#they’re crazy and they do things to me so

[bixels]

The final TF2 issue really got to me. Spoilers, but it’s the reveal that all of this suffering and murder and war over gravel and shitty land was for nothing but senseless, bottomless hatred. That the administrator can’t even remember where this revenge plot started as she flashes through different false memories of her parents’ deaths. There was never a tragic backstory or justification, only terrible people doing despicable things. And despite how crass and stupid and unserious TF2 is, the story subverts every expectation by showing the survivors and inheritors willingly breaking the cycle. Ms. Pauling lies to the administrator and chooses not to save her, and finally lets her die. (Hurts even more if you read into the subtext that Ms. Pauling is in love with the administrator.) She lets the final cache of Australium go and walks away from the burden and legacy of a century-old bloodfeud. Hale lets Gray’s daughter go and live her life freely. Spy is the first to arrive at Scout’s house and meet his big family, finally takes off his mask, and helps with the kids. Even Merasmus exhaustedly makes peace with himself and Soldier and chooses not to curse him or something. There’s nothing to finish, no promises to keep, and no one to avenge. The only thing to do is break the cycle and walk away.

It feels odd how happy and warm everything is, but it feels so right and earned. These bloodthirsty, awful, violent men were expendable cogs in a machine of endless violence, and they found a way out. It’s a genuinely great message about letting go the past that burdens you and finding the will and a way to hit the bricks, change, and be happy. Maybe they don’t technically deserve happiness, but they’ve got it nonetheless, and they’re not gonna let it go to waste. They’re still all crazy and violent, but on their own terms now and with people who love them! Smiles.

[wonderjanga]

Head to the Wall Over and Over Until There’s a Dent

Harvey didn’t know how they ended up in an alley in Iowa of all places, let alone the one city there that had multiple heroes that patrolled. Currently, he was hiding out in an alley when suddenly some kid came by.

Billy: *walks past before stopping and walking backwards so he could take a good look at him*

Billy and Two Face/Harvey: *staring at each other*

Billy: “Do I know you?”

Two Face: “No.”

Billy: “Yeah I do. You’re a lawyer, right?” *remembers Batman saying that about him but not remembering the part where he’s an actual villain*

Harvey: “Not anymore-”

Billy: “Great!”

Two Face: *peeved at him for interrupting them* “You little…”

Billy: “Can you sue someone for me?”

Harvey: “Who?”

Billy: “My uncle.”

Harvey: “What’d he do?”

Billy: “He stole all of my inheritance and then kicked me out so I became homeless.”

*silence*

Two Face: *looks over Billy* “You don’t look homeless.”

Billy: “Well, yeah. I have a job. I work at Whiz, a radio company here. That also means I can pay you!”

Two Face: *thinking about how he doesn’t want to do this*

Harvey: *thinking about how he does want to do this so they flip the coin and it lands on Harvey’s side* “Alright then. We’ll take the case.”

Billy:“Great! Let’s talk business in somewhere more discreet. Cmon.” *gestures for him to follow* “By the way, why do you mean ‘we’? Do you have a lawyer team?”

Two Face: “No, we’re two different people.”

Billy: “Oh. Cool.”

The two walked out of the alley and started walking on the sidewalk. Both Harvey and Two Face were a little surprised at the lack of stares and running away they received.

Two Face: “No one’s batting an eye at us.”

Billy: “Why would they?”

Two Face: *gives him a look that suggests it should be obvious*

Billy: *raises a brow with a confused expression*

Turns out, the “discreet” place they were going to talk business in was a diner. They went in and sat at a booth. Billy skimmed through the menu and ordered a milkshake before handing the menu to them.

Billy: “You gonna get a milkshake too?”

Harvey: *takes out their coin, flips it and it lands on Two Face’s side* “No.”

Billy: “Your loss. They’re pretty good.”

They soon started talking business and made a plan of how they would sue the pants off Ebenezer. When that was done, they got to work collecting evidence to help them win the case. In the end, they won and left the courthouse with Billy richer and with the widest smile in the world. Billy gave him a portion of the money and they went their separate ways.

Billy: “Bye Mr. Dent! Bye Mr. Two Face!” *runs off with a comically large money bag*

Geez, Harvey nearly forgot what it was like to be lawyer again. Anyways, back to crime. But not before one little thing.

Harvey/Two Face: *breaks in to Ebenezer’s house, does the little coin flip and it lands on Two Face’s side so he takes out his gun to kill Eben*

Batman: *appears from behind him* “Two Face. What are you doing in Fawcett?”

Harvey: “We were representing someone for a case.”

Batman: “How? Your license got revoked.”

Two Face: “We don’t even know. This towns crazy. In a good way.”

They unfortunately didn’t get to shoot Eben because Batman apprehended them and took them back to Gotham.

[hyuckworld]

FINALLY READING THIS!!!! heavy pining and make it fun ??? the comeback is so good 🤩

i love love loveeee this characterization of jake it’s so so cute seeing him pining so hard 🥹 "You were like sunshine, and Jake was just there, squinting and hoping he wouldn't spontaneously combust into a thousand ashes from simply staring at you.” like 💗💗💗 okay it's not funny anymore where do i find myself a lover boy like jake :((( or actually, where can i find jake

His feelings remain the best-kept secret in the history of best-kept secrets—well, if secrets were meant to be as obvious as a neon sign in a blackout.

this was a crazy good line 🤧 i just have to applaud you for that because that just made jake ten times more endearing in this AND THE FACT THAT THIS IS F2L!!! FELL TO MY KNEES 😞

also their little friend group dynamic is literally sooo entertaining 😩 i need a sequel with just their shenanigans omg i was giggling at their dynamics ++ esp heejay 🥰

Jake’s brain scrambles for ideas, as he stares hopelessly at the blank essay document on his laptop titled: "History of Modern Warfare (with revisions)" His essay can wait. World War II may have been a big deal, but this? This is you. Only the most important thing to walk this earth (in Jake's eyes, at least).

incredible. give me 14 down bad jakes right now 💳💥

the confession and kiss scene were so adorable 🥹 i cheered so hard when they got together and yay jake for graduating from roomba status!! not him sacrificing his bank account right after 😭 so glad he had those talks with grace and heeseung (where they sort of clocked him lol) but bless jake’s heart he really needed to hear that. but wow this was such a fun read!! i love that all the side characters were fleshed out with their own personalities and quirks :’) and reading their different interactions made them feel so much more real like i was literally watching their conversations play out before me. and the epilogue OMG they’re just down bad for each other hhh i love them your honor 🥹💖🫶

the matchmatic 3000 ─ s. jy

↳ summary ── simp, i mean, sim jaeyun is a hopeless romantic. a cursed hopeless romantic, he would say, doomed to exist as just your friend, nothing more. but when his genius (read: nerdy) best friend creates a highly accurate matchmaking app for the university, jake is ready to bribe, beg, and possibly sell his soul to make sure he gets paired with you. plan a? hack the system. plan b? there is no plan b. to jake, being delulu is the solulu, and he's all in.

↳ pairing ── jake sim x y/n [ft. bestfriends!jay & heeseung]

↳ genre ── college!au, matchmaking!au, friendstolovers!au || fluff, crack, pining, pining & more pining heh

↳✎ᝰ. 19k [i swear this wasn't intentional...once again, i had too much fun]

↳ contains ── honestly, just crack. i had too much fun with the humor in this one i think, whoops! lots of awkward tension, slow burn, pining, more pining, cute kithes (~￣³￣)~, reader is oblivious beyond saving, but no actual warnings other than maybe one or two cuss words i think!

↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── it's finally done! i'm nervvy because i haven't posted a fic in almost three years now,,,but i randomly got inspo one day after seeing a tiktok about a matchmaking questionnare and now here we are! i loved writing these characters, it was so much fun,,,but i also don't know how to feel abt the whole thing so i hope people enjoy this !! :’)) ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

Simply put, Jake Sim is a simp. His name should honestly be legally changed from Sim Jae-yun to Simp Jae-yun at this point. 

Jake doesn’t fall often, but when he does, he hits the ground with the force of a malfunctioning rocket ship. Once in the third grade, a girl gave him a Hello Kitty bandage after he face-planted off the playground swings. Cute, right? Well, Jake was so smitten, he spent the next week sliding his prized dino chicken nuggets across the lunch table like they were some ancient currency to win her over.  

Did it work? Sort of. Did she eat all his nuggets without ever looking back? Absolutely.  

But this? With you? This is different.  

Jake would give up more than just his room-temp mystery-meat pterodactyls for you. He thinks he’d willingly cat-sit twelve cats—despite his strong dislike for cats. He thinks he’d voluntarily train for the national triathlon—despite always getting winded walking up the two flights of stairs to get to his apartment. He’d probably let you have the last Supreme pizza slice, which for Jake, is basically like offering you his soul on a silver platter. 

Forget falling—Jake didn’t just trip, no. He plummeted into a cartoon-style pit, the kind covered with leaves spread over the top like some dollar-store disguise. He’s still down there, metaphorically flailing around like a maniac while you’re chilling up above, completely unaware that you Tom & Jerry-ed his heart. 

In hindsight, Jake hopelessly pining for you was about as inevitable as a rom-com misunderstanding. The second his childhood best friend Grace—aka your college best friend and roommate—introduced you guys during freshman year orientation, Jake was hit with the biggest, dumbest case of whiplash known to mankind. 

You were so confident, so outgoing, so unapologetically you. You were like sunshine, and Jake was just there, squinting and hoping he wouldn't spontaneously combust into a thousand ashes from simply staring at you. 

But, as with all classic tropes (and pining fanfics), Jake knows that mixing friend groups and love interests is a recipe for disaster. And not just any disaster—a culinary trainwreck. Worse than whatever recipe the dining hall uses to make their sad excuse for tacos. Like, is it beef? Is it tofu? Who knows, and honestly, I don't think anyone wants to know.  

Anyways, that brings us to today: a couple years later, with Jake still mooning over his friend. His feelings remain the best-kept secret in the history of best-kept secrets—well, if secrets were meant to be as obvious as a neon sign in a blackout. 

In fact, Jake’s attempts at subtlety are about as smooth as a drunk giraffe on roller skates. Whenever you walk into the room, it’s like someone hits the ‘shutdown’ button on his brain. One second, he’s cracking jokes and holding conversations just fine, the next? Boom. Total system failure. You can almost hear the Windows XP error sound the moment you catch him off guard with a smile.

It’s not that Jake can’t talk to you—he’s your friend, after all. But the second he catches your sweet laugh or smile and his feelings come rolling in and the butterflies come out? Well, that’s when words start slipping through his fingers like sand, and his once confident banter turns into a cautious game of verbal Jenga. 

His brilliant solution?

Simple: stick to safe topics and keep it light. Foolproof, right? Well, if your idea of foolproof includes missed opportunities and enough internal cringe to fuel a thousand regret-filled 3am thoughts.

Luckily for him, you’ve gone all these years mistaking his massive, raging, hormonal crush on you as part of his ‘friendly, sweet, soft-spoken boy’ personality. And Jake? He’ll take that over an awkward-confession-which-may-lead-to-a-crash-and-burn-outcome any day. 

Honestly, who wouldn’t? Jake thinks as he glances at you from across the lunch table, currently laughing at one of Jay’s terrible puns. Yep, being friends with you is totally fine… totally fine… totally fine.

Jake’s totally fine.

Jake is totally not one more bad-Jay-pun away from writing tragic love haikus in his Notes app and forming a backstory about his unrequited feelings.

As if right on cue, Jay cracks a banana-physics joke (because, obviously, Jay is an expert in theoretical physics despite never having taken a class), and while everyone else is laughing, Jake’s over here, contemplating the meaning of life:

Her laugh echoes bright, I’m lost, no GPS found, Help, I’m still simping.

Jake stares down at his phone, horrified. Did he seriously just… haiku his feelings? Help. Is this what rock-bottom looks like?

"Alright listen up you peasants," Heeseung clears his throat dramatically as he suddenly approaches the group's lunch table located outside on campus grounds, interrupting Jake's poetic inner melodrama. "Your savior has arrived."  

“This better be good, Hee. The last time you said that, you tried to convince us that you could drink five Red Bulls, pull an all-nighter, and still pass that chem exam,” you smirk questionably. 

Heeseung points at you. “And I did pass.” 

“You got a 61%,” Grace says, not even looking up from her phone. 

“That’s still passing!” Heeseung declares, full of confidence. “Anyway, this time is different. I’ve been working on something life-changing.” 

Jake shoots a glance in your direction before quickly looking away. He wants to say something witty, something that could make you laugh, but his brain is like, nah bro, not today. Instead, he nervously fidgets with the sleeve of his hoodie. Since when was there a hole there?

“Life-changing?” Jay leans back in his chair, arms crossed, wearing his usual smirk. “What, are you finally going to start that YouTube channel where you rank ramen brands?” 

Heeseung rolls his eyes as he takes a seat, “First of all, that channel is coming. But no, this is better. Way better. I’ve created…” 

He pauses for dramatic effect, looking at everyone and drumming his fingers against the table,“…a matchmaking algorithm.” 

You burst out laughing, breaking the silence of the table, “What? Like a dating app?” 

“Is this about to be Tinder, but, like, nerdy?” Grace raises an eyebrow, intrigued but skeptical. 

“Not quite. It’s a scientific, algorithm-based matching system, designed to pair people based on compatibility and mutual interests. And, lucky for you all, I’m testing it out on campus,” Heeseung grins, completely unbothered. 

Jake’s heart skips a beat. Matchmaking? His mind first immediately goes to you. And then, downright panic. What if this robot thing pairs you with someone else? Oh god, what if it pairs you with, like, Jay, and he has to watch you guys flirt non-stop while he sits in the corner like a sad, dying houseplant? (mental note: water your houseplants when you get back to your dorm, jake!)

“Didn’t you also say it was ‘scientific’ when you ate an entire pack of Mentos and then drank Coke?” Grace’s brows furrow at the boy.

Heeseung scoffs at her dramatically. “That was for science. This is for love.” 

You lean forward into the table, clearly interested.

“So you’re saying this app will scientifically find me a soulmate?” Your eyes light up and Jake’s heart skips a second beat as they happen to make eye contact with him as you say that. Please let that soulmate be me. Please. “What’s the catch? You’re not the type to just… help people find 'love' for free.” 

Heeseung shrugs, pretending to be modest, “Not true! I’m doing this purely out of the goodness of my heart.” 

Jay coughs, "Cap.” 

“Okay, fine,” Heeseung admits, “it’s for a coding competition. The winner gets a year’s worth of free ramen from that noodle place near the dorms.” 

Grace’s jaw drops. “You mean Noodle Nirvana? The one with the spicy miso?” 

“Precisely, the one with the spicy miso," Heeseung nods proudly. 

You let out a giggle, “So you’re telling me, you’ve created a love machine just so you can hoard ramen?” 

“Correction,” Heeseung says, raising a finger, “I’ve created a highly advanced matchmaking algorithm to bring people together and also hoard ramen.” 

“Good enough” you shrug, raising your iced coffee in a mock toast to your nerdy friend. “Sign me up.” 

Oh no. Jake's heart skips a third beat (someone get him an ambulance please). Oh god, you're most definitely going to get matched up with someone else. And if that happens, bye-bye to the 12 black cats he’s already mentally prepared to care for. Bye-bye triathlon training.  

But on the other hand...this could be Jake's golden opportunity—that is if somehow the universe decides to play nice and matches you with him. This could be his chance, his moment, his... immediate descent into chaos. 

"Can your app match me with that cute barista that works at the campus boba shop every Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 12pm to 5pm?" Jay's eyes sparkle with curiosity and excitement.  

Heeseung gives Jay a look that says he’s one step away from calling campus security. "First of all, that’s borderline stalker territory. Second, no. It doesn’t work that way."

"So..there's no way you can influence the results at all? It's purely the robot’s doing?" you cock your head at Heeseung. 

"Again, it's an algorithm! Not a robot," he then shrugs, "and I’m above bribery. Unless, of course, you’ve got a worthy offer."

"ooOoOh, corruption? Me likey," Jay’s eyebrows shoot up in mischief, "I'm in. Where do I sign up?" 

“Already done, my friends. Check your emails," Heeseung pulls out his phone and points at it.  

Jake’s phone buzzes at that moment, and when he opens it, the email is sitting at the top of his inbox. He’s never been more nervous to open an email in his life. Well, except maybe his college acceptance letter. Or his professor’s recent feedback on his History of Modern Warfare essay. 

You tap your screen and start reading the email out loud:

Subject: [IMPORTANT SCHOOL ANNOUNCEMENT]  Hello there awesome students & fellow single-tons, Have you ever looked around campus and thought, ‘Wow, everyone here is either taken, weird, or impossible to talk to?’ Well, I’m here to save you from the trenches of singleness with...*drumroll please*  THE MATCHMATIC 3000  — the university's very own matchmaking algorithm!  How does it work you ask? Simple.  1. Download the app from the link in this email (no, it's not a scam or a virus, I promise).   2. Enter your name and student ID (for verification purposes only – no catfishing allowed!)   3. Answer a bunch of super fun questions that might make you question your life choices but will definitely help MatchMatic 3000 find your perfect match!  Once you’re done, the app will work its algorithmic magic to pair you with someone who’s probably just as confused about life as you are but is at least willing to share similar pizza toppings with you. The results will be sent out after a few days of algorithmic wizardry! Why am I doing this, you ask? Because who doesn’t love a good matchmaking fiasco? It’s like throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks, except instead of pasta, it’s your love life. And hey, if it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll have some hilarious stories to tell your future therapist!  (Please don't bill me for your therapy bill. I'm broke.) It’s scientifically programmed, which means it’s flawless. Trust me, I’m very smart. Sign up now, and may your love life finally flourish. If it doesn’t, well, you can’t say I didn’t try. Questions will be released tomorrow, so sign up today before you catch a serious case of FOMO when all the cool kids start using the app ;) Sincerely, your friendly Campus Cupid,   Lee Heeseung <3  *Disclaimer: The university, nor I, takes no responsibility for any romantic entanglements, awkward encounters, or sudden realizations that you might be better off single. Please use the MatchMatic 3000 responsibly.* 

You look up, trying to hold in your laughter, “Heeseung, what the hell is this?” 

Everyone around the table bursts into muffled giggles as they take in the sight of a 240fps gif of Heeseung’s head superimposed onto a sparkly cupid’s body, dramatically shooting an arrow into the abyss of their screens.

"It's called marketing, Y/N. You wouldn't understand,” Heeseung says unbothered. 

“You really called yourself campus cupid,” Grace manages to get out, laughing so hard she’s practically wheezing.

“I said what I said,” Heeseung replies, puffing out his chest like a self-proclaimed genius. “And it’s true. I am your cupid. My algorithm is perfect. You guys are just haters. Just wait until I go viral and become rich and famous. Jake, you support me, right?"

Jake, who hasn’t uttered a peep in maybe a century, suddenly finds himself put on the spot. Oh no, I’ve been radio silent. They probably think I’m plotting my grand escape or something.

You turn towards Jake, waiting for his response and with a smile on your face, which is enough to send him into a decade long coma he thinks. 

“Uh... yeah, for sure. Whatever it takes for that ramen, right?” he blurts out, awkwardly throwing in a finger gun for good measure.

Nailed it.

"Jakey here is too sweet to disagree with you, Hee, “ you look up at him, flashing him a soft, teasing smile. 

And that’s it. Jake’s soul exits stage left. 

He nearly chokes on his own saliva at the casual way you let the pet name roll off your tongue. It’s as if you’ve just handed him a ticket to a new dimension where 'Jakey' is a thing and he’s suddenly the happiest (and only) person on the planet.

Jakey, you called him Jakey. His mind takes an ad-break as he tries to recover. Is this…flirting? Is this how normal people flirt? Or are you just trying to send him into cardiac arrest for fun?

Either way, Jake’s officially malfunctioning. He deduces you’re just being your typical, outgoing self—completely oblivious to the heart palpitations your simple actions send to Jake’s heart. How can someone be so effortlessly charming yet unaware of the chaotic consequences? 

“Y-Yeah, totally, sorry man,” he croaks out, praying to all higher powers above that this brief interaction is over. Heeseung's love machine may be flawless, but Jake? He’s barely functional.

Jake stares at the floor, trying to process this entire ordeal, as the rest of the table returns to their everyday conversation. This is happening. This is real. He needs to find a way to get matched with you, or else he can kiss Salt and Pepper (two of the twelve cats he’s already mentally named and is now emotionally invested in) goodbye. He glances over at you, who’s already—bless your curiosity—downloading the app. 

Jake gulps. He’s doomed. 

Today's the day. Jake’s internal doomsday. 

Also known as, MatchMatic-3000-launches-it's-questions-day. 

To the group's surprise, Heeseung’s love machine has gone viral across campus—it’s been the buzz of the school since his mass email blast 24 hours ago. 

“Alright gang, let’s see if this app is as magical as Heeseung’s ego claims!” you declare, your eyes sparkling with excitement as you join everyone at the usual lunch table outside.

Jake, sitting beside you, is staring at his phone like it holds the secrets of the universe. 

“I’m just hoping it matches me with someone who understands the sacred bond between a man and his video game console,” he mutters, sneakily glancing at your screen to see if you’re answering questions about your favorite video games. Because obviously, that’s the secret to his heart. 

You’re too engrossed in the questions on your phone to notice his subtle mission.

“Even better,” you say without looking up, “I hope it matches me with someone who’ll actually play video games with me.”

Then, you look up and throw him a quick wink. Casual. Effortless. But to Jake? It’s like being a victim of a hit and run to the heart. 

He’s definitely as red as his Asian Flush after two shots of soju. Maybe three.

Jay suddenly chimes in, “What if the app pairs us with people who have weird hobbies? Like, what if I get matched with someone who collects miniature spoons or lives in a house made entirely of cheese?” 

Grace snickers at the overly dramatic boy. “Jay, I think you’d thrive in a cheese house. You’ve already mastered the art of cheesy puns.”

Jake, still staring at his phone, suddenly gets an epiphany, “Wait, do you think it can match you with someone who’s just as obsessed with obscure internet memes as I am?”

You let out a giggle towards his direction, amused by his question, which makes Jake realize that he said that out loud. Well, if he made you laugh, that's a win in his book.

Heeseung, noticing Jake’s moment of glory, nods. 

“Oh, definitely. You might end up with someone who can appreciate a well-timed ‘Doge’ meme or has a shrine dedicated to Rickrolling."

“These questions are so random! A black cat or a golden retriever? What does that even mean?” you exclaim suddenly, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. 

“Excuse me, it’s all about the science of psychology, Y/N—” Heeseung stabs his fork into his pasta with an almost theatrical flair, “—the algorithm needs to understand your deepest preferences. It’s not about cats or dogs; it’s about what your choices say about your soul.”

Jay, munching on his questionable-looking dining hall taco, grins. “So, basically, the app’s trying to figure out if we’re more ‘moody cat person’ or ‘happy-go-lucky dog lover.’ Got it.”

Jake’s thumb hovers nervously over his screen as he reaches the same question himself. His eyes dart back to your screen but can’t seem to make out what you’ve selected. You’re biting your lip in concentration, and Jake’s brain glitches for a second because, wow, how can someone look so cute answering stupid personality questions?

Heeseung notices Jake’s expression from across the table and leans back in his chair with a knowing smirk. “Jake, you look like you’re solving world hunger over there. What’s the deal? Just pick whatever, man.” 

“I’m—I’m just being thorough, okay? This app’s gonna decide my entire love life. No pressure or anything,” Jake shifts uncomfortably, his face heating up.  

Jay snorts, stuffing yet another taco in his mouth, "Jake’s acting like the app’s about to determine the rest of his life. Just chill, man. You’ll get paired with someone. Even if it’s someone who only eats purple foods or, I don’t know, makes miniatures of their exes.” 

"Y/N's definitely getting paired with someone awesome," Grace teases, nudging you playfully from your other side. "Someone tall, athletic, probably knows how to cook gourmet meals."  

Jake internally winces at the description. Tall? He's definitely 6 feet...on a good day...with the right shoes. Athletic? Jake plays soccer! Well..played. In, like, middle school. Gourmet meals? He considers dino nuggets a gourmet meal so...he's practically a Michelin-star chef.  

You laugh at Grace's comment, shaking your head, "Honestly, I'm just hoping for someone who doesn't ghost me after three texts. Low bar, I know."  

Jake swallows besides you. Three texts. Got it. Don't ghost her, even if you do forget what words are in her presence.  

Suddenly, you look up from your phone and turn to lock eyes with Jake. "What did you put Jake? Black cat or golden retriever?"  

Jake freezes. Oh no, is this a test? This is definitely a test. He panics for a split second while his brain scrambles for the lobe that contains actual, cohesive, vocabulary.

"Uh, golden retriever. Definitely," he blurts out, voice higher than usual. "Golden retrievers are...loyal. And fun. Kinda like...you?" The last part slips out before he can stop himself.  

The table goes silent. Jay chokes on his suspicious taco. Grace's eyebrows shoot up in amusement. Heeseung stares at Jake like he's watching the most entertaining drama unfold right in front of him. 

You blink at Jake, then follow it with a soft giggle. "You're comparing me to a dog now?"  

Jake goes bright red, stammering as he's viciously shaking his head, "No—I mean—not like that! I just meant—"  

But you're still laughing next to him, he can feel your shoulders happily shaking against his, and while he's completely mortified, he can't help but feel the tiniest flicker of hope. At least you're laughing with him, not at him. Right? Right?  

"Did anyone consider the fact that we might get matched up with one another?" Jay changes the topic as he wipes the remaining taco shell crumbs off his mouth.

Jake notices the look of pure horror plastered on both you and Grace's faces.  

"Ew," you pretend to gag, while Grace laughs next to you. "Hard pass. You've got the same level of commitment as a first grader has with finishing their homework, and Heeseung’s definitely gonna end up marrying a computer. Plankton and Karen style. I think I'd rather date a Roomba. And you know I hate Roombas."  

Jake can't help the smile tugging at his lips. He knows you're joking, but hearing you rule out the other two makes him feel just a little better. But then...wait.  

You didn't say anything about Jake. What if you’ve already ruled Jake out, too? Not even a contender against Jay and Heeseung? The panic sets in as he thinks oh god, maybe she sees me like an actual Roomba—just following her around, waiting for crumbs of affection. 

Heeseung feigns hurt by dramatically clutching his heart. "Oh no. I'm so heartbroken," he deadpans.  

"I'd date you, Hee, don't worry," Jay winks, and without missing a beat, Heeseung blows him an exaggerated air kiss. "Thanks, babe." 

Jake, still lost in his thoughts, wonders if he’s been friend-zoned so hard he’s transcended into actual appliance territory, right next to the Roombas.

Everyone's laughing over Heeseung and Jay's antics, while Jake here is spiraling into a full-on existential crisis over accepting his fate as the Roomba of your heart. 

Is this my life now? I'm a...self-cleaning vacuum?

Jake comes to a realization the next morning: he can’t just settle for being the human equivalent of a non-sentient vacuum in your life. He needs to take action—and he needs to do it fast. Especially before the algorithm matches you with some 6-foot-tall, athletic, five-star chef who probably wakes up with flawless skin and has a perfectly curated Spotify playlist.  

Jake’s brain scrambles for ideas, as he stares hopelessly at the blank essay document on his laptop titled: "History of Modern Warfare (with revisions)" His essay can wait. World War II may have been a big deal, but this? This is you. Only the most important thing to walk this earth (in Jake's eyes, at least).  

What would a normal human being do? Grow a pair, march right up to you, and say something charming (probably, Jake wouldn't know). But Jake? Jake knows there’s a higher chance of him learning to speak fluent French in the next 24 hours than actually telling you how he feels.

Because that would require practice—in front of a mirror, at least five times a day, for three days straight. And by then, the matches will already be out, and you'll be swept off your feet by some handsome demigod in human form.  

Jake sighs as he tries to type at least one sentence of his essay, hoping it will distract him from his lingering thoughts of you. Your smile, your laughter, your wink, your voice saying ‘Jakey’... 

“The Battle of Normandy marked a significant turning point…” 

Jake frowns. Turning point. Oh, great. That’s exactly what Jake’s waiting for—a turning point with you. Except his 'battle plan' is to let Heeseung’s love algorithm do the work for him. Yeah, sure. Because nothing says romantic courage like leaving your fate up to a glorified love machine. 

Jake groans at the screen. He tries to type more, but his brain is already spiraling into worst-case scenarios. What if you get matched with someone who can bench-press a refrigerator? Or worse—someone who actually knows how to emotionally open up to you?

Frustrated, Jake slams his laptop shut, earning dirty glares from the students studying quietly around him in the library. His essay is long forgotten at this point. Who cares about The Battle of Normandy when his entire (nonexistent) love life is crumbling right in front of him?  

He pulls at his hair in sheer desperation, searching for answers, any answers, to this disaster. Think, Jake, think! 

Wait. 

That's it.  

Answers. He needs answers! Not the kind that would magically fix his social dysfunction around you. No, not those—that’s way beyond saving.

But your answers. The ones you put into The Matchmatic 3000. If Jake could somehow get a hold of those, he could match his responses to yours perfectly. Then BAM! Instant match. One foot in the door. Then maybe, just maybe, you'd stop seeing him as some automated dust-sucker. 

A smile forms across Jake's face. Pure genius (self-proclaimed, of course).  

Yes, this is the solution to all his problems. Well, except for the crippling anxiety and social awkwardness part. But one thing at a time, right? 

Now he just needs your answers.  

And possibly a therapist.  

“Jake! What's wrong?" Grace appears at Jake's table tucked away in the back of the library, her hair frazzled and disheveled from her sprint across campus as a result of Jake's ‘SOS’ text.

Jake is sitting at the table, hands folded, looking perfectly intact, totally not at all in an ‘SOS’ situation, and has a small smile on his face as he looks up at his best friend. 

“I figured it out!”

"You better tell me you just figured out time travel or the cure for world hunger, because I just full-on sprinted across campus thinking you got your laptop stolen or, heaven forbid, you got your hand trapped in the printer again,” Grace's eyes narrow as she takes a seat across from him. 

"I told you not to mention that again! It was an honest mistake," Jake's eyes widen, afraid people around them heard about Jake's embarrassingly tragic battle with the library’s printer. "But no, it's even better than that. It's kinda...off the books though."

Grace blinks back at him. "How off the books? Like...'help me hide the body' off the books, or 'expose the secret recipe to the dining hall's mysterious tacos' off the books?”

Jake glances around to make sure no one's eavesdropping, then lowers his voice, "More like...'help me get Y/N's answers to the Matchmatic 3000' off the books?"

There's a beat of silence as Grace struggles to process the absurdity of what she just heard.  

“Wait, hold up. You want me to help you cheat the dating app?”

Jake nods fervently, if not a little desperately. 

"It's not cheating! Call it...strategic alignment. I need to make sure I match with her. That's the only way I could ever get a chance, and you're the only one who can help me!"

Grace leans in from across the table, clearly in disbelief, yet amused, "So let me get this straight...you want me to somehow get her answers, so you can change yours to match hers, in hopes that Hee's magical AI or whatever pairs you two together?"

Jake attempts to give her his best 'please help me' puppy eyes, but it's clear he's more of a lost kitten right now.

"And you're asking me to get my hands dirty...why exactly?" She smirks at the fidgety Jake, finding his over-the-top desperation for you both amusing and oddly endearing.

"Uh..because you're my best friend, duh. And also, you're the closest to her—if Jay and Hee found out, they'd never let me live it down! And Jay would probably make a TikTok about it just to watch me die from embarrassment," Jake rambles, hoping he can convince the seemingly unimpressed girl in front of him.

“Uh-huh," Grace raises an eyebrow. "And what’s in it for me? Sure, I'm your best friend, but I'm also her friend and ever-so-loyal roommate. You're asking for a lot here, bud."

Jake looks flustered for a moment, as if he hadn’t really thought about that part. 

“Uh, well, I could—um—maybe buy you coffee for a week? Or, I don’t know, do your physics thesis project you've been avoiding."

Grace pretends to consider his offer for a second, but the second he mentions ‘physics thesis project’, her decision is instantly made.

"Fine," she sighs, leaning back in her chair. "But just so you know, if this goes sideways, I was never here."

Jake smiles like he just won the lottery. Salt & Pepper, here I come!

"But also…," Grace begins, looking right at Jake, making him squirm. Not in a cute Y/N-noticed-me type of squirm, but the oh-no-I'm-about-to-get-lectured kind. "Take my advice, Jake. Stop being a wuss."

Jake's grin falters at his friend's sudden, but painfully true, words.

Grace leans in, her voice serious, "I mean, you can't just hide behind an app and hope for the best. If you really want a shot with Y/N, you need to actually, I don’t know, tell her your feelings? She's not some untouchable goddess who's going to smite you for shooting their shot." 

Jake winces. "But what if she's not interested? What if I make it weird? What if—"

"Jake," Grace's voice cuts through his spiraling thoughts. "You won't know unless you try! And you're a great guy, but how would Y/N know that if you don't open yourself up more? Seriously, what's the worst that could happen?"

"Uh. Spontaneous combustion? If I look her in the eyes for longer than 5 seconds, I just might implode. Or, you know, cease to exist," Jake deadpans, his hands gesturing wildly to emphasize his impending doom.

Grace snorts at her poor, poor friend, clearly amused by his romantic spiral. "Okay, first, no one's ever died from eye contact, buddy. Second, I'm not saying you should storm out there and go ask for her hand in marriage or anything—please, don't do that. I'm just saying, just at least try talking to her more maybe.” Baby steps, Grace thinks, baby steps. 

Jake blinks. She's right. Of course she's right. He can’t let some algorithm control his entire love life, no matter how advanced or magical Heeseung claims it is.

Grace, seeing Jake's gears slowly turning, throws him a lifeline: “Alright, fine. If it makes you feel better, she may or may not have called you cute once. Better?"

Jake freezes. His eyes widen like a deer caught in headlights. Cute? You called him cute? All the oxygen leaves his lungs, and he’s pretty sure he’s about to pass out right here in the library. 

"Wait, what?"

"Don’t get too excited," Grace smirks, clearly enjoying watching Jake short-circuit. "She said it in passing. Once."

Jake, now on the verge of a mental breakdown, blurts out, "Like, ‘aw-that-puppy-is-cute’ cute? Or like, ‘he’s-so-cute-I-wanna-kiss-him’ cute? I need specifics, Grace!"

Grace’s grin widens, watching her friend spiral into oblivion. "Jake, you’re overthinking it again. Relax. Just take the win."

"Grace, please, I'm begging you. On a scale from 'puppy' to 'kiss', where do I stand?!" Jake's eyes are practically bugging out of his head at this point. 

Grace rolls her eyes, but her teasing smile doesn't falter. "If you keep freaking out like this, you’re gonna drop down to 'awkward goldfish' cute real quick." 

"I’m doomed,” Jake groans, burying his face in his hands. 

Grace pats his back with mock sympathy. "Yep. But at least she'll think you're cute while doing it."

Jake peeks at her through his fingers. “You think she meant 'kiss' cute?”

"Finish your plan first, lover boy. Then we’ll talk."

Jake can’t help the ridiculous smile growing on his face.

Kiss cute, he decides. It has to be. 

You think if you have to read one more sentence about human anatomy, you might actually cry. You sigh as you close your textbook and push it aside to reside with the unnecessary amount of highlighters scattered on the café table between you and Grace.

"I hate this. I hate the circulatory system. Why do I even need to know what the ‘superior vena cava’ is," you groan as you take a sip of what's left of your watered down iced matcha.

Grace hums in front of you as her eyes continually scan the textbook, desperate to absorb just enough information to survive tomorrow's anatomy quiz.

"Because it keeps you alive, Y/N. Duh," Grace jokes as her eyes stay peeled to her textbook.

"Screw that," you scoff. "I don't need the circulatory system to keep me alive. I just need caffeine and BTS's entire discography pumped through my veins to live."

Grace finally glances up, giving you an amused side-eye at your usual dramatic flair, before she remembers she has an important mission at hand: 

Operation Jake & Y/N. 

Grace slams her textbook closed with a dramatic thud to show she's finished studying (she's not). 

"Sooo...speaking of circulatory systems and...hearts and...stuff—did you ever finish filling out the questions for Hee's love app thingy?"

You, oblivious to the sudden change in topic, shrug as you fish your straw around your plastic cup, hoping to find more drops of watery matcha to savor. 

"Yeah, I finished it the other day. It took me forever though. Like, why does it need to know if I'd rather have a personal trainer who can only teach me interpretive dance versus a personal chef who can only cook cereal? I swear Hee was on some drugs or something while creating those questions."

"Not drugs, probably an unhealthy amount of caffeine and ramen though," Grace snorts, still trying to play it cool.

"Caffeine is a drug, doofus," you say pointedly, right before you get a smack in the forehead by Grace's crumbled up straw wrapper.

"Whatever," Grace laughs. "Hey I'm curious—what did you put for your answers? Wanna compare? See how similar we are?" Grace's leg is bouncing under the table, trying to keep up the ‘smooth’ façade, hoping you won't find her sudden interest weird.

"Sure, why not?" you nonchalantly agree, not thinking twice about the random request.

Grace blinks in surprise. That was...way easier than expected. She was ready to prepare some elaborate excuse, like ‘I need your answers to match you up with my desperate best friend who's head over heels for you!’

Oh wait. That part is real. You get the gist.

"Unless...," you pause suddenly. Uh oh. "Unless you're going to sell my answers to some mad scientist and they try to make an evil clone of me to take over the world and end up framing me and I'll have to clear my name in a dramatic world-televised court trial."

Grace blinks, before rolling her eyes, as her nervous heartbeat returns to a normal rate. 

“You're so goddamn weird sometimes.” 

You beam at your friend, clearly amused at yourself, as you scroll through your answers and send screenshots to Grace without a second thought. "Sent! Oh, and send me yours—I wanna know what you put for 'Stuck in a room with Shrek for 24 hours' versus 'Fight 100 duck-sized horses.'"

“Oh, vibe with Shrek, 100%,” Grace answers without skipping a beat, earning an agreeing high five from you.

Grace is ecstatic. This was so much easier than she thought. Not only does this mean her desperate best friend will finally get his shot with you (which also means she won’t have to hear his dramatic overthinking questions over whether you sharing a sandwich with him was a cosmic sign or just a sandwich), but it also guarantees her a week of free coffee and an A+ in physics for this semester.

She quickly types out a quick message to Jake as you're still distracted by your now near empty matcha cup:

Grace [1:26PM]: "mission accomplished. prepare for epic matchmaking success and a lifetime supply of guilt-free caffeine. for me, ofc"

Grace leans back in satisfaction, practically tasting the sweet (and caffeinated) taste of victory. She's done her end of Mission Impossible, and now it's up to Jake to do...well, whatever Jake does in these situations.

Her phone buzzes with a reply from Jake:

Jake [1:28PM]: THANK YOU!!! also...not a lifetime supply...just a week. don't get it twisted"

"Look, all I'm saying is," you declare, leaning back on the couch, "if all five of us pitch in, we could most definitely rob a bank." 

What had started as a group study session two hours ago in your and Grace's apartment has, as usual, turned into your friend group's typical day of hanging out: wildly imagining scenarios so far removed from reality that there’s absolutely no chance you’d end up in them—but entertaining the idea anyway, because what else are you going to do when you're supposed to be studying?

Grace snickers from beside you, "Yeah, and with your stealth skills, we'd get caught in about three business seconds. You literally screamed when I dropped that piece of paper yesterday."

"It startled me! Gravity's such a scary concept, okay?" You huff, arms crossed. Jake, sitting on your other side, fights back the slight grin growing on his face as he watches you scrunch your face in that way he secretly finds unfairly cute, even if it is over your fear of inanimate objects. So weirdly adorable.

Heeseung, sitting cross-legged on the floor from across the couch, raises an eyebrow, “Y/N, do you even know how banks work?”

“She’s got the spirit. I’d give her a solid 7/10 for enthusiasm. Execution, though? Negative two,” Jay says as crosses his arms with a grin from beside Heeseung. 

You grab and throw a couch pillow at him, which he dodges with ease, sticking out his tongue. Jake instinctively shifts closer to you, to your oblivion, like he’s ready to shield you from any incoming retaliation missiles.

“What, and you’d be the brains of the operation? Mr. ‘I forgot my own phone password for two days?’” You fire back.

Jay shrugs, unfazed, “Hey, no need to bring up the past. We all make mistakes.”

“Yeah,” Jake finally chimes in, hoping you will notice how smooth he sounds, “but not all of us text our own phone ‘Why won’t you let me in?’ while the password is literally ‘1234.’”

Everyone laughs, except Jay, who gasps and points dramatically at Jake, “Betrayal. How dare you?”

“It’s public knowledge, bro. You told everyone,” Jake raises his hands in defense, but his eyes keep flickering back to you, wondering if your sweet laughter is because of him this time. And call him delusional, but he really thinks it is. You throw your head back from laughing so hard, at some point your hand graces Jake’s knee next to yours to stabilize yourself. 

It’s no secret—well, at least not to Grace—that Jake’s newfound confidence around you is all thanks to that one tiny lifeline Grace threw him: you called him cute once. Just once. And now, Jake’s running with it, holding on for dear life, and convincing himself that maybe, just maybe, you think about him the same way he thinks about you. Maybe. 

“I told you all in confidence! That was a moment of weakness!” Jay crosses his arms, looking like a child who just got scolded at. “I trusted you people.”

Grace, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the coffee table, pouts at Jay, “And that, my friend, was your first mistake.” 

“Et tu, Grace?” Jay gasps, clutching his chest like he’s been personally victimized by the betrayal of his closest friends. Well…he was. 

Heeseung, shaking his head, cuts in, “Okay, but if we’re robbing a bank, I’m in charge. I’m the only one here with any common sense.” 

You frown, “What do you mean? I have common sense! I brushed my teeth today and everything!”

Jake watches you with a soft smile, finding even your exaggerated outrage so weirdly adorable.

Grace bursts out laughing, “Y/N, sweetie, that’s basic hygiene, not common sense. But good job. We’re all proud of you.”

Jake, clearly riding his boost of confidence from earning that one (1) laugh from you, decides to add in and nods, looking completely serious, “Honestly, I think we should celebrate that. Maybe get you a gold sticker or something.” 

“You guys are bullies,” you mutter, sinking into the couch, but you're laughing too. Jake tries to hide how melted he feels when you laugh like that—all bright and simply, you.

“It's nothing personal, Y/N,” Heeseung adds, smirking, "but you can't easily get startled by inanimate objects and claim you have common sense."

Jay snickers, pointing at you, “Remember that time you thought the vacuum was attacking you?”

You shoot him a glare, debating on throwing yet another couch pillow at him, “It moved on its own, okay? That’s suspicious.”

"The Roomba was doing its job. You nearly declared war on the thing," Grace, mouth full of popcorn, can't defend you on this one.

Jake, on the other hand, feels compelled to defend you, even if he knows it’s ridiculous. You know, since he could relate to the whole impending-mental-doom-by-a-Roomba thing, "The Roomba was being weird that day.”

Jay side-eyes Jake, “Oh, so now you’re on Team Roomba Conspiracy? That’s rich.”

That is rich, considering Jake nearly signed up for therapy just days ago after having an existential crisis over being recruited to join your arch-nemesis—Roombas. Now here he was, ready to go to battle for your anti-automated-dust-sucker stance.

Jake shrugs, refusing to make eye contact with anyone, suddenly hyper-aware of your attention on him, “I just think we shouldn’t dismiss Y/N’s concerns so quickly.”

You turn to him with the softest smile he's seen in the history of smiles—one that fully knocks the breath right out of him. 

“Aw thank you, Jake! Someone around here finally gets it,” you momentarily rest your head on his shoulder for two fleeting seconds—short enough to show your appreciation but long enough to utterly dismantle the boy’s composure. 

He’s frozen. Brain empty, no thoughts…except for the scent of your shampoo rushing his senses. He’s not sure if he’s about to pass out or propose.

“Simp,” Jay mutters under his breath, just loud enough for Jake to hear. Jake shoots him a warning look, making Jay’s smirk grow wider. 

Grace, still giggling at the memory of you running away from a Roomba, then turns to Heeseung with a curious grin, "Speaking of concerns, how's the app going? When are we gonna find out who's paired with who?"

Heeseung immediately groans, frustratingly running a hand through his hair, "It's...going, alright. Some people are weird, man. I don't even know how to process some of these answers."

"Really? How so?" You perk up at this, interested. 

Heeseung sighs as he pulls his phone out of his pocket, "Okay, look at this—someone put 'ramen' as an answer for what they're looking for in a partner."

Jay snorts, "Sounds like something you’d put, honestly. You should match yourself up with them!"

"And this person," Heeseung continues, scrolling and displaying his phone to the rest of the group, "just answered 'vibes' to every single question. Every. One. What does that even mean?!"

Everyone shrugs around the coffee table in confusion as the exasperated boy dramatically tosses his phone to the side like it personally offended him.

"Anyways. I should be done tonight, so hopefully the matches get released tomorrow," he reveals, to everyone's excitement.

"Ohmygosh, tomorrow?" Grace claps her hands lightly. "I can't wait, I hope I get paired with someone who, like, is secretly Spiderman or something. You know, someone with substance."

"I'm nervous, what if I get a total weirdo?" You mutter, eyes widening at the thought.

Jake thinks to himself: as long as he gets paired with you, he doesn't mind being a total weirdo. He'll be your total weirdo. He'll dye his hair neon rainbow, start collecting Russian nesting dolls, and live in a treehouse if that's what it takes.

"Y/N," Jay speaks up, cocking his head out from the bag of potato chips he's currently annihilating, "if anything, you're gonna be the weird one in whatever relationship you end up in."

You instinctively reach for another pillow to throw at him, but Jake is faster, shielding his arms around you, "Okay, okay, let's be nice. I'm sure Y/N will end up with someone perfectly normal, and anyone who ends up with Y/N will not find her weird at all." 

That's because Jake better be the one that ends up with you. And he definitely doesn't think you're weird. Well maybe a little. In an endearing way.

And hopefully, in your eyes, he's normal. Or not—it's all the same to him, as long as he's the one by your side. 

All the steps are set in stone. Now, he just needs the algorithm to do its thing and simply match you two together—which is bound to happen, given Jake is practically a Y/N 2.0 after copying all your answers. If this doesn't work, then the universe is officially out to get him. 

Yes. Everything will happen according to plan.

It has to.  

Nothing goes according to plan.  

Jake's eyes dart in panic between Grace's look of confusion and your phone screen, currently displaying to the rest of the lunch table your so-called soulmate's name, which, surprise surprise—it's not Jake.

Instead, it reads:  

Match: Park Sunghoon 

You shrug as you glance up from your phone, completely unaware of the Tom and Jerry hole Jake is crawling back down right now, "I think he's that new transfer student. I've seen him around in my psychology class, he's kinda cute!"  

Jake's heart sinks deeper than he thought was humanly possible. Cute? Like 'puppy' cute or 'kiss' cute? Oh god, his worst nightmare is coming true. He's about to be banished back to the sad category of 'automated vacuums' in your heart, left to raise 12 kittens on his own.  

Jay frowns, crossing his arm, "No fair, I haven't gotten my match yet, and Y/N gets the cute new kid? This is rigged."  

Heeseung smirks, leaning back in his chair like some algorithm god, "Patience, child. The results are rolling out throughout the entire day. I added that feature for the 'element of surprise.'" 

Grace, meanwhile, subtly leans towards Jake while everyone else rambles over your match, "Looks like the universe hates you."  

"I can't believe it didn't work. It doesn't make any sense, it has to be broken or something,” Jake says, visibly upset, trying his very best to not dig himself a grave right then and there in the middle of the university's quad.  

Grace shrugs, feeling confusion on behalf of her best friend as well, "At least you can say you tried. Maybe the universe is trying to hint at you to actually talk to her and get into a relationship the normal, organic way."  

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbles. But Jake is too perplexed to listen to Grace's—very, very, valid—logic right now. 

Jake's thoughts spiral faster than a malfunctioning Roomba trapped in a corner, repeatedly slamming into the same wall with no hope of escape. Honestly, Jake wishes there was a wall around him right now to repeatedly slam his head into. Maybe that way the delulu in him—the one that convinced him he could hack his way into your heart—can finally escape his brain.  

His brain is short-circuiting in panic, bouncing between the reality of his failure and the absolute tragedy that Sunghoon—the cute transfer student (you probably think he's kiss-cute too)—is about to waltz in and steal his entire future. Jake can already picture Sunghoon effortlessly holding all twelve hypothetical kittens, while Jake is left alone with nothing but his shattered dreams. 

Before Jake can imagine another over dramatic scenario in his head of you and Sunghoon that would make him physically rip out his own heart and stomp all over it, Grace's phone suddenly pings.

"You've got to be kidding me."  

Everyone turns to look at her, as Grace glances up from her phone, the look of pure horror on her face.  

Grace slowly turns her phone around for everyone to see, and there, in bold letters, sits:

Match: Park Jongseong  

A beat of silence (or as Grace would call it, moment of silence for the fallen. The fallen being Grace), then... 

“HA!” Jay cackles, pointing at her. “Sucks to be you.” 

"Oh, you think this is funny, Park?" Grace glares at him, and at everyone else for giggling at the absurd match. "I would literally rather match with my chemistry TA who wears socks with sandals."  

Heeseung perks up, clearly overly amused at the match drama ensuing around the table, "Wait, that chem TA's not that bad lowkey..."  

Grace throws him a look, "Hee, this isn't about Steve the TA! This is about my life being ruined in real time!"  

Jake tunes in and scoffs, so shocked at his friend's statement, he forgot the setting they're all in, "Your life being ruined? What about mine?"  

Jake quickly silences himself after he realizes what he just said..and in front of you. 

"What about your life getting ruined, Jake? Did you get your match yet?" You look up at him from across the table, curious who could possibly have Jake in such shambles (Ironic, isn't it?). 

"Err—no, not yet. What I mean is..uhh," Jake stammers, his remaining brain cells (which isn't many at this point) trying to muster up the best lie they could to cover himself. "My life would totally be ruined if Grace and Jay end up together because...uhh..because I'd totally have to third-wheel them all the time!"  

Yes, that's good Jake. Good job, good job.  

You seem to be convinced enough by the excuse, your eyes suddenly widening in fear.

"Oh god, you're so right! This means Jay's gonna be over at our apartment all the time now. He'll probably never leave,” you visibly shudder.

Grace gestures wildly at the entire table in disbelief, "You guys! What in the world makes you think Jay and I are going to end up together just because some love algorithm thinks we're good for each other? No offense, Hee."  

Jay, on the other hand, reclines back in his chair, looking entirely too smug for someone who just got called out as a last-choice match, "Hey, the algorithm knows what's up. Maybe this is fate, Grace. This could be fun." He points between the two of them, as if sealing a deal.  

"Fun?! Wrestling a bear made entirely of thorns sounds more fun," Grace physically recoils, like she just touched something soggy in the sink's drain, her expression sending the whole table into laughter. 

"Honestly, I see it. Can't fight the science," you speak up, throwing a knowing look at Grace before Jay gives you an appreciative high-five from across the table.  

Grace snaps her head towards you and gasps, "Traitor! How dare you—you better sleep with your door locked tonight or I swear—"  

"ALL I'm saying is—" you raise your hands in defense, interjecting before Grace can vow to eliminate you and your future lineage from the face of this planet, "—I think it’s kind of sweet you matched with someone you actually know, you know? I mean, I wish I got paired with a close friend. I’ve always believed in the friend-to-significant-other pipeline." 

Friend to significant other? Jake's internal monologue screeches to a halt. Y/N, I'm right here! I could be the one, not Sunghoon! That could be us!

Then, as if you could read his thoughts, your gaze meets Jake’s for just a beat too long, lingering in that space where words usually get lost. Jake swears your expression softens for half a second before you casually shift your focus back on Grace. His brain is officially overheating. Was that a hint? Was it? 

Oh my god. She’s totally hinting at me.

Or—no, wait. Maybe he's reading into it again. Maybe he's so deep into this 'delulu' life that now every sentence feels like it's tailor-made just for him. 

Yeah, that has to be it. Definitely the latter, right? Right. 

Heeseung perks up from his seat, pointing at Grace, "See? She's right. Trust the science. And the friendship! But mostly the science. Science doesn’t mess up, man. It must've sensed some... undercurrents between you and Jay." 

Grace looks like she’s about to leap across the table and strangle Heeseung with his own hoodie strings, but Jay interrupts with a wide grin. 

"Yeah, undercurrents, Gracey-poo. We’re destined." 

You lose it, breaking into uncontrollable laughter as Grace pretends to dry heave at the sound of the pet name. 

"And just like that," she says, dramatically standing up from her seat, "I think that’s my cue to leave. If I hear Jay call me ‘Gracey-poo’ again, I’m going to bleach my ears." 

The entire table is still laughing while Grace makes her swift escape to her next class. You finally manage to catch your breath, turning to Jake with a small smile (which also casually happens to send his brain into overdrive. No big deal, really). 

"I'm excited to see who you get paired with, Jake! I bet she's amazing."  

Jake feels his heart sink a little, but he forces a casual smile. No one is as amazing as you though (cheesy, but painfully true).

Trying to cover his disappointment, Jake shrugs, "I don’t know... I’m not really that into this whole matchmaking thing anyway." He leans back, feigning nonchalance. "I don’t think I’ll actually do anything with whoever I get matched with." 

Jake can’t tell if the small breath you let out is in relief or if, once again, he’s feeding his delusional part of his brain that’s been working overtime. 

But before he can overthink it, you raise an eyebrow, teasing him, "What? You’re not even curious? What if it’s someone perfect for you?" 

Jake laughs awkwardly, desperately trying to keep his cool. It would be perfect if it was you. But instead, he blurts out, "Yeah, maybe they’ll match me with my future laundry partner. Who knows?" Laundry? Really, Jake? 

"That would be a miracle," Heeseung looks up from his phone, gesturing towards Jake, "this guy never does his laundry."  

Jake shoots him a sharp look, "Not true! I just need...some motivation.." 

"Motivation from your future girlfriend?" Jay chimes in, raising an eyebrow. "That's gotta be a new low, dude."  

You nudge Jake's arm from across the table, grinning, "Hey, maybe the algorithm’s just that good. It knows you need a laundry-loving girlfriend in your life." 

Jake snorts, playing along, but his thoughts are a mess. Laundry-loving girlfriend? Nah, Jake needs you as his girlfriend—no question about it.

As you turn your attention back to your phone, the smile fades from Jake’s face, just for a second. His eyes linger on you longer than he means to, before he leans his head on his hand, pretending to care about whatever random TikTok Heeseung is showing him right now.  

But the video’s a blur. All Jake can focus on is how wrong everything feels. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. You were supposed to be his match. You are his match. He knows it.  

Forget laundry-doing-girlfriends or algorithm-approved pairings. If the app really knew what Jake needed, it would’ve led him straight to you. 

And honestly, Jake’s pretty sure he’s smarter than the sleep-deprived, ramen-fueled algorithm Heeseung cooked up. So yeah, screw the love machine. 

If the app won’t do it for him, then it’s time he takes matters into his own hands. 

(About time.)

“Please please please pleeeeease!” Jake’s trailing behind Heeseung throughout their shared living room like a toddler whose candy got snatched, but way more desperate.

Yeah, uh, this is Jake's idea of taking matters into his own hands.  

This is officially the billionth time Heeseung’s heard this in the past 24 hours. At least this time Jake managed to wait until Heeseung was out of the shower and fully clothed before launching into his regularly programmed meltdown. Progress, right? 

“Jake! You do realize what you’re asking me, right? You sound insane.” Heeseung's patience is thinner than the cup ramen noodles he’s survived on for the past week. He takes a seat on their couch, before pointedly looking at his desperate roommate. “You’re being ridiculously dramatic.” 

Jake scoffs, like the mature adult he is. “YOUR FACE is being ridiculously dramatic.” Yup. Like the mature adult he is.  

Heeseung came out to the living room in hopes of being able to catch up on the latest episode of The Bachelor, but to no avail, as the younger boy was waiting to catch him all day (not that Heeseung was actively avoiding Jake or anything, no definitely not). But instead of screaming at the TV in frustration at the bachelor's terrible decisions, here he was, staring at Jake, silently contemplating how many years in prison throwing him off their apartment's balcony would cost him. 

Three? Maybe four? Would it be worth it? Possibly. 

“All you gotta do,” Jake begins to launch his TED Talk, “is send out a mass email to all your participants and be like, ‘Oh noooo, the AI or robot or magical unicorn or whatever messed up!’ Then you just re-release the answers, but this time, pair me with Y/N, bada-bing bada-boom. Easy peasy.” 

Heeseung stares blankly. Honestly, prison doesn’t sound that bad. 

“First off, it’s not a robot. It’s an algorithm,” Heeseung says for the seventy-millionth time, contemplating launching his side career as a 'broken record'. “Second, if people found out it ‘messed up,’ my reputation would be in shambles. Can you imagine all the couples who met their match, only to find out it was a giant, steaming load of—” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Jake waves him off, deploying his best attempt (key word: attempt) at puppy-dog eyes. “But what about my soulmate?” 

Heeseung groans and rubs his temples, “Jake, if she’s really your soulmate, maybe try telling her how you feel like a normal human being instead of begging me to rewrite reality?” 

Jake pauses, then, in true Jake fashion, says: “Yeah, but like...nah.” 

Heeseung looks at Jake, who is now staring at him with the intensity of someone waiting for a miracle, “You really don’t see how unhinged this sounds, do you?” 

Jake blinks. 

“I mean, yeah, but, like, what if it works? I’m just saying, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Wayne Gretzky said that.” 

Heeseung rolls his eyes so hard he’s pretty sure he saw his past life flash by, “Did Wayne Gretzky also say, ‘Be a total weirdo and bother your friend to break all ethical codes and rig an algorithm because you’re too chicken to tell a girl you like her?’” 

Jake shrugs. “He might’ve. We don’t know his whole catalog of wisdom.” 

“I’m begging you—just talk to her. Or, I dunno, send her a meme on Instagram or something. Do anything other than harass me. Please.” 

Jake's face scrunches up like Heeseung just suggested he swim with sharks. “A meme? Really? Do I look like some kind of loser who communicates through memes? I’ll have you know I’m a very mature adu—” 

SMACK! 

A flying sock lands squarely on Jake’s head. He blinks, confused, as Jay strolls in from his room and plops next to Heeseung, looking way too pleased with himself, “Dude, you’re begging like a guy who just got ghosted by an ATM. Have some dignity.” 

“You’re not helping,” Jake glares, throwing the sock back at Jay. 

Jay, with the wisdom only a seasoned disaster like him can possess, shrugs, “Honestly, Heeseung, just rerun the thing. I’m pretty sure the universe would implode if this dude doesn’t get matched with Y/N. And frankly, I don’t want to deal with that level of cosmic drama.” 

“Jay, not you too,” Heeseung pinches the bridge of his nose as he realizes he needs to find a new spot to watch his show from now on. 

Jay raises his hands in mock surrender, “Hey, man, I’m just looking out for you. If Jake doesn’t get his way, he’ll never shut up. You’re one day away from him showing up at your room's door with a PowerPoint presentation. Think of your sanity. Plus, we all live together which means I have to see the presentation too. Think of my sanity.” 

“PowerPoint, huh? I could probably whip something up. Maybe add some pie charts and bar graphs,” Jake, clearly inspired, mutters to himself.  

Heeseung stares at the ceiling, wondering if this is his villain origin story (it most definitely is). “There’s absolutely no way I’m risking the integrity of my algorithm just because you can’t grow a backbone.”

Jake’s face falls, but Jay’s wheels are already turning on behalf of his friend, Mr. Simp, “Hold up, hold up. Hee, think about it. There’s gotta be something you want. I mean, everyone’s got a price, right?” 

Heeseung raises an eyebrow, still annoyed, yet intrigued. What? A good deal is a good deal.

“And what exactly do you think I want, Jay?” 

Jay flashes a grin that screams mischief. 

“We know you’ve been grinding on this algorithm for weeks, man. Barely sleeping. Barely eating,” Jay narrows his eyes in dramatic fashion, as though he’s about to uncover a deep secret. “You’re like two ramen packets away from full-on malnutrition. Sad really.” 

“Yeah, bro. We care about you. You need... balance. Maybe a reward for all your hard work?” Jake suddenly adds, nodding vigorously, picking up on Jay's scheming. 

Heeseung stares at them blankly, “Are you bribing me with...food?” 

“Not just any food,” Jake adds, gesturing dramatically. “Free food. Unlimited food from anywhere, for a month. On me. You’ll never have to eat those mystery meat tacos from the dining hall ever again.” 

Jay interjects, pointing at Jake, "Hey, I'll have you know, those tacos are actually quite good! You just have to deal with the initial frequent toilet trips when you first try them..." 

Heeseung’s resolve flickers for a moment. His stomach growls at the mere thought of having actual, edible food (for free!) that isn’t microwavable...or whatever they put in those tacos. 

Jake, sensing weakness, presses on, “AND… AND! I’ll do all your laundry. One month. No questions asked. I’ll even iron your shirts.” 

Jay, impressed by Jake's bargaining methods, nods his head along as if to convince the skeptical Heeseung, hoping to save himself from also having to hear Jake's consistent whining around the apartment any longer.  

Heeseung narrows his eyes. “I don’t iron my shirts.” 

“I’ll iron them anyway. Luxury service.” 

A pause. Heeseung’s brain is doing some serious mental gymnastics. On one hand, his precious algorithm. On the other… food that didn’t come from a vending machine and clean clothes that weren’t dug out of his laundry basket which is somewhere in the abyss that is his closet right now. 

Jay nudges him, whispering like he's the devil on Heeseung's left shoulder, “Think about it, man. What’s more important? Some random algorithm, or free pizza from that one place around the corner every day?” 

“I swear, if this comes back to bite me..,” Heeseung sighs, rubbing his temples but already thinking about the mouth-watering cheesy goodness he could be having every day.

“So, you’ll do it?!” Jake’s eyes suddenly light up with hope, reflecting the picture-perfect image of a golden retriever right now. 

“Fine,” Heeseung glares at him, feeling the last of his integrity slip away. “But if anyone asks, you never heard this from me. And I expect my meals hot and my laundry folded.”

Jake gleams and practically starts bouncing off their living room's walls. “Yes! Yes! You won’t regret this! I mean, you probably will, but thank you!” 

Heeseung shakes his head, regretting every life choice that led to this moment. Jay claps him on the back. “See? Was that so hard? Now you can live like a king for a whole month. I’d call that a win.” 

“A king with a crumbling empire,” Heeseung sighs.  

“Y/N, here I come!” Jake’s already halfway out their apartment's front door, with no destination in sight—just overjoyed with excitement that he feels he could run ten laps around campus right now (plot twist: he doesn't—he ends up running down the stairs just to get winded and comes right back up to the apartment). 

As Jake sprints off, Heeseung groans, “I’ve made a terrible mistake, haven’t I?” 

"Nah," Jay shrugs, already opening his phone. "Probably.” 

Heeseung realizes he, indeed, made a terrible mistake when he looks up from his phone at lunch the next day and sees a particular you, storming up to the table.

Once you reach the table, you thrust your phone into his face, the ‘rematch’ email, that Heeseung had sent out only a few minutes ago, on display:  

Subject [SCHOOL ANNOUNCEMENT] : MatchMatic 3000 Oopsie Alert  Hello there, awesome students & fellow singletons,  Sooo...this is awkward. Despite weeks of blood, sweat, and ramen going into the creation of the Matchmatic 3000, it appears that a tiny part of the code had a full-on meltdown 🤖💔  As a result, some of the matches you received earlier this week were... well... not exactly what the love gods (or the code) intended. But hey, don’t panic! Not everyone’s match was wrong, just a small handful (I swear, please don’t come for me!).   I truly apologize for the mix-up, and I’m already back at my desk (and caffeine-mixed-with-ramen-fueled) fixing it.  The correct matches will be sent out ASAP—right after I double, triple, and quadruple check that this algorithm doesn’t throw another tantrum.  Thanks for your patience, and please don’t hunt me down! 🙏 I promise I’ll do better next time... or, at the very least, make sure the matches don’t require emergency therapy sessions.  Your (struggling) Campus Cupid,   Lee Heeseung,   Creator of the Slightly Dysfunctional Love Algorithm™ 💘 

”What happened to ‘Oh, the science is never wrong! I’m very smart, trust me, I’m King Romantic Algorithm!’” You mock in your best Heeseung impression, earning amused looks from everyone around the table—well, everyone except Heeseung. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Heeseung groans, holding up his hands defensively. Heeseung still can’t believe he’s apologizing for absolutely no reason, except for the looming fact that his hopelessly-in-love-with-you roommate is making him. “I swear, it must’ve been all the sleep deprivation. Maybe the algorithm glitched somewhere between my tenth cup of ramen and a power nap.” 

Heeseung shoots a knowing side glance towards Jake without anyone noticing, and Jake looks anywhere but at the older boy, avoiding eye contact at all costs.  

Jay raises an eyebrow as he chews on his sandwich, “Honestly, I’m not mad about it. I was still holding out hope for that cute boba barista.” 

“Excuse me?” Grace smacks Jay’s arm without hesitation from beside him. “What’s wrong with being matched with me?” 

Jay blinks at her in disbelief. 

“You literally said you’d rather wrestle a bear made of thorns than go out with me.” 

“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want to go out with me,” Grace mutters, crossing her arms as Jay chuckles and nudges her back. 

“I don’t have time for your boba barista fantasies, Jay,” you grumble, feeling clearly annoyed over the rematch debacle.

Jake, sitting across from you, has been…well characteristically quiet, probably because he’s still trying to figure out how to comfort you without feeling a pang of guilt for being the reason you’re frustrated. But he gives it a shot anyway, turning to you with a cautious, almost-too-casual smile.  

“Are you really that upset over the rematch, Y/N?” His voice gentle, almost laced with concern, you would think. 

You glance up at him, instantly feeling less annoyed…for some reason. Jake’s always had this weird ability to calm you down without even trying. Maybe it was just his soft and steady demeanor that made you feel the need to match his. You take a deep breath, smoothing out the sharp edges of your mood before you speak.  

“It’s not that I was desperate to be with Sunghoon,” you start, your voice softer now. “I don’t know…I guess it was just kinda exciting and meeting someone new is always fun, you know? I think I’ve just been wanting something new or different in my life.”  

You trail off, and when you meet Jake's eyes again, you catch the way he's nodding along, completely absorbed in what you're saying. His attentiveness is cute, it makes something flutter in your chest—an unfamiliar warmth. You, a little curious, let the feeling linger, before quickly brushing it aside. 

But Jake? He feels that warmth too, though for him, it’s coupled with a twinge of jealousy. He's bothered. The thought of you seeking something ‘new’ with someone else twists in his chest, but he hides it with a smile, determined not to let you see how much it bothers him. 

“Well,” Jake begins, voice light but with a subtle undertone of something more you pick up on and you wonder what it is. “Maybe it’s a good thing. The rematch, I mean. It’s like a second chance. Everything happens for a reason, right? Maybe Sunghoon’s secretly a serial heartbreaker…or into collecting voodoo dolls or something.” 

You laugh, his humor breaking through any of your remaining frustration, and you raise an eyebrow at him. 

“You sound awfully optimistic about this,” you tease, trying to figure out if there’s something more to his words. Was there? Probably not, you deduce. Definitely not.  

Jake’s heart stutters, wondering if he's been caught red-handed. He fights the urge to panic and instead flashes you a cheesy grin and that somehow makes your stomach flip, though you can't exactly figure out why. 

“Just saying, it could be a blessing in disguise,” he shrugs, his tone playful but sincere. “Maybe this time, it’ll match you with someone who’s right in front of you.” 

Your breath catches as you take in his words quite literally. He’s just speaking metaphorically, right? But when your eyes meet again, there’s something in the way he looks at you—something that makes your heart skip a beat.  

For a moment, you don't know why, but you feel vulnerable in front of Jake. Jake, of all people. He’s always been sweet, always been there, but right now, the way he’s looking at you feels different. Maybe it's the way he's talking to you like you two are the only people at the table, like everything you're saying is heard and understood, and you feel seen amidst all the chaos. Like he’s seeing you in a way you’ve never quite noticed before. And it sends warmth radiating through you, mixing with the confusion already swirling in your chest. 

You blink and shake your head, you're overthinking. Jake is just being Jake—kind, supportive, and always ready to listen. That's just who he is. That's all.  

So why can you still feel his lingering gaze on you even as the conversation moves on? And why does it make you feel...something? Shy? Nervous? Excited? Maybe all of the above.  

Grace suddenly claps her hands together, breaking you out of your confusion, “Well, I think this whole rematch thing is the universe giving me a shot at a real love story,” she announces dramatically.  

“Right, because nothing says ‘romance’ like a computer’s ruling,” Jay rolls his eyes.  

Grace glares at him, “Maybe it’ll match me with someone who’s not emotionally unavailable for once.” 

You laugh at your friends' banter, but your thoughts are still stuck on Jake's words, and all you can think about is the possibility of getting paired with Jake. You feel a fluttering sensation at that thought, and as if you were afraid he could read your mind, you try to sneak a glance at him, only to catch him looking at you at the exact same moment. His eyes quickly dart away, making the interaction short enough to avoid any awkwardness but still long enough for you to catch the same gentle, almost longing expression, on his soft features.  

Your heart skips. 

Feeling exposed, you clear your throat, trying to break the silent tension you’re sure only you’re feeling. 

“Anyway,” you say, forcing a smile, “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end.” 

Your friends all nod and murmur in agreement at your statement, but your heart lingers on Jake. You can't help but glance back at him, your mind refusing to shake this unfamiliar feeling of...something—maybe the slightest flicker of hope—that you match with him. 

And maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't mind that at all.  

And for Jake, well, there’s only one version of ‘everything working out at the end,’ and it's simple, really—it's you. And for him, that’s the only ending that matters. 

Maybe Jake bit off a little more than he could chew this time. 

Sure, we’ve established that Jake’s inner simp—Jake Simp—is willing to do just about anything to end up with you. Training for a triathlon? Done. Cat-sitting twelve cats? He’d do it, no questions asked. So, naturally, promising Grace a week’s worth of iced coffee deliveries, finishing her physics poster, funding Heeseung’s meals and doing all his laundry for a month didn’t seem that bad in comparison. 

That was, until now—when he's speed-walking across campus, juggling an iced matcha latte (with two pumps of chai, because of course), a dry-cleaning bag with freshly ironed clothes, and a trifold poster board tucked precariously under his armpit, praying the drink doesn’t melt before he gets it to Grace.

Jake hastily rounds the corner by the library, barely keeping his balance when— 

Smack. 

Jake runs straight into someone, thankfully only sacrificing a few drops of the matcha as he stumbles, trying to keep everything from falling out of his grasp.

"Woah! Easy," an oddly familiar voice says, and when Jake looks up, he's met with your adorably amused expression. Of course it's you.

“Y/N!” Jake nearly chokes on his words, trying to steady himself. “I—uh, didn’t see you there.”

You laugh softly, your eyes flicking over everything in Jake's hold. 

"Is that a...physics project? I thought you took that class last year." 

Jake stalls, trying to recollect himself and somehow explain why he's running around campus with a trifold poster, (at this point, half-melted) iced matcha, and someone's else's dry cleaning, all over trying to end up with you. Because, yeah, there's really no way to explain that. But then...wait.

"I did take it last year," he says, eyebrows raised. "You remember that?"

Now you're the one seemingly flustered, as if you're the one that just ran into their crush, sweating beads over running a million of chores. 

You think your face is as red as a beet right now, well, at least it feels like it. 

"Uh—yeah, I guess I did," you give a sheepish smile, nervously tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and Jake thinks he's about to faint from lightheadedness right then and there.

"Plus, you were always talking about how the professor went on tangents about wormholes...but you would secretly enjoy them because you always swore you could survive getting sucked through one, remember?" 

Jake’s heart skips at the way you're ever so casually recalling these details that even he didn't remember. He doesn't know which one takes the leaderboard, you calling him ‘Jakey’, or this.

"Wow," he breathes, unable to hide the smile spreading across his face. "I didn't think you’d notice all that. I thought I was just rambling half the time and the group would nod along to just be nice."

You shrug, looking up at the boy in front of you while trying to play it off casually, even though your heart feels like it's about to break free from your ribcage. 

"Well, I guess I’ve just always remembered the stuff you talked about. It’s...kind of hard not to when you go on about it with that excited look on your face,” you quickly clamp your mouth and your eyes widen as you realize what you just said out loud. Yup, there goes your heart—broken out of your ribcage, running wild and free.

Jake blinks, mentally putting this interaction at the top of the leaderboard, for sure. 

"Wait, seriously?" Jake's eyes widen as he asks with his voice softer now, as if he's not entirely sure he heard you right. He shifts the matcha latte in his hand, trying to ignore the way his heart just did a little flip at your words.

You're mentally kicking yourself for blurting that out loud, what is going on with you? You swallow hard, feeling trapped in the moment. 

"I mean...yeah," you admit, your voice even quieter now, feeling the gaze of his eyes on you, as you fiddle with the strap of your bag. 

"You get really into the stuff you care about, and it's kind of cute. In, like, a wholesome way," you quickly add, feeling even more heat suddenly rush to your face, "it's just...you know...cute." 

You trail off as you realize you said cute twice but Jake's smile just widens even more at that, and suddenly the mountain of things he's carrying feels a teensy bit lighter. 

"So you think it's cute, huh?" 

Jake feels a newfound confidence, noticing how you're not your typical outspoken self, in fact, you almost look nervous around him. This is his delusion speaking right? Have you always been paying attention to him this way and he's been too blindsided to see it? Regardless, for whatever reason—delusion or not—in this moment, Jake feels a little more out of his comfort zone in front of you. 

"I didn't say that! I said wholesome!" Your eyes dart up to meet his as you protest, but the flustered look on your face betrays you and Jake thinks he could definitely soar to the moon right now.

Jake, still smiling, shifts his weight, and without thinking, takes a small step closer. 

"You totally did," his eyes peer teasingly at you and he doesn't know how he's still breathing, let alone talking, with you looking up at him, like that. "Guess I’ll have to keep talking about stuff I care about, then."

You try to muster something witty back, but the way he’s looking at you—and the way he’s talking to you—is making it so incredibly hard to focus on anything but the fluttering in your chest. 

"Yeah I guess you do," you smile back at him, noticing the lack of space between you two all of the sudden. You've never seen this side of Jake, and you can't help but enjoy it...the banter, the flirty glances, the way he makes you feel—

You clear your throat, snapping yourself back into reality, "So..what is with the project poster and…dry-cleaning?" Your eyes go back to everything he's juggling to avoid further eye contact, grateful for the distraction to give you a chance to catch your breath and regain your composure.

"Oh, this? You know, just doing my daily round of favors for Grace, Heeseung, and the rest of the world apparently," Jake chuckles, more so to himself, at how ridiculous of a situation he really did get himself in. 

You smile, your heart warming at the thought. Jake's always been this way—kind, thoughtful, always helping the people he cares about. Well…in reality, he technically is doing this for someone he cares about…you. 

"Damn, guess I should ask for the same treatment then, huh?" You tilt your head, lips quirking into a grin, eyes lit up.

Typically, that look on your face would have Jake in absolute shambles and he'd probably want to curl up into a turtle shell for life. But whatever cosmic forces out there that orchestrated this recent shift between you two had given him a much-needed confidence boost.

"I mean, I'd totally do that for you, if that's what you're asking," he leans in with another playful smirk on his face, "anytime."  

Your breath catches, the butterflies in your stomach fighting to escape. 

"Oh? Even if it means running across campus with an iced latte in one hand and my dirty laundry in the other?"  

“For you? Yeah. No problem.” 

For a second, you don’t respond, just watching him with a curious, unreadable expression that always drives him crazy. Now, Jake feels like he might actually pass out from how intensely you’re looking at him. 

Finally, you smile. “I'll hold you to that, Jakey.” 

Jake freezes. It's like you know exactly what that name does to him. 

You giggle, clearly amused at the way he stumbles over a reaction and quickly add, "Anyway, I'll leave you to it! Grace is gonna kill you for bringing over a watered-down matcha. But I'll see you later tonight for movie night, right?"  

Jake suddenly remembers the long-awaited (it was planned one day ago) movie night the group set for tonight, and he gets excited at the idea of seeing you again in just a few hours. 

"Definitely, I'll save you a seat?" 

"Mmm," you nod as you start walking away slowly, still facing him, basking in the way he's watching you. "See you later, Jakey!" 

You finally turn and stroll away, thankful your back is to him now so he can't see how your smile is growing wider than you thought was possible.  

On the other hand, Jake blinks, eyes on you as you walk away, still trying to process what just happened. Confidence or not, you always have the last word. But that doesn’t matter. 

One thing is for sure—Jake Simp is in full throttle, and he’d happily run across campus a hundred times, coffee and laundry in hand, if it means hearing you say his name like that again. 

Not that Jake’s been counting down the hours until movie night or anything—no, definitely not—but it’s been approximately five hours since he ran into you, and—if he’s being honest—about four and a half of those hours were spent thinking about how he’ll be seeing you again. The other 30 minutes? Well, they were spent explaining to Grace why her matcha was delivered watered down, which was a scolding he’d rather forget about. 

Needless to say, he's even more excited than usual to see you tonight, for no particular reason. But after your last interaction, Jake feels closer to you than ever before. There’s a tiny flicker of hope, but he keeps reminding himself not to get ahead of himself. After all, he’s only recently mastered the art of saying more than one sentence to you without hyperventilating. Baby steps. 

Jake’s eyes scan the coffee table of the living room, mentally checking off all the important snacks (important as in your favorite ones, of course).  

"What vibe are we going for tonight?" Heeseung calls out from the couch, as he flips through the Netflix homepage on their TV. "Horror or coming-of-age rom-com?" 

Jake grimaces, "Please, no horror. I’m still having nightmares from the last movie night." He shudders at the memory. 

"Dude," Jay strolls into the room, chuckling, "Coraline is a kids movie!" 

"A scary kids movie! That thing should be rated at least PG-13!" Jake protests, while still scanning the room to ensure everything’s perfectly set up. Snacks, check. Drinks, check. Your favorite blanket neatly folded on the seat he’s reserved for you? Check. 

As if right on cue, a knock sounds at the door, and Jay casually starts, "I got it!"—but because Jake's Spidey senses (aka Y/N-senses) are sure it's you at the door, he's already sprinting and launches to the door, parkour style, slightly nudging Jay out the way and making it to the door before him—all in a second's time. 

"It’s okay! I got it!" Jake blurts, a bit too breathlessly, leaving Jay with a mixed look of disbelief that quickly morphs into amused pity. 

"Oookayyy," Jay drawls, turning to Heeseung with a knowing look, clearly entertained by their roommate. "He’s officially lost it." 

Jake takes a breath and quickly runs a hand through his hair in an attempt to not look disheveled, before pulling open the door. 

"Y/N. Hi." 

"Jake. Hi," you smile up at him, dressed in what you would call your 'comfy movie night outfit'—but what Jake would call Met Gala worthy. He's pretty sure you could wear a paper bag and it'd be Met Gala worthy. 

For a split second, Jake’s brain malfunctions as he stalls at the door. The moment he’s been daydreaming about in his head for the last five hours is happening, but now that it’s here, he has zero idea what to do. Think, Jake, think! 

"Congrats, you’re the first one here!" he blurts, mentally face-palming as soon as the words leave his mouth. 

You giggle as you step inside, "Well, that would make sense, since you guys live here, and Grace is always late to everything. But thanks, Jakey, I’ll take it." 

You turn to grin at the boy once more, and he's officially a goner. RIP.  

"Oh—right," Jake stifles a sheepish grin as he rubs the back of his neck, shooting Jay and Heeseung a death glare as they're both silently roasting him with their eyes.  

"Hi boys," you greet the others as you step into the living room, eyes immediately going to the table lined with snacks. "Wow, you guys really went all out!" 

"Hiii Y/N," Heeseung and Jay say in perfect unison. You give them a raised brow, but shrug it off, too used to their weird behavior to question it. 

"Sooo, which seat is mine?" You excitedly turn back to Jake, scanning the available spots.  

"That one! Best seat in the house, guaranteed,” Jake practically beams, heart pitter-pattering as he's pointing to the cushion right next to his favorite spot. 

"Oh really? What makes it the best?" you ask, plopping down and curling up instantly into the cushion, which makes Jake wonder how much more his heart can truly take before it spontaneously implodes on itself. 

“It comes with your favorite blanket and easy access to the snacks. All your favorites, by the way," Jake slides into the seat beside you, keeping his voice cool.  

He’s very proud of himself for that one. After all, he did scour three different stores near campus for watermelon Sour Patch and strawberry Pocky. 

Jay butts in, grinning like the devil himself, "And the fact that you’re sitting next to Jake makes it extra special, right, Jakey?"

"Oh? Is that so?" You tilt your head, feigning innocence, although you've always known that the middle seat cushion has always been Jake's sacred seat on movie nights. 

"He’s...joking. I can sit anywhere! I just, uh... think this seat happens to have the best angle of the TV." Jake’s heart is definitely about to combust. 

Smooth, Jake. Real smooth. 

You smile and place a hand on Jake’s knee, patting it lightly, "I trust you, Jake. I’m already enjoying this seat more than you know." 

Jake swallows thickly, his body going rigid under your warm hand briefly against his skin. He thinks if he tries to say anything else, it'll come out sounding like a goose giving birth to fifty eggs. 

From Jake’s other side, Heeseung chimes in, obliviously saving his hopeless roommate, "So, Y/N—horror or rom-com tonight?"

"Horror!" you gasp excitedly, eyes widening immediately, "I need those jump scares to make me feel something, you know?" 

Jay breaks out in a coughing fit, nearly choking on his sudden laughter, while Jake shoots him yet another death glare.  

“Y/N, I completely agree with you! Any objections anyone?” Jay announces almost animatedly, leaving you slightly confused but, once again, unfazed by your friend’s weirdness. 

"Nope, none from me. Jake?" Heeseung raises a brow, also trying not to laugh himself. 

Jake looks at you, seeing how excited you are, and yep—he’s screwed. More nightmares for him, it seems. 

"Nope! I’m...totally down for horror." 

You lightly clap your hands in excitement, making Jake realize that, yeah, the nightmares are probably worth it if it means seeing you this happy. 

As you reach over for a snack, Jay mouths the word "SIMP" at Jake. Jake responds with an eye roll, but yeah, Jay’s not wrong. 

✭・.・✫

The movie is only 20 minutes in when you frown looking at the coffee table, “How is it possible we’re out of snacks already?”  

“I blame Grace for showing up late. I got hungry, okay?” Jay says, pointing at her. Grace responds by smacking the back of his head. “Ouch.” 

Heeseung pauses the movie. “Vending machine run, anyone?” 

“Jake and Y/N, go! Perfect candidates,” Jay suggests without skipping a beat, rubbing the back of his head from the provoked attack.  

You raise an eyebrow at Jake, feeling your heart race a little faster. You're trying to play it cool but the thought of having a moment alone with him sends a buzz through you. It's the kind of opportunity you didn't realize you were hoping for—wait, were you? You have no idea. But what you do know is that being around Jake has felt different lately, in a good way. There's something about his presence that makes you want to be near him more and more. It's confusing, whatever this is, but all you can admit to yourself right now is, feelings or not, you want this time with him.  

Jake opens his mouth to respond, but doesn’t manage to get anything out before you quickly grab his hand and pull him toward the door. 

“Okay! Be back in a few!” you call back to the group, trying to sound casual. 

Inside, you’re freaking out just a little. Or a lot. Definitely a lot. The feeling of his hand in yours is warm, almost comforting, but there’s...something that you swear is there. It just feels right.  

Jake follows behind you down the hall, and you can feel the warmth of his hand lingering even as you let go. You sneak a glance at him, and for some reason, he just seems... different. You've always found Jake cute. That's not news. But this—this is different, this isn't your typical ‘oh he's cute’ feeling...but you can't pinpoint what it is either. You shake the thought off.  

"Soo…" you start, looking up at him from the corner of your eye. Your heart pounds a little louder, and you hope he can’t hear it over the sound of your sneakers hitting the hallway tiles. He’s just so cute standing there, slightly awkward, but making it work. How can someone look this adorable just existing? 

“Sorry for dragging you out like that. I hope you don't mind,” you finally say as you both step into the elevator. You try to sound casual, but the slight bubble in your throat betrays you.  

“Oh—no, not at all. I totally wanted to...go with you...” Jake says, and then he quickly adds, “I mean, you're practically saving me from all the jump scares.” 

You laugh softly after a beat of silence, raising an eyebrow as the elevator doors open. “I thought you said you didn’t mind horror movies?” 

“Well,” Jake hesitates, but then says quietly, “how could I say no when you were that excited to watch one?” 

You blink, feeling your breath catch for a second. Did he just—? You look up at him, searching his expression, but all you see is that sweet smile of his, and your mind goes a little fuzzy, trying to piece together what that meant. 

You roll the thought around for a second before giving him a playful nudge. 

“Wow, who knew Jake Sim was such a people pleaser?” You’re teasing, but there’s an unfamiliar giddiness in your chest when he simply grins at you in response.  

As you step into the vending machine room, a soft hum fills the space. You glance at Jake again—he's studying the snack options with a small, focused frown, and you can’t help but smile. Why is everything he does so...frustratedly cute? 

Eventually, he sighs, giving up on his snack mission, and leans casually against the machine. Meanwhile, you're slightly bent down, continuing to mentally analyze the shelves, but you're hyper-aware of the fact that his eyes are definitely on you. And because you can feel the heat from his gaze, you swear you're turning ten shades redder by the second.  

“Are you gonna help me pick out snacks, or are you just gonna keep staring at me like that?” you ask, trying to sound casual, even though your brain's in overdrive. Your eyes stay glued to the snack shelves, anything to avoid the tension of locking eyes with him right now. 

“Hmmm,” you can hear the teasing smirk in his voice, and it sends a spark through you. “Nah, you can handle the snacks. I’m perfectly okay where I am.” 

You roll your eyes playfully, but your pulse quickens. Punching in the numbers for a random snack, you slide a dollar into the machine, stalling a little before you finally stand up and look up at him. “Oh, are you?” 

You don’t expect him to be this close when you're fully standing up. The space between you shrinks, and suddenly, you can almost feel his breath on your skin. Your pulse thumps loudly in your ears as you try your best to swallow the lump in your throat.  

“Still perfectly okay?” The words come out softer than you intended, almost a whisper. You’re holding his gaze now, neither of you wanting to break it. You swear you could probably hear a pin drop if it wasn't for your loud heartbeat right now.  

Jake swallows, and for a split second, you see him hesitate. His eyes flicker down to your lips, and that simple, unintentional move makes your breath hitch. You could lean in right now—close the gap between you—and you wonder if he’s thinking the same thing. Maybe you're hoping he's thinking the same thing. 

But then Jake chuckles, breaking the silence with his soft laugh that makes your stomach flip for maybe the hundredth time tonight. 

“I, uh… yeah, I’m still okay,” he says, though his voice exposes just how not okay he actually is. You see the faintest blush creeping up his neck, and it’s endearing—so much so that you almost forget you were nervous too.  

You swear you can sense him shuffle just a little bit closer and you're subconsciously wanting to lean into the feeling... 

Plop! 

The sound of the bag of chips landing at the bottom of the machine breaks whatever moment you thought was forming between you two.  

You blink. Jake blinks. 

For a split second, the two of you just stare at each other, wide-eyed, before Jake is the first to snap out of it. His hand quickly goes to rake through his hair, his eyes darting anywhere but yours, and the flush on his cheeks is unmistakable. It almost matches the heat you feel creeping up your own face. 

You can’t tell if you’re more relieved or disappointed that the moment broke so abruptly. You can't tell anything at this point, if you're being honest.  

“Uh—um,” you clear your throat, reaching for the snack like it’s the most important thing in the world. “I hope you like sour cream and onion chips!” 

You hold up the bag with a nervous laugh, trying to shake off the tension in the air. Jake just gives you this soft, searching smile, like he's trying to figure out what just happened—or maybe he's wondering if you felt it too. 

The way his eyes are so gentle, so open, makes your stomach flutter, and because you think you might actually crumble if he keeps looking at you like that for a second longer, you break eye contact to immediately turn back to the vending machine, hoping the heat in your face isn’t as obvious as it feels. 

“What other snacks do you think they’d like?” you hum, trying to sound casual, but inside you’re mentally screaming at yourself for not just going for it earlier. Great going, Y/N. 

From the corner of your eye, you catch Jake letting out a small exhale before he chuckles softly. 

“Honestly, as long as it has sugar, I think everyone will be happy,” he says, and you instantly feel yourself relax, his lightheartedness simmering the tension a bit.

"Hmmm... sour cream and onion and sugar. Got it," you punch in a few more random numbers into the machine, feeding it your remaining cash. "Looks like we’ve hit all the major food groups for today. Nutritionists everywhere will be so proud." 

The air between you both feels a lot lighter now, but there’s still a lingering warmth under your skin—a little too flustered to fully shake it off. You wonder if Jake is feeling the same, but if he is, he seems to be handling it way better than you are. Of course he would be. Cool, calm, collected Jake. (Also ironic, isn't it?)  

"Honestly, we should just unplug the machine and rob the whole thing," Jake playfully adds as you grab the last snack from the bottom slot. "You already know Jay’s gonna inhale all of these the second we walk back in." 

"You’re so right. I say next time, Operation 'Y/N and Jake versus the vending machine' needs to happen,” you laugh, feeling a little more like yourself again. 

"Oh, so what I'm hearing is there’s gonna be a next time?" Jake raises an eyebrow as the two of you start heading back to the elevator. "Count me in." 

You instinctively roll your eyes at how annoyingly smooth he was being, but you can't help the giddy smile growing on your face as a result of his words. As you two stand side by side to each other in the elevator, there's a new quiet that's settled and it's...nice. It's not awkward, just...heavier than before. As if there's a shared secret between you—something you both know but aren't ready to speak aloud just yet. But it's there—just for the two of you to mutually share in comfortable silence.  

Before you reach the apartment, you feel a light tug on your sleeve, and you stop. Looking up, you see Jake holding onto the corner of your sleeve, his expression...soft. Like, too soft. And for a moment, you swear time just stops. If he was on a mission to officially kill you, he can officially say mission accomplished.  

"Y/N, I—" he hesitates, his voice quieter again, like he's about to say something serious, and your heart picks up speed again. But then he stops himself, his grip loosening.  

You blink up at him, wanting him to continue so bad, but also unsure if you're ready of what might come next. 

"Mmm?" you hum, almost afraid to say anything louder. 

Jake bites the inside of his cheek, looking like he’s at war with himself. He finally lets go of your sleeve and gives you a small smile. 

"Sorry, it’s...nothing. Just... you look really nice tonight." 

The sudden, sincere comment catches you off guard, and you feel that familiar warmth rush to your face once again.  

"Oh," you manage to squeak out, because apparently, that's all you're capable of in the moment as your heart is spiraling. "Thanks, Jakey."  

You smile and look down at where his hand just was on your sleeve, and you almost want to reach out and grab his hand again, just to see if it'll feel as warm as it did earlier. Why do you want to reach out so bad?  

Jake's eyes flicker to yours, and for a split second, you swear there's a flicker of something in his eyes—something vulnerable—but then, just as quickly, his gaze shifts to the apartment door behind you, and he clears his throat.  

"Yeah," he says almost breathlessly. "Sorry, we should...probably go in. They probably think we got lost or something at this point."  

You finally let out a breath and snap yourself back in reality from staring at him. 

"Right, yeah. Wouldn’t want them sending a search party," you joke, though your brain’s still fuzzy from the million thoughts and feelings swirling around. 

As Jake unlocks the door, you can’t help but wonder if whatever just happened between you two was all in your head. But it can’t be, right? That feeling had to be real... Right? 

You step inside, and your friends’ commentary barely registers. It’s all background noise compared to the whirlpool of emotions screaming inside you. You sit back down on the couch, and so does Jake, in his seat next to yours.  

And while the movie plays for the rest of the night, you can't seem to focus on anything but the memory of everything that's happened tonight. That and the feeling of Jake’s arm resting right up against yours.  

You’re doomed. 

Jake has never been more confused in his entire life, like, ever. The past few days for him have been more confusing than that one semester he took Postmodern Interpretations of the Emoji Language and actually had to write a ten-page paper on the laughing emoji (don't judge, he had to fulfill his last two elective credits somehow).  

Life has been an absolute whirlwind for Jake—mainly due to the fact that his emotions have been spinning out of control. And to top it off, today’s the long-awaited rematch day.  

Normally, Jake would be a complete wreck by now, bouncing his leg under the table or fidgeting with his phone, but today? Today, he's nervous in a completely different way. The kind of nerves you get when you already know what's about to happen… but after everything that’s gone down lately, he thinks there’s something more between the two of you. And it has nothing to do with Heeseung’s so-called love algorithm. 

At least, he hopes there’s something between you two. Unless—oh god—he’s been totally delusional this whole time, and you’ve just been nice, and Jake’s fully lost it. Perfect, that’s exactly what he needs right now, on top of everything else. But the scariest part? In just a few moments, when the app refreshes and pairs you two together, Jake's going to have to face whatever's been simmering between you both—whether he's ready for it or not.  

And as if Heeseung could read his trembling thoughts, he breaks the silence at the lunch table, "Are you guys ready?"  

Grace and Jay's heads are nodding so fast for Heeseung to just push the 'send' button already, Jake thinks they look like bobbleheads. But when he glances over at you, you don't seem nearly as eager. Which is...weird. Considering how only a couple days ago, you were fired up about the rematch. But now? You look almost...conflicted?  

Jake's eyes linger on you for a second longer, taking in the way you're biting your lip, clearly deep in your thoughts. He can't help but find the sight of you zoned out like that so ridiculously adorable.  

"Y/N?" He nudges you gently. "You good?"  

"Huh?" You blink, snapping out of your daydream. "Oh, yeah. Sorry, Just...thinking, I guess."  

"You'll be fine, Y/N!" Grace chimes in, ever the optimist. "I bet you're gonna love whoever your match is!"  

Well, gee, Jake really, really, hopes so. If not, the last few days will have been a very confusing rollercoaster of emotional whiplash. 

"Right," Jake agrees, trying to act normal, though his voice sounds a little too tight. "Everything's going to be fine." Please, please let everything be fine.  

Jake can tell you're hesitant about something—you open your mouth like you want to say something, but then just as quickly, you press your lips closed again. If Jake didn't think you were the most precious being in the world, you could say you look like a fish out of water right now.

"Hypothetically speaking," you slowly speak up, eyes flicking up to your friends. "What would you do if...let's say you started catching feelings for someone...but then the app might pair you with someone else?" You pause, swallowing hard. 

"Hypothetically…of course.”

Grace raises an eyebrow. Heeseung freezes mid-bite. And Jake? Well, let's just say his heart is already running a mile into the marathon. Hypothetical? Feelings? That has to be about him, right? What were the chances?  

Jay lets out a snort. "Lucky for you, in a hypothetical situation, you do absolutely nothing. Cause it's...you know, hypothetical."  

"Yeah, you're right. Forget I said anything." You wave your hand, brushing it off, but Jake notices a blush growing across your face. "Okay, Hee! Let's get this over with."  

Jake's mind is spinning. What could you have possibly meant by that? That had to be about him...right? Because that is all he's ever wanted, all he's been pining for. But at the same time...it's too good to be true, so Jake refuses to believe it. He can't get his hopes up—not yet.

"Okayyyy," Heeseung's still lifting an eyebrow at your odd behavior before he clears his throat, “everyone ready?”  

Jay and Grace drum the table in anticipation, and Jake? Jake's pretty sure he's going to throw up. 

Heeseung taps his screen, and the table collectively holds its breath. Then, all at once, everyone’s phones light up. 

Grace and Jay scramble to grab their phones first and Jake thinks he's actually developing an incurable case of heart failure.  

“WHAT?” Grace shrieks before she whips around to Jay with wide eyes. “I got you, AGAIN!”  

Jay, unbothered, raises his hands defensively, “What can I say? It’s science, Gracey-poo.”  

"Sure. Science," Grace rolls her eyes so hard it's a wonder they don't get stuck. "Like how you scientifically forgot how to text me back after last night's study sesh?"  

Before Grace can verbally throttle Jay, Jake's entire focus narrows in on you, and how your phone is still face down on the table. You haven't even touched it.

The suspense is killing him, especially knowing his name is going to be on your screen. And if it's not? Well, then the end. End of fanfic. Cue the end credits.  

You, on the other hand, are staring intently at the Grace v. Jay debacle, as if focusing hard enough on other people's life issues will prevent the existential crisis you're about to have. Honestly, your phone could've exploded into a million pieces next to you and you'd still be pretending to care more about anything else.  

Because honestly? You couldn't care less about whoever Heeseung's magical powers paired you with—you're more focused on whatever's been going on between you and Jake. Or at least, you hope, there’s something happening between you and Jake. Unless, oh god, he's just being nice, and you've fully lost it. Please, please don't tell me I've lost it.  

"Y/N! Jake! Who did you guys get?" Grace turns towards the two of you, breaking the both of you out of your respective spirals. 

"Right, yeah. Um—okay. Let's see,” you let out a shaky laugh as your hands fidget in your lap before they finally reach for your phone, as Jake does the same next to you.  

You take a breath, click on the daunting email notification on your screen, and finally look down.  

You blink down at your phone. You squeeze your eyes to make sure they’re not deceiving you.  

Match: Sim Jae-yun  

Your brain is absolutely jumbled beyond saving, you seem to have forgotten how to breathe, and your stomach feels like it was just turned inside out. You don’t know what’s happening, is this what dying feels like?

You blink once. Twice. And maybe a third time just to make extra, extra sure.  

Suddenly, the whole room seems to slow down, like you're watching a replay of your life recently at 0.5 speed. All the moments between you and Jake flash by: the vending machine run, the shared glances, the oddly adorable way he got flustered over you calling him 'Jakey.' But you don't have time to fully process everything because the fact is:  

You’ve just been matched with Jake. Jake.  

You finally look up, heart racing, and try to see if Jake's opened his notification yet, but his face is still too normal at whatever he's looking at on his phone. Or, more accurately, he's pretending to be normal, because the tips of his ears are a little too red for someone who's ‘chill’ (he's most definitely not chill, right now).  

"So, uh..." Jake's voice finally comes out quiet, his gaze slowly meeting yours, and it makes you feel like you two are the only ones at this table. Scratch that, in this world. "Did you open yours?"

"Yeah,” you nod, trying to act nonchalant, “I did.”

Jake lets out a soft chuckle, the faintest smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 

"Same here."

The way he says it—soft, like he’s addressing the shared secret between the two of you—makes the air feel warmer. Or maybe it’s just you overheating. Get it together, Y/N.

Grace, across the table, catches the tension happening in front of her, her eyes darting back and forth like she's watching a slow motion scene of a k-drama unfold in real time. Then—

“Oh my god,” she gasps loudly, before violently clapping a hand over her mouth. 

Her eyes fill with excitement and just as quickly, she jumps up, grabbing both Jay and Heeseung by the back of their shirts and yanking them to their feet. 

“We’re getting boba! Be right back!”  

Heeseung’s brows scrunch. “Wait, what? I don’t even wan—“  

“Too bad! We’re going.”  

And just like that, you’re left alone with Jake next to you—and his flaming red ears that could probably power a small country. 

“So…” Jake clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he finally turns to look at you.  

“So..,” you softly say, your fingers tapping nervously on the edge of the table, hoping he'll say something, anything. 

"So," Jake repeats for the third time, followed by an awkward chuckle. “Uh...what do we...do now?”  

You blink.

“Do now?”  

Jake’s eyes dart to yours, and for a second, you think he’s about to up and bolt from the table. 

“I mean, like, uh...we’re…well, I don’t know, is there something to do now..? Or not do? That’s okay too! I have no idea. I’m just—wow. Sorry.”  

You smile endearingly at him before breaking out into laughter as your heart does a little Olympics routine. How were you this oblivious before?  

“Jake,” you say between laughs, catching your breath as you instantly feel eased by him. "It's okay. I've been thinking...I—" 

You mentally high-five yourself and give yourself a pep talk for what you're about to say. Please, for the love of all things holy, don't let me be wrong about this.

"I can't stop thinking about you," you say, voice quiet, but steady. "It's like you've taken over my brain, Jake, and it's driving me crazy. And I don't know—I don't know if it's just me or if everything I've been sensing between us is real, but I think my brain might explode if I didn't tell you. Plus, I was terrified the Matchmatic would pair you with someone else and I had lost my chance."  

You finally feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders, but when you look at Jake? He's gone. Eyes wide, looking like a malfunctioning robot. His mouth opens and closes, and you're 110% sure he's about to glitch out of existence right in front of you.  

"Wow."  

You blink. Wow? That's it? Is this a good wow or a wow-she's-crazy wow? Naturally, you think it’s the latter, so you mentally prepare yourself to fake your death and move to Norway.  

But before you're about to flee the scene and start your new life as a mountain goat herder, Jake's eyes lock on yours, filled with the softest, most fond expression you've ever seen.  

"Y/N, I like you. A lot. And I have for, like...forever, I think." His voice is quiet, but his shoulders are more relaxed the more he looks at you. "I didn't think you'd feel the same way. You know, because we're friends and all." 

Your smile grows impossibly wide as you nudge his shoulder playfully with yours. 

"Well, surprise surprise, you're wrong."  

Jake chuckles, now fully facing you, his face flushed from wearing his heart on his sleeve. But for you? He thinks he’s about to stand on this lunch table and scream his feelings into a megaphone. 

"So...maybe we could try out this 'more-than-friends' thing?" you suggest, finding it hard to form a coherent sentence without sounding like a fifth grader. But Jake? Jake thinks seeing you stumbling your words over talking to him, for once, is the cutest sight ever. "I mean, unless you don't want—"  

"Oh, I definitely want to!" Jake practically launches himself forward, his smile so big you wish you could keep a mental image of it forever.

You laugh, suddenly feeling lighter. "Okay, then. Let's do it."  

"Here's to doing it!" Jake echoes, his voice warm and soft as he moves closer to you, finding it hard to resist just simply being in your close presence. Then, his eyes widen and he clears his throat, "I mean, not like do it, do it—wait, but not saying that I wouldn't—oh god—"  

Your giggles are uncontrollable once again as you watch Jake's face turn into the deepest shade of red you've ever seen. Without even thinking, you reach for his hand, seeking stability, as if he's a magnet drawing you in and you can't resist the pull of his warmth.

You finally take a breath, calming yourself down as Jake's eyes flicker down to your intertwined fingers, and his smile softens into something that makes your heart so full.  

For a moment, neither of you say anything, just letting the weight of everything finally settle, your hand resting under his in between you two. Then, Jake's thumb brushes softly over your knuckles, and he looks up at you with that newfound confidence that somehow makes him even more irresistible.  

“So…now what?” Jake's corners of his mouth twitch into a smile as he subconsciously leans in closer than before, and this time, you know there's no way you're backing out. 

A playful smile tugs at your lips as your eyes flicker between his soft brown eyes and his mouth. 

“Well, I mean…you still owe me from the vending machine.”  

Jake freezes. He blinks in confusion, and you're pretty sure you can hear the whirrr of his brain rebooting right in front of you.  

“Oh, you mean for the snacks? How much do I owe you? I can Venmo you, or, uh, buy you more snacks?” he stammers, completely caught off guard by your random comment, especially when he thought this was the moment. But, you know...priorities, I guess?  

Now you freeze, blinking at him before you let out a giggle that surprises even you. Seriously? You reach out and gently cup his adorably confused face.  

"Jake, you lovable dork," you say, shaking your head, unable to stop the giggles bubbling up. "Not what I meant."  

Jake doesn't even get the chance to respond (and honestly, he doesn't know if he could even form words right now, not with you so close, holding his face so gently). Before either of you even know it, you lean up and close the gap, your lips softly pressing against his.  

Jake freezes for a heartbeat. Or maybe two. He's unsure if he's even still breathing (is oxygen even necessary at a time like this?). But then, instinctively, his hands find their way to your waist, and he's gently pulling you closer on the table bench, as if he's afraid to let you slip away. He's pretty sure the world hit pause, and all that existed was the softness of your touch, the sweet warmth of your lips, and the faint vanilla scent of your shampoo that's doing a great job at scrambling his brain right now.  

He tries to stay cool—he really does—but his lips curve into a smile against yours, and he can't help but think, well, this is it. This is peak life. I've peaked. This? This just knocked anything else right off the leaderboard of his best life moments. 

It’s short. It’s sweet. It’s everything you didn’t know you needed and everything Jake’s been dreaming about.

He's savoring every little moment, every little movement guided by you, feeling like he's on cloud infinity, before you pull away, a soft pink blush growing on your entire face.

You lean your head back slightly to look at him, the warmth of the moment still lingering between you. Jake’s eyes are wide, his cheeks flushed, but there’s a soft, almost dazed smile playing on his lips, like he’s still processing.

"W-wow," he stammers, his voice barely above a whisper as he's trying to process if he's actually alive or in a sugar-induced dream. 

"Yeah," you breathe out, smiling as you gently run your thumb across his cheek, enjoying the way his face heats up even more under your touch. 

"So...," you say playfully after a beat of silence, leaning in so close that you're sure you’d be kissing him all over again if it wasn’t for your self-control, "do I still get my snacks?"

Jake laughs, officially breaking the heavy tension. He drops his head on your shoulder, completely and utterly overwhelmed by the pure sensation of you, but in the best way possible.  

"You can have all the snacks you want," he mumbles into your shoulder, his voice muffled but filled with so much affection that you think you might actually burst with joy. "Take my whole bank account while you're at it. Take whatever you want."  

You can't help but laugh as you wrap your arms around his neck, tugging him even closer to you. 

"You're ridiculous, Sim Jae-yun." 

"I know," he admits, voice still muffled into your shoulder. "But I'm your ridiculous, algorithm-proven match, right?"  

Jake feels your laughter from under him. "Mmmhmm, Jakey. 100% mine. Algorithm or not."  

You feel his smile grow against your shoulder as your arms squeeze him tighter. The perfect moment settles and you think you could die happy right now. For the first time in days, everything feels right.

But then, Jake pulls back just slightly, still under your hold, his eyebrows furrowing like he's about to say something very important.  

"Wait—" he raises his eyebrows at you.

 "—does this mean you never saw me as a Roomba?"  

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

epilogue: 

“If your next words are that you’re Spider-Man,” you say, your head nestled in Jake’s lap as you absentmindedly watch the TV, “then congratulations, you’re officially the world’s coolest boyfriend ever.”

Jake lets out a soft laugh, his fingers gently playing with the ends of your hair. It’s movie night—a rare, private one this time, much to your friends' annoyance. No horror films tonight (thank god, because Jake still hasn’t fully recovered from the last one), but honestly, the movie has long been forgotten. The moment Jake blurted out that he had something ‘dire’ to tell you, all plotlines flew out the window. 

You told him, unless it's about a sudden worldwide ramen shortage or that he's secretly a bug-themed superhero, then it could definitely wait until after the movie. 

But Jake had shook his head, claiming no, it’s like…life-changing important. 

Which is why you’re here now, his lap a perfect pillow, waiting for him to speak. He looks down at you, and you finally catch the serious gleam in his eyes. Oh wait, he’s actually being serious. 

“No, unfortunately, I don’t have Spidey senses,” he laughs nervously, gently nudging you up until you’re sitting face to face on the couch. “I do think I’ve developed Y/N senses, though.” 

“Oh? What are your Y/N senses telling you now?” you raise an eyebrow, smirking. 

“Um… that you hopefully won’t be mad at me?” Jake’s voice wavers slightly, hands fiddling with yours, and your playful smile fades just a little, confusion and worry taking over your face. 

“Oh. Okay. What’s up?” You straighten up, fully turning toward him, sitting crisscrossed.

Jake hesitates, looking down at your intertwined fingers, and takes a deep breath.

“Well, remember the Matchmatic thingy from a few months ago?” 

“Mmhm,” you hum, studying his expression. 

“So… um…I may or may not have done something…to make sure you got matched with me,” Jake’s eyes immediately squeeze shut, bracing for impact, like he’s expecting an explosion, or worse, your wrath. 

There’s a beat of silence. And then— 

You burst into laughter. Full-on, head-thrown-back, shoulders-shaking laughter. You drop your head back into Jake’s lap, your cackles muffled by his hoodie, while Jake sits frozen, staring at you like you’ve grown two heads. 

“I—uh… I’m confused?” He stares down at you, unsure if you’re about to pull a full-on Joker moment. 

“Jakey,” you coo, your laughter softening into giggles as you sit back up and cradle his cheeks. “You are so adorable. You really thought I didn’t know?” 

Jake blinks. 

“Wait, what?” 

“I knew.” You grin, watching as his brain seems to stall for a second. 

“…You knew?” 

You nod, leaning back on your hands. 

“Yeah, I knew. I mean, I kind of just put two and two together after we started dating. And Hee? He's a genius, no way he messed up the first way around,” you roll your eyes playfully. 

“But the thing is, Jake… the algorithm didn’t make me like you. I already did.” You reach forward and tap his forehead lightly, preciously smiling at how utterly stunned he looks. 

“You—wait, what?” Jake’s mind is catching up at the speed of 3G internet. 

“Yeah,” you laugh again, softer this time.  

He’s still staring at you, wide-eyed, like you just casually told him you're moving to the moon tomorrow. Honestly, he looks like his entire world just got flipped upside down, but in the best way possible, of course.  

“So…you’re not mad?” 

"Nope."  

"And you still wanna be with me?"  

"Yup."  

"And you're not just saying that because I buy you all the snacks you want?"  

"Nope."  

"Oh thank god," Jake exhales dramatically, hand flying to his chest like he barely survived a life-threatening situation. He looks at you with the softest, dopiest smile that makes you feel like you're staring at a puppy in a rom-com. "Because you are, hands down, the most perfect person for me. Like, ever."  

"You are so cute, Jakey," you scrunch your nose at him before leaning up to plant a quick kiss on his blushing cheek, which only makes his ears turn an even deeper shade of red.  

But before you can pull away, he's already frowning playfully.  

"Wait, wait—one more question." 

"Mhm?" 

"Cute as in 'kiss' cute or 'puppy' cute?"

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

the end! i hope you guys liked it ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

m.list here!

tagged: @climbingmandevillas @byeoltual @junhuiste-ficrec

cue all the tags now...

[misswynters]

Perfume

featuring. au! claggor x reader

requested by anon

Claggor was never shy about his affection towards you, even when surrounded by the crew. You were used to his small gestures of love, a hand resting on the small of your back, a quick kiss pressed to your temple, or his arm draped casually over your shoulders. But today, he seemed bolder than usual, and you couldn’t help but feel the heat creep up your neck as his hand reached for yours, tugging you closer.

“Come here,” he whispered, his voice low. The others were lounging around in the hideout, deep in their conversation about their next scheme, but Claggor was entirely focused on you. Before you could process his intentions, he gently guided you to sit on his lap, his strong hands steadying you as he pulled you into place on his thigh.

You gave him a playful glare, glancing nervously at the others. “Claggor, they’re going to see.”

He shrugged, a cheeky grin tugging at his lips. “Let ‘em,” he said simply, his fingers resting lightly on your upper thigh. “I’m comfortable. You?”

Despite your hesitation, you settled into him, leaning back slightly against his chest. His free hand found its way to your hip, his thumb rubbing slow circles that sent tingles up your spine. His warmth was comforting, and you could feel the scent of grime and metal on his skin as it mingled faintly with the perfume you’d dabbed on your wrists earlier.

“Smells like you’ve been busy again,” he remarked, his breath warm against the shell of your ear.

You smiled, tilting your head slightly to give him a better view of the small glass vial tucked in the pocket of your apron. “I’ve been experimenting with lavender and citrus this time. Thought I’d make something light and fresh.”

Claggor chuckled, his voice rumbling pleasantly against your back. “Fresh, huh? Always smell good to me, sweet thing.”

His lips brushed the back of your shoulder, soft and lingering, and you felt your breath hitch. It wasn’t unusual for him to be affectionate, but something about his actions today left you flustered. His hand tightened slightly on your hip, pulling you closer against him as he buried his nose into the curve of your neck.

“This smell is driving me crazy, y'know that?” he murmured, his voice low and laced with a teasing edge.

Your cheeks flushed, and you tried to keep your voice steady despite the fluttering in your chest. “Do I? Seems like you’re the one causing all the trouble right now.”

Claggor chuckled softly, his lips brushing against your neck as he spoke. “Not my fault, you smell so damn good. I can’t help it.”

You could feel the heat rising to your face, and you playfully swatted at his hand resting on your thigh. “Claggor, they’re right there.”

“They’re not paying attention,” he said with a shrug, though his grin betrayed just how much he enjoyed riling you up. “And if they are, let ‘em be jealous.”

Despite your protests, you found yourself melting against him, comforted by his steady presence. His hand slid just slightly higher on your thigh, his fingers warm against your skin. It wasn’t scandalous, not really, but there was something about the possessive way he held you that made your heart race.

“You should bottle this,” he said suddenly, breaking the moment with a hint of amusement in his tone.

“Bottle what?” you asked, turning your head slightly to catch his gaze.

“The way you smell,” he replied, his grin softening into something sweeter. “I’d carry it around with me everywhere. Not that I’d ever need to. You’re always here.”

The sincerity in his words took you by surprise, and you felt a rush of warmth that had nothing to do with the way his hands rested on you. You turned slightly, brushing your fingers against his cheek. Claggor leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was tender. It wasn’t demanding though. Just a sweet, lingering kiss that left you breathless.

The others finally seemed to take notice, with one of them clearing their throat loudly. “Oi, lovebirds! Save it for later,” Vi teased, though the amusement in her voice was clear.

You quickly pulled away, embarrassed, but Claggor just laughed, keeping his arm firmly around your waist. “Don’t mind us,” he called back, entirely unbothered by the interruption.

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you leaned back against him. Despite the teasing and the audience, there was nowhere else you’d rather be. And as Claggor pressed another soft kiss to your shoulder, you knew he felt the same.

taglist. @writingwisterias @diffusebread @ekkosh

[birdsandbeetlesandmoths]

So. Sonic 3. That was. certainly. hoo boy *collapses to the sound of a metal pipe falling*

Spoilers and thoughts under cut (LONG POST)

Well, my pre-movie post was SO WRONG. I think most stobotnik fans were, thinking that Stone would be the one dying. I- truly wasn’t expecting it.

I’ll get back to that in a second, let me get all of my silly things out of the way/the things i was hype about/had to crush my partner and friend’s hands about while witnessing.

The antics between Gerald and Ivo were expected but oh my GOD JIM CARREY. you are a national treasure, have fun in retirement. we will miss you greatly, but this being your final movie (probably) is a great thing to culminate your absolutely stunning career.

Anyway, their dance sequence was fucking insane, and as much as I was cringing, I was grinning through it too. The fight on the Eclipse cannon was also questionable BUT HOLY FUCK NOW I GET THE PRAYING MANTIS/FLY REFERENCE. (Thank god it wasn’t directly about stone and robotnik but i’m already cooking how i can connect them). Spanking? Also in my Sonic movie. But yeah.

Gerald and Ivo could never be more alike in intellect, but different in morals. Evident through Gerald’s fixation on avenging his daughter with no remorse or thought for whoever will get in the way, throwing away Ivo and the whole of the world as a result). He’s willing to kill himself, but as Shadow says and believes, that isn’t what Maria would have wanted.

I used to not like the Wachowskis. I was already a little unsettled when the first movie released by the fact that characters unrelated to previous Sonic media were being utilized as major plot elements, but during the second and third movies, I began to absolutely love them.

This third movie cemented that love. The father-son relationship between Tom and Sonic specifically. My heart was aching in the first scene at their little campsite, Happy BEarthday, and their heart-to-heart in Sonic’s old cave, talking about Choice (an analysis incoming) and that you always have a choice, and that your lungs (heart) will help you find the right one.

I think this movie might’ve done. One of the best jobs of displaying found family. The sibling relationship between Tails, Knuckles, and Sonic was the most heartrendingly beautiful and achingly real thing I’ve seen in a while. And it really hits you, the fact that they’re kids.

And the amount of silly little jokes, Tails having his gadgetry and Knuckles with his blunt personality, Sonic tying them all together with his wit and charm, it all became slightly surreal to see. To see something so happy, so delicately real.

Oh my god, on the trio, Knuckles saving both Sonic and Tails from falling to Earth. I was gasping that whole time, truly being sent into the moment. Movies and media rarely do that to me in the emotional sense.

AND AS FOR SHADOW AND MARIA

Holy fuck at least I was right about that part in my pre-movie wishes. I thought it was interesting how they adapted it, and it definitely made for it to be slightly more believable and less complicated.

But oh my gosh them. Skating around the lab, messing around together, introducing Shadow to that great 70s music and dancing, watching movies together and just being kids!! And don’t even get me started on the rooftop scene. Shadow was so vulnerable and self-conscious, and Maria comforted him in a way that touched me. Understands him in a way that no one else ever has, as everyone else only saw him as the experiment and the subject, while she saw him as his own person, with thoughts and emotions and curiosities.

It paralleled Sonic and Tom in the cinematography too, and the sentiment was all the same. That Shadow can choose who he wants to be. (I Am All I Am and Choice. Trust, it’s coming soon)

Maria and Shadow made me unbearably happy. It was all I could’ve ever asked for and more.

Shadow and Sonic were an absolutely crazy duo this show. Dude, in their fight versus each other? Both going Super and absolutely going at it, and Shadow having the absolute gall to accuse Sonic of not caring about his friends, that he was clearly here alone because he abandoned them, and mention Tom, which caused Sonic to go completely over the edge, and actually punch him straight into space and lose his Super.

Sonic and Shadow reconciling over their shared feeling of grief, Sonic sharing his pain, emphasizing the love that will be able to help them heal, Shadow reciprocating, and then Shadow remembering Maria after looking up at the stars, realizing, from Sonic’s words, that this truly wasn’t what Maria wanted, just that whole moon scene between them is living in my head rent free and I need to see it over and over again.

HOLYYY SHIT THEY PLAYED LIVE AND LEARN WHEN SUPER SONIC AND SUPER SHADOW TEAMED UP AND BEAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK OUT OF THOSE ROBOTS. Me and my friends were going so fucking insane in that theater.

Shadow remembering Maria (possibly for the last time) as he sacrifices himself to push the Eclipse cannon away from the place that Maria loved. Remembering all of the good moments, the love between them, that is all he wanted if he was going to leave the world for good. (Well, I mean, he’s still alive, but the amnesia route is still optional)

Sonic actually going slightly insane this movie was also very interesting to watch. His absolute- like, his vision went RED when Shadow mentioned Tom. That was what set him OFFFF. His abuse of the Master Emerald and even threatening his own best friends/siblings over this— god the emphasis of choice in this film I want to sob.

Also, yall already KNOW I WAS BALLING ABOUT THE AKIRA SLIDE, SNAPCUBE REFERENCES, AND EVERY TIME SHADOW BREATHED OR MOVED. Literally could not contain myself from absolutely sob-cry-screaming at Shadow and (Keanu did a great job btw) his entire story, his joy with Maria and his pain all after. (His Super form looked fuck beautiful, a new colorful hue every time I saw it)

All in all, Robotniks were hilarious, Maria and Shadow were beautifully tragic and just generally so so SO adorable and loving. I’m so glad that Tails and Knuckles got more serious appreciation and screen time this movie as well, because as much as Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles were sidelined in this movie (to put forth Robotniks and Shadow, understandably so), it still felt more fulfilling and real than in the second movie. Super forms continue to be beautiful onscreen, I would like to collapse and die from hearing ONE OK ROCK and Live and Learn.

AHEM. Now, clearly, I will be making a separate post solely about Stobotnik. Along with the multiple Stone-centric fics burning a hole in my brain and the choice and grief analyses awaiting my attention. Bear with me as I have SO MANY THOUGHTS.

We won. . . but at what cost.

My friends, my partner, you already know. We died and were promptly revived together in that theater.

[randomgirl005]

The Secret History

Hi! I'm currently halfway through the book, and I thought I would share some reflections I've had about what I've read so far.

I find it absolutely fascinating how the story draws you in, and you unconsciously start resenting Bunny. You feel like he’s making everyone’s life impossible and that he’s half-crazy. But honestly, it’s wild because, at the end of the day, they’re all a bunch of unhinged people who’ve murdered someone—they’re literally killers! And the problem isn’t Bunny—it’s Richard, who just keeps living his life alongside them as if nothing happened, sharing his day-to-day with them without it affecting him at all. And, of course, the book is narrated by his future self, which is what gives you this initial perspective. Insanity how it all is written.

Bunny is the kind of person you could easily dislike in any other context because of his personality, his stupid jokes, and his overall vibe. But in this situation, you hate him because he’s losing it over the fact that his so-called "friends" (who end up killing him) are actual murderers.

I mean, they make him out to be this awful person, when the ones taking people's lives (just because they’re high out of their minds) are the others. And Richard narrates it all while siding with the murderers!?!? Like, the real problem is Richard. He’s the one who's messed up (honestly, it could be me).

So, here’s my reflection halfway through the book: if someone you care about, someone who’s part of your life, practically part of your daily routine, commits a murder or some other serious crime—would you be able to carry on normally with that person? Yes, they’ve committed a crime, but they’re still the same person you laugh with, talk to, and hang out with. It hasn’t directly affected your relationship or your life (beyond knowing and covering for it). So what do you do in that situation? Do you lose it like Bunny, or do you just go with the flow like Richard?

I mean, they’ve directly told you about it. You haven’t seen proof, nothing suspicious has happened, there’s been no change in their attitude, and it hasn’t altered your environment or the way you relate to them. Would the relationship stay the same? Would you really notice the difference? Or would it just remain as casual as someone telling you they bought a new car?!??

Obviously, the most logical thing would be to go to the police, but let’s ignore that part for now.

Let me know if you've got any other thoughts about it!

[just-your-average-shiz-student]

There’s probably a discussion to be had on how much Madame Morrible, respected as she may be, can effectively groom two young adults, but regardless, I am delighted by how the movie highlighted how manipulative she is from the moment Elphaba steps into Shiz.

I keep thinking back on that brief moment during What Is This Feeling when Glinda stops and Elphie is jumping from excitement (an openness of emotion she can scarcely express in front of other people) before Madame Morrible reaches out and holds her.

She actually trusted that woman, someone who saw her potential and believed in her from the get-go, who (at least outwardly) barely even took notice of her green skin. And all that newfound validation gave a boost to Elphaba’s confidence that was probably crucial for her sanity as a social pariah in Shiz. Madame Morrible did that for her!

Really, the only flaw in Morrible’s and the the Wizard’s evil scheme was that Elphaba’s principles and desire for justice were stronger than her need for anyone’s approval.

And that is so crazy to me, because if there’s a person who by all accounts should be subjectable to doing things in exchange for validation, it would be Elphaba. There’s so very few people in the world who have her back. Really, there’s only Glinda, Fiyero, Dulcibear, and Dr. Dillamond, who has been arrested and can’t help anyway. It’s amazing (read: depressing) how small her support system is.

And still, AND STILL, she managed to walk away from an opportunity of belonging somewhere, doing something she is good at (magic), with people who could grant her everything she ever wanted!

But as she herself said in Defying Gravity, she “can’t want it anymore”. So it’s not even a case of her not wanting that validation and acceptance anymore, it is her deliberately choosing to let that go in favour of something greater. And I know this addition was mainly about Morrible, but truth is, I’m not sure if she would be able to have the strength to refuse her and the Wizard’s offer if it wasn’t for Glinda.

Glinda, who could not have made a less favorable first impression on Elphaba. Glinda, who had the social power to make the whole student body accept Elphaba, but chose not to due to her own desire to be seen as a martyr for tolerating Elphaba’s presence (even if she seeks her out during times she really doesn’t need to for some reason). Glinda, who desperately wanted Morrible’s attention, the one thing Elphaba had that she did not.

But once their friendship blossomed, Glinda really became Elphie’s biggest defender.

She didn’t change a single thing about her appearance during Popular; when Elphaba’s invitation to go to Emerald City came, she was there right at her heels, supporting her, being proud of her, not really trying to shift the crowd’s attention to herself at all.

When the train comes, even though she is happy for her, there’s a part of her that’s morose about the prospect of being away from her best friend (“How will I manage without you?”), even if for such a short time.

While they’re going through the Wizard’s palace, Elphaba is anxious the whole time, and so is Glinda, but she is the one who pushes her forward with motivational words (“You can do anything.”).

And finally, during Defying Gravity, Glinda takes the first step back in their relationship since Ozdust, refusing to go with her. But even then, she doesn’t belittle Elphaba’s decision.

She initially resents the fact that Elphaba’s reaction “hurt her cause forever”, but once she sees what the other girl’s planning to do and that there’s no convincing her to give up, Glinda’s still supportive.

She gives Elphie a cloak so she won’t feel cold during her flight, she smiles at her even though it’s obvious she’s doing everything in her power to not fall over in a sobbing mess. Even her simple “I hope you’re happy” shows how she’ll always stand for Elphaba herself, even if she can’t stand with her cause.

And for as much as we like to make fun of how Madame Morrible clearly couldn’t stand Glinda from the very beginning and was always throwing really unnecessary jabs at her, I think deep down she saw the danger that could come from a friendship between the girls, how more difficult it would be to get Elphaba to be so reliant on her validation if she could get it from another source.

That’s why she seemed specially dissatisfied seeing that Glinda had gone with her to Emerald City, that’s why the Wizard himself felt the need to extend his offer of a permanent stay to Glinda too: because they both could see the influence she has on Elphaba.

And contrary to them, there’s no ulterior motive there. Glinda believes in Elphaba for who she is, and regardless of how strained their relationship becomes in the future, that never once stops being true.

you noticed how Glinda doesn't really let go of Elphaba basically from the Ozdust scene on and she's basically always holding Elphaba's hand or hanging onto her arm, even when its physically awkward to be doing so. and even during Defying Gravity after its clear that Glinda isn't going with Elphaba, they're still holding hands right up until the point where Glinda is grabbed by a guard and forcible pulled away from Elphaba

[esoteric-crow]

hey actually isn’t there something kind of really sad about the fact that the hardest difficulty (that isn’t just like. hell or hell. which is just ‘haha hehe Blow up.’) is called Dante Must Die. i think about it a lot. i can’t quite put my finger on why it makes me miserable but maybe someone else can.

but you know what i CAN talk about and i DO have actual fully formed thoughts about?

regenerating like crazy is great. but isn’t there something kind of inherently fucked up about the fact that, because of the regeneration dante and vergil have, neither of them will ever have tangible evidence to themselves or others of their suffering? asking themselves, was it really that bad? did it even happen at all? no matter how much you put vergil through hell and how afraid he is inside, there will never be a mark on his skin that says “i have suffered”. the world leaves no proof, nothing to take home from this experience aside from a more broken mind. vergil doesn’t say his feelings, or even allow them to surface properly, because that’s a kind of vulnerability he cannot handle. the only way he could perhaps earn someone’s sympathetic care is by expressing what he has suffered through, but he cannot verbalize that. and he looks perfect. unmarked by time or trauma. there isn’t a single part of his body that could scream out for him that something horrible has happened that he cannot figure out how to deal with alone.

and dante is just as poor off. and he’s very difficult to figure out emotionally to a passerby. dante purposefully puts on a happy face every day, and to the majority of the world, it’s convincing. there’s certainly no evidence to themselves contrary. not a scratch on him. but he is like kind of constantly getting the ever loving fuck beat out of him. stabbed and jabbed. when you look at him, you see happy, sweet, goofy dante. for all the years of pain he’s gone through, there isn’t a single marred inch of his skin that could tell you even a day of the agony unless he told you. and why would dante do that when he can pretend it simply isn’t happening until he’s alone and can sit with the terror that’s constantly in him and the loss he’s been living with, over and over losing people and being surrounded by the ghosts of their presence. whether the ghost is a wayward descendent, a gun, or just a lingering smell of ash in his childhood home. but that will only be private. he can be the walking dead, he can treat himself like shit, but his body refuses to show anything for it. and he’s certainly not going to die.

obviously, the same thing can be said for the opposite side of the spectrum: scars can be a constant reminder in the mirror of what happened that you cannot erase, always to some degree a part of you. among other stuff. so both sides of the coin are full of The Pains and The Anguishes.

on a side note, i really like when people give them like, one scar. i don’t really have a favorite one that people give vergil but i really like dante with just the one bigass gnarly one in the middle of his abdomen from the rebellion gettin jammed in there. his One scar. a treate. like it defies his regeneration somehow.

i love making a scarred up guy. i have plenty of scars n marks myself, and i feel like they should definitely be more normalized, so like, no this post isn’t anti scars or something. they’re normal and not ugly or whatever the hell people try to say. this side note is probably entirely unnecessary, but i’m tired and i’m worried about someone misunderstanding me i think. anyway i’m trying to say ooh scar angst yeah but sometimes No scars is also fucked up too. that’s the point here.

to sum up: i believe there can be something Fucked Up and angsty to be said about the fact that the sparda boys heal perfectly fine, but only externally. it is 3am. this is not articulated as well as it could be i don’t think. aaaand post.

[lunarriviera]

The Drawing™: yet another uts2 meta

warning: spoilers for under the skin 2 episode 14, behind the cut! (although this particular moment also appears in various trailers too.) to lure you in, pls look at du cheng’s absolutely besotted face:

first you should know that just prior to this event, our leads have a ghastly argument in a parking lot, in which du cheng screams at shen yi because he was literally scared shitless, whereupon shen yi, being shen yi, instead of thinking “oh it's because he’s crazy about me and would die if anything happened to me,” instead decides, I Am A Bad Police Officer. he nobly offers to accept any punishment that du cheng wishes to mete out, and walks away numbly as du cheng yells in confusion WHERE ARE YOU GOING, come back here, we’re having a couple fight??? do you not understand how this works??? (and also i'm your ride back to the precinct, bc i drive you everywhere now.)

then they’re very awkward with each other for like two episodes, until this happens. du cheng sits down at his desk and notices a thing:

here it is. The Drawing. some of the most egregious CP this already blatant drama has ever offered us. off the chain. out of control. literally bonkers. THEY WERE INSANE FOR THIS.

at this time i would like to offer some interpretations of said drawing. here we go. pls hear the following in tan jianci's voice.

1) thank you for your (wordless, shoved-at-me, but nonetheless generous and gracious) gift. here’s a gift for you. i’m leaving it on your desk so you don’t have to talk to me about it because i know talking’s not really your thing (only yelling anxiously at me in parking lots).

2) i'm also aware that the last drawing of you that i gave you was an extremely unflattering and sarcastic portrait of you as an 8yo grouch, because at the time you were being a belligerent asshole. but that’s not how i see you anymore. and i haven't, not for a long time.

3) you’re still young in this drawing, though—not only to parallel that one, but because that’s how i see you inside. and not just because you’re younger than i am. you’re much more serious now, more responsible, more thoughtful, with more gravitas. you’re not the same impulsive hothead. but you’re still just a boy. i see you. i see the youthfulness inside your heart. there’s something young about you.

4) you’re in contrasting fauve pastels because you’re vibrant and full of life to me, yet i also see your softness. peachy orange for your energy and vitality. crayon blue for your police exterior, lawful and loyal.

5) i never frame anything but i framed this for you so you can keep it, and maybe you'll take it home and think about me when you see it.

6) because i think about you. i think about you when you’re not here. i think about you, in fact, a lot.

tl;dr don’t @ me yes they're drift compatible but also they’re in fucking love

[slitherpuffinstories]

drarry microfic (set in eighth year) ~ mixed signals

”You came.”

“I did.”

There’s a disturbance in the air, and the head and torso of Harry Potter appears right in front of him. Draco shakes his head in disbelief, doesn’t dare to let his own gaze linger at the other boy for too long. Harry’s wrists are exposed due to his sweater being one or two sizes too small, the moonlight shining through the window of the Astronomy Tower making his toned skin look almost pale. Somehow the sweater still looks baggy on him, making his wrists seem smaller than they are. Draco’s breath hitches when Harry awkwardly runs a hand over his neck and his sweater rides up, exposing a little bit of skin above his waistline.

Draco turns his attention to the floor.

“You fucking idiot. You absolute moron.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh, for Merlin’s- don’t be, Harry. Fuck. You’re just so stupid.”

“Thank you?” Harry laughs softly, and it sends a shiver down Draco’s spine. The familiarity of that laugh forces him to look back up, and he watches Harry carefully. Harry doesn’t hide the fact that he’s staring, too.

“You’re sending rather mixed signals, you know”, he says after a beat of silence, and Draco blinks stupidly.

“Says you”, he scoffs, and the way his voice breaks at the end might be what gives him away. Or perhaps Harry has memorised his every facial expression these last months, like how Draco knows Harry’s every frown, every smile, every laugh. What matters isn’t what gives him away. What matters is that Harry is approaching him. Slowly and carefully. Merlin knows how much Draco needs him not to be careful right now. He needs the Harry he knows.

“Says me.” Harry’s smile is unbelievably soft. Draco had no idea that a smile could break down within him what no insults or curses could. Who would have known that someone doesn’t have to be harsh and cruel to make Draco Malfoy feel things? Experience these odd little things called feelings?

“You can’t talk about mixed signals, Harry James Potter”, he says, his voice fragile enough to barely carry but strong enough not to break. That bloody beautiful name leaves his lips in a voice quiet enough to be silenced by his exhale, and his lips tremble before being pressed together. But he can’t stop the words now, and they force themselves out of his mouth like Harry keeps forcing himself back into Draco’s life time and time again. “I told you we’re done, didn’t I? I thought I made it pretty clear. Yet you’re here, stubborn as always, you git! What makes you think that our relationship is cancelled but our stargazing date is not?”

“You never said it was cancelled, love.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Oh, but I love seeing you flustered whenever I call you that, Draco. Look at you. Now who’s the one giving mixed signals? You can’t tell me I’m a git and that we’re done while blushing like crazy and refusing to look at me.”

“I can, and I did.”

“Hm. Cute.” Harry takes another step forward and lets his invisibility cloak fall to the floor. It’s draped over his shoes, making them vanish and creating the illusion that he’s floating a few inches above the floor. Draco feels like he is floating. He must be floating. Maybe the breakup did kill him, and that wasn’t just him imagining things, and now he’s a ghost doomed to haunt this very tower forever. The tower where he broke up with Harry beneath the stars. The tower where Harry is now back, where they’re both together again, and Harry is staring at him with stars in his eyes. That shine makes up for the lack of stars outside, and Draco doesn’t regret coming up here one bit, even though it’s cloudy and cold.

“Harry.”

“No, I didn’t come up here in a foolish attempt to win you back, Draco. I didn’t think you’d be here. After all, you broke up with me. I didn’t think there’d still be a date.”

“This isn’t a date.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

Draco can’t help but stare at the matte black mess that is Harry’s hair after he has just woken up. “The same as you, probably. Except I didn’t manage to fall asleep no matter how hard I tried, and you seem to have gotten at least a few minutes of sleep before you decided to take a late night stroll up here.”

Harry doesn’t ask him how he knows it, just nods gravelly. “I dreamt of you.”

“Hm. Cute.”

“Not quite, actually. I think I prefer the real version of you over dream-Draco. He’s quite cruel, you know. Not very cute when the person you love is yelling at you, telling you that you’re worthless and a fool for falling for him.”

“I’m sorry.”

There’s silence, and then Harry snorts. “Are you seriously apologising for your actions in my dreams right now, Draco?”

He blushes furiously and looks away. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“You fucking idiot. You absolute fucking mess of a person.”

And before Draco can process what’s going on, he’s being pulled into a tight hug. With his face full of unbrushed, black curls and a fist full of Gryffindor sweater, Draco can finally relax for the first time in days.

When they part many minutes later, the first thing Draco does is wipe the stupid tears out of his face with his sleeve, and he clears his throat awkwardly.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Draco.”

Once again the words come tumbling out of his mouth. “But what if it isn’t? What if dream-Draco was right, and you’re a fool for dreaming of me and wanting to be with me, and I’m a fool for wanting you? What if I am a fucking idiot? What if this—“ He gestures at his puffy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. “— is who I am? And what if real Draco is out to hurt you? Without even knowing it. What if I hurt you, hurt you by breaking up with you again of fear of hurting you, and what if I just aren’t good enough for you or right for you and what if—“

“How about I just cut you off right there?” Harry manages to put an end to the stream of words with one look. “There. Now that you’re done talking nonsense — because you are done, I hope? — what do you think about the two of us finally making that stargazing date happen? Like, right now?”

Draco can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Potter, did you even listen to anything I just said?”

“Indeed I did, and I came to the conclusion that it was all utter bullshit. I’m not saying your feelings are though, and we’re going to have to have a talk about all of that. But not right now. You’ll feel better after we do something else, something fun to get your mind off of the bullshit! Trust me!” Harry beams at him before taking Draco’s hand in his. “Stargazing it is!”

“Potter, there are no stars to gaze at.”

“What? Oh. Yeah, you seem to be right about that. Blimey. Well, Astronomy Tower and all, I guess that leaves us with one option then.” Draco can’t help but huff something that could be a laugh at the way Harry wiggles his eyebrows at him.

“Remind me again when and why I fell in love with you and your weirdness.”

“Remind me again if you’ve ever outright told me that you love me before?”

“I, er, I don’t think so. Sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

“Well, you can’t take it back now! This means you’re stuck with me forever, there is no escape!”

“Oh, the horror.”

~ the end ~

[bloodyinkandquill]

Boombox x Reader NSFW

last time i worked on this was november 11th, sorry yall ive had problems with motivation and finals week was last week plus i got sick so i didn’t have much time to work on any requests, hopefully i get back in the swing of things however i am in a hotel about to begin a vacation so my wifi may not be good for a week unfortunately, we shall see i suppose

D/V/S: He’s chill, not big on the dynamics but leans more towards sub he’s a-okay letting you take full control

T/S/B: Switch with a slight preference for bottom, can really do either though

Kinks: Not a kink but let’s establish this immediately, he makes a custom playlist for sex that he always plays, got it? Good. Onto actual kinks he’s not that kinky of a guy in all honesty, he’s more into just casual more low key stuff, that’s not to say he’s against kinks he’s for the most part down with whatever you wanna do, but he does enjoy cuddle fucking and just softer stuff, specifically if he’s topping, he’s also into slight sensory deprivation, specifically sound wise but adding a blindfold is cool with him, it can go either way honestly being depraved or depriving you

More kinks: If he is the bottom he’s a slight masochist, nothing crazy but if you do wanna be rougher with him and man handle him some he likes that a lot, but not too frequently he prefers most of the time chiller stuff, he’s also got a very slight humiliation kink, just more so you making him do stuff to get off that’s a bit embarrassing like watching him hump a pillow or making him hump your leg, again not extremely or super commonly he just does enjoy them on occasion

Aftercare: If he topped he plays a calmer playlist and gets you some snacks and water, he usually isn’t rough when topping so not too too much aftercare is required, at least based on if you had some kinks you wanted to indulge in, if he bottomed he goes semi verbal I feel like, he feels like a guy to be pretty loud in bed so he prefers not to talk much, he just wants to cuddle a lot afterwards and make content hums and sleep, one of the only times he’s quiet honestly

oh my gods lets go i did it, going into this i had like no ideas, i’ll be so real i genuinely don’t have like any strong opinions towards him or skateboard not in self shipping specific just in general, which is a bit ironic i main (see literally only know how to play) slingshot in phighting and they’re his best friends so me not really caring about them is funny, but yeah hope these are good, i might do my next request but i was on the road all day and im tired so i might fall asleep before finishing it we shall see

[morgana-larkin]

Alrighty, I finally finished it as I kept getting distracted when writing it due to the holidays. But here it is, Worth It chapter 14. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: I’ll be writing Chessy ones next as I finished the Donna ones. If you don’t read Chessy then Happy Holidays and Happy New Year! ❄️🥳🥳🥳

Worth It - Part 14

Warnings: Smut, swearing in English and Italian

Words: 11.3k

You awake to the smell of breakfast being cooked downstairs and you put your robe and slippers on before going downstairs. You open the kitchen door and the sight before you makes you smile. There’s Melissa, happily making food while humming the song that’s playing from her phone. She’s in her robe and her hair is in a messy bun and she looks so happy right now.

“Good morning!” She says when she sees you.

“Morning.” You say and she goes up to hug and kiss you. “Why are you so chipper this morning? You remind me of Janine.” You tell her and she scoffs at you before going back to the food.

“I’m just happy this morning. I got 2 weeks off of work and can spend time with my girl without interruptions or responsibilities.” She tells you and you smile.

“No interruptions besides the Christmas party that’s today and the new year eve party that’s on Friday.”

“Well that’s beside the point.” She says and you smile at her. “You should eat up, we got a meal to make and things to put in the car before going to Marie’s place.” She tells you as she hands you a plate of food.

“A frittata with pieces of ham and peppers in it?” You ask her and she nods. “What are we tasked with bringing today again?

“Pasta alla Norma, it’s a Sicilian pasta with eggplant.” She tells you.

“That’s like 5 Italian dishes that I know of that use eggplant.” You say and she looks at you with a smile.

“Because it adds the right flavour.” She says to you and strokes your cheek. “Remember what I told you about today?” She asks you and you nod.

“Stick by the people that I know, don’t get angry if they insult you or the pasta, and watch out for Marie as she’s a total nightmare on Christmas.” You tell her. “I still have questions about those.”

“What questions?”

“I don’t get why they would insult you. Even though you guys are Italian, it still doesn’t sound right. Also Marie was so sweet and quiet last time I met her.”

“And your parents are from Vermont, they’re practically Canadian but your mom is a complete bitch.” She tells you.

“Not every Canadian is nice. I’ve met a lot of Canadians since we’re so close to the border, some of them are real assholes.” You tell her and then finish up your breakfast.

“Marie is always like this on Christmas, she’s the sweetest Schemmenti but on Christmas she’s the worst.” Melissa tells you. “Been that way since we were kids and we don’t know why.” She tells you.

4 hours later and the pasta is made and the both of you head to the bathroom to start getting ready. You both hop in the shower and start washing when you feel hands wrap around your waist.

“What are you doing Melissa?” You ask with a smile as you lean into her touch.

“What if I want my taste of you before we go to the party?” She asks as she starts kissing your neck.

“Why do you always want sex right before your family’s parties?”

“Because I like claiming you as mine.” She says before spinning you around, pinning you to the shower wall and kissing you with force. You begin moaning into the kiss when she starts playing with your nipples. She goes to her knees and immediately wraps her mouth around your clit and sucks hard.

“Do you not want me to last long?” You manage to get out between moans. Melissa gets back up to be face to face with you and brings her hand to your clit.

“Consider we have to leave in an hour and a half, probably best if it’s quick.” She tells you and plays with your clit the way she knows drives you crazy.

“Melissa.” You gasp out as you’re close and she kisses you. You gasp into the kiss as you come and she pulls back with a smirk. “You’re evil.” You tell her with a smile and she giggles.

“Come on, we have to finish the shower and then get ready.” She says and you grab her hips with both your hands. “Woah!” She says as you pull her to you.

“You haven’t come yet.” You tell her and she smiles before she brings your leg out a bit and places herself on your leg.

“Then hold this leg still.” She says before she starts grinding on it. You tense up your leg muscles and she moans out as she keeps grinding. “Do you feel how wet I am, baby?” She asks and you nod. She keeps grinding on your leg until she comes with a gasp and rests her forehead against yours as she calms down. “I want to wash your hair.” She says and you tilt your head after she pulls back. “Can I wash your hair?” She asks and you nod before she pulls you under the water.

You pull your leather jacket on over your red dress and look in the mirror. You check your makeup again to make sure there’s no mistakes and then you put both of Melissa’s gifts in the bag, one for secret Santa and the other one because you wanted too. You get out of your room and then go downstairs to where Melissa is putting the food in a bag.

“I see we both went with leather and red.” You say as you see her outfit and she turns around to see you and her jaw drops. “What do you think?” You ask her as you do a little pose and she has to swallow all the extra saliva in her mouth due to her drooling over you.

“You look beautiful.” She says when she finds her voice.

“So do you.” You say. Melissa went with leather pants, a red top and a little pin on the right side of her shirt.

“I can’t wait until we get home and I can ravish you.” She says with her seductive voice and you shiver a bit at her words.

“That depends on how much you drink tonight.” You tell her and then walk past her to put your coat on. “Last time you couldn’t stop flirting and tease me.” You tell her. “Well until I brought you into Janine’s bathroom, did a quickie and then threw freezing cold water at your face.” You say and her mouth drops as you bend down to slip on your heeled boots.

“You threw water at me?” She says and you nod proudly as you see her shocked face. “Well that’s rude.”

“It was a fair punishment for trying to have sex with me in front of our coworkers for 4 hours.” You tell her and she pouts. “If that happens again but with your family then I might see how far you’ll go, especially with your siblings there who will tease you about it after.” You add on and then walk outside.

“And you say I’m evil.” Melissa says while she follows after you and then locks the door. “Stellina.” She says while she’s driving the both of you to her sister's house.

“Ya?” You ask and turn your head to look at her.

“There’s something that I haven’t told you and it might show today as I usually get a lot of Christmas cards from my family.” She starts and you tilt your head. “I’m dyslexic.” She says and you smile.

“Melissa, I already know.” You tell her and she furrows her eyebrows.

“How?”

“I’ve seen you grade tests and papers many times, I’ve seen you read over the same sentence twice many times.” You explain. “I don’t care if that’s what you’re worried about. And I never brought it up cause I figured you’d tell me when you’re ready.”

“It seems like you were made for me.” She says and you smile.

“Maybe I was, I am 20 years younger so maybe I was born to love you.” You say and she giggles.

“You’re cute.” She says.

Melissa knocks on the door and her brother Tony opens the door.

“Hey sis and Eva!” He says and hugs you both. “Thank god you’re here. Marie has gone crazy as usual and she ain’t listening to any of us.” He explains as you both walk in and hear shouting in Italian from the kitchen.

“Well what makes you think she’ll listen to me?” Melissa says.

“You’re the eldest sibling, you basically have Ma’s power until she gets here.” He says and you take Melissa’s bags of presents.

“Why don’t you go and try to calm your sister down and I'll put these under the tree.” You tell her and she nods before she heads to the kitchen. You head towards the tree and Tony follows you.

“So is Carl coming?” He asks and you look at him before rolling your eyes.

“Yes he is. Is your boyfriend here?” You counter.

“He is.” Tony answers. “But like I said before, open relationship, just last week we both went to the bar and made out with other people.” He tells you.

“How do you not get jealous by that?” You ask him.

“Well it’s sometimes the point, the other gets jealous and it makes the sex hotter.” He tells you and you grimace.

“Ok TMI.” You tell him. “You think it’s safe to go into the kitchen. There’s not as much shouting.” You say and then Maria Christina runs out.

“I was banned from the kitchen.” She says as she walks over to you both.

“Definitely not safe.” Tony tells you. Then the doorbell rings and Maria Christina goes and answers it.

“Merry Christmas Ma!” She says and you see Teresa there and she hugs her daughter.

“Are all my Bambini here?” She asks her daughter.

“Yep, most in the kitchen. The two out here are the ones who got banned.” She says and Teresa smiles.

“Merry Christmas Tony and to you as well Eva. I’m guessing Melissa is in the kitchen?” She asks you and you nod.

“I believe she’s trying to keep the peace until you get here.” You explain and she laughs.

“Sounds like an Italian Christmas.” She tells you before heading into the kitchen. You hear all the shouting stop at once and then you hear Teresa shout out some orders.

“Why are only the siblings here?” You ask Tony.

“Most people don’t get here until 4 or 5.” He tells you. “We just get here early to help out.”

“Melissa warned me that this family is the worst on Christmas. But I’m confused, I just saw you all on Thanksgiving and you were alright.”

“Schemmenti’s and extended family get feisty on Christmas.” He says.

“But why?”

“Christmas has never been the same since Nonna died, now Christmas has to be perfect.” He explains to you.

You then see Melissa, John Anthony and Marie Camille come out and they’re all carrying dishes. They go and put them on the giant dining table and then Melissa walks over to you.

“Keeping all my siblings in line is tiring.” She says. “I already want to drink.” She adds on and you giggle.

“Well I’m driving home so drink all you want.” You say and she wraps her arm around your shoulders.

“Thanks for the reminder.” She tells you and then places a kiss on your cheek and then goes back into the kitchen.

An hour later all the food is out and people have been arriving non stop. Kids have been running past you and immediately head for the basement before you’re not going to see them again for the evening. You go and take a seat on a couch and just sit there with a glass of juice in your hand, watching everyone catch up with other people.

“Melissa, go keep your girl company.” Melissa hears Seamus say.

“Why? Is she ok?” Melissa asks.

“She’s sitting on the couch alone. I mean I could just tell the rest of our siblings and I’m sure they’ll run over to her.” He tells her.

Melissa scoffs before she picks up her wine glass and leaves the room to the living room. “No need to tell them.” Melissa tells her brother.

“Hey Stellina, what are you doing all alone?” She tells you and sits beside you.

“I don’t know a lot of your family and there’s a lot of people here. So I just decided to sit here.” You tell her and lean into her. She puts an arm around you and kisses the side of your head.

“You could have come to find me. Seamus told me that you were all alone here.” She tells you.

“Well I’m ok, I was alone but I was watching everyone converse with each other.” You tell her. “How many glasses of wine have you had?”

“Lost count after 2.” She tells you and takes a sip. She then turns her head to face you and you give her a kiss. She grabs your chin and keeps you into the kiss until you hear someone call your name.

“Hey Eva.” You turn and see Carl there followed by John, George and Anna.

“Auntie Eva!” Anna says excitedly and then runs to hug you.

“Hi Anna, and Merry Christmas!” You tell her and then she goes and hugs Melissa.

“Hi Melissa!” She says.

“Hello Anna.” She says and returns the hug.

“Anna, if you want you can go and join all the kids in the basement.” You tell her and she smiles before she runs down and joins the other kids.

“You know now I know what it’s like when you walk in on me and George kissing.” John tells you and you stand up to hug him.

“Ya, but it’s worth it to see you happy.” You tell him. “Merry Christmas.” You add on.

An hour later and you and Melissa return to the couch with plates full of food.

“So anything interesting happen since thanksgiving?” Toni asks everyone.

“Well Eva got jealous of a parent flirting with me.” Melissa says and everyone looks at her.

“Well Ms. Obvious here didn’t even know the parent was flirting with her all week.” You add on.

“So how are you two together if you don’t notice someone flirting with you for a week?” Marie Camille asks Melissa.

“Well I noticed Eva was flirting with me. But because I love Eva, I didn’t notice the parent’s advances.” Melissa defends herself with.

“So what did you do then Eva?” Maria Christina asks like it’s interesting gossip.

“Mostly ignored and got mad at Melissa.” You say and Melissa rolls her eyes.

“Ya, wasn’t fun being ignored all week.” She says.

“I was going to go shout at the parent but Barb stopped me and instead I went up to Melissa and kissed her in front of the parent.” You tell them and smirked at Melissa.

“And then on Monday she saw the hickeys you left on my neck from Friday and left me alone after that.” Melissa adds on.

“But she leaves you alone, that’s the important part.” You say and Melissa wraps an arm around you.

“Yep, you made sure she got the message.” Melissa tells you with a smile. “So anything interesting with any of youse?” Melissa asks all her siblings and yours.

After everyone eats then dessert is put out and everyone gets up to get more food.

“Please eat as much as you want.” Marie yells at everyone. “I do not want to be stuck with a bunch of food again.” She complains after sitting down with her siblings.

“Aw, don’t complain sis, it’s Christmas, lighten up.” Seamus tells her.

“Tell me to lighten up one more time Seamus and I’ll punch you in the face.” She tells him.

Melissa puts her head on your shoulder as well as a hand on your thigh.

“Alcohol starting to take effect?” You ask her.

“Nope.” She says with a smile and then runs a finger up and down your thigh.

“I think it is.” You say and grab her hand that was on your thigh and she lifts her head up and faces you.

“I’m not drunk, I just really love you.” She says and gets really close to your face.

“Well I really love you too.” You tell her and give her a kiss.

“Sis, do you ever think you might want to date a man again?” Kristen Marie asks Melissa.

“Why would I do that when I have her?” Melissa asks and points at you.

“I meant if it doesn’t work out.” Kristen Marie says and you give her a confused look.

“Why wouldn’t it work out? Are you wanting to break up with me?” She asks you and you shake your head.

“Of course not.” You tell her. “Kristen Marie what the hell are you trying to get at?” You ask her sternly.

“I’m just curious.” She says and puts her hands up in defence. Melissa then wraps her arms around your waist and you wrap an arm around her.

“Don’t leave me.” She mumbles out and you stroke her head.

“I don’t plan on it.” You tell her.

“Get yourself together Melissa.” Teresa says and you look at her mom. “If you’re too clingy then she’ll leave you.” Her mom adds and you glare at her mom.

“Glares don’t work with this family Eva.” She says to you and then walks away.

As if sensing the tension that happened, Marie suddenly yells out “PRESENT TIME!” She says and gets up to go to the Christmas tree that’s full of cards and presents. “Ok we’ll do secret Santa first. Eva, can you come help me? I know you’re not drunk.” She asks you and you peel Melissa off of you and walk over to the tree. “Ok you find presents for secret Santa and then hand them to me so I can give it to the person.” She says and you nod and then search through the gifts.

After everyone got a gift then they all proceed to open their gifts while you sit down with yours. You open yours and see it’s a vibrator and you quirk an eyebrow and see Maria Christina smirking at you.

“For when Melissa isn’t in the mood and you are.” She tells you and you look at Melissa who has no idea what’s going on as she’s opening her gift that you got her.

“Oh my god! A pink leather jacket! That’s so amazing!” She yells out and she looks around at everyone’s face to see who it might be. She looks and sees you holding your phone and telling her to try it on. “Wait a minute, this is our wrapping paper. You’re my secret Santa?” She asks you and you nod.

“Now get up and put it on so I can take a picture of you in it.” You tell her and she does as you say.

“You’re so obedient outside of the bedroom.” Toni tells her and Melissa flips her off and then puts the jacket on.

“Does it fit?” You ask her and she moves her arms around before nodding.

“It’s perfect!” She says with a huge smile and you take a picture while she poses. She then gives you a big hug as she sits back down beside you.

“Ok Eva, I need your help again. Get your ass over here.” Marie says and you get up and walk over to the tree. “Ok I need you to help me hand out the gifts.” She tells you.

“But I don’t know who everyone is.” You tell her. “Just your siblings, my siblings and your mom.” You tell her.

“I know, which is why if it’s someone you don’t know then hand it to me.” She tells you and you nod.

10 minutes later and all the presents are handed out to everyone. You go and sit back down and see 4 presents, and 8 cards there for you. You go and read who they’re all from. You see the presents are from Melissa, Kristen Marie, John and Carl. You open all the cards first and see all 7 of Melissa’s siblings gave you one as well as Teresa. You then go and open the gifts. You open Carl and John’s gifts first before you open Kristen Marie’s gift.

“Do I even want to know what you got me?” You ask her and she shrugs. You open it up and see she got you a shirt that says ‘I’m with stupid’ and coincidentally it’s pointed right at Melissa. You actually laugh at that and it gets Melissa’s attention and she looks at it and then glares at her sister.

“Rude.” She says before she goes back to opening cards.

You then open Melissa’s gift and see she gave you a framed photo of the 2 of you and you see there’s a little note attached to it and you take it and open it up. ‘For you to put on your desk in the library for everyone to know you’re mine.’ It says and you look at her and smile. “You’re sweet.” You tell her and she looks at you and smiles back at you. “You have no idea why I’m calling you sweet do you?” You ask her and she shakes her head. “You’re so drunk, my love.” You tell her and she goes back to opening Christmas gifts. She opens your gift and sees you got her a photo album and she opens it to see there’s already pictures of the two of you in it. “I hope to fill it with you.” You tell her and a tear runs down her face and she hugs you.

“Thank you, Mia Stellina.” She says to you and you smile.

“Merry Christmas Melissa.” You say to her when you pull back from the hug.

“Merry Christmas Evalina.” She says back to you and gives you a kiss on the cheek.

“Ouch a pity cheek kiss.” You hear next to you and turn to John Anthony there.

“Shut up, it’s not pity.” You tell him and he shrugs.

“It looked like it.” He says and you glare and then remember that glares do nothing to Schemmenti’s.

“Maybe you should shut the fuck up.” You tell him and Melissa looks at you as well as all the other siblings.

“Ooohhh, Eva is getting feisty.” Maria Christina says and you roll your eyes.

Half an hour later and all the siblings are visibly drunk and what Melissa said is true, they’re kinda assholes on Christmas and they’re getting on your last nerves as they’re picking on you and Melissa.

“Oh my god, Melissa, are you a homosexual?” You hear and you all look up to see Uncle Archie there and you notice the placement of Melissa’s hands, one is wrapped around your waist and the other is on your thigh.

“I’m bisexual.” Melissa tells him and gives you another cheek kiss. Uncle Archie then looks at you.

“Melissa wasn’t a homosexual before, did you convert her?” He accuses you and you get up and walk away to the bathroom. You ignore all the calls of your name from Melissa and her siblings, as well as your siblings.

You get to a free bathroom and you lock yourself in it and take a deep breath at the sink. You try to get control of your breathing and then you hear a knock on the door.

“Eva, you in there?” You hear John say and you unlock the door and let him in. “Hey, are you alright? You looked upset back there.” He asks you as he closes the door and locks it.

“No, I'm not ok. Melissa warned me that there’s always insults thrown to everyone especially on Christmas and then her uncle Archie was the last straw.” You tell him. “It reminds me of mom.” You tell him. “Except all in one night. I came to Philly to get away from the criticism and I’m in a relationship with someone who’s family does it on Christmas every year.” You add on and he hugs you.

“I know it’s not easy.” He starts with. “If it makes you feel better, when I left, her brothers were holding Melissa back from strangling their uncle. And I believe she was cursing, it was hard to tell as it was slurred and in Italian.” He adds and you snort.

“Sounds like her.” You say.

“Why don’t you talk to Melissa about this tomorrow? Obviously not tonight as she’s super drunk. But tomorrow tell her how you feel and she’ll definitely think of something to help make you feel better.” He tells you and you nod.

“Do you ever miss it? Home.” You ask him and he thinks about it.

“Rarely but there has been moments in the past 8 years. Why? Do you miss it?” He asks.

“A little. I miss the home we grew up in, the friends we made, the life we were trying to build and then realised we had to leave our mom.” You tell him and you let out a dry laugh. “But I would miss Philly more if I ever moved.” You say to him.

“Why would you ever leave Philly? Melissa is here and I don’t see her moving out of Philly as her whole life is here.” He asks.

“I know, but if it didn’t work out with her then I would move.” You say.

“Just ignore all the stuff that her family has been saying. I don’t see this relationship with her failing, this is the first mature relationship you’ve been in.” He tells you. “Even to that girl who proposed to you 5 years ago, she wasn’t mature enough for you.” He adds and you nod.

“Is the reason you came instead of Melissa is because she’s threatening murder?” You ask with a smile and he laughs.

“Pretty much.” He says and then you both hear a knock at the door.

“Eva? You in there?” You hear Melissa say, the words slurred. John looks at you and then you wipe at the tears that formed before nodding to him. He unlocks the door and opens it to reveal Melissa.

“Oh thank god I found you. Are you ok?” She says as she runs to you and gives you a hug.

“Ya, I’m ok. Just needed a break.” You tell her as she pulls back.

“We can leave if you want.” She tells you and you shake your head.

“I actually want some more dessert.” You tell her and she smiles while you both head to the dessert table.

“Eva, you missed Melissa threatening to strangle Uncle Archie.” Toni says. “Seamus and John Anthony had to hold her back cause she was actually going to.” She adds on and then laughs.

“Could you imagine if she killed him?” Kristen Marie says. “Would have made the party better.” She adds on and everyone agrees and then laughs.

Everyone stays for another hour and then people start to head out. You see Melissa start to get sleepy and then decide it’s time to head out as well.

“Melissa and I are gonna go before she falls asleep on me. I cannot carry her inside the house.” You say and you pull Melissa up from the couch. You both say goodbye to everyone before you get the containers back from Marie and then get ready before leaving to Melissa’s car.

Once you get home you grab all the gifts and containers and Melissa unlocks the door and you both go inside. You both go get ready, with you helping Melissa get dressed, and then you fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

You wake up to Melissa scrambling out of bed and running to the bathroom and you check the time, 7:47am. Melissa comes out a few minutes later and doesn’t look good.

“You look like hell.” You tell her and she groans.

“Why didn’t you stop me from drinking so much?” She asks and you shrug.

“I honestly didn’t see you half the time.” You tell her. “You were either helping out, chatting to family members, or I was helping hand out all the gifts.” You say to her and she falls on the bed and snuggles into you.

“Do you mind warming up the leftovers from yesterday?” She asks you and you nod.

“Sure, I’ll be right back.” You tell her and slip out of the bed, put your robe on and go downstairs. You come back to Melissa fast asleep and you go to wake her up gently. She blinks her eyes open and then looks confused before seeing you with food in your hands. She gets up and eagerly accepts one of the plates from you.

A couple hours later you’re scrolling on your phone with Melissa snuggling into you. You then think about what John told you yesterday and you look at Melissa.

“Hey Melissa, are you feeling up for a conversation?” You ask her and she looks up at you.

“Is everything alright?” She asks when she sees your face.

“What do you remember from last night?” You ask her and she thinks about it.

“Not much, I remember gifts, I’m definitely going to wear that pink leather jacket to school.” She tells you and you nod with a smile. “I remember little bits of conversations and threatening to strangle Uncle Archie for some reason, although knowing him he probably deserved it.” She says with a small laugh and then looks at you. “Did he say something to you?” She says and gets up slowly to not give herself motion sickness.

“He did, he told me I converted you to being a homosexual.” You tell her and you see a fire start in her eyes. “It’s fine, you already defended me by threatening him and you were held back by your brothers or else you would have strangled him, and you were cursing at him in Italian.” You tell her. “The truth is your entire family got on my nerves.” You tell her and she looks at you confused. “The way they were picking on both of us reminded me of my mom.” You explain to her and she gives you a sympathetic look. “I don’t know if I can be with someone who’s family is like the exact same person I moved away from to escape her.” You add on and she looks at you with a worried look as she sits up more and grabs your hand.

“I don’t want to lose you Eva. I can talk to my family and tell them to cool it or we won't go to family get togethers.” She suggests.

“I couldn’t keep you from your family, your family is everything to you, I know that.” You tell her.

“It seems as if you’re making me choose between you and my family.” She says softly. “And I can’t choose.” She says and you grab her other hand.

“I’m not asking you to do that. I’m saying that I can’t be around your family. So whenever there’s a family get together then I won’t be going to it.” You tell her and a tear slides down her cheek. “I’m still trying to heal from my past and my mom. And being around people that are like her isn’t helping. Maybe after time then I can be around them, but right now, I can’t.” You add and she sniffles.

“I don’t want to go if you’re not there.” She says.

“I don’t want to keep you from them and give them a reason to hate me.” You tell her.

“You’re not keeping me from them, I’m choosing to stay with my girlfriend.” She tells you. “Will you at least come to the New Year’s Eve party at my mom’s?” She asks you and you think about it before nodding your head.

“Ok, one more party.” You tell her and she smiles at you.

The two of you spend the day in bed as Melissa was trying to get over a hangover and you just happily read the new book to her that she got from one of her siblings.

During the day, when you went to the bathroom, Melissa sent a threatening message to her siblings group chat.

Melissa: Hey you stronzos listen up, you’ll have to cool it with your insults and picking on us or I will kill you. Got it?

Kristen Marie: where is this coming from?

Toni: I don’t think that’s possible in this family

Maria Christina: I don’t even remember last night

Seamus: Does this have something to do with Eva?

Tony: I also don’t remember last night

Marie Camille: We need more context Melissa

Marie: Were we too much for Eva last night?

John Anthony: I barely remember anything at all, the only thing I remember is Melissa threatening to strangle uncle Archie and telling him to go to hell in Italian

Melissa: The details don’t matter, just cool it or I will make do on my threat

Kristen Marie: I’m texting Eva

Melissa then goes to text Kristen Marie so she won’t text you but then sees you coming out of the bathroom with a confused expression.

“Why is Kristen Marie asking if I’m ok? Oh my god are you threatening your siblings?” You ask her as you get another text.

“Yes I am, I’m telling them to cool it or I’m gonna kill them.” She tells you plainly.

“You don’t have to commit murder for me.” You tell her.

“Family you kill for, even if you have to kill blood relatives.” She tells you. “Outside of my blood relatives, you and Barb are my family.” She tells you and rejoin her in the bed.

“That’s so sweet, no one has offered to kill for me.” You tell her and she wraps her arms around you while you place your head on her chest.

“If you’re not already feeling better from yesterday then my boobs should do the trick.” She jokes and you giggle.

“They are really comfortable and squishy.” You say and squeeze one of them. “Two giant pillows for me to lay on. And other times two nipples to suck on to help turn you on. Or even times they’re two big stress balls.” You tell her and she smiles.

“Glad they’re multi-functional for you. They’ve mostly been a pain for my back and just a pervert magnet at bars.” She tells you and you lift up her shirt and put your hand on one of her boobs. “What are you doing?” She asks.

“Playing.” You tell her and then you do a little kitten lick to the nipple. You feel her hips move slightly and you smile. “What did you say yesterday before the party? Wasn’t it that you want to ravish me when we get back?” You ask her.

“I did say that.” She tells you calmly but you can tell by her dark eyes that she’s turned on.

“Aren’t you going to do what you said or are you gonna be a liar?” You challenge her and she smirks.

“Maybe you should give me a reason why I should pin you to this bed and make you cum until you beg me to stop.” She says and your jaw drops and your brain stops working. “Did I make you speechless, my little sugar plum?” She says.

“Sugar plum?” You ask her and tilt your head.

“It’s the holiday season, seems appropriate.” She says and then you lean to her and kiss her. You pull back after a few seconds and you see her eyes are darker.

“You know I could always just take out that new vibrator your sister gave me last night if you’re not in the mood.” You say and you go to get out of bed but she grabs you and pins you to the bed.

“Which sister?” She asks you and you smile.

“Maria Christina.”

“Of course she did.” Melissa says with an eye roll and then she kisses you. She pulls back and then she takes her shirt off of you, one of her longer shirts that you love to wear to bed. “No matter how many times I see this body, I still love undressing you.” She tells you and you smile. She gets on top of you and then bends down to kiss your neck. She starts sucking and you start moaning and try to buck your hips but she’s on top of you. “Already turned on? I barely touched you.” She teases and you whimper. “Relax little Stellina.” She says near your ear and then she trails her mouth down to your nipples and takes one in her mouth. She brings her hand down over your centre and runs her fingers through your folds. “You’re so wet.” She says before easily sliding a finger in you.

You moan as you feel her finger inside of you, hitting all of the spots that make you feel good. “Melissa.” You moan out and she smiles around your nipple. You feel your orgasm building and you start squeezing around her finger and then she pulls out. You snap your head up at her and she smirks before she gets off of you and reaches for the nightstand. “What the hell? I was getting close.” You tell her and then she pulls the strap out and you blush.

“I know you were close but I need you needy and wet.” She says as she takes her shorts off and slips the strap on. She makes sure the dildo is placed at her clit before she gets in between your legs. “Now, I know you’re wet, but I don’t know how needy you really are. I don’t know if you really want this.” She says to you and you gulp. She then places her hands beside you and makes sure the dildo is near your entrance and leans down so she’s close to your ear. “How needy are you?” She whispers in your ear and then pulls back to look at you. You let out a whimper and she smirks at your reaction. “That’s not an answer, baby.” She says as she strokes your cheek.

“Please, Melissa.” You beg.

“It doesn’t seem like you really want it.” She teases and you grab her shirt and pull her towards you. “Woah!”

“Please mommy, I need to feel you inside of me.” You beg again and she smiles widely before she grabs the dildo and then slowly slides in you.

“You’re so needy for mommy.” She says before she’s all the way inside of you. “I know this would be much better if this was a real cock.” She says before she starts moving inside of you. “Where I can feel you all hot around me, squeezing me to make sure I stay inside of you, squeezing me dry to make sure I finish inside of you.” She says and you wrap your legs around her to pull her closer. “If I were to finish inside of you, then I would really claim you.” She tells you and then begins rubbing your clit. You start breathing hard as you feel your orgasm starting to build. You’re aware that hers is building as well, as her movements aren’t as steady, her breathing is heavy as well.

Your foreheads connect as you both get close and you have your mouth open as you're right at the edge and then she notices you’re squeezing the dildo as it got a little harder to push inside of you. You then gasp as you come out and then Melissa comes right after you. She pulls out of you and then goes and rubs your clit and you gasp.

“I told you, make you come until you beg me to stop.” She tells you and you put your hands in her hair and you grab a handful and squeeze as you’re already so close to your second orgasm. She kisses you and your arch your back slightly as you reach your second orgasm with a moan. She doesn’t stop as she immediately inserts a finger in your entrance while still rubbing your clit and you cry out.

“Melissa, Melissa please, it’s too much.” You tell her.

“I think I can get one more out of you.” She says as she rubs your clit faster and you unwrap your legs from around her and place your feet on the bed. You start bucking your hips as the sensation is overwhelming and she pins you to the bed and kisses you to help. “Take your time baby, don’t force it.” She says and you relax as much as possible as you feel your orgasm building quickly. You then squeeze her finger as your whole body tenses and then you come with a gasp. She pulls out of you and immediately lays beside you and cuddles you to help your body calm down. She feels your body shaking slightly and she kisses your cheek and brings you closer to her.

“You do what you say you will.” You pant out and she smiles as she rubs your arm. “Also, do you have a breeding kink?” You ask her after a second and she looks at you confused.

“What’s a breeding kink?” She asks and you have to think how to word it.

“It’s that you love the thought of breeding me but without me getting pregnant.” You explain to her and she hums.

“I guess I do.” She says. “It’s more the thought of you being mine though.” She adds on and you get more comfortable on her. “How about I run us a nice hot bath?” She suggests after a few seconds and you nod your head.

“Ok.” You say, a bit tired.

“Did those 3 orgasms wear you out?” She asks you, amused. You nod again and she giggles. She gets up and runs a hot bath and she gets you to follow her so you don’t fall asleep on the bed. She gets in the bath first and then you get in after her and lay on her chest. She places her chin on the top of your head and wraps her arms around you. After a minute she notices your breathing evens out and she lets you sleep for a few minutes before waking you up.

The next day she surprises you by teaching you how to waltz around the living room after moving the dining table into the kitchen.

“When did you learn how to waltz?” You ask her as you see she’s really good.

“Ma put me in dance classes when I was 7 after I asked.” She tells you. “As the golden child, I got my wish.” She says and you chuckle.

“I thought you only did enough to stay in her top five?” You question and she laughs.

“I did, but at this point there was only 4 of us. Marie Camille was just born when I went to dance classes.” She explains.

“What was your childhood like? I mean you have 8 younger siblings and you’re Italian. Must have been difficult.” You say and she thinks about it.

“It was more annoying having 8 siblings then it was having Nonna make sure I know how to cook properly.” She tells you. “It was difficult having to help raise my siblings, as I’m sure you know.” She says and you nod. “But it was also the 70’s and 80’s.”

“What’s the age differences?” You ask her and thinks about it.

“Let’s see. Well as you know, I’m 50.” She starts out and you nod. “Kristen Marie is 2 years younger than me so she’s 48, Marie is 2 years younger than Kristen Marie so she’s 46.” She continues and thinks about her other siblings. “Marie Camille is 3 years younger than Marie so she’s 43, John Anthony is 2 years younger than her so he’s 41. Maria Christina was born just 11 months after him so she’s 40. The terrible twins were born 2 years later so they’re 38. Pa died shortly after the twins were born and then Ma got married about 4 years later and then had Seamus who’s 6 years younger than the twins, so he’s 32. Seamus was born when I was turning 18.” She finishes explaining and you nod.

“Must have been a packed house.” You tell her and she giggles.

“Loud is the right word.” She says and then spins you around then continues to teach you to waltz.

“Would you want that many kids?” You ask her and she immediately shakes her head.

“I only want 1 or 2.” She says and you smile.

“I want that as well.” You tell her and she kisses you. “Have you ever thought of any names?” You ask her and she nods.

“I thought of the name Liliana for a girl and Luca for a boy. Liliana in a way came from the name Lily so it’s like the Italian version. I have thought of non Italian names but I don’t like them as much.” She tells you and you smile.

“I’ve seen Italian names and I like them too.” You tell her and she smiles.

“And which ones have you thought of?” She asks.

“I like a few E names for girls.” You start and she nods. “I like Emilia, Eleanora and Eliana.” You tell her.

“And the fascination with E names has nothing to do with your name beginning with an E?” She asks you and you giggle.

“I guess it kinda seems like that but there’s no relation.” You tell her and she spins you around. “I also like the names Veronica, Vanessa, Sophia and Diana.” You tell her and she hums.

“You have quite a list for girl names, what about boy names? Have you thought of those at all?” She asks and you nod.

“I liked the names Enrico, Pietro and Romeo. Romeo just because it reminds me of Romeo and Juliet.” You tell her and she rolls her eyes.

“No Romeo.” She immediately says.

“What?”

“Ma said that she was told there was a kid in Sicily named Romeo and he was made fun of in school because of Romeo and Juliet. And I don’t doubt the same thing would happen here, I mean I’m with second graders all day, someone named Romeo would more than likely get made fun of.” She explains and you pout. “Besides want to name a kid because of a story about star crossed lovers who both commit suicide?” She adds on and you think about it.

“I like Romeo and Juliet. The idea of a forbidden love and then two people who are willing to do anything to be together.” You tell her. “Wait, is Juliet Italian?” You ask her.

“No, it’s Latin.” She says and you pout. “Oh, stop pouting.” She says with a smile.

“But Romeo and Juliet takes place in Italy and Juliet is not an Italian name?” You question.

“I’m not the right person to ask that question to.” She says with a quirked eyebrow. “The right person would be Shakespeare.” She says.

“Well if I ever get the chance to meet him then I’ll definitely ask him.” You say and she shakes her head. She then spins you so that your back is to her front and has her arm wrapped around you while your hands are still entwined. “Is this part of the waltz?” You ask her and she hums.

“No, more of the Rumba but I just want to feel you close to me.” She tells you.

“Exactly how many styles of dancing do you know?” You ask her and she thinks about it.

“Well I know the Waltz, Rumba, Salsa, Samba, Tango, Quickstep and a small amount of the Foxtrot.” She says and you smile.

“Will you teach me all of those?” You ask her and she nods with a smile.

“I could teach you the Rumba next, the dance of love.” She says and you lean your head back and she kisses your forehead.

“I’d like that, we already got the love part done.” She says and she hums. “I know a bit of burlesque dancing.” You say suddenly and she spins you around so you’re face to face.

“Is that why you’re so good at giving lap dances?” She asks and you nod.

“So what are we doing for the rest of the week and are we bringing anything to the party on Friday?” You ask her.

“I thought we could bring cacio e Pepe.” She tells you and you smile.

“The first meal you ever taught me.” You say and she nods.

“It’s what helped bring us closer, I thought we could bring it to the end of the year party.” She says.

“You know some teachers think you’re not romantic and soft, and by some I mean all, but you are romantic and soft.” You tell her and she groans.

“Don’t go telling them that, I got a reputation and it keeps annoying ones away from me.” She says and you smirk.

“What would you do if I go around revealing your soft side?” You challenge her and she quirks an eyebrow at you.

“If you did then I would have to punish you.” She says and starts walking forward and you’re forced to walk back. “I would have to punish you by edging you until you apologise.” She adds and you gasp as your back hits the wall and Melissa traps you. She pins your hands above you while she kisses you with force and places her leg between yours. You start grinding on her leg as you got turned on by her kisses. She presses her body right up against yours and you moan as you feel her boobs squished up against you. You get close to an orgasm and then she pulls back and then walks away. “That’s what would happen if you told.” She says as she walks to the couch. You gasp out in disbelief and then walk towards her.

“That was cruel.” You pout and she laughs. “I mean I haven’t told anyone.” You say and then you pounce on her and you both fall onto the couch. You’re straddling her lap and then you kiss her with the same force she was kissing you just moments ago. You then grind on her thigh until you come.

The week goes by quickly as you both relax and have sex for the entire week. It’s Friday at noon and you’re both making the dish to bring to the New Year’s party.

“I think you’ll find my family is tamer today. They’re only the worst at Christmas.” She says as you’re helping her with the dish.

“I already told you that I’ll see that for myself tonight. If it’s true then I’ll go to the Easter party and whatever other holiday you celebrate with your family.” You tell her and she smiles.

“That’s all I ask.” She says and then gives you a kiss before you both continue the dish.

You slip on a purple dress and then you walk outside and see Melissa in a sparkly gold shirt, leather pants and she’s slipping on the pink leather jacket you gave her.

“Nice outfit, that jacket really brings it together.” You tell her and she laughs.

“I hope you don’t get cold, you didn’t even put tights on.” She tells you and you shrug.

“If I get cold then I’ll just cuddle with you and steal your warmth.” You and hug her.

“So you’re gonna be a little Koala?” She says as she picks up her purse and the bag with the food.

“No, I’m gonna be your little Koala.” You say and she giggles.

“Well then my little Koala, how about we go to the party or I might want to just stay here and fuck you until next year.” She says and you shiver.

“Well I won’t say no to that.” You tell her and she snorts before walking to the door.

“Finally you guys made it.” Teresa says as you both walk into the house.

“Hello to you too Ma.” Melissa says and then she hugs her mom. “I made some Cacio e Pepe for today.” Melissa says and then hands her mom the container.

“Oh how nice, haven’t had that dish in a little bit.”

“It was the first dish I taught Eva how to make.” Melissa tells her.

“Count yourself lucky Eva, Melissa doesn’t reveal the family secrets of our cooking to just anyone.” Teresa tells you.

“Oh I already know how lucky I am.” You say and then kiss Melissa’s cheek.

“Eva, do you mind if I take Melissa for a second?” She asks you and you look at Melissa who nods.

“I’ll go talk with your siblings, I see them over there.” You tell her and she gives you a kiss before you walk over to her siblings.

“What is it Ma?” Melissa asks.

“How long have you two been together?”

“3 months, why?”

“The chemistry you both share reminds me of the chemistry between me and your Pa. Don’t let this one get away.” Teresa says and then walks away.

“What did your mom want?” You ask her once she joins you and her siblings.

“Nothing much, just said she approves of our relationship.” She tells you.

“I think that was clear as she keeps inviting me to family events.” You tell her and she smiles.

“So what are you and my troublemaking siblings talking about?” She asks.

“Troublemakers? Us?” Toni says in fake shock.

“Well we are.” Maria Christina says. “Except for the older boring ones.” She adds and giggles with the twins.

“Oh Eva, your brothers are already here but they got swept away by family members.” John Anthony tells you.

“Oh thank you, I’m sure they’ll circle back to here at some point.” You say and then you turn to Melissa.

“So who’s the designated drinker tonight?” You ask her.

“I still remember my major hangover from Sunday so you go right ahead.” Melissa tells you and you nod then go grab a drink.

You get swept away by Vinny and Annette after grabbing a drink and you stay and talk with them for a few minutes.

“So I heard there was some trouble at Christmas.” Annette says to you.

“At Christmas her siblings and mom act like my mom and I’m trying to heal from the trauma my mom caused me.” You tell her honestly and she nods.

“I get it, Italian families can be tough to adjust to.” She says. “A lot easier if you’re born into them so then you desensitize.” She adds on and you nod. Just then Uncle Archie joins and you glare at him.

“You’re that queer that turned Melissa into a homosexual.” He tells you and Vinny holds him back while Annette puts an arm in front of you.

“She was born like that.” You tell him and he scoffs.

“She married a nice man and now she’s dating a little girl.” He says and before you can think about it, you throw your drink at him and everyone turns to look at the scene. Melissa walks up to you, sees what happened and pulls you away.

“Just walk away.” She tells you. “What are all youse looking at like this doesn’t happen all the time?” She asks everyone and then they all go back to their conversations. “Are you ok?” She asks you and you nod.

“I just don’t like him.” You tell her and she smiles.

“No one really does. He’s too set in his ways.” She tells you and then takes your cup. “Looks like you can use a refill. Come on.” She says and then goes with you to get you another drink. “Here, this is a stronger drink.” She says and hands it to you. You chug it down and she laughs at you before handing you another one. “Better be slower with this one unless you want a major hangover.” She says and you nod before taking a couple sips. “A few cousins want to talk to you to get to know you.” She says and then brings you over to some people.

You get to know a few new family members of hers instead of just her immediate family members, and you quite like everyone you meet, except for Uncle Archie who stays away from you. You start to get quite drunk around 10pm and Melissa stays by your side more as she wants to keep an eye on you.

“I’m just gonna go to the bathroom.” Melissa tells you and you nod before she walks away.

“Look at her ass and boobs more and you’re no better than a perv.” Kristen Marie says as she walks up to you.

“Well I’m with her so I’m just a pervy girlfriend then.” You tell her and she smiles.

“So what happened at Christmas? You never told me why Melissa was threatening us.”

“You guys reminded me of my mom.” You tell her and she nods.

“I guess we’re a lot on Christmas.” She says and you nod. “We’re much better every other day of the year though.” She adds and you giggle. You then stumble and fall into Kristen Marie who catches you. “You’re quite drunk.” She tells you and takes your drink. “How many of these have you had?” She asks after sniffing it.

“4…?” You say unsure, then start showing fingers that definitely don’t add up to 4.

“They’re really strong.” She tells you.

“And tastes really good.” You say and giggle.

“Your girlfriend is really drunk.” Kristen Marie says and then pushes you to Melissa.

“Wee!” You say and then Melissa catches you. “Can I tell you a secret?” You ask her and she nods. “I have a girlfriend who probably won’t like how close we are.” You whisper to her. “You actually look a lot like her.” You say with surprise and you gasp. “Like twins.” You say and she starts leading you to the couch as you keep stumbling as you walk.

“I’m sure your girlfriend won’t mind if I take care of you tonight.” She tells you and then throws you on the couch.

“Ahh!” You say and then burst out into giggles as you hit the couch.

“I’ll go get you some water and food.” Melissa says and then walks away to the kitchen.

“What’s up Eva?” Maria Christina asks you as she sits down next to you.

“Don’t tell Melissa but I may have drank a lot.” You tell her “shh.” You say and do the ‘shh’ motion.

“I won’t tell her. But maybe you and your loose lips want to play truth or dare?” She asks you as everyone agrees.

“Ok, but don’t tell Melissa.” You say and then giggle.

“Eva, truth or dare?” Maria Christina asks you.

“Dare!” You exclaim and Melissa comes back just as you say that.

“I dare you to kiss-”

“The name you say better be mine cause she ain’t kissing nobody else.” Melissa cuts her off with.

“Well where’s the fun if I say your name? You two have probably already kissed 5 times this hour.” Maria Christina complains to her sister with. “Eva, I dare you to kiss Toni.” She tells you and earns a glare from Melissa.

“Which Toni?” You ask.

“Sister Toni.” She explains and you nod. You then get up and give Toni a quick kiss on her lips. You then sit back down and Melissa sits beside you with some food and water for you. You start eating the food as the game continues. The truths and dares get more scandalous as it goes on and then Melissa ends up before anyone gives you a lap dance.

You disappear on Melissa when a family member starts talking to her and she finds you with another drink and holding onto Annette for dear life.

“There you are.” Melissa says and takes you from Annette. “Sorry about that, she escaped from me.” She tells her cousin.

“That’s alright, kinda like a kid.” Annette tells her and then goes to talk to another cousin.

“Don’t go wandering off.” She tells you and you just stare at her in amazement.

“Am I in trouble?” You ask her as she leads you back to the couch with her siblings.

“You will be if you wander off again.” She tells you sternly.

“Is mommy gonna punish me?” You ask her and she quickly covers your mouth but all her siblings heard. They all have their mouths hanging open in shock before the twins and Maria Christina have giant smirks on their face.

“OH! OOOHHH!” Maria Christina exclaims.

“OH MY GOD!” Toni says.

“This is the best!” Tony adds.

“You guys have a mommy kink!” Maria Christina says loudly and Melissa glares at them.

“Keep your voices down.” Melissa scolds them.

“Why is mommy gonna punish us too?” Maria Christina teases and all her siblings laugh, even Marie.

“Seriously? All of you?” Melissa says as she throws you on the couch.

“Wee!” You say, completely unaware of what’s going on.

“It’s too funny.” John Anthony says.

“Your girlfriend keeps throwing you under the bus.” Marie Camille says as Melissa sits next to you and you wrap your arms around her.

“You’re my girlfriend, right?” You ask her and she sighs.

“At the moment that’s in question, loose lips.” She says and her siblings burst out laughing. “Oh all youse can shut it.” She scolds her siblings.

“Is mommy gonna spank us?” Kristen Marie teases and Melissa whips her head at her sister.

“Eva is definitely in trouble for this.” Melissa mumbles and then you plant kisses all over her face and then climb into her lap.

“Looks like mommy’s attention is wanted.” Seamus says and Melissa sighs loudly. Melissa puts her hands on her temples and you fall to the ground as Melissa wasn’t supporting you.

“Ow!” You say and then Melissa helps you up. You sit back on the couch with a pout, cross your arms and look away from her.

“Oh the silent treatment? Really? How mature.” Melissa says sarcastically.

“Looks like mommy is in trouble.” Tony says and all her siblings laugh again.

“Everyone shut it.” Melissa tells them all sternly. “Eva, quite it out.” She tells you.

“You pushed me.” You tell her and then quickly glare at her before turning your head back to not look at her.

“I didn’t push you, you fell by accident.” She tells you.

“Doesn’t look like she’s forgiving you.” John Anthony tells her and she sighs.

“Really? I didn’t notice.” She replies sarcastically. You then suddenly get up and try to make a run for it but the twins catch you and hold you back until Melissa grabs you and drags you back to the couch. “Where were you going?” She asks when you’re back on the couch.

“I don’t know.” You tell her and she sighs

“For fuck sake. Cazzo, you’re such an idiota right now Eva.” She tells you and you just blink while staring at her.

“You’re so sexy when you speak Italian. You tell her and straddle her lap and go to kiss her. She covers your mouth with her hand and you open your eyes to stare at her in confusion.

“Not the time or the place.” She tells you and pushes you off of her.

“Ahh!” You say as you’re sitting next to her again. “You pushed me again!” You exclaim and cross your arms.

“This time was a push, the other time you just fell off of me.” She explains to you.

“Hm.” You say and turn to look away from her.

“If you’re ignoring me then I guess you don’t want a midnight kiss to ring in the new year?” She asks you and you widen your eyes before turning to face her.

“What time is it?” You ask her and she looks at her watch.

“11:29pm.” she tells you.

“We could do something to pass the time.” You tell her as you move a hand to her leg and trace it up to the top of her thigh.

“Looks like she wants mommy to punish her.” Toni says and Melissa grabs your hand.

“Later.” She tells you and you pout.

“But I’m bored.” You complain and turn around then lean back and place your head on her lap dramatically.

“You’re acting like the kids in my class.” She says. “I’m sure if they can survive 7 hours in school 5 days a week, then you can survive 31 minutes right now.” She tells you and gently runs her fingers through your hair.

“Eva, didn’t you see that your family is Irish?” John Anthony asks you and you turn your head to look at him and nod. “Then drinking is in your blood, have some more.” He says to you and then leans close to Melissa. “It’s just water.” He says to her and hands you the cup. You drink the whole thing and then place it on the table.

“There was no flavour there.” You say to them.

“Wasn’t there? There was flavour in mine.” He tells you.

“You have pretty eyes.” You tell Melissa and her cheeks turn slightly red.

“Well thank you Mia Stellina.” She says and you lean in closer to her. “What are you doing?” She asks you.

“Looking at your eyes. They’re a beautiful green.” You tell her and she smiles.

“Well thank you but can you back away a bit so you’re not right in my face.” She tells you and then the giant tv springs to life and everyone’s attention turns to it. Teresa changes it to the New Year Eve’s celebration in New York and you watch it in amazement. One of the bands starts playing a song and you grab Melissa’s hand and pull her up off the couch.

“Let’s dance!” You exclaim to her and she laughs as you pull her to a free space and the two of you start dancing to the song.

Everyone turns to the two of you before a few other couples start dancing as well. When the song is over, half the people there are dancing and Melissa is laughing as you stumble through the entire song. She catches you everytime and she still enjoys dancing with you even though she’s catching you for half the song. Another song comes on and everyone starts dancing again and Melissa holds on to you tightly this time and leads the dance.

“Alright 1 minute to midnight!” Teresa shouts as the countdown on the tv shows 60 seconds. Some of the kids come up and your brothers move their way through the crowd to you. Melissa holds onto your waist as the excitement is building for the new year.

“My New Year’s resolution is to make every day with you count.” She tells you and you smile at her.

“That’s mine as well.” You tell her.

“Ready?” Someone exclaims and then the entire room starts counting down.

“10…9…8…7…6…5…”. Everyone shouts and Melissa turns her body towards yours and pushes you closer to her. “4…3…2…”. Melissa leans in at the last second, lips almost touching. “1!”

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[hongtonie]

ok so…

i’ll just start from the top with high touch and the grp photo

when i tell you i was shitting myself with anxiety…….. we made line friends with a few people and we bonded over how anxious we were

it went by So fast but then again the whole thing felt crazy fast maybe bc we were waiting outside and inside for so long

but we were at the very front of the vip line which means we were first after vvip…. crazy. and i was like maybe the third person in the single file line but we walked in the theater and they were just lined up there and all i could think was “fuck fuck fuck fuck they don’t look real fuck fuck fuck” AND THEY DIDNT. THEY DONT. like it’s crazy they don’t look real they’re so gorgeous SUNGHO ESPECIALLY MY GOOOOOOD

but we went down the line giving each member a high five it was junji > taeyeob > wookjin ? > kyubin > sungho > yongsoo and for junji and taeyeob it was like a gentle high five but wook and kyubin Went for it like they fully high five you AND THEYRE SO TALL im short im barely 5’4 BUT THEYRE SO TALL

after we went down the line we circled back around to behind the chairs they were standing in front of for the grp photo and I WAS FUCKING RIGHT BEHIND YOOJUNG. and i was waving at all of them as they sat down and kyubin looks me dead in the face with his fake nose piercing and says “hey” with a smile as he sits down

GIRL.

LIKESHJDOFHHDBS WHAT STOP THAT

But i was too nervous to like tap yoojungs shoulder to do a heart or anything lmao so i just did a peace sign and stared at the back of his head like what is happening.

after we got out of snapshot me fern and one of the friends we made had a grp hug all on the verge of tears it was very sweet

then it was a bit more waiting and we filed back into the concert hall whatever you wanna call it and their performances were fucking amazingggggggggg

kyubin ripped open his shirt during asoiaf junji kissed rie on the cheek or the other way around it’s all a blur all i heard was the sound and saw junjis embarrassed face yoojung pretended to be santa claus but one of his mustache bits flew off they did a la la land bit that included sungho slapping kyubins ass as the percussion it was a fucking wild time

taeyeob was blowing kisses the whole time it was so sweet i love him🥹

OH MY GOD HOW DID I ALMOST FORGET during the la la land bit kyubin was asking the crowd if we’ve seen la la land and i put both thumbs up AND HE GAVE ME A THUMBS UP FUCKING BACK WHAT THE FUCK this man has me in a chokehold

but um yeah for encore they did asoiaf angel and onlyoneof you when i tell you i was so relieved they were doing onlyoneof you considering i spent like two hours labeling all the hearts yesterday with my mom

but during angel they had the whole crowd jump with them it was so cute 🥹🥹 i remember jumping and coming up in the air to see kyubin shaking his ass he’s wild i love him

my view wasn’t great but it wasn’t terrible i’m happy with it overall 🫶🫶

but yes i held up my heart during onlyoneof you and a few people around me did and i saw a bunch more throughout the crowd which really warmed my heart and i saw wookjin point at one and smile 🥹 which is gonna make me cry but my whole goal was to make them feel loved and i feel accomplished in that even if not every member saw them i’m glad at least one did

and for the photo after asoiaf before angel and ooo you i passed forward the flag as fast as i possibly could lmao and yongsoo was over by our side and he grabbed it 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 he put it around himself and wore it for one pic but then the staff grabbed all the flags and took two more pics without them 💔 but we did lion pose first then i love you pose with hand hearts and that’s the one that they posted on their story

after the concert they told people with snapshot to stay in the concert hall and premium was gonna go first and i was able to stay with a couple line friends but they had kyubin and i had yoojung so we had to split up for the night </3 but they were so so nice and one of them let us use her perfume so we didn’t smell for snapshots 😭😭

i anxiously got in line after taeyeob finished up premiums and there was one person in front of me screams and they had to change the film cartridge thing so they got a little extra time and i was just staring at the floor trying not to be awkward but then it was my turn and she (kelly unfortunately) asked what pose i wanted, i looked at the thing to be sure and told her the number, she told him the number he said hello! and i said hi! and we took the picture and our shoulders touched and i felt very ahdjroehhegkigbd about it yknow and he MADE EYE CONTACT which i’m afraid of but he’s so gorgeous oh my god… and so fucking tall i felt so short even in my tall shoes😭 but he made eye contact and said thank you for coming WHICH I WAS ABOUT TO SAY so i just said thank You for coming! and as i was walking (like two feet away) to get the polaroid from her he said have a good night! but it took me way too long to process he said that so i had to yell back you too!! and then i ran to fern and died a little while i waited for it develop but it’s so cute and i love him and i don’t believe it’s real it’s photoshop there’s no way tonight happened

[idontmindifuforgetme]

I love Tumblr because nothing matters here truly. There are no influencers. Having followers doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a site where people post their sporadic thoughts and rb pretty pictures. Anyone who thinks any of this matters is woefully missing the point

[onpie]

Noodles and Tea’s work inspired me fr

[4lexnilsen]

“abilene,”   he murmurs into the space between them,  kissing the tip of her nose to get her attention,   “i don’t think i’ve ever truly understood what it meant to be loved…   until now.   until i met you.   i’ve spent the majority of my life just trying to survive,  to keep moving forward and make sure my little brother’s doing the same thing,  and i never thought i’d be someone worthy of a love like yours.”   the way she cradles his hand so close to her own chest,  to the ring that means so much to the both of them,  to the heart that’s so very dear to him,  it’s hard to put into words how he feels about her —   she could do so much better than him and yet she keeps on choosing him.   why?   he doesn’t fully understand it,  but her love is the only constant in his life and he’s grateful for it.   “and you’ve given me something i didn’t even know i needed —   hope.”   a reason to believe that maybe there’s more to this life than just fighting to stay alive.

“thank you.   if they try to ask you to leave,  i’ll just throw a fit.”   he attempts to joke,  but there’s a hint of sincerity to his words.   he’s tired of falling asleep in an empty room with the white noise of different machines beeping all around him,  staring at the ceiling and wondering if she’s okay.   he’s missed having her petite frame snuggled up to his left side,  her hair in his face,  their heartbeats in unison,  her warm breath on his skin.   “yeah,  they want to make sure i’m not a traitor,  that i won’t sabotage their operations.   that’s why they’re keeping me here,”   he grumbles,  brows furrowing as he lowers his voice.   he feels silly making up conspiracy theories,  but his body’s healing so well,  he’s gaining weight and even beginning to workout again…   there must be some ulterior motive,  he thinks.   or maybe there’s none and he’s just gone crazy.   the isolation’s making him lose his wits.

“baby,  you don’t know what your words do to me.   this means everything.”   hearing the curly-haired brunette say she’s not scared of him feels like the weight of the world’s been lifted off his chest.   after all,  he’s done things,  seen things,  that can change a person.    “the games take parts of you you never get back,  and sometimes i don’t know if what’s left of me is worth much.   but one thing i can promise you,  i’ll never ever hurt you,  baby.   i’ll never stop fighting to be someone you can love,  someone you can trust,  even when the world tries to pull me back into the darkness.”   and as she touches his jaw and kisses his cheek,  the world around them melts away.   and it’s just them.   their foreheads pressed together,  skin on skin.   however,  hearing the not-so-subtle change in her voice,  alex gently pulls back,  tugging the blanket over her shoulders as if to create an illusion of safety.

“well,  i would’ve tried to stop it.   i know that you had no say in it,  that they tormented and manipulated you,  forced you to do those things,  but…   i simply would’ve refused to accept those gifts.   i wouldn’t have let you offer them in the first place.   those kids stood no chance,  sponsor gifts or not.   we both knew it.   besides,  it was never your job to save the world or make them feel better at the expense of your own mental health and wellbeing,”   he rambles on,  his chest constricting when he notices the moisture on his hands.   chapped lips kissing her tears away,  brushing against her eyelashes,  then her forehead,  too.   “i’ll bring you their hearts,”   he whispers,  arms curling around her shoulders,  pulling her close to his chest.   there’s tenderness in his voice despite the lingering rage.   “every single one of those men.   i’ll find them and rip them out with my own hands,  make them pay for this.”   he’ll learn their names,  he’ll find a way.

abilene had not felt love — true , unyielding love , until she found alexander nilsen . it had not been love at first sight , she hadn’t seen him during the tribute parade and fallen head over heels for the tall boy with sandy curls from twelve . . . it was deeper than that . it was a love that had revealed itself quickly and only grown with time until every fiber , every element of her sang for him . she recalled her father , who had never been one to sing , singing songs he wrote to her mother’s grave almost every night once they were all sent to bed . the love she felt for alex was that kind of love , the love that changed a person and made them grow , a love that persisted .

❛ i’ll always stay with you . ❜ she nodded . she thought that she could ask dalton , the rebel from home , to stay with david tonight and made a mental note to ask him . abilene wasn’t sure if the medical staff would allow her to stay , but she was sure that they would have to pull her off of him and drag her away if they wanted her to move from this spot . she pressed her lips to alex’s forehead . ❛ they want to monitor you just a bit longer , i think . . . soon we won’t have to be apart , i promise you . ❜

abilene felt as though some shadowy hand belonging to the people of the capitol was squeezing her heart with each word that alex said . what did they do to him ? every breath the hand squeezed tighter and tighter and her eyes glossed with unshed tears . she tried to clear her throat , but the emotion was so thick that it was no use . ❛ i am scared of wasps , and of mutts . ❜ her hands moved to hold his jaw , and her thumbs brushed against his cheeks . ❛ i am scared of losing you . but i could never be scared of you . ❜

abilene took the hand he had placed on his heart in hers and brought it to her chest . she pressed the back of his hand over her own heart . the thought of being scared of alexander nilsen may have been humorous had it been any other moment it was absurd . the same hands that had won the games , that yearned to help fight in the rebellion , that gladly would have spilled blood for her cradled her head so gently .

the hand that remained on his face cupped his freshly shaved jaw . her thumb brushed away the streak left behind by his tears though there was no shame in it . when feelings were subdued and tucked away they only rotted inside of a person and twisted them into a shell of what they were before . she was proud of him , so so proud of him . abilene leaned forward to press her lips gently against his cheek right where her thumb had brushed away his tears .

their foreheads were pressed together when alex continued to speak . abilene's body tensed and her heart began to race though not in the fuzzy , warm way that it did with alex . rather , it was in the same way it did when she saw gunner turn around and knock her knife from her hand . fear , pure terror . she shook her head and pressed her fingers against his lips to shush him .

❛ no , alex . ❜ her voice was quiet and it wavered . her eyes avoided him , looking at him without really looking at him with a glossy , unfocused gaze . she hated talking about them . she didn't want to think about them , not ever again . she wanted every last one to be a moment of her past that was better left forgotten . perhaps , that little voice in the back of her mind piped up , she should take her own advice and speak .

perhaps , abilene thought , that voice could fuck off .

❛ you wouldn't have been able to stop anything . ❜ she spoke quietly , it was true after all . what would alex have done ? walked up to president snow and every person in the capitol and stopped them ? ❛ and i didn't . . . i didn't do it for you . ❜ abilene bit her lip and let out a shaky breath . ❛ they they w-were all-l so lit . . . tle . ❜ she rose her hands to her eyes and wiped at them angrily . the kids from twelve were smaller than most no matter their age . she tried to steady her voice with a shaky breath . ❛ they were so small a-and scared and i couldn't do anything . all i could d-do was . . . was what i did , and i'd do it again . ❜