#they never showed me bc they said they were gonna change system

[skunkg1rll]

gym day today !!!

[nyxofdemons]

okay okay. now that ive got the complaining out of my system i do need to say. i recognize that expecting this show to be brilliant all the time is unfair and it IS important to recognize that its really fundamentally a small dark comedy spin off show. in fact i think one of the main reasons this show GETS so much hate is because the long wait between episodes builds up high expectations and fans want it to be amazing and groundbreaking the whole time (ive actually briefly mentioned this before. there's a whole essay in my drafts abt this rn)

all of that said. i WAS deeply disappointed by the episode unhappy campers, but i also recognize this is an episodic situational comedy show, and i'm not gonna hold it against the show or anything. this is very rambly i just. i think its very good and useful to be able to recognize that this show really can be hit or miss and you can be disappointed with it without having to devolve into critic and anti territory (i previously said i still thought it was a good episode, just not for me, but i have since changed my mind. i do think it was a bad episode actually. there were... crumbs? of it? that i thought were really good? but barely and even at this episode's best, NONE of it feels on par with the rest of the show. but again, expecting this show's best to be the STANDARD is not fair.)

i really don't know where i'm going with this i just want to point this out i guess bc i have never REALLY complained about this show before and i don't wanna come across as pessimistic or anti. but i don't think this was a good episode at all and that's alright

[eurydicees]

what are your ideas so far? :0 like fandom, ships, type of soulmate au, etc. im so curious!!

soulmate aus can be fun to play around with if you're doing interesting things with it <- the only way i like them fjdns. make it a little messy! complicated! i don't want it to be easy (this is me on my soapbox, not like @ you fjdjsjs)

ok HERE WE GO. thank you for the ask i am now going to proceed to Go.

so the easy bit: its gonna be haikyuu because the brainrot i have is literally incurable. now for everything after that. it gets a little more complicated. bc you are so right. if the soulmatism is easy then it's no fun! it's gotta be painful and messy for it to be interesting! what's the point of a world that's easy? (<- said by someone who keeps writing a concerning number of unrequited soulmate aus)

im gonna be honest, this is a little (a lot) inspired by a prompt i got in january 2022 (yikes sorry some of y'all are still waiting on a bunch of those) from @/what-the-flowers (once again im so sorry).

the parts of the prompt that i'm working with are (a) dreamsharing soulmates, (b) platonic soulmates, and (c) rare enough that 1/2 of the pair doesn't believe in them!! all of those ideas are SUPER exciting to me individually, but put them together......hehehhehehe

so the pairings im thinkin bout. i think it's gonna be hinata-centric because i've never really gone that route with a fic before and that feels unfair for a show literally about him. i think he starts sharing dreams with kageyama after he moves to brazil and then they have to navigate that change in their relationship when they're suddenly so far apart.

but the thing is that, like. they aren't in love with each other. they're besties, each other's greatest supporter and greatest rival, but they're not in love. i am forever a platonic kagehina truther. im not sorry for who i am. but anyways they've only ever heard stories about soulmates, and only ever been told that they're romantic.

and they don't really know how to navigate all of that, especially when neither of them are, like, the greatest at interpersonal emotional communication.

anyways! while this is happening i am shoving kenhina in there because i am currently shaking them around in my mind. it's kenma and hinata falling for each other but this whole soulmate thing is making things stupid complicated, and it doesn't need to, but it is, and it sucks.

oh and also kenma's bestie and no. 1 support system is obviously kuroo and as a side note, kuroo just straight up. does not believe in soulmates. i think i'm gonna force in a backstory about his parents there but it's probably gonna be not at all relevant, i just have a lot of thoughts about the kuroo family. anyways. this is ALSO making things complicated in some way that i haven't figured out yet.

but kenma doesn't have a soulmate, and he's falling in love with hinata, who suddenly has been given a soulmate years after kenma started being interested in him (maybe they were already established for a bit? not sure yet), and what does that mean for any of them?

i also have a side plot about oikawa and iwaoi and california and brazil. this is probably going to be a minor subplot used to push hinata towards being brave enough for an unconventional soulmate relationship and it may not really be necessary but i need 30,000 words out of this so it's going in there.

things i am most excited about:

kenhina !!! i've never written them but something about them is itching my brain rn and i want to try it !!!

hinata pov !!!! its so silly i've never done it and i want to give it a shot

dreamsharing!!!! i think i'm gonna play with , like, dreamscapes and the way dreams feel so liminal and unreal in addition to the way you can communicate with someone within dreams for realsies

world building !!! universes in which soulmates exist can be so crazy and i am going to make this one MESSY

subpoint to that: what are the implications of soulmates in the first place? what does it mean that they're so rare? and what does it mean to reject ur soulmate? what does it mean to have a platonic soulmate and someone else ur in love with? and what does it mean to be in love with someone who has a soulmate who isn't you?

things i am going to switch around/ideas i want to play with a little before i start writing in july:

hinata pov is very daunting. ngl. it is very daunting. and i may switch to a kenma pov bc that could also be super interesting (see: the last subpoint before this).

i want SO badly to write a kenma character study and i think this probably isn't the fic plot for that but WHAT IF IT WAS.

kageyama's role--i don't want him to just be there in dreams, so i want to figure out ways to work him into the physical world

how long does this last? -> i feel good abt starting at the beginning of hinata's brazil time, but i'm not sure how much time this needs to cover for it to make sense

there is so much to consider and i was on the fence abt this fic but now that i've written this all out i am getting EXCITED

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Attack on Titan S4

Heading into the next season b4 I can think too much about it

Who are any of these soldiers? What an abrupt change in narration, considering Armin has done every intro until now

“Wasn’t I just flying around with a couple of swords in my hands? And there were Titans too.” That is also what I’m wondering, Falco 

“The successor to the Armoured Titan.” PARDON?? ALSO DOES REINER HAVE A BEARD NOW??? THAT’S NEW

So wait, if the loss of Bertholdt and Annie’s Titans are what caused the war, does that mean this war has been going for a year, since the battle of Shiganshina? Or has more time elapsed that I’m not aware of

“This war has dragged on for four years now.” I guess that answers my earlier question, assuming my premise was true

I must once again offer a hearty ‘Military bad’ to all of this:

“Look, Colt, you’re the chosen successor of the Beast Titan.” How do ur Titan soldiers feel exactly when u tell them u’ve chosen who’s gonna eat ‘em

"Honestly, you might never find a warrior candidate who is as talented as me.” What I would give for Gabi’s level of unwavering self-confidence 

“I don’t shoot kids,” said an adult, for the first time ever in the history of this show

Honestly, the context that Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt knew about the outside world and then still chose to make things worse for the people already living in Titan Hell Island just makes them harder to understand

[Zeke yells out of a blimp] [Dozens of parachuting Titans are created mid-air] So the Beast Titan ability is just to fucking??? Yell people into Titans??? ZEKE WHAT ON EARTH

This does explain where all of those Titan ppl were coming from in Shiganshina tho

“I’m sick and tired of all these walls.” Is that why you kept destroying them, Reiner?????? 

As a sidenote, now that there are visibly brown people on screen: The ONLY action anime that hasn’t made me feel weird about their brown-skinned characters is Bleach; granted I haven’t watched that many shows, but the depiction in AOT is about as yikes as I expected 

[ATLA voice] “Did Reiner just die?” “You know, it was really unclear.”

“My father, Grisha Jaeger, set something great and terrible in motion on that island, and as his former son, I would like to be the end of it,” said Zeke, like he had nothing to do with anything terrible happening on Paradis and as if he can renounce paternity like a belief system

So it’s not a known factor that Zeke has royal blood? Also why is royal blood so important in this show lmao like isn’t a king just whoever conquered ur country most recently

Ymir confirmed for bury ur gays (poor Historia) but when one female Titan disappears, another one must apparently reappear 

Also weird that there have been a number of Titans who are women but Annie gets to hold the Female Titan title just cause her Titan got tiddies 

Reiner being an older brother figure to these Other Military Kids gives me acid reflux why am I compelled to have stake in someone who has done so many wrongs 

“Surpass Gabi to protect her.” You see, ACID REFLUX

Also nausea-inducing: The transparent H******** analogies!! WHY

We interrupt this griping to notice: IS THAT EREN IN MARLEY WITH THE BLINDFOLD? THAT LOOKS LIKE EREN’S HAIR

Setting other things aside, that they had to have Reiner’s uncle say “Sorry nephew,” as a way to intro the fact that Reiner and Gabi are cousins is funny, bc no one would say that, why not just have Reiner say “Uncle”????

Because they’ve yet to check in at all with what has been going on on the island, it really does feel like a whole different spin-off

Annie’s being able to summon Pure Titans confirmed as a Female Titan ability

“Well, I’m running away as fast as I can,” said Reiner’s father, summing up the attitude of almost every parental figure on this show

Mad relate to Reiner becoming reliable to fulfill a need in the team

Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt don’t look older than 12 in the flashback, why must the core force of these armies always be pubescent 

What even was the point of Annie tracking Kenny? Bc he was Uncle Uri’s BF?

“His legs are saying it’ll snow today, right?” “Yeah, but his torso’s saying clear skies.” Thomas and Connie using Bertholdt’s sleep positions to predict the weather 😭😭😭😭😭 Boys ur friend is a douche

“Thing is, I don’t want this other candidate to be picked.” “Why not? Is this rival of yours a girl by chance?” It’s DEFINITELY Eren, and wow, Eren assuming the only reason u would not want ur friend to be a Titan is bc she’s a girl, quit projecting ur life onto Falco 

How exactly is Eren missing a leg can he STOP himself from regenerating? 

Also whose idea was it for Eren to be at exactly the place that wants to kill him the most kjghkgjh what kinda weirdass plan 

“I’m doing this for you!” “He really just up and said it!” The guards being invested in Gabi and Falco’s potential tween romance 

I really cannot follow the Commander and Willy’s conversations, are they going to overthrow the governments of the world orrrrrr

“My name’s Jaeger, I’m an internment zone physician.” Oh my god, Eren’s meeting his grandpa 

Ah, so Eren’s crazed rambling is hereditary, I guess

“I think I know why [this woman would save me]! She must be an Easterner from Hizuru.” Dshkjdhkfjh u must be East Asian in this Marleyan society in order to acquire empathy

Perplexed by the man in the kaffiyeh holding alcohol but perhaps that’s on me for not interrogating my own preconceived notions

“I got [Reiner] to come!” announced Falco to Eren excitedly, not knowing that he was facilitating a meeting of probably the two least sane people in the world at the moment 

Lmao @ the sudden content warning on episode 64, like should I be newly worried

“What do you plan to do?” “The exact same thing you did. As for why? That’s the same too.” Incredible that all it takes to threaten Reiner is ‘I’m rubber you’re glue’ (also yikes at Eren implying he’s gonna fuck-up one third of Reiner’s country) 

“I feel like I’ve seen you before.” Me too Pieck, I think Shady Helmet is Annie, and I love that for her 

Falco’s lesson of the day: Stranger Danger 

What exactly has Eren been doing the past four years that he now views himself as a villain and Willy feels confident to label him as such in a crowd of the whole world 

“If all that was to save the world, then you didn’t have much choice,” said Eren, even though Reiner definitely did, and Eren definitely does now (military bad!!!)

Eren has defeated Reiner through the power of empathy and 10 years of deep-seated psychological trauma 

“If I escaped while my people died en masse, the world would not rally to our cause.” Willy Tybur really willingly offered himself and a bunch of civilians to die to both smoke out Eren and to start a world war. And Eren really went through it, knowing he would be offering the first blow in the war, and killing a bunch of people of his same heritage! A game of cat and also cat (war crime edition)

“But I’m just as sure that we’re devils ourselves.” Who’s he calling the devils? Him and Tybur? The military? Non-Eldians as a whole? Commander Magath’s vibes are constantly oscillating, what’s his deal

I’m going to guess that the War Hammer Titan is Finé, since she is the only Tybur child to get a name 

Update from 6 minutes later: It’s Auntie War Hammer, actually

The parallels between Udo and Eren trying to lift something off of their loved ones who have been crushed by debris. Sickening 

Is it wrong to be happy that the Scouts are finally showing up? I mean, everyone is clearly on Murder Avenue, but hey, they are the protagonists 

“You’ve killed so many civilians. Innocent people. Kids.“ Not to be pedantic, Mikasa, but he did that in Stohess like five years ago with Annie, that ship has sailed 

Fascinated by everyone’s new looks now that they’ve abandoned most of their morality - not loving the slicked hair and goatee for Jean but Mikasa’s hair is fun 

“Are a bunch of humans... really about to come and kill me?” U can’t put people on Titan Hell Island for 100 years and expect them not to learn how to kill Titans 

“Stay alive; that’s an order.” Levi's steadfast look and personality are a welcome constant

I’m like, pretty convinced Eren is going to die at some point in this season, he seems pretty down and out and Armin ain’t the narrator for nothing 

Oh hey, speaking of Armin, been a while since we’ve seen you, your hair looks nice but I guess you are also Unwell™

Did Levi just detonate a bomb on Zeke’s Titan face while he was still standing on it, what kinda wild tactics

“Did I hesitate because of that kid?” We’ll call it a mild victory that we didn’t have to watch Jean murder a child in cold blood

Wow the scouts have blimps now? They’ve really seen some benefit from travelling across the sea; decades of knowledge in five years

But seriously what the fuck did Eren, Armin and Mikasa DO in the past four years that caused them to look so haunted? I get that they’re fucked up by what they’re doing NOW but it seems like a pre-existing condition

“You have a real kickable face, you know that?” Ah, it seems that Eren did not have permission to go live in a place where people wanted to eat him

“We’ve fought the New Eldian Empire’s first battle, and it ended in Victory.” Guess Titan Hell Island has decided to embrace their title as Eldians? They didn’t even know what that was five years ago jghjgh

“Honestly, I’m just glad that we made it. I know this isn’t fair to the others, but you guys will always be special, to me.” Connie treating being close friends with Sasha and Jean like it’s a betrayal to the military kjhgjkhg

“Mr. Zeke was killed right in front of us.” Oh so Zeke’s like, dead dead?

“You’re one of the good ones.” Again, I want to emphasize how much I hate everything that’s happening right now

YIKES @ Sasha being shot by a child, are they gonna kill Gabi now?

Once again I must be thankful that Jean doesn’t love murder

Whomst the heck is Yelena, I thought we would be seeing an Annie comeback?? RIP

“Quite the performance, coming from a mangy furball.” SO WE’RE WORKING WITH ZEKE NOW? THE HELL IS GOING ON 

“You noticed that trend [of rescuing Eren] and used it against us. Held yourself hostage to force our hand.” Both more manipulative and shrewd than I have come to expect from Eren; growth??????

I suppose we’re going to find out whomst the heck Yelena and Onyankopon are

“I was concerned for Historia’s safety.” Eren what happened to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu three years ago you were all still relatively.... yourselves

“Welcome to our defiled island of filth-blooded devils, you’re gonna to love it here.” Again, thank u to Levi for being who he is

“But as we gradually set aside the labels we have for one another, and worked to see each other as people, we can reach an understanding.” SCOOOOUTS WHAT HAPPENED TO UUUUUUUUUUUU WHERE ARE THE TEENS WHO PLAYED IN THE SEAAAAA

“Thank you for every tasty meal you made for her.” Ahhh Nicolo loved Sasha even despite their different upbringing that’s so sad

“Right, Annie? Say something, please.” Can’t remember if I brought this up when Armin first ate Bertholdt but imo it’s been an underpinning of Armin’s actions throughout the series that he has some deeper feelings for Annie, so it is not lost on me that both vessels of the Colossal Titan have liked Annie

It tickles me every time Hange calls Eren out for his crazed muttering

I can’t believe the pay-off for Mikasa being the only East Asian person on this island is that she’s a lost princess but of course, why not? 

“But I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect match than you.” Okay Historia, I see your subtle flirt with Mikasa, I am not opposed to wlw princess vibes 👀👀👀👀👀👀

“Zeke will pass on the Beast Titan to an individual who has royal blood, and that person must spend the 13 years they’ll have left bearing as many children as possible.” Gross. Also if this so-called royal blood is so important, it really should be Zeke who fucks as many child-bearing people as possible bc someone with functioning testes can typically make waaaaaaaaaaaaay more babies in that time than someone with a uterus 

EUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE THAT HISTORIA IS HAVING A BABY JUST FOR MILITARY PURPOSES; GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh wait, she chose to find a partner and get pregnant in opposition to the military’s timeline? Hmmmm, still hate it 

Hahahaha I guess now we know why everyone’s so much beefier, they were building railroads

“You brats got taller. It’s like you’re sprouting up just to spite me.” Hahaha Levi 

Eren’s friends all going around and offering to be his Titan heir (and, as a result, EAT HIM) is so fucking funny, Jean being too smart, Connie and Sasha being too dumb, Mikasa being too valuable (not to mention the fact she could never eat Eren jkhgkjhg)

“Because you’re important to me. More than anyone ese. I hope... you’ll live long lives.” [Eren’s entire friend group blushes] I too wonder, Jean, what the hell kind of mood they’re trying to set here kjhgkhgkgh

Jean raises a very fair point about Eren not caring who lives or dies if he’s willing to send his whole friend group into battle 

Tho as a counter to Connie, he of all ppl should recognize laughter as a trauma response 

Like, laughing is exactly what Eren did when Hannes died, and he was definitely mourning then

Also good that we are finally getting some Current Emotional Narrative Focus on the literal PROTAGONISTS 

“All are welcome at the Braus Stables,” I can’t believe Sasha’s parents are taking in the kid who killed their daughter oh nooooooooo

Wow Louise, what an unexpected callback to the evacuation of Trost

“But [the invasion of Marley] was recent, and my mother was killed four whole years ago.” Kaya is also an unexpected callback, but damn, I don’t think u can talk Gabi out of her dedication to generational sin 

Side note: The legacy of Sasha rescuing a child vs the child who murdered her, super fucked up 

“You don’t have to apologize for Marley, you just happened to be born there.” Kaya killing Gabi with kindness

Incredibly pot-kettle for Reiner to have any objection to Zeke defecting lmao he did exactly what you did, dude 

“Well, you are a boy at that age; I bet you’d like to do all kinds of ‘discovering’ with Annie, if you could.” On one hand, Hitch u right, on the other hand, Armin would never get involved-involved with Annie unless it was reciprocated, and on a foot, he’s like 20 now right? Shouldn’t he have a grasp on his hormones by this point hgjhgkjhg

Yelena’s description of Eren’s divine fury is truly filling in the Venn diagram of Death Note and AOT fans huh

“You’re right that there would be no harm in letting us talk to him, so why would [Premier Zachary] forbid it?” My current guess is he’s testing how well Armin and Mikasa will abide by military orders

Well, Armin’s guess is usually better than mine, so I guess it’s Plan E(at Eren)

Did Eren just bisect the Premier?????????? Eren, once again I am asking, what the fuck??????????????

“We believe that whoever delivered the chair must’ve planted a bomb in it.” Oh good, it was not Eren, but it was probably those fanatic scout recruits 

“Armin. The hell is going on right now?” Same, Mikasa, same 

On a more lighthearted note, was the timeskip (aside from being a shorthand for large leap in character motives) mostly to age and beef Eren up, because it would’ve been harder to pull off this Messiah on the Hill moment if Eren were still a skinny fifteen-year-old?

“But as a result [of adapting to turbulent times] our prestige has been reduced to the point where we’re now derided as a pack of wretched, money-grubbing vixens.” Hey now, Lady Azumabito, what’s wrong with being a money-grubbing vixen

“Armin and I were there when the bomb went off; we almost got killed by the blast.” But whether Eren instigated the assassination or not (I suspect not) seriously I do not fuck with any version of Eren that would let Armin or Mikasa die what happened to the boy who was ready to have an all-out brawl with Levi on the chance Armin could get to live?????

Another mild bit of knowledge I recently had was that Eren would eventually look older and have long hair. In S3 Part II, I was incredibly convinced that that would come as a result of defection based on Armin’s death. And I’m not saying timeskips are always pointless, but they are often used to get around the fact the character you wrote just Wouldn’t Do That

Eughhhhhh they are finally explaining how Zeke has been long-distance Titan transforming, poor Ragako and Connie :(

“And seeing as you murdered every person who lived there, you should learn the name, you bearded shit.” Levi is the only person in this show that gives me any kind of peace

HAHAHAHAHA a moment of recognition for this dialogue (it’s me I’m the ladies - also RIP Petra)

Zeke: Doubt you were well-liked by the ladies. Considering how you think you know what everyone else is feeling.

Levi: I do know. And I was liked enough. So.

Zeke, who has never been liked by a lady, bitterly: Well, good for you!

“Guess that makes us even, you Eldian devil.” 1) The fuck, Nicolo 2) Is that wine poisoned or smth

Update from 7 minutes later: Yes, but also no 

Well I think with Gabi’s murderous monologue there goes the last of whatever sanity Nicolo had left

The Scouts still not wanting harm to come to Gabi despite her killing their friend :(

The way that Mr. Braus is holding that knife against his fingers really looks like he’s about to cut his hand a la the Titan Gang but that would be an abrupt change of scene 

“Way I see it, when it comes to shoulderin’ the sins and hatreds of the past, that burden should fall to adults like you and me.” MR. BRAUS <3

Kaya’s murderous rage about Sasha was entirely expected but still sad

So like...... everyone in the military who drank that wine will become a Titan whenever Zeke wants? HORRIFYING

“What the hell became of the hope we all looked towards?” Oh don’t worry Levi, things are about to get much, much worse 

“Why would I want that? Always with the killing. It’s like it’s all you ever think about. Just like someone else I know.” Armin said: Gabi, you remind me of my BFF Eren, who also loves murder <3

Eren said: Speak of the devil and he doth appear

Floch has never had a good opinion in his whole damn life, everything he says, I’m like ‘go fuck yourself, Floch’

“And you wouldn’t put us at risk either. You care about us more than anyone!” THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING MIKASA (itslazywriting.jpg)

“Then part of you has become Bertholdt. Within you is an enemy, who has feelings for another enemy.” I think Armin had feelings for Annie pre-eating Bertholdt, but maybe that’s just me 

Eren calling Mikasa, a survivor of human trafficking, a slave, is gross as hell. Eren can go fuck himself too. WHAT HAPPENED TO ‘YOU’RE IMPORTANT TO ME!’ THESE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, MAN!!!!!!!! THE NARRATIVE HAS YET TO GIVE ME A GOOD JUSTIFICATION FOR WHY YOU’RE SUCH A DICK NOW

“The mere sight of you has always made me so damn angry. And now I finally know why. I just couldn’t stand to look at a slave with no mind of her own, who always followed orders without question.” SHUT THE FUCK UP EREN, ARMIN AND MIKASA WERE YOUR FRIENDS FOR YOUR ENTIRE CHILDHOOD, AND YOU LOVED THEM, DUMBASS

“Believe me when I say this, Mikasa. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve hated you.” I will note that Eren and Mikasa’s relationship has always had a weird tone bc Mikasa was exuding a ‘siblings by chance <3 lovers by choice’ energy but Eren, despite not responding to those feelings, LOVED HER AS A FRIEND! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUY WHO VOWED TO PROTECT MIKASA AND DISCOVERED HIS COORDINATE POWERS IN AN EFFORT TO PROTECT HER???? WHY ARE WE IGNORING THE PAST THREE SEAAAAAAASONSSS UGH

HONESTLY? GOOD FOR ARMIN, I’D ALSO PUNCH EREN!!!!!

“Is there any wine left?” “Of course not, we’ve been here a month, there’s not a single drop left.“ If Levi becomes a Titan or is killed I will riot. This show is already hot wet garbage, I can’t see it getting any better in the remaining half season

Thank god for Levi, who has done so many wrong things, but has principles, and I love him with my whole dumbass heart 

“I want you to beat up the Commandant here mercilessly until he can’t stand anymore.” Eren and Floch 2022 for the Worst President and Vice President that any nation has ever seen 

Update from two years later: I can’t believe I am STILL watching this stupid fucking show

“Your throw has some serious heat behind it, Zeke!” You’re telling me that Zeke’s entire Titan fighting style and ideology is based on the fact that he’s good at baseball and Ksaver zoned in on his daddy issues

“The truth is, [your parents] never loved you,” said Ksaver to Zeke, in what might be a true statement, but still probably is something you shouldn’t say to a child 

So given his youth respective to Annie & co., Zeke is supposed to be what, max 10 years older than Eren? He’s 30? He’s aged like sour milk 

“Would it be possible for the Founder to make it so that none of us can have children anymore?” What’s the endgame of this eugen!cs plotline 4 real bc it makes me want to throw up

So Zeke’s plan... is to have Eren... enforce eugen!cs by way of mass sterilization????? Why would someone write this story? Why am I still watching this story? I hate it, I hate it so much 

“If the Eldians in this town had never been born, then none of them would have to suffer and die in the plan that you and I are about to carry out,” said Eren, like he and Zeke weren’t 100% responsible for each and every suffering from hereon out 

WHY DO PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE HAVE EREN POSTERS ON THEIR WALLS?? EREN GIVE ME SOME HOPE UR NOT ENTIRELY THE WORST AND YOU’VE GOT SOME OTHER OBJECTIVE OR PLAN IN MIND, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Me, still trying to finish this show despite the bone arsenic it gives me every episode:

I still don’t think Levi is dead despite being exploded upon (twice), however he dies (as I’m almost sure he will), he’s gonna go out fighting 

Now that I think about it, I assume he will fight Eren, and I hope he kicks him in the ass

“Assuming that he hasn’t just lost it, I don’t see him [hurting Armin and Mikasa] without having some kind of reason.” Finally, a word of sense. Jean and Levi 2022 for a Government Which Still Probably Sucks, But At Least The Public Can Trust That They Have Some Kind of Sense of the Common Good 

I can’t believe Gabi is STILL holding onto the Good Eldian/Bad Eldian dichotomy in spite of everything she’s seen

“But to think that your cause was so noble. It just touched my heart!” I am assuming Armin’s crocodile tears to Yelena also have some greater plot purpose

Eren said: Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal Pieck 

Turns out, I was wrong. Levi is dead. THANKS FOR NOTHING, AOT

WAIT, HANGE TOOK HIM, I’M HOLDING OUT MINIMAL HOPE

“I saw a girl I didn’t know, sculpting the earth to reform my body.” Queen Ymir, I guess? 

“I don’t trust Marley one bit. Having said that, I trust the comrades who fought at my side completely.” Pieck as the only person in this dumbass military who has some perspective

They really do just breeze past Gabi being chained to Pieck’s severed hand LMAO, where does the cuff go?

Yelena’s learning of Eren’s no. 1 skill: Not listening to anyone

“Who else could talk Marley into doing something so stupid?” Firstly, pot-kettle, Eren, and secondly, yeah, sounds about right. Reiner and Eren remain the most out of their minds of anyone in this whole show

Magath really talking about bringing an end to 2,000 years of hatred like Marley had nothing to do with it 

I’m not sure what the Jaegerists were expecting, their artillery isn’t really designed to fight people one-on-one

“I’d like to hear [Onyankopon] out at least. ‘Kay?” Armin’s kekkei genkai is immeasurable patience. My god

“[...] That the world is more interesting with different kinds of people. I think you believe that. And I think that belief goes against everything Zeke’s doing.” I just don’t understand what the end game is here! Like, what is the point!!!!!!!! What are you trying to say!!!!!!!!! 

“Do you actually believe Eren wants to stop all Eldians from having children? You honestly think he’d go along with that?” NO ARMIN, THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR THE LAST HALF SEASON

All this said: Starting to lose my faith, buddy, seems a little too optimistic at this point

Fnfjnfjfnf Eren’s friends said: I’ll rescue him, but I’m not happy about it

Poor Falco and Nile, hate that that they’re sitting in a dungeon, waiting to be turned into Titans. Zeke, ur the worst

“I’m glad that we’re fighting towards a common goal, now.” Can I just say, I am glad that for once since this season began, the Scouts/104th cadet corps have some sense of agency? Good grief 

Quick question, what in the fuck is wrong with Yelena? What kind of Junji Ito-ass expression did she just make? 

Also, doesn’t bode well for Armin that Yelena agrees with him

If Nile gets shot for trying to help Falco see his brother, I’m gonna scream

“There were never any devils on this island.” FINALLY, GABI!!!!!!!!!! It took like, at least 4 different encounters with kind people (Jean and co., the Braus family, Armin, Nile) for the lesson to stick 

“So yeah, Udo and Zofia are dead ‘cause of me. And also, I’m in love with you.” Being 12-years-old is tough in this economy

Colt really has a lot of information to process about his brother today. Confessing to unintentionally facilitating mass casualty, love, and his imminent death/dehumanization 

“So that’s where my dear little Pieck met her end.” Is it though? No body, no death

Yeah, thought so. Zeke’s never been correct about anything

Does the ep title ‘Two Brothers’ foreshadow both Zeke and Falco dying, as one of half of two brothers? Truly unfortunate for Falco, he’s just a little guy

The real question is if the Scream can also compel Armin, or Annie. They’ve never tried it on Intelligent Titans, I don’t think

Also, Annie was able to Scream Titans to do stuff, back in those woods. She could also be of royal blood?

Also speaking of the whole royal blood thing, if Zeke’s spinal fluid’s ability to turn people into Titans is unique, how were they doing it before Zeke inherited the Beast? Like how did the whole penal colony angle function if Grisha and Dina were turned BEFORE Zeke inherited? Does any Titan spinal fluid work, and if so, why is it so difficult to obtain? Riddle me that

I don’t even have the energy to process how fucked up what just happened was. Nile, Pyxis, and every damn soldier down there getting turned into monsters with no out but death. Falco inadvertently incinerating his brother (for nothing! Porco is going to sacrifice himself anyway!! Colt’s death served NO purpose other than demonstrating his love for his brother)

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT??????????????????????????????????

EREN?????????????? WHAT???????? THE FUCK????????? 

“Those chains around your neck.” “I was starting to wonder if you ever going to say anything about that. Well, even if it took a while, I appreciate your concern.” Zeke said: Don’t worry, we may be in Titan Purgatory, but I have still retained my passive aggressive personality

“Do you seriously believe I’d euthanize the Eldian people?” FUCKING FINALLY EREN! PLEASE TELL ME YOUR PLAN IS TO GET RID OF THE ABILITY TO TRANSFORM INTO TITANS

“I waited to hear your true feelings, and that was the right decision.” This really is the season of sudden but inevitable betrayals

What’s the point of having a Founding Titan or Coordinate at all if you need royal blood to use it? Seems redundant, since it seems like Zeke can more or less control Titans on his own. Is it only the biology thing

“He sacrificed his children on the altar of nationalism.” Absolutely hate to say it, but Zeke, for once in his life, has a point

If the rest of this season could be Baby Eren chasing butterflies, that would be much appreciated. I’d watch 10 hours of that

“He was a shitty human being who did a shitty job as a father.” I like it that it’s Dumping on Grisha Hours, it’s vaguely cathartic 

Lmao at Eren ‘you’ve undone his brainwashing’ hahaha u could hold ur stupid fucking plan for months or years, but somehow u think this’ll work? Same old impatient guy

“Why did he wait so long [to take the Founding Titan]?” Hahaha Zeke’s finding out the reality that not all siblings are raised equally

“He set aside his mission for the sake of his son. Would’ve been nice if he could’ve done that for me. Good for you, though.” Take a shot every time Zeke is passive aggressive and develop severe liver damage

The one bit of world-building here that doesn’t give me bone arsenic is that people can develop autonomy within these memories, and seem to have some access to the future. It’s interesting

“I came into this world ready for a fight.” Eren said: Murder is my only personality trait 

“I won’t move on if it means abandoning you.” Wild that both Grisha and Zeke decide to put their plans on hold for Eren’s sake, when Eren seems to care so little for it in response 

Eren really does have his dad’s whole face, huh:

“The power of the Attack Titan offers us brief glimpses into the lives of those yet to inherit it. Meaning, it allows to witness events in the future.” Ohhhhhh so it turns out Paternity-TSD is not just a Titan thing, it is an Attack Titan thing

“Eren will get everything he wants.” I can’t believe that Grisha’s fall from grace comes from EREN being the one to force his hand, through memories alone, to kill the Founding Family. Eren said: Uno reverse, Dad! I AM THE SHITTY FATHER EVERYONE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT

Imagine, momentarily, being followed around by a grown version of your 9-year-old who incites you to commit violence. No wonder Grisha’s like this

“But even so, I will always love you. If only... I’d let you be my son instead of trying to make you a soldier.” Is this a hurtful or a healing experience for Zeke

So ur tellin’ me Founder Ymir got Titan powers by falling down a well inside of a tree? Okay Grimdark Inuyasha

Pretty fucked up that the royal family got the Founding Titan power through coerced reproduction, but what in this show isn’t fucked up? I’m so tired

If Maria, Rose, and Sina all had kids, I still think Annie could be from the royal blood line. We’ve got Zeke and Historia from two different blood lines, that still leaves one blond to go

Also also also this backstory doesn’t answer the question of how everyone else became a Subject of Ymir. Is everyone from Titan Hell Island her direct descendant? That doesn’t make any sense, because then everyone would be descended from Fritz also. Honestly the thing I suspect (and have suspected, ever since Ragako) is that anyone can be turned into a Titan, not Eldians specifically

Although, this Foundervision makes it seem like all Eldians do specifically have a specific link to Ymir. Is the implication all the people in that society had a little piece of her? Honestly none of the royal bloodline stuff makes any sense if you think about it for more than a few minutes

“The Titans of the Walls will continue their march until every trace of life beyond our shores is trampled flat, and the people of Paradis, are all that remains of humanity.” Eren said: Survival of the craziest

To paraphrase a tumblr post: If you go to the circus for advice, don’t be surprised when it’s delivered to you by a clown

This episode is called Thaw, which means FINALLY Annie. I have been waiting for her to come back to the side of the Scouts!

Honestly, kind of surprised it’s taken Reiner this long to give up LOL

“We’re doing what they feared we’d do, because we have to.” Do you have to, Jean? DO YOU?

“He did this for his friends. Eren wants to protect us, even if it means killing everyone else on the planet.” [B99 VOICE] COOL MOTIVE, STILL MURDER, JEAN 

Well, Connie’s psychological break is much to be expected, I guess

The Braus family and Nicolo automatically protecting Gabi despite how much she’s hurt them personally <3 I love them

“There’s a devil in me, Kaya. And in you, and in everyone else. That’s why our world’s the way it is. There’s a devil inside us all.” I mean, yeah, but I fail to see why you use this framework of oppression metaphors if ur suggesting that everyone is on equal moral standing, because it reeks of ‘there are bad people on both sides’ which like. Then why frame it as slave and subjugator? Why not just frame it as a conflict of nations? They are different metaphors

Armin thanking Pyxis and wishing him rest as he puts him down. Ahhhh oh Armin :( <3 

“You survived.” “Damn, no need to sound so excited about it.” That’s also how I feel about Floch, Jean

“I can’t say for sure, but if Eren could do [a Titan transformation reversal], I think he would’ve done it for our comrades that Zeke turned into Titans, instead of leaving them for us to kill.” Armin still hoping for empathy from Eren despite his plot to kill everyone in the world

Although, this does make a bit of sense as to why Eren also reacted so strongly to Zeke trying to scream. He couldn’t undo what Zeke was about to do

“When he brought the walls down, he did it by breaking all Titan hardening, everywhere.” ANNIEEEEEEEEEEE

Turns out Hitch, Annie’s former roommate and prison guard, is voiced by the same VA as Wendy from Fairy Tail. I knew she sounded familiar LOL

Gjklgglhgkjh @ Annie’s story being ‘your found family can also be garbage’

Annie [Tiktok audio voice]: Traumatize ur parents BACK

LMAO @ THIS BANTER, GUESS IT’S BEEN ROUGH FOR ANNIE NOT TO BE ABLE TO SAY ANYTHING FOR THE PAST HALF DECADE

Hitch: Okay wait. I don’t need to hear your entire life story.

Annie: I didn’t need to hear about every failed relationship you’ve had in the past four years. It’s not going to kill you to let me talk for a few minutes.

Did Annie’s dad just die???? It remains unclear

Not to state an obvious point but the Jaegerists are so icky. Who has the capacity for a military coup in the middle of a mass casualty event which affected EVERYONE, including them. Fuckhead Floch, that’s who

Also Shadis admitting he’d let the recruits attack him on purpose and advising them to not fight the coup! He really is a good teacher

“There’s no point in worrying about Eren. We can’t stop him, he’s a lost cause!” Armin has finally reached the limit of his near infinite patience

Not Mr. Braus calling Connie a decent sort to Gabi when Connie’s mid-way through a plan to murder her friend

“Be as annoying, selfish and arrogant as you please.” “Well, that’s kinda rude.” Jean truly deserves to be the protagonist of this show

Connie and Armin going to bat who will be the most mentally unwell companion to their traumatized 12-year-old. Based on Armin’s “Levi saving the wrong person” comment, there seems a very real possibility that Armin might offer to let Connie’s mum eat him instead

“He’s just a poor bastard who refuses to die.” LEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LOVE U, NO BODY NO DEATH

I can’t believe Hange’s explanation for Levi not dying via explosive blast is ‘he’s just built different’

I guess he did lose a couple of fingers but my real question is why have u advanced in all technologies except for prosthetics. Feels like that should be a common need here

Appreciate Levi stating Pieck (Finger) and (Theo) Magath’s full names for exposition lol

“Sasha. Would you have understood what I’m about to do?” Considering all of Sasha’s love towards her siblings and protecting kids, no, probably not, Connie 

DEAR GOD. THE BEST PLAN CONNIE COULD COME UP WITH IS ASKING FALCO TO BRUSH HIS TITAN MUM’S TEETH. HE TRULY IS THE DUMBEST OF THE ALIVE SCOUTS, AND THAT’S INCLUDING EREN

Full disclosure I had to stop watching this episode bc of all the things this show has made me watch, the concept of Connie trying to Hansel and Gretel this 12-year-old child has pushed me to my limits. I’m back now and I’m gonna try my best

PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME WATCH ARMIN DIE AGAIN, I WILL CRY. PLEASEEEEEEEE 

Update from 1 minute later: OH THANK GOD 

“I want to try and become the kind of soldier my mum would be proud of,” said Connie, as the child he’d almost murdered wheezed in the background 

“Guess whatever you’re worried about doesn’t really bother Jean.” Is it weird that I am kind of hoping Mikasa and Jean end up together? There’s something compelling about how they’re both simultaneously so fucked up in slightly opposite ways now

KFJHKFH the comedy of Annie just being sat right beside Armin and Connie as they theorize about her 

“Goodbye. Sincerely, your gloomy roommate.” Me whenever I leave the house

[Mocking] “And I get to live out my life with your sad little gang of xenophobic shitheads?” Onyankopon makes a direct and accurate hit

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I KNEW JEAN WOULDN’T MURDER HIS FRIEND!!! GO SCOUTS!!!!!!!!!

“Don’t you ever brush your teeth [as a Titan]?” “You shouldn’t ask such things, I’m a lady, remember?” LMAO Hange asking the real questions about titan dentistry 

“Then that burning pile of bones would’ve haunted me for the rest of my life.” Jean truly has never stopped being in love with Marco this whole time. Bisexual king 

“Let’s go.” “Go where?” “To end this, and save the world.” Alright, alright, they do know how to refocus my attention:

The scar on Jean’s dream wife’s cheek showing he still has feelings for Mikasa <3 Ahhh

I appreciate this retrospective on how they coordinated the attack, though it does probably mean the last eps in this part will not advance the narrative that much 

“I’ll do it. Eren’s killed too many already. I won’t sit back and watch him steal more lives.” Good for Mikasa!!!

“You remember Willy Tybur’s speech. What’s the world gonna do when we prove him right?” Jean reasonably points out that Eren has essentially guaranteed the destruction of either civilization (Paradis v. the Outside World)

I continue to be surprised about how explicit Armin and Hange have been about the fact Eren is committing geno-[GUNSHOT NOISE]

I know it was established last episode that this was still about Marco for Jean but it’s brought into sharper relief when they have a mise en scene dedicated to every single person they’ve lost, and then Marco gets his own panel. Everything always returns to unresolved trauma and transparent metaphors for bisexuality: 

“Hange. In the end, I’ll always be a Scout.” Jean said: I will prevent our friend from committing crimes against humanity, but I’m not like, happy about it 

“Compared to the sum of the carnage and misery wrought by Eldia, your island’s suffering is a joke.” I know Magath is probably trying to test their conviction in standing against Eren, but what a dick thing to say to the people whose lives and homes you have been actively destroying for ten years

Also Magath being a poster child for propaganda efficacy

“If we’re going to be at each other’s throats, let’s stick to arguing about stuff we’ve lived through ourselves.” That’s what I’m saying, Hange

God. Mikasa and Armin STILL wanting to get through to Eren to convince him to stop the Rumbling AFTER everything that’s happened. The residual loyalty Eren has proved himself beyond reciprocating 

“We shouldn’t be fighting,” said Annie, right after provoking Mikasa to fight

Are we finally going to see the fucking point of Yelena as a character? Being from Marley makes sense for her, but honestly I feel like all she’s done is be like, Non-Island Floch (inciting violence and planning insurrection in her group of volunteers/Jaegerists), and we don’t really need two of those, do we?

“Who wouldn’t want to imagine themselves as the saviour of hundreds of millions of innocent lives? To wash the bitterness of hatred out of their mouths with the honeyed taste of righteousness. From where I sit, it seems like that’s what all of you are doing right now.” Yelena said: Actually, you guys are stopping the wholesale slaughter of all other people on earth for selfish reasons 

How the fuck do any of these guys trust drinking alcohol after what happened with Zeke??????????? JEAN YOU WORRY ME

Kind of glad the Scouts got an explanation from Reiner and Annie for how Marco died? At least they get some closure 

“We all just started fighting, and assumed it had to be to the death.” Well. In more direct terms, Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie did actually try to kill you all, Jean, but I see what you’re saying about non-lethal force being an option in your lives 

“Don’t forgive me. I’m truly worthless.” Bold of you to assume anyone was gonna forgive you, Reiner? LOL

Yeah, Jean beating him up is a very fair response 

“Gabi. I’m sorry about kicking you. You okay?” “I’m tougher than I might look, I’m fine.” “I’m glad. Reiner, you’re not getting an apology.” Hahahaha love every bit of this for Jean <3

The way the ep preview is a pic which looks like it’s promoting Armin and Connie’s buddy comedy film, Unhinged and Unhinged-er

I’m glad the Scouts still advocate for non-lethal force, however idealistic

“For now, just stay out of it.” Annie and Reiner said: Our bad for destroying your homeland <3 We will kill your friends so you don’t have to; that’s teamwork! 

“Forgive me. All of you. I was... a fool. I’m sorry for my behaviour last night. We were never in the right. I deluded myself into thinking we were the good guys. I wanted to believe the evil I’d done was justified as part of some great cause.” What an absolutely rapid as hell turn-around for Magath, choking out Yelena one (1) time and hearing Gabi and Falco plead for help caused him to self-reflect? Or more likely it’s a Erwin-esque Inspire-to-Death speech

“There’s no way to avoid spilling more blood today. So please, look the other way.” “I’m not doing that. I refuse to let someone else stain their hands in my place.” Armin said: We can murder our OWN friends, thank you very much, Magath

“You won’t make your world any less violent by making it smaller.” Lady Azumabito having some of the realest dialogue of any character

“In any world, it’s important to understand our place [...] This [island] is the world now. You need to recognize your place in it.” Floch said: Have you heard of racism? I have reinvented it 

You see? This is why we don’t need two Flochs. One is already too much

Floch has never said anything worthwhile in his whole damn life. Get got Floch. I don’t have a lot of faith in Armin’s plan, but if Floch dies, that’s probably a win for everyone 

Fully didn’t realize Daz, Scout who loved to cry about how he was going to die, was still alive. I imagine not for long

Update from 8 mins later: RIP Daz and Samuel 

“We’re with you. Eren has to finish the job or this island is doomed.” Armin. This is the best plan your huge brain could come up with? Connie has rubbed off on you in a bad way 

It’s a good thing being shot through the face cannot kill Armin atm

Better to have tried and failed at a non-violent solution, I guess

There go the last crumbling threads of Connie and Armin’s mental health

How did Floch NOT die at point blank range of two Titans transforming? Proximity to one transformation was enough to kill Colt! Unbelievable

Well, he got his about 15 minutes later, so there we go

This entire season is just a glorified trolley problem, huh? 

“Violence will always be part of human existence. Won’t it, Captain?” Levi looks exhausted. Me too, man

Falco has really handled being in charge of one of the world’s only nine sentient biological weapons as best he could for being 12. He’s trying his best to help

SHADIS!!!!!!! I was curious who took out the reinforcement train

“Last chance for you to take a swim.” “No. I’ll stay. I’ve been looking for a good end to this life.” Shadis said: I must die in the most dramatic way possible

“It’s far too late, but I’ve finally realized how happy I would’ve been if those kids could’ve led normal lives.” Magath is the only adult in this show ever to admit that having child soldiers is bad LMAO:

I’ll hand it to Shadis and Magath, that was a pretty cool way to die

Though Magath’s comment about Shadis being remembered as a hero doesn’t make a lot of sense, considering he was about to explode any and all witnesses to Shadis being there 

Annie taking the inevitable loss of Liberio the hardest (unsurprising as everyone else there has lived through the hell of the past four years, while Annie was quite literally frozen in time, regardless of physical aging)

“I don’t want to fight anymore. Not with any of you. Not even with Eren.” Oh, Annie

“It could be that he’s always been like this inside. But if this is the real Eren Jaeger, what did I see in him, that made me keep him so close?” A question we’ve all perhaps been wondering, Mikasa 

“They’ll try to feed the car carrots if they manage to catch it.” “Hahah, give them more credit than tha—Wait, are they buying carrots?” I appreciate that we get this reprieve after all of the violence

Also I haven’t said much about Onyankopon because he’s normal and nice, but I do enjoy him 

“Well, look at that another enemy immigrant.” To be clear, this show DOES feel like it’s hate-criming me but it seems redundant to discuss that when they’re in the middle of a [LOUD FORGORN NOISE]

LMAO @ Levi being the one to cause the scene after his snark

“You’ve come to make it known that the people of Paradis wish to coexist in peace?” Well, that plan didn’t go very well, it seems

“Mikasa, what am I to you?” Eren said: It is time to talk about the unspoken crush you’ve had on me for 9 years, Mikasa

Hahaha good for the 104th cadets, getting to party and let loose with one another like actual teens for once. Also the way that Mikasa, Eren, Armin and Jean are laid out in the centre does pull at my heartstrings:

“What If I’d given him a different answer? Would we still be in this situation right now?” Mikasa, I don’t think romance would’ve fixed Eren

Eren would literally rather kill everyone on the planet than make Historia become a Titan and have children for the military’s sake. Chivalry is not dead I guess, unlike everyone else on the planet

I can’t believe Eren floated this plan by Historia!! Replacing one burden with an even heavier burden 

“There are straightforward explanations for all the behaviours you’re describing, that have nothing to do with genetics or conditioning. [Mikasa] doesn’t slaughter Titans out of some inborn compulsion to keep you alive. She does it because she adores you.” LOL @ Zeke having to be the one who explains this to Eren. The closest he ever comes to actually being a big brother

Now that I’m thinking about it: Where the hell is Zeke? He seems nigh unkillable, are we saying that Eren’s transformation did him in? No body, no death

“That’s what I need. For them to live long and happy lives.” 1) Did you really think, knowing your friends, that any of them would be happy with you killing everyone? 2) Armin is on a timeline just like you, so if we have to take the 13-years-since-Titan-inheritance to live at face value (Idk that I do. I do think it’s something they could lie about), he’s also got less than ten years to live and 3) Doing cruel things out of love does not make them any less cruel!!

Can I just say a big fuckin hoo boy to Eren’s whole life 

Their vaguely-brown accents have gotten a lot worse since that first battle with Marley LMAO. 3/10, hire a brown person 

“I imagine, we learn that our wish isn’t possible. We never find a way to save Paradis.” My name’s Eren Jaeger and I was born with the gift of self-fulfilling prophecy

This genuinely is sickening to watch. What’s the fucking point 

Of course Eren is killing his and Zeke’s grandparents. Why not?

“It’s weird how at ease I feel,” said Armin to Annie, as if it were not kind of a dick thing to say whilst her hometown was being trampled

“What I wanted was to see you.” Armin said: It’s time to talk about MY unspoken crush I’ve had on Annie for the past 4 and a half years!!

“Good is just what people call people who help them.” Armin really dropping some of his most compelling moral philosophy mid-confession

“So when did this start?” “When did what start?” It is SOOOOO funny that they’re choosing to address the romance angle between Annie and Armin NOW, when the whole fucking world is being brutally, unforgivably murdered. YOU COULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS, LIKE, A COUPLE OF EPISODES AGO

Are Yelena and Pieck the same voice actress because they both have a mild lisp like they’re talking around a retainer

“Even trying to say sorry feels presumptuous.” It is, Reiner! You’re learning something. Perhaps, like 10 years too late, but still!

Annie hugging Reiner goodbye even after acknowledging he’s the one who started all this. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

It’s very kind of Team Save the World to all be so understanding of the fact Annie no longer has any desire to fight

Floch said: I would like to be a problem one last time before I mega-die

“Armin Arlert. As of now I appoint you 15th commander of the Scout Regiment.” Hange said: I volunteer as next for mega-death!!!!

Levi scout-saluting Hange on her heart instead of his.... Ahhhhhhhh

Hange joining all the fallen Scouts in what seems like a very chill afterlife. Good for her

“Killing Zeke should end the Rumbling.” Ah, apparently Zeke is somewhere in his little brother’s Titan body like an extremely fucked up babushka doll. Or a tick

“He died cursing my name. Calling me a traitor, while I told myself I was saving the world. Was it the same? For your team? You, Bertholdt and Annie. Is this what it felt like?” It is also extremely funny that whenever someone does something really terrible to a huge group of people they look at Reiner and go, ‘Is this what it’s like to be you?’ and he goes, ‘Yeah. :(’

It’s also a callback to when he and Bertholdt were Connie’s dads. Shout-out to a less complicated time

“It’s like he wants to find how we’re going to respond to what he’s done.” 

Eren Jaeger 🤝 Itachi Uchiha

Deciding the appropriate judgment for committing a pre-emptive massacre against a huge group of people is having your loved one(s) beat your ass

The fact that Eren’s friends are STILL trying to talk him down. God. It is so much more than he deserves:

“But from you, I will take nothing.” Except most of the buildings on our island, the Scout leadership’s influence over the government, the fellow recruits I have radicalized for my cause, at least two of our closest friends who died as a direct result of my actions, every friend you made in Liberio, your sense of personal agency over the future, any hope you had for peace, and any remnants of sanity that you have left

“You will only stop my advance when you stop me from breathing. And you are free to try.” Eren said: We interrupt this plane ride for a message from our Founder. Hey besties, please beat me to death!

“They told us back in training that the Female Titan can manifest the abilities of the rest of the nine by taking in parts of their bodies.” OHHHHH so THAT’S why Annie can scream Titans to do stuff. I still think she could be descended from royalty, but this does explain it in part

Hmmm is Zeke’s spinal fluid why Falco had the memory of flying around with swords in his hands? A pre-transformation memory from Zeke? I had wondered if it was from Cadet Ymir 

Turns out Annie’s father is NOT dead, nor are any of the immediate family of the other Marleyan Warriors. Instead, they’re probably going to die very shortly

“We cultivated hate. Nurtured our resentments. Let ourselves believe that could save us. And what came of our failings, we simply dumped onto the ‘Island of Devils.’ This is the result. Those failings gave rise to the monster you see. And it’s marching our hatred back upon us.” General Muller said: Turns out, oppressing people for their ethnic heritage is BAD! Who knew!!!!

All the Marley Eldian parents being like. My bad for inflicting generational trauma onto my children, xoxo

Is Zeke straight up throwing LIGHTNING NOW? Zeke has chidori? What is going ON

“The forces of Paradis are trying to end the Rumbling.” Oh HELL YEAH they are

I’m going to be real honest with you, I am incredibly attached to most of the remaining Team Save the World, so when some or even most of them inevitably die, I will cry. Or be sick. Or both

“Exactly one minute from now, I’ll blast these bones apart.” Armin preparing to kill his best friend to save everyone else. Awful

EREN JUST SWALLOWING HIS BEST FRIEND WHOLE INTO THE FUCKED UP BABUSHKA DOLL WITHOUT HESITATION???? WHAT?????????

“He’s being restrained, but he’s not hurt. The problem, is that he was whisked off towards Eren’s ass.” What a thing to say at a time like this, Levi

“Theses husks are the people who bore the Power of the Nine before us. I don’t know if their minds are still in there or not. But I’m betting the Founding Titan has the ability to resurrect them as many times as it needs to.” Eren said: Hey besties, please fight these Big Fucking Skeleton Ghosts of Your Ancestors and Friends

I suppose the friends part disproportionately affects Reiner, since he was closest to the most former Titans (Marcel, Porco, on top of them all being friends with Bertholdt)

Bertholdt crying in Armin’s Founder Ymir-Induced Suffocation Scape implies the former Titans are CONSCIOUS of being used to hurt their friends and commit gen-[GUNSHOT NOISE]? HATE THAT

“Do you still think we can win?” “Nope. But I don’t care. I wanna fight to the bitter end.” I am in love with you, Jean Kirschtein 

“You’re kinda in the way, Mikasa!” ANNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Colour me bananas, but if Falco (I see why they named his character that now) was so certain he could turn into a Bird Titan, why’d he have to do it ON the boat. Couldn’t HE have been on one of the little lifeboats, transforming in the water and swooping away? 

“Hang on, where’s Arm—I mean, where’s Pieck?” Annie, you’re allowed to care that Armin’s alive, it’s not weird HAHAHAHAH. It’s weirder that you said it that way

“Your childhood friends sure have a way of getting themselves captured,” said Annie, as if she had not been the first person to capture them 

“Damn it. I had a long list of things to tell that dumbass off about.” This is Levi saying how much he loves Eren and doesn’t want to kill him :(

Gjgkgkjgjgjg Annie’s advice to Mikasa about how to deal with their comrades killing the man Mikasa loves: Try not to think about it

“That one. Isn’t it an okapi?” “What the hell’s an okapi?” I too would like to know what an okapi is, Mikasa

“Erwin, I didn’t choose you, and I don’t regret that. I’m entrusting the future with the same look in his eyes as all of you.” I LOVE YOU, LEVI, AND I LOVE YOU ARMIN

The subsequent cut to Armin screaming at his inanimate body about how much he hates it and himself. This show is exhausting

“I should be in a Titan’s mouth right now, so how do I know what’s happening to my friends?” This is a question I also had Armin, but I wasn’t really expecting an answer

“You still seek to multiply? Why? Is continuing the species really that important to you?” Zeke said: Actually, y’all are saving the world because you wanna fuck (Zeke and Yelena fight over who projects a more insane motivation onto the Scouts)

“This strange, lovely thought popped into my head. I felt like maybe I’d been born to race Mikasa and Eren up that hill.” Oh, Armin

Armin seeing this object in the paths as a leaf that reminds him of Mikasa and Eren while Zeke sees it as a baseball him and Ksaver played with. Everything always comes back to baseball and absent fathers

Is the payoff for Armin being Babushka'd for a solid thirty minutes going to be that he’s going to convert all of these Former Titans in Purgatory (aka the Paths) to stop being Eren’s Skeleton Ghost Army? Incredible 

I was wondering when Cadet Ymir was going to make an appearance. Good for her! 

I also appreciate that Eren’s own (skeleton ghost) father is among the people actively fighting against him. PARENTING 

Zeke, as he gets decapitated, probably: See, I CAN be helpful!

“The rumbling just stopped.” THEN WHYYYY are there 45 more minutes in the episode!!!!!!!!! What are you going to do!!!!!!

I would like an explanation on what the glowing-worm-spine-thing that gives people Titan powers is. An alien? A sea creature? A really vengeful spirit? Explain!!!!

“If [the Titan Worm] survived that explosion point-blank, we can’t kill it. The one we should target is Eren. This nightmare won’t end until we take him down.” To be fair, Levi, you just had Armin try to explode Eren too, so can you really kill him?

“Could this be the same gas they used on Ragako village?” “Mikasa, Pieck, get on Falco, we need to leave. Cause only Ackermanns and Titan wielders are immune, remember?” OH MY GOD THEY’RE GOING TO TURN JEAN AND CONNIE INTO TITANS. I KNEW THIS BATTLE WASN’T GOING TO PASS WITHOUT KILLING SCOUTS, BUT OH MY GOD. JEAN. I AM CRYING, THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY HE COULD DIE. THE WAY ALL OF THESE PEOPLE’S FAMILIES COULD DIE. I HATE THIS. I AM SICK. 

“You’re gonna live without me for a long time. So forget you knew me. Forget, and be free.” I don’t care about this Eren-isn’t-a-mass-murderer fantasy sequence. Any remaining energy I had for this narrative died with Jean

Mikasa kissing Eren AFTER decapitating him is an incredibly weird way to end this battle. Why write this show? What was the point?

HKFHKJFHKFJHFKJHF not them having Eren appear as a child and say sorry for the mass murder!!!! What kinda Naruto behaviour is this!!!

“So you did all that to push us away, huh? To make us turn against you and become the heroes who prevent the annihilation of the human race by killing you.” “You got it. Every human left outside of the walls will owe you a debt of gratitude.” This is the most backwards ass, stupid ass plan I’ve ever heard of. I can’t believe THIS is the excuse for everything I’ve had to witness. 

Eren Jaeger 🤝 Itachi Uchiha

If I do ALLLLLL the murders, no one will think badly of my fellow people, even though I am one of those people

“You’re hoping we can all become like the Tybur family and protect Paradis from reprisal.” Except for Jean and Connie who are mega-dead, and Annie, Armin, Reiner and Pieck, who will presumably all die in less than ten years, Falco who has thirteen years left, which leaves Levi and Mikasa to stand for their whole island? 

“Founder Ymir, she loved King Fritz.” Of course, who doesn’t love someone who murdered their parents, enslaved them, ripped out their tongue and then [redacted] them and had their kids [LOUD HONK OF A CLOWN CAR]

The way they’re cycling through Eren and Armin’s ages. It does hurt me 

“The past and future, it’s all happening at once. And so, I had no choice That day, in that moment, Bertholdt would’ve died, but he had to live, so I sent it away from him and towards mom.” So, not only are you saying that Eren was retroactively controlling Titans from the wall’s breach, but also that HE is responsible for his mum getting eaten? Why does Eren have to be responsible for everything? Can’t things be also Reiner and Bertholdt’s fault?

“You’re a selfish heartbreaker, and I hope she does forget about you because she deserves to be happy!” Sweet of Armin, but I can’t take this seriously inside of everything that’s happened 

INSANE OF ARMIN TO BE MORE MAD ABOUT EREN DISREGARDING MIKASA’S FEELINGS THAN HE IS ABOUT THE GENOC!DE. Armin said: Two can play at the unrelentingly crazy takes on what chivalry means, Eren!

“But hey, the good news is, I know of one charming young fella she’s pretty close to already.” You mean Jean, whom Eren’s worm ally Titan-murdered??????

[Sobbing] “No. That’d break my heart. I don’t want her to find someone else. I want to be her one and only love! Even she does get over me, I think it should take her ten years at least!” “Oh, I see. Sorry, I didn’t think you’d say something that pathetic.” HAHAHAHAHA I genuinely just can’t absorb Eren saying this dialogue as true, because it feels so stupid and out-of-character, however, Armin’s response is VERY funny

“Twenty-percent of humanity is all that you manage to save. It’s been determined.” “’Been determined?’ But you determined it. You’re the one who kills them!” Eren said: [Count Frollo voice] It’s not my fault, it’s in God’s plan

“I trampled the world because I wanted it.” This is like, the third set of motivations Eren’s played his hand at. When will we land on one that sticks?

“Why? Why did it turn out this way? I finally know. Because I’m an idiot. I’m nothing more than a garden-variety idiot who got his hands on power. That’s why this is the only resolution I can bring about.” I guess this is motivation #4

“You’ll be joining me? Where?” [Pleasantly] “Assuming it exists, in hell.” Armin’s dialogue is so unrivaled in how crazy it is, I almost admire it

“Yeah. Look for me in hell. I’ll be waiting.” “Right. We’ll be together, for all time.” This is the opposite of meet me in gay heaven energy. Meet me in White Boy Hell:

God. Armin’s scream when he sees Eren is dead. Unbearable

“He said that you would make a choice, and that in the end it would cause the Power of the Titans to be erased from this world.” JEAN AND CONNIE AND GABI ALIVE? ARMIN AND REINER AND ANNIE AND FALCO STAYING ALIVE? ALSO WHY WAS THIS NOT AN OPTION BEFORE? Finally, a reason for all of this. The longest, most chaotic, worst path to a reason, but a reason nonetheless 

Eren being like, surprise!!! Here is my post-mass-murder voicemail about how much I love you all, besties! Except you, Pieck, I don’t know you. And everyone’s just like, ‘Aw, I missed him!’

I was worried for a moment that Levi seeing the fallen Scouts was an indication he was dying, but it seems like it’s some kind of goodbye present from Eren

“My name is Armin Arlert. And I killed Eren Jaeger. I stopped the Attack Titan and ended the rumbling.” Armin said: I am not afraid to take credit for the murder of my best friend

“All this time it was you, peeking into my head.” Mikasa’s headaches are actually Maternity-TSD from Founder Ymir? Sure, why not

I suppose it would be unrealistic if the fraction of people alive DIDN’T want to retaliate against the Island. What else could you expect? 

“But if we must fight, let it be for an end to fighting.” Historia finally gets some agency after her Farm Pregnancy Arc LMAO

“You know, it’s a real shame your life got longer, Reiner.” HAHAHA Jean. This is the kind of bullshit I missed 

HAAHAHAHAHAH ARMIN, I see you and Annie haven’t gotten any better at communicating:

Armin: Don’t forget that we’re Scout Regiment. We’re a bunch of dreamers who don’t know when to quit.

Annie: But I was in the Military Police. 

Armin, ignoring her: Anyway—

“After trying to kill each other again and again, we put down our weapons and began to call for peace.” I suppose this is the most tolerable possible resolution to an incredibly deranged show

I can’t believe this series has beaten me down so hard with its bare fists that I feel like 80% of the world dying is not the worst outcome. That is OBJECTIVELY AWFUL. I guess it helps that there’s no death/fighting scenes for last third of this episode. It’s just been so unbearable that if I’m not crying or actively nauseous, it’s some kind of victory. What a horrible show

Are we suggesting Eren has been reincarnated as a bird? Sure, fitting for a wings-of-freedom Scout metaphor moment, I suppose!

I’m not going to comment on the mid-credits scenes. This show has put me through enough. I have followed it through to its conclusion, and its conclusion was as brutal and absurd as the rest of it. Goodnight! 

[tapioca-puddingg]

The Riku vs Terra Discussion

Hey y'all. So as you can see, I didn't choose violence today.

I've already spoken about this in my Terra video, but I'll reiterate my talking points here bc it's quicker to consume than a video.

So because Riku and Terra have similar story arcs related to darkness, a lot of us are naturally inclined to compare their stories and their behavior. However, I feel like some folks compare them with the added context of Riku’s redemption arc as ammunition against Terra. It’s comparing the life of someone who’s struggling to someone who has already succeeded, so that wouldn't be fair. So if we’re gonna play the comparison game, it’s only fair to start by isolating Riku’s behavior in KH1 and Terra’s in BBS since that's where these two made their starts.

This isn't me trying to say that one is better than the other. They both come from different lives, have different insecurities, and have different personalities. They are both flawed in their own ways. This is just a compare and contrast type of thing.

Riku was far more problematic at the start of his journey.

He actively antagonized Sora and co., worked with Maleficent (albeit it was to try to find a way to save Kairi, but still), was manipulated by Maleficent, was later possessed by Ansem, and attacked Sora while he was possessed.

Not to mention that he was selfish. He was totally fine with never returning home or seeing their parents again. Zexion calls him out on this in Re:CoM; that he was the reason why Destiny Islands fell to darkness.

I guess to give him the benefit of the doubt, the situation was more dire, as one of his best friend's heart was missing, and he was willing to do anything to help her.

Terra showed a lot more self-awareness and restraint. He was trying to do what Master Eraqus told him to do while simultaneously trying to figure out how to control his darkness. However, the desperation combined with his own insecurities made him vulnerable to being tricked by villains, like Hades.

Sadly tho, I don't think that he exercises discernment with some of the villains; Cap'n Hook in particular. And with Xehanort, he doesn't realize that he's been fooled until it's too late (which isn't his fault, Xehanort was playing 5D chess).

Beyond KH1, Riku had a lot of time to self-reflect and come to terms with his darkness, and he also had a good support system in Mickey. Mickey was someone that was genuinely curious, compassionate, and open-minded with him. He was willing to stand by him and support him no matter what. That’s somebody that Terra needed.

This might be a hot take, but Terra didn't have the best support system to be able to deal with his darkness issue. Eraqus was Eraqus-ing and Aqua assumed the worst about him after seeing the aftermath of his actions. Ven still supported him, but I think the distrust from Eraqus and Aqua had way more of an impact on him.

Honing in on Aqua for a moment, she always arrived in the worlds after Terra. From her perspective, it looked like Terra was doing a lot of fuckshit. He did leave the worlds pretty unresolved, so I understand why she was suspicious of him, especially with Terra’s lack of communication. BUT at the same time, she also didn't ask him what really happened. But anyways.

Terra and Riku were both manipulated and possessed at one point. They also both protected their friends from their possessed bodies; Riku protected Sora from himself in Hollow Bastion and Terra tried to protect Aqua from Terranort in the realm of darkness.

Riku is able to succeed where Terra couldn't. Riku was lucky to have Sora when he was possessed, otherwise he might've ended up being possessed for who knows how long. Like I said, he has a year and some change to grow as a person, whereas Terra has that opportunity taken from him.

Currently, Riku already has gone off to rescue Sora. Terra's story arc from this point forward has been undetermined and I have no idea what they plan to do with his character. In terms of the Wayfinder trio, Aqua will be training Kairi (and maybe they'll explore new worlds together?), and Ven might embark on a new journey based on his forgotten memories of the Age of Fairytales. Maybe Terra will help Aqua in training Kairi. Maybe he'll go on his own healing journey. Or maybe he'll eventually retake the Mark of Mastery exam and become a master.

I don't have a conclusion to this, I just like talking about things. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[portmantaur]

actually tho I wonder if there’s anything to the idea of remembering specific cases of feeling wronged as a minor, particularly within the context of schooling/education, is rooted at least partially in said instance being a formative lesson on your place in capitalism/other relevant power structures.

like, I was probably very much being a little teenage shit when I was like “miss I actually cannot find any reference in this classroom dictionary to the act of fighting under the definition of ‘fardels’ even though that is what you just said it means, but here it just says it’s a bundle carried by donkeys usually” and now as an adult, I even recognize that that was probably a deeply embarrassing moment for her not least of all bc I was pretty good at being the Resident Little Shit in her classroom and it is the bitterest pill to have to be like “oh I guess you’re right” to someone you actively dislike

but her response was “I’ve never heard that definition” which was a mind-blowing level of copout to my teen mind, not least of all bc like. then where even did you get the definition you just gave us. & why does you not knowing/hearing about it make it necessarily incorrect. but also.

I was devastated bc, however misguided I was in my behavior, I was genuinely excited to be an active participant in the evolution of this moment of education. I know so very little about most things, but this was a pretty niche thing I knew about bc of my v odd upbringing and hey, now it’s actually useful instead of Just Weird And Maybe Kinda Sad!

But she was entirely disinterested, and even openly offended. She never heard of it, which despite being a kind-of lie to cover up whatever else she was feeling in that moment, was also part of her way of letting me know that the bigger issue at hand was not even that she might be teaching something non-factual to a group of kids whose families were gonna have to drop a little bundle of money at the end of the year so the students could take a test that might give them access to a small amount of college credit, but that I had in a way violated the prescribed dynamic of Superior/inferior that is innate in the USA school system and ultimately reflective of the Employer/employee mindset that you are intentionally being trained into. it wasn’t just that my possible method of correcting her was disrespectful, it was that my assumption that her knowledge was not always and infallibly superior to my own, regardless of our individual histories and experiences, was somehow disrespectful in and of itself. The problem was that I was Child and she was Adult, and even though we are in a space that is technically defined by words like education and learning, my place was never to question or offer (possibly) better information, it was only to obey and accept.

like the last time I vividly remembered this otherwise possibly insignificant moment of my ancient high school days was while I was working in my 20s and we had a big binder in the back called The Communication Book, where normally the office admin or Drs would leave notices/important info and it was staff’s job to make sure we checked the binder for new info before clocking in and then initial whatever new pages were present to show that we had read it. One day, there was an announcement in the binder that changed a room-prep policy for one vet specifically, and it was in direct contradiction to information we had been given before, which confused me and I wanted to make sure I understood - but everyone was busy bc it was a mid-day shift so I just underlined that part of the announcement and wrote in the margins something to the effect of “so not [previous policy], correct?” and figured someone would answer when they could and I would check back before I clocked out since the vet in question wasn’t even working that day.

Within like, half an hour, in the middle of me prepping files up front for our next batch of patients, it was like the whole back of the clinic exploded and one tech even rushed up to the front to confront me and demanded “did YOU write in the communication book?” and I know I had to have looked like a deer in headlights because his tone would have been equally applicable if he had asked me “did YOU commit the ritual sacrifice we just found in the break room?” He even told me later on our way to the train station after work that he felt bad because he could tell by the look on my face I hadn’t “meant anything by it.”

I was thoroughly reprimanded by the office admin, and was told while I was being written up that the owners of the clinic had been informed and wanted to let me go as a result but the office admin apparently “fought for” me to maintain my position. And I tried to accept everything without complaint or objection bc I was deathly afraid to rock the boat even more and lose my job, especially over something that felt so oddly small and specific. But I was kept up at nights for weeks after this, stunned by how similar the two instances felt. What on earth could I have possibly “meant by” what I did beyond what I communicated directly — what possible nefarious intention could I have had beyond the confirmation I was asking for? Why was I being so thoroughly lectured and even punished for an attempt to make sure I was doing my job?

i realized, a little while after eventually "leaving" that job, that this was probably a case of me missing the apparently obvious fact that "communication book" was a piece of corporate-speak, and not, as i assumed, a word that represented the desire for two-way understanding. i had once again violated my role in a system by not recognizing the fact that, no matter what language was being used to dress it up, my place was only to accept and obey. asking questions, even for the purposes of making sure i was abiding by the rules of my employment, was not permitted, particularly in this format. Essentially, I was punished not for my intention or my desire to participate ‘correctly,’ but because I had failed to understand that my place in a system was not defined by the words used to describe it, but by an unspoken concept of expected deference, and I was -particularly- punished for creating a situation that required people to have to address that concept without somehow framing it so exactly.

which is ultimately doubly bizarre to me bc I heard “because I’m the adult” or “because I’m your parent” as a justification for otherwise unjustifiable behavior SO often as a kid that I feel like in both these instances “because I’m your teacher/boss and I say so” would have been a roughly acceptable explanation in my mind. Like, yeah, I still would have been frustrated, but I probably would have just filed it away in my brain as “one of those weird social cue things I will simply never fundamentally understand so I just have to treat it like a Weird Rule I must memorize”

Although I DO think it’s funny that there was a notice in the binder shortly after this that was a “reminder to all staff” that it is not permissible to write anything but your initials in the communication book, which felt like such a weird way to cope with the realization that you probably just should have labeled the binder something to do with Announcements and moved on.

[ryansjane]

I have…thoughts about ep 13. Obsessed with the choices Black is making and the fact that regardless of everything Todd has done he ultimately chooses not to let go of his relationship and history with Black. SeanWhite just vibing, nothing new here. Just shoving their relationshio into all our single ass faces. But DanYok *sigh* where do I start. The thing is for me, no one was right and no one was wrong. Yok has every right to feel betrayed, bc he’d rather die than betray one of his friends. How he would react if his friends were being threatened instead of him, idk. But Dan also had every right to do what he did - he wanted to protect the ones he loved, and this was the only way out for him. It’s not so simple, to live either within or outside the law, the lines are too blurred. While I don’t condone Dan’s actions, even if he started to redeem himself at the last minute, I can’t condemn him for them either. I’m glad that at least White understands his struggle, so when the time comes for Dan to make amends he’ll have someone on his side. NO idea how they’re gonna wrap this all up in just one more ep, this feels more than 1 ep to the finale away. P’Nuchy, I’m trusting you here

yup I absolutely agree. I really love dan as a character bc he was presented as way more advanced in his political journey at first, since we only knew him as unar. but then we discover he's a cop, and he starts expressing that he doesn't approve of what yok & the gang are doing, and... he seems to be pulling back a little bit. so for me, dan is perhaps the most relatable character in the sense that yes, he's a coward, and yes, he KNOWS deep down inside he barely even believes in the system anymore... yet he still wants to believe in some higher good that could solve the situation & ultimately save the gang. for me, dan represents the average thai citizen, who's aware of the many political problems the country has, but doesn't necessarily take a stance. it was so clear when the old guy tells dan "if you're frustrated, go paint about it" bc THAT's fine. the higher ups don't give a shit about criticism, bc firstly they're used to it but also it doesn't do anything to shake up the corrupt roots of thai politics. unar is not dangerous & never was, but the gang IS. and for me the character of dan truly furthers the message in the show that, in the face of corruption, even when it feels like you're always going up against bigger entities than you like the gang is, you cannot stay inert. so I do understand dan's betrayal, though as I said certain things he did were definitely too cruel & a personal choice he shouldn't have made, like pulling a gun on sean when he literally killed his dad & has supposedly been eaten up by guilt all those years, or even just putting handcuffs on yok himself when all the other guys got put those plastic cuffs instead by the other police officers. but for me dan definitely has room to grow & redeem himself, bc this show clearly isn't about completely crossing off the idea of people changing. hell, white's whole storyline is rooted in change, and even todd isn't shown to be completely bad. but idk how they're all gonna wrap it up in one ep though bc between them escaping the hospital, being literally wanted by the police even if they do, getting rid of tawi, dealing with todd one way or another, and dan possibly having a redemption storyline... THAT'S A FUCKING LOT. especially considering idk how dan is gonna be fine after helping them escape. basically, and as always, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

xxx

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[gay-snom]

contextualizing lwj’s coming to terms with his feelings subplot!

i wanna talk about the role of confucianism in this subplot because i think it’s something some western fans might not pick up on. basically, the sociopolitical climate of confucianism in his character arc, and a little bit about his interaction with the public image theme.

disclaimer: i’m not chinese but i do have a double minor in chinese and asian studies and have written a few papers on confucianism.

we’re gonna be talking about the novel bc i feel its a little more in-depth and nuanced than lwj’s “what is black, what is white” monologue in cql. namely the tension and misunderstanding in wwx’s first life and how lwj got his scars. i feel like it’s pretty well accepted that wwx made lwj reconsider his world view, so i’m just gonna expand on it. also i want to point out it's pretty unspoken in most of the text, but lwj is also affected by/used to explore the public image themes, as his image the is ideal confucian scholar.

confucianism is centered around the ideas of how to behave “good” in sociopolitical contexts. basically it boils down to a belief system on how society should be run. if everyone follows confucian beliefs, you will have an ideal society. the main text is the Analects, which you can read here. it’s been around for a few thousand years (like around 200 BCE ish), had a huge revival in the tang dynasty (618-907 CE). it was put on imperial exams, the emperor’s cabinet had confucian scholars, etc. this is just to say confucian values are important to historic society, especially upper-class scholars, which seems to be a role cultivators commonly fill in xianxia. here are some basic tenants:

being a gentleman/scholar/superior man (君子 jūn zǐ) : partly being learned in the arts, literature, music, poetry, etc., mostly behaving righteously and dutifully.

filial piety: usually described as obedience. it's not simply obeying everything elders tell you, it includes doing it with reverence and thankfulness for their sacrifices for you.

leading by example: if leaders/the government is righteous, the people will follow. lwj has his flock of juniors that are all strong cultivators and the lan sect is just generally known for being moral and good.

rites/rituals: a focus on politeness and holding proper ceremonies, sacrifices, and funerals

speech: there’s some great meta about the register he speaks in here, i just want to touch on think carefully before you speak, only speak sincerely, etc.

tldr; lwj is THE perfect gentleman (even his title contains the character suffix 君 -jūn, like lxc. which, while this character is not uncommon for cultivator titles, it wasn’t chosen carelessly either. also not to be confused with 尊 -zūn). seriously, look at almost all of book 10 and you'll see don't do/consume in excess, don't talk during meals, sit only when your mat is straight, etc.

okay, so Why is understanding his feelings for wwx so troublesome?

1.2 "They are few who, being filial and fraternal, are fond of offending against their superiors. There have been none, who, not liking to offend against their superiors, have been fond of stirring up confusion... Filial piety and fraternal submission! - are they not the root of all benevolent actions?"

in other words, people who are filial will never create political tension. so like, morally, wwx should be considered horrible person! he’s not only snubbed the jiang sect. he was a head disciple who undoubtedly had younger students looking up to him. and then he goes and stirs up some huge political issues! he is now a bad role model for the people below him and disrespected the people above him. lwj has an entire image to uphold, he has poured his entire life into following these rules and beliefs, and then wwx comes along. would continuing to be in wwx's life taint lwj? there are some contradicting teachings in regards to interacting with wwx:

15.4: "Do not take counsel with those who follow a different Way"

15.28: "When the multitude hates a person, you must examine them and judge for yourself. The same holds true for someone whom the multitude love."

15.36 "When it comes to being Good, defer to no one, not even your teacher."

this is part of the reason lwj had so much trouble accepting his feelings. he didn’t know how to handle this situation, making him appear distant during/directly after sunshot. if he judges wwx's intentions to be pure, it's then not wrong to be friendly with him. but wwx still is morally wrong by society's standards. now, lwj has to not only figure out his feelings, but also reconcile this with how he still thinks wwx is Not a bad person, despite everything. what if he does get "tainted" by wwx? will it hurt the reputation of his sect? that would be un-filial, right? he spent his whole life memorizing rules that are probably extremely similar to sections in the Analects, and now these mixed messages (coupled with the relatable gay panic) are overwhelming.

onto the next! there’s something unspoken in the scene where wwx discovers why lwj has the whip scars. as other posts have mentioned, lwj taking wwx back to the burial mounds and nursing him is high treason. however, this action is also extremely un-filial. also his entire image is built around being a perfect gentleman, if this were to get out to the public he would lose absolutely everything. he would be just as irreparable as wwx.

“I was worried if those from another sect found you first, WangJi would be considered your accomplice. The best scenario was his name being forever tainted, and the worst was his life being taken away right then. Thus, along with Uncle, we chose thirty three seniors who had always thought highly of WangJi... ”

there’s no way lwj didn’t know what would happen if he did this. obviously as lxc says, if this got out, he would lose basically his entire face. and even though lxc didn’t mention this, it would definitely lose a lot of face for the lan sect as well since lwj is so prominent. the decision about what elders to bring is also notable.

“...As if he knew all along he would be discovered by us, he said that there was nothing to explain, that this was it. Growing up, he had never talked back to Uncle, not even once. But for you, not only did WangJi talk back to him, he even met with his sword the cultivators from the Gusu Lan sect...”

so yeah, he obviously knew they would come for him and what the consequences would be. and he still talked back! that’s already not a good look for the lan sect. but attacking them? totally unforgivable! lwj gives up how he was raised and the importance of filial piety, what he has held on to until this major plot event. since it's basically the biggest "fuck you" to his uncle and his clan, this was not a decision he made lightly. lwj shows them he cares more about wwx and His Own ideas of right and wrong than the sect’s or society’s.

Wei WuXian dug his hands into his hair, “...I-I didn’t know... I really...”

when was the last time wwx was at a loss for words? wwx spends a few paragraphs after this lamenting how he hurt lwj, but he's not unaware of the gravity of what lwj did. it's an underlying assumption from being raised in the culture. i would argue his first instinct is "oh god he gave up what for me?" since those lamenting paragraphs are after lxc finishes speaking.

"But he said... that he could not say with certainty whether what you did was right or wrong..."

this is something thrown around a lot in the Analects, that not even confucius can say for sure what is right or wrong. what better way to show lwj is still a perfect confucian than have him paraphrase confucius himself?

“...WangJi was a model for the disciples when he was young, and a prominent cultivator when he grew up. In his whole life he had been honest and righteous and immaculate--you were the only mistake he made!”

here’s the confirmation that the world and even his family thinks of him as a perfect gentleman, the top tier of society, and it was all thrown away for wwx. this is just so heavy. the mistake thing? thats not only because lwj is fraternizing with an enemy. lxc and the rest of the sect who knew are terrified this will forever corrupt lwj personally, not just publicly. lwj was so devoted to believing this was the right thing to do he offered up everything he had. the gravity of this decision is insane. it’s very obvious that he loves wwx, it’s just that he struggles a lot internally to accept everything that is happening.

as for helping wwx leave after the massacre, is this gentleman-ly of lwj? was it actually in-line with his image? is it more honorable to save someone who is dying, at the cost of your own health, than to look away? isn't looking away a form of resentment? i wasn't able to find a specific passage about bystander-ness, but personally i think it qualifies as "bad intentions." there is also this passage for what it's worth, originally it was about government suppression:

12.19: "...What do you say to killing the unprincipled for the good of the principled?" Confucius replied, "...why should you use killing at all?..."

lwj is always more actions than words, and he was not fucking around. his core beliefs really haven't changed, and remain very strong throughout his life. he is still righteous enough to accept his punishment, graceful enough to search for wwx's body since there was no one else to do the funeral rites (10.22/10.15), caring enough to take in a-yuan, upright enough to still spend his years going where the chaos is.

just with this one action, the audience knows he has come to terms with realizing that authority isn't always just, and neither is the public opinion/opinion of other gentlemen. he has reconciled. this is him standing for what he believes is right. this is his devotion. this is his own choice. just. poetic cinema...

anyway that's it for my first meta post! i would love to hear your thoughts, feelings, opinions, discussions, other meta ideas, whatever! thank u for reading! <3

[watchmegetobsessed]

Our song - Harry Styles

this one was inspired by the jingleball performance bc it was pure perfection and UGHH im obsessed.

dedicated to my dear friend @dontworrysunflower

disclaimer: the song Homesick by Dua Lipa is featured in this fic as an original work of Harry and the reader, but it’s obviously an existing song, I just thought that it would be the song they write

pairing: Harry x vocalist!reader

word count: 5.3k

masterlist

You’ve felt the adrenaline rush take over your body many times in your life and they were all different in some kind of way. The one you felt when you were about to write an important test in school, the one that bubbled through your veins when you got your first kiss. The one that rolled through your limbs and chest when you first performed in front of people that weren’t your parents and the one you felt when you got the news that you were chosen to tour with none other than Harry Styles as his vocalist, singing on his stage every other night in a different city and different country.

But none of those were anything like the feeling that takes over every time you stand on that stage, your microphone that’s labelled with your name right in front of you as thousands of people are screaming in the jam-packed arena. Though it’s not you they come to see and listen to, but you are part of the magic and it’s quite enough for you.

You could never be the one standing at the front with all the lights shining down on your frame, having every gaze in the place glued to you, listening to your voice. That brings the kind of anxiety you’re quite sure you wouldn’t be able to handle. You are perfectly fine standing in the back, being the support system while staying on the down-low as someone else shines at the front, in your case, it’s Harry.

You applied for the job with a reason, already having a huge appreciation for him as an artist, adoring his work so far, especially Fine Line. Upon hearing about the opportunity to be part of his tour, you didn’t hesitate to send your application in and following three auditions, you got the phone call that they wanted you on board.

He swept you right off your feet the first time you met him, but you didn’t expect less from him. Everything you heard about him being the most wonderful person to every walk the planet were proven to be nothing but the truth. You hit it off so easily and become close through the process of rehearsals. His odd little jokes, that funny laugh of his and the way he always peeks over his shoulder to meet his eyes with yours made you fall for him faster than you’d have ever thought you could.

Just as fast as your feeling for Harry developed, tour caught up on you and before you could blink twice, you were living on the road, always dressing from your suitcase, waking up in a different city every other morning.

The foreign studio feels a little odd, but still somehow familiar as you walk in with your water and notebook under your arm. Random studio sessions with Harry became a regular not long after tour kicked off. Harry’s creative juices were overflowing and he was aching to record his creations, constantly renting random studios near the hotel you lot were staying currently and one night, when some of you all were hanging out in his suit, he asked if you’d be down helping him record vocals for a song he’s been working on.

“I want to hear it with your voice instead of mine,” he told you leaning against the wall, a glass of whatever Mitch mixed him in his hands.

“Getting bored of your own voice?” you teased him, bringing his dimples out with the smile that plastered across his lips.

“Could say that. Are you up for it?”

There was no way you would have said no. So the next morning you found yourself in a studio somewhere in Sacramento, singing the vocals to a song no one else has heard other than you and Harry.

The tour has now reached Denver, you can’t wait to be on the stage tonight, but before that, you are having another quick session with Harry in the studio.

When you walk in, his head perks up from his leather notebook he always keeps on himself, filled with his scribbled lyrics. A smile stretches across his lips when his green eyes fall on your frame.

“Hey! Hope it’s not too early for you,” he softly says standing up from the chair as you put your stuff down to the small table in the corner.

“No, managed to get a good night sleep still,” you smile at him, taking a quick look around, though this recording room is just like the others you’ve been in.

“I think I figured out that part we struggled with last time. Changed up the ending a bit, would you mind giving it another go?”

You nod looking down at his notes, seeing the changes he has made in the vocals.

“Changed anything else?” you ask as you watch him get ready for the recording.

“Yeah, rewrote a few lines, think they are fitting better now.”

“Have you recorded them yet?”

“Will do now,” he tells you shaking his head.

Soon enough you find yourself standing behind the mic, headset covering your ears as you are waiting for Harry to start recording and the music to play in your ears. Once he shows up his thumb you do the same and a moment later the song you’ve heard last time you two were working starts flowing from the headset and you stare down at the notes in front of you, waiting for the moment when you have to start singing.

It takes you a few runs to nail it down, but when you finally do, you can see the satisfied grin on Harry’s face and you think to yourself that there’s nothing you wouldn’t do to make him like this anytime.

“That was fantastic,” he beams once you join him at the screens where you see your voice appear as a pattern over a straight line. Harry does his usual magic before leaving it be. “Mind assisting recording my part?” he asks turning to you with an excited smile.

Nodding you let him tell you what to do and once he is all set behind the mic, you start the recording and the song. You listen to him in awe. There hasn’t been a moment when you didn’t feel the shiver running down your spine when he started singing. You are convinced a choir of angels is hidden in his throat, because it’s hard to believe he is just as human as everyone else.

He sings the whole song three times before he joins you again, listening back to what you have so far. The song is coming along pretty well and you can tell by the time he finishes it, it’s gonna be perfect. Everything he does is just pure perfection, whether he likes to admit it or not.

“You know how it would be absolutely perfect?” he asks you on your way back to the hotel. The two of you grabbed a coffee as well, so now you’re sipping on the hot drink, enjoying the somewhat sunny weather.

“Hm?”

“I think it would be best if a female voice sang the whole thing and the male was just the vocal.”

“Who do you think would fit best for it then?” you ask, immediately thinking of singers that could be perfect for the song. It wouldn’t be the first time Harry would sell a song to someone else, so you’re not surprised he is thinking about this kind of change.

“Y/N, I found the voice already,” he chuckles and you give him a puzzled look. “You. You are singing the song, I don’t need anyone else.”

“I’m not a solo singer,” you protest.

“There’s no such thing as solo or not solo. You’re a singer and a bloody good one. I want you to sing it.”

“But it would go to waste, because I would never actually perform it.”

“How are you so sure about that?” he smirks slyly at you, immediately making you nervous.

“Harry, I don’t sing solo,” you shake your head stubbornly, but he rolls his eyes at you.

“You could just try it. Let’s just record the song next time with you in the lead and then we can talk about the rest.”

“I’m fine recording, but I will never perform it,” you tell him, but his look makes you think he has other plans.

When tour reaches Dallas, the song gets a version with you singing solo and Harry doing the vocals in it. And though you had doubts about the switch, listening back to it you can tell how much it helped. It really is better with a female voice, though you are still convinced it shouldn’t be you.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sell it to someone? I’m fine with that,” you ask him before the show in Dallas. You’re sitting on the table in his dressing room while he is painting his nails, his tongue poking out in concentration.

“I told you, I like it with your voice. Why is that so hard to believe?”

“Because I’m not a—“

“Fuck’s sake if you dare to tell me one more time that you’re not a solo singer, I’m firing you, Y/N!” he snaps, giving you a hard look, but you just laugh at his temper.

“It’s the truth.”

“Have you ever tried to go solo?”

“Not for years,” you admit and watch him screw the nail polish closed, pushing it aside, his hands lying flat on the table as he is carefully waiting for them to dry.

“So then how do you know you are no good at it?”

“Because I hated it back then, so I most likely would hate it now as well,” you state matter-of-factly, but Harry doesn’t seem amused by your answer.

“So you think you haven’t changed a bit in years? I hope you know that’s absolute bollocks.”

“Why are you so keen on making me sing solo?” you sigh, giving him a tired look. It feels like the two of you have been running the same circles since forever. It’s not his first attempt to get you sing more than just the vocals, he once wanted to do a cover and needed a partner because it was a duet and begged you for weeks to sing with him, but you didn’t give in. You just couldn’t.

“Because I think that you are a talented singer and I want you to feel the adrenaline rush performing gives you.”

“I do get that rush every time I sing behind you. That’s enough for me.”

Harry shakes his head pressing his lips tight together.

“That’s not the same as being in the lead. It’s a whole different world.”

“Yeah, one that makes me shit my pants,” you chuckle and he can’t push a smile back.

“Maybe we should just work on it. Your anxiety. I think we could actually make you feel better if we tried.”

“I still don’t know where this obsession with me being solo comes for you.”

Harry stands up, takes one last look at his nails before he steps closer smiling down at you softly and you bite into your bottom lip, realizing how close he is standing to you. His fingers tap in your cheek gently, running them down to your chin as he tilts your head up a bit.

“Just accept it, Love,” he smiles softly before stepping away and carrying on with his routine.

That evening, you stand at the back with the other two vocalists, eyes glued to Harry’s figure at the front of the stage, you watch him pour his soul out to the audience, interact with them and reach that state of mind you have never been able to get into. You know what he told you about performing is true, yet you are still terrified to do it yourself. It’s too nerve wrecking to have everyone look at and listen to you, so many chances to mess it up and make a fool out of yourself.

But when Harry’s eyes meet yours and he shoots you a warm smile, something shifts in you. The urge to have this connection with not just the audience and the song, but with him takes over your whole body and you make up your mind to at least give it a try.

Harry is ecstatic when you tell him later that night that you changed your mind. You see that sparkle in his eyes and it was already worth for you, just seeing him react like that.

“Though I have a few suggestions to change the lyrics.”

“You do?” he asks, seemingly surprised, but mostly amused that you had the balls to come out with it.

“Yeah. Just some tiny details.”

“Why haven’t you told me about these before?”

“Because it was your song. But if you want me to sing it, it has to be mine as well.” Harry stares back at you with a smile that’s filled with pride and joy, making your heart flutter in your aching chest as you think about performing solo.

“Our song,” he softly says nodding his head.

Arriving to Houston the two of you are quick to book a studio and work on the song. Harry lets you make any changes you desire on the lyrics, even says you did justice to it and that you should have spoken up earlier about your ideas. And then you record it.

It’s not that you have to sing the whole song and not just the vocals this time. You are completely fine with Harry hearing you sing, it’s the thought of performing it in front of anyone that’s not him, that’s what makes you turn into a wreck.

You record Harry’s vocals and once it’s all put together, you are blown by the outcome. You wouldn’t have thought Harry’s voice as the vocal would compliment you in the lead, but it’s just absolutely perfect and even you can’t find anything wrong with it.

“Love, this is what Heaven sounds like, I’m telling you,” he smirks at you from the chair beside you, playing the song for the tenth time, not able to get enough of the final product.

“You are so cheesy,” you shake your head, but feel the blush heating up your cheeks. His eyes linger on you a little longer before he turns back to the screen.

When the song is over he finally stops is so silence comes over the studio. Harry turns back to face you, his green eyes basically burning a hole into your head.

“So, when are we going to perform it?”

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea,” you sigh looking down at your hands fumbling with your shirt.

“And I do think it is. So I’m not stopping until you at least try it.”

Harry Styles gets what he wants. Always. And this time, no matter how hard you try to resist him, you just can’t deny this from him. Though it takes him time to talk you up, in Washington he finally gets you to give it a try in an empty stadium.

Most of the crew is out, since the building has been finished about half an hour before, so everything is perfectly set for tonight’s show when you walk out to the stage, following Harry in his heels. He asked the piano to be brought to the front along with a mic on it and another one on a stand next to it. The two of you quietly put on your earpieces, doing everything as if it was a usual occasion before a concert, only that this time the roles will be entirely switched.

“It’s fine, alright? No one is around,” he tells you when he sees how nervous you are to sing the song for the first time outside a studio.

“There are some backstage,” you mumble under your breath, not expecting him to do anything about it.

But he does. You watch him walk backstage, completely dumbfounded about what he is doing. He disappears from your sight and a few moments later you hear him shouting at the back.

“No one comes to the stage until I say so! Yea? Thanks!” he orders and then walks back as if he didn’t just boss around the whole crew.

“They will think you’re some kind of crazy celebrity,” you chuckle when he returns, a small smirk playing on his pink lips.

“Don’t care, Darling. Now sing you heart out for me.”

Harry sits on the piano bench, his fingers getting settled on the keys before he looks up to meet your anxious eyes.

“It’s alright. Just you and me, yea?”

Nodding you gulp hard and jump a little when he starts playing the melody the two of you have been working on for so long. You hear all the notes and you know you have to start singing, but you miss the opening. Harry stops and looks at you, as you move your eyes down to the ground, ashamed you messed up immediately.

“S-Sorry, I just—“

“How can I help?” he asks right away, not even caring about the fact that you messed up, focused on figuring out a way that would help you.

“I don’t know. I really don’t,” you sigh, feeling your nerves getting worse with each passing moment.

“Come sit next to me,” he then tells you motioning for you to join him on the bench.

“What?”

“Take your mic and sit next to me,” he repeats, scooting over to make you space. Hesitantly, you pull the mic out of the stand and walking over you sit next to him. “Now you are not in the center. Just listen to the music, watch my hands on the keys, okay?”

You nod, running your tongue over your dry lips as you hold the mic to your mouth before Harry starts playing again.

After the first few notes you close your eyes and when it’s time for you to start singing, Harry leans a little against you, giving you a kind of push to just do it. And it works.

It feels a little as if it’s not even you who starts singing, but it is. Your voice fills the empty arena along with the piano’s melody and keeping your eyes closed a little longer you let your mind settle. When the first verse ends you open them and watch his hands work on the keys, right as he starts singing the vocals, leaning a little forward so his voice reaches his mic.

It’s different. It’s electric and freeing, hear your voice through the massive speakers, to be in the lead and have Harry be just the support in the song. But it feels so right, better than anything you’ve ever felt.

Line after line, you hit all the notes and by the end of the song you are able to strip all your fears down and give yourself over to the music completely. As you sing the last few notes you feel Harry’s eyes on you and turning to face him, you are met with his warm, pride-filled smile and bright eyes, glued to you while his fingers press down the last notes.

The music dies down, the voice of the piano vibrates in the air a little longer until it completely disappears and the silence returns into the stadium.

“Love,” Harry quietly calls out for you and you turn completely towards him. “That was absolutely perfect.”

“You think so?” you ask, voice barely more than just a whisper, your eyes never leaving his gaze.

“I know so,” he huffs, smile widening. He brings an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into a hug, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead as you let out a breath you’ve been holding in for way too long.

He doesn’t try to make you perform that evening, knowing well it was enough for one day, but he does make you sing it with him in each city in the upcoming weeks. Before every concert, he empties out the area around the stage and the two of you sit down at the piano, singing your song until you feel comfortable enough to stand next to the instrument instead of sitting next to him.

The tour reaches New York and Madison Square Garden is getting ready to host Harry Styles for two evenings. The place is massive and you find yourself sitting at the edge of the stage when Harry emerges from backstage.

“Looks wild, right?” he asks sitting next to you, his thigh brushing against yours as he gets seated.

“Yeah. Pretty amazing.”

“This place has the most magical vibe.” “Yeah?” Turning to him you watch him take the arena in, his eyes glistening at the sight in front of him. You know it’s not his first time performing here, but it’s nice to see the excitement in his eyes regardless.

That feeling returns to your chest, the one you felt when Harry told you he wanted you to sing the song. The urge to be part of this amazing something that’s so much bigger than you.

“H?”

“Yea?” he turns to you smiling.

“Can I… Do you think we could sing our song tonight?”

You watch the pure surprise and excitement wash over his face, his smile stretching across his face as he stares back at you in awe.

“You want to sing it?”

Shyly, you nod your head and in a heartbeat his arms lock around you, pulling you into the tightest hug. The two of you almost fall off the stage, laughing together at his dramatic reaction.

“Of course we can sing it, Love. Would be an honor!”

Harry is quick to let the band know about the addition for tonight’s set and though everyone seems surprised, they are all supportive about your solo. As the time goes and the concert gets closer, you can feel the nerves building up and soon enough, you start to doubt your choice to sing the song tonight.

Right before it’s time to go on stage Harry takes your hand and pulls you aside, taking your face in his hands gently, making you look into his eyes.

“I know you are doubting yourself, but just know that I’m very proud of you, even if you decide to not sing the last minute.”

“I could do that?” you whisper, your hands finding his sides and you let them rest on him, a way to ground yourself in the windwhirl of your thoughts.

“Of course. I wouldn’t want to make you do something you don’t really want. Though I know you will be amazing if you choose to sing.”

Nodding you let a weak smile appear on your lips and you notice as his eyes flicker down to them before he moves his gaze up to your eyes. He then pulls you into a proper hug before walking back to the rest of the band and vocalists.

Everything goes as usual and once again, you can’t take your eyes off Harry on the stage. Just watching him perform fills you up with life, enough to keep you from running away. About halfway into the set, as the crowd is still cheering after the previous song, Harry jogs over to you.

“You ready?” he asks over the noise and before you could think about it, you nod your head.

Two guys from the crew pushes the piano further to the front and they help to set everything up as you awkwardly stand at the side. Once your mic is in the stand you walk over there, heart hammering in your chest, hands shaking like crazy.

“I have a special song for you tonight,” Harry announces into the microphone as he makes his way over to the piano. “Please welcome the lovely Y/N here, who is gonna enchant you with a song we’ve been working on lately.”

The crowd screams and you allow yourself to look around with a weak smile. So many people, you think to yourself, everyone watching you.

“It’s called Homesick, and it means so much to us, so we hope you’ll like it Justas much as we do,” Harry adds before settling on the bench and his eyes find yours. “I’m proud of you,” you see him say, only able to read his lips since the crowd is screaming so loud. “Ready?” he asks and you nod, taking a shaky breath.

He sends you a warm comforting smile before glancing down at the keys and then he starts playing. 

Just like the first time, you close your eyes, forcing yourself to focus on the melody and nothing else. The lump in your throat is quite uncomfortable, but you open your eyes and see that Harry is looking straight at you, nodding in encouragement, as his fingers push down the keys to the notes right before you have to start.

“Here, where the sky’s falling, I’m covered in blue, I’m running and I’m crawling, fighting for you…”

Harry smiles wide when your voice flows through the speakers, filling the whole place, making everyone go quiet in a heartbeat as the song carries on. You feel your chest slowly deflating, the nerves cooling down with each sung note.

“You give me a reason, something to believe in, I know, I know, I know. You give me a meaning, something I can breathe in, I know, I know, I know…”

The chorus comes out perfect, your voice melting together with the piano and you finally feel your muscles relax as you slowly let go of every toxic thought that’s been tainting your mind. Harry leans closer to his microphone and his voice gently joins yours in the next verse.

“There’s a crack in my window, a bird in my room, angels all over that watch over you…”

Chills run down your spine hearing his voice, your eyes never leaving his gaze that’s fixated on your standing figure. You get lost in him and the song, something that came from the both of you, a piece of you and him. Standing there, singing this piece makes you feel closer to him than ever and you desperately want this feeling to last forever, hoping the song never ends though you know it’s gonna happen.

“When I’m walking on water all my dreams have come true. Still nothing means nothing without you…”

Homesick is exactly the feeling that bubbles inside you when you think of Harry. Because there’s this man you love so much, who is a home away from home to you, yet you still feel like you can’t be home entirely. Not in the way you’d want to. But standing on the stage in the spotlight, singing together with him as thousands of people are watching the two of you, yet you still manage to forget about them, for a moment, you feel like you finally arrived home. You are there, with him.

“Tell my heart to lie, but I know deep inside it’s true. That I wish I was there with you. That I wish I was there with you, oh I wish I was there with you.”

He plays the end of the song without tearing his eyes away from you, and there’s just a heartbeat of silence before the crowd starts screaming deafeningly, but that short moment… is yours and his.

Tugging your hair behind your ears with your shaky hands, your eardrums on the verge of breaking as you let out a laugh that was kind of a sob as well, relief washing over your body. Harry is quick to jump to his feet and rushing over he envelopes you in a tight hug.

“I’m so so so proud of you, Love. You were everything!” he mumbles, arms holding you so tight you almost lose your breath, but you want him this close, or even closer. You need to feel him, because it doesn’t feel real. His hold brings you a sense of existence only he can give you.

“Thank you, Harry,” you breathe out when he pulls back to look into your eyes, the screaming hasn’t died down even a tad little.

“No, thank you, Darling. You shined like the star that you are,” he grins, playing a sloppy kiss to your cheek before his arms fall off you.

You’d die to stay in this moment a little longer, but the show must go on. The crew pushes the piano back and soon enough, the next song starts. You stay in your spot for the rest, but you keep catching Harry smiling in your way, always making you blush.

The end of a concert is always a little hectic, everyone is all over the place. Still coming off the high you just experienced, you head to the dressing room you share with the other vocalists. They are going on and on about how amazing Homesick was, and you somehow still can’t believe tonight happened. Packing your stuff you barely notice that the door flies open, but you see Harry appear from the corner of your eye.

“Ladies, would you please give me a moment with Y/N?” he asks and the girls are quick to leave the two of you alone. You stand there, kind of dumbfounded, not sure why he is acting so dramatic. Once the door closes and it’s just you and him, he stares at you, chest heaving, his hair wet from his sweat, but he still looks breathtaking.

“Harry—“

“I’m gonna kiss you now,” he cuts you off, your breath gets caught in your throat as you stare back at him, completely frozen. Opposite to what he just said, he remains standing in the same spot and you’re not sure what’s happening. “Can I? Please say yes, I can’t hold myself back for any longer,” he then adds.

“Yes,” you breathe out without even thinking about it. In a heartbeat, Harry crosses the room, chest smashing against yours as he wraps his arms around you, lips crashing onto yours in a kiss that almost makes you moan into his mouth.

It’s all a hot mess, teeth clashing, hands all over each other before his palms run down to the back of your thighs, urging you to jump. When you do, you wrap your legs around his waist and let him walk over to the table nearby, so he can place you on top, standing between your thighs as he keeps kissing you hungrily, his tongue melting together with yours in this sweet chaos. It keeps going on and on, neither of you wanting to let go of the other, but you are eventually forced to stop, coming short of air. Panting wildly, lips swollen from his kisses, you look at him to meet his gaze.

“You have no idea how hard it was to stop myself from kissing you on stage.”

“What?” you breathe out.

“Y/N, I’m fucking crazy about you and seeing you come over your stage fright, sing that song… our song, fuck, that did some unbelievable things to me. Please tell me you felt the same thing!” He is begging, not just with his words, but with his eyes as well and it crushes your soul entirely.

“I did. Harry, I always do when I’m with you.”

“Fucking Hell,” he breathes out before kissing you again. “You are… everything, Love,” he mumbles against your lips and you can’t push down the smile stretching across your face, hearing him say the same words he said right after the song.

“You’ve told me that,” you tease him, his gaze meeting yours as he flashes you his famous half-smirk, heart fluttering at the sight of him.

[ophexis]

Gave a quick first try to Saints Row Reboot (Tutorial mission, follow-up mission, and a little bit of free-roaming as soon as I was let loose)

As an overall thing, the game looks pretty fun. That said I have, in maybe 30 min to an hour of playtime, encountered a *lot* of not so nice bugs, mostly all related to the customisation system, so that’s a bit of a disappointment, but these are the kind of things I would expect to be fixed soon. At least I hope they will,  or else I’m gonna question things.

I guess that considering that this is Saints Row, I’ll try to post about the game on my blog again! I think I’ll use huh....Phex plays SRR as a tag, and warn about any spoilers.

Bug details under cut cuz I guess they could be kinda spoilery? They don’t go into any game or story detail but just in case. Also it’s just my qa ramblings lmao.

Managed to soft lock in the initial character creation after about 5 minutes. Which was a bug in the demo, so I’m kind of disappointed of encountering this on release. Basically sometimes you try and go in a menu where you should be naked, but the clothes showed up and I guess the game didn’t know what to do with it.

Related to that, a lot of the menus that automatically remove and put the clothes back on are extremely buggy. Not sure what’s up with that. I had to rechoose a nipple size like 3 times and I really wish i could write that up in their JIRA lmao. Several menus seem to struggle with saving your selection...but only sometimes? Again these bugs were in the demo, but back then I assumed that it was bc it was a demo and that they’d be fixed on release.

Once free to roam in game I tried to hit up the various clothes stores bc that’s what you do. No issues until I hit leather and lace, and I don’t know if it’s an issue specific to that store, but it completely broke my clothes. I came out of the store shaved, bald, wearing a bra, g-string and socks I never bought (but I was wearing the gloves I bought!). Trying to change my clothes made me realise that my previous pants, socks and boots were now invisible and broken, and the clothes layering was also broken (boxers showing thru shorts, kinda funny). Couldn’t change the color of my gloves. Funnily enough you can go back in the store and you’ll be wearing whaterver clothes you were hovering on last, which is how I ended up as this e-boy fashion icon.

I didn’t have any issues at Branded, so this may just be a leather & lace issue. Thankfully, rebooting the game entirely fixed the issue but that’s kind of a pain. Reloading the save didn’t entirely fix it, so for now a full reboot is needed, so I guess be careful if you head to leather&lace!

[hezuart]

That anaversary aizen looks absolutely fabulous, he looks like a figure skater xd.

I heard along time ago the last arc of the anime was being animated finally bc they pulled a 90s sailor moon were the last season was not either animated or dubbed untill decades later.

I recall near the end of the current 366 episodes there was an episode were the creapy demon ppl woke up in hell and we're all bitter, and there was the other guy who was like, iM cOmEiNg FoR u IChIgO, but then is never mentioned again after and I'm like,why? Why is lt there just plopted randomly into a different arc that seams unrelated.

And locking aizen up underground seems ok, but It deff won't hold, and he will. Escape, and he will kill, you either need that one spell from star, dubbed, the darkest spell of moon the undaunted, a powerfull dark spell that killed immortal beings, that came from best character, eclipsa, the queen of darkness.

We need that.

Or stick him I'm crystal like eclipsa was in star. Is there no one who could trap him in ice or crystal for all eternity.

How about throw him into the centre of a volcano trapped and caged , forverr being killed by heat?

I assume there's space travel, send I'm into a black whole, were a black whole don't fuckin care if your immortal or fat, you will die

:3

Yes, I love anniversary Aizen. His original octopus-butterfly hollow design was ugly so I'm glad he's back to being the fashion icon he is.

Locking Aizen up underground once is one thing, doing it twice after saying he got more powerful by just sitting there, and he escaped to battle the Quincy Soul King God... is another. I think he should have escaped at the end of the Quincy arc. That is the only feasibility.

I heard the anime is coming back for the Quincy arc as well, but because of COVID its probably going to be delayed. (I'm not gonna watch it until the Rain section of the arc then I'm dipping out. I'm only here for Zangetsu)

and funny that you mention that hell scene in the manga :)

-> spoilers for the new BLEACH 73 page anniversary chapter / thoughts/critique on it

So hey you had a premonition! Syazel .... returned? And his hole is outside of his body??? for some reason???

(I didn't understand the explanation or why / how that happens and what that means for the hollow)

And my friend and I were laughing because out of ALL the things. Kubo could do in this anniversary. He gave Syazel his dick back after going to hell. That is iconic. (that's where his hole was located, and now that its not on his body ... well...) This is the funniest thing Kubo has EVER pulled. Kudos to you, sir.

The entire internet is freaking out over Ukitake being in hell. Honestly Kubo has done far worse, and we've established that Soul Society is a corrupt system that hasn't changed, so I'm not surprised he would pull something like this.

At the same time, Kubo 1. cheated his audience. 2. continues to prove me right that he cannot bring himself to kill his characters

1. Hollows who have commit murder in their human life are sent to hell. Syazel and Aaorniero are two of these hollows, and yet, when they are killed, there is NO gates of hell scene. We see them there later in the hell chapter (which was more of a promotion for the fourth movie and I didn't believe it would hold any merit)

But the same goes for Ukitake. We never see the gates of hell take him. What, was hell late? Did hell's gates get lost like an uber before picking him up? It's bull. Withholding such vital information from your audience, not showing the gates of hell when they should pick up this soul IMMEDIATELY is ... I mean its a lie. Kubo lied to his audience.

2. Now we are told powerful shinigami are sent to hell when they die. First of all that sounds like a security threat. Wouldn't shinigami want revenge for that? Or attempt to escape? Why would they still hold loyalty after being sent to a prison of eternal suffering?

Also "Yhwach and Aizen" were the only ones keeping Hell's gates closed is way too convenient and doesn't really make any sense. I feel like Aizen should have deliberately gone to hell to retrieve powerful shinigami / hollows for his army instead of keeping it /closed/.

This is definitely a Kubo-doesn't-know-what-he's-doing-and-is -making- stuff-up-as-he-goes, but it might have a pinch of merit because of previous plot lines.... but either way, there's some big plot holes here, but again, its Kubo, so I expected nothing less.

Again, he can't kill off his characters. He introduced zombification, he introduced immortality through the hougyoku, he has Orihime and Hachigen's reversal / rejection abilities. He brought back Luppi, friggen.... a character who's entire upper half of his body was incinerated. Like.... come on. No. He's dead, you can't bring him back like that. That's a cop out and just weird. You're taking away consequences and grief.

(Also Yamamoto and Unohana deserve to be in hell far over Ukitake, they've done some fcked up stuff in their pasts unlike him)

Also Kubo's favorite character is Mayuri, which.... you're allowed to have a favorite problematic character. But Keeping said character alive and bared from the consequences of abusing his daughter, murdering innocents, and experimenting on your own squad members? Nah. Nope. Kill him, Kubo. Kill this dude.

(his weird attachment to Mayuri is probably why he keeps bringing Syazel back, since Syazel is Mayuri 2.0, but Syazel is the bad guy who does face consequences for his actions while Mayuri is not)

~

Also, I'm certain Kazui and Orihime are going to be THRILLED that their precious husband/dad is going to hell when he dies :)

(I just... Rukia teased Ichigo about leaving Orihime at home. She teased him about having a house wife who he leaves all the chores to. Orihime had two panels. She checks on her son who promised he would be at home and sleep. Kazui fcking breaks his promise like it never mattered to him and JUMPS out the window after pretending to sleep in front of his mother. ... An 8 year old... alone... in the middle of the night.)

Orihime is abandoned. She is not invited to SS, she is not informed of what is going on, her son leaves her.... I...

Orihime is a side character. She doesn't matter anymore. She hasn't mattered for a long, long time.

A part of me is glad she had little screen time, since she tends to waste it, but another part of me is embroiled with rage.

I've even see people try to defend this. "Orihime and Ichigo can't be together ALL the time, that's an unhealthy relationship!" and I'm like guys... that's not the point. The point is Orihime is not part of Ichigo's other life. Any shinigami stuff from now on is none of her business. She's going to stay at home while Kazui and Ichigo go off and save the world. Ichigo is going to be fighting by Rukia and Renji while Orihime watches from the sidelines, or worse, doesn't even know what is going on with her husband and son. Orihime is going to be uninformed and abandoned, because she has not proven she is capable of fighting by their sides(go on, @ me. I will fight this. She's a failure.), and also because she prefers a human life over a dead one. Which is ironic, because she married a dead man. Ichigo is a shinigami, and he will be one forever. god forbid she ever meets his Zanpaktou. She would tremble in fear at the monsters her husband harbors in his soul, especially when she realizes they don't care about her and would rather see her dead. (Zangetsu would absolutely kill Orihime. Not sure about Kazui, but Orihime has not accepted Zangetsu, she does not like either of them, and the feeling is assuredly mutual.) frick now I want to make a comic about this

Also still frustrated over Zangetsu's shikai / bankai regression. Kubo once again lied to his audience. Ichigo has no bankai. How ridiculous is that? The main character of BLEACH doesn't have a bankai. Insulting.

(RIP to Chad. He doesn't exist anymore. He's just gone. No mention, no cameo. Gone.)

Kazui is a demon child. That character from the novels? Hikone? They're the same character. Literally same personality, same power level. Its worse because Kazui is a liar. He constantly goes behind his parents' backs. He can summon creepy fish and creepy eyeballs and open portals like is ANYONE aware of this? How has SS not kidnapped Ichigo's son and experimented on him / locked away his powers yet? All substitute shinigami require a reiatsu controlling / spy badge to keep them in line. Where is Kazui's? Or is he just a weird fullbringer?

I was worried Kubo was gonna try and pull a knock off Boruto but luckily he kept the focus on Ichigo and the others. But that being said, Ichika and Kazui are now just... sort of there? Kazui was kinda just.... having his own adventure that doesn't matter to the plot at hand, and Ichika had some nice characterization at first but she just hid behind her dad the whole time.

I have a feeling Kazui is gonna step in at the last minute or do some major behind the scenes thing that indirectly interferes with the main plot so no one will realize how powerful and dangerous he actually is. Its sad because Ichika is the superior character in personality and likability, but she clearly is not going to have a bigger part in this.

Ichigo having a normal life after everything still feels extremely boring and uncomfortable to me. Everyone's like 'I'm still bLEACH!" but.... BLEACH just... doesn't feel like BLEACH anymore. It hasn't for a while now.

~~~

There's two new shinigami characters. Didn't care for the girl, but the Sign Language kid who talks to animals is adorable ... however... he just reminds me of Chad, and I just... it hurts knowing Chad has essentially been deleted. Chad and Orihime are officially benched. They have chosen the human world, and Orihime has given Ichigo his spawn so she has no more use/purpose to him anymore... ////sigh

~~~

Also. This is claimed to be a new "arc". So is the BLEACH manga coming back? What is happening. I thought Kubo was tired and didn't want to do BLEACH anymore. I thought Shounen Jump cut him off. People made so many excuses for Kubo and why the past two arcs have been so badly written the past 6 years and now almost everything they've attempted to defend him with has been revoked.

BLEACH is going to continue to screw up its plot lines and characters, so Its probably best for it to stay dead but I've seen a lot of Kubo stans drooling over this content, they're desperate for BLEACH's return, but its already given out all its possible revelations. There's really nothing else to top here. It's just going to make things up as it goes along ,and I'm not really here for half-assed writing like that, especially since the damage of rushing the previous manga has already been done. Kubo and Shounen Jump are riding off a money nostalgia. None of this was planned.

Honestly though.... overall feeling of this chapter, not as bad as it could have been.

Syazel stole the spotlight, and he's my friend's favorite character, so that's all that really matters.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being an Avenger from outer space

Avengers x reader

warnings:

a/n: this isn’t great but like im down for some avengers hc requests

prompt:

you weren’t exactly accepted on earth the moment you got there

but it wasn’t long before the avengers spotted you

“state your name and your business here” -tony

“wait, stark, just a moment! are you a [alien species]?” -thor

“...my name is y/n, i had nowhere else to go. and yes, i am [alien species]”

i mean, this would be much cooler if the avengers hadn’t already had a bad run-in with the chitauri army

but at least you weren’t trying to destroy any part of earth

“why don’t you come with us for a while? you might be safer in our custody” -cap

you were very uncomfortable with that, but you believed that whatever you were running from couldn’t get you if you stayed with “earth’s mightiest heroes”

and that you were...sort of

the bounty hunters that were on your trail, they didn’t know much about the avengers

so they were dumb enough to strike first

luckily, the avengers took a liking to you

“this is for messing with our new friend!” -tony as he straight up fries one of these goons

you seemed to fight well with them

it made them want to keep you around more than they wanted clint

“having fun, y/n?” -nat

“honestly, yes! i’ve never kicked ass in a group before!”

“i felt the same way on my first mission with these guys” -nat

“wait...is this a mission?”

“well, yeah? what’d you think it was, chess?” -nat

“what? what’s chess?”

oh, my god, this was like thor all over again, it was gonna be great

once the battle was over, they had a question to ask you

but before that...

“did any of you kill the leader?” -you

“which one was the leader?” -sam

“the one with...with the face” *puts clawed hand in front of face for effect*

“thanks, that was really specific” -sam

“you know, he’s got...” *puts fingers near face* “tentacles?”

“you couldn’t say that first?” -tony

“i didn’t know if they were called tentacles here”

okay, that was fair

at that moment the mf hopped out and you pushed clint out of the way so that he didn’t get shot. he said “ow” :( but u were too busy tackling a fellow alien

“you let the rest of those hunters know that they shouldn’t even think about coming after me, are we clear?”

“you’re sparing me?”

“don’t be too flattered, you’re nothing but a messenger to me” *shoots him in the arm*

okay that was a power move

as you kicked this bounty hunter back into his ship, the avengers crew reapproached

“got any plans now that you’ve taken care of your little ‘issue?’” -cap

“you know, i haven’t really thought that far ahead”

“well, if you’re up for it, the avengers would love to have you” -nat

you couldn’t have agreed faster lmaoo

the government didnt like you much

the human population actually wasn’t too fond of you either

but the avengers wouldn’t let anyone touch you

thor made it his own mission to show you all the new stuff that he had discovered on earth

“and these are pop tarts!!” -thor

im talking animals, snacks, music, and more

and dont even get me started on parties

no actually i will

“so, youre from space? list 3 species i’ve never heard of before” -random partygoer

“well, how would you know im not making them up if you’ve never heard them before?”

not much of a comeback for that

you’d only answer questions that weren’t stupid

like “how far away is your home planet?” or “did you have any friends or family?” or “what other planets have you been on?”

and you had a lot of questions too

“what is pizza and where can i get it?”

“you’ve never had pizza? oh, we have to change that” -tony

“what is it though?”

as you went on more missions, you got a better feel for how to work with teammates

especially when they had such different skillsets

“wanda, would you give me a boost?”

“with pleasure!” -wanda

“why didn’t you ask me? i could have flewn you!” -rhodey

“it just feels cooler when wanda launches me, but i’ll let you have your turn later”

“y/n, we should have coffee after this!” -thor

“WHATS THAT?!?!”

you always got excited when offered new things

*muttering* “what the fuck” -you

“OKAY, WHO THE HELL TAUGHT Y/N CURSE WORDS???” -tony

“hm. i wonder” -nat

thor brought you to asgard once

it was pretty. (pretty wild, that is)

“maybe you can take me to your planet one day!”

“i’m pretty sure i’m wanted on my home planet, but i’d love a challenge!”

okay maybe he was ur new bff

“so, y/n, how long is your species’ life span?” -bruce

“im not sure that our measurements of time are exactly translated, but i believe in your time it would be....900 years?”

“oh...may i ask how old you are now?”

“wouldn’t you like to know...”

“...n-no, thats okay”

honestly? sometimes your days were nothing but lazy, so you’d learn about human pop culture

“‘tatooine?’ odd, that’s a planet in my solar system. do you think this ‘george lucas’ is an alien?” -you, lying

*cue the entire fucking team going nuts bc they’re about to believe this conspiracy*

okay but like. you KNEW about thanos. you just never thought he’d be a problem all the way out here

so when the whole thanos situation came to earth you were just kinda like 👉👈 sorry guys, shoulda said smth earlier

“you know who thanos is?” -dr. strange

“...yes. i do. he’s big. really big. and purple. kind of looks like a raisin. oh, yeah, he’s crazy. obsessed with balance.”

“balance? what do you mean by that?” -tony

“like, he likes to kill half of each population for ‘balance,’ you know?”

anyways you went back to space

“so, anything else about thanos we should know?” -tony

“he has 2 adoptive daughters, they’re both badass, i know then personally, he’s from the planet ‘titan,’ last of his kind, aaaand he has an army”

“we have a—wait, no we don’t” -tony

“are there aliens that lay eggs in people? or is that just a stereotype?” -peter

“peter, is it? i heard that you’re taught that there are no stupid questions, but that was a very stupid question”

“...i don’t know if that was a ‘yes’ or ‘no’” -peter

tony asked if you could fly the ship. no.

eventually making your way to titan

which was surreal since it had just been so long since you’d left earth

gotg in the house

“where’s gamora?”//“who’s gamora?” “why’s gamora?”//“you know gamora?” “you know gamora?”//“do you work for thanos?”//“no, i’m here to kill thanos”//“so you’re here to kill gamora?”//“what? no! gamora doesn’t work for thanos anymore, it’s been like 4 years”//“holy shit”

and then thanos popped in and nebula too and she recognized you and it was kinda awk but were just gonna pretend it didn’t happen bc it gets worse <3

u, tony, and nebula got trapped in a ship for like 3 weeks but it was good for catching up

and u met captain marvel and honestly youve just met too many people in the past few weeks u were not vibing

“so, y/n, miss space at all?” -tony

“up until we went back to space, yeah. i’m not leaving this planet ever again”

“we need to find thanos” -bruce

“fuck”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedficrecs // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck // @randomawesomeperson102 // @spideyandtheboys // @ghost-bich //

[firelxdykatara]

gods, ok, apparently i’m not done.

atla fandom? we need to have a chat.

(....ok that made me sound pretentious as fuck. and maybe i am, but this needs to be said, cause i’m getting....real, real tired of a Certain Corner of this fandom and as a result, this is gonna be a discourse-heavy post so feel free to scroll past if that’s not your bag. as always, my salt posts all carry the catch-all #salt for ts tag, which you’re free to blacklist/filter at your leisure. i’m Very Annoyed at the moment, which will probably come through in the following post, so just. yknow. be prepared for that. or ignore it, that’s perfectly valid too.)

under a cut bc i do care for my followers and their sanity i swear lmao

there’s a real serious issue in this fandom with not understanding what queer terminology actually means or implies, especially when applied to a fictional narrative.

i’m specifically talking about ‘coding’, here. (if i were in a more meme-y mood, i might have said ‘the atla fandom found out about the term “gay-coding” and haven’t shut up since’.)

to the people who say ‘zuko is gay-coded’, i have this to say: you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means. because he isn’t. i’m sorry, but he’s not! and the fact that this is such a prevalent claim in this fandom is distressing, bc it says to me that none of y’all know what gay-coding is or when and how to apply it! please, i’m begging you, go and look up these terms and what they mean and when they should be used before actually trying to plug them into your critical analysis, because when you misuse them and then call other people delusional for disagreeing with you it casts a pall over the entire fandom and is, i think, the root of some of the worst toxicity this fandom has to offer.

and the thing is, there are cases where gay-coding would apply--for instance, a couple series that are famous for queerbaiting their audience by coding their main characters as being attracted to one another (sometimes even despite their openly stated sexualities) come to mind, but those shows bare no similarities at all to atla and how zuko was written and portrayed! (and it would be funny, if it weren’t so obnoxious and infuriatingly wide-spread throughout the fandom, because the only queer couple we actually seen on-screen in either show wasn’t even queer-coded in any respect, and they’re canonically bi! [yes, i’m shading korrasami, or more accurately i’m shading bryke for refusing to give ka the build-up and development they deserved].)

this absolutely isn’t to say that headcanoning zuko as gay is a bad thing or invalid in any respect. (although the tendency for zukka shippers to do this specifically to keep zuko away from katara and/or invalidate his canon relationship/attraction to girls is more than a little eyebrow raising. especially since sokka is usually allowed to be bi, bc fans have no problem letting sukka stay in the background bc it’s no real threat, while jetko shippers are happy to have both boys be bi. [possibly bc katara is less a threat to jetko bc jetkotara is every bit as valid as any single ship between the three, but zukka can’t exactly let katara join in, and if the potential exists for zuko to be attracted to her then canon giving them the far deeper emotional bond becomes a threat to zukka’s existence? idk for sure--you be the judge.]) i prefer to hc zuko as bi (and always have, long before the atla renaissance), bc i don’t think zuko being attracted to boys is outside the realm of possibility, and it isn’t a threat to my ship since zuko&katara had a deep and emotional bond in canon that is very easy to develop further into something that becomes explicitly romantic--but the headcanon itself isn’t really the problem (although what it’s often in service to can be).

it’s the strange insistence that this is the only way to read his character, bc he was coded that way and so anyone who doesn’t see it must be too straight to understand--and i really shouldn’t have to say why and how that is so incredibly fucking insulting. (the ‘hetero lenses’ comment wasn’t cute when it came from bryke six years ago, and the same sentiment being repackaged and delivered by zukka shippers ain’t cute now.)

calling zuko gay-coded not only demonstrates ignorance as to what the term actually means, and how to usefully apply it in critical analysis, but also validates the frankly bullshit insertion of institutionalized homophobia in the world of atla where it was neither needed, nor wanted, nor ever hinted at in canon. as a queer woman i’m still infuriated by one fucking comic panel shoving institutionalized and systemic homophobia into a world where it was entirely unnecessary (and doing this in the first installment of the franchise showcasing a queer relationship??? making korra and asami worried about ‘coming out’ when they could have just gone on to have cute adventures together and tell people ‘hey we’re dating’ and have everyone else be ‘that’s awesome =DDD’ [because it is, in fact, possible to just have a world without homophobia i promise!!!!!] double yikes, i’m still pissed at bryke about it), and i doubly hate that ‘zuko is gay coded’ has become so widespread that ‘ozai hates him bc he’s gay’ has become a staple in that part of the fandom.

not only does making zuko gay and implying (or outright stating) that ozai hated and abused him because of it completely undermine zuko’s character arc by making his abuse about his sexuality rather than ozai’s toxic pride and anger at seeing himself reflected in his ‘weak’ son, but it comes very close to outright stating that abuse and trauma are inherently gay experiences, and they aren’t!!! they really aren’t, i promise!!!

abuse and trauma narratives exist outside of ‘my dad hates me because i’m gay’. and, quite frankly, there are MORE THAN ENOUGH queer trauma narratives out in the world. we do not need to start trying to retroactively make them canon in a series where they didn’t exist! if you’re gay and see yourself in zuko and project your own experiences on him, that’s understandable and valid. that does not make zuko gay-coded. and honestly, the insistence that he is makes very little sense to me, because you’re essentially trying to give the show credit for work you put into interpreting the characters! why would you want to do that? why not own your own headcanons and take credit for them, rather than insisting they are canon and everyone else is wrong for not seeing them??? like, i’ve said before that i’ve always headcanoned zuko (and katara) as bi, and even support it with my interpretations of evidence from the show, but the difference between ‘i think zuko is bi’ and ‘zuko is definitely gay-coded’ is that i know that bi zuko is my interpretation of canon, and that it is work i’m putting into the show that wasn’t actually intended by the creators/writers, no matter how much sexual tension i read into the jetko swordfight.

and like, zuko’s character arc doesn’t actually parallel a queer one all that well to begin with. it’s easy enough to do the work and twist it sideways just enough to make the general points fit, but the fact is, zuko’s arc is not one of self-discovery. it’s not one of coming to understand something fundamental about himself that he can’t change, that he was hated for, and coming out to his father in a dramatic confrontation where he shows that he understands himself and doesn’t need his father’s acceptance to be fulfilled.

zuko’s arc is actually one of trauma and healing. and those can (and often are--like i said, there are more than enough queer trauma narratives in the world, atla really doesn’t need to be one of them) be part of queer narratives, for sure! but they aren’t uniquely queer. and zuko’s confrontation with ozai during the eclipse doesn’t read like a ‘coming out’ at all. (yes, i’ve seen that post. yes, i rolled my eyes and moved on, bc unlike some people, i’m capable of not clowning on correctly tagged posts i disagree with.) zuko is specifically confronting ozai over his abuse, because his arc wasn’t about discovering anything fundamental about himself (and therefore realizing that ozai was hating him for something he couldn’t change)--it was about realizing that he was not at fault for the way his father treated him. it was also about realizing that the fire nation was broken and corrupt at its core, and that his father was an aspect of that he needed to break away from so that he could help the world begin to heal.

he says it himself:

Zuko: No, I've learned everything! And I've had to learn it on my own! Growing up, we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history. And somehow, the War was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don't see our greatness. They hate us! And we deserve it! We've created an era of fear in the world. And if we don't want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness.

making this about zuko being gay and rejecting ozai’s homophobia, rather than zuko learning fundamental truths about the world and about his home and about how there was something deeply wrong with his nation that needed to be fixed in order for the world to heal (and, no, ‘homophobia’ is not the answer to ‘what is wrong with the fire nation’, i’m still fucking pissed at bryke about that), misses the entire point of his character arc. this is the culmination of zuko realizing that he should never have had to earn his father’s love, because that should have been unconditional from the start. this is zuko realizing that he was not at fault for his father’s abuse--that speaking out of turn in a war meeting in no way justified fighting a duel with a child.

is that first realization (that a parent’s love should be unconditional, and if it isn’t, then that is the parent’s fault and not the child’s) something that queer kids in homophobic households/families can relate to? of course it is. but it’s also something that every other abused kid, straight kids and even queer kids who were abused for other reasons before they even knew they were anything other than cishet, can relate to as well. in that respect, it is not a uniquely queer experience, nor is it a uniquely queer story, and zuko not being attracted to girls (which is what a lot of it seems to boil down to, at the end of the day--cutting down zuko’s potential ships so that only zukka and a few far more niche ships are left standing) is not necessary to his character arc. nor does it particularly make sense.

(and before anyone brings up his date with jin--a) he enjoyed it when she kissed him, and b) he was a traumatized, abused child going out on a first date. of course he was fucking awkward. have you ever met a teenage boy????)

anyway, uh, that was a lot of words, so have a tl;dr: zuko is not gay-coded. there is nothing uniquely gay (or even uniquely queer) about his character arc or characterization, and he was certainly not coded gay in an attempt to sneak a queer character past the censors. if anyone involved with atla was gonna try that, it would’ve been in lok, and as established, they didn’t even manage to queer-code the actual queer relationship before the last few minutes of the final episode. headcanoning zuko as gay is absolutely fine (though if it’s only done to keep him away from female characters he may otherwise be attracted to, that smells more like misogyny than anything else), but insisting that this reading is the only one that makes sense, and anyone who doesn’t agree must be straight (hello, queer woman here making this insanely long thinkpiece) is very much not.

ship what you like, but stop trying to invalidate other ships and other interpretations of characters just to make your ship seem more plausible. it’s really not a good look.

[the-other-art-blog]

I've never interacted with the Bridgerton fandom before but I lurk sometimes and I agree with you. Since they planted the seed for a potential queer relationship for Benedict, I think they literally don't know where to go/what to do with it. I know it sounds dumb but I think they really don't know what to do, or if they do and go for a queer relationship, they're struggling really hard to make it work as something Benedict can be open with in society. I've been a historical romance reader for a few years now and the few queers love stories I read were not displayed for the entire society to see. Benedict could not dance with a man or kiss him in public and since queerness has already been shown as something to experience in the shadows, it seems a very big thing for Benedict to tackle for his arc, do I make sense? Since it's all about doing what he want and be himself without society caring, it ticks the box but they would have to have very good writing without make it like Benedict's relationship could end homophobia for everyone bc it's a bit much for a systemic issue. If he can't be out in the open, what is the point of it? That's why I think they don't say a thing about Benedict or Sophie, I think they've not thrown out the idea of a bisexual or gay love story yet but they're not sure what to do and they can't talk about Sophie all the time to then have someone else be Benedict's love interest. Personally I wouldn't be mad if Sophie was a man but I don't really trust the writers at this very moment. I think being a historical romance reader is making me a disservice here. I don't mind changes at all, I know how things are written in the media but I know what tropes I do and don't like and in making changes like they did in season 2, they made the characters do things that makes sense in a way but also make them borderline unlikeable for me and if I don't like them or root for them in my historical romance, it's not good. It's growing into it's own thing, its own drama and I love drama, Downton Abbey is one of my fav shows and it's dramatic as fuck. It just feels like they've been baiting romance lovers with the first season being very much like a historical romance book in its essence and now their writing choices are throwing me off a little bit. I do still trust them with Polin, if they did it so well for Anthony I know they can do it again. But Benedict? For some reason I'm not so sure. I care and ramble too much lol and some of what I said is obviously a "me" problem but yeah

I disagree, anon. I think they know exactly what they should do with Benedict. JQ may have ceded a lot, but she must have made guaranteed her endgame couples. From a business POV, it doesn't make sense to tell a completely different story from the one in the books. Yes, Kanthony was very different, but they're still Kate and Anthony, and traits of their book counterparts are in the series. Also, I understand that they couldn't have two consecutive seasons with the same storyline: we got caught so we had to marry and learned to love each other along the way. Even JQ said so.

So, I'm sure the production knows they have to cast Sophie and tell the story. The problem is that a section of the fandom (notably not a lot of benophie fans) and the press is pushing a gay storyline exclusively for Benedict! The reason why they don’t mention Sophie is because they don’t want to lose those viewers. They didn’t expect that kind of reaction from the fans in s1. CVD said that that was not what they intended at all. And now they have to deal with it. I think they are hoping those demands died out in the future.

But at the same time, they are trying to emphasize that Benedict is straight. He was in the art school, he could have seen a male model, but no. He saw Tessa and quickly slept with her. I think we are gonna see Benedict with other women in s3.

[koshicoast]

A few shinkami headcannons because I love them more than anything

Shinsou has a growth spurt and practically towers over Denki by their second year (for all intents and purposes, Shinsou has always been in class 1A)

Denki grows a little bit but not that much, he’s not complaining though, he gets Shinsou to grab stuff on the top shelve for him or has him hang up posters in higher places in his room (the only downside is that he has to get on his tippy toes for kisses but usually Shinsou will just bend down like a good boyfriend)

They go on dates every Sunday, It’s their day and it doesn’t matter what they’re doing as long as it’s just the two of them

They could be studying or doing homework or exercising or anything really and they’ll call it a date

The rest of the class knows better than to try and contact either boy on Sunday

“Normies worship Jesus on Sunday but I worship Shinsou” - Denki, at one point in time

Shinsou loves playing with denki’s hair, he buys different kinds of hair clips just to put them in denki’s hair

he just likes how the colors pop out

He especially likes to see purple hair clips in denki’s hair

Tbh it doesn’t have to be hair clips, it could be a scrunchie or a rubber band or a headband; as long as it’s purple it does wonders to shinsou’s heart

Denki likes playing with shinsou’s hair too but more than that he likes seeing Shinsou in yellow clothing

Shinsou doesn’t wear bright colors a lot usually sticking with black or cool tone colors

But when he does wear yellow, Denki just gets all mushy no matter how small it is

It could be yellow earrings or socks or something and Denki will wear a love sick expression all day

Despite being in the hero course, Shinsou still gets incredibly insecure about his quirk and how some people only see him as a villain

Denki, without fail or hesitation, tells Shinsou what a great hero he’s gonna be, he talks about how Shinsou is gonna inspire a new wave of underground heroes and how he’s gonna be some kid’s Aizawa one day and how proud he is of him (The first time he said that, it makes Shinsou sob. It makes denki cry too bc he’s a sympathetic crier so they just lay in bed holding eachother)

He also tells Shinsou how no matter who’s the number one hero, Shinsou will always have first place in his heart. And that Shinsou is just as much as any other hero out there and even a little more because he’ll be underground

Denki just loves his boyfriend so much and whoever planted the idea that some quirks are just made for evil is going to get electrocuted >:(

Denki will also pepper Shinsou in kisses saying things like ‘you are so kind’ ‘you’re an amazing person’ ‘I love you so much’ ‘You’re my hero’ and just a bunch of stuff so by the end of their heart to heart Shinsou is feeling a lot better

Denki gets insecure about how ‘dumb’ he is and how he’ll probably just end up hurting civilians or himself before he hurts a villain

Shinsou hates how that’s how Denki views himself because Denki is one of the kindest people in the world and doesn’t even realize it like the first time Denki told him that insecurity, Shinsou looked at him and was like ‘are you..you’re serious? Denks, You’re one of the most clever people I know’

Whenever Denki mentions it, Shinsou he just squeezes the blonde and lets him cry out his frustrations before telling him that ‘he’s not an idiot or stupid and that it’s okay not to understand something as fast as others and that it’s okay to learn differently and it’s okay’ (Shinsou will always try not to cry but a few tears fall anyways bc he just wants denks to be happy without feeling like he’s a fuckup)

Shinsou never lets Denki call himself an idiot or stupid, even in a joking way.

They don’t fight a lot because of their personalities like

Denki is a people’s person and is really in tune with other’s emotions and by default is a pacifist unless otherwise

Shinsou isn’t a people’s person but he’s observant due to his quirk bc of how he’s been treated in the past, he’s also good at picking up on people’s body language

Most times it’s just small disagreements and even then they communicate the best they can and try to compromise

If that doesn’t work then they’ll give each other space so the disagreement won’t turn into something ugly

They’ve only fought once and it was the worst (and best) thing for them

The fight happened after a mock rescue mission goes wrong and there were weeks of stress and tension leading up to it

It was messy and bad like really bad

“I just don’t get why you have to run into danger!” Denki screamed. The whole dorm could probably hear them but he didn’t care, not when his boyfriend was looking at him like he just lost his mind.

It was supposed to be a simple training exercise. Simple. Go in, defeat villains, rescue the ‘hostages’. It was not that simple.

*insert how badly the mission went and Shinsou ran towards the danger to help or smth idk*

It gets pretty rough between the two of them because they’re both pretty emotional people

Shinsou thinks denki doesn’t want him to be a hero and denki thinks Shinsou doesn’t want to be with him

It’s a lot of insecurities + stress + yelling

Denki is the first one to break, he’s a lot more emotionally sensitive than Toshi and everything is just crashing down and he hates it

“Do you just not want to be with me?!” He cries, unable to keep the tears at bay any more. He hates arguing with people, especially when that person happens to be his boyfriend. He gets it, he does! Toshi is training to become a hero and so is he but that doesn’t make it easier. Doesnt stop the shot of fear whenever he watches the other get hurt, doesn’t stop the late night self deprecation, doesn’t stop the anxiety he gets whenever he sees Toshi run head first into danger.

But he gets it and somehow it’s a bitter realization.

Because Hitoshi’s priority is the job they signed up for and Denki’s is Hitoshi.

The fight ends with tears on both their parts and they call it a night, too tired to scream anymore

They sleep in their own rooms that night

The next morning they agree to take a break, not a full break up, but some time away. Space away from each other to prioritize and think.

(Now ive seen fanfics where everyone picks denki over Shinsou and i hate that so fuck you, class 1A are both their friends and they’re all family and try and to help each other I will die with that statement)

Surprisingly the two most helpful people are Bakugou and Kirishima

(Actually not that surprising, they’re the longest couple in the whole class, dating immediately after Kamino)

Bakugou and denki have a heart to heart

“You’re both dumbasses” Katsuki sighs heavy, passing another tissue over to the sobbing blonde. He’s not good at these kinds of things, but Kirishima told him he could help the electric blonde more than he could so here he is. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong or just cry?” He asks, not without a hint of worry though. He pretends to ignore it.

So denki tells him everything and his insecurities

Oh. Yeah, Kirishima was right.

“You think I’m an idiot” Denki mutters quietly, harshly rubbing his eyes.

“No” The older blonde shakes his head, plopping down on the bed next to the other. He doesn’t turn to meet yellow eyes, his own trained on the All Might poster hanging directly across from them. He feels Pikachu’s curious gaze on him so he decides to elaborate more, knowing the sooner he helps the sooner he doesn’t have to deal with this anymore. It’s totally not because he’s gotten soft. Absolutely not.

“Trust me, Zombie Eyes looks at you like you put the fucking stars in the sky. It’s disgusting to watch.” He crinkles his nose in disgust earning a small laugh. “People like him and I, we gotta work twice as hard. Not saying that no one else does but it’s different.” He stresses the last word. “People like Ei or Deku or even you, people already see you as good so all you gotta do is get stronger. They don’t question your character, your morals, they don’t look down on you for having a weakness. People like Zombie Eyes and I though?we gotta work hard just to prove that we’re good. That we were meant to become heroes. Every action we do is put under a microscope and analyzed.” He explains.

“We’re assholes by default, It’s how we were raised. Not saying it as an excuse though. He was in the shitty system and I had shitty parents, no adult taught us shit like love or how to properly deal with feelings.”

Stupid Deku tried with him but he didn’t even know how to deal with his own much less some angry blond kid’s.

He takes a deep breath, pushing back faint memories of his childhood. The younger hasn’t said a word but he can tell he’s listening so it’s fine. “We can’t just turn off how we are. If it’s frustrating for you and Ei, It’s worse for us. Like we know logically that we’re good people, that we changed but that’s now how our brain sees it. We push ourselves because that’s all we know how to do, it proves to us and everyone else that we bled for our spot here. That we made it. Having friends is hard because we compare ourselves to them and draw our own conclusions to their actions. Being nice? Our brain says it’s a trap. Showing some human fucking decency? Our shitty brain says it’s an act. Being in a relationship? Laughable. We’re just villains pretending to play heroes to everyone else.”

He takes another deep breath, forcing himself to look away from the poster, flashbacks to their first year briefly passing in his head. Okay yeah, not going down that route. He looks over, making eye contact. He wonders if this is how Kirishima feels whenever he’s trying to cheer him up. Wonders if it’s just as hard. This better be worth it, everyone has been miserable. (Shitty thing about having been through life and death situations together is that everyone has bonded and become close like a family so when one of them is sad it’s like everyone is fucking sad.) (He loathes it because even he gets worried.)

“But despite that he still loves you.” He says softly, almost whispering like he’s telling the other a secret. “Fights his demons to hold your hand and all that shit”

Shinsou loves him? Loves him?

“How do you.. how do you know?” Denki whispers, throat sore. “We fought so badly last night, we were screaming at eachother.”

“He treats you the same way I treat Ei.” He answers,

“He changed his priorities around to try and accommodate for another person in his life, you became more important than training or studying. He takes days off to be with you, cuts his studying short if you need a break. It might not seem much to others but for him that’s huge. He came in with this one track mind but then you came along and he scrambled to balance everything. And then you two got your shit together and started to go out and I’m pretty sure he got scared”

“Scared?” Denki asks, the thought almost funny to him.

“I did.” Bakugou admits as Denki’s eyes grow wide.

“I was petrified. When Ei started to become more important than hero work, I freaked. It’s not that loverboy is choosing being a hero over you, It’s because he doesn’t understand that he can have both. He thinks everything important is a choice- that if you want something you have to give something up. He chooses hero work and he loses you. He chooses you and he loses hero work.”

“But he’s not going to lose me or hero work”

“Kinda sounded like you did give him an ultimatum though”

The realization hits him like cold water.

Shinsou gets a similar talk with Kirishima

It helps, a lot

They don’t immediately go back to eachother, instead spending the week with their everyone else and just taking time for themselves

Shinsou knocks on Denki’s door Sunday morning and they finally talk things out

It’s also the first time they say ily!!

Anyways after that fight they work harder on communicating especially when it comes to things like hero work

It’s not perfect bc their dumb traumatized teens but they’re trying and they know their lil family will always be there

I haven’t slept but yes thanks for sticking around if you’re reading this

If ur interested in shinsou’s talk with Kirishima lmk