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singsweetmelodies · 10 months ago

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a little while ago, i got this ask asking me if i could make some sort of introduction to the pierre/charles ship and all its lore. and since they are, without question, my f1 rpf OTP, my answer was oh my god yes of course. it's taken me a little while to compile all that lore - because boy, is there a lot - but it's been one of the happiest research projects of my life, without question. and i think it's finally ready to go!! so, with no further ado...

ABOUT PIARLES: a (not-so-brief) introduction to f1 rpf's french friends to lovers ship

so the first thing you need to know about piarles is that they're childhood best friends. not that uncommon in a sport like f1, to be fair - most of the drivers grew up together, racing against each other in karting. but pierre and charles are a little different in that they aren't just karting acquaintances: the two of them (and their entire families) are genuinely good friends.

in fact, if you ask either pierre or charles about the other (and interviewers often do) one of the first things they'll probably say is "we've known each other for a long time," quickly followed by "we used to go on holiday together when we were kids." and they ALWAYS say this with the fondest expressions 🥰 even if you take shipping completely out of the equation, it's clear that these two have a very long-standing and very close friendship, with many fond memories which both of them seem to treasure very much.

in charles' own words:

"Pierre! We know each other since... a long, long time. We used to go on holidays together when we were children with our parents, and uh... we did quite a bit of mess together when we were children, but (laughs) very good memories. And the relationship never really changed throughout the years, even though we have taken different paths, because he was a bit older, so we weren't always in the same categories. But we would always call each other, text each other, go on holidays together... and yeah, I just have so many memories." (source - watch from timestamp 2:06)

pierre tells a very similar story:

"He's definitely one of my best friends. Charles is a very nice person and an incredible driver. We met when we were 9 years old and created a very strong bond. Our parents are very close, and we went on vacations from when we were 10, so we created lots of memories. We were teammates in karting when we were 12, and today we find ourselves in Formula 1. It's a pretty incredible story. But for me the most important part is to see the person he's become, and he hasn't changed since he was young." (source)

i think it's important to note that these aren't the only times pierre and charles have spoken about each other in glowing terms like this - no, it happens quite frequently. pretty much every time they're asked about each other, tbh. (i'm not going to add quotes from every single time here, though, because we would be here for the rest of the month if i tried. 😅) the point is, piarles are pretty damn close, and think very highly of each other.

but it's not just them that are close: like i mentioned in the first paragraphs of this post, their families are close, too. they really are childhood friends in that "your family is practically my second family" sense, which i think is something really special.

here, for example, is pierre's father jean-jacques talking about charles:

Charles is part of the family. We've known him since he was nine and when he started in karting with Pierre. (...) When the races were in England Charles was sleeping at our place, and when the races were in Italy, Pierre was sleeping at Charles's place. Then Pierre moved to F4. I don't think there have ever been a big rivalry between them even though their careers were similar. Charles is part of the family probably even more since Hervé passed away. Our door will always be open for him and he knows.” (source)

🥹

what's more, charles has also said numerous times that it's hard to maintain true friendships in f1 - but his bond with pierre is one of those rare exceptions:

It’s rare I think, it’s very rare to have a sincere friendship in F1, because there’s a lot of competition. So yes there’s friendship, but it’s not always entirely sincere - but with Pierre it really is, and it has always been. (source)

they're friends. they really are friends, not just friendly coworkers, like many of the other f1 drivers are. pierre and charles genuinely like and appreciate each other's company very much - which, even if you put shipping completely aside, is just such a wonderful thing, and always makes me smile so much.

one of my personal favourite moments was when pierre talked about charles on the beyond the grid podcast in 2023:

"That's why I really like these chats that I can have with Charles, because I know with Charles, discussing about both our lives, we won't judge each other... because we know what it's like and we just speak very openly about various things. And I know it's almost like a happy place or a comfortable place where you really feel you can open up. He'll understand, I'll understand him..." (source - listen from timestamp 32:01)

if that doesn't make your heart melt at least a little bit, then i don't know what to say to you.

... no, actually, i do. if this kind of sentimentality won't do it for you, how about a bit of silliness and humour?

that's right. like any good childhood friends, pierre and charles also have an embarrassing nickname for each other: "calamar," which is french for "squid." (we know that they call each other that courtesy of charles' insta).

what on earth is the origin of this nickname, you may be wondering? well, according to pierre...

"It goes back to a long time ago when we were kids, like... nine, ten years old. We would go on holidays together and spend more time. I don't know. It just came, like one day we decided to call each other calamar, which is not really such a beautiful nickname, but yeah it was just for fun. We were kids and we were laughing. And actually, we have many other nicknames because we were teammates also in karting and we spent a lot, a lot of time together. So, a lot of nicknames came alongside all this time. And this kind of stayed with us." (source)

as pierre said in this quote, "calamar" is not even the only nickname they have - pierre sometimes calls charles "charlito" and also "charlo," while charles calls pierre "mon petit."

and as if that's not enough, they're also that pair of boyfriends friends who always have to bring each other up in conversation. if there's ever an interview question along the lines of "which f1 driver would you...." then you can pretty much bet pierre will answer "charles," and charles will answer "pierre."

for example, here is pierre choosing charles as the one f1 driver he'd take for a drink. and here is charles naming pierre as his best friend in the paddock. oh, and here is pierre saying he'd choose charles as one driver to take with him to a desert island. there's more, but i think you get the idea 😆❤️

so yeah! that's a quick(ish) overview of the background/context of piarles - AKA the french (yes, i know charles is monégasque, but he SPEAKS french) friends/boyfriends on the grid.

(if you'd like to know more details about their friendship, especially about their pre-f1 years, then i recommend this post and its follow-up compiled by the incredible @vegasgrandprix. these posts really are a treasure trove for piarles history & lore!)

but now that i've painted a pretty clear picture of their friendship, let's move on to some more shippy moments, shall we? the "lovers" part of friends to lovers <3333

believe it or not, eveything up till now was just the background information about piarles. it's more than enough to build an OTP on already, i'd say - but wait, there's more!

the thing with pierre and charles is that along with being friends, they are also french (or....french-adjacent. close enough) which means that they have absolutely zero problem with being very openly affectionate with each other.

this has given us some very delicious shipping moments, which i will now try and give an overview of. (my fellow piarlies: if i've left out one of your favourite moments, please forgive me - they have so many moments with each other, and tumblr has a post character limit, so there was just no way for me to include everything, much as i wanted to. but i do think this is a good introduction!)

let's start with perhaps the most iconic piarles moment of them all: monza 2020, aka pierre gasly's first win in f1.

that was a crazy, wonderful day in so many ways - first of all, the race itself was insane. pierre started 10th on the grid, and with a lot of luck + a safety car that really worked out for him, ended up leading the race and defended from carlos sainz with DRS to get his maiden win. this was almost exactly a year after he'd been dropped from red bull, so the win was pretty much the biggest fuck-you to everyone @ RBR and comeback moment for pierre that was possible. it was also a dream come true (every f1 driver dreams about winning a race!) and you only need to look at any interview pierre did afterwards to see how much it meant to him.

what makes it even more insane, though, is that charles was right there to congratulate him and watch his podium. keep in mind that, in the same race, charles crashed out - both ferraris did, in monza of all places. i don't think anyone would've been surprised, or held it against him at all, if charles just kept his head down for the rest of that day.

but no. even though he wasn't medically cleared after the crash yet (!!) charles went to parc fermé anyway to congratulate pierre. remember that thing i said about them being french and very open with affection? well:

here are some pictures of the monza piarles congratulations hug. (am i the only one who thinks it looks like charles wants to kiss pierre in that second pic?! god....) here and here are some more angles of the hug to go insane over, if you like.

you can also watch it in video format here - and yes, charles really did pull pierre out of his hug with romain so that he could congratulate him himself. i know. (also, yes, pierre does pat charles' ass just before they go their separate ways. what can i say? french.)

as if that's not already insane enough, charles also stayed to watch pierre's podium despite not being medically cleared yet after his crash. (we have to thank netflix FOREVER for providing us with that specific behind-the-scenes shot 🙏 drive to survive - you did well that time, you really did.)

and afterwards, charles said:

It was just a dream for one of us to get into F1 one day. In the end we’re both in F1, we’ve both won a GP, both of us in Monza. (...) I was really happy that day, even if my race went wrong, his win made it a good day. (source)

your honour. who says that about another driver's win, especially on a day where you yourself had an awful race? if that's not love in a sport like f1, i don't know what is!

i really could talk about monza 2020 and how much it means for a very long time, but i will rein myself in to just one final comment: isn't it rather beautiful to think that pierre & charles' names will always be next to each other in the monza winners list? charles won there in 2019, and then pierre won there in 2020. talk about soulmatism ❤️💙

now, moving on to another absolutely iconic (and delightfully gay) piarles moment: baku 2021, aka that time pierre and charles had an awesome last-lap battle for the P3 podium spot.

it was very close racing, with them swapping positions several times down the straight - but they kept it clean. in fact, they kept it so clean that someone remarked it's like they know each other by heart. yup. totally a normal thing to say about two men racing.

equally normal was charles' comments after the race:

"The last lap was my favourite part of the race. It was crazy and had a lot of actions. With Pierre it was hot. I'm happy for him for his podium." (source)

and as if that's not enough, he also GRABBED pierre into a hug in parc fermé, and then held him incredibly close while congratulating him.

you can watch this hug in video format here and gif format here, if you want - and i really recommend doing so, because it's insane to see how charles quite literally crashes into pierre's personal space and yanks him into a hug. (here is a close-up of their helmets during said hug - and you can just say it with me. GAY.)

that's still not all, though: charles congratulated pierre twice after the race. once on the outlap (with a thumbs-up and a middle finger as pierre's car drove past his, LMAO) and then on social media as well (with a nickname and a kiss emoji).

he ALSO commented on pierre's instagram post about the race with another kiss emoji:

so, apparently, charles was thinking about kissing pierre quite a lot in baku 2021. 🤭 an iconic day all around!

and as it happens, 2021 brought us another iconic piarles moment - though this one is a whole less happy. i'm talking about styria 2021, aka that time pierre and charles had contact in a race, and pierre had to retire from that grand prix.

here is the official f1 news article about the incident - the long and the short of it is that charles misjudged on lap 1 and crashed into the side of pierre's car, ending pierre's race. naturally, pierre was furious and upset, especially because the alphatauri was actually a good car in 2021, and he'd stood to score really good points that sunday.

now, for most f1 girlies, an incident like this between childhood friends immediately brings up vivid brocedes flashbacks. and, to be honest, it wouldn't have been that much of a surprise if this had indeed soured pierre and charles' friendship - we saw exactly this happen with pierre and esteban, after all.

but no. charles went to see pierre post-race to clear the air between them, and although pierre was furious with him, he didn't let it ruin their friendship. in fact, when he was asked how the incident affected their friendship, pierre had the following to say:

"Yeah... I was really sad to end 15 years of friendship. He is no more my friend (laughs). No, no, it's... honestly, it was really painful, you know, you work so hard the whole weekend for Sunday to score points, and then after literally like 20 seconds, the whole race was over. So, quite a difficult one to swallow, but, you know, we know each other, with Charles, we have a lot of respect for each other. He came to see me after the race - I was still pretty pissed off with him, but, uh, we knew before last Sunday, nothing ever happened between us on the race-track, and we knew one day it would happen. Unfortunately I paid the price more than him, but yeah, it's racing, unfortunately. (...) It's painful, it's racing, it happens sometimes - I just told him to make sure it doesn't happen another time, and... we're fine." (source - watch from 17:01)

i think that styria 2021 is vital piarles lore not because it's a fun shippy moment, but rather because it shows the strength of their connection. an incident like this could easily have destroyed their friendship, but they didn't let it. they mean enough to each other that they let what happens on-track stay on-track and not affect their closeness off-track. and that, i think, is something truly special - they were tested in a way which has destroyed f1 friendships before, and yet they still came out stronger.

iconic indeed.

on a happier note again, now, there is also montreal 2022, which many piarles fans consider one of THE seminal piarles moments. the race itself was not so memorable for our boys this time, but what they did off-track is.

that is to say: pierre and charles went on a dinner date. then, they were spotted driving around the streets of montreal in a white ferrari. and THEN, as if that's not mind-blowing enough already... charles posted, to his public instagram story, a video of pierre wearing his charles-leclerc-16 branded ferrari hat.

these screenshots are peanut quality, i'm sorry, lmao... but all of montreal 2022 feels a bit like a fever dream in the best way, so i think the blurriness just captures the vibes, tbh.

we're not quite done with montreal 2022 yet, though - earlier on the same day, charles also had a very sweet hello with pierre's parents. you can just SEE how much pierre's parents love charles, and isn't that just the most heartwarming thing 😭❤️

now, one final thing about montreal 2022: pierre never posted his infamous photo dump after that race. that might not seem particularly important, but... this is the only race of 2022 for which pierre DIDN'T post a photo dump.

there are a thousand and one theories about why he didn't - maybe he just forgot, maybe he had a busy weekend, maybe he didn't have any photos he wanted to share. or, in a more shippy interpretation... maybe he does have photos, especially photos of charles, but he doesn't want to share them/wants to keep them all to himself. we don't know!

one lucky piarlie got to meet pierre in london in 2022 at an alphatauri event, and actually asked him about the montreal photo dump thing. here is what he said (courtesy of the lovely @they-call-it-traffic 💞)

the descriptions there... you can just picture pierre's expressions & smirks SO perfectly, right? he is insane. they are insane. #investigatemontreal !!

anyways. moving on one year again: 2023 brought us pierre and charles' basketball date:

as well as two tennis dates:

(i call them "dates" because pierre and charles spent a significant time together during them, hanging out & enjoying each other's company and looking at each other with major heart-eyes. obviously, irl, they aren't officially dates - in fact, both pierre and charles had their irl girlfriends along with them when they attended wimbledon. but who cares too much about irl -- this is a rpf post 😉)

i'm not going to spend too long explaining the lore behind these, because i'm already flirting with the tumblr post character limit 🙈 but basically, what happened is that on all 3 these occasions, pierre and charles chose to hang out together at events completely unrelated to f1, simply because they are friends and like each other's company. (that, to me, is always a measure of how much f1 drivers actually like each other - whether or not they choose to spend time with each other when they're not forced into proximity by f1. pierre and charles pass this test with flying colours.)

the basketball date is particularly insane, because that day was actually an event which charles, pierre and esteban attended. but you wouldn't know THAT from charles' post about it. charles fully cropped esteban out of his post - he really said "esteban who? i only spent time with my friend pierre 😌" and he said it with his whole chest.

ALSO, while we're on the subject of the basketball date and social media - pierre and charles co-posted a reel about it on instagram. yes. CO-POSTED. you know, like a couple co-posting about their date.

piarles basketball date, you will always be famous!!

(P.S. - a lot of piarles fans refer to this 2023 basketball date as "basketball date 2.0" - and this is because pierre and charles have actually done this before, in 2021. i really can't talk too much about that date - character limit, my beloathed - but let me just say that pierre draping his arm round the back of charles' chair is something that lives rent free in my mind. rent free.)

another thing that lives in my mind rent-free is charles being interviewed at their first tennis date, and calling pierre his best friend <3333 love is friendship set on fire, etc etc!

... so, okay, when i said i wasn't going to talk too much about the lore behind the tennis & basketball dates, i lied a little bit. but in my defence - they were insane for these, they really were!

anyways. now, let's skip back in time a little - because i would be very remiss if i didn't include pierre and charles' 2016 joint championship celebrations.

in the year 2016, pierre was the GP2 champion and charles the GP3 champion (GP2 and GP3 are the old names for F2 and F3). in a very pretty twist of fate, they both clinched their respective titles at the same circuit, in the final race of their respective series - and then, of course, they celebrated together.

here is an adorable gifset of them celebrating together after the final GP2 race. and here are some more pictures from the official Prema photoshoot for the GP2 & GP3 champions (yes, they did a joint photoshoot together. even Prema ships it, apparently!)

actually, while we're on the subject of celebrating together: pierre and charles almost always congratulate each other for their significant achievements in f1. see: charles making a point to congratulate pierre on his podium in baku, as i discussed earlier in this post, and again in zandvoort 2023. (both times with a kiss emoji, mind you). similarly, check out pierre seeking charles out in parc fermé to congratulate him for his bahrain 2022 season-opener pole, and then congratulating him for his win twice over on social media. (and these are just a few examples out of many!)

this is one of those things that sets them apart from many other f1 rpf pairings: they both seem genuinely happy when the other does well. and like. they are COMPETITORS - but they're good enough friends that they can still celebrate each other's achievements genuinely and happily. that is insane!!

yes, sure, it's good sportsmanship to congratulate other drivers for wins/podiums - but that is usually done with a handshake in person or a copy-paste "congrats to XYZ" in the post-race interview, or something like that. one rarely gets the sense that it comes from a place of genuine, deep happiness for the other driver being congratulated.

pierre and charles are just on a whole different level. they specifically seek each other out in parc fermé, hug each other with so much enthusiasm that it looks suspiciously gay, and also post about each other's achievements very fondly on social media.

again, this is something you might see a driver do for their teammate - for example, charles congratulating "carlos and the team" for a win in singapore - but almost never with a freaking KISS EMOJI. and a pet name. and so much genuine joy.

just... yeah. they care about each other so much, and are each other's biggest supporters ❤️

it's not just in good times that they're there for each other, either: 2019 was a truly difficult year for both pierre and charles (pierre especially) but they were still there for each other when it mattered.

the prime example of this is monza 2019, which was one race after pierre's demotion from red bull, and also one race after anthoine hubert's death. because the fia has no sense of basic kindness or decency, naturally they put pierre into a press conference that very weekend.

the video of that press conference is very hard to watch - every time pierre is asked a question, you can hear how much he is struggling to hold it together. honestly, the sole good thing from this presscon is that at least pierre had charles beside him.

here is a post i made where i discuss this in a bit more detail, but essentially: charles sat as close as possible to pierre for the entirety of that conference - close enough that their shoulders were practically touching - as a non-verbal gesture of support. you can see the difference in space between charles & pierre vs all the other drivers, and there's no way that was accidental. charles might not have been able to voice his support for pierre out loud right then, but it's there in every part of his body language.

another very meaningful moment is also from 2019, when pierre went up to charles pre-race in spa:

"I told Charles before the race, please win this race for Anthoine." (source)

and charles did. 💙

then later in 2019, when pierre got his first podium in brazil, guess who was right there to hug and congratulate him? that's right.

this was another case where charles' own race fell apart - he had a crash with his teammate, in fact - but he still made a point of going to hug pierre after his P2, and going on social media to tell pierre and also the whole world that pierre deserved that podium. that's what i call supporting your best friend.

now, at this point, you might be thinking... well, pierre and charles have it all. whether you're looking for happy moments or deep emotional moments or suspiciously gay moments to fuel your shipping fire, it's all there.

and you'd be right! they do have it all. though i will say this - one of the complaints i've heard whispered around this fandom is that piarles is a fun ship, but they don't have any content videos together like teammates do. so it's harder to ship them, because you don't get to see them actually interact with each other aside from like 5-second video clips...

to that i say: well. they might not have any teammate videos together, but oh boy. as of 2023, they do have something else: the squeezie video.

i could talk about the squeezie video for MONTHS, i really could - but let me try and keep it brief. so, squeezie is this french youtuber who has this "who's the impostor?" video series in which he gets a couple of celebrities to join him on the show, plus some people from a certain profession, and then they have to guess who actually does that profession and who's the impostor.

the day that pierre and charles were guests on the show, the professions were "firefighter," "midwife," "flight attendant" and "school counselor." this resulted in absolute chaos of the best kind - ah, man, i cannot even begin to describe to you what a glorious mess it was. that video had everything from charles & pierre cradling fake babies, to charles & pierre extremely dramatically accusing each other of lying, to pierre making dirty hand gestures while charles blushes profusely, to charles & pierre play-acting being naughty schoolkids (feat. charles saying he fell asleep in class and woke up from a nightmare screaming "box box" 😭)

here are some screenshots of some of my favourite moments:

the way they LOOK at each other... GOD.

anyways! you can watch the video here. my recommendation is to watch it with the original french sound track - there is an english dub available, but it sounds incredibly strange to hear american accents coming out of pierre & charles' mouths, off-sync with what they're actually saying. it's a MUCH better experience to watch in french, so you can hear what they actually said, and enjoy how they interact with each other. (english subtitles are available!) alternatively, you can find some translated highlights here, courtesy of the incredible @sedicii <3333

aside from all the still-can't-believe-they-actually-did-this-on-camera content, one of the things that makes me feel the most insane is that pierre and charles both chose to appear on this video. there was no contractual PR requirement saying they both had to participate in it, like with teammate challenges - no, they did it in their free time, because they wanted to.

i mean, sure, that video was definitely good for PR for both of them, but the point stands that they didn't have to do it, and they certainly didn't have to do it together. they CHOSE to - and what's more, they said at the end of the video that they'd do it again.

that's so central to pierre and charles, i think: they choose each other, time and time again. they freely choose to spend time with each other, because they genuinely like each other and enjoy each other's company. so much so that you will find them together at least once on almost every race weekend.

no, seriously. it's a very unusual race weekend if pierre and charles aren't spotted together at least one time. whether it's being glued to each other's sides on driver's parades, or chatting in the background of some or other interview, or just walking through the paddock together... they will find each other.

there are SO many instances where this happens that i would be here for over a month if i tried to list them all - and i'd still probably miss some. but here are some of my personal highlights!

pierre and charles finding each other pre-race in jeddah

pierre and charles chatting in the media pen in the background of one of alex's interviews

pierre and charles walking together in vegas (feat. fond smiles)

pierre and charles being baby gossip girls in 2018

more baby piarles in 2018

even more baby pierre and charles chatting in 2017

and just to round things off: most recently, pierre and charles walking together in jeddah 2024

and many, many more... including a whole bunch of moments we'll probably never know about.

that's another thing that makes me more than a little insane about these two: pierre has actually said, in so many words, that they'll never share everything about their friendship.

In the end we have the same life, we grew up together. We've done many things together, but you won't hear about all of it. (source)

all these moments that we see, that we go insane over... that's probably not even the half of what they've actually done together. and that makes me feel some type of way. if this is just the small pieces of their lives & interactions that they choose to share with the public, then just imagine what else there could be...

....buuuuut that'll start becoming a fanfic if i let myself carry on with that line of thinking too long. (can i just say one thing about that, though? the piarles fanfic community is absolutely INCREDIBLE. such talented writers, such wonderful people... just, chef's kiss all around!!) but, yeah! i think this post has gone on for more than long enough now, haha.

so, to conclude: pierre and charles really are the epitome of a friends to lovers ship: they get along famously, they genuinely seem to love each other's company and are always laughing together - and they can very often be found giving each other the heart-eyes/looking at each other like they're in love. if it's warmth, joy and friends to lovers feels that you're after, then look no further <3333

thank you so much for reading! and i do hope that after all this, you're at least a little bit in love with piarles, too ❤️

#piarles #pierre/charles #10 x 16 #1016 #❤️💙#otp of all otps!#and this is why ❤️#.... this is SO long oh my word #i... am so sorry?#but also not sorry at all #i am completely insane about them <3 #and i always will be!!

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faejilly · 10 days ago

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@rebelren requested the deeply complimentary if slightly broad "I WANT TO KNOW ALL YOUR RICKY/ESTHER THOUGHTS" and I have so many thoughts

let's see where I ramble, huh? There is no plan here? This is mostly just season 1 stuff because that's where I am in my very slow attempt at fic writing.

They very much have a Lois and Clark vibe to me and that is one of my foundational OTPs, so.

She's too smart and sharp for almost everyone else she's ever met but that is in fact what he likes about her. He's deeply impossibly committed to actually being nice and kind and doing the right thing ALL THE TIME without any ability to tell how that's even more unusual than his superpowers absurd good looks and physical abilities and she recognizes that about him.

Ricky is not subtle about his crush on Esther, but he is completely respectful about it. He texts her whenever he has a thought, but that's because he wants her thoughts back, not because he's trying to make her think about him, if that makes sense?

I spent most of the first campaign being very 'she likes him back?' but not sure if I really thought that based on anything she was doing, or I thought that was how the story was being built/structured and it was just gonna... happen. And I was honestly fine with that because Brennan and Zac have such good chemistry, plus the aforementioned respect in approaching the relationship, so I was just gonna take what I got and be happy about it.

BUT on a rewatch (or transcript re-read on the wiki) it becomes increasingly obvious surprisingly early that she is INCREDIBLY KEYED IN ON RICKY AT ALL TIMES and it makes me *pterodactyl screech* a lot A LOT A LOT:

See how quickly she responds to all his texts every time! In group settings even if she hasn't said anything lately she'll usually answer a Ricky-question before anyone else can! She legitimately seems to enjoy figuring out how to rephrase things she's said that were too academic for him to follow!

Like, she's not just humoring him, she is in fact interested in how his mind works and the way he feels his way around information whether or not he understands it in at all the way that she does.

Usually not, obviously, but that doesn't mean his perspective isn't valuable to her.

And also funny, sometimes entirely on purpose, which is again a Lois/Clark thing because Clark is absolutely a bit of a troll about making terrible Superman jokes for no one except himself and eventually also Lois, and Ricky and Esther give me the same "we're in this nonsense together" vibes whenever Zac managed an especially good dumb-but-hilarious-and-not-actually-stupid Ricky line.

I guess what I'm getting at there is that, even beyond the quality chemistry and adorkableness, they genuinely enjoy each other's company, yk? They like each other even when there's an invisible barrier that the audience (and Ricky) can only sort of tell is there that prevents a deeper relationship/understanding during s1.

There's a really good line in a fic, tenets of devotion by fensandmarshes: "[Ricky] took his Oath of Redemption to the world; he took Devotion to Esther, he thinks, no matter that that’s not really a thing." which is I think incredibly accurate and is a thing I am weak for, the conscious deliberate explicit choice to devote yourself to a person because they are perfect for you (even if you are completely aware of their supposed flaws and weaknesses and humanity at the same time). THEY'RE BOTH JUST SO COMMITTED Y'ALL, I'M LOVE THEM.

While I have no problem with inter-party romance and am deeply fond of battle couples and all that stuff, I do think it's important that Esther is not an active party member, and while incredibly competent at it, is not explicitly designed for combat in the same way the PCs are, because despite his skillset, Ricky is pretty damn conflict adverse personality-wise, so it's nice his partner is a research nerd and not usually a combatant.

Because Ricky never wanted a blade. He accepted the Questing Blade but he didn't choose it, it chose him. (Obviously his weapon-searching-arc in s2 makes me feral. Someday I will manage fic about it, hopefully?)

This is a recurring theme in TUC actually, that except for Cody who is definitely the other side of that coin on purpose (sorry not sorry) most of the PCs and their primary NPC friends/relatives/whatever did not go looking for magic or power, but DID accept the responsibility once it happened. (This adds a nice depth to their relationship, the fact that part of why they're careful getting together is that sense of responsibility, so I'm including it here even though it's more about the setting/campaigns rather than Ricky/Esther specifically.)

They have not even been on a date and her curse is broken and they are immediately "let's live a dangerous life together" aka they are my favorite kind of batshit, 100/10, no notes

(I mean, obviously I have a lot of notes. I have all these things I just wrote down, and a fic about the almost-year before s1, and one about the campaign itself from Esther's POV, and a thing about Ricky cataloguing all the ways he'd broken the tenets of his Paladin Devotion Oath as part of his transition to Redemption, and a thing that takes place between campaigns that is mostly smut and crying for probably obvious reasons, and a s2 epilogue mostly about the proposal, (not currently anything during s2 unlike Esther's POV for s1, but I suppose that might change if I ever figure out the stuff that takes place before it), and possibly an AU where the curse wasn't broken before the final battle so when Ricky dies, Esther falls, and an entirely different Curse Breaking Thing After That, so.

So many notes.)

#jilly answers #rebelren #tangential tuesday replies #I suppose I need a tag for that #dimension 20 #the unsleeping city #my tuc feels #should also be a tag #I may have to go back and add it #is there a #rickyesther #tag I should be using?#idek #ricky matsui #esther sinclair #d20 tuc meta #there we go #that's a nonsense tag if ever there was one

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hyperfixationhobo · 1 year ago

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✨JEALOUSY✨

One thing I do when it comes to shipping is just thinking of how possessive or jealous said characters of ship would be. It’s like fucking mandatory at this point for me so you know what that means.

ATSV JEALOUSY!!!!

Ships used in this post are my go twos Goldenpunk and Ghostflower cause they’re my OTPs. (Since I’m following the movies a bit let’s just say that Pavitr and Gayatri just has a mutual break up and are besties okay? Okay, we don’t tolerate Gayatri slander here.) No like? No read.

Ok right off the bat Hobie is definitely not the jealous type at all. Nada, zilch, nope. To me he’s just confident and knows that Pavitr isn’t gonna go run off with some random person so he doesn’t really feel the need to be jealous in the first place. But don’t get it twisted there’s a difference between jealousy and anger. Such as if Pav is getting uncomfortable in a situation where someone keeps on trying to push themselves onto him after Pav has said no. Yeah Hobie is gonna threaten the hell out of them but if it continues he’s not afraid to fight. Doesn’t matter if you’re a boy, girl, or whatever you better know sign language cause all you gonna be seeing is hands. He is very big about boundaries and doesn’t play when it comes to it as well.

I can’t really see Gwen as the jealous type. “BuT pAwS DIDNTYOUSEEHERDRAGGINGMILESAWAYFROMMARGO!!!!!!” Yes yes I know I know but this whole thing for me is happening after the whole multiverse chase Miles to the ends of the earth thing happened. So yeah she’ll feel a tad bit jealous when Miles gets flirted on by another girl (he doesn’t even notice that he’s being flirted on unless it’s really obvious let’s be honest) but it’s quickly overridden by guilt that since she betrayed Miles and really hurt him emotionally that yeah maybe he does deserve someone better than me someone that won’t hurt him so badly. Miles is quick to break that train of thought tho. The moment he sees that look on her face he’s quick to realize that he’s being flirted on and wraps his arm around Gwen’s waist and is like “This is my girlfriend Gwen by the way, you two should hang out some time, it sounds like you guys have some stuff in common.” And reassures her that no one in the entire multiverse could ever make his heart race like her.

Miles yeah he’s the jealous type. You can’t tell me this walking ray of sunflowers doesn’t have some type of tiny insecurities after that whole fucking being body slammed into a damm train thing and having someone tell you you’re a mistake thing happen to him. NO ONE CAN WALK OUT OF THAT THING WITHOUT AT LEAST A TINY BIT OF DOUBT. Also it was obvious with anytime Gwen mentioned staying over at Hobie’s during the second movie. He’s not very like obvious with it, it’s more like when he sees someone flirting with Gwen he stands closer to her and “casually” wraps his arm around around her shoulders. He’s basically the song Jealous by Nick Jonas and no one can ever convince me otherwise. He gets why people would flirt with Gwen cause who the hell wouldn’t his girlfriend is fucking amazing but dude back tf up she’s taken.

Pav……this man…this man lowkey fucking possessive. He’s not even fucking subtle about it, while Miles might glare a bit this man is is sending fucking death threats with his eyes. It’s not even from insecurity too this man managed to date Gayatri who is a fucking model and now he’s dating Hobie who was also a fucking model this man is confident as shit. It’s more along the lines that everyone just keeps on fucking staring and flirting with Hobie (and he can’t blame them have you seen his boyfriend?) and honestly it’s becoming annoying to be like “yeah MY BOYFRIEND is amazing isn’t he? I’m so glad we’re dating.” All the damm time cause cause Hobie finds it fucking hilarious when Pav is “jealous”, so he makes it clear that they’re dating from the very beginning. Anytime someone is flirting with Hobie he walks next to his boyfriend and like snatches his hand into his own very fucking obviously. There’s no way people don’t immediately catch on and back off. And we’ve seen the way he’s talked about Gayatri there’s no way he doesn’t gush and go on and on about Hobie and how his boyfriend is so hot and is in the band and can play guitar and has amazing fashion taste and such. He’ll fawn over Hobie to anyone who has ears this man doesn’t shut up.

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sketch-pencilpoint · 25 days ago

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Since interest has been shown, tugs! And their relationships. A few of the main ones for now. Warning: weird crack ships.

GOD this has been my longest Thomas and friends OTP and they aren't even from the same show. But yeah with me it's these two for the win.

- as soon as top hat saw her he knew she was gorgeous. He couldn't help but fall in love as he got to know her. She was charmed by him quickly as well.

- A lot of humans, engines, and the other tugs felt it weird that a tug and a engine were mates, but the two didn't care.

- she calls him toppy (only she can) and dear. He calls her my darling, my dear and my sweet emerald.

- top hat is very fond of grand gestures like gifts and fancy dates. She adores these, and often gives him similar dates and gifts.

- he hates James, but somehow when Emily is with him he keeps to himself. If James does start trouble Emily shuts him down. She is very proud whenever top hat can go an hour without fighting James.

Honestly this one came from no where other than my conflic on who to ship Thomas with (both were considered) and I ended up with this ship.

- Tc was very embarrassed to admit he liked Rebecca after a while of knowing her. Even with top hat and Emily together (and stardust claiming an engine as her crush) he still didn't think engine and tug were supposed to date. Rebecca just thought Tc was cute but wouldn't like her back.

- while accidental, Thomas got them together when he accidentally pushed Tc into a ditch and Rebecca got stuck trying to help. They kind of got emotional and confessed like they were not making it out alive.

- he calls her babe, Becca and big banana. She calls him tenny, love and baby.

- they love having little runs (where ten cents swims and Rebecca runs by the water) together.

- tc taught Rebecca how to swim, and while nervous she ended up having a good time. They sometimes swim together near the shore of the beach.

Basic option but it's popular for a reason (at least Herc x Lillie and Herc x Zorran but Zorran x Lillie deserves some acknowledgement)

- before Lillie came to Sodor, Herc and Zorran became quite close. If she didn't reunite with Herc when she did he would have gotten with Zorran (first).

- Lille was the one with the idea to become a poly couple. She could tell the men were pining and she also thought Zorran was a catch so she through the idea out there.

- Zorran doesn't use any pet names. Lillie calls both the others boys, Herc hunk and Zorran boss (jokingly). Herc obviously calls them both my dear

- the three rarely go on triple dates, since one is usually busy. But when they are together they like simply just being in each others company.

- Zorran is still a bit of a jerk, and definitely still argues with tc especially, but he is very sweet and melts at the touch with his partners.

Thanks for listening to my tugs talk.

#sketch's scribbles #thomas the tank engine #thomas and friends #monster engines #this is tugs #tugs ten cents #tugs top hat #tugs hercules #tugs lillie #tugs zorran #ttte emily #ttte rebecca #ttte ships #top hat x Emily #Rebecca x ten cents #hercules x lille x zorran

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splashstar01 · 3 months ago

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Love letter to Merthur (11 year anniversary🎉💐) TW: suicide, spoilers for end of the show

Okay so it's been 11 years since Merthur has been my OTP. Since they've entered my life I've literally felt like I've been in a relationship with their relationship if that makes sense. For a little while until I met my spouse, I even identified as aegosexual, which for me meant being asexual except for attraction to other people's relationships such as my OTPs.

I came into the fandom end of 2013 and became interested because they were all over my tumblr dash. I know, the show ended at the end of 2012.. I'm not sure why Tumblr had a sudden influx of merthur content. Maybe due to the slash tourney?

But I kept seeing the final end scene all over my dash and I kept seeing a ton of articles celebrating that merthur was now canon (imagine my surprise when i found so many in the fandom don't see it that way even tho it was literally confirmed……………………..).

I knew literally nothing about the show and assumed it was a serious adult show about the Arthurian legends. But I shipped them anyway due to the ending, particularly with Merlin waiting 1500 years (I didn't even realize Arthur was also waiting)!

At the time I had just got into shipping for half a year, so I was super new to all this slash stuff. My slash OTP at the time was very quickly replaced by merthur after I began watching the series bc merthur was just way more touchy-feely and had actual boyish fun around one another, not to mention waiting 1500 years for ea other! That is EPIC LOVE!!!! Their dynamic was the opposite of my previous OTP.

With merthur I got really, really into my feelings. I've literally bled for them. Rest assured, I have never cut in my entire life. it's only due to me becoming so emotional and hyperventilating in joy that I bit my fingers and bled a little bit. Like, the amount of blood i lost was akin to literally a paper cut from my teeth lol. Because I cover my mouth when I hyperventilate… I think most people cover their mouths when they do this. Lol.

But when I hyperventilate over Merthur, it is EXTREME. like, i have almost out-of-body experiences. i’ve literally cried from being so happy thinking of them having sex. One time in the shower I was thinking about them and I was so happy I nearly blacked out and fell into the shower curtains. 😂 But even when I cry over Merthur/Arthur, im still having fun. Because I know it's not real, so it’s only a pseudo-grief but its NOT psuedo-joy!!! LOL. It's kinda like going on a roller coaster. You’re screaming but you dont actually fear for your life. It’s psuedo-fear.

At the time, I was severely depressed in my non-fandom life, but Merthur never actually contributed to that hurt, because i could see the lines of reality vs real shit i had to be upset over. Merthur gave me an outlet. With merthur I felt free to cry and fall apart whilst at the same time, as I always tell my ppl, "they're not real, THANK GOODNESS!!" so I can grieve bc I'm not really crying for anyone!

At the time, I wasn’t seeing anyone for my severe depression/anxiety because I thought I could handle it and i was self-medicating with psychedelics since they've been proven to be able to heal mental health issues. LSD at parties healed my c-ptsd, since I had gone to see someone for my ADHD & ended up being diagnosed w c-ptsd! I thought it could heal my other issues too.

But then I took a 7-year break from merthur due to my attempted suicide.

My life was going so well too. I literally seemed like i had the perfect life while in college. Just landed a good-paying 1-yr temp job, I was majorly popular and partying every weekend, I had a long-term partner (we’re now married), I had a 4.7 GPA, was in 9 different school clubs. I seemed to be thriving. But I’d been battling severe anxiety/depression since I was 12.

How the fandom saved my life….. Literally.

Before I was going to do it, I had to say goodbye to the fandom bc I always felt like the merthur fandom was like my family.

I wrote a goodbye post on Tumblr that I set to queue and I had assumed it would post much later. But ig i somehow miscalculated and it posted too early. So someone managed to find my Facebook which is just insane bc blogs are essentially anonymous. I didn't post any personal info on Tumblr. It should have been impossible but they alerted my sister and I was found 45 min away.

The doctors declared me brain dead and it was this huge thing. I had to relearn to feed myself, walk, etc. It took me 6 months just to have the strength to use a walker because my leg muscles had atrophied so much. 9 months later and I was able to walk again on my own. Now it's been 7 years and I'm still physically disabled but in a much better place emotionally. After my attempt, a limelight was cast on my mental health and all a sudden i was seeing all sorts of therapists. I was medicated for the very first time, and i felt so much better. I’m no longer actively suicidal.

So….. enough about my sob story.

Merthur will most likely always be my OTP!! I did find book!Drarry 8 months ago, and boy did i go wild for them too. (Like, i stayed up 36 hours straight because i couldnt stop thinking about them and i’m the author of the Drarry Bible, a 98k doc of all the drarry book moments along with meta proving that in their universe, they are in love and soulmates lol. Drarry is such a huge ship that I was honestly so surprised that there wasnt already something similar to it!!)

But even with Drarry, I always knew Merthur was OTP!! I never once questioned that I loved Merthur more even during my Merthur hiatus. ^-^ I’m not sure why i took such a long hiatus after my suicide attempt. But I recently got back into Merthur just 6 months ago due to this video by imaginedragonlords: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4zDknYGf0s. The video reminded me of why Merthur was so amazingggggg. Like i always knew they were but ig the passion was gone after the suicide attempt. (Gone but not forgotten lol! :D)

I wont promise the passion will always be here. Like in any relationship, passion sometimes ebbs and flows (happening rn w my irl partner lol i mean, they’re great n all but they like to interrupt me when i write fanfic 😂), but I’ll always know that Merthur will never be replaced. Because at the end of the day, there will never be another love as epic and with as much chemistry as these two gayssssssss<33333 i did find another ship I love that i feel has a more healthy love for ea other than merthur and also waited a whole lifetime for one another, but they dont have AS much chemistry……………)

I love Merthur SO DAMN MUCH!!!!!! And i love my Merthur fandom. <3 I can always rely on fandom to give me my drug of choice: that MERTHUR DOPAMINE HIT!!! I’ve grieved Arthur’s death way longer & more intensely than any irl person/pet’s, & I blame the fandom for that! Each gifset or post will bring all the feelings of pseudo-grief back in full force, plus I cry EASY when it comes to fandom. I can smile a genuine smile after my grieving session is done, because thank SOURCE THEY’RE FICTIONAL!

And anyway, they’re so obviously going to end up married with so much sex once Arthur finally returns from training with the Sidhe and being granted immortality so that Albion (Merlin) won’t ever be in such crisis (losing his mind from grief) ever again.

I’ve also cried from looking at a gifset of Leon just being Leon (this one literally tagged ‘literally crying’ & i only use that tag for stuff that has me actually crying with real tears).

And he’s not even one of my fave knights!! This gifset wasn't meant to be sad either. lol. I dont know why i cried. It just be like that on Tumblr.

Back before my hiatus, I literally had a Kleeenix box next to me whenever i went on tumblr bc I’d cry over every little thing. This was bc i was bound to see some sad merthur gifset/post/etc, cry, and after i cried once, anything else made me cry……..

Even gifsets of Leon just being Leon lool. x’D I would get soooooo overly emotional.

My spouse once said, ��All you ever talk about with ur fandoms is ‘they’re so gay.’” YES. THAT IS THE MAIN POINT, WHAT ABOUT IT 😂 like im now in the Harry Potter book fandom & i literally dont give a shit about the book plotlines [I barely remember them], but i can write up a whole Bible about Drarry……. It’s PRIORITIES! I have a very 1-track mind with my ships lol.

Ok this was way longer than intended.

Tldr;

merthur (fandom) literally saved my life during my suicide attempt by alerting my family,

grieving Arthur’s death is a safe outlet bc i know he’s not real so none of my grief is real.

I dont cut, never have, never will—I just hyperventilate way too hard in fits of joy, usually crying “they’re SO GAY!!!” & bite my fingers a tad too hard on accident at times..... i get really super emotional and i love it becos that free dopamine hit is on another lvl fr lol def up there w real drugs, like my out-of-body experience sometimes xD

I feel like im dating them due to being partly aegosexual. and i love them <3 :D So my 11 yr anniversary fr feels like my 11 yr anniversary w an IRL lover lol XD

#merthur #merlin #arthur pendragon #bbc merlin #merlin bbc #anniversary #aegosexual

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seventhdoctor · 3 months ago

Note

For the character ask meme: I'm curious what you think about Asuka!

For the anon who also asked Asuka: this is for you, too!

Why I like them/why I don’t

What really sticks out to me about Asuka is how she's straightforward, but also up for crime. When I was rewatching GX proper I was struck by her intro episode where she kidnaps Shou just to get Judai to duel her. You know, a thing that Judai would have done in a heartbeat anyway if she'd just asked directly. You didn't have to threaten a student's life, Asuka, but you did it anyway.

I don't say this to make fun of Asuka. I say this to point HOW QUICKLY she jumped to kidnapping as an option. This is our model honors student, folks!

And then of course there's her standing with the red dorm and against its demolition in season 2, not to mention that half her reason for coming to DA is to investigate a "step foot here and get expelled" location. I know she gets a pass for it when Judai and Shou face expulsion and it's kinda for elitist reasons, but I also like to think she went out there knowing, what are you doing to do? Expel me for investigating the disappearance of my brother, WHO YOU LOST?

I have mixed feelings about the fact that the end of the series has her decide to become a teacher, because season 2 has an episode all about how she's a passionate duelist who enjoys the fight. At the same time, as someone who ended up in education and who really related to Asuka's Darkness nightmares...I kind of feel it.

Also, rituals are cool. :> Asuka gets points in my book for that.

What I like about their appearance

Asuka's design is pretty simple, which is kind of nice. Shout-out to her gloves, adding a bit of duelist's flair and looking very nice in the Taiyou animation:

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Original, mostly by habit. I don't have anything against Alexis aside from the general implications of Westernizing names as localization, but GX sub names are just ingrained for me.

OTP

Asuka/dueling. She says it herself, folks.

NOTP

Judai/Asuka, just because so often it feels like obligatory main guy/main girl stuff when both have better options.

OT3

You know, I don't know any Asuka OT3s? The first pitch for an Asuka OT3 I get will be my favorite by default.

Favourite card they use

Cyber Tutu. I know I said I like her ritual monsters, but Cyber Tutu waltzing in to kick you directly in the face always kills me.

Favourite moment they were in

Picking up a sulking Judai by the collar like he's a misbehaving cat. Honestly iconic. Was it a direct solution to the problem? No. Was it still needed? Absolutely.

Least favourite moment

Can I just point to the entire episode with the poker player? Did we really need another rando suitor for Asuka? Did we learn anything about her that we didn't from previous episodes? Could we have an Asuka episode about something other than boys crushing on her???

#yugioh series #yugioh gx #pics #screencaps #ask memes #asuka tenjoin

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nimuetheseawitch · 9 months ago

Note

Character asks: Lirael!

1: sexuality headcanon

Aspec. I think she definitely doesn't interrogate her sexuality at all and is pretty ace and at least a little arospec. She knows she's supposed to be interested in that, but she mostly doesn't have the time, patience, or interest for it. She's not opposed necessarily, but she doesn't have an active interest in it.

2: otp

Nicholas Sayre. I've said this before, but I think they would love researching magic together. Nick would teach her the scientific method, and she would show him her fuck around and find out method of research. They would fumble a bit around navigating relationship expectations and Nick wouldn't know how to deal with Lireal's asexuality, but by the end of their time in the books, I'm pretty sure they know they need to communicate better, and I have faith they'd figure it out (also, they'd have very weirdly powerful kids who would almost certainly become Abhorsens, although at least one of them is gonna want to just hole up in the Library of the Clayr for their entire life).

3: brotp

The obvious choice is the Dog, but I think she and Ellimere would become best friends pretty quickly. They're very different, but Ellimere reminds Lireal that there can be joy around responsibility (while they still both are overachievers going above and beyond to live up to a lot of intense expectations).

4: notp

Sam? I mean, there's the obvious bit about how she's his aunt, but they don't know that at first, so we do get Sam looking at her that way briefly. But they are friends. Also, even though they've bonded through the shared trauma of saving the universe, they still frequently just don't understand each other. And also end up not talking to each other for months at a time while Sam is locked up in his workshop and she's off fighting the Dead. But yeah, that's a big no for me.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

I mean, the aspec stuff. But outside of that, it's that Lireal hides out at the kennels at the Palace when she's there and doesn't want anyone to find her. The Palace library is fine, but she misses the Dog and the dogs in the kennels love her.

6: one way in which I relate to this character

I too am a nerdy gifted kid who weirded people out and read ahead in the books at school. I related to her so hard about that when I first read the book. Also the depression a bit. Related a lot in high school.

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

The weepiness sometimes. I've never been much of a crier, so that was always just uncomfortable for me to read.

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Cinnamon roll.

#lireal #abhorsen #old kingdom #character asks #sparrowsarus

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carewyncromwell · 7 months ago

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"Still harder getting up, getting dressed,

Living with this regret,

But I know if I could do it over,

I would trade, give away

All the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken..."

~"What Hurts the Most (cover)" by State of Mine

x~x~x~x

Inspired by a What-If? Prompt from @drinkyoursoupbitch:

If your OTP got together as grown-ups, give them that teenage dream first kiss full of all the yearning, clumsy choices, and awkward hands.

Read the original unraveling of this scene from Carion's canon! // Read more canon Carion content!

x~x~x~x

Orion got up to practice on his own every morning. He'd always been an early riser from the time he was young, and there was often nothing more medicinal than having some time to just fly on his own, without having to worry about the stresses that came with being Slytherin Quidditch Captain.

Though in this case, perhaps it was the abrupt absence of that stress that made Orion so want to fly. Because as of three days ago, Orion had flown in his very last match at Hogwarts -- and, thanks in large part to Carewyn Cromwell's return to his team, they had finally achieved their long-sought goal of winning the Quidditch Cup. In fact, the Slytherin Quidditch team was set to accept the trophy later that very day.

A perfect ending to Orion's tenure at Hogwarts. It brought him some measure of peace, to know he'd finally seen his team reach their goal, and yet there was something restless in his soul. Something he could hardly put into words...

Orion tried to shrug this unease off same as his poncho as he set about flying around the goal hoops that muggy May morning. He'd just finished weaving through the last one when his eyes caught sight of it.

A Patronus, gleaming and white, shaped like a horse with long, beautiful wings that were spread wide as it galloped on thin air alongside him.

Orion's heart stopped.

His Patronus...? How could that -- ?

No. No, it couldn't be Orion's Patronus, when he hadn't cast the spell. So that had to mean...

Orion was barely conscious of how wide his dark eyes had become. The Abraxan Patronus's own silvery eyes seemed to consider him, before it turned and flapped off, back toward the commentary box.

And sitting in the box, holding her wand aloft, was Carewyn, dressed in a feathery white dress with a bright lipsticked smile.

Orion's heart felt like it had grown ten sizes, just seeing her. He hardly acknowledged just how quickly he flew over, nor how his entire expression had flooded with fondness and awe as he looked at her. All he really seemed to know was the overwhelming warmth that came with reaching her, even as her Patronus lingered behind her.

She was healed. She was all right.

"Carewyn Cromwell," he murmured, his mouth spreading into a full smile.

Carewyn beamed. "Good morning. Happy Ceremony Day."

"A very happy day it is," Orion agreed, "seeing you've recovered."

Orion was happy for it. He'd been so worried when she'd been hurt -- the anxiety attack he'd suffered was worse than anything he could remember.

"Mm. I'm not supposed to carry anything heavy or push myself too hard…and Chiara’s still going to have to make me Healing potions for the rest of the week…but I should be able to just take them at lunch and dinner now. And at least now I can actually wear what I want again – except at the ceremony, of course."

Carewyn's blue eyes sparkled in the light still coming off of her Patronus -- had they always been so bright? It made them look like moonbeams...blueish moonbeams, in the midst of broad daylight. Even her face, so soft and round, was as pale as the moon...

Had she...always been so beautiful, and he'd just never noticed...?

Carewyn's Patronus abruptly disappeared, and Orion suddenly realized that he'd completely zoned out.

"Orion?" said Carewyn. "Is something wrong?"

Orion offered her a placid smile. "Nothing is wrong. My mind merely...wandered away, for a moment, without my consent..."

And went skipping off into a daydream, he thought dryly. I didn't even know it could do that.

His eyes drifted over where Carewyn's Patronus had been, before trailing back over Carewyn's face. Her brows were lightly furrowed in concern and deep thought -- it made sweet little wrinkles crease in her temple, ones that made her almond-shaped eyes look that bit more piercing...beckoning...

At ease, Orion tried to rein in his brain again. You'll make her uncomfortable, staring so much.

Sure enough, Carewyn averted her eyes. Clearly the prolonged eye contact had taken her aback.

"...Well, perhaps that's because you've yet to eat something. One can hardly get ready for the day without a proper breakfast..."

She busied herself with taking off her wicker basket purse and unloading it of some pastries wrapped up in red and white checkered napkins and two bottles of Butterbeer.

Orion's expression immediately softened. That was so like Carewyn...thinking of everyone else's health and well-being before herself...

With an easy leap and a flick of his broom, he'd landed in the box, climbing the few stairs needed to reach her. Carewyn continued avoiding his eyes, but her shoulders still seemed to relax as he settled down beside her.

"I know Butterbeer's not exactly customary," she said in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Mum usually serves tea with her pikelets...but well, I figured Chiara wouldn't want me to aggravate my wound by lugging a whole tea service up here..."

"I can't say I've ever been much for custom, considering my life has never been built around it," Orion said with a smile. "In some sense you could say customs are merely rules of a significant age...and we Slytherins are well-known for having a disregard for rules, are we not?"

Carewyn giggled as she handed Orion his napkin-wrapped pastry. It was flat and covered in some sort of golden jam.

Orion considered it curiously -- Carewyn looked at him significantly as she held up her own.

"Here -- fold it so the apple compote doesn't fall out, and eat it like this."

Orion followed her lead, and was pleasantly surprised by how good it tasted.

"Mm...! This is good..."

His heart fluttered seeing just how proudly Carewyn beamed. He brought a hand up to brush his hair out of his face, even if it coincidentally obscured the rosiness of his expression.

"...You said this was your mother's recipe?" he asked.

Circulate air, restless heart. Carewyn has always been both kind and aesthetically pleasing, there's no need for this...

Carewyn nodded. "Yeah, Mum loves making pikelets in the morning. Not always with fruit -- sometimes she serves them with syrup. But she loves using fruit for special occasions...and well, I'd say today's certainly that."

Orion's eyes softened.

"Indeed it is. Especially because you will be there to accept the trophy with us."

My dream of seeing our team reach our goal would not have been complete without you.

Carewyn's face darkened in a slight blush, but her smile only broadened even as she bowed her head.

"...I'm just glad I could help," she said. "After how long and hard you worked to get the Cup -- how hard your whole team worked...you deserved to win, Orion."

She was trying to keep her posture proud, but Orion could see the shyness in her body language. It was...cute, in a strange way. Like a baby featherless Phoenix shaking off the ashes...

"Trust me, Carewyn," Orion said gently, "that without the hard work and loyalty you yourself put in, I would have nothing to celebrate. But because you did put them in, and because we got to achieve this victory together...I feel akin to a Seeker, having finally caught the Snitch. This gold we've won would've been out of reach forever, had you not beaten back the obstacles that sought to take it from us. And now I'm set to fly higher than any Abraxan, with the wind you've been under my wings."

Carewyn tried all the more to hide both her blush and the emotion in her expression. It wasn't quite smiling anymore -- now there was something almost bittersweet there.

"...Thank you, Orion," she murmured. "That really means a lot to me."

With a tap of her wand and a wordless spell, she opened the two Butterbeer bottles, handing the right bottle to Orion. The two then clinked the bottles together and then took a sip, looking out to the horizon.

Orion had always wanted Carewyn back on the Slytherin team, from the very moment she'd first left. The memory of their victorious first match together against Hufflepuff back in his fourth year was still one of the happiest in his life, ever after so long. Why, it'd even been the thing that helped him cast his own first Patronus earlier that year in Defense Against the Dark Arts...

The crowd cheering...Skye's whoops and Carewyn's happy, smiling face...that had been the thing that had flooded Orion's chest with enough light and hope to create a corporeal Patronus. A Patronus just like...

"Orion -- "

"Carewyn -- "

The two ended up speaking at the exact same moment completely by accident.

"Sorry -- you go ahead -- "

"Forgive me, I -- "

Orion found himself flushing darkly. Carewyn's face was pink too, but she offered him an encouraging smile.

"It's okay," she said, even as her eyes drifted away, "you go first."

Orion swallowed. Then, considering his words very carefully, he took a deep breath.

"...I merely wished to ask...about your Patronus. Has it...always taken that form?"

Carewyn blinked. Clearly she hadn't been expecting that.

"Yes," she said, confused. "Abraxans have always been my favorite magical creature, ever since I was little."

"...Really..."

Orion's eyes drifted away, but the corner of his lips seemed to twitch in a strange soft of smile.

Carewyn tilted her head at him, looking both confused and curious. When he caught her eye, Orion bowed his head, failing to obscure the broadening smile on his face.

"Forgive me, it's just...I'm quite fond of them too."

Carewyn cocked her eyebrows, smiling. "Yeah?"

"Yes. They are unique creatures. Beautiful, yes, but also...rare, in their spirit. Symbolic of light and wisdom -- of creativity and inspiration, of chasing the impossible. True, unbridled freedom..."

Carewyn's blue eyes seemed to shine.

"They really suit you, then," she said.

Orion looked up at her, surprised. Then his black eyes softened.

"...You think so?"

"Of course!" said Carewyn, the amusement in her voice tempered by its warmth. "You've always been so wise, Orion -- you've always been bright, creative, and ambitious. And you've always been a source of light for your team -- they love you with all of their hearts."

Her blue eyes became a little smaller.

"...You've always inspired people. You make people want to work hard and chase their gold, no matter how impossible it might seem. ...I don't know how Slytherin's team will ever be the same..."

She pushed down another bittersweet flicker from her face, instead putting on a braver smile as a flash of amusement danced through her eyes.

"...If I'm a Fire Crab for my temper," she teased, "then your lofty ideals definitely make you an Abraxan."

Orion couldn't bite back a laugh. It was very quiet, very hushed, and very short, and yet it made his heart swell up in his chest. His head fell as he tried to contain his amusement. Eventually he looked up at her, unable to suppress the bright, warm emotions from his face.

"...No...no, Carewyn Cromwell, you are no Fire Crab. Your Patronus proves that."

Carewyn laughed. "Why, because Fire Crabs can't cast Charms?"

But Orion merely smiled broadly.

"Cast the spell again," he told her.

Carewyn cocked her eyebrows.

"Please."

Still eying Orion suspiciously, Carewyn nonetheless raised her wand, holding it absently over her right shoulder.

"Expecto Patronum."

A cluster of white swirled around her shoulder, swelling up like a cloud that melded itself into the shape of an Abraxan Winged Horse with silvery gray eyes.

Carewyn waited for Orion to say something poetic or philosophical at the sight of it. Instead, though, Orion's smile only seemed to brighten as he too took out his own wand.

And when Orion looked deep into Carewyn's eyes, Carewyn saw something flickering at the back of them -- a memory of Orion learning the Patronus Charm himself...conjuring a misty shape with feathery wings...

The suspicion and amusement slid right off of Carewyn's face, to be replaced with shock.

"...You...?" she whispered.

Orion inclined his head ever-so-slightly to her, his black eyes serious.

"Expecto Patronum."

In an instant, a line of white smoke emerged from his own wand, swirling through the air until it had been weaved into a second beautiful, brightly shining Abraxan Patronus.

Carewyn watched in disbelief and awe as it landed behind Orion, its head arching over his shoulder as it sniffed the air. Carewyn's own Patronus extended its own neck over its owner's shoulder and gently touched noses with Orion's.

Carewyn and Orion both watched their Patronuses slowly faded away, before turning to look at each other. Both of their faces were flushed and they'd gone very quiet.

"...You..." Carewyn struggled to retain her composure. "...we...have the same Patronus."

"...Yes."

Orion's throat was very dry. It was painful when he swallowed.

"...I...know you don't believe in fate, Carewyn Cromwell," he said, trying very hard to keep his voice steady even though his heart and air intake were depriving him of his usual balanced speaking cadence. "I know that you won't want to invest time in anything frivolous so long as your brother is in danger, nor are you the type to settle for a person who would lean on superstition as a reason to pursue you. I know you and I are not so similar that I've developed romantic instincts, or that I will ever learn how to nest and settle, or that the futures we've dreamed up for ourselves would have any common ground at all..."

He had moved a bit closer to her when he'd bowed his head, but now he tried hard to look at her. Maybe if she looked into his eyes, she'd see through him, like she always had seemed to...

"...But right now I...I want to believe," he said softly. "Even if we're young and foolish -- even if we truly know nothing of the real world, even if I myself know nothing about love...I want to believe that this is real. Because the way I feel, right now...it makes me feel real. You've made my days better, just by being there. You've made my problems smaller, just by showing support. You've made Quidditch more fun, just by flying by my side. I cast my first Patronus in part because of the memory of you."

The words all came stumbling out in a stream of consciousness he couldn't suppress. It made Orion feel oddly vulnerable. Blind. Almost ashamed.

"...I look back," he said shakily, "and I...I'm amazed it took me so long to see it. I'm amazed it took me finding out we share a Patronus to see it. And during the match -- when you were hurt..."

Orion had to force himself to breathe. He inhaled and exhaled shakily.

"...it...frightened me...more than anything ever has. It still frightens me. Because I know you'll place yourself in danger as much as you have to, so long as your brother needs you. And as much as I could ask you to be safe...you wouldn't be the inspiring, brilliant Abraxan you are, if I tried to bind your wings."

Carewyn was left speechless. All she could do was stare. And yet through Orion's eyes, it seemed like she was getting everything she needed -- as if she could feel everything he could at this moment -- and it was overwhelming her. She even had to cover her face to obscure her emotions.

"Carewyn..."

Orion brought a hand down to her shoulder, wanting to comfort her, but as soon as he touched her, Carewyn's head immediately shot back up. She stared up at him, her flushed face stained with tears -- a sight that made Orion's heart ache.

"Oh, Carewyn, forgive me...forgive me, I didn't wish to -- "

Orion had been moving back, but he halted when Carewyn brought her hands up to hold his face.

"No," she said firmly. "No, Orion, you don't need to apologize."

She placed her forehead beside his, their noses touching just as their Patronuses had. Her red lips were curled up slightly, but trembling.

"...I just wish I was stronger," she murmured. "So I could protect you."

Orion's heart bled. Slowly he brought up his own hands and, very hesitantly, brought them on either side of Carewyn's face, cradling it as she was his.

"You, Carewyn Cromwell," he whispered beside her lips, "are the strongest person I know."

He paused.

"...Please...may I kiss you?"

Carewyn gave a choked laugh. "You practically already are."

"Practically is not actually," Orion said lightly. Then, through a darker flush, he added, "...Magizoologists say that Abraxans need forceful handling, but I cannot ascribe to that. I can't presume I have your permission."

Carewyn's eyes sparkled with fondness.

"You have it, Orion," she whispered.

And she pecked his lips.

Once Orion recovered, he swept in, capturing her mouth with his. He melted into Carewyn's arms as she brought them around him and stroked his hair -- he tried to copy her by burying his own hand into her hair, undoing her ponytail so he could tangle it into the strands. They kissed multiple times, a few long, but many short, and traded jokes and reassurance all the while. For truly, this was a bit frightening for both of them, however exciting it was.

Young love was scary. But courage could be love's most loyal friend.

x~x~x~x

This was not how Carewyn and Orion ended up confessing to each other -- but it did serve to be one of many "what-if" scenarios that Orion fancied, back in the days before he fully came to grips with how in love he truly was with Carewyn...and, perhaps, always had been.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #my writing #aesthetic #carewyn cromwell #orion amari #my fanfiction #AU

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