#they sell exclusively cheese

[thumbtack-muncher]

Maître François Baudouin Valentin Désiré Dupin IV

Inspired by Rouxls Kaard and my French teacher, Madame C. They're objectively superior to Rouxls Kaard because they can actually conjugate their verbs correctly. SERIOUSLY, KAARD, IT'S NOT THAT HARD. EST FOR YOU, ETH MORE ME. (Grammar nazis, don't hiss at me. I know there's more to it than that.)

Also, their name must always be said in a French accent and may not be truncated in any way.

Also also, interacting with them is required to beat the game.

[formula-fun]

People desperately want the Costco thing to be a sign F1 had overplayed its hand in the US when USGP GA tickets already sold out at a higher price. This promotion is a benefit for Costco members, not a sign F1 is desperate to unload tix

The double standard too of tickets being completely unreasonably expensive and inaccessible until now. Are they overpriced or are they underpriced? Are they inaccessible or are they too accessible? Like what’s going on

[foldingfittedsheets]

I’d like to entertain and enliven you now with the saga of my Slut Era.

I’ve always been a serial monogamist and my shortest long term relationships clocked in at three years. So perhaps that’s why when I finally broke it off with my ex I went insane on dating. Part of it was definitely just that between anxiety and loneliness I wanted to fill up my time.

This happened when I was living alone for the first time, no roommates, just me and my little cat Leeloo. I didn’t want to come home to an empty house so instead I set up dates.

Most of these were disastrous. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I had a lot more first dates than second because they’d seen enough, including the one where people aggressively complimented me.

But after a few months I had four people I was seeing simultaneously. I was up front with all of them that things were not exclusive, and they all agreed, so no infidelity took place here, just a lot of hijinks.

Here’s who was on the dating roster:

• An apprentice woodworker that we’ll call Jill. I honestly thought at 26 years old that her being 21 wasn’t a problem age gap and I quickly learned that there was a vast gulf of both maturity and life experience between us. Jill described herself as “heteroflexible” and had just dumped her first boyfriend to flirt it up with me.

• A married woman looking for a friends with benefits. We’ll call her Alice. I insisted on meeting her husband first to be sure I wasn’t part of a cheating mess and he gave me his blessing when I stayed over at her house. Years later when he and Alice had divorced I would go on to sell him and his new fiancée an engagement ring and we both realized at the end how we knew each other and it was wildly awkward. Alice was nice, but a hardcore vegan who insisted I brush my teeth if I so much as ate string cheese before I could kiss her. She was also unhappy in her marriage and was feeling out if I’d want to get serious.

• A bartender dubbed Snakebites, so called because of her signature piercings. She cooked me a steak so raw it was still mooing and some of the best asparagus I’d ever had. In our singular sexy encounter she bit my nipple and I never got over it. Really don't bite someone if you don't know their preference and work up in pressure. We weren’t terribly compatible but neither of us were willing to admit it yet. Truthfully I considered still dating her solely because I desperately wanted her bathroom. It had all black tile, black toilet, black sink, a rain shower in the corner and a jacuzzi tub. I may not have loved her but god I loved that bathroom.

And finally,

• My beloved, who I would go on to marry, who was dealing with a lot of personal stuff at the time. Obviously that meant I liked them the best of all the people I was seeing because we were both disasters at the time.

So that’s the cast of this little misadventure. Now, our story begins with Jill.

Jill was someone who heightened my anxiety. Each of the three times she came to my home she brought and left more stuff. A self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans collection of DVDs. It was like she was trying to move in. She also liked to deride my taste in things, frequently calling me a pleb when I mentioned a band or show I liked.

She was working on a gorgeous little decorative table in her woodworking program. The main wood for the top had a beautiful dapple of knots like jaguar spots, and when she showed me a picture I exclaimed how pretty it was.

“Do you want it?”

“Oh- I mean it’s lovely, I wouldn’t mind having it, but you should sell it and make some money!”

But she was adamant. She’d give me the little side table. At about this time, Alice was starting to get awfully lovey for a FWB. I knew she wasn’t happy with her husband but I also knew we were not a good fit. Fun fact: Alice and her husband were step siblings with a pretty hefty age gap. They got together when he stumbled upon a kink photo shoot she’d done with vegetables. None of their family was happy about the relationship but they weren’t related by blood so it was fine.

So I was fending off more overt romantic advances from Alice, and feeling increasingly like I needed to break things off with Jill. Snakebites wasn’t ever initiating communication and I decided to pull a lot of plugs at once.

I ghosted Snakebites, told Alice that I thought we should cool it, and in a move worthy of a rom-com I asked my beloved if I could pretend we were exclusive to put off Jill. They agreed and I texted Jill to let her know that I was no longer single.

I was not prepared for Jill’s response. She. Was. Devastated. She flew off the handle. She’d just been waiting for the right time to tell me how she felt about me! How dare I do this to her!

What about the table?!

“You should keep the table, it’s gorgeous, you’ll be able to sell it, but I don’t expect a free table.”

Silence met me after that text. I worried and fretted and eventually headed home.

There on my doorstep. The table.

It was a small little end table, reeking of oil and polish, but very beautiful. I brought it inside. The little drawer didn’t even have a knob or guide rails. But it did have a handwritten bill proclaiming that it was costing me $500.

“I can’t afford a $500 table, Jill!” I texted.

“Well you kept saying how nice it was. I spent a lot of time on it.”

“I’m not saying it’s not worth $500” (it wasn’t, it was a tiny side table made by an apprentice) “but I can’t buy a $500 table.”

“Make me an offer.”

I stared at the little table. I did actually like it, but I worried about the repercussions of entering into this deal. Hesitantly I typed back, “$300.” I didn’t think it was worth that much but I didn’t want to insult her too badly.

This suited her for the night. But the next day she informed me she needed a new bed, and that she’d take her $300 in credit toward a new mattress. I spent the whole next day basically wrangling with her over what she wanted and eventually she spiked back up to demanding $500 for the damn table.

“Let me just give it back,” I begged. It was not the first, second, or even third time I’d asked to return the thing but this time she finally relented and gave me her address. Since she lived with her parents still I’d never been over.

I called up my beloved and said, “Hey, I need moral support, can you run an errand with me?”

They agreed which is how we loaded up a self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans DVD collection, and the table from hell into my little car together. Jill had said to meet her at one o'clock. I intended to drop everything off at noon and be done with this madness.

But while my beloved and I were on the doorstep leaving everything I heard, “Jill? You’re home early,” through the door. Her mom opened it to peer at us in confusion.

“I was just bringing Jill’s stuff back!” I chirped in alarm.

With little tact and a lot of speed we left her with Jill’s collection of things and then I sped out of there like my tail was on fire. I handed my phone to my beloved as I zoomed away instructing them to block Jill’s number. I was free. The tabletross around my neck had been returned.

It was about a month after that when my beloved and I officially began dating exclusively. I had wrapped up all my messy dating threads and it was a relief to be in a relationship again. They went on a trip to Mexico shortly after we made it official.

So I knew they were out of town. But next morning I walked out to my car and beheld a lipstick kiss pressed to the drivers side window.

I was petrified. I had just dumped three girls at once and had an extremely messy back and forth with one of them. Did I have a stalker?!

Of the girls, Alice seemed like likeliest candidate, being of a stronger lipstick variety girl than Jill or Snakebites. We had ended things a bit stiffly, but still cordial. She just laughed when I asked if she knew anything about it. “Nope,” she said, “but good luck.”

I’d rather have walked over broken glass then text Jill, and I’d firmly ghosted Snakebites so I was scared to reopen communication to ask if she was stalking me. I had to drop it. But it haunted me, that lipstick kiss.

For months I was jumpy, wondering which of my spurned lovers had done it. And why. Was it a threat? A goodbye? I lay awake thinking about it, worrying about how everyone I’d dated knew where I lived, which car was mine.

Finally, nothing else happened and I moved on. The kiss would remain a mystery and I had to be content with that.

It was a year later when I finally started filling my mom in on my dating escapades that I finally got closure. She was hooting and laughing as I went over the table debacle. Then I paused and added, “And then this kiss showed up on my car.”

“Did you like it?”

“What? No! I’m pretty sure one of them was stalking me! Who else would leave a kiss on my car?”

My mom started bellowing with laughter. “I did!” She wheezed.

Apparently. My mother had been driving by my place. And decided that a cute little gesture would be to leave me a kiss. And then decided to never mention it to me even though she’s never done anything like that previously.

“It scared the crap out of me!” I yelled while she collapsed with helpless laughter. “I thought I had a stalker! How could I possibly have known that was you?!”

“How could I have known you’d just broken up with three girls at once?” She wheezed in rejoinder and like. Fair play.

So that’s how my mom convinced me I had a stalker and I got out of buying a $500 table.

[paper-mario-wiki]

Shangri-La Frontier mid-season review

This is by far the best fake video game I've ever seen written in fiction.

Most MMO-centric isekai stories have trouble with providing accurate and realistic depictions of the complexities and minutia that give MMOs the allure they have. I've seen so much handwavey bullshit tacked onto fake-games that introduce unrealistically overlooked mechanics for reasons like giving the protag immense power just because they're the protag and the story is about them. A good example of this is another MMO Isekai airing this season, "A Playthrough of a Certain Dude's VRMMO Life", wherein the main character becomes extremely rich, powerful, and famous by episode 2 because he stumbled into a stealth archer playstyle, a build which apparently no human in that universe had ever conceived of before, and then making a fortune by selling basic potions to everyone after NPCs stopped selling them (another thing he was uniquely able to do because not a single other player had the forethought to spec into alchemy). These lesser, dime-a-dozen isekai add up to be boring fantasy strories with gaming elements clumsily put in so that the author can demonstrate how powerful the world's inhabitants are by showing their stat allocation screen instead of, say, explaining anything about what they do that's so uniquely powerful and how they figured it out. Ya know, stuff you'd hope to hear about from any competent story.

Shangri-La Frontier is a breath of fresh air for anyone who, like me, is sick of authors ignoring the things that actually make video games compelling in service of creating a stock-standard narratives in fantasy worlds because it allows them to get away with bullshit. I've always found it very convenient that many isekai narratives indulge in things like chattel slavery, because it's societally normal enough for the protag to purchase a beautiful, vulnerable girl to add to his harem (dont worry, she is always inexplicably in love with him no matter what because he's SUCH a kind master). And it never really seems to go anywhere. Because the Video Game Isekai, while an interesting premise in theory, is more often than not used exclusively as a means to simplify the structure of a world's power scaling to abide by an arbitrary set of omnipresent universal rules (e.g. what people who have never cared to look into game development think of video games). This anime, by comparison, is VERY clearly authored by someone who plays a LOT of games.

Every piece of logic used to drive the plot forward, so far, is congruent to a real-world example of video game conventions, and I'm not just talking about levelling up and selling monster parts. Story elements that I've rarely (if ever) seen explored in other isekai are ever-present and genuinely clever and amusingly introduced. My favorite example of this so far has been the way the protagonist has been able to go head to head with so many overlevelled foes in the first 9 episodes. The story of course makes note of how good of a gamer Sanraku (our hero) is, but much like in real life games, being super duper good at dodging attacks doesn't really make up for a 70 level gap in items and learned skills. For that reason, he gets his ass whooped more often than he actually outsmarts others (so far he hasn't beaten a single player in pvp). So how is he getting out of these situations without dying so frequently? Simple: he got access to a later area too early relative to his level (sequence break) and got access to a high level follower NPC that's been carrying him. This is something he acknowledges directly several times, specifically using words like "Emul has been hard-carrying me for a while." This, to me, is extraordinarily meaningful. That's something you can exploit in Skyrim, man. That's REALISTIC CHEESE STRATS. The excitement and wonder I find in this show doesn't come from watching the protag do something unexpected, but by watching him do something that I would think to do.

This knowledge the author has demonstrated regarding modern gaming culture extends further into the actual realistic nature of game design and community. The story exists in a reality where full-dive VRMMOs are the be-all-end-all of gaming, and given the prohibitively expensive nature of developing and designing expansive, immersive worlds, most games are pretty shit. It's been hinted at so far that this is due to a monopolistic megacorp which is one of the only entities rich and powerful enough to make a good game (the game in question being the one that shares the title of the anime), but so far the strife of the characters have been pretty centralized to the happenings of the game world and its politics. By the way, lets talk about the game world's player base politics, which I'm also quite pleased with. It exists in the form of guilds and clans who struggle for power not by participating in seemingly random pvp with other powerful players to see who is the most epic and badass warrior (again, like many contemporary isekai typically opt for), but by gaining actual realistic support from a fictional playerbase with realistic desires and playstyles. Some guilds are interested in lore, some gather for alliance and boss raids, some for things like animal husbandry, and (naturally) at least one is dedicated to trolling and PKing. Each of these factions, through the very little that we've seen of them so far, communicate on forums and only know as much as is reasonable for them to know. The only reason they give a shit about the protagonist at all is because he gained access to a high-level unique scenario quest that they want information on how to access, and the only reason word of that got out in the first place was because someone posted a screenshot of him with a unique NPC onto a forum, asking about it as "where can i find this pet summon, its super cute!" That's real. That's video games, baby.

I like this show a lot so far. I like that it cares about video games, but I also like its writing. I like the main character and how hes less of an ultra badass super cool guy, and more of an earnest challenge-run lets player. Like, a lot of his dialogue straight up sounds strikingly similar to Japanese youtubers. And he's naturally always quick to point out inconsistencies in the game world's logic. I ALSO really like his community of pals from a janky old fighting game, and I ADORE the girl from his school who has a crush on him and also just so happens to be an exceptionally high level player from a top clan, and how she had to spend 9 episodes working up the courage to send him a friend request. I love that so, so much, dude.

I highly recommend this show if you're into a single thing I've mentioned. The animation is great. The world is beautiful. The character design is immaculate. And I'm looking forward to watching it continue.

[mariacallous]

I’m not even sure whether I can taste pure Old Bay anymore, because the condiment is infused with so many memories of home. I grew up sprinkling it on everything—blue crabs, sure, but also watermelon, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese—and I can shuffle through decades of pictures from family reunions, county fairs, church picnics, and back porches where the iconic yellow, red, and blue tins keep popping up like someone’s second cousin, not quite front and center yet always in the frame.

If you’re new to Old Bay, get a tin and shake the contents liberally on popcorn or potato chips—a starter dish, from which you can and should expand. You’ll soon find that you can add the condiment to almost anything. One of my favorite dishes that uses Old Bay as an essential ingredient comes via an old family friend. Keith Davis is a Jack-of-all-trades: a fantastic general contractor, but also a church usher, a builder of wheelchair ramps, a Santa Claus when seasonally necessary, and, lately, a food-truck entrepreneur, grilling burgers and deep-frying funnel cakes for every community event and private party in the area. He goes by Mr. Keith; his food truck is known as Fat Boy’s Fixins, named in honor of the man who taught him to grill and whose Santa suit he inherited.

Of all the things Davis serves up, he might be best known for his crab soup, which he makes in ten-gallon batches and lets the local Ruritan Club sell by the pint every fall at the Waterfowl Festival, when somewhere between fourteen thousand and twenty thousand people descend on the Eastern Shore to see the work of hundreds of decoy carvers and local artists, listen to waterfowl-calling contests, and watch demonstrations of dock dogs, raptors, and fly-fishing. Davis is there every year, gossiping with his fellow-volunteers, talking with out-of-towners, and tossing hunks of crab meat into stew pots. Normally you’d have to shell out eight dollars for even just a cup, but here, exclusively for newsletter readers, free of charge, is the best crab soup you’ll ever taste, a shockingly easy, practically pre-made recipe for trying out America’s greatest condiment: Old Bay.

Mr. Keith’s Crab Soup

1 lb. crab meat (claw meat best) 64-Oz. bottle of Spicy V8 14.5 Oz. chicken broth 32 Oz. water 1 lb. mixed vegetables 1 Tbsp. Montreal Steak seasoning 1 Tbsp. Old Bay

Mix the V8, chicken broth, and water in a pot. Start heating the mixture, then add the vegetables, then the crab meat, and finally the spices. Cook on medium heat until the vegetables start to soften, stirring occasionally “so it doesn’t stick and burn on the bottom of the pot.”

[so-much-for-the-seashells]

Baking With BF!Dean Winchester Headcanons

✨ Dean Winchester x GN!Reader ✨

*sighs in 2014 was 10 years ago* Minors do NOT interact, this is not “rizz-ing!” Off you go!

A/N: I love writing these because they’re like half baked yet surprisingly endearing thoughts and it’s fun haha.

Icons by me!

All notes are appreciated! Hope you enjoy!

Content Warning: I have a bad sense of humor and make some sex jokes but nothing too explicit, at least I think so. Definitely still 18+

( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

-3 favorite things to bake with him

1. Pie (obvs)

2. Brownies (sometimes with pot…)

3. Cookies (all kinds)

-okay, now that that's been established...

-one day you had jokingly suggested the bunker should do a cookie jar

-this was taken seriously; not only by Dean, Sam and Cas; but also by literally every regular passerby. Even Rowena's made a batch of red velvet cookies. (We threw those ones away, we couldn't trust that they weren't poisoned, made of blood, or both)

-but if it's just the usual crew (you, the brothers, and Cas) then you have a weekly rotation

-and Dean regularly suckers you into "helping" him, even though you both knows he’s capable of being a big boy (and I mean he is a big boy if you catch my drift) and doing it himself

-those candy apple green eyes work wonders

-anyhoo

-one of his favorite, stupidly cheesy things to do is as follows:

-you’ll have a taste of the batter/dough/filling, as one does (it’s always good cause the two of you together are an unstoppable force in the kitchen) (alone is a different story- it’s usually Kraft Mac n Cheese cups)

-and while you’re trying it, making faces, he’ll look over and innocently ask if he can try it

-like “Can I get some, sweetheart?” (And yes he most certainly can get some.) (batter, I mean) (definitely batter) or “can I try some, doll?”

-and no matter how many times he’s tried it you’ll say yes

-so he’ll lean down, cupping your cheeks in his rough hands and kiss you as passionately as humanly possible

-like, these kisses could literally bake the cookies or whatever because of how hot they are

-and he’ll make sure he really gets to try it

-and then he’ll pull back with a smirk, cause he’s done it at least 30 times before and you still let him and still like melt into a puddle every single time. Without fail.

-you guys like to put on Disney soundtracks in the background when you bake. High school musical and Moana primarily, but he’s also taken with the soundtrack of Julie and the Phantoms. (He complained about the show being unrealistic supernaturally speaking and then was adamant that there should be a season two and cancelling it was a crime worthy of hell)

-also, rock, obviously. As a fan of Bon Jovi, you best believe you sell him on them and slow dance to Bed of Roses while things are in the oven. It’s only right.

-if you’re listening to heat of the moment and Sam the baby giraffe walks in he will get those sad eyes, making both of you scramble to make him something else, like some keto hidden veggie brownies or some shit, to make him feel better

-now, in specifics

-pie is for fun. You two usually make one to split for after dinner. Roughly once a month, but should be more often. Well, that’s not fair if you count creampies

-apple is his favorite, ofc. You use Mary’s recipe, and you’re the only person in the whole wide world that he trusts with modifying it in any way

-you also make them for him if he’s sick or if you guys have for some reason had a fight. The latter is rarer, but does still happen on occasion

-it’s okay though, because pie will always make things better

-cookies are almost exclusively for the jar. These are made on random frequencies, usually a lot at a time.

-he likes butterscotch a lot, and you find a way to mix your favorite flavors into either one monstrosity or one beauty of a cookie

-you guys have in fact made your own recipe. It’s awesome. Like, prized possession material.

-and then brownies

-they’re literally just pimped up store bought mix. Preferably Ghirardelli, for maximum bougie-ness

-and then sometimes you guys add some fun time grass

-you’ll do that when you just want to have a soft night. You’ll always way up to him laying on you and holding you like a koala though- may your back be prepared

-overall he just really enjoys spending time with you in any way that he can and baking is a great way to do that

-Dean Winchester is precious

-I rest my case

If you have any ideas for more headcanons, send a request! My box is always open!

Xx

[bethdehart]

The Cheesemonger

A renowned cheese merchant in the heart of Edorim. Her family makes the cheese and she sells it, and rodents of all sorts travel from all across Biriland to purchase her cheeses. She has a signet ring on her tail to give all the cheeses a stamp of authenticity!

(Check out my ko-fi! I have a shop and exclusive perks for supporters! https://ko-fi.com/bethdehart )

[hsuhaohsuhaohsuhao]

Im coming to u guys with a deal, and im coming to u guys first because I trust that u arent going to screw me on this one. To cut it to the chase I invented a new kind of sandwich that I think could be very big, and very very big for your wallet if you get in on the ground floor of this.

Point is, the sandwich is called the three tenets, which are the three pickle slices u can see on the sandwich, and by the way the sandwich is open faced. Under it is a melted cheddar cheese, and some butter, which is more crucial than u could ever imagine.

Its really easy to make, u dont even need a SLICE of cheddar cheese, a HUNK will work as well, since when u throw the whole tuing in the microwave the hunk will melt down to the shape u see in the picture anyway. I wanted to get a more intimate second shot of the sandwich but I ended up taking a bite, irresistible sandwich u can tell...

Margins on this are awesome. Its really cheap to make, if ur making sandwiches it only takes one slice of bread which means double the sandwich and pickles which most people r asking for u to take off anyway i bet and cheese is goodstuff, yeah, but thats the only expensive bit not meat or anything. I bet u have plenty of butter laying around too, or a butter substitite like margarin. Dont worry, i wont tell. Different cheeses, doesnt have to be cheddar...any tenet will work as well but i highly dont recommend using something other than pickle, hard to get your hands on a lot of really salty stuff like it, which u need to keep people coming back for more, basically addictide. Another about this sandwuich is how versatile it is - just like the deal im offering U...;

This is exclusive on the up+up, u cant sell this sandwich without my permichin, so im selling permichin. The margins on this are so good, u wont even notice taking my cut on your sandw sales.  

So what do u say, are we doing this ..?

[kentuckycaverats]

Is there anywhere I can read more about del? Any tags or anything I can catch up on? I've always adored her but I've been too shy to ask.

wahhh tyyy for asking about her!! my babygirl my sweet cheese my silly rabbit....im working on a carrd for her rn but dont have everything organized in one place yet; it's all (messily) spread across my #del #delsidhe #dellan and #edinburgh by night tags atm. but the most important things about her concept/story are:

she's a thinblood sired by a toreador antitribu (sire: sabina callister, working under bishop/baali/methuselah petaniqua)

she was sabina's thrall first, ghouled at 16 > sabina forced her to watch while she drained del's sister > del took her own life in retaliation > sabina embraced her to maintain control

del's mortal name was hau tsuga and her bio parents' surname is fujinami. after her embrace she took her late sister (delphine tsuga)'s first name to honor her, and her bio parents' surname to protect any vampiric retaliation from falling on her adoptive parents. she goes by delphine fujinami for most of the chronicle but still considers hau tsuga her "real" name

she's a maeghar! her fae mien is aelsidhe, the dragonwind, keeper of joy. del was embraced before she and aelsidhe chrysalized, and ael should have been destroyed by the embrace. good news: she wasnt! bad news: instead she was imprisoned in the nightmare hell dimension for 7+ years

petaniqua serves the demon foebok, wyrm of fear. theres a prophecy about aelsidhe and foebok; either he'll devour her and purge joy from the world, or she'll defeat him to banish fear

del's bio parents were ghouled and paid off shortly after her birth, tasked with raising petaniqua's sacrificial lamb. when del escaped them petaniqua sent sabina to be her handler instead

del staked and diablerized sabina almost immediately after her embrace. this backfired spectacularly and is generally considered a bad move

there are no other thinbloods in this chronicle so she's never met another like her. generally operates under the assumption that thinbloods will be bloodhunted on sight

her toreador anti beast is LOUD and craves violence in perpetuity. this does help sell her cover story of "im a brujah mind your fuckin' business"

her fang gang coterie consists of bestie mitra harker (ravnos courier), benedetta fiorelli (lasombra nun) and sami dunnett (brujah hacker). she loves her coterie with her whole entire heart and ass

having seen her mortal sister eaten, and her first meal as a kindred having been her sire, del is a blood leech with a mortal prey exclusion. she's also unbondable (merit) and unable to bind others (thinblood)

everyone in the coterie has fed from her at least twice. emergency vitae juice box

she cant use thinblood alchemy with the mortal prey exclusion so she's built like a toreador with celerity and auspex (and later learned blood sorcery)

her main feeding source for the first 2/3 of the chronicle was another kindred who she overpowered and kept hostage in a storage locker. he mistook her for a mortal, courtesy of her perma blush of life, and tried to feed from her. she was faster and has no moral qualms about this

she's got the baby teeth flaw so she has to first make an incision with a blade in order to feed. mostly she uses the lesbian flag print pocket knife mitra gifted her

learned the hard way that sire sabina was protected by a sabbat anti-diablerie ritual and still kicking around both in del's head and in the nightmare dimension as aelsidhe's warden. in exchange for the coterie helping clear her name amidst active bloodhunt, del's then-situationship (lady tara clellan, tremere), helped exorcise sabina for good

mitra has a capuchin famulus named neeps who she treats/spoils like her niece

haaaaaaaated toreador for the longest time. swayed primarily by her friendship with fellow toreador meaghar genevieve orseau, toreador primogen of paris. honorable mention to anarch grafitti artist june and disgraced prince l'dara too

tara was into del from the beginning and del wanted nothing to do with her at first. after soooo so much patience on tara's part + sooooo much cagey aloofness on del's + tara getting blood boiled and nearly dying in del's arms, they finally got together. immediately uhauled and adopted an oriental shorthair named hex

#1 proponent of Fuck 'Em, Kill Your Sires. Or I Will

responsible for the deaths of three (3) of mitra's exes, including his sire

touchstones are her adoptive parents and a butch mechanic who helped her fix up an old motorcycle affectionately referred to as the dyke bike

her convictions are Mortals Arent Expendable, Indulge Curiosity, and Submit To No One

tara's been teaching her blood sorcery, and has also been her primary food source since they got together. del let the guy in the storage locker burn when a nearby building caught fire--easy cleanup for her

favorite weapon is Gun. she has a pistol, a sniper rifle, and a torrid love affair with the custom shotgun theo bell let her borrow that one time

she hangs out at this 24 hour pottery studio all the time and has befriended a gaggle of mortal grandmas she calls the golden girls. they will not stop giving her edibles

in order to reunite + chrysalize with aelsidhe, she had to undergo a ritual via mage (not tremere, proper Awakened mage) to temporarily make her a living mortal again. at the end of it, another painful death

but shes never feared death. her life didnt start until she died, so freedom and death have always been synonymous. many many times petaniqua and her cronies have threatened del's loved ones, and just as many times del has promised/threatened to kill herself again in retaliation. counterspells your ultimatum with another ultimatum

she also amputated her arm that one time petaniqua dominated her into carving her own True Name into it. girl who will always find a route to freedom and defiance at any cost

three (3) different malkavians, including petaniqua herself, have told her she's out of her mind insane

proposed to tara without a ring, on the steps of a recently-detonated elysium, moments before being yanked away by justicar lucinde for interrogation, with "hey if we survive the night we should get married, alright?" and it worked

del's adoptive parents/touchstones, the tsugas, are also changelings. they're aelsidhe's sworn knights and their previous incarnations died protecting her

the first kindred del met after arriving in edinburgh was neville, a self-proclaimed caitiff who's secretly a kiasyd. del works at the bookshop he owns and lives in the basement of the shop with tara. neville's a sort of surrogate grandpa figure to del and has almost been killed like 5 times this chronicle

del and aelsidhe finally reunited / chrysalized / vanquished foebok last session! she's now called delsidhe tsuga

[catindabag]

Every District “facts” and “local info” according to Festus Creed and old Professor Dementia Demigloss in my TBOSAS on Crack!AU.

[Read this for context]

District 1

Provides the Capitol chocolate coins!

Luxury items Fake gold.

Fashionista Land.

Their mayor is a ✨diva✨ who lives in a gold encrusted treehouse.

District 2

Provides the Capitol hugs and cuddles!

Masonry Mason jars??

Throws bread to their dead.

Their mayor (Mr. Rocky Rock O’Rolly) is a piece of rock. #immortalmayor2me&u

District 3

Provides the Capitol “free” flat screen televisions and spy cam teddy bears.

Technology Techno Pop Robo Cop??

They can hack your ass.

Their mayor has a flying wheelchair.

District 4

Provides the Capitol sea witches and lobster guards.

Fishing Catfishing. Duh.

They don’t serve bacon pizzas in D4. They might not even know what a pizza is (according to their local gremlin).

Their mayor is a self proclaimed mermaid.

District 5

Provides the Capitol the strongest Hello Kitty duct tape in the world.

Electricity Power Rangers!

Clemmie’s daddy is the shadow king of D5.

Their mayor is a homeless electrician.

District 6

Provides the Capitol Thomas & Friends.

Transportation Transformers??

Nero Price used to be the shadow king of D6, but now he’s a werewolf.��

Their mayor only cares about her exclusive toy train collection.

District 7

Provides the Capitol wooden chairs and “free” firewood.

Lumber Cucumber??

They can throw and swing their axes taxes!

Their hobo mayor is a self proclaimed “flower child” who can talk to trees and bees.

District 8

Provides the Capitol sparkly mini skirts and sexy lingeries??

Textiles Project Runway.

Apple berry pies and cookies are their only “accepted” currency.

Their weird mayor claims to have a walking and talking bathroom rug. She might be crazy (but not “Palmyra Monty” crazy).

District 9

Provides the Capitol grain rain??

Grain Raisins.

They might have a secret “rice worshiping cult” over there. Who knows. Don’t care.

Their mayor sells a suspicious smelling “sugar powder” for a living. Is that even legal? Somebody should investigate him.

District 10

Provides the Capitol blue cheese and ✨Moo Moo Milk✨.

Livestock Chicken wings and drumsticks.

Domitia’s himbo daddy rules D10 with his emotional support cow (Lord Claudius).

Their mayor is Lord Claudius.🐮

District 11

Provides the Capitol cabbages and lima beans.

Agriculture Cabbage land and vultures!

They can legally marry their scarecrows. However, they are not allowed to divorce their scarecrow spouses for some reason.

Their mayor’s wife is a sexy scarecrow.

District 12

Provides the Capitol singing birds and pole dancers??

Coal mining ✨Pole dancing✨.

They’re poor but they don’t live in dumpsters with their freaky pet rats.

Their mayor’s daughter is a mean boyfriend stealing b*tch (according to their local singing rainbow bird).

District 13

The Capitol Nobles are currently pretending that D13 doesn’t exist anymore. But we all know it does. Lol.

D13 is now called the underground “Mole Kingdom” ruled by the mole people.

President Ravinstill is highly allergic to mole people and their rebellious mole habits.

Their self proclaimed “mole president” is deathly allergic to Bichon Frisé puppies. But who cares! D13 doesn’t exist.😉

[cat-astro-pick]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝟎𝟐

𝑀𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠, 𝐸𝑧𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑥 𝐹𝑒𝑚! 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝟎𝟎

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝟎𝟏

It's been about a month since Heartsteel debuted. Nothing had changed. Ezreal called me up without even a hint of trying to care what the fans thought.

I was sitting in my studio, mindlessly taking notes on the score. The clicks of mouse and keyboard and the spinning of my laptop fan filled the room. I wondered how much my new piece would sell for. It was pretty pathetic that something I used to love to do was now just a way to make money.

I thought of a mouse. I remembered a mouse named Geronimo Stilton. With his long snout, sniffing cheese, loving what was around him, and speaking out when he saw injustice. As a child, I emulated him a lot. As the flavor of a clumsy cream cheese cake lingered on the corners of my mouth, I felt soap bubbles spinning around my head. The same mouse who rode in time machines and went on adventures to save fairy tale lands reminds me-

"There's a weird scale here."

"Huh?"

I said in my dumbest voice, with my dumbest expression, and my dumbest words. While I was making a fool of myself, she took the mouse and fixed the scale. I couldn't lie now and say it was intentional. I couldn't control my meltdown emotions. I've been thinking about the past a lot lately. The hand that popped the balloon was like popping my heart.

[Witnessing the debut of 'HEARTSTEEL', a group that will steal your heart at first sight].

[A close-up look at the lives of the HEARTSTEEL members!...]

[Exclusive! Ezreal's...]

.

.

.

I shoved my phone into my pocket. Shoulders ached. And my elbows, which had been crushed by the armrests for so long. My work had slowed down noticeably since everyone had left. I closed my laptop only after I'd made such a mess that efficiency was nowhere to be found. I slowly mulled over the title of the article I'd seen earlier. The more I thought about it, the funnier it became. I was proud of him, and then a nasty feeling of anxiety creeped up and wrapped around me.

I don't think Ezreal would abandon me. If he's the kind of person who would neglect a friend just because he's famous, then there's no reason for him to accept the selfish me that I was even before then, the one who broke promises, spoke harshly, fought with Kayn all the time, and hid in the corner of the room by myself. So I pushed harder. Even then, I was so stupid that I was testing Ezreal's feelings for me, experimenting to see if he'd get angry or not, even when I was wrong. Ezreal was the one who always passed my ridiculous and unfair tests. I, who was relieved to see him and then tested him with increased intensity, contributed nothing to his success. So I shouldn't be the one who is celebrated in Heartsteel's success.

But,

"...You idiot?"

"Why?"

"You're the one who should be celebrated."

"So what?”

“…Seriously?”

When I showed up at Ezreal's studio with the expensive bottle of wine I'd gladly bought, I was greeted by colorful confetti as soon as I opened the door. I was dumbfounded by the confetti covering my shoulders and head. I almost threw my wine bottle on the floor in surprise, but Ezreal didn't care. A pom-pom cone hat trimmed with shiny soft plastic was placed on my head. It was a tacky pink, the kind of color my mom might have put on when she was a young lady. Ezreal's hat was green. I didn't bother to joke that if Ezreal's hair had been a little more bushy and less cared for, it might have felt similar.

It was just the two of us, but it was refreshing in its own way. It was like having fun for the first time in a long time. Even when he was famous, Ezreal loved to spoon-feed the cake. It was fun to have a party with just the two of us, where we didn't have to be formal. In hindsight, I realize that it wasn't just the party that made me happy. There were other external factors beating on my heart. Well, I would call it a simple alcoholic deception.

When I opened the wine, the atmosphere was too quiet. I would have paid more for champagne if I'd known this would happen. The thought of Ezreal watching me open the wine with a spoon full of whipped cream in his mouth was overwhelming. If it was champagne, he'd be covering his ears and videotaping me from afar. Alas, fancy wine glasses don't exist in the workshop. Instead, we brought in two glasses and poured wine into them. It was wine, but we drank it like grape juice. The wine wasn't sweet, but that was okay as the cake was sweet. And there was something even sweeter in between. I'm not the type to get drunk, but I couldn't stop smiling that day. It was like someone was playing timpani and xylophones in my head. In fact, I don't remember much after that.

It was cold on the way home. As soon as I got home, I took off my stuffy walker, laid down on the floor, and laughed like a madman. It swung around and hit my shin, but I didn't even feel the pain. I couldn't remember how I'd gotten there, but my cheeks were hot, red and puffy from the cold wind.

I felt dizzy, precarious, like a piece of paper with a small margin. There were so many things I wanted to do. There were many things I wanted to say. There were many medications I was taking, and many doubts about the things that surrounded me. Walking back from the death wasn't exactly exhilarating. Cold sweat trickled down my muffler. The night view of the city was beautiful. I looked at the night view upside down, like a spider hanging from the ceiling, and saw the fall of the city. Maybe the fall would be mine. These were feelings that would be fine after a bout of tears. I felt like I was losing myself with each person I encountered. So I disliked Ezreal. Maybe I had a crush on him. Or maybe it was love. And so what?

I had done so many terrible things.

I tested him. I craved affection, and when I got it, I walked away. I came back when I ran out of love. I was no great being; I could not give him eternal life by sucking his blood. All I left him with was a terrible scar.

A day of emotion. Days when I can't get them out and they turn into a lump in my throat that burns and flows out of my eyes. On days like that, I had an awful habit of wanting to quit everything. I wanted to give up, but I didn't know what I wanted to give up, and I had no regrets. I just stupidly thought about the font of the name on my tombstone. He and I weren't meant to be. No, it shouldn't have happened in the first place. If God is a transcendent being with proper reason, he should make me miserable.

My pride wouldn't let me accept him. My horrible past wouldn't allow me to accept him. If I was going to spill my guts to Ezreal, it had to be after I'd changed. If not, it had to be when I wasn't me. Maybe I should go back a few years and strangle myself. Yeah. I didn't want to admit it. The moment I admitted it, I would have to deny my existence. Denying an emotion kept me whole, which is why I was afraid of emotions. To admit now that I'd been pouring out those sticky, unpleasant feelings to Ezreal would be like being naked in a clothing store display case. I'd held it in so far; it wasn't that I didn't want him to be famous. Stupidly, with a strange sense of possessiveness, I wanted him to be in my enclosure, but the world outside the egg told me that my illusions were false. Rather, it was I who was stuck inside his cage. The feeling of the world as I knew it expanding excluding me made me uneasy.

I should have kissed him when we were drunk. I'd ask him to forget the past. When this drunkenness was over, I would try to deny these feelings again. Solid feelings that haven't wavered in over a decade aren't going to show up for Ezreal overnight. At least not unless I change on the inside.

[beardedmrbean]

Schreiber Foods Inc. of Green Bay, WI, is recalling 836,721 units of various cream cheese products because of potential Salmonella contamination. The recall includes Dutch Farms, Fareway, Happy Farms, Hy Vee, Kroger, Our Family, Schnuck, Essential Everyday, Dunkin, Piggly Wiggly and Schreiber Foods cream cheeses.

According to the details posted online by the Food and Drugs Administration (FDA), the recall was initiated on May 3, 2024, and is ongoing.

The recalled products were distributed in California, Florida, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Massachusetts, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, North Carolina, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Texas, Virginia, Washington and Wisconsin. The recalled products were also shipped to Puerto Rico.

Recalled products Whipped Cream Cheese Spread. Net Wt 8 oz. (226g) Keep Refrigerated, packaged under the following brands: 

1. Dutch Farms, Net, UPC 0 919145-67990, Distributed By: Dutch Farms, Chicago, IL 60628. — EXP 14 AUG 24, EXP 17 AUG 24. 

2. Fareway, UPC 0 21333-83051 5. Packed for Fareway Store, Inc. Boone, Iowa 50036. — USE BY SEP 03 24, USE BY SEP 13 24, USE BY SEP 21 24.

3. Happy Farms, UPC 4099100101881, Dist & Sold Exclusively by Aldi, Batavia, IL 60510. — SELL BY 08/30/2024, SELL BY 08/31/2024, SELL BY 09/01/2024, SELL BY 09/03/2024, SELL BY 09/04/2024.

4. Hy Vee, UPC 0 75450-09613 2. Distributed by Hy-Vee Inc. West Des Moines, IA 50266. — BEST BY 08/07/24, BEST BY 08/14/24.

5. Kroger, UPC 0 11110-58088 7. Distributed By The Kroger Co., Cincinnati, OH 45202. — BEST IF USED BY AUG 08 24.

6. Our Family, UPC 0 70253-50994 0. Distributed by Pique Brands, Inc. Grand Rapids, MI 49518. — BEST BY 08/08/24.

7. Schnuck, UPC 0 41318-58005 1. Distributed By Schnuck Markets, Inc., St. Louis, MO 63146-6928 — BEST BY 08/08/24.

Garden Vegetable Cream Cheese Spread. Net Wt 8 oz. (226g). Keep Refrigerated, packaged under the following brands: 

1. Fareway, UPC 0 21333-83053 9. Packed for Fareway Store, Inc. Boone, Iowa 50036. — USE BY SEP 13 24, USE BY SEP 22 24, USE BY SEP 01 24 

2. Essential Everyday, UPC 0 41303-00625 2. Distributed By Supervalu Inc., Eden Prairie, MN 55344. — BEST BY 09/01/24

3. Schnuck, UPC 0 41318-58005 1. Distributed By Schnuck Markets, Inc., St. Louis, MO 63146-6928. — BEST BY 08/08/24

4. Hy Vee, UPC 0 75450-09606 4. Distributed By Hy-Vee Inc. West Des Moines, IA 50266. — BEST BY 09/13/24, BEST BY 09/22/24

5. Our Family, UPC 0 70253-50100 5. Distributed By Pique Brands, Inc. Grand Rapids, MI 49518 — BEST BY 09/01/24

Strawberry Cream Cheese Spread, Net Wt 8 oz. (226g). Keep Refrigerated, packaged under the following brands: 

1. Fareway, UPC 0 21333-83052 2. Packed for Fareway Store, Inc. Boone, Iowa 50036. — USE BY SEP 08 24

2. Happy Farms, UPC 4099100 101744, Dist & Sold Exclusively by Aldi, Batavia, IL 60510. — SELL BY 09/08/2024, SELL BY 09/15/2024

3. Hy Vee, UPC 0 75450-09616 3. Distributed by Hy-Vee Inc. West Des Moines, IA 50266. — BEST BY 09/08/24

4. Schnuck, UPC 0 41318-58007 5. Distributed By Schnuck Markets, Inc., St. Louis, MO 63146-6928 —  BEST BY 09/08/24

Blueberry Cream Cheese Spread, Net Wt. 8 oz. (226g). Keep Refrigerated, packaged under the brand Essential Everyday. 

UPC 0 41303-04876 4. Distributed By UNFI, Providence, RI 02908. — BEST BY 09/19/24

Variety Tray Chive Onion (UPC 4099100 101751), Strawberry (UPC 4099100 101744), and Plain Cream Cheese Spread (UPC 4099100 101737), each container Net Wt. 8 oz. (226g). Keep Refrigerated.

Packaged under the brand Happy Farms, UPC . Dist & Sold Exclusively by Aldi, Batavia, IL 60510.

Warehouse Level Codes only – Not consumer facing SELL BY 07/19/2024CH SELL BY 08/02/2024CH SELL BY 08/04/2024CH SELL BY 08/09/2024CH SELL BY 08/17/2024CH SELL BY 08/23/2024CH¿ SELL BY 08/25/2024CH 

Consumer Facing Codes: Chive & Onion SELL BY 09/13/2024 SELL BY 09/22/2024 Plain SELL BY 09/01/2024 SELL BY 09/08/2024 SELL BY 09/15/2024 Strawberry SELL BY 09/08/2024 SELL BY 09/15/2024

Ranch Garlic Cream Cheese Spread, Net Wt. 5 lbs. 

Manufactured By Schreiber Foods, Inc., Green Bay, WI 54301. —EXP Aug 15 24

Cream Cheese Spread. Keep Refrigerated, packaged under the following brands: 

1. Dunkin, Net Wt 8 oz. (226g), UPC 0 29244-01497 0. Manufactured Exclusively for Dunkin Brands Inc. 130 Royal St. Canton, MA 02021 — USE BY SEP 01 2024, USE BY SEP 15 2024

2. Happy Farms, Net Wt 8 oz. (226g). UPC 4099100101737, Dist & Sold Exclusively by Aldi, Batavia, IL 60510. — SELL BY 09/01/2024, SELL BY 09/08/2024, SELL BY 09/15/2024

3. Hy Vee, Net Wt 8 oz. (226g), UPC 0 75450-09610 1. Distributed by Hy-Vee Inc. West Des Moines, IA 50266. — BEST BY 10/01/24

4. Hy Vee, Net Wt 12 oz. (340g), UPC 0 75450-09612 5. Distributed by Hy-Vee Inc. West Des Moines, IA 50266. — BEST BY 10/01/24

5. Piggly Wiggly, Net Wt 8 oz. (226g), UPC 0 41290-1066 9. Distributed by Piggly Wiggly LLC, Keene NH 03431. — BEST BY 10/15/24

6. Schnucks, Net Wt 8 oz. (226g). UPC 0 41318-58023 5. Distributed By Schnuck Markets, Inc. St. Louis, MO 63146-6928 — BEST BY 10/08/24

7. Bulk Culinary Cream Cheese Spread, Net Wt. 30 lbs. Manufactured by Schreiber Foods, Inc., Green Bay, Wi 54301 — PKD ON APR 16 24

Consumers should not use this product. Recalled products should be thrown out or returned to their place of purchase.

[thedottydiapercompany]

We think Plain and Simple BLUE is the nicest shade of BLUE out there.

ITS ALSO THE CHEAPEST BLUE DIAPER AT AS LOW AS £16.99 FOR A PACK OF 10.

You would think we would have to sacrifice quality to sell them so cheaply, but you would be wrong they have the best of everything put into them!

The best plastic, the best SAP, the best TAPES, even the dyes are sourced ethically and are hypoallergenic.

Plain and simple blue is available exclusively from:

Www.dottydiaper.co.uk

If you made it to the end of this you need a cookie 🍪 and to leave comments about cheese or diapers your choice!

[buffinbonkers]

I’m so sick of veil guard defenders main rebuke to any critique being “tHeY dIdn’T eVeN pLaY tHe gAmE”.

Let’s say that’s true, and???? Let’s say they quit 8 hours in, 10 hours, 15, like how long do you require someone to not have a good time before they can say “yeah it was bad imo”. Like your main defense is honestly that they didn’t play long enough? As if it’s their fault? As if it’s the gamers responsibility to force themselves to play a game they’re not liking and not the producers to make an enjoyable game? Idk maybe apply that thinking to any other game and maybe you’ll realize the crazy and break free?

I wrote my review of not recommended at 8 hours in, and most of the reasons why I still agree at 60 hours.

Some of my reasons:

1. I played as a mage and I can only have three attacks, three spells at any given time. And the list of spells i can select from is pathetic it’s like 9 maybe? CONSOLE exclusive games give you more options with R2 and L2. It’s just bewilders me that this is the level of decision making I get.

2. You don’t really make decisions, not like in the past three games. I’m 60 hours in and I recall making two decisions, killing some guy - who to my knowledge doesn’t pop back up, and saving 1 of two cities. Which again to my knowledge hasn’t TRULEY affected anything really besides a grumpy companion and a missing faction. (I know the city was destroyed what I mean is either way - a city was destroyed)

3. Speaking of factions (which I hate but I’ll concede that’s maybe a more me thing) you have to run around to every shop to upgrade specific gear, like found gear, gear, which you can’t craft or dye, you just level it up, hope you find the obscure shop that sells the upgrade (there’s so many fucking shops) or google it I guess.

4. Companions (which you only have two of at a time now - again a personal thing prob) don’t have health, so every fight could hypothetically be cheesed by just running around (which is actually more effective then the terrible dodging system) while they kill the enemy.

THESE THINGS ARE BIZARRE? I think that’s what irks me the most, is that the things that are bad are unique, like they took a perfectly good way of doing things, and just threw it out the window for some reason. I’ve played so many games and I’ve just never seen a degradation from a prior game to a new one like this. And y���all can dislike inquisition all you want, but it won game of the year, and it won it for a reason, even if you personally didn’t like it.

The one thing that I was like okay it’s improved, is the dialogue, but even then there’s some problems:

1. Someone else pointed out that while there may be multiple options there’s too many instances where they all are nice placating. Not ACTUAL options in difference responses.

2. Personal but I hate that they went away with the like pick and choose what you talk about with this person. Like I’ve mentioned OPTIONS?

Another point someone made was that some backgrounds should be limited to race, no historical instance of quanari warden/non-mage dwarf in all mage mourn watch which I think is valid af.

Misc REALLY PERSONAL complaint that isn’t that important:

Most of the adamant defenders I see mention the improved like life like quality of the companions, but I would like to point out that, you can romance them right up to “do you commit” and then when you don’t it’s never mentioned again, they move on to whoever is matched with them. If you’re in the middle of romancing one and then commit to another it also just completely disappears. Doesn’t seem very life like to me - they had dialogue about it since origins. Even in inquisition at least if you decided last minute not to go with Dorian at least he wouldn’t ask you for gift advice for bull??? Again I know this is petty, but like I don’t want to help Lucanis woo neve just cus Emmerich wooed me. WHICH I COULD AVOID IF I COULD CHOOSE. IN A DRAGON AGE GAME?

Ofc I still will be finishing the game and reading the fanfics but that because I’m obsessed with the series it self. But I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone who’s not a diehard fan, I’d just steer them toward inq, and then just watch the what happened after on YouTube.

[pearl484-blog]

Camembert Bribe

An Alternate Rocketear where Adrien speaks first

Link to Ao3

Adrien bounded up the steps to the school, eager to tell Nino the good news. Whatever Alya was up to, she loved Nino and only Nino. Even better, she'd admitted that she'd never be into Chat Noir.

When he got into school, he let Nino whisk him off into the basement almost immediately. Adrien was surprised Nino could keep on a grip on him though since Adrien was practically vibrating with excitement.

Then, before Nino could talk about whatever he needed to in the basement, Adrien blurted out the good news.

"I asked Chat Noir to check on Alya and she if she liked him last night, and Alya said 'no'. A hard no actually. I believe her exact words were 'I could never be in love with someone I didn't know'. Plus, Nino, she said that she was still totally into you. Made a huge heart thingy and everything."

Nino paled. "Last night?"

Adrien nodded, wondering what was wrong with his friend. "Yeah. I tracked Chat Noir down and paid him like a ton of camembert to do it." Then, at the look Nino was giving him, he explained, "Chat Noir is a HUGE cheese connisiour. Buuuut, his tastes are expensive. He eats almost exclusively camembert, so whenever I need him to do something, I give him some. But don't tell anyone. It’s a secret."

Nino nodded solemnly, thinking. "So, you paid Chat Noir to ask if Alya was into him."

Adrien grinned, excited that his friend understood. "Yep, and you know, break her heart if she did."

Nino stared at Adrien for a minute before he asked slowly, "And you ask Chat for these favors all the time?"

"Sure," Adrien said, shrugging to sell his story more, in for a penny and all. "Remember Christmas?"

Nino snorted. "Yeah, dude. You totally went AWOL. Your old man flipped out. Wait... are you saying Chat Noir helped with that?"

Adrien nodded, and Nino whacked him on the shoulder.

"Dude," Nino scolded, "text first next time, will ya? You had us all worried crazy! I wouldve totally covered for you."

Adrien gave Nino a sheepish smile. "Yeah," he agreed softly. "Next time."

Nino beamed back, his troubles forgotten for the moment. "Yeah, dude. Anything for you."

[copperbadge]

Getting fancy with pizza! Having pretty much mastered the basics, I’m now experimenting. For the dough, I replaced half the water with beer, which was like, chemically okay -- the dough rose properly and was a little more elastic when I was stretching it -- but I used an IPA nobody wanted to drink and I know better, there’s too much beer flavor in the crust. I have some fancy beer I use exclusively for beer bread, I’ll try some of that next time. 

The pizza on the left has hummus instead of red pizza sauce; haven’t tried that one yet. As you can see I also bought what my family called “wet mozzarella” (the fancy stuff they sell you in brine) and sliced some up for additional cheese on top. Not sure how I’m feeling about that. It ate okay but it’s a lot of cheese. Toppings are diced sauteed mushrooms and diced braised beef (scraps from making Italian Beef). 

[ID: Four photos; the top two are uncooked pizzas, each in a cast-iron pan, topped with beef, mushrooms, and large slices of mozzarella. Bottom left, the results, cooked to perfection, show the cheese has melted nicely, although the sliced mozz did not caramelize much. Bottom right, a slice from the red-sauce pizza awaits a taste test.]