirius fixing their relationship post runway 😭😭 they make me so weak

[trollbreak]

Both Pallor’s genetic parents are buff security guys that are so serious sometimes and do murders at the silverfin casino and ey’re like. I’m going to be able to help people if it’s the last thing I do but also… the things I’m seeing at medical school are icky….

[junglejim4322]

Seriously if you can’t financially help or go to protests wrt palestine the second best thing you can do is learn history and talking points by heart and be ready to bring it up with people you know. There’s never “nothing you can do”. There’s no shortage of books and documentaries made by Palestinians you can find for free on the internet you have no excuse to not educate yourself especially if you actually want to help

[angelicdewdrop]

“Cut Off Line” by @pngianne ✿

[blueskittlesart]

i hope everyone in nintendo’s management department dies and goes to hell no matter what and i’m not kidding

[800db-cloud]

i’m literally shaking buy them brown contacts pls

[zombiefvr]

anyone else have two headmates in an abusive relationship or is that just me

[badolmen]

They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.

[camilleflyingrotten]

The last centaurs, Aziraphale and Crowley, and their little foal Orion 💛

[cursedtrekedits]

you can’t even tell these are edited because they just look like that anyway

[stealingyourbones]

Amity Parkers are super good at dealing with superhero and villain battles, getting out of the rubble, helping others get out, etc.

This doesn’t shock anyone. There’s so many cities that consistently deal with superhuman battles that millions of people around the world are used to it and know what to do during a battle. Hell, there’s even government standard safety drills in schools about villain attacks now.

They didn’t stand out for a long long while among crowds of other city goers trying to flee a battle scene.

That was until a green glowing android appeared out of nowhere defeating heroes and villains alike because their abilities were rare enough to be hunted by this mysterious newcomer. So far no known weapon is able to hit the being while intangible.

That is until one unassuming citizen pulls out a strange wrist ray contraption that seems to actually stun the creature for a few seconds.

NOW all eyes are on these citizens that once lived in Amity Park

[allastoredeer]

Lucifer is definitely not thinking about all that chest fluff he’s touching right now

[ultravioletbrit]

“lipstick” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 280 words

 

“You lying, cheating bastard!” Regulus yells from down the hall.

“What did you do?” Remus asks.

“Probably nothing.” James shrugs as Regulus storms into the kitchen.

“Probably nothing!?” Regulus yells. “Care to explain what this is?” He throws a shirt at James.

“The shirt I wore last night.” James says casually.  

“Right. And why are there lipstick marks and mascara streaks on the collar?” Still yelling as he rips the shirt back out of James’ hands.

James points behind Regulus to a hungover Sirius who’s passed out at the kitchen table with smeared lipstick and mascara on his face.

“Right. That makes sense. Thank you.” He says sternly and stomps back out of the kitchen muttering something about ‘oil based’ and ‘a bitch to clean.’

“What was that?” Remus asks with wide eyes.

“Healthy communication.” James says with another shrug.

“That was healthy?”

“Oh yeah, normally he shuts down, won’t talk to me for days and often locks me out of the bedroom without telling me what’s wrong.” James starts telling him as Regulus walks back into the kitchen looking for something under the sink. “Plus, he knows I’d never actually cheat, probably just needed a bit of reassurance and this way he can ask without feeling too vulnerable.” He finishes as Regulus stands up.

“And you like it when I’m a little mean to you.” He tells James and kisses him on the cheek.

“And that.” James says as Regulus gives Remus a pointed ‘so there’ look and saunters out of the kitchen again.

“God, he’s dramatic.” Remus mumbles.

“Mooooonnnnyyyy!! My head huuuurrrts!!!” Sirius whines from the table and James raises an eyebrow at Remus.  

“What? I didn’t say mine wasn’t dramatic.”

[deadsetobsessions]

Danny laid across his throne, legs planted across the left arm of the ornate chair and back pressed uncomfortably against the right.

"Listen," Danny started, letting his head flop to the side as he glared at a hovering Observant. "This meeting has wasted enough of my time. You all have been arguing for hours and that's without Clockwork slowing things down."

"Your Majesty, this is a matter of great importance. Belial means to overthrow and rule my-our world!"

"I am distinctly aware aware of that," Ancients, Danny couldn't wait to go home and rid himself of the formal speech he'd had to adopt in order to be taken seriously. Well, as seriously as he cared to be taken when sprawled across his throne instead of sitting on it intimidatingly or something. He slowly placed his gaze on the suddenly still demon sitting across from him. "Yet you've proposed fifteen different plans that were all unviable for whatever reasons you've cooked up. Your conclusion is that I must step in. Does your world not have heroes to take care of it?"

The demon- another lord of hell from this Belial’s universe- fell silent.

“Ah. But if they do, they would also take care of you.”

“No- no, that’s not-”

Danny allowed his voice to drop to the artic freeze he knew his core was capable of. "I opened these these doors to allow all of you to present me with reasonable concerns regarding your own universes and realms. What is not on the table for discussion is your petty politics. Do you think I am unaware of your intentions in tattling to me? That I do not know you are trying to use me to further your own position?"

"Your Majesty, I-" The demon growled out, fear slowly coating its expression.

"It no longer amuses me. You think that I am young and easy to manipulate." Danny froze the demon to its chair. It tried to break free, but Danny isn't the High King of the Infinite Realms for nothing. "Bring to me a miserable problem like this ever again, one that could be easily solved if you used even a smidgen of your intelligence, and you will find exactly how I tore Pariah Dark from his throne."

Not that Danny knew how he did it either, he just did it.

"Yes, Your Majesty. My-my apologies."

The room is dead (Danny patted himself on the back for the pun) silent. Some of the Ancients looked bored, like Clockwork who knew Danny would never hurt them, but everyone else looked close to crying. He held eye contact with the demon until it looked away.

When Danny settled back into the throne and allowed his ice to dissipate, the room let out a collective sigh of relief.

"The next item on the agenda is another demon, by the name of Trigon." Clockwork announced, the large piece of paper comically huge next to his currently toddler-like body.

"Another?"

He flicked an amused look at the previous demon, who kept his trap firmly shut.

"He is attempting to take over multiple worlds in an attempt to conquer the universe. I had thought you would be interested in this one, Your Majesty, as he plans to begin with Earth 135."

Danny stilled. That was his Earth. His haunt.

"Does he know of the Realms?"

"Vaguely, I believe."

"Then he should know the rules. I will wait to see if my Earth's heroes are capable to step to the task."

Danny would be a hypocrite if he doesn’t let the heroes of his Earth try first, even if he is one of those heroes.

"Of course," Clockwork grinned at him, fully aware of the shit Danny's about to stir back home. Ah, the wonders of being able to influence the time stream. Perhaps the young Ghost King will finally get some friends, and maybe get those pesky speedsters to stop making his jobs so hard. Cujo yipped at Danny as the King begrudgingly moved onto the next topic.

——

Raven shuddered as she watched the footage of her "brothers" laughing while steering their human "meatbags" around. She turned back to the giant circle of donated blood and herb filled candles.

“This is a nuclear option, don’t you think?” Green Arrow mumbled, clearly not against it by the half hearted way he’d said it. The Star City billionaire nursed his cracked ribs.

“No,” she floated over to where Zatanna and Constantine kneeled, trying to see if they needed help with the inscriptions. “Trigon is coming soon, and my brothers will no doubt find their way here in a moment. We are out of time.”

“Yeah. Plus, we don’t want Raven to be turned into a portal.” Garfield piped up, switching animal forms rapidly.

“No one dies.” Red Robin muttered. His wrist computer was open, monitoring the surroundings of the open field they found themselves uneasily occupying. Batman grunted in affirmation, eyeing the tree line. Every hero except the magical ones were on look out, preparing themselves for one more battle against the two demons that were trying to take Raven and force her into becoming a portal.

“Hey guys, we might want to hurrythisupbecausethey’re kind of close!” Impulse slammed into the room.

“Done.” Zatanna got up, motioning for everyone to step back. In Superman’s case, he floated back.

“Too bad you won’t get to use it,” a voice drawled, dripping with malice and the screams of a thousand souls.

“Come now, little sister. Why fight fate? Be grateful father has deigned to spare you. If not for your dirty blood being useful, you would be dead, little sister. Give up, before our patience runs out alongside the lives of your little pets.” Another, mocking, voice gleefully rumbled.

Raven would rather gouge out her own heart than to claim these two as any type of family.

“You won’t touch them.” Raven snarled, powers rising even as the marks on her body burned a painful red.

“Buy us some time!”

With that, the group of beaten and battered heroes rose to clash against just two demons, for a chance to save their world.

——

The Circle crackled. Danny felt a tug on his core. He followed the thread of the summoning. Oh. It was his haunt. Earth 135. Hm. It tasted of blood. Desperation? A hint of anticipation. Oh, an overload of fear. Could use some more hope, but Danny understood that it was rather hard to season these kinds of summonings with hope.

“Stop.” Danny commanded, straightening in his chair.

“Sire, we have more-”

“There is an issue with my haunt,” with that, he followed the summons.

——

“Ugh,” was the first thing everybody on the frozen battlefield heard. The demons had smacked away many of the heroes, but they all turned as one when the circle lit up a bright green. “Why do you people always use blood? I’m dead, I don’t need any more iron!”

A boy

Raven’s eldest brother let out a hideous rumble. “You fools tried to summon the king, and you got a dead boy. And now, you’ve doomed another.”

Constantine looked resigned, and regretful. “I am so, so sorry,” he whispered. It was just a kid. John might be a lot of things, but even he found summoning dead kids for demons to devour was just a step too far. “Shite, we got the wrong fucking-”

“Hey, man, that’s rude,” the boy snapped back, waving John off.

“Brother, kill the whelp.”

“I vote on not killing the whelp. Not killing at all, really,” the boy stepped out of the massive blood circle, wrinkling his nose at the drying stains.

“This is not one of your pesky democracies, fool.”

In response, the demons lunged at him, ignoring the screams of the surrounding heroes as they shoved their human arms through the boy’s stomach.

“So,” the boy continues, “I heard your dad was after my haunt?”

“Your haunt, whelp? This earth shall be his! And through him, ours!” Raven slammed against the demons with her power, shadows enlarging and tossing them away from the unharmed… ghost boy?

“Is it?”

——

Wow, these demons are so rude. Normally, it’d be a breath of fresh air compared to the stuffy halls of his throne room. But since they’re attacking his haunt…

“Thanks. You’re… Raven, right?”

Raven nodded, arms outstretched in concentration as she held her brothers back.

“You have to go. We’re- we’re sorry you got pulled into this, but it’s not safe here.”

“Eh. It’s cool. You don’t have to do that anymore, by the way.” Danny stepped forward once more, green skin shifting and gliding as everything about him sharpened. He flew at the demons piloting the human shells, catching them around the necks and dragging the demons out of their stolen bodies. The threw them even further away as he floated in the air, a beacon of green and white. Raven thought it looked like hope.

“My name is Phantom, the High King of the Infinite Realms,” let it be known that Danny always had an eye for dramatic entrances. He shifted into something more off, more eldritch, more kingly. The crown flared to life above his head. “You have invaded my haunt. You have challenged me. What do you plead?”

“You’re not-” they said.

“Wrong answer,” Danny flew at them once more, body contorting into something undeniably terrorizing, his maw unhinging and crunching down on the demons with a sound that made the present heroes cringe.

“Ugh,” Danny grunted, turning back and floating peacefully to the group of heroes- Tucker and Sam would be so stoked he met Wonder Woman and Batman!- and chewed rapidly. He shifted back into his normal form. “Eating demons always leaves me with indigestion. And their bones get everywhere up in my teeth!” Danny pulled out a giant femur looking bone from his mouth, despite it not logically fitting in there.

“Right. No eating demons, solid life advice.” Red Robin said.

“Right? So, you’re Raven! It’s nice to meet you! Think you can summon your dear ol’ dad for me?”

“But we summoned you to stop Trigon, not help him come here.” Superman said, frowning.

“One! That summoning circle is wack. Those things you piled up as offerings? Mid. Also, if you thought you could control me with those terribly written spells, you’re dead wrong. And yes, I am making puns about death.” Danny jabs an aggressive finger towards the shabby circle.

“Have you considered that maybe not every being that can be summoned wants a shit ton of useless blood? Like what if I wanted food? And two, how am I supposed to beat up Trigon if he’s still stuck in the prison realm?”

“I have a cup of coffee,” Nightwing offered. “Kid Flash could probably get you food, right?”

“Yep, surethinganythingyouwantyourMajesty.”

“You wouldn’t catch me alive accepting food from a speedster. You people fuck up the timelines so much,” Danny grumbled, crunching on the last of Raven’s brothers. Raven thought she should probably sit down.

“But you’re dead.” Batman said, something about his voice catching the sharp attention of his protégés who all started making cutting motions at him.

“Fair,” Danny pointed at him, grinning. “I’ll take two pizza and Nightwing’s coffee as payment for taking care of your little demon overlord problem. Raven, summon your dad.”

——

Didn’t much like the characterization of this piece but it’s been in my drafts for a while and I needed it out