#they killed off the hottest character in the first movie

[missdiorstar]

no he’s so hot i miss him whyd he have to die

[vintagetvstars]

Alexander Siddig Vs. Jeremy Brett

Last Poll of the Quarter Finals!

Propaganda

Alexander Siddig - (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) - The very first actor I ever had a crush on.

Jeremy Brett - (The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, The Three Musketeers, BBC Play of the Month) - "Listen, I fell in love with One Man when I was 16 and have never regretted it. Jeremy Brett is Everything. Handsome, charming, sweet, amazing voice, delightfully eccentric. Shakespearean actor best known for playing Sherlock Holmes in the 80s, he is widely considered the definitive Holmes and for good reason. Bisexual and bipolar, devoted husband, he was known to serenade friends at restraunts and hold scavenger hunts in his home, where he hid the plunger in a chandelier. Often pigeonholed into period pieces, he owned them. He was a pretty young man who became not just handsome but arresting. He was one of those people who walked into a room and instantly commanded attention, and I for one have never regretted giving him my attention." Full text propaganda included below the cut

- No Negative Propaganda Please -

Master Poll List | How to submit propaganda | What is vintage? (FAQ)

Additional propaganda below the cut

Alexander Siddig:

“At my first meeting with Garak I became visibly flustered. That was entirely my choice. It wasn’t written into the script. So I set off in that direction right from the get-go. And Andy (Andrew Robinson) obviously loved it, and that character became a series-long character because of that first scene. It’s an innocuous little scene on one of the little replimats on the station, and it only lasted like five seconds but it packed a punch because of the visible, kind of a charged, discomfort. That really made it. [...] I subconsciously keep that door open with just about every character that I play, and I always keep it as ambiguous as possible. One of my first roles was in [the TV movie] A Dangerous Man: Lawrence After Arabia with Ralph Fiennes and I played Feisal and again, not in the script, but that was charged with homoerotica and implied homosexuality. I’d just come fresh off that project. And I’ve done it numerous times since, characters that are written straight I just make sure are not quite straight. That’s just one of my things, probably because I’m not quite straight myself and that’s probably perfect." - Alexander Siddig in a recent interview with comicsbeat.com

Jeremy Brett:

“The superbly handsome Jeremy Brett, the regularity of his features made dramatic by a broken nose, the mellifluousness of his voice made arresting by a slight vocal impediment, presented a ravaged and romantic Holmes, a man who had suffered deeply and whose recourse to the syringe was the compulsion of a self-destroying temperament. His relationship with Edward Hardwicke’s transparently decent Watson was that of a drowning man clinging to a raft. The authenticity of the performance was unmistakable.” — “The man who created a monster; Conan Doyle hated the fame of his suave hero, but he couldn’t kill him”, Simon Callow, The Times, 18 December 2009.

Listen, I fell in love with One Man when I was 16 and have never regretted it. Jeremy Brett is Everything. Handsome, charming, sweet, amazing voice, delightfully eccentric. Shakespearean actor best known for playing Sherlock Holmes in the 80s, he is widely considered the definitive Holmes and for good reason. Bisexual and bipolar, devoted husband, he was known to serenade friends at restraunts and hold scavenger hunts in his home, where he hid the plunger in a chandelier. He also practiced archery in the middle of London. He could sing, he acted alongside Audrey Hepburn twice. He wanted to be a jockey when he was young but then grew a foot too tall. He had rheumatic fever as a child and was told he would never climb stairs. Dear Reader, he jumped over couches on film. In War and Peace he is very clearly the only actor riding a real horse, and is one of few actors who played both Sherlock Holmes and Watson. Often pigeonholed into period pieces, he owned them. He was a pretty young man who became not just handsome but arresting. He was one of those people who walked into a room and instantly commanded attention, and I for one have never regretted giving him my attention.

[angellettes]

𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐑 ➔ JACK CHAMPION

─ synopsis. reader is an actress and jack champion. She is playing the part of Ethan landry's girlfriend in scream VI and accomplice

─ notes. I'm not a big fan of how I wrote this it kinda sucks but I hope you guys like it ♡ genre/warnings.. none for this chapter just pure fluff!♡ my page is minors dni. this chapter is suitable for any age but minors are not welcome on my page for their own safety

You and Jack had been dating for 3 years, and unknowingly were both casted for Scream VI. You hadn't found out about both getting casted until you had to meet the cast members before shooting was set to start. Certainly the experience of being a couple and playing a couple in a literal horror movie was Certainly interesting.

you both were getting ready on set to start filming, as you had a conversation about how funny it was that you were unknowingly casted in the same movie and playing as a couple in the movie, and how funny it was. your character's name was Amira lynn. You quite liked your character. It was simple but not boring. Your character was supposed to be a fashion major, and you were also the accomplice of Ethan Landry. Your role was interesting, had a good smart, but kinda ditzy personality.

The first few days of shooting got a little boring because you were there in a lot of the movie. Your character was sort of like ethan's alibi. When Ethan wasn't around during an attack you had to vouch for him. As the characters got more suspicious of Ethan you guys had to make a little plan to get them off track, so you staged an attack by ghostface. The filming for your attack was thrilling and kind of fun, as it involved getting chased around, thrown into walls, and getting tackled several times. Next thing you knew your character was dead during the attack scene after Mindy accused Ethan. You getting killed got them off track.

You stuck around on set for the rest of the time until your last scene which would be the reveal. Your character was Ethan's accomplice, who would make calls, do occasional killing, and vouched for him if they got suspicious.

"now die a fucking virgin" Jenna seethes out as Jack's characters dies by getting stabbed in the throat. You scream out and run towards his "dead boddy and hold him "please don't leave" you sobbed out. Then your character dies by being shot in the back. You flop down on the ground next to jack, holding his hand, talking about how in another happier life you would've gotten away with the gruesome crimes you did, and would've graduated college and got married. Melissa walks up to you, shooting you in the head, and then your part is done.

At the premiere of the movie interviewers went wild and swarmed around you asking questions about you it felt to play the roles, and how was your reaction to the fans seeing you both in the same movie. You had know about the shipping mostly from fan edits of you both. And the reason why the public was shipping you is because they didn't know you and Jack were dating for 3 years. Tonight you guys were revealing it.

"How do you both feel about being shipped together by the fans?" the interviewer asks. You and Jack look at eachother with a grin. "Well funny thing is that me and Y/N have been dating for 3 years so I mean it kinda makes us feel giddy" Jack says with a confident look on his face as his arm is wrapped around your waist. All the interviewers had the most priceless reactions after the statement. Made you wonder how people on social media were gonna take it.

When you were on your way home, you checked Twitter and Instagram. You both were shocked to see people were calling you the hottest couple, and some made comments about the fact that you hid it for 3 years, but some weren't shocked because they kind of already had hints and figured it out.

Once you got home you and Jack felt so giddy about the things they said, as you got comfortable, making little comments about it, and laughing, as you held eachother. You both got in bed and immediately Javk pulled you right flush to him, as he buried his face into the crook of your neck. It was nights like this after a busy day that felt the most euphoric. Holding eachother thinking about how you would go about the next day, and just having some cute pillow talk. You both decided to have a scream movie marathon as you fell asleep, feeling eachother's closeness and warmth against eachother. You were so happy to be with this amazing boy.

You both decided to go out the next morning, and get some things to eat, and go shopping, and just have a little day together in celebration of your reveal, and finishing the movie. As you got home there were a ton of notifications on your phone. You opened your phone to see, and saw a post of Twitter, saying " Jack Champion and Y/N L/N spotted today at ///", the post had several pictures of you and Jack walking. You called him over to see. and once he saw he laughed. You closed your phone and looked up at the tall, curly haired, giddy boy you lived with all your heart. He wrapped him arms around you and laid kisses on the crown of you head, and going down to your neck.

"On camera and off, we're always sweet as sugar, and I love that about us. I'm happy we don't have to hide anymore, baby. I love you with all my heart" Jack coos at you, his arms still wrapped around you leaning his head on yours. You sigh in contentment and entangle your fingers with his. "I'm so glad we don't have to hide anymore either. I love you with all my heart, jack". You both looked up at eachother smiling, as you leaned into eachother, and your lips finally met his you knew that no matter what, Jack wold always be by your side, and he knew you would always be by his.

do not plagiarize, translate,or repost my work.

finished- April 8, 2023 , 9:16 AM

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Virginia O'Brien (Panama Hattie, Til the Clouds Roll By, The Harvey Girls)—oh god I love a sarcastic deadpan bitch. She shows up in a lot of not-very-good 1940s/50s movies as a side character who Sings One Song and then Leaves, but it always brightens up the proceedings to have her come in looking like she wants to kill everybody before fucking off and doing it again somewhere else. She would absolutely do numbers in a modern sitcom.  

Dorothy Dandridge (Carmen Jones, Porgy and Bess, Island in the Sun)— The first Black actress to ever be nominated for best actress, Dorothy Dandridge was a groundbreaking actress who deserved better. She started her career as a singer, being put in a song-and-dance duo with her sister by their stage mother, and singing in soundies (I highly recommend cow cow boogie, it's adorable), proto-music videos. She started appearing as a featured singer in films. Her star was on the rise and she soon became a star solo performer. She continued acting, but had limited options because she refused to do stereotypical roles. She finally landed a starring role in Bright Road in 1953, but it was the movie Carmen Jones that truly cemented her as a star and sex symbol. Not to sound cheesy, but she literally sizzles on screen. You can't help but understand how poor Harry Belafonte gets caught in her trap, just look at her. This is the role that got her that Oscar nom. She didn't win cause I mean #OscarsSoWhite, but she was a sensation and continued starring in films, despite troubles in her life (including a shitty director bf who fucked with her career and a traumatizing pregnancy/delivery). Outside of her filmwork, she was also an activist, fighting against racism. She left behind an amazing legacy, and continues to inspire many actresses to this day (including also very hot first (and only) black woman to win best actress, Halle Berry).

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Virginia O'Brien:

Dorothy Dandridge propaganda:

Beautiful actress and hand-working and talented singer, she's especially notable for the number of firsts she accomplished such as the first African-American woman to receive a nomination for the Academy Award for Best Actress and the first African-American woman to appear on the cover of Life magazine.

Dorothy Dandridge was a classic Hollywood triple threat, singing, dancing, and acting with the best of them. She was the first African American nominated for an academy award for Best Actress for her role in Carmen Jones and she was just jaw-droppingly beautiful.

this og of black film needs no introduction (star on the hollywood walk of fame anyone?), voice of an angel, heavenly features, just an overall stunning lady :)

Look at her!!! She is so unbelievably charismatic in Carmen, it’s insane. Her chemistry with Harry Belafonte is off the charts, and every time she puts another outdoor [sic] on it’s like ‘oh god this is a whole new level of stunning’ 🥵. She was so so talented, when she’s on screen I genuinely dare you to tear your eyes away from her. Deserves to be known so much better but due to Hollywood racism and a tough personal life she didn’t make it as big as she should have done. She’s incredible.

First Black actress to be nominated for the Oscar for Best Actress! Was the first choice for the role of Cleopatra that went to Elizabeth Taylor (we were ROBBED).

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Happy Birthday David Dastmalchian 🎂🎉🎁🎈

To celebrate, I'm stealing borrowing from my friend's @polkadotjohnson amazing idea of making a Top 10 Loved/Hottest roles of his, with an honourable mention for both~ Here's 30 of my most adored characters of his with little snippets for each, it's a looooong read, and if anyone else wants to make their own, here's a tierlist I made for this exact purpose 💗💗💗

10.

💘 Love of my Life - Dr Fearless

My cringefail boyfriend, I love every single headcanon I hear about him. He was so damn cute even before I fell in love, and now every time I see him I start giggling and kicking my feet lol 😚 I adore how much fun DD has with him, and honestly I’m gunna dress as a vampire for Halloween this year /)w(\ been like 20+ years but I really really wanna do it!

🔥 Hottest Role - Whistling Marauder (Bird Box)

Mother of mercy. We rewatched the whole movie just for him, so naturally he shows up near the end and then died ;w; but that outfit, holy hell. Oh my god. I’m such a sucker for bad boys and this guy is going around forcing people to stare at this eldrich being that’ll destroy you or drive you mad. And he looks goddamn great while doing it. Gunna attach myself to the chain on his jeans. Okay I’m normal again, what a way to start off the list lmao

❣️ Honourable Mention - Luke (Singled Out)

Douchebag. Shitty brother who’s also great if only to save his own ass. Thief. Pure idiot. Irresistible. I knew the moment I saw the clips on youtube that he would so be my type, and seeing the full pilot only proved that. Dude picked a burger over getting his sister, he would treat me so wrong half the time, but then he’d make me waffles and it’d be all better 😊

9.

💘 Love of my Life - The Writer (Making Love)

This one breaks my heart so much. I’ve been in a relationship like this before, and I really want to save him from his. He’s beautiful, he’s talented, his outfit is hot as hell with all the rings and bracelets and necklaces, not to mention the undone shirt buttons, he’s got the emo bangs, he is the complete package for me. The only reason he isn’t higher is because I fell for many others first. I almost never watched this one because my brain was going haywire trying to imagine what kinda scenes I’d find in something with a title like that, and sure enough my face was so red the entire time since I watched with headphones and it starts with him whispering right in my ear, like him asking, ‘Do you love me?’ nearly made me cry, I love him so much. If I could bring specifically him to life I would love the hell outta him until he stopped needing such a painful, self-destructive fake love with the Woman QwQ

❣️ Honourable Mention - Nick (Love is an Elevator)

This one is just a silly little guy /)w(\ right from the start he’s so adorable, I would melt if anything even close to his interaction happened to me, and him just swooning and saying she was beautiful before bailing in tears is so me-coded TwT I would love to go out on a date with him!

🔥 Hottest Role - Abra Kadabra (The Flash)

Abra was so tricky to place because I love him, but as soon as I remembered his buckle outfit from his second episode I knew he had to go under Hot. Like, again, I’m so weak. I love his attitude, I love how he just wants that applause for his showmanship, his ‘powers’ are cool as hell, and DD has the wand in his home now and I think that’s so damn cool 😊 The reveal with him wanting to bring back his alternate timeline family was so sweet I almost cried, and he definitely didn’t deserve to be killed out so instantly right after his redemption. Not even a fan/watcher of the show, but in my head I’m having Flash warn him about it since he’s from the future, so he’s fine now 😌

8.

💘 Love of my Life - James Lewis (Teacher)

James was also incredibly difficult to place because I love him so much ;w; The entire movie I was rooting for him, guy did nothing wrong in the face of what was going on around him, and granted he did take things too far, but… villains are hot 😳 so I won through that entire movie. And he lived! And kept getting to teach! I remember I pointed at the screen when he was putting books away cause that’s my job lol I felt truly close to him in that short moment 😂 Anyway, Arabella didn’t deserve him, like she wasn't into it from the moment they met, every single time he talked she would do this 😬 guy was going through hell and was very clearly in a bad place all around, I can’t fault him for drunkenly saying the wrong thing if it were me, even if it did really hurt me. Gunna give him a new wedding ring to put on when he gets outta prison.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Hector (Premature)

He’s so cute!!! I may be weak for villains, but I adore his sweeter roles as well, I’m so glad I got to see him. If I moved to a new city and he was my neighbour I’d know I’d be okay, because honestly he needs to be my roommate like yesterday. A chef who’s afraid to cook because of OCD, I’m sure he’d be able to help me with my own cooking from a safe distance, and I already have some practice as my sibling has OCD and is very strict about how her food is handled, so I’ll have come full circle. I just need to make him more okay with cuddles first…

🔥 Hottest Role - Denham (A Killer of Men)

Denham was another one that was hard to place, because that axe twirls makes me insane, but with what little screentime he gets it all evens out. Another great villain, he’s just senseless violence in a bloody wedding dress and he works it. Love the look, love the vibe, if the world ended and the whole gang was coming at me I’d be honoured if he was the one who got me (I swear I’m not that deranged lmao just thirsty)

7.

💘 Love of my Life - Simon Lynch (Almost Human)

Even now I feel like Simon should be higher, especially since I’ve written my fic about him as well as my deep dive. I’ve said it before but my heart really went out to him, the deep dive says way more than I can fit it here, which probably means he should be higher lol so give that (and maybe the fic too 👉👈😌) a read if you haven’t already, all my love for him went into both.

❣️ Honourable Mention - James Harris (The Employer)

Another adorable character, the bar flashbacks had me blushing every time. We all knew it’d be him, but I’m so glad he pulled through at the end. I want this one to be happy, especially after everything he went through. Absolutely cutiepie, gunna be the one to pay for his dinner after he gets home 😊

🔥 Hottest Role - Dwight Pollard (Gotham)

Since I go into all of his roles blind, I had no idea what to expect for this one, but from the start I was hooked. Having him be a crazed cult leader with the biggest, most feral smile and laugh ever stole my heart the things I would let this man do to me sakndskjds I liveblogged his eps to a friend of mine who’s seen Gotham and has been trying to get me to watch it for ages cause I love DC, so she was thrilled as I sat here screaming about everything leading up to his ending :’D I’ve gotten some encouragement to write him, so when I do it’s gunna be so insane I’ll have to tag the hell outta it lmao (btw making these gifs nearly killed me oh my god I need him)

6.

💘 Love of my Life - Joshua Whitmore (Cass)

All the pain I went through trying to get this movie was worth it because it all led to him. I love him, I adore him, I’m so incredibly glad that so many others got to see him and love him too thanks to my trials and tribulations. DD’s only artist role, I got to connect with him on a personal level not shared with the others, and my desire to make sure he’s safe and taken care of is so strong that I wrote 26k about him, they’re two of my most favourite things I’ve ever written. I’ve thrown the ending of the movie out and completely placed it with my own, which can be found in my fics, and until Hugh Schulze DMs me personally and tells me what his vision was, that’s what I’m sticking with forever. So rest easy, he’s free from New York and buyers and dealers and the street and he’s safe and happy and painting again ;w;

❣️ Honourable Mention - Thomas Schiff (The Dark Knight)

The OG, a lot of people’s first roles of his, including mine. I remember seeing this movie in theaters when it came out so that means I saw him up there, on the big screen, and something about him stuck around in my brain until I finally realized my love QwQ Even if he isn’t as fleshed out in my mind to make the actual list, I still needed to include him in some way, I hope he got placed somewhere that wasn't Arkham after Batman stepped in.

🔥 Hottest Role - Cam (Relaxer)

I will never watch Relaxer again. Couldn’t even do it while I was making his scenepack cause so many horrible things happen to Abbie I couldn’t take it. But Cam, oh my god, I need this man. Someday I wanna write this huge fic about the reader trying to date him, and there’s no redemption. He’s still terrible at the end. But that’s what we all love about him, how shitty he is and how the potential is there for him to make us all worse. He sucks, but in the best way, and I kinda need him to maybe bully me please 😳 (making that first gif nearly made me blackout why is he doing pushups)

5.

💘 Love of my Life - Bob Taylor (Prisoners)

When I started adding names to my list of men I loved, Bob wasn't even on it at first I think, despite liking him in the movie. Then I saw more with him and added him to crushes. Now I’m fully in love with him, and he breaks my heart every single day. He was hurting for so long, even when we were watching I couldn’t place the blame on him while the rest of my family were convinced just like Loki that he was the one, but no matter what I couldn’t. The second I saw his sweet smile I told them there was no way it was him, and sure enough I was right. Another character who didn’t deserve what happened to him, I’ve been slowly helping him with my headcanons, but in my personal queue I have a fic planned for him and he will have no more sad days when I do 😭 I also have a bunny plush I’d had for years, my dad bought it for me and it’s been sitting on my bed ever since, and when I’m sad I hold it and pretend Bob gave it to me, it’s honestly got me through some much needed therapy because if he could go about his day with that kind of trauma then I could be brave and call about my own mental health :’)

❣️ Honourable Mention - Lonny Crane (The Belko Experiment)

This one’s a bit of a double whammy, cause I love him, but the switch to violence had me staring 👀 Either way, he didn’t deserve his death, but since it is a killing game type movie he was doomed from the start, at least his seemed instant 🥺 Someday I’ll write a fixit for him too, it was just too much for him back to back to back, he really didn’t deserve his final moments to have him as a villain even though I would really love to be lifted up like that aklskjdskds okay I’m normal again

🔥 Hottest Role - Ray Watkins (The Rookie)

Have you seen this man? No really, have you seen him? The twirl, the shirt lifting on his hips, the cold but also fun villainy, the nonchalance to mask the cruelness underneath. I need him. This one is not a Want, he is a Need and I need him. I hope that he gets to come back in the future to fully wrap up his plot along with the cop’s plot, pleasepleaseplease, otherwise I will die unsatisfied.

4.

💘 Love of my Life - Kurt Goreshter (Ant-Man 1-2)

I believe he might’ve been the second role I’d ever seen, but only after I really got into the MCU after Endgame. I skipped Ant-Man in my original watches, since I was mostly just into the Avengers and Cap (mainly Bucky lol) in general, but when I finally did a full marathon I really enjoyed the first movie. Cannot remember my feelings for him now since it’s been about 4 years, but I do know when I went back to rewatch in March I fell the second I saw him 🥰 the hair, the accent, the outfit AGAIN, and those hand tattoos, this is another Perfect Man. My crush on him is incredibly strong, it told me that yeah I was really starting to fall for DD (at that point I’d just seen Demeter a few times, and then Oppenheimer on accident) and it officially kicked off my marathon that eventually led me to my collection I have today. 

❣️ Honourable Mention - Lester Billings (The Boogeyman)

My family actually watched this without me way before my crush began, so when I saw he was in it I just had to finally sit down and watch it myself. Cue me hurriedly typing to my sibling when he showed up lol this man is SAD! He’s so beautiful and sad, I just wanna make a new family with him (I would be a parent for him, that’s the extent of my love) so he can be happy again. I love the backstory I made up for him way more than the original story, sorry Stephen King but you made him awful and I don’t want that one. I’m gunna save this man and he WILL smile again, that’s a Ray Guarantee.

🔥 Hottest Role - The Vampire (Cora)

Now, to start, this one falls prey to Very Bad Writing Choices. I will not deny that. Like, even with the allegory of the whole thing (that I did not see cause I just saw a short vampire story honestly) it's very much Not Good. But that’s why I’m removing him from the short and keeping him. In fact, go read polkadotjohnson’s fics on him, they’re fantastic and I adore how she wrote him. I someday wish to do my own, because otherwise everyone who can’t look past the Very Bad Writing Choices are getting straight up robbed of this one. Those double fangs need to introduce themselves to my neck pronto, you see what I’m saying? He’s so goddamn hot, DD needs to play a very serious vampire role again so everyone can see the Vision, he wants to do it, I need to win the lottery so I can fund this movie myself, that’s my new life’s goal.

3.

💘 Love of my Life - Jack Delroy (Late Night With the Devil)

The first movie I saw in theaters after my crush began! My friend saw him in a tweet about it and linked me to it so I thought it was already out, but I ended up having to wait two weeks and it nearly killed me ;w; I went in completely blind, which is good cause the trailer spoils so many great shots unfortunately, and the entire time I was swooning. Like, I usually whisper to my sibling during movies if we have comments, we’re very talkative at home when we watch stuff, but this time I was just sitting there staring with hearts in my eyes without pause. I’m in love with this man, plain and simple, I’m so glad I was able to get to see it since it didn’t come to the theater closest, we had to drive an hour away and when dad joked about me paying for the tickets since I was the one who wanted to see it, I did in a heartbeat. I wanted to see it again, but it was only there a couple weeks, so by the time I was able to go it was gone and I’m still upset about it. I’d sell my soul for this man, I love writing for him so much, I’m so glad my crush on Wojchek bloomed just in time for me to see this.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Hank (Virgin Alexander)

I avoided this one at first because the trailer was making me cringe and I was going crazy over what kinda sexy awkward role he’d have in it, but I was pleasantly surprised in the end. I think the movie is actually cute, despite some stuff still making me cringe, and Hank is literally the most perfect boyfriend. If he showed up randomly in my life I would date him in a second, hands down. He’s so shaped like a friend, I know I’d always have fun with him even when we’re not Having Fun, and that’s all you can ever ask for in a relationship 😊

🔥 Hottest Role - Breck Montanari (Double Black)

Okay first of all I gave him that last name. Second of all, I wrote 70k about this man and I am so in love with him that I own him now. I’ve taken him from Sara Woomer, he’s mine now. He has a full past, gave him a future and a partner, there’s no way I couldn’t have fallen in love with him. Unfortunately that fic will never be shared as it’s private, but know that, again, until Sara Woomer DMs me personally and shares everything else about this world, this is my new canon for him. And the cult. And the entire area where he lives. And several of the members. And the new Double Black who was such a chill dude that I made my bff love him too. This is my secret legacy. He only lost out to my #2 because there’s no way he couldn’t be my #2.

2.

💘 Love of my Life - Wojchek (The Last Voyage of the Demeter)

The reason I finally learned his name QwQ I went into this movie blind, dad really wanted to see it and I love horror so I went with him, and the second I saw him I said, ‘Oh that guy! I know that guy!’ since by then I’d seen Kurt and Abner a few years earlier and vaguely remembered him. I spent the whole movie then dreading his end thanks to the opening lines, and I’m pretty sure I quietly yelled at the screen when he fell and then got got after praying he’d be okay TwT After Abner, he’s the first DD role I ever shipped with, and when my crush officially restarted I ended up writing my entire plot for him and Addy that night before bed. I love him so much, he’s my jolly sailor bold who stole my heart by crying over the thought of having to lose his home. He’ll forever own a special place in my heart because of all this, I can’t imagine anyone else taking this spot.

🔥 Hottest Role - Murdoc (MacGyver 2016)

Murdoc was the first TV role of his I checked out after I saw as many movies as I could that interested me (mostly all the ones on Prime sans a couple, my collection was very very small by then) and the moment I saw him be mentioned I was ready to go. The Alice in Wonderland vague text, running and then getting shocked before falling two floors, showing up with that hair, I was not prepared for everything else they were about to throw at me. Murdoc is one of my most favourite characters now, he’s so much fun, I adore everything about him, I’ve only edited with him twice and written him once, but I need to do both so much more! This one is hot as fuck, he’s adorable, he loves his son, he’s got tools, he’s utterly sadistic, he’s a silly little guy. This is another Perfect Man, I cannot wait to decide on his plot with Addy because there’s too many fun possibilities I honestly might just make multiple.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Willy Cunningham (The Domestics)

Now… you might all be thinking… why the hell is this guy a #2 honourable mention in the face of all the others… and the answer is… I’m a freak 😀 I’ll never say, but my eyes were opened to him, and my god, I will literally never be the same. I just need him and that insanely feral energy okay, lemme have this.

1.

💘 Love of my Life - Abner Krill (The Suicide Squad)

The love that started it all, I think I fell for him the moment he walked outta his cell and got teased. The love I feel for him goes so deep, it only compares to one other, and whenever I work on my plot for him and Addy I always get choked up. The ultimate one who didn’t deserve what he got, I actually refused to watch the movie again after he died, straight up did not watch until my marathon started, and as soon as I saw him in that cell it all came back. I instantly fell back in love with him, and thus his Addy plot has the most love put into it to make sure he’s happy and safe. I thought that maybe there’d be another to win my heart as my marathon grew, but nope he’s still there sharing it with my other #1, and seeing him can instantly bring a smile to my face no matter how I’m feeling. 

After the movie I read the trivia again and my crush on DD himself began, so it’s all thanks to him and Wojchek that I’ve met the people I know today and have created so many things in such a short time. When I hit my lowest low in years I just sat at my desk and held the funko I have of him and just cried it all out, and it honestly helped me get out of that spiral. Thanks to him I now have a Polka-Dot Man collection (still missing one figure and maybe a signed print and poster 👉👈🥰) and if I could get a plushie of him to join the ton I already have I’d buy him in a second. Maybe someday, if I have any courage, I’ll bring my funko or something to a con where DD is attending and get it signed, either him or my other #1, and I’ll cherish it forever.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Jude (Animals)

Like all the others, I went into this movie completely blind. I didn’t know DD wrote it or its significance to him until after it was over and the credits rolled. So the entire time I was watching I was falling in love with him, he was so incredibly my type in the moments he was actually happy that it’s insane, I spent the whole movie just saying how much I would date him in better circumstances. We were sadly betting which one of them was going to die as things just got worse, me and my sibling were watching so miserably, and then we were rewarded with a happy ending despite the bittersweetness. And then the credits rolled, after me repeatedly wondering why he’d accept a role like this after knowing at least about his addiction and it all fell into place. I haven’t been able to watch again so far now that I know a lot of what happened to Jude also happened to him, it breaks my heart too much, but I still love him deep down and I hope he was also able to heal after the credits rolled.

🔥 Hottest Role - Johnson (Reprisal)

Tied for first with Abner as the ultimate love of my life and claiming this one all to himself, Johnson is the Most Perfect Man. Literally, no other DD role can top him in my heart aside from Abner. I honestly almost skipped Reprisal entirely because the promo image on his imdb didn’t grab me (I’m such a fake fan I’m so ashamed of myself), but when I was done with everything else and wanted to see more, I downloaded it without ep9 since he wasn't in it, and started watching. What followed next was me falling so in love with the show that I spent forever trying to get that missing episode back from near dead torrents cause I needed to watch it even though he wasn't in it. Reprisal is my Roman Empire, I am constantly thinking about it and him and Matty, not just for my fic but just because I love it all so fucking much. 

Johnson himself is so fascinating, I’m incredibly in love with him and everything about him, he’s unlike any other role DD has played that there’s a complete disconnect in my mind, he’s just Johnson. He’s so goddamn hot I missed out on literally everything the first round because I was watching him so hard, Matty and Ethan were nonexistent to me and I’m madly in love with Matty now so let that sink in, and when I rewatched it immediately after with my parents it was like I was watching for the first time. I’m loving writing for him (and Matty and Ethan of course) so much that my thoughts go back to him daily, and it almost always includes me being on the verge of tears because of how insanely good this script is and how these boys bring me so much joy while also shattering my heart. 

Making the gif below no joke did make me cry like this show is my greatest weakness right now you guys don't even understand how much it and Johnson mean to me.

I need to edit more for him and them and the show in general, if I had endless money and all the confidence in the world I would truly fund this show single handedly so it can finish the way it was supposed to. I’m so mad at Hulu for giving me the greatest love(s) of my life before taking him away years before I’d ever know him, with no physical media or merch to at least collect to numb the pain. At some point I need to get some promo pics printed out as actual posters, I need this show on my wall so I can always see him.

[thegirlwholied]

fellow period-piece swooners, I have a movie rec for you and I am downright flexing my hand about it. and I am sorry, so sorry, that you cannot watch it right now- because I attended the world premiere at TIFF last night and apparently it's still seeking distribution which means unfortunately there are no gifs yet for me to reblog - but this is your notice to keep a weather eye:

the movie is the Widow Clicquot. the plot is champagne!

...not the celebratory spritz and spray of it all, but the dedication and innovation and passion and knowing-your-taste-and-insisting-on-it of getting bubbles to be just the right size and fuck Napoleon's embargos actually...

also, the people expressing opinions about Napoleon are a British cast pretending to be French - which I guess appeals to the piece of my soul that is Les Mis.

it's beautifully filmed in a way I specifically associate with Pride & Prejudice 2005... which makes sense given the director, Thomas Napper, directed the second camera unit on P&P 2005 & Atonement & Anna Karenina & etc. Joe Wright, who directed those, is a producer here (and was on stage last night & I had no idea who he was whoops).

there's a scene of exploding champagne bottles that may haunt me forever the way the floating cotton in North & South 2004 does. that & the vines.

to quote Taylor Swift, "it's giving cinematography."

the Widow Clicquot herself is played by Haley Bennett (who has been in many things I haven't seen...yes I had to imdb Haley while sitting in the row right behind her but) who I have seen before in Music & Lyrics! As Cora Corman! "Way Back Into Love"! & "Buddha's Delight"- I believe in karma (la, la, la)

anyway she's great in this - the Q&A host after called her performance "transcendant", not wrong - she had a SAG-AFTRA waiver to be there, and thankfully because this was very apparently a passion project throw-everything-you-are-into-it role for her. And her post-movie quotes speaking both about the character's passion and her own- "do something that makes you feel like a goddess!"; "do what you love and let it kill you"- made me a fan.

the Widow Clicquot's dead husband? Tom Sturridge, The Sandman himself and playing just as much a dream as Dream (note: I do not promise "dreamy" I promise "dream" which can also have adjectives like "wild" and "fever" applied). You need a good voice when leaning on some voiceover from letters/memory for a character; he sure has it.

but. Sam Riley. aka Mr Darcy from Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, and Maleficent's hot raven (and looks even better in this imho)- his character is Louis Bohne, Veuve Clicquot's wine merchant, and as much as the Widow herself, his character made me go, "I need to read the book" to learn how much was history v fiction there.

the character dynamic was: damn, of course you're cool with your husband's libertine BFF/possibly-lover, you're secure and he's such fun company.... your husband's tragically gone but his friend helps you out & appreciates your true love of the vineyard without overstepping... well. get yourself a friend you can both giggle with over how hot the new foreman is (Leo Suter filling a historical-eye-candy role) ... AND hook up with yourself. you go girl, & bless your hot bisexual heart fictionalized Louis Bohne.

(hottest kiss in cinema off the top of my head is always the Timothy Olyphant & Jennifer Garner first kiss in Catch & Release. But some scenes here flirt with that level, & it was the Widow/Louis scenes for me).

the sound alone made this one worth seeing in theaters; sounds were so well used (maybe when a movie is so much about taste, & you can't convey taste through a screen, you double down on the senses you can) and it was scored by Bryce Dessner from The National (whose brother has been collaborating on Taylor Swift's recent best tunes)-

the Widow's name is Barbe-Nicole and not to make a Champagne Barbie reference but this hit in the spot Barbie also reached for, in a subtle way, with the effortlessly close relationship she has with her maid (Lizzie from Peaky Blinders! thanks imdb, knew I knew that face) and the woman in a man's world of it all - obviously one who created a successful dynasty of champagne and how did I never know how instrumental women have been in creating champagne as we know it, about to jump down a historical rabbit hole here-

+ also. grief. "you don't understand. he wasn't just someone's first love". an early line + the one that stuck with me.

anyway. not to say I think it's a perfect movie (there were a few "wait I need more information" beats that left me feeling like I *need* and not just want to read the book)... and it didn't make me think "this better be up for an Oscar" (One Life, with Johnny Flynn & Anthony Hopkins which I saw Saturday: made me cry & should be)- though I think it could be for sound!... and I don't know if I'd say it's the movie I enjoyed the most (Flora & Son, out Sept 29) or learned the most from (Paul Simon documentary, all 209 minutes of it, probably takes that of the 4 films I saw)-

But it's the one I'm writing this post about. & I'm going to get the book. It made me want a bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne. & to go to the champagne region. & to see gifs of it on my dash, immediately. & I would read fan fic if there was some- it built the characters and its own movie world enough for that, with enough space left to wonder- and when a movie can do that, it thrills me.

anyway Tumblr, or at least the side I always land on. I think you'd like it. I think it's your kind of movie too. and it's filled with a lot of love from people who clearly loved making it. here's to independent productions and the unions fighting for fair deals to make a living doing what they love, here's to feeling like a goddess, here's to gorgeous period pieces and gif makers of scenes to come, here's to the author in the audience who got to see her book on screen- and the movie star who got it made and all of us still working on making our own art into something that can be seen someday. Here's to the passion of creativity in whatever shape it takes, pour the champagne 🍾🥂

[nostalgia-tblr]

actually despite my jokes (and, frankly, if you called your movie 'infinity war' then you've walked right into those jokes on purpose as soon as it's longer than 90 minutes) avengers: infinity war is so far quite entertaining and i can remember most of the events in it. i am sure this will fall apart as we enter hour nine of the runtime (YOU WALKED INTO THIS, NUMPTIES) but i got distracted long before this in the Ultron one and the first Avengers movie is... well, it's a movie, isn't it? if you sat someone down and said "here's a massive chunk of money, make me a movie that makes a more massiver chunk" it's what a lot of people would make. there's a movieness to it, is what i'm saying.

(HOTTEST TAKE: Avengers!Loki steals the show primarily due to the fact that there are very few scenes where things slow down and some kind of proper conversation is had and he was in most of those, aided by having an existing emotional connection to an Avenger.)

the main thing that LEAPS out about Infinitely Long Wars (WHAT DID I SAY EARLIER ABOUT WALKING INTO THIS) is how eager it is to either kill off characters considered "inessential" or to pretend it's going to do that to keep you on your toes. it seems like this would not lead to an especially enjoyable cinema experience for anyone actually invested in any of the characters, even the "essential" ones 🤷

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

Thank you so much for answering my question about what would happen if Theodred survived the battle of the Fords! I haven't read UT yet, and it's been a while since I read LOTR books. I'm glad I have someone like you to ask 😉 What you said makes a lot of sense. But what if everyone thought Theodred died, but he didn't? Sort of like the situation with Aragron in the movie falling off a cliff and then coming back in time to warn everyone? Would everyone thinking Theodred is dead temporarily appease Isengard? Also, this is a bit random, but who do you imagine as Theodred? The actor they had for him in the movie seemed very young. Thank you so much!

First, let me take my obligatory opportunity to plug Unfinished Tales! It’s not for everyone and of course no pressure, but if you’re a LOTR fan and are ever looking for something new, it’s great.

As for Théodred managing to survive the battle under the radar: I think that would have been hard. One of the most horrifying things in UT is that Saruman’s orc-men fought like hell to take Théodred’s body back to Isengard with them, so I think they’d been told to be damn sure and wanted his corpse as proof. It was only thanks to Grimbold and Elfhelm that they didn’t get it!

But let’s say the orcs made a mistake and left thinking Théodred was dead when he actually wasn’t. In that case, I think events would largely play out as they did in canon, but just a little easier. Isengard would have waited that extra week before invading, as they did in the books. Théodred (to the extent he was uninjured enough to still be active and aware) would have celebrated the healing of his father and been relieved to see them go to war to defend themselves. Rohan still would have won Helm’s Deep, perhaps with less loss for having another very skilled leader on hand. They would have gone to Gondor and won the Pelennor Fields, again likely with fewer casualties by virtue of having Théodred’s help and skills. Théoden would still have died because Théodred would have been off commanding his own éored just as Éomer was (and, of course, no man can kill the witch king!).

Then it’s just a question of whether Théodred survived the war. If he didn’t, then everything is exactly as it was in canon. If he did, then he’s king (something that Éomer would have been happy about, as UT tells us he had no ambitions to power and absolutely adored his cousin). And a Théodred-led Rohan probably looks much the same as the Éomer-led Rohan did, since Théodred was Éomer’s mentor. So more consistency with canon!

Those would be my best guesses, though, as always, I’m happy to hear others’ thoughts and ideas! As for what Théodred looked like, I absolutely agree the actor in the movies was too young. Théodred was in his 40s and significantly older than Éomer, but in the movies they look like peers. When I write, I usually leave character descriptions a little loose so that people can picture them how they want, and I still definitely encourage people to make your own mental image of Théodred looking just how you want him to. But in my own mind, I like to picture him as a slightly older version of Sawyer from the TV show Lost, who is (IMHO) one of the hottest men to ever live and the possessor of the greatest dimples to ever grace a cheek.

Thanks so much for your interest in Teddy!! Feel free to drop by any time! ♥️

[kyuuuu]

Finally saw the GGGNK movie

Just an unhinged train of thoughts about the film. Spoilers and stuff. And additional spoilers for Exhuma (2024)

First off, the theme of the movie was hugely satisfying. Instead of brushing over the imperialism of Japan the movie says "there were no glory days, it wasn't an honorable death, this is just a bunch of creepy old men hungry for power"

It's heartwarming that this movie is a story about how Mizuki and Gegero met when this is for the 100th anniversary of the author's birth (who is also named Shigeru Mizuki). Clearly a heartfelt homage, I can feel it from the quality of the film- the story beats, the themes, and the designs all seem inspired by him.

The animation was so smooth and the style was consistent. The Gegero vs Osada scene has good sakuga and the stylistic choice of shaky lines was *French kiss*

Character designs are an odd mix of old school and modern anime, but toned down to fit the setting and mood. I'd rather have the designs align with the old school style, but the modern style is worth it with the crispiness

Sometimes the line art did seem inconsistent with some parts being thicker than the rest but it didn't show up much

Tbh I came to the theaters just to simp for Mizuki and he didn't disappoint. Quite charming lad.

His character arc was slightly unsatisfying but since this is a prequel I know parts need to be cut off to keep his character consistent...

Also he's canonically a pretty boy?? The movie mentions he looks like Sada Keiji and

Damn

He's gives so much openings for asexual interpretations. When Gegero says 'one day you'll find someone who you'll love more than yourself', he does! He finds Kitaro. It's a nice non romantic version of the 'you'll understand love someday' trope

Thank god there's no forced romance between him and Sayo. The movie acknowledges a. the age gap and b. realistically no one would fall for each other in a few days. The 'romance' is mostly a desperate attempt by Sayo to get out of her nightmare while Mizuki is half heartedly playing along. In the end even Mizuki betrayed her by only seeing her as a means for information instead of a person. However, the only thing, and the most important point that differentiates him from the rest of her abusers is that he genuinely apologizes and tries to make amends.

He's usually at his hottest when he's holding a weapon. The gun and axe did something to me. Legit I wouldn't have bothered to go see the movie if it weren't for pictures of him splattered in blood.

Sayo deserved better! I overheard some girls say "they seriously fridged her?" when the movie ended and while I disagree that she's just a fridged woman, she was neglected by the writers

I was bracing for her backstory when the family was introduced. Big, powerful clan in an isolated area? Definitely incest here. I'm not quite sure how to evaluate the handling of CSA but one point I'd give credit for is that they didn't fall into the trap of showing trauma graphically

Her story reminds me a lot of Tezuka Osamu's Ayako. Even the two works' setting (Showa era), a lot of the character roles (monstrous head of the clan, the mad man/woman, the twit sister, callous men in a power struggle) and the themes (conservative values vs new generation) match so I don't think it's a simple coincidence

What a bummer that Mizuki gets over her death so quickly. It feels unnatural how he collects himself so fast after literally having her rage on him for using her feelings and attempt to kill him, then to die in a horrific manner. At least get him a pep talk from Gegero to be able to get a grip again.

And why is there no mention of her when he confronts the head of the clan? The lack of acknowledgement of how Mizuki and the rest of the adults failed her makes the final act feel rather disconnected, to be harsher, weak.

The biggest bummer is that the perspective of other characters are lacking when they all have interesting stories

Osada was one of the characters I was curious before I saw the movie and I was surprised by how little screentime he got compared to the fanart. I was expecting him to be a main antagonist but no, he was a faithful red herring

He's the father of the head in line yet that aspect of him is underutilized. His relationship with Tokiya and Toshiko is virtually unknown, to the point I suspect he wasn't originally supposed to be Toshiko's husband during production and they quickly changed his role. Based on fanart I genuinely thought that he was going to murder Toshiko lmao

And his role as mayor would have been much more of a threat than as an exorcist. I know Mizuki is meant to be the trump card bc he's an unexpected factor, but he could have been a formidable enemy to the duo, pressuring Mizuki psychologically by turning the entire village against him while exchanging blows with Gegero

Overall the experience wasn't bad but I feel like I would have enjoyed it as equally I did in the theater as on my laptop.

It was a lot more consistent than Exhuma but fumbled the execution by an angle of three degrees to fully satisfy me- superior in the drama and mystery aspect but Exhuma's horror and occultism was more intriguing.

That being said it's an unfair comparison since GGGNK has a younger target audience so I imagine if the directors went all out it could have been really, really terrifying. The age restriction was already pushing it when they thought scenes of eyes getting gouged out were okay for children above the age of 12

Hilariously, both are occult horror mysteries that have "Fuck Japanese Imperialism" as their message, despite one being the A-list actor movie and the other being an anime movie for a series obscure outside of Japan. (I could probably make an essay of comparing and contrasting the two's criticism of imperialism, one being from an outsider/victim's perspective and the other being from an insider/perpetuator's perspective.)

Capping off this with a subjective score of 8/10 and an impersonal score of 7.5/10 ig

[suiine]

the hannibal fbi science team out in a dark dank creepy place investigating a murder tableau, trying to solve the mystery of the Chesapeake Ripper

Jack: you know sometimes I feel like we're in one of those slasher movies from the 70s

Beverly: Haha I know right. if we were, me and jack would be the first ones killed off since we're the token POCs lmao

jack: lol what character tropes would you other guys be?

jimmy price: Brian you would be the bro dude dumb jock character

brian zeller: well you would be the loser clown character.

jimmy: I own up to that. and dr. lecter of course would be the hot girl ❤💋

will, shyly: yeah..the most beautiful girl in school..the one every one wants (>\\\<)

hannibal giggling demurely: thank you, I'm honored

will: I of course will be the virgin character

Beverly: will that means you're going to be the final girl! 😄

Jimmy: haha avenge us will, you're the only one left alive who can stop the ripper

hannibal: teehee 🤭

jack: if this was a slasher movie the ripper would a hideous monster, a grotesque inhuman abhorrence

hannibal, hottest girl in school, perfect hair and perfect makeup: teehee 🤭🤭

[threewinterssnow]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers. 💛💛💛

Also I saw on one of my posts you reblogged and said you think people should vote for snoke as the hottest character and I really just wanna know why very badly. No judge I desperately want to know.

Supreme Leader Snoke is by far, the hottest character in the sequel trilogy, and one of the hottest in the entire Star Wars universe. In this essay, I will explain just why Snoke is hotter than everyone and why I desire to be balls deep in his sexy, sexy ass.

When we are first introduced to Snoke in The Force Awakens (the only canon movie of the sequel trilogy, which is a subject for a different essay), he is only a hologram, and a very mysterious one at that. He shows up as MASSIVE, but is he truly that large? Or perhaps he's only 4.5 centimeters tall. We truly had no idea in that movie, nor did we know anything about him, which only added to his aura of mystery. Knowing nothing about Snoke besides that he seemed to want Kylo and Hux to get married (why were they always standing that close together?) we really knew nothing about him, and how could such a mystery not bring about the desire to plunge your cock into his bussy?

While The Last Jedi was in many, many ways an utter disappointment and not worthy to follow TFA, the one way it was a complete success was showing off Snoke's sexiness. Now we can finally see that he really is 7 feet tall, which maybe is a let down after his massive hologram, but not bad overall. And how better to showcase just how hot Snoke is than putting him in a sexy, golden robe? What else is the viewer supposed to think about than what lies under that robe? Is he wearing matching gold underwear or does he go commando? A gold thong perhaps? Maybe even a C-3PO buttplug? The possibilities are endless, and it was a bold choice to show Snoke in such a way to make the viewer desire him in such a carnal way. How many people watched that movie and imagined Snoke slowly stripping his gold robe off, letting it slide to their bedroom floor and Snoke showing off his nude magnificence?

One of the many issues in TLJ is how right after getting the viewer hot and ready to bend Snoke over the back of his throne, they killed him off. It was truly a travesty and one of the top ten Worst Decisions made in that film (or maybe top fifty - there were many poor decisions). With that, one would think that the "final" film of the Sequel Trilogy (although it is a stretch to even call these last two films part of what The Force Awakens began) would be bereft of any sexiness since they'd killed off the hottest character of all. Yet, we were treated to what might have been Snoke's sexiest appearance of all, as brief as it was. A pickled Snoke was not something anyone expected and it raised some interesting ideas. Could you fuck multiple Snokes at once? Does Snoke taste like pickle juice, and more importantly, does his cum taste like pickle juice? If only that film had dedicated more time to answering the important questions.

Since Snoke is so hot, it's only natural to spend a significant amount of time thinking about just what lies under that robe. We know so little of Snoke, and even less about his genitals. Does he have a cock? Two cocks? Perhaps even three or more cocks! Truly, the possibilities are endless. He could have barbs or a knot or a very, very tiny penis in its flaccid state that grows to be several meters long when it is erect. His dick(s) could be a tentacle(s). Who among us has not imagined Snoke with several long tentacled dicks wrapping around their bodies as they pummel his sexy butt?

We do not even need to limit ourselves to one fun penis type with Snoke. Maybe he has 12 penises, all of vary shapes. Perhaps one is a corkscrew with barbs, one could be a long prehensile dick that Snoke uses as an extra arm, or a long, extra muscular one that functions as another leg. And we could mix and match so many different fun penis types and give them all to Snoke.

As we know so little of Snoke, there is no reason to limit ourselves to his hypothetical penis(es). Maybe he's got a vagina or three. Depending on your preferences, you could imagine him with only a vagina (or multiple vaginas) or with penises and vaginas. Which of course, could bring up the forever interesting questions of 'does Snoke fuck himself? Has Snoke ever gotten himself pregnant?' The possibilities are truly endless here.

Another possibility is that Snoke has neither penis or vagina and that instead, he has a cloaca. Perhaps Snoke mates by rubbing his cloaca against his lovers and his jizz simply comes spurting out of his singular hole, probably with poor aim.

In the situation that Snoke does have a cloaca, he would likely have his testes (or perhaps only a singular teste) inside his body. Which for some people, might be peak sexiness, although I prefer to imagine external testes on Snoke, regardless of what else is going on under that robe. I just think we should all spend more time thinking about the pair of wrinkled prunes Snoke has under there. And how he likes to offer Kylo a nice warm glass of prune juice every night. And it may be that Snoke has more than two sexy prunes under there. Why not an entire cluster of prunes, just waiting for a warm mouth to juice them?

The situations you could put Snoke in are truly endless. Whatever your sexual fantasies are, it is so easy to imagine Snoke there. Tied up, covered in your fluids, ass and mouth and possibly other holes filled with multiple cocks. Or maybe you like to imagine your holes filled with Snoke's cock(s), getting filled to the brim with his prune juice, his thick knot keeping it all in place until your belly starts to inflate with the sheer force of Snoke's thick baby batter. Truly, almost any scenario works with Snoke, which is more than you can say about any other character in the sequel trilogy.

I mean, who the fuck want's to put their cock in Poe Dameron's ass?

In conclusion, Snoke is truly one of the hottest characters in Star Wars, and anyone who says otherwise is clearly in denial. There is no shame in wanting to fuck the wrinkled old man and his dangling prunes and once you sheeple wake up, you'll all realize this, just like you'll figure out that the lizard people built the Denver International Airport and are controlling us with the laser beams emanating from Blucifer's eyes.

[2manythoughtz]

Damon Vs Stefan, But They’re Both Toxic

One of the most popular debates on the internet ever since the first season aired is: which Salvatore brother is the best love interest? But is it really up for discussion?

(before reading, this is only my opinion based on my knowledge of the series, I'm not trying to hate on the characters or the series)

Most movies and series have their fanbases discussing many topics which can lead to real divisions among fans. The hottest topic you can ever discuss with another fan is probably what’s the best ship (romantic couple) or love interest.

The biggest example is probably the Twilight Saga which has people still arguing whether the best love interest is Edward or Jacob.

Speaking of supernatural romance, The Vampire Diaries is still to this day one of the most popular TV series, with eight seasons and two spin-offs, it quickly became revolutionary.

Seeing how people still talk about it, I wanted to compare the Salvatore brothers and explain why they’re both terrible choices. To do so, I will focus on both of them singularly so that, even if you haven’t seen the series or you don’t remember it that well, you can understand my point of view.

Stefan

I’ve seen so many people arguing that Stefan is the best love interest because he’s “the good one” and his love for the protagonist, Elena Gilbert, is so pure. 

While I can see why one would think that he’s not as “evil” as his brother, I wouldn’t say that he is good. In fact, I think he’s just as bad as Damon on so many levels.

But let’s take it from the start. We meet Stefan immediately in the first episode, he’s portrayed as this mysterious, good-looking and emotionally unavailable guy who was extremely acclaimed in every 00s movie. He’s enrolling in the same High School as Elena, and we can see right there that he’s not like any other boy in that school.

In fact, he’s a vampire and he’s decided to study there just to meet Elena. Why, you would ask. Well, because Elena looks exactly like Stefan’s old lover Katherine. Funnily enough, a few seasons later we find out that Stefan never truly loved Katherine, they had their share of fun and he cared for her, but once he realized what she had done to him, he immediately resented her. 

Elena and Stefan fall in love and they help each other whenever something goes wrong, which happens very frequently. Because of that, they get separated and their love slowly fades away as they break up after a year together. 

Elena gets with Damon, but we’ll talk about that later, and Stefan has some up and downs before falling in love with Caroline. Their relationship is peculiar in a way, at first they both push each other away, then get together, then push each other away again and then get back together again. 

Spoiler alert: Stefan dies in the end as he decides that he wants to sacrifice himself to help Elena and Damon live a happy life together as they wanted. 

So, as you can see, he seems like a very gentle and honorable guy, but there’s more to be said about him. 

Stefan is a ripper, he can’t control himself around blood and ends up losing his humanity as he slaughters and eats every human along his path. He’s known for killing entire villages, spreading chaos and fear. Sure, one might excuse him because later on it’s revealed that he got that gene from his mother. 

But let’s put it this way. For Stefan blood is like alcohol for an alcoholic, they may not know what they’re doing when they’re drunk but that still doesn’t excuse their actions, the same goes for our vampire. 

Stefan is a hot mess as a vampire, he’s a ticking bomb and only has two regimes: he either feeds on animals, which results in him being way too weak, or he drinks blood and goes crazy.

Not to mention, the young Salvatore isn’t exactly an angel. He’s done many wrongdoings throughout the series but they’ve all been forgiven just because he’s Stefan and everyone likes him, only in the last season he finally realises everything that he has done once he becomes human, a big foreshadowing of his death in the end. 

He’s still manipulated and killed people because they were getting in his way, but maybe that doesn’t really count as toxic seeing as most characters in TVD do so without any problem. 

So let’s talk about his attitude throughout the 8 seasons. Stefan has had a few love interests after Elena broke up with him, that wasn’t necessarily his fault since he had been compelled by Niklaus to turn off his humanity, but even after regaining his humanity, he seems off and distant. 

After Elena, Stefan is confused and doesn’t really know what to do. But just as he was about to get over her, his brother gets sucked into another dimension (so much happens in TVD, so I hope you can keep up with me) and he decides to just leave everything behind and get a new life and a new girlfriend.

That doesn’t go too well since the girl dies soon after, he was never really into her and never opened up about anything with her. 

So later on he realizes that he’s in love with Caroline, what a surprise, but the two of them cannot be together yet. Once they actually become a thing (it takes a while), Stefan’s first love appears and Caroline is very jealous.

Does that stop Stefan from running away with his first love and having a relationship with her as soon as he’s in danger? Nope, he does leave Caroline without saying anything and spends years with his first lover. 

Not to mention, as soon as he gets back in town he gets dumped by the girl and he goes back to Caroline. She accepts but tells him that he can’t run away from her anymore.

He kind of runs away again? He proposes to her but he’s also wanted by the Devil to work for him, so he turns off his humanity and leaves Caroline… again. 

See a pattern here?

In the end, as I said, he sacrifices himself for Damon and Elena… right after marrying Caroline. 

Now, I’m not saying he’s the worst person in the whole series, but I must admit that his relationships were all very weird and superficial. He never really got in-depth about his feelings with anyone a part maybe from Elena. He always sacrificed himself for Elena, which was cool when they were together, but after breaking up my question is… why? He gave up on his brother when he thought he was dead, but never gave up on his ex-girlfriend? 

Let’s see it from Caroline’s point of view. Her boyfriend took his sweet time to realize that he liked her, he left with his first lover, proposed and then immediately un-proposed since he worked for the devil, he had a full debate about whether he should’ve married Caroline and after marrying her he basically kills himself for his ex… 

As I said, I don’t think he’s exactly good. I personally think that he’s very toxic in his ways, we just learn to ignore it throughout the series because he’s always painted as the best brother. But to be fair, even if he had stayed with Elena things wouldn’t have gone any better between his blood problems and tendencies to sacrifice himself for anything. 

Damon

Let’s talk about the older brother.

It’s fair to say that most people love Damon even if he’s the bad boy, or maybe they like him because of that. 

I honestly think that he’s had a big character development in the first 3/4 seasons, but after that, it got really boring and repetitive. At least, unlike Stefan, he learned to value himself and those around him. 

Damon is presented to us as this jerk and heartless older brother whose only goal in life is to torment Stefan for everything he’s done to him. That promise gets forgotten very quickly in the series, but that’s a different topic. 

I personally cannot stand Damon in the first 2 seasons. He’s so exaggerated in every way, he’s made out to be this big bully who kills without remorse and sleeps with everyone. 

He literally kills for no reason if not for fun, but everyone gets over it very easily, if not for a few times when they kind of point out to him that he’s not the best person ever, but what really ticked me off was the way he treated Vicky and Caroline.

Vicky’s death is something spoken about every season with her making an appearance every single time. So many things would’ve changed if she hadn’t died! And Caroline… well, I just felt sorry for all the abuse she had to endure and that everyone ignored once she became a vampire.

Can we also talk about the fact that Damon is like 25 (ignoring the fact that he's been alive/dead for 170-something years) and sleeping with Caroline who’s 17 while having a crush on Elena while she’s also 17? Yikes.

He’s very determined to find Katherine, his only true love who is later revealed to be a traitor and a liar. Everything Damon has done to get her back means nothing and the worst part is that Katherine has always been in love with Stefan and Stefan only. 

Once his love dream gets destroyed, he focuses on Elena full-time. He seems to be dependable on his love interest, meaning that he lives his life based on that only. 

And his personality doesn’t really change when he turns off his emotions so there’s not much to compare him to, if anything it just makes it worse because it means that he’s always so bloodthirsty and perverse in a sense. 

He doesn’t really have any relationships other than Elena and Katherine, he does hook up with many people throughout the series but it’s nothing more than sex most of the time, except for a few women he befriended.

The only good development he had was about caring for his friends other than his girlfriend. But that doesn’t cancel the fact that he was willing to kill and actually killed Elena and Stefan’s friends for nothing. But yeah, there isn’t much to say about Damon since his main problem is killing people here and there and his obsession with his love interest.

But even that doesn’t stop him from sleeping with other people while being deeply in love with Elena or Katherine, although this is a bigger problem in movies and series, cheating is so normalized that people don’t even think about it anymore. While one could discuss that he didn’t really cheat since Katherine was allegedly blocked under a church and Elena was asleep and couldn’t wake up. But is it really a good excuse? I mean, if his love for her was so deep that he wanted to become human and spend the rest of his life with her, shouldn’t he only want to sleep with her?

As per toxicity, in his relationships, he’s pretty stubborn and easily irascible. He’s Stefan’s opposite, so while he’s understanding and open to confrontation, Damon tends to think that his opinion is always correct and there is no other way until proven wrong, and even there he won’t admit that his idea wasn’t the best. I think it’s safe to say that he has some anger issues, every time he has an argument with someone or feels threatened he goes rogue and unleashes his anger on people. 

He’s not the nicest but as I said, that doesn’t mean much. He might not be as nice as Stefan but that doesn’t make him worse, to be honest. 

So in conclusion I don’t think that there’s a better choice, both brothers helped and ruined Elena's life in many ways. Both of them had this superhero complex and wanted to sacrifice themselves all the time, they could’ve just come up with another idea or something half of the time but they didn’t. And every time Elena got in trouble it was mostly because of them, because someone wanted to get revenge on what they did in the past or simply to hurt them and she was the perfect way to do so. I’m also pretty confused by the fact that they fell in love with Elena just because she looked like Katherine at first, Damon’s infatuation is plausible since he was head over heels for that woman, but Stefan? He never really loved her, so why approach Elena in the first place?

Like most stories with supernatural characters, vampires are not the healthiest partners. Stefan or Damon? That’s not an easy decision, but not because they’re both amazing people, although they did care for Elena till the end. They’re both toxic and difficult to deal with but maybe that’s exactly what made them so memorable and acclaimed by fans. No matter how cold and scary they could seem, they had a sweet side of them with the people they really cared about.

Which brother do you prefer? Let me know!

[obiwanwhat]

This is perhaps my hottest star wars take but on some level, I do have mixed feelings about Ahsoka's ending in Rebels. I'm not the first one who's ever said this, but narratively speaking, it's a bad ending. Filoni wanted to eat his cake and have it too (have an iconic showdown between Vader and Ahsoka, but also not kill off the character for future use). And imo, he did so in the laziest way possible: introducing an overpowered Deus ex machina that came out of essentially nowhere (like kinda from the mortis arc? but also not really this was not the logical conclusion from the mortis arc) and using it to handwave her survival. It's bad writing! It shows an inability to either commit to the end of the story you've started (Ahsoka refuses to leave Vader in an iconic battle and dies for it), or to write a more interesting story where her survival makes more sense.

But at the same time. I adore the Vader showdown, it's such a cinematically satisfying scene. And externally from the narrative of Star Wars - seeing Ahsoka live means something to me, and to a lot of other people. In a universe that still has relatively few mainstream female characters, and even fewer female Jedi characters, seeing Ahsoka live, and grow (grow to be middle aged, even!! we met her as a teenager and now she's in her 40s!! DO YOU KNOW HOW RARE THAT IS FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS-) means something to me. On some level, dumb as it sounds to write it out, the existence of the Ahsoka show is deeply healing to the little girl in me who didn't understand why Luke got to be a Jedi and Leia didn't. Who only saw female Jedi as main characters in books and wookiepedia articles growing up, never onscreen in live action movies (the sequels didn't come out until I was in high school, and the clone wars show wasn't on my radar growing up). And granted, I have no idea if Dave Filoni was actually thinking about people like me, or if he just wanted to write what he wanted to write. But on some level....I guess a little bit of lazy writing is kinda worth it, to me at least, to experience that healing.

[weirdstuffinthewoods]

Bride of Chucky

A Review

Ronny Yu made the correct choice working with the one and only father of Chucky, Don Mancini. I feel like Don's seamless continuing control over the Chucky franchise paired with Ronny Yu's absolute lack of knowledge of the Chucky franchise (and his love of the monster) made for a one-of-a-kind franchise installment.

Writing- 5/5

This entire script takes the snark we know Chucky for and dials it up by giving him a dominating sparring partner in Tiffany Valentine. There are some jokes that kinda feel needless (repeating the "what a crock" joke only got an "eeh" out of me), but Voodoo for Dummies?

And lines like:

"For God's sake Chucky, drag yourself into the 90s"

"Martha Stewart can kiss my shiny plastic butt!"

When Chucky tells Tiffany to "act natural" and this is her response

The entire weird sex scene conversation that 100% does happen in a film about two sentient dolls? It was only a matter of time before we got here, let's be honest.

The addition of Tiffany Valentine allows for a totally valid reason to shake things up- creative kills, high-speed freeway chases with two DOLLS holding two whole adult humans hostage, and the film's only gay character (spoiler but RIP David) getting absolutely blasted by an 18-wheeler for no reason other than Don probably just realized the cast needed to shrink real quick.

Special mention-

The honeymoon suite kill scene. Yeah, it looks a little cheesy, but you best believe before I was old enough to watch horror movies, my older cousin was telling me about this scene in vivid, terrifying detail (much scarier than reality, but what can you do?)

Soundtrack- 4.5/5

Living Dead Girl starts this movie off with a bang and a moment I haven't forgotten for one second of my spooky sapphic life. These are the moments in which horror icons are made.

The soundtrack is mostly upbeat drums and chugging guitar riffs which I loved (it especially added to the freeway chase) I just didn't go full 5 stars because I didn't notice it as much as I'd want to in a party movie like this (because yes, if I ever do host a halloween party I will be popping in this exact VHS to play on repeat).

Also shout out to my boy, Graeme Revell. Been a legend since The Crow in my eyes (but also for so much iconic 80s and 90s horror....and Sharkboy and Lavagirl) and I'll always get excited when I see that name in the credits!

Effects- 4.75/5

First let me say Chucky looks fantastic. Can he emote as well as Tiffany with those pencil-thin eyebrows? Maybe not but this is the opus version of Chucky, so.

The animatronics are still my favorite thing to watch in a Chucky film because you forget that these aren't sentient dolls almost constantly (except when Chucky's body double is crawling on all fours- that's some nightmare fuel). Their faces are so expressive (for rubber doll faces) and there's even a shot of Tiffany walking across the floor of a Winnebago (maybe?) without a wire in sight! Oh, how far we've come.

The effects in some scenes are a little cheesy (the honeymoon suite kill, the gross, fleshy title card, etc) but it's easily overlooked because Chucky and Tiffany are by far the main event of the sfx team.

Extra ratings?

Queerness-3/5

Written by an out gay man, HELLO!

Alexis Arquette!! Easily the second-hottest person in this movie, I loved seeing her camp it up (in a masc role, but goths love to play with androgyny so I'll take it) as the try-hard Damien.

This also unexpectedly features the gbff trope usually reserved for rom-coms in David, a guy whose queerness isn't painfully exaggerated like some portrayals were at the time, and who's probably the most level-headed of the bunch.

RIP, -2 because David got blasted by a big rig and not in the fun way.

Bride of Frankenstein retelling 5/5

It's pretty obvious on rewatch, but this is a whole Bride of Frankenstein retelling. It even follows the title convention (I tell my younger self who completely missed the comparison). I haven't read the dissections of the original that explain why the bride is a metaphor, but in a more literal sense, this Bride has the power unlike her predecessor. Even though she falls in with a toxic ex, she has autonomy and pushes back, eventually sort of kind of helping the two teens (who are not interesting enough to put in this review) stop Chucky. And she gives birth to a weird demon baby while mostly charred through a non-stretch plastic vagina so. That's pretty metal.

Tiffany Valentine 11/5

TIFFANY VALENTINE THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE

THE COSTUMING

THE TRAILER SET DRESSING

But most of all the performance!!!

I may be looking through heart eyes, but I'm not wrong!

Overall, Bride of Chucky will never not be one of my favorites. The addition of Jennifer Tilly allowed the Child's Play series (and all future iterations), to have fun, but to also play with the tone of its installments. Seed of Chucky and the Chucky series tend to focus on Chucky (and friends)'s humanity and personalities, whereas Curse and Cult of Chucky take the franchise back to an exciting, sometimes scary, and eventually openly queer and complicatedly sapphic place. Ignoring the reboot (which he was thankfully not responsible for), Don Mancini's got quite a legacy going, and Ronny Yu had a key part in that.

[multifandombullshitbabes]

gimme ur hottest take about the Kung Fu Panda universe pls

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST RANDOM ASK EVER LOVE IT

i do have to rewatch the trilogy tbh, but i guess there r a lot of things that come to mind that kinda make me go "uhhhh this couldve been better" but theyre kinda small things. now hot takes? thats a different story altogether

i think maybe my hottest take would be: master oogway couldve totally prevented so much pain n suffering, right in the first movie with tai lung but also in the rest, but chose not to. i feel like the idea of a destiny or a prophecy is always a double-edged sword when theres a master/seer character involved; because on one hand they know what will happen, theyre the ones with the most context n information, so they know how to stop bad things from happening; but on the other hand, should they? if this is the prophecy or whatever, should they? and in terms of these masters/mentors characters, they never do, because this is how its done

but i also think thats very bullshit, and my fave thing is breaking the rules of old. which we thought had happened in the first movie but i think we actually find out later on that pandas have a lot of spiritual connection? so master oogway probably already knew that po wouldnt need to "prove himself", he knew po would be a kung fu master in no time.

so i gues my hottest take is that, as far as i can remember, they never address this. they never address how master oogway literally knew all this shit, or probably did, and in the name of destiny or whatever it was, he didnt. imo, tai lung shouldnt have died, in fact, i dont even think all that shit shouldve happened if master oogway had gotten off his high horse and just told tai lung the truth, damn tradition, damn all that, tai lung was killing people. even before that, it was obvious he was going to explode. and master oogway couldve stopped it. but didnt. and that makes him, imo, one of the cruelest characters in the kung fu panda universe

thats my hot take ig. again i have not re watched in a long time, maybe they did talk abt this but yh

[janaawrites2024]

Week 3 Writeup #1: Personal Writing

Write about your hero.

Written by: Nike

I've read many heroic stories in my short life, and my all time favorite will always be Spider-Man.

There’s much to like about Spider-Man. What’s not to like? He’s witty, he’s cool, he’s smart, he pulls the hottest people, his suit is cool---I could go on. But the most common reason people admire the webbed wonder is because of the sheer strength of his perseverance. You see, Peter Parker has been through a lot. Actually, it’s more the fact that he’s always going through a lot, whether it be his Aunt May having cancer in the comics or his villains acting up or just bad luck in general (kicked out of his apartment). It always seems as if life (or the writer for his comics and movies) was out to get him specifically.

And well, when the writers keep finding new ways to beat you down, giving up was always a temptation one could not resist. Many a time, Peter was in this boat. And many a time too, he found the courage to stand back up. Scared, bruised, and bloodied to hell and back—he stood up and went back out there to fight for people who would never know who he was outside of his spider moniker.

That’s another thing that I admire him for. His deliberate kindness. A gift passed to him from his Uncle Ben and Aunt May along with the famous quote, “With great power comes great responsibility.” I say deliberate here because Peter wasn’t always a very kind person. In fact, in the beginning stories of his comics, he was bitter and angry at the world (which he had all the right to be). When he gained his powers, the first thing he did was join an underground fighting ring to make money off of it to buy himself a car and impress his love interest, Mary Jane Watson. When his Uncle Ben died after a robber shot him (a robber that he didn’t care to stop), he was so consumed with his need for vengeance that he nearly killed the man responsible. But reminded of his dearly-loved Uncle’s words, he spared the man’s life. He then went on to shape his entire life to upholding his Aunt and Uncle’s teachings, and to make sure that no one would ever feel the same type of grief and loss that he felt on that day for as long as he was able.

Of course, as I’ve previously mentioned, life would always treat Peter as if he was its personal cat toy, and his morals would always be tested with his heart. Still, he makes an effort to reign in his anger, and be so consistently good and kind that it would inspire others that watch him to act with a similar goodness.

There are many iterations of Spider-Man (Spider-Noir, Robot Spider, Spider-Woman, Spider-Pig), but here’s the thing: no matter what shape or form they come in to take the mantle, they almost always show the same traits of stubbornness and kindness as the first one.

And here’s the third reason as to why Spider-Man is my favorite. The thing about ‘Spider-Man’ is that anyone can wear the mask. Anyone can be Spider-Man.

For others like Batman, Superman, Iron Man, Captain America, or Captain Marvel, to name a few, there’s something specific about their personas that you have to carry in order to be them. You can’t be Batman or Iron Man if you aren’t rich or a genius. You can’t be Cap either if you don’t have a sense of duty or love for your countrymen that requires you to stand up to dictators without flinching.

For me, it’s a tall order to look up to them because, well. They’re legends. They’re too ‘big picture’ for me and all for the greater good. Distant titans with cheesy posters, saving world after world; shining, powerful, buff, and so far from everything I could ever hope to be. Point is, I’ll always be looking up at them. For Spidey, I could be him and all it would ever require of me is heart (and maybe Spider powers, it’d be cool to have them). For me, this character says to me that, no matter how small, I could still make a difference. And for all that I know that small difference will have a greater impact than I could ever imagine.