#they were a lot more controlling
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Just got back from seeing Sonic 3 and HOOOOOOLY SHIT y’all. Oh my fucking god. OH my god. Ohhhh my g o d
#IT. WAS. PHENOMENAL. PERFECTION. LITERALLY EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE ASKED FOR#SPOILERS AHEAD IN THE TAGS BEWARE#They gave us Shadow on a motorcycle. Shadow with a GUN. Shadow flexing by POPPING OFF HIS LIMITER RINGS LIKE A BADASS#AND!!! THE MOST GORGEOUS CREATURE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY GODDAMN LIFE. HOMIE WENT SUPER SHADOW AND HE WAS G L O R I O U S#THE LIGHT FUR…..THE SPARKLES…..THE GLOWINGGGGG!! HE WAS GLOWING!!!!!!#WE GOT LIVE AND LEARN!!!!! WE GOT LIVE AND LEARN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ALSO genuine family bonding? Sonic Team bonding? SONADOW BONDING???#Shadow’s little smiles during the flashbacks with Maria MY GOD I WAS GOING TO BLOW UP.#Shadow did the Akira slide on his bike and I said repeatedly under my breath I’m not a furry I’m not a furry I’m NOT a furry#I’M NOT I SWEAR#I’M JUST A HARDCORE SHADOW GIRLIE#Homie had me swooning tho I WILL NOT LIE!!!#I felt so bad for my friends I was probably insufferable for the entire film I tried SO hard to reign my fangirling back#I squealed and stimmed a LOT. SORRY Y’ALL THE AUTISM LEAPT OUT. THAT WAS BEYOND MY CONTROL#OH AND THE END?????? METAL SONIC??? A M Y??????#I KNEW they were gonna tease Amy I had a feeling#Also also it was so funny as we were walking out of the theater this guy was like ‘TAKE THAT OBAMA!!!’ and waited for an answer#And then he was like okay nobody got that. But then I said ‘I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT!!’ and he started CHEERING LMAOOO#That movie was a religious experience. For ME. I feel like I’ve ascended to heaven#I’m so. Fucking happy right now I’m SO happy it was so good I’m going to cry#I love you Shadow the Hedgehog I love you Sonic the Hedgehog I’m going to break apart literally right now#Also one more BIG thing but I’m putting that in a separate post. Hold on.#Shima speaks#Sonic 3#Sonic#Sonic the Hedgehog#Sonic movie 3#Sonic spoilers
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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Is it fair to say that Tee is a need?
Tee is a need, yes.
If the front office isn't able to make that work, would you be disappointed in that?
I'd be very disappointed in that, yeah.
#here take a compilation from today's presser of joe raving about tee#and being VERY assertive (aggressive) about how important tee is and how much joe needs him#how he'd be very disappointed in the front office!!!#talk about putting pressure on!!! joe doing the best he can with his influence!!! love to see it!!!#also i think it's so interesting to hear joe talk about how involved he wants to be in the offseason WITH the FO making decisions!!!#control freak <3 but also i do wonder how much influence and pressure he actually can provide??#like i trust him more than the brown/blackburn family at this point#let joe be GM too! fuck it!#god this is all so crazy WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN#when did the three of them (because i'm assuming ja'marr is going to be involved on his end at the very least)#decide okay we'll take this into our own hands#when they realized this season wouldn't go anywhere??#and it was supposed to be their last big hurrah together??#and they were like. no we're not accepting this is how it ends#it ends with us winning a super bowl together. there's no other option#because i'm just. i'm emotional. i'm feeling lots of things about this!!!!!#i love them so fucking much oh my god PLEASE let this work out my heart can't take it#joe burrow#tee higgins
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so help me god if I tanked the chance for a well-paid job with full medical benefits, sick leave, paid vacation time, etc. because I hardly ever do machine seam-finishing
I'm going to be. really really really upset
#personal#did a sewing test for a theatrical costuming job at a big local theatre the other day#did my best but I know some of my samples were probably quite wonky because I'm used to finishing seams by hand#and thus having more control to make adjustments as I go#a few I had to look up how to do on my phone- but then the proctor told me I could do that and they do it frequently in the shop#I go back and forth between 'it'll be fine; I probably did fine; they SAID they take all skill levels and that they google how to do things#and 'oh there's no WAY I'm getting this gig'#it was an interesting experience because the shop manager like. stopped me on the street to ask if I made my dress#and then if I would be interested in maybe joining her team#but now I'm like 'are they even going to believe I made the things I sent them pics of'#'or that they saw me wearing [I wore my winter coat to the test because it was V. Cold]'#'after my machine-felling on organza was an uneven disgrace'#I can fit and copy patterns from books and even do a bit of draping#I can do a lot of hand-stitching finishes pretty quickly and evenly#I can do insertion lace and soutache#I've made hats before#but I just. haven't done a lot of machine-finishing#and that's all they tested me on really#also sewing on snaps and one (1) hand-finishing stitch#(one I hardly ever use anyway- catch-stitch/zigzag stitch)#(I fell my hems generally speaking)
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Personal headcanon about the "you picked the wrong dellamorte" line, I don't think illario actually likes rook outside the context of them being someone close to lucanis. Like rook on their own isn't much to him, but when they meet it's yet another person talking about his cousin (why isn't he good enough for whatever job they're hiring for?) and on top of that they somehow bring him back from the dead (another whole can of worms for illario). Now he starts turning on the charm, but whether he's actually interested or this is just one more thing his cousin has that he doesn't and it gets under his skin, who knows. Either way, rook ignores illario, the guy who lives off his charm, and is instead interested in the guy who's never even dated before and thinks giving someone a knife is how to flirt. Infuriating
NO THANK YOU !! i am genuinely sorry if i have ever implied illario is into rook like i see some takes about it and unless it like ties into your rook's personal backstory i don't seriously think he's romantically jealous. at all. my enjoyment of that line stems from illario's pathological need to make it about himself and not see his strengths but what lucanis has, and therefore what he doesn't. he's annoyed enough to try and goad you in the middle of a fight about the 'wrong' dellamorte and completely blind to the fact that the venatori are at best, a stupid fucking alliance, and at worst, a cult that will devour the crows from the inside out and illario would have been the one to give them the keys. he sees lucanis make allies, needs his own, and instead of charming the other talons/houses as he should, he (probably spitefully) picks the venatori. or maybe he just thought it would be easier. ugh he makes me want to telekenetically throw him around
#and you raise a very hilarious point too LMFAO#not that he is jealous. just mad as hell its not working <3 I LIKE HIM VERY MUCH AND A NORMAL AMOUNT#to be clear i think his characterisation changed dramatically from wigmaker's job and a lot of his uh#very rash decisions about achieving power feels like they just needed a traitor character for lucanis#to really max out the use of spite. i really wish honestly that there was some canon support for illario#who would probably be a little more liked/popular than lucanis. bc lucanis is respected by the crows#but he's also a very distant 'dellamorte heir' figure. respect is not the same as being liked. so you know#there's the serious assassin with a rep for how good he is at killing#and there's a friendlier assassin with a rep for sweet talking#and neither of those reputations are necessarily true. but i know which one i'd be less afraid of#and i think illario would know that. and be able to use that. BUT WE DONT GET IT. WHATEVER.....#illario dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#answered#also we're introduced to an illario that understands being a crow. and has had all that drilled into him since childhood#why. would he. ally with the venatori.#why would he put himself into a situation that he couldnt control. other than 'the story needs a villain'#what im trying to say. is . there were the makings of a crow civil war here that ends with him tragically dead#if you asked me to expand on this i dont think i could. but like the main issue being the crows not standing together making#the antaam invasion worse (btw regarding this why the fuck were the antaam even invading) so lucanis' quest is#idk. something like uniting the crows together and potentially repairing his relationship w illario#or hardening him and convincing he needs to kill illario#this is me spitballing. dont even mind me#(glances at the 'illario mention' alarm going off in the background)#EDIT: AND ALSO IT JUST CAME TO ME#killing illario as an ending also makes lucanis first talon (oh we're really in the cycles now)#forgiving illario ends with illario becoming 'talon' tho he and lucanis work closely. like a ceo vs cfo#and ends with them repairing their relationship#in the ideal world lucanis would fully leave but im alright with crows making small steps towards becoming a bit healthier
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control (2019) + king of pain by the police
#art#digital#grayscale#control#control remedy#control 2019#hi *explodes*#<- hiss charged voice#ok but seriously im pretty stoked about these. not all of them are my absolute best work but a lot of them turned out really well and more#importantly i actually fucking finished all of them (only took about 2 months longer than i thought it would lmao)#ummm notes. all of these were done with the same single brush for everything you see and most were done on only 2 layers + one for the text#the first 3 were done first in order and the last one was done last i dont entirely remember the order of the rest#also i listened to the song exploder episode on the house of cards theme probably at least a dozen times while working on these#just felt like it set the mood well#anything else interesting i have to share about the process? dont think so... look out for some alternate color versions#in the next few days as i endeavor to figure out gradient maps i suppose#well thats it. very much hope this gets even half as much traction as last weeks memes due to the aforementioned 3 months spent working#but we'll see. we shall see.#yayyyyy posting art before bedtime <3
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he had in fact avoided answering that question, because he didn't know whether or not they would have the same answer and, for some reason, that made tate feel a bit nervous. however, he should have known that she wouldn't let it go so easily. for a moment, he was silent. and then, with a little smile, tate answered. " i think it would have. we're different now, i... would have done things differently. " but he had been young and naive, put in a situation without anyone to help him learn how to navigate it. many things had fallen into the cracks and gotten lost during that time as he tried his best to simply make it in such a cutthroat industry — and, sadly, their relationship had been one of them, even if he hadn't meant for it to be. " i think happiness is relative. i wouldn't be able to give you a direct answer. there's moments where i am and moments where i'm not. " a brief pause followed before tate added. " are you? "
“you didn’t answer my question.” ara points out. “do you really think it would’ve ended any differently?” maybe so. if they’d met now, they would have been free from the once controlling claws of their agencies. they were young and didn’t have much of a leverage against grown-ups in suits that had too much power over them back then. but maybe they would have never met or fallen as hard as they did, held together by a bond developed between two dreamers who wanted too much at once. “it’s been so long.” she echoes. they should both have moved on by now. “do you think you’re happy now?” as happy as they wanted to be?
#fadinglights#noh ‘ tate ’ kyungwon : threads .#I LOVE THIS SM FR FR#i love how we just winging it and its so good LMAO#but yesss i like that!!#maybe waaay back when they had recently debuted?#i can def see his agency in the past doing that bc#they were a lot more controlling#than the one he is in now#and he was jsut struggling sm to deal w the group's popularity tbh#bc he started so young#so i feel like it was just so much for him to handle
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#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#always sunny#macdennis#macden#analysis#meta#a beautiful smile to hide the pain...#what if i told you this post was inspired by me listening to SURFACE PRESSURE from encanto and thinking ''it's mac''#who am i if can't carry it all. if i falter......#i think if dennis could see mac's hole that hes hidden so well it would humble him. because he thinks mac doesn't care. he does#hes under a lot of pressure all the time. self imposed. to make sure everyone is safe. shouldering it all and pretending to be fine.#to be worthy of their love. to be in control#if they could see each other's holes and realize how similar yet opposite their experiences are... like foils.#hiding their vulnerability from the other#i could talk about this dynamic of taking care of each other for days dont try me#can we talk about also that part in hits theroad where they were talking abt a guy seeming fine then going crazy right before mac says that#can we acknowledge that it was about mac. and he really could snap any moment from the pressure#the more demanding dennis is of his help. the thinner mac is spread. can weeee talk about ittttt#parallels
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It's a bit silly that found it unlikely for Luka and Till to be the final match back then. The more that I thought about it, the more it made sense. Sure, Luka and Ivan are incredibly similar in terms of personality and image, but in terms of circumstance Luka and Till are opposite sides of the same coin. I really couldn't envision a better matchup.
#ivan v luka is like “what if i looked in the mirror and had to fight another version of myself”#luka v till is like “what if i fought someone so fundamentally different from me who was put in my same circumstances”#i have SO MANY THOUGHTS on till vs luka. you guys need to bear with me seriously because ive been trying to make coherent thoughts#its just empty rb#BUT I WILL TRY#luka nd ivan were mentioned to be incredibly similar in personality#the only difference is the mask they put on#luka is calm doll-like and graceful while ivan is cheerful easygoing and suave#at their core they are the same#and honestly i think that luka v till is genuinely a more interesting matchup because of the fact that they are so different#luka and till are such different people at heart yet have been placed into the same torture and circumstance#and its due to their upbringing that they end up developing similarity#(that one anon who brought up their competitive and ruthless behavior as a means of taking control. a result of their relentless abuse)#theres a lot of info that has been revealed about them and their segyein that really emphasizes#just how similar their upbringings are#they remind me of those double guinea pig experiments#i will go in depth in another post but rigjt now my brain is dry....#alnst#alien stage#alien stage luka#alien stage till#alien stage round 7#para.musing
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you see, i don't hate ivypool, but i also think dovewing should be legally allowed to kill her if she ever wants to at this point because come on
#warrior cats#dovewing#ivypool frustrates me because she would be so much more interesting if they actually acknowledged that she was an arsehole in canon#or so much more likeable as a person if she grew out of her weird controlling thing with her sister's love life once they were both adults#but alas and alack we're stuck in a weird limbo where she is Perfect and so much Cooler and Tougher than her sister bc Girlboss#but also never really gets to grow or change as a person beyond being a shitty teenager in oots#i like her best as a weird normal guy stuck in a Situation in dark forest maps bc i did enjoy her oots chapters a lot though#peak wacky warrior cats magic bullshit after the broken code. sick of ivypool yelling at dovewing hashtag girlboss moments tho
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Ulysses obsession with the Courier is a special type of sad to me cause the Courier’s part was so important but so unwitting. They had no idea what was in the package they delivered and neither did he. Neither had an idea of what it could’ve done and the Courier was only caring out their job (mind you the Courier could be killed via notes in the express contract if they don’t). To them it was just another regular delivery to the divide and one that they likely thought would help, just like all the ones before.
It’s so tragic for Ulysses to hold so much ire to the Courier when it really was the case of it could’ve been anyone. Anyone could have delivered that package but they did and so he focused the blame on them and it destroys what he is trying to instill in the courier on a fundamental level.
#like yeah the courier delivered the package but in the end that’s a job#any random courier could’ve delivered it especially since we know in the past the factions were farther apart and this travel was a smidge#safer but courier six got it and this Ulysses blamed them#like I don’t care much for Ulysses because I think lonesome road embodies don’t shoot the messenger at it core#and what people focus on doesn’t focus on the fact that in the bigger picture#everything went wrong because two factions were at war and at some point the codes would have been delivered#and the divide destroyed cause with how close it is to NCR territory it would of been found#like there is an inevitable and too many people treat Ulysses as if he knows more or is more aware of the idiosyncrasies of conflict#when he’s like fundamentally flawed just at the standard of being a legion apologist STILL and just how focused he is on one persons#involvement cause yeah choices matter even the small one but I think Veronica’s quest says it best with a line from the courier#you can’t control what they do#like the courier couldn’t and can’t control what they deliver and yet it’s got them in hot water multiple times#like do you think they enjoy being shot or knowing they are indirectly responsible for activating the annihilation of a community#to me it’s hypocrisy to be willing to end the world or one world to prove a point and whatever argument made that only military factions#suffer forget there are innocent civilians suffering that had no part and Ulysses is no better than the Courier#I don’t like devils advocate and a lot of the dlc just feels like that but idk I know people love it but the depth is just not there for mr#ulysses fnv#fallout#fallout new vegas#courier six#the courier#lonesome road#the courier has very little personality outside what we give them but some lines and delivery paint a picture#like uhhhh undertale deltarune rules ig
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do you ever think about how Ohkubo extremely casually dropped the fact that Spirit & Kami were teen parents & then proceeded to never expound upon that fact or bring it up ever again despite it explaining a whole lot about them & Maka
#I think a big part of why I'm so attached to/interested in spirit as a character is because he objectively has A LOT going on in his life.#but because he was created to fill that stock pervy comedic-relief anime side-character archetype we never get to see any of it examined.#or even brought up at all for the most part#like spirit apparently comes from a long line of death weapons who despite having been loyal to lord death for generations are never ever#mentioned & who spirit himself never mentions despite carrying on the family tradition (although he's not unique in that regard tbh)#at 12-13 years old he becomes stein's weapon partner & in his own words it became “[spirit's] job to control [stein].”#another kid with a laundry list of mental health & behavioral issues that spirit probably wasn't super prepared to help “control”#(personally I think that this “job” of spirit's was a duty he took upon himself rather than something lord death necessarily told him to do)#then just ~5 years later he 1) loses/rejects said weapon partner & probably best friend after some really major boundaries were crossed#2) becomes a husband & father at just 18#(& in his own words a broke 18 year old at that. another point towards him not being in contact with any family if they're even alive)#3) becomes technically one of the most important people in the world once he ascends to being a death weapon.#not necessarily in that exact order but certainly in quick succession.#& then we fast forward to canon & spirit's at best a guy who drinks way more than he probably should & at worst a functioning alcoholic#who's only A MONTH into being divorced for his habitual infidelity & is in the really weird position of being the primary caretaker of his#daughter who (rightfully) hates him despite him having zero custodial rights over her.#& imo he seems to have no friends in death city before stein & the other death scythes return despite generally being a people person.#like. spirit is kind of the epitome of should've been at the club lmao#soul eater#spirit albarn#kami albarn#meta (kind of. not really lol)
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I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants
#adhd#not art#like this only thing I could think about was how understimulated I was#every person was boring because I was in such a severe and chronic state of dopamine deficiency#so I wasn't interested or curious about ANYONE and nobody could 'satiate me' and I deemed everyone boring because of it#then the first week on my meds & I went to visit my neighbor#& I was like 'omg your granddaughter came to visit this weekend? how was she? :)'#and then after I went home and I was like wow she's so sweet and her life seems so interesting I cant wait to talk more about it#and then it hit me I had known her for YEARS and it wasn't until now that I.. cared :(#made me feel really bad but also glad that I actually have the capacity to care and it wasn't just my personality#I had to do a lot of damage control :T but some bridges were burned and I gotta live with that#now I can proudly proclaim that no im not a narcissist bc I think people are interesting and I wanna hear them talk#i can just sit and listen and internalizing their perspective ..#for once I like people and I'm not a victim in some imaginary fight for mediocrity with everyone else#it never excited and im happy to feel that way#also whenever I speak with unmedicated adhders I just look at them like wow you don't even know how much your brain is making itself suffer#every adhder may not want to or can take meds and that's fine but everyone at least deserves to know what it feels when they work
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who do you think fucked up worse…gehrman or maria?
This is an interesting question, and I kind of didn't think of it before! Time to take a closer look at their crimes I guess. Some of these will be held on the possibilities and 'safe assumptions' though and addressed for the full picture!
1) Both were involved in Fishing Hamlet massacre!
With Maria, we can conclude as much because she discarded her weapons in the well at the place specifically. Her version in the Nightmare realm, a Hunter again, is supposed to be what punishes her, and she is focused on keeping Kos/OoK away from rummaging through. Considering the nature of the Nightmare, as well as the Doll who has spiritual connection with her, it should come from her guilt and regrets rather than.. I dunno, discarding the hunt over natural 'character development' and just picking a cool place to forsaken her past!
Gehrman sleeps better according to the dialogue Doll has after you kill OoK and free it's soul, so if it tortured him so, I think it is safe to say he had to be personally involved too rather than stay back while his students did the job:
They both were involved with Byrgenwerth, following their quest for obtaining the eyes of the dwellers from their skulls, and I suppose cord of OoK?
The thing about this point is that the description is written as though it was Gehrman's curiosity which ruined Maria's "idealisation" of him, or WOULD ruin it had she learned of it! This makes me wonder whether she was really involved in Byrgenwerth all that much, or whether she was aware of the real purpose of Fishing Hamlet massacre beforehand? Her goal, within the Nightmare, is stated to mercy-kill us so we don't allow that curiousity corrupt us to the point of "rummaging through corpse" and similar things, further supported by her visceral attack being an embrace if it is lethal!
I am just saying that here the balance might slightly shift towards making Gehrman 'worse' than her. Maybe she was not aware that it all was not just killing "monsters" but also a pregnant mother with her divine baby, but "well you didn't ask :/". Maybe Gehrman deceived her to use her aid. Maybe he didn't think it would be a big deal for her seeing that Maria was also interested in evolution through talking with Great Ones, and assumed she'd be just as callous about which means to accomplish the goals with?
2) Both were grave-robbing, or at least okay with that!
This one is a little less obvious, but Tomb Prospectors were not the first to go to the Chalice Dungeons! ...It were actually Willem, Dores and Gatekeeper lol:
BUT ALSO it were Old Hunters! We can see the remnants of it by Old Hunter Vitus being one the summons in Chalice Dungeons, hear Gehrman encourage us to go into the Chalice Dungeons to become stronger as via "tradition" of the Old Hunters,
and the fact that one of the things that torture Maria (again, remember that Nightmare Realm is Hell that punishes) is a Chalice:
(A video ( x ) for a better look at the Chalice from a figure)
I'd say that it is not very nice to disturb the undead Pthumerians just struggling in remains of their civilisation! Interesting thing: we can conclude they are even staying there to protect the Great Ones or their remains!
There has been some sort of civil war between ancient great-ones-respecting Pthumerians and who late became Cainhurst nobles! Maria, ironically, fell onto the side of "entitled guys" descendants! But yes, I could see why bullying zombie guys to get more history and archeology relics from them might not seem like much for her at start. Experience in the Fishing Hamlet likely retroactively ruined this period of her life for her: delving into Chalice Dungeons was likewise 'not leaving the corpse alone'. The remaining Pthumerians were right having some honour and dignity. So, that came to haunt her in the form of Pthumeru Chalice. Gehrman is.. well he's here too I guess dfshfdhs
3) Both knew a little too much about Laurence's shady business and did nothing?
Old Hunters used to be friends with Healing Church's Hunters and even had their workshops located close to one another! Gehrman was friends with Laurence and Ludwig, who are both quite strongly involved with Moon Presence (Ludwig's sword and guidance, Laurence's affiliation being known since Byrgenwerth times), as well as the key figure in creation of Hunter's Dream:
This was most likely a bait-and-switch, seeing how the cord itself is still in the real Workshop, and not in the grasp of Moon Presence (unlike, say, Wet Nurse taking Mergo's cord)! I think the purpose of creation of the Hunter's Dream was to "buy time" for the research conceived by the scientists! Remember: Gehrman was known to have "madness of curiosity" that Maria resented, or at least would resent had she known! He might have been fully aware of what Laurence wanted to do and support it! My point here, that with such proximity, he must have known of all Laurence's crimes and agreed with them!
Maria was at least overseer of the Clocktower's Research Hall, which, again, was just beta!Choir.
This last line IS a bit confusing, because it makes it sound as though the nerds looking for the Eyes Inside and the Blood Ministers got split. Laurence and Ludwig make it weird, as Moon Presence is also an Eldrich creature and Ludwig is for sure full of eyes! What also makes it strange is that Choir, and then School of Mensis, are both upper echelons of the Healing Church, but Laurence is supposed to be above both of them.
I think this can be worked with! Let's say what if Choir formed after Laurence's death, which also happened after Maria's death, and Vicars after him were somewhat "powerless" and walked over by Choir and Mensis, only leaders in the name! But that still leaves the bit that the mentioned "division" happened after Choir was formed! Maria and Adeline, however, are locked to the existence of the Research Hall, so, the timeframe when doctors and blood ministers were 100% working together! We find the Eye Pendant that opens the access to the Research Hall in Laurence's hand, and human Skull of Laurence on the platform that hides the secret elevator to that Research Hall. Again, by the Nightmare Logic, they must be connected with Laurence's sins: he started this research, or sponsored it, or was overseeing it, and so on.
This point is not an absolute thing though, because one or both of them might be freed from guilt here. Maybe Gehrman was not as informed and agreeable as we could assume and Laurence did lead him around? Maybe Maria wanted but could not do anything being caught in the web of complicated connections, blackmail and risks for the people she cared about?
4) Both are willingly involved in questionable practices (Maria with research, Gehrman with the cycle of Dream and Hunt)
This point I feel like transcends the morality a little bit, as it touches the matter of 'it is bad if you do it, but it is also bad if you DON'T do it'. I really love Soulsborne universes for having guts to say "you can't win, just pick your poison", but I think it is still worth addressing!
It is up to interpretation in which quantity Maria is involved with the Research Hall! Nothing states whether she founded it, joined in the research later, stepped in and turned the tides (ba dum tss) of the research, or simply was a caretaker/nurse/etc of the broken mess while Research Hall was getting ready for a bit of rebranding. She can be very guilty, or she can be barely guilty but in either case if that was her "redemption arc" that was a pretty bad way to go about it. ...or was it?
Fauxsefka turns people into Celestial Emissaries so they physically can't become beasts instead, and is even stated to be a hero / heroic researcher by Miyazaki:
First, I don't do Death of the Author (in terms of interpreting media I mean, not in terms of a style of writing)! Like, nope. Never. It is just not for me. Creator's word is the final for me; Fauxsefka is the good guy in the story, apparently, and it makes sense considering the fundamentally broken place characters are in! Maria has similarities with Fauxsefka: not only both of them have Cainhurst roots, but also both of them seem to favour 'Stars' line of evolution for humans!
Whereas other patients are afraid of the horrors of the Deep Sea, a concept Miyazaki could not get over well into DS3, Adeline desires them! Other patients seems to have gotten it right, and you can see one of them also clings to Maria mentally to "not drown"; Adeline "didn't understand"! The balcony that Maria wants Adeline to go to so she can forsaken the Deep Sea and seek something "happier" holds unique kind of patients who can shoot cosmic arcane spells:
Herself, Maria is associated with these lumenflowers: their petals are all over her boss arena, and the way to her lays through a much bigger batch of flowers, where Living Failures, other 'Stars' Kin are, whose song lyrics also feature lines 'ave stellar' and 'ave Maria'!
So, how this is different from what Fauxsefka is doing, who is stated to be as much of a good person as possible within this context and with the burden of her knowledge? Fauxsefka was doing more or less rinse-and-repeat practice, with maybe a few patients not surviving the procedure but we don't know what happened: maybe that person was already at the brink of death and she tried to make them live like this.
^ This guy I mean. Maria, on the other hand, is in the time period where the doctors and scientists were only testing the waters (BA DUM TSSS) (ok I will stop) and it was not SO certain what was at the stake, what were the alternatives, what was awaiting the humanity. It is even possible that the beasts problem was not yet bad to the point of "you'll either become a beast, be eaten by a beast or become a Kin, humanity is DONE for!" ! This was an unethical research at the cost of real people! The weight of Maria's sin here really depends on the interpretation, though
As for the cycle of Dream and Hunt, this is complicated and lingers on one's interpretation of what the purpose of the Dream even IS! Its existence provides two things: 1) a hunter who is immortal for the night, thus can sustain the beasts with efficiency like no other, but also effect the continuity of the night ( x ) and 2) supposed sustenance to the Great One Flora of the Moon, who holds the hunt as a concept!
I used to be a bit more set on the idea that if beasts are not sustained and hunted, they will simply overpower those who are yet humans and eat them! It is a self-feeding cycle of people needing to self-defend from beasts, thus having to consume the blood as urgent means of healing and power-up since beasts are too strong, thus risking to become beasts themselves because the blood they consumed during that hunt corrupts them. So, the Hunter's Dream would be a good thing, as it'd help to 'buy time' during nights of the hunt in which not only beasts are more active but Great Ones too! While the Dreaming Hunter holds everything together, the greatest minds of the Healing Church can efficiently study the ways to end beasthood, or ANY problem of humanity, once and for all! It is just better to throw the hunting resources on the Dream, so the scientists don't worry about the beasts and can focus on research. However, I almost forgot that:
This implies that had there not been Mensis Ritual ongoing, people WOULD have the chance to simply 'wait away' the beasthood problem. That, since Rom is not stopping Mensis Ritual but just conceals it, what really makes the inner beast within everyone who consumed the blood inevitably come out is Mergo's cry that draws the Bloodmoon close!
So yeah, the point about Hunter's Dream being helpful for the research of evolution still stands, especially under assumption that the deal with Moon Presence helped to bring more Eldrich Arcane close for "feeding" her. The point about how if the beasts are not hunted they'll simply eat everyone, though, is vague. It is safer to assume that the Hunter's Dream and Research Hall both are both example of hubris of man even if approached differently. Attempts to draw in something dangerous and horrifying, but it is "justified risk" because if you manage to 'tame' arcane/blood, sure, humanity will prosper!
Like... yeah, sure, there IS dangerous and undesireable nature of man that ruins everything and might or might not still linger in humanoids' genes after Loran. But did humanity ASK any of you guys to keep trying to fix it with so many victims and sacrifices? Like, was it WORTH it?
This point is closely tied to 'knowing Laurence's bad antics and doing nothing', yeah. Maria didn't seem to like blood ministration very much, as she disapproved of Adeline becoming a Blood Saint, but she also didn't even approve of blood antics of her own clan! I am not sure what would be her opinion on the Hunter's Dream had she lived to the point when it was created, just that she herself is not willing to ever hunt, so I am leaving this point aside. Is this just blood ministration that she opposes but proximity with a Great One Moon Presence would be something she can see the potential of? Or would she and Gehrman have a pointless cat fight about whose methods are better when they are both hubris of man? In both versions they are 'guilty'! Besides:
In the end none of THIS matters either and everyone was fooled ( x ). The blood offering is a blood offering in any way; whether it is through spilling blood violently during the hunt, or offering the blood's 'red' with how celestial Kin all bleed red. Moon doesn't care what paints it red, in the end.
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My conclusion is: both of these characters fucked up almost equally! I think the balance shifts just a little bit and Maria is slightly better than Gehrman since she had some limitations set on how far she was willing to go. Her motivation was not in "curiosity" but strictly in helping humanity, even if in unfair ways, which is apparently not the case for Gehrman?
I'll say this though, NOW I am hooked on the idea of Maria and Gehrman being petty "rivals" ideologically (for as long as they could before Maria's own demons caught up with her). Especially since neither approach is better than the other and they are both cringe loosers! Again, lost comedy gold over Fromsoft making Gehrman's tender and warm feelings for her before and after her death plain. What is not lost, however, is the fact that the two should just kick Laurence and go home :pensive:
#bloodborne#lady maria of the astral clocktower#gehrman the first hunter#again: blaming laurence is a solid strategy#honorable mention: even more of maria's blame might be lifted depending on how strong gehrman's influence was on her#we don't know when he started training her. maybe it was since very young age? so a lot of her actions as a hunter were unwise#again it depends because as of now she is a grown thinking woman and could have processed it BEFORE pregnant mother got killed-#-and her child stolen!#so I am on 'maria's agency' side here!#I think it is more like gehrman FEELS as though he 'ruined' her with the hunt#like you know how sometimes when we feel guilty we become illusioned about how much impact we had on another person's actions and feelings#we need to be TOLD that it was that person's choices in the end because we might feel like we 'controlled' them#and of course his guilt would be amplified and impossible to reason with considering she took her own life!#(as far as we can assume)#ask replies#bloodborne observation#bloodborne headcanons#analysis
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can never wrap my head around how kevin and riko managed to play on three teams (EAU ravens, baltimore wildcats and US court) whilst also following the 16 hour ravens schedule AND going to classes. cause the way the 16 hour days work means ‘night-time’ in the nest would not be aligned with real night time so what are they supposed to do when the schedule says they should be sleeping but they’re actually supposed to be at practice in baltimore (and they have to travel to baltimore from west virginia?? i have no idea how long that would take but they’d have to cross state lines for that so??) or the schedule says they should be doing whatever but they’re actually supposed to be playing a game for court. like when the hell are they sleeping?? eating??
i feel suspension of belief is required but ultimately it shows how tetsuji really was not setting the two of them up for a long and successful career - it seems he mostly wanted to set himself up for success. cause once kevin and riko went pro they’d have started to burn out and crash, and tetsuji would have been able to spin it so that their success seems dependent on him. like, look what they were achieving when i was the one coaching them, they managed three teams and college and were still the best in the country. without me, they’re nothing.
i’m not gonna talk about how tetsuji’s mentality mirrors the mentality of late stage capitalism but i could i really could but i won’t
it would end up with their early success reflecting well on tetsuji, and their later failures reflecting badly on themselves. and since i’m assuming there was no agreement that tetsuji would take any of their earnings post-ravens, tetsuji would no longer benefit from their success after they graduate, beyond how their reputations and the reputation of the ravens reflects on him. and if he can spin it that it was the him that gave them their success, more people - exy players, the media etc - will vie for his attention, endorsing him financially and applying to the ravens, becoming more willing to abide by his control in an attempt to reach the success kevin and riko did during their time with tetsuji.
personally though i don’t think this operation would last, because there’s only so many star players that tetsuji can create, and if they all wash up less than five years after graduation eventually people are gonna become suspicious
#personally i headcannon that the baltimore wildcats are also fronts for the moriyamas#owned by tetsuji i mean#if they were to operate on 16 hour days then it would be a lot more believable that kevin and riko could fit their practices#into the raven schedule#and tetsuji having a pro team under his control also makes more sense bc pro teams are gonna bring in a lot more money#plus if tetsuji had a pro team under his belt he could ensure most ravens end up there#which would limit the fallout caused by graduates leaving the nest#which would be why the ravens that graduated didn’t have the same reaction to losing the nest as the ravens in tsc do#aftg#kevin day#riko moriyama#tetsuji moriyama#the perfect court#all for the game
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sanism is the fucking worst and its still so normalized even in accepting online spaces . hey man quick question why do you advocate for disabled rights and are able to understand that stereotypes of disabled people are inaccurate but then turn around and call someone you dont like a narcissist
#finn txt#sanism#ableism#it makes me soooooo mad and it feels like no one talks abt it#ig i sympathize more as a borderline bc a lot of my thoughts and feelings were objectively cruel and selfish#but they came out of a place of hurt and were never in my control. the continued villianization of ppl with disorders like this is so awful
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