#they will get hurt one way or another in the most comedic way possible

[kanasn0w]

REDRAWING THIS IMMEDIATELY.

[mo-the-gremlin-dandelion]

While I do like the Crocodad theory of Luffy's other parent, I just read a fanfic about Donquixote Rosinante (Corazon) being Luffy's other parent. And while it was a bittersweet fanfic, I find the idea of Corazon and Dragon being a couple quite funny.

Like I don't have an otp in anything, I follow ships based on two things:

How much comedic potential it has.

How tragic it can be.

Point 1:

Imagine Sengoku's reaction. Your annoying (begrudgingly friend) co-worker's son, who is the most wanted person in the world for being a revolutionary, gets together with your adopted son. They have a child that causes SO much trouble for you. AND your now in-laws with said annoying (begrudgingly friend) co-worker and co-worker's most wanted (not in a good way) son.

Also, the Straw Hats reaction to Garp being Luffy's grandpa? What if his other grandpa was the Fleet Admiral of the Marines?

Law not being able to escape the alliance because Luffy is his kind of brother.

Corazon survives being shot because they don't go the marines, they go to the revolutionaries instead? Dragon himself picks them up? Or Corazon still gets shot and then the revolutionaries pick him up? Or he still dies and it's just Law that gets found? Ace, Sabo, Luffy, and Law (possibly Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin as well) all growing up together perhaps?

When the Straw Hats meet Law and the Heart Pirates, Luffy is like: "That's my other brother! :D" Meanwhile the Straw Hats are freaking out.

Doflamingo getting kicked around by Luffy and losing everything made even funnier due to him being his nephew.

Also, Luffy not only being a D but also partially Celestial Dragon.

Point 2:

Doomed relationship from the start/star-crossed lovers.

Dragon is the one who is pregnant and Corazon dies not knowing about Luffy. Aka kind of like the fanfic I read that started this whole train of thought. It's called "I can't be with you (I want to be with you)" by Torens on AO3.

Or they were planning on raising Luffy together, but then Corazon died and so then Dragon left him with Garp. Maybe due to:

Grief

Feeling like he can't protect Luffy (canon).

Luffy has so much of Corazon in him that it hurts to look at him like it hurts to look at the sun for too long. (Aka play into the grief factor real hard.)

Luffy reminds Law of Corazon not just because he acts kind of like him but also due to having the same smile/looking like him.

I know Luffy probably wouldn't care, but imagine Law telling Luffy of his other dad that he never got to meet.

-

If anyone wants to take these ideas and write/expand go right ahead. I can't write and there's only three fanfics on AO3.

Also, I can't decide on what to label Corazon x Dragon. If you have another idea, put it in the tags and I can run another poll or something.

[mar-thewriter]

confused connections

dick grayson x f reader

you wake up with your period without dick there and give him a quick call to ask where the painkillers are.

dick finishes a team meeting and hears his girlfriend in pain and panics.

authors note: ok so i truthfully hate the miscommunication trope. but i dont hate it when its used comedically. and this was a funny idea i had on my period. so. have fun. word count: 2.1k tw: blood (put on shoes if ur cleaning up glass), period talk

There were two things that were the worst to wake up to. 1: your cramps hitting you like a truck, and 2: your lovely boyfriend not being here to hold. Both issues amplified one another as you woke up with a groan. Fuck’s sake, this one was rough.

You barely were able to make it to the bathroom when you decided it was going to be a sleep-in-and-bed-rest day. Especially without Dick there to help bring you water or painkillers (or when he rubs that crease in your back with his thumbs in little circles), you wanted to save your energy, so you’d still be able to help yourself without just collapsing.

You knew Dick would be gone today, of course. You’d had a whole conversation about what the Bats are planning and how they’d be spending the next two days strategizing on best moves. It’s not something they necessarily had to be in person for, but it was clear that Bruce made an attempt to keep these meetings in person, both for safety, and for time with his kids. You didn’t want to interfere. Especially with you and Dick finding a place for you two to live together in Blüdhaven, you wanted to let him spend time with his family. He wouldn’t be able to use the excuse of being in Gotham to see you to also see his brothers, so you wanted to respect his space as much as possible.

You made yourself a quick tea, got a cereal bar for some simple breakfast, and a glass of water. You tried to find the painkillers but with the frequency that Dick leaves the bottles scattered around the apartment, you had no clue where he put them last. You could live without it, you were sure. It’d be fine. You’d turn on some old crime show and be out like a light in no time.

It took thirty minutes before it became unbearable. You were half asleep, so close to finally just passing out, when a new wave of cramps hit you like a train. As much as you didn’t want to disturb Dick, you knew that it was either that, searching the whole place while you can barely move, or leaving to buy a new bottle entirely. A quick call couldn’t hurt, you were sure.

You dialed him quickly, setting your phone on speaker on the nightstand. You didn’t bother turning down the TV or even sitting up, face smushed into the side of the pillow. It didn’t take him long to answer.

“Hey, babe. What’s up?” You could hear the smile in his voice, and that alone eased you slightly.

But only for a second. You groaned softly, trying to be a bit quieter as you spoke, “Hi, hun, listen, do you- do you remember where you put the painkillers?”

“The painkillers? Top shelf of the pantry, little basket next to the spare trash bags. Is everything alright?” You could hear the weariness in his voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine, love, just-“ you were cut off by another soft groan, the loud yelling from the TV drowning out most of the noise. You reached by your phone to grab the remote, reaching around blindly when-

A loud crash took you by shock. You let out a slight gasp, sitting up finally to see your glass of water on the ground, the cup shattered into pieces. Next to it, lay your phone as well. You cursed, reaching a hand out and letting out a slight whine from the stretch as you grabbed your phone.

“Shit. Dick, I’ll have to call you back- I love you,” you hung up, placing your phone back on the nightstand with a groan. This day couldn’t get any worse, could it?

You made your way carefully off the bed, tiptoeing around the bigger chunks of glass you could see. Making it to the kitchen, you grabbed the painkillers and quickly took two, grabbing the broom and a new cup of water (in a plastic cup this time) to set on the nightstand. You made quick work of the glass, sweeping it into the dustpan.

Once you’d walked back to put the broom in the kitchen, you were quickly made aware that you were not as careful stepping around the glass as you’d thought, hissing in pain as you walked back to your room. Thankfully, with your first aid kit and a pair of sterilized tweezers, getting glass out wasn’t the hardest issue to solve. You’d had more than your fair share of pulling glass shards out of Dick that you consider yourself something of an expert.

By the time you’d wrapped your foot, you could feel the painkillers finally start kicking in. You shut your bedroom door, closed all the blinds, and made the room as dark as possible before finally lowering the TV volume. You crawled into bed once more, and it was only a few minutes before you found yourself drifting asleep.

—

“Hey, babe. What’s up?” Dick smiled as he answered your call. He’d only been away from you for a few hours, but god he was already missing you.

The team-strategizing meeting took a lot less time than they’d imagined. Babs and Tim had figured out nearly every detail before the rest of them had even arrived. The mission wasn’t set to start until next week, during which they’d monitor all criminal activity and freight shipping to make sure their information was actually accurate. Since things had gone by so fast, Dick was already planning to surprise you tomorrow morning by showing up early and bringing you a whole batch of Alfred’s cookies. Hearing your voice was just another reminder of getting to see you.

That elation didn’t last long.

“Hi, hun, listen, do you- do you remember where you put the painkillers?”

He could hear the pain in your voice, and he felt panic rising in him quickly. You sounded slightly muffled, and he could hear a slight talking in the background.

“The painkillers? Top shelf of the pantry, little basket next to the spare trash bags. Is everything alright?” You would tell him if something was wrong. He knew you would. But his mind kept running through scenarios. What if there was an intruder holding you at gunpoint? Were you talking in code? Were you even at home? Did you get-

“Yeah, I’m fine, love, just-“ you were cut off by the sound of people yelling, and he heard you groan in pain again. There was more shuffling and commotion before his heart dropped.

A shatter. You gasping. And a thud.

Fuck.

“Shit. Dick, I’ll have to call you back- I love you,” he was about to plead for you to stay on call before you abruptly hung up. He immediately rushed to the Batcave, nearly walking right into Jason on the way.

“Woah, Birdboy, what’s got you in such a rush?”

“It’s my girlfriend. She’s in trouble and she’s hurt. I have to go, now.”

He worked on getting suited up while Jason spoke, “What are we talking here? How bad is she hurt?”

Dick sighed, “I’m not sure. She was asking about painkillers and then some glass shattered and there were people yelling and she hung up.”

Jason nodded, “Alright, I’m coming with you.”

That made Dick pause for a moment. “You’re what?”

“You said people yelling, and she’s already injured. You need the help. I’ll focus on the people; you just get to your girl.”

Dick nodded, pulling his mask on. “I- yeah, fine. Okay. Not the great first meeting I imagined, but- yes.”

Jason pulled his helmet on, “Don’t worry about the semantics. ‘Bout time we met this girl of yours anyway.”

They went to leave, but they were quickly stopped. By Damian. Already suited up. “I overheard you and Todd speaking. I’ll be coming with as well.”

“Fine, let’s just get going. We don’t have time for this.”

All Dick cared about was getting you to safety as fast as possible. And he’d ensure it.

Things were quiet when they made it to your apartment.

“There’s no sign of forced entry. All the blinds are down. Is there any chance she would have let someone into the apartment?” Damian spoke softly.

“It’s unlikely, but they could’ve pushed their way in if she opened the door. Alright, I’ll give the countdown, it seems quiet now, so we’re-“

“There’s no one in the living room. I’m not getting any heat signatures.” Oracle’s voice came through his comm loud and clear.

“I- You too?” Dick sighed, “Thank you, Oracle.” He fished his keys out of his pocket, unlocking the door quietly.

“Honestly, Wing, you have a key to her place, and you still haven’t let us meet her? That’s just cold, man.” Jason shook his head slightly.

“Not the time, baby bat.” Dick huffed, unlocking the door and walking in slowly. He took a moment to survey the apartment. Nothing looked out of place. The kitchen was a bit disheveled, but nothing completely out of place. Everything looked fairly normal.

“Nightwing. There.” Damian pointed, a splotch of red on the floor.

Dick held his breath, eyes following a trail of bloody footprints across the floor, right to the bedroom. There was no time to think. He rushed forward, bursting the door open, Damian and Jason hot on his feet, all three with weapons at the ready.

He heard a loud scream - your scream - and he whipped his head to the sound. Only to see… you. In bed. Perfectly fine.

“D- Nightwing? What the fuck is going on?”

Jason and Damian both relaxed, slumping in response to the lack of present danger.

“I- your call. There’s- the blood, the shatter on the phone, I-?” Dick was… incredibly confused.

“What? Oh, baby, no. I-“ you paused, looking at the two boys behind him.

Dick turned, giving them a slight awkward nod, “Uh, just… give us a second, guys. You too, Oracle.” He heard his comm click off, and Damian and Jason stepped out, shutting the door behind them.

He walked over, taking a good look at you. He gently gripped your arms as you continued speaking.

“I woke up with cramps. That’s why I needed the painkillers. And the shattering was my cup of water I knocked off the nightstand while trying to turn down the TV. I cut my foot on a piece when cleaning it, I didn’t realize I was tracking blood all over, I guess. I’m sorry to scare you.”

“Oh, babe, no, don’t apologize,” he sighed, sitting on the bed to hug you tightly. His hand lightly carded through your hair, kissing the top of your forehead. “I’m sorry I freaked out. I just- I heard the shatter, and you sounded like you were in pain, so…” He sighed, tension leaking from his body.

“It’s alright, love. I should have clarified over the phone.” You chuckled softly, pulling away to give him a warm, loving kiss. “Though maybe I should scare you more often. That was pretty sexy of you.”

“Oh?” He chuckled, lightly cupping your chin, “Was it now?”

“It was,” you hummed, voice getting low, “All hyped up on adrenaline, in that tight little suit. Maybe next date night, I’ll fake a kidnapping.”

“Oh, god. As sexy as I may look, please don’t. I think I might actually destroy half the city by accident.” He laughed, and even just his laugh brought a grin to your face, your laughter joining his.

He smiled at you like you hung each star in the sky just for him. You smiled at him like he made them shine just for you.

“So,” he spoke softly, “I know it’s your time of the month, which I will be staying tonight and ordering your favorite from the shop on the corner. Now, I know you might not be up to socializing too much, but… want to meet two of my brothers?”

You hummed, brushing some hair from his eyes, “The painkillers are doing their job very well, so I’d be happy to. It’s… Jason and Damian, right?”

He nodded. “It is. Sweet of you to remember.”

“Mm, not hard to remember when one of them was a murderous five-year-old and the other literally came back from the dead.”

He laughed, “Yeah, fair. Just be lucky, you got the normal one.”

You chuckled, standing, and holding his hands tightly, “Normal one. Says the boy in blue spandex.”

He laughed, pulling you to him for a kiss, “You love this boy in blue spandex.”

You sighed wistfully, placing a hand on his cheek, “I sure do.”

[justchillandshipit]

I have so much I want to post about, but I don't want to overload my own dashboard. I'm going to try and fit all of this into one post. I'm tagging this post as potential spoilers, but really these are part of fan theories. I'm throwing spoilers in there because if by some crazy thing, any of it happens to be right, I don't want to ruin it for others. However, a theory is just a theory, so let's suspend disbelief and dig into this one.

Most of you probably have heard or read some of these fan theories. One is that episode one or two is some sort of coma-induced alternate reality. There is a photo floating around somewhere that has the fire engine labeled 119 instead of 118. There is the mustache. etc. Someone pointed out, in the photo above, that the man on the magazine cover is Ryan Guzman but manipulated in some way. I would like to take it a step further. I looked at all the headlines and noticed that the one that likely matches with the manipulated photo says, "From a bedroom to an Empire." Is this a reference to a former porn star now running some sort of empire? (Bahahaha. if the manipulated photo is Ryan G. what a great play on the pornstache he is sporting.) I love it.

Anyway, if Eddie was stung by a bee and had a coma-induced alternate-reality dream, I love that he has reimagined himself in this way. It's a great nod. Another fan theory is that Eddie dreams he chose Chicago over LA. (but since it is not real, Buck, Chim, Hen, and the gang would all still be there, but they all live in Chicago instead.) I like the Chicago idea because it would allow them to do that crossover with Abbot Elementary (which is one of the shows that a cast member said they would love to do a crossover with.) It is a comedy show so it would lend itself to a comedic alternate reality episode.

The possibilities and directions they could take in this type of episode are broad, but I'm hoping for either an Eddie realization moment or for a planting of the seed in his head moment. (If I were writing it, I would do it like this.) In this reality, Buck and Eddie are already 'Buddie,' so after a day of work or whatever Buck could possibly drive Eddie home, but then not leave. Eddie isn't too concerned because Buck has practically wrapped himself around Eddie's neck since everything went down with Chris. However, later when Eddie is lying quietly in bed the covers shift and Buck gets in bed with him. Eddie jumps and flounders around for the light, and Buck just says, "Sorry. I was trying not to wake you." He finishes crawling under the covers and cuddles close to Eddie. Eddie is shocked and frozen to the spot. Buck doesn't notice. He just says, "Hit the light Papi... unless... you're not feeling tired." And gives Eddie that look that says, "Are you ready for it." AND it brings

THIS energy.

[Small break to apologize for the Papi line. I do not like the whole Daddy thing. I don't kink shame, but the Daddy thing is not for me. That said. Papi just HITS differently. I can't explain it forgive me.]

Also, here is a photo of Buck in the alternate reality. (Again, if I were writing it, I would let the tattoos stay. I would also let him speak with his real accent.) Bonus, if I were writing it, at the end of the episode when Eddie is back to himself, he may not admit to Buddie right away, but he would ask Buck to speak with an accent. Buck thinks it's a weird request, but he does it. However, he does it with the worst possible British accent you can imagine. Like Gandalf chewing marbles. Eddie stops him and tells him to never do it again, so we are back to Buck's American accent. lol

Oh, and here is that "if you aren't tired expression" I was referring to earlier when he asked if Papi was tired or not.

This post is so long, and I haven't even touched on the theory of Eddie having a hurt arm or hand... A few weeks ago, Ryan G. said something about, "when you have to fight one-handed." So he hurt his hand and is still so mad, that he's trying to fight with just one... Lawd, help me.

While I still maintain that I do not hate that Tommy guy, I am so down with a jealous Eddie fighting him because he thinks that Tommy has somehow hurt Buck. Equally okay, with Eddie punching Gerard and hurting his hand.

Edit and reblog because I have one more thing to add. If I were writing it, and if this is actually one of Oliver S.'s tattoos. I would 100% make sure this tattoo got screen time, and regardless of the real meaning of the tattoo. For an alternate reality Buck, THIS WAS his aha moment.

[mismatchedtwins]

Mismatched Twins AU - Take Three

The silence stretches; his words sink in.

Leo laughs in the face of the uncertainty and confusion, breaking the eye contact to focus on the wound. Adrenaline wakes him up, unleashing a dizzying heat that burns the slimy coating of uncertainty. “You- You are so right. So right. I do not believe you.”

The arm shifts as the turtle shrugs. “After the first few counterparts, you learn to just accept it.”

Leo isn’t going to touch that. “So do I get a real name, or-?”

“That is my real name.”

“No, really, I get it. Haha-! You know way too much about me and my family! The ones on the other side of that locked portal I can’t open, hilarious!” Leo hisses with a mock smile, flashing gritted teeth and trying not to give into the baited frustration.

There’s no way that this guy is pulling this while he’s an entire prison dimension away from the twin that he’s never going to help take over to the world, or the big brother he can’t properly apologize to, or his feisty baby brother that he’s never going to see grow up.

It’s twisted and demented on so many levels.

He shakes his head, swallowing the pain. “Comedic gold or whatever, but there’s no way in this or any other hell that I’m calling you that, so I’d prefer your real name.”

The turtle’s fingers drum against his thigh as Leo waits, determined to get up and leave- aching back or not- if this guy tries to press the inconsiderate and cruel narrative.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Then stop being suck a jerk.” Leo accuses heatedly. His companion shrinks guiltily. The lack of denial otherwise boosts his confidence. “How are you even here?”

“I don’t- know where here is?” The turtle scuffs the ground with his heel. “I didn’t really come by choice.”

It suddenly dawns on Leo that he’s locked himself in a prison for the worst of the worst. He could very easily be assisting another ancient interplanetary mass murderer. But…

As much as the anger swirling in his gut wants to believe that, he can still picture the determination in his eyes as he drew the most deadly creature alive away from Leo’s position. There was no reason for him to save his life or return his sword for him to escape, especially when he had to know that he couldn’t beat him. Krang would have killed him if Leo hadn’t intervened. It was insane.

And he’s the reason that Leo’s not dead.

So, benefit of the doubt, for now.

“It’s some old dimension prison. Made for ugly mc violent back there.” Leo watches his face for any sign of recognition. “Impossible to get into. And out of.”

He chuckles, humorless. “Not for Aeons, I guess.”

“Is… That what you are?” Leo tries, cautiously. “An Eon?”

“Aeon.” The turtle corrects with the dry sound of someone who does it on a daily basis. “And no, I’m not. It’s an alien species. One in my city, hurting my family. It already hurt Splinter.” He pauses, quieting. “She wants to wipe out everything, and she’s using someone I care about to do it.”

Well, that makes two of them, only Leo solved that problem. “So… What are you doing here? Am I going to have to worry about an Eon problem here to-?”

Like he doesn’t have enough to deal with already.

“Aeon. And, I doubt it. She must’ve sent me here because I was getting through.” The turtle finally looks up. Any confidence is gone, leaving a meek uncertainty that makes it really hard for Leo to keep being mad at him. “They’re still in danger. My brothers. Everyone. I know it. I have to get home.”

The story is incredibly far-fetched. And way to similar to his own to not be some forged copy. Not a villain, but possibly a pathological liar.

“So remember that whole, no getting in or out, thing?” Leo asks. “Still true. Place is sealed tight. Nothing’s getting out of here.”

“I am.” He announces, like nothing could be more simple. The sun rises, pizza’s delicious, and this turtle is going to break out of the dimension that the strongest, scariest, most feared alien species in all the universe couldn’t break out of. “I have to.”

“It’s not possible.” He expresses. “It’s actually pretty impossible.”

“Just because no one has done it before doesn’t mean that it can’t be done.” The causal air has Leo shaking his head.

What is his luck lately?

He’s stuck in a dimensional prison with a turtle who has a terrible sense of humor, a suspicious amount of information, and no idea what kind of horror that he’s gotten himself into.

Can’t anything be easy? Doesn’t he deserve that much?

The turtle, who still can’t even look at his injury for more than two seconds, tries to claim. “I’m pretty much a pro at cracking the impossible by now.”

“Some things aren’t supposed to be cracked.” Leo unwraps his own wrist wraps as the turtle watches with a frown, struggling a bit to copy the trick with his sword. “And unless you know anything about ancient mystics, I doubt we’re breaking out anytime soon.”

“Interesting.” He mutters. “Is that what you did? With the blue light and the gateway? Magic?”

“Mystics.” Leo corrects, bringing the arm back within reach. “Geez, don’t you listen? It’s not the hard.”

The turtle opens and shuts his mouth, dumbfound by Leon’s obvious superiority. Sounds like someone needs to do better research. And he tried to call himself a Donatello. Please.

“But the Kraang don’t use… mystics.” The turtle continues. Leo’s heart skips a beat, brain catching up with the accent on the name. “They harness technology. Like the big guy’s suit.”

“Maybe they don’t use mystics, but they sure know how to take it.” Leo snaps as he begins wrapping the wound. “Stupid Krang and his stupid screams- eugh, that’s totally what he’s going to go for next. How did I not know that? That’s just what I need, to lose-”

“OW!” The turtle tears his arm back, clutching it to his chest. He quickly unwraps some of Leo’s admittedly tight work, leaving Leo’s hand blankly extended as he cradles it and pouts, “You always this aggressive with your patients?”

“No.” Leo states, dryly. “Just you.”

“Special treatment.” The turtle mutters. “Goody.”

He gets up on shaky legs, without letting Leo finish, and puts a few steps between them. He gets about one loop around his arm before his attention is drawn away. To what, who knows, but now he’s staring out into the blacks and grays of what’s probably the sky? like it’s the most interesting thing that he’s ever seen.

Blood loss is getting this guy good.

“Heeey, buddy.” Leo snaps a few times and the turtle blinks dazedly.

He looks over and Leo coaxes, “You might want to come sit down.”

“But it’s debris.” The turtle announces, voice high with the eager tint of discovery. Leo blocks out the image of his twin’s sleepy grin as he literally drags him out of bed at three in the morning. “Floating debris!”

“That’s great and all, but you’re not looking too good.’’

The turtle holds up a finger and then picks up a rock from the ground. He throws it into the distance and then ducks down with his hands over his head like a totally sane person. When nothing happens, he opens one eyes, then the other, and then stands with a disappointed sort of, “Oh.”

“How sad,” Leo pacifies carelessly. “Second’s up. C’mere.”

“Everything else is dead. Can physics die?” The turtle asks and then plows through before he gets an answer, “No, no, NO, it’s another dimension with its own properties with its own massive, freaky Kraang and I just need to figure it out. JUST like dimension X. But not.” He looks to the closest edge. “Bad idea to walk off the side?”

“Horrible idea.” Leo’s a frustrating mixture of baffled and amused. Despite every urge to stay grumpy, he can’t help the humor that stirs in his chest. “No, wait, mind chaaange. Go for it. Totally a good idea. Best idea, in fact. Couldn’t be better.”

“Hmm.” The turtle looks at him with these big, debating eyes and then takes a few steps forward and a laugh punches out of Leo ‘cause holy guacamole, he actually just convinced this guy to walk off a cliff. “Wai-wai-wai-wait! Guy! No!”

He’s snickering when the turtle turns back with the most puzzled look, like he has no idea why Leo’s preventing him from launching himself into the black nothingness of the void. “Kidding! Guy, do not do that.”

“I was going to get a head start,” The turtle grumbles as if that should make all the difference. Leo sits up when he doesn’t stop his trek, morbidly curious to see if he’s about to throw himself off the edge. Unfortunately, hot lightning bites down his spine and blurs his vision. He winces, letting his head fall back with a heavy exhale.

He lets his eyes shut, opening them when the pain fades. His heart skips a beat, eyes widening when he realizes that the turtle has disappeared. Eugh boy.

“…Guy?” He reluctantly forces himself to his feet, slow, this time. He grabs his blade and ignores every inch of him that bites and burns. “You better not have gone splat because that’s the last thing that I want to see today.” Leo reaches the edge, slinging his odachi and falling heavily to his knees before peeking over. “I’ve got enough nightmare fuel to last a-AAGGH.”

He shrieks as something grabs his arm and drags him over the side.

He expects to go flying, but his feet somehow manage to find purchase and now he’s simply standing and screaming. His scream slowly tampers off as the turtle stares at him with an eye ridge raised in judgement. Leo wheezes in air, confused, “Wha-?”

“I was thinking.” The turtle muses, cupping his chin and stepping away. “If he’s equipped with a suit, then that stands to reason that they use technology. So there has to be some variation of ship around here somewhere. Or a Kraang base.”

Leo stares at him. He stares back expectantly.

“I think all that’s in here is death and rocks.” Leo rubs his chest with a light wince. Man, he hates standing. And breathing.

But since air is entering his lungs anyway… “Also are we upside down right now? Is this not blowing your mind? Because I feel like you’re not acknowledging how mind blowing this is.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” The turtle admits, ignoring Leo’s mock whisper of “what is your life?” as he adds, “I bet I can find a portal out of here if I just-”

“Guy, you are clearly not paying attention.” Leo folds his hands and points his fingers tips at the stranger. “This is a million-year-old Krang prison. We are prisoners. The only way out is a key that my brothers have, and they’re destroying it and never, ever, ever, ever, eeeeveeerrr-” He draws the word out nice and long to ignore the fear dawning in brown eyes, “-opening this place up ‘cause otherwise Mr. Nightmare Incarnate back there is going to destroy everything.”

As much as the blantant horror has the writhing guilt making him want to throw himself off the edge for utterly ruining someone else’s day, he’s relieved that he’s finally getting through to him.

“You- you mean…” Something changes as he scans Leo’s face, overcome by disbelief. “They just… Left you here?”

And, hey, when it’s said out loud it does sound awful enough that a new physical ache thuds in tune with his heartbeat.

“No way.” He scoffs, smile wide. “I dragged big and mean in here. It’s their job to keep him from getting out.”

The turtle frowns, and Leo recognizes the emotion for what it is: pity.

“But what about you?”

“It’s not about me.” His hand hovers over the belt where his picture sits tucked safely away. “It’s about the world. The universe! Some things are just a lil’ bigger than me.” He chuckles, weak, and keeps a steady watch on the nothing behind the turtle. “They know that.”

The turtle sighs, “There are those days…”

Leo gives him a curious look and his eyes harden, “Which is exactly why I have to get back.”

The turtle looks up and Leo lets his body sag dramatically in disbelief. Which, yeah, it hurt, but what was this guy’s problem? “Guy, you are a really bad listener! Seriously bad! The worst! We’re-”

“TRAPPED! YES!” He whirls. “MY EARS WORK VERY WELL!”

The shift between level-headed and hysterically shrill has Leo both disturbed, impressed, and slightly fearful for his life.

The turtle runs a hand down his face and then kicks at the ground with a vengeful force. Before Leo can decide if he should poke the bear- er, turtle, he’s rambling, “I understand perfectly. I mean, it makes perfect sense! Why shouldn’t the impossibility powerful immortal alien know about a dimensional prison and how to send me to it? Why wouldn’t I get STUCK in here with a creep who likes beating turtles and a turtle who wants to be beaten?”

Leo raises a hand but doesn’t wait to be called on, “I wouldn’t say I-”

“Then WHY are you so against me finding a WAY OUT?!”

Leo’s mouth opens but no words leave. He swallows thickly, blood mingled with spit, and the turtle scowls, “I HAVE to get home. Maybe YOU don’t, but MY brothers need… Me.”

His eyes fall to the ground, energy gone. “They need me, and they all think I’m…”

The turtle doesn’t finish, something raw and dense fogging the air, and then he’s looking back at Leo. Firm. Determined.

“I have to get home.” He decides as Leo tries to recover from the empathic whiplash that he’s being subjected to. “Without me, they probably would do something stupid like locking themselves in a prison dimension with no known back door.”

“Stupid-!” Leo finally finds his voice, only to wince at the sudden wave of too much air in crushed lungs. The turtle pulls out his grapple. “If I have to create a back door, then so be it. I can’t sit around and wait for that giant Krang to hunt me down and finish me off. Not when they need me.”

He looks at Leo, “You seem to know way more about this place than I do. We’d stand a better chance together. If you can get me to my dimension, then I believe I can take you home. If there’s no way out, so be it. I’d rather die trying than lazy.”

“It’s not lazy. It’s rational.” Leo shakes a hand at his side. “You don’t know what I know. If Krang finds you…”

“So I won’t let him.” The turtle bites before he groans, “Look, I won’t stand in your way if you want to sit and wait, but I have places to be. So are you coming or not?

Leo knows the right answer. He’s aching and bruised and cracked in more ways than one. He wasn’t stupid when he dragged Krang in here and he’s not going to be stupid and merely trust that this turtle who knows nothing about mystics is actually going to make it anywhere but back under Krang’s brutal fist.

On the same token- he’s about to leave. He’s about to leave Leo alone to suffer in the expanding dark and echoing silence surrounded by obliteration and death just so Leo can live a few extra hours of misery before Krang inevitably finds him and finishes him off.

He’s probably the only reason that Leo even survived this long…

But. Um. Maybe… Maybe going is what Master Leonardo would do. He’d give this guy a helping hand. Right? The guy’s weird, and probably a stalker, but he’s clearly desperate. It’d be, heroic, of Leo.

It wouldn’t be Leo being selfish. That would him staying.

He’s be being… Selfless. This way. So.

“A’right, guy.” Leo announces as he strolls forward, pretending not to notice him stiffen as he grabs his elbow and points to the loose bandage. “I’ll give you my invaluable company, but only if you stop refusing Dr. Leon M.D.’s treatment. Can’t be your wing man if you’re walking around clipping your own wings.”

“…Deal.” The turtle agrees after a blank stare at his arm, like the fact that green scales were painted scarlet had never crossed his mind.

Leo peels the bandage off. “Great. So sit down.”

The turtle looks at his grapple. “But-”

“Ah-ah-ah!” He tsks. “Sit.”

“Do I really have t-”

Leo shoves the turtle, who yelps as he hits the ground. He points downward like a disapproving master over a naughty dog. “Sit.”

The turtle grimaces, “Fine.”

He grins. “Good boy.”

Previous Current Next

[rootsofdread]

Thinking of Ace, Ash, Chris, Wesker and Anna with a s/o survivor with the HEAVIEST plot armor possible, as if they're from looney tunes. They are just so lucky trials get straight up comedic instead of scary — killers trip over their legs somehow, bang their heads on the trees, miss the easiest shots possible etc etc, and reader is just standing over there like "😄"

Mayhaps they could just go around helping people, since there's barely anything to do apart from that !!

🦞 eatwell

Ace Visconti:

Ace seems to love having another person around that has the same amount of dumb, “unlucky” luck that he has, too. Finally, someone who can relate to falling face-first in a patch of bushes after jumping out of a window, which really hurts, but will get the killer off of you. Though, your kind of luck usually ends with stuff like that happening to someone else instead of yourself…but he has seen you take a few tumbles down the basement stairs, and is always amazed when you’re perfectly fine afterwards. He somehow tends to be on the receiving end of your luck, he’s been tripped over and run over by the killer quite a few times while they’ve been carrying you, making them immediately drop you. But even with luck like this, he loves spending trials with you, because you make every single one fun.

Ashley J. Williams:

Honestly, Ash loves having someone like you around in the fog. Even though anyone around you tends to get hurt for your benefit, he finds it funny to watch from afar. It’s like watching a cartoon play out in real life. A safe distance, where he’s safe from being tripped over or tackled by the killer when they’re supposed to be looking for you, because he already has pretty shit luck and bringing you into the equation never makes it any better. But he is also known for poor life choices, so he does end up making the mistake of hanging a little too close to you when he probably shouldn’t. He’s been hit by missed swings that were meant for you many more times than he’d ever care to admit. But he will admit, seeing the killer run into a tree branch while chasing you down makes up for it.

Chris Redfield:

If you know Chris, you know he’s a very no-nonsense sort of guy. He doesn’t necessarily approve of the antics that seem to follow you around, but he also knows there doesn’t seem to be much that you can do about it. Most of the time, he sits back and watches you from afar to make sure you don’t get hurt or get into trouble due to…whatever it is that you seem to have. The joke is on him whenever he believes he has to jump in and save you though, because most of the time it ends with him getting tackled into the dirt by the killer when they meant to jump on you. You can probably imagine the look on his face when he gets hauled away by the killer and you’re springing away without a scratch.

Anna / The Huntress:

To put it simply, Anna gets incredibly frustrated by how well you avoid everything she throws at you. Literally. Every time she tries to throw a hatchet at you, you lean down to pick a flower and it flies off, or someone calls your name so you move and she hits a tree instead, or you just so happen to trip over a tree root at just the right time so that she hits whoever you were traveling with instead of you. She doesn’t know how you do it. How you always seem to know whenever she’s aiming to hit you. She usually resolves to just leave you alone most of the time, but she knows at some point she has to try to hit you. At least you give her good target practice…

Albert Wesker / The Mastermind:

Wesker has to admit, he’d much rather study you than try to catch you. Trying to catch you usually doesn’t end well for him or anyone in the immediate vicinity. He can’t complain when someone else falls in his path at just the right moment as you move out of the way, but you are who he’s aiming for. He decides he just needs to plan around your shenanigans, which may seem impossible to others, with how unpredictable trials can go with you thrown into the mix, but he’s a scientist. His entire life has been carved from the unpredictable, and he’ll get to the bottom of what makes you you, even if he has to endure smacking into a few trees and falling out of windows to make that happen.

[frasier-crane-style]

Very early on in this movie, hero Christian Grey gives da chick the standard romantic leading man speech about how he's bad news--a loner, Dottie, a rebel--and she should still clear of him. At this point, they've gone out to get coffee one time and he's saved her from a careening bike messenger. I know it must be exciting to tell a lady that she should stay away from your twisted mind for her own feminine good, but dude, save it for at least the second date.

This came to Netflix, so I figured I might as well give a shot. It's a failure, obviously, but it's an interesting failure. There are talented people both on screen and behind the scenes, and it looks like a movie, but all their efforts amount to putting lipstick on a pig. Would it be unfairly inside-baseball to repeat the reports of a troubled production, with the author insisting on an adaptation that was too faithful for its own good?

Try not to do a shot every time heroine Anastasia Steele* extravagantly bites her lower lip in lust.

(how come Dakota Johnson's character name in this is way more silly than the name of the literal superhero she played?)

To be fair to the movie, I've seen a ton of waggish assholes like, well, me, declare that this movie is a camp classic of unintended hilarity and guys, c'mon. There's no way they didn't intend "What are buttplugs?" as a laughline.

In fact, with Dakota Johnson's sitcom star comedic timing and winsome charm, watching this movie is a bit like finding a coke-begotten relic of the 80s where some madman paired Meg Ryan and Rutger Hauer (it doesn't help that, as "Mr. Grey," they cast an actor that plays serial killers about as often as heartthrobs).

I'm making this story sound interesting, but it's not able to succeed on its own terms, as whenever it tries to get serious, the drama runs headlong into a howler of a line that must be verboten from the books. "I'm fifty shades of fucked up!" Christian groans at one point.

"I don't make love. I fuck. Hard," is another line that even Sir Michael Caine couldn't get into working order.

It's a shame, because there's no real reason a modern-day gothic romance can't work. Sure, there's no real plot to the thing besides Ana and Christian's doomed/not-so-doomed romance, but there are worse foundations for a movie than a relationship where the guy wants to hurt his lady love as much as romance her. It's fucked up, but imagine what a Cronenberg or Verhoeven could do with the assignment. Well, full frontal, probably.

(The compromise to keep Jamie Dornan from spending a third of the movie displaying the status of his circumcision is that he does most every sex scene in a worn pair of jeans. I probably should've been too stunned by his abs to wonder at this, but dude's a billionaire. Is he doing yardwork in those jeans? Home repair? Or have they gotten all the holes in them purely from screwing? Man, that guy does fuck. Hard.)

You know, given that bondage is a pretty common fetish, you'd think Christian Grey--an ubersexy twenty-something billionaire--would be able to find a woman who's into, y'know, all that--especially since his wildest antics are a little whipping and possible anal fisting.

I know there'd be no story if he didn't immediately fall in love with Anastasia Steele (snicker) and if she wasn't only putting up with the bondage to get the package deal. Still, that is a pretty contrived starting point, isn't it? At least Team Edward has the excuse of that whole 'my own personal brand of heroin' thing.

[yanderes-galore]

Cuphead vs Mugman romantic rivalry thingy concept please? Thx!

Sure! Aged up as usual. Sorry you had to wait for months :( I did what I could as I honestly saw them more as platonic than romantic.

Yandere! Cuphead vs Mugman

Pairing: Romantic - Rivalry/Implied sharing

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Clingy behavior, Jealousy, Petty sibling rivalry, This is light-hearted compared to what I usually do, Dubious relationship.

Cuphead would be Clingy, Manipulative, Easily jealous, Obsessive, Protective, and Impulsive with his darling.

Mugman is Obsessive, Anxious/Paranoid, Caring, Manipulative, Shy, Clingy and Moral.

The two are brothers with their differences and I feel between them any rivalry they have comes off as childish.

Ever since they were young they'd fight over the smallest things, why?

They're brothers!

I feel them being yanderes over a darling could go in two ways.

If only one of them likes you, the other no doubt tries everything they can to help them with their obsession!

After all, brothers help each other out.

But when it comes to liking the same darling...

They get childishly petty and fight amongst each other.

They're both Clingy, Manipulative, and Obsessive yanderes.

This means they're both yanderes who like to be in the spotlight.

As a result, their fight for attention would be to one up each other as much as possible.

They aren't helping one another anymore.

Now anything they do is to sabotage the other and make you like one of them more.

Which, ironically, only drives you away from both.

I don't think they'd intentionally hurt each other even if they wanted.

They've grown up alongside each other...

They aren't entirely on the idea of hurting each other despite the idea coming up many times.

Cuphead would certainly come off as harsher on Mugman during a rivalry.

Meanwhile Mugman is uncharacteristically bitter during the rivalry.

This feeling of jealousy tears the pair apart... and that scares you.

You are friends with them and are used to small quarrels between the two.

Yet why are they so mean to each other now?

You most likely don't know they're fighting over who gets to date you until they start advances.

Think of it like Looney Tunes style stuff going on as the Cuphead universe is a cartoon.

Any harm caused to them is usually comedic in a way.

Any romantic attraction they display is usually very cliché and cartoonish, too.

That doesn't change the fact you're sad they won't get along anymore-

Their rivalry as yanderes would only drive you away as they soon learn.

How their rivalry could go after they realize you're distancing yourself is two ways.

They could continue fighting, eventually getting the other to back off before the winner tries to make up with you.

Or they could make a truce and share you to keep you happy.

Truthfully I can't see their rivalry being overly violent or grotesque like most yanderes.

I can mostly just see the two fighting like siblings and maybe reuniting to make you happy again.

They'd mostly be petty, like sabotaging dates between each other or whispering rumors.

One claims you like one flower and got you some... the other tries to prove them wrong and brings more.

Maybe they try to out plan one another with date ideas?

The most they're going to hurt is feelings in my eyes.

By the end of it I can see them trying to fix things once they realize they're losing you 8n the process, despite their feelings.

Plus, who knows... maybe sharing you will work out?

They'll still be fighting but try to keep it under control... all because they love you and want to see you smile!

[spyderlondon]

The Amazing Pokemon Circus Prologue

The Amazing Pokemon Circus is based on two of my most prominent hyperfixations- Pokemon (specifically Pokemon Mystery Dungeon) and The Amazing Digital Circus. Filled with intrigued, comedic moments and action!

Art by @mangotangerinepastry

--------

Bladed arms met with colorful legs as two pokemon clashed in a destroyed area, both were already plenty injured but neither of which accepted defeat. They shoved off each other, going far in opposite directions as they breathed heavily in their exertion.

"Why must you oppose me, brother?!" The Kartana hissed out as his eyes narrowed in fury, "I have used enough Swords Dances to defeat you in just a few more attacks- just admit defeat!" He readied another Leaf Blade as he watched his brother cautiously.

The Blacephalon stared in exhaustion but refused to let himself faint so easily, "Your way of thinking..." He panted as he floated in the air, trying to prepare himself for his brother's next attack, "...it goes too far. It could hurt the humans... that will come in... We were told... to keep them safe and happy..." He explained while out of breath, he wasn't going to last much longer... But he still had one attack up his sleeve and it was going to hurt.

Blacephalon shook his head before engulfing his body in flames, racing towards the Kartana that was already speeding towards him with his arms turned in sharp leaf blades that were designed to hit as critically as possible and with his attack stat already fully boosted, he was sure if it landed- it would knock him out. He raced around to avoid as much as possible before finally hitting his brother hard with his head and flames which caused the leaf blades to go up in flames but not before they struck him hard on the back.

The clown like pokemon yelled out in pain as he fell hard to the ground, on the verge of defeat, his health nearly depleted. His whole body throbbed in agonizing pain, "Dear Arceus... get me away from him..." He pleaded with the pokemon deity in quiet prayer.

"You have one last chance to give up peacefully." Kartana warned, one of his bladed arms pointed at the colorfully dotted head of his brother, "I have already proven to be far stronger than you and I am not afraid to teach you that multiple times." He drawled in warning.

The older brother would glare if he had eyes before he suddenly grabbed smaller pokemon's arms quickly and yanked him close to his head, "I won't go down without you. Mind Blown." He hissed.

Kartana's eyes suddenly, "Waitwaitwait-!" He tried to get away but it was too late. Blacephalon's head shrank to a tiny size as his brother tried to struggle out of his brother's grip.

KABOOM!

The head suddenly exploded with a loud bang. The environment around the two once fighting brothers became a large crater as pebbles, dirt and everything around was flown all over the place but it wasn't like either of the beasts could see as both of them were blown far, far away in opposite sides. Not seeing how two portals opened up to swallow of the fainted pokemon before closing back up.

Far above the clouds floated a large Pokemon with two long disconnected arms that had holes on either side, the openings on the larger ends seemed to stop glowing once the portals closed up. The floating pokemon, Celesteela, floated downwards until they were barely hovering above the crater with a small Naganadel floating a bit above them. The larger beast looked at the smaller one, "Keep an eye on them." They simply ordered as they created a portal for the poison-dragon type to go through.

[writingwithoutthestars]

Scara/Kuni SFW & NSFW

Finally got around to making a blog just for writing!

CW: lots of cursing, mentions of trauma & violence, Yandere vibes & behavior, I think that's it

SFW

I mean, what hasn’t been said about this asshole? He’s equal parts adorable and aggravating and you just want to bang your head against a wall - Why is he both?! You’ve lost it, you’ve officially lost it, and it’s all his fault.

First of all, he’s smug. The smuggest little shit you’ve ever met. He knows he’s a badass and he’s not holding back any more, not after everything he’s been through. (He will not be betrayed again.) He’s a bit narcissistic, defending himself with equal parts real and false bravado and refusing to take accountability for his transgressions. Don’t be fooled: deep within his heart is a broken boy who’s been spiraling into cynicism and insecurity since his mother dumped him. His life has been a landslide since, never safe or consistent, so he’s compensated for his vulnerability with power, as much power as he can fucking get.

Honestly, it’s gonna be an uphill battle with him for a long time. Even far later into your relationship, there will be some explosive times. He’d never hurt you, ever. He’d spiral into madness if he did. But we all know how sharp his tongue is and if you’re the more sensitive type, you’re gonna need to learn how to thicken your skin and roll with the punches quick. Ultimately, it will be worth it, but it’s gonna take a lot of work to get there. 

Depending on when you meet him, you’ll experience him in three stages: 1) sweet summer child, 2) fuck the world, and 3) utterly unhinged. Your relationship will reflect these stages, too. If you meet him before the fall, he’ll be naive and curious. After the fall, with the Fatui, he’s cold and cunning. After the gnosis falls through, he’s feral and the most likely to become straight up yandere. 

Really, there’s 2 main outcomes for a relationship with him make a simulator: Route 1 is the Healing Journey and Route 2 is The Unhinged Yandere. It’s a lot of pressure, but this progression ultimately depends on you. 

Kuni after The Fall™, aka Scaramouche, is obviously a total jerk, but he’s more open to eventual healing compared to the Wanderer. Again, he’s a menace, loves to push buttons and hold his power over others. He doesn’t trust kindness or love and keeps himself safe from it by pushing it away. He’d never admit it, but he craves closeness, which is why he lashes out like he does. He hates that he wants it because of what it’s done to him, how it’s tortured him and twisted him throughout his long life. He just doesn’t see how he could possibly trust another person ever again. But all is not lost. No one ever is forever. There are choices to be made.

Your relationship with him will develop in stages. At first, you’re just a meatsack to him, another person to keep an eye on while he decides whether or not you’re a threat. He’s provocative, wants to get a rise out of you to see what you’ll do. If you take it in stride, he’s honestly a little floored. He just insulted you, why aren’t you pissed? Will poke and prod literally with a stick lmao and ends up finding you both frustrating and fascinating. This is the sticking point for him (haha): once you affect him, he’s stuck on you, wanting to find your weakness and fumbling in the process. Absolutely engages in banter battles and always wants the last laugh. But when that last laugh is yours, he’s totally the type to get all flustered and frustrated about it. Sticks out his tongue and calls you a dumb name hahaha just laugh and keep walking or he might throw a rock at you. 

Very enemies-to-lovers trope lol probably more so “enemies” on his side because everyone is in his perspective. For you, unless he really grates you the wrong way, it’s more of a comedic slow-burn. He’s just so easy to tease! You’re the only person who can make him flush and spit at the same time, the only one who can get away with messing with him without being threatened with the sharp end of a blade. He hates that he keeps coming back to you for more. Even when he defeats you, he’s never sated. Why? What is it about you that’s got him stuck??

Eventually, he realizes that he actually enjoys being around you and goes into a cold sweat. How could this happen?! No, no, this can’t be real, it’s okay, it’s fine, calm down. There’s no way that’s true. It’s not true. It is true. He’s fucked. But he’s the best at being in denial so there’s that. Takes it out on you and even tries running away. Is secretly terrified of being in the same room as you, especially alone. Yet you keep managing to find him and, for a moment, he always finds himself letting some of his guard down with you. For a blissful moment, nothing else exists but your smile and laughter and how they came from him. And it hits him all at once that you enjoy being around him, too.

No, no, no. This is bad. This is wrong. He’s not meant for - this, whatever this is…What is this? He enjoys being around you and you enjoy being around him, okay, yes. But what does that mean? What does that make you? Are you…friends? No! No, he doesn’t have friends. They’ll only hold him back or break him down even more when they inevitably betray him. Friends make one weak and he. is. not. weak! 

But it continues on, the banter and the laughing and eating together - eating together! He needs to stop this, but he keeps coming back to you. It drives him crazy. Like a bug caught in a web, he struggles to free himself until he wears himself out. Then, he takes an almost complete 180: he starts monitoring you to the point of stalking you. You may even catch him in the act and he’ll deny it, but you can feel his eyes on you just about everywhere you go. There’s two main reasons why he’s doing this. One, he wants to ensure that you’re not somehow going to stab him in the back or sell information about him. Two, and he’ll never admit this, is because he’s terrified of something bad happening to you. He’s become attached. He relies on your presence in his life now but he won’t admit it to himself yet.

It all comes to a head when he’s injured in a fight and you start to care for him. He’s so scared of being touched by you, feels so weak and exposed and enraged about it; all that trauma is bubbling up like bile and he’s overwhelmed and he breaks down right then and there, against his will. 

“Don’t touch me!” he shouts, stumbling away from you like a wild animal blindly thrashing against the back wall of a cage. “I don’t need your help! I don’t need help! I’m not weak!” 

The forest is dark with twilight and in his fervor, he can’t quite track his feet. You watch grimly as he collapses against a rock and buckles over, barely managing to hold himself up by his hands planted on the dirt. He crouches there, trembling and hyperventilating, and his fingernails claw the earth into his fists. 

He has never loathed himself more. He swore he’d never break down like this. It’s pathetic. You must think he’s so amusing. And you’d be right. He was made to be. He’s just a puppet and a puppet’s sole purpose is to entertain. Who was he kidding, thinking he could be anything else? 

And then you’re sinking down onto your knees in front of him and he freezes. He can’t find the power to hide from you. He’s utterly exposed; if you try to cut him down now, he doesn’t know how he’ll stop you, but he’ll die trying, won’t he? Why does the thought of hurting you make him feel even more pathetic?

“You’re one of the strongest people I know,” you tell him. “Even if you weren’t, I’d still want to be with you.”

Surely you’re only mocking him, using him - but when he looks up, all he sees is grief, like you can see into the core of him and are hurt by it. Stupid. How could you possibly understand? Why would you want to? 

Fuck you for never having an ulterior motive. Fuck your compassion. His hollow body can’t hold warmth, but when he’s with you, he feels it. It scares him, reminds him of what he’s been through, and yet he can’t let go of you. The only time he feels like there’s anything more meant for him is when he’s with you. 

Relationship Unlocked

Seriously, the day you embrace him in all of his mess is the day something in him finally breaks. He’s obsessed with you now, possessive and protective, panicked if you’re out of his sight for too long. A relationship is entirely new grounds for him and he’s terrified out of his mind by the implications of something so intimate. He thought he was broken before, but if he loses you, he’s certain he’ll crash completely. He needs you, needs to make sure you’re safe, that you’ll stay with him, that no one takes you away. 

How things end up is really on you. If you’re freaked out, he gets more desperate and will eventually cross into full-on yandere territory. If you stand your ground and continue to treat him like you always have, open and honest, he’ll slowly, slowly settle down. He’s still terrified of losing you, but the more consistent you are, the more trust he’s willing to put in you. 

It takes time and a lot of patience to temper your relationship. Kuni’s always gonna be a bit yandere, but depending on the route your relationship takes, that part of him will express itself with differing levels of intensity. Full-On Yandere Kuni completely loses himself to an animalistic nature, but Healing Kuni is way more chill. 

Eventually, he’s back to bantering with you to the point of insult, but never goes too too far. He’ll spar with you and mock you and be the smuggest little shit you’ve ever met, but it’s more companionable than domineering now. He’s not interested in holding any power over you; he considers you equals now, though he’d never admit that outright. 

(worried) Pathetic! You know, you’d die if this was a real fight!

(blushing) Would you stop staring at me? It’s creepy.

(smug) Ugh, you’re so annoying, wanting my attention all the time. Maybe if you do something to deserve it…

(lonely) Is your paperwork more important than your relationships? Is it really that hard to multitask? I - I’m not looking for attention! Shut up!

(got em) Damn, you suck at this. I easily pinned you down - wait, that’s what you were going for, isn’t it?!

Absolute Tsundere.

Still, it’s apparent in how he treats you that he worships you. He considers your opinions and insights, takes your preferences into account, pretends to just randomly finds trinkets you could surely find some use for even though you were just talking about it the other day, pouts when other people have your attention or when you’re too busy to spend all of your time with him, acts like a total grump when you love on him yet he’s also leaning into you and resting his chin on your shoulder - look, we’ll be here all day talking about how adorable he is. You are the center of his universe; the things he gives you - attention, adoration, kindness, consideration, protection - will only ever be given to you alone. And…maybe a kid. But not for a long time.

But he’s still got that mean streak in him that will never go away, especially when it comes to other people. He’s gone through too damn much to be with you just to lose you. No, fuck everyone else, if they think they can get closer to you than you are to him, he’s about to ruin. their. life. 

The type to straight up shit talk someone to their face. Mocks them for thinking they had a shot in the dark with you. It’s painfully obvious that you’re into him and no one else, or maybe this moron is in denial? That’s okay, maybe if I hit you hard enough, your brain will start working again. Roughs them up like a vending machine lmao. 

If you tell him to let it go, he’ll argue with you, but will ultimately do as you say. Looks like you’re lucky today, pissant. But that shitface gets one chance, if Kuni so much as sees them loitering around or if they make a comment about his obedience to you, they’re gonna get it even worse than they would have. Doesn’t usually happen because most people can see the derangement in his eyes and his vibe is absolutely lethal. But every once in a while, some poor, stupid soul will challenge him. They may or may not live to regret it, highly depends on your opinion and the type of infraction against you.

He’s like Shrek. Hear me out: he’s got layers. Many, many layers. Lots of insecurities, the main one being that he’s not meant to have good things. Got an absolute ogre of a temper and he’s an asshole to everyone, but way less of an asshole to the ones he loves. In fact, it’s because of you that he even starts to believe that maybe he’s deserving and loveable. Also acts like an unwilling knight-in-shining-armor but lowkey feels like such a badass when he’s got you oohing and aahing over him. Also, fucking LOVES it when you kick ass for him, he feels like a pampered prince. Will even try to get you jealous just to make you possessive. Fuck, nothing is hotter than when you’re possessive of him.

Jealousy. Lots of jealousy, especially earlier on in the relationship due to paranoia. You could just be talking to someone in passing and he’ll start glaring, inching closer to you or full on storming up to your side if he’s not already beside you. He practically snarls and drags you along. If it’s a work related interaction, he stands nearby, arms crossed and eyes darkened with distrust. Threatens people who seem to like your attention too much, but not when you’re around. If you do find out what he’s doing, feel free to set him straight. It pisses him off, but if you can be both reassuring and hold your boundaries, he’ll relent. 

He doesn’t dance around anything but his feelings, so if anyone seems to be bothersome, he’s going to bring it up to you. Sometimes the solution is as simple as a hug and a kiss, but other times, there needs to be some reassurance. Over time, he finds himself needing less of it, but it still lights him up inside to hear you say it and he will intentionally pester you until you do. He thinks he’s being sly, but you know better lol. It’s actually really fun to coyly tease him because it will either go right over his head that you’re pushing his frustration to the point of pouncing on you or he’ll get all flustered and angry and short-circuits when you finally cave and love on him. Acts like he hates you for it but you both know that couldn’t be further from the truth!

He also isn’t afraid to tell you if something you’ve done has rubbed him the wrong way and expects you to do the same in return. Admittedly, it can be hard to take and give critique at first unless you’re the more straightforward type. On one hand, Kuni can come across super judgemental and aggressive, and when paired with criticism, it can feel like an attack. And, I mean, it kind of is. He doesn’t always realize he’s doing it, but he’s been in survivalism for so long that offense has become his primary mode. He also tends to argue when you bring something up. But again, as he relaxes into your relationship, he becomes a little less offensive and more candid than anything. 

You’re not gonna hit anything with form like that. Try this. 

Your footwork is shit. Doesn’t matter if it worked, you left your backside completely vulnerable. A bug could stab you and you’d be helpless to stop it. I don’t know why a bug would have a knife, doesn’t matter, my case still stands, anything could end you like that. 

I’m in the middle of something, stop bothering me. We can talk all you want over lunch.

You are in a mood today, what’s your problem? (But like seriously is asking you so he can help.)

I told you, I’m fine! Fuck, care less! I can handle this! 

I could go on and I probably will later, but all in all, a relationship with Kuni is well worth it in the long-run. You are his sun, moon, stars, and sky, and he shows you that everyday in his own way. You challenge one another in many ways, but all of the best relationships involve growth pains!

NSFW

A switch that fights to be a dom and always sounds like a bottom haha. Also a total brat. Whether he’s topping or bottoming, he’s gonna talk shit even when he’s writhing from how stupid he’s been fucked. So loud. You look so stupid. Did I do that? Am I fucking you so good you’ve gone stupid? Ohhh, fuuuck yes, cum on me, cum on me! Doesn’t even mean to be, you just feel so good and he trusts you more than anything. He also loves feeling powerful and nothing gets him off more than the power he holds over your body, fucking you into oblivion. You’re so responsive to him, so attracted to him, it blows his mind that someone could love him so much. His voice gets raspy when he’s close to cumming. Sometimes laughs when he cums, breathless and so satisfied he could bounce off the walls. 

His cock could go one of two ways: 1) his current form has one already or 2) he can have one made for him (or several? hmmm). Anyway - his cock is so pretty and the flushed tip is so suckable. It’s not super long or thick, but it’s got a nice curve that hits you right in the best places. When he grinds into you, that curve brings stars to your eyes and this smug tease knows it. He’ll grind into you like he’s cockwarming until you’re losing your shit and begging him for relief. Too much for you? So scream. Maybe that’ll help.

Is condescending as hell. Yeah, I know it feels good. Feels too much. Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay. Keep cumming. Will make you beg for what you want, too, and then gives it to you suddenly just to surprise you. Thinks it’s cute (it’s mean!). Most of all, wants you to tell the world that you’re his, that you belong to him. Say that you belong to me. Say it. Say it! Don’t. fucking. stop! Is immediately so close to cumming his brains out when you scream it out. If you save it for when he’s just about to cum, he’ll immediately fall off the edge with his toes curling and eyes rolled back in his head. 

It’s so easy to get him riled up, too, you can make a bingo game out of it lmao. Jealousy, anger, victory, sadness, adrenaline from a battle, wearing his clothes or something even incrementally skimpy,

Kisses you passionately and typically doesn’t care if people are around. Just wants everyone to see him marking you, see you marking him, and know for certain that nothing can come between you. But he has times where he’ll kiss you so tenderly and slowly. Happens once you’re both sated, when he feels so close to you it fills him up, when you’re cuddling or one of you is having a bad day, and when he’s making love to you, which doesn’t happen as often as fucking, but that makes it even more special.

Dirty secret time: If he’s feeling jealous/possessive, he loves to set up a make out session with you when and where he knows the person he’s wary of will catch you. Will not allow anyone else to see you exposed - only he gets that honor - but if he’s feeling particularly pissed off about another person, he’ll drag you somewhere private where he knows they’ll hear him seducing you. May or may not tell you what he’s doing. Hands against the wall. Don’t you fucking move them. I wanna see how long you can stand while I’m pumping you. No, don’t you shut up on me! Say it louder! Say. My. Name! 

Absolutely fierce with his tongue. Loves loves loves oral, giving and receiving, it makes him feel so powerful to worship and be worshiped. He doesn’t always have the patience for foreplay, but he’s got to taste you at least once during a session. Is sometimes so nasty, he’ll eat both of your essences off of you and can’t help but cant his hardening dick for some relief. If he’s feeling particularly possessive, he’ll suck and bite down on you for hours, pinning you down by the pelvis as he nudges his nose deeper. You can clamp your thighs around his head, buck your hips, writhe all over the sheets, but he won’t show you mercy; he gets off of torturing you until you’re numb and your voice is hoarse. 

When receiving, he loses his mind. Tries to string his fucked out braincells to form a sentence but devolves into babbling. Ugh, fuck, there! There there there, I - can’t - deep. So so so deep, I - ugh! Will fuck your throat like he’s riding a bull, you’ll probably need to pin him down. In fact, do it anyway and make him take it, he might scream with frustration when he cums. 

His fingers are so long and lithe, they fit so deeply into you. And they’re so smooth, they enter you without the need for much prep. Scissors and rams himself deeper, laughing when you cry out. His fingers will crawl across your thighs and outline your sex underneath tables. If you get him back, he’ll give you the angriest, dirtiest look because now he’s not gonna be able to stop thinking about putting you in your place. Taking control pisses him off and is a great gateway to rough sex and it’s so much fun! Will go one of two ways: he’s either gonna fight for dominance and fuck your soul out of your body or he’s gonna be forced to take it like a good boy, cursing and shit talking with the remnants of his desire for control. Honestly loves it when you take control, he knows you’re not going to hurt him or ignore him if something is too much, but you’ve gotta earn it first. He’ll still fight back a bit, but he feels so so so good when you’re using him and praising him and maybe clamping a hand down on his throat, he could cry.

While he’s down to try just about anything once, he’s not interested in anything you’re not vibing with. He’s obsessed with you, worships you, the last thing he wants is to betray you. Feels like absolute trash if he screws up or hurts you in a way that isn’t welcomed by you during sex and will be really quiet for a while. He’s beating himself up on the inside. Reassure him that things happen during sex that no one can account for and that doesn’t make someone a bad person; still, it’s good to talk about these things. In the long run, he’ll still feel bad about it, but he’ll also become quicker to move on if you want to keep going.

Loves to choke and be choked. Semi-public sex is so hot to him, like taking you on a balcony overlooking a beautiful city or in a deserted area out in nature. Also loves to blindfold you and keep you guessing. Not a big fan of kinks that would hinder his control, like bdsm or being cuffed and blindfolded himself. Maybe if he’s blindfolded without the cuffs or vice versa. He trusts you more than anything, but it doesn’t feel good for him to be totally at your mercy; he doesn’t feel totally safe. Sometimes he’s down for it, but usually, he just feels really uncomfortable.

I could go on and I want to, but then we’d be here forever. In conclusion, Kuni is a freak but also a sweetheart in his own way. Kind of gives me Levi Ackerman vibes, anyone else??

[loveforfictionalmen]

BajiFuyu fic, featuring witch!reader

Tw: reader does tarot

Set during Bloody Halloween arc.

Y/N sat on her bed, a patched up Chifuyu across from her. Baji had just beaten Chifuyu's face in and the latter came to her to patch him up. Not wanting his mom to see him like this.

She had been shuffling tarot cards for the past ten minutes. Her aura oozed anxiety and fear as well as a hint of anger. Her hands were tingling, she had been ready to draw them five minutes ago. She was scared though. So scared, scared of the outcome. The possible future that awaited them. That awaited Baji, Chifuyu, and herself.

"I don't think the cards are going to have answers this time, babe " Chifuyu finally broke the silence.

"Hush, I was just getting ready to read them you know, " Airi pouted before biting her lip nervously. "I'm just scared Fuyu" she finally looked at him before pulling a card

The moon.

She let out a breath of relief as Chifuyu eyed the card. He knew better than to touch the card for a better look, remembering all the times she's chewed him and Baji out in the past for touching her deck. His hand came up to cup his eye despite it already being patched up.

"Is that a good or bad card? " Chifuyu pondered out loud.

Y/N shook her head " There's not really a good or bad card. They all have good and bad sides to them. It all depends on the context of the reading." Y/N gave a bitter smile before continuing "In this case I'd say it's both, things aren't always what they seem in the moonlight. We don't have all the facts therefore we can't make any big decisions right now"

Chifuyu sat up straight, crossing his arms. "What does that mean?"

Y/N started biting her lip again before speaking. "I think it means we can't make any big decisions against Baji right now. We don't know everything yet." She pulled another card

Nine of Swords.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I KNEW YOU'D POP UP! " Y/N cried out, hands shooting in the air.

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID THERE WERE NO BAD CARDS" Chifuyu exclaimed hands also shooting in the air.

"I know what I said damn it and there aren't but that doesn't mean I absolutely LOVE all of them. This one basically translates to your 3 am thoughts that keep you up at night" she replied crossing her arms.

"Then why the hell did you yell?" Chifuyu cut her off. He wasn't surprised she yelled as his girlfriend was a very 'passionate' person and got loud on some occasions. He actually quite enjoyed her comedic little out bursts but right now he felt like he was going to rip at the seams. Baji didn't want to tell them what he was thinking. That was unusual, they all told each other everything, or so Chifuyu thought.

He thought back to earlier that day. They were all on the rooftop, their usual spot for lunch time. Baji had been awfully quiet the entire day. He stared up at the clouds passing by before Chifuyu called out to him.

"Hey Baji, you feel okay? You've been quiet all day"

Baji ignored him, his mind spinning. He needed to keep them safe. As safe as he could, which meant shutting them out. He had to hurt them in the way that would break them most in hopes of keeping them alive.

"Kei, quit ignoring us" Y/N whined, shaking his arm a little. Baji's chest tightened, he felt like he couldn't breathe, but he hid his pain well.

"We should break up, " Baji felt like he wanted to puke. The other two's eyes widened at their boyfriend's sudden reply.

"No"

"Why"

Baji turned to them smirking "isn't it obvious, I don't like either of you any more. " Once upon a time Baji would've pummeled anyone who hurt either of them like this. And now he's become that monster.

Chifuyu glanced at Y/N. She wasn't doing much better. She had been fighting a breakdown since Chifuyu came stumbling through the door. And now she pulled her least favorite card.

"Because, you didn't let me finish, it's right side up which means find a way to solve it. Which is obviously easier said than done" she sighed, pushing a braid out of her face.

They sat in silence for a while, neither having much more energy to speak. Chifuyu reached over the cards, grabbing her shaking hands. "It's gonna be okay love. Baji will come to us when he's ready"

Y/N turned her hands over in his, so their palms were touching. She linked her fingers with his. "What if he doesn't Fuyu, I'm so scared. I keep having dreams. Nightmares" she whispers

"What're the nightmares," he asks carefully

Y/N sniffles, trying to contain herself. Her heart felt as if it was bruising the inside of her chest with how hard it was beating. She felt her hands become sweaty and a fleeting thought worried if he could feel it too. She swallowed before speaking.

"We're in a junkyard, and there's a brawl. " swallowed the lump in her throat before continuing "and in the middle of it is Kei. He's bleeding from the mouth. And then he… " She bit her lip and averted her eyes from Chifuyu's gaze.

"Take your time love, " Chifuyu comforts her. He gives a gentle squeeze to her hands, coupled with a warming smile. He didn't like where this was going, knowing that his girlfriend's dreams were no joke. Her often sensing bad news before it happened, like a sixth sense.

"He stabs himself Fuyu, right in the stomach." She blurts out, tears forming in her eyes. She sniffles and fights back her sobs threatening to escape her. Chifuyu is silent, a lump forming in his throat. He swallows before moving the cards. She can chew him out later

He pats his lap, a silent request for her to come lay in it. She crawls over to him, moving herself to fit in his lap. She nuzzles her head into the crook of his neck and curls into him. She inhales his scent, allowing it to calm her as she feels him snake his arms around her.

"Don't worry about all of this. I'm gonna find out what's going on, okay? Just promise me you'll stay out of it"

Hours later

Y/N laid in bed tossing and turning. She hadn't slept much that night, just like the cards had said. She sighed before getting up. She looked at her phone.

3:38 am

No new messages

She bit her lip, wanting nothing more to curl up in Baji's arms and cry. She suddenly got an idea. Getting out of bed usually proved to be a task for her, but right now she didn't want to be in her bed. Only his (that's what she said)

She got dressed, not bothering to take off her bonnet. If things went as planned she wouldn't have a reason to take it off. Not bothering to tip toe as she stalked towards the front door, knowing that her mother was down for the night. She grabbed a grappling hook her mother had bought during her camping phase. Sometimes she was glad her mother was a hoarder.

'Stay out of it'

Chifuyu's words lingered in her mind, stopping her from touching the door knob. He wanted her to stay out of things, not wanting to see her hurt. Her heart twinged a little at the thought. She understood he wanted her safe but she couldn't stand by as her boyfriends hurt each other. Letting out a shaky breath she put her hand on the door knob and turned it.

The walk to Baji's wasn't far from her apartment building. Although one creep tried following her until she scared them off with her fists just like the boys taught her to. Her mind however was hell. Remnants of nightmares plagued her mind. She nearly cried several times on the way. She didn't dare let any tears out yet, knowing that once she started she wouldn't stop.

The climb to Baji's room however was a different story. She grabbed her grappling hook and flung it towards Baji's balcony. Thank gods he was only on the second floor. She began climbing the side of the building nervously.

Baji, hearing the noise outside his window, opens the sliding door. His eyes widen a bit before they narrow. "What the hell are you doing? " he questions . 'She's insane' he thinks

"I should be asking you that, now help pull me up" She replies, still climbing. Baji shakes his head, he grabs the other end of the rope and begins pulling her up.

When she is finally within reach he grabs her hands and pulls her over the edge of his balcony. "I'll ask again, what the hell are you doing? " Baji tries his hardest to keep his tone cold, unfeeling. It was hard enough with Chifuyu, and it's equally hard with her. He loves them. It hurts him to lie to them like this but for the sake of everyone he has to.

'I have to' repeats in his head.

"And I said, I should be asking you that. What's going on? Why have you shut us out Kei?" Y/N asks. She can feel the dam gates breaking now that she's finally in front of him.

"This doesn't concern you, Y/N. Stay out of it" he responds bitterly "now go home, I'll walk you back" he finishes

Y/N feels something inside her break. Neither wants her hurt in the process of whatever this is. But she's already hurt the moment she heard the news and saw Chifuyu's bloody face. An image that stays with her, that pops in her mind instantly.

"No!" She cries. The gates finally burst and she covers her face. Her heart threatened to beat out of her own chest "You're hurt but won't tell us anything, so in turn you hurt Fuyu, and me, because you won't tell us anything" she says through hiccups

It breaks him to see her like this, the same way it broke him when his fist first collided with Chifuyu's face. 'Be strong' he clenched his fists and closed his eyes. He can't look at her. "This isn't about anything, I don't wanna be in ToMan anymore and that's that."

"Then mean it when you say that Kei!" She sobs. She starts to shiver in the cold night and Baji sighs. He shrugs off his jacket and places it around her shoulders. She leans into him and wraps her arms around him. Refusing to let go as he tries to back away.

"Let go"

"No"

"You can't stay here"

"Watch me"

Baji sighs again, he knows he can't change her mind. He can only try and at least make her more comfortable, he doesn't know when he'll be able to again so he takes this chance. 'Doesn't mean you have to tell her anything' he thinks. His chest tightens.

Instead of trying again to move away, he leans down to place an arm underneath her knees. Scooping her up into his arms in a motion familiar to both of them. He carries her inside. She continues to sob into his chest.

He carried her over to his bed, where he had just been laying before. It was barely big enough for the two of them but it would do for the moment, he wasn't planning on sleeping anyways.

He lays down and pulls her on top of him, her ear to his chest.

"Sleep." He says all while stroking the top of her head. She wants to tell him no, to argue, to break free and demand to know what's going on in his head. But she doesn't, sleep quickly overcoming her.

He was weighing the pros and the cons of his actions right now. 'Who knows when I'll get to do this again' he thought. 'This will just confuse her' immediately replaces the thought.

Baji keeps stroking her head, all while fighting a battle inside his. He thought of Chifuyu, his heart broke with every swing. He remembers leaving school early today. How he had to lead Chifuyu straight into a trap and then pounce.

Who knew this would be the last time

[squirrelno2]

A while back I threatened to post my outline of a hypothetical season two of JATP. This is that outline (seasons 3-5 will be longer coming but they're also gonna happen because I said so). I'm using what I know Kenny said about how the show would have gone, which means I'm not letting myself do ships other than Juke and Willex since those are the only ones we know would have been canon in the rest of the show, and I'm also trying to achieve the ending Kenny planned (even though I have. No idea if I'd make the same calls? Anyway)

So this season in my head would have three major Subjects: developing the backstory of Trevor/Bobby and beginning overt Carrie development via her interactions with him, an Alex family arc (letting us develop not only Willex but also his relationship with Julie, as well as looking into his past with the guys), and of course the Nick possession plotline (sorry Nick you're last but most pressing I swear). Externally, the framework for this is a school show where Julie and Nick have to work together (think the dance thing but as a season long arc whoops. We have to get them in the same room often. For dramatic irony)

Episode Thoughts below

Episode 1:

As a teaser we would get a flashback to Julie and Carlos talking about the ghosts, helping recap the previous season while establishing what Carlos knows and how he feels about it.

The main plot of this episode would be Nick/Caleb trying to get closer to Julie and Luke pouting, for which Julie calls him out since it's just Nick trying to be friends as far as she knows.

Because the guys are able to touch Julie and have been revealed to Carlos, Luke is like "what if we revealed ourselves to other ppl, like our parents" and Alex talks him out of it - at the time it all seems very face value but this is obviously foreshadowing his feelings on the family stuff

Bobby/Trevor is panicking and trying everything to learn more about the band, including attending a JATP show

The featured song for this would be the show Trevor attends, which would either tie into Luke's jealousy over Nick or poke at Trevor's issues by referencing the guys' pasts. Possibly if it's cleverly written we can get both, and Luke apologises to Julie about the Nick thing afterwards while Trevor falls into a guilt spiral

Episode 2

Teaser: Trevor shows up to the Molina house while Julie is out to talk to Ray, looking super frazzled (directly following guilt spiral above)

The main plot would be Alex and Luke having another issue while talking about their families, resulting in Alex going to find Willie but being unable to talk to him and eventually ending up at Julie's house as Luke and Reggie look for him; he opens up to Julie about his relationship with his parents and why Luke going from "screw family!" To "man I love my parents" is so hurtful in particular

Carlos and Flynn work together trying to divert Trevor and Ray's questions about the band. This is the comedic relief but can also be used to plant some seeds of a Flynn insecurity arc

Carrie decides to admit she liked Julie's show to Nick, because in her mind that'll put them "on" again, only to find that he's reacting strangely to her in a way that's not normal annoyed Nick

Featured songs include a Carrie rehearsal where we see her distracted by how badly her conversation with Nick went and a Hollywood Ghost Club show that Alex sees when he goes looking for Willie, which ends up making him more upset when he sees Willie dancing in it

Episode 3

After Alex saw the HGC they're like clearly we need to get Willie out of there so both the teaser and the main plot are this; Willie is under Caleb's control and there are a series of near-misses with Caleb!Nick just out of sight

Carlos is upset about being left out and complains to Flynn, who is also deeply upset but tries to distract him

Trevor tries to ask Carrie about Julie's band but she is only interested in complaining about how weird Nick has been

Featured songs include a rap by Flynn designed to distract Carlos and make him laugh, which gets cut off partway through, and a Willex duet that's also kind of a battle of the bands between jatp and the hgc

Episode 4

Willie knows Caleb is coming back and the freeing wasn't successful so he begs them to go as the teaser

Julie can't give Alex Willie so she decides she wants to give him closure with his family - while Luke was ok with this last season Alex is not and they finally have a conversation about how they all have overstepped with that stuff, keeping Julie from actually making contact

Carrie realises her dad is severely messed up over jatp and decides she has to investigate this (because if she is a Good Person then she can make people like her!) and attempts to ingratiate herself again with Julie and Flynn (yes this goes terribly)

Caleb!Nick and Julie continue to hang out, which is mostly just ominous and also showcases Luke's development since episode one bc he's annoyed but doing much better

Featured song here is a Caleb!Nick and Julie duet they're thinking about doing for the school show

Episode 5

Willie finds out that Caleb is possessing Nick in the teaser

Julie enlists the others to do something nice for Alex, and they write a song with an Alex feature while struggling to dance around the whole "your boyfriend is being held captive by an evil jazz ghost" thing

Flynn confronts Carrie about her sudden niceness, leading Carrie to snap back and pick at Flynn's insecurities - Carrie walks away knowing she's failed at her original plan but also Flynn walks away deeply upset

Carlos becomes convinced, between Trevor's weirdness and Carrie's, that the Wilsons are part of some grand ghost conspiracy, and attempts to investigate accordingly, ending up sneaking into the Wilson house

The featured song for this episode is the Alex song they write

Episode 6

In the teaser, Alex's family sees JATP on Youtube

The main plot here is Julie and Alex navigating the fuckery that the Mercer family brings, partly them being "how dare you use his image!!!" on a legal level and partly them saying shit Alex Knows isn't true about who Alex was to them

Willie is trying to escape the HGC to warn the others about Caleb!Nick

Trevor finds Carlos who decides to confront him and realises as he's explaining his elaborate conspiracy theory that Trevor probably stole "my name is Luke" from Luke

Featured songs are a Trevor song he plays while explaining himself to Carlos and a song that JATP plays when they realise they can't get rid of the Mercers or call them out any other way

Episode 7

Willie appears post-"yes this is actually Alex" song and warns them about Nick/Caleb before getting yanked away

Alex gets to properly have it out with the family members who are present (some family members reconcile and some remain assholes that Alex gets to call out at the end) and ends up being like "all I care about is Willie, Im dead so we don't need to matter to each other" or something I don't know how I'd have him say it yet or who gets that speech (his dad? Probably?)

Julie and the guys try to figure out what to do, struggling to act normal around Caleb!Nick as they try to come up with a plan to help Willie; this takes them to the night of the school show

Carrie and Carlos both want to ask Julie questions about what's up with Trevor and get brushed off bc of the stress of everything else; Flynn runs interference but is visibly upset at being left out of the planning again

The only song in this is one from the school show rehearsal, maybe a Dirty Candi number or a Flynn song so we can keep the JATP with Nick song for the finale

Episode 8

In the teaser, Caleb knows Julie knows who he is and threatens her to stay away from his club, including Willie

Julie apologises to Carlos for brushing him off and then scolds him for all the stuff with Trevor, who she avoids like the plague; she thanks Flynn for everything she's done lately

The few Mercers who reconciled with Alex come to the show

Using the power of love, friendship, and aggressively singing, Julie and the guys push Caleb out of Nick (everyone thinks they upped their hologram light show game when the purple smoke appears) - Nick is bewildered but deeply grateful and gets some non-Caleb singing in at the finale of the song

[jacquelinemerritt]

Dragon Ball Z: Abridged - Christmas Tree of Might Review

Originally posted on December 25th, 2015

Goku starring in a Christmas special somehow makes perfect sense.

It is incredibly strange to me the ease with which Team Four Star blends the themes characteristic of a Christmas special with the universe of Dragonball Z. The idea that Goku would be the most stalwart defender of Christmas in the universe works surprisingly well, and making it so the Tree of Might sucks the Joy of ChristmasTM from the earth instead of its energy is a change that I didn’t question for a second.

I’m also reminded of Princess Snake, and I see this film as a good indicator of the growth experienced by Team Four Star between then and now. Back then, they wrote an entire episode based on the (unfunny) joke that Princess Snake and Solid Snake share the same name, so why not have her voice be a (albeit decent) David Hayter impression? With this film though, Team Four Star has taken the strange concept of a Dragonball Z Christmas film and built upon that in every possible aspect.

Part of the success of this is that they go out of their way to imbue every aspect of the film with signifiers of the Christmas season; the inclusion of Christmas music at every opportunity is one of the tricks they use most often, and their use of a metal rendition of “Deck the Halls” as the theme for the destruction of the earth is particularly clever.

All of the villains being “misfit minions” of Christmas is a great touch as well, and though the casual mentions of animal rape and child molestation tip slightly over the line of good taste, it’s still made very clear that these villains are just the type of despicable who would wish to destroy Christmas.

Except for Turle, that is. His story of the injustice of Freeza Day is just unfortunate enough to raise the question of whether or not we have a right to celebrate joy and peace when many around us are suffering, and Team Four Star wisely leaves that question unanswered. Even the reveal that Santa didn’t visit planet Vegeta out of fear for his own safety calls into question our willingness to actually spread the love we preach during this holiday.

Another significant moral question is raised when Gohan passingly mentions the rise of depression and suicides during the holidays, as he makes fun of Yamcha for his obsession with material possession causing him to feel destitute. Who’d have thought that a comedic adaptation of a silly Japanese anime would raise such significant questions about our holiday?

Rating: 4.5/5

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Stray Observations

I love that Krillin’s wish for a kickass Christmas tree is the reason for Turle and his gang’s arrival.

King Kai: “Are we laughing at Yamcha, ‘cause I’m always up for that.”

Gohan: “Santa’s just gonna bring me books again.”

Chi Chi: “He brings you what you like, and what do you like?”

Gohan: “I like books!”

Gohan: “Don’t talk s*** about Santa!”

Jinga: “Jinga!”

Beru: “And Beru!”

Tien: “F***ING WEABOOS!”

“This is so non-canon it hurts.”

Goku: “What’d you get for Freeza Day?”

Turle: “He blew our planet up!”

Merry Christmas, everyone!

[ask-vampire-weegee]

How did Luigi get turned? What were the circumstances?

okay so ive been thinking on it more and i think i have something a tiny bit less vague figured out,

this post may get long because i am stupidly prone to rambles so ill put it under a cut~ dnfjkasda

e.gadd noticed the measurement of paranormal energy/activity in a forest nearby one of his labs (he probably has multiple dude would be the kinda guy to go to another country illegally build an underground lab thats absolutely insane and full of unethical experiments leave and never come back) and asked luigi to go check it out, charlotte's (the name of the vamp that turned luigi, people following my main @your-local-uwu-artist likely know of her) house is covered by foliage and for lack of better term she's a hikikomori so she's very low profile, a number of ghosts (such as jim) live and/or often visit charlotte's estate hince why e.gadd's machines would have picked up on the location, E. gadd was completely unaware of this, he did not know that this was a possibility, i mean even if he was aware would NOT put it past the guy to send luigi anyway, but he would have than at least sent luigi prepared.

you know how vampires cant enter somewhere un invited? yeah so the reason why a vampire living alone in a spooky mansion would attack a poor visitor is probably cause said visitor didnt have the same decency the vampire has to at least knock and not just go walkin around someone elses home: because i think the concept that vampires are both monsters that will kill you and extremely polite very comedic

aka: charlotte attacked luigi because "the fuck this guy doing in my house??"

there are sorta multiple ways that one can be turned into a vampire, im still trying to decide what i can make sound scientifically believable so please keep in mind my only knowledge of biology and sciency things is limited to what one can learn from pokemon trivia, which is more than youd expect but like not alot

when vampiric blood is injected into one it can slowly infect the victims own blood via probably multiplying but im still deciding and procrastinating googling even more stupid questions fdsank

so bassically the vampiric blood would have to be able to overpower the victim's blood enough in order for the victim to turn, so while theres multiple factors for that we can try to split that into two main categories

vampires that died while/before turning (so like, when one dies during a vampire attack, most likely from blood loss, so the vampiric blood can take over very quickly and the transformation itself is painless, i mean dieing probably hurts a bit but like, if a turning was intentional and consensual this is probably the method used)

and vampires that lived through the transformation, which is what luigi is

the transformation can vary in painfullness and length depending on how fast it takes for the vampiric blood to take over: theoretically one could even prevent a vampire transformation if they treated it quickly enough, think of it like when your sick and your bodies fighting off an illness but instead of a cold its fucking vampirism and if your starting to show symptoms than its probably too late aknfdkja

in luigis case it likely would have been preventable if he called E.gadd earlier

luigi's transformation took over a week and was very painful, because the amount of vampiric blood injected wasnt alot, and he didnt lose enough blood for it to take over quickly, after transforming luigi slept for at least over a day, which was definitely terrifying for mario sense fun fact: vampires dont really have heartbeats

[heyletsgetbuzzed]

Ayo ayo, I finally finished the clown man himself, Barnaby Bingo! He is the same height as our usual canine, and like the beagle before him, he came from a circus but he's more of a physical comedic type clown rather than a jokester. Because toddlers usually can't comprehend funny word play in daycares, in Doghouse, Barnaby is a slapstick kind of character. Making loud noises with a horn, pranking the neighbors and also getting harmed in some zany way to get laughs. Of course, no one gets seriously hurt- he's a professional when it comes down to it.

For his design, I really went in fully with the whole carnival clown look in a sense- and most notable with his fake flower, which does shoot out water to whoever gets close. I also made sure he still had his pads on his hands, and each one of them make funny noises if you press then hard enough. One could be a horn sound, or even a honk and another could be a whoopee cushion, who knows? It changes by the day for the clown, and his nose is the same thing. For his house, sticking with the clown theme, I made him live in a carnival tent with various equipment he used in the circus that he now used on his neighbors. That and to also entertain his buddies as well.

Speaking of, he is the third partner in crime with Wally and Julie for their games, and usually Barnaby gets into some type of mess or pranks the pair during the game itself. However, he usually spends most of his time with Howdy, since they both share a taste with pranking. Sometimes, they like to challenge each other to see who can fall for their tricks the most and usually he wins half the time. They're best buddies, but not as much as Barnaby is with Wally. He likes to spoil the spaniel as much as possible, and even teaches him some cool tricks with circus equipment Barnaby owns because he finds the pooch to be enjoyable company. The only two who don't really like our clown man is of course Frank and Poppy, since they're the most uptight and the most pranked out of everyone in the neighborhood.

One last fact about Barnaby is actually about his belt, the centerpiece, the smiling face, is a detectable ball that he throws to play fetch with Wally. It's adorable, and one of their favorite activity to spent time together.

I hope y'all enjoy this tall clown man, and next will be the dreaming Sally! So stay tuned!

[fuck-john-calvin]

for the one person asking (ilysm by the way)

Customer Service would be a web comic that starts as an anthology of comedic strips and gains a meta plot. Yeah yeah, get your tma reference giggles out now, this has definitely taken some major elements out of that.

Basically, there's this place called Customer Service that's a sort of pocket dimension. People take magical objects that they're not happy with for one reason or another to this place to 'return' them. It sells no magic items and very rarely gives any kind of reimbursement, so there's no clear reason why it's called that, but it is.

There are always two people at the desk- one person who is to be the main face of the current customer's experience, and one there for backup just in case. Overall, there are four workers. Which ones take which role at what time is kinda random, at least for now.

The four characters don't have names yet, but general personalities:

-there's one who is the most professional, most like what he's probably supposed to be doing, but also deeply curious about how these things work and is willing to endanger others and themself to try to figure it out. he doesn't wish active harm on the customer but their safety is definitely not their number one priority. he encourages them to actually return it so that he's able to get a better look at it

-there's the scared one! think a mix of the voices of the paranoid, hunted, and cheated. she doesn't really know what's going on but she knows it's dangerous and wants absolutely nothing to do with it. doesn't want the customer to get hurt and will give the best advice she can on dealing with the problem, but the safety of her and her coworkers comes first. she's the most practical, and also the only one with survival skills. she encourages the customer to take it back with them because she doesn't want to be in possession of something potentially dangerous

-there's the bored one. they're always reading, drawing, or on their phone. they have their earbuds in at all times and rarely interact when they're doing back up, and dislikes that they have to when they're the one up front. if and usually when the item starts doing something, however, they lean in and get very excited, intrigued and enthused by something new. they don't care about the items except in the moments when they're doing something interesting, and generally will choose the path of least resistance and encourage the customer to do whatever will likely get them out fastest.

-there's the worrying one. she is smiley and cheery at all times, and also pretty manipulative. it's not malevolent per se but has absolutely no regard for human life. do not trust her bc she will abuse that. it wants the most interesting possible outcome and so will screw around with the items to see what it can make happen. has the best actual customer service, rivaling the professional one's, even, but uses it to try and convince customers to do dumb shit. she encourages the customer to use the item or find ways to mess with it for her so it can observe it in a slightly safer fashion

each comic strip, in the beginning at least, covers one customer coming in, and lasts until either the customer or the item has run its course. eventually, someone wonders aloud where they go when the customer isn't there, where the others are, how they got here....and then things start to go a bit wonky :)

each of the main four get a character arc, there are several recurring customers, and a reason for everything that happens in their little corner of the multiverse, even if it originally seems like dream logic. at least one of the employees has a planned relationship with a customer. that's all I can say without giving too many spoilers for my non-existent story, but I hope you enjoyed the rant lol.