#they should be having a childhood but they're being forced to grow up too soon

[svnflowermoon]

hey btw before you start being angry at the 10 year old sephora kids and the ipad kids, remember that we should feel bad for them. because the world has failed them. it is not these kids faults that the world is so focused on materialistic things and that their parents don't know how to talk to them. that is the fault of social media and bad parenting. i said what i said.

[locomoqo]

An odd headcanon req, not your usual stuff, but hear me out—

What if Gapryeong Kim didn't exactly stop after having Jake, having another child (the reader). But the man wasn’t interested in our existence (he probably didn't even know we existed in the first place). Our mother, resenting us (and she let us know, too), soon abandoned us after a few years to chase her own dreams, forcing us to grow up on the streets.

What if Jake found the reader one day? The reader, recognizing him from a picture our mother once showed us, throws a rock or attacks him out of impulse/resentment, thinking, “if it weren’t for him, mom wouldn’t have left us,”

Somehow, Jake ended up taking us in, easily convincing us with food (it's hard to find them when you're not well-off). Now Jake and Big Deal had to figure out how to deal with us besides giving us food. Also— this wasn't in their job description. What do they even do with this kid?

(Feel free to ignore this if it isn't your cup of tea) ^^

OH AND ALSO IM THINKING OF Y/N'S ENERGY WITH BIG DEAL BEING LIKE THIS AT FIRST but after some food and a good sleep under an actual roof, wellll they're going to be more compliant (can't bite the hand that feeds after all)

jake & his younger half-sibling hcs!

at first, Jake is in disbelief. here’s this kid hurling a rock at him, scrawny and furious, all because they hold him responsible for their miserable childhood.

he feels a mixture of guilt? and responsibility i would guess

since jake’s always cared about family and his crew like a brotherhood, knowing he has a sibling who’s been through hell hits him hard

jake isn't the type to be easily shaken off. He calmly tries to explain who he is and reassure you, especially after realizing the struggles you've been through

despite any anger thrown his way, he’s patient—he’s been a leader for a while, and he knows how to deal with hostility.

initially, big deal is confused by the sudden addition of a scrappy, young person to the mix. some gang members joke about "babysitting" while others wonder if this kid will be more trouble than they’re worth.

anytime any of them try to start a conversation, you shut it down with a glare or a judging side eye

yet, they can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy. the kid's tough, angry exterior hides a young person who’s had it rough.

but!! you should remember they’re tough gang members, not child psychologists! so their version of bonding might involve buying treats, showing you some self-defense moves, and a whole lot of, “So… you hungry?”

big deal’s attempts are clumsy, but in their own way, they’re trying to make you feel at home :DD

jake doesn’t force any sibling connection on you. instead, he tries for smaller gestures—his careful approach might slowly start to chip away at the resentment!

over time, i think jake and you would start to realize you share certain traits and opinions of their parents (AHEM AHEM GAP).

you might resist their kindness, but you'll slowly start to feel a sense of belonging with big deal

little by little, Jake's warmth and Big Deal’s rough kindness help you learn to trust again.

It’s been a week since Jake took you in, though calling it "home" felt strange. Every time he caught you staring at him, you’d quickly look away, pretending you weren’t studying the man who was supposed to be your brother. And every time, Jake would just smile a little, like he knew.

One night, as he put a bowl of ramen in front of you, you muttered, “I don’t need your pity food.”

"Not pity. Just dinner.” Jake chuckled, sitting across from you.

You scoffed but didn’t move the bowl, eyeing the steam wafting up.

“You’re family,” he said softly, his gaze steady. “You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to, but… I’d like it if you did.”

You hesitated, the warmth of the broth and the smell reminding you of every cold, empty night you’d spent alone. Begrudgingly, you picked up your chopsticks, slurping a bite.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jake’s shoulders relax, just a little.

“Good,” he murmured, as though you’d done him some kind of favor, and suddenly, the silence didn’t feel so heavy.

[ruins-and-rewritez]

DAY 7: LEAVES: Helnik

They take walks sometimes. Languid, lazy things. Just a few moments to appreciate how peaceful life can be when you're not faced with a constant war that you can't escape. Other times are swift, jostling things. At the markets and shops. Learning the unseen, unknown nooks and crannies of a new place. Exploring whatever there is to be offered.

Matthias prefers the ones where they're off the beaten path, not surrounded by people and all the noise that they create. He likes the peace and quiet, or more specifically, he likes having Nina all to himself (not in a serial killer sort of way). He likes the reassurance that no one is about to take her away from him or that any moment they could enter some forbbiden territory and have to revert to fighting for their lives, there's been enough of that.

Nina walks beside him, humming a soothing melody that's tinged in childhood, he'll remember to ask her later, unwilling as he is to disturb the moment.

Sunlight flits through the leaves above them, sending rainbow of colors cascading around. Oranges, reds, and greens. This autumn is as picturesque as a scene on a postcard, with its cool breezes, bountiful harvest and bright warm colors.

It's so much more preferable over Fjerda's early snows and Kerch's unrelenting rain showers. Perhaps they return again for it next year, if not for another visit but to avoid the unsavory alternatives.

"We should head back soon, before it gets too late."

Matthias murmurs his assent, wondering if he can discover away to put a lock on time so he can relax like this a little longer. But returning before dusk is probably for the better seeing as how they aren't exactly prepared to face a night in the forest (he has a rifle of course, and Nina, but that's more for if they accidently run into a bear)

He threads their fingers together as they turn around, a gesture that seems less forward here in Ravka and is practically a handshake in Kerch. He's sure that someday he'll grow used to being so open with his affections in a way that's so blatantly obvious.

Nina rambles about her hopes for dinner, insisting the Zoya better pull out all the stops after they travelled all the way here just to see her. How it doesn't matter if she's queen or not she should be a good host for her best friend and use those royal coffers to have something tasty.

"But mostly I'll be happy as long as it's not that crap we had to eat at the Little Palace."

Matthias smiles. Even back then Nina believed that if they were being forced to serve in the country's armed forces they might as well have splurged a little on food so that their soldiers good have a decent meal before being sent to the slaughter.

Traveling around, tasting all the different dishes that were offered had only proved to her that every second spent eating should be a second worth enjoying.

"I'm sure it will be as delicious as last night."

Nina smiles, a dazzling thing, "one can hope."

Matthias is resigning himself to the fact that diner is bound to be another boisterous affair (between Nikolai and Nina there's alot to deal with), when they reach the gate.

"Matty, look."

He's not sure what he's looking at until Nina points enthusiastically to a shaded area next to the gate post.

Someone, a castle servant, has raked up all the leaves near the castle's lower walls and piled them under an oak.

"Let's go," and then she's pulling him, yanking on his arm, to the tree, before he has the chance to even ask what's so exciting.

At the trunk she let's go and starts climbing when the realization of what she's planning to do, finally, dawns him.

"Nina. No."

She grins down at him, "Matty, come on, have some fun for once."

Before he can protest anymore, she gives him a saucy little wave from the lower branches, and leaps down.

Leaves explode from the pile, a brilliant burst of color flying into the air, one of them landing in his hair, another skimming his cheek.

And then Nina. Sitting in the middle of the chaos, laughing like a child. Her face lifted to the sky watching the way they float down like feather. Crowning her head like she's the queen of the forest. She's always been so beautiful.

He knows for certain then. The thing that his heart has always known. The thing that his brain need a while to catch up to. That for her, whether it's off a cliff or into a pile a leaves, he'd take the plunge. (Like he hasn't fallen already)

[floptopus]

The other thing about the Naoto Trans discourse is also... I'm sorry, but the final story of Naoto that we get in-game is inherenty transphobic. It tells the story of someone who wants to be a boy from a young age, lives seemingly comfortably as a boy even if it doesn't fix his life, and is visbly uncomfortable with their feminine body.

Even Naoto's shadow says almost nothing about their gender, focusing instead on their childhood and the fact that they're trying so hard to be an adult, and only briefly touching on insecurities about their AGAB.

And yet, the conclusion is that they're a poor, confused girl. That, in their words, "I will never change from a woman to a man". That they were born a girl, and so they can never be a real man, and their desire to do so is clearly because they, in their little girl naivety, think that becoming a man will solve all their woes with the misogyny baked into society and, in particular, their chosen career path.

In short, it's the narrative that trans men are bombarded with every day.

That we're just confused girls, playing at being boys because we think it will fix our problems. That we'll never be real men, so we should just accept our femininity and learn to be comfortable with it. That this is the only true way to become happy.

And the thing is, like many transmascs who have been temporarily dissuaded from transitioning with that narrative, Naoto's dysphoria doesn't go away. They express discomfort with being seen in a feminine light, especially with their body, they choose to continue binding and wearing the boy's version of the school uniform, they continue to go by their chosen masculine name (despite their shadow implying that's not their birth name), and they even express in one Social Link rank that they wish they'd been born a boy.

The only time they seemingly become comfortable with their femininity is in post-canon timeskips, where that "development" is left off-screen and just handwaved as "she's happy as a girl now we swear!"

I won't go into their romance route here because as a P4 fan it's one of the hardest things for me to stomach, I think it's disgusting even if you view Naoto as a cis girl and I think it's deeply rooted in homophobia because, hey, we can't have the protagonist date someone unfeminine, can we?

And yet, Persona 4 is Persona 4, so we can't actually have that. Instead, we're left with a half-baked narrative that achieves nothing. The trans narrative is backwalked in such a way that it becomes transphobic, but the other readings of internalised misogyny and the struggles of being a woman in a male-dominated field or the struggles of forcing yourself to grow up and try to be an adult too soon and the ways that can hurt you are both undercut by the way that Naoto is clearly, visibly struggling with their genderidentity to some extent.

So yeah, Persona 4 is Persona 4.

the thing about the naoto trans discourse that always throws me is like. given the themes of persona 4, naoto being trans would just make more sense. however persona 4 is persona 4

[galene-gothic]

How would a tarot reader describe you?

PAID SERVICES

Note: I'll be referring to the reader in third person.

Pile 1

Cards: the fool (reversed) – the king of wands (reversed) – the ten of pentacles

This person seems to be kinda non-committal. 'Friends' by Chase Atlantic started playing as soon as I started reading the cards. It's funny because they also seem to crave intimacy and intensity. They might just be very cautious in case they end up trusting the wrong person. They might be perceived as reckless or childish by others. This person has an interesting energy, they believe that no one could possibly love them for who they are but they also believe that everyone is in love with them and people from the past have a hard time moving on from them because they're one of a kind. This person might have had a strict father or male figure in their life. This person loves attention, I wouldn't be surprised if this person had leo placements or a prominent sun placement. They tend to march at the beat of their own drum. They don't care about what others say as long as they're being true to themselves, however, they still want to be popular, they don't care about being well-liked as much as being popular. When it comes to relationships they can get really intense but at some point they might go through a serious denial and avoidance phase. They also tend to think that they're always right. They've got a very diverse personality, they might also be considered rude by some. This person might come from a rich family or might have gotten rich by themselves, if not, they definitely have the ability to make a lot of money. How people perceive them, how their family and childhood affected them, how much money they have, how to spend and manage money and their career goals are constantly on their mind. They either have a good family life or wish to have one, even if it's a found family. They might have a soft spot for the found family trope. This person might be very naive, people are usually not as soft as they perceive them to be. This person might choose emotionally unavailable partners because they unconsciously like the thought of not having to commit but might also end up choosing emotionally vulnerable partners because they love the intensity and intimacy of having someone strip their soul bare in front of them and vice versa (even though they're scared of the latter). They tend to see the best in everyone and might often see people and situations for their potential, I think it's because they've grown a lot from who they were in the past and can correlate how they acted in the past with what people might be thinking or might do in similar situations in the present or future, they are really mature but they still want to nurture their inner child because of how fast they were forced to grow. They might be interested in psychology, human behaviour or just really good at reading people and their patterns.

Pile 2

Cards: the king of wands – the seven of swords (reversed) – the seven of pentacles

This person is likely the center of attention. They have the kind of personality where they'll listen to what everyone has to say but will do what they wish to do at the end of the day, however, they'll not disregard the negative possibilities but will instead keep them in mind and have a back-up plan or simply just faith that they'll be fine regardless of the outcome. They are confident, ambitious, generous and proud of themselves. This person has a very royal vibe and mindset, it might reflect in their sense of style and body language too. They might be perceived as someone unfaithful and as someone who moves on really quickly after a breakup, be it platonic or romantic. They could lie a lot, I'm not sure what they lie about but it might be to protect their pride. This person seems to have a sense of regret towards someone (mostly themself) due to something they did in the past and if they don't consciously... Then they should rethink. They might be trying to convince themself that they were the right person and didn't do anything wrong regarding a certain situation. However, if this person is self aware and has owned up to themselves about everything that happened, they are living a pretty fulfilling life, they are growing everyday, they might be anxious sometimes but they have faith. This person might be perceived as an attention seeker by someone or a certain group of people. They most likely have experienced being a villain in someone else's story. They might have gone through multiple betrayals, some of which might have been recent. They might be having a lot of ideas right now and might be moving forward with some plans as well. They seem to have a lot of perseverance, their hardwork will likely pay off (only after they've gained self awareness though).

Pile 3

Cards: death (reversed) – the king of wands (reversed) – the five of swords

TW: mentions of abuse and bullying.

They have a hard time letting go and moving on. They might feel like they're stuck in a certain pattern which might unfortunately be true. If they do not learn lessons and try to actively heal themselves for which they'll have to face their demons/their shadow side, they'll be stuck in this cycle of repeating patterns for a long time. They might be in a period of unavoidable change right now and they'll have to accept it. This person loves attention even if they do not accept it. They might have an extremely delicate temper and might be perceived as rude and forceful by others. They do what they want to do and believe that they're always right when in reality they do not even know themselves because they do not want to face themselves. They're impulsive and have really high expectations of themselves and others but they have sort of a hypocritical approach, they might internally or openly fight with people who judge others. They might have been a victim of abuse or bullying, if not, they've just felt very humiliated (probably recently) which might have affected them a lot. If this person recently lost someone, it was for the best. They might have that mindset where they feel like they have to win no matter what. They might even end up sounding really harsh or sometimes dumb in arguments due to their desire to win. They're going through a change that they didn't even ask for. I'm getting a heartbroken energy from them. I'm getting them getting criticized and humiliated for dating someone in the past or for simply just wanting to be loved :(, this person however, has a lot of capacity for growth, depth and change. This person also seems to be a really deep and intense lover even though their ideals or ways may be toxic. They might have their venus in aquarius or a venus in aquarius might have broken their heart, can simply be prominent aquarius placements too. This person is starting to form a very strong yet melancholic personality with a lot of depth, emotional intelligence and social grace. This person is going to have a physical glow up soon and turn out to be very confident and sure of themselves.

[yostresswritinggirl]

Abandoned By The Altar

Part 2; When you grow older.

Vibe Here

A timeline oriented story focused on your once perfect childhood relationship as Diluc’s bride to be, soon becoming estranged after the death of his father and his neglect. You only wish now that he looks at you the same way he did when you heard you were supposed to be together forever when you were young.

Pairings -> Diluc x Reader, Kaeya x Reader if you squint (All young at the first parts)

Word Count -> 8170

Themes -> Initial Fluff, Angst, Fluff again

Series -> #Bonafide Specials (100 followers event) Part 1 Part 3

Warnings -> Character Death, Slightly suggestive themes

Diluc's heart almost leaped to his throat when he had finally seen you, found you, now conversing with the new member of the family his father had adopted just yesterday. Kaeya, was his name. He looked peculiar, and older than him too.

Despite your spritely aura, he noticed his now brother still wary and even tensed at your presence, so the younger boy finally made his way over. The training sword bouncing against his hip with every step, he made his way next to you, offering a smile as he gestured to the blunette. "I see you've met Kaeya, he's my new brother, he entered the house yesterday."

Your lively eyes that was wide with happiness from finally seeing Diluc now held a hint of wonder as it landed on Kaeya, a toothy grin presenting itself on your face. The blunette can't help but blink, "Hello there, big bro Kaeya! I'm (Y/N), my mother and father are good friends with Master Crepus!"

You offered a handshake and he took it only a second late, handshake light yet tight. "Oh! I'm also Diluc's financee." Fiancée, Diluc corrected again as your hands part from each other. "Yeah, that."

Kaeya's only visible eye suddenly flew wide open as he chokes on air. Did he hear that right? These two children in front of him, years younger than him, already fated to marry in the future. What kind of customs does Mondstadt had, he warily thought in the back of his mind as he watches you two interact.

What a sad life it must be to be forced to something like that so early, he thought to himself before he saw you reach out to Diluc's hand. And the redhead, upon noticing this started to remove his used and dirtied glove, before catching your outstretched hand easily.

Kaeya only watched with an uneasy smile. He supposed this is something he needs to get used to if he wants to stay.

And oh boy, it's not something he's gonna get used to easily, the skeptic boy thought as he found himself getting dragged around by the Winery by you. You were touring him around and inside to places he had yet to see, entering rooms that normal people probably had no access to. You knew the Winery as if you had a map on you, and he supposed he expected this much if you were that close to his... brother.

"Were you," the innocence of your eyes as you whipped your head up to look at him hurt his heart over how in contrast it was with his, "forced to be together with Diluc?"

You let out a scandalous gasp on which Kaeya had to stop himself from snorting. "Why, no! I'm the one who even asked him about it," his snort turned into that weird sound again. "He's my bestest friend and I want nothing more than to be by his side always!"

F-Friend? God, Kaeya's head had been experiencing a numbing headache lately.

With his desire to be part of the Knights of Favonius, Diluc had more often than not, neglected giving you attention so often that it was a stark contrast to the closeness you two had before. And on days where he held his training sword, he'd realize just how he missed you and your imposing hugs.

But he wanted- no- needed to get stronger. He was blessed by the Gods with a Vision, and the weak are meant to be protected, and he can't let himself be the useless person he had been the day you were on the brink of death. Even if you hid it perfectly well and brushed aside the incident when you came to, he noticed how the veins in your hand were a more prominent shade of blue now.

How your fingertips get easily cold and how you always clung to the warmth his hand gives off as a result of his Vision.

When Kaeya asked about you, about his Vision, about his ambitions— he complied almost instantly, like a valve opened fully, all the answers Kaeya was seeking flowed out seamlessly like running water.

As the oldest out of you three, despite the fact that you'd all only knew each other for three days, Kaeya had already felt the urge to protect and be there whenever Diluc had busied himself with his justified training. He'd watch your lips turn into a pout as your redhead drag himself back outside with his sword and Kaeya would then distract you from your disappointment.

Crepus had been witness to this grand scheme for a while now, relieved that his new son had at least started coping with the new environment and interactions. But your presence had always astounded the people around you, and comforted those the same age as you. Despite being on the road and barely making lasting friendships, it was a mystery how you managed to entrance people like that.

"Diluc is just pursuing his dreams," the redhead, your uncle, started as he sat next to you by the benches. Boar Princess, he noted as you closed the book you were reading, opting to look up at him with those doe eyes again. "I know you must feel lonely, having to wait for him and everything. But he's doing it for you too, to protect you."

Your eyelids drooped in the implications and your lips pursed into a pout as you turned back to watch Diluc spar with his instructor. You sighed again before whispering under your breath, "But aren't we supposed to be together forever..."

You felt a big hand ruffle your hair, making you whine on how messy it was now. How old were you again? 11 years? Eh, should be enough. "Sweet (Y/N), being Diluc's fiancée doesn't mean you need to be around him everytime," he started talking about your promise and that had finally drawn your full attention. "You have your own life, Diluc has his path to be a knight. Sometimes what you want doesn't go the same was as he wants, and the same goes for him to you. But in the end you still are together, and still treasure each other."

The thought of having a daughter never really passed the man's mind in his whole life, he mused as he watched your beaded eyes fleet back to Diluc, before once again finding itself to Crepus with a firmer resolve. You wanted to learn more and it's time you finally understand the gravity of your promise.

Crepus placed down his cup of grape juice and turned to you on the bench. "You know your mother and father and how they're together, right?" A soft nod. "You two will be just like that, in the future together. Not always together but always end up coming back to each other, because your parents love each other always. Do you want to be with Diluc that way? Do you love and support him like that?"

Your button nose cutely scrunched up in contemplation and shortly gave him a vigorous nod with a wide grin. He grins back. "Good, thank you, I'm sure that Diluc too would support you in your dreams."

As if he had a sixth sense, the young master Diluc felt as if his name was being mentioned in important business as his eyes passes over the bench where you two reside. Sensing the distraction, his instructor finally allowed him a break, and the first thing he did was jog over to the two of you, "Father, (Y/N)." He watched you as you scrambled to climb down the bench, hurriedly taking off his dirtied glove to assist you down.

Crepus once again hid his smile behind his drink as he watched you bound over to him, the same fire in your eyes as you placed your hands on the child's shoulderd firmly. "Diluc, I love you!" You loudly declared before smashing your lips to his— Crepus spits his grape juice. "I'll support your dreams to the end-! Ahhhh, Diluc fainted! Uncle, HELP!"

The young master woke up a few hours later to you crying over and over, saying sorry for 'breaking him again.' Crepus and your parents were by the side, your mother's horrified face concealed by her hand after hearing what you've done.

Oh dear, the Ragnvindr thought to himself, my son is a sub.

Ever since that day, the people around you have started preparing you for your future of refinement and adulthood. You were no Vision-wielder unlike Diluc, and your handling swords were nothing to boast about. Your parents are businessmen and as their only child it would be you that will be inheriting and operating the work that they had built up, and so naturally that was the route you had to pick.

Your tutoring and Diluc's continuous training to get into Ordo Favonius made it hard for you both to spend more time with each other. Toys were replaced by books and swords, garden of Cecilias changed to libraries and training dummies.

Crepus, as a father and an uncle, alternates his time between you two. At times he'd be the one sparring with his child and grating the principles of knighthood to him, and on rare occasions that you were there, he walks you around as he talks about the wine industry and the operations of his business. Both of you started growing, separately, but there was a similar flame representing your spirit within both of your eyes.

Diluc entered the ranks of the Knights when he was 14, and Crepus was overwhelmed by the achievement his son finally reached, of the dream he once had when he was a child. In that same age range, you've also ended up making a name for yourself as the youngest business entrepreneur and economic scholar, your name and prodigy reached past Liyue...

And in your hands lay a perfectly white envelope enclosed with the insignia of Sumeru. The Academia invites you into a scholarship program once you turned 18.

Your whole family rejoiced at the recognition and the opportunity and you wept in tears of happiness. Finally, your young mind cried, you were finally something worthy to be next to Diluc instead of a normal person that can't be blessed by the Gods.

A party had been in order for both milestones, and more prestigious individuals from all over Teyvat were present. Something came up before the party that forced you to be late once again, and Diluc realized just how long you hadn't seen each other, more so spent time with each other. Kaeya stood next to him before nudging him with an elbow slightly, "What's got you so worried, brother? You shouldn't frown on your own party."

At the remark, Diluc stood straighter and fixed his frown. Why is it now that he was reminded of your promises and dwindled time? In the back of his mind, he realized just how much at fault he was for being neglectful. The spark you two had felt estranged and distant, feeling as tho things won't come back to the way they were.

The Court Marshal's booming voice suddenly announced your family name and the hall turned silent as everyone lifted their gaze to the grand entrance. Your bedazzled self stood there in your ombre dress, short sleeve matched with elbow gloves, and a resin Cecilia hairpiece holds itself on the crown of your head.

Diluc and Kaeya, and several other boys in the crowd gasped at your regal aura. Was this really YOU? The same girl that spit a grape on his hand/complimented a stranger's eyepatch? You stood with the poise of a refined woman and your face enlightened with a subtle artificial blush. Gone was your toothy grin and replaced with respectful smile as you made your way through the crowd.

Suddenly the nervousness came crashing back to the knight and he scrambled to pick himself up as the distance between you two shortened.

"Master Diluc," you curtsied and he inwardly doubled over at the formality, finding it almost detesting. "I'm glad to meet you again."

"(Y/N)," he bowed with a hand on his chest. "You don't need to be so formal."

The respectful smile on your face turned into a full-blown grin, the one he was used to, as you barreled towards him for a hug. Purely due to instincts and conditioning, Diluc was quick to catch you into his arms to reciprocate the hug. Disappointed gasps and whines echoed through the hall at the display, but they stood there in awe as they watched, for the rare sight of the young master's genuine smile was there for all to see.

As you two first danced the night away, it was finally brought onto everyone the fact that young master Diluc and young mistress (Y/N) were already fated together.

The ballroom parted to give way to you two as you chatted the missed times together, falling easily into steps while updating each other of the things you had done. It's true, you two may had gone your separate ways and lost time but in the end, you'll find yourself in each other's embrace.

The darkness of the knight embraces the winery as crystalflies dance by the vines and the surrounding grassland. The freshly signed contract made its way in between the pages of the personal journal before it was pushed into the luggage together with the packed clothes.

There was a thick silence in the room as Diluc continued watching with his lips tight, leaning against the doorframe. A tension was obvious, but it wasn't between you two, but it was also against you two.

Tomorrow at high noon marks your official departure to Sumeru now that you had finished your secondary education, at the prime age of 18. All things necessary had been prepared, a convoy of knights to guide you until you reach past the border of the continent, and in that security is Kaeya. Cavalry Captain Diluc had matters to work on in the capital, it was not his official job to officiate your leave. Even if he wanted to.

It was one of the instances, of the many, that being a knight had pulled him away from you.

"Something's on your mind, I can feel it," Diluc snapped out of his thoughts when he felt the ghost of your fingertips brush away the hair framing his face, cupping both of his cheeks like you've always done. He takes one into his hand, squeezing it lightly as he offers a small smile.

"So are you, your hands are trembling," and indeed they were. You huffed at being caught but recovered, pulling him into your room and on to your bed. There were numerous times when you'd sleep together on the same bed when you missed each other; you were both 8 that time, now you laid there as 18 years olds. The implications had him gulp while you seemed unbothered.

"Four years," you recounted as you flopped back on your mattress, the room you took for yourself in the winery ever since you arrived 10 years ago. "Maybe lesser, depending on how well I do."

"You'll do good," he assured as he kicked off his boots and climbed next to you, now laying on his side to face you. Your eyes fluttered shut with a sigh and he couldn't hell but blush at the way your eyebrows scrunched together with your pursed lips, "I believe in you."

"It's the longest we'll be separated, you can easily find another girl that would bother you enough to get you to marry her." You both snorted at the idea, before laughing in harmony at the joke.

"Mmm, I should be saying that to you. Scholars and prestigious men attend the Academia, they can easily sweep you away with their wits," he bit back and you laughed at the idea. How funny the predicament is, joking about getting stolen the same day you finally signed your arranged marriage contract.

Talks about anything and everything blew the night away easily. Diluc can see in your eyes that the nerves within you wouldn't let you sleep, and keeping him locked in constant conversation would prevent him from leaving. He entertained you this much, uncharacteristically chatty, as if repaying the four years that will go by without each other. And at the back of Diluc's mind, his worry of losing you in those four years started to manifest and cloud his thoughts into a fairly sensible doubt.

"Lulu!" He yelped as he felt a sudden bite on his cheek, reflexively pushing you down by the shoulders under him to suppress the assault. He was strong, you'd forgotten this new fact. As you laid sprawled under him as heavy breathing mixed in between.

You gripped the wrists of his hands that now stands next to your head to keep him there. His eyes were wide yet bashful. You called out to him again and it was almost a whine, asking him to tell you what's in his mind, what's worrying him and distracting him like this.

And he spilled all his insecurities, for every word that slipped past his lips, his heart relaxes while his eyes clenches. Somewhere in the middle of his rant, you had his cheeks captured in your palms again, to swipe at the tears that passes by. He worked his ass off to become a knight so he can protect you but you will be too far for his claymore to reach you, he wouldn't be there to hold your hand so you don't go off on your own and wonder to somewhere dangerous. And he wouldn't be there to bring you into his arms to remind that he exists, the one and only person meant to be for you.

Diluc doesn't know when he started falling in love, he doesn't know when he started wanting your company as a lover. But he knows there would be men that would look at you the way he does, easily captivated by your aura and your beauty. And if they were to take your hand, he wouldn't know. He wouldn't know when he had lost you, if he had lost you already.

Diluc was an honest man to you, and he was honest when he said he was scared to lose you.

"I belong to you," you started as your fingers softly pats his cute reddened cheeks. "And only you. I'll get a ring and don it on my hand to let the world know, I'll write letters to you as many times as I can so you'll know I'm still alive and yours." You pulled him closer, foreheads touching each other, as you stared at the red windows to his soul. He nods in agreement, slightly assured.

"I want to stay here tonight," somehow you urged the words out of him so easily everytime. The introverted boy you once knew stood on his own feet now, proudly, "Just so I don't forget you easily."

"I won't let you forget me at all," Diluc froze from taking off his vest when he saw you with a mischievous glint in your eyes, "Not after tonight." Oh boy.

It was the devil's hour when you twirled a strand of his untied hair, wild and curly, around your finger. Luscious and thick, silky yet unkempt. "Don't cut your hair," you mumbled as you leaned against his bare chest, sending a smile as you tilt your head up to see him chuckle, "It looks better long, I want it extra long when I come back!" He mumbles his agreement against the crown of your head.

When the sun rose high in the sky and the caravan was set to go, many of the servants of the Winery had expressed their congratulations and their good lucks to your new milestone. Your parents were more worried than not knowing their only child, nomad at heart, shall venture the world alone for four years away from them. You were crying angrily at how they made it so sentimental, forcing the waterworks out of you.

Crepus had already given his goodbyes and stood to the side with Diluc before the clock struck exactly 4 PM. The man's vigilant eyes however did not miss the fact that you and Diluc seem to lack the necessary sleep to power through the day, even tho half of it is already gone. How they grow up so fast.

When you found yourself bounding over to Diluc one last time, he took your hand ever so gently, still coming into terms of your departure. You only hum idly as he stares at your bare hands, before suddenly he presented two silver rings of infinity. You had to stop yourself from gasping aloud, "A promise ring, so that everyone in Sumeru knows there's someone waiting for you back home already." His red gaze averted to the side in fluster, gingerly sliding the band to your ring finger as he did the other to his own.

Home. Yes, Mond is now your home, and specifically next to him is where you belong. You shared your last kiss before Kaeya had finally called for the carriage to start ascending, on the dot. You peeked out of the carriage one last time as you waved your goodbyes to everyone, the silver band catching the light of the sun as it shines with promise.

Diluc wished goodbyes to you that day. And as he turns to his father to board their own horseback and carriage, he ends up losing two people on the same day.

Dearest Diluc,

I hope this letter finds you well. The Academia had been very accommodating ever since I arrived, there are a lot of people here from all over Teyvat, just like you had thought! I felt quite lonely and inferior when I entered but I've gained nice companions along the way and things became easy. With my exposure to our families' businesses, studies were actually easier than I expected them to be. There's been talks with the professors of me being accelerated half a year with my progress, it seems four years may not be accurate.

I've also gained myself a senior, a really kind and intelligent upperclassmen. His name is Cyno, a nice gentleman. He's been teaching me on weapon mastery since he's really good with a polearm. You use a Claymore, right? If I come back wielding a polearm, I want to spar! But don't worry about him, he knows of our betrothal and his boundaries.

How's being the captain there? I hope Uncle Crepus and Kaeya are doing well with you mostly in Mond's city now. It seems the Academia doesn't really receive letters for 'security reasons' hence why I haven't received any of your letters. But no matter, I'm sure you're doing far better than I am, you're much stronger and capable now afterall! Make sure to take care of yourself always, get some breaks and eat your meals! I don't want to see you so skinny and weak when I get back!

Forever Yours,

(Y/N)

There is bliss in ignorance. As you fold up the letter into the envelope, the door to your room echoes a knock before it softly opens to reveal your upperclassman. His gaze falls on the envelope on your hand in silent question to which you return with a smile and a nod, standing up from your study table as you followed Cyno out of the dormitories to the Academia's post office.

It had been a year since you left Mondstadt, a year since you've last seen Diluc, and a year since Crepus had died. Your parents, not wanting you to be distracted by the loss and dent your studies over such matters, opted to refrain from informing you of the grave news. It has also been a year since you started writing letters to Diluc and never received a reply.

"Time will go by quickly, and you'll be back before you know it," the Sumeru denizen beside you reassured you of your lack of correspondence and you offered a smile at his niceties. It doesn't worry you that Diluc wasn't able to contact you like so, you only wish that he was able to receive your little notes so he's reminded to take care of himself.

Yet as you pass the envelope to the postman, there was still an uneasy feeling on the back of your mind. You turn around with a curious hum, calmly and slowly scanning the grounds of the Academia before walking once again to catch up with your senior, clutching the silver ring close to your chest as you fell back into idle chatter.

Once you've disappeared behind the doors of your next class, a lone man stands straight on one of the tower's roof. The warm wind of Sumeru washes by him in a force enough to whisk away his hood, but he did not care. He did not care over the way his red hair spills all over his shoulders as it danced with the wind.

Diluc only heaved a sigh before leaping back into the shadows on his last day in the desert nation, finding no proper clue and heading to the next nation over. But not before stealing a freshly folded letter from the shelf of a certain post office.

Two years. Two years. Sumeru Academia sent you off on graduation with both striking awe and somber disappointment. After losing the prodigy Lisa, they were now losing you, the now renowned master practitioner of economics. You did so well, SO WELL in fact, that your four years stay ended in just two because of your numerous acceleration as a year in you're already conversing with the modern founders of the practice.

They wanted you to stay longer but you've had your fair share of knowledge and waiting. Everyone knew of your relationship predicament, understanding where you're coming from, yet to leave another prodigy to Mondstadt. It was unnerving for them, but your smile had been nothing but reassuring. You comforted those with the promise of correspondence and accommodation, if they so wish to find time and pass by Mondstadt in the future.

And hence you find yourself in Dawn Winery, your luggage and naginata as your only companion. You barged in like nobody's business and started looking around for anyone- Kaeya, Uncle Crepus, Diluc- yet no one showed up. Servants are scarce and almost non-existent, you were confused beyond comprehension.

A set of footsteps echoed behind you and you twisted around in excitement, only to see one of the higher attendants you still remember, Elzer. "M-Mistress (Y/N)! Y-You're ali- you're here!" You cocked your head to the side, unsure of how to take his slip up.

Ah, right, priorities. "Have you seen where anyone is? Kaeya, Master Crepus, Diluc? I passed by here first since it's on the way but I can't find anyone!" The gravity of the change gnawed at you from the pit of your stomach, and you nibbled at your bottom lip at the flash of emotions that passed his face.

"We're unsure where Master Diluc is currently, but Master Kaeya is in Mondstadt-" A lead! Diluc must be patrolling somewhere in the city anyways so you bolted out of the mansion, thanking the man before he can finish answering all your questions. As you left so loudly, in your wake the other servants were now aware of your presence, and the feeling of dread revives in the Winery.

Two years must have gone by longer than you expected it to be, this thought passed you as you went through the main gates of the City of Freedom. The knights that were usually on guard are those you've never seen before, and the people around you barely spared you a glance with no recognition. Even the ones stationed at the entrance of the Ordo Favonius HQ were completely new when you went over to ask.

"Have you seen- do you know where the uhm," you paused in remembrance, "The Cavalry Captain. Do you know where he is?" With how new they were, you figured Diluc would be known by his title instead.

One of them nods and pointed at the Cathedral, "Yes, Ma'am. He's just finished an expedition and are conversing with the healers in the church." Finally, an exact location! You thanked them and flew off once again.

And so you found yourself in front of the altar of the anemo archon, alone in the completely silent establishment. There were no whispers to guide you or people to tell you where he is, it was too quiet, and you were turning helpless. Offering your bow to the statue you turned to walk back down the aisle, only to see a familar figure staring at you as if you were a ghost haunting-

"(Y/N)?" You gasped and ran towards him.

"Kaeya! You're here!" You embraced him softly, careful of the confusing clothing and the hanging polearm on your back. He embraced you just the same, a hearty laugh masking the nervousness on the back of his throat.

"Aren't you supposed to come home two years later?" Kaeya inquired as he stepped back from the hug, suddenly smirking, "Or are you telling me you ran away from school?"

You smacked his arm with a whine at such a preposterous accusation, harder than you'd intended as you heard him wince. Oh goodness, your training with Cyno really made you strong. "Ahhh, no, no! I finished early because I was too good ahah, who would've thought!" The blunette let out a rare snort on that of which only spurred on your laughter.

The familiarity of another had eased the tension on your shoulders as you conversed freely about everything that had transpired for you, how things had been and- you've realized now just how tired you were from the long travel you'd gone through even tho you were used to such lifestyle when you were young.

After things had died down, you finally asked, "Where's Diluc?" And the twinkle of lax delight hardened at the question. He took a few seconds to start as his eye shifted left and right, and your knees were shaking from the implications-

And then he finally told you everything. The death of Crepus. Diluc giving up his Vision. Him disappearing for two year, without return. All the disaster that had happened the moment you left.

Your legs gave out as your knees hit the floor painfully, it will probably bruise later but you couldn't get yourself to care. If you hadn't left that day, would it have gone differently? Would you be able to make him stay? You should have been there to comfort him, to be by his side and yet-

Please tell me you're joking, you cried out so desperately to Kaeya who dropped down to gather you into his arms. But you knew better than that, he knew you knew better than that, so he didn't answer. And the altar behind you listened to the echoed screams and cries of a maiden abandoned by grief and love.

And Kaeya stayed for as long as you needed him to be. And in the back of his mind, a bitterness bit—

That should have been Diluc, holding you and comforting you.

That should be him, showing you where Crepus Ragnvindr's gravestone lies to pay your respects.

That should have been him who stayed.

It had been almost two years now since you've gone back to Mondstadt, almost four years since Diluc disappeared, together with him he took away your hopes and promises. The talk about your arranged marriage had become taboo to the people who still knows, but they don't comment on the ring that still lingered around your finger.

Besides finally taking over the business in Mondstadt (your parents had established one in Fontaine while you were away) and being pursued by scholars all over the world, you've been dealing with the pain silently and alone. Numbing soon. Every passing day with no news of him claws at the idea of him being alive even, and the thought sickens you to death.

It was one of those nights when you couldn't sleep and had decided to stroll around the city during the dead of the night to clear your head. Your parents had sent you a letter of recall to Fontaine, asking you to leave the business to the managers. They didn't exactly put it into words, but you knew your parents better than anyone: you should stop hoping he'd return, was what they wanted to say.

You rubbed your forearm as you continued your walk. It must have been your time with Sumeru that made you so vulnerable to the cold now, was your thought process as another chilly wind passed by you. And then you heard it—

An echoed cackle and a crackle of icicles.

The hairs on the back of your neck stood straight as you stumbled to the side, narrowly missing a flying icicle. Thank goodness Sumeru Academia required combats class, you thought as you darted straight through the alleys, the Abyss Mage hot on pursuit. This was the worst time to leave your freaking polearm at your house, you screamed at yourself as you vaulted over empty crates before coming out of another street.

“Look out!” A gruff voice shouted as a sudden wall of black? fire manifested behind you. You heard the icicle melting as it touched the wall and dissipated with it, revealing a figure cloaked in pure black. Back turned to you, the Abyss Mage continued its assault which was now focused on the intruder. And their clash started just like that.

You hopped back when another barrage of icicle rain was summoned. This guy had a Vision(?) but it was something you’ve never seen before, nor had encountered in your classes about the elements. You can’t leave him now, not like this, and so you picked up a slab of wood from a broken crate. Abyss mages have shields yes, you need to break that.

Without a moment’s hesitation, you leaped over the ledge that’s in level with the floating enemy (again, thanks for the acrobatic lessons) and brought down the hard wood over the mage’s head. It produced a sickening crunch as the shield broke under pressure as well as fall through and hit it square in the head! It dropped back to the floor momentarily, and it made you aware that you two were plummeting to the ground.

You pulled your limbs close and braced for impact- “Shit, I got you.” You felt something cold and thin wrap around your body before it guided you to the cloaked person’s awaiting arms, stumbling a bit at the weight. You grunted at the inertia before you met eyes with orbs of red within a shadow, it looked at you widely behind an owl mask(?) and you looked back with a squint. Who?

Your little moment was interrupted when the Abyss Mage started rising from the ground again, slightly swaying from the blow you hit it with earlier. In alarm, you quickly placed your feet down to stand, the chains around you easily slinking away back to the person’s cloak. The man then stands in front of you protectively, cursing under his breath, “You need to leave, it’s too dangerous.” There was a weird strain in his voice now.

This made you scoff, so loud and offended, that you felt the man be taken aback by your response. “You can’t even disable the shield in time,” you ignored the way he seemingly cringed back to this cloak as you stood next to him, slab of wood at the ready, “Don’t worry about me, I had lessons.” Now it was his turn to scoff but relented anyways, as if he knew well enough that you’re not falling back easily.

Batarangs flew from his cloak as it hit the Abyss on the arms and chest, screeching in pain at the unexpected attack. You rushed over and clubbed his hand that held the staff, kicking it far away when it was dropped. A chain then latches around its waist as it was pulled to the cloaked man, who delivered a quick kick to its stomach when it neared, sending it crashing to the wall.

That was so... exciting! You gasped at the thrill of the fight, slightly hopping and clapping at yourself as you smiled at the stranger with the widest grin you had mustered ever since you came back. His gait was tense when walked up to you, past you, in front of you as he looked around for any onlookers or dwellers of the night that had witnessed the commotion. “That was really cool, what kind of power was that? You look like you’ve done this multiple times before.”

You heard the most subtlest sigh when you were sure you whisked away his attention, slowly he turns to his side but not sparing you a direct view. From what you can tell, he wore a LOT of black under that black cloak. “You shouldn’t have stayed,” he started with a sigh as he finally turned to you fully, “Who knows what could have happened-”

“WATCH OUT!” You shoved him by the shoulder as you threw your slab with a force so mighty it broke the face of the mage, immediately disintegrating into ashes and dissipating with the wind. Under you your companion grunted from the pain of being thrown to the floor, and when he looked up, he was scrambling to catch you again.

The icicle impaled through your thigh coaxed out and coated with blood as dark spots danced on your vision from the pain and blood loss. The man pulled you up against his chest, hushed whispers of panic begging you to stay awake as he was wary of the shrapnel still in you.

But you were stubborn. And so you fainted.

The next day when you awoken in your bed, the night before would have easily been passed off as a fever dream if not for the bandaged injury on your leg that had you immobilized for days. When the citizens of Mond finally got a hold of you and asked about the incident, you gave them as much information as you could about your hero,

“He was an unknown hero that appeared at the dark of the night.”

Days passed by and you heard rumors in passing of the one named Darknight Hero. The name made you facepalm.

The faithful day happened three weeks after the encounter with the "Darknight Hero" when you finally recovered from your injury, able to walk around and do your daily rounds of work and deliver the paperwork of the margins of the sales and cost-effectiveness of your family's business in connection to Angel's Share. You had prepared so many documents all hailing from your numerous studies in the Academia, graphs and studies of the data Elzer had expertly combined for you lay in your arms in a bundle of folders.

The tower had to be carried by two hands, and you grunted as you bumped your bottom against the thick door of the tavern, using your hip to swing it open with mighty force. "Ugh, Charles, here's all the economic reports I finally finished after three week-" if not for the man himself, the floor of the tavern would have turned into a sea of papers as your fingers trembled and slackened at the sight.

His towering build, the thick main of red hair, it's all him. The moment the weight from your arms departed, you immediately stumbled over to him, eyes wide and mouth open to call out to him, "Diluc-!" But he flinched away from you instead of meeting you halfway through. And that slight movement halted you in your tracks, eyes wide with horror and pain from the rejection.

Diluc's eyes widened at the change, his gaze passing at Charles before back at you, reluctantly gesturing at your bandaged thigh he spoke, "You should be careful with that injury, don't want it to open up." His voice had a rough edge to it now, deeper yet still veiled with velvety smoothness.

"You're here," your disappointment from earlier was changed from the enlightenment of the situation. His jaw tightened at the sight of the tears that started falling from your eyes, "You're alive!"

Forced away by Charles with the promise of taking over the tavern for the day, you and Diluc took a stroll around the city. Enthusiastic of catching up, you talked endlessly about your years in the Academia and the last two years that you had stayed in Mondstadt before his arrival. Yet opposite of your upbeat chatter, Diluc stayed silent and forward-looking, offering only nods and grunts in between your pauses that asks him if he was still listening. Everytime your hand brushed his when you walked too close, he'd immediately pull his hand back and step away from your personal space.

It was a one-sided conversation. And it ended quickly as it had started.

You stood now at the stairs of the cathedral, overlooking the imposing statue of the Anemo archon. Your location made you remember something, and you opened up another topic, "Your brother, Kaeya told me about what happened four years ago." His apathetic gaze suddenly turned cold as his shoulders tensed. "Diluc, I'm sorry for what happened and-"

"He's not my brother, (Y/N)," you've never thought there would come a day when you'd hear such venom come from his sweet lips. Nor the cold glare that was now in full view, directed at you, "And you shouldn't go around trusting that guy, he's nothing but trouble."

The lump now stuck in your throat prevented you from responding, but you figured you didn't have the chance to do so anyways. As Diluc had ended his warning, he turned away and started walking back to the direction of the tavern, muttering something about work needed to be done.

You tried to reach for his hand before he could have gone too far, but you froze a few seconds away- and then he was gone, out of your grasp, leaving you alone at the steps of the cathedral without a look to spare.

Your cradled your hand to your chest as you felt your eyes water again, the overwhelming distance now opening the truth in your gaping heart as you wept in silence: The promise ring was missing from his hand.

Days had gone by after that where you sat in the background in idle wait, observing as subtle as you can be, hovering around him. The Diluc that you once knew was different from the Diluc who disappeared for four years, and the differences screamed at your face at every one you picked up:

His soft gaze now seems hardened and hooded, as cold as the cryo slimes and as deep as the ocean floor. Whenever you look at them, you always feel as tho he was years away, in a place unreachable. Even when they fall on you, there's a hidden emotion behind them, but they never once softened at the sight of you.

Around his hands were thick gloves of either pure red or another black-red variant. They were rough and never off, hot and grazed with years of use. It was different, so different from the white ones you had gifted him on his birthday. You placed a grape on his palm once and giggled at the memory, expecting him to look at you with recollection, but he only stared at the grape before shaking his head. And he turns away from you to get back at his work.

Diluc's hair was longer than you've ever seen before. It reached past the middle of his back when it had only grew by the shoulder when you've last seen it. It was fluffier and wilder, held up by a ponytail that you can't even see past the thickness. You loved running your hand through it before and Diluc had always felt at ease when you do that; you reached your hand out to touch the ends of his long hair, but he immediately turned to you before you could even feel it on the edge of your fingertips, caught by the cold squint of his eyes. No matter how many attempts, he always managed to stop you.

Another thing that had changed was his wardrobe. There were barely traces of the white knight aesthetic he had when you were still young, no, now he felt shrouded in the darkness of the knight. Made to blend with the shadows, he dons all black besides his undershirt. He resembles no trace of the knight he once was when you look at him.

The last detail you hated the most was the way he had been... secretive to you, and anyone in general. For this reason alone, you barely visited the Winery now, only coming there for business purposes or to converse with the servants that still remembered you. Whenever other matters were to be discussed, you're almost immediately ushered out by one of his men, no questions asked. This had became so commonplace that you started seeing yourself out the moment the air felt unwelcoming.

The more you notice, the more you felt farther away from the Diluc you knew. But this was the same man you loved, and still love. The grief had changed him, the disappearance had changed him, but nothing can change the fact that he was the same person that held your hand when it felt cold.

Speaking of, you clutched the hand you spoke of as you felt the breeze pass by you. The sea of Cecilias danced with an orchestrated flutter, as if singing to you in music of their petals grazing one another. Ah, you realized, this was the same exact place you first met Diluc.

"Is your hand cold again?" He spoke from the table under the gazebo where you delivered the perfectly arranged document. This time you dealt with the matter of tax revenue and compiled the business proposals of those that had attended the party he hosted with the seneschal.

You simply nodded and he sighed. The disappointment breaking your heart into a million pieces, "You should know by now to wear gloves or long sleeves whenever you're out. You must have gotten lackluster due to the climate of Sumeru, you should fix that."

You felt the tears bite at your eyes painfully again. As of recently, you've been crying a lot more than you had ever been in your life. And yet these ones flowed with ease, without a hiccup or a sob, almost liberating. "I'll be leaving for Fontaine tomorrow," the shuffling of the papers stopped behind you, "Flint will be handling the management of the franchise here, I've taught him the necessary computations so you can trust the reports he'll give to the Winery. Mother and father wants me to focus on the expansion of the business, after all."

There was a moment of silence before the shuffling began again and with that pushed the final sword into your heart. You bowed your head, smiling to the Cecilias that caught your tears in their petals, "Thank you for everything, make sure you take good care of yourself, okay?" You didn't know if you were talking to the Cecilias or Diluc.

But you felt lighter than ever, as if the last chain that pulled you down were finally broken.

And you took a small step, and then another, bigger one this time. For the first time since you're back to the city, you finally breathed in relief and without restraints.

Soon you were making distance and you were finally ready to go,

until a gloved hand pulled you back. Your gasp caught into your throat as your head whipped to stare at him, his eyes just as wide as yours. "What," he breathed out helplessly and you've noticed how short his breathing was, did he chase you? "What do you mean? You're not leaving forever, right?"

Forever. You felt the warmth of the gloved ones in your hand squeeze as you saw a faint light return in the depths of his glossy eyes, and you felt it—

The reassurance of your promise, as you squeezed back—

Underneath his thick gloves, red and black, you've finally noticed—

If he hadn't finally let his hand find yours, you wouldn't have felt the ring hidden underneath the cloth.

You beamed at him with eyes full of adoration and pure hope, of a grin pearly white that it almost shone as it caught the sun, he felt burned by it— but before he could escape, he was tackled to the ground with loud laughter.

@boxofteenageideas @creation-magician @your-local-venti-simp @indigodreamtime47

[catboynecromancy]

The first time Adam and Ronan share a bed they're both a little hesitant at first because of the enormity of everything: their feelings for each other but also everything they've just gone through. They're lying next to each other not quite touching but almost. Adam wants to reach out to him but is overthinking it when Ronan just lets out a small breath and pulls Adam to him. Adam, secretly pleased, takes a moment to himself with his face tucked in Ronan’s neck but he reaches for Ronan’s hand and links their fingers together, and it grounds him enough so he can pull his face away from Ronan’s neck and kiss him and he thinks about how he's never had someone to kiss goodnight before.

"Bedtime, Parrish."

Ronan kicks at Adam's ankle with his barefoot. The sudden, unexpected touch jolts him awake from where he's been dozing on the couch for an undeterminable length of time. Last Adam remembers, the late afternoon sun was still up, spilling in through bay windows and keeping him warm much the same way a blanket might. Now, however, the living room at the Barns is dark and the only light is artificial, fluorescent, providing no comfort whatsoever.

"Mm," Adam responds, blinking to clear the sleep from his eyes but his vision is bleary, spotty. His lids are heavy from the sort of exhaustion that is not only physical but mental, too. "Don't wanna move."

The other boy tsks and, though Adam can't see it, he knows there is a scowl on Ronan's lips.

"C'mon, you need a good night's sleep," he says, voice still hoarse despite it having been days since the terrifying predicament that nearly tore their lives apart. "Can't get that on the couch, so get your lazy ass up. Not gonna carry you."

Adam considers the benefits and disadvantages of refusing. On the former, curling up right here is easy, he wouldn't have to stumble upstairs to Ronan's bedroom, and he'd be a safe distance from the boy he so desperately wants to touch but is still scared of breaking into a thousand tiny pieces after everything that has happened. The latter would be how the couch is old, cushions a little too broken in, there's no warmth to be had down here, not anymore, and no Ronan. There's not enough space for both of them to sleep, at least not comfortably.

"M'getting up." Even though Adam says this, it still takes him a lot longer than it probably should to slowly, clumsily peel himself off of the couch and stand with a stretch-yawn combo. He rubs his still cloudy eyes, his weariness seemingly neverending.

Yeah, maybe Ronan is right. Maybe Adam does need to sleep properly.

Ronan gently puts his palm to the small of Adam's back, the ghost of a touch, and still, despite that he can still feel heat through the thin fabric separating them.

He allows himself to be led upstairs, going through the motions of brushing his teeth while Ronan makes himself scarce. Leaving his jeans and socks in a sloppy pile on the bathroom floor, Adam finds his way into the familiar childhood bedroom where they'd shared their first kiss what feels like an eternity ago yet hasn't really been much time at all.

They haven't spoken about that night, not yet, whatever they are is still undefined. Adam wants to ask, but he's scared. Not of Ronan, no, he knows Ronan would never hurt him on purpose. What Adam is scared of is himself; he's scared of how much he wants Ronan, of taking too much, devouring everything because his desires are insatiable, until Ronan has nothing left to give and Adam is left still wanting for more.

"Be back. Better be comfy before I get back, or else." It's a fake threat, a Ronan Lynch specialty. He waits for Adam to nod his assent before he excuses himself.

Alone now, Adam stands there awkwardly, listening to the sound of running water from the bathroom, the crickets chirping outside, and his own, wavering breathing as his nerves grow. He doesn't know how much time passes, the only answer is enough, because he soon hears the bathroom door slam shut and Ronan stomping down the hall. Remembering the not-threat, Adam scurries onto the bed, just managing to pull the heavy comforter over himself when Ronan walks through the threshold.

Adam holds his breath as Ronan crawls on the mattress to join him, holds his breath when Ronan grabs a corner of the same blanket to cover himself, holds his breath as they settle close enough for the other's presence to be apparent but not overbearing. Ronan is there, so close all it would take is for one, or both of them, to shift just an inch, maybe two, and bridge the distance. So close it would be nothing at all, yet is somehow everything to him.

He squeezes his eyes shut, forces the thoughts down. This is fine, for now, because Adam doesn't know where the line is drawn between them. Best to let Ronan decide, he's the one who initiated this, after all, and he's the one that has some semblance of self-control. Laughable, really, how Lynch is the mature one in this situation. Really says a lot about Adam, how he can't restrain himself when he thinks there is even the slightest thing to be gained and hoarded.

But, God, he wants to just touch Ronan, and is that so bad? Is that so selfish of Adam? To demand the affection he's so desperately wanted his entire life?

Ronan lets out a soft breath and, suddenly, strong arms wrap around him. He tugs Adam until their ribs fit together like matching puzzle pieces and a surprisingly muscular leg nudges between his, limbs tangling. It's everything Adam has wanted and more, his head spins from a mix of exhilaration and nerves, the potential between them paralyzing.

Adam tilts until his face is buried in the crux of Ronan's neck and shoulder, breathing in the scent of pine and lemongrass and sweat. It's familiar, soothing, but not quite enough. Underneath the blanket, the hand not smushed between them reaches, searching, until he finds Ronan's hand and twines together slightly trembling fingers.

Warmth radiates from one calloused palm to another, spreading through Adam, filling him with enough confidence to pull away and offer a shaky but cheery smile. He catches a glimpse of the look being returned right before swooping up, capturing Ronan's lips with his own. There's a spark and Adam can't tell if it's really there, if he's imagining it, if Ronan can feel it, too. Adam hopes it's not just him, prays to a God he's not even sure exists, because now that he finally has someone to kiss goodnight, he never wants to go without.

Like air, water, food, shelter, kissing Ronan is a need, not a want.

Adam pulls back but not far, his lips brushing Ronan's as he whispers, "'Night," and brushing as Ronan returns, with a reverence Adam could grow used to, "'Night."

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt.10)

WOW we did it folks. 10 parts to an essay that we're like. a quarter of the way done with. That's pretty great! More or less, by the time you finish reading this post, you'll have read 35k words worth of analysis and I'll have spent countless hours writing it. What amazing dedication we have to this manga! We should get an anime reboot as a reward!

Anyway, let's go crazy stupid trying to wrap up this arc, where we can see the extent of Natsume's selflessness. As we approach the end, something will happen to make Natsume's plans to distance himself from Mikan very difficult. Let us begin!

Also I've been forgetting to put trigger warnings up for these but I put them on the first few so hopefully you know they're all like that. Child abuse is a huge topic we'll cover throughout, as well as all the consequences that come with it, so be wary.

Chapter Forty-One

Medusa--Mihara-san--is amused to see that the frightening, powerful, and awe-inspiring “Black Cat”, who demonstrates a trained command of his alice despite wearing an alice-restraining mask on missions, is actually just a little kid.

Natsume doesn’t care about being impressive; he cuts to the chase, asking where Mikan is. Medusa makes his comments, but Natsume stays on his point: his new mission is to save Mikan, after all. Though keeping Mikan and Ruka safe had been his personal mission from the get-go. But just as Natsume isn’t interested in anything Medusa has to say if it isn’t about Mikan, Medusa isn’t interested in any topic that is about Mikan. So the small talk ends and Shiki is commanded to test the kids’ abilities.

Natsume cares about one thing right now and it isn't his DA alias.

They are in the midst of some kind of battle or standoff when Mikan reappears, safe. She calls out to them, excited to see them again. Ruka and Tsubasa are happy to see her safe as well, so they call out too. Natsume is not as thrilled. He’s good at staying on mission and keeping his attention on the dangers around him, like Shiki and Medusa, as well as the countless other Z members, all with mystery alices.

Mikan suddenly appearing and making herself known is dangerous, and she’s immediately under attack, unwittingly. He runs to protect her, using his alice as a barrier between them and the man who just tried to hurt her, but when he turns back to look at Mikan, he’s livid.

The art in this scene is so gorgeous, I could stare it forever. Look at how silky Natsume's hair is. Pretty.

Tsubasa and Ruka have never been on a mission like this. They were just eager to see Mikan unharmed. She was also just excited to see her friends again after being separated. But Natsume knows better. On a mission, you have to stay vigilant and always careful, and Mikan was careless. He yells at her, scolding her. But even through his emotions, he stays vigilant, protecting her even more when the enemy tries to take advantage of the distraction.

This is what he came for, not just to be the brains and keep them on track throughout the journey, but also to protect them, because that’s what he always does, what his priority always is. He will use his alice to ward off enemy attacks, and use his body as a shield, even if he winds up exhausted and bleeding and hurt. And he is.

But he still tells Mikan to stay behind him, to stay safe, so he can properly protect her this time, because he couldn’t do it before.

He doesn’t expect Mikan to get up and tell him that he doesn’t have to worry. She doesn’t want or need him to protect her; instead she wants to help him. She tells him, for once, that he doesn’t have to be the only one hurt anymore. He’s understandably surprised to hear this, because it means that someone other than Ruka has been paying attention. She understands that he’s been through the wringer, and she doesn’t want to just sit back and benefit from his effort without giving anything back. But more than just saying she’ll take on the brunt of things for him, she wants to help. She wants to be his strength, not a burden on him.

She has been noticing him, even the things he doesn't want her to notice.

This shocks him enough that it actually distracts him from his vigilance, and suddenly it appears that Ruka is in danger. He leaves her side just long enough for her to be captured by Shiki instead, and immediately teleported to Medusa’s side. They needed to get Mikan out of the way, after all, so that Medusa could use his alice, which he immediately uses to petrify Tsubasa’s leg.

Chapter Forty-Two

Right off the bat, we’re shown just how much the stakes have risen. Medusa’s alice is deadly, not just dangerous, and he’s already managed to hit Tsubasa with it. His next command is to have Yuka steal the kids’ alices, and to start with Natsume. It would make things easier on him, anyway, Medusa says, obviously privy to the idea that a child like Natsume wouldn’t want to be a child soldier at all, unlike Reo who mused that maybe Natsume would be more content with just a change of employer.

But Yuka makes it clear that her alice isn’t strong enough to steal all of the alices at once, trying to spare the kids from losing their abilities. So Medusa then goes to a Plan B, convincing the kids that his alice will only be temporarily affecting them until they agree to work for Z. After all, Natsume can’t really use his alice when Medusa has Mikan in his clutches. He’s been in this situation before, practically living in it, having the lives and happiness of his loved ones held over his head so that he will be pliant. Medusa comments that he loves torturing people like him, and he must not be the only one, since Natsume’s been tortured in this way for years now.

Ruka is hit in the shoulder while trying to shield Tsubasa from another attack from Medusa, and the shoulder region is particularly life-threatening, as it’s close to the heart and he might die from the loss of blood flow soon. Of course, this sets Natsume into berserk mode, but before he can use his alice, he coughs violently. This gives Medusa an opportunity to strike Natsume in his dominant arm, his left one.

He tries to use his alice, despite being at a new disadvantage, and still angry from what’s happening to Ruka. So his leg gets hit too.

Medusa gets temporarily incapacitated by Mikan’s nullification, so he sends Yuka to steal Natsume’s alice, which should be a walk in the park because he’s lost control of his arm and leg, so he can’t run away.

It’s here that Natsume reveals to the reader the secret he’s been keeping for the past few days, the one that we must now keep as well, that Mikan is Yuka’s daughter.

This is another one of those situations, where the stars align in all the wrong ways. Something you've always wanted is within grasp, but there's too many reasons not to take it.

Natsume stands there, unable to move, and ponders his situation as Mikan desperately screams for him to run away.

He wonders if he was waiting for this exact moment, if that’s the reason he came along at all, so that he could meet Yuka and have her steal his alice away.

Earlier, Natsume left a conversation about losing alices because it was too painful. He doesn’t feel the same way about his that the rest of them do. It’s not some fond part of him that he can’t stand to lose. He hates it. It’s been a hindrance since the day he was born. People of all sorts of organizations, including the government operated Academy and terrorist organizations like Z, have coveted his power. It’s put his loved ones in danger. It’s made his life a living hell. He’s been robbed of a fun childhood, of smiles and friendship, of peace. It’s stolen opportunity from him, so he can’t even feel free to pursue a crush, or make bonds freely, or let himself laugh. It stole his future from him, and he dies a little bit more every day. He won’t live long enough to go on a date, graduate, get married, get a normal job, have kids, grow old. He might not even make it to middle school, and he knows it. He lives his whole life in eternal emotional, physical, and mental agony. He’s always under the gun, always careful, always selfless, always defensive.

Why would anyone want that?

And this is his chance to lose it all. Things could be easier, better, safer. He could lose it and finally exhale. He could go back home to his dad. He could be an actual kid for once. Yuka could steal his alice and all of his responsibilities and the deadweight he’s been carrying on his back for his whole life could be gone.

Of course he almost lets her steal it.

But Mikan has been screaming in anguish for him to run away, and he remembers what she said when she saved him during the Reo Arc: that it was too late to give up, and that they should return to the academy together, because a bright future must be waiting for them.

And because of that, Natsume makes his first move to escape Yuka’s alice.

Does Natsume really want a future if his friends and loved ones would still be in danger? Would it be worth it if he was safe, if it came at the price of their safety? If Natsume doesn’t use his alice to keep them safe and protected, then who will? Who can?

Natsume smacking Yuka’s hand away isn’t selfish. It’s not him realizing he wants to keep his alice, that maybe deep down, he might actually love it. It’s not dear to him in any way. It’s still the thing that wears his body down and forces him to cough up blood. No, this act is selfless, yet again, because his own happiness and even his life come dead last to him. He has to keep them all safe after all.

Yuka snatches his wrist anyway, ready to steal his alice away, until she realizes she can’t. Mikan is using her alice from all the way across the room to protect Natsume.

So basically, the idea of Natsume leaving the academy causes this kind of reaction in Mikan, something Natsume has no choice but to see for what it is: fondness.

He looks at her with surprise, because this is an act of affection. Mikan has just used her alice to keep him with her. His life isn’t in danger, but she wants him to stick around. Now more than ever, Natsume can see proof that she cares about him, even despite all the bullying he’s done, despite all the mean words he’s thrown her way, even after he told her cruelly that he hates every single thing about her. Up until now, Natsume had no reason to believe she was doing anything but tolerating him, and though that was the outcome he was working for, deep down he does want the girl he likes to have some fondness for him too. This is the first time Natsume can really see that he means something to her too, as more than just a classmate or a partner. He is someone she doesn't want to part with.

And Mikan has fulfilled her wish, to be Natsume’s strength, because now Natsume is able to yell at her to duck and blow up the wall behind her.

Usually such huge explosions are the result of him at his angriest, using his ability to punish the people who hurt his loved ones. He’s probably also done similar things on missions, maybe even when he’s completely calm. But this time Natsume is weaker than ever, his dominant left arm completely out of commission, unable to move, under duress. He finds the strength to cause that explosion because of Mikan, because she wants him around.

While everyone is distracted, Natsume tells Yuka to go help Mikan, hinting that he knows her secret.

So Yuka stabs Mihara-san and has the petrified kids lick his blood off the blade. It’s confusing to the other kids why she would do this, but Natsume knows exactly why.

It would be interesting to see more interaction between Yuka and Natsume. Surely Yuka knows that Natsume is Kaoru’s son? It would be interesting to see if she noticed that his name matches Mikan’s. What does she think of him? What might their dynamic be like? I will always mourn that we’ll never find out.

Chapter Forty-Three

This chapter is the one that should officially designate this manga into the “tragedy” category. Yes, there’s been some heavy and deep stuff so far, most having to do with Natsume and the heavy abuse he deals with, but even with all that it’s managed to be mainly a cheerful and upbeat story. This chapter makes it clear that horrible and heart-wrenching things can and will happen, that we can’t count on a happy ending every time.

The kids are close to escape. They’re about to head through a warp zone back to school, and it’s urgent they move fast because the hide-out they’re in is currently imploding. Unfortunately, Mikan has dropped the antidote to the bullet that hit Hotaru, so she refuses to leave until she’s retrieved it from under a pile of rubble.

Pengy finally has a chance to prove itself, wriggling under and saving the antidote for Hotaru. It has helped Mikan, and because that’s the best thing someone can do, Natsume is grateful.

Natsume's smile (even a small one like this) has incredible powers, like giving robots a feeling of self-worth, making his classmates fall in love with him, and making me think he is a good boy. It would be irresponsible to overuse it.

Just like when Tsubasa showed his worth back at the high school division when he used his alice to help Mikan, Natsume has a new respect for Pengy, who was able to do something amazing to help the group, and Mikan especially. So he gives Pengy a slight smile. It’s really subtle and nothing outstanding on anybody else, but it’s a rare thing to get from Natsume, even for those whom he loves. “I guess you can be a little useful,” he says. This is the best sign of appreciation someone can get from him, and Pengy glows for a moment (ahh… the power of Natsume’s smile), until things fall apart.

The floor gives way under Mikan’s feet. They’re able to pull Mikan up, but Pengy is still too far to reach. Despite Mikan’s desperation, Pengy understands that they’re wasting time trying to reach it. Finally, after Pengy has proven its use to Natsume, it refuses to be a hindrance again, and sacrifices itself so that everyone can safely return the antidote to Hotaru.

They’re all through the tunnel, hit with the knowledge that Pengy is gone. They all react somewhat differently, but Natsume feels guilt.

Pengy's smile has evil powers because it makes me cry.

Natsume had considered Pengy a robot, something unfeeling and mechanical, just a useless thing Hotaru made once. It was something that could be discarded, and after it had proven to be troublesome, he’d even advocated that it should be discarded. He’d considered it useless all along, but when it really counted, Pengy was able to save Mikan and the antidote. It proved not only that it could be useful, but that it wasn’t just another mechanical robot. When Natsume smiled at it, it smiled back. And in its final act of sacrifice, it acted out of love for both Hotaru and Mikan, and Natsume feels sorry for what he’d said about it.

Natsume has a habit for establishing a bad impression of someone, and then having that person work hard to prove themselves to him. Pengy is one example, but he’s like this with Tsubasa, Mikan, and all sorts of people at first. People (and robots) that he despises until they show him what they’re really made of, winning his respect and sometimes even affection. It makes sense he would be so distrustful, seeing the life he has to live. Trusting the wrong person can get you hurt sometimes, and can lead to disaster. And having something useless like Pengy can cause a mission to fail. But Natsume is sometimes wrong about his first impression of a person, and the same qualities that could lead him to believe something is useless or annoying can end up being strengths that he respects.

Chapter Forty-Five

Yes, I skipped 44 because that’s more noteworthy as a Mikan chapter. Natsume doesn’t do anything I found particularly intriguing and I didn’t want to make anything up or repeat myself. In fact, for the rest of this arc, there’s very little left for me to say, so I apologize if this is a short analysis to conclude with.

The first thing we’ll address is the ESP and Persona discussing the insubordination that has just occurred. Yes, an injured student has safely recovered, and a Z hideout has been destroyed, but it wasn’t their plan for things to happen that way. Narumi needs a warning, for one. Natsume, according to Persona, needs simply to be punished back into obedience. From the way Persona talks about him, we can see how little he thinks of Natsume, how easy he can be to manipulate and control, which is all he is good for anyway. To them, Natsume is nothing more than a pawn in their game. Sure, he’s a useful pawn, the Black Cat that strikes fear into the hearts of the school’s enemies and successfully completes his missions even with a punishment mask on, but he’s still just a pawn. Nothing more.

While watching Mikan and Hotaru’s reunion, Tsubasa teases Natsume about joining the group hug. Natsume ignores him, and makes to walk away, but stops just long enough to toss his healing alice necklace to him. Tsubasa can borrow it to make up for having Subaru put Natsume’s injuries first. He makes it clear that he doesn’t want anybody looking after him, and that might seem like a snub, but this is kindness too. Natsume calls Tsubasa by his name, though he’ll do his best to avoid ever saying it again, and lends him a source of comfort and healing to pay back Tsubasa’s compassion. This is a growing moment, because Natsume has opened himself up to the idea that he could care about more people, even if it means more to lose.

Saying people's names is another rare magic from Natsume, I guess.

Natsume has learned things on this mission too, just like Mikan has. He’s a bit more open-minded now. He judged both Tsubasa and Pengy, and ended up changing his mind about them both, even if only by a little. He’s also discovered that Mikan has affection for him too, and it will completely undo all the effort he’s so far tried to make in distancing himself. It’s one thing to stay away from the girl you like when she hardly stands you. It’s another thing when she enjoys your company, and your feelings are turning into love. His feelings have intensified, or maybe they were always so intense but are just newly solidified, as he’s not hiding from them as much anymore.

He won’t be able to distance himself from her anymore, so he’ll completely stop trying.

Conclusion

Natsume has realized that Mikan holds a degree of fondness for him too, and because he is now very deeply in love with her, he will not be able to stay away like he'd resolved to before. Tomorrow we will begin our essay with Natsume's birthday, a very exciting way to start looking at his new approach to his relationship with Mikan.

The last essay (pt. 9) in particular inspired people to tell me that they were learning new things about Natsume, and as a result even loving him more, and that makes me so happy! Natsume is one of my favorite characters ever, and I want people to love him as much as I do! I love when people leave comments or questions! Really, I'm just so happy and over the moon that people are reading and enjoying, because again--this is a LOT of words. It's a long essay, and it means so much not just that people want to read about Natsume and his feelings for Mikan, but that they want to hear what I have to say about it! Thank you so much for supporting me! Isn't it exciting that we're about a quarter through? <3

I can’t put a song in the tags cuz I have too many tags. So. Church by Fall Out Boy.

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[bookwyrminspiration]

waitwait so ive been thinking of these ships (both platonic and romantic) for a little while and...

keefe/marella and keefe/dex/biana???

for keefe/marella:

i feel like they'd vibe with each other. they're both dealing with things intricately tied with their identity but still out of their control (marella's pyrokinesis and keefe's legacy) and i feel like they might find some common ground in that.

and marella is very observant, and very reeled-in, but she tells it like it is and if keefe is off getting extremely reckless ideas (like running away again) she wouldnt hesitate to call him out on it, and to sit him down and work with it. and keefe is a very easy-going person to most people, and he wouldnt judge marella for her ability or for her mom's accident. they would be good for each other, i think.

and another weird thing they have in common is that they've both been personally mentored by fintan, which i feel like is something most others wouldnt understand and something else they could bond over (it's all about the complicated relationships with authority figures, huh)

for keefe/dex/biana:

i just think they're neat.

- pyro

(also, yes, i am aware, how dare i put marella in a straight ship. (not directed at you quil specifically more so just. yeah))

hello pyro!! it's super cool to see we were on about the same page with some of the keefe/marella reasoning, as I intentinoally didn't read fully through this one before answering the other (I didn't want to influence my answer and just repeat what I'd read from you). yet we ended up with similar ideas!

for keefe/marella:

I know they're both seen in canon and fanon as these loud, boisterous, feisty personalities, but I think any relationship between the two of them would be the calm, quiet, understanding kind. the way Marella was reserved when talking about her mom feels more defensive than offensive when it comes to her personal life and problems, similar to how Keefe avoids talking about himself by literally not talking by shifting the attention to another (usually back to Sophie). I think they'd have a relationship that was very respectful of each others' boundaries, the kind where your partner sees you struggling and if you ask them not to pry then they'll leave you alone about it (as opposed to comforting your partner about it and giving it attention, which is also a valid way to deal with things).

and yes!! Marella is observant and we should pay attention to that more! She didn't just accidentally learn all the gossip in the Elvin world at the tender age of 11/12. she knows things and has opinions on them and isn't afraid to share them upfront--she told Sophie to her face as soon as they met that she didn't like girls and why, to use as one example. Keefe, on the other hand, isn't dense, but he's more of a stubborn, this is the only way I can do things kind of person--tunnel-vision, so I could see them balancing each other out. Keefe has the focus and narrows things down, but Marella makes sure it isn't too extreme and that other options are given the attention they deserve.

oo I hadn't even remembered the Fintan thing. Despite Keefe not being a pyrokinetic, I'm positive there are elements of his mentoring style that can be applied to both of them. Also just the experience of having close, one-on-one (or nearly one-on-one) contact with someone with such an awful reputation. Of working with someone you hate and playing nice for the sake of knowledge, possibly compromising your own values for a gain that others might not see as worth it. Neither of them really wanted to, but were put in a situation where they didn't really have a choice. Keefe could've left the Neverseen, yes, but that was more complicated and risky than dealing with those lessons. Marella didn't have to agree to the training, but she had to make the hard decision and realization that she could easily loose control and that there was literally no one else she could turn to.

I think that's a recurring theme for the both of them: not really having choices in their life, just the illusion of them. We can come up with a million different options for either of them, but the fact of the matter is hardly any of them are gonna be better, more feasible, or something they'd actually do.

for keefe/dex/biana:

There's so many elements to this!! I'll just briefly touch on a few because your ask was mostly about the previous ship.

Keefe and Biana have that element of childhood friends and knowing each other for so much longer than most of the others. They watched each other grow up and manifest and knew each other before everything went downhill. I think they could have that bittersweet feeling of connecting over the past to build a better future.

Dex and Keefe have this positivity that i've talked about before, just this enthusiastic support for each other. Keefe loves Dex's ability and the things he can create, and he himself has said that they'd make a great pair, and unstoppable due capable of causing mass chaos. And Dex doesn't really have anyone else that casually supportive of him--it different from his parents (specifically his dad) who saw it as evidence that Dex was amazing and used it to shove it in the faces of the people who'd doubted him. Not that that's bad, it's just different. And Keefe has a whole hot of drama and discomfort going on with Fitz and Tam, so it's nice to think of him with someone without a bunch of complicated history and just like a friends to lovers arc.

and then there's Dex and Biana, two people who are historically invisible to the rest of their group, working from the background yet playing essential roles. I don't know if I've talked about them before but I think they could really vibe well together. They're both siblings (in different directions but similar nonetheless) and had to force themselves to be included. they're also both in Team Valiant, which could be an opportunity to bond. One thing I keep thinking is that Dex being around Biana more often might boost his confidence, just seeing the way she carries herself, but I don't want to get distracted with that.

overall: these are both excellent ships!! there's so much to them to explore and I think the connections you've made are really cool, so thank you for letting me add my own thoughts and opinions!!

also I think it's funny how I said id be brief and then wrote three more paragraphs

[dekatsu]

how does the wonder duo talk about each other on tv/in interviews? (bonus if one of them accidentally slips that they're dating xP)

Let me just apoligise for how late I am. I had a lot to deal with.

~

[INTERVIEW WITH PRO HERO DEKU]

Since we last met, you formed a duo with pro hero Ground Zero. How do you feel about teaming up with your childhood friend?

I’m not sure how to answer this, to be honest. I mean, it feels natural to work together. I know most of everything about him and the same is true for him so we don’t have to be reserved with each other and can openly discuss what we plan to do, even if the ideas seem ridiculous. We also don’t feel the need to hold back on pointing out just how ridiculous the idea is. It’s reassuring to know Kacchan will have my back in situations where I find myself overtaxed. I value his opinion.

Working as a duo must be quite different than working independently. Why did you make that choice?

I believe it was overdue. We were working together most of the time, so much so that his team would work with mine even on missions we weren’t involved in. It seemed like the next step to take.

Who came up with the idea of forming a duo first?

The credits for this go to Pandora. She was quite fed up with having to play intermediate between our agencies and eventually confronted me with the idea. Even though she’s Kacchan’s intern, she always butts heads with Kacchan and felt like just her bringing the idea up would result in him denying it out of spite. I think that’s why Kacchan keeps her around, her spirit is not far off from his.  

What makes working together the hardest? In turn, what makes working together easy?

Trying to decide how much man force is appropriate for the mission at hand is probably the hardest it has ever been. Kacchan and I always fight with our team and than with each other because we believe that we can take care of things. Yet, our team has truly come together just to make sure we have more than enough backup, should something go wrong. I truly appreciate their worry, but we can handle things, most of the time.

As for the easiest, it’s probably getting Kacchan to strategies with me. Before, even on missions we teamed up for, he would mostly keep to his own strategies but now that we are a duo, he shares his insights and listens to mine. It’s another wall taken down.

Since you two became a duo, your efficiency has gone up by quite a lot. What's the secret behind your teamwork?

I guess Kacchan and I have always been together, one way or the other, so we can predict what the other is thinking to a certain point. We can come to agreements even if we disagree with each other, mostly because we know what we went through to get here. I saw him at his strongest and at his lowest. And he knows me better than I know myself. It makes giving each other the respect we deserve in our work rather easy.

We heard that you two moved in together. Was it because of your team up?

Ah, well. Not really. We moved in together quite a bit after we started working together. That was a decision we made based on mutual agreement, independent from our work.

You two have a lot of history together. Any funny anecdotes you can share?

The most recent thing that comes to mind is paperwork. Kacchan knows I hate doing it, so he comes up with increasingly ridiculous ways to dump more on me. The most recent one being me not doing the laundry, so I had to do his share of paperwork since he did my share of housework. I protest this strongly, though. Private life and business life should not be mingled together. I hope Kacchan grows up soon.

Your support items changed since your team up. Any you can disclose to us?

I have taken to carrying a few of Kacchan’s grenades around. specialised to detone after a certain time has passed. Against long ranged enemies, kicking them proves to be indispensable. A few other tweaks have been made on my costume here and there, to secure my safety in close combat while Kacchan uses his quirk.

A lot of your fans say your dynamics are quite funny to observe. Any idea why that might be?

We are not business partners. It’s impossible to switch off our relationship and in our downtime, while patrolling or in-between missions, we tend to bicker about small stuff. It might be that.

You two worked together with a lot of people over the years. Who else would you consider for a duo, if not for pro hero ground zero?

I would be happy to work with any of my former classmates. We worked together many times and I’m familiar with their thinking, strengths, and weaknesses. But I feel obliged to choose Uravity. She’s my shoulder to lean on and when I fight with Kacchan, she knows just what to say to encourage me to talk to him. It’s been rough on her and I truly appreciate her. She can read me like a book.

The things that people can expect from your team-up?

We are heroes who win and rescue. We will double our efforts to make our world safer. We are here.

And lastly: anything you would like to share?

Many people have been worried working together with Kacchan would be detrimental to me, since he is quite headstrong and intimidating for some. But there is nothing to worry about. If nothing else, I’m quite as stubborn, if not more. We know how much we can push and how much is too much. We do fight, we are too close not to fight but there is a line neither of us will cross, not since we got back together. And we work together; sometimes so well that we creep our own team out.

So, there is nothing to worry about.

~

does this read like a love letter? No? Very good, Deku tried hard to hold it in.

[ty-talks-comics]

The Boys Season 1 Review and Comparison

This was so cathartic.

In an age where we’re inundated with superhero media on all fronts with their bright colors, cheery jokes and positive outlooks, it’s easy to slowly become sick of it, feel the “superhero fatigue” as it were. Where Marvel ruins some stories with far too many jokes (looking at you Thor: Ragnarok) and DC is far too dreary and serious for its own good with a lack of levity, where can one turn to for a GOOD happy medium?

Well, in comes Seth Rogan and Evan Gold, the brilliant minds behind the amazing adaptation of Preacher with yet another brutal and slightly more cynical series. The Boys absolutely stuns not only by being a genuinely compelling series, but also by being one of the few adaptations that improves on the original medium in a few aspects.

Story

The story centers around Hughie Campbell and the titular Boys as they work to expose the horrific deeds of The Seven, a collective of the world's greatest superheroes, and the company that sponsors them, Vought American.

In this world, superheroes are everywhere. They're on breakfast cereals, TV shows, movies, pretty much every piece of media and entertainment imaginable while also protecting America from crime. Sounds familiar, huh? The kicker here is that, much like every asshole celebrity that lets the fame and fortune go to their heads, these heroes are massive cunts. They take performance enhancing drugs, routinely cause accidents that hurt or kill people, sexually harass people left and right and just lie to their adoring public like they’re children.

Unlike the books, however, The Boys team isn’t the well oiled machine that’s been taking down and blackmailing superheroes for years and the first four episodes are spent introducing the different team members.This is likely due to wanting to give people time to care about them individually and the limited number of episodes in the season. This definitely works in also retooling the characters themselves for TV since they may not have seventy-two issues of character development ahead of them

For the most part, the show follows the initial story beats of the comics with a few select differences before splintering off in an entirely new direction. Hughie’s girlfriend still gets blown apart by A-Train, he denies Vought America’s hush money which draws the attention of Billy Butcher and Starlight joins the Seven after the “death” of the hero Lamplighter. 

This also means that there's less time to focus on smaller plotlines and teams that are referenced to in passing dialogue like the Teenage Kix, a pastiche on the Teen Titans, or Payback, the number two group of superheroes to The Seven. While seeing the team take these guys down on the small screen would have been fun, I like the idea of keeping the plot focused on just the core group of antagonists. This way, we don’t have to slog through three or four seasons of small fry and get the big bads in the last few.

After the first half, fans of the comic may start to feel a little bit of the familiar, but then things start to take a drastic turn when Billy's pride and the rest of the teams sloppiness gets them all burned and branded wanted criminals. This never happens in the books because The Boys are funded and protected by the CIA, but here they’re just another group of concerned citizens that are completely in over their heads, adding to the tension and keeping everyone guessing as to what will happen for the rest of the season and in Season 2.

Themes

The original series was written during the latter years of the Bush Administration. Tensions were high and America was still embroiled in the Iraq War. The president was a simpering fool and companies were fucking people over left and right in the name of patriotism. Reality TV and the awful personalities on our screens were on nearly every channel and all of this only fueled the anger that is Garth Ennis’ pen and Darick Robertson’s pencils. It was a product of its time and it was perfect.

We’re now in the Information Age where superheroes and social media are the only things that matter in everyone’s mind, where women’s empowerment is stronger than ever and our leaders speak bombastically with shit eating grins full of lies. Rogen and Goldberg have kept the series modern and take everything to task.

Media. Marvel and DC are everywhere nowadays with some indie companies managing to scrape up their own part of the pie. The Boys makes fun of the seemingly endless cycle of sequels and the goody-two-shoes images of America’s favorite heroes. Everything is carefully managed and curated by a media team, similar to how Disney micromanages even the smallest details of their properties to make everything so sickeningly squeaky clean. 

Not only do the heroes stop crime, but they star in their own movies about themselves as well, some have sponsorships for shoes and have to compete with each other for everything. Almost everything is done for the cameras, even intimate moments whenever Vought can find a way to make it work. The heroes are never too far from the spotlight even when they want to be and oftentimes their acts can go viral without them knowing.

Sexual Assault. In the comics, Starlight is sexually assaulted by Homelander, Black Noir and A-Train in a gross scene to establish that there’s nothing good in that world. It was good for its time in its own dark way, but today there are absolutely consequences to such things as there should have been back then. In the show, Starlight is assaulted by The Deep, her childhood crush, alone. 

It’s dark and makes use of the imbalance of power as The Deep threatens to have her kicked off of the team. Soon after, Starlight comes forward with what happens to her, not allowing herself to let what happened stand and unlike in the books, The Deep gets his comeuppance. Though this also unfortunately leading to him getting assaulted as well. It’s powerful and allows for Starlight to move what could have been an image of weakness, though Vought uses this to their advantage as well, painting her a feminist icon. Best for business right?

Politics. While not everything has to be an allegory for Trump, it’s hard to say that Homelander isn’t just that. He’s what the president thinks he is, a strong, blonde haired man that the entire country loves. Homelander has the people eating out of the palm of his hands and he’s only feeding them shit. He hates the common man and will just as easily let many die if it can somehow serve his interests. He’s not above a little sexual harassment himself and he is just an evil bastard.

There’s also a subplot of military application of superheroes that I feel mirrors the discussion on the use of drones in war. Drones are absolutely deadly and have caused the deaths of hundreds, even innocents when things have gone really wrong. Even President Obama was criticized for how reckless and dangerous their use could be. The world could only imagine the hell that would rain down if superheroes were allowed to duke it out over national security.

Characters

The Boys as a comic series was an unrepentantly cynical take on the superhero genre in an established universe of heroes. The creator, Garth Ennis, didn’t grow up with many superheroes and actually felt disrespected by a few of them, like Captain America. He brought on the amazing Darick Robertson and other artists to realize this horrid world of drugs, hardcore sex and brutal violence. Many of the stories are fun and hilarious, but with the unfortunate feeling of a lot of them feeling one note due to the one dimensional nature of a lot of the “heroes” and the ever escalating level of black humor to the point of being cartoonish.

Our main character cast is absolutely fantastic. Jack Quiad’s Hughie is much like his comic counterpart, aside from being like six feet tall and not Scottish. He’s surprisingly smart with a lot of awkwardness about him. He has a good heart and doesn’t see ALL superheroes as being evil, but does have a slight sense of justice that wants to see The Seven and Vought taken down. 

Karl Urban’s Butcher was the absolute perfect casting choice. He’s got that wry British wit, the fury to capture Butcher’s rage against supes and can play a manipulator like nobody's business. His character arc is one of the few regressions that I can actually appreciate for how it's done, especially as things become more fucked because of him and how he chooses to blame everyone else.

Everyone else is a slight bit of an improvement over the comics versions. The Frenchman, played by Tomer Capon, is similar to his comics counterpart, but we’re given reason to care about him and The Female. In the comics, Frenchie and the Female knew each other prior, but I don’t think it’s ever revealed how they met or became close. In the show Frenchie frees The Female, played by Karen Fukuhara, from thugs that had been keeping her prisoner and he slowly gains her trust over the course of the next few episodes after her introduction. We see their friendship grow, learn a little bit of her backstory and get a better understanding of what she wants versus just following Frenchie around and being terrifyingly adorable.

Annie January aka Starlight, played by Erin Moriarty, is probably the second best change in character in the series. She starts out as a bright eyed, bushy tailed hero looking to do good, but after being sexually assaulted on her first day in The Seven, decides that it will never happen again. In the comics, Annie stays around in The Seven and takes the abuse for a little while before speaking out and fighting back against the rest of them. What makes things even better, not only does she challenge her uber Christian beliefs during an event sponsored by Vought, but she does so while also getting Vought to force her abuser into giving a public apology at the mere thought of her causing their stock prices to crash.

Consequently, Mother’s Milk, portrayed by Laz Alonso, one of the most layered characters in the comics isn’t made better, but the more ridiculous aspects of is character have been toned down. We don’t hear of his disabled mother and his addiction to her breast milk that fuels his own superpowers, nor is his wife a crack addict that makes pornos with their daughter. He’s simply a reliable member of the team that loves his wife and will give Butcher the truth when he’s acting like an asshole.

The series actually brings a lot of grey to most of these characters. A-Train never once shows remorse for his actions in the books, but in the show he's painted as kind of sympathetic, while still being seen as a monster for what he does and the reasons behind them. The Deep could go either way after his actions with a redemption arc or a full turn to villain, but is shown to be knowingly aware of how little regard there is for him. He calls himself a "diversity hire" and acknowledges his own ineptitude, but he's still an absolutely terrible person.

Queen Maeve may be one of my favorite changes that manages to be even more sympathetic than her already pretty great comic counterpart. She, much like Starlight, did want to change the world, but she let the apathy and jaded nature of the job take her over. She's an alcoholic that sees a bit of herself in Starlight. The change comes in how she reacts to what I think might be Homelander's most heinous act in the show. She shows far more remorse and guilt over what happens than she does in the comic, showing us a side of her makes you want to root for her and to see her get better.

The best character… dear Lord, is Homelander, played by Anthony Starr. Homelander is a bastard. The worst thing imaginable because of his sheer strength and power. He’s a sociopath with all of the powers of Superman and none of the goodness. In the comics he’s simply just another asshole. 

He’s the most powerful of the Seven and absolutely revels in the hedonistic lifestyle that he’s accustomed to while also hating being under the rule of Vought. In the show, he’s shown as being supportive to Vought, especially it’s current Senior VP of Hero Management, Madelyn Stillwell. He has something of a mommy fetish as shown with his interactions with her and later in the series actually expresses emotions over learning of his own tragedies, but instead of trying to change for the better, he doubles down on his hatred and anger to become an even bigger monster than before. 

In the comic he just wants all of the superheroes to conquer the world, but here, he just wants to hurt everyone who hurts him. He plays games like a child, threatening and revealing secrets to toy with people before absolutely breaking them. He's horrible in a very personal way and his sneering smile only makes him so much more hateable. He knows there isn't a damn thing you can do to stop him and he revels in that fact, I love it.

Pacing and Direction

Coming in at an hour for each episode, the first two to three can feel a bit slow. Getting all of the story elements to sit just right can take time, especially as new things are introduced every few minutes. This slow burn approach easily helps to build the tension before things get really crazy by episode four. By that point, the story is unfolding at a perfect rhythm, the team is mostly together, they’ve made their plans of action and it’s all so smooth.

Thankfully each episode is directed by different people to avoid each feeling so similar. The common humor and tone is kept the same, but some episodes are very hopeful almost before being met with one that absolutely makes you hate certain characters and the actions that they take. In particular, the episode where Hughie and Butcher visit a group therapy session and Butcher flies off into a rage about the weakness of the attendees as they basically lick the balls of the heroes that have maimed them was amazing. The director pulls so much emotion out of that scene and continues on as the episode moves along in a far more dramatic fashion than some of the others.

Some others lean heavier on the debauchery such as the episode where Hughie and Butcher venture into a superhero sex club and watch as these guys do some pretty amazing feats with their abilities in some really gross ways. There’s a good balance of levity and drama that makes neither feel too overwhelming.

Overall

With a great cast, impeccable acting and an unpredictability that I actually enjoyed, The Boys absolutely blew me away. I was wholly prepared to rip it apart if I felt like it didn’t do the story justice, but Rogen and Goldberg are fans and knew what we all wanted. It’s unabashedly a comic book show, but still has enough to it that people who have never heard of the series will be floored by how much they can find to enjoy.

It’s for the nihilistic and jaded comic book fan. It’s for the casual watcher who’s gotten enough of Marvel’s colorful displays of happiness and it’s absolutely for the happy person who just wants to have some fun with what they watch. 

I thoroughly enjoyed this season of The Boys. So much so that I’m aching with anticipation to re-read the comic series in preparation for Season Two. It’s unlikely that it’ll follow the plot much, if at all after the ending, but with Stormfront (as a woman) being announced as the new Hero joining the Seven in the next season, I’m excited as to who else they might pull. This first season absolutely earns a high recommendation from me.

[mementofloreo-archived]

@viisiond || cont. from this ask

Nettle finds himself smiling softly at Kaeya as he sets some tea down for him. It's a little strange that he already seems to feel completely at ease in Nettle's home- but it's a nice sort of strange. And a nice sort of newness, being close enough friends with someone that they drop by to visit unprompted.

"Yeah, Briarly," Nettle says. He shifts the little boy in his arms so he can reach for the tea and take a careful sip. Even with only one arm holding him he continues rubbing soothing circles over his shirt to keep him sleeping soundly.

He's been fighting a nasty cold, the poor little fellow, ever since the weekend- but both his mothers have work obligations today so Nettle is babysitting.

"We call him Bry." He informs Kaeya, "He's five- kind of tiny for his age, but he was born premature so that's not a surprise. He's relatively healthy most of the time, though."

He sighs softly. The gaze he fixes on Briarly is full of love- but it is also a little absent, carrying years of grief and pain and loss that Nettle has yet to talk about with Kaeya in much detail.

"...Childhood can be snatched away so quickly," He whispers, and it sounds a little broken. "So suddenly. So early. So many children who never even got to be children, forced to grow up almost as soon as they were walking and talking..."

Children like him.

"...then before you know it years have passed, and it's far too late to live any of that childhood you lost, and you ache for what you could have had, agonize over the infinite what-ifs..."

He feels his throat get tight, clears it, swallows thickly. "...Anyway. All that in mind, it just makes me all the more determined to ensure Briarly- and any other children I find in my care- that they never, ever have to experience that.

"...Everyone talks about how the standard should be that children are cherished and loved and supported. Given patience. Protected."

He brushes a little hair out of Briarly's face. "...but the reality is that healthy, loving families have become rather uncommon."

He sips at his tea a little more. It's easier to talk about heavy subjects like this with Kaeya when they're alone. With nobody else around Nettle doesn't feel stiff and anxious- and Kaeya seems to feel less compelled to speak only in search of a punchline. Nettle enjoys his humor- but he likes this quieter side of him too, and feels a little flattered that Kaeya is willing to share it with him.

[nighttimepixels]

i!! have a question i don't think has been asked before? we always see the skeletons being incredibly talented in their chosen fields of expertise, but what are some things they're just downright terrible at? which of the ladies can't draw for shit, who would rather sit at the bottom of a pool for a few hours than be responsible for a few kids, who always forgets to throw away empty milk cartons? stuff like that! gimme them Character Flaws tm because honestly i rarely see people focus on them??

Ohhh, this is a good one! I’m generally someone who aims to be positive so i tend to steer away from angsty asks, but that’s very different from character flaws; thinking about this sort of thing is a lot of fun too. Plus super important! … Also, I’m wheezing at “who would rather sit at the bottom of a pool for a few hours than be responsible for a few kids”.

So here goes! The major character flaws of the ladies, while also trying to not overlap/repeat (since several definitely share a few, but I don’t want to rehash, heh). (post-answer edit: woops these are all straight up character flaws, rather than ‘bad habit’ flaws, ahaha! that’ll have to be for another ask in the end XD )

Plus a bit of silver lining after all to heal any sad hearts ;v; Under a cut to save your dashes =v=b

Serif: Getting her to be honest about her negative feelings is like pulling teeth, oh stars. She’s a laidback lady, it’s not like she’s overly effusive with praise or anything; but positive and/or neutral feelings will come easily from her, with general honesty about it and not really hiding it. Sure she might tamp down on some flustered/’oh no she’s hot’ type reactions, but to a normal degree. And she’s fine with being honest with casual critique/review if it’s asked for. Any negative stuff bubbling up in her though…? Nope, no way, her mouth is shut tight. It’s to the point that you have to know her very well to tell the difference - and it’s definitely to a bit of an unhealthy degree. If she’s angry, or strongly upset, or so on, she just doesn’t talk about it.

Remember that line from Undertale? “nothing can be done about it, so there is no point in being morose?” It was something of a common theme in her Underground, but with all her responsibilities and her general personality she internalized it hard. It’s important to be able to relay negative feelings or just let yourself be mad, but you just won’t catch it with Serif. This one’s gonna take a lot of work to work through…

Vellum: She’s blunt. Now, this isn’t always a bad thing; honesty is great in a lot of circumstances, and she always hopes Serif will catch on too-! However, in any society, you have to know… when to curb yourself. You get yourself into trouble, others into trouble… you hurt feelings, or miss cues that might inform you better about a person, and sometimes even end up a bit self-centered. Vellum’s an absolute joy and a wonderful friend, but her bluntness can sometimes rub the wrong way.

Sometimes a softer touch is needed, you know? Reading people isn’t easy, and I certainly don’t think we should discount anyone who isn’t the greatest at it; but it’s also important to recognize as a character flaw. She’s not… the greatest at it, still. She has a bad habit of accidentally insulting people in utter good faith, making for a head trip and a bit of a struggle if you get into a tight spot with her where subtlety and creative liberties with the truth would be preferable.

Sapphire: Is absolutely bullheaded. She does any number of obscenely stubborn things with a grin and a good attitude, however, so a lot of people don’t realize it until she’s sort of… bowled over whatever else might’ve been happening. Think about in-fic, how she charged into your apartment; sure, it was with the good intent to get Addy before she could wreck shop, and with all the charm of her million-watt smile and sapphic-hand-holding powers, but she didn’t stop to ask, or explain much at all. Luckily for her, it ends up working out well because she is at least good natured…

However, it doesn’t always. She’s accidentally caused people to clam up further by trying to get them to open up, on the rare occasions she does get mad it’s hard to waylay her from a headstrong attempt to ‘right things’, and so on. It can be a bit exhausting to face or to reason with her, even more so because she is extremely smart and skilled enough to accomplish a lot. This side of her takes patience and, well, a lot of work to get through to.

Amber: is extremely soft-hearted. She looks laidback, yes, and often comes across as a chill charmer-next-door, but she has a soft spot a mile wide and untold fathoms deep. This seems like a good thing on the surface, but it also leads to her having a bleeding heart (… so to speak); she tends to negate her own feelings or sweep them under the rug in favor of others. Whether it’s not expressing her own frustrations often, or quietly taking into account everyone else’s preferences, weighing which one would make the most of them happy, and casually suggesting that as if it were the same as her own choice - well. It comes through in countless ways.

Her amicable nature trips up even more under the fact that most people don’t realize she’s such a bleeding heart, because she doesn’t act the way most people would think such a person would. So it becomes a spiral, where she ends up negating her own feelings more and more in favor of spreading a little more happiness to everyone else, in subtle ways they don’t even see. It closes her off to other people’s understanding, somewhat ironically, so it ends up being hard to get past that ‘wall’ of her own overactive empathy to actually get her to open up and think about herself and share more personal details and opinions.

Crimson: surprising no one, Crimson is quick-tempered. And I mean quick. For such a laidback lady, more than happy to joke and flirt and laze back with the handful of people she cares the most about, she can just as quickly snap, on her feet and barely - if at all - held back by those with her. It comes from a logical place - her entire life, she had to prove she was fierce and fiery enough to protect her little sister, to prove they weren’t going to be walked all over, to prove she was a force to reckon with. It’s embedded in who she is, now; and it can make it hard to broach certain topics or to get her to be vulnerable, emotionally most of all.

Her harsh temper is mostly directed on anyone who’d cross her and hers, but it can leech out and become a bit hairline in general if something’s gone down; she ends up hurting the people she tries to protect, and it kills her inside. She doesn’t want to be mad, not at them anyways - it puts her in a worse mood, hating herself for it, and self-perpetuates until she can find a way to eventually calm down enough to reset her temper. Her tendency to lash out like a wounded animal makes her all the more reticent to truly open up - after all, what if she lashes out when you’re even closer? Surely, surely that would hurt worse.

Scarlet: The most impatient of all the Lilytale crew. She can’t stand lateness - in herself or others; and she has very, very high standards. In fact, this comes from upholding herself to the highest standards, under the shortest of timeframes. See, growing up, as she caught on to all Crimson was having to do to protect them and make sure they were even fed, and Scarlet could get to school with at least a modicum of safety and dignity in being decently dressed/prepared and so on, she started to put pressure on herself. She didn’t have time to dawdle; she had to get smart, get strong, get fierce enough to be able to protect her big sister in turn. This feeling only grew as she did, and now, while she can have patience for strategic reasons (she’s impatient, not foolhardy), it runs very thin. Think to the fic, where she literally picked you up to take you to dinner.

Her impatience costs her the most in interpersonal relationships. Her own creeping need to be her best at all times as quickly as possible causes her to perhaps call things too soon with some acquaintances (especially in a peaceful world), or causes her to act rashly when an invisible clock has run out. She struggles to relax and take in the idle moments, something inherently critical for distressing and cultivating softer moments with those around you.

Pepper: happens to be the biggest perfectionist of all of them. As Cinnamon’s older sister, she had to help raise her in a world that would happily kick weak kids to the gutter if they didn’t prove themselves; she quickly became fiercely exacting, desperate to ensure she was the most capable fighter/protector, a stable provider, a monster to think twice about being messed with. She tried to give Cinn as regular a childhood as one could eke, while also encouraging her to develop the things she showed aptitude for… and trying to figure out ways to help her improve terrible weaknesses.

It’s something that comes from a… good place, but is inevitably a terrible weight on those around her if not checked. While currently she can at least acknowledge that she’s a perfectionist, she’s still not… apologetic about it, especially towards herself. Her entire life required her to be constantly pushing to be better; it’s part of who she is. And she’ll keep doing it, even as it sets her on a lonely island distant from others, if only to continue ensuring her & hers are safe & secured. This one’s another that’s hard to break through to.

Cinnamon: is, secretly, the most self-deprecating of all of them. It’s harder to see than most of the other flaws listed so far; insidious and quiet, it leeches into her mindset and affects her relationships to a strong degree. Perhaps the flipside of Pepper’s perfectionism, Cinnamon never feels like she’s good enough. She’s intelligent & observant to a degree that exacerbates this; she knows too well how things should go/what she should have done/better qualities to cultivate, but when she inevitably falls short, rather than a roadblock, it’s an affirmation of her status as ‘not good enough’.

Because of her life growing up, it’s a flaw that’s even harder to pick up on; she doesn’t seem to outwardly second guess herself, and doesn’t even react much to ‘failing’ a task. It would be dangerous to show that sort of thing (she’s more likely to show a bit of irritation if anything, if really stressed - but it’s all inwardly directed). She’s extremely skilled at countless things too, but it’s never enough to her. It triggers depressive spirals and an aloof, laidback attitude that’s something of a protective barrier to keep from drawing attention to what she perceives as her flaws, and makes it harder yet for her to actually be emotionally open with others.

Blade: is what might best be described as… morally unscrupulous. Considering her background, this is perhaps of… little surprise. What most has to go when you get to the point in a famine to consider eating other sentient beings is, well, your scruples. Stark morality has no place in the world hers became; while she wouldn’t call it a weakness, exactly, it only hurt worse the longer time went on. She had to abandon it or risk Falling. It lead her to being a bit more… callous, shall we say, a bit less concerned with just how grayscale ‘morality’ had become, how well you could reason through a lot of terrible things if it meant she and her sister - and, slightly lower but still important - their little community could survive to see another meal.

Nowadays, obviously she’s happy to not have to worry about cannibalism, but it definitely left a deep, unshakeable flaw in her personality. She only believes in the ‘morality’ of ensuring the well-being of her and hers; she tends to shrug off… well, crimes, especially ones that don’t hurt people in particular. She doesn’t understand people who get twisted up about morality, and tends to get a little annoyed, more and more when it comes to ‘playing nice’ especially ‘just for looks’. She’s survived a famine and came out permanently fucked up in something as deeply personal as her ability to use magic, to say nothing of her head wound; she hates pretending, hates niceties for the sake of niceties, and is liable to shut out (or, physically, kick out) anyone who tries to get her to be more accommodating according to their own standards, or more understanding of what she now perceives as wishy-washy moral banalities.

Twist: is, for lack of a better word, deeply rebellious. This one may come as a surprise for some, but like with Blade, it’s deeply rooted in their background and what took them from being “Serif and Vellum” to “Blade and Twist” - some of their backstory is still under spoiler-based protection, but essentially she and Blade got their… worst injuries a significant way into the famine. What happened - and what had been building - effectively disillusioned her in a lot of ways. She refused to bow to anyone’s rule anymore, knowing that terrible sacrifices did need to be made, but believing…. better ones could be made. Their lives were extremely rough beyond just the famine, to put it succinctly…

That rebelliousness really implanted in her; it’s one of her greatest flaws now. She questions leadership to a bit of a fault, and you have to really earn her believing you can make weighty decisions. It’s obstinate, and causes a lot of frustration when it really would be faster to fall in line; it also leads to her having a slightly devil-may-care attitude and needing a lot of convincing (and probably her sister’s direct opinion, who Twist trusts the most & for good reason) to not flagrantly disobey the law (eg, magic acts while out on the town on rare occasion, etc). It’s exhausting for those that do have her best interests at heart, but she’s extremely disinclined to listen to casual opinions; it’s a very good thing that she’s smart and can figure out the why of many things on her own, or she might cause a lot more trouble, however well-intentioned.

Alpha: is perhaps the most overconfident. It’s not without reason; as an AI, she’s obscenely capable & vastly ultra-intelligent, and has the tech access (/can perpetually gain access to it) to ensure she can learn anything needed or get anything needed. While not in bad faith or anything, it’s inevitable that this leads to something of a superman complex; she feels a bit invincible, and while some things take time or are inconvenient at a given moment, she knows it’s largely just a matter of time before she figures it out/overcomes the temporary obstacle.

This leads to, however rarely, a miscalculation in her own abilities - perhaps a less quantitative variable that she didn’t perceive as important enough before something terrible happens. It also leads to weakness on the interpersonal side of things; it can be a bit daunting to be emotionally vulnerable with that kind of confidence… whether for her, or for someone who might consider being emotionally vulnerable with her. As of yet, she hasn’t had to… challenge this overconfidence too much; at most, just better cultivate a bit of reluctant patience. It’s going to cause more troubles as time goes on, however, as she’ll be forced to face that not everything is as easily, or at least with steady work, solvable.

Glyph: is the most ephemeral. Fancy word, I know, but fitting; she’s excessively hard to pin down, both literally in a physical location, and emotionally. She’s transient to an extreme; she only very technically has a home with the Lilytale crew. It isn’t that the girls don’t want her there, they’re totally happy to have her and consider her as part of their motley crew, but Glyph herself gets… restless, if she’s in one spot for long. She tends to at least stop by once a month, sometimes staying for a week, others only passing through a nearby town to meet up for the day. But outside of that she’s constantly drifting from place to place, experience to experience, new sight and open sky to the next.

This… sounds pleasant, but it’s also very much a flaw. It comes down to an inability to plant roots, to feel permanent, to not want to. It’s something she is deeply uncomfortable with thanks to her backstory, and avoids beyond the way the Lilytale crew managed to make her one of their own - and even with them, she hesitates to get close. She has very few close relationships of any kind because of this, and is rarely emotionally open or available. While she’ll show up when she’s needed, she feels unreliable for how brief each appearance of her feels in the long run; for how unlikely it is you’ll get a proper hold of her at your convenience. Sure, it’s not necessary in the slightest to be at someone’s beck and call, but it’s also deeply isolating to never be available in your average day-to-day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oof! Now, all that said… I do want to point out the fun, warmer part - the silver lining, so to speak. All of these flaws… are also a big part of their strengths! Essentially, take their flaws, and pose them in a different light…

Serif: won’t reveal negative feelings, but is a great mediator and leader

Vellum: is blunt, but tells the truth at the most critical points where it’s hard to speak out, & inspires honesty in others

Sapphire: is bullheaded, but is reliable; gets even the hardest tasks done

Amber: is excessively soft hearted, but has the greatest sense of empathy and understanding of others no matter the circumstance

Crimson: quick-tempered, but is the first one to speak/act out against injustice, and to protect her loved ones.

Scarlet: is impatient, but is conversely dedicated and will never let the important things fall by the wayside.

Pepper: is a perfectionist, but is a hard worker that won’t accept failure and will ensure her loved ones get the best of anything she can provide.

Cinnamon: is self-deprecating, but conversely can see the best in everyone, and knows the inherent value that everyone can bring to the table.

Blade: is morally unscrupulous, but also can most clearly see what’s truly important in everyday life and overall; will always see to the well-being of her family/found family.

Twist: is rebellious, but can cut through the red tape and not fall into trusting someone/the status quo to the point of missing red flags; inspires others to question habits/expectations put on them in a healthier way.

Alpha: is overconfident, but also inspires the positive desire to take chances & to have confidence in yourself - all while knowing she has your back.

Glyph: is ephemeral, but brings all kinds of new perspectives to the table and has a way of seeing the world that broadens everyone’s perspective.

[stroni-bomb]

Siren!Taeil: Eye of the Beholder {1}

CHAPTER ONE // NEXT 

❃ Taeil didn’t know which was worse: being a male in a family of purely female sirens or being a rare phenomenon in a group of ‘normals’. He never had it easy growing up and going against everything which makes a siren didn’t make it any easier. He would always be thankful for that fateful day when Angel!Taeyong saved him. However when a certain individual puts all of N City on their toes as they’re a risk to another citizen’s life, why can’t Taeil feel nothing except sympathy towards her instead of the hatred the other’s hold? ❃

؂۵‗✩⑈

"Taeil," Taeyong gently shook the older brother and gave him a warm smile as his tired eyelids fluttered open. "You can go to bed now. Y/N's asleep, I've got everything under control."

He quickly checked on your sleeping figure in the infirmary bed. He didn't know how long he was out but he was certain that you were awake the last time he saw you. Slowly he stood up, giving a small thanks to Taeyong before leaving the infirmary room. He wouldn't go to bed, he didn't need to, all he did need was some fresh air and thinking time.

Quietly, avoiding waking up any of the other residents, he made his way through the dimly lit corridors until finding the back door. Sliding it open carefully he tiptoed out, allowing the cool midnight breeze to blow on his face. It was a quick walk to the lake. Well it was more of a stream really.

As he reached the water's edge he finally sat down with the grass underneath him, occasionally the wind would move the grass in such a way that it'd dance in between his fingers, lightly tickling him. He had an urge to shift into his siren form but decided against it, knowing the younger boys they're probably spying on him right now from their bedroom windows.

He brought his head down to the grass and lay there, silently. The grass moulded underneath him, leaving his temporary mark into the land. He could hear the lake gently lapping against the bed, running further and further upstream. There was probably a river somewhere nearby, acting out as a branch into the wide and vast ocean.

Ocean. That word alone reminded him of...home. Could he really call it a home though?

It always surprised him how he even managed to survive. No one had realised he was different until he was six, when sirens get their human form. His once loving family turned on him just like that. Why? He was a young boy, not a girl.

He had loved where he lived. The small, grassy cove reached out onto the beach. The grass had a different feel to the one that grew at N City, it was more...rough. Pretty much summed up his whole childhood. At first it'd start with the girls his age, pushing and shoving. As soon as Taeil retaliated though that's when the older sirens began to torture him.

They left scars but they were easy to hide with clothes, he couldn't say the same for his siren form. That's why he refuses unless necessary, he doesn't need his friends to see him like that.

"Taeil hyung!" A young voice yelled out, his feet flattening the grass beneath each stride. This was someone who didn't care if he woke others. Donghyuck. "What are you doing out here?"

Taeil quickly wiped a stray tear and lifted himself up from the ground. Donghyuck bounded into him, wrapping his arms around his elder brother. He awkwardly returned the affection, he himself wasn't much of a skinship person.

"It's cold out here," Hyuck shivered as he pulled away. Taeil noticed he was barefoot and only wearing shorts with a thin, white shirt.

There was a moment of silence between the two. A chilling breeze blew passed them both, pinching their revealed skin. Hyuck quickly brought his hands to his upper arms and rubbed in a sad attempt to warm himself up.

"You didn't need to come out," Taeil eventually smiled and brought an arm around Hyuck's shoulders. "I was just getting some air before going to bed but let's get inside now. You're right, it's freezing."

Maneuvering back into the mansion Hyuck looked up in awe at Taeil. He didn't say anything, he knew Taeil wouldn't talk about this stuff with him but he had so much hurt in his eyes, so much pain, yet kept it inside and kept being his jokey self. Much like himself. He admired Taeil for that.

After walking Hyuck back up to his room which he shared with Jaemin and Renjun Taeil finally collapsed into his bed. He had to resist the urge not to run back to your infirmary room and go to bed in the chair again, just so he could be there for her when she woke up. Maybe he was being too attentive though so he decided against it, he didn't want to give others the wrong idea.

Settling down under his duvet and forcing his past memories out of his mind Taeil was finally able to sleep. Before he was completely gone a small smile sketched onto his features as a quick image of you fluttered through his mind. You were sleeping, safe and sound in the infirmary two floors below him, a smile which mirrored his own blessing your delicate features.

؂۵‗✩⑈

"TAEIL GET UP WE NEED YOU!" A series of knocks hammered at his door as various voices yelled his name. As of yet he was in no real hurry to get up, usually when this happened -and it tended to happen a lot in a house with the devil himself in it- there ended up being no real threat but instead a cream pie waiting to smack him in the face.

"TAEIL IT'S Y/N!"

Now he was up. If his fate did end up being a cream pie then he can bet that whoever the pranker was would soon become the prankee.

Dashing into your infirmary room with a sense of urgency he immediately went to your side. You were out cold, pale and seemingly unresponsive.

Taeil's eyes scanned the faces which accompanied him in the room: Taeyong, Doyoung, Jaehyun and ... Mingcheng. Quickly doing a body scan of the latter he released a sigh of relief- she was carrying no weapons and she didn't seem triumphant. Always a good sign.

"Taeyong what happened? How did her vitals drop so drastically you told me she was doing fine!" Taeil questioned, he knew he should have never left your side, screw the attentive nonsense he would've been there for you when you needed him most.

"Her heart and breathing rate dropped after another... episode. We've put her on oxygen but we aren't medics Taeil, this type of healing is beyond my powers. I heal bones. Not curses," Taeyong said sternly, not appreciating Taeil's seemingly ungrateful tone.

He took note of the oxygen mask and evaluated your chest movements, not quite how he'd like it but assumed it was an improvement.

Suddenly a pang of realisation hit him, how he had forgotten the most important piece of information he didn't know. "Episode? Is Nev okay, what happened?"

"About time grandpa. She's fine, shaken up but fine. Your little friend here tried to kill her she's lucky she-"

"She tried to kill her Taeyong? But I thought she was bed ridden," it was more of a observation than a question, although he failed to observe the very obvious glares which Mingcheng was shooting through him.

"Did he just interrupt me?" She hissed to her mate, Jaehyun, evidently pissed off.

"He's on edge babe-" "He'll be on the edge of my foo-"

"Jaehyun. Mingcheng. Please go check on Nev and Leon, shoot I should really check on Leon...Taeil, could you give me a second? Come on you two," Taeil just nodded, not watching the three of them leave and not giving Doyoung much of his attention either. His full focus was on you, this wasn't the secure figure he pictured last night, no this was the exact opposite.

There was a gentle silence which occasionally was interrupted by the sound of the heart monitor. Every time a sharp 'beep' pierced through the air Taeil would look up and check your heart rate, noting down if there was an improvement or not every time mainly for his own sanity. He was so absorbed in...You, that he forgot about Doyoung who was sat on the chair opposite the bed, checking out his older brother's behaviour and gentleness regarding you.

"Why do you like her so much?" He suddenly questioned, cocking on eyebrow in a way which Taeil couldn't stand, as if Doyoung had just figured out his entire life story by watching him for five minutes.

"I have no clue what you're on about," Taeil dismissed by shaking his head. "Who's Leon?"

"Just some Lion girl who's been stabbed or shot can't remember the exact details, brought some half wolf dude with her or something too. Now answer my question." Doyoung leaned back in his chair now, his long legs outstretched across the floor.

"You should really pay attention to the people Taeyong saves. Maybe then people will like you?" Taeil sniped back, mimicking his younger brother's actions as he leant back in his chair. Debating whether to stretch out his legs too he decided against it, he was much smaller than Doyoung and didn't need to prove it.

"What's the point? They looked like a total mad show anyway. I don't waste my breath on obviously crazy people."

"Yet you ended up living with sixteen of them, now more if you count the mates. You should loosen up, you're stressed," Taeil smiled as Doyoung chuckled to himself. He had got him there, the residents at N CITY were far from sane.

"I should say the same for you hyung, you should let us in and not push us away when we ask you stuff," now Doyoung had evened out the score. Taeil couldn't think of a reply and the sharp 'beep' of your machine left him unable to think straight anyway as he quickly noted down the results.

"I'm gonna check on Lion Girl and Wolf Boy, call us if anything happens okay?"

Taeil just nodded in response, "see you wizard boy," he smirked as the door clicked behind Doyoung as he left him by himself with you by his side.

He liked the thought of that, you standing by his side, just the thought of you standing without needing support made him happy.

He wanted you to be happy but this was just the sympathy talking... right?

--------------------------------

That's chapter one guys 🤪 hoped you enjoyed and give my boy Taeil some love 💝 -Stroni-

[guessmonsta]

But what about an Ancient Greek or Roman au with the daughter of a high status family and her childhood friend/next door neighbour of just as high status and it's been expected that they'll marry one day and theyve always been kind of disgusted with the idea of marrying each other because they're just friends but then they reach their teens and hit puberty and she's just like damn. Imma leave this one up to you too bc like I think you'd cast it really well idk

《I actually wrote this while being in Rome so I kinda like the vibe of this one》

Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader (Roman High-Status AU)

July 13th, 41 A.D.

“I heard Father talking to Mother in the garden this morning…” Tetsurou looked up from his sandals slapping against the concrete pavement. The steady summer sun burned his eyes when he looked over at her, mud dusted skin and once preened hair. She was the definition of a disaster after tumbling down the hill behind her family’s estate. She fiddled with the hem of her skirt, a nervous quirk of hers, while her other hand ran against the leaves of premature olive trees. “So? My parents talk in the garden all the time.”“Yeah, well this talk was different.” She huffed. The fingers that ran across the olives seemed to tighten, dragging down overripe fruit with quick swipes. “They were talking about a wedding.”“What wedding?”She paused, sending him a dirty look out of the corner of her eye. “Our wedding.” She muttered, the apples of her cheeks growing red. Tetsurou stared at her in awe, the soft pitter patter of his feet ceasing to a stop. He cocked his head, staring at her in utter disbelief. “Whatever do you mean, our wedding?”“I mean-” She paused, taking a deep and steady breath. “I mean we’ve been arranged.”Tetsurou let out a pathetic noise, a whine, perhaps, and sunk to his knees. “Is this a joke?”“You really think I’d be joking?” She frowned, plopping down next to him. She slumped her shoulders and spread her legs, something her mother would faint upon seeing, and yanked a leaf off the tree above them. He watched her fiddle with it between her fingers, before ripping it apart at the veins. “Well, it could be worse. You could be arranged to Nose-Picker Naevius on the other side of the city.” Tetsurou shrugged, flashing her a coy grin when she frowned. “Please! Like I’d like to be wed to the likes of either of you!” Tetsurou almost laughed at her, right then and there. It wasn’t that he was fond of her, because he wasn’t, she was bossy and loud and let dirt sit under her fingernails, but she definitely wasn’t the worst possible suitor. He didn’t take much of a liking for girls, these days. He couldn’t quite understand the hype of marriage, and why he needed to get married anyways. He was a man, powerful as is, and he was sure he’d live just fine without some girl tied next to him. Girls were disgusting, anyways, spent all day weaving in the commons. __, though, __ didn’t seem like the type to weave, and maybe that’s why he didn’t mind her all that much.“Hey.” He peeped, “Give me one good reason why I wouldn’t be a suitable husband.”“You’re disgusting!” She fired back, with no thought in between. “How so?”She paused for a moment, eyebrows furrowing. Tetsurou kept staring at her with a smirk so devious, and if it wasn’t for her mother’s voice in the back of her head telling her to be a lady, she would’ve thrown him into the dirt right then and there. “Well, you cried after emperor Caligula’s death! The man was a menace, don’t you know. Father had him over for supper once and all he did was sass the cook and look at his reflection in the vases! Figures a narcissist like you would feel remorse for that goat.”“My father had him over for supper once, too, and he did the same. It was hilarious, Mother was trying so hard not to be rude, I thought her head was going to explode. I wish he was still around so I could relive that.” Tetsurou shrugged. “Don’t seem to be getting any laughs with emperor Claudius in reign, now.”“I think he’s much better suited as emperor! Laughs or not!”“Really? I saw him stumble down a set of stairs today and crash into a pillar. I could do a better job at that, and I’m ten.” __ pulled another leaf off the tree and tore it apart immediately, letting the remains scatter to the concrete. She wiped her hands against her skirt, adding streaks of green alongside the faded brown of mud. “Please! You can’t even take care of yourself, let alone an empire!”“Says the girl who can’t even keep her skirt clean.”She shot him one last dirty look before rising to her feet. “I’m never marrying you.” She stated. Tetsurou hummed, jumping up to stand next to her. “We can be friends, but I’m never marrying you. You’re icky and your hair’s a mess.”“Who said I was ever going to marry you? You aren’t quite the princess of my dreams, either.”“Father said, but I’m going to let him know that I would rather be thrown in the Colosseum then call myself a ‘Kuroo’.”“Yes, have fun sassing your father. I’m sure that’ll end up perfectly. Tell me how that turns out if you aren’t killed.”“Thank you, I will. Filth.”“Bossypants.”“Jerk.”

March 29th, 49 A.D

Her hands were shaking. Her hands were shaking and her mind was spinning, and oh god, she felt like she was going to puke. Her mother insisted that today, out of all days, she reunite with her childhood friend, Tetsurou Kuroo, the wealthy boy down the street who she was destined to be wed to. She insisted that she’d rather not, it was her cursed time of the month and God forbid anything happen to her whilst she was draped in her finest white silk. Her pleas had no force though, and she was dragged along anyways. She hadn’t seen the boy in seven years, ties being cut off when she turned eleven. He had changed now, for sure, and she couldn’t fathom what he’d look like.She imagined he’d be a lot more muscular. Rumor had it he was to be a part of the consul soon, so he had to be of decent shape. She hoped he had somehow learned to tame the childish fringe that hung in his face when he was younger, although she couldn’t imagine Tetsurou without it. Thinking about him put a small smile on her face, before her mother hit her on the arm. “Are you excited to see him?” She pondered, and __ could feel her cheeks grow hot. “I mean…” She shrugged, cocking her head towards the ground. “I’m a lot more nervous than excited. We’re not eight years old anymore, Mother.”Walking through the Kuroo courtyard made her stomach roil even more than it was before. Her mother grabbed her by the hand, gave it a gentle squeeze, before marching up towards the gate and giving the lion mouth door knocker a heavy rap.“I’m sure he’s just as nervous as you are. You do not need to worry, you’ve bathed naked with him before, you’re friends.”“Mother! That’s not helping with the situation!”Her mother only shrugged, straightening her shoulders when a slave opened the door for them. He nodded curtly, making way for the two of them to pass by. There was a rushed click of shoes against marble, and an all too familiar woman stumbled out into the commons. “Oh, __, __, it’s so wonderful to see you again!” The short woman hobbled over to her and her mother, throwing her arms around both of their shoulders. “My, what a beautiful young lady you’ve wound up to be, __. Tetsurou’s going to want to marry you right here once he sees you.”__’s breath hitched, but she nodded, paying her respects towards her elder. Mrs. Kuroo looked the same as she did seven years ago, except the roots of her ebony hair started staining a deep gray. “Thank you, Mrs. Kuroo, you look lovely yourself.” She managed to stutter out. The woman clapped gleefully, rushing into one of the doors at the end of the commons. __ looked up at her mother, furrowing her eyebrows in chagrin. “I really don’t want to discuss my marriage whilst blood is dripping from my private areas, Mother.”“You don’t have a choice. You don’t have to say anything. I’ll discuss things with Mrs. Kuroo, and you just have to sit there, drink the wine that’s served to you, and make yourself look presentable, understood?”__ nodded, relaxing her eyebrows amongst her mother’s violent gaze. “Yes, Mother.”“Good girl.”Mrs. Kuroo came stumbling out once more, an excited hue of pink dusted along her cheeks. If anything, Mrs. Kuroo was more excited about the wedding than either of the two actually being wed. “Tetsurou should be out in a bit. He’s a smart boy, he’s studying the stars. He’s been very into science lately, and growing things.” She boasted. “__ here, she’s very into literature. Her tutor remarks her as one of his greatest students. She took up playing the harp about a year ago, didn’t you, __?”“I did, Mother.”“Oh, isn’t that wonderful!” Mrs. Kuroo clapped. “It’s lovely to see you’ve grown up a proper girl.”She wanted to ask her what she meant by that statement. Was she not proper before? Of course, she didn’t mind her clothes getting dirty and mussled up her hair, but she had the decency to be respectful. Behind closed eyelids, she rolled her eyes, but kindly accepted the so called compliment. “Come here, ladies. I’ll have Brutus fetch us some wine while we wait for Tetsurou.”Hearing his name out loud made her even more nervous than before. She clutched at the ends of her tunic as she took a seat, eyes nervously darting around the room. Mrs. Kuroo immediately noticed this, because she placed a hand on her shoulder and laughed. “You don’t need to be nervous, my dear, __. He’s the same boy you knew when you were a child.”She wanted to retaliate and say that no, he wasn’t the same boy she knew as a child. The Tetsurou she knew as a child only took interest in dirt and gladiator battles, never science or stars. Mrs. Kuroo kept yammering away, but suddenly silenced upon the sound of footsteps. “Bragging about me now, are you, Mother?” Came a deep, hearty chuckle. Immediately, __’s heart dropped. It was him. She didn’t dare turn around to greet him, although every part of her wanted to. God, his voice was attractive by itself. Her mother slapped her on her knee, an indication to stand up and greet him. So she did. She slowly stood up, brushed off her skirt, and faced him, eyes immediately widening upon the sight in front of her. He was more attractive than she imagined. He was tall, extremely so, and had to be a good child larger than her. His face was thin and sharp, hazel eyes still youthful and attentive. He still had the horrible fringe, but it only added to his charm. He held a book in his hand, of some sort, and the vibe he gave off just made her want to melt. Forget the consul, he could be a god, if he wanted to. “Hello.” She stuttered, trying hard not to break eye contact.“It’s been awhile, huh?”“If seven years is while.” Tetsurou chuckled, the tips of his ears growing visibly red. She could see the slight shake of his hands around his book, and that assured her that he was just as nervous as she was. The laughs that spilled out of his mouth were fake, but she didn’t have the audacity to confront him on it. She knew the ugly cackle that he was cursed to, and she couldn’t help but wonder what kind of facade he had pent up over the years. They took a seat at the table, and __ didn’t dare touch her wine. Her hands were shaking so hard in her lap that she would definitely break the glass if she grabbed it. Tetsurou seemed to be sticking to the same thing. Although her eyes were glued to the table in front of her, she could feel Tetsurou’s eyes on her. This entire time, he’d been staring, as if he’d been analyzing her, like she was his prey. Needless to say, it was intimidating, especially when he was oh so attractive. At this point, she could feel her cheeks burning, every so often taking quick peeks upwards to catch his gaze. This time, once he’d caught her eye, she hadn’t looked away. He held her there with a stern gaze, before he took a quick glimpse at his mother before flashing her the nastiest silly face her could muster. At this, she couldn’t help but giggle into her fist. What he had done wasn’t at all humorous, but for some reason, she had laughed. She knew deep down in her heart that it was out of relief, that maybe he was the same, old idiotic Tetsurou from years past. Knowing this just made their arrangement all the more sweet.