#they just suddenly went live
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i think i just went insane
#anthony green#dunesposting#they just suddenly went live#wHy didn’t I record shit#you know what each and every day I get Anthony green more and more#fucking motherfucker
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so one time i got bit by a brown recluse which is one of the only types of spider in my area that's actually dangerous and at first i didn't know what had happened to me, only that it was nasty. the swelling wasn't going down and the wound started to get ugly. i don't want to like get into the details because that's gross but it got to the point 2 weeks later that i was worried enough to go to the doctor, which i hate doing.
i am not afraid of spiders but other people are so i'd been covering it with this big ole square bandage (i needed more landscape coverage than a simple bandaid) and sat in the university medical waiting room, kicking my heels and playing BOTW. the nurse who admitted me was like, oh, we have got to get Tom to cover this one. she wrote spider bite under my ticket.
i waited in the near-empty building for like an hour and then nurse tom shows up in spiderman scrubs, out of breath. "sorry," he says, "i saw - your slip - and I had," he heaves in a breath, "to run home and. get. these scrubs. i literally. ran. felt like a job. for. spiderman."
i laugh. he puts his hands on his knees, thumbs-ups at me. fishes a pamphlet out from under his clipboard that basically says spiders can be scary but you don't need to be scared, there's very few dangerous spiders in new england. "honestly," he wheezes, "we probably don't need to get you into an exam room. just..." he waves his hand at the pamphlet, "read that."
i look down at my arm. then back at him in his scrubs. and then down at my arm. i like that he made an effort to make a joke, but now it does not feel like a good joke, because they are mistaking my calm for a lack of injury. "can i. like. at least show you the bite?"
he gives me kind of a weird look, which is fair, but then says. "if. i mean, if you have to."
i peel the bandage off. his face goes green.
"oh," he says.
"yeah, man."
"a... spider bit you?" his voice is high and tight and trembling. he backs up a few steps.
"i think a brown recluse," i offer. "i know it's nasty, sorry."
"excuse me for a moment." he looks over to the administering nurse on the other side of the small room. "i need to find someone else to take care of you."
the administering nurse smiles over to us with a degree of pleasure that is almost salivating. for a moment, like a window opening, i am briefly aware of what must be a psychic message floating amongst the in-between. her jaguar teeth all say this is like a party for me and i know exactly what i'm doing.
"oh no, tom," she says, grinning. "i gave her to you specifically."
#this is a real thing that happened#i then waited in an exam room for another hour until a doctor was similarly dismissive until he saw it#and then just gave me antibacterial cream which didn't help the swelling lol#it went away on its own like 4 weeks later#but that's like not the fun part of this story#i was just like. suddenly in the middle of someone else's work drama and GIRL#btw found this extremely funny#edit in the tags: oh ! i thought they were native to NE !!! ???? omg#i mean a real doctor really saw the wound and said ''brown recluse'' so i assumed he was right i never googled it#i lived on a mattress on the floor in a house of people who were always travelling#so like i guess it could have been ANY spider???#omg.....#the way this rocked my whole world
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nothing (besides everyone ignoring Orym's deal) has made me angrier than watching Dorian keep up this facade. Dorian Storm has always been a type of mask he's worn. At first he called himself a liar because of it. The happy go lucky bard was a way of escaping for him. He was escaping Brontë so he created Dorian. He didn't believe he was Dorian. Until the Crown Keepers made Dorian real. And for a while, he really believed he was Dorian. That he has this new family and new life and he could be who he truly wanted to be.
And then his brother came back and made his problems Dorian's problems. Until he had to put Brontë back on. Because even if the Crown Keepers + Cyrus called him Dorian, he was Brontë. He had to be who his brother thought he was.
When Cyrus dies, the thread to Brontë had snapped. He was going to see Orym, back to the Bells Hells, back to Dorian Storm. But the foundation of Dorian had shattered. Dorian was created in order to run from his place in life, family, Cyrus. Now he was gone. The Crown Keepers had fallen apart. His friends fell through his fingers and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He was once ready to side with a betrayer god for these people and now they're in the wind.
So Dorian shows back up to Bells Hella and he's completely broken. The foundation of both of his lives has been thoroughly rocked. No brother. No Crown Keepers. The two things that forged Dorian Storm. He wears that mask so fucking well. Because he still wants to believe in it. He said it live on stage that he should "believe his own backstory". The one he made up. The one where he was a bard.
He wants to be Dorian so bad. He spends all his money on Orym, he spins the bottle so he can kiss his friends, he flirts, he blushes and giggles at compliments. Exactly how Dorian would, should.
But he wears the gold of the heir. He has a festering animosity inside his chest. He doesn't sleep. He's thinner than he was. He doesn't sleep. He sicks abominations after their creators. He talks to God's without an ounce of self preservation, daring them to strike him down. He does not acknowledge them as they taunt him.
The god of beauty and magic calls him beautiful and he does not smile.
#silver sending stones#cr spoilers#cr 3 e 107#dorian storm#got carried away in both the post and the tags again#this was supposed to be an add on from those tags yesterday#but i went off the fucking rails so hard im gonna have to make another post#and listen.#i know people are ✨ multifaceted ✨#but i think its interesting to peel apart the layers of dorian storm.#because i do think all of this is just dorian.#like the rest of us he would not be here if not for his family. his brother. the crown keepers. bells hella.#he is informed by the things that happened in the past. none of these identities could have happened on their own#but if we're looking at the arch as a whole#theres the bronte era. the dorian era. and then era where they got very muddy. and the era now.#i dont feel like he's suddenly a secret third person now#but you know how we all look at the past versions of ourselves and wonder how theyd feel about us now?#dorian just has names for them#and because there was a mixing of both his lives i think dorian is having a hard time reconciling into one#he tries very hard to be both himselves#the man contains multitudes for sure#and idk i just keep picturing him as a little bronte. and exu dorian is smiling and singing with him. he tells him all about their friends#and current dorian looking at them. afraid to approach. afraid theyll ask about their future. afraid to tell them.#but theyd probably figure it out. hes wearing gold after all.
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Can't stop thinking about how Silver and Sebek's lives are so different, even during their college days.
(Canon info) ** (this post is about Sebek x Prefect btw)**
Silver’s life outside of studies: training, training, napping, club activities, napping, helping Lilia, more training, napping, training.
Sebek's life outside of studies:
training
club activities
checking on horses on cold days
going to karaoke with friends
reading books on various topics
eating out with friends
having sleepovers with friends
attending live music performances
visiting bookshops in town
visiting the barber's in town (twice a month)
writings letters to his family
helping his friends with assignments
Saving the Prefect from falling chairs, holding the Prefect's hand, drinking tea with the Prefect, training the Prefect, complimenting how good the Prefect looks in new outfits, telling stories (about Malleus) to the Prefect, recommending books to the Prefect, bringing more food to the Prefect, dancing with the Prefect, showing off his new merch to the Prefect, sharing his cooking with the Prefect, discussing art with the Prefect. -------
#sorry it suddenly went south#i got carried away#Sebek lives in my head rent free everything has to be about him lol#just giggle when I think about these moments#silver my dear you're so sweet but I'm sorry#there are some sweeeet silver x prefect moments too ofc#but maybe next time#twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#twst silver#twst sebek
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Panda biting mika going "YEOUCH!" or vampire!schlatt?
Finally caught Schlatt's stream for once and it's VRising (Vampire baldur's gate game something)
#jschlatt#jschlatt fanart#sdmp#mcyt#schlatt#vampire art#I just turn off my laptop and ready to sleep and this man suddenly went live#like hell don’t do this do me#art#artists on tumblr
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explain soup
its cause servant eclipse brought him soup when he was sick
#i dont know if i ever talked about that it just lives in my head#normal behavior of trying to overthrow the guy whos put u in servitude but also#big brothering- but also bitterness but also- soup#lunara couldve NEVER had soup#let me have the soup its fine. i dont know why its soup thats the big thing suddenly but it is#i wont reblog again cause i realixe how out of piocket i just went SOUP
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I Feel TFOne Could've Handled This Better...
Hot take but I feel like folks have been really generous with the take that OP was unable to find ~the perfect words~ in the heat of the moment (and thus should be given some grace) when he told D to stand down and "not be like Sentinel"... namely cuz I don't feel that the narrative supports this?
Like-- after all is said and done, OP doesn't reflect on that part of their split. He doesn't have a moment where he seeks validation or voices his regrets over the choice of his words, it's actually cut-and-dry. The narrative (as it stands) supports that OP saw D-16 acting up, so he called him out and stood on business, down to the last scenes where he's basically like "yeah it's a shame but y'all knew I had to do it to 'em."
It didn't have to be much! I'm not saying to absolve Megs, just show OP looking at things from a different perspective/contemplating a bit on that tough choice and the morality of the moment. Some examples of what I wish we had:
B-127 straight up blurting the obvious by later chatting with Orion like, "Wait so you told your best friend that he was acting just as bad as the guy who enslaved us for our entire lives and was torturing him like an hour ago? Oof. Seems kinda harsh." Then have some of OP's regret show on his face.
OP asking Elita-1 after Megs is banished if he did the right thing. Have Elita back his choice up, saying, "You should have seen what he did after you were... gone. It was terrifying. I know it was tough, but you made the right call." OP is grateful for the support, but a conflicted look still flashes across his face before he steels himself to look out towards the horizon... and the future.
Have OP walk past other mechs/former miners who didn't go with the High Guard saying stuff like, "Wish I could've given Sentinel a piece of my mind!" "Yeah, but I'm glad he's gone for good." "Ugh I miss everything." "Oh, it was crazy! Megatron picked him up and then he rrrrriiipped-- oops, hey there, Mr. Optimus... Prime... sir?" And have OP wave hello, looking a bit sick when they leave.
Post-credits scene with Starscream going on and on, asking Megs when they'll be back to teach the upstart Prime a lesson. Megs grabs his face to shut him up. "Patience, Starscream. The Prime thinks I'm no better than Sentinel... but I'll show him. He wants Iacon? He can have it. In the meantime we'll take the rest of the planet! Then I'll come back, crush Prime under my heel, and we'll take Iacon too. Sentinel's reign will barely be a footnote, because I'm about to become Optimus Prime's worst nightmare." The vocal performance would really need to sell this-- like picture Megs saying something like that from a place of anger and hurt, not so much a place of genuine evil or malice.
Basically instead of Orion's assertion being backed up as black and white/good vs bad, I wish we had some different opinions/reactions from the characters sprinkled in there. Like you can't tell me out of allllll the miners who weren't strong enough/willing to go with the High Guard and ended up sticking around that NONE of them were like "eyyo honestly?? Kiiiiinda glad Sentinel is dead. Wish I could have helped, tbh." like come onnnnn...
And you can't even argue that he's not an active threat-- I don't think everyone would see things that way! It's not just about the threat he physically has, but the threat he represents and is very likely to act upon if given the opportunity! He has a proven track record of not only being sneaky and conniving, but also capable of dealing some serious damage/killing people bigger and stronger than him, plus he has the backing of the Quints. All he'd need to do is wriggle his way out of jail and run off to his sponsors, then he'd probably be back to hurt more people! (If the Quints didn't just kill him out of incompetence lmao). There's a lot of "ifs" here, but I think it's a valid argument that not everyone would agree on what is the right or wrong way to handle Sentinel once he was down long enough to, like, do something about him.
I feel the situation needed a bit of nuance. In some way I wish they had kicked the can and had D and Orion bicker while Sentinel escaped, then have D get frustrated enough by the loss of Sentinel to point fingers (and his fusion canon) at Orion, who then falls and becomes OP. (Megs could still show some of thar emotion/remorse right after he does it too.) Not only would this open the door for a sequel, but tbh the Quint might have just killed Sentinel anyways and sought to deal with the miners uprising themselves lol. (Maybe that could have been an after credits scenes too instead of the B-127 bit??)
Would love to see a moment in a sequel where they have a calmer moment after arguing for a bit. Have OP mention how Megs was out of line, that it hurt and even scared him to see him act that way, and Megs can quietly point out "you said I was as bad as Sentinel... is that really how you see me? After everything we went through?"
Then OP can fumble the bag again lmao like "D, I... I'm sorry, that didn't come out right... but you still took things way too far..."
"Why am I not surprised-- your opinion is what matters the most! Maybe that's why you became a Prime, since you're so good at acting like the world revolves around you--!"
*gets interrupted by someone else before another yelling match ensues*
#rambling#transformers one#tf one#tfo#i'll be honest a lot of this stems from how rushed i felt the last like... 3rd of the movie feels#i feel Optimus is so dismissive of Megs!! like basically the whole movie but ESPECIALLY after coming back to life as a Prime???#your best friend is Going Through It. clearing having an Emotional Breakdown.#He drops you. In the moment it mattered most he chose violence... but notice what he says right before that?#Megs says ''I'm done saving you''#Like??? y'all don't wanna delve into that a little more?????#i half expected Optimus to pop up and be like ''excuse me. i wasn't done talking. what Did You Mean By That??''#instead he comes up and IMMEDIATELY has already written off this entire relationship as well.#Megs dropped him. it was a aplit second decision. we see in the movie D leaning into these bad impulses.#Orion is supposed to mature gradually so he's more level-headed by the end. why does that equate to abandoning the friendship??#why does he suddenly wanna drop Megs too? wouldn't this be the time for ''please listen to me'' part 2?#''it doesn't matter who has the matrix. we can make a change for the better! please listen to me'' etc#also minor nitpick but lmao why was OP Talking Like That after becoming Prime?#like he goes from ''haha hey guys hows it goin'' to ''You have used your gifts for Evil and Betrayed the entire planet''#babes what. Cybertron?? we went on a 2 day road trip on foot the fuck you know about Cybertron.#like betrayed Iacon maybe but idk maybe the guys in Tarn would be cool with Megs you dont know! lmao!#if my friend and I had beef and they started talking to me like the queen of england i would literally ask where they got their soapbox.#ohhhh you think you're morally superior? stop speaking for the whole planet lmao!! already named prime and letting it go to his head!!#strange dieties lying in the core of the planet distributing magic baubles that bring you back to life#is no basis for picking a planetary leader#this has been Orion Was Right: The Movie#when i wish there was a bit more.#maybe another 20-30 min would have helped me idk hhhhh#but Megs turn felt sooooo fast... then things just kept escalating from there.#''some transformations are permanent'' sir it's been like 48 hours since y'all learned you lives were a lie.#you *really* don't think Megs could ever cool down and apologize/change his mind?? you too??? tf???
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Hey do you want another angsty scenario? Mario and Luigi get called off to another adventure while Peach stays back and watches the kingdom....except the brothers just don't come back. She sends out search parties, contacts other kingdoms, nothing. Did they die? Did they go back to Brooklyn? Did Mario abandon her for someone else? It keeps her up for weeks, months and absolutely wrecks her.
Omg... ;_;
I can picture what such an ending would be like. Months after having chosen to stay in the Mushroom Kingdom to start a new life there, the brothers would one day hear of a strange surge of energy being spotted near the oustkirts of the realm, causing a mild fright to the local fauna. Curious, they would decide to go and investigate.
"Are you sure you don't need me to accompany you?" Peach would ask, casting Mario an insistent glance.
"Not to worry, Princess! I'll watch over him," Luigi would chime in with a wink, ruffling his brother's hair on his way and hefting their toolbag over his shoulder. Mario would mutely follow, his gait however slightly more hesitant than usual.
"Be safe!" The Princess would call after them, feeling inexplicably unnerved at the sight of them leaving.
Mario would stop at the door, pausing to give her a reassuring smile. His deep blue eyes shimmering in the morning sun, his expression one of tender affection and gentle regard.
"We'll be back before you know it, I promise."
And with a small parting nod, he would turn and exit the front gate.
...That would be the last time Peach ever saw him.
No one had believed the magic portal would ever return. But it had. And with its final, abrupt vanishing, it had taken everything from her. 🥀
#apologies for the feels 🥲#that ask hit me like a train#it reminded me of the Chronicles of Narnia#when the four children are suddenly brought back to the old life#how awful it must have been for everyone who knew and loved them#and who had to live the rest of their lives wondering where they went and whether they're okay 😣#it's just so painful to imagine 😭#but at the same time I kinda love it??#why am I like this 💀#mario#princess peach#mareach#luigi#concept#drama#angst#disappearance#heartbreak#grief#thoughts and ramblings
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Kdj is so powerful for reading so much since childhood and not needing to wear glasses
Either that or he just never got around to getting glasses and has been walking around with bokeh effect visions for ~15 yrs
#orv#kim dokja#random thoughts#nina's rant#i was just thinking he got good reading habits if he didn't need to wear glasses#and suddenly slapped with 'usually kids start wearing glasses at preteens' and that was around his mom went to jail#he wouldnt have the money for it as a kid#wouldnt bother his relatives for it#lived with it for long enough probably went on thinking he doesnt need it#ok i stop here before more hc spirals
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au where mike narrowly escapes the upsidedown while on patrol and gets an obscure curse to be a catboy for a month. this is amusing to everyone but mike.
#catmike au#dont know if people will like this au of mine or not but ill keep posting doodles of it cause its funny#dustin is very interested in the curse and is also conveniently the onely one who has owned a cat#hes tests things almost immediately in such excitement#basically its just him seeing mike in the living room and running quickly to his house because he needs to grab some things#its also set vaguely post s5 so some of the byers share the wheeler house#lets just say the wheelers went off for the apocalypse#dustin comes back with a laser pointer and catnip (to the others it honest to god looks like weed)#then of course hes inspecting him and asking questions like seeing if his human ears are gone and if he can move his tail and all that#they find very quickly that he can purr when will comes over next to him curiously#this def disturbs other upsidown meeting because imagine nancy's talking and in the middle of it its just *LOUD PURRING*#mike does chase lasers (out of his control) and he can in fact get hopped up on catnip#which makes him go zoomies or purr crazy loud and it makes him shove his whole body all over will like a strange clingy 5 yr old#also his pupils can go big and small and as expected it goes massive when hes on catnip#everyone finds this hilarious and they make a game of who can secretly get mike catnipped#will is the unwilling victim because he's the cat's (and mike's ofc) assighned so he'll just be sitting and then he'll#hear running qnd suddenly mikes holding his arm up and rubbing against it while purring very loudly#anyways i may have written that for no one in particular but yeah theres some cat au!#st mike#mike wheeler#stranger things#stranger things fanart#byler#st mike wheeler#mike wheeler stranger things#will byers#byler fanart#st will#st will byers#its supposed to say that wills the cats favourite person idk tumblr deleted it cause something something formatting
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Its 4 am, I should be sleeping but why is it that I just have the urge to draw and ship her with a pathetic nerd gf??
#that pathetic nerd gf is me#i watched the incredibles recently and suddenly i remembered that I am gay#but also she just kinda reminds me of jessica rabbit personality wise#shes so serious all the time until theres a vwry brief moment she was caught off guard and all her confidence were gone-#when she got sucker punched lol#also i literally wrote this on the fly i imagine like the nerd girl was the lead engineer for most of Syndrome's machine#like yes he is a genius sure but most of the technicalities were made by her#so like I imagine that one day while she and Mirage where in the same room#she was like “you could just leave this place yknow. idk what you see in him that makes you so devoted on building these intricate machines-#for him.“ and she went silent before mirage continued ”you could build for gods for superheroes but you choose to have yourself stuck-#in this volcano island for some rich megalomaniac who got hurt that some fat guy hurts his feelings decades ago“#and just as she was about to protest mirage asked again “what do you see yourself here?” and the nerd girl just kinda laughs and was like#“i dont really see any future here but all I know is he got his toys and I am having fun building it”#and mirage just couldn't help but laugh at her bluntness lol#but also it would be fun that she asked her the question back and mirage couldnt answer it either#its like working for syndrome just gave them both a purpose to live in a sense#i mean likeeee they both dont trust syndrome no no i mean like they have something to do other than wander aimlessly in their lives? idk#this should have been in this post why am i leaving it in the tags?????#anyway chat should I f/o her????#asuka speaks
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i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space
i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !
#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post#like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide#which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone#> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won#i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare#and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that#but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it#so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything#if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again#i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable#i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people#like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation#again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good#person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make#>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be#when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be#im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry
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why did ex husband bkg and reader break up ? 😞😞😞
oh dear 🥺 i think it was just a lot at once for you both 🥺
i said this in the tags already, but — i think being a father really, really terrified bakugou. whether he knew he wanted kids or not, the finality in the fact that he was bringing a tiny human into the world to mold and shape is like ajfeuehwkq because he has his issues and his problems and his sensitivities and his traumas and he knows all about them, had them for a while. how that impacts you, i think even after your lil baby was born, he was still working on that. it's probably something he'll have to work on for the rest of his life, the way he copes and deals with his humanness.
but now he's got a teeny baby ? 🥺 one that will watch his every move ? 🥺 one that will learn from him, whether katsuki wants him to or not ? 🥺 you're an adult and the way in which katsuki affects you can be resolved a little easier, because you're a fully developed person, but a baby ?? oh god, i think he was fucking terrified LOL of course happy, ultimately, but this was something that was going to completely alter the course of his life from then on.
and having a baby is hard !! they get sick and scream and cry and it's exhausting, trying to keep up with them !! you come second, especially when a baby is so young, and that is a big change !! coupled with the fact that he's a top hero with responsibilities he can't ignore; there were many, many times when he had to go, you know ? a child couldn't take precedent over his career, even if he wanted it to and — i don't think he wanted it to ? i don't mean this as a negative, but i think there was (keyword: was) a time when he preferred being out on patrol, taking down criminals and working himself to the bone, instead of facing this monumental, inescapable change in his life.
being a hero is all he knows, it's something he's done for so long, and he doesn't know shit about babies !! and i don't mean this to say he totally abandoned you, but he wasn't always home and it's hard enough !! and you had to do a big chunk of it alone 🥺 and it's hard not to get resentful about that 🥺 you're both tired and frustrated and having to adapt and i think it was easy to fight and get distant.
it didn't happen right away, but i do think it was sudden, when it did. you probably asked him not to go to work at times — which was a hard thing to do — and he had to walk out that door and live with himself — which was even harder. i think you wanted time away because you were angry, and then the fight about the house began; he wanted you and the baby to stay, but you didn't want to sit there anymore without him; what the fuck was katsuki going to do with a four bedroom house by himself? it was a mess.
i think you were probably living separately for about a month or two — which put a larger strain on your relationship — before you requested the divorce. because it just wasn't working and i think you were hurt and katsuki was trying but wasn't communicating, which hurt more, and it just kind of imploded. and katsuki was like ABSOLUTELY. NOT — which only started another fight LOL
would not sign anything. would not even talk about it. wouldn't entertain the thought. he's angry because you're angry, he's yelling because you're yelling, your baby is crying and you're fighting over who is going to change him, where he's going to sleep for the night; why would he go with katsuki, when he can never stay home long enough to take care of him ? but if you want him to be around s'damn bad, why are you trying to keep him away ? it was a MESS.
it takes his dad talking to him to figure out what to do, as heart-breaking as that is. has to tell him that time apart might be what's best for the both of you, that holding on too tight might cause more pain than he realizes. it seems like the end, but — it doesn't have to be. you have the rest of your son's life, at least, to understand what you really want from each other, and it was better to preserve that in the safest way possible than to cause irreparable damage.
he only agrees on the condition that you see each other every week, taking the time to have dinner as a family. custody is a fickle thing and you're both more than happy to figure it out amongst yourselves — which you have, over time. it was finalized quickly, once he stopped resisting. once he decided to place his hope in the future alone.
#not to say it's because you had a baby but LOL#listen. babies are difficult and that's okay#being a parent is hard and that's okay#people aren't suddenly selfless perfect beings the moment they become parents — and that's okay#i don't mean to write it as if he's the awful bad guy in the situation bc that's not how i see it ! he's human !#and he has a lot to overcome as it is !#it was just hard 🥺#harder to keep up with than it was to be apart 🥺#i went off on this again SORRY LOL#my nephew lived with me from the time he was born until about 2ish and it was. ROUGH.#to say the least LOL#cw children#✿ willow writes#✿ ask willow#✿ thoughts: bakugou#✿ theme: ex husband bakugou
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fucking love being forced to take accountability and apologize for having emotions in a situation where my aunt is dying because evidently it’s never excusable to get angry when you’re pushed. it’s never fine to get upset when someone literally says to you ‘well we’ve all lost people’ when you mention that you’re losing your second mother.
#ooc. o kaptain.#negativity /#[me: well when someone says something like that what are you supposed to do just take it and move on???? my uncle: yeah that’s what life is.#i mean if you’re in the most toxic fucking situation imaginable yeah that sure is what life is?? ‘I’m isolating everyone’ because#when everyone is telling me what to do and refuses to acknowledge my grief. my brother literally asked ‘so when are you supposed to grieve’#and the answer is??? never you’re never supposed to you’re just supposed to traumatize yourself through an event and then wonder why the#grief is suffocating. except because you didn’t… process or talk about any of it? the fact that the concept of family to some extent is#like… share your accomplishments act like you like each other and then go home and live totally separate lives that don’t intersect until#the next holiday or tragedy. and i have been doing this by. my. self. but nah man no ones allowed to have a breaking point.#like you guys wonder why our aunt suddenly died and we all turned around and went OH MY GOSH???? it’s because idk no one encourages healthy#communication in this family. you hold in all your suffering until you fucking die and then everyone acts like it’s a devastating tragedy.]#death /
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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