#they should’ve run a deal where like it’s $70 for new people but if you have botw already it’s only like $50 at most or something

[goldensunset]

when a thing is so good you can’t even post about it tbh you have no idea how to even do it justice it’s so important to you that it just has to live in your brain quietly forever

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Swipe Right

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: Bucky has been your neighbor for a few months now, so he likes to think you two are friends. Which is why he thinks you're the best person to go to to help him get back into the dating scene.

AN: inspired by one line of dialogue from the first ep of Falcon and the Winter Soldier. lol also, FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER EP 1 SPOILERS!

Bucky felt lost. Well, he's always felt lost ever since he suddenly came back along with have of the world's population. He was pardoned by the government and now a civilian. He was going through therapy to deal with his 70+ years worth of trauma and trying to navigate his way through the modern world. Everything was new and exciting but also overwhelming and exhausting.

His therapist encouraged him to date and make friends. So that's what he did, or at least, tried to do.

He considers you a friend. You live in the apartment right beside him, gave him a friendly smile and helping hand when he first moved in. You two chatted when you'd run into each other in the hall or in the laundry room. You were nice, attractive, funny. He honestly thought about asking you out a few times, but you were his friend, his only friend it seems. So he couldn't ruin that. Therefore, he resorted to online dating.

He signed up to a bunch of dating websites and apps: eharmony, match.com, plentyoffish, tinder-SO MANY. Why are there so many dating apps?!

He's scrolling through his phone, so overwhelmed by the different pictures and information. What does DTF mean???

He scowls, tossing his phone onto a pile of dry laundry he should be folding. You enter the laundry room with a chuckle, "Everything alright?"

He glances over his shoulder and sees you. He immediately smiles and faces you, "Hey, um, yeah," he gestures to his phone, "Just, um..." he lets out a sigh and asks, "Do you know anything about dating?"

You look at him curiously and reply, "A little. Why? What's up?"

"I'm just," he nervously scratches his head and places his hands on his hips, "I'm trying this online dating thing and it's...a lot."

You can't help but snort, "I feel ya," you give him a reassuring smile despite your heart dropping to your stomach, "So, uh, what sites or apps are you on?"

"Um...all of them?"

You snort again, "No way. Let me see your phone." you hold out your open palm to him and he places his phone into your hands after unlocking it. You swipe through his apps and your brows shoot up to your hairline, "Well it's not all of them , but it's definitely a lot." you look up from the phone to Bucky, "Can I give some advice?"

"Please, I'll take anything you can give me," he replies desperately.

You hop onto the washing machine and hold up his phone, "Okay. These apps are usually for the older crowd. Like thirty five and up, so if you're not picky about age, feel free to keep these. Now, these apps are what the younger generations use. Tinder is usually for hook ups, one night stands and all that. Not many people take Tinder seriously. Bumble, is a level up from Tinder. You'll find people who are more serious about finding a relationship with also a mix of people looking for something casual. Hinge, I think, is a level up from Bumble. You don't see people's typical lame ass bios, but their answers to some fun questions, what kind of relationship they're looking for, if they smoke or do drugs, etc. Also, I'm not sure if you know this, but you can change the age range on all of these apps. So instead of having it from 18 to 50, you can narrow it so 25 to 35 or however you want."

You look at Bucky and see his brows are furrowed in...concentration? Confusion?

"Was that too much? Do I need to slow down?"

He shook his head, "No, no, that's not it. Um, thanks, Y/N," he shoots you a grateful grin and you smile back, "No problem, Bucky." You see the gears turning in his head and you ask a question, he might be scared to ask you, "Do you want me to help you find some potential dates?"

"Will you?" he asks in that same desperate tone from earlier.

Again, you put on a smile, despite your breaking heart, "Sure!"

You tap on Hinge, double checking on his preferences, and then going to the main page.

"Oh! Look here. She's a single mom, but she's also a nurse. On the weekends, you're most likely going to find her wine drunk and watching movies with her kids. She has pets. She'd like to have more kids some day. She sounds nice. How 'bout it, Bucky?"

"Sure. She-She sounds good."

"Cool! So you tap on the heart on whatever thing on her page. So let's like her....answer here. If you want, you can comment something, but if not, you just forward it and hope to see that she'll like you back and you can start messaging her! Also, it looks like some people already like you! So you just tap on this icon here and you can scroll through the different people who've liked something on your page and it's up to you if you want to make contact or not."

Bucky hums and plucks his phone from your hands, "Wow. This-Thanks Y/N. This really helped."

"No problem, Buck! If you ever need more help, just let me know!" you hop off the washer and proceed to start up a load of laundry. You mind running back and forth about how you should shoot your shot, but you were too afraid of ruining the friendship you and Bucky have.

______________________

Bucky: Hey

You: What's up?

Bucky: can you come over? I need more help with this online dating situation.

You: sure!

You let your phone fall to your side with a sigh, Bucky has been asking for your help with his online dating for two weeks now and while you're always happy to help him, it just sucks seeing someone get his attention that you wish you had.

You roll out of bed, not caring about how you looked and exit your apartment, knocking on Bucky's door.

He swings open to reveal him in a tight blue henley and some black jeans, "Hey!" he shoots you a grin and moves aside to let you in, "So, um, this girl, Janine. We've been messaging for a few days now and she wants to meet up. Is that too soon? And where should I take her? I've," he pauses to chuckle to himself, "I haven't dated since the forties so..."

Despite your feelings for him, you knew Bucky deserved to be happy, especially after all the shit he's gone through.

"Hm, well, what kind of vibes are you getting from her?"

"Vibes?"

"Yeah, um, what feelings do you get when you talk to her? Do you feel happy? Do you want to get to know her more?"

"Uh, yeah, I suppose so. I think it'd be nice to meet her in person and get to know her more face to face."

"Then yeah, take her out. But since it's your first time meeting her in person, it should be something casual. Low key, no pressure. A decent restaurant or a bar is probably best."

Bucky nods, "Yeah. Okay. Um, do you think you could help me pick something out?"

You can't help but laugh, "Bucky, I'm sure whatever you choose to wear, you'll be fine."

"Okay. Thanks, Y/N," he slowly wraps his arms around you for a hug, but not too tight in case you're uncomfortable. You surprise him by hugging him back, giving him a little squeeze, "You're welcome, Bucky."

It was Saturday and you didn't have work. You friends asked you to hangout with them, but you didn't want to. You wanted to stay holed up in your apartment, wallowing because Bucky would be going on his date with Janine tonight.

You're mindlessly watching tv , curled up on the couch. You turn your face into the pillow and scream in frustration. You should've just asked him out when you had the chance, but now that chance is gone.

You groan as you roll off the couch and head to your balcony. You just need some fresh air. You push up your window and climb onto the metal balcony. You sit on the outdoor chair you have there and stare up into the night sky. The stars are twinkling, the moon is shining. It looks like a perfect night for a date and here you are, alone.

"Hey-"

"AAAHHH!" you scream by the sudden appearance of Bucky on his own balcony. You're staring at him wide eyed, hand on your chest.

Bucky couldn't help but laugh at your expression, "Sorry."

You shake your head and stand to meet him, "It's fine. What're you doing here? I thought you were on your date."

"Yeah, uh, turns out Janine didn't, what phrase did you use once, pass the vibe check?"

You snort, covering your mouth as you giggled. Bucky's smile grows at the sound and you pull yourself together, "Um, yeah that's it. But I'm sorry."

He shrugs, leaning against the railing, "Honestly, it's okay. I don't think the online dating thing is really for me. I think I'll probably stick to the old fashion way: meeting in person and asking them out on a date."

"That's understandable," you say with a nod.

"So how 'bout it?"

You look at him confused, "How 'bout what?"

"Do you wanna go on a date sometime?" you give a look of surprise and Bucky immediately adds, "But I totally understand if you don't want to. I just-you're nice, and beautiful, and funny I thought maybe-but we're friends so I totally understand if you don't-"

"No, no. Bucky, I just-I'd love to go on a date with you."

"Yeah?" You nod and he holds out his hand, "Come on then."

You give a nervous chuckle, "What?"

"I picked up a pizza after that disastrous date. We can eat and watch a movie. Casual and no pressure, right?"

You look from his striking blue eyes to his outstretched glove hand. You reach out to place your hand in his but then pull back, "Wait. I should probably change."

You step back to head back into your apartment, but Bucky grabs your hand, "You don't have to. You look great."

You chuckle and begin to climb from your railing to Bucky's, with his help, "Alright, Prince Charming. I expect to be wooed tonight."

"Of course you do, which is why I ordered pizza from your favorite place and I'm letting you pick the movie we watch."

"Bucky Barnes, I could kiss you!" you exclaim thoughtlessly but then you realized what you just said. You shook your head and began to ramble off excuses, "No no! I mean not now! Now that I don't want to kiss you. You're very kissable. Not that I imagine kissing you or anything it's just-"

Bucky leans in and gives you a little peck on the cheek, "I don't kiss until after the date's over, doll. So will that suffice for now?"

You could feel your cheeks heating up as you nodded and squeaked out, "Yup!"

He chuckled, taking your hand in his again and leading you to the couch where the pizza was waiting for you.

[solomonish]

How To Keep Your Demon Entertained At A Walmart

Congratulations! You've earned yourself a few demon date days up in the human world! But what's this? You have errands to run? Well, we all know these demons can't function without you for more than five minutes....but an entity that's thousands of years old gets a little bored and restless in the hyper-market wasteland of a Walmart...

Nowdateables: coming soon!

Lucifer

if you don't want him getting passive-aggressive about how you should've done this before he got here (yeesh Lucifer some of us have jobs or responsibilities that we can't shove onto our siblings for a day to see our precious mc) then you better be ready to make conversation

definitely not the type to allow you to even think about sending him off so you can get stuff done. he's not even that bothersome, so he'll get offended if you even think about it, but also wouldn't you rather keep him around to reach the top shelves?

basically if you don’t want to keep Lucifer entertained, you have to be the one he needs to keep entertained

do that thing where you roll around on the cart like a skateboard and he’ll be trying to put a stop to it immediately

put random things in your cart that he knows you don’t need and let him take it out and put it back where it belongs

stare him in the eyes as you put that party size brownie mix in your cart then speed walk away. he will come up from an aisle in front of you and silently pluck the box out and take it back. he will come back to see seven boxes of corn dogs and momentarily considers breaking up with you

does not need a treat as a bribe, but will definitely forgive your antics if you bought something from the bakery to snack on as you go home (especially if you did it without him noticing, considering the eagle eye he’s had to have on your cart the whole time)

just don’t have the nerve to complain about the crumbs in your car after that

Mammon

I would say to ask him to scan the area looking for dropped coins on the floor but he'd probably knock down shelves trying to look beneath them so....maybe don't?

also please keep an eye on him or he WILL be shoplifting. human jail is (probably?) a step up from demon jail but like. let's aim for no jail, ok mammon?

instead, give him a pre-portioned off list and tell him it's like a scavenger hunt. he'll scamper off to explore the walmart and his duty to keeping you happy has like a 70% chance of preventing him from stealing anything too important

make sure the stuff you put on the list is kind of hard to find but not too hard. you wanna keep him occupied without risking him freaking out because he can't find this super specific spice you want

either that or only make a really vague list like. tell him you need bread and he'll stand in the bread aisle trying to remember if you like white bread or whole wheat bread until you come to retrieve him

bring money for a treat. if it's near st patrick's day go in the seasonal aisle and hope they have chocolate gold coins

he's not too hard to deal with, but figuring out what's sneaky enough to put on the list is a chore of its own so going by yourself is less work anyway

Leviathan

taking him to walmart was your final fatal mistake

seriously? he has to go in? you could have just left him in the car!!

you take him intending to have him pick out some normie snacks (since you don't have any limited edition whatever-the-fucks in your house right now) but he looks so uncomfortable you make a detour towards the games

just leave him to play on the trial device and go pick out a few things for him to choose from when you circle back to him

arguable the least stressful trip for you until you have to wade through the pool of kids surrounding him and watching him play when it's time to pay and leave

you won't have to buy him anything but you will have to wait for him to finish the level he's on before he lets you drag him away. and he'll probably complain a little bit in the car about how terrible it was to go in in the first place, which a treat would help minimize.

so i guess just pick your battles with this one?

Satan

satan is a refined individual with startling amounts of self control. he does not need pointed in the direction of the books. he can entertain himself on a grocery run.

point him in the direction of the books anyway

their selection is always small (because it’s a walmart not a bookstore) and half of it is children’s anyway so he’ll probably wander off real quick

satan doesn’t need to be entertained, no, he’s past that. he needs to be kept on a leash

you have no way of knowing where he’ll end up. sometimes he’ll be somewhere that makes sense like in the stationary but sometimes you’ll find him staring at the paint samples like it’s a masterpiece in a museum or over by the fishing hooks reading up about local fish populations and how to get a fishing license and you’re just like “???? i’ve been looking for you for twenty minutes???? don’t give me facts about salmon???”

will ask you why you need to buy tires in the same place you get your food. isn’t that suspicious? what do they specialize in?

answer him only with the word “bargains” and he’ll stop asking once he understands or gets annoyed

you don’t need to buy him a treat unless he finds a book he wants. then come on mc, you dragged him out here and you’re NOT gonna let him get this one thing??

Asmodeus

he's fine with making an errand run with you actually!

he's up on the human world for you baby, just make sure to hold his hand so he feels appreciated

asmo is far too entertained with the concept of a walmart for his own good. don't go with him if you want it to be a quick trip because he'll want to go around the whole store

thinks at first that it's kind of nifty that humans just dump all the things they need in one store but is quickly turned off from the novelty when he realizes how short the distance is between the clothes and the nearest package of raw chicken

even if the selection is small, he will want to spend time in the makeup department. probably goes on rants about how he can’t imagine this quality of product is good for your skin

will still buy nail polish though if you let him

overall? not terrible to have around, but make sure you don’t have anywhere to be in the next hour when you take him

Beelzebub

pack a gallon bag of cheerios like he's a toddler and get ready to fucking book it in and out of there

you know how you should never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry? what were you thinking bringing Beel around??

another brother who’s good for reaching tall shelves if you need it

Beel also has this talent where he can just list off the ingredients you need if you happen to forget your list

if you want, you can distract him momentarily by just throwing out random dishes and he’ll get the ingredients right every time (even though they’re human dishes!!) but you’ll end up giving him like five different cravings by the time you leave

only take him if you want to speedrun grocery shopping, because he will start eating food you haven’t paid for if you take too long

bring extra money for that too, just in case he gets caught :(

Belphegor

bringing belphie to walmart isn't a matter of keeping him entertained moreso than keeping him awake

which you will inevitably fail to do

so even if you only need like three things, get him a cart and let him fall into the basket

he’ll try to stay awake (and he’ll give very self-satisfied grins to the people who stare at him ((and especially the ones who say “wow i wanna do that”))) but he can only fight off his sin for so long

stop by the blankets so he can stuff a few soft things in (bc he’s gotta be uncomfortable cramped in the little basket) and he’ll make himself a tiny nest

the good news is you can put anything on top of him and he won’t complain. just don’t drop any gallons of milk on him or anything that’ll wake him up

go to a self check-out so the employees don’t yell at you

after you put your groceries in your car, just dump his ass on the pavement. he’ll forgive you if you bought him the blankets.

[squeeneyart]

Breathe in the Salt - Chapter 25

AO3

Beta reader as always is @thesnadger

Nothing to do but talk.

Martin and Jon settle in for a movie night.

The documentary, if it could be called that, was absolute bunk.

Littered throughout were vague interviews and wild assumptions on the part of the very on-screen director, all tied together with a final push for people to purchase a very specific brand of smoke detector. And the low quality of the video couldn’t be blamed solely on Martin’s internet.

They watched the thing from start to finish, though, and by the end of its 70-minute runtime (“I should’ve guessed by how short it was,” Jon had grumbled partway through) their viewing had turned primarily to Jon taking the piss out of it. Academically, of course.

On Martin’s end the film itself was bad in an enjoyable way, and while he didn’t have the context for all of Jon’s complaints it was easy for him to listen. He’d even made some jokes that got Jon to snort.

He did have to sit uncomfortably straight to keep from leaning against each other. Jon had turned it a bit so they could both see, but when viewed from too hard an angle the picture looked even worse. So, Martin did his best to give Jon space and not let the effort distract him from the screen.

All of this being true, Martin was grateful for the horrible film. Nothing filled silence better than movies and television, so the nights following they settled into a routine. Someone would make dinner (with no further… outbursts) and then they would find something to watch. Afterwards they would say goodnight and Martin would escape upstairs to decompress with his little notebook.

Jon’s original idea had been to find something related to their goals. However, after another let down on night two involving a very old retrospective on the mid-century fishing industry (“Wrong century,” Martin had said about five minutes in), Jon dropped the idea, thus opening up a whole new world of cable television and old vhs tapes on night three.

“You bought yourself a laptop but never had a dvd player?” Jon yawned, getting comfortable on his side of the couch. 

“We sort of… skipped it?” Martin dug through a box of tapes for something worth watching, sifting through sappier options and 80s action flicks alike. “Dunno how, but we never got one. The laptop ended up being the first thing I ever had to play dvds, but the telly is too old to be hooked up to it. S’fine, though. I like tapes.”

“And you never get bored of it? Flipping between tapes and whatever’s on at a given time?”

Martin rolled his eyes. “I have a phone for other stuff, obviously. To be honest I don’t watch a lot to begin with, nothing new anyway.”

“Hmph. Same for me,” Jon conceded, sinking further into the couch. “Feels like there are other things I could be doing.”

“Except for now?”

A wry smile. “Special case.”

Martin’s stomach did a flip. He didn’t feel guilty, per se, but he wished he had something for Jon to work on to stave off the boredom. Everything had been so quiet with Peter gone and Simon’s waiting that no new leads had popped up. It wasn’t fair that Jon had to sit around doing nothing after wandering about in the sea for weeks. The least he could do was provide some entertainment.

“Hm. Right, how about this one?” Martin looked back and waved a vhs set. It was some old fantasy series with a group of children on the cover standing in a hallway. “Haven’t watched it since I was a kid, but I remember liking it.”

“Two tapes’ worth?” Jon glanced up at the ceiling. “It’s in episodes, right?”

“Yeah, though if you’d rather find something else…?”

Jon waved his hand. "No, I can’t spend the whole evening making up my mind. If we don’t like it, then we can find something else.”

With that settled Martin popped the tape in and took up his seat. On the other end, Jon sat with the blanket pulled to his chest. He wore a new set of pyjamas Martin had picked up at the shop along with a few other things to save Jon from having to wear the same clothes day and night. 

The show was a simple series meant for children, easy enough to follow in plot that some side chatter didn’t interrupt things too much. Honestly, Martin was glad they weren’t paying a whole lot of attention. He hadn’t watched it in years and wasn’t looking to be embarrassed.

A few minutes in, the children from the cover were running up the stairs to explore a large house. “Safe to assume you don’t have siblings?” Jon asked.

“Hm? Oh, no, it’s just me. You?”

He snorted. “Even if my grandmother wanted another child running around, I was enough to deal with.”

Martin raised an eyebrow. “What, were you a terror?”

“I’d use the word ‘adventurous’, but she would’ve agreed with that description. If we’d been in that house,” Jon gestured toward the screen, “she would’ve been in trouble. Until it ate me or something.”

“I don’t think that’s how it goes?” 

Jon frowned. “That’s- No, I mean if it were real it would probably mean harm. Supernatural houses aren’t trustworthy entities outside of fiction. In fiction they’re mischievous at the least.”

“Can’t imagine that, a building that likes to mess with you,” Martin said, grimacing. He really didn’t remember much about this story. Maybe that was how it went? “I’m sure they’ll be fine. I wasn’t into spooky things back then.”

“I’ll take your word for it, but I’m not letting my guard down,” Jon said. He watched as the children walked up a spiral staircase. “Would you have wanted siblings?”

Martin considered this. “I can’t imagine having them? But an older sibling would’ve been nice. Someone to know better and help me with things.”

“I think any other child would’ve found me irritating, older or younger. Best to keep to myself,” Jon said dryly. “Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yes, you can imagine the additional worry of raising a child who could explore the ocean like it was the woods. It’s not like she could follow me in.”

“I bet… She wasn’t like you, then?”

Turning back to the television, Jon said, “No. She was from my father’s side.”

“Oh.” He couldn’t tell if the question was wrong to ask, so looked back to the show. It was luck of the draw, then, whether someone was born with a selkie skin. Perhaps there was nothing to do with genetics in circumstances like this.

Back on the screen, one of the children had chosen to wander outside into the beginnings of a snowstorm with no thought to the cold. Outside the real world window it had begun to hail, and Martin realized how frigid it had become both outdoors and in.

“Well, at least this story is right for the season,” Martin said, standing up. “I’m gonna grab another blanket.”

With a start, Jon looked at him and held up the one he was under. “Do you want this one? I don’t-”

“N-no, that’s fine!” He walked briskly out of the room, feeling rude and stupid. All Jon had offered was for him to use the damned thing, not share it. And it wouldn’t have fit both of them even if he had meant it that way!

Opening the hall closet, he tried to calm down. He peered at the pile of folded sheets and blankets, lifting each layer to search for one he liked. There was a flannel one somewhere, deceptively warm for how thin it was-

Oh.

Tucked far down into the pile, far back enough so it was hidden if the one above wasn’t lifted, Martin saw something dappled and grey and out of place amongst the linen. Jon had left it to dry completely beforehand, so the surrounding fabric was unwrinkled. Considerate. And in a decent hiding place all things considered. It was a shame Martin had gone and ruined it.

He sighed, grabbing one of the blankets at the top that he’d initially passed on. Once he reached the doorway to the living room, he stopped and stared at Jon who was doing his best to seem unperturbed.

“So, I saw it,” he started, squeezing the blanket in his arms into his chest. “I use that closet a lot, if you want to put it somewhere else.”

Jon winced and stood. As Martin let him pass, he mumbled, “Right. I’ll just-” 

And then Martin was left to sit back on the couch and wait, pausing the tape out of courtesy. 

When the skin had disappeared from the shower that first morning he hadn’t considered anything but Jon hiding it, and there was an awful satisfaction in knowing he was right. He rubbed his arm and stared at the blanket in his lap, still neat and folded. 

After a couple of minutes, Jon returned empty handed and resumed his seat. Pulling his blanket back up, he said, “It’s nothing… personal.”

“I know.” He took a deep breath and pressed play on the old remote, letting the child continue their new solo adventure. “I figured you hid it.”

“I appreciate that you told me.” His voice was stilted and unsure. “That you found it.”

“Sure, whatever helps.” Unfolding the blanket, he pulled it up to his shoulders and leaned on the arm rest. He could feel Jon fidgeting in place, turning the blanket so it faced the right way and making it tuck under him in the right places. Martin kept his eyes ahead.

Finally giving up on any further adjustments, Jon slouched into place. “It does help. I know my caution can come off as distrust, but genuinely I just… I need to keep it hidden. I need to know where it is and to be the only one who does. For now.”

“You… don’t need to justify anything.” Martin sighed and had to fight back a yawn. “It’s your coat.”

A grunt of frustration. “No, you don’t- It’s not a rational thing. I trusted you enough to tell you the truth, and yet I was barely into my first night here before I panicked and stowed it away.” He sat upright and let the blanket fall to his lap, quiet distress written across the lines of his forehead.

Grasping for words, Martin said, “You still haven’t known me that long. It’s not wrong to be careful.”

“That’s not the point,” Jon replied quietly, resting elbows on knees. “It hasn’t been all that long in the grand scheme of things, but a lot has happened. I consider you a friend. And yet I can’t stop feeling like everything is about to go wrong if I’m not careful.”

The hail continued to slam against the window, almost overpowering the sound of the television and the faun describing the witch’s plans. On the far side of the couch, Jon remained hunched over his own knees with his face bent in irritation. 

A wave of shame broke against him, but there wasn’t time to dwell on it. Carefully, Martin scooted over just enough to reach out a hand. His trembling fingers hovered just an inch away, brushing against the fabric of Jon’s shirt before coming to rest on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Jon whispered, massaging around his eyes with his fingers. He reached his free hand up to tentatively cover Martin’s, giving it a tiny squeeze. “Thank you for understanding.”

“Do you… want to keep watching?”

Jon nodded, shaking himself out a little. Martin released the gentle grip on his shoulder, though he didn’t move away. They both settled into the back of the couch and watched.

The child had gone back inside with the shivers, but no one was to be found. Around the halls she wandered, calling her siblings’ names with indignation that slowly turned to concern and then to fear. Eventually she was running, and it wasn’t until she was on the upper floor that one of her brothers popped out to scare the living daylights out of her. 

Deep down he remembered this part making him cry. Perhaps siblings weren’t worth it with how cruel children could be. 

Martin coughed. “You explored the sea as a kid, then?”

Jumping slightly, Jon said, “O-only a couple of times. And not far from the land. And it’s not as fun when you can only grab one thing at a time, with your mouth. I sorely missed my pockets and picking up sticks.” As he spoke, he resumed the more casual tone from before with modest success. 

“You thought checking out the sea with no real limits was too much of a hassle?”

With a roll of his eyes, Jon said, “It wasn’t entirely that. Eventually my grandmother warned me away from it. Told me about dangerous animals that absolutely weren’t native to the coast where we lived.” 

“Great white sharks?”

“Surrounding our seaside village on every watery side, ready to eat hapless little seal boys who didn’t listen to their nans.”

Martin chuckled, relaxing further into his seat and listening to Jon go on about all the ways his grandmother had tried and failed to reign him in. He could see it, a younger, scrappier version of the man next to him stomping around the woods and climbing fences. 

The instinct wasn’t all that relatable to someone like Martin who’d kept to the front porch on nice days, but it sounded like an adventure. Maybe it meant he was less likely to get eaten by an evil wardrobe out of the two of them. In his position he could only hope that was the case.

They called it for the night when, out of nowhere, a man suddenly appeared at half opacity screen and let out a screeching noise to close out an episode, making Jon laugh in a way that only could’ve been from exhaustion. 

Martin lingered downstairs for a while after they shut the television off. It was Friday, after all. For many reasons they couldn’t go out to a pub, but without the need to get up early he could afford to stay up a little longer and listen to a sleepy Jon talk over the tapping on the window panes.

--

Tim: not next weekend, but the one after i think. finally time to call it on preparation and get down to business, if this is something we can be prepared for

Martin: encouraging

Tim: look its been rough over here, alright? 

Martin: i know, sorry. itll be easier to talk once we’re all in one place 

Tim: yeah

Tim: things are ok over there, then? youre sounding better

Martin: ?

Tim: it was starting to get scary if im honest, how quiet you were

Martin: oh, sorry. things are fine, just didnt have a lot to say

Tim: yeah, i get it. its hard to fill the space. dont be a stranger though. in a few weeks we’ll be there to get you out of this mess

Martin: looking forward to it

Sighing, Martin looked from the private chat to Jon, who was ignoring his breakfast to type away at the laptop. “Sounds like the others are making plans to get here.”

Jon looked up briefly. “Good. It will be… nice to see them.”

“And show them you’re not dead?”

Ignoring this, Jon said, “How is Tim doing?”

He glanced back at his phone. “Worried. About a lot of things, I think.”

“Thinking of how he’s going to break my disappearance to you, no doubt,” he said, taking a sip of his tea. He avoided Martin’s eyes. “That’ll be resolved soon enough.”

Martin poked at the eggs on his plate. “He… lost someone, didn’t he?”

It was only for a moment, but Jon froze in the middle of setting his mug down. He seemed to struggle with an answer.

“It’s fine if you can’t say, but he implied as much,” Martin said gently.

With a frown, Jon shut the laptop. “Sasha knows more than I do, but yes. His brother, a few years ago.”

“Oh. That’s… really sad.” He leaned back in his chair. “He seems like he’d be a good brother.”

“I’m sure he was. He certainly looks out for us.” Jon took a bite of his toast.

“As best as he can,” Martin added sheepishly. 

“Once this is all finished he’s earned a vacation.”

Yes, they’d all given poor Tim their share of heart attacks. Martin had managed to several times in the last month. But at least when the time came Tim would see that both of them were alive and themselves and able to apologize for making his and Sasha’s lives just a bit harder than they needed to be.

Once it was all finished.

[lunarliza]

JJ Maybank Must Die | Chapter 5: Hair Dyes

fuckboy!JJ x Reader

series masterlist | prev. chapter | chapter one

JJ Maybank is the island’s most infamous fuckboy- not that you ever cared. But when a group of tourist girls come to your surf shop crying to you about him, you agree to help them plot revenge. Sabotage is all fun and games, until you find that the playboy you were sworn to ruin happens to be falling head over heels for you.

Yes, this is based on John Tucker Must Die lol

note: sexual-like content ahead. also pls keep in mind that this is just a playful haha funny story, this stuff isn’t meant to be taken seriously at all 

“So are you a virgin?” 

You scowled at the phone perched on your nightstand. 

“No,” you lied, continuing to paint your big toe. 

Oddly enough, after the whole nature-calling theatre debacle, JJ not only apologized profusely when the movie ended, but he actually pursued you even harder the week following. The universe really did work in mysterious ways.

He quadruple texted you during the day, sent you funny pictures of him lallygagging around the town with The Pogues, and called you every night until you both fell asleep. 

At first you found it clingy as hell, but seeing JJ in the girl-filter or watching videos of him pranking John B sleeping had you entertained enough to actually respond. 

Tonight’s phone topic was 21 Questions, and like the fuck boy he was, ‘what’s your favorite color’ turned dirty in a matter of minutes. 

“What’s your body count?” you asked, actually curious about what that figure might be. 

“Hm,” you could hear him smacking his lips, “To be honest, I don’t really know.”  

“Are you serious?” 

“Well,” he spluttered through the line, “I stopped keeping count after like 30. If I had to give a range it’d probably be from 50 to 70.” 

Your nose crinkled. “Charming.” 

Just then, you heard your mom’s voice echo from the front door, “Y/n! Package came in for you!” 

“One sec,” you told the blondie on the phone and waddled down the hall on your heels, careful of your wet toes. 

Ripping open the box, you gasped at the rows of assorted lacy thongs Annalise ordered yesterday to be sent to your house. You forgot rich people could afford express shipping. 

“Everything good?” JJ questioned through the line. 

“Yeah, uh, just a little shocked at how big the, uh, water bottle I ordered is.”

Your hand clawed through the stash, feeling how nice the silk and lace felt. No surprise, it was also a very expensive brand. You considered keeping a few for yourself. 

“Hm, interesting,” JJ responded, “Anyways, continuing our game, do you have any kinks, like in bed?” 

You held up a red g-string, inspecting the tiny bows lining the crotch area. “Yeah, I have a few.” 

------------------------------- On your next day off, JJ invited you to go fishing with him and his friends. He picked you up early to grab some equipment from the store. Afterwards, you both sprawled on his bed, waiting for the others to arrive. 

“Hey JJ?” you asked, hand tangled in his gold locks while he played some game on his phone. 

“Hm?” 

“So do you remember the other night when we talked about our kinks?” you asked as seductively as your inexperienced self could. 

He immediately halted his game, a sly smirk danced its way across his lips. “Yeah...” 

“Well,” you bit your lip, “I do have this one that just really turns me on.” 

“I’m listening,” he piped, running a hand up and down your thigh. 

You put on your best amateur sex-minx face, blinking up at him. “It’s a little weird though.” 

He shifted positions so he laid between your thighs, kissing up your exposed stomach from your crop-top. “I don’t care. If it gets you wet baby, I’m all for it.” 

“Okay then... I actually have a present for you.” 

Sliding out from under him, you scrambled through your bag and pulled out the red g-string. JJ whistled from his bed in response, leaning back on his arms at the edge.

“That’s sexy as fuck,” he dragged you closer by the back of your thighs, “Try it on for me real quick, before the rest of the Pogues get here.” 

“Oh no no no,” you hung the underwear out to him, “It’s for you.” 

JJ’s mouth went agape, his eyes nearly exploding. “What the fuck y/n?! Are you kidding me?” 

You pouted and sulked away with a huff. “I knew it! I knew you’d make fun of me! I thought I could trust you JJ!” You covered your face and wailed like a child who couldn’t get her way. If this wasn’t your Oscar-winning moment you didn’t know what was. 

“Hey, hey, hey, wait,” JJ cooed, stroking his hand up your shoulders behind you. “I didn’t mean it like that. I wasn’t making fun of you, I was just a little shocked that’s all.” 

“But you think it’s weird!” you cried out, refusing to meet his eyes. 

“Well,” he scratched the back of his head, “I mean... you really want me to wear it?” 

You sniffled and nodded. 

“And this turns you on?” 

You nodded again, facing him. “I just, I think it’s so sexy when a man can embrace his sexuality like this you know?” 

“I guess... do you just want me to try it on?” 

“That’d be nice,” you rubbed the side of your arm, “Maybe you could even wear it today when we go out? It’ll be under your shorts so no one will see.” 

“Are you kidding me? N-” 

Your puppy-dog eyes stopped him dead in his tracks, threatening to burst into tears again. Boy, was this guy putty in your hands. 

He sighed, swiping the underwear from your hand. “Fine, but we do not mention this to any of my friends, got it?” 

You quickly shook your head with an excited smile, knowing damn well the thong was high-cut.

Minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom, giving you a little show of his new undergarments. You had to admit, under all those baggy shorts laid a nice pair of perky buns. The sight of him trying to body roll on the floor made you fall back cackling at his Magic Mike attempts. 

Annalise definitely should’ve ordered a size up because his rising bulge was stretching out the lace that was clinging on for dear life. You had to shield your beet-red face. 

The ring of the doorbell sent JJ scurrying to find his pants while you walked to the front to answer it. In came his friends- John B, Kiara, and Pope- who you greeted just as the blonde sauntered out of his room as if nothing was fishy was going on. 

“So, who’s ready to hit the water?” John B asked as the guys gathered up the fishing equipment. 

You followed the herd out to the docks where the famous HMS Pogue sat. JJ walked a little ahead of you and Kiara, casually picking at the wedgie through his shorts. Kiara scrunched her nose in disgust while you snorted and had to bite your lip from bursting out laughing.

Riding along the marsh, you chatted with Kiara on the back deck while the boys casted the net at the front. She raved all about the new tarot deck she bought and even practiced some palm readings on you. You didn’t know her very well, seeing as she attended the Kook school, but you were glad she was easy to get along with. 

“So what’s the deal with you and JJ?” she asked out of nowhere. From the corner of your eye, you could see Pope do a discreet double-take at her question.

“Um, I’m not really sure,” you answered, “We’re just hanging out, I guess.” 

“Well, you’re the first girl he’s ever brought to hang out with us,” she revealed, “Or even really hung out with in general, for that matter.” 

A sharp gasp from the boys snapped you both out of your conversation. There, at the tip of the boat, was JJ bending over the net with the prominent lacy bows of his g-string exhibited for the world to see. 

John B and Pope doubled over cackling like a pack of hyenas. “JJ what the actual fuck!” 

The blonde whipped upright instantly once he caught on, hand flying to cover his backside. His entire face went the brightest shade of red. “Shut the fuck up! Or I’ll kill you both!” 

Pope fell to the wooden floor of the deck, trying to regain his breath from the laughter as John B doubled over on top of him. 

“Stop it you guys!” Kiara scolded at the boys who were practically in tears. She had to hold back a few giggles herself. “If JJ wants to wear that then let him! I think it’s,” she accidentally snorted, “I think it’s cool!” 

JJ fastened his shorts and began play-fighting the hyenas. Meanwhile you filled your girls chat in on the hilarious scene, trying to muffle your own snickering. 

-----------------------------

“You want to be a what when you grow up?” 

“A hairstylist,” you repeated through the phone. You hoped the pitch change in your voice wasn’t too much to give yourself away. Nevermind the fact that you knew nothing about hair as yours was always wet from surfing. 

“Uh okay,” JJ responded, “That was kinda unexpected but you do you I guess.”  

You slouched on the old-fashioned armchair in Annalise’s condo while your friends gathered around to listen in on yours and JJ’s call. A fit of snickers and shushes flew through the room as they tried to suppress their noise. 

“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to practice on people for a while now. I need to have experience to get into this beauty school I’ve been looking at,” you went on, “Do you think I could try something on you tomorrow?” 

You heard him scratch through the line. “Uh, why me? You don’t have any other friends that you could do it on?” 

“Because JJ! You’re like the only blonde I know. And I really want to perfect my bleaching skills. C’mon please! It’ll only be like a shade lighter. You’ll hardly even notice,” you promised in your well-rehearsed begging voice. 

“I’m not sure about this one, Y/n. It seems a little risky. Pope and John B are still ragging me for the underwear.” 

“Hmph,” you took the phone and held it closer to you, “Come onnnn JJ! I swear it’ll be fine. Please just do me this teensy little thing. I might even return the favor.” Your voice sang at the last bit.

He hiked in a long breath. “F-Fine. Just promise me it won’t be noticeable!” 

“Promise!” you cheered as the quad around you erupted in their silent happy dances. “Okay I’m going to go now, see you tomorrow before Sarah’s birthday Loverboy!” You sent him air kisses through the phone and hung up. 

“Men are so easy!” Sophia drawled, taking a huge bite of her ice cream pint. 

“You’re getting so good at this y/n!” Arabella pretend to wipe away tears, “I’m such a proud mama!” 

Maia whisked into her room and popped out seconds later, handing you a bottle of squeeze hair dye. “Here it is. Use it wisely young grasshopper.” 

------------------------------

You showed up to JJ’s house the next day. Thankfully, his dad was out a work so you had the entire house to yourself. Lord knows you needed it with the mild trauma you were about to put this boy through. 

You had JJ sit in the bathroom, away from the mirror with his head leaned back and eyes closed. Clumsily, you applied the dye like the Youtube video you watched the night before. Needless to say, you were getting it everywhere- on your clothes, JJ’s clothes, the counters. 

It was a disaster. But you played it cool, reminding JJ to keep his eyes shut or the dye will burn them. After wrapping his head in foil sheets and waiting 20 minutes, you bent him over the shower and washed everything out. 

Drying his still covered hair in the towel, you yanked it off him as he turned to the mirror and let out a deafening, ear-splitting shriek. 

“WHAT THE FUCK! OH MY GOD!” 

JJ looked like he was about to cry, horror-stricken, at his bright new bubblegum pink hair. 

“What the fuck is this?! What am I going to do?!” he paced back and forth in the clustered bathroom, “Sarah’s surprise party is tonight! John B’s gonna kill me if I don’t go! People can’t see me like this!” 

You bit your finger, glancing off to the side. “It was a mistake! I’m so sorry! It was supposed to be ash blonde but I might’ve gotten strawberry blonde instead.” 

JJ grabbed your shoulders, desperation drowning his eyes. “You have to fix this right now y/n! We have to be at the beach in an hour!” 

“You can’t bleach it again right now,” you protested, “You’ll fry your hair and then it’ll look like a bird’s nest!” 

“Then what are we going to do?! I can’t go outside like this!” 

---------------------------------

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” 

Throwing your head back, you finished the remains of the beer and tossed the cup into a nearby bin. The small crowd yelped as you threw your hands up. 

JJ crept up behind you and lifted you in the air, spinning you around. “Fuck yeah y/n!” 

You patted on the backwards cap on his head and he let you back down, pecking your cheek. 

Minutes before you guys arrived, he was able to rummage through is drawers for a hat big enough to stuff his Strawberry Shortcake hair into. Some specks still peeked out underneath, but, in the dark, you couldn’t really tell the island’s golden boy was now a pink poodle. 

The birthday girl, Sarah Cameron, skipped over to the group around you and thanked everyone for coming. She had her fingers linked with her new boo and party organizer, John B, as she hugged all her friends. 

You met her briefly after the big ‘surprise’ chant when she first arrived. When she referred to you as ‘JJ’s girl’ in front of everyone, you blushed and ignored her comment even though her and basically all the girls there were wondering the same thing. 

If only they knew. 

In your peripheral, you spotted your sabotage squad casually stroll into the beach and blend in with the pack of dancing kids. It was time to initiate Plan D. 

As the party progressed, you clung onto JJ side due to the fact that you hardly knew anyone there. You sat in his lap during a few drinking games and he even held you up while you did a keg stand. 

You were both dancing tipsy for a bit near the bonfire. His hands roamed your body while you pressed your ass to his crotch. You giggled when he bent over and kissed up your neck. 

“It’s getting kind of crowded now,” you mentioned at the growing swarm of people. Word probably got out about the party which definitely drew the hordes of tourists that were arriving by the dozen. JJ hummed against your skin. 

“We could get out of here for a bit,” you suggested, “Maybe go for a little dip in the water?” 

You felt his ears perk. He eyed you questioningly while you sauntered away from him and the throng of people, motioning for him to follow.

And he did. Just like a lost puppy. 

Both of you moved to a secluded section of the beach. The waves were calmer, and the music from the party muffled against the sound of the water crashing. 

“What is your cute little ass up to now,” JJ teased as you peeled off your top to set on a rock, revealing a sexy push-up black bikini. Again, one of Maia’s. 

“Come on! Let’s swim for a bit,” you coaxed, slipping out of your shorts. He grinned when you backed towards the water.

Here goes nothing. 

Sultrily, you undid the back string of your bathing suit and flung it onto the sand. JJ’s lips parted slightly. You swore his spirit left his body for a moment. 

You bit your lip. Still locking eye contact, you discarded your bottoms next. 

Twirling your nude body around, ass in full view, you cocked your head back at the awestruck teenage boy. “What? Cat’s got your tongue? Are you gonna come in or just stand there?” 

You’d never seen anyone undress at the speed JJ did, sans hat and everything. “Oh my God!” you squealed at the sight of him stepping out of the pink thong you gave him, “I can’t believe you wear those still!” 

He darted towards you and the ocean, the smile on his face stretched all the way to his sculpted cheek bones. “Hey, you like them and they make my ass look good. It’s a win-win for everyone!”

You also couldn’t help but notice his, uh, junk that was swinging while he ran with you. One peep at it and everything clicked in your head as to why women were obsessed with him. It was a very pleasing sight. 

Knees deep in the water, his hands drew up your sides. He ogled at your bare body, radiated by nothing but the moon, and you shifted a bit to make sure his back was fully facing the shore. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he rasped, resting his hands just atop the swell of your butt. “Fuck,” he purred, “C’mere.” 

Bending down, he crashed his lips onto yours, stroking up and down your backside. With one eye open, you peeked towards the rocks where two dark shadows hunched over and scurried away swiftly. 

Turning your attention back to the kiss, you briskly pulled away and splashed him before he could react. 

“Oh you wanna play huh?” he taunted and lunged at you while you playfully shrieked. 

You giggled as he picked you up, hand under your neck and knees, spinning you around a few times before dropping you at a slightly deeper end. You floated back up and splashed at him again with all your might. 

JJ swam towards you and wrapped your legs around his waist under the water, only your heads above the water at this point. “You’re so fun,” he gushed, kissing you again, a little more forcefully this time. 

You two stayed that way for a bit until you heard the kids from the party faintly singing ‘Happy Birthday’. 

“Fuck!” you shouted before scrambling out the water with JJ on your trail. You were able to pick up your bikini from the sand and pull it on. But once you got back to the rock, the only thing left was a single pink thong. 

“Where the fuck did our clothes go?!” JJ hollered, outraged. 

“Oh my God!” you joined, “Maybe some raccoons took them!” 

Not even bothering with your preposterous presumption, he held his hands up to his head in stress. “What the fuck am I gonna do? I have to go back through the party to even get to the car! And I have fucking pink hair!” 

“Uhh, maybe you could swim through the water past them? I could meet you on the other side with a towel.” 

“Okay okay! Just hurry!” he urged, hurrying back into the water in just the skimpy underwear. 

You jogged back to the party that died down by quite a bit. Only close friends remained. 

“Where’s JJ?” Pope asked as you surveyed the area, “He missed the whole cake. We were looking for a lighter for ages.” 

You merely shrugged. “Not sure, maybe he left for a bit?” 

Pope glanced around, confused until a voice- Sophia’s voice- shrieked from the sides. “Oh my gosh is that JJ?!”

A few gasps emitted from the crowd as Arabella and Annalise shone their flashlights at the bubblegum head perched on top of the water. 

“JJ what the fuck are you doing?!” John B yelled, “And why the fuck is your hair pink?!”

JJ looked as if he’d seen a ghost. He laughed sheepishly, “Yeah about that I-” 

Before he could finish, the tide pulled out to reveal the fuchsia g-string on his hips. John B face palmed himself and shielded Sarah’s eyes from the indecent scene. 

The party exploded in laughter, Pope and Kiara fell to their knees on the sand, joining the mass.

Middle fingers in the air, JJ dashed through the roaring flock and to the car. “Fuck you all! But happy birthday Sarah!” 

---------------------------------

note: hehehehhe. okay i had fun writing dis. pls msg me to be tagged!! 

chapter six

tags: @obxlife​​ @rudyypankow​​ @yeehaw87​​ @ilymarkchan​​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​​ @tangledinsparkles​​ @toloveortobeinlove​​ @pixelated-pogues​​ @normatural​​ @teamnick​​ @drizzlethatfalls​​ @hazelgirl355​ @wicked-laugh​ @jjmaybankswife​ @ponyboys-sunsets​ @5am-cigarette​ @everydayimfangirling​ @angvelics​ @poguecollins​ @xealia​ @floridabornandraised​ @girlsru1eboysdroo1​ @booksandshish​ @apoguecalledjj​ @bananasfromtarget​ @lulbabes @arthiriticcricket​ @lasnaro​ @aaleksmorozova​ @himarisolace​ @obxmxybxnk​ @lopineapples​ @x-lulu​ @danicarosaline​ @llvinlavidaloca​ @toofarawaytobreathe​ @llvinlavidaloca​ @danicarosaline​ @ilovejjmaybank​ @socialwriter​ @searchinfornarnia159​ @1-800-jjslut​ @jolomez​ @lopineapples​

[kuiinncedes]

HI JEANNE I AM SO GLAD UR DOING PROMPTS!!! can i prompt general #24 for quinntina with some kuinn friendship maybe pls???? 🥺🥺💞💗💞💗💞💗💞💗

hi rae thanks for prompting!!! <333

General 24 “I haven’t seen (her/him/them) smile in months.”

this got longggg 2796 ish words 👀 (i edited it after pasting into tumblr tho so idk exactly :P) i think this is the longest thing i’ve posted?? i hope it doesn’t suck <3

(also small mention of homophobic parent(s) (mostly quinn’s mom) and just not great parenting... also blood and death mention warning (but like just in conversation?))

i’m like weirdly nervous about this one sdlhgkjf *screams and hits post*

--

“What’s wrong with Tina?”

Kurt gives Quinn a sideways look, fixing his hair in the mirror on his locker. “Tina Cohen Chang? Why are you asking about her?”

Quinn shrugs, trying to play innocent and nonchalant. “I haven’t seen her smile in months.” Because since the beginning of the year, Tina always smiled at her as she walked into their first class and the only one they share, but now she doesn’t, if she even comes to class on time at all.

Kurt looks at her knowingly and Quinn pushes his arm lightly. “Shut up,” she grumbles. “I’m serious.”

“I’ve noticed it, too,” Kurt says after a moment, following Quinn’s gaze to Tina arriving at her locker. They watch as she hurriedly puts some books in her bag and quickly walks off again, head down and giving a wide berth to everyone she passes. 

“Yeah, and that,” Quinn says, “it’s like she’s… scared or something.” She looks at Kurt whose jaw has tightened. Quinn squeezes his arm lightly and he smiles a little at her. 

“I can ask Mercedes,” he says reluctantly as he shuts his locker and they start walking down the hall. “She’d know more than me, but… yeah, I don’t think she’s even been in glee lately.”

Quinn’s barely paying attention and almost runs into another student before Kurt pulls her out of the way. “You know, it’s a little creepy that you noticed this at all,” he teases, a glimmer in his eye, and Quinn elbows him and follows him into their next class.

-

Mercedes doesn’t give them any new information, and then Quinn -- Quinn wants to forget about it, but she can’t. She keeps stealing glances at Tina in the halls, during class, at lunch. She knows Kurt’s right, that it is a little creepy, but… 

They’ve been around each other’s circles since the beginning of high school, and a friendly wave from Tina one morning was the only thing keeping Quinn feeling normal when the least normal thing possible had happened to her the night before. She didn’t have Kurt yet, she barely had any friends because of her work to uphold her status as the ice-cold head Cheerio. Tina was kind to her when she was spiraling after her world had turned upside down and no one was around to support her, to turn it back around. 

So she just wants to know if Tina’s okay. Because of that. No other reason.

-

Quinn gets her chance a week later. 

She doesn’t expect to see Tina today -- she isn’t in English and hadn’t been for a few days. Quinn tries to ignore her growing concern; after all, she still doesn’t actually know anything about Tina’s life.

When Mrs. Harrison splits them off into groups of two for a new project, Quinn is last to pick her partner and everyone else has already paired off.

“Tina’s absent today, I’ll work with her,” Quinn says airily, playing with the end of her ponytail and tapping her pencil on the desk. She acts like she doesn’t care (why would Quinn Fabray have any reaction to getting paired with a relative social nobody for a project?) but part of her is… looking forward to it. Not only because of her persisting concern about what’s going on with Tina, but also because she does genuinely want to spend time with her. So maybe this is her chance.

She tells Kurt about it at his locker between classes and he rolls his eyes and smiles fondly at her. 

It’s the end of the day when Quinn realizes she doesn’t actually have Tina’s number to contact her; it’s too late to ask Kurt or Cedes, she stayed after school to retake a math test and she’s the only one here, as far as she knows.

Except she’s not. There’s another car in the student lot. Quinn glances at it and stops when she realizes someone is sitting in the driver’s seat -- Tina. Before she can talk herself out of it, Quinn walks over and taps on her window. 

Maybe she should’ve talked herself out of it, she thinks as Tina jumps and seems to steel herself before rolling down her window. Quinn smiles a little, apologetically. A wave of warm air comes from inside the car, like Tina’s been blasting the heat even in the relatively warm spring weather.

“Um, hey,” Quinn says awkwardly. “So… you weren’t in English today, but we’re doing a project and you and I are partners.” Her voice goes up at the end as if it’s a question. She’s really doubting this now. Tina looks like she’s sick and she’s gripping the steering wheel and not meeting Quinn’s eyes. “Or…” Quinn clears her throat slightly, putting her head Cheerio, most popular girl in school mask back on. “It’s fine if you don’t. Just tell Mrs. Harrison. I’ll do it myself.”

“No,” Tina says, looking up at her finally, and Quinn thinks there’s something different about her eye color. Her smile is tight and forced. “Sounds good.”

Quinn raises an eyebrow. “You sure? Doesn’t sound like it sounds good.”

Tina clenches her jaw. “Yeah, it’s good, sorry, I’m just tired,” she says in one breath. “Here, I’ll, um -- ” She fumbles with her phone and offers it to Quinn. “Put your number in, I’ll text you.”

Quinn’s fingers brush Tina’s when she takes the phone and she almost jumps at how cold her skin is, despite the warmth emanating from the car. Even Kurt, who runs cold, isn’t nearly this cold to Quinn’s own unnaturally warm body temperature…. Her concern grows and she watches Tina for another moment, who’s closed her eyes and leaned back in her seat. 

“Are you… okay?” Quinn asks hesitantly.

“I’m fine.” 

“Forgive me for saying this? But you… don’t look fine.”

Tina gives her a sideways look. “Yeah, well.” She closes her eyes again.

Quinn enters her number but doesn’t give Tina’s phone back when she’s done. “Hey, seriously, I -- what’s wrong?”

Tina just exhales defeatedly. “I can’t tell you.” 

“Try me.”

She shakes her head.

“Your skin is fucking freezing, you have the heat on high in the car in almost 70-degree weather, you look different and not in a good way. I know -- I know we don’t talk much, Tina, but please, let me help you.” Quinn even surprises herself with the last part. It’s far from the hard facade she hides behind at school in her Cheerios uniform, even though she’s still wearing that right now. 

Tina stays still and silent and Quinn fidgets with her phone. 

“I really don’t know what to do here,” Tina says softly, opening her eyes, glancing at Quinn again then back away. “I literally… have no. Fucking. Clue.” It sounds like she’s talking to herself more than anything and Quinn isn’t sure how to respond.

“Well, I… whatever I can do -- ”

“Have you ever had something… absolutely, absolutely insane happen to you? Like… you would never believe it yourself but it happened to you and you have to fucking deal with it so you have to believe it.” Tina’s breaths come more quickly as she continues, her fists curling tighter around the steering wheel. “And I don’t know how to fucking deal with it, but I fucking have to because -- because I have to and I’m this thing now -- ”

“Hey, Tina, hey, breathe,” Quinn says hurriedly, trying to put a hand on her shoulder but the angle from outside the car window is awkward and she doesn’t know if it would be appreciated. Her mind spins with those words -- you have to believe it, I’m this thing now -- and it’s scarily similar to Quinn’s own thoughts when she first… turned, over three years ago.

But Tina can’t be a werewolf too, her skin… Quinn thinks. Thankfully Tina’s breathing has mostly gone back to normal and she just looks exhausted again, her forehead resting on the steering wheel and hands loose in her lap now. What the fuck. What the fuck am I about to do.

Despite all her instincts and rationale screaming at her not to do it, Quinn says shakily, “I think I get it,” and when Tina turns to look at her, she inhales and says in a whisper, so quiet she’s not sure if Tina can hear, “I’m a werewolf.”

Tina stares and Quinn starts thinking and thinking about how she can take it back, it was a joke, there’s obviously no such thing as werewolves, what the fuck was she saying, what was she thinking revealing this to a near stranger --

“I think… I think I’m technically a vampire.” 

Oh. Quinn stares back at her.

Some of the tension seems to have gone out of Tina’s body. There’s another silence. “Can I trust you?” Tina asks quietly.

“What -- ? I mean, yeah…” Quinn swallows. “Yes, you can. Of course. I think if there’s one person you could trust with this, it’s me.” 

Please trust me.

“Thank you,” Tina whispers, like she just has no energy to speak louder. “I just can’t think right now, I think I need… like, fucking blood, probably, I don’t know…” She looks down at her hands hopelessly. “I think I might be dying.” She laughs humorlessly. “Again, I guess.”

Quinn thinks for a moment, taking in the almost metallic pallor of Tina’s skin and the difference in her irises that she noticed earlier. “How long have you… been a vampire?” 

Is this the answer to what she’s been wondering about?

“A few months, I guess.” (There it is… Quinn wonders if anyone might have noticed something different in her for the months after her first night as a wolf.) “There was another vampire -- nicer than the one who bit me -- ” her voice goes hard and tight on bit -- “who gave me some blood for a while. But I don’t know where they are now. They said they never stayed in one place for a long time. So I guess I’m starving to death. I don’t know.”

“Can’t you, like, get blood… somewhere?”

“I can barely stand talking to you right now, to be honest,” Tina says. “I don’t think I could go near other people right now.”

Right. Quinn curses her complete lack of knowledge on vampires besides that from popular media, which probably doesn’t apply very well to this situation. This feels absolutely ridiculous, though she’s been through weirder herself… still. Her first full moon was a disaster and she doesn’t know how to deal with this either. But… 

“I might be able to help,” she says, standing up straighter and finally handing Tina’s phone back to her. Tina pauses before taking it, as if she forgot about it; Quinn has, too, for the most part. The project is definitely not a priority now. “I know absolutely nothing about vampires,” Quinn continues, “but I have my own needs as a werewolf. I know a place -- it’s where I hunt. Animals.”

Tina seems to wince at the words. Quinn vaguely remembers hearing about how Tina doesn’t eat meat, for the most part. She could probably avoid thinking about it when someone else was getting her blood, but this will be direct. This will be a change.

Quinn presses on. “You need blood. Everything in history about vampires says that -- they can’t all be wrong. Please let me help you.”

“Okay,” Tina says weakly, nodding a little. “Give me the address, or whatever -- ”

“I’m driving you. In this car. And staying with you.” Quinn doesn’t back down as Tina’s eyes snap to hers, and her mouth opens to protest. “Seriously. I’m helping you with this. And you’ll crash the car if you drive yourself.”

Her head falls back against the headrest. “You’re lucky I’m exhausted and dying, Fabray,” she grumbles. She gets out and goes around the front of the car into the passenger seat, and Quinn slides into the driver’s seat, putting her bag in the back. She instinctively reaches to turn down the heat, but remembers Tina’s freezing skin.

“You can turn it down,” Tina says. “I don’t even feel cold. I just wanted my skin to feel normal to other people, which clearly wasn’t working.” Quinn gives her a glance to make sure, but Tina is just leaned against the window, body slumped and tired. 

She turns it down just a little.

Then remembering something else Tina said earlier, Quinn asks warily, “Are you okay with me in the car right now? I know you said earlier you could barely stand it…”

Tina shrugs. “I mean, I have to be, don’t I?” Quinn doesn’t answer, and Tina looks over at her and chuckles a little. “Don’t worry, Fabray, I won’t kill you and drain your blood. Although it does sound… appetizing right now.”

“Haven’t you read Twilight? My blood tastes awful to vampires,” Quinn jokes, trying to lighten the mood as she pulls the car out of the school parking lot. 

“Is that really a thing?”

Quinn laughs lightly. “I think so, I don’t know. But that is something I’m thinking about when it comes to vampires, so I must’ve heard it somewhere.”

Tina hums. “I never read or watched Twilight. My parents wouldn’t let me; my mom said she thought Kristen Stewart seemed like a bitch.” She lets out a short laugh. “The irony.”

“Do your parents know?”

“No. Yours?”

“No.” It’s honestly too easy for Quinn to hide it from her mom and her mom’s boyfriend. They’re never home and when they are, they leave Quinn alone, which is fine by her, especially on full moons or random weird days when she needs to leave. She does whatever the fuck she wants; they don’t question it. She supposes there are worse ways to live, especially while being a werewolf.

“How am I supposed to tell them?” Tina asks, looking out the window. “I thought I’d have to worry about telling them I thought Kristen Stewart was hot, not that I had basically become her -- or, her character.”

“Well, you could lead with the first thing? Maybe that’ll make it a little easier to accept. Or you could lead with the second, and while they’re freaking out about that, just drop in that you like girls.”

“Ha ha.”

“It’s good advice, I just might follow it myself,” Quinn jokes.

“…You like girls?” Tina asks. “Or -- you don’t have to answer that, sorry -- ”

Quinn glances at her. “Yeah.” 

“Cool. Let me know how it goes, if you do follow that advice,” Tina teases lightly.

Quinn laughs harshly at the mere thought of coming out to her mom. She might’ve been able to come around about her teenage pregnancy, but Quinn doesn’t miss the tone her voice takes on when she asks about Kurt or when Quinn mentions him, when Quinn’s watching something on TV or reading a book, when she sees something in the news. 

“Well I’m not coming out anytime soon.”

“That’s fine,” Tina says, her voice soft and tired but sincere. 

“Kurt’s the only other person who knows, though, so… yeah, you know… trust thing.”

“Of course. Thanks for telling me.”

And Quinn does trust Tina, with this, with the werewolf thing… she’s wondering how Tina managed to win her trust so quickly... and friendship.

Hopefully, Tina trusts her enough for what they’re about to do.

“We’re here,” Quinn says, pulling into a dirt area surrounded by woods. She puts the car in park and hears Tina take a deep breath. She looks nervous and Quinn doesn’t need to imagine to have an idea of what’s going through her head right now. She takes one of her freezing hands in her own, holds it between them. “Tina. I’ll be here for you, okay? I’ll help you. Are you ready?”

“Absolutely not. Do you know anything about vampires hunting?”

“Is it so different from turning into a wolf and hunting?” Quinn jokes, then asks seriously, “Do you need a minute?”

“No.” Tina removes her hand to open the door and Quinn misses the contact, the… warmth, even from her cold skin. 

When she gets out of the car and comes up next to her, Tina shoots her a grateful smile -- small, but genuine. Something Quinn hasn’t seen in months. She’s missed it. 

(Shit, Kurt was right, she thinks, and if this is any indication, she won’t ever get tired of that smile.)

“Thank you, Quinn, for helping me with this.”

“Of course.”

Quinn’s hand suddenly finds itself in Tina’s again, and she can feel Tina’s hand shaking a little. Quinn gives her a small, reassuring squeeze. “Let’s go.”

***

small notes for after bc i didn’t want to “spoil” this before lol !!

this is in the werewolf!quinn / vampire!tina au i’ve written in before :) if u wanna check that out hehe here’s my fic tag :P 

this and this are the two that are most connected to this one tho if u want to read :3 especially the second one -- i think that’s kind of a continuation of this fic, or like the next scene i guess

no one really cares but i started out with this prompt thinking about a more canon s1 au where it was tina saying the prompt about quinn during her pregnancy but idk somehow it turned into this instead slfdkjkd

i really didn’t have many notes lmao that’s it thanks for reading if u did <3

[kitykat18]

Behind Their Smile

Seven boys who meet each other, help one another, but will that help them to get them out of there misery. are they gonna be okay or is it gonna make it worse? who is able to help them? are they gonna be okay? 

Nethan

 After school I usually have a part time job in a tank station, but today I was free, lucky!! After school today I went to the convenience store and bought some food, when I arrived at my house, which is actually a hut in an abandoned train station. I heard someone behind me ‘’you live here?’’ when I turned around I saw Tobias there with a surprised face. ‘’what the hell are you doing here?! Did you follow me?!’’ I asked ‘’well…yes I did follow, but before you get mad I have a good reason’’ ‘’it better be good’’ ‘’well you see it’s your birthday today’’  ‘’I don’t celebrate my birthday, and you know that’’  ‘’well that’s the whole thing, I found that weird so I wanted to surprise you. But I didn’t know you were hiding something like this. Why did you hide it?’’  ‘’because I don’t someone’s pity because of my situation’’  ‘’but if you told me or showed me I could’ve helped you, even know I can help you. It’s not bad to ask someone for help and you know that because I got that from you. But how did you get in this situation?’’ ‘’first come in.’’ We walked in and I made him some coffee. We sat down, and he went straight to the point. ‘’now tell me what happened’’  ‘’well when I was thirteen my parent died in a car crash, I had no siblings, so I stayed with my uncle. My uncle was a nice guy, he had to work hard for money, so I also started a part time job at a convenience store, to help him with some groceries and stuff. After a few month’s my uncle died of overworking, he already had a weak heart. He did leave some money but it wasn’t enough, so I asked a friend of mine if he had a place for me to stay in,  with a low rent. After asking he showed me this abandoned train station and told me that if I built a house here, I could live here without rent. So I took the deal. I started building, I know it’s not the best, but I like it and I can survive. But the place was too far from my part time job so I quit and found a tank station close by, and now I work there.’’  ‘’I see. So that why you’re grades came down. I thought that was weird, you are the smartest guy I know. I should’ve known by then. I guess I was just that stupid’’ he said, but it wasn’t his fault ‘’it’s not your fault. I didn’t tell you because I was scared of what you would think of me, after you would find out about it.’’  ‘’come on dude we are friends’’ he said why he put his arm around me. I guess this is what I needed it, I should have told him sooner.                                                                            After talking a bit, he started looking around, not that there is a lot to see. ‘’what is this? Did you write these?’’ he asked, I didn´t know what he was talking about until he turned around with a black notebook in his hands. ‘’wait, no don´t read that’’ I said while walking towards him, but he started acting like a child and running out of the house. ‘’if you tell me what it is’’ he said. ‘’fine! I tell you so give it to me’’ ‘’no, tell me first and then I will give it to you’’ honestly he is such a child. ‘’these are lyrics, well rap lyrics’’ I confessed, ‘’I didn’t know you could rap, why didn’t you tell me?’’  ‘’I don’t rap, I just like making them’’  ‘’can you try and rap it for me’’ ‘’I just told you I don’t rap’’ ‘’yes, you said you don’t rap, doesn’t mean you can’t. so let me hear it.’’ After some complaining, I rapped a little part of my rap. ‘’see you can rap. Why aren’t you showing that to anyone else?’’ ‘’well because I can’t get anything from it. If I rap on the street I only hear people complaining, so I stopped’’ ‘’so you want to get some money for the rapping’’ I nodded. ‘’I just know the place, it’s a place I go for some easy money. You down?’’  ‘’is it illegal?’’  he nodded no ‘’I trust you on this, lead the way’’

After I asked him to lead the way, he took me to a restaurant. ‘’weren’t you going to show me where I could rap’’  ‘’be quit not everyone knows about this place. Chef!!’’ I heard him scream, after that I saw a tall man, taller than me, come out of the kitchen. ‘’suga, my man!’’ he said while laughing historical, he had a deep voice. ‘’how are doing, I haven’t seen you for a while. Why didn’t you come?’’ ‘’I was busy, sorry. But I brought someone and he is good’’ the tall man looked at me up and down ‘’well if you say he is good he must be. You know where to go’’ they shaked hands and Tobias walked to the door which was the back door. ‘’is suga your stage name?’’ I asked ‘’yes, you like it. Don’t worry you will get one too after they see you rap’’ ‘’I see, I cant choose my one name?’’ ‘’depends on how good you are, but since you will show a original. I think you can choose you own stage name. so I think its better if you think of one right now’’ I nodded.                                                                                                                                        After walking for a minute there was a stair that was going down, after we went down we could hear some music and someone rap. When we arrived at the door Tobias turned and said ‘’welcome to the MAZE’’ and he opened the door. I heard a loud beat and someone rap and the crowd cheering. After that person was done a man with a microphone ‘’and that was Ethan everyone give him a applause. Now it’s 9 pm and you guys now what that means, well expect for the newbies, yes I said newbies. cause today is audition time’’ everyone cheered. ‘’ calm down everyone, tonight we have not 2 but 4 participants, how about that. This is gonna be one hella of a night you guys. Goodluck to all the newbies’’ after that some music was played my lower than before. I saw Tobias walk to me ‘’well what do you think of it for your first time?’’                                                  ‘’it’s nice, but it’s not only rap is it?’’  ‘’your quick. But yes it’s also singing and dancing.’’ ‘’I see, but how is this going to work?’’  ‘’okey let me explain. There are three categories rap, sing and dance. You will go in group rap with me and some other people, there are different levels. The higher you go up with levels the higher the amount will be. But to go levels up you need to win competition, those are 1 on 1 in the beginning but the higher you go, the more people you need to work with. So  I hope you can work with people and can listen to other people, because if you can’t you wont be able to win the matches. Right now I’m at level 9, it’s a low level but that’s because I haven’t come in a while. There are 70 levels, every 10 levels later 1 person joins your group. Every group has 7 people in it, and when you have your group you still have one match of 10 levels you do with your group and that’s the last contest. Oh and on that day there is a high possibility that agents of some big companies and some small companies, and it’s the choice of the leader to pick the company you want to join. Does that answer your question.’’  ‘’yes it does, just one more question. Can you still choose me even if I am still not higher than level 10?’’                                            ‘’yes it is, I will just put your name on my list, but I can’t compete until you finish you first 10 levels.’’  ‘’I see, do you already have company you want to join?’’ ‘’what are you talking about, you are going to be our leader.’’ ‘’wait! What?! Why, I just started this stuff’’  ‘’yes, but I know from myself that I can’t keep up with people I get angry easy, and you have a way of talking to people that puts them in ease.’’ I know that he can get pretty angry ones he is annoyed, but still this is a lot of pressure. ‘’what if I pick a company the rest of the group don’t want, and what if’’ ‘’okey I’m stopping you there. Look you don’t have to choose the company on the day it self, they will leave there company cards with you and then you can talk to the rest of the group.’’  ‘’I see, can I still pick someone else as the leader later on the contest?’’  he nodded a no.   ‘’okey, bu’’ when I wanted to say something the host came up the stage.  ‘’you guys let get this started!!’’ everyone started cheering. ‘’our first participant is Jonathan and he will be singing for us, let all hear some applause for him!!’’ everyone cheered, whistled and started clapping. I knew i know that name it was Jonathan from our school, but what is he doing here, I thought he was loaded. He started singing and the whole room was in silence. His voice was so nice to listen to he had a high voice and clear, it was beautiful. When he was done it was still quit for a few seconds and then he started clapping and cheering, and me too. I really liked his voice. The judges were talking among them self, when they were done the told him he was accepted. One of the judge asked ‘’do you know what your name will be?’’ ‘’yes I chose the name Jin’’ after saying that he walked of the stage. I walked up to him, ‘’heyy Jonathan!’’ he turned around and was surprised to see me. ‘’wait you are… Nethan right.’’ ‘’yes I am, what are you doing here?’’ ‘’when I heard about this place I thought that I wanted to something new.’’  ‘’I see. You were amazing out there’’ ‘’thanx, when are you up?’’ ‘’I think I’m third’’ ‘’okay well good luck.’’ He waved and left.                                                                                         

After the second participant the host called my name, I went up the stage and it was frighting but I mustered up my courage and started rapping own of my own rap. When I was done one of the judges asked me ‘’I don’t know this rap, who’s is it’’ ‘’it mine sir’’  everyone looked shocked and then the judges started talking among them again, after the were done they told me I was accepted. The judge: ‘’ did you choose a name?’’  ‘’yes sir, I chose RM’’                                                  

The rest of the participants didn’t go through, they were good but most of them forgot there lyrics or there moves.   Now the game started. Let’s hope I can find people who are willing and want to join my group.

~note~

i’m sorry if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes, it’s my first time posting my story. Please leave down your opinion so that i can learn from them, and if you like you can put down your own ideas for books that i should write, mabey a short story. you can also message me :). 

This book is an idea I had from one of BTS their album, which is called; The most beautiful moment in life: young forever. It’s a very nice album, please listen to it and watch it. 

[bobasheebaby]

75 Siren Prompts

75 prompts perfect for your mermaid au.

1 Ted: “They know you're helping him/her, you know. They're looking for you.”

Ben: “I know.”

Ted: “Alright, go on. Be careful.”

Ben: “Thank you.”

2 Ben: “We don't know him/her! He/She could hurt him/her!”

Maddie: “I don't like it either, okay? Him/Her being with someone else. But we have to put our feelings aside.”

Ben: “You can do that?”

3 Xander: “Another weird night. Courtesy of the merpeople.”

4 Ryn: “He/She killed my people and it starts with love. Like NAME loves NAME.”

5 Ryn: “He/She lied to me. He/She should tell me about his/her family.”

Maddie: “He/She was afraid of losing you.”

6 Ryn: “In water we kill for food ... protection. NAME’s family kill because they are angry. Murder.”

Ben: “I am ashamed that I am related to someone who could do that.”

Ryn: “Yes. Shame.”

Ben: “I made a mistake! I should've told you.”

7 Ryn: “Why do humans do things like this?”

Ben: “Sometimes because they're afraid. Sometimes ... I don't know ... angry.”

8 Ryn: “These are our people. We stay.”

9 Ben: “NAME found out about my family ... what they did. He/She thinks that I was trying to hide it from him/her.”

Maddie: “Were you?”

Ben: “I don't know. Maybe.”

10 Ryn: “They are afraid?”

Ben: “They think that if humans knew, they would do something bad to them.”

11 Levi: “Maybe Ben and Ryn make baby.”

Ben: “That wouldn't help your species, though.”

12 Ryn: “We are many seasons without babies.”

Ben: “No one's gotten pregnant? How long?”

Ryn: “Very long.”

13 Nicole: “I'm on your side. I need you to remember that.”

14 Maddie: “NAME, what is this place?”

Ryn: “This is where NAME began.”

Ben: “You were born here?”

15 Xander: “Are you sure that this thing that's in your head ... it's not making you think that you have feelings for NAME? What if that's not real either? You have no idea what this thing could be doing to you.”

Maddie: “I had feelings for him/her before it happened.”

16 Maddie: “We're in love. The three of us!”

17 Nicole: “I never wanted to hurt anyone.”

18 Nicole: “I don't have to stick around anymore, but I am. For you.”

19 Ryn: “Military was bad to brother/sister, but good to NAME. “

Maddie: “For now. But we don't know what they want to do to you.”

20 Ryn: “In the water ... others in danger. He/She saved them, but he/she die.”

21 Xander: “Hey, good luck down there. Do your thing.”

22 Ryn: “We don't want this big fight. But we must, so we can go back home.”

23 Helen: “You don't have to stand there. If you're gonna be my night watchman, at least have a seat.”

24 Ryn: “NAME always with you.”

Maddie: “We/I love you.”

25 Dale: “Think. Think before you do anything.”

26 Dale: “So you killed him/her?”

Ryn: “Yes.”

Dale: “You saved my son’s/daughter's life. I'll never be able to thank you enough.”

27 Helen: “I know you don't understand me. No locks in the ocean, right?”

28 Ben: “You wanna stay involved? Okay. Tell them no. Make some noise, dad/mom. Do something.”

29 Helen: “Oh my God. You're beautiful.”

30 Helen: “They can't keep doing this. They're nocturnal. I'm not.”

31 Ryn: “He/She say NAME is human.”

32 Maddie: “I'm just glad I have this place. And the two of you.”

33 Ryn: “What do you think about?”

Maddie: “I think about NAME. And you.”

34 Helen: “Telling you wouldn't have worked. You have to feel it before you can believe.”

35 Maddie: “This is gonna take a miracle.”

Ben: “Well, lucky for us we've got duct tape.”

36 Susan: “Talk to me, please. Tell me what's going on. I want to help.”

37 Maddie: “NAME told us we couldn't stop the fight, but you tried anyway. Were you hearing it again? His/Her song? In your mind?”

38 Helen: “What the hell is going on?”

Ben: “Survival of the fittest.”

39 Xander: “I'm not the risk! They're the risk!”

40 Ben: “What if the way I feel about you has nothing to do with the song?”

41 Ben: “What if the way I feel about you has nothing to do with the song?”

42 Ryn: “In the ocean, we move forward. Always.”

43 Ryn: “He/She was leader. Now he/she must ask NAME for help.”

44 Xander: “I didn't get a chance to tell you. I'm sorry.”

45 Ryn: “He/She sang to you to escape from you, not because he/she loves you. He/She will not do it again.”

46 Ryn: “NAME tried to help us.”

Maddie: “I know, NAME. But he/she didn't, did he/she?”

47 Maddie: “What's going on?”

Helen: “It's a matriarchy. It seems NAME is now the dominant female.”

48 Maddie: “I'm going to stick with my dad/mom right now.”

Ben: “NAME ...”

Maddie: “I'll be back later. For NAME.”

49 Sheriff: “Those creatures, NAME, they can't be here.”

Maddie: “I know. They can learn and evolve like NAME did.”

Sheriff: “I don't want to have to choose a side, but if I do, this town comes first.”

50 Ryn: “It's okay. NAME is love.”

Donna: “Love.”

51 Ryn: “They killed us -- so many of us that the water was red with our blood.”

52 Ben: “NAME, tell me what's going on.”

Ryn: “Not here to take back. Here to kill.”

53 Ben: “You can't just go back. I need you here.”

54 Donna: “We take NAME back to his/her home.”

Helen: “I thought you only killed for survival, but now, aggression, plotting revenge. You're more human than I realized.”

Donna: “We are his/her family. He/She must come back.”

Helen: “What if he/she doesn't want to go with you? He/She seems very attached to his/her human friends.”

Donna: “Where. Is. NAME?”

55 Ryn: “Is NAME OK?”

Ben: “Yeah. NAME is good.”

56 Ben: “Will you sing to me again?”

57 Ryn: “I know I am part animal but I am part human.”

58 Maddie: “NAME was hurt, he/she came for us for help.”

59 Xander: “Where is my damn mermaid?”

60 Donna: “You like human.”

61 Ryn: “This man/woman, he/she hurt him/her.”

62 Ben: “I know what he/she did to you.”

63 Ryn: “Not safe on land. Not safe in water.”

64 Helen: “You can trust me because I am one of you.”

65 Helen: “I thought you might be by the water.”

66 Ryn: “In water we fight. I kill or you kill.”

67 Ben: “We would like to know more about you.”

68 Helen: “You don't know what you are dealing with.”

69 Maddie: “He/She almost killed you in the water.”

70 Maddie: “How do you subtly ask about a mermaid?”

71 Helen: “In their natural state in the water, they see you as prey. Their instinct is to kill. Humans never understood that.”

72 Ben: “What if there is a new predator out there? One that we haven't seen before.”

73 Chris: “Maybe it is some big cover up, but I am done running.”

74 Ben: “If your dad/mom finds out.”

Xander: “I'm calling the shots on this one!”

75 Xander: “It was an accident.”

[raptorific]

Series 11 of Doctor Who catches a lot of flack for being the first in the revived series to feature absolutely no returning monsters, villains, or characters other than the Doctor herself, but honestly that makes sense on both a Meta level and an In-Universe level

The Meta level is, obviously, that the barrier of entry for most Doctor Who fans is the baggage of its long history. While children are a bit more willing to use context clues or just be satisfied in the assumption that someone has answers to their questions even if it’s not them, adult viewers new to the show are more likely to watch the show with questions like “wait, who is that?” and “there’s an octopus inside that robot?” The long history and deep lore of the show is one of the best aspects, but it’s also one of the aspects that’s really only fun once you’ve already Gotten Into It. 

The new series did a fairly good job correcting this, to the point where fans who have never seen an episode of the classic series can say “I’ve been watching this show for 15 years,” which is a fairly beautiful thing! However, in this age of serialized television, and with the amount of hype Jodie Whittaker’s casting brought to the role, it made sense to have series 11 be the “you don’t need to watch 26 seasons of the classic series or 10 seasons of the new series to jump onboard.” By the time a Dalek finally shows up in the New Year’s Special, the new fans aren’t New anymore. They’ve learned how to watch the show, where the context clues are, are finally ready to enjoy the fun the show’s history brings, and then after that, they’re ready for series 12′s deep-dive into old enemies, returning companions, and the ever-deepening jumble of Gallifreyan Historical Nonsense. I’m sure that somewhere around Series 18 (2040) they’ll do a similar “lore-lite” season and we’ll have this conversation all over again. 

The In-Universe reasoning is genuinely pretty solid. The Doctor has just come from an incarnation where, as far as they know, all of their companions have died horrifically at the hands of the Master and Cybermen. The Twelfth Doctor’s final acts before regeneration were being reminded of who and what the Doctor is supposed to be, and more importantly, what he started out as, and his final words are a speech reminding his successor of what he’s learned. The Thirteenth Doctor is born haunted by the death of Clara Oswald and the cyber-conversion and death of Danny Pink and Bill Potts, as well as the death of his wife River. 

The first thing she does is she meets a group of people who are obviously going to become companions, and the first thing that happens? One of them is killed. From that point on, the series embarks on an arc where the 13th Doctor desperately tries to keep her companions away from anything to do with her Lore. They exclusively go to planets and time periods where nobody’s heard of The Doctor or fought her before, and avoid any adventures that raise questions about her past, questions that she inevitably dodges when they’re eventually asked anyway. 

Series 11 is the story of the Thirteenth Doctor desperately fleeing from her past under the belief that it kills any of her friends who come in contact with her. This arc culminates in what I’ve come to view as a two-part story: “The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos” and “Resolution.” TBoRAK features a new returning enemy, one she met earlier in the season, who killed her new friend, who’s now caught up with her and threatens the rest of her friends, and her whole planet. The message, of course, being “like vengeful alien supervillains, you can’t run from your grief forever, it only goes away when you actually deal with it.” Resolution, of course, involves her first interaction with the Daleks in this body, marking the end of an era of her trying to keep her companions safe by avoiding her baggage and the beginning of the Series 12 arc, where all of her baggage (old enemies, old companions, old incarnations, her home planet, the word “Shobogans”) shows up on her doorstep.

Without having seen her spend a whole season being like “let’s go on low-stakes, friendship building adventures! Don’t ask about me or my past! My ever-growing Rogues Gallery can’t hurt you if we don’t see them,” it wouldn’t hit quite as hard when the Cybermen turn up again and the Doctor snaps at her companions that she refuses to “lose anyone else to that.” The Master’s return in series 12 has a deeper impact if it came from a place of “I hoped they were safe from you,” knowing that the last update the Doctor had on Missy was “she’s evil again, and she killed Bill.” 

I understand where the frustration, for die-hard fans who wanted to see 13 in the Established Formula straightaway, but the fact of the matter is that Chibnall’s debut arc delivered something that, with the show’s almost 60-year history, should’ve been impossible. He’s found a way to simultaneously “pick up where his predecessor left off by building on existing character development and plot threads” and “replicate the experience of watching Doctor Who in the 60s before there were Recurring Villains or an Established Formula, so that when all that stuff shows up, all the new fans are primed for it.”

But, apparently “narrative cohesion” and “character development” are less important to the nerds on GallifreyBase than “the SJWs are trying to indoctrinate us with Identity Politics and the dreaded morality lectures,” which they pretend are a new phenomenon and not “the thing the show has been known for since the 70s”

[askkrenko]

Let’s Talk about Secret Lair

Now that we’ve had a week to stew and they’re coming out tomorrow, I’d like to take the time to give my full thoughts on each Secret Lair line and give them something resembling a grade of my own. I gave them initial thoughts on reveal, but now I’d like to speak a bit more structured.  This might get a bit long, so... After the Break!

THE BOX: I don’t have the box. I can’t judge the box. If the box is good quality, it could be worth like $10 of the price. If the box is bad quality, it’s trash. For my discussion here I’m going to be ignoring the box. The box looks sturdy enough, and pretty alright, so keep in mind that they each come with a special box.

Bitterblossom Dreams:

Value: Bitterblossom alone costs more than Bitterblossom Dreams. Certainly it’ll drop after this comes out, but Bitterblossom Dreams’ raw value is undeniable. It’s a cheap Bitterblossom, plus tokens. Style: Extended Art cards are always cool, especially on well-known permanents. it’s clearly Bitterblossom, but still has the text there for those who need it. The four tokens are each extended art as well, have different but matching art, and create a lovely panorama. My only complaint is that, for gameplay purposes, I think the panorama should’ve put the Bitterblossom itself either on the far right or the far left so that the cards would line up properly on the battlefield. As is, during gameplay the Bitterblossom will be to the saide and the tokens all together, creating an odd effect. Still, this is a relatively minor complaint. Usability: Bitterblossom is super usable. Very popular card in Legacy and Commander that sometimes sees real Modern play. 

Overall: Do you want a Bitterblossom? Bitterblossom Dreams is the most cost effective way to get it, and it’s super cool. Pretty straightforward. This is a good product, and yet...

Something feels off about the whole thing to me. Magic’s always been about selling cards and often including cool alt art versions for sale, but somehow the idea of a $30 product that’s just ONE playable card, even with the four tokens, feels very... off to me. I can’t complain about it because it’s a great deal, it just feels... so weird. Eldraine Wonderland:

Value: It’s five basic snow lands.  Yeah, these are like $8 each in foil for the Modern versions, but they’re still five basic lands in foil. Modern Horizons just gave us FULL ART foil snow lands. And regular full-art snow lands are 50 cents each now. The value here is terrible. Style: It’s... a foil land. Sure, the art is nice, but not ‘different’ or ‘special.’ It’s just nice art. In a normal frame. I award this no points.

Usability: Very low. I like the Snow-Covered Swamp... but a playset of Snow-Covered Swamps is not 1, nor is it 4. It’s 20-30, depending on format. And this set is all five. I don’t need Snow-Covered Islands, Mountains, or Forests. I need Swamps and Plains, and only if I can get two dozen of each. A set of one of each foil snow land does nothing for me. Even if I was willing to spend the price of $6 per foil snow land (which, to be fair, I might be- I’ve been amassing foil Zendikar and BFZ forests for one of my decks at about that price), I don’t want to have to buy all five at once and then go through the effort of trading/selling the ones I’m not using. Overall: This is bad and feels bad. Basic lands should not be $6 a pop for foils, even if they’re snow-lands, and buying them in separate sets of five instead of, say, getting to buy each in sets of five on their own, just means if I do want enough for a deck, it’s a pain in the butt. I award this product no points. Restless in Peace:

Value: Non-foil versions of these cards are at about the $20 range combined, and these ones are alt-art but... not foil. So the value here isn’t great.

Style: The art here is good, and I certainly think it’s better than the previous arts for Golgari Thug and Bloodghast. The style isn’t TOO far out there for modern magic, but it’s still abnormal, especially with Bloodghast.  Once again, the panorama has a non-permanent in the middle, which means it can’t be assembled on the battlefield.

Usability: It’s Modern Dredge. Do you play Modern Dredge? Are you interested in Modern Dredge? Consider buying four of these. Otherwise, you might want a suite for a commander deck, but they’re pretty narrow cards. That’s good, though: they all have a shared home. This is a niche product with a clear, obvious usability that basically guarantees that if you want any of them, you want all of them. Overall: ...Why aren’t these foil? Okay, I get it, not everybody wants foil, especially for a tournament deck because foils can bend, but they’re asking premium prices for printings with new art that’s... good, but not really out there. Feels like a waste of time. At the very least they could’ve been foil. That Bloodghast would look great in foil. Seeing Visions:

Value: Serum Visions is a $2.50 card and foil versions can be gotten for under $4 thanks to the admittedly-icky-looking FNM promo.  The value in Seeing Visions is godawful.

Style: I love these cards. They’re so weird and cool and freaky and abstract and unique. Sure, the frame is normal, but the arts are all stuff we basically never get on Magic cards anymore. Usability: It’s a playset of Serum Visions. You can find a use for it easily. Some people don’t like to have different arts of their cards in their deck because it gives the opponent ‘information’ but screw that. This is perfect. Just put them into a blue deck and you’re good to go. Overall: This is cool and beautiful and really neat and interesting and $30 just seems so high for them, but if you’re already running a playset of Serum Visions in Modern, they’re just soooo cooool that maybe they’re worth it as a pure pimp factor. Unlike with Bitterblossom Dreams and Restless in Peace, this wouldn’t be your way to get the cards to begin with. It’s not a ‘hey, if you want Serum Visions maybe get this version.’ It’s pure pimping. ...And I like that.

<EXPLOSION SOUNDS>: 

Value: These cards in normal printing total about $20. I’m not impressed. If these were foil, well, Sharpshooter’s only foil printing is over $40, but no, they’re not. So there’s no real value in here. Style: This is a nice, unique, cartoony style the likes of which we haven’t seen outside of Un-sets since Phil Foglio in the earlier days of Magic. I’m not positive that I LIKE this art, but I do like that it’s unique and I appreciate that a lot. I also love the flavor text setting them up as a team. Usability: I’m not actually sure what I’m supposed to do with these goblins. At $30 for the five they’re clearly for the more engaged player, but two of them aren’t modern legal, and the ones that are don’t really see play in Legacy goblins. I want to put all five of these in a deck, but the only deck I can think to do so is in a Commander deck using either Krenko at the helm. This set would be a lot better if, like Restless in Peace, they had made sure all the cards were part of a single deck that was decent in at least one format.  Hell, if a Krenko had been printed in this set, at least it would’ve been clear what to do with them. Overall: I want to like this set, but I have no idea who it’s for and what should be done with it. It’s a panorama that clearly all wants to be used together, but only in a goblin tribal commander deck or a kitchen table deck, the art is interesting but I’m not sure it’s actually GOOD (it makes me think of cheap mobile games), Goblin Lackey’s the only card that really needed a reprint, and they’re not even foil. I’m disappointed. 

Kaleidoscope Killers: 

Value: Non-Foil Sliver Overlord is currently $33. This set costs $40. This has value. The other two aren’t slouches.

Style: I really, really like the style on these, but style is subjective so what really matters is that the art is very non-standard and the sort of thing you don’t see much on regular magic cards these days. And all three of them are there to be Commanders, so if you use them they’ll be front and center the whole time. Usability: Let’s face it, you only want one of the three. Look, they’re all great, but five color decks are expensive mana bases so unless you’re rich or one of those weirdos who reassembles their decks on the fly, you’re only building one, and they’re all tribal lords so they don’t go into the same deck at all. This is the sort of thing where you buy it for the one you want and then try to trade the other two... And they’re all really cool and worthwhile cards so you’ll probably have an easier time with this than with Eldraine Dreams, but it’s still inconvenient that you have to buy them as a unit. If the value weren’t so good here, I’d be complaining more, but I’m seriously tempted to buy this just for the Reaper King (normally a $70 foil) and trading the other two. Because seriously. SO GOOD value. And I don’t even have a Reaper King deck... yet. Overall: So tempted. They look really cool (especially the Ur-Dragon), it’s a great value, and of all the cards to have in alt-art foil, Commanders are the coolest because of how they’re front and center of your deck. Very niche- the purpose of these is to have one of these specific cards as your commander- but very good.

OMG KITTIES!

Value: Even in foil, most of these cards aren’t worth much. The value in this as far as actual cards go is less than the $40. If you’re talking about raw financial incentive to get these cards, this set is not worth your time. That said...

Style: OMG KITTIES! They’re so cute and fluffy and snuggable and like nothing that normally gets printed on Magic cards. They’re unique art, with unique tokens, and cute flavor text, and they’re just so cuuuuute! This style is really something SPECIAL on a Magic card.

Usability: This... is for an Arahbo deck. Hell, Arahbo’s even here. But there’s nothing else to be done with these cards. At all.  Here’s the thing, though, Feline Ferocity is currently bouncing around $90. If you don’t have that deck, you’re probably going to have a hard time using these cards... but if you DO have that deck, you’re only getting two new cards that are pretty cheap to get in the normal version.. Also, there’s two cats that each make two cat tokens, and each has a matching cat token, but only one matching cat token. This set should have two of each of the cat tokens. Overall: This is a supplemental product to a supplemental product. Yes, you can buy it without owning Feline Ferocity, and two of the cards will be new to it, but you know what’d be totally awesome? If instead of selling this OMG Kitties as a set of five cards and two tokens, they sold it alongside a reprint of the Arahbo deck so that people who hadn’t gotten it the first time could get it now with this upgrade? Maybe even offer it in both “Upgrade pack” version of just the new cards AND a version where you got the whole deck, plus these cards as a bundle.  And another of each token.

I really like OMG Kitties overall as an option to upgrade an Arahbo deck, but I don’t have an Arahbo deck and literally the only thing to do with any of the cards in this set is to make one.

Final Thoughts: 

If the foils curl too easily, most of these are a waste of money. Assuming they don’t, Bitterblossom Dreams and Kaleidoscope Killers are great purchases, OMG Kitties!, Restless in peace, and Seeing Visions are very much niche products that are pretty cool if you’re that particular niche, and  Eldraine Wonderland and <explosion sounds> are both outright failures as unified products.

[unibrowzz]

My 2020 reviews

All the cool kids were doing these so now I finally dragged my ass into doing them too lmao. 

Albania- Fall from the Sky

A song I swear cursed this whole contest from the moment it won Festivali i Këngës. Like with the shitshow this song caused I just knew the whole year was fucked. With half the fandom whining they didn’t get their first club song of the year to the other half smugly shoving it as their winner despite no other songs being around to compare it to, the whole fiasco just left me knowing that 2020 would end in tears, just hopefully not my own. As for the song, it’s lame. It’s a standard ballad with OBSCENE amounts of autotune, which is weird because the girl can actually sing pretty decently without it, so why they decided to make her sound like a damn computer is beyond me. And WHY did they translate it, haven't the past few years proven that Albania's better off leaving their songs in Albanian? 

Armenia- Chains on You

A bootleg Ariana Grande song, and a really shit one at that. The kind of song only people who think being young, gay and mean counts as having a personality would say is good.

Australia- Don’t Break Me

One of the few decent Australian entries (but that REALLY isn’t saying much coming from me, I barely care they’re in the contest by this point) but marred by a horribly untidy performance and lacklustre lyrics. At least it’s not fucking pop-opera, that’s all I can say. I’d rather listen to the sound of my face being dragged down the runway at Heathrow airport than be subjected to another Zero Gravity.

Austria- Alive

One of those pseudo-jazz dance songs, á la Olly Murs or Bruno Mars (I swear there’s a song like this in every recent contest). I mean, it’s good, but it’s just kinda meh since I’m kinda getting tired of this genre rearing its fedora-wearing head every time a new lineup rolls in.

Azerbaijan- Cleopatra

One of the “better” trashy entries this year, comprised of about five different musical genres, six ancient cultures being appropriated and absolutely zero class. Probably sounds at least 50% better when you’re absolutely steaming drunk and face down on the floor in the middle of a gay bar.

Belarus- Da Vidna

Somehow, this song sounds both very unique and original yet trite and average at the same time. I couldn’t decide whether listening to it was a new experience or if I’d heard it a million times before.

Belgium- Release Me

A song which just drones on till it ends. I would say it’s ripping off the song that won last year, but it forgot that having a chorus stops your song from being three minutes of snooze.

Bulgaria- Tears Getting Sober

A typical breathy mumble-girl song, AKA a genre I can’t fucking stand. Really don’t see the hype with this one, the melody is pretty but the vocals are out for lunch and it’s otherwise completely and utterly boring.

Croatia- Divlji Vjetre

One of the token big dramatic ballads you listen to once, enjoy, then forget about until Darius in the Discord server plays it one night whilst you’re hitting up the radio bot with requests. You’ll find that “nice, but forgettable” is a common theme for this year.

Cyprus- Running

Ironically Cyprus didn’t send a crappy Fuego knockoff for 2020, and I say ironically because a crappy Fuego knockoff would’ve actually stood out this year, and I say crappy because honestly Fuego wasn’t even all that great to begin with. "Running” itself is just one of those edgy tortured soul pop songs which, let’s be honest, would have been paired with an impressive performance which would’ve overshadowed how bland it is. Kind of like “You’re the Only One”. Or even Fuego for that matter.

Czech Republic- Kemama

Standard Afro-pop, a genre we don't often see at the contest so I'll let it pass. I feel like this is the kind of song that’s infinitely better live, and that it would’ve been one of those songs that suddenly became a frontrunner after the semi finals, but I guess we’ll never know eh?

Denmark- Yes 

The quintessential mid-10s Eurovision song. It's got guitars, happy people, Scandinavian origins… it’s just a typical radio guitar song, nothing special.

Estonia- What Love Is

I mean it's better than La Forza. Granted, the sound of someone pissing directly onto a microphone installed in the bowl of a toilet would sound better than La Forza but still. Going back to this song, it’s just... a standard Eastern-ballad with some very desperate lyrics. It feels kind of outdated, if I’m honest. Like something about this just reeks of 2011.

Finland- Looking Back

Yet another dreary, forgettable ballad. It comes to something when the best song they COULD have sent was a party song which sounded like it was from the mid 90s. At least that song was memorable. That said, this one at least has some decent lyrics. Bravo for that I guess.

France- Mon Alliée

France decides to say “fuck it” to being an underground fan-favourite and takes a leaf out of the UKs book by sending the same rent-a-Swede schlock they’ve been sending since 2015. I’m just confused as to why anyone in their right mind would choose to follow the UKs example but you do you France.

Germany- Violent Thing

A rehash of Sweden's entry from two years ago, but this time sung by Justin Bieber circa 2008. Kind of alright if you can stomach the singer's whiny voice, but otherwise pretty dull and kinda forgettable.

Greece- Superg!rl

Hello fellow kidz, we are hearing you like the girl power? The super heroes? The t3xt $p3ech? We made you song, please give us the votes *dabs*

Georgia- Take me as I Am

I mean… this sure is a choice. This feels like one of those songs that everyone memes on because the lyrics are kinda janky and the singer’s voice (and accent) take a bit of getting used to, but other than that it’s just one of those NQ songs for hipster fans to declare as their unironic winner at a later date. All in all this just feels like the male equivalent of one of those mid-10s fat acceptance women’s songs, only a lot shoutier and this time he has more flaws than not being skinny.

Iceland- Think About Things 

A bootleg George Ezra song, performed by a load of disinterested tumblr users in their pyjamas. Because if there’s one thing that sells me on a song, it’s being given the evils by a bunch of nerds who look like they’ll send me death threats for not agreeing with their Pokémon headcanons. To be fair, the song is kind of groovy since it sounds so 70s, but the performance is very off-putting to people who aren’t in the Eurovision loop. And also people who are, because I sure as Hell don’t see the appeal in this myself and this whole performance just feels like Save Your Kisses for Me without the charm. I feel like this would’ve come second or third, definitely with a lot of televotes but either the jury would’ve dragged it down or it wouldn’t have scored enough televotes to win.

Ireland- Story of my Life

A song that’s at LEAST ten years out of date by this point, think like an early Katy Perry, Jessie J or Avril Lavigne song. I’ll forgive it because even though it sounds like it should’ve been entered in 2013 (at the latest), it at least evokes some nostalgic memories of shitty school discos and holiday parks.

Israel- Feker Libi

The female equivalent of the Czech song. Unsurprisingly, people went wild for it when it was released. I guess only women are allowed to sing Afro-pop at this contest. Like with the Czech song, I’ll forgive it since Afro-pop is a cool genre anyway, and even though this is just another club song I can at least see myself dancing to it.

Italy- Fai Rumore

Well, at least my wish of “Italy sends a typical power ballad devoid of anything the mainstream fandom likes” finally came true. It was pretty refreshing to have a year where people weren’t shoving Italy’s entry up my nose left right and centre. In terms of my actual thoughts I can’t deny that the guy has a tremendous voice, but for some reason the song just doesn’t… click with me. I guess I like my male Italian singers a little more gruff and raspy, if you know what I mean. They gotta sound like they smoke at LEAST five packets of cigarettes a day for me to take notice.

Malta- All of my Love

Listen I am 100% rooting for Destiny Chukunyere to win this contest some day but man was this song a disappointment. It feels so… un-special and generic, like it gets the job done and that’s it. It’s not the stand-up-and-belt-it-out soul anthem I’d hoped for, it’s just… there.

Moldova- Prison

All I remember about this song is that it vaguely reminds me of that one Meccano song about the gypsy who makes a deal with the moon or something. And I’ve TRIED to remember more about what it sounds like, trust me.

Latvia- Still Breathing

The one horrible weird song you get every year which overuses strobe effects to the point it comes with an epilepsy warning. Would be bearable if it wasn't for the singer’s insistence that this is actually some feminist masterpiece when it's really just a self-empowerment club song about the singer fingerbanging herself over the fact she writes music.

Lithuania- On Fire

One of the songs everyone thought was going to win at one point, even though it seems like a surefire non-qualifier to me. It’s one of those weird entries, but not the kind of over the top, batshit insane, you’d-have-to-be-drunk-to-enjoy-it weird, the kind of subdued surreal weird. Like this is weed instead of LSD or cocaine weird. Granted my mom, who I consider to be a "typical" Eurofan, actually really liked this song when she saw it in the recaps, so who knows maybe this would have done well with televoters after all.

Netherlands- Grow

I appreciate this song for how artsy and clever it is with its structure, since it starts off acapella and the instrumental builds up with the song until it stops suddenly, symbolising a person’s growth from a child into an adult, and ending suddenly with their death (Geddit? The song’s called “Grow”). But it feels like the kind of song that would be lost on a Eurovision audience. The juries would have taken note, for sure, but the televote… let’s be honest, they’d have been too busy drunk voting for Russia to care about anything else.

North Macedonia- You

Well, it's better than the miserable dirge they sent last year, but given how I'd rather pleasure myself with a steak knife than listen to that song, that really isn't saying much. Going back to “You”, it really just feels like a diet version of Switzerland’s entry from last year, combined with Sweden’s song from 2018. What I’m saying is it’s your average “I’m a man in a club and I want to dance with and probably fuck this hot girl I just met” song, which I a new genre I just made up. You’re welcome.

Norway- Attention 

One of those songs you appreciate because it sounds nice and the singer has a good voice, but instantly forget because it’s really not all that interesting. If I sound like I'm repeating myself, welcome to Eurovision 2020.

Poland- Empires

“Rise Like a Phoenix” but sung by a wannabe Adele and not a mascara-wearing Jesus in a dress. Like a lot of other songs on this list, it’s just average across the board, likeable when it’s on, but instantly forgettable as soon as the next song comes on.

Portugal: Medo de Sentir

Pretty, but also similar to their ill-fated 2018 entry, only with a bit more energy and less pink hair. What I’m saying is this would have been another NQ unless the crowd who enjoy subtle ambience music come in to save it like they did with Slovenia's entry last year.

Romania- Alcohol You

See Bulgaria, because this is practically the same song. It’s just as dreary, just as badly sung (if not worse because holy shit this girl sounds like she’s being suffocated), and I suppose you COULD excuse that by saying she’s drunk or hungover… but I don’t want to listen to someone ungracefully mumble into a microphone for three minutes.

Russia- Uno

A classic big camp party song, the kind of song people who haven’t watched Eurovision since 2003 think wins on the regular. I can see why people would like it (especially in this boring year lmao, I applaud Russia for taking the opportunity to loosen their corset and just send a complete mess instead of their usual clinical vote grabs), but it’s just not something I enjoy. It's the song that plays into the misconception that Eurovision is just a clown show for drunk people, like this is just here to be that one flash-in-the-pan meme song that only entertains people who don’t really care about Eurovision until the day before it airs. Kind of like the old ladies they sent in 2012 (remember them?).

San Marino- Freaky!

San Marino, in true Sammarinese fashion, have yet again sent a decade-ambiguous song which sounds like it was either released in 1978 or 2003. I feel like this would have been one of those songs which could have surprised us if it had a really wacky, creative performance (think like Moldova in 2018), but this is San Marino so you know that would never happen.

Serbia- Hasta la Vista

Insert unoriginal joke about a decade wanting their shitty trend back right here. Okay maybe that’s a bit harsh, especially considering how this song is actually, yanno, unique in comparison to the rest of this year. But it still feels weirdly dated, in a way where I can’t decide whether it sounds like it belongs in 1998 or 2018. I suppose girl power ages a song regardless of when it was released.

Slovenia- Voda

Yet another standard Balkan-European power ballad which you appreciate because it’s well sung, but forget the moment it ends because it’s kinda boring. … Does anyone else have a bit of deja vu?

Spain- Universo

For some reason I feel like this song is shilling itself out to someone but I have no idea who. Aside from the horny people voting solely because the singer is moderately attractive even with that wretched Jedward haircut.

Sweden- Move

Imagine soul but… boring.

Switzerland- Répondez Moi

Imagine Arcade but… in French.

United Kingdom- My last Breath

Not the best the UK could have done, but it’s at least a modern offering unlike the residual dregs of the mid-90s that we sent throughout the 2010s. It’s definitely a bit too generic to have done any better than maybe 15th, but hey at least the cancellation means we won’t have to see it not do as well as the BBC thinks it’s entitled to do, prompting a billion clickbait articles about how Brexit somehow affected our performance.

Ukraine- Solovey

At long last we come to something you probably weren't expecting: a song I actually really like. Which is weird because I usually don't care for or don't like whatever Ukraine vomits into the contest, so I was pleasantly surprised to find a song I liked from them in such a weak year. This song isn’t for everyone, it’s white noise singing which is a very acquired taste, but this is honestly the only 2020 song I find myself coming back to over and over. And it’s in Ukrainian too, so you don’t have to put up with their usual mangled English offerings.

[anuknowha]

Things You Probably Didn’t notice in Endgame.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!

​​1. Loki is alive. As my favorite villain, I was upset that he died, but hear me out. In the movie, he manages to steal the tess​era​ct which transports him somewhere else. In a different universe. Where he lives through the Thanos snap and doesn't have to worry about being killed. Loki has survived many times before so its not much of a surprise. Plus his new show just around the corner. It may not make sense now because the rules of the movie, but I'll get to that later. 2. Nebula's split mind. When they go back in time, they don't think about the outcomes of having a shared brain with another version of themselves. Now, in the movie that makes some sense due to the rules that they created, but, causes more trouble, which enhances the story. Out of the 10 people who went back in time, only two of them had to deal with some part of their past becoming an interaction. Tony Stark manages to run into his father, and they have a sweet talk. That shouldn't affect the future much because Howard isn't aware that that is his son, and therefore he doesn't have to worry about time becoming a mess. But Nebula faces herself directly, and is the only one faced with a mind splitting between "two people." Every Avenger, who went to the past, had a past version of themselves but didn't face the problem of having a "shared" memory. The argument for Nebula might be because she's a robot, even so she shouldn't be the only one with shared memories. If going to the past, doesn't affect it, than how are the two Nebula's able to connect? The old one shouldn't be able to gain memories of the new one if changing the past does not change the future. There should be no connection between old Nebula and new one because no one else faces this problem. It's as if the rules that the movie made are conflicting rules from other movies even if they said were not "true." 3. If they took all the stones in the past than how come Dr. Strange still exists? I assume he could exist outside that, but than his purpose wouldn't be as much. He wouldn't have to protect the stone in the current universe unless... 4. If Captain America went back in time and grew old, than what happened to the version of him from the past? When Steve is sent into the past one last time for the movie, he returns much older because he finally decided to live his life. With that being said, what happened to the younger version of him? Steve went back in time with his current body, the one after the experiment, and lived out the next 70 years of his life. Which is sweet until you remember there's still a Steve there that's walking around​.​. ​​But the question is where is he and what does he decide to do with that power? ​Outside of that, you gotta remember than that Bucky is no longer friends with him more than likely. And also, how did he manage to age like that? He shouldn't have been able to completely alter the future without this making a giant mess to the whole fact that he was Captain America. This openly affects the Avengers as a whole. 5. Endgame's time travel rules make no sense. In the movie, they mention a bunch of times, that if you change the past, it cannot alter the future. For years, because of other movies, books, and tv shows, there has always been a sense of relief believing that the past can be fixed. But, Endgame specifically names movies with travel and mentions that they are lies. Here's the thing, when they return to the future, currently, the one with this is old Nebula. This is the Nebula that is still loyal to Thanos. And knowing that, she shouldn't be able to exist in the current timeline without ruining the life of the future Nebula. Watching other movies mention two main things about the past; you should not meet your former self. It creates a ripple in time. And two, that if your past self dies in the future, you cease to exist. We see this rule being broken when future Nebula kills her past self which should have killed her present self on the spot, but it doesn't. Which makes this sound more confusing. But the major problem with this rule is that Thanos was brought to the future and killed off which doesn't change the future. But we all know it should've, it makes no sense that their world was still in "chaos". It shouldn't have been in ruins still unless the Thanos they killed was from an alternate universe in which they still lose. Because they had killed current Thanos, and beheaded him, after he destroyed the stones. Bringing him back from the past should've erased every single thing that was done between 6. No one in Infinity War died, they were transported to a different realm or a different place in which they were all able to live their lives. Thanos never intended to kill off the people of the world, he just wanted to let them live elsewhere in a place where they had enough resources to take care of themselves.

​7. When the stones were returned at the end of the movie, they were still crystals. How? When Captain America went back in time to return them, they had to be exactly how they found them, when they found them. That means, somehow, someway, he was able to turn them back into their original forms and give them back? I don't know how you would manage to turn a blue crystal into a blue cube? ​What magic did he manage to pull without telling anyone? 

If you have any more please let me know!

[daughterofluthien]

Fictober - Day 4

Fanfiction

Fandom: Spider-Man (MCU) and Captain America (MCU)

Relationships: Peter Parker & Steve Rogers

Rating: G

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.3K

Prompt 4 - “I know you didn’t ask for this.”

Captain America lived in Brooklyn.

It made sense, really; Peter knew that. After all, Steve Rogers had grown up in Brooklyn back in the ‘20s, it only made sense that now that it was the 2020s and no longer in the superhero business, he’d want to move back somewhere familiar. Peter knew that he would, at any rate. If he ever woke up 70 years in the future, time travelled back to the past, then lived all the way to the future again, he would definitely move back to Queens. It only made sense.

But still. Captain America lived in an apartment in Brooklyn. 

Yeah, no, saying it multiple times didn’t make it sound any less crazy.

So that was why -- a couple days later after Peter tried really hard not to care that Captain freaking America was living in his city and was categorically unsuccessful -- Spider-Man left his standard Manhattan stomping grounds and made his way up to Brooklyn.

It wasn’t hard to figure out which building Captain Rogers lived in, but that was mainly because the tabloids had figured it out  practically as soon as he moved back. What surprised Peter was just how plain the building looked. Red brick, five stories. Normal.

He wasn’t sure what he expected, honestly. Red, white, and blue with flashing stars announcing ‘Captain America lives here’? Maybe a giant shield over the door? Of course the building was just a building -- Captain America was just Steve Rogers who was just a guy.

It still felt insane that someone could just walk by this building and never know that an actual legend lived there. Though, that was probably what he wanted, to be fair. Captain Rogers was probably tired of being recognized all the time and just wanted to be left alone.

Peter could relate. 

Ever since Mysterio doxxed him in the middle of Times Square, Peter found that he had started to spend as much time in costume as possible. Because yes, everyone and their cousin knew that Peter Parker was Spider-Man, but when he was Spider-Man, nobody really cared about Peter Parker. All they saw was Spider-Man.

It was Peter Parker that they never left alone.

Suddenly, Peter regretted coming out here in the first place. He was just another nosy fanboy busybody bothering a guy who just wanted to live his life, and what right did he have to do that? He was literally perched on his fire escape like a stalker. A super-stalker.

Yeah, there was a perfect headline for Jameson to run tomorrow. ‘Superhero or super stalker? Spider-Man harasses national hero.’

He should probably leave before he gave the ‘news’ sites any more ideas.

He was just about to jump off the fire escape and swing to the building across the street when he heard someone calling from a couple windows over.

“Hey, Queens! You planning on sitting out there all day, or are you gonna come inside?”

Crap. He’d been spotted. 

Of course he had been, he reminded himself, this was Captain America, not some garden variety thug he was staking out.  For one wild moment Peter considered just booking it, but accepting the invitation was probably more polite at this point. So he made his way over and climbed in the window. 

Peter started talking before his feet even hit the ground. “Look I’m really sorry, I know I shouldn’t be snooping around, it’s super rude, and I’ll just be going now, okay? Really sorry to bother you, Captain Rogers. Sir.”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down there,” Captain Rogers chuckled “Sit down, make yourself comfortable. And you’re an Avenger, kid. You can call me Steve.”

“Right.” Peter pulled his mask off. “Sorry.” He didn’t move to follow Capt-- Steve as the older man made his way to the sitting room.

Steve had already lowered himself into an armchair, when he turned to see Peter still standing at the window. “Well, come on.”

“Oh, right.” Peter hurried to join him, and sat down on a couch across from the older Avenger. He then immediately proceeded to panic, as he had no idea what was supposed to happen next.

Figured, really. He was sitting in the living room of one of his childhood heroes, and he had no idea what to say.

When he finally settled on something, it came out a lot faster and more abruptly than it had been in his head. “I’m sorry I stole your shield that one time.”.

Steve actually laughed. “Ah, don’t worry about it, that’s ancient history. Literally. Besides, you were only doing your job. I was impressed, you know?”

Peter blinked. “Really? You were?”

“Like I said then, you had heart. And you obviously had the skills. Still do, from what I hear.”

Peter grinned. “Thanks!” The news might like to print more rumors than fact where he was concerned, but they did still do some actual reporting, and over the past couple of weeks Peter had managed to make the headlines in a less negative way as well. And Captain America was keeping tabs on him. “I just wish the news would focus more on what I’m actually doing than on all these rumors and conspiracy theories.”

Steve sighed. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I know you didn’t ask for this, Peter. Being in the spotlight.”

“How did you do it?” He hadn’t meant to ask that, but it was out there now, so Peter hurried on. “Like, I feel like I’m going crazy. These days I have put on the mask just to be myself, because everyone knows who Peter Parker is and they’re watching me, and I can’t be me, because anything I do, it’s not Peter Parker who did it. All they’ll ever see is Spider-Man.”

“Like you’re a symbol instead of a person.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I know how that feels. And like I said, it was different for me because I knew what I was getting into. Well, to some extent, at least. I knew if the serum worked I’d be the poster boy of the program, at the very least.”

“You knew you’d be the guy punching Hitler in all the news reels?”

Steve chuckled. “No, that part came as a surprise to me as well.” He sobered. “I really am sorry it all got dragged out into the open like this. It should’ve been your choice.”

Peter shrugged. “It sucks, but it’s just something else I have to deal with, you know? What I worry most about is Aunt May. Practically the day after my name got out there, someone hacked into my school’s system and found out where we live. Me? I can take care of myself. But May?” He trailed off and his voice dropped lower. “I’m scared I won’t be able to protect her.”

“I’m sorry.”

Peter rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes, because he wasn’t going to cry in front of Captain America, and nodded. He was glad that the older Avenger didn’t offer any advice or try to make him feel better, because there wasn’t a solution, and he knew it. That genie could never be stuffed back in its bottle, so it was just something that he had to learn to live with. That included all of its ramifications.

“How did you do it?” Peter asked again, instead. “Not getting to ever be just Steve Rogers. How did you handle it?”

“I found people who knew me well enough that I was just Steve to them. You have to make sure you have friends, Peter.”

Peter did his best not to roll his eyes, he really did. “I do have friends, promise. Really good ones, even.”

The older man grinned wryly. “I know it sounds corny. But all of this, the spotlight? Trust me, it’s too much for any one one person to handle by themselves. Friends help.”

Right, he knows what he’s talking about. Obviously. “Okay, I’ll remember.”

“Good.” Steve looked satisfied. “And my door and/or window is always open, Peter. If you want to talk, or if you just want to get out of the spotlight, I’ll be here.”

Peter nodded. “Okay. Thanks, Steve.”

He planned to take the older Avenger up on that offer as often he could.

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #130

Fri Jul 26 2019

[07:17 PM] Bocaj: I wish that the frightful Four kept losing their female members so the writers would have to keep introducing more female villains [07:18 PM] Wack'd: Ehhh it would inevitably be because they turn face though [07:18 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, I think Thundra's more of a wild card, but [07:18 PM] Bocaj: Maybe they go independent because they realize the others are dinks? [07:18 PM] maxwellelvis: fair enough [07:18 PM] Wack'd: It'd be nice! [07:18 PM] Wack'd: But we've only just now hit the point where folks are thinking "hey, maybe female honorific shouldn't be defined entirely by marital status", so

[07:20 PM] Wack'd: So it turns out Thundra's fascination with Ben wasn't some weird sex thing after all--but it is now!

[07:20 PM] Bocaj: Dammit [07:20 PM] maxwellelvis: He's got kavorka, that rockmonsterman [07:21 PM] Wack'd: Flint tries to murder Ben to keep Thundra from turning face and Thundra stops him, claiming that her sole mission here was to humble and humiliate Ben [07:21 PM] Wack'd: So maybe it was a little bit a weird sex thing [07:22 PM] Bocaj: Thundra tops [07:25 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Wizard decides that with Johnny and Ben down their next task is to destroy the Baxter Building [07:25 PM] Wack'd: I'm sure Collins is gonna be thrilled [07:26 PM] Wack'd: Meanwhile--Johnny! [07:27 PM] Wack'd: Turns out Black Bolt hasn't turned evil, he just wanted to get a word in with Johnny before he saw Crystal, and thought this was the only way to do it [07:27 PM] Wack'd: Johnny...reacts about as well as you'd expect [07:28 PM] Wack'd: Well okay he reacts better than you'd expect. He doesn't threaten genocide this time. [07:28 PM] Wack'd: He just leads the guards on a goose chase [07:29 PM] Wack'd: Intra-issue cliffhanger! Whatever is going on here we're not gonna find out until next issue. Which is lovely because I was planning on taking a break after this. Ah well.

[07:30 PM] Bocaj: Why is crystal still wearing her ff duds? [07:30 PM] Wack'd: Nostalgia? [07:31 PM] Wack'd: Inhuman cosplay contest? [07:31 PM] Wack'd: Budget cuts? [07:31 PM] maxwellelvis: Lost her old costume two Inhuman home bases ago? [07:31 PM] Wack'd: Back to Reed! Who can't focus on his work with all of the drama going on. He hears someone at the door and rushes to get it, hoping Sue or Johnny has returned so he can make amends. [07:32 PM] Wack'd: Reed: Sandman! I should've known! [07:32 PM] Wack'd: Flint: You should've known? That's what you always say--after I catch you flat-footed! [07:33 PM] Wack'd: Reed is incapacitated. Flint wants to know why they don't just murder 'em--turns out Thundra "holds no truck with ungallantry towards the weaker sex." [07:35 PM] Wack'd: So the Frightful Four make their way into Reed's lab to loot it

[07:36 PM] Wack'd: One of Reed's laser cannons goes off on its own, causing the team to presume betrayal--but nope! [07:36 PM] Wack'd: Sue gets some footprints in Pete's paste and is forced to reveal herself. [07:37 PM] Wack'd:

[07:38 PM] Wack'd: Unfortunately, Sue proves to be too much for them, so Wizard takes the low road and threatens Franklin to force a surrender [07:39 PM] Wack'd: OH SHIT HERE WE GO

[07:39 PM] Wack'd: MIRACLE BABY [07:39 PM] Wack'd: (Why didn't you free your mom, kid?) [07:41 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Wizard panics and forgets the Thundra-inflicted "no killing men" rule [07:42 PM] Wack'd: And gets his ass handed to him by Thundra [07:42 PM] Wack'd: Before he can kill Ben [07:42 PM] Bocaj: Good [07:43 PM] Wack'd: Ben frees Reed, Reed frees Sue, Sue frees Medusa. Four on four. Let's do this.

[07:44 PM] Bocaj: The Fantastic Four minus one of the jerks in it plus a Queen [07:45 PM] maxwellelvis: !!!!!!!!!!11 [07:45 PM] maxwellelvis: I think I know what the "End of the Four" they're talking about is. [07:45 PM] Wack'd: I fucking love that Sue's main strategy at this point is inflicting body horror on people

[07:46 PM] maxwellelvis: Sure is lucky Sandman is intensely stupid. [07:47 PM] Wack'd: This has fairly reliably worked on the other villains and even her own family members! [07:47 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, but I'm pretty sure they're just weirded out and don't think she's actually disintegrating them like Sandman is. [07:47 PM] Wack'd: Fair [07:47 PM] Wack'd: Reed and Sue get into an argument about whether Sue should be fighting or getting Franklin out of here [07:48 PM] Wack'd: Sue's like "I can do both, Franklin's in a force field" and Reed is like *doesn't say anything because the Wizard ambushes him* [07:49 PM] Wack'd: I'm not sure if Thundra's "applying female stereotypes to men" shtick is good praxis but I'm finding it very amusing

[07:51 PM] Wack'd: Thundra decides to cut it short, fells Ben with a knee to the solar plexus, and engineers an escape for the rest of the Frightfuls in case she needs them later [07:51 PM] Bocaj: Hah [07:52 PM] Wack'd: Medusa's like "hey we kicked some real ass" and Reed's like "maybe we would've done better if Sue had listened to me" [07:52 PM] Wack'd: And then-- [07:53 PM] Wack'd: I'm assuming max guessed right

[07:54 PM] maxwellelvis: Yup [07:54 PM] Wack'd: Well dammit, now I have to keep reading, because I'm intrigued! [07:54 PM] maxwellelvis: I think this is like, the first time Reed and Sue are separated like this. [07:55 PM] Wack'd: I'm really hoping this sparks some real development from Reed, at least short-term [07:55 PM] maxwellelvis: Granted I think your thing was going to happen after Valeria was born, but still... [07:55 PM] Wack'd: Because he's being a massive dick here [07:56 PM] Wack'd: And, like, it's interesting because. I honestly think that if Thomas had just softened this behavior--written off the sexism as a relic of the 60s, simply moved forward as though Reed weren't a dink--I'd be a lot more generous to him now [07:56 PM] Wack'd: Doubling down is by far the more interesting choice--not as interesting as putting Reed in exile instead of Sue. [07:56 PM] Wack'd: But interesting. [07:57 PM] Wack'd: But what happens next will irrevocably color Reed as a character going forward. And I doubt it will be pretty. [07:57 PM] Wack'd: Yeah [07:58 PM] maxwellelvis: Reed being the one leaving the Baxter Building/4 Freedoms Plaza does have interesting implications of its own. [07:58 PM] Wack'd: There's definitely something to be said about the fact that Sue is like "you didn't think of me as a member of the team or as your wife, only as the mother of your child, so I'm going to stop being a member of the team and your wife and just be the mother of your child." That's incredibly clumsy. [07:59 PM] Wack'd: And makes this feel more like a spite move than a principled stand--which is definitely unintentional. [08:00 PM] maxwellelvis: Suddenly I'm picturing Reed being hounded by paparazzi whenever the news of a separation breaks in your thing. [08:01 PM] maxwellelvis: And then the thought just popped into my head, "Would the Daily Bugle be one of the news outlets trying to get in on that?" [08:01 PM] Wack'd: Depends on the writer [08:02 PM] maxwellelvis: I mean, would you see Jonah doing that? [08:03 PM] Wack'd: So let's go into how Reed deals with this. Firstly he projects--Sue *certainly* isn't the one neglecting Franklin. Just a few issues ago Reed completely missed an appointment to go see him, then sent Sue to retrieve hi on her own when Agatha retired. [08:04 PM] Wack'd: He doubles down. He refuses to engage with her critique of his behavior, or say anything to make this more amicable. In fact, he even stops Sue from trying to soften the blow. [08:04 PM] Wack'd: He frames this entirely as her decision, which is nice on an female agency level but means he's refusing to take any for himself. This is his fault. He needs to admit that. [08:05 PM] Wack'd: And then he decides he's going to continue to power around with her little brother? [08:05 PM] Wack'd: Jeez. [08:06 PM] Wack'd: And in the context of the Thomas run as a whole--I gave him shit for his "greatest hits" routine earlier but I think we definitely needed a reminder of what normalcy looks like before he pulls a move like this. [08:06 PM] maxwellelvis: And this is just like a handful of issues into his run, too [08:07 PM] Wack'd: And even if his plot structure is fairly rote, I have to credit him for pulling in Thundra and Kala--the fact that this is kind of a boy's club is clearly on his mind. [08:08 PM] Wack'd: This is actually closer to the end of his first (short, as all 70s *Four* runs are) run than the beginning [08:08 PM] maxwellelvis: Ahh [08:08 PM] Wack'd: Gerry Conway will be in shortly [08:09 PM] Wack'd: Thomas does come back a few times though, for fairly significant spurts of time [08:09 PM] Wack'd: He'll be in and out until 1977 [08:10 PM] Wack'd: So I guess this is kind of the beginning of an era for him? Just one with lots and lots of guest writers [08:10 PM] Wack'd: Which makes sense, he is also editor in chief. [08:10 PM] maxwellelvis: It's the beginning of an era for the Four, at least. [08:10 PM] Wack'd: I'm very curious to see how long this lasts.

[everlarkficexchange]

Battle Scars

Writen by: @jrheartbreaker

Prompt 36: Katniss and Peeta are friends on the verge of more. Katniss or Peeta is hesitant to take the next step until something tragic happens to the other (just not death) that pushes them to realize their feelings and commit. [submitted by @ra3lynn3]

TRIGGER WARNING!!

CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND RAPE.

Battle Scars

“Katniss! It’s the Prom. You’re telling me you really don’t want to go?” Prim asks me.

It’s hard to believe my little sister Primrose is in the 9th grade. It feels like only yesterday that she was in diapers. She’s quite popular at school. Practically everyone falls in love with her right away. Because of her naturally sweet disposition, her beautiful long, blonde hair, and her radiant, azure eyes. Not to mention her sense of humor. She is, by far, my best friend and my favorite person in the world. But we are opposite in so many ways.

“Prim, who would I go with? Gale has already graduated, and he’s going with Madge to Aspen this weekend.”

Gale is my other best friend. Most people think he’s my brother or cousin. He’s two years older than me. I’m a senior this year, which is why my kid sister, who would kill to go to any party, is trying to force into a Prom dress and heels.

I can’t wait to be out of school.

Gale’s olive complexion, brown hair and grey eyes that match my own, are the main reason everyone thinks we we’re related. Even more than that, we share the same temperament, love of outdoors, and being the oldest child in single parent families. I feel at one point, it was probably expected by our families, that we’d fall madly in love, but we could never be more than friends. He started dating Madge Undersee about 4 months ago and I’ve never seen him happier.

“Would you even have gone with Gale? Maybe he’ll put off Aspen-“

“No Prim. I don’t know why this is such a big deal to you.” I cut her off before she can suggest ruining his plans.

Madge’s great, considering her father is the Mayor and she comes from Oprah money. Gale’s mom, Hazelle Hawthorne, both of his younger brothers, Rory and Victor, Prim and I are so happy for Gale. He’s finally with someone who can put out some of his fire, when need be. Even his 7 year old, baby sister, Posy, likes Madge. Posy’s not easily won over, but a very good judge of character.

“Well, you should go… I may have even flirted with a teachers aid to procure a dress for you.” Prim states crossing her arms and sighing.

“Primrose Lilac Everdeen. What on God’s green earth are you talking about?” I question.

Where did she get a dress?

“I borrowed one from the drama’s costume department that’s just your size. Please don’t be mad… I think there’s a boy who wants to go with you, too. This guy, who I‘m pretty sure I’ve seen staring at you before, stopped Rory and I walking home the other day and asked us if I was your sister. Anyway, he was asking him to ask me. And… if you have a date to Prom! Maybe he’s gonna ask you today.” Prim squeals.

He’s probably a creeper.

She should’ve called the police.

Even if he’s not…

“I don’t want my baby sister setting me up on a date.”

“I’m technically not. But, Katniss, he’s gorgeous, blond and blue eyed, and he had on a letterman’s jacket. I don’t know him that well, but Rory does. He said he’s a really nice guy. You should give him a chance.” She says, her eyes pleading with me.

“Prim, seriously? The dance is tomorrow and I don’t have any shoes. My hair-”

“I got 20 bucks. From babysitting Posy for Hazelle last weekend… and I’ll do your hair. Come on Kat.” She whines.

Ugh, She’s giving me no outs.

“Prim you can’t use your money on me.”

“Sissy you deserve this. Mom works all the time; which leaves you here to help me with my homework, dinner every night, and you always have just enough money to get anything I need. Whether it’s supplies for projects, dance classes, or new cheerleading outfits. You’ve even magically provided me with lunch money we didn’t have, when I cried like a brat, because it wasn’t cool to have a boxed lunch anymore. You’ve given up every other school dance and so many extracurricular activity for me.”

Her voice starts quivering her eyes well up, but she pushes on. “ Please let me do this for you. Cause one day… after you move to L.A., becoming a famous singer/song writer, I won’t have many opportunities to make up for all you’ve done for me.”

Great now I’m gonna cry.

“Oh, Little Duck, you’re so sweet. I do all of those things for you because… I’m your big sister, and I love you. Thank you for believing in me, but I’m probably not going to be famous, Prim. Plus, who says I’m moving to L.A.?” I counter.

How could she know!?

“I saw the brochure and expectance letter under your bed for the Arts Academy in Hollywood. Aren’t you excited?” She asks sniffling and wiping her eyes.

“Prim, why were you? How… I’m not going there. I mean, I haven’t decided… it would be too far and it’s not even a full scholarship…”

“Katniss, you are mad talented, so stop. Stop doubting yourself. We could figure it out. Plus, your songs need to be heard. They make me feel like I could do, anything. Become anything or anyone I want. Not just some poor, fatherless girl, with a dead dad and a slightly distant mom, from Wildomar, California.”

“Okay, Sis, I’ll think about going to school The Arts Academy, but I don’t think I’m gonna go to Pro-”

“No buts… Don’t say it. You’re going to Prom, whether that guy asks you or not. That’s the end of it. I love you.” She insists, hugging me.

I drive us to school in my beat up 92’ F250 truck that barely runs. I got it from Gale. After he graduated, his mom got him a 70’ Chevelle off Craig’s List for $600.

It took him all of his summer job money, but he restored it. He painted it orange with black racing stripes. I told him he drives a Dukes of Hazzard car. Even though I later found out that car was called, The General Lee, and had a pretty inappropriate flag on the roof. He laughed at me for getting the car models confused. Either way I still call the Chevelle, Daisy, the character Jessica Simpson played in The Dukes of Hazzard movie. Gale says his car’s name is, Peaches McGee, which sounds like a country stripper’s name to me. Prim and I call the F250, Colby, since it’s a faded cobalt blue.

After dropping Prim in front of school, I park. I contemplate what I’ll make for dinner tonight since I know mom hasn’t gone grocery shopping, and we don’t get more food stamps till the first of the month. At least the rent money is in the bank. But that leaves me pretty cash poor. Grabbing my messenger bag out of the seat beside me, I head over to my friends. My main squad consists of friends I’ve mostly known since elementary school.

Annabelle Cresta and Finnick Odair are the it couple at school, probably in our district. Annie, as we call her, is as beautiful on the inside as she is out with green eyes and curly auburn hair. Finnick, who is both gorgeous and charming as hell, has green eyes, and seemingly always perfectly coifed, bronze hair. He’s like a tanner, funnier, Twilight vampire.

We have bets on if they will get married right out of high school or get pregnant before graduation because we all know they’ve been secretly in love with each other since 5th grade and they can’t keep their hands off each other. He finally got the nerve to ask her out in 9th grade. To his dismay, she said no like 80 times… even though I know for a fact; she used to doodle Mrs. Odair in all of her notebooks.

I think she said no just to make him sweat… and possibly to get back at him for flirting so shamelessly. Finnick used to tell us he would always be single, so he basically hit on anything moving, in a skirt and never actually exclusively dated a girl. But Annie told me once that he was over compensating. That it was all an act, because he thought he would get crap from other guys, for liking just one girl. When she finally said yes she would go out with him, she made him wait three more months before she let him kiss her. Serves him right. He’s been attached to her hip ever since.

Cordelia Cartwright and Thomas Mason Jr. is also a major cute couple. Delly, as she prefers to be called, is a sweetheart, but she doesn’t take crap from anybody. She used to be chubby in middle school… but one day, she showed up to school a total knock out, curves in all the right places. Her new body, blonde curls and crystal blue eyes must be Thom’s weaknesses, because he fell hard and fast for Dells.

Thom has light brown skin, hazel eyes and curly brown hair. He looks like his older sister Johanna Mason, who graduated with Gale but got pregnant and moved back home last year to have her baby boy. Thom and Delly are smitten with each other. They plan on trying the long distance thing while in college.

Bart Latier III and Wiress Hawkins… Hmm. They’re a couple. I think. They refer to each other as “lab partners” but… I know BeeTee likes Wiress, a lot. You can tell by the way he laughs at all her jokes, stares at her and walks her to all of her classes.

I even saw him once; while in conversation, in the middle of a sentence, take off her glasses, huff on them, wipe them on his shirt and put them back on her face. He didn’t even pause in his explanation of the Pythagorean theorem to Thom. She just looked at him and blinked a few times, and then went back to reading war and Peace.

Suffice it to say, both are brown eyed, brown haired, very smart, very cute, kinda nerdy, but very loyal friends.

I say what’s up to my crew when I reach them. We usually hang out in the parking lot until right before the bell rings.

Thresh Tillage, Blight Harris, and Marvel Gladstone, a few of the football hotties, is in the parking lot too. I consider them good guys and friends. But, Ugh, Glimmer and Clove, whom I don’t consider friends at all, are hanging all over those guys.

Glimmer Gladstone is Marvel’s little sister. She’s two grades below us and has always been a leggy, severely blessed on top, potential Pantene Pro-V hair commercial… bitch. Most guys fall all over themselves to talk to her, and she knows it. But she’s mean as an old, mangy cat. She doesn’t discriminate either. She’s mean to girls, to guys… to old people, little kids. Hell, she probably tortures, small animals… like a serial killer.

Her bestie “for like… ever”, Clove Fields, is just as evil but the exact opposite physically. Clove has darker features and she’s petite with no chest. Which probably fuels her perpetual bitterness. They wear skimpy clothes; too much makeup to be so young… and they think boys are meant to be their slaves.

“Hey uh… Katniss?” I hear from my right.

Huh?

Peeta Mellark pulls me out of my thoughts. He has to be the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. Always opening doors for people. Always smiling. He brings freshly baked muffins to his teachers. Not just to get good grades, either. I heard he volunteers to read books at a children’s hospital, in the cancer and burn units. Peeta’s good at art and wrestling and he’s also a football player. He’s pretty much the hottest guy I know, but doesn’t act like he knows it.

His dad owns the closest bakery (hence the bread name) and he has two older brothers who have already graduated. Peeta’s eyes, some of the prettiest blue eyes (only topped by Prim’s) that I’ve ever seen, frustratingly throw me off balance. I don’t usually get this affected by any boys. He doesn’t usually say all that much to me. So I can ignore any disturbance in the force, normally.

Even if I wish he would.

Stop just… staring at him, spaz.

Say something, duh.

“Hi Peeta, how are you?” I ask.

“Umm, good… Hi… I mean… I’m great how ‘bout you?”

Gosh, he’s cute when he’s nervous.

He runs a hand through his wavy blond locks. The other hand is pulling at his book bag strap. He looks and me at smiles.

“Hi Peeta!” Glimmer waves at him from behind us.

Skank, crack-whore.

Peeta waves at Glimmer, quickly. Then he turns back to me. I laugh because behind her, Finnick is making faces at me. Annie smacks his arm.

“I’m good too, but the bell is gonna ring soon. Let’s walk and talk okay?” I suggest and grab Peeta by the letterman jacket, pulling him towards our first period class.

Peeta and I have most of the same classes. He probably just needs my notes.

“Okay. I think you… uh… are really, NICE, Katniss. You… we have class together. And you’re really smart.” Peeta says.

We stop walking. I let go of his jacket. He glances down, possibly at my bag. So I guess this is about class notes. Then out of nowhere…

“Everdeen. Baby. You’re killing me. Why you look so sexy in those jeans? You should get locked up for looking so damn good in those jeans. You know that?” Cato Johnson says stepping in my path.

What?

Cato seems to be talking to me, and, well, hitting on me. I look at Peeta, who looks just as shocked as I am, but shrugs and looks down again. So I turn back to Cato.

Cato isn’t a friend or an enemy. He’s just a guy who most people would call popular and easy on the eyes. He’s so tall and buff for his age; he looks like an undercover narc. He also happens to be captain of the football team. Typical jock.

Never really talked to the guy. We have some classes together. I heard a rumor that a girl got caught hunching with him in the teachers lounge once in 10th grade. But there’s so much gossip at this school, you never know what’s real and not real. Cato would be attractive if it weren’t for his ego.

“What do you want? And why are you using those tired ass lines on me, Johnson?” I shoot at him.

I hear a couple of, ooohs and aw mans, in the background. Along with some chucking from my friends who just walked up. A little crowd is forming.

Crap, I don’t need an audience to egg whatever this is on.

“Kat? Why you gotta cut me down, in front of everyone? I think you are the bomb-dot-com.” He says all Rico Suave like.

Cue over exaggerated eye roll.

Cato grabs one of my hands and puts it on his chest feigning heartbreak. This kind of stuff happens all day. Just not usually to me.

"Okay. I’ll bite. What do you want?” I say squinting my eyes at him.

He must’ve lost a bet or something.

“Just what I said. I like you Everdeen. You’re cool and sexy. I want to take you out.” He sounds crazily sincere.

What the hell is going on here?

I feel like I’m being punk’d.

Where’s Ashton Kutcher?

“You wanna take… ME? Out? Where?” I ask stupefied.

“How, bout… to Prom?” Cato says, smiling from ear to ear.

Ho-ly Crap.

Is he the boy Prim was talking about?

She wasn’t making it up.

Holy Crap.

“Uh, uh… to prom? With you to…” I start.

“To-morrow night. Yeah. Come on. Say you’ll go with me. Please?” He practically begs, getting down on one knee.

He pulls out a single red rose from his letterman jacket. Swooning is heard from the girls standing around watching. My heart is beating in my ears. I don’t even know Cato that well. I mean, we know of each other. But…

Prim’s voice is in my head.

You’re going, and that’s the end of it!

I look around at my friends to see that Annie and Delly are stunned. Finnick looks nonchalant about the whole thing. Peeta looks like he’s going to be sick or something.

What do I do?

What should I do?

Drake says, “You only live once”, right?

“O-kay. Ok. Sure.” I say blushing and biting my bottom lip.

“Yeah?” He stands up and picks me up in a hug, swinging me around.

Clapping and woots are heard in the background. As he sets me down, my hands are around his neck and he kisses my cheek. Then pecks my lips. I don’t have time to respond.

“Class everyone!” The assistant principal yells and kids disperse.

“I better get to class.” I say softly.

“See you later, sweet cheeks.” Cato says.

Embarrassed, I let my arms fall to my bag. He walks away from me backwards, with a huge smile on his face. Then he turns and high fives two of his teammates.

Did that just happen?

I hurry to class and sit down. I’m still not sure if I made the right decision. But also, I’m sort of floating.

He asked me to Prom.

In front of a bunch of people.

“So? You and Cato, huh?” Peeta snaps me back to reality for a second time today.

Oh yeah, he probably still needs my notes.

“Sorry, Peeta. Yeah. I guess. I didn’t know he even liked me.”

“Well. What’s not to like?” He says so quietly, I almost ask him to repeat it, to be sure.

“Did you need my no-”?

"Miss Everdeen! Is my class taking up your social time?” Mrs. Leeg asks me.

“No, Mam’.” I say.

Busted.

Peeta looks and mouths at “sorry”, me. I give him a small smile and try my best to pay attention to the lesson.

Just like she promised, Prim does my hair. We found some cute shoes for $12.99, and the dress she borrowed, fits me like a glove. It’s a pretty, shimmery coral color. Right now she’s doing my makeup.

“Katniss! Hold still. Just… don’t blink for a minute.” Prim scolds me.

“Okay, I’m trying. I think you put everything in this makeup bag on my face. Are you sure my hair needs hair spray? I never use that stuff. Isn’t it bad for the ozone or something?” I ask feeling more nervous than I’ll admit to.

Prim laughs and shakes her head. I’m actually grateful to have my sister helping me. I just think people put too much money, time, and effort into these things. I don’t like being fussed over and I’ve been sitting in a chair, in a hot bathroom, for over an hour.

“Dare I say it?”

“Please, dare to.” I beg cracking my neck a little.

“You… wait… okay. You’re done!” Prim squeals eyes all lit up, clapping her hands.

“Bout freaking time. Oh, hand me my phone I gotta check and see if my date texted me. He was going to pick me up, but I told him I could meet him at the school.” I tell her.

Cato doesn’t really need to see where I live. Our house is old and small and the neighborhood is not like his; I’m sure. We have people selling on the corner and cars put on blocks every other week.

I see he just texted me.

Cato- Ur 2 sexy not 2 b picked up. But if u want 2 meet there itz cool. (-:

He texts like a 14-year-old girl.

Katniss- I do. I’m hitching a ride with my friends.

He replies right back.

Cato- Ur wish is my command. Pretty lady.

Ok. I’ll admit. That was cute.

Katniss- See u soon :)

I can’t believe I’m really going to Prom. I’ve never danced in front of anyone before. I hope Cato isn’t like some professional dancer or something.

“Oooh he seems sweet. With the whole, ‘wish is my command thing’. Like in The Princess Bride movie.” Prim sighs.

"Stop reading over my shoulder goober. Besides, Wesley says, ‘As you wish’ to Buttercup.” Also, he’s okay as a first date for me. I mean… it’s just one dance. We’ll see how it goes.” I explain.

“Well, with that attitude? He must be super excited.” She laughs. “Just promise me you’ll try to have fun and loosen up. As someone wise once said, these are the moments of our lives.”

“Okay, Little Duck. One; that is from a commercial for coffee, and two, it’s, ‘Celebrate the moments of our lives’.”

"Semantics, Kat.”

“Plus, I don’t need to loosen up. I have plenty of fun.” I point out scowling.

“Sure you’re tons of fun. Just have more fun than usual, mmkay. And don’t make that face you’ll mess up my masterpiece.”

What? I’m fun.

“Whatever Prim. Can you help me put my dress on? Finnick and Annie and the rest of the crew are picking me up soon.” I say.

BeeTee suggested that everyone chip in to get a stretch limo. I told them not to worry about me, because I don’t have the money.

Story of my life.

Of course they insisted I don’t need to pay, and that they’ll pick me up, because Thom’s house is so close to mine.

The rest of the gang literally lives on the other side of the tracks, like literal railroad tracks. “The upper half”, meaning, most of their parents are doctors and lawyers that make six figures a year. Or they are at least college graduates. My mom is not quite so well paid. She’s a Licensed Vocational Nurse and has been for the passed 13 years, with a long break after my dad’s sudden death of a Cerebral Aneurism when he was 27. He was an archery teacher at a college, with no life insurance. I was eight. Prim was four, almost five. She barely remembers him. My mom almost didn’t recover from the depression of losing him. So she didn’t work for about 5 years.

Gale’s family lost his dad to a fire about two years later. He loved being a firefighter, but we were all sad he never got to meet Posy. She was born after he passed. The Hawthornes really helped us till my mom came out of the fog she walked around in. I sort of took the role of mom when it came to Prim. It taught me having to take care of someone else is tough. Between Prim and watching other neighborhood kids, I’m unsure I ever want kids of my own. They are loud, usually sticky or wet and always hungry.

So I’ve pretty much managed to steer clear of dating boys. Till now. I throw myself into working at Sam’s music store and writing music since, that’s what I want to do. I’ve worked at a couple fast food places, when times were tough and we needed extra money.

I used to volunteer at the church soup kitchen. They always let Prim and I eat for free; and it makes you feel good to do for others when you are feeling like you’ve hit rock bottom.

Needless to say, we’ve been pretty poor most of our lives. But no one really knows. I would hate to see the pity on their faces and I don’t like owing people. It’s something I’m working on. Annie and Delly keep telling me that we all need people and that I push people away trying to be so independent.

“You look great. My baby’s all grow‘d up. Mom… she wanted to be here. But I told her it was okay. She would probably make you more nervous anyway.” Prom says snapping pics with her phone.

It’s only my first real date ever.

Why would I need my mom?

I kiss Prim goodbye, before I do something stupid like cry. I grab my purse and make the quick walk to Thom’s house.

“Hey Katniss! Dem fake lashes though. You look so glam.” Rue says to me.

Thom’s little sister Rue, is the same age as Prim and they’ve been best friends since they could walk. Rue is sitting on her porch holding her baby nephew.

“Thanks. Your partner in crime did my hair and makeup, so you know, I’m uncomfortable.” I say making her giggle.

“Thom will be out in a minute. He’s looking up videos on YouTube on how to tie a fancy bow tie.” Rue informs me.

“Okay. I’ll wait out here.” I say sitting next to her playing with C.J’s little feet. “He’s getting so big. Where’s Jo?”

Jo named her son Cori Junior Mason. But as far as I know, no one knows who Cori Senior is or his last name since the baby has hers. I don’t like to pry, so I’ve never asked Jo what the deal was with her baby daddy.

“She had to work as usual. But I only have to keep Cori until my mom gets off. Then I’m going to your house to hang out with P.” Rue says.

“Okay she has money for pizza. My mom should be home by eleven and no inviting over Vic and Rory. I don’t care if they claim they need to do homework with you, need to borrow a book, a pencil or pen, blah, blah, blah. Hawthorne’s are banned.” I warn.

“Katniss it was only that one time, I swear.” Rue tries to explain turning pink in the cheeks. “Vic said he and Rory couldn’t go home cause they got detention and Gale was gonna tar and feather them.”

“Yeah but when I got there you and Vic were on the couch, in the dark. And P and Rory were in her room, with the door closed. If you don’t want me to tell Rooba, Hazelle, and my mom, it best not happen again. You’re a smart girl. You’re holding what one of the consequences to being alone with boys can be.” I scold.

“We know. We know. Even though you didn’t tell our mom’s; Gale, Thom, Jo and Madge gave all four of us the talk shortly after. It was so embarrassing.” Rue blushes harder.

I got left out of that talk seeing as how I haven’t done what’s in the talk.

“Well, I said I wouldn’t tell your moms. I never promised I wouldn’t tell my back up.” I laugh.

“Ok, Rue, be good. Go on in. I got CJ’s bottle ready. Oh, hey Kat. Wow! Durn girl! Who knew you could be so hot.” Thom teases me.

“Yeah, sure. Compared to Dells?” I joke back.

“Well, you could be a close second.” He laughs boasting. “Ha-ha. My lady is pretty fly. No denying that.”

I hear the honking a block away from Thom’s house. The limo is white and gaudy. But it is Prom. My friends are such goofballs. They are hanging out of the windows and sunroof. They all look fantastic though.

“Hi baby. You are so cute in your tux. OMG! Katniss is that you? Picture, I need photographic evidence. Let’s take a picture everyone!” Delly screams when she sees us.

“You look so pretty.” Annie and Wiress tell me at the same time.

“You two, too.” I respond laughing.

Everyone hops out of the limo and starts pairing up on the Mason’s front lawn. Annie and Finn, BeeTee and Wiress, Dells and Thom. Annie is in aquamarine. Delly is wearing golden yellow. Wiress’ dress is a shimmery purple. And their respective dates are matching, with their ties, or bow ties and or, their cumber buns.

Crap! I’m the only one without my date.

Wait Peeta is alone too.

Posy runs over to us and I’m about to ask where her mom is when Peeta scoops her up.

“My brother said I can be your date since you don’t have one.” Posy tells him.

“P where’s Rory? You shouldn’t be out here by yourself.” Peeta tells her.

How do they even know each other?

I see Vic looking at the scene making sure Posy got here okay. He and Thom share a head nod. Vic walked her over but stayed back a few feet and is now heading back in the direction of the Hawthorne residence.

“I got her. She’s going to my house with Rue.” Thom says.

We aww and laugh at Posy, first for holding Peeta super tight, and not wanting to let him go. Then at her kissing his cheek before being dragged away by Thom.

Peeta comes over to me looking more handsome than I’ve ever seen him. His usually unruly blond curls are slicked back with gel. His suit is matte black. His jacket is unbuttoned revealing a matching vest. It’s the tie that catches my eye. It’s like an orange sunset color.

Funny, we sorta match.

“Hi.” He says to me with a smile on his face.

“Hey.” I say and we share an awkward half hug.

Man, he smells amazing.

“So your date is very young.” I tease.

“Oh, yeah P is my girl. Her best friend from school has cancer and I go the hospital she in to read a couple weekends a month. Rory and Posy go visit sometimes, so we got pretty acquainted.”

So true rumor.

“That’s so… awesome and really, really, sweet.” I gush stupidly.

Shoot me now, for social awkwardness.

“It’s no big deal, really. Anybody can volunteer. I mean you could do it… if you want. Anybody can, um. If they want to.” He rambles cutely.

“That’s so nice. You’re such a nice guy Peet. Tell me again. Why don’t you have a date, man?” Finnick teases him.

Peeta turns red and shoots Fin a look. Then he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Well, I was gonna ask someone. But she got asked already.” Peeta says.

“Peet, stand next to Kat. She is solo for now too. Just so the picture is even and looks good.“ Annie says winking at me.

"Okay ladies, in front of the guys… yeah. Like that.” Delly orders.

She fixes all of us and pushes Peeta and I together so that my back is against his chest. He wraps his arms around my waist pulling me closer. I feel a warm tingly feeling that starts in my head and travels down to my toes. I don’t know where to put my hands at first. But I finally end up crossing my wrists and placing them on top of his clasped hands, which are up against my stomach.

Whoa! Butterflies.

Jeesh, what am I? Thirteen?

The driver takes the photo on Finn’s phone. And then everyone yells, “My phone too!” So we’re standing in this position for like 10 minutes laughing every time someone says, “Wait! Do-over. I blinked!” or “Finn, stop tickling me!” or “Put your tongue in your mouth, Tommy, and smile!”

"So… you look beautiful. I, uh… hope… hope you have a good time tonight.” Peeta says quietly in my ear.

Lord, love a duck!

He’s so freakin’ cute.

He has to lean down a little to reach cause he’s got about four inches on me. I get goose bumps on the side of my neck. I turn my head and say thank you, realizing my face is so close to his that our cheeks brush against each other’s, making me blush beet red. Peeta turns to look at me.

Boy, stop looking at me with those gorgeous eyes.

He looks forward again. Then I take the opportunity to attempt to hide my blush by quickly looking forward as well. But, it doesn’t help. Because, my lips brush his cheek on the way back front, as I begin to turn around. I’m pretty sure; the flash of a camera phone goes off at that exact moment.

Maybe he didn’t feel it?

“You guys all make great couples. Especially you two lovebirds, in the orange, I can feel the love when you look at each other.” The limo driver says.

Comments are unnecessary dude.

“Oh they aren’t a couple… Wait are you? What about Cato?” Delly accuses smiling.

OMG! How embarrassing.

I quickly let go of Peeta and walk out of his grasp. He looks lobster red in the face and a little angry, maybe.

Is it that hard for him to imagine us as a couple?

Six years ago, I would have been thrilled to have someone say that about us. I had a bit of a crush on him in the 6th grade but I kept it to myself. I figured, why waste my time? I’m from the wrong side of town. I had my sister to take care of. He probably would’ve laughed and so would everyone else have. I think Annie figured it out, but she never said anything. And I’ve moved on… or so I thought.

We thank the driver, pile into the limo, and make our way to the school gymnasium. I wish I‘d eaten something more substantial than ramen for dinner as we all laugh about our first time being in a limo. Well, it’s most of our first times being in one. I guess Peeta, Delly and Finnick have all ridden in one before.

“You and Peeta were super-cute in those pictures.” Wiress tells me quietly.

“He was just being nice. He’s nice to everyone.” I rationalize. “I didn’t know he was gonna ask someone to Prom. Do you know who it was?”

I’m practically whispering so no one tries to make a thing out of my curiosity.

“Apparently a friend, he’s liked forever according to BeeTee, ouch!” Wiress says but BeeTee who she’s sitting next to bumps her arm with his arm accidentally.

He apologizes quietly.

“Who I think he heard from Marvel, who I think heard from somebody at a different school. So basically, no I don’t know for 100 percent certainty. But maybe you should ask Finnick.” She finishes.

“Oh, well that’s too bad she was unavailable.” I try to sound aloof.

It’s a less then twenty-minute ride and when we get out, we see Glimmer and Clove standing near Marvel, Blight, and Thresh.

Those little hoochies are dressed in what are supposed to be prom dresses. But they aren’t seniors… nor are they dating any seniors. Plus, their outfits barely cover their ass.

“What are they doing here?” Delly asks no one in particular.

“Hag alert.” Clove announces.

“I know right? Hold on I’m gonna to snap that. So clev Clove.” Glimmer says laughing but not even looking up from her phone.

“Oh, I know you two jail bait, skank-a-licious, trash-boxes, ain’t talking to us.” Delly points a finger at them.

Delly looks them up and down and puts her palms up in both their faces. Essentially shutting up Clove, from coming back with something smart.

“Uhn uh. Save it. Move heifas.” Delly quips walking by.

Thom, Finn, Annie, Wiress, and BeeTee follow her laughing. Peeta is right behind me. I can tell because I can feel the warmth radiating off him.

Is he waiting for me to go in?

“Marv? Are you gonna let her talk to us that way?” Glimmer whines to her brother, sounding indignant.

“Sis, I told you. I’m not buying your ticket or taking you in with me. So, unless you two find dates… go home. That way, Dells can’t rip you a new one every time you run your mouth.” Marvel jokes.

Just then a pretty brunette walks over to Marvel. He turns, puts an arm around her, and they go into the building.

“Blighty Whitey, won’t you take pity on us and take us in with you?” Clove begs.

“Are you really a trash-box? Cause I could be into that.” Blight and Thresh laugh as she sticks her tongue out at him.

“There you are beautiful.” I hear Cato say before I can see him.

He is dressed in a black 007-type tuxedo. He cleans up well, I might add. He’s walking across the parking lot and winks at me.

Will I never stop blushing tonight?

“Yup, here I am.” I say lamely and smile.

“If you need anything… just say so.” Peeta tells me quietly as Cato walks towards us.

Peeta backs away from me and walks over to Thresh. Cato hugs me, and then latches my arm onto his. Next thing I know, he’s ushering me towards the entrance of the gym.

I look back over my shoulder and nod my understanding at Peeta. He shoots me a half smile. Glimmer cuts off my view of him. Probably trying to flirt her way in with Peeta.

Haha, fat chance of that… Hoe in training.

Cato pulls out our tickets as we walk into the menagerie of streamers and balloons that take up half of the gym. There is a table with punch and refreshments, and a DJ booth way over in the corner. Some tables and chairs are setup with people sitting at them talking and laughing. Right in the center of everything is the dance floor. The lights are beautiful. It’s dim lighting, but every color imaginable is dancing off the walls.

“So, you wanna dance or would you like a drink first?” Cato asks me.

Some people are dancing already, but not many. I definitely need time to prepare for that.

"Umm, I’m not a very good dancing-”

“Hey! What up C? This her? The one you caught the other day? Damn dude! She’s wavy.” Some random guy I’ve never seen says to Cato, giving him a low five that turns into a weird bros handshake.

“Yeah this is my hottie, Kat.” Cato brags.

“Uh, Katniss, actually.” I say and put my hand out to the stranger.

He has long blond hair. So blond it’s almost white… white as snow. Then it hits me. This guys name is Snow. I remember him getting teased in elementary school by some older kids.

He started using the nickname they gave him to introduce himself. Then they didn’t have anything to tease him about. Glad he figured out a way to deal with those bullies before he got all messed up.

“You can call me Snow. C-Dog here is my cousin, actually, so don’t you go breaking his heart. All right now, Kitty Kat? Cato and Kitty. I can see the invitations to the wedding now.” Snow laughs and gives me a wicked grin.

I pull my hand away. Okay, I jumped the gun on that one. Maybe he’s not the, take the higher road, well adjusted type that I thought he was.

He’s a little creepy actually.

“Too fast cuz. Let’s get through tonight, first.” Cato says laughing almost as menacingly as Snow, but then smiles sweetly at me and squeezes my hand.

“I see my friends acting stupid over there. Cato, I’ll just go tell them I found you and get some punch. It was nice meeting you, Snow.” I say trying to sound convincing.

“You too Kitty.”

It really wasn’t all that nice. He thinks I’m something you catch. He won’t say my name right, and he’s picking out our wedding invites after one date.

Cato catches me off guard and pulls me in for a kiss. It’s not long; but he brushes his tongue across my lips and I gasp, causing my mouth to open a bit and he smiles.

He tastes like peppermint, but with a hint of alcohol? He’s underage. Where would he get booze? Ugh, probably Snow. I step back, but leave my hand on his chest so he doesn’t feel rejected that I pulled away so soon. I can tell he enjoyed the brief kiss.

“Sure thing, sugar lips… I’ll be here waiting.” Cato promises.

As I walk away his cousin says, “Damn, Cuz.”

I walk away, faster.

Creep.

When I spot my friends, I contemplate asking them if it’s a bad sign that Cato may have already started drinking. But decide not to and tell Wiress how lovely her purple dress is. Out of my Peripherals, I see Glimmer clutching Peeta’s arm walking towards us.

What the actual freak?

“Hey there Cathey.” Glimmer purposely mispronounces my name.

Oh, no she didn’t.

“It’s Kat-Niss.” I pronounce like I’m explaining it to a toddler.

Oh, that’s right, I am.

“What Evers. Totes, literally.” Glimmer states so eloquently.

Ditz.

Why is Peeta with her?

Why am I so pissed about it?

“Peeta, I’m going to get some punch would you like some?” Glimmer asks him, which is shocking since she never does anything for anyone else.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks.” Peeta says smiling at her.

She bats her eyes at him like she’s in a 2005 Mariah Carey music video.

Ugh! Stop it!

“Peeta, don’t tell me you brought her in with you?” Wiress asks before I can, as soon as Glimmer walks away.

“Wiress, come on, I didn’t have a date. The girl I was gonna ask, already had a date, so just let me… enjoy my Prom. No judgement, please.” He responds causing Wiress to look ashamed and nod.

“I just don’t see why you would want to even hang around wi-” I start.

“Don’t Katniss! Okay. You’re here with Johnson, right? So just go… be with him.” Peeta practically yells at me.

Then he turns and walks away, leaving Wiress and I slack jawed and dumbfounded.

What the hell was that about?

I walk back over to Cato where he’s surrounded by a group of cheerleaders and jocks. I almost turn back around, but he quickly walks over to me and snags my wrist gently.

“Hey gorgeous. Where you off to? We were just discussing the fact that you and I are probably gonna win Prom King and Queen.” He says cockily.

He must be joking.

“But I’m not even in the running.” I state confused.

“Sure you are. I nominated you as soon as you agreed to come with me yesterday; and everyone is saying how official we are as a couple. I can’t wait to beat Finnick and Annie. I bet they think that they have it in the bag already. But we’re gonna give them a run for their money. Right?” Cato asks sounding excited.

He did ask me to Prom and he did buy my ticket. He seems really anxious to win. The least I could do is try for him.

“Okay. Well, what do we do then?” I ask biting my bottom lip.

“Well first, stop biting your lip. It’s too damn sexy.” He smiles and grabs both of my hands, pulling me to a table far away from everyone.

“And second, take a swig of this.” Cato takes a silver flask from his jacket pocket and hands it to me discreetly.

Hold up. What?

“I… What is it?” I question.

“Liquid courage.”

I just stare at him.

“It’s just Bacardi 151. That’s a kind of rum. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.” He says pushing it closer to my mouth.

Am I seriously about to do this?

I have had alcohol once before in my life. It was with Gale. But he only let me have a tiny sip.

This is only a little too, right?

Cato says he’ll take care of me.

I take a medium gulp and it burns going down my throat. I try not to wince in pain, but it’s just so strong. I’m coughing when Cato hands me water, so I down the whole cup and burp very un-ladylike. I cover my mouth and say excuse me. He just chuckles like he’s proud and then hands me some minty gum.

“Thanks?”

I suddenly feel very loose and tingly.

“No prob babe. Follow me.” He says raising an eyebrow.

We mingle with most of the patrons at the prom for about an hour. I’m introduced to a ton of people, and told a bunch of names, I’ll never remember. When we get around my friends they all make an effort to be nice to Cato.

But where’s Peeta?

When Cato pretty much tells my crew to vote for us, I’m embarrassed. But Finnick tells us he hopes we win. Then Cato drags me to the corner again to take another swig of his jacket juice. It burns a bit less this time. Cato then escorts me to the dance floor. He’s a really good dancer on his own. But he gets so close to me and grabs my waist rocking my hips. I didn’t know I had this much rhythm. I slowly start to gain confidence.

Yeah, I got this.

After the floor gets packed we start grinding into each other, my back to his front. I attempt to do what I’ve seen on TV and YouTube. Cato seems very pleased. My friends, who are dancing nearby are fluctuating between shock and admiration at my booty popping skills. I have to admit I’m actually having fun.

“I’m gonna go to the, um ladies room.” I tell him in his ear.

Cato turns his face and kisses me more passionately then he did before. But again I back away. I smile and he lets me go.

“Hurry back, sexy.” He says.

I’m not sure how I feel about all of these kisses. It all seems so fast.

Should I be kissing him? It is a date.

I try to make my way through the crowd. It’s jam-packed and sweltering in here. It takes me a couple minutes to get off the dance floor, and now I’m feeling kinda fuzzy. My girls must notice, and see me walking towards the restrooms. They’re close behind.

“Katniss! Look at you having fun!” Annie says grinning.

Boo Yow! Ha! Primmy!

Who says I’m not fun?

Not trusting my voice I just smile and high five her. They are all looking in the mirror, adjusting straps hairpins or makeup.

“Delly is a little jealous you can twerk it like that.” Wiress laughs.

“I am not! My boyfriend is half black and I keep him sat-is-fied. So, obviously, I can shake what my momma gave me good enough. But Katniss is doing alright.” Delly clarifies.

“Yeah I’m am!” I shout while waiting for a stall door to open.

We all laugh super hard and then it’s finally my turn to pee. They all take more time to fix their makeup, talk about after parties and check each other for tissue paper on the bottom of their shoes. Then leave telling me they’ll meet me on the dance floor. I think I pee for almost three minutes straight. As I go to wash my hands, I feel much more unsteady then I did before.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t eaten much.

Ah well.

On the way back to Cato, I bump into Peeta and Glimmer who are dancing at the edge of the crowd.

“Are you alright?” Peeta asks.

“You not maddat me inymore?”

I sound weird. I feel weird too.

“Uch! Peety! She got sweat on my arm.” Glimmer pouts.

Shut up trick!

“Yeah, Kat, you don’t look so good. I’m gonna help her get some water, Glim. I’ll be right back.” Peeta yells over the music.

Ha ha ha! Suck it, Trabeck!

She looks pissed and walks away. Peeta helps me to a table, where we sit. He gives me a cold water bottle to drink and holds one on my neck.

“You shood go back to yer jailbait. Don’ worry bout me. Ine all good.” I slur a little batting his hand trying feel my forehead away.

Drink the water. Don’t spill it. Good.

“You are not all good. You’ve been drinking? Did that fuc- Did that tool give you alcohol?” Peeta questions me.

Damn! He can tell.

“Noo! I juss haded like one skwig! We wanna be pom kink and queent. You don’ know how mush I neededed to re-laacks. I don’ dantce.” I sit up and try to speak more clearly.

“You don’t drink either. But you seem to not have any trouble shaking your ass.” Peeta scolds.

He closes his eyes while pinching the bridge of his nose. He lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Who er you… my dad? I got go pee-pee, Pee-ta.” I laugh at my hilarious joke.

He didn’t find it funny. I wobbly get up from the table, but he captures my hand in his before I can walk away. I look into his bright blue eyes. For the second time tonight it gives me butterflies. I hiccup.

I’m trying to be mad at you.

“Hold on. I just… I don’t like that guy for you. You deserve better and he isn’t as nice a guy as you think. Just be careful. Okay?” Peeta sounds like he’s talking through glass as I yank my hand free and scowl at him.

How dare he judge my date? He’s here with Glimmer.

“I said Ine good. You c-careful nodda get herpees! Yeah? Or scabies, fromm yer date. Unkay? Cado is showin’ me good time an an he assed me. Not you. So whaddayou care?” I stammer walking away from him.

“Hey babe… there you are. Thought I was going to have to send out search and rescue for you. They’re gonna announce the King and Queen soon.” Cato tells me.

Okay, gotta keep it together.

“Ca I hafe s'more gum an iss my maketup runnin’?”

Cato looks at me, and tilts my face gently in both of his hands. I can feel his breath on my face, but it’s cool and nice. He wipes under my eyes with his thumbs and kisses me on the nose sweetly.

Huh. See Mellark. Cato’s definitely better than Glimmer.

“There. All better. Okay? Just hold on to me.” Cato reassures me.

I eat some chips and drink a lot more water. One more bathroom break and I feel myself getting back to normal.

After an announcement by the assistant principle, asking the nominee finalists to step forward I start to get nervous, I’m gonna fall like in the Miss Congeniality movie. It’s myself, Annie, some girl on student council, and the varsity head cheerleader. The guys are Finn, Cato, Thresh, and Peeta.

What the?

We have more waiting around to do as they talk about each of us. People clap and shout out their favorites. I’m still a little shocked to be up here. Then it’s time to reveal the winners.

“And your 2013 Prom King is Finnick Odair! And his Queen is Annabelle Cresta!” Mr. Plutarch says.

Yay! I’m happy for them.

There is a ton of applause. Cato looks at me. I see the disappointment, frustration and confusion on his face.

“The runners up are Peeta Mellark… and Katniss Everdeen!” Mr. Plutarch announces.

Holy shit!

If anything it should be Cato and I. But it really shouldn’t even be me at all. Not even in second place.

They place a sash across our chests. This is all very sobering. Now when I look at Cato’s face, all I see is frustration. They give Cato and the head cheerleader third place sashes and flowers, and fourth place to Thresh and the last girl.

After the applause dies down, we are expected to dance with our respective win mates. Mine being Peeta, I automatically wrap my arm around his offered arm and he escorts me to the floor where the lights are shining on us.

I can’t believe this.

But I do love this song by Jason Mraz.

He puts a hand on the small of my back. I rest mine on his shoulder. Our other hands intertwine. We start moving and a couple of camera flashes go off.

Everyone’s looking. Please don’t let me fall.

“I didn’t even know I was nominated.” Peeta quietly admits.

“Yeah, me either, until tonight. Cato put my name in after I agreed to go with him. Look, I’m really sorry for earlier. You’re right. I do not drink. And I shouldn’t have tonight but I’m just so… it’s just. I don’t fit in to things, socially speaking. I don’t live in the right part of town. I wanted to relax and enjoy this because I don’t usually get to. It’s my last chance and my sister made me promise to try. But I shouldn’t have been mean to you and I’m sorry.” I apologize.

“Don’t apologize. It’s fine, whatever you do. I shouldn’t have been in your business. I should have just asked you to Prom.”

“Me?”

“I mean, if… if I wanted to be worried about you so much. I just didn’t… I wasn’t sure you’d say yes… to anyone. Especially to Cato… I mean he’s not even in our group of friends. You know? Anyway, you look phenomenal. Your sister was right. You should enjoy this night. Sorry I’ve been ruining it.” He tells me sincerely.

Aw. You’re not.

“Well, I wouldn’t say you ruined it. I’m enjoying myself right now. And I might have said yes if you had asked me, Peeta.”

I can’t meet his eyes after admitting that out loud. He lets go of my back and tips my chin up to make me look him in the eyes.

Those damned transcending blue eyes.

“Is it too late? To ask you out on a date I mean?” He asks smiling.

I here the words, but I can’t be sure I didn’t just make them up. He definitely looks serious and nervously nibbles the inside of his bottom lip.

“Can I cut in?” Cato asks sounding irritated and his eyes are glossy.

Damn.

“I… umm. Cato, I’m sorry we didn’t win like you had hoped.” I say not knowing what else to say.

“That’s okay, doll. How could you know, right?” He says but I sense something off about him.

I want to say, I don’t want to dance with him, so that I can stay right here in Peeta’s arms. But I feel obligated.

“I’ll just, see you later Katniss.” Peeta relents.

Though his eyes are asking me if I’m sure he should let go. I drop my hands and he lets go of me backing up a few steps. As he’s leaving, I think about the answer to his question.

No, it’s not too late. Ask me right now!

“Hey Peeta? No.” Is all I say and he smiles and nods.

“What was that about?” Cato asks as he starts walking me in the opposite direction.

The fact that I’d rather be with him.

“Oh, he just asked me a question. So I told him no.” I tell Cato hoping he doesn’t ask what the question was.

“Good, the answer was no, so he probably got the hint.” He says continuing to lead me away from everyone.

Only now he’s got an arm around my shoulder and is leaning slightly on me for support. We cut through a big group heading out the dance floor for a popular song.

“Where are we going?” I ask as we leave the gym, heading down the school hallway.

“I’m so upset about losing. I just want to get some air, if that’s okay?” He asks looking so sad.

Poor guy.

As cocky as he tries to act, it’s refreshing to see him humbled and vulnerable.

“Hey, it’s okay. Cato, you’re a really popular guy. I mean, you’ll be on dozens of pages in the yearbook and everyone will write about how awesome it was to know you.” I try to cheer him up.

He smiles at me and I notice his brow is full of sweat. If he’s not feeling well, maybe I can get him to call it an early night.

“I think it’s awesome to know you. Thank you for coming with me to prom. You look so hot in that dress. I just want to take it off you.” Cato admits slanting more into me as I struggle to hold him upright.

Okay. You must still be drunk.

“Whoa there, Tiger. That’s getting a little ahead of ourselves.” I caution.

I didn’t notice how far down the hall we’ve walked till now. I can barely hear the bass of the music.

“Katniss. I just feel such a connection with you.” He says as he starts kissing my neck.

Although it doesn’t feel bad, it doesn’t quite feel good either. He pushes me up against a wall. I put my hands up on his shoulders try to keep some space between us, but he slumps into me and he’s solid and heavy.

All right. How to let him down gently?

“Cato maybe… we… should go back to the rest of the-”

“Maybe you should shut the hell up. I think you should show my cousin the good time he deserves for bringing you to the prom. Even though you lost the crown for him.” It’s Snow.

Where the hell did he come from?

Snow is standing in a shadowy part of the hallway to the right of us. Cato stops kissing me but doesn’t loosen his grip on me.

“Hey! Let go. And what do you mean the good time he deserves? I’m going back to the gym. Cato! Let up!” I say as forcefully as I can while pushing Cato hard on the chest and arms, to no avail.

Snow walks closer to us.

Stay the hell away from me Creep!

“I really like you. Can’t you see that?” Cato asks distracting me, smiling with a scary look in his eyes.

To think, they are just as blue as Peeta’s. But they aren’t nearly as warm and beautiful.

Okay, Cato, let me loose. You like me, but I don’t like you that way.

“Getting all snugly with that Mellark asshole. Did he bring you to prom or did Cato?” Snow questions.

You’re an asshole!

I start getting scared for real. Surely these two idiots know that my friends will be looking for me. Then suddenly… without warning, Snow puts his hand over my mouth. I try to get away from Cato but he has my arms locked down and he’s too strong. I try to scream, but Snow has my mouth covered with some kind of cloth.

No! Get off me!

Cato picks me up and carries me into a room. The cloth, I realize is my runners up sash, is pushed far into my mouth, so every scream is muffled and makes me gag a little. They close the door and Snow stands outside of it. I hear the click as Cato locks it and the tears begin to fall down my face.

Fight him!

I’m kicking my feet as hard as I can, but Cato just keeps walking me over to a couch. When he puts me down I think I can try to kick him, but he sits on me faster than I thought he could move and grabs my wrists.

This isn’t happening…

Please…

This can’t be happening.

My eyes burn from makeup getting muddled with my tears. One of my eyes can’t fully open, and my jaw and throat ache from the gag and screaming. But that’s nothing to the way I hurt inside.

By the time he was done with me, I had passed out twice. Once from the pain and shock of him taking my virginity.

The second time was after I awoke to him moving above me. I tried to push him off me. I scratched him across the cheek, so he punched me hard in the face. Then he smothered my face with a nearby pillow.

I thought I died… I wanted to die… The odds weren’t in my favor.

He must’ve thought he killed me too, because now that I’m starting to wake, I hear voices.

“You weren’t supposed to kill her. Just show her a good time, you idiot! Now how are we gonna get her body out of here?”

Snow…

“I’m sorry! She got me good. Feisty bitch. I just saw the pillow and wanted her to be still, so that I could finish without her struggling.”

I’m gonna throw up.

“She was feisty wasn’t she? Damn Cuz.”

Then I hear laughing. Looking at my surroundings, I realize I’m in the teachers’ lounge. Tears threaten to fall, but I keep my breaths shallow so I don’t attract their attention.

It’s very dimly lit, but I see another door at the other end of the room, away from them. I carefully assess my injuries and decide it’s worth trying to make a run for it.

Snow has his back to me, and Cato is about to poke his head out of the closest door to look out into the hallway.

Katniss, it’s your only chance…

They’ll kill you to keep from going to jail!

Prim needs you…

Run…

Now!

“Hey! Get back here!”

Snow and Cato yell from somewhere behind me.

I’m so afraid that they will catch me. I just have to find someone… anyone. My feet feel like they’re made of lead, but I’m halfway back to the gym entrance and they haven’t overtaken me.

Please don’t catch me…

God, don’t let them catch me…

I’m shaking. My dress is ripped and bloody. I’m bare foot and bruised. I make it into the gym with only a smattering of people. I don’t see any adults.

Help me…

I scream, dropping to my knees.

Help…

Someone’s arms catch me before the rest of my body hits the floor.

I just want to be at home with Prim…

I wake in a hospital bed. I can hear machines beeping. I feel groggy. Looking through the window of the closed door, I see what look to be police outside the room and my mom is talking with them.

Mommy!

Where’s Prim?

I see Prim, sleeping in a chair next to my bed, her head resting on my arm. The other arm has tubes in it. I can see hand shaped purple and blue marks running up and down them.

“Katniss?” Peeta whispers from across the room.

Peeta?

He has tears in his eyes. His hair is disheveled. There’s a tear in his jacket. He’s got a bloody lip and scrapes on his face as well.

Peeta.

Does he know what happened?

Why is he hurt?

“Peeta? How? Are you okay?” I ask in a raspy hushed voice.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m sorry, Katniss, I’m so, so sorry. Can you forgive me?” He begs, his eyes glistening.

Forgive him?

He couldn’t have known this would happen?

He wasn’t even there.

“Peeta. You didn’t do this to me. I’m so stupid. I should have never been alone-” My voice catches on the last word and hot tears fall down my cheeks.

I try to control my breathing because it hurts when I take deep breaths.

“I wanted to ask you to the prom. I even asked your sister if you had a date. I even told her I was wearing orange. But I chickened out. If I hadn’t… or if I wouldn’t have let you go with…” He says a tear slipping down his cheek.

It was Peeta? Cato shouldn’t ever have even been my date. It should have been Peeta.

“Peeta. Please. It’s not your fault.” I plead with him to realize.

“He’s in jail. All they need is for you to confirm it was… to keep him there. But if you can’t… talk about… if you don’t want to… they can use DNA found… Oh God Katniss. I wanted to kill him. Finn, Thresh, and Blight… they had to… I almost didn’t stop hitting him.” He cries as he relives it and so do I.

I notice he won’t walk the four or five steps it would take to cross the room. And now that he mentions it, I notice the bandages wrapped around his knuckles that are bloody.

Oh Peeta.

Sweet, shy Peeta.

I did this to you.

“I’m glad they stopped you… because that’s not who you are.” I sniffle.

“He deserves to die. He deserves…”

“But you don’t deserve to go to jail because of my stupidity.” I say.

“You didn’t deserve… this. You don’t deserve to be here.” He says, tears falling.

He angrily wipes at them and looks down.

“Thank you. For… Thank you.” I struggle to get out.

“No. It’s ok. I’m just glad we caught him.” Peeta says.

Him?

Not them?

Snow!

“Peeta, there was another guy. Cato’s, cousin, I think. Snow? I don’t know his real name, but he helped him. He made sure no one came in from the hallway.” I relay, fresh tears forming.

Damn Snow! Would Cato even have done this had Snow not been there?

“Shit! I asked a guy if he’d seen anyone walk down the hall and he said that he hadn’t. I couldn’t even see his face that well, but I knew it wasn’t Cato because his suit was grey. Dammit! I didn’t think he had any reason to lie.” Peeta explains.

Peeta was looking for me.

“They… gagged me so I couldn’t yell for help.” I say looking away.

“I was so close. I could’ve stopped-”

“Don’t. You can’t blame yourself.” Prim speaks up.

How long has she been awake?

“Neither of you. I made Katniss go to Prom. I told her that you asked about her, but I didn’t know it was you and not Cato. Since you two look similar…” She trails off with tears falling down her cheeks.

They do look similar. But they are nothing alike.

My mom walks in, so Peeta excuses himself to let my friends in the waiting room know I’m awake. He stops on the way out to tell the police that the original statement he gave needed to be adjusted, pertaining to the guy he questioned in the hallway.

Mom comes over to me, and without saying a word, she just hugs me and cries. Prim cries and holds my hand and eventually we all calm down.

When police Officer Jackson and his partner Officer Holmes comes in, he asks me if I would feel more comfortable talking with a female detective.

Yes.

They also ask if I’d like for my mother and sister to leave. I ask for the woman detective, and I suggest for Prim to get some breakfast, since the sun has come up. She hesitantly does what I ask.

“Ask Peeta to take you, little duck.” Mom tells her.

A half hour later, Jackson, sends in a detective who introduces herself as Alma Coin. She is dressed in a black business suit and heels. Her hair is in an asymmetric black bob, with one streak of grey. I start at the beginning and tell her everything. She takes notes on everything I say.

“Okay, Miss Everdeen. Now, I don’t want to upset you any further, but I just need to be certain of the facts. Since we are talking about rape here. So, if I have this straight… you chose to go to prom with this boy, Cato Johnson? You willingly, and illegally, accepted alcohol from him? Although, you’re both below the legal drinking age? Then you say that you walked away from the dance with him… also, willingly. At that point he and his light blond haired cousin, whose real name you don’t know, and which no one else seems to recall seeing, at all, last night… gagged you and took you to the teachers’ lounge? Where Cato Johnson proceeded to assault and rape you. You lost consciousness, twice, then ran out, without them stopping you? Is that your statement?” Detective Coin asks.

She sounds like she doesn’t believe a word I’ve said.

Why would I make this up?

“Yes. I thought he was the guy my sister was trying to set me up with. I know it’s wrong to drink. I’ve never had more than a sip before, but I didn’t think he was a… bad… guy. He said… he said he’d look out for me. I didn’t realize how far away we were from the gym until… it was too late. Snow gagged me and stood watch outside the door. My friend Peeta saw Snow and talked to him when he noticed I went missing. Ask Peeta! I didn’t make him up! Cato… he smothered me. He thought he killed me. So when I saw the opportunity to try and run for my life, I took it. Thankfully, I had enough energy to make it back to where other people were, or I doubt they would have let me live!” I shout as much as my voice will allow.

I’m furious at her accusations.

Am I on trial here?

“This friend Pee-Ta Mel-Lark, is it? Is he the one who also beat Cato within inches of his life? Is Peeta a boyfriend you were trying to make jealous?” She asks.

What!

I’m shocked and angry. I hate this woman for accusing Peeta of doing anything wrong. My fists are clenched so hard that my hands are starting to hurt.

He was trying to save me.

“No!” I say shaking my head.

“Are you sure you didn’t just sleep with Cato, then make up a story so you wouldn’t have to look like the girl who got drunk and slept with a guy at school? It’s a common tale. You do realize he could go to jail for a very long time, don’t you Miss Everdeen?” Coin questions in her accusatory tone.

“My daughter… was rushed, to the hospital unconscious. You can see the bruises on her face… and on her arms. Katniss had a rape kit done on her. She was proclaimed by several credible doctors, to indeed be… raped! She needed stitches for heaven’s sake! She would never risk and innocent person’s life just to save her, reputation. This is the first time she’s ever even gone on a date, or to a school function… and she was a… a virgin until last night. So, this Cato son of a bitch needs to be castrated, and sentenced to life in prison. He can rot there for all I care. Now are you going to make sure that happens and catch his accomplice, cousin, before another poor girl gets hurt? Or should we ask for a detective who can do their job?” My mother yells at her through tears.

In that moment, I see her. My mother. The mom I knew before dad died.

Coin is visibly shaken by what my mom has just told her. She looks somewhere between angry that my mom spoke to her that way, and ashamed for overlooking my injuries.

“Asking the tough questions is my job but… I’m sorry if I offended you, Mrs. Everdeen. We have to ask to be sure. There are girls who make stories up, everyday.” Coin offers.

“Apologize to my daughter.” My mother says in a tone that states don’t fool with my family.

I shakily grab mom’s hand. She squeezes back gently.

“Please accept my apology, Miss Everdeen. You’ve clearly been through a lot. We will process Mr. Johnson, and officially charge him with rape. Unless he confesses though, there will be a trial. You may have to testify. He will be tried as a minor because he isn’t yet 18… so there is a slight chance he will not serve as much time as an adult would. I will do what I can to keep you informed of the progress on your case, but if you feel very strongly about having a new detective assigned to you, we can see to that.” Coin says and I don’t know how genuine her apology is, but she sounds like she’s telling the truth about the other things.

Trial?

Everyone looking at me…

Having to not only tell, but also… relive what happened to me?

I look to my mom. I think she can sense my apprehension… and the fact that this is all overwhelming.

“We appreciate that you’re job requires you to make sure. Please keep us informed.” My mom says coldly, and then walks Detective Coin out.

I don’t bother to say goodbye. I don’t like her.

I’m released from the hospital much later that day. When we arrive home, my mom gives me some pain medication. I settle myself on the couch to try and relax. I’m about to turn on the television when Prim snatches the remote.

“Prim, what are you-”

“You don’t wanna look at boring old TV. Let’s do something else.” She says looking guilty.

I can tell something is up with her. I ask where my phone is and she just shrugs. Then there’s a knock at the door.

“Is this The Everdeen home?”

“Are you her little sister… uh… Primrose, is it?”

“Do you have a statement?”

“Can you tell us the nature of the relationship between Katniss and her attacker before the rape?”

There is no break in between questions.

“What are you doing here?” Is all Prim can say before my mom runs over to the door.

She yells at them to leave. Then slams the door on the nine or so reporters with microphones, and cameramen from every local news channel. No wonder Prim didn’t want me to turn on the TV.

Prim is crying. Mom does her best to comfort her and sends her upstairs to rest. Then mom pulls out a business card from her purse and says that she’s going to call a lawyer. I’m so exhausted that I fall asleep.

“No! I have no statement. I don’t care if it is breaking news! I have a lawyer who informs me that if you aren’t at least a hundred yards away from my house, I can sue all of you for harassment. So scoot!” I wake to mom shouting out the door maybe an hour later.

We have a lawyer?

She turns to look my way, but I don’t want her to know that I’m awake. So I keep my eyes closed. I hear her light footfalls make there way over to me, before I feel the gentlest of kisses brush my forehead.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie. We are gonna get through this, together. I promise. I love you so much.” She whispers, and I feel her tears land on my arm.

As I hear her leave, tears of my own threaten to fall. I try to go back to sleep. That’s when the nightmares start.

The next morning, Gale comes home. For the first time since our fathers died, I see my best friend cry. He is so devastated that he wasn’t here to protect me. I tell him, and Madge tells him, that there wasn’t anything, that anyone, could’ve done.

But that’s not true… I could’ve done something different. Like, not gone to Prom with Cato, or just admitted I liked Peeta.

“Katniss, is there anything I can get you? Are you in pain?” Madge asks.

“Not right now. I just feel dumb. Like… I didn’t follow my own instincts. I’m so embarrassed.” I confess.

“Please don’t feel that way. More girls and women then you may realize are ra… umm, have this happen to them. It’s not your fault.” Madge says.

“Yes, but so many things could have prevented-” I start.

“Catnip, you are one of the strongest people I know. But you can’t control everything. I used to think there was a certain type of girl this happens to… but I was wrong. Guys who do this to women… are pigs. They obviously don’t care if you weak or strong. They don’t care if you’re a good girl. They just victimize people. It’s not your fault. Okay.” Gale says.

But…

“He’s right. You can’t keep chastising yourself. Thinking about what ifs. You just didn’t deserve this to happen to you, but it did.” My mom says coming out of nowhere.

She hasn’t been farther than ten feet from me since it happened.

“Just know, we’re all here for you, and we’ll help you get through this and move on.” She finishes.

My victims advocate’s name is Haymitch Abernathy. He is… Well he seems like, a surly, old drunk, to be honest. He’s won my mom over somehow, but I’m skeptical of his abilities as a lawyer. He is working with the D.A., since Cato is being prosecuted by the state of California.

The District Attorney is Caesar Flickerman. Caesar is not your typical looking or acting D.A. He seems to be interested in the publicity this case will bring. His assistant, Claudius Templesmith, is just as peculiar.

The next week is hectic. On Monday I’m carted off to the police station. They sent me to a sketch artist. The drawing was released to other precincts and to the media. So basically, as of now, the police have no leads to Snow’s whereabouts. Then we go to the lawyer’s office. The nightmares happen as soon as I close my eyes.

Tuesday, we go to the hospital to check on my injuries. It’s awful, because not only do I have to have my outer injuries assessed, but my inner ones as well. My mom leaves me in a room, so she can to talk to a doctor. A nurse comes in and even though the doctor already checked, she makes me lie back and put my feet in those foot stirrups I hate, again. But whatever she does, doesn’t hurt thank goodness. I feel like the humiliation isn’t ever going to end.

I also get sent to speak with a psychiatrist. Dr. Jones. I don’t much care for her because she strongly feels that I should be put on possible, dependency forming medication, with side effects that I’m not willing to deal with.

That night, the Hawthorne’s and Mason’s come over and cook a big dinner. I try to enjoy it but twice, when one of the boys goes to reach for salt or a napkin, I freak out and jump completely out of my skin. I head to bed early claiming I’m tired because I’m ashamed that my friends scare me.

Wednesday it’s off to the lawyer’s office again. The only good thing about this day is Haymitch suggests a psychologist that I actually do like. He offers me some methods that help even after just one session.

Then Thursday, back to the dreaded hospital.

Haymitch has been driving us to all these appointments, in his Bentley, because it has tinted windows. We are trying to keep the reporters off our scent.

The gist of the entire running around is, Cato is in jail, awaiting trial without bail. They questioned everyone from Prom that night. No one remembered seeing Snow, but many students remember the same thing I did. About a white haired kid being teased when we were younger.

I try to listen to what all these people tell me, but I tend to zone out a little.

The only thing I pay attention to at the hospital, is the results of my Sexually Transmitted Disease tests. I’m clean of everything.

Thank you, God!

That was the third time my mom cried that day, but finally, they are mostly happy tears.

Friday, our last stop is to the school to get my stuff and to pick up the work I’ll be doing at home for the rest of the year. I won’t be finishing my last month in school. But I can graduate with everyone, if I choose to walk across the stage.

I’m in the parking lot of the school. I can see a legion of reporters crowded around out front. They inexplicably found out our next stop.

We’ve evaded them for most of this week. It looks like the principle anticipated the ruckus and called all of the school’s security guards, and the police, to keep them at bay.

The barricades are set up out front so the side entry is the route we go in. Once inside the gates, I’m almost brought to tears. There, standing in front of, what looks to be the entire school, is Prim’s smiling face.

Next to her are Rue, Peeta, Finn, Annie, Delly, Thom, BeeTee, and Wiress. All holding a huge paper sign that says; “Katniss, We love and miss you!”

The principle, and my favorite teacher, Mrs. Atala, walk over to me to hand me my work and hug me tight. I didn’t know this many people even knew who I was.

They say a few nice things about how brave I am and what an inspiration to other rape victims I’ve become.

I don’t feel very inspirational.

They dismiss the students for the rest of the day. Mom speaks with my teachers about the work I’ll need to complete in order to graduate. So, I take the opportunity to slip away to my locker.

“Hey.” Peeta approaches me timidly.

“Hi.” I say, feeling grateful to see his face.

I feel like I can never repay Peeta for what he tried to do for me.

I owe him.

“How are you feeling? I mean, are you… you’re probably tired of answering that question huh?” He asks intuitively.

“Yeah, but I’m getting better. And you can ask me anything, Peeta. I just don’t like answering when people don’t really care.” I clarify.

He nods in understanding. Behind him my friends are all approaching.

“Katniss, can I hug you?” Wiress comes up and asks sweetly; with unshed tears in her eyes.

I shake my head yes and it turns into a dog pile hug of my three best girlfriends. Finnick, Thom, and BeeTee are standing nearby with sad smiles. No doubt, Thom told them how jumpy I’ve been in male company as of late, so they are respectfully keeping some distance.

“We were so worried about you.” Annie says crying.

“Sorry. I’m glad you guys are… here.” I say, trying not to wince as they squeeze my sore arms and torso.

I should never have left my friends that night.

“You are stuck with us. You got that?” Delly adds sniffling.

They let go and wipe their eyes. They tell me about their week, mostly about classes and home. They avoid the media coverage and they don’t ask me about anything too personal.

Thankfully no one mentions how my eye is still a little bruised. Prim tried to convince me to put makeup on. But I don’t see the point.

“How you holding up Catnip?” I’m surprised to see Gale at the school.

“Okay. Have you met the crew?” I ask.

He already knew most of my friends from when he went to school here. And he knows Thom from the neighborhood. But he shakes hands with all the rest. When he gets to Peeta he pulls him into a bear hug. Peeta looks shocked.

“First, you win over Posy. Then… well, you’re alright in my book, Mellark.” Gale says letting him go.

“Thanks, I feel like I should’ve done more.” Peeta says sadly.

“They’ll get what’s coming to them, don’t you worry. I’ll catch you all later.” Gale says, squeezing my shoulder once and leaving to go see one of his siblings.

“Let us know if you need study buddies and we could have some sleep-overs.” Delly volunteers.

There’s only about a month left of school, so the work should be fairly easy? I can tell they all just want to help me feel normal.

“That sounds great. How about Sunday?” I say trying my hardest to smile.

They all hug me one by one. Even the boys once I tell them it’s okay. Leaving Peeta as the last embrace, and I almost cry again. I feel so much safer in his arms. I just keep kicking myself for leaving them that night, for leaving him that night.

“If you need anything… ever… and I mean, ever. You find me. Okay?” He says in my ear.

I nod and wipe the few stray tears off his face and mine. We stand there a minute, staring into each other’s eyes… I think he wants to say something else, but he doesn’t.

Click!

“Oh, that one is my screensaver. I mean, if that’s okay?” Prim asks.

She took a picture on her phone. I have a flash back of that night having our picture taken while dancing. But then a blurred shadowy figured is in the background watching. I clutch Peeta’s shoulders tighter shying away from where the phantom figure would be.

“Prim?” I scold.

"No, it’s fine. I should be used to it by now. At least I know where that one’s gonna end up. There are news reporters at school everyday. They started as soon as it got released that I… "found” you that night, or because I fought Cato. I’m not sure which. They take pictures of me coming out of the house. Going to work. My mom is actually kinda happy that the bakery is on TV. It draws people in. But, they’re really everywhere.“ Peeta tells us.

"Peeta, you found me? I thought I ran away.” I ask confused.

“You did. You ran into the gym, screamed, and collapsed. I was just the first to… to see you, so I just caught you before you completely hit the ground. Delly called the ambulance. Finnick put his jacket under your head. We put Thom’s jacket over you, and then, when I saw Cato walk into the gym with scratches on his cheek. I sort of blacked out. I remember being on top of Cato hitting him in his face over and over. When they pulled me off of him… you were already gone. I didn’t see you again until the hospital. I was so scared that you didn’t make it.” Peeta confirms.

“Thank you. I’m so sorry they won’t leave you alone. My lawyer… Uh, Haymitch Abernathy should be able to help with that. He can get like a restraining order or something. From your house and the bakery. Unless your mom wants them there.” I say.

My lawyer can handle that? Ugh! I sound so pretentious.

“God sorry. My mom must sound like some sort of huge capitalist. She is really sorry about what happened. Even though she gave me an earful for interfering the way I did. But my Dad and brothers are proud of me. So… and I’m gonna shut up now.” He says.

“No, it’s fine really. I’d much rather them be at the bakery, then following my every move, if you guys don’t mind.” I respond.

“Ok, Sweetheart. Time to go.” Haymitch says walking up to us.

“Oh ok. Haymitch, this is Peeta Mellark. Peeta, Haymitch. He needs some help with the paparazzi stalking him.” I explain.

“Here you go kid. Call my office.” Haymitch says, handing Peeta his card.

“Uh, thanks.” Peeta says.

“Bye, Peeta.” Prim says hugging Peeta before walking away.

“Peeta, sweet boy. See you later.” My mom tells him while putting one hand on his cheek, earning a small smile from him.

“Bye Katniss.”

“Bye Peeta.” I say, before turning to leave.

A few days later I’m in Haymitch’s office. We’re going over my testimony for the trial when Peeta walks in.

“Good. You’re here.” Haymitch barks.

“Hey Katniss. How are you?” Peeta greets me.

“Okay and you?” I reply.

“Not bad.” He shoots me a, not quite as bright as usual, Peeta Mellark smile.

We go over every possible scenario. We learn pretty quickly that Peeta doesn’t need much coaching. He’s natural and charming. When he speaks, he looks honest and confident. Haymitch says I have a permanent scowl.

I’m a little jealous.

“Okay. I’ll be the defense. Answer the questions.” Haymitch says.

“Okay.”

“So, Why did you go with him away from everyone, down the hall?” He asks.

“I was thinking he just needed consoling after losing Prom King.” I state.

“And it never occurred to you, the kind of consoling he wanted to do with you?” Haymitch asks aggressively.

Bastard!

“Of course it did! I knew what he and his buddy were up to! I couldn’t wait to be gagged, beaten, and nearly killed!” I yell breathing too hard.

“Not gonna win anybody over with that mouth, Sweetheart.” Haymitch challenges.

“Just be yourself Katniss. The people on the jury are on your side… because you’re telling the truth. They want justice to be served. So don’t be nervous. Just pull from the same courage you used to get out of that room.” Peeta tells, me rubbing my shoulders arms softly.

I nod and take a deep breath. Even though I feel like I suck at this, after another hour of practicing, I finally improve by leaps and bounds.

“Damn, kid. You’re good. You want a job here?” Haymitch cackles at Peeta.

As we’re leaving, I thank Peeta again for his help. We sit down on a bench outside of Haymitch’s office, and he produces a bag of pastries from the bakery.

Mmm cheese buns.

“Oh, thank you Peeta. Prim is gonna be so happy.” I say and so am I.

“It’s no big deal. Can I ask you something?” Peeta inquires.

“Sure.”

“Are you sleeping okay?” He asks, and then looks down at the ground.

“Did Annie tell you about my nightmares? It’s… they’re nothing… really.” I deny.

“Oh. No. Annie didn’t say anything. I… I’ve been having bad dreams.” He admits.

I’m shocked. I thought it was just me, and I don’t admit it to anyone. Here Peeta is, trusting me with this information.

“I… I dream about not being able to breathe and not being able to use my hands. I also dream that Prim is in danger. She kinda is, really with Snow still out there. I’ve been made to go see a therapist. Dr. Aurelius. He says it’s normal to have some post-traumatic stress after… traumatic things happen to us. Maybe that’s what you are experiencing.” I offer.

“Well, in most of my dreams I’m running. I’m frantically trying to find you. I’m pushing through every door. I check every person I run into, but they are all the same person. They’re all Snow. They all have on the same grey suit, but I can’t see their face. And then I tackle someone. I’m punching the unknown person in the face and there’s… so much blood. And then I see that it’s Cato I’ve been punching, but he’s smiling… and there’s nothing wrong with his face. And I just feel like… I’ve failed. I fail you every time.” Peeta says and he’s sweating a little by the time he’s done reliving his nightmare.

Poor Peeta.

I wasn’t the only one severely altered by the events of that night.

“Peeta. I’m so sorry. I’m safe now. I’m all right now. And I need you to be ok, too. If you ever wake up and need to, call me. Just do it. Okay? I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night.” I plead pulling him into a hug.

“Okay.” He whispers in my hair.

Peeta decides he’ll also start seeing Dr. A.

He calls me that night around 2:00 am, and we talk about everything. From hobbies, family, our dislikes and favorite things. Over the next few weeks it becomes routine. We call each other every night.

Many times we fall asleep on the phone. Once I even wake up in the morning, and realize that we never hung up. When I put the phone to my ear… I say hello, and he answers. We laugh for what seems like the longest time, for the first time, since Prom.

Slowly, it feels like we’re starting to heal.

“Katniss, I’m sorry I was so dismissive when you and Wiress tried to ask me about Glimmer.” He tells me one night, over the phone, after waking from a nightmare.

I’ve got him on speaker so I have both hands free. I stop mid swipe of the toenail polish I’m applying to my pinky toe.

“Peeta, you don’t have to apologize for anything. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

“No way. You’ll never have to apologize to me.” He says yawning.

“Never? Even if I… ate all the cheese buns in your store and didn’t pay?” I joke.

“No apology needed.”

“Even if I, told everyone how much you still love the Teletubbies?”

Tinkie-Winkie, Dipsy, La La, Po.

“Kat, I told you that in confidence. That would suck. But… no you still wouldn’t need to apologize.” He grumbles.

“What if I drank all of your unsweetened tea at lunch and the restaurant was all out?”

“So there’s only sweet tea left in the restaurant?” He asks.

“In all the restaurants, everywhere.” I state dramatically.

“Umm, no you still don’t have to apologize. I’ll drink water. And don’t say there’s no more water.”

We laugh.

“Okay, okay. If I crash your car?” I ask.

“Nope, don’t have one. No apologizes necessary.”

“Peeta, when you get a car, you’ll be singing a different tune.”

“Nope.”

“How about… set your favorite apron on fire.”

“I wouldn’t even be mad. I’d be impressed you found the kitchen.” He teases. “Still no apology needed.”

“Hardy har-har. But what if I stopped eating gluten, Master Baker? Huh?”

“I’d make you gluten-free bread. Duh.”

“Ugh, I would need to say sorry at some point, for something. So out with it, Mellark. Tell me so I’m aware of my limits.”

“I can’t think of one thing. Oh, except if you never sang again I’d be pretty sad, so you’d need to apologize to the world.”

“How did you- When have you hear me sing?”

“In first grade. Actually, might’ve been kindergarten.”

I’m giggling. Clearly he’s delirious.

“What? What was I singing?” I ask skeptical of his memory.

“I don’t know? Some song about a valley or tree. Whatever it was, you sounded amazing. And all the birds outside even stopped to listen. I new then.”

I’m so shocked by what he’s telling me, I’ve given up on my second set of toenails and can barely screw the lid closed. The song he’s recalling, my dad used to sing to us. I don’t know how he remembers that.

“What did you know then?” I ask taking him off speaker and holding the phone to my ear.

Light snores float through the phone.

“Goodnight, Peeta.”

Five weeks have gone by since the night of the Prom. The trial is beginning. It feels like a circus, until Judge Paylor sends every reporter and journalist out of the courtroom.

My family and friends are here. According to my team, it’s a clear, cut and dry case. Haymitch convinces D.A. Flickerman to hit Cato with rape of a minor and attempted murder. There are opening statements from both sides. Then they present the evidence.

“Her blood alcohol content was only 0.020. You can legally operate a vehicle at 0.050. When arrested, that scumbag had a BAC of 0.080 and he was on high ecstasy!” Flickerman yells as a counter to Cato’s attorneys claim that I was drunk and wanted to be with him.

There are testimonies from Prom chaperones, and medical examiners from the hospital I was brought to.

“I was appalled to see the damage done to Miss Everdeen. She couldn’t open her right eye. Her jaw was fractured. She had a bruised windpipe, and larynx. Her Sat O levels we’re alarmingly low. Which means she wasn’t getting enough air. She had two cracked ribs and many others that were bruised. She had so many hand shaped bruises all over her neck, arms, thighs and especially her wrists. I’m surprised she was able to get away. She was close to death when she arrived.” Dr. Octavia relayed to the court.

The photos are hard on the girls. Annie takes Prim and Rue out of the courtroom crying. Wiress and Delly just hold onto each other. There’s a stenographer typing quietly away while everyone speaks. I see her tear up twice. Even most of the jury had tears in their eyes. I hold my mom’s hand. And Peeta hold’s my other under the table.

Peeta is called to the stand when we get to the subject of Snow.

“So you saw a suspicious looking guy in the hall while you were looking for your friend… and nothing told you to get close enough to see his face?” The opposing lawyer asks Peeta.

“My friends and I noticed Katniss was no longer in the gym. We split up to look for her. I knew she wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye to us. Some of our group went to the parking lot to see if they were outside. Cato’s car was still there. I asked a few kids at the dance if they’d seen what direction she went in. Something told me to check the hallway even though it was dimly lit down there. I saw a guy in the hallway and he was leaned up against a locker. The way he stood, left his face just out of the light. I asked him if he’d seen Katniss, or anyone, but he said that nobody had been down the hallway. I was just so frantic to find her that I didn’t want to waste time talking to anyone who didn’t have information about Katniss. I knew Cato had her. I just had to get to her.” Peeta tells everyone.

“You say you knew Cato had her? Is it possible you were maybe jealous, of the fact that Cato was there with Katniss, instead of you? That maybe she wanted to sleep with him?” The lawyer accuses.

“Objection, your honor! Leading the witness.” Haymitch yells.

“Sustained. Counselor stop leading the witness.” Judge Paylor says.

“Okay. Ok, so you say that you knew Cato had her. Please tell us how.”

“I suppose I couldn’t have known for sure. But I knew something was wrong. Cato just struck me as not a good guy. We play football together and he’s selfish, and has a temper.” Peeta explained.

“No further questions Your Honor.”

At one point they tried to charge Peeta with assault against Cato but the Judge threw it out for wasting her time. Calling it “A fight between teenage boys, with more pressing matters at hand”.

And finally, they put me on the stand. Dr. A has made me push through telling the horrible memories and face my fears. So I’m prepared for this day.

“Can you tell us what made you run when you did?” Caesar Flickerman asks.

“I overheard… Snow say that… that they would have to get rid of my… body because Cato thought he’d killed me. I wanted to be dead but… but I had my sister to think about. I had to protect her from people like them. I didn’t want anything to happen to her or any other girl those two might do this to. If I died no one would know what monsters they were.” I say angrily.

“Well, thank you Katniss. You sure are brave.” Caesar says to me. “Your witness, Counselor.”

“Miss Everdeen, you say that you wanted to console my client because you didn’t win Prom King and Queen. Did you feel like you owed him something?”

“Well, no. I just felt bad because he seemed to want it so badly. If I had known Ca- he was on drugs I would never have walked anywhere with him. Up until then I had my misgivings about him, but he’d been a gentleman and showed me kindness. I never thought… that he would take advantage of me being kind back.” I answer choking up.

I look to Peeta because he helped me with the wording of my answers so I wouldn’t breakdown in front of all these people.

“Mmm, hmm. And so your kindness was to drug him and then claim rape, after you slept with him?” He accuses.

I wasn’t prepared for that.

The whole courtroom is up in arms screaming at the lawyer.

“She is the victim, you ass-hat!” Gale yells.

“Douché bag! Of course has a douché bag lawyer!” I hear Finnick bellow.

“Bullshit!” Thom says.

“Yeah. Leave her alone!” Prim’s voice is muddled in with the Boo’s that are being yelled throughout the courtroom.

“This is outrageous!” Caesar yells.

“Order! I will have order in this courtroom! Order!” Judge parlor smacks the gavel repeatedly and I feel a migraine coming on.

“Your honor, my client maintains that he was drugged unwillingly and unbeknownst to him.”

“I object. She did not drug the defendant. Where would she have gotten drugs?” Caesar points out.

The two lawyers are facing off, getting closer to the bench.

“I don’t know, maybe her real boyfriend. Mr. Mellark is a very popular guy. They could’ve concocted this whole elaborate ruse to-“

“Oh, shut the hell up, Crane! You know my client is innocent of any wrongdoing. That’s all hearsay, your honor. Miss. Everdeen and Mr. Mellark’s friendship is not on trial here.” Haymitch throws out.

“Abernathy, language!” Judge Paylor warns.

I look at Cato who’s smirking, and he puckers his lips at me, like he’s blowing me a kiss.

I start to cry, and I’m having a hard time breathing. Just as I’m about to get up, Peeta stands up and I freeze. My mom is pulling at his sleeve. But he ignores her and grabs the tissue box near the end of the table.

Everyone making noise and yelling and the Judge telling the bailiffs to get the crowd under control, all stop. It all stops and Peeta quietly and slowly hands the tissue box to me.

“It’s okay Kat. Just breathe.” He tells me taking one of my hands.

I nod and we take two deep breaths. We share a small smile and just as calmly, he goes as sits back down.

No one makes a sound.

“Thank you Mr. Mellark. Miss Everdeen can you continue?” The Judge asks me.

I nod my confirmation.

“Crane, overruled. Anymore outburst from anyone will be held accountable.” Paylor states.

“Miss Everdeen, did you enjoy yourself with my client at all the evening in question?” Crane asks me.

“I did, until they announced the Prom court.” I answer honestly.

“What changed?”

“I- I left like he was disappointed and angry, but also sad. I didn’t want to finish the date with him, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings after he’d just been let down. But after we started walking down the hall and I realized he was off, I now know he was probably high, I started feeling less sad for him and more worried about his health.” I explain.

“Why didn’t you call for help?”

“I was about to when Snow came and not only startled me, but accused me of being a bad date and essentially, leading my date on.” I spit.

“And were you? Leading him on?”

“I… no. I didn’t-“

“When you said and I quote, “Something changed.” and, you didn’t want to finish the date. Isn’t it Peeta Mellark what changed your mind about my client?” Crane asks.

“Objection, putting words in her mouth.” Caesar claims.

“You don’t have to answer that. How about after you danced with Mr. Mellark, huh? Isn’t that when you decided you were no longer interested in Mr. Johnson?” Crane asks.

“Peeta is my friend. He was concerned and he looks out for me, like all my friends do. I should’ve trusted my own instincts and said no to the date in the first place, and then again not to drink alcohol with Cato, and finally not to leave Peeta’s side to appease Cato’s wounded ego. You can act like that’s inappropriate or leading behavior if you’d like. But no matter who it is in your life, when you find someone who makes you feel safe, you’d rather be near them, than with people who don’t.” I look at Cato who isn’t smirking anymore. “I should’ve told you I didn’t feel the same way about you as you did me. And yes it took me well into the date to realize that. But I never told you, you could have a piece of me just because you were nice for a couple of hours. No means no. And not saying anything doesn’t mean yes.”

The tears are openly falling now and although I feel embarrassed and vulnerable, I don’t feel like he can victimize me anymore. He doesn’t hold any power over me. I will never let him hurt me or someone else again.

The defense didn’t want to put Cato on the stand, probably because he was guilty, Haymitch had quipped. But Caesar put him on and asked about Snow.

“I don’t know what she’s talking about, I never had anyone grab her. I don’t know this Snow and she wanted to hook up. I mean, I don’t remember much. Because I, uh, think someone spiked my drink. But, she was kissing me all night and I thought we were good together.” Cato stares in my direction lying his ass off.

The real clincher was when three girls from our school and two from another school in our district, came forward on either the news or as actual character witnesses Caesar put on the stand. All of the girls stated they’d either been inappropriately propositioned or touched by Cato in some way by him.

One girl in particular stated that Cato took her to the very teachers lounge I was assaulted in. He began telling her that he was an office aid and could do whatever he wanted at school. Then he started kissing her and when things were going too far for her, he wouldn’t let her up. If it wasn’t for it being during school hours and another aid trying to come in trough the locked door, she felt certain he would’ve gotten what he wanted whether she wanted to or not.

The defense had a field day with how convenient the timing was for these girls to show up now that it could land them on TV. But the girl’s testimony about the teachers lounge matched up with rumors about Cato getting caught in the teacher’s lounge that many other people could and would testify to.

Cato Johnson is found guilty on all counts. He is tried as an adult because his 18th birthday was only three days away.

The day we are scheduled to hear the sentencing, I wake up emotionally drained, exhausted from lack of sleep, and nauseous. I call Peeta.

“It’s ok just keep breathing. It’s almost over, then you never have to see him again.” Peeta reassures me.

“I know but Snow’s still out there somewhere.” I say feeling more and more queasy.

“Katniss, I will never let him hurt you again. You understand that?” Peeta promises.

“Yes but- Ugh…” I start but drop the phone… to vomit. After emptying my stomach, rinsing my mouth and picking up the phone, I hear Peeta yelling.

“Katniss! Are you ok? Should I call the police? Where’s your mom? Katni-”

“It’s okay. I had to throw up. I guess I’m nervous. I’ll see you at the courthouse.” I say.

“You sure? I could come over and-”

“No it’s alright. And thanks Peeta.” I say still feeling sick.

When Judge Paylor announces the Twenty-year sentence, in a state penitentiary, Cato cries. His father isn’t there. I heard he isn’t really in his life. His mother cries but holds her new husband, for support. Cato’s own Stepfather was a character witness against him. Stating Cato is an angry person. Who does drinks too much, smoke weed and has a problem with authority.

Most people, like Cesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith, look pleased with the sentence. My mom and Prim hug me as Peeta shakes Haymitch’s hand. When they take Cato away in hand cuffs, he looks into my eyes and all I see is hate.

Ugh! I must have the flu.

I haven’t told anyone about the throwing up or that it’s happened every morning since the sentencing. Not even Peeta. I see my graduation cap sitting on my bed and hope that I can make it through the ceremony without the rest of my breakfast making a reappearance.

“Katniss, can I borrow a pad?” Prim yells from the bathroom.

“Yeah, help yourself. They’re under the sink.” I call out.

“Thaaanks sis. You’re a lifesaver. Wait, is this the same box we bought you from…”

It takes me about thirty seconds to realize my sister is confused because, I shouldn’t have that many left.

Oh My God!

No! NO!

“Kat-” My sister stops in her tracks when she sees that I am slumped to the floor and hysterical.

“What’s wrong? Mooooom!” Prim yells and sits next to me on the floor putting her arms around me.

“Prim, what is it?” Mom says bursting into my room.

“I don’t know she… she just started crying and, I don’t know.” Prim cries.

I realize the gasps and wailing are coming from me and I pound the ground with my fist.

“No honey! Hold on to us! Breathe, Katniss!” Mom says grabbing my hands and hugs me tight to keep me from flailing round. “Prim what happened right before this? Did she see something or someone?”

“I don’t know. I was in the bathroom. I just asked her for a pad. I thought it was weird that she still has the same box we bought her from that day at the hospital. No one was here but me, mom.” Prim explains.

My sobs are a little quieter now.

Does she know?

“I see. Oh, Prim can you get your sister some Tylenol and a glass of water?” Mom asks efficiently sending her away.

“M…m… Mom! Mom? Why?” I bawl.

“Oh sweetie, I was afraid of this. I just thought maybe… maybe the odds were in our favor. I’m so sorry. It’s going to be okay. We can do, whatever you want to do. I know you planned on going to school and you have dreams and goals and. And… you don’t have to keep it. Or… or maybe we can find a good home…” She says trying to comfort me but actually causing renewed vigor to my tears.

I can’t be a mother right now!

How can I possibly carry that monster’s child?

Could I live with the decision to kill it?

Could I give a baby that’s half me, away?

Would I only see its father every time I look at it?

“You don’t have to decide today. You are graduating today. Try to focus on that and we’ll deal with this tomorrow, okay baby?” She says tears now falling down her cheeks.

At graduation, I’m a wreck. But I try to do what my mom asks and put it away until tomorrow. I walk across the stage and as I grab the hand of Mrs. Atala, I look into the sea of smiling faces for my family. I see someone in the crowd, a familiar face. Snow’s face… And then it’s black.

When I come too, Peeta, my mom, and two of the faculty are fanning programs in front of me. They’ve pulled me behind the stage. So they can continue the program.

“Katniss?” I hear my name.

He’s out there!

“Katniss, can you hear me?” Peeta calls gently.

Peeta, he came back! What does he want?

“Please wake up sweetie.” Mom sounds close tears again.

Someone stop him!

“S… Sn… Snow.” I say softly, feeling dizzy.

“Snow? It’s June honey.” A teacher says.

“Peeta, Snow is here.” I say again groggy but determined not to let him get away.

“Where, Katniss? In the crowd?” Peeta asks angrily.

I knew he would believe me.

I nod yes and try to sit up. Peeta takes off running. My mom finally connecting the dots gets her phone, to call the police.

Peeta searches the crowd but never sees anyone with white hair. I explain what happened to the police. They have to continue the rest of the ceremony. There are too many people to stop and question.

Bastard! He got away again!

“He knew he could slip in and out of this crowd. He just wants to scare you Katniss. Don’t worry. Okay?” Peeta tries to reassure me.

Then against everyone’s advice, I opt to not go to the hospital and stay after, to take pictures and say goodbye to some friends.

Marvel got a scholarship to a school in Arizona. Blight is joining the military. Navy, I think. Thresh is going to college in here California but closer to Los Angeles.

Finnick is going to take a year off to travel Europe. Fully funded by his wealthy parents. Somehow, Annie’s guardian, her grandmother, whom we call Mags, is letting her go with Finn, or maybe because Mags totally loves him.

BeeTee and Wiress both being brainiacs, got accepted to Harvard. But they both turned them down to go to MIT. Which I think is funny and sad, seeing as how both schools are in Boston, but that means that they are both going so far away.

Thom got a full ride to Howard University. He’s the first one in his family to go to college. He’s planning on joining the Omega Psi Phi or “Q Dogs” as he calls them. It has been his dream since he was little to go there.

Howard is in D.C. six hours from where Delly is supposed to go. Her SAT’s scores were one of the highest in the county. We are all very proud. It’s Delly’s parents that want her to go to Yale. She also got accepted to Brown, Duke, and Howard.

She tried to convince her parents to let her go to Howard, but they said absolutely not. They said that she wasn’t going to follow her high school crush, to a “black college” to throw her life away.

Delly’s dad yelled at her to grow up and do as she’s told. She told them Thom is not her crush. He’s her soul mate and they were going to find a way to be together, there’s nothing they could do to stop her.

Peeta told me he applied to several schools. Got accepted to his third and fourth choice, both out of state. But he said that he really wants to take over his family’s bakery someday. So he thinks he might just go to school for business at a local school and stay close to home.

I have to admit, I was selfishly glad to hear this at first. I guess, I really thought that one day, when we were better, maybe he would ask me on that date. He said he would but now that I’m in the situation I find myself. Part of me hopes he’ll go away to school and find a nice girl. I feel like no matter what I choose to do about this baby. It’s like I’m damaged goods and as much as I was trying to forget that. I can’t. And Peeta deserves better.

Then again maybe I should leave. I’m always going to be known here, as the girl who was raped at her Prom. I feel so exposed here.

Vulnerable.

Stupid.

Weak.

Things I never thought I was.

Haymitch get’s a call from his friend at the police, saying that they’re doing what they can to look for Snow. He doesn’t want me alone for the rest of the night, just to be safe.

After saying goodbye to all my other friends, Peeta invites us to eat dinner with his family. I’m not sure if we should, but after the long day, I am really hungry.

We go to a restaurant in Peeta’s part of town. I worry it is too expensive but, Haymitch tells us it’s taken care of on the drive there.

“Call it a graduation gift, Sweetheart.” The old man mumbles.

We meet Peeta’s dad and mom and two brothers. Apparently, my mom and Peeta’s dad knew each other in high school. Peeta’s mom doesn’t say much but she seems pleasant enough.

His brothers are very nice and joke with Prim and Peeta about having the same true blue eyes. Peeta’s oldest brother Graham has light brown eyes like his mother. And the middle Mellark, Ryan, has a lighter blue-grey ones like Peeta’s dad.

I’m pretty quiet. I’m still a little freaked out by this morning’s revelation and then seeing Snow’s face. I don’t eat all my food. I excuse myself to the bathroom.

In the bathroom, after washing my hands, I bump into Peeta’s mom.

“Oh, hey Mrs. Mellark. Sorry, I didn’t see you.” I say apologetically.

“It’s fine. You and my son have become very close friends.” She says.

I’m not sure if it’s meant to be a question or a statement. So I just smile and shrug.

“Yes… he… he’s been there for me through all of this and I hope that he knows how much I appreciate him… for all he’s done.” I try to relate.

“Yes. He is a sweet boy and generous to a fault. I just hope… if you’re his friend… you wouldn’t try to hold him back, now would you?” She asks.

“No, I would never… what do you mean?” I ask.

I’m so confused. Did he say something?

“Peeta needs to fulfill his destiny. He should be going to school. But I fear that he is so worried about you. You see, I don’t think he wants to leave you, maybe out of some sense of obligation. And I’m sure you had things you wanted to do, before this unfortunate event. So I just think, if you truly care about him. Like I think you do, you’d tell him to live his life to it’s full potential. As if he would’ve before… this. So you can both go on and find happiness. You understand, right dear?” Mrs. Mellark tells me.

She has the tone you use to tell your kids their goldfish died.

He doesn’t want to leave me?

But I’d be holding him back.

Does he feel obligated to me?

My head is spinning. I guess I’ve been rationalizing the same things she’s telling me. But I find myself already missing Peeta from my life.

I wish I could go back…

Back in time and tell Cato no to Prom…

And that Peeta would’ve asked me instead.

And that we… we…

Oh, who am I kidding?

I’d still be from the wrong side of the tracks.

I’ll always be holding Peeta back.

“I understand. I just want Peeta to be happy.” I answer.

“I always knew you were a good girl. Thank you for being such a good friend to my boy, looking out for his best interest. You have to find your destiny too.” She says and hugs me but I feel like I might cry.

My destiny?

I don’t think I have one anymore.

I let go and walk back to the table and whisper to my mom I’d like to go soon.

“Hey everything ok?” Peeta asks me quietly outside the restaurant.

“Uh… Yeah I. I’m fine just tired and.” I trail off not knowing what else to say.

“Ok. Well can I text you later? I was hoping we could talk alone but, with everyone here.” He says quieter and smiles.

I’ve come to crave that smile.

It brightens my day like few things can.

“Okay just wait till nine. I should be home by then.” I whisper not looking him in the eyes.

I want to tell him goodbye then. It’s better if I let him go with a clean break. But I can’t deny him anything. I owe him too much. And I know it’ll start a conversation we shouldn’t have in front of everyone.

Peeta hugs me before I leave and I hold on for a little too long.

“You sure you’re alright?” He asks softly in my ear.

I’m gonna miss you.

Your safe hugs.

Your kind eyes.

Your friendship.

“Yeah. I’m good just tired like I said.” I lie.

When Haymitch drops us off he says a black and white is patrolling the area. And if we hear anything suspicious don’t hesitate to call the police or him.

We thank him again and say goodnight. I go to my room and right on time, I get a text from Peeta.

Peeta- Hey so thanks for coming to dinner. I know it was a stressful day.

Katniss- More than you realize. But it’s no problem. I liked your family.

Peeta- Thank you for saying that. So I’ve been thinking a lot about what to do now that I’m out of high school. How about you?

Without even thinking, I text…

Katniss- I’m going away to school soon.

Peeta- Really?

Katniss- Yeah, I got accepted to a music school. I write music. Well I used to. And I need to get away from this town and everyone in it. I have such bad memories here, from my Dad to Prom. I don’t feel like myself anymore since, what happened. I need to get back to what I loved. That’s music and my family. And I don’t want to have to look over my shoulder for Snow. He already occupies a lot of my nightmares. You should get away too. If that’s what you want.

Peeta- Oh. I didn’t know you felt that way. But I guess understand. That’s great that you got accepted to a music school! I’m happy for you. Where is the school?

I don’t answer.

Peeta- Katniss?

Katniss- Peeta, I care about you. Thank you for all you’ve done. Most people wouldn’t have. You are a special person. You should go to school. Make new friends and don’t let what happen to me, hold you back. I just want us both to heal and move on. I have so much on my plate right now and I need to get away and distance myself from what happen to me. Fresh start. You can stop worrying about me.

Peeta- Katniss, where is this coming from? You’ve helped me just as much as I’ve helped you. I know you have a lot on your plate and you deserve a fresh start. But don’t you want to be friends anymore? You don’t want me to know where you’ll be?

Katniss- It’s hard for me to look at you and not remember what we’ve been through. I just need time. To figure out what I need. I think you should just let me go.

Peeta- So that’s it? This is goodbye?

Katniss- I guess so. I will always remember your friendship.

Peeta- It will always be yours. Always.

It will always be mine.

Be mine.

After a shower and a cup of tea my mom made me, I finally decide to talk about the baby. Prim goes to bed and my mom sits down and hugs me.

“Mom. I didn’t even think I wanted kids. I can’t have Cato’s baby.” I start.

“I know you feel that way because of how much you’ve had to raise your sister, but if you go through with… not having it. You need to be prepared, emotionally for that. I’ve looked up some things and left pamphlets on your bed. Plus there is always adoption.” She states.

“I wasn’t finished. I can’t have Cato’s baby. But… I don’t know if I can just get rid of a baby, who didn’t ask to be here. It didn’t do anything wrong and I am the one to blame. I made the stupid mistakes that led up to its existence. I just don’t want to ever think of it as Cato’s baby, because it isn’t his. It’s mine.” I say.

Peeta is right.

It will always be… mine.

“Oh Katniss, you didn’t do anything wrong either. It is your baby. And that’s okay with me. I’m very proud that you made this decision with such maturity. I will try and support you however I can.” Mom says.

We hug and she says she will make an appointment for me to see an Ob/Gyn. Tears silently fall but I’m much more composed than earlier.

I’m having a baby.

A month and a half later, Rue doesn’t come home from the store. Her mom sent her at four in the afternoon, and at six she calls our house, thinking maybe she just got caught up with Prim.

“No, Miss Rooba. I haven’t seen her since this morning. Yes. Did you text her?” Prim says.

“Prim what is it?” I whisper, she shakes her head and keeps talking.

“Ok. Yes mam’. I’ll let you know. Bye. That was Rue’s mom she can’t find her. I’m gonna text Vic he probably knows where she is.” Prim says but she sounds a little worried.

“You think she’s with Vic?” I ask.

“She’s not answering texts or calls.” Prim says.

There’s a familiar car screech outside. Then banging in the front door.

Bam! Bam! Bam!

“Catnip!” Gale shouts.

We let him in and following behind him is Vic, Rory, his little sister Posy. Then from down the street come Thom and Jo holding little C.J.

“What’s going on?” I say freaking out.

“I came to make sure Rue wasn’t here and ask if you’d seen Vic. But I saw him in the car as Gale drove down the street.” Thom tells us.

Jo nods in agreement.

“Okay, what are you doing here?” I ask Gale.

“It’s me… I wanted to come.” Vic speaks up.

“You know where Rue is?” Thom asks Vic angrily.

Vic has tears in his eyes and I feel sick.

“No… Not exactly. We… I’ve been texting her like all morning. She texted me she was going to the store. But then, she said that she thought someone was following her, so she said I should go to her house if I didn’t hear back from her in 15 minutes. But I fell asleep!” Vic starts crying.

“What time was it? Let me see your phone.” Jo says and I grab the sleeping toddler from her.

“It was 4:10 and he fell asleep and then woke up to an unfinished text. At 5:55 he showed it to me. Rory just got Prim’s text about Rue not being home yet so we rushed over here.” Gale says.

Rue where are you?

“What does the unfinished text say?” I ask.

Gale looks at me.

“Vic, I’m scared. I luv u and fam. Tell Kat he died? It stops there.” Jo says and then it’s eerily quiet.

Who died?

“Call the police now!” Thom yells.

“Kat?”

“No. I don’t know who he is or who died.” I respond to Gale.

“But why did she spell it d, y, e anyway. She’s so good at spelling.” Vic says still crying.

Dyed?

“Hello? I think my sister was kidnapped! No she was walking home from the store. No she wouldn’t run away and all her friends can’t find her. My mom is driving around looking for her right now. But-” Thom takes the phone outside.

“I’m going to the store to see if anyone saw her.” Gale says.

“I’m going with you!” Prim shouts.

“Me too!” Both younger Hawthorne boys say at the same time.

This can’t be happening.

“Please find her, Gale.” Jo says taking C.J. back and sits down.

“Leave Posy with us. Just go.” I say.

After they leave I call Haymitch.

“Ok, Sweetheart. I got it you don’t want Coin on it cause she rubs you wrong. I’ll get my friend Boggs. Tell Thom to take a recent picture to the station. He and his mom need to fill out missing person forms and we’ll try to get an Amber Alert out. How many hours has it been?” Haymitch says after I explained everything to him.

“About two and a half hours. Haymitch do you think this was…” I ask.

“No need in jumping the gun here. Let’s get more facts. Have you called… Golden boy? He could help you. At least for support.” Haymitch asks.

He means Peeta.

“He needs to get ready to leave for college Haymitch. Not get dragged into more of my problems. We haven’t spoken since graduation night.” I say sadly.

“You could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve that boy. Don’t you get it, girl? He wants to be by your side.” He fusses at me.

“Haymitch we don’t have time for this right now, okay?” I yell and hang up.

He won’t want to be by my side.

Not when I’m 9 months pregnant with someone else’s baby.

My phone rings.

“Catnip, so I’ve been asking around and Rue came in the store. Bought ketchup. And looked at a magazine for a couple of minutes then left. Who ever followed her was probably in the store. She walked to the corner and then turned like she was taking the short cut home. Even though Vic says her mom doesn’t like her to because of the cars going fast and she’d have to cross with no cross walk.”

“But Gale how could someone take her without anyone noticing? And how do you know she went that way-”

“Katniss, we just found the ketchup. It was in the park.” He says.

I hear Vic and Rory yelling and then wind.

“She crossed the street and then probably started running cause the bag has a rip. It’s farther away from the bottle but her receipt is in it. Dammit! He took her from the Park!” Gale says out of breath.

God please let her be okay.

“Oh God. Okay, I’ll call you back.” I end tears falling down my face.

“What is it?” Jo asks.

“Has Rue ever said anything about being followed ever before?”

“No.” I say.

“Do you know who would want to hurt her?”

He wants to hurt me.

“No.” I say.

“Had she always seemed like a happy kid or would she maybe want to get away from her family for any reason?”

You’re wasting time. It was Snow!

“No. She is happy and wouldn’t run away.” I say.

“Ok your done. Sign here.” Officer Lyme tells me.

After another two hours have passed, we’re all simultaneously, being questioned by officers, outside of Rue’s house.

“I already told you. No one would want to hurt my little sister, Man!” Thom shouts frustratedly.

Even with help from Boggs, they have to wait for approval to put out the Amber Alert. Apparently, because we don’t have a name, or description of who took her, also, because she is 14 instead of 2-10 year old? This is supposedly based on the “best judgment” approach.

So they’ve sent out uniforms to get info from us to question the store workers, the passers by at the time of the incident, and to look for more clues.

Since my neighborhood is crawling with cops, the news vans are back once again. Setting up camp exactly one hundred yards from where I’m sitting.

The reporters have already found out we think Rue was taken. I could say I’m upset, but because we don’t have an Amber Alert, they are actually proving themselves useful for something.

“Katniss! Katniss Everdeen! Effie Trinket, with channel 9 news. Can you tell us how you feel after everything you’ve been through, to now have a dear friend, abducted? Do you think it is the handy work of the elusive "Snow” character you keep claiming helped your own attacker?“ Effie yells at me from behind yellow caution tape.

"Shut up Effie.” Haymitch says pushing past her.

“Manners! Really Abernathy!” Effie shrieks at him.

Wonder how they know each other.

Haymitch shows the police officer his badge and they let him through.

“Hey, Look lady. My mom has my son in the house and he needs me, so could you hurry these questions along.” I hear Jo fussing at her questioning Officer, in the background.

They finished questioning Gale and Rory and Prim so I asked them to take Prim to their house. Thom and I just finished. I said I would stay with Vic till he was done. Haymitch went into my house to make some calls. My mom came home as soon as she heard, and is inside with Thom and Rooba.

“Ok, so you say that she had a feeling someone was following her, but she didn’t seem scared at first? Right?” Officer Jackson is taking Vic’s statement.

“Yeah, it seemed like she just wanted someone to know. Because, I think if she was scared at that point, she would have texted her brother to come get her or asked me to ask my brother to pick her up. But she maybe started getting closer to home and got scared for some reason, so she took the short cut and started running once she hit the park. She was almost home. She probably just thought she could make it.” Vic says.

Damn! She was so close.

“But then her other text. Makes it seem like she knew the person. So do you think it’s at all possible she is pulling a prank on you? Have you been in any fights lately?” Jackson asks.

“Mam’ I know your son is waiting. And I have family at home too. So the quicker we get through these questions. The quicker I can get outta your hair.” Officer Holmes is taking Jo’s statement and clearly both women are frustrated.

I’m siting in between the two questionings on the curb. Trying to think who died.

What are you trying to tell me Rue?

“No, man. We never fight. I haven’t even told her yet, but I love her. She’s been stressed lately cause Jo keeps getting phone calls from Cori, her baby’s daddy. He said he’s coming and wants to see his son. Plus it was freaking them out because he threatened Jo before about taken C.J. But other than that, she’s been the same.” Vic says.

Cori threatened to take C.J?

“Ok, so like I said yesterday C.J’s dad called and he said meet him around the corner. So I asked her to watch C.J. She rolled her eyes but she wasn’t upset, upset. She just worries about us. We talked after and she was fine.” Jo says.

Cori was around the corner yesterday?

“Calm down, Vic. We aren’t giving up ok?” Jackson says.

“He’s 6'2, light blond hair…” Jo says.

“If anything else comes to you just let us know.” Jackson says.

“No wait, he had blond hair but he dyed it for some reason, but he…”

He dyed it?

“Jo!” I yell.

“What?”

“He Dyed It! She was gonna put he dyed his hair!! Oh my god!” I cry.

Coriolanus. That was the boy who got teased in school! They called him SNOW!

“Cori took her! Cori took Rue!”

•••••••••••••••••

I’m barely able to control myself. I’m shaking with anger. I want to run and go find her now.

Jackson and Holmes just stare at me.

“What?” Vic says.

“Why would he? How do you know…?” Jo says.

Then she gets a far off look in her eyes. It’s hitting her that she seen the sketch of my description of snow and she once thought it looked kinda like him but the hair was too long and he only ever went by Cori with her.

Just then, Haymitch comes out saying the store has tapes from this afternoon and maybe we can find who ever took her. I tell him about Snow and Cori being the same person. I tell Vic to run and tell my mom and Rooba.

"I’m going to the police station with Jo. We are the only two who can identify him as the same person.” I tell Gale on the phone.

“Okay we’ll go to Rue’s and wait for you guys but Katniss? Be careful. Maybe you should call-” Gale says.

“Don’t… Say it. I’m letting him go. Just… please. Let me try to let him go.” I cut him off before he can say Peeta’s name.

“Fine. But he might be able to help and if it means finding Rue quicker.” Gale points out.

Damn you Gale!

“Fine. Just take care of them Gale, till we get back. He’s still out there.” I say frustrated.

“Okay. Your mom says all of you be careful.” He says and hangs up.

She means me, Jo and… her unborn grandchild.

We get in Haymitch’s car and I call Peeta’s phone. It goes straight to voicemail. So, I try texting him. But I still haven’t gotten an answer once we’ve pulled into the station.

“Boggs this is Katniss and Jo. They have both seen this guy. One as Snow and one as Cori.” Haymitch introduces us.

“Okay, to start with, do either of you know his last name and last known address?” Boggs asks.

“No, I don’t but he went to school with me so it could be in the yearbook.” I say.

“I… I don’t know it either.” Jo says ashamed.

No wonder C.J doesn’t have his last name.

“I met him in L.A. I didn’t even know he was from here. So the only address I have, is from there.” She continues.

“Alright, let’s get a Elsinore High School Year book in here.” Boggs yells at I don’t know whom.

“Let me show you girls the store tape.” Officer Holmes says taking us to another office.

After watching ten minutes of four blocked, black and white, fuzzy, footage, we see Rue going in the front. She gets ketchup pays for it. Stops at the magazines for a minute and then walks out.

“Wait, wait. Go back a little.” Jo says pointing at the screen.

Jackson rewinds it.

“There! Cori had on that same black hoodie when he came to see me.” Jo says.

We finish watching the tape the guy follows Rue out of the store. His hoodie is up going in and out so we don’t get a clear shot of his face.

“How could you tell?” I ask.

“The hoodie has a white rose spray painted on the back with some R.I.P and somebody’s graffiti type name.” Jo says.

“Ok. Very good that’s a clear clothes I.D of him; being at the last place she was seen. Now it still could be a coincidence that Cori took Rue, for whatever reason. So we need proof Snow and Cori are the same person.” Jackson says and takes out the tape and puts it in an evidence bag.

I still haven’t heard back from Peeta. Impatient, I call the bakery. His brother Graham picks up.

“Mellark’s bakery. You need hot buns? We got em’. Ouch, Ma! How can I help you?” Graham says clearly having been popped for playing.

“Hey Graham it’s Katniss have you seen-” I start but he cuts me off.

“Ooooh Ryan is looking for you two. He’s pissed Peet hasn’t brought his car back yet.” Graham says.

Looking for us two?

“Oh! Uh… Peeta isn’t with me. Did he say he would be? Haven’t you seen the news?” I ask.

“Yeah he said he had to use Ry’s car to see you and show you something important, and no to the news. We don’t have a T.V in here but I get off and 9:00, when we close. Why?” He asks.

Show me something important? About Snow?

“Rue Mason was kidnapped today at around 4:30 walking back from the store and after a bunch of questioning we figured out it was Joanna’s baby daddy and we think he is Snow. But I haven’t seen Peeta and now I’m worried. He won’t answer his phone.” I tell Graham.

“Shit! Are you serious? Ok look, he took Ry’s car. It has On Star. Ask the police to highjack it or whatever they do to find it. I’m gonna tell my parents. Here, take down my cell phone so you can keep us informed.” Graham says.

“Thanks. Ok.”

After I store his number. And tell Jo and Haymitch what he just told me. Boggs decides that although we are worried about Peeta he hasn’t been missing long enough to cause alarm. So unless we find a link between Cori and Snow and Rue being missing to Peeta being, possibly missing, they are four separate things.

“Fuck that!” Jo yells and slams a desk.

“Calm down! Let’s think.” Haymitch chastises her.

“Ok so can I look up yearbooks online? Jo does Cori have a MySpace or a… a face space?” Jackson asks.

“It’s Facebook. And no. Not that I know of. The number he’s been calling me on is out of service. And the other cop, Holmes ran the plate of the car I saw him get out of. It was stolen and found empty already.” Jo says exasperated.

How the hell did he get Rue to where he took her? Un-noticed, on foot?

“I don’t even know if he went to Elsinore High. I saw him when I was in middle school he was in 8th grade when I was in 6th. That means we need the David A. Brown Middle school year book.” I say also aggravated at our seemingly dead end.

“I know it feels hopeless but the Amber Alert is out with Rue’s picture and Cori’s description and we need to breathe and look through these pictures.” Jackson says.

Okay stay calm and breathe.

God I’m nauseous.

“Thank God! You found the online middle school yearbook.” Jo says.

I text Gale what’s happening with Peeta and the case. So the family is up to speed.

Gale texts me back that he remembers a Cori in his class in middle school. Mr. Leeg’s class specifically, possibly married to my old teacher Mrs. Leeg. It was very helpful. After what seemed like hours…

“That’s him! Coriolanus Thread!” I say pointing at his picture.

“Yeah that’s Cori just younger.” Jo says.

“I knew it.” I say.

Please let Rue and Peeta be ok.

“So we can go to his house and get Rue right?” Jo asks impatiently.

“Okay ladies. Your work is done thank you. We’ll keep you posted as to our investigation.” Coin is standing at the doorway to the office and all of us appear shocked at her presence.

“Well I… we still need to find Peeta.” I say.

“Yes, well in 48 hours if he hasn’t returned, his folks can fill out a missing persons form but you can go home for now. Jackson you’ll escort them home won’t you?” Coin says and I get the feeling she wants us gone.

What is up your ass lady?

“Uh, let’s get you two home then.” Jackson says.

“Haymitch where were you when the dragon lady snuck up on us?” I say kicking his foot.

He fell asleep on a bench beside the vending machine while we looked at the yearbook pictures.

Ugh! And he smells like whiskey.

“What? Who?” Haymitch grumbles but sits up.

“Great brainless! Now your drunk ass can’t drive us home.” Jo says to Haymitch.

He burps. Then Jackson comes over and gathers all the statements and evidence for Rue and Snow/Cori. He puts it in a box. And puts it on his desk.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s been around a long time. He will continue to be around and drink and win cases. Why don’t I get Officer Messalla here to help me drive you all home?” Jackson says.

Messalla smiles at Jackson and says it would be her pleasure. I go in Jackson’s car with Holmes. Jo and Haymitch follow in the car with Messalla and her partner Officer Mitchell.

“Jackson? What if Peeta went looking for Sn- Cori and he got him too?” I ask.

“Well, we don’t know that Peeta did that.” He says.

“Yeah but his brothers car has OnStar if they reported it stolen then you’d have to look for it right?” I ask.

Little does he know, 15 minutes ago, I asked Graham to do that very thing.

“Yes, but Katniss, I’m not about to go looking for it right now with you in the-”

“Be advised. We’ve got a possible 10-16. Dark Blue Chevy Malibu, license number. November-8-Romeo-Yankee-Delta-Romeo. OnStar Navigational says last pinged 1730. It’s located at…” Dispatch says through the car radio.

Yes! Thank you Graham.

“N8RYDR? What is that?” Jackson asks.

“Night Rider.” I say pleased with myself for thinking of the plan and figuring out the license plate.

“Hey uh, Jackson, that address is pretty close. We could check it out real quick.” Messalla’s voice comes through the radio.

“Katniss. You did that didn’t you?” Jackson accuses.

“Jackson, I know they are connected. Please?” I beg.

Meanwhile, in the car behind us, Jo is telling Haymitch why we got kicked out so fast.

“So Coin basically said we no longer need your services. Even though, without you girls they’d have precisely Bubkis? That about right? So what did you two find in the online yearbook?” Haymitch asks her.

“That his last name is Thread.” Jo says.

“Did you say Tread or Thread? As in Romulus Thread.” Haymitch asks.

“T-H-R-E-A-D. Why-”

“Yo, coppers we need to turn this thing around! Now!” Haymitch yells at Messalla and Mitchell.

“What the hell, Haymitch?” Jo yells.

“Hey sir! Calm down, we’re about to investigate The Mellark’s stolen car that Katniss was so eager to find.” Messalla says.

“Jo, do you have a phone?” Haymitch asks her.

“Yeah old man. Are you still drunk?” Jo says.

“Boggs guess what your perps last name is? Thread. Yeah like Romulus Thread. No, I don’t know if she knows just make sure she doesn’t leave.

"Okay, Katniss we are now conducting a ride along. That means you are going with us to check out the stolen vehicle but you are to stay in the car. For all we know Peeta is just with his girlfriend or something.” Jackson says.

Ouch! Why does that sting so bad?

“He doesn’t have a girlfriend.” I mumble under my breath.

Jo texts me that Haymitch said Romulus Thread was Alma Coins Father and ex Chief of Police.

Is Snow related to her?

“Jackson! Alma Coin is Romulus Threads daughter. Why does Cori have the same last name as her father?” I ask.

“Come to think of it. Alma is married, now. So, she could have her husbands last name.” Holmes offers up.

I text Gale with an update. My mom tells him to tell us to come home and let police handle it. Jo gets the same kind of text from Thom.

But Rue is out here and she needs us, and maybe Peeta too.

“Mess, Mitchell, you wanna check it out?” Jackson asks through his radio.

“10-4. We’re on it.” Messalla replies through the radio.

We pull up the address. I can’t see Ry’s car and I’m scared about why it’s here in the first place.

We’re in a poorly lit area and there’s a long driveway leading to a decent sized house. The house only has one light on upstairs. The houses on either side are at least half an acre away. There are a few trees in the surrounding area.

“Katniss can you call Peeta and see if the phone rings?” Jackson asks me.

I do and it rings until it goes to voicemail again. But we see a small blue light in the darkness on the side of the house.

Is Peeta’s phone here?

Where is he?

Is Rue here too?

“Okay M&M. Your up.” Jackson says into the radio.

“Is that your nickname for them?” I ask.

“Yeah, we call Messalla and Mitchell, Slim Shady or M&M. They call me and Holmes, Josh and Katey or Pacey and Joey. So fair is fair.” She says.

“Who? Are those your first names?” I ask.

“Really you’ve never heard of Dawson’s Creek, kid? I keep forgetting how young y-” Holmes is cut off by the radio.

“J, this is the right car but it’s empty. I can hear someone shouting in the house. Should we knock and ask about the vehicle or treat the situation with caution?” Messalla asks almost whispering.

I can’t breathe.

Who’s shouting?

“No don’t knock. Just head back to your car and-"Jackson starts.

"S- someone is coming out if the house we are hiding behind the car. Going silent.” Messalla whispers and then there’s no noise.

“Shit!” Holmes says.

“Katniss I’m going to let you out to go to the other car with Haymitch and Joanna. We have to go back up our officers.” Jackson tells me.

He gets out, opens my door and I run to the car about ten feet behind the one I got out of. When I look back Jackson and Holmes are gone.

“Open the door brainless.” Jo says.

“Now, I know you want to run over there and endanger your life, Sweetheart. But you sit your ass down.” Haymitch tells me.

Jo and I sit on the trunk of the car. Feeling anxious and helpless and hyper aware of my surroundings I see lights coming down the road and tap Jo. She sees it too.

“Haymitch get out of the car.” I whisper.

We close the door quietly and hide behind some trees until the car passes.

“Put your hands up and get on the ground!” Holmes shouts from close to the house.

“Coriolanus! Get in the house!”

“Damn if that didn’t sound like Coin.” Haymitch says.

We start moving closer to the house trying to hide in the shadows.

“Excuse us, Detective Coin, but that man is wanted for questioning. Because this car was reported stolen less than an hour ago and we think he may be the same perp that assisted in the Everdeen rape. So he needs to come with us.” Jackson states as calmly as he can.

“Help!”

“Hey we’re in here!”

“Mess check out the basement!” Holmes yells after hearing two voices coming from under the house.

Rue and Peeta?

Pop! Pop!

“Mitchell!” Messalla screams.

“Stop! Now!” Holmes shouts.

“Lower your weapon Jackson!” Coin yells.

“You lower your weapon! You just shot a fellow officer!” Jackson yells back.

“We have an officer down at 736 Capitol Way. Requesting an ambulance… and back up.”

“What do you want to do Coin? Cori is in handcuffs. You just shot and officer and there are three guns on you. Is this worth it?” Jackson tries to reason with her.

“He’s my son alright! Would it be worth it to you?” Coin says.

Her son?

Jo gasps next to me. It all makes sense now. If Snow is really Cato’s cousin, that means he’s her nephew. No wonder she treated me that way in the hospital when we first met. I told her, her nephew and her son, however inadvertently, raped me.

“Coin, we don’t want anymore blood shed here tonight. What can we do to make that happen?” Jackson negotiates.

There is a loud bang in the house the stomping up stairs and another bang. Followed by the front door opening.

“Let my son go.” Coin orders.

“You know I can’t do that.” Jackson says.

Then I see them. First Rue. Then Peeta.

They’re alive.

Haymitch grabs both Jo and I’s mouth. Good thing cause we both let out muffled screams.

“Shh! You have to be quiet! We may be the only witnesses to this scene.” Haymitch whispers.

We both shake our heads in agreement. So he lets go.

Sirens are headed towards us.

Pop!

Coin shot Jackson!

He falls down. More shots are fired. Holmes shoots Coin in the shoulder. Messalla shoots Coin in the knee.

A shot must go into Peeta and Rues direction toward the house, because Peeta covers Rue and then slumps down to the ground.

Peeta!

Somehow in the shuffle Cori must’ve gotten away. I feel dizzy. They have to catch him.

When will this nightmare end?

Coin is lying on the ground. Jackson gets her gun away from her and starts reading Coin her rights. The ambulance is coming down the driveway. Messalla leaves Mitchell to check on Jackson.

I can’t help it anymore. I run to Peeta and Rue. Jo’s hot on my heels.

“Rue!” Jo calls.

“Jo! Katniss!” Rue cries.

She’s ok!

But Peeta isn’t moving.

“Peeta! Peeta can you hear me?” I yell.

“He saved me.” Rue cries into Jo’s shoulder.

“Peeta? Please be okay.” I say my tears falling onto him.

I lean close to him but try not to crush him. I feel his neck for a pulse. His heart is beating. I check his arms and chest for bullet holes.

“It’s his leg. His leg is bleeding. He’ll be ok right?” Rue asks in a small voice.

“Did that bastard hurt you?” Jo asks Rue.

“No. Peeta wouldn’t let him.” Rue says.

How long was Peeta with her?

“Excuse me miss. Is he hurt?” A paramedic asks me.

“Yes. His name is Peeta Mellark.” I say crying.

I move and let the paramedics do there job. They cart away Mitchell, Jackson, Coin and Peeta. They check Rue. But she’s relatively fine. Messalla and Holmes drive Haymitch, Jo, Rue, and I home.

“I’m sorry he got away again.” Holmes tells me holding it together better than I am.

“I’m sorry about Jackson.” I tell her.

The nightmares I faced last night were the worst I’ve ever had. First, Prim comes in and holds me till I fall back asleep. Then when I scream the second time, mom comes in and lays beside us both.

I stay somewhere between drifting back to sleep and startling myself back awake for the rest of the night. Not to mention having to get up to go pee every two hours or so.

Thanks to mom. I haven’t had as much nausea. She gives me ginger candies to suck on and peppermint tea.

Being pregnant is not without its challenges, but a lot of the time I forget about it until I’m starving or something that used to fit feels irritatingly tight on my lower abdomen. Most of my clothes were always a little baggy though, so no one has noticed anything.

I decide to go see Peeta in the morning. Plus, I want to check on Jackson and Mitchell too. We stop to check on Rue and the family first.

Rue was shaken up but relatively unharmed. We told her how her text message helped us figure out who Snow was. She was as glad as she could be still worrying about Peeta’s injury.

“You really should thank Peeta for his part as well.” Rue tells me.

“Yeah, if he hadn’t gone looking for Snow. We couldn’t have tracked his car to Rue.” Thom says.

“And not to mention Detective Catnip here.” Gale chimes in.

“No really. It was everyone’s effort. Without Jo and Vic I would never have figured out the connection with Snow and Cori. Without Officer Jackson and Holmes, and Messalla, and Mitchell. Coin would have gotten away with covering the whole thing up.” I say still shocked at the events that transpired.

“Hey everybody. Breakfast is ready.” Rooba calls in a voice that we’ve all become accustom to.

Rooba’s blessing over the meal this morning was filled with extra gratefulness to have her daughter was back home safe, well wishes for our families. Also, with hope that Jackson, Mitchell and Peeta recover fast and faith that Cori will be caught and brought to justice for all his crimes.

After we all eat. My mom and I head to the hospital. Unfortunately so has every news reporter in the state it seems.

Boggs called a press conference. As we walk up we see the Mellark family and Holmes and Messalla.

They’re explaining that Coin was apprehended. That with the work of the fine officers involved, they saved Rue and Peeta from Coriolanus Thread, who is indeed the very same rape accomplice, Snow. But that he regrettably got away. They ask if anyone knows his whereabouts to please contact their local authorities.

They mention how heroic Peeta was, and say he was badly hurt but should make a full recovery. Lieutenant Castor Jackson is in critical condition. Officer Pollux Mitchell died of his injuries just an hour ago.

Mitchell’s family comes to the podium and speaks. Next to say a few words is Jackson’s sister. Then finally, Peeta’s dad. I, along with probably most of America, shed a few tears at the things said about these brave men. And Peeta gets included in their honored and distinguished band.

I sneak into the hospital and tip toe in to Jackson’s wing. I get a glimpse of him through a door; before a nurse tells me I can’t be in here, unless I’m family. She recognized me though and tells me she’ll keep my mom informed of his progress. I thank her and leave.

You can survive this Jackson.

I ask one of the officers on guard where Coin is being held. Once they tell me, my feet involuntarily go in the direction of her room. When I get to her room, she has a bandage on her shoulder and she’s handcuffed to the bed by her hands and feet. But she is awake.

“What do you want?” She spits.

To know how you could protect him.

“You knew your son was involved in my rape, didn’t you?” I ask.

“No. He didn’t rape you. My son wouldn’t do that.” She deflates at the end and starts crying.

Holmes comes in, “Katniss you shouldn’t be in here. Peeta is asking for you.”

Coin chuckles at me, through her tears.

“You know, they were heavily into drugs. And Jo says that’s why she broke up with Cori and didn’t even tell him about the baby at first. Not that it excuses their behavior. But maybe they were good kids, once. But can’t you see that he has changed, and isn’t a good person anymore?” I ask to Coin angered by her disregard.

“Oh, shut up you bitch! You don’t know what it’s like to have a child and raise them. For them to, turn on you. Act like you’re the enemy. He went to go live with his father and stopped calling and coming to visit. But he’s still my son. He just needed help and now he could be dead somewhere!” She screams at me.

“Yes or he could be planning to kill someone! He’s not stable. Kidnapping a helpless little girl, and threatening the mother of his child? Come on Alma, he needs to be in custody. Tell us where he is. Please before it’s too late.” Holmes says to Coin.

Coin starts cursing and yelling, “Wait and see! Just wait and see! You bitch!” While pulling her arms up and failing around. Holmes takes me out of there and nurses rush in to sedate Coin.

“Katniss, what were you thinking going in there?” Holmes asks me as we walk to Peeta’s room.

“I don’t know. I just thought she had a human side and would be remorseful for everything. Mitchell’s dead because she shot him. And Jackson… According to Haymitch, she used to be a good cop. I wanted to believe there was good left in her, because maybe then, there could be good somewhere in Snow. He is out there and he could try to hurt my loved ones. I don’t want to feel like a victim to him anymore.” I admit.

“Then don’t. He doesn’t control that and he will get caught eventually. My guess is he got as far away from here as he could, to hide with his tail between his legs. And if he ever comes back we will be prepared. You can be too. Take some self-defense classes. Keep going to see that Dr. Aurelius. And keep your eyes open. You have really good instincts and you’re a smart girl. Don’t doubt that. Have faith in yourself.” Holmes tells me.

“Thanks. Do you think Jackson’s gonna pull through?” I ask.

“I think so. He’s a fighter, you know.” She says.

“Hey.” Peeta says as I walk into his room.

“Hey. How you feelin’?” I ask scared he hates me.

“Oh, you know. I feel shot in the leg.” He says and manages a small smile.

He’s okay. Don’t cry.

“I’m so sorry you were in that situation. But I shudder to think what could’ve happened to Rue, if you hadn’t been there.” I say trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

“She might’ve gotten away if not for me.” He says.

“What do you mean? She told us you saved her. More than once.” I dispute

“Well, I couldn’t let him hurt her. But before that, I got out my old middle school yearbook, to try and find the guy that got teased in school. I asked Ry to barrow his car. Even though you weren’t talking to me, I thought you’d want to see it. I was on my way to your house, when I saw Rue running through the park.” Peeta tells me.

“Oh My God! That’s how he took her without anyone seeing.” I gasp.

“Yeah, she saw me, ran to the car, started trying to explain that she thought someone was following her. Then he popped out from behind a tree with a gun. He grabbed her and said he’d shoot her if I didn’t do what he said. He made me get in the trunk. My phone was in the front of the car so I couldn’t call anyone. She later told me he took off his hoodie, put it on her, and pulled the hoodie over her face. He put her in the passenger seat and held the gun to her while he drove, telling her he’d shoot her if she tried anything funny. I think she started typing a text message while in the car with him, but she got scared and stopped. He drove us to the house you found us at, and I prepared to try and wrestle him when he opened the trunk. But he had Rue do it and held the gun to her head. I was scared he was gonna kill her just to get back at me for beating up Cato and testifying against him. I had no idea at first that he was C.J’s dad.” Peeta relays his story.

“How did she send the text then?” I ask.

“Once he got us inside. He had me duck tape Rue’s mouth and hands in front of her and then hit me on the head. I woke up in the basement and Rue was tied to a chair and my hands were tied behind my back. She couldn’t see that well because it was dark and she couldn’t look down because of how she was bound. But I’m guessing she typed the part about how she loved her family in the car. I could talk, but I threw up once and I was dizzy. The doctors are saying I had a concussion from Snow hitting me on my head. But I talked to Rue and I told her that the guy who took us was Snow he just cut and dyed his hair. She had hid the phone in her bra and wiggled until it fell down her shirt and she tried to text info to Vic. So he could get help and you could connect Snow as Cory. But we heard movement and she started to panic and pushed send before he came down. Then I turned around and grabbed it from her. We’re so dumb we should’ve called 911. I hid the phone behind me on the floor. He came in yelling about what a mess we made of everything and he called Jo some bad names. When he left I grabbed to phone and tried to give it back to Rue but she started crying cause the phone had died.” Peeta says.

“Peeta I’m so sorry. If I would’ve been in touch with you, we could’ve met somewhere. Maybe you wouldn’t have been on the way to my house. Maybe Rue would’ve made it home before he grabbed her and nobody would be dead and hurt right now.” I start crying.

“Yeah, but we probably wouldn’t have Coin, or Snow on the run. If I showed you the yearbook and we went to the police Coin would’ve made sure no one found out. She may have just killed us both and covered it up. And according to the police, I think his ultimate goal was to take C.J from Jo. I know Rue is happier her nephew was safe even if that meant her being taken in his place. Katniss, I will heal. Jackson and Mitchell are courageous police officers who know every time they put on the uniform, their lives are at risk. They wouldn’t want you blaming yourself. Trust me.” Peeta says.

I run over to him and wrap my arms around him in a hug. He hugs me back.

“Katniss. Don’t cry. It’s okay. Pleas-”

I stop his mouth with my lips. My impulse to do something I’ve wanted to do for so long taking over. Peeta’s lips are soft and warm against mine.

He seems taken off guard at first. But he quickly takes ahold of my face and the upper hand. What starts as a gentle, sweet, kiss, becomes more passionate and frantic.

He lightly licks my top lip. I open up willingly letting him invade my mouth, and tangle our tongues, coaxing a delicate moan out of me.

I’ve never been kissed like this.

I feel high and ignited. My hands clutch the fabric at his chest and the hair at the nape of his neck. He runs and hand down from my shoulder, to my back. Caressing my side. Then sliding onto my hip. Peeta’s fingers dip slightly into the top of my jeans, sending chills through my whole body.

I feel tension in my belly and then a bump! I jerk away from Peeta unlatching our lips. His face is flushed and shocked.

Oh! What was that?

“Katniss. I’m sorry. Are you ok? I’m sorry I should… I shouldn’t have kissed you.” He fumbles.

Shouldn’t have? Why?

“I kissed you. But umm… my stomach hurts. I gotta go, Peeta.” I say rushing out.

I find my mom. I explain the weird feeling I felt.

What’s happening?

“Katniss, you just felt your baby move!” Mom tells me quietly, so no one else can here.

“Oh! Okay, so nothing’s wrong with me?” I say relieved.

“No. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately. Why, what were you doing? When you felt it?”

Kissing Peeta Mellark.

“Um. Just hanging out with Peeta. He is doing better by the way.” I half-lie.

“Okay. Good. So you’re alright then?” She asks.

Am I?

Was what I was doing wrong?

Is that why the baby chose that moment to scare the crap out of me?

“Uh huh.” I say.

“Okay, love you. Why don’t we get you home?” She says.

At home, I get on the computer and look at the school I was accepted to. It has a lot of grants and student loan options. If I live on campus and get a job, will I have time for a baby?

I click on a link for a scholarship program and somehow get to a scholarship application.

May as well apply right?

I start filling it out and then I get a text.

Peeta- I just want to make sure you’re ok. Please text me back.

Katniss- Yes. I’m fine. I just needed to get out of there. I’m home now. Sorry, I kissed you. I’m not sure where that came from.

Peeta- Maybe it came from your feelings for me?

Katniss- Peeta, I shouldn’t have feelings for you because I’m going away to school. You’re going away to school and we are great as friends. If we complicate that it could be bad. I just don’t think we’re ready.

Peeta- You mean you’re not ready. I could be ready. I wanted to ask you out remember?

Katniss- Yes, but Peeta, then life happened. We are, broken and carry battle scars. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. You might not feel the same way about me forever.

Peeta- Why won’t you let me decide what I feel for you and how long I want to feel it? I’ve felt it for years.

Katniss- You’ve felt what for years?

Peeta- Katniss can I see you?

Katniss- Your in the hospital? I just saw you.

Peeta- No, when I’m out. I’ll come by after I’m released.

Katniss- Okay but Peeta. Just focus on getting better.

Peeta- Thank you.

Katniss- You’re Welcome.

Peeta- Goodnight Katniss.

After texting Peeta, I go back to the computer. I get to the section of the application where you must write an essay. I stay up all night writing it. In the morning, I’m exhausted.

My phone rings. Haymitch tells me that Jackson woke up and he’s doing much better. But that Coin committed suicide last night.

What else could happen?

“Sweetheart, that’s not all. We think Cori snuck into the hospital last night.” Haymitch says.

Peeta!

“Your boys okay. It’s just that if he went there to see his mom. Then he knows she died and Boggs is worried he’ll want revenge so he wants to put you and your sister and your mom into Witness Protection. And frankly, I agree.” Haymitch says.

“But. But Haymitch?”

“We would be putting Rooba, Jo, C.J and Rue in also. But Thom refuses. Says he’s going out of state for college anyway and can’t disappear without Delly. The Hawthorne crew hasn’t had any threats so we can’t move them either.” Haymitch tells me.

This is crazy!

“What about? I was planning to go to school also.” I say still in shock.

“Yeah, well we could talk to the board of admissions and tell them your situation. They can recommend you to a similar school in another state and the government will be moving you and… and changing your names. But they’ll be finding your mom a good job. So I think you will find you end up in a higher tax bracket from now on. I’m sorry about the boy.” Haymitch says.

“Peeta isn’t my boyfriend. I guess now’s as good a time as any to tell you. I’m pregnant. I don’t want to hold back his future so…” I say tears welling up in my eyes.

“Wait is it-”

“It’s my baby, Haymitch. And I expect you to keep attorney, client confidentiality about that information. When do we have to leave?” I ask as stoically as I can.

“Two days.”

The events over the last four months have been life changing. Haymitch will be able to contact us and he’s assured us as soon as Coriolanus “Snow” Thread is caught we can return. But my faith that will happen is shaken.

Our last meal at Hazelle’s is rough. Rue and Prim are equally happy they get to stay together as they are devastated to be leaving Vic and Rory.

Gale invites Madge and Thom invites Delly. I saw Finnick and Annie before they left for the airport yesterday. BeeTee and Wiress both got early admissions and left before the kidnapping but have been sending their love through email and are sad we won’t be able to email anymore.

We try to remember the good times we’ve had around this huge kitchen table. We laugh. We cry. Everyone is putting on a brave face since half of this makeshift family is leaving in the morning.

Peeta is still in the hospital. Peeta has texted me goodnight, every night since we started helping each other get through the nights. Even when I wasn’t talking to him, he texted it. Tonight, for the last time on this phone, I text back.

Katniss- Goodnight Peeta.

“Peeta, why do you want to make this harder than it has to be? Stop putting yourself in danger for me.”

“Kat you were gonna leave without telling me. If I hadn’t over heard Holmes talking to Messalla, I still wouldn’t know. Of course I snuck out.”

He knocked on my window at midnight and I let him in. He looks so hurt that I could leave him.

“It’s raining, there’s a psychopath on the loose and you have a a metal pin and stitches in your leg.” I whisper so I don’t wake the whole house.

He carefully takes my hands in his. They’re surprisingly warm considering he just came in out of the cold. I hope he doesn’t have a fever.

“Tell me you don’t care about me?”

“Peeta what?” I shake my head and turn around.

“Can you say you don’t?”

“Peeta, we aren’t discussing this now. I’m leaving in the mornin’-“

“I love you, Katniss. I love you.”

I spin back around and he’s has unshed tears in his eyes.

“I’ve tried not to tell you. Because all the books say it’s too soon after this kind of tragedy to put this kind of pressure on you. I don’t want anything from you. You don’t owe me anything. But I have to tell you before you go. I know you care about me too.”

I close the small distance between us and kiss him like I did in the hospital. I think about what he’s just told me, and everything I know. Not only does he love me, it seems he has had feelings for me for a while because he remembers me singing in kindergarten. He wanted to ask me to Prom and he was sweet enough to stand by because someone beat him to it. He took pictures with me and let our friends tease him about being alone. He was no doubt angry I was being dumb and could’ve tried to steal me from the date, but he’s always thinking of others. He knew I needed help and he blamed himself for what happened. But he was my rock through all of the aftermath. Keeping me safe. Helping me feel safe. Always being cautious of my fear and never making me fear him. He read about how to deal with survivors. He himself is quite a survivor and he stayed away when I pushed him away. All the while selflessly putting his wishes on the back burner, for me.

“Peeta, I love you too. I have to go tomorrow. But I… I want you to stay with me, tonight.”

“Always.”

“I don’t know if you can forgive me for being so stupid and oblivious but I-“

“I already told you. You never need to apologize to me, love.” He says hugging me tight.

I sit on my bed and pull him down with me. He’s got an arm around me and draws little soothing shapes on my shoulders.

“Will I be able to contact you? I guess not, huh? Well, can I write to you? Maybe under a false name, or through Haymitch?”

I shake my hand no. The tears fall down both our faces as the gravity of the situation hits us.

“Kat, say something. Please.”

“Will you? Would you…” I cover me face with my hands. “I’m not good at saying something.”

“What do you need?” He asks and in that moment, I know he’d give me the moon if he could.

“I need you.” I tell him honestly.

“You have me. Okay? You don’t need to worry-“

“I need you, Peeta.” I emphasize the need that I feel growing with the revelation of my feelings.

“Oh. OH… you mean? But you… we… Katniss? Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

It’s not crazy rush passion or exactly how he might’ve imagined it.

We slowly explore each other’s bodies and get to know what feels amazing. I don’t expect much so it’s even more meaningful when he makes me climax with just his hands and then him mouth.

“You’re so beautiful and strong. Don’t ever let anyone tell your you’re not.” He whispers in the ear he just nibbled.

“I have to tell you something.”

“You’re pregnant aren’t you?” He guesses.

“How? When did you know?”

He gently rubs my belly as he rolls me on my side and lines up our bodies so he can enter me for a second time tonight.

“I was always aware of the possibility. But the morning sickness, the way you craved cheese buns, and when you fainted. I was pretty sure. I thought that’s why you pushed me away, but Katniss?”

He pushes in and I gasp at how good it feels.

“I love you, so much. How could I not love the baby?” He clarifies.

“Peeta, I love you.”

We finish together in a handful of moans and sighs.

I wake to a knock on my door.

I don’t feel him in the bed. In fact I’m in the clothes I wore yesterday.

It was just a dream?

“Haymitch called, sis. We can go back.” Prim says tears in her eyes.

I’m so shocked I almost miss the whirlwind of little legs.

“Mama wake-ity up. Come on, cereal s’ready.”

[talabib]

Valuable Lessons About Investing

Financial mistakes: we all make them. From overdue library fees to parking fines, our financial mishaps can be frustrating – but they rarely cost us hundreds of millions of dollars.

And as it turns out, even the world’s most eminent investors miscalculate and end up deep in the red. Whether it’s overconfidence or an underperforming economy, it turns out the people we hold to be financial wizards are still just people too.

This post looks at a few investors and runs us through their worst investments. What’s more, it shows that we’re in a privileged position – by learning from the best’s mistakes, we receive the benefit of their hard-won wisdom without the cost of heavy losses.

In investment, methods and techniques are useful but not infallible.

Humans naturally seek explanations for events in the world; neat little rules and tidy formulas that package things up into clear explanations. Unfortunately, the world is far too complex for this to really work – and as the legendary investor Benjamin Graham demonstrated, this is particularly true with investment.

Graham had a wildly successful financial career and authored the most influential investment book of all time: The Intelligent Investor, which was deemed “the best book on investing ever written” by the legendary Warren Buffett. But Graham’s most important act was pioneering a powerful new financial technique called value investing.

And at the heart of this concept is Graham’s observation that the price of a company fluctuates more than its value. This means that the cost of a company’s shares – its price – often doesn’t reflect the company’s value, which is a combination of things like revenue, assets and future potential. So, why this difference between price and value?

Well, it’s because humans set prices while businesses set values – and because humans are more fickle and emotional than businesses, price and value can vary considerably. For example, when Graham watched General Electric’s valuation plummet from $1.87 billion to $784 million in the 1930s, he noted that nothing disastrous had happened to the company’s assets, employees or revenue that year – it was simply investor optimism and pessimism driving these changes.

But even Benjamin Graham couldn’t concoct a market-beating formula, and his philosophy almost ruined him during the Great Depression. After watching prices skyrocket during the 1920s, he sensed that prices and value were way out of sync. So, he decided to bet against the market, predicting prices would fall. And he was right – except he misjudged the extent of the fall.

By 1930, the stock market had taken a beating. Assuming that the worst was over, Graham began to invest heavily once again. But prices kept falling, and the market wouldn’t truly bottom out until 1932; by that time, Graham’s portfolio had lost 70 percent of its value.

Experiences like Graham’s prove there are no iron-clad laws in investing, and certainly no magic formula. Being aware of value is critical, but don’t be a slave to it. Cheap can always get cheaper.

Failing to manage your risk is fatal – even to seasoned investors.

The famous investment maxim “buy low, sell high” has endured for a reason; it simplifies one of the most complex industries around with sound logic. But ironically, the man who coined it had an irrational appetite for risk.

Jesse Livermore was born in Massachusetts in 1877. At 23, he moved to New York and secured a stockbroking job, where he made $50,000 in his first week. Things were going well, but soon Livermore made a fatal miscalculation – and it wouldn’t be his last.

In 1901, Livermore shorted 1,000 shares of U.S. Steel and 1,000 shares of Santa Fe Railroad stock. In investor parlance, going short is the opposite of buying: you predict stock will decline from its current price, and aim to pocket the difference if it does. It’s a risky tactic; if shares increase in price, you’ll lose money. The price of Livermore’s shares rose.

He lost around $50,000 on these two deals, his entire fortune. In fact, he was worse than broke: he owed his employers $500! But Jesse Livermore wasn’t finished yet.

After working to repay his debt, Livermore returned to New York to start speculating again. The next few decades were a turbulent time, and the talented but flawed trader made and lost millions of dollars. Even so, the 1929 crash created the perfect environment for going short, which suited the naturally skeptical Livermore. Soon, he’d amassed a fortune that’d be worth $1.4 billion today. Livermore was one of the richest people in the world – but this would be his high-water mark.

When the stock market reached its lowest in 1932, it had fallen to such an extreme that a corrective bounce seemed likely. In fact, days later it experienced its greatest bounce in history. The Dow Jones Industrial Average, an important stock market index, surged 93 percent in 42 days. But there was a problem: Livermore had bet his capital on further losses. He was crushed. Days later, he decided to reverse his bets and hope stocks would rise further. They didn’t.

After struggling in poverty for the next few years, Jesse Livermore committed suicide on November 29, 1940. Jesse Livermore is a go-to source for financial words of wisdom, but bankrupted himself multiple times by failing to manage his risk. So what’s the most important strategy to manage your risk? Diversification.

Concentrated investments are a risky business.

Imagine you’ve got a nest egg tucked away. You know investing it is a risky business, but you want to give it a go anyway. You split your money between ten stocks, but soon one crashes to zero and you’ve lost 10 percent of your capital.

But if you’d split your investment between 100 companies, you would’ve lost only one percent. This is diversification: a strategy the Sequoia Fund should’ve paid more attention to.

One of the most successful investment firms of all time, Sequoia prefers long-term and large-scale investments. This preference for potent positions is the very opposite of diversification, but it has worked magnificently: a $10,000 investment into Sequoia in July 1970 would be worth $4 million today.

But in 2010, the fund introduced shareholders to an ill-fated purchase: shares of Valeant Pharmaceuticals. On April 28, 2010, Sequoia began purchasing shares in Valeant at $16. By the year’s end, the company’s price had ballooned by 70 percent. The next year was just as auspicious: Valeant gained 76 percent in the first quarter, becoming the fund’s largest holding. Things seemed rosy, but financial disaster was just around the corner.

Sequoia described Valeant to its stakeholders as a company which cuts corners on research and development (R&D) but invests “heavily in its sales force.” This might sound like savvy cost-cutting, but the reality is far more crooked: Valeant skimped on R&D because its business model revolved around purchasing existing drugs and jacking up their prices.

Just take Valeant’s 2013 purchase of Medicis – a company who invented a treatment for people exposed to lead poisoning. Before the acquisition, the drug cost healthcare providers $950. Overnight, the price rocketed to $27,000.

Because of incidents like these, Valeant started receiving increasingly bad press. And when presidential candidate Hillary Clinton pledged to prevent price gouging in the pharmaceutical industry, Valeant’s shares slid 31 percent. One month later, Citron Research published a report accusing Valeant of accounting fraud. Shares tumbled another 19 percent.

The debacle was a disaster for Sequoia. Soon after, they sold their entire position – the fund’s biggest holding – and took a 90 percent loss. The company’s assets crashed from $9 billion to under $5 billion in the space of a few months. The lesson to take from this incident is that concentrated holdings can generate wealth quickly – and decimate it just as fast.

Emotions can cloud our judgements when it comes to business deals.

Mark Twain is one of the great American novelists. He combined a sharp writing style with wry humor and an ability to convey great emotion. And, like many novelists, he put passion before logic in everything he did. In 1893, he wrote “when you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.” Good advice, sure – but with such a visceral mind, it's hard to think of someone more unsuited to investing. Yet that's exactly what he pursued in his spare time.

Twain was constantly searching for the “next big thing” to revolutionize our lives. In his time, he ploughed his fortune into many non-starters – but was particularly infatuated with inventors and their devices.

For example, in the 1870s an investor “invested” $42,000 – around $953,000 in today’s money – into a new technological process called a kaolotype. Charles Sneider, the inventor, claimed it would change the illustration and engraving industry by streamlining the process, and Twain was convinced. He put Sneider on a salary, and even funded a workshop in Manhattan without any agreement on deadlines. But the kaolotype was ineffectual, Sneider dishonest, and Twain didn’t receive a penny back from the episode.

Twain’s biggest blunder was yet to come. Sore over his mounting losses and bitter toward inventors, Twain passed on a golden opportunity: the telephone.

Twain was invited by his friend, General Joseph Roswell, to hear a pitch from a young inventor named Alexander Graham Bell. According to Twain, Bell gave a moving pitch filled with passion for his new product – but he still declined. Twain said he “didn’t want anything more to do with wildcat speculation.” At this, Bell even offered Twain the stock at a discount price. Twain’s reply? He didn’t want the stock at any price!

The trouble was that Twain was an emotional man and got attached to his investments. When they failed, he felt aggrieved – which then clouded his rational thinking for future investments. But what if Twain had set hard limits on what he was prepared to invest before signing on the dotted line? After all, a proven way to avoid rash decisions is to decide how much you’re willing to lose before you invest. This way, logic – not fear – drives your business decisions.

Traders should never overestimate their abilities.

As a schoolkid, did you ever take a test you were sure you’d fail, only to wind up with a decent grade? If so, you probably felt pretty good about your abilities, and maybe it even encouraged you to stop studying! One possibility you probably didn’t consider, though, is that it was an unusually easy test – just like how Jerry Tsai’s plaudits probably didn’t acknowledge that the 1960s was an easy decade for investments.

Jerry Tsai was managing the firm Fidelity Capital Fund before he’d turned 30. He was a character who exuded confidence; finance’s hot prospect in the 1960s and the first celebrity fund manager. His aggressive investment style involved executing many lightning-fast trades – often instinctive and perfectly timed.

Most importantly, though, he was effective: from 1958 to 1965, Tsai delivered Fidelity annual gains of 296 percent. He was hailed as a hero, and left Fidelity in 1965 to start his own fund: The Manhattan Fund.

And from there, Tsai’s star kept on rising. The Manhattan Fund offered 2.5 million shares in its company to financial professionals – but Tsai’s reputation had spread beyond the world of finance. Demand was ten times greater than anticipated: the Manhattan Fund issued 27 million shares in total and raised $247 million in capital. It was the biggest offering ever for an investment company.

This was a time of huge economic expansion: post-war austerity was over and many early tech companies were beginning to flourish. Between 1964 and 1968, the earnings of IBM and Xerox grew by 88 and 171 percent, respectively. Tsai himself was from a generation of investors who had only known extraordinary growth and affluence. In the 1960s stocks rose exponentially, and this gave Tsai an overinflated confidence in his own ability. But the 1969-1970 price plunge was just around the corner, and when it arrived, he was caught completely flat-footed.

Just take the Manhattan Fund’s investment in National Student Marketing. Tsai bought $5 million worth of shares at $143 each and watched this tumble to just $3.50 seven months later. Tsai’s machine-gun style of investment wasn’t suited to recessions and their aftermaths – the new climate rewarded patient, long-term trades. In 1969, the Manhattan fund ranked 299th out of 305 funds, and investors left in droves.

Tsai was playing an unwinnable game. He overestimated his personal ability in a time of great financial growth and paid the price when rapid trading became unprofitable. Remember: a rising tide raises all boats, so it’s a mistake to assume that yours is particularly buoyant!

Overconfidence has cost even the best investors millions of dollars.

Imagine you’re at a soccer game. To heighten the drama, you decide to place a wager on the outcome. But it’s a tough call - both teams seem equally skilled. Once you place your bet, though, you instantly feel confident about your choice. Suddenly a fan approaches you, offering to buy your bet slip – for more than you wagered. Would you do it?

Well, according to several psychologists, it’s unlikely you would. In a famous paper from 1991, academics Kahneman, Knetsch and Thaler described what they called the endowment effect. This hypothesis argues that we ascribe more value to things simply because we own them. But it doesn’t mean our possessions are inherently appealing – it’s just harder to give them up.

This illustrates two important points: first, objective thinking melts away when we own something; second, our confidence rises once we’ve made a decision.

It’s then that we fall prey to overconfidence. Just ask Warren Buffett, perhaps the most famous investor of all time.

Buffett has a stellar track record. Between 1957 and 1969, the “Oracle of Omaha” managed a partnership which returned gains of 2,610 percent. In 1972, Buffett and his company, Berkshire Hathaway, purchased See’s Candy for $30 million. Since then, it’s generated $1.9 billion in pretax revenue!

By 1993, Buffett had a long list of success stories. He was flying high and oozing confidence – but his biggest mistake was around the corner. That year, Berkshire purchased the Dexter Shoe Company for $433 million.

Dexter was an American-based manufacturer, and it had Buffett’s total confidence. He wrote to Berkshire shareholders “Dexter, I can assure you, needs no fixing: It is one of the best-managed companies Charlie and I have seen in our business lifetimes.” The legendary investor was so enamored of his new purchase that he failed to see the winds of change blowing through the industry.

Just five years later, Dexter was in freefall. The rise of manufacturing powerhouses like China and Taiwan crippled the US domestic shoe market. By 1999, Dexter’s revenue had declined 18 percent. It ended its US shoe production in 2001, and Berkshire folded the company into its other shoe firms.

Buffett had been on a run of successful deals and failed to be vigilant. Even the world’s best err.

Reducing unforced errors is vital to investment success.

A chess game between two grand masters is a remarkable thing, a master class in grace, accuracy and timing. Grand masters employ elaborate techniques, of course, and above all they orchestrate their pieces to cover vulnerabilities and force errors from the opponent. Just as it is in chess, so it is in finance.

The crucial idea is that professionals in any game rarely make unforced errors – their fate is usually sealed by errors that the situation forces upon them. In contrast, the outcome in contests of novices is determined by their own, avoidable mistakes. Novices shouldn’t focus on winning points – they should focus on not losing points.

But even professionals are guilty of unforced errors sometimes. Consider Stanley Druckenmiller. After a successful career running his own investment fund, Duquesne Capital Management, Druckenmiller was appointed lead portfolio manager for George Soros’ Quantum Fund in 1988. Druckenmiller thrived there: in his first four years, annual growth never dipped below 24 percent, mostly due to his strong knowledge of the world economy and foreign currencies.

However, in 1999, Druckenmiller ventured outside his zone of expertise and committed a string of unforced errors.

Tech stock was beginning its meteoric rise that year. Druckenmiller, however, believed that they were overvalued. He was so sure of this that he bet $200 million of Quantum’s capital on a price decline – except this didn’t happen.

Instead, these expensive stocks kept getting pricier, and soon the Quantum was down 18 percent for the year. Druckenmiller, deciding he was out of touch with the market, hired two young, tech-savvy employees and went back to his forte – foreign currencies.

But he couldn’t stay away from tech stocks for long. After Druckenmiller made a major investment in the euro only to see it decline in value, he watched with envy as his new employees were still raking in cash from tech stocks. Not wanting to be upstaged, he invested $600 million in the networking company VeriSign.

But the tech bubble was about to burst, and Druckenmiller would be left with a half-billion-dollar sized hole in his pocket. By May 2002, VeriSign was worth just 1.5 percent of its peak value.

From neglecting his areas of expertise to allowing himself to succumb to the fear of missing out, Druckenmiller illustrated the danger of unforced errors and why we should focus on stamping them out rather than casting around for our big wins.

Investors must take big losses in their stride.

Have you ever looked at the price history of Amazon stock? If so, you’ve probably kicked yourself for not realizing this sleeping giant would change the world. After all, an initial investment of $1,000 early on would have netted you $387,000 today! But such thinking is harmful and masks the superhuman nerve that would’ve been required to hold onto your Amazon stock. It was slashed in half on three separate occasions.

And this doesn’t just happen to the financial layperson: short-term losses test the resolve of seasoned investors too, including people like Charlie Munger.

Munger is best known as Warren Buffett’s long-time partner and the vice-chairman of Berkshire Hathaway. He has a formidable intellect that thrives on inverting questions and reverse engineering problems. This intelligence, along with his razor-sharp wit, have made him famous for his playful aphorisms, or “Mungerisms.” For example, “All I want to know is where I’m going to die so I’ll never go there.”

But Munger’s genius didn’t save him from some financial nosedives. In 1974, he threw diversification to the wind and invested 61 percent of his fund into Blue Chip Stamps – a company producing loyalty tokens redeemable for consumer goods. But soon there was an economic downturn, and firms producing non-essential goods were devastated.

Such a concentrated position was completely unadvisable, and this stake in Blue Chip was almost fatal: an investment of $1,000 in Charlie Munger’s company in January 1973 would have been worth just $467 in January 1975. Many investors were questioning his judgement, scrambling to cut their losses with him.

But Charlie Munger wasn’t beaten yet, and neither was Blue Chip Stamps. Munger’s investment company posted gains of 73.2 percent by December 1975, and Blue Chip later purchased several companies which would become some of Berkshire’s prize assets: See’s Candies, Wesco Financial and the Buffalo Evening News.

So, after a disastrous period in the mid-1970s, Munger bounced back stronger than ever. Ever since, he’s been a guiding light in one of the most successful investment companies of all time.

Charlie Munger’s Blue Chip investment shows how crucial it is to exercise patience and composure when investing long-term. It’s common for portfolios to take massive hits due to external factors like the wider economy, and you must be able to insulate yourself from temporary large losses. Remember: the time not to sell your investments is in a panic after a drop in value.

Investing is a dangerous game – even for the most talented players. But by studying the greats and their greatest blunders, we can benefit from their mistakes without the million-dollar price tags. If you’re an amateur, you should focus on avoiding unforced errors rather than shooting for big wins, and if you do win, stifling overconfidence is crucial. Above all, don’t become attached to your assets: emotions like fear, anger, envy and greed are your portfolio’s worst nightmare.

Action plan: Exercise due diligence and don’t over-trade.

If you’re new to the world of stocks and shares, you should know that making too many trades is one of the most common errors. Like a true venture capitalist, you should exhaustively research every company you plan to invest in and don’t be afraid to walk away. Warren Buffett once suggested that investors should act like they are only permitted to make 20 trades in their entire career. This way, you exercise extreme caution and keep yourself focused on high-quality trades.