#they’re hyper competent

[mosscreeperarchived]

The reason we never got an episode where Pidge and Keith paired off for a mission is because that episode would last 5 minutes max.

[sthilarions]

Charles tilts back against the wall, panting breaths his ghostly body doesn’t need, a hand pressed against Edwin’s chest holding Edwin against the brick next to him. He leans to the side, darting a look around the corner, then jerks back hard enough to knock him into Edwin’s side.

“How does it look?”

“Not great, I’m gonna be honest.”

“Hmm.”

Edwin’s brows are furrowed, he’s glaring at the ground, and Charles recognizes the signs of his brain over-heating, and then he remembers something from about a decade ago.

“What if - what about the Silver and Steel Technique, from the Case of the Bumbling Brownie?”

Edwin’s head whips up. “No.”

“You said yourself, it’s easily confused. We just need to dazzle it a little, long enough to get across to the summoning circle. It’s our best play, mate.”

“Absolutely not.”

Charles grins at Edwin, whose eyes widen, and he dodges back right as Edwin grabs for him, right into full sight of the monster.

Charles looks twenty feet up at the monster, then back at Edwin, then back at the monster, and raises his hands high.

“Let’s do the fork in the garbage disposal!”

Edwin lets out what Charles is fairly certain is a string of very foul curses in Aramaic but before the monster can lunge, Edwin’s at Charles’s side, matching Charles’s pose, arms in the air, hands waving, hips swaying back and forth, feet hopping, body spinning.

“Ding ding ding da-ding ding da-ding ding!”

“Ding ding ding da-ding ding da-ding ding!”

[thatmooncake]

Sun and Moon can be good at their jobs but let’s appreciate they can both be bad at their jobs too. They’re quirky like that, let’s let them have this!

[gemstarstarlight]

I’m so sorry to say this Jack but your ex-wife is so out of your league it’s not even funny. I had to pause the video to freak out every time Lucy Santangelo did something cool.

[quibbs126]

One thing I’ve been thinking about for the past couple days, but something I’m not the biggest fan of with Kingdom is how the majority of the Cookies of Darkness are played more for jokes than they are for serious. And thus in doing so, the CoD itself doesn’t feel like that much of a threat

Like yeah, I like seeing stuff with the CoD just doing silly stuff, and I don’t need them to be super dark and serious 100% of the time, but like, of the Cookies of Darkness, the only characters that are consistently treated like an actual threat are Dark Enchantress Cookie and Pomegranate Cookie, though even then sometimes she’s part of the gag. And sure, some of the characters in the main story may be treated like a threat, like Red Velvet (despite his one appearance) and Affogato, but then also you’ll have them in a boy band or chilling at the rock festival, totally incognito

And again, it’s not that I don’t enjoy this stuff, but it’s just, how am I supposed to take the Cookies of Darkness as a serious threat when you’re putting them in boy bands and school AUs? Especially when more often than not, it’s the jokey route they use with them?

It’s part of the reason I don’t really see why we need all these Legendaries and Dragons and armies to fight Dark Enchantress, because 80% of the CoD are a bunch of silly little guys. I know realistically DE is powerful and has her Cake Army, hence why they need all that power, but that impression that they’re actually a threat doesn’t typically come to mind for me. But maybe that’s a me thing

And like, honestly I’d say Ovenbreak does it better when it comes to having the CoD seem like a threat. Sure I haven’t seen every event with them involved and I know they only show up like, once in a blue moon, but they usually cause actual problems, and if anything the fact that we see them so little makes them feel more significant, and like Dark Enchantress is more of a looming threat

I dunno, that’s just how I feel

[dark-elf-writes]

How are the Turks handling Cloud's everything in the leaf house au?

At first when Cissnei comes back to report someone new hanging around Aerith they were skeptical. Particularly when she told them with something between surprise and concern that he had seen her watching them.

(Cissnei is no slouch when it comes to stealth. If she didn’t want to be seen nothing short of a fellow Turk or SOLDIER should have been able to clock her.)

Reno laughed, told her she’s getting rusty, and was ordered to watch Aerith next.

He gets spotted too.

It becomes a bit of a game between them, seeing if any of them can be skipped over by those eyes. Yet without fail no matter who is sent, no matter what the blond is doing, they are spotted at least once. It would be more concerning if Cloud had any real interest in doing anything other than scowling at them while Aerith loaded a basket on his arm with flowers and didn’t almost always have at least one kid at his heels.

Then Tseng gets caught in an ambush between sectors five and six and is down to his last magazine when a blond blur leaps from the shadows and starts taking out the goons and monsters without hesitation.

Even when the sword, rusted and chipped as it shatters in his hands Cloud doesn’t stop as if breaking swords in the middle of battle was normal for him. (If Rude and Shotgun were to be believed it was.)

Tseng keeps shooting until his gun clicks is empty, covering the man his Turks had written off as ‘weird but mostly harmless’ as he cuts a path of distraction with only a broken sword and what looks like shards of materia set in several earrings.

It’s not until the dust settles and the blond is scowling down at his newly broken sword like it personally offended him that Tseng asks.

“Why?”

Blue eyes, brighter than they should be in the gloom but still dimmer than a Soldiers and without the glassy distance of an addict, blink. “They were going to kill you.” He says simply, like that answers everything.

Tseng sees it then, the loyalty this man commands, how he wins it from nearly every corner and gives it back just as readily. It’s intoxicating and alien to see in someone not from his department.

(Shinra would claim that Turks were only ever loyal to the company. In truth the only thing a Turk was ever loyal to were their fellow Turks.)

Cloud doesn’t know what to make of the neatly wrapped box waiting for him in the church the next day, nor does he know what to make of Aerith’s incredibly amused smile as he looks between the sword (far nicer than any of the rusted and broken things that he’s been able to scavenge from the scrap but not so nice that it would paint a target on his back) and her in stunned silence. He really doesn’t know what to make of the job offer Tseng brings him the next day.

He turns down the job, keeps the sword, and pretends like he doesn’t see another Turk giving him the thumbs up out of the corner of his eye when he asks how Tseng is healing.

There’s two betting pools: one for when Cloud (knowingly) lets Tseng take him on a date and the other for when Cloud takes the job offer. As far as the Turks are concerned he’s already one of them, it’s just a waiting game to make it official.

[superbat-lmao]

Absolutely wild to me that all of Bruce’s kids spent their childhoods training/vigilantes while Bruce just went to school.

If there was any sort of de-aging or time travel hijinks, you get a completely different tone when it’s Bruce suffering the effects.

Because how do you explain to a kid that lives in a world without superheroes, that he will be the one to introduce that concept to the world at large? How do you explain that you fight crime and you’re not a cop?

Any of the Batkids would understand a vigilante talking to them if they were a kid. Tim gets de-aged, meets Nightwing, and understands what that means in the larger social/global context of the world. Bruce would just blank stare at them.

De-aged Dick Grayson could still fight crime if he was hit in the middle of a fight. De-aged Bruce Wayne would have a panic attack.

The hyper-competence Bruce displays comes from the effort he put in after reaching adulthood. The competence his kids display comes from having things ingrained in you during childhood. If you compared 18 year old Dick Grayson’s skills vs 18 year old Bruce Wayne, who would win? How would any of them fair against each other at the same age, battle royale style?

Like yes, Bruce has more experience than them since he’s older, but that’s a crazy learning curve to be on when one of the people invented the thing you’re doing.

Idk I just keep picturing baby!Bruce being approached by vigilantes and having no context for what that is and not believing them that superheroes are real. It would be like seeing someone approach you and say they’re the Easter Bunny and you have to trust them because in the future you become Santa Claus.

[frownyalfred]

If I ever master plane/flying lingo I’m 100% writing the Batlantern fic where Bruce and Hal believe they’re completely opposite kinds of people until they both get into the same cockpit of a plane during a mission and realize they’re absurdly compatible when it comes to copiloting because they’re both so anal retentive about flying, hyper competent at said flying, and also have the same tolerance for risk and daring maneuvers.

[otaku553]

Ok so I have been stewing this crossover au in my brain nonstop for the past few days and. I am nothing if not committed to the bit, so. Volume cover redraws :)

Here are the originals:

If you want to read more about my one piece spy x family crossover, keep reading!

So the idea is simple! Crossover reincarnation au where ASL is reborn in Spy x Family. They’re each born separately and none of them are born with the same names as their previous lives, and with no way of finding each other, they each find their own thing to do in the world.

Sabo, too used to the dangers of being a spy, eventually finds a cause to devote himself to again, in preventing war from engulfing the country he was reborn in. Ace, drawn to fire as he was in his previous life, used arson as a means to rob rich people for sustenance and survival, and is eventually scouted and hired by Garden as a fire specialist and assassin. And Luffy, though born in perhaps the poorest condition, grows up happily and takes whatever part time jobs he wants to do.

The thing about Sabo is that, as much as he seems like a young man of good repute and high standing within society, everyone in WISE knows that he is a massive nuisance. Nobody knew in the beginning how a child less than half the age of most of their veteran agents could have the same skills and knowledge in their profession. Sabo was— and still is— hyper competent, and by the time WISE figured out just how much of a menace to society he was, it was too late.

Ace forgot for the first few years of his new life that he wasn’t made of fire, and consequently, received multiple accidental burns. This did not deter him, however, from growing up to be a very skilled arsonist, well-practiced in every which way to start a dumpster fire or house fire. As a teenage he would use this often to draw attention as he robbed rich people blind. When he was caught, he was given an ultimatum by Garden: join them and receive payment for starting fires and causing problems under contract, or face the government and authorities for his crimes. Begrudgingly, he joined Garden, but eventually comes to appreciate that he can make substantial money in his element.

Luffy is Luffy. No telepathy or experimentation, no fancy schools, no gimmicks or secret identities. But he has still lived an extremely colorful life in this world, full of fascinating and kind individuals who have helped him grow up healthy and relatively happy. He goes where he is free, and he takes whatever part time jobs he wants in order to make the minimum he needs to survive.

Ace and Sabo find each other first, in their late teens, and neither of them realize that the other remembers their previous life, but both refuse to separate. (Sabo thinks Ace doesn’t remember, because Ace didn’t recognize him. Ace never saw Sabo grow up past 10, however, so he doesn’t recognize older Sabo immediately. By the time he does realize who exactly Sabo is, Sabo has backtracked and pretends to know Ace from a dream, or from somewhere else.)

Sabo’s attachment to Ace, predictably, causes problems between Sabo and WISE, but by then, Sabo is indispensable to the organization, and they make an exception for Sabo to be able to remain with Ace, so long as Ace never finds out what Sabo’s actual job is. Ace, on the other hand, hides his job because he doesn’t want his brother, who he has just found and who does not know Ace well enough yet, to know that he makes a living from killing people.

And they find Luffy sometime afterwards, prior to the beginning of the Spy x Family canon. Luffy figures out, not long after moving in with his brothers, both of his brothers’ secret occupations and the fact that both of them remember their past memories. He thinks it is common knowledge, however, and so he never brings it up.

[raleighrador]

It’s obviously an over generalisation but broadly “pro Jedi” fics which also overlap extensively with “anti Anakin” are always so fascinating to me.

Typically they include a few commonalities:

1) Jedi are wholesome and well adjusted, including extensive mental health support and actually they’re totally chilled about relationships (romantic or familial) outside the order so long as you’re “normal” about it

2) Jedi are hyper competent at basically everything

Obi-Wan is of course the exemplar of both of those things

3) Anakin is definitively neither of those things. He’s murderous and angry and unbalanced and wildly incompetent. He’s losing fights, getting captured, messing up negotiations etc left and right.

We’re clearly often intended to conclude “and hence Anakin sucks” but what I’m always struck by is “why?”

If the Jedi and Obi-Wan specifically are the way these authors intend, why is Anakin the way he is?

The answer these fics imply is “evil is an essential component of character at birth” which is boring, gross, and very badly misunderstands the central thesis of Star Wars.

The answer I reach instead - no matter what the authors intend - is that the Jedi clearly aren’t anywhere near as competent and wholesome as you are characterising them to be. There is an inherent tension in the text between what you TELL me about the Jedi and what you SHOW me about the Jedi.

This is only exacerbated in fics where for whatever reason Anakin isn’t actually the Chosen One.

Because the canon answer why Anakin gets away with being Anakin is because he’s the best of the best and the council actually go pretty far out their way to not alienate him, in their own way.

i.e. instead of helping him they just tolerate his tantrums.

But if he isn’t competent and he isn’t the Chosen One…

It doesn’t seem very competent or wholesome to just let a random murder Jedi run around with no consequences.

It’s just a bit weird and nepotistic.

[deadsetobsessions]

Listen, I know it’s not my usual thing, but I just re-read Dark Matter by mysterycyclone (iconic, so good, incredible, I’ve reread this at least ten times) and this newer work, Help Me, I Don’t Feel Like Myself Anymore by Astra_Nova_Kat (it’s off to a really good and fleshed out, very long start- it’s like 20k for the first chapter omg).

I just. Love?? Them??? They’re both, urg, so good. The writing style, the way the story moves, the natural progression of plot and their usage of tropes are so well done that rarely does it feel awkward. Amazing. Anyways, they inspired me to put my two cents into the proverbial offering hat and while this might not ever be a realized fanfic, here it is? This will have multiple parts.

Uh, I’m basing Peter’s personality off of the really tired millennial energy Tobey Maguire gives, the awkward but well meaning disaster vibes of Andrew Garfield, and the sassy acrobatic chaos gremlin of Tom Holland. All kind of mushed together with the hyper competence and maturity of both the PS4 spidey and pretty much most spider people. He’s 22, or something but that doesn’t really matter?? Background doesn’t really matter because I’m basically making my own spider-verse. Spider… past? Eh. New Peter!

Spider in Gotham AU- Pt.1

[Pt.2]

——

Spider-Man swung through the skyscrapers of his city, enjoying the winds and sounds of New York as he kept a sharp eye out for crime.

He remembered doing this without any of the fancy tech his suit had now, when he was dressed in less protective clothing. God, 100% cotton while crime fighting? The spandex was better but god ugly.

His spider-sense blared. Spider-man quickly shot a web to the top of the building, going towards the danger instead of away from it.

He goes in feet first, years of knocking common thugs to legitimate gods to the ground making short work of the people on the roof top. He flips out of the way, dodging a blast of crackling green energy.

“Heyyyy, common robbers! What’s up with shiny lasers, huh? Breaking and entering not doing enough for ya?”

Spider-Man dodges a couple more shots, flipping again to knee a guy in the face, gently. The man goes down in one shot.

“Stay still, you motherfucker!”

“Does that actually work for you guys?? Like I’m down to get killed but, man, I’m not gonna stay still to get downed by some two bit thugs?” Spider-Man kept his words light and mocking, webbing up a laser gun and yanking it out of the woman’s hands. He punches her in the face and knocks her out, using the laser gun like a mildly bulky baton.

“Eat shit, Spider-bitch!”

“Ouch! Oh no, my feelings! You’ve hurt them!” Spider-Man shoots a web at the lady who’d shouted and yanked, before smacking her straight down to the concrete of the rooftop. His hearing picked up two people coming up the stairway and Spider-Man tossed two web bombs, the metal mechanism attached itself to the wall, waiting for their unknowing victims.

Spider-Man ducked and weaved, downing goons as they piled on him while shooting bullets, lasers, and just charging at him with a bat or a crowbar. After eight years of pretty much this exact thing, Spider-Man had gotten the science of breaking up goon dog piles without hurting them too much to an exact measurement. He quipped at them until they got annoyed, which made them sloppy. Spider-Man sighed as another guy came at him with a crow bar and a gun that he was pretty sure was still stuck on safety. He crouched, kicking out their legs and dodging a swipe of a bat where his ribs would have been and webbed the guy to the floor. Yeah, he’ll wrap this up and end patrol. Maybe he still had Mac n’ Cheese at home, or he could stop by Angelo’s for a sub?

Huh. His options for dinner was limited.

“Take this!”

Even without the forewarning of his spidey-sense, Spider-Man would have ducked out of the way regardless.

“Shouting your sneak attacks isn’t actually all that sneaky, you know!” Spider-Man kept his voice cheery and mocking.

“Get him!”

God, why were there so many people trying to break into an insurance company? This definitely doesn’t smell like a regular B&E. With the shit he’s seen in New York, if it smells like a plot, acts like a plot, then it’s probably a villain with a tragic backstory with big, annoying plans.

Great.

Oh, speak of the devil!

“Spider-Man.” His senses blared.

He couldn’t move out of the way fast enough, not without risking the life of the goon he was currently fighting, so Spider-Man took the blast the punched the breath out of his lungs. The wide eyes of the goon made up for some of the pain.

“Ugh!” Spider-Man slammed into an HVAC, denting the metal. His suit, made special polymer blend from Wakanda that he saved for months to get, absorbed some of the shock. Shit, he hoped it didn’t tear. It would be a bitch and a half to dip into the back up stock he had in his hammer space.

The goons left standing quickly rushed him and held him down to face the new boss.

“You’ve been getting on my nerves, Spider.”

“Yeah,” Spider-Man coughed out, letting the two goons think they could hold him down on his knees as he recovered his breath. “I have that effect on people.”

“But you could be an asset, if you’d join me?”

“Uh, I don’t join or sign things without knowing what I’m joining or signing, my guy. My lawyer said so.”

The villain paused, helmeted head cocking to the side.

“You have a lawyer?”

“Yeah. Kind of? He does pro-bono work for the helpless cases. You know, like, a well meaning, crime fighting vigilante?”

“…Does he do cases against insurance companies?”

“Oh man, you too? Dude, this place sucks,” Spider-Man sighed.

“You’ve had trouble too? Then you must see why I’m doing this!”

This was a bit weird, but if there’s anything that brings people together, it’d be corrupt insurance companies. He’s almost tempted to let them break in, just to be extra petty.

“Nah, my neighbor? Sweet old lady. They’re screwing her out of her entire place. I totally get it, man. Hey, if you need a referral, you can tell my lawyer that Spider sent you. He’s real good.”

“How good?” The goons release him and Spider-Man stood up, stretching his limbs.

“Like, Dare Devil good.”

“You know Matt Murdock??”

“Sure do.”

“He… he’ll take on our cases?”

“Dang, all of you?”

“Yes. We can pool enough money to pay him for one or two.”

“Nah, I’m pretty sure he’ll take you guys on for free. But it wouldn’t hurt if you all went to meet him, just so he can decide which one of you has a higher chance to win in court?”

“We will. Uh.” The villain paused sheepishly. Well, not a villain, more like an unfortunately angry and poor decision making citizen. “Sorry about… you know, the blast.”

“It’s cool. I mean,” Spider-Man gestured to the rooftop, the bodies of unconscious people kind of laying around where he knocked them down. “You guys might wanna check on them, yeah? I’ll let you go for now, but if you commit a B&E again, I’ll leave you webbed up for GCPD to find.”

“Got it. Sorry.”

Feeling good about himself, and plotting corporate espionage, Spider-Man went to help pry some people from his webs.

And of course, because Parker Luck kicks in only when Spider-Man felt like life was looking up for himself, Spider-Man’s senses blared once more as he knelt down to pull at some webbing.

“Oh, shit!” He heard, right before a cold blast of something slammed right into his head, knocking him out.

And Spider-Man

F

E

L

L.

——

Larry looked at the the empty space where Spider-Man, the guy who took a hit from his boss’ blaster so he wouldn’t get hurt, used to be.

He twisted.

“Boss, what the fuck?!”

“Shit! That was accident!” Boss pulled herself up from the concrete, where she just ate dirt.

“Where did he go?”

“I don’t know, Larry! That was the experimental warped mode! Crap!” His boss scrambled with the controls, desperately trying to see if the magic gun her magician friend had handed her years ago had a reverse button. It didn’t.

“Why would you bring a test weapon into the field?!”

“I gave you all of my other ones!” She threw up her hands. “Fuck, I feel so bad.”

Larry paled. “Dude, Dare Devil’s gonna kill us.”

“He doesn’t kill!” His boss hesitated. “I think.”

Larry pointed to the empty space. “Yeah? He might start with us. Spidey was a cool guy and you just disappeared him!”

“I know!”

Larry buried his head into his hands and tried not to hate himself for the entire situation.

——

Spider-man woke up, laid flat on the grimy ground of an alleyway.

“Ugh. Just my luck.” He kept his eyes closed for just a beat longer to allow himself time before having to pull his shit together. Why was his voice high? And a bit squeaky? He pulled himself together.

“Okay.” He whispered to himself, before sitting up and taking stock of the situation.

First thing that hit him was that it stunk to high heavens. Gagging, Spider-Man looked to the right and- yeah, that’ll do it. He stood up on wobbly legs to try to move away from the overflowing dumpster.

That’s when the second, more important and decidedly more troublesome, observation hit him.

He’s short. Shorter. And his suit was hanging off of him.

He could tell he still had his normal by now physiology, with the speeding heartbeat and the feeling of super strength. But he’s shorter. With a mounting sense of equal parts dread and resignation, he pulled at the hidden seam by his nape, relying on his both his enhanced senses and spidey-sense to tell if anyone was nearby or looking at him. He pulled the Spider-Man suit off, blankly folding it neatly as he stared dumbly at his hands. They’re small too. Shit. He stumbled to a nearby mud puddle and stared down, seeing his younger face in the contaminated water. Double shit.

He’s starting to loose his composure. He’d gone through a lot of bizarre things over the last eight years. But getting accidentally Detective Conan’ed by a person he just helped was a new low.

The black under layer of his suit, a slash proof and fire resistant polymer Peter had designed himself in MIT’s lab, was in a similar state.

With one hand, Peter Parker numbly rolled up his sleeves and pant hems. Great. Okay. Now what?

Ah. Shoes. He did not want to walk around in his too-big Spider-Man boots. He looked around. Well, there’s the laces of what looked to be like a pair of dumpster shoes. “Yeah, no.”

Shit. Does he still have access to his hammer space?

Peter reached into his pocket, and tried to reach for a pair of normal sneakers. His shoulder slumped as he produced a pair. Fuck yes. He still has access! And shoes! They’re ones he took off of a power line for a well off kid who didn’t want it anymore. He was going to donate them to F. E. A. S. T. but he’s thanking the stars he procrastinated a bit on swinging by the center. He put them on. They’re a bit big, but it’s better than the giant-in-comparison ones he normally wears. You know, as an adult.

He hesitated with his mask. He should at least figure out where he is. He hoped it was still in the states. His mask blinked, the HUD in his lenses informing him that it was trying to find a connection. “That’s weird.” He paused, grimacing at the sound of his voice. But it is weird, because he had his mask automatically connected to the world wide satellites Tony Stark had sent circling the globe for citizens without internet access as a back up option. So either he was somewhere even the Stark Satellites couldn’t reach or…

Peter swallowed, his mask pinging as it found a connection to piggy back on. He clicked his tongue twice to activate the voice controls.

“Connect to the local maps. Where am I?”

His masked followed the order. [Gotham. New Jersey.]

Peter stared at the words, gut churning.

Good news, he was still in the States. Bad news? He’s shrunk, in a totally different state, and possibly in a different world because he’s not connected to the Stark Satellites he knew operated in New Jersey.

Peter Parker tilted his head back and allowed himself one verbal, panic level six and up, curse word.

“Fuck.”

He took off his mask and leaned against a slightly cleaner part of the wall before hyperventilating.

——

Half an hour later, Peter smacked himself on the cheeks and pulled himself together.

“You’re Spider-Man,” he hissed to himself. “Have a mental breakdown somewhere warm, you dumbass.”

Peter Parker was a champion, world class expert at compartmentalization.

He slipped his mask back on, and pulled up his “So You’re Stuck in an Alternate Universe” list he had made with Ned so many years ago when they were high school kids and going through comic books to make contingencies because Peter was a little idiot vigilante hero.

“I didn’t think I’d actually ever need this kind of thing.” Peter muttered. He slipped his black back up gloves on to connect to his mask’s display in order to type.

“Okay,” he glanced at the side by side screens in his lenses. “Money.”

Five things.

1) The emergency cash he’d stashed on him thankfull matched the pictures of cash he’d found on this world’s internet. Yay!

2) He had $1000 tucked away. Not yay. Not if this might be a long term stay before he got back to his own dimension. Not if he wanted a place to sleep.

3) Luckily, thanks to his earlier search of where the hell he was, Peter figured out that due to the high crime rates- “Dang, that’s worse than New York on New Year’s Eve,” he had marveled- Gotham was dirt cheap and that that meant 1k dollars could actually last him a while and he could afford a room for a month on $250. A whole ass apartment for $550. Peter seriously considered staying in this universe just for the rent prices. So what if there’s rampant crimes? He’d deal with it if the rent was that cheap.

4) Problem? He’s fucking tiny. Who would rent to a person that looked like child? Not anyone upstanding, that’s for sure. He’s more likely to get mugged. Counterpoint: he’s in a city where apparently shady people are all around. Also? He doesn’t have an identity.

5) If the fact that he couldn’t connect to the Stark Satellites didn’t convince him he was either in another universe or an alternate dimension, the visual graphics of the websites he visited would. It was like looking at Windows in the early way before Stark Co. bought them out and improved the design. Nauseating.

Okay, so, money’s not too urgent of an issue. Next on Ned’s list: Places of Interest.

Namely, libraries, homeless shelters, crime hotspots, and the like.

Peter snorted when he came across an opinions article talking about how Park Row became Crime Alley. And then he frowned, because that story was not painting this place to be even remotely nice. Then again, considering the crime rates and the various Rogues this place seemed to have in spades, that wasn’t much of a surprise. Peter marks the place in his new mental map of Gotham as a potential area he could either disappear to or get a new identity at. He then marked the libraries, Gotham City Public Library and its many branches all funded by generous donations from a Bruce Wayne, the Martha Wayne foundations’ shelters and charities, two supermarkets near the library, and a coffee shop he thought looked warm and cozy from the shitty pictures they have uploaded online. He needed coffee, dammit, and he needed it hours ago. Alas, he probably wouldn’t get to go to one until he secured his finances.

Well, it’s not like he doesn’t have practice being poor.

3) Which brings him up to Ned’s next, surprisingly reasonable for a teenager hoped up on a mountain load of sugar, point. Level of Tech.

Peter hid next to the dumpster, melding in with the shadows, as he continued his research.

Tech here was… well, he probably wouldn’t have to worry. The thought of not having a Starkphone, even his older model, was painful considering the new versions of these WaynePhones were really… behind. Peter doesn’t remember the last time he had buttons on his phone or let alone a touch screen that didn’t use facial tracking and biometrics or even have a holographic display mode.

“Ugh. Okay. Not the end of the world, Parker.” Peter muttered.

Now… People of Interest.

This was underlined three times with Ned’s red pens, with extensive subcategories.

Subcategory A? Villains, because “what if they put out a warning for a known villain and you get your butt kicked because you didn’t know about them, Peter? Wouldn’t that be embarrassing?”

He had replied, half focused on the list and the other on savoring the Millennium Falcon Lego set May had saved up for months to get him for his birthday, “I feel like if I was getting my butt kicked by a villain, I’d probably have better things to worry about than my utter humiliation, Ned.”

“True that,” Ned had snicked and jotted it down anyways.

And… well, Gotham had a lot of villains. The Joker (ew, that’s a crusty man in crustier face paint. This guy could learn so much from the cool mimes busking in Central Park. Like, how to do face paint. Or how not to be a massive murderous jerk. There’s Clayface, Two-Face, a bald guy in “Metropolis” (a name Peter couldn’t help but snort at because a city named city? That’s like na’an bread being bread bread. Or chai tea being tea tea) named Lex Luthor, and Scarecrow. He tabbed all of them and marked them for further perusal at a later date. From experience, he knew villains with a prominent M.O. and themes usually did more damage. Case in point: Rhino, and the million dollars of property damage the guy did everytime he escaped the Raft. Peter was seriously considering petitioning for the Raft to be placed further out just so he could have more warning the next time some assholes decided to free the prisoners and helped them escape.

He narrowed his eyes at the screen, his mask’s lenses following the movement. He’ll have to pick up a gas mask. Apparently bio-weapons are just a regular thing here and he really didn’t want to get dosed with this “fear toxin.” It’d be dangerous for everyone involved. Maybe if he gets his hands on a sample, he could build up tolerance and see how his immune system and metabolic rates affected the normal progression of the toxin. Ah, off topic. He’s gotta focus.

Subcategory B: Local celebrities.

“Why would I need to know local celebrities?” He’d asked.

“If someone came up to you and asked “Who’s Tony Stark?”, wouldn’t you clock that as super weird? You gotta blend in, Peter. Plus, you gotta keep up with the pop culture, dude. It’s important.”

“You just want alternate universe memes,” Peter grinned.

“That too. If you ever go to an alternate universe and come back, you’d better bring me a truckload of memes or I’ll never forgive you.”

Yeah. So. Wayne? Super important. Like Tony Stark levels of important. He found threads about them and the local vigilantes and their charity works. Peter’s brain instantly catalogued the info, all but memorizing the deluge of pictures he found of Bruce Wayne and his kids. Maybe the man had an adoption problem? Conspiracy threads and memes popped up alongside his research. He tabbed one on secret societies, because as Spiderman, he had fought a disturbing amount of secret societies that, on hindsight, had been theorized about on threads he’s read on his free time. Somehow, somewhere, somewhen, a conspiracy theorist could be right. Peter’s not about to dismiss that. He also saved like thirty different memes to send to Ned when he got back. If he got back.

Peter smacked that thought away. He’ll get back to his city or die trying.

Subcategory C, underlined and starred: Other Superheroes and Vigilantes.

Yeah, Peter’s excited about this one too. After Matt stopped being Dare Devil (but did he actually ever stop?) and Wade dipping in and out of NY, Peter’s gotten lonely as Spider-Man. He missed training with them. Of course, the fantastic four were still operating, but he doesn’t actually interact with them or the Avengers at all. Miles hasn’t been cleared (by his mom) to go out as Spiderman with near as many hours as Peter cleared a night. Peter stood behind that because he remembered how horrible it was to work as Spiderman and try to balance school on top of it. Also, he was terrified of Mrs. Morales and would never endanger her son more than he already does. He did wave to Black Widow from a rooftop once, spider to spider, and that was pretty much the coolest moment of his life.

So. Uh. The amount of vigilantes and heroes in this world? Amazing. In Gotham? There’s like, a whole team of them.

Batman, Nightwing (who, Username: Draken Draken had theorized, was the first iteration of Batman’s sidekick Robin), Red Hood, Black Canary, Huntress, Red Robin, Spoiler, the “day vigilante” Signal, the current Robin, and whispers of a “Black Bat.”

And their unfortunate “No Meta” rule with the singular exception of Signal. Peter figured their term of Meta was essentially the same thing as his world’s mutants. He’s not sure which term he liked more. Eh, he’ll worry about that later.

And there’s a Justice League! Which, to Peter, is just a bigger Avengers. There’s aliens on this world too. Superman. Martian Manhunter.

Peter grinned from his place crouched next to the dumpster. Yeah, this is awesome. He quickly memorized everything he could find, cross referencing posts and picking out the nuggets of truth or at least popular truth from the posts he viewed. Like, Red Hood operated in Crime Alley and was a crime boss with morals. Cool.

He’ll go down the spiral later. He mentally thanked Ned who was the best guy in the chair a teenage vigilante could ask for. He should really text his friend when he got back.

For now, he’ll head to the library and see if he could use their computers. He might need a card though… Peter quickly pulled up the search engine and found an Internet cafe. Ah, 24 hour internet cafes, the savior of his college days. There first, and then library, Peter decided. He memorized the instructions and pulled his mask off, tucking it away in the hammer space.

He walked out the alley and turned left, only to double take at his reflection in a shop window that was partially boarded up. Holy shit, he’s a baby. He’s like. 10!

Oh my god.

Peter twitched, tearing himself away from the window before the shop owner decided he was less curious and more potential mugger before promptly remembering that he looked less of a threat than ever. Mixed feelings.

Peter hurried his way to the internet cafe, paying the guy at the front a little extra so he’d ignore the obvious minor without a guardian thing Peter hasn’t gotten used to. Ugh. That was going to be annoying. He only paid for two hours and pulled up as many listings for a room as possible. By the end of it, he came out with $1 worth of fliers printed out and having funneled some billionaire’s offshore accounts into a new bank account he’d made by hacking into the bank servers. Does he feel bad about stealing? Yeah. But Peter’s a vigilante. He’s done worse than nabbing a monthly sum of a couple of hundreds from Lex Luthor’s off shore accounts. He’s not gonna get caught, and considering the guy’s rants on meta humans, Peter’s not feeling particularly guilty about it. He’ll do something good later to make up for it. Once he gets his footholds and can prepare his way back, he’ll even return to the rest of the money. Probably.

Peter left the cafe with his sheaf of flyers, stopping by an informational stand with free tourist maps and plucked one quickly from its plastic holder. He’ll pick something up from the food vendors on his way to the apartments. Peter began walking, taking in the sights of the gargoyles and-

“Nope!” He caught the wrist of a pickpocket. It’s a kid and he immediately felt bad.

“Lemme go. I ain’t done nothing to ya, ya Yorker tourist.”

“Okay,” Peter shrugged. “Don’t get caught the next time?”

The kid gaped at him. “Shi’, you must be really good at it. I’ve never been caught before.”

Peter wisely refrained from telling the kid it was due to his spidey-sense. He let go of the kid’s wrist and let a bit more of his accent out. “Why’d you need money anyways?”

“Food, duh.”

“Dude, I’m starving. Tell you what. You show me the best sub shop nearby and I’ll pay for your food. Deal?”

The kid stared at him, wide eyed. “You’re fuckin’ nuts. Why’re you being nice?”

“I’m hungry? Do we have a deal, kid?”

“… Fuck it. Fine. And don’t call me kid, shrimp. You’re like what, eight?”

Oh. Yeah. Peter’s a kid now. He shrugged.

“I’m older than you. I’m twelve.”

Peter blinked, frowning at how thin the kid’s wrists were.

“I’m Peter!”

“… Frank.”

He let Frank lead the way. Stranger danger doesn’t apply to him, he’s a grown ass man. In the body of a ten year old him, but still. A couple of minutes, four sandwiches and a load of chips later, Frank was watching wide eyed as he demolished three four dollar subs.

“Holy shit. Where are you packing that away? You’re a stick!”

Peter took a big bite of the sandwich as an answer. Frank looked down at his meal.

“Uh. Hey.”

Peter made a muffled noise of question, mouth stuffed full of steak and cheese.

“Sorry about. Uh. Trynna nick from ya.”

Peter chewed faster.

Frank continued, looking like he hated himself. “I wouldn’t… normally steal from shrimps like you but I was desperate and… really hungry, so. My bad.”

Peter finished chewing. “All good, dude. Eat your sandwich.”

Peter had the sudden urge to adopt Frank. Unlike Wayne, he’s not a billionaire, so he smacked that urge down. He could use a friend though. Now… how to be friends with a literal child!

“If you feel that bad about it, you could… be my friend?”

Peter took in the wide eyed gaze from the twelve year old in front of him. Abort! Abort! That was too direct!

“You’re fucking weird. But… okay.”

“That was easy.”

Frank scowled, kicking Peter’s shin.

“Ow!”

“Whatever, shrimp.”

Peter scowled. On his baby face, it came out as a pout.

Do not start beef with a twelve year old, Peter. You’re a grown ass adult.

“Hey, you know I’m new here, right?”

“Duh.” Frank took a bite of his food.

“Can you tell me which one of these are legit?” Peter handed Frank the flyers. He took them, an odd look passing his face.

“You’re looking for a place?”

“Yeah? Why?”

Frank stared at him. Looked back down. He instantly got rid of four listings out of the ten. “These are too close to the Alley. They’re probably traffickers.”

Peter hummed in agreement. Frank paused.

“You’re just gonna trust me on that?”

“Yeah? I can tell when people are lying.” Well, his spidey sense could, when he cared enough about the subject.

“What the fuck.” Frank shoved the rest the papers at him and guiltily munched on his food. “Are Yorkers all just like you?”

“Dunno? Probably not.”

“… Whatever. The rest of the places should work. They probably won’t ask questions.” Frank flapped a hand at Peter’s new situation. Yeah, the shortness was getting to him too.

Peter nodded. Obviously, they were the more expensive places, but considering the new found resources he’d… acquired during his time at the cafe, it doesn’t really matter.

“Cool! Wanna go see it with me?”

Frank immediately took on a suspicious glare. “Why?”

“I dunno? You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought since you know your way around…”

“Ugh. Fine. But if there’s anything shady, I’m fucking dipping out.”

“Okay!” Peter grinned for the first time the couple of hours he’d been trapped in this new world.

——

They’d found an apartment with a landlord that got a weird, sad face when she was talking to them about the apartment. After like, an hour of walking around and Peter’s spidey sense screaming at him not to even go near the places Frank had left in the pile of maybe’s.

“We walked all the way here. Ya not even gonna go in?”

“The vibes are off. It’s a no.”

And because Peter’s a genius idiot with no self preservation, he’d marked the places to investigate later.

Frank had blinked at him, mildly offended and nonplussed. After a while of spluttering, he just gave up. Eventually, they got here.

“I don’t normally rent to kids,” the landlord lady said. Peter immediately liked her. “But I’ll make an exception if you’ve got the cash.”

“I’d like to see the unit first, please” Peter said. He’s not stupid, and Gotham’s renting scene is both easier and harder than New York.

They toured it. Peter? He’d seen worse. He’d lived worse. Also, it had two bedroom and was $620. Yeah, Peter was really considering just staying here full time and commuting to his New York when he wanted to be a vigilante.

“I’ll take it, ma’am.” The landlord and Frank both snorted, sharing a Gothamite look.

“It’s Georgie, to you, brat. You just need the first month’s rent, since I’ll wave the deposit for you shrimps. Utilities included. Your friend stayin’?”

“No-” Frank had started.

“Yep!” Peter beamed, interrupting his new friend.

“What?” Frank turned, gaping again at this weird little kid who had enough money to rent a place and then invited a whole ass street kid he just met to live with him. “Are you stupid?! What if I rob you? Huh? I don’t need charity!”

Peter slowly looked around the empty unit.

“Uh.”

“No, that’s not the point!” Frank pointed a finger at Peter. “That’s how you get yourself killed!”

“But that’s why you should stay! I don’t know my way around Gotham so…”

Peter looked up at Frank, using his shortness for maximum devastation. “Please?”

Georgie leaned back on the heels of her feet, silently laughing. It’s not every day she sees a Gothamite street kid get out stubborned by an outsider, but she knows better than anyone that Gotham is weak to genuine kindness. And this Peter kid, the one that reminds her so much of her own? He’s practically filled with it.

“Yeah, kid,” she said to Frank, snickering. “Look at him. He’s gonna get mugged two steps into the Alley. Or anywhere.”

Frank flailed, but eventually, Peter handed over the money to an amused Georgie who gave them two keys in return and a move in gift of a pot pie.

“I gotta. Uh. Go get my stuff.” Frank had mumbled, dazed at whatever the hell just happened.

“Okay! I’ll see if I can go get furniture!”

“And lift them with your shrimpy arm? You wish.”

“I can use a cart.”

And really, he could, because Gotham had a lot of abandoned carts laying around. Like a concerning amount.

“Can you even reach the handle?”

“I’m not that short!”

Frank snorted, Georgie’s own chuckles following a beat after. Peter scowled at them.

“Be right back,” Frank promised, holding the key like it was treasure. He had been homeless for two and a half years now, so in his eyes, that key was as good as gold. He had somewhere warm to stay. Trying to pickpocket Peter was the best mistake he’s ever made in his short life. But he didn’t want to take advantage of that, well, no, he did want to, but he doesn’t want to take the genuine kindness for granted so he’ll see if there’s any street furniture he could haul back on his way.

“Okay!”

Georgie watched him go and turned to Peter.

“If you need stuff, there’s a thrift store and a grocery store that way.” She gave him the directions.

——

As soon as Frank and Georgie left, Peter immediately left his new place (and holy shit, he really didn’t expect things to be this easy. In New York, he had to spend at least a week checking out places because he had to figure out whether the problem that cause subtle twinges with his spider sense was worth living with. Here? It’s too obvious.) to buy supplies. He had $400. Until his new card came in, at least. He’d put his new address into that bank account addressed to a “Anthony Benjamin” before ordering a “replacement card.”

Peter ran to the thrift store, hurrying before the last traces of the sun dipped below the smog of Gotham. A frankly absurd amount of blankets, towels, pillows, clothes, packaged boxers, socks and shoes around his size went into the cart. To his chagrin, Peter couldn’t actually see much over the cart. Why the hell was he such a short ten year old? He blasted through the store, also guesstimating Frank’s sizes. He tossed in curtains, a used set of glow in the dark stars, and a lamp.

He also grabbed mismatched mugs, bowls, a bundle of cutlery, and a dented microwave he casually pretended to struggle getting onto the bottom part of the cart. It’s like lifting grapes for him, but he looks like a ten year old so…

He, guiltily, bought a mildly fancy camera in a set, with two separate lenses, even if one was cracked.

Not bad, for $150 total. Peter is going to definitely seriously consider commuting to New York. They didn’t even care when he walked out with the cart! Well, that might be because of the cashier who gave him a pitying glance.

He stopped by a general store on the way back, parking his cart in a rapidly shadowy alleyway. He swung by the new section of the store that reminded him of a Dollar Tree and got cleaning supplies, toiletries, and two pans and a pot. He grabbed some canned food and a couple of frozen meals in the back. Seasonings, ramen, general pantry staples went in. A role of paper towel. Nice. Venom would have loved this store. With half of his budget blown for essentials, Peter quickly cut his spending off and

He quickly gathered his stuff and went back to the apartment, using his strength a bit to lift the full cart up the stairs at the front doors and into the elevator. It creaked like the first time they used it to go see the apartment, but it worked. Peter set everything up in the living room, pillow and blanket wise, and put everything in its proper place. The lamp was put up, giving more light than the old bulb in the ceiling light.

All Peter wanted to do was pass out, but since his dumbass took in a child, he couldn’t sleep until this place was relatively fit for a kid to live in. He also wanted to wait for

So, that’s what he did. Taking a sponge and the cleaning supplies he’d picked up earlier, Peter tackled the living room, scrubbing away at old stains and spraying mildew. He marked trouble spots- like that splinter worthy piece of floor next to the doorway leading to the hall between the bedrooms. Then the kitchen. By the time Frank cautiously peeked his head in from the front door, Peter had already finished scrubbing the over.

“Hey.”

Peter turned, grime on his face but grinning. “Hey!” I bought some stuff!”

Frank snorted at his face before glancing around the living room, eyeing the cart parked neatly on the side.

“So you did. Didn’t get mugged, did ya?”

“Rude. No, of course not.”

Frank gave him a… frankly… unimpressed look and dumped his bag next to the pile of blankets and pillows Peter had piled onto the floor. Sue hi’, they didn’t have beds yet.

“Got somethin’ for ya,” Frank said neutrally before dragging in…

“A coffee table!” Peter bounced towards Frank, hugging him before lugging in the heavy wooden table in. “You’re the best! Where’d you find it?!”

The tension, anxiety about Peter’s reaction, in Frank’s shoulders relaxed and the kid grinned. “Alley. Some asshole just left it there for anyone to hit with their car so I took it.”

“Nice! We can eat on this!”

——

When they were getting ready for bed, Peter insisting on showers for both of them, Frank had reared up at the clothes Peter bought for him. Peter pretended like he didn’t see anything and shove a whole tube of toothpaste and a new toothbrush at him.

“Ew. Do I have to?” Frank asked, wrinkling his nose but taking the items anyways.

“Yeah.” Peter said seriously. Frank gave a moment to wonder why he was taking orders from an eight year old before shrugging. He could brush his teeth in exchange for a roof over his head, food, and clothes. It’s not even a fair trade, for Peter, anyways. Frank was enough of an alley rat to take advantage of that.

——

When Frank passed out, Peter couldn’t sleep. He’s exhausted, but he couldn’t sleep.

So he took his new camera and climbed the fire escape to the roof top.

An hour later, he met his first vigilante.

“Hey, kiddo. I’m gonna need you to back away from the edge.”

“Woah!” Peter startled, jolting slightly off of the ledge he was balanced on. He twisted around to see Red Robin, hand outstretched and panicked look in his eyes.

“Dude. Warn a guy!” Peter said, even though his spider sense warned him of an approaching person that was actively watching him.

Red Robin held his hands up. “My bad. Would you- uh, not be on that ledge?”

“Yeah, sure. My bad, bro.” Peter obligingly stood up and stepped away from the ledge. Red Robin relaxed then did a double take. Peter frowned. Is there something on his face?

“What are you doing up here, kiddo? It’s late.”

Peter decided to scope out the vigilante. “Couldn’t sleep,” he held up his camera. “I’m taking pictures.”

“Oh. That’s cool! Can I see?” Red Robin approached warily, but relaxed when Peter didn’t spook and try to take a shortcut to ground floor.

“Sure! It’s a new, well, not new but new to me, camera so I haven’t had all that time to mess with the specs but the pictures turned out pretty good-”

“Oh, woah. This one’s great. That composition? Amazing. You caught the light perfectly,” Red Robin complimented. Peter brightened, knowing a photography fan when he hears one.

“Photography buddy!” He cheered.

They talked for an hour after that, but Red Robin quickly sent him to bed once he remembered the time.

“Ah, shi- crap. It’s like 2AM. You’ve gotta go to bed.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry if I interrupted your patrol, Mr. Red Robin!”

“No problem, kid.” Peter slipped back down the fire escape, not caring if the vigilante saw where he lived.

——

Up on the rooftop, Red Robin pressed a hand to his comm.

“Red Robin to Nightwing.”

“What’s up, Red?”

“Do you have a kid you don’t know about?” Tim said, bluntly.

“… What?”

“Oracle, can you share my cowl footage?”

“Copy. Oh, that kid…”

“Looks exactly like Wing?” Tim said, peering down at the empty fire escape. “Yeah. Talked like him too.”

“Oh my god, he’s adorable.” Oracle said. Tim agreed. That curly hair? Baby face? Adorable. A bean. “Did you get DNA?”

“Ah, shit, I knew I forgot something.”

“Do not break into his place and nab a hair,” Nightwing reprimanded, but his voice sounded distracted.

“Holy shit, you guys nerded out about camera placement and lighting for an hour?” Hood piped up.

“Get some rest, Red Robin. You’ve been working too hard,” Batman grunted through the comms. Awkward… but he’s been getting better at communicating his worry for his kids.

“Sure thing, B. Heading back to the main cave. Red Robin out.

——

Peter: lay low and get home

Also Peter: talks to a vigilante

None of them think Peter’s Nightwing’s yet. Peter will know before them… eventually. Once this world’s version of him gives up his memories to be absorbed by AU Peter.

[mkarchin713]

Jazz: grandpa please stop trying to set me up with geniuses

Ra’s: I just want one in law who is not a hyper competent himbo, is that too much to ask?

Like grandfather like grandson

Danny x Val Ra's al Ghul father of Alicia and Maddie Ex-LoA Maddie, who had good relationship with Ra. Danny and Jazz's very busy grandfather, Ra's al Ghul, pays a surprise visit to Amity Park, leaving Maddie Fenton both intrigued and happy. Jazz was happy to talk with her grandfather again; the last time they did was because she told him she didn't want to rule his cult.

Ra's was interested in his grandson; imagine his surprise to learn his descendant built his own group! And took care a problem he wanted to take care of.

Danny, even with his ghostly abilities, also inherits a part of his grandfather's legacy, he formed his own elite group. Drawing inspiration from the Assassins of the Assassin's Creed, Danny and his team don the iconic robes and hoods. And his relationship with Valerie Gray had deepened as their connection strengthened as they navigated the challenges while in battle. So they were dating again and much happier now too.

Together, they protect Earth from supernatural and extraterrestrial threats from the Zone and similar In a similar way, Black Ops do it, not knowing they were there to take it.

John Constantine most often uses them and pays them pretty well. Like most of the Justice League Dark.

+ Ra's had a lot of joy talking with his grandson about different ideas and how to lead them, and seeing old assassins who died serving him and their ghosts had joined the cult "okay Madeline" group of his grandson. For a group of only four humans, they were pretty effective too as he read the report his spies found about them. Jasmine didn't seem to fully want to join it, but it's good to see she is still as strong as before.

+ Maddie joined it and gave tips for it; it was like when she was a child and before she left. She didn't want to be his heir; her father wouldn't die anyway. She has no idea why he wants a Heir anyway.

++++ - So in a way, Talia and Damian are the replacements twice over, or even worse, three times over, for the position heir. - The other ones didn't want the heir position.

[gourmetofglut]

On Emilia, Fandom Double Standards, and Summary Culture: A Thread

*Some Unmarked Arc 7 and 8 Spoilers ahead.

To preface this, my rambling will be a lot less structured with fewer screenshots of supporting evidence than I usually provide. This is more just my stream of consciousness edited down into something readable. When it comes to Emilia, I also fully admit to having a bias.

Her character struck a chord with me when I read Re: Zero for the first time, and I don’t hesitate to admit that. Alongside Otto and Subaru, I felt many of her issues reflected some things from my own life as an autistic person, even if it was perhaps unintentional.

The struggle with social interaction, the difficulty with maintaining friendships, the inability to stand up for oneself in fear of burdening others, etc. Even how she was treated by society kind of matched up with that, even if the discrimination was more analogous to racism.

Now I’m just me. My interpretations are just extensions of my experience. My self-indulgent rant here is me merely commenting on my perspective of quite a bit of ongoing community discourse I just find tiring, often feeling misguided at best and actively bad faith at worst.

My general frustration with Emilia's discourse is that I feel a lot of it blows the worst aspects of her writing out of proportion, actively ignores her best writing, and/or makes statements about the content the person fully admits to not having read.

The latter in particular irks me, as it seems to be representative of a bigger issue in this community, that I will cover in more detail later.

In a lot of ways, Emilia’s treatment kind of reminds me a lot about how female characters are treated in Shonen's discourse.

Sure, the narrative doesn’t always treat them the best, but anything positive is buried under a hyper-focus on negatives even if they take up a fraction of screen time. People judge them based on out-of-context panels or summaries without ever touching the scenes themselves.

If they are too competent, they’re a boring “Mary Sue” or whatever buzzword people are using that day, while if they don’t solve everything instantly they’re a useless burden on the plot who are carried by “plot armor,” or once again whatever buzzwords people are using that day. Often, many female characters have been ascribed both labels, without people stopping to consider how contradictory these elements.

And this kind of discourse, this contradictory mess based on hearsay and summaries, is the kind of thing that frustrates me.

I think the best example of this in regard to Emilia is how people discuss her flaws. All too often, people act like her flaws don’t exist or are “stupid,” something that comes off frustratingly ignorant for someone who's been in many of the same places she’s been.

I knew what it was like to realize you needed to cut friends out of your life who treated you as less of a person. I knew what it was like to have to be forced into growing to stand up for yourself, moving away from a parent who infantilized you just because of who you were.

I knew what it was like to have to fully address things about myself I wanted to bury and act like didn’t exist. To act like these experiences weren’t real like they were things no one ever went through, is such a strange thing. Perhaps they aren’t handled the best in places, something I feel is fair to discuss, but of course, nuance can’t exist in these discussions. Or how about the way people talk about Emilia in other arcs?

While I don’t like how Emilia is handled in WN Arc 5, I think the LN highlights how she’s developed in a similar way to how the same arc is used to highlight how Subaru has developed. She stands up to Regulus, beats his ass for the women unable to stand up for themselves like she had once been able to, and resolves to save them despite the impossible circumstances just like how Subaru often does. She refuses to give into despair and wait to be rescued as she once did, being core to Regulus' defense. Yet, of course, none of that is focused on.

Instead, we have to deal with inane discussions about a few sentences in the totality of her arc, throwing out hyperbolic statements about how a random shitty joke “ruins” her character or something. Her role as a narrative foil to Regulus?

How her focus on names in the arc tie into themes of identity? Her breaking of fate by freeing the wives? Nah, she's little more than a "Mary Sue" because she achieves something against Regulus/she doesn’t do anything despite literally being one of the main reasons they won.

Similar things apply to Arc 6. It’s an arc not focusing on her, but it does go out of its way to showcase her development. Her relationship with Ram? Her perseverance in the face of an enemy she can’t do anything against in Volcanica? Her helping Subaru in the same way he helped her, fully swapping roles with him? None of that matters in the face of a 10-sentence scene where Reid pokes her tits.

Arcs 7 and 8 are perhaps the most egregious showcase of these issues. In general, the Vollachia saga does not focus much on the Emilia Camp. Hell, some of them contribute nothing. Yet still, Emilia gets a fair bit to do. She’s able to read people like Vincent, within seconds of discussion and connects down to the root of who people are quickly.

She cuts through the bullshit of people like Priscilla and Vincent quickly, forcing them to meet her on her level rather than act all high and mighty. She forces her way into the hearts of those who refuse to see reason like Madelyn.

More than ever, she showcases her true merits as a member of the Emilia Camp during high-stress situations like Vollachia. She’s a lot like Subaru in that way… Which brings me to my next point: Fuck, do people understate how similar her and Subaru are.

In a community that will analyze every little detail to find even a hint of parallels between Subaru and other characters, to the point of sometimes actively ignoring existing characterization, Emilia seldom gets highlighted. She goes through a similar arc of regaining self-worth, a similar of grappling with heroism, a similar arc of really figuring out who exactly she wants to be to others. She does the whole “wanting to believe she’s giving her full effort so someone else will tell her it’s alright that she failed and then gave up” thing in Arc 4 that matches what Subaru himself did in Arc 3. Hell, even her parental figures in Fortuna and Guese are written to be close parallels to Subaru’s parents (though with Fortuna being akin to Kenichi and Guese being akin to Naoko), something I’ve seen highlighted maybe once ever by someone other than me despite her backstory with them being in the SAME ARC.

It’s just a weird double standard, with people displaying an unwillingness to give her the same level of engagement they give other characters.

On the other hand, she also suffers from the same thing as many other Re: Zero characters where she gets reduced to ONLY her dynamic with Subaru. She has a lot of relationships with other characters around her like Puck, Ram, Otto, Priscilla, etc. that rarely receive attention. This is not unique to her of course (don’t get me STARTED on Julius, Reinhard, and Otto’s treatment by the community) but it is notable with her when the story itself goes after Subaru for ignoring her own autonomy separate from him. This is something people love to point out in regards to how it helps Subaru as a character, but when it comes to Emilia, many engage with her through the exact same kind of thought.

Because Subaru is the only character who matters.

Because anything beyond Subaru only exists for him. Even if an arc has nothing to do with him, even if a character is actively used as more of a foil for someone else, it all has to tie back to him. The world revolves around Subaru.

And it’s not like I don’t get it. Subaru is fascinating. He’s literally my 2nd favorite character in fiction. I’ve gone at length talking about all the little things I love about him so, so, so many times because doing so just fills me with joy.

I just want characters to be able to exist, interact, and do stuff outside of him without everything having to immediately loop back to him.

Going back to Emilia though, I do want to make it clear at this point that I don’t think Emilia is perfect or anything. I guarantee you that many of the things that frustrate you frustrate me a HELL of a lot more. I do think she should have a bit more page time in certain arcs, I do think Tappei has the narrative treat her weirdly sometimes, and I do think she is infantilized often. I will be the first to point out scenes I think undercut her development or treat her like a child. I could ramble all day about a few scenes I dislike throughout Re: Zero and I have gone at length about my issues with how Tappei fetishizes her.

I just think it’s kind of disingenuous to have this be the only discourse around her. To many in this community, a character must be perfect with no flaws or trash that ruins the narrative. Nuanced discussion, analyzing a character for their negatives and positives, can’t exist. Instead, we’ve got to mention the stupid Divine General joke even in the in-universe narrative that seems to disregard it for the 10th time. We have to talk about the snarky one-liner from Otto that is so strangely mean and condescending it feels out of character for him.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t discuss it, but the overwhelming amount of focus on these singular moments as compared to other characters who get the same treatment narratively can be frustrating. We loop back to these singular sentences repeatedly that people saw in a summary or screenshot rather than reading the arc because that’s the only way half this fandom engages with anything anymore.

And once again, I think that’s really what irks me. I think I would be a lot more fair towards the general discourse if I felt like it was coming from a place of good faith; from people who were reading the thing they were talking about. But that’s not exactly what’s happening, is it? Instead, you see people quoting AI translations about as good as a 5-year-old’s book report, you see the same screenshot shared by those who “haven’t read the arc yet, but,” and you see the same wrong information someone said in a summary months ago pop up repeatedly.

It’s such a gross way to engage with media to me. Reducing it from art—something to experience—to slop to shovel down one’s throat. It’s the kind of lazy, unengaged behavior that has led to series being entirely engaged with through Wikipedia summaries and YouTube video essays. Why let yourself get invested when you can just learn everything there is about the basic plot in 10 minutes? Why let yourself be surprised by the twists and turns of a tale when you can just look up the secret beforehand? Why view something as a work of art instead of simple content to be discarded as soon as you know everything there is to know? And if you know all about it, why bother listening to the analysis of anyone who actually engages with the source material, providing quotes, when it’s all just coping and reading into things too much?

There’s an arrogance that comes from that specific kind of media ignorance, and it applies most to female characters. Subaru’s a victim of that slop content approach to media too of course, but it seems to be most prominent with the female characters who surround him. All too often in the anime community, people overcorrect in response to any issues in a female character’s writing. They see a flaw and go “Guess this character is awful,” before proceeding to ignore every previous and future aspect of that character, good or bad.

And the failure to apply a holistic analysis of the merits of Tappei’s character writing is not limited to the shitty gags he writes for Emilia. Pretty much every character in this series has one, and often way more, scenes where something similarly shitty is done.

Priscilla has a gag about being creepy to children. Al makes weird comments about women, some of them being minors. Rem’s love for Subaru is played up to rapey extents in certain side stories. Otto’s struggles with someone who tried to have him killed are reduced to a gag. And who can forget the holy grail of infantilization, Beatrice? The character the story itself calls Subaru’s mother figure, whose entire character arc is predicated on exercising her autonomy, is constantly treated like a child for the sake of comedy. Arguably, she’s subjected to infantilization far more than Emilia ever has been.

Yet, these gags are often ignored, written off as the shitty attempts at humor they are. They still exist and are frustrating, but they aren’t the only pieces of discussion about a character. After all, many people have had to realize at this point that Re: Zero isn’t immune to the same shitty tropes as the rest of the genre. It is subversive of many of its tropes, but it utilizes those same tropes as it pleases, picking and choosing what it wants to deconstruct. As someone who adores this series, I feel like it would be disingenuous of me to claim otherwise.

Yet even acknowledging that, I think Re: Zero and its characters are some of my favorites in any fictional work I've read. When it comes to characters like Al, Priscilla, Rem, Otto, and Beatrice there’s just so much to analyze and admire about them. They tie into the story, the themes, and the characters around them in such fascinating ways that people have written literal essays about them.

Some of it may not be intentional. Some of it may just be my own experiences being projected. Some of it may just be connections that exist only in my mind...but that’s how art works. You are supposed to look at it with bias, whether it be yours, the author’s, or someone else’s.

These are interpretations I can make about these characters, regardless of what anyone else thinks. The author’s intentions, by virtue of not being directly stated to the audience, aren't the only way to read a story. It’s my prerogative as a reader to look at a story through a lens that works best for me.

Ultimately, much of this fandom’s disingenuous treatment of Emilia’s depth as a character is the result of people refusing to have their own opinions and takes on Re: Zero. Rather than reading the story, engaging with it, and interpreting it through their preferred lens, they borrow the rhetoric spouted by others without any critical thinking involved. That’s not to say this applies to everyone who dislikes the character.

You can dislike a character for many reasons, after all. You don’t have to justify it. If they just don't interest you, fuck them. Think whatever you wish and be whoever you want.

But if your reason is that you saw an out-of-context screenshot or summary from someone —if your reason is that you hold them to a standard that does not apply to other characters—that feels rather weak, doesn’t it?

In the end, all commentary on art is subjective. There’s no right way to read a story or watch a show. But there are definitely lazy ways. The only way to counteract this kind of thought is to read, to watch, and to think about the things put in front of you. Truly look at a story for what it is, good and bad.

When I did that, I found a character that I was able to connect with. Maybe you won’t, but that’s just how I feel about Emilia.

[levandright]

omg this is my first time doing one of these i’m sorry if my answers aren’t good 😭😭 i’m usually described as very hyper and funny by others, i’m very loyal and i try my best to be nice to others. i love reading and listening to music and watching romcoms. i’m a capricorn. my ideal type is somebody tall, kind, shy and quiet. i also love when they’re chaotic and hyper idk it’s a mix of both maybe??

my favourite trope would be like the boy next door trope and enemies to loves like mixed together but those two separately are also good !! my favourite season is winter and hobbies of mine are reading, writing poems, baking, and beauty related stuff like doing makeup (idk what else 😭)

i would like to be matched up with nct dream !! i’m sorry if the information is confusing once again <3 and congrats on 200 followers !!! 🫶🫶

FINDING YOUR MATCH...

MATCH FOUND! your match is... PARK JISUNG

JISUNG loves how energetic you are, your humor just matches his perfectly. you always have him laughing at one of your quick-witted jokes. being by your side he's albe to unleash his playful and cheeky side. often teasing you in lighthearted and affectionate way that sometimes leave you blushing.

JISUNG is easily able to match your energy when you're both alone, but when you're in a more public setting he easily gets shy. (he can't help it you know!) though he's shy in public doesn't mean he won't go out his comfort zone once a while to see your surprised expression ;). its worth the judging stares of single passerby's he thinks.

JISUNG and you have a tradition of having a snowball fight every winter time, often competing who'll hit the other more. you always win somehow. he's totally not letting your snowball hit him on purpose he says.

JISUNG loves loves building gingerbread houses with you <3 even if he always end up breaking something while making the gingerbread house, his gingerbread house often looking like an earthquake hit it with a 10.0 magnitude. which often times lead you to teasing him, sometimes he'll get all sad and pouty just to make you hug and comfort him(an evil mastermind he is…)

JISUNG wants to bake with you, but one time he almost burned your shared apartment down because he let the oven on for longer than the needed amount, you've banned him from touching the kitchen since (he says he won't do it again though, maybe you should give him another chance-)

JISUNG would let you practice your makeup skills on him, he'll just be staring at your face like some love sick puppy though, you often get flustered if you kept eye contact with him for more than 7 mins.

your custom playlist <3

✮ lev notes : TYSM!! dw it wasn't confusing <3 I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING YOUR MATCHUP hehe :33 hope you'll like the songs i choose for your playlist :D ✮ want to find your own match? apply here! curious about other matches?

[mangobabygirl]

Hi darling, i love reading your stuff. Its the first time i write to you but i have these recurring fantasy of watching luigi makeout with another man. Like, i had dreams of being in thailand and him being in a naughty/idgaf mood and persuading him to kiss another hot man and eventually leads up to a threesome. What do you think?

Oh my God anon this is so hot 🥵 I wish I had dreams about Luigi like that!

Okay hear me out on this one- AU where you, him, and Jack Schlossberg are in college together, the three of you getting shitfaced in Jack and Luigi’s shared dorm room off some off-brand Vodka and orange juice. You’re leaning your head against Luigi’s shoulder, hands tracing gentle circles on his thigh, snuggled closely together.

You couldn’t explain why, but you always felt you could be unconditionally affectionate with Luigi in front of Jack. It was just the vibe you got hanging around him. Jack was like a light switch; very flamboyant and theatrical in public, but intellectual yet easy—going in private. You never felt judged or uncomfortable in front of him; his warm brown eyes and charismatic smile always made you feel relaxed, accepted as you were to a point you felt you could tell him anything.

You were collectively 3/4 through the bottle of Vodka, and somehow, the conversation had shifted towards societal commentary. It wasn’t unfamiliar territory for Jack and Luigi to slip into this topic of discussion; the two of them talked about everything, from Japanese Shinto culture, to hiking and traveling, to the present state of the nation.

“..technology has created a profoundly asocial element in the fabric of modern society,” Luigi explained, “people aren’t fostering authentic social interactions with each other. They replace sex with porn, athletics with e-sports and video games. This is why hyper-industrialized countries like Japan have chronically low birth rates.”

Jack nodded, mulling it over in his brain for a moment. “You’re not accounting for the economic factors. Most people in America are living paycheck to paycheck, and the median income per person in America is only around thirty-seven thousand dollars a year. That’s not enough money for a single individual to live comfortably, let alone have to have children. And you know what- what I find the most frustrating out of this situation? It’s these Republicans making it worse. Their tax cuts are causing hyperinflation, which further squeezes the American family…”

You roll your eyes, pouring you self another drink of Vodka. You loved Luigi and Jack, you really did, but sometimes their tendency to get drunk and mansplain over arguments made you want to blackout on the spot.

Still, you couldn’t deny there was an unspoken tension between them. They were both perfectionists, and it felt like they were always competing to intellectually one-up each other. Luigi would talk to you about Jack all the time. He’d mention his senatorial internships, comments he made in class, grades he got on assignments. One time, Jack earned a 98 on an essay assignment in a Philosophy of Religion class he took with Luigi; Luigi earned only a 96. He was fuming for a solid week; when you came by before various dates, he’d look at Jack like he was pure poison, his casual, “see you later”s laced with unmistakable venom. That was also the week he fucked you roughly for the first time. “Mine, all mine,” he’d growl between thrusts and spanks, covering your body in bruises and marks of possession where you knew Jack would be able to see them.

“…why don’t we ask what she thinks?” Luigi said, squeezing your thigh and shaking you from your reminiscence, “‘Bet she has a different perspective entirely on the whole declining birthrates situation.”

You did, in fact, have an entirely different perspective on this birthrates situation. You wanted to bring up Marx’s theory of alienation, that humans are becoming more isolated each other because they’re degraded to cogs in the machine of a capitalist system, and the economic factors are just a symptom of unchecked capitalism working as intended, a perspective their homogeneous upper-class backgrounds would never have considered materially outside their introductory political science courses.

But the Vodka was starting to create a buzz, and you felt overconfident, emboldened to say what was truly on your mind.

“I think you two should shut up and just kiss each other.”

The words leave your mouth without second thought, hanging in the air between the three of you like a thick, uncomfortable heat. Jack and Luigi laugh nervously, their cheeks blushing red, staring uncomfortably at you, then each other.

“I mean- I wouldn’t necessarily oppose..” Jack stammers out, trailing off as Luigi scotches closer to him, like he was challenging him to finish his sentence. There’s an intensity, a fire in Luigi’s eyes as he stares Jack down, his thick brows furrowed in a display of calculated dominance. It was as if he was torn between fighting him or fucking him.

“Yeah?” Jack smirks at him in response, unintimidated in the slightest. In fact, Luigi if nothing emboldened him, his brown eyes gazing wildly into Luigi’s shamelessly, “what would happen if I just-“

You watched his hands slowly maneuver their way up Luigi’s leg, gently stopping to rest on his bare-upper thigh. A queen’s gambit if you ever saw one.

Luigi gasps, his cheeks glowing red-hot. Jack’s smirk widens to a smile, as if Luigi fell right into his trap, everything set in perfect motion.

That is, until Luigi grabs Jack by the jaw, closing his eyes and locking their lips in a bruising kiss. You watched their mouths move urgently against each other’s, their lips enveloped in desperation, tension and petty jealousies collapsing into an insatiable hunger. You hear Jack moan desperately into Luigi’s mouth, Luigi grunting in response as he leaned harder into the kiss, the wet sounds of their smacking lips a symphony to your ears.

The two separate breathlessly, chests heaving, heartbeats beating so loud you swore you could hear it pounding in their chests. Luigi’s fingers graze Jack’s cheek as he looks down at him, their gaze starry-eyed as they stared into each others depths.

Something within the room shifted as they looked back at you, the three of you eyeing each other with a mutual understanding of what was to come next.

Luigi reaches for your hand, grasping it lightly, rolling his thumb over your palm.

“Get on the bed, princess,” he says.

[wordsfrombudha]

*Response to inbox message that got deleted*

Yes, what would you like to know? From my observations, Sun women are the know-it-all bossy-boots types who tend to be very critical and demanding. Many people may find them a bit much because they like to correct and critique others, and you can kind of tell even if they aren't saying it out loud (unlike Sun men who will express it more externally). This is the nature of the Sun, though. It is the graha of tough love and guiding discipline. I like to compare it to a stern parent who is just looking out for the best interests of their children. However, it’s hard to see that in the moment. It’s like when you break a law and get punished. The punishment makes you angry, but you also have to understand that laws made to protect people are there to uphold the greater good.

Sun women are, overall, very bright, hyper-competent, type-A, very set in their principles, overachieving, rule-following, intense, and stubborn. They expect people to always give their best, and they have no time for sloppiness or moral shortcuts. When thinking of solar energy, think of how the sun is—radiant, constant, but a little scorching if you’re exposed for too long. They are not cold or cruel in the way many think, but more so just relentlessly responsible and maybe a little overbearing in their crusade to improve everything and everyone. These people like things done a certain way and expect everyone else to get with the program. To say they are high-strung and conscientious would be an understatement

The Sun woman and Moon man make an interesting but complicated pair. The Sun woman is steady, intense, and demanding, and she thrives on engagement and forward momentum. She wants commitment and reliability from her partner and expects them to show up as consistently as she does. She’s used to pushing for things to move in a linear fashion, and she thrives on being seen and validated for her efforts. On the other hand, Moon Men can be incredibly intense when they’re engaged, putting in 300% effort when they feel connected, but when their emotional interest wanes, they naturally retreat, sometimes unpredictably. This can make their investment feel inconsistent. Like you’re getting all of them one minute, and the next, they’re emotionally distant or just… faded. This sudden fading, especially when the Moon man emotionally disconnects, can be incredibly jarring for the Sun Woman.

This dynamic can be especially challenging because Moon Men tend to pull away when things are going well, which creates a push-pull effect. This can leave the Sun woman feeling confused and neglected. Interestingly, Sun women aren't always great at maintaining healthy boundaries. They may stay in a bad relationship, even when they’re unhappy. They have difficulty admitting or even acknowledging it, but they thrive on external validation; they need to feel needed, and Moon men are the best at providing this validation when they’re emotionally present. Moon men want to be worshipped. They have an inherent desire to be revered and admired, seeking that sense of devotion from those close to them. They want to be the focal point of admiration and care, which Sun women give them readily. But that's another issue of contention. Moon men like when people play hard to get and they have to entice the person to love them. So it is usually at times when the Sun woman has gotten so frustrated with the relationship and starts to ignore him that he shows the most interest, drawing her right back in. It's a paradox, I know. I'm not sure it is super healthy for either of them, but as I mentioned before in another comment, any pairing can work if both parties are putting in the effort. I'm not sure if I would say they are naturally compatible though.