#they’re willing to beg if it means they don’t get hurt

[whump-in-the-closet]

i love love love when whumpees curse out their whumper. blood trickling out with their words, teeth bared and every sound vicious. and when the whumper replies by leaning in with the smallest of smiles and strokes their face. “careful.”

and whumpee whimpers. shrinking back, the bite in their eyes fading into terror. crying, shaking, pleading.

[dira333]

My Brother’s best Friend

Mattsukawa x Reader - requested by @shoulmate for the Haikyuu Request Game

Mild Angst to Fluff, 3700 words (my hand slipped)

You’re not all that fond of your teenage years. 

But maybe that’s just he curse of teenage life, to cringe looking back.

You're the little sister, two years between you and Toruu, twelve between you and Suzu.

With that age gap, it's only natural that you’d cling to Toruu more and beg him to take you on his adventures.

There are times you think he only did that because Iwa had a soft spot for you.

-

“Can you stop?” Toruu’s standing in the door to your room, wiping dirt of his trousers as you cry.

“But I wanna come!” 

“I don’t want you around all the time! We’re going to catch bugs and you think they’re disgusting.”

“Do not!”

“Do too! You just want to come because you think Iwa-chan is cute.”

“Do not!”

“Do too! You’re in love with him.” He singsongs the last part and you grab your pillow, throw it at him with all the strength a six-year-old can muster.

“Guys!” Your mom calls up from the doorway. “Iwa-chan is here. Are you ready?”

“I’m ready. She’s not coming.”

Toruu races down the stairs but you’re quick to follow him, wiping away your tears as you run.

“But I wanna come.”

Iwa’s wearing jeans that have been cut off at the knees, something you’ve begged your mom for two weeks already with no avail. 

He’s sending you a tooth-gaped smile, offering you a lollipop as if he’s handing out secrets.

“I don’t mind.” He says. “Besides, she behaves better than you, Oink-kawa.”

“She does not!” Toruu exclaims with his usual dramatics, getting more into it when he sees Iwa roll his eyes and smile at you as if you’re sharing a joke he’s not in on.

“Do too.” You stick out your tongue.

-

You see the Volleyball under Toruus arm and jump out of your bed.

“Training? I’m coming with you.”

He rolls his eyes in mock annoyance.

“You’re not even interested in volleyball. You’re just coming to see Iwa-chan.”

“No, I’m just there for Kageyama.”

Toruu fake gags and you throw your shoe at him, regretting it right away when he catches it and flings it up the stairs.

“Well, looks like you won’t make it in time.”

“Toruu, you ass!” You yell but he’s already out the door.

You do make it in time, mainly because Toruu keeps forgetting that you’ve joined the track team.

-

Kageyama is cute.

Not as cute as Iwa-chan, but no boy is worth the hissy fits Toruu throws when he thinks you’re spending too much time with his best friend. 

Calling Kageyama cute or agreeing to pass the ball to him still riles your brother up, but in a much safer way.

You don’t want to wake up with a shaved head or anything like that.

-

Somewhere along the lines you’ ve become a babysitter.

To Toruu, because he keeps neglecting his health in favor of beating Shittyjima and to Kageyama, because no one else is willing to spare him a minute of their time.

You know you’re not the right fit for either role.

After all, you can only handle so much.

You know Toruu doesn’t really mean to push you away whenever you come to his room. To remind him that he needs to eat, or get to bed on time, or to ask if he minds passing the ball to you.

It still hurts.

You know your parents don’t really mean anything by it when match after match passes without them attending. They’re busy, especially with helping Suzu now that she’s back at work and needs help babysitting.

But it hurts, even more when there’s no match of Toruu they’ve ever missed.

You know that Kageyama isn’t as mean as everyone pretends him to be. 

His social skills are worse than his grades and you’re the one tutoring him in your freetime.

But it still hurts when he’s yelling, reminding you that whatever you do, no matter how hard you try, you’ll never measure up to your big brother.

-

Seijoh is good for Toruu.

He’s still a dick when it comes to volleyball, but he’s got more friends than just Iwa now. 

There’s Hanamaki and Matsukawa now, or Maki and Mattsun as they like to be called.

They seem to have a soft spot for you too, but unlike Iwa they dare to tease you too.

-

“Oi, princess, you have dropped something.” Mattsun calls out when you walk past them studying in the kitchen.

“What?” You turn, confused. The only thing you were carrying was the glass of water that’s still firmly in your hand.

He bows down to pick something from the floor and holds it up to your face, hand closed around it.

His voice is nasally as he speaks, the dramatic flair almost too overdone. “My heart, mylady.”

When he opens his hand, he’s holding a bug.

The first time it happened you’d squealed in surprise.

But you grew up with a nuisance for a brother and recognize that plastic shine everywhere.

“Oh, I missed you.” You tell the fake bug, pick it out of his hand and fling it into your mouth, swallowing it whole.

An impressed smile dances around Mattsun's lips while Toruu gags in the corner.

“Nice.” Makki whispers somewhere on your side while Iwa brings out the important information.

“That one was real.” He says.

You roll your eyes and take a sip from your water, pretending to be less grossed out than you are.

“Grow up, boys.”

-

“Oi, Oikawa-chan.” 

Makki’s leaning in the doorframe, one arm up to showcase his biceps - the little fucker knows exactly what he’s doing. Half your class is ogling him already but you ignore him as you trudge over.

“What?” You ask.

He stretches out one hand, too quick to dodge, and pinches your cheek.

“Is that the right way to greet your senpai?”

You’re just as quick to stab your hand into his side, aiming for his sensitive ribs.

“Fuck.” He curses when you hit him where it hurts.

“Language.” Class president yells somewhere behind you and you push Makki out the door before you can get detention for his wrongdoings.

“What do you want?”

“Can’t I just come see you when I want?”

“You can, but that way I’ll never get a boyfriend. Now, spill.”

He grins and offers you a piece of chewing gum before actually telling you what he came for.

“I was sent to ask if anyone wants to apply for the manager position. We want to do it lowkey since Shittykawa is so popular.”

“Yeah, no, not doing that. I’m already part of the Girl’s Volleyball Club.”

He grunts. “Not you. The boys want someone pretty- Stop that!” He steps away just in time to avoid another hit.

“You know your peers. Pick someone who’s not going to faint at the sight of your brother.”

“Easy. Oba Makoto. He’s got heart problems and can’t do sports but he knows a lot about Volleyball. He’s tried hitting on me twice, so he’s probably got some taste and won’t fall for my brother.”

Makki pulls a face. “A boy? Ah, well, okay, I'll bring it up. We’re going out for ice cream after school. Do you want to pretend to be Mattsun’s date?”

“Again? Toruu’s not going to buy it.”

“True, true. We can put fake spider’s in his ice cream?” 

You ponder the offer for a moment. “Eh, it’s too soon to pull that kind of prank again. Besides, I should hit the gym after school. First years have to make an impression.”

“Fine. But you’re going as Mattsun’s date this weekend. There’s someone from my class who thinks he can’t pull girls and we have to set him straight.”

You roll your eyes. “Why would I do that?”

Makki grins deviously. “I have blackmail material?”

You shudder. “Fine. Text me the details later. I’ve got to get back to class.”

-

Iwa has the decency to say goodbye before he leaves for America.

It crushes the tiny bit of hope you’d nursed in the week - or so - since the news of Toruu’s upcoming departure. Without your brother here to supervise you, you could have explored what was left of your crush on him.

“You did a good job.” He says, awkwardly rubbing his neck as he stares at the trophies littering your shelves.

“Yeah, sure, I’m not bad.” You agree halfheartedly but he shakes his head.

“Not Volleyball, or the other stuff. I mean… with Oikawa. And Kageyama. You did what you could, I know.”

“Don’t.” You get up before he can tell you more stuff that you don’t need to hear. You don’t want him to talk about things like that. It makes you feel like you’ve done it all for his approval. In reality, you did it to have friends, to stay close to your brother.

And look how that turned out.

“Just hug me.” You tell Iwa, well aware that Toruu’s going to barge in any second, still immensely jealous of his friends. Well aware that your parents only allow Iwa in your room because there’s nothing going to happen. Ever.

You allow yourself to cry a little bit over it, but only when he’s gone and Toruu’s bedroom door has closed behind him too.

-

College is so much harder than you thought it would be.

You barely make it onto the Volleyball team, you’re behind on your reading, your assignments, cleaning your room.

All you want is to go home for the weekend and hide under your sheets until mom calls for dinner.

Instead you dress up for a party you don’t want to go to, invited by a guy you can’t even remember the name off.

But he’s two years older than you and the thought that he could be interested - and that Toruu’s not here to ruin it - is exhilarating.

-

Hours later you stumble down the stairs outside, the world spinning around you.

You’re going to throw up any second, you think, or crash into something.

Someone grabs your arm instead and you turn, hand raised to slap whoever’s daring to touch you.

“Whoa, princess, chill! It’s me.”

There’s only one person in the world calling you that.

“Mattsun?” You blink up at him, half of his face light up by a streetlamp. It’s him, but he looks concerned.

“You’re not okay?” You ask him, your tongue struggling to form the words.

“I should ask you that.”

“‘m fine.” You stagger a bit. “Just… need to throw up, I think.”

“When’s the last time you ate something?” 

Why does he wanna know, you wonder, as you try to figure out the answer to his question.

“Well, I had breakfast. And they had some crackers inside, but they tasted awful.”

“Yeah, come on.” He pulls you forward slightly, slinging one arm around your back to keep you upright. “Let’s go get you something to eat. What do you think of Chicken Nuggets?”

“Yay,” you sway slightly as you try to do a happy dance, “Chicken Nuggies!”

-

Maybe it’s the bright light or the fact that the world has stopped spinning after Chicken Nuggets, fries and two cups of coffee, but Mattsun looks worried as he watches you dip the last of his fries into the ketchup.

He also looks older and taller, if that’s even possible.

“Why were you at that party?” He asks.

You shrug. “Got invited.”

He sighs. “But drinking? You’re what-”

“I’m nineteen,” you remind him, “Two years younger than you.”

He looks unconvinced and you lean forward to glare at him. 

“You threw up on Toruu when you were 17, piss drunk after trying my father’s sake.”

He has the decency to blush at the memory.

Silence falls over the two of you.

It’s a comfortable silence, even after so much time passing. 

You’ve barely seen Mattsun in the last two years. He’s been at your graduation, Makki too. But it had always felt a bit forced, wether it was them watching one of your matches or taking you out to ice cream on a random tuesday after school because they were College boys and could afford it.

It always felt like the shadow of your brother kept looming over you, reminding you that he was supposed to be at the table with you, Iwa included.

Mattsun clears his throat and you look up, surprised at the serious look on his face.

“Oikawa is going to kill me for this,” he mumbles before raising his voice to a normal volume. “What’s your schedule like? We could go to the cinema this weekend. There’s this new movie from that series you’ve always watched?”

You blink, surprised that he noticed that. He’s never been one for movies, not like Makki and you. He’d always rather stayed in and watched a rerun of his favorite series or blackmail Toruu to let you play Mario Kart with the four of them.

“Sure. Makki coming too?”

He blushes again, but this time without obvious reason.

“No. It would be just the two of us.”

You blink again. “Do I have to pretend to be your girlfriend? Do you know someone working at the Cinema?”

The sigh Mattsun lets out could move mountains.

“What?” You ask, defensively.

“I’m asking you out. On a date. A real date.” He presses the words out between his teeth, his hands already in his hair, pulling at the strands in thinly veiled despair.

“Oh.” You make. Then. “Oh?” And “OH!”

“Yeah.” The smile he’s giving you looks painful. 

“But-” You start, but close your mouth again, too stunned to speak.

Mattsun rubs at a spot of dried ketchup on the table, his face the colour of Makki’s hair.

“Like, I’ve been trying to for years, but you always ask if Makki’s coming too. And I thought I’d have more time to get you to like me like that, but you’re already going to parties you probably shouldn’t be at and, well, better shoot my shot now and get an honest reaction than just keep hoping, right?”

There are a million things you want to say, and a million more you want to ask.

But in a way, it all makes sense, looking back.

How he’s always called you princess, has always been the only one doing it.

The fact that he’s never missed a game of yours or had a really good excuse.

Makki always having an excuse to get you to pretend you’re Mattsun’s girlfriend.

Iwa might have been your first crush but you’d always been closer to Mattsun than any of them, even your brother.

You laugh at the absurdity of it, how you’ve been to blind to see it until you. 

“Toruu would hate that.” You say and realize, just as you say it, that you don't care. "Sure. Let's go out."

You stretch your hand out to shake his, to press his absurdly large hand, and grin mischievously back at him.

“But let’s keep it a secret from him. Just for now. I want something just for the two of us.”

The smile that’s growing on his face now, slow at first, but faster by the second, is something you’ve never seen before. Something you want to see again and again and again.

-

"Makki knows," Mattsun tells you as you wait in line for the popcorn.

You'd been obsessing over what to wear for hours, even going as far as to text some of the girls from your high school Volleyball team.

"So you finally started caring?" One of them asked and you'd chewed on that thought up until the moment Mattsun knocked on your door, his hair messed up just the right amount, his cheeks a little pinker than usual.

"He's not going to tell Toruu or Iwa, is he?"

"Nah." Mattsun shakes his head and if his hand brushes yours on accident, it stays where it is, the warmth of his hand seeping into yours.

You kiss him in the middle of the movie, not caring for whatever is happening on the screen.

He tastes like the candies you used to share on your fake dates in High School and the hopeful thrill of the future.

-

"Hey, Princess." Mattsun's waiting outside the gym, his large hand enclosing yours as you step closer and he bends down to press a kiss to your lips. "Great game."

"Thanks, I know." You wave at the girls leaving, some of them waving back at you.

"You look tired." You tell Mattsun as he leads you down the street towards the bus station, your hands swinging between you.

"That internship is kicking my ass." He tells you, his thumb rubbing over the back of your hand. "And I still need to write that assignment I told you about."

"You haven't finished yet?"

"No." He yawns loudly. "But I took some notes while you were warming up."

"Babe." You stop in front of the subway entrance and look up at him. "I love that you come to all my games, but that assignment is more important."

He smiles. "I love when you get all serious."

"I love you." 

Pink floods his cheeks at your words. You're surprised, that they slipped out just like that, but you're not taking them back, too sure of their truth.

"You know." He mumbles awkwardly, "I always thought you had a crush on Iwa. Makki was the one shipping the two of us."

“I did have a crush on him.” You agree, your hand pressing his to let him know there’s more coming. “When I was, I don’t know, seven years old?”

Mattsun’s face lights up with one of his cheekiest grins. “What? You were not into his biceps?”

“Nah. Turns out I’m more into idiots who tell me fun facts about embalming.”

His smile turns wicked. “Yeah? Guess what; I’ve got some you probably haven’t heard yet.”

-

It’s one of those mornings where not enough sleep does not mix well with trying to act human.

A phone rings somewhere on your left and you grab it, trying to silence the alarm without looking. Instead you hear the well known sound of a video call connecting.

Your brain isn’t as quick as the internet these days and you’re still blinking into the camera as Iwa blinks back, less tired but more confused.

“I thought I called Mattsun-” He starts at the same time reality introduces itself to your brain. You fling the phone through the room and it lands on the carpet next to the door, the call still connected.

You scramble out of bed, well aware now that you look like you’ve spent the night not sleeping - it’s the upcoming exams, you swear - wearing one of Mattsun’s old shirts.

Iwa’s still calling your name and you pick up the phone again, staring at him with as much determination as you can muster.

“No word to Toruu.”

He looks as tired as you’ve felt just minutes ago. “Sure. Sure. I don’t even wanna know. Can you bring Mattsun on the call?” 

-

“Hey Princess,” Mattsun greets you when you stumble through the door of his shared apartment, bags of groceries in your hands.

“Hey.” You stand on your tiptoes to kiss him on the lips, handing half of the bags to him. “I got the new Ramen you like.”

“Get a room.” Makki groans from the kitchen table where he’s working on assignments.

“Sure.” You tell him, “But the walls aren’t soundproof.”

“Not fair.” He whines. “Why don’t I have a girlfriend?”

“No clue.” You tell him as you start unpacking. “Maybe it’s because you have no job?”

“An unflattering hairstyle?” Mattsun offers.

“Because you chew with your mouth open?”

“Because you always lose in Mario Kart?”

Makki huffs at that. “The disrespect I have to endure in my own home. Oh, Shittykawa is calling.” He picks up before you can tell him not to, leaving you to dive under the kitchen counter. 

Mattsun is left standing next to you, hiding his laughter at your situation in his palm as he nudges you with his foot.

“I’m gonna bite you.” You tell him, showcasing your teeth.

“Sure, if that’s your kink.” Mattsun teases, only for Makki to yell “I told you to get a room!” 

This time, however, Toruu hears it too.

“Who’re you talking to?”

“Eh. Mattsun’s girlfriend.”

“Mattsun has a girlfriend?” You can hear your brother’s voice clearly, the curiosity in his voice. 

Just above your head, Mattsun wiggles his fingers, a silent sign for you to take his hand and get up, to let go of that secret. After all, everyone else already knows.

And what’s Toruu even gonna do? He’s all the way in Argentina.

That’s the thought that pushes you to grip his hand and shoot up from behind the kitchen counter, mischievous grin on your lips.

“You called?” You ask.

“Is that my sister?” Toruu’s voice reaches a height you’ve never heard before.

Makki looks at you, sees you nod and turns his laptop so that you and Mattsun are in full view.

“If you don’t like it, that’s your problem.” Your voice is calm but your heart still races.

“But I thought you liked Iwa.” Your brother just looks confused.

You laugh, wholeheartedly, mountains toppling off your chest. “Dude, you’re so bad at reading women, it’s no surprise you’re still chasing a ball.”

Toruu gapes at you. “The disrespect.” He calls out. “Mattsun! I thought you were my friend!”

“Nah.” Mattsun grins and pulls you closer. “I know which Oikawa I’m picking.”

“Makki?” Toruu asks, his pout even audible in his voice.

“Depends on if she’s cooking tonight,” Makki tells him. “I can be bought with good food.”

“You can cook yourself.” You tell him and he pulls a face.

“And I’m Shittykawa’s friend again.”

You listen to them talk on with only half an ear, distracted by the way Mattsun grins down at you.

“What?” You ask.

“Went better than expected?” He asks. You shrug. His grin grows.

“What?” You ask.

Instead of an answer, he leans down to kiss you. You step on your tiptoes in anticipation, meeting him halfway.

Somewhere behind you, you hear the sentence that has grown to be the soundtrack of your relationship, now spoken by two voices instead of one.

“Get a room!”

my Kofi if you want to tip me

[s1llysmut]

NSFW Alphabet for Lucifer

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He is immediately asking you if you need anything, getting you water, snacks, running you both a bath, cuddles. Surprisingly if you take a bath with him it won’t lead to more sex unless you initiate it. Don’t get me wrong, he loves having sexy time with you but he also loves those intimate moments after sex.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favourite body part of himself is probably his tongue. He considers himself quite talented when it comes to oral. His favourite body part of yours is definitely your thighs. He LOVES to squeeze them and have his head between them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He LOVES to cum inside of you. He literally begs you for it every single time.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He loves to be pegged. Honestly is that really a secret though?

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He is extremely experienced. I mean come on this is the king of hell we’re talking about, of course he knows what he’s doing! How else did he pull Lilith AND Eve?!

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He loves missionary because he can see your beautiful face but he also loves being ridden. He just loves when you use him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He definitely allows himself and you to be goofy. However if it’s your first time together and you laugh at a mistake he makes he might get a little insecure.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He doesn’t shave but he does keep it well trimmed. It’s blonde like his hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He is extremely romantic. He is such a sap I swear to god. He would unironically do those cliche rose petals and candles. Don’t laugh at him okay? He’s trying to be a good partner.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I have a feeling he gets morning wood like every single damn morning so I feel like he masturbates mostly in the mornings. Only if you’re not there to help him though.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He loves being praised. He’s a sucker for it. Tell him he’s making you feel good and he’ll fold entirely. BUT he also likes being degraded to a degree. Call him a good little slut and he’ll die.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere literally anywhere.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Praise, teasing touches, slight degradation, whispering in his ear, etc.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Knife play. He doesn’t wanna hurt you ever. No matter how much you reassure him it would still make him way too anxious.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves when you suck him off but he also loves eating you out/sucking you off. He loves your thighs wrapped around his head and as I said before he’s very skilled with his tongue.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

That depends on what you want. He however prefers to go slow and sensual. He wants to feel every inch of you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He doesn’t mind them however he does prefer to take his time with you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yes he will definitely take risks. He’s a sucker for you so he’s willing to try pretty much anything if it’ll make you happy.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go probably quite a few rounds. I’m thinking maybe 5? He likes being overstimulated.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He probably owns a dildo and a fleshlight for himself when you’re not around.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He might tease you a little bit but like I said, he’s down bad for you, anything you ask you will receive.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

If he’s dominant he’ll be moaning and grunting , some panting here and there too. However, if he’s the submissive, he is full on whimpering and whining.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He would 100% let you step on him. He loves when you’re dominant so much.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s thickkkk. He’s about 7 or 8 inches long too. You’re in for a longgggg night.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He has a fairly high sex drive. He likes doing it daily soooo good luck.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As soon as he’s sure you’re comfortable and content, he’ll cuddle up and sleep with you.

[oatmealdoodles]

*Spoilers for HB Full Moon*

I don’t have my thoughts coherent enough to make a clear post so im just gonna ramble

GOD this episode was a trip. Was expecting it to all be Stolitz, and then it took a hard turn with the Cherubs and the FBI, and to be honest I couldn’t care less about them. It wasn’t bad by any mean, but I was disappointed to see over half the episode titled “Full Moon” was gonna be about something other than Stolitz

And then in the last FIVE MINUTES they pull out all the stops and give us this

VIV YOU WERE HOLDING OUT ON US

I love the way this episode did misunderstandings, which is something people usually hate, because you can SO EASILY see where everyone’s coming from, and they are both completely justified. Stolas only meant good, he wanted to break the toxic deal he had with Blitzo, and he was very thorough about it. But he took Blitzo’s first bad reaction as a sign that he didn't love him, instead of giving him time to think. And Blitzo’s first reaction to someone loving him and genuinely wanting the best for him to be that they’re faking it HURTS. His outburst seems irrational but when you take into consideration how much he’s been rejected, it almost makes sense that he would assume Stolas is getting rid of him, because he’s SO CONVINCED that no one could ever love him.

And I was expecting pain, but I was NOT expecting Stolas to be choking through his tears hurt by Blitz

THIS WAS A STEP TO FAR VIV I THOUHT WE WER FRENDS

I also LOVE how this episode establishes Stolas’s charachter growth. Going back to the first episode, Im sorry but these are NOT the same people

Before Stolas was cruel and dismissive of Blitzo, only wanting to sleep with him. But now he’s grown into someone who genuinely loves him, and is willing to give up their relationship if thats what would make Blitzo happy. And this was all super subtle, over the course of many confrontations. You almost don’t realize it’s happening, but it feels so natural. You can FEEL how much Stolas loves Blitzo in this scene, and genuinely wants the best for him.

Also How Blitzo looked so HAPPY to see Stolas, he went on a night out shopping for him and looked SO EXITED to finally see him. And just how DESPERATE he looks when Stolas is saying he wants the grimware back, literally crying and begging Stolas to reconsider. I dont think I need to say this but I dont think this is about the book. GOD I hurst that the first time we’ve seen Blitzo exited about seeing stolas AND IT END LIKE THIS.

There are also so many parallels with Blitzo and Stolas switching sides, Blitz now being the h0rny one and Stolas the one who truly cares. It’s a ‘how the tables have turned” that makes this episode all the more painful once you realize:

(thanks to @timkontheunsure and @miyakuli for pointing these out)

And BROOOO THE CHANDELEIR FROM WHEN THEY WERE KIDS IN THE FINAL SHOT I didnt even realize this at the beginning but whYYY?

edit: I LOVE people pointing out that Blitzo screaming at Stolas might have reminded him of his toxic relationship with Stella, which might be why he shut down and cried, because that’s what he did with her.

anyways I think that’s all I got so have some Fizzy to cheer you up

[unoislazy]

More Mizu NSFW Headcanons

A/N: I wrote most of these while incredibly drunk last night and went back to fix them. They’re not SUPER feral but clearly someone’s getting more comfortable with the idea of writing out NSFW

Ray don’t judge me for these

|:T

HER HANDS

probably a bit tough because of all the constant training she does

Her fingers are very long and slender

The perfect length for reaching… hidden areas

Just because her hands are rough doesn’t mean she is

She has the capability of being extremely gentle if she wants to be

When holding you while cuddling, you’d feel like her hands are as soft as clouds

They’d probably be extremely cold all the time

Blatant NSFW

She’d definitely love restraining your hands with hers, especially if her hands are bigger than yours

She’d have you pinned to the ground

One of her hands holding both of yours above your head

Her knee pushing up between your legs ever so slightly

She’d be slightly moving it up and down, just enough for it to be noticeable

She doesn’t have much experience but she takes fake it till you make it to a whole new level

Feeling her other hand very gently drag down the sides of your body as she stares at you from above

Entirely focused on you

She’d make her way down, never breaking eye contact

Her hand following, not to far behind

As she moves down her other hands grip on your hands would loosen but she’d trust you’d know better than to move at this point

Her cold fingertips gently drag across your stomach and down, down, down, and then swiftly onto your thigh instead

She would tease the hell out of you with her touch

Like I mentioned in a different headcanon list she’d probably be very inclined on making you beg for more

Even if you did she’d still make you wait just a bit more, just to be annoying

Kinks and stuff

she’d be willing to experiment given her lack of experience

pleasure dom

She’d probably be into hair pulling

Whether she’s doing the pulling or getting her hair pulled idk I feel like she’d be into it

She’d also probably be an exhibisionist on the downlow

Like it’s not one of her main things but she won’t pass up an opportunity

She’s canonically very loud so why not make it a challenge to see if you both can keep quiet

She’s incredibly stubborn so you know she’s not losing

Given the fact that I’ve already established she’d be willing to tease you in any way possible

Edging.

She’d do it to you literally what more do you want me to say about that

She’d probably be pretty easy to rile up depending on how long you’ve been together

The longer you’ve been together the easier it would get

Especially if you would try and get her back for all the teasing she does to you

She’d probably have some knife related thing going on

She’d never hurt you nor would she even think to threaten you, it more just be the thrill of having a knife there

If Mizu wanted to kill you, she would’ve, so you knew you’d be safe regardless

But just to be on the safe side the blade is dull anyway

[envy-of-the-apple]

ok I'm SO glad you love to answer questions bc I have so many. First of all, how will gojo act when Ms moon is completely under his thumb as a pregnant housewife? Will he be kind until she hurts his domestic fantasies (by having breakdowns from being trapped in a golden cage, for eg), will he put up with her pregnancy mood swings and try to spoil her or will he leave all that to the servants and just come home for the sex or wtv? And omg what kind of a dad will he be?? Basically, will he maintain any actual intimacy (beyond sex) w her after he "owns" her or will he be typical neglectful rich husband and father? And omg will we cover any of this in part 2?? Love ur writing btw ❤️

Gojo will definitely be the MOST romantic. Yeah, he basically bullied you into becoming his subservient partner, and you can’t ever leave him, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun together. After your 'reunion,' he'd definitely drag you out to ride those swan boat things. And pictures! He's big on pictures.

I feel like now, when he’s older, he’ll find other ways to keep you in line other than pure bullying. He’ll probably threaten to financially ruin you. Ruin the lives of everyone you love etc etc. Technically, your new life isn’t horrible enough for you to break completely. You still have some semblance of freedom. Just don't ever run from him, again.

Satoru would definitely be a bad dad. He’ll see any kids you do end up having as “collateral” or an inconvenience he has to put up with you staying with him. Again, he doesn't truly want kids but if it'll make you stay....I think the one good thing would be that he won’t be obvious about it. He’ll smile at them, ruffle their hair, the occasional “good job buddy!”. Behind closed doors, when it’s just you and him, he’d definitely complain about the brats and the rising hints of sending them to a school overseas. He’s DEFINITELY petty enough to get jealous of his own kids. Especially when they’re babies and really dependent on you, he’ll often say things like “again? Can’t it just sleep it off?” or “you’re really lucky I’m willing you share you with them”. It’d get better as they grow older and less and less dependent on you.

He provides for them, financially at least. Gojo will hire Nannies and whoever you want to come care for your kids. If it’s the middle of the night and your child wakes up crying, with enough begging from you he MIGHT reluctantly get up to rock your kid back to sleep. But mostly, you and the nannies care for the kid.

He’s not completely heartless. Once the kids get a tad bit older and start relying on you a little less, his relationship with them may change. It entirely depends on the kids, though. If they consider him their personal hero he might develop a soft spot for them. If they don’t, then he’ll just tolerate them for your sake.

[adventuringblind]

If you’re still taking requests, can you please write a wolff!reader x charles leclerc fic? And they’re secretly engaged and in love and toto finds out and he doesn’t want them together and tries to break them up. Maybe they break up for toto and then he sees how sad they are w/o each other and how happy they were together? Angst to fluff and happy ending please 😭💕💕 Tysmmm i love your work sm

Romeo and Juliet

Charles Leclerc X Wolff!Reader

Genre: ANGST lots of it but a happy fluffy ending

Request: yes, and forbidden love? Yes please! Sorry if this is darker then you were thinking… I got a little carried away 😅. I am open for requests! Mainly for Max, Charles, Oscar, Lando, Daniel, and George.

Summary: Reader and Charles are in love. Unfortunately for them, Toto is determined to keep them apart.

Warnings: Angry Toto, sad reader, Charles trying to problem solve. MENTIONS OF SH but not description of it, MENTIONS OF SUICIDAL IDEATION but again nothing descriptive, bullying and toxic media.

Notes: written in third person. Please like, comment, and reblog. I like to hear from y'all. It makes me feel like a celebrity 🥹.

Also, I've sent up my account to let tips be enabled. I was debating whether or not to say this because i dont want to sound like im begging, but frankly, people opinions do not matter me me. If you like my writing and want to support me, please consider tipping my posts or my blog. I put a lot of effort into my writing, and it would mean the world to me. Obviously, I won't have my feelings hurt if you ignor this, but I wanted to put it out there.

Masterlist

She’d never been quite sure how it happened. How she managed to find her soulmate. The two are meant for each other. The only downside is that she is living a Romeo and Juliet parody.

Being a Wolff meant spending majority of her time around the race track or at the factory. From the time she was little, she was following her dad around.

Toto never had any hard and fast rules regarding being friends with people from other teams. He couldn’t stop her from being friends with those she spent majority of her time around. He did, however, have rules about dating. Mainly not to date a driver and if she was then he would allow a Mercedes driver.

So her options were Lewis and George. She liked both, but not in any romantic way. They are her brothers. She annoys them and them tease her and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Her and Charles had been friends since he first started with AlfaRomeo. The two clicked instantly and talked constantly. She was the first person he looked for after a good race or a bad one. He was her everything and she was his.

Four years later they started dating. Secretly, of course, because she didn’t want her dad smashing anymore headphones. They made it work and were willing to do what it took.

It helped that she already lived in Monaco since that’s where majority of her friends lived. It made sense why they would ‘run into each other’ so often since they live in a small place.

George found out by accident right before a race. He’d found her phone in the ground. It had fallen out of her pocket and she’d not noticed. When she had noted it’s disappearance, she tried to locate it by calling it with Charles phone.

George took one look at the caller ID and knew. The less then friendly contact name, mix of heart emoji’s, and Charles contact photo gave it away. He answered anyways. If Charles knew where she was then at least he could give her phone back.

“Hello, this is George.” He only got silence in return. “Hello…?”

“Please tell me you didn’t see the called name.” Came her voice from the other end. The desperation in your voice making him chuckle. He was never going to let her live this down.

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. Now can you please come get your phone.”

The two lovebirds were able to make more things work after. Being able to have George cover form them helped immensely. Dates became more frequent. Places they wouldn’t normally go were suddenly a possibility.

Lewis caught on eventually. He saw right past the sheepish smiles of George and Y/N. While she was sneaking back in the garage through George’s driver room.

Between George and Lewis the teasing only escalated, but the two of them were the best possible wingmen she could have asked for. They managed to distract her father away when she was cutting things close.

It didn’t last forever though. The ending of Romeo and Juliet isn’t a happy one.

Someone had managed to take a picture of them kissing. It was a cute picture. Charles kissing her on what was supposed to be a private beach during the sunset. A picture that she woke up to circling the medial faster that the cars on race day.

Charles woke up to her rapid breathing. Her phone lighting up the dark room with constant notifications. Charles wrapped his arms around her. “It’s alright amour. We’ll figure this out on day at a time.

Things were weird after that. She clung to Charles as she was ripped to shred by the media, the fans, and her father.

She was being called a traitor to her fathers team. Her father had labeled her disrespectful. It was an utter nightmare.

The two Mercedes boys stood protectively behind her. Toto’s voice getting louder by the second. She was still sitting in the chair opposite his. Her eyes downcast to the lightly colored desk.

“I don’t understand why you chose him. A rival team! How do I know your not telling him everything about our operations?” Toto’s voice was laced with venom. This arms waving around to exaggerate his point.

“Because I love him. And I would never do that to you.” She wanted to stay strong, but the tears were threatening to spill over.

“I don’t want to see you back here until you two are broken up.” He turned his back to her.

She quickly exited, George following close behind her. Lewis remained in the office.

“I think you’re being too hard on her.” Lewis pointed out. Still leaning in the wall close to the door. His arms crossed over his chest, staring at the team principal he holds immense respect for.

“Aren’t you concerned at all?”

“No, she loves her family to much to do anything like that.” Then he left. Finding the girl he considered his sister clinging to George’s shirt.

Both of them had seen the comments. Both had been asked about it during interviews. Both had told their fans to leave her alone. It hurt both of them to see how people were treating her. The names they felt no remorse for spewing. It made them sick.

Charles’ fans were not any better. He hated seeing them tell her nasty things. Spreading rumors they knew nothing about.

He’d tried reassuring her constantly that she is his everything, but he knew she was losing her family. The last thing he wanted to happen. He wanted to protect her from this. Guilt wracking his body because he felt powerless to do anything.

When he found her that day, sobs wracking her body as she went to find him, he knew how he could help her. The last option either of them wanted.

“I love you so much.” He said, cupping her cheek gently, letting the tears roll down his cheeks and attempting to wipe away hers. “But I don’t want you to lose your family because of me.”

Charles called George that day to tell him want he was going to do. George having understood his actions and promised to be there for her. So when the broken girl showed up at his house that night, eyes red and puffy, he’d already been ready for her. Carmen making sure that she had extra clothes for her in case she ended up staying awhile.

Charles’ next stop was to see Toto. The older man hardly sparing him a glance as he walked into the office. “I’m sorry for any inconvenience I may have caused you.” He started. Toto still faced the wall, refusing to look at him. Something Charles was grateful for. “Me and your daughter have parted ways. So, I’ll hope you’ll allow her to stay with her family. Neither of us wanted things to happen this way. But I’d rather lose her then watch her lose everything she’s grown up with and worked for.”

Charles waited a moment to see if he’d get a response before turning around and ducking out of the office.

He stayed with Pierre that night. Broken and defeated. His heart heavy with the sadness and longing to be with the woman he loved so dearly.

The media didn’t stop though. The news around them still trending. People still feeling the need to voice their disgusting comments.

Toto had tried to connect with his daughter, but received no response. In fact, nobody had. She hadn’t been to a race in months. Both George and Lewis had tried calling and texting her only to receive nothing in return. She hadn’t even read their messages.

Charles was hurting as well. He didn’t want to cause her anymore pain. So he distanced himself from everything that related to her. Carlos and Pierre had been watching his behavior. His head clearly not in a good place mentally. They were running out of ideas in how to help him.

Lewis was the one who caved first. He’d given her enough space, now it was time to invade it. He dragged George with him to her apartment in Monaco one morning. Determined to see proof that she was at least breathing.

When they got no answer, they searched for the spare key. The one she hid in the light above her front door. Relief flooding them both as George managed to locate it.

When they finally got the door open, they were greeted with the dark apartment. It looked like no one lived there. The fridge was empty and the cupboards almost mirrored it, aside from the open box of your favorite cereal.

There was broken glass along the counters and floor. Pictures had been taken off the walls. A few empty bottles of alcohol lay strewn along flat surfaces.

The woman they’d been looking for was wrapped in a blanket on the couch. Her chest slowly rising and falling.

George went to gently try and pull her from her sleep without scaring her.

Lewis on the other hand, went to investigate the rest of the rooms. Terrified at what he’d discovered.

He lightly jogged back to George, who didn’t want to pull her from her peaceful slumber, and tapped his shoulder. Motioning for the younger Brit to follow him.

Their first stop was the bedroom. Everything that reminded her of Charles had been stripped away. leaving only the mattress in the center of the room. The long mirror hanging next to the closet had been shattered. The glass that had fallen out of it scattered around the base word they’d seen people calling her written in thick black marker now divided by cracks.

Next, Lewis led them to the bathroom. The sight of it making George want to vomit. The bathroom mirror had also been cracked. Towels stained red line the countertop. Pills litter the bathroom floor. And the knife she’d been gifted by her father for her 18th birthday lay on the edge of the sink. 

Who is obviously what had happened here recently.

George who was struggling to look at the scene went back to trying to coax the woman, his sister, out of her slumber. Lewis making an attempt to at lease get the area safe. Their hearts hurt for her. They knew she was hurting but neither knew it had gotten so bad.

Charles was her soulmate. Both her and Charles knew it. They had envisioned their life together. A life that she saw every time she closed her eyes.

She tried to separate herself from his memory. Tried to distract herself. But she couldn’t get her mind away from him. How he made her smile. How he listened even to the pettiest things she complained about. She wanted that back.

If her family didn’t want her for it and Charles couldn’t stand to see her hurting, then she would get back there on her own.

If their story was like Romeo and Juliet’s, why shouldn’t it end in tragedy as well?

But their story keeps going. Because they are meant for each other. So they will find away even if they don’t know it yet.

The gentle touches of Charles ghosted over her bare arms. Her mind trying to hold into the feeling even if he wasn’t here.

She cracked her eyes open to the dark room. Her body revolting as she tries to sit up. Her dehydration finally getting to her. Her head pounding from last night events.

She’s had a few episodes like this and knows she needs to get help. She doesn’t know where to start though.

She hadn’t really eaten much the last sixth months. Even food reminded her of him. How was she ever going to move in at this rate?

Then she noticed the sounds of breathing beside her. The familiar face of George greeting her, though his eyes are sad.

She immediately sits up. The horrible scene that is her apartment now clearly seen by one of the last people she wanted to know she’d sunk this far.

“George?” Her voice merely a quiet rasp.

“It’s okay now, we’re gonna help you. Okay?” His voice cracked. The male is clear distress.

Lewis came around the corner upon hearing voices. Relieved that she’d woken up. “I think we need to talk.”

~

Charles hadn’t been staying at his apartment. He knew he wasn’t in a good place mentally, so he went back home. His mother welcomed him with open arms, sad to hear the news of the two splitting.

He’d talked to Lewis and George about her during race weekends. Their lack of knowledge causing his concern to grow more with each passing week.

He’d tried for sixth months to force himself to move on but he knew it was in vain. She was made for him and he belonged to her. How was he supposed to move on from that?

Pascale had struggled watching her middle child. He struggled to eat, struggled to sleep, to the point it was affecting his performance.

“You should talk to her.” She suggested.

“I’ll only hurt her more.”

“I’ve been looking in social media for her. The things people are saying is terrible.” She sighs, the situation itself only getting worse. “She needs you.”

~

Toto knew he messed up. As soon as he’d made her choose, he knew. Only to have it confirmed when he heard the waver in Charles voice. When he didn’t see his daughter for moths. As he watched Charles performance fall.

He’d tried to contact her. Susie had encouraged him to call her the night everything happened. He’d received no response for sixth months. He’d asked Lewis about her only to be met with his sigh and sad eyes.

It’s like she disappeared from the planet. Everyone worried about her. But they collectively decided that maybe she needed space.

He knew she and Charles were happy together. He’d seen how big her smile was when she was with him. Even when he thought they were just friends. The two of them had been contagiously happy.

~

The next race came around quickly. At least for Charles that’s how it felt as he strode to the Mercedes paddock.

He spotted Lewis and George and weaved his way towards them. Everyone trying to get one roared for the weekend. Exactly what he should be doing.

“Charles! Listen mate-“ George had started. But Charles cut him off with the urgent need to speak with Toto before he could get in his head. “I need Toto. I need to see her again.” He was ready to break.

“He’s in his office.”

Charles didn’t waist any time making his way there. The older man a bit startled at the sudden appearance. “I love your daughter. I am begging you to not make her choose.” He was pleading but he didn’t care.

“I’m sorry.” Toto looked pained. Charles is taken off guard by it. His reaction the last thing the monegasque was expecting. “I should have never made her choose. She was happy with you. So when you go get her back, tell her I’m sorry and that I want her to come home.”

Charles fumbled around with his words. Gesturing wildly with his hands but for some reason his voice was stuck in his throat. Eventually he just nodded his head, attempting to get across his thanks.

Lewis and George were still talking. So he did the only logical thing and tackled then both in a hug. “I need to know where she is. He’s not going to make her choose.” The smile on his face so big it might fall off. “Please tell me where she’s been staying.”

Lewis and George shared a look. One that didn’t go unnoticed. “We need to talk.”

~

They’d told him about her state. About what she’d been going through. How they found her that morning, alone and so far into her head they didn’t know if she was going to come out.

His heart shattered listening to them. The two were connected deeper then anything he could’ve imagined. He’s upset that he didn’t get the courage to fight for her sooner.

She’d been spending her time since they found her with either if the boys. Neither wanted to leave her alone after that. So they made sure she wasn’t alone after that.

Her apartment was still mildly wrecked but they weren’t worried about it. They just wanted to get her out of her head.

Now he had a chance. They had brought her with them. She didn’t want to come to the track so she was back at the hotel. Tucked away from the world.

Now Charles was speeding to her location. Lewis’ key card in hand. Determination filling his veins. He needed to see her, desperately. His heart ached the last six months. He didn’t want to never see her again. Charles loved her with his entire being.

The trip was a blur for him. Not even realizing he was at the door until he had no more steps left to take.

He decided to knock first. He wanted to be respectful. He’d use the key as his last resort.

He got nervous when the handle turned. What was he going to say? He didn’t have time to think about it as the door swung open. Revealing the love of his life. Still as beautiful as when he last saw her. Though his heart dropped at the sight.

Bags under eyes, her body smaller then he remembered. Then there was the white bandages running up her arms. She was wearing a tank top and sweats, obviously not expecting him to show up.

They stared at each other for a moment. Then the tears started. She was in his arms in a second. Clutching him like he would disappear if she let go.

He breathed her in. “I’m here, I got you, and I’m never letting you go again.”

[steviewashere]

I Am the Kiwi

Rating: General CW: None Apply! Tags: Post-Canon, Post Season 4, Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Insecure Eddie Munson, Negative Self Talk, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington Calls Eddie Munson Pet Names, Steve Harrington Loves Eddie Munson

🥝—————🥝

Maybe he shouldn’t bother their tentative relationship by asking insecure questions.

But that’s not how Eddie’s mind works. He’s never known peace unless there’s been an answer. If he senses the beginning of a question like the itchy fur of a kiwi on his tongue, he has to spit it out. And only then, even if the answer is bleak and even if the answer is negative, he’s at peace with it. He’ll just remember to cut the skin off later, taste the fruit for what it is, find something else about it to savor. Because not everything is sweet. And most of the world is bitter like the skin of that kiwi.

He peels the skin off, hair and all, offering it out to Steve to ponder. In the quiet space of his living room, surrounded by warm love in the shape of Wayne’s mug and hat collection, the five year old instruction manuals for appliances they don’t even have anymore, and amber lightbulbs stained with the broken limbs and melted corpses of stink bugs. Maybe he is an unfortunate bug, drawn to Steve’s light. Maybe he is willing to give himself, all of himself, the ugly parts and disgusting parts to something warm and savoring and bright inside Steve. He knows he is. He always has been.

In the quiet, Steve hot under his arm, droopy with fatigue, chuckling low at the sitcom on the television set, Eddie prickles with unanswered unease. He drags his rough palm down Steve’s soft right arm, fingernails dully scratching from mole to mole, pressing into his loose muscles. Eddie leans his head down, cheek laid atop Steve’s voluminous hair, and he breathes him in. Fruity sweetness, floral undertones, some sort of professional salon shampoo. He kisses tender.

“Why do you love somebody like me?” He breathes. And in the quiet, he startles himself, no matter how much that question begged to break free. Steve tenses in his hold, but Eddie can only force him in tighter. Fingers pressing harsh into his fatty parts. Nails mean and sharp and jagged. He buries himself farther into Steve’s beautiful hair.

His boyfriend is gorgeous. And he’s self-sufficient. Kind in a way Eddie seems to have forgotten to be. How can somebody like Steve love him?

Steve doesn’t answer right away. His breaths falter in the room. Like he’s trying to catch his breath after being scared in a haunted house. Maybe, if Eddie allows himself to marinate in it, maybe it’s exactly like that. There’s something rippling, haunted, venturing lonely and howling under Eddie’s skin. He thinks it started with his mom’s death, percolated when his dad went to prison, came full bloom like a crumpled flower on Wayne’s doorstep so many years ago. In a way, Steve is scared. Not scared of Eddie. Or the truth. But this third thing, of answering the question. Of finding the right words, to which Eddie knows he struggles with—so in all aspects, asking something partially insecure and partially selfish is demeaning. It’s, if Eddie thinks about it, challenging Steve’s love. 

There is no response, not yet. But what does fill between them is the live studio audience laughter. The laughter of people who probably didn’t find the joke particularly funny or even clever. They’re just there to laugh. To see behind the scenes of some TV show. To be recognized among the crowd.

Sitcom laughter. And Eddie refuses to let Steve see him.

He hears Steve take a tentative deep breath. The back of his hand touched by the softness of Steve’s palm. And he’s reminded, even in the simplest interactions such as this, that they come from two different worlds. Of all those biases he held onto for years. Unable to get over himself or get with the program. Steve is nothing of what Eddie thought. He’s a jock, sure. And he’s got the better life in some ways; nothing to really label him as other and a status that seems to override him, but it’s not negative. He isn’t a bully. He’s soft and kind and sweet and loving, not a douchebag. A good person. Where, sometimes, Eddie feels as though he lacks all the qualities that Steve seems to be plentiful in.

“Eddie—“

“No, sorry,” he apologizes immediately. His voice small and childlike. “Sorry, that’s not okay to ask. You love me and that needs to be enough.”

Then, Steve shifts. Pulling himself away, sitting on the edge of the cushion, turning to be face to face. And Eddie’s ashamed. He’s mad at himself, too. If the heartbreaking soft sadness in Steve’s eyes is anything. His little frown, pulling down his pretty lips and furrowing his eyebrows and making him wrinkle in all the bad ways. He tilts his head and peers at Eddie.

“I love you because I just do,” he murmurs, “I don’t know how to explain why I do. You’re unlike anybody I’ve ever loved.”

Eddie swallows, takes a breath, and asks, “In a good way or a bad way?”

Steve’s gaze softens. The sadness still lingering, but replaced by determination, even the lightest form of it. “Always in a good way,” he whispers. He reaches out, takes Eddie’s right hand in his left and squeezes. He’s so soft. “You know who you are. And you’re loud about it. I admire that about you.” He closes his eyes, thinking. When he’s gathered, his voice is enamored and murmuring, “And, baby, you’re gentle even if you don’t realize it. You know how and when to take care of the people around you. I’ve never—I’ve always been the one to do that in relationships. You make me feel…Complete.”

Eyes back on him, Eddie swallows most of this insecurity. “Really? You think I complete you?” He questions meekly.

Then, Steve nods, not even taking a moment to consider. Because he just knows. “Yeah,” he mutters, “I know we just started this whole…thing—“ he swings their tangled hands back and forth between them. Eddie chuckles, earning him the most earnest smile he’s probably ever seen. “But, I have a feeling that we’ve got something special. Plus, we’ve got all the free time in the world, y’know, now that it’s not ending. We’ll be okay. I love loving you.”

“I love loving you, too,” Eddie murmurs in turn. He brings his free hand up and brushes some stray strands of Steve’s hair back. Thumb tickling down his temple, swiping under his eye where it’s heavy and blue. “I’m sorry for doubting your love.”

“Honey,” Steve sighs. “It’s really okay. I get it, you know? Everybody has their insecurities. Hell, I have some deeply awful ones.” He leans into Eddie. His warmth radiating once more. Breath ghosting over his cheek, words soft, “I will always reassure you. Because I know you’d do the same for me.” And then, Steve presses a tacky, sweet kiss to his cheek. The tip of his nose crumpling with the soft plunge he gives into Eddie’s skin. He is cracked open raw and for once, instead of being turned away or shunned, somebody is there to enjoy him. Steve is there to savor. “You’re special,” he whispers, “my special one.”

Eddie can only melt in his hands. He’s content with this answer. Fulfilled.

This relationship may be new, but Eddie knows it’ll soon be something sacred. Like the sticky, sugary green insides of a ripe kiwi.

🥝—————🥝 Fun fact, I'm allergic to kiwis. Found this out after my tongue got itchy from the skin of a kiwi. That was a scarring thing to discover in the middle of my kindergarten snack time, tell you that much. Haven't had one since.

[itsabouttimex2]

Can you do escape attempt headcanons with the bullfam?? I’ve been reading your headcanons lately n they’re literally so good 😭😭!!

Bullfam

Escape Attempt Headcanons

Out of this powerful trio, I think Red Son would notice the soonest that you’ve gone out of bounds. With how likely it is that you’re wearing a collar (of his own design) with the sigil of the Bull Clan emblazoned on it, it’s very probable that he has a tracking device on you. Even if you don’t have a collar, there’s always bracelets, phones, shoes… plenty of places to snap an unassuming tracker.

So if you somehow do manage to escape, your foray back into the familiar streets of Megapolis is bound to be cut short in record time.

Red corners you as by sharply rounding the curve of an alleyway, slamming into you hard. As you stumble and fall, the prince snatches a wrist or leg (whatever’s easier) and pulls until he’s dragged you roughly across half the concrete-paved block. After your whimpers and begging turn to pained screams, the half-taurine demon blazes up a runic portal and tosses you in.

Jumping in mere seconds after, Red Son surveys the scene before that unfurls before him.

You lay curled up on the plush purple carpet sobbing into your hand as blood oozes slowly down the road rash torn across your back.

As it always does, a cold regret seeps slowly through his veins at the sight of your suffering.

Red Son hasn’t come to realize something very important to him yet- he hates hurting you.

The prince explodes in a fit of fiery wrath, lashes out, hurts you- then stews in remorse and self-anger. An uncontrollable and ever-raging wildfire that torches even that which is dearest to him.

This is the part of himself he hates the most.

The part he can’t stop from hurting you.

Damage control is the most he can manage after these little fits.

“…come on, Y/N. I’ll get the bandages.”

Oh, boy. Absolutely not. I mean, you can try. Really, feel free. Go for it.

What’s a few broken bones or bloody gashes in return for a brief glance of sunlight? For a singular breath of fresh air?

Okay, so the Demon Bull King isn’t exactly itching to hurt you. You wouldn’t be locked up inside his foundry like a fragile antique if he just wanted to grind you into a bloody smear on the concrete (that’s his son’s job) or pop you like a swollen tick. If he’s got you bolted into a nice little guest room with a Bull Clone, it because this big lumbering warlord actually and honestly cares about you.

Probably, the king sees you as a sort of “youngest child” naive and soft and so very malleable.

So the aspect of “protecting what is his” applies very strongly as the taurine demon catches sight of you fleeing, mild yellow eyes narrowing into glowing pools of fury.

This man is fast- we’ve seen it in canon. Also, his “on all fours” run?? Seeing that coming right at you, clearing miles in literal seconds??

You give up, hit the ground, and go still- if only because you’re entirely unsure of whether or not he’d actually be willing to actual physical contact at such high speeds and atomize the lower half of your body.

Instead, you allow him to corner your cowering form, not struggling as two clawed fingers pluck you off the ground. He’s too angry to even speak- and instead just fold his powerful claws around you, and the begins to stomp home.

You’ve earned yourself a custom-made metal shackle, to be worn through all through the day and night, paired with reduced rations and limited access to water.

But at least he hasn’t harmed you.

Yeah, okay. From everything we’ve seen, Princess Iron Fan is basically… unflappable and unstoppable? I can’t actually remember her directly losing a fight outside of the Sworn Brotherhood when they had the ink scroll. She’s powerful, intelligent, patient… I can’t imagine many ways to truly “get one over on her”.

An enchantment on your nape that prevents travel past a certain area. A magical tracking device planted under your skin. Cursed jewelry that tightens when you disobey. Mystical statues with strange eyes that track your every movement and spring to life when you make for the door.

It’s not happening.

You can try- Iron Fan doesn’t intervene with your escape attempts. You’re bound to fail one way or the other. Why should she waste her energy when your efforts are worthless to begin with?

At least watching your desperate struggles and harebrained schemes puts her in good mood- there’s something about your frustrated tears that she finds all too cute.

[chairofchaos]

You Deserve Better, and Other Points for Reflection

Hey friends, listen up. Real talk for a second, because nobody deserves this. And, in case anybody cares, I want you to know I come with 12 years of learning on this exact debate we have been having, because I had some very excellent fandom mentors in my communities and in the form of my uncles, who to this day support me writing and reading whatever hell I please, even in the face of protest from my immediate family. There was a lot of learning I had to do to be here with you now, and I am thankful for those people who were willing to tell me so.

If you want to post memes and think pieces and jokes and poems about a fandom debate, go ahead! You create the experience you want to see on your dash, and you will find your people.

If you want to discuss a fandom debate (a little or a lot), go ahead! I’m all for thinking through how we live and act and exist as a fan community.

If you feel that you need to take those things and turn them into vitriol to pour into the DMs and Anons of people who are running a fan week, that is not okay. Not in the slightest.

There is a big difference between debate, discussion, creative protest, and joking around, and intentionally using your words to create harm in someone’s life.

“But, Chaos, this [thing not directly sent to you/not specifically intended for you] hurt my feelings!”

Okay. Get burned once? Great! You learned something: don’t touch the hot iron again. (To translate: block the tag, block the person, whatever you need, and move on. If it isn’t for you that’s ok.) Hurt feelings are to tell you what you can and/or are willing to handle. If you don’t want to see it, block. (I love blocking tags it’s one of my little joys in life lol)

“Chaos, somebody said something really rude to me to my (virtual) face! What do I do?”

Well, you can either respond or you can block. Either way, it will probably help you to move on.

If you are responding, I beg you to keep one thing in mind. I want you to picture 7 year old you at the other end of that message. Or 13 year old you. What kind of words did they deserve to hear in a moment when maybe they weren’t getting something? Use those. Use them kindly, not in a condescending way, but in a “I want to explain this as gently as I would to my younger self” kind of way. If somebody keeps being mean, it isn’t worth it. Please use the block feature and move on. They are not worth your time.

Additionally, I would encourage you to do this: the “touch grass” mentality is something I only direct at myself. (I literally told myself to go touch grass yesterday, and there is at least one person who can corroborate that.) I stand by that decision every single day. It’s kept me out of a lot of trouble. Directing it at others does not end well, but directing it at yourself can be a good way to reflect and to consider sensible actions in the face of overwhelming situations or emotions (of which I experience many).

“Chaos, people are coming into anon and being hateful. Or just rude. Or they’re dumping triggering material into my anons.”

That is on them. That is not on you. They should not do that. And I am so sorry you are dealing with that. I’m going to be honest, I don’t know if you can block from anons (I’ve never even needed to look and so help you all if this is the post that makes me) but if you can, do. I will do what I can to help, if you need it. Regardless of where you stand on any of these issues, because I will not stand for hatred.

“I’m mad about [redacted] and I am going to be rude/mean/intentionally putting triggering material in people’s inboxes and activity feeds!”

You do that and you will be in a world of hurt, my friend. A world of hurt from yourself.

Because we create the experience we think we deserve. If you create an internet experience where it is acceptable to be hateful, vengeful, and downright cruel to other people, that is the experience you will receive in return. You deserve better than that. And if you believe that you deserve better than that but the people you’re directing cruelty towards don’t, then I want you to hear me: you will quickly find that you are not welcome anywhere. There will always be someone to disagree with. There will always be (at least) minute discrepancies in the way two or more people think, even people who are deeply similar.

Hurt the hand that reaches to help you- one day it will be raised against you in hurt as well.

As for me? Well, for that, I leave you with thoughts from George Washington’s Farewell address as paraphrased in Hamilton’s ‘One Last Time’:

“Though, in reviewing the incidents of my administration, I am unconscious of intentional error, I am nevertheless too sensible of my defects not to think it probable that I may have committed many errors.”

I am not a president (and thank god for that because who wants Chaos in charge of a country?). I am simply a fandom member. A writer. A little chaos gremlin lurking behind trees in the forest.

But like Mr. Washington, I am aware that I often fail to live up to my standards and principles. And I hope, truly, though it is wildly uncomfortable for me, that you would call me out for ways I have failed to uphold them, either in the past or in the future. (It would be super great if you like… called me out in DMs and didn’t put me on blast but oh well.)

I am in at least four other major (international, GIANT) fandoms. I am not hopeful enough to think that the ACOTAR fandom will learn from the fandoms of yore. We will have to weather these storms on our own, even with the knowledge and experiences already there. I think that’s okay. Disappointing, perhaps, but okay.

Since this post was much longer than it was intended to be, I will summarize:

If you are intentionally putting hateful materials in the inboxes, DMs, and activity feeds of people you disagree with, you will hurt yourself.

You create the experience you think you deserve, and in doing so, create that experience for others. Good or bad.

Block tags, block blogs, block what you need to enjoy the space. You will find your people.

Being intentionally cruel to other human persons is how you end up finding that nobody is “your people” because you created an environment where no one wants to be. You will be lonely and sad. Don’t make yourself lonely and sad.

I am certain I fail to uphold these principles at times. Feel free to call me out if you see me failing at these. DM appreciated, but I’m the one who invited you to do so so I’m not going to say “don’t blast me on main.” My funeral, I know.

[angeart]

hhau rescue rambles - part III

>> part I here // part II here // hhau masterpost here <<

3,3k words. cw for this one - violence, injuries, maybe mild gore?

-- The hunters come, drawn by the loud noises of panic Grian was making, unerringly making their way towards them. They yell and holler at each other and cheer, feeling triumph from cornering their prey. It’s going to be them who get the wanted poster reward money. Them who will get their hands on those rare, special, bright feathers. 

They do not hesitate to approach and attack.

Scar is tightly holding onto Grian, unwilling to let go. He’s going to protect him with everything he has, and if right now that’s just his body? If it means being a shield? He’ll do it.

He’s in his vex form, which allows the wounds to heal, but they still hurt. It still feels desperate. It still feels like there’s a limit, and the enemies are approaching, cautious around the clearly feral vex. 

Scar’s going to have to let go of Grian if they have any chance to fight them off here.

He pleads and begs, asking for Grian’s attention and trust, hoping for some coherency. Hoping, to all hells and back, that Grian can do this last thing. That he won’t run, that he won’t give up, that he won’t give himself over in some misguided attempt to protect Scar. (There’s no protecting Scar here. He’s on that wanted poster as well, after all. He’s already caught in this skirmish.)

There’s only one thing for them to do.

Fight.

So he looks at Grian, trying to anchor his panicked gaze, and begs him to fight with him. 

Please, fight with me. Please, Grian. It can be the last time.

And Grian nods. He rubs the tears out of his eyes. There’s nothing else to do here. He’s going to stand by Scar’s side and do his part in their survival, like always. Even if it might be the last time. (Grian definitely thinks the last time means something else here, but he’s willing to take as many hunters down with them as possible.) (He also thinks this just proves his point that he’s a beacon and he’ll draw danger to Scar, constantly, always, until they die.)

They slip into something learned, feral and fierce. A flash of steel and claws, blue magic and violet feathers. The panic and exhaustion take second place, pushed away entirely by a haze of a fight, blood gathering on their hands as they cover each other’s back.

It’s violent. It’s vicious.

This is how the hermit rescue party finds them. 

They’ve never seen Grian and Scar like this. They’ve never seen a scene quite like this one. But the fight is far from over, and more hunters are coming, and— The hermits don’t really get time to process what they’re seeing—what any of it means, a reflection of a year of horrors—they simply rush in to help.

Scar is relieved to see them. They can now see that Grian is alive! (And they can help keep it that way!) And Grian can see that there really is hope!

Except Grian isn’t really processing that this is their friends. His mind is completely haywire, adrenaline loud in his ears. This makes no sense to him, and he doesn’t have the space to stop and pause and take it in. It’s staticky and numb and far away, nonsensical to his frightened heart. The coherency evades him. 

There’s nothing here for Grian but blood and death and Scar Scar Scar Scar.

He barely dodges an arrow aimed at him and pounces at a hunter who was approaching Scar from the side. There’s no hesitation in his motions. No pause or remorse about fighting to death on a permadeath server. About killing, ruthlessly and brutally. It’s long since past the time when thoughts like that felt like they hold any weight.

The hermits quickly assess that this isn’t going to go well. The fight won’t easily be turned in their favour if they’re overwhelmed by numbers. They need to go. Now.

They don’t get to tell their plan to Scar and Grian. There’s no time. There’s no real way to explain anything in this chaos of a fight. They simply act.

It’s Cub who manages to get close enough to vex-mode Scar, snapping a bracelet on his wrist.

Scar barely registers that there’s something against his skin before he feels a sharp yank as he’s teleported away, without warning or consent. 

Disorientedly, he finds himself on a ship, the surroundings quiet where before everything was loud. Cub is there with him, and so is Doc and Ren and Impulse. Xisuma hurries into the room, eyes wide, asking if Scar’s okay.

Scar isn’t okay, because he is here and Grian isn’t.

Scar isn’t okay, because Grian was ready to give up and sacrifice himself before Scar found him, and now he's alone again.

Scar isn’t okay, because Grian is terrified and Scar isn’t there to help. He isn’t there to keep him grounded. He isn’t there to keep him alive through this. He—

 It doesn’t matter that Cub promises they’re coming. So very sure the others will join them very soon. Any second, really! Aaaaany second.

Scar’s going ballistic on the ship. Gone full vex brain, and they can’t snap him out of it. Doc tries to restrain him with his bionic arm, since it can resist Scar’s claws. (Scar does not like seeing a creeper right now, either. He’s not thinking straight.) Scar’s hair is still white, eyes shining blue, vex magic rampant in his veins as feral panic floods him, leaving him thrashing and yelling at them, demanding to see Grian. (They took him away, he can’t be taken away, no nononono—)

Cub keeps repeating they’re coming. They’re coming.

Scar keeps trying to fight back, get free, get them to listen to him. Insisting, urgent and panicky: Send me back send me back send me back.

A minute passes, then another.

The others aren’t showing up.

Scar’s agitation only grows. He told them. He told them that Grian needs him! They aren’t listening to him. Nobody is listening.

Impulse tells him to trust them.

Scar shouts back that he doesn’t trust anybody.

It’s bewildering and startling and wild. On top of that, Cub is freaking out, because Scar’s still in his vex form, and Cub knows all too well that it’s actively dangerous to Scar to keep holding onto that much vex magic at once for too long. That Scar needs to stop.

Scar won’t stop. Not until Grian is safe.

--

Grian isn’t safe.

The fight is messy and the hermits showed up in the middle of it and Grian isn’t processing any of it. He just knows someone’s trying to grab him, and then Scar is gone, and Grian’s left in an even worse state, everything a cacophony of danger and panic. 

Amidst the chaos of the fight, he does what he knows best: he avoids being touched. He avoids capture, which is what his brain perceives as the hermit rescue party trying to do. They need to get close to him, within touching distance, and put the bracelet on him, and— He isn’t letting them. He isn’t letting anyone near him. (Anyone but Scar.) (But Scar isn’t here anymore.)

Alarms blare through Grian’s head at the loss of Scar—his only source of safety irreparably gone in a way he can’t comprehend—hurtling him deeper into confusion and despair. Everything’s a blur of blood and adrenaline, and he’s terrified.

But Scar asked him to fight, one last time. So Grian does.

--

Scar, too, fights. 

He fights to get free, to get sent back to Grian, somehow, he doesn’t care how just send him back. He’s distressed in a way they’ve never seen, and the more time passes without the rest of the rescue party coming back, the more grim it all becomes. 

Doc is still on Scar-restraining duty. Impulse and Ren are trying to help but are lowkey pressing themselves against the walls, trying to avoid the lash out. Cub’s still trying to get to Scar, urging him to calm down before the vex magic burns him out completely (and literally). Xisuma is anxiously counting every second that the rest of the rescue crew isn’t coming, trying to process the severity of the implications without having all the informations to do so. 

And then, finally, Pearl comes through.

Only Pearl. 

She’s dazed. She’s bleeding.

Scar doesn’t care. He tries to tackle her and demand answers, Doc’s hold slipping, managing to reel him back just in time. 

Everyone’s now on high alert. They don’t know what’s going on down there and they also need to take care of Pearl’s injuries. 

Turns out, Gem triggered Pearl’s teleport to get her out of there when she got severely injured. It’s now only Grian and Gem against a whole bunch of hunters in a world that doesn’t play nice. 

Scar swivels, yanking himself free of Doc’s hold. He grabs Xisuma. “Send me back.”

Pearl’s pleading the same now. She was so close to Grian! She doesn’t know what’s going to happen now that she isn’t there. Now that she doesn’t have a chance to reach him anymore. There was so much blood everywhere. Her injuries throb in a way she’s never felt, dread thick on her tongue like blood. 

She can’t bear the possibility of this going wrong. 

Nobody can.

Impulse snaps to action (as the Unhurt Sane Person™). “Alright, that’s it. I’m going in.”

X, worried for Gem and Grian, lets him.

Which makes Scar more feral, because he also wants to go, and now he knows Xisuma is capable of sending him back. He starts straight up threatening them all, tries to snatch at the controls himself, tries to grab Xisuma by the throat, all the bad things. He yells at them that Grian’s going to die. Can’t they understand??? His words are jumbled and desperate and hard to comprehend, but he needs them to understand. He needs to go back.

His claws are still smeared by blood of the hunters. He’s still in vex form, hair white and eyes blue, fangs sharp. Breath hitching, tears dripping down his chin, heart beating wildly in his chest. He needs to go they need to let him they have to. Grian’s going to die.

Cub decides he has to make compromises. He says they have to send Scar back in. (Scar isn’t going to let go of his vex form here like this.) He makes the call to trust Scar despite all the damage he’s causing here. He approaches him, even though Scar is scary and has been lashing out, grabs his hand and presses a bracelet into it.

He tells Scar, “Save him.”

--

The second Scar spawns back down, he is welcomed by Grian’s visceral scream of pain.

His first instant thought is a harrowing not again, vividly remembering how he found Grian that very first time in this world. How close to death that ended up. How awful it was. 

He wanted to never hear that kind of sound again. And yet he keeps hearing them. Screams of pain he’ll never be able to forget.

The scene that greets him is dismal. 

Grian’s on the ground, his wing tangled into a trap that keeps dragging and ripping at it. There’s a lot of hunters trying to approach the trap—they want to kill Grian so he’d stop thrashing and tearing his wing apart, because they don’t want their precious money-making wings destroyed. Gem and Impulse are slightly off to the side, getting overwhelmed as they’re desperately trying to keep the hunters on them and away from Grian.  

It’s a blur. Scar rushes through the hunters, drawing blood as he goes, mindless and with only a singular goal in mind: get to Grian. He doesn’t care if he’s getting stabbed or sliced in the process. (It’ll heal. It’ll heal. Grian might not.) A growl rips from him, low and deep and feral. A handful of hunters startles away from Grian, stumbling out of the mad vex’s path, but it doesn’t save them from their fate.

Scar’s claws are drenched in scarlet, leaving behind an absolute carnage by the time he collapses to his knees by Grian’s side, unable to relax until he can gather Grian in his bloodied arms. 

Impulse and Gem keep fending off hunters, but they also watch this scene unfold in stolen, fragmented little moments, keeping an eye on the two of them. And it’s destabilising to witness, for very different reasons than everything else that’s happened so far.

Because it’s only when Scar has a hold on Grian does some of the white bleed out of his hair, his hands softening from claws into blunt nails and harmless fingertips. 

Because where there were only growls and snarls and seemingly no control, there’s suddenly gentleness and soft murmured words.

Because Scar kisses Grian’s hair as he soothes him, and Grian finally grows quieter and calmer, even though he’s still shivering and sobbing and clearly in immense pain.

Because Grian lets Scar put that bracelet on him so easily, so willingly, clutching onto him, Scar’s name on a desperate, hoarse, endless loop on Grian’s lips. 

It all suddenly makes a lot more sense. (They messed up taking Scar away.)

--

They all get teleported out of there, this time Grian included. 

It isn’t pretty. The trap that tears at his wing and leaves him hopelessly ground-bound is so firmly attached to him that it gets teleported with him, its sharp edges buried deep into the flesh of Grian’s wing.

He keeps freaking out whenever someone tries to approach, making it impossible for them to help.

It’d be best if Peal could come and take a look. She’s a moth hybrid, not an avian, but she still knows more about wings than any of them. (She should know a lot about Grian’s wings, their relationship once almost sibling-like, but she looks at the tangled, bloodied mess that Grian is, flinching away from her, and she is terrified, finding no traces of that bond in Grian’s frightened gaze.)

 Scar keeps holding onto Grian, blindly eager to keep everyone away as well, attuned to Grian’s panic. But his worry wins over, his adrenaline-muddied mind unable to figure out the trap without assistance.

So he eventually allows Pearl to approach.

Grian has different ideas. He’s having none of this. He doesn’t want anyone near his wings.

Determined and not seeing much of a choice here, Pearl crouches as close as Grian allows. Scar’s blocking Grian’s view, trying to redirect his attention and keep him calm through the waves of frantic, leftover but still very real panic. (He’s using his wings to block the view.) (Cub cringes at the state of them. They all do, actually, momentarily stunned but determining that this isn’t the time to ask.) 

Pearl is just close enough to inspect the tangle, and just far enough for it all to be out of reach.

It’s hard to see, through the blood and the feathers and various other bits that she really doesn’t want to think too much about.

Trying to take control over her trembling voice, she does her best to navigate Scar through it. It would’ve been so much simpler if she could do it herself—it’d probably avoid some mistakes and more damage, and it’d be faster. (Verbal navigation with frenzy-muddled thinking is difficult.)

But Grian can’t can’t can’t

Scar’s hands tremble almost the entire time. He’s still on an adrenaline rush. He’s exhausted from his magic usage—even having his wings out is a struggle.

At one point, Pearl tries to lay a soothing hand on Scar and he jumps.

And it just really settles then—that, wow, they’re both really messed up, aren’t they?

--

Scar ends up being the one to bargain with hermits. Bargaining is a strong word, it’s more of a list of demands, really. Safety lines, kind of. Grian’s still not processing quite right that this is happening—it’s a numb, almost dissociative feeling; he knows these are his friends, but he doesn’t understand how this is real, and his feelings are nonsensical and haywire. He feels very far from normal. (He doesn’t remember what normal is.) He doesn’t want anyone near.

They’re given lots of potions in lieu of a more proper medical examination, and a private shared room. Scar’s always the one to answer the door, on guard, tense even as he slips on an easygoing smile most of the times. 

They’re given new comms, which they tuck away and promptly forget about, completely unused to such a thing. 

Once things settle a bit, all the startling differences come into focus. Cub points out that Scar’s got new scars, and everyone notices his stark white streak in his hair. (Not to mention his tattered wings.) On top of that, Grian is scarred now too. And they hold themselves differently, twitching and flinching, curled up and quiet. Guarded and unapproachable. 

Everything feels horribly precarious. The hermit crew skirts the topic of what that world was like, what happened to them, never quite managing to ask in any meaningful way, even as the questions burn on their tongue. 

They’re not going to get any answers. Not now. Not for a long time.

Nothing but hints and flashes of fear in eyes and marks written deeply into skin, to stay forever, carry across respawns (which will now be a real possibility again, but it’s a concept Scar and Grian don’t know how to grasp anymore.)

The rescue crew sends a message home, to warn the others. Telling them to be careful and maybe not approach too fast. It’s vague, devoid of details. They themselves don’t really understand the triggers, after all, feeling confused. The journey home isn’t long enough for any of it to properly settle, a mere two days worth of travel until they’re within reach of Hermitcraft.

So of course the messages don’t make much sense to anyone waiting home on Hermitcraft. Everyone’s simply hyped and excited that this’s been a success, that Scar and Grian are going home!

They organise a welcome party.

It doesn’t go well.

Grian and Scar spawn in, not expecting to be instantly surrounded by people friends. It’s chaotic and loud, everyone cheerful and celebratory, ready to throw themselves at the two of them—

Except Grian’s backing away now, lowkey having a panic attack, and Scar’s protectively standing in front of him, shielding him, used to block the view of Grian’s wings on sheer instinct. Everything’s too much all at once, an onslaught of noises and people crossing lines before either of them are ready for it, and—

Well, Grian runs.

Scar, who has a slightly more solid understanding of how they’re meant to be safe now, falters. (His emotions aren’t settled at all, but he can somewhat rationalise it to himself.) (Grian can’t grasp it just yet at all.) He mumbles an anxious and slightly startled “Sorry— This— No.” Before he bolts after Grian.

The rescue crew sighs, telling the others they shouldn’t have done this. The welcome party was a bad idea. But nobody really understands. They can see now that, clearly, it was a bad idea, but they’re left reeling, trying to catch up to it. (Scar’s white streak. Grian’s scars. The panic in their eyes. Scar’s protectiveness. Grian’s fear.)

They’ve been looking forward to this reunion. They’ve spent weeks, months, feeling despair and hopelessness, an empty space left on the server where two beloved, pesky members of their family should be. And now they’re left standing here, in the wake of what should’ve been a happy occasion, all kinds of confused and concerned and confused.

Everything is far from ideal. 

They’re going to take a breath, have an (unproductive) meeting about this, and do their best to figure out what to do about this situation.

Grian and Scar, in the meanwhile, are going to dig a hidden bunker. (The others had a house prepared for them, near the shopping district, lively and easy to visit.) (They didn’t even get to tell them.) 

Well.

This is going to take some time.

But they’re home now. They’re home, and one day, that revelation is going to properly sink in.

Until then, they have each other. (And everyone else, waiting and ready for them. <3)

[m4sonn]

⋆୨୧˚The Outsiders greaser Gang x Hyperfem!reader˚୨୧⋆

Thanks to my friend @peachyponyboyy and the anon who recommended this for this story!!

ponyboy:

> doesn’t mind that you’re feminine

> genuinely doesn’t care what you wear as long as you like him back and aren’t a shit person

> if you’re a boy he’s terrified that you’re gonna get jumped so he protects you with his life, it’s Oklahoma in the 60’s I don’t imagine they’re very accepting about two gay guys and a guy who wears skirts

> he hates the way makeup feels on his face but he’ll (begrudgingly) let you practice on him every once in a while after a bit of begging and whining

> would genuinely rather kill himself than wear anything feminine

> draws you a lot, if you sew/make your own clothes he makes you outfit designs he thinks would look good on you

> likes to help styling hair and encourages you to try new things (like dye and new cuts and styles etc)

> if you’re a guy he was probably scared to introduce you to his friends and brothers in fear of them judging him and you but they didn’t mind you

> calls you “baby” and “honey”

Sodapop:

> likes more feminine people

> likes helping you choose outfits

> if you ask him for help choosing a shade he’ll ask questions like what are you wearing, how are you doing your hair, what vibe are you going for etc to make sure he chooses the best choice

> helps style your hair for you

> jokes around and lets you do makeup on him and even tries on fem clothes with you sometimes at stores

> constant shower of compliments

> talks about you like he talks about sandy in the movie

> 100/10 waist hugger, hugs you from behind and rests his head on your shoulder or back of your head

> introduced you to his friends right when you two met but introduced you as a friend and then reintroduced you as his gf/bf later when you two started dating

> calls you “cutie”, “sweet boy/girl”, “sweet pea” or “baby boy/girl” (cringe I know)

Darry:

> doesn’t mind it

> type of guy to remind you to close your legs when you’re sitting down

> makes sure your skirt doesn’t ride up too much while out in public/tells you if you don’t notice

> hates the feeling of lip gloss but is willing to get some on his lips to kiss you

> kisses your hand a lot all gentleman like

> you were probably more scared than him to meet his gang and brothers (by more scared I mean that he was totally chill abt it), he just kind of brought you along one time just randomly to a group hang out and they were just chill abt it.

> calls you “sweetie”, “honeybun”, or “peaches” (I hc his favorite fruits as peaches)

Dally:

> usually dates fem people only so you’re right up his alley (sorry mascs, he’s only for the fems‼️‼️)

> mainly only dated girls

> likes to take you shopping with the little spare money he has

> likes to see you try on clothes cause it just makes you look so happy

> adamant that he’s straight (he’s not) and if he dates a guy he says that you’re “close enough” and that it isn’t gay. He doesn’t realize how much this hurts you and only realized how this made you feel after Johnny and pony pulled him off to the side to talk to him about it cause they realized how you always got quiet and awkward after he said that

> likes his partners a bit nerdy but still confident so if you’re a dude who’s confident enough to be feminine in public but is still a little shy and has those nerd glasses he’s ALL OVER YOU‼️‼️

> probably puts his hand on your thigh under your skirt while sitting next to you

> whenever you bend over he’ll slap your ass

> likes to take you out and show you off to his friends, right off the bat when you started dating he went to his friends to show off his new partner

> calls you “pretty boy/girl”, “doll”, or “doll face”

Johnny:

> loves you for who you are and not how you dress

> constantly telling you how cute your outfits are on you

> like pony if you’re a boy he’s terrified of you being jumped for being a feminine gay guy and protects you with his life, gives you a switchblade just in case, even if both of you know you’d never use it.

> waist grabber/hugger and no one can change my mind, when you’re wearing a tighter top that shows off your waist is when he does it most

> goes feral when you wear a shorter skirt

> I don’t imagine his mom to be a very feminine person other than meeting pony boy’s mom so you are like the only feminine person he’s really ever talked to so he knows nothing about how to help with outfits or makeup etc but tries his best to help with whatever

> was trying to grab a makeup pallets for you and he dropped it and broke it and cried while apologizing

> was pretty scared to introduce you to the gang (especially if ur a boy) but he told Dallas first and helped him introduce you to the gang after reassuring both of you they’d love you (they adored you and loved that Johnny finally found someone)

> calls you “sweetie”, “darling”, or “my beautiful amazing pretty amazing most perfectest bestest boy/girlfriend (yes he would call you this)”

Two-Bit:

> usually likes more fem lovers so he doesn’t mind you being fem

> If it’s modern day he yells gyatt at you and slaps your ass when you bend over ☹️☹️

> let’s you do his makeup and sometimes his sister joins in and you two either actually do his makeup or you just smear a bunch of products in his face

> his mom and sister LOVE YOU.

> when he brought you home his sister was all over you, enjoying having another feminine person in the house other than her mom cause two bit is “a nasty stinky and unhygienic boy” and she’s “glad to know that he finally has someone who might be able to get him to straighten up a bit and stop being so gross. And maybe you can even help that drinking problem of his.”

> you cackled after she said this but two bit didn’t take it as well and chased her around the house 💞💞

> he was so excited to introduce you to the gang, right when the two of you started dating he wanted to introduce you to them but he let you choose when, they loved you :3

> calls you “babe”, “baby”, “cutie”, and “sweet cheeks” (ur literally the Minnie to two bit’s Mickey)

Steve:

> doesn’t mind that you’re feminine

> he’s gay, only dates dudes, sorry girls 😋😋😋

> doesn’t know anything about fem clothes n stuff cause he grew up with only his dad but he tries his best :///

> When you guys go to watch bull fights or drag races he totally lets you sit on his lap, he could NOT care less if people are staring.

> likes to take you to drag races and even lets you be in the car with him when he’s in one

> likes to show you off, flexes how he managed to get such a pretty bf

> touchy asf

> was scared to introduce you to his dad but he did eventually, his dad was confused (“so that’s not a girl??”, “wait so what you’re tellin’ me is yur’ one of them queers??”) and physically could not bring himself to believe you were a boy because you’re so fem, but accepts you two

> he yaps to the gang abt you, like never shuts the fuck up and it annoys the hell out of them

> introduced you to them immediately

> calls you “darling”, “my love”, or “babe/baby”

[unsanitarystation]

Poor little ageswap Prowl having his first heat and not even knowing what it was. Pussy so sore and needy, waste tanks constantly threatening to embarrass him. He’s desperate to keep it together when the twins call him for his newest “lesson”. Trying to walk normally, only to have his puffy valve rub uncomfortably between his legs and end up waddling. Maybe even crawling down the hall by the end, desperate to be a good bot for his mentors, no matter how humiliated he feels.

Almost the entirety of the base knows Prowl’s in heat, but not one mech is brave enough to say anything for fear that the terror twins will rip their spike off and feed it back to them. Even less willing to offer assistance. So they’re struggling against their instincts as this wet, desperate mech stumbles and then *crawls* down the hall leaving droplets of lubricant and piss behind. Spikes begging to pressurize even as they save the memory for “later review”.

Maybe Sunstreaker and Sideswipe have been gone for a while so they don’t their poor little trainee is in heat until he’s practically falling through the doorway. Their project seems to be trying to ignore it, doesn’t bother asking for their help at all. Well alright then. They won’t offer. Prowl tries to obediently spike Sunstreaker as usual, but each little thrust makes his untouched pussy *throb* painfully. He’s gasping in pain enough to depressurize his spike by the time Prowl gets down to eat Sunstreaker out instead. He has a much easier time with that, sinking into successful obedience when Sunstreaker finally shows signs of arousal. Sideswipe off to the side, watching them with a lazy hand on his spike that makes Prowl’s core throb with need and an odd expression on his faceplates.

Curled up cozy with his knees splayed and his face in Sunstreaker’s cunt, Prowl can’t help but relax just a little. Finally something familiar is happening, and even the pain and fear associated with whatever is happening to his body fades to background noise. Which is, of course, when his waste tank decides to release.

The relief from the first stream has Prowl moaning before he understands what’s happening. Then the panic sets in as he realizes that he’s pissing the twins’ bed like some helpless child or animal, and Prowl’s hands fly between his legs to try and stem the flow. Unsuccessfully, of course, but he looks so cute with that alarmed look on his face, hands dripping piss as it dribbles between his fingers. Kneeling on the bed, now, face covered in lubricants. Streaks of waste running down his pale thighs, so easily visible to the eye. Sunstreaker, now laying in a puddle of piss that has Prowl’s instincts purring, says nothing at all. Sideswipe opens his mouth, probably to say something sarcastic and ask if Prowl’s willing to share his heat yet. He never actually gets that far, though, because their cute little trainee bursts into tears.

He’s so sorry, is the thing. So adorably, pathetically sorry for wetting the bed and getting it on Sunstreaker. Prowl has no idea what’s going on with his frame, or why his poor little pussy hurts so much, but he can’t help but dribble a little more while he apologizes to his mentors for the mess. He really didn’t mean to, promise! The dam has been broken at this point, and he can’t help the little trickles from sneaking free with every hiccup of his vents.

“It’s okay, sweetspark,” Sideswipe manages hoarsely, in place of whatever he’d planned to say, “it’s perfectly natural.”

This is about when the twins clue into Prowl’s.. y’know, cluelessness. Which changes the game of the day from breaking down a bratty submissive’s refusal to admit they need help into yet another critically important lesson for their wet little trainee. Poor thing probably thinks he’s broken, Sunshine!

The twins spend the next however long petting and cooing at a distraught Prowl, sandwiching him between their frames until he’s giving off plumes of arousal. Explaining what’s happening to him with surprising care given the playful, almost condescending tone Sideswipe tends to adopt when talking to Prowl. Someone’s fingering Prowl’s sore pussy now, teasing his node until he gushes lubricants and a little bit of piss over their hand. It’s normal. It’s natural. Prowl’s a little leakier than some but certainly not the worst his mentors have seen. Which is true, but Prowl does certainly rank in the top 10–which they *don’t* tell him when he’s a wet, whimpering mess.

“Poor needy thing,” Sunstreaker purrs as he sinks his rarely used spike into Prowl’s soaked valve. It’s a special occasion, after all. Prowl just gasps and whines beautifully, clinging to the twins’ plating as he finally gets what he needs.

“First heat’s just a systems check, baby,” Sideswipe tells him in between kisses, “no threat of carrying this time. But from now on you’ll have to be careful with your heats, okay?” As though Prowl would ever be spending them with anyone else.

By the time they fuck Prowl through his heat, everyone is soaked in his little dribbles. Sideswipe’s chin, too, from when he was eating Prowl out and got caught with a spurt. Prowl had blushed and squeaked beautifully at that, writhing in Sunstreaker’s arms as the older mech held him up. But most importantly, Prowl’s belly is visibly swollen with transfluids and the soreness in his valve is the pleasant kind again. It gapes a little from the grand finale, where he’d somehow managed to take both spikes at once. Sunstreaker kisses his pretty node when he’s cleaning them all up, laughing at the useless twitch of over-stretched calipers. They seal Prowl’s panels shut once more, and Sunstreaker holds him while Sideswipe changes the bedding.

“And what does the silly widdle trainee do if we’re gone during your heat *ever again*?” Sideswipe coos, pinching at Prowl’s pink cheeks.

“Go to Ratchet,” Prowl mumbles, exhausted and a little embarrassed.

yessss god, poor Prowl... He has no idea what's happening to his frame, and everything just feels so wrong.

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker being mean to Prowl up until he starts sobbing... they quickly realize that they've read the situation so, so wrong. Poor little thing, he wasn't being stubborn this time, his pussy and tank are hurting and he just didn't know why! It's a good thing Sideswipe stopped himself before giving him a sarcastic remark, he wouldn't have wanted to ruin such a wonderful experience as is one's first heat for him...

They grab him and have him pinned down between the two of them, cooing at Prowl to let him know that he's doing great, that this is perfectly natural and normal and he has nothing to be ashamed of.

[hdhdgsgs]

Hi Hi! Idk how I ended up here lol (maybe through Bard’s page?? idk) anyway! I see that you’re writing for Osomatsu San right now! Would I be able to request your headcanons on every matsu comforting their crying significant other? Pleeeeease? lol I love the comfy stuff

First post back from writers block/burn out, I know some aren’t as long as others and I’m sorry it’s not consistent but I love the idea!

Osomatsu

For a little bit after you start crying he’s stunned, he’s not sure what to do. He’s comforted his brothers before but they’re his brothers, you’re a whole different person that he hasn’t learnt his whole life to comfort.

He’ll pay your back first then offer an awkward hug that turns into cuddling and crying into him with him rubbing the back of your hair and saying how you’ll be ok, kissing your head every now and then.

If you don’t want to be physically touched he’ll just tell you it’ll be okay and that he’ll listen if you need to talk, just constant sweet talking and he’ll throw in a little flirting or joking around if he feels like it’ll make you feel better.

He’ll even offer his beer or to eat instant ramen with him, he might even ‘force’ (ask) his mother to make him and you something, to which she would say yes and comfort you as much as she could and as she’s raised 6 kids at the same time, she’s pretty good at it.

He’ll offer you sex, half-joking, but if you take him up on his offer he’d be delighted to help, whether that means fast and rough or slow and sweet. He’d totally even be willing to get none of the pleasure himself because he wants to make you feel good (and he’s a pervert), you deserve it after all.

Karamatsu

He’s read up on this a LOT before so he can understand and comfort his future partner. He loves you and asks before every little thing he does, if you want ANYTHING he’ll run all over Tokyo as fast as he can to get it for you. If his brothers are around he’ll either boss them into doing things for you or he’ll threaten them to stay as far away as possible so you can be in piece.

Affection needed? He’s ready, he’ll do anything to make you happy, even if it’s (not shaming anyone) kissing your feet. He’s ready, cuddles are elite and he’s petting you everywhere he knows you like, kisses galore and touching places he knows makes you giddy. At one point he thinks about tickling you to see you laugh but he decides against it after thinking for a minute.

For gifts and acts of service, he’ll go ALL over Tokyo, fuck, even Japan if he has to, all to make you happy. If he can’t afford he WILL beg, steal and take what he needs to. He will empty everyone he knows bank account, or maybe just hatabou’s cuz he’s rich.

You want words of affirmation? He’s got it, words sweeter than ever before come out of his mouth, comforting and reassuring you until his vocal cords stop working and still then he’ll write it all down. He won’t joke around until he knows you feel good enough, so he will test the waters, every now and then with little jokes before unleashing his attack of humour to make you laugh.

Quality time, no problemo. He’s sitting and laying and standing around, just being with you, if you don’t want to talk he won’t, he’ll give you tissues, water, a plush, ice cream and just sit with you. He isn’t used to not talking for so long but he will anything for his karamatsu angel.

Choromatsu

Worst one of all of them, but he’s trying his best. He will pat your back and say “it’s not that serious, you’ll be okay.” Please get mad at him… he isn’t hurt by it for the most part, he’s used to a lot worse by his brothers.

Eventually he’ll learn and get better but at the start he’s grossly bad for someone who reads romance manga on the daily. He might try things he sees there, affection and tissues/water but after a while he’ll honestly just sit next to you and stare into space. He’s perplexed.

If you ask him about getting something or doing something for you, he will be a dork and salute, immediately getting up to help. He might put on some idol shows on tv or try and distract you by putting together a figurine with you. Choromatsu would offer a beer or sake to cheer you up, since it always makes him feel better (even though that’s unhealthy). Some more of his ideas include forcing Totty to search up ways to help, making his brothers embarrass themselves to make you laugh or running around doing things for you (which they will do in the hope you might like them too because you were able to fall for Choromatsu, but they won’t make it that obvious). Cuddles are a thing choromatsu has always been hesitant about, meaning he has to be insanely vulnerable, but he’ll throw away all vain the second he sees you upset.

Ichimatsu

Panics but keeps it on the inside so you wont stress more. He decides to treat you the same way he treats cats, only knowing how to cheer them up. So he’ll buy you food or get it from his cupboards and pet your head. He’ll whisper sweet nothings in your ear while giving your head a massage (which he’s surprisingly good at) making sure to focus behind your ears and the top of your head. Ichimatsu loves getting kisses but he’s not too confident on giving them so he won’t kiss your lips for his own comfort but he will kiss everywhere else, up your arms, your neck, your face, your head, everywhere else however if you ask him directly he will buck up and give you a small kiss on the lips, followed by more as he gets more confident. Orders his brothers around if you need something since he’s giving you affection at the moment.

Sends out a cat signal(idk) and gets all the little fluffy bois in the area to come and cuddle up! (As a chubby girl myself) He WILL put you on his lap for cuddles, he doesn’t care about weight at all whether you’re underweight, average or overweight. He wants to hold his kitten no matter what. If you end up eating something he’ll physically feed you like a baby, feeling very protective.

Jyushimatsu

Cat eyes, thinking face. Stays like that for a few second then runs around grabbing everything he can think of. Blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, water, tissues, a baseball, snacks and one of his hoodies. He brings it all and offers them, setting up a calm little area and wiping your tears with his sleeves, finding it more intimate than tissues.

Jyushimatsu sings a little song while laying you back on his chest and rubbing your back. He’s very used to comforting Ichimatsu so if you don’t want to be held he’ll know exactly how to help, he might even ask ichimatsu to help him get a cuddly cat for you. Wiggles his arms and and does the water trick too, but if you don’t respond he’ll stop immediately. Sits next to you and writes a love letter, detailed with all his feelings for you, he puts it in an envelope, seals it and hands it to you like you couldn’t see the whole thing being made, he’s VERY bashful about it too. Jyushi will also make you drink water to rehydrate and whisper meow over and over again in a sing song voice because he knows it helps Ichimatsu so surely it’ll help you right? Just need a distraction? He’ll talk about baseball for hours, the history, his favourite players, the rules and how to play it.

Todomatsu

Best equipped to handle it, doesn’t go about it well. Todomatsu doesn’t, in fact, use his phone. He feels it would be gross to use his phone when his partner needs comfort, and he panics wanting them to know he loves them more than life itself but not knowing how. He pulls you into a tight hug, telling you it’s going to be okay and that he loves you. Todomatsu will run his hand up and down your back while the other one is in your hair massaging the back of your head. He will push away his feelings of discomfort for a second to grab his phone, putting on soft music to help you relax, including a playlist he made especially for when he got a partner and he needed to comfort them. If Totty even sees a glimpse of a brother in the corner of his eye, they will be gone as soon as possible to make you feel safer and calmer. He hums along while he tries to make you fall asleep in his arms, I’m all honesty Todomatsu will do ANYTHING for his partner, he won’t let you go a single day feeling sad or bad because he truly adores you more than anything in the whole universe.

[daisynik7]

I SAW THAT ANGST MINI FIC AND THAT HURT!! OK WHAT ABOUT....

Its Eren who has the unrequited love while reader likes....Jean (?) and plans to move in with him....

cw: angst, unrequited love

Word Count: ~1.7k

Author Notes: Hi anon! Loving these angsty requests! I changed it up a little bit so that the reader is already moved in with Jean, hope that’s okay! And I hope this hurts (in a good way) LOL. 

--------------------

Eren stares out the window, watching the passing buildings as Mikasa drives through the unfamiliar street. He hasn’t spoken since they left, only the radio to occupy the silence. As they approach closer to the apartment complex, Mikasa clears her throat, finally speaking. “Are you okay?” 

He’s not. How can he be? The woman he’s in love with is moving in with her boyfriend. And it’s not him. 

He doesn’t respond right away, fixating on a particular street corner while they’re stopped at a red light. Mikasa knows not to pester him; she only put the question out there in case he wants to talk about it. Recently, he hasn’t been wanting to say much. 

The news about Jean and you moving in together came as a surprise. You announced it a month ago during a big group dinner with friends. Everyone there congratulated you, thrilled about this big step. Eren mustered up the energy to do the same, but deep down, he was hurting. It’s not as if he didn’t see this coming. Maybe at first, he was a little bit in denial. It’s Jean Kirstein, after all. The guy is an idiot. But he’s the idiot that got you to fall in love with him, so clearly, Eren is the even bigger idiot. 

What do you see in Jean that you don’t see in Eren? The question still haunts him. He’ll never get an answer, though. You have no idea that Eren is in love with you. Absolutely no clue. And, at this rate, you never will. It’s a secret he’s willing to take to his grave, especially knowing how goddamn happy you are with Jean. He won’t take that away from you, even if it means sacrificing his own heart. That’s how much he cares for you. 

Mikasa clears her throat, obviously concerned, but doesn’t ask again. Eren keeps looking outside when he finally responds. “I’m okay.”

She doesn’t push it any further, taking that as the final word of the conversation, if they can even call it that. Only she knows about his secret. Sometimes, he likes to use her as a scapegoat, blaming her for introducing you to Jean in the first place. It’s not her fault though; if it wasn’t Jean, it would have been somebody else. Eren has always been too much of a coward to step up to the plate and confess. In the end, he has only himself to blame.  

They park at a curb, right outside the apartment complex. Eren is reluctant to get out, anxious to see their new place for the first time. Eventually, he does, following Mikasa to the front lobby, heading towards the elevator. She’s been here before, a handful of times actually, helping them move and settle in. It’s been an entire month now. Each time Eren has been asked to come over, he made up excuses to get out of it. This time, he couldn’t refuse. Not when you practically begged him to help you assemble furniture. 

The elevator takes them up to the third floor. Mikasa leads them down the hall in front of a door that reads “306”. She knocks twice, a few seconds passing before your bright face greets them. “Hey!”

The flutter in his belly whenever he sees you smile has never wavered. His mood is instantly lifted, and he almost forgets what he’s so grumpy about. Almost. Jean approaches them from the kitchen, snacking on a protein bar, shaker bottle in the other hand. He looks ready to work out. “Hey guys, thanks for coming.”

Mikasa glares at him, crossing her arms over her chest. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah,” he answers. “Gym.”

“I thought we’re putting together furniture,” Mikasa says, annoyed. Eren tries to contain his scoff, understanding now that Jean has no intention of participating. 

“You know I’m not handy! That’s why we called you two as reinforcements, right honey?” He wraps his arms around you, tipping his head to give you a loud smooch on the cheek. 

You giggle. “Yeah.” Though you’re smiling, Eren can tell there’s disappointment in your eyes. He’d do anything right now to clock Kirstein in the face. 

With Jean gone, the three of you gather in the living room, staring at the stacks of boxes laid out on the floor. “We bought a couple of items for the living room and our bedroom. Mikasa, maybe you can do the drawer for the bedroom. And then Eren and I can do the TV stand here.”

Mikasa nods, agreeing with the plan and walking into the bedroom on the other side of the apartment. You grin at Eren. “Ready?”

The two of you open the box, removing all the parts and organizing them neatly, instructions in your hands, reading aloud the first couple of lines. It starts smoothly, the directions clear enough to get halfway through, until you laugh, realizing that Eren put one of the pieces on backwards. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, re-doing the screws. 

“Don’t be. I’m just glad you’re here with me.”

It’s comments like this that make his chest swell and heart sink at the same time. “Jean really doesn’t like doing this kind of stuff, does he?”

You shake your head, “Not really.” You pause, sounding like you have more to say.

“Are you okay?” 

You let out a deep sigh. “I was hoping this would be a fun bonding experience for us. Putting together our own furniture, I don’t know. I like this kind of stuff and I wish he was more into it.” You avoid Eren’s gaze as you explain this, focusing blankly on the instructions in front of you. 

Now, Eren really wishes he could punch Jean. “I’m sorry.”

You smile at him. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault. In fact, you’re always the next best person I want to do this stuff with anyways.”

It’s true. Before Jean, it was always Eren. He was the first person you called when you got a flat tire on the highway, freaking out because you never learned how to fix it. Minutes later, he was there, down on the ground, patiently explaining every step. The next time it happened, Eren was the first to know that you successfully did it, all thanks to him. Whatever concert you wanted to go to, he was there, standing right beside you, screaming along to the music, bopping his head to the beat. Late night drives along the coast, listening to waves crash against the shore. New restaurants you wanted to try because a food influencer you follow recommended it. He was there. And even after Jean, it was still Eren. Midnight phone calls, listening to you cry about a silly argument you and Jean had. Visiting local farmer’s markets together because Jean never understood why you liked them so much. Movie screenings for obscure features that Jean declined to go because the only films he enjoys are action and comedies. Eren is always there for you when Jean isn’t.

In this moment, Eren realizes that it can’t be this way anymore. If you’re going to move on with Jean and he’s going to move on from you, it can no longer be this way. As painful as it is to admit it, Eren can’t have you relying on him anymore. Because the longer you do, the harder it’ll be for him to let you go. 

You both complete the TV stand correctly this time, moving it against the wall. Mikasa comes out to join you, the three of you admiring your handiwork. Keys jingle from outside the door and Jean returns, still sweaty from the gym. Before he retreats into the kitchen, he exclaims, “Looks great, guys!”

You and Mikasa start on another set, this time another drawer for the living room. Eren takes this time to excuse himself, joining Jean in the kitchen. He’s shaking one of his protein concoctions in his bottle, eating a banana. “What’s up man?” 

“Help her with the furniture,” Eren bluntly states.

Jean makes a face, surprised by the demand. “Huh?”

“She wants you to build it with her.”  

He rubs the back of his neck nervously. “I thought you and Mikasa are helping?”

“It’s not about needing help. She’s perfectly capable of doing it on her own if she really needs to. But she thinks it’s a fun bonding experience. She wants you to do it with her.” He’s a little more aggressive this time, annoyed from Jean’s incompetence.

He opens his mouth, sputtering like a fish before responding, “How was I supposed to know?”

Eren pinches the bridge of his nose, losing patience but maintaining his composure. “When she asks you if you want to do something with her, just say yes. That means she wants to spend time with you, even if it’s for things like this.”

The two men are silent for a moment, Jean contemplating what was just said. Eren lets himself imagine for a split second how it would be if it were him moving in with you, not Jean. This conversation wouldn’t even need to happen. He’d happily build furniture with you every day. He would do anything for you. 

Finally, Jean speaks. “You’re right. I should do better. I will be better.” He pauses, picking his words carefully, adding, “I’m so used to you being there for her instead.” He avoids Eren’s gaze when he says it, embarrassed. 

“I’ll always be there for her. But I’m not her boyfriend. You are.” It’s difficult for him to say out loud. Hearing himself say it makes it official. It makes it final.

“Yeah, I know. I’ll be better. Uh, thanks for telling me.”

Eren looks at him with a serious expression. “I just want her to be happy.”

He returns his gaze knowingly. “Yeah, I know. Me too.”

They stand there for a few more seconds, understanding each other. When they leave the kitchen together, Jean walks over to you, massaging your shoulders. “Hi baby. I’m back now. Let’s build some furniture!”

You face him, beaming. “Really?”

He smiles. “Yeah, it’ll be fun.”

Eren says, “Looks like you’re in good hands now. We’re going to head out.” Mikasa looks at him, confused. He doesn’t say anything else, steering her towards the door, waving farewell. Before it closes, he overhears Jean mention something about going to a farmer’s market. 

In the car, Mikasa asks once more, “Are you okay?”

This time, Eren answers a little more confidently. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

[i-eat-worlds]

Starcross Chapter 9

In which tense conversations ensue.

Content: Angst, past systemic violence, space imperialism

Free Space, AFS Starcross, 5/5/4763

Veya jabbed the button on the dining table’s holodisplay, bringing up a rotating trade lane alert. The rest of her crew was gathered around, in varying stages of awakeness. Jesse was chomping on a VidaFruit energy bar, while Mari and Ziar were both nursing cups of tea. Elzar looked like they could’ve fallen asleep right then and there. Nothing like a surprise Yeran ship to screw up everyone’s sleep schedules.

“I’ll keep this short, since I know about half of you want to get to bed,” she started, bringing up the details of the alert. “As you’re all aware, Starcross picked up another stray last night. A few minutes ago, Yera put out an alert for who I’m assuming is them.” They gestured to the rotating hologram.

The holo made them look better, with more fat on their cheeks and less bruises on their face. A high Yeran collar rose around their neck, the metal tipped collar points a dead giveaway. Below it, a thickly bolded angular font declared that their name was “Arta Lacos,” a civil service worker who had apparently abandoned their post in several different languages.

Ziar bristled at the image, eyes narrowing. “Civil service worker my ass,” she mumbled under her breath.

“This crew is a family, and I’d never want to put any of you at risk,” Veya continued, tone serious. “Yera will come and try to get them back. Us helping them is not without signicant risk. If that’s a problem for you, speak up now.”

Mari’s eyes flickered up, nervously darting around. “Doesn’t “civil service worker” on a Yeran report normally mean “soldier who deserted?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but Ziar got there first. “There's no way that they’re a soldier. Not from what I saw, Mari.”

“I don’t want to even chance a fucking Yeran soldier on Starcross,” he said, voice forceful.

Oka placed a hand on their partner's forearm. “Azei, I’ve seen them. They’re not like that,” they spoke in Sanatesse.

“Mari, they begged me to hurt them.” Ziar put a foot forward. “You and I both know that Yera’s bastards don’t beg.” Mari dropped his head, but still didn’t say anything, not quite convinced. “They have god knows how many needles stuck into their spine. They aren’t even Yerani,” she swiped a hand through the hologram for emphasis, making it icker. “They’re human. Yera would rather implode than let a human serve.”

Yera would rather implode than let a human live. Before it had been Adaxia, before it had been Veya’s planet and home and family, it had been Earth, and all the other lonely planets on the far reaches of the galaxy that Yera had invaded.

Mari nodded at Ziar’s argument, posture relaxing a little. “Still, Yera will come for them. We’ve worked too hard to build this to let it fall apart now.”

“So we're just going to do what? Push them out of the airlock?” Ziar snapped, stepping closer.

Mari was just about to open his mouth to continue when Veya cut in. “Take a breath, you two.” They both scooted back. “We could try and find a safer place for them to go, maybe in the midri?” She suggested.

“I could see if I know anyone or anyone who knows anyone who’d be willing to help,” Oka said, looking unsure. “But I don’t know how well they’d fare with that.”

Ziar nodded. “I think they should stay with us.”

“Almost every single one of us has been, or is currently, wanted by Yera.” Oka was projectling like they were talking to everyone, but they were turned towards Mari. “Starcross, and Veya, have kept us safe. She’ll keep doing that.”

Finally, Mari sighed. “Okay. But we should still keep an eye on them until we know that we can trust them.”

“Of course.” Veya looked to Elzar and Jesse. “Do you two have any input?”

Elzar shrugged. “I haven’t really met them yet. But I trust Oka’s judgment. They can stay.”

“Same here,” Jesse crumpled up the VidaFruit bar’s wrapper. “I don’t have a problem with it.”

After a final look around the room to make sure everyone seemed comfortable, Veya cleared her throat. “It’s settled then. Kim stays.” A round of nods followed. “I want everyone to rest up. We’re going to land on Zarian in just about six hours. Ziar’s got a doctor coming to visit, so maybe clean it up a little. See you soon.”

Jesse grumbled a little at the cleaning as they all split off in their separate directions, heading towards either their stations or their berths. Before they walked away, Ziar sighed a respectful thank you in Nor’daxi.

Whatever feelings they had about Kim, Veya hoped they were right.

*** Jesse brought Starcross into Zarian’s atmosphere, feeling the hypergravity fluid pull back on her seat belt as the planet’s gravity grew stronger, pulling them closer. Starcross was an older ship, but Jesse had come to love the way her controls felt during reentry. The subtle tug as she evened out the fluid, seamlessly guiding them downward.

While Zarian was probably most famous for the warm volcanic islands that sprouted up in the tropical seas around its equator, that was not their final destination today. Starcross was headed for its icy northern polar tundra instead, far away from any vacation spots, to deliver several loads of fishing equipment related cargo. She wasn’t quite sure what it was, and she didn’t really care.

Despite the knowledge that the weather was sure to be less than ideal, Jesse was still excited to get planetside. They’d be able to stock up on real, non-mining ration food, something with a decent amount of protein and a flavor that wasn't just salt.

She switched to a local frequency, asking for permission to enter its airspace. Zarian’s controllers were used to high traffic volumes, were all multilingual, and were all relatively competent, unlike certain asteroids she could mention. They were quick to return her an authorization code and a landing area.

As she dropped lower, her view became covered by thick clouds. Nothing like descending from space into that fine polar weather. She watched the scanner, locators pinging in her ears as she moved them lower.

Finally, Zarian’s landscape opened up below her, snow capped mountains giving away barren, red grass covered landscape. The city of Iegal spread out along a coast, hugging an ice filled sea. Small boats bobbed up and down, traps sparkling in the water. It was, believe it or not, summer.

Jesse set down on a platform by one of the industrial districts, flipping the switch to power down the main engines.

Starcross had landed.

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