#they would be fun on every ship!
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How you doing? :3
So, yes yes yes!!! My original thought was just the engineering people, because it's either hate or love with gambiarras. There's no middle ground. But... That's amazing! I love it!!! And, yes! They would!
Sisko's "Please don't tell me because I'd rather have plausible deniability" made me laugh so much!
Janeway's replicator never gives her problems again, but please don't put stuff to cook and go take a shower. However, as soon as they're finished, the Brazilian (let's call them Malu, and make her, for ease of future reference?) looks at her and goes "Just... Don't... Oh. Not because it'll burn. No. That will cut off main power to the whole section." Until one day, Janeway forgets, puts something to bake and goes "well, a quick shower won't hurt" and the second she turns on the shower? There's this big explosion noise and half the ship loses power. Janeway laughs about it for weeks. Chakotay thinks that's a nightmare scenario. Janeway has Malu running TED talks for the engineering crew (and anyone who wants in) about "Gambiarras, or when MacGyvering takes some advanced college classes and hits the gym, and how to make them", tho she can't figure out how to explain the second part, other than in practice, so they'll have some old broken things and random stuff so the crew can fix it anyway they can. There's a point system, and whoever gets the thing to work the longest by the end of the week, makes the best looking (because it's not just about the functionality), and most unnecessarily complex ones with just the stuff before them will get some replicator credits.
Kim would appreciate her, I think, after a couple years when he stops being so by the book.
And Data loves her as long as they don't touch him. They say "yeah, no. I wouldn't dare to do that. I have respect for (my) life and it would be very risky." Tho, in an away mission that [insert something that happened to Data here], they were the only engineer available and the transporter was offline (of course it was), they had to.
I also think that outside of engineering situations she would rather get along with Worf. Tho, her bestie in the Enterprise would be Troi.
Barclay would also appreciate the gambiarras, as any good engineer would, he says, and often ask about how they work (when he starts to mingle with the crew).
Riker lines to have her on away missions, because "you never know when you'll have to do a comm badge out of bubblegum, some unrefined ore and a piece of cardboard" (his exact words to Picard)
They also transferred her from Enterprise to DS9 at O'Brian's request. He needed that finesse and expertise.
For Enterprise... I'm still rather early in the series, so I don't know the characters very well.
As stated before Trip/Tucker just loves her and the gambiarras so much. They're keeping that ship running and not giving him trouble? That's amazing! (He also took a liking to Caipirinhas after a few late night shifts)
T'Pol can make Tuvok look messy, so she hates them with a burning passion (although hate is a human emotion). She didn't care if no one knows how it's working, she'll demand it be taken off and fixed even more than Tuvok, even being as bold as trying to remove them. Unless they're the aesthetically pleasing ones, so Malu and Trip make their best to make sure all their gambiarras look pretty, lest T'Pol destroys them for "not being standard practice".
Hoshi spent some time in Brazil, so she understands. She likes the coffee and will often join with Malu for meals while chatting in Portuguese and discussing stuff they miss about there. We don't talk about São Paulo, tho.
Chef... Hates her. The pickiness about the food, the odd requests for specific local food that he has no idea how to make (namely feijoada and pão de queijo), the meddling in his kitchen to make everything just the way she likes it.
Mayweather also likes spending time with her (we're a charismatic people! :3), and he can appreciate a good gambiarra, after growing up in cargo freighters with no way to easily get help, they often had to improvise and there was a Brazilian in his ship, who taught him some basics ("you don't need to be an engineer to know the thing is broken") and he even can speak a little Portuguese, tho he has a heavy Rio accent when doing do.
Reed. Reed doesn't like the gambiarras. He understands them. He knows they work. He's even done a few himself (remember the episode he and Trip were stuck in the shuttlepod?) But he doesn't necessarily like them. Not to this degree, and because these are permanent fixtures, instead of a bandaid. And by consequence, he didn't like Malu. Tho, a couple gifts of his favourite fruit, "from Granddad's farm", he starts to warm up to her.
Archer adores her. He is the son of an engineer. He knows what goes on in that engine room in a pinch. And he once said "if my dad had someone like you on his crew..." Before looking away and deflecting the subject. He will often call her to try and get a new perspective on things, especially when traditional methods didn't work.
Their doctor? Not a fan. He's got one too many calm days interrupted by one gambiarra exploding, only to find out that now it was fixed Mitch the same way but "this time it won't blow up!" But, he rather enjoys the Brazilian cuisine and will try to tag along with her for a couple meals a week.
That's who I can think of right now... And it's 8am, and I haven't had coffee yet...
So, here we have a saying that goes "Brazilians need to be studied by NASA". It's due to many things, but mostly because of our passive skill: Gambiarra, aka, Advanced Red Neck Engineering.
So, I was thinking, how would the head of engineering of each Star Trek series react to having a Brazilian engineer (because an engineering degree can't stop the Gambiarras. They'll actually become better with it.) in their territory?
Scotty would drink with them, and creates a policy of "if I can't fix it, bring in the Brazilian". He doesn't touch the Gambiarras, and actually likes some of them better than the way the ship was originally designed. When questioned (most likely be Spock), he just says "we're light years from anything else, laddie. You expecting an inspector or something?" Then proceeds to take a swing of a bottle of cachaça.
Geordi, the perfect By-the-book engineer, would be running after them, trying to "fix" their Gambiarras, only to be told not to touch them or something else, that is completely unrelated, will explode. He learns that lesson the hard way, and never again touches anything with a clear Gambiarra. He's still surprised that some have lasted so long (irl, it's normal to find some that are 10+ years old because they just work better)
O'Brian loves them. Living in DS9 and having to engineer a way to make Cardassian and Federation technology work together? They're besties. They're often at Quarks (who disgruntlely learnt to make an actually good Caipirinha), and trying to figure out how to make things work out. The one time O'Brien freaked out, was when his pet Brazilian went on a space walk to fix a docking port, and their suit was 80% tape. They were grounded after that and O'Brien got Keiko to give them a "disappointed Asian mom" glare, the one thing capable of stopping them, in the lack of a Latina mom holding a Havaiana (/Chancla)
B'Ellana is kinda like Geordi, but she's not intimidated by the eventual explosion. She tried to fix every single one "the right way", and only stopped when removing the Gambiarra that was, somehow, keeping the Holodecks working also, somehow, disconnected the sonic showers. After that, she gave them a deadline. Any Gambiarra should be gone within the week. They were actually there for months at a time, and she didn't exactly complain.
Trip is happy to have them there. Someone who can fix a ship with nothing more than a wrench, some bubblegum and tape? That's his dream come true. They keep the shuttlepods functional, and have put a recipe for Brazilian coffee and Caipirinha on the drink replicator. Somehow, the coffee always tastes better when they're the one ordering it, and they have a collection of a specific kind of glass that they'll drink everything from. However, they're the chef's worst nightmare, because they're extremely picky on how their food should be prepared Brazilian style (aka, lots of onion and garlic, well salted and with rice and beans for their lunch every day.)
#star trek#star trek voyager#ds9#star trek ds9#st voy#at ds9#st tng#tng#a Brazilian engineer would have been fun on voy#they would be fun on every ship!
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I would find Blondie Lockes very annoying in real life, but I love her in fiction. She's a genuinely good journalist in terms of both skill and ethical integrity, who only occasionally forgets to check the facts because she's fifteen and holds herself accountable when she does. She has incredibly high standards for everything and believes herself to be the ultimate authority on quality. She has magical lockpicking powers because her fairytale is about Goldilocks breaking into a house. She somehow completely ignores the story's moral that Goldilocks was wrong to break into the house, feels entitled to go wherever and help herself to whatever she's able to and cannot comprehend why people dislike this. She's been terrorizing an anthropomorphic bear family with her cheerful disrespect for privacy and is convinced that they love her. She has a non-anthropomorphic pet baby bear. Her motivation is dependence on external approval rooted in deeply internalized classism. She's desperate to be useful and important to those with higher social status and feels the need to lie that her family is technically royalty to fit in with her royal friends, even though they treat commoners like equals all the time. She positions herself as a conduit of true greatness; closer to it than the masses, but never the hero, always reporting on other people and evaluating what they've done. Because what she's done isn't enough to be worthwhile. What she is isn't enough. But this performative lifestyle makes her anxious about being judged as a fraud and an interloper, and ashamed of selfishly transgressing against social norms. Her microphone head looks like an adorable little bear head. That's one hex of a character alright.
#most of the time she's so fun and silly and happy#but every now and then she's like 'yeah i'm totally a princess! basically! don't question it!'#or 'cupid is it wrong that i want to be richer? aren't i pretty much a terrorist if i don't accept the life i'm born into?'#or 'i don't know what to do now that no big events are happening. what is my life without other people making it interesting?'#and then the plot moves on/inspires her to feel better but not stop lying/gives her a big event to get involved in#and i'm like 'GIRL. CAN WE UNPACK THAT?''#i do think shipping her with cupid is poetic as well as just nice and cute#cupid is all about love. if anyone could get it through blondie's head that she unconditionally deserves love attention and validation#no matter what background she's from or how interesting or trendy or 'just right' she or her content is#it would be her#blondie lockes#ever after high#eah
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Not pictured: Aventurine asking Ratio if he remembers where they parked
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr boothill#hsr dan heng#hsr caelus#hsr march 7th#Boothill openly admits he will rob someone blind if he doesn't like them. This is usually how he gets a new phone too.#you look at him and tell me he's never stolen a car NSJZJNDMD#I would love to see Boothill hijack a whole-ass space ship please he would have so much fun with it BSMJZNDMD#I know he and Aventurine have a temporary truce but Boothill pretty explicitly makes plans to kill him and Topaz in his party lines#so I wonder if they can get along or not haha#personally I think it's way funnier if they don't nskzjzndk#I hope Boothill threatens to give Aventurine a lead headache every other sentence-#-and Aventurine openly rubs it in that Boothill CAN'T kill him yet because he needs his info to find Oswaldo#I hope they strangle each other BSNZJNSND#caelus#march 7th#dan heng#boothill#...#henghill#because I can#(Dan Heng knows his boyfriend so well to expect things like this out of him-)#bootheng
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it's just the two of us, or that's what we swore
anyone else feeling a little crazy abt them? no? just me? alright
#messy wip i will not finish most likely#dimension 20#d20#mine#fanart#evan kelmp#k tanaka#dream tanaka#tanakelmp#misfits and magic#mismag#mismag 2#misfits and magic 2#i actually havent watched s2e1 but i dont know that i could emotionally handle it after finding out they broke up . lol thats insane isnt i#im not personally mad about it im not the type who will talk shit on the cast's decisions when its their story after all but if i had a#nickel for every time a fan favorite ship that was perfectly stable and wasnt interrupting the story at all got unceremoniously broken up i#between seasons for absolutely no reason i would have three nickels. im looking at donospring trackerbees and tanakelmp of course . shame#but its ok i can just pretend theyre still together as long as i procrastinate on watching mismag 2#im watching the ravening war rn anyway . i just wanted to do this for fun and spite#i love them a normal amount :3#will someone pls notice that evan doesnt have a shadow . hehe
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need more challengers fics where they actually are at least half as toxic as they are in the movie. tashi told art she would leave him if he lost a tennis match and refused to say i love you and cheated on him twice. art got right in the middle of patrick and tashi's relationship didn't speak to patrick for years after and then told him he wasn't even a peer and didn't matter when they finally saw each other again. patrick decided he was going to fuck with both of them by sleeping with tashi and then basically announced this to art mid tennis match. like i know these people would not deal with any of this or any of their other baggage before entering a relationship. can you imagine trying to hardlaunch a throuple that toxic. it's delicious. why do i keep seeing challengers triad fluff. as if art wouldn't think neither of them actually love or even care about him once he retires but would still do anything to keep them from leaving him and patrick wouldn't be insanely dickish and mean because he's desperate to prove he's not just the washed-up tagalong to his situationship's eight-year failmarriage that should have been his and tashi wouldn't be furious with them both for not being happy instantly when she feels like she's given them all she can give and furious with herself for having both of them and it still not being enough. please. these people are HOT but more importantly they are UNWELL.
#it's not that i don't think they'd make an incredible throuple#it's that every time i read a fic where they're functional i'm like. we've skipped a step. they would not be like this.#challengers#fics where they have problems....... yes......... ha ha yes.........#big fan of when everything changes by vokdas rn#like yessss art is incapable of telling them what he needs bc it's too embarrassing to ask to be loved when he can't play tennis for them 😍#i <3 messy ships they are so fun
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I'm gonna be shitting and screaming and starting fights if Sera becomes a villain. I can't take sibling angst, Sera loves Emily I swear guys believe meeee.
#im making a fanfic of two and a half halos and the mc is Emily and it focuses alot on her and sera's dynamic#ill probablg send it here when im done. in 100 years because i havent finished a fic in 20 centuries#hazbin hotel sera#seraphim#hazbin sera#emily hazbin hotel#hazbin emily#hazbin hotel emily#emily seraphim#hazbin hotel#PLEASE DONT MENTION HAND PLACEMENF PLEASE /S#I WAS DRAWINF THIS AT 3 AM AND I KEPT BLACKINF OUT BUT I KNEW ID LOSE MOTIVATION IF I DIDNT FINISH#I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL I WAS DONE SO PLS JST- IDK. JST LOOK AT MY BABIES#i headcanon Sera as trans. for pride month i have the idea of putting every ship and character under their pride flags#sooo sera is gonna be covered with a trans flag and emily... also trans becauze everyone is trans becauze o said so#charlie is ALSO trans because i said so#i came up wit trans sera on my own(idk if it existed be4 but i jst thot of it and got all happy cuz she is so trans idc) but#i freaking love trans emoly and trans charlie so for a bit i felt wrong for hc so many characters as trans#rhen i woke up one day and was loke. yeah idgaf they all trans cuz theres not enoigh#like im not gonna ALAAYS depict them as trans except sera(she is 100% trans to me) i like the other hcs for fun. im so srs for sera i 💜 her#sera just wants to hug her huggable sister sometimes and thats ok! 💜💜#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#*in stupid egg boy voice* i wish Sera would hold ME in her arms... 😔#gave them snouts because i cannot deal with the no noses. it genuinely disturbs me. have yall SEEN velvettes side profile omfg 😨#my babies... i just want them to be happy. why must there be sibling angst... they jst want to do whats right ☹️#im gonna fight to protect Sera from spme of yall fr fr cuz she do not deserve to be SO hated. JST. JST GET TO KNO HER I SWEAR SHE COOL#like i get it. what she doin is wrong. but if you was in her shoes you know you would do the same dont even lieeee 😨
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✨ The wizard and the jester ✨
(ID: Kirby series fanart sketches of Marx and Magolor in humanized form, with some Marxolor shenanigans tossed in for funsies, plus one guest appearance by Kirby. More detailed descriptions in Alt Text. END ID)
Sketches started some time in 2021, finished 10/28/24.
#veins art#veins old art#veins sketches#veins ships#veins fanart#kirby series#kirby#marx kirby#magolor#traitor magolor#gijinka#character designs#description in alt text#magolor x marx#marxolor#my boys <3#I miss them every day#I like drawing their orb forms but man... I forgot how much I loved these designs#can't believe I brought up gijinkas *years* ago and never bothered to post 'em until now... I blame sudden AU thoughts for that haha#will I do anything else with them? eh I mean I'd like to... but no promises they won't be eclipsed by other stuff tho#cha'boy has too many thoughts and not enough hands to realize them ^^'#also fun fact - would you believe that Mags made those arms for Marx? not surprising when you consider he made his own legs as well#eye contact tw#knife tw#body horror tw#<- (for traitor magolor)#veinsfullofstars
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Finally finishing totk
#Totk#Art#Comic#Link#This one gets main blog privileges lololol#Context: I had beat 1 dungeon and promised my buddy not to progress without them. I was just filling out the map and these guys appeared#Totk spoilers in the tags#Okay so here's my totk story because it hurts everyone I tell including myself#First time I played totk I got really fed up with the tutorial. It would just never end.#I got so fed up with it in fact... I never did the story. At all!#My buddy wanted to watch me do the story but we kept missing each other#So I ended up avoiding anything even tangentially related to plot#I never met any characters. Never even knew there were bosses and dungeons. Never entered the castle#And one time my buddy told me there was the awesome boss in the depths I could fight-- a king dragon. Woaaahhh#I made my way over there and was so ready for this epic battle and ended up killing it in 5 seconds. I was too powerful 😂#Keep in mind I did NO DUNGEONS and had grinded up the dynamic difficulty entirely through common enemies to the point of silver lynels#So yeah I stopped playing because I realized I was way too overpowered to start the story#So I started all over again. Finally doing totk the Intended Way™#Uhh... Doing one single dungeon raised the difficulty to the point of black hoglins appearing?? What???#I'm basically rushing every dungeon (I just finished the second one) without preparing at all or doing any shrines#(I killed colgera while dying from cold damage at 4 hearts because I ran out of cold res LMFAO)#So this is really testing my Zelda skillz. It's very fun.#Also. During the first dungeon. I was so obsessed with the kid I almost looked up how I could keep him as my companion#My buddy was so excited for me to find out what the reward was for beating the dungeon 😂😂😂#What else funny... Oh yeah my old save was so jank I never actually got any more than 5 hearts.#Yes I had to defeat lynels mostly hitless since they can kill you despite the mercy quarter heart#I also went to do the first dungeon on the first save and accidentally entered the ship without the child. It TRAPS YOU INSIDE.#It doesn't even give you a warp it just says “die or warp out”. Except I didn't get the shrine halfway up. So I decided to hoverbike out 😓#Oh yeah and it turns out you can ABSOLUTELY get the master sword so so easily.#She flies right past the water dungeon and phases out of existence near immediately it's very funny.
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I just vented out a whole rant about how aromantisim is treated within Hazbin/helluva. I'm not really sure if I should post it for multiple reasons, one of which being I don't want anyone to feel targeted about it or take it the wrong way (like I honestly dont have beef with Al shippers. Gripes, but no beef as I also ship him on occasion).
There was just a sudden burst of frustration I had with it that I think was in part just came from built up frustration from other things. There's things I'd like to have out there, but I don't really think it'd get far or, again, be just taken the wrong way. I don't see a point in posting if people are gonna ignore it, plus it wouldn't change how things are now. If anyone has any thoughts or are curious let me know, but I don't wanna make anyone feel like shit or put a pointless rant out there no one wanted to see. I also wanna keep rants to a minimum as I know people aren't always into that sort of stuff, especially if you don't follow someone for that and you just get an influx of posts of them complaining. And I still want to keep things relatively light hearted around here, at best maybe just some critiques on things here and there.
It's late, I'm on my phone when I should probably just sleep it off, so sleep it off I will.
#i don't know if I wanna tag any ships#I guess I'm just exhausted with a lot of things#I'd love for shippers to read it to get a bit more insight on the topi c#not to stop them from shipping ofc they can have all the fun with it.#The shipping itself has never been the problem for me.#And lately I don’t even think it's the shippers themselves that I take issue with as much anymore#maybe A part I don’t like how aromatisim is swept under the rug#may I reiterate my “how would it feel if the top ships had Angel only in straght ships” example#But I think it's more how the official media and people are with it.#Viv's statement potentially implying “confirming Alastor as aro would ruin peoples fun” isnt cool#makes it seem like being aro is bad#especially since every other character's orientations were confirmed despite them being irrelevant to the plot#I know thats not what she was trying to imply#but it Unforutnately reads that way#and people who aren't comfy with others shipping him are read as uncool I guess#^i like to think thats the loud minority of shippers talking but idk#might delete later#don't need this clogging up the blog or people's dash#rant#aro alastor#hazbin hotel shipping#hazbin ships#hazbin hotel ship#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel critical#vivziepop criticism#vivziepop critical#vivziepop#hazbin hotel criticism#aroace alastor
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I guess the ultimate thing that kills CF for me - or at least nudges it away from me saying I definitively like it - is just how much Edelgard is clearly written with the player in mind before she's written with her character in mind.
Because on all of the other routes, there's a power to Edelgard's presence. Even on BE, there's a sense that for as lonely as Edelgard might be, she still ultimately will do whatever it takes for her to get what she wants. Be that be killing her citizens (or otherwise letting them be killed), endangering her friends, assisting in kidnapping people, allowing Byleth to support her only when they have the Sword of the Creator, covering for TWS - no bar is too low for her to limbo under if doing so means she's even a step closer to her goals.
She's manipulative! She's deceitful! She doesn't care for the lives of her people! Even her friends are forfeit if they try to stand in her way! And this happens no matter how close you, the player, get to her, in the case of BE - C+ ain't stoppin' Remire, and going to the coronation ain't stopping the Holy Tomb.
And in the war phase, she is dominating the field. She has the Kingdom completely on the ropes, down to a few houses standing against Imperial rule, and the Alliance is stuck in neutrality - she may not be able to do much to it, but neither can they do anything to her (to say nothing of the Alliance houses who stand with her). She's far from the underdog in this race, and she shows off how threatening she can be.
CF? Her route?
She scweams at scawy rats. She gets embawwassed when you find her dwawings. She's just so wonewy, and she's just so gwad that you chose her. She somehow fails to capture Rhea, or frame Dimitri for regicide, and so now has to deal with that on the Kingdom's side of the war. But that doesn't stop Elly Welly-kins fwom twying to find her pwecious teacher, because you're just so important to her. She cwies and hugs you when you meet her in the Goddess Tower!! Because she missed you so much!!
It's like... Dimitri and Claude certainly show different sides of themselves on their respective routes. It's the whole point! You grow closer to them and thus see how they treat those close to them, as opposed to being the Kinda Neat Teacher they see run along every now and then. But, like... Claude doesn't become a blushing maiden whenever Byleth speaks with him on VW. Dimitri doesn't scream at scary rats and get called cute for it on AM. They don't get Basic Bitch Gap Moe Traits slapped onto them that are only ever shown to the player and only on their routes. Unlike Edelgard.
Dimitri's endearing trait is that he's this big huge dude who can bench-press forests and arm-wrestle god who still wants to learn to sew and who teaches kids to protect themselves and who buys candies for his friends. Claude's endearing trait is that he's this mastermind planner who has contingency and lie and obfuscation as three separate legal government names who still wants everyone to be safe and happy and hold hands and be friends.
Edelgard is strong, confident, and willing to do some of the shittiest things known to man for her goals. Her endearing trait is that her screams are cute. She's shy about her drawings of the player character. She blushes over the player potentially joking about having sex with her per her JPN version of her C support; you know, the one about how Byleth walks in on Edelgard muttering in her sleep from a nightmare about her tortured family? Perfect time to joke about fucking her! Dimitri and Claude's endearments are, well, endearing; Edelgard's are all straight up embarrassing for her.
Hell, even the smaller stuff is affected! Claude's passion for poisons and mushrooms are things he has no qualms about having others know about, despite how weird they are. Dimitri laughing at shitty jokes brings him no personal discomfort or embarrassment, despite just how loudly he laughs at them. They have traits to them that can easily be uwu worthy, and they don't care! Of the lords, only Edelgard does! Because, it feels like, the only way for a strong, resolute female character to come off as approachable is if she's knocked down a few pegs for specifically and only you, the player.
And that sucks ass! I'm sorry, but when I'm playing Edelgard's route I don't want to deal with her hiding herself away in her room for a month IN THE MIDDLE OF HER FUCKING WAR because she's just so embawwassed! It is so fucking insensitive that Edelgard is literally the only lord of the three who can have her trauma openly belittled at any point in the story by Byleth, all to have some cheap cutesy uwu moment about her fear of rats (calling her screaming in fear cute and INSISTING that it's really cute which is just. Fucking ew man)! Why can we fucking mock Edelgard's manner of speech during the MASSACRE OF REMIRE?
This shit doesn't happen to Claude or Dimitri! And saying "oh just don't pick those options then" is bullshit because no equivalent options exist for the male lords! It's piss-boilingly annoying that the second you choose to see things from the strong confident villainous ambitious female lord's perspective you can reduce her down to this bumbling moeblob just for you (sometimes unavoidably!) like!! Dude!
#legit not even sure what to tag this because for once I'm going to bat for Edelgard LMAO her writing treats her BAD when it comes to this#this is also a huge thing that fucks me off from liking Edel/eth because Byleth can be SUCH a huge fucking dick to her for no reason#and can be UNIQUELY mean to her for no reason. off the cuff i can't think of another character you can have Byleth act like this to#and most of this shit is well before Byleth as a character has any real reason to actively dislike her so they're just.#bullying Edelgard for fun?? I guess??#among uh. other reasons the ship doesn't exactly Work Out lmao#but yeah for CF it really REALLY brings down my ability to enjoy it fully despite me REALLY wanting to#because it encapsulates just how like. shallowly Edelgard can be written?#because it's not just that no character can meaningfully react to everything she's done (though that is a huge factor too)#but also as SOON as the writing wants you to REALLY like her it goes out of its way to diminish her powerful presence and UwU her#and not to say that she doesn't have her powerful moments - she does! and they're really great to see!#but that her cutesy moments stand out SO much BECAUSE the other two lords very noticeably have nothing akin to that for them#like. you can't jokingly call Claude a loser for having no friends growing up due to the racism he faced#you can't pretend to be one of voices Dimitri hears to fuck with him#you straight up CANNOT joke about their trauma which like. duh?? why would you??#but Edelgard just woke up from a horrible nightmare and that's just the perfect setup for a sex joke#and it's perfectly fine to joke about forgetting what Edelgard said about her trauma she opened up to them about cuz ''she said to forget''#and it's a-okay for Byleth to brush off her opening up about why she has a rat phobia to embarrass her over drawing them#WHY CAN YOU DO THIS. or better yet WHY *CAN'T* YOU DO THIS TO THE OTHER TWO.#it is just so brazenly sexist and i hate it every time i think about it 😭
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for the ask game (1)
au where bruce is attracted to his robins and batgirls. he tries not to think about it or act on it, but it's getting more difficult with every new member of his team he acquires. does anyone know? do the robins and batgirls notice his weird behavior? what do they do about it? do they ever find out the truth? who would think it's terrible and who would find it strangely hot/comforting/nice? does bruce ever act on his feelings?
for the ask game!
oh my GOD do i have thoughts for AUs like this, i love this shit so dearly, dirtybadwrong Bruce who's trying to keep a lid on it my beloved.
i think the fun of this AU is if characters would notice Bruce lusting for themselves vs would they notice Bruce lusting for a different Robin/Batgirl. like does Dick pick up on it when it's just him and Bruce? no, because it's just. him and Bruce. he and Bruce are weird and complicated and hold endless bounds of nuance. that's just How Bruce Is, and Dick is the "test run", in a sense. he knows Bruce is new to this whole sidekick/family thing and is giving Bruce grace for being rough around the edges. but when Bruce starts looking at Jason or Tim or Cass that way, that's when Dick starts to notice. it's never enough of a suspicion he feels justified to bring it up, but the thought lingers. he's hyperaware and grows less and less comfortable with leaving them alone with Bruce. it's a weird game of chicken, Dick and Bruce staring each other down when Bruce's touch lingers too long. each waiting for the other to say something first. if Bruce ever broke and actually acted on his feelings, Dick would be eaten alive by the guilt of knowing something was up, but never saying something until it was too late.
obviously, Cass would know. there's no world where Cass *doesn't* know, the nature of who and what she is would immediately clock it. but the issue is, Cass doesn't have a good framework of what family looks like. she doesn't really understand familial vs romantic love bc she has no firsthand experience of what a parent's love should even look like. so she never calls it out. she just watches. i'm a fan of Cass believing this is normal and believing she too can express and act on attraction that's vaguely incestuous. maybe it's with Babs, maybe it's with Dick or Tim or Bruce himself. but she recognizes this as Normal and Accepted within the Batfamily, so it severely fucks up her understanding of familial love and i just. man it's my favorite thing about Cass in Batcest honestly, is how you can play with her lack of experience with love, boundaries, and sexuality.
Tim is the fun one for me. because my favorite flavor of BruTim is when Tim knows, as he agrees to be Robin, that there's a non-zero chance that Bruce is going to be Weird and agrees anyway because he's decided it's an acceptable risk. so Tim knows from the get-go because he's expecting it. if Bruce acts on his attraction, i think it's either with Tim or Cass first, because they're the most likely to confront him about it in a way that isn't entirely negative. Tim has accepted it's a possibility and Cass just seeks being loved and touched so. it leads to the first time someone's ever confronted Bruce about it. and the thing is, Bruce really doesn't like confrontation about his flaws. the first time Tim tries to imply he's okay with it, Bruce would lash out at the idea, tell Tim how inappropriate that is and benches Tim for a week. it'd probably take a united front from Cass and Tim to get Bruce to even *admit* to the attraction. still Bruce wouldn't allow it to happen and he brushes them off until finally, the dam breaks. it's fun if there's a cause like sex pollen, but i think it's *more* fun if it's just. a random fucking Tuesday and finally Bruce is at his limit. he has no real reason, there's nothing particularly different about that day's routine. he just sees Tim or Cass striping armor and sighs and gives in.
i don't think Steph, Jason, or Babs would notice until anything substantial happened. not because they're not wicked smart, but just because none of them were looking for it. Jason put Bruce on a pedestal when he was alive, and when he came back from the dead he wasn't close enough to be noticing Bruce's interpersonal dynamics outside of his narrow scope. Steph has no real framework for what healthy fatherhood looks like, so if Bruce's touches linger, if he stares too long, she just shrugs and assumes it's how it is. and Babs was just never quite close enough to Bruce to notice. if and when she notices, is when actual sexual things start to happen between Cass and Bruce. because Cass would see no reason to hide it. Babs would be pissed, but it'd be tricky to navigate. Cass would be an adult, even if she's only 18/19, so technically, she's old enough to be consenting. if nothing else, Bruce is a careful man. even when he breaks and gives in to his desires, he covers his tracks well. he makes sure he has enthusiastic consent and there's no legal recourse that could be taken. age of consent and all that. there's not much Babs can *do* other than try to tell Cass (and/or Tim) that this isn't normal or okay. not that it gets her anywhere, but god would she try.
by the time Duke comes along (if we venture out of the pre-Flashpoint era) i think it's a sort of. open secret, in the Batfamily. talked about in nothing but hushed whispers and knowing glances. at some point, they've all had sex with Bruce, caving all for different reasons. some more than others. Tim sees it as a duty, Cass sees it as a way of seeking comfort, Steph sees it as getting Bruce's approval for once, etc. it's never forced on them, but eventually, they all come to Bruce sooner or later. and that's the fun irony of it, i think. they try to convince the others not to, but would go to Bruce on their own well. because complicated reasons they can't put into words. sometimes, Bruce is just a messy man who doesn't realize how prized his Attention to for the rest of the Batfamily. that weird duality of not liking him, but also wanting desperately for him to like you. all of them have dealt with it, at some point. so for Duke, it takes a while for him to understand this... whole dynamic. it's Cass who tries to explain it to him, and he's a little horrified, a lot confused. especially when Bruce starts staring at him a little too long as well. i think he'd only want to watch first but well. they all cave eventually.
also fun bonus if we venture into the Dark Knight Returns universe for my bestest girl Carrie Kelley: there's such a like, "i'm fucking around and i'm finding out" vibe to Carrie. like Tim, she's very proactive in just. deciding she's going to be Robin and she's ready for whatever that entails. (IMO canon Carrie is closer to fanon Tim than canon Tim is but *that* deserves its own post-) like she takes one look at the old man that is Batman and goes yup. he's never fucking getting rid of me now. if Bruce started having weird feelings about her, i think she'd have *fun* with it. she's decided she's in it for the long haul and for whatever being Robin means so. she's almost teasing about it, seeing how hard she can push before Bruce snaps. since it's an older, gruffer Bruce, i think he'd express open annoyance at it first, almost a sort of banter about how Carrie behave. but of course he caves and Carrie leans into it, because there's a fun in having all of Bruce's attention to herself. in the main timeline, Bruce is pretty split with so many Robins and Batgirls, but during their era, it's *just* her and him and she's very proud she's got him all to herself.
#bruce fucks/lusts after every batfam member and they all want to protect each other from him#but also they're all going to fuck him anyway bc they're hypocrite and self sacrificial.#necrotic answerings#ask game#brudick#brujay#brutim#brucass#brusteph#brubabs#bruduke#brucarrie#batcest#did i get all the ship names? god i hope so#listen i'm a pre-flashpoint girlie but know i believe there should be more duke in batcest spaces.#let him in on the fun. stop calling him the normal one. let him ALSO be toxic and gay damnit#though trying to figure out their ship name i cackling at the thought of it being bruke or duce. it's so fucking funny to me and idek why#also let carrie into batcest spaces damnit. there's so few bruce/carrie fics you're all uninspired /lh#anyway yeah i'm obsessed with the vibes of#does anyone like bruce? no but his attention. his approval. the things most of the batkids would do for it#i think you could do bruce/helena b with these vibes too#but ngl i got do mad at the batman: brave & the bold show for doing helena dirty by just making her hot for bruce#that i mentally tune that ship out#it's good. it has good potential for daddy issues.#but it just reminds me of how fucking *ass* helena is in that show. they fucked up my bbygirl.#idk why ppl like b:tb&tb so much. i don't think it's good??#is it nostalgia or something? like there's so many other better batman animated shows that can like. write women. idk that's just me#anyway love this concept so dearly <3#bruce who is so fucking bad at love he can't separate familial and romantic love my beloved <3#bruce wayne having *boundaries*? absolutely not in my good catholic batcest home.
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wof fandom when people enjoy fictional toxic relationships because they find them interesting:
#just WHY do you guys think so many people love clearsight and darkstalker's story and there's tons of art about them??????#their relationship is fun to explore due to its inherent tragedy. nobody likes it because they think it's genuinely wholesome#and that's an example of a toxic relationship where one party didn't do anything wrong and tried her hardest to not let it end in tragedy#the ones y'all usually complain about are *checks notes* burn x scarlet and coral x blister......#OF COURSE THEY'D BE FUCKING TOXIC THEY'RE VILLAINS WITH HARDLY REDEEMING QUALITIES OH MY GOD (coral's a villain in my book)#y'all need to watch death note with me or something. the shitshow of toxic relationships in it would be enriching I think#wof#wings of fire#sorry I needed to rant about that. I don't even care about these two ships that much but every time I see someone hate on them for being-#toxic and that alone I roll my eyes so hard that they do a 360 spin inside my skull
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XPRESSO
I want to thank, first of all, @inkblottzz for drawing an fanart of this ship! Thanks to them, I have a favorite ship now! I will make a part two of this, I promise!
Okay, okay, what is xpresso? Simple: it's the ship name for Cross and Ccino— Okay, okay! You can stop booing and throwing tomatoes at me! I KNOW THEY'RE A RARE SHIP, I KNOW! BUT READ MY HEADCANONS FIRST BEFORE YOU START THROWING STONES TOO! (I mean, it's like a headcanon/oneshot/my version of how they met??? Anyway, enjoy!)
Cross met Ccino after Killer insisted a lot and dragged him to FluffyTale's Cat Cafe — with a line about it being a neutral universe that wasn't hostile to outsiders and other details that Cross didn't think were necessary to pay attention to;
What he didn't expect was to keep going back there again and again under the excuse of liking the cats — all just to distract Killer and get him to go to the café with him so Cross could admire the barista from afar.
Of course, Killer wasn't an idiot (he just took advantage of the excuse to play with the kittens), and he soon figured out Cross's scheme — especially since the skeleton never paid attention to the cats, always with his white pupils focused on following Ccino.
“So? Aren’t you going to talk to him?” Killer asked one time.
“ No.” Cross replied so quickly that Killer couldn’t hold back the laugh that came out through his nasal cavity.
For many days, it went on like this: with Cross following Ccino from afar with his gaze, like a dog wanting attention but not knowing how to ask (Killer could swear that Cross's little tail wagged much harder every time Ccino waved in their direction with a friendly greeting);
It got to the point where it was painful to see the two interact only with waves — Cross wouldn’t even place his own order for fear of stuttering in front of Ccino!
No one in the café could stand this tension anymore (especially Killer, who seemed to be the third wheel every time he went to the café!). Tired of it and wanting Cross to finally make some progress, Killer decided to give an ultimatum — of course, without informing Cross first;
“I’m going outside for a bit, stay here and order a hot chocolate for me, okay?”
“Wait, wait! You don’t even like hot chocolate!” But Killer had already left, waving too slowly to be considered friendly.
Surrounded by cats and nervously bouncing his leg under the table, Cross used all his self-control not to run away when Ccino started approaching the table — with a small notepad and a pen in his hand.
Cross actually did pretty well (at least he managed to order a hot chocolate without stuttering too much), despite his skull dripping with sweat and his hands clenched into a trembling fist. He was fine, seriously, everything was going smoothly—
“Alright, I’ll be back with your order, pup!” If Cross wasn't purple before, then his entire skull must have been vibrating in violet now.
Ccino wasn’t much different; the only difference was that his blush was orange. And like Cross, he stuttered as he apologized, saying he didn’t remember Cross's name and that he looked like such an anxious puppy every time they locked eyes.
“It’s Cross!” He might not have needed to almost shout his name, but it was enough for Ccino to smile again, repeating Cross's name as if he were savoring something sweet.
“I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.” And he went back to the counter.
Cross could have died of embarrassment at that moment, but he couldn’t help but notice his own tail wagging happily at this small interaction (Ccino knew his name! And he smiled at him!).
They seemed to have a long journey ahead, but apparently, they had already started off well.
#I'll write something better later#but right now I needed to share my thoughts on them#Cross would definitely retire so he could be with Ccino#and also so he wouldn't have to worry about him every time he came to the cafe injured#Cross' nickname later became “pup”#and Killer couldn't be happier to poke fun at him for it#Xpresso#Cross Sans#Ccino Sans#Cross x Ccino#qinqin headcanons 💖#sans ship#sansshipping#sans ships
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Well THat doesn't seem right....
#pre-sleep STRIKES AGAIN#evry time i make stuff like this i wonder if i should put it under the ship tag or the individ tags#bc i am showing a pattern and it involves mashing kuya and yakumo into a paste (via traditional mortar and pestle)#*turns on the blender* we're having yokai stew today. and tomorrow. and the day after that. and the day after tha#i'm tellin u. if they introduced kuya lookin like kuya but with yaku's personality#i would have impregnated him ON SIGHT#and if they started the game with a kuya-personality yaku-looker i probably would have hated him more than anything in the universe#it gives me.....first love interest in every otoge where he looks like an edgelord in red-black and has control issues over protag#anyway i'm glad you two are the way you are... even if my instinct-to-impreg leads me astray#bc kuya in his purple pink flower motif (boss bitch) and yaku in his edgelord goth n bones aesthetic (too soft to live) is just. fun#yakuya#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival kuya
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[prev]
Looks like Idia found the courage to come COMPLAIN at Jade for taking over last poll.
Jade is following protocol, of course 😌
I think Idia forgot about the mistletoe part, and got a little caught off guard 🫢
[next]
#cereal tries to draw#twst#uhh i have no idea what to tag this one lol#idiajade#whatever close enough lmk if there's a better tag jkfdshklgj#shipping#anyway yayyy we are getting more third years on the scene now 😎#rip to the first years theyre almost completely isolated in my mind palace JKFHDSLKJGH we'll see if we make it to them...#silver/idia gets another chance at life...#but can they overtake... well tbh i have no idea what to expect anymore LOL#also i put riddle here just bc i think it would be Extremely Funny considering how they never get along ever jkflshkljdsklfj#riddle and cater keep ending up on every poll can you tell i Love Them jksfjklshfjk#i might get to the next part a little later bc#well im setting this poll at midnight ajdflskh and ill be visiting family the next few days#ill have my tablet w/me but this one may come a day later#ill probably keep it going past christmas too bc im having fun with it lol#I LIKE DRAWING. SILLIES...#i do need to go to bed tho oops i kinda neglected other things for this TEEHEEEEE anyway#surprise me with your votes.
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new challenge is trying to see if the #aroace alastor tag can go 3 days without discourse
#osrs.txt#(IMPOSSIBLE)#listen I have my own share of complaints too but when it's basically all I see in the tag it gets tiring#I want to see more actual fun stuff especially for a canonical aroace character but???#every time without fail!#ALASTOR SHIPPING DISCOURSE ALASTOR SHIPPING DISCOURSE ALASTOR SHIPPING DISCOURSE#can people stop fighting each other and just make content#I would do more myself but I don't always have fresh ideas#sorry for the rant post#as usual asks I will get to you later
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