#they’re lucky she’s doing it in the off season honestly

[ri-afan]

Me watching the boss take down the Help Wanted signs while knowing my coworker is going to resign in the morning:

[ak4e7a]

𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐦 (𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞) - 𝐩𝐬𝐡

𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧 / '𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲'𝐬 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐦

synopsis: you were never one to take the high road... until you met someone who made your body burn like rubber on asphalt.

street racer! hoon x street racer!maneater! reader

wc: 16.9k holy fuck honestly this hoe might be a 3-parter lowk

a/n: hi sorry i disappeared... but enjoy LOL and happy one year to my blog! i met so many cool people over this past year. reblogs are appreciated and i will astral project into your room and hug you ≽ܫ≼

banner by @karinasbaby i love you this one's for you big dawg. year in the making, let's go

“Didn’t think you were going to grace us with your presence tonight, Miss Probation,” Jaeyun smirks as you get out of your car, swinging both of your legs out closed like a lady so as to not flash anyone with the black miniskirt you’re wearing. He greets you with an air-kiss to your cheek, to which you roll your eyes—although you bask in the way the other girls stare at the two of you. If only they knew how annoying your best friend actually was.

“It’s Jungwonie’s turn to race for us, so who am I to deprive my brother and the team of our good luck charm? We need all the luck we can get tonight,” you reply, taking a seat on the hood of your baby pink Supra. “We’re on a good win streak. Might even take this season’s cup without me.”

The other racers from different teams have started to arrive, many of them making their way over to say hello to you. You give your girls—Jimin, who races for Razor; Aeri, the beloved race girl; and Soyeon, a member of the AZ team—air-kisses from across the parking lot. You aren’t feeling like walking over to the groups they’re mingling with. (And because you don’t feel like being near Hwang Hyunjin right now.)

“Fair enough,” he acquiesces, sitting beside you when you pat the spot next to him. “But you know, Wonie is better than you think—”

“Hey, you never let me sit on your car,” Wonbin says, striding over to you with a smirk. You glance up at him, and he looks like he’s expecting you to either push Jaeyun off or scoot over yourself—either way, he wants a turn.

Basically everyone in your little racing scene does, but you think it’s more fun to work them like dogs than to give in to anyone. Especially not after what happened with— “You’re not even in Enigma, Wonbin. Privilege is for teammates only, get lost,” Jaeyun says condescendingly.

He looks at you again, like an expectant puppy—which only works if it’s Jaeyun doing it to you— waiting for you to reach into your purse. You sigh and reach in and feel around for a particular wrapper. “Here. Go away.”

The Australian snickers as Wonbin walks away dejectedly. “The grandma coffee candy, huh?”

“He was too cocky, that's all he deserves tonight. Even if he’s cute. He’s lucky I gave him anything at all.”

“What about me? I’m cuter,” Jaeyun asks, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear with his signature cheeky grin, batting his eyelashes at you the way you do to him. You’re used to flirting with him; it’s more of a way to keep both your skills and his sharp than anything romantic or suggestive. After all, you grew up with Jaeyun, and you know all his embarrassing secrets just like he knows yours. One time in high school, the two of you fake-dated for a week to get some girl too obsessed with him for her own good to leave him alone. It’s safe to say she didn’t buy it, not one bit. You and him bickered too much for it to be believable, and you accidentally screamed when he kissed you on the forehead. 

“Hmm…” Playfully, you pretend to be deep in thought, hand digging in your purse again. “Here.”

His face lights up in innocent delight, a huge contrast to his outfit of baggy cargo pants, oversized hoodie, and sneakers, complete with a thick, iced-out Cuban-link chain around his neck. “Ooh, yum! Grape Hi-Chew!”

You roll your eyes. “I only carry that for you, loser. Everyone knows the mango one is the best.”

“You just say that because grape was—”

“Hey, Y/N! Nice wrap,” Riki says, waving his long arms at you like he’s drowning. The tall, newly-turned 21-year-old bounds towards you before tackling you in a hug that sends you almost crashing into the ground, your hands flying to tug the hem of your skirt down lest your protective younger brother scold you about not dressing for the weather. It’s a cold spring night, as proven by Riki who’s in a loose, knitted navy blue sweater and destroyed light wash jeans.

“Jeez, Riki, I just saw you yesterday, no need to suffocate me,” you grumble affectionately, reaching up to muss his black-and-silver hair before sitting back down on the hood of your car. You’ve been fond of the boy since Jungwon brought him over one day, his first new friend since losing his best friend (and one of yours, honestly) in a betrayal that still hurts to speak of to this day. Riki clings onto you like you’re his older sister, too, and you reckon it probably has something to do with missing his own sister back home. “You saw me finish the wrap on the car, too, remember? Jimin and Soyeon were there.”

“Yeah, yeah, but it looks good even at night! Very professional. Maybe you can wrap the GTR next?” he says, to which you side-eye him, and he adds, “I can pay you.”

“You can pay for my meals every time we go out to eat for the next three months and I’ll call it even.”

He laughs. “Okay, deal. You eat less than Jungwon hyung, anyways.”

“Why are you talking shit about me to my sister again, freak?” your younger brother demands, making his way up to the small crowd that’s starting to form around you, Riki, and Jaeyun. He looks taller today, you think to yourself, and when he comes into full view, you see that he’s riding on the back of an unfamiliar person, a tall man with a sharp jawline and a pretty nose, whose bangs droop over his eyes. He’s wearing a white tank top and jeans, with a black and blue leather racing jacket covering his torso from the chilly Seoul air. 

“Well, did I fucking lie?” Riki snaps back, arms crossed. You hide your laugh in the crook of your arm, eyes locking with the man who’s got your brother draped over his broad shoulders like a backpack. He looks at you intensely, in a way that makes you feel like he’s got x-ray vision or something. You feel like your insides are turning into lava. What’s his deal?

“Whatever, cricket legs.” Jungwon jumps off the man’s back, shaking his hair out of his eyes. You notice that he’s yet again stolen one of your oversized hoodies. “Oh, hyung! This is my sister, by the way. Noona, this is Sunghoon hyung. He’s joining Enigma.”

He’s cute, pretty, even, and you like that. You’ve always preferred pretty boys. And up until about five seconds ago, you would have said that—even though your ex-boyfriend is a cheating bastard who deserves nothing but suffering—he was still the prettiest man you’ve come across. 

But this one, this one in front of you right now, this one takes the cake. He’s got full, thick brows that frame dark almond eyes, and his cheekbones flow into his jawline in a way that makes you think his face has probably stopped traffic at least once in his life. Before you stare at him for way too long, you reach into your purse and pull out one of your mango-flavored Hi-Chews (from your personal stash) to give him. 

“Hi, Sunghoon. Nice to meet you. Welcome to Enigma.”

He repeats his own version of your greeting a bit too curtly for your liking, but you don’t care either way, he’ll be under your thumb in no time, just like everyone else, just the way you like. Rolling the wrapped cube in his hand, he asks, “What’s this for?”

To which you reply, “Oh, nothing. I just like candy.”

“I feel like ‘like’ is an understatement,” Riki snorts, sticking his hand in your purse for something he can snack on. You sigh and hand him your purse for him to rummage around more freely. 

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow at that, but turns to you anyways. “Do you race, too? I don’t want to assume or anything.”

You give him a coy smile, translucent bubblegum-pink-manicured fingernails clicking against the hood of your car as you drum your fingers against it. “Yeah, I do. I’m banned from racing right now, though, until the end of the season at least.”

He cocks his head like a curious puppy, blinking slowly at you. Oh, no. He’s cute and probably doesn’t know it, but he’s definitely dressed like he knows he’s hot. “Why’s that?”

Your smile turns into a smug smirk as you answer, “Because I go too fast.”

“Fourth-gen Supra,” he muses, glancing between your bare legs at the titanium Toyota emblem on the hood that you’d had imported from Japan. For some reason, you have to resist the urge to squeeze your thighs together. “Cute.”

“Oh? And what’s your ride?”

“Beamer M8 Comp,” Sunghoon says, an air of nonchalance about the answer like it’s nothing special. It kind of pisses you off. You’re pretty certain he didn’t win that car by racing for the pink slip like you did with your Supra. Before you got that car, Jungwon’s 350Z was yours, and you’d only had it because you salvaged it from a junkyard and rebuilt the whole damn thing yourself when you weren’t working or sleeping.

If there’s one thing you might hate more in this life than cheaters, it’s people who come from money, people who didn’t understand or couldn’t comprehend that they were playing life on easy mode. People who never had to suffer, because, to you, they never learned anything.

Sure, you had a hard life. Sure, your parents kicked you and Jungwon to the curb when the both of you refused to take over the family business. Sure, you worked hundreds or, more likely, thousands of hours just to make ends meet and take care of your brother while the two of you finished school. Sure, you wished you could have enjoyed your youth more instead of having to worry about money.

But instead, you had to pay the price for your freedom. Part of you still wonders if it was all worth it. If you should have stayed in your hometown. If you should have just went along with the arranged marriage your parents were proposing with someone you didn’t even know instead of running away with your ex and dragging Jungwon to hell with you.

Okay, maybe it really pisses you off. 

“Ooh, rich boy,” you deadpan, your long nails preventing you from balling your hands into fists. You deny him the pleasure of seeing you roll your eyes back into your head. “Daddy must have spent a lot on you.”

“That’s not very welcoming to say,” he shoots back, although his voice is just as flat, his eyes narrowed at you.

You pout mockingly at him. “I’m just teasing our newest member—don’t worry, silver spoon. It’ll be over for you sooner if you decide to quit while you’re ahead.”

“You scared you won’t be the best racer on the team anymore or something, princess?”

“Just wait for me to get off probation and I’ll make you eat my brake dust, Daddy’s Money.”

“You’re already calling me daddy, even though we just met? Because it was my money that bought the car, for the record.”

You’re a little embarrassed and also slightly turned on, neither of which you would ever admit to even Jaeyun, and he knows you just about as well as he knows every single Fortnite map. “Tell someone who cares.”

The back-and-forth between the two of you is thankfully cut short as everyone hears the roar of a particular engine, marking the arrival of Enigma’s leader. You could just kiss him for his impeccable timing—if it weren’t for the fact that neither of you saw each other that way. You reckon both of you would rather eat a jean jacket than get more intimate than the platonic skinship that marks your friendship with him and the other Enigma boys.

People move aside as he puts the metallic, slime green Lamborghini Huracan in reverse and backs up into the parking spot next to you. The ostentatious exotic car belonging to Jay was gifted to him by one of his first clients, a filthy rich businessman who respected and admired Jay’s hard work and dedication to his job despite Jay being a corporate grunt in those days. During this period in your lives, Jay never once showed up late to a meeting with Mr. Big—even when his old Mitsubishi Lancer finally gave up on him after years of being pushed to its limit, even if it meant he had to wake up at three in the morning to start walking from his old apartment in Ahyeon-dong to Gangnam to make the scheduled 6 AM meetings—since the subways unfortunately didn’t operate until 5:30.

After Old Moneybags found out about Jay’s struggle, it was safe to say your best friend wasn’t on hard times for very long after that.

“Jay!” you call out, playing up your role as the only girl in Enigma just to assert dominance over the racer groupies in attendance tonight. You haven’t seen him since the last race, on account of the both of you being too busy with your work schedules to hang out properly. You immediately nudge past everyone—including Sunghoon, who you intentionally brush up against, your ass against his leg—to be the first to greet him.

“Hey, sweets, missed you,” he says, pulling you into a hug. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah, been just fine. You know me, I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself,” you assure him with a smile. He pinches your cheek. “What about you?”

“Oh, same shit, different day. Hoping I finally clutch this huge promotion at work. Head of an entire department,” he answers, protective hand on your waist as he guides you back to the rest of the Enigma boys. Along the way, he daps up some of the other racers who say hi to him, before giving Sunghoon, Jungwon, and Riki a dap and that weird side hug that guys who are close friends do. “Have you met Sunghoon yet?”

“Yeah, I have.” Your lips form into a slight pout, even though you know everyone but Riki is immune to your occasional petulance. “No one told me we were getting a new member. I thought we agreed to vote if it ever happened again? And… I thought it was never going to happen again?”

“You weren’t answering your phone when we voted, so Riki and Wonie took your vote,” Jaeyun snickers, shaking Jay’s hand and giving him the one-armed, “definitely not gay, bro” hug. “Think you had the group chat muted again.”

“Well, that was for good reason,” you argue crossly. While you loved your boys, that didn’t stop them from getting on your nerves at least once a day. “I was mad at you guys for not wanting to go get milk tea with me. And then you got it without me, clearly.”

“Didn’t we bring you some that night, though?” Jay retorts, ever the level-headed one when his temper wasn’t getting the best of him.

“Yeah… but I wanted to come! We live in the same building, for fuck’s sake!”

“It was a boys’ night, silly. Are you a boy?” Jaeyun pats your head and you swat his hand away, grumbling under your breath at him to not to touch you and to fuck off. 

Your attention veers to Jungwon as he turns to Sunghoon, who’s standing with his arms crossed, watching you bicker with the boys from a distance. “Don’t mind her, she’s always like this. You ready to race?”

“Always like what, Yang Jungwon?” you ask mirthlessly, hands on your hips.

“A brat!” Jaeyun and Jay answer on his behalf, tugging you away so as to allow the racers on tonight’s card to drive up to the starting line, and everyone else can get behind them.

That’s how your scene’s races have worked since you were tasked with changing the rules two years ago; two drivers from each team participating would race, while the others would drive behind them as pace cars. They would also be ready to distract the police at a moment’s notice and keep the roads clear of civillians. It was as ethical as you could make it, and, honestly, it worked and kept everyone safe.

On this night, you’ve been roped into Jaeyun’s metallic blue Mustang Shelby GT500, with glimmering white racing stripes you added on yourself, huffing and muttering to yourself about how the boys were being “mean” to you in front of Sunghoon to try and impress him. Jay has gone ahead to wait at the finish line. He’d refused—again—to not “put the Huracan anywhere near any of these morons with driver’s licenses,” and so he’s there to note down the order in which the racers arrive, armed with several precisely-calibrated stopwatches. 

You yourself have refused to ride with any other driver even though many of them offered to bring you along as their “passenger princess”. You will only ever ride with one of your boys. Riki is in his blacked out R35 Nissan GT-R, the other seats occupied with the life-sized plastic skeletons that he “borrowed” from his school’s anatomy lab. He’s cruising beside Jungwon, and behind you and Jaeyun; Sunghoon is in his own car beside you two.

“How’d you even meet that guy, anyways?” you groan to your best friend, trying to shield your eyes with the way Riki’s obnoxiously bright, blue underglow on his car is blinding you in your side mirror. Your hand dangles out of the open window, fingertips tapping idly on the outside of the door. “He’s so unfriendly.”

“Actually, he’s pretty cool when you get to know him. Riki and I met him at the gym a few weeks ago. He asked if one of us could spot him on the bench press—for three plates, that’s fucking sick! But, uh, yeah. We started working out together after that.”

You scoff. “Oh, great. Another meathead like you two.”

“Y/N, that’s not nice,” Jaeyun chides, glancing at you with the same affection of an older brother, even though you’re both 24 years old. “You’re not being very nice tonight.”

“Well, neither is he. He’s just some spoiled little rich boy who thinks he’s better than everyone.”

“Um… so am I, honestly… and so is Riki, honestly, but you don’t say anything about that, do you?”

You begin to reply, but you frown as Sunghoon speeds past the two of you in his pearly black BMW M8 Competition, the exhaust pipes screaming bloody murder, heading for the starting line just a hundred feet ahead. “Did he hear me say that about him?”

“Most likely.”

“Fuck.”

Part of you wants to apologize; maybe you’re being a little harsh on him, maybe you’re projecting your feelings towards this guy just because he reminds you of a certain someone, maybe you need to finally come to terms with what you’ve been denying for all these years.

Jaeyun pulls up to his spot behind the racers, right between Riki’s GT-R and Jungwon’s 350Z. You signal to the Nissan Boys, as you affectionately call your little brothers, to put their seatbelts on. They both pretend to sigh begrudgingly as they buckle themselves in.

The race girl is your good friend, Aeri, who every guy in your racing division is also obsessed with. Between the two of you, you think that she’s the truly adored one, because she is still as sweet as the day you met her—and you have an inclination to terrorize anyone of the opposite sex who rubs you the wrong way (due to your past). You can’t help it though, and, surprisingly, none of the boys who fall at your feet fault you for it.

But no one ever seemed to feel the need to prove you wrong, either, and that was your problem with them.

Aeri stands in between the middle two drivers, reaching under her top to unclip her bra. You take this as your cue to pull out the megaphone from where it sits waiting at your feet. Leaning out of the window, you announce, “First one to the base of Namsan Mountain wins! I expect a clean race, no funny business. Take no shit, but do no harm!”

“Isn’t that backwards?” Jaeyun whispers to you. You wave him off. He’s right, but you’re trying to emphasize your point about not dragging any innocent people into the racers’ mess.

You continue.“Tonight’s winner will receive the cash prize from me, personally, at a later time. Are we clear?”

A chorus of revved engines gives you your answer. “Alright. Aeri, count us down?”

She nods, pulling out her bra from her top and holding it up in the air. “‘Kay! You guys will go on 1! Ready? 3… 2… 1!” At the final number, she lets the hot pink satin garment drop to the ground, and everyone guns it, driving off in a flurry of exhaust smoke and burnt rubber.

“How much was the buy-in tonight, sweetie?” Jaeyun asks, using his own form of the sugar-derived nickname for you.

“Five million won apiece,” you answer. You scroll through Yun’s phone and play a song on his obnoxiously overpriced sound system. You’ve been joking to your friends that you’re in your “girl Future” era, citing your borderline toxic behavior towards the other racers who constantly slide in your DMs as proof that you’re literally the female version of the rapper. It doesn’t help that your coworker, Minjeong (who is also your self-appointed “work wife”), encourages you to torment men.

“‘I Serve the Base’? Really?” he snorts, leaning back in his seat. “You’re in a mood tonight, huh?”

“I dunno, it just fits the vibe,” you shrug. “Just quit yapping and drive, please.”

“Like I said, a mood.”

You sigh and physically turn away from him like a petulant girlfriend would—knees pointing towards the door and all—and stare out of the passenger window at the cars in front of you. You watch as Wonbin and Hyunjin duke it out on the road, trying to put each other in last place. The way they’re maneuvering their cars makes you a little uncomfortable, but also annoyed that they clearly didn’t listen to a word you said not two minutes ago. “Yunie, flash your high beams at them.”

“Say please.”

You look at him in confusion. Where’d he learn to say that?

“Sorry, Sunghoon does that to Riki and Jungwonie all the time.”

Yikes. Part of you hopes he doesn’t do it to girls, too… but you wouldn’t mind it if he were to do it to you. It’s high time someone really makes an effort to put you in your place, honestly. You reach behind you, to the back seat and grab the laptop you took from Riki, opening it up and typing furiously.

“What are you doing?”

“Accessing the street cameras,” you answer like it’s obvious. Being nefariously good at using the Internet was a perk that came with hanging out with your brother way too much. “I want to see what’s going on.”

“Well? Give me the rundown, then.”

“Jungwonie is in third place, it looks like. He’s gapped Hyunjin in front of us by at least a kilometer… and he’s approaching San and Wooyoung real quick. But—fuck, wait.” You click through a bunch of tabs, scanning the screen faster than when you’re reading twenty-six text message screenshots that Aeri sent you to dissect. “I can’t find Sunghoon anywhere.”

“What? What do you mean you can’t find him? Did he get pulled over or something?” he asks, lowering the volume of his speakers using the button on his steering wheel, eyes still trained on the road in front of him. He flashes his lights again, this time at just Wonbin to pick up the pace, urging him to pass Riki—who now has his underglow set to a stealthy dark red—up ahead.

“No… just… wait, give me a sec… oh, holy fuck.” You click through the camera footage, rewinding it and slowing down the playback. “Oh, my God.”

“Jesus Christ, what is it? You can’t just cliffhanger me like that!”

“I can’t see him because his lights are off.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I think he has a mod on his car—you literally can’t see him unless he drives under a streetlight.”

“Wait, that’s what Riki imported for him?!”

“What the—oh shut the fuck up, it was me who imported that light system! That fucker said it was for a friend when I asked him why he was buying new bulbs, ‘cause I knew he just got those halo LEDs!” You take a deep breath before sticking your hand in the pocket of Jaeyun’s pants.

“Yo! I thought we agreed not to fuck in the car! And especially not while I’m driving—but I guess I shouldn’t turn down some road head…”

“God, shut up, you perv! I need to get your phone and call Sunghoon!” you cry out. “He needs to turn his lights on, what if he gets hit by someone?!”

Jaeyun laughs. He laughs. At your misery, or your panic, or at you. “So you do like him.”

“Shut the fuck up, seriously, Yun, I just don’t want anyone getting hurt. We’re already on thin ice with the cops as it is!”

“Shoutout San, though,” he chuckles, shifting gears so he can close the gap between him and Wonbin, who is starting to approach Hyunjin again. 

Your friend Choi San, also a racer on the AZ team, is from a family of high-ranking Seoul Police Department officials; he’d gotten pretty much everyone off the hook more than once for various traffic violations. You keep a stash of mint chocolates in your purse for whenever he’s around—even if they remind you of your ex-best friend—as your way of thanking him for keeping everyone’s records clean. It also helps that he absolutely loves your attention. 

“You’re so annoying, Sim Jaeyun. Let me call Sunghoon, seriously.”

“Dude, chill, look at the cams again. The gap between everyone is getting smaller.”

You check the laptop screen again, and he’s right. You see Jungwon overtake both San and Wooyoung, and while you’re still holding your breath in worry over your baby brother, another part of your heart soars with pride at how good he’s gotten. You’d like to think that he got his driving skills from you, even though it was your stupid prick of an ex-boyfriend who first put him behind the wheel of a car.

But when you look up, you notice that Jaeyun is distracted trying to change the song playing on his phone. And there’s a sharp turn coming up ahead. You feel sick, adrenaline immediately rushing through your bloodstream.

Instead of screaming nonsense, you slam the laptop shut, tossing it on the floor and practically crawling across the center console to grab the wheel with one hand and the e-brake with the other. You drive your knee into Jaeyun’s leg to floor the accelerator, and at the same time, you deploy the e-brake and turn the steering wheel hard. The car drifts around the turn with ease, thanks to him immediately springing into action, tossing his phone somewhere in the cupholders and countersteering as he shifts gears.

“Pay attention next time,” you mutter in annoyance, as if the two of you almost crashing was a slight inconvenience and nothing more.

“Sorry, Mommy,” he snorts, downshifting back to his cruising speed. You give him the middle finger as you watch the cars change formation in front of you. Hyunjin cuts off Wooyoung at the junction between two roads, and Wooyoung swerves in the opposite direction to avoid hitting San to his left. Wonbin approaches from behind San, flashing his lights, trying to get one of them to move over, but they both downshift, forcing Wonbin to brake, fall back, and move over to try and find another opening.

And then it happens.

You hear a distinct 8-liter engine roaring furiously somewhere in the vicinity, but you see nothing. You think for a second that it could be the sound of a police helicopter overhead, but you doubt it, not if San tipped off his family that there would be a race tonight, and he always does, because you remind him to do it. You think that he pretends to forget just so you’re forced to text him and he’ll have an excuse to talk to you, but you don’t really care because he’s sweet and always earns himself the best of your candy stash—although you’ll reluctantly admit that Sunghoon has been the first to get the candy that you carry for yourself. 

Because you’re not allowed to smoke inside Jaeyun’s car, you unwrap another mango Hi-Chew and wonder if Sunghoon would taste like you if you kissed him. Sure, you don’t like him all that much so far, but he’s hot, so maybe you could just hook up with him and dip—

Oh, who are you kidding? You haven’t slept with anyone since your ex, even though everyone thinks otherwise. You’ve made out with San and Hyunjin a few times, much to the amusement of Jaeyun and Jay, but you never let it get past that. You just go home and use your vibrator to finish the job. Sex is too intimate, feels too much like baring your soul to someone else and you don’t want anyone to get too close like that any time soon.

Too close, too close, too close just like the sound of that engine, and it snaps you out of your thoughts. Sunghoon finally turns his lights on, and reveals his location for everyone to see. He’s at the front, way ahead of even Jungwon, who is currently trying to keep Hyunjin off his tail.

No one but Sunghoon ever had a chance to win.

The race ends before you can truly even register this fact, and everyone parks at the base of Namsan Mountain to congratulate the winner, who seems insanely put-off by all the attention.

“Jay,” you say, approaching the Huracan driver quietly, your shoes crunching the gravel beneath you.

He looks up from his phone at you, jawline illuminated by the screen. The way he slightly tilts his phone away from you signals that he’s texting Aeri. You laugh inwardly; he doesn’t know that you know about them secretly hooking up. “Mm?”

“What was Sunghoon’s time?” you ask. Your bottom lip is tucked under your teeth, and you don’t even realize how hard you’re biting down.

“Eight minutes, twenty three seconds.”

You gulp. Like actually, visibly gulp, as if you’re swallowing a hard-boiled egg whole like some cartoon character. “Oh. That’s—”

“Almost a whole minute faster than your record. He told me he took a detour somewhere at the halfway point.”

“He’s good,” you admit. “Just like—”

Jay interrupts you again, pocketing his phone. “Don’t say his name, sweets. They’re nothing alike.”

You turn to him, eyes searching for answers. He simply puts a hand on your shoulder before pulling you into the hug he knows you need right now. “It’s been two years,” you mutter into the fibers of his cashmere sweater, hoping that the knit is dense enough that it drowns out the sound of your voice. “Why do I still bring him up?”

“He was a big part of your life. And ours, too. It’s okay. You’re going to have to accept that none of it was your fault eventually.”

“And stop taking it out on anyone else that comes after him, huh?”

Jay pats you on the back. “Bingo.”

“Wait, no one ever gave me a real answer, but why do Jaeyun and Riki live together? And Jay and Jungwonie?” Sunghoon asks. He’s sitting across from you in the former pair’s living room, letting your younger brother lean against him as the alcohol takes over Jungwon’s weak tolerance.

You raise your glass like it’s an extension of your hand, leaning against the bottom of Jay’s leather couch where you sit beside him. “That was my idea, when I was moving out of my old apartment. I lived there with my ex, until I kicked him out. When my lease was ending, all of us decided to move to a new building—this one—and I figured that each of the two young ones should have a hyung to look after them. But also, I didn’t want anyone living with me.”

The last part leaves everyone silent, and you laugh, adding, “Why do you guys look surprised? I told you that when we were signing our leases.”

Sunghoon looks at Riki to his right, who is trying to make a soju bomb with more soju and less beer, and then across from Riki at Jaeyun, who is egging him on to just drink straight from the soju bottle, and back at Riki, who listens to the Australian intently, like he’s some sort of genius. “Are you sure that was a good idea?”

You wave him off. “Oh, yeah. They’re just off the clock right now. You know, can’t be serious all the time.” Oops, another dig at him.

Your phone chimes with notification after notification, and it’s not just updates from Candy Crush. It’s text messages, and not the good kind from Aeri or Soyeon telling you which racer they’ve gone home with tonight.

Before you can silence your phone, though, Jaeyun, who’s on your other side, picks up your phone, laughing exaggeratedly as he waves your glowing screen in the air. “Guys, look! I told you it was gonna happen!”

“What?” Sunghoon asks, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. You shake your head at him and mouth the words “don’t listen to him”.

But then Jay starts cackling, catching your phone over your head when Jaeyun throws it to him in order to read the messages out loud. You don’t even bother fighting their teasing anymore; in fact, you’re a little excited, because you know your boys are about to go in on whoever’s hitting you up. “Okay, let’s see what we’ve got here! From Wonbin: ‘it was nice seeing you tonight, do you want to hang out this week?’”

“Ewww, gross,” Jaeyun groans with a mouthful of fries. “He was literally trying to sit on the Supra when Y/N pulled up!”

His revelation is met with a chorus of laughs and jeers as your boys mock Wonbin for his transgression, for being so stupid and arrogant to think that you would have just given him a free pass. After all, that car is your baby. You suffered a lot for it, and not just anyone could come up and touch it. In fact, one time, Jungwon was banned from riding in your car for a month because he got his fingerprints on your side mirrors.

“Did San-hyung text noona?” Riki’s nosy ass asks, running up behind the couch and diving onto it to look over Jay’s shoulder. Jay pushes his head away. “Oh, shit, he did!”

Jungwon sighs, slumping further even against Sunghoon. “God, just read it and put me out of my misery. He’s so down bad for her, it’s disgusting.”

Jaeyun giggles, and kicks his sock-covered feet like a schoolgirl. “He’s probably gonna ask her on another date and make her bike along the Han River again.”

This makes you choke on your drink, and it almost comes out of your nose. “Hey, I thought we we agreed not to bring that up.”

“It’s not every day I open my Instagram and see your stupid ass fighting for your life getting hard-launched on his story,” he snorts. “Watching you trying to ride that bike gave me second-hand embarrassment.”

“Yeah, it’s like he didn’t even care that you looked stupid, he was really trying to let everyone know that he was out with you,” Jay adds. “Way to keep it lowkey, or whatever.” Your face burns hot with embarrassment as you realize that Yunie has taken out his own phone to pull up the screen recording of San’s Instagram story to show Sunghoon. Now you actually want to smack the phone out of his hand, but you figure it’s fine, you don’t care if he sees you like that. It shouldn’t matter, he’s just one of the guys now. He could join in the teasing for all you care.

Right?

“Yo, hold the fuck up, Y/N, I thought you and Hyunjin were done?” Jay says, scrolling through your notifications.

Your eyes flick up to Sunghoon, who is currently trying to busy himself with separating the perilla leaves—that no one has so much as breathed in the direction of tonight—as he seems to not pay attention to the video, or to what Jay is saying. Either that, or he really doesn’t find it funny. “Put it away, Yunie,” he says quietly, one hand gently pushing back Jaeyun’s phone towards him. “That’s too much. You’re embarrassing her.”

“I thought so, too,” you sigh at Jay, trying not to acknowledge the fact that Sunghoon may or may not have just stood up for you against your best friend. “He ignored my texts for, like, four days, and you guys know how much I absolutely hate that. I know I lag, too, but never that long. At least I’d tell you that I’m busy or whatever. Fuck’s sake.”

“What did Hyunjin hyung say?” Jungwon mumbles. He’s now using Sunghoon’s lap as a pillow, and the sight makes you feel a little soft. You love your younger brother to bits and pieces, and seeing him like this reminds you of the times he’d come home really tired from school and fall asleep at your dining table while you prepared dinner for the two of you. You often yearn for that period in your life, when things were much simpler and the only thing you were sad about was missing your family.

Now you have a new family, but another part of your heart is broken, and time hasn’t healed it—at least, not completely.

“He’s asking if she’s busy this week,” Riki answers. Part of you wants to drag him by the hair and put him on a one-way flight back to Japan. “Oh, Jay hyung is checking her calendar. Yikes, hyung… You’re still pushing that agenda?”

“What agenda?” Sunghoon pipes up after gulping down the last of his beer, his lips glossy from the liquor.

“Oh, he just thinks they’d be cute together,” the freakishly tall boy rambles, making a gesture out of Jay’s line of sight that signals to Sunghoon that Jay is crazy. The alcohol has made you basically nonverbal at this point, and you just let Riki explain your lore to the hot new member of your racing crew. Hopefully Sunghoon doesn’t remember any of it in the morning.“It’s kind of about time that noona gets a new boyfriend. Personally, though, me and Yunie-hyung are on Team San.”

“Isn’t that up to her though?” Sunghoon muses. “Like, why does it matter if she’s single or dating around?”

“Because she’s not that type of person who actually can do anything casual,” Jaeyun interjects, putting a hand over Riki’s mouth, only to pull away in disgust when Riki licks his palm. He wipes the drool off on Jay’s arm. “She just does it because she doesn’t want to get too close to anyone who isn’t us. So it’s a vicious cycle. She says she’s healing, but she can’t fully heal the part of her that was wounded because she needs to be in a relationship with someone who will be patient with her and prove her wrong. Someone who will help her finally get over… him.”

“I figured, from what you told me before,” Sunghoon says quietly to your supposed best friend. He’s not really being much of a best friend now, you think, even though everything he’s said is both correct and true.

This piques your interest. Your index finger circles around the rim of the open bottle of soju that you’d confiscated from Riki. “What do you know?”

“Ey, Hoon, watch what you say, I don’t want her throwing her drink at me!”

You roll your eyes and look back at Sunghoon. “Don’t listen to him. Tell me what Jaeyunie told you, and I’ll decide if I throw it at him or not.”

“Well—”

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” Jay says, setting down his now-empty glass of beer with a smug, victorious grin. “Well, actually, I’m not, but I texted Hyunjin back and said you’d meet him at that new fancy Italian restaurant in Gangnam on Wednesday at 7. And before you say anything, yes, you’re free that day. I checked your calendar and your emails.”

You flaked on your date with Hyunjin. To teach him a lesson, of course.

But you do start seeing more and more of Park Sunghoon as the weeks pass, what with him being a full-fledged, initiated member of Enigma now. And you hate to admit it, but he’s starting to grow on you, even though you still think he’s kind of stoic—mostly towards you. You can tell he’s softening a bit, though.

Because, truth be told, you’ve also observed him to be honest and kind and genuine, the latter the rarest thing you see amongst the racers involved in your second life who throw themselves at you like moths to a flame. He’s sincere, but he also doesn’t mince his words, so you have no choice but to take them at face value. You like watching him get along with the other boys in your life, the only ones you truly love, the ones who have done nothing but love you like a family could and couldn’t.

Riki, for one, loves to pester Sunghoon when he’s around and makes you sit and keep score for them while they play table tennis in the game room of your apartment complex. They’re both extremely competitive, and you think to yourself that Sunghoon is such a good sport even when Riki’s elaborate, well-choreographed victory dance gets too annoying even for you to tolerate. You’re pretty sure he adds a new move every single time he does it.

They go to the gym on days where Riki’s done with class early enough to beat rush-hour, and they bring you along for dinner afterwards if you feel like coming. Riki’s now got a debt to pay to you, on account of you wrapping his GT-R in a metallic oil-slick color. You and Sunghoon chose it together, because no one else was replying to you in the group chat. Sunghoon even helped you install it, if helping you meant feeding you dumplings from a takeout container because your hands were full with the heat gun in one and a felt-edge squeegee in the other. 

For an entire weekend, he sat in your garage with you quietly, making idle conversation when the white noise would get too much for even him. He asked you about yourself, and you told him about how you met Jake in third grade, when his family moved to your hometown all the way from Australia, and how you became friends with him only because you were the only one in your class who knew how to speak decent English. (You watched a lot of American TV shows on illegal streaming sites.) In turn, you asked him if he likes his job as an investment banker, and he tells you that he wanted to be an automotive engineer when he was younger, but every man in his family works in finance and expected him to do the same.

This admission prompts you to share that you were supposed to step up and run your family’s successful chain of restaurants, but you refused to do so, choosing instead to run away with your boyfriend at the time and follow him to Seoul for the two of you to go to college. Jungwon even came with you, and you let him. Sunghoon asks you if you regret it. You say no, because, really, you don’t. But you do still have trouble sometimes trying to understand why some of the people you loved the most in this life—your mother, your father, and later on, your boyfriend—did not care if you were happy. 

They only really cared that you did as you were told.

And Jay, much to your amusement, happens to be at the butt of most of Sunghoon’s teasing—whenever he’s in his extroverted mood, that is. They bicker much like Tom and Jerry, but you can tell that they get along just fine deep down. After all, Sunghoon’s been helping Jay decorate his and Jungwon’s apartment, listening (more like tolerating, if anyone were to ask you) to Jay ramble on and on about Herman Miller chairs and Noguchi lamps, and no one else can be in the same room as him when he gets like that, and that’s saying something because your apartment is also decorated in the mid-century modern style. 

Jungwon sometimes tags along with them to furniture showrooms, strictly on the condition that they treat him to a meal afterwards. Sunghoon, not so surprisingly, is always the one who invites you along with them as well, ever since that first night when you complained about the boys getting milk tea without you. You wonder if it’s a pity invite, but you don’t really care much if it is, because he doesn’t seem like the type who does things he doesn’t want to do.

There was this one time two weeks ago that you came along with them to go pick out a new rug—first mistake. Your second mistake was forgetting to eat before leaving your apartment. You sat on a chair clutching your stomach with one hand, scrolling through your phone looking at the drink menus of nearby cafes with the other. Little did you know that Sunghoon, who was standing right beside you, was nosily peeking over your shoulder while also on his phone, typing in the names of whatever menu item you would pause on.

He disappeared for a few minutes after telling you he forgot something in his car. This left you to decompose in your (very cushy) chair while you listened to Jay and Jungwon argue about low-pile versus high-pile rugs. You contemplated how long it would take for them to notice that you’d passed out from hypoglycemia. But then Sunghoon returned, holding a bag from the food delivery app you all like to use. He’d nonchalantly and wordlessly taken out a peach iced tea and a sandwich to hand to you, but you looked up at him like he was God coming down to earth to save you. You thanked him profusely and he actually smiled at you, eyes crinkling up at the corners and turning into pretty crescent moon shapes. 

If you didn’t already know that Jaeyun loves women, you’d think that he has a crush on Sunghoon. You seem to have lost your pet best friend to his new pet rich boy. Jaeyun loves to spend time with Sunghoon, even though he’s not at all very talkative. Regardless, every single time you come over to Yun’s apartment, Sunghoon is either already there or five or ten minutes away, depending on the day of the week and the time at which your best friend invites you over to his and Riki’s apartment. 

Then the three of you, with the occasional addition of any or all of the three other Enigma boys, will inevitably order some takeout delivery and watch a film—”Not a movie,” you insist—until you inevitably start crying at the plot and say you have to go home before the boys really start making fun of you. Sunghoon always walks you to your door, even though you live just down the hall. You always tell him he doesn’t have to, but he always brushes you off and tells you to get your things so you can leave. 

And one time, about a week ago, you heard him scold the other guys for being mean to you, reminding them that even though you’re technically one of the boys, you’re still a girl at heart, and they should make some effort to be nicer to you. You heard him really dig in to Jungwon in particular, and while you kind of felt the urge to come back into the room and defend him, Sunghoon told your brother to show some respect and think about all the things you’d done for him in the past seven years. So you stayed back, still in shock that Sunghoon had spoken up for you so vehemently.

Speaking of your younger brother, your precious baby all grown up, the only family you have left: Jungwon adores Sunghoon, viewing him as the older brother you wished you could have been for him. Yes, Jay and Jaeyun are literally right there, but you can tell that the connection between Jungwon and Sunghoon is different. Jaeyun is good for keeping both Jungwon and Riki out of your hair when you’re busy, and Jay indulges your brother, spoiling him every chance he can get, having no siblings of his own. 

Somehow Sunghoon has gotten through to your brother in terms of his life and his career; after all, he’s close to finishing college soon and doesn’t know what he wants to do just yet. You would kill for a chance to help Jungwon, but you reckon he hasn’t come to you because he doesn't want to add to your stress and you could cry at how considerate he can be when he isn’t teasing you. You promise yourself that one of these days you’ll thank Sunghoon for his help, maybe some time after you finally admit to yourself that you were wrong about him being a prick. And maybe you’ll apologize for making assumptions about him in the first place.

Yes, you’ve been observing the way Sunghoon gets along with everyone, and you’re happy, you really are, but something is gnawing at you. While the arrival of new racers in your scene is nothing new, Enigma itself hasn’t been disrupted since Jungwon met Riki and all of that other shit went down. 

More importantly, you haven't been disrupted for so long. Two years, to be exact. It’s been two years since you got your heart broken twice, and you’ve spent so long holding everyone at arm’s length away from you because you’re not too keen on ever experiencing that again. Sure, you date around, but like Jaeyun said, they don’t mean anything to you. You know what they want and it’s what you refuse to give them. And then this guy, this fucking guy with pretty brown eyes who is soft-spoken and quiet and has the most beautiful face you’ve ever seen in real life… this fucking guy comes in with the audacity to make you feel like he simultaneously likes you and wants nothing to do with you.

Although you think the latter is just a defense mechanism on your part. You’d tried to convince yourself that he only cares about you so that the boys don’t kick him out of Enigma, because if the two of you didn’t get along, there would be no way he could stay on the team. After all, you’re still their best racer, and more importantly, their best friend. But that can’t be all true, because you fight with the boys sometimes, sometimes real petty fights that end in everyone crying, and you’re still an Enigma member through and through. So telling yourself that Sunghoon secretly hates you because of your ways is a lie on your part.

Because right now, about three months after you’ve first met, when you’re at the club with the boys, there’s no way Sunghoon truly doesn’t like you. The rational part of your brain can recognize that; after all, you’ve watched him countless times coldly brush off the advances of random girls in public who see his credit card and try to take advantage of his generosity. 

And you saw with your own two eyes the way he looked at you when you’d asked him if what you were wearing (a white mesh mini dress with baby pink kitten heels) was actually “too much,” and if you should go change like the others had said. You heard with your own two ears when he told you, “It is a bit much, but you look good. If there’s any trouble, don’t worry, I got you.”

It’s a good thing your face was already pink from the makeup you’d dolled yourself up with.

You never have to pay for drinks when you go out. The boys know this. You always tell them to not waste their hard-earned money—or in Jungwon’s case, your hard-earned money—on you when you can get some rich loser to buy you a bottle of Clase Azul if you bat your eyelashes at them and say you want to ring the bell.

Tonight is different, though. Usually you can score some of the top shelf shit without so much as lifting a finger, but because Sunghoon went with you to the bar, you can sense that the men in the club are not willing to put your dirty Shirley Temple on their tab. He doesn’t even have his hand around your waist, but you assume it’s the malevolent energy radiating off him in waves of expensive cologne that have people socially distancing from you like you’ve got the plague.

“Something wrong, Hoon?” you ask him innocently, swapping cocktails with him as you’ve often found yourself doing whenever the two of you are out together. It’s been a running occurrence since you’ve started joining him and the boys on their hangouts. He’ll order whatever you want to try, be it pasta or a coffee, and you can order something else you like. You sip on his Jack and Coke before making a face and taking your tequila sunrise from him.

“Do you want to wear my jacket?” he says, leaning in close so that you can hear him over the thrum of the bass-boosted music. “These creeps are staring at you too hard. It’s freaking me out. Pissing me off, really.”

You shrug. The buzz is starting to really hit you, thanks to your pregaming session at Jaeyun’s before you left for the club. “Doesn’t bother me, I’m used to it. It’s not like any of them have a chance.” You reach over and brush off invisible lint off Sunghoon’s shoulder, lingering a little longer just to feel the hard muscles underneath his clothes. “You do, though.”

He looks at you with his lips pursed in a flat line, a look he often gives Jay when Jay won’t stop pestering him. Then he takes his jacket off and drapes it over you. “Just put this on. I’ll be right back, I have to take a call.” He shows you the glowing screen of his phone, and you can read the contact name. It’s one of his bosses, and you only know this from the time he invited you to have dinner with them (and they’d pestered Sunghoon into bringing a date, since all of them are married).

You nod in understanding and nestle yourself snugly in his leather jacket, the same black-blue-white combination that he’d worn the night you first met. Idly, you sip on your drink, watching the crowd of swaying bodies underneath the colored strobe lights. In the distance, you can spot Jaeyun’s freshly bleached head of wavy hair next to Jay and Wonie, and that’s only thanks to Riki’s freakishly tall frame standing out like a cell phone tower beside them. They’re dancing with a group of girls, and you try not to gag when you see your younger brother let a girl grind up against him.

“Hey, why don’t you take this off? It’s hot enough in here because of you,” someone yells out right beside you, trying to make himself heard over the music. You turn to him, already pissed off because who the fuck says that?

“No thanks,” you say flatly. “I’m good.”

Even if you are feeling a bit hot inside the packed club, there’s something in you that wants to respect Sunghoon’s wishes while he’s gone, because you know behind his cold exterior he means well and it’s his own roundabout way of looking out for you. Either that, or he’s possessive, your delusional brain thinks, catching a whiff of his cologne in the lining of it.

“Well—”

You’re not paying attention to the douchebag beside you. You look back to the crowd and your boys have disappeared, no giant, Oreo-haired Riki to mark where they are. Suddenly, your tequila sunrise threatens to show itself in your throat. You’ve been hit on before, of course, but not like this, not this insistently. You keep your poker face on, trying to figure out how to get away from him but also avoid getting sucked in and trampled on in the giant crowd that just seems to keep doubling in size.

“Is he bothering you, sweetheart?” another voice asks.

You look to your side and he’s there, he’s back, stone-faced and radiating what you would call actual bloodlust. You nod, giving him a look that you hope Sunghoon interprets as get him the fuck away from me.

“You heard her. You’re bothering the lady,” Sunghoon says flatly to the man beside you, in such a manner that leaves no room for argument. “And not just any lady, either. That’s my girl you’re bothering. Get lost.”

You yourself shiver at his tone. You’ve gotten used to seeing the icy but gentle side of him, so this shift startles you, making goosebumps raise on your back in fear and your core clench in need. You decide not to correct Sunghoon, either. The sooner you get out of this bust of a club, the better.

An hour later, you find yourself at one of your favorite restaurants, a little barbecue spot near your apartment building that serves the best marinated galbi you’ve ever had. You’ve taken the boys there countless times, enough for them to make a joke out of it. The place is supposed to be closed right now, on account of it being one-thirty in the morning but when you were in the taxi with Jay and Sunghoon, you overheard the latter on the phone, telling the other person on the line that he’d pay triple to have the place opened for three hours past closing time of midnight.

While Jungwon talks animatedly about the girl in his class who was at the club and how he somehow managed to get her number, Sunghoon serves you before everyone else, putting the strips of grilled meat on your plate. The other boys groan at him, telling him not to indulge you too much or you’ll get used to it and always expect it, just like you’ve done to them. They don’t really mean it, because you know them well enough that they—just like Sunghoon—don’t ever really do things they don’t want to do, but deep down you still hope he doesn’t take their words seriously.

“What’s so bad about that? Ladies first,” is all he replies to them, and you feel warm inside and it’s not just the double shot of peach soju making its way through your body.

“Okay, me next,” Jaeyun says. He’s still got sweat dripping down his forehead from chasing  tequila-drunk Riki and Jungwon down and dragging them both by the collars of their shirts into another taxi. 

Sunghoon looks at him before passing the tongs to him. “Do it yourself.”

“Jackass.”

This makes your smile widen, giggling to yourself uncontrollably. You take delight in messing with Jaeyun, and seeing the always-stone-faced Sunghoon take part in it brings a certain joy to you that’s both unfamiliar and welcomed. You catch his eye and he sends you a wink, so fast you wouldn’t have caught it if you didn’t have the habit of staring at him when you think he isn’t paying attention to you.

“Dickhead,” Sunghoon shoots back, bushy brows furrowed so cutely that you have the tipsy urge to kiss the peachy skin between them.

“Oh, well, at least if I liked a girl, I’d tell her, so I think that makes you the dickhead and not me.” Jaeyun rolls his eyes and takes a piece of meat out of your bowl, popping it into his mouth and seemingly swallowing it whole.

You frown. “What? Sunghoon likes someone? Is it Jimin? It’s Jimin, isn’t it?”

Jungwon and Riki groan. “Great, another idiot.”

Jay points his chopsticks at your younger brothers. “Shut up and eat your food already.”

“Yes, mother,” they say in unison, digging into their bowls of kimchi fried rice. You look down at your own plate, suddenly losing your appetite. You even consider going outside for a smoke break, but that’s how the boys disappeared at the club a while ago, and it’s too late for you to be going outside alone—at least, that’s what you’re very well aware that they’d argue. Your stomach hurts at the thought of Sunghoon liking another girl, and because you’re you, because you’re almost so self-aware to the point that it could put your therapist out of a job, you know it’s because you want him to like you, and only you.

And it’s not even because you want the same control over him that you have over the likes of San and Hyunjin and Wonbin and whoever else claims to be on your sad excuse of a “roster”. It’s because you like him, and it’s to the point that the only other being who knows this for a fact is your pet cat, because only she wouldn’t accidentally tell him the truth. She’s a cat, for fuck’s sake, a cat you unfortunately named after the girl you think Sunghoon might like.

Maybe the boys have noticed. But you doubt it, because if they did, they would have teased you so mercilessly about it that it would be considered bullying that could be punishable under law. It would be so severe that you’d have no choice but to leave the country if they knew.

What they actually do though, that you’ve picked up on in recent weeks, is their new nasty habit of dropping hints about how you should be with a guy who’s cold to everyone but you. Someone who’s both pragmatic yet thoughtful, someone who always tells the truth but can do so in a way that will spare your feelings because he makes an honest effort to not sound so harsh. Someone who can both protect you and yet also be able to get you to stop when you become… “irrational” was how they put it. Someone you’re attracted to, not just physically, but emotionally, as well.

You’re not stupid, no matter how often you think you are. You know they’re talking about Sunghoon. You know Jungwon and Riki will make plans with you and him and then flake at the last minute so that you two are forced to go out together, alone. They’ve done it enough times that you know it’s bullshit that they have a school assignment due at some random time in the evening. You know Jaeyun will loudly ask Sunghoon what he thinks of a certain girl when he knows you’re within earshot. It pleases you every time Sunghoon flatly replies “What about her? I don’t know her like that.” 

And you most definitely know Jay let Sunghoon take you on out to the racetrack to drive his Lamborghini for a few laps, under the guise that you’ve always wanted to go and Jay finally managed to get a slot booked on a day that he “isn’t able to make it” because of a “meeting”. Who the fuck even works on a Sunday? 

You fixate on this memory for a while. You can truthfully say it was one of the happiest days of your life.

“You’re telling me you’ve never used paddle shifters before?” Sunghoon asked with a lopsided grin, pulling into the paddock of the race track. Your leg bounces in your seat, not out of anxiety like usual, but out of impatience and excitement.

“I drive stick, why the hell would I use paddle shifters? Sorry not all of us drive M Comps,” you retort, rolling your eyes. “V8 bi-turbo headass. Can’t believe you run an automatic transmission.”

“I’m ignoring that. I’ll track it first.”

“What? No way, I’ve known Jay longer!”

“You’re going to drive it like it’s a city bus. I’m going to drive it like I stole it. You can sit there and look pretty first, then you can have a turn.”

“Sunghoon, if you’re just going to stare at me, you’re going to crash us into a wall.”

“Nah, my peripheral vision’s pretty good. Why, you don’t trust me?”

You sighed. You do trust him, that’s what bothers you.

Ultimately, the idea of Sunghoon liking another girl makes you a little… irritated. That’s actually a gross understatement, if you’re being honest. You can feel the dragon’s head of your jealous streak rise up from the ashes where it had once laid dormant, asleep. It wants to breathe fire. It wants to get a rise out of him. It wants to see his reaction.

Luckily, or unluckily, depending on whose side you’re on, your best friend knows you too well.

“Y/N, can you pass the salt?” Jaeyun, who is sitting to your left, asks. The salt pot is right next to Riki, who is sitting to your right.

Taking this as your opportunity, you look at him, tilting your head before you say the exact line that, by now, everyone knows that Sunghoon likes to use. “Say please.”

Jaeyun is too intoxicated to fight back, but he knows you well enough even in his inebriated state that he knows exactly what you’re doing. “Please?”

“Okay,” you answer, reaching across Riki’s plate to grab the salt. When you hand it to Jaeyun, his fingers linger on yours way too long to be respectable. There’s nothing there, of course. It just feels normal, no spark, no giddy, lovesick warmth. He’s just being outright obvious.

Picking up on your scheme, Jay chimes in, a malicious glint in his eye that only comes out after you can smell the alcohol on his breath. You see him elbow Jungwon at the end of the table—quite subtly, to his credit. “Ew, what are you two doing? That’s gross, get a room.”

Jaeyun rolls his eyes, giving Jay the middle finger. Oh, he’s playing up the dramatics of your ploy to see if Sunghoon cares or not. This is what being friends with him for pretty much your entire life is all about. “Can’t a guy and a girl be best friends? Chill, bro.”

“Guys and girls can’t just be best friends,” Jungwon adds, his mouth full of rice and barbecue. “That’s such a lie. You don’t see me with a girl best friend, because if I had one, I’d be fu—”

Sunghoon’s knee hits the bottom of the table, causing everyone to jump back in surprise. “Sorry, guys.” He looks at you, staring at him wide-eyed. “And lady. Leg cramp.” He gets up from the table and excuses himself to go pay the bill, talking with the older woman who runs the restaurant and who you know is madly in love with him (much to everyone’s amusement).

“Alright, what’s going on here?” Jay asks in a hushed tone, dropping his smirk and leaning forward. “What are we doing to him?”

“Forcing Sunghoon to confess,” Jaeyun answers back, switching to English so only the three of you can understand. 

You look at him quizzically, but you speak to him and Jay in English anyways. “Wait, what? I just wanted to make him jealous, what are you talking about—”

“Alright!” Sunghoon says loudly from behind you. “Time to go.”

Exchanging looks with your best friends, you collect your things from where they rest on the worn leather seats of the booth. “I’m gonna take a walk first,” you say. “Anyone wanna join?”

“Nah,” Jaeyun answers. “I’m beat. Gonna take the little ones home.”

“Whoooo the fuck are y-you… callin’ little,” Riki slurs, slumped over a sleepy Jungwon’s shoulder. You know your brother is in a food-and-alcohol-induced coma, since he says nothing about the drool Riki’s getting all over his unbuttoned shirt. “Fuckin’ Oompa Loompa.”

“Riks,” you sigh, getting up on your tip-toes to push his sweat-soaked hair from his face. “Be nice to your Yunie hyung.”

“S-sorry noona,” he hiccups, putting more of his weight on Jungwon, who yelps. “I’ll be nice.”

You shoot Jaeyun a warning look, telling him not to egg on the poor boy who looks like he might throw up in his sleep later. “You guys gonna be okay going home?”

“Yeah, bro, it’s only like a block away,” Jay interjects, prying Riki off of Jungwon and hoisting him onto his own back. Jaeyun takes your brother in his hold, grimacing at the skin-to-skin contact of Jungwon’s bare chest on his fingers. “Go take your little walk. Text us when you’re back.”

“Yes, mother, I promise.” You can feel Sunghoon looming over you like a skyscraper. Without turning to him, you ask, “Are you coming with me?”

“Well,” he answers, his huffed breath blowing over your head in cigarette smoke. “Obviously. I’m not letting you go alone.”

“Okay, I guess,” you mutter with the same tone, shivering to yourself. The air is surprisingly cold for the beginning of June, and you’re dejectedly starting to regret your outfit.

And of course, like clockwork, Park Sunghoon notices your discomfort and quietly puts his jacket over you for the second time that night.

“Thank you.” Your voice comes out in a whisper. He acknowledges you with a soft hum, matching your stride as you cross the empty road to the little park nestled behind the flowering trees.

You continue to walk, trying to think, but it’s difficult to burn off the rest of the alcohol and gain some clarity when the man you’re thinking about is right beside you. You would kill to read his mind. You could just ask him, straight up. It shouldn’t be too hard, right? What’s the worst thing he could say? That he doesn’t have feelings for you? That he sees you as a sister? That he actually does like Jimin like that?

Fuck.

You finally admit to yourself that you do like him. You do like him, you do want him, you do feel those things genuinely and not out of greed, not out of wanting to make him one of your trained dogs, not out of wanting to punish your ex through him. 

You… you fucking like him, and it pisses you off. Him, of all people. Liking Jaeyun seems less complicated than this. You know for a fact that Sunghoon is quite possibly the king of hard-to-get. Kazuha and Yunjin, the race girls from AZ, both made a move on him and ended up fighting over him for nothing (which your own girlfriends clowned on them mercilessly for, while you sat back and watched rather smugly). He didn’t even give them the time of day, let alone his phone number. 

Minjeong, your beloved work wife, wanted to test that theory and when you’d left them during dinner one time to go use the restroom, she tried to flirt with him. She ended up meeting you in the restroom with a smirk, telling you that he’s impossible to break. She’d even asked you if you considered the fact that maybe he likes men.

Intrigued, you’d “innocently” asked Jaeyun and Riki, of all people, to get you the answer. Eager to please, and glad that they had some new bullshit to do, they came back to you after three hours of pestering Sunghoon at the gym during their workout. They’d reported that they annoyed him so bad he left them at the gym, forcing them to take the train back home.

That night, he texted the group chat “Not gay. Waiting for my wife” and nothing else.

A big shock to the rest of you, to say the least. The boys were busy laughing at the first sentence, while you were fixated on the latter half of his text. His wife. What a strong choice of words, you’d thought. But it was a good thing, too, that he knows what he wants. At least one of you does. A wife. That’s more definite than just wishing to feel safe and secure around other people.

“Did you eat well?” Sunghoon pipes up, finally breaking the chilly silence between the two of you.

“I did,” you reply curtly, now doing your best to match his pace. It’s hard. His legs are so long, with equally long strides, but you push yourself in your heels anyways. “Did you?”

“Yeah. Why do you always flirt back?” Sunghoon asks. He sounds like he’s been holding that in for a while.

“What? Are you talking about Jaeyunie?”

He grimaces. “No. I know that was just him being him. I’m talking about the others. That Wonbin guy. San hyung. Hyunjin hyung. Whoever the fuck. Them.”

You stop walking, and so does he. He turns around to face you as you incredulously ask, “So suddenly? Why? Does it matter?”

Sunghoon rolls his eyes at you. That’s the first time you’ve ever elicited that reaction from him, and it hurts a little. “Yeah, it does. You’re making them think they have a chance with you.”

“Okay, so what?” you say harshly. Really, why does it matter to him? He likes Jimin, doesn’t he? Why is what you do any of his business?

“Well, do they?”

“No!” you snap, hands on your hips. The sound of your voice, echoing through the deserted metal playground, startles the both of you. “None of it is ever serious with them! Men are dogs, anyways!”

“Meow.”

You look at the tall man in disbelief. Under the glow of the lampposts, he looks both sinful and heavenly. Even if he’s pissing you off like never before. Blinking—too shocked to laugh—you ask, “Did you just meow at me, Park Sunghoon?”

“Yeah. Because I’m not a dog, and I’ll prove it to you,” he answers, thick arms crossed over his broad, sturdy chest.

“Why bother doing that? Why does my opinion of you matter to you? It’s none of your business what I think. So why?”

He scoffs. But he can’t seem to meet your eyes. “You’re a smart girl. You’ll figure it out.”

Oh, you’re so annoyed. Why now, of all times, can he not be direct with you? Or is this how he actually is? Has he been pretending to be genuine this whole time? No, that can’t be. People usually can’t keep a facade up for that long without slipping up in between, unless they're sociopaths, serial killers, or both. “No, tell me why. I want to hear it from you. You and your stupid… your stupid… stupid, pretty mouth.”

“Did you just call my mouth pretty?”

“Answer the question, Park Sunghoon!”

He glares at you, but it’s not menacing. After what seems like hours, he sighs, turning away. Then he quietly says, “I love the way you love.”

You realize now that the entire time you’ve been watching Sunghoon, he’s been watching you, too.

“What… what do you mean?”

“The way you care about them. The others… The way you look out for them. For Jungwonie and Riki, always making sure they’ve eaten and they rest enough for school, and that they’re on top of their studies. Jay, you always scold him for working too much. And Jaeyunie, you get worried when he’s not home by a certain time… I realize now that you might not have space in your heart for me. And I should accept that no matter what I do, I’ll always just be another one of your dogs.”

“Sunghoon, what—”

He shakes his head, which hangs low in something you think must be shame. His bangs cover his eyes, so you can’t get a read on him unless you brush them out of his face. And with what he’s just said, you don’t think that now is the best time to touch him. “No. We’re not going to talk about this tonight. Or ever again. I can promise you that. Now come on. I’ll walk you home and we can pretend like this never happened.”

Back in your apartment, you lay in bed, wishing that there was still enough alcohol in your system to put your restless mind to sleep. But there isn’t, not after you walked it all off with an awkwardly silent Sunghoon escorting you back to your apartment. You’d offered your couch for him to sleep on—not out of pity, you’d told him. Out of worry. The trains had stopped running and there were no taxis coming to your side of town anytime soon.

He looked like he really wanted to stay. But for whatever reason, he shook his head at you again, told you it was okay, and said he’d walk home.

You’d texted him to keep you updated on where he was. He didn’t reply. You just got a single notification that “Park Sunghoon has started sharing locations with you,” and that was that. No actual message from him. You share yours right back, telling yourself that it’s fine, all the other Enigma boys had your location, too. But you know the truth.

Sitting up, you reach for your phone and your purse, fishing out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, both of which you’d stolen from Jaeyun. He would steal them back from you very soon, anyways, what with him sharing one singular, pitiful peach blueberry ice-flavored vape between himself, Jungwon, and Riki.

Your cat follows you curiously as you walk into the living room and slide the glass door to the balcony open. She curls up in your lap when you sit down on the rocking chair, just as she always does when you come out to smoke.

“You know this is bad for you, right?” you joke quietly, scratching her head with the hand not holding a cigarette. “You should be inside, breathing the purified air I pay good money for.”

Mrrow.

“Yeah, yeah, I know I should stop. But you should be proud of me. I don’t even do it that often.” That’s actually the truth. You and the boys all say that drunk cigarettes don’t count, and you can’t call yourself a smoker if you only go through one pack every two weeks at the very least. By Seoul nightlife standards, your lungs are healthy. “You can hiss about it to your Jaeyunie-oppa.”

Meow.

“Okay, Jiji. Whatever you say.” You take a long drag before pulling away, flicking the ash onto the ceramic tray that Riki brought back for you as a souvenir the last time he went home to Japan. “Fuck, I really do like him. Sunghoon. Not Yunie, ew.”

Mah?

“Because… because… I just do. He’s so… he’s so not like… you know. Heeseung.”

Your cat stiffens on your lap at the mention of your ex’s name. You laugh to yourself, knowing that there’s no one in this world she despises more than him.

“He’s not… he actually cares about me. He doesn’t have to tell me; I don’t even have to ask him if he does. I see it now. And it’s different from how he cares about the boys. I know it’s not just because I’m the only girl. I’ve seen the way he treats other girls. So… he probably doesn’t like Jimin, huh?”

Jiji perks up at the mention of her full government name, but then looks at you as if to say, are you fucking stupid?

“Yeah, I am, haven’t you noticed? I talk to you all the fucking time.”

Aaow.

“No, I don’t just like him because I get preferential treatment. I just—he never does anything to stress me out. I know he considers my feelings, I mean, fuck, he always tells Jaeyunie and Jungwonie to stop making fun of me when we’re hanging out, and, like, he’s always doing shit for me without me having to ask him or even hint at it. He just… he does it because he wants to? And being around him makes me calm. And he’s strong. And he’s kind, and he doesn’t brag about all the nice fucking things he does for everyone, for me… And… and…”

You lose your momentum as your face begins to sting, tears welling up in your eyes. You can hear the pain in Sunghoon’s voice when he said he’d “always just be one of your dogs” echoing in your head. 

“And he doesn’t lie.”

Lying is something you���ve always had a hard time stomaching. As a child, you were taught that it was better to tell the truth and be punished once than to get caught in a lie and get punished twice. You don’t feel good when you lie. Not even when they’re little white lies, like the one you told Hyunjin about Jungwon being sick when you’d flaked on your date with him.

So when you’d found out that Kim Sunoo, Jungwon’s best friend since literal birth, had been helping Heeseung hide his secret relationship with Sunoo’s own cousin, Chaewon—and had been accepting money from Heeseung to help him keep that secret—you lost your fucking mind.

You’d been through everything with your boyfriend. You abandoned your family for him. You moved to a new city with him. You slept on the floor of a shitty apartment for months with him, while Jungwon was stuck in the dorms of his university with three other roommates. You took home leftovers from the restaurant you worked at all throughout college to feed yourself and your brother.

All of that which you endured, just to find out that everything was a lie.

Heeseung didn’t love you as much as he said he did. Because if he did, he would never have gone behind your back with someone else for months and had the nerve to kiss you with the same mouth he used to lie to you.

Sunghoon doesn’t lie, you tell yourself.

He’s not him, he’s not him, he’s not him.

And it’s a good thing. It’s a very good thing.

Sunghoon, for as long as you’ve known him, always keeps his promises. But you also hope that he breaks that last promise he made to you.

You don’t make any appearance at the next race, which is a week later. You purposefully ignore the group chat when they ask you where you are, if you’re coming to watch Riki beat Shotaro and get his revenge for the last time they’d raced against each other.

They get the message—or lack thereof—loud and clear, and leave you alone. You’re grateful that they don’t pry, although Jaeyun texts you separately to scold you about “making Hoonie sad”. You reply to him with the middle finger emoji, even though you know he’s right. For once, at least.

You get texts from Jimin, Soyeon, and Aeri in the racer girls’ group chat, all of them pouting about how you’re not going to see Jimin and Soyeon race against each other in their newly-modified cars. You apologize and wire Aeri a million Won, telling her to place a bet on your behalf for Riki to win in his race. You stop replying when Jimin and Soyeon get on your ass for not being able to choose between who between the two of them would win.

Minjeong had said something to you at work a couple days ago that made your stomach not be able to stop hurting since. Because she’s the most neutral-territory friend you have, you told her exactly what happened between you and Sunghoon, not sparing any detail—not even the thing he’d said to you that made you feel like a monster.

“You can’t build a new house with the bricks from the last one and expect it to be different.”

She’d said it so casually, like she’d read it off the subject line off the first email in her inbox, but it struck you so hard, hammering in what Jay told you the first night you met Sunghoon. To stop taking out your pain on every man that tried to come your way after Heeseung.

In your defense, again, it wasn’t like they were truly serious about you, anyways. Except Sunghoon, who refused to play your games and refused to flirt back with you whenever you’d try to make a pass at him.

It was your automatic distrust of him that brought you here, sulking at home, feeling helpless beyond your control. What made it worse was that Sunghoon definitely knew why you are the way you are, what with Jaeyun’s big fat ginormous mouth being unable to stop itself from spilling all the gory details of your past to him before you two had even met.

There’s a knock at your door. You find that odd; everyone should be out on the road right about now. You check your friends’ locations on your phone to see who could possibly be in your building right now.

You see Sunghoon’s contact photo right above the glowing blue dot that signifies where you are.

“Fuck,” you mutter.

“Y/N?” he calls out, muffled by the thick wood of your front door. You turn to Jji, who is looking at you curiously.

“Go, bedroom.”

Obediently, your cat runs to your room, and you can tell she uses her back legs to kick it shut behind her by the way it closes softly. It’s a trick that Jungwon and Riki spent an entire week of their summer vacation last year teaching her to do, and this is the first time it’s ever been useful.

You check yourself in the mirror in the entryway to make sure you look at least somewhat presentable. You’re wearing Aeri’s light pink sweatpants and a massive white t-shirt you’re pretty sure Riki left in your car once and completely forgot about. You shrug. It’ll have to do.

You open the door. Your voice comes out harsher than you intend it to. “What are you doing here, Sunghoon?”

The man flinches almost imperceptably, but the glimpse of it still has your heart twisting in your chest. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry I hurt you. It’s not a question of if I hurt you or not with what I said, because I know I did.”

You purse your lips, trying to process the fact that he’s apologizing to you without you having to prompt him for it. “Oh…”

He continues shakily. “I realized that I didn’t tell you the truth. The full truth. I like you, I really do. Like, not just as a friend, you know. I like you like… that. Fuck, sorry, I’ve never had to do this before.”

You smile at him softly, looking up at him. The light in the hallway illuminates the crown of his head like a halo, making him look more ethereal than he usually is. “Never?”

“Yeah, never. It’s usually the other way around, but I caved this time.” He sighs. “You’re a special girl. You don’t know what you’ve done to me.”

You shrug. “Oh, I think I have some idea.”

“Meaning?”

“I thawed you out, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you really did. So—”

“Just come in,” you say, stepping aside to make room for him. “Sorry, I don’t have anything to offer you besides water or strawberry milk, but we can go raid Jay’s fridge. I have a key.”

He laughs. “That’s okay. I can order takeout for us.��

“What’s behind your back?”

He holds up a bundle wrapped in clean white paper. “I brought these for you. They’re not, um… they’re not really ‘I’m sorry’ flowers so much as they are ‘will you go out on a date with me?’ flowers.”

“Roses,” you muse, taking the bouquet from him. The arrangement is simple yet stunning, with various shades of muted pink that you realize are quite similar to the color of your Supra. “How original.” You pause, your voice softening. “But thank you, though, really. They’re beautiful.”

Sunghoon chuckles. “I wanted to get you lilies, but I learned that they’re toxic to cats.”

You stare at him for a moment, dumbfounded. He’s so considerate, he even thought of that. Is there anything that he doesn’t think about? Is this what he does when he zones out? “Who told you that I have a cat?”

“You mentioned it a few times,” he answers softly, like he’s reminding you to breathe. “Like that one time Riki made us take him to the arcade and spent too much money trying to win the stuffed… whatever that was from the claw machine.”

“Hm. I did, huh?”

“Yeah... So can I see it?”

“My cat? That’s a little forward, don’t you think? Aren’t we moving too fast?”

“Your pet cat, you brat.” His grin is wide, though, as he looks down at you adoringly. 

“Oh! Oh, yeah, duh.” You take your phone out and swipe through your camera roll until you come across a picture of your white ragdoll cat, her pretty blue eyes staring at you much in the same manner that Sunghoon is right now. “This is her. Her name’s Jimin… erm, yeah, like the one we know… but I call her Jiji.”

“She’s cute… she kinda looks like you, hm? Is she not here right now?” he asks, scanning your living room. “Is she okay?”

“Oh, I sent her to my room before I answered the door—she doesn’t really like guys except for Wonie and Riki but I think it’s because she thinks they’re her servants. And, uh, also, I don't know if you're okay with cats.”

“Ah. I like cats, don’t worry. I’d love to meet her if that’s okay with you.”

“She might scratch you, though. Just a warning.”

“Yeah, that’s okay. You’d bandage me up, though, right?” When he smiles at you reassuringly, your heart thrums. You don't hear any innuendo in his voice, nothing that suggests that he expects something more from you. Turning away to hide your blushing face, you mumble a “yes” and make a beeline to your room to retrieve Jiji.

You get to the door and open it. She’s standing right in front of you, looking at you expectantly, as if she's asking you where Sunghoon is. 

“In the living room,” you answer. You’re talking to your fucking cat. What’s new? Jiji struts right past you, her tail flicking against your ankles, and trots to the living room. 

You follow her from a distance and watch as she pauses in front of Sunghoon, who extends a hand down for her to sniff at. 

“Hello, Jiji,” he says softly. “Nice to meet you.”

The cat chirps at him, and your eyes widen. Usually, she greets males (mostly your ex and his friend) other than your boys with something akin to a hiss that sounds like slicing someone’s tires open. Sometimes she swats at them, claws out and everything. But she hesitates for a second before butting her little head into Sunghoon’s palm, eyes closed and purring up a storm much like the way she does when she wants you to give her a treat. 

“Wow,” you remark. “She likes you. A lot.”

Sunghoon hums in agreement before saying, “Yeah. Wonder what her mommy thinks of me, though. And if she’ll go on a date with me.”

You blush yet again. He’s certainly dialing up the charm tonight. Mustering up the courage to flirt back, you reply, “I think… yeah, her mommy likes you too. And I think she will go out with you.”

“Mm.” He pets Jiji’s head, scratching between her ears which prompts your cat to roll over and expose her soft belly to him for him to rub. Whore, you think to yourself, as if you wouldn’t have done the same thing. “That’s good. I’m glad. Actually—scratch that. I’m relieved.”

By now you’re very well-acquainted to the way he speaks, straight to the point without very much embellishing in his sentences. At least it’s not hard to guess what he’s thinking. He doesn’t talk with the intent to deceive or play games, and, quite frankly, you adore that about him.

“I don’t just want you to care about me. I want you to let me care about you,” he says suddenly, looking up at you with round, sparkling eyes. He’s being forthcoming and earnest. Enthusiasm suits him well, you think. It makes his face look younger, softer, happier. “I want to earn your trust. I want you to feel safe with me.”

“I already do, though,” you reply, voice quiet as if you don’t want to jinx it somehow.

He gives you a nod of acknowledgement. “I know. But I want to be the one you come to for everything. For anything at all.”

“But—”

“You’d never be a burden to me,” he adds. “You couldn’t, even if you tried.”

There’s still enough time for you to go watch the final event of tonight’s race, the showdown between Riki and Shotaro. You hurriedly fix your hair and throw on a jacket, not caring about how your outfit looks because, frankly, you’re not interested in showing off tonight. You know for certain now that the only person whose attention you’ve wanted has been yours all along.

When you arrive, you can see that the Enigma boys are all circled around what you assume is Riki’s GT-R, only because you can see the underglow bouncing off everyone’s shoes. Leave it to your youngest to be annoying as usual.

You get out of Sunghoon’s car and head over to them, him following closely behind you. You pinch Jaeyun’s forearm and he immediately steps to the side to let you through so you can see what’s going on.

The engine hood is up, and you can see someone’s legs sticking out from under the car.

“What’s going on?” you ask no one in particular.

“Well… Riki fucking forgot to change his oil today, and the jack broke halfway, so none of us can fit under there… except Ning,” Jungwon answers.

“Ning?” you repeat.

“Yeah. The girl I’ve been seeing…” he mumbles. “You know, the one from school.”

Your heart drops at the idea that you’ve been so caught up in your own angst that you haven’t bothered to keep up with anyone else’s life, especially your own brother’s. “Oh. I see. She knows cars, huh?”

“Well,” Riki shrugs. “I guess. Jungwonie-hyung gave her the worst instructions on how to change this shitbox’s oil, and she’s doing it just fine, so she must be smart.”

Before Jungwon can even reach Riki, Sunghoon grabs him by the collar of his shirt, holding him back. “Chill out, bro.”

Jungwon glares at the taller man. “Hey, just because my sister thinks you’re hot doesn’t mean—”

“Good lord,” Jay groans. “Can we please have five minutes of peace so I can start this race? I want to go home already. I can feel my bed calling me.”

“Yeah,” Sunghoon snickers. “It’s calling you to wash the damn sheets, you slob.”

You bite your lip to keep yourself from laughing. Shaking your head, you approach Ning, who’s just rolled out from underneath the GT-R.

“Surprised you didn’t go blind in there,” you say, helping her up. “Riki’s lights are no joke.”

She smiles at you, shaking her head. “Actually, it helped, I could barely see anything down there, it was all covered in brake dust.”

This makes everyone burst out into laughter, mocking Riki for poorly maintaining his car. You roll your eyes, taking the wrench from Ning. You turn to Sunghoon.

“Hoon, can you help me with this? I think we’re gonna need more than an oil change to win tonight.”

“Hey!” Riki exclaims. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

“Language, young man,” you snap back at him before looking at Sunghoon. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Headlight air intake?” he asks, a smile forming on his plush lips.

You grin. “Headlight air intake.”

“Oh, you guys are officially fucking crazy,” Jay whistles, admiring your handiwork when you’re done. With Sunghoon’s help, you’d removed one of Riki’s precious LED headlights to allow more airflow into the engine, enabling him to push the car harder without fear of overheating. “Poor Taro isn’t gonna know what hit him.”

“This is legitimately worse than the time Y/N Viper-swapped her Supra,” Jaeyun giggles, clapping his hands together in glee. “Ooh, everyone’s so fucked. They’re lucky she doesn’t drive with a missing headlight, too.”

“Don’t give her any ideas,” Sunghoon jokes. “She can barely see at night as it is.”

“Oh,” you flirt back, “Is that why I think you’re more handsome in the daytime?”

Riki and Jungwon fake gagging noises behind you, but you smile.

“We’re making it out of the hood tonight, boys!” Riki hollers from his position at the finish line. Jungwon is beside him, at the wheel of his 350z. To Jungwon’s other side is Shotaro, looking annoyed. You can see him glare a hole into the back of Riki’s head as he walks behind your brother and his friend.

“Since when was Itaewon considered the hood?” you call back at him. Everyone laughs.

You see Jaeyun whisper something into Jimin’s ear, and she giggles. Meanwhile, Jay, awkward as he can be sometimes, plants a kiss on Aeri’s forehead. “Is it fucking cuffing season or something?” you mutter under your breath, thinking it was low enough that no one hears your annoyance.

“Us next,” Sunghoon responds cooly from behind you, draping an arm over your shoulder. “How’s that sound?”

“Holy shit,” Riki gasps, dramatically putting a hand over his mouth. “Sunghoon-hyung’s—”

“Got some serious rizz,” Jungwon finishes. “And if it weren’t directed towards noona, I’d cheer him on.”

Jay rolls his eyes. “Shut up, Won, you act like you haven’t wanted them together since you first met him.”

Jungwon pouts cutely and shrugs. “Yeah, yeah. It’s more fun to pretend to be an opp, though.”

You glare at your brother. “Wanna see a real opp? I’ll tell Ning that you like to—”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” He turns to Sunghoon. “Hyung, did you know that noona sometimes drools in her sleep?”

“I do.”

“WHAT?” the boys chorus like they’re in a cartoon.

Sunghoon looks at them with pure curiosity. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I know? She fell asleep and drooled all over my arm when we watched Interstellar for the fifth time.”

“Sunghoon!” you squeal. “You’re not supposed to tell them that happened!”

“Wait, fifth?” Jaeyun asks, hands sassily placed on his hips. “We’ve only watched it four times.”

You and Sunghoon exchange a look, your face heating up. “Well, uh…”

“Nevermind that,” Jay interrupts, his arm around Aeri’s waist. “We know you two hang out without us. Jaeyunie’s just fucking with you.”

“Yeah,” Riki agrees. “In fact, we want you guys to hang out without us.”

You look at Ning, rolling your eyes. “See what you’re getting into?”

She gives you a warm smile. “I don’t mind.”

park sunghoon: We’re still on for our date tonight, yes?

you: yeah! what are we doing?? i can pick a spot if you don’t have anything in mind

park sunghoon: None of that from you, princess. Just be ready by 7, I’ll pick you up. Our reservation is at 7:30. I already made sure you’d like the restaurant and you can wear that black dress you bought last week.

… Princess?

you: how…?

park sunghoon: Well, I know what food you like because we’ve gone out to eat so many times. And also, I saw you post the dress on your story when you tried it on in the fitting room, so I figured you got it. 

park sunghoon: Before you get upset thinking I’m controlling what you wear, I’m not. I know you have a hard time choosing your outfits (even though they’re all very nice) and the dress looked lovely on you.

He’s trying to make your life easier. You smile to yourself, face going hot. You bite your knuckles to keep yourself from screaming at your desk.

you: oh… okay!

you: i’ll see you later hoon :)

park sunghoon: Can’t wait. Have a great day at work, beautiful.

God, you want to throw your phone across the office with how giddy you are. You finish work early by skipping your lunch break, and you go home at 2:30 in the afternoon, thanks to Minjeong excitedly whisper-yelling at you that she’ll cover for you and to “Go get some dick, girl!” and smacking your ass as you scurried to the elevator. When you arrive home, you immediately run to your bathroom and turn on the shower. You’ve got music blasting from your speaker while you wash your hair and shave and scrub down your entire body. You’re smiling at yourself in the mirror while you dry your hair and do your skincare routine, and you’ve still got a good four hours to get all dressed up for your first real, official date in years.

taglist: @enha-stars @karinasbaby @venomhee @lilifiedeans @sngleehee @hoonfr @seuomo @en-verse @starfallia @eloelooo @lhspeachie @idkdykilr @seochannnn @moon368 @capri-cuntz @p-d1ddy @xxbluestrifexx @p4ranormaluv @laurradoesloveu

[updownlately]

as long as i’m here (no one can hurt you)

| alessia x reader | hurt/comfort | 3.1k | disclaimer: mentions of anxiety & self loathing -this gets dark so please read at your own discretion! | a/n: based of this req! initially was supposed to be really fluffy but then somehow it just became 2/3 angst soooo welp. honestly it started off really strong imo but idk what happened towards the end, but oh well. not proofread as usual. anyways, take care amigos, happy reading!

~~~ 

Your heart’s in your throat and you don’t know how it got there. 

Your heart’s in your throat and the world around you’s dark.

Your heart’s in your throat and you don’t know where you are.

All you know is you’ve gotta go- you’ve gotta go fast- because if you stay any longer, the voices are going to catch up.

They’re going to catch up and they’re going to tell you- no scratch that- they’re going to remind- they’re going to remind you that aren’t good enough.

They’re going to remind you that there’s better, that there always will be someone smarter, more athletic, more confident, more outgoing, more fun.

They’re going to remind you that none of this is real- convince you that everything is just fake. That you’ve lost your mind enough to devise your own reality, where nothing exists yet everything is perfect. 

They’re going to remind you that you aren’t worthy. That you’ve fluked your way through life- everything gifted to you, everything undeserved. 

It’s the way it always goes. You running and running and running, only stopping either when the voices catch up or when you wake up, and if you were honest, you don’t know which one you prefer.

It’s not that you’d be dead, nor is it that you didn’t want to be alive.

It’s that you don’t know how you could explain to the sleeping girl beside you that even with every second you lay asleep, the voices in your head don’t cease. 

That each time she comforts you as you wake, shirt damp with sweat, shuddering breath escaping your lips, the words get louder in your mind.

And with each circle rubbed into your back, or reassuring word mumbled against your tangled hair, you think about how she could do better, better than you, better than this mess of troubling dreams, this mess of tangled voices, nonexistent but real to you, shouting, screaming, yelling, reminding you, telling you, letting you know.

You aren’t good enough, nor will you ever be. 

She deserves better, better than you.

You’re a fraud, a fake, a phony. 

The words repeat and repeat and repeat. 

~~~

It’s the third time this week, and it’s only Wednesday, that you wake up, heart racing, palms sweating as you try and regulate your uneven breaths.

It’s new to you, this whole nightmare thing.

You’d even go as far as to call yourself a lucky child, able to count on one hand how many nightmares you had when you were younger.

Now? Now though, it’s a miracle if you sleep through the night. 

You don’t know when it started- maybe sometime between the middle of last season and its end- when all you saw attached to your name was negative chatter. 

Flooding comments on social media calling you unreliable, unworthy, unneeded for your team. 

Offhand remarks of how you could’ve played better, could’ve done more, didn’t deserve a starting position, maybe would be better as a late sub, for the sake of the team. 

Maybe it was when you spent countless hours post practices perfecting your free kicks and running shots, only to be told to not take them as much, the dismissing tone in your coach’s voice clear, disapproval clear in their eyes. 

Words said and said and said, their intent to hurt, to prick, to wound successful.

It was those words that rang out in your dreams, among the thousands of other outcries you were used to having directed your way.

You thought you could take it, firmly believed so. 

You were a professional athlete for fuck’s sake, a little bit of verbal battering was nothing you couldn’t handle, right?

At least that’s what you told yourself each time you woke up in cold sweat, mind exhausted, heart tired as you tried to remind yourself those opinions weren’t facts. 

As usual, it led you to now. 

Now being you stiffly lying on your side of the bed, the room bathed in darkness, only the sound of Alessia’s soft snores to be heard.

Swallowing hard, you shuddered as fragments of your latest nightmare floated through your mind.

This one was different from the usual. 

This one might have even been the worst. 

The nightmare had started off as they typically do, the realistic image of the team’s pitch clear in your mind.

It seemed to be a replay of a normal game day. 

Arsenal dressed in their bright red jerseys, your opponents in a shade of blur, all the same but unidentifiable- not like it mattered much anyways- you didn’t need much convincing to feel how real it seemed.

It felt like a normal game day, but you saw yourself in third person, following yourself on the pitch like a drone, able to see each mistake you made so sharply, so distinctly.

You watched in horror as you tripped over your feet. Your heart dropped as you passed the ball directly to the other team. You’re nearly in tears watching as each tackle you made either did nothing or nearly took out the opposing player. 

You looked on in fear as the crowd begged for you to be subbed off. 

Your own home crowd, cheering any time you lost the ball, any time you slipped and fell, any time you erred. 

As much as it hurt each time the dream played out, this was normal to you. 

You were used to this. 

Used to the sinking feeling in your stomach. The flips it would do as you felt your heart break, the realization that maybe you just didn’t matter, the thought that you didn’t need to exist floating through your mind as your throat closed up. 

The sinking feeling as you realized you were unwanted was nothing new. 

The knowledge that you just weren’t good enough was basically a mantra ingrained in your mind.

So even though it hurt as if it was new each time, you were used to it. 

This was normal, no matter how many times it occurred, night in night out, it had become a part of you.

What wasn’t normal though, was how the game faded away slowly for once, a new environment blurring into your vision, the once typical dream changing drastically. 

You tried to shake your head in your mind, very much disoriented at the unfamiliar setting. 

You weren’t at the field anymore. The green grass you were always so used to seeing, the one that haunted you now in real life, gone within seconds. 

Instead, in its place, was a dark atmosphere, bright lights flashing occasionally as you felt vibrations hum through you rhythmically. 

Hearing laughter coming from your left, you whipped your head to the side.

Mere metres away from you stood the rest of your team, all dressed to enjoy a night out, drinks cradled in their hands.

You were at a club.

Chest constricting as you watched the girls peer over at you, then laugh, you felt your face flush, embarrassment seizing your ability to breathe. 

Quickly turning around, you searched for Alessia. 

Alessia usually made the anxiety go away.

Alessia was safe.

Alessia. 

You needed to find her.

Pushing your way through the mass of crowded, faceless bodies crammed in front of you, you tried to look for the blonde. 

The further you went though, the smaller you seemed to get.

With each step you were taking, the room seemed to grow in size, the people around you taller, peering judgmentally at you as you pushed through, the faceless partygoers somehow displaying a clear emotion of distaste at your presence.

You could feel your heart beat faster with each second.

Too many people.

You needed to find Alessia.

Too many people. 

You couldn’t breathe.

Too many people.

Alessia.

Continuing to push through the mass, air getting harder and harder to breathe, you closed your eyes, blindly moving forward.

Squeezing your way past the final few bodies, you felt yourself stumble as you came across a hallway, the door at the end of it bathed in a dim glow.

Maybe she was there?

Unable to stop yourself, your mind pleading for you to do so but frozen, your feet carried you towards the light.

You wanted to find Alessia. 

You needed her right now, and you’d do whatever it took. 

Hands shaking at the uneasy feeling in your stomach, you approached the door, fingers reaching out to rest on the door. 

Surely Alessia had to be here, right? 

You’d soon get your comfort…

Letting out a shaky breath at the thought of finally being okay soon, in the presence of Alessia, you pushed the door open, ready to feel okay, only for your eyes to widen as you felt a lump form in your throat. 

No, surely not. No…no…no…

Frozen in your spot, you stared, white as ghost, at the sight in front of you.

There, in the dark room ahead, was Alessia.

Except she wasn’t alone.

Eyes flitting between the blonde and the faceless body in her arms, you felt your world crash.

There she was, your girlfriend, your Alessia, arms wrapped around another person that wasn’t you. 

Another person that had their body pressed against hers in a way that was most definitely not friendly, not platonic in the least.

In front of you stood the two, hair dishevelled, their eyes as wide as yours, mouths agape as they realized they’d been caught. 

In front of you stood your Alessia, in the arms of another, as you finally felt the ground slip away from beneath you.

~~~

You knew it was just a dream.

You knew she wouldn’t cheat on you.

You knew it.

You believed it.

You felt it, each and every day that she loved you.

Yet, in this moment, darkness bathing you as the silence stretched on, the sinking feeling in your stomach and the way your heart still hadn’t stopped aching since you’d woken up told you otherwise.

Furiously wiping the tears that had fallen from your eyes, you tried to do your best not to sniffle, lest you wake your girlfriend up.

You already had a dream about her cheating- you didn’t want to go and make your night worse by waking her when she so desperately needed her rest. 

Doing your best to take deep breaths, you tried to regulate your shaky breathing.

Slowly inhaling and exhaling, you paid keen attention to how much noise you were making with each gasp. 

You needed to be quiet- had to be quiet. 

She couldn’t see you like this.

No, you wouldn’t let her. 

Taking a chance, you slowly turned your head to the side, eyes tracing the faint outline of the striker’s face as you wiped another round of tears on your hands.

Every single fibre in you wanted so desperately to reach out, to be in her hold, to let her soft murmur comfort you like countless times before. 

But you couldn’t.

You’d get through this night eventually.

Closing your eyes in frustration at the impending headache you knew was coming, you pressed the heel of your palms harshly to your eyes. 

You’d be okay. You’d be okay. You’d be okay.

Repeating the words to yourself, you whined in frustration, unable to find yourself to believe the words.

It was only when your eyes stung due to brute force did you realize what you had just done, freezing as you heard shuffling beside you.

Holding your breath, you felt Alessia’s arm reach out blindly towards you, sleepily patting around, trying to find your body, her even in her sleep ready to take care of you. 

You couldn’t have her wake up for you, not again. Not when it’s been multiple nights of her waking up, holding you till the dawn breaks, treating you ever so carefully, so delicately,

Letting go of the breath you were holding as you heard the movement stop, you closed your eyes as more tears of frustration escaped. 

How many times- how many fucking times were you going to wake up each night?  Why, why for the love of god, could your mind not be normal? 

Flexing your jaw as you tried to force your emotions away, you didn’t see the way Alessia sleepily awoke from beside you.

Mind preoccupied by not waking up the Gunner, you didn’t realize that she had long since been awake, trying to give you the time to collect yourself like she knew you wanted. 

In all honesty, the blonde had been up before you had been.

Recent days had oddly trained her to sleep a bit lighter. The combined with hearing your mumbling during your dreams had easily woken her up. 

She’d let you be though, well aware that you hated that she woke up each time. 

So she laid in silence, doing her best to continue her sleepy state, hoping that the night didn’t get too horrible, that she didn’t have to step in, for your sake. 

She stayed awake though, lethargically alert, ready to jump in if needed. 

Throat tightening up when she heard your sniffles, the furious movement of your hands as you wiped your tears away quietly pulling at her heart strings, the blonde quietly laid there as you dealt with the storm in your mind. 

A stalemate of sorts, an inevitable cycle of hurt. 

Slowly but surely though, your sniffles died down, movement slowing as you calmed, initial stabbing pain at the nightmare slowing until it became a dull ache.

It’s then that Alessia chose to take her chances, knowing you were easier to talk to after you had ridden your wave of emotions. 

“You think you’re hurting me each time you wake me up, but I don’t think you realize how much it pains me to see you like this…”

The words a near whisper into the darkness, Alessia waited a beat before slowly turning to face you, head resting on her arm as she faced you.

Please let me help you. 

The plea went unsaid.

Continuing, the whispered words brought on another round of damp eyes.

“You think you’re protecting me, but if it’s just hurting you more and I care for you, are you really succeeding?”

Let me be there to comfort you. 

Feeling her heart start to pound at your silence, Alessia wondered if you’d fallen asleep. 

Raising her head to try and decipher whether you were awake, she waited as a beat passed, and then another, both without an inch of movement from you. 

Shaking her head at the cruel timing between her speaking and your presumably sleeping state, the blonde opened her mouth to sigh, only to be cut off by your timid voice.

“I hate it enough that I have to go through this…it’s not fair to make you go through it too…”

The shaky admission had the blonde’s breath catching in her throat.

She never once felt forced to be there for you. Never. 

The fact that being a burden to her had you holding back so significantly pained her to hear. 

If the constricting of her heart at your quiet sobs had hurt, then the admission nearly felt like being stabbed. 

You weren’t a burden- not to her. Not now, not ever. She just needed to make sure you knew that. Believed it. 

“You’re not making me go through anything. I want to be there for you. I want to be able to hold you through the good nights and the bad. Especially the bad. You aren’t a burden to me…”

Swallowing lightly at the prolonged silence that followed her words, Alessia continued, shuffling closer to you until she was nearly pressed up against your side, only a sliver of space between the two of you.

“You make it seem like me loving you is a burden. That I can love you only when you’re perfect...when you’ve got it all together and don’t need a shoulder to cry on.

I don’t want that though. I don’t want to love you when you’re pristine. I want to love you when the days are dark and it’s raining so hard that you’re confined inside. I want to love you when it’s four pm and you didn’t sleep the night before and you’re grumpy because your coffee’s too cold. I want to love you when you can’t remember what it’s like to be loved. When it’s nearly three am and you’re having a nightmare and you don’t know who to turn to. That’s when I want to love you- when you need it most.”

A silence blanketed the room at the end of Alessia’s admission, only the quiet hum of the electrical wiring to be heard.

Feeling her cheeks heat up but not finding it in herself to care- to be embarrassed- the blonde took her chances.

Slowly letting her arm come to wrap around your midsection, she pulled you close.

With you still laid on your back, the side of your torso pressed up against the striker’s front, your hands gently intertwined as she found where it rested under the sheets, she continued. 

“Not waking me won’t do either of us good. Yes, you could deal with it on your own, but you don’t have to, okay? I want to be there for you. I want to hold you when things get tough. I want to love you. You just need to let me do that…”

Feeling you nod in response, she moved to place a gentle kiss on your forehead.

Moving to lay on her back as she felt you turn towards her, the Gunner opened her arms in an easy welcome, gathering you in her embrace as you sank into her comfort. 

Whispering a quiet ‘thank you’ at your understanding, she wondered out loud if you wanted to talk about it.

A quiet but firm ‘no’ escaping your lips, she nodded her head in understanding as ran her hand through your hair.

If you didn’t want to talk, so be it- as long as you let her love you, take care of you, hold you, it didn’t matter. 

As long as you felt loved, because you very much were if Alessia had anything to say about it.

Hands coming to wrap strongly around you, you sighing contently at the warmth as you felt the tiredness of the past hour catch up with you, the pair of you drifted off into a dreamless sleep, Alessia’s last tiredly whispered sentence ringing reassuringly, protectively in your mind as the tension in your shoulder eased.

"It's easy to love you on your good days, but I want to love you on your worst. On the days you don't believe in love and don't think you deserve it, it's when I want to love you most. 'Cause I'll love you through all of them, now and forever, if you let me."

'If I could change the way that you see yourself, you wouldn’t wonder why you hear ‘they don’t deserve you'"

[mellonieee]

Mellonie does FOP + A New Wish Analysis: 1

This is what a week of AC and Antifairy brainrot has led to. After this I think I’m going to actually watch through the entire original series from the Oh Yeah! Shorts all the way to Season 10. (Hopefully I wont hate it too much.) And then rewatch ANW again once it hits streaming for the full FOP experience. And also so I could maybe do more of this analysis stuff, its fun.

Plans for later aside, this and any I do in the future, will only use episodes the character actually appears in, and not ones that they are merely mentioned in. Its also important to note that I likely wont use all the episodes the Character appears in.

That old black magic is the introduction to Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, and the Anti-Fairies as a whole. They’re described as “Regular Fairies, but anti.”

This episode establishes a few things:

1.Fairy magic cannot interfere with Anti-fairy magic.

2.On Friday the 13th, Antifairies escape from Fairyworld and cause bad luck. Antifairies are naturally drawn to anything that triggers bad luck to happen.

3.Antifairies can only be seen by humans with anti-fairy goggles.

4.Antifairies are opposites of their fairy counterpart in personality. AW is “incredibly stupid and eats with her feet.” AC is “not an idiot, in any matter once so ever.”

But what’s really interesting about this episode is what Jorgen and Anti-Cosmo have to say about the anti-fairies.

“No one is allowed in Anti-fairy world!”

“You see, we’ve been trapped behind that blasted barrier for centuries.”

Jorgen, you cant just imprison a whole group without expecting any problems. Its no wonder they wanted to escape so badly. Is causing bad luck something, well, bad, enough to warrant the imprisonment of an entire race? The anti-fairies arent good at all, obviously, but they are biologically made to thrive off of bad luck and negative energy. This really muddies the waters when it comes to seeing this as a solely ‘black and white’ situation. Most, but not all, of what AC does is for the antifairies. He’s evil and chaotic by nature, but he’s not evil evil, yknow.

There isnt really anything else noteworthy to say about that old black magic outside of this, but I did notice that AC knew Timmy’s name despite the fact he never met him before that point, somehow. I merely brush it off as a minor goof and just figure AC mustve made a lucky (haha) guess, but if you want a crazy theory to explain it, then maybe anti-fairies share vague recollections or memories with their fairy counterparts. I dont actually think thats true, but theres your food for thought.

The second appearance of the antifairies, The Gland Plan instantly ditches the entire ‘antifairy goggles’ thing, which is honestly for the better, even if I do think it made anti-fairies more unique. They are sadly never getting the invisibilty thing back.

This episode establishes that the faggigly gland is a special organ in a fairies body that allows the fairy to change shape, and that both fairies and anti-fairies have one. Fairy biology in general is really questionable, especially if you factor in the angel forms from A New Wish, but thats a topic for another day.

A few things to note:

1.This is the start of that “Hello, Clarice.” quote that AC and Foop/Irep use. Its a reference to Silence of the Lambs but its a misquote anyway because Lecter never even says hello to Clarice.

2.AC claims that he cant see a thing without his monocle. If he isnt lying about that and isnt using the monocle only as a symbol of prestige, then he has really terrible eyesight and is most likely completely blind in one eye.

3.Despite AC calling his wife a twit, he prefaces it by saying that he loves her very much. Most instances of AC talking to his wife does include him being typically annoyed when she messes with his plans, but outside of that he acts courteous towards her. (“Chin up, my beloved Anti-Wanda! Your savior, Anti-Cosmo, will have you all free presently!”)

4.The more questionable line is when Anti-Cosmo and Cosmo are having the operation and AC claims that if he does live, Cosmo should take his wife. Needless to say, AC words things very poorly at times, but this statement does have them acknowledging that an anti-fairy and a fairy could hypothetically be with one another’s counterpart.

“Cosmo, old friend, since we both carry a piece of each other inside of us, I see no reason for us to do battle. But I warn you, don't look for me.”

AC doesnt hold that much ill-will towards Cosmo like how I figure most would expect him to. He seems to be fed up and annoyed by his counterpart’s foolishness, but he does not despise him.

Right as the episode ends, Timmy brings up the idea that maybe more than the faggigly glands got transplanted. There isnt much evidence to support this outside of the brief voice change Anti-Cosmo and Cosmo had, but I’m starting to think Timmy was right considering how Anti-Cosmo acts in A New Wish.

I dont know if AC and AW retired like Wanda and Cosmo did, but I feel like AC’s very obvious decline in intelligence is a likely theory as to why Irep now seems to be in charge of the anti-fairies as shown in A New Wish.

I frankly can’t see the New Wish Version of AC leading the antifairies compared to how he acted in the old show. Not when he now thinks leaving a cage unattended is a “good idea.” That isnt something AC would say at all if we’re going off of his original characterization. It’s interesting to think of a reason in-universe as to how he went from “not an idiot, in any matter once so ever.” to someone who definitely is not as smart as he use to be.

[kaciidubs]

Lucky Charm

❣ For my sweet love @sweetracha - thank you for indulging me in this AU, I hope you like it! ❣

❣ Summary: Racer! AU - Its the first race of the season, and what's a better way to start it off without a little visit from Jisung's lucky charm? ❣  ❣ Word Count: 1.1k ❣ Warnings: Racecar Driver! Jisung, Racer Crew! OT8, Jisung's a bit cocky but in a lovable way, established relationship, hinted smut, fluff, humor, kissing, Seungmin is a menace to Changbin, Jeongin is a menace to Minho, Jisung is a menace to Reader ❣  ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣  ❣ Additional Tags: Han is referred to as Jisung, Han, and Mr. Flirt, sort of slice of life style but I love it ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist

“Seungmin, stop hiding my tools!”

“I’ll stop hiding them when you stop calling me a dog!”

You watched as Changbin wrangled the younger into a chokehold - putting no power behind it, of course - and continued spewing on about how he’ll continue being a dog if he keeps hiding his stuff. 

“They’re still at it?” 

Breaking you from the ever so entertaining view, you turned your head to see Chris walking over to you, black headset donned around his neck in preparation for the race. 

“Mhm - you know, for the pit leader and star of the crew, they really can’t get past this fake sibling rivalry.” 

“It keeps them entertained and out of my hair, as long as they don’t kill each other then so be it.” 

Nodding in agreement, you snuck a peek at the pair once again; Seungmin now, miraculously, out of the hold and taunting Changbin over something entirely new. 

It was race day, the first race of the season and the starting line for the journey to the silver cup, so it was understandable why they seemed to have more energy than before - honestly, you were surprised they weren’t chasing each other around by this point. 

“Where’s the rest of the gang?” You mused, noting the lack of a few familiar faces amongst the pit crew that filled the assigned stadium garage. 

Chris leaned against the table you were sitting on, crossing his arms over his t-shirt clad chest, “Well, Minho’s doing a pre recorded interview - he brought Jeongin along to ‘show him how it's done’, Hyunjin is out getting some pictures of the stadium, Felix is getting the final lineup of the race, and I’m sure you know where Jisung is.”

Ah, right - the man of the hour and the reason why you’re all gathered today - Han Jisung, the person taking up this season’s race in the SKZ name. This was far from his first race, or course, but it still held importance; this was his shot at a third consecutive win following his overly successful season last year, taking over for Minho as he took on the responsibility of training Jeongin with Chris, and you were here to hopefully witness his first win of the circuit.

Picking aimlessly at the fabric of your skirt, you regarded the eldest with a soft look, “You think he’s nervous?”

“Yeah.” He unfolded his arms, resting his hands on the edge of the table, “But you know how he is, nerves are only fuel to him - keeps telling me how he knows what he’s doing and that he’s bringing back another trophy for the garage.”

You stifled a laugh, shaking your head in amusement - cocky as ever.

The sound of the door squeaking open drew your attention, easily recognizing the faces coming through the door.

“You can ignore me all you want - that interviewer was so into you!” Jeongin beamed, following closely behind a nonplussed Minho.

“Chan, get this child away from me, now.”

“Seriously! How could you not see it?! She was a hundred perfect fucking you with her eyes-”

“Chan!”

“Shit- okay! Innie, you keep testing him and he might actually kill you this time.” Chris launched himself from his position on the table, leaving you to watch as he dragged the youngest driver away from the veteran - but not without attracting the attention of the two lead pit crew members eager for the tea.

In the midst of the action, the door opened once again - Jisung walked through wearing his racing jumpsuit decorated in various sponsorship patches he’d earned throughout the years. He went to jump into the ruckus until he spotted you on the table, laughing at whatever threat Minho famously came up with this time, his heart fluttering and feet leading him straight to your side.

“You must really love me if you’re willing to deal with these guys,” he hummed nonchalantly, not missing the way you jumped at his sudden presence, head whipping toward him in surprise.

Rolling your eyes, a soft smile quickly replaced your shock, “You must really love me if you’re willing to let me deal with these guys.” You watched as he saddled himself in front of you, caging you in against the table with a sideways smirk.

“Of course I love you,” pressing a chaste kiss to your lips, a bright smile blossomed on his lips, “you should’ve told me you were here already, I would’ve gotten ready faster!”

“Today’s an important day, you really think I’m gonna rush you just to see me?” Your fingers danced their way up the fabric of his jumpsuit, tracing along the various seams and straps before finding home on his shoulders.

“I’m always in a rush to see you, why do you think I always finish in first?”

You scoffed out a laugh, eyes glittering with mirth, “Okay, Mr. Flirt, let’s get our heads in the game here.”

“Han! We’ve gotta start getting ready soon!”

A wave of anxious excitement washed over you at Chris’ time call, and you could see the spark of determination flash behind Jisung’s eyes - this was it.

“One last kiss from my lucky charm?” Jisung hummed softly, his hands sliding to cradle the outside of your thighs, fingers fiddling with your skirt.

Nodding curtly, you took his face in your hands, gently turning his head to the right, “Be smart-” you murmured before kissing his cheek and turning his head to the left, “be safe-” planting another kiss, you turned him one final time to face you, “be fast-” pecking his lips, you leveled him with a soft stare, “and come back to me.”

“Always.” He promised, as always, finishing the ritual with a solid kiss to your lips in return, pulling back with a cocky grin, “I’ll make sure to come back for my second checkered flag, too.”

Your eyebrows furrowed for a second before your gaze dropped to where he was currently squeezing your thighs and- of course, in addition to wearing a custom shirt with his racing number and name, you’d opted for a black and white checker patterned skirt to tie the look together.

A new rush of heat ran through you as you mushed his face with your hands, embarrassed giggles escaping you all the while, “Han Jisung get away from me!”

You could feel him kiss the palm of your hand with a triumphant laugh, taking your wrist to move your hand, “You know you love me!”

“Yeah, I love you, now go!”

Successfully shooing him away, you watched as he went to huddle with the rest of his team - now noticing the arrival of Felix amongst the group, and Hyunjin with his camera in hand, snapping pictures of the first huddle of the season.

You knew he’d give it his all, he always did, but a little intentionally unintentional enticement never hurt anyone - you were his lucky charm after all, and if that helped him have another reason to bring back the gold then who were you to stop it?

[yelenabelovasbxtch]

Crush On An Archer PT.1

a/n: Hey! Omg long time no see! I kinda maybe lost interest in writing for a bit there but tbh I think I'm back. No promises because I don't want to promise and then break your hearts but also I realllyyyy enjoyed writing this and I hope you all enjoy reading it! Will def be making a part two in coming days so stay tuned. LMK if you want to be added to the taglist, I am going to put some tags of past taglists below just in case they are interested in reading :) ALSO! Special shout out to @scmg11 because their writing is honestly what made me wanna get back into it. So,,I hope you enjoy!

Kate X Fem!Reader

Concept: Reader has a crush on Kate (school/Uni setting) and she doesn't know how to tell her.

Warning: Cussing, mentions of smut, IM TRYING TO WRITE SLOW BURN BUT BEAR WITH ME ITS NEW!

Word Count: 2.7k

You’re a month into your summer vacation and things couldn’t be more…boring. You love and appreciate your parents dearly for putting out the money so that you could attend a prestigious school in New York with a kick ass archery team but does it ever suck to be this far from all your friends for four months. To make the situation work, your dad had to transfer jobs to another state that pulls in a little more money annually with slightly more affordable housing but that means you aren’t even near the people you grew up around. Rural Mississippi is a fairly big step from living in Boston. Boston at least had people, out here it’s like you’re lucky if you get to meet a neighbour because the land has us all so far apart. In all honesty, although it’s boring, you really have one specific reason for being so bummed out. Towards the end of your last semester, you got started getting closer with one of the girls a year younger on your team, Kate. Typically the older girls competed and practised together and the younger girls did the same. Although you two were only a year apart it’s just how things worked out, so you didn’t cross paths very often. However, one day you were walking home from class, stopped to get coffee and basically bumped into her. The meeting was really brief but it was enough to make you catch feelings almost instantly. 

Your interest in her grew as you followed her on Instagram and she followed back. Obviously you took a peak at her page and scrolled to the bottom laughing at the really cringey posts from 2015 she had still up. All you wanted to do was talk to her again but you didn’t know how, although she was a year younger than you she intimidated you so much. Her deep blue eyes were honestly enough to make you stutter whenever you had the chance to talk to her. A month had gone by already and you could not wait to get back to school so you could see her again. Luckily, coach has yearly “team-building” days before the season starts and they’re about half way through the summer so hopefully you can talk to her before then and maybe convince her to hang out when you come back to school. 

Over the next week or so you liked a few story posts that she’d upload every now and again but the day finally came where you felt like you could swipe up and respond to it…y’know…maybe spark a little conversation. 

“Damn Bishop, is this a new bow?” In response to a story post of her showing off some of her off season training. 

“Haha yeah it is, flips out and everything…it's really freakin’ cool.” She replied almost instantly and that made a giant warm smile come across your face. 

Shit– what do you say back? Your main goal was honestly to keep the convo going so you could subtly mention down the line hanging out with her. 

“Yeah that’s sick, wow I’d kill to try something like that out.”

“Well next time I see you, please by all means give it a shot” She replies back.

“Might just have to take you up on that. How’s your summer going anyways?”

“It’s alright, kind of boring though. All my friends from school move back home and I am working for my mom’s company over the summer so it all is just kind of dull. I miss going out and having fun. Wbu?”

“Yeah, I hear that. I am SO bored here. I would kill to fast forward to the fall, I miss being at school honestly. There’s only so much I can do by myself here during the summer.”

“Ugh right! I want it to be school again too but don’t get me wrong, I love the summer, the weather is great here recently and the nightlife is amazing too. I just have nobody to go with, you know.”

“Yeah I get it. Trust me, if I could be there to go out with you I would, there is definitely no nightlife here haha.”

Shit. That wasn’t too forward was it? She is taking a while to respond to you. She hasn’t even opened the message yet. 

*4 minutes later*

“Well, you’re going to be around for that team-building thing coach has us doing in a couple of weeks right?”

“Yeah, I should be.”

“Well, we can go out then if you want? Me and a few friends had plans but they’re all on the team and I’m sure they’d love to have you there too.”

“Yeah, that sounds great I’d love to!”

The conversation pretty much ended there and your contact with her was fairly limited, just a small comment here or there until you finally got to fly back to school for summer training. You settle back into the apartment you left a couple months ago, everything is still a mess where you left it but the kitchen and living room are even filthier since you are not around to clean up much after your roommates. You decided to wait until your team practice to talk to Kate about hanging out again. You didn’t want to come on too strong but also a small part of you feels like she forgot what she said months ago and you won’t end up seeing her, not outside of team stuff at least. 

You grabbed your gear and headed to the field where practice was being held. You saw some of your friends from last year and decided to catch up with them before coach pulled you all in to start practice. You were trying your best not to make it obvious but your eyes were tracking all around you looking for Kate but she was nowhere to be seen. 

*Whistle* “Okay team! Let’s bring it in. First, I just want to say thank you to everyone for making the effort to come back to campus for this, meeting I–”

“SORRY SORRY SORRY!” You hear the coach interrupted as footsteps are fast approaching the circle of archers. 

“Hi Kate.” Says coach.

“I am SO sorry. My driver was running late and then there was traffic because of a giant accident, I think there was some battle in the streets again, I don’t know, either way, my bad coach, won’t happen again…I promise.” She says with the most adorable grin that is absolutely saying she will be late again. 

“It’s alright Kate, it happens, I was just telling the team how thankful I am that everyone could make the trip back to campus for this.” Coach went on to talk about the drills you were doing for the day and man was it hard to not be in awe watching her. You tried your best not to stare all day because the last thing you wanted to do was make it obvious but fuck it felt impossible. The day came to an end and you packed up your gear, Kate was talking with the other seniors on the team as they were gathering their things and started to head out. You could feel your window closing to talk to her but interrupting her conversation with her friends and “inviting” yourself out with them just felt too weird and uncomfortable. If it wasn’t meant to be then it wasn’t meant to be but you would kill to be able to just spend an hour with her. 

You watched as she started to walk away towards the parking lot with her friends when all of a sudden she motioned for them to hold on a minute and she turned around and jogged over to you. 

“Hey y/n! Sorry we didn’t get to catch up much during practice, I saw your shooting though it’s looking good.” 

Yeah…your face is bright red. Control your shit. 

“Anyways, me and a couple friends are going out later tonight to a party that one of their friends is hosting. It’s like a Hawaiian beach summer nights themed type of party so if you have something like that to wear, that would be great.”

“Yeah, I might have something, I’ll take a look when I get home.” 

“Cool! I’ll text you the address once I get it off my friend and I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah, sounds good!” 

“Here, why don’t you put your number into my phone, I don’t like using DM’s that much.”

You take Kate’s phone out of her hand and fill out a contact for yourself, praying that she can’t hear your heart beating out of your chest. 

“Cool, thanks, I’ll send you a text in a bit.” She says with a smile and then runs off to re-join her friends. 

It seems silly sitting by your phone and literally watching the minutes tick by waiting for her to text you but that’s all  you could do. The anticipation felt like it was killing you. 

Your phone finally buzzed with a mystery number attached, “Hey y/n! It’s Kate. So…slight change of plans.”

Fuck. Is she bailing? Your eyes were glued on the three dots as she typed and you watched as they disappeared and reappeared. 

“Turns out the party is actually around the corner from my place so if you wanted to just come here first, we could pre-game and shit and then walk over together? My friends said they were going out to get their hair done so they’ll be running late.”

“Hey Kate, yeah no problem that works for me just send me your address and lmk what time you want me there.”

Kate dropped a pin of her location to you with the text attached telling you to come over at 7pm. 

7pm rolled around and you were already there outside but you kind of felt like you should wait another minute or two so you weren’t RIGHT on time. Or is it weird to be a minute late? But wouldn’t being on time be weirder? Whatever, you decided to just wait a minute and then knock on her door. 

Knocking on her door was the most nerve wracking thing you ever did, you were genuinely shitting bricks. 

“HEY! Come in come in!” Kate eagerly yells at you as she swings the door open. She’s wearing shorts with a bright purple bikini top and a button down Hawaiian shirt over top that doesn’t have a single button done up. Are you starring? Yes. Probably? Absolutely you are. 

“Make yourself at home, feel free to grab a drink from the fridge, my roommates are out of town and left all their alcohol so help yourself.” She said with a laugh. 

You heard that right? Her roommates are out of town. Just the two of you…you never know. 

You grabbed a drink from the fridge and took a seat on the couch next to her and yeah…the drink started going down faster than usual because of all the nerves in your stomach. The two of you made small talk for awhile but the conversation started flowing a little more naturally about 2 drinks in. Were you still kind of awkward as hell? Yeah…a little. But at least you warmed up to her a bit and weren’t acting so weird. About an hour later, her friends showed up and grabbed you guys to head over to the party. Honestly, things were going so well with just the two of you that you didn’t even want to go to this party but if it meant you got to spend more time with her then there you were. You got to the party and you honestly knew practically nobody. You weren’t exactly a social butterfly but Kate clearly was. She was talking to EVERYBODY. The boys at the party especially loved her. There was lots of laughing and flirting going on, you could feel the jealousy building but acting out was definitely not an option. You ended up socialising with a few of the other people at the party but for most of the night you stuck by Kate’s side, the two of you got pretty drunk together, pouring shots for one another and dancing in the pit of people to extremely loud music. There was a point where it felt like it was just you and her and nobody else was there while the music was blasting into your ears and the two of you were jumping together to the beat and singing out the lyrics to whatever song was on at the time. Kate got really close to you until some guy would come and pull her away in an attempt to make a move on her. Although, it never actually happened. Kate always ended up finding her way back to you. At one point she grabbed your hand and pulled you into the middle of the crowd as the two of you sang (screamed) the lyrics to “love story” into each other's faces. The party, as all do, started to simmer down. You guys actually ended up being some of the last people at the party, you stuck around to the point where the music was gone and most people were just sitting around chatting halfway sober. 

“Hey, I think I’m going to go home, I am super tired right now.” Kate says to you. 

“Okay, I’ll walk with you, I left my bag at your place anyways so I have to grab it.” 

“Right, sounds good.” 

Although the two of you had been singing and dancing for hours, she looked just as perfect as when you left and you were trying your hardest not to stare at her while the two of you were walking side-by-side. 

The walk back to her place was pretty quick, when the two of you got inside you went to grab your bag and get your things together. You were desperately trying to figure out what to say to her while you were organising your stuff. You didn’t want to come on too strong but you also want to make sure that she knows you had a good time…I guess just tell her exactly that?

“I had a really good time tonight, thanks again for inviting me.” You say as you’re leaning against the wall in her hallway. 

“Of course, anytime. And I did too. We should really hang out more when we come back to school.” She replies. 

Kate walks towards you and stops about a foot away leaning up against the doorframe to her bedroom. The hallway is super narrow and all you can think about is pinning her against the wall while you kiss down her neck and pull her tight by her waist. 

“Yeah I think so too. I guess I should probably head out.” You say as she looks at you with the softest eyes that you swore said “please stay”. You lingered for a second longer as the two of you were looking at each other, tired, kind of tipsy and on the verge of ripping each other's clothing off. All you wanted was for her to actually ask you to stay a little longer but before she had the chance you were already walking towards the door. 

“Have a good night y/n.” She says. “Text me when you get home safe.”

“I will. Sleep well Kate.” You reply as you turn to look at her with a smile and step out the front door. 

That goodbye felt different. It felt like there were still feelings in the air and lots that wanted to be said that wasn't. It felt like the perfect opportunity with nobody around after an amazing night together has passed but you regret none of it. Although you weren’t able to get a confirmation on whether or not Kate even likes women like you do, you knew there was definitely a type of tension between the two of you that she definitely noticed.

-- END OF PT 1 --

Taglist: @yelenaslyubov @youreatotalposer @jeyramarie @flosbelova @bridgecitybrad @justthis-stuff @chloe7076 @ailenepuff @ravenclawbitch426 @mellowladyangel @amcg0605-blog @kassies-take @yelenaswife1996 @wandanatchick @lilroachsworld @inluvwithfictionalwomen @x666hours @natashaswife4125 @onetruwhore @karmasgxrl @hopelesslyfallenninlove @setsuna1415 @swiftdazer @imobsessedwithmilfss @madamevirgo @louisprettybab @splatalia-jumpanova @jediluka @t00manyfand0ms

[awfcrusso]

My thoughts on every single player today for Barça

Starting XI

Cata - needs to stop pissing about with the ball on the goal line it’s gonna backfire massively eventually. But to be fair she made a good few saves could’ve easily been more.

Frido - did fuck all really basically always passed backwards made a few nice passes to alexia but that’s it.

Mapi - fucking awful her and Ingrid as a CB partnership doesn’t work. They’re a great couple but a CB partnership not so much. Honestly baffled at how she managed to play a full 90’ that booking she got she was bloody lucky Ingrid was there or that was a red card.

Ingrid - was better of the CBs coped with Bummy relatively well. Personally feel she shouldn’t have been subbed off but hey ho im not the manager. She is as solid defender.

Ona - wasn’t great wasn’t awful honestly didn’t really notice her in the first half she did an awful throw in in the second half tho.

Keira - didn’t notice her at all in the entire game apart from that god awful shot she had near the end of the game.

Patri - worst player on the pitch for me. Can’t pass for shit especially forwards passing back to mapi she’s great at that but we aren’t playing fucking rugby. Honestly can’t believe she wasn’t taken off at half time abysmal.

Aitana - had an… okay game. Came alive towards the end of the game and made a good few chances could’ve had more chances if you know caro would fucking run but whatever. One of the better players of the starting XI.

Alexia - was fucking everywhere on that pitch can’t really complain at her today could’ve probably done more tho but so could everyone.

Ewa - best player that started ran her fucking socks off for unlucky a few times wasn’t she the one that hit the post? And then that shot that was cleared off the line by Laia. (We need her next season) kinda dwindled towards the end of the game but girlie was probably dead.

Caro - second worst after Patri. Literally did nothing had a few chances but blew them badly. So many passes that came her way and she just didn’t fucking run drove me up the wall. I’m a firm believer she should get that ballon dor but girl these performances she’s been putting out this season aren’t it. Please please become 23/24 CGH again xoxo.

Subs

Pina - brought that spark to the attack that we were seriously lacking but bringing Ingrid off for her was a lil weird. But easily POTM for me tonight changed that game attacking wise a tone and should’ve started.

Esmee - another player I firmly believe should’ve been brought on at half time. Came on in that LB role she’s been playing all season and calmed that area of the pitch down. She’s gonna be immense this season.

Irene - should’ve A. Started. B. Come on at half time or C. Come on with Pina. She’s a brick wall we need her in defence she needs to be the starting CB especially in big games like that with players like bunny shaw against us. We needed her today played well for what the 10 minutes she was on the pitch??

Vicky - I love her I really do. Spent more time doing caros job when she came on this girl is gonna win a ballon dor. Again brought a spark that we so desperately craved but unfortunately was just too late.

Kika - a bit like Vicky but more bitey again could’ve done with been given more time and not have been brought on when we were 2-0 down in the 86th minutes does that man expect these kids to work wonders or something???

Manager

Pere - me no like you. You’ve changed something about this Barça team and I’m not a fan of it they’ve lost all the flair and confidence they had under Jonatan. And with him we aren’t winning that CL sorry to say it.

Jonatan - come back home I miss you gonna kms

[mass-convergence]

On Criminal Minds and Stuff

Okay this started out as a thing about what I thought about how the more recent seasons (post Mr. Scratch but pre-Evolution) handled JJ and Emily’s friendship/dynamic … and then it spiraled out of control into a whole analysis on the most recent seasons in general. So excuse the disorganized thoughts here - coming off of a night shift and also I’m typing this on my phone. It is what it is.

I would like to see more of the dynamic between JJ and Emily as close friends, I feel like that’s been somewhat lacking in the most recent seasons pre-Evolution. JJ freaking got shot (and died for a second … honestly surprised she wasn’t laid up for longer but that’s TV for you) and given how close those two were in previous seasons - you would think there would be more screen time to Emily’s reaction to JJ getting shot. JJ helped arrange Emily’s fake death and Emily literally flew her ass back to Quantico from London when JJ got kidnapped. I know Emily is the queen of compartmentalization but … idk … I feel like we should have gotten something other than a brief scene where Emily shows up at the hospital to ask JJ if she could confirm if Grace was the one who shot her. Doesn’t even show the interaction either - Emily just shows up and says she’s going to talk to JJ and that’s it. I remember when Garcia got shot and everyone on the team was in that waiting room even though her shooter was on the loose. (Guess thats what fanfic’s for 🤷🏻)

Also on the vein of JJ getting shot - and this is me being somewhat nitpicky about how this was written but:

How the fuck did no one notice JJ was missing … or not hear the gun going off in that parking garage? I feel like that was written solely so Reid could notice and go find her and I found that entire progression of events very clunky. How JJ got shot was a little dumb too. JJ is a veteran FBI agent at this point; she probably wouldn’t have bent over to pick up the gun, which necessitated her taking her attention away from the two unsecured suspects who already proved themselves to be pretty dangerous. I feel like she’d have called for someone and kept her gun trained on the two. It wasn’t like she was in the middle of nowhere. It was just … kind of stupidly written? I read that she got shot in this episode before I watched it - and I had envisioned some kind of active shoot out situation where a bunch more people were involved and JJ got hit by a lucky (or I suppose unlucky) shot. Not JJ standing alone in a parking garage with zero backup and making the dumbest choice imaginable that just doesn’t seem to fit with her character at all. She’s a trained FBI agent - that’s not a mistake she would have made. Like what the fuck that was kind of stupid I’m sorry.

Also - I’m not saying that the show should write JJ and Emily getting together. As much as I do ship them romantically and love reading fic about them together … I also do like the concept of those two just having a strong platonic bond because as an ace person: I need more representations of that shit in media okay? Not everyone needs to be jumping each other’s bones.

Tbh the lack of intrateam romances was what drew me to this show in the first place. This team’s seen the worst that humanity has to offer and they have each other’s backs like a family and I love that. I love those small moments where they’re just hanging out as a team at the bar or watching their boss run in a race (while a bunch of them are hungover from Girl’s Night). It’s not an MCU Avengers situation where they feel like they’re all coworkers who vaguely hate each other. The BAU team’s a tight knit group and they love and support each other (which is what bothered me with how JJ getting shot was written - we had an entire episode dedicated to Garcia getting shot and the team’s response to that. You’re telling me Reid was the only guy who was in that waiting room - I get the Chameleon was at large and stuff but seriously no one else on the BAU team other than Reid was in that waiting room at least for a little bit).

I just feel like some of that team as a family dynamic has been pushed to the side in favor of writing about vaguely omnipotent serial killer #47282727 who has developed some kind of obsession or grudge with the BAU. Yes the multi episode super smart and competent serial killers were great to see but I don’t need that rehashed every season. Sometimes a terrifying dude whose case takes up back to back episodes before he (or she) is caught in the season opener would be fine. And that unsub’s only issue with the BAU is that they’re trying to stop him. At a certain point it’s like Marvel movies trying to treat a world ending threat like a serious thing when that’s been the plot of the past ten movies. Not everything needs to be a grand plotline. Sometimes the stakes can be small but feel just as important as a world ending threat.

Like Cyrus? Terrifying cult leader. Great. We didn’t need to have his cult re-emerge again (and somehow escape detection for all these years).

… I also have my thoughts on how Emily as Unit Chief has been written in the episodes I’ve seen (again haven’t watched Evolution yet but I’m very much looking forward to the episode where she gets high). I think that’s why I liked “Saturday” because we kind of got that glimpse of her personality that I loved in the earlier seasons. Maybe because she was out of her role as unit chief so she didn’t have to have that somewhat aloof air of professionalism and ultra-competency. She could just be Emily and eat eight (sorry, seven) donuts and drink wine … and also get sued by her former neighbor and not make the greatest decision in how to handle it.

I love this show, it got me through high school and it was one of the driving factors to me getting a job with the federal government as a civil servant who’s job is to protect the public. Not that I do anything as badass as the BAU, I sit at a desk and according to some people: I get paid to be wrong all the time. Like my current career path isn’t 100% because of Criminal Minds but I can’t deny that the whole concept of being part of a group that helps protect people didn’t nudge me in that direction. Basically - this show meant a lot and still means a lot to me even if I lost touch with it for a few years. I never get tired of going back to the old seasons and rewatching my favorite episodes.

This show just clicked for me. I always aspired to be like Emily, mainly for a stupid “we shared the same first name at some point before I realized some stuff about my gender identity” reason but she also resonated with me as someone who felt like she didn’t quite belong when she first joined the BAU and tried super hard to prove herself. Like that describes my entire state of being from elementary school until now (I’ve only just started really believing my coworkers when they tell me I’m doing a good job and I’m a valuable asset to the office). I looked up to her and I still do.

I wish I had a friend like JJ. Probably wouldn’t need her assistance in faking my own death unless something goes truly off the rails in my life. But I dunno, she just so kind and warm and caring and also a total badass (though, again - I don’t know if I’ve seen too much of that side of her in the more recent seasons and it’s kind of sad). I’m not saying I don’t have friends irl like that but idk, I just wish I had a friend like her.

I looked up to Reid as someone who’s had many of his socially awkward tendencies, but he was always not afraid to be himself and I found that amazing. As someone who’s felt like they’ve had to mask their neurodivergence - sometimes I’m like “but I could be like Reid and just … be myself”.

I could go on about Hotch, Rossi, Garcia, and Morgan - even Alex Blake who I feel like people didn’t really like at first (not sure about her current standing in the fandom … I think people have warmed to her - I just happened to be in that era where god forbid a woman show up and “replace” the fandom favorite or get in the way of a ship that was never going to canonically sail).

This post/essay/ramble has gone on for long enough though … even though I have plenty more thoughts. I like how this show actually pulled me out of this weird depressive funk I’ve been in for the past half year and I actually care about things again. I’m sure there were other factors involved with that but watching a childhood favorite was certainly a contributing factor. I’m going to go do some Christmas-y shit that involves stuffing my face with whatever’s in my fridge and pass out now.

[handsome-edvard]

Hot take for the Robinwest nation

I think the scene in season 1 where she gives him the puppy eyes could have been more interesting if he did stick to his firm NO. He storms off and that’s the end of that.

But what if that was just the set up?

Cut to the Robinsons scrambling to figure out how to make it work with just John’s weight in the shuttle, and Maureen is stressed but determined in her calculations, and Judy is clearly considering going with her dad when-

Enter Don West, clad in a bright orange spacesuit, swaggering into the passenger seat of the shuttle saying, “If anyone asks, I got paid for this.”

“Don?” Maureen gasps.

“A lot,” Don carries on, settling into the co-pilot station. “And if I die up there I better get a statue. My own holiday on Alpha Centauri.”

And Maureen is smiling in disbelief and John is skeptical but at a loss, and Penny and Will are relieved. Don sees all of that but he hasn’t looked at Judy. Not yet.

Thing is he didn’t see her behind him in that room when Maureen and John tried to sell him on the idea, and he told them to send him a postcard.

He’d said no because it is his life on the line too, he likes being alive, and doing the right thing does really suck.

So he doesn’t look at Judy right now as he doesn’t know what he’s going to find behind those big brown eyes that previously beseeched him to help. The ones he couldn’t stop thinking about later.

She had looked so devastated by his refusal, so vulnerable, that he is honestly not sure risking his life is enough to get her to talk to him again.

Probably for the best.

He flipped that tanker for her and he lost the money, then they lost Evan eventually. It was all for nothing. From where he’s standing, doing things for Judy doesn’t help him in any way, and that’s a problem because he can’t seem to stop. It’s entirely irrational.

He locks eyes with her later on, after various trials of his recovery time in test launches. He’s even more sluggish with each trial but it can work. They can do it. Don can’t tell what Judy is thinking and she looks away just as quickly as he does. But one thing he knows for certain is how she looks when she’s pissed and this — is not that.

Now they’re about to leave and Don needs an excuse to be near Judy one last time. Debbie clucks beside him and Don figures if he dies up there with John, he should make sure the lucky chicken is with someone else, maybe bring them a bit of extra luck like she did for him.

“I don’t want your chicken,” Judy says, when she realizes what Don has for her.

He thought she looked almost eager when he called out for her (it was endearing, really), and the way she rolls his eye at him right now is—that’s what it is.

That’s what does it for him.

The reason he’s risking even more than he already has is not because Maureen asked or because John needs someone else in the shuttle.

“And I don’t want to hurtle through space in a tin can,” Don replied, “but here we are.”

She doesn’t seem mad at him, not anymore, and that’s good enough for him. If he goes out doing something for her, it’s good enough for him.

He’s a decent person who has been dealt a bad hand and it’s still so awkward for someone like him to admit he’s a smuggler—he never liked that word—and the thing about Judy is, when she looks at him, it’s like she can see who he actually is underneath everything.

That’s why all her appeals to his better nature always succeed. It’s how the prior caught-off guard No eventually turned into a Yes.

It’s not just his life on the line, it’s her life too, and everyone else’s lives. He wants to reaffirm that he is a better man than everyone thinks, that they are past the money.

“Bye Debbie,” Don says gently.

“Don?” Judy calls after him just as he turns to leave. Her eyes are different, almost shimmering with emotion. Doing that thing from earlier but for a different reason. “Hey, try not to die up there, okay? Make sure you fight.”

There it is. Now he knows for certain they’re back on good terms. Beneath the hefty space suit, a flutter blooms in his chest.

Judy is preparing herself for the possibility that they may never see each other again. Don gives her a smile. He wants her to remember him well.

“Do my best. See you on the other side.” He winks at her and departs, hiding his own bittersweet smile.

. . .

When the shuttle explodes as it hurtles through the atmosphere Judy lets out a scream before she even knows it, and her eyes fill with tears for her Dad and for Don, because Don didn’t want to do this. She tried so hard to convince him and she thought she failed until he came back and strapped into the copilot seat.

And now he’s gone. He’s dead because of her. How can she live with that?

. . .

But then when she hears his sweetly bruised voice through the comm, thick with emotion, her eyes fill with tears again. “Are you crying?”

“No?” Don says.

“Yes you are!” Judy laughs and cries a little too, already thinking about when she’s going to see him again.

“They’re happy tears,” John confirms.

Don is so heroic. He made it. Judy is overjoyed and she can’t wait to hear his voice his person, to see the crinkles near his eyes when his smiles begin to form.

. . .

Don shuffles a few paces behind John Robinson. He knows the family is going to be all over the man, so he figures he’ll just give them some space. Although he’s been thinking about Judy he can’t let that show in front of everyone, and so when he becomes aware of her presence, Don tries his best to maneuver around everyone and maybe go see about Debbie.

But Judy pulls away from John and comes to him. Her eyes are full of admiration and pride and relief. It’s crazy how one person can make him feel like he’s a hero among men.

“Hey Doc,” Don says, watching as her arms extend. He catches her quickly, glad to see someone is happy to see him, and not just anyone — her. “That’s right Judy, I am amazing.”

Judy laughs, her arms tightening around him, basking in his warmth. “I’m glad you’re okay,” she says softly.

“Yeah. Me too.” Don pulls back to see that something is different about Judy’s demeanor — like calling her princess might do some things to her. “You good?”

Judy nods. “Never better.”

[marie-scary]

saw someone do this with Glee, so i decided to try my swing at yellowjackets as Grey’s Anatomy characters🙂‍↕️

(only from seasons like 1-10is. bc that show (as a fan) has no business being that long) also most of these are crack😭🙂‍↕️

Shauna: Meredith Grey, slutty mistress, need i say more?

Lottie: Jo Wilson, they’re both goofy and dorky, and if i remember correctly when jo and alex were drinking she talked about stealing something. (i’ll rewatch and confirm this🤝🏼)

Misty: Cristina Yang, one of the twisted sisters. Cristina is very cutthroat and i feel like the misty killing jessica robert’s is pretty cutthroat. also yang is just super fucking smart, and so is misty. (i would like to note cristina yang would hate misty)

Javi: Andrew Deluca, just bc he’s sweet and he dies in the end. like i’m sorry bro but yeah😭

Tai: Owen Hunt, my fav sleepwalking adulterers <3 no but the way they both deal with trauma is so funny. like no let’s not deal with it. lets repress it and act like im not the problem (tai is not the problem tho, women are never the problem)(i actually hate owen hunt. fuck that bitch ass ginger (this is just a slide at owen. other than that ginger women {bc i don’t fuck with the male specimen} are so hot. thank you for existing))

Laura Lee: April Kepner, do we even have to ask that? i love me some bible thumpers. also i like how their environment challenges/strengthens their faith. holy women for the win ❤️🙏🏼

Mari: Lexie Grey, honestly i’m still not sure about this one, but idk i think they’re both so cute and goofy and bc mari is pit girl and lexie died in the woods😔

Gen: Callie Torres, gives off mean vibes but it’s lowkey a cutie. but also a total bad fucking ass

Ben: Arizona Robbins, twinnsss😝🤞🏼(arizona got one up on him with the prosthetic and being able to be openly gay tho😔)

Akilah: Izzie Stevens, something about hallucinating shit that isn’t there is crazy. but idk what’s crazier. hallucinating having a pet rat but it’s actually been dead the whole time or hallucinating fucking your dead ex-lover/patient/someone you stole a heart for?? idk chat, shits wild asf😭

Van: George O’Malley, only the good parts bc those parts george was sweet and cute and all fun go lucky.

Travis: Preston Burke, arrogant, narcissistic, sexist, fucking douchebags, god complex’s 😒(but also burke, like travis, had his good moments. i will say i do favor travis’ character more tho. bc he’s a kid and that’s understandable. but at his big fucking age burke knows better (okay i’m sorry let me stop before i get heated😭) anyways yeah)

Nat: Alex Karev/Amelia Shepherd, let’s be honest here, alex is so nat, when it comes to the brooding, dickhead, boyfriend, who came from a tough childhood and swears he’s tough as shit just bc he boxes. but is a fucking puppy dog and follows you around and laughs super hard at shit you say even tho you just said that persons shirt looked weird. she’s also very Amelia coded. and yes bc of the drugs and the daddy issues with seeing him get shot. maybe not the same circumstances or relationship but it played a big role in her life.

Jackie: Derek Shepherd, let’s be so fucking fr rn. of course jackie would be charming, annoying, stuck up, pretentious, McDreamy, loyal to a fault, himbo man. “it’s a beautiful day to save lives” headass😭im sorry but i totally see it. also they both die in crazy ways after both surviving a plane crash. if anyone needs to be studied, it’s them.

[planet-crait]

A New Dev-elopement is next and I’m super excited! It sucks getting attached to Dev with kind of knowing what happens but also I hope for a season two to keep developing him.

Do these kids not normally get homework over the weekend? Lucky. Also a treasure hunt sounds fun! Not sure how that’s homework and what it’s teaching? Maybe the history of the city? Maybe? Or the clues are word problems they have to solve? Well we’ll see what they come up with for it. Kind of hilarious how blatantly everyone hurls paper at Mr. Guzman for that though.

How does the school afford tickets to the water park as prizes? Aww poor kids they’re so devastated that they’re going to be randomly paired. Ohh the heartbreak. I mean. I can’t necessarily relate I uh never had friends in my classes.

Anyways I get Mr. Guzman wants to get the kids to make new friends but I also get the pain especially for a big weekend thing. Oh no. Oh no Hazel when will you learn not to use the word Wish unless you mean it? Wanda’s horrified look was pretty funny though. But oh Hazel may or may not regret that wish I know she’s going to be paired with Dev now.

Lolz Dev and Hazels mini fight is funny but Mr. Guzman should break them up. Hazel you really don’t see why this happened? I think I’ve given up on the questioning Hazel blatantly talking to them it just. Is going to keep being yadda yaddad past. To be fair Hazel you said I wish. You can only blame yourself.

Ohh poor Dev. He can’t even play his game which has music that isn’t very loud at all. Like oof his dad blatantly says his work is a priority over Dev which. Is not an easy pill to swallow. I realize we’re not supposed to like him but he is literally a ten year old being emotionally abused at a minimum by his only parental figure in his life I will always struggle to hold any grudges against literal children especially abused ones okay sue me. (I mean good luck you’ll get like a sandwich and two pencils).

Why am I not surprised Dev wants to ditch a school activity? He seems to believe money will get him anything he wants and well…I can’t argue with the logic as fucked up as that is. I mean it’s wrong morally but it’s not incorrect because capitalism ruins everything.

Ohh so Hazel and Dev have a common book and Game in common? They seem like they could get along really well if Dev wasn’t so spoiled. But ohhh Dev does get the clues right lolz.

I just realized though making ten year plans old walk all over the city by themselves feels kind of cruel. They’re ten and it’s a big city. Also does each pair have their own clues? Like Hazel and Dev keep the post it notes how will the next pair find the next clue unless they’re all different?

Aww Dev and Hazel are having a moment that’s so cute honestly. They get it at the same time and have a little air guitar duet and are laughing. But ohhh the moment has to end. Not surprising I can imagine opening up is not easy for Dev given the glimpses of his home life we got.

He’s starting to smile though that’s progress! Oh OH! He takes off his glasses when he’s finally ready to make a connection (High giving someone) I thought maybe the glasses where like a mask for him and he takes them off when he’s ready to lower the mask and maybe let someone in. Poor kids though fail the high five and face plant hard.

Oh he didn’t put them back on and they laughed despite that oh that’s so cute. I wonder if the pizza stuff did a lot of heavy lifting for getting Dev to be willing to open up to Hazel? That would make sense honestly especially if he’s as starved for affection as I imagine he is.

Seeing him so genuinely smiling is so sweet and cute it makes my heart melt honestly. OHHH HE CALLED HER HAZEL AND NOT ANOTHER NAME!!!! They’re laughing and joking it’s so cute. Aww Hazel is praising Dev to his dad it’s so dang sweet. Oh. Oh no. Dale is brushing it off I hope Dev doesn’t shut down after this.

Oh no he did shut down. Oh poor kid. I feel so bad for him he was so happy and smiling and eager to introduce Hazel to his dad and he just shut him down and his accomplishments so hard. I cannot imagine how crushing it is to have your parent so blatantly brush off the hard work you did especially when it’s something you’re really proud of.

Hazel is trying so hard to reconnect and bring up the fun they had but oof years of emotional abuse do some damage and I’m not sure how easily that can be undone. Ohhh he has really shut down he put the glasses back on and called her the wrong name oof. I think I was right about the glasses being a mask. They hide what his eyes could show as sadness or other emotions he doesn’t want people (his dad) to see. It’s painful seeing such a young kid putting up a mask like this.

Oh I expected Hazel to cry not get mad and leave. Interesting. Also interesting to see Dev seem to immediately regret it and feel bad about it. Unfortunately abuse just. Messes with you. We don’t have any blatant abuse on screen (this is a kids show) but given the neglect Dev faces I struggle to think there isn’t also some major emotional abuse he deals with.

Hazels emotions seem all over the place her being so salty about the sushi. I have a feeling she’s trying to push down the feelings of friendship she was forming with Dev. Oh huh. Didn’t expect Dev to show up again. I guess he really connected with Hazel and just can’t admit it yet. Ohhh Devs insult gave Hazel the clue she needed I love that. Not the insult Hazels mind going back immediately to the project. I didn’t expect the paperweight to be relevant again but hey it works. Oh wow Dev looks super guilty. I kind of expected something to push him but he seems to be doing this all on his own.

Oh Dev lowering his glasses as he re opens up to Hazel. I get that though it makes sense his dad puts him down so much that he would immediately shut down. He is desperate to get something for his dad he’s willing to do a lot to try and get something I don’t think his dad will ever give him. Good on Hazel though for calling out that he hurt her. He owned up which is good but Hazel should call out she got hurt from it. HE SAID SORRY HE SAID SORRY!!!! Aww Hazel forgives him so easily and he removed the glasses again oh my heart.

Wait wait emotional growth wish????? I don’t think that’s ever come up before. Like ever.

Heist yes I love this. Lolz Dev finding doors open over and over again is hilarious. Dev joining on Hazels imagination for the heist is so cute though. And them posing for the security cameras is so funny. Oh more Dev smiles I love it!!!

Ohh I was wondering why he would demand students break into the principles office. That makes more sense and aww. Those photos are so cute. They’re adorable. Protect them at all costs. I do love the principle doesn’t care suddenly because homework over the weekend. Honestly nailed her personality there to solve the conflict.

Oh no the water park closed. Oh the kids will RIOT. THEY NAILED THEIR HIGH FIVE FINALLY!!!!!

Okay so uh. New favorite episode to be quite frank. The wish and its result made sense. The development for Dev worked and Hazel kind of understands Dev more and he’s being more open and not wearing his sunglasses anymore. Also Dev and Hazel are so dang cute. I hope we see him making more friends I need to see this child get love and support damn it. Really really solid episode absolutely loved it I hope we see more of Dev and Hazel hanging out. She clearly has a very good influence on him and he needs that in his life.

[rocketboots564]

I decided to write more of my first time reactions and thoughts to rvb Season 9!

This should (hopefully) be the third and final part for season 9.

Season 9 part 3:

Imagine showing up to your funeral, and they don’t even give you a respectable eulogy… They just talk shit about how you talked a lot…

Yeah I would kill all of them… Simmons is 10 times the man I’ll ever be.

Oh so Maine straight up stole the grenade launcher! Kinda like he did with AI units… history is a full circle once again

You know… I feel like the director should’ve given them equipment just in case the sarcophagus thing was heavy. Which it is. The Director is a really bad boss

Understatement of the century I know

Washington I’m 80% sure half the things you freelancers do is improvise… and honestly I’d be sick of it too

Oh yeah Carolina let’s just fucking kick out friends off of a SEVERAL STORIES TALL BUILDING. You’re lucky you have that armor.

The freelancers do heists the same way I played Payday 2: Five minutes of stealth before going “nah fuck this” and blasting the brains of some poor shmuck all over the walls

I think you SHOULD feel bad for the people down there, you tossed MAINE at them Carolina.

You chose to use the flamethrower… inside a building… no wonder the freelancers kick your guy’s asses on the reg… yall are fucking idiots

DONT YOU DISRESPECT THAT GUN IT SAVED OUR ASS IN REACH. Bouncy gun is fun

“That bit with the purple plane? That was just showing off,” well when your number one in Freelancer ranked mode you might as well act like it Wash

You know Carolina kinda acts like Tex a bit. No wonder they’re at odds. There’s only room for one dommy mommy bisexual badass in this show

Oh it’s not a bomb… it’s worse… it’s a big ass fucking lazer

AHSBBFMSM THE JPEG EXPLOSION is KILING ME

Yeah Carolina I bet it is karma… deserved Karma

NOT THE XYLOPHONE!

CAROLINA HITTING THE FUCKING Sonic Adventure 2 CITY ESCAPE “talk about low budget flights. No food or movies? I’m outta here!” ON THE SARCOPHAGUS

I’m surprised Project Freelancer wasn’t investigated and shut down earlier with how much property damage and civilians they endanger.

Tex being responsible about the about the team is a nice change of pace–oh she was paid…. makes sense.

Simmons can play the Banjo? When’s his new single dropping?

Grif be supportive of your Brofriend (Bro + Boyfriend = Brofriend)

Wow… imagine your best friend being closer with your ex/not-ex girlfriend than you.

Couldn’t be me Church… mainly cause I’m gay and don’t have a girlfriend

Sarge, the planet is quite literally breaking apart, and your plan is to blow it up… honestly I’m not even surprised.

It’s actually astounding how absolutely this heist went to shit… and quickly too.

“We had to learn to care for our equipment” Tex says. Cut to five minutes ago where she drove a motorcycle through a glass wall.

HOLY SHIT MAINE CAN TAKE SOME DAMAGE! I mean I know they’re wearing Spartan armor and all, but JEEZE.

I love how even the freelancers almost (emphasis on almost) fumble their stuff like the red and blue teams.

Like when Carolina juggles the briefcase in the air before getting a hold of it, and then immediately getting kicked back.

Damn… more Carolina and Tex beef.

How much do I wanna bet Grif’s plan is gonna backfire hilariously?

Yes it backfired horribly… because now Andy exists… again

Oh hey Delta was born! Great! Which means Alpha/Church was just tortured to the point that his mind split…. Not great…

“We’re the good guys? Right?” Oh… you’re concerned you’re not? What clued you in, the insane property damage, murder, or endangered civilians?

“I forget you…” AAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS SO SAD YET SO GOOD.

And they brought him back… that’s actually really fucking funny.

THEYRE GONNA KILL THE DIRECTOR?! AWWW YES THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS IT COMING.

Conclusion: YES I CANT WAIT TO WATCH SEASON 10

[sc0tters]

i was just thinking the same thing!!!!

gwen and luke are like you know we are going back to umich for another season right? jack is like okay and i need the apartment now

timo and nico walk in and see all of the rookies chilling on the catch and is wondering what they just walked into

oh yeah gwen may steal her clothes but luke he will steal everything he can fit into (lucky for him she has so much hockey clothes he can wear.) aw her number 🥺 more often than not they are wearing each others clothes and numbers during interviews. he is such a proud simp and always bragging he is hers. she fits being a blonde so well

gwen is laughing but she doesn’t even realize that luke will do anything she asks so nico uses it and luke behaves so much more

nico will use any means necessary to get luke to behave and he is not above bribing and gwen catches on and starts bribing luke too which is a win win for luke and gwen

oh yeah she knows what his look is and she’s so red her entire interview and all but drags luke out of the locker room, luke is smug the entire car ride yapping to her about what he is going to do

Gwen felt bad telling Jack they weren’t coming immediately but then he was like “that’s perfect because then we can pick the perfect apartment!” So she honestly just let him do his thing and gave her opinion when he sent her decorations for the place.

Timo and Nico will walk in and the rookies are playing Cluedo or on the Wii that Luke and Gwen bought together when they were like 12 (the at home dates these two have trying to beat each other at bowling is actually bad).

I feel like Gwen will get her clothes in a size that she knows will fit Luke when it comes to hockey stuff because often times with her shirts and hoodies she wants them a little bit bigger. But there are most of her T-shirts that are her own size because Luke loves the way they look on her boobs. He loves her clothes because they smell like her so it almost makes him feel fuzzy thinking about how she has worn it all too. They came up with their numbers together so Quinn sometimes jokes that she did it for him and not Luke but luke gets so irritated cause he’s like “nice try this one is all mine, find your own Gwen.”

In interviews the fans are actually convinced that if they aren’t in their gear then they actually don’t know anything but the other persons clothing. Like there is the cutest video of Gwen and Luke that someone on the media team caught where she gives him a kiss before she runs off to do an interview and they’re both in each others hoodie (like it’s the same hoodie but they’re each wearing the other persons number)

funnily enough the girl in that picture was actually where I got her name from so I’m glad the vibe fits 😭

Gwen is so unaware of the power she actually holds over Luke. Like I don’t know if she ever truly realises it.

She loves getting to do it for Nico though because it means that she is getting laid at the end of the night and she gets to hang out with her boyfriend at work so even though Nico thinks he is winning Gwen swears that she is the true winner.

Nicos bribes only did so much because sometimes he’d forget and then get all puppy dog eyed when he d watch Gwen skate to a different group. He would always want to like lowkey cry but then she started offering him sex and he was the most well behaved boy she had ever met.

Luke will be driving and his hand is on her thigh talking about how pretty she looked when she got all flustered and how she almost forgot that she was in public too.

Gwen is so subtle when she’s needy like only Luke knows it because she makes it look like she’s just clingy when actually she is telling Luke that if he doesn’t move faster that she might just go ahead and finger herself in the car because she’s thinking about how pretty he is.

Everyone thinks that Luke is the horny one in their relationship but that woman has such a mouth on her…

[smokinholsters]

The Lucky Horseshoes - A Heartland Season 16 AU - Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Finn stood back and inspected his work. He had just finished the first coat in the kitchen and was checking to make sure he hadn’t missed anything or inadvertently smudged the ceiling where it met the walls as the ceilings were freshly painted in the renovation and were fine as they were.

This was the easiest room he was doing today since there were no encumbrances; cabinets, countertops and kitchen fixtures were being installed new over the next few days. All it would need after that was the table and chair set that Amy had ordered having decided to leave the set she and Ty had bought for the loft. She was taking her loft dishes but Lisa and Jessica had ordered her a new set of pots and pans. She’d fill in counter appliances during the next few weeks as she decided what she wanted.

Finn switched off his small speaker, grabbed one of the five-gallon buckets they were using as seats and moved into the hallway along with his thermos, a small bag and phone and poured himself a hot cup of coffee just as his phone rang.

“Hey you.” He said as he took a sip and noticed the time. It was 7:30.

“Good morning.” Amy said “How’s it going over there?”

“Good morning to you too. It’s going great, just finished the first coat in the kitchen and stopped for coffee and my breakfast bagel.”

“Wow, what time did you start?”

“Not sure exactly, maybe a little before six, I’m an early riser and I’d rather get done before dark, what’s your schedule like today?

“I have a client horse coming here because I need the jumps so I’ll spend some time with him first thing.”

“Hmmm, feel like bringing and having lunch with me?”

“I think that can be arranged, burger and fries OK?”

“And coffee would be perfect.”

“Coffee it is, not sure when though, I’ll text?”

“I’ll be here, hey, uhm, I’m not sure if I mentioned that I love you yesterday.”

Amy smiled to herself “hmmmm, well, do you?”

“I do actually.”

“Excellent then, all is forgiven, I’ll text you later.” She said with a chuckle and cut the line.

“Hey.” Finn said to himself “what am I chopped liver?”

A second later his phone rang again. “Forget something?”

“I love you too Finn.”

She cut the line then and he smiled putting down the phone and bringing the bagel to his mouth.

Later, Amy came up the stairs and followed the music into the master bath where she found Finn standing on a small step ladder just finishing the last wall.

“Nice butt for a painter.” She said which stopped him cold.

“You scared the hell out of me Amy and thanks, I’ve ways thought so.”

“You have huh, I texted and called.”

Finn smiled climbing down his two steps and reached into his back pocket. “I must have left my phone out there somewhere, sorry.”

“No matter, lunch is on the porch, is that Ok, I figured you could use some fresh air.”

“Yup, give me a minute in the other bathroom to wash up.”

“How’s your burger?” Amy asked after they’d settled on one of the porch benches and Finn had taken a bite.

“Still hot, how’d you manage that?”

“Thermal saddle bag, I threw it in the truck before I left.”

“Well, thank you for that, this is great.”

Amy smiled while chewing.

“You staying for the afternoon?” He asked.

“Yes and no. Yes I’m staying but no, not with you, I’m taking the kids out.”

“Trail ride?”

“More like a progress evaluation, see how they’re riding.”

“For whatever reason, a trail ride is a trail ride.”

“True enough, nice day for it too.”

Finn nodded while chewing and looking out at the mountain view from the porch. “Nice view, I guess most porches down here face that view huh?”

Amy smiled “They all seem to, it is a nice view, I love the mountains.”

“Bring dessert?”

“Apple pie.”

Finn smiled “one of my favorites, thanks.”

“Is there pie you don’t like?”

“Honestly, not too fond of the cream pies, doesn’t seem right, like not really pie, y’know?”

“I guess, not too fond of those myself. You uhm, wouldn’t want to skip the afternoon’s painting and come along?”

“Wouldn’t that distract you from your task?”

Now Amy couldn’t help her smile “Probably.”

“Probably?”

“Yes, probably Finn Cotter, I’m not wholly enamored by you yet.”

“Yet is good, I’ll take yet.”

“Ready for the pie?”

“Yup.” He answered shoving his garbage into the paper bag they were packed in.

Finn took the time to fill their coffees while Amy packed away the garbage and pulled out the two slices of pie.

“I really think I’d feel more comfortable getting most of this painting done and ready for the next step. You and I both know things can come up that we have to deal with and right now I’m open for the afternoon.”

“No, I get it and you’re right.”

“Besides, we’ll get back and you’ll have to go fetch Lyndy and get her settled and I won’t want to paint after being out riding for a couple of hours, this is better.”

“Later?”

“How about you, me and Lyndy meet up later and grab dinner together?”

“I’d have to check back at Heartland but I can’t imagine Lyndy wouldn’t love the idea.”

“I’ll just need to head home, shower and change out of these coveralls. I’ll let you know when I’m heading out and you let me know when you’re leaving the center later.”

“Sounds like a deal though I may stop up if I have time.”

“That would be a nice surprise.”

Amy smiled as she stood and grabbed the empty bags and Finn followed her inside to the big garbage can in the kitchen. She turned into his arms and he pulled her close as he wrapped them around her waist.

“Hey, do I know you?”

Finn smiled and leaned over catching her lips which turned into a deeper kiss as Amy wrapped her arms around him.

“Are you two necking in my kitchen?” Renata asked coming in through the mud room entrance which let to the door to the back utility porch.

“Sorry Renata.” Amy said shifting to stand sided by side with Finn.

The older woman smiled “Nothing to be sorry about Amy, have you both eaten?”

“Amy brought lunch and we ate on the porch.”

“They all voted on pizza for lunch and Clint obliged them, Chicken and rice for dinner if either of you are interested.”

“We were just discussing dinner out with Lyndy but thanks anyway.” Amy answered.

“Just mind that there will always be enough for you three to join us.”

“One of the many things I’ll be looking forward to Renata, less than a month to go I’d say.”

“I guess you’re off to ride with them.” She said nodding to the outside and meaning the kids.

“I am and Finn here’s getting back to painting.”

“And how’s that all coming Finn?”

“Second coats in the kitchen, and the two bathrooms today, touch ups tomorrow and then the craftsman come in for a few days for cabinets, fixtures and hook ups. Hopefully we can finish painting the rest over the weekend. After that the furniture will trickle in.”

“Well if you need me to look out for something or any help just let me know.”

Amy nodded “We sure will Renata, thanks.”

“No need, I figure my real job is just that, to be where I’m needed.”

“Just like a mom.”

“Lot of kids around here to not have a mom.”

“Then you’re perfect Renata, don’t change.”

“I’m too old to change Amy, now you two get on so I can get my work done.”

Finn walked Amy out onto the porch and turned her to face him one last time before they went their separate ways for the afternoon.

“You be careful.”

“I’m always careful Finn, I’ll see you later. Love you.”

“I love you too Amy.” He said grabbing one last kiss before watching her head down the stairs and catch her backwards wave.

Hours later while rinsing the painting supplies at the tub in the small bathroom he heard Lyndy’s attempt to sneak up the stairs and he smiled.

“Surprise!!”

“Hey Lyndy, I didn’t expect you.”

“Momma was late and was waiting at the bus stop with her truck and I asked. Is my room painted?”

“Sorry sweetheart.” Finn started while standing and grabbing a towel to dry his hands. “Only the kitchen, this bathroom and the one in Momma’s room. Go look.”

Amy came up while Lyndy was scooting from room to room and Finn leaned over for a kiss. “So this was not an option I recall from before.”

Yeah, I ended up running late and once we were in the truck and discussed dinner she wanted to personally make her request. Lyndy come tell Finn where you want to go.”

“The Chinese restaurant.”

He glanced past her for a second where he saw Amy nod yes and without missing a beat “That’s a wonderful idea Lyndy, Chinese it is.”

“Yay!!” She cried out smiling “Is my room still white?”

“White and taped, I’m not sure anyone’s even been in there since we left it. How about you and me painting your room first thing Saturday morning?”

“I’d like that.”

“Then we’ll make it happen.” Then he said looking over to Amy. “Now, plans for tonight?”

“We have to go back to Heartland, Lyndy’s got some homework, I should check the horses and we need to wash and change.”

“How about I just pick you two up at 6:00?”

“That would be great, OK with you Lyndy?”

Lyndy smiled and nodded “Bye Finn.”

“Goodbye sweetheart, I’ll see you later.”

He leaned over and kissed Amy and then watched them head down the stairs before heading back in and finishing his cleanup in the tub.

Just before 6 Finn pulled up and parked next to Jack’s truck. He noted the line of vehicles and realized that it was a full house.

Coming in he found Lisa, Jessica and Lou each getting a different dinner task ready. Lisa at the stove, Jess at the table cutting a salad and Lou clearing out whatever dishes were in the sink.

“Good evening Finn, how’s the apartment coming?”

“On schedule Jessica, the kitchen and both bathrooms are ready for cabinets, appliances and fixtures. By Friday afternoon all those will be ready and we can paint the rest over the weekend.”

“Hey.” Amy said coming into the kitchen and immediately leaning up to kiss Finn. “Salmon for dinner here and Katie’s not the biggest fan, mind if she tags along?”

Finn shrugged “Nope, love to have her, maybe we can arrange another date night if you’re game.”

“Great, Lyndy, Katie lets hit the road. And to you,” She said facing Finn again “I loved our date but I can’t imagine how much that set you back, something local and easy this time, how about Maggie’s and a movie maybe?”

“Something local and simple then, I’ll check around.”

“Ready!!” Lyndy announced having pulled on her boots and grabbed her hat. Katie was already wearing her runners.

Amy smiled “Are we all ready?” She asked prompting the kids to say their goodbyes and head out onto the porch followed by her and Finn.

“My truck?” Amy asked, “it has Lyndy’s booster.”

“I picked one up so we don’t have to bother.”

“You didn’t have to do that but I appreciate it.”

“I saw one at a porch sale, same model as yours and it was pretty cheap.”

Leaving the truck back at Heartland after dinner, having arranged Katie as a babysitter for the following weekend, she also volunteered to get Lyndy ready for bed so that Amy and Finn could have some alone time on the porch, Katie grabbed the doggie bag for the fridge and followed Lyndy inside.

The couple settled into their normal spots on the porch. On the bench, their hats to their sides, Finn’s arm around Amy and her leaning against him.

“What’s your schedule for tomorrow?”

“Get Lyndy off to school, check the horses and work my new client horse some. That’ll determine whether to bring him to the center or not. I’m not sure I want any really problematic animals there and near the kids. Either way I’ll probably have lunch with the group and spend the afternoon. Lisa and Jessica said they’ll be here for Lyndy when she gets off the bus. You?”

“I have two clients in the morning and then I want to check the apartment, make sure there aren’t any spots to touch up and then it’s teaching at the center. Maybe I’ll join you for lunch. If it’s easier for you, you can ride that horse over and I’ll drop you home after.”

“Works for me, I’ll text to let you know either way, I’d better get in and say goodnight to Lyndy. Kiss?”

Finn leaned forward and they both shifted their bodies to where they could wrap their arms around each other. Their kiss was short but sweet and was followed by Amy laying her head against his chest and getting a last kiss on her head.

[keef-a-corn]

Dat’s right, People, it’s time for ‘Keef watches TFP and you just get the notes!’

This is for season 1, episode 23: One Shall Fall

Please reblog or comment on this with your thoughts! I really want to know what your opinion of the episode was!

I write down the timestamps, but I watch Transformers Prime on Stan (an Australian streaming service) so they may be slightly off.

ALSO! I try my best to note points for every character, but tend to get a little caught up by Bee (although I think I do a pretty good job with the notes regardless) so do be warned.

Some of the notes for One Shall Fall was formed from an incredible fanfic I’ve read (I’ll link it at the bottom! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND READING IT IF YOU LOVE BEE.) so if you think I‘ve gone insane, and a little off track, you're probably right.

~~~~Transition~~~~

00:03 - does ‘One Shall Fall’ really started with ‘and it was written in the covenant of Primus’? It’s very jarring.

00:11 - perpetual: never ending or changing.

Culminate: reach a climax or point of highest development. [or: reach or be at the meridian.]

00:27 - why is this shot so pretty?

00:38 - The angle of the shot makes Optimus look like a child trying to hid behind a blanket.

00:42 - they were in sync.

00:54 - so why not mention it a little earlier?

01:13 - *throws to Optimus fans* FEAST!

01:34 - My dude has perfect timing.

01:43 - Knockout has a growth mindset.

01:57 - he must constantly be seeing the future then, huh?

~intro~

03:03 - It’s funny to see that every other post give so much more context and whoever uploaded this was just like ‘location, date and time, literally anything else? Nah.. who needs that!’ + Bee can’t even hide when in a alt form.

03:12 - amazing how he can see that far and from that angle.

03:25 - wow! It changed the text and everything!

03:26 - HE’S SO CUTE IMMA DIE

03:31 - he looks so insecure ;0;

03:37 - Best interaction to ever exist.

03:40 - as was established by the statement ‘Prime’s don’t party’.

03:44 - foreshadowing.

03:49 - the way he specifically looks at Arcee like she’s made that claim before.

03:53 - Foreshadowing. + Optimus shaking his hips slightly while Ratchet talks about him is highly amusing.

04:09 - a little bicth. Got it.

04:11 - Yes. That’s true. No one said he was. Ratchet said Optimus used to be like Jack.

04:16 - My captions said ‘Meg’ instead of MECH

04:25 - Soundwave, the sneaky lil’ con.

04:38 - Not the captions saying ‘Cap’ instead of ‘Cat’

04:30 - No need for the description. They all know what Soundwave looks like.

04:36 - Raf looks like their child.

04:40 - what is the purpose of the ‘Top Secret’ part?

04:51 - Knockout bowing and Soundwave, in the same shot? It must be Christmas.

04:55 - ‘What Soundwave said—‘ that’s just cruel wording.

05:11 - she is so short

05:15 - this short was brought to you by ✨fade transition✨

05:16 - Collecting all the scenery shots.

05:35 - Damn, Prime getting tense.

06:05 - the shot makes them look like they’re throwing lightsabers.

07:09 - ain’t Megatron lucky that was Bee.

07:12 - how does he have such bad aim?

07:24 - let us be clear.. that is horrifying.

07:42 - that looked cool

07:53 - Someone was a theatre kid.

08:00 - folly: lack of good sense

08:02 - Fruition: the realization or fulfilment of a plan or project. + A stressed Optimus as a walking Thesaurus.

08:13 - I think Megatron needs to reevaluate who is true enemy is. Optimus or Bumblebee? Because I think, at this moment, he’s got more reason to want Bee dead than Optimus.

08:21 - O0O

08:23 - She’s calling out to get a response from him, but it also looks like she’s just stating who it is.

08:32 - Megatron admits he was trying to kill Bee but failed. How the frag do you fail like that then try to seem so smug? Although ‘and’ implies that he did inflict harm onto Bumblebee. Honestly, wouldn’t even be surprised if this episode was secretly going to have plot B involve Bumblebee actually having gotten hurt, but it was scrapped.

08:35 - that rattling sound was a very good choice.

08:37 - WHY NOT THOUGH?? What is the harm in letting Bee try to kill Megatron? + that’s the way a dog acts when you’re trying to stop them from barking.

08:44 - Bee was still fighting against Bulkhead, how could he not have gotten free? Granted, there isn’t much experience to go off with how strong Bee is when he’s angry, but it would be a safe assumption that Bulkhead’s weak grip on Bee’s shoulder’s would’ve been ineffective in restraining him.

08:47 - Doesn’t Optimus say if someone’s been hurt?

08:57 - no, why did they give Bumblebee the same personality as my dogs? He forgot to be angry for a second, before turning around

08:59 - Arcee looks like a mother.

09:00 - As Arcee pushes Bee to turn around, you can see that he’s eyes go back to normal and he’s looking all innocent.

09:01 - but then he quickly arches his eyes rows. His angry, but he’s not gonna murder anyone.

09:02 - then she puts her hand on his back and right before they fade out, he’s leaning forward, most likely to check Raf. (It happens too quickly for any screenshots)

09:39 - why would Bee have come up from beside Arcee?

09:41 - ‘into’ implies that it’s in a seperate room.

09:46 - How did they do that so quickly?

10:08 - Oh cheez… Ratchet, you needed that-

10:09 - as soon as Ratchet started freaking out is when Bee expressed being upset.

10:10 - to note is that Bee curled up his hand, which is what Optimus does whenever he’s not totally calm.

10:17 - Was about to point out that Ratchet just called Raf weak, until I realised that it’s what Megatron was doing. Megatron deemed Bumblebee the weakest of the autobots, which is why he attacked him, but wasn’t bothered by Bee not having suffered because he still harmed someone weaker therefore still fulfilling the prophecy.

10:46 - heavily animated Megatron.

10:55 - his eyes do be purple… and lined up correctly.

11:20 - they’ve become aware.

11:27 - I’m embarrassed to say I thought that was a transformer at first.

11:35 - I mean.. maybe??

11:39 - How would June intend to stabilise him if she doesn’t know the severity of it.

11:56 - this would be a more effective speak if we haven’t seen her act super recklessly in honour of Tailgate and Cliff.

12:01 - AIN’T THAT RICH! + Seriously though, whatever he had said was probably a threat and he punched a wall, expressing emotions when they become overwhelming is a way to manage emotions and keep them in check. It was better he yell and do repairable damage than suppress it and let it build up over time until it becomes too overwhelming and he hurts someone.

12:37 - Ya know, Ratchet could’ve used that free time to check on Bee. May have given him a hint to work out what they could do to help Raf, or, at least, have kept both of them occupied for a bit.

12:39 - damn.. not the Cybertronian Pride.

12:46 - because he didn’t actually need to. As much as they’re taking care of the children, outside of surface level health (like getting cuts/scratches), the health of the children is not the bots’ responsibilities.

12:48 - Optimus said two lines and totally obliterated Arcee’s trash calming down speech.

12:51 - Ratchet acting all calm while Bee’s at the back having a breakdown so intense that he needs to squat.

13:07 - one of the best deliveries ever.

13:13 - For all purposes Optimus could be talking about literally any other thing Megatron has chosen to do. However, I chose to believe that he’s specifically talking about going after Bumblebee./hj

13:22 - Thesaurus Prime.

13:34 - woo!

13:54 - His willing to spare those willing to be spared.

14:03 - I think there’s a volcano.

14:05 - heh, it farted

14:10 - translation: I dreamt about that!

14:46 - the way he said ‘Soundwave’ more relaxed and twinge of boredom is hilarious.

15:11 - How does she not understand that he is saying the doctors cannot help him?!

15:15 - …………..

If that's true, then why wouldn't he have suspected that it wasn't energon when Bee was showing no signs of being affected by an energon blast.

15:23 - I refuse to believe that Bee wouldn’t have been affected by the dark Energon too. There is no way that Megatron would have a type of energon and use it to fight the Autobots if it does not hurt them. Megatron would have had no reason to believe that Bumblebee was hurt if he knew that dark Energon had no effect on bots. The plot hole that is Bee not being affected by the energon could’ve been avoided had Bee pulled over, let Raf out, then Megatron attack, completely missing Bee, but hitting Raf.

15:49 - GOT ‘EMMM

15:52 -it’s the intro

16:17 -that’s a metaphor for Optimus fighting Megatron.

16:18 - that looks so dumb.

16:50 - Megatron’s trying to get into Optimus’s head.

16:56 - wise words, Prime. + If I had a dollar for every time a bot didn’t fall victim to the decepticon trick, I’d have two dollars. It’s not a lot and shockingly so.

17:04 - Because Optimus isn’t exactly winning, Raf is dying.

17:07 - Mmm but like how isn’t Bee’s energon tainted? Don’t they have energon to spare?

17:08 - He looked worried until he looked at Ratchet. Bee’s emotional restraint comes from Ratchet in this episode.

17:55 - I’M GONNA CRY, THAT’S THE CUTEST SOUND.

19:33 -that’s what ya gotta leave your monologue for after the stab.

19:41 - she’s moving so much.

19:43 - Bee’s oblivious to the conversation and I love that.

19:46 - Ratchet’s heavily animated too.

20:05 - he broke the sword, tf dude??

20:07 - Didn’t even realise that he stabbed Optimus with apart of the sword.

21:20 - the prophecy shot!

———————

So that was One Shall Fall.

It’s a good episode, don’t get me wrong, but that plot hole in the B plot is annoying and makes no sense. If normal energon hurts a bot, dark energon would too. As I said, they should’ve had Raf already out of the car, then Megatron misses Bumblebee, but hits Raf. Instead he hit Bumblebee directly. No way could the energon have gone directly to Raf and not have effected Bee. (This is the fox I mentioned: Not The Only One by Princess Loveless)

As for the A plot, it certainly carries the episode and is a lot more action packed. Towards the end it became more seperate to the B plot, but contrasts a fair bit, so they feel like two different episodes, rather than just the one with a distinct A and B plot.

Honestly I dunno if I’d watch it in a select binge. In a general binge? Absolutely!

[shrinkthisviolet]

For the fandom ask: Revenge?

Character I first fell in love with:

Emily Thorne, as cliché as it sounds to love the MC 😅 I just love a good anti-hero, what can I say

Character I never expected to love as much as I do now:

Nolan Ross! I figured he’d rub me the wrong way but honestly? Love the guy and his friendship with Emily. Can't wait to see more of him in the rest of the show 💞

Also Amanda! I love her so much, can’t wait to see more of her, I especially love her dynamic with Emily

Character everyone loves but I don’t:

Honestly idk the popular consensus about these characters 😅 ig Tyler? Does anyone like him, because I never did

Character I love but everyone else hates:

Again, idk the popular consensus about anyone, but...do people dislike Declan and Charlotte? I like them both, but they’re characters I can imagine the fandom hating

Character I used to love but don’t any longer:

Probably a bit too early to say 😅 but for now, ig Ashley? I don’t hate her, it’s just that her writing seems very all over the place in one season alone. First she’s Emily’s bestie, then it turns out she’s super ambitious (which is fine, she always had some to begin with, but they make her out to be practically conniving by mid-season out of nowhere, like on Tyler's level, which is nuts), then Ashley starts secretly hating Emily and acting like she was ever condescending to her, which is not true—Emily is condescending to other people, sure, but never to Ashley.

Not to mention the Emily/Ashley friendship falls off as the Emily/Nolan friendship takes off, which is a shame. Does it come back in later seasons? I miss it, honestly—it feels like a stupid decision to ruin Ashley and that friendship just for a brief romance (Ashley/Tyler) that didn’t even end well at all

Character I would kiss:

No fictional crushes but for platonic cuddles/hugs...Jack Porter 🥰

Character I want to slap:

Conrad Grayson. Repeatedly. Maybe it’ll kill him if I’m lucky ✋

A pairing I love:

Ooh so I love Emily/Daniel, but I also really love Emily/Daniel/Jack 🥰 mid-season had the OT3 vibes at their peak, and even near the end of the season with the trial storyline, when Daniel was so paranoid he thought Emily was cheating on him with Jack (who was just coming to check on her and ask about Daniel too)...I was like “none of this would be an issue if you were all together, just saying ✋”

A pairing I hate:

Tyler/Ashley. I didn’t mind it when it was a thing, though ofc it was the start of Ashley being abruptly re-characterized...and ofc Tyler had some serious issues

fandom ask game!