#they used to be the only people believing in me

[moonstruckme]

Hi Mae!! I was wondering if you could write something where reader is in the hospital for something and maybe another doctor or nurse doesn’t realize she’s remus’s gf and is being rude to her. And doctor!remus overhears and saves the day lol<3

Thank you for requesting lovely <3

cw: reader who menstruates, mention (not really description) of severe period pains, healthcare gaslighting

doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 632 words

“Have you tried taking pain medications like ibuprofen?” 

You clench your jaw. “Yes, I have.” 

“And how long has your period lasted?” 

“It started on Tuesday.” 

The nurse looks up from his chart, unimpressed. “So it’s only been a few days.” 

“Yes, but the pain started before that. And this has been happening for—” 

“Are you aware that many women experience period pains before the start of their periods?” 

Your skin feels hot. Frustrated tears threaten to clog your throat, and you fight the urge to bend over to relieve some of the pain in your abdomen. “Yes. I know that.” 

“One a scale from one to ten, how would you rate your pain?” 

“Eight.” Your voice nearly breaks. 

Your nurse pushes out a sigh. “I’m sorry to tell you, but that’s not uncommon either.” He sets down his chart, leveling with you. “Listen, we treat a lot of really sick and hurting people here. We have lots of patients to get to today, so if you think what you’re experiencing could be normal period pain—”

“Excuse me?” The nurse falls silent as Remus pulls aside the curtain, stepping into your little room. You have to shove down the urge to cry just for seeing him. He looks between the two of you, seemingly confused but obviously displeased. “What’s going on?” 

“Hi,” you offer meekly.

Your nurse turns to Remus with a long-suffering look that’s nearly conspiratorial as well. It’s clear he expects to be agreed with. “Doctor Lupin, sorry to waste your time. You’re welcome to check her out, but after an initial interview we’re fairly certain she’s experiencing regular menstrual cramps.” 

Your face flames at his use of we. You hadn’t agreed to any of that. 

“It’s not a waste,” Remus says, clipped. “I asked her to come here, because her menstrual cramps are abnormally severe and prolonged, and I’ve already ordered an ultrasound to find out why. Are you in the habit of deterring our patients from seeking care?” 

Your boyfriend’s tone grows increasingly agitated as he speaks, and you watch with a guilty sort of satisfaction as the blood drains from the nurse’s face. 

When he offers up no answer, Remus’ expression hardens. “I’ve got it from here. Find me later, please.” 

You barely get to see your nurse leave. Remus steps closer to you, eclipsing your view, the anger in your boyfriend’s expression melding into concern.

“Hi, honey.” His hand wraps around your arm. “How is it today?” 

You feel your face crumple under his caring gaze. “A little better,” you manage. 

Remus makes a sympathetic sound, thumb sweeping gently over your skin. “Still nauseous?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Did he ask you to rate your pain?” 

“Mhm.” 

“And what did you say?” 

You shrug. You’re never sure how accurate you are with these scales. “I said an eight. It might be a seven, though, I just” —your voice cracks— “wanted him to believe me.” 

 “Oh, baby.” Remus wraps you up in a hug, cupping your head to his chest. “I’m sorry he treated you that way, sweetheart. It was completely out of order. I’m not going to let it happen to anyone else, I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” you say tightly. “I’m fine, and it’s not your fault.” 

Remus makes a tsking sound like he doesn’t quite agree. “Why didn’t you tell him you were with me?”

You shrug, a bit bashful. “I didn’t want to, like, name drop you.” 

Remus smiles, shaking his head in astoundment. “You’re absurd.” He gives your cheek a loving hold. His eyes lock on yours, steady and earnest. “We’re going to sort this, alright?”

“Oh, don’t involve me, please. Talk to him after I’m gone.” 

“I mean your cramps,” Remus laughs. He presses a kiss to your forehead. “But yes, after you’re gone.”

[euthymiya]

You believe in soulmates. Alhaitham does not. It’s not as though he loves you any less for his beliefs, but he certainly doesn’t entertain your baseless theories.

You’re determined to change his mind.

“What would you do if we never met?” You ask, staring up at him with your cheek pressed against his chest.

He glances down at you, sighing as he shakes his head. Here we go, he thinks silently. “I probably wouldn’t do anything, considering I wouldn’t know you existed.”

“You wouldn’t be sad?” You frown.

“How can I be sad about something that I don’t know exists?”

“Well, you could know of me,” you insist, “just because you don’t know me doesn’t mean you don’t know I exist.”

“In that case, I probably would not do anything,” he snorts. You don’t like that answer, glaring up at him as he adds, “I wouldn’t know what I’m missing if we never met.”

“You’re a real romantic, has anyone ever told you that?” You grumble. There’s a vibration of his chuckle through his chest, right under your cheek in a soft, rhythmic feeling that you’re so used to, you think it might be familiar from another life.

Over the course of the Akademiya’s years, there have been two prominent theories that have been debunked about soulmates:

1. The law of conservation of mass-energy states that matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed—but only transformed. When a person dies, their body decomposes, breaking down into atoms that return to the earth, air, and water. These atoms then get recycled by nature, eventually becoming part of other living organisms, thus reincarnating from their previous life forms. It is possible, then, that two individuals could fundamentally be linked to reincarnate together from the same set of atoms in every lifetime.

It was later debunked by a scholar named Lamiya. Atoms themselves don’t retain information about where they’ve been or what they’ve been part of. They are interchangeable at a fundamental level, which means there is no difference between an atom in a human and a rock.

2. The heart and brain generate electromagnetic fields that extend outward from the body, with the heart’s field reaching several feet. Studies suggest these fields may be sensed by others nearby, subtly shaping feelings of comfort, attraction, and connection. It is possible that certain individuals’ frequencies may naturally align, creating a sense of harmony between electromagnetic fields, thus indicating that two individuals are naturally connected and could be labeled soulmates.

This theory was later disproven by a scholar named Dharmakirti. While human bodies do generate electromagnetic fields, there is no evidence that these fields influence interpersonal attractions or emotional resonance. Fields produced by the heart and brain are exceptionally weak and rapidly diminish with distance, making it unlikely they could be sensed or create harmony between individuals in measurable ways.

They fascinate you enough that Alhaitham pulls strings to allow you access to the archived files, but it doesn’t go unnoticed by you how he scrunches his nose in distaste as he sifts through them himself.

Soulmates have no plausible evidence of existing, he argues.

Lots of things have no plausible evidence, yet they exist, you always argue back.

You like to think despite all the differences, you and Alhaitham are soulmates—that some form of you, outside of your physical bodies, exists for each other and each other alone.

You think it must be the case when your eyes seem to find his in a crowd without even trying. What are the odds that in a sea of people, they always happen to come across his by chance? And what other explanation would there be for the way he always seems to just know you’re staring at him while he sleeps every morning, waking up not too long after your eyes fall on his face in admiration? And how else would you rationalize the fact that you could tell his presence apart from anyone. You’re certain that if two bodies were standing behind you from a distance, your heart would know which one belonged to him.

Soulmates, you argue. That has to be the answer.

“I think we were always meant to meet,” you murmur quietly, tracing a finger along the pale skin of his chest. “Don’t you?”

“We’ve shared numerous classes together and have offices within within the same hall,” he states blandly, “I think the chances of not meeting would be rather improbable.”

“Or maybe,” you huff, “we were always meant to meet because we’re soulmates.”

“I think that theory has been sufficiently disproven—”

“You never know! We believe in the divine even if we’ve never seen them, haven’t we? Who’s to say Celestia aren’t fake—”

“The Archons have spoken of them multiple times, and The Gods, in fact, do exist for us to see, so I think we can trust—”

“Maybe Celestia decide soulmates,” you reason, raising a pointed brow at him, “how will you disprove that? There’s no evidence that they haven’t, and you can’t collect much evidence about them, so I think it’s safe to say that it’s possible.”

“But then it’s equally as safe to say it’s not possible by that logic, as well,” he says smugly.

“Fine,” you huff, glowering up at him through puffed cheeks, “I guess you’re just too stubborn to convince.”

“I’m not stubborn,” he argues (which he does quite stubbornly, you want to say), “I apply logic and reasoning to my theories. Which is why they are hardly disproven.”

“Do you at least think we’d be soulmates in another world if they did exist?” You ask hopefully.

He looks like he wants to argue about the likelihood of another world existing altogether—it irritates you enough that it pulls a frown on your face before you grumble a quiet forget it, shuffling out of his arms and turning away to face your back at him.

He chuckles, shaking his head. Something fond blooms in his chest, like a fresh padisarah in May.

“If,” he emphasizes as his arms wrap around you from behind, pulling you flush against his chest once more, “if in another world we existed where soulmates were real, then yes. I do think it would be you and I.”

“Really?” You ask quietly.

“Yes,” he whispers. Suddenly, he sounds rather sure about a theory he never even believed in the first place.

“I wonder what we’re doing in that other world,” you hum thoughtfully.

He sighs, bringing the blanket back up to cover both of your bodies and mumbles, “I would hope we’d be sleeping at a reasonable hour before a work day.”

—————

Stay tuned for them being soulmates after all in another world *wink wink* ;)

[aikya-kat-44]

This is my life.

I always knew something was off about my friendships. I was told by adults I was overthinking. Then I found out the truth when I was 5.

Because my best friend, after ages giving those subtle signs, finally revealed their dislike of being my friend.

I thought they were the one person I could always count on. I was wrong. I would never quite trust anyone fully again.

Do you know what it's like to watch your mother cry? Believing she is ugly because of her dark skin, wishing she was fair like you. It is heartbreaking. I wanted to take her tears away. I wanted to hug her and never let go. Do you know what it's like to know that your parents are working their butts off to give you a better life than they had, only for you to push away food for no reason even you could explain? Do you know what it's like to cry alone in your room about seemingly nothing?

My teachers hated me for doing things everyone else was supposed to. Because I'm brown and I didn't bring in Indian food for them as a 'gift' every lunchtime. Because I used to point out their mistakes in class when they made them. Because I didn't have to pay attention to succeed in school. Because I didn't pay attention. Because no matter what, I was in the wrong and everyone else was in the right.

So I learned to lie. The people in my life taught me that it wasn't safe to be myself outside, so I wore a mask. One that made me 'good'. One that made me palatable. One that locked away almost all of who I truly was.

I made new friendships that were born to die every time. I learned not to get too attached, to distance myself to avoid hurting others. I got a reputation for being calm and mature for my age. I suppose you could almost call me popular. Except all popular really was was to live surrounded by false friends. But somewhere along the way I made a true friend. One who supported me. One who didn't treat me like I had to earn the right to exist in their social sphere by changing myself to fit in.

I would feel guilty for taking up their time. I would feel like I was using them every time I told them one of my problems. Because I had always been taught I was manipulative and unwanted, so now I believed it.

I almost felt wanted, then. My friends had become family. I belonged.

I suppose my brief happiness was never meant to last. Because one night, someone flicked a switch. We grew up, maybe. Maybe an evil sleep demon whispered in all their ears but mine. But suddenly all my friends were fighting. Everyone seemed to hate everyone else. And, once again, I was no longer welcome.

Alone again, as always.

I moved house. It made things worse.

I hated the new place where I lived. My parents, who had always been the most supportive and loving people in my life, thought I was overreacting (even they'd never understand). All I could do was cry the night away. I felt both too numb and too emotional at the same time.

My new teachers liked me about as much as my old ones had. But I was falling behind in my schoolwork. I had always been good at school without trying, but now, for the first time, I was getting average grades, and I lacked the motivation to even look at a question for more than 1 minute. It was an endless spiral of frustration, confusion and doubt.

High school is, after all, where dreams go to die.

There were people just as homophobic and racist at my new school as at my old one. But there were people who were nice. So nice. I wanted desperately to be friends with them. But I knew I could not, because I had bullied myself into believing I would destroy any connections I made. That I was unworthy of affection. It's like I was cursed to be forever longing, looking from the outside in.

So every time people got close to me, I started acting like the jerk I believed myself to be. Pushing them away before I could hurt them. Before I could be hurt. I could outneurotypical the neurotypicals practically when masking, when I had to make a good impression on someone who I would only know on basic terms, but when it came to trying to forge meaningful bonds I had no words. I couldn't. I had a hundred million words to lie with, but not one that could capture the truth. To make someone understand. All I wanted was for someone to understand. Nobody understands. Everybody seemed to hate me.

That is why when my friend disagrees with me, and screams that I am manipulative and always make things too hard, all I can do is agree with them.

a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints

[megamindsecretlair]

Make Me Weak, Part 2

Pairing: Sex Therapist!Terry Richmond x Sub!Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Cursing, mentions of depression, anxiety, and description of sex acts and sexual issues. Hair pulling, PIV, condom use. Power imbalance, Shy!reader. Dark!Terry. Dom!Terry, AU Terry, all consensual. Sorry if I missed some. I'm not a therapist and while I do not make light of therapy, this is purely for my own fun. Please seek real medical attention when necessary.

Summary: You followed Dr. Richmond’s instructions to the best of your ability. You spent so much time in your mind that willingly descending into your body was an experience that opened your eyes to how much you had neglected. Your second session forces you to confront more truths than what you were ready for. 

Terry reaches some conclusions of his own as he tries to shake whatever is ailing him by disappearing between Tasia’s thighs. Yet his mind is on you, on your thoughts and words. During the second session, he can’t help but push you beyond your limit.

Word Count: 5,018k

Part 1 | AO3 Link

A/N: I'n back babbyyyy. I got so inspired reading so many lovely fics. Plus the encouraging asks really helped. I had TOO much fun writing this and you will not hurt my feelings if you don't want to read this one. However, I must tag to keep my taglist updated. Forgive me, my loves. Toss a coin to your blogger by leaving a comment, gif, or unhinged ask.

You

Hot steam rolled out from the shower as you set it to your desired temperature. You faced yourself in the mirror, thinking over Dr. Richmond’s words. You supposed that there was some truth to what he had told you.

Most people did start by exploring their own bodies first. It must be so easy for guys. Close the door, grab some lotion, and rub one out. Girls on the other hand…your life was constantly spent in a state of panic.

Panic that anything on your person would make your mother snap. Harsh criticisms hidden behind “just talkin’ shit” that Black people liked to hide behind. You were too sensitive to jokey-joke with when you weren’t able to reciprocate. It’s not like you could talk about your mom. It’s not like you could throw insults back in her face and tell her to take it in stride.

Panic that you could be caught or exposed at any point. You were a grown woman, yes. You were also taught to believe that you needed to act as if someone was watching. You believed there was some kind of life after all this and so wouldn’t it stand to reason that someone or something would be looking at you? Or worse, someone would come flying through your door because your family lacked boundaries? 

Panic that you didn’t know what lay on the other side of an orgasm. How would you feel? How would you look? Surely something like that changed a person. Feeling that rush of relief for the first time had to be special. Had to be amazing. Otherwise, why would anyone ever be obsessed with sex? 

Panic that you’d never reach that peak and fall over. Never feel that rush of euphoria that everyone talked about. Porn, books, friend groups. You always felt left out and you didn’t want to anymore, dammit. 

You watched yourself in the mirror as steam overtook it, inch by inch. Until you were only staring at your eyes and the disbelief written all over your face. Would this even work? Were you wasting your time? 

“I need total, focused commitment from you.”

Dr. Richmond’s sultry voice skittered along your naked skin. Goosebumps raised on your flesh from the cold air moving through the house. You would be focused. You would be committed. This was something you wanted so badly, you were fucking desperate. 

So you took deep, measured breaths using the Box method a previous therapist told you about. You inhaled for a count of four, held for four, exhaled for a count of four, and then held it for four. You repeated the process, doing a full body scan. 

You focused on your head, starting with your scalp. You focused on your forehead, feeling the tension melt away and your eyebrows start to relax. You hadn’t even realized that you had it scrunched.

You brought your attention to your eyes, unfocusing them, and allowed them to close. You repeated the process, breathing the entire time, settling down into your body when your mind wanted so badly to escape. To flee. To leave the Horrors. 

When you felt your mind drift, you didn’t chastise yourself. You continued to breathe, focusing on your breaths until you continued with your scan. Your body relaxed fraction by fraction. Your shoulders lowered from up around your neck. Aches and pains became more prominent. 

Your belly expanded and you sighed. You hadn’t even noticed how often you clenched your stomach, never allowing yourself a full breath. You always had to be on edge. Never knew where the next danger was coming from. What new fresh hell you would encounter just around the corner. 

By the time you reached your feet, you felt more relaxed than you had in a long time. Your body prickled with your newfound awareness. Steam caressed your bareskin and you quickly hopped in the shower, letting the warm water cascade across your body.

The water felt different on your body. Each droplet may as well have been a tiny earthquake, popping all over your skin and making you tingle. This…wasn’t too bad. 

You lathered up your facial scrub and gently moisturized your face, soothing the stiff areas. Your jaw popped as it loosened and you moaned from the relief. 

How long? How long have you spent outside of your body? A stranger to it? A foreigner to this vessel you carried around? Had you truly loved your body when you were so alien to it? Or had you just learned to layer on the armor and pretend? 

God, you felt like crying. With one session, Dr. Richmond already had you re-thinking your entire life. Like the answer was there in your face the entire time and you just needed him to shine a light on it. 

You rinsed your face while you grabbed a washcloth and lathered up with your favorite soap. You added body wash and then took your time trailing the washcloth around your body. Starting with your neck, you worked your way down to your chest. 

You took your time feeling the rough cloth against your smooth, watery skin. You rounded the washcloth across your nipples and they beaded under the slow torture. Oh, this was new. This was very nice. 

You were focused, letting the water act as a sound machine, lulling you into a further relaxed state. You followed the washcloth with your hand, moving over and under your areolas and nipples. You pinched your nipples and gave it a tug. You gasped from the responding tug in your pussy.

You moved on, remembering Dr. Richmond’s words about not making it sexual. But fuck, how could you not? 

Heat flushed beneath your skin that had nothing to do with the hot water on your body. You washed your back and then moved lower, skirting your throbbing pussy and washed your legs and dug the cloth between your toes. 

On the way up, your fingers glided around your mound, your hips pushing forward. Your breathing turned rapid, feeling yourself getting more and more excited. Your brain turned to mush, retreating from your actions. Like it wanted to picture something else. You shook your head, and started up with your Box breathing again.

You stopped mid-shower to reorient yourself and get yourself back into that zone of ultimate calm. If Dr. Richmond were there…

You focused on what he might say. There was no rush. There was no rulebook for this sort of thing. There was no reason to chastise yourself. There was no test to pass or box you had to check in order to achieve an orgasm. You just needed to relax, dammit. 

Slowly, achingly slow, you went back to that calm. You continued lathering up your body and then rinsed the soap off. You repeated the process, adding more soap to thoroughly wash your body. To enjoy the feel of the cloth and water and soap on your skin. On your body. 

“This is the only body you’ll ever have so it’s time to think beyond simple body maintenance. Admire your body.”

This was the only body you would ever have. It was time you stopped treating it like the enemy. 

You turned off the water and then got out. The chill air hit the water on your back and you shrieked and shivered, quickly drying off. You went through your nightly routine, taking care of your teeth, face, and deodorant. You sat down on a decorated stool in your bathroom to apply your lotion.

As instructed, you looked at your body. Every mole, every scar, every bump, and every wayward hair. Being in your body was weird to say the least. You had to disassociate to survive your childhood and you never learned to drop those defenses. Your body never realized that it wasn't at war anymore. Or perhaps it was and this was battle fatigue. You were so damn tired.

You massaged the lotion into your skin and then slipped in your panties. You pulled on an ankle bracelet you got while visiting New York once and it made you feel extra pretty, so why not. You turned on your bedside light and pulled out a notebook.

You started a new entry and wrote about the sensations and revelations you experienced. Some of it you would discuss with Dr. Richmond and some of it was never leaving your grave. It felt good to get it all out, uninterrupted.

Sometimes, venting to someone else just gave them room to talk over you. To steer the direction back to them. Brooklyn was like that. In an effort to relate, she ended up taking over the convo and made it about her situation. Then you ended up comforting her about her issue and never feeling truly heard about yours.

In a journal however, you pretended that you were just relaying it to a friend. The type of friend who allowed you to speak. To get your jumbled thoughts out without getting mad or trying overshadow you. 

Done, you collapsed against your bed as if every ounce of strength left your body. You breathed through it, allowed your body to rest for a moment. The hell kind of voo-doo shit did your therapist put you through?

Immediately, warning bells went off in your mind. Surely, you would be whisked away to some super important task around the house. Surely, your phone would ring with some awful accident you had to attend to. Surely…nothing. You were drained. You had nothing. 

You had just enough energy to put the journal up, turn off the light, and drift off to the deepest sleep of your life.

Terry

Tasia bounced like a porn star on Terry’s dick and it wasn’t doing a damn thing for him. He felt himself getting soft the more Tasia shuddered with her pleasure. At least one of them was having fun. 

Maybe he rushed this. Too intent on getting you out of his mind that he hopped immediately into Tasia’s warm heat and didn’t consider that there was no substitution. He knew it was irrational to be drawn to you so fast. After only one session. He was conflicted on that front, but it went beyond just looks. 

Your case, your assessments, your willingness to try, and your obvious smarts was a cocktail shooting through his veins and turning his body liquid. The perfect sub was dropped into his lap and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

And as a man used to getting his way in the bedroom, it stuck in his craw that he couldn’t have you. That it wasn’t your pussy that his dick disappeared inside of. Would you moan loudly? Were you shy in the bedroom? Were you enthusiastic? 

What would your mouth look like taking the full length of him? How far down could you suck him? Did that same determination translate to the bedroom?

Tasia grunted beneath him as his dick rose back to life, thoughts of you turning him harder than a brick. He could build a house with how hard he was at the moment, picturing the curves on your body. The natural handles in your waist for his big hands to wrap around. To hold.

He moaned, picturing it all so clearly. His thumbs would dig into your back. The sounds you would make. His hips jerked just thinking of pounding into you. No mercy. You weren’t some fragile flower. Your insightful thoughts were like a mirror to his own. He wanted to explore with you. And the fact that he couldn’t had him pulling Tasia’s hair back.

“Call me Dr. Richmond,” he commanded.

“Yes, D-Dr. Richmond,” Tasia moaned. It was starting to piss him off. 

“Softer,” he said.

“Yes, Dr. Richmond,” she said, bringing her voice lower, softer. It was nowhere near your voice, but it’d do for the fantasy he concocted in his head. He didn’t have time for any extra tricks tonight. He just needed to get to the other side of his nut. 

He closed his eyes and thought about your case. He wondered if you were doing as you were told. He wondered how well you would take commands in the bedroom. If he even had to give commands at all. If you’d instinctively know what he needed when he needed it. Tasia used to know that. Tasia used to have him out of breath. 

Now…she was a beautiful girl with deep mocha skin, a cute face, and wide expressive eyes. She was like a little doe in a meadow somewhere. He was attracted to the overall softness of her and of her body. The natural way she seemed to know what he needed. 

Perhaps it was him that had changed. His tastes. He was no longer interested in a casual sub-relationship. Perhaps he wanted a more permanent sub. One he could explore every single nasty fantasy with and never get bored. He was getting older, getting into his early-thirties without a significant partner.

And that was what he wanted. A partner. An equal. Someone he raced home to see or spent his days thinking about how he would break her and put her back together like a puzzle box. 

Terry groaned and came into the condom, gripping Tasia’s asscheeks for dear life. It was one of the hardest climaxes he ever experienced. His release triggered hers, causing her to fall forward as her pussy gripped his dick. 

He pulled out and immediately disposed of the condom, coming back to help clean up Tasia. 

“That was…different,” she said, using the word in place of something else. He didn’t want his reputation to slacken in that regard, but hell, this whole thing had been a mistake. He still made sure she came twice before he did, but he usually put more oomph into his sexual exploits. 

He usually had Tasia popping her pussy on his face, or contorting her like a pretzel. Now…he was just over it. Over trying to impress someone that wasn’t permanent in his life. That he couldn’t play with whenever he wanted. He was no longer excited at the prospect of making many women cum. He just wanted to make one cum over and over again. He wanted to collect each one like trophies. 

Terry grabbed Tasia’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Forgive me. Tonight should’ve probably been a gym night,” he said. He smiled for good measure, but it was a close-lipped smile.

“Oh, I’m not complaining. That dick still know how to rock my world,” she said. She stood up, pulling on her sweats and sweatshirt, and slipping on her sneakers. He sat down on the bed and watched her, not feeling an ounce of desire. 

She leaned over and grabbed his chin, making him look up at her. “You take care of yourself and whatever or whoever got you in this funk. And if you need more relief, you know my number,” she said.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said with another close-lipped smile. Tasia had been one of his longest play partners, he’d be sorry to see her go. She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek, showing herself out. 

Terry sat in his fancy bedroom in his fancy house, staring at the empty archway Tasia disappeared through. His mind and body told him that he was ready for something more. Something tangible. Something he could hold and never let go. He only hoped he found it soon.

You

You clutched your journal to your chest as you sat in Dr. Richmond’s office. Nothing about it had changed except the man himself. He chose to wear a cream colored outfit. A soft, oatmeal colored sweater and khaki pants with white sneakers. His gold rimmed glasses flashed every so often from the light overhead and you couldn’t help catching every single thing about him. If only to distract you from your racing thoughts.

It was one thing to live in your body when you were in the comfort of your own bathroom. Your mind escaped once more, retreated to the safest place you knew. Your knee bounced with nervousness. 

“You don’t have to share if you don’t want to. This is a safe space. It’s your space. You get to decide what we do here,” he said. 

You closed your eyes to the sound of his voice. If he wasn’t so damn helpful, you’d ask for someone else. Literally, anyone else. But he was the first therapist to give you a glimpse of the other side. You wanted that more than you were embarrassed.

“No, I want to share. I need to share,” you said. You licked your lips and then cracked open your journal. You skimmed over things you didn’t want to reveal just yet. Too embarrassing for a second meeting, of course.

“I think…I think my mind is safer. I am constantly on alert that I’m “doing the right thing”, as opposed to what actually makes me happy,” you said. 

When you didn’t say anything, Terry leaned back in his seat. He rolled up his sleeves, revealing the golden brown of his forearms. Your mind emptied of any other thought until he cleared his throat. “Can you expand on that?” 

You looked up into his eyes before heat rushed to your ears. You looked back at your journal, focusing on that rather than his lush, pink lips. 

You told him more about how you reached this conclusion. That there was a standard for being Black that you never quite achieved. That at any moment, multiple mobs of people were coming for your Black card. Or, you were constantly trying to over-achieve at school. You had to work twice as hard, had to be the smartest in the class, because if you came home with a B, your mom went on a long rant about being stupid and never achieving anything real in life. Or how everyone praised you at work for going above and beyond and then got mad when you couldn’t sustain it. You were constantly on the lookout for someone else’s standard.

“I have so many fucking voices in my ear, telling me to do this or do that. And I fucking hate it. Which is wild considering that that’s what I seek in a sexual partner,” you said.

Dr. Richmond smiled and nodded. “Your mind is trying to re-contextualize your upbringing. Being submissive is actually about putting yourself in the position of power. A dom is only as good as how well he treats his sub. It’s about the ultimate act of trust on the submissive’s part,” he explained.

“Yes! And how can I trust that someone isn’t going to…take what I say or want and abuse that or make fun of me for it?” You asked. You played with the corner of your journal, not willing to look at Dr. Richmond. You didn’t need to see the pathetic pity in his steel blue eyes. 

“You have to stand resolute in what you want. You have to recognize that pleasure and sex is about give and take. Trust and acceptance. The right partner isn’t going to make fun of you, abuse you, or rush you,” he said. 

You sighed and leaned back on the brown sofa. You felt like you were chasing a unicorn. What kind of guy was willing to be dominant and care about your needs? Reassure you when you needed and took control when your body sent massive panicked waves at him? Took care of the trust you were placing in him to help you relax and cum? While also being physically attractive to you and have you be attracted to him; not a chubby chaser, not a creep, and not an abuser? 

It was impossible. Hopeless.  

“If you’re comfortable, tell me more about what you found,” he said.

You took your mind off of your dream mystery man. When the fuck was it going to be your turn? 

You scanned your journal once more, noting the sensations about actually living inside your body. “I think when I feel an orgasm approaching, I get scared. And that could be part of why I’m blocking it, but even when I’m alone, I don’t know what it feels like. Or…”

“Or…?” Dr. Richmond prompted. 

You grimaced. Fuck, this was so hard to put into words. Too hard to expose yourself like this. But did you want to reach your sixties, seventies, never having a true orgasm? Never finding your way to actual release? 

“Or, there’s no way to control the orgasm,” you said.

Dr. Richmond nodded. “The goal isn’t to control it, you know,” he said. 

“I know!” You groaned and stood up. You thought better on your feet. Or maybe when you had something to do, you were better able to regulate the jumble of emotions inside of you. No wonder your emotions were all over the place. You spent too long disassociating, too long in your mind and not enough in your body. 

“What benefit do you get from being in control all the time?” The scratch of his pen on the notebook drew your attention to him. To his pretty face, dark eyelashes, and push lips. You watched as he wrote in his notebook. Watched the lines and planes of his gorgeous face. His short curled afro. 

“If I’m in control, if I never look weak or stupid or incompetent, then I win. I win at life. And all my bullies, from school to home are all wrong. There’s nothing wrong with me because I know what to do. I know what to say. I’m not an alien,” you said, taking a deep breath at the revelation.

Whatever your insurance company was paying him, they needed to double it. You admitted things you never had in the past. Your previous therapists attacked your problem sex first, focusing on different methods you could try. Some wanted you to describe, in detail, whatever you did to get yourself off. Safe to say they weren’t practicing ever again. 

“Do you believe there’s something wrong with you?” He asked. He leaned back in his seat, giving you an unflinching stare. His face gave away nothing, revealed nothing, as you thought through his question. 

“All the fucking time. Why else do friends keep leaving me? Or guys don’t want me? Or my mom is…my mom,” you said. 

“Have you considered that you aren’t the problem?” He asked.

“How could I not be? I’m the only common denominator,” you said. You flopped back onto the couch but it wasn’t that soft. It thudded under your weight and you took a deep breath. Fuck, you wanted to cry. Tears pricked your eyes, turning them hot and itchy. You refused to cry in front of this man. 

This strange, quiet man who seemed to read you like one of the many books on his bookshelf. No wonder he had so many degrees. He could drag a full confession from a mute. 

“That may be true. But, bear with me, consider that you aren’t the problem. If you take yourself out of the equation, what are you left with?” He asked. He leaned forward on his desk and the sudden intensity of the question made your mind blank.

You had…nothing. No explanation, no back up. You were used to making yourself the problem. The issue had to be you. If it wasn’t you…

You shrugged your shoulders and looked away from him. The silence stretched on, so quiet you could hear the quiet tick of the clock on the wall. 

“Don’t shy away now, dig into it. If it’s not you, then…?” Dr. Richmond prompted. 

The question only seemed to make you clamp up. Your tongue swelled. Your throat constricted. If it wasn’t you, then what? Everyone was incapable of giving you what you wanted? Everyone just had an agenda against you? Please, that was narcissistic as hell. 

Dr. Richmond stood up from his desk and took off his glasses. He pulled out a drawer and retrieved a glass cleaner cloth. He cleaned his glasses and walked around the front of his desk.

“Consider, for a moment, that other people have deficiencies as well. That people congregate in groups because biologically, it’s safer. We seek groups to be in and when we can’t find one, we tend to think that we’re the problem. That we are outcasts, getting left out to defend ourselves. But all that means is that we haven’t found our group yet. You’re trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. You don’t belong with the squares, so no, you won’t fit in with them. 

“The same goes for sex. Everybody has their preferences. People have their kinks, their needs. When those needs aren’t meant, society teaches us to look at our own deficiencies rather than someone else’s. Perhaps the man you need sexually is far different from the men you take to bed,” he said. He waved around his glasses as he spoke, drawing attention to his massive hands. 

Seriously, they were huge. Like two lion paws that could strike down someone with one hit. He held his glasses by the frame, waving it around delicately as he spoke. You were still paying attention to his words, but fuck…he was unreal. 

“But how do I find the man that I need sexually?” You asked.

Terry

Terry inwardly groaned as you asked him that. Plenty of suggestions came to mind, each too crass to suggest. How could he tell you to go into another man’s arms? How could he send you to another man to unleash that hidden hellcat within you and he wouldn’t get to experience it? 

He needed to end this. End this before it even began. He placed his glasses back on his face and crossed a line that he never thought he would. “I think we have more work to do to adjust the way you think about sex before we get into how you attract what you’re seeking. In fact, I’d suggest you abstain from sex until we get deeper into this,” he said.

“Abstain?” You snorted and he fought a smile. Your face showed absolute disgust, like the mere thought was abhorrent. 

“Abstain. From what you’ve told me and what’s in your file, you jumped from overcoming your initial thoughts and reluctance about sex right to jumping into bed. Without really, truly exploring yourself first. Kids explore their bodies all the time right? They grow conscious of themselves and start thinking about hey, my equipment is different from someone else’s equipment,” he said.

You couldn’t help but giggle and it caused him to smirk in return. Yes, it was silly. Talking about sex was silly. But it was true. “And as you start to notice people that you’re attracted to, you start to grow conscious of hormones in your system. Brain chemistry. All the fun stuff that goes into attraction. You start to touch yourself more, explore your preferences through porn or books or experimentation.”

You cringed when he brought up experimentation. He tilted his head. “Did you go through an experimentation phase?” He asked.

You closed your eyes and sighed as if it were the last question you wanted to answer. You completely fascinated him. He had no idea what would come out of your mouth next. How you would respond to certain questions or ideas. 

He snuck a glance at the clock, he was nearing the end of the session. He flexed his jaw. This was so damn irritating. By the time you were willing to open up, it was time to end it. He wished he could carve out a month of sessions to get you to lower your defenses and let him inside. 

“No? I grew up in the wrong generation. All everyone thought about was sex and while I did too, no one was checking for the fat Black nerds unless it was a prank. And I saw everything as a prank. I was always getting pointed at, made fun of, stared at. Jesus, being exposed fucking sucks! So, no, I didn’t experiment. There was no one to fucking experiment with. 

“And it wasn’t like I could go ten feet from my mom without her up my ass about where I was going. Claiming she just didn’t want me to get snatched when all she really wanted was just to control me. To not let me end up like her. Young and pregnant,” you practically yelled, spewing way more vitriol than he expected.

He figured it was a sore spot for you by the way you grimaced, but he hadn’t been expecting…that. Again, he balled his fists thinking of every person that ever let you down. Every person that was supposed to uplift you, guide you, help you, all dropped the ball in teaching you about self love.

Every experience every kid was supposed to have was denied to you. Instead of being asked out with interest, with sincerity, boys treated it like a prank. He was wild in his youth, he wasn’t always nice to people, or he went through life like a little gremlin. But he liked to think he mellowed somewhat in high school. Treating everyone with respect. From the nerds to the jocks. He didn’t know what not trusting people’s words felt like. Like everything that someone said came laced with poisoned barbs ready to sting. 

“This is so fucking stupid,” you whispered. Your lip trembled but no tears fell down your face. 

Fuck, even now you were trying to hold everything in. Control a natural response to something painful. “When was the last time you cried?” Terry asked.

You stood up and snatched your purse and journal from the couch. “Session’s up, right?” You asked. You avoided looking at him as you rushed to the exit. The faux glass door clanged against the wall as you threw open the door and left, steps echoing on the linoleum flooring. 

He stared at the door as it lazily swung back and he wondered. And he pondered. 

Wheww, need more? The Secret Terry Richmond Files | Part 1

Taglist: You guys, ya'll gon make me cry with this taglist! Thank you!

@planetblaque @chaos-4baby @amethyst09 @ciaqui @we-outsiiiide

@browngirldominion @iv0rysoap @thecookiebratz @harmshake @00aijia00

@judymfmoody @multiversefanfics @tvchi @xo-goldengirl @superhoeva

@avoidthings @lovedlover @blackgurlnhermoods @flydotty @sageispunk

@semi-yah @halfreal-and-halffiction @motheroffae @melaninpov @pinkpantheris

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@thegreatlibraryofalex @amyhennessyhouse @hihellogoodbyebruh @becauseimswagman1

[sluglore]

Explaining The Iterator's Purpose (And Why They Weren't Made to Circumvent The Echoes)

Alright, I know there's already been a few posts like this out there, like this older one from @halvedforest, and this recent one from @noizepushr, which are both good posts, but I've been meaning to touch up and cross-post my own older misconceptions post from reddit for a while now, and provide a deeper, more expanded analysis as to why this misconception exists and explain what's actually going on, so here it finally is haha I'll also be using the term 'Benefactor' instead of 'Ancient', if people are confused about that, I intend to make a post about it eventually ^^

( If you're confused on who out there even believes this, this idea originated from Rain World YouTube lore videos, long before Downpour was ever a thing! It is unfortunately still quite prominent on there... but it's definitely getting better :3 )

This misconception stems from misreading the singular pearl to ever mention the echoes, being the Bright Red farm arrays pearl, so let me begin by attaching the specific section below:

“There were some horror stories though... That if your ego was big enough, not even the Void Fluid could entirely cross you out, and a faint echo of your pompousness would grandiosely haunt the premises forever. So even when the Void Fluid baths became cheaper, some would still starve and drink the bitter tea.” (Bright red Farm Arrays pearl dialogue)

Note the specific usage of “some” here. Echoes weren't presented as an issue significant to re-center Benefactor society around, (let alone build the iterators for) but as some horror stories which only "some" people (likely on the fringes of society) would believe in. Nowhere are we given anything that alludes to the existence of Echoes being regarded as a societal problem to address, much less have anything to do with the Iterators.

Additionally, although we know for a fact that echoes do exist, its fairly possible that most of Benefactor society didn't, as LTTM doesn't even know what they are either, regarding them as nothing more than superstition. On the very next line, LTTM confirms that the void baths continued all the same, while again mentioning that "some" would still choose to abstain from them, and drink the bitter tea.

Then what’s the purpose of the iterators if they weren't created to circumvent the echoes? What is The Big Problem that they are even trying to solve in the first place? Well, both FP, LTTM, and the Exterior colored pearl dialogue spell the answer out for you. In fact, it's the first thing FP even tells you!

“The good news first. In a way, I am what you are searching for. Me and my kind have as our purpose to solve that very oscillating claustrophobia in the chests of you and countless others. A strange charity - you the unknowing recipient, I the reluctant gift. The noble benefactors? Gone.” (Five Pebbles dialogue to Survivor) (Monk's version also hits similar notes)

Five pebbles introduces himself as a “reluctant gift," with his purpose being "to solve that very oscillating claustrophobia in the chests of you and countless others," meaning to solve the cycles for everyone and everything else.

If you bring Looks to the Moon a neuron, she has the chance to repeat the same exact explanation to you.

"We were supposed to help everyone, you know. Everything. That was our purpose: a great gift to the lesser beings of the world. When facing our inability to do so, we all reacted differently. Many with madness.”

FP, LTTM, and the rest of their kind were created to serve the rest of the world in finding a method of total mass ascension, of ending the cycle entirely for everyone.... and everything. Not only including the fauna of the world, like the slugcat, but the bedrock, microbes and even gases, as explicitly stated in this snippet from the Exterior pearl dialogue below:

“The Moral Argument: Five Pebbles is our Creation, and we have Parental Obligations towards him. As an Iterator, he is also a Gift of Charity from Us to The World (unable to reach Enlightenment by itself - being composed mostly of Rock, Gas, dull witted Bugs and Microbes - and towards which We thus have Obligations)” (Pale Green Exterior pearl dialogue)

Here we have the Benefactors define it very clearly, that as an iterator, Five Pebbles is a "Gift of Charity from Us to The World." It's important to note that many misinterpret the next section in parentheses as being about FP himself, but if it were, it would be the only time FP is ever referred to as “it”. What's really being described is the world, “unable to reach enlightenment by itself, being composed mostly of rock, gas, dull witted bugs and microbes” The world is unable to reach Enlightenment on it's own and therefore, that's why the iterators were created. (Also- when you think about it, the description of "being composed of rock, gas, and dull witted microbes" doesn't even really fit FP's description lol)

Quick but necessary tangent, the concept of non-living things being apart of the cycle is a little confusing, and tricky to quickly answer without going deep into cycle lore discussion, (I have an entire post in drafts dedicated to clearing this up) but it's actually incredibly important for understanding what The Great Problem is! To shed some light, it's not that non-living matter are able to somehow comprehend the cycles, but that the entire physical world itself is actually an intrinsic part of the cycles.

If you leave a stone on the ground, and come back some time later, it's covered in dust. This happens everywhere, and over several lifetimes of creatures such as you, the ground slowly builds upwards. So why doesn't the ground collide with the sky? Because far down, under the very very old layers of the earth, the rock is being dissolved or removed. The entity which does this is known as the Void Sea. If you drill far enough into the earth you begin encountering a substance called Void Fluid. The deeper you go, the less rock and more Void Fluid. It's believed that there is a point where the rock completely gives way - below that would be the Void Sea. When that stone you placed on the ground has finally done its time in the sediments, it meets the Void Fluid and is dissolved, leaving the physical world. (Teal Subterranean pearl dialogue)

There's a reason that 'Cycles' is always plural in Rain World, because there's multiple of them! Organic life is in cycles, the physical bedrock of the world is in cycles, even the very concept of civilization is in cycles. In order to ascend everything, that means ascending not only all living things, but the entire physical universe itself! That's what the Great Problem really is :D (Also technicallyyy it's only ever referred to as "the big problem" and not "the great problem", the latter term stems entirely from the community but it's whatever i just wanted to quickly mention that. great problem definitely sounds cooler LOL)

In conclusion, Iterators are described as "Gifts to the World" not once, not twice, but three entire times throughout base game Rain World's dialogue, one from FP, one from LTTM, and one from the Benefactors. Rain World lore holds many unanswered, purposefully ambiguous questions, but the Iterator's purpose is not one of them!

If you're confused/interested in analysis of the Benefactor's motivations and perspectives on Ascension, I made a post a little while back containing my thoughts right here :)

[marzipanandminutiae]

no but genuinely I lose a little more patience for people who won't wear wool, leather, silk, or fur every day that I live in a world where plastic is increasingly the only damn kind of clothing you can find (or the only kind of fabric for sewing, even)

obviously, animal cruelty is horrible. I believe that even industries that rely on the deaths of animals should make their lives as good and their ends as humane as possible. and many of these industries need tighter environmental regulations on their production practices- some of the chemicals involved are highly toxic and ill-controlled at times

but at some point, you have to wake up to the fact that the only alternative we've found to date is destroying our planet

it's all plastic. and plastic is horrible for the world- the environment, humans, and especially animals. how cruelty-free is it to cause mass habitat loss? or climate change that disrupts food sources for those animals on a vast scale? how is that better than the deaths of a relatively small proportion of animals comparatively?

(and don't even start with "but pineapple leather! but cactus leather!" when those are still basically plastic due to heavy plastics use in their production processes. there is currently no non-plastic alternative to most animal-based textile products)

I've always tried to keep in mind that we all have to decide where our line is, that we all consume and there's no way of living in this world that doesn't take something from it. that for me, plastic clothing is to be avoided as much as possible, and for others, animal clothing products are to be avoided as much as possible. that the choice is equally valid

but I'm having a hard time seeing it as valid anymore when it just feels like trying to push the unpleasant part away from yourself so you can pretend your choice has no negative impacts. you're not wearing animal skin (or wool that an animal didn't even die to produce), so surely your way of doing things is better! no animals were harmed in the making of your outfit!

except. they were.

they and all the rest of us.

[naomi-the-red]

Hi, I work in advertising and marketing as a graphic designer and this is already 110% the case.

Customers were already well annoyed with stock photo usage in place of actual products, but could forgive it a bit for, say, Mom & Pop shops. Think of a restaurant using a stock image of a hamburger that in no way reflects the restaurant’s product.

Noticeable AI usage, however, seems to virtually kill even this small amount of goodwill, ramping consumer distrust up to 11. Where before they would be annoyed at being effectively lied to by the false advertising, some get outright hostile to AI.

One restaurant I came in to assist had generated AI images of a couple of their newer pies while they waited to replace them with actual photos. During this period, a noticeable chunk of sales dropped and they got a number of reviews that accused them of not only false advertising, but straight up being a scam (I guess there’s been some uptick of fake ghost kitchens using AI to lure in customers over sites like Doordash without any actual food to sell; just taking orders and making off with the sales).

I also like to believe that the slight uncanniness of even the best AI generated images is enough to trigger some customers’ “this is fake, and I don’t want to buy fake things” radar, though I have no concrete evidence for this.

Sure there will always be those people who don’t notice it or actively fall for the bullshit, but that’s increasingly a flash in the pan compared to the customers that entirely write off a place for even the slightest AI use.

Now, this is definitely anecdotal to my experience, but trust me when I say I do not work in an area where customers care about the morality of AI.

Absolutely no-one wants to be lied to.

Normalize this response

[womendeservehumanity]

men are truly rotten

My hatred for them is immeasurable and no one on this earth will ever convince me it’s unjustifiable. That it’s just a few bad apples and not a fucking collective. Yet I’ve had to hear these scrotes go on for the past week saying that “misandry” and men being alienated is the reason why they’re reactionary fascists who hate women when this is the shit they’ll say and support. You’re simply evil and it’s no one’s fault but your own. And for sure not the people that you and your gender have hated and oppressed for centuries.

As I’ve said before, it has never and will never be about false rape accusations. It’s about protecting men regardless of their innocence and it’s about silencing women. They see this as a sort of gotcha. “See this is how we feel” because they identify with these men and they see them being outed as them personally being outed. They see men raping women and being held accountable for it as a witch hunt. Male solidarity triumphs any empathy or humanity they have for women. They’re using this as a warning to other women. “This is what will happen if you speak out. We will humiliate you.”

Women are subjected to shit like this but I have to hear men victimize themselves because a woman said men are trash and it changed the entire trajectory of their lives for some reason. That gave them the impression that the world hates men but shit like this happens everyday and the topic both on the left and right is how men are victims whose feelings need to be prioritized.

And another thing. I’ve yet to see this supposed Princess treatment female victims get compared to male victims. I see both men and women cry of the double standards male victims of rape and abuse face compared to female victims. Female victims aren’t believed, are degraded, humiliated, harassed, threatened, silenced, etc. yet I’m told they’re given this grace that male victims could only ever dream of. Sure

To sum this up:

👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾

[rpgchoices]

Davrin's past and his Dalish clan and his vallaslin (all mentions I could find)

So much in the game is hidden behind banters between companions (which is ahhhh a bit annoying) so I compiled all the banter and information I found about Davrin's past.

Not really plot spoilers, just Davrin spoilers.

At the end I will summarize everything in a bullepoints list.

Bellara and Davrin banter:

Text here (link)

There are also a few other banters I did not record where it is implied Davrin does not care about the gods or some other late game revelations. The only thing he cares about (and mentions again later in game, in a main scene) is how people see Dalish and elves, and how to minimize the risk of humans hating elves even more.

Taash and Davrin's banter (text in description for each image)

Davrin's quests information:

Here are other mentions from Davrin first quest: Rook: How did it go? Davrin: Poorly. They felt like I rejected them. Rook: Did you? Davrin: Yeah, I suppose. Clan life wasn't for me. I had to get away. Rook: So then what happened? You're out in the world, looking for adventure… Davrin: Got my ass kicked. Went broke. Davrin: I couldn't go crawling back to my clan a failure. Doubt they'd take me back. It forced me to figure out what I was good at. Always had a knack for hunting.

Other info we get from the Halla quest is that: Davrin spent summers tending Halla as a kid alongside Eldrin, who is not his uncle, but like an uncle. So this is a case of Davrin wanting to spend time with Hallas, or being made to by his clan. Eldrin's vallaslin is Ghilan'nain:

So it could be that Davrin's new vallaslin might be Ghilan'nain too. But I think it is Andruil's or a mix of the two.

Davrin could have gotten the vallaslin to honor Eldrin (we know he is the only member of his clan - if he is part of his clan - Davrin has no trouble contacting, even if they seem to have not met each other's in a while). But we also know Davrin was a hunter.

Eldrin was also the one who taught Davrin what to hunt basically. In his first quest Davrin says "When I was a kid, I'd hunt just about anything. Rabbits, deer, fox. Eldrin gave that purpose. Taught me the Way of Three Trees. The Way of the Arrow, Way of the Bow, Way of the Wood."

This is from Andruil and if we look at all three vallaslin:

Emmrich and Davrin:

(they have some discussions about Davrin not believing in the Fade or liking it, this is the one which mentions the Dalish clan)

There are also a few other banters at the Lighthouse that mention the Fade and the sky. Mainly they are about Davrin being uncomfortable with the open space and stuff about him disbelieving the Fade: "Good. Because it's not the sky. Emmrich says it's the Fade. Me, I don't know what to think."

Final banter with Davrin:

So basically, the summary of what we know for certain is:

Davrin left his clan voluntarily because he felt restless, he did not care about tradition and lessons, and he wanted to see the world

He felt like he did not fit in his clan since he was a kid

He was also hunting everything he could find until Eldrin taught him the way of the Three Trees and to protect life by hunting darkness (monsters)

Eldrin is like an uncle for him and lives isolated (unsure if he is part of Davrin's clan) and Davrin used to spend summers helping him with the hallas

Davrin feels like he pissed off his clan, he rejected them and both Davrin and Bellara agree it would be hard for him to go back

In another dialogue, he says he actually did not think the clan would take him back at all even if he crawled back asking for help ("Like a failure" he says)

He does not regret joining the Grey Wardens and looking for adventures, but he seems to regret that came at the cost of leaving the clan and not being able to return or keep in contact with them

Also, he says the outside world was different from what he imagined

PART 2 HERE

[crimsonbubble]

arrogant ceo yunho who gets knocked down by his cute little intern

He works his employees to the bone, forcing long, gruelling hours and unnecessary overtime. He finds it amusing how easily anyone bends over backwards to please him. He loves knowing how many people hate him but can't afford to lose their jobs, so they never formally complain. You've been dealing with this for months, just trying to get through your internship without pulling your hair out, yet Mr. Jeong always finds a way to add more to your plate and make you redo reports.

Everyone has a breaking point, so when your recent report gets flagged, again, you can only purse your lips and turn to your computer to redo it—until you get called into his office. You swear you could feel your eye twitch, your nails digging into your palms as you clench your fists in an attempt not to break everything on your desk.

You march to his office, throwing open the door without knocking or waiting for approval. "Do you find joy in making your employee's lives miserable?" His door hadn't even been closed when you started in on him. Mr. Jeong quirks a brow, a scoff leaving his lips as he pushes reports aside on his desk. With a clenched jaw, you stalked over to his desk, wrapping his tie around his hand and yanking him forward.

His eyes widened as a staggered gasp left his mouth at your incredulous action. “Do you think… this is a laughing matter, Mr. Jeong?” Your voice is hauntingly smooth as you tug on his tie again. “I can terminate your contract for this stunt.” He internally groaned at how shaky his breath was as he talked. You chuckled dryly. “You won’t, though.” You stare into his eyes, glazed over with bottled emotions. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you know I do this job better than any employee here,” You tightened your grip on his tie. “And you’d be damned to lose me.” His office suddenly feels a lot hotter, his throat dry as he tries to focus on the fury in your eyes and not your soft lips that are pulled taut.

Mr. Jeong's lips press together, his eyes locked onto yours, trying to reclaim the authority that has suddenly slipped from his grasp. You can see the conflict brewing in his gaze—indignation fighting with undeniable acknowledgment. He knows you're right. You’ve always known. That’s why he pushes you the hardest, testing how far you'll go, seeing if you'll break. 

For a moment, he’s speechless, his bravado slipping as he struggles to find a response. “This—” he starts, his voice wavering slightly. “This is unacceptable behaviour.” But you don’t let go. Instead, you lean closer, and you can feel his breath hitch. He’s always been untouchable, but right now, he’s caught—like prey staring down the barrel of a loaded gun.

You feel something snap inside you—a dam breaking. All the pent-up frustration, all the swallowed rage. “You know what’s unacceptable?” you say, your voice low and laced with contempt. “Being treated like a machine. Expecting loyalty without respect. You think your power gives you the right to treat us like we’re beneath you. But not me. Not anymore.”

His face flushes, and for the first time since you started here, he looks unsure. Vulnerable. It's as if you've shattered the carefully crafted mask he wears every day. You can see him wavering, his confidence fraying like a thread about to snap. You’ve never seen him this way—off-balance, unguarded. There's a strange thrill in watching him come undone, knowing that you've managed to pierce the armour he hides behind.

“Let me be clear,” you say, loosening your grip just enough to let him breathe but not enough for him to pull away. “I will finish this report, and I will do it perfectly like I always do. But from now on, you're going to treat me with the respect I deserve—or I walk. And believe me, you will feel it when I’m gone.” 

He’s silent, the room thick with tension. Slowly, you release his tie, smoothing it back down against his chest. His breathing is uneven, his eyes wide, but he doesn’t stop you. He watches you like he’s never really seen you before, and maybe he hasn’t. Maybe you've been just another employee to him until now, another cog in the machine.

“Get back to work,” he says, but the command lacks its usual edge. You turn to leave, not bothering to wait for a dismissal this time. As you step through the doorway, you don’t slam the door shut. You leave it slightly ajar, knowing he’s still staring after you, something in the atmosphere between you changed forever.

Back at your desk, you start the report again, your hands steady, your mind clear. There's a new feeling thrumming in your chest—an unfamiliar, heady sense of power. For the first time, you think he might be the one who’s afraid to lose you. 

And that realization? It makes you smile.

-

Yunho sat in his office, staring at the office door you walked out of. His breathing came out hot and heavy, his heart racing in his chest. He knows he shouldn’t, but your fire is eating him alive. He can feel it crawl into every crevice of his being, lighting him up from the inside out. He leans back in his chair, trying to will his mind to be anywhere other than his pretty little intern.

Wait.

His pretty little intern…

His pretty little intern…

His pretty little intern…

His mouth fell agape, wondering where the audacity of his own thoughts was coming from. His attempt to think of anything but you was futile; no matter what he did, his thoughts found their way back to you. He ran a hand over his face, a dull throb in his head as he paced around his office. He shook his head with a huff, striding over to his door.

His eyes are scanning the cubicles and desks, watching as all employees avoid eye contact. He walks with a purpose, making his way to your desk. You nonchalantly sip on your coffee, holding a hand out to stop him before he can speak, opting to finish typing out the email before hitting send. He stared at you with disdain, his tongue poking his cheek as he sighed out his frustration. You turned in your chair, cocking your head. “My office. Now.”

“For what reason?” Yunho quirked a brow, taking notice as other workers stopped their work to witness the scene upon them. “Oh? Already forgot the stunt you pulled in my office?” Yunho leaned his hands on your desk, lowering his head to yours. “The only one pulling stunts is you, Mr. Jeong ‘never leaves his office for anything or anyone’ Yunho.” The other workers whispered among themselves, silently applauding you in your stance against your big, bad boss.

Yunho pulled out a folded paper from his jacket, straightening up before throwing it in front of you. “Alright then, here’s your final assignment. Appear in my office in two minutes or face termination.” A ghost of a smirk tugged at his lips as he put his hands in his pockets, making his way back to his office. You eyed the folded paper, scoffing at his absurdity. He actually handed you a termination letter.

You clutched the paper tightly as you got out of your seat. You threw it into your desk trashcan, grumbling as you made your way into his office. He sat against his desk, his hands still in his pockets yet his coat was off this time. He briefly took a hand out of his pocket, beckoning you over with a finger. As you stood in front of him, you could smell the cologne waving off him; a mix of earthy tones and sweetness.

Yunho waited for the click of his door, ensuring that it was closed before he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you into him. His lips found yours with ease. His kiss was rushed, fueled by the emotions from earlier. “You have no idea what you do to me.” His voice is hushed as he whispers against your lips. His hands stay busy on your waist, tugging your hips closer. You smile into the kiss, letting Yunho’s hands explore your body like he’s done many times before. You slide your hands lower, palming over the obvious bulge in his slacks.

“Fuck, I need you now.” Yunho turns you around, moving you to bend over his desk. He unceremoniously tugs your pants down your thighs, groaning as he eyes the lace trimming of your panties. Yunho shoved your panties to the side, letting his leaking cock bump against your clit. You jolt against his desk, clawing at the wood. Yunho leans against your back, taking your hands in his. The ring on his finger catches against your matching one.

“Gonna be good for me, honey? Be a good girl for daddy, huh?”

[plush-hugger]

im gonna use this as a trivia (??) kind of thing and just answer all of them at once because why not

do you like resting your head in a boys lap, or on his shoulder?: SHOULDER i love hugs

Sweaters or hoodies?: arent those the same thing....

Netflix or clubbing on a Friday night?: a secret third option : going to the mall and buying each other stuff

Denim or leather jackets?: BOTH but i really like leather its prettier

What’s your favorite thing about boys?: eues.... eyes are so prety....aaaaa

How do you like your tea?: absolutely fucking DROWNED in creamer/milk and then like 10000 pounds of sugar

How do you like your coffee?: same as tea also i cannot for the life of me drink hot coffee its only acceptable if im cold otherwise its iced coffee all the time

Favorite fall color?: orange ^_^

Can you drive?: not yet

Do you have a crush?: my BOYFRIEND

What’s your favorite sport?: uhhhhh.h does eating count

Are you a pastel, neon, or neutral color mlm?: none of those i like muted colors and dark neutrals

Do you wear makeup?: sometimes? i dont know much abt makeup honestly all i do is mascara and a little bit of eyeshadow but i like it when my boyfriend does my makeup because he makes me look pretty :)

Do you like boys taller or shorter than you?: originally i preferred a guy as tall as me (im like really fucking short so i didnt really like taller people because like i dont like feeling small) but my boyfriend is like 9 inches taller than me and honestly i dont care because he doesnt make fun of me for my height ^_^

Do you prefer hand kisses, or nose kisses?: BOTH AND ALSO FOREHEAD KISSES THEURE SO FREAKING CUTE

What’s your favorite cologne smell?: idk.... that one blue fancy cologne i used to wear and my boyfriend snatched it from me and keeps the bottle so he can buy another bottle for me because he used the rest of it..... i have no idea what the name of it is but it smells really nice

Ideal date?: i could go on i dont care what it is as long as its with him but ideally we'd go hang out in the field by his apartment with some snacks and then go back home and watch movies and then make bracelets together and whatnot

What’s more romantic: cabin getaway, or tropical vacation?: uhhh no to both of those i dont like any sort of getaways i dont like unfamiliar places

What’s your favorite mlm movie?: i mean. its not a movie and its not explicitly stated that theyre gay but. nbc hannibal.......

Do you believe in love at first sight?: YES ABSOLUTELY

Have you ever been in love?: YES AND I STILL AM AND I WILL BE FOREVER

Do you like sitting in a boys lap, or do you prefer when a boy sits in yours?: neither because for one i feel like im crushing him if i sit in his lap and also at the same time im bony as hell so i dont wanna be uncomfortable if he sits in my lap so we just cuddle laying down

Metal or cloth bracelets?: uhhh..,. cloth but i make mine out of beads :3

What’s one of your favorite memories of being in love?: EVERYTHING HELLO but when we first met it was so cute :(

Do you tilt your head to the left or right when you kiss?: i dont pay attention enough to know

Would you like to take his last name when you marry?: FUCK no my last name will NOT be dawkins thats embarrassing :sob: we both mutually agreed that he'd take my last name he was like "yeah i dont blame you its ugly as hell"

Do you want kids?: cat children........and if he comes around to the idea maybe we could adopt an actual kid someday

Do you interlock fingers when you hold hands?: yes ABSOLUTELY

What’s a compliment you’d love to receive from a boy?: he always tells me random shit that absolutely kills me like he said my nose was the perfect shape one time like hello??? sir that is so random but also thank you?????? and he compliments my eyes a lot and bhsghfd.gs

What’s better, waking up to him in the morning, or falling asleep next to him at night?: falling asleep w him because i know his lazy ass will not wake up until like 1 pm if its morning

Any turn offs?: i am NOT answering that

What makes you blush?: i do not know how to answer this like. hello normal human things?

Coffee shop or dog park date?: field...

Big spoon or little spoon?: I WANNA BE BIG SPOON SO BAD BUT IM ALWAYS LITTLE SPOON BECAUSE IM SHORTER AUGH

What first catches your eye?: his eyes bbecause hes so prety

Would you enjoy it if he bought you flowers?: not a whole boquet because what the fuck would i do with that but if it was one flower id be like aw :( thank you :(:(

Do you think matching couple outfits are cute or cheesy?: honestly i fw those one time we matched pjs and it was some orange shirt and garfield pants i got him for christmas 4 him and then i wore some blue or white shirt and then blue star pants that he let me keep :3 we were matching pete the cat and garfield

Have you ever asked a boy out?: i mean technically he asked me out but i guess yeah

Which is cuter, him being confident, or shy?: CONFIDENT I LOVE WHEN HES CONFIDENT IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM COMFORTABLE

What’s one of your fave love songs?: a LOT but like out of our 50000 songs i might be a little biased but i like the one i wrote for him :3

mlm asks!

I never see these so I decided to make one lol~

Do you like resting your head in a boys lap, or on his shoulder?

Sweaters or hoodies?

Netflix or clubbing on a Friday night?

Denim or leather jackets?

What’s your favorite thing about boys?

How do you like your tea?

How do you like your coffee?

Favorite fall color?

Can you drive?

Do you have a crush?

What’s your favorite sport?

Are you a pastel, neon, or neutral color mlm?

Do you wear makeup?

Do you like boys taller or shorter than you?

Do you prefer hand kisses, or nose kisses?

What’s your favorite cologne smell?

Ideal date?

What’s more romantic: cabin getaway, or tropical vacation?

What’s your favorite mlm movie?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Have you ever been in love?

Do you like sitting in a boys lap, or do you prefer when a boy sits in yours?

Metal or cloth bracelets?

What’s one of your favorite memories of being in love?

Do you tilt your head to the left or right when you kiss?

Would you like to take his last name when you marry?

Do you want kids?

Do you interlock fingers when you hold hands?

What’s a compliment you’d love to receive from a boy?

What’s better, waking up to him in the morning, or falling asleep next to him at night?

Any turn offs?

What makes you blush?

Coffee shop or dog park date?

Big spoon or little spoon?

What first catches your eye?

Would you enjoy it if he bought you flowers?

Do you think matching couple outfits are cute or cheesy?

Have you ever asked a boy out?

Which is cuter, him being confident, or shy?

What’s one of your fave love songs?

[simandy]

I've made a gif once of a butterfly flapping it's wings in black and white and, for some reason today, two people from ED tumblr have already used it.

I think I've never talked about it here, but I have an Eating Disorder. It's under control now, and im not one of those girls who look like they have an ED, so when i tell people this they don't believe me, but i do, and i suffer from it.

I don't have much to say, any time i see those numbers and codes in your bios, it breaks my heart. I know your minds better than anyone, i know the revolving trauma and the paradoxical thoughts. I know how it is to look at another woman, then at yourself and the feeling of despair because you don't feel enough. I know how it is to work out until you almost pass out on an empty stomach. But you know what else I know? That this is worthless. Because there isn't an "enough" that is enough for you. I know you know it, deep down in your heart there's a little voice that tells you this. A little voice that keeps whispering: "will I be able to stop?" This voice is your will to live. It is trying to save you, to bring your joy back. No iced coffee will bring it back, no rice cake, no vegetable soup with zero salt will fill this hole in your chest, dear. You will become thin enough to make your thumb and middle finger around your arm and it will make you happy for 5 seconds, until your goal moves to your thumb and your pinky. And I know I'm here, talking about it, risking a relapse by simply thinking about it, but to me it is worthy. Because only God knows how many of you will read this post and snap back to reality and this. This is worth it.

You are loved. You are someone's darling. Even between you guys, you have friends who you care about who are in this community with you. Don't let them go. It's easier to recover with a friend, it's easier to leave the spiral if you join forces.

If you know someone who's showing signs of having an ED, hit them up. Talk to them, show them they're loved, tell them how beautiful you think they are, unpromptedly, unexpectedly. Because i know that's exactly what you think, and they should know it too.

Stay safe. You are loved, and there is nothing you can do, there's no way you can look that will make you stop being loved.

[yamumsyadadd]

mariquita

“Y/n? I want to introduce you to some people. This is Alexia and this is Jenni. They have adopted you and will be taking you home in a few days. Does that sound good?” 

“Home?” 

“Yeah, Pequeño, home with us.” The tall dark haired one spoke. She had a nice smile, calm, safe. The other one looked how you felt uncomfortable, anxious, wishing the world would swallow you whole. 

Over the next few days, Jenni and Alexia had more visits to the group home, eventually taking you home to your new home. It was an apartment, near the beach. It was light and airy, clean and tidy, but not lacking warmth, photos of them on the walls, other people, people you could only assume was their family. 

“Do you want to see your room cari?” You nodded shyly, following their lead up the hallway. 

“This is the bathroom” pointing to a door on the left, “this one is the laundry, you won’t need to worry about that though.” Oh but you would. How else would you have clean clothes?

“That one at the end of the hall is mine and Jenni’s room. You can come in at anytime okay? This, this is your room.” 

It was big. A big bed in the corner of the room with clean, soft bedding. A bookcase in the other corner, a toy box and a desk. 

“All by myself?”

“What?”

“I sleep by myself?” 

“Yes cari. This room” Jenni motions around, “this is all for you. We will need to go shopping and buy some clothes for you. We can buy you more toys or books. Whatever you want.” 

“No thank you. I have my bag.” A sad look was shared between the two adults while you walked around   Observing but never actually touching anything. 

“Do you want to watch TV? Jenni is going to make dinner. We can watch TV or play? Whatever you want.”

“I can help clean? I’m good at that. You can show me where everything is and I’ll clean.” 

“No y/n. You don’t need to do anything like that here. We are the adults, you’re a child. You get to be a child here okay?” 

You didn’t believe a word coming out of Alexia’s mouth. Adults say things like that all the time but then change their mind, it would only be a matter of time before they did. 

Secretly, you took note of where everything went. Where the dishwasher tablets were, the laundry detergent, the mop and vacuum. You were sure going to clean up whatever mess you made. A child is to be seen and not heard right? 

That’s exactly what you did, after every shower, after every meal, after reading or playing the next thing you would do is clean up. You kept everything exactly where it was when you came so neither Jenni or Alexia would get mad. 

—————————————————————————

When they took you to training for the first time it was very overwhelming. Jenni was excited, alexia was more cautious. You were much like alexia, shy, introverted and uncomfortable in big crowds. 

“Amor, stop. She looks scared, just let her calm down a little?” Alexia pulled Jenni aside after trying to introduce yet another teammate to you. The way you picked your fingers and your eyes were wide with fear, she could tell you were uncomfortable. 

It didn’t get any better over the next few weeks and ultimately they both decided it would be better if Alexia’s mami looked after you. That was horrible. The entire time you were there you cried, afraid they wouldn’t come back for you, so much so that you made yourself sick and Eli called them to come back. 

“Hey, hey, Cari. It’s okay. Jenni and I are here.” The scene they walked into broke their heart. You were sat in a corner, rocking yourself back and forth covered in your own sick. Alexia didn’t care, she pulled you into her arms, rocking yourself side to side. 

“She thought you left her, for good.” Eli spoke up, rubbing a hand up and down alexia’s back as she soothed you. 

—————————————————————————

The next few months went the same, while you came out of your shell at home and around a few of the girls, as soon as it was a bigger crowd you retreated. Climbing into either alexia’s lap or Jenni’s and shoving your head up their shirts. Not once did that complain even though you were stretching out their shirts. 

Slowly though, the family that was built started getting ripped apart. Alexia and Jenni tried hard not to fight in front of you but you could hear them when you were up late at night cleaning your room and secretly reading. 

“They fight a lot.” You said to no one in particular as you licked your ice cream. 

Leila and Mapi shared a look over your head, “who do pequeño?” 

“Mami and mama. They think I’m sleeping but I’m not. I hear them. I bet they are fighting right now and that’s why you took me for ice cream before dinner. That’s not allowed.” A silent pause happened before you spoke up again, “Ice cream is bad for adults, mami says you have to run extra when mama eats it.” 

They both realised how perceptive you were. You were quiet, but even at the age of six you knew when things were wrong and boy were they wrong. 

Mami and mama kept fighting and you kept getting sent with Tia Alba or Abuela but on the extra bad days it was Leila and Mapi. Leila and Mapi were the best, always giving you ice cream, buying you the colourful cold drinks and the little toys from the arcade but it added to your mami and mamas fights. 

“You’re not taking her with you Jennifer! Her whole life is here!” 

“Then what do you want me to do? Abandon her with you?” Their fight had been going for a long time, you were supposed to be in your room playing with the new barbies that Mapi got but the yelling was being too loud that you couldn’t think about it anymore. So there you were, sat in the hallway listening to them fight. 

When they finally stopped was when they noticed you, hands over your ears and tears streaming down your face, Alexia all but ran to you, scooping you up and laying you in bed. She stayed with you all night, and many more nights after that. 

From that day on they weren’t fighting with you there, but you knew they were still fighting. When Leila came and got you from the crèche that the club set up for you, you knew something was very wrong. Leila’s face was red, like yours after you cried. 

“What’s wrong lele?” You cupped her face as she bent down to hug you. 

“Nothing princesa. Let’s get some ice cream yeah?” You nodded excitedly, waving goodbye to the carers and pulling Leila out of the room. 

It took a few weeks to find out what the problem was. Your mami was crying a lot and sleeping in bed with you instead of with mama. You overheard some of the bigger girls talking, “Jenni’s going to Paris.” You knew who Jenni was, obviously, your mama but you didn’t know what Paris was. 

So when you got home that night, naturally you asked but that caused yet another argument. 

“Mami didn’t tell me! Don’t yell at her no more! It was pats who said it but she didn’t know I was there cause I wasn’t supposed to be.” You stood up on your chair at the dinner table, trying to make them stop fighting. 

“Cari, sit down.” Alexia motioned for you to sit but you crossed your arms and frowned. 

“Stop fighting and I will.”  

“Fine.” So you sat. Arms still crossed and glaring at your mami. 

“pequeño, I am going to Paris, but I won’t be gone forever.” 

“Just for a sleepover?”

“No pequeño, for a little longer than a sleepover. You know how mami and mama play for Barça?” You nod, of course you knew that. “Well, I’m going to go play for a club in Paris, like Barça.” 

“Are they better than Barça?” You heard your mami scoff. 

“No, maybe with my help they will be.” 

“Are you going to get a new mami and new me?”

“No! Never pequeño. No one can replace you or mami. And I’ll come visit, and mami will bring you to me whenever we can. Okay?” 

“No.” 

“No?” Jenni shared a look with Alexia. Unsure how to proceed. 

“You’re going to a new place, a new team with new lele and Mapi and-and that means a new me and mami.” You pushed your plate as hard as you could, watching it slide off the other side of the table and then you ran as fast as your little legs could take you. Climbing into the box in your wardrobe to hide. 

“Cariño?” Your mamis voice was loud. She knew your favourite hiding spot and that you’d be in there now. “Mi vida. Can you come out please?” 

A tiny “No” was heard, muffled by the extra blankets that were kept in that box. 

“I need to talk to you but I can’t do it when you’re hiding.” Slowly you came out, not fully removing yourself from the box, just your head. 

“Mama isn’t going to replace you okay? There is only one y/n Hermoso-Putellas and that’s you.” 

“But-“

“No buts bebé. Mama is feeling a little upset, do you think you can go talk to her? Cheer her up?”

You got out quickly, leaving behind a trail of blankets and one of your socks, barreling into your mama and apologising over and over again. 

—————————————————————————

That’s how the next year went, you’d go every few weeks with Tia Alba to Paris or mama would come visit you, but she never slept in her bed with mami and they never talked about anything but you. Abuela said it was because mami and mama weren’t together anymore but they still loved you all the same. 

Then mama came back to Spain but not back to you or mami. It made you both sad. Because you started big school, you barely got to see mama and that made you have a lot of big feelings. 

You made mami cry a lot because you weren’t very nice to her and Abuela said it hurt her feelings but no one ever asked about your feelings. Lola asked though, after you ran away from mami she caught you like she catches the balls. 

“Mi Princesa, what are you doing running away from your mami like that?” Her spare hand coming to tickle your stomach. 

“I don’t like her!” 

“Woah that’s not a nice thing to say, is it?” You shook your head and frowned. “Wanna tell me why?” 

“She made mama leave. Mama leaved me and mami and now she won’t come home. They are supposed to kiss like used to but they won’t no more.” 

Unbeknownst to you, Alexia and Jenni were both behind you, listening to everything you said. 

“No bebé! No, Mami didn’t make me leave. I promise. Mami and I love each other still but in a different way.” 

“Not Like tia alba and Mapi? More like me and lele?” You asked, slightly confused. 

“Yes, just like that. Wait alba and Mapi?” 

“They was kissing each other like you and mami used to when we got ice cream.” 

Lola put you down, realising that you’d just shared a very big secret that Alexia now needed to go deal with. They agreed you would spend the night at the hotel with Jenni before she left again the following morning. 

Mami, Tia Alba and Abuela had a fake Christmas to celebrate with you since you were going to Madrid to be with mama and her family. Madrid was a long way away, Mami said it equaled 3 naps in the car or 1 nap on the plane. 

Mamas family was very loud. Almost too loud but mama made sure that you weren’t overwhelmed. You got lots of presents, even ones from Mami even though she gave you some already. There was a lot of food and a lot of singing. Everyone was very happy, and you happily fell asleep curled up in your Abuelos lap in front of the fire. 

—————————————————————————

It was a random Wednesday when mama picked you up from school. You were excited, but also confused. If she picked you up it was on a Friday and that was rare. 

“Where’s Mami?” 

“Oh I see how it is. You’re gotten too big for me huh?” 

“Don’t be silly mama. Mami usually gets me on wednesdays.” 

“Well Pequeño, I have a surprise for you!” 

You felt all giddy inside, you were just a kid after all and surprises were fun. She loaded you into the car and drove until you reached a building that looked like the one you and mami lived in. 

“This is my new apartment bebé, yours too. You’ll have your own room like at mamis and I’ll be right across from you.” 

“But you live in Madrid?” 

Jenni got down on her knees, “I’m moving back here. To be with you” she bumped your nose with her finger, pulling you into her, “and I’ll be playing at Barça again so we need to get you a New Jersey.”

“You and mami will kiss again! That was my birthday wish and it came true!” The smile on Jenni’s face was immediately wiped off. She didn’t have the heart to break it to you, so she let you continue on rambling about how Nala and you would have so much fun here and mami would love it too. 

The first night you stayed at mamas new apartment you cried and cried until you passed out in her bed. You didn’t understand why Mami and Nala weren’t coming and why Mami didn’t kiss mama goodbye like the past times. 

Alexia’s heart broke into even more pieces when Jenni sent her a photo of you curled up on her chest, your hand gripping her shirt for dear life and the obvious wet patches. Going through a break up was hard at the best of times, but adding a child who didn’t understand into the mix? Worse. Every time you asked if your mama could pick you up from school or come to your little kickers game, she had to explain again that Jenni couldn’t. 

—————————————————————————

The next three years continue on as the others. You’re getting better at school and football, much to Mapi and lele delight you love being a defender. The one thing that confuses you though is sometimes your Mami and mama kiss and then sometimes they don’t even look at each other. Abuela says they are silly and tia alba says bad words. 

You don’t cope well much with new people, that was proven when Tia Alba bought a new girl to Sunday dinners and when she tried to kiss Alba, you threw a shoe at her. 

“Oye, y/n that’s not nice. You do not throw things at people.” Your Mami had grabbed your arms, stopping you from running away. 

“No! She’s being mean to Mapi. She’s only allowed to kiss Mapi like you are only allowed to kiss Mami!” 

“Pequeño-“ 

“Let go of me! Mami said no kissing anyone else but her! Tia Alba is the same! Only Mapi and Mami!” You finally got out of her grasp enough to push her over, running upstairs to Abuelas room and climbing under the bed. 

“Let me Ale.” Alba gave her sister a sympathetic smile before turning to follow you. “Pequeño?” Silence. “Pequeñoooooo? Come here Mariquita.” She grabbed your ankle and pulled you out. You were both sporting matching pouts. 

“Mapi will be sad. You can’t do that to Mapi!” 

“Mi vida, who told you I can only kiss Mapi?” 

“Mama.” You crossed your arms and stamped your foot, “mama is always right.” 

“What else did your mama say hm?” 

“That Mami isn’t allowed to kiss anyone else but her.” 

“Is your mama allowed to kiss others?” 

“Yes. She has a special friend. I don’t like her though because whenever she comes I have to go to my room and Andy barks at her.” 

“Does your Mami know?” 

“No mama said that only she’s allowed to have special friends and Mami isn’t.” 

“Right. Well, Mapi and I were special friends, but we aren’t anymore. You know Ana who plays with Mami and mama?” You nod your head, you do know Ana. She’s very tall and blonde, she helps you tie lele’s laces together too. “She’s mapis special friend now and Judith is mine. I really like Judith and I want you to like her too.” 

“You like her more than me?” 

“No. There’s no one I’d ever like more than you Mariquita.” Alba started leaving sloppy kisses all over your face before carrying you downstairs to you Mami. You had to apologise to Judith and give her a hug but then she agreed to play with you so you were happy. 

You didn’t notice the conversation between Tia Alba, Abuela and Mami. Maybe that’s because Judith was playing farms wrong and you had to keep correcting her and but you didn’t miss the tears in your mamis eyes when she came to take you home. 

The fighting started again after that and you never saw your mamas special friend again. The fighting didn’t just happen when Mami picked you up but at training too. When you were playing hide and seek with Pina and Cata, you heard your Mami crying to Mapi. 

You wanted to go see but if you went Pina and Cata would find you and you’d lose. So you stayed and listened. 

“Mariquita told alba that Jenni has a special friend and that I’m not allowed to kiss anyone but her. She’s fucking with the girls head Mapi!” 

“Ale, she’s 7, maybe she heard wrong.” 

“She didn’t. I spoke to Jenni, she said she was seeing someone but she was supposed to be seeing me only! That was the conversation we had, she promised me that she wouldn’t see other people.” 

Your mama had lied and made your Mami sad. All of your trusted adults said that lying was bad and making someone sad wasn’t nice. So the only logical conclusion was that your mama was a big meanie. You made sure to tell her that when she tried to take you home after training. Screaming bloody murder and kicking and biting her until she let go. 

Your Mami was the last to you as a crowd of teammates had began to form. 

“Don’t make me go with her Mami. Please Mami. She’s mean! I wanna go home with you and Nala. Please Mami.” You begged as you cried into her arms. Alexia looked at Jenni with wide eyes before comforting you. 

Mami did take you home with her that night and bribed you with ice cream so you’d tell her what happened. 

“Mama made you sad and she lied. That is mean. Mama is mean.” 

“Mariquita, where did you hear that?” 

“I heard you and Mapi. I was hiding in the laundry basket from Cata and Pina because we were playing and you were crying. I wanted to hug you but I didn’t want to lose so I stayed hiding.” You shrugged nonchalantly as you continued to shovel ice cream into your mouth. 

Alexia realised then that they were both fucking with your head. You weren’t really a talker, but you were a listener. You caught everything and knew everyone’s secrets. Expect you didn’t know what a secret was so you just shared your new information with whoever was closest. 

—————————————————————————

When Barça lost to Lyon in the champions league final, all you could do was cry. Both your Mami and mama were crying, so was Mapi, lele and pats. Somehow you managed to be standing freely away from Tia Alba and Tia Miriam. 

The barricade wasn’t that high. All you had to do was stand on the seat and jump. Mami was still laying on the floor crying and she always said that your hugs made her tears go away. So you did what you thought was right and jumped over. 

You ran as fast as you could, which for a 7 year old was pretty fast, hurling yourself at your mamis body on the floor. 

“Mari?” She sat up slightly, noticing the security guards and waving them off, “what are you doing down here? Where’s Alba?” 

“You were crying. When you cry at home, I hug you then you stop crying. Please don’t cry Mami.” You tried to wipe her tears but they just kept coming and she squeezed you tighter. 

Eventually you both got up and went around hugging the other girls and your mama. Even though you were mad at your mama, she still needed your hugs too. 

When the tall blonde lady from the other team came to talk to Mami, you made sure to stick your tongue out at her when she said hello. 

“Mari, you need to be nice to Ada please.” 

“No, she made you cry.” 

“I didn’t mean to make your mum cry, I promise.” 

“Did you say sorry? Mami says you need to say sorry even if it’s an accident.” 

“I did, I even gave her a hug.” 

“Well I didn’t hear it so say it again.” Both adults laughed at you, Ada saying something about how you were just like Alexia. Obviously, she was your Mami. 

—————————————————————————

You were supposed to be in England when your Mami broke her knee. She was very cranky for a long time and everyone was scared of her. Not you though. You got new toys out of it and new books. But there was a new person around, mamis friend Olga. She didn’t play how you liked so whenever she came over you went to your room. 

Alexia, in her depression didn’t notice it. Abuela did though. She saw how you retreated more. How you didn’t want to play football, or talk to your mama on the phone. You just hide away in your room, old habits dying hard of cleaning. It was something both Jenni and alexia had worked hard to get you out of the habit of doing. You didn’t need to clean the bathrooms, or was your laundry. That was their job, but Mami couldn’t do any of her jobs anymore so you did. 

A loud smashing noise woke you from your nap. It was summer break and you’d spent all morning at the beach with Alba and Judith so you were tired. 

“You’re not taking my fucking daughter Jennifer! Over my dead body.”

“She’s our daughter alexia. And it wouldn’t be forever. Just until you can look after yourself and her because god knows you can’t!” The fighting was back. Something you’d gotten for 8th birthday was a phone. It only had a few numbers in it but the only one you needed was abuelas. She answered very quickly and you were able to give her a run down of what was happening. When she said she was on her way, you snuck out of the apartment, taking Nala with you and heading down to the front foyer to wait. 

It was very long before she arrived, running through the doors and barely stopping to notice you sitting there. 

“Mi vida! What’s happening?” 

“Dunno. I was sleepin’ then Mami started swearing and mama said she was taking me away.” 

“Alba, take her to the car. Now.” Abuelas voice was scary, the type she used to yell at Mami and alba when they were fighting or when Nala chewed her tv remote. 

Eli could hear the yelling from the hallway, using her key to let herself in. 

“I don’t fucking care Alexia! She’s not staying here. You’re a pathetic excuse of a mother right now!”

“ENOUGH!” Both women turned in shock to see Eli standing there, face full of fury. “Your daughter rang me because you were both screaming at each other. She was scared and wanted to leave. I bet neither of you noticed that she left!” 

“No eli. She’s in her room.”

“She’s in my car Jennifer. She packed a bag and took Nala downstairs and waited. Alba put her in the car. Neither of you deserve that little girl. All you two do is fight and treat each other like shit. In front of her! What kind of example are you setting?” 

“Mami-“

“No Alexia. I’m not done. Jennifer, you will not move that child to the other side of the world. Her football is here, her school and her friends that she worked so hard to make. You’re here often enough that you will see her and I will bring her on holidays. Alexia, pull your shit together. She relies on you not the other way around. She will stay at my house for now, Nala too. When you’re ready to be grown ups, you know where to find her.” 

It didn’t take long for mama to come but it was to say she was leaving and you wouldn’t be coming with her. She explained that she’d be going to Mexico, you understood geography a lot better now since you had just turned 8. She was going far away, further than ever before and leaving you behind yet again. 

Something changed that day, it wasn’t the first time you had been left behind but this was your mama. The person who was supposed to stay with you and love you. 

Towards the end of 2022, alexia was finally running again. Rehab was going as planned and you were continuing to do well in school. She had planned to take you, Tia Alba and Abuela to the Maldives for Christmas. It was supposed to be a fun time. Just the four of you. Nala couldn’t come but she was excited when she got dropped off at Pats house.  

When you came back school had started again, Mami had promised everyday she’d be the one to pick you up from school and she was. Until a stranger came. She wasn’t completely a stranger, she was mami’s friend but you didn’t know her. Your refusal to go home with her caused a scene and Abuela ended up getting called. 

Your Mami and mama had taught you a lot of important things, like when someone was sad you gave them a hug, never take food from a stranger and never ever go with a stranger. Only a trusted adult and Olga was not a trusted adult. All the trusted adults knew the safe word, it was the word they’d say and you knew Mami or mama sent them but she didn’t. 

“Mari, what happened at school today?” Mami asked while watching tv on the couch. 

“I did some maths, made a volcano explode. A stranger tried to take me. Oh! And I played on the monkey bars with Isabel then she braided my hair!” 

“A STRANGER WHAT!” She jolted you around. 

“Yeah at pick up. You didn’t come and she said you were friends but she didn’t know the safe word so I ran back inside and made them call Abuela.” It was silent for a few moments before it clicked. Alexia was stuck doing an interview and had asked Olga to pick you up, completely forgetting to tell her about the safe word. 

“Olga came, yes?” You nodded, “you know Olga. You’ve met Olga before?” 

“Just because I’ve met her doesn’t mean I know her Mami. What if the mean Real Madrid girls took me from school? I’ve met them but I don’t know them. Plus she didn’t know the safe word and trusted adults know the safe word.” 

“You’re right Mari. How about this weekend we go to the beach and you can really know Olga? We can take Nala and have a nice lunch.” You thought it over for a moment, you did like the beach and you liked most of mamis other friends, expect the Real Madrid goalie. You did not like her at all. After much consideration you nodded your head. Mami pulled you back into her lap and that’s how you stayed for the rest of the night. 

Meeting new people wasn’t easy. You got Mami and mama when you were three but now you were eight. During those five years you’d met so many new people, some were good and some not so good. There was always something subconsciously that made you freak out, especially when it was in a foreign place. 

“Hola y/n. I’m Olga.” She squatted down so she was a little smaller than you. Instead of responding you just hid behind your Mami. 

“she gets a bit nervous around new people. Mariquita? Can you please say hi?” Alexia felt you shake your head from behind her, she let out a sigh but continued on. 

They both tried to include you in conversation but you only ever stared at Olga. Mami had a lot of friends, none of them quite like her. She was what Abuela would describe as a espíritu libre. Almost the opposite of Mami. 

“Are you and my Mami having sex?” Both adults chocked on their food. 

“Mari!”

“What? I asked it in a polite way no?” 

“Where did you learn that?” 

“You’re deflecting. Abuela says you and Tia alba do that when you don’t want to answer.” Olga just watched as you both stared each other down. 

“Do you know what sex is?” Olga asked, she didn’t mean to ask it out loud so she was just as shocked as alexia was when the words came out. 

“Yes. I googled it. I’m not stupid you know.” 

“What do you mean you googled it?” 

“I don’t understand what you aren’t understanding Mami? I am speaking the same language!” 

“You’re eight. You shouldn’t be googling things like that! Where did you learn the word?” 

“Mapi.” 

“Of course. Please explain how you and Maria got on the conversation of sex.” 

“She was talking to Ingrid and I was hiding in the locker room because Ana was gonna get me and she said to Ingrid ‘should we have our post win sex early”. You mocked the way Mapi spoke, earning a laugh from Olga who only got a glare from your Mami. 

“I’m going to kill her.” 

After lunch Olga let. Instead of Mami driving home, she drove straight to Mapis apartment and basically smashed the door down. You got a front row seat to the chewing out the Spaniard got. Her face red in embarrassment. To you, it was very funny but to Mami and Mapi, it was not. 

—————————————————————————

On the 30th of April, the time finally came for your Mami to return playing. She was back in training a few weeks earlier which meant you were spending more time with Abuela after school. 

When Mami got subbed on the crowd went wild. Everyone was standing and clapping. Abuela, Tia Alba and Olga were all crying and when you asked why, Tia alba explained they were happy tears. It didn’t really make much sense to you, you understood she was hurt and couldn’t play for a while but you didn’t understand the significance that your Mami held to the club or to women’s football in general. 

FC Barcelona won the champions league that year. This was the first time you truly understood what it meant. They were the best time in Europe. Mamis important Ibiza holidays always included you, but this year they wouldn’t. Mama was back and you’d be going on holiday with her before the World Cup. 

Mama took you back to Madrid, where you spent three weeks. Not once did you talk about Mami, or Tia alba but you did talk about Mexico and how mama really loved it there and wanted you to visit. Right before you flew back to Barcelona, mama gave you a special necklace. It was a love heart locket, on one side was a picture of you, Mami and mama when you were little and the other side was blank. 

“When we win the World Cup, there will be a picture of the three of us to go on the other side.” It was a promise. 

You celebrated your ninth birthday in Australia. Mami and mama were allowed to come celebrate with Tia Alba, Abuela and Olga. There was a weird feeling around the table but you didn’t care. You had most of your favourite people and Olga and that’s all you needed. 

[condemning-twitter]

Alright, since the idiot above keeps trying to tell me (a German who took advanced classes in history) what wing Nazis were... let's wrap this up.

Mr. "mustache man wouldn't lie to us" probably also believes that the Democratic People's Republic of Korea is a democratic republic and not... a dictatorship. But shockers! Totalitarian leaders are fully capable and willing to rebrand a term for propaganda purposes. In the case of the NSDAP, they rebranded the term "socialist" to gain the sympathies of the working class who were, at the time, struggling financially.

What this user is referring to is authoritarianism, not leftism. Notably, authoritarianism can occur independently from the "left vs right" political spectrum, as "authoritarianism vs libertarianism" is its very own political spectrum.

This is why infringements on your freedoms such as a ban on guns, free speech, and blind loyalty have nothing to do with being "left wing" or "right wing".

The core values of leftism are

(1) Freedom: Emancipating people from being held under forceful control, and giving them opportunities to exercise conscious choice over their lives without arbitrary constraints or coercion.

(2) Equality: Bringing about situations where people are of the same or similar standing in certain important respects, or by certain criteria of measurement.

(3) Justice: Ensuring that people are treated and provided for fairly, adequately, and correctly, according to their rightful due.

(4) Solidarity: Recognising the reciprocal bonds and shared purposes that tie people together, and their duties to support each other in their mutual common interest.

(5) Pluralism: Acknowledging that people are separate individuals who belong to various groups, and encouraging people to foster the many heterogeneous and incommensurable aspects of their identities.

(6) Progress: Pursuing the continuous onward advance of society by developing ever new and better ways to bring about improvements in people’s lives.

Source

Nazis incorporated NONE of that.

(1) Freedom: Nazis removed various freedoms from their citizens with the "Reichstagsbrandverordnung", overriding articles 114, 115, 117, 118, 123, 124 and 153 of the Weimar Republic. They restricted freedom of speech and speech, right to assembly, and the German "Briefgeheimnis" (privacy of letters), and enabled house searches.

(2) Equality: Nazis promoted a racial hierarchy with "Aryans" at the top. Gender roles were promoted, for example, through the establishment of the BDM which was separated from the general HJ.

(3) Justice: No justice or fairness without equality. See the point above.

(4) Solidarity: Nazis systematically excluded groups they deemed "unworthy". Exclusionary solidarity is not solidarity, otherwise nepotism and corruption would count as "solidarity" among capitalists.

(5) Pluralism: Nazis imposed a homogenous state identity upon all its citizens and purged all those who did not fit that standard. Not only did this logic apply to ethnic groups but also to sexualities, gender identities, disabilities, political affiliations, ...

(6) Progress: Now, read all of the above again and try telling me Nazis were "progressive".

For further comparisons between leftist and Nazi values, check out the following post.

Huh. Funny. So you are telling me that IN SPITE of Mustache Man believing Communism (and by extension Socialism) to be a Jewish conspiracy, he rejected both. The WHY DID HE PROMOTE IT? Seeing the error?

Quite obviously, "Socialism" meant something different to Mustache Man than to modern Socialists. In other words, Hitler never intended to practice Socialism and DEFINITELY not in the way we know it.

Side notes:

Excessive use of "..." it sounds like you are an edgy 14-year-old who is desperately trying to sound cool

Trump is about to run the US economy into the dirt because Capitalism is just as fucking stupid as Communism; mixed models so far have achieved the best results in maintaining high living standards among the entire population

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[missfrustration]

to teach a captain - part 2 (luffy x reader 18+ fanfic)

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7

rating: 18+ explicit, minors do not interact!

tags: pwp, nsfw, smut, sexual content, masturbation, first times, self discovery, cluelessness, luffy is a curious guy, sub!luffy, dirty talk, "good boy," some praising, reader is a member of the crew, post-time skip, second-hand embarrassment, you will cringe, no use of y/n

A/n: the real spice starts now. I got carried away and wrote like 6k words for this one. Luffy, ur my goat forever. on ao3 here!

words: 6.1k

“Talk to me? About what? I find it hard to believe you would end your time out there just to talk to me.”

Without a beat, Luffy tilts his head. “You didn’t answer my question earlier, and I wanted to know why,” he says, crossing his arms.

“What?” But you didn't need to ask what he meant—you knew exactly what he was talking about—but that didn’t stop your entire body from freezing. 

“You had your clothes off, making noise, and had that thing. At first, I thought you were in pain, but then when I came in, you seemed… good. I have no idea what happened.”

You swallow thickly, only looking at the deep brown of Luffy’s eyes. You feel a heavy blush form on your face as you struggle to find any words. 

“I’m sorry, Luffy, but I don’t think we should talk about it,” You say. “I don’t think it’s appropriate.”

“What? That’s not fair.” Luffy whines.

“What’s not fair?”

“You were having a good time, and I want to know why. The way you talked… you looked like you were having fun.“

Your body tenses into a rigor mortis level of shock.

“You want to know what you saw?”

He nods adamantly.

“Luffy, how long were you watching?”

He shrugged it off like it was no big deal. “A while.”

You blink. Luffy definitely saw everything then. The feeling of him seeing your bare form pleasuring yourself with no guilt is enough to make your face light on fire. You cuss at yourself for not closing the door like you should’ve.

“How old are you again, Luffy?”

“Uh… 19?”

“That‘s what I thought,” You mumble, sighing so hard you groan. “If you don’t know, I can’t imagine you know other things— anything about…” a pause, “ do you know where babies come from?”

Luffy scratches his chin.

“Isn’t it a giant bird? I think Grandpa told me that once.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’d thought you would say. Okay, we both need to sit down for this one.” 

You rustle some stacks of clothing off your bed onto Nami’s bed to the right of you before you sit on the edge of the sheets. Luffy plopped onto the edge beside you, kicking his feet against the bed frame.

“If this were anyone else on the Sunny, I wouldn’t need to think twice about entertaining this,” but of course, it’s Luffy. You sigh. “So, we can talk about it, but no relaying ANYTHING about this to the crew, got it? This conversation cannot get to them.”

Another shrug. “Sure, that’s fine.”

You sigh and rub your face, watching Luffy through your fingers for a moment before sliding them down and crossing your arms.

“You can ask away then.”

Luffy perks up and grins. His mind was off to the races.

“What was that noise you were making?”

How you painfully grimace at the first question tells you how much you’ll enjoy this conversation.

“Well, that’s what happens when you, uh, when people do what I was doing?” Your voice turns into a question by accident. If this was anyone else but Luffy, you would’ve tapped out here, but you know Luffy would never let you hear the end of it.

Luffy hums, reflecting on your answer.

“What were you doing?”

Yep, we are going there.

“Uh, I was making myself… feel good. It’s called masturbating, or…pleasuring oneself.” You cringe at the informative tone in your voice as you mull it over.  “Like you said.”

“What were you using?”

“Using? What do you mean—” Before Luffy answers your question, you realize he meant your dildo. “Oh, it was… a tool.”

“A tool? Like, to help fight?”

“No, it’s to help me feel good. It’s called a toy.” 

Luffy looks around the room.

”Do other people need that?”

“For what?”

He briefly thinks about the question, scratching his head like the words are right there.

“If they want to feel like that too.”

“Hardly,” you snort. “Guys never have it that rough; usually, hands work fine. Women may. It just depends on whether they need some extra help.”

As far as you know, you recall Nami telling the girls she gets her pleasure from men on different islands and usually her hands if we’re stuck on the sea for a while. Robin doesn’t mention her individual sex life, but you’d assume Franky takes care of her whenever she needs a pick-me-up.

”Then why do you need a toy?” Luffy asks.

”Man, Luffy…” You mumble, arms supporting you as you fall back on your bed. “This is a lot for me.”

When you look at him, his pout says it all. You pinch the bridge of your nose with the strength that could knock you out of this nightmare, yet disappointed that you’re still here.

“Okay, okay, fine. Sometimes, during these moments, it’s harder for me to reach the same… conclusion than it is for others, so I need the assistance of a toy to help me. I don’t know much about the others–that’s not really something people talk about to each other.”

Luffy perked up at your last sentence.

“Huh? The others do it, too?”

“Well, maybe. That’s not for me to know.” You say. You try to shrug it off–thinking about it too much will make you want to knock on every door you need to open on the Sunny.

“Why can’t the crew just help you next time?” Luffy asks.

Suddenly, the bed no longer offers support as you sit straight up. You didn’t need to say anything; Luffy saw your concern screaming before you could open your mouth.

“We’re nakama! I would do anything for you guys. The others feel the same.” He says with a smile. Luffy’s words make it seem like the easiest answer, practically beaming at a newfound resolve. It just makes you sink into the mattress more.

“That’s not exactly… something that requires you guys. People don’t usually help each other with this…” You stop before you explain only people who are very close can, but you know Luffy wouldn’t know how close that is unless you explain it.

“Does that mean you won’t tell me how to do it?”

“Tell you?” You ask. Luffy nods, and you only widen your eyes more. “Wait, you want me to tell you how to masturba-“ you clear your throat before finishing, “tell you how ?”

“You said it felt good, right? I wanna know how, then!”

Your captain is a nice guy, giving you a clean, optimistic smile after his words. To him, this is practically like learning a new combat skill–the way he fights for his nakama means he always wants to learn how to get stronger. You guess this is just another skill for him. To you, this obviously crosses intimate boundaries. 

You sigh, “You wanna know that bad, huh?”

Luffy nods.

You gaze at Luffy, wondering how you should go about this. You know he’s a loose canon when it comes to anything in the realm of keeping things private. He couldn’t keep Mr. 0 a secret even when their lives depended on it! On top of that, Luffy is the type of guy to pester you about something he’s curious about until he finds out or flatlines. If you tell him no, he could possibly keep asking until everyone on the ship hears about it. Your mouth opens to deny him, but it’s lost on your tongue.

If explaining to him how to please himself is all it is, maybe you can rush him through the steps and have him out the door shortly after. After all, he is seriously uneducated, which may help him in the long run. For what exactly, only God knows. You’re just a girl.

“If it means you keep this all a secret.” You relent, “Promise? Like, really promise. I know you’re horrible at keeping them, but I need you to just this once.” 

It makes Luffy perk up, crisscrossing his legs and resting his hands on his ankles. “Promise!” He says with a toothy grin. He’s ready to listen.

“Okay, you know your…penis-“ another cringe, “between your legs?”” You ask, gesturing to his crotch. You have to find a baseline about what he even knows in the first place. 

“What, the family jewels?”

Wow, off to a great start.

“… yeah. that’s what a man has with their penis—it’s your version of genitalia—whereas women…. it’s a long story… but I'm sure you saw the difference.”

He nods again, making you groan. You realize he really did see all of your pussy this morning, not to mention in excruciating pleasure. Judging by his face, he doesn’t seem confused as to what you mean when referring to his junk. That at least helps the awkwardness of this.

“Alright, y’know how sometimes you wake up and you’re hard?”

“What do you mean hard?” Luffy blinks.

“Hard means when your dick, or penis, y’know, is hard. When you wake up like that, it’s called ‘morning wood.’” You cringe at yourself again, but less severe.

“Oooohhh, yeah, you mean when it’s hard to pee!” Luffy says.

“Yeah, that’s kinda what I’m talking ab–”

“You mean like this!” Luffy smiles, reaching for his pants. He unbuttons his shorts and pulls the hem of his boxers down.  

“W-what the hell are you doing?” You squeak, scrambling around.

By the time you think to turn away, you see Luffy’s hand pop out from his shorts, followed by…

“See?” 

His dick is in his hands semi-hard. It’s flush against his fingers, almost the exact same color as his skin, except for a tinge of pink that lightens the more you travel towards the tip. Your eyes bulge out.

“Woah, you’re already hard… that’s surprising.”

“Yeah, it's like this a lot.”

For some reason, his words send a strange spark in you. Of course he has working bodily functions–that makes a lot of sense–but you suppose it surprised you. At first, it seemed like Luffy was completely oblivious, his body included.

“You're very red,” He says, his other hand starts waving in your face, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, yeah I’m fine,” You say with a nervous laughter. “But you don’t just whip it out like that, man.”

“Oh, sorry, I figured I could since you’re teaching me.”

You look down at his dick still in his hand, except this time, it’s grown to what you guess is his full length. Compared to others you’ve seen in the past, his length is a little smaller. You can’t tell completely without staring it, and you don’t feel like gawking would be that nice.

“It’s fine. We can work on courtesy later, but it’s super important you know about consent. Just know you’re allowed to stop whenever you’re uncomfortable with this, or by me, alright? When you talk about—or do —topics like this, it’s important to know this if you’re overwhelmed or if you don’t like what’s happening, understand? That’s called consent. Are you okay to keep going?”

 “Yeah,” He smiles, “so, what do I do now?”

You shift a little, trying to scan the room for literally any answer that would get you out of this situation without your face feeling on fire—at the very least without talking about his penis again—but you cannot find a single reality. There is nothing but the goddamn wall of the girl’s dorm looking back at you.

You hope your face isn’t red anymore, or else you’ll think you’ll die from high blood pressure. 

“Okay, go ahead and put your hand on it like this.” You do a hand demonstration, lightly grasping the tips of your fingers together to form a lazy ‘O’ and gesturing for him to do the same. Luffy grips the middle of his shaft on the second attempt after floating his hand around the head. 

“Then you’ll want to pump into it a few times.” You pump your hand ring into the air, one that he followed suit around his dick.

His movement is stagnant and uncoordinated, imitating your motions with a waver. His hand shakes in all different directions, making his dick shift like a goddamn joystick. But it’s enough to start stimulating himself.

Slowly, his shaft begins to grow a little more.

And more. And more. And…

…Holy shit.

“Like this?” Luffy asks.

“Y-yeah, Luffy, it’s working,” you say, slack-jawed.

If the “D” in his middle name didn't stand for “dick,” you don’t know what would.

His hand gripped around the base of his shaft is now a fraction of the entire length, whereas previously, it covered everything but the head. Maybe his dick was still flaccid when he took it out. If that’s the case, bro was packing a fucking monster this whole time??

And you realize how much you’ve been staring.

“What now?” Luffy’s voice puts you back to reality.

“Well, there's one more thing that helps.” You get up slowly, your legs trembling a bit. You shake it off and walk off to the side to reach into the confines of your drawer again. What you pull out after rustling through the clothes is the small bottle of lube, almost empty from this morning’s events. You shake the bottle back and forth before popping the top open and reaching for Luffy’s hand. Although he looks at it quizzically, he obliges to give you an outstretched palm when you reach for it. You squirt a quarter-sized amount, which slowly spreads around the surface. 

You motion for him to close and open his hand, making him spread the lube to the rest of his palm and fingers. He grimaces at the sight, watching the sticky substance break apart into small strings before separating, but he still looks back at you for more directions.

“Good, okay, go ahead and do what you did earlier.”

He nods, eyes now filled with determination for a newfound purpose. With one hand toying with the fabric on his clothed thigh, the other hand encircles his girth again, now barely touching fingertips as he starts to move up and down the shaft. It doesn’t take long for the lube to spread across his length, leaving small beads that move everytime he glides over them. 

“This is feels different. This feels,” He trails off, but you can tell by the fluidity in his arm that the stimulation feels better…

You’re really gawking now. You rip your eyes away and stand up from the bed.

“Well, you keep doing that until, you know… alright, I have to leave, I hope you—”

Luffy whines your name. You feel a hand grab your wrist gently, immediately removing his grasp when you turn around.

“Wait.” Luffy's eyes set on where he touched you, then back to your eyes.

“What is it?” You ask. You look down to see his dick still in his hand, stroking up and down. You swear there’s a pink tinge dusted on the apples of his cheeks.

“I need to know if I’m doing it right!” 

“Yeah, Luffy, but God, you want me to watch you while you do it?” You ask.

“Is that such a big deal?” Luffy gives you puppy dog-like eyes, almost offended that you don’t want to look at him. “I thought you said you were gonna help me.” Luffy says sheepishly, lowering his eyebrows.

Obviously, it is a big deal, but he’s so innocent for his own damn good that you can’t even argue with him at this point. He really doesn’t want you to leave, but you’ve wanted to keep his privacy as a top priority. Regardless, you know your say on things won’t get you anywhere, now. You swallow a lump down your throat.

“I guess it’s not.” You sit back next to him. 

His feet sit firm on the plush pink carpet, he continues.

“So?” You hear his breath hitch, seeing his lips purse a little. His voice is quiet now. “Am I… doing it right?”

“Yes, you are.” You say. “If you need to, you can also control the pressure by squeezing or loosening your grip, slowing down or speeding up your hand, too.” You do some more motions with your hand, pumping it in the air with different speeds. He nods before focusing on his hand. 

He changes his pace, you see his hand lose tension around his member and go slow for a few pumps as he tests the feeling. You watch your captain languidly pump his length back and forth, before he hums his disapproval. You see his hand start to speed up now. Small veins from his hand to his arms start to peak out from the firmness of his grip.

Luffy’s breath hitches again, this time at the change of pace, brows now furrowed a little.

“Okay, how long do I go for?”

“As long as you want to, but usually, there is a good stopping point. You’re trying to cum–uh, climax, which is where it feels the best, but you’ll know when that is when your penis… well you’ll see,” you shift. You hope it’s not too long. Luffy is a guy–a beginner–, so you’ll assume he won’t last long for his first time.

You realize the words sound crude coming out of your mouth, but if you could figure it out by yourself years ago, Luffy can too with a rudimentary explanation. The whole time, Luffy focuses on your words in agog, fully digesting each part. He goes right back to pumping himself with a firm nod.

“That means I’m doing it right?” He asks.

“Yes, Luffy, youre doing it right.”

“Okay.”

You’re limited in what you should say at this point. His vest is unbuttoned, revealing a chest that heaves after each firm thrust of his arm. He’s starting to throw his head back slovenly, the lids of his eyes lowering until they shut tight together. You don’t think you can look at his face anymore. At least without having a deep pool collect in your stomach. This is purely for Luffy and his educational purposes, after all. It’s stupid of you to feel anything more than that.

Your eyes nail to the wall, the very same place you chucked the bottle of lube at when Luffy first found you, trying to stifle the urge to stare. It’s futile, however, all you can hear is the small shallow huffs from the side of you. Luffy notices your sudden disassociation, however. 

“You can keep looking.” He says quietly.

“R-right.”

You look down at his hand, which moved from the shorts on his thigh to the mess of the sheets between you two. There are the veins on his skin you only see when he’s fighting, popping out from his forearms to the back of his hand. 

One particular pump makes him whimper loudly, whipping his head back more and parting his lips. Then another, one that makes the whiny groan in his throat linger in the air, until his legs dart wider apart, clacking his knee against yours. The quick force of it makes you jump in your skin, letting out a squeak that snaps his head forward. His brown eyes search for you, darting between you irises with low lids.

Something strange has been setting you off.  

With you specifically. You squirm in your place on the bed, only a few inches from your captain jacking himself off, feeling his pleasure so well, so vocally , and now looking at you with the eyes he has after being starved and seeing a feast. Dark, enticing, needy hues, but this time, so aroused . The musk from his body is so— 

“Hey,” Luffy calls out your name again. His voice has a waver in it now, a sound not lost on you, and one that is dripping more with the feeling of desire, of lust , that you certainly detect. The entire time you’ve known Luffy, you’ve never heard his voice have such a neediness in it. You never would’ve guessed it was possible. Your thighs shift together subconsciously, creating some space between your once-grazing legs.

 “Am I doing it good?” He whines again. Its so breathless, so lovely. That voice so coaxed with fervor. Each word lingers a little bit more in the air the more he speaks, making your face hot and body hotter.

“Yes. Yes Luffy, you are.” You whisper. “Do you feel good?” A small sound comes out of Luffy’s mouth after your words come out. It’s almost like a hiccup, one that erupt throughout his body as his hips jut forward.

“I, think so,” He says, he looks all over your body, “Yeah, I do feel good.”

Your breath hitches. There’s a pause that feels like hours have replaced seconds.

“I feel good when you say that,” Luffy whines. “I think.”

Your chest swells as you look into his eyes. You see they’re staring right back at your face, looking at each individual feature like it’s the first time he’s seen you. Like, really seeing you. 

“What do you mean, Luffy?” 

“When you tell me I'm doing a good job. Hahh ,” Luffy moans. You see his eyes dart to your lips which you didn’t realize until now that your biting between your teeth. “Am I still doing it?”

“Yes, Luffy, so, so good.”

Is it wrong for you to enjoy seeing this? His hand palms the sheets more, head whipped back again from firm, languid pumps to his dick, and he’s whining from it now. He sounds so desperate for release, so welcoming for every tinge of pleasure he receives from himself that builds up more towards an awaited ecstasy.

His head lazily tilts towards you, his eyes open and on you, drinking up the very essence of you.

It almost feels like you’re naked. 

“Please...” He mewls out, which commands your attention from whatever haze it’s in. 

“‘Please’ what, Luffy?” Your voice is a thin veil of what it was prior, with an airy breath that crashes with the impermeable heat radiating from his body. 

“I don’t- mmph!-“ Another delectable whine escapes his lips. He continues, “I don’t know, just–ahh, please – “ 

The hand previously entangled in the sheets finds purchase on your shoulder, his needy fist grasping the strap of your tank top. The abrupt move causes your stance to falter due to his inadvertently tugging you down closer. Your eyes are level now, with your noses just a hair from touching. Your hands land on his thighs, and Luffy’s pace falters while his breath hitches at your touch. 

Luffy stares at you, and your senses are overwhelmed; His brown eyes seem to swallow your closest features, the hot breaths and hiccups that escape his mouth ghost upon your lips, and the downright filthy sounds his lubed hand makes against his cock have you reeling. He never takes his eyes off of you, even as his expression shifts to desperation and his whines evolve into needy whimpers.

“Tell me… mngh that I’m doing good, I’m still doing good, yeah?” You notice his fingers flex in the grasp he has on you. For a brief moment, you wonder how it would feel to have even one of those thick fingers inside of you. 

“You’re doing…so good. You’re so good at touching yourself, Luffy… good boy .” The rational part of your mind is shocked at the words coming out of your mouth, but the way Luffy’s leg twitches and breath wavers at the sound of praise from your lips silences any rationality you may be harboring. 

Almost under his breath, he murmurs out a reply whilst his gaze flicks from your eyes to your lips; “Yeah, I’m..” he begins, “...your good–“

Before you can even muster a reply, He whimpers in a voice you never heard, your name wavering on his tongue, instantly stealing your attention and giving you a bellowing heartbeat. 

“I feel something.” He says, letting his words faded out with a breathless huff. “Something new , hahh, I don’t…”

“Yeah, I–I know that.” 

“What do I… do I do?” His lids are low when he looks at you, pleading for an answer in the colors of your eyes. Your chest feels tight from his small voice, encompassed by a lit flame inside that compels you to speak.

“If you want, please keep going.” You breathe, a horribly devious idea coming to your head. It’s a want to push him further to the edge. “You’re doing so good, Luffy.”

“ Mmmh. ”

You don’t know what’s worse: In the beginning, when Luffy revealed to you and only you his desire when watching you touch yourself, or hear his lustful whines and moans that only elevate because of you. Your voice being the thing your strong captain, with a bounty of countless berries, needs right now. His pleas and wants make you want to see the end of this. 

Luffy pants more now, loosened hair clinging to his forehead, tongue peaking out to moisten his lips as his eyes start to squeeze shut. His pace is faster now as he groans in delight, quickly learning a pace and intensity that he needs . It’s an instinct of his he never knew, a yearning programmed in his brain that compels him to stroke his length faster, it’s a yearning you share as you watch thick beads of precum drip out. 

It was extremely enticing. His plush lips once encased in smiles now slackjaws in stuttering breaths. His chest is heaving in a way you’ve never seen in his fights—whereas his chest hollows out in deep, robust pillars of breath during a battle, it’s now unsure, uncertain, but so daring to steal another fading breath. 

Watching your captain build this unsteady breathing tempo, the way his arm juts around as his eyes languidly blink, and most of all, the way his hand grips and pumps onto himself. You can see from his jutting hips and louder huffs that he’s close, and you can practically see his way to climax. But you know something is very off.

As his arm starts to shake a little more each time, just as Luffy mewls his loudest, starting to hitch his breath, starting to garble unintelligible things, closer and closer to a sweet release. Suddenly, he releases the grip from your shoulder, fingers unclench as it wavers, flinching up and down in the air. In an instant, he grabs onto your plush thigh with such strength you do more than flinch. You moan loud. Luffy doesn’t notice your voice, though; he’s too preoccupied with the fireworks that are going off in his head.

That’s when you register what’s wrong.

You hear knocks on the deck above you. It’s footsteps of people.

It’s the crew.

Your uneven breathing once aroused and whining from Luffy is now panicked in fear. You look to him; he’s so close now you can see his lids flutter.

There’s no way they won't hear him. You huff against him, seeing him teeter, hand gripping on you, moving closer and closer to your crotch. You decide to do something you didn’t think twice  about until you moved in towards Luffy.

“ I, I’m …— mmf! ” Luffy pants, but is swiftly cut off by you. Your lips bury themselves against his, so rugged and rough that Luffy’s eyes widen against it. Your hand latches on to the side of his head, intertwining the fingers with his black hair as you push into him. You feel his whole body jolt, going so stiff except for his rapidly moving arm until it suddenly stops. 

Luffy moans against your lips, pushing against you so hard you feel the vibration of his vocal chords. His lids lower, eyes unfocused as he starts to helplessly whimper into your mouth. 

You feel small, warm ropes of liquid sputter onto your arm, your shirt, reaching all the way to his neck as he whines again and again. All tries to moan his orgasm are stiffle by your mouth against his, the sounds muffling enough that you know they won’t hear. 

You move you lips away, seeing a small string of saliva before it quickly breaks, and you realize how fast you need to act before the crew comes.

When his moans are replaced with breathy huffs, and his hands lay comatose at his sides. You spring into action. Your shirt is already covered in ropes of cum, so it’s the first thing you decide to change. You rip off your shirt, revealing your chest to Luffy right next to you. You cover your hand with the fabric and wipe down the cum on your arm in one fluid motion. You rub the stain off of your neck. Luffy’s body follows suit. A frantic apology leaves your lips as you clean his chest, arm, and hand with your shirt. You toss it, immediately grabbing for a clean shirt from the neglected pile of laundry. Once its shimmied on, you whip to Luffy, another apology as you lift the hem of his boxers, trapping his half-hard member inside before hiking his boxers and shorts back up, buttoning and zipping up the fly with speed that Luffy doesn’t say anything.

In Luffy’s daze, you rush him out of the girls’ room to the hallway. You straighten his back out, make sure all of his clothes are straight on him, and try to act as normal as possible. Normal like you didn’t just teach your captain how to jack off. Or kiss him.

Almost on cue, some of the crew appear into the hall. Smiling when they see you and Luffy. All except Ussop, who immediately clamors to Luffy as soon as he registers him.

“You!” Ussop points to him, stomping over to Luffy with a vengeance. “Where the hell were you? I was looking for you everywhere, man!”

Luffy just looks at him, partially confused, partially still in a post-nut delirium. 

Ussop is hammering into him something, you honestly aren’t paying attention, as you see the other crewmates walk down. The girls come next, both carrying comically large numbers of shopping bags. Sanji is following them, practically hovering behind them as he asks them about their time. You see a patch of moss-colored hair and some bones too, they wave their salutations before heading to different areas of the ship. 

You smile and wave back at everyone, putting on a curt smile. 

“So? That doesn’t give you an excuse to ot say anything before you leave. Jeez, what am I gonna do with you.”

Luffy manages to shrug, the larger half of his indifference showing towards Ussop, but you are at least relieved to see he’s starting to use some braincells. Ussop starts to sniff in the air when he catches a whiff of something. He steps towards Luffy.

“Ew, Luffy, you reek like…” Ussop stops, pauses for a second to look at you. You’re only a few feet away from them, but with his puzzled glance it feels like your seeing things through a wide lens. His attention immediately jumps back to Luffy when he breathes in, wrinkling his nose a little as Luffy tries to step back. Ussop doesn’t let him, gripping the front of his shirt. “Dude, you need to take a bath anyway. It’s been way too long.”

“What? No way? I hate that tub, I get all weak and stuff!” Luffy groans. For his last attempt, he pries each finger off of his vest, but Ussop turns to him and jerks both of his hands around the nape of his collar. 

“You’re going now!” Ussop shouts, walking away and hauling Luffy with him.

“Nooo. Help me! AHHHH!” Luffy screams, kicking his legs against the floorboards as his hands scramble at his collar. With no luck, Ussop drags him down the hall with immense irritation. It’s honestly surprising how well Ussop can manhandle the captain. They disappears around the corner of the hallway, but not without Ussop giving you a glance and following. The eye he gives you sends a chill down your spine. Does he know what happened? 

Oh God. 

You attention is immediately stolen as a mop of blonde hair whisks you around to face his figure. The cook takes your hands in his so gently.

“Ah, mademoiselle, I hope you’re doing alright.” Sanji kisses your hand. “Was it alright being on the ship by yourself?”

“Yeah! Um, it was, uh… things were okay, I guess.” You spit out. In your mind, you curse yourself for sounding so obviously not okay, but it doesn’t seem like Sanji notices.

“Ahh, if only I hadn’t promised Luffy to take him to that restaurant, I would’ve spent it with you.” He cooes. “That idiot captain barely stayed with us before he disappeared to wherever God knows. I wasted my time instead of pampering a delicate lady.”

So he really did sneak away. was it really all because of you?

“Oh, I see, maybe next time.” You plaster on a not-so-convincing smile, but it was just enough for Sanji, as he let go off you and instantly ran towards Nami, who was walking towards you too.

It seems that Sanji had flailed his arms wide open to try and embrace Nami before he was promptly shut down by Nami’s right hook. He falls head first on the floor.

“Hey girl!” Nami says, entirely ignoring Sanji’s limp body as she steps over him, as ruthless as ever. “I got you some things.” She smiles, rustling through her loads of bags in hand.

A humongous gift bag with pretty tissue paper poking out of the edges is put in your hands, you look at her quizzically.

“Thanks, Nami! But what’s with the fancy bag?” You ask. When you take it, your arm almost gives out from the sheer weight of the contents. What the hell is in here? You think.

“Just a little something I think you should have,” she wries. Nami has one of those grins on; the one where you know she’s up to mischief. “Tell me how you like them,” She says before scampering off, almost stepping on Sanji’s twitching body in the process.

Robin comes up behind you and giggles. “She said you need a wardrobe change soon when we start shopping. I couldn’t stop her.” She smiles, now hold up a small bag of her own from a slew of other ones she had. “Here, take this.”

“Aw thanks!”

“No problem, it’s just what you asked for, by the way.” She winks, before also walking around you. 

You hear the hinges creak behind you, meaning she’s opening the door to the girls’ dorm. Robin’s footsteps stop, making your heart drop to the goddamn floor.

“You seemed to be busy in here.”

You turn around, remembering the state you left the room in. The girls’ clothes that were once neatly stacked on your bed are either knocked over, greatly disheveled or both. Robin looks back at you with minor confusion.

“Oh!” Your voice cracks as you shimmy past her figure in the doorway, rushing back to the bedside. “About that. The ship was… rocky earlier.”

“At dock?” She asks with her usual soft smile, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, um. I’ll fix it up, sorry for the mess.” You look down at the edge of the sheets, now noticing the small beads of bodily fluids from earlier. You quickly fold over the wrinkles formed on the sheet to cover it up. Robin’s on the other side of the room at this point, setting down the bags and sorting through them.

“I don’t mind it at all. Just make sure Nami doesn’t see her clothes on the floor. I don’t think I can help you there.” Robin giggles.

You look between you and Nami’s bed, seeing a pile of her baby tees toppled off the bed and lay unfolded on the floor. You yank it back onto the bed immediately.

“Right.” You say. Jesus, how much sweat is on your face at this point. From how wildly embarrassed you’ve reacted, she must think something is up.

Thankfully, Robin seems to have not noticed, or at least dropped the subject. She’s now in the corner of the room. Taking the things out her and Nami’s bags and hanging them up on the closet while she hums a soft tune.

“Cute shirt, too.” Robin softly says. 

In horror, you look down, realizing the shirt you threw on was Robin’s old Galley-La shirt.

“Thanks.” You stammer.

Robin is almost a decade older than you. She’s in a relationship, and you hoping to God she doesn’t realize what you’ve been up to. Ussop’s questioning glance towards you tells you they both noticed something. Your heartbeat was frantic now.

You excuse yourself as you slip yourself out of the girls’ room, frantically scurrying to the deck. You need some fresh air. Now.

At the deck's side railing, your feet brush on top of the soft bed of grass of the Sunny. You watch the waves brush up against the hull, gently lapping up against the wood before dispersing into the air. Tashini's shoreline is only a few yards away, greeting each ebb and flow of seawater.

You take a deep breath of the night air, releasing it with a languid sigh. Your hands have stopped shaking at least, but a feeling of morose still creeps into the back of your mind. Your heart beats at a regular tempo but with an echo that confuses you. You take a deep breath again.

You should probably change out of Robin's shirt now.

[badly-drawn-doflamingo]

Brook’s Past, Military and Everything Between [ An Essay kinda ]

Brook’s past is not a thing many people seem to mention or think about, at least in full, however it’s something that's plagued me. Not only as a Brook fan, but simply out of the odd implications it has towards the future, if any. Oda’s planted too many seeds for it to utterly be nothing; there’s so much odd and seemingly out of place comments and facts stated by Brook and others towards this missing history. However, knowing that the show is beginning to near it’s end, due to time, I am unsure of what exactly will be done.

I believe however, for folks' interest and so we can have everything in one place, that compiling everything found so far can be beneficial, so, I have.

Starting with what we know for sure, Brook is from the West Blue, born 90 years ago to a certain kingdom, the same kingdom he was a military convoy leader from. We know this due to a few factors, however it’s still open to debate if it *is* the same kingdom, however seeing as he was shown as a child to already know what fencing is, practicing moves with his bow, I am just going to say he probably was. In any case, other things worth noting, on the topic of childhood, is that Brook seems to have had money. At least, stability.

Compared to a lot of the other strawhats, Brook is shown dressing very nice. No tatters, no tears, shined shoes and a full violin and bow. He also, as already stated, seemed to be exposed to fencing enough to mirror the moves. If this comes from his kingdom, it means he was exposed to it at a young age. Knowing that he was a military convoy leader, this could be taken that perhaps there were military demonstrations, perhaps the kid saw castle guard or other displays; it’s really up in the air.

We know Brook, again as stated before, became a military convoy leader. Now, the definition of what exactly that means can differ.

Wikipedia states; A convoy is a group of vehicles, typically motor vehicles or ships, traveling together for mutual support and protection. Often, a convoy is organized with armed defensive support and can help maintain cohesion within a unit. It may also be used in a non-military sense, for example when driving through remote areas.

This could mean Brook’s job could’ve been accompanying ships for protection, being a knight for his King, mediating information and goods that come in and out of the kingdom. This would make sense on why his speed was needed, a 9.2 ft man being a great choice for a leader.

His weapon also would make sense for this kind of mission, perhaps secrecy being important or at least the ability to be discreet. His cane sword, a ‘Shikomizue’, is not unique however to just him in the show, one other man using one that has been confirmed so far, that being Fujitora. The pair also share a sea, the west, and both utilize iaijutsu (quick draw techniques.) Fujitora blinded himself with said sword because of something apparently so cruel and inhumane that he rather not see anguish. This may be related to Brook’s departure from his kingdom, which is addressed later in this essay. (Fig 3-5.)

Another thing that’s worth mentioning here is Brook’s attack patterns, being unique even for his kingdom apparently. Once again, during the Ryuma fight, Brook states, and I quote;

“Ryuma: “Now tell me, what part of that wretched excuse for a body would you like me to severe with my special ‘Arrow Notch Slash?’ Brook: You don’t know a thing about that move, so do not use it’s name. I use to serve in my kingdom’s raider squad. The quick draw attack that I was most skilled at was ‘Requiem Lebanderole’. My comrades-in-arms renamed it in regards to my fighting technique.”

(Fig. 1, Brook explains his raider squad and move names. A banderole mind you is a long flag for BATTLE crusades. )

This sets up a few interesting facts. 1. Brook was in a raider squad, a kingdom’s group of marauders, as well as if not the same job as convoy leader. 

2. His techniques were unique to him, or at least specialized to a degree of having a nickname. 3. As expected, he seems to have been close to these men he commanded, adding another layer over Brook loosing the Rumbars. Being in both a raider squad and being a convoy leader at one point, if not the same point, implies either Brook was simply versatile, acting in both in separate years or periods. Or, the most likely, that he was higher ranking than expected, making him a CO, or commanding officer. (Lieutenant Colonel is another equal rank for scale, making Brook just below a Major.) This makes him quite the important figure, especially for a kingdom that seems to value its military so much, so much so that a child of Brook’s age would already know about their style of fencing, as expressed already. Brook’s devil fruit is worth mentioning here, the revive-revive fruit not likely to be found by a crew like the Rumbars. It is spoken about as if he has always had it amongst the crew, being a fact of life. However, when did he get that fruit and why? I propose where it would be useful; in combat. If your military convoy leader, your best swordsman could be shot and come right back to protect the king, would he not be utterly invaluable? You would never let him leave… But he DID leave. It’s not said why, however we have some extra tidbits of information that may tell us why, and that ALSO may tell us the answer to what kingdom he means.

( Fig. 2. Brook states his leaving of the military for unknown reasoning, the word certain being used in an odd way, establishing his bounty.) This bounty mind you all is in fact, using inflation method, 297,000,000 berries. That is a MASSIVE bounty for just a pirate. Perhaps a certain blond stole a treasure a kingdom could not replace; their convoy leader. Lets rewind for a moment and cover something that may be seen as off topic however I will come right back to the subject at hand; Calico Yorki. Yorki is an odd bird, pirate wise. He makes his crew read his bounties and information, is never shown to play an instrument/sing but makes his crew preform/they all do, and makes Brook make him dinner. (Steak, and Brook continues to be able to make it as confirmed by an SBS.) What is oddest yet, other than his large crew and shirtless habits, is his nature. A man that set to sea to play music for “orphans and crying children” as stated by himself; a crew made for “any men who love music.” Now, I could be reading into this too hard, however from his speech patterns, to this apparent need for a large family, it seems that singing to orphans may be a very personal goal. An orphan turned pirate perhaps, with lofty dreams and a heart of gold, it reads to me that Yorki may have been just that. Knowing this, orphan or not, we now can compare these facts to Brook’s life up until their meeting. A child who probably grew up being taught to fight, being around access to education, expenses and the kingdom’s training. Why would a man like Brook ever join a man like Yorki, and if it’s only music, would that not make Brook a deserter? I do not think that is the case. I will now bring forward some interesting evidence regarding Brook’s kingdom and WHY he would leave. Germa 66. During Zou to Whole Cake, a few mentions of Germa are made with Brook around, garnering interesting reactions indeed.

( Fig. 3. Brook listens but chooses not to add anything utter than silence, his music pausing as well.) This silence could be take as simple ignorance, however Brook later admits he knows of the kingdom, in fact, he knows a lot. A lot more than anyone else did, Reiju admitting interest in his knowledge and once again, Brook brushes it off.

(Fig 4, 5, Brook speaks about Germa 66.) He seems to underplay or simply not elaborate a LOT on his kingdom, as if something happened. Perhaps joining Yorki was not out of simple cowardice or need to be free, (which again if he did would both reflect poorly upon his entire character and not be in character for him what so ever,) but in fact, out of necessity. It could have been Germa 66, it could have been some other grouping, however I believe this will come to be something important. The kingdom possibilities are interesting as well, and I will list the following LIKELY possibilities. (Other options are known to not be military, like Ohara, or literally places like Thriller Bark itself.) - Toroa - God Valley - Illsia Kingdom - Soja Kingdom The most likely candidates, because again, it is labeled as certain kingdom (Fig 2.) is Toroa or Soja, however I will personally lean into Toroa. This is because of a man by the named of Byron.

(Fig 6. Byron and his information.) His nose and face shape vaguely resemble Brook, however honestly that is a stretch. What is NOT however is his familiar attire, family line and the placement of his kingdom. This could easily be Brook’s home, however again, this is just speculation. Brook very well could belong to God’s Valley, or the same kingdom as Issoh, fleeing because of something he did not agree with or literally could not stand any longer. But, that falls under possibility, not fact. This concludes the facts section, now comes the final question; What does it mean for the story? And, honestly, that can be debated. What Oda has done is plant odd seeds of information about the man, similar to Sanji and his ties to Vinsmoke, that have not been addressed nor talked about in full, or so I’ve found sufficiently. These seeds MAY bloom into what I hope will be a tie into some huge reveal, perhaps aid from a past member of his convoy or kingdom, or perhaps this will only spark conflict. Perhaps it will be minute, Brook being able to aid due to his knowledge, the man already in Thriller Bark showing his prowess by being able to command the strawhats into defeating zombies via salt and tactic. In any case, we can only hope these things mean anything, tied into some huge story that could explain why a man like him would quit for a redneck like Yorki, other than perhaps love, and what kingdom would let a man like him go willingly.