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#they’re good kids your honor!
msfcatlover · 1 month
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(Theoretical possible endgame)
“And how, exactly, did you all make it back here?” Bruce asks his children (children, not even all of them according to the Robins—Robins, that’s another thing that Bruce is going to blame his oncoming headache on. What were any of his future selves thinking?)
“A blood ritual,” Dick answers confidently.
“Alien cube,” Jason says at the same time, shrugging.
“Techno-magical chemical reaction,” Timothy says, raising his voice to be heard over the others.
“Iseki bullshit,” Stephanie & Damian say in perfect unison (as though that’s supposed to explain anything,) before turning to stare at eachother—also in perfect unison—with identical looks of shock. 
(Damian’s face splits into a wide smile as he holds out one hand. Stephanie glances at it, her lips pressed into a thin line, before passing Damian a quick low-five. They both flip their hands back up in fists to rap their knuckles against eachother.
“Hell yeah,” Damian whispers, his smile somehow even brighter than before. Stephanie’s mouth twitches and she gives Damian another tap.)
“…Of course,” Bruce says in the flat tone that only Dick should know means Bruce is utterly lost & out of his depth, but which has five mischievous sets of eyes sparkling at him.
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todolist-nothing07 · 4 months
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MAN F%@K SUPERNATURAL
I was over here minding my business hanging out in the mauraders fandom and the merlin fandom and just chillin and then I see one (1) edit and I’m sucked back in. Fu*k me man.
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vampcaprisun · 8 months
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ren just adopted a gith baby and an owlbear cub in the same day, and all i can think about is halsin (who famously loves animals so much he can turn into them and loves kids so much he ends up as a dad to dozens of them) watching this happen and having to fight for his fucking life to not break his “no boyfriend until the shadow curse is broken” rule on the spot
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skyward-floored · 10 months
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You! Who is your favorite Link and why?
They’re all my favorite but I usually find myself coming back to this guy
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As for why? Well. Look at him.
He’s so cool and capable but a sweetheart and cuddles with animals and can be a wolf and is so stubborn and heartbroken and strong and knows all sorts of crazy sword techniques. He’s awesome.
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atwistedtaurus · 1 year
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Sketch/colored profiles of my OCs: Murdoch Cowl (top left), Gregori Wyrd (top right), and Eadie Winsgrave (bottom).
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un-pearable · 2 years
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📁 and lloyd too actually
well crap i’ve already regaled you with the lloyd’s (jay’s) DS saga so… building from that clip from skybound i love the idea that lloyd’s sense of humor is the most off-color of any of the ninja. not just cringeworthy but full-on “yikes, i hate that that’s funny.” he was the kind of kid who whipped out the dead baby jokes in middle school. whether it’s darkley’s or inherited or whatever he’s really funny in a slightly insensitive way - later on he’s fully aware of it and knows it’s definitely something that is NOT a good idea for their public images but he never fails to send jay into hysterics
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springflwer · 10 months
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I just love how they always visit Children’s hospitals ����
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saucingitup · 3 months
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Kraken broadcaster JT Brown shares why Pride is so important to him and why he’ll be celebrating the LGBTQ+ community all month long
June is an exciting month. There’s Stanley Cup final hockey on the TV, the sun is shining down on Seattle, I hit the links on Father’s Day, and it's Pride month—a month dedicated to celebrating the LGBTQ+ community and commemorating the 1969 Stonewall Uprising in Manhattan. In our house, June is a busy month, but nothing gets celebrated harder than Pride.
Earlier this month, I had the honor of playing in the Seattle Pride Classic at the Kraken Community Iceplex. The invitation to share the ice with LGBTQ+ players from all over is an honor I don’t take lightly. Striking up a conversation on the bench between shifts, I turned to the player next to me. “Nice tape job. Canucks fan?” I said, noting the different colors of tape spiraling down the blade. “No, these colors represent one of the queer flags,” they said.
The bad news is I felt like an idiot. The good news is, I’ll always recognize that flag. Trying means stumbling, losing the puck, shooting wide (pick your analogy), but I’ve never been too proud to admit I caused the turnover and apologize. And we both laughed because sometimes falling on your ass is funny.
From ice to asphalt, the Pride celebration continues as my family and I will be at the 50th annual Seattle Pride Parade on June 30. As someone who is known for their flair for flashy game-day suits, it should not come as a surprise that I love an excuse to get dressed up. Throw in good music and free swag and you’ll understand why I don’t miss a pride parade.
And no one does pride quite like Seattle. It’s no wonder the Kraken pull up to the parade every year with a crew so deep I momentarily worry we’re going to hold up the parade. We’re out there flinging Kraken giveaways like someone is keeping score of how many each employee can hand out—I always aim for the high score.
Of course, being an ally isn't just flinging Kraken patches into a crowd or embarrassingly mistaking flag colors for rival team branding. A lot of it is just showing up.
I show up for my queer wife so she knows I support her even if I still don’t understand what “Brat summer” means. I show up for my kids so they know I love their authentic selves no matter what. I show up for my friends so they know they’re safe with me. I show up because there are LGBTQ+ people out there who are being stood up by the ones they love, by policies, by corporations, by strangers.
People always praise me for being an ally, but having been on the receiving end of bigotry, I know how much easier it is to stand on this side. When I fight for BIPOC equality, I am always lifted by the voices and support of the LGBTQ+ community. Every single time, they have supported me in my fight to help end racism in hockey.
They have been incredible teammates to me and so being one to them was never a choice I made, it was just something I did—and will continue to do with whatever platform I’m given. Everyone deserves the safety and support to live their authentic lives. When we lift up those who need us most, we all reap the benefits of a safer and more inclusive space.
This Pride month, I’d like to encourage others to show up—unabashedly loud and proud—for yourself and for others. Have a happy, safe, and fun Pride!
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ghostfacd · 9 months
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LIVE LAUGH, SCREAM! | TOM BLYTH
pairing. tom blyth x fem!actress!reader
summary. where one comment could lead into an internet feud between tom blyth and yn avocot, resulting in them falling inlove ?!
author’s note. [ THIS TAKES PLACE BEFORE YN AND TOM STARTED DATING ] thank you to the nonnie that said yn gives off scream vibes bc they’re the reason i even made this post in the first place! 🤭
installment of this au | read for context
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ynuser scream bts (you’re welcome!)
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jennaortega did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
➥ jackchampion no but it might’ve when she stabbed u in the movie
➥ ynuser JACK 😭😭
user1 jenna flirting, jack teasing, I LOVE THIS CAST YOUR HONOR
user2 okay but literally your performance was just chefs kiss 😭 PLEASE tell me you’re starting in other movies as well bae
➥ ynuser oh thank you!! im so honored you enjoyed it ❤️ I will get back to you on your question!! 👀
➥ user3 OMGG YN IN ANOTHER FILM WOULD BE KILLER
➥ user4 well actually 🤓☝️ she was one of the ghostface in the film which means she actually was a killer
user5 @/user4 bye
tomblyth amazing film
➥ ynuser thanks
➥ user6 THANKS?? THANKS?! girl that’s tom blyth
➥ ynuser @/user6 who?
user7 no way this girl just asked who tom blyth is
➥ user8 well can u blame her tho?? he’s in like what, billy the kid or whatever? it’s not that known..
➥ user9 nah girl stars in one film and thinks she’s all that 😭
rachelzegler YOU DID SO GOOD GIRL 💕
➥ ynuser rachel my love 😭😭❤️
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tomblyth who am I? well now you know
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user10 oh he’s so fine
user11 LMFAOO is this a jab at yn not knowing who you are
user12 show that girl 🤭🤭 she thinks she’s all that after getting one acting gig
➥ user13 y’all are so obsessed with her hello..
ynuser sure. now i know
➥ user14 oh im having so much fun watching all this go down
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ynuser more bts because i love scream 6 and so should you!
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tomblyth yeah the movie’s cool and all but how abt i treat you out for dinner?
➥ user15 HELLO???
user16 enemies to lovers era ?
user17 pls lord get these two together
jackchampion say yes to the dinner invite and bring me back steak
➥ ynuser 🤨🤨
➥ jackchampion and a vanilla soda too please
user18 i love jack n yn’s friendship
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ynuser and tomblyth both posted a story!
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ynuser eating sushi and then putting on some comfy pjs is a great way to spend a day
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user19 the way tom also posted sushi pics very similar to what she’s eating…
➥ user20 WHY IS NOBODY MENTIONING THE MATCHING HOTDOG STORY POSTS AS WELL 😭😭😭
user21 pjs TOGETHER?! im afraid we’ve lost her
user22 everybody knows.. everybody knows
jackchampion splendid way to spend the day
➥ user23 what if it’s jack?? tom and yn don’t even fw each other LOL
➥ user24 true. he did ask her for dinner tho
➥ user25 who wouldn’t? she’s yn.
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Eclaté_Mode On this new episode of BTS With Your Favorites, Tom Blyth dishes on his skincare routine, how he keeps himself productive during breaks, and his internet rivalry with actress, Y/N Avocot. Full video linked in bio
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user26 THE WAY HE COMPLIMENTS YN this is definitely enemies to lovers
user27 “me and yn have exciting need to share soon” excuse me
user28 so they inlove or what
user29 yn fell inlove with a brit man it’s over for US
user30 WAIT WHAT DOES HE MEANNNN
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tomblyth well surprise. enemies to lovers much?
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ynuser nice pic send me it
user31 WAITT RACHEL HIM AND YN IN A FILM?? did not expect this..
user32 hold awn..
user33 is this confirmation they’re dating
➥ ynuser we aren’t dating.
➥ rachelzegler yet.
➥ user34 RACHEL???
rachelzegler you’re welcome for this crossover, i encouraged both of them to audition for the role
➥ user35 WE LOVE RACHEL ZEGLER
jennaortega take care of my gf 😽
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bruciemilf · 1 month
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I know this is a DC blog but I NEED dad Logan. Get that murder teddy bear some kids ASAP.
Fancast + non canon Headcanons ahead.
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BOBBY MY BELOVED / 16
“Sure everything in my life is terrible. But at LEAST I’m gay”
Makes pop culture references Logan doesn’t understand. “Logan threw the first brick at stonewall” “what are you SAYING” “he’s an ally”
Can, will, and has gaslight Logan into thinking he’s homophobic just for not letting Bobby do what he wants
Stole a beer from Logan once and they found him drunk crying at 3 am. He calls Logan to apologize about it. “I’m sO sorryyy. You know I love you??” “Go to bed” “noOoo” Logan is next to him.
Has a secret YouTube channel and everyone watches for Logan interactions specifically
Mabel Pines coded
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KITTY… that’s his half pint your honor. / 17
Logan is terrified. Why are you such an easy kid. Why aren’t you rebelling? Why isn’t defiance bleeding on your fists?
Why aren���t you clawing and biting and snarling for your freedom? Why aren’t you being a kid? Who do I have to skin-
Daughters are not supposed to exist quietly.
I hc that Kitty’s family is extremely unsupportive of her being a mutant, — but they’re just traditional in general. Specifically she’s petrified of being around/existing along men.
Certified babysitter when Logan’s not around. She’s so big sister.
“guys!1!11!!!! mr. Logan said not to do that!1!1!1”
Logan BEGS her to be a shitty teenager for like 10 minutes. Be bratty!!! Tell him to fuck off! Throw a tantrum!!!! “But I’m not a kid.” “You’re MY kid.”
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JUBILEEE daddy’s girl / 15
Problem Child TM
Plays Rock n Roll by Avril Lavigne at 4 am to piss Logan and her siblings off when they annoy her
Grounded all the time but if she fake cries Logan will shamefully relent.
Always puts Logan’s patience to the test because she anticipates him leaving/giving up on her
Foster child with issues. She spent half her life looking for people and the other half being abandoned by them. This won’t be any different.
Except Logan is very good at fighting destiny.
Your honor I don’t CARE Logan is made to be a girl dad!!!!
“On the spectrum. Not saying which one”
STRONG she/they energy
Most affectionate with Logan out of all the kiddos. Her love language is terrible pancake making (Logan eats them anyway) and cat cuddling.
ADHD icon
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LAURA (murder baby) / 7
Brings dead birds/mice to her family members (affectionate)
Charles has the bright idea to enroll her in school with the kids. “It’s important for children to socialize with peers their own ages.” “Can’t socialize if they’re all DEAD.”
That meme of the little boy and his father with an arrow in his shoulder
Youngest child privilege
Steals Bobby’s phone and shoot’s hilariously off angle family vlogs. One of them includes her stealing Logan’s motorcycle while he runs after her
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formulafics · 1 year
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★ ADORE YOU | OP81
Scenario: in which oscar piastri has a crush on the grids sweetheart and mercedes’ rookie. (requested)
Pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader
A/N: I love all requests, but this one is a favorite. I hope everyone enjoys!!
requests open for smau’s | check pinned for more info
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oscarpiastri
losail international circuit
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liked by landonorris, mclaren, georgerussel63, mclaren, danielricciardo and 281,157 others
oscarpiastri f1 race winner has a nice ring to it 🧡
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landonorris congrats mate! deserve it 👊🏼
⤷ oscarpiastri thanks mate 👊🏻
mclaren YES, YES IT DOES. 👏 so good today, oscar! 🧡
⤷ oscarpiastri thanks guys 🧡
yn_mercedesf1 congratulations, oscar! it was an honor going wheel to wheel with you today - i’m in awe of your talent. a well deserved win, and the start of many for you. 🫶🏻🧡
⤷ oscarpiastri thank you so much yn! i can say the same for you.
piastripastryf1 STOP YN IS SO SWEET ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW
⤷ norrisnation oscar’s response 😭 this is not helping my delusions in thinking they’re interested in each other
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yn_mercedesf1
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liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon, mclaren, landonorris, charles_leclerc, macusarmstrong, and 134,562 others
yn_mercedesf1 my september photo dump but it’s 19 days late AND only oscar.
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oscarpiastri 🧡
⤷ yn_mercedesf1 love you osc
landonorris he’s a little awkward but he’s cool
⤷ yn_mercedesf1 i think it’s cute ☹️ i adore him
f1rookiesupremacy NOOO yn loves oscar so much my chest hurts
⤷ ynworld have you seen the way oscar looks at her though?
landoxoscar is this the yn oscar dating confirmation? right here right now?
⤷ yn_mercedes yes, yes it is. ☺️
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all feedback is appreciated!
in case you didn’t see it at the top, my requests are open for smau’s! please refer to my pinned post for more info
🧡
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sinning-23 · 5 months
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Baby Mama (OPLA HEADCANNONS)
In honor of mothers day, here some little headcannons I cooked up for our faves! Hope yall enjoy lol
Luffy
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-This mf was like...actually capable of conceiving a child lmao.
-There was really no like initial shock, it was more like overwhelming joy? There was honestly no need to reveal it to the rest of the crew since the second you told him he shouted it loud ad fucing possible.
-"Luffy, uhhh I think im pregnant." You huff, hand over your forehead as you try to figure out the next course of action.
"YOURE PREGNANT?! THATS GREAT!"
"Y/N IS WHAT?" Nami gasps, eyes flitting form you to Luffy, then to your belly.
"YOU’RE PREGNANT?! HOW?" Usopp questions, only to have Sanji interrupt,
"Well Usopp, when two people love eachother- or well... lets talk about he birds and the bee-"
"I KNOW HOW THAT WORKS DICKHEAD-"
-Luffy is a.....he's a great dad, just a little uhhhh...wild?
-You have to explain tho him that this baby cannot fucking eat solid food.
-He's learning and that’s all that matters. He knows when to get serious about his kid and when its okay to be a lil silly.
-Oh and be prepared for when your kid hits about 6-7 cause they're so much like their father its crazy-
Zoro
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-He's thuroughly convinced its your fault because he knows for a fact he has impeccable pull out.
-"That’s not mine." He hums, pointing at the newborn with a raise brow.
The fucking liar this baby is his spitting image. Like your genes didn't evens stand a chance. The baby even fucking mean mugs like he does, that lil stoic face.
-"This isn’t yours?" You question, holding the baby up side by side with his obvious father.
"Nope"
-Once he’s like fully processed and accepted the fact that your pussy just so happened to weaken his pull out game, he will claim the child and make sure he's being helpful with both you and the infant.
-It was actually pretty fucking hilarious to see the baby try and latch to his nipple cause his tits are fucking massive. Heeee didn’t think it was that funny tho💀
-Just let the kid grow up a little bit and they’re all about their father, and even though he may not show it all the time, he adores his baby. And they will always be a baby in his eyes. And he things you’re a phenomenal mother even though it was sort of a surprise.
Nami
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-You had come aboaded with a toddler. And sure enough they latched to Nami in a heartbeat.
-“AHT! No, you stay with me and let them work.” You reprimand, giving a quick apology to the tangarine haired girl.
“Oh no they’re okay. Hey, you wanna see something cool?” He hum, taking the 2 year old by the hand before you can protest.
-Auntie Nami accidentally turned to ‘mamami’ (Mama Nami) andddd it just stuck.
-one night the three of you had fall asleep in Nami’squarter and she had woke up and just, admires you both. She couldn’t help the way her chest squeezed when she thought about raising this child with you or how much she loved being a part of your lives.
Your eyes flutter open and you give her a knowing look, her face already tinted pink.
“Nami,” you begin, your free hand pushing hair behind her ear as she hold your wrist, placing a kiss there.
“Thank you, love you.” You hum, letting yourself fall back asleep.
-yeah she’s stuck with you two for life
-unironically calls you her baby mama
Usopp
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-is literally the best fuckinf dad. Literally ever.
-he wants to make sure he’s an active part of your child’s life, being sure to keep you both in good health and high spirits.
-when you broke the news he was terrified. How good of a father could he be? He just don’t want to let you down.
-“W-What if our kid hates me?” He voices one night, hands holding your tummy.
“I doubt that’ll happen. You’ll be okay Uso.”
-Guess having impeccable aim runs in the family because by time your child is year they’re already throwing projectiles with phenomenal accuracy.
-you can’t tell me he doesn’t make most of your babies toys.
-he loves seeing you just have little moments with your baby, he definetly cried when they took their first steps.
-keeps a picture of the three of you tucked away
-hints at wanting another one from time to time
Sanji
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-fainted when you told him.
-honestly he’s a little shocked. He didn’t really put ‘father’ on his goal list but here yall are lol
-he’s very supported and knows that morning sickness is a bitchhhh
-“how’re my girls…or boy” he greets, pressing a kiss to your tummy then to your lips.
-much to his surprise, he was right on both parts because you’re having twins! Yayyyyy
-you cuss him out when your in labor.
-“SANJI YOU ASSHOLE! YOU DID THIS TO ME! WHY DID I FALL FOR YOUR DELICIOUS FOOD YOU FUCK!”
-he’s not allowed in the delivery room lmao he fainted again when the nurse asked if he’d like to see what was goin on
-after 6 horrendous hours, your baby boy and girl are finally born and he’s too delighted.
-“good job baby.” He praises, peppering your tired face with kisses.
-when the kids are older he’s always falling victim to their puppy eyes and begging when they ask for dessert before dinner
-“please dad! We won’t tell mom! Pleaseeee!”
-he loves being with you and loves that he’s been blasted with a wonderful wife and two beautiful children
Shanks
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-oh the minute he found out he was stunned! He was sure he already had an illegitimate baby somewhere but for one of the baby mamas to actually let him know was, a bit of a surprised?
-and that’s it. He doesn’t really go out of his way to go visit and see if it’s true. He goes on about his business truely.
-one day, he comes across a lady at a bar, her bright red hair thrown up and she waits tables, her gaze almost immediately locking on his as she frowns
-….what the fuck she looks just like him.
-she goes to a couple other of the waiters/waitresses and the minute they catch his gaze they’re nodding profusely at her.
-it took, shit you not. 3 hours for them to get a table and that was only because her boss came in and MADE her seat the crew.
-“what do you want.” She huffs, her notepad clenched so tight it crumples the paper.
Shanks only further studies the girl, her rage ever present as she slams the notepad down.
“I SAID, What. Do. You. Want. Quickly, or I’m leaving you here to wait 3 more hours. Spit it the fuck out you old bastard.” She spits, leaving him somewhat shocked.
-“How about the-“
-“we’re all out. Deadbeat.” She finishes, dropping her apron and notepad, then walking out.
Safe to say that wasn’t the reaction he was expecting.
-when he finds where you guys live and YOU answer the door thank god, he firstly apologizes (which you don’t accept right away) and explains how he already met your daughter.
Speak of the devil she had just rounded the corner asking who it was.
“Don’t let this fucker the house mom, please.” She begs, gaze flittering form you to her sperm donor.
-yeahhhhhh this is why he hardly ever makes the effort to see his unsuspecting kids. Doesn’t quite pan out how he thinks.
Mihawk
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- you’re not the only one at all. He’s got plenty fucking kids running around and you’re fully aware of that, having run into more than one child that looks just mf like him.
-he won’t deny any of them, but he doesn’t feel like he owes them anything either? It’s weird and you usually feel bad that he picked you and your child when he could very well have done that for the rest of them.
-he often assures you that we’re were one night stand situations he hardly remembers after being so damn drunk.
-he’s a good dad though and a great husband. He makes sure you’re taken care of even is he’s gone a lot of the time. When you told him you were having a baby he didn’t leave from your side.
-when the baby is born he’s a bit suprised they don’t look like him but as soon as they open their eyes he’s so mf smug. Those eyes are a dead giveaways that’s his baby.
-don’t let that baby ask for something be used Mihawk will without a doubt give it to them no matter what.
-“Honey I-“
-there standing in front of the fridge, in laminated with its light are your husband and child. Their eyes wide like an owls, staring directly into your soul.
-“We wanted ice cream.”
Buggy
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-he loves his babies. Hands down loves his fucking babies. Plural because of course you were blessed/cursed with triplets.
-two boys, one sweet girl, and not one of them look like their daddy, besides that faint tint of blue in their hair.
-and he’s maddddd, well. not at you but at his genes.
-“honey wait, they might just grow into it?” You encourage, trying not to laugh as he tried to figure out why his kids don’t look like him.
-thank god you were right because by time they were all 4/5 that blue had brightened and the little red glow of their noses were ever present.
-he’s so attentive with you, taking care of the three of them when you need rest or just in general cause how gorgeous wife needs rest after making three gorgeous babies
-freaks his babies out when he takes his head off
-then they won’t leave him the fuck alone about it and will often take pieces of him while he chases them around for them back.
-his babies get their own spot on the show and it fucking adorable watching toddlers dance to circus music with face paint they insisted they do themselves
-best dad buggy 100%
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urhoneycombwitch · 3 months
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heated touch
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foreword: “but Lulu it’s not even summer yet how come you wrote a pool fic” okay first of all global warming. it’s absolutely summer rn. hush up and eat up. 👼
cw: R wears bikini top + skirt, Eddie is Down Bad™️, and is also touchstarved, brief use of the awkward miscommunication trope, R’s baby hairs mentioned but no color or texture, weed mention (Robin is a stoner canon change my mind u can’t), R uses sunscreen (no skin color mentioned), implied plus-sized reader
wc: 3.4k
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It’s the first real, normal, non-apocalyptic summer that anyone can remember having in a long, long time. 
With the heat index at a sizzling 97 today, various members of the Party have taken over Steve’s half-shaded, half-pool extravaganza of a backyard. The kids are jumping in and out of the bright blue water, splashing and cackling, while you and Robin stretch out like house cats in a sunny patch of grass nearby.
You, mere yards away, in a swim top and sweet little pleated tennis skirt. All that lovely skin on display, glistening in the light. 
And Eddie is sulking, indoors, frozen with lovesickness. There’s condensation dripping from the forgotten can of beer in his left hand; through the window above the kitchen sink, Eddie observes the scene in mournful silence.
“Christ, you really are a pussy.”
Eddie whips around with a glare that would level a normal human being, shushing Steve with a panicked fierceness that only makes the guy chuckle harder at Eddie’s expense. 
“Y’know,” Steve continues with the insults, dipping into the fridge and reappearing with a Fanta and a shit-eating grin- “You might want to try leering like a creep from the garage window. That way no will hear you jack off-”
“Oh, shut the fuck up, Harrington.” Eddie interrupts with a grade-A scoff and eye roll combo, rivaling Steve’s own bitchiness. “Wasn’t your last successful date back in high school, like, six years ago when you had better hair?”
Steve doesn’t even flinch. With condescending sympathy, he sighs and shakes his head of (beautiful-even-when-wet, damn him) hair, snapping the soda can tab with a flourish. “Might wanna hurry up and make a move. Can’t suppress my charm forever just ‘cuz you’re too chicken to man up- it’s not natural to keep all of this hidden away.”
Steve gestures to the broad expanse of his golden chest, dark thicket of hair sitting proud, the scars that he seems to have no qualms over showing off criss-cross along the flex of muscle at his sides. 
Realistically, Eddie knows Steve wouldn’t go after you, not even as a joke. It would defy the honorable and unmentioned Bro Code they’ve lived by ever since Eddie almost died in an alternate hell dimension and Steve valiantly pulled him back topside. 
Teasing, though? It’s Harrington’s godgiven right- especially since Eddie’s so hopelessly in love. It’s almost too easy to get him riled up, to light a fire under his ass to maybe finally get the situation some forward movement. 
Flames lick at the kindling. Steve walks backwards, shooting Eddie one last finger gun and wink before rejoining the boisterous outdoors crowd. Through the crack Steve’s left in the sliding glass door, Eddie can hear that asshole’s cheery voice ring out- “Lookin’ good, ladies!”- and your subsequent peal of laughter. 
Eddie can feel the heat through the black denim at his ass, sweat rushing to prickle at his pits underneath the light layer of tanktop- the one with a high-necked collar and sides long enough to conceal most of his scars. 
Not that he’s trying to hide ‘em, perse... they’re just sensitive to the sun. Plus his black jeans have holes in them, so they totally count as summer attire. He’s basically wearing shorts right now. Steve can suck it.
“Suck it, Steve,” Eddie grits out to no one for good measure, before taking a steadying gulp of beer and stepping bravely out beyond the glass doors. 
It’s shockingly bright, sun bouncing off the surface of the pool and rendering Eddie momentarily blind; he shields his eyes with his free hand in time to catch the tail end of Sinclair’s mid-air somersault.
“Five,” Max calls out, lounging safely out of the splash zone, waves from Lucas’s cannonball lapping at her pink donut pool float. Thick black prescription sunglasses take up half her face, expression unmoved even as her boyfriend splutters in the deep end.
“Are you kidding?” Lucas is indignant as he huffs and treads water. “Gimme at least an eight. Did you even see the flip?” 
“I saw it.” Unimpressed, Max shrugs a freckled shoulder. While Lucas devolves into swearing out his complaints (already with one elbow planted on the concrete to get out and make another attempt at a higher score), Max zeros in on Eddie, one brow arched high in searing appraisal. “You gonna swim with your boots on, too?”
“I’m- shut up, Red. Nice donut.”
Max’s triumphant smirk confirms what Eddie already knows (he totally bombed that comeback), but if there’s one thing in the world Eddie’s good at, it’s Pretending. A trait forged and perfected over the years of being reigning Dungeon Master; it’s served him well during D&D sessions, and when running from the law. 
And it’s coming in handy now, too, as Eddie walks past Steve (half-snoozing in a lounger) and the table of Baby Byers and Wheeler Jr. (playing an intense game of Slapjack), pretending to be totally Normal and Chill as he approaches you and Robin, a ways off from the bustling pool.
Go with what you know, Eddie tells himself, because if he focuses for more than two seconds on the fact that you’re stretched prone, sunlight filtering through the big tree overhead and illuminating the soft curves of your thighs just visible under the Spandex hem of your skirt, he’s gonna have a pressing issue that will be anything but pretend.
Robin’s lying on her back on the beach towel next to yours, a tattered copy of Pride and Prejudice held up close, obscuring her field of vision. Using this to his advantage, Eddie crouches on his haunches, then leans in to press his cold can of beer to the tender arch of Robin’s bare foot.
She yelps, kicking out on instinct (which Eddie was expecting). He manages to take the brunt of the hit with a forearm block, but doesn’t see the paperback coming until it’s hitting the side of his face.
“Ow, christ, Buckley,” he moans, slumping to sit on Robin’s towel, hamming up the victim act for your sake and sympathy while Robin snatches up her book and gives him another solid thwack, pages fluttering.
At the commotion, you’d lifted your head from your arms, leaning into them now with the weight of your upper half. Eddie tries really, really valiantly to not stare at your swimsuit top (practically a bra), and instead distracts himself with the fact that you were giggling. At him. 
Give the boy an inch and he’ll take a mile, Wayne is wont to say of his nephew. Never been truer than now, as Eddie gets drunk off your attention and humors, crowding familiarly and rudely into Robin’s space just to piss her off more and to keep your twinkling-eyed focus.
“Yech.” Robin gags. “I’m not gonna sit here and watch you two flirt up close. I just ate lunch.”
Eddie’s worried that comment will embarrass you into pulling away but apparently, you’re not shying from the accusations of his affection anymore. 
A snort and a sardonic eye roll is what you dish back, and Eddie latches on, delighted to have a Shit Starter in Crime, pushing an honest hand to his chest in faux-shock- “Flirting? Me? I’d never. What an accusation. You’re getting crazier by the day, Buckley.”
The peal of laughter that ripples from you is like a song, vibrating the frequencies between Eddie’s ears, scrambling all the channels with its aching beauty.
Goddamn addictive, he thinks, as the white-out of his hearing fades back to normal. A light, warm wind rustles through the big oak overhead, leaves shushing together; allowing himself a glance at your stretched form, Eddie’s (un)luckily close enough to see the smattering of goosebumps rise on the skin of your arms. 
To observe the way sweat curls the baby hairs near your temple, at the nape of your neck. To see the little creases near the corner of your eyes as you close them, turning your face into the wind, a quiet expression of summer bliss on your face.
Eddie could sit here for hours like a (happy) creep just taking in every minute detail, but Robin starts bitching at him about the weed he still owes her from ages ago, poking her cold toes into the holes of his jeans, mischievous and irritating.
Eddie smacks at her ankles until she pulls them back, matching her argument point for point; it’s not about the weed, of which he’d gladly give- it’s about keeping that smile on your face even as you sit up to start digging through your nearby tote bag.
“And plus,” Robin’s saying, sticking a finger into the dimple of Eddie’s left cheek like the obnoxious little sister he never asked for, “You scratched the everliving hell out of my bike last month when you insisted you were sober enough to ride it home.”
“What’d you want me to do, drink and drive? Not very Just Say No Club of you.” Eddie is operating on autopilot with his responses, absorbed in the way your delicate fingers move inside the canvas of the bag. 
“I wanted the same thing that I currently. Want.” Two more ice-cold prods of her toes into the same spot of his exposed knee. “Three grams, pre-rolled, plus an apology.”
Eddie is about to give in with the promise of the rest of his sizable stash and a bike waxing regimine with his own spit thrown into the mix to get Robin off his case, when the sound of your voice cuts through the bickering. 
In your hand, held aloft and out between the three of you, is a bottle of sun lotion. Your focus is fixed on shaking displaced items back into your bag, not looking as you make a request:
“Babe, would you do my back?”
Eddie moves on instinct before he even has time to process the ask, reaching out towards the palm tree-printed plastic- but for some reason, Robin’s hand collides with his mid-air. Goddammit, Buckley. 
His annoyance at Robin quickly gives way to confusion, then roiling embarrassment as two sets of eyes whip to him, your mouth slightly parted in an o shape and Robin making a squeak of awkward alarm.
You were talking to Robin. Obviously, you were talking to your girl friend to rub you down with lotion. 
Jesus christ, Munson, get a grip.
Eddie lets go at the same time Robin and you draw back, the three of you stammering half-sentences over the thunk of the bottle hitting the ground.
“I meant- sorry, god, sorry, I meant Robin-”
“Fucking- jesus, of course you meant Robin, I’m sorry-”
“Oh god! I can do it! It’s fine!”
There’s a brief pause where all of you stare down at the bottle, as if it holds some great mystery of the world. Or is perhaps concealing a time-bending device that will let Eddie go back twenty seconds to kick himself in the head.
He’s just about to make some lame excuse to fuck off forever when Robin beats him to it, jumping up with a spastic, nervous energy. “Um. Steve’s calling me. So I gotta… see what that dingus wants. You’re good?”
This last part, directed at you; with a quick, reassuring nod, you say “I’m good.” 
Seemingly recouped from the whole debacle, you squint up at Robin- “Eddie’s got it,” and then fixing Eddie with a disarmingly beatific smile- “Right?”
It’s like looking into the sun. Eddie is pretty sure his neurons haven’t been firing properly ever since he caught a glimpse of your thighs earlier. By some miracle, he manages coherence- “Uh-huh. Yep. Right.”
“O-o-kay.” Robin lets the word expand, then gives a dorky two-finger salute and makes for the empty pool lounger next to a snoring Steve.
Then it’s just you and Eddie, blinking at each other from your seats on opposing towels, until you lean to pick up the bottle, this time handing it directly to him. 
An invitation, paired with a smile that still pulls at the corners of your mouth.
Someone jumps noisily into the pool, a few scattered cheers accompanying the crashing water. Red’s distant “Nine-five!” echoes through the backyard and this, of all things, spurs Eddie into unfreezing.
He takes the proffered lotion, shifting to kneel in the strip of grass not covered by either of your towels, waiting and watching for your approval. 
Like something out of a dream, you lower yourself face-down again, hands tucking themselves sweetly into the space between the hollows of your shoulders and the ground. Eyes half-lidded as Eddie scooches closer.
“Just on your back?” He asks, soft, like you’re a deer about to spook (although based on the way his hands are trembling, Eddie’s the more likely candidate for chickening out and running for the hills).
“Mhm. Please.”
Fumbling under your sidelong gaze, Eddie wiggles all the rings from his fingers, stuffing them into his pocket. 
“Too cold,” he explains, feeling fidgety from your eye contact, rubbing his hands together briskly to bring out the warmth and give them something to do other than shake.
Eddie pines for a cigarette, a quick burst of nicotine to steel his nerves. Instead, he picks up the sunscreen, squeezes a quarter-sized puddle into his left hand, and shifts to kneel close as he can without actually bumping his knees into your side.
The sunscreen is already warmed from being out in the heat of the day, so Eddie starts on your left shoulder. Dips his fingers into the puddle, spreads a thin layer on the blade of your shoulder, and rubs it in. 
At first, his touch is gentle and apprehensive, but when your eyes drift shut on the second pass of his fingers, Eddie gets a bit bolder. On your right shoulder, another layer of suncream goes on, but this time, Eddie lets his thumb slip into the grooves under your shoulder blade. 
He runs his thumb along the stripe of muscle next to your scapula, still with pressure light enough to feign keeping to his task, thrilled when you make a soft noise of satisfaction.
“I would’ve asked you, y’know.” 
Eddie pauses, hand resting at the top of your spine, the skin of your neck freshly glistening and tacky from his work. “Asked me what?”
“To do this.” You shrug a shoulder, pointing in a roundabout way at your back. “I just… I didn’t think you’d say yes.”
“Why the hell would I say no to this?” The words are out before Eddie can bite them back and find a much more cool and normal thing to say. He can feel your chuckle, the vibrations of it, the way it causes the muscles in your upper back to move.
Eddie tries to cover his lameness by refocusing on the mission he’s been given, like a heroic knight bestowed with a great honor by a fair maiden… on second thought, he’s got to cut out the fantasy metaphors. This situation is wild and tempting enough as-is without adding a potentially very horny layer to the mix.
“You can get under my top, if you want,” you murmur, lashes dark against your cheek in profile, voice all honeyed and fair-maiden-like. 
Eddie swallows hard. Distributes the rest of the lotion between two palms, rests them just below the black fabric, and then slides up. Underneath the top, your skin is the same- smooth and pliant and sweet. 
“Feels nice,” you whisper, eyes still closed in reverie, sounding sleepy and relaxed.
Eddie is entranced with the way your muscles move under his touch. He applies a bit more pressure to the mid-back area of your spine, dragging his thumbs down on either side. You make another noise, this one closer to a moan, and Eddie’s really glad he’s practiced at the skill of Boner Killer On Command because he wouldn’t dare sully the atmosphere with ill-timed arousal (though his limits are certainly being tested today).
“Sorry about the callouses,” he says, a bit of self-deprecation to fill the air because he’s gotta focus on something other than the way his hand fits perfectly in the center of your low back.
“S’okay. I like them, actually. You’re good with your hands.”
Not for the first time, Eddie is relieved that you’re not looking at him- his ears are burning, on their way to bright pink. Same with his cheeks. “Cool, yeah. That’s good. Um. I play guitar, y’know so… I get around.”
After cringing at himself, Eddie watches the apple of your cheek round upwards with a smile, a sharp flash of your teeth as you say, “I can tell.”
There’s an amiable quiet that falls over the two of you; in the background, splashes and chattering from the pool group float in the air, muted by the warm winds shushing through overhead branches. 
At one point, Eddie realizes he’s covered your whole back in sunscreen and is now just trailing his fingertips over the notches of your spine, starting low and ending near your neck, following the path down again in a loop. If you mind, you don’t say anything, seemingly sated by his touch. 
There’s an aching behind Eddie’s ribs. It squeezes at his heart, makes his next breath pinch- he wants to touch you like this all the time. He’s already hooked. 
All too soon, you’re peeling yourself from the blanket, sitting up with a sheepish smile. Eddie can’t tell if you’re getting shy on him from the touch alone, or if it’s the fact that he’s the one that’s been touching. 
Either way, if Eddie could find a more chill way to say “I’d like to do that every minute for the rest of my life if you’ll let me,” he’d say it to appease any worries you may have. 
Bare knees pulled to your chest, you gesture at the bottle still in Eddie’s hand. “I could… do you, if you wanted?”
Eddie scratches the back of his neck, through the heated curtain of curls. “Nah, that’s okay. My abs won’t be ready to debut until the end of summer. 1993.”
He’s expecting at least a chuckle out of you, but instead, he’s fixed with a kind, all-knowing look. 
The two of you are face to face, your shin close enough to brush Eddie’s ribs as you state, “Not a fan of the heat, are you.”
“What gave it away?” Eddie gestures animatedly at the humidity-fed frizz of his hair, then shakes his head like a wet dog. 
When you catch one of his curls between two fingers he freezes, heart slamming to a pause as you loop it around a knuckle.
“I have some deep conditioner at my place. Could help you out if you wanna come by some time.”
Mere inches from his cheek as you lean in, Eddie squeezes his eyes shut, trying to memorize how you smell- coconutty from the lotion, a bit sweaty, a faint hint of deodorant and the vanilla perfume you spray in the mornings. 
He’s never been this close before. 
He feels electric. Or more accurately, like he’s been electrocuted, and he’s waiting for you to restart his heart. 
“Does that sound good, Eddie? You, me, some hair care… maybe a movie? I can steal some from Family Video. I know a guy.”
At his ear now, your voice is low as you wrap a hand around the inside of Eddie’s arm- it’s his turn to break into goosebumps. “Oh yeah? Willing to steal for me already?”
This earns him a stellar laugh, head tipped back to show the curve of your perfect neck. You shove at him playfully, and he’s about to snap up your hand to bite as payback when your name is yelled from across the yard.
“Come on, we need another unbiased judge!” Max waves urgently from the pool as Lucas and Dustin get into an increasingly loud argument over the Olympic grading system. 
“Goddamn kids.” This comes out much more growly than Eddie intended; you just chuckle and squeeze his arm before pulling away to stand.
Eddie mourns the loss of your body heat until you extend a hand towards him, saying, “Let’s go humor our goddamn kids, and we can talk about dinner afterwards.”
It’s like your hand is made to fit inside Eddie’s. He follows close on your heels, heart thudding a steady, overjoyed rhythm once more. 
923 notes · View notes
kakiastro · 3 months
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Astrology Observations and notes of all things Cancer related
This how cancers act when they’re home alone😅, just vibes and music😅
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In honor of Cancer season, If you have Cancer, 4h, dominate Moon aspects placements, this post is for you !
-besides Crabs, other animals such as Elephants, Wolves and Bears are also ruled by the moon
-cancers are known as the nurturing sign and they most definitely can be, however, they struggle with being feeling vulnerable. Due to their sweet aura, they attract all kinds of people but it takes a lot for them to come out their shell.
-Cancer energy can also be very cold when they get angry. I know they are known as being “cry babies” but from what I’ve researched and seen, they can turn cold like sub zero, they turn into their sister sign capricorns(dark side of cap) 😭🤚🏽 they have the memory of an elephant, they’ll remember what you did to them forever in this lifetime and the next 50😭
- people who have Mars Cancer do NOT play when it comes to protecting their family members. Their anger is down right terrifying because how sweet and naive they appear. Oh no, they turn full on gangsta if you hurt anyone they love. 🤺
- I noticed you all are named after someone in your family or you get told that you act like a certain family member. You may be named after a women in your family or get told you act like her in someway
-motherhood may be a big theme in your life. This can include your own mother, friends who are mothers, working with mothers. Even if you don’t want or have kids, motherhood is still apart of your life somehow. Maybe being a mother to your own mother, the mom friend, the cool auntie that gives off mom vibes, mom to your siblings.
-Moon/Neptune aspects may struggle with fog memory. They can remember the big things in their life but have trouble with the small events. Taking pictures or journaling can help with this. I also notice they have these random moments where they remember the most random things at random times😅
-Moon/Sun aspects have such a powerful energy about them. You really light the room
-Cancer rising either have a face shaped like 🌝 or like🌛
- speaking of Cancer risings, them dimples! They deep like the moon craters
- acne problems, it’s even worse during adolescence but it does get better as you get older but you may occasionally break out. I also notice you guys have oily skin.
- Venus Cancer loves them a home cooked meal. They’re the type to go home to their mom or grandma for dinner. They may have a family recipe that’s passed down to them or they create one and pass it down to there kids
-they have a hard time with letting material things go especially if it’s sentimental to them. To the outside world it’s junk but to them it’s treasure. I get it tall I do lol
- Moon 11h attract a lot women as friend groups. Strangers may feel too comfortable with telling their personal business unprovoked
- leader of the family, it doesn’t matter what your role is, you are the one that holds the family together, people may be heavily dependent on you especially emotionally. You may be the first person in your family to accomplish something big.
-Cancer Suns may be the firstborn or firstborn daughter or son(not always). They are born during a time when their parents were especially father was ready to settle down and start a family. They could be born during a time where the family was going through some sort of emotional event and you were the fresh start. Will either feel more emotionally connected or feel disconnected due to trying to live up to his efforts and family ideals.
-Cancer moon feel a deep connection to their mothers theses are the type of children that will live with their mom into adulthood. Even if they move out, they calling they momma lol. Maybe very dependent emotionally on mom. If they don’t have a good relationship with mom, they will get will partners who can feel that void. It’s a lot harder for men with this placement.
-Moon/Jupiter comes from families with such strong belief systems and ideals. They carry these ideals into adulthood, it may be hard to break away from them. They may have a belief that they family viewpoint is everyone’s. They have to leave there nest and see the world for themselves and realize their family viewpoint may be short sighted. This can be triggering because you wonder what else were you not accurately taught.
-if you have 28°, that’s matriarch energy
-have you noticed Cancer starts in June which is the 6th month. 6 in astrology is ruled by Virgo. Summer months are chaotic because your starting a new routine for the season lol
-it’s also interesting that Cancer is the start of Summer season. All the kids is out of school and at home. This is one of the rare times of the year where families are vacationing and spending time together. Visiting other cities and countries. Cancer literally rules home countries and cities y’all lol
I’ll stop here but happy Cancer season and birthday Cancers
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smutinlove · 3 months
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ᴅɪᴄᴋ ɢʀᴀʏꜱᴏɴ—ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴀʟᴘʜᴀʙᴇᴛ
—ladies, i love you. this is for y'all <3
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Dick is just another softie. He will literally worship you after sex. He'll bring you water and a snack and tell you how amazing you were. And he'll obviously run you a nice and warm bubble bath.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
This man knows he has THE ass. He is definitely proud of it and so are you. As for you, he loves your boobs. Dick loves watching them bounce as you ride him. He is a fucking boob man. No question there.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He has a breeding kink. Dick wants to fill you up, over and over. The thought of you carrying his kids gets him every time. He wants you dripping.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Dick will record you sucking him off just so he can jack off to it when he's alone. What can I say? This man is wild.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Dick knows what he's doing. He knows how to fuck a girl and keep her wanting more. He knows exactly what makes you scream and arch your back.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Missionary. He loves telling you how well you're doing and he just cannot stop praising you. He'll tell you how much of a good girl you are and he will definitely say, "you're so good for me, baby. that's right, you're my good girl. you're practically made for me." this man is feral.
But if you piss him off? Your face will be sinking into the pillow, your ass up. He will relentlessly pound into you, pulling your hair a bit. (you will definitely be left a panting mess. and he will definitely degrade you a bit, calling you pathetic and down bad for his cock)
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Dick is just another silly tease <3
This man will flirt with you and put you into the craziest positions.
And he definitely gets cocky (contributing to his ego. it's as large as his dick) when you cum quicker than usual.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Dick is THE definition pretty boy. He keeps himself neatly trimmed.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Dick is cocky. BUT he loves you. He's very open to showing his affection for you in certain ways. He's definitely the kind of guy that will give you a massage after sex. Dick will also whisper sweet things like, "you did so good, baby."
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Dick is the kind of guy that'll moan your name whenever you're not around. Why? He misses you, meaning he's a total softie at heart.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
BDSM — This man will tie you up, whether it be done by using ropes, handcuffs, belts, he will do it. He also likes to inflict punishments (he can punish me all he wants) Bondage, disciplining, dom/sub, etc
Breeding kink — Dick definitely has a breeding kink. I swear, he will blow his load into you at random times during sex and he'll go all cheeky and silly, watching you squirm. He loves the thought of you carrying HIS kids.
Choking — He loves being in control. And if he's frustrated/a bit angry, his hand will magically make its way to you neck.
Honorable mentions: Spanking, orgasm control, exhibitionism, etc
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He will do it anywhere. This man has no shame, I mean come on—he has the best ass in Gotham. AND HE KNOWS IT. He will fuck you in a bathroom stall, in a car, a random alley or even on a roof-top. Bonus points if you get caught.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
He is horny af. If your shorts are a bit too tight, he will definitely notice that. And suddenly his hands are creeping up your thigh.
+Hot and angry makeup sex after arguing oml
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He will not hurt you in anyway that'll scar you permanently. And nothing too serious either. Scat/piss is a NO.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He will eat pussy like it's his last fucking meal and he will be proud of it. He'll bring you to your limits, edging you and denying your orgasm. But if you're giving him head, you better be experienced. This man will gag you.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Highly depends on his mood.
If he just returned from patrolling/crime fighting and is high on adrenaline? Cancel your plans.
You two fought and suddenly you're wearing something slutty? Prepare to suddenly be bent over the kitchen counter.
On the other hand, you gave him a massage and cooked his fav meal? Get ready to be worshiped and clinged onto. He also loves reminding you that he's the one fucking you and not those "lame and ugly guys" from clubs.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Dick likes to take his time with you. But if he's really horny and you're at some gala or public event, he will drag you into a bathroom stall, bend you over and pound into at an incredibly fast pace.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
This man loves taking risks and experimenting. He'll definitely be down to try something new. Except sharing you. He never believed in "sharing is caring."
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
This man is wild. He isn't a sex addict but he is horny 24/7. He could go for a 2-5 rounds with a bit of recovery. (Recovery being him eating you out.)
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Dick "super into trying new things and is very experimental" Grayson definitely owns toys. He definitely owns a dildo and a pair of handcuffs (in blue duh!!) and other sex toys.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He loves teasing you. He doesn't get angry or upset. But he definitely gets petty, turning him into the most teasing fucker in bed. (It's fact-checked too!)
Denying your orgasm and overstimulating you is his thing. He'll touch you EVERYWHERE expect where you actually want him to.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He actually doesn't give a shit whether he's loud or not. Dick is definitely not afraid to let out the sluttiest and most disturbing sounds ever.
And he will want you to match his volume. "Don't be shy, love, I wanna hear you scream my name."
This man does not care what your neighbors think. Hey, it's even better if they hear! They'll know HE is fucking you.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Dick loves fucking you when you're wearing his clothes. (Especially something Nightwing-themed) The mere thought of you covered in his hot cum while you're wearing his clothes drives him insane. He is feral and he knows it.
+he def listens to heartless by the weeknd while he destroys your cunt
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He's definitely big and thick. Like 6-7 inches. 🤭
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Dick "I can go 5 rounds without breaking a sweat" Grayson has a HIGH sex drive. We've mentioned this ladies, he is a horndog. He will do it anywhere. Anytime.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Dick will never sleep before you do. He always makes sure you fall asleep first. And he'll wait around 10 minutes after you fall asleep just to make sure that you're okay. He's a total softie <3
»»————<3———-««
noticed we needed some more dick grayson content. here it is! i hope yall enjoyed <33
also, here are some HOT things i found on pinterest:
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SLUT!
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bro is def switching the positions for me
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yes, officer, i have been a bad girl.
HIS ASS OMG. BABE, SIT ON ME!
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girlleon · 2 months
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SPACE BETWEEN
uncle!leon kennedy x fem!reader
warnings: uncle-niece incest, 18+. content below the cut, vomit (non-sexual capacity), age gap (early-mid 30s to late teens-early 20s). fingering, oral (f! receiving, piv, creampie… Leon’s kind of a simp and lame tbh. ddlg undertones, just a little. heaps of praise :3
i got inspired by uncle from nicole dollanganger tbh.
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“I want to marry my Uncle Leon!” you said when you were seven, smiling up at him with two front teeth missing, chubby baby arms wrapped around his thigh.
Half-uncle, really, but that’s semantics. It’s like someone saying the sky is blue and another person saying it’s turquoise. They’re both right, one’s just really fucking annoying about it.
He also thought you’d say you wanted to marry your dad, because that’s pretty common with kids. Most girl’s dads or brothers are their first loves, so he was pleasantly surprised at the honor of being your chosen husband.
Unfortunately, you’re also seven, and that’s very illegal.
Your dad chuckles and doesn’t bother to try and peel you off. He tried that once and you went back to sticking to him like sweat, so he didn’t bother after that.
“Do you have a wife, Uncle Leon?” You ask him, smiling up at him so sweetly. You got those dimples from your mom, and he’ll never admit it, but they melt his heart just a little.
“No, sweetheart.” He reaches down and ruffles your hair. “I’m all yours for the taking.”
You beam up at him, even as he messes up your hair. “Good! ‘Cause you’re all mine!”
Your dad snorts, promptly looking innocent when Leon glares at him halfheartedly.
“That’s right.” Leon lugs you up into his arms, kissing your temple and giving you the faintest smile. “I’m all yours.”
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He sees you a little less and less as the years wear on. He’s busy and you’re busy and grow from a sweet kid to a petulant preteen to an awkward teenager.
He’s still the first one you call, though, when you’re sixteen and drunk at a house party you shouldn’t be at. You’re swaying a little as he pulls up to the curb.
Leon leans over and opens the door for you—you toddle over and slam his door shut with a soft apology. “I didn’t wanna be there anymore.” You say, looking more than a little uncomfortable. “Please don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not mad, sweetheart.” He reaches over and rubs your shoulder. “I’m glad that you called me instead of your dad.”
“Thanks.” You’re a little tacky with sweat and smell like a brewery and some sickly sweet floral perfume when you lean over to put your head on his shoulder. Baby’s first grown-up perfume instead of the body spray they sell at bath and body works. “I didn’t know who else to call.”
“I’m still glad it was me.” Leon reiterates, kissing the top of your head. “C’mon, sweet girl, let’s get you home. Seatbelt on.”
You pull away reluctantly, buckling in your seatbelt with clumsy hands. “I know, I know. I got the riot act from my doctor when I got the physical done for the permit. Seatbelts yes, swerving no.” You grumble, pushing a sparkly hand through your hair.
He snorts, starting the car and pulling away from the curb. “Is that everything?”
“She said she’d pull my license if she caught me.” You reply, propping a temple on your fist. “‘Cause she’s a doctor and a mandatory performer—reporter. Mandatory reporter.”
Leon can’t help a quiet chuckle, even when you swat at him. “You got there in the end.”
The quiet roll of the car rocks you right to sleep, and he sneaks glances at you as he moves around pot holes and takes speed bumps slowly to avoid jostling you awake and fucking up his suspension. Cute, your nose still twitches like a bunny’s when you sleep. He thinks you got that from your mom too.
He gently wakes you up when he’s stopped in front of your house, reaching over and unbuckling your seatbelt before petting your head. “Gotta wake up, sweetheart, come on. Let’s get you to bed.”
You groan behind a closed mouth, face scrunching up. “No…”
He almost laughs. “Come on, I’ll help you up and out.” He unbuckles his seatbelt and jogs over to your side when he’s out of the car, opening the door and bodily carrying you out of the car.
The movement’s a little much and you gag, sweat breaking out on your skin.
Leon aims you away from himself just in time, rubbing your back as you puke loudly in your yard. He reaches over and holds your hair back with a grimace. “You’re alright. You’re okay. Just get it out.” He murmurs, rubbing your back once you stop retching.
When you straighten up, he wipes your mouth and his hand on his jeans. “You’ll feel a bit better in the morning.” Leon tells you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and leading you to the front door. You fumble a little for your house keys, but get inside after he kisses your temple and wishes you a goodnight. “‘Night, Leon.”
“Night.” He repeats, gently shutting the door behind you. He goes back to his car and drives home, that sickly perfume smell lingering on the seats like you personally cropdusted them.
Vanilla, white florals, he thinks he smells coffee before it lapses into a sort of acrid smell. Otherwise, perfectly inoffensive on you, perfectly inoffensive to anyone with a working nose, to be honest.
He wishes you’d wear something a little more offensive, strong, something definitively you. Florals tend to be powdery and come off as something an old lady would wear, and that’s not very sexy at all, is it?
Cherry, he thinks would fit you perfectly well. Strawberries. Maybe they make apple perfumes.
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When Christmas rolls around, he does exactly that, after skulking around Ulta and eventually asking for perfume recommendations from an associate.
Leon comes back with something strawberry, something jasmine and red berries. He splurged a little bit on a gingerbread perfume, but he doesn’t mind, might as well have something festive to give you.
When it comes time to get the gang together, he tosses it all in a pretty, sparkly bag with blue tissue paper and a tag with your name on it because he’s shit at wrapping gifts.
You cling to him a little tighter with the greeting hug he gives you. Maybe you’re still grateful he didn’t snitch about the party.
Either way, Leon returns the tight hug and gives you a pointed smile as he asks, “How’ve you been?”
You, to your credit, barely flinch, though he can see in your eyes you know exactly what he’s talking about. “Been good, glad to be out of school for the next two weeks. Merry Christmas.”
He clicks his tongue, then disengages and steers you over to the living room and sits right next to you after depositing his gift for you under the Christmas tree. “Merry Christmas. Yeah, I bet. No more waking up at six in the morning for the bus at six-forty. Been staying out of trouble?” He gives you a sly look, head cocking just to the side.
Your eyes narrow at him playfully as you smile back despite yourself. “Yeah. I’ve been too busy with work to really get up to something bad.”
“Ah, that’s the way to keep it.” He slings an arm over the back of the couch, getting up after a moment to get himself a bit of eggnog, your mom’s recipe. “How much do you get?” He asks when he’s sitting down again, arm back over the couch.
And so it goes from there. You get the most of the spread of presents, being the kid and all.
Your mom and dad each got one another something and him some comfy clothes, he sorely needs them.
Whilst he was shopping for you, he ducked into some department store and got your parents some simple stuff. Soap, pajama sets and the like.
You look extremely surprised—and pleased? Leon’s heart might not take it if you hate the gifts—when you pull the perfumes out of the bag. “Whoa. How much did you spend?” You ask him immediately.
Leon scoffs, taking a sip of eggnog to hide a nervous shift. “It wasn’t much, they’re all samples.” The strawberries and cream one was like thirty-five bucks, so was the jasmine and red fruits one; he spent about fifty on the gingerbread one because he couldn’t find a smaller size than just an ounce. “Besides, I make the big bucks.”
Your mom sneaks a glance at Leon, then stealthily looks up the prices of the perfumes she can see, eyes going comically wide before she gives him a disapproving look. “Leon!”
“Yes?” He asks innocently, plastering on the most charming smile he has. Before she can start, Leon shakes his head, giving her a ‘don’t worry’ wave of his hand. “Come on, I make a hundred and twenty in a day.” More, actually, but still.
Your mom looks like she’s going to argue before your dad lays a hand on her shoulder and shakes his head with an amused look. “I’m putting a budget cap on the presents next time.” She decides after a moment.
Leon smirks, shooting you a wink. “Duly noted.” Then, he nods at you, manspreading because you’re on the floor. “What do you think?”
You pull off the caps of the perfumes and sniff them without spraying them, making faces with each sniff test. “Whoa.”
“Good?” God, he’s hoping you like them.
You nod, smelling the gingerbread one again. “Yeah. These are so cool.” Slowly, a smile spreads across your face. “Thanks, I love them.”
Relief loosens his chest a little. Leon gives you a smile. “I was hoping so.”
He stays over for dinner and maybe a little afterward, just catching up with the rest of you guys.
All too soon, it comes time to say goodbye, they hope he comes again soon to terrorize everyone with his extravagant presents.
He spends the most time hugging you goodbye.
You graduate in the spring and he makes sure to actually dress up for this occasion. Someone only ever graduates five times in their life—kindergarten, fifth grade, eighth grade, high school, college.
Leon’s wearing a suit that had a little dust on it when he dug it out of the back of his closet, the collar and tie is a little tight around his neck and he keeps fidgeting until nudged by your dad because you’re walking across that stage.
God, it’s so weird to see you all grown up.
He was one of the few to hold you after you were born before you started fussing for your mom. He babysat you a few times so your parents could go have a date night. He was over at your fucking house almost every other day because your dad wanted to hang with his half-brother.
He’s getting really old. He’s starting to reminisce the way their dad did about high school friends and the like. For fuck’s sake, he’s thirty-five, not sixty-five.
You get a picture from the photographer, grinning from ear to ear. It’s well deserved, you fucking hated high school, he remembers the complaints. Then you go sit back in your spot and wait to flip your tassel.
Finally, all the fucking pomp and circumstance is over with. Here endeth the high school.
He and your parents find you a bit afterward, all of them drag you into giant hugs before they go to the car and treat you to dinner before you get all your graduation cash with a side of birthday treats.
He got you another perfume, a sultry cherry scent.
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Jesus. Jesus fucking Christ in the manger in the fucking Inn. Mary and Joseph above him. Leon might as well just go caving if he’s going to hell, getting trapped underground would be so much easier.
Leon has to put on sunglasses when he sees you in that American flag bikini the summer after you graduate, flapping his blanket out on the sand and posting his flip flops on opposite corners.
It’s a little on the nose for the holiday, but he’s more than willing to stand for the flag. He’s much more partial to kneeling, but standing works too.
He strips off his shirt and begins slathering himself in sunscreen because he’s gonna turn into a lobster in less than fifteen minutes, he’s calling it.
Your dad bets ten. Your mom bets five.
Lucky you, you got the tanning without burning genes, also from your mom. You go right in without worrying about sunscreen.
He sits there after taking off his sunglasses and spending an extraordinary amount of time trying to reach his back. Like he wants to be peeling the next time he has to go fight some BOWs.
At some point, you resurface from the water after he resigns himself to a burned back, picking up your towel and laying it around your shoulders to cushion your wet hair. “Need some help? You’re cooking.” You point vaguely at his semi-red back.
Leon stares for a second before wordlessly handing you his sunscreen and shifting so his back is to you. This is a sure fire way to avoid tempting himself.
He hears you snort when the bottle makes a funny noise, then the weird sound of your wet hands rubbing together as you warm up the sunscreen before applying it in broad sweeps around his back.
“You and dad burn so easily.” You mutter, still rubbing in the sunscreen. Your long nails graze his skin on occasion and he fights the urge to stiffen up.
“You’re lucky,” Leon says after swallowing quietly, “you got the tanning from your mom. Certainly didn’t get it from your dad.” His hands bunch up his trunks.
You snort again, rubbing away the last of the white streaks across his back before leaning back on your hands. “Or you.”
Well, he only shares about twenty-five percent of your DNA, that’s why. He learned that after an alcohol-fueled dive—and no less than five orgasms—in the incognito tab. In some places, if both parties are over the age of consent, incest is totally legal. Some can even get married.
He shifts so he’s laying down on his blanket, a soft and amused snort catching your attention. “True.” He crosses his arms behind his head, soaking up the sun now that he’s in danger of not burning to a crisp and missing the way your eyes linger just a little too long.
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Turning twenty-one is a big occasion. You can get scratch offs, buy your own drinks, smoke if you damn well want to.
You, lucky girl, get two parties. One with family, one with your friends who can also drink.
Leon comes for the former that takes place the day afterward. Your parents and him didn’t wanna cramp your hot, early twenties style.
You guys go out to your choice of restaurant, then come back and have some celebratory drinks as you open your presents. Some cash, shirts, a new backpack, and some perfume, courtesy of Leon.
He went digging for the really niche ones and came back with one that smells like cat fur, cake, a bit of florals because female perfumes can never fucking escape florals. It was named for the ballet step, pas de chat. Step of the cat. He thought he’d try something out of the box.
You seem to like it, the way your face breaks into a smile. “Thanks. This is nice.” You spritz a little on your wrist and smell it, lighting up just a little bit.
Leon smiles back too, a tad softer than his usual sly smile he wears. He’s been told he has a bit of a smug face. “Yeah, you’re welcome.” He nods, raising his glass to you briefly.
He’s invited to stay over as long as he likes, or even stay in the guest bedroom if he wanted to, he’s informed by your parents as they go upstairs to bed.
Which is why he’s ruminating as he stares a hole through his glass, pondering the beer and the bubbles in it.
Leaving him defenseless to you slipping into his lap.
It takes him a second, but he gets there, eyes wide as he looks up at you.
Your perfume floats over once you sling an arm around the back of his neck, something sweet and warm that makes him want to tuck his face into your neck, your eyes remarkably clear despite the three margaritas you had. “What are you doing?” He asks after a second of just staring at you.
You give him a sly look, head cocking to the side. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
“Getting into trouble.” Leon’s empty hand lands on your lower back as he leans forward, setting his glass of beer on the side table, his once occupied hand landing on your thigh where your shorts rode up.
That feline smile remains on your face. “I’m rather good at that.”
He snorts, slowly rubbing your thigh. “I noticed. You’re welcome for not snitching to your parents that one time.”
You snort too, bringing him closer with the arm around his neck. “Yeah, I owe you my life.”
Leon nudges your nose with his, starting to smile slightly too. “You joke, but your mother would’ve killed you.”
“I think she knew.” You admit, shifting a little closer on his lap.
Leon’s hand slowly travels up your inner thigh, your legs parting for him just a little. He pauses, eyes flicking back up to you. “Are you sure?”
You nod, swallowing nervously. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”
That’s that, then. He unbuttons your jean shorts one-handed, tugging down the zip gently, his grin widening when he sees the bit of lace visible on your waistband. “Planned this, did you?”
His eyes flick up to yours as he gently slides his hand between your underwear and shorts, gently cupping you through it, gratified when he sees you inhale sharply.
“Hoped, actually.” You admit near shamelessly, thighs spreading a little more.
“Well,” Leon can’t help feeling a little smug, slowly grinding the heel of his palm against your clit, “I hope you can be quiet.”
He dips his head down, nosing at your neck, down your collarbone and to your chest as his hand keeps slowly moving. He won’t be satisfied until there’s a wet spot.
The scent of your perfume grows a little stronger and his eyes flutter shut, his not busy hand pushing up your shirt at the back so he can rest his palm on your back.
He increases the pressure and you twitch a little, stiffening just a little. “Take this off.” Leon mumbles without lifting his head.
You tug off your shirt and he groans lowly, hiding his face back in your tits as he sucks and licks at the skin. He shifts his hand, gently dragging his fingers up before gently tapping your clit, then tucking his hand into your underwear, grinning fiendishly when there’s a puddle slicking you all the way up.
“Messy girl…” he can’t help taunting, biting down over your heart.
You whine just a little and he can literally feel all his blood rush south. It’s a surprise he didn’t faint, to be honest.
Gently, he pushes a finger in, cooing with a soft click of his tongue when you whimper. “Shh, shh, it’s ok.” He murmurs, pushing in all the way and waiting a little for you to get used to it as he messes with your clit so you stop clenching, chest heaving just a little. “You’re doing so good, sweet girl.”
Slowly, he begins pumping, making sure to graze your clit with his palm, getting himself all sticky. Maybe he’ll shake your dad’s hand with this one.
When you’re fucking yourself back, hips moving of their own accord, pretty mouth open, he adds another, curling them just until he feels that spongy spot and hitting it with precision. “There we go… that’s my girl.” Leon grins up at you, kissing your jaw as he fingers you open.
His hand is cramping just a little, but he’ll push through it for his girl.
“You’re doing so well.” He murmurs as he lays you on the couch, dragging down your bottoms as one hand slows down just a little. You whine and he clicks his tongue, pouting at you just a little before he kisses it off.
Once you’re naked, save for the bra—Leon likes the way tits look when they’re pushed out of the bra by a vigorous fucking—Leon whistles quietly, planting a kiss above your bellybutton piercing as he lays down between your open thighs. “So pretty, baby. So, so pretty.”
You have to slam a palm over your mouth when his own seals across your clit as his fingers keep moving inside you, speeding up just a little. He laughs, more vibration than sound, at least the way you feel it.
Watching you come for the first time will be seared into his mind forever. It started with the little things. Your chest was heaving, your thighs were starting to try and close around his head, your pussy starting to spasm.
Then, it happens. Your upper half snaps up, your eyes scrunching shut as you muffle what could’ve been a very incriminating noise if your hand wasn’t covering your mouth.
You sag back against the couch, chest heaving as Leon pumps his fingers and sucks you through it, leaning away and gently pulling his fingers from you when you start twitching.
“My poor baby.” He breathes, sucking his fingers clean before leaning up, hands bracketing the side of your head. “Good?”
You nod after a second. “Good.”
He gives you a soft smile, pushing some hair behind your ear. “That’s my girl.”
“I’m your girl?” You open your eyes, a little dopey smile across your face.
“‘Course, you’re my girl.” He leans down and kisses your forehead. “Always have been.”
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Leon lives in fear of your parents finding out for at least a couple months. That’s what wakes him up in the night, not just memories from Raccoon City, Spain, Tall Oaks, et cetera.
God, he’d be hung by his toenails and skinned alive. Like when Warren killed Tara on Buffy, but a lot more drawn out because your dad would be in on it too.
You guys are at a vacation house the night you two first have sex.
It starts the same way him fingering you on the couch did. You slide into his lap long after everyone’s gone to sleep, he gets his fingers wet when you guys are in his room.
His room is a little further from your parents room than yours, hence the choice.
He lays you down and gets you off another time to hopefully make this painless, tangling a hand with yours. Only when you push at his head does he stop, grinning like a fat cat.
Leon doesn’t smile when he pushes in, watching you carefully for when he needs to stop and let you breathe.
Slowly, he’s seated balls deep inside you, hands on either side of your head. “Good, baby? Are you okay?” He pushes some of your hair back, relieved when you turn your head and kiss his palm.
“Good.” You reach a hand down and feel around, smiling slightly when he winces.
“Jesus, give me a moment. I’m not as young as I used to be.” Leon mutters, shifting a little so he can spread your legs a little more, hands dimpling the fat of your thigh.
You gasp quietly at the shift and nod, one hand over your tit, the same one he marked when he fingered you on the couch. “Leon…” you breathe, moving your legs to wrap around his waist.
“I know, baby, I know.” He whispers, gently shifting before drawing back and thrusting in.
Your eyes scrunch shut as you let out a soft yelp. Quickly, Leon settles his palm over your mouth, shifting so his weight is on his opposite elbow. “Hush, sweetheart. Don’t want your parents busting in, huh?”
You shake your head, face settling into a blissful expression as he starts moving, little sounds punched from you from each firm roll of his hips.
“That’s my girl.” He smiles down at you, leaning down and licking up the sweat from your neck all the way up to your earlobe, kissing it and hiding his face in your neck. “My pretty baby girl.”
Leon lifts his head up, his face hovering by the side of yours as he grins. “I got you. I got my girl.”
Ah, the praise gets to you, just a little bit. He can tell because you get a little tighter and he has to fight so this doesn’t end too early.
He’s a gentleman, he refuses to come before you.
“Can you be quiet, baby? Wanna play the quiet game?” He chuckles when you nod, removing his hand so he can play with your clit and get you just that extra bit closer.
This close, he gets to watch you pause before your upper half snaps up again, your arms wrapping around Leon as you gasp into his shoulder.
It’s your orgasm that undoes him, his hips stuttering before he fills you up, collapsing on top of you as he gasps, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead as his body to yours.
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To mom and dad:
I’m really sorry if I worry you both. Leon and I know you wouldn’t approve, which, for obvious reasons, makes sense.
Trust me when I say we love each other. I’ll still be studying, it’s not like he wants me to drop out.
I love you guys so much. Please don’t be mad.
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