#they said haha yeah sure

[heyitslapis]

GOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD I'm so fucking annoying LMAO

[moeblob]

Huevember 22

Brent, the most expressive bard to ever bard.

[ihamtmus]

.

[tennessoui]

It intrigues me so much thinking obi wan probably thought he was going to have a nice normal partner maybe a school teacher or a nurse, and live his days solving crime and then BOOM undercover on mob work and then BOOM Mob Boss is all over you like extreme osha (is that how you spell it idk) violations happening and then BOOM Killing someone because they could take it all away because they blew your cover and then BOOM going to the police ball where his shitty father can see him on the arm of said alleged mob boss WITH built in twins i feel like at some point obi wan is just sitting there thinking all of them and then shrugs cause in the end he got the hot rich dilf and he can do literally whatever he wants (well not everything but I’m sure you understand)

hello hello i finally wrote the scene where anakin/vader and obi-wan meet :D aka "boom mob boss is all over you like extreme OSHA violations happening" because i thought that was funny af

(1.7k)

It’s never a stellar sign when Obi-Wan wakes up to a headache like this. In the academy, it’d been a rare occasion. He’d never been one to join his fellow recruits for late nights out in the sort of clubs that dot the darker corners of Coruscant. He was the son of a police chief, after all, and that gave him certain expectations to follow, none of which left much room for drunken tomfoolery.

But the sort of headache that greets him when he wakes up is the kind of headache he recognizes from the worst sort of hangover, the sort he’s only had a handful of times in his life.

For obvious reasons, the very first thing he does when he finds the energy to squint his eyes partially open is to immediately roll over and away from the light source in the room with probably the most pathetic noise he’s ever uttered in his life.

He can’t even remember drinking that much the night before is the thing. He’d—why would he? He was—last night was—the first night of his undercover mission, he’d never risk it all to get drunk—

“Careful with your head,” a deep voice murmurs from very near to him, and Obi-Wan freezes. He doesn’t know who that is, where he is…how he got here. The material beneath his cheek is leather, so it’s most likely a couch that he’s resting on. “You took quite a beating,” the voice adds, and it sounds amused.

Obi-Wan squeezes his eyes shut and tries to take stock of his body. He does hurt, that’s true. He hurts pretty much everywhere actually, like his body is one giant bruise.

He took a beating? He was only supposed to be a server at the club—it had been his first night on the fucking floor, how could anyone have even noticed him enough to—

Oh. One of Skywalker’s men. He’d hit on one of the dancers, Shela. She’d been nice to Obi-Wan, had shown him around and called him Benny.  

He’d gotten into a fight with the mobster when he wouldn’t leave well enough alone.

The fight had been taken outside. Six men against Obi-Wan. It hadn’t been much of a fight at all.

But where—

“Luckily, you’ve already been seen by the best and brightest in our fine city,” the voice says, and he must know he’s awake to be talking to him at all, but he still reaches out to touch Obi-Wan’s hair, proprietary. As if he knows he won’t be stopped.

The touch of fingers running along his hairline makes Obi-Wan freeze and then move, turning his face away, out of the man’s reach, and forcing his eyes open to glare at the touchy intruder.

His glare falters when he sees who exactly has found him. Where he must be.

Anakin Skywalker, businessman, restaurant owner, and suspected leader of the Coruscanti mob scene and its most violent family, stares back at him. His eyes are dark, his lips curled up into a smirk that makes Obi-Wan’s stomach tighten and his heartbeat rise. There is something very calculated and very cold about his eyes, and being under the full weight of them restricts his very breath.

“I was wondering if you had those,” Anakin Skywalker—known to all but a few simply as Vader—murmurs. He reaches out and touches Obi-Wan’s cheekbone, rough this time as if daring him to protest or flinch away from the movement.

The spike of tender pain makes Obi-Wan’s breath stutter. He must be pressing into a newly formed bruise. “Had what?”

Skywalker’s smirk grows. “Prey instincts.”

It’s like his heart misses a beat, lurching in his chest as he stares back at the mob boss. After all, he is wounded and weak and on what must be Anakin’s couch, inside what must be his home.

He’d been tapped by his father to infiltrate the Skywalker family’s mob, and he’s been studying up on all the information there is to know about Vader, his business, and his family since. The plan had been to work his way naturally into the confidences of the men of the 501st that frequented the strip club Obi-Wan got a job at. A free drink here and there, a charming smile, a flirty look….

The best way into the mob was to become a mobster’s fuck of the week. Or longer. Everyone knew that. Obi-Wan doesn’t want to think about his father signing off on his deployment, giving his permission for Detective Kenobi-Jinn to bend over and take it for the good of justice and law and order everywhere.

The plan had been to work his way into the affections of the mob, ask innocent questions in the minutes after sex when a mobster’s shields were mostly down, record the answers and report his findings to Detective Secura every other week.

The plan was not to wake up on Anakin Skywalker’s couch with the man caressing his face. The plan was not to ever even meet Skywalker. He was supposed to spread his legs for an underlying. A commander at most.

Someone like—what was the man’s name? One of the men last night—he’d been kind. He’d been someone Obi-Wan had hoped would come back, because—

“Daddy?” A voice asks from the doorway, and Obi-Wan lifts his head slightly at the sound. He’d known Skywalker had children, but he hadn’t known they’d be here—meeting Vader’s children was not in the plan at all.

Skywalker’s eyes darken, and he doesn’t take them away from his face, not even when he reaches out a hand to the doorway. “Come here, Leia baby.”

There’s the pattering of little feet and then suddenly a pair of big brown eyes is blinking at Obi-Wan from far too close to be socially acceptable. He twitches back on instinct, and a large hand wraps around the girl’s throat to tug her away gently. “We shouldn’t scare him, baby,” Skywalker murmurs in his deep, soft voice. “He’s skittish.”

Obi-Wan barely holds back an offended scoff. He’s not skittish, he’s aware enough to know that he’s at a significant disadvantage here.

At least it’s highly unlikely that he’ll be murdered in front of Skywalker’s kid.

“Daddy, Luke and I put all those band-aids on him and patched him up so good,” Leia says, allowing her father to drag her backwards and settle her onto the edge of the coffeetable. “You can’t make him bleed again.”

Alright, maybe the presence of his kid isn’t enough to usually keep him from murder. He sits up carefully, swinging his legs down onto the ground even though the motion makes him want to vomit. 

He’s barely vertical when Leia pushes herself under his arm to put her head in his lap, arranging his hand so that it’s resting on her head.

Obi-Wan’s eyes widen and he looks at Skywalker.

The man just smirks as he leans back himself to look his full.

“You gave Luke head scratches all night,” Leia accuses when he doesn’t move.

“I—what?” Luke? Who is Luke?

“Rexy brought you to Daddy and he wasn’t here so he put you on the couch and Luke and I patched you up and you gave Luke so many head scratches even though he fell asleep which isn’t fair because we used my band-aids and you were sitting on my end of the couch!”

Obi-Wan blinks.

Obi-Wan’s hand starts moving, petting the girl’s head. 

Rex. That was the name of the man from the bar last night, the one who had been kind. Who had apparently looked after him, gotten him somewhere…reasonably safe. 

Perhaps the plan isn’t ruined after all.

“Oh,” he says very carefully. “Rex helped me? That’s very nice of him. I should like to…thank him personally then.”

Leia shoots up away from his side with an insistent scowl, one Obi-Wan is unprepared to deal with or understand. He looks away from her to frown at Skywalker, but Skywalker is wearing the same expression—though much darker.

“Weren’t you listening?” Leia demands. “Me and Luke helped you! Rex just gave you to Daddy!”

“Oh,” Obi-Wan blinks. He doesn’t…know what he’s supposed to be doing. Or saying. But he can try. “Well, thank you very much for your help, Leia. You and your brother made me feel much better.”

Leia beams and gives him a pat on the arm as if he’s a dog who has gotten a trick right. “Daddy,” she says and looks to Skywalker. “We are keeping him. Luke and I talked about it and that’s what we decided. We want Ben.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes widen. This is definitely not part of the plan.

But at least he’d been with it enough to give them his undercover name, despite being out of it enough to end up on Anakin Skywalker’s couch surrounded by his children, and then pet at them.

“I thought you were talking to Ahsoka about wanting a puppy,” Skywalker says. His tone is unreadable, but his eyes are softer as they look at his daughter.

Ahsoka. Ahsoka Tano. Vader’s second.

“Ben is better than a puppy,” Leia declares, and Obi-Wan feels sort of—touched. Despite himself. Despite the myriad of reasons he should be on his highest guard, even against this child.

“Ben is not even in the same realm as a puppy,” now Vader sounds amused. “If anything, you are requesting to adopt a little mouse.”

“Well…maybe Ben can be mine, and Luke can get the puppy,” Leia suggests.

Obi-Wan wonders if Ben is going to get a choice in this conversation, and then he wonders what he’d choose.

The plan does not mention him getting within touching distance of Anakin Skywalker.

As if he knows what he’s thinking, Skywalker turns dark eyes to him. “What if,” he says, in that soft tone he’d been using when he told Obi-Wan to mind his head, “I keep Ben, and you and Luke can get the puppy?”

That’s it then. The plan—and Ben—and Obi-Wan are all fucked.

“Okay,” Leia says.

Obi-Wan doesn’t say anything. His chest feels tight, and he's confused. He's confused because he's not sure he did anything to warrant being kept. He hasn't earned his keep yet. All he's done is bleed all over Vader's sofa. This is a deviation from the plan. He was supposed to be flirty and seductive and work to get the attention of one the mobsters until he ended up on his back for the good of the city. He's not supposed to--

“Well?” Vader asks, cocking his head slightly. 

“Okay,” Ben whispers, and Vader smiles. 

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?

I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.

Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.

Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.

Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.

Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.

Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.

If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.

So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[one-winged-dreams]

Partial diversity win! Jesus freak mother will accept me being bigender (i'm not) instead of being a binary transmasc!

[sqlmn]

Unfortunately for everyone involved, Brent doesn't understand the concept of being bought a joke, like, why would someone SPEND MONEY on a joke? Since Karen's his friend and bought him a shirt, he's like. Legally obligated to wear it at least once... ? Probably?

So while he suffers over the idea of wearing it and not wanting to wear it at work he eventually would wear it and Karen would suffer the fact she needs to actually not try to joke too much in a teasing way if it's gonna be Treated Seriously. Right suffering from being gay because oh, Brent looks nice in color. (Chris would find out about it at work that he missed Brent in color and just stares at Karen because she is an absolute menace how did she manage that.)

[foxgloveinspace]

-you come across an abandoned church

-you’ve been on this trail many times, your sure it’s never been there before.

-you must have taken a wrong turn.

-you hear singing inside, sounds like it’s coming from the shadows.

-do you go in?

-yes -no

[rotisseries]

i have GOT to stop going and checking out the notes on... that one post.... but it's CRAZY to me that people keep reblogging it very seriously being like "HOW CAN PEOPLE LIKE HENRY HE MURDERED 20 CHILDREN"

you mean the fictional child murder?? you mean the fake fictional child murder?? you mean the fake fictional telekinetic sci fi child murder by fake fictional telekinetic sci fi murder man on fake fictional telekinetic sci fi horror netflix show stranger things??? YOU MEAN THAT FAKE MURDER???

no you're so right there's never once been a history of fandoms liking a guy even if he did a bit of fake fictional murder what an insane concept

[ghostmistdraws]

me, a very angry aroace: THIS FUCKING SHOW IS NOT GONNA MAKE ME SHIP TECH AND PHEE

this episode: hey

me: fuck

[peanutseagle]

oh my god i gave him. this drawing i did of him. but its not just based of any picture - oh no - it's based on a 5 yo class photo. I explained to him that my friend, who was his classmate back then, showed me the picture. That I got bored and just wanted to draw something, so I drew his 5th grader self. He smiled funnily and said "Well, it's not bad. Thanks"

Then he went back to his bros.

Me? I hid in the toilet, called my friend, and screamed her ears off.

[sugajimin]

hello! i am here and also not here!

[erisolkat]

wait i just realized

[justewil]

i should steal another pl character's name ...

[suffarustuffaru]

I love your otto brainrot. He's favorite person to gush about in this series. I also love your analysis about one of the latest chapters and regarding Otto! ust, chef's kiss.

Anyhow, I would also like to add a crack theory about why otto never talked about his dp allowing him to talk to infants too. In this moment, it very much be because, as you said, he wants Spica to be eliminated. But! We're thinking small here. My question morphs into a more general perspective; why would Otto, and tappei to an extent, keep such information about his dp under wraps for this long, way before these Spica shenanigans? And I feel like the author may want to expand on that regard. Because as far as the rest of the crew knows (and as far as I remember), they know he can only talk to animals. But that chapter states he can talk to any living being (?), which I think may hint to it being a bigger fucking deal than we may realize. Like outside the Louis development, as well as Otto's frustration development, this power in of itself can cause a ripple of what Otto's capabilities are, and to not underestimate it.

So, now I wonder, would tappei utilize this tidbit for more development about Otto's power? What do you think?

aa thank you for liking my otto stuff!! i adore him a lot and arc 8 has me even more fixated on him bc his development is so Fascinating.... and also my fictional character type has always been the weird fucked up ones with terrible morals HAH.

OK ALSO LIKE i love your crack theory to bits. i think like the idea of his capabilities being A Little More Massive than they already are hasnt really occurred to me if only bc 1. i have like one braincell at a time and 2. ottos unhinged anger and various ugly habits (ie: doing things behind his friends backs HAH) were smth i was distracted by (positive) bc its so fascinating and now Finally everyone reading rezero knows hes crazy For Sure and 3. i think like. idk ive always kind of thought that his power is like super crazy like once you think about it. like iirc theres the canonical fact that other people in the fantasy world whove had ottos dp have gone like insane from it, so hes Basically the outlier here. and also hes insane anyway but his dp absolutely has partly to do with it. not only bc it like affects so much of his life with the constant overstimulation he experienced for a big chunk of his childhood along with the other effects it had with how he was behind his peers for a while and it made him socially awkward and anxious - but also like.

animals Are insane. a lot. genuinely. and then you have a power that allows you to understand them and hear their voices all the time. (more under read more bc its Long.)

theres so many fucked up animal facts out there HAH so i suppose that could just take like a couple google searches (god.... if oceans were in the fantasy world otto might go a little insane with all those sea creatures if he ever came close...) but i always feel like ottos learned at least a bit of his ruthlessness from that. and hes Definitely seen and heard shit (dont forget stuff like livestock ahah T^TT or bug infestations or something aljsdfls or the fact that otto would probably be seeing animal friends eat other animal friends or before he even knew he had his dp he could be eating some cattle he had a convo with like twenty minutes ago and ALSO garf and fred have their meat pie recipe that they adore and its like. that meat came from an animal and otto has most likely seen them make their meat pie before). but like nature is nature. its not always. Nice. survival of the fittest and things just die sometimes (ottos made various animal friends throughout his life and Many animals have smaller lifespans than him as well + some, such as bugs, are more fragile than him) and animals take actions according to their Nature (even if its. Bad, by human moral standards.) and all that - so i think the double whammy of ottos dp and him taking on merchant ideals is very much partly why hes so insane fr HAH.

I WENT A LITTLE OFF TOPIC BUT no yeah i agree. and i just think his dp has always been such a huge factor in what makes him so dangerous - its not only helped mold him into who he is as a person (especially when you remember that the rest of his family are Normal People and he Very Much Is Not Normal) but also like you said. his dp makes him extremely dangerous especially with the new information that he understands babies. iirc otto didnt Necessarily keep that bit of info under wraps - at least not before he met the emilia camp, bc the text said something about how hed take on side jobs where he babysat infants and hed be good at it bc he can understand the intent behind their wordless "words". and i definitely think otto - and tappei - havent really said anything on his ability to talk to infants before this bc it just hasnt come up in much relevant context until now. BUT I ALSO THINK YOU HAVE A POINT bc this does open like. a bit of a can of worms. theres these 2019 tappei qnas where he talks a bit about otto understanding "intent" -

Q: Is Otto's Blessing of the Spirit of Words limited to sounds that the speaker understands? Can he translate something Subaru wrote down in Japanese, or something that someone reads out loud phonetically without understanding it's meaning?

A: He can't. It's a blessing that conveys the intent of the other person's words, so if you said something like "Honbaradaratodetta", it wouldn't mean anything. It's just that, if Subaru had been saying "Honbaradaratodetta" for years to mean "What's for dinner?", it would convey that.

Q: About the "Blessing of the Spirit of Words" that Otto has, in cases where the same word can contain different meanings, can he discern the difference? (The English word 'servant' and a servant from Fate, etc.)

A: It's not the letters, but the speaker's intent that he picks up, so he could tell the difference.

--

but no yeah like........ ottos dp is specifically about Animals and well. humans and demihumans ARE animals. so it makes sense that it carries into humans and demihumans a bit so the whole catching someones intent thing is super fascinating and i feel like he could Definitely utilize it for more of his schemes?? esp when you combine that with the usual ways he uses his dp with animals - his power is Perfect for spying on others and gathering info in general. from my understanding of his power though, animals have to agree to help him, but given he can communicate with them and hes. well hes a good talker and also a bit of a manipulative bitch (affectionate) so like getting animals to help him doesnt seem like too much of an issue usually for him. so no but yeah his power is like. Off the Charts. and now we got big confirmation in the main story that he can UNDERSTAND PEOPLES INTENT BEHIND THEIR WORDS....? no yeah i think tappei will at least utilize it for the louis-spica plot things (ie otto wants her dead so hes just not gonna say anything about how he knows her true intent isnt to actually hurt anyone).

but i feel like otto could possibly use it for plans... or accidentally catch tidbits of info he shouldnt. im not entirely sure how, but. well. roswaal still hasnt delivered on his promise to kill everyone if even one person subaru cares about dies and Now roswaal knows that 1. otto plans to continue opposing subaru and emilia and keep pulling strings and 2. subaru wants louis to stay alive because he cares about her. it seems like massive emilia camp inner conflict is bound to happen at some point hah... the current situation is a ticking time bomb T^T and thats ON TOP of otto still working on restoring the book of wisdom... it all makes me wonder if otto will overhear a convo he shouldnt and catch the true underlying intent to otherwise innocent dialogue. or something like that.... or if louis's intent fluctuates in some way which otto will be Very aware of. if that happens. or if someone else somehow figures out ottos hiding the fact that he knows louis is innocent via his dp alsdjflsjdf. or maybe roswaal hints at his genocide plan and otto figures out the intent???? everyone is at a stalemate atm fr and im fascinated to see what comes next.

though. ok given otto went insane hearing the white whale..... well you could just fling mabeasts at him and maybe he'll shut up lajsdlfj bc using his dp (especially when overusing it gives him nosebleeds and headaches and pain and etc etc) against him is a Viable strategy to stop him among many others but like. the problem with otto is that hes persistent and Will hold a grudge against you if you wrong him. like i really do feel like he will hunt you down if you do which is the big Thing with otto. T^T hes unpredictable!!! especially now with arc 8 where hes been dragged through all these dangerous situations he did not sign up for and he just wants him and his friends to be safe but said friends want to save a whole country and NOW a sin archbishop alsdjflsjd.

like i really feel that hes so tired of things happening throughout his life out of control (remember his bad luck T^T and the way his dp used to fuck him over in his childhood? yeah T^T) that hes been trying to exert more and more control over his camp. bc like. vincent asking the emilia camp for help was nudged into that direction by otto. ottos also stepped a bit out of line by being hostile to julius and anastasia bc. otto that shit was unncessary aljsdlfjd theyre your camps allies!!!! and now ottos letting his camp be sus of louis by keeping quiet about her true intent. like otto is straight up like. hes kind of possessive of his camp isnt he? bc hes so fixated on making things go the way he wants (not that he wanted to help vollachia, but he wanted to help subaru and emilia which is why he pushed things in that direction, and now he wants to kill louis). it all makes me wonder if he'll ever have to use his dp against his camp given hes. kind of already doing that by lying to them - though itd probably be difficult to use his dp more actively against them if only bc they all already know what his dp is. theres no element of surprise there, but i think with the right circumstances he could possibly use it to figure out Something at least. bc like while he Does feel guilty, there is next to nothing stopping him from doing more shit on top of the shit hes been doing so far in arc 8 HAH. his moral compass is just literally broken and pointing straight down to hell. that mixed with his stubbornness and intellect and anger is like. well anyone going against otto is pretty fucked.

like. what is stopping him from sending a little bug to spy on subaru at all times. probably the fact that subaru and co. have a high chance of maybe noticing it and noticing that ottos keeping. too close of an eye on them. which would stop otto and his new declared "i walk in darkness" goal but all of this keeps making me wonder what lines otto WONT cross. and how far hes willing to go to do what he thinks is necessary to save his camp. and also what the consequences of his decisions will be.

but also like............................................... ok time for a crack theory of my own are you ready. anyway. can you imagine if ottos dp extended into fucking mind reading or something............ HAH.