#they’re literally husbands

[labyrinthhofmymind]

just thinking about that scene in order of the phoenix where harry gets to see sirius after spending summer all alone and they’re just hugging and remus is leaning against the door frame smiling like an idiot and definitely thinking about how in another life him and sirius could have raised harry with james and lily and everything would have been ok-

[danopdf]

[certifiablyinsanez]

It’s so cute when people think Crowley is suave and sexy and cool. Like, only under the threat of destruction by Satan himself can make this demon say ‘fuck’ apparently. He has a corny ass voicemail. Don’t give him access to a crystal ball and a fez if you don’t want him to start acting goofy. 20% of his personality is being a Plant Mom. The other 80% is being a Wine Aunt. She cosplays Mary Poppins just cuz. She manages to stay “up to style” and is very bad at it somehow. 90% of his existence can be summarized as “Silly Simp”.

[kingkatsuki]

When neither of you have a condom but he promises to pull out, swears he can do it and tries so fucking hard to be a man of his word— and he is. Clinging to that final piece of resolve as he fights the allure of your warm, wet cunt. Moving his hips back as he begins to pull his slick-soaked cock from your ruined hole, ready to fist himself and spill his cum all over you.

But you make every ounce of his resolve crumble all around him when you tighten your thighs around his hips, lock your ankles behind his back, giving him no choice but to drain his balls and fill you with everything he’s got to give.

[twilightcitysky]

Hypothesis: Aziraphale HATES that Crowley is living in his car.

Supporting evidence:

The very first thing we see him do in the present is stop Maggie from moving out and making sure she feels welcome to stay as long as she likes.

He clearly knows Crowley’s unhappy before anything happens in the plot: “Does it calm you down?”. And also clearly feels helpless about it. Enter the conspicuous Eccles cakes: Aziraphale’s offer, which is rejected.

Crowley’s obviously, for all his hedging, spending a lot of time at the bookshop— so much that he has his own glasses perch and feels immediately comfortable removing them. See also: “Technically my bookshop but we both get plenty of use out of it”, “Why don’t you wait inside? You like waiting inside���.

It’s Crowley who immediately shoves the box of plants into Aziraphale’s arms after Aziraphale returns from Scotland.

Speaking of Scotland, why wouldn’t Aziraphale take the train? Why insist on driving the Bentley? Is it perhaps because he wants to get Crowley and his plants into the shop, and thinks if he creates a situation where Crowley has to stay there, maybe he won’t immediately leave again?

He’s got an empty bedroom and an apparently pathological need to make the person staying there very comfortable, creating cute little customized souvenirs like he’s an Air B&B host (displacement!).

He immediately jumps to having Gabriel stay with him— he didn’t have to. Arguably, both Gabriel and Aziraphale would be safer if Gabe stayed elsewhere.

That’s what I’ve got for now but I’m sure there’s more. Throughout the show, watch what Aziraphale gives to others and does for others, and it’ll tell you what he wants to do for Crowley. He’s living so deeply in displacement in makes him come across as manic and brittle.

(What probably happened is Aziraphale offered the spare bedroom and Crowley, who unconsciously didn’t want to be his roommate or sleep in a single bed with Aziraphale right downstairs because how could the poor lovesick boy cope with that, told him he wasn’t a “good deed” for Aziraphale to do and stormed off.)

Conclusion: Aziraphale asked Crowley to stay at his place, immediately and probably repeatedly. They had a row about it, and Crowley refused, and to this day Aziraphale doesn’t understand why.

And it hurts him.

[cenpede]

Alexa, play Reunited by Peaches & Herb

[demonir]

I present to you…. Azirasnail

Or Snailaphale whichever you like best

Did you know typically snails can be whatever gender they want? I’m just starting an Aziraphale snail agenda don’t mind me

Don’t think I forgot about Crowley either, I’m very happy to tell you that there is a type of snail commonly known as “fire snail” that very much resembles our beloved demon due to its pitch black coloration and bright red accents!

I am very passionate about snails, if you couldn’t tell

[yaralulu]

so glad i was reminded of this scene so i could be insufferable about it

[the-woman-upstairs]

When you’re a hot mean girl whose current partner can’t get over their ex and you come up with a batshit insane plan to manipulate everyone so you’ll finally get everything you want which definitely doesn’t come back to bite you in the ass at all:

[actualori]

LILAC HUSBANDS PROPAGANDA!!!

VOTE JAUSAGE !!!

PLEASE

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

they’re buffoons actually. like so stupid. absolute clowns. sillybillies even.

[nekromant1k]

space husbands <3

[midnightballet]

the holy trinity of sad and weird FBI agents investigating sad and weird things

[crowdemoninkinkyboots]

sebastian letting his guard down and falling asleep and dreaming of ciel in this essay i will—*shot*

[thinking-destiel-thoughts]

Chilled @ Ze and Ze @ Chilled when they’re playing Monopoly as a married couple and the other one makes a purchase or trade that was NOT authorized by the spouse

[steddiefication]

when steve and robin get to their late 20s/early 30s they go into a lavender marriage with each other sorry i don’t make the rules