#they wish you could be happier�� too
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1c04e31ee64ddf643ef10a69f26a4a25/61ba833a341d6820-d1/s540x810/a0c21dfa2293cf51e8b392e43e6f941d3da4270b.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c77f2d3ddac61e71aebe2050c43a2b7a/61ba833a341d6820-7a/s540x810/84980078fb85c546ef57d00a1f493465a53a8a75.jpg)
You'd think after getting your dear daycare attendant out of the Pizzaplex you would live happily ever after, hm?
look who changed their mind to post the whole thing together oops
#my art#moondrop#fnaf moondrop#fnaf moon#moondrop fnaf#moon fnaf#moon x reader#moondrop x reader#as much as they hate being treated this way#you matter more#they are already happier than before#because you're here. close#they wish you could be happier‚ too#while you can't understand how someone is so willing to give up their personhood#you refuse to understand. refuse to let it go. they deserve so much better#and after you're gone#spending your life fighting for your loved ones#they get passed into different hands#from home to home#like properly you didn't want them to be#but they couldn't leave the work of your whole life to go to waste#and now? that it's finally done?#what can they even do?#They wouldn't even know what to do with themselves after the law is in place#because they didn't do it for themselves to begin with#you wanted then to live like people after you pass. how unfortunate#but what is properly without an owner if not a person without a sense of purpose?#long post
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
ch 175.
WHAT KIND OF FOOTBALL PLAYER...
DOES THE IDEAL CHIGIRI HYOMA WANT TO BE?
12.23 happy birthday chigiri.
#chigiri hyoma#chigiri#blue lock#bluelocksource#m#chigiri hyouma#m:colourings#m:bluelock#hyoma chigiri#fysportsanime#dailyanime#sportsanimedaily#animangaboys#shounenedit#mangaedit#HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIGIRI LOVELIEST PERSON EVER#this is year four i am celebrating his birthday and i honestly could not be happier#ok now that i look at this it is bothering me that the text is all on the left#but i fear it is what it is at this point#anyways i absolutely adore him i hope all of you adore him too please wish him happy birthday he is the most important person today#i had finished the first two like more than a year ago i fear but it is finally complete#HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIGIRI !!!!!
462 notes
·
View notes
Text
can i interest you in some of my ryuu screenshots.. a bit of a ryuu appreciation post if you will...
his design is so .. simple n kinda basic but he has so much charm,, i'm endlessly charmed by him it's literally so embarrassing... he is just very endearing and cute 👉👈 what a polite young man
and here is me trying to get a clean screenshot of this pose without the dialogue box, a saga:
i'm sad to say that this saga has no real conclusion (yet...) the wind-up animation is long enough for him to start babbling so i'm doubtful i will ever capture the screenshot i want. anyway i love this guy more than i could've ever prepared myself for 😭
#putting myself on blast with this HADSGHASHGghdg#somehow this feels worse than my olly posting ???? help me 😭😭😭😭😭#i wish i had the words to properly express how this mf makes me feel but i simply do not#<- me at olly and now ryuu too😔#WHO LET ME PLAY THIS MF GAME MAN BRING THEM HERE I NEED TO PUNC HTHEM AND THE N KISS THEM ON THE FOREHEAD#the great ace attorney#tgaa#dai gyakuten saiban#dgs#me whenever ryuu is on screen: *points* gayboy *points* tboy *points* gayboy *points* tboy *points* gayboy *points* tboy *points* gayboy *p#ryunosuke naruhodo#i got like 30h so far and like 27 of them are from the past few days 😀#anyawy i finished ch4 and let me tell you i did not see that coming. the post court stuff yknow..#susato is living out her wildest dreams reserved for self indulgent self insert fanfic and i couldnt be happier for her#man i love the character animations so much HAHSfhg theyre so silly and expressive#i saw van zieks clutch his at his heart in todays trial and i could only yell in joy#that one got me real good#n all of natsumes..... impeccable.. hes so ...
76 notes
·
View notes
Note
for requestober ! my heart's been aching for yanderapy for a while and i would like to get something about them :3 i don't have a specific prompt . i do like to see them more on the angsty-unhealthy-relationship side lol like some of the requests you made last year . overall , just seeing anything about them would be nice . X3
Day 1 - Sodium Chloride Couple
#My art#Requestober#Yanderapy#First req of the year is my boys!! I am blessed!! 💕 Thank you for thinking of them <3#Hopefully this will sate your desires enough - it's not exactly angsty but I did try to bring in a bit of their weirdness lol#Y'know that one post that's just accidentally recreating the Homestuck shipping quadrant?#I still know very little about Homestuck but does Kismesis do anything to make the two chill out or is it just aimed at each other lol#Personally I really like the concept of a sodium chloride couple! That two people match each other's freak just right and become harmless#Because that's these two so much!! They're perfect for each other on accident (on purpose) and make each other better!#Ishida would ask too much and Mitsu would give too much if they were with different people#But their tendencies balance each other out - make them realize they're going too far because of what they see in the other#That and they genuinely like each other <3 They want to improve the other both selfishly and altruistically#Selfishly because then they get the best version of the other all to themselves hehe <3#But altruistically because they wish for each other's happiness and gain confidence in their ability to grant it#They're good for each other's self esteem! Although Ishi was already pretty self-confident before they got together haha#He feels happier and more whole with Micchan tho <3 Like he wants to - and can be! - his best self for and with him#All the mushy-gushyness on them being silly together lol - clearly it's been too long since I've doodled them I'm rambly ♪#Had a lot of fun with the hands here :) Ishi holding Mitsu's face so delicately ♫#They probably could (and probably do lol) switch who's got what and be just as happy#They just enjoy being together and making each other all head-silly haha <3 Not hard for either to achieve ♪
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#lol i love seeing just straight up bullying on tiktok(/s)#someone(im guessing) went into a discord server for proshipping#and then posted their face reveals on tiktok!?!??!?!#basically saying: look how ugly and weird they look#like what the fuck#just bcs you dont agree with someones opinion ON SHIPPING#doesnt mean you should blast them on socmed?#they posted those pics in a trusted space :(#why are people so cruel and vindictive nowadays#people who make it their whole personalities to shit on pros OR antis are so embarrassing#just keep to yourself and keep your personal moral highground you know?#like they go low we go higher etc#cause on tiktok people will post very bait proshipper tiktoks#to the point where i honestly think they're 100% antis who just wanna sow discourse and disgust#like when i see those people im like just ignore them???#just dont engage man. you end up encouraging people to do worse and worse just to cause drama#but yeah antis in return will make all their posts 'correcting' these obv bait posts#like both of you get a life and just do things that make you happy. not things that obv upset you#idk it kinda sickens me how much time people devote to activities that clearly doesn't make them happy#even if youre pleased about dunking on people you morally disagree w +#wouldnt you feel happier engaging with content that yknow. fills you with genuine enjoyment?#not enjoyment fueled by disgust or morally superiority#idk some people feel like children so i shouldnt care too deeply. but the amnt of toxic behavior is so disturbing to me#the posting of faces got on my nerves badly. no matter if you disagree with someone#you shouldnt just straight up expose their face on your big acct BECAUSE OF DIFFERENCES IN SHIPPING OPINION#and the fact that the point is to imply they're all ugly. so fucking childish and disgusting#i reported but idk if that'd do anything. i wish i could have an honest dialog w people like that tbh#catie.rambling.txt
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Haven't even gotten my second paycheck yet and my mom's already hitting me up to buy things she should be buying instead. Ever since I was born I was her mother. She refuses to even drive herself so she cannot do anything without me. I'm so weary.
She's a great pal, but never a great mother. Getting her to do the bare minimum responsibilities is like pulling teeth. We keep getting into fights now that we're working together. Never at work but once we're home there's no peace.
She also seems to be conflicted where she's like, super proud of how liked I am by everyone and my work ethic, but kind of angry too? it's like she thinks I'm outdoing her even tho she's been there 7 years. She is the same way about the fact I make a little more money than her too.
She says she wants the best for me and for me to have my own life, but her needing me to be around for her to do anything tells me she's lying. She also has been almost psychotically losing it on me telling me I'm self-centered when I mention the abuse my dad put me through and that "it wasn't all bad, you just CHOOSE to be negative"
literally the only reason she loved my dad and romanticizes him so much is because he told her if she married him she'd never have to drive or work again. She was a SAHM but basically just laid around eating and playing video games for 19 years. She barely cleaned and resented cooking at all. I remember as a kid trying to ask her how to clean and cook so she wouldn't have to anymore because she would get so angry when she'd have to.
She now actually admits she was wrong for being that way all those years, but is like "I'm not like that anymore I have a job now so why are you bullying me about the past?" When I was calmly trying to explain how she affected me during my developmental years. I just can't win.
When my dad was diagnosed with a rare form of lymphoma, my mom ran to ME freaking out and depending on me and putting everything on my shoulders to deal with. I had to be the strong one. And it's been that way ever since. She loves to compare me to my dad all the time and it makes me want to die.
I've had such a broken life. I'm surrounded by the ones who have hurt me most and continue to. I still care. I still try to appease them. But when I start to show visible signs of my depression or cptsd, I am told I'm just narcissistic and abusive bc being around me when I'm really down and struggling is upsetting. It's mainly my mother who tells me that.
Idk guys, there's so much more in my life that is just embarrassingly awful I can't even go into it. I'm trying my best to fight like hell while being in my own personal hell. But it's so hard. I'm grateful to finally be making somewhat decent money, but I feel like it's all for nothing and that my end is inevitable in the near future. Please pray for me.
#don't reblog#sorry for this long vent post but it had to be said somewhere#and please don't say 'just move out asap' you have no idea how hard that is to do here and in my situation#believe me if i could rn i WOULD#what makes this worse is that it's not always like this. there are really fun days too. but it's like i said#it's only when we're acting like pals. as mother daughter it's just constant denial and deflection from her and i just end up crying#I wish my mom could just be independent and do things on her own. she'd be so much happier and less mentally ill. as would i.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
rambling for a moment but I do often think people kinda miss the point of some of the endings like the escape pod ending or the skip button ending (just to name a few specifically) when it comes to many people wishing they had happier outcomes. cause the point of those endings is the fact that they aren’t meant to be happy or have alternate positive outcomes. like those endings fulfill their purpose by being the way they are and while it’s nice to imagine alternate outcomes, I think you gotta in general understand they aren’t meant to be that way in their portrayal nor would alternate happier endings be beneficial to it either.
#crow thoughts#sorry thinking out loud because I’m too nervous to jump into a conversation 😭#but like I get wanting a happier outcome I rlly do#however i do often see people kinda miss the point of these darker/sadder endings#in specifically what they are meant to portray to the player#because I do often see people wish for happier outcomes without the acknowledgment of the purpose of these endings#erm there’s a lot more I could add onto this but it kinda loses the point gnbdjfbndg#basically there isn’t anything wrong with wishing for a happy outcome. I just think a lot of people wishing for that stuff often miss-#-the mark on why these outcomes are the way that they are#like yeah you could have a more positive outcome for these endings. but that would specifically miss the point on the narrator and-#-Stanley’s dynamic of always being opposing forces#it’s just as important as the confusion ending showcasing one of the few instances of the narrator actually being on stanley’s-#level and getting to a brief point of understanding#just yknow. feel like people miss stuff like that >.>
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
friends, followers, and fellow freaks... should i share my soul-bearing album with my high school compsci teacher, whom i have a frankly ludicrous parent-child parasocial relationship with? or should i pretend to be sane? (genuine question, but i admit it's also very funny)
here is it again by the way :) for some reason i couldn't figure out how to link directly to the playlist before... but now i can! yay
#melonposting#for the record i did share the album with two other teachers - but they already knew about my music before the summer#and they were actively interested in hearing about anything new i make. so of course i'd send them the link#but this guy? my poor compsci teacher? i mean he's heard me play the ukulele around school before but...#also i'm still half-heartedly waiting for him to finally get back to me about how to deal with being a nervous wreck in adult life#so it'd be insane for me to emerge out of nowhere saying 'hi here are all of my emotions in song form' and dumping a youtube playlist on hi#but hey i'm not legally required to see him again so there's no harm in making a massive fool of myself over email#(well no tangible harm. i'd still take psychic damage of course. especially if he responds...)#i suppose there's a genuine chance he'd be interested? we were quite chummy. quite fond of each other. hence my parasocial relationship lol#and he knows i make art... so i don't suppose he'd be like 'ew cringe' if i sent it to him???#though he's a total sweetheart so i doubt he has it in him to call anything cringe anyway <3#aaaugh!!!!!!!! curses. i wish he weren't quite so nice and easygoing so i could more easily make the decision to not send it to him#the luxury of indecision........ massive pathetic sigh#anyway if you've read all of my tags here... thank you hehe :) though i'd be all the happier if you listen to My Album too...!
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Spn blogs in my recs and they WILL NOT LEAVE.
#they’re even on my main blog now#at least for me#and like yeah I get it blood and rot and family and whatever#I think I’m getting my period soon because it usually doesn’t annoy me like this but GOD#I don’t WANT these here.#but tbh I just don’t like the fandom. it’s all very clique-y and I am so so lonely#like genuinely I haven’t felt good about a single thing I posted for that in way too long#I like WRITING but posting?? in that fandom? it’s terrible. I hate it#& I’ve taken to writing out all my frustration and anger and grief in a separate doc to be deleted before posting the main work#which is fucking. just. it’s bad. I’ve never had to do that for ANY fandom I wrote for.#and I geeeeeet that it’s because it’s such a big fandom so people know each other and it’s not like my small communities where you#parallel play in peace. but I don’t like it. it’s deeply uncomfortable and isolating and I’m so sick of it#but I also like the writing I do so I try to just stay in my niche and not look at anyone else#I think I unfollowed every fandom blog save for two? three? so I could be alone instead of lonely#but it still washes over me whenever I post something.#oh an! sometimes I’m tempted to just do something super mass appealing so they’ll like me but that just makes me feel worse#I’ve been tempted to delete my blog so many times because I lost my friends from the old fandoms and this one is the poorest substitute#but I also feel like that won’t make me happier either. I wish I’d just never started engaging w that show tbh#okay done. just. I’m going through it
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know i was thinking kiryu getting introduced to the wii would immediately throw it as hard as he can at the tv screen but actually he would wear the strap because the instructions said to do so and then when hes doing bowling hes playing for a while until he suddenly crushes it in his hand because he got too focused and clenched his fist
#Yakuza loveblog#kiryu wears the strap its strap on time he says he puts on the strap he wears the strap hear me listen to me he wears the strap#i was olaying hylics too just now but i got too scared because of the maze portion#like ahh no no no no no. theres monsters too. and its two am naoayghhhh#i believe in my heart kiryu just smashes things in his hands. like anything from controllers to eggs to lighters. like he could be holding#a can of coffee and he starts to get lost in his thiughts and he looks down and his chest is covered in leaked coffee and the can is#slicing his hand like i think he should have dinner with tachibana and hes swilling his wine fancy style and tachibana says something that#pisses him off and he just cracks the stem of the glass between his fingers. like sometimes he might not even be angry he just squeezes his#fist and somethimg gets destroyed just like hiw my hands unclench randomly his hands will clench up randomly like holding harukas hand and#she goes Ouch !!! and hes like (snoaped out of his thiughts) whuh- oh im sorry haruka. and shes like that hurt ...#dont worry she will live. but also i love the idea of kiryu shattering a lighter in his hand because he was looking at the clouds trying to#determine if it will rain. thats why he needs expensive metal ones but he keeps losing them so he buys the chesp plastic ones. he has the#hardest life ever. ihey how good do you think kiryu is at making bread i bet he can knewd some crazy dough with his grip strength i think#he would be happier baking befause theres a lot of downtime involved he can just put it in the oven and reread the instructions while its#baking ... plus i think he would look sweet with flour on his hands and cheeks ... kissing him hee hee ....#same thing with his jaw he climbs up a ladder with a lightbulb in his mouth and then he just hites down and shatters the butt end#i think it would be nice to wstch him spit glass and his poor lips are all cut up .... what a handsome young man would love to see him#crying in frustrtion because this is the seventh time its happened this month and he wishes his body woildnt spasm randomly
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
hades has gotta be top contender for The sicknastiest bass riffs ive ever heard in a game
#crow.txt#and i couldnt be happier#thats a damn lie yes i could. i wish the sound track had the room clear versions of the themes too#bc like it has an adjacent one. i guess. but it DOESNT have where the main melody falls back to the bass line until you#enter anothwr room with enemies in it. that is unironically one of my most favorite parts of this damn game#i Will just sit in an empty room to listen to the bass riffs#on one hand fr mad for not playing it sooner bc i knew id always love it. on the other glad i played it Now
1 note
·
View note
Text
Oof wow, just got hit with this feeling that I've wasted some of my best years. Truly one of those moments where you take a look around like "what have I got to show for myself?"
Am I about to have a mid-life crisis??
#fuck man#what would make me feel a sense of fulfillment?#what milestones would make me feel like i've 'made it?'#yes i wish i had traveled more by now#but even after travel you just come home to whatever you were doing#different job maybe? although my job isn't that terrible#but it's not really 'mine“#what skills did i hope to have by this ppint?#would i simply be happier with more friends like a had years ago?#or would i still feel unfulfilled#is a partber the missing piece to my life that keeps it from feeling whole?#have i been wasting these past years staying in and not dating when i should make the most of my youth?#or should i at least have been having some unconventional casual sex to explote more?#i want to believe it's not too late for me to have a life that feels right#i could just fuck off to another country and start having sex again#but would that be enough?#i think deep down i want a partner but no one has ever felt like 'my person'#and what do i even have to offer another person anyway#if i can't have a partner i guess i should at least have some wild sex before rhe ravages of age make it difficult#fun memories at least for when i inevitably end up qlone#bylarmist dread#delete later
0 notes
Text
Steve wins the bat plush at a fair when he's seven. He doesn't care about bats, but it's the prize for making all five baskets in the basketball game, so he gets the little bat. Its eyes are a little crooked and one wing is slightly smaller than the other, but it being lopsided sort of makes it cuter.
He and his dad, they're supposed to be going on rides now, but his dad's pager keeps going off. He puts Steve next to a funnel cake stand, tells him not to move, and goes in search of a pay phone. Fifteen minutes pass, and Steve is bored under the flashing lights and tinkling music. He wants to play not sit and wait.
Eventually, he drifts back towards the midway, watches the people rushing by, searches for a sign of his dad's return. His attention is caught by another boy at the basketball booth. He has to be about Steve's age, with a mop of dark curls on top of his head and a jean jacket that's slightly too big, sleeves flopping over his hands as he lines up his shots.
This boy, he's terrible at basketball. Every shot is too high or too short or goes wide, but he's trying. Even from this distance, Steve can see how hard he's trying. He uses up his five balls, fishes into his jacket pocket for more money, and gets five more.
He misses every shot. This time, when he goes back for more money, he comes up empty. Steve thinks he sees his lip shaking.
A man, one in a leather jacket and boots that Steve thinks look mean, comes up to the boy, drops a heavy hand on his shoulder. He's too far away to hear the conversation, assumes the boy asks to play again and the man's response is a shaken head and a tight smile. They walk away from the games, right towards Steve, who slinks back to the side of the midway, not wanting to be caught staring.
"What was it you wanted? That stupid bat? Just another piece of trash you wanna bring in my house." Steve hears as they pass.
The boy nods, but keeps his eyes down and to the side.
He feels bad then. Felt bad before, but now he looks at his own bat, at its funny eyes and poorly attached wings, and wishes he could hand it over to the boy who really wants it. Steve almost does, then, makes to go after them, but his dad appears, dropping a hand to Steve's shoulder and saying, "ready to hit those rides?" And he knows the opportunity is gone, knows his dad will say it's too soft, not what men do.
Steve manages to lose himself for a while in the swirling lights and funhouse music and carnival rides, forget about the little bat in his back pocket and the boy who wanted one so desperately. But then his dad's pager goes off some more, he goes back to the pay phone, and Steve ducks into the low brick building that houses the bathrooms.
His eyes immediately land on the same boy from the basketball game. His eyes are red, face damp, obviously from tears, and Steve just--
"Here." He shoves the bat into the boy's chest.
For a second, the brownest eyes Steve's ever seen widen at him, before narrowing in a harsh glare, the boy's teeth barred.
"Why?" He snarls.
Steve thinks he may regret every choice that led him to this but he says, he says, "Because I want you to have it."
The boy blinks a few times, hand reaching out to gently pinch the bat's smallest wing. "You sure?"
Steve nods and the bat is slowly withdrawn from his grasp.
"No takesies-backsies?"
"It's yours."
The boy looks at the bat in awe, and Steve says, "see? It already looks happier with you."
The boy's beaming smile is cut-off by a voice calling from the door, "you in there,? I ain't got time to be waiting for your boohooing."
"Coming!" The boy carefully tucks the bat into an inner pocket of his jacket. "Thank you," he whispers, eyes big and glistening and happy, before he disappears out the door.
---
13 years later, give or take a few months, and Steve stands in the cracked shell of a bisected trailer, rummaging through what remains of a life well-lived, searching for anything whole. He's already found a few undamaged mugs and clean hats, but this room--it took a lot of damage. The brunt of it, really. Some sick sort of joke, after everything.
It's mostly rubble in here, scraps of fabric; slivers of notebook paper, magazine, poster; crumbled shards of vinyl and cassette plastic. A few times he comes across the disembodied limb of one of those dnd figures, and something weird happens to his throat.
In the far corner there's half of a dresser collapsed into itself, and he shuffles through the debris to see what he can find. There's something, soft and black, just the edge of it, peaking out from under half of a drawer face. He pulls it out, careful as can be and it's--it's a plush bat. It's a little dirty, but unharmed, though its eyes are a little wonky, and one wing is smaller than the other.
He holds it and he stares and he has to brace himself against the wall. It can't be--it's not the same one--but he remembers those big brown eyes and the curls and--
"Harrington," a warm, rich voice calls from what's left of the hallway. "You get lost in there?"
Eddie shuffles in, slow, careful with his crutches. And it--it took so long, months and months of convalesce and physical therapy, still physical therapy, but he's here. He's alive. He's perfect. And the something blooming between them, it's not spoken yet, but it's there, growing, and now, now--
"Oh my god, you found Lilith! I thought she was toast."
"Lilith?" He's still cradling the little lopsided bat in his hands, but moves closer to hand it over to Eddie.
"Yes, Lilith." Eddie takes the bat, presses it to his chest. "The first boy I ever loved gave her to me."
His heart turns over in his chest and when he swallows his throat clicks. Eddie doesn't notice, he's smiling softly at the bat, at Lilith, but then, "why are you looking at me like that?"
"First boy you ever loved?" He says. He thinks he sounds normal.
Somehow, Eddie's smile grows even softer. "Yeah. Roan County Fair, years ago. Tried to win her, but--" he clicks his tongue--"never had great hand-eye coordination. And then this kid just gave her to me out of nowhere. I used to think I was going to marry him."
"And now?"
Eddie laughs. "I grew up, Steve."
And for a second, he doesn't know what to say, but then, "I was right then, huh? That she'd be happier with you."
He stares at Steve, those same big brown eyes, wide and glistening. "Steve that was--Steve?" Eddie presses a hand over his mouth, overcome, before launching himself into Steve's arms. The crutches clatter to the floor, but Steve has him, will always have him, no matter what.
"I can't believe you kept her," Steve whispers.
"God, I carry her everywhere. She's Corroded Coffin's mascot, and you--Steve, I can't believe that was you."
"Surprise," he bumps Eddie's forehead with his.
They hold each other in the center of the destruction, but none of that matters right now, not when it feels like every moment since they very first met as children was leading them to this.
From the other half of the trailer, they hear footsteps, chattering, Wayne and Robin and Dustin, but Steve wants this to last a little longer.
"So, marriage...that still off the table?"
Eddie laughs softly, nuzzles his face against Steve's neck. "Are you kidding, sweetheart? No way I'm letting you go."
#what if eddie uses the bat as a pocket square at their wedding what then#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#ficlet#fluff#friends to lovers#childhood first meeting#post-canon#bat plush#carnival#carnival games#steve gives eddie a plush#eddie falls in love immediately#childhood crush#all the dads suck
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#Being in vet med is so damn bleak all the time because whenever you get hope there's always some drawback that basically nullifies it.#looking for a clinical pg with rank 183 in the country but whoops can't go to your own state#and other states universities will put you in a college in buttfuck nowhere rather than their best ones#like...I am so fucking tired. Every time I try to fight my depression something comes back and reinforces it harder.#it's things like this that make me want to leave the field and do something less heavy even if the hours are longer#whenever. WHENEVER I talk to a vet it's just bleak. Everything sucks everywhere. It's a matter of choosing your hell.#EVEN THE HAPPIER VETS#And there's no promise that if I try to go abroad I won't get crippling depression there too.#like. why do I try? why didn't I choose to go to NISER when I had the chance?#Why didn't I pick a job where I can just sit at a computer all day and not have to talk to anyone#how much do airport ground staff earn? maybe I could be a tug driver. Maybe I could have done some degree to become a flight mechanic.#why didn't I know when I finished school that my mental health is fragile as fuck and I need a job that doesn't make it this much worse#I'll run a photostat shop. I'll learn to fix laptops. Anything.#People raise families with that kind of income. Surely I can look after myself with it.#Why is everything bleak all over the world all the time in veterinary medicine? why is there no silver lining anywhere?#I'm sick of this. I'm sick of being decent at my job but not being able to handle the reality of how stressful it is.#I'll do any manual labour job day in and day out six and a half days a week for my whole life but this is just killing me#rant#I'm unrealistic and ungrateful and addicted to quick dopamine#but god I wish I wasn't suffering from depression of varying degrees since 2015.#vent#personal
0 notes
Photo
Sizing chart of cute: One Size Fits All (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#Spider Bites#Have some cutes to pull you up and out! Finally out from under the Big Bads!#One of the things I've been trying to more often is fullbodies - I default to busts soooo much#They're great for expression work! But they're samey and don't stretch me to work on anything below the chest#Fullbodies are good! I like seeing the whole of my characters! And luckily Charm is cute from head to toe so drawing all of her is fun :)#If anything I still struggle with her hair so the upper half of her is probably easier to cut off generally lol#1/3rd hair type design lol#I love her shoes sm ahhh she's so cute <3#Ballet-style pose! I finally added Princess Tutu to my breakfast anime and it was quite cute I enjoyed it :D#Definitely very much a fairytale - wish Ahiru had gotten a slightly happier ending!#I think it would've shaped me a lot at my formative first-anime-engagement age haha but I still enjoyed it as an adult :)#Lots of very pretty poses of course! Fun there as well#More Marshmallow Fluff and Wafer yayy <3 <3 They're the cutes#Love the themst#And the trio's pets again! I gotta give Lemon Squares a pet so I can have all my faves gathered in earnest lol#I think I was speculating about what pet she'd have recently.....a powdered sugar fawn? I can't recall#Oh I have her with a Canary in my notes that's extremely cute haha - she could do with a lemon drop bunny too! Gah too many cutes to choose#It's always that way with the pets haha - but for these three here they're all chatting in their sleep hehe <3#Chirping and yipping and baaing hehe the cutes! Love the lads#And a bonus spider bite and Spider Bites! Truly singular and double there that's funny lol#Worried little guy just a small and lonesome lad! Not very intimidating in singular haha#I wonder what their Battle form would look like hm :)#Couple'a Spider Bites checking in with herselves - one Charm was worried but being together makes it better!#They're cute wahh#Self-confidence self-assuredness better alone together - remember to rely on others too!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Second reblog bc actually I have more thoughts
If you can't remember (cuz I've only drawn him once) my Au!Walter has a WereWolf (WereHound?) curse and he hides from everyone every full moon
To bad he can't find the words to tell little Woodie about their shared curse. Not without a way to break it
#they are both so afraid of being alone again#Walter is the first adult in Woodie’s life that hadn’t immediately written him off bc of his curse and really engaged with his interests#let alone both!#Woodie is probably desperate to get/keep his approval and terrified of driving him off by being ‘too much’ or too monsterous#consider Woodie getting extremely triggered by the phrase “put him/it down” bc even though the idea of killing him to get rid of the curse#was shut down by the adults around him growing up#it was still suggested and that was very traumatizing for him#and oh boy Walter is trying his best to be the best parent to Woodie he can be#and he knows he should accept Woodie’s curse for what it is#but he can’t help but wish he could free Woodie from it#bc not only has Walter had his own terrible experiences with having a similar curse but also#he can see how traumatized Woodie is from how people have treated him bc of it#and Walter hates himself for the chance he might lose control and hurt the ppl he cares about bc his curse#and the idea that Woodie might fall into the same cycle of self-hatred is killing him#and he’s terrified of Woodie not only finding out abt his cause and thinking he’s dangerous#but also finding out the lengths he takes to hide his curse bc if Walter’s so ashamed of his own curse#what does that say abt how he sees Woodie when he has such a similar curse?#such an emotionally charged subject for the both of them#I like to think Walter freaked the fuck out when he realized he was Woodie’s parent now#terrified less of the parental responsibility and more of the chance of failing to be the role model Woodie deserves#then he vents abt it to Webber like ‘I am not cut out for this someone’s who’s better at this should be taking care of him not me’#Webber: ‘well he didn’t choose someone else. he looks up to you yknow?’#Walter: ‘/why though/‘#he cannot imagine someone wanting him to be their parent#but also being Woodie’s parent and spending time with this bright funny kid who’s as interested in nature as he is makes him happier than#he’s been in a long time. maybe ever#and he’s so afraid to lose that and he’s so afraid of Woodie hating him
264 notes
·
View notes