#they’re very gay your honour

[sakura-rose12]

🏆Pet name unlocked: the sequel.

Vin discovers a powerful move against Elijah.

Extra under the cut

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Follow me on my delusional rant for a second: we all know that stiles was kinda but not really obsessed with the hale fire yes?? What if he just a tiny bit more obsessed with it and less with Lydia. The sheriff turns a blind eye to this because this was the most lively his son had been since his mother died. The sheriff also can’t figure why this case doesn’t feel right to him, but if anyone can figure it out it’s his son.

He goes on a deep dive about the hales. There comes a point where he can’t access anymore information legally; so he goes to Danny to teach him how to hack. This gets Lydia attention but not enough to get her to help, yet.

So stiles learns and he hacks into the school database, the police, and generally every establishment that the hales have frequented. He finds a pattern of suspiciously missed full moons, high grocery bills the next morning. He finds Paige and Kate. He finds a paper trail to the fire.

He shows it to his dad. With this evidence the sheriff looks into the case. This is what causes Lydia to talk to stiles. She pulls up to his house the very next morning the sheriff reopens the case. She liked Cora and would do anything to get the person who killed her. This cause a deeper dive of obsession. Together they look into the supernatural side of beacon hills. They find Lydia’s grandmother, and Lydia is able to understand what she is before it becomes a problem.

I’m a Stiles and Lydia sibling truther. They become that duo. Just over all becoming the pretty twins of beacon hills.

Lydia gets familiar ties to the stilinskis. Something that she doesn’t get at home. The sheriff loves her, absolutely dotes on her. He’s always wanted a daughter. Stiles becomes far more confident and comfortable in his skin. They have spa days and sleepovers. Stiles lets Lydia practice makeup on him. Lydia has her own room at the Stilinski’s, it becomes a safe haven for her.

They both watch over the sheriffs diet like hawks; fast food places are terrified when the sheriff comes in to order food. “No sheriff, I actually can’t give you a double burger because I’m still traumatized from your kids”. Lydia creates a binder of healthy meals, while stiles cooks them. (Lydia cannot cook)

Stiles comforts her when Jackson is being a dick. Stiles becomes frienimes with Jackson. When Jackson swings by the house the sheriff quietly brings out his gun and cleans it in front of him. Lydia pretends to be embarrassed but she’s absolutely glowing. Jackson also become close with the sheriff, especially after him and Lydia break up. (They were gay and lesbian solidarity)

With the amount of digging Stiles and Lydia did they would have figured out Peter was being poisoned. I also believe that they would have found Cora was still alive. This brings Laura and Derek back to beacon hills, starting the rise of the hale pack.

Like imagine season one Derek meeting confident stiles with lipstick. Your honour it’s over for him.

Derek still becomes an alpha after the alpha pack comes and he kills one of them. (I’m also a Alpha Derek hale truther)

Stiles and Lydia are both “little reds”

Derek and Cora being super fucking cocky that they’re mated to the pretty twins of beacon hills

The sheriff also cleans his gun in front of Derek and Cora. He’ll be damned doesn’t get to pull the protective father for his kids.

Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[scrumdidilyrumpum]

This is so fire! Made the whole family overjoyed to see this work of art! Truly beautiful!!! 😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🌈🌈🌈

Scene redraw

💥💃🏼

[buddierecs]

post season 7 buddie fics

in honour of season 8 coming out in a few days, here is a list of fics that have been released over the hiatus set post season 7. all explicit rating - 18+ only!!!!!! make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :) also i have tried to avoid the infidelity tag in this list which is hard bc there is a lot of them but if you are interest in that check out these posts: this and this :)

eddie, enraged and envious by: songbvrd "eddie goes through the stages of grief watching buck and tommy together and gets progressively more unhinged as his jealousy builds." word count: 23k important tags: jealous!eddie diaz, slow burn, idiots to lovers, feelings realisation, pre-relationship, panic attacks, mild smut tell you my sins (sharpen your knife) by: symphonysoldier97 "eddie confesses to buck, fucks a priest, and finds his way—not necessarily in that order." word count: 22k important tags: minor eddie diaz/hot priest, getting together, love confessions, jealous!evan buckley, bottom!eddie diaz, service top!evan buckley, church sex the wayward son (pls read tags and notes before reading) by: brewrosemilk "eddie misses his son, grows a mustache, pines after his best friend, and becomes a regular at a gay sex club. that last part is either an indulgence or an inevitable, somewhat self-destructive conclusion to several decades worth of compulsory heterosexuality and catholic guilt. don’t ask him which." word count: 56k important tags: sexuality crisis, catholic guilt, self-discovery, healing, misunderstandings, group sex, anonymous sex, blow jobs, barebacking, exhibitionism the cat's meow by: 42hrb "eddie adopts a cat and let's himself have good things." word count: 4.2k important tags: cat owner!eddie diaz, love confessions, hand jobs i will eat you alive (there'll be no more lies) by: bxbierat "the slutification of eddie diaz's mustache, courtesy of buck." word count: 8.1k important tags: pre-relationship, drunk sex, dry humping, frottage hand jobs, motorboating, body worship i've got your back by: sammyunhinged a very slow burn fic chronicling the progress of buck and eddie's relationship, buck's parenting journey, and eddie learning to accept himself, in which buck gets injured in an accident and he moves in with eddie and christopher. word count: 110k important tags: slow burn, falling in love, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, coming out, friends to lovers, minor buck/tommy, eventual smut my home is your body by: coldbam "buck and eddie have vastly different nights at pride. then very similar summers." word count: 16k important tags: minor buck/original male characters, minor eddie/original male characters, friends with benefits, getting together, jealous!evan buckley, bottom!eddie diaz, top!evan buckley chase the pain (i'd do it again) by: buckalmighty "eddie keeps kissing buck while they’re drunk and buck kinda can’t stop thinking about it" word count: 10k important tags: idiots in love, drunk kissing, pre-relationship, hurt!evan buckley, getting together, dom/sub, dom!eddie diaz, sub!evan buckley, top!evan buckley, bottom!eddie diaz, anal sex i go crazy, see red (series) by: coldbam "this is a disconnected series of one-shots that all have the same theme: unhinged, jealous buck." word count: 23k important tags: jealous!evan buckley, infidelity, love confessions, friends to lovers, blow jobs, bottom!eddie diaz, top!evan buckley, rimming

[resident-gay-bitch]

🏳️‍⚧️ Trans Tuesdays 🏳️‍⚧️

3 times Eddie was shocked to find out things about his friends dating life, and 1 time he was shocked about his own. (Transfem Stevie)

“Wait, what?!” Eddie shouted, staring at Robin incredulous.

“I’m. A. Lesbian.” She repeated, clapping her hands between each word, “Do you need a dictionary definition on what that means, dingus? Because it’s not-“

“No-“ Eddie interrupted, shaking his head, hands sternly on his hips, “I know what a lesbian is, don’t worry. I just didn’t know you were one!”

“Oh… well, yeah, I am.” She shrugged, “Obviously! Whose idea did you think it was to have a Michelle Pfeiffer movie marathon?”

“Huh.” Eddie nodded, giving her a once over, “Well that clears some things up.”

“God, you’re such a dingus sometimes.” Robin snorted, scruffing up his hair, “Come on, we’re gonna be late to meet Stevie if we don’t leave now.”

☆ ★ ☆

“Wait, what?!” Eddie said, doing a double take and charging backwards, almost stacking it down the stairs to the Wheelers basement.

“No! Nothing!” Will shouted, slapping his hand over his mouth, Mike beside him groaned.

“Nuh uh, not nothing. Don’t try to lie to me you little shits. I saw you two smooching it up.” He said, his voice a harsh whisper as he stared down at them. Or, well, attempted to since they’re almost taller than him these days. “Spill.”

“We don’t have to tell you anything.” Mike sassed.

“Oh, yeah?” Eddie sassed right back, “Tell that to the three headed fire breathing dragon who has it out for you, Mighty Palladian.”

Mike groaned, “We’re not gay!”

“Well, last I checked you’re both dudes.” Eddie tutted, “So, what’s this, hmm? I’m not letting you be a little bitch and use your best friend as your experiment.”

“I’d never do that!” Mike clipped.

“Experiment?” Will asked, his face scrunched up.

“Oh, yeah, been there.” Eddie scoffed self-deprecatingly, chucking a thumb at himself, “Don’t tell anyone, but I went through half the football team.”

“Wait, you’re gay?” Mike glared at him.

“Nuh duh.” Eddie blabbered, tongue rolling out of his mouth, “I thought you little shits knew.”

“I knew.” Will shrugged.

“Why did you know?” Mike argued.

“I just knew.” Will said back.

“Hey now, little dudes, enough of that.” Eddie shook his head, “Now come on, what’s going on here? Is this some creepy weirdo exploration thing or have you gone all sweet ‘n shit on each other.”

“Don’t tell anyone, okay.” Will hissed, grabbing Mike's hand, “We’re dating.”

“He didn’t need to know that.” Mike groaned.

“Wouldn’t you rather someone know?” Will raised an eyebrow, “Someone you actually look up to and like?”

“Aww, Little Wheeler, you look up to me?” Eddie asked, a hand splayed over his heart, “I’m honoured.”

“I’m outta here.” Mike rolled his eyes, pushing past Eddie and up the stairs, “I swear if you tell anyone, I’m gonna go steal all your Dungeon Master notes-“

Eddie gasped dramatically, “You wouldn’t!”

“Watch me.” Mike rolled his eyes, accidentally letting a smile slip before he was fully turned around.

☆ ★ ☆

“Wait, what?” Eddie asked, choking on his sandwich, staring up at his uncle.

“I said-“

“I know what you said.” He shook his head, “I just… you are in a relationship?”

“Yes.” Wayne nodded, “I’m very happy.”

“Oh, wow.” Eddie breathed, “I did not expect this happening when I woke up this morning.”

Wayne chuckled at him, “It ain’t that crazy, son.”

“Yeah it is!” Eddie protested, “I didn’t think you even cared about relationships or nothing. You’ve always been just Wayne to me.”

“Yeah, cause you were a sad little kid that needed my full attention.” Wayne huffed, “Now, you’re an adult and I’d like a relationship.”

“Huh…” Eddie nodded, and began to eat his sandwich again, “So can I meet him?”

“You already have.”

“When?” Eddie asked, furrowing his brow.

“His name’s Scott, and I love him very much, and we met at your middle school parent teacher interviews and have been putting off our feelings since then.”

“That long? Wayne!” Eddie groaned, “Is he like a single dad or something?”

“No, he’s your old science teacher.”

“Wait, what!”

☆ ★ ☆

“Wait, what?” Eddie asked, scrunching his face, looking at Steve on the verge of short circuiting.

“Yeah, I just can’t do this anymore, Eddie.” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I like you, so much, and I just…”

“Stevie, I’m gay.” Eddie said, now looking at him with desperation, “Steve I’m so gay, I’m the gayest any dude could ever be. Holy shit, I like you too!”

“You are?” Steve said, his eyes beginning to well up a little.

“Yes!” Eddie said, jumping on the spot, “I’m so fucking gay, Stevie. Gayer than the day is long! Please go out with me.”

Steve huffed, giving Eddie a saddened smile, “I’m not a guy, though.”

“Wait… what?” Eddie asked, scrunching his nose, “What do you mean?”

“I’m transgender…” Steve said, looking at the ground, “I’m actually a woman.”

“Wait, you’re transgender?” He asked, whispering the next part to himself, “God, everythings happening this week…”

Steve nodded her head, “Yeah, I can’t… I’m sorry, Eddie, but if you’re gay-“

“I’m bisexual, actually. I’m so bisexual, please go out with me.”

“Eddie, you can’t just change your sexuality.”

“Uh, well, apparently you can, because I just did.” Eddie sassed, “I was gay, now I’m bisexual, cause I have a big ol’ crush on you, and if you’re a woman, that makes me bisexual.”

Steve glared at him.

“So, can I take you out on a date now?” He said, staring up at Steve with stars in his eyes.

“Are you being serious? This isn’t just a joke, Eddie, it’s my identity.”

“I know.” He said, deadpan, “It’s mine too. Hell, I’m finding so many things out this week, it’s crazy. So like, do I still call you Steve or…?”

“I prefer Stevie.”

Eddie grinned, “Sick. So Stevie, about that date?”

Stevie huffed, “You realise if this goes anywhere I’d be your girlfriend, not your boyfriend.”

“Holy shit, you wanna be my girlfriend?” He beamed at her, “This is so metal, can I kiss you, I wanna kiss you so bad, Stevie, please be my girlfriend right now.”

“Oh…” Stevie muttered, finally smiling, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Eddie just about fainted.

Stevie has my heart oh my fucking god I love her *Screams hysterically from the rooftops*

[ghcstao3]

Please give me more from Sope obviously about everything that is happening around him and ghost who all this time thought it was just friendly.

I need the dinner and how they realise that they are the best thing in the world for each other.

it is my honour to expand on soap being oblivious

-

“…I mean, I’m not gay, but—I can appreciate when a man looks good, y’ken?”

Ghost pauses. Really pauses. As in, his forkful of food is held midair just out of reach of his next bite just so he can look at Soap. Really look.

Because he must’ve hit his head at some point to have thought to say something so… strange. Wrong, Ghost wants to think.

Now, Ghost realizes there isn’t a lot about life that he can be completely sure about. But when Soap had approached him—after months of back-and-forth flirting just teetering over the edge of something friendly, after growing and festering feelings developing between them—and asked Ghost if he wanted to go for dinner some time, just the two of them, Ghost had been certain it was a date.

And now Soap is here, sitting across from Ghost with his own fancy dinner, saying this. Unbelievable.

With a deep breath and one last incredulous look, Ghost sets down his fork. Folds his hands over the table, leans back in a chair that has no right to creak beneath his weight with the price they’re paying to be here.

“Say that again,” Ghost demands.

Soap stops mid-sentence, drawing his eyebrows together. A frown—pout—graces his lips, and maybe a minute prior to the present Ghost would be overcoming to urge to kiss it from Soap’s face.

“…I’m not gay?”

Ghost blinks. Levels Soap his most unimpressed stare in the hopes the cogs would start turning without further prompting. But Ghost isn’t so lucky, clearly.

“Why are we here?” Ghost tries instead.

“To eat dinner?” Soap winces like he knows the answer is wrong, but not like he knows why.

“At a nice restaurant,” Ghost says. “Just the two of us.”

Silence falls over them, nothing to break the sudden tension beyond the muted chatter and clinking of cutlery from other patrons.

“Can two friends not have dinner together?” Soap asks meekly. He’s finally begun to sound unsure of his words, shrinking in on himself under Ghost’s questioning gaze.

Ghost sighs. Softly, he urges, “Why did you invite me here, Johnny?”

Soap’s mouth opens and closes a few times as he works through this new problem like it’s an equation to solve, a mission to execute. He sits back, face contorting in deep thought before it eventually goes slack, wide-eyed and naive realization appearing as Soap finally looks back up at Ghost.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Soap drags his hands over his face, cheeks blooming a deep red as he groans into his palms. Ghost can’t help but watch on with a deep but fond exasperation.

“I just—I—this whole time—“

“Don’t need to explain yourself,” Ghost hums. He takes the opportunity to finally shove his forgotten forkful into his mouth. “Glad we could establish this is a date.”

Soap peeks out between his fingers. “You’re tellin’ me you… you agreed to this, thinking it was a date, while I—God, Simon,” he huffs. “You have awful taste in men.”

“At least I know when to come to terms with it.”

Soap scoffs and kicks Ghost’s shin under the table. “Haud yer wheesht.”

Ghost snickers. He jabs his now-empty fork in the direction of Soap’s plate. “Eat your food. Want to make this a real date later on.”

Soap’s face somehow turns an even brighter shade of red.

But he obliges.

And Ghost is very glad to know that he could, in fact, be certain about this one thing.

[house-of-slayterr]

I’m honour of just finishing Shadow and Bone… (the show not the books I read those a while ago) here are some incorrect Quotes!

Y/N , to Jesper : I mean, I get complimented all the time-

Kaz: *starts cackling*

Y/N : I do!

Kaz: *laughs harder*

Kaz: You can track Y/N ?

Jesper : Of course I can. If the NSA can do it, so can I.

Y/N : *sneaking in through their window*

Kaz: *turning in their chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night?

Y/N : I was with Jesper ?

Jesper : *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?

Wylan: Are you sure Y/N’s going to be able to handle that IKEA furniture? They’re not very good with technical stuff…

Jesper : Why are you worried? IKEA was never complicated; these days, it’s even easier! Everything’s color coded, numbered, and there’s even an assembly robot option to make it even easier for Y/N, which we’ve obviously opted in for. All they need to do is press the clearly labeled ON button, scan the QR code on the front of the box, and it’ll take care of the rest. Even a monkey could do it!

*Jesper ’s phone rings*

Y/N: Hey, so I’m at Lowes…

Wylan: …

Wylan: I should have gone with the monkey.

Y/N: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Jesper : Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Wylan walks in*

Jesper : Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

(Fucking cannon omg)

Y/N: Wylan , we need that!

Wylan , holding Nina over a trash can: Nope.

Y/N: Gimme it—

Wylan : It’s garbage.

Wylan : Murder literally doesn’t hurt anyone!

Nina: What are you talking about? Of course—

Y/N, holding out a hand to shut Nina up: No, no, they have a point—

Y/N: Jesper , I have a great idea.

Jesper : Let’s hear it.

Y/N: We trick Inej and Kaz to go out on a date together.

Jesper : YES!

Jesper : And hey, if that doesn’t work out, maybe you and me could go out, get some drinks—

Y/N, hitting them with a book: THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

Jesper : Why do you look like that?

Kaz , laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Jesper : Like you’re dead.

Kaz : It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.

Y/N: Kaz accidentally called Inej “babe” in front of everyone today.

Kaz : *sobs into the floor*

(Also cannon)

Kaz : How is the most beautiful person in the world?

Inej: *blushing* I—

Jesper , butting into the conversation: Y/N is perfect, thanks for asking.

Inej: Wow, they really hate us.

Y/N: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic.

Inej: But we’re not gay, Y/N.

Y/N: 👀

Inej: 👀

Y/N: We’re not?

Inej: Why are you doing this?

Y/N: Same reason I do everything, Inej. To get somebody to like me.

Y/N: *venting endlessly to Kaz about their week*

Kaz, every once in a while: *in a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.

Y/N: You got a date yet Kaz?

Kaz: No...

Y/N: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Y/N: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Wylan made me get tested.

(Me omfg)

Y/N: I'm trying to juggle family life and work life but I can't seem to find a balance. What do you suggest I do to keep everyone happy?

Wylan, deadpan: Quit your job, kill your family.

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 15

welcome the the fifteenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.  

1. there, nestled against his pulse by @hiuythn

stop why are you doing this to me stop it stop it stop--

klance soulmate au where your right wrist has the first words your soulmate says to you, and the left holds the last words they'll say to you. super sad, so much angst, and i've been informed it'll make you sob until you choke.

1. there, nestled against his pulse (the main story, from Keith's POV) 2. this is what love looks like: (tnahp from Lance's POV + 38k of sequel content) 3. roll credits (deleted/extra scenes and additional headcanons)

okay. i am so desperately obsessed with this fic, i was obsessed with it the first time i read it and im obsessed with it now. and yes i know i did all hiuythn fics last week and i promise i wont this week. BUT i have a set of comments associated with this fic bc it is Just That Good and so i shall present them to u now:

- literally the funniest characterization of shiro i’ve ever read. this shiro is gay and tired. this shiro unironically and frequently says “move. i’m gay” and gets away with it at the garrison. this shiro has been through A Lot and just wants to fucking retire - allura here is so so funny she’s such a badass. she’s giving “i love shiny things! like the shine of your spilled blood on the floor if you say that dumb shit one more fucking time!!” we stan a queen. - coran is a Mood. this man is desperately trying to reign in four teenagers and two young adults and just wants to go to bed and also he cares for them all so so much. ultimate dad - pidge is Mischief Personified. she is a brat and i adore her. she’s here to cause problems and by god she will succeed - hunk is so done it’s so fucking funny. “that’s literally impossible.” he’s a genius and he knows it, he’s glad to call you out on your bullshit. he doesn’t even TRY to pretend he can keep a secret and/or handle drama god what a mood - don’t even get me started on klance!! they’re so funny omg. the banter is EXQUISITE. lance and keith adore each other so much and they’re so badass. literally the coolest power couple fight scenes ever to be made, i do adore. gosh. and the ROMANCE they are so devoted to each other i’m emotional - honourable mention of lance’s legs and keith’a Soft Squishy Feelings that are mentioned so often that they’re characters. iconic. all in all, the best way to describe this series is Gay and Tired. i love it and i’m sad to see it end. i will be rereading it an embarrassing number of times. infinity/10

2. all the little things by @jilliancares

Or: 5 times Keith let Lance get away with things that he'd never let anyone else do, and 1 time Lance realized that he was, apparently, special

oblivious lance will always be funny to me. and the idea of keith just letting lance get away with Everything and Everyone knowing how whipped he is except for lance himself?? peak humour. never not funny

3. Full Disclosure by @dragonomatopoeia

Keith is impulsive and straightforward when it comes to most things, and emotions are no exception. It's no surprise, then, that when he realises that he might have developed a crush on Lance, he tries to tell him immediately. Unfortunately, it's very hard to account for both circumstance and who Lance is as a person.

Alternatively: Four Times Keith Tried to Confess and One Time Lance Actually Understood

more 2016 eliteness!! this fic is hilarious. and also its number one selling quality is that all of the characters are trans and nd i literally love that for them. nonbinary hunk loml

4. catch me, before i fall by @pastelrainbow

‘We are a good team.’

Even now, just recalling the way Lance had smiled as the words left his lips, made Keith’s heart race and his cheeks redden. Lance had never looked at him so fondly before. No boy ever had. The thought of it made a sigh escape his lips and Keith hunched his shoulders, a pout tugging his lips downwards.

Curse my weak gay heart.

-

a what if keith caught lance outside his cryo-pod.

the idea of keith being a suave casanova with more game than aphrodite herself but immediately going bright red and hissing when shiro teases him. peak dynamic. absolutely nailed siblings 

5. of demons and dates by spartona (faveour)

Three times Keith scares Lance shitless with his ghost shenanigans, and one time Lance tries to retaliate.

first of all. BFU KLANCE BFU KLANCE BFU KLANCE. second of all. the  “we’ve BEEN dating u dumbass ily” trope is so funny to me. i will never get over it

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[julibellule]

“Stede. Stede. Woah.”

Hands are on his upper arms, bringing him to a halt. And Stede finally sees Ed again; his dark eyes hold Stede’s gaze. He’s wearing a black and grey plaid shirt and black jeans. How’d he manage to get changed so quickly? And, oh, look, Stede’s still in his pyjamas. And he’s holding a potted plant for no discernable reason other than mindless panic, apparently.

“What you planning to do with that, then?” Ed asks gently.

“Um. I don’t really know, to be honest.”

“Babe. [...]I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Unless your kids don’t know about the fact you like blokes, but then, they’re kids. They don’t need to know.”

[...]“I know. I guess I’m just caught off guard. I haven’t got round to sitting the kids down and explaining the whole gay thing. It just never felt like the right time.”

“Alright. No problem, mate. You want to hold onto the plant?”

“Oh. Erm, not especially.”

“I’ll take that, then. You whack some clothes on and I’ll leave you to it, yeah?”

“Wait. Why?”

For a moment, the two of them survey each other in the living room. [...]

“You’re not going, are you?”

Ed blinks and frowns at the floor. “I mean. I figured you’d. You know. Want me to.”

“No.” A very quick response, and it makes Ed look back at him. “I want you to stay. I want them to meet you.”

Ed grips the plant pot and swallows.

“Unless– that is, if it’s too soon for you–”

“Nah, no. I’d be fuckin’ honoured, Stede.[...]”

>>> Click here for more BlackBonnet fic recs <<<

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 46 – The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez

Okay the month of August was essentially a write-off for...a lot of things, but non-web serial reading among them! Now trying to claw my way out of the pit and back on the horse. So, some high concept genre fic full of queer people and war crimes, just what the doctor ordered.

The Spear Cuts Through Water is the fantasy epic and love story of a pair of warriors – one a generally despised one-armed checkpoint guard, the other a positively reviled princeling – as they escort the moon goddess in her attempt to escape the prison her sons had trapped her within as they tyranize and empire that spans a continent. As told through a dream/vision of the Inverted Theater, where shades throughout time are called while they sleep to witness a performance put on by the favoured child of moon and sea. Intercut with the same tale as told through out POV’s grandmother, along with vignettes of his life as the son of a failing cloth merchant centuries in the future as the world goes through its equivalent of WW1. All this metaness and layering is either the book’s strongest point or it will make your eyes roll back into your skull so, you know, make an informed choice here.

Being entirely honest I don’t remember exactly how this book ended up on my radar – I believe I was first pointed towards after I expressed some dissatisfaction with this year’s Hugo nominees as something that would have been a more deserving inclusion on the short list. Certainly I’d never heard Jimenez’s name before picking it up. Entirely happy I did, anyway – whoever first rec’d it yes, this does deserve a Hugo nod way more than some of the other nominations.

The plot itself is quite well done, but absent any of the stylistic flourish wouldn’t really have been anything that memorable. The layered framing devices – and the way that they intrude on the narrative in a hundred different ways, switching from depicting the action to saying how it was staged and presented or how the narrator heard the tale told – are really just fantastically well done, enough that even when it got all meta and self-referential I was still enjoying it more than enough to just go with it.

Not that our heroes aren’t fun in their own right. They’re both at times profoundly unlikable, and other times utter idiots, and always totally and completely incapable of intelligibly expressing their feelings. It’s great, love them. Even if on occasion I also wanted to throw rocks at them. The main supporting cast – or at least Defect the tortoise and the moon/empress herself – are even better, really.

Though as far as characterization goes its the extras where the book really shines. It has a trick I really, really like where little snippets of the internal monologue or history of some fellow traveller on the road or sentry being gutter from behind are interspersed into the action in italics like this. Diegetically this would be the chorus in the theatrical performance, but regardless it does a shocking amount to make the world feel like it’s full of actual people and not just mannequins forming a backdrop for the characters who matter.

The book fits into the honourable tradition of modern SFF with cool-eyed and unsentimental portrayals of feudalism/imperialism, war crimes and general oppression (including in this case very plot-relevant and character-informing ableism) but only a vague and attenuated sort of 21st century homophobia, if that. Like all modern queer genrefic it’s also at least kind of in conversation with the looming shadow of Burying Your Gays, with a bait and switch tragic heroic sacrifice that seemed very conscious and pointed.

The framing devices lend themselves well to the book being written in a kind of mythic register, which I very much enjoyed. The epilogue felt like an intrusion of history on mythology, and I do mean that as a compliment, full of messiness and ambiguity and short on heroes and golden ages or utopias. Overall very much enjoyed the book, perfect reading for being stuck in a waiting room for a passport renewal.

[steddie-fanfic-recs]

I’m a lover, boy

by GayJinkies

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson Additional Tags: Eddie Munson has a dick piercing, what a tag to start off with, First Time Blow Jobs, Blowjobs, Doing it for the dare, Eddie Munson Has a Crush on Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington speedruns his sexuality crisis, Himbo Steve Harrington, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Gay Eddie Munson, They’re both disasters folks, ”I’m not gay but I wanna blow you anyway” type disasters, Crack, This is dumb as hell I’m so serious, Smut, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down (Stranger Things), Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, They’re idiots your honour, Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, but more like morons to lovers, a sprinkle of angst for flavour, Dacryphilia, like big time, Top Eddie Munson, Bottom Steve Harrington, Sub Steve Harrington, give the guy a break he’s just now figuring out what he’s into Words: 13,425 Chapters: 3/3

Summary

“Uh.” Harrington’s eyes are darting up to Eddie’s face and back down to his clasped hands, over and over. “So. I was — but it’s not like that, y’know? Because I’m — and I just wanted to —“ “Harrington,” Eddie interrupts, scowling. “Stop wasting my time. Spit it the fuck out.” Harrington glares at him, eyes narrowing. “Fine. Fine.” He pauses, biting his lip, before saying, “Are you gay?” Eddie’s blood runs cold. His brain stalls. “Uh. I don’t think I understand.” Harrington throws his head back in frustration, cursing under his breath at the sky. The movement ruffles his hair, strands curling around his ears as he looks upwards. When he looks back to Eddie, he says, very slowly, “I was hoping you were gay, Munson, so I could give you a blowjob and prove to myself that I’m good at it.” —— Or; the basketball team unanimously votes that Steve would be the worst at giving a blowjob. Steve wants to test the truth of that with the only guy he knows might be down to help - Eddie Munson.

[ceo-of-stealing-ur-fucking-teeth]

Content Warning: Religious Trauma, Religious, Emotional, Physical, Sexual, and Child Abuse

As a Catholic Kid, I was taught three things very early on;

1. Gods love was unconditional

2. Until there were conditions he, or the adults in my life didn’t like

3. And then his anger was terrible.

Many people who have dealt with toxic families, either by being in one, or by being a social worker, therapist, teacher, or any other aid of that nature, might recognize a lot of these. I’m of the first category.

My Catholic upbringing groomed me for abuse from an early age.

God loved gays. Until said gays wanted to do things like have relationships, or exist more loudly in the world, or deviate in any way from what my Catholic family found appropriate. Like having the audacity to want to be married. “I’ll love you, and whoever you choose to love.” My divorced Catholic mother told me, one day when I’m confronting her. “But we will not recognize a marriage.” “Why can’t one of my children be straight!” She laments, when another kid comes out. She doesn’t remember the pictures she’d allow to be painted of loneliness and damnation for her young queer child, the noises of judgment and the hushed whispers of relatives that brought shame to the family. The tone of Justice when something bad would happen to a gay person, like somehow they’d earned their fate with AIDS, or at the hands some some drunk redneck.

God loves Children. That’s why he hates abortion. Nevermind that there’s descriptions of how to provide them in the bible. He wants you to yell at women going into clinics, even the young teenage girls who said no, who couldn’t say no, who said yes but had no resources to know about safe sex, or even the ones who just wanted to have fun. They don’t get a childhood, it’s been taken, they don’t deserve it. They don’t own their bodies, and never will. Despite God getting a young woman pregnant out of wedlock. At least he asked for consent. He loves all the starving children, the LGBTQ+ children kicked out of their homes by his adherents, the ones in Warzones, the ones being killed. Suffering, while he watches. Sometimes blamed, because they didn’t believe in him the way we did. He even loves the victims of his church as they shuffle another priest off to another parish, leaving another group of children broken and traumatized.

God loves women. If they followed his ideal of womanhood. Don’t have sex except to have kids. But you’re faulty if you can’t and you shouldn’t try anything to fix it despite the judgement others feel for you and your defective body. And no abortion for you, even if the ultrasound tells you your baby, that you’ve carried for months, has no heartbeat, or half a brain, or is conjoined to their twin in a way that will insure they have no quality of life. Sacrifice everything for your husband and children. Be modest, be subservient. Never blame men, even when they grab you and grope you and tell you it’s fine, because you were probably leading them on. Don’t get divorced, even if you don’t love him anymore, even if he hurts you with words or fists, even if he’s useless around the home because the home is your job, no matter how much there is to shoulder. He works so hard as the head of the house, while he ignores his children and eats the food you make and can’t even figure out how to wash his laundry and he’ll just mess it up anyways, so why don’t you do it for him?

You don’t ask questions. You don’t. You obey mom and dad, even when they isolate you, and abuse you. You’re not mentally ill and young, you’re evil. You’re not chafing under their control and telling them that they’re hurting you, you’re venomous. You’re going to confession because you’re not honouring your parents. Nevermind that honour is nothing in that home. Hypocrisy is all you see from an early age, mother and father telling you one thing and doing another. You family lives a lie, and the other adults around you watch it and do nothing. Your priest, their friends in the church, good people of the Faith, see and hear things and let it happen because it’s none of their business. As a homeschooled child, you have no exposure to mandatory reporters, and they instilled a fear of the government in you that insures after a while you stop talking about it. If you go to foster care you’ll never see any of your siblings again, even though there were other family members who would have found out. Eventually so many things are internalized, the blame, the shame, the ahistorical understanding of the world, the fact that people deserve to suffer because that means they’re evil or faulty somehow. But god loves them! The sexism, the homophobia, xenophobia. A moment of I love you followed by days of screaming, blame, hitting. “Why are you cringing, you act like we beat you.” Then ten minutes later they walk up behind you, slap your skull to get your attention and demand to know why the cupboard was left open. On, and on.

Pain and suffering are Gods will. Fetishized, with bloody crucifixes and stories of martyrs. Especially yours, and people like you. It’s in the books you read and on the lips of adults who you trust. It’s used to justify hurting others because they’re different or making mistakes. Love and pain and cruelty become tangled in each other.

You think about hell, and you’re very small, and you start crying because you already know that you’re making God angry and sad because that’s how your parents talk to you. And you don’t know it yet but it’s going to get worse. You’re going to grow up preconditioned for people to hurt you.

But God loves you unconditionally.

[ferallester]

okay so I didn’t have the motivation to do Appreciation Week at first, but seeing @yonpote do it all in one day has inspired me so let’s do it! (but with screenshots and stuff bc Yeah LMAO)

for @dpgdaily’s Dan and Phil Appreciation Week!

post is under a break so that it doesn’t just break tumblr

Day 1 - Favourite Dan and/or Phil quote:

the entire opening from the pinof 7 bloopers is hilarious but by far one of my favourite quotes (one that has continually haunted me since 2016, when I watched it for the first time) is:

D: Stand still!

P: Stencil!

D: … I’m gonna hit you. [laughs] Shut up!

I quote this weirdly often in my fics. In fact, I’m pretty sure two of my recent published fics use it as a reference. I didn’t realise until now that I was partially misquoting it XD

I also can’t not mention, from Basically I’m Gay (the entire part from when Dan starts talking about Phil is linked, quote starts about twenty seconds later):

D: We are real best friends, companions through life, like actual soulmates […]

maybe he was trying to be ironic, but there’s something intensely poetic about his body language when he describes them as actual soulmates

I’m obsessed with it, but in like the way people don’t shut up about Pride and Prejudice, maybe, idk I’m just bisexual and hoping that I get half as lucky as the boys have

there are many more moments tbh I could say LMAO

Day 2 - Favourite Dan and Phil Series:

OUGHHHHH THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY REALLY DIFFICULT—

what is now called Season 1 of the Sims 4 and the Undertale playthrough are VERY close contenders, but I think my favourite series is actually the DITLs! (there’s no playlist for this one rip)

you can easily split them into two or three sections (depending on if you count any of The Making Of videos for TABINOF, the calendars, or the prep for II as DITLs), and each section has something wonderful to enjoy!

the ‘local’ DITLs (Manchester and London) are incredibly domestic, with the boys just going about a semi-typical day, and the Festive DITL honestly just turns that up to a hundred, I love the domestic ones so much

the ‘holiday’ ones too (Japan and Australia) are also super fun, because we get to see the boys doing silly touristy things like holding koalas or hanging around one of the busiest intersections in Tokyo (I also keep hearing conspiracies about the Australian one LMAO)

the ‘making of’ videos are their own unique source of slice-of-life entertainment, because They’re Getting Important Stuff Done but they’re making it entertaining for us too

my favourites are the original DITL and Festive DITL <3

Day 3 - Favourite Dan and/or Phil Outfit:

used @phanoutfitsblog’s screenshots for most of these, with the exception of Dan’s initial look in the baking video (also I’d be lying if I said that Sister Daniel wasn’t high up on this list hhhh)

can Phil stop being pretty for FIVE MINUTES JEEZ— it’s actually incredibly difficult to pin down favourite outfits for him bc he just. Keeps. On. WINNING.

his red shirt in the red carpet roasting video is probably the most iconic so far but it could really have been literally any other outfit he’s worn in the last several years

and Dan’s no slouch, either! this man is gorgeous and he ROCKS it! he wore this particular shirt (?) to an interview (or at least it was framed like one) and he looks INCREDIBLE in it but I can’t remember where I found the other screenshot so I won’t post it lmao

his initial appearance in the Halloween baking video before he changes into Sister Daniel is also equally pretty bc of the makeup and honestly? gimme your gender Howell

other honourable mentions include a recent magazine shoot that I’ve forgotten the name of (some phan I am LMAO, shame on me for only remembering the pink), and his dystopia motorcycle twink shirt from the red carpet video

Day 4 - Favourite Joint Content

oooh, difficult question, that’s like choosing a favourite child! still, the answer to this one is a lot simpler than Day 5 below, because it’s the original PINOF, as well as the photobooth challenge!

while PINOF wasn’t my initial introduction to the boys (that goes to the Sims 4), it’s one of the earliest things I watched of them, and almost certainly what got me to stick with them! (along with the Sims 4… LMAO)

Dan says he was being ironic when he said ‘this is the most fun I’ve ever had, and maybe it’s the tism kicking in, but he doesn’t sound sarcastic or ironic when he says that

it’s pretty clear from the get go that they’re two boys (boys in love, even) making a silly video, having absolutely zero idea that it’s going to change the world <3

the pb challenge, meanwhile, is just incredibly funny, I remember almost hurting myself from laughing so hard the first time I watched it XD it hasn’t aged perfectly, but that’s most things from ten years ago

the honourable mentions list is VERY long so I won’t put all of them here LMAO, but the Get Down video is one of them XD

Day 5- Favourite DanAndPhilGames video

oooh, another difficult question, here, because more often than not, the answer is yes! I could say the Halloween baking video one day, and the Katamari video the next, and one of the Sims 4 building videos because I’m a sucker for renovations (also, the GAY WEDDING and the RETURN in general!), and honestly there’s so many videos I’ve forgotten over the years (LOVE NIKKI!) but I think I’m gonna say the finale of Undertale!

it makes me cry every time I rewatch the series, and it’s such a beautiful story, and yeah I’m a mess just thinking about it, because the fact that they chose to be pacifists from the get go is one of the genuinely sweetest things I can think of

Day 6 - Favourite Solo Video(s)

oh no I don’t actually know how to fully answer for Dan, but at a guess… yeah who am I kidding, it’s BIG and We’re All Doomed! :D (yes I know WAD! isn’t a video (yet, hopefully) but it overrides literally everything else bc I loved that night so much)

BIG, as a queer person, is just honestly so incredibly important to me, because being able to listen to other queer people — very successful ones, too — and how they’ve struggled in ways I’ve been fortunate to have never suffered, and how they overcame it all, and are still dealing with it to this day? yeah I’m still so proud of Dan for it all, he deserves the life he’s made for himself <3

WAD is in a similar vein to this, but with the addition of me being able to actually MEET Dan and then watch him on STAGE as he did his comedy show! I made him laugh with a joke about Australian summer being hell, and that’s probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me <3

honourable mention goes to his Keep On Movin’ video, bc that’s just damn impressive

Phil, meanwhile… I have so many videos to choose from, and while Coming Out To You carries the same importance as BIG, if not more since I watch it more (I love them equally, but COTY is only eight minutes long okay), I am actually struggling to choose a favourite outside of it!

mostly because all my favourite Phil videos… are joint content videos!

that being said, his fourth ACNH video is incredibly sweet, and I think I might go rewatch the series!

also his house review videos (the apartment one and the expensive house one) are pretty iconic

AND the sleepless night series— can you see why I’m struggling? :’D

Day 7 - What do Dan and Phil mean to you?

(oh god I am so sorry for this monster)

I don’t remember 2016 being a particularly rough year for me, despite the many star-studded losses (rip Anton Yelchin especially), and maybe it would’ve been that way even if I hadn’t found Dan and Phil, but finding them at what could be considered their initial peak of fame was probably one of the best things that could have happened to me, because I was just a year into my experiences with internet fandom, and what better way to do that than get yeeted into the chaotic world of two British dorks on the net that everyone and their cat shipped?

I may have missed out on the radio shows, sure, and I missed out on pretty much every YouNow and Rize show and whatnot because I’m a goose, but I came into the fandom just in time to see TATINOF live, even though I couldn’t get a meet and greet ;w; one day I’ll catch Phil

I distinctly remember being at the Gold Coast Eisteddfod, which was an hour south of Brisbane, on the same night as TATINOF, and absolutely booking it back with my mum to Brisbane, stressing the entire way even as we got McDonalds and I got changed out of what was either my school uniform or my performance uniform (I can’t remember) into something more normal for a night at QPAC

and yet, once I was there, I had probably one of the best nights of my life, because TATINOF, in my opinion, is the best thing the boys have ever done on stages (II and WAD! are very close tho don’t get me wrong)

someone helped me draw cat whiskers on my face, I remember chatting happily to other phannies around me (what about, I have long forgotten), and I remember how loud it was, and how much I didn’t mind that, for the first time in my life

I bought more merch at II and WAD!, because I was either given more money or I actually had money to spend since I got my job by WAD!, but, even when disappointed by the fact that I couldn’t afford much, I have cherished my TATINOF lanyard since that fateful night in August 2015, because it symbolises just how much I love the two gay dorks who are now two of my biggest queer role models

the fact that they chose us over fame and fortune in the entertainment industry? I’m so grateful for that, because it means, even though we gave them utter hell (I wasn’t quite one of them, but I probably did a few minor demon things as a teen LMAO), they cared, and still care, about us, the audience

this is getting SO long and waffly, oh my GOD, this is why my current fic is eleven k long already, uhhhh tl;dr they’re weird and queer (affectionate), I’m weird and queer, and I am so glad I found them, because having them in my life is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, down to graduating from high school and university and having their videos to watch <3

okay that’s enough sappiness this took me like three or four hours love y’all <3

thanks @dpgdaily for hosting!!!!

[catcake24]

One headcanon/idea I love and will hold unto is that the Idols in every Splatoon game have a different kind of relationship:

Squid Sisters - Sisterly, obviously. They annoy one another but they love eachother, and treat one another like ideal siblings (annoying but very supportive and loving)

Off the Hook - Lesbians. They are gay your honour, totally in love. I don’t really need to convince anyone, do I?

Deep Cut - Chaotic Childhood friends. They canonically have been friends since middle school, becoming a music group and friend group, as well as being roommates. They clash a lot and annoy eachother, but it’s all playful and they would beat up anyone who hurts their friend. They’re like team rocket, with big gay solidarity vibes lol

((Like I get Shiver/Frye and Deep Cut poly shippers, I see you, but I must disagree. I like them wayyy more as a platonic group, laughing and having fun as they play turf battles or watch a movie at home. ))

Idk I feel like it makes every group feel even more unique, with future Idols maybe going with at-odds relationships or co-workers to friends vibes. The possibilities are endless!!

[lottiepumpkinofficial]

day 15

chap’s 46,47,48,49

i’m feeling a little unwell today and i’m all cosy in bed so i know i’ll enjoy reading but apologies if my notes are a little lackluster

“to please people she didn’t like” i feel like we do that so much in this generation and if you get one thing from rwch i think it’s that you should give up on being anyone but yourself

“golden streamers” am i thinking too hard or was this a hint

ugh not this twat again

thanks jamie

“‘As you wish,’” don’t make me cry jamie

“‘I want to help you if you’ll let me.’” one of the hardest lessons to ever learn is that you can’t help someone that doesn’t want help

they’re gay, your honour

they’re very gay, your honour

THEYRE SUPER ULTRA GAY, your honour

poor ani, she’s cursed with the burden of knowledge

ugh stop thinking about dancing with edmund ew

“‘Lottie, the only thing I’ve ever been with a boy is annoyed.’” she is an icon she is a legend and she is the moment

also, ellie has only met 20 people before rosewood, and the only boy we know of is jamie which definitely not- he’s definitely the “annoyed”, and lottie would have known if ellie was “with a boy” at rosewood. also she’s clearly very very gay. so like, why would you ask that lottie

“‘I will be there for you to break his pompous nose.’” good- you will

no lottie you don’t need to dance with that prince, you’ve got your own

noooo lottie don’t go with him

“her tiara flew off her head” im sorry but as someone with a tiara and certified lottie curly hair, there is no way the tiara would fly off her head- fall off, sure, but i guarantee at least one bit of the tiara would get caught in her hair on the way off making it much slower

fuck you edmund

thank fuck for ellie and jamie

jamie being a boss bitch

what was saskias plan if the incident hadn’t occurred?

if i were lottie id want ellie to come with me, but then maybe that’s just my knowledge of what happens

well shit

[clarkes-and-god]

💯 for Beth and Joanna!

agh sorry this took so long to answer!!! have been attempting to build up my queue. love ur blog!!!

joanna:

1. she has like, level 6 writing skill and was originally going to be a writer a la gay girl, good god. but i watched a really interesting documentary on netflix called pray away. colossians is like a medium amount of inspired by exodus (the organisation in that documentary) but the people in it are much nicer than the ricciardis (at least while they’re filming in the present day). i’m lowkey sad i didn’t do the writer idea now that kelly havens is writing overly affectionate purple prose about her female friends to announce her pregnancy.

2. antonio and her are currently working on a under the sea themed puzzle. it’s summer in my game so nice and seasonal.

3. her and jessica actually never officially broke up. then she was her maid of honour at her wedding to mr conversion therapy guy. a bitch move and poor jessica.

beth:

1.she has hypertension/high blood pressure! she’s not on medication for this and instead just drinks a whole bunch of water. i’ve gotta hope this works out for her but at least she’s hydrated ig.

2. natan told her that if you swallow apple seeds, a tree will grow in your stomach when they were kids. she still believes this and is very careful to spit out any seeds.

3. her kids are planned to have my most interesting name theme so far. very excited for when the babies are born and i can share this with you.