#they won't click back the same way they were before the war | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

devilfic · 6 months ago

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❝right place, right time❞

VIII. whatever keeps you around.

parts: previously / next plot: bruce has a proposal for you. pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x gn!reader. cw: surgeon!reader, secret identities, slow burn, brief discussion of slight suicidal ideation/martyrdom, drug (and the injection of drugs) mentions, you will not guess what trope I managed to include in here. words: 6.9k. a/n: plotting this series makes me feel like charlie day pointing at a wall of red string

“…You won’t like it.”

It's clear what you have to do. You'd realized it when Gordon came to you, so of course Bruce did too. If you were going to make this right, you would have to face this head on. "I know what I have to do," you start, "I need to lure him out."

Bruce's expression shifts. Whatever you've said seems to be the wrong answer, "That... won't be necessary."

"What? What else can I do?"

"What did Gordon tell you about Dimitri?"

Your head throbs as you recall the memory, "Uh... he said he believes I'm next on Dimitri's hit list. He also said Dimitri hadn't anticipated me being at the house."

"Right, because Russo didn't want anyone knowing where he was." Bruce turns to his computer and brings up Russo's file, "After his divorce and the death of his son, he holed up and started erasing himself from the internet. As far as his neighbors know, he was constantly alone. You already know how hard it was to find him on your own, and unless Dimitri knew someone keeping tabs, it doesn't stand to reason that he found him any easier. But you, on the other hand," Bruce opens a search engine and types in your name. You're unsettled when the screen fills with results, most of them news articles from the night you'd been held hostage, "your name and face was everywhere after the gang war."

When the reporters had shoved cameras in your face and begged for you to tell them about Batman's heroic rescue, you hadn't thought twice about it, still fresh from the throes of gore and violence in the ER. Friends, family, coworkers: almost everyone you knew had seen it.

It clicks for you then, "If Dimitri planned on killing us both and I was easiest to find, why didn't he come for me first? I mean... it was me and Alex who ruined his life. If he wanted anyone dead more, wouldn't it be me?"

"I wondered the same thing. With the know-how and the right connections, anyone could find where you live just by name alone. Russo, on the other hand, is almost anonymous. It doesn't make sense why Dimitri would target Russo first."

"Do you think maybe it was a warning? Maybe he wanted to scare me."

"If he wanted to warn you, he wouldn't kill the guy in his house where no one checks up on him. Days would've passed before anyone noticed the flies in the windows."

"I don't get it."

"Do you remember how long it's been since you were taken hostage?"

Your mind lands on a weak estimate, "I don't know, a week and a half?"

"It's been over two weeks. According to the wardens, Dimitri stopped being a problem for them after the first few years. Friends with a rough crowd but he rarely got caught up in anything. Didn't have the heart to. So why, after 17 years, does he break out?"

Your stomach drops, "He saw me."

"And realized that while he was rotting away with nothing to live for, you were a hero," the word sickens you to hear, "on the front lines, saving lives, being saved. Your life went back to normal."

You grip the side of Bruce's desk with the sudden urge to vomit up everything you'd eaten today, which, frankly, wouldn't add up to much more than water and crackers.

You'd said it yourself: you'd gotten to live a life that Natalie, Dimitri, and Alex never would. Of course he wanted you dead. "So then I have to lure him out."

"And put yourself in danger? No."

"I’m already in danger, Bruce. What if he goes after the others? My parents? My coworkers? The other cops at the shootout? We have to end it now."

"This isn't the only way."

"It's the best way."

"Last time he had a knife, you could defend yourself. Barely. What if next time, he has a gun?"

"So what, you just want to do nothing?"

Bruce turns away from you. He gnaws on his lower lip, "No, I want to bide our time. Look into him more. I need to know if he's working with the Vipers again."

You watch him as he begins typing away at his computer, but you can't process what he's looking for through the haze of anger that washes over you. You lean on the desk, craning your neck up at his face to make him look at you, to understand how ridiculous he sounds, "We don't have time for that. His grudge is with me. I should meet him now and end this... either he gets what he wants or- or..."

Or what? Your stubbornness peters out. You don't know what. You see yourself standing face-to-face with Dimitri, his knife raised, ready to bury itself into the cushion of your chest. And nothing.

The you in this vision has no weapon.

"You don't think you're going to survive this." Coming out of your mind, Bruce is now looking at you, brows furrowed. He looks... mortified.

You scramble to cover your tracks, "That's not true. I'd have you there."

"But you don't want me there. You want to go alone. You think you deserve it."

"God, what are you? My therapist?" Your words flit out of your mouth in a rush, tongue nearly slipping up to defend yourself. You push away from the desk when you start feeling overexposed.

Bruce follows you, "You're not 16 anymore, this isn't some gang fight where you throw all your chips in because you can't see a year ahead of you. You've made a life. You've got people to lose, you said so yourself. I know what it's like... the survivor's guilt. You relive that day over and over-"

His words are making you feel sick to your stomach again and you lurch forward, finger in his face, "Don't you fucking preach to me-"

Almost as immediately as you'd raised your finger, Bruce snatches your wrist in his hand, yanking you close enough to be imposing, staring down at you with the same power that the Batman had used. It was so sudden that you quickly fall slack, wrist going limp in his grip.

It had completely sobered you of your tantrum, and for better or for worse, you were forced to listen to him, "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and think. You see this ending with you dead because you want to make up for the shit you did. You think that's what Alex wants? For you to bleed out in an alley like she did?" And just like that, the fire roars in you once more, but your other hand can't slap him across the face before he's caught that one too, "No future? What about all the people you've saved? Could still save? Face it now because you may not get another chance: you're alive. Do you want to be or not?"

You want to hurt him, turn his skin red and give it a place among the other bruises that glitter and glare down his torso, and as your hand shakes in his hold, you are forced to understand that you are angry because he is right.

You'd felt this same anger before. When your parents told you Alex was a bad influence on you. When Russo looked you in the eye and told you that you didn't have it in you to pull the trigger. It was maddening. He had clocked your suicide mission before even you had, had seen you in his mind's eye the way you saw yourself: disarmed, a lamb to the slaughter, a sacrifice for the greater good, a speedbump.

You could see Batman tackling him to the ground over your dying body. You couldn't see yourself getting up the next day.

After the frustration leaves Bruce's eyes, he's looking at you with something softer. You feel known, uncomfortably so, as he waits for you to meet him there.

And when you do, you hate how you collapse into him. Even more, you hate that he takes you up into his arms, holding you steadfast, as understanding as you needed him to be with all your fear of admitting it. The solidness of his body reminds you of the night he'd first held you, and that just makes you cry harder.

It feels different from last time. Where there was armor is now warm skin, the likes of which you hadn't felt in a while. If you had told your past self you'd one day be standing in Batman's cave, hugging Bruce Wayne and crying over the permanence of your mistakes, you might have diagnosed yourself with head trauma.

You screw your eyes shut in a vain attempt to put the tears to rest, your freed hands practically clawing at Bruce's warm back for some purchase, some stability. He doesn't seem to mind. He just holds you closer.

After a few minutes, you force yourself to speak, sniffling away the last remaining tears you'd allow yourself to shed, "You said I wouldn't like it. Your plan. What is it?"

"To disappear."

You wrench yourself back. Bruce is dead serious. "What?"

"I've considered it from all angles-"

"What do you mean, 'disappear'?"

"All but one of the prisoners Dimitri broke out with are still missing. How do we know they're not all working together? How do we know that you luring him out won't draw them out too? You were the easiest target before, not anymore."

"Say what you mean, Bruce. What do you want me to do?"

"I want to hide you here," he winces as he says this, as if aware of his words only now that they're out in the open, "with me."

"You're shitting me."

After a while, Bruce's face hardens, "I told you you wouldn't like it."

Liking it or not liking it was nothing. You'd advanced past "like". You were firmly out of your depth here.

You slip out of Bruce's hold and he lets you, standing rather awkwardly as you rub a hand across your mouth. Despite earlier, it now feels uncomfortably dry. You glance at Bruce and then at his screen, the tab with your name and face plastered all over it hovering in the background. "You want me to disappear off the face of the earth while you track him down. Leave my home, leave the people I care about, abandon my job. You want me to hide."

"I don't know how else to protect you. Not until we figure out what we're up against." Bruce watches you spin away, scoffing into the air, "You noticed it when you fought him off, didn't you? Something was really wrong with him."

You see flashes of Dimitri's feral stare, the way he staggered and swung. He was like a rabid animal in a cage. "Of course there was, he was trying to kill me."

"Beyond that," Bruce insists, "he wasn't right. I've seen it before. He was on something."

"Most people are these days. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd... I don't know, gotten his hands on drops or something-"

"It wasn't drops. Gordon told me."

"The detective?"

"He said they found a syringe with traces of venom in it. Dimitri's shooting up. That's why he was so strong."

Your mouth drops open in disbelief, "Venom? Great. Somehow worse than Drops."

"If he's on that drug, he's definitely addicted. It also means you won't stand a chance against him. This is why I'm telling you to stay here," Bruce steps forward, eyes imploring yours. You're dumbstruck by the heavy earnestness there, "stay in the tower. Hide here for a few days. Let me handle this."

"If he's on venom, it means he doesn't think he can handle you on his own," you wring your hands, flitting through images of the Dimitri you remember, "he was always really small. Even at fourteen, he hadn't really sprung up. He was scrawny and small and couldn't defend himself. Suddenly Gordon's saying he's almost twice the size of what I remember. Have you ever fought someone on venom?"

"Once or twice, somewhere between fixes. Why?"

"General has this kind of... sedative that we use when we get patients dealing with the effects. It's not perfect, but it does help calm them down enough to help them. Maybe we can use it to help him."

"The strain is constantly changing," Bruce watches you deflate and clears his throat, "but if I can get that sedative, I can use it as a base to make a new one."

"You need clearance to get your hands on that stuff. I'm going with you."

"What part of disappear do you not understand?"

"One, I never agreed to do that, and two, if Batman gets caught stealing from a hospital, that'll make you public enemy number one. You need my help, so let me help you."

Bruce is looking away, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth even as you zero in on him. You're getting flashbacks of that same Bruce from when you'd first met him here in this tower. All tender-eyed, even as he tries to put on a face for you, "And I need a drink," you rub your temple next, catching a glimpse of Bruce watching you from his peripheral, "You've got those, don't you?"

It turns out Bruce has plenty. There's a whole cellar full of them, the kinds you see in MTV Cribs with the low recessed lighting and mahogany shelves gleaming with polish. It makes sense for him to have it, but less so when he tells you he doesn't actually drink any of it.

"You weren't drinking at the party, either. Even though everyone else thought you were." You brush your hand along the shelves, careful not to knock any bottles loose. "Is that a trick to keep people spilling secrets? Or to keep from spilling your own?"

Bruce hovers near the entrance with his arms folded and back pressed to the wall, carefully watching you peruse his selection, "Maybe I don't like the taste."

"That's good. Men in Gotham die from alcoholism at a higher rate than any other city in the state."

"Really?"

"Really. You don't smoke either." Bruce blinks at you, "Just get shot at. And stabbed."

He says nothing.

Your hand lands on a red aged older than your mother and you stand to the side, looking expectantly at him. You're afraid that if you try to pick it up, you might knock down the whole row.

Slowly, Bruce pushes himself off the wall and glides over to you, grabbing the neck of the bottle in one hand and looking to you for approval. You try not to shrink yourself when you nod.

You follow him out of the cellar, flinching when the lights dim behind you and the door rolls shut all on its own. He guides you to the kitchen where night still hangs over Gotham outside the window, but the time on the stove clock warns of early morning soon.

Bruce pulls out two glasses and fills yours with wine and his with cranberry juice from the fridge. You could almost laugh at the pairing.

Once he slides your glass to you, you take a seat at the island and take a sip, "I need to ask you something. I get now why you refused me at the station, but then you came back. Why did you change your mind? I mean, neither of us knew Russo would be dead when we got there. Were you just going to let me hate you?"

"Yes." His simple response draws a quick, stifled laugh out of you.

"Are you always this... chaotic?"

Bruce leans his elbows on the countertop, hunching in on himself, "I always meant to tell you who I was. I just didn't know when. And I didn't mind if you hated Bruce Wayne, but... you trusted Batman. I didn't want to break that trust. Even if it meant telling you earlier than I planned, I wanted to give you some closure."

You think about the fear that had paralyzed you back then, thinking that Bruce Wayne was some big, bad criminal hiding behind polite society. Then you think about the real man, hiding behind a mask. You fidget uncomfortably, struggling with feeling somewhere between grateful and nauseous. Your eyes catch the stitches on his shoulder and you itch to wipe away the dried blood that had dribbled from the cut, "You said you were looking for Dimitri when you got that. Did you..."

Bruce catches your eye when you fail to finish your question. "No," he answers solemnly, "which is only part of our problem." He stands to his full height, flexing bruised knuckles against the counter, "I ran into one of the guys that broke out with Dimitri tonight. That's who gave me this. Dimitri isn't working alone."

You frown, "Is he trying to shake you? Why leave clues at all?"

"Because these people want me dead. The guy from tonight? I booked him a year ago for trafficking women. Earlier led me to a fringe group of Falcone's."

"You've been looking for Dimitri all day?"

"I haven't stopped since we found Russo. I couldn't."

You rub your arms, feeling the room grow chiller by the second, "So... so he's leaving clues to people who hate you. To keep you occupied." Bruce nods. "So he can get to me?"

"After last night, he knows the Batman is on your side."

"Dimitri wasn't out when you got on the scene. Do you think maybe he's taking venom because these guys warned him about you?"

Bruce smirks, rolling his eyes as he takes a sip from his glass, "As a precaution, sure. And now he has reason to believe I know you. If he's going to go after you, he's going to shoot up each time."

"That stuff is nasty. You're big and scary when you're on it but as soon as the effects wear off-"

"You deflate like a balloon. It's also stupid expensive, so he's either got real generous prison pals or he's being used. It's why I need to know if he's working with the Vipers. They might be supplying him."

How you'd gone from an ordinary surgeon to a detective in the span of mere weeks was beyond you. You're beyond just treading water. You're diving into the abyss.

Your brain struggles to make real what is before you. Bruce, still shirtless, drinking delicately from a glass as he watches the night sky shimmer from the kitchen window. And you, sitting across from him, cracking open one of his family's expensive bottles that, frankly, puts your pantry vinos to shame. Playing vigilantes like schoolchildren. Except the blood on you both is very real.

Your arm throbs at being remembered for once tonight. Bruce notices you touch it, "You need to get some rest."

You know he's right, and you're not arguing for the sake of arguing when you say, "I can't sleep yet." But he can tell there's more on your mind as he waits silently, almost egging you on to lay yourself bare. You swear you're not arguing just for the sake of arguing, "And I don't want to disappear. I want to be alive."

Bruce says nothing. The silence isn't humiliating like you'd think it be, even if the first few seconds leave you feeling just as laid bare as you thought you would. No. It feels acknowledging. Understanding, even.

For the first time, you look at Bruce and feel like you understand him. If he was really Batman, then he would know better than anyone why you would want to put yourself in danger. But beneath that, with the meager knowledge of who Bruce Wayne is, you also think you understand him too.

He'd mentioned the survivor's guilt. While he'd played a much more innocent role in the whole ordeal, you couldn't imagine the weight on one's chest knowing that two people you love didn't get to go on but you did. It's a lot to ask of a child barely coming to understand the mortality of one's own keepers.

The choice to be alive for someone like that is a deliberate choice. Constantly made every morning.

"There is another way," Bruce muses, "but you'll like it even less."

"Don't leave me hanging."

"We could go public."

"What?"

"You said disappearing would mean abandoning your life. And it would. No one could know where you went, who you were with, but there's always the chance someone might slip up. It's the safest option but it's not what you want. So don't hide." Bruce's eye contact is deep and unwavering. Compared to earlier, he seems to trust you're willing to listen this time, "Be mine."

For the nth time tonight, you are rendered nearly speechless. Nearly. "Are you fucking with me?"

Bruce's eyes narrow, "No."

"Did you just... proposition me?"

"I made a proposal."

"You're asking me to date you."

"Publicly. Batman has more enemies than allies, but Bruce Wayne has the people. If you and I are publicly linked, it tells everyone looking for you that the world is watching. It makes you more visible, as well as anyone who comes after you."

"You haven't slept," you reason, "clearly. And you're delirious."

"I haven't slept, no." But he looks fairly sober for someone who hasn't slept in a day. He is a different breed, this Bruce Wayne.

You peer out the kitchen window and see the black sky dipping into a blue horizon, "Then sleep on it and come up with something better."

Bruce rounds the island until he's standing beside you, looking down at your barely touched wine, "There's some spare rooms upstairs. You can take your pick." It dawns on you that you may not be going back home any time soon. "You know your way around."

You suppose you deserve that dig.

Then he's leaving you, glasses abandoned, home for you to explore. You don't realize how thick the air had gotten with him right next to you until he's gone.

You half-expect Alfred to pop up somewhere nearby, but there's nothing. This far up, there is no city to listen for, no neighbors slamming doors. You are in a cold house all alone. You suddenly wish he'd stayed to keep you company, even if the weight of it was beginning to take its toll on you. Left alone, you only had the sunrise.

You watch until the sky has all but chased the night away, and then you head upstairs.

You didn't think you'd get much sleep in a stranger's bed, but you're being roused by a sharp, successive rapping at your door several hours later. It jolts you awake, kick-starting your heart, and you clumsily tumble out of the million thread count sheets to open the door.

Alfred stands there fully dressed for the day, one hand tucked in his pocket and the other still raised to knock. Upon seeing you, he lowers his fist, "Morning," he starts, looking away as soon as he meets your eyes, "breakfast is ready. Come get it before it's cold."

He does not give you a choice in the matter. He's already limping toward the staircase without another word.

After you get your heart to settle down, you follow after him, preening yourself as you pass hallway mirrors and portraits of the Wayne family through the generations. You hadn't come down this hallway when you'd found the terminus elevator, so you stumble to a stop in front of a portrait of a young Bruce grinning ear to ear.

It startles you. His eyes are soft, a gentle humming blue untouched by wrinkle or darkness. He must've been especially young here. Glancing at a nearby portrait of his parents, you find him the spitting image of his father. You look around and realize there are no portraits of Bruce at this age.

Bruce. He might be at breakfast, and the mere thought of having to discuss what occurred last night almost turns you right back around to the guest room, but your stomach rumbling begs you not to. You still walk quietly, peering around corners in case your stomach changed its mind.

You find you're cautious for naught when the only person standing in the kitchen is Alfred, chopping up fresh fruit.

"I hope you don't mind that I moved your things," he gestures with his paring knife to your surgical tools neatly congregated on the counter, "I cleaned them too."

"Oh. You didn't need to do that."

"There was blood, so I'm afraid I did." Alfred places a bit of pressure on "blood", and you quickly take note of his short tone.

Still, all the same, he then gestures to the island and implores you take a seat in front of an empty plate. Without asking, he begins pushing steaming hot food onto your plate, "Tea or coffee?" He asks, barely looking up at you.

"Uh, coffee is fine. Thanks." You watch Alfred pour you a mug and wonder if the awkwardness with him is any more preferable to the awkwardness with Bruce. Alfred is passive-aggressive, Bruce is... aggressive. You remember how the latter had left off your night together and find yourself feeling warmer toward Alfred. "How long have you been up?"

"Since 6, although I woke a few times through the night."

You wince, "Sorry."

"No need to apologize. I did think Bruce had invited you over under different circumstances, so... not as alarming, all things considered." Your grip on your fork slips and it clatters to the marble. Alfred barely reacts.

"He needed stitches." Is all you can get out.

"Yes, I'm well aware."

You glance up at him, "You saw?"

"When he first arrived home, yes. I was the one who helped stop the bleeding."

You stare at the coffee sweating in your cup, recalling something Bruce had mentioned last night, "Bruce said you were the one who used to stitch him up."

"Yes."

"If you were there, why-"

"It's what he pays you for, isn't it?" Alfred almost snaps back at you, slicing a strawberry into quarters with more edge than needed.

You recall something else next. The softness in Alfred's face the day you first came here, arguing with Bruce in the very room next door. You'd wondered what it had all been about.

"I've done alright, haven't I?"

"He said something else too," you start, careful as you choose your next words, "about how much you worry about him." You fiddle with your mug, pretending not to feel the heat of Alfred's eyes on you, "I think the reason he hired me is because he was worried about you."

You just catch the tail-end of Alfred's frown, "Worried about me? Why?"

You probably aren't close enough to either of these two to laugh about this, but you do anyway, "Isn't it kind of obvious?"

"Nonsense. We always discussed... if it would come to it, that if he were to pursue this life further, that he would recruit professionals who might aid him in his work. It was the natural thing to do."

"Maybe, yeah. But would he have really needed me if you weren't already doing everything else for him? You've taken good care of him this long. I mean, the aftercare you gave his bullet wound was exceptional. I accused him of talking to other doctors."

Alfred busies himself with scraping his strawberry halves into a bowl, "It's basic knowledge. You learn that kind of thing in the service."

"Or when you invited me to watch you two spar. You know his body probably better than he does. You're fantastic, Alfred." You couldn't say you weren't also trying to butter him up to better his feelings toward you, but you were speaking truth all the same.

In a very British way, he rebuts your compliments and spoons some fruit into a glass, beginning to layer some yogurt over top them, "Regardless of reason, you are here now, and I'll have you know that every part of your contract covers this. Wayne Enterprises will exhaust every possible legal tool at our leisure if you speak of any—any—of this to anyone. Master Bruce's identity is safely guarded, and regardless of his trust in you, I will not hesitate-"

"Whoa, whoa, hey. I would never tell anyone. Not after all Batman has done for me." You press a hand over your heart for emphasis, "He is just as much my patient as Bruce Wayne is, and he didn't have to pay me to take care of him."

Alfred still stares you down like a guard dog, paring knife still clutched in his fingers. After a moment, he looks away from you and points at your plate, "Eat. It's getting cold."

So you do. It's good so you say as much, counting any point toward his affection as a good thing. If you could get Alfred to trust you, you'd call that a win.

The tension in the air dissipates over time, and after you've licked your plate clean, you and Alfred are sharing coffee together. "Bruce isn't joining us?"

"I've stopped expecting him to be awake this early." You glance at the clock that reads 10:12. "He has adopted a near-fully nocturnal lifestyle."

"The night that he crawled through my window, he was there at the hospital the next morning like nothing happened. He doesn't do that often?"

"Before last year, it was a rare occurrence. While he's dedicated himself to his role more recently, if he can avoid it, he will."

You think back to what knowledge you do have on Bruce's charity work and his friendship with the Mayor. You'd worked shifts just as long, but you couldn't imagine showing up to work mere hours after getting shot in the stomach and having to put on a brave face about it. You almost feel bad for calling him out on it in front of everyone.

But then again, if you hadn't, would you even be sitting here?

You swirl the last vestiges of coffee in your cup, trying to picture a world in which you'd gone and found that empty office to nap in instead of toddling behind Rudy and Em and Alfred and Batman. The Batman.

The novelty of it brings a fresh wave of dizziness over you. You had been exposed to so much information over the course of the last 12 hours that it hadn't fully settled in on you what Bruce was. You didn't think that your brain would process it even if he was standing in cowl and cape right in front of you.

"I suppose you'll be staying with us for the near future, if Bruce has anything to say about it," Alfred stands from his chair beside you and puts your dishes in the sink, "shall I inform your security detail or would you like to?"

You don't know what to say to that. "I'm... I think I should talk this over with Bruce first. It may not need to come to that."

The butler shrugs. "I'll be attending to some house duties for the rest of the morning. Should you stay for lunch, let Dory know, hm?" You give him a weak nod and watch as he makes his way from the sink and heads down another hallway out of sight.

Not too long after Alfred leaves you, you hear the doorbell ring. Bruce hadn't mentioned to you that any guests would be here today, but then again, the two of you had had more important things to discuss last night. You check your reflection in the glass of the kitchen window, wondering if there were any hidden doors in the bookcases that could hide you from whatever Wayne Enterprises exec that was coming to talk business, but you wouldn't trust yourself not to break something in the process.

You hear two pairs of footsteps approaching from the elevator and turn to see who it might be. You first recognize Dory, fluttering between frantic small talk and making sure not to trip in her kitten heels as she guides her guest into the living room. You stiffen as soon as you see him.

Detective Gordon catches your eyes instantly, his own widening. Dory says something about going to fetch Bruce before she quickly ascends the stairs, leaving you and James staring at each other across the distance. In one hand is a notepad and pencil, and the other fixes his tie, almost as if at a loss for words. He greets you, hesitantly leaving where Dory had left him to approach you, "I saw the boys out front but... I didn't expect to see you here."

"Me neither." You reply. "Is everything okay?"

James glances up at the stairs as he passes underneath, "That depends. I followed up on your request."

Shit. Of course a cop would do their job when you least expect it. You slip out of your chair and rush to meet him halfway into the kitchen, "Did... did you find something?"

"I can't say much right now. I'd like to talk to Mr. Wayne, but-" The sound of Dory's heels clacking against the wooden stairs makes James lower his voice, "-you being here complicates things."

Bruce is wearing a shirt this time, thankfully, though you're not expecting him to look as put together this early after what Alfred had said. He towers behind Dory's much smaller frame in a pair of loose black pants and a matching turtleneck, looking in a fashionable state of undress as he pads barefoot into the room. With hair slicked back and stubble freshly shaved, he doesn't look like someone caught unaware. He's fixing the sleeve of his sweater when he extends a hand to Detective Gordon, bright smile and all, "Detective James Gordon, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Mr. Wayne, I'm sorry for dropping in unannounced. If this is a bad time, I can come back." James gestures to you.

Bruce's look at you is empty, devoid of any detectable emotion or thought. It strikes you as unsettling, the same way a cashier at the end of their shift isn't really looking at you, "Oh, no. I was just on my way to work when I felt unwell. I called my doctor over but it was nothing to worry about. A little stomach bug, is all."

You do look like you'd just come over in a rush. You're still in your lounge clothes from the night before, and your medical supplies are still in the kitchen where Alfred had left them. James seems to notice, but he doesn't look any more relaxed. "That's good to hear. I don't want to keep you too long, but truth is, I have some questions I'd like to ask you if you have the time."

"Is something wrong?" James glances between you and Bruce, something the latter doesn't miss, "is it sensitive?"

"It's about the party you threw here the other night, Mr. Wayne. For Mayor Reál. I hear you invited quite a few Gotham politicians to celebrate the passing of the mayor's new bill, correct?"

"That's correct."

"And I understand you're quite invested in Gotham politics in general, much like your father."

"I am. My mother and father were very interested in the city, and Mayor Reál breathed new life into that for me after the election. I do what I can to support the cause."

"And that cause is...?"

Bruce takes the skeptical tone on the chin, smiling wider, "A safer, fairer Gotham. For everyone."

This Bruce was nothing like the Bruce you had all to yourself. He taps into that persona from the party with ease. Watching him is like watching a performance. "That's good, good. I notice you try to make an effort with charities in the city, donations and the like. You recently donated a new wing to Gotham General."

"I did. Increasing access to medical care for the citizens is important to me. My doctor, a talented surgeon at General, knows this well." You flash a timid smile when both Bruce and James look to you.

"And you also financially support politicians in Gotham."

"Occasionally. Anyone I feel has Gotham's best interests in mind."

"And have you found members of Gotham's political parties to be unusually forward in requesting your support, Mr. Wayne? Perhaps a little too pushy, maybe."

Bruce wears confusion well, "Not necessarily. I'm not easily pressured into doing things I have no interest in."

"Of course. How about any attempts to win over your support? Publicly or otherwise."

"I'm not sure what you're asking, detective. I'd love to help, but I don't think I have the information you're looking for."

James nods, holding his chin high, "My apologies. I should've been clear from the beginning. My question is: have any politicians or members of law enforcement offered you anything in exchange for your financial or public support? I have reason to believe there may be someone with high clearance exchanging confidential information with civilians. Especially ones who can pay. I'm just looking for a lead."

James frames his question well, even though any fat cat familiar with the cops could see the hidden question. Bruce frowns, tilts his head, shaking it slowly, "That's awful. I don't currently know of anyone doing such a thing, to me or anyone else. But I can keep an eye out. I can only imagine how dangerous that might be."

"Exactly. We'd like to nip it in the bud as soon as possible."

"Of course. Do you have a card? Perhaps I can contact you if I hear anything."

James fishes out his card and hands it over, "I don't want to put you in a bad position, only pass along what you know if you feel safe enough to do so."

You notice Bruce is flicking the business card between his fingers as a fidget, though he keeps his attention respectfully on the detective. "Absolutely. Thank you, detective. Dory can show you to the door."

The detective nods and follows Dory out of the room. As soon as the two are out of earshot, Bruce's expression softens as he presses his back into the counter. You wish you could sink into the floor. "To be fair," you begin, "I didn't think he'd find anything."

Bruce side-eyes you, "That was you?"

"I thought my criminal boss was going to blackmail me to keep his secrets."

"Criminal boss." You think he's trying to mock you, but his eyes are surprisingly guilty when he looks at you, "Alfred wasn't kidding. I really didn't handle this well."

"No, not really." You don't mean to kick him while he's down, but you can't lie either. Even now, you were still making meaning out of this whole thing.

By all means, you've gone from knowing nothing about him, to understanding even less, to fearing him, to this. With Batman on the other hand, you'd felt nothing but loyalty and trust in him up until the very last second. Now they were both the same person, and the meager hours of sleep you'd gotten hadn't cleared all that up just yet.

You wonder who you're supposed to see now. Batman or Bruce Wayne? Why was the line separating them blurring the more you thought of them?

"So, did you ever come up with a better idea?"

Bruce does not offer one. You'd dreaded that.

"You already know what I think. No matter how we go about this, there's going to be something. So what do you want to do?" Bruce's eyes follow your ever minute expression, laser-focused on you. "Whatever you choose, I will keep you safe. I promise you."

He feels so staunchly Batman in this moment, even with the soft voice of Bruce, watching over you. Through all your uncertainty, this you believe him on.

And you're exhausted, you find. Your arm is beginning to throb again. You crave the reprieve of a bed but not your own, to your surprise.

"I'm going to trust you, Bruce," your voice wobbles as you say it out loud, "I'm going to trust you like I trust Batman."

Bruce holds eye contact with you for a few moments, "Okay."

"Can I ask... why are you dressed so nice?"

"We're going to get the sedative."

"You're going as Bruce?"

"It's the middle of the day. Yes, I'm going as Bruce. I'm not letting you out of my sight."

You fluster, suddenly reconsidering this entire plan. You'd pictured Batman skulking on the rooftop while you Mission Impossible'd your way into the medicine cabinets for what you needed. Walking in with him—the real him—would draw attention you didn't need, "You're only going to make me look suspicious."

"I'm your patient, and more importantly, I'm a donor."

"You will stick out like a sore thumb."

"That means when people are looking at me, they're not looking at you." You open your mouth to argue but he's already cutting you off, "Do you want me to drop you off at your place or do you want me to send someone to get your things?"

You're aware of what he's really asking.

You heave a sigh, "Drop me off. I can't promise Judith won't hurt someone if she finds a stranger in my house."

a/n: mj stop having the reader move in with bruce when their life is put in imminent danger challenge impossible

#bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne scenarios #bruce wayne fic #bruce wayne #batman x reader #batman scenarios #batman fic #batman angst #batman fluff #the batman #battinson x reader #battinson #dc #mjwrites #bw; rprt

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oo-delallymrcrow · 7 months ago

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Ride A Cowboy

A/N: Hii idk if you take requests or even write smut but if you do could i request pre war coop teaching the reader some cowboy stuff like maybe how to ride a horse or lasso tricks. While hes teachinf her he cant take his eyes of her body and how cute she looks when shes focused. Then He like pulls her into a barn or something then teaches her how to ride a cowboy 🤭

This was my first request, and I was so excitied about it that I immediately got to writing! I hope this lives up to your expectations, anon!

18+ no minors

In the studio's corral, Y/N watched as Cooper trotted around with Sugarfoot. She watched in amazement as he maneuvered her around barrels. Jumping over a few planks. He was a natural as he slowed and came to a stop in front of her. He gave her a sly smirk and a wink as he tipped his cowboy hat to her.

“We'll howdy darling. Is there anything this ol’ cowboy can help you with?”

Y/N laughed as she shook her head at him. She felt warm as her cheeks went red and she looked down. She's always had a crush on the moviestar and it didn't help when he acted just like his on screen character.

“Oh nothing I was just admiring you on Sugarfoot.”

She always admired the grace and freedom of horseback riding but had never dared to try it herself. He smiled down warmly at her as he patted the side of Sugarfoots neck.

“Well, how about you hop on up and I'll take you around the corral.”

“Oh, I don't know,” she drawled out as he get down and stood before her. Y/N’s gaze fluttered around his face as he took a step closer.

“You know I won't let anything happen to you sweetheart.”

The way his voice got low as he leaned into her made her shiver and bite her lip. His eyes dropped down to her lips before looking back at her gaze with a grin. He reached down to grab her hand.

“Now,” he turned and tugged her along as he stopped next to Sugarfoot. “Let's get you riding.”

Nervously, Y/N let Cooper maneuver her infront of him. He let her pet Sugarfoot to calm her nerves as he murmured. “Good girl. You're being so good for me.”

Y/N swallowed as her eyes got wide. Surely he was talking to the horse. She shook her head and let out a nervous laugh, of course he was talking to the horse.

“You alright sweetheart?”

“Fine just fine,” she murmured but jumped as his hands settled on her hips.

“Whoa, easy there girl,” he chuckled, his breath hitting her ear at how close he was to her. “Just gonna help you up here.”

With patience and guidance, Cooper helped Y/N mount the horse. She reached up to grab the saddle and Cooper helped guide her foot into the stirrup. She let out a squeak as his other hand was placed on her ass to help push her up and swing her leg over. He chuckled and glanced up as she stared down at him.

“Sorry about that sweetheart,” he winked at her and grabbed the reins. He handed them to her and she grabbed them with shaky hands. He grabbed the reins where they were hanging down and looked up at her with a smile. “Ready?”

She smiled and nodded with a shaky breath, “ready.”

He smiled and clicked tongue, tugging the reins to make Sugarfoot start walking. Cooper walked alongside them, offering gentle words of encouragement.

"Keep your heels down and your posture straight," he instructed. "You're doing great sweetheart."

As they circled the corral, Y/N's confidence began to grow. With each passing moment, she felt more at one with Sugarfoot, the rhythmic movement of the horse beneath her soothing her nerves.

After what felt like hours but was only minutes, Cooper called a halt, a proud smile spreading across his face as he looked at Y/N.

"You did it," he exclaimed, his voice filled with admiration. "You're a natural. How about going around by yourself?”

“Yeah. Id like to do that,” Y/N nodded and he stood back to lean against the fencing. She made the same clicking noise that Cooper made earlier and a slight kick of her heel, Sugarfoot began to move. Y/N's grinned beamed as she moved around the corral.

“If you do that again she'll trot around!”

Cooper shouted as Y/N got halfway around. She did it again and was going a little faster. She grinned at Cooper as she passed him. He grinned back as shouted at her.

“There you go sweetheart! Doing some damn good ridin’!”

She laughed as she pulled on the reins to slow Sugarfoot down and came to a stop as Cooper walked up to her.

“I did it!”

He chuckled as he helped her dismount. She threw her arms around him as he picked her up and twirled her around. As he sat her back down, their faces got close as the excitement shot through them. He brought his hands up to cup her cheeks and swiped a thumb across a cheek.

“Sweetheart-” He started but was caught off as Y/N pushed herself up and kissed him. He groaned into her mouth as he ran his hands down her body to grab her hips, pressing her into him. She gasped as she broke the kiss.

“Are you hard?”

He chuckled as he kissed her neck, “can you blame me sweetheart? Seeing you ride my horse makes me want you to ride something else.”

Her eyelids fluttered close with a moan as he nibbled her ear. She let her hand brush against his erection straining his jeans and it made him moan. He pulled away and looked over to the stables before taking her hand and tugging her behind him. It made her giggle with how fast he was walking and and quickly turned into a gasp as he crowded her against the open door in the stable.

He slammed his lips into her and ground his hips into hers. She shuddered as he licked against her bottom lip and opened her mouth to him. He pulled the bottom of her shirt up and unbuttoned her pants. He slid his hand down into her underwear and brushed his fingers against her pussy. It made her throw her head back with a cry as he laughed at her.

“Look at you, pretty girl. Gonna let me finger your wet pussy huh?”

Her head did a lazy nod as his fingers brushed against her hole before pushing into her. She grabbed onto his shoulders and brought her head forward to cry into it. The intrusion felt so good and she couldn't help but move her hips against his hand.

He clicked his tongue and it made her look up into his dark eyes. His eyes were half lidded with a smirk on his lips. She pulled his shirt to bring him down to kiss her. She could feel the heat in her belly burn and the coil start to tighten. She pulled away to kiss his neck as she whined.

“Cooper, I'm close.”

She whined in disappointment as he ripped his hand away. But quickly shut up as he unbundled his belt and started to take off his jeans.

“If you're gonna come sweetheart. It's going to be on my cock.”

He walked backward onto a bale of hay and pushed her jeans down until she kicked off her shoes. She finished undressing from the waist down and stood straight up to stare at Cooper. He had his cock out and was stroking himself as he watched her undress.

He smirked, “now how about you come up here and ride me.”

She quickly climbed on top of him and hovered above him before he lined himself to her and pushed inside. She scrambled to hold onto him as he held her waist and continued to move until she sat flush against him. She moaned out as she circled her hips against him. She let out a strangled yell as a hand slapped her ass. She looked down at Cooper as he smirked up at her and slapped her ass again.

“Let's get riding girl.”

She nodded before moving up and dropping back down. They both let out a moan at the feeling. Y/N placed her hands on his shoulders and held on to him as she started to him faster. The sounds of their pants and groans filled the stable.

Cooper threw his head back and watched her through half lidded eyes as she moved on top of him. His hands gripped her hips so hard she was sure there were going to be bruises and she couldn't wait to see them tomorrow. She shifted her hips to hit her sweet spot just perfectly. It made her jaw drop open and roll her eyes back. Cooper wrapped an arm around her waist, placing his feet on the bale to start fucking up into her.

She fell forward and cried into his shoulder again as he hit that spot over and over again. Her toes started to curl and couldn't stop the cries flying from her mouth.

“That's it sweet girl. You're doing so good for me. I want you to come on my cock. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes!” She cried out as she felt the coil inside of her begin to pull tighter and tighter again.

This time however, Cooper placed his thumb on her clit and rubbed fast and hard as she felt the coil snap. She screamed out his name as she gushed all over him. He groaned as he felt her tighten around him and he came with her name falling from his lips as she collapsed against him, letting him just use her body as he finished inside her.

He huffed as Y/N rose up and down from his heavy breaths and grabbed the back of her head. She sighed as their lips connected with slow, long kisses. He pulled away to smile at her.

As she went to speak up a loud huff came from behind them and she glanced back to see Sugarfoot standing near the doorway. Cooper laughed as Y/N huffed.

“Alright I'm embarrassed if a horse watched us.” She pulled up and off of him as he hissed from the cold air before laughing.

“Really sweetheart?” He laughed as Y/N made a face from the mess dripping out of her. “Embarrassed by a horse?”

“I don't like animals watching me. It's awkward.”

Cooper shook his head and pulled her into a kiss. She smiled into it and felt his lips quirk up to do the same. They pulled away and she knelt down to pull her panties and pants back on.

“What are you doing tonight?”

She stood and watched as Cooper stood, putting himself away and fixing his hat that got knocked up.

“Nothing, why?”

He smiled and scratched the back of his head.

“Want to go to dinner? I should have wined and dined you before all this but you know.”

He glanced down and smirked as he caught her eye again. “I couldn't resist.”

She smiled and leaned up to kiss him, “I would love to have dinner with you, Cooper.”

Taglist: @danveration

#cooper howard #cooper howard x reader #cooper howard x you #fallout #first anon request #im so excited #i hope you love it ❤️#anon ask

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kanansdume · 8 months ago

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I have SO MANY feelings about Kanan, Zeb, and Rex all being some of the last few survivors of dying cultures.

Even though the Jedi can pass on their teachings and there will always be more Force sensitive people in the galaxy, the specific culture of the Prequels Jedi that Kanan grew up with will never completely come back. Jedi like Ezra and Luke will share a lot of similarities, obviously, especially philosophically, but their way of life and traditions will look VERY different, as will whatever ends up evolving from them (and from Rey if we include the Sequels).

Similarly, Zeb finds the Lasat on Lira San, but those Lasat will presumably have a VERY different culture than the one that existed on Lasan. The two groups of Lasat have been separated for so long that Lira San has become legend and is thought to not really exist and even the people who believe it exists don't realize what it actually is and that there are other Lasat on there. This implies that it's been an EXTREMELY long time since the Lasat of Lasan originally left Lira San and the two groups have probably diverged quite a bit. Lira San itself is also just not going to feel like Lasan, it won't have the same landscapes or wildlife, the cities will be different. The language might even have some significant differences that the last three Lasan survivors would have to navigate. And there's no getting back that culture from Lasan, it's gone. There's only three known survivors and they're going to end up just... engulfed into the Lira San culture without a lot of ability to pass on what they remember from Lasan. Lasan might end up like... a chapter in a Lira San history text and that's probably it. The nuances of its culture will be lost completely.

And the clones. The clones are just going to completely disappear. People will likely only remember the clones even existed because the war got named after them. All they'll be remembered FOR is violence and death. Depending on who is talking about them, they'll either be the traitors who destroyed the Jedi and allowed the Empire to reign, or the poor pawns that the Empire used to destroy the Jedi and keep the galaxy under its thumb. Who they were will be completely and utterly lost. And there's no way for them to continue in any form. While it's POSSIBLE that a few of them might have sired children out in the galaxy somewhere, we never have any confirmation of that, and nearly all of them are dead by the time the Empire falls. Their friendship with the Jedi, what little culture they were able to develop, all of that is lost to time and will disappear once the final clone dies.

It's such a horrific thing that is happening to these three characters, a slow dying out that that's literally happening in front of their very eyes. It's the worst kind of connection between the three of them, but something that's probably really important in their various relationships. No one else understands this grief the way they do, no one else quite understands how this feels, the helplessness and hopelessness. There's absolutely nothing they can do but try to keep going and remember their people as best they can and live according to the culture the Empire has tried to eradicate.

I like to think the three of them end up discussing it one day, maybe one Empire Day they all just decide to go drinking and be maudlin together. And Kanan ends up talking about how the Jedi believed that there was no death, there was the Force. Everyone who dies rejoins the Force, so even if they're gone they're still impacting the galaxy and the people living in it, regardless of whether those who remain can feel them or not. Maybe you get a burst of inspiration or have a lucky break or meet someone you instantly click with, and maybe that's the people who've left before you still touching your life through the Force, binding you together no matter what. Zeb and Rex really connect to this belief and end up finding comfort and even a little healing in it.

#star wars #kanan jarrus #caleb dume #captain rex #garazeb orrelios #jedi #clones #clone troopers #lasat #lasan #lira san #prequels jedi #pro jedi #tw genocide

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jessilynallendilla · 27 days ago

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HOME POST

FAE/CREATURE/NON HUMAN JASKIER

I Am The Wild T

Years ago, Geralt meets a little boy befriending a monster. Years later, Geralt meets a bard. There's something familiar in the way he tries to keep Geralt from killing monsters. "Real monsters are human", he'd always say.

The Shapes Of Us T 33,142 SERIES

Jaskier was a shapeshifter. It was as simple as that. Except for nothing was ever simple with him. Especially not since that white haired man had rescued him. Protected him. Healed him. Saved him. What other option did he have but to try and return the favor?

We Can Do Good, Together M 8,391

Geralt had heard rumors of it before he'd been approached by Yennefer and asked, "How much?“

He stared at her, unimpressed, "How much to do what?"

"Don't play coy," she replied, "You know just as well as I do that there's been something wrecking havoc across the Continent."

Hidden By The Forest M 15,496 SERIES

“Geralt, please, I... can... let me explain, please...” Jaskier’s voice wavers and he takes another step back. Geralt strengthens his grip on the blood-soaked sword still in his hand and glares at Jaskier. At who he thought was Jaskier but is clearly something else.

Salt And Ash, Iron And Bone EX 47402

After Geralt’s death, Jaskier returns to the fae realm, unable to live in the human world without the witcher he loved. When he’s attacked and nearly killed eight centuries later, Jaskier flees back to the human world, where he finds himself face-to-face with Geralt. This Geralt is a redheaded, freckled human with no memory of his life as a witcher or of Jaskier. But as Jaskier gets to know his oldest friend all over again— and starts to fall in love with him all over again— a mysterious enemy threatens both their lives.

The Red Prince EX 72,058 SERIES

Jaskier has lived many lives over the span of humanity's existence, and yet he's still fascinated by them. But when he catches word of Witchers, he has to know more. He follows them, befriends them whenever possible, and saves their lives. They know him as The Red Prince. Bloody-handed and handsome. Some kind of patron saint of Witchers. A legend. A fairy story. The same story Vesemir once told a young Geralt the night before his Trials. And many years later, Jaskier meets a gruff, white haired Witcher known as the Butcher. But the man is no murderer. He's interested. Smitten, even. So he follows the White Wolf on adventure, expecting that at some point he'll have to revive the legend of The Red Prince. Because Witchers get wounded. They die. He won't let that happen to Geralt. Not so long as he can retie the strings of Fate.

Try, Please Try For Me EX 131,979 SERIES

Jaskier was part fae. A quarter to be precise. There was an old superstition among humans that names held power, but for fae it was so much more than that. Names meant control. If you knew a fae’s name, their true name, they would be completely at your will. If someone knew your true name you were nothing more than their servant. A slave. All it took was a single command. When war breaks out between neighboring kingdoms, Jaskier's father uses his true name and commands him to marry a witcher as part of a peace treaty. Neither Jaskier or Geralt are particularly happy with the arrangement. But as Jaskier gets to know him better he realizes that the witcher might just be able to give him the thing he's always craved. Freedom.

Fair Folk, Or: The Difference Between Honey And Destiny Is That One Of Them Is Sweet T 35,322 SERIES

wherein everything is the same, except when it isn’t.

So Can We Pretend, Sweetly T 2,131

Jaskier is a regular human bard, and Geralt could swear that yesterday he’d had regular human teeth. They’re just a little bit too long for his mouth, now- too white, too sharp. A predator’s. Jaskier clicks them together, experimentally, and winces when he bites his tongue. “Fuck anyone you weren’t supposed to?”

“I don’t fuck anyone I’m supposed to,” Jaskier says, a little proudly.

Drawing Our Destinies In Closer T 649 SERIES

Jaskier encounters a dangerous killer.

Wróżka G 2,600

jaskier has a secret, and geralt is trying to find the clues to figure out what it is.

When We Bloom (And We Will) T 12,132 SERIES

a fic in which geralt acquires a baby, jaskier saves the life of said baby, and ciri insists that she has a new sister until it becomes true.

In Your Arms, I Am A Wild Creature T

A different version of Geralt and Jaskier meet; Geralt is still a witcher— it’s Jaskier who’s different.

Fae Jaskier G 964

This was a request, but it's one of my favorite things I've written so I posted it separate of my ask collection.

Pray All Ye Meet Are The Gentle Fae EX 11,631 SERIES

“It was remarkably foolish of you, witcher,” Jaskier drawled, his glamour gone and the picture of his inhumanity complete. “Stumbling into my clearing like this.” Or: Geralt and Jaskier take a night off to have some fun. Less fun? They're overheard. If only their dirty talk didn't sound so...incriminating.

A Deal Which Cannot Be Refused T

Jaskier got into trouble a lot, that was normal. But not until he was too late to help Jaskier did Geralt ever realise that Jaskier was perfectly capable of solving his own issues. He has the ability to turn a whole argument on its head, unfailingly coming out the victor with a smile on his face, and the slightly burnt scent of pure magic in the air. Every time Geralt asked how exactly he got himself out of some new impossible situation Jaskier had just smiled and offered a well crafted but purposefully vague answer. Usually relating to a deal of some form, or a favour that Geralt didn’t really know if he wanted to know any more details of. Or - Jaskier isn’t quite human, Geralt can tell that much. What he can’t figure out is exactly what Jaskier is.

Featuring misunderstandings, very confused and slightly oblivious Geralt, morally grey and at times ominously terrifying Jaskier and some healthy doses of angst.

The Weight Of Life M 25,855

A few years after the unfortunate adventure with the dragon hunt, Geralt accidentally runs into Jaskier in the exactly same tavern, where the said adventure began. Maybe it wouldn't be that surprising (we are talking about the travelling bard after all), if Jaskier didn't look and behave so strange. How else can you describe approaching the witcher without making any indication to what has happened on the top of a certain mountain and simply paying him for killing a monster?

Long Live The King EX 47,450 SERIES

Geralt placed the crown on his head before kneeling at his side, and the weight of it felt heavy on Jaskier’s brow. Jaskier’s path to becoming king, takes place five years after the fall of Cintra.

He Fell Into A Faerie Ring EX SERIES

Traders are a gossiping sort. If there was a scandal within the noble houses of Posada, you’d hear about it in Cretegor by the end of the week. So, the quick spread of a rumor about a little village in the Kestrel Mountain range was not at all surprising. What was surprising was the story that the traders wove. They said that Luibhtorrach, a sad, ghost of a farming town, had miraculously become a hub for trade, as if overnight. Their lands unbelievably fertile and brimming with crop. Even stranger, each and every one of Luibhtorrach’s people professed that their good fortune was the work of a mysterious beast they’d claimed as their personal deity. Most recent news foretold of their plans to throw a midsummer festival celebrating this newfound god. In preparation, silken blue banners were erected in every corner of the town, each bearing the symbol of their new patron: A delicate dandelion wrapping around a golden sun.- Or -Jaskier accidentally becomes the god of a village he stumbled upon after Geralt’s post-dragon hunt meltdown. Maybe it had something to do with his new look.

Honey, Where Do You Think I Came From? M

It was little things at first. A glare on his face, narrowed eyes and frowning lips, or a comment a touch more cutting than it needed to be. All explained away with simple enough rational: a bad day, lack of sleep. No reason to suspect what truly lay beneath. Looking back, the signs were there. But he didn’t look for what they meant. What the whispered sweet nothings shared in a corner but never taken to a bedroom meant. What the cutting glances and sharp words at an annoying lord meant. What the lack of a dagger tucked away in a boot meant In the beginning, well, he was a simple bard really. Talented, yes, but simple. And that was all.

A Crown Of Crows M

There's something about Jaskier that Geralt can't place. It isn't the bard’s boldness in waltzing up to him, or how he seems strangely unswayed by the witcher's cold front, or even the way he glues himself to Geralt’s side. Jaskier makes Geralt's medallion quiver and tug at its chain any time they touch. Could be that lute of his is enchanted. But Geralt has a funny feeling Jaskier’s hiding something behind that warmhearted smile he finds himself so spellbound by.

Rues And Bees G

Geralt is sick and tired of standing in front of his oak cottage door and peeking through the peep hole as Yennefer stands on the other side, beckoning Geralt to, "Open the door and let me in. It's cold out here," and replying, "You're not Yennefer, she's in the other room, sleeping. I can hear her snoring." So naturally, he does the next big thing: he falls in love with the doppler.

Through A Field Of Poppies T 1,060

Jaskier dies in autumn. Geralt lays him to rest at the edge of a birch grove overlooking a flood plain on the northern banks of the Pontar. He remembers the place, now gilded in the afternoon sun by wayward wheat having made its way to the rich river soil, where his bard had once pressed a ring into his palm (“How about this,” he’d said. “You keep this near and I’ll know you still want me at your side.” And Geralt had closed his fingers around it thinking he’d take ten thousand golden trinkets just to be gifted with that smile) and he knows that come spring it’ll be a meadow thick with wildflowers. The next time he sees Jaskier, he reaches for silver.

I Want To Know You T 2,980

Four questions that they ask each other over the years they spend together. Jaskier herded him to a table when their drinks were on their hands, talking more nonsense and pulling out of the Witcher the information of the monster he was after. The human seemed to take a weird interest in what Geralt did for a living considering his species who preferred to have the whole continent between them and one of Geralt's kind.

Sunk But Sinking NR

He wakes up with a tightness in his chest, the reason for it revealed as soon as he opens his eyes. It’s not light yet, not exactly, but the fire is long gone and the cold had enough time to settle in his bones. He’s aching more than most mornings, but maybe it’s just the weather’s fault. Jaskier grunts and pushes Geralt’s hand off his chest, the unreasonable panic not quite evaporating from him at the same speed as the details of his nightmare.

He Sleeps In His Bed (While He Plays Pretend) M 34,049

When Yennefer leaves him, Geralt comes back to Jaskier, heart in his hand, anger, hurt, and heartbreak bleeding from it. Geralt grieves his love life with his eyes closed, his body bare and fucking into his bard, Yennefer's name on his lips. On the other hand, as months pass, Geralt's begins to fall in love with Jaskier himself, leaving a huge misunderstanding his wake.

Ensnared EX 32,014

Geralt is hired to hunt a creature that has been terrorising the local hunters and traders of Belhaven. He heads into Caed Myrkvid and finds more than he bargained for

This Isn't The Beginning Of A Joke, This Is The Beginning Of A Love Song... EX

Jaskier sings Renfri and Yennefer to life and doesn't think enough about the effect it could have on two powerful women. And the effect it could have on him. After all; he's the first music note ever heard, not a fertility god.And everybody knows Witchers are made, not born.

No No, Not I T

Geralt meats Fae!Jaskier due to a slight misunderstanding (or maybe its destiny messing with them?) and when Jaskier hurts his wing they are kind of stuck together for a while. It’s a journey that not only brings them in more and more danger and to unknown magical places but it also brings them closer together, if they want to admit it or not. The Fae is annoying Geralt to no end but he can’t just let him die, can he? Jaskier saw the jagged edge of the stone a fraction of a second too late and he couldn't stop himself from stepping on it with his bare feet. He hissed in pain, baring his fangs. “Wait, damn it,” a deep voice behind him demanded but he would not obey. He wouldn't dream of obeying the command of a monster that wanted to kill him.

Namesake Retrograde EX

'Fifty years of meticulously crafted lies become dust in the wind before Jaskier can realize what's happening. Distantly, he thinks he hears the tonal crack of shattering crystal, before his mouth rushes with hot saliva and bottom drops out from his stomach.' Jaskier's glamour is obliterated. It goes worse than expected.

Welcome, Oh Summer Love G 2,390 SERIES

After leaving Geralt and making a home in a fairy circle somewhere deep in a forgotten wood, Jaskier learns to move on. He makes a home in that stone ring, detached from the world and his worries. That is, until Geralt stumbles into his ring looking haggard and weary, trailing a lost princess behind him. Should Jaskier stay silent in his tree, let them pass by him as he rests? Will he finally face the love he'd run away from?

With Romantic Intent M 8,934 SERIES

Jaskier decides that it's finally time to start courting Geralt. He just needs to make it obvious enough that the silly man will take the hint — and, in the process, figure out that he was never quite as human as Geralt thought.

Of Music And Motion And Love T 12,412 SERIES

When Jaskier was four, he slipped his mother’s watch and went to the field to gather a bouquet of dandelions. He climbed back into the yard, as stealthy as a child really cared to be, and crept over to the barn. In the barn, lived a secret. (The man he thought his father said the secret was a monster, a plague. His mother said the secret was his sister.) OR Jaskier comes from a far humbler background, and would really like to know why Yennefer never came back for her youngest brother.

I Come Round Back To You M 15,567

He is fifty and there is a man in the corner of a tavern in Posada who hasn’t moved save for the rise and fall of his tankard to his sculpted lips. Julian knows what he is before he knows to know. He should have started chasing monsters sooner.

Where We Belong T

Geralt had many uses for the parasite living inside him. Jaskier could heal bones and regenerate a limbs like it was nothing, could eat the heads of monsters faster than a Witcher could draw his sword; even help Geralt breathe underwater if they so wished. Jaskier was a blessing in disguise if one forgone the constant hunger that came with hosting them. It was not, however, nearly enough to have to sit through the twice-damned singing and chatter inside his fucking skull.

There's Magic In A Bard's Song (O Lei O Lai O Lei O Lord) T

There’s something different about the way the bard sings. There is something underlying his voice, his music. It bothers Geralt.

As Daylight Dies T

The Witcher keeps to himself, gaze downcast, gloved hand extended to his tankard to keep within his lips' reach.

"Are the stories true?"

"Depends." The voice that comes from under the hood is deep, a wolf's growl and grunt. The White Wolf, an apt name for the man. A different, darker meeting between Geralt of Rivia and Jaskier. It's going to get darker.

Once Written In The Stars EX

When Geralt accidentally trespasses on a fae forest, only the unexpected kindness of one of the forest's inhabitants saves him. Unfortunately, it also leaves him saddled with a travel companion who has never really met a human, let alone thought about how to play at being one. It goes about as well as you'd think.

Will You Be Coming Home? M 52,104

At fifteen, Julian hires a bodyguard and runs away. At twenty, he's quite happy. At twenty-five, he's fucked.

(Don't Ask Me) To Follow Where You Lead M

Bitter irony that Jaskier had fallen for him despite knowing that his freedom was linked to Geralt wanting him gone deep down more than he wanted him to stay – if Jaskier ever got what his heart yearned for, he'd lose even more than Geralt's affections in the same breath. In that sense, Geralt's words on top of that mountain were a blessing, for all that Jaskier did not at all agree with being blamed for things that were in no way his fault. For someone who had held someone else's fate in his hands for almost all of the years he had walked this earth, Geralt was surprisingly scared of destiny and way too concerned with running from it in vain. Jaskier could and actually had sung several songs about how escaping destiny was impossible – her cruel claws would sink into you one way or another, running from it was nothing but a waste of breath.

Honey, Bread and Summer Flowers G 910

Geralt and Jaskier meet at a crossroads. Neither is what he seems.

Can’t You See I’m Unholy? T 1,006 SERIES

Jaskier was dead. Oddly enough, that’s the part he could handle. The part he couldn’t handle, the part that he’s never been able to handle, is the aftermath. The rebirth. -In which Jaskier is a demon that can’t ever fully die and Geralt is witness to his resurrection.

Upon The Waking Of The Spring T 2,074 SERIES

When Spring comes along, and brings with it new life, Jaskier finds the man with white hair asleep on a bed of violets. And, though they’re not meant to meddle with the Fates of humans, Jaskier just can not resist.

Like Real People Do T 3,989 SERIES

“Are you hiring me, girl?”

After a beat of silence, the two staring at each other, she stands tall and scoops the coin into her apron pocket and shakes her head. “No, Witcher, I don’t believe I am. Just thought you should know is all.”

He sighs out a breath through his nose, looking away. He grips the mug still in his hand a bit stronger and brings it to his lips.

“It’s the wood near your professor is why I thought you should know.”

Not Quite Right M

The meat suit ages around him. He can feel it grow every passing year, stretching and contorting over a too-big entity. The original soul died far before it was born into this world. It allowed him to step in and takes its place. His brethren are like vines that choke out trees, retaining their shape even as the mighty oaks or pines wither and die beneath them. He is like a weed with a lovely flower atop it. Mistaken for something meant for a bouquet, but even when identified, still plucked for flower crowns or innocent gifts. He calls himself Jaskier.

The God Of Scraped Knees. M 8,342

Jaskier’s been pretending to be human for so long now that he hardly remembers what it feels like to be a sorcerer. He doesn’t want to remember what it feels like to be a sorcerer. But people still murmur his name with reverence in certain dim halls; Dandelion, Dandelion, destroyer of worlds.

Blue And Yellow, Blue And Gold T 4,292

There is a blue-eyed boy living in Geralt's shadow.

Fallen For A Lie T 6,995

It was a long time before Geralt suspected anything. Geralt had been trained to notice such things at Kaer Morhen, and had gone years, decades even, without missing something as large as this. He could hear Vesemir shouting now at Geralt’s blindness, unexplainable aside from the locked away knowledge that this had escaped his attentions because he liked the way Jaskier chattered at him, the coin he brought in from his little tunes, liked him. Any bizarre incident that arose was brushed aside in favor of Jaskier’s easy company. And there had been many incidents.

What's Mine Is Yours T 7,506 SERIES

Jaskier had always had a set of lungs to rival the North wind. By the time he was old enough to put words to his wailing, his poor mother’s head was grey and her heart torn by the babe who had never once stopped crying. There wasn’t a healer or witch she took him to who didn’t say the same thing: there was nothing to fix. They could treat a bruise, bandage the reflections of another’s injuries that sometimes echoed onto his skin, but there was no curing pain that wasn’t his.

Edge Of Nowhere T 1,361 SERIES

Jaskier needed no introduction to Geralt of Rivia, not when he knows who this Witcher is on sight. On the other hand, this is his opportunity to make a new and different name for himself, a guise within a disguise, and perhaps fame that'll hide the secrets that he keeps.

Wolf & Songbird T

“Do I not warm you when it’s cold?” asks Geralt. “Feed you when you’re hungry, carry you when you’ve had too much too drink?”

“Well,” says Jaskier. He gulps. “But you never said anything.”

They may be destined to meet in every universe, but they always stay together by choice.

And The Seasons, They Go Round And Round T 2,938

Taking hold of his emotions enough so he won’t begin shouting, Geralt stands before Jaskier, arms crossed protectively around his beating heart. “What are you?” he growls.

With a heavy sigh, Jaskier leans on his elbows and peers up at Geralt. “Do you know the story of the seasons Geralt?” Jaskier inquires.

In which Jaskier isn't all he appears and his rivalry with Valdo Marx is a bit more complicated than Geralt realized.

Dear Fellow Traveler EX 39,567

Geralt had a rule: he refused to accept anything but coin for his work, no matter what was being offered to him. So when a man offered him a creature by the name of Jaskier, he elected to say no. After several incidents left the two no choice but to become traveling companions when they are forced to go on the run, things begin to change between the pair as they struggle to find a way for Jaskier to return to his home.

The Man From Oxenfurt M

Jaskier is an assassin from the school of Oxenfurt, assigned a target with no name, picture, or any information besides the target's species (witcher) and the fact that he trained under Vesemir. His luck changes when he meets another witcher from the same school in a tavern in Posada, and he vows that he'll build a life with Geralt with the money from this last assignment. If only it could be that easy.

Granted EX 12,314 SERIES

Jaskier feels it the moment the words leave Geralt’s lips. A rush of energy flooding from his core to the tips of his fingers and toes. ‘Oh no,’ he thinks. The magic spills from him like wine from a glass and before he can grab it, it’s done. He’s bound. Geralt’s wish has been granted.

Lord Of The Forest NR 7,521 SERIES

Jaskier is not human, he is Lord of the Forest, and post season 1 episode 6, he returns to his natural form to wreak vengeance on Geralt.

Pathway To Your Lips EX 5,5145

Geralt meets with Lord Pankratz about a monster in the forest of his duchy. In the process, he meets Jaskier, the Lord's son who is always dressed in a most extravagant manner. Amidst chaos at the dinner time and troubling thoughts, Geralt gears up to fight the monster he has been hired to kill.

Into The Woods G 1,318

Geralt gets lost in the woods. But there's someone -- or something -- else following him.

Like Real People Do G 55,687

A twilight that refuses to wane, the lingering scent of clean, bitter dandelion milk, and a strange man buried deep in the soil of a peaceful bog. Or, Geralt finds a traveling companion in the strangest of places.

Muse Of White And Gold G 1,573 SERIES

It’s been a week and the person is still following him. What’s more, they haven’t attacked yet. Geralt isn’t quite sure what to do with this. OR Jaskier sees Geralt slay a beast and is instantly drawn to the stunning man of white and gold.

Play Out A Spell In Your Sequence Of Chords (To Inspire And Sharpen Our Rusted Swords) T 10,813

Geralt cocked his head to the side curiously to regard the chittering fox caught in the hunter's trap. The beast had deep chestnut fur and eerily bright blue eyes. He knelt, and the creature hissed at him, baring his teeth in fear.

"I mean you no harm," he rumbled, hands palm-up. His swords were at his campsite, regardless. He reached forward slowly, and the fox didn't move, though it's teeth remained bared. It was a simple matter to pry open the trap, and the fox leapt away, chattering its teeth at him. Their eyes met for a long moment, amber to fantastical blue, and the fox dashed off.

Sighing faintly, hands resting on his knees, Geralt bowed his head tiredly. He rolled his neck to crack it, and rose to his feet to shuffle his way back to his camp.

Set out neatly next to his bedroll were three cleanly gutted rabbits, and Geralt paused in surprise. Roach whinnied softly, and stamped a hoof. A crown of golden wheat rested primly between her ears.

Ah. Fae, then. Services paid for services rendered. Hopefully the fae would consider them even, now, but something in him doubted it.

Left Alone T 7,026

There's almost something between them, Jaskier can see it. An almost relationship. Almost love. That's why the sight of Geralt and Yennefer shatters his heart, leaving him broken and alone and in pain. And well, all there's left to do is go home.

While Jaskier reunites with his siblings and remembers what's it like to hold his blades, Geralt looks for a way to break what the djin made. And well, Destiny wants them together so, in the end, they always come back to each other.

Farewell Wanderlust T 1,124

After being left on the mountain, fae!jaskier goes dark. Geralt is contracted to take out the dark fae tormenting the village, unbeknownst to him that it is his old friend.

Of Home And Gentle Hands G 1,582 SERIES

It’s been almost a year since Jaskier started travelling with Geralt, and he still can’t believe his luck. Geralt is having trouble understanding the way he’s feeling. Meanwhile, Yennefer shows up with a job offer. Travelling with Geralt, Jaskier decides, is far better when he’s allowed to walk next to him rather than stuck to following him from a distance. From this close, he’s able to see different things, things he never noticed from afar.

Normal Human? Never Heard Of Him. EX 6,955

Three times Jaskier acts suspicious and one time Geralt gets his mind blown.

What Is A Monster? G 996 SERIES

“You’re not a monster.”

Geralt sighs, and puts his sword away. Kissing Jaskier’s head, he wants to say a million things, I’m not a monster to you, you make me feel normal, I love that’s how you see me but reality is different, I love you, but he understands that what would make Jaskier feel better is none of that. What he wants, needs, is far simpler, “I know.”

Welcome To The Storm, I Am Thunder EX 4,239

They've barely left the tavern in Posada before Geralt has made up his mind about Jaskier. He's annoying and persistent, has zero sense of self-preservation, talks too much and is, first and foremost, painfully, vulnerably human. The next few weeks prove almost all of those things to be true—all but one.

Look What You've Done To Me M

Jaskier can't ignore who he really is, and Geralt's not sure he can either.

A Rose, But Only One T SERIES

A retelling of the ballad Tam Lin wherein Jaskier is Tam Lin.

Witness Me, Old Man, I Am The Wild T 1,787 SERIES

Jaskier always asks to stop whenever they reach meadows, to cut as many flowers as he can manage. He usually aims for white heather and feverfew, and Geralt usually ends up with some threaded through his hair. He assumes at first it’s just Jaskier’s restless fingers and part of his campaign to change Geralt’s image. It takes him nearly three years, and a fight with a higher vampire, to realise there's more to it than that.

Surprises Surprises T 2,832 SERIES

Yennefer isn't sure what's so special about the human bard that the Witcher cares so much, but she intends to find out. They meet again and again and again, and each time she sees more and more. Turns out there are more than a few surprises there

Changeling Jaskier T 1,022 SERIES

Jaskier was far more observant and aware than most people gave him credit for, after all he had grown up among the fae and had gotten himself his freedom. He also knew Geralt better than the witcher thought he did, and he was not above using that knowledge when the man was doing something stupid.

I’m Lost, I’m Found In You T 1,190 SERIES

Meeting Geralt of Rivia had initially been quite the shock. The man offered up his name so easily, thinking nothing of it, and everything in Jaskier’s body screamed mine mine mine. It wasn’t as if he didn’t get first names on a daily basis. But that was from humans, gullible creatures that had forgotten the tales of the fae, the warnings, choosing to live in blissful ignorance. But Geralt was a Witcher. Surely he could smell what Jaskier truly was, if not see through his glamour entirely. And yet…Jaskier felt his instincts awaken and tingle with joy - his mind was begging him to take, use, own this beautiful man with his name. But Jaskier gave up that life long ago.

I Am Flesh And I Am Bone T 2,601

Geralt is pretty sure Jaskier isn’t quite human. He has a list of evidence, really, he does. And it starts with a petty challenge issued by Jaskier one night at a tavern. The list grows from there.

His Love, Soft And Sweet G 754 SERIES

"I'm going to die," he says, voicing the thought aloud. "This is the end of me, dear heart. My final moments, the finale, the fine. Remember me fondly as you continue your journey down the Path—"

"You're not going to die, Jaskier," Geralt interrupts him with exasperation. "It's a fever, that's all."

A Wilted Warning T 1,071 SERIES

After the initial discussion, Geralt decides it’s best if he explores the woods surrounding the village. There’s only one issue…

“I told you to stay in the room.”

“And I told you I’m coming with you. How else am I going to write my songs?”

OR Jaskier and Geralt search the woods for the culprit. Geralt gets to learn more about Jaskier, even if the bard is acting a bit strange... Well stranger than usual.

Day By Day G 1,261 SERIES

Jaskier has been alive for a long time, has met his fair share of witchers and sorceresses and even Princesses. Some were dumb, some were smart, and some were somewhere in the middle. However, none were so completely dense that they didn't realize he wasn't human by the end of a five-year friendship. He's known Geralt for twenty years. Geralt still hasn't caught on. Now, Jaskier isn't saying Geralt is dumb because the man is obviously very intelligent, but Geralt is…. Well, he's dumb. Jaskier loves him, would sacrifice immortality for him, but his witcher is very stupid.

The Curse Of The Fae-Child T

“I… there’s an estate, half an hour up north,” Jaskier started, avoiding Geralt’s questioning gaze. “It’s not on the map, but there’s a chance they won’t kill us if we ask for shelter. Don’t ask me to elaborate, if I am wrong we’ll simply find somewhere else and forget about it forever.” Forced to go back to his childhood home, Jaskier is soon tasked with some fae nonsense, because fairies do not exist... right?

A Midwinter's Daydream G 1,396

“Either I mistake your shape entirely, or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite called Julian Goodfellow?” Her laugh tinkles on the breeze, shrill to his ears. “Are you not sheep-stealer, milk ruiner, or wife stealer? Come sprite, I recognise thine face.” Her pale hand stretches out to pluck a delicate yellow flower from his hair, “or should I call you Jaskier, or sweet puck, and then will you bring me luck?”

He matches her pitched giggles with a sharp strum of his lute, bowing low in mockery. “Thou speak’st aright! I am that merry wanderer of the night."

Check Mate, Valdo Marx T 1,227

The sanctuary of Kaer Morhen was broken so much sooner than Geralt had hoped. He had a sorceress and three other witchers on his side to fight the whole army of Nilfgaard. All while a bard hid out in the pantry with his child surprise and a dagger in hand with instructions to use it when their last defence had fallen. Except, Jaskier was going to have none of that. He had won this round fair, Valdo was just a sore loser.

The Voice Beloved By The Trees NR

“Why do you not like the forest, mama?” Julian had asked her once, age nine, knees pressed in the mud beside her. His mother sat demurely upon a rich blanket of gold and sky blue—the colors of their house. He remembered, briefly, how her fingers stilled at his question, though careful not to bruise the bud of the flower she was attending.

“It’s not safe,” His mother had said simply, her blue eyes much too bright. She plucked the scissors up off her white saffron gown and quickly snipped a mature bloom, placing it tenderly in her wicker basket. A basket that was always full of flowers: roses, forget-me-nots, orchids, and the handfuls of dandelions that Julian snuck in—his mother's favorite name for him. For the wild boy with mud on his shins and rumpled riches. Her little Jaskier.

On The Wings Of Love EX 5,420 SERIES

After spending the winter in Kaer Morhen, Geralt and Jaskier get on with their travels again, and Geralt gets to see Jaskier in all of his Fae glory - the good, the bad and the weird. Somewhere along the way they get married, acquire a child and meet a djin. Somehow, they're all good things.

Wolf's Temper M

Geralt never expected himself to be stuck traveling with a werewolf, but when one night of drinking with Jaskier turns into a secret being revealed Geralt realizes what this means for him as a person and as a Witcher. He needs to protect Jaskier at all costs.

You Don't Have To Hide From Me T 1,737 SERIES

Geralt had always known, something was different with Jaskier but he hadn't been able to say what it was until the day they slept together for the firs time

Curiosity And The Cat T 2,834

Jaskier had always been different from everyone else. Odd, loyal, and a touch too curious for his own good. Or Geralt isn't sure what kind of being Jaskier is but one night while hunting a werewolf, his bard's persistence leads to a great deal of trouble.

Through The Desert M 3,397 SERIES

Jaskier is hungry for the world - even before he flirts with the wrong woman and gets turned into a vampire. Jaskier is not a bard anymore, he is a creature. (And witchers kill creatures, don't they?)

Could Be, Will Be, Maybe? T 6,445

“Do you want to hold her?” The princess doesn’t really wait for Jaskier’s answer; simply deposits the little babe into his arms, and Jaskier scrambles to hold her right, sneaking a hand to delicately cradle the head. She’s so small, he thinks to himself a little hysterically, and then, in quick succession, Geralt is going to love her. Or: the story of how Jaskier visits Cintra over the years, and carves lasting bonds with Pavetta, with Ciri - and finds himself as bound to Geralt as if Destiny herself had twined their fates together.

A Buttercup Plucked From The Side Of The Road NR

Alfred Pankratz is barely two years into his professorship when he finds a boy passed out by the side of the road leading to Oxenfurt. A small, adorable child with a buttercup tucked into his hair. Alfred Pankratz is 27 years old and can be described as many things, whimsical, flighty, headstrong but not as father material. He's not fit to be a father, he's not. He'll take Jaskier to the healer and then the orphanage as soon as the healer is done with him. Aforementioned healer raises an amused eyebrow, “You’ve named him?” Fuck he's already named him. Mentally, he rearranges his plans for the next decade or two. By sunset Alfred has already filled out the necessary papers, informed his colleagues, bought new children's clothes and cleared out a room in his quarters. He brushes his new son’s, Jaskier’s, hair out of his sleeping face and sighs a deeply resigned sigh. It will be the first of man

The Heart Is A Muscle T 31,045

The one where Jaskier is fae, Geralt can’t connect the dots to save his life, and, with some help, the pair discover what it means to find your true family.

Masquerade As The Love Of Your Life EX 20,667

“As you know, Nilfgaard is pressuring Kaedwen borders. Our lands are struggling.” Vesemir has his arms crossed over his chest, his face stony. “We have a very promising solution but it’s also our least favourable.”

The Highest Reward T 2,240 SERIES

“What do you want in return?”

The fae’s smile was anything but reassuring. “Oh, nothing you will miss. Nothing you have ever wanted. I only ask for your first child.”

His Bard, Eternal EX 3,678

Geralt is just about to Kaer Morhen with Ciri when he comes across a village that desperately needs his help. He continues taking Ciri to Kaer Morhen so she is safe before turning back to take the job offer. There, he comes across a familiar bard that he had not seen since the dragon hunt with Borch. Can he make things better? Is Jaskier willing to forgive him? Find out here!

Make Them Hear You M 2,514 SERIES

The first year Jaskier goes to Kaer Morhen, he's struck almost dumb by the pain of the keep, the losses it's seen, and the cries of the land. There's little he can do to help, but what little he can, he will.

Thomas The Rhymer T 37,401

Jaskier, heartbroken and banished from his Witcher's side, finds himself employed by the Fae Queen for seven years. In return for teaching music lessons and performing for guests of the Seelie Court, she promises the bard a longer life, knowledge of the Faerie Tongue, and an escape from the pain that haunts his shattered mortal heart. After seven years of searching the world over for his bard, Geralt stumbles upon a familiar face in a clearing. A man with cornflower blue eyes, wavy brown hair, slightly pointed ears, and absolutely no memory whatsoever of the White Wolf.

Iron Blood T

It’s inevitable that it would’ve happened, sooner or later. He’d imagined that it would be at the hands of some mercenary or a hunter, though. He presses his eyes closed, hissing against the smell of burning flesh as it tears through his throat. In which Jaskier pretends Geralt doesn't know anything, and Geralt tries to court a fae.

Love/Home/Heart T 34,851

Jaskier remembers his birth. Or rather he remembers his first breaths in this world. A woman, unrelated to him by blood but his mother all the same, pulls him wailing out of the ground. He feels her joy and the stench of old magic in the air, the… the knowledge is gone. Contrary to popular belief, thank you Lambert, Geralt was not stupid. As soon as he’d walked into the Tavern in Posada, he’d known something was different about the bard. After an encounter with a Djinn, Yennefer finds herself with a Fae indebted to her. They keep running into each other.

Fingertip Distance. NR

People didn’t like to touch Geralt unless it was for a purpose. To hand him coin so he could deal with a couple of pesky monsters, to try and best him in a fight, or to lay with him for a night after they’ve been paid. People didn’t like touching Geralt, but Jaskier isn’t people. Jaskier touches him all the time, when he’s drunk and trying to regain his balance, when he’s tired and needs someone to lean on, when he needs Geralt’s attention he will press his fingertips to Geralt’s elbow. And Geralt? He finds himself fixating on those fingertips. Yennefer has warned him, told him that his control wasn’t as good as he thought it was, but as Jaskier stares at him, wide eyed and open mouthed Geralt can only hide his head in shame and blame the summer heat. For all the times Jaskier might have touched him, this is the first time Geralt reciprocated.

Escaped My T 17,005

Jaskier followed Geralts wish, of course he would grant his friends' one final request to leave. Jaskier was done with singing, after all his friend hadn't thought much of it, instead used his silver tongue for other things- much less honourable things. What did it matter Geralt was gone anyway so no one could tell him to stop.

His Name Means Air T 7,062 SERIES

Always too loud and too bright, Jaskier believes that he’s a changeling. He also believes that if Geralt finds out, he’ll kill him.

Out Of The Night That Covers Me EX 37,820 SERIES

Jaskier has begrudgingly agreed to accompany Geralt to Kaer Morhen for the winter. He has not, however, agreed to being up front about his true nature. Meeting the family is stressful enough without the threat of a painful death.

You Wingless Thing M 26,650

So, Geralt saves the terrorizing for the actual noble lord, and makes himself as unthreatening as possible. Contrary to popular belief, he isn’t a savage, bloodthirsty beast, and he’d rather this boy not be raised under that falsehood - though, it’s likely no matter what Geralt does that he will.The boy’s voice stutters as he looks up at Geralt, words coming out too fast and heart beating rabbit-fast. “S-sir, Lord Erynd requests your presence.” Geralt gets a contract in a town called Eristan, but it turns out the only monster there is human.

The Price Of Wanting M

He hadn't the imagination to build a human from scratch at the time, when he decided that no other shape would truly suffice, so he acquired one in the grand tradition of his people. He had offered the mortal a trade, as one did, and in return for his aid, he was granted his name: Julian Alfred Pankratz.

#the witcher #fic rec #jaskier

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elaemae · 10 months ago

Text

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]

CHP.3

CW: Same as before.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER: PROLOGUE 2

FUN FACT: You were just about to remove your unbelievable amount of jewelry and go to sleep when the dark carriage appeared in the middle of your room.

You didn't notice because you were busy tryna reach for your bangles but then you were suddenly yanked by the hair into the carriage where you quickly lost consciousness from the strong sleeping magic inside. That horse got no chill, wtf..

This is one of those times where you need to channel out your inner Belphegor.

Be loveably infuriatingly bratty and murderous at the same time.

Turns out, you were yanked by the hair and shoved into the carriage by that creepy looking horse because you were "chosen" by the dark mirror to attend their oh-so-prestigious college. (Move out the way Harry Potter, there's a new chosen one in town—)

So you decided to stress these fuckers into bringing you back to where their unhinged horse first took you.

You don't have to be a genius to know that if any of the brothers notice your disappearance, there can either be a war or a bloodbath. It's either one of those things or both of them.

So as you were freed and guided in front of the mirror by the bird-man who you've come to find out was the headmaster of this oh-so-grand college that you've never even heard of.. you side-eye the Mr. Boutta-sell-yo-kidneys guy that tried to take your bangles before you faced the mirror.

'...Hmm? Who's this?' You think, as you look at the person half-hiding behind the mirror.

They seemed to be quite nervous as they gave you a small wave, earning them a smile from you.

The headmaster seemed to be confused about them for a second but quickly remembered something as they called upon that person.

It seems that Yuu, quite a confusing name they've got also desires to be sent back to their home as they said they had responsibilities they must fulfill.

Nice.

Twinning with your problems fr.

It's like you two looked at each other and something just clicked.

Like, Omg we're both kidnapped by a school filled with hot men and forced to be their unpaid therapists, Slay gurly~ 💅🏼 sry it's your inner asmo talking.

You decide to let Yuu be the first to face the mirror so that they'll get home first.

Ah, aren't you so kind and patient?

You don't know anything about that mirror, so it's best that you let someone else have a go first to see if it's safe.

Sorry Yuu, we may have clicked but I don't know if I can trust any of you right now.

It's too risky.

If we ever meet again, I'll treat you to a meal in hell's kitchen as compensation.

Thank Belphie for my trust issues.

...

...Huh.. The place that Yuu belongs to "doesn't exist"?

What a strange response... This damn mirror better not give you the same words lest it wants to be melted out of existence via hellfire.

You can see the dudes behind y'all who turned out to be the housewardens of the dorms of this school start whispering to each other like some nosy aunties on a regular sunday morning.

You gave reassuring pats on Yuu's shoulder after they went back beside you, getting a shaky smile in return.

"I'm sure that it'll be okay.. Their dark carriage took you so it must have the capabilities to take you back, right?" You whispered to Yuu, trying to keep them from panicking as you notice their breaths starting to quicken.

"People in distress are prone to being exploited and manipulated by others. Breathe slowly and calm your mind." You lean closer to their ear, rubbing small circles on their back.

Panicking won't help anyone. You had to learn that from experience. Now you just want to make sure that Yuu doesn't have to.

You may be alright with using this new acquaintance of yours to verify the safety of the mirror, but you won't stand by and watch them expose their vulnerability to a group of people that haven't really made a show of good morals they might possess.

As the headmaster guy started going on a rant about how "tHiS hAvE nEvEr hApPenEd bEfoRe" you keep an eye on the five housewardens dudes, seeing as those guys were eyeing you and Yuu lmao💀 like they were looking at some weird... thing.

Except for the shady mf who's looking straight at you with his weird-ass smile.

Really giving you the impulse to sock him in the face again.

(Oh, and also that tablet that kept taking pictures of you thinking that they were slick when you can hear the click every time a pic was taken.)

The headmaster then guided you to the mirror, mumbling pleas for the reflective object to work properly.

"I... I seem to be unable to reach the place that you call home.."

The mirror spoke, troubled and seemingly confused.

Yuu peeks at your face, before paling and trying to get closer to comfort you the way that you did for them, only to full on try to tackle you when you bring out your staff to try and break the damned thing.

If you can't bring me home then maybe I can take your power and do it myself.

MEANWHILE...

"There are traces of what seems to be teleportation magic as well as a smidgen of sleeping magic mixed in, on center of MC's room."

Solomon stated, glancing at the people sitting around the big oval table inside Diavolo's castle.

If anyone else saw the attendance in this little meeting of theirs, they'd have a heart attack.

I mean, when will you ever see representatives of the celestial realm mingling with those of the devildom, the human world and the grim reaper in such a serious manner?

You'd think there's an intergalactic threat on the loose if you ever see their expressions..

But that's the thing.

You weren't there to see them.

That's the problem.

Someone or something took you away from them.

Those connected to you via pact can still feel your emotions and connections through your pact marks but nothing more.

At this rate, they worry that you're too far to reach because they couldn't get to you through their pacts. Where could you be?

The only reassurance they have that you're fine, is your candle in Thirteen's hands.

The last string of reason they have that is keeping them from drowning in their grief and anger.

The burning flame of your candle gave them comfort and fueled their determination to bring you back into their arms.

Don't worry MC, we'll bring you back.

No matter what it takes.

← Pr. 2 | Chapter List | Pr. 4 →

I'm tryna sketch my MC, but it's taking a long-ass time.

Elae: Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter y'all😊

Don't forget to like, comment, and reblog guys, it really helps me out :3

See y'all next time~

(still tryna figure out tagging)

@leviathans-tail-scales

@f0uerleafedcl0ver

@a-traveling-void-human

@pumafiredraw

@lunasakuravalentine

I tried to tag all of y'all but it won't work for some reason :c

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happypolicecherry · 3 months ago

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!A rewrite! Alhaitham x reader inspired by the podcast: Dangerously Yours (A radio drama series)

#Author note: have fun !! Rewrote this favorite piece of mine a year later because it needs its redemption. I hope you guys enjoy it

The room was suffocatingly quiet, save for the sound of their shallow breathing.

Alhaitham stood still, his face an unreadable mask as you pressed the cold metal of the gun against his temple. His calm demeanor only served to stoke the flames of your anger, your fingers twitching around the trigger. You couldn't believe it had come to this.

"You mean you're actually going to kill me?" Alhaitham asked, his voice as steady as ever, as he look down into your eyes.

"I mean just that." Your jaw clenched, the weight of the situation crashing down on you as you gripped the gun harder. The barrel trembled against his head, betraying, your inner turmoil.

"Well, go ahead." His eyes, those sharp, aquamarine piercing eyes, bore into yours, amused. He wasn't scared. In fact, he looked almost... certain. Certain that you wouldn't do it.

Thousands of thoughts raced through your mind. Each question, each doubt gnawed at your resolve, pulling you in opposite directions. You had been trained for this moment, prepared to take down anyone who stood against the agency, no matter the cost. But no amount of training could have prepared you for him.

Alhaitham, the man you had fallen for.

The same man who now stood as your target.

"Pull the trigger." His words cut through the silence, calm and deliberate. He could see the hesitation growing in your eyes, the tremor in your hand as your heart warred with your duty.

“I’ll do this my own way,” your voice shook as you pushed the gun harder against him, trying to convince him—convince yourself, that this was something you could do.

But it wasn't. Your hand quivered as you choked back the wave of emotions threatening to break free. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. You never asked for this. How had it come to this? How had the man you loved become the enemy? He was wanted by your agency for crimes you still couldn't fully understand, but the orders were clear: he had to be eliminated. And it had to be by your hand.

"You won't do it." Alhaitham's voice was soft, almost pitying. He didn't move, didn't try to take the gun from you. He didn't need to.

"You can't pull the trigger," he said, his hand reaching up to gently caress your cheek. His touch was soft, his thumb brushing away the tears that had begun to well in your eyes. His lips curled into that familiar, infuriating smile—the one that used to make your heart flutter, that used to make you feel safe.

But now? Now, that smile only made you feel sick.

"You can't pull it because you love me," he said quietly, his words sinking deep into your heart. And he was right. You hated how right he was. You hated that even now, with the gun in your hand, you couldn't bring yourself to end it.

Your shoulders slumped in defeat, your grip on the gun loosening as you pulled it away from his head. The shame hit you like a wave, drowning you in its cold embrace. You took a step back, your vision blurring as the tears you had been holding back finally fell.

Alhaitham sighed, the sound heavy with disappointment. He rubbed his face, looking away from you as though you were no longer worth his time. "That was pathetic, Y/n," he muttered, his voice laced with disdain. "I thought you had more pride than this."

He turned to face you, his sharp gaze cutting into you like a blade. "If you had kept that strong front from earlier, I might've actually considered this experience worthwhile," he said with a cold smirk.

You stood there, your heart shattering under the weight of his words. The man you loved was gone, replaced by the cold, calculating person standing before you now. And you couldn't take it anymore. The pain, the shame-it was all too much.

The sound of the gun clicking echoed through the room. Alhaitham turned to you, his eyes narrowing as he half-expected you to aim it at him, your tears fueled by fury.

But what he saw was something far more devastating.

You had turned the gun on yourself.

"But I can kill me," you whispered, your voice barely audible as you pressed the barrel against your own temple.

His eyes widened in shock, the mask of indifference cracking for the first time.

"Y/n-"

But it was too late. The gunshot rang out before he could even reach for you, the bullet finding its mark. You collapsed instantly, the sound of your body hitting the floor echoing in the now-deadly quiet room.

#alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #genshin alhaitham #alhaitham angst #genshin angst

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thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels · 5 months ago

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Is there a home here for me, still? (is it the heart inside your chest?)

damn your love, damn your lies - series masterlist here

pairing: roy harper x reader (gender neutral)

length: 1.4k

genre: fuff, comfort

warnings: they're getting back together everything's gooooood, but ofc there's a little confrontation on the way, vaguest allusion to sex

a/n: ok I have given you happiness finally kiss kiss enjoy

It feels a bit mean, eventually, waking up every morning and plodding into your living room to see Roy sleeping on your couch. You never insist, sure, telling him that he's always welcome to go back home and sleep where it's comfortable. Every time you do, though, he looks at you like he wants to tell you that you're home and he knows you just wouldn't be able to stand him saying that.

It's over breakfast one morning, you stirring two cups of coffee while Roy sits at the counter, rubbing the back of his neck and rolling his shoulders, that you bring it up.

"Do you think I'm being mean?" You ask.

"I think people are allowed to be mean when they're scared," he responds kindly. You're not sure you deserve it. "But," he adds, "I also don't think I'm entitled to a space in your bed - ever."

"Why are you still here, Roy? Why haven't you gone home yet? I won't run away just because you decide to sleep somewhere comfortable for once," you sigh, your bottom lip jutting out into a pout as you look at him pointedly. He reaches to slide his cup of coffee across the counter to himself, wrapping his hands around it tightly enough that you're sure the heat must be stinging his palms.

"Because you get nightmares. And I don't want you to be alone when you wake up from them." He says it softly, like he knows he's spilled some kind of secret across your kitchen counter and it's dripping onto the floor. You freeze, eyes widening as you stare at him, caught in a trap of kindness.

Looking down abruptly so that you can stare into your coffee and pretend Roy isn't looking at you, you hum in understanding. All of those nights that the two of you had spent together, where you'd jerk awake and slip out into the living room to sit alone, determined not to wake Roy - they all come back to you now. The way he seemed to hold onto you tighter in his sleep when - if you came back to bed, the way he was always gentler the next morning… you'd thought it was just a lucky streak of love, nothing more.

"Why didn't you ever tell me you knew?" You swirl a spoon through your coffee as you speak, keeping your eyes cast down.

"Because I wanted you to tell me. I was waiting for you," Roy says, and there's a weariness in his voice, like a soldier standing at attention for too long, waiting for the end of a war that he knows will never really come. You let the spoon clang against the side of your mug and click your tongue in annoyance before looking at him.

"If I hadn't found out that you were Arsenal… would you have ever told me?" Roy pauses at that - he knows a challenge when he sees one, sure, but he can't help but think that maybe… maybe this time you have a point.

"It's not your job to deal with that," he tries to explain, and his stomach twists as he hears the same words that you'd said to him so many times now repeated out of his own mouth. "Arsenal is my problem, not yours. I couldn't put that on you."

"Ah," is your only response as you straighten where you stand, tapping your nails against the marble counter. Roy sighs and slumps in his chair, sweatpants stretching over his thighs.

"I guess neither of us won that round, huh," he says lowly. You pause and fix him with a look.

"I'm not interested in winning this anymore, Roy. I don't care about that." You look back down after you speak, toying with the handle of your mug absentmindedly, distracted enough that you don't really notice Roy standing, moving around the counter to where you are. He takes your coffee from you gently, moving it off to the side before sliding himself between you and the counter, leaning against it so that you're face to face as he rests one hand on it, bringing the other up to cup your cheek and smooth a thumb delicately over the skin there.

"Do you think we ever really knew each other at all?" You ask quietly. Roy takes his hand off the counter to wrap it around your waist, bringing you closer to him.

"Why do you make me coffee every morning?" He asks in lieu of answering.

"Because I know how you take it. Why do you keep sleeping on my couch?" You respond.

"Because I know how you run away. How did you find out I was Arsenal?"

"Because I know you," you say simply, looking up at him for a minute before sighing and letting your head fall forward to thump against his chest. Roy smiles, leaning down to press a kiss to the crown of your head as he smoothes his hand over your hair.

"I don't think anyone's ever known me the way you have," he says softly, rocking the two of you back and forth gently as you sag against him, letting his arm around you brace you against his chest and hold you upright. You're not sure why you never let yourself lean on him like this before - he's never seemed sturdier than right here in this moment, when he's needed and trusted and loved.

"I don't think there's anyone I'd want to know me like this except for you," you say in response, letting your hand rest on the waistband of his sweatpants as your thumb brushes against his skin under the hem of his tank top. He sighs - a relieved, contented sort of thing and tightens his arms just a touch around you as you smooth your hand up his abdomen under his shirt, feeling the hard planes of muscle there.

"I think you should pack up your stuff." Your words are muffled against his chest, but Roy hears you nonetheless, freezing and pulling back to look down at you. "If you want…" you continue, "to move back in."

"Oh," Roy nearly laughs, pulling you back against him and resuming his gentle rocking back and forth. "Yea, sunshine, I think that'd be fine. You gonna let me come back to bed now?"

"Hm," you pretend to think about it. "Maybe."

"Oh, fuck off." This time, Roy does laugh, pushing you away from him just enough to lean down and pick you up, an arm under your knees sweeping you up and off your feet as you huff out in fake annoyance. Your arms wrapping around his neck and your fingers tangling in his hair, though, betray your happiness.

"Really, though, Roy - right now? I just put clean sheets on my bed and -," But Roy takes you to your living room, instead, kicking a pillow and his blankets off the couch so that he can settle there, sitting with you pulled over his lap.

He lets you squirm away enough to reach down and pull the blankets back up, mumbling something about not wanting them all over the floor as you pull one over the two of you, instead.

"What are we doing here, Roy?" You ask as he settles in.

"You're letting me hold you," he says simply, pulling you closer and dropping your television remote into your lap before leaning to bury his face into your neck. "We're staying like this all day," he mumbles into the skin there.

"You know I have a job, right?" You ask dryly, picking up the remote and flipping through channels, nonetheless, while you relax into him. His arms tighten around you.

"You make your own hours. You can take the day off," he says easily. You hum in reluctant agreement as you card your fingers through his hair, smoothing down stray strands and then moving to adjusting the blanket, tucking in corners and fixing wrinkles.

"Roy?" You ask.

"Hm?"

"Thank you for waiting for me." He looks up at that, cupping a hand over your cheek and leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours.

"Thank you for letting me," is his response, and the kiss he presses against your lips, you think, is all the closure that the two of you need.

#smsn.writes #roy harper x reader #roy harper oneshot #roy harper imagine #roy harper x yn #roy harper x you #roy harper dc #arsenal dc #arsenal x reader #arsenal imagine

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lonewolfel · 1 month ago

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AU were Zeus gives Eurylochus the choice Odysseus's life or the lives of himself and the crew.

This idea entered my brain dis-morning and wouldn't leave my brain, so instead of all my other wip or homework I should be doing I decided to write this while I'm at work.

I might do more in this universe. Feel free to ask me about the Au.

Warnings: rapid decay of a character's health, character death (off screen)

Ithaca faded from Athena's senses. Instead she know was wrapped in her Quick Thought standing on an hour glass as time steadily clicked forward.

It's been ten years since Athena had seen Odysseus. She remembered him exactly as he was then. His rage was clear, their was a heaviness on his shoulders that had steadily increased ever since he went to war, and grief from the men he had lost. There was also a sadness and a look of betrayal as she lectured him about his stupid actions.

Athena now knew that she went about it all wrong. She should have told him that the cyclops is Poseidon's son and that if he is left alive he will send his father after them. Now it was too late for that, as for all Athena's powers she can't change the past. Now though she has a chance to help her friends and she is going to take it.

"Odysseus," Athena said.

She then jumped off the hour glass diving to the other side so she may be able to peer into his past.

Odysseus stood there on Aeolus's island. In his hands was a simple bag. He looked a little battered but not any worse for wear.

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," Aeolus giggled.

The scene shifted. Now Odysseus stood on the deck. Poseidon was before the ship elevated by a water spout. There was a gleam in his eyes that promised pain.

Odysseus looked exhausted, there were dark circles underneath his eyes. There was fear in his eyes and also horror. Clutched to his chest was the same bad that he had on Aeolus's island only now it was slightly deflated.

"Ruthlessness is mercy upon oursel-" Poseidon's words got cut off in a rush of wind that changed the scene.

Odysseus now stood in an elegant room battling the imprisoned daughter of Helios, Circe.

Circe's eyes glowed gold with her magic and divine birth. With her magic she created a chimera that stood in front of Circe.

The way that Odysseus looked sent shivers down Athena's spine. He still had the dark eye bags beneath his eyes and looked disheveled but he doesn't look actually tired. His vein's glowed white under the power of the Molly that he had eaten likely what was filling him with energy. Odysseus had his sword drawn pointed at Circe and behind him stood a large cyclops glowing white from the magic of the molly.

"One wrong move and you're done for, anything I-" Circe was cut off by the scene changing again.

This scene was slightly fuzzy around the edges. This was due to Odysseus being in Hades' domain and outside the sight of the Olympian gods. She could still make out Odysseus standing in front of a cloaked shade that seemed to be feeding off of blood.

Odysseus's eyes were bloodshot and still had dark circles underneath them.

"Song of past romance, I see the-" the shade started.

The scene changes were getting faster. Clearly these events were happening back to back.

Odysseus and his men stood on the deck of the ship clearly back to the realm of the living. They each had their weapons drawn. In the center of the deck laid a pile of five sirens. Each of them on the top part took the image of some of the crews wives or lovers including Penelope, the bottom half though was a tail revealing these women as monsters.

Odysseus's skin had taken on a sickly hue. His eyes still had bags and bloodshot. The men around him charged forward at the sirens.

"We won't take more suffering from you," Odysseus's crew said.

The scene changed this one was covered in shadows. Athena couldn't make out much details with Odysseus as the six torches were behind him. Though she could make out in the light that Odysseus was shaking slightly despite his grip on the rails of the ship and his complexion seemed to remain pale. She could see that Odysseus's blood shot eyes were focused on the water in front of them filled with pain and determination.

Then Scylla rose up from the water. Her heads attacking each of the men with the torches slowly snuffing out their lights.

"Drown in your sorrow and fears," Scylla sang.

The scene changed again. They were on the ship but a storm was over them with lightning frequently flashing. Her father hovered above the ship facing Odysseus's second in command Eurylochus.

Athena gasped at how awful Odysseus looked. It was clear that he had lost some weight likely due to malnourishment. His skin was still pale with his eyes still bloodshot with bags underneath him. On his side were hazardously tied bandages that were stained red and had puss from an ill treated wound. He was tied to the mast of the ship and that was clearly the only thing keeping Odysseus from crumbling to the ground.

"Eurylochus," Odysseus pleaded. His voice barely carried over the sound of the storm and the waves it was so weak.

"I have to save them, Ody," Eurylochus said.

He didn't look at his captain. He only kept his eyes on Zeus. He pointed over at Odysseus. Dread filled Athena at the action.

Resignation filled Odysseus's face. Her father gathered a yellow lightning bolt in his hands.

"Please, Eury, …"

Athena screamed. This shattered the hour glass causing sand and shards of glass to spray around her mind.

Athena collapsed onto her knees sobbing. She couldn't watch anymore certainly not with no ability to change anything. Seven years, he has been dead now and Athena knew nothing. She could have saved him so many times, but she didn't.

Now Odysseus has a watery grave and his family knows nothing of it. His son will have to fight tooth and nail to try and pry his birth right from his mother's suitors. Penelope will be forced to remarry.

Athena pushed down her grief and guilt. There was nothing she can do to fix this. She stood back up and repaired her realm. There were some shades of red that colored the background but she paid those no mind. She can't fix the past but she can bring at least one of his killers to justice.

"Odysseus, I swear to you that I will make Eurylochus of Same pay for his choice."

#epic the musical #epic #epic athena #epic musical #epic odysseus #epic circe #epic aeolus #epic poseidon #epic scylla #epic eurylochus #fan fic #fan fiction

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violentkisses999 · 3 months ago

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only you can convince octavia to have mercy on her opposers.

all night, your lover laid awake, her arms around you securely. no matter when or where, she had always felt the need to protect you.

no barriers of fabrics covered your bodies. octavia's bare chest pressed against your back. her biceps still as tense as they were when she joined you in bed. her thumb kneaded at the pudge of your belly.

you were so soft and sheltered. she couldn't remember the last time she had seen your skin deeply wounded, and she liked it that way. may whatever supreme being above have mercy on the fool who blew at the flame that kept her going, because she wouldn't.

she decided that you weren't fit for war. you thrived the most in front of a computer. you did more for your people when your fingers were racing across keys at the speed of light. on the ark, computer coding was just a class you were good at. it also happened to be the skill that came most in handy on the ground.

octavia didn't know how you did it. you were a hero to so many people that would never even know your name. watching you save more lives than she could take with the click of a few buttons was always so satisfying.

she mindlessly nudged at the nape of your neck with the tip of her nose. your fresh scent fogged her senses in a way that she easily submitted to. she could stay lost in your presence all night, but alas, duty called.

a mission in polis: another ambassador of king roan sticking their nose where it shouldn't be. soon, they won't have any business of their own to mind.

kane suggested that it wasn't in her best interest to go through with it. he told her that the killings would be for nothing once roan knows the truth.

she knew this, but she was burdened with one purpose: to protect. whether it be a grounder or an arkadian, no more of her friends would die. if that meant killing anyone that threatened roan, she's willing to live with their deaths.

with that in mind, she left you lying in bed with a gentle kiss along your hairline. she was careful to not dip the bed as she lifted herself. her sharp eyes tracked the slow rise and fall of your waist to be sure you hadn't awoken.

the pale moonlight was all that assisted her search for her belongings. sneakily, she maneuvered herself into her armor. she was struggling to find her boots. she throws them in the same place every night, how could they just-

"there better be a warm bed for you in polis." octavia's search was cut short by your fried voice. she could've sworn she felt something thud in her neck as she twisted to look at you. you were still in the same position. your back to her. however, the quickened rise and fall of your waist didn't slip past her.

she quickly gathered herself to respond. she was so startled, she asked, "what are you sayi-"

you didn't even let her finish her question before continuing, "if you leave me here tonight, i'm not letting you back in."

to anyone else, you just sounded pissed off and stern. but octavia wasn't just 'anyone else'. she could hear the well hidden sobs and the slight stuffiness in your voice.

you were... crying. her eyes softened and all of a sudden, she wasn't so determined to leave.

the sound of metal clanking with metal could be heard as her jacket fell to the floor. her now free hands flew to encase the hill of your hips, her knee pressing a dip into the mattress as she sat beside you. as if you'd break under pressure, she carefully turned you to lay on your back.

once she saw your face practically soaked in tears, her heart shattered into a million pieces. she ran calloused thumbs over your moonlit tears.

"my baby," she whispered as she lowered her forehead to rest on yours.

your shaking hands clutched the leather of her armor, you drug them over her arms. it seemed as if the sight of her fully clothed was enough to break your resolve, because you broke into heavy sobs right then. your shoulders shook as you whimpered, "please, don't leave."

you were begging her to listen to kane. even though you didn't see eye to eye with the man most of the time, this was one thing that the two of you agreed upon.

listening to you bawling seemed to cease the war in her mind. she swiftly pressed her lips against yours, swallowing your cries. as she pulled away, her nose nudging yours, she eased her palms over the crown of your head, pulling your hair out of your face.

"i'm not going anywhere." her cracked lips welded with yours once again. the sigh you released tickled her face beautifully.

and just like that, she remembered why you were her first priority. how could she forget?

"ai hod yu in."

about me main masterlist

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eldritchdiplomacy · 1 year ago

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Bottom Table OT3: The Playlist

We, like Jinnah, will mourn our lads forever

(click for song explanations!)

Take Me Out To The Ball Game - Ed Meeker

"Eldritch Harrahs," He says, fingering the bright red laces on a baseball like a rosary

Team - Lorde

Classic poly theme, living in ruins.

"And everyone's competing For a love they won't receive 'Cause what this palace wants is release."

Ravenous - Autumn Orange

Impeccible vibes.

Eat Your Young - Hozier

Post-war heroes left in slums with their ghosts

"Come and get some Skinnin' the children for a war drum Puttin' food on the table, sellin' bombs and guns It's quicker and easier to eat your young"

Rhiannon - Fleetwood Mac

A shiny jade jewel in said slums

"She rings like a bell through the night And wouldn't you love to love her? She rules her life like a bird in flight And who will be her lover?"

Boats & Birds - Gregory & The Hawk

Children without souls

"If you'll be my boat, I'll be your sea A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity Ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze I live to make you free, I live to make you free…"

Hearts a Mess - Gotye

Sean Fucking Finnerty

"You have lost too much love To fear, doubt and distrust, it's not enough You just threw away the key to your heart Don't get burned 'cause nothing gets through It makes it easier, easier on you That much more difficult for me To make you see."

Love In The Time Of Socialism - Yellow House

Teenagers all in love with each other

"But I am home wherever you are near There's no life in anything When you're not here."

Whatever Fits Together - Skullcrusher

I mean…

"Do you ever look back? Does it all fit together? If we're here, does it matter? (If we're here, does it matter?)"

Marked For Death - Emma Ruth Rundle

Marion & Jean

"Who else is going to love someone like me that’s marked for death? Who else is going to be with me when I breathe it all?"

Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - The Decemberists

Marion & Sean

"And here I dreamt I was a soldier And I marched the streets of Birkenau And I recall in spring The perfume that the air would bring To the indolent town Where the barkers call the moon down The carnival was ringing loudly now And just to lay with you There's nothing that I wouldn't do Save lay my rifle down"

Hard Times - Ethel Cain

The Exorcists' Daughter

"Tell me a story About how it ends Where you're still the good guy I'll make pretend 'Cause I hate this story Where happiness ends And dies with you."

Edith's Theme - Crimson Peak

The Lighthouse

Say Yes To Heaven - Lana Del Rey

Sean & Jean

"If you go, I'll stay You come back, I'll be right here Like a barge at sea In the storm, I stay clear 'Cause I've got my mind on you I've got my mind on you…"

Sunlight - Hozier

Sean & Jean & Marion

"All the tales the same Told before and told again A soul that’s born in cold and rain Knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight And, at last, can grant a name To a buried and a burning flame As love and its decisive pain Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight."

Your Protector - Fleet Foxes

The Circle of Needle & Thread

"As you lay to die beside me, baby On the morning that you came Would you wait for me? The other one would wait for me."

The Mother Road - Chelsea Wolfe

The doc who knows she'll never lead a normal life, have a normal love.

"I do not have a child But I'm old enough to know some pain And I'm hell-bent on loving you Women know what it is to endure."

Running Up That Hill - Placebo

All too stubborn to let each other die.

"Oh, come on, baby Oh, come on, darlin' Let me steal this moment from you now Oh, come on, angel Come on, come on, darlin' Let's exchange the experience…"

A Vampire's Heart - Peter Gundry

Doplegangers

Cosmic Love - Florence + The Machine

Jean, Sean, & Marion

"I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map And knew that somehow I could find my way back Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too So I stayed in the darkness with you…"

Oh, To Dream Of Such Eldritch Things - Autumn Orange

The Compromised Lightkeeper

A Shot Rang Out - Emily Jane White

Sean FUCKING Finnerty, Marion, Jean

"Dreamers we aren't few But I don’t want to bury my dreams with you."

The Ghost On The Shore - Lord Huron

Man down

"Die if I must, let my bones turn to dust I'm the lord of the lake and I don't want to leave it…"

Call Your Mom - Noah Kahan

You can't do this to Peggy, bud.

"Medicate, meditate, save your soul for Jesus Throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason Don't wanna drive another mile without knowin' you're breathin' So won't you stay, won't you stay, won't you stay with me?"

Funeral - Phoebe Bridgers

War boys wearing the same face, so many hearts.

"And last night, I blacked out in my car And I woke up in my childhood bed Wishing I was someone else, feeling sorry for myself When I remembered someone's kid is dead…"

Francesca - Hozier

Jean & Marion re: Sean

"Now that it's done There's not one thing that I would change My life was a storm since I was born How could I fear any hurricane?"

Is Your Love Strong Enough? - GWTDT

"Just one beat of your heart And stranger than fantasy I knew from the start It had to be the place for me Someone that I would die for There's no way I could ever leave."

Death With Dignity - Sufjan Stevens

The Survivor

"Spirit of my silence I can hear you, but I'm afraid to be near you And I don't know where to begin And I don't know where to begin…"

My Love - Florence + The Machine

The Next Step

"My arms emptied, the skies emptied The buildings emptied…"

#candela obscura #candela obscura spoilers #bottom table ot3 #ot3: veterans’ affairs #marion collodi #sean finnerty #jinnah basar

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thecapricunt1616 · 9 months ago

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The Bear & His Honey - Lucky 13

♡ Chapter Inspo: Lyrics; "You are in Love" (Taylors Version) “You understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars, and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words.”

♡ Summary: Carmy is filling in on 'The Jimmy Kimmel Show' for a sick guest that couldn't come, He stumbles in to Winnie's absolute favorite person- and is able to treat her to a night she won't ever forget.

♡ W/C: 24,019

♡ Posted Date: 03/13/2024

♡ A/N: Welcome to Lucky 13! I wanted to give you all a taste of what Carm+Winnie will be at some point. This chapter will have very little angst, & have mostly sickeningly sweet fluffy goodness! This is set at least 1.5 years in the future from the last chapter. This is kinda a “one shot” in a way, in the TB&HH Universe, I have been thinking of this chapter for a while, and it would make my heart sing for Carmy to have a night out with his favorite people & get to relax, and just be in love. Also- in this, Carmy has been attending group weekly, and learning more so how to express his feelings. I’m also excited to show my idea of how Carm would show a big romantic gesture like the one in this chapter, and just overall make himself feel really proud for showing Winnie how much she means to him. Also- alot of things in this chapter (french speaking, JKS interview, etc) will make sense very soon!!! I just- it's too cute not to include hahahah I hope you enjoy this chapter :)) Also, the way while editing (I'm listening to TS obvi) - but genuinely as i'm editing them talking about the different songs- they were COMING ON SHUFFLEEEE!! That woman is a WITCH i tell you

♡ Warnings for BTC: Smut, Swearing - 'tis all *** Any dialogue that has ( ) after, is translation from French to English!! :) ***

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂��𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

If you like this story, please click #TB&HHPoll in the tags, & vote on the questions asked <3

𝒞𝒶𝓇𝓂'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱.🧸

“Okay-okay baby- ask them!” I plead, Winnie gave me her adorable little frisky grin.

“Ours... vous savez si vous êtes nerveux, ils peuvent le dire, et vous vous sentirez embarrassé après- respirer à treize pour votre Miel, s’il vous, plaît…?” - (Bear... you know if you're nervous, they can tell, and you'll feel embarrassed after- breathe to thirteen for your Honey, please...)

She put her hand on my cheek and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and silently counting to 13, taking a deep breath every odd number I counted in my mind, just like she’d taught me.

“C'est mon bon garçon…Mon sexy homme…” (That’s my good boy…my sexy man…) she said gently as I exhaled.

“Now, like we said, imagine it’s me asking you all these stupid questions, they won’t go off script, Ours (Bear)! Ils ont promise qu’ils ne le feront pas (they promised they wouldn’t).. S’you just have to say the exact same answers we rehearsed the last two weeks, oui?” She cupped my cheeks, stroking my cheekbones gently with her thumbs.

“Oui,” I whisper. “me poser leur première question” (Ask me the first question), I muttered nervously, relishing in the feeling of her cool fingers against my hot cheeks, giving me at least a small sense of relief.

Thankfully - When being asked to be a fill-in guest on The Jimmy Kimmel Show - they'd prepped me- us- with questions they’d be asking, so I wasn’t a blubbering mess on live tv.

“So, Carmen, you are notorious in the kitchen industry, for calling all of your back of-house staff - Chef, as a term of endearment, or- furthermore a term of respect… Now that you’re so widely known at least in the Chicago area- but even more so the greater North America region, as being a very widely appreciated Chef, “ she giggled adorably, looking at me through her lashes before continuing.

“Does everyone that recognizes you on the street, and call you by your title of Chef? Maybe…Executive Chef Carmen? Do they treat you differently?” She asked with a cheeky grin.

I held back the urge to tease and joke with her, clearing my throat and trying to remember the answer we’d come up with together.

“Yes, Chef” I joked, giving her a playful smirk. “I notice when we- er- fuck sorry baby-“ I shook my head, looking at my lap nervously, biting the inside of my lip, squeezing her thigh.

“Ours” (Bear) she said softly, stroking the back of my hand the way that made my heart thump so hard it felt like it’d jump out of my chest, and I look up at her, my eyes bouncing between the freckles on her cheeks, every other thought dissolving like sand through my fingers.

“Allez, Ours, Tu vas y’ arriver.” (C’mon, Bear, You got this) she whispered, squeezing my hand assuringly.

I cleared my throat, newfound confidence due to her belief I could nail this coursing through me.

“My girl and I,” I continued confidently, “ “When we go out, especially in Chicago, or The City, but really any big city- people are more apt to give me a table if I call, So…She calls most of the time- and when we get there…the Exec. usually comes out to greet me after we’re settled, and tell me the meals no charge, but- My girl and I like a true experience, she keeps me honest” I leaned forward, pecking her lips gently and she smiles wide.

“Coeur faible connard” (soft-hearted asshole) she teased gently, mushing her nose with mine sweetly before stealing another kiss.

“Sorry-“ I pulled away teasingly “So…I shouldn’t offer a kiss to the host? Ce serait trop, bien?” (it’d be too much, right?) I joked and she rolled her eyes, grabbing my collar and pulling me back to her lips- kissing me hungrily.

“These lips are mine. Only mine” she mumbles before kissing me again. I smiled into her lips, rubbing my hands down her hips and squeezing the flesh beneath her dress gently.

“Mmm- baby” I pull away gently. “They said 15 minutes 4 minutes ago, I’gotta get mic’d.” I rest my forehead on hers and she cupped my cheeks, planting gentle sweet kisses all over my face.

“Remember” she said between various smooches over my face. “I’ll be in the first row” more kisses “5th seat from the left” kiss, kiss, kiss - “look at me if you get scared ” - kiss, kiss - “I’m with you the whole time.” One final lingering, sweet kiss on my lips. “You’re goin’ out there to kick ass and take names, Bear. Nos âmes sont toujours liées ensemble…” (Remember that our souls are always tied together…)

“Right” I said softly, looking up at her, memorizing each freckle adorning her cheeks for the millionth time. “Bien, Nos âmes sont à jamais liées, Chérie.” (Right, our souls are bound forever, Sweetheart.) I said lovingly, playing with the ends of her auburn curls between my nervous fingers.

She leans in, barely brushing my lips. “What do we say?” She whispers, so close her lips catch mine as she spoke.

“Laisse-le déchirer” (Let it rip) I said softly into her lips before kissing her passionately.

“Oui, Mon Ours. Laisse-le déchirer” (Yes, My Bear, Let it rip.) She said softly when she pulled away, gently running her knuckle over the veins of my neck, the action she only did while utterly exhausted, overly horny, or unable to mess with my hair.

“Je t’aime, mon miel” (I love you, my Honey) I whispered softly into her skin, feeling her gently rub over my back with her nails.

“Fais confiance en ton instincts et lâches-vous, Ours.” (Trust your instincts, and let go, Bear) She said softly into my ear.

I swallow tightly, racking over my brain through all the French she’d taught me- coming up blank, other instincts, and my own name.

“Mon instincts en bon pour votre ours?” (My instincts are good for your Bear?) I questioned softly, kissing her collarbone gently.

She giggles, “Trust your instincts- Fais confiance en ton instincts- And let go- et lâches-vous, Mon Ours.” (My Bear) She kisses my forehead sweetly

I swallowed thickly, nodding a bit and looking up at her through my lashes.

“Je te promets…Je vais suivre mon instincts” (I promise you…I’ll follow my instincts) I mutter into her skin as she gently strokes my cheek, my eyes fluttering shut at the soft touch.

“Je crois en toi, Mon Ours. Je crois en toi.” (I believe in you, My bear, I believe in you.) she whispered, rubbing soothing circles into my back.

“Tu me fais croire en moi, mon miel.” (You make me believe in myself, my honey) I kiss her neck gently and there was a soft tap at the door.

“Come In?” I said, the door creaking open a bit.

Were interrupted by a short brunette in a black T-Shirt and jeans, wearing a stage headset. “Mr.Berzatto, you’re live in 15 minutes…we need to get you mic’d - we can have a stage manager take your…wife…down to the family and friends section, her seat’s been reserved” A bright blush came to my cheeks at the assumption.

“Je crois en toi, Mon Ours” (I believe in you, my bear). Winnie said, getting off my lap and smoothing her dress down.

I gently tug down the hem of her dress out of habit, “Merci miel. Je t'aime tellement bébé. Je te chercherai, oui ?” (Thank you honey, I love you so much, baby. I’ll be looking for you, yeah?) I said, smoothing out the silky fabric over her bum and she nods, smiling big.

“Si tu fais le bien ce soir, je te laisserai m’avoir comme tu veux, Mon Sexy Chef Italien…” (If you do well tonight, I’ll let you have me any way you want, my sexy Italian Chef…) she whispered in my ear and my eyebrows raised, firey goosebumps rising from my neck to my ankles.

“Mmmm- Oui? Petit diable sexy…” (Yeah? Sexy little devil…) I said softly into her neck, patting her bum gently. “Tu dois juste bien te tenir une heure, bebe, être une bonne fille - Je serai alors vôtre, mon monde” (You only have to behave for an hour, baby, then I’m all yours- my world.)

She giggles, pulling away, “Not whore baby, say it like Taylor- say era” she said and my cheeks heat.

“Vraiment Bebe? Maintenant? Cours de français?” (Really Baby? French lessons? Now?) I ask as I rolled my eyes slightly, a smirk dancing on my lips.

“Très bien, pas maintenant. Laisse-le déchirer, Mon Ours.” (Fine, not now, let it rip, Bear) she said, tucking her purse under her arm and I actually roll my eyes.

“Pas maintenant?” (Not now?) I huff frustratedly, again not understanding the new word.

“Seigneur! Vous avez besoin d’une leçon de Français, cela signifiait - ‘ not now’ - Dork.” (Jesus! You need a French lesson, I said - ‘Fine, not now’ - Dork!) she pinched my cheek gently.

“God, je vous aime tellement.” (God, I love you so much.) I kiss her lips tenderly. The woman at the door clears her throat.

“Mr.Berzatto…sorry to interrupt, but you’re live in 13 minutes and-” Winnie cuts her off.

“and where is my escort?” She chirps with a friendly smile, turning around on the ball of her foot to face her.

“Uh- Sorry- they…Um…gimme a second” she quickly turned, walking down the hall briskly.

“Ahhh” Winnie said, plopping back in my lap comfortably. “Nous avons maintenant le temps pour une leçon de français, Ours!” (Now we have time for a French lesson, Bear!) she chirps and looks back at me.

I snort through my nose, “Tu as vu à quelle vitesse ils se….” (You saw how quickly they…) I try to think of the word, looking up at the ceiling and biting my lip. “se déplacer!!! Se déplacer ici, bébé” (Move!!! Move around here, baby.) I smile proudly and pat her side. “Tu vois, je peux être intelligent!” (See, I can be smart!).

“Mmm, je savais que tu es intelligent, mais nous devons travailler à renforcer ce triste ego, Ours” (Mmm, I knew you're smart, but we must work on strengthening that sad ego, Bear) she said and I crinkle my eyebrows, sad ego was all I really understood.

“Je comprends - ‘ l’ego intelligent, et triste ‘ – mais que signifie - ‘nous devons…ahhh- travailler? pour nous renforcer’?” (I understand the smart, and sad ego- but what does ‘we must work on … ahh - our confidence?’ mean?) I question, squeezing her waist gently. I knew she’d only give a proper lesson, if I was responding to her questions in French with what I knew.

“Ahhhh, Bon Ours ! 'nous devons travailler’ est ‘we must work’, ‘à renforcer ce’ est ‘to strengthen this’ “ (Ahhhh, Good Bear! We must work, to strengthen this) She said, pleased with my answer. I pat her hip gently, happy with the praise i’d earned.

“Tu es ma force Chérie…Mon tout” (You’re my strength, Honey...My everything) I said resting my forehead on hers. She puckered her lips and I lean in, giving her a sweet kiss.

“Hi! Mr.Berzatto- you’re on in 9, Mrs.Berzatto, I’m here to escort you to your seat.” A small blonde, dressed in the same black T-Shirt and Jeans the last person to interrupt us was.

“Je t'aime ours, souviens-toi de ce que dit Mikey” (I love you Bear, remember what Mikey would say) she said sweetly, getting up and pecking my lips.

I smiled softly, giving her one of the first lines she’d taught me in response. “On se reverra bientôt, bébé” (Meet again soon, baby). She smiled proudly, squeezing my hand before heading off with the blonde.

The brunette girl returned not to shortly after, connecting a mic under my shirt right below my throat, and leading me through the corridors. As we head down the hall, I heard an all too familiar laugh… Not one that I’d heard personally, but one that I’d heard hundreds of times while falling asleep on Winnies TV or her phone.

I stopped dead in my tracks, my head snapping towards the door that the sound came from. ‘JKS - SPECIAL GUEST - TAS ‘ A plain sheet of printer paper that was taped to the door read.

I blink a few times, reading over the paper 5 times, eyes almost popping out of my skull - TAS.

I reach out, grabbing the shoulder of the woman escorting me backstage. “T-A-S?!” I whisper shout at her. She quickly got the message.

“Oh- you didnt know” she said stupidly, looking at the door then me.

“I have to meet her” I whispered, a plan forming quickly in my mind. She smiled and nodded, looking at her watch.

“If she wants to meet you, sure, but you got a max of 4 minutes.” she said casually and my jaw drops.

That worked?!

I nodded quickly in response, trying to find words that wouldn’t embarrass Winnie, as she steps forward much too casually for my taste, and just knocks on the door.

“It’s unlocked!” the same voice I knew all too well calls and she looks at me, extending her hand towards the door.

“Shes a real sweetheart, but super chatty, so like I said- y’get four minutes.” she said and I swallowed thickly, fuck, I am supposed to open the dressing room door to the most famous popstar on Earth?! If I offend her, Winnie will absolutely break up with me.

I took a deep breath, looking at her momentarily before twisting the door handle. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, my heart was in my throat.

Jesus Christ, I don’t fuckin care about this girl, I just care I make sure Winnie and Sadie have a seat at her show tomorrow night.

She looks up as the door opens, blue eyes meeting mine. “Oh! Hey! You’re that guy getting interviewed? The chef,right? My boyfriend has been dying to try your restaurant! He just hates asking for favors, so he hasn’t called to rent it out- I hear you’re super awesome! Oh my god- so sorry. I’m Taylor, it’s nice to meet you!” she said casually, sticking her hand out for me to shake.

It took insane amounts of casualty to not allow my jaw to fully unhinge at the sight of her. Winnie was right- she doesn’t edit her pictures - shes tall as fuck - shes like.. Taller then me?

I clear my throat, standing up a bit straighter, trying to find some semblance of self-control. “Yup- thats me, Carmen, Uh- Carmen Berzatto” I shake her hand, “Yeah- uh- wow….means alot, he’s on the uh- The Chiefs right?” I asked and she nods, smiling.

“Yup! Travis, I just sing- he’s so awesome, He loves Italian food even more than the field I think, ever since he saw that podcast you were on he's been stalking your menu! ” she giggled and I raised my eyebrows. She just sings?

“Uh- my girlfriend…Yeah- yeah…I don’t wanna embarrass her, but uh- Y’know, I could totally give you and your boyfriend any night you could possibly want, like- the whole restaurant, just you guys- me and my right hand will personally make your meals - fully on the house, If you’d do me like…..one little favor-but it’s… it’s fine- if not…” I said and she stands a bit straighter.

“I love helping, what can I do?” she grins. Why the fuck does she seem so normal…and nice aren’t popstars supposed to be bitchy mean-girls that would’ve made fun of me in high school?

“my girlfriend- she like…worships you- fuck - not like a weird way - you just like…inspire her? Like? Alot- Your songs, uh- fuck- hold on…Fearless, I know thats one… uh- Sparks Fly? Oh! That one too um with the guitar...Mine? I think? And then- Oh! The Archer - she loves that one, and then I only know 2 others she really likes - sad ones….Bon Iver? With that dude” I questioned and she nods

“Mmhmm! I think…Exile and Evermore” she nods and I snap.

“Thats it! Those ones- those are like…she loves you- she’s been…she’s been trying to get tickets for her and her best friend to your New York show this weekend since you announced it, she- fuck- she’d kill me if she knew I told you, but she’s cried because she didn’t get the tickets, shes been trying so hard and-”

“How many?” said the ginger sat next to her on the couch that was silent until now, and simply pretending I wasnt there while tapping away on a laptop. I look at her, slightly taken back it was that easy to convince her? Them both?!

“Uh-” I think for a moment- just fuckin send it, Carmen. If you’re gonna ask for a favor- ask for a damn favor. “F-Five? Like- f’me, and her, and - and she wants her best friend there, a-and-” the redhead interrupts me again.

“Done, Left of the diamond good? Second row? There is no row one” she questions

“Gosh Tree! Can you let him talk? Sorry about her, shes a time freak” Taylor scolds, looking back at me, “We would love to have you there, and I’d totally like to talk to your girlfriend when me and Trav decide to come by- she sounds super cool!” she said as the brunette tugged at my sleeve.

“Mr.Berzatto, sorry- 3 minutes till you’re live, we have to go.” she said and I nod.

“Thank you- Uh, Taylor,” What the fucking shit- I’ve stared at this woman nearly every night on Winnies phone screen - now shes just here , in front of me?!

“Course! Super excited to try out your restaurant- Tree will call” she said as the brunette woman tugs my sleeve harder, dragging me out the door.

Suddenly, I got the urge to tell her the thought that had been swarming in my head whenever we watched her tour movie for the past year. Even though we’d already were headed down the hall, her dressing room was still wide open so she’d hear me.

“The way you set up the ‘Tolerate It’ song is awesome, the whole performance is super touching- You have a great voice!!! But you kinda remind me of our cat when you knock the stuff off the table! Also- erm- f’r Winnie since she’d kill me if I didn’t say- Play Sparks Fly, And Mine- and Evermore all the way, please.” I called to her quickly as I was dragged away down the hal by the brunettel, hearing Taylor laugh loudly in response, causing a blush to form on my cheeks.

Winnie would be beyond pleased to know I got her to laugh.

“Done! And Thank you, Chef! I love Cats!!!” she called after us and I smiled wide.

“I know, Winnie told me! She loves Law and Order too! Olivia is a great name, my Niece is named Olivia!” I call back and I heard her laugh again.

What the actual fuck- Taylor Swift?! I just spoke to Taylor Swift!? Why do I feel…Starstruck? Jesus Christ I owe Richie for telling me to pack Winnie’s special concert bodysuit she's been working on forever just in case I found tickets for them.

“Here’s Berzatto sorry hes late- Main act wanted to talk to him- he’s live in 45” the brunette told the large guy she’d dropped me off in front of.

He quickly checks me over, adjusting my jacket without asking, and rolling over my sleeve quickly with a lint roller and strapping a mic pack to my back under my jacket, quickly connecting it to the wire under my shirt. “On your name, wave, smile, walk” he said.

“Alright We have Berzatto comin’ out- Live in 5, 4, 3, 2” he said into his headset, backing away from me quickly and the curtain started to draw.

My eyes dart over the crowd, the lights were blinding, music started and my mind swarms.

What the literal fuck- what the fuck - Wheres Honey? - I just met Taylor Swift? I'm about to be on live TV - Don’t fuck this up, be like Mikey, listen to Winnie - Breathe to 13.

My thoughts continued to race as the my eyes adjusted to the lights that were revealed from behind the curtain. “And Welcome Chicagos Favorite Chef- Carmen Berzatto! “ Jimmy said and just like the man ordered a few moments prior, On my name I started heading towards the arm chair, smiling and waving at the live audience as I was told.

By the time I’d shook his hand and sat down, I felt numb- The answers to the questions Winnie and I had drilled to my head, swarming like an angry swarm of bees.

“So, if you don’t know Carmen, Hes a Chef Prodigy from Chicago- he has two Michelin stars and isn’t even 30 as of yet, he has won the James Beard foundation award for up-and-coming chef as well as took home the award for the best new restaurant, all while he’s only been in the industry less than ten years,”

He continued talking as I scanned for Winnie. When I finally settled on her face I relax a bit, being able to think. She smiles wide when our eyes meet, blowing me kisses and waving excitedly. I couldn’t contain my smile as I look back over at him.

“So, Carmen, Welcome, we’ve been told you’ve never done a live interview before - but you have been to plenty of award shows, you’ve been on red carpets, done podcasts over the past year- and I must say, on behalf of the public- you are one snappy dresser, please, tell us about the suit” he said and I chuckled a bit.

“Yeah- thank you again for having me, It’s different being in front of a live audience but I’m honored to have even gotten the invite. But, uh- I really like Calvin Klein, their suits are just fantastic. My uh- my girlfriend though she’s the one who usually picks out my outfits for stuff like this, I trust er more then myself a lot of the time.” I said, my eyes finding hers again and she mouths an ‘I love you!’ Holding a hand heart up for me causing me to smile bigger.

“Thats right! We have your girlfriend here Winnie is it?” He asked and my cheeks go pink I thought they promised they wouldn’t go off script?!

“Yeah! Winnie,I could talk about her forever - she’s uh…she’s really special.” My eyes find hers again to see her blowing me more kisses. My heart flutters wildly she’s so perfect.

“I assure you, my wife dresses me too i’m sure most of our male guests are dressed by their women” He chuckles, getting a laugh from the crowd. “So tell us,” he continued “You had won the ‘Best New Restaurant’ last year at the James beard awards, congratulations on that!” he said and he and the crowd clap, the teleprompter putting up a picture of The Bear that we had on our website to show us it would be on screen.

“Now, i’d assume you get special treatment whenever you take the missus for a date night out on the town, right?” He asks and I chuckle, nodding a bit.

“Right, right - so uh when I call especially around Chicago I mean” I shrug “most of the Execs are my peers so - of course we’re gonna get a table pretty easy. But I was actually surprised when we came back to the city this only the second time I’ve been back since I left to uh, head back home t’Chicago and open The Bear, but when my girl and I were out a few nights ago, we were just walkin around Soho cause she loves shopping and I love to spoil her even more of course,” I said, earning a few ‘aw’ sounds from the crowd “and we pass this group of guys, and one of em just goes ‘Yo! Sup Chef’ and I turned around cause I thought y’know- I’d know them from culinary school or one of my old gigs, and he just goes ‘Dude your hot ones interview was insane you’re a beast’ and ahh I didn’t really know what to say I’ve never been like recognized like that before” I said and he nods with a chuckle.

“Speaking of your Hot Ones interview- that has blown up since you’d done it 4 months ago- it’s currently sitting at 17 million views, You’d filmed that here in the City, So in New York do they usually give you a table? Give you free meals all that like back in Chicago?” He questions.

“Well I like to try and keep it fair, fair as I can that is. So my girl, she calls up for us, usually puts the table under her name. But uh- yeah, yeah. We do get treated nice, they’ll bring out new stuff for us to try or give us a nice bottle of wine, which is great cause honey is a big red wine lover” I said my eyes flicking to her to see she was blushing, a wide proud smile plastered along her features, bringing a heat to my cheeks.

After the interview was over, I was escorted back to my dressing room and found an envelope waiting for me at the dressing table. I walked over and opened it, taking out five row 2 tickets for tomorrow nights Taylor show.

“Holy shit” I whispered to myself, staring at them in shock. She actually got me the tickets. Does this mean she’s really gonna come by the restaurant?! Winnie’s gonna flip. Fuck- we have to get back to the hotel or with all the excitement she’s gonna be exhausted and pissy on the flight home.

I heard my favorite thing in the world in the hallway, Winnie’s voice. I quickly tucked the tickets back in the envelope safely, and put it hidden in my inside breast pocket for safe keeping.

“Bearrr!” Winnie said excitedly as she opened the door before rushing over to me. I wrap my arms around her tightly, picking her up and spinning her around causing her to giggle “you did amazing ours (bear) so so amazing I’m so proud of you” she kisses all over my face and I smile, closing my eyes and relishing in her praise and attention.

“I love you baby, so much” I kiss her lips sweetly, wrapping her legs around my hips and hiking her up further on my waist. “I missed you” I said when I pull away, kissing down her neck and over her bare shoulder.

She giggled “I was right there, baby! The whole time” she runs her fingers through my hair and I hum at the feeling of her nails scratching that spot next to my ear.

“Mm you weren’t in my lap though” I said and sit on the couch, my hands rubbing over her thighs and her arms, anywhere I could feel her soft, supple skin.

“Were still going to that bar right?! You deserve to celebrate baby.” She said, playing with my hair gently. I adjusted her C pendant around her neck I’d gotten her when we started officially dating, trying to think up a quick excuse, she’s gonna need a lot of sleep for tomorrow I don’t want her grumpy and tired at the concert.

“I dunno baby…I think let’s just go back to the hotel yeah? Got up early this mornin’ wouldn’t you rather get some pizza and mozzarella sticks and watch a movie? Mm? We can cuddle? Have a nice bath?” I rub her arm and she pouted a bit.

“Okay, can we go tomorrow though?” She asks and I nod

“Course Mon Monde” (my world) I whisper and kiss her lips gently.

By the time we got back to the hotel it was already midnight, and I could tell by the way she was walking her heels were hurting her badly by now on the walk up to our room.

“Gotta get y’outta those shoes baby, y’re hips buggin’ you?” I ask, wrapping my arm securely around her waist. If I wasn’t holding the food, I’d already be carrying her.

“Mmhmm, tired too. Glad we didn’t go out” she leans into me as the elevator doors closed and I smooched her temple.

“Y’think I can’t tell when you’re exhausted, baby?” I teased, rubbing her side gently and she smiles.

“Yeahhh, yeah. But we rarely get to go out, Bear. You’re too busy, I love going out with you, you’re a fun dance partner” she said looking up at me with a tired smile.

I felt a blush creeping to my cheeks, smiling big. “I’ll only ever dance for you, my love” I kiss her forehead gently. When we got to the room, I set the boxes of food on the bed and helped her unzip her dress, grabbing her pajamas for her “get comfy princess” I told her before grabbing my grey sweatpants and white T shirt, shrugging off my jacket.

“You look really sexy in that suit, baby. I wanna see you in suits more often, hopefully this interview will lead to more live ones…y’did so so sooo good bear, everyone was laughin’ and they really seemed t’like you” she slips off her bra, putting on my old ‘the beef’ shirt and some Nike leggings.

“Thank you angel, it’s just really fuckin stressful” I said and started to unbutton my shirt.

“I know, but no one is as good at handling stress then you, bear. You’re strong. Mon gros ours fort” (my big strong bear) she comes over, untucking my shirt and unbuttoning it the rest of the way. “Mmm you’re lucky there’s pizza waiting and I hate when it’s cold” she kisses down my neck while rubbing her hands over my bare chest and I smile, rubbing her back gently, caressing over the scar on her hip with my thumb.

“Tu es une vilaine petit fille” (you are such a naughty little girl) I spank her gently and she giggles, looking up at me with those fuckin bedroom eyes she always did.

“je suis ta petite pute, chef” (I’m your little whore, chef) she said, leaning in and kissing me deeply. I chuckle softly in to her mouth, squeezing her bum.

“Tu as une bouche bien sale, Bebe” (you have a filthy mouth baby) I told her, brushing her curls from her in front of her eyes. “Le temps de manger ma douceur, c’est un grand” (it’s time to eat, my sweetness, you have an important day tomorrow.) I said and she raises her eyebrows.

“What’re we doin?” She asked, sitting on the bed as told and opening the pizza box.

“Patience, mon petit lapin” (patience, my little bunny) I smooth her hair gently and kissed the top of her head before taking off my shirt and dress pants, slipping on my pajamas before sitting down.

“Can I get a hint?” She pleads, taking a piece of pizza out and having a bite.

“Pas de conseils, seulement de la patience.” (No hints, only patience) I told her, grabbing a slice for myself and having a bite.

“Je suis impressionné par ton bébé, français, as-tu étudié sans moi?” (I'm impressed by your French baby, did you study without me?) She said softly, and I furrow my brow, thinking as I chew.

“Je sous…” (I’m under) I repeat as I think to myself, “why? Did I say something wrong?” I pout a bit, looking at her, thinking she was saying she was under impressed with my French and that I should be studying more.

“Bebe, Je suis, suis, my love, Je, Suis” she said, sweetly.

“Ohhhh- ohh…you are impressed, not under impressed” I smiled a bit and she rolls her eyes playfully.

“”Mon ours n’a jamais rien fait d’autre que m'impressionner ” (my bear, never does anything but impress me.) she strokes my cheek gently. “Mon sexy homme” (my sexy man) she whispered and gently brushed back my hair.

I blushed more, my cheeks surely being a shade of bright red that matched hers. “Je t’aime mon gros ours sexy” she said and I smirked, knowing ‘I love you my big sexy bear’ anywhere

“Oooo” she said happily as she opened the box of mozzarella sticks. “Oooo!!! And you got extra sauce! I love you so so much” she kisses my cheek and I chuckle.

“You and cheese, I swear you’re half mouse sometimes” I tease and she giggled, dipping it in the sauce and taking a bite.

“Mmmm-“ she hums before continuing “I would love to be a mouse. Would you love me still if you woke up one morning and there was a note on my pillow that a fae turned me into a mouse? Would you keep me?” She asked, dunking again and taking another bite.

I snort, “a mouse? I mean…we couldn’t have sex anymore so that would suck, but it would be you. Wait- would you love me if you were a mouse?” I asked taking a bite of my pizza.

“Of course- well..maybe more so because I would fully depend on you to translate for me, unless I was a mouse that could speak. In which case you’d not need a note because you’d wake up to me making a comfy little nest in your hair and I’d tell you I was a mouse and now I’d sleep on your head like Ratatouille. Ooo and during the day I could sit on your shoulder, you could carry me around in your pocket!!” She ruffles my hair playfully and I smile, shaking my head at her adorable constant need to discuss out of this world scenarios and how we’d each react to them.

“That would be very fun, well- maybe it would put off customers if they knew the head chef walks around with a mouse on his shoulder, but I wouldn’t care cause we’d get to be together all the time ma petit souris” (my little mouse) I shrugged with a smile, taking another bite.

She smiles proudly, gently kissing my jaw. “Ahh en francais? Quel bon garçon” (ah in French? What a good boy) she praised softly, squeezing my bicep sweetly, kissing my shoulder. “Mmm what about…” she picks her pizza back up, taking a bite and thinking for a moment “oo!! What if right now like - I just burst into glitter. Like. Poof and was gone? What would you do?” she giggled and I laughed.

“Where did you go?! I would find you obviously, or I’d never stop looking for you. I’d give up everything and become a private investigator to find you” I shrug, poking her cheek playfully.

“No like dead gone what if I spontaneously combusted into glitter and like- that was my death. I’m gone. Poof. Nothing more then little sparkly granules” she muses and I raise my eyebrows.

“Dead? Well…I’d probably start sobbing and be on my hands and knees picking up every little piece to keep in a bag forever and I’d take it with me everywhere.” I said and she pouted.

“Stop you are too sweet. I thought you were gonna be like ‘welp guess I’m gettin the vacuum out’ “ she laughs and I gasp, poking her belly.

“The vacuum?! What - was that what your answer was gonna be?” I chuckled and she grinned wide.

“Maaaybe. But of course I’d be kidding!!!! Ooo maybe I’d turn you in to a pretty eyeshadow.” She pecks my lips and I squeeze her cheeks with my hand gently, a pout forming on her lips at the action.

“Y’re fuckin weird and I love it” I smooch her lips again and she giggles in to my mouth lightly.

When we were finished eating, she took her regular spot on my lap as she scrolled through videos on her phone, giggling and sending some of them to Sadie.

Shit. Sadie. She has to be on a fuckin plane like- now.

I clear my throat “s’rry bunny, can you uh- I gotta go to the bathroom.” I said and she rolls off me without looking up, stretching herself out on her side of the bed. I slickly grab my phone without her noticing and go off to the bathroom, shutting the door and leaning against it.

I found Sadie’s contact and hit dial, praying to god she was up and would see it or at least answer it if it woke her up. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding when I heard her pick up.

“What did you do” she grumbles in to the phone, knowing that I’d usually only ever call her this late if I’d fucked up majorly and had to have her talk Winnie down from a freak out.

“N-nothing. No- sorry f’wakin’ you- listen, I’m gonna get on Google and get you, Eva, and Richie a flight. Listen to me Sadie I can only say it once she’s probably listening you know how she is. I got tickets! 5 tickets!! Fuckin floor” I said quietly in to the phone, knowing she’d know exactly what I was talking about since every time she Winnie and I would hang out, my cellphone and laptop would both be held hostage as they forced me to scoure different Internet forums and Facebook groups trying to find tickets for them.

“ARE YOU FUCKING ME RIGHT NOW?!?! SHES GONNA FUCKING SHIT HERSELF AND THROW UP- NO- SHES GONNA EXPLODE. HOW DID YOU FUCKING MANAGE!!” She shrieks in to the phone so loudly I had to remove it from my ear and I could still hear her perfectly.

“Shhhhhh!! Shhh! Contain your screaming for tomorrow night - and don’t tell her she won’t be able to sleep. But fill in Richie, I’m gonna buy your flights and hotel rooms and shit and send it to you in a groupchat, and please for the love of god- if you can, go help him pack- the last time he went on a fuckin trip the jagoff took a rediculous amount of socks but somehow forgot a shirt? Just please- Eva is gonna be so torn up if he forgets something” I plead and she laughs.

“Noted. Did you need me to go get Pooh’s shit?” She asked

“No- wait fuck the bracelets? Her special bracelets the uh- the ones on that hand heart thing in her room. All of em - and she has a-a bucket in her closet full of em she’s been makin em every day pretty much she wants to like give em out or somethin. Put em in a bag- wait- no don’t mix them.” I said nervously fuck. Planning a concert this intense is not my forte.

“I got it I got it. How the fuck did you secure those tickets, Carmen?” She asked

“Bear! Bear come look come LOOK!!” Winnie squeaks from the other room “PEOPLE SAY TAYLOR WAS THE SPECIAL GUEST ON JIMMY KIMMEL TONIGHT DID YOU SEE HER BACK THERE?!”

Fuckin shit. Leave it to Taylor’s cult to be tracking her every move. Hell- what am I saying the cults president is outside the door.

“Gotta go” I whisper in to the phone and hung up quickly, taking a deep breath.

“Really baby? I uh- no- no way, I’m sure that she has so much security I was on a whole other side of the building I bet.” I call back as casually as I could, my fingers shaking as I went online and finding the earliest flights I could.

“Carmen we were sharing air.” She said, starstruck. “Sharing AIR BABE” she repeats and I laugh, some of my tension desolving.

“Mm one step closer to meeting the leader” I teased as I quickly check out with 3 plane tickets in to JFK thank god the site had Apple Pay so I didn’t have to sneakily grab my wallet.

“Come onnn are you almost done? I wanna snuggle” she whines and I sigh softly to myself, hiding anything from her is the absolute worst.

“Mm a few more minutes baby” I said, calling the hotel we were staying at currently.

“Ritz Carlton front desk, how can I help you?” The woman on the end answered.

“Hello I- I um - I’m staying here? Like- now? A-and I am gonna be having guests come I need to add 2 rooms for tomorrow on to my reservation? I’m in room 313” I said quietly hoping Winnie couldn’t hear.

“Oh! Alright, there are 2 rooms available on floor 3, room 388 and room 389, both have a king size bed should this suffice?” She asks.

“Sure that’s great” I said rubbing my chin nervously.

“And how many guests?” She asks

“Three” I reply, hearing her type and click around on her computer.

“And their names please.” She said.

“Sadie Adamu, and Richie and Eva Jerimovich” I said quietly.

“Oh ok so Adamu can you spell that?” She said and I run my hand through my hair anxiously.

“A-d-a-m-u. And Jerimovich is J-e-r-i-m-o-v-i-c-h “ I replied, biting my lip when I hear Winnie again.

“Who’re you talkin’ to bear?” She calls. I squeeze my eyes shut

Fuckin hell.

“Alright! Got it all in the system, check in is at 2 pm, is there anything el-“ I cut her off

“Nope! Thanks bye” I quickly hang up the phone and took a deep breath and put my phone back in my pocket, rubbing over my face.

“Bear?” She called again.

I opened the bathroom door and see her laying cuddled up in a ball on my side of the bed, holding the phone only a few inches from her face.

“Give em’ “ I extend my hand with a grin and she rolls her eyes, sitting up a bit and squinting at the nightstand.

“Threw em there” she points at the nightstand generally before plopping back down.

“You are a crusty little thing mon souris” (my mouse) I pick up her contacts from the nightstand and go toss them in the bin before coming back and laying down after flicking off the lamp.

“Who were you talkin to?” She asked, looking over at me.

“Oh uh- Syd…she sent this voice note askin’ about the schedule I was just explaining some stuff to ‘er” I said casually, genuinely surprised I was able to come up with a lie on the spot.

“Oh, ok” she said and turned her phone off, grabbing her kindle and snuggling in to my chest.

“Tv off please” she mutters and I silently thank god she was giving in to her exhaustion.

“Oui ma cherie” (yes my darling) I kissed her forehead lightly and grabbed the remote,clicking the tv off and putting the remote on the nightstand before settling in and sighing softly.

“Mm. s’quiet without your thing.” I said, alluding to her noise machine. She snorts a laugh.

“It’s cute that you miss it” she said, turning the brightness down on her tablet. I wrap my arm around her waist, tucking my other hand between her thighs per usual.

“What’re you readin’ Angel?” I asked, stroking her stomach with my hand gently.

“Our book” she said softly and I hum.

“Which part?” I question quietly and she taps the screen so it’d flip to the next page

“Favorite one” she hums and I smiled softly.

“Up for reading t’me, miel?” (Honey)

“Any time ours” (Bear) she said before beginning.

“ ‘Open your heart, and someone will come. Someone will come for you, Edward. But first, you must open your heart.’ Said the old doll. ‘I am done with being loved. And I am done with loving- for it’s too painful.’ Edward replied. ‘Oh pish’ said the doll. ‘Where is your courage?’ She asked Edward. ‘Somewhere else, I guess’ he replied. ‘You disappoint me.’ She said. ‘You, Edward, disappoint me greatly. If you have no further intention of loving or being loved, then this whole journey is pointless. You might as well leap from this shelf, and let yourself shatter into a million little pieces. Get it over with. Get it all over now.’ Edward couldn’t come up with a response, so he stared out the window, and he saw his beloved stars. But for the first time In his life, he’d felt no comfort by their sparkling presence, shining back at him through the curtians. He instead, felt mocked. ‘You are down there all alone.’ The stars seemed to say to him. ‘And we are up here, in the constellations together.’ - ‘But…I have been loved.’ Edward thinks at the stars. ‘What difference does that make, when you’re all alone now?’ The stars seem to say back.

And Edward could think of no answer to that question.”

I made sure to get up early, knowing Winnie would be sleeping as long as I’d let her. I got dressed and brushed my teeth before heading out to go get her breakfast.

I stopped at chick fil a, getting her favorite meal in the morning time, and then went to this floral shop that was on the way back that i’d passed a cute flower shop on the walk back to the hotel that i’d passed a million times on my commute to work while living here, picking out a big bouquet of pink, purple, yellow and blue flowers. Lover colors Winnie will say when she sees them. At the counter while I was checking out there were big foil heart shaped ‘I love you’ balloons, so, of course I got one of those as well.

I quietly opened the hotel room door, setting the flowers tied to the balloon on my side of the bed and setting the food bags down on her nightstand. I gently sat down on her end of the bed, the dip of my weight causing her to stir and reach out for me on my side, but when she instead felt the paper of the bouquet she opened her eyes, blinking a few times and looking back at me.

“G’mornin sleeping beauty.” I said softly, taking her hand and kissing it after she got a good stretch in.

“Mmm. Glasses please, are those flowers?” She asks sleepily, sitting up and yawning. I hand them to her and she puts them on, pouting.

“Bear, oh my god c’mere” she flops into my arms and hugs me tight. “I love you, thank you. Y’re the best boyfriend in the whole wide world” she kisses my neck sweetly and I rub her back, smiling and kissing her head gently.

“No I just try and show my baby how much she deserves” I pull her into my lap, kissing all over her face and she giggles.

“Stoppp I have morning breath” she whines shying her face into my chest and I rub her hair gently.

“Mmm smells ok t’me angel, c’mon I got your favorite,” I grab the bag and she gasps happily, taking it from me and giving me a big kiss.

“You’re the best” she said again, sitting in her spot criss cross and looking up, following the string of the balloon and she looks back at the flowers, then the balloon again and her lip starts to quiver.

“Bear” she whispers “Y’re too good” she said, tears pooling her eyes at the thoughtful gesture.

“No tears baby, you know if you cry, I cry” I clear my throat, wiping under her eyes gently. It was my biggest weakness, and I’m not a cryer. Usually, for anything else, but for some reason, when she starts to cry- I can’t help it. It’s totally uncontrollable.

“ ‘m sorry” she sniffles and takes my hand, kissing gently. “I just…I love you bear. So so much” she said and I smiled, tucking her hair gently behind her ear.

“I love you more baby, look-” I opened up the bag for her, grabbing the little ‘chicken minis’ she loved and setting them in her lap as well as the hashbrowns and the many sauces.

“They always hound me about the bigger bottle- and I have to tell them every time ‘no she only likes this sauce with this food but she wants to have enough’ “ I explained, grabbing the many little packets of ‘Polynesian’ and their house sauce she loved so much.

She giggled, opening up the hashbrowns. “You’re the cutest” she said, dipping a hash brown in to the sauce and popping it in her mouth.

“Oh!” I said and grab her frozen coffee out of the little drink carrier, and popping a straw in for her “extra chocolate, for my honey of course” I said and set it down on the nightstand.

“I fall more in love with you every day, mon ours” (my bear) she leans forward, pecking my lips. “Open” she said softly and I oblige. She popped a hash brown in my mouth and I amile gratefully.

“Y’got food too I hope” she said and I nod as I chew.

“Mmhmm, their chicken one” I opened up the smaller bag, grabbing out 2 of the chicken biscuits I’d gotten for myself and she laughs.

“Yeah? Their chicken one?” She repeats and I raise my eyebrow, looking at her. “All they serve is chicken, baby” she giggled and I roll my eyes smiling.

“A chicken biscuit. Two actually” I snort, grabbing the ranch packets out of my bag.

“Mmm” she hums as she sips her coffee. “They always get it right when you get it bear they never make it this chocolatey for me. The girls at the counter must think you’re cute.” She muses teasingly, eating one of her little brioche chicken things that she was convinced I couldn’t replicate perfectly, no matter how much I’d tried.

I really think she just loves to see me keep yearning to impress her, frisky little devil.

“I think that you just like it more when Y’re happy little butt gets to stay snuggled up in bed, and it taste better cause you didn’t have to work for it” I teased and she laughs, scrunching her nose adorably.

“Maaaaybeee - but don’t pretend like every time we go out you aren’t getting hit on, mister sexy chef” she splays her legs over my lap, crossing her ankles.

“Oh yeah” I roll my eyes, taking a bite of my sandwich after pouring a good amount of ranch on. “Totally - like you remember that lady at Coach yesterday when I didn’t know that bag was like 30k and she told me to ‘get my sticky fingers off that bag’ she was all over me, babe“ I snort and she laughs, leaning against the headboard.

“Dude - I’m surprised I didn’t fucking jump her with the way she was talking to us. I am never getting a coach bag now baby, don’t even think about it. Syd was right- Prada was the way to go. I can’t waittt to show her oh my god. Sadie is gonna flip” she said and I smiled, nodding. Mmhmm when she gets here in about 3 hours, she and you will both be flipping out.

“Oh! Shit! I didn’t check” she put down her food, grabbing her phone and going on to the Ticketmaster app and my eyes widen. They better not be dropping tickets today. I wanted to wait for Sadie to get here and tell her together and if she tries to buy them i’ll have no choice.

“Oh- I already did baby. I did as soon as I got up” I lied, feeling the envelope in my inner breast pocket containing the tickets burning a hole in to me. The taste of the words on my tongue were bitter knowing they held no truth, but this was a good lie. A lie that will make her ultimately happy.

“Oh…” she pouts sadly, her shoulders hunching slightly in defeat as she refreshes the empty Ticketmaster page just in case. “I feel selfish…but…I just love her s’much. I know I’ve seen her already but-“ she sighs, shaking her head. “I know it’s bratty, but Sadie and I have the most fun at her concerts. I don’t even know how she’d get here in time, what am I even saying. And I didn’t even take my outfit.” She puts her phone down. “No taylor talk today, ok? It’ll just make me sad.” She took a sip of coffee and I nodded, rubbing her leg gently.

My heart ached seeing her so upset. I felt the words pressing at the back of my throat begging to come out, to comfort her, to tell her ‘it’s ok baby I got them already Sadie’s on her way, Richie and Eva are coming! This is everything the three of you have been talking about since she announced it, I love you angel please be happy.’

But instead, I squeeze her calf gently. “No taylor talk.” I nod. When we’d finished eating, she had gone to have a ‘everything’ shower which was code for ‘leave me alone, I need to get shit done’ shower, and I picked up the room, throwing our garbage away and setting the flowers on the desk for her.

I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket and when I saw it was Richie calling I picked it up right away.

“Guess where we are cousinnn!!” He said excitedly in to the phone

“Cousin Carmy were coming to see you AND TAYLOR SWIFT!!” Eva squeals excitedly and I chuckle.

“Jesus Christ I’m deaf” I hear Sadie grumble.

“Someone doesn’t like mornings, Cousin you send a drill sergeant that hates mornings to my house at 5 am to announce we’re seeing Taylor swift?!” He asks and I chuckle.

“Staff Sergeant. Thank you!” She snips and I snorted.

“Cause I know a Marine is the only person that could get your ass out of bed before first light on a day off, how far out are you?” I asked, sitting on the bed.

“Well we got the rental, Sadie is driving - the GPS saysss….” He groans. “An hour and forty six minutes with traffic” he grumbled.

“Welcome to New York, cousin. Let me know when you guys get here and drop off your shit. We’re in room 313 y’guys are gonna be 388 and 389” I said

“I want 389!” Sadie and Eva said at the same time and I crinkle my brows.

“What’s with- oh my god” I roll my eyes. “Cause of 1989? I can’t stand you guys…” I chuckle.

“She can have it cause I’m so mature” Sadie teased and I snort.

“Thanks, bug. I’ll s’ya soon. Drive safe.” I said before ending the call. I heard the water cut off, Winnie belting to Taylor songs per usual.

I took the opportunity while she was still in the bathroom to call and make a reservation at Freemans - for tomorrow afternoon, a spot Winnie had been gushing about ever since none other than Taylor was seen there a while back.

I had no shame this time in mentioning my first and last name, knowing they’d pull out every stop for us since the host asked if I was the owner of the bear, the restaurants owner must know of me.

The door clicks open just after I hang up and Winnie paused her music, coming out in a pair of panties and one of my white shirts, her hair still dry since I assume she tied it back.

“Hey hey” she said, coming and sitting in my lap. I rub my hand up her thigh gently.

“Hey beautiful, you have a nice shower?” I mutter in to her neck, gently kissing a trail of butterfly kisses up to her jaw.

“Mmhmm” she interlocks our fingers, gently squeezing my hand. “What’s my surprise? I love your surprises, Bear” she kisses my lips sweetly and I raise my eyebrows in surprise her fuckin memory sometimes she always remembers the shit she shouldn’t.

“Mmm” I hum softly into the kiss, swiping my tongue against her bottom lip and kissing her deeper, running my hands up her sides, hoping if I fluster her enough the question will slip her mind.

She moaned softly, running her fingers through my hair and tugging lightly, scratching at the places she knew made me melt into her.

“Baby” she said into my lips. “What’re you hiding from me” she kissed the corner of my mouth gently and I look up at her, my cheeks bright pink.

I’m not the one that’s supposed to be flustered right now.

I bit my lip gently and rest my forehead on her chest, not wanting to look at her pleading hazel eyes.

“s’a surprise honey” I said into her shirt. She rubbed my back gently.

“Will I get my surprise today?” She asked.

“Course, like less then 2 hours yeah? Not much longer baby” I kiss her collar bones gently and she moves to straddle my waist, my hands moving down to cup the flesh of her backside as I usually did when she sat like this to support her.

“S’we have enough time to play” she said softly in my ear, pushing up the hem of my shirt. Her cold hands made my abs and stomach tighten, hissing softly at the contact.

“Ye’ baby - fuck Y’re hands are freezing.” I squeeze her ass gently, resting my head back as she kisses my neck and throat, gently nibbling along my jaw. “Then warm me up bear” she whispered into my skin.

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

“Fuckfuckfuck y-yours- i’m yours, no one could ever make me feel so good, Carmy” I whine out, tugging his hair as he devours me. Icy blue eyes darkened with lust were piercing my gaze, his nose nudging my clit causing me to let out a breathy moan as his tongue plunged in and out of my core.

“That’s right, I fuckin own this pussy baby” he said hotly, my arousal dripping down his chin, his lips plump and oh so pink from the delicious assault on the place I needed him most.

“Please” I said, tears from the overwhelming pleasure were gathering in the corners of my eyes at this point, and he had been practically humping the mattress to get himself off as he ravished me. I knew he wanted me as much as I needed him.

“Please what honey?” He sat up, one knee on the bed, hovering over me, his chain dangling in my face as he rubs my clit. I writhe and squirm beneath his touch, already 2 orgasms deep but I was drunk off the pleasure. I couldn’t tell him to stop, it was like a high I never wanted to come off of.

“F-ahh” my hips buck wildly, eyes screwing shut and nose scrunching as that oh so familiar intense wave of pleasure begins crashing at the dam doors of my stomach.

“Fuck me, fuckmefuckme Bear, pleeeeaseeee” I beg out pulling him in to a deep kiss. He huffs a chuckle in to my mouth, taking his hand away from my center to pull himself free, covering his cock in my arousal that was soaking his hand.

“Y’gonna be a good girl ‘n not get greedy? Mm? I don’t want y’t’be sore baby” he said, lining himself up at my entrance.

I huff sassily. “I want all of your cock, not just a little” I pout and he puts his tip in, my mouth quickly dropping in pleasure and eyes fluttering shut. I grabbed his hand, wrapping it around my throat and looking up at him.

“Mmm you wanna be my little whore?” He coos, leaning in and kissing my lips sweetly.

“Please…” I said softly and I moan as I felt his hand tighten around my throat and he sinks in further.

“Fuck- s’fuckin tight Angel” his grip around my throat tightens a bit as he tries to hold himself back from rutting in to me fully before he stretched me out.

I bit my lip, my eyebrows furrowing together in pleasure at the mix of the lightness filling my head and the warmth it brought.

“Feel good princess?” He pushes in deeper and I moan in response.

“S’so good Carm- fuck I love your cock” I whine out, my back arching when he hits my gspot.

“Half way baby. Be my g’girl.” He strokes my throat with his thumb gently and I nod quickly.

“I’m trying, feels fuckin amazing bear I can’t help it” I said and he kisses around my chest, sucking on my nipple and grunting in to me when he felt my core tighten around him as I was brought to the very tip of the edge.

“Let go” he said as he pushed in fully, the sensation causing my third orgasm to wash over me like a harsh crack of hot lightning. My walls clench around him pulsingly, my back arching and hot thick strings of cries, whines, and moans between curses spilled from my lips.

He released his hold on my neck, pressing his lips to my forehead, thrusting harder faster. “Mmm fuck. Can y’give me another one honey? C’mon, I know my good girl can give me another one.” He muttered and I smile up at him, kissing his jaw gently.

“So determined Bear- mmm- there-there don’t fuckin move, there. I-I promise I’ll give you another” I plead, my nails dragging down his back and he moaned at the contact.

“Shit yesss baby. Fuckin scratch me up please I love that shit fuck Y’re like a horny little cat” he grunts, fucking in to the same spot harder, holding himself up by the mattress.

The only sounds leading my lips were incoherent mumbled profanities and short ‘uh-uh-uh’ as he pounded me harder in to the mattress. A few short minutes later I was cumming again soaking is thighs and all the way up to his stomach, he grunts approvingly.

“Fuuuck that’s my good girl. Shiiit y’re so fuckin’ wet baby. My messy little girl” he praises and I feel my cheeks heat, a warm pool of liquid settling by the dip of my bum.

“Shit m’sorry I didn’t mean to make such a mess” I said embarrassedly and he shook his head lightly.

“Babe its hot as fuck. I wish I could make you do this every fuckin time.” He holds my breasts to keep them from bouncing, thumbing my nipples over my jewlery as he continues snapping his hips.

I whine, my hips arching up in overstimulation but that just burried him deeper. I cry out and he quickly puts his arm under my hips to support them, holding me in that position.

“Holy fuckkkk” he moans out, eyes fluttering shut in bliss and head falling back as he picks up his pace. “Fuck Angel you are fuckin perfect. Here touch Y’re belly baby, feel me” he kisses along my neck and I reach my hand down, gasping as I press on my stomach and feel his cock driving in and out of me.

“Fuck oh my god” I said, a laugh falling from my lips followed by a moan, “wow. This is what they mean when they say rearrange my guts” I kiss him deeply, tugging his curls firmly between my fingers and he moans into my mouth.

“Sh-iiiit s-so close…” he whined out and I smile lazily, kissing a trail of gentle kisses over his jaw as he continued. His thrusts were becoming stuttering, sloppy, and much less powerful. Now it was my turn to push him over the ledge.

“je t'aime, mon ours” (I love you, my bear) I whisper sweet and sensually in his ear, and he grunted, spilling in to me with one final thrust, bottoming out and slamming our lips together in a heated, wanting kiss, keeping himself buried deep inside me while his cock pulses through his comedown.

“I fuckin love you Winnow” he breathes in to my skin leaving wet hot kisses over my chest and collarbones.

He rolls over, laying next to me and catching his breath. “We need to shower” he said after a while of cuddling and I look at him, my brows furrowing.

“Why” I question, resting my hand on his chest and wrapping my leg around his.

“Cause we got things t’do baby, y’re surprise” he smiled a bit, patting my bum gently.

“My legs are useless at the moment. You want me t’shower I need t’be carried” I mused, gently running my fingers over the curve of his abs.

“Mmhmm that can be arranged” he grabs his phone, angling it away so I couldn’t see who he was texting before turning the phone back normal and googling the hotel we’re staying at, calling the front desk.

Okay, he’s really hiding something.

“Yeah hey- me and my uh…” he looks down at me “wife- we need the sheets changed in room 313…yeah- nope that’s fine we’re gonna be in the bathroom so- alright. Yup, thank you.” He said and hung up. I wiggle my eyebrows.

“Wife?” I teased with a big grin.

His cheeks go pink. “You know I’ll make you my wife someday. People seem t’take us as like… a legit couple when I say that…when I just call you my girl people think we’re kids ‘er somethin” he rubs my back lightly.

“Mmm…i’m just teasin’ baby..but- I dunno… I like that- it just sounds right coming from your mouth. I never thought of myself as wifey material but…Winnow Berzatto. That sounds nice, don’t ya think?” I kiss his collarbones and he swallows thickly.

“Yeah…yeah I uh- I kept thinkin’ about that last night when they called you that..I liked that a lot too..” he said softly, stroking my hair.

“Well” I stick up my ring finger, wiggling it in front of his face “Whenever you’re ready, I’m waiting” I peck his lips and he hums, deepening our kiss and running his hand up my side.

“Thank you baby” he said, resting his forehead on mine. “F’r bein’ so patient w’me” he said quietly, rubbing my lower back in small circles.

“ ‘fcourse Carm, I’d wait forever for you” I kiss his nose and he smiles big, a blush painting his cheeks a cherry red.

“Y’wont need to wait that long baby, I’m just…just gettin’ my shit together” he sighs a bit, rubbing his hand up my back. “C’mon koala, up” he pats my bum and I release his leg, sitting up against the headboard.

He stood up, coming to my side and I lifted my arms. He lifted me up simply, holding me bridal style and carrying me to the bathroom.

“Mmm mon gros ours sexy, et fort..” (mm my big strong, sexy bear..) I said into his ear, nibbling his earlobe with my teeth and he sets me down on the bathroom counter with a smile.

“Tu es déja ton…” (you already got your…) he stops, thinking for a moment “ahhh Tu es déja ton remplis ma sale cherie.” (You already got your fill my dirty darling) he smiled proudly, turning on the water.

“Ooohhh look at mon petit ours français sexy” (oooh look at my sexy little french bear) I giggled, crossing my ankles and leaning against the mirror.

“Mmhmm, I have the sexiest little professor” he comes over, kissing my lips sweetly. I hum in to the kiss, playing with his curls gently. We made out until the bathroom was thick with steam, and our lips didn’t disconnect as we stepped into the oversized walk in shower.

He rested my back against the wall, hands firmly supporting my bum as he held me up, my ankles crossed at his tailbone, thighs squeezing his waist gently. I smiled, my eyes fluttering shut and resting my forehead on his shoulder as he kissed my neck.

“Feels good Bear…Y’gonna mark me up, Carmy?mm? Show everyone you own me?” I bit down on the ball of his shoulder playfully and he groans in satisfaction.

“Not yet baby, Y’gonna wanna take pictures today” he said softly, leaving sweet tender kisses along my jaw bone to my lips. “Cmon princess, can I set you down and get y’washed up? We can’t be late” he pleads.

I sigh softly “fine. Now I’m interested though, I know you like takin’ pictures of me, but I rarely think to take them myself. What’re you up to, Bear?” I sit down on the marble bench built in to the shower as soon as he’d set me down, my legs still feeling quite shakey under me.

“It’s a surprise princess, I told you.” He grabbed my body wash and a washcloth, sudsing it up “c’mere stinky” he teases and I gasp, feigning great offense, clutching my necklace.

“Stinky?! You made me stinky!! With all your man sweat.” I stick out my tongue at him and he chuckled, wrapping an arm around my waist and hoisting me to my feet, gently washing over my body.

“Oh yeah, but if I remember you were all pleasepleaseplease begging for my stink missy” he mimics me and I gasp, hitting his chest lightly and laughing.

“Do not make fun of me, y’know what- fine. I’ll just suck your soul out later and then mock you when we’re done about how your like ‘aughhhh ah-ooo-shit, fuck honey yesss” I mimicked his whines and shrugged. He laughs “Whatever was left of my soul you’ve already sucked out months ago, little vampire. So good luck cause I’m all dry.” he teased.

By the time we were done in the shower, I had felt much better. The hot water worked it’s magic on my sore muscles, and Carmy even laid with me and was giving me a long, relaxing lotion massage.

He's really laying this whole surprise thing on thick.

“Baby” I said softly, looking down at him and his gaze meets mine, continuing to massage my hip since it was so tight after everything this morning and having to walk around in heels last night.

A blush comes to my cheeks and my throat suddenly felt tight, I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea about my question, but I also didn’t want him to do anything just to appease me.

“Are you…is the surprise proposing? Cause I don’t want …I don’t want to get married until you’re ready baby I’m ok with my necklace I don’t need a ring I know you love me” I said softly and he smiles, nodding.

“No baby, I’m not. Sorry if that’s disappointing, but like I said, I promise at some point, I will- and I don’t think you’d be able to handle all that excitement t’night.” He kissed my knee gently and continued on massaging.

“Oh..ok” I said and went back to scrolling through twitter on my phone. He digs his phone out of his pocket when it buzzes immediately, almost too quick, and sends a fast response before setting it on the bed and patting my hip gently.

“Put on some pants, can’t be poohin’ it we have guests comin’” he teased. I giggled at the silly joke. Whenever he’d come over and I was in nothing but panties and a shirt, he’d always say I was “living up to my name” since Winnie the Pooh never wears pants.

“Who’s visiting?” I asked, getting up and grabbing my fluffy pajama pants.

“You’ll see princess” he hums, taking a dress bag out of his suitcase and a black bag, hanging them on the closet door as there was a knock.

“Y’wanna get the door angel?” He asked and I raised a brow, slipping my feet into my bear paw slippers and shuffling over to the door, pulling it open.

“WINNIE!!” Eva runs in and hugs my legs and hips tightly as I stood there, jaw dropped to see Richie and Sadie standing there.

“Guys!? What are you doing here?” I picked Eva up, kissing all over her face. “You came to Visit us pipsqueak?!” I asked her excitedly.

“Cousin Carmy has a SURPRISE TELL HER CARMY TELL HER” she yelled at him.

“Shhhh, shh baby people are sleepin come on” I giggled at her excitement, letting them in the door and setting her down gently.

I give Sadie a big hug “SadieBug what the fuck!!” I giggle squeezing her tightly. “Why the hell are you guys here?” I give Richie a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Y’still didnt tell ‘er?” Richie asked Carm, who was already picking up Eva and throwing her on to the bed, one of her favorite games when we’d stay at a hotel. She giggles wildly, each time she flew in to the pillows she’d squeal happily and sit up.

“Again! Again!” And leap back into his arms.

“No I was waitin’ for you guys, okay one more Eva then we gotta give Winnie her surprise yeah?” He asks and she nods happily.

“Okay, one…two…thrreee!!” He swings her between each count, hurling her carefully in to the bed on three and she laughs excitedly, standing up and jumping.

“Winnie come sit!” She said plopping down on her bum and bouncing at the force of the mattress, giggling as she did so.

“She slept most the way from the airport, so that’s why she’s a little wound up” Richie said, causing me to giggle.

I was so caught up in how fuckin cute Carmy was with Eva that I completely forgot why they were here in the first place.

“Okay nowww do I get my surprise?” I asked Carm, walking up and wrapping my arms loosely around his neck, looking up at him with big doe eyes.

“Yes baby but I think you should sit, yeah?” He gently nudges me to sit on the bed and I do so.

“Should I be scared?” I raise my eyebrow and Sadie laughs.

“No dude. Just listen” she crossed her arms as Carm took a white envelope out of his inner breast pocket, his first and last name written on the outside.

“So, honey” he sits next to me and offers the envelope. “I love you, so much. All I want is f’r you to be happy okay? I would go to the ends of the earth to make you happy. And I know that you’d do the same f’me…and I hope that this shows you, that I will always find a way to make what you want happen okay, every time.” He kisses my forehead tenderly and I pout at his words, cupping his cheeks and giving him a sweet kiss.

“You’re the best boyfriend ever, I love you” I said softly.

“Yuck” Eva said from behind us and I look at her.

“And You’re a stinky baby” I tease, poking her belly and she pouts

“Hey!” She crosses her arms and Richie chuckled.

“You’re yucky too Carmy” she pokes him in the back with her foot and he snorts.

“Open your gift Angel” he wraps his arm around me, his chin resting on my shoulder.

I gently pull open the envelope, taking out a stack of…concert tickets?

Taylor Swift - THE ERAS TOUR LIVE - Sponsored by Capital One With special Guests; BOYGENIUS & Sabrina Carpenter

ADMIT 1 FLRL R2 S13 Saturday, June 20, 2025 TICKETMASTER EVENT

Blood roars in my ears, my heart starts thumping so hard I can feel it in my stomach, my throat, everywhere. I flicked through the tickets, there were five. My jaw was basically on the floor, my stomach was doing flips, it felt as if I could pass out.

“Mmm? What’s Taylor say? We’re goin out T’night baby” he kisses my cheek and I look at him, tears pooling my eyes.

There were so many thoughts in my mind, I couldn’t even settle on one. I looked back at the tickets, sure they’d turn in to something else if I stared at them hard enough.

“Daddy..is Winnie ok she looks scared?” Eva whispered to Richie and I laughed and laughed, tears streaming down my face and I hug Carmen so tightly he actually groans a bit beneath my grasp.

“Fuck wow baby when did you get so strong?” He chuckled and I release him slightly.

“I don’t wanna scare people by screaming? I dunno what to do baby” I said, kissing his neck gently. “What am I even gonna wear?” I whisper and he wipes my cheeks

“No tears,” he said softly, kissing my forehead. “I don’t wanna get all w’rked up baby” he rubs my back soothingly.

I nod, wiping over my face. “I know, sorry, sorry. But I- I forgot my bodysuit what am I gonna do?” I said, my heart breaking. “W-were gonna be s’close and she won’t see it. I worked so hard Carmy” I said and he broke our hug, walking over to the closet and unzipping the black dress bag.

Revealing my blue bodysuit.

I squeal and run, jumping into his arms and kissing his face all over “and you’re coming with us?” I asked and he nods, smiling wide.

“I am and I can get all your videos, and pictures, and I can get your merch and everything baby you just have to enjoy the show” he said and I felt tears welling up behind my eyes again.

“You’re perfect.” I whispered and kissed him lovingly.

“Okay lovebirds” Sadie snaps her fingers. “We have a stadium to be at in” she looks at her Apple Watch. “4 hours if you wanna trade bracelets, and chop-chop if I’m curling your hair, Pooh” she tells me and I sniffle, wiping my face and getting down off him.

“Girls are gonna need the bathroom” I told him and he nods, rubbing my back gently.

“Course babe. Why don’t you guys have a little get ready party in here. Y’want me and Richie to go to the liquor store n’ stuff so you and Sadie can pregame?” He tucks my hair behind my ear sweetly.

I smile wide. “Carmen fucking Berzatto I fall in love with you more each second” I kiss him deeply, cupping his cheeks and stroking his fingers with my thumbs.

“Jesus Christ are they always like this? My god” Richie said

“Told you, yucky daddy.” Eva replied and I giggle “Only every second of every day. I think I know this guys side profile more then his frontal because of how much they suck face” Sadie said, earning a laugh out of all 4 of us.

“Back” Carmen called as he came into the hotel room, knocking on the bathroom door.

“Come in!” I called over the music.

“Oh my goodness Richie who’s this young lady?” Carm said when he saw Evas hair that I’d already curled for her and pinned back with glittery barrettes that would match her outfit.

She giggled, “thank you! Daddy, look!! Winnie did my hair how Sadie will do hers!!” She stood up off the edge of the honeymoon tub, spinning so her curls would be shown off.

“Wooow look at you pumpkin! You are a little Taylor swift” he comes and picks her up.

“C’mon let’s go get you dressed, We’ll come back after you have some lunch” he told her and she pouted.

“I want drinks!” She said causing Sadie, Carm and I to laugh.

“Girl no it’s big kid drinks.” Sadie said, continuing on her makeup.

“Mmhmm that’s right, pipsqueak. We’re gonna see you again real soon yeah? And we’ll go to the concert together” I told her and she nodded.

“Bear” I said sweetly when the door closed after they left.

“Honey” he repeats, mimicking my tone causing me to giggle.

“Can you make Sadie and I some doubles, s’il te plaît?” (Please) I flutter my lashes at him adorably and he snorts.

“Y’know I love doin’ stuff for you baby, Y’don’t have to give me the theatrics every time” he pecks my lips and takes the bag clinking with bottles of alcohol into the bedroom.

“Mm but you always do it extra nice when I give you the sweet eyes” I called after him and he chuckled. I was sat with my feet in the sink, focused on my makeup as Sadie curled my hair when he came back with 3 glasses.

“Sorry, they didn’t have limes babe but I got lime juice” he set my glass next to me and another next to Sadie before sitting on the ledge of the tub and taking a sip of his.

“ ‘sokay” I said softly, focused on tightlining my eyes with the navy blue pencil liner.

“Doesn’t that hurt. Y’re like- poking your eye babe.” He said and I stopped, looking at him with a smile.

“Y’get used to it I guess. I wear contacts to you see the way I dig around my eyes” I said and he shivers at the thought.

“It’s fuckin’ weird babe I swear it really skeeves me out I’m afraid you’ll scratch your eye out with one of your claws” he said, causing me to giggle.

I took a sip of my drink and scrunch my nose. “Fuck Carm” I giggled. “Wow I’m gonna have to nurse that if I’m gonna be able to do my makeup” I laughed and he snorts a chuckle.

“Y’said you wanted it strong baby” he replied and I shake my head.

“I guess I did, gee I’m feelin the burn” I laugh, finishing up tightlining my eyes and starting my winged liner.

“Sweet like honey karma is a cat purrin in my lap cause it loves meee” Sadie sings along softly as she sprays my hair with hairspray.

“Flexin like a god damn acrobat me and karma vibe like that!!!” I finished for her and continued doing my makeup.

By the time we’d finished makeup and hair, I was happy tipsy, giggling in the bathroom as I attempted getting dressed on my own.

“Carm can you help? My nails keep getting stuck I don’t wanna rip these they’re the ones Taylor wears” I called through the door.

“Comin” he calls and a few moments later he pops the door open, laughing at my current state. In nothing but my bra and thong, tights pulled up to my thighs.

I giggle “stop it!! No you’re my boyfriend you can’t laugh at me it’s the law” I said and he shakes his head, coming over and carefully unrolling the bunched fabric.

“My goodness babe what the hell were you doin’ trying to get these things on? Ballin’ em up?” He teased, crouching down and gently unraveling up to the waistband.

“Yeah well kinda I got it over my feet perfect see- but then, my boobs were suffocating me from bending over- and I was getting sweaty and lightheaded and I don’t wanna ruin my makeup” I giggle and he grunted a little as he got up.

“The things I do for you.” He chuckled to himself, carefully pulling the tights up my thighs and smoothing them over my waist. “There. Now where’s your other pair the fishnets right?” He asked and I smiled big, he really pays attention when I tell him about my interests and my plans for things that are so important to me.

“Mmhmm..sparkly fishnets” I said “my legs are gonna look so long and so sexy” i giggled, sitting on the edge of the tub as I roll the fabric over my toes up to the knees and stood up. “Your turn” I said.

“I wouldn’t say long you’re not even 5 foot baby, but sexy” he kisses my knee and up my thigh as he dragged the fishnets up. “Absolutely” he said and looked up at me. I pouted, crossing my arms over my middle.

“Do you wish I was tall?” I asked and he laughs, a real, genuine Carmy giggly laugh.

“Baby oh my god. Are you all done with the drinks? Cause you gettin’ all mushy drunk on me? I tell you all the time how you’re the perfect size f’me” he pulls the fishnets over my bum, spanking me gently after he brought them up over my waist.

“No. I just…sometimes people look at me like I’m a kid cause the way I dress and I wanted to be sure it doesn’t embarrass you that I’m small” I look at the floor and he tilts my chin up to look at him.

“Baby. The only small thing about you- is your height. These?” He cups my breasts with his palms “these” he rubs his hands over my hips. “Especially, this” he spanks me with a smile, causing me to giggle. “All that is in no way small. And anyone who mistakes you for a kid is blind. “ He said running his hands up my waist. “Okay- guess y’got me, this” he squeezes “is tiny.” He pulls me in to him. “And when I’m fucking you from the back? Mmm… it’s the only reason I do it baby cause of how pretty this is” he squeezed again as he whispers in my ear, kissing my pulse point and my breath hitched.

“Ok- I believe you, I believe you- don’t get me worked up please” I kiss his lips. “Can you get my bodysuit?” I asked and he nodded, returning with it a few moments later and carefully unzips it.

“I can hold it for you babe” he said, holding it low so I could step in. I held on to his shoulder and did so, slipping in my arms and pulling it up over he got the first half on. “Hold your hair honey I don’t wanna zip it in” he brushed my hair over my shoulder and I held it back for him.

He zipped me up, hooking the zipper on the little zip lock and gently rubbing his hands up my sides. “Mmm a little red headed Taylor” he hummed, rubbing his hands over my stomach and lightly thumbing over the intricate beading that had taken me hundreds of hours.

I blushed, turning around and looking at myself in the mirror. I smiled wide, my red hair being more akin to fire against the twinkling royal blue. I felt like a fucking pop star.

“Holy shit I made this!” I said and he nodded proudly, admiring me and all my hard work.

“Y’did baby girl! It is so perfect. Dare I say, better then hers. Do you think she planned it to have segments of 13 beads?” He wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my forehead, looking me over in the mirror and I laugh.

“Oh the Queen of cryptic planning? Did she plan such a thing? Most likely. But thank you baby. Some spots are a little wonky….but overall I think it came out” I said and stepped away “Wait- we have to check the twirly” I said and shake my hips like Taylor, gasping at all the movement and shimmer.

“SADIE!” I call and she came over in her own bodysuit she’d made, akin to the Pink Lover bodysuit she opened the show in.

“Oh my god!!” We shriek at the same time, hugging eachother and jumping excitedly.

“You look so good Sadie!!” I laughed and she squeezed me tight.

“Dude oh my god!! She’s gonna fuckin see us she has to” she said and I laugh excitedly.

“Oh my godddd” I said clapping excitedly. “Okay c’mon c’mon shoes -“ I said and Sadie gasps.

“CARMEN! Oh my god!” She said and looked at him, he chuckles

“Sadie! What!” He smiled wide and she runs over to her suitcase, dropping to her knees and rifling through it.

She comes back a few moments later with a bag that she throws at his chest and he catches swiftly. “A thank you, well- not a proper one but…you guys need pictures” she said as he ripped the plastic open, taking out the white tshirt and laughing to himself before turning it around to show me

It was much like the tshirt she regularly wore, except this one had ‘KARMA’ in big black letters. I gasp excitedly looking at Sadie, “cause you’re my BOYFRIEND!” I giggle and kiss his lips sweetly.

“That I am baby. Well I’m glad it’s not just you guys to be all dressed up, Thank y’bug, really, that was super sweet” he said and I smiled big.

“ ‘dressed up’ if I knew you were going we’d have a couples costume babe” I go and grab my midnight blue sparkly boots that I’d also bejeweled myself and zip them up. “Am I giving vigilante shit?” I pose with my heel on the bedside chair and Sadie laughs.

“Yes dude you look fire.” She said, zipping up her own heels. “So do you!! I wish Syd would just give it up and become a Swiftie!! We’re gonna convert her by next tour, then we can all have sparkly outfits” I said confidently and Carm opens the bathroom door, coming out in his new shirt.

“It’s not a couples costume but it should do, right honey?” He teases and I smile big.

“Anything on you is made one million times sexier I’m not sure why I ever had a second thought.” I come up, my hands trailing under his shirt as I kissed him deeply. The door opens and I pulled away.

“I’m Fearless!” Eva said happily, bounding in wearing her brown cowgirl boots and golden fringe dress, shaking around to show us the movement and hugging my waist.

“And she needs a nap!” Richie mouthed, shutting the door and Carm snorts a laugh.

“What did you have for lunch pippy?” I picked her up, holding her on my good hip.

“We had pizza with pepperoni my favorite” she said, gently cupping my cheek.

“You look like Taylor!!” She said happily “all the sparkles are so prettyyy” she leans in, our foreheads touching “could I have some?” She whispers and I giggle.

“Of course pipsqueak. Here” I set her down on the bed and went over to my suitcase, rifling through my makeup bag and grabbing the same glitter gel I’d used and I come over, dabbing some on her cheeks.

“Carmy needs some too” she said with her eyes shut and I look at him over my shoulder, a blush splaying over his cheeks.

“N-no boys don’t- er- Carmy doesn’t need it” he said and I smile.

“Why not baby? We can all match yeah? It’d be cute. F’me, f’youre special honey” I gave him a pout and fluttered my lashes.

He sighed “fine.” He sits down next to Eva and I giggled.

“Carmy” Eva said and his eyes flutter shut as I dab the sparkles along his cheekbones.

“Mmhmm” he hummed in response.

“Why do you only listen to Winnie?” She asks curiously and Richie, Sadie and I bust up laughing together.

He looks at her. “Cause I’m big and I can choose who I do and don’t listen to kid.” He said, poking her arm and she giggled.

“Sugar says you’re still just a little baby” she teased and he snorts.

“Sugar is an instigator.” He told her as I plop in his lap with my drink.

“What’s an instigator?” She repeats

“Someone who starts stuff” I told her and smile a bit. “Like, your daddy always instigates the arguments about the front of the restaurant where he works” i leaned in and whispered to her, causing her to giggle.

“Hey! I do not” Richie said.

“Do. Absolutely you do.” Carmen said with a smirk.

“Yeah yeah alright cousin fuckin’ - let’s just go please. Load up in the car, Eva go potty” he told her and she jumped up running off to the bathroom. I finish off my drink and grabbed my purse, being sure I had everything.

“I have 2 portable chargers” I told Sadie.

“Perfecto, I got 3. We should be good” she nods, zipping her purse back up.

By the time we’d gotten to the stadium, (a very quiet ride because Eva had to take a nap or would be a terror most the night) Sadie and I were practically bursting with excitement.

“Evaaa!” I whisper, gently rubbing her arm. “Guess where we are?” I said and she opens her eyes, looking up and squealing when she sees the stadium.

“WERE GONNA SEE TAYLOR!!!” She squealed.

“Yaassss! Taylorrrr!” Sadie said opening up her door and helping her unbuckle. Carm helped me put my heels on since I knew if I wore them the whole time in the car my hip would hurt before we even got in the stadium.

“Now, only rule- y’tell me when y’re hurtin’, got it?” he whispered in my ear and I look up at him, nodding.

“Promise, I’ll sit down if I start hurting” I said and pucker my lips for a kiss. He obliges before grabbing my purse from the car.

“Y’wanna hold it or want me to babe?” he asked.

“Uhmmm, can you for now and then when I run out of bracelets i’ll take it?” I ask and he nods, holding my hand and lacing our fingers.

“Sounds good t’me baby” he said, and we all started the long walk to the stadium entrance.

“Christ cousin- could you have picked a further spot? Y’know how it is with her and walkin’, were gonna be standing all night, jagoff” Carm complains and I nudge him.

“You know what?! You should’ve driven then, Mister fuckin New York, bet you’d have found the bessttt spot right?” he shoots back.

“Stop!” I flick the back of his head, “And stop” I kiss Carmys cheek gently, “We’re having fun t’night, I promised bear, I’ll tell you if i’m hurting” I said and Richie shoots me a glare.

“So I get a flick, he gets a kiss?! F’startin’ it?!” he complains and I giggle with a shrug.

“Cousin treatment I guess, er-brother? I dunno, all of our family dynamics are all fucked up” I said.

“Winnie thats a bad word” Eva looks up at me.

“It is a bad word, but sometimes- mmm… listen to your daddy, but I think, cause i’m a grown up and I dont have to listen to my mommy or daddy anymore, - sometimes, bad words can be used to describe bad things. And my family, isn’t very good.” I shrug and she nods.

“I think multiplication homework is all fucked up” she said and Carm, Sadie and I howl with laughter.

“Ayyyy!!!! No! No- not allowed that word ‘till y’re like 13 kid, that was y’re one pass, y’mother is gonna fuc- flipping- kill me if she hears that comin’ from y’mouth” he pats her head gently.

“Mommy says you and Cousin Carmy are bad influences for me, what does that mean?” She looks up at him and he rolls his eyes. “It means that your mommy is telling you things that are none of your business. When she tells you those things, just say nicely “I dont think thats my business mommy” “ I told her and Carm squeezes my hand assuringly.

We get up to the entrance and I was practically dancing with anticipation, I couldn’t stay still. “Sadie” I said and she looks over “I’m like-” I shake my hands “Like- too excited, it’s too loud, too many people- can we play hands?” I asked , it was a game we’d develouped since we’d both seemed to absorb way too much nervous, excited energy while around crowds like this, where we’d both stand about a foot away from eachother, and push our hands together until one of our feet moved, and the person who remained still would be the winner.

She frowns, “Sorry dude, my hand- remember?” she said and I sighed, nodding and crossing my arms over my middle, squeezing my waist- trying to find any semblance of grounding I could.

Sadie had broken her hand at work a while ago, and needed some kind of tendon surgery to fix it- so playing hands wasn’t really an option for her since it wasn’t good for her to put pressure on it.

“Whats hands?” Carm asks, wrapping his arm around me- and for whatever reason the material of this shirt was making me cringe right now.

“Agh-” I step away, rubbing over my arm where the fabric brushed me. “Sorry.. Sorry- we haven’t washed it yet” I said and he looks down.

“My shirt? ‘M sorry baby, it’s buggin you?” he asked and I shook my head.

“I-it wasn’t i’m just…it’s s’much and I love it but ‘m just…I dunno- hands is a game we like, hold up your hands like this” I show him and he copies.

“I cant win y’re too strong so just let me push on you” I said and he nods.

“Push away baby” he smiled a bit and I connected our palms, putting all of my strength into pushing him but of course he didnt budge, he had a little less then a foot and a bit more then 100 pounds on me, so that was to be expected. But the relief of focusing all my energy in to somewhat of a physical release had the same effect.

I gave him a hug when my arms felt like Jelly and rest my cheek on his chest. “Can y’cover my ear so it’s more quiet” I asked him and he nodded, gently covering up my exposed ear with his hand and kissing the top of my head sweetly. I closed my eyes, sighing as I felt a sense of relief flood my senses at the much more dulled noise. “Thank you” I mumble and he rubbed my back gently with is other hand.

About 10 minutes later when the line finally started moving, I’d felt much better and way more regulated. “M’ better, thank you Bear” I told him, puckering my lips.

“Any time angel, y’know I brought your airpods f’you, right? In case you wanted to listen to music in the car? They’re charged, they have the noise cancellation thing on them” he said and my mouth drops.

“Carmen” I said in shock.

“What?!” He chuckles, digging in his pockets and pulling out my pink airpods case.

“You are the most thoughtful man in the god damn world baby, how did I get so fuckin’ lucky? I didn’t even think of the noise cancellation, y’re so fuckin smart, Bear” I cupped his cheeks, pulling him down for a deep loving kiss.

He pulled away, quicker then I would like, but I still knew he’s a bit shy when it comes to showing love in public. His cheeks were bright pink, and a smile danced on his lips.

“Totally not, but f’some reason I guess you bring the thoughtfulness outta me” he said, slipping the case back in his jeans pocket. I linked our arms together and he got the tickets ready, and Sadie taps both our shoulders suddenly.

We looked back at her, seeing she was holding her phone up “Cheese lovebirds!” She chirps and I smile wide, Carm leans in and kisses my cheek sweetly. “I’m convinced you don’t want Syd and I’s family seeing your face, Carmen” she teases and I giggle, smushing his cheeks and holding his face towards the camera, laughing

“Get it Sadie!! Quick!” I said and she clicked the button a few times.

“Perfect got one not blurry one with a smile, thanks Pooh” she slips her phone in her pocket. We got up to the gate and Carm hands the woman scanning our tickets.

“Us five” he motions to us and she nodded, scanning them all. “Enjoy the show, bag check’s up at the doors” she said, handing the tickets back and he put them back in the envelope, and back in my purse securely before we continued on.

“Alright baby so you guys go do your bracelets, Richie, Eva and I are gonna wait for y’re shirts n’ stuff, d’you want drink money?” He asks and I shake my head.

“No sugardaddy i’m fine” I teased, giving him a peck on the lips. “I love you, see you in like 30- er 45 ok? We’ll meet- “ I look over near the doors to see there was a little garden section with a smokers area. “Perfect! Smoke garden there” I point and he nods.

“I love you, be safe yeah? Call me f’r anything y’need” he held my waist securely, waiting for a response. “Yessss Carmy!” I giggled, “Were amongst friends here, you’ll see everyone is so super nice” I link my arm in Sadies, heading off to meet new fans.

“Oh my god you girls look awesome can my daughter take a picture with the two of you?” a blonde woman asks Sadie and I, I smiled wide - this was not the first time tonight we’d gotten that. Our outfits were an absolute hit tonight.

“Why of course! Would the two of you like to trade bracelets?” I asked, getting down to the level of the miniature copy of the mother, offering her a “Evermore” bracelet in my hand, adorned with maroon, green and brown beads.

“Yes please” she said shyly, taking one of the bracelets off her wrist that were much oversized and handing one to me then to Sadie, to which she put a “Karma” bracelet in her hand in return. As we were ending the conversation, Sadie opens her purse, handing over my phone.

“Carmen” she told me.

“Sorry ladies- it was so nice talking, my boyfriend is trying to get ahold of us- have a fabulous time” I told them and slid to answer, not even remembering to checking the time.

“Baby! We just got to the garden, where are you, you alright?” He said. I smile a bit, looking over about 100 paces to my right seeing him standing there, in the smokers garden holding the phone to one ear and a cigarette in the other, taking a drag as he waited for my response.

“Bear” I giggle “Look - mmm- 2 oclock?” I said and he turns the opposite way. “Y’know, f’r a guy thats obsessed with time, y’re shit at finding someone on the clock analogy” I teased and he turned the other way, the setting June sun allowing him to find me and Sadie nearly immediately from the sunlight bouncing off our outfits.

“Jesus dunno how I missed you guys y’re like fuckin bottles of glitter” he chuckled and I hung up, grabbing Sadies arm and leading her over to him.

“Thank you” I replied when I got up to him, kissing his cheek. “Carmen” I said, looking at the four bags of merch sitting on the table. His cheeks heat slightly.

“Okay- babe, listen, s’you told me y’wanted that crewneck, and the tshirt, but I f’rgot which t’shirt and I was not waiting in that line again for another hour and a half - so- so I just got like…one of everything - and I also got one for Sadie- perfectly reasonable a-and I got Eva some extra stuff too. But- s’you…just-just chill out here, and i’m gonna go bring this stuff t’the car with Richie.” he said and I laugh.

“Bear! Oh my god- no more gifts until my birthday!” I told him and he chuckled, picking up two of the bags. “Can’t promise anything like that baby, call me if-” I finished for him.

“We need anything” I kissed his lips sweetly. “Thank y’Carmy, really, y’didn’t have to go all out like this - I’ll…” I took a deep breath, trying to contain my emotions. “I’ll never forget this, baby” I said softly, doing everything in my power to hold the tears back.

“I know you wont, angel. I love you” he kissed my forehead sweetly and he and went off with Richie. I sat down immediately after they left, my hip was already starting to feel tight due to the heels and all the up and down crouching to meet little fans.

“Ooo Eva! Look another little girl in a Fearless dress! Y’wanna go give her a Fearless bracelet?” Sadie asks her and she nods excitedly, holding her hand as they walked over. I watched them, smiling as I did so- taking everything in.

By the time Carm and Richie had gotten back, Sadie and I were once again tipsy off of the drinks she’d ran and gotten us from the bar truck, and I had been smart enough to sneak in some shots in my bra to give them the extra kick. She’d even gotten Eva a virgin one of her own in the same fancy disposable cup, so she wouldnt feel left out.

“Fuck you walk fast” Richie says, plopping down in the seat across from me at the little patio table we’d claimed, panting.

“You walk slow as shit Cousin” Carm pats my shoulder for me to get up and sit in his lap, for which I was very grateful- because even through the alcohol my hip began throbbing from sitting on the hard metal chair.

I get up, taking my spot in his comfortable lap and sighing in relief. He digs out a cigarette from his jacket pocket he’d put on, lighting one between his lips. The sun had already went down most of the way and the 60 degree weather, which was cold to me- wasn’t going to do anything good for my hip. “Did y’bring mine?” I ask him quietly.

“Y’re prerolls baby? I brought 3 f’you, you hurtin’ already?” he asks after he took a drag. I bit the inside of my lip gently and shrug, looking at my lap. “Alright no more bracelets, I want y’to be able to enjoy y’rself baby, here” he hands me his cigarette to hold for him while he dug my preroll out of his pocket, lighting it for me before we switched. I leaned against his chest, taking a drag and blowing it away from the table.

“Thank y’for remembering, Bear” I said softly and he wrapped his arm around my waist securely, rubbing my good hip gently.

“Course angel” He mutters and kisses my shoulder before having another drag of his cigarette.

By the time I finished my preroll, I was feeling much better, the pain was mostly non-existant and would stay that way for hopefully a few hours. I finished the rest of my drink on the way in to bag check, chucking the disposable cup with Taylors name on it in the garbage.

By the time we’d gotten to our seats Sadie, Eva and I were balls of excitement. The view of the stage was insane. Sadie and I were in the upper bowl last time, so seeing how really big the stage was, was crazy. My head - Carms head, wouldnt even hit the top of it, which told me that it had to be taller then 6 feet. “Y’know” I said, to Carm, “I don’t know why I thought the stage would be…shorter? But Taylor wears 6 inch heels, so shes 6’5? 6’6 in her shoes? So to get around under there-”

“Six fucking foot?!” he exclaimed, eyes wide. I laughed at his surprise.

“Yaaas! 6 foot tall amazonian goddess” I giggle and he raised his eyebrows.

“Shit I knew she was tall but when I met ‘er the other-” he slaps his hand over his mouth, and my eyes nearly bulge out of my head, and Richie and Sadies head snap in his direction.

“You WHAT?!”

“YOU MET WHO!?”

“BEAR WHAT”

Sadie, Richie and I all spoke at once and he shakes his head. “No- Like- no” he laughs nervously, shaking his head. “No not what I meant- I meant if y’know like if I met ‘er” he said, and I knew he was lying through his teeth.

“Did you meet Taylor Alison Swift, yes or no- if you lie, I will never let you touch me again” I said, staring into his very soul. It only took about 3 seconds for him to crack.

“Itwasonlyf’rlike3minutesandshegavemetheticketscauseherboyfriendlikesitalianfood” he blurted out and my eyes widen.

“No - no- Carmen. You MET HER?!” I said and he gives me a shy nervous smile.

“Mmmhmm..but like- 2 seconds babe- and- yeah shes fuckin huge- like- so tall” he said and I shook my head.

“What did you say to her- go, in your brain- now - because I know you have a fucking photographic memory, and tell me what transpired, Carmen. Tell me” I squeeze his wrist in anticipation and he sighed.

“That- that you really wanted t’come here, and that you love her music, and that- that she reminds me of a cat? And she laughed! I made her laugh babe” he said smiling bigger.

My jaw drops once more “SADIE” I lean over, looking at her. “Do you know what this MEANS?! TAYLOR Thinks MY Boyfriend is FUNNY! That means…that means- she likes what I like…so- oh my god- we’d totally be friends- Carm likes you, Carm likes me- She liked Carm, She likes us!!!” I said excitedly and Sadie nods with a big smile.

“We are so delulu” she said, laughing and Carm chuckles.

“The hell is delulu?” He questions and I laughed. “Delusional my lovely old man” I peck his lips gently and he shakes his head with a smile.

I had forced myself to sit suring the BOYGENIUS set, even though I did quite enjoy them, I had to save my energy for Taylor. I made a bit of an acception for Sabrina though, since Sadie and I hadn’t seen her before, and her stage presence was so magnetic that we just couldn’t help but get up and dance.

When the clock came on the screen, Richie, Sadie, Eva and I shot up out of our seats and Carm got the hint as well. “Alright baby whats happening” He asked and I giggle, jumping like a kid on Christmas with excitement.

“The QUEEN is about to come out!” I said in his ear over the screaming and looked back to the screen, my hands coming to my mouth in anticipation.

At the sound of the first ‘It’s been a long time comin’ Sadie, Eva, Richie and I scream.

“FUCK YEAHHH!!!” Richie whoops, causing me to giggle. I held Sadies hand tightly as the dancers come out with the breathtaking watercolor shell like billowing tapestries, bowing at the front of the stage over where Taylor comes out.

Carm leans over, “What’s with the flags baby?” he asked in my ear.

I gently rest my hand on my cheek, he crouches down slightly so I could hear him. “Its the birth of Venus, the analogy” I told him and he nods. I let go of his hand as the beginning sequence ended putting my hands on top of my head, completely unsure how to cage the all-consuming surge of emotions coursing through my veins.

‘It’s been a long time comin’ but- Its you and me- Thats my whole world! They whisper in the hallway ‘shes a bad bad girl’ Okay! The whole school is rollin’ fake dice, you play stupid games you win stupid prizes!’

Sadie, Richie, Eva and I go nuts, scream singing every word, dancing and jumping. I didnt even realize I was crying until I felt Carm’s hand around my waist, leaning down and saying in my ear, “Havin’ fun honey?”

I looked up to him, Smiling huge “THE MOST FUN EVER! I LOVE YOU!!!” I shout loud enough for him to hear, kissing his lips lovingly before continuing to watch. Sadie and I dance and sing and scream for the rest of Miss Americana, and when It got to the Cruel Summer bridge, the whole stadium was buzzing with excitement.

“Alright New York City!” Taylor says and everyone screams in response. “We have arrived, at the very first bridge this evening- And you may know this is my only show in this beautiful city that is my home away from home- So I want you to scream it!!! Lets Go!!” and scream it Sadie, Eva, Richie and I do.

During Lover, Carm sweetly held me as we swayed and listened, his arms wrapped around my waist and I rested my head against his chest, soaking in the sweetness of the moment. And of course, during The Archer, her comforted me while I cried because of how much the song meant for me and my anxiety problems, kissing my forehead and gently wiping my tears.

During Fearless Eva spun in the isle while Taylor did, and I could’ve sworn Taylor saw her by the kiss she blew in our direction between verses - but all of my intuition was shown to be right, because during the ‘Enchanted’ era, A woman in a black tshirt and black pants comes up to our isle, walking infront of me and Carm down to Richie and Evas seat, and whispers something in Richies ear, to which he nods very quickly, before leaning down and whispering something in Evas ear and she jumps up and down, until the woman in the black shirt whispers something else in her ear and she very quickly calmed down, nodding obediently and taking the womans hand.

Sadie gives me wide eyes as shes taken with the woman and stands up with the woman where the barricade is. “What’s goin on with Eva?” Carm asks in my ear.

It took everything in me to not burst in to tears knowing how much this was going to mean to Eva. “Shes gonna get the hat!” I told him and his eyes widen.

“During- during 22?” He asked and I nod excitedly. He got his phone out, ready to record. When the time came, Eva was brought to sit on a platform right in front of the stage, and was sitting on her knees as she patiently waited, wiggling around to the song.

Richie right behind her at the barricade in the isle, recording the whole interaction, and Sadie and I sing and dance to the song, relishing in the pure enchantment on Eva’s face as Taylor kneels in front of her, trading bracelets with her before putting the hat on her head and brushing the rim playfully and getting up to continue singing. As soon as the security lifted Eva back over the barricate, she sprints in to Richies arms, and he picks her up, spinning her around and kissing her cheek.

“Oh my godddd!” I said my heart melting at the sight and Carm stops filming, I look up to see a few stray tears wetting his cheeks as well.

“Ohhhh my sweet bear” I said, rubbing his chest gently.

“Holy fuck! Look at that!!” Richie said as he comes back to their seats. Eva bounces all around, a whole new fire to her energy.

School on Monday is gonna be epic for her surely.

During All Too Well ten minute version, Carm and I decided to sit and have some water to let my hip get some much needed rest for a little bit. He wrapped his arm around me, leaning back in his seat and running a hand through his hair, yawning. “Tired?” I ask and he nodded a bit.

“I didn’t think I would be t’be honest, y’know how late we stay up, think I just need a cigarette if ‘m honest” he said and I nodded. I rest my head on his shoulder, continuing to watch Taylor infront of us.

Thankfully, the Folklore era was next, which wasn’t too much of a dancey album- so we all got to sit for 20 minutes through all too well, and betty, which was very nice that we had some time to recharge, especially since after this era, 1989 era was next, which Sadie and I were both huge fans of. I sat up for The Last Great American Dynasty though, Screaming along with Sadie,

“There goes THE LOUDEST WOMAN THIS TOWN HAS EVER SEEN!!!” as did the majority of the crowd.

I held Carms hand during August, resting my head on his shoulder once more and he gives me a kiss on the forehead. “Is- is she barefoot babe?” he asks in my ear and I laughed, looking up at him.

“No silly- shes wearing ballet slippers? Like what ballerinas wear before they go on pointe?” I said and he nods.

“Ahhh” he said and chuckled a bit. “S’rry they’re so close to her skin color” he said and I shook my head, giggling.

Standing up right away with Sadie and Eva when she came over to our side to wave and waving at her excitedly, blowing kisses and holding up hearts. She smiles big and waves back at us that had to be for us- shes looking right at us.

Sadie and I jump and scream, remaining standing since she walked down the whole length of the stage, and we would get insane videos and pictures since she was going to stopping right in front of us or the majority of the song.

It took my breath away, when she stopped, belting the bridge, and dropping to her knees right in front of us on the stage. ‘And I can go anywhere I want, Anywhere I want, just not home. And you can aim for my heart, go for blood. But you would still miss me in your bones. And I still talk to you - when I'm screaming at the sky, And when you can't sleep at night - you hear my stolen lullabies. I didn't have it in myself to go with grace and so the battleships will sink beneath the waves’ She stood up, her white gown flowing like angel wings as she spun around and began her decent back down the stage.

I wiped the tears streaming down my face from the touching performance, shaking my hands and rolling my shoulders when she song was over. Carm kisses my temple, “Y’happy angel?” He asked, and I look up at him as if he got me the moon on a fucking string.

“Happy? I’m…fuckin elated, baby- I cant even digest how happy I am right now” I laugh and pulled him in to a sweet kiss.

We all sang and dance along to 1989, Carm being very proud of himself for knowing all the words- probably since they were so popular when he was living in New York, and he’d told me once while watching this era during the movie for the 50 millionth time, that alot of the songs they “played to death” in the restaurants he worked.

It was so fuckin fun to watch him fully let loose, and dance with me, sing with me, not a speck of shyness to be found. It just turned up my fire to 100, giving me a whole new love for this album.

“And to the fella over there with the hella good hair Won't you come on over, baby? We can shake, shake, shake” I sang along, ruffling Carm’s messy curls and he laughs, kissing me sweetly before the beat dropped again and I started bouncing and happily dancing again.

At the beginning of Bad blood, I tap him and he leans in “ ‘sup baby?” he asks.

“When she says ‘If you live like that, you live with ghosts’ f’r the first time, you gotta screeeeam ‘you forgive, you forget, but you never let it go’- ok?” I told him and he nods, giving me a thumbs up.

“Got it” he said and I giggled happily, turning my attention back to the stage. When she sang it, without fail, Carm shouted along with Me, Sadie, Richie and Eva as promised and Richie slaps his back approvingly.

“Fuck yeahhh cousin!! You study?” He teased and Carm shook his head.

“No need,” he wraps his arm around me. “ Got a professional w’me most the time” he kissed my head and I laughed, resting my head on his shoulder lovingly.

When Taylor came out in her red surprise song dress, I held Carms hand, screaming excitedly.

“Hellooooo” she said adorably, strumming her guitar. “So- you’ve made it to the acoustic set, if you didn’t know, every show I sing a few different songs from my catalog cause, y’can only fit so much into a concert- and I’ve been told i’ve released an ungodly amount of albums” she giggles, getting a ton of laughs from the crowd of course, we all fuckin’ adore her.

“So tonight, I usually only take requests from friends, but I got this request the other day- and the songs actually sounded like they’d go cute together, and y’guys know me, of course i’ll spice em up for you a little” she said and started the opening chords.

“The way you move is like a full on rainstorm, and I’m a house of cards, you’re the kinda wreckless that should send me runnin’ but I kinda know that I wont get far” She sings, and I couldn’t contain it anymore- I burst into tears. This song means so much to me, the amount of times Chris and I listened to this song together- it was his favorite Taylor song, which led it to become my favorite song of hers after he passed.

Carm rubs my arm gently, holding me to his chest and squeezing me gently. “I love you” he said in my ear and kisses my temple. I took a shaking breath, not even able to respond as this was the first time i’d heard this song live before, and all I could imagine was how much Chris would’ve loved this show.

I lean in to him, watching the stage, and once Sadie realizes what was happening, she wraps her arms around me as well, resting her head on my shoulder. “He’s probably here, y’know, spiteful fuck wouldn’t come here in the afterlife unless you were with ‘em right? So lets party with em, not cry” Sadie said in my ear and I smiled, looking over at her.

“Have I told you you’re the bestest friend and my fuckin platonic soulmate?” I told her and she giggles, wiping my tears.

“Yes, I believe once or twice, and you’re mine - now are we gonna cry during the bridge? Or are we gonna lose our fucking minds?” she asked and I nodded, holding her hand and sniffling, finding my composure once more. There would be loads of time to digest this and cry about it later on, for now I want to live in this beautiful, happy moment.

“I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild!! Just keep on keepin’ your eyes on me, It's just wrong enough to make it feel right!” we held hands, dancing and laughing and singing. It truly was magical.

But I was awestruck when instead of finishing the bridge, she slips in to Mine instead, Carm and I’s song, the song that reminded me so much of him. I look at him, jaw dropped as she sings.

“Brace myself for the goodbye, cause it’s all i’ve ever known, but you took me by surprise- you said ‘I’ll never leave you alone..’ “ before slipping right back in to sparks fly, “Drop everything now, meet me in the pourin’ rain, kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain” and going back to Mine again, “He said ‘I remember how it felt sittin’ by the water, and every time I look at you it’s like the first time.” and going back again to sparks fly, “So get me with those green eyes baby as the lights go down give me somethin’ that’ll haunt me when i’m not around, cause i’ve seen sparks fly whenever you smile” before switching back again, “You made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing, thats ever been mine. Do you believe it? And the sparks fly”

I hugged him tightly, sobbing in to his chest. He doesnt know how much this means to me. For us to be here, together tonight, and for her to play 2 of the most important songs to me, the songs that remind me of the two people I love most - It was borderline overwhelming.

For the next song per usual she sat down at her piano, and without another speech, started playing the opening chords of Evermore and Sadie and I lost it, screaming ferally with the rest of the stadium once we realized which song it was.

Carm laughs at our excitement, rubbing my back. “S’did she pick good ones t’night?” he asked in my ear. I look up at him, everything clicking in to place for how he planned every single thing about this night.

I shook my head, laughing and pulling him to me. “You have unlimited head, for the rest of our lives” I told him and he laughed, kissing my cheek gently.

“I wont say no to that- if y’re offerin” he mused, patting my bum gently. I kiss him again and again, wrapping my arm around his middle and resting my head on his chest, hugging him tightly.

“I love you” I said and kissed his neck sweetly. He brushed my sweaty curls from my forehead, gently stroking my cheek with his forefinger.

“I love you baby, s’much, endlessly” he said and kissed my lips once more.

I rested in to him as he held me from behind, “This ones sad babe..but what the hell does unmoored mean?” he said in my ear and I giggle, Looking up at him.

“A mooring is where ships are docked during a storm, baby, if your ships unmoored- y’re fucked” I told him and he raised his eyebrows, nodding and continuing to listen along intently.

He wraps his arms around me securely, resting his chin atop my head, and I’d never felt safer, more secure, more loved, and thought of, and listened to then I did in this moment. Hot tears stream down my cheeks but a huge smile was still plastered on my face. My entire chest felt warm, like I could explode with all of the love that was coursing through me, I felt like I was literally glowing.

When the song finished, I look up at him with a small sad pout. “Only one more era… then it’s all done” I said a bit sadly and he chuckles.

“Only one more baby? Your voice is already gone, I don’t think we could do anymore after it’s over” he said and kisses my forehead, wiping the residual tears from my cheeks and eyes. I giggled a bit.

“Sorry, I know my voice probably sounds annoying” I said and clear my throat, it did feel really raw, and sore as well. I was probably not gonna have much of a voice for a good few days.

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Baby, you could never annoy me, it’s cute - it shows you had alot of fun” he said, rubbing my hip gently.

I lean in, kissing his lips gently before the beginning of Lavender Haze started and Sadie and I go nuts, - Richie just pumps his fist, as he was now holding a sleeping Eva in his arms and I pout, grabbing my phone and taking a photo before turning my attention back to the stage.

During Vigilante Shit, Carm leans down and says in my ear, “Y’gonna dance f’me like that in your pretty outfit baby?” he asked and I felt butterflies swarming in my stomach, if my cheeks werent already flushed from moving around so much i’d be blushing like mad.

“If you can handle it- we havent even got to the good part yet” I teased, kissing his jaw gently and he kissed my lips hungrily.

“T’morrow, i’m cashin in on one of those tickets f’head mentioned earlier, and y’re wearin’ that” he told me and I look up at him, a pesky smirk on my lips and I raised my eyebrows surprised at his boldness.

“Someones in a mood” I giggled and peck his lips before turning my attention back to the stage.

During Bejewled when Taylor came to the end of the stage shaking her hips to show off her fringe, I stepped in the isle, jumping and waving to try and get her attention and shook my hips, mirroring her. She smiled wide and pointed at me before she said her little ‘Nice!’ waving in my direction and I’m glad Carm had followed me in to the isle because when she walked away my knees nearly buckled under me.

Sadie came over, jumping in excitement and patting my arm excitedly, “DUDE!!! DUDDEEEE!!! SHE SAID HIII!!!” She laughed and hugs me tight and we bounced and jumped and sang the rest of the whole song, nothing could’ve brought me down in that moment.

We danced and sang to Mastermind, and when she came out with her Rainbow jacket, I point at her, tugging Carms sleeve and he leans down to hear me.

“I lied!!! If you can find one of those rainbow jackets for a reasonable price- I’ll accept” I told him and he laughs, nodding and giving me a thumbs up.

“I’ll try t’find one f’you princess, promise” He kissed my temple.

Carm and I danced hand in hand to Karma together, singing every lyric, him knowing them all since i’d listened to it so often with him around, and it was one of her more repetitive songs after all, pointing to him when we’d sing, ‘Karma is my boyfriend’, dancing, jumping around, laughing, fully enjoying ourselves. We all needed this.

When the song ended, and Taylor was thanking her band and dancers, a man with a stage headset wearing black jeans and a black shirt, similar to the woman who collected Eva, came down the row, stopping at Carm and saying something in his ear.

He looks back at them, a confused look on his face, “Who? I don’t know anyone in there-” he said and the man leaned in again, saying something else in his ear and Carm’s eyebrows raised in surprise. He looked at me before back at the man. “Okay- but i’m takin’ her.” he said, pointing to me, and the man shook his head.

“Just you-” he replied over the music and Carm shakes his head in response.

“Tell ‘em I said where I go, she goes, so he can fuck all the way off if she can’t come with” he said and the man shrugged, walking off again.

“What was that?” I asked him over the music.

“Travis Kelce wanted t’talk t’me? But the douche said only I could go, ‘mnot doin’ that” he shook his head, resuming clapping and cheering with the rest of the crowd. My jaw drops and I hit his arm gently.

“Babe! What the hell? No!!! Go over there!!! Do you know how much business it would bring if he talked about The Bear on his podcast?” I asked and he shrugs in response.

“Don’t care, I need y’with me babe. I can’t talk t’him without you, Taylor will probably be there- I can’t just…go meet her without you, thats fucked” he said and I pout, hugging his arm and the same man comes over again.

“Alright, but just you, and her, no one else” he explained and Carm nods, grabbing his jacket from the chair and lacing our fingers together as we followed. I felt my heart racing. So hard that I felt my pulse in my throat, it was taking everything in me to just pay attention to each step and not stumble over my own feet.

We’re led to a white tent, various famous people standing about, but the tallest person there also- seemingly the biggest personality in the room, had invited us. “Yoooooo there he is! Bro- wassup!” he comes over, giving Carm a guy hug, patting his back firmly.

“Y’guys like the show? Fuckin’ crazy shit right!!” he said. His voice was booming, and I thought Carmy was loud- even he wouldn’t win in a screaming match with this guy.

“Yeah, really awesome she puts on a fantastic show, Nice t’meet you I’m Carmen- everyone usually just calls me Carm though, and this is my girl, Winnie” he said and I smiled nervously, giving a small wave. I literally could find no words to say to this man, I felt everything I said would make it back to Taylor and I’d end up embarrassing myself.

“Winnie!! Cool like the bear? Sick name, that outfits firreee girl! Where’d you get it?” he asks and my eyes widen and I looked down at my outfit and back at him, my cheeks going red.

“Uh- I-I made it?” I said in awe that he recognized anything at all about me. Mostly the fact that he was a guy, a football jock at that, but also - he is dating the most beautiful, sought after women in the world at the moment.

“Whaaat?! Shit!! You Swifties are crazy Taylor’s gonna love that she should be-”

“TRAVYYYY” we heard and I spun around so fast I thought my head may fly off to see Taylor fucking SWIFT barreling up to her boyfriend, and jumping into his arms- wrapping herself around him the same way I did with Bear. My grip on his arm tightened and I look up at him like an absolute deer in headlights.

“C’mon- go say hi princess, shes really nice” he whispers in my ear.

“Thereee she is, you did so amazing honey!” Travis told her, spinning her around causing her to laugh excitedly.

“Oh my god- Heyyy Chef! Did Travis drag you over here?” she asked, hopping down from his arms and Carm chuckled a bit.

“Hardly dragged, but uh yeah- great- awesome show, still stand by what I said about the cat thing, though” Carm said with one of his teasing grins and I just look between them, in utter shock. He was playing around with her?!

She laughed, turning to Travis “Trav- he told me that I remind him of his cat during tolerate it, y’know I was thinking about that the whole song” she said and Travis chuckles.

“Thats the highest compliment you could’ve given her. Her and cats is somethin’ else. But- look babe” he told her and motions to my outfit.

“T she made that” he said and my heart was thumping so hard it felt like it would fly out of my chest. I felt so small in front of her, both physically and emotionally. I was unsure why I felt this way, the love I had for the woman in front of me was unreal, but there was like a…mental block? Anything i’d ever wanted to tell her had slipped my mind, and my whole brain was dark and empty.

“Oh my GOD no way! Crazy holy shit” she said coming over and running her fingers over the beads. Carm nudges me gently, urging me to talk to her.

“Tell her baby, about all the beads” he said and I swallow thickly, nodding.

“I-um- Hi I-im Winnie..it’s like- This is crazy I-wow… um - so- so see um…they're in clusters of 13 and 7 alternating, a-and.. There are 89…rows, um each- each section. S-so like this panel and the back one a-and then, I didn’t plan it, but each um..each big bead it ended up being perfect if I secured them 13 times, s-so they’d like stick up how y’rs do” I rambled nervously and she leaned in, looking closer.

“Wow” she whispered, “This is sick- you’re a professional then?” she stood up straight, towering over me once more and I looked up at her.

“Um” I manage to get out.

“She could be- she spent…what was it babe? 450 hours on this? And y’took that sewing class, and that rhinestone class and everything?” Carm encourages, it’s not supposed to be him who’s the talker. He’s probably panicking right now and i’m gonna be the reason for a panic attack when we got out of here.

“Yeah! Mmmhmm- and y’re like- wow Taylor” my sudden realization such a high stakes social situation would absolutely be freaking him out. “I- like- I’ve been such a fan of your art since like- Middle School- I- I couldn’t see you until I was older cause’- y’know, life gets in the way, but- last year I got this-” I paused, pulling up my hair and showing her the little mirrorball script tattoo on the back of my neck.

She gasped, running her finger over it gently, and even though I was hot, goosebumps still rose on my flesh. “ Wow “ she said softly. “Thats…thats so pretty…I love the grey its so delicate and pretty” she said.

I turned to her again, smiling big and taking her hands. “Thats how I am about everything you accomplish - just, Wowed everything you do, everything you are- like- you’ll be in the history books- there are so many things about you and your career that are like- just..like-” I laugh, shaking my head. “How do you do it? I know thats like… a stupid question? But like- It’s…like insanity” I said and she laughs a bit, nodding.

“Thank you! Honestly I-I don’t…really know? Alot of times…Like- I can tell we’re not too far apart in age just by how you carry yourself and stuff and… hearing you listened to me in middle school- it’s like- crazy because I’ve lived one million lives since then…I guess thats how? But really..it means alot that my art means alot to you, and i’m so grateful that you came. The tattoo is so pretty, also- your name is just like…Adorable” she squeezed my hands and I felt tears welling up behind my eyes.

“I’m so sorry to be a freak and cry, you’re just, so special, like- not in a fan way- in a human way. You-” I took a deep breath. “You are a light, a beacon for so so many young women, Taylor. And you have been for so long - and you will only get better, you have proved that. Like- i’m not sure if some guy really told you your aura was moonstone, but it truly is, you just sparkle, and - you like…are just- Thank you, for being you, and thank you for being so raw in your music, and just…thank you” I said and she pulls me into a hug, wrapping her arms around me.

“Thank you, Winnie” she said, rubbing my back. I internally was uncontrollably sobbing and screaming but- on the outside, I somehow managed to just hold her back and hug her like a normal person.

“I’m sorry- im sure you’re probably annoyed with hearing that stuff but…it’s true, and- I…I guess thats what makes you you- is how humble you are…like- you know I’ve never heard a bad word about you?” I asked and she laughed, pulling away and looking at me.

“C’mon, y’re kidding” she rolled her eyes with a smile, “I’ve seen plenty of awful things about me” she said and I shook my head.

“N-no! No, Taylor, like- sure do people come after your looks, and your voice, because thats all they have to try and pick apart- shallow bullshit..even though you’re like- factually a model - and any person who’s studied a lick of music knows that you have an undeniably insane range and incredible vocal and breath control- this isn’t out of my ass Taylor, I-I was in theater because you inspired me...I was like ‘if this cool 16 year old can put out an album I can do a play’ and I did.. But-but this is about you. I’ve never heard a bad word about you- I’ve been in your fandom for gosh- a year after you started in 2006? All over.. Gee- twitter, facebook, myspace, the old swift app, everything, And i’ve never ever-ever seen someone online or in real life thats like ‘oh my gosh i met Taylor Swift and she is sooo mean’ - anything i’ve ever heard, about things that matter- you are a beautiful, humble, kind person.” I said and she pouted, pulling me into another hug.

“Are you trying to make me cry?” She asks with a giggle, holding me tight. Her PR manager, Tree, comes into the VIP tent.

“Lets get a move on chicky poo - gotta be on the plane in an hour,” she told Taylor and she pulled away.

“Duty calls” she sighs and I giggled.

“It was..enchanting to meet you Miss Swift” I said with a smile and she laughs, pulling me into another hug.

“I like you, you’re sweet, we’ll meet again sometime, ok? Trav is over there chattin’ up your boyfriend to get us into his restaurant for a night” she assured and I look up at her.

“What?! Oh my GOD! Thats…wow- we’d love to have you in Chicago.” I said and Carm comes up, grabbing my wrist.

“C’mon, we’ve been kicked” he joked and Travis laughs a bit.

“I’ll text you man, we’re gonna have a few spare days later this month i’ll try to give plenty of notice” Travis said, coming over and wrapping his arms around Taylors middle and kissing her head.

“Y’ready?” he asks her and she nods, sighing a bit.

“Exhausted” she told him and I squeeze her hand.

“Get some rest, y’deserve it. Kick ass show by the way- I’d go every night if I could- also, sorry I sound like…this- I wasn’t kidding when I said I love your music” I giggled a bit and she nods, smiling big.

“I love it - means you had a great time, ginger tea, and lots of local honey you’ll be good as new in a day or two if you just chug it consistently, its mostly water anyway” she said and I nod, finally letting her go.

“Thank you again…See you soon” I said and we all said our goodbyes. As soon as we were out of eye and ear shot I laugh loudly, jumping up and down, dancing around. “CARMENNNN!!!” I squeaked, hugging him and jumping happily.

“Bear- She likes me” I said excitedly, practically dragging him outside where Richie, Eva, and Sadie were sat at one of the smoke garden tables, Sadie jumps up, bounding over to me and I hug her.

“Dude- everything tell me everything” She said, I broke down in to tears.

“Shes so sweet Sadie!! She- she said she liked my outfit!! A-and Carmy and Travis are gonna be BEST FRIENDS” I cried and she rubs my back. Carmen laughed, for once at my tears, but it was tears of pure joy, so neither of us felt bad at his amusement for my emotional reaction. “Dude-WAIT- of course she liked it - C’mon- what did she say, like- start to finish also- why is Carm gonna be his best friend?” and the entire walk back to the car, as well as the whole drive home, Carm and I gave the three of them a play by play of our entire 10 minute meeting with them.

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡ ⋙

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