#they rarely say anything but some days
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Watching everyone do that retrospective thing, talking about everything they did and accomplished this year while I sit here and think about how I did and accomplished absolutely nothing once again... I only had 3 things on my list last year, I was trying to be more "realistic", so I wanted to get a job to start paying for my own things and stop depending so much on my parents as I already accepted I can't live on my own, lose weight to start working on my self steam and get an actual social life and I just... Nothing, not even 1 thing to check, I not only didn't lose any weight but I gained more because of all the stress and constant depressive episodes, the biggest thing I accomplished this entire year was to make my depression worse and idk about you but I don't think that's something I want to write down on the "list of the things I did this year" to remember next year
#depression#anxiety#I'm a 25 year old woman that can't do anything for herself#I miss it when my depressive episodes would make me not hungry at all#I could go days without eating#I'd live on water and maybe some juice when we had some#this year was the year I finally understood I had an eating disorder and I'm still not taking it well#guess no one does#If I was at least pretty but no#I had to have an obsession with food I can't control and be ugly on top of it#people are so mean to me when I go out#they rarely say anything but some days#some days it's impossible to go out
1 note
·
View note
Text
Raised in Amphibia AU Marcy has a very complicated relationship with Andrias. They love each other and see each other as father and daughter. He never yells at her, never raised a hand at her, yet she's so utterly terrified of him. She doesn't even know why she feels like this, but all she wants is to not lose his love and to make him proud, and feels like she's always in debt, always failing at earning her place, always desperately two steps behind, never quite pleasing him.
She gives up so much of herself to earn his love and approval... she keeps most of her less useful interests secret, she doesn't have any friends except for maybe Lady Olivia, she drops whatever she's doing, no matter how important, to go to her father when he calls her, she "forgets" about her feelings when they're inconvenient to him...
She used to wear her hair long because he liked it. He never pressured her to wear it like that, possibly didn't even notice the effects his words had on her, but he once said it's what's traditional for the Leviathan royal family, and that it looked good in her, and she was determined to keep hers as long as possible, until one day she can't handle all the stress and anxiety and she desperately cuts it all in her bedchambers. Now it's so short, barely reaching her jaw. She cried herself to sleep that night. Andrias didn't say anything about it, only that it looked nice, and Marcy feels her heart sink - she let it grow for years no matter how uncomfortable it was or how little she liked it for nothing.
#amphibia#raised in amphibia au#marcy wu#andrias leviathan#marcy leviathan#princess marcy#princess marcy leviathan#cutting her hair wasn't premeditated. she did it while having a breakdown#it was her nervous system's impulse to fight in any way possible. to reclaim as much control as she possibly could.#only for andrias to later gaslight her into thinking there was something to fight against#that she was just imagining things to think her hair represented anything#it makes her feel really stupid looking back#and the court whispers about her change in look and how non-traditional she looks. everyone already questioned her status#as a legitimate leviathan princess and rightful heir to the throne#some even denied she was a newt at all! could you believe that? her dad is a newt - what else could she be?#now she breaks tradition by cutting her hair as short as a boy's? oh what would her grandfather say!#the odd rouguish farm girl with curly hair and a bright smile who claims not to be neither frog nor toad not newt despite looking#an awful lot like Marcy...#she visits her in Newtopia every now and then and she had the biggest smile when she saw her again after her little Anxiety Makeover#she ruffled her hair and told her she looked ''amazing'' and ''really really beautiful'' and ''absolutely adorable''#it was rare for people to think Marcy was pretty - most newts thought she was monstruously deformed -#but this girl never held back on compliments. maybe she saw her in a better light because they were equally deformed#but it always makes Marcy's chest bloom with warmth#and that day as they were catching up - chatting in the palace rooftops - sharing sweets stolen from the kitchens - Marcy felt so *free*#my posts#marcanne#technically sashannarcy but like eventually
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes I ask myself unnecessary questions such as "if someone made a design for Subaru's sister is that an OC or a canon"
Technically she doesn't have a canon name or design we just know she married into a rival troupe and Leo theorizes that Subaru didn't take this well or something
But she is a canonical entity. Like if someone made a design for Jin's dad I'd list him under canons. So in that same vein I'd have to say an OC design for Subaru's sister is canon right???
#danie yells at rp#danie yells at tokyo debunker#of course subaru's sister isn't in any way shape or form related to the institute and likeky doesn't know anything about anomalies#she probably knows her brother is going to darkwick and assumes he's a regular student and is so proud of him#. . .or maybe she doesn't care at all. i think that'd be an interesting angle.#but as a civilian it'd be hard to rp her unless it was like. she ended up experiencing some sort of anomalous incident(s)#and maybe she couldn't have her memory cleared by matches like it'd been going on longer than a day#they did say that in rare occasions civilians with anomalous illnesses might be brought to darkwick general instead of treated at institute#hospitals. . .maybe she could be afflicted with some sort of anomalous illness and have been in darkwick general? but darkwick general was#destroyed so would they put her in mortkranken or somewhere else? maybe she witnessed the immortal inpatient event and they couldn't let her#leave after that and let her treatment continue at mortkranken. . . . .#idk why i'm thinking about all of this lol#just. theorizing about worldbuilding and so on in my own little space#some people said they thought subaru was male pc and it'd be kind of interesting if like. pc was subaru's sister lol :3c#like maybe she doesn't remember or they're just not talking about it to avoid complications or he disowned her or doesn't recognize her#or maybe he does recognize her and if she gets involved romantically with ghouls he's not sure how to feel like. he dislikes(?) her husband#but isn't she married? surely he would have heard if she got a divorce?#idk. i'm just. having thoughts. (some of them are incest thoughts but that's normal for me.)
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
and if i say hehe
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#arasawa#masumi arakawa#jo sawashiro#snap sketches#this the sauciest we're getting i QUIT#the one rare occurrence where im having jo be smooth for once. he aint even smooth he screamin on the inside trust me#this is a shitpost in my heart but i also had to sleep before finishing it.#i said id have this done at 4AM and it is 8:36AM WHAT HAPPENED#im getting slower..... this had no reason to take up so much time that i had to force myself awaY BYE#WHATEVER. i dont have anything else to say. probably.#im gonna do a comm after i take a lil break cause I Expected To Have This Done Last Night/This Ass-Crack-Of-Dawn Morning#then when i finish THAT i'll probably take a break from drawing for the day#This the thing i was struggling to draw the other day. btw. for some reason ???????? brain was broken plain and simple#ok bye bye it's my break time if parts of this look wonky or w/e i do not care we're MOVING ON
77 notes
·
View notes
Text
g*lmar rly has to be the best skajrim character on the real like even if you don't like him he just is . literally The best one i think......... on dat note i also imagine that he and ulfr*c despite being fairydust BFFs for lyfe genuinely have the worst communication skills ever seen
#text#but i already talked about how g*lmar is weird about ulfr*c anyways#literally jubilant and feeling special cus he's the only person ulfr*c actually trusts and speaks to outside of formal conversations#he's a very manly man too (like N*loth) for wanting to just control everything... well actually having ulfr*c under 'control' is enough 4 -#- him. unlike n*loth who wants to be above everything that moves. literally not about him tho#i hope that other st*rmcloaks develop a habit of going to hide downstairs in the palace whenever they can tell the vibe between -#- g*lmar and ulfr*c is off because they're gonna be yelling at each other and throwing shit around for 40 minutes in a few seconds#i don't believe they'd fight insanely often but being at an active war probably gets them heated more. Often than usual; and their -#- conflicts are never resolved. i feel like they just don't talk to each other for a good 2 days and act like nothing happened#they're way too manly and prideful to actually let the other one 'win' so they just don't say anything ever post-arguing#Tbhs g*lmar actually really likes that ulfr*c is so unstable and harrowed because it makes himself feel very good and reliable -#- but he has his limits 😂LMFAOO i bet sometimes he gets really tired of him being so traumatized. very rarely but he does think about it#i'll have to desribe that a bit better later tho... don't know how to word it atm#but maybe he wants to punch him or something BYE. no...... 💔savage as hell#he likes it in a very general sense of ulfr*c's personality especially between them but doesn't like it when it causes them to clash#this might just be mostly ulfr*c's doing cus i doubt he's actually talkative about his past issues and Troubles (torture mayhem) and -#- can't communicate anything about it or set boundaries when needed. he just gets mad or very avoidant. No fixing that tho#well it's just shameful to him so he'd rather do nothing than even admit anything to anyone Everrrrr#why does his life suck so bad LMFAOOOOOOOOO#their nasty musty mutualism .. leeching off your traumatized Bff so that he can make you feel good by saying he needs you in particular#while U pay him back with some support.......SOME#Oh well#that zero communication between some sk*rim characters looks yammy as fuck to me. A;lways. ALWAYS#nelvas is power dynamic induced...... g*lmar&&ulfr*c trauma-caused... elituli Um😂 t*llius doesn't even know any hobbies she has#bye this is why they're serving so hard
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
i like coming across a blog where someone is like hardcore blogging abt Something and theyre like a couple of layers of meta and headcanons and discussion into this and then my task is to figure out what the Thing is
#1. medium#2. genre#3. what its about themes and plots#its like reconstructing smth by the hole it leaves#its fun#and sometimes you can scroll for pages before anything gets illuminated i like that most#when theres like a picture or smth of the thing then that kidna gives the game away#or at least makes the guessing game too easy to be fun#fanart can work tho#i think my blog would be pretty fun if i came across it wihtout knowing it#i tend to reference a lot and explain very little#say stuff like 'that scene when' or just give scenes descriptionnames#use a lot of episode numbers. rarely tag anything#also use a lot of names tho#which depending on the fandom can give the game away#but if youre really totally not familiar with doctor who through tumblr osmosis (which is rare probably)#then it might work. bc some names are weird enough and all the other ones dont give many clues#but i think if you can get a couple of pages without screenshots then my blog would be fun#though idk if i talk enough. depends on the day. you need to get like a whole bunch of textposts thats the best#if theres alot of reblogs that doesnt work as well#unLESS the reblogs are an indepth fandom discussion with another blogger. then its great
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
*sighs in post mildly broke containment again* there's nothing wrong with reading willow as a lesbian, this is a piece of fiction, and the post I made took on a jokey tone for a reason and is ultimately more about underlying bi-erasure on tv than anything else kaybye ✌
#im watching btvs#jeepers creepers but btvs is bringing out the *taking it all very seriously in a very morally high-and-mighty kind of way* crowd#and i dont mean about shit that matters such as discussing racism or misogyny in fandom#just about whether you agree or dislike someone's read of a situation - move on my friend if you dont agree#i mean i could go on a rant about HOW the show portrayed willow-the-now-lesbian#(and while im at it why i hc buffy-the-apparent-heterosexual as bi too but nobody has disputed that part oddly enough)#but that would be an effort im truly not interested in expending on this day and possibly never and has been written before#im mostly just live-blogging and moving on#if im writing anything fanfic-wise it'll be about kendra and that'll be my full fandom contribution#ok but the ONE thing i'll mention is the fight willow has with tara which is one of the rare Ls for tara#where she basically admits that she's afraid this is a phase because willow has loved men/been with oz#and that's just an interesting fight from a meta perspective because the idea that bi women have to *choose a side*#and are consistently questioned and doubted by their lesbian partners#is a core element of biphobia within a gay relationship that many people can attest to#hell it's a big part of bisexual rep that is conscious of itself that at some point there's a plotline where the person is questioned#about their true loyalties and asked to take a side#btvs ofc is NOT conscious of this underlying tension and in fact i would argue is agreeing with tara that this is what needs to happen#for several other reasons as well#but literally people have WRITTEN about this im not saying anything bold and controversial here AND it doesnt take away#from lesbian willow reads to acknowledge the flawed approach of the show to her sexuality like come on#willow rosenberg
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
billions also comedy gold presenting winston as a scapegoat for abuse culture fans when it's like but hey it can't be actual scapegoating if you Enjoy It or consider it Justified or experience Reassurance from Its Opportunity For A Group Cohesion Substitute For A Cohesion Based On An Inherent Equal Degree Of Belonging, The Absence Of Which Allows For, Encourages, Reinforces, & Rewards Scapegoating
it can't be Bullying if someone's Weird or you Just Don't Personally Like Them or Nobody's Actually Stopping You, Maybe At Least If They Don't See Too Much Of It, Maybe Others Are Supporting It
it can't be Abuse if you're just doing things Normally or are Following Rules or Aren't Feeling Malicious And Aren't Getting Divine Revelations Otherwise and probably it's just that a lot of abnormal people are being whiny &/or unfair &/or the Real malicious ones. kinda just like how that scapegoat is the real person ruining everything and really just forcing you to treat them like this
#might note hardly limited to billions; the series doing bog standard suffocatingly common [Being Normal can't be abusive] replication#nor is their Unaware Replication Of [it can't be ableist if i'm not reacting to ppl who walked up & said Hi I'm Autistic]#well abuse & traumatic treatment can't be Everywhere. like how umm sexism can't be everywhere. neither can white supremacy. ableism. cmon.#oh please not everything can be political. Just Be Normal. which makes it ''apolitical.''#now we all agree abuse can't ever be made palatable; insulated; easy. now ppl doing it never said it wasn't That bad.#if they did they must have been maliciously lying. whereas when i say it can't have been That bad; i mean it :)#and if that person says it was; well they must be lying. or clueless. or a pussy. or scheming to destroy me. Must be. Gotta#& we wouldn't be able to look around & see contexts of imbalance. who's vulnerable. who's life gets smaller. who's supported automatically#who's supported if someone even posits they May have done anything like No; Impossible; now instantly definitely get their ass#you can just go on all day about the ''um i'm just the Realistic Normality vessel'' arguments made boundlessly in bad faith#being like ohh Everyday Interactions / ''Normal'' Semi/Public Situations Can't Be Uncomfortable Imbalanced Dangerous Abusive....#if they are that must be So Rare & created only by Rare Bad Actors with Malicious Mens Rea (itself a great concept to make any act Okay)#something framed as Extreme must be an outlier. could never be part of everyone's everyday life & some much more than others.#could never be what's defined as Normal (associated with Superiority) like how Abuse can't be shit i'd think of as Normal#like how damn if ya don't just wanna kill the autistic coworker and everyone agrees & would clap & cheer if you did And That's Great#you'd have to feel Weird / Abnormal about it! b/c Weirdness & Abnormality is what's bad!#like the autism or the cptsd (the Real abuse can only be: inflicting the existence of a victim's survival skills on Superior Normals)#or whatever else gets pathologized with Polite ABA arguments about how it's not ''social skills'' so hide it or suffer the consequences#winston billions#having that perspective too like oh [our blessed successful conformity] [their barbaric xyz Issues]#if the best you can argue for or against smthing is as Normal or Weird respectively like. no. what's behind that door#the authority figure/s who must be supported lest this all crumble. vs the ruinerrrrrr#billions recognizing winston & tuk the next most shitted on would probably get along & have a mutually supportive friendship#billions also recognizing that mutual support better not be Allowed to get that far. lest this all crumble#like look see we Knew it. we knew the bottom tier ppl who don't really belong in the group who we bully & scapegoat are Always Ruining It.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know I'd love it if someday a game or some kinda media delved into Silver's feelings towards the future. For the time being, the future is just some vague place that Silver says he comes from and explains how he exists plot wise, but how does Silver see it after all this time? Is it home? Is it warm and embracing? Is it a place he wishes to fiercely protect because of that? Or is it just a duty and a string he's forever tied by because he feels he has to protect it as he feels it's his only role in the world. Because the future denizens happiness means more than him finding it to be his own home?
I'd like to see it explored from a more personal standpoint someday.
#silver the hedgehog#there's so much rich underlying potential with silvers future malarkey and we've seen it only in 1 single comic panel since 2006.#and it sucks. Theres so much there to be explored#Right now the future is just some plot device to explain why silver is in anything#he rarely talks about any interpersonal feelings with it. he just tells us what its like#like colours ds. he doesnt say his feelings he just says the futures skys are blue and it's people are happy#one day. i hope#also when i say since 2006 i'm also only counting canon events. archie doesnt count here since thats a different kettle of fish altogether#silverposting
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
i missed that class what dont you like about starlins rendition of their relationship?
(and also like, DID you think he did something in particular well or was it all…meh
the crux of my issues in this regard stems from batman #416. in the post-crisis era you began to see this way more lopsided depiction of bruce and dick's relationship wherein the former was portrayed to be almost.. bitter that dick had moved on to establish his own life. and it stood in great, great contrast to the bruce of the pre-crisis era, who was certainly devastated at the realization that dick was growing up, but also very intent for him to find his own happiness and way in life. they would have their disagreements on occasion (e.g., bruce initially disapproving of dick dropping out of college, bruce immediately taking leadership of a situation where the titans were involved when dick was better equipped to handle it, etc.) but the outcome of those situations was never outright bad yknow. bruce was very much capable of recognizing where he might have overstepped and subsequently stepped back to let dick have his own space. and i think initially max allan collins expanded on that dynamic in the post-crisis era in interesting ways by juxtaposing bruce's desire to see dick flourish against his own constant fear for dick's life. so instead of mike w. barr's comedic and lighthearted backup stories in early 80s tec where bruce disguised himself to keep an eye on dick's shenanigans and assure himself everything was going alright, you got this more serious confrontation within bruce with regards to his position as a parent. i don't think a lot of people read it that deeply but i've always viewed batman #408 as one of the most sensible depictions of that dilemma. the general complaints tend to be that this issue robbed dick of his pre-crisis decision to retire robin on his own, and i'll concede that as a worthwhile concern. but i don't think it's esp damning what with the implication that bruce no longer wants to be the person indirectly making the decision for dick to continue to be in this line of work. their moment at dick's bedside is less about bruce robbing him of the decision and more about him saying, if i let you still be robin, that's a direct reflection on me, bc i'm the one who got you to do all of this originally. i'm the one who put you directly in harm's way. if you're going to do this from now on, you need to do it on your own terms. you need to decide for yourself that this is who you want to be, without your relationship with me even being a factor.
it's a moment contributive to that delicious dynamic between them wherein every decision bruce takes to service dick's agency is inevitably read the wrong way by the latter to imply that he's not valued or not worthy of being seen as bruce's equal (and before the hounds pounce on me this obv does not include the increasingly abusive depiction of their relationship as the 90s progressed). that is an unavoidable dilemma when you're simultaneously someone's ward/adopted son and also their partner-in-crime! dick wants to be bruce's son and to be entitled to all of the love and care and protection that that entails but he also wants to be bruce's brother, his equal, his confidante, the one person he trusts more than anyone else in the world, etc. it's a tough place to be! it is paradoxical! and i'm so, so open to seeing that explored and think the way collins attempted to approach it in #408 was marvelous. but the way starlin (and other writers as well) totally swerved right in #416 to create this sudden resentment in bruce that dick had grown out of needing him was.. so utterly bizarre. like completely out of left field in a way i don't understand why people don't question it anymore bc in light of everything in the immediate fifteen years prior to the crisis it makes so little sense. their relationship with each other was so valued, bruce was so anxious to see dick establish himself while nonetheless maintaining a protectiveness over him, but it was all very much in good will even if he could overstep on occasion. it had all of the potential to allow for a very nuanced, empathetic exploration into the dilemmas of parenthood and esp when you are someone like bruce who has to forever live and contend with the crime of taking kids with him out onto the streets. bc he has to feel guilty! there is no escaping it. this is history, done and dusted forever, can't go back in time, so on and so forth. whatever harm comes any robin's way he has to live with as in some part being traceable back to his own actions. and i frankly believe that would be far more likely to evoke grief and anxiousness and concern than it would be bitterness that his son is charting out his own life
#as to do i think starlin did anything well. hmm#i like that he was able to acknowledge that jason's parents were loving people despite their circumstances#it didn't matter that willis was a criminal. what mattered was that he loved his family and would've done anything for them#which was a rare concession from starlin bc his writing could be pretty classist elsewhere#but at the same time idk sometimes i read it back and it's like. i don't think he was actually as classist as winick was ultimately#like it's been a While since i reread the starlin issues#but you could tell he believed jason's demise was less about his social class and more about being unable to fully recover from#or process his trauma as a result of the life he'd lived and the things he'd experience. hence the garzonas saga#and even in a death in the family the question is never about whether jason is acting out bc he's criminally inclined#bruce explicitly says he doesn't think he's given jason enough time to mentally and emotionally recover and that's why#he suspends him. so even starlin knew it was about the trauma first and foremost#and i mean that somewhat goes in line with his reasons for wanting to kill robin to begin with#he thought robin was symbolically representative of child abuse#in that it wasn't the conduit through which a young boy should necessarily grow#and ideally? the way to explore that in a medium that Requires the existence of child vigilantes#would have been to make the distinction that while there is always going to be some danger to every robin at the end of the day#what made the danger to jason distinct was that robin didn't work to resolve His trauma specifically#what robin did for dick is never something it could have done for jason let alone tim. there were too many other factors at play#so if this dilemma had been approached that way rather than starlin pursuing a blanket robin is child abuse ideology#that was subsequently picked up by other writers. then i think we might have gotten somewhere quite interesting#but anyway yeah so he's not my most hated by any means. there are parts i love there are parts i hate#ultimately at the end of the day winick will always be a gazillion times worse#outbox
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
-
#hello everyone how are you?#I hope everything is doing alright! from my part I can say life is treating me well lately#and I feel very light and okay#I am here mainly to get things straight#I saw an anon going around some other blogs talking about me#saying I am an hater and I shouldn’t be writing larry fics#I think this is the same anon that I blocked some weeks ago#because they told me I should not use Harry for clout (????)#and I want to say only one thing because I don’t care of defending myself on this website anymore and that is#it’s not clout and it’s not easy#being a (new) writer here is not easy because people don’t care what you do and there is definitely not clout around me#im not using harry to gain anything#if anything I am constantly questioning whether I am somehow good at writing silly stories and putting myself out there for people’s judg#*judgement. and I promise you it’s not always nice#especially when this place doesn’t like people who you don’t always agree with#especially when you are blocked by half of this side of fandom (larries because I had said something in the past that they didn’t like)#louies because im a larrie ergo I hate louis (???) and harries because i dont care about Harry as much as they do#so no I am not ashamed of writing and I am not ashamed of writing giving my characters#(that rarely have anything to do with H/L irl) thei#their names and physical features#and honestly people like you anon should definitely stop to play this stupid game of fandom police#deciding who can read what and who can write what#because this actions only affect new writers in the way that#they will be alienated. they will feel alienated#and this whatever this fandom is shouldn’t be about that#ever. you don’t know what people go through every fucking day#you definetely dont know how this sort of silencing mission you have going on#will affect people on the internet and their mental health#stop defending the imaginary people you think H/L are and start treating people in this fandom as actual human beings#and since you probably would like to know this: I am not currently working on any project because i am fucking scared of reaction like this
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Because the week wasn't sad enough, there had to be a new Lenny interview that broke my heart a lot more. 🥺😭🥲
youtube
#the whole part about vova and olena NO I AM NOT OKAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#it breaks my heart so much that besides irina olena hasn't been able to see any of her friends/second fam#vova at least saw sasha and zheka#and how you can hear the tears in lennys voice while she talks about vova and olena 😭😭😭#how heavy and broken her heart is for their family 😭😭😭#THAT PART ABOUT HUGGING HIM FOREVER WHEN SHE SEES THEM AGAIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#NOT LETTING THEM GO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and how she says she misses her old life/past and sometimes watches the video and cries 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔#and we have a new statement about kvartal#now its “im gone forever” again 🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔💔#shes in touch with the fam rarely but she is#she left in fall 2022 because she started the other project and couldn't do both at the same time#also she wanted to do something independently#the fam was okay with her decision#and she doesnt plan to return 🥺💔🥺💔🥺💔🥺💔🥺💔#i still have the hope that in some years after the war and she healed she might rethink her decision and does come back#based on this and other interviews i think on of the reasons she left was the war and the situation with her best friends#she thinks about vova and olena every day 😭💔😭💔😭💔😭💔😭💔😭💔😭💔😭💔#and how sad olena is that she no longer knows anything about the children 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#one more thing about her not returning#i think the way she said it is interesting#its no longer a break#so my guess is it really was a break in the beginning and she thought about coming back (see also what zheka said about it)#but now changed her mind 🥺💔#im still not over the part that she thinks about them every day#lenny is worried about them every day 😭😭😭#and she cant even imagine the burden and pressure and horror that is on their family 💔💔💔#also the hugging them both and not letting them go hugging forever 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
finally settling once and for all... with the evidence laid out plainly.. which of these brother boys is more stinkys ,,,
#also please for the love of gourd do not take this seriously i am joking I do not hold any of these behaviors against my cats I know that#all cats are a little stinky and weird I have had cats all of my life I am not genuinely condemning my cats i am being silly please lol#(some of my goofy cat posts in the past will always get like.. one or two people taking an issue with something incredibly#mundane. like me saying a cat is being rude or somehting and someone being like 'um actually cats cant process the concept of#rudeness. he has no idea he did anything wrong!' ........ yes...... i am aware.. that my cat has the brain of a cat lol#ANYWAY.... polls!!! so excited to have polls.. I will try not to be annoyig but I just love asking random things to the general#public. in friend groups I am always the one asking people to taking surveys. quizzes. making surveys and handing them out. etc.#the rare times I can partially overcome my social anhedonia/inability to socially function properly/etc. is when I'm interviewing people or#socializing specifically in the context of like Information Gathering lol#I love running questionairres and stuff . even about the most mundane pointless topics. there's just soemthing really interesting#about like....... being able to ask people stuff and then look at and analyze the results.#Even though that's an incredibly simple average thing. idk.. my brain loves information even if it's pointless silly information.#I Just Think It's Neat. I have so so sos os oso many ideas but I wanted to make the first poll about my cats#of course because I'm also obsessed with them lol. I was thinking of taking some of the pictures of them in front of a blank#canvas and doing a poll of 'what are they painting?' or 'what should they paint?' but I decided to go with babey crimes#for now. inspired by various baby crimes committed just this morning. Fresh on my mind..#I wish they had a middle option though between '1 day' and '1 week'. I think a week is too long for a poll like this but also#one day is not long enough because I dont really have THAT many active followers. if it was just a day it would probably reach like 5 poepl#people. I want to at least be able to reblog it a few times maybe. lol#I think 3-4 days would be ideal. Its a new feature though. I'm sure they'll modify things as time goes on.#Still feeling sick and bad and weird and not being that productive at all generally but... I have just enough energy stores..#using up every ounce of my power to make a goofy poll... a worthy sacrifice....
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
unrelated to that lmfao
i love being not (insert religions based on the kings and their people as ''demons'') but being adjacent to the communities while knowing the kings on a personal level because oh boy
#like i wont get into the Chrxstian God And The Kings' ''Fall'' rumour i did the other day but things like that and like#posts being like ''oh they love everyone all of us each of us'' and talking about The Lore of down there thats like. so clearly#twisted to be pro-(kings) propaganda and im like oh my god. if you worship them BECAUSE of these details you think are right then#im so fucking sorry they are way more complex and grey-moral than this#- i have to be clear. i do not know anything anyone says is false if its their worldview. Im not sitting here laughing because i think othe#s are Dumbdumb and cant get across the kings as Flawlessly as me uwu or some shit im explicitly talking about people saying#definitively that the chrxstian god did xyz thing and the kings are poor little meow meows and love everyone while also saying they#dont love everyone bc they vehemently disagree with chrxstians and stuff like. ''('demons') are actually the Pure sacred race theyre all#old gods theyre all pro-human and would never hurt a practitioner'' that type of stuff im like. ahhhhhhhh. so youve heard the propaganda#bc lets be real here i do NOT doubt any of these people's abilities its not my place so i dont even do it quietly to myself. very rarely#yes but like 1% of the time and its only when a bunch of red flags pop up but like. there are so many people on the kings' plane that#are telling humans these things bc......... well look at the goetic demons. royalty and people in power. who do people mainly go#to for demonolatry? The people in their society we understand to be kings. princes. dukes and duchesses. are they all these things? no#like Duke Vepar isnt a Duke lmfao i know her personally like she'll present like that but. imagine if that race wanted to talk to people of#our plane but only spoke to the english king/queen and dukes and duchesses and marquis and war generals and stuff to ask about#their civilisations. do you think that theyd get an unbiased view of the monarchy and the english religion and whatnot........#edit: so like we're really clear. its like seeing people brainwashed by fucked up politics bc. it is that.#sometimes you just have to laugh bc like god youre in deep and im so sorry#insert my ex (a spirit) lying to me and convincing me he was a video game character for five years like what else can you do but laugh#~abyssal murmurs
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have a stupid dream (technically two, they are related)
but like
ive been writing for. idk twenty years about. posting fics for about 14 of that maybe or something
ive never, or at least i have never been made aware of it if i have been, been included on a fic rec list of any kind. or been told by someone that they found my fics cause someone recommended them or linked them to my stuff etc
#i dont want someone to think they need to do this with me putting this thought out there#im just saying. i know numbers and time doesnt mean anything but. idk it would be nice to at some point be like that#to be someone that someone else pointed at when some went 'where can i find fics about this or that'#ive never been that. tho knowing i write niche stuff about rare pairs i wouldnt be surprised if i never was that either#anyways. im not manifesting to make someone do this im just. hoping. maybe one day idk#i really need to sleep but also my brain is being really loud again i hate it mmmm#night is an absolute mess on main
3 notes
·
View notes